#We can't allow the government to take away our rights. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dre6ming · 8 months

Text

Playing for keeps

Chapter I

Masterlist

Pairing: Austin Butler x Y/n

Plot: Austin is the next in line for the throne, but he can’t be king if he doesn’t have a wife. In your country tradition says that a selection formed of 35 young women must be formed for the prince to find a wife. You are obligated by circumstances to participate against your will. What are the chances that you might be the next queen? None right? Right?

Warning: none

Word count: ~4000

"To heal the soul by the means of the senses and the senses by the means of the soul" or something like that, is what Oscar Wilde said to make me really understand why something so simple as feeling the bristles of my brush stroke the rough surface of the canvas. My lines look a little jagged today, my hand keeps shaking and no matter how many deep breaths I take, the rock sitting on my chest hasn't gotten any lighter.

Thirty five, what a strange and odd number, why so many? Why not more or less? Did they have a mathematician who centuries ago did the math for them and concluded that thirty five was the lucky number to find a wife out? I take a deep breath as the word "wife" bounces off of the walls of my skull. It's not just a wife, it's the future queen.

It's been a little more than 30 years since the last selection, when queen Lori was selected out of the bunch by King David and now the result of their successful selection, their son, prince Austin, is about to have his very own selection. All of the girls in the kingdom between the ages 18-22 were asked to submit an entry into the competition, to hopefully end up being the princess of the kingdom and the future queen.

Emphasis on the word "asked" , we were not obligated to do it, at least not by our government, our parents however? Well the forced me to apply, dragged me down to the office where the applications were collected and made me sign up.

"Y/n it's time, come come sit!!" My mom shouts for me and I put down the paint brush, wiping my hands on a rag, brushing back some hair as I make my way to the very small, very crowded living room. My mom , dad and all my 5 siblings are spread around the tv, watching it like hawks. "Come sit!" Mom pats the spot next to her on the couch and I squeeze between her and my older sister.

I can't help but feel angry at the whole situation, my parents live in a poorer side of the country and the fact that they had 7 kids did not help, I'm right in the middle, being the 4th to be born, my older siblings, are married off to their own households where the also pop baby after baby, that is except for one of my eldest siblings, my sister Hannah, who's the reason why mom put me into the selection in the first place.

To back track a bit and explain, my parents met and got married when they were 20 years old, my brother Josh came a year later, he's now 26 married and expecting child number three, his income already stretched thin. Then came Anna, she's 24 she married in a more stable family, but with baby number two, turning into babies number 2 , 3 and 4, yes that's triplets that she's having, money is low. Mark, 22 now, not married, he's actually, well we don't know, he ran away with a girl from around here, we haven't heard anything in years and since we barely have time to live our own lives and win enough for a living, we've put him aside. My sister Hannah, 22 as well, she's Marks twin, she's supposed to marry, but the guy she chose is from a family of twelve and they have little to no money.

Then there's me, Y/n, 20 being auctioned away in the hopes that the weekly allowance my family will get for my participation would be enough for my sister's wedding and some other things for my youngest siblings. After me my parents had kids 2 more times, Kyle 14 and then the other set of twins, this time identical Tana and Lane, 10 years old.

My mom works as a nurse and my dad is a retired guard from our region. Money is low so we all have to work, but with 2 siblings out of the house and one waiting to marry, we lost working hands. I sell paintings on commission and I also work at the local bakery to try and make some extra money, but it's not enough to support me, mom and my younger siblings. Which is why I was forced by mom to join the selection, the family of the girl competing gets a weekly allowance for as long as she stays in the game, not to mention the chance of actually being queen.

As names are being drawn on tv I can feel everyone in the room tense as the 34th girl gets called out and it's not me, I had 34 chances and I lost them all, now I get one more, but I hope I'll lose again. I don't want to go, I don't want to meet the prince or be his wife, I'm not meant to be queen, I'm just not.

My breath gets caught in my chest as the host, Lucas, puts his hand back in the bowl of names. My ears are ringing as he read the name and I almost faint seeing my picture there. "You got it, hon, good job!" Mom says and all of my present siblings start to chant my name, happy for me. I can barely hear them though, so I get up with tears in my eyes, brushing everyone off, walking out, out of the room, out of the house.

My bare feet, touch the sharp gravel, but I can't give into the pain, all I know is I need to run, run for now, or at least until tomorrow when the people from the palace will be at my door to package me up and send me to their prince. Staring out into the midnight sky, I could see everything I had being ripped apart, I didn't have much, but I had enough. Dropping to the ground and letting the cold grass soak my thin cotton dress, I close my eyes, scared to death about the outcome of what I had just gotten myself into.

The next time I open my eyes, two guards from the royal guard stand in my door and my mom hands me a bag I didn't pack, pushing me out the door. I take one last look back at the people I'm leaving behind and I tell myself I have to at least make it a few weeks, so that my sister could use the money for her wedding, then I'd come back and move to a richer part of the country, where I wouldn't be able to ever see my family. Those are the rules, after you get into the game, when you live you have a higher status and income so they move you and you can no longer interact with your past the way you used to.

Watching my step getting out of the car that took me from the airport to here, I take in the palace, with it's high towers and beautiful architecture. People are outside, forming a pathway for us to walk as they chant different names of other girls who also got selected. I am so out my element here, the dress my mom picked for me was too tight and itchy, the high heel shoes hurt my feet and my hands were sweating too much. "Here it goes!" I say under my breath stepping forward and into the unknown building. The inside even more beautiful than I could describe, high ceilings with crystal chandeliers, gold accents and mahogany furniture, underneath my heels white marble floors.

"Ladies! Welcome, I am Silvia and I'll be you're etiquette advisor and teacher, I'll also be your voice here, anything you need, you ask me and I'll make it happen if it within my powers. You will now be less to yours rooms where you will meet your maids, they will help you with hair, make up and clothes and anything else you might need. Dinner will be served in your rooms tonight and breakfast is at 7 am tomorrow, after breakfast you will each get to talk with the prince and get to know him. I've left some pages on your beds with instructions about tomorrow as well as the schedule of our classes. Good evening going forward!" The tall blonde woman left our sight walking gracefully in her long gown. I wonder if I'll ever be like her? Back so straight, shoulders so strong, hair so put together, make up so natural yet so beautiful, voice so clear, everything about her spoke volumes on everything I was not. I don't know how they expect me to last a day here.

In my room, I stand and wonder how can a place for one person be the size of my home which currently houses 7, now that two of my siblings had moved out. "Lady Y/n!" Two petite women curtesy in front of me, they look like sisters, about the same age as me, but one of them looks a bit older. "Just Y/n" I lick my lips fiddling with my fingers. The older one nods, smiling. "A-and you are?" They seem confused by my question. "Your maids lady!" The other one explains in a sweet voice.

"Yes no, I know, I meant, your names, what are your names?" I ask again hoping I'm not making them uncomfortable. "I'm Jules and she's my older sister Jane, we're very happy and honored to meet you, lady Y/n" I nod, smiling as well, as they start pacing around the room fixing things up. My eyes watch them move, mesmerized by how synchronized they are. "Can you stand and turn around lady Y/n? We have the water running in the tub, so you can take a bath."

I stand and turn so that Jules could undo my dress, then sliding my arms through the silk robe. "Just Y/n please!" I ask again, all these official things making me uncomfortable. "Lady Y/n, if I may-" I open my mouth to correct Jane, but she puts her hand up stopping me. "You are now a lady, his majesty will refer to you as such and you have to keep to these titles, at least until you get to know him better." I nod at her kind advice and follow her into the bathroom, where she helps me step into the tub, taking my robe away and checking the water temperature one last time. "Well relax lady Y/n, when you're ready, call for us and we will get you ready for bed."

