#Trauma made her stay out of the modeling business

[cringeyvanillamilk]

Sooo About Your Modern day black clover AU I wanted to ask : What are Lolo and Megicula doing? Like I can imagine that Meg works in Vanicas agency as her designer or Manager. Lolo I think may also be a Model ( like Vanica ) purely because she needs to be "cursed" (and traumatized) somehow

It's been a while since I've worked on my modern day Black Clover AU, but those are great suggestions! 👀

I haven't thought of anything for Lolo and Megicula previously, but I do think that Meg being Vanica's business partner and Lolo being a retired model would be a good choice.

I like the idea of Mag being more of an advisor to Vanica, approving business decisions that could help her agency thrive. Of course, she would also be connected to some shady connections that may or may not have led Lolo to have a serious injury.

Lolo would've been a famous model who got caught up in an "accident" that almost killed her if it weren't for her bodyguard, Gaja. This led her to permanently retire from modeling, but got to open up a huge book store. She still donates to charities and volunteers.

[icyg4l]

Pick-A-Child Star: Inner Child Messages

In honor of Black History Month, I am continuing the series of highlighting Black icons while prioritizing the spiritual needs of Black Americans. Pick the image that resonates with you most.

Left-to-Right (1-3): Keke Palmer, Aleisha Allen, China Anne McClain

If you chose Pile One, you resonate with the energy of Keke Palmer. As we all know, she is a multi-talented human being. She is a singer-songwriter, actress, dancer, talk show host, podcaster and model. Her name is synonymous with the phrase 'busy bee'. Her infectious personality has followed us through movies and tv shows like True Jackson VP, Scream Queens, Akeelah and the Bee, Nope and much more. She continues to grace the screens with her charismatic nature.

"You're always wondering what you're not, can't you be happy with what you've got?"

When you were younger, you may have watched the tv show, 'How to Rock', starring Cymphonique. The premise of the show is navigating the social castes of high school. I channeled the theme song for this show. You really need to show some more gratitude, man. What's in your imagination is being reflected on the outside world; just enjoy the moment. Your brain is on overload all the time and you really need to rest. On Valentine's Day, you should give yourself some 'me time'. Another message that I get from your inner child is that you need to go play! For some of you, I sense that you're reluctant to let someone into your life when they have good intentions. I think high school plays a big role into why you navigate the world the way that you do. You are not in high school anymore! You are officially responsible for your own shit (that means the emotional trauma too, boo). Your inner child also wants you to know that you should take up some karate/self-defense classes. It is imperative that you learn how to stick up for yourself physically, not just verbally. Lastly, if you have lost a father figure, you should do that thing to honor his legacy such as getting a tattoo of him, getting a portrait painted of him, starting that company and naming it after him. You are your father's offspring, you know?

If you chose pile 2, this means you resonate with the energy of Aleisha Allen. She is most famously known for her roles in the 'Are We There Yet?' film series and School of Rock. Her cheeky portrayal of these characters solidified her as a Black child star icon. After starring in these classic films, she took on smaller roles in 'The Electric Company' and indie films. Since then, she has acquired a Bachelor's degree at Pace University and a Master's degree at Columbia University in Communication Science and Disorders to fulfill a career as a speech pathologist.

“I gets down, I don’t play”

Some of you may be in the midst of choosing a major after being undecided for so long. Some of you may switch majors a lot. Your inner child wants you to choose something that makes them come alive this time. In other words, choose a career path that's not boring to you. You could have ADHD/ADD or some type of learning disability. You need to slow down because you’re inviting some disingenuous energy. Your inner child does not trust the people that are around you. Your light shines too bright to be staying in spaces where you're not celebrated. This made me think of a video of Megan Thee Stallion talking about walking out of rooms where you don't feel comfortable. Do exactly that, my love. Everything will work out just fine if you believe that it will. Your inner child wants you to be as optimistic about this transition as possible. And lastly, you don't have to tolerate anyone's behavior, or quite frankly anything. If you feel like you have to put up with someone's bull, then you need to leave. You guys were quite the sassy kids, weren't you? Now, where did all of that energy go? Why are you dimming yourself down just to appeal to others? It doesn't matter if you're in a corporate meeting or a classroom filled with white people, you speak your mind. You know what's going on, don't be intimidated.

If you chose Pile 3, you resonate with the energy of China Anne McClain. She is known for her roles in Daddy’s Little Girls, A.N.T. Farm, the Descendants series and Black Lightning. Her range in roles highlights her witty, yet dramatic personality, which is the reason for any drawn interest in her. She is also a singer-songwriter who was once in a girl group with her older sisters, Lauryn and Sierra. Since then, she has documented her spiritual journey on social media after quitting acting.

“I’ve got friends on the other side”

This is the pile that I would probably choose. This is the pile of the hoodoos/witches/spiritualists/occultists. Your inner child wants you to know that the spells you’ve been casting have been working. As a child, you may have had some experiences with ghosts/spirits. Nobody believed you but who cares? They’re your friends now. There may be a cousin that you haven’t seen/talked to in a while. Please talk to them! Your inner child misses them so much! It doesn’t matter if you’re not on good terms with them, please go do it. For some reason, you should go play hide and seek. This could also mean that you should prepare for an item of yours to go missing temporarily. It could also mean that you will find out some information that you’ve been searching for. Finally, if you feel like you have nowhere to go, think again! Your inner child wants to go to place where you once frequented. This could be the beach, an arcade or the park. Go have a picnic. Go insert those coins/swipe that card into your favorite apocalypse game. Go dig your toes into the sand! You are going through self-actualization and it is important that you stay grounded. Be prepared to step into uncomfortable positions. Connecting with your inner child is a way to do so. It is essential for your growth as a person.

[she-karev]

The Mixer (Andrew DeLuca x Alex Karev’s Sister)

Age Rating: 12+

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Canon Episode: Season 14 Episode 6

Ship: Andrew DeLuca x Amber Karev (Alex Karev’s Sister)

AN: Sorry for taking so long guys I’ve been busy but I hope you enjoy this chapter and reviews are welcome. The GIF above is the outfit Amber is wearing to the mixer. This chapter shifts from first person POV to third.

Summary: Amber and Andrew reunite at the mixer where past information is revealed.

Words: 3486

The mirror in front of me doesn’t give me a clear view of the dress I choose for the night but that’s what I get for not finding an apartment in time for my new job. A month after my interview I opened an envelope informing me I was accepted into the surgical residency program at Grey Sloan. I was so excited that after Match Day I went straight to my room and danced to Little Mix’s Power while drinking a bottle of wine.

Now I’m in a three-star motel getting ready for a mixer the night before I officially start my surgical career. Grey Sloan has this party to officially welcome the interns and introduce them to their new colleagues and bosses, it’s an open bar so that’s a plus. Despite my excitement there’s something that’s still bothering me or should I say someone.

I was very surprised that I got accepted into Grey Sloan not because I was worried, I didn’t have the grades but because I was worried Alex would interfere. I feared that Alex would pull an evil stunt and get the chief to throw out my application just so he wouldn’t see me again. But I guess either the chief refused to do his bidding or he stayed out of it completely. The brother I had growing up wouldn’t do something so terrible to me but it’s been 13 years since I’ve had that brother and I’m not interested in finding out how much he’s changed since then.

However, there is someone who’s making me excited about working at Grey Sloan, Andrew DeLuca. It’s been two months since that glorious and amusing night we had and I still can’t get him off my mind. It took everything in me not to Instagram stalk him so I don’t turn into those anti-feminist stalkers I see on the lifetime channel. I don’t know why I had to stop myself from doing that, I’m not normally this gaga over someone I slept with once.

I guess it’s because he actually engaged in conversation with me before taking me to his house…where his roommate was about to sleep with his sister causing a hilarious scene that makes me chuckle when I think about it. I would’ve backed out from there but hearing him speak Italian turned me on again and I decided to go for it. I wanted to give him my number the morning after but I decided to wait and see if I get the job then maybe I can give us a real chance. I’m hoping I run into him at this mixer and we can save the whole introduction and head straight to dinner like we said.

I put the black belt around my blue bustier dress and opt for just a gold bracelet to accessorize. My makeup is done especially pretty for tonight with my lips bright red, my eyeliner is made to make my eyes stand out and my hair falls in loose waves over my shoulders. I decide to use my best heels for business and comfort purposes. I grab my keys and head out for the intern mixer.

Later

The mixer was in the cafeteria, and it was filled with other interns I was gonna work with. The only attending was this trauma surgeon April Kepner so that was disappointing. I was hoping to meet Meredith Grey ever since I was in med school, she’s been my inspiration. She’s been my idol ever since she was able to 3d print models of organs in her second attending year. There are other’s at this hospital I want to meet but Grey is at the top of my list.

I stand by the bar observing the area and my future coworkers drinking my second glass of wine when I see a guy approaching me drinking a beer and giving me a smug grin as he looked at me up and down.

“Hey I’m Vik, Yale.” He holds his hand out to me which I take despite my disgust. Vik is attractive but he has a douchey vibe I’m all too familiar with.

“Amber, NYU.”

“So, uh are you enjoying the party?”

“Yeah, it’s great. Although I think they’re just placating us before the torture begins.” Vik chuckles, “Are you gonna be an intern?”

“Yeah surgery, what about you?”

“Same.” I sip my wine when Vik snorts amused, “What?”

“I mean I would’ve pegged you in OB or derma, no offense but you don’t look like the kind of girl who can handle cutting into people.”

I frown at his comment, “And what do you think I can handle based on your myopic point of view, do you even know what myopic means?” Vik looks offended at my comment when the guy I met the day of my interview Levi Schmitt approaches me with a grin.

“Hey, I don’t know if you remember me my name is Levi, we met our first day here.” I ignore his greeting as I am busy trying to one up this ass.

“Look I said I didn’t mean any offense by it.” He tries but fails to ameliorate.

“Oh well I am sorry I shouldn’t have taken your misogynistic comment personally.” I say sarcastically, “Oh I’m sorry again I should’ve known misogynistic isn’t in your vocab as well, do you need a dictionary?”

Levi looks at us confused, “Did I miss something?”

I turn to him, “Maybe you can answer this would you immediately assume I’m not cut out to be a surgeon like this jackhole?”

Vik raises an eyebrow, “Jackhole?”

Levi looks confused but complies, “Um I don’t know I would ask and just accept the answer.”

I smile at his answer, “Thank you, that’s a nice human being right there, you can take example. If you don’t think I can be a surgeon that’s your problem to mansplain but it’s the 21st century and girls like me can be surgeons”

Vik shrugs, “Surgery is hardcore.”

“I am hardcore.” I say with confidence.

Levi looks less confident but joins in, “Um s-so am I.”

“You two won’t last the first year.” Vik says smugly before walking away from us.

I sneer at his back before downing my glass entirely. I’ve handled guys like Vik my whole life even in med school, they all see me and think I’ll get my way through my looks. I’ve gotten straight A’s, volunteered at the clinic and graduated at the top of class but I guess even when I actually become a doctor I still have to deal with assholes like Vik. I go to the food table to get some dessert with Levi following me, he reminds me of a puppy that attaches to the first person who shows him one act of kindness.

I shove a petit four in my mouth and turn to Levi, “What are you doing here? I thought your rotation was over?”

“It was and after that I applied for an internship here and I got in.”

I snort in disbelief, “Seriously? How did you get in after your disastrous meet and greet? You know the one where you-”

“I know which one.” Levi frowns at the mention of him dropping his glasses in an open body cavity during the surgery we observed. I still chuckle when I replay that horrifically iconic moment, he continues, “But I rectified that problem so they wont have to worry about another incident like that.”

I eat another dessert, “Lasiks or contacts?” I ask with my mouth full.

“Neither.” He turns around pointing to the back of his head where a red rubber back is attached to his glasses to prevent from falling out, “Sports band.”

I look at his remedy peculiarly which he notices when he turns around, “And contacts are a lesser choice because…”

“I tried those but it required me to touch my eyeballs so that was a dealbreaker.”

I nod and turn around walking away from him to mingle with hopefully more normal people. As far as I could see Alex and Andrew aren’t here both to my relief and disappointment. I pass the time talking to the other interns and attendings that are here until Dr. Webber calls our attention.

“Welcome to Grey Welcome to Grey Sloan Memorial, where your education is our top priority.”

He’s interrupted by the double doors bursting open by three guys who are stared at by me and the others. I’ll give them this they make a hell of an entrance, despite this Webber continues his speech.

“Um, you were chosen for your potential. We are one of the top-rated teaching hospitals in the nation.” I see Alex entering the room causing my breath to hitch. I avoid looking at him as much as I can instead focusing on Webber, “And with your bright futures, we are certain that that tradition will continue, but it’s up to you to put in the hard work and it is hard work. So, enjoy the evening, ask question, talk to your colleagues because tomorrow you are surgeons.” I clap with the others and opt to exit the party early so I can avoid-

“Hey.” I freeze at the familiar voice behind me and I reluctantly turn around and see Alex standing there, “I didn’t know if you were coming or not.”

“Yeah well this is an intern mixer and as much as it disdains you I am an intern.” I look at him with a blank expression to hide my dislike towards him.

“It doesn’t disdain me; it shocks me but it doesn’t bother me that you’re here.”

I nod, “Good then we have an understanding, I’m going home now.” I turn and take a few steps until Alex speaks again.

“Why did you apply here?” I turn around and give him a little of my true face causing him to explain, “I’m not asking for my sake I’m asking because you made it more than clear that you would rather beat me than work with me so why did you apply to the hospital I work at?”

I exhale in anger and look around the people that could notice so I grab his arm pulling him to outside the door. I don’t want to get into it in the middle of a party with people I’m gonna work with tomorrow, that just spells questions I don’t want to answer. I stop us a few feet away from the cafeteria and face him.

“I am not here to get back at you. I didn’t make this decision lightly and I certainly didn’t make it because of you.”

“I didn’t think you were I just-”

I interrupt him, “Thought that I could find somewhere else to work where I didn’t have to see you? Yeah believe me I wanted to but…I want to be the best surgeon I can be Alex. I don’t just want to treat patients I want to advance medicine and make something of myself. Grey Sloan is the place to do that, so I decided to apply here in spite of the fact that you’re here. If you think I would be here for some lengthy revenge plot then you must think I’m as crazy as mom and Aaron.”

“I never said that I just…I want to know if we’re gonna be able to work together. I need to know if there’s gonna be problems between us because we have patients and they don’t need to see-

“I can work with you Alex.” I say it with a cold tone, “It’s like I told you months ago, I did not come here so I could play family with my big brother who left me as fast as he possibly could, I came here for me.” Alex looks at me hurt and looks away, “I knew that you worked here but I also know that Grey Sloan has one of the best residency programs and I want to be the best surgeon that I can be. I’m a mature adult and if the time comes when I will be assigned to your service I will act like any other intern. Just because I disdain you personally doesn’t mean I’m gonna let it affect my work. I’ve worked too hard to get here all on my own no thanks to you and I’m not gonna screw it up. May I please be excused Dr. Karev?”

Alex sighs, “Yes.” My use of his title and last name made my feelings toward him clear. I finally turn around and walk away from him relieved to end this conversation.

Later

Andrew walks down the hall carrying his backpack heading to the mixer. He really needed a drink after catching his sister making out with Owen Hunt in a supply closet. He should be used to catching his sister with his friends but sadly it’s something he can never get used to. After Arizona left to go home he decided to drink for one instead. He turns left when he bumps into Amber causing him to drop his backpack and her purse.

“Oh god sorry.” Amber says not even noticing him as she kneels down along with him to pick up her stuff. She looks up and smiles as she recognizes him and he does the same, “Andrew.”

Andrew smiles at the sight of her, “Amber, hey I didn’t think you’d be here.” They both stand up, “I’m guessing that based on your dress and Grey Sloan badge that you got the job?”

“Yeah, I did, I start tomorrow.” Amber picks her purse up, “Are you heading out?”

“No, I’m headed to the mixer, aren’t you supposed to be there?”

Amber walks down the hall with Andrew, “I went for a bit but I decided to bail early.”

“How come?” Andrew asks.

“Well-” Amber was about to explain when Jo Wilson approaches her with a smile.

“Hi, you must be Amber, I’m Jo I’m gonna be your chief resident.” Jo holds out her hand which Amber shakes.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you, I was just gonna leave so…”

“Oh, that’s fine I just wanted to come by and introduce myself to the interns before tomorrow. I especially wanted to meet you and make sure that there isn’t any awkwardness between us in the future.” Amber and Andrew look at her confused.

“Why would things be awkward between us?” Amber asks Jo.

Jo answers with nervous chuckle, “Well um…Alex and I are dating and living together.”

Amber inhales and replies flatly, “Oh.”

Andrew furrows his eyebrows confused, “Why is that a problem? Do you know Karev?”

“Yeah, he’s my brother.” Amber replies nonchalantly causing Andrew’s eyes to widen and look at her in shock as she continues talking to Jo oblivious of his reaction, “Look what happens with you and Alex is your business and I would appreciate it if you and him don’t try to make it my own.”

“I wasn’t trying to; I know that your relationship with your brother is…complicated.” Amber snorts as Andrew rubs his jaw trying to process this new information, “I just wanted to let you know that I’m here to help you with whatever you need while you start your internship. I already did this with the other interns so you don’t have to worry about special treatment.”

Andrew finally snaps out of his frozen state and speaks, “I’m sorry your brother, Alex, is Alex Karev? The one who works here? Your Karev’s sister?”

Amber frowns at his weird reaction, “Yeah, do you know him?” Andrew stares at her with wide eyes and disbelief all over his face, “Andrew?”

Jo looks at both of them, “Do you two know each other?”

Andrew blinks and gets out of his shocked state with only mild surprise left on his face. Amber raises an eyebrow at his reaction and wants to ask him again how he knows Alex when Arizona approaches them.

“Hey, I left my keys at home can I borrow yours if your going to the mixer?” Arizona recognizes Amber and greets her, “Hey! I haven’t seen you since-”

Andrew panics and interrupts her before she can reveal information to Jo, “Have you met Karev’s sister, the new intern?”

Arizona stops and looks at him confused, “Karev’s sister?”

Jo pitches in confused by this scene, “Yeah her.” She points at Amber who just stands there with a questioning face at all of them.

Amber waves at Arizona, “Me and what’s your name? I didn’t catch it the other night when Andrew brought me to your house.” Jo’s eyes widen at Amber’s comment who doesn’t notice instead focused on Arizona who purses her lips at this awkward reunion. Andrew quietly sighs at his misfortune getting worse.

“Y-Yeah we didn’t really do an introduction that night.”

Amber chuckles, “Well we were both busy trying to score when he and sister got into a spat so I don’t really think that qualifies for a meet and greet party.” Andrew closes his eyes as Jo puts two and two together slightly grinning at what she walked into and how Amber is oblivious to Andrew’s suffering.

Arizona chuckles lightly trying to keep a straight face, “Yes that is very, very true um Arizona Robbins head of fetal surgery. I also taught your brother back when I was head of peds.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, well Bailey was his chief resident when he started and Webber was the chief back then as well but I was the one who showed him the ropes of peds when he showed interest.”

Amber nods at the tidbit, “That’s quite a lot of connections he has, I suppose there’s not gonna be one person I meet at this hospital who is somehow not tied to my estranged brother?”

Andrew pinches the bridge of his nose over the cruel irony of her question while Jo presses her lips together both amused and horrified. Arizona chuckles nervously as Amber furrows her eyebrows at her.

Amber turns to Andrew who tries to look normal, “Okay well uh I should get going its first day tomorrow and I need the rest but uh maybe we can meet up after and catch up like we said?”

Andrew clears his throat, “Um yeah maybe.” He doesn’t give a clear answer as this whole situation shocks him so much he can barely process it.

Amber grins, “Great see you tomorrow.” She addresses Jo and Arizona, “It was lovely to meet you both, good night.” Jo and Arizona say good night back as she leaves all three of them.

When Amber is out of earshot Jo turns to Andrew with a grin on her face while Arizona quietly snickers, “You…”

“It was not what it sounded like.” Andrew tries explaining to Jo who doesn’t buy it.

“Didn’t.” Jo finishes with a smile.

Andrew exhales in defeat and breaks down, “I did like twice I think.” Jo laughs along with Arizona while Andrew continues panicking, “Oh my god what did I do?”

Arizona chips in, “I think it’s pretty clear what you did although I don’t know the specifics.”

Andrew turns to Arizona with disbelief over her humor, “This is not funny this is far from funny this is my death sentence.”

“Why?” Jo asks.

Andrew looks at her incredulous, “Maybe because her brother beat me to a bloody pulp over something he thought I did to you and now he’s gonna kill me for something I definitely did to his little sister.”

Arizona rolls her eyes, “Oh come on you and Amber were two consenting adults that night and from what I saw of her in that short time she came of her own free will. Also I think Alex has learned his lesson from what happened and isn’t stupid enough to do that again.”

“And besides Alex is estranged from Amber and I don’t think beating up a guy she slept with once is gonna make it any better.” Jo explains.

Andrew looks at her confused, “They’re estranged?” Jo nods, “Why?”

Jo knows the story between Amber and Alex but doesn’t want to give anything away for fear of Amber being ridiculed over what happened to her so she decides to be vague, “It’s a long story and one I feel she should tell you about. I have to go have a goodnight.”

“Wait um can you maybe not um tell Alex about…this?” Andrew asks with pleading eyes.

“Don’t worry I won’t tell him that you unknowingly had a one night stand with his baby sister.” Jo chuckles again as she leaves. Andrew and Arizona are left in the hall with Andrew left numb from the recent event that happened which Arizona notices.

“Do you want to take advantage of the open bar?” Arizona asks to cheer him up.

“Yes please.” Andrew says and they both walk back to the mixer to drink their problems away.

[indramond]

It didn't start with me...

**Trigger Warning: Child abuse & maltreatment/Custody loss**

Today is the last day of PTSD Awareness month. Previously, I said I would share my CPTSD story. Well here it is:

I was diagnosed with CPTSD during the pandemic. This was a result of years of physical, emotional, and verbal abuse I experienced at the hands of my mother. My name sake...Eva Sophia Laveau. My mother is still among us and our relationship has improved but is still distant at times. There are rare occasions where the so-called mother who raised me rears her ugly head. There is one incident that constantly plays in my mind from when I was a child.

I was beaten by my mother for a miniscule offense. My crime...getting an attitude with my parents about having to go to the mall with them. I wanted to stay home and eat the Campbell's Chicken & Stars soap I had made at home. Soup will play another part in a traumatic incident with my father. But I digress. My punishment for my misbehavior...my mother pulling my hair and shaking me around the car so violently I spilled my soda from Burger King all over the car and my father. Once inside, she proceed to verbally assault me, punch me in the stomach, and whip me with a belt. She beat me to the floor and proceeded to jump up and down while whipping my back with the belt. I screamed out "mommy!" while covering my head and cowering in the fetal position in fear. This beating lasted what felt like an eternity. To add insult to injury, my father heard the whole thing and proceeded to mock me for days after the assault. He would say "mommy" in a fake weeping voice. I hated both of them for the longest of time. After the beating, my mother went on about her business as if nothing had happened.

I say that the trauma and CPTSD didn't start with me. My mother was abused by her mother, who was also raised by another toxic mother. Unfortunately I became abusive towards my own children and lost custody of them. My oldest who is 16 doesn't wanted to be hugged or kissed. She does not like touch in general because I spanked her so much as a little one. I can't fault her for feeling this way. I can't fault her for hating me. I didn't break the generational curse that was passed on to me by mother and grandmothers before me.

CPTSD has taught me a lot of things about myself. It taught me that the abuse I suffered was not justified. It doesn't define who I am. Unfortunately my mother modeled toxic behavior that I hoped I would not mimic. Sadly, I was wrong. So wrong. I hope someday to be able to build a healthy relationship with my children. I may not forgive my mother for what she...and at times my father...did. But I can work on forgiving myself and being a better person and mother.

[ithehellisbucky]

An Apocalyptic Romance

Cha Hyun-Su x Reader

Requested: "Why do you keep hanging around me?! Go with her, don't you like her?!" "But I like you." @leedosbunnyboy

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: A lot. Suicide mention, self harm (not only Hyun-Su), reader smokes and has a nicotine addiction, blood, trauma, shock, canon level violence, PTSD, survivor's guilt, everything in canon just with reader in it

Author's Note: After writing this I don't even want to write for the MCU anymore. I'm just not into that anymore, so let me know about that. It was my birthday on monday. And let's just say that it was a birthday.

~

It wasn't like in the movies. Yes, some people stepped up and some people wielded weapons to defend themselves against the monsters. But it wasn't like that.

No one relished power or freedom in this new world. No one enjoyed being the product of a science fiction novel. This wasn't how anyone's future was supposed to go.

Your neighbor had just moved in a month or so ago. His hair almost covered his eyes and at first, the only sign that he was alive was the weekly ramen deliveries that showed up at his door. If you hadn't seen those, you would have thought that there was no one living there at all.

You both happened to peek out your door at the same time when you heard loud screeching from down the hallway. Slowly following a trail of torn apart ramen packet heading toward your across the hall neighbor- a model.

When you saw her dead cat's skull scrape across the floor, being dragged by a disturbing and grotesque blood-soaked hand, you weren't able to stifle your scream. Luckily, he quickly slapped his hand over your mouth and moved slowly back away.

Your feet were planted on the ground. You couldn't move, couldn't breathe. You barely recognized it when he wrapped the arm that wasn't over your mouth around your torso and began to drag you with what little upper body strength he had.

In the moment, you were too terrified to even pick your feet off the ground, which was almost a saving grace, but unfortunately, your neighbor was too busy making sure you didn't scream and kill you both, that he didn't do the same.

The crunch of the dry noodles made you both freeze in place. After this you weren't so scared of the noise your mouth would make when you opened it, so you screamed as loud as you possibly could and your neighbor grabbed your hand and you ran together towards the door to his apartment.

You couldn't tell what was behind you and you didn't want to know. All you knew was that the soles of your shoes were covered in the cat's blood, and you were shivering in fear. You couldn't even will yourself to cry.

Your neighbor had a different reaction. He stared into space, in shock. It was at this moment that you realized you didn't even know the name of the man who saved your life.

