#This run just so cringe. but this first issue is so funny

[barbie0303]

When being rebooted into a new timeline isn’t enough to get rid of your dislike of teenagers even when this version of you has never fought or even talked to the group of teenagers that started said hatred in the first place

Deathstroke (2011) #1

[idcbabyialreadylostmymind]

L'appel du Vide

Pairing- Sully Family x Sully!Reader

Summary- You feel the urge to engage in destructive behaviors just to feel alive and your family wants to get to the bottom.

Pt.1 pt.2 pt.3

Warnings- self destructive thoughts/actions, getting slapped, biting someone's ear off, hateful thoughts, description of self harm, self harm, blood/bleeding, crying lmk if I missed something

A/N- did I cry writing the last part bc of my crippling mommy issues yes yes I did but we don't talk about it also tell me how it is 🤭🤭

It's like a call to a void, the adrenaline of putting yourself in danger. Like jumping off a cliff not knowing if your banshee is going to catch you, or slicing your hand with an open blade, or getting into a fight with someone ten times bigger than you. It made you feel real, made you feel alive. And if your not doing it your thinking of it. So why wouldn't you go with your siblings to the old battle field.

"Tuk keep up." Lo'ak said as you pushed a branch out of the way. "Why'd you bring her?" Spider asked and Lo'ak huffed. "She's always like 'I'm telling if you don't let me come you know your not supposed to go to the old battlefield " Lo'ak mocks your younger sibling only making Spider laugh and you roll your eyes at his childish tactics. Tuk pokes her tongue out at him and Kiri comes to her defense. "Don't pick on her." And finally you make it, you and Lo'ak crouch Kiri beside you. "Dad is going to ground you," she whispered to you, "shush can you stop." You reply and she only rolls her eyes. "For life."

behind some bushes you and Lo'ak look around there was all kind of rubble and metal on the ground you hit Lo'ak on the stomach to get his attention. "Let's look around." You say before immediately jumping back, Avatars. "Shit." You whisper Lo'ak looks at them his body freezes. "We have to tell dad." Kiri whispers. Lo'ak goes to touch the microphone on his neck. "Hey dad." Lo'ak whispers, your eyes were glued to the avatars.

"Lo'ak." You hear your father's gruff voice over the ear piece. "Yes we are at the old battle field and there are some Avatars we've never seen them." Silence, "Who is we." Was all your father said afterward you and Lo'ak share a look. "Me, Y/N, spider, Kiri and Tuk." He paused before he said Tuk and you could hear your father sigh. "Just stay safe, Lo'ak Lo'ak!"

Suddenly before you could think your queue was being pulled roughly making you wince in pain. You look around at the kidnappers around you. The avatars. "Show me your fingers." An older man said to Lo'ak and he flips him off and give a screechy hiss and you laugh loudly making Lo'ak chuckle. "Your his alright and you," he says turning around to you pointing a finger. "Your a cute little thing aren't ya' think that's funny?" He asked. You cringe at his statement. "I do actually." He smirks gripping your face. "We'll keep you." He said and all you did was hiss it was deeper and louder than the one Lo'ak previously did.

He gives you a hard slap and all you did was smile as you hear your mother's war call. The man's face fell, "I will kill you as many times as I have to demon." Was the last thing you heard before you saw your father and brother, Neteyam sweep in and get the avatars holding your siblings but they couldn't help you but you didn't need any. As your father held you sister in her arms you took this chance to kick the man holding you kick him in the knee he filps you around arms locking around you and before you knew it you opened your mouth clamping down on the first thing near you and it came off in your mouth the taste of iron on your tongue filling your mouth, the man screamed letting you fall to the ground. You jump up and spit the piece of skin in your mouth blood spilling from it as you spit. "She bit my ear off! The bitch bit my ear off!" He yelled you smiled as you pick a gun up that he had dropped and run off next to your dad.

It was hell after you got home. Your father yelled at you and Lo'ak about how irresponsible you two were and how stupid it was to attack the man holding you. But, this was the usual for you not taking anything to heart but you could see Lo'ak every heart breaking thing your father said to you two it stabbed him a hundred times over. And then your father put everyone of lock down and suddenly everything darkened around you, it felt like you were a dead person in someone you didn't know, like your family and friends weren't really your family and friends.

So there you are sitting at the back of your families home watching the sky, you had the razor blade you swiped from Norm in hand and all of those bad thoughts flew into you again. You griped the balde t as tears fell down your face, "Your not real." Your head thought. "Your nothing." The thoughts consumed you as the blade got closer and closer to your skin and it made contact you held it to the base of your palm. Your eyes clench closed as you held the blade hard and sliced all the way down, the throbbing pain was there and then you take the balde off of your palm and as the blood dropped from your hand, and a sense of comfort fell over you.

Your mother looked at your hand as she wrapped it up, "And you say you accidentally cut yourself when sharpening your dagger." She asked once again and you smile. "Yes I was being stupid I know." You laugh as she lets go of your hand. Before you asked your mother to wrap your hand your father gave you the news you had to leave, it hurt it really did you were leaving the only place you called home but you knew you had to stay strong for your siblings for your Mother.

When you finally made it to the Meykayina all of their eyes were on you and your family it was strange, unsettling. It only got worse the more you stayed there people made fun of you, of your siblings. And that feeling you knew all to well came back you had to cut, and everytime you had a quick explanation. Soon you had scars in various parts of your body, on your sides, inner and outer thighs, your calfs, you even had to wrap you hands up. And after an altercation with Lo'ak and the chiefs son they were forcing you and your siblings to hang out with him and his sister Tsireya. She was nice, sweet you sort of envied her but didn't show it. "Hey forest people." Ao'nung laughed and all you did was roll your eyes. "Hey fish boy." You reply opening your eyes and giving him a sarcastic smile.

He looks taken back but Kiri and Lo'ak burst into laughter as Neteyam hits your arm. "Let's get this day over with." He said getting the ilus saddled up. You stand up and head towards your ikran and they just look at you. "Forest girl where you going!?" Ao'nung yells and you turn around. "I'm going to ride Amhel." And then Neteyam huffed. "What is wrong Neteyam?" Tsireya asked as she lifted her leg over her ilu. "When she rides Amhel that means shes gonna do something stupid and then get in trouble for it." He shook his head as you jumped into her and connected taking off into the sky. It was a dangerous speed, but you didn't care. You did all kinds of things in the air the farther you got into sea. "Flip upside down." You thought and that's what she did. "She's not strapped in!" Tsireya yells watching you as you let your arms swing in the air. Neteyam watched he hates when you did this, but he couldn't stop you.

You made it to the island you land on the warm sand and hop off as the other five to make it to you. Kiri hit you upside the head. "Why are you so stupid always doing dangerous things." She scolded. "Ah and it's not dangerous it's fun have some." You joke rubbing the sore spot she made. "Fun? We rather keep our lives thank you." Neteyam chimed in and you only rolled your eyes. "If I wanted to get scolded I would have stayed with mom and dad..." Trailed off by seeing a huge rock. It was beautiful it started in the water where it has a teal ring, and it goes up as moss and leaves grow on it, it had to be at least fifty felt in the air. "Y/N don't." Neteyam spoke, to late.

You rode Amhel up to the rock and looked down you were sure to die if you jumped and no one caught you. "Perfect." You thought.

Meanwhile on the shore your older brother and sister sit down and put their face in there palms. "Told you, something stupid." Neteyam muttered to the group. Ao'nung had his transparent eyebrows furrowed as he looks between you and your brother. "What is she going to do?" He asked as you got of of Amhel. "Just watch it's so cool." Lo'ak said.

You disconnected you queue as you let the side of your head. "Remember catch me." You whisper to her and she only gives you a small chirp in response as she takes flight. She circles around the rock getting ready to catch her rider. You take one more look down stepping back a few steps you take a deep breath. Closing your eyes you run and jump. Falling through the air you could hear Tsireya yelling, "She's gonna die, she's not gonna catch her!!" This time your siblings got up and started yelling Neteyam jumped to his ilu ready to rush toward you and then everyone stopped as the heard you. "Why are you guys so serious." From behind them.

"Holy shit that was cool." Lo'ak laughed you got off of Amhel and walked to them sitting down in the sand letting the warm sun hit your skin. "I thought you were going to die." Tsireya said sitting down next to you. "Not today." You say smiling as you close your eyes.

"You did What!" You father yelled, you have Lo'ak a side eye, why did he have to be such a blabber mouth. "It wasn't anything serious me and Amhel used to do it all the time back home." You say putting your hand on your hip. "Okay we'll talk about that later but you jumped off a cliff that was over fifty feet in the air, what the fuck is wrong with you." Clenching your teeth, "Nothing is wrong with, I'm sorry I'm not an uptight asshole and like to have fun." You say suddenly feeling defensive as to why he asked what was wrong with you. "Don't curse at me and that's not fun you could have killed yourself." He yelled and you only rolled your eyes. "No more riding Amhel." He said and your face dropped. "What t-thats not fair." You protest before your father clicks his tongue. "Fine." Was all you said before storming up to your room of the pod.

It had been a little past eclipse and your shoulders felt heavy and that question ran through your mind over and over again, "What the fuck is wrong with you." Your father's words never stuck but this did. Your hands shaked you jumped out from under the hand-made blanket your mother gave you. You tiptoe over to your bag and rummage through it and you found it. You bit your lip as you looked at the blade. You sit on your cot and grabbed the blanket you were previously covering up with, putting it between your teeth you bit down, now you look at the blade and you press it onto your upper arm, pressing down hard you guide the blade down you sighed and bite the blanket because of the pain, but the more pressure you put into the cuts the more mental relief you felt. You dropped the blade and looked at your hand you held it so hard it cut through your fingers.

You let the blanket slip through your teeth and your breath was heavy and then you look up and your eyes were met with ones of your mother. You gasp. Flipping the blanket over your arm and hide the blade. Neytiri walks closer bottom lips shaking, "Show me." She demands and you only look away wiping the tears away from you face. "Show me." She says this time a little harsher. "Fine mom, you wanna see!" You say loudly getting up and the balde falls to the ground, you show her what you had just did, then you ripped the bandages you had on your thighs and then your hands. "Is this what you wanted to see." You say crying. Neytiri tilts her head as she falls to the ground. "My baby, my daughter my special girl." She cried out holding the blade throwing it across the room. "Mom don't cry." You say holding yourself looking from your mother's broken figure.

Neytiri was gasping through her tears, "Was it me was it Jake, did we do something, did we do something wrong I know we haven't been the best parents but I tried to protect you I-"

"No it's not you or dad it's me I'm fucked up, I'm fucked up but it's not you mom it's not you." You say falling to the ground next to her. She looks at you and holds your arms, going over every scar she helped heal and guilt fills her. You cry watching her reaction and then she brings you close, "It's okay my special baby, my sweet girl." She coos rocking you back and forth as your tears soak her chest. "I'm sorry mama I'm sorry."

"nothing to be sorry for my sweet." She said guiding you back to the bed holding you she pressed sweet loving kisses to your wrist. "Nothing wrong my sweet girl." She whispered holding you as she did when you were a child and your cries softened and your eyes began to get heavy for the first time you felt loved, you felt safe.

[toruro]

— ✧ exes and oh's

pairing. choi seungcheol x reader

description. when your ex-best friend breaks up with your other ex-best friend, you’re stuck between keeping this door (that you never wanted closed) shut tight, and making amends. naturally, choosing to let your heart open to the person who ripped it apart isn’t the easiest of decisions, but then again, life has a funny way of making you choose.

tags. smut (18+), UNEDITED (i wrote this mostly when i was half asleep, there will be missing words), angst, oral (f receiving), petnames, past toxic relationships/ friendships, referenced cheating, alcohol consumption (+ mentions of vomiting + poor decisions abt alcohol in general), rebuilding relationships, trust issues, joshua is extremely protective it's honestly a little annoying, a disgusting amount of internal monologue i am So sorry, theres a lot in this one so if i missed anything lmk

fic playlist.

w/c. 15.8k+

a/n. 1K SPECIAL SORRY IT'S A LITTLE LATE...anyways i really tried to make sure this wasn't super corny but i prob got carried away i can't even tell anymore. update. this is cringe as hell

Your day today is slow, like every other. You aren’t sure why you expect anything different—well maybe you do know. It’s the optimist in you, a small voice in your head says, as you drop down your bookbag next to Joshua’s chair, the two of you slipping into your seats. Optimism my ass, you shoot back at yourself.

“Can you cover my shift?” Joshua asks, turning to you on his chair. You two have just finished your econ lecture and are sitting in the library to catch up on notes.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you give him a wary look. “Joshua,” you whine, pulling out your notebook and pen down.

“C’mon you said you needed some extra cash, and I need the night off anyways. I’ll get you back with something,” he promises as you narrow your eyes.

“Now what do you have that makes you need the night off?”

“Well there’s this party—” he pauses when you huff.

“And what’s to say I wouldn’t like to go to this party?” you retort, slightly annoyed that he expects you to cover his shift over something like this.

Joshua signs, running a hand through his hair. “Well I can say that I don’t think you would be especially keen on going,” he tells you honestly, and then when you catch the look in his eyes you falter.

You think about probing further, but second guess yourself—you probably shouldn’t. It isn’t good for your heart. You are trying to work on putting yourself, your heart, first, but as they say, curiosity killed the cat. “Why do you say that?” you ask, and Joshua gives you that look.

He knows where this is going, and he’s slightly disappointed in you for going against your personal goal of not bringing it up. Then again, he doesn’t control you, and while he can try to guide you down the path of reparations and healing, he can’t force you anywhere.

“Cheol’s birthday is tomorrow,” he tells you like you don’t know. Like you don’t still have it marked down in bright blue sharpie on your calendar. It’s only been six months since you’ve last talked to him, and you don’t feel the need to buy a whole new calendar for the sake of getting rid of his and Yejin’s name.

That, and you don’t think taking his name off would help you forget anyways. Ten years, you think to yourself, ten years shouldn’t be disposed of as easily as a calendar, although it seems Yejin and Cheol had no problem doing just that.

Joshua catches you zoning out. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“No it’s okay,” you sigh, leaning back in your chair. “It’s not like I didn’t know, I don’t know why I asked.” Joshua looks at you sadly.

“The party…it’s going to be a big one, since Soonyoung is throwing it. You can come if you really want, you probably won’t run into Seungcheol anyways,” Joshua offers.

You scrunch up your face, shaking your head. “And Yejin? Either way, I don’t want to even think about how it would look if I showed up to a party for his birthday.”

Joshua gives you a wear look. “You don’t know?”

“Huh? Know what?”

“Cheol and Yejin broke up a while ago.”

“Oh.” You blink once, then twice, staring down at your shoes before inhaling sharply.

“I’m sorry. I thought you knew.”

You shrug, responding, “Whatever. Don’t apologize. I don’t have any business with either of them anyways.”

“Okay but—”

“Seriously Josh,” you mutter, turning to him so he can see the pleading look on your face. “Let’s talk about something else, yeah? I’ll cover your shift.” Joshua gives you a tentative look, opening his mouth before you stop him. “Seriously,” you repeat, “It’s fine.”

And the truth is, you are fine. Sure it hurts when you think about them too much, and even if they are broken up, it doesn’t really make you feel much better, but you are okay. Your days are often dull, yes, but you aren’t unhappy. You’re content, and being in your final year of university, you figure that being content is all you need.

Excitement and love are not quite at the forefront of your mind, and while it does cause a nasty knot to build up in your throat when you think about Cheol and Yejin and all the fun times you have spent with them, you quietly tell yourself that things just played out the way they were supposed to.

You tell yourself that if it didn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to work out. That your life had plans, and that those plans didn’t include them.

As you walk home, you scoff to yourself, thinking about how Cheol and Yejin were willing to give up ten years of friendship with you—with each other—for something that didn’t even last half a year.

Of course it’s painful, but at the end of the day, you’re okay with that.

“You’re pathetic,” Yejin spits out, and you feel yourself growing dizzy. Her animosity that’s more apparent than ever is all you can think about it, and it has your jaw going slack. “How could you—” her face contorts into something so full of hate that you brace yourself for her next words, “How could you do this to me?”

You still, blinking as you let the words sink in. You want to argue, to fight back, to defend yourself, but the words fall flat on your tongue. You want to scream, I didn’t do anything to you, want to tell her that your feelings aren’t there to hurt her, but you can’t. “Yejin—”

“It doesn’t even matter now,” she cuts you off, sucking in a sharp breath, her face that was momentarily scrunched up into anger is now relaxing, looking back at the door where music booms from the party.

“Are you just going to leave?” you manage to ask, steading your breaths as best as you can. Yejin looks at you and from the way she’s slightly taller than you, you nearly cower back in anticipation for her next words.

Yejin always did tend to have a bit of a mean streak, but only towards those she felt had wronged her—never to you. Always had a snarky comment to throw, but never in your direction. Always ready to be on the offense if she felt she needed to, and for the first time in your ten years of friendship, you know what it’s like to be on the receiving end.

Yejin never answers your question. “Cheol likes me,” she tells you as if it isn’t obvious. As if you haven’t mulled over that fact for the past month, the tell-tale lips of Joshua spilling you Seungcheol’s secrets many nights before. “He doesn’t like you.” Yejin pauses. “Because you’re boring.”

Your world stills. Everything was spinning in a hazy maze a moment ago but now it all has paused and her words are hitting you in slow motion. “What?” you try to ask but your voice comes out hardly above a whisper.

Yejin scoffs, and you know in this moment that that is the meanest thing she could have done. “You’re boring,” she repeats, “and that’s why—” she takes a deep breath, “—even if he didn’t like me, he wouldn’t like you, so I’m telling you now to give up.”

You gulp, and the words spill out of your mouth before you can stop. “I was never going to make a move on him,” you retort, finally finding the words stuck in your throat, and while you gain confidence for a moment, it withers away when you catch the amused look on Yejin’s face. “I can’t believe you would think I’d go for him if you liked him.”

“That’s your problem!” Yejin exclaims exasperatedly. “You were going to do nothing even if none of us found out,” she spits out, and you feel your knees growing wobbly again as Yejin continues. “You claim you love him but you’re just willing to give him up like that? That’s pathetic. You are pathetic.”

She turns on her heel, and you call out to her one last time. “Are you—”

“Get Joshua to drive you home,” is the last thing she ever says to you.

Taking Joshua’s shift is boring. Not that you expect anything different—getting you excited for work is not one of your optimism’s capabilities. Evenings at the coffee shop are busier than one would expect, but after considering the fact that it’s the only one open past seven p.m. on campus, the crowd begins to make sense.

You spend your time making drinks for the many students who are—much like yourself—simply trying to get through the night, but you would be lying if you say you don’t notice that the turn out is a little…smaller. After all, it is a Friday evening and Soonyoung’s parties are infamous on campus for being…well for being thrown by Soonyoung.

He’ll invite anyone and everyone, so you wouldn’t be surprised if your instagram feed will be filled with nothing but pictures from Cheol’s party tonight. Not that you care. You don’t want to go, you have no reason to.

Still, you wonder: would Yejin show up? If they did break up, like Joshua told you, what were the circumstances? Are they still friends? What happened? Why did they—

No.You shouldn’t do this to yourself, you can’t. Yejin isn’t your friend anymore, and neither is Cheol. What happened between them shouldn’t be your business—it isn’t. Leave it alone, you tell yourself, tapping your foot on the ground.

Yet, every time you look over the empty seats that fill the cafe, you’re reminded of just why not many people are here tonight. Seungcheol. Chewing on your bottom lip, you go against your better judgment and pull out your phone, immediately tapping on instagram.

Your stories are filled with a plethora of videos and pictures from the house that Cheol shares with Jeonghan and some other friends. It’s dark both inside and out, the only thing illuminating the house being led lights and pool lights in the backyard.Fondly, you remember last summer and Cheol’s birthday, which was spent at his house with you. Yejin, and some other friends in his pool from morning ‘til night. Fun times, you think, and you quietly wonder if Cheol will remember those memories today, or if he will leave them in his dust.

Tapping through the stories, you purse your lips together, inhale sharply, and begin to make yourself a drink. It’s too late in the evening for you to be thinking about this.

