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physalian · 2 months

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Transformers Prime Appreciation Post

You know what. You know what?? This show has featured in so much of my writing advice, it deserves its own “This show is amazing and has amazing writing and shit you can learn from it to be a better writer” post. It’s streamable on Netflix at the time of this post. I own it on DVD. I have all three seasons on actual, physical discs that I bought new for my DVD collection. That’s how much I love this show.

What is TFP? TFP aired on The Hub network, the joint venture between Hasbro and Discovery Channel that died after MLP ended, I think. We lost cable before that happened. TFP was probably single-handedly sustained by MLP money for a while, like the rest of HBO on GOT.

This show came out when I entered high school and I have extremely vivid memories of some of the constant previews they showed of the season 1 finale 3-parter, to the point where whenever I watch the scenes that were in those teasers, I still get a physical reaction from being bludgeoned over the head with those lines of dialogue.

I used to scroll ahead in the TV guide as far as the scheduled programming allowed, just to catch snippets of what episodes were slated to air within the next month. This show was the shit.

But it was too expensive and its budget got eaten by Friendship is Magic. The bronies ruin everything I guess.

It’s 3 seasons (technically 2.5 since 3 was only greenlit for half its episode count) of near-perfection and a tv-movie. There are a few weak episodes, sure, and one absolute dud of a clipshow episode, but there are no awful episodes. There ain’t no “Great Divide” for this show.

Why you should watch it:

1. A “kids” show that absolutely takes itself seriously

One of the Autobots dies 5 minutes into the series and it’s the inciting incident for the entire story. He gets blown up, taken prisoner, and then stabbed through his chest by a Decepticon’s fist without warning. He then gets brought back as a zombie, killed again, infects his partner with the zombie juice when she’s trying to save him, and dies for good.

Two main characters get straight-up murdered, long-running characters whose deaths have lofty consequences for the narrative. There’s betrayals, double-agents, robot torture, robots getting eaten alive by scraplets, gaslighting of an amnesiac, near-murders of POWs, near-murders of fan-favorites who get so hurt, their recovery spans 4 whole episodes, attempted child murder, terrorism, and mad science.

But there is also some heavy emotional shit. The surviving partner of the zombie is damaged by his loss for the entire show because she can’t properly manage her grief. There’s characters going on suicide missions to avenge their dead/dying friends, getting beat to shit while a child watches helplessly on the sidelines screaming at them to get up and run through tears. There’s war flashbacks to dead friends and comrades and the terror and fallout of being eons-old soldiers.

There’s quiet moments, too, about grief and loss and living with disability and disfigurement from battlefield wounds. There’s the machinations of a tragic villain, openly and explicitly abused in front of his whole team and who keeps crawling back and groveling at his master’s feet and his internal identity crisis over who he is, if he’s not with his abuser. There’s the fallout of an extremely divisive trolley problem where a normally calm and collected character loses their shit with grief over the decision that was made. There’s the quiet rumblings of dissent and rebellion in the ranks and all the backstabbing that follows.

And there’s clever moments. Rogues and rebels orchestrating complex and interwoven plots to further their agendas. A POW who no one would ever expect to be captured absolutely trouncing their captives and laughing all the while while they free themselves. Characters who always have a backup plan to force others into awful predicaments.

The first episode after the 5-episode mini-movie that opens the show features an A-plot about school science projects, and a B-plot about waking a loyal ‘Con from stasis and trying to convince him to bow down to the ‘Cons’ temp leader, Starscream, while Megatron is elsewhere. It does not end well for him. The very next episode features robots getting eaten alive by alien metal termites.

2. Depth of Character

Beyond the actual plot, the villains might be more compelling characters than the heroes across many arcs and episodes. You’ve got five main autobots for most of the show that generally fit the 5-man band:

Optimus: Leader

Ratchet: Smart Guy

Bulkhead: Tough Guy

Arcee: Lancer

Bumblebee: Heart

Also guest starring the Alien Robot Cowboy Samurai known as Wheeljack, he’s amazing.

These characters have some really rich episodes and arcs, and moments where they have to put their own values, wants, and agendas aside for the greater good or the problem at hand. They feel like real people, for lack of a better word. They laugh, they cry, they rage, they grieve, and since the show is one long storyline, what happens seemingly inconsequentially in season 1 will come back to haunt them in season 3.

But then you have the villains, an extremely dysfunctional team of “every man for himself, we’re all not here because we like each other, but because we hate the Autobots,” and I can tell from the fanfic that the ‘Cons are the much more popular characters to write about.

Megatron: The fascist narcissist warlord

Starscream: His scheming SIC both too smart and too dumb for his own good

Soundwave: The utterly badass TIC comms chief who never loses and is insanely, fiercely loyal to the cause

KnockOut: The absolutely gay-as-fuck cosmedic surgeon/chief of medical voiced by Daran Norris, who’s only design requirement was to make him a sexy sportscar, and they ended up with a cherry red Aston Martin. One of his first lines in the show is "*whistle* Sweet rims” at Optimus in truck mode.

Breakdown: KO’s himbo, canon* boyfriend with some of the best, cringey puns

Airachnid: Arcee’s arch nemesis, the only other female transformer, a “love to loathe her” type

And others down the line for both teams.

*Canon insofar as a kids show on a kids network allows a la “we’ve given you as much subtext as we can, do the rest”.

KO is technically my favorite but it’s a tossup between many and that is a feat, especially when they’re the villains. They are all extremely compelling characters.

3. The Story

With some exceptions, episodes don’t happen in isolation. Most of season 1 is a bit random with a foggy throughline, but season 2 is utterly amazing, sans that one clipshow the producers probably insisted on.

Season 2 is the show’s finest hour and without spoiling anything: The end of season 1 sees this database that had been in the ‘Cons possession suddenly now with the means to decode and decrypt whatever’s locked behind it. The database contains coordinates on Earth of a myriad of confiscated weapons, ancient relics, and the like and the entire season is one big fetch quest with both sides racing and beating the shit out of each other to decode coordinates and retrieve the relics before the other side.

The macguffins are pretty cool in their own right (alien mustard gas, a giant Final Fantasy sword, an alien nuke, a phase-shifter) but it’s the intensity of the story and the action and drama that happens around the various quests that is so amazing.

At one point, the show takes four episodes to tackle a fetch quest across four separate relics that involves the entire cast on both sides and the two rogues all gunning for their targets at the same time, ending with one character critically injured that grinds the whole plot to a stop.

The show is one long story, as I mentioned, where something that happens in episode 2 shows up again as critically important in episode 40 and that’s a heck of an achievement on the writers’ part, making it all feel like it was planned that way from the start, even though it wasn’t.

Season 3 is… lesser, mostly because it has half as many episodes because the show was canceled. However, the writers knew about the cancellation early enough to still deliver a satisfying story, and wrap up loose ends with a tv-movie that is also pretty good.

Episode-to-episode there’s definitely a mixed bag of what kind of tone you’ll get. It’s still a kids show and there are human characters so there are some lesser episodes with the humans’ lives as the focus and the Autobots running support. Then you’ll have small-screen perfection, but like I said, there’s never a single episode of story (not clipshow) that I skip upon rewatch, no matter how many times I’ve seen it. The second “clipshow” episode is far and gone above the first, told through the eyes of a character as they’re on trial, only their scenes through the story, as they await judgment that might see them executed.

4. The Production Value

The majority of the animation budget rightfully went to the transformers themselves, which left the environments and the human characters a little rough around the edges. But you came for alien robots and before I got this show on DVD, I streamed crap quality episodes online. Once I saw these characters in full HD color, for the first time since it aired on TV, I was blown away. The reflections are, bar none, the best part. Which seems like a strange hill to die on but these are shiny metal giants. There’s some shots where you can see the reactions of other characters reflected hazily in the chest plates of the speaking character, and this is kids animated TV.

Some episodes do stand out, possibly because they changed studios, but some do have some off-kilter coloring or shadows, but you wouldn’t notice if you’re not like me and have picked some scenes apart frame by frame.

The music, also, is amazing. It’s grand and epic and far and gone from the 80s synthesizers, with a few choir tracks thrown in. The foley and sound design can get a little gratuitous with the metal-on-metal squeals, but none of it ever feels out of place.

I bought the directors’ commentary without knowing it for seasons 1 and 3 and they talked about having all the digital screens in the backgrounds of both bases constantly moving and showing data, not just static, blank images, and it really ups the feel of the quality and care put into the show when there’s always something cool to look at in every frame.

There are also some money shots. At one point there’s a fight that demands Optimus and Megatron join forces and with zero dialogue between them, only choreography in the span of about 25 seconds of animation shows you that these two really were old friends, old allies, old confidants. Their moves are mirrored, back to back, showing that Megatron clearly taught Optimus how to fight and this shot, the one at the top of the post, is too good to not spoil.

5. The Writing

Beyond the overall arcs, I mentioned in my “How to make your writing less stiff” post that the dialogue in this show is stellar. Due to animation budgets, they didn’t have the means to fully render a huge variety of environments, and that includes anything on Cybertron. So, when necessary, outside of when characters actually go to Cybertron later in the show, they use some beautiful matte paintings and voiceover narration by Ratchet, absolutely dumping exposition on the audience in spectacular fashion.

I have the director’s commentary. I know Ratchet’s monologues were a thing of beauty. They also had the cast all recording their dialogue at once, standing in a big U for more natural line deliveries.

The actual writing though, from the different ways the characters speak to the lore, the backstories, how the show can be a horror trip one minute and a kids’ science fair the next, showed incredible variety and flexibility in the writers’ room.

Optimus’ lines remain my favorite because they’re just that juicy, but then you have characters like Starscream, a perpetual schemer who loves to hear himself talk, pontificating whenever he can about his plans and how much he hates Megatron and how self-important he is. Or other righteous characters who use Big Words like Optimus that don’t feel out of place against somebody like KnockOut who says stuff like “I like the way I look in steel-belted radials” or Wheeljack who clearly learned English from watching Clint Eastwood movies.

Or, a later character, Shockwave, the most “robotic” of the robots and very poncy and scientific with the way he talks and interprets the world, with most of his lines including whether or not a character’s choices were “logical”.

This show is fantastic at creating tension out of mundanity and keeping you on the edge of your seat for nail-biting action scenes. You feel the anguish and the grief with the characters. Their rage and elation and devastation.

Some faults, because I love this show and I can recognize them

The human characters are… well, teenagers. Miko is pretty divisive, you’ve got the camp of “wah she’s a girl and she’s annoying” and just people who don’t find them as compelling. Which, fair. Their animation is a bit gummy and sometimes they disappear for entire episodes and their human world arcs are kind of abandoned. They’re not the best, but this isn’t about humans, it’s about transformers.

Due to probably time constraints with the show being canceled, some transformers’ arcs also felt abandoned or not given their due time to shine (of which fanfic has made painfully clear and rectified). It’s a very tight plot, but there are some dangling loose ends.

Sometimes it is incredibly in-your-face that this is a show meant to sell toys, particularly in season 3 with the whole uh, “we must become beast hunters” and the soft rebrand.

There exists a subplot of C-list villains, human militants who want to dissect cybertronian biology and make weapons. While some of their episodes are absolute bangers, you can tell the writers were getting sick of them before they’re finally written out of the show.

And a few awkward lines here and there.

Other cool shit if nothing else has convinced you

No love triangle or romantic subplot for the two female robots and one of the female humans. You can read one of Arcee’s relationships as romantic or platonic, but she is far beyond just “the girl” of the group, she’s a badass. The other romantic subplot is between a mom who’s deadbeat ex-husband is inexplicably missing, and a pot-bellied Army vet, and it’s really sweet and healthy.

(I think) incredible representation of characters with disability, in Bumblebee’s various war scars and his mutism.

The Gays. I swear there’s a page in the art book (of which I am desperate to find a copy of) for KnockOut and the caption of his art legit says something like “we made him too sexy, oops”.

So. Many. Puns. Puns that know they’re awful and relish in it. Dad jokes, too.

Ratchet losing his mind over how human children can get “twisted limbs and metal burn” if they do a dangerous thing before realizing the latter does not apply. Ratchet losing his mind in general. Just all of the cranky medic. Jeffrey Combs can make a phone book entertaining.

One of the last times we’ll probably get Peter Cullen and Frank Welker together doing Optimus and Megatron, the OGs. And also, one tiny moment where Frank has to say “treasure” and he still flubs it just like he does for Fred in Scooby Doo.

Consistency between character injuries. If Optimus’ sword breaks in a battle, whenever he summons it before he can have time to fix it, it’s still broken in ensuing shots.

An episode of zombies infecting the Decepticons’ ship and Starscream and KnockOut accidentally admitting they love each other while cowering in terror, while also calling back to a different pair of characters they did not witness saying the exact same lines.

Optimus transforming, ramming Megatron in the chest in truck mode, booting him off a cliff, and using his tires to melt rubber in Megatron’s face once they land because he is pissed.

All of Starscream’s immensely satisfying comeuppance for situations he gets himself into.

Using the murder termites for good in a rather horrifying death of a random goon.

Megatron’s hate boner for Optimus that clearly shows how badly these two don’t actually want to kill each other, despite having a million chances to do so, because like Batman and the Joker, “you and I are destined to do this for eternity,” and killing one would leave the other alone, after eons of fighting.

The gorgeous matte paintings.

—

Somebody on here once drew KnockOut with Autobot blue eyes and I have not been able to find that post since. If anyone sees it, please send it to me, it was gorgeous.