"Um, what, what is your name again." You stuttered, unaware of how you should even approach this situation.

His gaze at the door was unwearying. "Cha Hyun-Su," His voice and his body didn't react, almost like his brain was already so traumatized that this situation was just like weight on a broken scale.

"My- my name is (y/n)."

He turned his head to face you, and you almost saw a glimmer of something in his eye, but he didn't say a word.

Hyun-Su might've said something in that moment, but you would never know, because the doorbell rang and interrupted your eye contact, causing you both to stare at the red door in terror.

He grabbed a bat and slowly walked towards the door, eventually reaching it and look on at the security camera monitor. You heard him mutter underneath his breath something about her hands until you heard loud feedback like sound and a body-shaped dent rammed into the door. Hyun-soo backed away in terror and held up the hockey stick in defense position. You grabbed an X-Acto knife you found lying on the ground next to his bed and clutched it close to your chest, frozen in fear.

The both of you stayed perfectly still for another few minutes until the ramming finally backed away. Hyun-Su ran to his computer and sat down in his gaming chair, as you stayed in place as if someone had covered you in a block of ice and left you to thaw.

Hyun-soo muttered to himself and you stayed still, for at least 45 minutes. Unmoving and incredibly, incredibly fazed.

Slowly, you and your neighbor had figured out the basic rules of this new universe.

Don't confront the monsters, never get a nose bleed, don't make a sound, always save others, and never leave Green Home.

Over time, you found something with Hyun-soo that you could never find anywhere else.

It wasn't perfect. It couldn't be in an imperfect world. But the way you looked at Hyun-soo when you thought that he wasn't looking was the most perfect thing there was here.

You didn't talk about it. Somehow talking about it would make it real, and reality can be twisted and ruined.

When Hyun-soo's nose started bleeding on the first few days of your alliance, you were terrified. But you pulled yourself together because no one could have been more terrified than him. As wrong and badly motivated as it is, you trusted him to tell you if he thought he would hurt you.

Together you decided to take the fight to the monsters or die trying.

There was screaming outside of your window. Kids, screaming for their father from several floors above. You watched in horror as the monster tore their father from their building, and he fell onto the ground below.

By this time Hyun-soo was at the window with you today too. You managed to distract the monster and fight him off, and you set off on a mission to save the children.

On your quest, you met Dusik Hahn, a wheelchair-bound man who made weapons for you to fight off the monsters with. He made a knife stick for Hyun-Su, and he took your small Exacto knife and made it into a deadly dagger for close-range combat. Not exactly a situation you wanted to be in, but a situation you might as well be prepared for.

You made the slow journey to save the kids and ran into another group of two, the bassist that you heard thumping through your floor sometimes, and a god-devoted teacher wielding a sword.

You had managed to recognize the monster-hunting the children and narrowly rescued the kids in the meantime.

Right as you had made your way out of the direct danger, Hyun-Su stopped. His nose was bleeding.

"Take the children." He said, clutching his nose.

"Hyun-" You said, reaching for him and trying to help him.

"TAKE THE CHILDREN AND RUN!"

You didn't want to argue, you ran down the stairs and hid yourself and the children in a closet, praying to whatever cruel god was out there that Hyun-Su would be the one walking down those stairs and not a monster.

There was a thumping noise coming down the stairs, and you covered both the children's mouths and clamped yours shut. You only opened your mouth when you could see very clearly that it was Hyun-Su and not a monsterized version of himself.

You let out a sigh of relief and threw the door open, wrapping your arms around Hyun-Su and his blood-soaked hoodie. He awkwardly patted you on the back, body as stiff as a board, as that was the extent of what you could really do.

You didn't talk about what happened to him, or that you saw his eyes turn blackout of the corner of your eyes. He wasn't the same as he was before, but he wasn't fully a monster either. It was the only Hyun-Su that you had ever known. And you like what you see.

You dropped off the kids at Dusik's apartment and set off on a journey to the lobby on the ground floor.

There weren't that many monsters that attacked you on your journey down. You ignored all the ones that ignored you.

When you reached the first floor you saw a ghastly sight. Many of your neighbors were there, and they all looked entirely broken. You got the situation you described to by Eun-Hyuk, a medical student that you had seen around the building and working on his laptop in cafes near the apartment complex.

Everyone seemed pretty nice, except for the asshole convenience store owner. Some people hated Eun-Hyuk, but you felt bad for him. He didn't want to let that girl die and he didn't want to hurt people, he was just trying to save as many people as he could, and being a hero couldn't be easy.

You met his sister Eun-Yoo, you had seen her dancing on the roof when you went up there to breathe and to smoke. She seemed taken to Hyun-Su, and he seemed a little bit smitten by her. You hate to admit it, but you felt jealous.

She was beautiful, and feminine, and unapologetic, all the things that you weren't. He couldn't not like her.

When the rest of the neighbors found out that Hyun-Su was some sort of monsterized version of himself, there was naturally an uproar.

It was entirely silent when all of the residents were crammed into the preschool room, silently waiting for Eun-Hyuk to tally the results of the vote.

It was a tie. A perfect tie, between banishment and acceptance. Because that's how it always seems to go.

The nasty convenience store owner, Suk-Hyun, was screaming at Hyun-Su, right up until his nose began to bleed. He started pleading for his life, and Hyun-Su walked up at tallied the vote against himself, only to make sure Suk-Hyun went in with him.

When Hyun-Su and Suk-Hyun were trapped in an empty office, you brought him ramen and sat down in front of the chained storefront and ate with him.

Silently, you sat together. What you didn't know, is that whenever you were looking down Hyun-Su was looking at you.

Over the next week a lot of stuff happened, you rescued more people, lost some, been through more tragedy and trauma than anyone should have to go through in their entire life, and throughout it all, you and Hyun-Su stayed stuck together.

Hyun-Su and Eun-Yoo grew closer, they would talk together and you would often see her staring at him from across the room.

Eun-Yoo was good, and she was kind to the people that deserved it. Sure, she was violent, mildly sadistic, and cold, but she was still a good person. Yet you hated her. You hated her because Hyun-Su wanted her more than he wanted you.

It wasn't like you to be a jealous or pretentious or possessive person, but you wanted Hyun-Su more than you wanted most things. And sometimes life just works out that way. In horrible, jealous and violent ways.

You were sitting with Hyun-Su in an empty hallway on the first floor. You were both trying to ignore the fact that the door you were guarding had the bodies of a 10-year-old and a soldier behind it.

This world wasn't fun or easy. It was an adventure and it wasn't an epic. It was just real life. And real life is broken. You saw the scars on Hyun-Su's wrist when his hoodie sleeve rode up. You saw the way he looked at the sobbing mother mourning her daughter. You overheard Eun-Yoo talking about Hyun-Su killing himself.

You had scars on your body too. Cigarette burns across your hands from where the butt fell off, times where you pushed it into the palm of your hand and the sides of your finger when you were drunk or too tired to run it under water or throw it out the window and all you could do is lay there and take the pain.

Real-life was broken. Hyun-Su was broken. You were broken. This world is broken.

You realized that in your self-sabotaging state you had let a tear slip out of the corner of your eye.

"(y/n)." Hyun-Su was looking up at you from his ramen.

"Oh, uh sorry." You took your finger and wiped your tear away. He had enough on his plate already, he didn't need to know the raging jealousy that was growing inside you.

You were Hyun-Su's friend. He was your friend. He didn't love you, you were the person he could trust to remain consistent. He might not have loved Eun-Yoo, but he didn't love you. He couldn't love you.

"What's wrong (y/n)?" He was too pure. Someone who's been through so much and done so many bad, bad messed up things couldn't be that pure.

You didn't say anything. You took your spork and put another spoonful of hot ramen into your mouth. It burned a little bit, but you didn't mind.

"(y/n)?" He put down his food and scooted a little bit closer to you, still as shy as always "I need to know you're okay."

The link in the chain around your heart finally broke, "I'm not okay." You run your hand over your head as you look up at him, "You like Eun-Yoo, and that's okay, so why are you hanging out with me? I'm nothing compared to her!"

You finally shouted, agony stabbing through the heart that is no longer protected.

You put the ramen down and it kicks over when you stand up, water and noodles falling everywhere all over the floor. You don't even care, you just need to get away from Hyun-Su. You're walking away with a stomp when a hand grabs your wrist. It's Hyun-Su, obviously. Curse his weird half-monster superpowers.

"But I don't like Eun-Yoo," he grabs your other hand. "I like you."

It never even occurred to you that Hyun-Su could even like you a little bit. It was more like a fever dream that could never come true but that you can still fantasize about.

"What?" You ask, still not believing him.

He pulls you closer to him, little by little "I like you, (y/n)." This is the most assertive and straightforward that you had ever been. It shocks you. But he said your name, which means that he must mean you. He must mean you.

Before you realize it you are in his embrace and your arms are wrapped around each other. Finally allowed yourselves to be vulnerable within the comfort of one another.

You don't need to say anything, and neither does he, you both know exactly what to do now- just be there.

"Fucking finally," You both turn around and see Eun-Yoo standing at the end of the hall, a cigarette dangling from her mouth and a smirk on her lips.

~

My Masterlist

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Sweet Home:

[bonvoyagenoona]

Feeling Good | JHS

Genre: Songfic based on Feeling Good by Sammy Davis Jr.

Pairings: Hobi x Reader

Rating: 18+ / Mature / Explicit

Themes & Content Warnings: Strangers to lovers, implied / referenced cheating, smut (vaginal sex)

Word Count: 4.3k | read on ao3

Author’s Note: For @skyys-universe‘s ask! Thank you, friend -- sent me into my Hobi feels!

Permanent Taglist: @purpleheartsfortae​ @btseditsworld​ @greezenini  @missbickerbocker @dearbambideer @helenazbmrskai @morti13 @skyys-universe @somewhereofftheglobe @imaginativedreams @dreamamubarak

Hobi can’t help but think of you when he fucks her. 

He isn’t sure if it’s because five years, four months, three weeks, and two days of dating someone makes them a blank canvas all over again, easily replaceable with other daydreams that the brain now so quickly conjures. At one point, she was a famous model. Another, the bodega owner around the corner. More recently, his college sweetheart. But now, every time he runs his hands down her back, he imagines the ridges of your spine. Every time he kisses her, he wonders about the taste of your lips. Every time he slides into her, he swears that he’s feeling the way that you might clench around him. 

He isn’t sure if it’s because she’s already cheated on him. She has confessed. He’s sure there are more instances that she hasn’t. People in his life, close friends, some family, have attempted to commiserate with him. Told him that their worlds fell apart when their significant others came to them with similar stories. The “We need to talk”s. The “I don’t know how it happened”s. The “It didn’t mean anything”s. The “I’m sorry”s. Hobi isn’t one to downplay people’s traumas. But he still hasn’t found someone he can truly talk to. Someone who, after learning these sorts of revelations, whose world didn’t crumble, but did just the opposite. Someone whose world just… made a little more sense, somehow.

He isn’t even sure of what he’s feeling. He’s not sad. Not when he thinks about her cheating on him. He’s not angry. Not when he thinks of other women when he fucks her. He’s not regretful. Not after they’d stayed together for a whole two additional years, working on their relationship. He knows they can go the distance. But he does wonder if it’s as simple as just not wanting to anymore.

All he knows, all he’s certain of, is that he’s felt this way about you since seeing you at the usual after-work scene at the local bar. He didn’t know anything about you then. Not your name. Not your job. Not even your drink, his sight of the bartender’s hands having been obscured more than once by the rowdy group that’s always next to you, led by that one pitiful ringleader always trying to get your number.

He also doesn’t know how well he’s about to get to find out. Your drink, when he finally thinks to ask the bartender. Your job, when you tell him, after he’s joined you for a conversation. And your name, when he whisper-moans it into your ear as his thick, throbbing cock enters you.

He looks down at his three-piece, gray, plaid-patterned suit and somewhat sadly adjusts his stylish, maroon tie. Though the bar is always jam-packed with the same neutral, earth-toned business attire, complemented by trench coats and briefcases and the like, the bar has felt emptier with your absence. 

“Still no sight of your girlfriend?” Jimin teases a little too loudly.

“Hey!” Hobi leans forward, careful not to disturb any of the bottles on the table, and glares at him, plus the two other junior associates that inexplicably ended up in his care on their first day at the firm and haven’t left his side since. He knows they mean well. “Just… Shut up!”

“C’mon, we all know you have a crush on that one girl,” Taehyung sighs, energetically flouncing his eyebrows.

“You should ask her out,” Jungkook says, dead serious.

“People know me here,” Hobi hisses. “You keep at it, and people are going to talk.”

“People already talk,” Jungkook says, leaning forward in his seat, as Jimin and Taehyung drunkenly giggle alongside him. “And do you know what they say when they talk, hyung?”

“Oh?” Hobi replies. “And what’s that?”

Jungkook leans, straightforward, his body like his answer. “People say you should break up with your girlfriend because this situation is stupid.” He sighs, and his breath smells like beer. “With what she did to you…” A flash of anger enters his eyes. “Fuck, hyung, her boss? And then her ex? Watching you these past two years, I—” Jungkook’s eyes widen. “I mean, people, people don’t know why you even bother with her.”

“Uh-huh.” Hobi turns to Taehyung. “What else do people say?” 

“People say you should break up with your girlfriend because you’ve kind of been a lamer version of yourself since she came clean and you chose to stay with her,” Taehyung gently critiques.

“People say you should break up with your girlfriend because I’m bored,” Jimin admits, lazily stirring the remainder of his drink.

“Well, sorry I’m not as entertaining as you all had hoped,” Hobi says dryly, reaching for his glass.

“Seriously, hyung,” Jimin says. “It’s not healthy. And it isn’t fun.” The look in Jimin’s eyes. Full of pity. “I may be bored, but you are unhappy.”

“And how do you know what happiness is?” Hobi asks, voice growing a bit louder, body shifting in the booth, hands readjusting his tie. 

“Great, you’ve unlocked Sage Wisdom mode,” Jungkook mutters to Taehyung and Jimin.

“Have any of you had a relationship last longer than an orgasm?” Hobi asks. 

“You don’t know my life,” Taehyung mutters to himself. “My orgasms could last months.”

“Have any of you really bared your soul to someone?” Hobi presses on. “Shown them the deepest, darkest parts of you? Hoping to be accepted and loved unconditionally? The kind of thrill that comes with that?”

“The kind of heartbreak when all that gets whisked away, disappearing into the trash, tied up in your girlfriend’s ex’s condom?” Jungkook counters.

The image of that condom in the garbage can doesn’t even jar Hobi anymore. “Part of the territory,” he accepts. He takes another swig of his beer. “And she didn’t wear a condom, by the way.”

“Jesus fucking— OK, look, I don’t know what happiness or love is, or whatever, fine,” Jimin says, rolling his eyes, “but what I do know is that when that one girl comes into this bar? You glow.” Jimin’s eyes stop rolling, and they fill with admiration. “You glow like you used to.”

Hobi knows they’re right. Deep in the pulsating pit of his stomach, he just knows. Because he feels himself glow around you. He feels your radiant smile, your bright eyes, and your lilting laugh lifting him up into the stars. He was content to soar along with you. He thought he’d lost the ability to glow. Until now, he didn’t know anybody else was paying attention.

“We’ve been harsh,” Taehyung says meaningfully, locking eyes with Hobi to make sure no boundaries have been crossed.

“You have,” Hobi replies, “but you can be honest and harsh at the same time.”

“We just want to see you happy,” Jungkook reinforces, “regardless of what brings you that happiness.”

“But it couldn’t hurt if you tried to get to know that girl,” Jimin can’t help but add, raising his eyebrows and looking away as he sings the words enticingly. “There’s plenty of fish in the sea. The river’s running free.” He smirks at Hobi. “But isn’t her pretty face like a blossom on a tree?”

“I doubt she’s even still around,” Hobi replies. When he looks at the rest of the group, he surrenders. He sighs and summarizes the thoughts he’s had over the past few weeks. “I honestly haven’t seen her in a while. I was wondering if she was just visiting or something. Maybe she was a temp. Maybe she was fired.”

“Maybe she’s on vacation,” Taehyung replies.

Hobi looks around the bar pointedly, at all the black cards and pinstripes and polished shoes. “Since when has anybody from this part of town taken a fucking vacation?” he demands. He hears his girlfriend’s voice ringing in his ears. How that very fact was one of the things that led her to other beds.

“Fair point,” Taehyung answers meekly.

Hobi waves his hands over the empty beer bottles, as if trying to shoo away a fly. “We’re making this into something bigger than it is. I hear you. I’ll think more seriously about what would finally make me happy..”

“You know what, though?” Taehyung asks. “To your point, fuck happy. Who do we know who’s happy?” He shrugs. “What about starting with just… feeling good?”

Hobi isn’t sure how many drinks he’s had. The juniors have all left for the second spot for the night, despite their insistence that Hobi join them. But he kind of likes that the bar is clearing out. Despite the trappings of his better-known persona, he happens to like the lulls and quiet periods. Maybe that’s what’s keeping him there.

Those lulls can be good things. Taking a breath. Taking a moment. They can lead to more breaths, and more moments. 

Like the shivering breath you exhale the moment you step into the bar.

Hobi is pretty sure he’s drunk out of his mind when he sees you. But whoever you are, you’re gliding past all the burgundy booths identical to the one he’s been sitting in and taking your usual spot at the bar. You’re folding your usual coat and purse into your lap. You’re dressed like you usually are, in a fitted, long-sleeved, A-line dress — this one’s cream with delicate black outlines at the cuffs, collar, buttons, and hem — and a sensibly-heeled shoe. And you’re tossing your hair to the side as you look down at your phone, those gorgeous locks swimming down your smooth back, only slightly less voluminous at the end of a long day.

The bartender startles Hobi from behind. “Sorry,” the bartender replies. “Just wanted to swing by and clear out your empties.”

“Thanks,” Hobi says. He notices the huge trash can peeking out from the far end of the bar. “Um, actually, let me help you…” 

Together, they collect all the bottles, most from earlier, and walk over.

Over to you.

As Hobi gets nearer and nearer to you, he swallows and whispers, “Hey, so, um, that girl?”

“Mmhmm?” the bartender asks.

“What’s her drink?” Hobi asks.

“Depends,�� the bartender says. He stops just short of getting within your earshot. “If she’s mad or upset, she gets tequila. Otherwise, usually a glass of whatever sweet wines we have. Usually the Bartenura moscato.”

“Cool,” Hobi says, following the bartender to the far end of the bar and dropping off some bottles.

The bartender smirks as he watches Hobi run his hand through his hair before heading over to you and nervously hovering over one stool away.

You don’t really notice him at first. But if he had been at his Hobi happiest, you wouldn’t have been able to miss him. Hobi’s true nature is that of a firecracker, or a flare. A rocket of light, color, and energy that has no choice but to go off when set aflame.

All you get is a little bit of a shimmer when you look up at him, and he smiles. “Hi.” He stretches out his hand for a handshake. “I’m Jung Hoseok. But I go by Hobi.” He nods back at the bar windows, displaying the now-empty street. “I work for the Bangtan Firm. I know you work for Cho’s team.”

You grin. “Oh. Yeah.” You accept his handshake. “Hi. Nice to meet you, Hobi.”

He barely makes out your name when you share it. Stunned doesn’t begin to cut it for him. He gazes at your smile. He hasn’t seen it this close.

“Uh, I hope this isn’t rude or forward or anything,” he tells you, letting go of your precious hand and shifting his stance a little awkwardly. “Just wondered if you’d be interested in having a drink with me.”

“Sure,” you say. “Have a seat.”

Hobi sits down one stool away, and you’re left wondering if he’s one of the increasingly rare nice people that you’ll meet in life, or if he’s only putting on an air of respect. You go with your first hunch, telling yourself that you’ll stay alert for evidence of the second. But as he smiles at you, so unsure of himself, but so happy to join you at the bar, you wonder how vigilant you’ll really need to be.

“So, how do you feel today?” he asks you.

You’re thrown a little by the question. Not a regular “how are you”. Something just a little different. “Um… fine?” you respond, chuckling.

“No, really,” Hobi replies. “How do you feel?”

You shrug. Things have generally been busy but good. You tell him so.

“How good?” Hobi asks. “Like, ‘At least I haven’t lost a limb today’ good? Or, like, ‘Christmas morning’ good?”

You giggle again. Yes, you’re confused. But you’re also intrigued. 

“Somewhere in the middle?” you try. 

“If you had to pick.”

“Uh… I guess…” You shift in your seat, leaning to your right. “Well, I had a really important client meeting today, and it went well, so… I guess… closer to ‘Christmas morning’ good?”

Hobi narrows his eyes at you, as if scanning you for something. And then he turns to the bartender, who is rounding the corner and coming to take your drink orders.

“I’ll have another beer, and she’ll have a Bartenura moscato,” Hobi tells him.

The bartender smiles and nods before going to work. 

You chuckle at that cheeky bartender before your eyes settle happily on Hobi. “You just divined that, did you?” you laugh.

Hobi shrugs. He tosses a glance at the bartender before looking back at you. “So I’ve got connections.”

You sigh playfully and turn your body toward Hobi, resting your elbow on the bar and rolling your eyes. “Please don’t tell me you’re just another barfly in the financial district trying to wow me with how handsome and well-connected you are.”

“Handsome?” Hobi asks, with a smile. 

You blush.

“What if I am trying to wow you?” Hobi asks.

Your pout turns into a smirk. “Then I’d tell you to keep that buffer seat between us.”

Hobi holds your gaze as he gets up and moves to the stool right next to you. Knees nearly knocking. Arms nearly grazing.

Sharing a smile with Hobi is like sharing food. You feel fuller. Calmer. Nourished. That’s the air settling around you, as you get more comfortable in your seats and your smiles take it in turns to be excited, and embarrassed, and bashful, and curious.

Suddenly, he seems to notice something. He holds out his empty hands, and you stare at them with a puzzled look. 

“Uh… what—”

“Your coat and purse,” he tells you. He gestures to the underside of the bar, at a conveniently placed hook.

“Shit, have those been there this whole time?” you ask, flabbergasted. It’s been months.

You look back up to Hobi, who just smiles and holds out his hands again. You raise your eyebrows and hand him your things, and he carefully hangs your folded coat, as well as your purse, such that neither touch the sticky floor.

“They installed them last week,” Hobi informs you. “But I guess you were… away…” He glances down to your empty lap, chewing his lip slightly at the sight of your skirt folding in where your thighs meet. 

You catch him staring. Admiring. And you can’t help but feel flattered. You cross your legs, making Hobi’s mouth open, as he watches your skirt rise up your thigh just a little.

You run your hand up that thigh and readjust your weight to smooth your skirt down again. Hobi’s eyes drag along your skin, and his tongue licks his lips as your skirt settles.

“I was on a work trip,” you reply. “Or did you already divine that, too?” 

He smiles. “I was hoping it wasn’t anything permanent.” He leans on the bar. “I noticed you hadn’t been coming around as much.” 

Hobi looks down at the wood grain, the chips and divots trailing along those long lines. He wonders how many people have set their drinks here and chipped away at the wood with their fingernails, like he is now. 

He wonders how many people have thought about what he’s thinking about doing next.

“Keeping tabs on me?” you ask, slightly stiff.

“You’re…” Hobi smiles. “Easy to notice.”

He hasn’t looked at you directly in a while, but he’s keeping you in his periphery. 

“We keep talking about me,” you say, picking up your drink. “What about you? What’s got you here at this bar, after-hours?”

Hobi is finding it interesting how light his smile feels. How nothing feels bogged down. No regrets. No shame. No misgivings. Just… lightness.

The bartender places your drinks in front of Hobi and gives him another encouraging, kind smile. 

“It’s a new life. A new world. A bold world.” Hobi slides your glass over to you. His fingers graze yours. “I think I’ve just made a pretty big decision,” he explains.

“Which is?” you ask.

You blink a couple of times, your lashes touching the rim of your glass as you take your first sip. When he doesn’t answer, even after you’ve set your drink back on your coaster, you grin and ask again, “Well… what is it?”

Hobi glances down at your lap again and takes a sip of his beer before answering. 

“That I want to feel good.”

When you knit your eyebrows and tilt your head, Hobi goes on.

“I don’t know about you, but I haven’t felt good, like, truly good, in a while,” he explains further. “I haven’t done anything for myself in a while. Haven’t indulged. Treated. Cared. So I’m going to do that. Live with a little more selfishness.” 

Something dangerous flashes in Hobi’s eyes. 

“Do things that feel good,” he murmurs.

You scoff. “Is that some kind of proposition?”

“Only if you’re interested,” Hobi replies.

You laugh gently. “Right.”

“Think about it,” Hobi replies. “You had a great day at work, and you’re sitting here, enjoying your drink, having a relatively pleasant conversation with a stranger, and on the Feeling Good scale that I gave you, you still only consider today to be lukewarm. Halfway. Neutral.” 

You consider it. And you realize that Hobi’s right. It’s been a while since you’ve really felt anything, let alone felt good.

“It’s a big revelation to have, isn’t it?” Hobi asks, lighting up at the recognition in your eyes.

The flame of your burnout tickles your feet. “Yeah, actually,” you admit, taking a breath and glancing off into space.

“Well,” Hobi replies, after another drink from his bottle, “you can have that revelation for free.”

“Or maybe I’ll buy you your drink,” you tease. “Settle the tab I’ve somehow opened up with you now.”

“No. Buy me a drink when I’ve done something to earn it,” Hobi tells you.

“I haven’t done anything to earn this one,” you point out. 

Hobi just meets you with a cryptic grin. 

With him, you’ll find that you grin a lot. And you’ll find yourself having lots of breaths and moments. Breaths pushed out heartily in gut-busting laughs. Moments where you catch yourself for feeling extremely flattered, or surprised, or just really comfortable. Every time you’ll see him, you won’t just feel butterflies, but dragonflies, buzzing about in your stomach. 

Meeting Hobi is the first thing in this new city that’s made you feel like this. The first thing that has made you feel good.

And when you find something that makes you feel good, you don’t let it slip away.

Your back slams into the wall with the painting, which rattles upon impact. Your elbows are going to bruise. You like that your elbows are going to bruise.

