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irasamu · 5 months

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. . . (🍷) ֶָ֢ 𔓘 LURE ME IN, PULL ME OUT. SAVE ME ; a osamu dazai fic. ❞

❛ ━━ ･ ❪ did i not die yet?

my heart beats and pumps,

pumps the blood which flows throughout,

though tonight i throw up this blood.

blood coats my hand red,

if i had died, why would i bled?

fleeting through my fingers,

fingers of mine tries to grasp my life,

life which i tried to grasp all this while!

blood coats the floor red,

and red it became the more i bleed.

fleeting is this life though my heart beats,

i am not dead yet, though i bleed.

soon my fate will meet death.

and i will die, won't i? ❫ ･ ━━ ❜

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . i don't really expect this one to be liked as this is an experimental fic anyway but I still want to know your opinion on it if you read it.

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . tw ; pm!dazai, fem!reader, non established relationship, suggestive themes, kissing, fluff (?), angst, somewhat gore.

the weather hasn't really been the most pleasant since the last three or four hours but you assume it to be normal due to the season it came with.

with a hazy gaze, you stare at the dark grey sky outside as you wait for the first reaction to happen, for the first drop of rain to descend from its grace and onto the hard earth ground.

was this what icarus felt too?

but then again icarus wasn't a teenager in love with a boy who looked at love as not feelings and emotions but rather as chemical reactions and hormones stimulated by the brain.

icarus burned. you do too. perhaps not in the same way but you burn too.

"are you waiting for cats too dear?" a voice so gentle yet tired spoke up and you looked up to see an elderly woman smiling kindly at you. your eyes fell down to see a group of stray cats and you pondered.

her voice felt so warm admist the coldness of the weather that clinged to your skin.

you looked back up at the old woman and nodded, smiling a bit. "yeah. a grumpy one."

the old lady laughed at your words and she approached you, sitting down on the steps of your house next to you and the stray cats followed her. there were five in total, you counted as they surrounded the old lady's feet.

one of the five cats pawed at your leg. you looked down at it and extended your hand to pet it's head before you looked up at the sky again in deep thought.

"so when does your grumpy cat come?" the old lady's voice reached your ears, her words were pure but why did it still feel like she was laughing at you?

mocking you for being so hopeless.

"whenever he wants to." you whisper out. if the old lady wasn't sitting next to you, she wouldn't have heard you. your words were too sad to her though ignorance is bliss. the old lady thought nothing much of your words as she laughed.

"dearie, that's cats for you -- especially stray ones. they come and go. not having a proper house. no owner who showers them with love and so when we give them love, they get confused. they feel weird and dislike it. they leave. and when they are away -- they realize. they want it back. and so these cute furballs come back to get confused again." her words held years of experience. they soothed you and gave you a reason behind the behavior that hurts, effortlessly brightening your mood. it almost felt unnatural how easily her words convinced you and settled within you as if she's luring you in her.

you smiled at the old lady albeit weakly but your lips were tugged upwards by genuine gratitude and hope as you smiled at her, filled with fascination towards her.

"though love is like kummatty or the pied piper of hamelin. it lures you in even when you know it's dangerous. so dearie --" the old lady's voice suddenly dropped down a few octaves as a grave expression took over her old and wrinkled features. you would've have found it a bit unsettling had it not been for the cat at your feet that had your undivided attention. " -- be careful while loving, it'll lure you in one day and . . . even if it isn't love, something else will lure you in."

you felt the old lady shifting next to you before she stood up, causing you to twist your neck to look up at her. the old woman smiled at you kindly and slowly -- as safely as her feeble legs would allow her to -- climbed down the stairs and left. she went on along the sidewalk, though you raised your eyebrows in awe as you saw the five cats following behind her, stumbling and falling over each other. the cats looked like young apprentices following their mentor in olden days where as soon as a kid was old enough to realise how poverty took a liking to his home, he was send off to fend for himself and to bring in some earnings.

you looked at the front again, placing your chin on your knees which were brought near to your chest as you looked up at the sky again, the grey clouds began to clear up a bit though it still looked like it'll rain soon.

the cold breeze made you shiver a bit. though not for long.

you look away from the sky, no longer finding it intresting enough to admire as the images of the cats -- especially the one rubbing itself against your leg -- kept repeating in your mind, making you smile.

how does one get lured?

how does one forget everything and decide to follow a particular path?

"what are you doing outside dumbass?" you hear the cold and void of emotion like voice, causing you to look up to see dazai standing there as he looked down at you with his eyebrows raised, trying to decipher the reason to sit outside during such weather as it's definitely an odd choice.

"waiting for yo --" you stop rather abruptly as you look at him from head to toe to see him covered in blood at many places -- his cheek was stained and so was his white shirt though the black coat hid it well. you looked down and alas so were his boots, stained in blood.

with a panicked urgency, you quickly stood up and grabbed his hand though this time he didn't try to subtly pull it back as he let you step closer to him and leaned in when you placed your palm on his bloodied cheek.

"how did you --"

" -- it's not mine. don't overreact." the mafioso said in a bored tone as he stared at you. he looked at you for a while before he slowly grinned and you wanted to take a step back and shrink into nothingness. that would be better then staring at his cold and empty eyes.

dazai extended his hand to grasp your other wrist, not seeming to mind your sudden stiffness. he had seen this reaction one too many times when curious minds tried to pick apart the mask of the demon but failed, finding the mask glued to the face by some super force.

he tugged at your hand to pull you closer and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into a hug.

dazai osamu is still a child. he does not act like it. but he is the same as you. a teenager. not even seventeen yet.

he is a child at core like you are and even if it may not seem like it, you'll pretend it does.

"you stink." you mumble as you ignore the nervous pleading of your heart, nuzzling your face against his bandaged neck.

"no i don't." dazai replied back as he left a small and quick peck to your hair before he moved back.

you roll your eyes at his denial of this topic, knowing that even he knows how he smells of a mix of cigarettes and blood, the smell lingers and hugs him like a sick stalker.

"why do you even have blood on you?" you asked as you quickly opened the door to your house and stepped aside to let him enter first. with a smug wink aimed at you, dazai entered and took of his shoes.

for being such a peculiar boy, he did have some manners as evident by the way he placed his shoes at one corner. you placed your slippers next to his and locked the door before you followed after him.

"curious kitty. aren't you?" his voice is full of mirth, he looked over his shoulder to let you see his expression which is full of amusement as if he finds it entertaining to watch you try to get some kind of information out of him.

you grumbled as you pushed his shoulder though he only chuckled, not minding the pushes at all.

dazai tried to walk towards the living room but you grabbed the back of his suit coat to pull him towards your room instead and he exclaimed in surprise, though he didn't resist or fight back, simply letting you drag him as if he didn't have enough energy or interest in pushing your hands off.

you led him to the bathroom attached in your room, dazai nearly raised his eyebrows in amusement but stopped himself since he wasn't really amused enough. this house in which only you live isn't surprising to dazai as through his connections, he had dug into your background and found out that this house and some wealth were the will of your grandfather who left it all to you. your parents were out of the picture.

"but really, why are you covered in this much blood?" you ask as you signal him to sit on the sink counter while you kneel down to open the cabinet below, getting out a few clean towel rolls and bandages.

though the bandage roll fell from your hands and rolled on the tiled floor when dazai grabbed your jaw in a quick movement, pulling you towards him as he glared at you. eyes void of emotions but that only makes him more terrifying.

"you are a good girl -- always were and always will be. don't test your luck by being a curious kitten. stay my good girl. don't ask unnecessary questions." his voice is low and calm, his words coming out in a murmur.

your eyes were open wide, you nodded quickly. the sharpness in dazai's eyes disappeared and was replaced by a sudden softness. he stopped grabbing your jaw and instead raised his hand to cup your cheek. he pulled you in closer using the gentle hold on your cheek and pecked the bridge of your nose.

once he lets go of you, you stepped back, bending down to pick the the bandage roll which you began to buy and keep ever since meeting him.

you stand again as you face him, not looking him in the eye after the sudden cold outburst while the confident and casual air around you had disappeared. and this caused dazai to heave out a sigh.

