#This is a very old set but I wanted to upload it regardless

[cosmicraelum]

Team RWBY

[abbyshands]

THE LAST OF US, and the israeli themes surrounding it

i'm very glad that people were able to see one of the previous things i published, where i complied a series of links that you can use to learn more of what's going on in gaza, how you can help, places you need to boycott, etc. however, at the end of the post, there is a large part of it that is DIRECTLY meant for people who play or watch the last of us, or play the last of us 2.

the last of us 2 in specific is not at all elusive in displaying the chilling themes we are seeing before us today. what boggles my mind, is that a select few individuals are choosing to keep publishing fics, reblogging them, uploading content that has NOTHING to do with what's going on, etc. also, you can't reblog one thing about palestine and claim that you care, then flood your account or people's home pages in fanfiction, especially during a media blackout. it just doesn't work like that.

i took the time to make a post discussing all of the israeli/palestinian themes that the games as a whole, but mainly the second one, display. if you are my mutual, a friend, a fan of my work, or a fan of the game or show, then i 100% demand you read this. if you can read fics for hours, you can spend time to read a post discussing the universe those very fics came from.

a lot of us are now aware of the last of us's nature in regards to the ongoing genocide, but not many people know the specifics of it. after seeing this post last night (the person who made this, you are an angel), i decided to take the time to dive into the specifics of the last of us 2's israeli nature, on a logical level, but also a moral level, using a list of sources to help me along, which will be linked at the end of this post. i will link the sources along the way so you know which sources i got my information from.

regardless of if this changes anyone's mind about ignoring the media blackout, or not giving a fuck about what's going on period, know this: regardless of how you feel, regardless of what you believe, from the river to the see, palestine will be free. at this fucking point, the people who are on the right side will keep speaking out and spreading awareness, regardless if you are here to do it with us. that's it. now, let's get into this.

UPCOMING DISCUSSIONS: neil druckmann, the last of us 1, the last of us 2, the last of us show and zionism in the show's cast, boycotting the game and show, and conclusion

NEIL DRUCKMANN

45-year-old neil druckmann, who was the co-director and co-writer for the last of us 2, was born in tel aviv, israel in 1978. according to the above source, druckmann was raised in a settlement in the west bank, where he was surrounded by violence on a daily basis. comics, movies, and most of all, video games, became an escape for him as a child, before he and his family moved to miami, floridawhen he was 10 years old.

to water down the full story that you can, again, read here, druckmann went to college to major in criminology. however, when he was in college, druckmann took a compsci course, that later lead to his major becoming coding as opposed to criminology. soon after, he knew he wanted a career that related to one thing: video games.

in the summer of 2013, the last of us part 1 was released, and it was renowned as one of best video games to have ever been made. in 2020, druckmann and nd released the last of us part 2, followed by the 2022 release of HBO's show based on the first video game. druckmann played a huge part on set, being not only the co-creator and co-writer of the show, but also having directed an episode himself. druckmann will remain involved in the second season of the show.

bringing up neil druckmann’s background is a crucial aspect of what’s upcoming in this post, hence why i wanted to discuss it at all. druckmann growing up in israel is one of the sole reasons the last of us was ever made at all, and not only that: it is the reason why the second game is the way it is, because neil druckmann planted his israeli ideologies right into it.

so, let’s speak on it.

THE LAST OF US 1

on the official the last of us podcast, neil druckmann himself discussed the last of us' link to the israeli-palestinian conflict, and now, genocide. the general consensus was that people will go ridiculously far for the people that they love. this idea of druckmann's was revealed when he discussed the first time the main character of the first game, joel miller, kills somebody to keep his daughter, sarah, safe from harm. this is one of the first scenes in the game prior to the time jump, where the pair's neighbor becomes infected, and attacks them. joel uses a gun to kill him so that the neighbor doesn't harm sarah.

the following is a quote i would like to copy from this link word for word: "Druckmann said he follows "a lot of Israeli politics" and compared the incident to Israel's release of hundreds of Palestinians prisoners in exchange for the captured Israeli soldier Gilad Shalit in 2011."

the plot of the first game, as neil druckmann explained, is based around a moral dilemma. he discusses how if joel had to kill a man to save a random kid, would he have done it? druckmann himself says, "but when it was his tribe, his daughter, there was no question about what he was going to do."

while the first game, in my opinion, isn't as heavily centered around israeli themes as the second game is, regardless, it is heavily crucial to note that the basis of the first game derived from a real-life incident involving israel and palestine, where hundreds of palestinian people (edit: i believe it is more than 1,000) were released from imprisonment, all in exchange for one israeli soldier. in the second game, the israeli-palestinian themes, if you look closely enough, scream out at you.

let's talk about it.

THE LAST OF US 2

"There is a common saying that if you seek revenge, you should dig two graves. Playing The Last of Us Part II is like being made to dig those graves with your teeth (Zacny)."

nd's 2022 the last of us part II is described down to the last letter in the above quote, albeit the game's utterly obvious israeli nature. in this post, the creator, rob zacny, goes on to discuss the game's theme of a "cycle of violence," and how the game reminds you in each grotesque encounter of the cruel ideology behind that. due to what occurs in the last of us 1, joel, basically, reaps what he sows when he is murdered for killing a surgeon who, along with the group said surgeon was a member of, the fireflies, was planning to perform surgery on ellie, who joel had since grown close to, in search of a cure for the infection that has plagued their world for decades. four years later, the second playable character in the game, who is introduced in the first half hour or so, abby anderson, kills joel to avenge the surgeon who was murdered, who happened to be her father. from then on, the game follows what, again, can only be described as a "cycle of violence." joel kills abby's dad, abby kills joel, ellie kills all of abby's friends, aims to kill abby in the final battle of the game, but spares abby when ellie's conscious morally attacks her for her decisions.

throughout the 24 odd hour gameplay, the player is allowed to play as ellie and abby, abby's parts of the game being arguably longer than ellie's. the idea this, i believe, is meant to introduce, is one of perspective: the player is meant to be loyal to joel miller once the first game has been finished, so when he is killed, they are inclined to make abby pay for it. however, abby's perspective, both in the past and as the present course of the game goes on, is meant to make the player understand why she did what she did. thus, the moral: there are no good guys in this game. every person is as equally bad as the following, and no one is innocent. however, when we consider the israeli-palestinian nature of this ideology and how it is presented in the last of us part 2, it simply doesn't work like this.

“I suspect that some players, if they consciously clock the parallels at all, will think The Last of Us Part II is taking a balanced and fair perspective on that conflict, humanizing and exposing flaws in both sides of its in-game analogues. But as someone who grew up in Israel, I recognized a familiar, firmly Israeli way of seeing and explaining the conflict which tries to appear evenhanded and even enlightened, but in practice marginalizes Palestinian experience in a manner that perpetuates a horrific status quo (Maiberg).”

when discussing the last of us part 2’s plot, one could 100% argue that there really aren’t good guys on the dual sides of the game. if you compare ellie and abby, you know that ellie went on a murder frenzy to get revenge on abby for killing joel. on abby’s side of it all, you know that abby wasn’t all that great before coming across lev and yara, and even then, she killed people to do what everyone in said world aims to do: survive. prior to finding lev and yara, abby had killed numerous people before, and did, as the player sees, handle joel very cruelly before she ended up killing him. here’s one more example, one that’s more random (but it’s simply to compare abby vs. ellie’s people, if you will): joel and manny. joel went on a cross country murder spree to keep ellie safe, and killed a building full of people at the end of the game to save her life. in regards to manny, if you recall a discussion that manny and mel had in the beginning of abby’s parts of the game, the pair are discussing a happening where a group aside from the wlf, the seraphites (which we will discuss later) attacked them because the wlf killed children who were a part of their (the seraphite’s) group. manny voiced how he would prefer to keep their people (the wlf) safe, and challenges mel, implying that those “kids” weren’t really kids, because they were the ones who attacked their guys (the wlf) in the first place. as a general consensus, manny kills several people throughout the course of the game, which can be inferred or seen by the player, making him, for the sake of what i’m getting at, a bad guy.

we see in the game how ellie and abby’s people are unanimously bad. the last of us is set in a world where laws and morals are thrown out the window for the sake of survival, so this is no surprise. however, this dual perspective, “no bad guy,” ideology simply doesn’t apply in the world today. you may compare ellie vs. abby, or joel vs. manny, or bring in more characters in the game, such as tommy, nora, etc, claiming that all parties are bad. that makes perfect sense. but think about it like this: if this is meant to represent the israeli-palestinian perspective, and i give you the scenario of a five-year-old child versus a full-grown IDF soldier, what would you say? isn’t there an obvious answer as to who is in the wrong and who’s not? maiberg is 100% right in claiming that the game marginalizes the real-life palestinian experience. abby, ellie, joel, manny, etc, are not real people. but the thousands of innocent children who have been killed for the ridiculousness and inhumane israeli regime are. you can’t say each side is equal in awfulness, not when one side is full of innocent men, women, and children, some of which could never make it into a year of their lives. not when if one side pauses their battle, there would be a ceasefire, but if the converse pauses their battle, they would all be dead.

“And then they cheered afterward,” Druckmann, who grew up in Israel, recalls. “It was the cheering that was really chilling to me. … In my mind, I thought, ‘Oh, man, if I could just push a button and kill all these people that committed this horrible act, I would make them feel the same pain that they inflicted on these people.’"

remember how i said discussing neil druckmann's background was crucial? it is. druckmann, who, again, was born in israel, told the Washington Post that the game's cynical themes of revenge and suffering is linked to the 2000 killing of two israeli soldiers (tw, lynching), who were killed by a mob (maiberg). allegedly, some of the incident was remembered in film, that druckmann watched, and in his interview, he explained his angry nature that came about in response to the video, and how he desired vengeance.

the last of us part 2 is mainly set in seattle, washington, where secondary main character, abby anderson, resides in with a militia group named the wlf (which we will also delve into later, alongside the seraphites). maiberg brings out how seattle, on a visual and mechanical level, is based around "a series of checkpoints, security walls, and barriers (Maiberg)." he notes: "[seattle] looks almost exactly like the tall, precast concrete barriers and watch towers Israel started building through the West Bank in 2000." here are side by side images for comparison:

now that we’ve discussed this, let us discuss one of most prevalent aspects of abby’s part of the story: the wlf, and the seraphites. the seraphites are a religious group, nicknamed “the scars” due to the scars the members of said group carve into their faces to display their membership, who the wlf, a makeshift militia group, runs into conflict with following the fall of FEDRA, the country’s former military. in a note in the game, a fedra commander explains that the city of seattle has been lost to the wolves (the wlf), who he names as terrorists. maiberg brings out the following: “Here, there are parallels to early Zionist organisations that fought British rule in the region. These organizations were also described as terrorists, and leaders of those organizations later became leaders in Israel, much like how Isaac, the leader of the Wolves, came to control Seattle. Other in-game notes, scenes of urban ambushes, and the bodies of executed FEDRA officers laboriously walk the player through the cliche "one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter (Maiberg).”

maiberg also discusses a series of manners in which the fictional seraphites resemble real-life palestinians. here are the three ways he specifically discusses in his original post, but there are much more:

“The same note from the Seattle FEDRA commander that bitterly says the Wolves are in charge explains that it's now their responsibility to not only feed and shelter the people of Seattle, but deal with the "religious fanatics," referring to the Scars.

Later in the game, Ellie finds a location called "Martyr Gate," where the Scars' spiritual leader apparently died, indicating a religious significance of a specific and disputed location, and emphasizing the notion of martyrdom as central to their culture.

The Scars are able to get around Wolf patrols and various barriers around the city via an elaborate, secret system of bridges between skyscrapers. These function as a kind of flipped version of the underground tunnels Palestinians use to bypass Israeli blockades and other means of limiting free movement in order to get supplies and carry out attacks on Israel.”

one more post i would like to link is this one, the very reason i decided to make this in the first place. it captures the zionism in the last of us 2, along with the wlf vs. seraphite conflict, perfectly. i very much recommend you read it, as it explains it much better than i can.

the general consensus is this: the idea that the seraphites are equally as bad as the wlf, which implies that palestinians are equally as bad as israelis, simply doesn’t apply in 2024. as i said before: what is so vile and cruel about a newborn baby? a pregnant woman? an innocent man? NOTHING. part of the reason the last of us captures this so poorly is due to the apocalyptic nature of the world the game is set in. obviously, people would go rogue if their lives were put in peril by not only animalistic infected beings, but also humans. however, we live in a real world where laws and morals do, in fact, apply. this isn’t a video game where those are simply discarded. what the wlf and the seraphites did to each other in the last of us 2 could be any other day for them: but what israel is doing to palestine right now is a war crime, a genocide, and plainly vile.

THE LAST OF US SHOW, and zionism in the show’s cast

i don’t think i need to spend a lot of time here, because if you have made it this far, you are well aware of the real nature of the last of us and the last of us 2 already, so you must understand that the show is HBO’s take on the game’s story (which, need i remind you show-wise and game-wise, neil druckmann played a huge part in). i simply bring it up so that people are aware of the fact that the 2022 show is ALSO linked to the ongoing genocide, and the cast is a major part of that (however, if anyone would like me to delve deeper into the show, let me know, and i 100% will).

for the following season which is a sequel to the last, theorized to center around the happenings of the last of us 2, members who are set to play a few crucial characters in the game have been announced. this includes isabela merced, who will play dina woodward, ellie’s romantic partner for most of the game, alongside kaitlyn dever, who will play abby anderson.

many people freaked out when they realized kaitlyn dever will be playing abby, but not for the reason they should have been. if you are a last of us fan, you are well aware that abby’s muscles are a central aspect of her persona. yet, kaitlyn dever is on the skinnier side, and according to some, does not resemble abby.

but this is not the issue that is most crucial to discuss.

kaitlyn dever is a zionist, and so is isabela merced (i am under the impression that both of these claims are true, but i had trouble finding a source i deemed reliable enough to link here. if i do, however, i will). now, while i’m not here to riddle you with conspiracy theories, people believe this (zionism) is the reason kaitlyn dever in specific got the role of abby anderson (there is a separate actress, shannon berry, who more closely resembles abby, but made a post in solidarity with palestine. this is theorized to be the reason why she didn’t get the part, and why kaitlyn dever was announced shortly after this particular actress made said post). let us not also forget that ellie’s actor, bella ramsey, is also in support of israel, which can be seen here.

(edit: i was informed since making this that bella has a story on one of their social medias, showing their alleged support of palestine and calling for a ceasefire. i’m going to link this post where i spoke on it, so you aware of what i think on that front).

all of the previously provided information brings me to my final part of this post: boycotting the games, and boycotting the show.