Now go watch this show. You can do it in a weekend.

#appreciation post #transformers prime #transformers #tfp #animation #long post

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genericpuff · 6 months

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Genuinely I would give anything to hear your thoughts or read more critical analysis of yours on other webcomics writing (*slides you Marionetta* I like the webtoon but there are some things in the writing that I'd like to see be discussed critically more often but the fandom focuses way too much on shipping. sighs..)

Anyway, you probably have been asked this before but are there any webtoons in particular you would recommend? :D

Oh lord, you don't know how many times a week I get asks in my inbox asking for my opinions on webtoons they're reading. It's really sweet that people wanna hear me talk about other works outside of LO, but unfortunately I just don't have the time to read as much as I used to, even keeping up on LO lately is getting really difficult 😅 I'm definitely keeping a list though of works to check out!

That said, I try not to read series on the basis of criticizing them because frankly I just... don't want to spend time reading something if people are only looking for me to rag on it? 😆 Of course I know that's not the only reason, I know there's also just the element of seeing me talk extensively about other works the way that I do with LO, but it's not really something I can turn on and off like that, I have to get really into a series to want to talk about it to that extent. So it often comes down to just luck of the draw :'0

Right now the series I'm keeping up the most on (or have completed and would absolutely 100% re-read):

Alfie (18+, it's porn with plot but the plot is REALLY GOOD , I SWEAR LMAO the art is gorgeous, the characterization is IMMACULATE, and it ironically tackles the subject of purity culture way better than LO ever has lol)

Theia Mania (the creator is often in my comment section / neck of the woods, she's been working on an Abduction of Persephone retelling for a long while now and has also tackled other myth retellings in her style! I always love seeing new pages of her work in my feed :' ) <3)

Tales from Alderwood (if you like fantasy and comedy, this one's great, the plot's really starting to get interesting and it's just got this really great sense of humor about it)

The Black Parade (this one's REALLY interesting, it's a comic-stylized version of My Chemical Romance's The Black Parade, using the songs as narration and sometimes even dialogue to tell a visual story, it's really cool and the art matches beautifully with the lyrics and style of MCR!)

A Tale of Two Rulers (this is a Legend of Zelda fancomic that poses the question, "What if Zelda and Ganondorf got married to solve their political crisis?" It updates a lot slower than most of the other comics I follow but the art and writing is so worth it <3)

Dogs of Future Past (and p much all of Lynx's Undertale comics which can be found in the link, seriously, THESE are the comics you wanna read if you wanna get into Undertale fanworks, they are PEAK)

Tamberlane (this one's an anthro comic, I normally don't read anthro but this one actually gripped me by the throat, the art is gorgeous and the character arcs so far have been great!)

The Mafia Nanny (okay it's legit so funny that I'm including this one here but I've been reading it the last couple days after seeing it basically beat out LO at the top of the trending tab for a couple days, so I figured I'd give it a shot, at first I was like "great more tropey shit" but the more I read it the more it's actually started to get pretty good, I'm holding out and hoping to god it stays that way LOL it's not especially deep or anything like that, but it's really fun and cute to read and the shipping of the main character within the narrative isn't too self-absorbed which I can always appreciate, I'd honestly be 100% fine with it if it didn't turn into a romance)

City of Blank (I talk about this one a lot here, but it's one of my favorite Originals right now, the art is super polished and the writing has gotten INTENSE, go check it out if you want some fun action / sci-fi storytelling!)

Time and Time Again (a time-travelling vampire and his werewolf boyfriend get into all kinds of misadventures, what more could you ask for?)

Touch of Divinity (like the Mafia Nanny, this is one I just started reading, it's got a very interesting premise so far and I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes!)

#if i ever do read marionetta then y'all will definitely hear about it LOL #ask me anything #ama #anon ask me anything #anon ama #recommendations #reading reccs #reading recommendations

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kabuki-draws · 10 months

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I watched Ridley Scott's NAPOLEON yesterday and it was a complete Waterloo.

Yes, I am a big history nerd with a giant heart for movie adaptation of historical topics. But when I watched NAPOLEON I sat there... and tried not to laugh. It was not only so historical inaccurate, that I wanted to cry, at the same time it was filled with cringe dialogues, red flags and terrible color grading. This whole movie made me so sad yet so angry, that I HAVE to write this review:

(Disclaimer: This review is based on my own opinion. If you enjoyed the movie, it's completely fine. Btw. in that case or if you agree with me, feel free to tell me your opinion. I would love to know!)

First of all: Don't get me wrong, the medium film has its own rules and you can't put as much historical accuracy into a big scale movie as you would into a documentary - sometimes the story needs to be altered to be a good movie. And that is fine. Even if Gladiator is a complete fictional story set in the Roman Empire, I can still enjoy this movie for what it is: A good-written story with great characters, a beautiful score and iconic scenes. With Kingdom of Heaven it's kind of the same - and while the movie cut was very inconsistent, I still kind of liked it. But then the Directors Cut made it a a masterpiece for me.

Funny enough, both of these movies are made by the same person: Ridley Scott. So naturally I thought: Well, Napoleon won't be a historical accurate film, but I surely will enjoy it anyways. Well, ...no. It is not only historical incorrect, it's also a bad movie overall.

To start it short: NAPOLEON clearly lost itself in all the various topics it wanted to tell within a runtime of two and a half hours. It made the whole storytelling very weird and inconsistent, causing the problem, that the audience even loses itself in the questions of when and where. Where is that scene located? When did that happen? And then comes the question: Why is this even happening?

Ridley Scott wants to depict Napoleon as a lover, a military genius, a big political figure, a revolutionary and more. But in the end he tells all of this in the most shallow way possible, which waters down Napoleons personality traits and achievements to a series of small scenes. You never get a glimpse of the "true" Napoleon, who was described as a highly intelligent and charismatic man. In fact, you never really feel ANYTHING about him except that he was a cringe red flag in front of his wife. He just stands there, stares and has very limited dialogue scenes to get a picture of that man. What are his overall motivations? Only Josephine? If so, why is this motivation only vaguely explored?

The whole love story between him and Josephine feels so unnatural and got to the brink of being disgusting. This is particularly sad because I deeply respect Vanessa Kirby and Joaquin Phoenix, they're both stunning actors. I don't know if they just couldn't fit the role or if it was rather a problem of the script (the last one is my guess). Yet whenever I saw Josephine and Napoleon on screen, I felt like acted very stiff and forced. Napoleon seemed more obsessed with her than actual love and that can be a character trait, but there wasn't a chance to explore that deeper. Before the movie entered the cinema, the lovestory between these two was marketed as intense, obsessive, deeper than you could imagine. What the audience got was a few scenes without real conversation, much staring and a bunch of cringeworthy s-scenes. And seriously, these "sexy" scene were the worst. I was so disgusted by them because they were SO DAMN WEIRD. There are no scenes that undermine ANY deep love between Josephine and Napoleon. It felt therefore so off, when they still longed for each other after their divorce.

And let's not start to ramble about the fact that they depicted Josephine ONLY in a somehow sexual way. Yeah, there is that scene where she says to Napoleon, that he is nothing without her. BUT SHOW, DON´T TELL! You never see her doing something instead of sitting there, talking with others or when the plot needs her to have sexy time with someone (not only Napoleon). As a woman myself this makes me so freaking furious, you have no idea. I don't need a marvel-coded super-strong woman with unlimited talents - I just need a female character that is written GOOD and plausible! Make me CARE for her plot and for the plot of Napoleon! Both of them don't even feel like normal human beings because they're like blank pieces of paper with their names written on it!

And don´t make me start to talk about the historical inaccuracies. At first I didn't want to draw that card. Actually, I don't need a historical movie to present 100% facts. If the movie is still enjoyable, it's okey. But even if many people say that the war scenes were awesome, I can only partly agree. Yeah, we have that cool ice-lake Austerlitz battle, but it took me a couple of minutes and a better look on the uniforms to know that Napoleon is now at war with Austria! You get nearly ZERO context to Napoleons battles. Yeah, nice, the scenes look cool - but there is nothing more to it? Is that all you need to show for the audience to care? For me at least, I just didn't care at all and I was very happy when I got out of the cinema. Overall this movie is full of messy non-sense choices that don't contribute to the story. Many moments just confused me and it left me with the question why Scott couldn't simply hire some historians to put together a consistent story. Everyone who read about Napoleons life knows that there are so much cinema worthy moments in his career that would've been so much better than what we now got.

I could ramble about that movie for hours if I´m honest, but I hope this little TED talk was enough to make my statement clear.

In the end, it just makes me sad. I wanted to like this movie, I wanted it to be good. For months I hyped myself up to this, read books about Napoleon, watched the trailer all over and over and talked with friends about how great this movie will be. Now I am just disappointed and frustrated. Oppenheimer was such a great biopic of a historical person that became a great success at the box office - even without great battle scenes. I hoped that Napoleon would push a cinema revolution, that shows people want big scaled films about historical personalities and history topics. But now I just want to forget this Napoleon movie to be honest.

#napoleon #napoleon bonaparte #napoleon movie #ridley scott #joaquin phoenix #vanessa kirby

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celestie0 · 8 months

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notes on kickoff ch.7

hellooo if you're here thank you for taking the interest! i just had some creative notes i wanted to get off my chest with the release of ch.7 lol i felt compelled to do so with this one i'm basically journaling here. you can read this after reading ch7 here!

I. on gojo's feelings

as for why didn't gojo just tell reader how he felt at the end of the chapter, and instead only says what he does. i think i rewrote this ending like five different times, he was never supposed to tell her at this point based on my story planning, but i did explore the idea of a dramatic confession here regardless, and it didn't fit for lots of different reasons for one, i think he's finally able to put himself in reader's shoes. it's true he's pretty dense and obviously has commitment issues/valid fears that keep him from opening up, but that still doesn't mean he hasn't hurt reader in a lot of different ways already. he realizes, whether intentionally or not, he's led her on and to do a complete turnaround within a few hours while she's already trying to process rejection as she is clearly withdrawn from him i believed would've been selfish on his part, and could possibly cause even more hurt over the fact that he could come off ingenuine. gojo is finally emotionally aware of her enough to recognize it, but he's not a perfect person so it still slips through that he's distraught at the thought of never seeing her again. in general i'm of the opinion that if someone asks for space, you respect that unless they say otherwise of note, just because he realizes that he has these feelings, doesn't necessary change his fears, as no single moment can undo years of trauma, so i think that's why he bites his tongue too. i'm not keen on making this a "woman fixes man" story but i moreso want to embrace the sentiment that you don't need to resolve every single bad thing that's ever happened to you in order to embrace love or happiness.

II. on gojo's commitment issues

i know it was brought up in the first gojo pov that he has issues committing to just one woman, but i wanted this chapter to reveal that it's really just his fear of opening up to people due to the still raw loss he feels of losing someone he loved. i aim with his pov to be more of a stream of his own consciousness rather than from an omniscient observer, which may explain the ambiguity. he's not sure if he's able to open up to a person in a way he knows is normal and healthy, so he settles on shallow connections instead. just wanted to clear this up, and say that it won't be any sort of plot point in which he struggles to be sincere or faithful when he seriously wants to commit to someone as he has no issues with that if he truly wants to be with them (unlike the whore he's been so far in the series lmao)

III. on strawberry vanilla soda

btw i've never had this flavor of soda i'm not even sure where i came up w it loool or if it even exists. i was kind of toying with the idea of gojo seeing reader's message on the can during the match, and that would maybe help him get more focused on the field (sooo sports romance cliche but i still love it haha) but i settled on him seeing it afterwards to kinda parallel the clumsiness he's had with reader so far. for some reason, the universe just doesn't want him to get his timing right with her lol

IV. on angst/conflict

i know ch7 was a bit differentttt less gojo x reader and more just gojo lmfao, it was also a bit angsty. it definitely won't stay angsty throughout the remaining chapters. this was just gojo's lore drop chapter LOL. there will still obviously be angst here and there, but i've got a lot of fun, cute, tense, silly, passionate, messy scenes still planned similar to ch5&6 because i prefer writing those kinds of scenes haha. ultimately this story was always meant to be a full-circle romance, so ch7 was to lay some of the emotional groundwork that gets brought up as the story builds to its climax

that's all i have to saayyy if you actually read this whole thing i love you?? lol. ch7 really emotionally resonated with me as i wrote it, both as someone who understands how gojo feels but also as someone who understands how reader feels, and if it resonated with you too then that makes me very happy and that's ultimately every writer's dream haha. was very cathartic to share these thoughts. i hope to see you in the next oneeee <3 have a wonderful rest of your day!

#kickoff #gojo satoru #fanfiction

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egrets-not-regrets · 4 months

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My silly thoughts on Guesthouse of the (Lost) Astartes Series

Tagging: @kit-williams, @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan, @sleepyfan-blog,

@bispecsual, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @barn-anon, @bleedingichorhearts

Here are some of my own thoughts/headcanons/comments while writing this story:

Erriox loves Lenora very very much, and Lenora feels the same. Though it took them longer before their bond truly became a mate bond. Whereas Alcyon and Malaran has an intense bond with Amelia and Ben respectively, resulting in Malaran considering Ben, his child, and Alcyon considers Amelia his mate/wife within a very short period of time. It wasn't exactly difficult for Alcyon to take the role that Amelia's ex left behind, to be honest.

Potential number of Ben’s dads = - 1 + 2. Problem here would be that Malaran and Alcyon might start butting heads if Ben starts calling either of them 'dad'. Especially if Ben starts calling Alcyon 'dad'. As chaos space marines are rather possessive of their bonded humans.