Seungcheol’s head is pounding. He can hear his heartbeat ringing in his ears and then there’s the music that has its vibrations going straight to his heart as he stumbles over his own words.

Lights everywhere flashing different colors and he isn’t sure when one cup turns into two, which turns into three, which turns into fuck-knows-how-many until Jeonghan is grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and pushing him into an empty room, calling Joshua over.

Again, Seungcheol’s head is pounding. And he fucking loves it.

Joshua and Jeonghan, on the other hand, are frustrated. Cheol is trying to push through them, clawing for the door as his legs hit each other in a mangled mess until he’s falling onto them as they hold him back.

“You guys can’t fucking do this,” he whines, throwing his head back as he brings a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

“When you said you were going to go crazy tonight,” Joshua mutters, “I didn’t realize you meant literally. Are fucking insane?” he hisses.

Cheol gives him an angry look, seeming to sober up for a moment as he straightens his back. “It’s my birthday, giving me a fucking break.”

“If you keep acting like this it’s going to be your death day soon too,” Jeonghan warns, earning him a glare.

“Seriously, do you want alcohol poisoning or something?” Joshua agrees. “Don’t drink anything else for the night, I’m serious.”

“And if I do?” Seungcheol challenges.

“We’ll tell Soonyoung to call it all off. You know he’ll do it if we ask,” Jeonghan states simply.

Cheol scoffs, but doesn’t reply, exercising his last bit of common sense to understand what Jeonghan and Joshua say, they mean. He needs to tread lightly.

Not that he cares much. He hasn’t got much to lose—Cheol only suggested this party because he knew that if it was anything short of big, he’d be reminded of the missing holes in his life right now.

His plan was unsuccessful, clearly, because even with cups after cups of spike punch, he’s still mulling over the fact there’s over a hundred people in this house and not a single one of them is you. Cheol had asked Joshua to bring it up with you—asked him to lead you in the right direction. The right direction being him.

He wasn’t really sure what his expectations were when he suggested it, but now it’s clear that Cheol really was expecting you to show up. He didn’t prepare for any other outcome, especially not one like this, where he’s wasted before the clock even strikes twelve. He’s on the verge of passing out when Joshua leaves the room, only Jeonghan and Cheol in each other’s presence as the former makes sure his elder doesn’t collapse.

Seungcheol’s head is pounding and he thinks it feels fucking great.

Fuck, he really needs to throw up.

You’re back at the cafe two days later, once again spending your evening serving students. It’s a bit of a lighter day, so only you and Jeongyeon are working, catching up and making light conversation through the day.

“Tired?” you ask her, when you catch her leaning against the counter with a wince.

She nods, turning up to look at you. “Chemistry is killing me. I want to cry just thinking about my next exam,” whe groans, throwing her head back. “I think humans have evolved too much. There’s no reason we should have explore this much about like, fucking atoms. Why can’t we just be happy creatures—ignorance is bliss, after all.”

You laugh out loud, not bothering to look at the door when you hear the bell of its opening ringing. “Take a break, yeah? I’ll manage for the next half an hour, if you just wanna sit and chill for a bit,” you offer, Jeongyeon letting out a sigh of relief.

“Are you serious?” she exclaims before hugging you tightly. “I fucking love you,” she says, pulling away and hopping down the back counter and to the back room while you smile widely before turning around to face the new customer at the counter.

Your smile drops faster than you can blink.

Seungcheol’s smile, at one time, was among one of your favorite sights on the whole damn planet. Now, you can’t help but turn away, too scared to look him in the eye. Scared that if you look long enough, you’ll find something you aren’t ready to see.

Don’t falter, you tell yourself. You haven’t been healing for months for it to amount to nothing. “What can I get you?” you ask casually, looking down at the cashier tablet, pretending to look through the catalog.

You didn’t look at him long enough to see if his smile vanished just as quickly as yours, to see if he expected you, to know what he was thinking at all honestly. You aren’t ready for that, and it’s pathetic, you think to yourself.

“Uh,” is the first thing you hear Cheol say to you after six months. You aren’t sure what you’re expecting him to follow with, but it is most definitely not, “Don’t you know my usual?”

It takes all your self control to not snap your eyes up and say, of course I know your usual, I never forgot, how could I forget, it’s always an iced latte with—“No, sorry, I don’t,” you say flatly, still not looking at him.

Cheol is slightly surprised by your choice of words, partly because when Joshua told him that your door was shut and not going to budge open, he didn’t really believe him. Maybe he knew he wouldn’t be able to hit it straight off the bat when he tried to reconcile, but he definitely wasn’t expecting this.

Not that he planned this—he knew you worked here, just not when. Cheol was just struck with luck when he walked in, ready to order a coffee when his eyes landed on your familiar figure this evening, and as an opportunist, he just couldn’t turn down the chance to try and talk to you.

Of course now, he isn’t sure if this course of action was the right one—you were never cold, not to him, not to Yejin, not to anyone really. It’s weird, he thinks.

“Iced latte with hazelnut syrup, please,” he replies with a small nod of acceptance. Joshua was right. Your door was locked.

“Your drink will come out over there,” you say, pointing over to the left counter. “Cash or card?”

He thinks it’s worth a shot to try again. “When was the last time I used anything but card?” Cheol accepts defeat when you don’t crack a smile, not even one bit.

“So you’re using card?” you ask plainly, turning the tablet over so he can swipe down. Cheol chuckles nervously as he pulls out his wallet. He doesn’t say anything after that, and for that, you are grateful.

Once he’s done paying, you turn on your heel quickly and make his drink. You don’t look up, don’t turn back—you don’t know if you’re ready to see him watching you, if he is at all. You aren’t sure what you’d like more: having him watching you, or having him not.

Gulping down a hard lump in your throat as you wait to pull the shot of espresso, you think deeply. It’s just how Jeongyeon said it, you figure: ignorance is bliss.

Jeongyeon thinks parties aren’t your thing. “They just don’t suit you,” she explains when you’re working one afternoon.

You furrow your eyebrows. “What do you mean not my thing?”

She shrugs, carrying in some boxes of cups. “It’s not a bad thing—I’m not calling you boring or anything—I’m just saying. You’re a very work-at-a-coffee-shop kind of girl, and not a let’s-go-party kind of girl, you know?”

The word bounces around in your mind. Boring.

“I can be both,” you huff. “You’re only saying this because I actually do work at a coffee shop.”

“Whatever,” Jeongyeon shrugs. “Come with me tonight then?”

You scrunch up your face. “Tonight? I work tonight,” you tell her with a frown.

“Get Hyunwoo to cover your shift then, I’m sure he’ll do it,” she suggests. You sigh, pulling out your phone to text your other co-worker.

“Okay, but if he says no it isn’t my fault.”

“Ya-da, ya-da, ya-da,” Jeongyeon mutters, waving her hand at you with a sly grin. “So I’ll see you tonight?” he asks with an eyebrow raised.

“If Hyunwoo is willing to give up his Saturday evening, I guess so.”

“Ugh, he better agree. Tell him if he does it, I’ll set him up on a date with Nayeon.”

You roll your eyes with a small giggle. “You need to stop using her to get what you want—she’s going to stop being your friend if you keep setting her up on dates so people can do you favors.”

“If that ends up happening…” Jeongyeon’s voice trails off as she glances at you. “…well that’s what you’re here for!”

It’s how you end up putting on some cute pants and black crop top that you’ve been saving for a night just like. Jeongyeon and you are ubering the way to whoever’s house this party is at, and you’re pretty sure neither of you have a good idea of how you’re supposed to get home, but that’s a problem for another time.

When you arrive, the house is already packed, but the two of you don’t have too much trouble slipping through the open door and into the crowd of people that fill each room. You haven’t been to a party in a while, and the loud music along with the rush you naturally feel when you're around so many people starts to return to you.

You see many faces—mostly ones you recognize, but the names fall flat on your tongue. Like you said, it’s been a while since you’ve come to a party.

When you make your way to the kitchen, you’re greeted by a kind, familiar voice. Smiling at Joshua as he calls out your name, you give him a sideways hug before you make your way to the counter with all the drinks. “Fancy seeing you here,” he teases, and you push him lightly. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“Jeongyeon invited me last minute…I had to get Hyunwoo to take my shift,” you explain.

“Ah, that makes sense,” and there’s a funny look on his face when he says it.

“What’s with that face?”

“Nothing! It’s just…”

“Just what?”

“You know Hyunwoo likes you, right?” Joshua says casually, pouring you a cup of punch. Usually, you don’t trust what other people hand to you, but Joshua is a safe exception.

“What?” you ask, eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets. “You’re lying. Did he tell you that?”

“Not directly…but it’s obvious. Seriously, who gives up their Saturday evening unless they’re making major bank or they have a crush.”

“Whatever. He’s a sophomore,” you murmur, taking a sip of the drink. It’s so sweet it almost masks the taste of alcohol. “Plus, he’s not my type. And I’m not interested in dating. I have too much going on,” you list.

“Please,” Joshua scoffs. “Your thesis and being a barista is not too much.”

“Shut up! I’m here, at a party, aren’t I?”

“Will you come to the next one?”

“That depends.”

“On?” he asks hopefully.

“Hm,” you hum, tapping a finger on your chin. “When, where, who, why, how.”

“Ugh, you’re seriously annoying about this. Just show up when I call you next, okay?”

“No promises. This night better be good if you want me to live up to that.”

“Well I’m not throwing this party so I can’t control that.”

You grin. “Too bad.” You’re having fun, you realize, even if it’s with the comfort of Joshua. You’re glad Jeongyeon brought you here. Joshua glances around for a moment and then back at you, opening his mouth to speak. “Don’t worry about me,” you tell him before he can say anything, “I can take care of myself.”

“I know, I just—” he stops himself. You know where this is going, and Joshua knows he doesn’t really need to say it. Cheol is here.

“It’s okay,” you tell him, patting his shoulder firmly, and in this moment you aren’t lying. Not to yourself, not to Joshua. It is okay. You are okay.

He watches you for a moment and then nods, ruffling your hair for a moment before waving goodbye to head off in some other room. You spend the next few minutes tossing your now empty cup to the side, heading off to some other room to find Jeongyeon. She’s dancing with some friends and the moment her eyes lay on you, she notices the deep flush to your face.

Calling you over, you dance with Jeongyeon, music blaring in your ear as you’re pressed up against her and other girls you’re sure you knew the names of at some point in your life. It’s exhilarating for a moment, but then suddenly, after around fifteen minutes, it isn’t.

“I’m going to head out for a breather,” you tell Jeongyeon loudly over the music, and she doesn’t seem to hear your words but with the way you’re pointing at the back door, she figures out what you’re saying. Nodding with a thumbs up, she smiles before turning back to dance along with her friends as you slip out of the huddle of people.

You notice a familiar face from the corner of your vision, but you feel too hot and the air is too stuffy for you to bear another second longer, escaping to the backyard.

It’s quiet outside. The night air is cool, and you now realize why no one is out in the pool like they usually are. Looking down at your feet, you contemplate your next actions for a moment before rolling up the hem of your pants until your knees and sitting by the edge of the pool, dipping in your legs.

You hiss at the cool feeling for a moment, but quickly adjust—you’ve been feeling too hot all evening and this is exactly what you need to take a moment to calm down. Alcohol has never quite been your best friend, the liquid always sending a flush of heat through your whole body.

The water soothes you, and you feel at peace for a moment. Then there’s the sound of the door sliding open and a familiar patter of footsteps thuds against the concrete.

“Isn’t the water cold?” Jeonghan says casually, standing next to you.

You shrug. “I needed to cool down.”

“Hm, fair,” he murmurs, sitting down himself and crossing his legs on the concrete edge of the pool. “It’s been a minute.”

“Has it?” you reply quietly. Yeah. It’s only been six months. You don’t let Jeonghan know that you’ve been counting.

“You don’t stop by to drop off the old pastries anymore,” he says. “Mingyu tries to make croissants now, but it’s the one thing he isn’t great at baking.”

You aren’t sure if it’s the alcohol speaking but you’re blunt when you respond, “That sucks.” Jeonghan laughs quietly, nodding. He isn’t used to you being like this —when Cheol said you were different, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t really this.

“How’s school? You working on your thesis and shit?”

You shrug. “I guess. Busy times.”

“You’re being awfully cold,” Jeonghan says with a tick of his tongue. “D’you not have any drinks—you’re always more fun when you’re drunk.”

“Thanks,” you mutter with furrowed eyebrows. Yejin used to tell you that.

“Sorry, that was rude,” Jeonghan says quickly when he notices how you still. “I didn’t mean it like that—I mean, I guess everyone is more fun when they’re drunk.” You chuckle a little at that and he lets out a sigh of relief at the fact that he’s able to get you to loosen up, even just a little. There’s an awkward silence that settles over the two of you as he watches you as you kick your feet in the water. Jeonghan thinks he might take his chances.“He misses you.”

You feel tears well up in your eyes, and you really hope Jeonghan doesn’t notice. You hate how you know who he’s talking about right away, not needing to say the name. “Jeonghan,” you say, and you know that your wobbly voice gives it all away, “Do you really think that’s fair?”

He says your name, and you turn away.

“Do you think that’s fair to me?” Jeonghan doesn’t say anything, so you continue. “He misses me? What about me? What about how I feel? Has Cheol thought about that? Has he?”

“I’m not trying to say it’s fair, I’m just telling you how he’s feeling—”

“Okay? There isn’t much for me to do about it,” you reply quickly. “Cheol and Yejin—” you let out a humorless laugh, “—it isn’t fair. Life isn’t fair. I was able to deal with it. I’m sure Cheol can too.”

“He’s really upset with himself for it,” Jeonghan tries to reason. “Even when he was with Yejin. They’d have arguments about it.”

“Okay? It’s not like I asked him to do that. It’s not like he was my friend to tell me about it.”

“Well if you would just listen—”

“No, you listen,” you say firmly, scrunching up your eyebrows. “Did you know what Yejin said to me the last time we spoke?” Jeonghan shakes his head. “She told me I was boring,” you spit out, and you realize that it’s the first time you’ve ever actually recounted that night to anyone but yourself. “And that she wasn’t even mad that I liked Cheol, but that she hated how I let her have him.” You pause to wipe away some tears. “And she was right. I didn’t put myself first. I could have told Cheol first, could’ve worked things out before she found out, could’ve done something for him, but I didn’t, and I’m not going to make that same mistake again so right now I am going to put myself first.”

Jeonghan is frowning now at the intake of all this information. It’s his first time hearing your side of the story, and he can’t help but get confused with the different timeline’s he’s got going on inside of his head. “Is this really putting yourself first?” he finally asks, and you glare at him.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m just saying. He was your best friend for a whole decade. Maybe having him back in your life will do more good than you think.”

You scoff. “You mean do Cheol more good to his life. Don’t look at me like that—what do you know about me that makes you so sure of this?”

“Cheol knows you, you know him, and as far as I know, you could use a friend or two.”

“Thanks for calling me friendless,” you say dryly. “But in case you haven’t noticed, I’m fine. I am over it, and I don’t mind having two less friends. And either way, Cheol couldn’t have been that good of a friend if he was willing to just let go of me like that after all those years.” Jeonghan stays silent. “I don’t need more drama in my life anyways,” you conclude, pulling your feet out of the water and standing up.

“You’re not going to give him a second chance?”

You don’t answer as you walk away.

Choi Seungcheol isn’t drunk, for once in his life. Okay that is an exaggeration, but it’s the first time in a few months that he isn’t stumbling over himself at a party. It’s the first time in a long while that he hasn’t even had a sip of alcohol at this outing, and honestly, he’s quite proud of himself.

He knows why that is, and he isn’t afraid to admit it. When Joshua walks past him and gives him a funny look, Cheol knows what’s up. “No drinks?” Joshua asks, quirking up a brow.

“Joshua,” he murmurs, and he’s surprised his friend can even hear him over the music. “Jeonghan is talking to her.”

Joshua purses his lips. “Yeah, I know.”

Choi Seungcheol is quiet at a party, for the first time in…well pretty much ever. He isn’t under the influence, but it feels like everything is racing through his mind at a hundred miles per hour. Leaning against the wall, Joshua softens his gaze.

“Loosen up,” he says, and then thinks again. “And please don’t do anything stupid.”

“I’m not drunk,” Cheol scoffs, standing up straight as he glances out the back door, watching you kick the pool water. He remembers his birthday party over a year ago—the pool, you, Yejin, fun. Cheol walks away, not sure where he’s heading and Joshua, using his better judgment, doesn’t follow.

Choi Seungcheol isn’t drunk, but he might as well be out of his damn mind.

Tonight is not your night.

Your head is pounding. You fucking hate it. You don’t like getting drunk, at least not like this. Not in the way that you’re seeing two of everything. Not in the way that your body feels like it’s on fire, sweat soaking your sheen black shirt. Not in the way that you’re thinking about everything you shouldn’t.

After your conversation with Jeonghan, you realize you don’t have an answer. Pandora’s box is too tempting, and all your better judgment tells you to leave this door closed. To bury it up, throw it into the ocean, burn it—anything to keep it away from you, but the alcohol that courses through your veins brings the memories flooding back.

Now, you aren’t sure if your head hurts from thinking about Cheol, or from the alcohol, or both.

It’s too much.

You lean against one of the steps as you sit on the stairs, clutching a bottle of water close to your chest. Jeongyeon is…she’s fuck knows where. You lost track of her hours ago—after you came back in from the backyard, you got lost in conversations with people you haven’t caught up with in ages, and one thing led to the next and now you’re on nth drink.

You feel dizzy and the cup in your hand without the water bottle slips past your fingers and before you can act quick enough, the cup is tumbling down the two steps in front of you and spilling all over the floor. Granted, it isn’t the only mess made in this house tonight, and by the looks of it, it won’t be the last, but you still feel bad, quickly scrambling up to pick up your cup and find some tissues.

As you lean forward and stumble over the steps a little, you realize your center of gravity is off and you’re about to fall forward, quickly holding out your hands to brace your fall. As you land on the ground with a thud, your mind spins—everything spins, you feel too warm, and then you feel your drink stain your pants in the spot you fell onto and—fuck, this really is too much for you.

Maybe you should’ve just accepted what Jeongyeon said. Maybe—fuck, who are you kidding—parties definitely don’t suit you. You’d be a fool to deny that now, especially when you’re aching to just leave already, even though you never made any plans of getting home.

That problem that you saved to deal with “at a later time” is becoming a problem you need to deal with now and you race through your options, all while seated on the floor, forgetting about how you need to clean up this mess.

It’s when your head starts to hurt and you scrunch up your face in hopes to soothe your headache when you hear his voice. A warm hand wrapped around your wrist and then it’s pulling you up and onto your wobbly legs. “Let’s get you out of here,” Cheol mumbles, and without weighing the consequences of your actions, you nod along.

You don’t care anymore. You need to leave, and if Cheol is the path to getting out, you won’t mind.

When his arms lead you out the front door and into the night, you feel cold. Extremely cold. Maybe it’s because your body is so warm, maybe it’s because the wet alcohol on your pants is sending shivers up your spine—maybe it’s that you’re starting to slowly realize who you’re with.

Standing on the grass, you aren’t sure what to do now. What should you do? What does Cheol want you to do—you stop yourself. It shouldn’t matter what he wants you to do, you remind yourself, so why do you find your gaze lazily making its way over to his face?

Fuck ignorance and its bliss. Right now, you want to know what Cheol is thinking. He’s looking down at you, and suddenly you feel small. His face isn’t demeaning, it’s not angry, he’s not upset, but you just feel so pathetic.

And god, do you hate that word. It echoes in your head. Your dirtied pants, flushed and puffy cheeks, disheveled hair, all as you struggle to stand up—pathetic. You turn away from him, not being able to watch him watch you any longer.

“Let me drive you home,” he says finally over the thick air.

“You’re drunk,” you protest mindlessly—you don’t have a clue if that’s true at all, but knowing Cheol, it probably is.

“I haven’t had anything all night.” Nevermind, you tell yourself, maybe you don’t know him at all. Can six months really change a person that much?