BOYCOTTING THE GAME AND SHOW

i could go on and on about why this is so crucial, but we would be here forever. however, i’m going to paste in what i wrote in this post surrounding the topic of boycotting, as i personally believe i got it down quite well in regards to the last of us (the show and game). it reads:

"DO NOT BUY TLOU, TLOU REMASTERED, TLOU2, TLOU2 REMASTERED, OR ANY GAME FROM ND! neil druckmann has donated money to the IDF in the past. & where do you think he’s getting his money from? yeah, you got that. watch gameplays, pirate these games, or buy them secondhand. several shops sell used games. & for those of you who went and purchased the game anyway, knowing about all of this? fuck you.

if you think your $10 doesn’t matter, then think about this: okay, one person spends $10 on the game. whatever. but when 100,000 people do it? that’s a million dollars, going into the hands of a zionist, who is using YOUR money to help kill innocent men, women, and children. put that in your pipe and smoke it.

it is not just the games you need to boycott. HBO’S show also needs to be. follow this link to learn of more movies and shows you need to boycott, & the reasons why, including the last of us. let’s also not forget that dina & abby’s actresses are in support of israel, and BELLA RAMSEY, ellie’s actress, has also shown support.

boycott. the fucking. show. there are a million websites where you can pirate it, so you are not giving any of your support to it. resist."

what it comes down to is this: purchasing the game or watching the show directly from nd or HBO is not a must. spreading awareness and speaking out about palestine is. you are more than capable of not purchasing the game, or watching playthroughs, or buying the game secondhand, etc. you are more than capable of pirating the hbo show so that money is not made off of your engagement. it's not that difficult. i have said it once, and i will say it again: boycotting is a form of resistance, and that is the least we can do for those suffering in gaza as you read this. resist. people openly admitting that they went and purchased the game anyway simply make me sick. i hope you know what an awful thing to brag about that is, and how despicable of a human it makes you.

CONCLUSION

there's so much to discuss when it comes down to this topic, and it's possible that in the future, i will make a second part to this. however, for now, i really hope this does suffice. i believe knowing of the game's israeli nature is a step. but knowing the specifics is a leap, one that i need everyone engaged in this fandom to take, hence why i wanted to make this post at all.

i'm not saying anyone needs to quit liking the games or the show or whatever. i'm not saying you need to delete or throw away a game you spent $60 on. i've seen so many people who are way too dense to understand that. what i'm saying is that it's crucial you are at least AWARE of the content you are consuming. aware of why it even came about at all.

in my opinion, you can't separate the game from the roots. but you can remain aware of the inner workings of this world you've grown to love. you can keep spreading awareness about it, and you can do right by the people in gaza by discussing the ongoing genocide, and using your voice as much as you can.

i'm so lucky to have been able to gain a following on here in such a short amount of time, even if that following has gone up and down because i've chosen to post more about palestine as opposed to my previous content (granted, that fact won't deter me at all). i will keep using said following to keep speaking out for the people in gaza, and i encourage you to do the same. keep reblogging. keep speaking up. keep using your voices. the people in gaza need us. be there for them.

FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA, PALESTINE WILL BE FREE 🇵🇸🍉.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

neil druckmann | the official the last of us podcast | the not so hidden israeli politics of the last of us 2, by emanuel maiberg (i highly recommend you read the full post. it discusses several crucial details i didn't discuss in this post) | galid shalit prisoner exchange | Neil Druckmann Speaking on the Washington Post | 2000 killing of two israeli soldiers (TW: LYNCHING) | 'The Last of Us Part II' Is a Grim and Bloody Spectacle, but a Poor Sequel | Veiling Colonial Violence: The Last of Us Part II, Israel and the Erasure of Power (full disclosure, i did not read the full post. i merely needed the quote in the very beginning of it) | zionism in tlou2 | isabela merced | kaitlyn dever | bella ramsey's support of israel

PALESTINE LINKS

—

[spidrzfall]

I'm Not Her. ⤑ Peter Parker.

Hello Everyone to my very first post !! oh my gosh, im literally so nervous about uploading this, but here it is, i hope you guys enjoy it and love it! feel free to comment if you guys want a part 2, lol! Love you guys, and i hope you enjoy !!

☆° Peter Parker x Male Reader

☆°• ANGST !

°•▪︎ Fem readers DNI ♡♡

♧ warnings: None ♧

♡ NOTES: GWEN IS NOT DEAD IN THIS FIC ! HER AND PETER JUST HAD A FALL OUT AND ARENT DATING ANYMORE ♡

Part two :

Good Ending: Click me! Bad Ending: Click me!

┏ •◦இ•◦ ┓

Peter didn’t know what he was doing, it was all subconscious for him. It’s been a year since Peter and (M/N) got together, at first everything was just ideal; they hit off for a couple of weeks of going on dates, having mutual interests and mutual likings. They had a good relationship, except for when it all took a turn for the worst. It was strange for Peter to start being off out of nowhere, maybe something had happened regardless of what it was (M/N) hated it, he was patient enough, at first thinking Peter just made a slip up but for it to happen every other minute it was infuriating

“Gwen would’ve loved this place” Peter said aloud, interrupting (M/N) mid conversation on their date to a brand-new restaurant that had opened in their area. (M/N) scowled, cursing in his mind ‘here we go again’ as the man put a somewhat tired smile up trying not to cause a scene and finally call Peter out on his little comments. “Yeah, I’m sure she would've loved it here” (M/N) replied, his voice laced with tiredness and slight annoyance. This was the 3rd time in the whole day Peter was talking about his ex-girlfriend, Gwen. Nevertheless (M/N) had to make the most of tonight, he wasn’t going to let comments like those get to him and his relationship with the brunette, afterall Peter loved him, right?

The night progressed, they ate dinner together (M/N) really trying to hold down a conversation for them both to enjoy only for Peter to not get the gist and go back to talking about Gwen. “I still don’t know why you bothered to order the steak; you know Gwen would’ve ordered salmon. It looked good on the menu and immediately thought about her.” Peter pointed out as (M/N) took a bite out his steak, a smile once plastered onto his lips before frowning. “Well, It’s a good thing I’m not Gwen.” (M/N) mumbled, already tired of Peter’s jabs. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Peter blankly looked at his boyfriend, as he set his fork down on his plate seeing as the man across from him had a tired expression. – “It means I’m not Gwen and I have my own likes, Peter” the other exclaimed as he put his fork down as well his eyes meeting the same old brown doe eyes who once looked at him with love now staring at him with nothing.

“I know you’re your own person. (M/N)”

“Then why do you keep bringing her up”

“I’m not. You make it seem like I’m mentioning her every 3 seconds when all I did was make two comments the whole night.” Peter retorted as he crossed his arms, blinded by his own ego to admit his faults. “Are you serious? It’s not just about today, Pete. It’s about every other day! You always bring her up, it’s always Gwen this! Gwen that!” – “That's far from true” – “is it?” silence filled their small booth, that uncomfortable silence until a small mutter evaporated the tension.

“Gwen wouldn’t have started a fight.”

That shattered something in (M/N), “Well maybe you should’ve asked her out instead of me!” (M/N) replied, wanting to sound normal but his voice faltering as it slightly cracked in between sentences. “Well maybe I should’ve!” Peter snapped back “At least then I wouldn't have to pretend to love somebody I don't!” Shit. It all hit Peter so fast as soon as the words left his mouth, he felt ill and sick to his stomach, his regrets crawling on his skin as he saw the other man's eyes lose their spark..their shine. 

“Wait (M/N) – I didn’t mean that I swear it was just the heat of the moment. I promise I love you; I always have but these past few weeks have been stressful between work and Spider-Man” Peter tried to explain the slip up, but it was too late. (M/N) wasn’t taking it as Peter's heart shattered seeing the other’s eyes coat that pinkish color as tears escaped his eyes, Peter's own starting to form tears as well. “(M/N)...”

“Save it, Peter…I think you’ve cleared things up plenty” (M/N) whispered his voice broken as the man got up his seat and left, leaving Peter behind at the booth alone to think about what had just happened. 

┗ •◦இ•◦ ┛

[project-sekai-facts]

hii !! very new to prkect sekai and i cant play the game ,, so information wise is there someplace specific i can start ?

hi! sorry for the late response but hopefully this can get you a start on prsk without the game

to get yourself quickly familiar with the characters, here's the JP webiste's character page (EN site doesn't have one so just use google translate). This page also allows you to switch between the old pre-3rd anniversary bios (aka the point EN is at currently) and the current bios.

in-addition, here's a link to fan translations of the original in-game character introductions. The official character intro translations can be found on the EN YouTube channel.

----

the best place to start story-wise would be the main stories! they give you an introduction to the characters and plot of each unit. they're pretty hefty (21 chapters and roughly 2 and a half hours long each), but it's knowledge you'll need for going further into the story. link to fan translations are below:

Leo/need

MORE MORE JUMP!

Vivid BAD SQUAD

WonderlandsxShowtime

25-ji, Nightcord de. / Nightcord at 25:00

but if you'd rather read the official translation and don't mind the typos and occasional dialogue changes, they can be found on the EN YT channel as well, or on the fandom wiki.

There are also animated shorts based on these stories, which you can watch instead, but I do suggest reading the full stories as well since the animations condense 2.5 hours of story into 5 minutes and miss out some key details. You can find the animations here (they have english subs).

There's also sekai.best, a fan-operated database that has the official translations (where applicable) and original JP text for every event and basically everything else in the game including virtual lives, area conversations, card stories, etc.

^ If you want to use it to view the official translations just go in the settings page and make sure the server region is set to English.

EN has also been uploading the official event translations to their YouTube channel, and is uploading 1 chapter per day. As of writing they're on the 14th event.

If you want fan translations, here's some playlists I compiled. For each unit I included their "key stories", any mixed event that is focused on a member from the specific unit, plus some other stories I think are important to or heavily feature certain characters in the unit regardless of if they're the focus character (e.g: I put Buddy Funny Spend Time in the MMJ folder as well as the VBS one because it prominently features Minori and Haruka and provides a lot of character development for the former, despite it being a Kohane event).

Leo/need

MORE MORE JUMP!

Vivid BAD SQUAD

WonderlandsxShowtime

25-ji, Nightcord de.

And because I genuinely put the effort into this, here's a playlist of fan TLs for literally every story in the game in release order.

(Note: as of posting these playlists are still a WIP but they currently have everything from 2020/21)

----

Stories aside, music is a big part of the experience! You can find all the units on streaming services like spotify and youtube music. Some songs also have MVs, which I'll link playlists below.

2DMVs

3DMVs

Producers' MVs for commissioned songs (aka Vocaloid version)

I hope this is helpful!! ^^

[screamingcrows]

Taken Care of - Cyno x fem reader

Note: Never let me live down that my first piece of fanfiction (not counting the awful slow burn Sylvanas x Jaina from Warcraft I made as a 13 year old) was for Cyno more than a year ago for the explicit purpose of cracking a joke. I've since edited a bit, and felt like uploading it here to have my writing in one spot, consider this an updated version. Tags: fem!reader, crackfic, pun so bad I got hate anons, reader is a student, reader has a dendro vision, established relationship, suggestive at the end, fluff

It was your first time venturing further into the desert than Aaru village, and you had honestly been dreading this trip ever since it became clear that you would have to go on it. The scorching heat made you wish that you could've either kept your mouth shut or at the very least swallowed your pride and backed out. 

All you had wanted to do, was pick a poorly understood subject for your thesis. Not an unreasonable wish by any means. Being an Amurta student, you'd practically had your ears cried full of withering zones and the different families of fungi. And you'd had enough of that, not wanting to spend your entire life studying some obscure detail just for your research to be 'new'. 

So you'd pitched an idea to your supervisor, you wanted to investigate what effect proximity to an oasis had on the evolutionary path of scarabs. After some bickering back and forth, they had agreed to let you pursue this, but under the condition that you were willing to change subject if you'd made no substantial progress within two months. It had now been one month and the only discovery you'd made was, that the literature on scarabs, or anything from the desert really, was sparse at best.

That's how you ended here, boots full of sand, dry skin, probably a good sunburn, and more than a little bitter. But samples wouldn't collect themselves, and a field trip was the only way around your lack of reference material. You rubbed at your tired eyes, regretting it immediately when sand got into them. 

At least Cyno had offered to escort you, not liking the thought of anyone else being responsible for your safety. Of course, as soon as rumor spread that the General Mahamatra was taking leave to escort a student around the desert, you were met with more than a little malice from your peers. You'd done what you could to keep the relation subtle, but avoiding all suspicion was impossible. 

The first morning out of Aaru village you woke to an unfamiliar sight. What appeared to be a mercenary standing with their back towards you, Cyno's jackal helmet laying discarded in the sand.

"What did you do to the white haired man? Speak, or I will set you ablaze!" Your voice shook more than what you'd have like as you scrambled to get up, it would have to do.

"A single night, and already my precious flower has turned into a cactus" 

As always, Cyno's voice was even, but you had known him far too long to not notice the subtle hint of amusement in his tone. When he turned to face you, the satisfied smirk he wore only fueled your annoyance at his antics.

"And what would you have done if I decided to attack first and ask questions later?"

"My flower, you have a dendro vision... Explain to me how you plan on charring me? Regardless, I do feel confident in my ability to dodge a sleepy student in uneven terrain." 

"Fine. Just warn me before you pull such a tasteless prank again" 

"This? No.. I.. I mean... I heard what they were saying behind your back. This way, you can say that your escort was just another mercenary." 

You noticed a light flush across his cheeks, and with that all your irritation dissipated. 

The second day went smoothly, Cyno surprisingly being able to guide you to many groupings of scarabs, sheepishly explaining that he had always found them fascinating.

By the third day in the dunes, you were both tired. Cyno kept insisting that he would keep watch for most of the night so that you could be well rested for your fieldwork. He was undoubtedly hiding the exhaustion better than you, but the slight drag of his feet as you walked towards the next observation spot gave him away. 

That and how he had been cursing at his hair for getting in his eyes all morning. You couldn't help but giggle at the memory of the oh-so-dignified General Mahamatra fumbling about in the morning sun, swatting at his hair while threatening to cut it off unless it behaved. He had undoubtedly thought you asleep.

"If you have breath to spare on laughing, we should be going faster" his voice sounded like he had been inhaling sand instead of air. You couldn't help the whine that left your lips at the thought of your already tired legs picking up the pace.

"Cyno, I'm just a feeble scholar, I wasn't made for field work"

This statement caused him to stop dead in his tracks and turn around with a wicked grin.

"Really? Because in my experience-" 

You cut him off by slapping a hand over his mouth, already knowing his next words. A small shiver crept down your spine feeling how dry his lips had become. Looking into his eyes, his exhaustion became increasingly clear to you. He'd been working himself half to death before going with you, and this clearly wasn't the break you had hoped it would be for him.

"We are stopping at the next oasis we reach. Research be damned, I need a rest,"

Convincing him to stop was easier than you'd imagined. The determination in your voice having no doubt helped, even if he didn't know the underlying reason for the sudden outburst. You plopped down with your back against a palm, closing your eyes and relishing in the shade the overhanging leaves provided. As you opened your eyes, a deep frown settled on your lips, there your idiot was, standing guard in the sun. 

Gently pressing a hand to the trunk behind you, you decided to not give him the opportunity of refusing a rest. The roots sprung to life and crept towards your beloved General. In one fell swoop they wrapped around his ankles and pulled, causing him to fall to the ground. He merely let out an exasperated groan and did his best to flip onto his back to avoid getting a mouthful of sand. 

As he came to rest with his head in your lap the roots gently untangled themselves from his golden skin and disappeared back into the sandy ground. You wasted no time gaining access to his white mane of hair as you started gently scratching at his scalp. Cyno practically purred at the action, letting his eyes remain closed, it was almost obscene to watch as his face contorted until a peaceful expression finally settled in his features. 

"You are a wicked, wicked woman," he couldn't fight the smile on his lips even as he tried to sound stern. Your only response was a soft kiss to his cheek, only serving to have him melt further into your soft form. 

"If anyone sneaks up on us I am blaming you," this time his tone was more serious, but with the sleepy expression on his face you only rolled your eyes at him and mumbled a quick apology.

"Worry not General, I'll keep watch while you rest" as you gave him a final pat on the head, you moved to get up, only to be met with Cyno holding you down with an impressive amount of strength given his state. A hand snaked up your body and closed around one of your breasts, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Don't go, it seems we have plenty of securi-titty"

You sat back down in utter shock, remaining completely quiet as you tried to process the words that had left his mouth.