The deeply religious consider chaos space marines as demons and of the devil. Any one who is bonded to one are either ousted or must be 'saved'. Since Ben is the firstborn (only) son, they were trying to 'save' him from Malaran's 'influence'. His mother (Amelia) already 'fell' (bonded with a chaos Iron Warrior), but since she's the wife and not truly family, ousting her was not a big issue. They can raise Ben themselves to make sure he walks the right path in life.

Erriox just wants to mack on Lenora. Malaran's a prick for calling him out.

Alcyon, despite being a chaos space marine, has some degree of propriety. Put it this way: say he has it in his head of wanting to bend Amelia over the admin desk of the medical wing and take her right there, he'll think it, but he ain't gonna say it out loud or at least not until when they're in private. Malaran doesn't have as much of a filter.

Lenora prefers that Amelia remember her as a responsible adult, and not take children for high-speed joyrides chases on winter roads. She is a decent driver, but even that was pushing her skills to the limit and she heavily relied on luck to get them through okay.

Erriox has seen Lenora drive, but never like the Tokyo Drift stunt she pulled. Poor man darn near had a heart attack. That was the first time he had to confront the fact that Lenora could've gotten seriously hurt or killed before his eyes and there was very little he could do to stop it as he was also dealing with the Black Templar at the time.

When Erriox and Malaran took a long time to get back to the base, that was the first time Lenora got scared that Erriox was going to die or was dead. To say the least, both of them had some reservations of this whole plan at some point, despite only outright saying so at the end.

Don’t leave a mess in Apothecary Osteron’s medbay. Medics are scary when angry. I picture him as a mix of Ratchet from Transformers and Unohana from Bleach. He has health and safety standards and it is important to keep his medbay clean. His poor staff JUST cleaned it, he's not about to make them do it again. Might as well get the three knuckleheads to do it since they were the ones who made the mess.

Alcyon once made children cry when he went to the medical ward to pick up Amelia, because he was so intimidating.

Also, Alcyon can’t purr like Malaran or Erriox. Man’s still learning. Amelia finds his attempts to purr cute and endearing despite sounding like something between a broken engine, snarl, and the lowing of needy tiger (or a lowing cow).

Warmaster be like “This bunch of chucklefucks just haaaaad to start shit with the goddamn Black Templar.” Now he has to do PR and negotiations to avoid too much bad blood with the Imperial Fists in the city. All he wanted was just one week without drama. His dang fault though. This wouldn't have happened if Amelia wasn't banned from contacting her son.

Amelia knows some Gothic. She knows enough, but not a lot. That's why she was blushing when Malaran made that comment.

Does she know that Alcyon pretty much considers her his mate/ wife? Yes, from his actions, but Alcyon had never outright told her. Sometimes he would call her by those names in Gothic as a term of endearment, but never told her what they mean. However, like she mentioned in the chapter, the wounds left by previous relationship is still pretty fresh. While she loves Alcyon deeply and returns his affections, at that point, Amelia's still pretty hesitant about calling Alcyon her lover.

Malaran can and will start shit, especially if it has anything to do with Ben. Also, he can be a little shit sometimes.

Meaning in floriography of the little bouquet of yarrow (Achillea millefolium) and dandelion on Alcyon’s desk. Dandelions symbolize hope, strength, resilience, and renewal. Yarrow has the double meaning of love and healing, and can also mean “I love you in spite of everything” or everlasting love. Like dandelions, it is also considered a tough hardy weed, which is representative of Alcyon’s physical character and th resilience of the bond itself.

Alcyon gifted the flowers to her as part of his apology for the fallout from his fight with the Black Templar at Ben's school. That was a massive fuck up on his part and he knew it. At first Alcyon didn't think much of it and thought that was in his right to challenge the Black Templar, with the intention of winning back Ben for Amelia, only to realize that it cost her the last chance to see her son. With Amelia not wanting to be near him nor see him for an extended period of time, and the bond backlashing onto him, it was causing Alcyon to start to lose his mind. Luckily, Osteron intervened and managed to convince Amelia to at least meet with him again. From there, Alcyon slowly made amends for his mistake. He fell hard for this woman and formed such an intense bond, so it was something he couldn't easily give up. His brothers advised him that human women loved flowers, so he ended up picking a bunch that was available at the time and gifting it to Amelia. It wasn't much and the way he presented them to her was kind of awkward and intimidating, but it was a start and his apology was genuine, and Amelia was touched by the gesture. To say the least, they spent that night making up for lost time in his room. She decided to the flowers left behind on his desk, to add "a pop of colour" to the grey utilitarian style of the room. Alcyon couldn't help but indulge her request. He later learned about the symbolic meanings of the flowers that he gave Amelia, and found it amusing and ironically fitting for what he was trying to say when he gifted them to her.

I think that bonds can be negatively affected and broken not just by death and distance, but also by major emotional trauma. Intense bonds, like between Alcyon and Amelia, are affected by the consequences of emotional trauma more harshly than normal bonds. How it could be saved just depends on how resilient the relationship is between the two parties and/or if they are lucky enough to have someone to intervene before that bond is broken. On the other hand, it is entirely possible that the affected space marine will hunt down his bonded human in an attempt to either save the bond from being broken or quell the psychic backlash. (Possibly becoming yandere in the process)

Love to know your thoughts as well!

#warhammer 40k #space marine husbandry #space marine husbandry sentience #guesthouse of the lost astartes #iron warriors #chaos iron warriors #black legion #chaos astartes #loyalist astartes #headcanons

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heresmyfiddlestick · 8 months

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Tumblr Dr. Who Poll vs Doctor Who Magazine Poll

It's been just over a month since the end of @adventure-showdown 's monumental survey of how Tumblr feels about individual Doctor Who adventures. Across ten rounds, we sorted the wheat from the chaff, the Quarks from the Rills, and the Cousins from the Looms. I wanted to compare the results of that huge bracket with the results from last year's Doctor Who Magazine poll, which ranked each Doctor's stories individually.

The methodologies for these two were quite different (though adventure-showdown did seed the bracket with a pre-poll that used the same methodology as DWM, but I'm looking at the final poll results for my data here), so comparing them is really interesting! I'm not a statistician, I just like making spreadsheets for fun. I think what can be seen from the trends and data below is a really unique picture of two somewhat overlapping but seriously demographically distinct fragments of the fandom.

Methodologies

Poll Methodologies

The DWM poll asked readers to rank as many televised Doctor Who stories as they liked from 1 to 10. The editors then took the resulting scores for each story and put them in a ranked list for each Doctor.

adventure-showdown began with a series of Google Forms with the same method as DWM, asking internet users to rank stories from 1 to 10. adventure-showdown lumped and split stories differently to DWM: The Key to Time was included as a distinct Four story to each of its individual parts, and each of the individual parts of Trial of a Time Lord and Flux were included alongside the overarching story. Utopia was also split from The Sound of Drums/The Last of the Time Lords.

adventure-showdown used the resulting rankings to create a series of Tumblr polls, moving from a group stage into a series of head-to-head matchups. They matched stories up roughly by obscurity (keeping advertisements and musical numbers separate from audio dramas and comics, which were separate from TV spin-offs, which were separate from the TV show itself), then Doctor or era. With each new round, the matchups were scrambled within melded groups, which ultimately led to a diverse distribution of all different eras and media under the umbrella of Doctor Who throughout the tournament.

My Methodology

In order to turn adventure-showdown's poll results into something that can be compared to DWM's, I created a spreadsheet tracking how each Doctor's stories were doing, separating them first into tiers according to which round they were eliminated in, then within those tiers by how many votes they had in the matchup where they were eliminated.

In the case of some particularly tough matchups, this means that the story that got the most points throughout the entire competition is not necessarily the highest-ranked story for that Doctor. For instance, The Happiness Patrol finished #3 of the Seventh Doctor's stories according to my reckoning of the Tumblr poll, being eliminated in the fifth round with 400 votes, less than the two stories above it (which were eliminated in rounds where they got 147 and 107 votes, respectively). The Happiness Patrol saw a vigorous campaign to increase its vote count, since it was up against Blink. The post for the matchup that eliminated it currently has 304 notes as of this writing. This is one of the fun quirks of this execrise.

General Trends

Where We Agree

The Ninth Doctor shows very stable story rankings between DWM and Tumblr.

On average, the difference in rankings for each episode of 9 is 5%, with only 2 out of 10 stories actually moving up or down the rankings at all. The Sixth Doctor is similar: only 3 of his 8 stories (included in the DWM poll, meaning not counting the individual parts of Trial) moved by more than 1 ranking. The Seventh Doctor only had 4 of his 12 stories move by more than 1 ranking.

On the flipside, Tumblr's opinions differ from DWM most regarding the First, Fifth, and Eleventh Doctors. The only stories that stayed relatively stable across both rankings for these Doctors are as follows.

For the First Doctor, only 4 out of 29 didn't shift by more than 1 ranking: #2 The Time Meddler, #5 The Tenth Planet (#6 in DWM), #18 The Keys of Marinus, and #20 The Reign of Terror (#19 in DWM) For the Fifth Doctor, we agreed only 5 times out of 20: #1 The Caves of Androzani, #2 The Five Doctors (#3 in DWM), #11 Frontios, #14 Black Orchid, and #17 Arc of Infinity (#16 in DWM) For Eleven, 5 of his 39 stories stayed relatively stable: #1 Vincent and the Doctor (#2 in DWM), #4 The Eleventh Hour (#3 in DWM), #9 Amy's Choice, #14 The Snowmen (#13 in DWM), and #39 The Doctor, the Widow, and the Wardrobe.

As you'll see further below, there is usually agreement between both polls about at least one episode that is in the top and bottom 3 or 4 for each Doctor, so these extremes represent the battle over ordering the ones generally ranked in the middle.

We Hate Daleks

As a general trend, Tumblr seems to think less of Dalek stories than the general DWM readership.

Out of 26 stories with Daleks as the primary antagonist, only 8 did not drop by more than 1 slot between the DWM poll and the Tumblr bracket (that is The Chase, Genesis of the Daleks, Remembrance of the Daleks, Dalek, Bad Wolf/The Parting of the Ways, Daleks in Manhattan/Evolution of the Daleks, The Magician's Apprentice/The Witch's Familiar, and Eve of the Daleks). DIM/Evolution actually ranked 3 slots higher on Tumblr than the magazine, while TMA/TWF and Eve finished significantly higher on Tumblr than in the magazine, cracking into the top 5 for their respective Doctors.

We Love The Master

Meanwhile, out of 26 stories featuring the Master, either as the primary antagonist or as an important character, only two dropped by more than one place in the rankings (The End of Time and The Power of the Doctor), while the others either stayed put or increased their positions, some by quite a lot (e.g. The Time Monster (up 20 slots in the Third Doctor rankings), The Keeper of Traken (up 8 slots in the Fourth Doctor rankings), Planet of Fire (up 6 spots in the Fifth Doctor rankings), and The Magician's Apprentice/The Witch's Familiar (up 9 spots in the Twelfth Doctor rankings)).

We Have No Easily Observable Feelings About the Cybermen

Out of 18 Cyberman stories, 9 fell in the rankings between DWM and Tumblr, while 5 stayed within 1 rank of the DWM poll, and 4 rose. If I had to venture a hypothesis based on my unscientific qualitative analysis, it looks like Tumblr marked down most of the Classic Who Cyberman stories (only The Tenth Planet, The Invasion, and Attack staying within 1 rank of the DWM poll), while the only ones that rose in the ranks were New Who stories (Rise/The Age of Steel, Closing Time, Nightmare in Silver, and Dark Water/Death in Heaven-- though of course this last one is also a Master story, which we know we love).

Superlatives

Here are the stories that showed the biggest positive and negative difference in their rankings between the DWM poll and the Tumblr bracket, for each Doctor:

First Doctor

Biggest jump: #10 The Sensorites (up from #27 in DWM) Biggest fall: #28 The Crusade (down from #13 in DWM)

Second Doctor

Biggest jump: #8 The Highlanders (up from #16 in DWM) Biggest fall: #14 The Evil of the Daleks (down from #14 in DWM)

Third Doctor

Biggest jump: #4 The Time Monster (up from #24 in DWM) Biggest fall: #21 Day of the Daleks (down from #11 in DWM)

Fourth Doctor

Biggest jump: #7 The Horns of Nimon (up from #40 in DWM) Biggest fall: #36 The Talons of Weng-Chiang (down from #5 in DWM)

Fifth Doctor

Biggest jump: #8 Planet of Fire (up from #14) Biggest fall: #15 Resurrection of the Daleks (down from #6)

Sixth Doctor

Biggest jump: #1 The Mark of the Rani (up from #5 in DWM) Biggest fall: #6 Revelation of the Daleks (down from #1 in DWM) [NB: not counting each part of Trial, since DWM didn't include them - though The Ultimate Foe ranked #10 on Tumblr while Trial itself ranked #4 in DWM, so that could be another option for this superlative]

Seventh Doctor

Biggest jump: #3 The Happiness Patrol (up from #7 in DWM) Biggest fall: #12 Silver Nemesis (down from #9 in DWM)

Ninth Doctor

Biggest jump: #5 The End of the World (up from #7 in DWM) Biggest fall: #7 Rose (down from #5 in DWM)

Tenth Doctor

Biggest jump: #17 42 (up from #31 in DWM) Biggest fall: #29 The Girl in the Fireplace (down from #7 in DWM) [NB: adventure-showdown split Utopia and The Sound of Drums/Last of the Time Lords where DWM didn't, which both placed above these two stories.]