Before she leaves me to my own, I dare to ask her one more thing. "Jane, is he nice?" I ask, this being the first time I actually my curiosity about the prince, spiked ever since I was selected. Jane gives me a soft smile, fixing the creases on her apron. "That's for you to decide lady Y/n, but his majesty, prince Austin has always been well liked by the staff." She leaves before I get to asks anything more and I take that as her polite way of saying that's how much she's allowed to say.

The bed here is so much softer than the one at home, the one I uncomfortably share with my twin sisters. The sheets are so soft and silky, it feels like I could turn to fast and fly off the bed. Jules and Jane left shortly after, brushing my hair back and helping me into my silk night gown. Even in this big room, air feels compressed and I want to walk, so I find myself putting on my slippers , taking a moment to look at them, I've never had slippers before. I the dark of the room I make out the location of the door and I turn the knob slowly, trying to make no sound.

I feel a cool breeze brushing my bare legs and I follow it thinking this could be the way to find a door leading outside. Only thing stopping me are the two guards standing in front of it. "Miss are you lost?" One of them asks, making me blush, finally so aware of the fact that I left my room wearing only my thin silky night gown. "N-no, I was wondering how to get to the garden." I say hoping my voice didn't sound too shaky. "No can do miss, you need to get back to your room." The guard tells me, his eyes staring straight ahead. "Please, I, I just need a moment." I beg, taking a step closer and that's when they both move their eyes to look at me, their mean stares making me shiver. "Not allowed, back to your room miss!" The other guard speaks.

Suddenly another set of steps are heard and the guards stand straighter. I don't dare to make a move and look at who it might be. "Your majesty!" They say in unison and the blood freezes in my veins. I've never heard him speak before, his voice sounds so clear, a bit raspy, but still sweet, like warm honey. "Lay her be!"

"Your majesty, we can't-" the guard protests. "I said let her be, open the doors!" They do as he says and I don't wait to walk out, the cold air hitting my warm skin leaving goosebumps. "Stay 5 minutes, then back to your room, if you won't go willingly they have my permission to drag you there." I stop and without turning around I say. "Thank you, your majesty!" My voice sounding like it's under water.

I didn't stay too long after I heard him walk away, running back to my room almost immediately after. Sleep came to me easily after that, but I still felt restless now as Jane brushed my hair into a braid. They put me into a floor length light green dress, with beautiful lace details all around the corset. I looked like a princess this morning when I looked at myself in the mirror and I couldn't believe it and then for just a moment too long I had questioned why I pushed this competition away so vehemently. That last thought however got send back to the depth of my mind and I was now patiently waiting for my turn with the prince, tormented by the wonder of whether he would recognize me from last night or not.

At last my turn comes and I get up from my seat, fixing my dress as I walk with my head down toward the table where he awaits for me. Sitting down, I still keep my eyes on the ground scared to look at him, feeling my heart thudding against my corset concealed chest. "Y/n? Right? Pleased to meat you, I do hope you're feeling better." His voice comes out first, breaking the silence and making me finally look at him. I had seen him on tv, but the screen did him no justice, the blue in his eyes is so electric, the gold in his hair, is so endearing, my fingers itched with the wish to have a feel at it, his pink lips look so soft and warm. Everything about him is inviting and the way he seats in his chair, leaned back with his legs crossed, his chin in his hand, makes him look so young and careless, which he is, being only 22 and a prince.

"Yes, your majesty, I'm quite well, thank you!" I blush deeply, my hands clutching the material of my dress in a stupid attempt to calm my nerves. Austin's eyes move to my hands and back to my face, a concerned look painting on his god like face. "Are you all right? Lady Y/n?" He asks, changing his position in the chair, leaning towards me. "If you're not feeling well, I can have for the doctor to come and see you later Lady Y/n." He says in a whisper. The word doctor makes me immediately let go of my dress and smooth down the creases, breathing deeply. "I am fine your majesty, it's all nerves."

Austin hums and I expect him to go back to his previous sitting position, but he doesn't, he actually leans a bit closer if that were possible. I can now smell his woodsy cologne and a warm fuzzy feeling takes over my body. "You don't need to be nervous, I'm just a boy, just as you are just a girl-".

"But you're not" I find myself rudely interrupting him. "You're going to be king some day and 35 women were randomly chosen to come here and allow you to peruse them. 35 is a strangely small number compared to all the women out there that could be potentially way better for you than any of us."

"Then why come here? Why put your name in the ballot in the first place?" He asks and I can't read if he's been offended by what I said or not. "Your majesty, I apologize!" I look away from him and I can't help but notice that the other girls are all watching us, just like I had watched the previous ones when they were up here. I can only imagine they are analyzing if he likes me better or not.

"Don't apologize, keep talking, I feel you have a point." Austin urges me and I bite my tongue. "Lady Y/n, my situation is unique, but I have no choice, it does not matter if the love of my life is someone outside these walls, I am not allowed to meet them. So please keep talking!" I feel sad for him, it's clear he's thought the same thing as me, what if his one true love is not one of us, but he's obligated to choose one of us either way.

"My favorite book, "Withering highlights" the protagonists were not allowed to love each other but they did and the impossibility of being together killed them, had they not ever met, they would've been able to love someone else and live. I think what I said is quite wrong your majesty, maybe neither of us will be the love of your life, but with time you might find someone among us, that you could learn to love and survive."

Austin opens his mouth to say something, but he doesn't get the chance, since it's announced that our time is up and I must go in order for the next girl to come. I get up breathless and do a very bad curtesy.

The rest of the day I can't help but feel like I'm sitting on egg shells, I knew I had let my stupid mouth speak before I gave to much thought, but something about him made me feel like I could speak my heart. Jane brushes my hair, as Jules arranges things around the room, taking the pillows off the bed and putting in place the last things for me to go to bed.

A knock on my door makes Jane jump as she brushes my hair and Jules goes to open the door. "Your majesty!" I hear Jules say and so I turn to see him, in all his glory, wearing the same dark brown suit from breakfast, only he's discarded the jacket and the tie, a few of the buttons from his shirt being undone and revealing some of his chest, the sleeves are rolled up and this look suits him much better than the previous. Realizing I was just sitting and staring, I quickly get up and curtesy. "Your majesty!"

"How would you like a stroll out in the gardens, Lady Y/n?" Austin's voice is calm and my ears are ringing, so I barely make out what he's saying, but I nod. "Yes, um Jules, my robe please!" I say, remembering I'm just wearing my night gown, which was very inappropriate. "Lady Y/n!" Austin extends his hand and I walk the few steps over to him, putting my significantly smaller arm around his.

He takes the lead and walks us out of my room and to the gardens. My thoughts are racing, I'm not stupid I know he could have every advantage right now to try and make an inappropriate move onto me, but he doesn't seem like that kind of guy, but how does that kind of guy look anyway.

"You're awfully quiet." He says as we walk through the dimly lit gardens. "I was waiting on you your majesty." He stops and turns to look at me. "Why so?" Austin asks blinking. I simply shrug my shoulders.

He sighs and licks his lips, walking further into the gardens without another word. The whole situation is rather spooky and I can't help the anxiety building up inside me. Soon we get to a table, decorated with candles and flowers, steaming cups of tea resting on it. "I thought we might enjoy some hot tea, it's a bit chilly out." He pulls my chair out for me and I sit down hesitant.

"Tell me more about you, your favorite book is "Withering highlights", what else do you like?" It takes me a moment to realize that he is being serious I can't stop the giggle that comes out. Confusion is once again shown on his face, but this time is accompanied by something else, the corner of his mouth slightly pointing up, he's amused too. "You really want to know?"

"Well I must find a wife somehow." The breath gets knocked out of me by his statement, for a split second I had forgotten why I was here, to play in the game of selection.

"I like to bake and knit, I make clothes for my siblings all the time, but by far my favorite thing is painting, there's something so strange about being able to use my own hands to capture a moment I time li you would a picture." He looks at me as I talk and something in his demeanor tells me he's actually interested.

