#Watch everything I just said be uber wrong

[barcaatthemoon]

party girl || barcelona x reader ||

a night out at the club takes an interesting turn for you.

minors dni, 18+, smut warning.

a huge thank you to everybody who has followed me. 1500 is a lot for a blog i never really thought anyone would pay attention to.

the club was a mess of sweaty bodies grinding against each other just barely to the beat. it was like you were in a bubble with every single person on the dance floor. within your little bubble, life was great. you had a sense of euphoria as the strong hands that had been holding your hips for the past three songs moved up along your sides.

it was always risky to let strangers touch you like this, but you knew that you were in a somewhat safe space. the club had good security, and nearly every patron you had come across was a woman. you felt lips press against your neck and your head fell back against a slender shoulder. your eyes were closed as you turned around, perfectly catching this woman's lips.

you felt your knees grow a bit weak as this woman deepened the kiss. just before your knees did buckle, you felt very familiar hands on your waist. lucy tugged your head back a bit as your eyes opened to see ingrid standing in front of you. immediately, your heart began to race with panic as you started to look around for mapi.

"don't get scared now," lucy teased. you turned around to glare at her, but you stopped when you caught sight of mapi and ona behind her.

"come back with us," ona told you. she reached out and took your hands in hers. you were a bit too shocked to argue as ona led you out of the club. it wasn't until you were in the back of an uber heading towards what you assumed was ona's apartment that you realized what you had done.

"mapi's going to kill me," you groaned helplessly. lucy rolled her eyes as she placed her hand on the back of your neck. "i'm a dead woman, i kissed ingrid."

"ingrid kissed you, first of all. second, she's not going to kill you, trust me. we wouldn't be bringing you over if we thought she'd kill you," lucy promised. you let out a small whimper, and lucy pecked your lips before you could start pouting. "lucy!"

"it's fine," lucy huffed. you were torn between arguing with lucy and apologizing to ona. ona seemed to understand what was going through your mind, and before you could do either, she kissed you. you had never kissed ona before, and you didn't think that you'd ever kiss anyone like that again. you had expected her to be softer, but instead, ona kissed you roughly. your lips were definitely bruised, and you were surprised that she didn't draw blood when she nipped at your lips. "come on, we're here."

"what am i here for, exactly?" you asked as lucy pulled you out of the car.

"we're gonna fuck you, obviously," lucy said. your hands began to sweat a bit as they brought you into the building. everything was moving quickly, but you weren't sure that you would have even considered going home alone if you had the chance to. "you still like this sort of thing, don't you?"

"lucy," you hissed as you swatted at her to be quiet. the blush on your cheeks told lucy everything that she needed to know.

"come on, we wouldn't want to keep our guests waiting." this time, you were surprised by ona being the one to push you forward. you wondered what lucy had told her about you from your days as a lioness. you weren't overly proud of all the things you had done or let people do to you, but there had never been a dull night for you at camp before.

mapi and ingrid stood in the hallway waiting for the three of you. it felt wrong to watch as ingrid greeted ona with a kiss. you found yourself turning away, but also desperately trying to avoid mapi's gaze. you couldn't shake the feeling that she was somehow upset with you for kissing ingrid despite both of them being here waiting for you.

"hola chica." mapi greeted you the same way that she did at practice when you tried to keep to yourself. it was hard, but you had finally shaken the "party girl" persona that you had been dubbed with at the beginning of your career. "no kisses for me? i am sure that everybody else got one."

"she's always a little shy at first," lucy said as she unlocked the door. mapi stuck by your side as the group made their way inside. ingrid didn't seem to mind at all, far too preoccupied with ona. "if you don't want to do this, let me know, okay? i know that i sprung this on you, but it's always a little spontaneous isn't it?"

"i'm fine, i promise," you said quietly. lucy nodded and pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth. she walked off, leaving you alone with mapi on the couch. this time, you couldn't ignore the older spanish defender. "d-did you know that ingrid was going to kiss me?"

"no, but i hoped that she would. one of us had to make a move to get this started, right?" mapi asked. it was stupid, but you felt embarrassed as you nodded. you had never made the first move with anybody before, always the one sought after by teammates and strangers alike. although, you'd never do something like this with a group of people that you didn't trust to take care of you. lucy had hooked up with you both by herself and with others, so she knew all of your rules by now. "can i tell you a secret?"

"sure." you glanced over at mapi, who leaned in close to whisper in your ear.

"ingrid made most of our first moves. other than the ring, that is. i did the big one, and that's what counts," mapi told you. you weren't surprised, having noticed how mapi and ingrid were with each other when nobody else was looking. "i can make this move with you, don't worry."

mapi gently cupped your face in her hands. her thumbs rubbed along your cheekbones as she leaned in. mapi moved much slower than you had expected, but you didn't mind it. the build up made the kiss even better, and you found yourself melting back into the couch as mapi covered her body with yours. her tongue swiped past your lips, giving you a taste of the mint from her drink that expertly masked the bit of alcohol.

"you're being greedy." ona wedged herself behind you. mapi broke the kiss to say something back to ona, who wasn't listening in the slightest. ona cared much more about pawing at your clothes as she kissed you. once again, you could feel your lips begin to bruise from the roughness of ona's mouth against yours. you felt your stomach tighten as you thought about how rough she'd be with you in bed.

"let's go somewhere with more room," lucy suggested. you were led out of the living room with mapi and ona both competing for your attention. lucy and ingrid didn't seem surprised in the slightest by any of this. you could see lucy's hands on ingrid's body as they slid beneath ingrid's top. that was the first article of clothing successfully removed.

you tried to lean towards where ingrid and lucy were, but it was no use. mapi finally managed to get the top of your dress undone, causing it to fall in a pool at your ankles. you didn't even have a chance to step out of it before you were being pulled onto mapi's lap on the bed. ona followed up closely, placing herself in between everything happening.

out of the corner of your eye, you could see lucy splitting her attention between ona and ingrid. you couldn't do much aside from watch as clothing disappeared at breakneck speed while mapi hooked her legs around yours to keep them open.

"lucia has told us a lot about you, but i want to know what you like," mapi said. she ran her fingers through your hair, smirking when your body went lax against hers. "talk to me, chica. what do you want me to do to you?"

"i want you to fuck me so good that your name is the only one i can think to scream," you told her. mapi took it for what it was, an open challenge. "i want you to split me wide fucking open."

"careful what you wish for (y/n)," lucy warned. you shot her a glare before turning your attention back to mapi. the spanish defender captured your lips in another kiss as her hand moved down your body to rest in between your legs. she wasn't doing much other than just letting her hand cup your pussy, but you were still moving your hips to seek out more contact. "she'll break you if you tell her to."

"mapi wouldn't hurt me unless i really wanted it, isn't that right?" your tone was dripping with false innocence and sweetness. mapi bit her lip as she let her hand lay flat against you. you continued to grind your hips, now getting yourself off by rubbing against her fingers. you let out a soft moan, one that prompted mapi to kiss you a little more.

those kisses were interrupted by ona, who pulled your face away from mapi's. you could see ingrid behind her, thrusting harshly, and lucy's body beneath the both of them being the only thing keeping ona from slamming into you. the kiss with her was messy and desperate, like ona had been craving her moment with you all night.

mapi slowly began to pull more of your attention away from everything else in the room. she had two fingers plunging deep inside of you, keeping a steady rhythm as she began to fuck you. next to you, ingrid and lucy were fucking ona harshly, and mapi noticed that your eyes continuously drifted over towards them.

"do you like it rough? i can fuck you like that. i'll bend you over so you can get a better look too," mapi offered. "would you like that? just say the word and it's all yours."

"mapi please, i want it so bad," you told her. you were surprised how quickly you were reduced to whining. lucy had always liked to joke that you were easy to break, that it was why you were so fun to pass around for a night. you could spend an hour getting fucked relentlessly and once you had the energy to would be asking for it all over again.

"bring her over here," ingrid said. mapi moved you over ona and lucy's bodies. ingrid helped to position you once you were close enough. her touch was less gentle now than it had been earlier in the night. she was being less careful with you, like she was no longer afraid of scaring you away. "do you want to taste ona?"

"yes, please." ingrid surprised you by pulling out of ona and guiding your mouth to the tip of her strap. the subtle smirk on her face grew as she watched you swallow up every inch of her strap that she offered to you. mapi eased into you as ingrid pulled out and pushed your face down towards ona's cunt.

you could hear lucy fucking into ona's ass from beneath her as ingrid guided each stroke of your tongue. occasionally, she'd pull your head away from ona to have you suck on her strap or give you a close up as she fucked ona. it was a lot, and the way that mapi roughly thrust in and out of you had your legs shaking quicker than anybody else had in a long time.

mapi kept thrusting into you even after your body had stilled. her pace was relentless, and you could only get her to stop by squirming away. you laid back against the pillows for a moment as you watched the scene in front of you. you got the sense that they had definitely done this together without you. mapi's strap found a home in ona's mouth, guided by lucy's gentle praises and the strong grip of her hand in ona's hair.

their positioning switched, and you found yourself invited onto lucy's face. lucy's tongue was comfortable and familiar, something that you had come to know well. lucy moved the same way that she always did with you, holding your thighs to keep you on her face until she was finished. you had more than enough freedom to wiggle around and position yourself more comfortably on lucy's face. she knew how important control over your own pleasure was for you sometimes, often having her own reservations about giving that sort of thing up, especially in front of a group.

"you look so good on lucy's face." ona's words were just barely strung together as ingrid began to fuck her once again. mapi was beneath ingrid, eating her out like how lucy was eating you out. you wondered if you were in what would normally be ona's spot, and if you were, the small spanish woman didn't seem to mind one bit.

she relished in the harsh thrusts of ingrid's strap moving in and out of her. you wondered what it would have felt like to be in her position, but you were content where you were. lucy's tongue brought you right up to your peak before easing you away from it only to work you up again and again. you weren't to the point of begging. you had never been able to hold out well, but lucy knew how to edge you for explosive orgasms.

you drenched her face as you squirmed and wriggled your hips wildly. ona was leaned over to lick away the cum you had left on lucy's face. you couldn't believe what you were seeing, and if your body didn't feel so spent, you would have re-joined them. lucy seemed to understand your exhaustion as she pulled you away from the bed to the bathroom.

the shower was spacious with a little ledge for you to rest on. lucy took care in helping you clean up, and the two of you soon found yourselves joined by ona, who seemed to be in a similar state to you. lucy took care of both of you with equal amounts of effort. the three of you were nearly finished when ingrid and mapi came into the bathroom. ona wrapped you up in a robe and led you into a different bedroom than the one you had just been in.

"do you want to stay?" ona asked you. you weren't used to having a space to stay. someone was always there with you, usually a roommate or close friend. someone who never judged you or would raise too many questions in the morning. everybody knew what you got up to, but none of them really ever put much thought into whether or not you spent the rest of your night alone.

"the question is do you want to sleep in here with us or do you want to go back to mapi and ingrid's room? it'll be cooler in here and mapi sleeps naked," lucy said as she walked into the room. there was an extra pep in her step, the one you recognized as her pride from making you and ona cum. she was feeling herself, and the confidence was extremely sexy.

"i don't think that-," ona started, only to be cut off by both you and lucy speaking in unison.

"it's different," the two of you said. ona rolled her eyes as she put a sleep shirt on and nothing else. you found yourself in a pair of lucy's boxers and one of your old england shirts that had mysteriously gone missing years ago. lucy got dressed in her own pajamas before she got in bed with the two of you, placing herself in the middle. the three of you fell asleep together, both you and ona laying there comfortably with one of lucy's arms around your shoulders each.

[emmy19-05]

JUST LIKE THAT: PART 2

Jenni Hermoso x Female Reader

GO TO PART 1 FIRST THIS IS NOT A STANDALONE! 

Read Just Like That: Part 1 first

Top: Jenni Bottom: Reader

SMUT 18+

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

Warning!! Contains: Cunnilingus, Strap, Fingering, Orgasm denial, Dirty talk, Slight arguing (barely any; only one scene), possessiveness

I made Jenni still at Barcelona is this part because I don’t know much about Tigres UANL (her current club) lol

This is a little shorter than the other parts, but eh it's ok :) 

Word Count: 1.8k

You look at your phone and the caller id says “Jenni” you feel your whole body shiver as you wipe your tears to go to pick up the phone, she must’ve put her number in your phone because you don’t remember having her phone number. You pick up the phone and you hear deep breathing on the other line

“Hola, princesa” Jenni breaths out

“Jenni,” You huff

“Baby, are you ok? Seems like you were crying.” you can practically hear her frowning 

“No I wasn’t” You say, lying.

“Sweetheart, I can hear it in your voice, what’s wrong?” Jenni says

“You left, and it was obviously a game to you, what the fuck Jenni, you couldn’t even say goodbye? Do I mean that little to you? I know we don’t necessarily like each other, but you don’t have to leave me feeling like a cheap hookup.” You say

“Baby-”

“Jenni just don’t, was it a bet or something? Was it ‘let’s see who can get into y/n’s pants first?’” You say feeling lost.

“y/n, no it was nothing like that, and let me start by saying when you said ‘I know we don’t necessarily like each other’ don’t lie I know you feel for me like I do for you and you have for a long time, like I. it’s far more than ‘like’. Baby, I had a flight at 8am and left the room at 5am,I didn't want to wake you.”

You immediately feel in the wrong, Jenni didn’t want to wake you up, it was a huge misunderstanding, she still cares about you.

Months later…

You and Jenni have been talking pretty much everyday, whether it’s text, call, facetime, etc. Jenni doesn’t know this but you’ve been asked to join Barcelona and you are signing the contract, you finally get to be with her. It is finally the Olympics and you are about to board the plane to fly to Paris. Listening to Casual by Chappell Roan, you board the plane by yourself since England didn’t make it to the Olympics, but you are there to support Jenni, she doesn’t know you’re going to surprise her, you plan to watch her play against Japan, but sitting high in the stands, so she won’t see you and then showing up at her hotel room after the game. 

As you go to the game you get recognized a few times since you are a forward for England, but you try to sign things discreetly, so it avoids getting out that you are there on social media that you are in Paris. you don’t want Jenni to know you’re there before you surprise her.

Spain wins 2-1. You are so happy. You feel so excited to go back to the hotel to surprise Jenni. You wait about 2 hours before heading to Jenni’s hotel, because you figure she will need to greet fans, stay around for post-game interviews, etc. You go to your hotel to take a shower and to put on something that is more comfortable , avoiding Jenni’s texts just in case she asks you what you’re doing, you don’t want to lie to her so you just ignore the few text messages she sent before and after the game. You walk around for another 20 or so minutes and take an Uber to where the Spain team was staying, you know where they’re staying thanks to Alexia. She was sad when you told her about you and Jenni, but she is now a great friend and is dating someone else, and they are in a happy relationship. As you walk up to the hotel you begin to feel nervous, you and Jenni aren’t dating, yet. You are hoping if everything goes how it’s supposed to you and Jenni are going to be girlfriends by the end of the night. You also hope to tell her when the time is right that you are moving to Spain to join Barcelona;

You take the elevator to the 8th floor where Jenni is supposed to be staying in room 819. As you walk to her room you hear talking, you wonder who’s in the room with Jenni. Alexia told you Jenni was staying alone in her room for the games. You only hear Jenni talking, but who is she talking to? You put your ear up to the door and try to listen to what Jenni is saying.

“Yes, I love her, but I don’t know if she feels the same, yes, ok I know” Jenni says

You realize she’s probably on the phone with someone, hoping she’s talking about you.

“I thought she felt the same, but she’s been leaving me on ‘seen’ for the past few days.” Jenni says

You automatically feel like shit thinking that Jenni’s been sad because you haven’t been talking to her, you just didn’t want to ruin the surprise. You feel bad for spying on her so you back away from the door and decide to come back in a few minutes hoping Jenni is off the phone when you get back. You feel happy that she says she loves you, because you feel the same and have for a long time, but you wanted to tell her in person and not over text. You go to the local flower shop just a 3 minute walk from the hotel just because you don’t want to show up empty handed. It’s been about 25 minutes since you left the hotel. And you figure whoever Jenni was talking to, the conversation was probably over. You head back to the hotel and ride up the elevator to floor 8. You walk down the hall to room 819. You listen and don’t hear Jenni talking to anyone, so you decide to knock. You hear some shuffling around and a click and the door flies open. Jenni is looking at her phone not realizing it’s you then you clear your throat and say

“Jenni” 

She immediately looks up and gives you the biggest smile you've ever seen her have.

“y/n, what are you doing here, baby? I’ve been trying to text and call you for the past few days, I thought I did something wrong.” Jenni says as she pulls you into the hotel room and closes and locks the door. 

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to ruin the surprise. I feel terrible for ignoring you…” You say as Jenni kisses your neck sweetly.

“Cariño, baby, I missed you so much,” Jenni says into your ear. You shiver because you missed this so much. You missed her so much

“I missed you too, I love-” You begin to say but she shuts you up by putting her lips on yours. She kisses you like you’re the only thing that matters. You begin to make out. As her tongue slips into your mouth you moan.

“Keep making those noises and you’ll be on the bed within the next 30 seconds.” Jenni says

You smile as she fucks her toungue into your mouth.

“Do you want my mouth, the strap or my fingers baby?” Jenni whispers into your ear

“All of the above?” You smile as she chuckles at your words.

She holds your hand and walks you over to the hotel’s bed.

“Lay down, sweetheart.” Jenni says.

You smile at her and lay down

Jenni slowly starts to take off your clothes slowly and when you’re finally undressed, Jenni starts to take off her clothes. When you’re finally both naked, Jenni grabs the strap and puts it on. While she’s putting it on you stare at her and realize how beautiful she is. How you wish you were with her everyday. Hopefully soon you will be. 

Jenni has the strap on and walks over to you. 

“Spread your legs baby”

You spread your legs wide, so Jenni can get in between them.

“That’s my good girl” Jenni says

Jenni crawls in between your legs and slips the strap inside you. You moan instantly.

“You like that cariño?” Jenni speaks

“Yes. Faster, ple-.” You begin to say, but Jenni starts to make out with you.

“You like that? You squeeze me so tight, fuck you’re so tight baby.” Jenni says as she begins to fuck you faster and harder. You hear the wetness of the strap and your release and it turns you on even more.

You feel yourself building up and you begin to cry out

“Jenni, I’m close so close” you moan

Jenni pulls out and stops and looks down at you.

“What you thought you’d get to cum that easily after you ignored me for over 3 days?” Jenni says

You frown and start to say

“Jenni, I don’t-” you stop just as Jenni bends down and licks your pre-cum off the strap. You almost cum at the sight.

“Nuh nuh nuh, you don’t get to come unless I say so” Jenni smiles at you

She brings her mouth down to you and begins to eat you out, you cry out in pleasure and satisfaction. It feels so good. She slips two fingers inside you and begins to pump them in and out of you. You are moaning so loud now, you’re scared the whole hotel will hear but you don’t care it feels too good to stop.

“Like I said, no cuming until I say, ok princesa? If you cum before I say so, you won’t like what happens” Jenni says

You doubt you won’t like what Jenni does to you, but you decide to listen anyways.

You nod and she smiles.

“That’s a good girl, my good girl” Jenni says

She returns to eating you out and fingering you. You don’t know how you’re going to last. The pleasure is too good to not cum. 

“Jenni please, let me cum, I need it” you say

“Don’t leave me,” Jenni says “Say you’ll stay and maybe i’ll let you cum”

You immediately say “I’ll stay, I'll never leave you Jenni, I love you” 

Jenni begins to fuck you with her fingers faster than even while staring at you.

“Cum” Jenni says

You cum hard, almost embarrassingly fast.

Jenni kisses you while you’re cumming, and you look at her. She looks at you like you mean everything to her, with so much love in her eyes.

“You did so good, baby.” Jenni whispers in your ear while she begins to clean you up.

“You can sleep now, I’m not going anywhere.”

While you drift off you hear Jenni say

“I love you too mi amor, more than you’ll ever know.”

Part 3 will be out soon (it’ll probably be the last part.) IT ENDS GOOD I PROMISE.

The 3rd part will sum up the story and will fill any plot holes left (y/n going to Barcelona, moving to Spain, asking to be Jenni's girlfriends, etc.)

[damiansgoodgirll]

Hello! Could you write something about jealous VVD. You're out with the girls and they record you having fun, shaking ass and stuff. Obviously, he's not happy about it.

Thank you ☺️

reader’s not shaking her ass because i can’t shake my ass so i wouldn’t be able to relate but she’s having some real fun 🍾🍾

virgil van dijk x reader

‼️ big virgil is mad at us, sorry + him being a little possessive

as long as you’re mine

it was rare that you had time to meet up with your friends and have a fun night out. two of your best friends had kids so it was impossible for them to stay out over 9 pm and the others were much into their perfect wives role that they didn’t even had time for themselves.

but tonight, somehow, you managed to get them all together to have some real fun in a very special club downtown liverpool.

it felt like it’s been years since you last saw them and you couldn’t wait to gossip about anyone again.

virgil wasn’t really excited about the idea of you clubbing all night. not because he didn’t trust you, but because he didn’t trust the people around you. he knew how man could get when they see a pretty lady, the knew it very well.

so he tried to convince you to stay home but you refused and met up with your friends.

you had a nice dinner and then you all went to the heaven club, your favourite place in all the town. virgil didn’t like it so he never came with you but tonight you finally had the chance to have some real fun with your friends and you couldn’t wait for it.

one drink first, then a second one and a third one. one man offered you a glass of wine that you kindly refused so he offered it to one of your friends that accepted. you all were laughing and having fun when, all of sudden your phone started ringing.

virgil was calling you but you never picked up.

what you didn’t know was that someone was filming you and posting everything on twitter. you weren’t doing anything wrong, you were just laughing and chatting while some of your friends were dancing and shaking their asses but still, someone managed to get your pictures and videos out on twitter.

you never picked up your phone that night, not until the uber you all booked, left you at home around 4 am. you weren’t that drunk but you didn’t trust yourself to drive.

you removed your heels before entering your home, thinking that virgil was already fast asleep so you were kinda surprised when you saw him sitting on the couch watching the news on tv.

“virgil?” you called him and he turned around to look at you “what are you doing still awake? i told you not to wait for me…”

“i had to wait for you in case you never came back home…i don’t know, what if you fell asleep on some cheap couch in some cheap club?” he said standing up and looking at you.

“what? what are you talking about?”

“you know damn well what i’m talking about…” he was mad but you didn’t know why.

“i can see you are mad but i don’t know why…care to explain it?” you asked him a little confused.

“did you really have to do all of that? acting like you don’t have a husband waiting for you at home? if you wanted attention you just had to say it…”

“what the fuck are you talking about virgil!” you started to get mad as how he kept being so obnoxious.

he took two seconds to take his phone out of his pocket and show you everything that’s being going on twitter “this is what i’m talking about!” he showed you one of the videos where you were seen talking with a man - the man you refused the wine from but of course virgil didn’t know that. he showed you another video of you dancing with one of your friends, and it wasn’t the dancing itself to upset him, it was the fact that a man was making inappropriate comments about you.

“virgil…that man offered me wine and i said no, that’s why i was talking with him…and sorry, but it’s not my fault i wanted to have fun with my friends and men can’t keep their dicks in their pants…i’m not apologising for that” you calmed down after seeing the videos and why he reacted that way “but you gotta trust me virgil, and it hurts me knowing that you don’t trust me”

“i know it’s not your fault…i just, i hate seeing men talking about you like you would give them a chance…and i’m sorry for overreacting…i trust you, i love you, it’s the people around you that i don’t trust, it’s the people around that want to take advantage of you and if something has to happen…”

“virgil” you chuckled “nothing is gonna happen okay? i just had a few drinks and i’m capable of defending myself if something happens okay?”

“okay but”

“no buts…”

“but” he kept going “you are mine, my wife, my love, my woman, mine, got it?” he asked, his voice showing more authority.

“i’m yours virgil, as long as you are mine” you answered back.

his lips turned into a smirk, while his hands moved to your hips “i’m definitely yours, as i sad again, you’re mine…” he whispered into your ear and you didn’t know if it was the alcohol or not but you were feeling butterflies all over your body “so now, you let me take care of you as a proper husband should do, got it?” he asked and you nodded.

you definitely wouldn’t have let him go so easily.

[mxstellatayte]

fuck me up, florida.

warnings: angst for the majority of it, sex at the end though, legal use of alcohol (reader and logan are both 23,) mentions of gunshot wounds, minor character death, based on a taylor swift song, childhood (middle/high school) friends to lovers, idiots in love, "you came" "you called," reader is half mexican (mom's side), slightly inaccurate bc i know carola wasn't at the miami gp but just go with it for the plot, reader's last name is rodriguez,

author's note: y'all i apologize if any of the spanish grammar is a little weird. my spanish is rusty, pls don't hate me for it

logan sargeant x female reader

i need to forget so

tuesday, april 30th.

you scan your ticket, the screen displaying your name and seat number. 12A. at least it'll be easy to sleep, you think.

after shoving your suitcase above your seat, you shuffle your way to the window and buckle yourself in.

are you really doing this? flying a couple thousand miles to visit your childhood best friend who, up until recently, had you convinced that his newfound fame that he'd gathered by announcing his enrollment in the williams driver's academy made him too good for you.

the only thing that made you think otherwise was the instagram dm he'd sent you five weeks prior, asking if you'd be able to make it to the miami grand prix. instead of a simple yes or no, you responded with the heaviest three words you've ever seen in order.

can we call?

logan picked up on the second ring.

"hey."

"hey."

"how's texas?"

you smile. "hot. sunny. flat. beachless."

"so... it's good?" you hate that you can still picture his facial expressions even after not seeing him for years except for on tv.

"'s okay, but it's not home, y'know?"