Eleventh Doctor

Biggest jump: #13 The Rings of Akhaten (up from #34 in DWM) Biggest fall: #36 The Crimson Horror (down from #18 in DWM)

Twelfth Doctor

Biggest jump: #20 The Eaters of Light (up from #30 in DWM) Biggest fall: #18 The Zygon Invasion/The Zygon Inversion (down from #7 in DWM)

Thirteenth Doctor

Biggest jump: TIE #1 Demons of the Punjab (up from #5), #2 Spyfall (up from #6), and #3 Eve of the Daleks (up from #7) Biggest fall: #15 Rosa (down from #4) [NB: not counting each part of Flux, since DWM didn't include them - though The Vanquishers ranked #29 on Tumblr while Flux itself ranked #12 in DWM, so that could be another option for this superlative]

Definitive Bests and Worsts

Here, then, are each Doctor's commonly agreed-upon best and worst stories: that is, those stories ranked in each Doctor's top/bottom 10% (minimum 3) in each poll, and where both polls overlap. Lists are alphabetical.

First Doctor (top/bottom 3)

Best Both agree: The Time Meddler Tumblr: The Edge of Destruction, The Romans DWM: The Dalek Invasion of Earth, The Daleks' Master Plan Worst Tumblr: The Crusade, The Savages, The Smugglers DWM: The Sensorites, The Space Museum, The Web Planet

Second Doctor (top/bottom 3)

Best Both agree: The War Games Tumblr: The Enemy of the World, The Mind Robber DWM: The Power of the Daleks, Tomb of the Cybermen Worst Both agree: The Dominators, The Space Pirates Tumblr: The Krotons DWM: The Underwater Menace

Third Doctor (top/bottom 3)

Best Both agree: The Green Death Tumblr: The Dæmons, The Three Doctors DWM: Inferno, Spearhead from Space Worst Both agree: The Mutants Tumblr: Death to the Daleks, Planet of the Daleks DWM: The Monster of Peladon, The Time Monster

Fourth Doctor (top/bottom 4)

Best Both agree: City of Death, Genesis of the Daleks, Robots of Death Tumblr: The Horror of Fang Rock DWM: Pyramids of Mars Worst Both agree: The Power of Kroll, Underworld Tumblr: Nightmare of Eden, Revenge of the Cybermen DWM: The Horns of Nimon, Meglos

Fifth Doctor (top/bottom 3)

Best Both agree: The Caves of Androzani, The Five Doctors Tumblr: Enlightenment DWM: Earthshock Worst Both agree: Time-Flight Tumblr: The Awakening, Four to Doomsday DWM: The King's Demons, Warriors of the Deep

Sixth Doctor (top/bottom 3)

Best Both agree: Vengeance on Varos Tumblr: The Mark of the Rani, Trial of a Time Lord (considered as a whole) Worst Both agree: Timelash, The Twin Dilemma Tumblr: The Ultimate Evil (specifically) DWM: Attack of the Cybermen

Seventh Doctor (top/bottom 3)

Best Both agree: Remembrance of the Daleks, Survival Tumblr: The Happiness Patrol DWM: The Curse of Fenric Worst Both agree: Delta and the Bannermen, Time and the Rani Tumblr: Silver Nemesis DWM: Paradise Towers

Ninth Doctor (top/bottom 3)

Best Both agree: Bad Wolf/The Parting of Ways, Dalek, The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances Worst Both agree: Aliens of London/World War Three, Boom Town, The Long Game

Tenth Doctor (top/bottom 4)

Best Both agree: Blink, Midnight, Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead Tumblr: The Fires of Pompeii DWM: Human Nature/The Family of Blood Worst Both agree: The Idiot's Lantern, The Lazarus Experiment Tumblr: The Next Doctor, The Shakespeare Code DWM: Fear Her, Love & Monsters

Eleventh Doctor (top/bottom 4)

Best Both agree: The Eleventh Hour, The Pandorica Opens, Vincent and the Doctor Tumblr: The Doctor's Wife DWM: Day of the Doctor Worst Both agree: The Doctor, the Widow, and the Wardrobe Tumblr: The Crimson Horror, Night Terrors, Victory of the Daleks DWM: The Curse of the Black Spot, Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS, Nightmare in Silver

Twelfth Doctor (top/bottom 4)

Best Both agree: Heaven Sent, Mummy on the Orient Express, World Enough and Time/The Doctor Falls Tumblr: The Husbands of River Song DWM: Flatline Worst Both agree: In the Forest of the Night, Kill the Moon, Sleep No More Tumblr: The Lie of the Land DWM: The Woman Who Lived

Thirteenth Doctor (top/bottom 3)

[Villa Diodati gif included because there is no overlap in the two polls' top 3 for Thirteen, however this episode ranked #4 on Tumblr and #2 in DWM, so it is the closest overlap at the top.]

Best Both agree: None! Tumblr: Eve of the Daleks, Demons of the Punjab, Spyfall DWM: Fugitive of the Judoon, The Haunting of Villa Diodati, The Power of the Doctor Worst Both agree: The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos, Orphan 55 Tumblr: The Vanquishers (on its own) DWM: Legend of the Sea Devils

...What about Eight?

Who said that? I thought you had all gone. You shouldn't scare me like that. Well, you see, the Eighth Doctor only has two televised appearances in which he features, and only one of those was included in the DWM poll. This post is about comparing the two polls. I can't really do anything...

Ah, alright.

Televised Appearances

We ranked The Night of the Doctor above the TV Movie. Night made it all the way to round 6, while the TV Movie was out in Round 2, losing with 266 votes to Jubilee, which then lost to Scherzo in the next round. Night lost to Bad Wolf/The Parting of the Ways, which had 344 votes to Night's 204.

Audios

Scherzo made it to the quarter-finals of the Tumblr poll! It lost out to Midnight 435 to 581, the first TV episode it encountered in adventure-showdown's very intricate media-segregating bracket.

Caerdroia made it to round 7, losing to Scherzo after it had beaten out Father's Day in round 6 (299-280) and the much-loved SJA episode The Curse of Clyde Langer in round 5.

The Natural History of Fear made it to round 6, finally losing out to Blink (253-352), and making it the top-scoring Eight audio to go out in this round.

The Chimes of Midnight also got to round 6, finally just losing to Remembrance of the Daleks (163-166); in the same round, Zagreus lost to Scherzo (131-210) just after it had beaten Genesis of the Daleks (132-103) in round 5.

The next highest-ranked Eight* audio is Solitaire (a Companion Chronicle, hence the asterisk), which was eliminated in round 5, losing to Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead (180-43).

It's worth noting here, that Doctor Who and the Pirates also made it to round 6, making it the highest-ranked non-Eighth Doctor audio. It lost to City of Death (170-78). The next-highest ranked audios are The Marian Conspiracy (lost in Round 5 to The Wedding of Sarah-Jane Smith), The Holy Terror (lost in Round 5 to The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances), and A Death in the Family (lost in Round 5 to The Natural History of Fear). Congratulations to Evelyn Smythe.

Novels

The EDA Alien Bodies managed to make it to round 6, finally being eliminated by Turn Left with 145 votes to 264. It had just beaten out Time Crash in the previous round. This makes it the highest-ranked Doctor Who novel overall, according to this Tumblr tournament.

The next-highest novel for the Eighth Doctor was Unnatural History, which was defeated in round 5 by The Chimes of Midnight.

Below that, there were five EDAs eliminated in round 4:

Interference (lost with 41 votes to Scherzo's 85)

Mad Dogs and Englishmen (lost with 38 votes to The Marian Conspiracy's 56)

The Adventuress of Henrietta Street (lost with 28 votes to A Death in the Family's 54)

Camera Obscura (lost with 27 votes to Lungbarrow's 47)

The Scarlet Empress (lost with 22 votes to The Chimes of Midnight's 102)

Comics

I hadn't actually been tracking any of this Eight stuff, so I'm having to squint through the backlog and this is already much too long. So you're only getting two: The Land of Happy Endings is the Eighth Doctor comic that made it the farthest in the Tumblr competition, being eliminated in round 3 by An Adventure in Space and Time (46 votes to 95). The Flood also made it to round 3, where it was eliminated by the Thirteenth Doctor comic Old Friends, gaining 39 votes against Old Friends' 47.

#doctor who #classic who #big finish #eighth doctor #jodie whittaker #thirteenth doctor #christopher eccleston #ninth doctor #many interesting things here #will reblog with analysis

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kimdokjas · 1 year

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why you should read Mystic Prince if you enjoyed ORV

Mystic Prince / Prince of Myolyeong (묘령의 황자) is a fantasy and action-adventure manhwa with art & story by Aheuredal (아흐레달) and in my humble opinion, an absolute hidden gem. it's literally one the best manhwas i've ever read (among the top 2) and i've finally gathered my thoughts enough to try to articulate why i love it so much, and hopefully convince you to give it a chance!

here's the official summary on webtoon:

An immortal emperor rules the Kingdom of Yeol, a divine country blessed by gods with awesome powers. After a thousand years of peaceful rule, the time has come for a new emperor to be chosen. This is determined by a series of trials, in which twenty princes with special powers who have trained since birth must compete. As all princes of varying personalities and agendas gather to partake in the trials, intrigue and possibly even bloodshed seem all but certain. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the other princes, the Fourth Prince Jeok-yeon Ryu hides a secret he must guard with his life.

anyway i literally made a carrd for this, that's how much i care about this manhwa and i worked very hard on it!! you can find the carrd here*

(* also if you hate daily pass like me pls note that there's a fan translation as well! just keep in mind that some episodes have ost but you can find the links to youtube on the carrd as well. but if you enjoy it please do try to leave likes, comments, and a good rating on webtoon to support the creator!)

Mystic Prince is incredibly unique in terms of story and execution that i can't really compare it to anything else but here's why i think you'll enjoy it, especially if you also liked orv:

strong-willed MC who's not naturally skilled but works extremely hard

said MC is willing to suffer and hurt themselves to achieve their goals (aka kim dokja-esque tendencies)

seemingly cold and aloof ML with yoo joonghyuk vibes at first, naturally gifted and seems to look down on everyone

...but is actually head over heels for MC and just doesn't know how to express his feelings

ensemble cast of incredibly complex and well-developed characters with different personalities and motivations

MC seems a little dense at times but they have a tragic backstory that explains why they're Like That

incredibly bisexual vibes !! like literally off the charts

slowburn romance that is cooking up such a great meal

MC and ML have actually known each other for centuries

characters go through trials that involve risking death

extremely unique lore and world-building

i said ML before but there are actually multiple potential MLs with how much complexity all the character dynamics have

beautiful character designs (literally over 10+ within the main cast and they're all so unique)

evocative writing and heartfelt monologues that seem taken out of a book of pure poetry

narratively significant motifs of fire and water (à la orv's black/white and reader/protagonist)

profound and realistic depiction of the inner feelings and troubles that the characters go through

incredibly heart-wrenching original soundtrack! (actually made me cry)

some of the most gorgeous art i've seen in any manhwa (seriously pls just open the 1st episode and look at the first few panels)

[spoilers below for chapter ~10]

delicious gender fuckery

MC is actually cross-dressing afab (i personally hc them as genderqueer; korean doesn't have gendered pronouns but the official tl uses she/her pronouns)

bonus: they're built like a fucking tank (as seen here) like hello??? which is so refreshing to see for an afab MC

plus they're also canonically lacking in empathy but still deeply compassionate which again is really refreshing

i'm sure there's even more stuff i'm forgetting but these are just some reasons off the top of my head why i think this manhwa is so amazing

please do give Mystic Prince a chance, it's an absolute delight!! there are multiple beautiful covers but here's a couple of them, BE ART BAITED <3

and finally some of my personal reactions to Mystic Prince and also a note regarding the content warnings under the cut!

feel free to skip this part lol but personally when i look for recs, i love when people tell me their emotional reactions and how passionate they are about it! so if this tells you anything,

this is the ONLY manhwa to have made me cry so far (yes that includes the orv webtoon, but not the novel ofc) like actually ugly sobbing with snot and tears and everything lmao

(it's not all sad though! this manhwa will have you clutching your heart one moment and then cackling out loud the next)

and it's also the ONLY manhwa i've ever spent actual money on before the fan tl picked it up just so i could read the advanced chapters (i'm notoriously cheap so this says a lot imo)

and i'm not alone in this, every other comment on webtoon is people saying the exact same thing. the general consensus is that this is 100% a hidden gem (webtoon DP my behated why'd you have to shoot yourself in the foot like that)

also regarding the content warnings on the carrd: this was my first time making a list of cws (i don't think anyone else has made one yet?) and i was a little hesitant to add them, so i sincerely apologize if i missed anything!! if anyone else has anything else to add (cws or otherwise) then please feel free to send me a message and i'll be happy to edit it!!

(btw this was inspired by this post which is also a great summary for why u should read a cnovel called mist unlimited)

#mystic prince #prince of myolyeong #orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #webtoon #manhwa #manhwa recommendation #묘령의 황자 #gabby speaks

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jackravenblood · 26 days

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Akane Aoi's yandere gag, how first impression and early writing defined a character in Fandom eyes

Dedicated to Rai, Grapesoda, Null, and Magim on Discord, for all their efforts including editing/proofreading this post as well as keeping an open mind about my late-night TBHK yaps. This analysis wouldn't have been possible without the consistent editing and corrections by Rai and Null.