“Been wanting this,” Hobi groans, picking you up and securing your legs around his waist as he shoves you further into the wall with his kiss. 

You grab fistfuls of his hair as you ride up and down his torso, grinding your flesh anxiously into him as you’re still trying to figure out which emotion you’re feeling now. They’re all exploding at once. Thrilled. Confused. Nervous. 

Good.

“Hands,” you whine, desperate to feel his on you again. 

As you stay locked in a slow, winding kiss, he pries one of his hands from the wall and circles his arm around your hips, clutching you tightly, forearm digging into your hip. The bony part of his wrist pokes at you as his hand clasps around, fingertips close to your navel.

You grunt, tugging at his other hand, still propping him up against the wall. With each insistent slap, claw, or karate chop to his arm, you both giggle, lips still entwined.

“Hands,” you moan needily, wanting to feel not just one, but both, all over you.

Hobi grunts and wraps his arms around you, letting you fall back against the wall again, the base of your neck filling with pressure as both of your bodies rely on it so as not to crash to the floor.

You kiss, and grind, and moan for what seems like eternity. But it starts to get hot. Too hot. 

Because of the layers.

Too many layers of clothing are between you.

Hobi hoists you up and then sets you down on your feet, your thighs shaking just a little bit. 

You both scramble out of your clothes, leaving them where they fall as you kiss and clumsily make your way to the bedroom.

It smells like Hobi. Looks like Hobi. Shows how Hobi thinks. How he is. Low lights already setting the mood. No clutter. Sheets pristinely tucked in, with perfect hospital corners. Warm, and open, but sharp.

He lays you on the bed and takes in a deep, heavy breath before settling on top of you. Gorgeous how your neck bends the moonlight. He chases the beams with his lips. He won’t catch them if his fingers continue their skilled work at your entrance. 

You gasp for air, and Hobi bites down on your skin.

Your arms wrap around his forearm, and your hips start to rise. 

His hands slide up your back, and he pulls you into him, slow and hypnotic movements coming from his hips as he slides his rigid cock in and out of your slathered folds.  

“Please fuck me,” you beg. So, so needy.

He bends down to kiss a trail from your lips to your full and touch-starved breasts. He’s sorry that you’ve been so touch-starved. And he’s thrilled at the prospect of getting to be the one who satiates you.

Still, he can’t help but tease a little. “Don’t you want more of my hands?”

“Please?” you beg again, reaching out for him.

Hobi smirks at your wide, pleading, shimmering eyes. Like stars, when you shine. Like the dawn of a new day’s morning dew.

He slides into you. It barely takes any effort. You’re so wet, and he’s so ready. He slides in, and you both start to pant as his strokes move faster and faster. Long, powerful, meaningful strokes that touch every inch of both of your hidden flesh. Each of his pulsing, strained veins hits a different part of you, and you react in ways that Hobi could only dream of. Your purrs, your moans, your “ooh”s and “ahh”s. He’s getting lost in all those dreams of you. When you start to squeal warningly, he leans down and nibbles your earlobe, slowing his pace a little in case he’s getting too rough. Whispers your name. It feels so, so good coming out of his mouth.

He pumps into you again, pulling back, shutting his eyes, and starting to come at you with everything that’s inside of him. Everything you’d given him, all somehow wrapped up in that first smile back at the bar.

When you clench around him, he bites his lip and raises his brows, wrinkles appearing on his forehead, skin and muscle bunching up in places like these to help him unleash everything that he’s got.

After you come, wild and loud, Hobi slaps your thigh. God, he loves your thighs. Wants them around him every chance he’ll get. Would devour them whole if he could.

His strokes become shallow, keeping his shaft inside of you, but working his tip against your narrowest parts. You’re still shivering from your release, and he uses your spasming muscles to help edge him closer and closer to his own. Soon, he’s whining and buckling, threatening to collapse on top of you. He doesn’t see it, and he’s so beside himself that he isn’t sure if it’s real, but he swears he feels your hand welcomingly stroking up his back as he finally comes.

He lets out a sigh. And then a chuckle. And then a laugh. More laughs. Free laughs.

Still tickled, he rolls onto his side, and then onto his back.

But when he turns his head, he doesn’t see you. 

He sees her. 

Eyes closed. All smiles. Completely dazed. Head circling in a slow, spacey orbit. Mouth babbling.

“Where the hell did that come from?” his girlfriend gasps, still writhing, utterly delighted. “God, we haven’t had it like that in a while. Fuck.” She turns to Hobi, lying on his back. “How do you feel?” She giggles. “And what did you whisper in my ear? You had me moaning so much that I didn’t…”

Her words don’t matter. So many things are running through Hobi’s mind. Birds flying high. Sun in the sky. A breeze drifting on by. Ruffling your skirt, traveling up your thigh.

So many things run through his mind, all of them centered around you. How you said yes to dinner. How you left him with a perfect hug, hand running up his back as you pulled away. How you both lingered in the doorway and gazed at each other thoughtfully, and then looked away sheepishly. 

The feeling of your name escaping his lips.

That cryptic grin spreads out across Hobi’s face.

And then, finally, finally, he gets to be the one who says it. 

“We need to talk.”

[messrmoonyy]

Have you seen that popular post of tonks going to Remus class after the war and taking teddy with her? cood your write something with that? Please 😃

I sure have anon! I loved this. Some happiness amongst all the angsty asks I have lmao.

I took some mild creative liberties with the conversational abilities of portraits and the timeline is slightlyyyy wobbly. But enjoy

Read my other writing in my masterlist and feel free to drop me a request

Pairing: Remus lupin x Nymphadora Tonks

Warnings: none

When Tonks woke up Remus was already gone, her fingers reached around blindly on his side of the bed and found nothing but cold sheets and she groaned. In the year that they had been living at Hogwarts with Remus back teaching again, she had gotten herself into the habit of waking up with him. But Teddy had simply refused to sleep last night so she had been up for hours with him so that Remus could sleep. She opened her eyes and saw there was a steaming mug of tea on the bedside dresser with a little note propped against it and she reached over to grab it.

'My dear Dora,

Don't be mad at me for not waking you, you needed to rest. I checked on Teddy before I left. I have a class of 6th years 3rd period so feel free to come down if you want to. I have a free afternoon too, so tea in Hogsmede?

Yours always, Remus'

She smiled and sat up in bed stretching her arms up above her head with a yawn, grimacing slightly as her arm popped. It was one of the main reasons she still hadn’t gotten back fully into working herself, an injury from the war that still hadn’t recovered. The curse still that had hit her making it seem like it might not ever recover properly. Madam Pomfrey saw her once a week to help with it, but it wasn’t much better really.

She felt quite useless some days. She was desperate to get back into working again. She was never one for just lazing around doing nothing. She had been offered her job back at the ministry when ever she was ready to return to it, a hefty promotion waiting for her too. She still dis small things for the ministry, Kingsley has worked very closely with her and Remus on getting equal rights for Lycanthropes, made wolfsbane much more accessible. But for now she didn’t really mind that much, it meant having plenty of time with Remus and Teddy. Now in terms of work she she just helped out around the school where she could, because they didn't mind if she brought Teddy along with her. Some days she helped out in the hospital wing, her extensive knowledge on healing coming in handy. Other days helped with Minervas homework study groups, helped Remus plan his classes, she kept busy.

Teddy started to fuss and she got out of bed with a roll of her shoulder to try ease the morning pain. She peered into his cot to see him wide eyed and awake. He had Remus’ eyes. Big and brown and beautiful. He looked so much like Remus, she knew the older he got he’d simply be a double of his dad. Minerva was already joking that with them looking so identical now she would resign the day he was old enough to attend Hogwarts. With Remus and Tonks as his parents he was certain to have a mischievous streak in him for certain. It was practically fate.

" my silly boy huh " she said as she saw he’d managed to completely change ends he was sleeping on. She smiled, rolling her eyes with a smile and picked him up. His hair was a vibrant shade of red today, like the phone boxes back in London. His hair was the one of the only thing that seemed to change about him at the moment but he was already starting to control it. He had seemed to have learnt how to change his hair to match who he wanted to be held by when he was particularly grumbly. Which made things particularly difficult if they were staying at the Weasleys. But also quite cute when they would visit Harry and a little scar would appear on his head. She didn't even mind that just lately it would go brown more often than pink because seeing Remus and Teddy together was one of the greatest feelings in the world. Seeing Remus happy was one of the greatest feelings in the world. Because he so often would wake up in the night in a cold sweat as his nightmares replayed all the trauma of the war back to him. But work kept him distracted. And Teddy did. And she did. And though he would never admit it, the fact that he was sole income for the family now kept him motivated too.

She carried him over to her bed and sat down with to feed him, knowing that must be the reason he was fussing. It was quite peaceful sitting there in her room with him, it was raining outside and the rain hitting the window panes was almost melodic. Remus loved the rain and she’d grown to love it as well, sometimes convincing him to go out dancing around in it with her. If she listened closer she could hear the chatter of the children, she glanced at the clock and saw second period would be starting in 5 minutes so they were noisily moving between their classes. Even though there were no classrooms by the teachers wing in the castle, she could still hear them.

When Teddy had had his fill she propped him up on her pillows as she opened up his little wardrobe to get him something to wear. There was a quidditch friendly later on the evening, so she pulled out his little hufflepuff quidditch jumper ready. Molly had knitted it for him and it was an almost perfect replica. Even though Harry had tried to convince her he should be wearing Gryffindor. But even Remus agreed Teddy would be a hufflepuff. Through and through.

" wanna go see daddy teach later, hmm? You like being in his classroom don't you? Mummy does too because daddy looks very handsome in his teaching robes doesn't he? He does " she said as started to get him changed, unhooking his foot that he had shoved into his mouth “ are you going to be a good boy whilst he’s teaching? My good boy huh? “ Teddy gurgled an answer and went back to trying to get his foot into his mouth again.

With a half hour or so to go until his 6th year class she left their quarters and took Teddy down to his second favourite place in the castle. In one of the corridors off the main entrance hall a long row of portraits of those that had been lost in the war had been hung. Including one of Sirius. The first time they had seen it both Remus and Dora had cried only to have had the painted Sirius tell them both to grow a pair. But getting to introduce Teddy to his family was worth it, even if it did still make her emotional to see his face and hear his voice again.

When she reached Sirius frame he wasn't in it and she rolled her eyes knowing exactly where he would be. She walked down a couple more portraits to Fred Weasleys. And there was Sirius. Turns out even painting Sirius and Fred were mischievous and Sirius acted like the marauder he once was around Fred as they tried to play pranks on the others in the hall.

" do you ever actually stay in your frame?" Tonks said with a smile, bouncing Teddy lightly on her hip.

" Tonksie! And my little man! " Teddy started laughing as he heard Sirius voice and made grabby hands towards him. Tonks held him to the frame and Sirius pulled stupid faces at the little boy making him laugh even more. She wished Sirius was still around to truly play with Teddy. To make him laugh and turn him into the little prankster she knew he would grow up to be. But a portrait would all she was going to get nowadays. So she took what she could get " where's moons? Teaching? "

" yeah. We're going to see him now. Arent we Ted? Gonna see daddy? “ Teddy’s hair shifted brown at the mention of his dad and with a slight worry he would start crying and disturb classes, she said a quick goodbye to Sirius and made her way down to Remus’ classroom. She was a little early but Remus tended to let his class go early if he knew she was coming down.

And as exactly as she had suspected he had let his 3rd years go early when she arrived and they were piling out of the room. They all smiled as they saw her, all of Remus’ students knowing who she was.

" morning Mrs Lupin! "

" hi Ted! Hi Mrs Lupin! "

" good morning Mrs Lupin, oh hiyya Teddy! " some of the children greeted her as they left the classroom and she smiled at them all eagerly still just loving the sound of ' Mrs Lupin ' as she stepped into the classroom Remus had his back to her, tidying something on his desk and she snuck up behind him, wrapping her free arm around his waist.

" hi " she said softly and stood up on her tip toes to kiss his cheek. He turned in her embrace immediately, a smile gracing his faces the sight of his family. He leant down to kiss her only to be disturbed by Teddy yanking on his hair.

" oh I'm sorry, does someone feel left out? " Dora said with a laugh and handed him over to Remus who kissed his nose and both his chubby cheeks.

" kisses for both my favourite people " he held the baby boy up in the air and playfully tried to bite at his little feet making Teddy squeal in delight. Remus was well and truly in his element as a father. He had taken to the role so well and it warmed Doras heart watching them together. He may have had a rocky start. But he was more than making up for it now. He doted on his son, spoilt him completely rotten and showed him all the love and affection she’d known he’d had in him from the start.

Teddy soon became disinterested and far more interested in the model of some small creature on his desk. Remus handed it to him and sat him down on the floor as he gurgled to himself, inspecting the skull as if it was the most amazing thing he’d ever seen.

“ did you catch up on your sleep? “ Remus asked turning to Dora then as she watched Teddy with a smile “ you look tired darling “ he pulled her into, his hands on her waist. She gave a small shrug and looked up at him. His face was mildly concerned. He always worried too much. Always.

“ a bit “

“ you should’ve stayed in bed. Gotten some more rest “

" I’m fine Remus. Honestly. Besides. I like watching you teach " she said with a smile and hopped up to sit on his desk after a look towards Teddy. He was still babbling to himself as he investigated the small skull, still insanely amused by it.

" people aren't allowed to sit on my desk you know " Remus said and moved to stand in front of her, his hand reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear.

“ if I recall we’ve done much more than sit on this desk Mr Lupin “ his cheeks flushed and she couldn’t help the giant grin on her face. After all the time since they’d first met she could still get him flustered. She loved it.

" you're a tease you know that? " he murmured and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

" I'm well aware. But you married me didn't you? You signed up for it " he smiled and she brushed her lips against his with an smile to match his. Though he’d barely kissed her for a second when there was the sound of children in the corridor, his next class arriving. Dora gave a small sigh and pressed a quick kiss to his lips before hopping off of the desk and picking up Teddy.

“ you’ll stay? “ Remus asked, straightening up his desk and pulling her back in gently before she could go “ it’s mostly just a study lesson, you won’t be a bother darling “ how could she say no to him when he was looking at her like that? He made her melt. She gave a nod and pressed a kiss to his cheek, before retreating to the back of the classroom so she and Teddy wouldn’t get in the way “ in you come class! “ the children piled in, some stopping briefly to talk to Tonks and Teddy before finding their seats.

She’d attended so many of his classes by now and she’d never seen any children really misbehave. They all seemed to love him, all listening with pure interest in everything he had to say. And maybe it was his parental instinct, but he was practically a father to some of them. They went to him for advice, just to talk, some of the more quiet students would even seek him out at lunch break so they didn’t have to eat alone. There were the odd few that were still coming to terms with the new easing of laws regarding werewolves, having grown up around people always saying they were bad. But everyone quickly grew to love him.

Just like she’d said they would.

He’d been a little hesitant to take on his old job after the war and had declined twice before finally accepting. She’d had the joy of watching him flourish after returning to work, he was truly in his element. He was happier. More confident than ever. And she loved him even more for it.

Teddy remained quite as Remus started teaching, always looking at his father almost in awe. He only became a little restless when Remus set the students off to do their own working, a quiet chatter filling the classroom.

“ Mrs Lupin? “ Tonks turned her head as she heard her name and smiled as Ravenclaw girl looked at her expectantly “ could you give me a hand with this one? “ she happily walked over to the girls desk, crouching down to help her with her questions on the behaviours of Pukwudgies. Teddy continued to wiggle around as she tried to help the student so placed him down to sit by her feet.

She had only taken her eyes off of him for a few moments , but Teddy took his chance and wiggled out of his mothers grasp and crawled away to sit at Remus foot who was stood a few desks away helping a student himself.

" oh- Teddy " Dora hissed and went to snatch her child back to their place in the back of the classroom. But Remus simply bent down and picked Teddy, not even stopping his explanation to his student , and placed him on his hip which made Teddy clap his chubby little hands excitedly. Tonks finished helping the girl before hurrying over to Remus, ready to relieve him of their son. But Remus declined with a smile.

“ it’s okay. Have a break. He’s fine sweetheart “

He held him for the rest of the lesson , even when he brought the classes attention back to the front for the final part of his lecture. He held Teddy in his arm and acted as if it was a perfectly normal thing to teach about the life expectancies of dark creatures with a small child on your hip. None of the students seemed fazed by it either and Dora sat at the back of classroom with a smile so wide it hurt her cheeks. Nothing would ever come close to the sight of Remus happy. So at ease with being a father now, so at ease back in front of classroom. Helping. Teaching. Shaping small futures as he has always dreamt of doing.

And of course the cherry on top. His family. Something he had never thought he could have. He was finally living the life she’d wanted him to have since that first meeting back when she joined the Order. The war was over. He had lived most of his life in war. And now he was finally free. Free with her. And their son.

[grrrlsoverdramas]

2021 Wrap Up, pt.1: 2021 Dramas I Most Enjoyed Watching

Run On

Watching this live with all of fandom and my dash got me through winter remote teaching to say the least. I suffered for most of the rest of the year due to an utter lack of comparable synergy in any of the other (k)drama live-watching experiences I had. Of course, the show was objectively well written and produced, and picking apart a drama only really works when it’s good. But also, the tone/thesis/pace nurtured positivity and joy and shared experience, and welcomed critical examinations of media and society while maintaining a light and entertaining mood. Really one for the ages!

Hospital Playlist 2

I really love Hospital Playlist because it is exactly what it thinks it is, a feel-good heart-warming blanket.  It’s also over-sentimental, tear-mongering, intellectually unchallenging, and full of fan service. But it does all its cliches well and builds genuinely loveable characters. It’s a lot like Ted Lasso in that it just makes you feel as though people care for one another! And they do! I’ve watched this show for the past two years with my parents, sometimes in person, sometimes over zoom while we can’t see each other because Covid makes it too risky.  We enjoy it in part because my sister is a doctor and since she’s usually too busy to watch anything with us we feel like she’s there too. A real strength of the show is that it never abandoned its case-of-the-week nature, which is why it stayed just this side of slow and stayed healthily away from being too heavy.

Bad Buddy

I’ve also really enjoyed this as a fandom experience, and I have a friend in reallife who loves it as well, which is a rarity for me. And I’m so glad I learned of Soon Vijarn because watching a show along with its creator and their friends is truly a gift. It’s even made me love product placement scenes because I feel “in” on the joke. Seeing p’Aof respond to criticisms is also so interesting. Whilethe bare bones of this show aren’t revolutionary (it’s just a university y-series in the end…), it doesn’t feel like a tropey, surfacey y-series, or like a y-series trying too hard to be a lakorn (yes this is a subtweet). Instead, it’s a well-acted romcom with honesty and layers that make it feel real.  I’m not really sure the genre can do better.

Welcome Back Mone/Okaeri Mone

What a real joy!  This show was so lovely and I will definitely watch it again.  It had a lot of what I loved about Just Between Lovers: a show dealing with sociocultural fallout of a (real or modeled-on-real) national disaster and thinking deeply about how this would affect different people, being honest about the human failures and feelings of shame/guilt, etc. While slice-of-life is not out of the ordinary for jdramas, I usually have difficulty investing in jdramas of this type, but the Asadora-pacing of the show, the background story, the way it was so easy to believe and care about Mone’s traumas and motivations, but it was also about many little moments.... All of it was easy to watch. Mone was such a wonderful character to see come of age, but I also LOVED her sister and the mountain leader, two very different characters but fully fleshed out. The many different and interesting female characters were like a breath of fresh air. Very grateful to hpriest for subbing.

Dear Diary

I watched SO many cdramas this year it is honestly embarrassing.  Was I watching GOOD dramas? No, I was watching mindless fluff and half of the time hated it.  A great example of some of my most psychologically unwell behavior this year, if I’m frank. Dear Diary is one of the few I watched that felt meaningful and interesting and like it was actually trying to say something and wasn’t created by an AI. It isn’t necessarily that this drama is “good” (in fact the only real way to describe it is “absurd” or “unhinged”) but it was such a good show to watch as I turned 30. Watching these characters manically go through all their baggage and fail over and over and feel things. Oof. Anyway.  Episode 5 is particularly a masterpiece.

You Are My Glory

On the flip side of the cdrama coin, they’re just doing romcoms in a way that kdramas haven’t in a while.  And in part it’s because cdramas are bad in a way kdramas haven’t been in a while, and, like, are good romcoms actually “good”? Because there’s nothing here really, except a hazy video game commercial.   But as soon as it was done airing I rewatched it (very rare for me). I think the success of this comes down to the well-characterized webnovel it’s based on and Dilraba’s charisma. The end waned, since there’s little to no conflict, and it turned more focus to Yu Tu, but Dilraba was still able to maintain enough buoyancy and enjoyment all the way through.

 There’s a Reason for the Love I’m Wearing

I don’t know why this drama jumped out at me so early as a one I should watch, but I’m glad I picked it up.  It was a great drama to watch slowly as it aired. I actually felt tension about whether or not the main characters would end up together.  The show balanced that really well – it would have been ok if they didn’t end up together, but that didn’t stop me from really wanting them to end up together. While the main couple’s chemistry was palpable, and I loved them together, I also loved them individually and was invested in their growth as human beings. It was also another great drama to watch when I was 29, because it was so much about just going for it, but also taking your time to get there.

Racket Boys

Would this drama be on this list if it wasn’t set in Jeollanam-do? No, probably not!  But, it was, so that’s what matters.  I love Jeollanam-do so much and it’s so beautiful and Jeolla accents are so sweet and wonderful. Every drama should be set in Jeollanam-do, thanks. Also, I greatly enjoyed the student dynamics. It’s been a while since there was a similar youth drama, like Queen’s Classroom, and I think this did admirably at making both realistic and likeable characters. Se-yoon’s storylines were particularly good at riding the line between dramatic and slice-of-life.

Inspector Koo

Glad I got this in at the end of the year! Lee Young-ae really went wild here and I love that for her. The chemistry between all the characters really drives the show, and while I don’t thinks its as serious of an endeavor as Run On, it’s a good bookend to the year because it has a similar charismatic ensemble comedy feel. I’m glad I was able to binge it because there are too many ~mysterious~ points that would have made me anxious (both worried about the outcome and feeling like I had to watch “on time” to avoid being spoiled or overwhelmed by fan theories) and I would have dropped it.  Eminently likable and definitely a drama I will recommend to others going forward.

The Uncanny Counter

Another good bookend for the year, I really loved watching this show live at the end of 2020 into 2021. It managed to maintain its interest level by being cartoonish in the right places (the societal issues), intense in others (the really evil seeming demons), and focused on catharsis rather than making you feel sad.  Then last week I recommended it to my sister and she loved it (it’s the first time she’s actually watched a drama without me forcing her to), and I loved how she felt so similarly about it!

Favorite Dramas I Watched for the First Time This Year That Didn’t Air in 2021:

Shanai Marriage Honey

The Good Detective

Honorable mention: The Untamed (I skipped a huge chunk of the flashback section of this drama. I loved the parts I watched, though!)

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 24, first part

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Banquet Proposal

Manspreading Champion Jin Guangshan is trying to pressure Jiang Cheng into marrying Jiang Yanli into the Jin clan.  Because this is the cultivation world, where everyone reflexively agrees with the most powerful man in the room like he's Frank Sinatra and they're the Rat Pack, the whole room starts pressuring Jiang Cheng to agree.  

Then Wei Wuxian comes striding in and suggests the radical idea of asking a woman's opinion about her own marriage. He tries to pressure Jiang Cheng into agreeing with him. Today is Pressure Jiang Cheng Day. Every day for the next several months is going to be Pressure Jiang Cheng Day.

Jiang Cheng stands up and agrees that it should be left up to his sister, citing his late father's beliefs so that everyone will know that this unconventional behavior isn't his fault. This is a pickle for him; he knows his sister wants to marry Jin Zixuan, but it's not a good political alliance for the Jiangs right now, which is the opposite of the situation when his parents first made the match. While saying all this he takes the opportunity to get in a dig at Wei Wuxian for meddling.

Jiang Yanli sadly says, thanks for the offer, but the Jiang Clan is just coming back from being massacred, and I have, like, SO much laundry, I can't even. It's not that I don't want to be with you, Jixuan honey; I would just rather scrub blood off of the courtyard.

Jin Zixuan suddenly realizes that being dumped in front of a bunch of your peers is not as fun when you’re catching instead of pitching.

Clan Leader Yao is completely flummoxed by this whole "let young people decide things" concept and hopes it goes out of fashion soon.

The only really happy person in the room is Jin Guangyao, who is looking for a scapegoat for his upcoming villainy. Wei Wuxian will be a perfect fit.

(more behind the cut!)

Chillin Like a Villain

Jin Guangyao and Jin Guangshan have a villany-plotting conversation that's mostly as boring as every other villainy-plotting conversation.  

Jin Guangyao starts the ground work for blaming stuff on Wei Wuxian, saying that Wei Wuxian was alone with Xue Yang back when the 4th chunk of Yin Iron went missing. This kind of harks back to that moment when Wei Wuxian searched Xue Yang (not, incidentally, alone) and XY asked if he wasn't worried about what people would say if they heard about it.

Jin Guangshan is pretty ready to think badly of WWX, who just crapped on his marriage plans, so he quickly decides that Wei Wuxian’s Yin Tiger amulet is made out of Xue Yang’s Yin Iron, not that it actually, like, matters where it came from? It’s all the same dang metal.

Back to Lotus Pier

Then we get an establishing shot of the dock in Yunmeng and the subtitle unhelpfully says QISHAN. Not because the scene is in Qishan, but because there are red Wen banners flying that say 岐山 on them, so the subtitle is for the banner, not for the location. Not only are there Wen banners still flying despite their defeat, there are at least six Wen guards standing guard at the dock. Perhaps there is a teensy continuity error here.

The Yunmeng trio return to Lotus Pier with a group of disciples in tow. Leaving aside the boys' (apparent) stealth trip to the ancestral hall in Episode 20, this is their official return to their home and the seat of their clan, having survived the Wen clan's attempt to exterminate them.