"definitely. it doesn't matter how much i decorate my place in england, it's never florida."

"nothing besides florida is ever florida," you sigh, looking out the window of your apartment. "how's the season been?" you don't exactly know why you're asking. you know exactly how his season's gone. you keep every single detail of every single race weekend meticulously catalogued in a journal that you take everywhere with you. no matter what, you've stayed up late or woken up early to watch every race, as if your hopeful energy would make its way across the world to him in time.

"honestly? it's been pretty shit. the car handles really badly and wasn't really even ready for the first few hours of testing in bahrain. i can't get it to perform and maybe that's just because i haven't linked with the car yet, but it still really sucks."

you sigh, hoping logan can't tell how disappointed you are with his team and engineers. "you need a better team, lo."

"i know." there's silence between you for a few moments, and every second that passes makes it grow heavier on your chest. "will you come to miami?"

there it is. the reason you called him.

"i don't know, lo. don't get me wrong, i'd love to, but it's really short notice and i don't know if i could afford the trip. i might be able to make it to austin, but i'll need the time to save the money for the trip."

"i'll fly you out," logan immediately says, his tone almost desperate. longing. "i'll pay for your flight, your hotel, everything. please?"

that last word hit you like a punch in the gut. you only had one more reason to not go and you weren't about to tell him that reason. it was a shitty excuse anyways.

you're not about to tell him that the reason you moved to texas was to give him the space he needed to be able to succeed in his career and for you to succeed in yours.

take me to florida

you're jolted awake by the force of the plane landing, if you can call the awkward limbo you were stuck in sleep. immediately, your stomach twists with anxiety. logan had offered to pick you up from the airport, but you refused.

"i'll just take an uber," you'd said. "i'm gonna want to relax a bit after the flight, y'know?"

his only trade-off? you met him for dinner. simple enough, right?

in theory.

now, standing in front of the full-length mirror in your hotel room, you debate between a floral sundress and a pair of denim shorts, a tank top, and a white button-up t-shirt with a colorful inkblot pattern.

you decide on the sundress.

fifteen minutes later, you're pushing earrings through your piercings, silver abstract shapes you'd bought on a trip to europe with your mother. you have to leave, but the situation you're in sucks. your hair won't sit right on your head, either being too frizzy from the humidity or losing any and all volume, and your makeup just doesn't seem like it'll last in the miami heat.

fuck it.

who are you dressing for, anyways?

logan's seen you at your absolute worst. he was the only one you let yourself cry in front of after your father died. he was the one that held you for what seemed like hours while you sobbed into his chest and he told you that none of it was your fault- that you never could have known that, when you hugged him before he left for the police station, told him you loved him, and slipped a note into his lunch box, the next time you would see him, he would be laying in a casket. he was the only one that could make you smile in the weeks following his funeral, dropping his entire schedule if you simply sent him a text that said "can you come over?"

the restaurant logan found isn't too far from your hotel, so you ultimately decide to walk. your walk is over before you're able to process that it even started and you're taking out your earbuds and putting them in your bag, taking out your phone instead to text logan.

i'm here.

i've got some regrets

were you always this breathtakingly beautiful?

logan's phone buzzes in his front pocket, but he knows it's you texting him. he doesn't even bother taking it out of his pocket before standing up from his seat at the bar and walking over to you, and when you see him, your smile almost makes his heart melt.

"hey," he says, and he hopes his voice doesn't waver from how nervous he is.

"hey. i missed you," you respond, dodging the hand he holds out and going in for a hug. "i've known you since middle school, logan, i'm not shaking your hand."

your arms around him and your body pressed against his almost makes logan short circuit. thankfully, he's able to regain control of his brain and hug you back, hopefully before you realize he isn't hugging you back.

when you pull back, the hug seeming way too brief for logan's preference, you're looking up and smiling with a sparkle in your eyes that makes him regret not making enough time for you. "thanks for bringing me out here."

"thanks for coming. do you want a drink?"

"sure. do you have a table yet?"

"i was waiting for you."

"in that case, lead the way." you gesture towards the restaurant, and logan shows you to a booth in the corner. soon enough, a waiter comes over to you and sets down two glasses of water and two menus.

"welcome in, y'all. do we need a bit of time to look at the menu or do we know what we want to get started?" his southern drawl is thick, and it reminds you of texas. but you're in florida now.

"i think we'll look at the menu for a minute, thanks," logan says, and the waiter nods and walks away. as you open the menu and begin looking, logan points out something you might like and you do the same for him. conversation begins to flow freely between you, and it reminds you of the times in high school when you would go out with friends.

eventually, you decide on a plate of nachos and logan gets a plate of wings. as you wait for your food, you catch up on everything: your move to texas, logan's racing career, your work volunteering with the austin philharmonic, his homesickness from living in england, and everything in between. you crack stupid jokes, share bites of food, and steal sips of each other's drinks.

it's like old times.

i'll bury them in florida

on wednesday, you and logan drive up to visit your father's headstone. it's difficult. it's only the third time you've visited him since he was buried three years ago. the first time you visited him was a year after he died. even a year later, you still carried so much anger and hatred towards the doctors and nurses that were operating on him, trying desperately to save his life after two bullets hit him- one in his leg, one in his torso.

he died on the table.

the second time was just a few months after, and you were still wearing your cap, gown, and stole from your graduation ceremony. by then, you had been able to forgive the doctors and had graduated in the top 10% of your class. four years of hell had finally rewarded you with a degree in instrumental performance and an internship at the south florida symphony orchestra.

now, the third time, you have a picnic blanket and lunch packed into the backseat of logan's car, the windows are rolled down, and your favorite playlist is shuffled on the aux. it's a beautiful day, too; it isn't too hot (even with the humidity,) there's a gentle breeze in the air, and clouds occasionally cover the sun. when logan pulls into the parking lot of the cemetery and you sling your tote bag full of food over your shoulder, your hands start shaking.

of course, logan notices.

his hand slides into your own, and you look up at him. his eyes meet yours and you smile. "thank you for coming with me," you say.

"of course. i didn't want you to have to do this alone."

you look back at the gate into the cemetery, the black bars menacingly sleek and very, very terrifying. you chew your lower lip in anxiety. "i don't know if i can do it, logan."

"i'm here with you. i know you. you're strong. you aren't the kind of person to let a gate scare you." you laugh lightly, looking down at the ground. the gravel of the parking lot, your scuffed, beat-up high top purple converse, and logan's nike dunks make up what you have to describe as a perfect picture. your phone is in your free hand before you know it, and you're lining up the shot. "still into photography, huh?"

"yep. i have some cameras in my suitcase at the hotel." when you pocket your phone and look back up at him, logan's heart melts. the shine in your eyes and the passion in your smile is enough to soften anyone's heart, but for him, as someone who's known you for years and has been there for you through thick and thin, it touches him in such a special way. "i'm hoping to get some good photos of the races. but enough delaying. let's go visit my dad."

the creak of the gates opening makes your ears bleed, and you laugh at how logan is making the exact same face as you in reaction to such a shrill sound. despite only having visited his headstone twice before, you remember exactly where in the cemetery it is and are able to find it within five minutes.

"hi, dad," you begin, your voice already wavering just the slightest and tears beginning to well in your eyes. logan's hand squeezes yours, though, and you're reminded that he's right there. he always will be. you take a deep breath and continue. "i miss you. we all do. i know i haven't visited you in a while, and i'm sorry about that. i really do have to come stop by every now and then. i moved to austin and have a volunteering gig with the austin philharmonic at almost every show and i have a job at a company that helps students with learning disabilities learn instruments. it's really fun." you pause to wipe the tears off of your cheeks, your nose beginning to drip. "sam is in his junior year of college, and he's majoring in engineering. he flew the coop, but he still comes home for the summers. he, uh, he actually got in to c.u. boulder, like he always talked about. that kid was always thinking about college, even in middle school.

"i'm actually here with logan, too, if you hadn't noticed. do you, uh, do you want to fill him in on what's going on with you, or should i keep going?"

"whatever you prefer."

"okay, i'm going to keep talking, because i think if i don't, i'm going to completely break down. logan finally signed with williams to drive on their formula 1 team last year, like i always said he would. i'm really proud of him and really regret not telling him that more, and now that i'm saying it out loud i'm promising both you and him that i'll tell him that more often. the race this weekend is actually here, in florida. miami, specifically. it's always a celebrity shit show that no one really wants to see, but it's the main opportunity for the celebrity sponsors to actually go to a race.

"what else has been going on? oh, mom is still a therapist. i can't tell you much about that because of hipaa, but she always comes home saying that she's glad that she could help someone. i'm gonna have dinner with her tomorrow night, and then i'm going back into miami to watch logan's practice sessions."

you pause your rambling, thinking about what there is to say next, but your thought is interrupted by your stomach grumbling. loud. you and logan laugh just as loudly, the sound echoing through the grass field and stone gravesites. "oh, yeah, that's another thing. we brought lunch. i also got you pink tulips, because i know they're your favorite." you delicately rest the bouquet on your father's headstone as you sit down, then pull out the different plastic containers filled with food you'd stolen from the williams hospitality. "you'd be proud of me, dad. i smuggled this entire picnic out of the wiliams motorhome without a hiccup. robin hood style."

logan laughs, and you turn to him. he's mirrored your position, sitting cross-legged on the grass. "apple?"

"nah, i'm gonna start with my sandwich. i did grab you some of the salt and vinegar chips i know you like."

the look logan gives you can only be described as pure adoration. "you," he says, pointing a finger at you in an incredibly sassy manner, "are an absolute goddess."

"i know," you respond cheekily, tossing some hair over your shoulder.

the banter between the two of you continues through your picnic, laughter and smiles erasing the dried tracks of tears on your cheeks and on logan's. you're almost able to forget where you are.

tell me i'm despicable

almost two hours later, the two of you are laying in a nearby park underneath a tree, peacefully observing the clouds that pass overhead and talking even more about any topic that comes to your mind. the question that's been gnawing at you since your plane landed in miami eventually bubbles to the surface, and it tumbles past your lips before you can stop it.

"did you ever wonder why i moved to texas?" you look to your left where logan rests, but he keeps looking up at the sky. you mirror him.

"i always assumed it was just because you needed a change of scenery. after everything that happened and your music career taking off, it would make sense that you would relocate to somewhere better suited for you."

"that's the thing, though. if i'm being entirely honest with you, lo, i hate texas. i hate the whole state. i hate how hot it is all the time without even being humid, i hate not being able to go to the beach. i hate how dry it is. i hate how flat it is. i hate the monotony of it. i hate not being here."

logan hesitates for a moment before speaking, and it's the longest moment you've ever experienced. "why did you move to austin, then?"

when he looks over at you, you're chewing your lower lip. it's a nervous tic, logan's noticed. he's not even sure if you know you do it. "honestly? i thought you moved on from our friendship. i thought everything with f1 suddenly got so big and important and famous that maybe i wasn't... enough? i thought that being a police officer's daughter from the same town as you that was studying to teach people how to understand and play music maybe just wasn't cool enough to be friends with a world-renowned formula 1 driver."

logan's heart almost shatters when he hears the weakness in your voice. you sound so broken and so alone. he knew that, when you lost your father, you isolated yourself from a lot of people, even your best friend from high school and through your first year of college. he was the only person outside of your immediate family that you spent a decent amount of time with, but when he was admitted to the driver's academy he had to move to england. he abandoned you.

"i didn't. i never forgot about you. sometimes i still look through the photos we have together because i miss you that much."

you sit up, tears pricking your eyes for the second time that day. "really?"

"yeah. maybe once a week?"

when you look down at logan, you're suddenly starstruck. you can't help but notice all of his little features that you wouldn't see if you didn't know to look for them. his freckles that are so light you'd have to squint to see them if you didn't know them like the back of your hand. the mole on his chin that he'd always been self-conscious about but you've always seen it as beautiful. the lines from where his eyes crinkle when he smiles. the annoyingly perfect flop of his hair that he's styled almost the exact same way since you started high school together. an urge you haven't felt in years suddenly bubbles, white-hot in the pit of your stomach, and it's boiling over before you can stop it. your eyes are closed and your lips are on his. finally. after years of wanting, of stares that lasted just a bit too long to be just friendly, of flushed faces and nervous excuses, you're finally kissing him.

but he's not kissing you back.

you pull back immediately, panicked that you read something wrong. you turn away, hiding your face in your hands out of shame. "shit, logan, i'm so sorry. i thought-"

"kiss me again." logan sits up, and when you turn around, the look he's giving you can only be described as completely and entirely fucked. you don't question his statement, just lean forward, placing your lips on his, and letting yourself melt. he moans softly into the kiss, his right arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you impossibly closer. when you pull away and open your eyes, your breath catches in your throat. he looks beautiful. his eyes remain closed, but when they flutter open, you see colors in them that you've never seen before. sure, you've always seen the darker rim of blue that outlines his irises, but now that you're so close to him, you can see the flecks of green and grey in them. it's the most stunning thing you've ever seen.

eventually, you break the silence between the two of you. "i've wanted to kiss you for so long," you whisper, so quiet you're not sure logan heard it.

but he did.

"me, too," he says, and after a beat of silence between you two, you both burst out laughing. the laugh he hears from you is the pure, bright laugh that logan's missed so dearly, the laugh that you only really let him hear. the laugh that has tears in your eyes and makes you snort because you're laughing so hard you can't even breathe properly.

eventually, when you're able to calm down, your head resting on logan's shoulder, your hand holding his, you're able to process what just happened. you just hope logan is processing it, too.

"we just kissed."

"yes. we did."

"how long have you held out on me?"

"since christmas of sophomore year. when you made me the chevron bracelet with my favorite colors."

you laugh, then lift your head to look at him. "i fell for you in october of that year. when you convinced your mom to drive two and a half hours for the marching band state finals. just so you could be there with me."

"god, we're idiots," logan laughs. you can't help but lean forward and press another kiss to his lips, lingering there and just breathing him in.

existing.

say it's unforgivable

the next two days fly by. thursday, you spend the day with your mother. she asks all sorts of questions as if she doesn't know the answers, and you answer each one with a smile on your face. when she asks about logan, you smile sheepishly. she figures out what the smile means.

"took you two long enough."

normally you'd still be in bed at 9:30 am on a friday, but today, you walk into the miami paddock clutching logan's hand for dear life. your neon green pass hangs from your neck, a white williams cap atop your head. you can't help but feel out of place, but someone calls logan's name and you both turn. your stomach drops when you see who's called his name. his hair is styled similarly to logan's, and he sports a papaya polo.

you'd know him anywhere. it's oscar piastri.

you're standing there a bit awkwardly as logan greets his friend, but your heart stops when oscar turns to you. "oscar, this is my girlfriend." he introduces you by your name to the mclaren driver and you wipe your hands on your denim shorts before shaking his hand firmly, exchanging "nice to meet you"s. the three of you chat for a few minutes before oscar is summoned by his pr manager.

"girlfriend, huh?" you look up at logan with a smile on your face, lacing his fingers with yours.

"i didn't mean to overstep, but i kind of assumed that's what this is now. is it?" he looks a bit nervous asking that, and if you thought your love for him couldn't grow any more, you thought wrong.

"that's absolutely what we are, lo. you're my boyfriend. i'm your girlfriend." you can tell just how hard logan's trying to not let the smile on his face show just how happy he is to hear you say that, and you stand on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips briefly. "you have a prep meeting to get to, don't you?"

"i do. come with me, though. i need to introduce you to alex and lily. she can show you around."

"sounds like a plan. i need to learn how to do all of..." you gesture around you, the white tents and media carts all seeming suddenly too intimidating. "...this."

logan laughs, placing a hand on the small of your back to guide you towards the williams hospitality. when you're next to him, though, despite the cameras around you and your proximity to some of the world's biggest stars, you feel safe and protected.

after meeting logan's teammate and the thai driver's girlfriend, who you quickly realize is one of the sweetest people you've ever had the pleasure of meeting, you're shown around the williams hospitality and, eventually, the paddock. lily introduces you to the other drivers' wives and girlfriends that have made it to the weekend, and when you hear a certain last name, your ears perk up.

"martinez? is she latina?"

"yeah," kika, pierre's girlfriend, says. "she's checo's wife. i'm pretty sure she's in the red bull hospitality right now, though."

"ah, speak of the devil," lily says. you see carola walking up to the five of you, alexandra ("please, honey, call me alex," she'd said, bringing you in for a kiss on your cheek,) having walked away to get a drink and escape into the sweet air conditioning. "carola, there's a new couple on the paddock."

"you're kidding," the latina answers, her accent apparent. "who?"

"logan found himself a girlfriend. allow me to introduce her." lily turns to you and introduces you by your full name, last name and all. it seems that carola has a similar reaction to your last name as you did to hers, and her head tilts to the side.

"ya no eres la única mexicana aquí," you say, and her eyebrows raise. (you aren't the only mexican here anymore.)

"hablas español, también?" (you speak spanish, too?) when you nod, her smile brightens. "hay, chica, creo que nosotras dos nos vamos a llevar muy bien." (oh, girl, i think we're going to get along very well.)

on saturday, you find yourself back in the williams motorhome, except this time, you wear a second badge, the neon green lanyard reading grid access in bold black lettering. like the day before, you clutch logan's hand for your own comfort until, much to your dismay, he's summoned for driver duties. you place a quick kiss on his cheek, and when you pull back, you aren't sure if the flush on his cheeks is from the affection or the miami heat. probably both.

"in case i don't see you before sprint. for luck."

"oh, you'll be in the garage. that's what this pass is for," logan says, holding your second badge in front of your face. "lily will show you where to go. i'll take a kiss anyways, though." you smile, stand on your toes, and kiss him, pulling back before he can wrap an arm around your waist. (that was a trick he very much enjoyed, as you'd learned the night before. there was something in him that needed you as close to him as possible, and it covered every nerve ending in your body in liquid fire.)

"off you go. you need to get race ready. i'll see you before you go out on the grid. don't worry." you gently shove him away with a smile, and you'd stare at him longer if your ankles weren't suddenly being attacked. you look down and squeal. "hi, leo! did your dad let you run free?" you squat down and scratch the mini daschund behind his disproportionally large ears, and he barks excitedly.

someone curses in french to your right, and you look up from the little golden ball of energy to see none other than charles leclerc frantically searching around. leo barks again, and the monégasque whips around, then locks eyes on you first, then his dog.

"merde, leo. you have too much energy for it being this early in the morning," he laughs as he walks over to you.

"i apologize, it appears i've unintentionally kidnapped your dog." you stand, and leo jumps at your calves again.

"ah, no harm, no foul," charles replies, picking up his dog and holding him close to his chest. "i will say, though, you look strangely familiar. have we met? my name is charles."

"we have not." you extend your hand and offer your name, and, when charles' eyebrows furrow and his head tilts in confusion, you realize that means nothing to him. "i'm logan's girlfriend."

"ah! yes, of course! he has a photo of the two of you at your high school graduation in his wallet. that's where i knew you from. well, it's nice to meet you!" that was news to you. logan has a picture of you in his wallet? either way, you just casually met one of the most famous people in the world like it was a standard tuesday.

if this is what i signed up for by being logan's girlfriend, then it is absolutely wild.

you're able to catch another good luck kiss with logan as he's almost fully suited up, and fuck, does he look good. his fireproof suit hangs low on his hips, the arms tied together in front of him. dark blue is a good color on him, and his facial hair is grown out in just the slightest. you can't lie, he looks hot as hell.

you cross your legs in an attempt to curb the heat that creeps down your tummy and between them. it doesn't work.

you amend it that night in logan's hotel room following his p10 in the sprint.

on sunday, you try to avoid thinking about the night before as you follow the same routine as the two days before- arriving early in the day, checking in at the williams motorhome, and then killing time until the driver's parade at 2:00 PM. you spend time with your new group of friends, spending the three remaining hours before the parade in the paddock club. rebecca, carlos' girlfriend, snickers at your shocked face when you see some of your idols and favorite celebrities casually walking around, gladly taking some photos for you as you're practically buzzing with excitement.

after the driver's parade, it's a whirlwind. you're swept back into the williams garage and find logan's driver's room relatively easily thanks to the help of some of the engineers and mechanics, but one of them stops you before you can venture too far into the depths of the hallways.

"could you tell him we have the pre-race strategy meeting in twenty minutes?"

"yeah, for sure." as you approach logan's door, you have to bite down on your lower lip to stifle the grin that wants to split your face. you knock on his door, and when he opens it, you know something's wrong. "lo, are you okay?" his eyes are red and his hand shakes on the doorknob. instead of a verbal response, he just opens the door a bit further to let you in, and, as soon as it shuts behind you, he sobs, and your heart shatters.

"i'm so scared. i'm so scared that something's going to happen and i'm going to let all of these people down and-" you gather him into your arms and he cries into the crook of your neck, your williams crewneck shirt now damp with his tears. you couldn't care less.

"you're going to do amazing, logie. i know you will." with your arms wrapped around him, it's almost like a weighted blanket of safety has encompassed him, and his sobs slow, his breaths growing deeper and more even. you continue murmuring words of confidence into his shoulder, and not a single word you say is empty.

"hey. look at me." you lean back and gently cup his cheek with your right palm, and when his eyes meet yours, you know that he needed to cry that one out. "do you feel a little bit better?" logan nods, tilting his head ever so slightly to kiss your palm, his own hand coming up to rest over yours. it's a cute, sappy, stupidly romantic moment that you from three weeks ago would've probably thought was the grossest thing known to mankind, but you can't help but bask in the moment. "is there anything i can do to help you feel better right now?" your voice is a soothing balm over logan's agitated nerves, and he slowly untangles himself from you and guides you over to the couch that's against the back wall, where he sits down and you curl up to his left side.

"can you just... talk? about anything?"

"are you seriously asking if me, the person with the most rampant adhd you've ever met, can talk about something? yes, logan, i absolutely can. what to talk about, though?"

as you talk, deciding to info dump about your favorite classical music piece, logan can't help but watch it unfold. he doesn't know jack shit about music theory, but listening to you ramble about something you're passionate about brings him so much peace. you're disturbed about fifteen minutes later by a knock at the door, promptly followed by a disembodied voice telling logan that it was time for the strategy meeting.

"aw, shit," he says, leaning his head back and rubbing at his eyes. "i have that to go to now."

"yeah, sorry. i was supposed to tell you about that but we had a bigger problem on our hands." your voice is sheepish now that your info dump has been cut short, but logan leans over to you and kisses you, soft and slow, just like the first time he kissed you properly in the park. when he pulls away, he looks so much calmer than he was twenty minutes before. "is there anything else i can do?"

"go have some fun in the paddock. and please drink some water." you roll your eyes and stand, bringing him in for another hug before you slip out of the door.

almost two hours later, you're back in the williams garage with a guest headset over your ears. your stomach twists with nerves as the national anthem concludes. lily's hand is clasped with yours.

"the first lap is the worst. after that, you lose a lot of the anxiety," she assures you, noticing how you chew your lower lip.

"thanks." you pause for a moment, contemplating another question. "does it ever get easier? seeing how they go out there and drive like absolute maniacs for fun?"

"it does. it took me a couple of months, but after alex showed me all of the safety features in the car and in his fireproofs, it definitely helped."

it's the moment you've been dreading.

one red light.

two.

three.

four.

five.

and then none.

the engines roar and the race has begun. lily didn't lie to you- the first lap is excruciatingly long, but when everyone's completed their first loop around the circuit, you let yourself breathe. your eyes are trained on the screen above you, and the laps are flying by so quickly that you barely process that the race is nearly halfway over.

but then logan's car is in the wall. fuck.

as you watch the replay of his crash, you can feel white-hot rage burning in your body. after the race stewards only declare a ten-second penalty and two super license points, though, you're fuming. "two penalty points and a ten-second penalty? magnussen caused logan's race to end, and they just let him go? they just forgive him and move on? how can he get away with that? this is bullshit!"

what a crash, what a rush

the first person logan looks for when he walks back into the williams garage, his visor still low over his eyes in shame, is you. when you see him walking towards the room where you and lily watch the race, you tear the headset off of your ears and run to him. the feeling of his arms wrapping around your shoulders and hearing his heartbeat even through your musician's earplugs soothes your agitated nerves. he's okay. he's alive. he isn't hurt. "thank fuck you're okay," you say, even though he definitely can't hear you through his helmet and over the roar of passing engines. when you pull away, you press a kiss to his knuckles and hope he understands how much love you're trying to convey through such a small gesture.

fuck me up, florida!

one of logan's best friends on the grid is oscar. oscar's teammate got his maiden win after almost five years of waiting in miami.

like any sensible person, you celebrate with him.

you have no idea what the name of the club is, much less how many drinks you've had so far, but what you do know is that lando has commandeered the dj station and logan is pressed against your back, his hands resting on your hips. the air is hot and thick, your heartbeat pounds in your head. the opening notes of bad bunny's tití me preguntó begin playing through the massive speakers, and you shoot a glare up to lando that he doesn't see, his focus instead on the equipment in front of him. when the bass hits, though, you let all apprehensiveness go and your genetics take the reins. your hips sway and swing to the beat, your hands wander up and down your torso, and logan simply follows your lead. it takes you a moment to realize that, if you want to get a rise out of him, you're going to have to spin around and face him.

with your hips swaying against his and how unbearably beautiful you look in the dim light, your skin glowing with sweat and your hair up in a high ponytail, logan can't help but lean down and kiss you when you finally turn around. you reciprocate gladly, your right leg slotting between both of his, and...

oh.

oh.

he's hard.

you pull away slightly, barely an inch between your lips. "slow your roll there, tiger."

"i don't want to." fire zips down your spine at the sound of his voice, low and breathy and so, so desperate. "need to fuck you."

"should we get outta here, then?"