Disclaimer: This post is not a complete Akane character analysis, but rather an attempt to analyze the reason why a section of the TBHK community interprets his character through a very specific view.

For the longest time within the Fandom, people have viewed Akane through various angles and have crafted many views of him throughout the years. A ‘’yandere freak’, an innocent kid who just wants to protect his childhood friend, or maybe a flawed person trying to do the best given his circumstances. Whether you hate him, love him, or are neutral about his character, there is no denying the way people interpret Akane, which defines how they will feel about him as a character and his development since his debut. For most fans, Akane has become their favorite character; an endearing sassy boy with high moral upstanding but willing to do anything for his love. For other fans, he’s still a creepy, unreliable, obsessive person; just like how he was initially introduced. In this sort of analysis, I want to present my case on why there are people who remain distrustful and dislike him and the interpretation that places itself heavily through the view of his ‘yandere’ gag.

I. The introduction of Akane and the ‘yandere’ gag

Akane’s introduction is straightforward: He fiercely loves Aoi Akane. Akane has had a crush on Aoi since their pre-school days. He constantly praises her, he asks her out every day only to be ‘rejected’ by Aoi, yet he continues to love her all the same. Akane would do anything for her, even if it meant it pushed him to his absolute limit. Akane also tends to get physical to “protect” Aoi, which causes some fans to interpret his character as yandere-like.

Most characters in TBHK have a certain gag attributed to their characters; Hanako is a pervert, Teru is bad at cooking, Mitsuba with his cute/feminine appearance contrasting his blunt personality, etc. Akane’s obsession with Aoi is his gag; Aidairo spends a decent amount of time highlighting this trait in the Clock Keepers Arc. This arc is one of the manga series’ earliest ones, it leaves an impression that will last on most readers. Although Akane’s obsession is played off as a gag — we don’t see Akane acting like this post-severance/present TBHK, as we will see near the end of this analysis.

However, Akane's expressive way of loving Aoi is not out of nowhere with Aoi consistently, throughout the story, giving him "points" for his effort when we see them together. Akane’s obsession with Aoi is also not shallow, nor only exaggerated for comedy purposes. It’s shown throughout TBHK that Akane’s adoration for Aoi is genuine.

But the impression of Akane being a ‘‘yandere’’ has sunk into almost everyone's by the point “The Three Clock Keepers” Arc ended. While his character is heavily intertwined with his ‘yandere’ gag, this trait is not meant to be taken seriously, given that Akane often acts like an unreliable narrator. For some fans, it might be hard to reconcile the image of a sincere, devoted Akane with his ‘yandere’ gag constantly shown throughout the manga before the Grim Reaper arc.

This isn’t a great lasting impression of Akane, as we will see later in the story.

From The Hell of Mirrors arc to the Picture Perfect arc (29 chapters), we focus solely on Mitsuba, Kou, Nene, and Hanako. His appearance during these arcs usually reinforces the fact that his love for Aoi is solid. After the Clock Keepers arc, (and leading up to the Grim Reaper Arc) there is little to no new information about Akane, nor any character development from him.

While these bonuses and scenes are for strictly comedic purposes, they still push his heavy obsession with Aoi deeper into the reader's mind. After the clock keepers arc, Akane disappears from our radar completely. During his brief absence, we, the readers, have time to digest Akane's current character until the Grim Reaper arc. In the meantime, we also had HSHK and this page in particular:

Here, Akane is portrayed as an actual ‘yandere’ (compared to his tame obsession in the main manga series); someone who will hurt others for the sake of their love. But we must remember that HSHK is a light-hearted spinoff, and its stories are supposed to be comedic to lighten the tension of the main manga. The canonicity of AHSK can also be debated; but in any case, it further reinforces that Akane’s gag isn’t meant to be taken seriously, nor is he an actual ‘yandere’. However, it also has the opposite effect, that it is much more visible, which reinforces the image of Akane as a ‘yandere’ character in the readers’ minds.

Keeping all of this in mind, we went straight into the Grim Reaper arc with these conclusions. The arc initially started normally, with Akane doing everything he could to outmatch Teru — trying his best to prevent him from confessing to Aoi. His adoration for Aoi is shown further in the camp preparation scenes during chapters 59 and 60. All and all, these are expected behaviors from him.

However, when Aoi gets abducted by Hakubo, Akane completely drops his ‘yandere’ gag. He becomes solemn, his only goal being to rescue Aoi as he reluctantly works with Nene to help her. We even get to see him fight Aoi head-on (something the audience would never expect before this chapter) — which brings us to the “Aoikane Chapter”: Chapter 69.

Chapter 69’s (haha nice) purpose is to be very emotional. A conversation between two broken people, trying to make sense of their love for each other and the world around them again. We get to see Aoi’s true nature and feelings behind the scenes, and yet Akane wholeheartedly confesses his love to Aoi, saying that he’s always known of her facade and that he’s always loved her, nonetheless. In short, it is not just a very pivotal moment for Aoi’s and Akane's relationship, it is also important for them as characters.

It would have been perfect if we ignored the entire section of what I explained about the writing of Akane before the Grim Reaper Arc.

Up to that point, there are subtle hints about Akane’s true nature but it’s never big nor consistent enough and is overshadowed by the constant joke about his expressive love for Aoi.

We’re also hit with this bonus after Chapter 70

Even after the rollercoaster of chapter 69 and the effort to drop the Aoi-crazed ‘yandere’ gag of Akane, the comedy of Akane's expressive love for Aoi remains.

II. Interpretation through a ‘yandere’ view

For many readers, this is a very contradictory image of Akane. One side of Akane is a serious childhood friend who loves Aoi unconditionally, understands all her flaws, and wants to be there for her. The other side of Akane is that the character is still being used as an extension of the old ‘yandere’ gag.

The two sides of his character's development are incompatible with each other and make what is supposed to be a step-up of developing Akane’s personality into a confusing image of Akane; riddled with contradictions within his character and jokes over how he expresses his love to Aoi.

For most, this is the way they perceive Akane, especially people who have already disliked Akane for a long time. This gag had become an integral part of his character. The lack of a proper background story and constant gags at the expense of one of the most important traits of his character (His love for Aoi) has deepened the image of an unreliable narrator that most would go as far as seeing his actions as manipulative, hypocritical, and more.

Unlike Hanako's “pervert gag” and his ‘obsessiveness’ with Nene (in which said gag was not played as Hanako’s entire character and we get a thorough view of why he acts like that in the manga), Akane hadn’t gotten any near the amount of screen time that could’ve been used to explain his actions and build up an understanding of his character to anticipate for something like chapter 69. This has to do with the limitation of space for building his characters (A problem that characters like Teru and Aoi also face) and AidaIro mostly writing him out of the story during and after the Three Clock Keepers (who was still at the time presented as a secondary character) to focus on the main cast. His screen time after The Three Clock Keepers arc (minus the brief exam prep chapter before the Grim Reaper arc) had been continually used for a cheap comedic effect instead of deepening his motive and expanding his relationships with the world around him, especially the one with Aoi.

The impact of his ‘yandere’ gag is damaging his character because it overplayed itself to highlight a big part of his character. His love for Aoi has been genuine, but the way it has been portrayed has led many to doubt it, it makes Akane's early characterization to be solely dependent on his crush on Aoi instead of being on his own. This has favored an approach that explores Akane that considers his ‘yandere’ gag, and sometimes, turns it into his entire personality. For most simply run with this: Akane is only a ‘yandere’, his love for Aoi is his whole personality and his character is just terribly executed. This flawed way of viewing Akane that has been debunked repeatedly, whether it’s canon or by other fans (examples are analyses of his character written by @MusicalMoritz and @mari-lair on Tumblr). It’s also important to note that unlike actual yanderes portrayed in other manga (think of characters such as Yuno Gasai, Himiko Toga, or Yamai Ren), Akane’s gag is much, much tamer in comparison.

Other, more sympathetic, interpretations painted Akane in a more nuanced light, dating back to the time he was tricked into the service of the Clock Keepers and how his love for Aoi has turned from genuine feelings for her, into something to clung on under this fate, to make sense of the twist of fate that has pushed him into where he is now. There are other views with each on various degrees of trying to analyze Akane through his ‘yandere’ gag. III. Post-chapter 69 and the character development/expansion of Akane.

Chapter 69 has always been the defining moment of how people look at Akane as a character. Most readers love this climax of Akane’s character (and Aokane’s relationship), while others do not buy it. Regardless, after this chapter, we received more and more information about Akane and his true feelings.

As Aoi and Akane try to leave the far shore in chapter 70, Aoi apologizes for what she has done in previous chapters, while Akane tries to reassure her that it is not her fault. He still shows that he knows how she feels and is always willing to be there for her.

Many have taken this as Akane trying to ignore Aoi’s problems, but taken in the context of what they were doing, it was an attempt to calm her down after the traumatic situation both of them went through, and to show his support for her to apologize and explain herself to the others after they return to the real world.

After that, we also see Aoi wishing to go to a zoo and see giraffes when she returns. Despite Akane being surprised by the topic, He still supports her endeavor to live as her real self again.

But when they finally reach back to the real world, Akane turns around and realizes that Aoi is not there.

After hearing Teru's words, Akane’s usually calm demeanor broke apart immediately. The horror in his eyes, his instant rage, his overwhelming fear when he realized that Aoi was stuck at the far shore. That he feels like he has failed to protect Aoi, again.

Trying to seek an answer, any answer, he asks Teru this:

Akane can’t accept that he is seemingly alive, but Aoi is gone. Of all the people who needed to be saved, it was him that Teru chose.

However, he didn’t let his rage blind him and instead used it to understand Teru's reasons for his choices, instead of trying to kill Teru or even be hostile toward him. Akane has already used his experiences and observation skills to realize how Teru never does anything without a backup plan. While he does love Aoi tremendously, he’s still smart enough to understand Teru's plan.

During the shrine visit with Teru, Akane even shows further detachment from the gag that has defined his early characterization.

Akane’s expression here is strangely calm and genuine, unlike his hostility in the earlier chapters when he tried to stop Teru from confessing to Aoi. Unlike the Teru “threatening” situation that made Akane feel that Teru was just toying with Aoi to mess with his feelings, Akane here is very respectful and curious about Teru's feelings toward Aoi, as he starts to understand that Teru does genuinely care for Aoi. Even though he is suspicious of Teru after the exorcist's answers are very cryptic, he still smiles and even pokes fun at Teru's situation.

In the current Alteration arc, we have seen how Akane refused to turn back into the old timeline despite the prospect of an arranged marriage between Teru and Aoi within the current timeline. All of this would have been unthinkable during Akane's early development. Although this comes too late to change the readers’ views of Akane before chapter 69, it is still a part of the journey, and it shows how far our little sassy half-supernatural Clock Keeper has gone as a character and should be treated fairly when we analyze him. IV. Conclusion

In conclusion, the development of Akane as a character has been a difficult journey to make sense of due to the limitations of the manga, AidaIro’s writing direction, and more (though going more in-depth warrants another analysis of AidaIro’s writing choices). This has led to a failure in building up his character early on, leaning too heavily into gags and jokes about his love for Aoi.

This interpretation of Akane through his ‘yandere’ gag persists but has changed to account for new additions to his lore, however, there are still readers who remain dismissive of his character development after the Grim Reaper arc. I believe that despite the opinions on the execution of his character, it is important for us to keep an open mind and consider the current canon as well as the multiple viewing across the fandom in future understanding of Akane in discussion or fan works made of him. P/S: This is my first ever analysis of a media I love. I want to thank everyone who’s read this far (you just wasted 15-30 minutes of your life!) I would like to personally thank the friends that I have made through our sheer obsession with TBHK and its characters:

Grapesoda for being the first person willing to talk extensively about my TBHK ideas with me, be it AUs, HCs, or interpretations. It has been a pleasure to yap about Aoinene with her. I wouldn’t have started writing TBHK fan content without her early support for it. Rai for having constant strokes (/j) while editing the initial dumpster fire of a draft and our uncountable nights of constant debate around the TBHK characters. She has given me many insights about Akane as a character and without those talks these thoughts would have never crossed my mind. She has taught me a lot about how to broaden my views. It was a lesson in a way that culminated in this analysis. Null for editing to make this more readable, I hope that this analysis is much better than my early rambling about Akane with you. Magim for being one of the finest TBHK theorists I ever have had the pleasure to talk to, our late-night talks have pushed my ideas about TBHK characters to a limit I never thought was possible.

Without them and Rai, I wouldn't have the courage or the knowledge to write this analysis.

#tbhk #jibaku shounen hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun #akane aoi #aoi akane #analysis (sorta)#jshk #im going crazy fr fr

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aszles · 2 months

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since my first pinned post had a tierlist of csm characters, i decided to redo it as a tierlist of Fujimoto works instead! (i had only read csm when i made this sideblog) it's a lot less ever-changing so i feel a bit safer keeping something like this at the top of my blog lol...

within the tiers there is no specific order, they're just the things i happened to put in first. if you wanna make one here's the template! (made by yours truly)

because i'm a nerd you can read my opinions about each work below the cut~

S TIER

Chainsaw Man - i mean, csm is just awesome. in all honesty, this manga has changed my life. i KNOW that sounds silly and corny but it's genuinely true. i have been able to get past a lot of my struggles and develop so much as a person since starting this manga. as a fun bonus i feel like i've finally started improving my art again (or at least changing it enough to feel fresh) after like 3 years. i can't really describe how much csm has done for me, but if i had told myself from 2021 that this would happen i would never believe it (especially because i had written off this series for some personal reasons...lol) but yeah. i think i'll forever be grateful for what Chainsaw Man has done for me.