They are battered, bloodied, but not broken and one of them is also broken. But still persevering. I get choked up at this scene every time. Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian would be pleased with all three of them. Jiang Yanli has supported both of them through all the turmoil, giving them an emotional home even while they were homeless. Jiang Cheng has done the impossible, even more than he himself realizes. And Wei Wuxian has acted as a faithful servant, sacrificing a precious part of himself to save his clan leader.

The place is a mess, with the evidence of a final battle against the Wens all over the place. As they look around Wei Wuxian thinks back on one of the many times that Jiang Fengmian paid attention to him instead of to Jiang Cheng, and smiles affectionately.   Wei Wuxian is consistently able to remember the good things and smile about them, even when those memories are overlaid by endless trauma.

The three of them look at the Wen symbol on the roof line and the boys get identically angry...

...starting with the teeth of anger...

...followed by the fist of anger.

It's a powerful moment; they still do have an awful lot in common, despite everything. Jiang Cheng uses his mother’s weapon to smash the Wen symbol and reclaim his home.

Jiang Yanli:  The fuck!? Are you trying to slice my face off?

Back to Gusu

Next we get a nice fly-through of the Jingshi, where Lan Wangji is sitting in the side room playing guqin.  In later years he will move the guqin to the living room, while this room gains a wine-drinking table.  

The Lan clan do love their knick-knacks, and this room features several. There's a teapot suspended from a chain over a brazier, with a tied-up fish sculpture for a counterweight, which is definitely not an indication of any future kinks. The brazier is surrounded by Zen sand with some surprisingly untranquil lines raked into it.  

Lan Xichen has dropped by to tell Lan Wangji that the disciples are gossiping about him, saying he’s been checking out books from the library and practicing music. Seriously? The Lans are a sect that focuses on musical cultivation. Practicing music, verrry suspicious. Also, gossip is forbidden, but sure, check up on him.

In response, Lan Wangji jumps right to "I want to enter the forbidden chamber of the Library"  Lan Xichen asks him why, and he says he wants more music scores.  Lan Xichen, who knows about the secret murder music book, isn't delighted with that answer.  Just then, Lan Qiren summons them, so they table the conversation to go see him.

Lan Qiren talks about the battle they just went through, and says "I've heard about Wei Ying."  Everybody makes significant faces without clarifying what LQR actually heard about Wei Ying. Lan Qiren then philosophizes about how war is hell, particularly for idioms about eggs and nests. They need to go clean up the leftover resentful energy, but he's sending Lan Xichen on his own, while Lan Wangji gets to stay home and repair/rewrite all of the Lan rules.

Lan Qiren says a bunch of stuff to Lan Wangji about rules, being super hinty without actually coming to the point. He refuses to let Lan Wangji speak or ask questions, while he’s doling out punishment for, basically, thought crime. He wants LWJ to reject Wei Wuxian but he wants him to do it without being directly told.

To make sure Lan Wangji is extra frustrated, he snarkily refuses to give him permission to read the forbidden books, asking him if he’s already read all of the books in the regular library. Surprisingly, he hasn’t yet; I guess he was busy winning a war while you were in a coma, jerkface.

Lan Xichen is super on edge during this conversation--scared, even. He's trying to keep the peace, trying to keep Lan Wangji out of trouble, and avoid a confrontation. Lan Wangji is increasingly uninterested in peace, but he follows his brother's unspoken commands, and shuts up.

Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen both really fail as teachers here. Lan Wangji believes that resentful energy is bad. He believes this VERY STRONGLY.  He broke up with his boyfriend for a while because of it. They are punishing him for having doubts, and they’re not giving him any opportunity to talk through those doubts with them. I say “they” because Lan Qiren is the one giving the punishment, but Lan Xichen is silently assenting, and making sure Lan Wangji doesn’t argue.

As they leave, Lan Qiren stops them to ask Lan Wangji if he understands why he's grounded, and Lan Wangji just looks at him without answering, which would be counted as sass when I was growing up.

He face says he’s appropriately chagrined, but he’s not. Before the end of this episode, he's going to directly disobey Lan Qiren, and he’s going to go on disobeying him in the future, over and over again.

Later, when Lan Wangji is alone with the pristine, definitely not in need of repair, rule book, he seems genuinely chagrined. He loves these rules, and has depended on them; that’s why he’s been a model disciple for so long, not because he fears his uncle’s punishments.

But now he also loves Wei Wuxian. So some of these rules will have to be broken.

Clan Leader Jiang

The Jiang Clan are having the ceremony to install Jiang Cheng as leader.

Wei Wuxian is sitting alone, away from all of the other disciples, watching the proceedings rather than participating. His placement in the ceremony is very strange for a head disciple.

But it’s perfect for a ghost.

Later, Jiang Cheng is practicing his "yelly boss" leadership style, and being extra grumpy because Wei Wuxian is slacking off all the time. Jiang Yanli is having trouble deciding if she should be more worried about the brother with the drinking problem or the brother with the anger problem.  

Jiang Cheng is miserable and feels completely unsure of himself but he's plowing the fuck ahead.

You might put your love and trust on the line It's risky, people love to tear that down Let 'em try Do it anyway Risk it anyway And if you're paralyzed by a voice in your head It's the standing still that should be scaring you instead Go on and Do it anyway Do it anyway

Help Me to Help You

Wei Wuxian is hanging out in a tavern window, being a thirst trap and hitting on passing Lans.  

Lan Xichen joins him for a drink and a lecture. Things start off fairly well, with Wei Wuxian being impressed with his ability to drink wine, and attempting his usual flirt-tease-charm routine, bragging about smuggling wine into Cloud Recesses.

Where Lan Wangji would be adorably flustered and hostile/sexy in responding to that, Lan Xichen just shuts him down with a look, and Wei Wuxian suddenly realizes that he's talking to an adult clan leader who isn't here for his shit, and is a lot more worldy than Lan Wangji is.

Wei Wuxian knocks it off and apologizes. Then he talks fondly about Lan Wangji, saying he wants to come visit him, and daydreams cutely about dominating him  supervising his rule-copying work.

LXC says that he should come listen to new music that LWJ has composed, and the tone of the conversation changes completely. Wei Wuxian is on his guard, and he's getting ready to throw down.  He asks if LXC came to Yunmeng specifically to hassle him, and LXC...kinda says no?

Wei Wuxian smiles sweetly while he asks if everyone in the Lan Clan is a meddler.

Lan Xichen has never encountered the nasty version of Wei Wuxian before, but he's a grown up, and he's very, very hard to provoke, unlike his brother. He cuts to the chase and says he's got something to say, whether WWX listens or not.

He says Wei Wuxian shouldn't be self-centered because the people he cares about are affected by his choices. This gets through to him, for a second. But then LXC offers to help him go back to sword cultivation, and Wei Wuxian is done listening.  

He tells Lan Xichen he doesn't want to go back to sword work, and LXC is stunned into silence for a moment as Wei Wuxian takes his wine and starts to walk away.  Lan Xichen makes a last ditch attempt to warn him about the dangers of the yin tiger amulet, and WWX says he knows, but he wants to try to master it anyway. Then he leaves with a rude little wave, and no bow.

This whole conversation seems like a disaster but Wei Wuxian does, in fact, remember Lan Xichen’s words, the next time he meets up with Lan Wangji.

Soundtrack: Do It Anyway by Ben Folds Five

[captain-josslett]

Broken Melody - Part Thirty Three

Masterlist

Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?

Words: 8.8k+ (DANG IT! I tried not writing as much... Ah well.)

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, PTSD moments, smut...ish more mentions of?

Pairings: Emma Danvers x Lena Luthor, Alex Danvers x Sam Arias

This Part: A week before the surgery and Emma sees Alistair for an appointment.

Ek! So close! Please, please, please, let me know you thoughts and opinions. I literally have no anons 😅 @aznblossom thank you for always leaving a comment!

Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated. Please! I like knowing your thoughts.

Taglist: @finleyfray, @life-is-hella-unfair, @natasha-danvers, @supergirl-writingz, @camslightstories, @thinking1bee, @aznblossom

A Week Before The Surgery

Emma’s feet pound the pavement as she runs along the waterfront by the city, with Robyn’s partly completely album blaring in her ears.

Emma can’t help but feel pride with how good everything sounds as she passes unsuspecting members of the public. Weaving around the couples and families going for a gentle stroll in the warm April, Saturday sun.

Her face starts to feel slightly uncomfortable from the sweat rolling down her face. The face modifier causing a strange sensation and a tightness due to her heated skin. After finding this happening whenever she exercises with the modifier on, Winn and Brainy decide to develop a new model, one that will  hopefully be more lightweight and comfortable for the wearer. Including more options and will be able to change the wearer's hair and colour.

But, Emma hopes the time will come soon where Lucy gives her the go ahead where she won’t have to wear it anymore. By Doctor Hamilton’s assessment it should be another month or two before that can happen.

Emma had ventured out without it on, but that was under Lucy’s strict orders and guidance. The lawyer had organised a little outing where Emma sat in a wheelchair with a nasal cannula, giving the impression she was getting oxygen and sat with her sisters at Noonan’s. Bruises and prosthetics were applied around her face and neck to create the illusion that Emma was still healing.

Emma did query whether it would be a good idea but she had been reassured it was. Emma even asked if she still needed the prosthetics but Doctor Hamilton explained that with the severity of the trauma done to her body, she suspects the swelling would have stayed around longer than normal.

As soon as Alex rolled Emma through the restaurant's doors it spread like wildfire that Emma was out in public. Social Media lapped it up and soon a crowd of paparazzi, well wishers and fans gathered outside the restaurant. Emma stiffly waved and played her part but was grateful when they left and she could get rid of the itchy makeup and prosthetics.

Lena was meant to have joined them at the outing, but per usual, Lena had been too busy to attend.

Emma lets out a heavy breath as her heart clenches at the thought of her girlfriend. The Sunday after Nia’s party had been utter bliss with Emma waking up in Lena’s arms. The raven haired beauty had already been awake and kissed Emma’s forehead as she greeted her. The couple then laid there for a while, planting soft kisses on each other's lips until Emma needed to pee. The blonde had come back expecting Lena would want to start the day. However the raven haired beauty had not moved.

“Didn’t you mention about spending the whole day in bed?” Lena asked in a husky voice, dripping in sex. She pulled the covers back and revealed she had removed her pajamas.

Emma didn’t hesitate in flinging off her own clothing and jumping right back into bed. That day had been magical while they moved as one, the feeling of-

Her watch bleeps, pulling Emma out of her thoughts and alerting her to another mile she’s completed and calculating what her pace is. She glances down at it to check but notices the time instead, her eyes widen and immediately she turns towards Alistair's office.

‘Shit! Shit! Shit!’ Emma screams in her head as she starts running faster and berates herself for being in her own little world. Not realising she had gone further then she originally planned.

Currently she was twenty minutes away from Alistair’s office and her appointment was in ten minutes. She’s going to be late and Emma hates being late. The blonde pumps her arms and wishes she could call out for people to move or apologies when she makes people jump as she sprints past.

Finally Alistair’s building comes into view but Emma doesn’t slow down until she slides in front of the building's door and presses the buzzer four times to alert the alien she has arrived.

“Come on up Emma!” Alistair’s warm voice calls through the speaker and the buzzing of the lock follows, allowing Emma to push the door open.

The blonde races up the stairs two at a time, putting her wireless headphones in their case and turns into the hallway towards Alistair’s office door. Finding that the red headed alien was already standing in the doorway and gently smiling at her.

‘I’m so, so sorry! I’m so late! Time got away from me and-’ Emma’s mind screams out as she quickly approaches the therapist, automatically reaching up and deactivating the modifier.

“Emma, it's okay! You’re actually right on time!”

The blonde halts and frowns, immediately lifting her arm up to look at her watch. She notices the running app is still on and quickly ends the session before looking at the time.

Alistair was correct… She was right on time.

‘Huh… I must have read it wrong.’ Emma muses as she tries to visualise what she saw as she was running.

“Possibly.” Alistair agrees and moves out of the way to let her in.

As soon as she enters the office the patter of paws makes her look up from her watch as Lily excitedly trots over to her.

‘Lily!’ Emma drops to her knees and affectionately strokes under Lily’s chin. The snowy white german shepherd greets her in kind with many licks to her face and arms, lapping up the light sheen of sweat covering them, causing Emma to release a few voiceless laughs.

“She’s always happy to see you.” Alistair says cheerfully and moves towards his chair, motioning for Emma to sit on the sofa.

Straightening up Emma makes her way over with Lily right beside her.

“The water is for you as well. Did you have a good run?” Alistair asks, as Emma sits down, takes her trainers off and sits crossed legged. Lily instantly hops onto the sofa next to her and rests her head on the blonde’s lap.

Emma glances at the coffee table in front of her, on it was a box of tissues, a few books and a glass of water with a lemon slice and a few cubes of ice.

‘Thank you and yes it was good.’ Emma thinks gratefully as she carefully leans forward to get the glass, not wanting to jostle Lily too much. Seeing this, Alistair helps by getting the glass first and holding it out for Emma to take.

“Great and thank you for being willing to move your appointment to today. I am sorry about having to rearrange our time together.” Alistair says sincerely.

‘It’s okay.’ Emma shrugs, she normally sees Alistair during the week. ‘Not like I had much planned for today anyway.’ A small twinge hits Emma’s heart.

“Okay, how’s the last few days been?” Alistair asks as he leans back against the leather armchair and studies her. Emma takes a few gulps of the cool water as she thinks.

‘Yea, it wasn't too bad.’ Memories of the week flashes through her mind, who she saw, the smells, her heart clenching whenever she’d wake up in an empty apartment-

“Ah, I take it Lena is still working a lot?” Alistair asks with a sympathetic smile.

‘Yea.’ Emma answers softly in her mind, her shoulders slump and Lily licks her hand, making the blonde slowly stroke her head. ‘I understand these new investors are important, I know how important her work is but-’ Emma stops her thoughts and looks out of the window at the sea in the distance.

“You miss her.” Alistair finishes for her and Emma lowers her head.

‘Yea.’ Emma thinks weakly and can’t help but visualise their early relationship. How excited Emma was to get back to her hotel room to spend some time with her girlfriend, no matter how exhausted she felt after a gig. ‘I love her so much, I’d give my life for her but I just miss what we had when she wasn’t so busy. I mean we made it work when I was on tour and I’d call her even with the different time zones and it would be early in the morning for me.’

“That is understandable.” Alistair comments as he rests a finger beside his cheek as he ponders what Emma revealed. “You have both been through some major changes. Has she given you a time frame for when things look to be getting back to normal?”

-- -- --

During the week - Lena and Emma’s apartment

Emma checks her phone for the umpteenth time as she gets ready for Lena. On Sunday they had planned to have a date during the week and go out for dinner. Something they haven’t been able to do recently.

Emma voicelessly sighs while putting the finishing touches on her makeup, thankful that her hard work transfers through the modified face.

Standing up from the dressing table the blonde heads towards the walk-in wardrobe and takes the dress, she had spent hours deciding on, off the hanger. The dress was teal coloured, elegantly pleated and Emma had fallen in love with it as soon as she saw it. Also finding she was loving the dress even more when she zipped herself up and admired the way it hugged her toned body. She then steps into her trusted black high heeled shoes and opens her jewelry box.

For a moment she looks for her layered necklace her sisters got her. Only to feel a devastating pang when she remembers Kara crushed it.

‘No… Not Kara.’ Emma shakes her head and closes the lid. She heads out into the living area and glances at her phone again.

No new messages from Lena.

Emma flops onto the sofa, ignoring the dull ache in her head that hasn’t disappeared since leaving the DEO. Naturally when anyone asks her about it the blonde shrugs it off, not wanting to worry her friends and family anymore then she already has.

Laying down on the sofa Emma opens her phone and scrolls through social media to pass the time. She yawns and starts to feel her eyes grow heavy and eventually they close as she falls into a deep sleep.

So deep that even when the apartment door opens and closes, Emma doesn’t stir. Or when heeled shoes click over to her.

What does wake her up is a hand gently shaking her shoulder. Emma jumps, her eyes fly open as she takes a sharp intake of breath.

“Sorry love.” Lena apologises softly and strokes Emma’s cheek with the back of her fingers.

Emma nuzzles her face into Lena’s hand and kisses it before sitting up. Which causes her to become face to face with the raven haired beauty as Lena sat next to the sleeping blonde.

Emma smiles and goes to kiss Lena, until she sees the time on the oven clock. Her eyes widen and she pulls back.

“Em?” Lena pouts at the halted kiss.

“The reservation! We’re late.” Emma moves to jump off the sofa but Lena places a hand on her shoulder, halting her movements.

“I cancelled it.” Lena says hesitantly and Emma blinks at her. “I’m sorry, it got so late and you weren’t answering your phone and-”

Emma places a finger on Lena’s lips, sensing the rising guilt and panic in her girlfriend. Reaching out she unlocks her phone, noticing the messages but instead goes into Hope’s app and turns the lights up from a soft glow.

Lena’s eyes squint at the sudden light and Emma studies her properly.

Despite the make up Lena was wearing, Emma can see the dark circles under her tired, reddened eyes. Emma opens her arms and Lena immediately falls into the hug and kisses her cheek. Slowly Emma leans back into the corner of the sofa, pulling Lena up with her.

“Emma!” Lena giggles and Emma feels Lena settle on top of her and snuggles in. The blonde slowly rubs circles into her girlfriend’s back and eventually feels Lena twitch, signalling she’s fallen asleep.

Carefully grabbing her phone, Emma opens UberEats and decides to get Lena’s favourite food. Seeing that it will be delivered in half an hour, Emma rests her head back against the cushions and enjoys the feeling of holding her girlfriend. Grateful that even though they haven’t gone out on a date, Lena has still come home and given Emma this time with her.

When the food arrives Emma carefully lifts the snoozing CEO off her and quietly runs to the door. But no matter how careful Emma is at keeping quiet, when she turns around Lena is sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

“Em?” Lena’s husky voice calls out.

Emma lets out a huff of frustration as she wants to tell her dinner is ready. She wants to speak the words of love she is longing to say.

Instead Emma strides over to the sofa and places the bag on the coffee table.

“Hmm, you know me so well.” Lena smirks at the sight of the logo on the bag.

The couple settle on the sofa and listen to a playlist of soft acoustic music as they eat.

“I-” Lena starts and hesitates. Turning her head Emma gazes into regretful green eyes and watches Lena swallow before she continues. “I just want to apologise for ruining our date tonight. Time just got away from me and… there's no excuse.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it's not.” Lena tries to implore Emma to listen. “Just- this won’t be forever. I promise you that. I’m taking time off for the surgery and afterwards to look after you. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been working nonstop, so my sole focus will be on you.” She reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind Emma’s ear.

Emma beams at her, taking Lena’s hand and kisses it.

“What have you been working on?” Emma asks and Lena explains the many projects she’s been developing with the investors and her team. Emma’s eyes widen at how complex it all sounds and nods along.

Soon they finish their meal and despite how tired they both are, they head to bed for a different reason than sleep.

-- -- --

Emma comes out of the memory before she shows anything risque to her therapist. But she cannot help but smile softly at the feeling of Lena’s arms wrapped around her.

“Interesting. So there wasn’t a set time frame, just that it won’t be forever?”

‘Yea.’ Emma looks down and runs her fingers smoothly through Lily’s fur.

“Have you tried asking Lena further?”

‘She apologises and says the same thing she’s been saying for a while. Now isn’t forever.’

Alistair nods and looks down at his notes as he jots down a few more. “How are you sleeping?”

Emma hesitates, causing Alistair to look back up at her. Feeling an unease emit from the blonde.

“Emma?” Alistair asks, his eyes imploring her to be truthful with him.

‘I haven’t been sleeping well. I’m finding I-’ Emma pauses, not wanting to admit what's been happening. Taking a deep breath her mind shows him instead. Horrible nightmares that have Emma jumping awake in a panic, drenched in sweat, only to find she is alone in bed.

“You’re still experiencing nightmares?”

Emma nods.

“More than usual, less or about the same?”

‘I-’ Emma lifts her head as she tries to remember. ‘It feels about the same.’

“Okay, that is something that we will still work on and honestly I’m not surprised you are still having them.” Alistair says compassionately, trying to help Emma see she is doing nothing wrong.

“What about your sisters? How are things going with them?”

‘It’s going well. Things almost feel back to normal.’

Emma’s mind brings up the memories of Alex chasing her around the beach, laughing as she tries to catch her until she finally jumps on Emma’s back.

And memories of Kara come forward where she’d fly into the apartment bearing gifts of Emma’s favourite food, like Cadbury chocolates from the UK. The pair would snuggle up on the sofa and watch a film while they gorge on the treats.

‘I know she still feels guilty, but she doesn’t flinch when we hug or touch anymore.’

“That's a good improvement for sure. But it seems Kara is still not as open as Alex yet?” Alistair enquiries, causing Emma to pause as she reflects.

‘No?’ She answers unsure. ‘I mean, Alex still holds back in certain areas. I still catch her looking at me with such a sad expression. They both do.’ Emma plays with her hands as her sisters’ mournful faces fill her mind, that is until Lily nuzzles her nose into her fiddling hands, allowing Emma to stroke her instead. ‘Maybe it's due to Kara’s trauma?’

“Most likely.” Alistair nods in agreement. “The thing is, each of us are different, we have different likes, different dislikes and our brains are wired uniquely. Therefore we can react differently to the same events, depending on who we are.”

Emma nods and rests her head against the back of the sofa as she thinks. ‘That makes sense. So, for Alex, she has trained to be a soldier, her natural instinct is to fight and follow orders. To lead and protect. But for Kara she grew up on another planet, with a particular upbringing, she witnessed that planet being destroyed, all she had known, gone in an instant.’ Emma’s heart pangs in sympathy, remembering how shell shocked Kara had been when Clark brought her to the Danvers. A new family and a new way of life. ‘She had to be so careful, even when walking, to not put her foot through the floorboards or hurt any of us.’

“Like a god among mortals.” Alistair nods in agreement. “From what you’ve told me before, it sounds like fear was instilled in her as soon as she arrived, that she could easily hurt anyone she came in contact with.”

Emma nods.

“So, Kara broke that promise when she hurt you-” Emma immediately interrupts in her mind but Alistair holds his hand up, halting her. “To Kara, she did hurt you and I know you keep repeating that she didn’t, but from Kara’s point of view it was her hand that crushed your neck and broke your bones. She hurt someone she cares deeply about and using the powers she had sworn would protect people.”

Emma lowers her head and pinches the bridge of her nose. Feeling the pounding in her head intensify.

“Like Supergirl, you can’t protect and save everyone.” Alistair says softly, imploring for Emma to understand.

‘I know.’ Emma admits sadly, she feels Lily move and nuzzle her head against Emma’s cheek, as if sensing her pain.

The pair sit in silence for a while. The ticking of the clock being the only noise in the room.

“How are you feeling about the surgery next week?” Alistair looks up at the clock. “You’d have just gone into the theatre.”

‘Honestly, I can’t wait for it.’ Emma thinks softly and the familiar sense of butterflies start fluttering around her stomach.

“How are you feeling about that?”

‘Nervous. Excited. Terrified.’

“Terrified? About the procedure?”

Emma hesitates. Lily, seemingly sensing her tension, lovingly licks Emma’s cheek and nuzzles her head into Emma’s hand. Causing Emma to continue stroking her.

“Emma?”

‘I am terrified about the operation not working, that it's going to make things bad again.’

“How so?”

‘It seems to be a constant reminder when I have to sign or when I go to laugh or make any noise, but all that comes out is breath.’ Emma thinks mournfully and glances out the window, memories of her sisters’ guarded eyes fill her mind. ‘I know this will take time before things can go back to normal. I just don’t want the progress we’ve made to be destroyed because the op didn’t work.’

“And if that happens?”

Emma’s stomach drops at the thought. But her mind focuses on those around her. Her family, friends and Lena. How would they react?

“Emma.” Alistair softly sighs, placing his book on the coffee table and leans forward. “You need to focus on yourself. Which you have been doing and I am pleased with our progress with your PTSD. We both know this isn’t a quick or an easy road. But you need to focus on how you feel about your voice not returning right away or, possibly ever.”

Emma swallows deeply at Alistair’s words, her throat feeling like it’s going to close over. ‘I understand.’

“Good.” Alistair picks his notebook back up and settles back into the seat. “Is there anything else you wish to discuss?”

Emma pauses and focuses on Lily as she runs her fingers through the soft fur.

‘There is something else.’ Emma admits quietly. Almost as if she’s too scared to present it.

“Which is?” Alistair asks kindly, but Emma keeps her mind closed off. “Emma, you don’t have to share if you don’t want to-”

Images start filling his mind, of the world blurring and morphing around Emma. How one second she’s at one end of the apartment and the next she’s at the other end, normally crashing into something or stumbling. How she easily lifts items others seem to struggle with, lifting Lena and Alex like they were light as a feather. Her headaches and heightened senses, especially her sensitive hearing and being able to hear a whisper across a room. How overwhelming the noise can become when she’s in a crowded place.

Alistair also feels fear and confusion pour off the young woman.

“Emma, you have nothing to fear here.” Alistair implores the blonde. “And thank you for showing me. How long have you noticed these- moments?”

‘Only recently when… erm.’ Emma’s cheeks colour in an intense blush as she remembers the moment she heard a crack from the headboard during an intense orgasm on Sunday while she rode Lena’s strap. Looking down she noticed the wood was splintering and cracking under her hands.

Once Lena was asleep Emma had sat up and felt the cracks again. She stayed there for a while as pieces started to click into place. Something was wrong with her.

“Nothing is wrong with you.” Alistair says firmly, his eyes imploring Emma to listen. “Can we test this theory that something is happening to you?” Alistair asks as he straightens up.

Emma nods and watches as he gets up and goes to one of his many bookcases. The redhead picks something up and strides back over to her. In his hand is a small, shiny ball.

“Squeeze this as hard as you can.” Alistair says while handing her the ball and moves her empty glass to sit on the coffee table in front of her.

Lily sits up, intrigued by the object Emma is holding.

‘Okay.’ Emma starts squeezing and applies more and more pressure.

Nothing happens.

“Keep a hold of it but look at me.” Alistair instructs and Emma lifts her eyes and focuses on his kind crystal blue ones.

“Have they gotten any closer to finding those responsible?” Alistair carefully asks, his eyes searching Emma’s hazel green ones.