Cheol is thinking the same thing about you. Your eyes are glossy and you look so out of it and he can’t even remember the last time he saw you like this—the only memories he has are when you first got drunk with him and Yejin in high school. The memory shoots an arrow at his heart, but he brushes off the feeling, focusing on you right now.

“Trust me,” he says. You blink a few times, staring at the ground, then at the sky, and then at Cheol. “Trust me,” he repeats, and now you remember just how well you know him. Cheol isn’t asking right now, no, he’s begging. You think as deeply as your wasted mind will let you.

Do you trust Cheol? No.

Cheol hurt you. Yejin hurt you.

Is this about Yejin? No.

Do you trust Cheol? No.

What is this about? I don’t know.

Do you trust Cheol? I don’t know.

Can you trust Cheol? …

He places a hand on your shoulder and the touch is firm.

Can you trust Cheol? Of course you can.

His eyes are soft as you look up at him.

Do you trust Cheol? Absolutely.

Optimism would say that you left the door unlocked. Joshua would disagree and say that you weren’t going to be inside even if the door was wide open. Jeonghan, surprisingly, doesn’t agree with Joshua—your words were harsh, but the water streaming down your cheeks told him that there was more going on in your head than you let on.

Seungcheol tends to only listen to what he wants to hear, at least that’s what all his friends have noticed. They saw it with Yejin—ignoring all the red flags, late nights of arguing until Cheol would murmur, “it’s fine, let’s just go to sleep.” Reality wasn’t the easiest for him to face, and now it’s more apparent than ever.

“He’s too optimistic about her,” Joshua sighs, throwing himself onto his friend’s couch the morning after. He slept over at his friends’ place, and they follow carefully behind him now.

“He still has hope?” Mingyu asks incredulously, sitting on an armchair.

“Too much of it,” Joshua replies, sitting up straight so that there’s room for Jeonghan on the couch.

“She’s still nice to me,” Mingyu says thoughtfully. “Maybe she doesn’t hate him.”

“Well that doesn’t mean anything,” Jeonghan says. “She’s still close friends with Joshua, so I don’t think she’s going to let that whole situation get in the way of her own friendships.”

Joshua nods in agreement, adding, “That, and I never said she hated Cheol.”

Mingyu furrows his eyebrows. “She doesn’t?”

“I don’t think she ever did,” Joshua says honestly, leaning back into the cushions as he stretches his arms.

“Really? I would’ve,” Mingyu admits and Jeonghan rolls his eyes.

“We know that you would,” he teases, causing the taller boy to pout but keep his mouth shut. “Anyways, I think Cheol is going to keep trying.”

“I know he will,” Joshua mutters, running a hand over his face. “He’s going to go in circles after her.”

“She’s not gonna give in?” Mingyu asks, and Joshua shakes his head, but Jeonghan puts his hand up in protest.

“I think she might eventually come ‘round to a stop,” he says, and Joshua shoots him a look of surprise. “I dunno, I know you and her are close, but I just have a feeling. We’ll have to see.”

“Don’t let Cheol hear that. He’ll take it as a sign to never stop,” Joshua warns.

Seungcheol doesn’t hear this conversation now or ever, but he never had plans of stopping in the first place. He was always more optimistic than you—than anyone you knew, really—and anyone who knows him should know better than to underestimate the extent of his determination.

Jeonghan and Joshua are making that mistake right now, and even though Cheol will never know what they said, he is determined to prove them wrong, for the sake of his own sanity.

Jeongyeon picks up the phone after the first ring. “I am so sorry,” she babbles into the line. “I—fuck—we should’ve figured out a ride—I mean I should’ve figured out a ride since I basically forced you to come and I knew I would be drinking and—god, I am so sorry.”

Your head rings at the way her voice blares through the phone, and you sit up and against your headboard. You woke up only moments ago, greeted by a million texts from Jeongyeon, not bothering to soothe your hangover headache before calling her back—she must have been worried, you told yourself.

“It’s okay,” you mumble, reaching over to grab some water from your bedside table. “I got a safe ride home.”

“Yeah, Joshua told me…but still, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you to find a ride on your own.” “Don’t apologize Jeongyeon, I left you without a ride too so stop apologizing or else you’ll start to make me feel bad.”

You can hear her huff on the other end, and you smile. “Okay fine, but seriously. I’ll cover one of your shifts or something soon because I feel bad for even taking you. You looked miserable.”

“That was only because Jeonghan came up to me,” you tell her honestly.

“Jeonghan? Like Seungcheol’s friend?” she says, and you can tell from her voice that she’s hesitating to even say his name.

“Yes,” you sigh softly. Jeongyeon wants to know more, you can feel it, but you aren’t in the mood to bring it up, at least not with her. “It’s whatever. I’ll see you Wednesday?”

She pauses for a moment, seemingly trying to comprehend your quick switch of topics. “Uh, sure. Text me if you need anything, okay?”

“Mhm,” you hum, pulling back your phone as you click to hang up. Letting your head fall back onto your pillow, you inhale deeply. You remember the night before too vividly—even if you were drunk, there was too much happening for you to forget.

You know you can’t forget, so you decide to do just what you’ve been doing for the past half year: ignore. It’s what you’re best at, after all. Yet as your day goes on, your mind begins to trail off. You think, and you think, and you think until you aren’t sure what was real and what was not from last night.

You start to realize that you aren’t as good at ignoring as you like to think.

“You think too much,” Hyunwoo jokes, watching you stare at the shot of espresso in front of you. You’d made it for yourself as an attempt to feel more energized after your lecture, but you find yourself zoning out as the small cup sits on the counter, waiting for you to gulp it down.

“Uh, sorry,” you murmur, shaking your head a little. “This shift is light and we haven’t had any customers in a few minutes so I just…”

“It’s fine,” Hyunwoo replies with a smile, and you purse your lips. Ever since Joshua told you that Hyunwoo likes you, you’ve been warning yourself to tread lightly. Not that he isn’t a good guy—Hyunwoo is great—he’s just not your type.

What is your type? The thought is swept out of your mind before you even come up with an answer, swooping up the shot of espresso and holding it up to your lips.

It’s been three days since the party, and you haven’t talked to Joshua in a minute, so your mind is slightly frazzled. Hyunwoo is nice, but you miss the comfort of your close friend, and maybe you’re just a little curious to see if he has anything to say about Cheol driving you home that night.

You’re sure he does—you can already predict his words: “you told yourself you wouldn’t talk to him.” Joshua might be harsh with his words, but you feel with the way you’ve been losing your damn mind recently, you need someone like him to bring you back to reality.

Maybe that’s what went wrong with you, with Cheol, with Yejin—with the three of you. You and Cheol were too lost in fantasies, Yejin always holding you two down. She was right—Cheol wouldn’t like you. Two people who didn’t know a reality other than their imaginations couldn’t work out.

Cheol needed someone to ground himself, you needed someone to ground yourself, and at the end of the day, Yejin chose to help him. You still think about what you would have done if you were in her situation, and after months, you can’t come up with an answer.

You remember the events leading up to her decision like it’s as clear as day, and no matter how many times you replay that moment, you don’t know what to think, except that you’re angry, you’re sad—they left you.

“I heard you and Joshua,” Yejin tells you quietly, and you feel your heart stop. “You like Seungcheol?” and the way she uses his full name makes you feel almost ashamed for confirming it with a nod.

“I—” you pause, “—I didn’t know you liked him.”

“I love him,” she corrects you.

“Oh,” is all you manage out.

“You’re pathetic.”

That was the start of it. Yejin sent Chaeyoung over the next day to pick up her stuff from your apartment. You didn’t hear another word from Cheol. The last thing you remember him saying to you was from that night is still a jumble in your head.

You hate crying, and everyone knows it. So when you sprint out of the room minutes after Yejin, eyes red and puffy, Cheol knows something is wrong. Before he can walk up to you, there’s a hand on his shoulder and Yejin has her head pushed up next to his ear.

You don’t know what she tells him, but his gaze falters. The last thing you hear him say is your name quietly as you rush away.

That night, Joshua drives you home while you think about how you’re going to tell your mother that Cheol and Yejin won’t be coming to your house for spring break.

That was six months ago. Of course, six months pales in comparison to the decade you spent as friends. The years from middle school, to high school, to college—you three side by side. Things changed so quickly, too quickly.

Sometimes you think about what she might’ve told him—what she could’ve said that made him turn away at every gathering you were both at after that. That made him erase the years you shared before all this. That made you all strangers.

You figure things like this will never make sense to you. You don’t understand now, and you probably never will—you are content with that.

At least, up until three days ago you were. Some small voice in your head is reminding you of the confusion, the hurt, the heartbreak you felt when it all happened. Now, you’re more desperate than ever to know what exactly happened, it’s just a matter of if you’re willing to go down this rabbit hole of reconnection.

It’s like the universe hears you and laughs. The ringing of the door fills the little cafe and you’re pushing yourself off the counter, nodding and Hyunwoo. “I got it,” you tell him, dropping your cup in the sink and walking over to the register.

Of course it’s Cheol standing in front of you. You can’t tell if he found out your schedule from Joshua (but no, Joshua wouldn’t do that to you) or if it’s just something like fate. Fate.

You sigh, preparing yourself for yet another onslaught of thoughts. “What can I get you?”

There’s something mischievous glinting in his eyes. “Don’t you remember my usual?” Cheol attempts, and you’re surprised by his forwardness. Don’t be shocked, you think. Cheol never backs down, never stops trying.

Do you give in? Just this once? He did help you out that night—you aren’t sure if you’d be able to get home in one piece if it weren’t for him. Then again, it could’ve just been one of Cheol’s kind favors, something that isn’t reserved for only you, but just any drunk girl in general. You don’t want to mistake his qualities of a gentleman with him holding out a figurative olive branch.

Trust me, his words are like a broken record in your mind.

You’re thinking too much. Fuck, if he didn’t hold out the olive branch that night, you’re going to try to now.

“Iced latte with hazelnut syrup,” you say quietly, tapping it into the tablet. You’re scared to look up because you know he's grinning. You shouldn’t want to be the reason behind his smiles, but you do.

“Thanks,” he chirps, holding out his card so you can turn around the tablet for him.

“Your order will come out on your left,” you tell him, not looking up. You expect things to stop now, for things to quietly go back to normal.

“Hey, when do you get off?”

You do a double take to make sure you heard him correctly. “Sorry?” You finally look up at him and god, you start to remember why you loved his smile so much.

“I asked when you get off from your shift? Six?”

“I—uh, yeah,” you reply without thinking. “How’d you know?”

“That’s when Joshua gets off on Fridays. Just a guess,” he shrugs. You purse your lips and don’t respond, not sure where to take things from here; yeah you held out the branch but you didn’t expect him to grab it just this quickly. “Can I stay until then?”

You should say no. You really should say no. But then you’re thrown back to three days ago and the words are sounding an awful lot like trust me, trust me, and then you realize you just can’t deny him.

“Okay,” you say softly. You can tell from the look of relief on Cheol’s face that he wasn’t expecting this, and you aren’t sure what to take from that. As you turn to make his drink, you glance at the clock. Thirty seven minutes before your shift ends, and you can’t figure out if you’re going to try and make the time before them fly or go slow.

Handing Cheol his drink, you don’t say anything, your movements swift as you try and unbox your own feelings. Of course, you aren’t given the liberty to do that, not when Hyunwoo is standing in front of you.

“Is that Seungcheol?”

“Take a wild guess,” you mutter, closing your eyes tightly for a moment. Maybe if you think hard enough you’ll realize it’s just a dream where your actions have no real consequences.

“I thought you two didn’t talk.”

“Did Joshua tell you that?”

“Kind of…maybe…I sorta figured it out on my own,” Hyunwoo admits. “Sorry, that sounds weird.” You sigh softly, feeling bad for how flustered Hyunwoo is.

“It’s okay…let’s just get back to work,” you suggest, turning away to clean up some of the counters with your extra time.

You don’t notice it, but Cheol watches the conversation between you and Hyunwoo unfold, and while he can’t hear what you two are saying, he has a feeling he won’t like it. He has to remind himself to not have high expectations, to not get his hopes up, just like Jeonghan and Joshua warn, but he just can’t help it.

But when you agree to see him after your shift (he knows you didn’t technically agree to that, but he knows you and is sure that you caught onto his underlying message), he just has to stay hopeful. So as he patiently waits for the clock to strike six, he thinks about what to say.

To be honest, this all happened on a whim. Again, he didn’t really know that you were working today, he just happened to get lucky. Cheol himself isn’t sure what exactly he wants to say to you, he just knows it is a lot.

He thinks about you a lot. The good, the bad, all the in between—Seungcheol misses you. And he knows that it isn’t fair, that he shouldn’t do this, that he doesn’t have the right—Joshua has made that clear to him on numerous occasions.

“She’s fine without you.”

“But—”

“You don’t have a say about being in her life.”

“And you do?” Cheol shoots out.

Joshua steps back. “I don’t either, but I know how she’s doing better than you. I know how she felt after everything happened.”

Cheol pauses. That, Joshua did. Cheol didn’t know anything, did he? “This isn’t about you, it’s about me and it’s about her.”

“There is no you and her,” Joshua says bluntly. Cheol doesn’t say anything, but he knows in his mind that he needs to change that.

Cheol lets the idea run through his mind, that he's making a royal mistake right now, and all this is going to amount to nothing. He doesn’t mull over it for longer than ten seconds. He is going to do this, and if he doesn’t, he’d be damned if he didn’t at least try.

You get off your shift while Hyunwoo continues his. “You’re going to talk to him?” he asks with knitted eyebrows, pointing at Cheol.

“Uh, yeah,” you say sheepishly in the back, untying your apron. “Don’t tell Joshua, he’ll kick my ass,” you add, only only half joking. Joshua definitely won’t let you hear the end of this, but that is another problem for another time. Hanging up your apron, you grab your backpack from the shelf and slip to the back door. “See you later!” you chirp, throwing Hyunwoo one last wave before you enter the seating area from the back to make your way to Cheol who’s sitting at an elevated stool by the window.

Your once confident strides are much smaller now, you find yourself holding back each one more and more. Do you really want this? Trust me. You’ll just have to find out. “Hey,” you say quietly, and this time you don’t let your gaze fall, tapping on Cheol’s shoulder. He turns around quickly, straw in his mouth as he drinks the half finished drink with a smile.

“Hey, you’re early,” he states casually, glancing at the time. It’s 5:57.

“I guess,” you reply, voice as still as you can manage.

“You’ve probably been here for a while,” Cheol murmurs to himself, getting up from his seat. “You want to go on a walk? The weather is nice right now.”

You want to roll your eyes and tease him, saying “it’s August, of course the weather is nice,” but you stop yourself—you aren’t sure if you’re ready for that level of comfort yet. “Sure,” you agree instead, adjusting your bag over your shoulder as you follow him out the door and onto the main street.

“How was work? Stopped working at the bakery, huh?” he says, and you just don’t get it. How is he being so casual? How is he acting like this is the first time you two have had a real conversation in months? How is he—you don’t even realize you’ve stopped walking until he calls out your name. God, you really missed how it sounded when he said your name. “What’s wrong?”

You don’t even think before responding. “What do you think is wrong?” Cheol is standing a few feet in front of you and the look on his face is confusing…you can’t read it. You aren’t sure if it’s because he’s confused, or if it’s because you just aren’t used to this, or what. Whatever it is, you don’t like it.

“I’m sorry,” Cheol says softly, stepping forward. You still don’t move. “I—uh shit, sorry—this,” he brings a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, “this is weird, you’re right I just, I don’t know—”

“Is there something you want to say?” Your eyes bore into his, and Cheol knows he can’t keep any secrets from you.

“I’m sorry.”

You nod. “Okay.”

“Okay?” he asks hopefully.

“What do you want me to say?” you ask with a shrug. “Sorry for what?”

“A lot of things. Everything,” Cheol admits, and your eyes widen slightly at his honesty. You pretend to glance down at your watch.

“Well you’re going to have to be more specific,” you tell him truthfully, “and don’t have a lot of time.”

“I’ll come again!” he says quickly, holding his hands up as you’re about to walk towards your car. “When do you work? Tell me. I’ll come after every shift.”

“I work almost everyday.”

“I’ll come everyday,” he says with no hesitation. Your heart tightens. You a month ago would have said fuck no, but then trust me, trust me is echoing in your head again and before you can stop yourself, you’re nodding.

“Mondays and Tuesday I get off at 6, Wednesdays at 9, Thursdays at…”

You used to believe Seungcheol always lived up to his promises. When you were younger, you couldn’t think of a single time when he didn’t go by his word. You trusted him, always, so when he broke the promise of “we’ll stick together”—arguably the only one that actually mattered—you were shattered. You still are, or at least your trust is.

Right now, Cheol promises he’ll come see you after every shift. You don’t think you should trust him, but you do anyway, watching the clock to make sure he’s always here on time. You tell yourself you do it because you don’t like to be kept waiting, but you know deep down that you’re just trying to find an excuse.

You’re trying to justify your distrust, even though you already have a perfectly good reason for being tentative around Cheol. Somehow, whenever you’re with him, you forget about it all.

It’s awkward most of the time. Well, more like you’re awkward and Cheol just pretends you aren’t, acting all normal and like you aren’t stumbling over your words and blanking out mid sentence.

You’re not nervous, you just don’t know what to say, the words getting lost in your head as you wonder whether or not there’s a line and where it is and if you should cross it.

Today is the fifth day Cheol comes to see you after your shift. He comes in at 6:54 which is a bit earlier than usual, and it’s the first time that Joshua is seeing the scene unfold. As Cheol walks in, your friend throws you a careful glance before waving over at his friend and connecting fists as he hops over to take his order.

“Iced latte with—”

“I’m not here for a drink,” Cheol says quickly, putting his hand up before he can watch Joshus key in his usual order.

“Huh…did I miss something?” Joshua asks, checking his watch for any missed messages. You chew your lip and Cheol glances at you, realizing that you haven’t told Joshua that you and him are speaking again.

“Uh, no,” Cheol murmurs. He points at you and when he sees that you don’t protest, he proceeds. “We’re, uh, I’m just waiting for her shift to end and—” he stops talking when Joshua whips his head around to stare at you with a look of bewilderment.

You nod shyly, untying your apron as you make your way to the back room. Joshua follows quickly behind you, closing the door behind him while you hang up the garment. “What does he mean by that?”

“I dunno, Josh,” you say, because honestly you aren’t sure how to explain it either.

“Remember what you said?” he tells you—you know where this is headed, and you really don’t want him to bring it up. “You said you’d never forgive them.”

You did say that. “In a moment of anger,” you argue, grabbing your bag. You know he’s just being protective of you, but right now it’s getting on your nerves.

“And? You’re just going to forgive him because he drove you home when you were drunk?”

“I haven’t forgiven him!” you pause. “At least not yet.”

“You’re seriously going to forgive him after all that you said about moving on?”

“I have moved on, Joshua,” you tell him. It’s true. “There’s nothing wrong with letting him back in my life now, especially if he wants to.”

“And what if he fucks up again?”

You roll your eyes as you walk to the back door. “How’s that supposed to happen? Thought you said he and Yejin broke up?”

“They did, but that isn’t the point.”

“Then what is?” you ask exasperatedly. “I’m old enough to make my own decisions. You’re acting like I don’t know the consequences of my actions. You’re acting as if I wasn’t the one who had to go through all that, so please just let me make this decision.”

Joshua steps back and sighs, and by the way he doesn’t say anything as you open the door, you assume he has accepted defeat.

Cheol meets you on the other side of the door, wearing his usual smile. You can only pray that he didn’t hear your conversation with Joshua. “Hey,” he greets and you nod in response. Well if he heard anything, he pretends he doesn’t. The truth is, Cheol hears every word, he’s just very good at putting a smile on his face.

You two walk out of the store silently and side by side. “How was work?” Cheol asks.

“Good. It’s most fun with Joshua,” you reply, walking on the sidewalk like you two usually do. You follow a trail down the street and through some parks for kids, always making a round trip back to your cafe where your car is parked.