"what i did -- i did for you." he revealed only this much as if to just let you see the tip of the iceberg, to let you know of the peace lingering above the calmness.

you placed your hand on his thigh as you leaned up to gently pull on the bandage which covered one of his eyes, whispering, "why?"

dazai stopped as you tugged at the bandage and it fell down in your opened palm. he too wonders why is he even doing this?

you are of no use to the mafia.

you don't give him the same reactions as chuuya does.

yet you are still intresting.

is it the feeling of your soft palms as you cup his cheek with one hand while you softly rub the wet towel on his face with the other to clean it? could be.

dazai wrapped his legs around your waist to pull you closer, you felt your heart beating as he cupped both of your cheeks and pulled you to peck your forehead. "i just do."

you wanted to ask many things but refrain from doing so, choosing to enjoy the feeling of his hands as one of them remained cupping your jaw while the other rested near your ass, on your lower back, to keep you in place as you wrap a new bandage around his eye.

to be honest, dazai knew. he knew why he did what he did and does what he does, it's just that he doesn't see the need to tell you the answer which is being yelled by his heart and seeing how you relaxed again and lost some of your initial fear, dazai feels -- no, he knows, that you either know or have a good grasp of what most of his answer could've been anyway.

"you are weird." you decide to sigh out these words with a smile, moving your face back from his grasp as you pull down at his coat and he lets you, letting you take it off.

is the rush of happiness what icarus felt too? perhaps if icarus didn't dream too high, he would be lured into the deep forests as well.

dazai watched with curious eyes. you stepped out of the bathroom for a while, a matching set of grey sweatshirt and sweatpants. the sight makes dazai to raise his eyebrows, a silent order for you to explain.

"you need some colors in your life and wardrobe. you look so edgy wearing that." you point at his suit and dazai almost rolled his eyes, had the thought of you going out of your way to buy something for someone like him had not entered his mind and settled there.

from there on, the thought grew vines which traveled and gripped at his heart.

"did you buy this for me? you want to be my sugar mommy or something?" dazai smirked yet squealed as you stepped near him, grabbing a handful of his skin and pinching him on his thigh. you don't speak much, the words of the old lady repeating in your mind while you unbutton his shirt and scrub at his hands to get the blood off of him.

the way you look so quiet as you seemed to stare at nothing while cleaning the blood made dazai hesitate to break this silence. he looked at you and he felt his heart beat racing when he saw the hazy look in your eyes. behind you, the sky once again grew hazy and dazai glared at the window behind you. yet you didn't notice anything it seemed, too busy in unbuttoning dazai's shirt button by button.

the cat who sat outside at the windowsill snarled in return.

"you are my kitten." dazai began quietly and you looked up at him with puzzlement dancing all over your features. a confused smile takes over your lips and dazai leans near you, you feel your heartbeat racing as he leans his head till his lips hovered above your's. "you are mine and i'll protect you against everything."

dazai closed the distance between you and him, his hand came to hold your waist and pull you towards him. you closed your eyes as you let your feelings overtake you, wrapping your arms around the neck of the boy who still sat on the sink counter.

his eyes remained open, a blue light eliminated from his palm -- of the hand that was wrapped around your waist -- felt like the first drop of rain of despair for the cat whose fur raised and it glared at dazai.

"you don't need to know what i do and why i do it. just stay as you are now." dazai whispered as soon as he pulled back from the kiss, he hopped down from the counter and removed his unbuttoned shirt. he tossed it on your face, not paying heed to the way you groaned.

"stay as i am now? what's that supposed to mean cryptic bastard?" you ask as you slowly walked behind him, stopping as he sits in the bathtub and his feet nearly dangled off the small bathtub. dazai shooted a finger gun at you which made you scoff while you reached for the water faucet, he isn't going to answer, is he?

the cat blinked, like a stalker it's eyes remained even when dazai leaned up and grabbed your forearm to pull you on top of him. your squeals and his laughs were like poison to the cat. the same cat who affectionately rubbed itself against your leg in the morning is the same cat who now watched with great disgust.

icarus flew. if he didn't, he would've drowned.

the pied piper would've lured him in with masks of interests in his dreams. or perhaps kummatty would've made him think to never stop believing in his dreams, he would've have turned him into a bird and icarus would've flew away and never returned.

"stay as you are -- meaning stay as my little kitty cat. can you meow or purr for me?" dazai raised his eyebrows, it always brought him entertaining joy to see your reactions and even if they aren't as loud or amusing as chuuya's, the way you purse your lips and look away after replying with something snarky always stayed at the back of dazai's mind. it repeated whenever he smoked in the loneliness of the shipping container he calls his shelter.

you know better then to take this moment for granted. you look back at dazai and smile tiredly, resting your head against his shoulder as you wrap your arms around his waist and do not mind the flowing water soak your clothes and make you wet for you feel yourself nearly giggling at the way your legs are on either sides of dazai's waist and his hands wrapped around you. when you leaned your body on him, his arms around you tightened their hold.

he raised one of his hands to pat and comb through your hair while he smirked, tilting his head at the cat. said cat snarled at him again before it hopped down your windowsill and left.

the cat walked for a while before it jumped into a drain and immediately found itself sitting on the lap of the old woman who hummed. the old woman moved back and forth on her rocking chair, humming a tune which enchanted many and it was evident by the way children sat by her feet and mimicked her motions of rocking back and forth. their lips sealed tight by threads being sewed yet they tried to hum along with the old woman, causing blood to flow down their chins yet they didn't mind as theu stared at the old lady with unnaturally wide eyes.

the old lady stopped humming and immediately the children stabbed their fingers into their eyes, blood oozing out as they curled their fingers into their eyeballs.

"you are so so cute. my belladon--" you make dazai to stop speaking, making him go speechless when you splashed a bit of water onto him after having enough of his cheesy flirting though it did get your heart to beat faster but the young age you are is one where intimate feelings such as this makes you cower and feel like hiding behind the exterior of pretend coolness. it's a defense mechanism of sorts but dazai has always broken through every defense so what is yours infront of him?

your smug grin disappeared as you saw him cough without intending to stop soon. you leaned closer to his face as you tried to grasp at the curves of his jaws so you would be able to have a better view of his face and check for any damage you may have caused yet the moment your fingers grasp his jaw, dazai grabbed both of your wrists as he leaned forwards to kiss you again. and you let him. his arms came to wrap around you again.

and once again you missed the blue glow they emitted as all you could focus on was the gentle way dazai's hands inched closer to you till one of them rested at your nape and the other at your hip while he left little pecks and kisses on your lips, not pulling or letting you pull back once.

the pied piper or kummatty may just be figures associated with children and to scare them by exaggerating (though is it a exaggeration?) abduction but the old lady you met -- the one who is currently smiling cruelly as she watches children pull out their eyeballs and see the optic nerve -- is one who will try to lure you in and dazai won't let it.

it isn't related to the mafia, the child abducting old lady isn't a concern of port mafia and neither is she a danger to dazai's life. his nullifying ability will act if she ever tries to activate her ability on him which works by the contact of her or her cats with the victim.

though you do not need to know of this or even worry as dazai will make sure you don't end up in the old lady's grasp and don't suffer the same fate as many of her previous victims. he always was a bit more protective and possessive when it came to you anyway.

after all, he is a good boy --- an angel.

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sarabethsilver · 2 months

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Jess and Rory were bound to fall apart in S3. They were two teenagers living in a crazy town that put ALL kinds of pressure on them, they were headed down very different paths, and Jess wasn't ready for a relationship at that point. They had to go their separate ways for a bit.

But what really makes them tragic? Is that all of the adults - and eventually Jess and Rory themselves - come to understand their relationship's demise as entirely Jess' fault. And this narrative is really bad for both of them.

We all know Jess' mistakes in this relationship. The show makes a point to blow them up and examine them thoroughly, often with multiple characters chiming in to talk about how terrible Jess is. A single missed phone call, concert tickets purchased for the wrong reason (??), a poorly-timed black eye, a fight with Dean, the fact he left town. All of these choices are discussed and framed as solely Jess' fault. Jess' behaviors get no context. It doesn't matter that he was working late, that Rory yelled at him throughout that dinner, that Dean threw the first punch, or that Luke kicked him out. S3 decidedly concludes with Rory, The Poor Victim and Jess, The Jerk Who Broke Her Heart. The show never re-examines this perspective.