‘No.’ Emma’s face and eyes darken and she clenches her jaw.

“Are Kara and Alex putting up the right precautions to not get taken again? I imagine they are prime targets as they are close to you? Maybe someone like Winn or Lucy or maybe your Mom or even Lena could be taken next?”

The thought of her family, her friends, her loved ones being forced into what Alex and Kara have already gone through fills Emma with a powerful rage.

She grits her teeth and her hold on the silver ball tightens.

Alistair’s eyes flick down to her hand. “Emma, look.”

The blonde lowers her gaze and gapes at the hand imprint she has made on the now disproportionate ball.

“This is a ball of titanium.” Alistair says as he picks the metal up out of Emma’s hand. “Or was.” He mutters as he turns it around in his hands.

‘What’s happening to me?’ Emma thinks, terrified at what this could mean.

“I don’t know.” Alistair truthfully admits. “Maybe it’s to do with the serum they gave you?”

‘But it was a healing serum? Not a super soldier thing!’ Emma’s mind shouts, her panic starting to build.

“That may be the case, but you need to communicate with Lena, Brainy or Doctor Hamilton about this.”

‘Do I have to?’ Emma apprehensively asks.

“Yes. Because this-” Alistair holds up the distorted piece of titanium. “Is not normal.”

Emma nods but her face scrunches up in emotion.

‘You always like being the center of attention! I hate you!’ Alex’s teenage words scream within Emma’s mind, causing her to hide her head in her hands.

“Emma?” Alistair tilts his head and Lily nuzzles her nose into the side of the blonde’s face.

‘I’m just Emma, plain, simple Emma.’ Her thoughts come out weak and feeble.

“Emma, there is nothing plain or simple about you. You are one of the most talented people I know. Your voice reaches and touches millions of lives and gives them hope.” He says passionately and before Emma can respond a buzzer goes off. “And that’s the end of our session for this week.” He says apologetically. “But we’ve made some really good progress. Emma-” Alistair says to get Emma to look at him. Slowly she lowers her hands and lifts her head. Her eyes swimming in anguish. “I really recommend that you tell someone what is happening. Anyone you feel comfortable sharing with. Maybe Lucy or Sam?” Alistair gently offers. “Just don’t keep this to yourself.”

Emma nods and gets up, making Lily jump off the sofa and trots with her to the door.

“Did you want to meet up on Wednesday like usual? Or did you want to come here on Friday instead?” Alistair offers as he follows behind her with his diary.

‘Yea Wednesday sounds good.’

“Great! I’ll see you then! Have a good weekend and remember what I said.” Alistair opens the door and smiles at her.

Emma nods but feels slightly frustrated that the appointment ended just as they were getting somewhere. She quickly rushes through, feeling like she has more questions than answers.

What’s going on?

Did she have powers?

How could that be?

Over and over these questions cycle through her mind as she makes her way down the stairs.

She passes a mirror and suddenly remembers to put the face modifier on. She chooses the face with the Marilyn Monroe beauty mark that is quickly becoming one of her favourite to use.

As she exits the building Emma starts to get her headphones out and plans a route to run home. That is until a car quickly pulls up beside her and honks loudly. Causing Emma to jump high into the air.

“Get in loser we’re going shopping!” Alex yells across Kara who beams at Emma from the open passenger window.

But the blonde momentarily stays frozen, trying to process what just happened and her sisters’ beaming faces.

“Em?” Kara’s smile fades and a frown replaces it, making Emma quickly open the back door of Alex’s car and dive in.

“Seatbelt.” Alex orders as she turns to study her baby sister. ‘She must have had a hard session.’ Alex thinks and her eyes snap to Kara’s who looks to be thinking the same thing as she bites her lip in worry.

Once Emma is belted in Alex pulls back into traffic. “Hope you didn’t mind us picking you up?” She calls back to Emma and watches her shake her head in the rearview mirror.

Kara twists around so she can see Emma properly. “We thought we could have a sister’s day and have a movie marathon?”

“Sounds good.” Emma signs and tries to smile convincingly.

“Plus it's your turn to choose!” Alex says trying to sound more upbeat than normal and wants to remind Emma. Normally her blonde sister would clap loudly and take a while to choose. Going back and forth between many classics and their favourites. Even discussing pros and cons between the choices she has.

Instead, Emma simply nods in response before gazing out of the window. Making Kara and Alex exchange worried glances as they continue towards Alex’s apartment.

Soon they are parked in Alex's parking space and the sisters get out. Emma goes to walk towards the elevator when Alex stops her.

“Do you mind giving us a hand?” Alex asks while she pops the boot open. Bags upon bags of food are revealed, causing Emma to raise an eyebrow at her sisters.

“I know! I was hungry!” Kara whines and immediately grabs a donut from one of the bags and chomps on it.

“Kara!” Alex yells and swats at her.

“Sorry! Do you want one?” Kara says with her mouth full and offers Alex a donut.

Emma can’t help but smile at the pair and reaches down to take a few bags.

“Wait! Em they are-” Alex pauses as Emma effortlessly lifts them up. “Heavy… Guess not.”

Emma momentarily freezes and remembers what she had Alistair had discussed, instead she shrugs and smiles at the red head instead.

“I got these!” Kara announces and takes the rest.

“You left me with one.” Alex says unimpressed while closing the boot. “Emma, give me a few.”

The blonde looks down and hands her sister the bags full of light goodies.

“I can take a few more.” Alex raises an eyebrow at Emma and holds her hand out. But Emma responds in a shrug and strolls towards the elevator. Alex turns her head towards Kara who repeats Emma’s shrug and follows.

As soon as they enter the apartment Emma places the bags on the island and quickly disengages her face modifier. Silently sighing in relief as she massages her cheeks.

Kara places her bags on the island and pulls out a small USB drive from her jean pocket. “Winn kindly let us borrow his drive with all the films past and present. Wouldn’t let me borrow films of the future though… Especially those based on real events.”

“Wonder why?” Alex laughs and places the last of the bags on the island. She looks to see Emma’s response, but the blonde is too busy unpacking the bags. “Em?”

Hazel green eyes shoot up and an unusual blank look accompanies Emma’s face.

“You okay?” Alex asks with a frown and takes a step towards her baby sister. But Emma takes a step away from her and around the island.

“Can I have a shower? I still feel a bit gross from my run.” Emma signs while barely looking at her sisters.

“Sure! You know you don’t need to ask!” Alex utters and watches Emma nod before zipping into the bathroom.

“Shall I get you some clothes?” Kara calls out while giving Alex a concerned look, the redhead mirrors it with a frown.

Emma pops her head around the door and nods, giving them a grateful smile before quickly disappearing again.

Kara approaches Alex’s closet. “Kara, wait!” Alex yells but the blonde has already opened the door.

“Huh, Alex-” Kara tilts her head and slowly turns back to her sister. “Why are most of your clothes not in your closet?”

“Er, laundry day?” Alex says not too convincingly and can tell by Kara’s face, she doesn’t believe her.

“That’s a question.” Kara places a hand on her hip and studies the redhead.

“Okay I can explain, but I want to tell both of you. Together.”

“Okay.” Kara grins at her sister and turns back to the closet to find something for Emma to wear.

“There should be a bag of Em’s things by the right?” Alex says while getting glasses and bowls for the drinks and snacks for the marathon.

“Found it!” Kara hollers, takes the bag out and places it on the bed. She opens it and tries to find the comfiest clothes for Emma to wear.

“Do you need any help?” Kara asks after getting Emma’s things ready.

“Can you move these to the coffee table please?” Alex asks and then gives Kara a hard look when she grabs two huge bowls filled with treats. “Do not start eating until we are all sitting on the sofa.”

“Yes ma’am.” Kara deadpans and starts transferring the stuff over from the island to the coffee table, while Alex gets the microwavable popcorn ready. Finding they all prefer fresh, hot popcorn to normal bagged ones.

Kara hears the shower turn off and super speeds over to grab the clothes she has chosen for Emma and practically skips to the door, knocking on it in a quick rhythm.

“Hey Em, I got some comfy clothes for you to change into.” Kara calls through the door and hears Emma moving around the bathroom. The door opens and Emma’s hand appears to take it. “There you go!” When the door closes again Kara heads to Alex sitting on the sofa. Her sunny attitude fading as her face morphs into one of worry. “Do you think she had a hard session today?”

“Yea maybe. I mean she hasn’t seemed the happiest the past few days.”

“Mhmm, do you think it's mainly due to Lena? She’s working way too hard.”

“When doesn’t she?!” Alex takes a sip of her drink. “Shall we order or wait for Em to decide?”

“Let’s wait.” Kara nods and sits back into the sofa cushions.

“But how is Lena, like, have you gone to see her recently?”

“Yea, I saw her last night on patrol. Actually had to forcibly remove her from her office but we had a good chat. She just holds onto what her damn family says too much.”

“Yea.” Alex says softly in agreement. She’s grown to really care for Lena, despite the rocky start. “But she’s taking time off soon for the- you know.”

“Yes, that's the plan.” They both ignore the word surgery and both feel their nerves bubbling up about it. “Are you taking any ti-”

The bathroom door opens, making the sisters drop their conversation and look at their baby sister.

Emma feels more relaxed after the warm shower but the sudden stop in her sisters’ conversation when she leaves the bathroom fills Emma with an uneasy feeling.

“Were you talking about me?” Emma signs with a tilt of her head as she continues to dry her hair with a towel.

“Just about what food we fancy.” Kara smiles too brightly. “And as usual we want the complete opposite and I was asking Alex what she thought you would want.”

“Yea and I didn’t get to answer cause that’s when you came in.”

Emma stops drying her hair and looks between her two sisters, her eyes darting back and forth. She doesn’t believe them but decides to go along with their explanation. “So what are the options? I mean, we can get different things right? Not like it will go to waste?”

“Now that is an excellent idea.” Alex nods in approval and gives Kara a bright smile as she unlocks her phone to open UberEats. “So Kara you wanted-”

“Potstickers.” Emma signs at the same time Kara enthusiastically yells the word out.

“You know me so well little one!” Kara laughs, making Emma pause, realising Kara hasn’t called her that in a while.

But she carries on drying her hair before flinging the towel towards Alex’s hamper.

“Em-” Alex starts to complain, thinking the towel would flop part of the way there. But the screwed up towel lands perfectly in the laundry basket. “Ma- huh, good throw.”

Emma bows and approaches where she normally sits in the middle of the sofa.

“Peanut, what do you fancy?” Alex looks up from her phone after putting in her order too.

Emma shrugs and grabs a handful of popcorn.

“That’s for the film!” Alex hollers and slaps Emma’s hand, causing her to jump. “Which you also need to choose what you want to watch.”

“I’ll do it!” Kara super speeds to where she left the USB, plugs it into Alex’s tv and hands Emma the remote to scroll through.

“But first I need to know what you want to eat.”

Emma shoves the rest of the popcorn in her mouth to sign. “What have you already ordered?”

“Chinese and pizza.”

“I’m happy with that. Not feeling overly hungry.”

“What?” Kara blinks in shock especially when Emma can eat a decent amount of food.

“What have you eaten today? Did you have a big breakfast?” Alex enquiries, also knowing it was unusual for Emma not to demand her own food.

“Yes Doctor Danvers, I have already eaten something today.” It was only a banana but Emma wasn’t going to admit that. Her session with Alistair has unsettled her stomach.

“Yea but what was it?” Alex presses but Emma ignores her by focusing on the tv and trying to decide what to watch. Making Alex narrow her eyes. “Emma.”

But her eyes move from Emma to Kara when her other sister motions for her to stop by signing. “Can’t you see something is wrong?”

“I know but I want to find out what!” Alex tries to sign out of Emma’s peripheral vision.

“Leave her alone Alex.” Kara warns, making Alex huff which causes Emma to look over at her and Alex gives her a soft smile.

“So, any idea what we are gonna watch?” Alex asks casually and Kara rolls her eyes.

“Lord Of The Rings Extended Editions?” Emma signs hopefully, knowing the full run time is nearly twelve hours long.

“I’m up for that!” Alex beams at the TV as the menu screen for ‘The Fellowship Of The Ring’ comes up.

“Me too!” Kara claps and settles back into the sofa. Emma smiles at both of her sisters and grabs the blanket draped over the back and places it over their laps.

“Thanks Em.”

The sisters watch the opening scenes fold out, explaining the lore of Middle Earth, the darkness and the moment all things were almost lost.

When the whistle of the Shire plays, Emma’s eyes well with tears and she sniffs. Always finding this piece of music touches her. She feels a hand on each thigh as her sisters reach out to comfort her at the same time and Emma hesitantly takes each hand. Warily to not harm them and being frightened to do so.

‘Rao, is this how Kara feels all the time?’

But Emma tries to push her earlier discovery away and gets lost in the film again.

The loud ringing of the apartment buzzer makes Emma almost jump out of her seat.

“Food!” Kara yells as she flies to the door and down the stairs to grab it from the delivery person.

Emma pauses the film and turns to Alex to sign with a raised eyebrow. “Do you think Kara is secretly a Hobbit?” Emma signs, causing Alex to almost spit out the drink she was sipping. “I mean, she has what, four breakfasts?”

Alex cackles loudly and Emma smiles at the sound.

“What are you laughing at?” Kara asks as she super speeds into the room with the food perfectly balanced in her hands.

“Oh, we were just comparing you to a Hobbit.” Alex teases and grins at the blonde.

“Alex!” Kara looks outraged. “I do not have big, hairy feet!”

“It was Emma’s idea!” Alex motions at Emma.

“Emma!” Kara shifts her focus to her baby sister but Emma shrugs and grabs her pizza off the pile.

“I mean, she’s not wrong.” Alex says as she opens a tub of potstickers for Emma and her to share.

“Alex!” Kara yells outraged.

“Kara!” Alex yells mockingly back.

“Emma!” The blonde signs and the trio start laughing. Alex rests her forehead against the side of Emma’s face. Emma turns her head to nuzzle Alex’s and smiles when she feels Kara lean over and hug both of them. Emma twists to place a kiss on Kara's shoulder.

Alex clears her throat and pulls away. “Shall we press play?”

Emma nods and grabs the remote, continuing the film.

The sisters watch the first film and immediately go into the second one, which to Emma, is her favourite. Especially the scenes with Arwen in.

When they get to the scene with Arwen talking to her father, Emma swallows deeply.

“There is still hope.” Arwen whispers back.

Emma’s stomach clenches at the words. Hope.

“Little one?” Kara turns to look at Emma, hearing her heartbeat changing.

Alex immediately grabs the remote to pause the film when she sees tears fill her sister's eyes and how Emma is desperately trying to hide them.

“No, I’m fine. Please continue the film.”

“Actually I need to use the bathroom!” Kara zips up and Alex pauses the film anyway.

She watches Emma closely as she rubs her eyes, trying to force away the tears. “Em? You know you can always tell me what’s going on? Right?”

Emma nods but doesn’t look Alex in the eye, knowing she’d break. “It was a hard session today, sorry.”

“Oh Em, please don’t apologise.” Alex says and pulls her sister into her lap, hugging her close. She feels Emma stiffen but slowly relaxes in her arms.

Kara comes back and Alex gives her a sad look.

“Everything okay?” She asks while sitting down next to them.

“It was a hard session.” Alex answers softly.

“Oh little one.” Kara places a gentle hand on Emma’s back and Emma can’t hold the tears back anymore as she buries her head into the crook of Alex’s shoulder.

Alex and Kara sadly gaze at each other, unsure what they can say or do as they listen to Emma’s hard breaths and sniffs.

Kara swallows and shuffles closer, hugging Emma’s back. “We got you little one, you're safe.” Kara feels Emma shift and move her hand over her shoulder to grab a hold of hers.

They don’t know how long they stay in this position but Kara and Alex do not move until Emma feels ready. They whisper words of love and encouragement and hope she hears them.

Suddenly Kara’s head snaps to the apartment door as she hears two sets of footprints approach. The door opens before she can do anything as Sam and Lena walk through. They both halt at the sight of the sisters.

“What's wrong?” Sam whispers quietly as she places the takeaway food on the coffee table and goes to Alex’s side, perching on the edge of the sofa.

“Hard session.” Alex answers softly and kisses Sam’s lips.

“Has she mentioned anything else?” Lena asks quietly and watches as Emma immediately lifts her head up and twists her neck to find her. Lena swallows as she sees the tears streaming down Emma’s reddened cheeks, her eyes puffy and bloodshot. “Oh love.” Lena says brokenly and goes to comfort her girlfriend, but halts as she doesn’t know where she can go.

Kara immediately moves out of the way, allowing Lena to sit next to Alex and hug Emma’s back. But Emma has other ideas as she twists and moves her upper body onto Lena and holds her close, burying her head into Lena’s neck but her lower half stays on Alex’s lap.

“We got you love.” Lena soothes while stroking Emma’s damp hair and back. She feels Kara scoot close and Lena signals that Kara can join the hug. Immediately Kara wraps an arm around Lena and places a hand gently on Emma’s lower back.

The four women quietly console the broken woman in between them and each other. Wishing nothing more than to heal Emma’s pain.

In time Emma loses steam and slowly lifts her head from the crook of Lena’s neck and sniffs heavily.

“Hi love.” Lena says gently and Emma nuzzles their foreheads together and breathes deeply.

Emma feels truly exhausted, not having cried like that in weeks, well, since she found out about her paralysed vocal chords.

“Is this the time though?” Emma’s ear picks up Alex quietly whispering to Sam.

“Maybe it will make her happy?” Sam offers back, making Emma turn her head towards the couple.

“What will make me happy?” Emma sloppily signs and Kara shifts so she can see the couple too. A small smile gracing her lips.

“Well, erm…” Alex pauses. “I’ve found I’m not really living here anymore because I’m mainly around Sam's apartment.”

“So, we’ve decided that Alex will move in with Ruby and I.” Sam finishes with a huge grin.

Emma blinks and her eyes dart around Alex’s apartment. She had noticed little trinkets and items missing but thought nothing of it.

“Congratulations!” Kara yells happily and jumps to her feet to hug her sister and Sam.

“Thanks Kara.” Alex hugs Kara back and turns back to Emma, who still looks like she’s processing. “Em?”

She watches as Emma’s eyes refocus and a small smile tugs at the corner of her right lip. She lifts her hands and holds one hand with the other and firmly shakes them. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks Em.” Alex smiles back.

“And, you can totally come crash at ours anytime, use the spare room and have sister nights.” Sam smiles at Emma and Kara.

“Well, not ANY-time.” Alex burrows her nose into her girlfriend’s cheek and Sam blushes and bites her lip.

Emma raises an eyebrow and smirks at Lena. She takes a shuddering deep breath as her body calms down from her breakdown.

“Do we want to finish the film and watch the third one another time?” Kara asks while looking through the takeout bags.

Missing the way Emma whips around to gape at her.

“But then it's not a movie marathon!”

“Kara.” Lena says to get the alien’s attention out of the bag containing burgers and french fries.

“Hmm?” Kara’s eyes are wide as she looks to see what her best friend wants.

“Emma was signing to you.”

“Sorry little one.” Kara says apologetically.

“But then it's not a movie marathon.”

“I agree!” Kara nods and shoves some french fries in her mouth. “Shall we get comfy?!”

“I need to pee.” Emma signs and carefully moves off her sister and girlfriend. But as she takes a step away from them the world morphs around her.

‘Please! Not now!’ Emma’s mind yells and she tries to halt her step, ultimately causing her to trip over her own feet.

“Wow careful Em!” Alex laughs. “Rao you are getting more clumsy than Kara!”

“Hey!” Kara yells back offended, making Lena and Sam chuckle in response.

Emma smiles back at them but moves cautiously to the bathroom door.

“Did she mention anything else?” Emma hears Lena ask as soon as she closes the bathroom door.

“No, she’s been quieter than normal.” Alex sighs heavily, making Emma’s heart clench.

“Like she wasn’t here.” Kara agrees.

“Well therapy sessions can be tough sometimes and it’s good Emma is obviously opening up.” Sam tries to reassure the group while plating up everyone's food.

Emma tries not to listen but her ears can’t help but pick up her loved one’s voices. She finishes what she is doing and washes her hands. Briefly pausing and leaning against the sink.

‘Should I tell them?’ Emma wonders and her eyes lift her to her distressed expression. Immediately she wipes her face and adopts a more neutral expression. ‘They have enough to deal with anyway.’

Suddenly she feels a piercing pain in her head. So severe that if she had her voice, Emma would have screamed out as she scrunches up her eyes. Emma then feels a droplet fall from her nose and her eyes shoot open. Her nose is bleeding. She quickly grabs some toilet paper to stem the flow. But, finds nothing more comes out, the nosebleed seemingly stops before it had even begun.

Confused, Emma repeatedly wipes at her nose a few times to make sure it had indeed stopped.

‘Weird.’ Emma mutters in her mind as she stares down at the blood on the tissue. Her head tilts as she assesses the colour and her eyebrows knit together.

“Emma?” Sam’s muffled voice calls through the door, making Emma recoil away from it. “Are you okay in there?”

Throwing the bloodied piece of tissue into the toilet, Emma flushes it, quickly washes her hands and moves towards the door, opening it to a concerned looking Sam.

“You okay?” She asks as her warm brown eyes seemingly studies the blonde in front of her.

Emma nods and gives her a small smile before moving past her to get back to the sofa.

Sam follows, watching Emma closely and sits on Alex’s turquoise chair. Emma hesitates, not sure where she can sit due to the sofa looking full with her sisters and Lena already on it.

“There’s room for you on here too, it will be a tight squeeze but I think we can manage.” Lena pats the small gap between her and Alex. Emma carefully wedges herself between the two and gratefully takes the plate Kara hands to her. Already feeling a bit hungry.

“Ready?” Alex asks while grabbing the remote.

“Ready!” Sam and Kara yell back and the room is again filled with the sights and sounds of Middle Earth.

-- -- --

Later that night Kara, Emma and Lena glide through the air towards Lena’s apartment.

“I mean, why couldn’t Gandalf have just got the Eagles to fly Frodo and the ring to Mount Doom?” Kara argues with Lena while Emma listens and smiles, enjoying the debate between the two.

“Because they are their own beings plus Sauron had the Fellbeast and the Nazgûl would have seen the eagles coming!”

“Huh, I guess. But! Then why didn’t the fellowship prepare for that? Have a few more elves firing arrows? Problem solved!” Kara declares as they touch down on the balcony.

“If you say so, Kara.” Lena beams at her best friend as Kara gently places her feet on solid ground and Emma lets off her sister.

“Well, goodnight.” Kara opens her arms and hugs Lena tight before turning and giving Emma a hug too.

“Night.” Lena yawns out and opens the balcony door with Emma following behind her and waving goodbye to Kara.

They get ready for bed together and Lena can’t help but notice the far off look in Emma’s eyes. Like her girlfriend was somewhere else.

When they slide into bed, Lena gently takes Emma’s hand and lies on her side to fully look at her girlfriend.

“Hey.” Lena gently whispers.

Emma slowly turns her head and her eyes focus on concerned green ones.

“Are you okay?”

Swallowing deeply Emma turns to lie on her side to face Lena. Her mind races with what to communicate. Should she tell her everything?

“Love, please don’t lie to me.” Lena says, seeing the clogs working in Emma’s mind, and the worry within her eyes. But suddenly Lena is yawning again. “Sorry.” She blinks and widens her eyes more to keep them open.

Emma gives her a small smile and watches her closely. ‘She’s exhausted. Tell her a half truth.’

“I’m nervous about next week.”

“That’s understandable. But we are all with you.” Lena nuzzles her forehead against Emma’s and gently kisses her lips. Her hand slowly trails down Emma’s body.

But Emma pulls back and her smile widens slightly. “Time for sleep.”

“But I want to make you feel good.” Lena yawns out, even though her eyelids start drooping from exhaustion. Emma slowly reaches out and softly runs the back of her finger down the bridge of Lena’s nose.

“No sleep.” Lena whines but feels her eyes closing anyway and a tender kiss being placed against her lips. “Lve yu.”

Emma squeezes Lena’s hand three times and watches her girlfriend fall into a deep, peaceful sleep. She stays there for a while, admiring how serene and stunning the raven haired beauty looks.

Slowly Emma rolls over, picks up her notebook and pencil and faces Lena again. She sits up against the headboard so she can sketch Lena, wanting to capture the moment and take in every detail of her love.

Once her task was done Emma places her things on the bedside table.

“Hope, can you turn the lights off please?” Emma signs and carefully slides down the bed to lay back down. Emma closes her eyes and breathes deeply, willing herself to go to sleep.

But in the dark, sinister voices start playing through her mind. Digging up her fears and dread.

Emma blows a frustrated breath through her nose and turns back towards Lena, opening her eyes to focus on the raven haired beauty. Emma’s breathing becomes heavy as she tries to stay calm, but ultimately her stomach clenches and thoughts begin pouring in of what will be happening this time next week. What will the outcome be of the surgery? Will it succeed?

As if sensing Emma’s distress in her sleep, Lena shuffles closer to her girlfriend and latches on. Unknowingly calming Emma down and relieving the ache in her heart. Emma gently kisses Lena’s head, pushing aside her fears and worries before closing her eyes, to fall into a peaceful sleep.

(Part Thirty Four)

[quitealotofsodapop]

MvA assorted headcanons

General:

So many years together has made the core monsters inseperable. If something affects one member, it affects the group.

All. The. Monsters. Are. Family.

It takes Susan a while to understand inside jokes and past incidents because of being the most recent addition.

There are Other anomalous creatures kept in Area 5X, but they are either non-sentient and/or are too dangerous to be kept around the more human-friendly monster group.

Area 5X is so gotdang big because they were expecting a lot more kaijus like Insecto to crop up. Sadly not many have surfaced to justify the space.

There’s a hangar in Area 5X full of wrecked UFOs. Some are spacecraft wreckage while others are stuff like weird meteors (Susan’s is in there), and at least one alien creature that got crystallised upon entering Earth’s atmosphere.

There’s significant difference in staff employed at different points throughout the past 50 years. There are far more women on the Area 5X worksheet than back in the 50s, and the guards are generally more sympathetic towards the monsters. Many modern staff members have been reprimanded or let go for failing to uphold secrecy, or for unnecessary cruelty towards the monsters.