"Picture, I, well I don't paint, but I do enjoy photography." He admits, his eyes glimmering with excitement. "Really? And what do you find best to photograph? Objects, humans or nature?" I ask, Austin blushing slightly. "All, I can't say I'm that good, I don't have enough time to dedicate to the hobby, but I enjoy it."

"I don't believe that you must show me one day, any kind of art is good art. I don't have any of my paintings here, but perhaps if I got the supplies I could paint you something!" I propose, trading the experience of showing off our works of art. "Perhaps one day." Austin says absentmindedly, clearing his throat before getting up. "It's late, I should escort you back to your room!" He says hastily.

I don't bring up how neither of us even touched the tea or what a short time had passed since we got here, the tea still steaming in the cups. Something about him has changed, he's much colder, stiffer if you may. No more words are exchanged between us, except the good night he rapidly wishes me, before walking away.

I'm left confused and with another feeling stuck in my heart, because for a moment there I actually let myself go and I got happy? Maybe, I don't know.

Sleep came to me very difficult and when I woke up this morning I had a headache, I didn't want to see or talk to anyone. As Jules is complaining that I had tangled my hair so bad in my sleep another knock is heard and my heart stopped. Is this hope I'm feeling? Hope that is Austin?

"Lady Y/n, a package for you!" Jane announces.

I get up taking the note from her hand, looking at the huge box that bigger than her. I open the small envelope and the first thing I notice is the very clean and neat handwriting.

<Lady Y/n,

I hope you will forgive me for leaving so hastily as I did last night, but I figured that our encounter wasn't quiet up to etiquette and in fear of damaging you or me, I thought it better continue some other time. Please forgive me and accept this gift, I hope you'll have a painting to show me soon enough

A.B>

Tags: @galaxygirl453

@rainydayz101

@samaraannhan20

@marlowmode

@myradiaz

@areuirish

@micaelainthe60s

@homebodybirkin2003

@pennyroyalcreep

@purejasmine

@strokesofstokes

@lanasfloridakiloss

@denised916

@kibumslatina

@macey234

@melodixs-blog

@shantellescrivener

@chewiethecatus

@guacala

@fangirl125reader

@father-of-2cats

@lucid315

@ashtag6887

@ilovehobi101

@richardslady121

@jensmithin

@julie181

@chrisevansgirl34

@ranaissingle

@onecrazydirectioner

@maria-1287

@austinbutlerssimp

@kingdomforapony

@acoolnight

@tarot-sybarite

@goldenmarygio

@frozenhuntress67

@anonyboo63478338

@littlewhiterose

@thefallofthedamned

@1eminicookie

@rose-deathman

@iheqrtaustin

@desitravelsblog

@prompted-wordsmith

@austinsvlrslut

@crystallizedth0t

@hertvgirl

@peanutbutterinacup

@austinswhitewolf

@saniyahgordon

@thatgirlthatreadswattpad

@slowsweetlove

@jaqueline19997

@formulapierre

#playing for keeps series #austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler fic #austin butler fanfiction #austin #austin butler love #austin butler fluff #austin butler imagine #austin butler fanfic #austin butler fans #austin butler x you #austin butler x fem!reader #austin butler fandom #the selection series #the selection

97 notes · View notes

for-a-longlongtime · 8 months

Text

On Dieter, Goya's Black Paintings, and Pedro on Talk Art

Alright y'all, it's Saturday evening, I have nothing better to do (I actually do but I don't feel like it), so welcome to my mini TED Talk about 'how to pay too much fucking attention to the Pedro cinematic universe'. None of this is new, and maybe everybody already knew about this, but I didn't... so here's a nerdy tangent courtesy of googling/wikipedia-ing.

I was reading a Dieter!fic (this one right here by @chaoticgeminate - go read her writing!) earlier today, which refers to the 'Saturn Devouring His Son' painting - that giant mural Dieter is working on in The Bubble:

(his brush isn't even touching the wall tho, ha)

The original 'Saturn' by Goya

The fic mentioned its part of 'The Black Paintings', so I got curious and started googling. I'm no art major or expert, so please allow me to just paraphraze the Wikipedia page. 'Saturn' is part of a group of 14 Goya paintings that are called Pinturas Negras/The Black Paintings. They "portray intense, haunting themes, reflective of both his fear of insanity and his bleak outlook on humanity" --this was late in Goya's life, and was connected to several illnesses he had experienced (and the fear of relapsing) and political turmoil in Spain at the time (post-Napolean war, changing Spanish government, etc.

Trivia fact 1: Goya actually made these paintings right on the walls of the Quinta del Sordo (so-called Deaf Man's villa) where he was staying -- so I love that Apatow had Dieter also paint right on the walls.

Trivia fact 2: while Goya was living in this villa, he actually became gravely ill (again) - not by a pandemic obviously, but it's hard to not link that loosely to the COVID period. He had never intended for these 'Black Paintings' to become public; "these paintings are as close to being hermetically private as any that have ever been produced in the history of Western art" (the murals were eventually transfered to canvas by other folks once he had moved out of the villa). Switching back to The Bubble -- I love how the tragic influence of Goya's illness(es) and art/things 'made at home away from the world, not intended for an audience' (so obviously, in a bubble) has that connection to the COVID experience and how many folks were suddenly homebound, along with the burden of illness in many ways (lord knows this all did a serious number on our mental health). In the movie, Dieter and the others do not want to go into isolation again, but that solitude is what eventually led him to painting on the walls in his room. This is not a 'grand discovery' of any kind, but I got a kick out of the parellels once I read up on it - and honestly makes me appreciate the movie a bit more, haha.

Not happy about another quarantine period.

Alright, more hyperfocusing after the cut:

Some googling led me to a post from last year by @nicolethered (gifs in this post are hers), and she included screencaps of the walls of Dieter's room (during that drug scene), which I hadn't even noticed while watching the movie. Upon taking a closer look, I noticed they're outtakes from other pieces of Goya's Black Paintings! I thought that was really cool, they sure worked on the details with that set (there's one more that's shown in a different shot but I can't exactly figure out which outtake that is):

First one is a mirror image from Two Old Men Eating Soup and the second one is basically Satan aka 'The Great He-Goat' from the Witches' Sabbath painting. Which IMO makes for fucking hilarious perfection a.k.a. trivia fact 3 -- because we all know about Dieter and his little emotional support goat, LOL. Excellent connection.

*insert sound bit from Hot Ones interview* : "Just let me love you!"

Anywaaay there's more. The Bubble was shot during Feb 22, 2021 to April 16, 2021, right? Pedro has spoken about how his input in shaping Dieter was mostly regarding his outfits (the Crocs, the robe, etc). But then I suddenly remember the Talk Art interview he had done in 2018, and how he namechecks 'The Dog' by Goya - and lo, guess which painting is actually part of the 14 Black Paintings? Yeap - the dog! So I checked the podcast and he was asked, 'if you could be any painting, what painting would you be?' by Russell. Here is the painting, and below it is what he said on Talk Art:

'The Drowning Dog' by Goya

"I think… it's a Goya. Yeah, old school. I think it's called 'Dog Buried in Sand' or something like that. It's so… I remember feeling it was such a visual representation of helplessness, in such a… come on, let's all admit that helplessness is a very recurring feeling for many of us, you know what I mean? When it comes to so many things. I guess… I was in Spain, in Madrid, and I was 20. And I went to the Goya museum. What's interesting about it is that the head of the dog is really quite small and sort of adorable, it looks like a stray mutt, and the painting - if I can remember it correctly - is very rectangular. There's so much above him, like the world just seems so big. It's quite incredible, isn't it? I know it's really sad, and sort of dark, and maybe I really like enjoy perceiving myself like..." (He gets interrupted by Russell, and then continues;) "Yeah, he's certainly not dying, it's sort of - it's a moment", (then interrupts himself with;) "Maybe he's totally dying, there's no way that dog is getting out of that. That dog is SO fucked. Anyway, that's the painting that represents my life". (All three of them burst out into laughing.)