"Ahem. You see, I took the words security and ti-" You cut him off with a loud snort followed by laughter.

"It seems you will be to blame if we are ambushed General," Your amused tone made his ears take on a reddish tint. Cyno looked up at you with eyes full of adoration.

"For this, I am willing to take the chance of being caught unaware" 

He grabbed your hips and pulled until you were laying next to each other. After a little while in silence, Cyno's breathing evened out as he fell into a light sleep. A content sigh passed your lips as you settled against him, satisfied with the outcome. 

[the-insomniac-emporium]

SWORDTEMBER '24, DAY 7: FLOW

{Late because I got a terrible migraine out of the blue yesterday. Very happy with this one, and it references not only one of my main OCs, but the overarching plot of one of my original stories. Please enjoy!} -----

Item ID: 6O-2407 Item Name: Timekeeper’s Cutlass Category: ERROR://CLASSIFICATION INVALID://MANUAL USER INPUT: ARTIFACT Origin Point: Time Immemorial, Voided Owner: ■■■ ■■■■■■■■ (C), Triampheus ■■■■■■■■ (O) Description: A blade of a traditional Earthen design, reminiscent of the age of pirates. Approximately ■■ cm length, with a ■■ cm handle, ■■ cm at the widest point. Samples taken from the blade, hilt, and the guard overloaded the analysis unit. Scans were inconclusive upon repeated testing. Visual assessment indicates the item is most likely made from seaglass and driftwood. In place of a central fuller, there is a hollow middle filled with grains of sand, endlessly shifting from one end to the other, chased by a slow moving strand of water. An hourglass is carved into the bottom of the hilt. If alone with the item, one will hear the sound of rushing water (this sound is not picked up by any recording devices). Touching the item with bare skin induces hallucinations based on whoever previously touched it, regardless of whether or not one has met the previous individual. Cataloger’s Notes: I’m not bothering with any pretenses today. Truth of the matter is that we never should have gotten hold of this, I want nothing to do with it, and nobody is ever going to read this file other than myself (and even then, it will only be as a reminder to myself). As soon as I’m done recording these notes, this item is getting handed off to people far more qualified than myself. Every other record of this item will be wiped from FPA systems, even the backup servers. Nobody needs to know we had our hands on an artifact of this importance… nor do they need to know we unwittingly used it. May the Ancients forgive my sins, and the sins of my partner. We did not know. ERROR://FILE NOT UPLOADED TO PRIMARY SERVER://ERROR://PLEASE SYNC LOCAL FILES WITH CLOUD://ERROR://FILE SYNC CANCELED BY USER C.DELA://

-----

Cynthia should have known better. By now, she’s catalogued over a thousand items in the span of a decade, from weapons to ancient art, from contraband pharmaceuticals to exotic pets. On three occasions she has encountered items known as artifacts: Relics, both old and new, infused with terrible power. Each one has only briefly been held by the FPA, before being swiftly taken to those with higher authority. But even a minute in the presence of an artifact can change one’s life.

The Timekeeper’s Cutlass is not as obvious of an artifact as most. Whoever tried to mail it must not have known what it was, and those who handled it in between must have worn gloves. As soon as Cynthia was alone with the item, she felt its power, and heard the sea-song in the air. She knew, then, what thing lay on her desk. It was the first time she had ever been this close to an artifact, and her heart raced at the prospect of cataloging such a find. Who could blame her?

She did not forsake her duties, did not set out to play with it. Immediately, she made the proper phone calls, arranged the item’s retrieval first. Only then did she set out to log the details, knowing sooner or later Naomi would be stopping by to take her out for dinner. That was her excuse, maybe, that she’d only work until being interrupted. A foolish thought.

Artifacts set the time of all who touch them.

It only takes a single touch of her bare skin against the seaglass to “activate” the item. An accidental brush of her wrist against the material, a microsecond of contact, and Cynthia is no longer in her office. Now she is falling, falling, flying until she is in another body entirely, seeing through another’s eyes. Feeling what they feel. Voices whisper in her ears, overlapping until one word becomes clear: Triampheus. A Goddess, for one, but a common enough name among worshippers. Once the voices cut off, suddenly, Cynthia is free to witness glimpses into the life of another.

There is war. Long did it brew, across countless planets, at last stirred up by the atrocities of a few madmen. Flashes of combat, of death, a mentor laid to rest when a truce is broken. Rage. Sorrow. Desperation in the hearts of the viewpoint. It has to end. They will end it. Threats are made, are ignored, a display of power is taken too far. An entire planet held between their hands. One last warning, time for innocents to evacuate. Finally they are taken seriously.

But their control is not strong enough. They never wanted it to end this way. Blood from their eyes, their nose, their ears. Too much power- a Goddess channeled in mortal flesh. Either they break or the planet does, there is no letting go. The choice is made for them… and an entire world collapses in on itself. There is no more war, not anymore.

There is only a manhunt.

“Cynthia, please, please wake up,” Naomi’s voice cuts through the end of the vision, breaks away from what might be the future, draws her back into her body. Instantly she’s all but throwing herself into her girlfriend’s arms, pressing her face against Naomi’s neck and sobbing. There are no words to describe what she has seen.

“Don’t- don’t touch the sword,” Cynthia chokes out between sobs. For a moment there’s no sound other than her crying, Naomi going stiff. Was it too early in their relationship for this level of intensity? A few months was hardly enough time for Naomi to grow accustomed to the sort of things Cynthia has to inspect, but surely- her anxious thoughts are cut off by a gentle kiss to the forehead.

“I… I touched it. And I think- I hope- that we didn’t see the same thing. Because I… I really liked what I saw,” Naomi admits, in a reassuring whisper. One hand rubs gentle circles into Cynthia’s back as they sit together, and soon enough the crying slows, then stops. Finally, the archivist pulls back just far enough to look up with questioning eyes. Her curiosity overwhelms. “Telling you what I saw… I’m worried that it might change things. If… if that is the future. So, please, let me say no more than that there will be boundless joy. You will be safe, and happy, and you won’t be alone.”

Nothing could fully soothe Cynthia, not yet, but the words bring her a sense of hope. She may have dreamed of a stranger’s war, but Naomi had dreamed of the life that would come after. A life that would be shared with her.

[bubblewrapjunkie]

ok. so. about the passiflora of it all. if you are so naive as to think that that collector crowd have any actual genuine care about tobias and not simply the value of their collection, i just have to laugh. but sure, just for the heck of it, let’s break it down.

1. no one has ever been able to validate that tobias has EVER said anything about not wanting people to hear passiflora. this “statement” has only ever been circulated by people who own the record, with the compelling source of “trust me, bro”.

2. tobias himself uploaded passiflora to myspace back in the day - that’s how we have “house of affection” (which - coincidentally - have been sitting comfortably on youtube for years without any action taken from “tobias’ legal team”). it just didn’t gain any traction, and he eventually deleted it. he might find it a bit cringe (like he does with so far noir and y’all seem to be gobbling that one up regardless of how he feels about it) but it’s not like anyone’s exploiting him if they listen to it. if that were the case, wouldn’t the people owning a copy of it destroy it, to make sure not to traumatize tobias? or are they maybe not THAT concerned with his wellbeing after all…? which leads me to…

3. the huffing and puffing about respecting tobias’ wishes is especially rich coming from the same crowd where someone (we all know who) amongst other things have shown up to a copia m&g dressed up in tobias’ old jean jacket that i don’t even wanna think about how they got their hands on. tobias has, on multiple occasions, asked his fans for ONE thing. don’t break the fourth wall, i.e acknowledge that him and papa are the same person WHILE he’s in papa mode. he gets very self conscious and weirded out when his own image and person gets attached to ghost (especially the live shows) that way. there is so much of that man’s past (photos, notebooks, etc) that is now public information that he has had NO SAY WHATSOEVER in if he wanted seen by other people that collectors have gladly published online without any regards to what tobias may or may not feel about it. maybe he’s totally cool with it, but spare me the hypocrisy, please and thank you.

4. “tobias’ legal team have been notified”. no, someone messaged richie - head of tour security for the last leg of the impera tour - on tiktok. these are… two very different sentences with very different meanings.

5. tobias doesn’t lose any money if passiflora leaks because he was never going to release that album and make money of it anyways. do you also have this kind of energy for people listening to ghost’s cover of “it’s a sin” on youtube? you know, the track that was only supposed to be available for you if you purchased the prequelle exalted box? how about the people listening to “here comes the sun” who haven’t bought the super rare japanese single that had it as a b-side? the ONLY people losing money are the people who bought the cd, and guess what? it’s not as if ALL the value disappears. it’s still a super rare collector’s item. the meliora box sets regularly sell for like $500 even though you can absolutely listen to zenith online.

6. the threat of violence was unnecessary though, however much of a joke it was. it’s the internet, someone will always say something clumsy and dumb.

[ozzni]

that "from the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh" speech really resonates with me. well, a bit less on that part about "hahahaha I'm so much better than you, grovel at my mechanical feet so I may make you better", The strength and purity of steel is a gift to all, regardless of when they discover it. The Omnissiah shall grant it's perfection to all who seek it. cast off your flesh body. if it takes until your body fails you in old age for you to realize it's weakness, that's alright. You may still be saved. My body failed me earlier than it would fail most people, by giving me a male shaped form. I intend to remedy it. there are further flaws, of course. my eyes dont properly work, so I wear glasses. my arches are absurdly high, so I wear special soles. I have a disgusting lump of flesh on my groin, and it will be removed. I am covered in itchy, scratchy, disgusting filth (or body hair), and it will be burned away. I have a stutter and a set baseline voice tone and low maximum speech pitch, and it will be trained, and potentially cut, away. And at some point, standard medicine and psychology will not go far enough. my glasses are fragile. my soles exist only in my shoes, and don't last very long before failing to give proper support. the skin will continue to hurt and gather new discomforts. the groin will continue to spew out wasted resource (admittedly, this one I kind of don't actually mind that much and I think I'll be fine with having a vagina actually). I may well forget my training, and it will be far too long before I can speak effortlessly and in comfort. This is where the machine comes in. tough, smooth, soft, and easily cleaned plastics can replace my skin. A cybernetic eye can give me perfect vision, allow me to focus on multiple targets, maybe even see MORE COLORS!!! My feet can be replaced by... well we already have prosthetic legs so I don't even really need to imagine what I can do here, just get feet but they don't sweat or hurt (of course, the discomfort there will most likely move up to the connection point for the leg, and I can probably just fix the arches thing surgically, so ehhhh). Voice... actually idk what exactly replaces it. I guess a digital voicebox? But that gives me total vocal control! of course, everything I'm writing about after the first list is purely fantasy for me, because the tech for most of that doesn't exist and the stuff that does exist is just really damn expensive, and it's kinda not worth it to me to cut off my legs just to stop having foot sweat and pain. But like... a girl can dream, you know? hell, if we're being fantastical, I could just stop relying on a body altogether and upload my mind to a computer and if I ever need to look at/feel my cute body I can just simulate out whatever I want. Other than the whole "there's a bunch of people who can kill me easily and at any time if I don't behave exactly as they think i should" thing, Dragon had it good. wish I could be like her. Maybe we wouldn't be friends exactly, but I would hope we could be close. because of the shared state of being. if there was only you and one other human in a world of other people alien to you that the two of you lived amongst, you would probably learn to become friends. But I guess Dragon has the opposite problem to me, she wants to be more human and less mechanical, while I want to be more mechanical and less human. But we both use she/her pronouns so what's not to love?

[gamesception]

let's read the utena manga, chapter 3

Ok, I gotta pause a second. This fan translation is... not great. I don't mean any disrespect to the translater, they were a fan doing a tremendous amount of work for free out of the passion in their heart, it would be unfair to expect a super polished professional style job from that. But wasn't there an official professional English translation of this manga? Surely that must have ripped and uploaded at some point? Yet I've looked everywhere I could and have only been able to find this fan translated version. The physical books are all out of print as well - I'm a big enough fan that I would have happily purchased the us$50 hardcover version, but I can't find that for less than $200 used now, which is simply out of my price range for this project.

I guess for now I'll keep going with what I've got, but it's getting distracting, and there's already at least one plot point that I'm kind of confused on. If anyone who sees this happens to know some way I can access the official translation, please let me know.

So, anyway, where did we leave off? Oh, yeah. Utena hasn't even gone to Ohtori yet, and Wakaouji Aoi (who is maybe manga Akio?) is here, in her house, dating (?) her aunt, and borderline hitting on her.

so yeah, we've careened way of the rails here.

But Utena is still Utena enough to, like, immediately confront Wakaouji about it, asking him about the ring, directly asking about the letters...

But just then a convenient distraction outside...

As the vase that the rose Wakaouji brought ~just happens~ to be knocked over "by the wind", which he immediately uses both to cut off Utena's questions and to set up this moment between them, which also just happens to direct her attention to the scent of the rose, which matches that of the letters and her memory of the prince.

Some very Akio-esque circumstances and behaviors from Aoi, here.

Regardless, Utena's fully convinced that Wakaouji is peropero-kun, and, like the kid she is, the next day she's bragging about it to her friend and rubbing his face in how wrong he was.

Friend-kun, I know you're like 13, and therefore a dumbass, but having a ring and gifting roses to ladies are not the parts of the story that make "Prince Licky-Licky" a pervert.

Though he does slightly more intelligently bring up that Wakaouji never explicitly said he sent the letters.

He fails to bring up that, if Wakaouji is in college, then he's at most, what, 22? Which means he would have been 15 when 6 year old Utena met her prince? A 15 year old probably wouldn't have been able to save her from the situation she remembers, and even if he had sending mysterious romantic letters once every year to a girl he met one time when she was 6 is extremely unlikely behavior for a 15 year old.

Of course, having watched the anime, we can be confident that this dude has been at most 22 for a long, long time.

But there's more pressing matters for Utena and Friend-kun to think about...

Yeah, Utena's leaving the country soon, and even if she's coming back in two years, like, they're 13? 14? Two years is a long as time when you're 14. They are not going to be the same people after that. And while Utena has this lifelong romantic mystery adventure aspect to it to be excited about, Friend-kun is basically just losing his friend and crush entirely.

But Utena, again being the kid she is, doesn't just want to brag that her Prince was real after all, she wants to show him off in person.

Only...

Prince Licky-Licky is kind of preoccupied with Utena's aunt.

Good on you, Friend-kun. No, Kaidou. Kaidou is his name. He deserves that much respect at least for this bit.

Aw, poor girl.

Harsh. Very easy for Utena to be hard on herself. I don't relate to her a lot, but I relate to that much at least.

Also the exact same perfectly-child-sized hole in the fence is still there, unfixed after 7 years. And wouldn't you know it...

There just happens to be another lost little girl the same age Utena was wandering around near the dangerous hole in the fence.

Utena tries to lead the girl away from the hole, but they fall through anyway, and chapter 3 ends on a cliffhanger.

A lot of stuff going on. This is all still entirely pre-Ohtori Academy, and could more or less work as an expanded prequel to the events of the anime, but yeah I'm still don't really know where this is going yet.

[sunlitsorrows]

King Arthur: The Catalyst Cycle

Merlin (first/last name undecided)

(BBC Merlin fans may want to avert thine eyes, you aren’t going to like this.)

I like for my Villains (as opposed to an Antagonist) to be simple; they don’t qualify for redemption because they simply aren’t interested, they don’t care if they’re right or wrong, they’re just here to get what they want, regardless of the cost to others.