But if you pause and examine Rory's choices throughout their relationship, she doesn't look that good. Their relationship starts with a lie: Rory kissing him, demanding he keep it secret, and then ghosting him for two months. She's really angry with him when she returns, having sincerely expected him to wait around for her while she continued to date Dean. She withdraws her friendship while Jess dates Shane. She yells at him in the street, joining the chorus of townsfolk who publicly dislike him. She eggs his car and mocks him about it. She runs away from their first real kiss with zero explanation. She scolds him for kissing her in public, prioritizing Dean's feelings over her boyfriend's. She lies about Dean repeatedly. She gives him the silent treatment after a single missed phone call. She tricks him into attending dinner with her grandma, then yells at him the whole time. She spends the entirety of Kyle's party mocking Jess while ignoring his increasingly desperate pleas to leave.

Does any of this make Rory a terrible person? No. She's a teenager, and she was in a really complicated, no-win situation concocted by her mother and a slew of Stars Hollow adults who are far too obsessed with the love lives of teenagers. Rory's a people-pleaser and she was desperate to spare everyone's feelings, unable to accept that by nature of this situation: somebody was gonna get hurt no matter what. But in trying to protect everyone, she ended up hurting Jess the most. She doesn't trust him, she doesn't prioritize his feelings, and she doesn't communicate with him. She ultimately follows along with the town narrative that Jess Ruined Everything.

The really sad thing is that this narrative is bad for both of them. Jess ends up feeling like the world's biggest failure, fleeing town without a word and ending up totally alone. Rory ends up feeling like a helpless victim, utterly lacking agency in her own relationships. She is told, over and over again, that her relationship problems were not her fault. That it's normal to sit back, make no effort, and expect to be treated like a princess by a guy who has to read her mind and do absolutely all the work. You can draw a straight line from Rory being Blameless in the Jess breakup, and Rory having an affair with her married ex a year later.

What I would give for an effort to re-examine their relationship toward the end of the series! It would have been good for both of them to understand that they were both kids, they both made mistakes, but they both tried their best. There were no villains here. Just two flawed humans who cared about each other and tried to have a relationship before they were truly ready.

#lorelai and luke destroyed this relationship #and i will die on this hill #which is not to say that jess and rory could have made it work in high school #but they were never given the chance to navigate the relationship on their own terms #gilmore girls meta #i'm rambling again #jess mariano #rory gilmore #literati

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bonny-kookoo · 7 months

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Jungkook

+1 Chance | Short/Oneshot

In which some people get an extra life.

Tags/Warnings: pro Esports!Kook, Teenage crushes to ???, SFW, Short, Open ending, all around fluffy

Length: 2.2k Words

A/N: Yes I'm still writing on existing stuff dw. Just a random valentines day drabble. Not proofread.

—--——--——--——--——--🩷--——--——--——--——--—

You met Jungkook in summer, many years ago, when the sun was hot and your friends turned out to be nothing but situationships.

You’d been seeing the hints of their friendship not being of honest nature for a while now- but as a young girl barely about to graduate a year later, you didn’t want to be alone during your allegedly best years of your life. So you ignored the warnings one after another, always found excuses as to why their behavior was totally justifiable and normal, even if deep down you knew that you were just trying to convince yourself of that.

And then, you met him- a guy showing you honest kindness for nothing asked in return.

It was hot, sun burning, and you’d tried to get out the pool- but your small strawberry floaty had kept slipping from underneath you, making it hard to find the strength to get out of the large pool in your ‘friend’s’ backyard by yourself- when suddenly, a hand had grabbed the red item to keep it still, so you could properly hold onto it for a moment.

“Here- let me help.” He’d said, black nail polish chipped. And you’d taken on the help, too tired to really care about the fact that your friend had told you to just ignore her brother’s ‘weirdo friends’- him clearly being one of them. “Want me to help you get out? The sun is pretty hot right now, you should get out soon.” He had worried a little, and you'd nodded, pushing yourself up on the ledge after having let go of the floaty, finally having been able to escape the pool with his help, as he made sure you wouldn’t slip or end up back inside because of your strength leaving you.

You weren’t sure back then where your friends even were at that point. But somehow, it was like a moment of realization- a clear sign you couldn’t ignore any longer. “your uh.. friends went to watch a movie upstairs now, in Kate’s room..” he says, watching you sit down in the shade, drying yourself with a towel you brought.

“..thanks.” you’d mumbled. “I.. Probably should go home now.” You’d shrugged, feeling ashamed and embarrassed to ever having trusted these people at all. All they did was use your kindness and clear need for just someone to talk to and befriend- and you’d willingly accepted that, blinded by the glimpses of happiness they’d made you feel every now and then.

They knew how to manipulate you- keep you happy and clingy enough with occasional treats never given too often.

“I mean.. I can drive you. It’s late.” Jungkook had offered you. “But we’re also missing a fourth player for mario-cart right now, down in Kate’s brother’s room.” He’d jokingly told you- something that had given you hope.

“..but won’t it be weird?” You’d worried. “They don’t know me.”

“Well, everyone’s a stranger when you first meet them.” Jungkook had laughed, as he gave you a towel from close by, both of you having slowly walked back into the house. “I’m Jungkook. Just in case you didn’t know. “ He’d introduced himself, smiling like he’s the sun itself.

And little did you know that on that day, as you gave him your name, you both also set the foundation for much more than just a friendship.

—--——--——--——--——--🩷--——--——--——--——--—

“So you two have history?” Your friend asks, sitting across from you on your hotel room floor, both of you occupied with making sure your freshly applied nail polish dries well. You’re on a weekend trip for just the two of you, to take some time off the stressful life and to nourish your friendship a little.

“Not really.” You shrug. “I wouldn’t call it that. More so.. An awkward friendship when I was younger, before I moved away.” You answer, explaining your situation as to why Jeon Jungkook, one of the current top e-sports players had greeted you when you randomly ran into each other today in the hotel hallway.

“Oh, so he was the guy you had a crush on when you were younger?” She teases, never forgetting anything it seems like- not even a random confession during a childish game of never-have-I-ever. “I knew it. Damn, you were so close! Imagine your life if you’d bagged that guy.” She swoons, having made it known time and time again that she wouldn’t pass up any opportunity to ‘get her hands on those abs’ if she ever had the chance to do so. You know this is simply a joke, but still, her words do make you think.

How would your life have turned out if you got with him?

Would he have chosen to go against his parents’ advice to just keep his hobby as, well, a hobby, or would he have accepted their wishes to instead study something more steady, to earn a position in a stable company? You’ll never know- but despite that, its still interesting to just humor that idea for a moment.

“Hey, maybe there’s still tickets for the tournament!” Your friend chirps up, having noticed her nailpolish having dried by now, phone fetched and disconnected from the charger as she swipes and inputs her passcode to unlock it. “Or I’ll ask if we can have my brother’s tickets, since he didn’t go..” She mumbles, texting him most likely now.

“It’s.. I don’t know, we wanted to go out for dinner though.” You mumble, checking your polish for any imperfections. “You don’t even like gaming that much.” You also add, teasingly so. She rolls her eyes.

“Just cause I don’t play them, doesn’t mean I cant enjoy watching someone play them instead.” She argues. “Also, you can watch the game- I'll watch the pretty boy.” She winks, making you laugh with her, when she receives a text, phone falling out of her hand for a second before she can pick it up again. “Oh- he said we can have them!” She chirps up, clearly excited. “As far as I know they’re free seating- so if we’re early, we get to choose where we wanna sit and watch.” She explains, texting him some more while you contemplate.

This is dumb. He probably has a girlfriend, a life of his own, hell- you have a life of your own now, far away from him. There’s no reason for you to try and test your luck like this, but you’re also a fan of the game he’s competing at. So, maybe..

Yeah. You’re totally not doing it for him. You’re just going to watch the gameplay.

What’s the worst that can happen?

—--——--——--——--——--🩷--——--——--——--——--—

It’s not even the next day yet, but you already see him again.

On your way down to the reception desk, mission clear in your head to muster up the courage to ask for another pillow instead of sleeping uncomfortably like this, you’ve barely exited your room when your eyes meet again in the hallway.