"i thought you'd never ask." you smile and kiss him quickly, then take his hand and weave your way through the crowded dance floor. as the miami night air hits your face, you immediately feel cooler. you sigh, taking a moment to breathe and regulate your heart rate and body temperature, but you can't breathe for that long before logan wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you back against him and kissing your neck. you laugh, running your hands along his forearms.

"logan, not here. the hotel is two blocks away."

"i can't help it, baby, you just look so pretty," he hums, kissing the back of your neck once more before pulling away and stepping around to face you. "you look so pretty, and you're mine."

his possessiveness of you makes more heat zip down your spine, and you almost drool at how he's looking at you. his eyes, normally a beautiful mix between the blues of the sky and sea, ar"e almost completely dark, only a small sliver of his irises remaining, and the muscles in his jaw tick. "hotel. now."

by the time you reach the door to logan's hotel room, you're both out of breath from how hard he kissed you in the elevator and the arousal and need between your legs won't be stopped unless he replaces it. you stumble through the door and try to kiss logan again, matching the vigor he showed you in the elevator, but he stops you. "wanna take my time with you tonight."

"yeah?" you raise an eyebrow and inspect his face. the blinds are open but no lights are on, so all you can see is the side of his face that's illuminated by the lights from the streets of miami. it's an unusually beautiful sight.

"yeah. nothing about what i'm about to do to you is going to be fast. i'm gonna make you feel good tonight. how's that sound?"

"that sounds amazing, logan." you lean forward and kiss him gently, your lips slotting together as if you were made for each other. who knows, maybe you were. the next five minutes are a blur, but before you know it, you're laying back against the pillows on logan's bed and his face is buried between your thighs, his tongue working magic on your clit. the air in the hotel room is filled with your moans and the sounds of logan devouring you like a man starved, and it's the most beautiful mix of sounds you've ever heard. when he flicks his tongue oh-so-perfectly against your entrance, his nose brushing over your clit, you moan and pull his hair hard, which, in turn, makes him moan against you.

you aren't sure how much time passes or how many orgasms logan pulls from you with just his tongue and his fingers, but when you feel completely and entirely spent, your chest heaving and your hairline sparkling with tiny beads of sweat, you pull logan up to you by his shoulders, and he looks completely and entirely fucked. "need you inside of me," you mumble, wiping at the mix of spit and cum that coats the entire bottom half of his face with your thumbs. as if on instinct, you bring your hands to your mouth and lick them clean, and logan groans at the sight. "inside. now."

"as you wish, baby." logan's hands fumble at his boxers, the only item of clothing he was left wearing, and when he finally, finally pushes himself into you, you both moan. your hands scrabble at his shoulders and back, most definitely leaving red marks that will raise later, and his mouth latches onto your neck, biting down and then gently kissing over the red spot.

"nngh, lo-" your brain is short circuiting, logan's cock filling you up so perfectly and absolutely ruining you for any other man ever.

"yeah? you okay, baby?" he pulls back from your neck and scans your face for any sign of discomfort of pain, his sky blue eyes searching your own. the feeling of safety you get from just that one action is almost enough to make you sob from how good you feel because of him, both physically and emotionally.

"feels so good, lo. j'st... move, please."

"you sure? i don't wanna hurt you."

"positive. now please." you reach a hand up and pull him down towards you by the back of his neck, tangling your fingers in his hair and pulling hard. "fuck me properly." without wasting a second, logan reaches a hand down and hooks it under your left thigh, bringing your leg up to rest around his waist, then pulling back and thrusting back in fast. the moan that rips itself from your throat is sinful, and your breath is being punched from your lungs at the downright brutal pace logan's setting. your right leg finds itself locking around his waist, only bringing him infinitely closer, and now, each time he thrusts back into you, your clit bumps against his pelvis. within minutes, you're embarrassingly close to cumming again, and through your garbled mumbling and clawing at his shoulders, he understands, reaching his right hand down to gently press against your clit.

"cum for me, baby, please, need to feel you cum for me just one more time, just let go, i've got you." it's logan's voice that ultimately sends you pummelling over the edge into an orgasm that makes your back arch and your vision fuzz at the edges, and you cum with a cry of his name. his hips slow and his fingers maintain a steady rhythm on your clit, but you can tell it's taking its toll on him. "where- where do you want me to cum?"

"i'm on the pill, lo. inside, baby, please," you whine, and it takes two more thrusts before logan groans, his hips coming to a shuddering halt as he cums inside of you. it's a beautiful sight, too- his eyes scrunched closed and his eyebrows drawn together, his hair a complete mess from where your hands had pulled at it. your hands run through his hair and along his back, and you patiently wait as he comes back to earth.

"hi," he murmurs, opening his eyes and smiling down at you.

"hi," you respond.

no other words need to be said. you know you love him, and he knows he loves you.

and you're both okay with that.

this took me way longer to write than i thought it would, but i absolutely love it! reminder that my asks and requests are open, and i always get excited when i get feedback! take care of urselves lovies <3

[rad1og1rl]

About to board some flights , had a lil inspo for my fav Jaybird <3

no tws besides flight anxiety ? unedited.

fluff, pre-established relationship, gn reader, comfort for jason from reader.

Jason didn’t like flying. He hadn’t flown since he went to find his mother, and the trauma which ensued after that didn’t help his anxiety. But you hadn’t seen your parents since you moved to Gotham, and you wanted them to meet your boyfriend of 2 years. They had only spoken to him on the phone.

So you wrestled him into flying to your parent’s lake house in New Hampshire. Only a 2 hour flight, and within the United States. Easy, short and simple. You even took over packing for him, buying everything and anything TSA-approved and measuring every bag for carry-ons.

You went through his closet and held stuff up for him to approve or deny, and rolled everything into a suitcase and stuffed it to the brim. Your stay was two weeks in a guest room, and you wanted to make sure he was as comfortable as possible .

Luckily , your flight was not a red eye for the surprisingly cheap price. You were set to depart at 12:30 PM and arrive around 2:30.

The day of the flight, all packed up and ready to go, you noticed Jason pacing around the living room quietly. “Jay, honey , what’s wrong ?” You asked, lightly treading into the living room and tapping him lightly.

“Just..just nerves. Haven’t flown in a while, y’know?” He says, turning to face you. “It’s okay hon, you should get a drink before we get on. The airport is one of the only places you can day-drink and no one says anything.” You say, laughing. He nods and maintains a frown, and you take his face in your hands and rub your thumbs across his skin lovingly. “Jason, it will be fine.” He sighs and pulls back, nodding and grabbing his suitcase and backpack from the couch. “Seriously , Jason. New Hampshire is nice! There’s not a lot of crime, and lots of nature, and my parents are gonna love you.” You say, keeping your gaze focused on him.

“Oh! Our Uber is here ! We gotta go!” You say, scrambling to grab the matching suitcases and your backpack. You grab Jason’s muscular bicep and drag him out the door, locking it behind you and pushing him towards elevator of your apartment complex.

Upon exiting the elevator doors and arriving in the parking lot, the Uber is parked closely to the sidewalk. The driver pops open the trunk and Jason takes it upon himself to load up the trunk with all the luggage , being mindful of the attached neck pillows on each handle. Jason opens the back door of the car for you and shuts it, joining you on the opposite side and watching the driver start up the car.

The driver pulls away and heads onto the main road, playing music and allowing you to talk to Jason. “I texted my parents that we’re on our way to the airport , and they’re really excited to meet you.” You said, starting the conversation. Jason smiled slightly and grabbed your hand with his larger, calloused one and held it tightly. It was these little things that Jason did to let you know how he felt. Anxious but loved . Excited and nervous and probably more. “It’s okay , Jay. It’s just one flight. And we won’t have to fly anywhere else anytime soon.” You said, running your fingers across some scarring on his knuckles. “And hey, maybe next time, we can drive over. Make it a road trip! See some roadside attractions or something. Wouldn’t that be fun?” You add, smiling at the idea. Jason takes a liking to it as well, evident by his grin.

“Yeah, y’know I’d love that.” He said, grinning. “We could rent a van, and drive through national parks. Oh! And imagine reading a book overlooking beautiful lakes and scenery. That’s what we’ll do next visit. We’ll drive!” You say, cheerfully which seems to loosen Jason up slightly.

The car pulls up into the assigned gate, and Jason steps out first, opening up your door and taking your hand to pull you out. You thank the Uber and tip him on the app, and Jason pulls all the luggage out of the trunk, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and holding yours until you take it from him after putting your phone away. You bid the Uber farewell and grab your suitcase handle from Jason, and you trudge forward into the bustling Gotham airport.

You pull up the boarding passes on your phone and head straight for TSA, looking back to make sure Jason was following. He trails behind with a nervous tick on his face, which looked more aggressive due to his overall appearance. You hoped he would loosen up once you got him something at a bar.

Passing through TSA and it’s miserable lines, you drag Jason with you to your assigned gate and look around for a bar, quickly spotting one and beelining for it. Jason orders a gin and tonic, and you push him to sit down near the gate. 1 hour till the flight, and you both are okay. Travel-size bottles, clear bags for liquids , and you’re 85% sure you didn’t overpack. You’re okay. Jason seems okay too, nursing his drink while taking in the surroundings.

“Jay, you don’t need to be in vigilante mode right now. Literally nothing gets through TSA. This is a vacation, not a mission.” You said, sighing as you watch him survey the area suspiciously. “Sorry… just… a force of habit, y’know ? Always alert.” He says, downing the rest of his drink in a quick gulp.

“I packed you a book in your backpack by the way,” You start, glancing at him. “It’s called ‘East of Eden’, by John Steinbeck. I think it’s American classic literature…. it’s supposed to be a retelling of the book of Genesis. It was on sale at Barnes & Nobles so…..” You trail off, gauging his expression. He nods and taps his large fingers on his dark jeans, one finger at a time. “It’s for the flight , and our downtime at the house. There’s probably not movies on the flight because they usually only have that for long haul flights. Maybe one day we can take a long haul flight ? Just once, to … I don’t know , Ireland ? London? Where would you want to go?”

He glances at you and cracks the smallest smile, and nods before reaching for your waist, grabbing it with his rough, large hands and hugging you, leaning his head in the crook of your neck. “Ya know I’d go anywhere as long as it’s with you. But Ireland …. doesn’t sound half bad.” You smile at his admission and hug him back, glancing at the tv detailing the time. You’d be boarding in 10 minutes, one group at a time. You were group 4.

10 minutes of future travel plans, and you grab Jason’s hand to stroll on over to the boarding station. You scan your boarding passes once more and end up as seats 26 E & F . Jason takes your suitcase and hauls it up into the overhead compartment , his following suit. Ever the gentleman, he helps an old woman with hers as well , storing it for her and then following you to your assigned seats, sliding your backpacks under the seats in front of you. You then motion for him to take the window seat.

He looks like he isn’t exactly fond of the idea, but obliges. You scoot in next to him and immediately yank up the arm rest, wanting to be as near to him as possible. You lean against him and hold his hand and wait for the other passengers to board, enjoying the bustling atmosphere of the airplane filling up.

When everyone is seated, and the plane starts rolling down the runway, you feel Jason’s hand in your own tense up, and you squeeze it reassuringly.

You glance at him, as he looks out the window and then back at you, and the plane prepares for takeoff .

“You ready?” You ask.

He squeezes your hand back, “Ready.”

[arielburrow]

So It Goes

part two, part one here

As cliche as it is, the only way to describe this feeling was fireworks. It was every time four years ago, and it still is today. However, no feeling could ever suppress guilt, at least for you it seemed. It only took you a second to push yourself away from him, you watched as his head dropped and eyes shut, reality most likely hitting him too.

“i’m sorry, that was a mistake-,” he says looking at you with saddened eyes. “Joe that wasn’t just your fault, i think we just had one too many drinks, just forget that ever happened,” you tried to nervously laugh it off, but he wasn’t picking up on the joke. Instead, his expression dropped even more as he turned back towards the city. “Your right, that didn’t mean anything let’s just forget about it.” He says sternly as his face hardens. You were slightly confused at his tone, he seemed almost angry. “Joe, are you mad? I mean you know that was wrong, you have a girlfriend-”

“Obviously I know it was wrong y/n, that’s why I said it was a mistake and we should just wipe it from our minds, that shouldn’t be too hard for you right? You had no problem wiping me from your mind once before, what’s the problem with doing it again?” He blankly states rather loudly, whipping his head towards you before brushing past you and making his way inside. You couldn’t help but feel shocked at his words, it’s like a switch flipped in him and you had no clue what to say. It seemed as if he was still grieving the past, but that’s no excuse for reacting in such a way, especially when you only said that for the sake of protecting his relationship.

Entering the venue once again, there was a visibly shrunken crowd as many had started their goodbyes by now. “y/n! There you are! I left you like 30 text messages, where were you?” Rachel comes up to you in curiosity. “Um…I’ll catch you up in the uber,” you reply giving her a look that she instantly picked up on with curious eyes. “Wellll than let’s go say goodbye to our favorite couple because the car should be here in five minutes,”She pulls you over to say goodbye.

“Jesus woman I lose you for like a half hour and you find yourself in some scandal?” Rachel reply’s shocked at your recollection of what happened between you and Joe. “I know I know, it’s so weird how everything happened, but his reaction was even weirder. Obviously i’m just as much at fault as him for the kiss, but cmon you would think he would have been practically begging me to keep quiet, given his girlfriend was literally on the other side of the door!” You try to express your confusion, but deep down you didn’t even know how to feel about the whole thing.

“Listen, I think you need to just cool off a little, give it a night, and revisit this whole thing in the morning,” Rachel suggests as you make your way up her drive way. “Let’s get out of these tight ass dresses and binge watch Grey’s Anatomy for the tenth time. Okay?” She smiles at your happy nod and you both do just as she says.

You’d be lying if you said you got a good night sleep. Your mind kept you up all night racing with the most random thoughts. Staring at the ceiling of Rachel’s guest room all night you questioned yourself. Should you be mad at him or should you have gone after him last night? Should you text him? Should you just go back home and try to pretend like his face isn’t on every billboard you see? You’re drawn out of your thoughts due to a chime from your phone. You turn over and reach for it, noticing it’s still early in the morning. Your heart leaps when you notice the notification.

Joe-Hey y/n, I hope this is still your number, it’s Joe btw. I know it sounds crazy, but i was wondering if you could meet me for coffee today around noon? I know a really discrete spot away from any attention, I just rlly need to talk to you.

You let the message sink in for a moment. God this all felt so awful, you can’t help but feel as if this whole thing was entirely your own fault. You felt as if your presence in Joes life had become a burden once again. Instead of consulting with Rachel, or giving yourself time to think, you quickly responded.

y/n- i’m sorry but i don’t think that’s the best idea. I’m so sorry for causing any confusion or tension yesterday Joe. You’re in a happy relationship and i refuse to come in between that. Thank you for reaching out, but I think it’s best if we both go back to living out separate lives.

Joe knew there was no use in going back and fourth.

Joe- i’ll still be there at noon if you change your mind.

You decided to finally get up and get a head start on breakfast. You got to work in the kitchen and started coffee knowing Rachel would be down any second at the sound of her coffee pot.

“Wow i think im going to have to ask you to move in if I get to wake up to the smell of bacon every morning” She laughs making her way downstairs. “I really don’t think Daniel would be okay with that,” you say making both of your plates as she takes a seat at the barstools. “Please, not like he would even notice anyway, he’s practically gone every weekend now for work,” she rolls her eyes and you can’t help but frown at your friends obviously discontent. “I’m sorry hun, here eat up, i’ll make your coffee,” you push the plate of food towards her. “This is amazing y/n i cant believe you have to go back today” she muffles with a mouth full of food. “I know, I’m going to miss you, but i’m so close now! We can visit so much more often,” you smile as you sit with her over breakfast.

“So, have you given any thought into the whole Joe situation?” she questions. “Yeah actually, he texted this morning and asked that I meet him for coffee and to talk about something,” you respond with a shrug and she gives you a questioning look. You shake your head, “I shut it down, I just cannot get myself involved again you know? Someone’s going to end up hurt and I would rather just avoid that.” Rachel just gives you a look that tells you she silently disagrees but supports your opinion. “Whatever makes you happy y/n, i mean really at this point that’s all that matters, life’s too short to not wake up everyday with a smile on your face.” She says, leaving you puzzled. “Are you stoned right now or something?” You question genuinely concerned with her optimism. You both laugh as the dishes make there way to the sink and you head back upstairs.

You start to pack up all your stuff, hoping to hit the road soon, when your phone begins to ring.

“Hi mom.” you answer, not exactly in the mood for the drama she was most likely about to unleash on you, but still missing her voice. “Hi honey! How are you? How was the wedding?” she says sounding way too happy as usual. “It was beautiful, really nice to see everyone again.”

“Oh I bet, what about ocean eyes, how’s he doing?” your mom giggles at her name for him. “Um, how did you know Joe was there?” she question in a confused tone. “Well i mean I assumed he would be, but I also may have ran into Robin yesterday and had a long long chat with her,” She reply’s. “How in Gods name did you run into Joes mom? You guys live in different cities?” You question her once more. “Oh honey it was completely by chance. She was doing foundation stuff yesterday at my school and came and met with all the little kids, it was adorable! But anyways…that was not the topic of our chat. It was much more interesting I would say.”

“That’s nice you guys got to catch up mom. I talked to Joe a little bit yesterday too, he seemed great, really happy,”you decide to leave out a couple details of your encounter. You mom lets out a laugh that catches you by surprise. “Oh man, he got you to,” she giggles leaving you even more confused. “Mom what are you-”

“just listen. Robin was telling me all about him yesterday and oh honey let me tell you that boy is a wreck. Apparently he has this new girlfriend that he hates but just can’t seem to convey the message to.”

“Mom i’m sure he doesn’t hate her, maybe they just had a rough pat-“

“Oh no honey trust me. Robin says he’s tried breaking up with her TWICE already, but she just doesn’t get the memo. According to Joe she’s only in it for the attention and doesn’t actually show interest in him, just the life surrounding him. Oh! And! Robin says she’s a very disrespectful girl, no manners-”

“Okay okay mom that’s enough,” you finally cut her off. “I didn’t realize they weren’t doing good, that must be hard on him,” you respond genuinely feeling your gut drop at your moms confession. “Sorry y/n that was a lot, butttt I just thought you should know, you know that you live closer to him, you just never know!” she laughs trying to sound convincing. Your mom always rooted for you and Joe to be together, he was your first actually boyfriend and she was just as heartbroken when you told her you had gone separate ways. “Well thank you very much for the scoop mom but I really have to get going, I love you.” You hang up with her and flop back on the bed. I guess when you thought about it, it did make sense, Joe didn’t seem like himself last night even with the awkward situation you guys fell into. Your heart ached and you weren’t sure exactly why.

“Alright, i’m out rach!” You yell from the bottom of the stairs watching her hurry down. She hugs you tightly and smiles, “Promise me we’ll have another slumber party soon, i don’t care if we’re pushing 30!” she exclaims and you both laugh. “I promise”

You say your goodbyes and eventually you make your way to your car. You still had most of the day given it was only 11:30 and your place was only about 30 minutes away. You shuffled your playlist and began to drive. You tried to distract yourself as much as possible, thinking about plans for the week or work calls you had to make, but nothing was working. As you made your way through the city all you could think about was him. You’ve been putting on this front for so long now, trying to convince everyone in your life you were happy and doing okay. But the truth was much different and knowing Joe was in that same boat somehow brought a tear to your eye.

As you approached a light you wiped it away but they kept falling. You weren’t sure exactly why you were in the midst of a breakdown, but you figured it was a little bit of everything. You decided to pull into a parking lot and let yourself regroup. You noticed the time once again 11:45.

I’ll still be there at noon if you change your mind

God you hoped he kept his word because you were in-fact changing your mind.

You quickly reset your maps to the location he had sent you which was about 25 minutes away. Your entire body fell into autopilot on the way there. You forbid yourself to think about what you would say to him, knowing you would probably convince yourself to turn back around. Instead you focused on Rachel’s words this morning. Her unexpected declaration on happiness crept back into your mind, that’s why you were doing this, you had to keep telling yourself that.

Finally you pulled into the parking lot, hoping one of the few cars was his. He was right, this was out of the way from any public eye, it was quiet. Opening the door to the coffee shop you were greeted with a smile which you returned. You looked around with a held breath, releasing it once your eyes landed on him.

He looked up and you watched his face almost light up at the sight of you, you couldn’t help but smile. “Hey..” you say taking a seat in the booth across from him. “I didn’t think you would show up, i mean you said-”

“i know, i know, but i just had a change of mind and felt like it would be best to come talk to you, or at least hear whatever you had to say.” you finish as a woman comes to take both of your orders.

“y/n im sorry for the way i reacted yesterday. It was immature and i was just overthinking things.” he says with sorry eyes. “Joe im not upset over what happened yesterday, just confused, really confused.” you respond as you both fall into silence.

“I broke things off with Stephanie last night.” He quietly says reading you face for an expression. Your eyebrows raised, “why did you do that?” you questioned knowing that he wasn’t happy in their relationship, but wanting to ensure that was the only reason for him doing so. “I just couldn’t take it. I mean after you, i dated around a lot and i always seemed to get myself involved with someone just so i didn’t feel lonely. And you know, the first few months with her were nice, but she fell into this mindset that she was better than everyone else because she was dating me and sometimes it felt like she wasn’t even my girlfriend in private,” he takes a breath and a sip of his coffee after both of yours are set on the table. “I figured I would rather just face my fear of being alone then be with someone who didn’t actually care for me,” he shrugs, taking another sip. You had never seen Joe show so much emotion before, and you couldn’t help that feeling that once again rose within you. “I’m so sorry Joe, that’s terrible, but i’m glad you called it quits,” you smile and reach out to squeeze his hand. Instead of pulling it away, you let it rest on his for just a second, watching as his eyes look up to yours with a smile and a slight blush. You quickly retract your hand, trying but failing once again to hide your rosy cheeks.

“I want to hear more about you,” he says as he rips off the top of his muffin and pushes it towards you, knowing it was your favorite part. You smile at the gesture, “well, i don’t really know, i’m just getting settled here right now and getting used to seeing your face on every building in sight,” you say with a smile causing him to laugh. “Yeah it’s definitely crazy,” he shakes his head. “Oh cmon, just admit you kinda like the attention,” you smirk trying to get something out of him. He just shakes his head, “i promise you i would spend everyday of this off-season on my couch if i could, people are crazy, can’t even get food without being asked for a picture. That’s why I wanted to come here, i know all the staff and it’s just a bunch of oldies,” he says the last part with a whisper laugh. You smile as you lean in for a sip of your coffee. You both fall into a comfortable silence as you try to sneak a few looks at him. He looked well rested, even with his disheveled hair and mismatch sweats. You noticed he still wore all his wristbands, even gaining a few more. It was shocking how much he really hadn’t changed after all these years. “What are you thinking about?” he interrupts your train of thought noticing your observant eyes.

“I don’t know, I just think it’s funny how much your environment has changed, but you stayed the same. I guess I kind of assumed years ago that once you went to the league you would become a different person. But i guess that’s really not the case huh?” he smiles at your confession and to your surprise reaches out for your hand. “I promise i’m still the person you fell in love with years ago y/n,” he says quietly making sure your the only one who could hear. You can’t help but smile at his words. It felt like you were both silently rekindling a flame that never truly went out. “You know what you said about wiping you from my mind isn’t true Joe. If we’re being honest here, you haven’t left my mind at all these past years. I think that’s why dating was so hard in Florida, you set my standards high.” you smile at him and watch his blush deepen. “I didn’t mean to be so snappy with you, I don’t know why i got so heated,” he says making you both laugh.

“I should get going, I was hoping to make it back to Covington before three.” you give him a sad smile, truly wishing you could spend more time with him. “Yeah i’ll walk out with you,” you both make your way to your cars, which you had conveniently parked right next to his. “Listen, y/n..” you both stop behind the cars. “I get it if you’ve moved on, i mean i don’t want to put you in a bad situation. But, it would really mean the world to me if we could get together sometime, i don’t know maybe get dinner?” he scratches the back of his head, clearly nervous at the request.

You think for a moment, letting silence settle between the two of you. These last few days you’ve felt like you were reliving your college years, or at least reviving your college heart. Because in all honesty, no part of you has truly taken any step since you’ve lost Joe. In that moment you knew what was missing and why you’ve been running from the truth for so long.

You placed a hand behind Joes neck and pulled him down to you, mashing your lips into his. You feel his initial shock, but eventual excitement as he wraps his arms around your waist and deepens the kiss. The worry and confusion that had been aching through you all weekend seemingly dissipated as your lips moved together just as they did years ago. You both pull away in smiles and you laugh at Joes face of shock.

“We clearly have a lot of catching up to do Burrow,” you smirk as you look up to him, still within close proximity. “I think dinner would be nice,” you respond pushing off of his chest and making your way to the drivers door. You hear Joes giggles as he makes his way to his car. You smile to yourself, shocked at what just went down, put proud of what you were able to accept.

The ride home to Covington was much happier then the previous attempt. You notice a message from Joe pop up on your screen. Stoping at a light, you smile to yourself as you read his text.

Hope you still like sushi cause i know a great place for takeout. My place Friday at 7?

part 3 here

[cinnamonbear22]

oblivious love (c.s x reader)

chapter one

disclaimer!

yall i know they’re sober okay it’s just for the story, i have like seven chapters of this written up n i just wanted to see how one part would do so far :) i might not get everything accurate but it is just a story so don’t come for me ! plz!

tw

fem!reader, fluff, substance use

"did you want to stop anywhere else before we go?" nick turned to me as my bags were clustered together on my arms as he only had a few.

"i think im okay" i looked down at my purchases, not even remembering what i had bought within the last previous hours since i had just fully splurged without a second thought.