If you're still reading this - I am impressed with your dedication to my silly little post, haha. Anyway, I just thought it was so striking that there basically is a straight line from the painting he mentioned in Talk Art to what Dieter is painting in the Bubble. Makes me wonder if perhaps he - or even Russell/Robert - had any input in that part of Dieter's backstory.

Thank you for attending my TED Talk on artistic analysis of Dieter Bravo during COVID, we now resume your regularly scheduled program for Saturday night. 🤪

(Have I been smoking because a local dispensary actually had 'Mando' bud? I sure as fuck have and I blame that for this post.)

122 notes · View notes

anexperimentallife · 6 months

Note

"anyone asking you not to vote is part of a far right psy-op" you can have any opinion you want about voting but please do not spread misinformation especially when most of the people who aren't voting anymore are marginalized communities who are tired of nothing changing. dumbass

As a member of a marginalized community who is tired of nothing changing (and who left the US but is being forced back by medical issues), I stand by my statement. The far right is excellent at weaponizing people's anger to their own ends, and you're a perfect example. "Part of a far-right psyop" includes people who have been unknowingly duped into supporting it.

Far right (openly): "We have to keep people away from the polls, because that's the only way we can win and force our vision on the US!"

You: "Doing exactly what the GOP openly says they want, letting them win so they can further victimize the already-marginalized, enact a nationwide abortion ban, finish filling the supreme court, other judiciary positions, and top military appointees so they can dictate for decades to come will really show those Dems! Sorry immigrants and asylum seekers, sorry people who need abortions, sorry, people who rely on social security, Medicare, and Medicaid, sorry people who want to be able to protest without being shot by US troops, sorry for people who want access to birth control, sorry people who need better wages to survive, but owning the Dems by refusing to vote is more important than your lives. And letting the far right win will also somehow convince the Dems that running far right candidates is a losing strategy."

I repeat: The far-right has stated over and over again that the only way they win is by convincing everyone except their base to not vote.

People refusing to vote in order to "punish" the Dems is EXACTLY what the GOP wants. They OPENLY SAY IT.

Another obvious fact I can't believe I have to state: Because of the GOP winning elections, we now have a majority far-right Supreme Court that overturned Roe v Wade.

What do you think they'll do if they regain control of the other two branches of government?

Even now, the GOP is openly talking about enacting a nationwide abortion ban. They're also blocking top-level military appointees so that those positions can be filled under a GOP presidency by GOP/Trump loyalists. You've seen what they're doing with loyalists in the judicial system. What do you think they'll do when they have total control over the military?

Biden is a piece of shit, yeah, as is Dem leadership in general. But we're choosing between one corrupt piece of shit and another corrupt piece of shit, but one who openly talks about eliminating the "vermin" (immigrants, dissenters, etc.) in the US, and a party who wants to eliminate what little social safety net exists. GOP policy has already resulted in the US having more poverty and income inequality than any other developed country.

It's in all of our best interests to keep the GOP from controlling all three branches of government.

You really think allowing a full-on neo-Nazi takeover, allowing a nationwide abortion ban, elimination of the already fragile social safety net, and letting the GOP fully take over all military leadership positions the way they've already taken over the Supreme Court is gonna "own the Dems?"

The people who run both major parties are going to be fine no matter what. This is a game to them. For some of us, it's life or death. If my daughter needs an abortion, or birth control, or wants to protest without having the US Army called in to shoot her I want her to have all of that and more.

Sorry you got pulled into the far right psyop. Blocking ya now.

61 notes · View notes

mossy-rainfrog · 3 months

Text

Build A Cowboy Round 5!

Hi good evening sorry for vanishing OK SO i mentioned in the tags of my first poll that this cowboy is not just going to be a vaguely historical cowboy, but from a Very specific time frame, because of the fic that his partner Javi exists in. That being said, there is a lot to unpack here with this! The time period exactly is 1841, the setting is Texas (because I am texan and we are predictable) and oh my god this is one of the most insane times for a character to be from texas 😭

Our cowboy will have in fact lived through the Mexican War of Independence (1810-1821), the Texas Revolution (1835-1836), tx's CRINGEFAIL attempt at self governing, rapidly approaching our annexation into the US in 1844-5, and then coming right up on the fuckign CIVIL WAR in 1861. These guys deeply understand the concept of "get me the fuck out of the interesting times, im sick of the interesting times". im so sorry cowboys, you can blame Herman Melville for this.

anyways yall didnt come here for a history lesson but you are in fact going to get one because i am insufferable first and an artist second :) and also as a note, race and backstory are always intertwined things but Especially when it is fuckign 1841 so. yeah exercise caution, there will be discussion of racism, medical close-calls, and anti-indigenous genocide. PLEASE ACTUALLY READ THE BACKGROUNDS BEFORE CHOOSING ONE! you dont have to read the sources. those are just there because i have autism. 👍

DETAILS BELOW THE READMORE BC I GOT WAYYY TOO WORDY⬇️

BACKSTORY A: Black Cowboy fled Texas* to Oklahoma with his family after the revolution, now travels up the trade routes breaking wild horses, passing along abolitionist messages, and assisting refugees. A miracle baby surviving a cleft lip with limited surgery and sustained permanent hearing damage as a result, he took up the trade of horsebreaking with flying colors, keeping right up with his older brothers. A sharp shot, keen eye, and a talented horseman, his best trained horses help him identify sounds that he otherwise can't hear. Loosely familiar with PSL, but primarily used a mix of lip-reading, localized/community generated sign growing up.

* After the US aided Texas in staging a coup against Mexico and declaring independence, an ordinance passed in 1836 that fully banished free Black people from the region unless they had personal pardon from Congress. This ordinance was not passed without pushback, and it changed shape and restriction over the years as people of color such as Joseph Tate, John and Charity Bird, Diana Leonard, Allen Dimery, and more all fought for their right to their own lands and lives. The law eventually settled into what was known as the Ashworth Act in 1840, which allowed free Black people to stay IF they had been residing in the state before 1836. It certainly wasn't the victory many had hoped, and even though many free Black persons in Texas were granted pardon to stay, like the Ashworths who the act was named after, many others were forced to leave after their allotted time was up, and were threatened with the future of slavery should they return. thank you texas history for being a vile piece of shit 👍

BACKSTORY B: Mexican/Tejano Vaquero from West Texas whose family has been ranching and cattle driving for decades. Has no interest in moving post-revolution, fuck you very much. If the borders are going to cross his family without asking*, then there's no need to cross them back. Technically lives with his family, but spends extensive periods of time away from home on cattle drives. Steady-handed, steadfast, quick to keep his herd safe. Miraculously survived a cleft lip as a baby and sustained permanent hearing damage** as a result, but that didn't stop his father from teaching him everything he knew, nor our man from taking to it like a fish to water. Knows more about cattle driving than you will ever forget.

*Some brief notes on the borders shifting and alienating people in their own rightful land.

**There was no official sign language of Mexico until the first Deaf school was established in 1869, but he and his family likely have a community-based one that works for them.

BACKSTORY C: Coahuiltecan (specifically Payaya)* cowboy, farrier, and leatherworker. Picked up the line of work as family was pushed to assimilate, one of the few still claiming Coahuiltecan identity at this time**, and has made a good living for himself and his sisters with it. Like the others, miraculously survived a cleft lip as a child but sustained permanent hearing damage as a result. Knows Plains Indian Sign fluently, and also relies on the direction of his horse for picking up sudden sounds before he can spot them. Tries to keep his work as local as possible to avoid separation from family for long, and whenever that is necessary, makes sure to come back soon.