He says your name. His voice has gotten deeper after all those years, you notice. You nod, and he smiles, the turn of the corner of his mouth pulling your attention to the twin piercing he has placed there, silver rings piercing right through his skin. “It’s been a while.” He offers, hands in the pockets of his pants. He must’ve been out with his teammates, smell of faint cigarette smoke clinging to him as you walk a bit closer.

You nod. You feel awkward, all dressed down like this, having gotten reader for bed hours before, trying to find sleep without the extra comfort another pillow would bring you. “how are you?” He asks, and again, you nod.

You hate this. You’re still terrible at talking to people. “I’m good.. and you?” You answer, avoiding eye contact. Of course he’s obviously doing good- great even, about to bag thousands of prize money tomorrow when he’ll surely win the tournament.

“Good. Great even, now that I.. anyways, do.. What’re you doing here?” He wonders, clearly happy to initiate smalltalk. “vacation or work?”

“vacation. With.. a friend of mine.” You tell him, toes digging onto the fluffy slippers you brought on this trip for yourself. “like.. a girl’s weekend.” You explain, and he nods.

“Yeah.. guess you gotta leave the men at home sometimes to unwind.” He jokes.

“hmhm. Well, she had to- I don’t, you know, have anyone, so I’m flexible.” You tell him, and that seems to make his eyes sparkle almost like you’ve challenged him. Which you didn’t- so why does he look so energized now.

“Cool! I mean.. yeah.” He nods to himself, before he seems to realize something. “Oh hey, if I interrupted you or I’m holding you in a conversation, don’t mind me! You look like you were on your way somewhere-“ he starts, pointing down the gall to the elevator. “But uh.. if you wanna go down, there’s a bunch of drunks down in the lobby, just a warning.” He offers, making you deflate.

“Oh.” You hum, defeated. Well, maybe you cal roll up your sweater or something.

“If you.. I can go with you, if you’d like.” He offers. "I’m still pretty fit. Still boxing. So.. I can be your meat-shield basically.” He jokes, making you giggle, his eyes brightening up at the sound and sight.

“I.. that would be nice, actually.” You accept, and he happily walks next to you into the elevator at that, faint music drowning our the heavy buzzing of the mechanics.

“so uh.. how’s your family?” He wonders. “is your dad still making your mom’s life harder every day?” He jokes, but you shake your head, smiling fondly.

“No, they surprisingly settled these days. They’re.. on a trip themselves. For valentines day and all.” You explain, and Jungkook nods.

“romantic.” He teases, and you giggle, nodding along.

“they.. ask about you a lot. It’s kind of funny.” You tell him. “I can only ever tell them what I see online though.” You shrug.

“You.. know what I do?” he wonders, and your eyes widen as you look at him.

“are you kidding me? You’re the top player at my favorite game.” You say, making his expression moron into one of both wonder- and slightly bashful.

“I uh.. didn’t know. Guess I’ll take that as a compliment.” He laughs it off. “I.. have a tournament actually, tomorrow.”

“I know.” You nod, elevator doors opening. “I’ll be there. With my friend.” You say.

“Oh wow.” He chuckles. “I better win, in that case.” He.. flirts? As he walks towards the reception desk with you- drunk group of friends luckily only being loud, but not aggressive. “where will you sit?”

“its.. free seating, so I’m not sure.” You mumble, before you ask the lady at the desk for another pillow for your room number.

“I could probably reserve some good seats.” He says, and you smile.

“You really don’t have to.” You reassure him, when he suddenly asks the lady for something else as well- a flower from the last bouquet left over from the hotel’s valentines sale for the guests. She happily gives it to him, free of charge, before she tells you that housekeeping will bring you the pillow shortly, before she resumes her own work again, letting you and Jungkook walk back into the elevator.

You’re not sure what you think of this- but junkook has liked flowers back then, so why wouldn’t he still like flowers now. Or, maybe he’s staying here with his girlfriend, and he’s just wanting to gift her something on his way back to her- it’s valentines day, after all.

“I’ll.. can I have your number? To text you where you’ll sit tomorrow.” He asks, and you nod, walking into your room to fetch your phone, showing your number for him to type into his own, screen cracked a little in one corner. “awesome. Now then, the only thing I gotta do is..-“ he starts, slipping the phone in the pocket of his pants. “-ask you to be my valentine?” He wonders, holding the flower out to you. "Don’t have to say yes. I’m a big boy, I can take rejection.” He jokes.

“Can I.. ask why?” You wonder, and he grins, shrugging.

“I feel like, maybe the universe is trying to tell me something.” He simply answers. “..giving me a second chance, to ask you out for real this time.”

“wait.. you mean-“ you stammer, and he nods.

“I had.. kind of a huge crush on you back then. And, seeing you again.. it all just.. flared up again. Exactly the same way.” He confesses. “I’m not.. asking for something big. Just one date- and we’ll go from there.” He asks, and you slowly take the flower from him, smile on your lips as you think about his words. Fate, huh? A universe’s second chance? What are the chances?

You decide you don’t care.

“okay.” You answer him,-

And his eyes sparkle brightly, while he smiles at you like you’re the sun.

—--——--——--——--——--🩷--——--——--——--——--—i

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook imagine #bts jungkook imagine #bts jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook imagines #jungkook imagines #jeon jungkook fanfic #bts jeon jungkook imagine

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 2 months

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Hi,

this is weirdly kind of shameful... but as a kid growing into teenager, I couldn't really conceptualize willingly having sex with someone so all of my.... fantasies when trying to get off were all of someone raping me... I feel really guilty about the whole thing now and I'm not sure if it was normal or just my trauma making life three times harder than it's supposed to be.

Sorry to bother you,

hi A,

I can totally understand why those sexual fantasies would feel scary, confusing, upsetting, and even shameful. but what you're describing is extremely common, and not indicative of anything shameful or wrong with you as a person. fantasies about nonconsensual sex as a means of "justifying" sexual behavior are very reported by many people, especially those who, like you did, may lack the framework for imagining what a consensual experience could potentially look like. it does not reflect on anything else about you and your values in real life; the things that you imagine in your head don't impact anyone but you and do not cause any actual harm. it is fine that you had these fantasies, and would be fine if you continue to. pinky promise.

#sex edventures 2024

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sarcasticsparkles · 1 year

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Something I find extremely amusing that isn’t talked about is how much Light makes sense as a person once you get to know his father better. I’m not talking about the “he’s a cop” thing. That discussion’s been done to death.

I’m talking about how this man had a heart attack but managed to sneak out of the hospital, steal a police van, crash it into a building, hold a man at gunpoint, ruin the Second Kira’s plans, all of this in the span of like an hour... and besides being tired mostly just walked that shit off. Reminder this man was like 48 at this point.

Now I wonder what is going on with Light’s mother that she fell in love with this disaster of a man, even if he is a genuinely good person. Was she just as insane as him but mellowed out when they spawned a creature together? Is she where Light learned the belief that building a bomb in your desk to hide a diary is totally normal teenage behavior?

I’m just saying a lot of Light’s weirder traits make sense when you learn how insane his father is. How much more of it could be explained by his parents?

#death note #light yagami #soichiro yagami #sachiko yagami #can we get some backstory on these two please?