"i think so too" nick chuckled and pulled out his phone while we stood on the busy strip of shops and restaurants. "let me get an uber and we'll head back" he didn't look up from his phone as he spoke, his hair gently blew in the wind that had a hint of sea salt lingering behind it.

i felt exhausted. i had a busy day out with nick. we went to the beach, went shopping, ate dinner, basically spending our whole day together. but this wasn't even the most busy day i had within the last two weeks with them.

the sturniolo family and mine had grew up together for as long as i could remember, in fact, me and the triplets were only born a week or two apart. my mom and their mom were childhood best friends since seventh grade, so they had also grew up together as well. they’ve always had plans as little girls to have babies around the same time so they could through motherhood together. it was always a childhood fantasy until it had actually happened, and ever since i could recall me and the triplets have never been separated… up until they had moved out of our hometown and to los angeles. they had often come to visit, but unfortunately they were extremely busy now than ever since the fame had rapidly taken over.

but they had spoiled me and flew me out for three weeks with them after not seeing them for six months. it was an unexpected present they had sent me and watched me open it over facetime. and i'll never forget their and even my own reaction.

i was about a week and a half into my trip, and already i've been extremely spoiled and so nicely treated by them. it was nothing new, when we were younger they had always treated me like a princess and the princess treatment still carried over twenty years later.

after about five minutes our uber pulled up to the curb we were waiting at, and we carefully slid in with all of our items. we talked quietly amongst ourselves, both of us feeling extremely dreary from our long day out. "we should deliver ice cream or something" my eyes lazily scanned the crowded ice cream stand as we drove by it.

"you said you were full after dinner" nick averted his gaze from looking out his window and looked down at me, laughing softly.

"ice cream sound amazing though right?" i cocked a brow, knowing i am going to order the ice cream with or without him.

"you're right" he sighed in defeat, rubbing his mouth in a contemplative way. me and nick were always the closest out of the three. i loved them all with my entire heart, but nick was truly my best friend. we would be able to sit in silence for hours just comfortable with each other's presence, hanging out for hours on end and being able to talk about absolutely everything. "what are you going to wear to that party tomorrow?" he broke me out of my daydream as the roads became more familiar as we got closer to their home.

"i think that little black dress i bought would be nice, no?" i turned to him, sort of thinking about the idea.

"you can never go wrong with that" he agreed. "i'll wear all black with you if you end up wearing that" he offered, making me laugh a bit.

"that would be great" i said wittily, my dreary head shifted its way onto his shoulder. "i'm a little nervous for the party"

"how come?" he pursed his lips, his eyes now shifting down to connect with mine.

"well i wouldn't know anyone besides you guys" the uber stopped in front of the house so we can be let off. we politely thanked him before shuffling out, grabbing all of my bags with me.

"well, you don't need to know anyone else but us" nick reassured with a little smile as he began to punch in the gate code.

"i wouldn't want to be annoying though and just leech off of you guys the entire time" the gate opened and we started to walk through, quickly the front door swung open.

"trust me you aren't annoying anybody here (y/n)," nick continued to reassure me as my eyes watched matt slightly jog down the front porch steps and to us.

"why didn't you help her with her bags?" matt looked at nick and nick quickly defended himself from his brother.

"i tried to, but she wouldn't let me" nick locked the gate back up as matt grabbed some of the bags off my arms without even asking me.

"i could've carried them myself" i looked up at him with a smile.

"you looked like you were struggling on your way up" he didn't even look at me before taking the lead and walking back inside, me and nick following him. nick side eyed me behind matt's back with his lips curled into a scoff, making me slightly giggle.

"did you guys eat yet?" matt asked as i made my way to the guest room that was tucked away within the first floor.

"yes" i heard nicks footsteps go up the stairs and my other bags that matt was holding rustling behind me as i made my way to my room for the time being.

once i was in my room i set my bags down and sat down on the bed, watching matt set down everything else. "thank you" i reached down and began to untie my shoes, ready to get into my pajamas after the long day.

"of course" he smiled gently and looked at me for a few long seconds before speaking again. "chris was looking for you all day today" matt rubbed his eyes with a slight smile.

"really?" my brows furrowed together but i couldn't help that i was a bit excited from hearing that. the name 'chris' even has me in a chokehold. we all grew up together, we grew up the same way, we all seen each other just as frequently as the other, besides nick, who i was inevitably closer with and hungout much more one on one, but even ever since we were little kids, me and chris's bond has always been slightly different, and everyone would be able to tell that no matter who you are. but i would never let myself act on those different feelings. i never wanted the ruin the dynamic between all of us.

"mhm," matt hummed, making his way to the door. "let me know if you need anything" he shut it behind him as i stared down at my feet for a moment.

i pushed myself off my bed and made my way towards the bathroom that was connected to the guest room and began to do my nightly routine, thinking about what matt had said but not taking it too far into consideration. i put my glasses on as the last step of my routine and quickly changed out of my clothes and into my pajamas, plaid fleece bottoms and a little tank top.

i slipped on my beige slippers and grabbed my phone before heading to nicks room, but before i could even open my door three knocks startled me. "can i come in?" chris's voice was muffled on the other side of the door. i opened the door which he seemed surprised, his eyes were extremely droopy, his hair was messy, his pajama bottoms sagged slightly revealing his boxers and he didn't have a shirt on. "oh..." he took a step back. i smiled and moved out of the way, giving him entrance into my temporary bedroom. "where have you been all day?" he asked, launching himself onto my bed and instantly cuddling up in the blankets.

"i was out with nick, i told you that, but i guess it just turned into an all day thing" i turned around and looked at him, and now that he was in the light i could see his eyes were a bit pink as well. "are you only coming to me because you just smoked?" i still stood and watched him as he got comfortable.

"no, no, no" his droopy eyes quickly went wide and he sat up, "i missed you today that's all, and i just happened to smoke. coincidence"

"got it" i couldn't help but smile at him and i made my way towards the edge of the bed, keeping our distance although i felt my skin on fire. i wish that the feelings would go away, but after several years they never had.

"you got a little sunburn on your cheeks" he reached his hand up and gently brushed his thumb across my cheek.

"is it bad?" i pulled myself away from his hand and touched it with my own, feeling the slightly irritated skin. i didn't even notice it in the bathroom.

"no, not at all" his tired eyes locked with mine. "it's cute" he grinned, making me smile too. he knew what he was doing. i felt like he had known i had a crush on him, but sometimes i think he's completely oblivious to it. i am sort of hoping he's more on the oblivious side.

it wasn't unnoticed that i would get a little more nervous whenever he was around, a little more aware. with matt and nick i was fine but with chris, even though i knew i could be myself around him, i still felt a small edge.

"do you really think so" i said sarcastically and put my hand under my chin, posing my face so he could see all sides.

"i really do" he chuckled, putting his hands behind his head now as he laid back down. the soft light in my room prominently brought out his light muscle tone along his strong facial features. "what are you going to wear to the party?" he asked me, referring to tomorrow.

"i bought a little black dress today" i looked behind me at the plethora of bags scattered around my room.

"that's always a classic" he nodded, the corners of his lips upturned.

"i spent so much money..." i sighed, still looking at the bags.

"did you use my card like i told you to?" he asked, now propping himself up on his elbow.

"as guilty as i am, i did" i scratched the back of my head and looked at him, his face washed over with excitement.

"well technically..." he now had deceitful look in his eyes, making my stomach churn. "i bought all these clothes so you have to give me a haul"

"you want a haul?" i couldn't help but to giggle a bit.

"please" his icy blue eyes looked up at me as i began to stand up, sending chills through every part of my body. "especially the victoria secret bag, i want a try on haul"

"cut it out" i turned my head to him as he was smirking at his little remark. "thank you by the way, you seriously did not have to give me any money"

"i wanted to" he watched me carefully now as i picked up all the bags and set them down on the bed. "so what did you get?" he sat himself up now and leaned against the headboard. "show me the dress"

i shuffled and dug around into some bags until i found the dress, his face immediately dropped as soon as i pulled it out. "what? is it ugly?" i was taken aback from his reaction.

"no not at all" he was looking between me and the dress. "it's just that..." he hesitated before speaking making me more nervous.

"just say it! am i too big for this dress? will it not compliment me?" i started to panic now, of course my thoughts quickly spiraling. that was nothing new to me.

"no! absolutely not!" he jumped up in quick defense, still looking at the dress. "it just looks like the size of a t-shirt…" he mumbled so softly, making me laugh that all the anticipation was for nothing. "it's not funny, it's too short" he started to laugh along with me, snatching the luxurious dress away from my hands. "are you sure this says dress on it? are you sure you didn't get it in the shirt section?" he started to look at it closely now, looking at the tags and everything. "it's so silky" he started to rub it against his face like a child with a blanket. "this is silk right?"

"stop it" i took it back from him with a smile, his eyes were still somewhat in a trance on the dress. "yes it is"

"i'll have to keep an eye on you all night if you wear that" he huffed, running his fingers through his hair. "are you going to wear like," his gaze averted up to my eyes, and i held it strongly. "wear a jacket..? like one that goes to the floor and you just button it up all the way and the dress underneath it so technically you're still wearing it out"

"i'm in los angeles, i didn't think i needed a jacket" i scoffed, neatly laying the dress across the desk chair that was in the room. he looked like he was in deep thought now. he licked his lips and wiped his mouth, all of his subconscious habits coming into play. i was now standing at the foot of my bed as he looked contemplated, but i was ready to go into more of the haul.

"nick let you buy that dress? for how short it is?" his pink eyes looked me up and down making me tense.

"christopher" i snapped at him, shooting my eyes up to meet his. "it's not that short"

"what shoes are you wearing?" he asked. he crossed his arms in such a graceful manner, accentuating his chest.

"i was just going to show you" i dug into another bag and pulled out a shoe box. inside the box revealed gorgeous, sleek, simple, shiny black stiletto heels. "what do you think?"

"i think that maybe with those on you'll look a normal height" he snarked, earning glare.

"seriously?" i cocked my head to the side, challenging him to see if he'd go any further.

"sorry" he pressed his lips together to try and mask his smile. "all i know is that you're definitely going to be the center of attention"

"yeah right" i put the heels back in the box and had also set them down by my dress. "im not going to know anyone there besides you guys, ill be following you guys around like a lost puppy" i retorted, moving some of the bags aside on my bed and sitting back down.

"there's no issue with that" he seemed a bit relieved taking in the fact that i would be near him all night. "i would be glad to accompany you to this party" he bowed his head like a prince would and spoke in an extremely formal accent, earning a small laugh. "i'll wear all black too"

"i think nick already is" i remembered him saying something about that in the uber.

"but i want to match with you though" he slightly whined and pouted like a child.

"well that has to be arranged between you guys" i put my hands up in defense and his eyes seemed to drift from mine and fixate my chest area. "what are you doing?" i covered my chest with my hands, watching his eyes carefully.

"i was looking at your necklace" he scoffed, and i quickly set my arms back down.

"oh" i giggled lightly and scooted a bit closer to him. "do you like it?" i asked him as his fingers gently brushed against my chest, and he held the small gold lion pendant.

"i do" he looked up softly at me. "did your boyfriend back at home get it for you?"

"you're such a dick" i slapped his arm away and a smile slowly crept up on his face. "me and that guy dated for a month, he cheated on me anyway, you know this..." i felt humiliated. "why do you still tease me for it?"

"because i told you he was a walking red flag" chris leaned back against the headboard, crossing his arms like how he had them before.

"please forgive me for being young and naive" i said in a snide tone, shaking my head. "what about you?" i asked him with a stern tone.

"what?" he cocked a brow.

"have you been with anyone within the last two years?" i asked him, sort of hoping the answer would only go one way.

"absolutely not" he shook his head, still holding eye contact with me. "(y/n) you would've known"

"well," i placed my hands in my lap. "do you have any interest in anyone? you've had to have met so many people in l.a."

"why are you asking me these questions?" his face began to hue a pink, just like his eyes. it gave me a small ego boost, seeing that i could also make him nervous.

"what? you can bust my balls all you want but i can't?" i teased him and he bit his lip nervously.

"she's going to be at the party tomorrow" he said, making my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach. i always set myself up to self sabotage, but it's better for me to find out from him than anyone else.

"yeah?" i kept a smile on my face, staying strong.

"mhm" he hummed, licking his lips and keeping his gaze in my eyes. a small bit of tension built up in the room and i felt like it was my fault.

"then you better not match with me because she might take it the wrong way" i anxiously began to fidget with the rings on my fingers.

"no, she better like it" he quickly came back making me a little confused but still a bit dejected.

"you're bold christopher" i slightly tilted my head to the side, taking in his dominate tone.

"i really wish i was" he sighed and stared at me with a slight look of regret in his eyes. it was a little off putting since it was hard to read him in this moment, the tension now flooded the room and it felt like i was drowning in it.

"then why aren't you?" i pushed him a little further.

"because i'm scared" he still looked strongly at me.

"scared of what?" my fingers made their way back to fidgeting with my rings. the vibe in this room was so off putting yet i still feel extremely relaxed with chris.

"rejection" his eyes became even more droopier as he spoke. "commitment"

"chris you know you could have any girl that you want" i couldn't help but to laugh a tiny bit, chris, scared of rejection? seriously? i understand commitment, he's always had an issue with that.

"there's only one i want" he held his pointer finger up in my face, indicating the number one.

"well," i softly pushed his large hand away from my face, but he ended up resting it in my lap on top of my hands lazily. "why not make your move at the party tomorrow? you said she'd be there right?" his hand started to feel all the rings on my finger, sending shivers down my spine with how gentle he's being.

"i will" he stared at our hands mingling, looking deep in thought. "you mess with your rings a lot, even the other day in the restaurant when you were ordering when we all went out to eat"

"i guess it's a nervous habit" i tried to pull my hand out of his soft grip, but he harshly grabbed it back.

"i wasn't done looking yet" he didn't even look up at me, just softly held my hands with his one.

"i think you're just trying to hold my hands" i grinned and looked up at him, and his eyes returned back to mine.

"so what?" his head lazily tilted to the side. "is it okay?" i nodded and watched his every move. "just like when we were younger" he chuckled to himself.

"i know" i sighed, laughing at the memories. "you did not let go of my hand when you were a toddler" he reached his other hand over now and started to play with both my hands. "i was dragged along everywhere with you"

"you wear so many rings" he held up my wrist to his face, inevitably pulling me in closer to him. "you don't like being dragged along with me?" his voice became tired now, but it was even more attractive.

"what more could i want in life?" i retorted, earning a small, sleepy evil eye from him. "you look so tired"

"im tired of you" he said scornfully, causing me to withdraw my hands from him and lean back with fake shock.

"you're extremely sassy tonight" i gave him a fake sad look and his face softened.

"i didn't mean it, come on" he quickly reached over and grabbed my arm, yanking me towards him and quickly engulfing me into a big hug. "you know you're my favorite person" he mumbled into my hair as i laughed at the sudden movements, being a bit taken back.

"you're my favorite boy ever" i told him, and i couldn't help but to wrap my arms around him as well. i was so happy to be in l.a. with all of them again. ever since they've been moving around back and forth i always felt a little empty without them in my hometown. i know that they were always one call away, but it would never be the same than me riding my bike to their house like i did when i was young, knowing i could go to them whenever i needed to.

"what about nick?" chris didn't let me go, but i wasn't upset about it. his hugs were always my favorite.

"that's our secret then" i pulled away from him as his arms still lingered around my middle, and we sat there just staring at each other for a moment.

"can we have a sleepover?" he asked, excitement filled his tired eyes.

"i guess" i laughed a little, my hands subconsciously rubbed his arm that was resting on me. ever since we were children chris has always been touchy with me, never in a weird way, so i never really accounted on that for a yes or no confirmation if he had similar feelings for me or not.

"hooray" he geek-ily smiled at me, earning a little laugh. "we haven't had a sleepover since sixth grade"

"i don't know what you're talking about, i was practically at your house every weekend in high school sleeping over" i cocked my brow, taking my hand away from his arm.

"yeah but you were always with nick" he rubbed his eyes with one of his hands, the other still loosely holding me.

"we're you jealous?" i teased him, but he just rolled his eyes.

"really?" he said in a dull tone, his eyes looking like they were trying to fight awake.

"i'm teasing you" i couldn't help but to feel the sleepiness as well.

"tell me about it" he groaned, covering his eyes with both his hands now and he looked up at the ceiling.

i giggled a little and swung my legs over the mattress, and started to move off all the rest of my bags off the bed that i hadn't shown him yet. "aren't you going to show me everything?"

"tomorrow, i'm tired" i set down all my bags on the floor and tossed him the television remote. "turn something on" he caught it with ease and i made my way to the light switch.

the only light that filled the room now was the t.v. and the moon spilling in from outside. it was such a calming scene, especially with chris in the room. as nervous as he made me he will always, always put me at ease.

i crawled into my bed, keeping as much distance as i could from chris. i didn't want to seem like i was pushing it at all, or annoying him in anyway. i pulled the blanket up to my chin, tucking myself in next time him, grabbing hold of the teddy bear that was gifted to me several years ago from the triplets and hugging it to my chest. "you still have that?" chris's groggy voice was close to me now.

"of course" my eyes focused on the t.v., seeing he had put on some movie. i wasn't sure what it was though. i was too tired to care right now.

"you took it with you on your trip?" he still sat up against the headboard, slouching a little as he looked down at me.

"it's like my security blanket" i looked up at him, his face being dimly lit by the television.

"awe that's adorable" he cooed at me, a slight pout formed on my lips. "why don't you hold me like that?" at this point he had to be taunting me.

"i don't think you're a teddy bear" my fingers laced in the teddy bears slightly matted fur.

"let me me be your teddy bear" he sang to me in his sleepy voice, referring to the elvis song.

"oh my goodness" my face was flush, but im sure the sunburn covered it up.

"please" he begged, pouting his lip out and widening his eyes like a puppy. i knew he was just high, and he probably wouldn't mention any of this in the morning, but it was also just how our dynamic worked.

"c'mere" i set my teddy aside freeing the space and opened up my arms to welcome him.

"yes" he said joyful to himself, quickly shifting himself on top of me. i grunted a little at the weight, since he plopped himself on me without any hesitation.

i wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him slightly as he got comfortable with his head on my chest. his fluffy hair tickled my face and i gently pushed it away with my fingers. "you're such a baby" my fingertips softly traced along his back, my eyes shifted to the screen.

"remember in middle school at that one little party we went to" he murmured into my skin, his hot breath against me made my hair standup.

"not really" one of my hands began to play with his soft hair. "that was so long ago, how do you even remember middle school"

"i don't know" he mumbled.

"why?" i was talking softly now.

"i remember it was the first girl-boy party we ever went to and how exciting it was" he rambled with slurred words here and there. "and we played spin the bottle remember?"

"sort of..?" i tried to dig deep into the memory but it wasn't really anywhere to be found.

"it was your turn and you were so nervous" he chuckled lowly, but i was still confused to the point he was trying to make. "but it landed on me"

the embarrassing memory instantly came back.

"oh god" i sighed, rolling my eyes a little at the story. "why are bringing this up?"

"i don't know i just remembered it" i could tell he was lying. i didn't want to push the conversation further. "was i a bad kisser? is that why you don't remember?"

"christopher..!" i whisper yelled at him, taking my hands out of his hair and off him and tried to push his shoulders off me but he didn't budge. he probably had felt the heat radiating off my body from how embarrassed i was.

"what?" he chuckled slightly at my reaction, resisting to move off of me. "put your hand back in my hair please" he mumbled but i didn't listen to him. "please, it feels so good" he whined wearily, my heart began to pick up at the choice of words he used. "remember when you used to do my hair as a kid"

"why do you remember so much?" i put my hands back in his hair, softly pressing my nails into his scalp and lacing my fingers through his locks.

"god, i don't know but i just love this feeling" he groaned, nestling more in my chest. "i missed you" he blurted out, his eyes shut all the way now. he talks so much, i wouldn't doubt that he sleep-talks as well. but i never ever minded it. the way he could change the subject and talk to people and never make it awkward was just such a strong quality of his. "i miss being at home and you're so close to me-" he cut himself off quickly. "well i meant us"

"i missed you too chris" i let my eyes fall since they were fighting to stay awake at this point. "a lot"

he continued to talk, but it was hard for me to process what he was saying. he was slurring and mumbling, and i was drifting in and out of consciousness, responding to him with only 'mhm's and 'yeah's. but his voice was lulling me to sleep, so i didn't mind. i would never mind moments like this.

[wileys-russo]

Hey first off I love your fics and I was wondering if we could get a head over (tar) heels ticket x

head over (tar) heels ficlet

"ahh so you found your lady balls then less?" lois grinned wolfishly as lotte nudged the girl and sent her a disapproving look. "what? she did!" lois defended, alessia rolling her eyes as the three of them jogged around the pitch for warm ups.

"yes i found my lady balls and kissed her, thank you for that lojo." alessia sighed as lois nodded happily stating she was welcome. "anyway! so then what happened?" lotte redirected, the three of them speeding up at the coaches request.

"well i asked her on a date...tonight." alessia admitted nervously, both girls beside her whipping their heads around to stare at her in disbelief. "tonight! where? when? what?" lois spluttered out in shock.

"so you weren't even going to admit you liked her yesterday, and now you've kissed her, admitted your feelings and asked her on a date? you're working fast here less." lotte laughed as the blonde groaned.

"don't remind me."

~

"hello you! you look lovely." you beamed at alessia, standing up from the bench you'd both agreed to meet on outside your dorm building, both too aware of the lingering nosy eyes of the student body that would follow if either one of you picked the other up from their rooms.

"and you look beautiful." alessia smiled, eyes roaming you up and down taking you in properly as the two of you started to walk off campus. again wanting to avoid the rumor mill alessia had booked the two of you a table at a local restaurant in town.

the conversation flowed like normal as you sat pressed together in the back of the uber, no different than any other time the two of you would be hanging out.

though once you reached the restaurant and sat down together, the reality of the situation dawned on alessia and suddenly things weren't as they seemed.

normally the blonde was confident and sure of herself, and though she could be soft spoken at times most of the time you spent with her she was doing anything and everything she could to make you laugh or smile, two things of which were her favorite to see and hear.

but tonight there was a different energy and as you rambled away like normal alessia found herself stumbling over her words, developing a stutter that hadn't surfaced she was about seven years old, finding herself overthinking everything and anything she said and did.

you tried to ease her through it and pretend like you didn't notice, making every effort you could to try and settle her, asking simple questions and being the one to make jokes for once to try and get her to relax.

though when that didn't work and the poor girl knocked over her full coke onto the table, face flushing bright red and stammering out an apology, shooting to her feet and trying her best to mop it up with napkins.

you assured her it was fine and tried to speak up again but as the waitress arrived the footballer excused herself and rushed off to the bathroom. you watched her go with an empathetic frown, waving the waitress back and asking if you could both grab your food to go instead.

"less? can i come in?" you spoke up quietly and knocked on the bathroom, a beat of silence passing before you heard it unlock and you gently pushed the door open stepping inside.

"hey. whats wrong?" you asked with a concerned frown, alessia sighing as she splashed a little water on her neck and straightened up. "i don't know!" the taller girl groaned hiding her face in her hands which was still blushed rosy pink.

"alessia." you smiled, grabbing her hands and gently tugging them away, interlocking your fingers and squeezing.

"we've been for dinner here like ten times. maybe not as a date but still sometimes it was just us and it was fine. you need to get out of your own head, just because this is a first date doesn't mean we have to go through the whole nervous awkward small talk thing." you teased lightly as she cracked a smile.

"i grabbed our food to go. how about we just go back and eat somewhere on campus, no fancy location, no awkwardness, no tables to spill a drink on!" you grinned as the blonde pouted and mumbled to stop being mean.

leaving her behind to actually use the toilet you grabbed the bags of food and waited for her outside, the tall blonde joining you and finally appearing much more like her normal self as the two of you went for a walk.

finding a park nearby you sat down on a picnic table and began to unpack the food, the conversation flowing like normal as alessia seemed to feel much more herself now the setting was a little less formal.

your food finished and rubbish discarded the two of you were laid down atop the picnic table watching the clouds as the sun set, the warm weather meaning the sun was still up and the days were longer which was one of your favourite times of year.

"that one looks like a rabbit!" alessia pointed out as you laughed. "i don't know what sort of rabbits you have in england but they're not like american ones." you teased as her shoulder bumped into yours.

"do you think they see the same clouds in england as the ones here?" you commented with a slight frown. "well its night time there right now so.." alessia trailed off with an amused smile. "thats not what i meant and you know it!" you smacked her lightly as the girl grabbed your hand, sliding her fingers in between yours.

"very smooth russo." you teased, leaning over to kiss her cheek and looking back up to the sky above.

"oh that one looks like a football! you pointed out another cloud, glancing up in surprise as alessia now hovered above you with a grin. "what? it does, doesn't it?" you frowned in confusion as the blonde shook her head.

"you said football instead of soccer ball and i didn't even need to correct you, i'm rubbing off on you!" alessia beamed proudly as you groaned and she flopped back down beside you wiggling happily.

"don't get used to it." you shook your head withholding a smile. the cloud replaced by stars quite quickly though it wasn't completely dark the two of you hopped down and raced over to the playground.

"go on, i'll push you." alessia challenged nodding to the swings as you sat down and grabbed on tightly. "okay high enough less." you laughed as the footballer continued to step back and back. "alessia!" you shrieked as she lifted you even higher, toned arms held well above her head.

"oh my-" you yelled as she let go and pushed at your back, the swing flying wildly as you clutched on tightly and the english girls laugh echoed around the park and she pushed you somehow even higher.

"okay enough!" you warned with a laugh as she gave you one final shove and jogged around toward the front. "jump off." the striker grinned as you gave her a look of disbelief. "i'll catch you i promise, go!" alessia laughed opening her arms as you took a deep breath and launched off.

your body hurtled into hers a lot faster than she expected as to her promise she caught you, your legs wrapping around her hips but with the force in which you collided she stumbled backwards and fell with you landing on top of her.