Budget cuts were a legitmate concern up until the Battle of Golden Gate Bridge. The facility was far more barebones and sterile before the government had to formally recognise Area 5X’s importance. There have been a lot of redecorating at the facilty since the fat checks started coming in.

Putting individual characters under read due to length.

Susan:

Enjoys many hobbies considered stereotypically feminine; baking, sewing, cosmetics, etc...

Grandparents and extended family are farmers or are atleast connected to the business. Modesto is the agricultural centre of California after all. Her parents were the first of their generation to go against the mold and seek out white-collar careers.

Studied cosmetology in school and was working at a beauty salon to save up for her and Derek’s wedding.

Is very athletic and grew up doing a number of physical extracurriculars like cheerleading, dodgeball, and roller-derby.

Grew up being teased for being the shortest kid in her class/family. They still tease her for it.

Greatly fears causing collateral damage and/or harm to others through her size.

Has issues with anxiety, worsened only by her new job as “savior of earth”. She wishes for a confidant to tell her worries to.

Married life with Derek was doomed to fail. Susan had a plan in place for what came after the marriage, and focusing 100% on Derek’s career was not it. There’s also the line from Derek’s mother about Susan being “the weatherman’s wife”, implying that she was to be the homemaker and not have a career of her own. It’s possible that Susan was planning to settle down and have kids with Derek, but the lack of control she had in moving to Fresno implied that more was going on.

Is currently “taking a break” from love and dating, despite gaining many new admirers.

Tries her best to return to Modesto to visit her family and friends whenever possible, though work often keeps her away for weeks at a time.

If she retains her height-shifting abilities as in the series; Susan goes through really bad “growing” pains.

Link:

Was frozen in his relative late-teens during a cold snap. Got shifted around until he ended up somewhere in Greenland before being discovered by modern humans. Post-thaw he went a bit wild, swimming frantically back south to try and find his old enviroment.

Was one of many scrappy youngsters in his troop, with a number of adoptive parents. The strongest ruled the troop, and Link was fairly weak in comparision to the leaders. He had gotten into a fight the day of his freezing (over something silly in hindsight) and swam away to sulk. When he didn’t return after the cold snap - the troop accepted that he had likely died out on his own.

Likes to freak out humans by making up weird biology facts about his species and ones he’s fought against - like joking about laying eggs or having his tail dettach and regrow like a lizard. However there’s some things he has to ask about, because he doesn’t have medical knowledge or words to describe something.

A lot of his macho behavior came from imitating the guards who kept watch on him. 1950s violent military alpha males aren't a very good role model for someone who doesnt know what societal norms are yet. Link was a lot more insufferable back in the day but chilled out as he began interacting with other walks of life.

Has a high paternal instinct and immediately becomes softer around kids and smaller animals.

Has body language similar to a cat/alligator. Slaps his tail when angry or in deep thought. And yes; Link purrs/rumbles when happy.

Loves monster movies - especially the ones where the monsters “win”. He cried when he saw “Beauty and the Beast” and then immediately booed loudly when the Beast turned human.

Does Not Trust doctors or scientists due to bad past experiences. Will only go to Dr Cockroach and Monger if he ever gets hurt/ill. Gets stressed fast if he has to be in a waiting room or doctors office.

Link had no idea what gender indentities or orientations were until recently - he did come from a pre-human civilization that really didnt mind/care about the schemantics. It took him some time to wrap his head around it. He identifies himself as bisexual after much thought and many hours alone on the computer.

Don't press him about his body. He's built different from humans and cis people. He will punch anyone who doesnt respect his or anyone elses identity.

Has been in love before. It didn’t end well.

Will occasionally wear clothes, but finds it a challenge to find anything that fits him. Will give any shoes he finds to Dr Cockroach and BOB to eat.

The best driver/pilot out of all the monsters.

Dr Cockroach:

True name is Jaques-Yves Herbert. Prefers to just go by "Dr Cockroach" because he dislikes the association with his birth family.

Picks up human languages very easily, although not as quickly as he can understand animals.

Parents were a mixed scientist couple. His father was an aggressive “Strong British Man” that would beat him son down for not following orders or for not meeting his standards for a man. Dr C turned down both chances to attend his parents funerals.

This man isn’t straight. He probably uses old-fashioned slang when asked about romance such as; “I am Uranian” or “I wear a green carnation”. It took Susan a few times to realise what he meant, as she is used to a more open minded enviroment.

Got the idea of transforming into a cockroach from reading Franz Kafkas “The Metamorphosis” as a child. He sympathized with Gregor’s abusive situation, and began considering the possibilties of how one could survive better as a creature like a cockroach.

Studied in biology and entomology in the Uk before moving to the states to follow engineering. Obtained his degree in Dance as a “side gig” in University.

Has been barred from free access to the coffee maker/machine due to overnighters. Once stayed awake so long that he forgot the letter “R”.

Owned a terrarium of Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches throughout college. He mourned each of them when his roommate’s iguana got into the tank.

Was a "beatnik" back in the day and still kinda is. Embraces and encourages modern counterculture as he himself was not given such acceptance in his youth. He has however shamefully eaten his old Lenny Bruce album.

Hasn’t actually aged physically since his transformation. He attributes this to the fact that certain athropods can’t age physically beyond maturity. Link is very jealous.

Has obtained more degrees while in captivity, as Monger allowed him access to research and learning materials. He has however had his allowances revoked for previous escape attempts/doomsday devices.

Does still enjoy human food, but the cockroach instinct of "eat detritus" tends to overrule his eating choices. Can’t cook either.

Ironically a terrible driver. The damages from previous drives has made Monger restrict him from operating even a razor scooter.

BOB:

Pretty much considers himself human. Was created by them, raised by one (Monger), and talks like one. Gets sad when he's reminded that no other humans are blue blobs like him.

Absorbed some dna from the scientists present at his "birth", leading to his eye, speech, and omnivorous diet.

Doesnt actually need to breathe (as he can just absorb oxygen through his mass) but the fact that humans Do means that BOB thinks he has to as well.

Shares some physical characteristics with tomatoes/nightshade plants, as he is technically half tomato. He refuses to eat tomatos for this very reason, considering it cannibalism.

Attracts garden pests looking for a tomato plant. This unwittingly makes BOB a pretty good bug zapper.

Still retains his "mental broadcast" ability from "BOB's Big Break" although at a more subtle level. He tends to parrot the things he accidentally "eavesdropped" on.

Is empathetic, and can tell when others aren't doing ok emotionally. Will flop down on someone who’s really sad to comfort them. No brain, only heart.

Best cook out of the monsters. If he doesn’t forget what he’s making at least.

"Whats a gender? Can I eat it?"

Insectosaurus:

Core body is that of a Japanese Silkmoth, although she ended up being spliced with other animals present on the island during her initial mutation; namely ants and ground squirrels.

Eats over a literal ton of mulberry leaves per day. Also enjoys oranges.

Secretly wishes to be more humanoid.

Was only able to pupate and transform due to physical trauma. It seems that her transformation was like a “power-up” that required her to be in geniune distress for it to activate.

First language is Japanese. She learned it from the intial recovery team, and later developed an understanding of English from years in Area 5X.

Goes into torpor in cold weather. Pretty much impossible to wake her up for missions during Winter, as she needs to “rev up” before becoming mobile.

Still very much Link’s best friend. Still enjoys sports, chicks, and beer.

Monger:

Full name is; Warren Rex Monger.

Is very protective of the monsters and will defend them to the death.

Pretty much raised BOB (as seen when BOB was a baby blob in “Night of the Living Carrots”), and considers him his “freaky gelatinous son”.

Has a reputation of being a “control-freak” due to his aggressive overseeing of the monsters’ containment. This toughness is partly because of incidents that occured without his knowledge. Lets just say some scientists have been wedgied/fired for running experiments on the monsters without Monger’s approval.

Has a very “Ron Swanson” emotional response and view of the world. Crying is acceptable only at funerals and at the Grand Canyon (if he hadn’t lost his tear ducts in the war).

Has been married multiple times. Will not confirm or deny if he is currently seeing anyone.

Invisible Man/TiM:

Legit got out but no one at Area 5X is sure how. He suffered a geniune medical emergency and disappeared after surgery. The other monsters were informed that he died from complications to deter them from getting escape ideas.

Is able to be detected in Infrared light. Dr Cockroach managed to rig up goggles to view TiM in case of injury and to foil pranks.

Was a scientist working on an invisibility potion for the military and used himself as a guinea pig. Hasn’t actually been able to replicate his results since - thinks the effect may have been caused by a genetic abnormality.

Dr Cockroach and him are massive rivals. Both actually met eachother pre-transformation through a CalTech expedition. This makes the pair one of few people that have seen the others human face.

Is 100% naked. Was forced to wear clothing once this was discovered.

A massive prankster and a cynic. Him and Link were a force to be reckoned with.

Has revisted the facility multiple times and has started a number of ghost stories.

Any additions are welcome! I proably have alot more to dump about. Might make one of the alien characters from the series

[bunni-teeth81]

Slender bros rewritten by me

Cause I want character development

(This is mostly Offender, trender, and Splendor. Also if you like Slendey/slender dad you might not wanna read this cause I do not make him a good guy in the slightest)

Possible tw for mention sexual assault, pedolophilia, necrophilia, and zoophilia!

To start off, Offender is not a rapist, he isn’t a pedo, and he doesn’t fuck animals

He doesn’t do anything without consent, plain and simple. Him being all those things was a rumor started by someone he fucked in the past who got caught cheating. They said Offender forced them and the rumors have escalated since with his legend.

He actively avoids children cause he doesn’t like them. So he literally couldn’t be a pedo.

He doesn’t hate kids, he just prefers to not be around them.

He won’t fuck someone with kids unless the kids are out of the house and somewhere safe.

He’s wary about fucking 18 and 19 year olds and usually doesn’t

Occasionally if he sees a kid sad while he’s on a walk or whatever he’ll give them some daisies or something. Though they kinda just appear near the kid. He doesn’t actually go near them.

Though he will fuck old people. He has no problem with that. But he will go gentler cause they’re frail

He likes animals, but not like that. Like.. ew

He has a kind of respect for the dead, even people he’s killed to eat, so he’d never do that. Also it goes back to the consent thing. They can’t consent so he ain’t gonna fuck them.

He’s pansexual.

He’s very kinky, obviously. He’s willing to do pretty much anything in bed

He prefers to top but he has no problem being pegged-

Has tried every drug there is.

Usually just sticks to weed, alcohol, crack, shrooms, and the occasional LSD

Bath salts fucked him up majorly and he will never do them again.

He works for trender, who has a whole ass company (will be touched on later)

He helps trender make clothes for more alt styles (punk, grunge, goth, emo, all that good stuff) and he helps with lingerie (masc and fem. trender makes both. Offender tests it out and gives feedback on what could be added or changed)

He also finds models for Trender (there’s really no qualifications to be a model, you kinda just have to want to be one. Trender, his assistants, and other models will help fill new models in. And they never have to wear something they don’t want or pose a way that makes them uncomfortable. also theres do discrimination when it comes to models, any one of any race, body type, gender (or lack there of), sexuality, and age to an extent (depending on the clothes being modeled and (if parent permission is needed if they get it)) are welcome)

He also does side jobs like art (he does realistic art) plays piano or violin for songs, every so often he’ll join a strip club. Definitely has an OF.

He learned piano from his dad. Their dad made them all learn piano. His dad was very against him learning violin but his mother let him learn it (she knew how to play)

Their parents kept them pretty reserved from the rest of the world (particularly humans) for safety reasons. The brothers didn’t find out they were the only ones of their kind till they were like teens and went hunting for the first time.

Their parents suddenly disappeared when they were teens. They still haven’t found them and have no idea what happened to them.

Zalgo killed them cause the dad was constantly fighting him, so was the mom but less so.

There were originally 5 brothers, but one got murdered (It was Tenderman. Who wouldve been the oldest, then slender, offender and trender are twins, then splendor)

They don’t know how tender was murdered. All they know is they can be murdered. They still haven’t figured out how tho.

They do know that they can regenerate any part of their body (teeth and nails grow back almost instantly, limbs take longer, they can just put their head where it should be and the bone, muscle, skin, tissue and all that will pull back together, skin can either regenerate in about an hour or two or a couple days depending on the size of the wound. Their organs can regenerate but it takes like a month.)

Drugs don’t effect them the same way they do us. Our massive hangovers that put us out of commission is what happens after they do LSD. A regular hangover for us is what happens when they do coke or a drink shit ton of alcohol.

Offender has the highest tolerance, then it’s trender, splendor, and Slender has the lowest cause he hasn’t done drugs.

Splendor has tried them but doesn’t like doing them. He doesn’t drink much either.

Trender will do them every so often, usually with Offender. He either drinks or smokes a blunt usually. Shrooms are for special occasions, and LSD gives him major anxiety so he doesn’t do it.

Trender and Offender were the only ones to try bath salts. They don’t know what happened. Splendor says they disappeared for a month and murdered a shit ton of people. They almost got caught. And at some point Offender ate a whole ass headstone and took a chunk out of a mausoleum

Slender hunts whenever the hell he wants, he doesn’t care about being caught

Offender hunts every couple of months or so

Trender hunts about 2 times a year. He spreads out his food pretty evenly

Splendor hates hunting and usually Offender or Trender will do it for them. They’ll maybe hunt once a year.

Human food to them is like sweets to us. They can’t live off it but it’ll keep them from starving. If they don’t eat human for about 3-4 years they’ll start to starve, but the process is slow and would probably take a while to actually kill them

Trender, Splendor, and Offender try not to get caught or make suspicions rise. They just wanna live their lives.

The amount of people they consume and how long they stay in their human form determines their power levels.

Slender is the most powerful, then Splendor, Offender, and Trender is the least powerful (but they’re all still mega powerful)

Slender is never in his human form and consumes humans whenever he wants so he has nothing holding back his power

Splendor may not eat human much but they’re rarely ever in his human form. And if they are it’s not for more than an hour usually

Offender is in his human form about 50% of the time. He’s in his normal form at home or hunting and any other time he’s human so-

Trender is in his human form like 90% of the time since he spends most of his time at work (he’s a workaholic to the highest extent. When it becomes really bad is when Offender will step in and be like “hey let’s grab a drink and chill out”)

Offender and Slender’s relationship is like Raph and Leo’s from tmnt if their relationship was genuine hatred and violent

Splendor tries to med their relationship and makes times where they all hang out and have dinner together but to no avail

This is the only time Slender can be seen in his human form. He doesn’t want to go but for some reason he does

Slender is stuck in his ways

Their dad hated humans with a passion, and Slender looked up to their father and wanted to be exactly like him so the hatred rubbed off

Slender blames humans for his parents disappearing and Tender’s death. Tender was the brother he bonded with the most

Splendor used to be a really emotional kid and their father hated that so now they bottle up everything

Their mother tried to help as best she could

V support

Trender’s company is a fashion company that produces just about everything

And the sizes go up to 4 or 5 x

And the prices are reasonable and don’t go up with the size

Trender really doesn’t give to shits about money. If he could he’d just give everything he makes away but unfortunately he needs some money to produce what he makes.

He makes kids clothing, teens clothing, adults clothing in every aesthetic you can think of. Rarely will you see basic shit from him

He makes jewelry (real and fake (for the kiddies) and specifies very obviously which is which so someone doesn’t accidentally buy the wrong one)

He makes shoes!

His prices are usually around 10-25 dollars for clothing, sometimes 30 if it’s a specific brand (like Gorillaz or something. He doesn’t work with brands like Victoria secret, brands that have sweat shops, things like that. He doesn’t support them whatsoever)

His business is huge but he always listens to the people and tries to improve. And all his products are made ethically. He tries in every way possible to produce good products without polluting the earth more

Splendor usually only hangs around babies-young adults. They help them through rough home lives, trauma, and helps them find joy. They do everything they can to make them feel better

Splendor is the one who takes care of Sally. And they feels incredibly guilty for not being able to stop what happened to her, or punish her uncle himself.

Animals and mystical creatures are drawn to them and their home. They go to it for shelter and safety, as well as some food. But because Splendor isn’t always there they have a nymph friend there to look after everything.

Slenderman is the only one with proxies

Splendor is demisexual and bi, leaning towards men

Trender is queer and demisexual/demiromantic

Slender doesn’t love anything. Ever.

Trender gets annoyed easily but rarely ever gets pissed pissed (like original face altering pissed) if he does it’s either cause someone did something to his brothers or his models. And the unfortunate soul who did such will never be seen again afterwards

Offender doesn’t really get pissed pissed cause he usually either bottles it up or makes a joke out of it. It’s really only if something happens to his brothers that he gets pissed pissed.

Splendor has a list of people they wish they could rip to shreds. All of them parents. But they don’t want to do that to the children. They only intervenes and gets pissed pissed when the abuse gets physical or sexual. When it’s physically they’ll give the parent one change to never do that again. They’ll scare the shit outta them but won’t hurt them. If it’s sexual they kill them. Plain and simple.

Splendor started wearing pokadots to make the kids happy. Trender hates the suit but doesn’t comment usually

Splendor’s black hands are a skin disease their species can have. The skin is black and kinda ridged.

Splendor wears gloves because of their skin disease. the blood stains and they can’t get it out. Also they’re very insecure about their disease

Splendor put the bells on their tendrils so their movements didn’t scare the kids. They would always know when he was moving and where he was moving to so they’d be more comfortable. It was painful but it was worth it

Slender was in the woods when he was younger and almost got attacked by humans, but his mother came and saved him. (Her tendrils could be used as a shield)

Eden is not related to the brothers.

But eden looks a lot like their mother, so much so that Spendor legitimately mistakes her for their mother.

Slender’s human name is John (splendor had to come up with it on the spot leave them be)

Offender’s human name is Dimitri and I’ll die on this hill

Splendor’s human name is Faer

Trender’s human name is Quael

They can change their physical appearance to be fem or masc. like their body can change.

Slender doesn’t give two shits about pronouns

Offender doesn’t care but he/they/xem works

Trender goes by he/him

Splendor goes by they/them

(Im including Slenderwoman now so uh... 🤷)

Her hair is her tendrils.

She’s not part of the Slender bro family nor does she know they exist (though eventually she will. She’s way younger than them so)

✨Lesbian✨

Has met Slenderman tho. She hates him

Like genuinely hates his guts

She hates almost sharing a name with him.

Prefers to go by her human name; Eden

As long as you don’t use the pronouns he/him she doesn’t care.

She just kinda... appeared at the ripe age of 4? (She doesn’t remember anything past 4 so that’s what if feels like to her.)

Splendor is a switch and you can’t change my mind

Trender is also a switch

Slender doesn’t get any cause he’d kill them, purposely or not, being radioactive and all.

Eden is a top but can bottom is convinced

Offender, Splendor, Trender, and Eden can all control their radiation output so they can glitch tech when they chose and won’t hurt anyone

Slender could but doesn’t want to 🤷

They can be killed by their hearts getting impaled. The reason they don’t know that is because the skin will heal, but the heart can’t.

Offenderman’s real name isn’t Offenderman. That name was dubbed to him when people believed the rumors of him. But he kept it. He can’t really explain why but he did. And now he forgets it’s not his real name sometimes. Though he does prefer to go by Offender/Smexy.

Splendor calls him Offendy and he’s the only one allowed to do so

Trended has four arms, plus his tendrils. He can hide his second pair of arms like his tendrils but it takes energy

Getting their limbs/tendrils cut off only stings to them. They’re only in full on pain when their organs are involved

Eden’s blood has healing properties.

Someone can be turned immortal by being injected with one of the brother’s (or Eden’s) blood in large amounts. It’s extremely painful though.

Doing it slowly can ease the pain, so doing it over a week’s time nonstop will get the job done.

The injected person will be very weak after it for a couple days. A week. 2 weeks in worse cases.

The only one who’s done this is Splendor. They were dating a guy for a very long time and they told him about the procedure and he wanted it. After gaining back his strength he left Splendor. They’re not entirely over this even though it happened a long time ago.

They (mainly Offender and Trender) had to track him down and kill him. (Ya know, heart stuff)

That’s when they figured that’s probably how they could get murdered 

[nctrsn20]

THE ELINOVAS' ANGELS

ELINOVAS' ANGELS [inspired by VICTORIA SECRET ANGELS] are a group of girls who are known for empowering women and they are the girls of NCT.

Originally, it was a brand group for supermodels but the daughter of the founders' company bought the name for various brandings.

Introducing 2/3 of ELINOVAS' ANGELS who are WAYV's SOULMATES. Everyone in ELINOVAS' ANGELS have strong bonds with each other but these girls are known for having each others' back.

BIRTH NAME ― Nicole Elly Nelson

NICKNAME ― Retired Assassin, Ex-Hitman

STAGE NAME ― -

OCCUPATION ― Bodyguard

IMPORTANT RELATIVE(S)/SIBLING(S) ―

CURRENT LOCATION & DESTINATION ― FRANCE ⤍ KOREA

used to be a bodyguard for WAYV but now she is officially a bodyguard for Elinovas Sisters

a focused, independent and guarded individual (which the girls would always ask her to relax but she won't listen to them)

there's a reason why she is mostly guarded, and that's because it's because of her tragic childhood - she had an older sister but she was shoot by the head from protecting her younger sister, which is herself

since then she is always on a look-out due to her work too

started to use her trauma as work and that's how she became a bodyguard

which leads to meeting Kun and the others (they were slightly stubborn and mean to her at first but thanks to Kun, they kind of slowly began to accept her)

Kun is everything to her, it was as if she depended Kun on her closed-off emotions, that he had to sit down with WAYV at first to find solutions for her and then sat down with her (the boys understood the assignment)

used to be detached but as she begins her journey with WAYV, she kind of learn from the boys' on how to involve herself with others (in a good way), helping the others with the knowledge she has

she even took a bullet for Kun and that's how she realized she is in love with him and it was so obvious (she was even more shook that Kun confessed to her and yeah, let's just say they were in their own world)

meeting the Elinovas Sisters has made her more empathetic and with just a week of spending time with each other, they treated her as a sister

and thanks to the Elinovas Sisters as they introduced her to the other Elinovas Angels girls, she realized that DNA doesn't make a family

BIRTH NAME ― Alyona Alice Elinova

NICKNAME ― Party Queen, Ms Badass

STAGE NAME ― Alice Elinova

OCCUPATION ― (Main) Face of ELINOVAS Co, Model

IMPORTANT RELATIVE(S)/SIBLING(S) ― Yelena Olivia Elinova (Oldest), Aurelia Rose Elinova (Youngest), Leah Antonella Ivanova (Cousin)

CURRENT LOCATION & DESTINATION ― FRANCE ⤍ KOREA

5/7 original super-model of ELINOVAS ANGELS

face of ELINOVAS Co.

just like the youngest, she is loved by many but also hated too

out of the 3 sisters plus her cousin, she is WELL-known to break the rules or regulations (for example, when she goes parties or events in the club as a representative of the company, she isn't suppose to drink 2 shots but she didn't care at all)

most clubs would invite her as a guest

known for handling her alcohol well

the day where she was drugged, is the day when she met Ten (yes, she was drugged by one of Ten's enemies and luckily he was there)

it was really a mess that day but she remembered being in one of the rooms in Ten's club and no one is in the room, so she decided to make a exit since she was all fine but as soon as she took a turn, she was met by Ten and she swore she could see Ten's eyes widened twice (the atmosphere was weird as well as what she felt, and so she decided to walk passed him - not knowing that he was the one who saved her)

fast forward to a few months with him trying to get close to her and soon turns into a weird tension, and one fine night became a night where both her and Ten ended up in one of Taeyong's hotel (yes, they slept together as in SmEXy)

and their relationship kind of grew from there - he was clingy, sweet, kind of funny and adventurous (she didn't know what they were at that point, friends don't make out with each other unless they were fwb but she knew they were more than that since they told each other regarding their personal lives)

when she thought that she had something special with him, it all came crashing down when she saw him with a girl from a rival group of Elinovas Angels being all close and personal (what's worse she had to see them make-out and shit, poor Alyona)

damn homegirl went pissed that she had to bail out of the event and she NEVER exits out of events early (let's just say she personally drove herself to the Elinovas Angels mansion and cried her hearts out, also to see Lucas and that's when she finds out about another side of Ten according to Lucas)

definitely a red-flag to her from what Lucas said (homeboy said Ten has different girls every week but according to Lucas and the other WAYV members, he actually talked about Alyona to them, saying positive stuff about her which Ten had never done before which was talking about the girls he hangout with)

every time she tries to avoid Ten, she keeps on seeing him as if they were fated to be together and one day they had a one to one talk which made Ten chase after her, realizing that he loves her and weirdly, she can't seem to stay away from him too

BIRTH NAME ― Chua Nina Liling

NICKNAME ― Lingling

STAGE NAME ― Chua Liling

OCCUPATION ― (Main) Model & Ambassador of CHUA CO.