*Note: Coahuiltecan is a term referring to several northern-Mexican and southern-Texan autonomous groups with distinct cultural differences. However, since Spanish and French colonizers lumped these groups together, an immense amount of distinguishing knowledge has since been lost.

** Also note: the Tāp Pīlam Coahuiltecan Nation is still very much around today (check out their site!) but nearing the mid 19th century, people at least claiming/listing this heritage on legal documents dwindled immensely for a variety of reasons.

#build a cowboy #polls #mossy art #described #collaborative character design #also yes i know cleft lip lost the last poll but i dont care. im including both. its my poll and i get to do voter fraud #anyways my god this is a fucking tx history lecture in a tumblr post. sorry everyone #i checked out 9 books from the library for this #but yeah heehoo!! here we goo again #id in alt

20 notes · View notes

jewishvitya · 6 months

Note

I see a lot of countries believing in the two states solution. What are your feelings about that? (I'm sorry if I used the wrong terms, I'm trying to translate from my native language)

You used the right terms! But I'll be honest, a solution to the whole thing sounds like such a far away idea when we can't even seem to push for a ceasefire.

Maybe someone who wants to see two states will have solutions to these problems I have. Maybe one state has even more issues. I mentioned before that my reading progress is very slow, so while I can tell you a lot about my lived experience and about Israeli mentality, when it comes to this I'm pretty ignorant.

But you're not the first to ask, so I guess I might as well.

My personal feelings about the idea of two states, from a place of being relatively uninformed about this aspect of things.

First, if we do that, we're starting from the position of Israel being so much more powerful, and Israel will find ways to maintain and exploit that power even if it changes form. For example, the fact that Gaza and the West Bank are separated. Israel, from the very beginning and through every day of its existence, meant the suffering and deaths of Palestinians. It's always had an expansionist mentality - when accepting lands given by the British, the plan from the start was to take it and expand from there. I was shamelessly taught this in history class. And Palestinians are treated as a security threat for existing. I don't know that you can rehabilitate that into a safe neighbor to a Palestinian state.

Second, this option allows Israel the opportunity to maintain itself as an ethnostate, and I object to an ethnostate as a concept. There's a Palestinian minister in the Israeli government who talked about it and I remember a Jewish minister replying to him with "so all the Israeli Arabs will move to your Palestinian state?" like. This is not talking about people in occupied territories, but about 20% of our citizens. To maintain an ethnostate, your only tools are ethnic cleansing and genocide, or manipulating birthrates, things like that. Israel is already very preoccupied with demographics, and I don't trust this not to deteriorate and become very fascist very fast even with a Palestinian state next door.

Lastly, even cities that are considered part of Israel and not the occupied territories have been stolen from Palestinians. And there's a reason indigenous people talk about landback. If we give a Palestinian family "permission" to live free in the West Bank without our military occupation, but that family comes from Tiberias... That's not really justice, is it? Justice would mean they're able to go home, they're able to travel within the land, they're able to enjoy the freedoms that Israel denies them. I personally don't see that happening in a two states model.

And I'm just a random person online, not even Palestinian myself, I don't know that my opinion matters. So I'm not going to tell you what the solution should be, I'm sure there's a lot of writing about this by Palestinians. That's also why I block reblogs sometimes, I don't want my takes on some things to be too loud, or my personal feelings to be too centered outside the personal space of my blog.

Push for a ceasefire. That's the immediate need. People are dehydrated and starving with bombs raining down on them. And then, once we addressed that, look at what Palestinians want and what they envision when they talk about a free Palestine and push for that.

You asked for my opinion. That's my opinion. Don't put too much weight on it please.

Ceasefire is the immediate need, liberation has to be the goal, and they decide what it looks like.

#riki babbles

21 notes · View notes

wri0thesley · 6 months

Note

I am so sorry if this is invasive and weird, but may I ask what you work as? I'm at the stage where I have to build my future and I know you don't have an age specified but you seem to be doing really well (at least from the posts we've seen, again I really hope not to be invasive) for yourself and your partner and 25+ is still young! Again, I hope this isn't mean or weird, I'm just curious. (and severely nervous. First year of college is ruining me harder than any fictional man.)

ahh anon i'm afraid that the answer is probably not what you're looking for!

for the record, i am 27, i just find getting fandom older a little scary, especially having it listed right there!!!

i actually intended to be a performer and a singing teacher (my degree was going to be in music & musical theatre); unfortunately, due to a plethora of reasons (mostly my undiagnosed autism, unmedicated ocd/depression/anxiety combo, a nervous breakdown and my partner's physical health declining) i dropped out of my degree before the end of my first semester.

for about three years or so after that i was severely agoraphobic. talking 'can't answer the door' agoraphobic; 'never left the house alone, and even when with someone only went to the doctors and therapy' agoraphobic, 'rotted in my bedroom in an absolutely non romanticised way' agoraphobic. i was on the equivalent of disability because i literally could not function. meanwhile, my partner, who lived with me and my parents was getting physically worse whilst i was mentally struggling (since then haz has been diagnosed with ehlers danlos syndrome, fibromyalgia, lipoedema, thyroid issues and a lot of other things; they have a lot going on). i DID access several therapies, had . . . a couple of very bad relapses, went under crisis teams and all of that stuff (i had occupational therapy too which was HONESTLY i think one of the most useful things and helpful things for me in the long run; i cannot imagine what i would be like if i hadn't had the occupational therapist the crisis team found for me).

(coincidentally, if you are an og jojo follower you probably remember how bad it was; i've said it a hundred times, but running this silly little reader-insert blog probably helped save my life at a time when i had almost no contact with the outside world. i couldn't leave my bedroom, but i had my blog and i had my little internet friends and discord server).

i have gotten a lot better.

haz, unfortunately, has not gotten better physically and probably never will. they need help with a lot of things most people don't even realise disabled people might need help with. brushing their hair, fastening clothes . . . when haz first moved in, they were doing the same dance-intensive college course that i was. we danced maybe three or four hours a day. nowadays, haz needs me to hold their hand and keep them steady when they go from our bed to the bathroom (the room next door).

so i don't really 'work' as anything. well, my therapist would tell me off for saying that; the uk government classes me as an 'unpaid carer', which basically means i am on call for haz literally 24/7 and they pay me the pittance that is carer's allowance (carer's allowance assumes you care at least 35 hours a week, and pays you the privilege of about 45 pence per each of those hours. if, like me, you live with the person you care for and do more than those hours, it gets . . . yeah. oof. the government unfortuately know that most unpaid carers are loved ones and family members of the person who needs care and won't just stop doing it, and they'd be in the shit if we did because trained carers are expensive, so they can get away with that - FUCK the tories, honestly.

i am EXCEEDINGLY lucky that i live in a cheap area of the uk, that haz and i are internet savvy enough to be able to access carers/disability discounts, that we are in rent-controlled social housing (which my crisis team helped find for us because living with my parents was taking such a toll on us both, woo!!!!), and that we've been able to access services to help on the nhs. i got my autism assessment and diagnosis; haz is under several pain management teams.

all in all, i'm happy. i'm so much happier than i was seven years ago when i'd dropped out of university and felt like a huge failure, because all of my life i was a gifted overachiever and i thought my self-worth was tied to my academic achievements (and as an extension, what roles i got in what shows and when and who saw me and so on). i don't have a lot of money (i am a bargain shopped fgbnkjgjnfb) but i know what i like and because i'm Older Now (tm) i've amassed collections of it.

i am absolutely sure that you'll boss college, anon! that you will find that thing that works for you (one day i would LOVE to go back and get my degree! pre-covid i had an acceptance for a creative writing degree and i was getting ready to go back to uni as a mature student, but haz's health got bad again and then covid happens - and now ofc i have my autism diagnosis i can access so much more help!). but even if you don't, you can absolutely find happiness without 'traditional' success.

i don't have a lot in the grand scheme of things. but you're right in that i am doing pretty well, in terms of where i am, and where i've been. i have my own little home. i have my partner of ten years who is my soulmate in every conceivable way. i've had experiences that make me feel so happy i sometimes cry when i remember them. i have my own little cat now!!! things still stress me out. but i have come so so far and when i feel down i remember that.

good luck anon! i believe in you <3

#nat.txt

29 notes · View notes

mugeesworld · 1 month

Text

Marine Sister x MarineFord…

Small crappy short fic I wrote a while back. It’s sorta rushed so sorry. Thought I would post it though cause I love a good angst. Especially with MarineFord. When the lady that raised luffy and ace beat the shit out of Garp BEST BELIEVE I STARTED CLAPPING. You would have thought I was a white man watching Saturday night football but no. I have never wanted to beat up a character more then I want to beat akainu.