The days have been getting shorter, and it’s evident by the way the sky is painted a deep orange right now. “Didn’t sound like he’s too happy today,” Cheol comments, and you halt your steps for just a moment, realizing he did hear you two.

“Uh, yeah,” you mumble. You two haven’t talked about that since you started speaking again. All the things Cheol said he wanted to apologize for were left suspended in the air, waiting for one of you to pluck it out and face reality. Neither of you were ever really good at that. “I’m sorry you had to hear that.” 

“I’m sorry you had to say that,” Cheol responds almost instantly, standing in the middle of the sidewalk and turning to face you.

Your eyebrows furrow when you respond, “What?”

“I mean, shit, I worded that badly,” he groans, bringing a hand up to rub the back of his neck. “I’m sorry that…you know—you said you’d never forgive me and I’m sorry. And I know you probably shouldn’t forgive me but I’m sorry.”

You certainly weren’t expecting that, but then again, you need to remind yourself to never be surprised when it comes to Cheol. You bite back the words, “it’s okay,” because you aren’t ready to say that, so instead you just nod. “Okay.” Your eyes glaze around your surroundings and they fall on a bench. Pointing at it, you say, “Let’s sit, yeah?”

You two sit side by side on the bench, and you think that this is the closest either of you have been in a long time, your thighs almost brushing against each other’s. The sky darkens above you, and you usually would take this as your cue to go back to your car, but tonight, you stay.

There’s a question that’s prodding at the back of your mind, and you chide yourself for even thinking about it. Don’t ask him, don’t do it, and you almost listen. Almost. You figure that the fact that you’re even here with Cheol right now is a sign that things are changing more than they already have, that you’re changing in ways that you didn’t know you could, and Cheol is changing, and he’s changing for you.

Cheol senses it too, that you’re thinking deeply, and he waits. When you’re finally lifting your head and looking up at the sky, he turns to you as you open your mouth. “How did you guys break up?” You can’t bring yourself to say “you and Yejin.” It’s too painful of a reminder that there was once a Cheol and Yejin, and that it came at the expense of you and Cheol and Yejin.

He takes a deep breath and hesitates, but you don’t retract your question. You feel after everything, you deserve to know, no matter how aching the memory is. “She cheated on me.”

“Oh.”

Cheol’s voice is flat for the first time since you’ve started speaking again. “Yeah,” he mutters. You purse your lips together, unsure of what to do, what to say. There was a time that you felt you knew all the right words, all the right things to do, but now you’re lost. Maybe it’s because Cheol has changed, but then—no, it’s not him, it’s you. You’ve changed. You thought you didn’t care, and that was true.

You didn’t care about what happened to Cheol or Yejin or them because they had left you and there was nothing after that. You didn’t care because caring wouldn’t help you get either of them back, and you didn’t care because caring only made long nights of you crying in your bed even longer.

But did you ever stop caring about Cheol? About Yejin? There’s a fine line, you realize, between caring about your relationship with someone and caring about them, and it hits you that not once did you not care about Cheol.

What would you have done if this had happened six months ago? What would you have said? You were never the best at words, but when it came to Cheol and Yejin, you always found some way to make them feel better. Looking over at Cheol, his head hangs low as he chews on his lip.

You reach over your hand and place it on his shoulder gently. “I’m sorry,” you tell him.

Cheol chuckles hollowly, causing you to frown deeply. “Shouldn’t I be the one saying that?”

“We have time for that later,” you reply honestly, not breaking the contact even when he shifts a little, finally looking up at you.

“Later?” he asks hopefully. You smile and nod. This is a promise, you both know. Joshua is going to kill you for this later.

“He got fired?” you snort. “Didn’t he say he could get away with anything?”

“Yeah,” Cheol chuckles. “And to be fair, he did get away with a lot. Honestly, I’m surprised he didn’t get fired months ago. He would give me and Soonyoung discounts all the time, it was crazy.”

“I remember that…” you say quietly.

“Yeah, anyways, he got fired and now he’s complaining about not having extra cash. Minghao’s telling him to just find another job but Hannie is convinced that he’ll be able to convince his boss to hire him back…”

“Knowing Jeonghan, he might just be able to pull that off.”

“Who knows,” Cheol murmurs with a shrug. “It’s late. Do you want to go?”

“Want me gone already?” you tease. Things are more comfortable now. It isn’t the same as before—how could it—but it’s getting there. You aren’t sure you’ll ever be “back to the old days,” but you sure are trying to get as close as you can.

“You know that isn’t true,” he shoots back. You trust him, and if that’s a mistake, you hardly care. Maybe this is where you start to crumble. “I’m just trying to make sure that it’s not too late when you get home.”

He’s being caring, although it isn’t unexpected. Cheol was always caring. “You’re right,” you murmur, not wanting to admit that you might have wanted to sit here and talk to him a bit longer. You stand up, grabbing your back and he follows after you as you walk up the street in the direction of the shop. You return back to the conversation of Jeonghan and his antics both in and out of the workplace, and before you know it, you’re back at the parking lot.

You’ve grown to look forward to these meetings—how could you not—and it does kill a little bit of self control inside of you every time you realize that fact.

“You gonna go now?” he asks softly, and as you stop walking, you let the tension grow thick. This part is always awkward. You don’t know if it’s fitting to say “bye” or “goodbye” or “see you later” or hug him or wave or—you usually settle for a smile but there’s a growing ache in your heart which tells you that maybe you want more.

Cheol seems to think the same, and it all happens so quickly, too quickly, and suddenly you’re going dizzy and your world is spinning.

Choi Seungcheol’s lips are soft.

And they don’t press against yours for more than a second before you place your hands on his chest and push him back. You almost indulge. Almost.

“Why would you do that?” you whisper, not meeting his gaze. Cheol runs a hand through his hair, steeping back with wide eyes.

“Fuck,” he mutters. “Fuck, I am so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking—shit, shit, shit—I’m sorry, I’m so sor—”

You ball your fists and your face contorts into some ugly sort of grimace. “Stop saying that!” you cry out, and Cheol stills. “Stop fucking saying you’re sorry! I-I-I hate it!”

“What?” and the hurt is more than evident in his voice.

“I know you’re sorry, okay? I get it,” you tell him exasperatedly. “And you keep saying it—you’re sorry for everything, you’re sorry for all of it. It’s all you say, but maybe if you just stopped and thought for a second you’d realize that no matter how much you keep saying it, I have not once said it’s okay.”

He gapes at you for a moment but recovers quickly, running a hand through his hair. “I—” he pauses, “I don’t know how else to tell you. It’s been a few weeks and—”

“You didn’t speak to me for six months,” you spit out, and you wonder if this is what it’s all going to come down to. The past month of you figuring out your emotions, working out what you want, what’s good for you, what’s not—you’re afraid that right now it will all amount to nothing.

Maybe you two were in your heads too long. Maybe this was your harsh pull back down to the ground.

“Six months, Seungcheol,” you repeat, and he winces when you use his full name.

“I know, I’m s—”

“You’re sorry, I know,” you say quieter this time, slumping against the wall. His lips were so warm, so soft, you still feel their ghost on your lips. You calm down for a second at the thought, but then your anger bubbles up when you remind yourself that Yejin got to taste him too. Got to have him, love him, cherish him for those six months. Jealousy doesn’t suit you, but that isn’t what this is about anyways. Right now, all it does is fuel your heat.

“I just—I don’t know how to really say it,” Cheol admits.

“Well you should figure that out,” you tell him harshly. “I can’t stand here forever, waiting for you to find the right words.”

“You’re right, I know.”

“Do you?” you ask, exhausted. It’s all catching up to you know—you’re tired, so tired.

“I do.”

Do you trust Cheol?

“I don’t believe you,” your voice quivers when you say it, and Cheol feels his heart break at the sound. “I can’t.”

“I know—that’s my fault, I know.”

“What are you going to do about it?”

“I’m trying.” You know he is, there isn’t a doubt in your mind. Inhaling deeply, you choose your words carefully.

“We need to talk about everything,” you tell him slowly.

“Okay,” Cheol agrees quickly. “Okay, where do you want to start?”

“Where do you think we should start? I think that’s where we should start.”

Cheol sucks in a breath and pinches his eyebrows together. You can tell that he, just like you, is making sure he doesn’t say anything he’ll regret. “Well, the beginning, I guess,” he sighs, and you open your mouth in protest but he holds his hand out to stop you. “Okay just listen.” “Fine.”

“I found out Yejin liked me in January,” he tells you.

“That was a month before…” your voice trails off and he nods.

“Before we got together and…” And we stopped talking to you. He doesn’t say, doesn’t need to. “Yeah. Chaeyoung told me. Yejin didn’t know I knew until…”

“Until you started liking her,” you mutter under your breath. You furrow your eyebrows and look up at him. “You know I know this, right? Joshua told me when you told him.���

Cheol seems surprised by that. “What, really?” you aren’t sure why he never expected that—you and Joshua are pretty much like siblings, after all.

“Yeah. I think I knew before Yejin,” you admit. Your voice is small, and the way the entire event of six months ago is playing out in your head is a not so nice reminder of why you’re in this situation in the first place.

“Oh.” Silence. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

You frown. “What was I supposed to say? ‘No Cheol! Don’t like Yejin! Like me!’” you say in a mocking tone. “Why would I do that to her? Why would I do that to you?” you were calm a moment ago, but you feel yourself growing upset again.

“I thought you—” Cheol thinks for a moment, wondering if he should say it, “—I thought you liked me.”

“I did,” you seethe out. “But did you think I was going to beg you to change your mind? To change your feelings?” Cheol is quiet now, and you take it as your cue to continue. “I…I cared about you and Yejin so much—” that’s a lie (you still do)—“and you should know that if you guys were happy I would be okay with that.”

“What about your feelings? Why didn’t you do anything about that?” Cheol shoots back, and it’s starting to sound an awful lot like your last conversation with Yejin.

“You claim you love him but you’re just willing to give him up like that? That’s pathetic. You are pathetic.”

You feel tears stream down your cheeks at the memory and you need to remind yourself that it isn’t worth crying over—but then again, it is. “I would’ve dealt with my feelings just as I have been for the past six months—by myself and totally fine.”

Cheol doesn’t have a response to that, because if there’s one thing he won’t even attempt to refute, it’s this. Because after everything, you have been okay. You have been healing. It killed him every time Joshua would tell him you’re doing fine, because he wasn’t doing fine and he was having a really, really hard time accepting that.

He knows it’s unfair, Cheol knows he’s being anything but fair, but he just doesn’t know how to help it.

It’s the worst that you’re crying now—crying ‘cause of him. Because Cheol knows that you were okay and it was him that decided to butt back in your life to try and make amends, and you being you, decided to let him back in and fuck—he knows he’s being selfish by doing all this and he know he doesn’t deserve this yet you are still here, trying to hear him out.

“I fucked up, I don’t deserve a second chance.”

You choke back a sob, “Damn right you don’t,” and Cheol knows that you’re right.

“I’m still going to try.”

You brush some tears away from your face. “I know.”

You go home that night without another word, and Cheol only stops you to make sure you’ve stopped crying before you start the car and drive off. It’s the next day, and you can’t help but glance back and forth between the door and clock as your shift nears its end.

“You waiting for him?” Hyunwoo asks you from the side, and you feel a little bit bad at the way his voice sounds a bit sad.

“Uh—” Are you waiting for Cheol? “—I guess, yeah.” There’s no reason for you to deny it. You’ve replayed last night’s conversation more times than you can count, and you still aren’t sure how to feel. You need to see him.

As the time nears six, an uneasy feeling pools at your stomach, and you wonder what you’ll do if he doesn’t show up. End it for good? Add it to the list of reasons why you should never talk to him again? Block h—

The bell above the door ringing saves you from that rabbit hole. It’s 5:59 and Cheol waits in front of the door and for once, he isn’t donning a smile. Looking at Hyunwoo, you throw out a small wave before slipping to the back room. Hyunwoo doesn’t follow you, he stopped doing that after the first two times Seungcheol started coming, although you aren’t sure why. It’s a passing thought though, definitely not at the forefront of your mind as you hang your apron routinely and exit through the back door.

Cheol waits for you by the door and you don’t say anything as you both leave through the front. The atmosphere is thick and you aren’t sure who is going to say what and when. It’s only when you’ve walked around two minutes down your regular path that Cheol stops in front of that bench. Flickering his eyes towards yours for a moment of confirmation, he sits down and motions you to follow. You sit side by side and once again, you two are almost touching, but aren’t quite there just yet.

“So,” you finally say. “Where were we?”

“That night,” Cheol replies quietly, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. You glance over at him and can’t help but realize how…small he looks. You want to reach out and hold him for a moment, but you shouldn’t.

“What about that night?” you murmur. There’s too much about that night for you to even fathom what he’s thinking about.

“What did Yejin say to you? In the room?” he asks.

“Does that matter?” You seriously don't want to recount it, but then Cheol is nodding and you just have to give in. “She was mad…same reason as you,” you mumble.

“What do you mean?”

“Didn’t like how I was accepting of it all,” you sigh, leaning back. “I think she just got sick of me,” you finally confess. “Didn’t like me anymore, and then she thought I was pathetic or something and used that as an excuse to just—I dunno, drop me.” You pause, turning to look at him again. “What did she tell you?”

You know you probably shouldn’t ask. It’ll be painful, you know, but you’re confident you can handle it.

“She said it couldn’t work…the three of us. That it was either me ‘n’ her or nothing, because nothing could go back to normal after this.”

You look down. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“You believed her?”

“Well, at the time,” Cheol murmurs, “Yeah I did.”

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry.” Trust me, trust me. “I liked that she liked me. I liked her and I thought I was going to lose you either way and—”

“I said okay.”

“Is it okay?”

“I don’t know,” you tell him honestly. “I beat myself up a lot for all that, you know? Wondered what she could’ve said that made you not wanna fight to be my friend.” You scoff to yourself. “I guess we both suck at that.”

“Huh?”

“You know: fighting for what we want,” you clarify.

“That can change,” Cheol says, clearing his throat. “I’m fighting right now.”

That conversation is the first of many. One month later and Cheol is still fighting. It’s your birthday, and you aren’t surprised that he remembers, but you are surprised when he gets you a gift. A new apron. “Your old one is getting…well, old.”

You’re both sitting at the bench once again, and for the first time, your thighs brush against each other’s fully. It’s warm, it’s welcoming, it’s soft. Maybe you and Cheol haven’t finished crossing the bridge yet, but you’ve definitely finished building it. There’s time for the rest later. You want to focus on you and him now.

“I wonder why,” you say sarcastically, taking it out of the bag. “It’s cute—hey, is this my name?” you ask excitedly, holding up the little spot on the top with some letter embroidered in.

“Uh, yeah, it’s custom and all…I got Minghao to help me with the design.” You smile genuinely, turning to him.

“Thank you, I love it.”

“Thank god. Jeonghan said it was a stupid gift but I thought it was thoughtful…”

“Jeonghan once got you a rubber duck for your birthday, so I would take everything he says about gift-giving with a big fat grain of salt.”

“Hey, I still have that duck,” he tells you, and you both laugh together. “It’s in the bathroom, I only take it down for special occasions.”

“Special occasions being…?”

Cheol taps his chin. “Hmm…birthdays, the last day of school, Christmas…I’d like to think my luck is pretty great whenever I use it.”

“Is that so…” you hum. “When was the last time you used it?”

“Like two days ago.”

“Nothing special happened two days ago.” That’s a lie, and he sees right through it.

Cheol smiles smugly. “I know. It was just right before I came to see you.” Your cheeks burn as you turn away.

Two days ago being the last time you and him talked about all of it. From beginning to end, just like you had so many times before except for the first time, you were finally able to utter the words, “it’s okay, we’re okay.”

“Right…maybe luck really was on your side then,” you tease.

“Whatever,” Cheol says with a pout, watching you glance at your phone. “Do you need to go? I thought you didn’t have anything planned?”

“I don’t,” you say with a huff. “I just saw that my birthday gift from my parents got delivered. It’s fine, I’ll pick it up when I get home later.” You ponder whether this is the right moment to bring it up. “You can… come along if you want.”

It’s almost as if his ears perk up. “To your place?”

“Um, yeah,” you try to come off as casual. “Only if you want,” you add quickly, and he picks up on the double meaning right away.

Which is how you end up here.

“Haven’t been here in so long,” Cheol murmurs, looking over your apartment. It’s the exact same, save for some pictures with Yejin and him that have since been taken down. He would have been upset about it a month ago, but now he is content. It only makes it a goal for him to take more pictures with you now so you’ll have some to put up.

“Mhm,” you nod, putting your bag down on your kitchen counter.

“Hey…” he says softly as you flick on one light. It’s dim, but there’s just enough light for you to see the worried look on his face.

“Everything alright?”

He chews on his lips and he looks pretty. “I need to know where your head is at right now,” he admits. There’s a lot of different meanings to what he’s just asked, but with the way he’s looking at you, you have a pretty good idea of what he’s trying to say. “I don’t want to misread anything like the last time I—the last time.” The last time he kissed you.

You look down at the counter. You brought him here for a reason, but are you ready?

Trust me, trust me.

Of course you are. With Cheol, you’ll always be ready.

So when he’s pushing you up against the wall, hands grappling at your waist, feeling his warm, wet lips against you, you don’t waste a single second thinking about anyone else. You don’t think about what Joshua will say, you don’t think about how Jeongyeon will react, you don’t think about the look on Yejin’s face if she were to ever find out about this because right now, it’s Cheol that’s in front of you, and it’s Cheol that will always be in front of you.

One leg around his torso, your mouth smashes against his in a tangled mess of tongue and lip and it’s desperate and has you aching for more. And then he’s leading you to your bedroom and you are reminded of the fact that Cheol knows this place so well that he doesn’t even need to ask for directions.

Throwing you onto the bed your mind goes blank—it’s as if all the happiness in the world rushes to you at once, leaving you all light-headed and disoriented when Cheol clambers on top of you, his thigh wedged between your legs.

With his fingers pressed deeply into your hips as he runs his tongue along your jawline,rocking  your clothed cunt against Cheol’s bare thigh, his gym shorts hiked up so that you can press your core as close to him as possible. Your breath is slightly labored as his lips press open mouthed kisses all the way down, and you feel yourself become increasingly needy at the way you can see the imprint of his cock against his shorts.

“Shit—you’re so—wait,” he murmurs, pulling his lips away from your burning skin to bore his eyes down at you. “Is this okay?” he asks softly, pulling his knee back so there’s some space between you and him. Cheol doesn’t expect for your eyes to widen, hand shooting out and grabbing his thigh to make sure it doesn’t move another inch.

“Yes,” you gasp out, pulling his leg so hard that he stumbles forward a bit when you do, the hard muscle pressing back against your core. Cheol lets the initial shock of you being needy for him settle in, and suddenly he’s grinning and having one hand back at your waist, the other at your neck so he can tilt your head up and have better access to skin over your collarbone.

His fingers are rough and calloused as they slip beneath your shirt, pushing it up just far enough that your bra is exposed. Hovering above you, you watch through hazy vision as Cheol’s eyes dilate at the sight, swooping his head down to free one of your tits from the cup and catching a nipple in his mouth.

Your body jerks against his as he swipes a tongue over the hardened peak, and suddenly you feel that there’s too much fabric between you and his thigh. “Ch-cheol,” you mutter, tapping at his head that is currently burning beneath your shirt while he sneaks kisses all up and down your stomach, between your tits, and over your cleavage.

“What is it, baby?” he coos, pulling his head out and looking up at you, the pet name shooting shivers up our spine.

“Pants—ah—” you whine when he presses his thigh harder into you. “Pants!” you cry, trying your best to unbutton them with shaky fingers. Cheol picks up right away, helping you unzip them before hooking two fingers on the waistband and yanking the fabric down and over your feet, freeing yourself and your pussy of its unbearable restraints.

“Fuck, this is—you’re so hot,” he murmurs, looking down at your bare legs and tracing his fingers from your ankles to your knees, and then finally through your inner thighs where he bends down and starts to place rough kisses.