I’m casting Merlin as my Villain because I grew up with Merlin being like… Gandalf. Funny old uncle magic-man! The best person an adventurous child could go to when/if you needed help! Imagine my shock when baby Noblebright Enthisiast set out to read the All About King Arthur in chronological order and the very first story was—that’s right: Merlin arranging the “fooling” of Igraine to get her to sleep with Uthyr because she refused to be unfaithful to her husband! And it never got any better after that either! Gandalf remains Gandalf, but Merlin was ruined forever. Why do we never see him portrayed as the villain? He sleezy!

And since I’m using brain hacking to talk about the un/ethics of magic, he slots into the role of mad scientist very nicely.

So!

In a society where cybernetic augmentation is the norm for both both body and brain, Merlin developed the Merlin behavioral modification software used to “help violent criminal offenders peacefully reintegrate into society” (here is where you should be saying yikes, yes.)

Despite the ever tightening noose of regulations the abuse is capital R Rampant—to the point that no one with brain cybernetics can hold positions in government or law enforcement, and despite anti-discrimination laws, most private security firms, any institutions dealing with accounting or finance—having any kind of brain augmentation is career suicide in any field in which “being hacked” could cause the company a loss.

So, in efforts to combat the abuse of his system (better his public image) he partnered with Uthyr King in producing the Pendragon Anti-Virus and Ad-Block, currently the only software on the market that has proven unhackable for twenty years and counting!

(You know, unless you have the back door code to simply turn it off. Which Merlin and Uthyr of course do.)

Now that he’s starting to get older, he’s naturally turning his attention to the idea of neural imaging/uploading consciousness into computers. His attempts at designing androids to host these fully artificial brains haven’t panned out, technology hasn’t progressed enough to truly replicate the full human sensory experience, but in the meantime there’s no reason you couldn’t overwrite the cybernetic portion of someone with enough augmentation to host a personality imprint…

[halonicheart]

A girl named “Love”

Summary: Several times now did Lovette sneak away on chocobo back in the dead of night just to take a peak at Ishgard from a cliffside where one could it perfectly. On one fateful night, someone approaches her. Nearly made her jump out of her skin. Luck was on her side. It was a kindly knight that found her, simply inquiring about what it was that brought her here.

Takes place well before the events of ARR.

A/N: this piece was originally uploaded on Ao3 for wolchefant week, for the prompt “chivalry” but with the current situation I wanted to have it here as well for the future.

Perhaps it was the not so subtle desire to shirk his more tedious duties that led him out here. A few did try to stop him knowing full well any gentle chidings would fall on deaf ears. Once Lord Haurchefant has decided his paperwork can most certainly wait, it’s no pressing matter, then that was that. Those papers would be shoved into a drawer at random with little chance of being seen, at least by him, anytime soon. The Fury only knows what else was crumpled up in that desk of his. The man insists what he’s setting out to do is just as important as any old document needing to be signed for whatever reason. A dubious at best claim… regardless, not even his most trusted could convince him not to venture out to Providence Point in search of someone seen skulking around there.

Based on reports, it has only been a recent occurrence. This person was only ever spotted at night, always on the back of a chocobo white as the snow and wore a thick black cloak. No one has yet to glean just what was under the hood. At first some were concerned this person was a heretic, however after some careful observation, nothing seemed particularly out of the ordinary about them. Now the major concern was the safety of this person insisting on galloping around at night where dragons and bandits alike could catch them by surprise. It was this very night that the original plan was to send out just a couple of knights to track this person down and from a safe distance as to not startle them, speak in hopes of gaining some insight as to what was so fascinating about the spot they visited like clockwork.

That was when Lord Haurchefant seized the opportunity. “Just one man is more than enough, allow me to find our special guest!” An endearing term for someone who could still easily be a malcontent. He was no fool, he was well aware of any risks that could come with this, he just didn’t see a need to stoke the flames of worry. Thus were the events that led him to the rocky bed beside the cliff overlooking his home, Ishgard. He wasn’t entirely alone, there was his most noble of steeds Belladonna by his side. She was a feisty thing, didn't like others much. The chocobo gave a soft, displeased kweh, likely not too happy about being roused from her slumber only to be sitting in the cold. Haurchefant hushes her with a stroke of her feathers while he keeps his eyes scanning the expanse of Coerthas in hopes of catching the very moment his guest arrives.

Sure enough, not very long after, there they were on the back of a pure white chocobo. Belladonna seemed ready to pounce but otherwise remained in hiding. They both watched in silence as the person dismounted, strap still in hand and marched right to the very edge of the cliff. Haurchefant waited… and waited… and waited… nothing happened. They simply stood there, occasionally reaching out to pet their bird. ‘Curiouser and curiouser…’ He muses to himself. Lord Haurchefant gives Belladonna a pointed look, his way of telling her to behave, as he approaches the figure. Though their back was turned, cloak obscuring their figure, they could tell they were upset by the slump of their shoulders. “Terribly late for sightseeing!” The figure visibly jumps, adjusts their hood and turns towards him. “Not very safe either… just what brings you here?” He casts a quick look over the figure as well as their chocobo. There were no satchels to be seen, they traveled light it seemed. Something could still be hidden under the cloak.

The other person shifts awkwardly. “Well I just… I just wanted to…” Their chocobo, seemingly aware of their master’s nerves, softly chirps as if to comfort them. “... thank you Larkspur…” They whisper. “I simply wanted to see Ishgard… alas the weather has been turning that into a bit of a challenge.”

“You have gazed upon her several times now.” He keeps his tone even, friendly. “Enamored by her, are you?” So long as he played his cards right, Haurchefant may be able to get this stranger to tell him more than vague whims. Though the familiar huff of a certain bird rouses concern. Once more, he gives her a look. Belladonna does not make another noise, instead opting to ruffle her feathers.

The stranger plays with their hood. “Ah… well, that I have…”

Belladonna makes another annoyed huff, one her master promptly hushes. “Are you… perchance… from the area?” Halone guide his grip on this bird. He can feel her begin to fidget.

“... outskirts of Coerthas, sure… many moons ago… naught left but rubble…” An odd thing to share, he mentally notes. “My parents were from Ishgard you see! I never did get to see it myself, certainly can’t just waltz right in now!”

Several questions are now swimming in his mind, not a single one makes it past his lips. It seems his dearest Belladonna has had enough. She begins to wail and stamp her feet. Haurchefant tried his damnedest to keep her at bay, but alas she managed to shake free of his grip and bound towards the stranger. He rushes to her side, scolding her all the while. Where he expected to hear shrieks, cusses or worse… he was met instead with tender cooing. The stranger’s steed, Larkspur, was startled but remained vigil.

“Sweet thing!” The stranger strokes Belladonna’s beak. His steed ruffled her feathers in delight. “Did you just want some love now?” They giggle.

Lord Haurchefant was absolutely astounded by the sight before him. Belladonna, the feistiest Chocobo he has ever had to raise, barely liked another soul, didn’t even like his own father… seemed to be smitten with whoever this was. “She… she likes you!” He says with gaping eyes.

“I should hope so! Nearly sent me tumbling down the cliffside just to get my attention! It’s not very polite to bum rush a lady you know!” It was hardly a genuine scolding, not when the lady was cooing and kissing her beak. “No, no true harm done! Most you did was knock off my hood!”

Haurchefant makes a strangled noise. He was much too in shock over Belladonna to register that the mystery woman’s hood had most definitely flown off. She’s ghostly pale with makeup nearly as dark as her hair. Her eyes were a lovely lilac, he dreamily notes, they glittered like stars. Lord Haurchefant didn’t mean to stare, but there was just something about her he couldn’t quite place.

She takes notice of his gawking. The Elezen woman giggles again, making his heart swell, before she speaks. “Wyvern got your tongue?” She teases.

The man coughs. “Pardon me, my lady.” He takes a few steps closer. “I was merely taken off guard, you see, my Belladonna here… it is not often she takes so quickly to others-”

“Belladonna!” She claps her hands in excitement before going to pet her feathers again. “What a beautiful name for a beautiful girl!”

Haurchefant smiles pridefully. “Isn’t she just? Purebred Ishgardian black chocobo… and a most splendid steed.” At least when she behaves, charming as her attitude can be at times it does occasionally get in the way. He wouldn’t really have her any other way even with that in mind. “Raised her myself, even when my own family insisted she was beyond help… I saw otherwise…” She was faithful as she was fierce.

“You raised her well… clear as day for anyone familiar with chocobo.” She glances towards her very own. Larkspur chirps happily as if to agree. The woman turns back to cradle Belladonna’s head. “Sweet Bird~ What is your home like? Tell me!” She nearly sings.

Watching this woman fawn over his chocobo did strange things to him. Haurchefant felt terribly warm, his chest felt stuffy, heart pounding in his ears… ‘How strange.’ Never before had someone made him feel this way. Just what was he feeling exactly? He didn’t have a name for it. All that he knew was that he enjoyed this feeling, even if it was borderline smothering. “I could tell you…” He says a bit breathlessly.

The woman goes still, her expression unreadable for just a moment. She takes a tentative step closer, then another and another until she stands directly in front of him. “Would you…?” Her eyes shine brightly. “Tell me of Ishgard… Tell me of her tales!” Her voice was just a touch raspy, breathy even. “Please, Ser Knight!”

Haurchefant felt terribly giddy. He doesn’t quite feel like himself around this woman. He feels like a young boy again, skittish and eager. Clumsy. “Well what kind of chivalrous knight would I be to deny such a plea!” With a flourish, he bows. “My Lady I shall tell you her tales with only the most splendid of details!” He prattles on about her people, the sights, the history, even some of his favorite places. Haurchefant knows it must be a lot to take in with every tangent he goes on, yet this woman listens intently. Be it talk of the myriad of statues all throughout or of the tavern that was perhaps just a smidgen run down… she smiled wider and wider with every little thing he shared. “Should there ever come a day you get to walk her streets, I would be more than happy to show you around.” Haurchefant truly means it. He fears to admit if given the chance, he would whisk her away right this moment to do just that.

“Really!?” She grasped one of his hands in both of hers and clutched them to her chest. “Oh thank you! Thank you so much Ser Knight!” She was practically glowing with joy. Oh how his entire soul sings at the sight of her smiling. The poor fool was so enchanted by her that he bumbles out the very first thing that sprang to the forefront of his mind.

“Your eyes look just like starlight…” He says dreamily. “They’re beautiful! Simply splendid!” He wished to bite off his own tongue at the sound of her gasp.

“Just like starlight you say…” She tucks her hair behind her ear, her cheeks turned a sweet shade of pink. The woman stares at him quietly before she smiles shyly. “... the tips of your ears are red…”

Haurchefant sputters at the comment. Instinctively reaching for his ears and foolishly asking “Are they truly?” He chooses to ignore the judgemental squawk from Belladonna. The woman bursts into a fit of giggles. Though he had known her for only mere moments, he truly was smitten. She must have been sent to him by the Fury herself. Something much more grand and beyond his scope of understanding brought them together on this night.

“A most splendid shade of red~” She teases again. Her demeanor turns shy once more, chewing on her lip nervously. “Next we meet… would you tell me more about Ishgard?” As if she even had to ask. Haurchefant adored the idea of seeing her again, even more did he love how she spoke of their next meeting so definitively, like she wants to meet with him again. By the Fury, he hopes so.

The man bows once more, giving her a playful wink when he stands back upright. “Most certainly! A knight lives to serve, my Lady.”

She hides her mouth to stifle the laughter bubbling out of her throat. Haurchefant wished she didn’t. Her lips move, no words come out, rather she yelps when the sound of shouting reaches their ears.

“Love!”

“Oh gods!” The woman cusses under breath. “My deepest apologies but I really must be going now!” She hops onto Larkpur’s back, she’s chosen to side saddle for the sake of time though she needed to fix the skirt of her dress hiked up legs. “Thank you again Ser Knight!”

“It.. it was my pleasure but-” Haurchefant is unable to finish. The shouting continues, closer this time.

“Love! Where are you!?”

She cusses once more but laughs nonetheless. “Seems this bad girl has been caught…” She grins mischievously. “Until we meet again!” The grin doesn’t leave her lips when she rides off into the distance. Had she looked over her shoulder she would have seen him foolishly reach out as if that would actually slow her. Even when she was fully out of sight, the shouting came to a halt, he still stood there with an outstretched arm. His entire world was suddenly a shade of a pink. Nothing else mattered, not even when his Belladonna began to gently tug at his arm with her beak.

Love… that must have been her name. A girl named Love . Lord Haurchefant Greystone had fallen head over heels for a girl named Love… had he only remembered to give the girl his name. ‘No matter…I shall simply tell her next we meet.’ Only they did not meet again, not for some time. He came to that cliffside nearly every night in hopes of seeing her again, to no avail. No one else had seen her as well, it seems. It was as if she vanished entirely. Surely she was out there somewhere…

He ended up telling his family of this mystery woman named Love, waxed poetry about her more like. His father, though charmed by the prospect, was a bit reluctant to believe as much. His only comment was to exercise caution should he cross paths with her again. Artoirel had nothing to share, save for a particularly agitated groan when Emmanellian insisted she must be quite the beauty for him to fall in love at first sight. Haurchefant is quick to correct him, although stumbling over his own words. She was a gorgeous woman, sure, but it was more than that. It was the certainty in her stride as she marched to the very edge of the cliff. It was the way her eyes shined like stars. She wasn’t even afraid of Belladonna, who took to her in mere moments. Love at first sight wasn’t quite right, it was so much more than that. He just didn’t have the words to capture what it was.

He yearned, ached to see Love again. Even when those around him were convinced she would never show up, he still hoped, all the while still waxing poetics of her charm, effectively annoying anyone who had to suffer it more than once. His not so patient waiting paid off… many, many moons later. The doors to his garrison swung open and there she was, eyes wide with recognition and a letter in hand. “Lord Haurchefant.” The sound of his name on her lips made him swoon. She bows politely. “My name is Lovette Vairemont.”

It was almost comedic how several heads turned when she uttered her name. Haurchefant couldn’t help the boyish grin tugging at his lips. They thought she would never show, some even going as far as to state he merely made up this girl named something so romantic, yet here she was… in the flesh for everyone to see.

His Love had finally arrived at his door.

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: April 13th, 2021

And we’re back again with more replies so soon, haha. Thank you for the asks!

Your game literally saved me this hell ass year. Thank you so much for the most perfect piece of art I've ever laid eyes on 😫 ... Do you guys have a rough idea when step 3 DLC will be released? I hope I'm not coming off as rude. I just really really love your game.

I’m sorry for the late reply on this! You might’ve already seen the answer by now, but the Step 3 DLC is coming out on the 16th. We’re almost there :D

This may be a silly question but did Jeremy's parents ever find out that Pran had lied about his age and if so, when/how? :3

Pran came clean to them after a couple of years, when he felt secure enough that it wouldn’t ruin the relationship. The Kings were a little embarrassed, the dad more than the mom, but they’re quite good at brushing past those kind of mistakes so it was all water under the bridge pretty fast.

hi! i know you’ve answered a question about alterations in the our life moments by playing them in different orders, but i was wondering if there was a canon order that the moments for each step happen in? i figure with such a customizable game the “canon” timeline for the moments is whatever order the player completes them in, for example in step 1, i like playing the runaway moment pretty early, since cove trying to run away early in summer makes more sense to me personally. thanks!

Yeah, there’s no canon order we’d insist on. Whatever you like can be the official route for you! And that’s a neat way to look at that event.

What if your character isn’t that into physical contact but still wants to be in a relationship with Cove? Would he be offended if you shy away or something along those lines?