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lakesbian · 1 year

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the more that i think about it, the more i feel like the undersiders are a really good litmus test for ability to understand/be sympathetic towards neurodivergency w/o reacting w/ hatred when it’s unpalatable. like, yes. they do in fact do a lot of violent and terrible things. but they’re from “trauma viscerally literalized as superpowers which are taken to extreme usages to better represent how devastating and emotionally total being traumatized feels” the book--it makes sense that every character is messy, it makes sense that every character does and thinks shit that extremely fucking sucks. trauma extremely fucking sucks! bitch literally tearing a man’s arm off because she’s been taught her entire life that people will always mock and hurt her for who she is and has learned to use aggression as pre-emptive defense feels significantly more relatable to what i was like when i was an autistic teenager than any quirky-funny representation of autism out there, and she’s not even explicitly autistic.

like, yeah, taylor has a paranoid and irrational worldview. lisa is hypervigilant and secretive and manipulative. brian can barely function & still refuses to be vulnerable. aisha acts out and it being for attention doesn’t make the behavior any less grating. rachel is aggressive and stubborn and violent. alec doesn’t understand ethical or social boundaries. those are all things i’ve seen people complaining about, saying they hated those characters for it, saying that it was fucking irritating to read about. which is like...Yeah, That’s How Traumatized Teenagers Act!

taylor had any ability to be “rational” about social interactions eroded from the years of irrational cruelty she faced. lisa micromanages her loved ones’ wellbeing because the last time she didn’t, her brother died. brian genuinely doesn’t know how to function at all if he’s not trying to be strong because it’s the only coping mechanism he’s been taught. aisha, chronically abused and neglected, is trying to assert autonomy & gain attention in the only way she knows how. rachel has learned that the only way she’ll be afforded any respect is if she takes it by force. alec says & does wildly inappropriate things because 13 years of grooming taught him it was normal.

& yeah, all of those things suck to deal with, but that is in fact because trauma sucks to deal with. litmus test for ability to realize that and be reasonably generous about the fact instead of shitting on the involved teenagers for having a hard time being perfect people after experiencing things built to make them feel less than human.

#worm #this one is fully just a ramble but i like the undersiders. I Like Them.#i would like to take them all out for ice cream.#and they can get the large cup size too if they want i don't care #i'll even let them get extra toppings they deserve it

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suzukiblu · 10 months

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Continued adventures in Kon being too trans for this pregnancy shit. TW for internalized transphobia and also-internalized slut-shaming.

Bart hugs him, which is nice. Like, Kon appreciates that. Good practice for baby daddy behavior, even. Kon’s basically twice his fucking size and strong enough to smush him into paste, but it’s still–it still feels good, being held like that.

Well, held onto more than “held”, maybe, but still.

So Kon cries into Bart’s shoulder like an idiot for a while and kind of hates himself for it, but it’s just–it’s a fucking relief, that Bart just . . . doesn’t care. That he’s not treating him any different or acting weirded-out or grossed-out or . . . or whatever. That he’s willing to lie for him to minimize how fucking embarrassing this all is, how fucking stupid he is, how . . .

He never wanted to tell anyone that he isn’t a real guy. Never wanted to tell anyone that he’s not–that he’s like this. Just–made wrong, or whatever. There’s enough wrong with him as it is.

So he never wanted to tell, but he’s fucked up into having to, and Bart doesn’t care.

It’s fucking stupid how much better that makes him feel, but he still doesn’t want to tell anyone else any more than the absolute bare minimum. Just . . . telling everyone he knows that he’s trans, telling everyone he knows that he’s trans and that he fucked up enough to get himself knocked up–that’s already terrifying. Telling them all that and that he doesn’t even know who the fucking dad is because he’s too big a fucking whore to figure it out . . .

The Kents aren’t like that. Hell, neither are any of his friends or anyone else he knows, aside from maybe some supervillains. He’s just always been too fucking scared to just sleep with someone who knew him, who . . . who might see him differently, if they saw him like that. If they knew he wasn’t really . . .

Kon doesn’t know what he’d do, if he’d gotten anywhere with Tana or Cassie or anyone he’s ever–liked, and they’d found out he was made wrong and–and then–

He doesn’t know what he’s going to do now, even just telling people at all. But it’s not like he can hide a pregnancy or a fucking kid, so–so he has to. He doesn’t have a choice anymore.

Well, unless he runs off to fucking space or something for nine months and ditches the kid in an interstellar orphanage, which would actually be at least slightly an improvement on his personal experience of “go live with your manager and be a C-list teen idol superhero”, “a lab is a totally normal environment to be a teenager in”, and “here’s some people you barely know, and I as the person who actually knows you will be back in six months to say hi, maybe”.

Maybe, anyway. Maybe not.

He doesn’t know what he’s gonna do if the Kents won’t let him stay. If they will let him stay but treat him differently, or even just–look at him differently, or . . . or if Cassie and Tim look at him differently, or . . . or . . .

God, if Cassie and Tim look at him differently–

He wants to cry ‘til he’s sick, thinking about that possibility. Thinking that maybe they won’t think he’s . . . won’t think he’s real. That they might–that they’ll think he’s something fake, that they’ll think he’s a liar, that they’ll think he’s just some useless fucking coward, a slut and a whore and a stupid, stupid–

“Kon,” Bart says, tightening his arms around him. “Are you doing that thing again?”

“No,” Kon says, with no idea what he actually means by “that thing”. Bart makes a dissatisfied noise, fisting his hands in the back of Kon’s shirt.

“Okay, so you’re doing that thing and you’re lying to me,” he says, and Kon feels like the stupidest thing alive and just cries harder, burying his face in tighter against Bart’s shoulder and squeezing his arms around him all the tighter too. He holds himself back, obviously, because if he held him as tight as he wants to he’d fucking crush him, but–but it helps, still. Even having to be . . . careful. Or–delicate about it.

“I didn’t want to lie,” he chokes. “I didn’t. I–”

“Not about that,” Bart says impatiently, leaning back enough to frown up at him. “You can lie about what’s in your pants all you want, that’s nobody’s business. I’m talking about how you’re lying about talking yourself down in your head. Which I know you’re doing, but I’m not telling you how I know or you might figure out how to ditch the tells, so don’t even ask.”

“I’m not,” Kon tries, wiping self-consciously at his tears. Bart keeps frowning at him, but he’s not lying. He’s just–it’s not “talking himself down” when it’s true. That’s all.

“Don’t talk about my friend like that,” Bart says, then hugs him again.

Kon cries some more, for obvious reasons, but somehow feels better anyway.

#rinfic #wip: kon is too trans for this pregnancy shit #long post

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oscarpiasstri81 · 11 months

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i wanna ruin our friendship - oscar piastri

part one / part two

summary ~ in which oscar and his childhood best friend discover their feelings for each other through an… unconventional way

pairing ~ {oscar piastri x childhoodbsf!reader}

content warnings ~ smut! vaginal fingering, oral (m and f receiving), language, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it kids!!), angst?, fluff, aftercare, probably horrible grammar, etc.

a/n ~ i’ve never written one of these before, so please be nice. also, english is not my mother tongue, do let me know if i’ve made a mistake, or if i missed any content warnings!!!!

word count ~ probably like 3.5k?

As you looked at the group around you, you had finally noticed there was no place to sit. You were meeting up with some friends from the grid plus their friends and significant others. In total, there were at least 30 people, so it shouldn’t have came as a surprise that even Charles’ Monaco home didn’t have enough seating.

After a minute of scanning the room, looking lost, you met eyes with your best friend, Oscar Piastri. He noticed that you had been clearly looking for somewhere to sit, with your drink in hand, and patted his lap, beckoning you over. Naturally, you had gone to sit with him without argument. As you sat down, he rested his hand on your knee.

This wasn’t unnatural behavior between you and the rookie driver. The two of you had been friends since childhood. Both having grown up in Melbourne and living on the same street, you were bound to grow such a strong bond. You’d been through everything together. From petty childhood arguments to friend breakups and even a real breakup at one point. As young, inexperienced teenagers, you had dated for a total of three weeks before deciding you were better off as friends and going back to normal. Now, you two were as close as ever, which is why the rest of the group didn’t bat an eye when you had chosen to sit on his lap, or when his hands suddenly moved from resting on your knee to gripping your hips.

You had just leaned forward in your seat on his lap to grab your drink when his hands shifted. You felt his breathe on the back of your neck as he softly whispered to only you, not wanting to grab anyone else’s attention.

“You’ve got to stop moving, y/n.”

He said in a low tone. It sounded as though he was almost out of breathe. You turned to look at him confused, not quite understanding why, but ultimately abided by his request and stayed still.

After a few minutes of drinking and conversing with some of the other people in the group, you had completely forgotten about what had transpired just minutes ago. You set your drink down in front of you, and wiggled a little to get more comfortable. Oscar took in a sharp breath, and spoke softly to you once again.

“Can you just stay still, please?”

He sounded a little more desperate this time, and you turned to look at him in the face, concerned.

“Why, is everything okay? You’re getting a little snappy” You said, jokingly.