"see! i caught you." the blonde groaned as you collapsed into her laughing, face pressed into her neck as her arms moved to hug you tightly. "i think the ground caught us actually." you teased, pulling yourself up slightly as you looked down at her.

it would seem words weren't needed as your eyes stayed locked and you started to lean down as alessia pushed herself up, your lips connecting as her hand moved to gently grip the back of your neck, deepening the kiss further.

"hey you two get off the ground and get out of there, thats for children!"

[cuttergauthier]

New Leaf | One

Au Summary: In which a hockey sister falls for her enemy who also happens to be her brother's new teammate.  Yn Matthews and Matthew Knies never got along, what happens when Matthew becomes a Maple Leaf.

Matthew Knies x Matthews au

ONE | TWO | THREE | FOUR | FIVE | SIX | SEVEN

Social Media | Real Life

National Hockey League | Toronto Maple Leaf

Word Count: 1.3k 

Au's Masterlist

Warning: This Story will contain Mature Language, Alcohol consumption, Against, fluff, Time jumps

I’ve been living in Toronto for the past two years. I’m a sophomore at the University of Toronto.

My older brother Auston plays for the Toronto Maple Leafs. When he first moved to Toronto, I missed him a lot so I decided to apply to Toronto. When I got excepted Auston was excited to be close to me again. Even though he’s 5 years older than me I’ve always been closer to him.

My first year here I lived in a dorm room, this year I wanted to live on my own so my brother helped me find an apartment where I could afford on my own even though he argued about it, I never want to have to depend on my brother for his money, even though he keeps saying he doesn’t care, but when I told him I wanted to pay for my own place he agree after about a month as long the apartment was in a safe neighbourhood.

This morning my brother called me after I got out of class to ask if I wanted to go watch their practice. I had nothing to do so I said yes.

The guys have been like my brothers since the moment I met them all, they always have my back. Auston said that Steph was going to be there, she’s Mitch’s Fiancé, she is the wag who I’ve always been the closest with since the day I met her, she became like an older sister to me. I tell her everything, if I ever need advice, she’s the one I talk to.

I took an uber to the arena since Steph and I always go out for coffee after we do this. I finally arrived at the arena and made my way to the stands to meet Steph.

When she saw me she smiled, she pulled me in a hug.

“It’s so good to see you, I miss you” she said, I chuckled.

“You literally saw me two days ago” I said

“I know but I still missed you”

“I missed you to”

We sat down and started talking, the guys aren’t on the ice yet.

“You’re going to see the new rookie today,” she said smiling.

“New rookie?” I asked confused

“Yeah, his college season just ended so the leafs signed him”

“Oh nice”

“According to Mitch, he’s really good and he’s your age,” she said, smirking.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“well you are single”

“Oh shut up” I said laughing.

“He’s number 23” she said as the boys started to get on the ice.

I looked up and saw who she was talking about, he looks familiar.

“What’s his name?”

“Um I think Mitch said Matt Knies” she said

I whipped my head around and looked at her with wide eyes.

“WHAT!?” I whispered.

Her eyes widened.

“Yeah, why?”

“Because I know him, why did the leafs have to sign him?” I sighed.

“What’s wrong with him? according to Mitch he’s really good.”

“I know he is… he’s from Arizona, we have the same friends back home, we went to the same high school but we never got along.”

“Omg really? Does your brother know about this?” she asked

“He might I don’t know, I never mentioned him before, really i’m closer with the doan’s and knies’ brother Phil”

“Well maybe it’s a sign for you guys to finally get along since you’re both in the same city again” she said smiling.

“I hope because if not, being in Toronto is going to feel like hell”

“It will be fine, don’t worry, and I’m sure if he says or does something, your brother and the guys will have your back” she said smiling. I gave her a soft smile.

We continued watching practice, once it was over the guys started making there way off the ice, Mich, Auston and matthew are standing by the bench talking. Mitch turned our way and waved happily, he might be 26 but he acts like a kid sometimes. Steph and I waved back chuckling. Both Auston and Matthew looked our way, Matthew looked straight at me shocked, his jaw dropped. He regained his composure before my brother or Mitch noticed.

Once they got off the ice, Steph looked at me smirking.

“What?”

“He definitely noticed you” she said, chuckling.

“Shut up” I scoffed.

We made our way out of the arena and to Steph’s car. Steph started Driver to (Your Favorite coffee place). Once we got there we both ordered our coffees and sat down at a table closest to the window.

Steph looked at me and smiled.

“What now?” i asked chuckling.

“What is it between you and Matthew that you don’t get along?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. We’ve been going to the same school since we were kids, we both had the same friends like I said, I was close with Gracie Doan while her brother was close with Matthew, as we grew up, we all became like a group all of us along with Matthew’s older brother. He’s just been a jerk to me since middle school, it never changed” I told her honestly.

“Have you ever thought that maybe he has a crush on you? I mean that’s usually what kids do when they have a crush” she said.

I scoffed.

“There’s no way Matthew ever had a crush on me.”

“You never know Yn, what about you, have you ever had a crush on him?” she asked curiously. I laughed.

“Obviously, i’m not blind, he's good looking steph” i said smiling, too bad he’s a jerk when it comes to me. Steph smiled before taking a drink of her coffee.

“Well, let’s hope something good comes from him being in toronto and being your brother’s teammate.” she said

“Same but i doubt it’ll end with us getting together steph”

“Never say never Yn” she said smirking. I shock my head in disbelief.

“Yeah, yeah whatever” i said and she laughed.

“Moving on, how are your classes? Are you almost done?” she asked

“Yeah, i only have one exam left then year 2 will be over” i said smiling.

“I’m glad”

Steph dropped me off at my apartment. It’s now noon, I took my school stuff out of my bag so I could study a little for my exam.

I studied for about an hour before taking a break. I went on my phone and texted Phil, Matthew’s brother, he’s one of my closest friends.

Yn: Why couldn’t you have warned me that your brother signed?!?!

Phil: Thought it would be a good surprise 🤪

Yn: I hate you so much right now!

Phil: No you don’t!

Phil: Did you see him?

Yn: Yes! I went to watch practice earlier with Steph, she’s the one who told me, then I saw him!

Phil: Sorry Yn :/ Did he see you?

Yn: Yes and he was shocked!

Phil: You two are going to have to get a long sometime!

Yn: You know damn well that won’t happen anytime soon!

Phil: Let me dream!

Yn: 😂

Phil: I’ll see you in a few days, we're coming down to Toronto For his NHL debut! (Pretend His debut was in Toronto)

Yn: At least i get to see you and your parents!

[ash5monster01]

Learning to Love Part 4

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x FemReader!PlusSize

Warnings: 18+, langauge, angst, fluff, mentions of bullying, body image issues, fat shaming, fake relationship, eventual smut, minor enemies to lovers trope.

Summary: It's not uncommon for you to be shamed for your size, it is however uncommon to be told that no one would ever date you because of it. Rafe on the other hand is used to being called a jerk, that is until he is accused of seeing people for only what's on the surface. It's purely coicidental you two meet right after these accusations are thrown your way. So even though you two don't know each other, and probably never would've looked the others way before this, now you're both going to prove a point. It's simple really, prove others wrong and don't fall in love. Easier said than done.

word count: 2.5k

Part 3 ←→ Part 5

Masterlist

You’re awoken to the bright island sun shining in your eyes. You can tell your hungover by the way it aches through your whole body. You don’t panic until you realize the open curtains aren’t the same shade as your own. You didn’t go home last night. Frantically sitting up you find your red dress has been abandoned by your bra on the ground. When you look down you find you’re wearing Rafe’s undershirt and the black spandex you had worn under your dress last night. The material is stretched tightly over your chest and the idea of Rafe seeing you like this sends you in a panic. Your eyes flick beside you to see the boys bare back as he sleeps peacefully on the pillow. He’s so perfect but you don’t have time to care as you free yourself of the covers and move to change back into your dress.

You don’t realize the movement has woken Rafe but he stays quiet because right in front of him you’re grabbing at the ends of his shirt and lifting it from your head. It takes everything not to make a noise as your breasts are freed from the fabric. He wants to give you privacy, he really does, but he can’t turn away. Not with the way your nipples harden in the cool room air. So he swallows and watches as you grab your bra and try to confine yourself once again. It’s when you have your dress pulled back up your torso he closes his eyes and prays you didn’t notice him watching. The last thing he would need is that kind of humiliation and you being upset with him for perving on you.

“Shit, my phone” he heard you starting to shuffle through things in the room, more than likely in search of his own pants that he had carried your phone and ID in all night.

“Everything okay?” his deep morning voice makes you freeze, parts of your body tingling just from those two words.

“Your pants, I need my phone. Mila is probably freaking out” you tell him as calmly as you can, having absolutely no idea what kind of wreck you look like at the moment.

“By the door I think, I don’t know. A lot of things are blurry about last night” he rolls over and his bare torso now being revealed to sober you has your knees going week. You have to get out of here. He watches as you dive towards the door, finding the grey slacks and digging deep into the pockets and finding your phone. He doesn’t miss the way you double check your ID is still stuck in your case before checking the notifications. You sat there perfectly on your knees and he wishes more than anything last night had ended with you just like that in front of him.

“God she’s pissed” you say to no one in particular as you glance at the mountain of messages on your phone.

Mila 💜

“What, not common for you to partake in a one night stand?” the glare you send his way is enough to shut him up.

“Look, I’m just gonna grab an uber and make sure she didn’t send out a search party for me” you tell him and Rafe pouts at the mention of you leaving. You don’t have time to care as you shoot a text back to Mila

Mila 💜

When you roll your eyes at the message on your phone Rafe finds himself wanting to know exactly what it said. Before he can ask you’re standing up and walking to the bathroom, flicking the lights on and gasping at your reflection in the mirror. The pool water had run your makeup under your eyes and your lipstick was smeared for what you hope was other reasons than kissing Rafe. As you try wash your face as best you can with the water and hotel soap you try to recollect everything that happened last night. You remember Levi, AJ, going drink for drink with Rafe, the swimming in the pool, but everything else was extremely blurry.

“Don’t get an uber, I’ll give you a ride” Rafe says and you sigh but allow him to anyway. He collects his own clothing from around the room, placing it all back on as best he could without looking like he had a last minute hookup. It didn’t matter, you’d both look crazy walking out of here.

You join him after only a moment, tying your hair on top of your head with the elastic band you had on your wrist. By no means do you look as perfect as last night but this would just have to do. Rafe smiles softly at you, collecting his phone, wallet, and keys from the nightstand. “Ready?”

“Sure” you say as you head towards the door and Rafe is right behind you when you swing it open. Just your luck the door across the hall from your own swings open to reveal a still perfect looking AJ followed by Levi doing the buttons to his own shirt from last night. “Great”

“Morning” Levi grins at you both and it takes everything for you to not roll your eyes.

“I’m going to the car” you tell Rafe and he nods as you do your best to escape this awkward encounter, heels dangling from your hands.

“What happened? She couldn’t finish or you?” Levi teases and Rafe knows he’s meaning Rafe couldn’t finish due to you being unattractive which isn’t true. He had practically finished last night just lightly grinding on you in the pool but since you didn’t seem to remember he wasn’t going to be one to bring it up.

“Shut the fuck up Levi” Rafe says before spotting AJ who looks embarrassed to even be caught with the exact man in particular. “Don’t forget work place romances are highly discouraged”

“I’ll have the report on your desk Monday” AJ gets out meekly and Rafe gives them both a stern look before stomping down the hallway and after his own girl who had been humiliated one too many times this morning.

He finds you in the lobby, waiting for him to join you, and based on the sad look you wear on your face he officially feels bad. Lacing his fingers through your own he gives the softest smile he can muster as you look at him with ready eyes that are a mix of humiliation and hangover. “I’m sorry”

“It’s okay, I just want to get home” you tell him and he nods as he leads you both to the door. The walk to his truck isn’t long and thankfully the ride to your apartment isn’t either. When he puts the car in park he see’s you staring at the windows inside. That’s where he see’s Mila with a slightly annoyed expression but not tearing her eyes from either of you.

“She’s watching” he says and you chuckle, turning to look back at him.

“She’s mad I scared her but she told me she wouldn’t be if it meant I hooked up with you” you tell him and Rafe chuckles before taking another glance at the brunette girl who watched you both in the window.

“We better give her a reason not to be mad then” he says and you swallow the nerves away as he leans over, hand curling around you neck, the tips of his fingers sliding through your hair. When his lips meet your own you sigh into it and allow him to kiss you like a boy should kiss a girl. It’s when his tongue slips inside your mouth you squeak in surprise and it has Rafe grinning against your mouth. After curling his tongue with your own he breaks free, that signature smirk back on your face.

“I’ll see you” you tell him and he nods like it’s already a confirmation for tomorrow or even later.

“Bye” he grins because you look like a girl who was just kissed dizzy and he was proud to be the one to do that. When your outside of the car and looking back at your apartment you’re met with Mila still looking out the window but instead of an annoyed expression she wears a proud one because she just watched you get kissed and get kissed good. So you ascent on the walk of shame but you still wear a smile because you’re pretty sure you’ve never quite been kissed like that.

“So that is why you didn’t come home last night” she smirks the minute you’re through the door and you’re rolling your eyes as you drop your shoes next to the others on the ground.

“I can talk about this once I’ve showered, brushed my teeth, and have had the greasiest breakfast possible” you tell her and she laughs, seeing the hangover, and slight hickey on your neck that you truly have no idea about.

“I’ll work on breakfast while you shower but then you have to give me all the juicy details” she says and you agree but only because a shower sounds like actual heaven on earth. So you pour yourself a large glass of water that accompanies you to the bathroom where you can start the road to recovery.

It’s only thirty minutes later you’re sitting in the kitchen, now fresh and clean, damp hair hanging over your shoulders as you devour the pancakes and bacon Mila had whipped up. While finishing your third glass of water. After finally getting a better look at yourself in the mirror you decided it’s safe to not drink so much in front of Rafe again, especially since most of the night still hadn’t come back to you yet. You didn’t even recall leaving the pool and going to the hotel room. “I’m still waiting”

“I’m recovering” you tell the girl but you know you can’t hold out on her for much longer so you sigh and drop your fork. “I spent the night with him”

“And?” she urges on and you shake your head, grabbing a napkin to wipe the syrup from around your mouth.

“We went to his work event, had one too many drinks, we couldn’t drive, so we decided to get a room. I wanted to swim so we went to the pool, and then we went to the room and slept” the pointed look she gives you says she doesn’t believe that was all that happened and you knew you’d have to give her something other than sleeping and swimming.

“Fine, we made out in the pool and things got a little heated. So we went back to the room and he touched me, I touched him, we didn’t go all the way, and then we slept” it’s a lie, majority of it. You just need to give her something so she wouldn’t be so on top of things.

“How big is he?” the question has you almost spluttering your water out of your mouth and she giggles at the deep blush you wear on your cheeks from this whole conversation. Yet the sentence does flash the memory of those tight black boxers he wore and exactly how big the package underneath looked, and that was soft.

“Big, I don’t know. I didn’t measure” she giggles like a girl who was just given the best gossip of her life and you can only smile at your one true best friend. The amount of boyfriends she goes through in a month is five times the amount you do in a year but nonetheless you two still loved each other.

“Gosh, I have no idea what has gotten into you” she tells you with a grin and the deep red blush you wear makes her smile somehow even wider.

“I have no idea what you mean” you tell her but you do. You’re not the kind of girl who has sleepovers with boys, especially after a week. You’re also not the kind of girl to even date all that often. You usually assume the worst of most men and the ones you do let get close you never let this close. Rafe had his tongue down your throat almost an hour ago and Mila had watched. You were different and both of you knew it.

“Yeah you do, you’re finally allowing yourself to be loved. I’m so happy for you” and this breaks your heart because if only she knew it was fake. That you and Rafe were just friend with some strange agreement between the two of you. “Did he see you naked?”

This is a loaded question. One you know she asks because whatever your answer is tells her everything she needs to know about how much you trust him. You still wouldn’t undress in front of her so if Rafe had seen you, in your purest and most vulnerable form she would know it’s real. At least real for you. “Topless, I’m not quite ready for that”

“That’s good, it’s a start” she says with a nod and you wish it wasn’t a lie. That Rafe really had seen you topless and you were okay with it. Okay with him seeing the stretch marks under your breasts and the small rolls under each arm. You may have a large chest but that comes with big girl territory. Not the kind of big chest a boy wants to see. Hence why you could never let Rafe see because the idea of you disgusting him would break your heart. Boy how you are wrong.

“I guess” you tell her and she smiles as she pours herself another cup of coffee.

“Well I better get ready for work, wouldn’t want my boss to fire me” she winks at you and the roll of your eyes has her giggling as she retreats down the hallway and into her room. It’s then your phone dings and takes away your attention.

Rafe

Your stomach flutters at the sentiment and you wished so badly it was a romantic gesture. Yet you knew it was only because you two had become close. Had shared personal things with the other because what you were doing revealed the most vulnerable sides of you. You can’t fake date someone you don’t trust. To bad trust for you meant falling in love.

Rafe

You were so screwed.

a/n: for some reason some of my tags won’t link your accounts, if you spot I have something spelled wrong and that’s why it’s not tagging you, please let me know!

Taglist: @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @fishingirl12 @houseofperfecttaste @abbybarnesstuff @carma-fanficaddict @jjmaybankisbae @exhaustedbutelated @diagnosedpsychosis @daivny @drewstarkeygf @vinniehackersbaee @emsgoodthinkin @apollo3475 @https-urwife @willowalexissss @kisstaya @hcneyedsstuff @lexiereblogs @drewsuncrustables @mveggieburger @marvel4life3000 @bibliophilewednesday @humungouspatrolwolf @ijustwanttoreadlols @jaijustreads @sleepjam @dilvcv @aaronhotchswife

Comment if you want to be added to the tag list :))

[huggybearluvr]

If I Could Fly || J.D

!! A Part of the 30 days of music series !!

Series Masterlist

Synopsis: After Jamie got drafted to the Flyers you were both missing the other more than ever. You would have left with him if it weren't for your classes. However, after a late night phone call with Jamie, you drop everything and go to him without a second thought.

The song links:

Apple music || Spotify || Youtube

Jamie had been gone for nearly three weeks now. You couldn't help but feel lonely as you sat in the once shared apartment.

It was nearing 9 in California, so you knew calling Jamie was not an option. It was almost midnight on the east coast.

You sat on the couch watching one of your favorite movies to hopefully distract yourself.

About thirty minutes later a familiar ringtone buzzed from you phone. you were quick to pick it up answering the call.

"Jamie? everything okay?" you asked into the phone.

"Not really," He said trailing off.

"Baby, what's wrong?" You asked now sitting up.

"I just miss you so much, I can't sleep at all," He said softly.

"I know baby, I miss you too," You spoke truthfully, "I wish I could be there."

"I do too," He said.

"Its late baby, go to bed, you have a big game tomorrow against the red wings."

"Alright, I love you," Jamie said smiling into the phone.

"I love you too."

"I'm missing half of me when we're apart"

After the call ended you couldn't help but think about going to Jamie. At around 11 you decided you couldn't just sit here.

You practically sprinted to your room. Grabbing your laptop and emailing your academic advisor, letting them know you would be needing to transfer schools and would like to finish this semester online.

Once your emails were sent you booked a flight to Phili.

You packed up as much as you could in two suit cases and texted Trevor to come over.

As you sat in the living room bags packed you felt more relaxed then you ever have before.

You knew you would be coming back during the summer to finish your moving but for now these two suitcases would be more than enough.

You heard a knock at the door and quickly got up to answer it. As you pulled the door open you saw a half awake Trevor standing there.

"y/n it's midnight, what was so important I had to come over?" He said rubbing at his eyes.

"I need a ride to the airport, and here is the keys your gonna have to check in here once a week til im back to move everything," You spoke quickly.

"Wait what where are you even going?" Trevor said taking the key from you.

"Im moving to Phili."

Trevor couldn't help but smile. He was happy his best friend had someone like you in his life.

"Let's go then," Trevor spoke picking up one of your bags and following you out to his car.

-

You landed in Phili calling an uber to take you to Jamie's apartment. You texted his neighbor carter letting him know you would be at the stadium within the hour.

Carter, Jamies Goalie and Neighbor had agreed to leave a key to his place outside the door so you could leave your stuff there to make it to the game on time. He also agreed to get you a media pass so you would be able to surprise Jamie.

After you dropped your stuff off you headed straight to the Arena. You got in through the back and quickly made your way to your seat. You opted for a pretty bad seat but you didn't want Jamie to see you.

-

The Flyers had won the game against the wings and you were more than ready to run down and see your boyfriend.

You quickly made your way to the ice, walking to the locker rooms. You stood outside of the locker room.

Many teammates walked by giving you an odd look as they had no idea who you were.

Carter came out and sent a smile your way, as you handed him the key to his apartment," Thank you so much for helping me."

"I did this for the kid but, your welcome," He said with a laugh," I'll see you both later."

You stood a little longer, Jamie was the last one out.

He walked out of the locker room, with wet hair and you swear he's never looked so good. His eyes were stuck on his phone.

You picked up your phone calling him. He answered.

"Look up, idiot," You said before hanging up.

Jamies eyes met yours, you both felt butterflies as the world around you froze. You practically ran to Jamie engulfing him in a much needed hug.

"I can feel your heart inside of mine"

"Is this real? how are you here?" He said pulling away to look at you.

"I'm moving here," You smiled leaning up to kiss him.

"baby, you have school," He said, once he pulled away hesitantly.

"I'm transferring, I couldn't be away from you any more," You spoke softly," I already talked to my advisor, Trev's gonna keep an eye on my place til we can move the rest, and for now my suitcases are at Carters."

"I love you so much," Jamie said as he awed at not only your physical beauty but how perfect you were for him. He truly thought that he wouldn't see you for months but now here you are in his arms, and he is never letting you go again.

[sunshinevanfleet]

brat - d. wagner

pairing: danny x reader

a/n: hey y'all!!! i'm back again with another fic. i'm trying to keep up with the writing and avoid some writers' block, so here's another fic. i am hardcore in danny's lane rn, and planned to write some fluff and then ended up with the exact opposite lol. so here's some enemies to lovers, hate-fuck smut with our lovely danny. he's kind of an asshole in this one and it's very sexy so pls enjoy. let me know what u think!! luv you all. (p.s. this is unedited and not proofread so excuse me for any mistakes thx ok bye)

genre: smut (18+ ONLY, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT), enemies to lovers

word count: 4k

warnings: alcohol consumption, explicit sex scenes, unprotected sex, car sex, danny being an asshole, some light degradation, etc.

“You have got to be fucking with me.” 

You barely noticed the words leaving your lips as you stood by the bar, the plastic cup in your hand crunching as you gripped it. You glanced over your shoulder at your friend; she was still distracted by the hot bartender flirting with her. Nudging her with your shoulder, she finally glanced over.

“No way, is that–”

“It is,” you muttered, shaking your head. “I’m going to fucking murder Josh Kiszka.”

Kara laughed at your words, just as shocked as you were. The bartender was forgotten, still chatting away distractedly as you two stared at the man in the doorway of the bar. The low light obscured him slightly, not to mention the blurriness of your eyes from the couple of drinks you had. But it was him, silhouetted there, all broad-shoulders and dark curly hair framing his face. 

“Daniel Wagner…” Kara shook her head, taking a long swig of her drink in front of her. “Josh totally did that on purpose.”

“You think?”

“I mean, I dunno.” She shrugged. “He knows you hate each other, obviously.”

You sighed heavily. You should’ve called anyone but Josh. You should’ve spent your last ten dollars getting an uber home. It would be worth sacrificing your pretentious cold brew from the coffee shop down the street in the morning in order to avoid riding home with Danny Wagner. 

“This is so fucked.” You turned around to face Kara. Danny was canvassing the crowded bar, obviously searching for you since he had been called to be your savior tonight. “I’m never calling Josh to pick me up again.”

“You should’ve expected this, Y/N,” said Kara. “Josh is always sending someone else to get you. Remember last time? He was taking fireball shots at home with Sam, so he sent Jake…”

“That’s the difference!” you hissed at her, trying not to call attention to yourself. You were beginning to panic. How were you going to survive a twenty minute drive in the car with a man you hated? “It was Jake! He’s not my–my arch nemesis!”

Kara snorted, covering her mouth as she began to laugh. “Your arch nemesis… I can’t with you. Sound like a supervillain,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“I’m being serious.”

“You’ll be fine, Y/N,” she waved her hand halfheartedly. “At least he’s hot.”

Your features screwed up into a scowl. It felt like all of your friends were setting you up for this. The two of you never got along; he always had some snarky comment any time you said anything, and the sound of his voice hit the wrong nerve with you. Something about him was just infuriating. But he was a staple in the Kiszkas’ lives, and so were you, so you tolerated each other. Josh, however, was always trying to get you to get along. This was another one of his plots, and you knew it. You were going to strangle him. 

“Oh, shit, I think he’s spotted us,” Kara said, eyes widening. She forced herself to look back towards the bartender, and sipped her drink aggressively. 

You took a deep breath and smoothed your hands over your face. This would definitely be interesting. It took everything in you not to turn around and watch him saunter over, that stupid cocky look playing on his features as he realized the rest of your night was in his hands. There was no doubt in your mind that he was going to make every second a living hell. 

“There you are, sweetheart,” came his voice from behind you. You resisted the urge to scream at the pretentious nickname.

You turned to face him, your face curled into the nastiest smile you could muster. “Daniel,” you said, feigning politeness. “Look who the cat dragged in.”