Fem reader.

Context- this story is about what if luffy and ace had a sister that was a marine. That was almost at marine ford….

It was a sunny day.... Luffy, Ace, Sabo, and I were sitting in a tree, watching the sunset. "Hey y/n! Hehe!" Luffy giggles. I turn to look at him, starring into his big eyes. "We are gonna be pirates when we grow up! You should join my crew!" he says with a big smile. I smile back before turning to face the sunset again. My smile fading just like the sun has. Knowing I would never be able to cause of my parents. How could I when my own father is a marine?.... "Luffyyy you know her dad wouldn't allow that! You idiot!" Ace says smacking Luffy on the back of his head. I laugh at their playfulness. Would this be what it would feel like to be part of their crew? I think as I watch them bicker....

But that was year's ago when we were kids. I haven’t seen either of them since then other then seeing their bounty posters... Even if I haven't seen them in forever I'm still their sister right? Could they of forgiven me for becoming a marine?

My mind races with thoughts of the past as I stand looking over this hell.... I couldn't move even if I wanted to. My only orders are to stay put and not interfere with what's happening. After all...the government knows of my past with Ace. So they have to make me watch so I'll know pirates and marines can't be friends.

I look over at garp. He's nervous... And garp doesn't get nervous. He makes people nervous. But when it comes to his grandson I can't say I blame him. Almost as if he felt me staring, he turns his head. "Y/n you know not to interfere with anything that happens correct?" he asks. I lower my head looking at the ground. "Sir yes sir..." I say trying not let him see how I'm feeling.

And just on time... Here comes Ace. Being brought by 2 guards. I can't look. I just can't.... I think, shaking my head. They climb up the steps until they reach the top. The sound of chains rattling as they force him on his knees. Just then I realize my position. I'm a marine. I can't keep my head down I'll get in trouble. I clench my jaw and ball my hands into fists before slowly raising my head. Starring hard at the soon to be battle ground in front of me.

Then I hear it... "Y/n?..." Ace ask. I feel my stomach drop. Suddenly feeling hallow. That's aces voice... But it didn't sound like the little boy I used to know. I have no choice. I must respond. Closing my eyes I take a shaky deep breath. "Ace..." I try to say boldly but my voice ends up cracking at the end. I bite my lip and shut my eyes trying not to break. My body almost shaking.

For the next minute it's quiet. Almost as if he's letting me calm down before continuing. "I haven't seen you in years...I want to see you y/n not just the back of your head." he says weakly. My heart breaks. I feel like a terrible person and an even worse sister. I would be a horrible person if I didn't give him this. It's the least I could do for him since the boys life is about to be stripped away from him.

I take a deep breath before turning towards him. Our eyes locking immediately. We stare at each other for what feels like hours but it’s merely a few seconds. Both of us understanding each other worries and pain at just a glance. Then he smiles. I feel my eyebrows furrow and my bottom lip start to quiver. "Ace..." I whine, trying not to let tears fall from my eyes. And just like that he understood. "Y/n...don't cry. You're a marine. You haven't gotten weak have you?" he says teasingly.

My chest starts to spasm as I try not to laugh but I fail. I laugh as the tear fall down my face before stopping suddenly. "There... That's my sisters smile... You really haven't changed." he says smiling. In that moment... If he asked me to save him I would have done everything in my power to do so. Even if it ment my life would be taken. But he knows that.

"I'm sorry I didn't come see you... I'm your big brother and I was so selfish as to not congratulate you for climbing the ranks as a marine. But I'm here now. Even if it's the last time we'll meet... I'm proud of you y/n. You've became an amazing woman just as I knew you would." he says looking up at me.

Tears pool from my eyes as I try to stay at attention. My teeth clenched and my body shaking. I'm still his sister after all this time. "No...you and sabo are the best big brothers I've ever had. You were always here for me in my heart. I just wish this wouldn't be how we end up remembering each other in the end...." I say wiping my face

He smiles as tears fall down his face. "I'm glad think me so highly of me and sabo. I know he would be proud of you too. But this isn't the end for you y/n. It's only my ending. You have more life to live. My only regret is that I won't get to be here with you for it. But I know you will be ok without my guidance. I mean look at you now... But you're right. I will always be here for you in your heart.” He says. The more he speaks the harder it gets to contain myself. My cries grow louder and my body continues to shake more.

“Also y/n…. Please look after luffy. You’ll be the oldest sibling after I’m gone. So you gotta take care of him….” He says with teary eyes his voice getting shaky. I nod my head. “I will. I promise.” I cry out while turning away to go back to standing at attention.

“Oh yeah and one last thing…” he says…. “I love you sis” he whispers… I squeeze my eyes shut, trying not to cry again. “I love you too ace…” I whisper…

And just like that it was time. The cameras are rolling and all the marines are lined up to fight. I stand tall at my post beside Garp. Ace said he was proud of me so I should at least try to act like a true marine. The only way I could stay calm was by tuning out everything around me.

Then suddenly a ginormous boat emerged from the water below followed by what looked to be hundreds of different pirate crews. Whitebeard… I knew he would show. I try not to smile but I can’t help but feel relieved with his presence. If anyone could save him it was whitebeard. Pirates started hopping off the ships and charging in. Followed by the marines charging back. My heart ached at the sight. The ground below turned into a battle field. People were dying left and right from both sides. It was painful to watch and I know ace must be heartbroken seeing his friends die for him.

Coming out of no where a ship started to fall from the sky. First from the underwater and now from the sky? What’s next? Then I see it…. A straw hat. It can’t be… I watch as the familiar face falls from the sky before going to talk to whitebeard. I squint my eyes trying to see.

“No no no no! He can’t be here!” I scream, my heart started to beat out of my chest. Why are you here luffy? I can’t loose both of you…“LUFFYY!! YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW!! PLEASE!!” I yell before going to take a step but Garp grabs me. “You should have just listened kid… contain her till it’s been dealt with.” He says to the guards. “I’m sorry but it’s for the best y/n..” he whispers as 2 new guards come up the stairs and put me in cuffs.

“Wha-what! No! You can’t-! Please Garp…” I say desperately trying to grab him but the guards pull me away. As they bring me down the stairs ace yells. “Don’t touch her! Leave her alone damn it!” But is silenced by a kick to the stomach.

I thrash as the guards drag me by the cuffs attached to my wrists. Trying to get away. “Just stop… do you want to be executed like your brother? Huh?” One of the guards say while throwing me into a room. I look up at them from the ground. “What did you say?!” I yell, standing up. But they close the door in my face before I can say anything.

“We will let you out after the deeds done.” The other guard says before they walk away. I bang my hands on the door. Begging to be let out. But nothing. Only the sound of fighting and yelling. I lean my forehead against the door, trying to catch my breath. Ace… Luffy… what if they both die?? They can’t die. Neither of them…

“What do I do?” I cry out, sliding down the wall to the ground…

“ACEEEE! Y/NNNNN!”