Usually, if he was in his right mind, Cheol would have wanted to take his sweet time with you, unraveling, unwinding all of you. But he’s figured that both of you have waited long enough and that you both deserve to be needy, to be desperate, to let this moment pass as quickly as it started because there will be plenty of time for a round two and three later on.

All you need right now is to feel each other, which is how he ends up pushing your panties to the side and digging his tongue into your dripping folds without warning. “Cheol!” you moan loudly, your hand gripping his hair tightly while he simultaneously wraps one arm over your hips, pulling you closer.

Seungcheol is going crazy, he thinks, because the taste of your pussy is better than any alcohol he’s ever drunk. You’re sweet and your cunt is literally fluttering its pretty fuck folds all for him as he slides one finger through them to collect your growing wetness. He feels himself growing high on the feeling and taste alone, his own hips pressing into the mattress in hopes of relieving some of the tension in his own pants.

There’s a slobbering mess that runs down his lips and chin as he fervently makes out with your pussy, and you briefly wonder how a man can be so good at making you feel this good before the thought is swept from your mind by one of Cheol’s thick fingers prodding at your entrance.

Holy hell, you’re so tight for him—gummy walls clamping down on his single digit the second he started to move it in and out’ta you, his mind racing as he thinks about how you might feel around his cock. And Cheol isn’t the only one thinking about it either, because when he’s slipping in another finger, you’re already crying out for more.

“I gotta work you up to it baby,” he tells you sympathetically, using one free hand to shove down his pants leaving him in only a shirt and boxers.

“Don’t wanna wait…” you protest with a pout, eyes shamelessly looking down at his figure hunched over you so you can catch sight of the imprint of his cock against his boxers.

Cheol chuckles, even though he’s on the brink of giving in himself. “Take your shirt off for me, yeah? It’ll save us some time.” That’s all you need to hear before you’re sitting up and yanking the stupidly tight shirt over your head and throwing it to the side as Cheol’s fingers continue their onslaught deep inside your cunt.

It’s less of an in and out motion now, and more of a curling motion that’s exploring you, finding out what makes you hum, what makes you moan, and what makes you go—“Oh fuck, Cheol!” He grins at the sound, leaning down to press a kiss on your clit as he pulls his slick fingers away.

“You wanted more?” he murmurs, slipping his own shirt over his head to reveal the familiar set of abs and toned chest. You let out a dazed smile at the sight, letting your body fall back onto the mattress.

“‘course I do,” you reply without hesitation, watching eagerly as his hand holds the waistband of his boxers and pushes the cloth down, revealing his cock all thick and hard as it springs out and hits his abdomen.

It’s long and it’s thick, and it’s nothing less than what you expected from Cheol, in fact, it’s a lot more than that. But you don’t even have time to think about how pretty his cock looks, pink tip all flushed as a thick vein runs down the side of its length, because it’s pushing against your entrance as he watches your face carefully.

When your eyebrows knit into a convulsion of pleasure and you squeak out his full name, he knows he can't hold back, slamming into your drooling cunt in one go.

And his cock is so big it’s pushing you open, but the pain is so good, so enthralling, that you don’t even mind being split in half if it’s like this—if it’s because every time he pulls his hips back, you know he’ll slam it deeper and deeper every single time, hitting spots deep inside of your cunt that you didn’t even know existed.

All while your limbs are flailing around him, thrashing as you bite into his shoulder, muffling your cries of, “Cheol, Cheol, Cheol!”

Your name falls from his lips too, mixed in with the mindless words of, beautiful, pretty, princess as he compliments you for takin’ him so well and squeezin’ him so good he doesn't know how he hasn’t bust already.

“God, fuck,” he moans when you look up at him through heavy lashes, tethering his boto m lip between his teeth to try and slow his impending orgasm. “Fuck,” he chokes out, “shit—I love you—”

And there is your breaking point. Like the world has come to a stop and there is only you and Cheol and this moment and—god, you really are too far gone now—and him and you is all that matters.

You cum like you never have before, his cock battering your cunt ‘til you’re shaking and crying and yelling out his name as you feel nothing but him, think nothing but him, know nothing but him.

This is the moment you’ve both been waiting for, and as soon as Cheol has noticed your slower breaths he’s pulling out and letting you wrap one hand around his fat cock to help jerk himself off. He’s so close—so fucking close—and then you’re whispering those fated words—those three words—he feels everything in him just snap, hot cum shooting all over your swollen, abused cunt, and Cheol feels his heart swell.

Love.

There’s a lot more you need to work on, you both know that, but it’s okay.

Trust me, trust me.

I love you.

a/n. literally wrote the last part half asleep and i hate the ending but... okay wow … i had a tough time writing this because i really wanted it to be taken slow and i’m not really sure how well it went … also this story might have been a bit a lot of a reflection of a friendship that went wrong in my own life LOL so this might be me playing out how i wish things ended up :/so anyways please sharing ur thoughts and like and reblog!

[writingseaslugs]

Idia Shroud x Reader: Thighs (NSFW)

Hi, this is super self-indulgent smut. It's been on my mind for like a week straight now and I got the motivation to write it finally after reading a fic by @treysimp which you should totally check out btw it's the couch series with Idia and the NSFW continuation is everything I need to breathe.

This features a reader with no pronouns and anatomy isn't ever discussed for them!

Part 02

Word Count: 2,759

Idia Shroud x Reader: Thighs

Warning: This is NSFW so if you’re under the legal age or uncomfortable with content like this, please skip over this one!

It had taken, in all honesty, months to get Idia more comfortable around you. He had issues with confidence, but also issued when it came to any social situation. Physical intimacy in itself was a foreign concept to him, you were pretty damn sure. It all started off slow, grazing your shoulder against his when you guys were gaming together, putting your hand on his shoulder, and eventually sitting shoulder to shoulder with him.

Just those small things made him burn up and flinch at first, but now he was calm. Things like hugging took longer, always starting out with your hand barely touching his linking arms, then finally a side hug. Kissing? Boy that in itself was a beast.

Finally though, after months, Idia was finally getting used to the fact that you wanted to touch him, kiss him, and over all just be with him. He never thought he’d ever actually get a significant other in his lifetime, but here you were.

Now you sat on his lap, watching him game while also scrolling through your phone and liking random memes. You’d occasionally get his attention when the game wasn’t at some serious point to show him some. You laughed at a particular funny meme, clicking the like button and feeling Idia shifting under you to get a better look.

“That’s so cringe.” Idia commented with a grimace and you raised an eyebrow while looking at him.

“So, you’re cringe and I still like you.” You pointed out, making him pout. He opened his mouth to say something before noticing you were giggling, “I’m sorry that was kinda mean.” You cooed, trying to cool off your boyfriend.

“Ya it was, and if I’m cringe what does that make you?” He said, adjusting you in his lap while he unpaused his game.

“A cringe lord, obviously. Master of the Cringe…ruler of the cringe-topia, the cringiest of cringe.” You began listing off before he groaned, moving his head into the crook of your neck as he clearly was being dramatic.

“You can s-stop now, you know.” He muttered and you chuckled again before you went back to scrolling through your phone.

In between the memes, you’d occasionally run into some random couple photo that you knew would make Idia groan and call them ‘Normies’ if he bothered to look. You couldn’t help but like them though, imagining you and Idia in those situations. You wished he’d let you snap a photo of the two of you during one of his gaming sessions. To you, it looked like the perfect gamer couple scenario, and the blue lighting of the room was picturesque.

Just as you were thinking this, you came across a mini video. It had a guy playing video games and his girlfriend trying to get his attention, before finally sitting on his lap with their chest to them and kissing the breath right of his lungs. The thought made you flush. It’s not like Idia wasn’t paying attention to you, you guys had made an agreement today to spend the day together just doing your own thing. Him just letting you sit on his lap was already more than enough.

Still, the thought of kissing him breathlessly was enticing. You two had never gone further than heavy makeout sessions, and while that was fine you were craving something more. Kissing him while you sat on his lap might be a good leeway into those things. Still, you always respected Idia’s boundaries and always asked before doing anything that might make him uncomfortable.

“Idia?” You asked, getting his attention. The video game he was playing was some open world RPG and his character was in town buying supplies, so it was the perfect time for him to save and put the controller down. Still, he continued gaming, simply humming in response to let you know he heard you, “Wanna make out?”

Idia froze and you could see the tips of his blue hair turning pink, and you knew if you looked behind you his face would have the same pink dusting across his cheeks. “I-w you want to what?” Idia said, almost shrieking right in your ear. 

“I mean…we’ve done it before. And I really wanna do it right now. That cool with you, or nah?” You asked, fully willing to drop the subject at the slightest hint of resistance. 

“I-I mean I wouldn’t mind but…” He trailed off and you finally turned to look at him. You waited patiently for him to say anything else and he took in a shark breath. “Y-you’re on my lap though…” You seemed to catch his drift pretty fast.

It was no secret that every time you guys had a particularly steamy makeout session, he’d excuse himself right after and angle his body just right so you couldn’t see what he was working with. Disappearing to the bathroom and coming back like nothing happened, but definitely not being able to make eye contact with you afterwards.

“So what? If you get excited I’m down to help if you want. Or I can get up and let you take care of things yourself. I don’t mind.” You were pretty sure your words made Idia short circuit for a moment as he dropped his controller and it fell to the ground.

“I you…wait does that mean?” Idia said, covering his face with his hands, too mortified to think straight. He thought he wasn't suspicious at all, but apparently it had been clear as day that whenever you made out it made him harder than a rock and he had to leave before you noticed.

“Idia, seriously it’s fine. It’s a compliment, really. Besides, you should see the state you leave me in.” You joked and he looked at you from the cracks of his finger.

“I uh…put you in a state?” He managed to murmur out and you did your best not to chuckle at how innocent his voice seemed right now.

“Hot and bothered, every time without fail.” You put it bluntly and he squealed, covering his eyes again but you could see the corners of his mouth trying to go into a smile. “So, can I kiss you or nah? All up to you, pretty boy.” You said, trying to calm him down.

“I…okay…” He finally murmured, moving his hands away from his face. You couldn’t help but smile as his hands wrapped around your waist and tugged you closer to his chest. You angled yourself just enough to capture his lips, your mouth clashing with his chapped lips.

You hummed happily at the taste of energy drinks and some chocolate snack you guys had shared earlier that day. The warm, fuzzy feeling that always overwhelmed your senses made you hum happily against his lips. He returned the kiss tentatively, his breath hitching as he tasted you. He groaned into the kiss, feeling how your teeth nibbled slightly on his bottom lip.

Idia nervously opened his mouth enough for your tongue to explore; you loved every minute as one of your hands came up and ran through his hair, clutching it a bit closer so he wouldn’t just pull away. It was all a bit messy as Idia slowly grew more confident in your lips moving against him and you whimpered into his mouth as he began taking control of the kiss.

You could feel him underneath you, slowly getting harder and you couldn’t help but be cheeky and grind your ass against his crotch. This earned a gasp from him, his clammy hands clutching your waist tighter as he separated from the kiss, a small string of saliva still connecting you two.

His length was poking you through his sweatpants and you knew it had to be uncomfortable. Idia’s breath was labored as he looked at you with hazy eyes. “You uh…you said you wouldn’t mind helping me…?” Idia finally said, his voice dipping down a bit lower than normal, sending a shiver down your spine.

“Ya…however you’d like. My hands, mouth, or body. Your choice, Idia.” You said, leaning in to kiss his jaw, since it was all you could reach at this angle. Your back was still firmly pressed against his chest, and as much as you wanted to shift to face him, you knew he was more comfortable like this.

“I…you can see…I don’t know if I can…” He kept murmuring, not knowing how to articulate his words properly. You smiled as your hand played with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“You don’t feel comfortable with me seeing your body, is that it?” You asked and he nodded, looking anywhere but your eyes, “Do you feel comfortable seeing mine?” You asked, getting an idea.

“I…wouldn't mind but if I see all of you, it might be too much to handle…” He bit down on his lower lip, a bad habit of his whenever he got nervous.

“Do you have any lube at your desk?” You asked, knowing damn well he’s watched hentai at his desk before. He froze up before putting his head into the crook of your neck and murmuring out a yes. He squeezed your waist again, making you smile at how adorable he was being. “Where is it Idia?” You asked and he took one shaky hand and pointed at the drawer.

You leaned forward, making Idia gasp as you shifted against him, and opened the drawer. It wasn't hard to find the half full bottle of lube sitting in there, and you grabbed it happily. You put it in front of you before moving to your pants and unbuttoning them. Idia seemed to scramble, not knowing what you were doing.

You chuckled at him as he began stuttering out a sentence, but stopped as he saw your thighs coming into view as you pushed off just your pants. Your underwear still remained and it was slightly obscured by your school shirt. You went and pulled off your tie, then unbuttoned the first three buttons of your shirt so if he wanted to he could peek inside your shirt.

“How about this, Idia.” You began, pulling his attention away from your plush looking thighs and back to your face. “I’ll wrap my tie around my eyes so I can’t see anything, and you can fuck my thighs with some of the lube. I won’t be able to see anything then, and you’ll be in control of everything that’s happening. This way I can still help you.” 

“I…” Idia’s face was scarlet at this point as he processed what you said. You were going to let a filthy shut-in like himself fuck your thighs at his desk chair? This wasn’t really happening; it was too good to be true. “Are you sure?” He finally managed and you nodded.

“Super sure, now do you wanna or?” You asked and he nodded his head frantically, “Cool…want me to spread the lube on my thighs or will you do that when you’re ready?”

Idia didn’t know how to respond as he bit his lip again and averted your eyes. You chuckled as you grabbed the lube and poured some on a hand. You spread your legs a bit, spreading the lube where you thought he’d probably be using you, before wiping the excess off on Idia’s sweats. He went to protest, but realized he’d probably be making a mess of your underwear anyway.

You then went and wrapped your tie around your eyes and made sure it was snug and couldn’t see anything. Idia watched and decided to show two fingers in front of you to see if you’d say anything. You didn’t, just sat patiently for him to make a move. Once Idia was sure you couldn’t see, he felt a little more confident.

He shifted you on his lap as he worked on pulling down his sweats and underwear. You helped by hovering while he pushed them down to his ankles and slowly guided you back onto his lap. You could feel his hot length rubbing between your thighs, making you gasp in surprise.

“I s-sorry was I not supposed to…?” Idia felt a moment of panic before you quickly quelled it.

“N-no you’re fine. You just feel bigger than I thought, is all.” You admitted and he could see your face growing a bit hot. It filled him with a sense of pride, realizing that he was going beyond your expectations. Still, the thought of you seeing him was too much to bear right now. He’d just use your thighs, just like you said he could.

He moved your thighs to close around his cock and it was his time to gasp, feeling how warm and slick they were. The soft skin wrapping around his length almost made him cum right then and there. He hissed as he slowly lifted your thighs and slammed them back down onto his lap. He couldn’t help the broken moan that escaped him at the sensation.

Your thighs were just right and you yourself were biting down moans as he slowly began moving your thighs up and down his cock. Occasionally he would thrust his hips up to meet your thighs and you couldn’t help the whimper. The thoughts of his cock now being between just your thighs but inside of you was driving you wild and you knew your underwear probably was getting a wet patch on them from your arousal.

Idia’s nails dug into the skin of your thighs, possibly leaving marks and maybe even breaking skin, but you couldn’t really tell. All you knew was your heart rate speeding up and the sensation of Idia’s labored breath fanning across your neck in between his moans.

“F-feel so good, Idia.” You encouraged him, noticing how his cock twitched in between your thighs and you swore you felt a glob of precum splatter on your thigh, “So good for me.” You murmur lovingly. He groaned as he moved one hand to your face and forced you to turn your head.

His lips crashed into your own in a heated and sloppy makeout session, leaving you dizzy with sensations. His hand left your face and went back to your thigh, but you kept your mouth there, accepting every hungry kiss of his. You were on cloud nine and just from that alone you felt like you could cum yourself.

All too soon for your liking, Idia’s breath and hips stuttered and you felt him groan into your mouth as his cum painted your thighs white. You shivered at the feeling of how hot it was and he parted from your lips, panting against them as he came down.

“I…thank you.” Idia finally said, not knowing what else to do. You chuckled as you pointed at your lips, wanting another kiss but not wanting to miss him. He leaned in, giving a chaste kiss as he lifted you off him and tugged his pants back on. “You can uh, take off the blindfold now.” He said, giving you the green light.

You untied the back and then turned to Idia, looking at his flush his cheeks were and his half lidded eyes. He had a nervous grin on his face as he took you in. You stood up fully and looked down at your thighs, admiring the white streaks on them. Idia covered his mouth, looking away.

“S-sorry, I’ll clean you up. I uh don’t think I got it on your shirt or underwear…” He paused as he looked over at you. You couldn’t help but be cheeky, running a finger over some of the cum and then popping in into your mouth. You let out a theatrical moan at the taste of him. It wasn’t exactly the best, but like hell you’d ever ruin that slight confidence of his.

Idia was cherry red as he watched you suck your finger, basically just eating his cum, “I hope next time I can get it right from the source, huh Idia?” You said suggestively and he covered his mouth with his hand.

“Y-you’re gonna kill me one of these days.” Idia finally murmured and you just laughed and shook your head.

“Well come on, you were planning on being a gentleman and cleaning me off right?” You asked, holding out your clean hand for him to take. Idia got up slowly and began dragging you to his bathroom to clean up any evidence of what you two did, and hopefully get over his embarrassment.

Should I make a continuation? Because I totally have an idea and would write an AFAB and AMAB version. Decisions, decisions...

[worrywrite]

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around Men at Arms.

It's a fantastic book, but it is also so different from Guards! Guards! in tone. And maybe that's where the key is. It's not that the villain of the story is perhaps one of the most proficient killers in all of Discworld (all two and a half of them... D'Eath, Cruces, and The Gonne) and their goal is to actually kill. It's not even that the crimes that the watch are investigating are murder, because even though paid assassinations are legal death and murder are part of the setting. Death is literally a character here, though much more briefly than G!G!. Frankly, I don't even think it's because of the racial allegories.

The tone in Men at Arms is different because the first one to die is a clown. Because Pratchett literally killed the joke (the entire thing and all of its subsets). There's nothing funny about a clown funeral, the dogs are the biggest allegory for racial issues, a gun really is evil, Cuddy literally draws the short straw. It's all literal. Everything is extremely literal. For once, Ankh Morpork isn't a joke. For once, the city feels like a city. And it's the book where Carrot, the most literal character there is, becomes a man (literally and in every sense) and takes his mantle of leadership.

Everything in Men at Arms is literal. Because the villain killed the joke to death and it was the shining moment for Carrot to step up.

There's also an extensive running bit that even the silly construction of the silly, courtesy of Bloody Stupid Johnson, is actually stupid. Within the narrative itself, the book is calling itself out. It is saying that this absurd veneer that we have found ourselves on is just that. This city was built on itself, on its own bones, on the the bones of empires--fueled with the blood of many. The architecture beneath Johnson's flawed works, the aqueducts and sewer systems below the city, are vast and strong and powerful--maybe even beautiful. But they're dangerous. The past is incredibly dangerous. Even Carrot, whose potential is very much rooted in the past of the city, is dangerous. His victory is not one I expected in the moment it came. The line about how you must hope that whoever is looking at you from the other end of their weapon is an evil man... Was harsh and true and honestly a little frightening for a story which also contains a scene where a sentient rock man chucks a dwarf through the skylight of Schrodinger's pork warehouse to save both of their lives.

Perhaps this puts the rest of the book in context as well. Especially the things that made me cringe when I read them. Like everything about Coalface, Angua being included in the story because she was a woman and every book needs at least one (preferably one that can leap over a building or deadlift a draft horse), the high school clique-ificarion of all the guilds, Vimes talkin to the nobles after dinner and almost letting himself believe he could be like that (even though he ends up laying into them with some excellent biting sarcasm), Vetinari not being in control and not realizing it. It's all very real, but real like a real serial killer in real life and not a crime drama. Maybe even real like a normal guy in a costume with their mask off.

Maybe not.

It's not a perfect book (which bites, because G!G! was nearly there), but it remains a very intentional book. I feel like less people have read it than G!G!, and I can see why. It's messier, it's not as funny, there's a lot more allegory and it's a lot more blunt.