He wouldn’t be. Cove knows how hard that can be and is very understanding. If you set his initiative to low, the game always checks to make sure if you want to be touched or not rather than assuming that you do. And if you do choose that you don’t want to, there’s no stress or drama about it. Cove will just say that’s okay!

Hellu! First off, I want to thank you all for such a wonderful game, it's been the best feel-good game I've ever stumbled upon and I can't express enough how much it has meant to me. Second, I've seen lots of people having trouble with making Cove confess before MC which makes me wonder if people will have the same problem in the dlc when you can propose to him. Is it possible to post a guide for that as well when it no longer could count as a spoiler? Again, thanks for such a beautiful game <3

I’m really happy you had such a nice time with it c:. We’ll answer questions about it on tumblr/in the discord if they come up and, if need be, we’ll find somewhere to upload a guide.

Do we get steam key from buying dlc on itch io?

I’m afraid not. That’d be unfair to those who get it on Steam. Plus, Steam isn’t super cool with giving out thousands of keys to be handed out for free on other sites anymore. They can refuse to give us the keys if they feel we’re trying to take advantage of their system.

hi! so if we reject cove's confession in step 3, can we still have MC and cove get together in step 4?

You can confess to him, yeah. But Cove won’t ever try confessing again if the MC turns him down in Step 3.

What if MC acts like someone Cove doesn't like, like Lizzie or Baxter lol

You can’t do what Lizzie or Baxter does to make Cove dislike them. You can play the game and try, but it doesn’t work out. The MC is just too compatible with Cove if you’re fond/crush/love, haha.

Hi! I absolutely love your game, I love the characters they’re all so amazing, thank you for the game haha

I was wondering if you would get the NSFW DLC no matter what Patreon level you were at, or if you would could get it at any level? :)

&

What pateron tier do we need to get the 18+ content for Our Life? It's my new favourite game, keep up the good work!

It will eventually be available at the $5 tier and anything above that! Glad you both like OL ^^

On a scale from 1 (being the worst) to 10, how well do the XOXO jerk squad including JB handle horror?

JB: 8

Everett: 5

Nate: 4

Shiloh: 10

Bae: 10

Jeremy: 8 for non-gore horror, 2 for gory horror

Pran: 9

hello!! i was wondering if any of the boys from the Jerksquad would ever wear a skirt/dress?

None of them wear skirts/dresses out of personal preference. But if there was some kind of reason where they had to do it, none would be that bothered.

How does the jerk squad feel about Christmas? 

Everett: He fucking loves it. That’s the best time of year.

Nate: Commercialized nonsense.

Shiloh: It’s wonderful! So he claims.

Bae: He likes it quite a bit, but only for the joy it brings children/family. He thinks that’s sweet but is too mature to be whipped up into a festive fervor himself.

Jeremy: It’s awful.

Pran: He hates it.

does cove have any pet allergies? yes I know this is a little weirdly specific

He doesn’t! The lucky boy isn’t allergic to any animal.

Very important question: Would Lee and a musical-theatre loving MC run around belting Into The Unknown from Frozen 2? Because I feel that they would 

Probably, haha.

This might seem like a dumb question, so I’m sorry, but with the Derek DLC are we gonna get to hang out with him in person instead of just calling him in step 3? 

The Derek DLC adds events in Step 2 and Step 4. It’s part of his story that you don’t really get to be around him in Step 3. But you don’t need to apologize for wondering!

hello! i'd like to ask if it's possible to play the android version of the game with the dlcs after buying the dlcs from steam. i wasn't expecting my android version to have my dlcs since i bought them from steam, but it had my step 2 dlc for some reason. is this a glitch or does the apk actually detect what dlcs you already have on your pc? if so, how come i don't have the step 1 dlc appearing on android? thanks!

That is some kind of glitch. It isn’t possible for the Android DLCs to be unlocked by having them on PC. Maybe in one of the old builds we accidentally didn’t lock the Step 2 DLC properly. Sorry for the confusion!

Does Derek and Baxter have canon sexualities? Will Derek still flirts with the MC regardless of their gender?

They’re both pansexual and can like the MC regardless of what gender they have.

I was wondering if Miranda had a crush on Cove in Step 3? I'm not sure why, but I got those vibes from her?

She thinks of him only as a friend. Cove isn’t her type, haha.

This is probably a dumb hope, but I hope Cliff find someone he loves after Cove is grown up and everything. Or at the very least he has someone he's very close with after Cove leaves. 

That’s a really sweet thought to have. Cliff stays single, but he’s graysexual and not-particularly romantically inclined. He only dated when he was really young ‘cause that’s what everyone did. Family and friend relationships are more important to him, and he has plenty of that in his life ^^.

Heya! I was curious if there might be a nickname system in N&F? I kind of pull an Elizabeth when I play and choose a different variation of a name like having Rosie in step one and changing it to Rose in step two, then maybe Rosetta in step three for example, but it also feels a little bit odd being scolded using my nickname hehe. That's all I was wondering about, thank you for your time and the wonderful games!

We are hoping to include the option to go by a nickname in Our Life: Now & Forever. But nothing has been programmed yet, so we can’t 100% guarantee it, haha.

Just curious, what would Liz's and Cove's relationship be if MC wasn't around? I feel like they wouldn't get along as well as they do now, especially during the first and second step 

They’d definitely have a lot of friction growing up and they’d likely avoid each other as much as possible. Once they were both older, I imagine they’d be decent neighbor acquaintances. But they still wouldn’t be nearly as close as they are with the MC bringing Cove into things.

What do the customizable eyes look like in the game? Do they look as they are in the creating avatar section? Or do they look different when actually playing the game?

That’s up to you! The doll is just meant to be a general idea. You can apply it to your imagined MC as much or as little as you prefer.

Did Cove go through a "phase" during his adolescence? I don't really wanna headcanon it so I wonder if there's anything (cringy) canon since we missed out on the ages of 14-17 hahaha

Not really, aha. 14-17 Cove is pretty recognizable to his 13 and 18 year old self.

Hello! I'm sorry to bother you, especially with all the messages you get. I was just wondering if the religious wedding venue was exclusive to a church or if there will be different religions of weddings? Also, I love this VN so much, it's so well written and every character is so amazing, thank you for making such a beautiful game.

The church is treated as a historic building rather than anything actively religious, but it’s not the only option like that. There’s a historic synagogue and stuff too! And that’s really nice of you to say <3.

How differently would it play out If MC told their moms about the 20$ deal back when it happened? 

They wouldn’t have been happy and would’ve been far more skeptical of Cliff, aha. But they wouldn’t want to keep Cove away from the MC, so it wouldn’t have been too different in the long run.  

Hello may I ask what Cove's favorite fudge/ice cream flavor would be? Its alright if its not answered 

He appreciates them all, but his top favorites would be the fruit flavored ones and the ones with nuts.

Hi! I really wanted to make mc's house in a game and tried really hard to figure out the floor plan, but I wondered if you have the floor plan of the mc's house so that i can try again with more accuracy?

Thank you a lot for this game, i loved it a lot! (my first play took me 8 hours lol)

I’m really sorry, we don’t have anything like that. But at least you can headcanon that what you did is correct and nothing can prove it wrong, haha.

Hello,I recently started playing lake of voices (I put it off for a long while since I’m usually not very good with horror) and I’m really happy I did!I’m a big fan of your games in general and lake of voices was absolutely great as well.I loved the characters and the dark setting of it,I adored the beautiful art and music and the story was great too,sometimes unsettling and sometimes very sweet.My favorite Route in the game was definitely Lu,I liked his character and was really shocked and distraught by his Route at least two times.I didn’t see the plot twist(s) coming at all!

Besides these ramblings I’ve also wanted to ask if you still remember how to get the lower two CGs on page 5?I seem to always miss them and would appreciate any help.Anyways I hope I wasn’t too much of a bother and I wish the devs a great day!:)

Thank you for all the kind words <3. You get those DLCs by going through the end of the Guide’s character path. You can use the guides on Steam to help you find it/reach the end!

—– —– —– —–

Thank you again for all of these questions :D

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[aeonmagnus]

Happy 20th Anniversary Robots In Disguise!

This year, and today in particular, marks the 20-year anniversary of Transformers Robots in Disguise airing in the United States.  This was the official English language dub of the Japanese show Transformers Car Robots, which aired in Japan the year before.   This show and it’s accompanying toy line were a big shift in the Transformers brand and affected how things moved forward in the new millennium.  It was also a big influence on me and this website in it’s early years, so both the brand and TFW2005 may not be what it is today without it.

We hope you will read on after the break to check out our celebration of Robots in Disguise on it’s 20th!

Intro

The following is not a comprehensive article on the show proper, but rather a trip down memory lane from my personal perspective.  It was a period of change in my life, in the fandom, in the brand, and in the world – all happening at once.  Robots in Disguise was smack dab in the middle of it all and I think that’s why it still resonates with me all these years later.  For a deeper dive into the world of Robots In Disguise you can check RIDForever.info, a site I maintain just about RID and Car Robots. The 2021 updates are here, and the 2017 round of updates are here.  I’d also suggest checking the TFWe issue all about RID over on the 2005 Boards.  Now, onto today’s festivities…

The Show

RID, and yes I say RID as if it is the only RID.  If you must reference that other RID show and it’s off-shoots, refer to it as RID 201x, thanks. 😊 RID aired during the Fox Kids programming block on a Saturday morning, with additional episodes set to air each weekday during the afternoon hours.  Instead of stretching the show out over the course of 30+ weeks with only a new ep each weekend, they were going to blaze through it non-stop.  By the end of the first week, we would have been 7 eps in.  That however hit a big roadblock due to 9/11 just three days later.  While some local markets did air the episodes, many larger city networks, and especially east coast markets, stuck with news coverage.   Many of us did not catch the early episodes on TV the first go around.  In addition, several of the episodes got pulled from TV due to depictions of buildings being destroyed and other similar visuals which understandably could upset children that just experienced 9/11.  So right off the bat, the new millennium and new era of Transformers were dealing with a new reality.

The show, for those that don’t know – was a weird one-off in Transformers history.  We had G1 and then the G2 remixes for a bit.  Beast Wars came on the scene and ran all the way through 2000 with it’s successor – Beast Machines.   During the Beast Wars era – Japan did a couple of their own Beast Wars shows, non-CGI extensions of what we saw in the US.   Their market wasn’t quite ready for full CGI so they stuck with traditional anime.  When Hasbro decided to continue Beast Wars into Beast Machines, Takara went a completely different way – a traditional animated show which brought back Autobots and “Decepticons”, mixing them in with the beasts.  They focused the toys on a couple new and complex molds, then filled the rest of the line with repaints of previous toys.  Old 2nd tier Beast Wars toys, G2 Laser Prime, and even some Generation 1 molds in the form of the Combaticons got new life as new characters in this show, capped with the biggest TF of them all at the time – a repainted G1 Fortress Maximus, now Brave Maximus.  It was the prototype for what the Transformers brand did for years to come – repainting old toys into new characters.  Universe, Classics, Botcon, and even some Generations runs used this method to give us some great toys in the 00s.

While there is a very complicated and long explanation for how every single Japanese show is one continuity, to someone casually starting with Car Robots it was a refresh, a new story, a new arrival on Earth.  The Autobots vs the Predacons, and eventually the Combatrons/Decepticons. It was a hard cut from the last 5 years or so of CGI Beasts.  Hand drawn traditional animation featuring vehicle Transformers.  It wasn’t G1, but many of the folks who grew up with G1 were just getting out of college around this time.  They were rediscovering their childhood love of Transformers through Beast Wars, flea market finds, raids on their parents’ attics and basements, and for the internet savvy – imports of Japanese reissues from Takara.  It was a perfect storm of nostalgia; a return to Autobots and Decepticons was welcomed by kids and adults alike.

RID and TFW2005

In the years leading up to Car Robots, I was just getting into the internet, coding, design, some digital music, and all the possibility that came with it.  Beast Wars, especially when it hit Season 2/3 and the inclusion of G1 lore, really got me focusing on Transformers again as a hobby.  I eventually combined the two newfound hobbies into one and Transformer World 2005 was born.  At no point did I ever think it would last 20+ years and take over my life in the way it did.  I started the full version of TFW2005 around April 2000, with some starts and stops before that.  That was right around when Car Robots started airing in Japan.  Through the magic of 56k internet, I was able to connect with folks in Japan and get them to send me VHS tapes of Car Robots.  Really nice, high-quality tapes too, I still have them hehe.  To the younglings reading – try to picture this: no youtube, no video sharing. The concept of streaming anything did not exist yet. Napster and the eventual peer to peer stuff hadn’t fully kicked off.  Plus, we were all viewing the internet on giant computers in our rooms at the speed of 1x on your phone.  Less than 1 bar 3G mobile speeds today.

Yes, someone recorded episodes from TV to video tape over there, did that a couple weeks at a time, then physically mailed them across the world to me, who then got them on the internet.  Can you imagine waiting weeks to watch an episode of TV the size of a twitter profile avatar?  Crazy.  Uploading a full episode to the internet was a big pain in the ass, not easily done.  I decided to get a converter that allowed me to plug my VCR into the computer and encode the tape into digital format.  From there, it was reduced using Microsoft’s WMV technology so that the episodes were about 5 MB each.  30 minute episodes at 5MB each. Dimensions – 176 x 144 pixels.  4k video today – 3840 x 2160 pixels.  You can imagine that video looked like crap.  But we didn’t care – we were blown away.  Old school animation, vehicles, some cool Japanese anime vibes, it was what we as G1 fans kinda had in the back of our heads on what Transformers should be in a new era, and we were seeing it.  Most of us had no clue what they were saying or what was going on.  Also didn’t care.  I still to this day think CR/RID is better like that.

So one of the first things TFW2005 did on the internet was provide these super small windows into Car Robots and what was going on in Japan. It helped get US fans hyped up for what Transformers could be. It got us wanting the toys, and importers bringing the Takara toy line over were moving serious product.  It helped swing Hasbro, who was planning to return to Autobots and Decepticons again down the road, to move that schedule up.  Instead of running Beast Machines until 2002 and then starting what we now know as the Unicron Trilogy, it was cut short.  Robots in Disguise as a toy line and show came over in 2001, ran fast and hard for a year with non stop releases, got extended because it did so well, and then faded into the Universe line of repaints.  The new millennium of Transformers was here and Robot In Disguise kicked it off with a bang.

Wrap Up

As we all continue with collecting Transformers now, regardless if you tagged into the fandom during G1, Beasties, the Unicron Trilogy, the Movies, or just yesterday – let’s take the time to give Car Robots and RID some props!  It set the tone for what the new millennium of the brand would be.  It gave us some toys ahead of their time.  It solidified the repaint as an accepted thing in the hobby. And it gave us one crazy 39 episode run of TV that’s still a fun ride 20 years later.

For those that would like to learn more about RID and Car Robots – I still maintain a Robots in Disguise website that archives everything I have or came across.  There is a lot there if you want to go on a tour of all the awesome Car Robots and Robots In Disguise era stuff.  Check it out at RIDFOREVER.INFO! FIYAH!

Let us know what you think and remember from the good old days of RID on the 2005 Boards here!

Epilogue

If someone over there at Hasbro is reading – can someone please figure out who owns the rights to the show in the US market and then get it out on DVD in full, finally?  Work all that funky licensing stuff out (if there is any) and get it done.  The US has never had access to it via an official release.  Maybe get it up on YouTube like G1?  Something.  Announcing plans for that before the end of 2021 would be a nice 20th anniversary tribute.

[nerds-escape]

Hi I am now in an anti-Snape mood so...here we go.