IMPORTANT RELATIVE(S)/SIBLING(S) ―

CURRENT LOCATION & DESTINATION ― FRANCE ⤍ KOREA

6/7 original supermodel of ELINOVAS ANGELS

known for having an endearing face but a sexy body

out of the girls, she is the most calm person (no wonder she gets along so well with Winwin)

is quiet too but have to force herself to be sociable when in parties or events

knows about NCT since her parents are in business terms with both Taeyong and Yelena

but isn't aware that her high-school friend is a member of NCT (he didn't think that that was the same Dong Sicheng she knew during high school)

until she literally saw him from a corner while talking to an important guest (she is lucky that she can multitask - lowkey eyeing onto someone while conversing)

somehow her eyes made the other party which is Winwin noticed and hence they made eye contact

girl is shook

it was her that approach him, she didn't waste no time to go to the other side of the room (they exchanged words and somehow she got his number)

wasn't aware that in his eyes that she is talkative but in her eyes, he changed (he became more manly)

isn't surprised that he lives in Korea but she is more surprised that he is a member of NCT after seeing Taeyong basically hugging Winwin like a koala

they became more closer with Winwin inviting her to hang-out with the other NCT members (at the same time he introduced her to Wayv members)

at first, she isn't fond of the members but she is very fond of some of the members' girlfriends (she works for Elinovas' Co. as a model although she has her own family business)

sticks with Winwin in events where the whole NCT is there

Winwin doesn't know this but she likes him lowkey

BIRTH NAME ― Emilia Crystal Carter

NICKNAME ― Emi, Mimi

STAGE NAME ― Crystal Carter

OCCUPATION ― Model

IMPORTANT RELATIVE(S)/SIBLING(S) ― Jackson Wang (Got7)

CURRENT LOCATION & DESTINATION ― FRANCE ⤍ KOREA

the last original supermodel of ELINOVAS ANGELS

known for being Jackson Wang's best friend, partner in crime and crazy cousin

also known for having a rbf (resting bitch face) during runways

people thought that she is his sister but no, they are just cousins who would always invited to family events

at first she wasn't close with Jackson but because both has seen each other faces, he thought might as well they became friends and someone close since they are like a family

two family gatherings already made them became close friends

she would always be invited in the Wang Company parties

now let's fast forward on how she rescues Lucas one time in a club

there is a reason why she kind of save him - that's because she knows who is Lucas thanks to Jackson

Lucas was actually invited to one of the events and she noticed him thanks to Jackson because he kept on rambling about this certain individual saying that she should be friends with him and their energy match bla bla bla (she honestly didn't listen to him fully but what she remembers that this person is tall, he is even taller than her)

so yeah she saved him (although she didn't know any context but she heard the girl saying Lucas is a liar and saying he didn't have a girlfriend) by saying she is Lucas girlfriend

only the Elinovas Angels knows this but she is a good actor - she knows how to act, for example if she is extremely angry or extremely sad - bro she didn't even cry, she just covers it with a smile (only god knows how emotional she is)

she tends to hide her true feelings

and that incident made both of them close and she had to tell Lucas that she is Jackson's crazy cousin that everyone talks/knows about

when she says she knows Lucas, she knows about Lucas's work and what he does during tasks that was given by his own bosses

she was surprised that Lucas is actually a gentleman although he flirts a lot, yet he is respectful to her

he didn't even touch her or anything even when he accidentally made skin contact, he would jump like afar in surprise (he is a very funny guy)

maybe that's why she likes him more now

BIRTH NAME ― Daniella Violette Allen

NICKNAME ― Dany, Ella, Vio

STAGE NAME ― Violet

OCCUPATION ― Singer-Performer

IMPORTANT RELATIVE(S)/SIBLING(S) ― Chani (SF9)

CURRENT LOCATION & DESTINATION ― LAS VEGAS ⤍ KOREA

a talented underground singer

a shy individual but once you get to know her, she is a confident type of girl that you actually forget how she is when you first meet her

her fans wanted her to be more famous but tbh she prefers to perform underground instead of performing in an enclosed area

she likes to perform outdoors no matter how freezing it could be

and she has a reason why she stayed underground and that is because of her parents and her brother (she is adopted and her parents along with her brothers are involved in the mafia business)

though she wanted to stay out of it, her parents would always ask her to perform for their friends' events hence she just went along with their request (and she gets paid thrice as the ones she perform outside, who wouldn't say 'yes')

her brother, Chani, is also a member of SF9 who is also friends with NCT (she didn't know much but she heard they had work together)

is very close with her brother although she is adopted (he kind of tells her everything, what had happened both bad and good and she would tell him any interesting events that had happened between her and her fans)

by now she knows what is going on in the mafia world although she didn't want to get involve (she thought it's better to know what is going on around her to avoid incidents)

somehow she always ends up being Chani's plus one in social events (compared to both of them, she is more sociable than Chani)

and somehow and weirdly she is introduced to Kun thanks to Chani and next few events she attended with Chani, she became close with Kun

and the next few days she has a performance at an underground alley and surprisingly from far she saw someone kind of looking suspicious (she almost wanted to call security but she saw a glimpse of the individual face)

she saw everything from him being all lowkey and seeing a few men somehow looking for someone that this was the moment to call her security to secure her fans who were chilling while enjoying her performing

she can't help but to glance at his area not knowing she actually made eye contact with him (she is a professional that she just smiled it off although on the inside she is wondering who on earth would a NCT member be outside in this timing?)

after the performance ended, she didn't think twice to go after him and she saw a glimpse of white stuff on his packet already knowing what he was doing (she surprised herself by telling him what she knows about the men she saw, telling him that those guys are notorious for cheating money)

and that's how they became strangers to friends then to close friends (which Xiaojun would actually accompany her whenever she has performance underground or sketchy places)

until one day Xiaojun accidentally confessed to her as they sat down drinking after a performance (she confessed coolly too and she kissed him on the lips first, that was the day they started dating and they started to make the relationship official)

a very lowkey relationship - that's because she didn't want to cause trouble for Xiaojun and he didn't want cause trouble to her too since he is in a very well-known mafia group

BIRTH NAME ― Allison Jamie Taylor

NICKNAME ― Ally, Jamy

STAGE NAME ― -

OCCUPATION ― Artist

IMPORTANT RELATIVE(S)/SIBLING(S) ― Adriana Marie Taylor (Oldest)

CURRENT LOCATION & DESTINATION ― KOREA

unlike her older sister who is described as boring and work-oriented, she is more to being a curious and carefree individual

she is friendly too but unfortunately, her face didn't allow her to be friendly (she has a rbf)

people are scared of her so she decided to just do her own things which is painting

unlike her sister who in more involve in business terms, she is more casual in terms of her art business

has her own art studio

she often does art exhibition

other artists calls her the 'exhibit angel' because first she does regular exhibition (like thrice a month) and lastly, she would divide the amount she receive by selling her works then to donate it to the ones in need

sometimes, people would come to her art studio for her to paint a piece of them but they end up buying the ones that were in the studio

which of course she allows but she had kept one particular portrait secure and framed on the wall

many people question her what is the drawing about and she could only laugh and smile before gazing into the painting, telling them it was someone who she never fails to remember

the only person who she told about that particular painting is of course her older sister (that's because the older one visited the younger in the middle of the night since she missed the family dinner to only find her being covered by multiple colors on her hands, seeing she was painting a particular painting)

she told her older sister that it was someone from high school, she actually considered him as her first love although she never confessed to him and sadly he left out of nowhere - although he was really shy at that time, in the long run when they were close, he was funny, nice and kind.

she remembered feeling gloomy for a whole month whenever she is in school, seeing the empty chair beside her but she get used to it throughout the following years in high school

back to present, one day she decided to accompany her parents' who are old and they wanted to go to this specific workshop and she just went along to accompany them

she didn't even bother to listen to what her parents talking or who they are talking to as soon

as they enter the workshop, she is fascinated with different kind of tools on the wall

the place was very bright and colorful although she figured out all of them were different car parts (that's when she realized that she is in a car workshop, but somehow, this was somehow a different type of workshop)

until she met the eye-contact of the owner of the workshop, she didn't even hesitate to frown deeply while pointing fingers calling his name (she instantly recognize him, he never change at all, he is the only boy she knew who looks like Prince Eric hence that nickname who she usually call him is strictly his)

the boy who she missed is standing just a few steps away from her, pointing his fingers to her too

there was too much to talk about that she gave him her number when he ask her questions, Hendery gave her his number too

maybe because it was all a sudden when they wanted to start talking, her parents had already called her out as they wanted to leave after making a few purchases

she couldn't help but gave him a look where she didn't want to leave but he ensured her that he will call her right after he ended his shift

she gets to know that Hendery is working for NCT, a member of Wayv and he owns the car workshop, he had to leave high school as he had to move to China because of NCT related problems

she couldn't help but miss him, causing her to slowly fall for him

BIRTH NAME ― Leah Antonella Ivanova

NICKNAME ― Lia, Nella

STAGE NAME ― -

OCCUPATION ― (Main) Social Work Degree Student, Wardrobe Stylist (Theatre)

IMPORTANT RELATIVE(S)/SIBLING(S) ― Yelena Olivia Elinova, Alyona Alice Elinova, Aurelia Rose Elinova

CURRENT LOCATION & DESTINATION ― FRANCE ⤍ KOREA

known for being the tsundere in the Elinovas family and Ivanova family

very very very close with the Elinovas Sisters (she is actually consider a sister rather than a cousin to Yelena, Alyona and Aurelia)

she is the only one who isn't well-known compared to her cousins

prefers to be lowkey

although her family is rich, she decided to work her own which is a wardrobe stylist located near her university (currently)

but she works for Yelena too (surprisingly she is good at styling the models so Yelena only invited her only for overseas runways)

is an introvert at first but as you get to know her, she is more than that

a competitive smart-ass in terms of studies

really smart

isn't friendly in class but is helpful when someone genuinely needs her help in terms of studies

known to score high marks consecutively in her class

until a boy named Yangyang came into her class and he destroyed her rankings (she hates his name as soon as he introduced himself as a new classmate and she even hates him more when he beats her by one mark)

and this would happen for the following months till somehow they openly hate each other, and the class would just let them fought since they were the smartest (they are in their own world where their classmates didn't even have any words to insult them)

one particular day which she somehow was pissed at Yangyang for no reason and she had said words which she didn't meant but Yangyang didn't care at all (and she felt bad the end of the day so she decided to follow him and she didn't even know how she ended up driving while chasing after Yangyang who was running)

she decided to just get him onto her own car and he didn't even waste no time to argue (as she was driving, let's just say she is lucky that she is a very good driver and she knows how to avoid more damage to both of them since gunshots were being fired)

kind of figured out he is working for NCT not knowing he was actually a member

fast forward to college where they attended the same college but different courses, kind of awkward at first but they never fail to say 'hi' when they see each other' in the hallways

somehow thanks to that incident, they got each other's phone number thanks to Kun that day when she was being asked by Taeyong and Kun

they were considered as friends by now (but to Yangyang, she was more than a friend to him)

until one day a few people came in to her house on bright morning of Monday where she is just about to go to school

she couldn't remember what happened but she was knocked out good on the head, and she was awakened

the first thing she sees is Yangyang basically sleeping at the side of an unknown bed

[ MASTERLIST ]

[ N-WAYV MOODBOARDS ]

[ N-127 MOODBOARDS ] - [ 127'S SOULMATES ]

[ N-DREAM MOODBOARDS ] - [ N-DREAM’S SOULMATES ]

[basicjetsetter]

The Fall of Deus

♡ Pairing: Mob!Peter Parker x BlackFemale!Reader

♧ Setting: The Terrace Room in The Plaza Hotel, New York

♤ Warnings: Heavy Suspense, Language, Adult Themes, Violence, Gambling, Drinking

♢ Word Count: 6.5k

☆ A/N: No joke, this took me about two years to conceptualize. Two freaking years. But I can 100% say it was worth it to write every word. This is by far one of my most creative works and I love that I get to finally share it with you all. Please hit like if you enjoy it, leave me a lil’ comment and a reblog if you love it. Happy reading!

You couldn’t help but notice and admire how pretty the sky appeared when it was tinged in the auroral haze of an autumn morning and backdropped by the twinkling glass panes of New York’s notorious skyscrapers. Though autumn’s end isn’t for a couple of weeks, the lukewarm season allowed Manhattan a preview of winter’s frigid air. The city's constant roar hummed down to a distant lullaby as you walked up the steps and in through the doors of the Metropolitan Detention Center.

It’s an impressively modern building, one you’ve become intimately familiar with in the past couple of years. Everything inside screams order, from the plain white, bleach-scented linoleum floors to the rows upon rows of caged boxes containing a range of one-time offenders, serial criminals, and constant jailbirds. The first time you ever entered the establishment, it struck you just how much the atmosphere felt devoid and depraved, almost as if hope and happiness got stopped, frisked, and turned away at the door. You never liked staying more than necessary.

None of the four guards stationed along the main lobby walls paid you any attention as you marched up to the reception desk. Their inattention didn’t spawn out of contempt but out of fear. They knew who you were here for.

The receptionist, on the other hand, wouldn’t care if the Queen of England herself hop-scotched through the front entrance, bowed, and bestowed him the coveted Royal Crown on a jewel-encrusted platter.

He certainly never took an interest in your frequent visits. The first time you set foot into this building, a bright-eyed attorney anxious to speak with her first client, the oaf of a man merely grunted at your carefully constructed introductions and waved you off like a pesky fly. On a typical day, your exchange of words consisted of him curtly asking you to state your business while he half-listened to your response and stabbed at his keyboard with blunt fingers. Detaching his gaze from the monitor might have required exhaustion of his half-assed energy.

Today wasn’t unlike any other day. Phillips told you your client's location, even though you both knew the area by heart. Third floor. Cell Block E. Number 7. Always Number 7. Lucky Number 7.

Most of your ordinary clients got shipped to this facility and locked up with the rest of the inmates until you picked up their case. Unlike this particular client you planned on springing today, those other men lacked the say-so to determine their cell. None of them came close to his status. They didn’t have the power nor the money to hire a personal attorney, and none of their crimes could ever match those of the calculated, cunning man who controlled all New York's avenues and boulevards.

In the streets, he’s known as Deus. Depending on how close you are in his circle, he's either Parker or Pete. The name in the system is Peter Benjamin Parker. Your fiancé.

| Last Evening  |

“Stop fidgeting with your collar, Peter.”

“This fucking bowtie keeps… shit… it keeps choking me.” He growled out his frustration. “I’m going to fire that damn stylist.”

You threw him an exasperated glare as he ripped off the accessory. “Maybe if you hadn’t told him to pick any old bowtie, you wouldn’t be whining so much.”

“Remind me again why you're forcing me to wear this, anyway?” He paused for effect, placing his hand under his chin like Rodin’s The Thinker, and then snapped his fingers in dramatic realization. “Oh, right! Because Stark is a pretentious asshole, who thinks tuxedos are mandatory at all events thrown in his honor.”

Peter may hate the idea of wearing a formal tuxedo for the whole night, but you were going to enjoy every last minute of him in that attire, mainly because he resembles a model who stepped right off the page of a GQ cover. The low-lighting in this limousine certainly did its best to heighten your mood, highlighting the sharp angles of Peter’s clenched jaw. You’d have to remember to send Pepper a Thank You basket for planning the event as Black Tie.

“Can you at least pretend to get along with Tony tonight?” To see if his jaw could tighten any further, you coyly add, “He is the new Governor of New York, after all.”

Mission accomplished. Peter leaned his head back against the headrest and rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hands, the light that glinted off of his platinum Rolex creating a scattered array of lights against the black leather seats. You pried your eyes off the extension of his neck as he spoke. “Great,” he huffed. “That’s exactly what I need right now. A gloating Stark who’s now legally duty-bound to hound my ass. One more thing to think about.”

As the limo pulled up to a slow halt in front of the Plaza Hotel, you grabbed one of Peter’s hands and held it until his eyes met yours. You gave him a reassuring smile and said, “Everything’s going to be alright, baby.”

The driver opened the door before Peter could speak and held out his gloved hand for you. You’ve been to the Plaza Hotel on many occasions, mostly business, and yet the sight of the château-styled building at night, with its myriad of lit windows and its luxurious lobby never ceased to leave you breathless. The view effectually took your gaze away from Peter’s tux, but not for long. The moment he stepped out of the limo, bathed in the golden light of the building, you felt transfixed all over again.

Peter discreetly tipped the driver and then turned to face you, clearly not as impressed with the Plaza Hotel as you were. He placed his warm hands on the swells of your hips and pulled you in front of him. His eyes appraised you, from your stiletto heels to your tight-fitted, off the shoulder evening dress, traveling up to your chunky Senegalese twists elegantly laid over your shoulder. He let out a low whistle and said, “If looks could kill…”

You straightened his collar and opened up the top button of his gingham dress shirt for both your sakes, then swiftly leaned in and planted a chaste kiss on his lips. “You’re not too shabby yourself, Mr. Parker.”

He wolfishly grinned as you quickly detached yourself from his borderline caressing hold. You knew he’d want more than a short kiss, but you couldn’t afford to get sidetracked tonight.

“Behave,” you chided.

“And if I don’t, future Mrs. Parker?” he prodded, a huskiness in his tone that sent a delicious shiver through you. His steps slowly brought him closer and closer to where you stood, and you weren’t sure if you’d have the will power to move away again. One proper kiss wouldn’t hurt…

A disembodied voice groaned in your ear. “Book a room!”

Peter chuckled unabashedly. “Sorry, Ned.” Though he tried to appear unaffected, Peter made an effort to clear his throat and tugged at his collar. “You ready on your end?”

“Yeah. Mic’s clear. Computer’s up and running. I’m all set. Can’t say the same for you two.”

You glance accusingly at Peter, who waggled his eyebrows at you. “We’re ready. Sorry about that. You know how Peter gets when I wear twists.”

Ned verbally shuddered. “Don’t remind me. I still refuse to sit on my couch, by the way, even after washing it four times! You owe me a new couch, dude. For my trauma.”

Peter half-heartedly grinned at the ground and said, “Dude, if we pull this off, I’ll buy you a whole new furniture set.” The one half of his grin faded away, replaced with a grim line of determination and sobriety. “Where’s he at?”

A few clicks rang through your ear-piece, then Ned replied, “Not far. About twenty minutes away, on Queens Boulevard in Elmhurst. Might be a while before he reaches the Plaza, though. There’s a jam on the bridge.”

“Cool, thanks. Keep us updated.” Peter didn’t want you to catch his expression, but you didn’t need to directly see it to realize he’s in business mode, cold and calculated, little to no warmth or playfulness left in his brown eyes.

Copying your move, he took your hand and held it until you both stared at each other. Briefly, with your eyes locked in place, he searched for any sliver of doubt, giving you one last option to ditch and save face while he executes the plan solo. You did not doubt that he and Ned could somehow pull it off without so much as a hiccup. Odds always work in Peter’s favor. For the past three years that you’ve known him, he’s never lost a gamble. Tonight, though, the gamble must include you, a new piece to his complicated game—a variable. If anything were to head south, the last thing Peter would want is to implicate you.

You understood the risks: the potential loss of your career, your squeaky clean record, and possibly your life. You wouldn’t be here, with him of all people, if you didn’t trust the plan. So you didn’t sway, letting your eyes confirm where you stood on the matter. I’m sticking with you. This exchange passed in absolute silence, ending with a small nod and a lingering kiss to your palm.

It’s always surprising to see Peter without a trace of humor or good-nature in his eyes. It took you a while to acclimate to his night and day demeanor and even longer to trust which emotions were real and which served a purpose. As he slides a cocky smile back onto his face, one that graces every part of his features, and holds out his arm for you, you knew. He’s in his element.

The game’s begun.

♢ ♤ ♡ ♧

Not even five seconds into the Terrace Room and your jaw hit the floor. Pepper sure knows how to out-do herself.

The room displayed the same historic French charm as the outside façade, but much more grand, decorated with multiple crystalline chandeliers, large stone semicircular archways, and classical art adorning the ceilings. Somehow, Pepper’s touch of cream-colored table cloths, bouquets of immaculate white peonies, golden napkins, and floating candle holders added the perfect ambiance for Tony’s celebration.

True to his fashion.

The Man of the Hour is currently giving his speech at the head table as the Maître D’ checks your reservation and prompts a server to escort you and Peter to your table. It’s located not too far away from Tony's, near a stone wall and a divider separating the other tables. You weren’t entirely familiar with the three people who were already seated, but they graciously offered quiet nods of welcome. Peter grabbed your chair for you and smoothly pushed you in before taking his seat next to you while you strained to catch the last bits of Tony’s speech.

“… and I can truly say that without you, my amazing colleagues, friends, and organizers present tonight, this win would not have been possible. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. And um, yeah. Thank you, all.” Tony lifted his champagne flute into the air with a flourish and a winning grin. Peter rolled his eyes. “Here’s to an awesome four years as New York’s new Governor.”

Everyone stood up to give him a round of applause, Peter’s claps more grudging than encouraging, but you were glad he put in some effort. When he looked your way, you flashed him a loving smile and mouthed Thank you. He rolled his eyes again, playfully this time, and quirked his mouth up in an amused grin.

Live music picked up as soon as Tony took his seat, soft jazz that blended well with the onslaught of muffled chatter and clinks of silverware against glass plates. Servers incrementally brought out the main course of roasted beef filet dressed in tomato tarragon sauce and a side of arugula salad. Peter stifled a chuckle as he heard your stomach growl when a server placed the plate of food in front of you.

As another server leaned in to pour you a glass of wine, you held out a hand and gave him a polite smile. “No, thank you. May I just have some water, please?”

The young man nodded, but Peter piped up before he could head off. “Got anything stronger back there? Bacardi? Whiskey? Rum?”

“We have Vodka, sir,” the server stuttered out.

“Excellent. I’ll take a whole bottle of that,” Peter grinned and pressed a couple of $100 bills into the man’s palm. Peter’s effect on people never got tiring to witness. He and the server appear to be around the same age, somewhere near the 25-year mark, yet Peter's vibe reduced the server to stutters. You’d say the tux assisted with his air of importance, but you’ve seen Peter have that same effect on businessmen while wearing a shirt that read “I lost an electron. Are you positive?” and plaid pajama bottoms.

The server vigorously nodded. “Right away, sir.”

“Don’t drink too much,” you cautioned in a tone low enough for only Peter’s ears. “You know how you get, and I don’t want Tony to have an excuse to place cuffs on you.”

Peter scoffed and mumbled around a bite of salad, “If I looked at him wrong, Tony would cuff me.”

“Now that’s a little presumptuous, ain’t it, Petey?”

You jumped up from your seat and wrapped Tony up in a hug he warmly returned. “Congratulations! I’m so proud of you, Governor Stark.”

Tony waved a hand, yet a big smile remained plastered on his face. “Ah, come on. It was bound to happen. Policy is the new name of the game, but I’ll sure miss that courtroom. You missy, on the other hand, deserve all the praise in the world. Best and youngest attorney in the whole state. Mentored by yours truly.” He trailed off, glancing in Peter’s general direction. “Though I question why you waste your talents on the likes of him.”

Now sitting ramrod straight in his chair, Peter slanted his eyes toward yours as you silently pleaded with him to be cordial. Once he brought his eyes back to Tony, he jerked up his chin in recognition. “Stark.”

Tony nodded at Peter. “Baby-faced Criminal.”

“Hey, now!” Pepper swooped in, pulling Tony back a little so she could see you better. “Just look at you! Always a beauty in everything you wear,” she gushed, then put on a stern face for Tony and Peter. “No roughhousing, tonight, boys. I mean it.”

“I was just making a valid critique on my star pupil's decision to become the Personal Attorney to a well-known arms dealer, is all,” Tony defended. He threw up his hands and drew up an innocent expression that might have worked had it not looked so derisive.

Pepper, pursing her lips, nodded sagely. “Right. Okay. So you were being an ass?”

“Pep!” Tony protested incredulously. Peter didn’t even try to hide his triumphant smirk.

You rolled your eyes in defeat. Oil and water can never mix, no matter how hard you try. No, Tony did not take the news of you becoming Peter’s PA well, and he’s made sure to rake you over the coals bout it every time the chance arises. You’ve been Peter’s attorney coming up on two years, and there’s not a sign from either of them that the grudge will ever be let go, not even for your sake, though they do try when threatened.

“I want you two to say something nice to each other and then let the rest of the night go on in peace. Go ahead,” Pepper ordered, indicating for Tony to go first.

Tony took in an excessive amount of air, then puffed it out. “Alright, Parker. Um… I like how you ostensibly don’t know the rules to a Black Tie Event.” He ended with a gesture to Peter’s lack of a bowtie. The poor thing lies in a mangled heap on the floor of the limousine.

Peter ticked up his eyebrow. “I like how the stick up your ass seems to reach new heights every time we speak, Stark.”

Pepper sighed and grabbed Tony’s arm. “Not exactly what I had in mind, but I’ll take what I can get. Come on, you. There are many more guests to greet.” She tugged him along, throwing you an apologetic smile over her slim shoulder as they walked away.

Almost out of earshot, you could hear Tony say, “He calls himself Deus, for Christ's sake!”

They left you two in heated silence. Peter refused to meet your glare, instead choosing to chug down the freshly set out champagne flute filled with Vodka. He immediately flushed as he poured himself another glass full.

“Peter—” you started.

“Don’t say it. I tried, alright?” He slumped against the back of his seat, then shot you a surly frown. “You didn’t even mention our engagement to him. Again.”

You looked down at your untouched food, suddenly not hungry.

Peter’s eyes narrowed. “Were you ever going to tell him?”

An anchor of guilt plummeted to the pit of your stomach, chasing away the desire to eat anything for the next few hours. Your answer came out sounding whittled and nearly swallowed by the music. “Pepper knows.”

“And that tells me all I need to know,” said Peter, pushing away from the table and taking the bottle of Vodka with him.

You tried to stamp down the rise of startled panic by clearing your throat and evenly asking, “Where are you going?” A high octave managed to slip in on the last word.

“To socialize. Play some cards. Place a few bets. Criminal stuff. You want in?” He didn’t wait for you to answer, moving further and further away as a wave of hot anger replaced your shame. “Oh, my bad. Sorry. I forgot you probably don’t want your mentor seeing you ruin your perfect image with, what was it? The likes of me?”

He swaggered off, not a mere hint of his hurt evident in his show of arrogance.

You gingerly sat back in your seat, careful to ignore the inquiring stares from those who caught most of the argument. Your nails came close to puncturing your palms, and if your jaw clamped any tighter, it would snap. An annoying, persistent inner voice chimed out, He’s right, you know. It was probably Ned.

You understood Peter enough to know that Tony not being clued in on your engagement wounded him. He told everyone in his life about you—told Aunt May the second you finally agreed to go on that first date with him, nearly shouted to all the rooftops in Queens “SHE SAID YES!” when he proposed three months ago. Yet here you are, dragging your heels on telling Tony, one of the most influential people in your life, that you’re marrying the love of your life. He wouldn’t understand. Or, rather, he would, and he’d abhor your decision.

You’re not sure you could ever explain to Tony how Peter is your favorite star in the night sky. A big, glowing ball of light you spend hours upon hours admiring and appreciating. One that just burns brighter than all the rest.