But it's still extremely topical (sadly). I retain my opinion that it may be one of the most important books I've ever read. And I'm beginning to understand, finally, why.

[phillippadgettwrites]

The First Time, Every Time: Fire

Rated X / 3377 Words / Posted on AO3 / Tagging @today-in-fic

Scully’s suggestion that he take her to lunch wasn’t a serious one, but he takes her anyway. He’s too distracted in the wake of Phoebe’s surprise visit to get any work done at this point, and he figures he owes her one after she single handedly solved the case while he was busy being mindfucked by Scotland Yard’s finest. He takes her somewhere just a little bit dingy with a full bar, the kind of place they aren’t likely to run into any of their cohorts from the Bureau. While they’ve never directly discussed it, he’s sure she’s aware there’s some gossip circulating about them, and though it’s entirely baseless, it’s best not to feed the beast in his experience.

He’s a little embarrassed that Scully bore witness to the power Phoebe clearly still has over him. He’s a little embarrassed to learn that, even ten years later, when she says jump he still asks how high, and then tries to double it. The moment she kissed him he felt like that naive college boy again, so starved for affection that he’d take it from the teeth of a snarling dog and then thank it for biting him.

He suspects that Scully only orders a drink so he’ll feel comfortable doing the same, though she reasons that she doesn’t really have anything else that needs finishing today, so it’s not an issue if her afternoon is a total loss. She’s actually a really good friend, now that he’s thinking about it. He’s only ever thought of her as his partner, but she shows up for him outside of work, too. And while he might have expected her to bristle at his moderately unprofessional behavior during the investigation, she’d only rolled her eyes and gently teased him, much like a friend would.

“So,” she says halfway through their second round of drinks. He can tell by the wry smile on her mouth that she’s wading into uncharted territory. “Would I be correct if I guessed that Phoebe ripped your heart to pieces and then told you to clean up the mess?”

Mulder cringes a little, but he’s smiling too. Not because it’s funny, but because she’s right.

“Something like that,” he says, then takes a sip of his drink. “Though I wish I could say it only happened once.”

“Ah,” Scully says knowingly, sitting back in her seat and resting the ankle of one leg on the knee of the other.

They both removed their suit jackets the moment they sat down, and Mulder has since loosened his tie and cuffed his shirtsleeves. Scully is wearing one of those ruffled blouses she seems to have in every color, the ones that have a rather deep V in the neck that’s made modest by all the excess material surrounding it. Sometimes he looks at her in her boxy suits and shoulder pads and thinks about what she looked like in nothing but her bra and panties under candlelight, but he’s careful never to let her see him looking at her that way. The fact that she’s beautiful is filed away in his mind behind more pertinent traits like intelligent, brave, determined, funny, and loyal.

“Pathetic, I know,” he says, looking down at his glass to hide the chagrin on his face. “And she just about looped me in for another round, if I’m being honest.”

“The sex was that good, huh?” she says, and he snaps his head up to be sure that it’s still his consummately professional partner sitting across the table from him.

She’s still there, the skin on her chest flushed pink with booze. She smirks behind her glass, perhaps a bit proud of her locker room talk.

“Depends on your definition of good, I guess,” he answers honestly. “It was pretty wild, and at the tender age of twenty-one, wild was as good as it got.”

Scully’s eyebrows raise curiously and he feels his groin grow just a bit heavy. He’s not sure how explicit of a discussion she’d be open to, but he’s interested in finding out.

“Are we talking ‘group sex’ wild, or ‘masochism’ wild?” she asks, just as casually as if she were asking him what classes he and Phoebe had together at Oxford. Mulder clears his throat.

“I think there was undeniably some masochism involved on my part, but more like high-risk or transgressive.”

“Transgressive,” Scully repeats with interest, her head tilting thoughtfully to the side. She doesn’t ask, but he tells her anyway.

“She, uh…she gave me a blow job on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s grave once, as an example,” he says, hiding his pride behind sheepishness.

A slow grin breaks out over Scully’s face, and Mulder feels a warm flush all over his body.

“Agent Mulder,” she admonishes him lightly, picking up her nearly empty glass and sucking the last bits of liquid off the bottom. “How disrespectful.”

“Yeah,” he says, looking between her smiling face and the table top. “I think that was kind of the point. It was hardly worth it, though. She broke up with me the next day with no explanation and she was sleeping with one of my friends by the end of the week.”

Scully’s smile fades and she holds her glass up, making eye contact with their waiter and gesturing that they’d like another round.

“Mulder, I’ve known plenty of women like her,” she says, her tone shifting as she uncrosses her legs and leans in. “She hates herself so much that the only thing that brings her any pleasure is to be pursued. She showers men with affection and attention, and then withdraws it as soon as she knows they’re hooked.” She pauses while the waiter drops off fresh drinks and takes away their empty glasses, as well as the remains of their lunch. “Men chasing after her, asking what they did wrong and how they can win her back, is the entire objective. Let me guess, if you ever call her out on it she acts offended that you’d define her character based on a couple little mistakes?”

Now Mulder sits back in his chair, disturbed by such an accurate description of his tumultuous relationship with Phoebe.

“Were you secretly attending Oxford in 1983, Scully?” he asks uncomfortably, then takes a gulp of his drink that burns all the way down his throat.

She smiles, pleased with herself.

“Phoebe isn’t nearly as unique as she’d like you to think, Mulder,” she says, resting her elbows on the table and then her chin on her joined hands.

“Well, she sure pulled one over on me,” he says, feeling embarrassed again. “More times than I care to admit.”

He drags his middle finger through the ring of water left by his glass, drawing slow, contemplative circles on the table top. Scully’s hand appears from his periphery and settles over his own, and she waits until he looks up at her.

“It’s not your fault, Mulder,” she says tenderly. “She saw a vulnerability in you and she took advantage of it. Having been on the receiving end of that myself, I can empathize with the fact that it’s difficult to see it for what it is when you’re in the middle of it.”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better,” he says lightly, trying to reclaim the playful banter he’d been enjoying a few minutes ago.

Scully withdraws her hand and picks up her glass.

“I wish that I were,” she says wistfully. “Though I can’t say that my own youthful hijinks included oral sex on the gravesites of famed authors. I’m disturbed to learn the origin of your private joke, by the way.”

Mulder laughs, but he also entertains a mental image of Scully spread-eagle on the trampled grass in front of Doyle’s cement headstone, a dark-haired man’s head between her legs.

“Glad to hear you don’t think I’m a total schmuck,” he says.

“No, not a schmuck,” she assures him with a shake of her head. “I will admit to being a bit surprised by how submissive you were towards her, though.”

The comment was clearly offhand, based on her demeanor, but it hits him like an insult.

“Submissive?” he repeats, sitting up a little taller. “What makes you say that?”

She considers him for a moment before answering.

“You deferred to her in every respect,” she explains. “It was quite clear that she was in charge.”

“It was her case,” he shoots back. “Of course she was in charge.”

Scully holds up both her hands, palms facing him, in surrender.

“Forget I said anything,” she says. “We should probably get back to work soon.”

“I’m not submissive, Scully,” he says emphatically, ignoring her previous statement.

“I didn’t mean it pejoratively, Mulder; it’s not a bad thing to be. I was simply saying that I was surprised by it.”

“Well whatever you think you saw, you’re wrong,” he says sternly, trying to catch her eye.

Reluctantly, she makes eye contact and holds it for a beat.

“Whatever you say,” she says, acquiescent but characteristically skeptical.

Mulder clenches his jaw, holding back a tawdry remark. He waves their waiter over and asks for the check, as well as a cab, and then drains his glass. Fifteen minutes later they pile into the back seat of a taxi, buzzed to the point of uselessness as far as work is concerned.

“Where to?” the cabbie asks, meeting Mulder’s eye in the rear-view mirror.

“Alexandria,” he says, and Scully looks over at him.

“No, the J. Edgar Hoover building,” she corrects, and Mulder levels her with a steely stare.

“No, Alexandria,” he says again, and her eyebrows furrow.

“What are you doing?” she asks quietly.

“Where to, folks? Meter’s running,” the cabbie says, annoyed.

“Alexandria,” Mulder repeats, turning to look out the window as the cab pulls away from the curb.

He feels Scully’s eyes on him, but he doesn’t look at her right away. He makes her wait nearly two full blocks before he slowly turns his head and takes in the thoroughly confused expression on her face. Even then, he doesn’t proactively justify his actions like he typically would. He just looks at her, letting his eyes fall to the exposed skin on her chest and then dragging them slowly back up to her face. She opens her mouth and closes it, swallows, then finally turns to look out the window, and he finds himself fighting off a smile. He’s already rendered her speechless and he’s just barely getting started.

The cab deposits them in the parking lot of his apartment building, and after paying the driver he wordlessly heads inside, relying on his reflection in the glass doors to confirm that Scully is following behind him. In the elevator, he again feels her staring him down but does not reward her with eye contact. He behaves as though she isn’t there until the doors open on the fourth floor, at which point he gives her another once-over glance and then says, “After you,” in a tone that tells her it’s a directive, not an offer.

He follows her too-closely down the hall. Not so close that she could rightfully question it, but closer than is socially acceptable. When she arrives in front of apartment forty-two he reaches past her, key in hand, to unlock it, effectively trapping her between his body and the door. She stiffens but doesn’t speak, and when the door swings open he has to touch her back to encourage her inside. She stands in his foyer while he deposits his wallet, keys, and cellphone in their designated places, seemingly waiting to find out what will happen next.

He slips her suit jacket off her shoulders and she lifts her arms out of it, watching him curiously as he hangs it on the billiard ball coat rack near the door. He can feel that her tolerance to continue waiting for the punchline is waning, so he nods toward the dining room table behind her and says, “Have a seat.”

Scully turns to look at each of the three chairs set around the table. One is hosting a stack of books, one a pile of unfolded laundry, and the other a banker’s box full of junk he was planning to donate.

“Where?” she asks flatly, one eyebrow raised.

Mulder steps forward and grabs her by the waist, hoisting her up onto the tabletop. She makes a startled little gasping sound and wraps her hands around his forearms, regarding him with wide eyes.

“What are you doing?” she asks, alarmed.

He pushes even closer, so close that he’s occupying the space between her open legs, his hands still on her waist, and leans down as though he’s going to kiss her. She stays stock still, her eyes open, and at the last second he shifts his head to the side and brushes his lips lightly across her ear.

“Who’s submissive now?” he whispers, and he feels her shiver at the tickle of his breath.

He leans away from her, grinning victoriously and expecting to see something along the lines of embarrassment or irritation on her face, but she looks awestruck. Her lips are slightly parted, her eyes unfocused, and she’s breathing heavily.

“Scully?” he asks hesitantly. Did he take it too far? Did he scare her?

Her hazy eyes take a meandering path up his chest to his face, then narrow a little. Her jaw sets, the corner of her mouth quirks, and she reaches up with one hand to grab hold of the loosened tie still hanging from his neck. He opens his mouth in preparation to apologize, but she tugs hard and his mouth crashes into hers. Suddenly he’s tasting whisky and lipstick, and the heels of her shoes are digging into his ass.

Something he should have guessed about Dana Scully is that she takes no prisoners. The one time he attempts to come up for air with the intention of making sure she’s thought this through, she silences him with her hot little hand down the front of his dockers, and he decides that they’ll just have to learn to lie in the bed they’re making. She pops half the buttons off his shirt when she artlessly tears it open, then rips his undershirt off over his head so violently she just about takes one of his ears with it. She gets him down to his boxers while she’s still perched on the edge of his dining room table, fully dressed, and he realizes that he’s completely ceded control to her.

Her hands are just slipping under the waist of his boxers, preparing to divest him of the last scrap of clothing on his body, when he grabs them and pins them to the table beside her hips on either side. She looks up at him, panting, and smiles.

“Point taken, agent,” he says, his face inches from hers.

“You do realize that brute force isn’t dominance, right?” she playfully chides him, looking at one of her restrained hands and then the other.

She’s so sassy, a trait she normally doles out in bite size pieces, and he’d be a damn liar if he tried to claim he didn’t like it.

“What was your plan here?” he asks, grateful that the bend in his waist necessary to hold her hands against the table is obscuring the fact that he’s half-hard.

“I might ask you the same question,” she retorts haughtily.

A beat passes, and she runs her tongue across her bottom lip nervously. It occurs to him that maybe this isn’t just a prank that’s gone too far.

“Are you drunk, Scully?”

She sighs, her head lolling to the side thoughtfully.

“Maybe a little bit,” she confesses. “Are you?”

“Maybe a little bit,” he agrees. “Am I taking advantage of you?”

She shakes her head slowly. “Not yet,” she says, and something in the tenor of her voice sends blood rushing to his lap.

“Would you like me to?” The words leave his mouth before he’s given them even a split second of consideration, and the resulting flash of adrenaline makes him dizzy.

“Maybe a little bit,” she answers, her chest heaving.

The second he lets go of her hands so he can simultaneously kiss her and get to work unbuttoning her blouse, she pushes his boxers off his hips, leaving him nude. She doesn’t touch him right away, though she makes no attempt to hide her appreciative leering, and the combined pride and desperation bolster his confidence to the point that they quiet the little voice in his head that’s telling him this is a bad idea.

In short order, he fills in the details of her body that were previously hidden beneath white cotton. Her breasts are small but perfectly proportioned, and when she lifts her hips and allows him to divest her of her slacks and panties, he finds a full patch of ginger curls between her legs.

For a moment they just look at each other, her hands on his waist and his resting on the tops of her thighs. When he looks at her face and she meets his eye, he at once realizes the gravity of what’s happening and also that it’s already too late to avoid whatever the consequences will be. Nonetheless, he’s afraid.

Scully smiles demurely and tosses her head to get her hair out of her face.

“You’re not getting submissive on me, are you?” she asks playfully, though he senses that she’s a little afraid too.

He allows himself to get lost in living up to her expectations, almost like he’s playing a role. He’s the man who carries her to his couch and tells her to watch while he tastes the slickness between her legs. He’s the man who holds her hands above her head while he makes her come with his fingers. He’s the man who hands her a—miraculously—unexpired condom and instructs her to put it on him, and then he is the man who bends her over the arm of his couch and tries not to seem too proud when she gasps at the size of him and comes again within a minute.

She moves to sit on the couch, her legs wobbling, and looks skeptically at the condom still snuggly covering his erection, which isn’t waning in the least.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you weren’t finished,” she says breathlessly as she pulls a blanket off the back of his couch to cover her nudity.

He’d hoped she wouldn’t notice. Diana never did. Or she didn’t care enough to say anything about it, anyway.

“Don’t worry about it,” he says, tugging the condom off and retrieving his boxers from the floor near the table.

“Are you that drunk?” she asks, mildly alarmed.

“No,” he answers quickly. “It just…doesn’t always happen for me.”

“Hm,” she says thoughtfully, and he wishes she’d stop looking at him like that. Like she might actually listen if he told her about the other ways Phoebe took advantage of his vulnerability. About how difficult it is for him to let go in front of someone else now. About how lonely it makes him feel.

He sits beside her and they talk for a long time. About nothing. About everything. About what they just did and what it means for them. Eventually, he does tell her about Phoebe. She doesn’t make him feel weak or silly, or express surprise that a man could experience that kind of issue. She’s empathetic, and angry on his behalf, and she doesn’t take it personally or claim to know how to fix him like most women do. The booze wears away and a new kind of trust is forged, and he gets the feeling that she might turn out to be the best friend he’s ever had.

When she kisses his cheek and slips her hand under the waist of his boxers, he knows that it’s not out of pity. She doesn’t touch him like he’s broken or treat him like a project, and he doesn’t feel any pressure to perform. She coaxes him to the edge and he trusts that she’ll be there to catch him when he falls.

He lets go.

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

ON THE CONTRARY OF THAT ONE ASK—

Comically tall m!soc with the gang?? M!soc is one of the only nice socs and is pretty polite (bro was raised in a hella dysfunctional family but they had manners)

lowkey a pussy. Cannot fight for the life of him and has chronic back issues from how often he slouches to make himself less intimidating. He actually rlly likes poetry too, and tries to bond with pony over it (he fails. Miserably)

Honestly a beanpole. Mans is all height, no width. Roughly 6’4 if you want a proper visual

LMAO I LOVE THIS YAS ANONthis is gonna be hilarious (why is this loser my type)

Tall Wimpy M!Soc x The Gang + Shepard Boys

Ponyboy Curtis

-I don’t feel like he’s really decided how he feels about you

-Like he appreciates you trying to bond with him

-but he cringes when he looks back on that memory

-he does think it’s kind of funny that you’re so scary but you’re an absolute wimp

-Teases you about whenever you ran away, screaming from a rumble

-I feel like the gang would’ve kind of picked on him at first, but then kind of grown to like him because of how polite he is

Johnny Cade

-man, you’re so not tough

-he thinks it’s nice that you’re so polite

-you’re kind of the gang‘s pet in like a different way than him

-The gang knows that Johnny can hold his own if needed

-You legitimately need protection from like almost everything

-I think you are kind of funny together because Johnny is more small but better than you and you look tougher but you’re not

Sodapop Curtis

-he’s also generally polite

-And admires the fact you’re a Soc

-And not stuck up

-sure maybe you’re a bit wimpy and can’t fight for shit

-but hey, at least you’re baseline polite

-he would use you as a human body shield in a rumble though

Darry Curtis

-I honestly don’t think he can stand you

-I don’t know why I just think that he doesn’t.

-He just can’t stand people like you.

-he doesn’t understand how someone of your size could possibly not fight to their advantage

-because when you’re a greaser you take every little bit and scrap that can be used to your advantage

-so we can’t comprehend how you aren’t doing that

-Then again, he didn’t grow up as privileged as you

Dallas Winston

-he just thinks your existence is hilarious

-Probably just laughs at you💀

-Picks on you the hardest side of the gang

Two Bit Mathews

-“Hey, how’s the weather up there big guy?”

-“Can you kiss the moon for me?”

-“ Yeah, you could climb Mount Everest in two steps”

-“ Did ya have fun chasing Jack down the beanstalk?”

-and as soon as he finds out how much of a wimp you are

-you know he’s making fun of that too

-“Careful, don’t punch him. He’ll fall over like a pencil”

-“ Careful running sweetheart the stick that keeps you standing straight might fall outta your ass.”

-he never lets you live it down whenever you run away from a rumble screaming

Steve Randle

-like Darry I feel like he’s also a little bit annoyed at you

-Doesn’t really understand you

-but also like sodapop he’s definitely using you as a human body shield

-he’s kind of coldly neutral around you

Tim Shepard

-pretty similar to Dallas

-He doesn’t really care that much about you

-but if you guys grow to become friends, he would protect you

Curly Shepard

-based on how he kind of likes picking on anyone who is below him to make himself feel bigger in canon

-I’m guessing he’s probably beat you up before and you two aren’t on talking terms

-Gets really mad when you’ve managed to outrun him

[fandomgremlinlover]

My opinions on the ATLA Live action series (just from the first episode):

….I fucking hate it.

No, the visuals are not the problem. And no, the cast is not the problem. It’s the fucking dialogue and delivery. As well at the changes they’ve made.

I can tell you right now, as a hard core atla fan, LA katara is not the katara I know. Why the FUCK is this girl not RAGEFUL AND SASSY!!! There is literally nothing to work with, her personality is dry, and her dialogue and delivery is so fucking blaaaannnd. It literally makes me want gouge my eyeballs out. My girl has been RUINED!!! THIS IS MUTINY!?!? Not only that, but aang’s lines and dialogue make me want to cringe and cry and throw up. His delivery is NOT done well (I blame the fuckin directors for this) and his lines make absolutely NOOOO sense for his character. Wheres the goofy little boy I know!?! Wheres the kid who RAN AWAY bc he was scared to be the Avatar!?! WHERES AANG!?!?