Look Back - i think Look Back is seriously the best piece of media i have ever experienced. i don't think i have ever seen a story so beautifully crafted as this manga, it made me sob when i read it. i remember having to move the manga away from myself so i wouldn't get tears on it. at the time of writing this i am SO SO excited to watch the movie, whenever that will be. i will cry and throw up watching that thing LOL.

Nayuta of the Prophecy - ok maybe i don't TECHNICALLY believe this is an S tier work, but Nayuta is just such a lovable character that i can't possibly rank her any lower. Fujimoto was right to adapt her into csm because she deserves it!! however despite that, this oneshot is the only one that i genuinely wish he would make a sequel to. i think oneshot Nayuta and csm Nayuta are pretty different, so they still don't feel like the same character - i would love to see oneshot Nayuta's personality and relationship with her brother continue to develop!

A TIER

Sisters - one of the few other works i had heard anything about before i started exploring Fujimoto's other stuff, and i definitely felt apprehensive about it. but wow, the fact that Fujimoto is able to take the concept of "girl non-consensually paints her sister naked and it gets displayed on the school wall for everyone to see" and NOT make it weird is crazy! a sweet oneshot that i enjoyed, and love the nuance that was able to be created in such a short amount of time.

Woke-Up-as-a-Girl Syndrome - a really cute take on a silly trope that can often be handled... oddly. i love how much the characters in this really feel like teenagers, doing stupid things but being completely earnest all the while. (Spoilers) i really like how it ends with Toshihide being adamant that he is still male, and also Rie still loving him as he is. very sweet!

Love is Blind - it's no wonder Fujimoto won an honourable mention for this, it's such an adorable and funny oneshot. i was giggling the whole time reading it! i don't really have much to say about it, but i definitely enjoyed it.

Fire Punch - i don't really know where to start with Fire Punch, but wow. it is seriously so impressive to me how good Fujimoto is at tackling such sensitive topics, not shying away from them while also clearly not glorifying them. i also think a big place where Fire Punch shines is character relationships, especially Agni and Togata. they fucked me UPPPPP. it goes off the rails a bit near the end, but i also never got the feeling that it WASN'T what Fujimoto intended with this series. i may not quite get the ending, but it didn't ruin anything for me and i think the rest of Fire Punch is really good at what it does. plus the art is AWESOME ?????

B TIER

Goodbye, Eri - ohhh people might not like me for this one... i'm sorry guys, i just honestly didn't get this manga. i'll definitely reread in the future (me and my sister still haven't finished our sticky notes to read it blurry/clear) but for now i can't rank it any higher. i didn't feel much reading it, and the ending definitely confused me a lot lol. love the art though!

Shikaku - this one's interesting! i thought the story was quite cute, and Shikaku herself is completely adorable. though Yugeru is ummm... not my type let's say. i also do wonder if Makima took any inspiration from Shikaku - she looks similar to her, which to be fair for Fujimoto works probably doesn't mean much (as a lot of his character's look similar to each other /pos), but a clearer comparison is both characters presenting eyeballs they stole from people. (also... if Makima is inspired by Shikaku, is Barem then inspired by Yugeru? yuck) anyways just my speculation, back to the point. the reason this doesn't make its way into A tier is because to me it doesn't really feel like a Fujimoto work? i'm not sure why, but yeah.

C TIER

Mermaid Rhapsody - this one's definitely cute, but as a result of Fujimoto trying to create a "normal story" it unfortunately loses all of the charm of Fujimoto works!! i want it to be weird and fucked up damnit!!!!! though he did succeed in his goal of creating a normal story, so i can't complain too much lol.

Sasaki Stopped a Bullet - i don't have anything against this oneshot, but i think it just doesn't particularly appeal to me. unfortunately nothing in this story grabbed me

D TIER

A Couple Clucking Chickens Were Still Kickin' in the Schoolyard - it's no real surprise this is here, considering it's Fujimoto's first work. overall it was pretty cute, but i'm not all that into aliens..? not much to say lol

if you read all this then thank you >_o

#chainsaw man #csm #fire punch #look back #look back manga #goodbye eri #sayonara eri #tatsuki fujimoto #fujimoto tatsuki #my stuff

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wrathkitty · 3 months

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Story/Series Masterlist

Hellooo! Thanks for stumbling onto this. My fandoms primarily are The Mandalorian and Star Trek: TNG, but there's also The Last of Us, Avengers, Portal 2, and The Good Place. I try to stick as closely to the original source material as possible, I know the canon and the characters, and probably throw in more Easter eggs and other blink-and-you'll-miss-it references than I should.

If you're one for strong and snarky Readers/OFCs (here there be swearing), slow burns (envision a glacier), angst (it's a good kind of pain), and humor (lulz), then this is probably a good place to come waste some time. 👻

* Current works in progress *

Short Debts Make Long Friends - (The Mandalorian; Din Djarin/Reader)

An over-educated, underpaid millennial finally gets to go on her first adventure. 1.6k kudos on Ao3. POV Mando and Reader.

Why Don't You Sit Right Down and Stay Awhile - One-shots from "Short Debts" that admittedly are the walking definition of 'crack treated seriously'

- Can Your Helmet Play Elevator Music? - Oh, This is Much Worse- ...It was a Custom Piece

Completed stories:

Hello, My Dear - (Star Trek: TNG; Reader/Q)

Stories of the life and times of Q and his mortal more-than-just-a-friend, Ensign Reader. Because being omnipotent doesn’t mean a thing when it comes to relationships. POV Q and Reader.

As Q Like It - One-shots from "Hello, My Dear," which primarily remain within in TNG but also wander into Voyager and other territories, but none beyond the Neutral Zone

- Shoo, Q! - TNG; Lower Decks; POV Ensign - Does the Other Party In This Scenario Go By Some Form of Epithet, Identification, or Nomenclature? - TNG; POV Data - You Have Three Choices - TNG; POV Q - That Wasn't the Actual Question - TNG; POV Reader - Do I Always Have to Have a Reason to Stop By? - TNG; POV Reader - I Haven't the Vaguest Idea of What You're Talking About - TNG, POV Q - Silver Q - Picard, POV Q

To My Brother, Thor, Whom I Slept With - (Avengers; Loki & Thor)

One-shots about the shenanigans of a young Loki and Thor, and why the young princes of Asgard are the best birth control ever. Primarily Loki's POV, but also occasionally POV Odin and Frigga regretting their choices)

- Great Aunt Snotra's Funeral- A Midnight Lesson in the Current Events of Midgard - The People vs. The Brothers Odinson, or That Time Loki Thought It Was a Bright Idea to Appear on Daytime TV - One Flew Over the Ravens' Nest (Even the Gods Can Be - Psychoanalyzed)

Come Downstairs and Say Hello - (Portal 2; Chell/Wheatley)

With Wheatley in tow, Chell might as well write "DISPENSE PRODUCT HERE" on her shirt and throw herself in front of a turret...but she can't leave him behind, either. POV Chell, Wheatley, and GLaDOS.

Other works in progress that I don't have the heart to admit to myself are probably on permanent hiatus:

Bang, Zoom, Straight to the Moon - (The Last of Us; Joel/OFC)

Joel has been more than happy to let Ellie sabotage his love life since their arrival in Jackson, but all bets are off after she learns that the town’s most recent arrival is a former astronaut. The new gal is smart, single, pretty, and good with a gun. And she’s gone to mother *fucking* space. Joel POV.

Lucky Denver Mint - (Logan Lucky; Clyde Logan/OFC)

The stars over Boone County never looked brighter than the night a pretty astrophysicist walked into Clyde Logan’s bar. Clyde POV.

The Sleazy Place - (The Good Place)

The possibility of Michael never making into the Good Place is why Janet [literally] reassemble the Soul Squad - and what they owe Michael is why Eleanor doesn't hesitate to team up with her friends one last time to try and save their favorite former fire-squid. Eleanor POV. ...She just needs to finish that margarita first.

Like what you see? Please reblog and comment! I love comments.

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not-poignant · 13 days

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wait okay so now that you're seriously thinking of publishing, will you be writing a new prequel to game theory with the new 'Canon'? like the story as it's meant to have happened between gwyn, augus, terho and the nightingale, or are we just starting from game theory?

ALSO I'm so glad that you might be publishing the ftv soon for wholly selfish reasons -- you're clearly done writing about these characters, but personally I am nowhere near done reading about them, and I'm definitely not creative enough to write fanfiction myself either, so I'm just stuck rotating the characters inside my head like a microwave😭😭 it's really tough out here!!!

imagine the massive wave of new readers and the new community that's gonna come in once the story's more accessible... IT'S SO EXCITING

Hi anon!

No prequel, I'll be starting with Game Theory (and Deeper into the Woods will be published afterwards as a prequel, just as it was chronologically in general!)

Quite a bit of Game Theory is being edited and new content being added (anyone on the Gary & Efnisien tier can already see about 2,000 words of new content in the first three chapters alone, including new scene/s with Crielle), and some content being removed where it's OOC. The events with Terho and the Nightingale will be explained in Game Theory, with Gwyn likely meeting with Terho (or learning about him) a few times within.

As for Fae Tales, you know, it's nice to think there will be some new readers, and there might be like a handful or two, but there will be no massive wave. It is the least popular thing I've written in proportion to the amount of time I've put into it. Even the AUs have all generally done better proportionately.

It's one of the reasons I've never rushed to publish, honestly. It's a lot of work to put into something that you know will never financially justify itself. To the point where I think other projects are far more viable financially (Underline the Rainbow as a series I actually think would be great, because new, meaty omegaverse has a very intense (though small) fanbase and I think that series would bring more people in).

There would be no massive wave of new readers. I think we'd be lucky to see at most about 10 or 20 new folks, and I'll cherish everyone, but I'm also pretty realistic. More people find all my other works these days than Fae Tales, The Ice Plague is still one of the worst performing things I've written in proportion to length + time + work investment (despite being one of my favourite series out of anything I've written).

I think I'm realistic, and I also think there's a chance that the Fae Tales Verse if published could draw some haters. Most people don't want that level of BDSM in their epic fantasy, unless it's much lighter 'romantasy,' which Fae Tales definitely isn't. There's even a chance I might get my KDP author account suspended because of breaching content TOS/violations.

So yeah, it's a risk, but I'll take it. It's just not a risk I'm prioritising right now, because I can't see a way that the Fae Tales Verse will ever really go that far. Hand on heart, way more people who come over from my fanfiction find Falling Falling Stars and Underline and almost no one (with maybe a few exceptions - I love y'all) goes into the canon these days unless they're older / long-time readers.

#asks and answers #fae tales verse #game theory #it's so generous of you to think there would be a massive wave anon #i genuinely can't see it being many people at all #i'd be truly shocked if more than 100 people bought that series as paperbacks or hardbacks #even of existing fans #i love that series with all my heart #and i know it has other folks who love it with all their heart #but those people can read it for free #and not everyone wants to have something like that on their bookshelves #i was going back through my bookmarks/kudos ratio #and realising that even after all this time #The Ice Plague hasn't had the pick up i hoped it would #and it still looks like #over 3/4 of Game Theory readers have never read through #to Augus' and Gwyn's happy ending in All That We Were #so uh #yeah #i don't find it depressing because i have other series i think would do better once published #it just means it's right at the bottom of my current priority list #until further notice

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1moreoffkeyanthem · 3 months

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Alright my dudes, it’s time for another episode of Bedtime Stories With PCE,

•Comeback Of The Year•

For those unfamiliar, the Bedtime Stories series has been continuations of fics I published on ao3, within the OrangeJuiceVerse, that I don’t feel necessary have a place within the official lineup. This one is a little different.

This story isn’t a continuation or something that happened when we were in another character’s perspective; rather it’s a what we didn’t see. Chronologically, this takes place after the main 5’s first year of college, during the time Cartman’s leaving Colorado and Kenjorine and Style are moving into their campus apartments, set between Extremely Stupid And Incredibly Avoidable and It’s Not The Frat Flu. (As usual you don’t need to be familiar with those or the OJV in general to read this lmao)

ALSO!!! This idea is inspired by a suggestion from my dearest sickfic queen Ana @alwaysinstyle and I’ll explain under the cut before we get into the story!

(Tw for Kyle’s eating disorder thoughts, mention of behavior and mentality surrounding)

So I’ve talked before about OrangeJuiceVerse Kyle being a recovered anorexic, and said I probably wouldn’t write something with him actively struggling with his ed, BUT, my fine friends, last week in the R.A.N.T. Park chat the girlies and I were discussing my impending move and the factors surrounding it (including your local Whumpshot Wizard trying to kick her own relapse’s ass before my husband and I move rip lol), and Ana slid into my messages like “I have an idea that could work for OJV Kyle” and I RAN WITH IT!!!

Thus, this was born. A tale of everyone’s favorite ginger coming face to face with an eating disorder relapse in the middle of moving apartments in the summer heat. There is a fair amount of angst, but a lot of wholesome moments too, a lot of hope and healthy communication in typical PastorCraigEnjoyer fashion! And plenty of Stan being the sweetest boy on planet Earth lmfao I’m obsessed with OJV Stan it’s fine

If y’all read this, PLEASE let me know what you thought, and I hope it pleases and sparkles!!!