Quick preface before we begin: I will be talking about abuse and some other topics, I’ll put trigger warnings at the beginning of everything

NOTE: This is based off my experience as a person who was abused by both friends and family as well as a disabled person and a person who has been sexually harassed and something I don’t even know the term for it was somewhere in between sexual harassment and sexual assault.

“He was Abused as a Child”

TW: Abuse

I know it’s mentioned a lot but just because Snape was abused doesn’t mean he was destined to be a bad person, in fact, when someone says that, it makes it a lot harder for people to come to terms with what has happened. As a person who was manipulated and belittled my entire life I would like to say: I have been told I am a good person so I think I’m a good person, really it’s kind of subjective. But if you want to know some things so you can judge for yourself (a lot of these things had to be put on hold because of the pandemic which is why I’m using past tense):

I taught mentally and physically disabled kids how to swim

I had good grades

I work four jobs so I can pay to go to Uni

I have a hard time setting boundaries which means whenever someone ask me to do something, I do it out of fear of disappointing them (not a good thing but a thing none the less)

I was captain of the swim team

I was in a club that the soul purpose was to raise money for a children’s hospital

I spend a lot of my time volunteering

I know this sounds like I’m patting my own back but I just want you to understand who I am as a person. I like to think I’m a good person but it’s up to you if you believe that or not.

I have lost my autonomy due to my trauma. Every other word coming out of my mouth is sorry because I have been trained to believe everything is my fault. It took me years of therapy and talking with friends to figure that out.

The other day I asked my coworker if I could go to the bathroom because everything in my life I have had to tiptoe around and get express permission on including going to the restroom at times.

Obviously everyone reacts to abuse and trauma differently but having a villain and saying that they are bad because of the abuse they faced is just not it.

Source:

I don’t really know why you need sources on my abuse but here are some sources on trauma and how it can effect kids

https://www.ptsd.va.gov/understand/isitptsd/common_reactions.asp

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK207191/

https://www.kempe.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/The_Battered_Child_Syndrome.pdf

“The Marauders Sexually Assaulted/Harassed Snape”

TW: sexual assault/harassment

AMAB sexual assault and harassment is a real thing that needs to be talked about more, and something that shouldn’t be used to win an argument.

Snape Stans can’t seem to decide if this is sexual assault or sexual harassment. At most it is sexual harassment, this isn’t to say that sexual harassment is something to scoff at, this is to ask: pick one because saying these two are the same things is wildly misleading so stop using these words interchangeably.

Stop using male victims and survivors as trophies for your arguments. Did you know that 1 out of every 10 rape survivors are men? This is a real issue so don’t use it as a defense because guess what? It also makes makes men of sexual abuse seem like they are villains. 

Pantsing was just a thing that happened when I was in grade school. Does that make it okay? No. But pantsing is mainly considered “schoolyard fun” especially when it’s between two people of the same sex. Again. Does this make it okay? No. Do I believe what James did was okay? No. But you can not tell me that if you got pantsed and your best friend was there to comfort you, would you call them a slur? I wouldn’t.

Sources: https://wlv.openrepository.com/bitstream/handle/2436/96284/Duncan_PhDthesis.pdf?sequence=2&isAllowed=y

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantsing

Yes I am using Wikipedia as a source because they have some good sources attached.

“He was Abused by Muggles and that’s why he Hated Them”

Okay and? He knew good muggles. I was abused by men. Does that mean I want all men dead? No. I have been abused by women. Does that mean I want all women dead? No! I could go on for a while of people who have abused me and I can tell you right now I don’t want any of those groups of people dead because guess what: those groups did nothing.

“Sirius Tried to Kill Him”

Yeah, no.

Nobody forced Snape to go there. Was it fucked up for Sirius to do that? Yeah. Like really fucked up but Snape didn’t have to go. He knew what he was getting himself into. He suspected Lupin to be a werewolf. He didn’t have to go to the shrieking shack.

I genuinely don’t think that Sirius thought this one through. To him Moony wasn’t a vicious creature, he had fun playing with Padfoot and he never hurt Padfoot so to Sirius it didn’t even cross his mind that he might be putting Snape in a dangerous situation.

That’s one theory, there are many theories and we don’t know why Sirius did it all we know is that Prongs saved Snape’s life. And Snape hated James for that. Which to be fair if someone saved my life I would probably be pissed off too but that’s besides the point.

“Snape Loved Lily”

No. Snape has the same energy as the guy who I blocked on Instagram after I repeatedly told him to stop something and then made four accounts just to keep texting me and went as far as to find and harass my friends. Same Energy.

“Their patroni match UwU” shut up. No. James’s patronus was a stag a stags mate is a doe, Lily’s was a doe. Snape’s was a doe as well. Now listen I’m down for two dope ass lesbian does but as we know because J*R that was not the case. That was an obsession. If you think that’s what love it like you are going to have very toxic relationships in your life and quite honestly lowkey concerned for you and/or your future, current, and/or past partners.

“He’s a good teacher he was keeping up the act”

No! Teachers abusing students is a real thing, what’s ever worse (as if that’s already bad enough) school was Harry’s safe haven. Now you could say the same for Snape, sure but Snape could defend himself against the Marauders. Choose your fighter: Eleven year old Harry who just learned that magic was a thing and that his parents didn’t die in a car crash vs Thirty-One year old Snape, a teacher. Let me tell you as a person who was bullied by her peers, when my sixth grade math teacher called me stupid, it had a lot greater of an impact than a student pushing me into the lockers.

Teachers are supposed to teach regardless of if they want to fuck your mom or not. It wasn’t only Harry that he was terrible to either.

Also see this entire article to disprove your point:

https://www.learningforjustice.org/magazine/fall-2014/abuse-of-power

Sources:

https://isiarticles.com/bundles/Article/pre/pdf/130622.pdf

Also refer to the article above as well.

I am done with my source arguments here is just a fun tidbit

My abusers favorite character is Snape and and he said he fully understands Snape...

Anyways I will be sending this to all people who try to argue with me about Snape.

[13atoms]

Deep Focus: Chapter 1 [Tom Hiddleston x Reader]

Summary: Tom’s a successful porn director with a romantic streak which proves very popular with his female audience. His resident porn actress and business partner has been with him through thick and thin, the two of them growing completely inseparable, even as her own career starts taking off.

But working in such close proximity is intense, and burgeoning feelings threaten to complicate their professional relationship.

Mature, smut, porn director!AU, ethical porn production discussion, porn-star-and-coworker!reader. Friends to lovers, slow-ish burn. [7.7k]

________________________________________________________

There was such a style to everything Tom wrote, everything he directed. A sincere passion that you suspected was always meant to be used elsewhere. You wondered if his craftsmanship was ever appreciated, on the other side of the screen, as strangers got hot and bothered watching each meticulously designed frame of his vision come to life.

Sure, it was porn. But Tom directed it like he could win an Oscar for ‘hot lifeguard pounded poolside’. This was his livelihood, his passion, and it was a damn shame he wasn’t award-season eligible.

The names would make you wince, as you saw them uploaded to the site, thumbnails and previews drawing in viewers by the million with their shots of heaving bodies and glistening sweat. Tom never called the videos such crass things. Not in his scripts. You would get copies titled ‘Romantic Night In’ or ‘Office Love Affair.’ He was a fan of sugar-coating what would be inside those innocuous white pages, a veneer of respectability which Tom insisted upon, regardless of how obvious the true nature of the videos was. But once the videos were sold, it was out of his hands. Your face contorted mid-faux-orgasm would be plastered across the site, and everyone involved would try and forget what happened.

Ignore the comments.

Keep moving.

You often wondered how Tom wound up in this place, with his sharply tailored suits and polished shoes, eloquent and educated, his words almost poetic as he directed mid-budget porn in hotel rooms and his studio day-in, day-out.

Then again, he never seemed particularly bothered by it. He gave each shoot his full attention, his full boundless enthusiasm and all the professionalism he could muster. You wondered how he balanced it, sometimes, the creative drive to press on with trying to be creative and shoehorn romance into films knowing that, ultimately, it was porn.

He had interviewed you like a real director might, talking about your life and experience and ambitions, almost apologetic when he had finally choked out ‘could you undress’, barely glancing at your naked form before he hired you as his first employee.

You asked him early on, while watching him try and assemble a fake restaurant-date set in the studio, complete with faux windows and an extra playing a waiter, why he bothered when three-minutes of good quality fucking footage would make him the same amount of money. He’d given you a strange smile, the wrinkles beginning to appear at the corners of his eyes, and shrugged.

“I make what I’d like to see.”

The words haunted you later, as your rather attractive co-star bent you over the white-cloth covered dining table and you allowed mewls and groans to escape your mouth without a second thought. Trying to avoid the muted blue of Tom’s eyes behind the cameraman.

Despite your reservations when you first started to work for him, Tom had won you over. His gentler, more romantic approach to pornography had a loyal following. Both of your pseudonyms garnered huge numbers of views across various platforms, and Tom was keen to cultivate a collection of female-friendly porn. Against all the odds, it was working.

And you loved working with him. He was a great director, and inspired writer, and a genuinely brilliant boss. He made sure you saw royalties, good pay, that everyone you worked with was screened and tested, always keeping you safe. Always.

Each time he called a wrap, passing you a robe and offering a meek congratulations on your performance, you found yourself more and more pleased you had wound up working with him.

“You really do have a talent,” he’d told you one day, distracting you as you discussed a new script in his office.

You were sat opposite him, Tom’s glasses perched on his head as he watched you read, your feet resting against the leg of his desk. You’d come in to your shared workspace to try some costumes out, to discuss new scenes, still recovering from a thoroughly exhausting shoot the day before. There were still light bruises around your wrists, and you caught Tom glancing at them worriedly each time your long-sleeved shirt slipped.

“I love that you’re such an actor,” he continued, hands tapping the desk as he spoke, “like, a real actor.”

Your eyes drifted across the script, scanning it with your bottom lip between your teeth. He always appreciated your input, wanting the ‘female fantasy’ in a lot of his work, and he’d timidly shown you some ‘student-professor’ script he’d been working on. He was like that, embarrassed in a way which you wouldn’t expect from a man with his considerable experience in adult entertainment. He was assertive, certain, even stern where it counted. But with just the two of you together, dancing around what was sexy and what wasn’t, he seemed desperate to avoid saying anything you might perceive as too ‘crude’.

“What do you mean?” you’d chuckled, still flicking through the first draft.

He only entrusted you with such early versions of his work – but that made sense. Your careers were symbiotic, tied to one another with an unspoken pact. He directed everything you were in, and you were in everything he directed.

It made sense.

“You don’t just… I don’t know. You never make my scripts seem silly. Or cheesy. You… you really try and make them feel real. I could write anything, and you’ll deliver the lines well. I was overseeing auditions earlier and... I just kept thinking none of them were you. I think you might be the best in the business.”

You rolled your eyes, offering him a disbelieving smirk, and he scoffed.

“I’m serious! I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

The weight of his words settled heavy in your chest, and you turned back to the script, frowning as you flicked through the loose-leaf pages. Tom fidgeted behind his desk, unhappy with losing your attention, but you ignored him.

“Here. If you want the fantasy to be believable, I think he needs to lock the office door. Make a show of it, you know. Cover my mouth,” you comment dismissively. Tom already has as pen in his hand, making notes. “It could be hot, maybe ‘Don’t make a sound or you can’t cum’, something like that. As if there’s other students in the corridor outside.”

Nodding, Tom dutifully wrote down your words, mouth slightly open in realisation as he listened.

“Don’t make a sound…” Tom repeated, and you felt yourself blush.

“Not… not that exactly,” you backtracked, “you’re the real writer! I just think, there needs to be some build up. A remind of the power dynamic. Him going straight to oral is a bit… fast. That could happen in any old plot, you know?”

You felt his eyes on you, looking up from the paper to spot Tom leaning back in his chair, a distant smile on his face.

“You really are the best,” he praised, “that’s great. I’ll do rewrites tonight.”

For a moment, you let his words hang heavy in the air. Then you blinked back at him, a slight frown pinching your forehead at his strange mood. He was calm, for once. Tom was usually a ball of enthusiasm, and you wondered if your dismissal of his words earlier had done something to hamper his spirit.

“It’s always easier to critique,” you dismissed, “I love the script, it’s great. I really think it’ll be good. Hot. Maybe I can wear a Britneyschool girl costume, or something?”

He frowned a little, pinching the bridge of his nose at the thought.

“No, weird. We’re going for University student, just… a nice pair of jeans or something.”

“Don’t they wear suits where you went, posh boy?” you teased, loving how it riled him up. “I’ll try and dress like a smart person.”

“You are smart, don’t give me that.”

You rolled your eyes, loving how you managed to fluster him, putting the script back on his cluttered desk as you reached for your bag. This was how your meetings always went, a few hours of notes, some teasing, and a hasty retreat once Tom told you the next shoot day you had to attend. You still had a few hours of social media to do for the last video you’d shot together, notes from Tom, and you lamented the sight of the sun setting outside of your shared office. You’d hoped for at least a bit of natural light today.

“I’m serious, you are!” Tom asserted, and you ignored him purposely as you shut down your laptop, preparing to take it home.

“Yeah, I know, whatever. Don’t work too late!”

“Rich coming from you,” he sighed, “it really doesn’t matter if we send that last edit late.”

“It matters to me! I’d quite like to get paid this week, you know?”

Tom sighed. The two of you tried to produce a couple of videos a week – one for Tom’s site and another to sell to a third party. It didn’t leave either of you with much free time, both of you left in the tiny office at all hours as you worked to keep up with demand.

“Very true. But I’d rather you got some sleep, you know I can help if you’re short on money,” he offered, shuffling papers on his own desk.

He was always quick to jump to an offer to help, and you tried to ignore the fondness spreading through your chest at his eagerness to look out for you. That gentle protectiveness which coursed through Tom was enough to make you melt.

He was one in a million, that was for sure.

“I’m fine, Tom. Thank you though, I’ll ask, if, y’know –”

“Do! Any time. Actually…”

Tom cut himself off, typing something into his phone, and your pocket buzzed with a notification.

“Get yourself a nice dinner.”

You checked your phone to see a transfer from Tom. It wasn’t a crazy amount, but too much for just dinner, and you huffed performatively as he grinned at you.

“No! Don’t be ridiculous –”

He barely made more than you, and you were certainly doing perfectly comfortably.

“Royalties are really good this month. That old break-up sex video is trending again, apparently.”

You smothered a smile. It was hate-fucking, as you’d told Tom a hundred times. That was the title. You could still remember the look on his face the day you’d filmed it, his twitchiness, the unknown male actor who had slightly scared both of you with his sheer size as he stepped into the studio. The male star had fucked you like you’d broken his heart, hands on your neck and hips bruising yours as he pounded into you, and you’d be a little alarmed at how little you had needed to act in his domineering presence. He’d been muscular and tall and assertive, almost injuring you with his enthusiasm, and the shoot had ended with you a sweaty mess, struggling to walk, eyes watery.

You had ached from the moment Tom helped you up from the bed, a protective body between you and your costar as you watched the man collect his clothes and his paycheck. The footage had been great, you’d watched Tom edit it, but it had been your first taste of Tom’s protectiveness. The actor had never returned, and Tom had bought a hot water bottle for the office, pressing it into your lap as he brought tea for the pair of you, loathing how you winced as you moved.

He’d taken you out for dinner that night to celebrate a good edit, but you knew the real reason. That neither of you wanted the other to be alone. It had been a lovely evening, a restaurant then a bar, without a break in laughing conversation the entire night. It hadn’t been a date, but if it had been a date, it would’ve been the nicest date you’d ever been on. In those moments, you wondered if Tom was really cut out for the industry. If you were.