His reactions to his people being dead and gone are NOT it👁️👄👁️ also that reaction for Gyasto came out of fucking nowhere. He ALREADY knew about his peoples death, and how the fire nation had something to do with it!? He literally went from, “IM GONNA FUCKING KILL EVERYONE WITH MY AVATAR POWERS!!” to literally, “sorry guys,😢😢 I don’t know what got into me, I guess I overreacted a bit😰😔”…..NO YOU DIDNT AND WHY ARE YOU SO MATURE FOR 12 YEARS OLD!?!? ALSO WHY DID THEY CHANGE HIM FROM RUNNING AWAY!?! TO “I think I need some time to think guys😕😕😔😔” LIKE—NOOOOOOOO YOUR SUPPOSED FO FEEL AFRIAD OF BEING THE AVATAR AND BEING SENT AWAY AND YOU DONT WANT FO BE DIFFERENT AND SO YOU RUN AWAY FROM YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES BC YOUR IN DENIALLLLLLL😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Not only that, but media literacy is dead. Bc wtf do you mean you have to explain ALLLL the lore and info dump in the first episode😀 What happened to show not tell, hmm??? What happened to people having to use their fucking BRAINS to figure out themselves!?!? WHY THE HELL DID YOU PUT THE ORIGINAL INTRO INTO GRANNY’S DIALOGUE!?!?

AND WHY, do pray tell, DID YOU TELL AANG ABOUT THE GENOCIDE TO HIS PEOPLE IN THE FIRST FUCKING EPISODE!?!??! AND LITERALLY HAVE HIM REACT “man we lose people, but we gotta move forward😔” NOOOOOO WHYYY, AGAIN, DO YOU HAVE TO PUT IN BLOCKBUSTER MOVIE DIALOGUE💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

Iroh is a whole other can of worms that I will open later, but right now what you need to know is, I’m fucking pissed.

Now onto another issue, Zuko’s scar…Why the hell is it pretty-fied!?! Like, that is NOT Zuko’s fucking scar and anyone who wants to argue me about that can suck a lemon. Bc I’ve seen WAYYYY better makeup done by cheap ass makeup for cosplays. Let me say that again, COSPLAYS. Zuko’s scar is supposed to cover at LEAST half his face, and reach his ear. It’s supposed to be ugly and unsatisfying to look at. Because it’s a fucking fire burn. Also he can barely lift his fucking eyelid in the canon show, so what the fuck is that about!?! Like I don’t WANT a nice, aesthetically pleasing scar, I want an ACTUAL FUCKING BURN THAT DOESNT LOOK LIKE IT WAS DRAWN ON BY EYELINER!!!!!🤬🤬🤬

Sokka, my poor sweet funny Sokka…what have they done to you!!😭😭 They removed his most IMPORTANT character arc bc it was “iffy” and “was not relevant to the plot”…..it was fucking relevant you sick sacks of shit, he’s supposed to be iffy and then later grow threw Suki. He’s SUPPOSED TO BE SEXIST AND GROW AS A CHARACTER BC EVERYONE HAS FLAWS!?! IT WAS MEANT TO PROGRESS HIM BECOMING A BETTER LEADER AND MAKE HIM LEARN THAT UNDERESTIMATING HIS ENEMIES IS A NO GO!?!? LIKE, EVEN 9 YEAR OLD FUCKING ME SAW THAT SHIT!?!? BUT YOU CANT????? 💀

The only thing I enjoyed about this episode was the visuals, and admittedly, the air temple battle scene. It got to me, and it goes to show that the fire benders were brutal when they committed a genocide against the Air nomads. That was it….i…I don’t know how I sat through the rest of the episode….bc it makes me SOO angry. Like, as soon as the ending credits came, I started sobbing. They had the ability and the tools to make a great live action of ATLA, but they blew it. Because this show isn’t for the fans or for anyone who likes to sit down and discuss the meanings and implications of each scene and its significance for the show. No, this show is for people who only want noise in the background. I don’t care for it, and I’m not happy with what they’ve done. When I heard the original creators stepped away from it bc they were promised this show would be exactly like the original series, but instead they chose what they wanted to do and change. I knew we were doomed. I understand there are people who live the live action, and I understand. But I simply cannot tolerate the show when I know they could do better. I hate to compare shows and medias, but One Piece set my expectations really high. Bc the creator had full control or say over any and every decision that was made in the LA. The Live action ATLA disappointed me and I’m very sorry to say that I didn’t enjoy it. But I had a hunch, and for me, I was right.

[elysianstarl1ght]

TF2 HALF-ANIMAL AU

HEAR ME OUT.

au where engie and medic are experimenting, the other mercs are in the room when something goes wrong. they get it contained and don't think anything went wrong, until they all go to sleep, wake up, and find that they all have new animal features.

medic - dove heavy - grizzly bear pyro - scorpion engie - bumblebee demo - 'unknown sea creature' (nessie) soldier - eagle spy - rattlesnake sniper - tarantula scout - rabbit

i wanted to avoid mythical creatures but i really had no idea what to do with demo. but i think imma stick with it because technically its not mythical in the tf2-verse and i have a rlly funny hc about it.. so..

ONTO SOME HEADCANONS!

(warning you. theres alot. a l o t .)

scout constantly complaining that he "got a rabbit of all things and not a cool animal" and refusing to admit he's actually having a lot of fun as a rabbit. he really likes his new ears he'll just never admit it

(also pauling trying to talk to scout through the headphones but his ears are on the top of his head and he cant hear through the headphones

one of the mercs calling pauling to let her know what happened and she shows up at reds base and is just like "what the fuck did you guys DO" and she goes on a huge rant and eventually asks if medic can make an antidote, to which he says yes.

demo having a huge ass tail and constantly knocking things over because he doesnt know how to control it.

medic officially banned him from the infirmary until he could get a cure to un-animalify them. demo went in there ONE TIME on the first day and knocked over an entire cabinet filled with medical supplies and he never went in there again (he darted out of the room instantly because he was worried medic was gonna kick his ass /lh)

engie absolutely loves his wings, he doesnt use them often but when he does he gets so excited and giddy bc theyre SO helpful!! hes probably also rlly protective of them too!

soldier knocks shit over with her wings all the damn time too. she randomly flaps her wings because she Loves Them and wants to show them off and whatever she's next to goes flying. she was also probably one of the only mercs that wasnt extremely concerned when she woke up; she probably shouted "AMERICA!!!!" at the top of her lungs and woke up half the base

spy wearing his mask significantly less because she has scales on the side of his face and under her eyes and the mask rubbing against the scales makes him cringe (sensory issues moment)

also i just find it slightly cruel how i made spy a SNAKE and scout a RABBIT. just- just think about that real quick.

sniper would have the time of his LIFE fucking with his team and the opposing team with his new spider powers!! some examples below

creating web traps to catch them. he especially does this to blu spy when he tries to backstab sniper (and scout just for fun. he falls for the traps every time)

web nets just around corners in the base that the mercs run into

crawling along the ceiling and walls to scare the shit out of his team, especially at night

swinging down infront of them when hes hanging on the ceiling also to scare the shit out of them

yeah sniper probably hated being a tarantula at first, but after he discovered what he could do oh BOY. he never realized how much fun messing with people was!! (he no longer blames scout and pyro for doing stupid shit)

pyro lowkey struggles with their mask and suit because of their new scorpion features. like they have those extra leg thingies and it was a huge struggle trying to get those to work with his suit

and dont get me started on his pincher hand things. pyro struggled. alot.

and his stinger thing. houh boy they probably accidentally killed the mercs a lot of times with that thing...

i dont really have anything for heavy yet (please feel free to drop any hcs) but i can tell you this much he has HUGE bear hands and he has bear ears and medic finds it absolutely adorable.

adding onto this medic wrapping his wings around the mercs while healing them when theyre standing still. like theyre hiding around a corner and medic brings them closer with his wings.

ALSO MEDIC HAS BIRD FEET (he hates it) and he had to cut holes in a pair of his gloves because he got bird talons (he REALLY hates that.)

oh my god thasts... thats a lot of writing... thats not even all of it... oh yikes...

[overobsessedfanboy23]

Yugioh dubs ranked from most tolerable to most deserving of a punch in the face

(No Sevens cuz the dub isn’t finished)

Best: 5Ds

Yes, it’s incomplete. Yes, the censorship is absurdly bad and confusing. Yes, it’s stupid as shit sometimes. But you know what? The dub is the only way I will willingly watch 90% of 5Ds because the sub is so terribly boring and lifeless. The dub actors and script breathed life into the characters, giving them and the series a personality and making the story instantly more compelling than it was in sub.

2nd most tolerable: Arc V

Not my favourite series and I generally prefer the sub voices but it’s this high up for one simple reason: there are no major story changes. At all. The most major issue I noticed when watching this dub was a poor interpretation of a previously impactful scene. So overall, a solid dub.

3rd most tolerable: Zexal

Honestly? For the first two thirds, this is a very faithful and highly enjoyable dub with some good voice acting and an enjoyable sense of humour that didn’t clash with the tone of the show, since Zexal was goofy even in sub. There were definitely problems, and some stupid edits/censorships but apart from cutting Alito’s implied bi-ness, none of the censorship made me upset... until we got the barian backstories, which are so beyond butchered it muddles the story, weakens most of and even downright ruins one of the Barians’ characters, and are a worse dumber story overall. Apart from that though, I do admittedly enjoy this dub. Maybe it’s just my enjoyment of Zexal, and the fact that unlike my other two favourites, its dub actually gave a shit but I did enjoy watching this dub.

Mid: Duel Monsters

I’m torn. Because on the one hand, this is the show that introduced me to the concept that dubs could be lying censoring americanising pieces of shit that actively tarnish the show they’re adapting. But at the same time... there are things about the dub I genuinely prefer. The plotpoint that got me attached to Yugioh (Yugi not being able to trust Atem after his attempted murder on Kaiba) was dub exclusive. For every shitty terribly adapted scene this show has, it does one other thing right. So... I’m a little undecided. I don’t really want to go back and fully watch this show in sub, and I’m glad I saw it in dub as that allowed me to get sucked into it naturally, but at the same... some of those dub scenes are genuinely hard to watch. So overall, don’t hate this dub, but it’s not good.

Now, for the two dubs I do hate:

2nd most deserving of a punch in the face: VRAINS

*deep breath* Compliments first. 1) Ai and Spectre’s dub voices are legendary, and while I prefer the sub voices, the other voice actors generally do a good job. 2) The running joke about hot dogs is legitimately funny, I kept it going in my post VRAINS fic that otherwise follows sub continuity because I loved it that much. NEARLY EVERY OTHER ATTEMPT AT HUMOUR IN THIS JOKE OF A DUB FUCKING SUCKS. Most of it it shitty cringe inducing Internet references or stupid quips right of a shitty MCU movie, the kind from late phase three and all of phase four that kill whatever semblance of tension or atmosphere there was every five seconds for an attempt at comedy. And don’t even get me started on the final duel. Playmaker insulting a dying man he spent the entire show with isn’t funny, it’s fucking twisted and disgusting. And the gay erasure is actually blatant here. The dub actively created romantic hints between Yusaku and Aoi and actively took those hints that away from Yusaku and Ai, WHO HAD A CANON AT THE VERY LEAST ONE SIDED LOVE CONFESSION AT THE END OF THE SERIES THAT THE DUB ALSO CENSORED. This isn’t me overanalysing or pushing a ship, Ai having romantic feelings for Yusaku was very intentional in the narrative of the sub and the dub censoring that is something I can only see as malicious and disgusting.

Most deserving of a punch in the face: GX

Take everything I said about the VRAINS dub only subtract the good voice acting. The GX dub voice actors honestly sound bored. I don’t blame anyone who couldn’t get into this show through the dub because how can anyone be invested in the characters and their plights if the characters aren’t even invested? Or are constantly and very distractingly breaking the fourth wall, completely ruining the grounded down to earth feel of the original. The name changes? The worst of any series. Manjome is turned into a complete joke despite being well rounded character, Rei’s name change completely ruins her introduction episode by making the twist way too obvious to at least american audiences (which the dub was made with in mind), and the others are the most americanized schlock I’ve seen in my life. The third season, the best season in sub? The dub doesn’t resemble it in the slightest. It can’t take jackshit seriously. It can’t treat its characters, who were compelling in the sub, as anything more than stupid jokes, and the same goes for the narrative as a whole. Yubel went from a complex terrifying antagonist so twisted and traumatised the only way they knew how to show love was through torment to a whiny little baby with the more ear-piercing obnoxious voice in any of these dubs. Yes, that includes Z-Arc. Not to mention “censoring” their body to make them fully female because god forbid children be forced to witness a gender ambiguous person. And god forbid they see a romance involving that gender ambiguous person. How filthy and wrong to exist and not fit into the gender binary. Great fucking job 4Kids. Oh, and great job making an entire generation of kids think the loveable happy go lucky protagonist (who never developed past that baseline personality in your shitty ass dub because character depth, what’s that?!) of your shitty ass dub died in the end because he inexplicably wanted to save the villain who’d been torturing him for an entire season. GREAT FUCKING WORK.

[thegirlwhowrites642]

For me, the biggest "let's make Harry & Hermione's relationship come off as better while undermining his friendship with Ron & beige-dishragificating his future wife" moment the films ruined for me was the scene where Harry says his goodbye to Ron & Hermione. I don't blame the actors, but the Fing script. How wood Hermione know Harry's a horcrux? Y did they make Ron "HE BEAT U!" Weasley awkwardly stand there without showing a reaction? Where was the fact that Harry INEXPLICABLY thot of Ginny?!!

Hahahaha. Do you know what the funny thing is? This was just one of the millions of scenes whose general concept they took from the books but then made everything go in the exact opposite direction. The excuse that the movies are a summary doesn't count anymore there.

In the book, Harry doesn't even see anyone he cares about but Ginny (sorry Nev, it is what it is) and he's not able to say goodbye because otherwise, he would never be able to do what he has to do. It's a gut-wrenching moment. The whole sequence from when Harry understands that he has to die to when he dies is my favorite one of the saga and in the movie they completely destroy it. And don't even get me started on the erasure of Harry's last thought, completely ruining the allegory of his two families, the past and the future.

But also the idea that book!Ron and book!Hermione would let Harry go is so absurd. Ron would've taken Harry and locked him in a room and Hermione would have gone crazy and rushed to the library frantically claiming that there needed to be another solution.

The only person that I could ever maybe hypothetically consider having the emotional strenght to let Harry go would be Ginny. But Harry thought he was going to die and he would have never let Ginny live with the fact that she didn't stop him. It's also true that Harry wouldn't have been able to go anyway, so problem solved.

Movie!Ron standing there and not even hugging Harry was so ridiculous and can I also say cringe? The movies from the fourth one on are a cringe-fest, honestly.

One last thing about Ginny being Harry's last thought is that it is only one of the many scenes between them that is incredibly cinematic in the books, scenes that were all erased when they made the actual movies. We have Ginny running after the train and Harry looking at her, their looks at each other when they share a joke would have worked so well on screen, the first kiss, the break-up scene, and the kiss in Ginny's room where they could've done so many interesting things with the light from her window...

The last thought would have even worked referencing that shitty first kiss from the HBP movie. When Voldermort throws the Avada Kedavra, you make Harry close his eyes, suspension of reality, the scene slows down, there's Ginny who takes a step towards Harry and kisses him, Harry opens his eyes, Ginny is not there instead the scene returns to the normal pace and the curse hits Harry. All of this done with the appropriate camera angles obviously.

And you know, as much as I'll be eternally angry at Kloves, the worst one will always be JKR never saying anything bad about the movies just because it was economically convenient for her. She knows they suck, everybody knows that. They are bad movies even if you haven't read the books (besides the first two). There's even an interview with Radcliffe where they basically make fun of the fans who didn't like the differences with the books pretending that people's issue was that there wasn't every single scene from the books. Pathetic.

[cherrycola27]

HUNG UP

Chapter 3

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x OC Adaline Carson

Warnings: Language, drinking, allusion to Smut. Hangman being Hangman. Minors DNI 18+

"Rooster get OFF of me!" Ada yelled as she attempted to push the larger man off of her. "Jesus Christ you are so heavy!" She heaved trying to escape the unwanted cuddle from her friend.

Rooster sighed and rolled over. "Well this could have easily been avoided if you didn't have the world's most uncomfortable couch." He laughed getting up from her bed. "I have fallen asleep on that couch plenty of times with no issues sir!" Adaline shot back. "Yes but you are five and a half feet tall! I'm sorry all six feet and two inches of me couldn't easily fit on your couch like you can." Rooster responded.

It was true she wasn't the tallest person she had to look up to everyone on the Dagger Squad but her height didn't keep her from being a bad ass and at least when she did tell people that Rooster had stayed the night with her and cuddled that wouldn't be a lie. She had to admit it was nice having someone keep her warm last night. Her bed had been significantly colder in the previous nights ever since Jake had stopped sleeping over.

Adaline grabbed her clothes and went into her bathroom to change. She slid on her favorite teal bikini and a cute tank top and cut off jean shorts she tossed her hair in a messy bun and packed a bag for the beach. She decided to forgo makeup for the day considering she would just sweat it off, so she settled for a swipe of her favorite lip gloss across her lips. Once she exited the bathroom Rooster emerged from down the hall in a fresh tank top and swim trunks. He completed the look with his classic aviators and ridiculous Hawiian shirt.

"Ready to roll sweetheart?" He asked. Ada cringed at the pet name. "Sure am... honey... let's get this fake dating scam going" she replied pushing past him to head down stairs.

The day had gone well. Since Ada and Rooster were friends they had a good time together they ate, went to the beach, swam, and watched the sunset just like she planned. They even took some cute pictures that she put on Instagram. She hoped Jake would see them considering he followed her, and even if he didn't she was sure someone else from the team would show him.

Rooster spent the night again and this time when he went to cuddle her, Adaline didn't put up a fight. However she was completely shocked when Rooster sealed his lips along the spot where her neck met her shoulder. "Bradley what the Fuck? I told you no funny business!" She yelled pushing him away. "Ada chill... its all part of the plan remember... I'm getting fake laid tonight before I get to show you off tomorrow. I'm just leaving a little evidence. You won't be able to see it in uniform, but it will be visible in one of those pretty little sundresses you love to wear." He told her.

"How many people have you fake dated Bradshaw? You're like really good at this." Adaline laughed before turning over to sleep.

"I can't fucking believe it!" Jake exclaimed sitting in his truck. It was just after 11pm and and for the second night in a row when he had gone by her house, Roosters Bronco graced the spot in Adaline's driveway that used to be reserved for his Silverado. "This cannot be happening. How could she have moved on so fast?" He thought to himself. Which they hadn't been dating in the first place and if they weren't together they technically couldn't break up. So technically Ada wasn't doing anything wrong he told himself. But it was Rooster of all people for her to go running to... Rooster?!

She could have picked Fanboy, Coyote, Payback, hell she even could have picked Bob and he probably wouldn't have batted an eye... but Rooster? Sure he and Bradshaw were friends.. kind of... but Bradley knew how Jake felt about Adaline Casron yet he was more than happy to get in her pants the moment Jake was out of the picture. "Damn you Rooster." He cursed under his breath and drove away.

The Hard Deck was packed on Sunday night. Adaline held her breath as she and Rooster walked in hand in hand. She looked good. She was wearing a baby pink sundress covered in red roses. She matched her lipstick to the shade of the flowers on her dress. Her hair was curled and pulled back from her face and the love bite Rooster had given her was on full display next to the barely there straps of her dress.

The couple greeted theit friends warmly before Phoenix began interrogating them about their blooming relationship. After she was satisfied with the fake backstory the pair gave Rooster lead Ada to the bar.

"Penny! Get this little lady whatever she wants on my tab!" He called before he turned to rejoin the team for a game of pool. Penny gave Ada a sly grin. "You and Rooster uh? I always thought you and Hangman had something going on?" Penny prodded as she set a tequila shot and a dirty Shirley infront of Ada. "What can I say P? Rooster knows what he wants unlike some people!" Adaline shouted of the crowd. She quickly down the shot and chased it with her mixed drink. Once both glasses were empty Penny handed her another Shirley and a beer for Rooster. Ada happily walked over to the rest of the group.