“Kicking and screaming,” he agreed, nodding his head. You eyed him for a second. His hair was pulled back messily, stray curls fanning his forehead and cheeks. He wore a black muscle tee and a pair of gray sweatpants that were hanging dangerously low on his hips. He must’ve been in bed when Josh called him. 

“Where’s Josh?” you asked bluntly. Your two-second show of getting along was over. He was the last person you wanted to be face-to-face with right now. 

“Incapacitated,” said Danny. “You know how he loves a good Friday night drinking game.”

“And you weren’t playing?”

“Nope,” he continued, “I was all cozy in my bed, going to sleep early. Then Josh calls me to come rescue the princess, so here I am.” 

You rolled your eyes. With a huff, you decided not to push the subject any further. If you ignored him, maybe the next half hour would go by in a flash. Next time, you’d be calling your Mom before you called Josh to come pick you up. Unreliable little shit.

“Let’s get this shit over with,” you said under your breath.

Standing from the bar, you grabbed your purse and slung it over your shoulder. You shoved your phone inside, and said a quick goodbye to Kara. She smiled sweetly at the both of you as you left. Danny led you out into the warm night air, where his car was waiting. 

“Don’t look so miserable, sweetheart,” he said, a twinge of amusement in his voice.

“Oh, shut up,” you muttered, tone laced with venom. You had never met anyone with such a smackable demeanor, someone so hell-bent on pestering you until you broke. 

“What? Not happy to see me?”

You wrinkled your nose. Ducking into his car, you dropped your bag on the floor and kicked off your heels. In the back of your mind, you wished you drank a little more before you left. Danny’s presence was a wonderfully effective buzzkill. 

“Well, don’t get your panties in a twist. You don’t have to see me for too long,” he said, grinning.

“My panties are perfectly untwisted,” you said haughtily. “Can you just shut up for the next twenty minutes? It’d make my life a lot easier.”

He laughed. “I’m not here to make your life easier.”

“Believe me, I’ve noticed.”

You could feel the smugness radiating off of him as he pulled away from the bar. You wished you could hitch a ride with Kara, but you knew her boyfriend was picking her up and they would be nearly as insufferable as this car ride with Danny. It was quiet for a moment, but you knew he would be back to bugging you any minute now. You merely hoped you didn’t explode once it started. 

He reached between you, flicking the radio on to kill the silence between you. The station was set to something hard-rock. The drums and guitar blaring through the speakers were really starting to worsen the headache threatening to come on.

“Can you turn that off, please?” you asked, glaring at him.

“No, I like this song,” Danny said, reaching over to increase the volume.

Your face flushed with anger. 

“I have a headache, Daniel,” you said bitterly. “At least turn it down.”

But he was steadily cranking the volume up, up, up. The grin on his face was only widening. Your head pounded, both from the drinks and the immeasurable rage coursing through you. 

“What?” he shouted. “I can’t hear you!”

You half-groaned, half-screamed, and reached over to pull his hand away from the volume. You knew you looked like a crazy person, and you didn’t care. He laughed as you pushed his hand away from the radio. You muted it without a second thought. 

“My head is fucking pounding,” you hissed at him. “Asshole.”

“Oh I’m an asshole,” he added, chuckling. “That’s rich, coming from such a brat.”

You glanced over, and met his gaze briefly before he looked away. His eyes were dark, and slightly hooded with sleep. He really must’ve been sleeping.  Your heart thundered in your chest. If you weren’t so pissed off, you might have noticed the butterflies blooming in your stomach and spreading down between your legs. There was no way that Danny Wagner insulting you was turning you on. You ignored the feeling, twisting one leg over the other and flopping back against the seat. 

“You are an asshole,” you said.

“I am a perfectly nice guy.”

You snorted. “You’re fucking delusional.”

“You know it. You just don’t want to admit that you’re the instigator in this relationship,” Danny said.

“Instigator? Which one of us is constantly, intentionally, pissing the other one off?” You raised your eyebrows expectantly at him.

He grinned at you, shrugging. “Which one of us is constantly getting so worked up over absolutely nothing?”

“I’m going to ignore you, now,” you stated. You turned away from him, staring off into the distance as he drove you home. You couldn’t stand looking into those intense eyes any longer. Your thighs were clenched together so hard that they were beginning to shake. It was about time you got the hell out of this car, before shit got out of hand.

“Looks like I’m right,” he continued. “Poor little brat knows I’m right, huh?”

Brat… The word made you squirm in your seat, the brief throbbing in your core making you swallow hard. He was going to be the death of you, the gorgeous shithead sitting in the seat beside you. God, you hated how easily he could push your buttons in all the right ways. You hated to admit it, but underneath all of the outward animosity, there had always been some serious sexual tension. 

“I must be really getting under your skin, huh sweetheart?” 

There it was again, another one of his condescending nicknames. It felt wrong to say you were almost enjoying this. You squirmed slightly again, trying to avoid his attention. The sound of your pulse thundered in your ears. In the back of your mind, you wondered if he could tell. 

“I hate you,” you muttered. Your voice was hoarse, and so quiet it was barely audible between you. You were afraid if you spoke any louder that the shake in your voice would give it all away. 

“Doesn’t seem that way,” said Danny smugly. His car came to a stop at a redlight, and you turned to glance at him. He was looking at you, almost hungrily. He looked you up and down, shaking his head as the light finally turned green and he pulled off. “Can’t sit still over there, can you?”

“What are you talking about?” 

“Don’t act all clueless,” he chuckled. “I see you over there, squirming and writhing…” His eyes flicked down to your legs twisted together. Your skirt had ridden dangerously high up your thighs, almost enough so that your panties would be exposed shortly. 

“I am not,” you hissed, uncrossing your legs and pulling your skirt down. Your face flushed red, and you prayed he couldn’t see it in the dim light. 

“Are too,” his voice was tinged with amusement. “Bet that little pussy’s just throbbing when I call you brat.” 

His words sent a jolt up your spine, and you knew he could see your red face now. Your eyes widened like a deer in headlights. He laughed darkly at this.

“You know I’m right.”

You swallowed the planet-sized lump in your throat, trying to figure out how to breathe again. What the fuck were you supposed to say to that? 

“I– Danny, what–” You were lost for words. You couldn’t take your eyes off him as you rode the last two minutes to your house. He seemed to be completely focused on the road, not paying you any mind as you sat there in complete shock. What the fuck was going on?

The car came to a stop in your driveway with a jolt. There was a short pause, where the two of you just stared at each other for a moment. Then, without a word, Danny leaned his seat back, and you caught the hint.

You climbed across the center console and straddled him with all the ease of a professional. He leaned up and caught your lips in a heated kiss. It was hot, and messy– all lips and teeth gnashing and saliva everywhere. His hands had fallen to your ass, bunching your skirt up around your hips and kneading the fleshy skin. Your own were tangled in his curls, pulling more hair loose from his bun as you pushed him down against the seat.

“God, you’re fucking soaked,” he groaned against your mouth. One of his fingers teased along your panties as he squeezed your ass. There was barely any friction, but still you sighed heavily. 

“Fuck,” you hissed as he dragged the finger up and down the fabric again, teasing you through your underwear. You ground your hips down against him, trying to get some kind of relief. 

“What got you this wet for me, sweetheart? Hmm?” His lips traveled down your neck, sucking the skin hard as he left bruises behind. You rutted your hips against him again, desperately as he continued teasing you. “This sweet little pussy loves it when I call you my brat, huh?”

His deep, silky voice sent a jolt through your body. You needed him so bad. To touch you, to taste you, to fuck you. Anything at this point. You couldn’t take the sound of him teasing you anymore. You needed him to destroy you.

“Fuck, Danny, stop teasing me, please,” you hissed through clenched teeth. Two of his long fingers swept past your panties and swirled against your soaking wet core. Your eyes almost rolled back into your head at the feeling of it. 

“Teasing you is the best part,” he said breathily. His lips skirted across your collarbones, nipping harshly at the skin. You were going to be fifty shades of purple come the morning, but you didn’t care. You wanted his mouth–his teeth– on you, everywhere. 

You grunted, swirling your clothed center against his bulge and fingers again. It was almost pure bliss, having two of his fingers prodding your entrance and his clothed bulge dragging against your clit. You knew you could cum like this, but you wanted him, all of him desperately. 

His fingers finally pushed into your soaked cunt, and you moaned loudly. Your face flushed with embarrassment; it had been so long since you’d been fucked properly. The desperation in your movements made you feel something like a virgin again. You didn’t have time to worry about what Danny would think– his free hand had snaked up your body to wrap around your throat.

You gasped, throwing your head back as his fingers sank into you to the base. 

“You like that? You like my fingers stretching that little cunt open?”

You nodded, clenching around him as he slowly began to thrust them in and out of you. He curled them slightly, the pads of his fingers grazing your sweet spot deliciously.

“Use your words, brat.”

“Y–yes, Danny, I–” a moan broke through as he curled his fingers more harshly, driving them into your g-spot. “Fuck, I love it.”

“Oh, you love it?” he asked, his voice amused. “C’mon, ride my fingers, then.”

You obeyed instantly, lifting yourself up and rolling your hips against his fingers. Your entire body seized as his fingers hit that spot over and over again. Your eyes were screwed shut, bottom lip tugged between your teeth as he held you up by the throat and let you fuck yourself on his fingers. Pleasure coursed through your veins; you were sure he was the best lay of your life, and he hadn’t even fucked you yet. Stars bloomed in your vision, and your legs began to tremble.

He breathed sharply as your walls clenched tightly around his fingers. “Feels so good, doesn’t it sweetheart? You’re so close to cumming all over my hand, aren’t you? Yeah, that tight little pussy’s gonna cream all over my fingers, isn’t it?”

You whimpered at his words. You forced your eyes open and glanced down at him, and you nearly came at the sight. His lips were raw and swollen from his assault on your neck; sweat glistened on his forehead and cheeks, his curls plastered to the skin as he watched you with black eyes. His expression dripped with pure filth– no one had ever looked at you this way. You leaned down into him, pressing your open mouth against his. You breathed his air, tasting his breath and sucking it into your lungs as if it were your own lifeforce. Your tongue darted into his mouth; you throbbed at the wet, lewd sounds emerging from the two of your mouths together. It was disgusting, and you were loving every second of it. 

Chest heaving, you began to grind yourself down onto his digits, hard. You vision began to go black.

“Danny, oh my god, Danny,” you breathed, rocking against him. “I’m gonna cum, fuck me, I can’t hold on…” You were practically screaming, hoping that his car was muffling the sound of your shrill moans from the outside world.

“No, no, not yet, sweetheart…”

Your heart dropped as he dropped his hand from your throat, and grabbed you around the waist. You gasped as he pulled his soaked fingers out of you, your cunt clenching around nothing as he laughed darkly. 

“Danny, what the fuck–”

He grinned. “Relax, Y/N,” he said, amused. 

“But I was so fucking close,” you groaned, squirming above him as he watched you. Without saying anything, he brought his slick fingers up to your mouth and held them in front of you. You stared at him for a second, before he reached his other hand up and tapped you on the chin with his thumb. Opening your mouth, you allowed him to insert his fingers into your mouth, tasting yourself. He groaned at the sight; you felt his cock twitch underneath you, straining against his sweatpants. You rolled your hips against him, and he bit down on his lip with a grunt.

“You’re gonna cum all over my cock, okay? Gonna be my good girl and ride me,” he said, watching as you nodded, bobbing your lips over his fingers. You swirled your tongue around his digits hungrily, your eyes widening as you watched him pull down the waistband of his pants. His cock slapped against his abdomen. You knew from feeling it that it was bigger than average, but you never would have expected this from Danny Wagner.

“Fuck, where have you been hiding that thing?” you muttered, incredulous. 

Danny laughed, taking his saliva soaked hand and wrapping it around his shaft. The tip was slightly purple, leaking shining clear precum. He spread your spit and juices over himself, groaning thickly. 

“Let me,” you replaced his hand with your own, swiping your thumb over the tip. He grunted, closing his eyes and leaning back against the seat. You leaned forward, letting a string of saliva drip from your mouth down to his cock. You bobbed your fist up and down over him, feeling his thighs twitch as you teased him.

“Enough,” he groaned thickly, his voice deep with arousal as he reached forward to grab your wrist. “Sit on it. Now.” He commanded.

“Yes, sir,” you said snarkily, lifting yourself up and positioning your hole over the tip. You dragged the tip through your folds for a moment, soaking it in your arousal. The two of you moaned in unison, and a deep breathy groan spilled from his lips as you finally sank down onto him.

You squeezed your eyes shut at the stretch of his cock; it felt as if you were being split in half in the best way possible. 

“Holy fuck,” you panted, rolling your hips slowly against him. You didn’t know how you were going to take him for very long. Your legs trembled on either side of his, and you could barely lift yourself above him.

“What is it, sweetheart?” Danny grasped your chin as you stared down at him. “Need some help, baby? Need help riding my big cock?”

You nodded, “Yes, please. I can take it, please.” One of your hands wrapped around his wrist, and the other grasped his shoulder. Your nails dug into his skin as he wrapped his arms around your waist. He lifted you off of him a bit, and began to drill into you from beneath you.

You pressed your forehead against his, your mouth open in a silent scream. You couldn’t think as he set a relentless pace, barrelling into your swollen hole without abandon. Your thighs quivered and began to shake; if it weren’t for him holding you up, you would have collapsed on top of him. He was so deep, abusing your pussy as tears of sheer pleasure clouded your vision. 

You felt his hips stutter beneath you, and you moved your hand from his shoulder, to his throat. “Don’t fucking stop,” you moaned, your voice cracking. “If you stop, I’ll kill you.”

He laughed throatily, his breath fanning over your face. “Oh, if I had the willpower to torture you with my cock right now, I promise you I would, sweetheart. But I’ve gotta cum in this pussy, now.”

Tears swept down your cheeks as he maintained his rhythm. Sweat poured down your face, and mingled with the dampness of your tears. You squeezed your eyes closed, your entire body shaking as you approached your release. 

"Poor little pitiful thing..." he muttered. "I love seeing you cry over my cock. Feels good, huh baby? Splitting you open like that..."

“Fuck, fuck, fuuuck, I’m cumming, Danny– Oh, motherfuck–” Your voice was cut off by the heaving breaths breaking from your throat. Your cunt tightened around Danny’s thick length, squeezing deliciously as he fucked you straight through your orgasm. Your entire mind was blank, your vision cloudy as you slumped against him. But he wasn’t done with you; his pace was more relentless than ever as he chased his own high. You used the last of your energy to meet his thrusting, pushing him closer to the edge.

“Almost there,” he whispered, his features twisted in focus as you fucked down onto him. You rocked your hips, swirling around on his cock. His mouth fell open, and his features screwed up in pleasure. A strangled moan fell from his lips, and you felt his hot cum shooting inside of you, staining your walls. He came with a deep groan of your name, and you throbbed around him. 

You whimpered at the feeling of him pulling out of you, his strong arms still holding you above him. Gently, he released your waist, and you slumped down onto his chest. The two of you were covered in sweat, sticky and smelling distinctly of arousal. Around you, the windows of his car had fogged up enough that you could barely see out of them.

“You okay?” Danny asked quietly as you rolled back into your own seat, pressing your back against the door. You were still panting, your skirt hitched up around your hips. Your panties had been ripped to shreds in the process, threads dangling from your thighs. Absent-mindedly, you struggled to remove them.

“I’m good,” you nodded, taking a deep breath as you tried your best to fix your appearance. 

“Didn’t mean to make you cry,” he said, sounding almost sorry.

“It was a good cry.” A laugh fell from your lips, and you were glad to see him smile. A real smile this time. Not the shit-eating grin you were used to. 

“Want me to walk you up?” He nodded towards the door to your house, slowly becoming visible through the fogged up windows. 

You nodded. “Sure,” you said. “Think I might need you to carry me after that.”

“I can manage that. If you can do me one favor in the morning…”

“And what would that be?”

“Tell Josh I said thanks for calling me,” he said cheekily.

“Oh, shut up,” you reached over and smacked him on the chest, then shook your head as he ducked out of the car. What were you going to do with him?

[kiztae]

give you everything ― k.taehyun x f.reader

word count: 1,9k. 

genre: best friends to lovers, love triangle (sort of), angst, suggestive.

summary: when your ex-best friend gets drunk at a party, you take care of him. however, past memories and feelings come back and things take a turn.

cw: metions of alcohol consumption, slightly under the influence, making out, marking, grinding. 

note: my first work and first post on tumblr, hope you enjoy it.

────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

“i need to get you away from all this.” you say while looking around the room and then back at him. “c’mon, get up.”

after sitting beside taehyun  for what felt like hours, you got up to get him out of the room.

taking care of him meant you had to constantly bring him glasses of water and make sure he kept himself conscious. taehyun doesn’t usually drink a lot, so this is new to you.

he always thought people who got too drunk at parties were dumb for doing things like that in public. but now, he’s the one sitting on the floor against the wall, trying to regain his composure.

you grab taehyun’s arm and then place your hand on his waist to hold him up next to you. his ears show a shade of pink at your bold touch but he keeps it hidden. he tries to shrug you off and mumbles something about not wanting to move, but you’re not letting him stay there any longer.

“i don’t wanna leave. i'm fine y/n... really.” he says while talking at a slow speed, like he was fighting for those words to come out.

you ignore his remarks as you walk out the room. once you reach the hall you take a glance at the rooms and decide that the bedroom at the end of the hall would be a calmer place. 

“all i want is for you to get better, and that room was the worst place to sober up. you’re already doing good, so just do as i say okay?” you retort as you make your way to the center of the room and reach for the bed, sitting him on the edge of it.

“whatever.” he slurs while lazily looking around the room and then at you.

you take the bottle of water you had brought and then hand it to him as you sit down on the other edge of the bed. as he drinks the water you look up to the ceiling and start reflecting about the past. 

it has been a while since you talked to taehyun. after you started to go out with his best friend nicholas, things felt more distant. not awkward, just, distant.

you met taehyun through nicholas a while ago. you guys went bowling and he introduced you to some of his friends: taehyun being one of them. 

after that bowling night, taehyun reached out to you to hang out more often. and so, you two became best friends. you would eat out, watch movies or most of the time, just talk.

however, he wasn’t the only one hanging out with you. you were still going out with nicholas regularly at that time, and you guys were closer than ever. taehyun knew this, and for some reason it bothered him. he didn’t want to accept it, but he couldn’t deny the fact that he liked you, from the very start. he knew it was wrong, how could he like the same girl as his best friend? so, he decided to keep quiet and he never said anything ; until one day. 

it happened around two weeks ago, on a wednesday afternoon: you and taehyun were eating some sweets after walking around town. he always bought you sweets, he knew you loved them. you two decided to eat them while sitting in front of the shop. you had called for an uber and while waiting for it you two chatted about whatever crossed your mind.

“hey,” taehyun cut the conversation while he stared at the cars passing by “i need to tell you something.”

“sure... what is it?” you said keeping your eyes on the cars, slightly concerned by his serious tone. you both wouldn’t look at each other.

“i..” he paused. “i had feelings for you.”

you frowned and kept looking at the road, you were about to say something in response but he cut you off.

“but i don’t anymore. i liked you and it’s in the past.” he continued while avoiding your gaze. “you’re going out with nicholas and he’s my bestfriend. i don’t want to lose him, or you.” he states.

“i liked you too, a while back.” you stared at the cars going at a fast speed as you reflected on this. you recently had a feeling he liked and you kept it away for the same reasons as him. 

“it’s all in the past, right? we-” taehyun asked you, but it felt like he asked himself that too. “we’re good like this, right?”

“i-“ as you try and answer him, your uber calls. you look at the car and then back at him as you walk off, sighing. “i have to go.”

“how’s nicholas doing?” says taehyun from the other side of the bed, suddenly cutting your train of thought.

your best friend is doing his best to sober up and here you are thinking about useless things. get a grip y/n, you thought.

“he’s okay. haven’t seen him in a bit tho.” you reply while looking to the side. 

“oh. why?” he asks while staring at you. 

“i told him i didn’t want to see him for some time, i’ve got some stuff i need to sort out.” you sigh. why would he ask about him now? it annoyed you, for an unknown reason. “anyway, i think you’re feeling better aren’t you?”

he let out a small chuckle and he waved the empty water bottle at you. “yup, all thanks to you.”

he looked a bit tipsy but that was it. he definitely felt better and you deemed it to be the right time to leave the room. you stood up and rearranged your dress that had ridden up to your thighs. taehyun’s eyes lingered on them until he looked up to you. 

“wait, you're leaving?” he questions while looking disappointed. 

“yeah.. i think you’re good, so i'm gonna go back to my friends.” you answer while looking back at him and giving him a small smile. you turn your back and reach for the door until you feel something grab your hand.

“but i don’t want you to leave.” taehyun says as he grabs your hand and stands behind you.

you ground yourself and resist the urge to turn around. you can feel his breath behind you as he sighs. your cheeks start to warm up at the thought of him being close to you again. 

“can i-” he looks down “can i kiss you? please y/n” he says quietly. 

you turn around and look at him. your flustered expression must say it all since he talks again before you can reply. 

“just-” his eyes are fixed on yours “just once, it won't hurt us, i swear.” then, his eyes travel down to your lips.

“no..” you look down “taehyun i’m sorry but i don’t think that’s good neither of us.” you retort.

he sighs and lets go of your hand to run his hand through his hair in frustration. he felt bad after asking for that so shamelessly. “i’m sorry.”

you don’t know why but your heart aches. you know it wouldn’t be right so you reach for the door again, without looking back. you’re about to step but you pause and look down, burying your face in your palms. 

“fuck.” you groan in exasperation. you stood there for a few seconds until you could feel taehyun's smirk from behind you. 

taehyun’s eyes lock with yours as you turn your head to the side and you feel like your breath got caught in your throat. his eyes are slightly glossy as they burn into yours. you look down at his lips and then look back up to meet his piercing gaze.

“i knew you’d stay.” he whispers as he glares at you from the bed. he stands up and snatches your waist to hold you.

taehyun keeps pulling you into his embrace and you swear both of his hands on you, could break your waist. his touch makes your head spin and your breath quicken. 

“just a kiss.” he slurs as he joins his forehead with yours and presses his body closer to you, making you feel all of him. you feel the heat coming off his body, and his breath is so clear against you that it makes your face feel hot. adding the scent of vodka and sandalwood radiating off his body, you become gradually intoxicated by him.

“taehyun..” you hesitate. your voice comes out so low, that if it weren’t for the proximity between you both, he wouldn’t have heard it. “just one kiss.” you comply.

finally gaining confirmation, he wastes no time in grabbing the back of your neck to pull you closer and connect his lips with yours. his other hand travels down to grasp your hip with so much force it makes you let out a small gasp. taehyun’s kiss is ignited with desire. it’s so rough that it almost feels desperate. 

you feel like your legs are gonna give out any second with the way he handles you, turning into mush. his tongue slides against your bottom lip asking for permission, you let out a small moan as you open your mouth for him and he swears your moans could kill him. he never lets his mouth leave yours as he clumsily brings you to the bed in hurried movements.

he sits down and lifts you onto his lap without effort. god, those gym sessions really pay off, you think. his hands roam around your body and he feels whatever he can, making you let out shaky breaths between actions. your crotch lands on his suddenly causing friction. 

you moan at the sudden contact and you break the kiss. your eyes trail down his body: his ruffled hair, now red and puffy lips from all the kissing, his toned biceps, and lastly, his defined v-line exposed by his shirt that had ridden up. you felt a pool form between your legs as you stared at him in awe. 

taking advantage of your ogling, taehyun started doing the same to you. he studied your face, glowing with the glints of light that came into the room, then he observed your body, starstruck by the way your chest was heaving with each breath you took. it was as if he was memorizing every part of you, in fear of never seeing it again.

“a kiss isn’t enough.” he groans as he latches onto your neck and starts to kiss and bite every spot on it. “i need all of you.”

you latch onto him as his hands grip your ass, while he keeps his attack against your neck and collarbone, marking you. with one sharp bite on your collarbone your body reacts instinctively and you rub yourself against his crotch, making him let out a broken whimper.

“oh god” he says between bites. “you’re gonna kill me y/n.” he growls, holding on to your hips to keep them in place with so much force that you’re sure it will bruise you. 

“taehyun...” you call in a broken tone. “give me more.”  

he’s certain that he’s done for once those words leave your lips. he inches you closer to his crotch and makes you rub against it again, kissing you furiously. you pant, feeling his hot breath against your skin. he feels like his entire body is in flames, his mind clouded with you. your body, your voice, your scent, all of you, in his hold.

“don’t worry baby. i’ll give you everything.”

©kiztae 2023

[angelagiarratana]

Casual

Def not inspired by a song... def not....

Angst? with a happy ending

Your weekends were the same, every single week. Friday you would get a text from her asking you to meet her and Chanse at Weho. You would show up, she would already have a drink waiting for you. By the way you finished it, she was pulling you out the door. Lips and teeth turn into a quiet uber ride home to your own bed and bathroom.

Until Uber’s turned into, “It’s really late, just stay”, and those turned into quiet mornings, AND THEN those turned into packing a sleepover bag and washing your faces together. Brunch with pancakes and holding hands under the table. Shared smiles and stolen glances. You knew what was happening, you knew it was not causal. 

Standing at the bar with her and a few friends, Chanse’s roommate spoke up, “Y/n how long have you and Ang been together?” The question took you aback, you chuckled a bit. “Oh no, we aren’t together. It’s just casual.” Chanse shot you both a look, “Oh, I thought-” Angela interrupted him, “Yeah it’s nothing serious. Relationships are scary and can suck'' Angela joked, but it struck a chord in you. Chanse slowly sipped his drink and stepped away. Angela shifted awkwardly on her feet. You simply chose to ignore it because asking what was wrong would be girlfriend behavior. 