A light blush dusted over his cheeks, barely visible, but still there. You hadn’t even noticed how his hands were still sat comfortably on your hips, and how his shallow breaths had picked up quite a bit. Still with a concerned look on your face, you reached your wrist up to check the temperature of his forehead.

“You feel a little bit warm. Are you feeling ill?”

At this point, you were wondering if he had somehow gotten sick over the last few hours, or if he was a little buzzed by the amount of drinks he’d had.

You shifted in his lap once more to face your body towards him better when you felt it. The obvious imprint of something rather… hard beneath your lap. Finally understanding what was going on, you looked up at Oscar with a matching blush on your cheeks. Eager to fill the awkward silence, you resorted to your best coping mechanism.

“Um… Oscar. You seem to have a bit of a growing problem. Down there” You joked as you inconspicuously pointed towards his nether region.

The awkward laugh that left you just made Oscar feel even more humiliated than he had already been.

“I’m really sorry, y/n. Trust me, this is just as uncomfortable for me as it is for you.” He said bashfully.

Maybe it was the look in his eyes, or maybe it was the amount of drinks you had already downed, but a surge of confidence came through you.

“Oh, I’m anything but uncomfortable right now.”

Again, you had no idea where this confidence was coming from, but the look on Oscars face when you said that made the feeling grow tenfold, and it seemed to have effected him as well. He did a quick sweep of the group, making sure no one was paying the both of you too much attention. Once he came to the conclusion that everyone was entirely invested in one of Lando’s stories, the grip on your hips tightened. He tested the waters by gently pulling you down onto his growing member, grinding your hips against his.

The soft moan that left your lips would’ve attracted everyone’s attention if not for the loud music playing in the background. You looked back up at Oscar with lust filled eyes, silently begging for him to do it again, and how could he say no to such pretty eyes. He gently ground his hips up against yours one last time, leaving a gently kiss on the back of your neck. Feeling how aroused he was growing, you leaned to whisper in his ear.

“We should go somewhere a little more private.”

With a soft smirk and a hint of mischief in his eyes, he nodding enthusiastically. You stood up from his lap slowly, ignoring the aching feeling coming from between your legs. You were too focused on how Oscar was making you feel to hear whatever lame excuse he told the group before taking you by the hand and leading you into another room.

You barely made it the whole way to the door before Oscar was grabbing you by your hips and pulling your back against his chest, rutting into you as he walked. You turned around against him, looking at him in the eye, feigning seriousness.

“Stop it, Oscar.” You said with a laugh and a gentle swat on the arm “What if someone sees?”

He let out a scoff, “Please, with the way you were just grinding against me in front of everybody, I doubt they’d care much.”

The cocky tone in his voice sent shivers down your spine and left moisture gathering in your pussy. You were already so wet from what he was doing to you while you were in his lap, there was no way you weren’t soaking through your panties right now. You turned away from him playfully, and started to walk up the stairs, only turning back to look at him when he planted a slap on your ass.

When you finally got up the stairs and into one of the many guest rooms of the Monaco penthouse, the nerves were finally catching up with you. Were you really about to have sex with your childhood best friend? The simple answer, yes.

Oscar shut the door quietly, the only sound to be heard was the lock on the door carefully turning. He shifted to look at you slowly, taking cautious steps towards you until your back was pressed up against the wall. The eyes that were previously filled with nothing but lust momentarily turned soft.

“Are you sure you want to do this, y/n. If this is going to make you uncomfortable, we can go back downstairs and pretend this never happened.”

Hearing his words made your heart drop into your stomach. Knowing that he could so easily forget about this entire situation, unbeknownst to your feelings, left a tinge of pain in your lungs. But this was too good of an opportunity to pass up, so you quickly nodded at his question. He let out a tsk sound, and let his hand to softly caress your jaw. He brushed your hair out of your face, leaning down until he was within centimeters of your lips. So close, you could feel his breath mixing with yours as he spoke.

“I need words, pretty girl.”

You closed your eyes slightly as he spoke, the feeling of his lips so close to yours so hard to pass up.

“Please, Oscar. Kiss me.”

He quickly succumbed to your request, pushing his lips against yours. The feeling was nothing you could’ve ever imagined. It was almost as if the universe had created his lips to fit perfectly against your own. He took the opportunity of your surprise to slip his tongue into your mouth. You moaned softly into it, the both of you fighting for dominance of the kiss. In the end, he won.

Without warning, he leaned down slightly to put his hands on the back side of your thighs, lifting you around his waist with ease. Wrapping your legs around him, you slipped your hands into his hair and deepened the kiss.

So caught up in the moment, you barely noticed him walking backwards towards the bed until he let go of his grip on you, letting you gently fall against the comforter. Without a second thought, he reached his arms to the underside of his shirt and brought it over his head, leaving him in just a pair of low rise jeans.

Without his shirt, you had a better opportunity to examine his toned body. You had seen him without a shirt before plenty of times, but something was different now with the sexual tension in the air. You let your eyes wander over his chest, collarbones sticking out so beautifully. His stomach was completed with toned abs, looking incredibly soft from where you were sitting below him. Gazing further down, your eyes resting on the defined v-line near the waistband of his jeans, the elastic of his boxers sticking out.

Too busy staring at his body, you hadn’t noticed the way he suck to his knees, and pushed the hem of your dress up to rest around your waist. You watched his as he looked at the pair of lacy white panties surrounding your swollen cunt. He couldn’t help but notice the wet patch near the bottom of the set.

You snapped back into reality when you felt the soft kisses he was leaving on your inner thighs, the occasional bite leaving you gripping the sheets on the bed.

He made eye contact with you as he moved his fingers to gently massage the wet patch covering your panties, his fingers exactly where you wanted them. He had a cocky grin on his face listening to the sounds that escaped your pretty lips when he applied a bit more pressure near your clit.

“Can I take these off?” His question broke the silence. Again, you found yourself without words and nodded in compliance.

“Words, pretty girl. I need to hear you say it.”

“Please, Oscar. I want you to touch me.” You whined in response.

With your consent, he wasted no time in pulling the panties off of your body, leaving kisses down your legs as he takes his time. Never once did he break eye contact with you, and the thought made the butterflies in your stomach flutter. At this point, all thoughts of the potential consequences from this moment in your friendship were lost in the back of your mind.

He made his way back up to you, smiling softly before planting his lips on yours in a slow, passionate kiss. You felt his fingers tickling their way over your chest, down your abdomen and stopping on top of your clit. He starts gently rubbing along the edge of your entrance, teasing you slightly. The feeling lets a loud whimper escape from you, your body desperate for his attention. He chuckles against the skin of your neck as he slowly drags his fingers down and into your tight hole. With a ‘come hither’ motion, his long fingers quickly find that spongey spot inside of you, caressing it. His kisses trail down from your neck until his face is between your thighs and you can feel his hot breath on your most sensitive parts.

He makes eye contact with you, silently asking for permission to put his mouth on you, desperately wanting to find out what you taste like. You nod with a whine and a quiet ‘please’ before he does exactly what he wants with you. His tongue expertly finds your clit and he begins sucking on it while his fingers work inside you with ease.

“O-Oh, Oscar! Please… please, go faster. I’m so c-close”

Your cries only seem to edge him on as he increased the speed of his fingers, working their way into you faster. He works his tongue around your pussy, trying to memorize the taste of you as you come.

Letting out a loud moan, the knot in your lower stomach finally comes undone. Oscar can feel the way that you clench around his fingers, and pulls them out of your hole before instantly replacing them with his tongue. He laps up all of your juices as they drain out of you, and your body falls limp momentarily from the overstimulation.

With his face still between your legs, you feel the vibration of his moans resonating through your core. Looking down at him, you see the way he is rocking his jean covered hips into the bed beneath him. Once he finally pulls away from your pussy, you take the opportunity to roll him underneath you.

“What are you doing?” He asks in a breathless tone. Not that he is complaining. The sight of you on top of him with your dressed pushed over your waist, and a sheen of sweat covering your flustered skin. It’s a dream come true.