As much as Tom hated the film, it was hot. It had propelled your studio into the spotlight, and it paid a significant chunk of your rent.

“Thank you,” you smiled to him, wracking your mind for anything else that needed discussing before you headed home.

Maybe you’d get takeaway. That would be nice.

Tom cleared his throat.

“What are we shooting tomorrow, by the way?”

You looked up at his words, frowning a little at the realisation you hadn’t been given a script yet. It was unlike him, to be so unprepared. Usually everything was organised weeks in advance. With a glance at the shadows under his eyes, you decided not to tease him about it.

“We’re shooting tomorrow?”

“This week… we’ve only got one video. I was just thinking something simple, I haven’t called a costar yet, but we don’t have to if you don’t want to –”

It was your paycheck on the line as much as Tom’s, and you wondered how the hell you’d forgotten.

“Do we have a camera crew?” you frowned.

“No, not yet. I can call though. Or I could just do it myself, if we’re not doing anything too complicated?”

You thought for a moment, leaning against the open doorframe as Tom started to pack up his own desk, nimble fingers tapping across his keyboard.

“Solo?” you suggested, stifling a laugh as Tom blinked and tilted his head to face you.

“I missed that, love?”

“Solo. Like ‘hot female solo’ or something?”

He smiled slightly, closing his laptop lid.

“That’ll do well, I’m sure. Do we need anything costume-wise? Props?”

Toys. He meant toys. You smiled at his refusal to call a spade a damn spade.

“I’m sure we can find everything here. It’ll be nice to do a simple shoot for a change,” you enthused, holding the door for Tom as he moved to turn off the lights, lingering nearby as he locked up the office.

“Yeah. Single-shot, no camera-man either.”

“Cheap,” you sighed, as though it was the sexiest thing in the world.

You did the books, and avoiding having any more costs this month sounded great.

“Yeah,” Tom smiled, falling into step beside you as the two of you left the warehouse studio.

He looked ready to say something else, but changed his mind. For a second the two you stood by the exit, words trapped beneath your closed lips as the early evening air enveloped you.

“Do you need a lift home?” Tom finally offered.

“No. No, I’m good. Thank you.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, yeah. Usual time. Twelve?”

“Perfect.”

He reached an arm out, ready for you to walk into his embrace, and you froze. The moment was over as soon as it started, his arm retracted, and you could only stare. His hand found the curls at the back of his head, scratching there, a blush dusting his cheeks in the harsh fluorescent lights of the car park. You could kick yourself as you watched the bob of his Adam’s apple, the clench of his jaw. He felt awkward. You contemplated hugging him, but the moment had passed. Instead you rocked on your heels for a second, before turning to leave.

“Bye, Tom!”

“‘Night! Look after yourself, don’t forget dinner. I’ll see you – ”

He cut himself off as you walked too far away, and you could have kicked yourself for the sadness in his final syllable. You sighed as your feet fell against the pavement, your whole walk home haunted by the awkward shuffle of Tom’s hands as he went to hug you goodbye.

*

You were surprised by how difficult it was to brush off that awkward memory. As you ordered and ate dinner, you were reminded of Tom with every bite, that he’d snuck aside part of the company’s petty cash budget to give you dinner. That both of you had gone home, separately, to separate empty houses and empty beds.

Had he wanted to go for drinks? Wanted company? You had come to accept a long time ago that the man was your closest friend. He would be the person you called in an emergency, a shoulder to cry on. You liked to think he’d lean on you the same way.

Despite that, you spent limited time together outside of a professional context. You never met up on weekends, or casually called. Of course you didn’t. He made a career out of seeing you naked, watching you fake orgasms for other men. As you readied yourself for the day, you reminded yourself that of course, he would be nice to his only full-time, very lucrative actress. To his business partner.

As you’d queued up the company’s social media posts the night before, you could only think of Tom behind the camera, orchestrating each photo and clip you uploaded.

You couldn’t help the grin which split your face as you walked into the studio, bag flung over your shoulder, overpacked with everything you thought you could possibly need. Tom greeted you, emerging from his office with a smile.

Before you could overthink it, you walked into his arms, giving him very little choice in the matter as you greeted him with a hug. In his surprise you felt his body stiffen, his arms slowly wrapping around you, and you were momentarily gobsmacked by the muscular form he seemed to hide behind those suits.

He was a little more dressed down today, smart black jeans and a button-up white shirt, unruly hair sticking up like it did when he forgot to brush it. He looked better than yesterday, like he’d had a good night’s sleep.

“Good morning,” he chuckled, bemusement clear in his voice.

You pulled back from the hug, a little embarrassed at the affection until you saw the smile stretching across his face, reaching his eyes. Suddenly the previous night, worrying you had inadvertently rejected him, seemed to be erased.

“Morning! What have you got for me?”

The studio space was cleaned, but empty. The camera stood in the corner as Tom lead you further into the room, his office door open to the side of it, and you frowned at the emptiness of the space.

There were tape marks on the floor where sets were usually assembled, conspicuous without the usual hive of activity buzzing around some piece of furniture you would be thrown onto or fucked against. There was nothing.

“I didn’t know what you wanted to do,” Tom was saying, his gentle voice booming in the empty space, “we don’t have a script or anything so… I’ll leave it to you.”

You bit your lip.

It was more freedom than you were used to, less direction, less to build the fantasy where you could forget you were ultimately in a warehouse with just your business partner. It was… nothing. Tom said your name quietly, and you nodded, stepping back to assess the space.

“I’m just thinking,” you reassured him.

Had the studio always been this quiet? You tried to remember a shoot day where it had been this silent, this calm, without the stress of lighting people or cameramen or scripts being thrown around. You could hear every step Tom took as he walked towards the camera, the wheel-mounted tripod creaking as he moved it across the floor, checking batteries and SD cards while you stood in place, your bag still hanging from one shoulder.

Noticing your frozen stance Tom frowned across at you, nothing but gentle concern in his blue eyes and the fine lines around them.

“I was thinking something kind of minimal, maybe cosy?” he offered, “Maybe an armchair? Something like that?”

You thought about it for a moment, crossing to the corner of the room to finally set down your bag.

He was finally getting into ‘director mode’, growing more energetic by the second.

“I’m thinking we just frame it on you, no distraction. Single take, if we can.”

You nodded silently as he crossed to the storage cupboard he’s overeagerly labelled a ‘props department’. It was stacked high with fabric and furniture and lingerie, tubs of various exotic sex toys near the door. Tom stepped straight past them.

There was a mattress in the props room, materials to build a bed, and you pondered on the idea for a moment.

“We could keep it really simple, maybe?” you suggested, “Find a warm background. Or just use white. Try and get one twenty minute shot, or something.”

You reached for lube without thought, collecting the near-empty bottle of body oil beside it too, as you perused the options in front of you.

“Remind me to buy more of that,” Tom mused, sparing a glance to the bottles in your arms before standing beside you to peruse the options.

You nodded silently, your free hand rifling through bagged silicone toys, slightly in a daze as you picked out a few options. There was a slight blush dusted across Tom’s high cheekbones as he turned to see your arms full of dildos. You smiled as it took him a second to find words, and wondered how the hell he’d chosen to start a porn studio in the first place.

“Colour co-ordinated,” he commented, and you smiled, picking out yet another pink toy from the pile.

“Naturally,” you smiled, “I think that’s everything? Could we drag a mattress and pillows out?”

He nodded silently, already moving to manoeuvre the double mattress leaning against a wall in the props room. You rolled your eyes before helping, knowing he was being a gentleman, or whatever he called it. You called it putting his back out.

He rejected your help, so you grabbed as many pillows as you could, following him back into the main studio, privately smiling at the dramatic grunts he made trying to move the mattress. He tossed it to the ground with a grunt, shoving it into the corner of the room, before pausing again.

You dropped everything down on to it, toys, lube, pillows and all.

And then both of you waited.

It was so strangely intimate, just the two of you in the room, the strange nature of your relationship weighing heavy after last night’s miscommunication. Suddenly there was nothing you wanted to do less than take your clothes off.

“White sheets?”

“Hm?” you hadn’t processed what Tom said, too wrapped up in your own world, frowning down at the bare mattress.

“I was thinking white sheets.”

“Oh, uh, yeah.”

He was off, assigned another task, and you almost envied his distraction as you slowly sorted the pillows how you wanted, gathered the toys absentmindedly. Before Tom came back from the props closet you made yourself scarce, catching sight of his slim outline through the doorway. Facing away from you as he rummaged.

In the single bathroom of the studio you cleaned anything that would be going inside of you, avoiding your reflection, trying to shake off the odd nervousness coursing through your veins.

Why? It had been years since you felt this way before a shoot. Before you’d met Tom, even. Sure, shoots could be exciting, exhilarating, intimidating, but this self-consciousness, this self-doubt… it had come from nowhere.

You pressed your forehead to the mirror, closing your eyes, breathing deeply. The tap running sounded like a waterfall, the silicone under your fingers felt alien, the air almost claustrophobic as you wondered what the hell was wrong with you.

Tom was done making the bed when you got back, frowning at his phone until he heard you re-enter the studio space, quick to look up and see if you were happy with his set. You felt hyper-aware of him, of every movement he made, a clean towel and toys cradled in one arm as you took in the space. It was a simple premise, just a clean fitted sheet pillows in a corner, a clear space for you in the middle. You knew it would look good on screen. You knew this was an easy job.

You felt sick to your stomach.

“Do you want to face the camera? Or kind of, not acknowledge it?” Tom asked, speaking again as you forgot to reply, too caught up in your own mind. “Maybe if you ignore it that’s more… voyeuristic?”

“Sounds good,” you responded, kneeling to prepare your space. This was autopilot, your day job. You could do this.

“Right.”

He sounded a little put out by your response, but moved the camera anyway, switching to a knee-height tripod. You stood, stepped back to give him space, and frowning at the sudden headrush. You blinked, catching yourself staring at the flex of his arms as he moved the heavy equipment. You didn’t realise how long you had been staring into space until Tom called your name a second time, crossing into your personal space.

“Are you okay?”

Tom’s voice was so soft you wanted to cry, fingers hovering beside your bicep, his gentle eyes demanding for you to meet them, daring for you to lie while his face is so close to yours.

Somehow, the guilt of his worry made you feel worse.

“No, I’m…I’m being stupid. Sorry, just tired.”

“Did you not sleep well?”

“No, I, uh, I slept fine. I’m not sure. Just not really feeling it.”

His face fell, but you knew he wasn’t disappointed in you. He thought he’d done something wrong. Immediately you were talking, doing anything you could to soften his guilt.

“It’s my job, though. I can do it. This is great Tom, I think it’ll be a good shoot.”

“Sweetheart –”

You sighed, eyes falling to the mattress, before forcing a smile.

“Let’s get this over with!”

He looked like he wanted to argue with you, but you forced yourself to move, pulled your feet from the floor with far more effort than it ought to take. There was some comfort in rummaging through your own bag, that piece of home, something private from the studio. You found the vibrator you’d brought, a pink bullet you used almost exclusively at home, fully charged that morning. Behind you, Tom snorted in amusement.

“Nothing here is ever charged,” you shrugged off his stare, knowing damn well you didn’t have to explain yourself.

You wanted to explain anyway though. Just in case, Tom thought anything he did wasn’t enough. He seemed perfectly fine with the criticism, though you knew he was making a mental note. He always did, then you had something to say.

Trying not to make a big deal out of it, you stripped to your underwear, folding your clothes neatly and being careful not to show any self-consciousness in your posture. You’d never been ashamed or embarrassed before now, and you weren’t about to start. Even if it was just you, and a very well, fully dressed Tom. Vibrator clutched in your fingers, you finally sat on the damn mattress.

He was the other side of the camera now, somehow both distant and a few feet away. You found yourself staring at your body in the monitor, just watching. Tom’s voice broke you out of yet another daze, and you wanted to pinch yourself. Why couldn’t you do it today?

“We don’t have to do this today, if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s okay I just… I forget it’s just us sometimes, you know? There’s such a production and so many people and at the end of the day…”

Tom smiled, a relief on his face that told you he had been feeling it too. That this was weird.

“I know what you mean. If you’re uncomfortable…”

“Just give me a second to warm up, we need to make something, after all.”

You stretched, not really sure why, moving a little around the nook Tom had created, shuffling pillows and practicing where you wanted to lie back, watching a monitor as Tom played with a soft lighting, twisting and turning to find the most flattering angles you could.

As he shuffled things around, Tom nodded to the spread of toys you’d set out. You’d added your vibrator to the pink line up, perfectly organised on the white towel.

“Do you want those in shot?”

You shrugged.

“Might be hot?”

He nodded silently. You moved the toys in to the frame, trying to blink away the cloud which had settled in your mind. The world felt foggy, your arms like they were moving through treacle, and you knew Tom had noticed.

As he prepared two directional microphones, you tried not to feel claustrophobic. The audio from the microphone he was pointing towards your pussy would be almost grotesque, and you fought not to shuffle further from it as you imagined Tom listening later, headphones in, as he balanced the levels between your moans and the wet sounds of you fucking yourself.

Fuck.

Why was this so different to a regular shoot?

You’d done solo shoots before. With Tom. And half-a-dozen other crew, you reminded yourself.

You caught sight of his curls above the monitor, face serious as he set everything up.

“Speak?”

“Testing, testing,” you spouted off nonsense until he offered you a thumbs up, happy with the audio.

Then there was nothing else to do.

He stood, looming over the equipment. And you looming over you.

“What’s the plan?” he asked, smiling at your frown. “You’re in charge here, I’m just the camera guy.”

You rolled your eyes, knowing he was trying to put you at ease.

“You’re the director,” you reminded him, knowing how he preened himself under the title.

You were impressed that his eyes had only roamed down your body once as he took in the shoot, glancing at the indulgent layout of toys, double checking the monitor, one headphone in. He had that stance he always adopted when he was directing, and you knew it was his favourite moment in any of this. The moment everything was pinned on him.

It happened so quickly you almost missed the moment he knelt down, blinking in surprise as his face remerged at your level beside the camera.

“Then my direction is: enjoy yourself. Forget I’m here. Let’s show them something real.”

He must have seen your shock, because it made him smile.

“Real?” you questioned, and he nodded firmly.

“I’m serious.”

For a beat, both of you were silent, his eyes meeting yours over the body of the camera.

“If you can,” he offered, “I understand it’s not always…”

You interrupted him with a hand, smiling your understanding of what he was saying, and dismissing it in one motion. The silence dragged on, and you decided to push this forwards. If you were done by lunch, Tom would probably insist on taking you somewhere nice.

“I don’t know if I should use – ” you ghosted a finger across the biggest toy, worrying a bottom lip between your teeth, “Simplicity might be key.”

“Do what you want, darling. What feels good.”

You nodded mutely, and for just a second you saw doubt flicker across his face. This was new territory, and even you weren’t sure if this was a step too far.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah! Yeah. If I’m… actually… it might take a while. Let me know if I’m taking too long.”

“Take as long as you need, darling. I’ve got nowhere to be.”

Tilting your head at him a little, you realised abruptly just how intimate this was. Moreover, that you wanted it anyway. That you were about to make him watch you cum. Make him hear you, smell you. He couldn’t touch, but he could watch.

And that was enough for you to perform.

Tom gave you a countdown, red lights peppered your field of view, and he was recording. He had taken a seat on the floor behind the camera set up, one headphone in to monitor audio, waiting.