Not soon after Angela was wrapping her arm around your waist and drawing lazy circles under the hem of your shirt. The act alone sent shivers up your spine and lit your skin on fire. She leaned into you, whispering in your ear, “Let’s go.” You didn’t argue, pulling out your card to pay your tab. Angela grabbed your hand, “I already paid, I said let’s go.” She spoke in the sweetest, most commanding voice and the mixture of the two made your head spin. 

By the time she pulled into the driveway you felt like you were going to explode. Her hand resting on your thigh kept moving higher and higher. Angela in this mood was addictive. She moved so purposefully, so confidently and was a distinct change from her normal all over the place personability. Angela leaned over the console and planted a single kiss on your neck, “You’re so beautiful.” She watched as your nose crinkled as you smiled. Her hands roamed freely, letting you know you weren’t making it into the apartment. 

A couple hours later you sat on her apartment balcony as she paced the living room on the phone with her brother. You kept hearing phrases like, “Only you can make this choice.” and “Maybe just sleep on it? It’s late.” You poked your head in to check on her, she caught your eye and you mouthed ‘everything okay?’ She put the phone on mute, “He’s overthinking something that happened with his girlfriend.” You raised an eyebrow, “Oh I’ve been there.” She handed you her phone, “Please, go right ahead.” You shot her a confused look and took the phone off mute, “Hey Angela’s brother. Um, from what I’ve gathered as an unbiased third party, I agree that you should sleep on it.” It came out all jumbled and weird, but he seemed to accept it as he took a defeated breath. “I don’t know who you are, but I think you’re right.” Angela took her phone back and said her goodbyes. You found your place back on the balcony. The question whirring in your head. The anxiety in your body made everything feel like it was vibrating. 

Angela sighed and sat down in the chair beside you, “Sorry about that. He knows he can always call, but he doesn’t always listen to me.” She wiped her hands on her sweatpants. She suddenly turned to you, “I’m sorry if that was weird, I was running out of options.” You grimaced and looked at her, “It was a little weird, but it made me think.” Angela shifted her entire focus to you, you swallowed and looked at the ground. “Are you sure this is still casual?” Angela let out the breath she was holding in, “Um,” Not comforting. “Fuck buddies don’t talk down your brother Ang.” She hung her head and started fidgeting with her hands. You reached out and took one of them causing her to look at you. “I don’t know what to call us Y/n. I obviously enjoy more than sex with you but,” You sighed and finished for her, “Relationships are scary and can suck.” She giggled, “Yeah.” 

Angela looked away first, “I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to undermine this and hurt you or make you feel objectified, but I don’t want to scare you away either.” You smiled, “I get that.” She looked back at you, “You always do. You’re so understanding and good at seeing things from others' perspectives.” She placed a kiss on the back of your hand. “It’s what drew me to you, from our first conversation.” You sighed sadly and took your hand from hers, “Angela, what do you want us to be?” She looked at Spork who was asleep on his bed on the balcony, “Wanna try a real date?” You beamed at her and she slowly turned her head to gauge your reaction. A smile graced her lips when she saw you smiling. “Only if you give a real, true kiss, no intentions behind it.” She laughed, “You and your hopeless romantic ass self.” 

She stood from her seat, grabbing your hand and pulling you up. One of her arms found it’s way around your waist, the other gently holding your cheek. You finally processed where your limbs were and dropped them over her shoulders. Angela seemed to be looking at each of your facial features individually, genuinely taking them in. You watched her eyes dance over your face before they found their way to yours, “Angela I swea-” She gently pressed her lips to yours, pulling your hips into hers. You tangled your hands in her hair and deepened the kiss. She pulled away with a smile on her face, “That was totally casual, right? Like I just kissed you passionately in a cool way?” You laughed loudly at her bit making her smile really big. Your laughing woke up Spork who barked a singular time. Angela just stared at you, and the way your nose crinkled. 

[camryntheking]

Ok! My thoughts on 7x05!

First, i just wanna say that the whole Hen and Karen storyline is awesome! I love that the show is giving queer people so much screen time, especially a Black lesbian couple! And i think its super sweet that they really want to try for Mara! I hope it works out!

Next, i think that has been my favorite cold open so far. The “ITS MEEE” gets me every time (i have already watched it loads of times). I dont have much to comment on it other than it was funny as fuck

Ok. The date scene. I was hoping to see more of Eddie watching them (especially after the stills), but oh well. The second-hand embarrassment i got was… a lot. But i dont think its necessarily a bad thing. It showed how out of his comfort zone Buck was and how he was trying to navigate a terrifying situation. And Tommy? I might have to retract my earlier retraction. Cos wtf?? Literally had just finished talking about how its hard to accept yourself in a “macho” field, then makes a dig at Buck when he fumbles? Not cool. Then not communicating what was happening until he was getting in the Uber? You dont just abandon someone at a restaurant like that. I understand the “you’re not ready” thing, but that was a dick move.

Also, Buck, baby. Sweetheart. Darling. “I look at hot guys’ asses.” Sweetie. Like Maddie said. You are more than an ally lmao. I also just love how Maddie showed interest in getting to know who Buck was talking about and treating the convo after like a normal convo. Because it is! And i love it! But she also emphasized talking to Eddie, because she knew that Eddie would not react poorly. I feel like that just shows how everyone knows how close Buck and Eddie are. TLDR, Maddie is an awesome sister and Buck is lucky to have her ❤️

Next point, the scene where Buck and Tommy talk over coffee. I do think that the hand holding at the end is very sweet and shows how Buck is really trying to be more open, but Tommy is just really starting to rub me the wrong way. Pretty much everything he said contradicts what happened in the date scene. I feel like him being at the wedding is really gonna spark some Jealous Eddie, tho, so i am excited to see that lmao

And Eddie and Marisol? I feel like the show is going in a direction that leads them to breaking up. Like yes, it is showing growth for Eddie and allowed him to acknowledge that he has Catholic guilt, but theres just. No chemistry. It feels awkward. I feel like her being an ex-nun is gonna bring up some issues with Buck and Eddie will not stand for that. I also wanted to point out that i got even more vibes that Eddie could be demisexual, cos he didnt straight up say that he loved Shannon, just that he loved being married to her. And he knows that he is moving too fast and needs to step back a bit

Finally, Buck coming out to Eddie. I do find it funny that Eddie seemed more shocked that Tommy wasnt straight than figuring out Buck isnt straight. But its awesome that Eddie showed interest and genuinely wanted to help Buck through the issue. And the hug? Finally! Give me men not being afraid to hug each other! I feel like this is allowing Buck and Eddie to become even closer (i do hope for Buddie eventually)

Overall, i feel like this episode was great for setting up the development of Buck and Eddie’s relationship (whether it ends up being platonic or romantic). And i am all for Buck exploring his sexuality with someone that isnt Eddie. While Tommy isnt my favorite right now, i do think that he is great for the progression of Buck’s story. I do hope to see more of Dad!Bobby in the coming episodes and how Buck’s parents might react to Tommy. I dont wanna wait three weeks for the next episode 😢. Im ready for the chaos of the Madney wedding

If i think of anything else ill add on, but i think thats all i have for now. Feel free to share your thoughts!

[shyvioletcat]

Happy Holidays @sassyhobbits. I know this is very late but it's finally here! Thank you for understanding the hectic circumstances I found myself in pre-Christmas. I am officially the last postee of the @rowaelinscourt secret santa and as an apology I added a bonus epilogue to this fic. I hope you love it! It was very fun to write.