Without further ado, here y’all go:

——————————————————————————

Mid July was excruciating, to put it mildly, even in Colorado. Kyle couldn’t imagine how rough summers must be for someone in, like, Texas or something.

Maybe the weather would be tolerable if he was lying in the shade somewhere with an ice cold drink in his hand, listening to Stan play the guitar, maybe watching lazy clouds float through the endless blue. That idyllic mental picture was a lot more pleasant than his current reality.

“Ay! Get your lazy ass over here and help Kinny with this chair!”

Moving.

The weird little house they’d spent the last year living in no longer suited the group’s needs, with Cartman declaring his gap year done and announcing that the online matchmaking and wedding planning service he’d been building up had taken off, that he’d be moving to Nevada. It was a fitting career for him, Kyle thought, but even if he and a certain abrasive fuckwad butted heads from time to time, that big of a change to the group dynamic made him anxious. They’d collectively decided to disband the SP Survivors Safehouse, all knowing that it wouldn’t be the same from here on out, but none of them giving voice to that.

It wasn’t that he was completely sad about leaving that place behind; it was kind of a shitbox, and these campus apartments were nice and well maintained. He and Stan would only be a few doors down from Kenny and Marj, and the units were decently spacious for what the rent was. Just… the adjustment of it all. The change in routine and life in general. That’s what had him stressed.

With a groan, Kyle pushed himself off the wall where he’d been taking a breather. “Yeah, yeah, I’m coming.”

Out of the minute shade the shadow of the building had cast, his vision went spotty with the shift in temperature. Seriously, it was too goddamn hot for this shit.

Kenny unclipped the ratchet strap holding his favorite recliner (a well loved sidewalk find) to the bed of the truck, turning to look at him with a quizzical expression.

“You good, firefox?”

“I’ll be better when we’re done getting everything inside,” Kyle complained, and immediately regretted his tone. All of them were out in the sun, not just him. “It’s just hot,” he amended.

Hopping out of Resurrection, Kenny gestured for him to climb into the bed. “I hear that, brother. Even Fatboy’s helpin’ speed shit up.”

From the staircase, arms laden with boxes, Cartman called down a “I heard that, broke ass bitch!”

“I’m commending your work ethic!” Kenny argued back, wide grin on his face. He braced himself to catch one side of the chair. “Gonna miss that fucker.”

Kyle shook his head and slowly walked the furniture to the edge of the tailgate. “He’ll be blowing up our phones with stupid shit even more than he already does.” Though, it’d take more getting used to than he wanted to think about. He didn’t have the energy to stress over it more than he already had been. He sighed. “We’ll get used to it. Ready?”

“When you are.”

“Yep, careful, Ken.”

“When am I ever not careful?” The blond replied with a smirk.

“I’m not answering that.”

Kenny chuckled, enviously buoyant and upbeat in a way Kyle couldn’t seem to match. The guy had always been a little more go with the flow, cryptic and weird sometimes, yeah, but overall good for a smile when you needed one, and Kyle very much did right now. He’d been driving everyone up the wall the past few weeks with his neuroticism; maybe he should take a page out of Kenny’s book.

“Alright, dude,” he said, “it’s coming down.”

Step one and done, chair on the grass, Kyle hopped out of the bed to begin the arduous task of helping his friend haul the damn thing up the stairs. Not particularly heavy, but awkward, and Kyle wasn’t feeling very strong today. Past month or so, come to think of it.

He knew why, of course, and it was his own damn fault.

Stress had always effected his appetite, and with everything going on, he’d fallen into some… old habits. And the worst part was, he was good at hiding it, even from his boyfriend. For nearly five years, Stan had been diligent (on his ass) about his eating habits, his health in general. Stan didn’t find Cartman’s ed jokes funny even when Kyle himself did. None of it was funny now.

He didn’t realize what was happening until he was already in it, an involuntary deficit awakening long dormant thoughts and behaviors, secrecy and avoidance. The lying came naturally, and that made him feel worse.

But it wasn’t a problem, Kyle told himself. He’d get back on track and no one would have to know, once they got this new chapter of their lives up and running. Just a momentary slip up, nothing to start an upset over. He was fine.

To prove it, Kyle let Kenny lead in front, taking most of the weight as they climbed the stairs. His friend whistled something he couldn’t quite place while he walked backwards, like he didn’t have a care in the world. A sickening trickle of sweat ran down Kyle’s back, an annoying ringing in his ears.

His arms were shaking when they at long last made it to the open door of number 207, and he spared a glance across the hall and down a ways to unit 210, his new home with Stan, who was currently inside with Marj getting the couch set up.

“Kyle? Hey, man, you hear me?”

Snapping back to attention, Kyle pulled his focus back to Kenny. “Sorry, what’d you say?”

Kenny raised his eyebrows and started backing up into the apartment again. “Dude, I was saying we could put the chair in the corner for now. You alright?”

“Like I said, just the heat,” Kyle assured him. Though now that he was inside, out of the open concrete hallway with its hot wind, he was suddenly freezing. Freezing, but still dripping sweat from what felt like every pore. Maybe coffee wasn’t enough to get him through the morning after all, but he hadn’t been able to stomach the thought of anything else.

Cartman rounded the corner, wiping his hands on his jeans and scowling on his way to the front door to grab some more stuff from the truck.

“This is why I told you guys to hire movers like I did,” he started condescendingly. “By the time I get to my sweet new house tomorrow, all I’ll have to bring in is my backpack.”

“And yet you’re still helping us out of the goodness of your big fat heart,” Kenny pointed out. “You do love us.”

“Nah, fuck you guys.” Cartman flipped them a middle finger on his way out.

Kenny laughed as he set his side of the chair down, Kyle following suit on that, but not the laughter.

His head felt like it was being squeezed on all sides, blood fervently racing through his veins, clouds at the edges of his sight. He hadn’t even straightened yet, but the room was spinning. Kyle slowly pulled himself up, undeniable dread flooding his gut when the vertigo worsened.

“I’m-“ he started thickly, swallowing hard with a throat that felt like a stale desert. His own voice sounded like he was hearing it underwater. “Ken, I don’t feel so good-“

Kenny’s eyes went wide. “Holy shit, you look like a ghost! Okay, get down, get down, you’re good, dude, sit down…”

Even with Kenny’s secure grip on his arms, Kyle felt his legs turn to jelly right as his vision turned white.

He couldn’t decipher what his friend was saying, only that his tone was calm, reassuring and steady. How was Kenny so calm? Kyle was abruptly made aware of his own panicked breathing, eyes burning with tears while they struggled to focus again. He was on the floor, and didn’t remember getting there. Why was it so cold?

“-re you are.” Kenny’s voice still sounded distant, but a little clearer now. “Just keep your eyes open, dude, we know how to handle this, you’re fine.” The blond turned his head to the open door. “STAN!”

Kyle felt wrong. He hadn’t gotten snappy and irritable like he usually did when his blood sugar dropped, so even if he was low (definitely on the table here), it wasn’t just that. There was something else up too, and he was scared, and embarrassed, and whyisitsohardtohearanything-

“Ky?! Shit, baby, I’m here, I’ve got you.”

He could blearily make out the shape of his boyfriend kneeling beside him, feel the hand that burned like fire on his cheek. “Can you hear me, dude?”

“‘S hard to,” he managed.

“That’s okay, we’ll fix it, I’m here,” Stan repeated, and looked up at Kenny. “What happened? Did he fall? Pass out or just get really close?”

Kyle was vaguely aware of his tears being wiped away by someone who smelled like green apples. Oh, fuck, he was probably scaring Marj. He had to calm down; panicking never helped in a situation like this.

Kenny stood up, beelining to turn the ceiling fan on. “Said he wasn’t feelin’ good, and then he went all white, and then his eyes rolled back so I got ‘im on the floor. A low, right?”

His hands were tingling. Stan was shaking his head.

“He doesn’t freak out like this over it normally, you know that. Kyle, dude, what else is going on? You get too hot?”

Marjorine sounded worried. “Oh, geez, should we call 911? I’ve heard heat exhaustion can be real bad.”

Kyle’s heart felt like it was working overtime to get blood to his brain, stomach twisting with nausea and mouth drier than the wrinkled up orange peel he’d found in one of Stan’s drawers when they were packing.

Oh.

“Hypotension,” he whispered. “Gotta… legs above my head. Drink something.”

Stan nodded, already sliding a box under his sneakers. “Ken, there’s Gatorade in my bag at our place. Can you grab the full sugar one?”

“On it, bossman.”

Marj softly ran her fingers through his hair, rubbing his temples in an almost motherly gesture. “You just lie still and catch your breath,” she advised. “You’re probably just dehydrated with how hot it is and all. You’ll be feelin’ better in no time.”

Oh, no doubt, but if only it was just that. “I’m sorry,” he muttered.

“Dude.” Stan took his hand and kissed the back of it. “Shit happens, okay? You’re just gonna need to take it easy for the rest of the day, right?”

“Right.” Kyle sighed, uneasy and hating how much his body was still shaking, but at least his senses were starting to come back after a few minutes horizontal. “‘M just not built for summer.”

His partner snorted. “I know, baby. I’ve heard you complain about how sunburned you get every summer for our whole lives. Full on lobster the second the sun comes out. I don’t think I’ve seen you faint from low blood pressure, though, not since-“ Stan’s face fell at the realization. “…oh, Ky, no…”

The mix of shock and concern and guilt and sympathy and fear on Stan’s handsome face felt like a punch in the gut. Kyle couldn’t meet his eyes. “It’s not what you-“

“You were up before me,” Stan cut in. “Did you eat breakfast?”

His head hurt. “I told you I did.”

“And you were lying,” Stan inferred, his voice cracking.

His sweet, sensitive Stan. The regret of hiding his recent bullshit from the man who worried so much about him threatened to, ironically, eat Kyle alive.

Before he could think of something to say to save face, Kenny returned from his side quest, Cartman close behind and carrying a box labeled ‘Another Man’s Treasure’, also known as Kenny’s assortment of random junk to hypothetically be used in a project at some point.

Their no-longer-resident asshole set the box down on the kitchen counter. “You just had to have a dramatic little moment today, didn’t you, Jew?”

“Cartman,” Stan warned, ripping the the nutrition information off of the Gatorade bottle Kenny passed him with far more force than necessary, “I’m telling you right now to lay the fuck off him.”

Naturally, Cartman didn’t lay off. “Hell no! Using his sneaky little ways to get out of physical labor? I must say, Bone Broth, I’m impressed.”

Kyle managed something resembling a weak laugh at that; “Bone Broth” was a new one, so stupid it was almost funny. That is, until the other three shouted “JAR!”.

How were they going to keep up Fuckwad Jar records if the five of them no longer lived together? What even was the point of it anyway? It was too much, all too much. Too much change, too much going on, he felt like microwaved garbage and Stan still had an unreadable look in his eyes. Maybe that was just still Kyle’s brain catching up to full consciousness, though. He could always read Stan, eventually.

He’d have to explain himself later, because his boyfriend had shifted into full caretaking mode.

“Ignore him, dude,” Stan said, taking Marjorine’s spot at his head. “I’m gonna sit you up, really slow, okay?”

Kyle nodded, blinking away the dark spots in his eyes at the movement and letting Stan hold him against his chest, one arm around him for stability, the other guiding him to drink. The cloying taste of lemon lime flooded his tongue, but the thickness in the back of his throat from unshed tears lingered.

Kenny squatted down beside them, extending a fist. “Aight, grandma, dap me up. C’mon, I’m checkin’ your motor functions and shit.”

He obliged, slowly completing the handshake with an eyeroll. Leave it to Kenny McCormick.

Unfortunately, ignoring Cartman was easier said than done, especially when he let out an exaggerated groan.

“I’m so seriously, you guys. I could already be relaxing by the pool at my hotel instead of watching the rest of you coddle the damsel in distress, but nooooo, we have to pause the whole move just because one bird boned bitch can’t pull his weight.”

Kyle was willing to let that one slide; it was true, wasn’t it? Even if Cartman could have phrased it a little less cruelly. Marj stood up on his behalf.

“Eric!” All four boys stilled at her rarely used stern voice. “You know darn well you’re only actin’ out because you don’t do well with change either, mister! Now, apologize right now!”

“Damn, Buttercup,” Kenny whistled, audibly impressed. “Called Fatboy out.”

Cartman grumbled, rolling his eyes, but sighed with genuine defeat. “I’m sorry for being an asshole, now will you guys hop off my dick?”

“None of us want to be on your dick, fatass,” Kyle pointed out.

“Keep it that way, you anemic twink.”

“Okay, I’ve had enough of this,” Stan groaned. “Ky, the bed in our place isn’t made, but it’s put together. Let’s get you somewhere quiet to lie down, okay?”

That sounded nice, but Kyle really wasn’t looking forward to the third degree he was about to get. He didn’t want to get defensive like he knew he would, didn’t want to act like a dick. Still, he resigned himself to be swept up into a safety that didn’t feel deserved.

“Sorry I freaked you guys out,” he muttered, arms draped around Stan’s neck, Gatorade bottle dangling loosely from one hand. “I’ll help finish up in a little bit, promise.”

“No the fuck you won’t.” Stan tightened his grip, pulling Kyle closer to his chest.

As his boyfriend carried him to their apartment, he could hear Cartman taking over command of getting the rest of Kenny and Marj’s stuff in. Dread pooled in his empty stomach, dread that he wanted out. Kyle felt exposed. He’d been seen right through, and scrutinized, all over again.

———

The summer before and into his ninth grade year had been one of the lowest points of Kyle’s life.