Without answering his question, you slide your body down until your face comes level with his growing erection. You push his hips down flush with the bed, and begin working on undoing the tight jeans he is wearing. Finally undoing the buttons, he lifts his hips so you can pull them down, leaving him in just his boxers. You brush your fingertip over the wet spot in the front from his leaking precum, and palm his member, applying some friction. Hearing his groans, you finally pull the boxers down over his hips, throwing them aimlessly across the room.

His swollen, red cock hits his stomach with a wet smack, and you take a moment to really take in how he looks. He also has a shiny sheen of sweat covering his body, and the flush across his cheeks makes him look entirely delicious. His cock is lengthy and thick, the bright red tip still leaking precum. You lean down to run your tongue across it, making him moan out loudly. Sucking gently, focusing on the tip, you take your finger to run across the bulging vein on the underside of his dick. After a minute of teasing and listening to Oscars breathy moans, you take as much of his member in your mouth as you can. Hallowing out your cheeks, you bob your head up and down as a fast pace, hoping to get him to the edge as fast as possible.

Just as you think he is about to come, his hands come to grab your hair and pull you off his cock with a pop. You look at him confused for a second before he speaks.

“If you kept that up, I was going to come way too fast.” He says with a slight chuckle.

“Maybe that was my point.”

“Baby, if I’m going to come, it’s gonna be deep inside of you.”

His words leave you breathless and clenching your pussy around nothing. Oscar sits up only to grab you, and flip you back underneath him. Grabbing you by the jaw, he turns his face towards you and kisses you with the most passion he could possible portray through a kiss. Without warning, he aligns his cock up with your hole, and pushes in slowly. As much as he wants to go hard and fast, the ache between his legs becoming almost too much for him, he refrains. He pulls out of you slowly, almost all the way before grinding his hips into yours and pushing himself back into you fully.

The slow and intimate pace has you feeling things you shouldn’t, feelings you had so desperately tried to forget resurfacing. For you, this isn’t just sex, it feels more like the connection between you and Oscar you were so miserably wanting.

When you open your eyes, you see Oscar staring down at you with adoration filling his expression. He moves one of his hands from your hip to rest on your cheek, gently pulling you in for a slow kiss.

As your tongues wrestle together, you feel his remaining hand snake around your body to rub gentle circles on your clit. The combination of his cock stretching you out and his fingers rubbing against you has you seeing stars.

“I’m not gonna last long. I need you to be a good girl and come for me.” He says between moans.

Obeying his request, you feel yourself pulsating around him for the second time that night. Your vision goes white and you feel as if you are floating outside of your body. The most intense orgasm washes over your entire body as you let out moans you’re sure the neighbors could hear. Feeling your cunt squeeze around his cock has him coming within seconds. He moans into your mouth as he feels himself close to coming. Pausing his movements inside of you, he looks up at your blitzed out face.

“I’m gonna cum, where do you want it, baby?” He says with a desperate tone, obviously resisting the urge to empty his load inside of you. Your next words surprise him.

“Inside… please. I want you to fill me up, Oscar.”

Momentarily stunned by your words, he snaps out of his daze quickly. With a quiet string of cursed, he feels him balls tighten, and then he’s coming, burying his load deep inside of you.

The both of you lay there for a minute, his softened cock still deep inside you, trying to catch his breath. He takes this time to brush the hair out of your eyes and really look at you. The fucked out look on your face really isn’t helping his growing affections for you. Your eyes are glazed over, mouth parted ever so slightly. It is the most beautiful you have ever looked, and Oscar can’t get enough of it.

With a gently kiss in your lips, Oscar removes himself from you and walks around the bed to the connected bathroom for a warm towel to clean up with. When he returns, he gently wipes you down, making sure you’re not left sticky.

“Oscar?”

You break the comfortable silence with your sudden words, and he stops what he is doing to look at you.

“Yeah? Everything okay?”

You pause for a second.

“This isn’t going to ruin our friendship, right? Because… I really can’t lose you, Osc.”

Hearing the sad tone in your voice, he immediately wants to reassure you and tell you no, you’ll still be friends, no matter what happens. But he doesn’t.

“I don’t want to be friends, y/n”

He couldn’t even manage to look you in the eye as he said this, only after he heard you sitting up in the bed did he manage to meet your gaze. The tears gathering in your eyes almost broke him. You had wrapped yourself in the sheets, as if you were trying to hide your body from him.

“What? W-What do you mean you don’t want to be friends anymore?” Your voice breaking as you speak.

“I just-“ He looks up at you exasperated. “I don’t want to be friends because… I love you, y/n. I love you so much and I can’t go on any longer pretending that I don’t”

He meets your gaze once again, and the tears in your eyes are trailing over your cheeks, falling onto the sheets below you.

“Osc…”

“No. Let me finish” You give him a sad nod. “I have been in love with you since the first time we kissed when we were 16. Every time I see you, I get reminded how perfect you are for me, and then I have to remind myself that you see me as nothing more than a friend. I just- I can’t do it anymore. I’m miserable, and my life jus-“

While Oscar was talking, he hadn’t noticed that you had slowly gravitated towards him. He also hadn’t noticed the smile that grew on your face as he talked about how he felt. He did finally notice something when you cut him off with the most perfect kiss. Just as suddenly as you had kissed him, you pulled away. Laughing at his confused face, you began to speak.

“Sorry. I had to shut you up somehow. Oscar, I love you too. I have no idea how you didn’t notice, I mean, I’ve literally been in love with you since we were 12.”

Now it was his turn to cut her off. As he kissed her once again, he couldn’t help the smile that took shape on his face. He pulled himself away from you for only a moment to admire your face before pulling you into another kiss.

He slotted himself into the bed, next to you, gently covering the both of you in the soft sheets of the bed. Pulling you close in his arms, he left soft kisses along the back of your shoulders until he heard the familiar sounds of your soft snores. Letting himself admire you for a moment, his heavy eyes finally shut, leaving him to fall asleep in a way he’s always wanted, next to you.

a/n ~ I really hope this is good. If it’s not, pls don’t be mean to me :) thank you if you read this ¡hasta la próxima!

#oscar piastri #formula 1 #smut #fluff #angst with a happy ending #childhood friends #friends to lovers #lando norris #charles leclerc #op81 #ln4 #cl16

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devastatinglygreen · 4 months

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Okay so now do what you think will happen after Colin finds out about Lady Whistledown. 🙏

so i sat on this for a little bit because i didn't really know how to answer it but i was chatting with @gleefullypolin, while totally not talking about polin nonstop, no. talking very normally i assure you.

i'm going to put the rest under the cut because it might have spoilers or speculation that people don't want to see:

alright so we know when colin finds out about LW, right? and we know they have a fight. a big one. obviously.

i think colin has to have a regression of his character. he's only been vulnerable around one person so far this season. penelope. and he loves and adores her and she's going betray (hello eros and psyche!) his trust.

there is no love without trust.

there's something very interesting we noticed while chatting about colin and his bro friends. they've been there each time he makes a choice about penelope.

the first ball, he chooses her over them after they're like, "the featherington girl? why concern yourself with her?" but then he tries to take it somewhere private and she checks him hard and cracked his armor. she was not impressed with that version of him and he knew it.

and he definitely will when he learns she's LW if he wasn't aware before

when he's not near them, he chooses her without thinking about it, he runs out after her at a ball when gossip about them is pretty much being said to their faces. even at the first brothel scene, he tells them he's late but then we see him at the market waiting for penelope. this man is a fake and a liar and we see him, we know what he's about. nerd.

in episode 3, he's with them at the balloon thing and they're messing with him about helping penelope and he's so dumb because he's like "i'm done with all of that. it's good to back" all cocky and lame like he wasn't just eating the same cupcake thing she did and staring at her. i was a dramatic teenage girl who once had a crush on a guy who i only saw at lunch and never knew his name and even i wasn't down that bad. good lord. embarrassing.

not really i love it, i love him so much

but he picks penelope over them again when he runs off to save her from the big mean hot air balloon.

we see them again in episode 4, at the library while he watches penelope through a mirror. because that's definitely not crying, screaming, throwing up behavior. they invite him out. for revelry. regency bro speak for possible syphilis and liver disease, it's fine.

he can't get down with his ladies of choice because he's knee deep in wishing he was balls deep in penelope instead. he stares at a wall. they manage to make us feel bad for a man sitting in a brothel. amazing.