Word Count: 9500

CW: Swearing and smut

~~~~~

Aelin didn’t know how it happened. After almost a year of dancing around each other she and Rowan had finally gone on a date. And that date was perfect. Perfect food, perfect conversation and Aelin even found the perfect dress to wear for the night. It was a tasteful red number, in her favourite shade, tight enough to show off her form but not tight enough that everyone got the full show. Aelin couldn’t fault the night, and she had replayed every moment over and over enough to be confident in that conclusion. So she didn’t understand why even after the sweetest and most perfect kiss goodnight Rowan had vanished. 

Completely and utterly ghosted her. 

After kissing her goodnight at the door she had neither sight nor sound of him. There was a string of messages from her that had gone unanswered and in the end she had to find out through mutual friends that he had in fact vanished—physically. No one knew where he went or why, one day he was there and the next he was gone. Aelin hadn’t even managed one day of post date flirting in their office before he was gone. 

She had to go to Lorcan of all people to get confirmation that Rowan was alive. The information was passed over in a brief and curt conversation that between the lines said very clearly mind your own business. In other circumstances Aelin would have never approached the surly bastard, and the fact she had was testament to her desperation. Aelin was left to wonder and wallow, both of which she kept out of the workplace. She was the picture of professionalism, aloof and pretending to be unaffected by her damaged heart. Because she liked Rowan, more than liked even, and she thought that he cared for her too. Everything that Aelin had assumed was obviously wrong. 

It was pointless to worry about and Aelin was determined to put it out of her mind. Tonight was the perfect opportunity at the annual Yulemas party. A night of drinking and frivolity was exactly what she needed. This year the company had rented out a private room in a swanky pub by the river. Being so Aelin was dressing for the part. She knew the place and had been there a few times. There was a giant fireplace that would warm the whole room, so really she only needed her coat for the brief trip from the car to inside. She was wearing a satin green dress, the whole thing pleated. The neckline and back both dipped into a deep V, with a thick band around her waist. The sleeve barely went past the top of her shoulder and the hemline reached mid calf. It was a classy number with just a little bit of daring. 

The responsible driver that she was, Aelin checked on the arrival of the Uber as she put the finishing touches on her ensemble. They were elegant gold drop earrings and a delicate matching chain around her neck. The gold dust she added to her eyelids highlighted the gold tones in her eyes and matched her jewellery too, and with one final look in the mirror decided she was done. Aelin watched the approach of her ride on her phone and when it was close enough she slipped on her red three quarter length coat and darted out into the cold. 

Blessedly, the ride to the pub wasn’t far and her driver was on the quieter side. Aelin didn’t feel like talking to a stranger. She still said thank you though as she left the car, and she had just dipped her hands into the pocket of her coat when she felt her phone buzz with a notification. Not willing to freeze her fingers off in the bitter Orynth winter, Aelin waited until she was in the doorway before she pulled her phone out to read the message. It was from Lysandra, her best friend turned cousin’s girlfriend through a turn of happy circumstances. She didn’t work with Aelin but she would have come as Aedion’s plus one because he did. 

Lys: You’ll never BELIEVE who’s here.

There was no other information besides those five words but Aelin knew, she knew who Lysandra was talking about. Her stomach twisted as she pushed through the door and she couldn’t tell if it was the warmth of the fire or her anxiety that warmed her cheeks. The sound of chatter and laughter drew her attention and she could see all her colleagues standing around, drinks in hand and mingling. Like a moth to a flame her gaze zeroed in on the one man she was not expecting to see.

Dressed in a crisp white dress shirt and grey pants, sleeves rolled up to his elbows and looking effortlessly handsome as he always did, was Rowan. He didn’t notice her and Aelin bit down on the need to hide before he did. She just needed to disappear into the crowd and effortlessly ignore him. 

Aelin slipped off her coat and draped it over her arm, walking over to the gathered party. She was just on the edges of it when Rowan noticed her.

“Shit,” she muttered under her breath. She quickly turned before she could read the expression on his face, she needed to come up with some kind of plan—and fast. Aelin glanced over her colleagues and spotted her saviour. A man who was down for anything, and despite being friends with the both of them Aelin knew he would do whatever she asked.

Plastering a smile on her face Aelin hurried the last few steps towards her target which would be interpreted as excitement. When she was close enough her hands rested on his forearm, steadying her as she rose up on her toes to kiss him on the cheek. 

“Pretend to be my date,” Aelin said, wiping away the slight lipstick residue from his cheek.

Fenrys peered down at her with a perplexed look that quickly turned into enthusiasm. “Sure thing, I got you.”

Aelin sighed in relief. “You’ve saved my life.’

Fenrys gave her a perfectly flirtatious wink. “Always happy to help. Would you like a drink?” 

Aelin nearly groaned. “Desperately.”

Fenrys stepped away, putting a hand on her lower back as he circled her on the way to the bar. As soon as he was gone Lysandra sidled up next to her, dressed in a form fitting, knee length, one shoulder, green velvet number. She looped their arms together, bringing them closer so she could whisper. “What was that?”

“Hey, we’re matching,” Aelin diverted, nodding down at her own green dress she’d chosen for the evening. 

But Lysandra was not going to be so easily distracted. “That was nowhere even close to the answer to that question.”

Aelin knew she wouldn’t get away with not answering and tossed her loose hair over her shoulder, standing a little taller. “Fenrys is now my date.”

“Oh, I see,” Lysandra said, nodding sagely. “And that wouldn’t have anything to do with the sudden reappearance of a certain someone, would it?”

Her best friend was privy to everything that had gone on. Lysandra was the only one to have heard about Aelin’s feelings about being abandoned by the man she might very well be falling in love with. Aelin had gone back and forth and around in circles so many times trying to figure what had happened, then more importantly how she felt about it. Lysandra had listened and given advice, so knew how much Rowan’s appearance had rattled Aelin even as she took the contrary path. 

“Of course not.”

“Well, you do what you have to do. A little bit of jealousy never hurt anybody,” Lysandra said. 

“Precisely,” Aelin said as she sent a glowing smile Fenrys’ way as he approached with their drinks. As he got closer Aelin disentangled herself from her best friend and swapped her physical closeness to her date. She wrapped a hand around his waist and took her drink. Fenrys played the part perfectly, casually relaxing into her touch brushing his thumb at a respectful position on her hip.

“Do I get to know what all this is about, or?” Fenrys asked, shooting a curious look over the rim of his glass. 

“Maybe later,” Aelin said in hushed tones, not wanting to risk being overheard. “But for now, you are my date.”

“Boyfriend?” Fenrys was sounding a little too keen. 

“Mmm, almost,” Aelin hesitated. She glanced at Rowan who was looking over at her and doing a very poor job at hiding it. Her reaction was to lean into Fenrys a little more, a hand lifting to his face to brush one of his stray curls out of his face. “We’ll see how we go.”

Throughout the night they both played their parts perfectly. Fenrys was doting and attentive, he always had a hand on her, making sure they looked like they were here together. If any other colleagues had questions they kept quiet. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves enough to not worry about anyone else’s business. Aelin was on her way back from the bathroom and searching for her fake date when she got distracted by some kind of clatter coming from the kitchen and ended up walking into a body. In her towering heels she swayed a little but that body also had an arm, and it reached out to stop her from falling on her ass. 

“Sorry, Aelin.”

Oh no.

Dread filled her body as she recognised the voice, and considered running. She had expertly avoided him all night and then now because of one moment of distraction it had been ruined. She would have circumnavigated her way around him instead of walking into his stupidly solid body. 

“It’s fine,” she muttered.

Rowan must have realised that he was still holding onto her, and almost gingerly let her go. Aelin pointedly ignored every emotion that abrupt gesture made rise up. She didn’t know where to look, but she certainly didn’t want to look at him, so she chose up. 

Oh. Gods. No, no way was she committing to this and she needed to move before someone else noticed. Everyone was tipsy enough that they would insist. Whoever decided hanging mistletoe was a good idea needed a brutal form of punishment. And looking at Rowan now… she knew that look in his eyes. He was contemplating the godsdamned tradition. She would bet her Yulemas bonus that the next words out of his mouth would be asking for permission. Aelin needed to flee, with dignity, and she couldn’t quite work out how to do it. 

“There you are, Princess,” Fenrys’ smooth voice came from behind her as his arm snaked around her waist. Aelin literally sighed in relief. “And would you look at that.”

As Aelin turned into Fenrys’ embrace she followed his gaze upward to the tastefully tied sprig hung from the ceiling. 

“May I?” Fenrys asked under his breath. 

“Yes,” Aelin answered just as quietly. 

Cupping her cheek Fenrys lowered his mouth to hers. Slow enough that Aelin could change her mind, but not so slow it made it look weird. His lips were warm and steady, and she had to hand it to the guy, he was a good kisser. More than that he made sure it was quite the show for anyone—just maybe the person closest to them—who might be watching. Fenrys even went as far as giving her just the smallest of dips, a broad hand on her back to keep them steady. She had to hand it to him, he was putting on a show in the very best way. She was sure from the movement of his lips that it probably looked like he was devouring her face too. 

The kiss ended and Fenrys righted them, giving Aelin a sly wink along the way. She couldn’t help it, she turned to see Rowan’s reaction. She sensibly expected to find that he had fled the scene. To her petty delight he hadn’t, he was just glaring at them with an expression of confused shock. Then he shook his head, walking away and straight to the bar. 

Aelin turned to her partner in crime who was looking very smug. “Thanks for withholding the tongue.”

“I am nothing if not a gentleman,” he replied.

That made Aelin laugh and she hugged her friend in gratitude for upholding his reputation for being down for absolutely anything. 

“Come on.” Fenrys said, giving her shoulders a squeeze. “Let’s get you a drink.

It was two drinks later when the flow of the night was disrupted and brought to a very abrupt halt. Aelin was at the bar when there was an almost simultaneous reaction as everyone received the same message at the same time. Aelin read the alert and was mildly thankful she had a legitimate reason to cut the night short. 

SEVERE WEATHER WARNING: BLIZZARD CONDITIONS EXPECTED. SEEK SHELTER SOON IN PREPARATION.

There was a lull while everyone processed and then everything restarted as they planned their next moves. Not having her car here, Aelin was in a slight bind. She quickly brought up the Uber app but the drivers were all shutting down their cars so that they could stay off the roads and bunker down. Aelin’s masterful plan of getting a ride had backfired, and she didn’t exactly live near anyone else in attendance. Aedion, who was her best bet, had left about an hour ago. Her only option now was to beg for a lift. Fenrys, as her fake date, seemed the best place to start. She looked for him in the crowd and spotted him at the table they had been occupying while they ate the steady stream of nibblies that had been served throughout the night. 

“Can you drive me home?”

“Sure thing, babe,” Fenrys said. 

“You live in the complete opposite direction,” Rowan said without an invitation to the conversation. Aelin hadn’t even noticed that he was standing there. 

“Yes, thank you for pointing that out,” Aelin said, dismissing him. 

“Let me take you so Fenrys can get home before the weather gets too bad,” Rowan added. 

“Don’t hate me, Aelin,” Fenrys said quietly and grimacing. “But he has a point.”

“Some date you are,” Aelin threw back at him. 

Fenrys tried to give her a smile but the glare she was shooting at him must have been making that difficult. “Misty doesn’t like snow storms.”

“Low blow, you know Misty is my weak spot,” Aelin said, voice resigned. Misty was a white husky and a complete baby. She hated being left alone, and Aelin knew that in this weather her anxiety would rise. Despite her substantial size, that dog was as soft as a marshmallow, which with her winter coat he closely resembled. 

Fenrys stooped down to give her a kiss on the cheek. “I’m sorry, Aelin. If he tries anything just kick him in the balls and kick him out of the car. He’s cold-hearted enough that he’ll survive.”

And didn’t Aelin know it.

She tried not to let her disappointment and anxiety show as she smiled at Fenrys. “Thank you for a lovely evening.” 

Fenrys gave her a wink as he picked up his jacket from the back of the chair. “Any time.”

Entirely unimpressed by the situation Aelin turned around to address Rowan. “Fine. Let’s go.”

She grabbed her coat and stormed over to the front door. All he did was fall in step behind, catching the door for himself as they stepped into the cold. In her rush Aelin hadn’t bothered with putting her coat on and was now freezing. What made the situation worse was that in her frustration she managed to lose her coordination. She got one arm in but the other refused to work with her and she couldn’t find the other sleeve.

The coat suddenly got lighter and there was a soft murmuring of, “Here.”

Just wanting to get warm Aelin allowed the assistance to happen. She didn’t bother to look at Rowan or say thank you, she just braced herself for the deteriorating weather. The wind sent the snowflakes around in thick flurries, and from the bitter and harsh chill in the air Aelin knew they were in for a bad one. Rowan was only a few steps behind her, and she waited for him to lead the way to his car.

“This way,” was all he said before he walked down the street. 

The snow was sticking enough that Rowan’s shoes were leaving imprints in the snow. Aelin followed them step for step, not wanting to risk slipping. Honestly, she wanted this walk to last forever so that she wouldn’t have to be alone in a car with this man who found her so abhorrent he couldn’t even offer an explanation for his behaviour. Probably. That was obviously the most logical reason. 

A ridiculous reason was that he had been abducted by aliens and had only just been returned to earth. 

Aelin was so caught up in her own thoughts that her high heeled boot sinking into untouched snow was her indication that they’d reached Rowan’s car. He was there, the door held ajar ready to let her in. She hated the chivalry of it, hated that she liked the consideration. Why couldn’t he just be a bastard and make it easy to hate him? All Aelin could do was ignore everything besides the need to get home. The door opening was a means to an end. Sitting inside the freezing car waiting for it to drive on the snow covered road was just the next thing on the list. Sitting in silence is what would get her home. She just hoped Rowan was in on the plan. 

Rowan started the car, all his attention on the precarious conditions outside. It seemed they were on the same brainwave because he didn’t say a word and Aelin chose to distract herself on her phone. She shot off a message to Lysandra to explain the awful situation she has been left in thanks to her early departure and then she checked the weather. They were in for a serious storm tonight, and it was looking like it might shut the city down tomorrow as well. That at least meant tomorrow she could wallow in self pity alone. 

At times Aelin knew Rowan was glancing her way, she could see him in her peripheries but not once did she fall for the bait. If he didn’t have the balls to start a conversation she wasn’t going to give him any help on the matter. Aelin just started counting down the minutes until she would be safe and home.

Twenty minutes later and they’d done it. All the way out to Aelin’s tidy little house neither of them had said a single word. Rowan pulled into her driveway, his headlights the only thing illuminating the front facade of her house. Aelin must have forgotten about her porch light on her way out the door. From the look of it the snow was already a few inches thick. The flashlight on her phone would have to be her trusty companion. Because she wasn’t entirely devoid of manners she wasn’t going to leave without thanking Rowan for going out of his way. 

“Thanks,” she muttered quickly. 

Before she could even get her hand to the handle Rowan replied, “let me walk you to the door.”

Aelin was gaping as he got out and turned the torch on his phone. She got out of the car before he could come around and get her himself. Then she couldn’t help it, she slammed the door harder than she should have. Rowan didn’t say a word to her the entire trip and now he was trying to be the nice guy and walk her to her door? She’d had enough. Aelin wanted him gone but she also wanted some kind of explanation because this cold to lukewarm was beyond frustrating. 

Marching past Rowan with her own phone out, Aelin blindly grabbed her keys out of her handbag. It was small so that was easy, and she had them in hand as she stomped up the wooden steps of her front porch. The porch was screened in so it offered some reprieve from the weather. Rowan was considerate enough to angle his phone so that she could see what she was doing and in moments her front door was unlocked. 

“Goodnight,” Rowan said, his obligations discharged. 

That was when Aelin broke. She nudged the door open just so she could reach on and flick on the porch light. Rowan had already started his descent into the night but she wasn’t about to let him get away that fast. 

“Hey,” Aelin nearly shouted. “What is your deal?”

Rowan stopped just on the edge of the porch, then took another step forward to stop the snow from falling on him. “I didn’t want you to fall in the dark.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.” Aelin willed her emotions in the direction of anger. “What did I do that made you disappear for weeks and then you come back and there’s still nothing?”

Emotion flashed across Rowan’s face, and his mouth tightened. “It wasn’t you.”

Aelin scoffed. “That’s lovely to hear and I totally believe you.”

“I’m not lying.” 

“Why, Rowan?” Aelin asked, her voice coming out with a finality that told him if he didn’t answer her now he wouldn’t have another chance.

Rowan stepped forward a little more, fully under the protection of the porch roof now. “It was my ex.”

“Your ex?” Aelin’s voice was incredulous. “Ah-uh. That’s reassuring.”

“Please, just listen.” Rowan’s fisting tightened, showing the tension in his body. 

But Aelin could not suppress the bitter resignation that was overwhelming her. “No, say no more. I’m a smart girl. I can put two and two together.”

She was more than obviously on her way into the house, because she’d heard enough. Hearing the confirmation from Rowan’s mouth just might obliterate what was left of her heart. Seething anger was her best defence, she couldn’t let him have the upper hand. Freedom was within reach—Aelin’s hand was on the door—when there was a gentle touch on her shoulder. A voice inside her head told her to ignore it, to just step inside her house and give the door a well deserving slam right in Rowan’s face. For some godsdamned reason she chose not to listen to that angry but highly sensible voice. Aelin turned, taking in Rowan’s hesitant features in the grey light. 

“Can you just hear what I have to say?” Rowan all but pleaded. Aelin nodded, watching as the man in front of her sighed heavily, readying himself. “Turns out right before my ex and I broke up she got pregnant, and she didn’t tell me. I have a daughter, her name is Ivy and she’s nearly two. I left because I went to Doranelle to meet her and sort everything out. You didn’t hear from me because I didn’t know how to process any of this. All I knew was that I needed to get on a plane and meet this child I didn’t know anything about, which is what I did. And I’m sorry for whatever pain that caused you.”

Aelin was speechless, she could only stare at Rowan while emotion flooded him. She hadn’t expected this. When he’d said ex she had expected that they had come back into Rowan’s life, and that old flame had rekindled, not that. 

“Oh,” was all she managed to say.

“I’m sorry for what happened, Aelin,” Rowan said. “It wasn’t what I wanted for us, but I didn’t know how to navigate through it all.”

For a moment Aelin just contemplated the news. Rowan had a kid, a daughter—nearly two according to him. It was a lot to take in, and there was one thing she kept coming back to. It was most likely due to her simmering anger, but she and Rowan had been friends until they took the plunge into something more, so Aelin couldn’t help but ask herself why hadn’t he told her? She’d been devastated, and she couldn’t let that go.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Aelin said quietly. 

“I…” Rowan hesitated and looked out into the dark. “I don’t have an answer for you.”

“You need one, Rowan.” Her anger had free rein now that the shock had worn off. “You left me hurt and wondering what I could have done to drive you away. You could have said anything, just one little thing and I would have been fine. I get what you’re going through is hard but you didn’t need to shut me out.”

“You’re right,” Rowan said simply.

“Great, glad we cleared that up.” Aelin felt her emotions rising as she spoke, and she didn’t want to cry in front him. “You should go.”

“I will,” he said, but he didn’t go just yep. “I’m sorry, again.”

“Thanks for that, means a lot,” Aelin said, the sarcasm dripping from each word.

Rowan straightened, anger flashing across his features, but besides a slight narrowing of his eyes he offered her no other reaction. Aelin didn’t say goodbye as she went into her house, leaning on the door to shut it. She thought she could hear Rowan’s footsteps trudging through the snow, or maybe that was just her imagination willing him away. He’d offered her an explanation but that didn’t wipe away the weeks of simmering hurt. Yes, they had taken the next step in their relationship but more than that they were friends. And friends didn’t leave like that. 

Aelin shook her head and made for her bedroom, fiddling with the thermostat on the way. If a blizzard was imminent she wanted to prepare accordingly. She focused the heating towards her bedroom, there were no plans to spend any time elsewhere in the house. Maybe just the kitchen for a midnight snack to drown her sorrows.

She tugged off her coat and hung that up, and then her boots were next. Aelin was unclasping the chain at her neck when there was a knock on her door. At first Aelin thought she was hearing things so just froze where she was, listening and waiting to see if it happened again. It did, this time more insistent. 

The first thing she felt was confusion and then apprehension, because who would be knocking on her door at this time of night in this kind of weather? Aelin’s chest caved a little at the most obvious answer as to who it might be. Barefooted, she left her bedroom and walked down the hall to the front of the house. The porch light went back on and Aelin used the peephole to confirm her suspicions. 

“For fucks sake,” she muttered to herself and didn’t wait to all but throw the door open. “What is it?”

Rowan stood there, looking miserable and freezing. “My car won’t start.”

Aelin blinked once. “What?”

“Cold drain and it won’t start,” Rowan said, a jerking gesture of his hand towards the driveway.

Aelin peered around Rowan’s broad shoulders, noting how bad the weather had gotten. His excuse was plausible and there was no way he’d be able to find an alternative arrangement to get him home now. Aelin could not believe her luck. What else was this night going to throw at her?

“Come in then,” she said, stepping back to let Rowan through the door. 

He did as she instructed, with barely a glance in Aelin’s direction. Rowan quickly ran into a problem—he didn’t know where to go. So he ended up lingering in the entryway, kind of glancing around to get some idea of where he should be heading. Aelin shut the door on the blistering cold of the outside world and felt like she was setting a trap for herself. There was only one course of action here, despite her feelings she couldn’t leave Rowan to freeze in his car. Her couch would have to do. 

“This way,” Aelin said, leading him through the entryway and past her study to the living room. It was far colder in here because of the floor to ceiling windows that looked out on a stylish courtyard. Even with the curtains closed there was a definite chill in the air. It would only get colder too. “I’ll grab you some things.”

“Thanks,” was Rowan’s response. 

Aelin went off to her linen cupboard, gathering some sheets and her thickest blanket. While she quickly slipped a pillow into a fresh pillowcase she worked very hard to keep her thoughts rational. 

“Fine. This is fine,” she told herself. “I’ll just close my door and pretend he doesn’t exist. I’ll just pretend he’s off living his new life without me.”

Hugging the bedding to her chest Aelin went back to the living room. Rowan was by the window, peeking behind the curtains, checking out the weather. Aelin dropped everything in the middle of the three seater. Rowan let go of the curtain but he didn’t move from his spot by the window. This felt like a standoff and Aelin couldn’t work out what for. Did he want to say something? Apologise again? Or was he waiting for her to magnanimously forgive him for leaving her? If the latter was what he was after he was out of luck.

“If you need anything else the linen cupboard is just outside the bathroom,” Aelin said and left it at that.

“It’s nice to see you’ve moved on so quickly.” There was a definite tinge of bitterness to his voice. 

For a brief moment Aelin was confused, then she remembered her little game of pretend with Fenrys that seemingly was coming back to bite her in the ass. But she wasn’t about to yield defeat now. “Jealousy is never a good look.”

“I’m not jealous,” he said far too quickly. 

Aelin was relishing in the fact that she had got under his skin. “Enjoy the show, did you?”

“That’s all it was, wasn’t it? A farce to get a rise out of me?”

Rowan was always a little too perceptive for his own good. Aelin shrugged in response. “Sometimes you just have to work with what you’ve got.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Rowan asked. 

But Aelin wasn’t interested in continuing the conversation. “Goodnight, Rowan. Sweet dreams.”

The house was silent as Aelin made her way back to her bedroom leaving Rowan floundering with her sickly sweet goodnight and confusion around the whole Fenrys matter. The only sounds were the steadily worsening storm outside. Sleep was the ultimate goal and Aelin could only hope that Rowan wouldn’t haunt her dreams—his close proximity making that very likely. Back in the sanctuary of her bedroom she reached for her phone typing across the screen at breakneck pace and managing not even one typo. The message was intended for her best friend, but Aelin doubted she’d get a reply. Lysandra would probably be blissfully asleep by now. 

Aelin: Thanks to your early departure to do GODS know what ROWAN has ended up in my house. I blame you and your drunken horniness. 

Aelin threw the phone onto her plush blanket and yanked on the tie that held her sleeves up across her upper back. Apparently, she had pulled the wrong one, because all she accomplished was tangling it into a tight knot. Biting down on her frustration she counted to three before shifting her focus to her zipper. If she could get the dress loose around her waist it could just go over her head. Simple. 

But Aelin wasn’t as in charge of her appendages as she thought she was. That frustration was swirling with that anger and mixing into something that was feeling a lot like anxiety. That combination was fatal and the sharp pull she gave on her zipper only caused it to jam. The satin had slipped between Aelin’s fingers and no matter how hard she tried, the fabric wasn’t coming free.

“Come on,” she hissed, trying over and over again. It didn’t work. She was trapped and she vowed never to wear this dress again. 

Aelin moved over to her mirror so she could inspect the situation. Peering over her shoulder it was hard to tell the best way out. She was searching through the pleats when her disastrous night took yet another turn for the worse. The lights went out and Aelin cursed colourfully. What a time to get stuck in her dress.

There were three options for Aelin at this moment. One, she could rip herself out of the dress, but she liked it and had spent a decent amount of money on it. Option two she could sleep in it, even though that would mean being highly uncomfortable with it cinching at her waist and it would undoubtedly tangle around her legs. Number three was the worst but also the one with the highest chance of success. 

“Rowan,” Aelin called out into the dark, waiting for a response but not expecting one.

“Yes?” He answered surprisingly fast. 

“I need your help, can you come in here?”

There was no verbal answer but soon enough she heard his footfalls moving through the house. He was using the torch on his phone to lead the way and Aelin blinked as that white light came not the room. Rowan was still in his shirt and pants, but he had removed his shoes. For a moment she wondered what he’d planned to sleep in but promptly decided that it was none of her business. Instead She put her back to him so that he could see the problem, but still said, “I’m stuck.”

“Okay,” was Rowan’s very simple answer. 

Aelin heard him move closer and he set his phone down on the bed so that he could work. With a brief nudge of his fingers he shooed hers away from the jammed zipper so that he could work. She dropped her hands to her sides and waited. To help with whatever the problem was his fingers brushed the bare skin of her back. Aelin could have yelped from how freezing they were. It reminded her that her living room would be so cold without the heater to warm it up now that the power was out. Her bedroom would be the most comfortable room in the house. Lucky her. 

They both stood in silence, Aelin perfectly still while Rowan worked. His presence behind her was hard to ignore, she could feel the warmth of his body and it sent her rigid when he stepped that little bit closer to get a better angle. 

“It's stuck good,” Rowan muttered. “Just give me a second.”

“Alright,” Aelin said softly. 

There was a sharp tug around her waist and then the sound of the zipper giving way, and Aelin sighed in relief. 

“Hold on, I’ll get the top too,” Rowan added. 

The ties tickled her back so much that Aelin shivered and Rowan murmured his apologies. Soon enough that was undone too and she felt the sleeves threaten to fall off her shoulders. Aelin didn’t move, and neither did Rowan. There seemed to be an impasse developing, they were caught in a limbo. It was Rowan who sighed and stepped back, sighing as he did.

“I’m so sorry,” Rowan said, his voice sounding almost devasted. “I didn’t mean to hurt you like I did. It was selfish of me, but I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t sure how you would handle it. Suddenly I’ve got baggage and my life has completely changed, and there was the chance you would run. And I…” Rowan inhaled deeply. “I don’t want to risk this because I think I’ve fallen in love with you.”

Those words shocked the breath out of her. Aelin turned slowly, the white light of the phone torch lighting Rowan’s features. All the anger of earlier was gone, in front of her stood a man defeated. For all her claiming that they were friends, Aelin wasn’t being a great one herself.

“I just,” Rowan stalled again and ran a hand through his hair. “I didn’t want to be a shitty father. I couldn't ignore Ivy’s existence and keep going how things were. I’m sorry you were the casualty in all of this.”

“Oh, Rowan,” Aelin sighed. Yes, he had left her, but the alternative might have broken him further. The Rowan he knew would never shirk out of a responsibility that would have such lasting effects. That wouldn’t be the man she had fallen in love with. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologise, this is me. I fucked things up,” he insisted. “You have nothing to be sorry for, I shouldn’t—“

Aelin did the only thing she could think of to shut him up and that was to put her mouth on his. Rowan immediately melted into the kiss, his broad hands going to her waist, then sweeping to the small of her back to press her closer. When their lips broke apart their foreheads met and for a few long moments they just stood there, taking each other and the sudden development in. 

“I want you, everything that you are, Rowan. If you had not gone you wouldn’t be the man I know,” Aelin told him. “The man that I’m falling in love with.”

His hands tightened on her waist. “Aelin,” Rowan whispered.

“This doesn’t change who you are,” Aelin said, stepping a little closer. “You’ve said you’ve messed up but I’m seeing now you were doing what you could. I’m sure you’ll make up for all the shit you put me through.”

“My life is completely changed now, though. I have a daughter.” There was a touch of anguish in his voice, as if he was still tearing himself up over everything. 

“And I have a thing for DILFs.”

The inappropriate words were out of her mouth before Aelin could even think and the mortification she felt quickly melted away as Rowan laughed. The sound burst out of him, likely due to the suddenness of the quip. She was even rewarded with a brief but infinitely sweet kiss. 

“Goodnight, Aelin. We can talk more in the morning.”

Aelin wasn’t having that and she caught Rowan by the shirt, hands fisting in the white crisp material that seemed to glow in the harsh light. “You’ll freeze out there. It’ll be warmer in here, if we stay together. You know what they say about the cold and body heat.”

The offer was there, and Aelin hoped to the gods Rowan would take it. She had just managed to get him back, she wasn’t about to let him go again so soon. 

“The couch is fine.” The words of a true gentleman. 

“Stay,” Aelin pleaded, foreheads together and she teased him with the slightest brush of her lips. 

“You’re sure?” Rowan asked, his grip on her waist getting tighter.

Aelin dropped her shoulders, let her dress drop to her elbows. It was something Rowan didn’t miss, his eyes darting down to the lace that was newly exposed. 

“Stay with me, Rowan.”

That was all the permission he needed and then he was kissing her again. Using the grip Aelin still had on his shirt she pulled him down with her as she fell back. Rowan was more than willing, catching himself as before he crushed her. 

“The whole time I was away I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he said in between kisses. “That one kiss is what kept me going.”

Aelin could sense yet another apology coming, but she had had enough of words, she needed action. “I said you could make it up to me, why don’t you start now?”

The sound of Rowan’s low laugh against Aelin’s neck had her skin breaking out in goosebumps, even more so when his fingers dragged over her shoulders, pulling her dress down. Aelin’s breath was heavy and she could feel herself straining against the confines of her exposed bra. The phone light was still on, highlighting every curve that Rowan’s dark eyes were currently roving over. When their gazes met Aelin’s arousal spiked, from that look she could tell Rowan was a man with ideas and she was ready to be part of every single one of them. 

“It would be my pleasure,” Rowan said.

And hers.

Braced over her, he lowered his lips to her breast, teasing the peak of it through the black lace of her bra. Aelin moaned, one hand finding its way into Rowan’s silver hair and the other running up his back. She could feel his muscles shifting as he switched to the other breast. Holy gods, was he determined to make it up to her. Just with his tongue and teeth she was already a needy, writhing mess. From the smile she caught tilting up the corners of his mouth it was clear Rowan was enjoying himself too. 

Then he was working his way down her body, taking the dress with him. When he and the dress got to her hips Aelin lifted them and within moments all that she was left in was her matching lingerie set. 

“Beautiful,” Rowan said.

Aelin preened under the compliment, raising a knee slightly and stretched her arms above her head. She knew she looked good, she could feel it in the way Rowan’s gaze tracked her movements—the way his hand slid down to a heavy presence at her hips. Rowan was kneeling at the foot of the bed now, he’d got there without her noticing. What she did notice was his finger moving her underwear to the side and his mouth pressing against her core. 

Aelin was dizzy with pleasure as Rowan worked her with his tongue. She utterly surrendered to him, letting him guide her towards that peak that was approaching embarrassingly fast. Rowan didn’t seem to mind though, and he could read her like a book. He sucked on her clit and then flicked it with his tongue, making Aelin moan.

“Come for me, love,” Rowan said lowly, his voice rumbling against her sensitive skin. “I know you’re right there.”

He went back to work with a rolling sweep of his tongue and Aelin broke. Her hips moved of their own accord, riding his face as wave after wave of her orgasm was drawn out by Rowan’s expertise. When Aelin’s body went limp Rowan withdrew, and somewhere in her hazy brain she registered him removing his clothes, then he paid her the same courtesy. Clever fingers undid her bra with one hand and then her underwear was gone as well. Aelin had recovered enough that she sat up on her elbows and was able to see all of him. Rowan was magnificent, and Aelin took the time to look her fill, eyes catching on the hand that slowly worked his erection. Sitting up a little further Aelin moved up the bed until she was leaning against the pillows. Like magnets being drawn to each other Rowan followed, nearly prowling until he was hovering over her.

Aelin reached down, stroking Rowan’s cock, sighing at the silken feel of him. He groaned, his head falling to her shoulder. Impatient Rowan kept one arm steady to stop himself from falling on her, his free hand wandered over the dips and curve of Aelin’s skin. She gasped when his fingers dipped between her legs, still sensitive from his previous ministrations. 

Rowan’s lips brushed over her cheek, then the corner of her mouth and then graced her with a proper kiss. “You’re so ready for me.”

All Aelin could do was nod, arching her hips, desperate for him to fill her. Sense kicked in and she reached over to her nightstand, yanking the drawer open and pulling out a string of condoms. 

“I don’t think we’ll need that many,” Rowan said.

Aelin’s snort was unattractive but she couldn’t help it. This was part of why she was falling in love with Rowan, they could be real and raw in every sense with no threat of repercussion. It now included bad jokes during sex, and Aelin didn’t mind in the very least. 

“Never say never,” she replied, ripping just a single packet off. She tore it open, glancing up at Rowan. “May I?”

This time Rowan nodded, his eyelids fluttering as Aelin’s fingers smoothed the condom down the length of him. There was a moment where they just looked at each other, waiting for the other to make the final move. In the end it was Aelin, wrapping her arms around her his neck and kissing him deeply. And then something snapped. 

When Rowan surged forward, his eagerness knocked his phone off the foot of the bed, plunging them into darkness. Their lips never broke apart, Aelin moaning as Rowan’s tongue swept into her mouth. She never wanted to leave this bed, not when he could make her feel this good. Rowan eventually broke the kiss, lips tickling over skin until he stopped where her neck and shoulder met. Aelin opened her eyes to near pitch blackness, all it did was heighten her other senses. Every touch felt more intense, heightened by not knowing where Rowan would be next. He kissed and sucked at her neck, distracting Aelin from his other goal. A broad hand covered her breast, fingers rolling and then pinching her nipple. The noises that escaped her lips were unrestrained and turned desperate when she felt his cock at her entrance.

Before he could push in, Aelin pressed on his shoulder, and Rowan took the hint—rolling of her so she could roll onto him. In the dregs of light coming from behind her curtains Aelin could just make out the outline of Rowan’s body, her hands smoothing over his stomach to his shoulders. His cock was hard and demanding beneath her, and she took the opportunity to tease him just a little by rolling her hips over him. Rowan’s sharp groan echoed in the quiet room and it was enough to break all of Aelin’s resolve. She reached between them, lining him up and then sinking down on him with a desperate slowness. 

“Fuck, Aelin. You feel so good.”

Aelin whimpered at the praise, hips moving of their own accord. For all Rowan said—he felt just as good. From then they moved together, Rowan thrusted up and Aelin ground down on him, each movement feeling delicious and decadent. Hands travelled where they would, teasing and soothing simultaneously. The coil within Aelin wound tighter and she chased that feeling. She felt Rowan’s hand on her stomach, pressing down and then sliding up her body, between the valley of her breasts. Naively Aelin thought he would stop there to taunt and tease, but he didn’t. His palm cupped her cheek, thumb brushing over the crest of it. 

“I love you,” Rowan breathed, hips flexing and driving her mad. 

“Gods, Rowan.” Aelin was close, and it might be this moment of softness that pushed her over the edge. “I love you too.”

That coil snapped and Aelin cried out as pleasure broke over every nerve. Rowan was right behind her, moaning her name as he spilled himself inside her. Limbless, Aelin fell onto Rowan’s chest, her rapid breathing falling into sync with his as her body rose and fell. They lay like that for a long while, basking in each other’s closeness. Aelin truly didn’t want to let him go, it seemed too soon. 

Still, she didn’t fight him as Rowan got up and retrieved his phone. He easily found the bathroom because it was the only other door besides the one he had initially walked through. Aelin made use of the time by untucking the blankets and scooting underneath them. Without Rowan’s body next to hers she was starting to feel the chill. The whole joke about body heat might actually have some truth in it. Rowan was back within moments, joining her in the plush bedding. He had barely settled when Aelin was shifting closer, pulling his arms around her. Rowan chuckled, bringing her in closer still as he settled into bed. 

“Thank you for giving me a chance, Aelin,” Rowan said.

Aelin tried to be serious but she couldn’t help it. “After that I don’t know how—”

Rowan silenced her with a kiss. “Godsdamned smartass.”

They both laughed and Aelin let it be. She rested her hand over Rowan’s heart and let that steady rhythm ground her. “You’re mine now, so.”

It was quiet for a long while, until Rowan spoke again. 

“This won’t be easy,” Rowan said, pressing a kiss to Aelin’s forehead. 

She snuggled in a little closer, melting into Rowan’s embrace, returning his kiss to his cheek. “We’ll work it out. Together.”

At those words Rowan held her tighter. “Together.”

ONE YEAR LATER…

Aelin was in a panic. She had a plan and then that plan had gloriously failed her. What was worse is that it wasn’t just one big thing, it was a collection of lots of little things that threatened to push her over the edge. Today was meant to be perfect, it had to be perfect. It was too important not to be. 

It had started with running out of flour, which Rowan was on his way out to get now. And then Aelin had stupidly not been wearing an apron and spilled sauce over the pants she had planned to wear the rest of the evening. But her biggest plunder had had to do with the semi raw turkey that she was currently staring at. Aelin’s kitchen was equipped with double ovens, which came in handy for Yulemas dinner. Or so she had thought. 

Aelin had the baked cheesecake in one oven and the turkey in the other. When the cheesecake was finished cooking it needed to be rested in the oven for a bit. So Aelin had switched off the dial and let it be. That was fine, good even. But then in her flustered state Aelin had seen that the other oven was still on, got the them mixed up and turned that one off too and was quickly distracted by the boiling potatoes overflowing. 

She had successfully turned both ovens off and now she was left without a main meal but a very delicious looking dessert. 

Rowan found her staring down the turkey as he dropped the shopping bag on the counter. “Everything all right there?”

“If there was a power outage it would just be the icing on the cake,” Aelin said, not taking her eyes off the turkey that she was sure was mocking her. 

She felt Rowan’s hand settle on her hips as he came up behind her, pressing a single kiss to her neck. “We do okay in a power outage.”

Aelin batted him away. “Not now. This is a disaster. I can’t serve raw turkey. Everyone will be here in like half an hour.”

The three people who were responsible for Aelin’s culinary demise. Rowan’s parents were bringing Ivy over from Doranelle for an early Yulemas celebration. Over the past year Rowan had worked his hardest to be part of his daughter’s life, and he had succeeded with flying colours. He was the best Dad he could be considering the circumstances. Co-parenting wasn’t easy, but Rowan had flown over as much as he could to build a connection with Ivy, and she had come to Orynth with her mother a few times to visit. So this wasn’t the first time Aelin was meeting Ivy, but it was the first time she would be formally meeting Iris and Evander Whitethorn. They had chatted over video calls, but that was it. And Yulemas was such a big event in a nearly three year old’s calendar. Aelin wanted to make a good impression but that goal was slowly slipping from her fingers. 

“Why not just put it back in the oven and see how we go?” Rowan suggested. “Maybe they’ll get caught in traffic.”

Aelin sighed. “It was supposed to be perfect.”

Rowan wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her temple. “And it will be. We might just have to eat dessert first.”

A miserable sounding laugh broke out of Aelin and she twisted in her boyfriend’s arms so that she could bury her face in his soft sweater. He was right. When had anything gone to plan with them? Regardless, things always turned out right in the end. 

“Maybe I should invite Fenrys over, he can pretend to be part of our throuple,” Aelin said cheekily, risking a one eyed glance up at Rowan. His features tightened, his mouth becoming a thin line. “You know just to spice things up to distract from my own failings.”

“Absolutely not,” Rowan said with a seriousness that made Aelin laugh. 

“Fine, I’ll just put the turkey back in and leave it at that.”

Twenty minutes later the turkey had barely progressed and the guests had arrived. Aelin had changed out of the dirtied pants into leggings and a knitted dress and that was step one in the right direction. Ivy had burst through the door and Rowan had swept her up as his parents followed behind. The little girl was over the moon to see her dad and Aelin had a hard time denying the funny things seeing Rowan with his daughter did to her ovaries.

“Aelin,” Iris all but exclaimed, arms extended for a hug. Aelin let it happen, caught up in the genuine joy that was filling the room. “It’s so nice to finally meet you in person.”

“You as well,” Aelin said. 

“Aelin!” Ivy said and launched herself from Rowan’s arms.

Aelin caught her, kissing her chubby cheek. “How are you? Did you have a good flight?”

“Yep! I got to watch two movies,” Ivy explained. “I get two Yulemases this year, you know?”

“I do,” Aelin replied, setting the little girl down. “How lucky are you?”

Rowan’s family were only staying for a week, they would leave a few days before actual Yulemas so Ivy could spend that with her mother. Rowan had come a long way with his ex, Lyria, but Ivy spending a major holiday away from her mother was still out of the question. 

“Evan, how are you?” Aelin said as she kissed his cheek.

Evan smiled, holding up the bags he carried. “Pack mule, as always.”

“Oh hush, you,” Iris admonished.

“Presents!” Ivy said, eyes catching on the wrapped gifts under the tree. 

“Not until after dinner,” Iris said quickly.

Aelin’s gut sank. “Well about that…”

She divulged the whole story, and by the end her cheeks were red from embarrassment.

“Just dessert and no dinner?” Ivy deduced, her green eyes hopeful. 

“Well, no,” Rowan cut in. “It just looks like we’ll have dessert first. Dinner is still on the menu.”

Regardless of that clarification Ivy cheered, making all the adults laugh. Despite the imperfections the evening ended up being a success. They started with dessert, then presents and then dinner afterwards. Too distracted by toys and full of ice cream, Ivy barely touched her plate, but everyone else only had good things to say about the haphazardous meal. Rowan’s parents were lovely, and meeting them in person wasn’t the feat that Aelin expected it to be at all. It was late when they said goodbye, heading back to their nearby hotel for the evening. There was only one spare bedroom at Aelin’s house and it was furnished with a single bed, so comfort wise it made more sense for them to stay elsewhere. 

Aelin was tucked into bed when Rowan came out of the bathroom, dressed in the Yulemas pyjamas Ivy had gifted him. They were ridiculous, garish gingerbread men all over them, but Rowan wore them with pride. He slipped into bed beside her, not waiting to pull Aelin into his arms. 

“Was that as much of a disaster as you thought it would be?” He asked.

Aelin shook her head. “No. Still pissed about the turkey though.”

Rowan chuckled, his breath tickling her hair. “I think tonight was perfect.”

“Even if Ivy ate zero vegetables?” Aelin peered up at Rowan to wait for her answer. 

“Hey, it’s Yulemas. We’ll let it slide.”

Aelin was grinning when she settled into Rowan’s arms. They were silent for a long while and she even thought Rowan had gone to sleep until he spoke.

“Thank you,” he said into the quiet dark of the room, “for giving me a chance to prove myself and fix my mistakes. I couldn’t have done all that I’ve done over the past year without you.”

Aelin held onto Rowan tighter, thinking about everything that had brought them to this moment. They weren’t perfect, mistakes were made and there would be countless more in their future. But that didn’t matter, not as long as they had each other. They could face anything in the world as long as they were together. 

So Aelin was smiling as she said, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

~~~~~

Thanks for reading! I haven't had the time to fiddle with taglist yet. It's on my list of things to do