Your engagement ring sparkled at you, winking as you moved it side to side and marveled at the simple yet elegant details of the inlaid sapphires and diamonds. Peter told you he picked it out a week before the proposal, but you knew he carried it around in his pocket for months, biding his time, waiting for the perfect opportunity. When he asked, you couldn’t say yes fast enough. At that moment, Tony and his aversion to Peter never crossed your mind, but it’s lingered ever since.

Guilt returned as a salve for your anger.

“Trouble in paradise?” asked a woman sitting at your table, a slight accent in her voice. She appears to be young, almost too young to be at this function. The glimmer in her eye and the hitch in her smile denoted a wise person. Goddess braids sat on top of her head like a crown, and she’s wearing a simple black dress with pearl studs that nicely accentuates her dark brown skin.

You uncurled your hands and blew out a held-in breath, kindly smiling back. “Something like that.”

She held out a hand. “Shuri Udaku.”

That name came with an inkling of recognition, but you couldn’t quite place it. You shook hands with the young woman, giving her your name. When you momentarily looked at your clasped hands, your eyes dropped down to catch the jewelry on her wrist. They weren’t pearls like her earrings. They were onyx and emblazoned with ivory symbols on each bead: Kimoyo beads, a technological revolution currently sweeping the nation, manufactured only by one woman. The realization hit you hard. “Hold on a second. The Shuri Udaku? Founder of Vibranium Tech, Shuri Udaku?”

“The one and only,” she answered, her smile growing wider.

This confirmation launched you into a field of questions and acknowledgments. It turns out she knows of your work as New York’s youngest attorney, but you know a bit more about her line of work because Peter always voiced his interest in her growing business. On the surface, Vibranium Tech is like any other technology company, issuing out new and improved ways of communication and medical treatment. In the underground, there’s been rumors of her interest in creating weapons—technological weapons unlike any the arms dealing business has seen before.

You didn’t want to bring up that facet of knowledge just yet. The normal conversation worked wonders on you, loosening your tense muscles and clamped jaw, all of them singing sweet relief once your body naturally released the tension.

“So, did I hear Tony correctly when he said your partner is the Deus?”

You winced and found yourself searching the room for a glimpse of your fiancé. He’s commandeered a table in the back of the venue, showing off his black and gold deck of playing cards to a group of interested guests itching to play a hand.

“Yeah, that would be him.”

“That’s so badass,” Shuri mused, leaning in conspiratorially. “Is he like the mob bosses in TV shows and movies? Like does he have henchmen? Bad-temper? High-speed car chases with the police?”

You genuinely laughed. “Not exactly. Henchmen, kind of. Bad temper is rare. And he’d never shut up about having a high-speed car chase with the police. No, he’s a little more lowkey than all that.”

Long ago, back when you were innocent to the life Peter led, you assumed that that’s precisely what it entailed—an exhilarating life of high stakes, exorbitant amounts of money, strong-armed goons, and reckless shoot-outs. That might be the case for a few bosses, but not Peter. He’s too strategic, and the ins-and-outs of his trade are too complicated to pin on just one person.

“Well, I, um…” she stopped, considered her words. You unconsciously drew in closer. “I may have a business offer for him.”

You kept your smile on, but it felt more commercial-like than friendly. “What type of offer?”

Shuri gulped down a generous amount of her red wine, then darted her eyes side to side before speaking lowly. “Would he be interested in high powered weapons?”

You raised your eyebrows but kept up your cool front. “Depends. In exchange for what?”

“Protection.”

A voice in your ear announced, “He’s here.”

You ignored it, focusing on Shuri. “From who?”

Shuri peeked around again to make sure no one paid any attention to your private conversation, but her examination stopped at the entrance. “From him.”

You cautiously slid your eyes to the main entrance, heart hammering a thunderous rhythm in your chest.

Brock Rumlow. Peter's rival and leader of a group named the Scorpions. A peddler/enforcer for the East Coast's largest mob: Hydra. Of course he’d try to pressure Shuri for the weapons.

He didn’t come dressed according to the occasion, opting for his usual tight-fitted black Tee and gray tactical pants. The visible half of his tattoo, a scorpion’s tail curling out from the cuff of his shirt, stood out against his tan skin. Two other men stood behind him, wearing almost identical clothes to Rumlow and sporting the same scorpion tattoo on their right bicep, not exactly hiding that they carried concealed weapons. All the voices in the room hollowed out to stiff silence, and even the band took its cue to halt. Your eyes found Tony in time to see his jaw tick for the briefest moment, and then he slid right back into a restrained version of his good cheer.

“Hey, hey! This is still a party, people,” Tony called out, addressing the guests. “Eat, talk, have a good time.” He signaled to the band to pick up the music, then crossed the room to chat with Rumlow. You’ve never seen him so keyed up.

You touched Shuri’s hand comfortingly, not taking your eyes off Rumlow. “I’ll see what I can do.”

She deflated gratefully. “Thank you.”

You nodded, already out of your seat and rushing to the back of the room, stopping short once you arrived at Peter’s table. He’s thoroughly invested in this round of poker, glancing back and forth from his cards to the nervous twitches of the five men and one woman at the table. You recognized four of them: Judge Nicholas Fury, Lieutenant Steve Rogers, Manhattan’s Chief of Police Sam Wilson, and District Attorney Natasha Romanoff. Sweat is perspiring on Steve’s forehead, Sam’s leg can’t stop bouncing up and down, and even Natasha, a woman known for keeping her cool while in the line of fire, is chewing on her lower lip. Fury's not fazed. He just seems tapped out.

From what you can estimate, about six hundred dollars lies in the middle of the table.

Sam and Steve speak at the same time. “I’m out.”

The other men followed suit, muttering their defeat. Fury dropped his cards down on the table facedown.

Peter wickedly grinned, zeroing in on Natasha. “Got any last words?”

Natasha squinted her eyes at his taunt. “Kiss my ass, Parker.” She put her cards down face up, showing her hand, and quirked up an eyebrow that dared him to top that: three Queens and a pair of twos. Full House.

Peter laid down his hand. Four 3’s and an ace. Four of a Kind.

A chorus of fucks circled the group as Peter cleared the table of the crumpled bills. Two new bottles of opened Vodka sit on the table as well, along with seven shot-glasses. Steve’s glass remains untouched, but the others look like they’ve drained two shots each.

“Bucky’s gonna kill me for losing so much money,” Steve muttered, twirling around his wedding band.

Sam sadly shook his head. “Dammit, man. I thought we had him this time, too.” He eyed Peter with suspicion. “What you got, kid? X-Ray vision?”

Peter ran a hand through his hair, causing a few curls to escape its sleek style. “Nah, jus’ luck.”

“Yeah, well, here’s to hoping your luck runs out,” said Fury, raising his shot glass and slamming it back.

You inched closer to Peter’s side. He reeked of alcohol, and his eyes are glazed over. You wonder how he’s even capable of sitting up, let alone playing people out of their money.

“Peter,” you whispered, putting your hand on his shoulder. His muscles tensed, but he didn’t shake you off. “Rumlow’s here.”

The remaining people at the table began to disperse in a collective gripe of loss. Peter didn’t say anything, only jerked his head in acknowledgment.

Your hand itched to slap him back into reality. “Peter, baby, listen. I’m sorry. I’m so, so, so sorry. I should have told Tony about our engagement.” Desperation sapped into your words. “It was stupid and childish not to, and as soon as I get the chance, I’ll tell him. But for the love of God, this is not the time to—”

“Well, well, well! Look who we got here! Deus, in the flesh!” boomed a disturbingly baritone voice. Rumlow, shadowed by his two men, plopped down in one of the empty chairs, sitting right across from Peter. He glanced at Peter first, then languorously landed his gaze on you. “And who’s this pretty lady you got here?”

“My fiancée,” answered Peter monotonously. He said it as if the words synonymously meant: just some chick. A dull kind of ache slashed through your chest as you dropped your hand back down to your side and took two steps away from him.

Rumlow pretended to miss the interaction, appearing to be in deep thought, and then clapped his hands once. “Oh! The attorney. I don’t believe I ever formally introduced myself.” He offered his large hand to you, grinning with his whole teeth on display. “Name’s Brock Rumlow.”

You reluctantly let him take your outstretched hand. His skin is blazing hot, to the point where your hand nearly felt suffocated. He brought it to his lips for a small kiss that twisted your stomach in knots. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Rumlow.”

Rumlow winked. “Pleasure’s all mine, sweetheart. And call me Brock.”

“Fuck do you want, Rumlow?” Peter bit out, picking the cards up off the table and shuffling them.

“Ooh,” tsked Rumlow. He made sure to lay another grin on you just to irk Peter. “Come on, Parker. Can’t a guy just enjoy some company once in a while? It’s not like I’m doing anything wrong.” He watched Peter’s movements, the cards haphazardly sliding back and forth from one hand to the next. “Playing cards, huh? You up for a quick game?”

You butt in with a pressed laugh. “Actually, we were just leaving.” Drunk Peter is overly confident. If Rumlow found that out, you knew he’d take Peter for everything he’s worth.

“So soon?” Rumlow glanced down at his watch. “It’s not even ten yet. What’s the rush?”

Peter cut you off. “No rush. I’m staying. You play Draw Poker?”

“ ‘Course I play Draw Poker, but that seems too simple for you, Parker. Don’t you wanna make it hard for me? A little Texas Hold ’em?”

“Draw Poker,” said Peter, splitting the deck against the table and flexing the cards enough to have them rapidly collapse into place. “Take it or leave it.”

A dark, mischievous smile brewed on Rumlow’s face as he watched Peter fumble with the deck and, at some point, entirely losing his grip. You discreetly watched him size up his opponent, dismayed to find that he likes the assessment. Hair is stubbornly falling into Peter’s eyes, eyes that anyone a mile away could point out are bleary and bloodshot. The flush from earlier deepened on his neck and flashed scarlet across his face—an easy target for a skilled player.

“Deal me in.”

The first game played out exactly as you feared it would. Rumlow and Peter agreed on a $100 ante to get the ball rolling, both pulling out a single bill from their pocket and placing it in the middle of the table, then they settled for a pot-limit. Though Peter’s shuffling skills lacked his usual finesse, he expertly dealt each of them a hand of five cards.

You leaned against the back wall with your arms crossed over your chest and watched the game unfold. Rumlow processes his hands at the speed of a bullet, snapping his eyes to his cards once he’s drawn, and immediately discards the ones he doesn’t like when it’s his turn. Other than the minutest crinkle in the corner of his left eye, you couldn’t tell when he felt confident or when he bluffed. He gave nothing away, not even an involuntary scratch to his five o’clock shadow. He was so in the zone he began to partake in the Vodka bottle close to his side of the table, swigging straight from the mouth.

On the other hand, Peter moved as if a millisecond was the equivalent length of ten years, scanning his cards more than several times with pursed lips, looking up at Rumlow, scanning his cards again, once, twice, three times, then reluctantly discarding some. He frequently shoves a hand through his hair to keep it out of his eyesight, but the same unruly strands find their way back to impede his vision. He scratches the shell of his ear when he’s about to draw, and Rumlow’s picked up the tell.

Rumlow never even had to do more than call. The confident drunk in Peter always raised.

The pot increased to about $1400 before Peter folded his hand.

As Rumlow collected his winnings, he suggestively lifted his eyebrows at Peter. “Care for round 2?”

Confident drunk Peter never backs down, even when he’s the dumbass who can’t remember that he’s brought fists to a gunfight.

You step back up to the table and put a restrictive hand on Peter’s wrist to keep him from picking up the cards. “Enough, Peter. You’re done. Let’s go home.”

“No, I’m not done,” he said, snatching his arm away from your touch. “Go talk to Tony or somethin’. I’ve got this.”

Rumlow caught your bewildered stare and shrugged his broad shoulders, a gesture that didn’t match his cocky smile. He has Peter right where he wants him, and there’s nothing you can do to stop him because Peter is a willing participant running on alcohol and no critical judgment.

You should have left right then and there, but your feet stayed rooted to the floor. You couldn’t leave Peter like this. Sighing, you pulled up a chair to the table and sat beside Peter.

“Don’t worry. I’ll go easy on him,” said Rumlow, putting on a smile too sardonic to be comforting. Too artificial to be genuine.

His lie didn’t surprise you. The hole Peter dug himself did.

The second round went similarly to the first. Flash decisions from Rumlow and molasses-like contemplation from Peter. This time, though, the ante came up to $200. As far as you knew, Peter is only carrying about $2500 in his pockets.

By the time the fourth round started, Peter’s Rolex lies on the table. The ante is up to $1000. Somehow the pot-limit became no-limit.

By the fifth round, Peter made paperless bets. Ante is $10,000. Rumlow knew Peter’s pockets went deep, and he’d keep at it until he struck gold.

Nothing you said stopped him. Peter hadn’t won a single hand. He’s desperate for at least one good hand; he’s got something to prove.

Rumlow kept drinking with each win.

By the seventh round, a crowd is around the table, watching in horrified interest as Peter raises the bet to one million dollars. The most significant amount you’ve ever seen him bet. So far, he’s held this hand for three draws.

Peter’s hair lost all semblance of its previous style, hanging over his forehead in disarray. He’s hunched over in his chair, his jacket’s off, and he’s rolled up his dress shirt’s sleeves to his elbows. His group’s signature tattoo stands out stark against his inner wrist: a roughly sketched spider.

Rumlow, eyes now as bloodshot as Peter’s and face just as flushed under his tan skin, asks, “Think you got something, Parker?”

“Do you?” Peter countered.

“I just might.” Rumlow ran a finger against his bottom lip, then smiled at his hand. “Why don’t you say we make this last Showdown a little more interesting, eh?”

A terrible queasiness wrapped around your gut.

Peter listened intently, his silence Rumlow’s indication to continue.

“$10 million. And the best trading routes. Including foreign connections. I want everything you got.”

You turned to Peter, placing your hand on top of his until he finally looked at you. Your eyes begged him to listen to you for once tonight. “Please don’t do this.”

His reply sounded tortured. “But I can. I have to.”

“Is winning really worth losing everything?” you asked, your voice cracking.

Rumlow chuckled ominously. “Oh, that’s not everything, sweetheart. We both know what’s left.” He gave you a meaningful stare.

Your eyes widened in disgust.

Peter snapped his gaze to Rumlow. “She’s got nothing to do with this.”

“No, but I want her. Imagine having New York’s best attorney in my arsenal. How many charges has she saved your sorry ass from, Parker? Five? All felonies, right? You lucky son of a bitch.” Rumlow’s smile is sinister. “Not that lucky tonight, huh?”

Peter spoke through gritted teeth. “Back off, Rumlow.”

“To have Deus wrapped around her finger, she must be pretty damn good. Is she, Parker?” goaded Rumlow, ignoring Peter’s warning. “Is she any good?”

Instinct controlled your hands as they seized Peter’s cards before he launched himself over the table and landed an ear-splitting blow to Rumlow’s jaw. Rumlow must’ve known the punch was coming. Still, he hadn’t expected the impact to be that forceful because his eyes blinked in astonishment. The two men behind Rumlow didn’t react fast enough, missing Peter as he stood above Rumlow, grabbed the handgun hidden in the waist of his pants and pressed the muzzle deep into Rumlow’s temple, finger on the trigger.

Rumlow shifted his eyes up to Peter. “Did I hit a nerve?”

Peter’s voice is lethally calm. “Say one more goddamn word about her and you’re dead.”

“Put that gun down, Parker!”

Tony. Shit.

Peter squared his jaw, never taking his eyes off of Rumlow. About six off-duty policemen and the venue’s guards have their weapons trained on Peter.

“I said put the gun down! Now!” Tony had pushed his way through the crowd, Sam and Steve right behind him. You didn’t notice until now how quiet the room became, everyone holding in a collective breath.

“Put it down, son,” Steve gently ordered. He spied Rumlow’s men, their hands tightened on their guns, and shook his head. “Don’t even think about it.”

Peter didn’t move a muscle. His chest rapidly rises and falls with each breath.

Sam, holding a pair of cuffs in his hand, tried getting through to him. “It’s over. Drop the gun, kid.”

A slow grin spread across Rumlow’s face.

“Peter,” you spoke softly.

His red-rimmed eyes met yours.

“Everything’s gonna be alright. Just put the gun down, okay? Please.”

Two heartbeats passed before his grip on the gun slackened, and he begrudgingly lowered his arm.

Steve and Sam seized on the opportunity. Steve disarmed Peter while Sam restrained Peter’s arms behind his back and tightened the cuffs around his wrists.

Rumlow massaged his injured jaw. “Guess that means I win, Parker.”

Sam yanked Peter back before he could charge at Rumlow. When Peter looked your way, he saw you still held his cards. “I’m still in play.”

“Wait,” you protested. Sam began to guide Peter up to the entrance. “Peter, I can’t—”

He nodded his head furiously, talking over his shoulder as Sam lead him away. “Yes, you can. You know you can, baby. Play the hand.”

You stared helplessly at Peter’s retreating form. It was all on you.

Rumlow watched, unperturbed; his cards still held tight in the hand that wasn’t nursing his jaw.

Slowly, you lowered yourself down into Peter’s chair, sitting directly across from Rumlow’s smirking face. Tony stared at you incredulously. It’s the first time you’ve ever seen him rendered speechless. The room’s chatter never recovered, either. All eyes stay glued towards the standoff.

The game is in your hands. Exactly as planned.

[comm-caribou]

2016 vs. Now:

Just me looking at my old pieces and comparing my OG babies to their official versions. So happy with their growth, especially Juliette’s because… *face palms*

————

Juliette: Couldn’t even fire a gun! Was just a naive idiot who got lucky enough that Hardwire picked her up off the streets after her father died. I don’t even know how she was okayed with being a General because she was so dumb. Was a twenty year old Mandalorian daughter, but knew absolutely nothing of her culture or how to fight. I can’t find it, but I remember distinctly I wrote something about her mother being a Jedi and Juliette was also force sensitive, but some reason nobody realizes this?!?! She literally got a whole character rewrite, the only thing that’s the same is her name and Fang being her boyfriend.

Hardwire: Cold, mean, and had a crush on Juliette. He was very jealous of anyone who spoke to her, that when Fang started going out with her Hardwire shunned him and treated him like dirt. Now Hardwire is awkward, kind of silly mixed with serious, a sweetie pie who just wants to be included in the fun, is under the ace umbrella, and views Juliette as his closet friend.

Cooper: Was nice, and just wanted to help everyone. Now he’s more reserved and snappy with adults, but has all patients in the universe for children. He’s protective and can come off as a know-it-all now too.

Keks: Nothing has changed. He’s still a trooper who loves kids and was named for eating burnt cookies a little girl made. Only thing added was his facial tattoo.

Tracks: Hasn’t changed either. Still a 6’5” pilot with silver hair, couldn’t talk due to an accident, and minds his own business.

Mirage: He use to be a bully. If he didn’t like you, he’d give you the silent treatment and convince everyone to turn their back on his victim. Super quick to anger and would get in fist fights. Has since been revamped into a protective brother who has some jealous outbursts, but it’s comes from his own insecurities of thinking he’s not a good ARC trooper. More of a follower than a leader, but knows when to step up. Also now made him the key to their survival of Order 66.

Boomerang: Still a goofball and jokester, who got his name for always coming back for his brothers.

Fang: Absolutely nothing has changed, only his bottom canines and his personal interests have been added. Still a sweet trooper who gets mixed up in his head from all the trauma he endured, including losing his arm and both squads. I did edit his hair to be more like Tem instead of the CW model, but he still has his loose strand in front that never stays in place even when his brothers try to use any hair products on him.

Coyote: Kept the blue eyes, added more drive to his character. He use to just be there as a crutch for Fang, someone for Fang to lean on and count on to always be there for him until Coyote is promoted. Now, he’s everyone’s voice of reason and comforting presence, but he’s the one who’s learning to stand on his own.

[adenei]

Hello! You are a wonderful writer and I love reading your works! Could you do something where Harry realizes the extent of trauma Tom Riddle inflicted on Ginny? Maybe after the war is over, and Ginny and Harry have moved in together, and then Harry comes to his senses?

Hi anon! Thank you so much! Sorry it’s taken so long to get this one to you. I hope you enjoy!

**********

Graduation Gift

It was a seemingly normal day spent out and about in Diagon Alley. The weather was seasonably warm, and Ginny was looking forward to a day out with Harry. She could count the number of times she’d been to the magical shopping district on one hand since turning eleven.

Visiting Diagon Alley wasn’t exactly one of her favorite activities to do, but Harry seemed excited about taking her out, so she’d obliged without pause. Ginny was happy to see that many of the businesses were able to rebuild. The streets were crowded with shoppers bustling along. Children were squealing excitedly at enticing window displays, and some, including Wheeze’s, looked completely full to the brim with people. 

Harry was on a mission, hitting each stop on his list with minimal dawdling in between. This was most likely to avoid the crowds and people noticing The Chosen One was amongst them. Ginny didn’t mind, since she was looking forward to a more relaxing afternoon at Grimmauld Place with her boyfriend. 

Their last stop was Quality Quidditch Supplies. He’d lured her there under false pretenses, claiming to need a new broom kit. But upon entering the shop, Harry insisted on looking at brooms for her upcoming training season. It was no surprise that Ginny had signed a contract with the Holyhead Harpies—who had scouted her talent at the first match of the season last year—but she was not expecting her boyfriend to insist on buying her a brand new broom.

“Absolutely not!” Ginny admonished.

“Come on, Gin, please? It’s your graduation present,” Harry reasoned.

Ginny shook her head. “It’s too much.”

Harry crossed his arms. “So, you’re just going to join a professional quidditch team with your Comet and expect to keep up in drills and matches?”

“As soon as I’ve earned enough, I’ll buy myself a new broom.”

Harry simply stared at her, willing her to process her words, which admittedly, did sound ridiculous. “I was going to pick one and buy it without consulting you, but what would the fun be in that? If you really want, you can pay me back, but that defeats the purpose of a gift.”

Ginny was used to being self-sufficient when it came to boyfriends. It was still strange sometimes for her to let Harry in, knowing she didn’t have to do everything independently anymore. After an extensive internal struggle, she’d relented. A half hour later, they exited the shop with the newest Firebolt model.

“This is still way too much,” Ginny griped, unwilling to admit that deep down it felt nice to be spoiled by her boyfriend.

“Well, like I said, you can always pay me back,” Harry said. He leaned in to add, “and it doesn’t have to be in galleons.”

Ginny couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her lips as they headed back to the Apparition spot. She almost didn’t notice when they’d passed by Flourish and Blotts. It was ridiculous really, that a bookshop of all places could make her feel this uncomfortable, but nonetheless a prickle of unease spread through her body. Flashes of white-blond hair and a secondhand cauldron flashed through her mind. It was only now that Ginny realized she hadn’t stepped foot in the popular bookstore since her first year.

“Everything alright?” Harry’s voice brought her back to the present.

“What? Oh, yeah. I’m fine!” 

Harry glanced back at the shop before casting a wary look towards her. Thankfully, he didn’t press further, and Ginny shoved the thought of the bookstore further from her mind. 

Upon returning to Grimmauld Place, Ginny brought her new broom up to Harry’s room for safekeeping with the promise that they could go to the Burrow later to test it out. When she returned to the sitting room, she noticed a small parcel wrapped in vibrant red and gold paper.

“I thought the broom was my gift.” A hint of accusation escaping her voice.

“It is! This isn’t nearly as extravagant, I promise. Go on and open it.”

She could tell he was nervous, and she wasn’t sure why. She hadn’t seen him like this since before they started dating in her fifth year. Or maybe the first time they all had dinner as a family after her parents found out they were officially together.

As Ginny carefully unwrapped the vibrant paper, she heard Harry muttering under his breath. 

“I hope you like it. Was Luna’s idea really, but it’s helped me a lot this year. Made me feel like I wasn’t bothering you by sending you too many letters this past year, and I could put all the thoughts of training and missions down without having to relive them as much in my head.”

She slid the paper off to reveal two small books. Both had a dark brown leather cover, and Ginny felt herself go into a cold sweat. For Harry’s sake, she opened the top one, and saw his handwriting on the inside. An introductory letter written to her, no doubt as an explanation of his recent rambling.

She tried to be strong for him. Ginny knew deep down it was such a romantic gesture, and one she honestly would have never expected from Harry. He’d never give her a cursed diary. She gave him a weak smile even as she was quaking with terror on the inside. Her hands moved of their own accord, shifting the books around so the second book was now on top. Against her better judgement, Ginny opened the cover to be greeted by a blank page of parchment.

Suddenly, as if the book became scalding hot, Ginny tossed it out of her hands with a yelp. She drew her legs in, hugging them tightly to her chest as she rocked back and forth on the sofa.

“Ginny!” Harry was by her side in an instant. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

Concern etched on his face. He wrapped his arms around her. She focused on the pressure of his touch as she took deep breaths in and out to help calm herself.

“It’s the journal, isn’t it?” the soft tenor of Harry’s voice grounded her, even as he spoke the truths she’d tried to bury deep inside and mend with avoidance. “I’m sorry, Gin. I didn’t know. I wasn’t thinking. I’ll get rid of it.”

Slowly, Ginny opened her eyes, allowing herself to return to her surroundings. Naturally, she was drawn to the object of her disdain. It was silly to think that just because the war was over and her schooling complete that her first year could officially stay in the past. No, avoidance wasn’t going to work anymore. She had to face her demons, and was relieved to know that Harry hadn’t shied away from her reaction.

“No. I want to keep it,” she told him. “It’s time I work through it all. I shouldn’t be afraid of a journal anymore.”

“It’s understandable, though. You lived with a Horcrux. It possessed you.”

Ginny shuddered. “Don’t remind me.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Ginny looked up at Harry. It was funny how much a person could grow. Harry Potter, the boy who always interalized his emotions, asking her if she wanted to talk about hers. A slight smile grazed the corners of her mouth.

“I do, but not right now. I think I’d rather go have a fly on that new broom and clear my head.”

“Gin—”

“I promise we’ll talk, Harry. I just have a lot I want to sort through first.”

Harry looked as though he was about to argue, but luckily he relented. “Okay. Your mum will probably be excited for the surprise visit. Go get your broom.”

“Thank you.” Ginny untangled her limbs before pulling Harry into a tight hug and planting a kiss on his lips.

It was finally time to heal.