Hangman had debated even going out tonight but he needed a stiff drink and an easy girl tonight because his hand just wasn't doing the trick. Hopefully he could avoid Ada and her new 'boyfriend' but much to his chagrin as soon as he walked in, he spotted them dancing. He almost turned on his heels until a pretty brunette walked up to him and started to flirt. She wasn't nearly as pretty as Ada, but she would do for the night.

As the evening drug on Hangman hardly paid attention to the brunette... her name was Taylor or was is Tonya... he couldn't remember and he really didn't care. After an hour of talking the brunette snapped her fingers in his face. "Listen Jake, I don't know what you're focused on but it's obviously not me have a goodnight dude." She said before hopping off the bar stool. Poor girl it wasn't her fault that he couldn't take his eyes of of Adaline and Rooster. He hated seening them happy together. "That should be me" he thought.

The sound of the bar groaning and the juke box cutting off snapped Hangman back to reality once again. Soon he heard Rooster grace the piano with the opening of "Great Balls of Fire" and to make matters worse, Ada was on his lap with his sunglasses on her head! Jake clenched his fists and slammed his beer on the bar. He tore through the crowd to head to the bathroom to puke... the sight of Rooster and Ada made him sick.

When Jake exited the washroom Rooster was no longer at the piano and he and Adaline where no where in sight. He scanned the room just in time to see his favorite pink dress slip out the back door.

"No fucking way." He growled. There was no way Jake was about to stay in this bar while Rooster was fucking Adaline out back. He could pretend that the times he had seen them at her house that nothing was going on, but slipping out back this early in the night... even Hangman couldn't make up a excuse for that.

Jake pushed through the crowd, not bothering to say a word as he ran into people. He was breathing heavy, his jaw was tight, he was on a mission. He pushed his way outside and that's when he heard it.

"Oh right there baby!" The familiar moan that he had once coaxed from Adaline was now being draw out of her by someone else. "Oh baby... you have any idea what this dress was doing to me in there? Wanted to take you right on that piano bench in front of everyone. You're such a bad girl, wearing this dress and no panties... just couldn't wait till we got home could you?" Rooster asked.

Hangman couldn't see them because they were being a storage shed but he knew what was going on. He balled his hands up into fists and charged around to corner ready to rip Roosters head off.

He rounded the corner and was stunned at the sight before him there as Adaline... his Adaline with her legs wrapped around Rooster while he assaulted her neck. Her eyes were closed but snapped open when she heard the disturbance.

"Jake what the hell are you doing out here?" She screamed at him both out of anger and fear. Rooster set Adaline down. Before he could say anything to his fellow pilot, Jake jerked him away from Ada and back handed him across the face. "What the FUCK Bradshaw?" He screamed. "How could you. You could fuck any other girl out her but you have to sleep with MY GIRL? Jake strained his voice already becoming hoarse. "That is so messed up man. Do you even care about her, or are you just using her to get back at me you son of a bitch?" Jake grabbed Rooster by the collar of his stupid Hawiian shirt.

He was just about to break Roosters nose when Ada called out. "Jacob stop!" Hangman froze at the use of his whole first name. He glanced over at Ada. She was visibly upset with tears in her eyes. "You have no right to do this! You aren't my boyfriend... hell you never were! I'm not your girl Jake, we were fucking that's all because you didn't want more. It's not my fault that Rooster knows what he wants and isn't afraid to go after it. So could you please let my boyfriend go and get your ass out of here!" Ada yelled at him.

Jake looked between Adaline and Rooster. He wasn't sure what had come over him. He let Rooster go and mumbled a "Sorry." As he headed to his car.

Hangman climbed into his truck and drove away.

He needed to be somewhere where he could be alone. He pulled into the abandoned beach parking lot, and for the first time in his like Jacob Thomas Seresin did something he swore he would never do because of a woman... he cried.

Tag List: @shanimallina87 @marvelsvalhalla

[laf-outloud]

I'll forgive you this once for using Monica as a source, lol!

Hahah I CRINGED so hard doing that... sorry! I just saw her tweet with the vid clip first and didn't have time to search for a different source.

The Creation conventions put a lot of focus on panels so that one could be really hard to manage, and if they have to cancel or shorten some conventions, that's going to require some sacrifices. Conventions like Fanx, where it's mostly signings and photo-ops might be okay (I hope!)

Yea, sorry I didn't specify but I was mostly talking about CE cons. There was mention that signing things might be ok but like you mentioned, CE puts a LOT of focus on panels and you can't control fan questions. They might have to do rigorous pre-screening for Q's or all the guests are going to have to say they can't answer things etc. (if they do them at all during the strike).

Either way, strikes are meant to be disruptive for a reason, and if some sacrifices now can help support the actors (particularly those living paycheck to paycheck) in the long run, then it will be worth it.

Absolutely 110% agree!

I honestly don't even like con weekends because its always sooooo much drama, I mostly was asking because CE cons especially feel like they're going to be reallllll thin ice to not break the strike.

Yeah, Creation is going to be in a tough position. It looks like they have a Vampire Diaries/Originals convention starting tomorrow so it's a great opportunity to see what happens (if anyone reading this follows those conventions).

As for the actors, some of them have side-hobbies they could talk about, Kim's goats, Jensen's brewery and music, Jared's AKF campaign/Mantra, etc., but it's not just the panels, M&G's would also have to be carefully curated, and what about the vendor room? Something else to consider... can people not part of the union sell studio-related material? If they can, would individual vendors have to make considerations for how they want to support the actors? It's all very fascinating.

(Funny side note: I saw on Twitter that none of the usual videographers were attending Charlotte and they were looking for someone to film. That may not be an issue any more. LOL!)

Anyway, it looks like CE has three more conventions in August and three in September. Now, I know we're anticipating the SAG-AFTRA strike to drag on much like the writer's strike, but I have a feeling the studios have more incentive to get the actors back to work than they do the writers so they may come to the negotiation table sooner. The last actor's strike in 1980 lasted just over 3 months. The last time actor's and writer's were both on strike at the same time (in 1960), the writer's strike lasted 148 days while the actor's strike only lasted about six weeks. I guess we'll see how long the studios can hold out without their bread and butter.

[semi-sketchy]

Have you seen the PAW Patrol movies? If you haven't, I think that you'd like them (since you like backstories).

Yes indeed! I have seen both.

I already spoke about them on my DA, here and here, but I'll copy-paste it in this post for convenience. Maybe in the future when I see the films again I'll write more about them, especially seeing as I mostly talked about my OCs in relation to the first movie rather than the movie itself.

---------------

Spoilers for the entire [first] movie ahead! If you have not seen it/wanna go in blind, DO NOT READ PAST THIS POINT

The movie was amazing, I've already seen it 3 times. A nice climax and honestly Humdinger being so cringe almost works in the favor of the film. He's essentially a diet Trump, because racism in a kids movie is a no-no. The hat jokes though? Mm, could've done without, they weren't really funny. What was funny was the elevator shaft scene. From Ryder using Humdinger as a ladder, completely disregarding all elevator safety mechanisms to drop the shaft as fast as possible, to the cats when they reached the bottom. Absolutely amazing facial expression.

I'll admit, I've been thinking about how my OCs would've been in the movie for days now, so I'll just stick all that here. Nami would be so good in that environment. She was a street kid and grew up in a small city, so this type of place would be like second nature to her, hence one reason I think her and Liberty would go together like peas and carrots. The two would be an unstoppable amount of sass and thrills, no one could keep up. Their banter would be classic. With the missions, her quick movements but impulsive nature would really help in the rescues. At the end with that giant storm, you bet she would've immediately taken charge. I can see her using her hydraulic arm to move debris and push open doors, and her hook shots to keep from getting blown away or swing around to grab someone. At the end where Humdinger is running, you bet she would be chasing him. Don't doubt corgis, they're fast. She would totally catch up.

Tara would probably do okay in the city, her specialty wouldn't really be catered to, but neither was Zuma's and he was still useful. She might help Marshall put out the fires and use her grappling hook to grab things in the storm. I mostly see her using her large build to their advantage, for instance holding the doors closed in the wind. She'd probably like Liberty alright, but no one can replace Byte as her closest friend.

Byte...would have issues. He's claustrophobic and I imagine sometimes it would get to be a little much for him. He'd be able to stop, take a breath and work through it, but you can bet he would not sleep in one of those hexagonal cubbies like the other pups. He'd take the floor, thank you very much. He'd be worried about Chase though. I already knew the two were good friends, but the movie really cemented it for me. They share a very similar pain; both being left behind and alone. He'd be trying his best to look out for him, I can only imagine Byte hearing his angsty scream and seeing the jump just to go "oh no". Also, the wind? He'd be an absolute puff ball by the end. Boy might need the knots shaved out. With the trauma though, Byte is more in control of his emotions. He's usually the calmer, voice of reason. His heart aches for Chase, knowing exactly how that feels, but ultimately you can't help someone who doesn't want it. If they're not ready to get better or admit there is a problem, you can't do anything. 

---------------

Well, I finally saw The Mighty Movie.

Despite my disinterest in Mighty Pups as a whole, this movie was another surprisingly good one. We got Skye's origin story and the powers were handled shockingly well. They reworked a lot of them, so like Zuma can turn INTO water now (I might've squealed seeing him pop up out of the sink) and Rocky can basically become a magnet, which is just so much more useful. (Also they 100% gave the villain Byte's super powers lol)

That's another thing: it balances the use of the pups better than the first movie. Like everyone actually HAS something to do. Will say, the Junior Patrollers were hyped so much in marketing, I thought they'd be super annoying, but they're not actually in the movie that much. Again, a good balance.

Gonna go into some general spoilers now.

Complaint: yeah Ryder is...mm. Kinda a dick. Everyone grieving their headquarters being destroyed, losing all their vehicles and tools, when Ryder just HAD new ones sitting on the Sea Patroller (oh yeah that shows up). "We have to end this program where kids hang out at our place because it's become too dangerous" buddy. Please tell me how them staying with Liberty while y'all run out on missions puts them in danger. Explain. "Oh you can't go on a mission without super powers" bro did you forget what you were doing last week?

He acts like Skye is totally useless after she loses her crystal and like...her tools have been destroyed, but she can still fly her vehicle. So she can't fly on her own anymore, but if it's that huge of a deal, maybe just borrow Liberty's crystal since you don't even know what her power is? Oh yeah they also spend half the movie being like "what's Liberty do" and...I love my girl but that's a mood.

And, this is a general bother, but like cockapoos are not teeny tiny dogs. They act like Skye is smaller than Liberty and...honey dachshunds aren't even a foot tall. The only way she could be the same size as Liberty is if she was a teacup cockapoo. Not a big deal, I suppose, just I always assumed she was a standard, or at least a mini because it's not like the rest of the members are THAT much bigger.

The overall storyline is about how Skye feels like she needs to compensate for her size and the super powers make her feel like the strong one for the first time in her life. Ryder just telling her she can't help get her crystal back because she doesn't have powers completely cements this need to prove herself because Ryder doesn't even believe her capable without powers. (seriously. Ryder why were you mean. Why did you cause the plot of the movie.) Although, I do have to say it was cute how they decided to make Chase the one that offers her some comfort and sees if she's okay.

Plus, Skye got her really big moment to prove herself. It wasn't ever that she doubted her ability, it's that she didn't think anyone else saw it. She's a bit of a daredevil and I think they handled her need to be validated well.

The movie was enjoyable! There were good stakes and while Skye messed up, you can completely understand why she did it (because Ryder was being a total ass). I like what they're doing with expanding the backstories of these pups individually. If they make another movie, I'd be interested to see what deep-seated trauma they give the next pup.

[arom-com]

hi hope this is ok but i've seen sooo many of ur posts tagged as renbrand and i am ... perhaps .... a little curious .... would u like to tell me abt them !!!! 👀👀 (its ok if not ofc)

Ofc!! I sure have been tagging them a lot huh

The short version is that they’re my unhinged lesbian ocs stuck in a murder timeloop

Longer version is this:

(I am not going to be able to explain this in any way approaching coherent) (but I will try!!) (sorry in advance for the Wall of Text)

So RenBrand stands for these two:

Ren Hayashi (23, she/they) university student studying criminal psychology, abandonment issues out the wazoo, Going Through It

Brand Reitveld (26, she/her) local gang leader, Control Issues TM, definitely the cat in whatever cat-and-mouse thing they have going on

They’re in love — it’s not even remotely healthy.

Basically, through no fault of their own, they got stuck in a long-form time loop (days/months rather than strict 24h) that resets whenever one of them dies, which wouldn’t be too much of an issue? Except a) they’ve never met and don’t know they’re stuck together, and b) Ren keeps getting fucking murdered

Bc!! Ren’s psychology prof is running a secret cult (trying to turn his crim psy students into serial killers, it’s a whole thing, very cringe of him) so she gets killed for accidentally getting in the way a couple times (she doesn’t know about the cult), and then ofc starts investigating, which only makes it worse (I feel so bad for her but it’s also really funny, saddest most pathetic sopping wet oc I’ve ever created)

(Some of Ren’s deaths are also caused by Brand who’s like listen I don’t have a grudge against you or anything but you do keep getting my people killed so I have to eliminate the threat, no hard feelings! And Ren is like I am in abject misery)

(strangers to enemies to lovers except the strangers to enemies is a speedrun and the enemies to lovers is a slow burn)

The story they’re from is sort of a dark mystery-slash-romance (think nbc hannibal meets groundhog day, which is certainly a sentence), and it’s mainly centred around Ren and her corruption arc as she goes from “tired student just trying to finish her dissertation if it kills her” to “codependent mob-wife who kills first and asks questions later”

I’m obsessed with time as a narrative device, and especially time loops, because it can be used in such interesting ways!! And the interesting part about time loops to me is that they’re like,,,,, rube goldberg machines for character development? You only stick a character in a time loop when you need them to undergo a pretty drastic change without a proper catalyst, and it forces them to wear themselves down to their bones, to find the very essence of what they are, and then build themselves back up again into their ideal and purest form of self. (Of course, some people just use them as a tool for romance, but that’s boring!! Boo)

Usually time loops exist to make a character better, because they’re given some kind of epiphany that makes them the best and kindest version of themselves. (Alternatively, they can be used as the cosmic equivalent of a washing machine spin cycle if you’re writing horror) But what interests Me is the idea of using a time loop to make a character worse, which is what I’m doing to Ren (and to a lesser extent, Brand)

And it’s not just corruption for corruption’s sake, either! Ren, as she is, is miserable — she’s completely isolated, unable to achieve any of her goals, and ultimately ends up getting killed in an impersonal way for impersonal reasons — but once the loop begins and she gets her second chance, she starts to wear away at all her self-imposed barriers and boundaries until she can start making her own decisions and being an active agent in her own life. Of course, she’s not choosing to do good, but the best version of herself is not necessarily Good or Kind, it’s just Authentic.

Brand, on the other hand — because she has more support and isn’t as repressed — is experiencing the time loop less as a vehicle for character development, and more as a perpetual time travel fix-it (which is SO fun, having two characters get wildly different outcomes from the same experience). Her problems are more interpersonal rather than internal, so where Ren is using the extra time to understand herself, Brand uses it to understand the world around her (and is thus doing a much better job at actually solving the plot, we love a girlboss).

Brand’s conflicts are with her brother (who I can’t even Begin to explain without adding another thousand words to this post), and (as the leader of the local gang) with the police & the murder cult, which means that a lot of her loops are spent information-gathering (and murdering, dw abt it)

Personality-wise Ren is pretty quiet, she doesn’t like to ask for things which means she gets into miscommunications a lot (people not helping when she wishes they would, people helping when she doesn’t need it bc they think she just doesn’t want to ask), she’s a very “the only one you can rely on is yourself” kind of person, which isn’t exactly ideal for someone you’re stuck in a time loop with but at least it means she never gives up? She also doesn’t really care what people think of her — or rather, she does care, but she doesn’t let it stop her

Brand is suffering from a lethal combination of being the youngest sibling and simultaneously the eldest daughter, so she’s great at asking for help and using her resources but it means that she a) is a little entitled about it, and b) needs to feel like she has perfect control over everything or she’ll die. She’s very possessive and protective over things that she considers hers (hence murdering Ren for getting her people killed, it’s fine they get over it)

Renbrand also come equipped with two sets of narrative foils (Brand’s disabled ex-ballet dancer brother and his bodyguard/love interest, and the cult leader professor and his prized pupil who both hates and loves him for what he’s become) but the word count on this is already obscenely, embarrassingly long so I’ll talk abt them another day maybe

[seaweedbraens]

This is in part a response to the 3/10 reviewer.

Adaptations obviously cannot have every single thing perfect to the book, just time wise it's impossible. But I think this series was made with a lot of love by everyone involved and it shows. Every interview I've seen and the show itself make it clear it's also important to them, and they want to make a good version.

A lot of issues that I read I think can be solved with having more of the story. Like, his mom has given him blue candy, explanation might come later, like in the talks the trio has during the quest. Or the council of the cloven elders doesn't even appear in the books until the Battle of the Labryinth. We don't need an explanation yet. Without knowledge of the books I would assume oh the visually important nature ppl are the ppl in charge of the satyrs. Which like.. yeah good enough for now. And it gives Grover more depth from the start. And there are hints of Luke's bitterness, such as "They like the smell of begging" when they go for offerings. We also haven't even left camp yet, there's time to develop that.

Luke's emphasis on glory was more about from other campers, I took it as a hint of Luke's desire to feel powerful. Luke also clearly values glory in the books as well - he failed to attain glory by completing his quest and it eats at him. Two, the addition makes sense if you're familiar with the Iliad, glory is heavily emphasized and a complex theme throughout, but I will not be digging out any college essays lol. I think it's definitely something that is going to be developed as a theme throughout.

Luke is a supportive counselor in the book. He's literally the head counselor in charge of shepherding the kids once they get there and likely spend their first night in the Hermes cabin. Plus in Ch. 7, he talks to Percy about being new and warns Percy not to take the offerings lightly, in Ch. 8 trains him on the sword, saying "No laughing at Percy" during the demo, and is thrilled when Percy disarms him.

A word about Gabe, we see Gabe for 9 pages in the beginning of the book. He harasses Percy, demands food from Sally, and is grumpy about them using the car. I was at first bothered by Gabe looking just kinda like a couch potato, but it was pointed out to me that abusers don't just all wear wife beaters and are streaked with grime. In the show he answers, Sally's phone, a controlling behavior. He harasses Percy when he gets in the door, and is almost pleased that Percy got kicked out for assault, a violent behavior. I'm still interested with how they are going to bring in the "Smelly Gabe" covering Percy's scent (which I always was a bit confused how that worked really well if Percy was at boarding school 90% of the time.) And I'm wondering how they are going to make him be deemed worthy of being murdered with Medusa's head by the audience. He appears on the news telling lies about Percy throughout the book and Percy doesn't realize that Sally has been hit before by Gabe until the end of the book. So, those are more ways to bring that in.

While I watched it, it didn't feel very rushed, but that might be because I had context from the books. Looking back it's a fast, but I'd rather have a longer time questing, and that's a trade-off. It's just unfortunate that even an established property can't get a longer run time.

One of my biggest worries was that the fighting would be cringe but I think they pulled it off Really well. It's visually great, and while I have my personal vision of CHB that didn't stop me from loving the show's version. It's also funny! I laughed out loud multiple times. There's tons of little details you get to hunt for from the book. The actors make you believe they are the characters. I've been living with versions in my head for over 15 years and I fully accept these guys as the trio. An open mind and ability to allow multiple versions to live in your head are definitely key to enjoying it as a long time fan.

I'm doing my best to avoid ppls garbage opinions, especially people new to the fandom, but I've seen enough lousy opinions from people who have been in the fandom forever to think it's a problem only in new ppl. Twitter has just been a lot of great edits and memes which is super fun.

Sorry for the length, that I got the book out, and that this was way too in depth for what you originally asked.

sorry for getting to this a little late! personally, i feel like i can't comment on the show yet, since i haven't watched it, but everyone's entitled to their own opinion as long as we're all being respectful here, as you're being. i hope 3/10 anon sees your version of things, and i'm glad you enjoyed the show!