Luffy! He sounds just like he did when we were kids. I think while smiling but it soon fades as I remember the situation I’m in. I curl into a ball on the ground. Tucking my face in my knees. I think back to what Ace told me… look after luffy…wait. “Look after luffy!” I yell. I made a promise. I can’t break a promise to my brother….

Yeah. And I can’t let my little brother get hurt. I stand up, a new found energy flowing through me. I don’t break promises…

I get as far away from the door as I can before charging at it. Busting through the door. I’m free! I’ll figure out how to get these cuffs off on my way outside. I run down the halls as quick as possible. Finding the closest guard office and their keys to unlock the cuffs “Powers are back…”

I run through the building till I reach the closest exit. Walking out to see the ground stained in blood and cover in bodies. I look around for luffy. My eyes landing on akainu. Looking beside him to see luffy. I nearly yell from joy when I see he’s ok then I see him… Ace….

“ACEEEEE!” I scream out. The sight of his lifeless body was enough to blur every bit of pride I ever had for being a marine. In that moment I didn’t care whether I lost my job or my life. The person who took away the light in luffys eyes and left a hole in aces heart was going to die or I was gonna die trying. I take off towards luffy. I was gonna get him away then kill that bastard like he killed my brother….

8 notes · View notes

ralexsol · 6 months

Text

Okay, so I just rewatched S1 of Loki. And since the last time I watched, so many opinions of mine have changed. Instead of focusing all on Lokius and their character arcs, I went into this viewing instead looking at Sylvie, completely throwing my initial dislike of her out the window to be unbiased.

And MAN, am I glad I did that. Because I connected to Sylvie on a WHOLE NOTHER LEVEL.

In my eyes, I see her as a trans allegory. Lokis are usually genderfluid, right? I mean, that's the impression I get - our main 2012 Loki, who's only difference from the Sacred Timeline was escaping with the Tesseract, is classified as genderfluid. And that makes perfect sense, he's a shapeshifter and all that, yadda yadda stuff that's already been said, love it.

But here's the thing. The thing that made Sylvie a Variant, to our knowledge, was that "she is a woman!" So, let's think about this for a second. She's different because she's STRICTLY a woman. Not genderfluid. She/her in her bio. And it finally clicked for me that she's... trans. Literally trans. AND THATS WHAT GETS HER ARRESTED BY THE TVA! She wasn't the right gender, she dared to do something nobody wanted her to. She was different, unexpected... a Variant. And she had to be annihilated because of that.

I know, I know, I'm just stating what all of us already know, we KNOW thats why she was arrested. But you have to actually think past the annoying "oohhh she's the only girl Loki great original idea Marvel" in order to sympathize with her character, because she is VERY sympathizable.

She's literally just a kid, living as her truest self. She's ripped from her family by essentially the government of the universe. She's taken to a trial that nobody walks away from innocent. But Sylvie is different. Lokis are the definition of chaos, the unexpected, defiance. And she's the most defiant of all, because she defied even the preset she was given as a physical person. Nah, she didn't want to be a man or even nonbinary. She was a woman, and they wouldn't let her be. That wasn't allowed. They would hunt her down just for fucking existing in a way that didn't match up with their perception of Lokis.

Her entire life was fighting against a system that wanted her dead. They would rather have order and their precious little clean, easy system (that in reality is harder to maintain than letting people be free) than to let her just fucking exist as she wanted to.

The resentment grows. Of course you want to take down the entire system. Of course you want to burn it all down. Because not only did the government hunt you down, they had already hunted down an infinite number of people just like you. People who didn't find happiness in what was force-fed to them. People who didn't want to tread down the only path provided.

Isn't that what all of us people in the LGBTQ+ community want? To tear the system to pieces, to start over anew? I mean, that's what I want. Because it's flawed right to the very core - at least, where I'm from (the USA), it is. It was made to keep rich, white cishet men in power. A system built from discrimination and power-hoarding cannot be reformed. And even if you tried, it would take too long. It HAS taken too long, and it's cost countless innocents their lives.

You can't undo all that trauma instantaneously. Of course Sylvie would burn it all down. Of course she would kill He Who Remains. Of course she wouldn't want the TVA to keep existing. Yes, there are people in the TVA now that want to change it for the better. Yes, she needs to open her heart and realize burning it down doesn't fix everything. Because you can't rip everything to shreds and not create something new in its place. Fighting tyranny doesn't just end with kicking the dictator out of power - you have to set fair rules to prevent the same thing or worse happening again.

I understand why she didn't want to come back. She had fulfilled what she thought was her only purpose, and finally settled down into the life she utterly deserves. But her story isn't over yet. She can be at peace with having created a new world in which the tyranny is over. In which everyone makes their own choices. In which she can be a woman and never fear time itself imploding. It's just hard to let go of something you've been holding onto for so long. You've been fighting to keep yourself alive and true, and it's hard to accept when maybe... you are winning.

You are not a Loki because you are Sylvie. You broke your guidelines so deeply that you are your own person. There is nobody like you because deep in your very soul, you are the truest Loki to ever exist. You defy. You survive. You and your glorious purpose, to smile and know you are a woman and nobody can tell you any differently. You are exactly whatever you choose to be.

THATS NOT EVEN ALL OF IT THOUGH. THERE'S MORE. And yes, it's about our main Loki and Sylvie's relationship.

I'll come right out of the gate: I've been a Lokius shipper since literal day 1, and nothing will ever change that. I don't ship Sylki and I never will, end of story. I don't see them as romantic at all. What I DO see, however, is looking yourself in the mirror and feeling love for yourself, having survived everything and still more. Let me explain what I mean.

The whole first season, Loki gets to know Sylvie and more of her backstory. And obviously they have the fun dynamic of being two "Lokis" (I hesitate calling Sylvie a Loki anymore) because they're both insanely arrogant and backstabby, yadda yadda. But Loki becomes fonder of Sylvie. Why?

Because they see this other version of themself that went through something so similar yet so incredibly different than them. They are still genderfluid - and bisexual - and they went through that journey of self discovery. They realized they didn't exactly fit the mold, classic trans story. But the difference is that while their family came to accept that and they got to live their life as themself, they see this distorted mirror of what could've been. They see a life where Odin and Frigga didn't accept them. They see the life they were lucky to escape, a life of hardship and a battle they never had to fight.

Sylvie was so brave. But she's been broken time and time again, and she's lonely, and she's never had anyone to care about her. It's you. She's alone and you've just been told by an old friend that you will be alone until the end of time. That you are unlovable. You are the same. You feel so much empathy and you realize something important.

You're looking at this beautiful person. A person who has endured so much pain, and she is beautiful because she is herself. She fought so hard to exist and she has never had a win and she's never had anyone who ever truly understood her. She is you but not you because she is herself.

It's a similar feeling to looking into a mirror and seeing yourseld as a child. Different but the same. Your lives as a whole are completely different. But you still face the same issues. You look in the mirror and the other you is broken. The other you, just like you, thinks they are unlovable.

But you know what they are going through. And you love them more than anyone ever could. You understand more than anyone ever could.

As someone who is on the aroace spectrum and struggles to parse if I'm feeling romantic or platonic feelings (I won't even get into that), I see the Sylki kiss as a complicated but understandable action. The idea of feeling romantic feelings towards yourself is something unfathomable as nothing really can equate to it in our world. I won't get into the morality of it, because honestly, the answer to that is completely based on subjective opinion, since it's an abstract concept. Anyways, my point.

My POINT is that Loki has a lot of feelings and doesn't really know how to express them. Also, like, I'm pretty sure Sylvie only kissed him because she wanted to trick him into letting his guard down to kick him back to the TVA lollll.