He couldn’t pinpoint exactly when it had all started, but by the time he started to notice the changes to his body, to his pattern of thinking especially, he was spiraling down a dangerous path.

There was comfort in controlling what he could in the here and now, Kyle had realized, especially with the future seeming so uncertain. He wasn’t fucking stupid; he had known right off the bat that obsessively counting, competing with himself to see how little he could get away with eating, even shoving his fingers down his throat on a few occasions just to prove to himself that he had control, all of that was dangerous and would only make him feel worse in the long run. And yet, he’d spent months getting extremely efficient at running on nothing but his own stubbornness.

Kyle hadn’t been the one in control, though, not after a certain point. No, his eating disorder had controlled him.

His mother had seen it, because of course she had. But Sheila Broflovski, loving and caring as she was, hadn’t a clue as to how to approach the matter. One of her “solutions” had been to organize a dinner party with all his friends and their parents, a subtle way, he’d find out years later, to try and get her eldest son to associate food with celebration and love again; good things, not something to be avoided. But the well meaning idea had only sent Kyle into an anxious frenzy.

“Ma, you have got to be fucking joking! You didn’t think, oh, I don’t know, maybe you should ASK ME?”

“Now listen here, young man-“

Oh shit. Kyle knew that tone, and had dreaded hearing it his entire life. Worried and angry at the same time was easily the most frightening version of Sheila Broflovski. He’d seen a good amount of that side of her around that time, come to think of it.

And Kyle could out-argue anyone; he could diffuse high tempers or match them, whatever the situation called for. At fourteen, he counted that as the best tool in his arsenal.

But he had been tired, for months. So fucking tired.

Plus, the only people he’d never won a screaming match against were God and his mother. His voice had, for once, faltered.

He would find a way to make a damn dinner party work.

“S-sorry, ma,” he’d managed. “That sounds like a good idea. Just, uh, just remember that Stan doesn’t eat meat, when you’re cooking. Like, leave the bacon out of the green beans.”

She had looked like there was something on the tip of her tongue that she wanted to ask. Kyle felt the weight of her stare settle on his shoulders like the shirt that had been hanging off of them; incidentally what had caught the attention of the captain of overbearing mothers in the first place.

But she’d softened, apparently having agreed to his unspoken truce and switching tactics. “Alright, sweetie. Now, you’re doing homework in your room again, I’m assuming? Oy, you’ve just been working so hard since high school started! I’m so proud! I’ll bring you some snacks later so you can keep that focus up, bubbeh.”

Kyle had fought to keep his face even. He couldn’t tell her. Not even Stan knew he couldn’t focus if he ate, which was why he… kind of hadn’t been. But he’d nodded and said,

“Okay. Thanks, Ma.”

He hated to think back to that party. The whole night had been spent dodging pointed looks, staying talking as if on autopilot to act okay, to distract the people he loved. To hide. It was his problem, not theirs.

But everything that passed his lips that day did so twice.

———

Now here he was, and it was a problem again.

Kyle’s anxiety only spiked entering the apartment that was, in theory, his home for the next few years. It didn’t feel like home yet, just an impersonal cookie cutter one bedroom, its beige walls and vertical blinds taunting him. New chapter, they seemed to say. New chapter, but there’s a misprint; we’ve read these words before.

Stan softly kissed his forehead and set him down on the bare mattress. “You’ve got some color back,” he noted. “How do you feel?”

Looking anywhere that wasn’t into worried blue eyes, Kyle shrugged. “Okay, I guess. Hands are cold.”

“Baby, look at me.” Stan took his hands in his own warm ones and drew a deep breath. “Dude, are you relapsing?”

“That’s not-“ Kyle forced himself to pause and take the hostility from his voice. He needed to communicate clearly and honestly; immediately acting like he was being attacked would help no one here, and Stan only got overreactive when he had cause to freak out.

“I’m not sure,” he admitted quietly. “It just kind of… happened, I guess. I didn’t realize, dude, I swear. Not really.”

“…okay.” Stan was chewing his bottom lip, and Kyle’s heart lurched, feeling his boyfriend’s fingers twitching but not letting go of his hands even though he obviously wanted to chew at his own like when he got nervous. “How long?”

“Past month or so?” Kyle guessed. “Seriously, I was gonna go back to normal after we got settled in; it wasn’t on purpose-“

“That’s not you talking,” Stan interrupted. “Honey, you know that’s not you. That’s the anorexia. Trying to justify it.”

Stan was never this blunt. He hated using that word, always had. He said it felt too big, too scary. Kyle didn’t want him to be scared.

“Dude, it’s under control,” he insisted. I just needed one less thing to think about for a little bit.”

“Do you even hear what you’re saying?!?” Stan asked incredulously. “Ky, you know better! You know that’s not how this works!”

“Don’t fucking yell at me!” Kyle sobbed out, overwhelmed and hating that he was crying again. He was the least prone to tears of the group; another thing that was apparently crumbling.

Stan slowly sat down on the edge of the bed, hands up in surrender and eyes like saucers.

“Baby, baby, shh, I’m not yelling, okay? I’m not mad at you. I’d never be, no matter what.”

“I… I know,” Kyle whispered. He didn’t protest Stan’s hand moving up to cup his cheek tenderly.

“Kyle, you remember what you told me your therapist said when we were in high school? That it’s a slippery slope, dude. You give it an inch, it takes a mile, right?”

She had used a metaphor that stuck with him. say you’re climbing a mountain, sticking to the path that you know you’re supposed to be on. A few feet to the side, there’s what looks like a shortcut, something easier than the path. But what you don’t see until it’s too late, and you’ve already strayed, is that the shortcut gives way to slippery gravel, and eventually you slide back down to where you started.

“Fuck, dude,” Kyle groaned. “Can we just pretend this never happened? It’s out in the fucking open now, not like you’re gonna let me get away with more bullshit.”

Stan shook his head. “I’m not gonna let it keep trying to get you, dude. It made you sick.” He looked down, shoulders sagging. “I’m sorry I didn’t know. I knew you were stressed, I just-“

“Sweetheart, c’mon.” Kyle wasn’t about to let Stan blame himself for missing the signs. “Don’t do that. I’m just really good at hiding it.”

“Making your ancestors proud with your deceptive ways,” Cartman quipped from the doorway. He turned his attention to Stan. “Hey, Big ‘n Tall. Marj needs help with a bookshelf.”

Stan rolled his eyes. “So why aren’t you helping her? I’m busy.”

“Because.” Cartman crossed his beefy arms over his chest. “I need to have a little talk with Kahl.”

Clearly suspicious, Stan stood up and squared to their friend. Kyle knew the two of them didn’t usually have real beef, but Stan was obviously on edge and feeling overprotective.

“He’s not feeling well, assclown. I don’t want you to work him up.”

Cartman raised one eyebrow, unfazed by Stan’s intimidation tactics. All five of them knew that while he could certainly look scary, he wouldn’t hurt a fly unless completely unavoidable.

“Relax, Lancelot, I can babysit your languishing fleshlight without starting a fight.”

Annoyed, Kyle raised his hand. “You two realize I can hear you.”

Stan glanced back and forth between them for a pregnant moment, then sighed. He knew Kyle could handle himself, especially when it came to Cartman being an asshole, which was much appreciated. Finally, he sighed, relenting.

“Alright. Ky, just take it easy, okay? I’ll be right back. Cartman-“

“-Don’t piss off the Jew, got it.”

Stan bent down to kiss Kyle gently while Cartman pretended to gag. “We’ll beat it together, baby.”

“Together,” Kyle agreed, feeling like there was a fist clenching his heart when his partner left the room. Cartman sat on the edge of the bed and glared at him.

“You’re a fucking dumbass.”

Classy. “Thank you, Cartman, is that all?”

“No, that’s not all, bitch. Listen up.”

And Kyle was, picking up on the seriousness in his friend’s voice. He sipped at his Gatorade and gestured for him to go on.

“I need you to be okay, you idiot.”

That made Kyle pause. Cartman anxiously ran his hands through his messy brown hair.

“Look, dickhole, it’s no secret that your body hates you. Sucks to suck, and all that. But you’re stupid for thinking you can outsmart it. That shit-“ he gestured vaguely in the direction of Kenny and Marj’s place. “-That shit can’t happen. You can’t get sick like when we were in high school.”

Kyle opened his mouth to insist that he was never planning on letting it get that far, but Cartman held up a hand.

“We all know you love to talk, but let me finish.” He shot Kyle a look that meant business until he was sure he wasn’t going to be interrupted. “Good. Okay. Fuck, this is hard to say, alright. Okay. You can’t get sick,” he repeated. “It would fucking break Stan. The stupid hippie would cease to exist if anything happened to you, and you know I’m not fucking around. He needs you. We… all need your annoying ass.”

Against his will, Kyle started to smile. “Is this you admitting you’re gonna miss me, Eric? Kenny was right, you do love us.”

“Fuck off, I hate you guys,” Cartman muttered. “And Christ, just call me “fatass”, it’s gross when you use my name. Save the faggotry for that misguided simp of yours.”

Kyle laughed. His face was tingling, but he really was feeling a little more human. “Just trying to annoy you, fatass.”

“Good. Keep doing that. Don’t make it weird. Listen…”

Cartman took a deep breath, like he was about to dive into the unexplored. Well, he kind of was, starting his career away from the safety net of the rest of them, Kyle supposed.

“This doesn’t leave this room, am I clear, Starving In Suburbia?”

“You know, it concerns me every time you reference one of those movies.”

“Damnit, Jew, am I clear?”

“Jesus, yes. What?”

“If you, uh, if you want, I can ask my therapist for some recommendations. You know, colleagues of his that do remote sessions and specialize in your bullshit.”

Kyle knew Cartman hated talking about therapy, about his fucked up brain and cocktail of medications, so the fact that he was offering was wild. Probably not necessary, but wild.

“Dude,” Kyle started, “I appreciate that, seriously. But I don’t think it’s at that point, you know?”

“I have a call with him day after tomorrow, I’ll at least get some names.” The way he said it made it clear that he needed to feel like he was helping. Not for Kyle’s sake, but for his own peace of mind.

Kyle sighed. “Thank you. Seriously, that’s really nice of you, dude.”

Cartman scoffed. “Please. I just need you to have your shit together so I can torture you without, like, karmic consequences.”

Typical. “Karmic consequences, huh?”

“Uh, duh, dumbass. You can’t rip on an anorexic if they’re actively in it. Everyone knows that.” He rolled his eyes. “For real, though. Get your shit together. I’m not having this conversation again.”

Movement caught Kyle’s eye in the doorway. Stan, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, but his face was relaxed, like he’d heard that last part.

Cartman turned. “Oh good, the guard dog’s back.” He sprang up like he hadn’t just hit Kyle with the tough love he didn’t know he needed. “Later, cocksuckers.”

“Thanks again, fatass,” Kyle repeated.

“Thank me by not being a delicate little bitch next time.”

Stan took his spot on the mattress, eyebrow raised. “Dare I ask?”

Kyle sat up against the headboard, curling his arms around his legs and resting his chin on his knees. “Just wanted to tell me to get it together. Apparently kicking me when I’m down would cause cosmic chaos.”

“Can’t have that,” Stan chuckled. “But really, dude. What do we need to do here? I’m not letting this thing fuck with you anymore than it already has.”

Thinking back to the first time around, Kyle remembered how strict his rules had been in early recovery. Meal plan, online school, limited physical activity, outpatient therapy multiple times a week. Granted, he’d been pretty fucked physically and mentally back then. This hardly even compared, in his eyes.

“I… think I just need accountability,” he said carefully. “For a little while, it’s not like…” Kyle sighed again. “Believe me when I say it’s not like it was the first time, Stan. It’s just… call it a sophomore slump, I guess.”

Stan cracked a half smile, still visibly worried, but like he trusted him. “Little slip up? You’re feeling like you can get yourself healthy pretty quickly?”

Kyle reached a hand out to take Stan’s. “Promise. The mentality behind it isn’t the same, you know? The body dysmorphia and the compulsions aren’t there, I just fell into some of the habits. Call me on it if you see it, okay?”

“I will, dude,” Stan swore. “I’ve always got your back.

Stan used their intertwined hands to pull Kyle into his lap, softly rubbing his back. “I need something from you too though.”

“Mhm?”

“I need you to tell me when you need support, baby. With words. I don’t want to miss the signs again, dude.”

Kyle looked up into his impossibly soft gaze, both vulnerable and open. “Oh, sweetheart, hey. That’s not on you, at all.”

“It is, though.” Stan cupped around the back of Kyle’s neck, bringing his head back into his chest protectively. “We’re a team, Ky. How many times have you told me that? Whatever the game is, we’re on the same side.”

“Dude, don’t quote me at me,” Kyle laughed. It had the intended effect, though, for sure. “But I hear you.”

“Yep, and we’ll be all good in no time,” Stan promised. “We’ll get used to this new place, start our second year of school, all that shit. It always works out, right?”

“We figure it out,” Kyle confirmed.

Stan’s grin was audible, brilliant and soul stirring, even if Kyle couldn’t see it. “Turn that sophomore slump into the comeback of the year.”

Then Kyle did pull away enough to see his face, trying to feign annoyance on his part. “How’d I know you were gonna quote Fall Out Boy at me?”

“Hey, you started it, I just finished it.”

“Proud of yourself, Stanathan?”

“Very much so.” Stan lightly ran his thumb over Kyle’s bottom lip before kissing him softly.

And Kyle believed him when he said, “but more proud of you.”

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