we see them at mondrich's. they're talking about girls they probably didn't actually sleep with. oh sure, totally buy that you had access to a woman for 6 months straight. you bet, my guy, totally believable. colin is unhappy. he's like don't you ever want to have a feeling? they're like, no, i just feel the syphilis. it burns, bridgerton. we need antibiotics.

antibiotics won't be a thing for like another 100 years give or take good luck i guess

but he stays and drinks. he's picked penelope but he can't have penelope at this moment. he's in bed laying there waiting to sleep. or die. idk. he's a bridgerton, they're dramatic.

he sees them one last time in episode 4. they stop him. they're dicks. rude to will on top of it? pls. they invite him out and he says no. he's picked penelope once more but he doesn't say anything but "excuse me" and pushes through. they don't push back. they're like, fine. more chronic liver failure and fake stories for us, bro.

he finds penelope. causes a huge social upset that no one pays attention to because he's too busy ragging on debling for having the audacity to leave penelope for years. which is fair. colin would never.

chases penelope. catches her. not quite balls deep but knuckles deep at minimum, let's be real.

which, i am very sorry for this being this long at this point, is why i think we could see his "friends" again before the end. he's going to go through something world shaking and they're always there when he's making a choice but i think what's important to note is that he always makes the right one, he always picks penelope. i think he's not fully dropped that armor and it's easy to slip back into someone pretending not to care, especially when you're hurting. he's got to reject the man society wants him to be and, essentially, be the man penelope needs him to be. she's his purpose.

eta: colin loves to be penelope's hero. i think he's going to feel that pull over whatever else is going on.

i'm just saying it's a mirror of how penelope needs to reconcile how she's both penelope and lady whistledown. they both need to come to terms with who they want to be moving forward. symbolism or some shit.

or i'm totally wrong and all those words above mean nothing. either way i got to avoid folding laundry. time well spent if you ask me.

#asks #anon #polin #bridgerton spoilers #bridgerton speculation #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #colin's douche friends

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maxiemumdamage · 24 days

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Although far from the most heinous of villains, there’s one Avatar: the Last Airbender character whom I still harbor a very generous amount of hatred for:

King Kuei, aka the ruler of Ba Sing Se, aka the Earth King who somehow managed not to know his kingdom had been under siege by a foreign power for over a century.

And I know most people, the narrative included, forgive him for his ignorance due to the fact it was Long Feng’s conspiracy that made it so. But for a man in King Kuei’s position, I think the ignorance is a cruelty and abuse of power, even if not at the same level as Long Feng, the Dai Li and their conspiracy.

Because in order for Kuei not to know about the war, he had to not knos about anything that was happening in his kingdom. To not know about the war, he also had to not know about the refugees pouring into his kingdom. He had to therefore be clueless about things like housing, food, water, citizenship/immigration, foreign policy, and trade. He had to not know anything about the general standard of living of his people, in addition to their safety — and we see that in action when Team Avatar takes him outside the palace!

And MAYBE Kuei was just tricked by faked documents, if you really wanna give him the benefit of the doubt — maybe he just read the summary reports saying all was well and believed them, or made whatever allocations his advisors suggested without looking at the data personally or confirming through a secondary source. But Long Feng made it sound more like the king just runs museums and cultural preservation programs and delegates all the rest. Which just circles back to him not looking closely enough at what’s happening to actually see it! That is not good leadership.

And if you wanna talk about what Kuei does after he learns the truth about his loyal advisor and tries to take charge himself…uh.

He immediately spills the invasion plan and all its details to Azula, which led to the eclipse invasion failing. (Yes, she was disguised as an allied warrior, but she was still a total stranger and a random teenager from an arguably foreign island. A good leader wouldn’t have told her everything he did, even with good reason to think her trustworthy. And sure, Azula might’ve learned of the invasion regardless, but Kuei definitely made the situation worse.)

Kuei does nothing to help with the modified solar eclipse invasion, either — he tells Team Avatar to do what they want and fucks off to travel the world with his pet for a few months. Maybe acceptable behavior from an influencer, but not from a king whose country has been invaded and colonized by a hostile, genocidal nation. Kuei completely abandoned his people during their worst hour, which he helped bring about! Instead of trying to make up for his failure, he shrugs it off and moves on, then comes back and retakes his throne once someone else has done all the work of getting rid of those pesky invaders.

Kuei doesn’t show up when the White Lotus retakes Ba Sing Se — he doesn’t even know it’s happening, which speaks to his apathy towards the well-being of his people. The invaders are finally being kicked out, the war is about to end, and King Kuei has no idea. If word hadn’t reached him after the war ended, would someone else have been installed as king? Frankly, I think it might’ve been for the best, had they not needed to make it seem like the Earth Kingdom was going back to normal.

Like, at the end of the day, Jeong-Jeong, Piandao, and Iroh — all three Fire Nation deserters, and one a former enemy general who once pillaged the city and a BROTHER OF THE CURRENT FIRE LORD — did more to help Ba Sing Se than its king. And you can’t even blame the White Lotus for not making an effort to find and include Kuei, because he would’ve just been dead weight for them. He wouldn’t actually know enough about the infrastructure to be an asset, and it’s not like his face is known by the people enough for him to grant morale to local earthbenders. For all its tragic Kuei had no clue his city was being reclaimed, he would’ve been unable to do anything if he knew. Because Iroh knew more about Kuei’s city than he did!

And then in the comics, once he’s back on the throne he immediately almost restarts the war. The HUNDRED YEAR WAR that ended like a MONTH ago. Because Zuko says “hey actually these Fire Nation colonies existed for almost a century, it’ll be hard to tear them apart without hurting a ton of people and splitting up families. let them stay while we sort things out.” Kuei then goes to war (he mobilized his army and everything) because Zuko the teenage Firelord does one (1) mean and slightly concerning thing that.

(I will freely admit: Zuko was also at fault, he did not handle that situation well by any means. And even if his conclusions were reasonable, he sure expressed them in a way that would made the nation they just stopped targeting the Earth Kingdom in war very tetchy. But Kuei doesn’t know enough about the war or Zuko or his own kingdom to actually know why this is bad! It’s not a trauma response nor fear for the well-being of his people, but a desire to prove his own worth that motivates Kuei to send armed forces to remove the Fire Nation colonies. He’s certainly not absolved for how fast he pulled the trigger and wanted to resume war, just to feel like he was doing something.)

Zuko’s bad choices were rooted in concern for his people and having visited the colonies himself and seen how difficult the situation was. Kuei just wanted to appease his ego by feeling strong and decisive even when it meant making an uninformed decision. “Well I was useless before so I gotta make sure I take swift actions now, even if that means being uninformed and using liberal violence. Soldiers move out!”

WHY DID HE HAVE TO GO BACK ON THE THRONE. CAN’T BUMI OR TOPH TAKE OVER RULING BA SING SE???

The fact most of Kuei’s sins are born of ignorance doesn’t absolve him, because a person in his position should never be ignorant to that extent. And Kuei knows it — that’s why he’s defensive, but also ashamed, when Team Avatar proves the existence of the war to him. Kuei has all the resources and tools to educate himself. He just…chooses not to.

The fact he makes one good decision when he trusts team Avatar over Long Feng ALSO falls short when you remember how long it took them to get there and how little that actually achieved. He goes right back to ignoring them after the war once they stop telling him what he wants to hear, anyway!

(Plus, if they’d NOT gone to him for help, the Invasion on the Day of Black Sun might have succeeded. The water tribe soldiers, mechanists, and earthbenders not from Ba Sing Se were the forces they actually ended up with — they didn’t need Kuei’s armies to get as far as the palace! — and they could’ve won if they’d had the element of surprise.)

Anyway. Kuei was useless and given his position, had no right to be. What happened to even noblesse oblige? All those privileges he earned from the labor of his people, and he couldn’t actually be bothered to know a damn thing about their lives. Much less protect them.

So yeah. King Kuei hate mail time.

For some reason extra incompetent people inserting themselves into political offices and then ignoring the well-being of their country makes me extra mad lately.

#avatar the last airbender #atla #king kuei #atla kuei #atla earth king #atla analysis #atla comics #max.txt

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