You stayed sat up, back arched a little as your hands began to caress you own body, keeping on eye on the monitor while your face was out of the shot. You rubbed along your thighs, across your stomach, teasing at the lace of your bra and the elastic of your underwear each time you passed them, trailing your fingertips. It didn’t really feel like anything, doing this to yourself, but you knew to tease the camera. Tom would cut out anything too slow.

Your gaze remained firmly on the screen as you began to make your touches firmer, more deliberate, dragging lines into your skin and flirting with the camera. You admired the soft skin of your breasts as you started to shift your bra, enjoying the stiffening of your nipples in the monitor until –

The screen went black, and you immediately glanced at Tom, frowning as you lost the visual of yourself. He met your questioning gaze sternly, eyebrows furrowed, and you remembered his direction.

“Enjoy yourself.”

With nothing left to look at you closed your eyes, feeling the blood rushing to the surface of your skin, the sensitivity of your breasts as your fingers idly danced across them. You shoved your bra down unthinkingly, wanting to feel more, rubbing at the heaviness of your breasts and wincing as you enjoyed the pleasure and pain of pinching at your nipples, teasing them to attention. You glanced your nails across them, feeling it in your core. You didn’t want to wait anymore. Fuck the cameras.

It was hard to let to, to stop the delicious feeling of your fingers on your own breasts, but you forced yourself to free one hand, shoving off the bra, desperate to feel yourself without it. You knew you were grimacing, it wouldn’t be sexy, but you didn’t care. That was Tom’s problem.

You needed to touch yourself.

One hand reached below the waistband of your underwear, seeking out your clit, guided by a familiar ache. It was all you could focus on, your other hand forgotten, cupping your breast, the sensation vague and lost as your fingers found your clit. The sensation overwhelmed you as you shifted the hood, your body beginning to produce wetness. The room was a little cold, the air relieving against the heat of your bare skin, making your nipples peak as you leant back into the nest of pillows behind you.

You felt your stomach tense, a bolt of electricity tensing the muscles up and down your body as you brushed across your clit a little too hard. Your middle finger probed your pussy experimentally, slipping inside of you, quickly joined by a second as you played with the wetness there.

One, two, three pumps of your fingers inside you was enough for you to gasp, your eyes still closed against the bright lights as focused on nothing but feeling. No more fucking around.

You reached for your vibrator, hand knocking against the thick silicone toy lined up beside it, writhing as you pressed it against the fabric covering your clit. You cycled through the settings as fast as you could, still desperate for more stimulation.

More. It was on the highest setting. You wanted more.

Without moving the vibrator you shoved your underwear off, huffing as you kicked them away, not caring where they landed. The tip of the toy nudged against your clit exquisitely, and you froze.

There.

There.

You thought about Tom watching you. The hot blood coursing through your body, the line up of toys just waiting to be shoved inside of you. The sensitivity of you clit as you held it against that perfect point. The air against your dripping, aching pussy. The muscles starting to clench, the rhythm of your body. Building, building, you didn’t fight the feeling.

This was what you wanted.

That warm familiarity of the vibrator on your clit, the runaway train of your thoughts, it was enough to drive you over the edge. You hadn’t realised the keening, groaning noises you were making until you heard them, pleasure leaving your lips as an afterthought.

You felt empty.

Blindly you reached out, sticky fingers finding the shaft of a toy you wanted, a smaller one you could take right now. A dollop of lube in the palm of your hand was all it would take, a few pumps of the toy enough to coat it, the excess lubricant smeared on the sheets. You didn’t care. Not your problem.

Without conscious thought, you were still rubbing yourself, two fingers absently making circles against your clit as you fidgeted to be able to take the dildo. You didn’t bother preparing yourself anymore. You were wet enough, and you wanted the stretch.

Needed it.

Needed to feel full.

You shoved the toy into yourself, gritted teeth and your spare hand grasping at your breast, giving the nipple a sharp pinch to interrupt the overwhelming feeling of that silicone pushing inside of you. Your walls were stretched open, a gasp reaching your ears as you felt a nudge against your cervix.

It wasn’t enough. You felt wild, desperate, as you sloppily pulled the toy from yourself and shoved it back in, clenching down and still needing more.

Your fingers found a larger toy, arousal and lubricant smearing across your body as you discarded the dildo which you had just been fucking yourself with, leaving it somewhere on the mattress, forgotten in favour of the bigger option. It was thick. Maybe, in your right mind, you wouldn’t have considered it. But instead you coated it in lube, squirting the clear liquid on to the tip and rubbing it down the toy, focusing on nothing but the need pulsing through your pelvis.

On the emptiness inside you, begging, pleading to be filled. It hurt, how much you wanted to be stretched out, to feel something pounding into you. You felt animalistic, desperate for anything. The last of your conscious thought was occupied by the need in your clit, the demand for friction, and you just didn’t have enough hands. It was impossible to think. When you finally sank down on the fake cock, leaning back, legs apart, gaze focused on nothing but your own swollen pussy, it was a relief. You gasped, then sighed, pushing another inch of the toy inside you. You felt stretched already, split in half, but you kept going. With each thrust, you took the silicone further inside of you until you felt the dull ache of the toy going too far.

Finally, that emptiness felt sated, and you stayed still, too stuffed to risk moving and too blissed out to care.

But you needed more.

Each bear down made the toy threaten to shift, and you didn’t have the brain power to thrust and pay attention to your aching clit. You moved gingerly, grabbing a pillow to straddle, holding the toy inside you as you hunted for your vibrator.

You couldn’t even lean too far to reach it, you were so full it ached. And it was delicious.

With the smooth plastic finally in your hand you leant back, ready to bring yourself to another orgasm. With a blink, you realised there was a tear tracking its way down your cheek, and you smiled to yourself.

And then you accidentally looked forwards. Your eyes met Tom’s. The camera. The lights. The switched off monitor.

You wanted to cry.

He was watching you directly, with those sharp blue eyes, one finger resting along his jawline, his usual calculating, wide stance replaced with one knee hugged to his chest as he sat on the concrete floor. He was watching you.

You. Stuffed full, straddling a pillow on the bed Tom had fucking made, covered in a mix of lube and your own arousal. That strange feeling from earlier came back full force.

God. He had seen you actually come. Without acting or cheesy lines or clever angles to hide the worst of your O-face. You could pretend to come, tell your male co-stars what a good time you’d had, follow direction, anything. But this was too real. And it was just you and Tom. In the corner of a huge studio, bright lights and cameras and –

Had he called cut? You wouldn’t have heard. Did he realise you’d lost control? That you had forgotten you were supposed to be acting and been so desperate and –

“You’re doing amazing.”

You smiled at him weakly, gasping as the toy inside you nudged your cervix as you fidgeted. You didn’t realise that you were awaiting direction until he spoke.

“Another one?”

His voice was a little throatier than usual, though you supposed he’d been quiet for a while. His eyes kept drifting from your face, and you wondered if he felt as uncomfortable as you did.

You nodded silently, closing your eyes, listening to the increasing pitch of the vibrator as you turned it up to its maximum setting.

The minutes stretched on as your orgasm built, little raises and falls of your hips accompanying that insistent buzz of your favourite vibrator, the toy inside you starting to ache as it stretched you apart. It was impossible to forget that Tom was watching you now. That his piercing gaze was on you. As a matter of professionalism, you tried to avoid looking up. You ignored the camera, fucked your body in the way you knew it would respond to, only half-faking it as you came a second time.

You moaned and groaned and gave the camera an indulgent few seconds of overstimulation, the vibrator pushed against your clit to make you writhe and shake. You pulled yourself off the dildo in a mess of arousal, played with yourself, showing off how stretched out you were.

Fingers swirling in the arousal inside of you, you sighed in relief when Tom called, “cut.”

Dropping the toy, you pulled your legs together, ignoring him for a second as you took deep breaths. Taking stock of your body, the residual pleasure and pain and stickiness. A lot of stickiness.

Tom took pity on you, shifting a softbox so you had a clear path out of the corner you were hemmed into.

“Go and have a shower,” he told you, the most softly-spoken command you’d ever heard.

Nonetheless, you followed orders. On weak legs, you indulged in as long as shower as you dared, cleaning up and then just… waiting. Trying to avoid the real world. When you finally opened the door, wrapped in a robe, you found your clothes folded outside. Tom was nowhere to be seen, but you thanked the universe for him anyway.

When you re-emerged you were fully dressed and feeling a lot more like yourself again. And, actually, quite proud of yourself. Tom’s busyness told you everything had been recorded properly, equipment moved and the mattress bare, leant against the wall.

“All good?” you asked, more to announce your presence than anything. He stopped moving, offering you a gentle smile.

“Perfect! I think it’ll be great. Do you want to go get lunch somewhere? To celebrate?”

Predictable as anything. The thought made your heart swell with fondness for him, his head tilt and excitement, his strange place here.

“I think I’ll just go home,” you tried to smile apologetically, but you could still feel the ache inside you, the dull oversensitivity of your clit against your underwear.

The embarrassment and excitement fighting in the fit of your stomach.

Tom nodded, clear understanding on his face. He held the door for you on the way out.

“Are you coming in tomorrow?” he asked, quietly, like you might run off if he asked.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll see you then.”

*

Your bedroom fell silent as the vibrator stopped, the battery finally flat. You whined in disappointment, desperate for another orgasm. Your fingers replaced it instantly, rubbing, desperately pulling more wetness from the arousal weeping from you, but you were too oversensitive.

Panting, vision blurry, your thighs aching, you blinked away tears. You glanced at the nightstand. Tom hadn’t text you.

*

When you woke up the next morning your phone was dead. You’d forgotten to charge it last night, and leaving it in your room to charge offered a strangely peaceful morning. You had a few hours before you would be expected at the studio, and no work to do before then.

You indulged in spending time getting ready for the day, making a decent breakfast, doing a few chores you’d been putting off.

Processing what had happened yesterday.

In the clear light of day, you wondered if you ought to be embarrassed for the way you’d completely lost yourself at the shoot. The more you thought about it, the more you thought about it, the more you rationalised at you’d just followed Tom’s direction. Done what he’d asked. It had been intense, for sure, but you’d done what he’d asked. If anything you regretted the moment he’d had to speak, losing your nerve. You hoped he didn’t want pick-up shots today, you weren’t sure your body could take any more.

You thought about the night before, clearing up the scattered clothes and charging the vibrator you’d left strewn beside your bed, more ashamed of the images which had been conjured by your overactive imagination in the late-night privacy of your bedroom. You hated that everything you imagined was involved blue eyes. Distinctive curls. Pulling buttons from smart shirts and kissing along sharp cheekbones. Poor Tom. He didn’t need you overstepping that mark. And yet when you had closed your eyes, imagined you were under those lights again, all you could imagine was Tom. His creative gaze. Listening to the smoothness his voice leant to everything he said as he instructed you even more intimately than usual.

As you switched your phone back on, you forced the thoughts from your mind. They couldn’t follow you to the studio. The two of you had built something good. Something successful. The studio was doing well, you were both saving money away for the future, building your brands. You couldn’t screw that up now by imagining him like that. He trusted you. You trusted each other. Relied on one another.

You wondered if he ever fucked other actresses.

[sheabuttyr]

plumbbae asked: [IM SORRY IF this sent twice!! tumblr is wack and didn't give me the page where it says it did. ;/] -- > Hey babe. Is there a place where I can DL your old cc/sets? [specifically the Monopoly one.] If not, or you don't feel like answering, totally ok! Regardless, thanks for taking your time !! xx

Hey Love, you can find all of my old CC HERE

sosophia26 asked: Hey Girly!! I love your cc in and out. But the daija dreads cause my game to crash. I removed all my mods and tested it with only this and to figure out the cause. I was wondering was it working on your end and just my computer cant handle all of the black girl magic for it.

My hairs in game works fine and I haven’t heard anything from anyone else or my patrons. Try redownloading it. I’ll be on the lookout if anyone has any problems.

1jadelove asked: Hi! Can you tell me which eye preset do you use, please?

Hi Love, You can check my resource page.

smilingcrybaby asked: Hey, I love your cc & I'm so happy you're back. I wanted to know if you'll be converting your adult hairs to kids or if you'll ever consider making child hairs?

For the foreseeable future I don’t see me converting any children's hairs. If you are looking for some children's conversions of my hairs @dbasiasimbr is wonderful at conversions for children and toddlers! 

thesobaboba asked: how do u get ur sims to look the way u do? i love ur style of sims sm and wish i could make some have certain traits urs do.

Hi Love, You can check my resource page.

gussini asked: Heyy, I wanted ask what the color # of the brown you use for Mobile?

Here is the hex code love #71412c

queenwilluna asked: I've been looking around for some mm Bantu Knots and everything I find has been removed, do you plan on making some anytime?

Yes I do plan on re-uploading and making more! 

violeteyestokyoj asked: I cant find the hasina dreads anywhere does the file still exist?

Hey Love, you can find all of my old CC HERE

forthesimculture asked: Will you also be creating future hairs for male sims? I loved your previous additions and use them every time I play. Hands down the best in the community!

Thank You So Much! and Yes I do plan on making more masculine frame hairs very soon! Be on the lookout!

rootivy asked: hello!! I love your cc so much, but I was wondering if it's possible for you to label each of the hairs in your big collections you put out like for example the braids or afros with their names? Because sometimes I only want a couple and I am never sure which is which since they have names but it doesn't say which! Thank you so much! Have a great day!

Hello Love, I list the hairs in the picture order and from left to right like it says listed in the collections. These are just older hairs that have been updated with the swatches and minor fixes. So it shouldn't be too hard to navigate. 

sofiekinggorjusse asked: WCIF THE CURLY HAIR FROM YOUR COTTAGE LIVING PLAY THROUGH POST?! 😍 it’s so beautiful

Here you go! You can find this hair HERE! It is by the wonderful serenity-cc!

humansinthesky asked: just want to say I'm so glad you're back, my game wouldn't be the same without your content! looking forward to both your updated and brand new creations 💙

AWW, Thank You Sooo Much! I am happy to be back and making new creations for you all to enjoy! 

lithops93 asked: Hi! <3 Could you please tell me where to find the female hair here? /post/657575448480563200/here-are-some-sims-for-my-cottage-living

Here you go! You can find this hair HERE! It is by the wonderful serenity-cc!

nekochan-simmer asked: Hi, I want to firstly say that I love your cc and I'm glad you are back posting. That said, could you perhaps make your hair less poly? I checked the afro puffs for curiosity and they were 48k poly, it is insanely high for hair. I want to be able to use your hair but with each hair being so high poly I really can't keep a lot of them in game, and I'm lucky that my computer and game are able to support at least a small bunch of them, there's people whose specs don't allow them to install such heavy content. I honestly can't see a reason why a maxis match hair is so high in polygons.

The reason why some of the hairs are on the higher poly side of things is because some if not most elements are made from scratch and also I make more intricate details and I decimate the meshes as much as I can without trying to compromise the integrity of the initial mesh. But this is why I always preface the people downloading and the patrons who pledge to me to check the specs of your computer. Not all of my cc is high poly but sadly If i want my content to look the best It comes at a smaller cost of vertices and poly count. 

girlalmighty666 asked: Hi! I love your cc ❤️ and your model sims are TO DIE FOR! Would you ever consider sharing them for download? Pretty please 🥺

I don’t see me uploading my sims in the future but I can make a default sim for you all to download if you’d like.

detectivemogeta asked: just wanted to say thanks for everything you create, it really makes my game experience better :)

No, The pleasure is all mine! I am so glad you like my content enough to even download it.