As for the end of S2? Well, after the incredible mind-boggling Ep4, I have no idea what way the plot will turn from here. But as for character arcs, I think Sylvie will come to realize that this new TVA can be a force for good. With a new code for keeping the timeline safe from multiverse jumpers who wish the conquer multiple planes - AHEM Kang or others -, and NO PRUNING INNOCENT TIMELINES, why not keep it around? It's a whole different system at that point. It's no longer forcing people to be exactly as intended. It let's them live out their lives however they want to, safe from existential threats.

Sylvie can sit in the back of her truck looking up at the stars in her McDonald's uniform, breathing in fresh air, and thinking about how good it is to be no longer the only one like her.

#loki #marvel #loki spoilers #sylvie laufeyson #loki laufeyson #loki series #whatsupray?#WHEW THAT WAS A DOOZY #Might make a post about Ravonna once I rewatch the first 4 eps of S2

11 notes · View notes

mariacallous · 3 months

Text

This week, as every week, Brexit enfeebled the UK. It was not a one-off disaster, like a fatal heart attack. Rather Brexit is showing itself to be a debilitating disease that never grants us a moment’s peace.

In the past few days

The post-Brexit trade talks between the UK and Canada collapsed. Despite all the promises of global Britain crossing the clear blue oceans and cutting deals with India, the US, Canada and China, we remain isolated.

After years of being too scared to actually take control of the UK’s borders, the government promised checks on imported food from the EU. The effect, according to the food industry, will be to raise prices and produce shortages. (Romantics searching for flowers for Valentine’s Day may well have their work cut out, despairing florists are already warning.)

Brexit took away the right of Brits to live and work where we pleased in the EU. For a while in 2023 it looked as if France would allow British expats to stay for longer than 90 days at a stretch. But the French courts blocked that concession to second home owners in the Dordogne.

Meanwhile the Brexit inspired border in the Irish Sea between Northern Ireland and the rest of the UK continued to enrage Ulster Unionists, who in their hearts must now know that English Tories have played them for fools.

Finally, the Guardian reported that the EU's plans to increase bulk medicine procurement across the bloc risk creating shortages in Britain.

That’s just in the past few days.

And yet the politicians who promised the electorate that leaving the EU would turn us into a world leader are simply not held to account.

You would have to be 35 or older to remember how the BBC used to deal with politicians who failed to deliver on their promises. In 2003 Tony Blair backed the US invasion of Iraq on the grounds that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction.

He didn’t.

BBC journalists tore into the then Labour government. Its ministers had taken us to war on a false prospectus, they claimed. Lied, in short.

And yet in a dereliction of journalistic duty the BBC has let the false prospectus of Brexit pass without the smallest attempt to remind its authors of their false promises.

Here is Daniel Hannan, the Zelig of British nationalism. For more than two decades, he popped up at what felt like every right-wing meeting and rally, urging ever more Utopian fantasies on the luckless British public.

In 2016, he promised the revival of depressed British cities, a Silicon Valley in the East End of London, and falling prices and booming wages for us all.

Is he or any other Conservative or Faragist politician questioned to within an inch of his life by the BBC?

Of course not. Continuous funding cuts and right-wing attacks have destroyed the corporation’s ability to provide a vital news service. It’s given up on democratic accountability.

I can make one argument in its defence. If a BBC presenter were in the room with me now, I am sure they would say that the Labour opposition is giving them nothing to report. It is staying silent for fear of alienating elderly voters. The Liberal Democrats shut up for the same reason.

In its politicians and media, the UK is like the caricature Victorian family that puts on a show of respectability and says nothing about its dirty secrets.

No one, however, can shut up Professor Chris Grey, and our culture is the better for it. His Brexit & Beyond blog is the best source of information on our national malaise, and I was delighted to have him on podcast.

I will write a longer piece, which will bounce off our conversation about the purity spiral on the right Brexit set off. With a bit of luck that should be up tomorrow or on Wednesday. I am also working of a read on the lessons from the 1920s for the 2020s.

6 notes · View notes

dandelion-wings · 11 months

Text

So @theabysscomeshome and I had a brief discussion last month of "Jean's harem" as an actual thing in a royalty AU, rolled into a concept from a post I've seen floating past on my dash a few times wherein a king with an obstructive advisory council gets past rules about who he can hire as advisors by just adding 'inappropriate' people to his harem.... Anyway, one of our talking points was "Kaeya attempting to actually seduce her from within the harem," because the idea of Jean having to be seduced by her own concubine is funny, and I felt inclined to try and snapshot that this evening.

---

Jean is doing her best to focus on the council meeting. It's not her fault that Kaeya is making that difficult.

This isn't the full council, nor her mother's privy council, though now that she's eighteen she's allowed to attend the latter and speak at the former. Her mother had suggested, though, that she attend some meetings of the various subcouncils to gain an understanding of their work and their members before she attempt to make any contributions in full council. The tone she'd said it in still smarts a little, but Jean can see the wisdom in the suggestion. She needs to understand how her government works to direct it effectively.

Right now, though, she can't even seem to direct her own harem. All one member of it. A member who is, at the moment, sprawled artistically on the couch at the far end of the room. She's certain he had re-angled before anyone got here, because it certainly hadn't been quite so directly in her line of sight the last time she'd sat in on this meeting. It gives her a perfect view of the sheer, open vest and gauzy half-pants that are all he's wearing.

Well, not all. There's the earring, of course, which she suspects he'd coordinated the whole outfit to rather than the other way around, and the delicate jeweled collar, bracelets, and anklets, which are ripped straight from lurid novels about harem life that have never been true, as she has pointed out to him before, and the sheathed knife strapped to his thigh. The sheath and jeweled hilt match the rest of his accessories, but Jean knows the blade inside is wickedly sharp. It should detract from the allure of the rest of the outfit, but….

Kaeya has always had an edge. Amid the shock of the blatant sensuality he's been leaning into since that first evening, the knife is almost reassuringly familiar. And that familiarity makes this new side of him all the more intriguing. Jean's been learning a lot these past few months about Kaeya's hidden depths.

"Princess," Count Eroch says, in a chiding tone.

Jean realizes with a start that she's lost track of the discussion. She pulls her gaze away from Kaeya, feeling a slight heat in her cheeks when she catches his pleased little smirk just before she looks away, and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Count Eroch. You were saying?"

"I was asking if you would consider putting a word in with Her Majesty regarding the housing for the Snezhnayan delegation. They have been polite about remaining relegated outside the palace walls, but surely it wouldn't be a security risk to have them behind the outer walls alone, and it would incline them towards us in their next round of negotiations. Many of our merchants do want less onerous access to the Northland Bank, after all."

"So long as the Snezhnayans refuse to acknowledge their fault in the Ursa incident, we will not be making any such diplomatic concessions," Jean says, a little too sharply.

Out of the corner of her eye she sees Kaeya wince, and suppresses a wince of her own. It's a mistake to give any impression that she's holding a personal grudge, even if it marches perfectly in line with her mother's current policy. Even if the thought of the Fatui behind the palace's outer walls, with the access that gives them to staff and court alike, makes her skin crawl.

"And is that the crown's policy, or your own?" the Count asks, steepling his fingers and giving her a knowing smile. "I understand that you feel strongly on this subject, Princess. I'll speak to Her Majesty myself, so as not to put you in the position of arguing against your personal convictions."

Underlining that unqueenly moment for the rest of the subcouncil, and undermining her authority while he's at it by emphasizing that, even if she has a voice here as the royal heir, the only authority that lies behind it is her mother's and not her own. Jean can identify what he's doing. She's just not sure how to counter it now that she's already made the mistake.

"Thank you," she says, falling back on graciousness. "Would you be able to introduce me to some of these merchants? I would like to more closely understand their interests, so that they can be fairly represented in the negotiations."

"Very even-handed of you," Count Eroch says, with an oily graciousness of his own. "I would be happy to. Now, regarding the suggested treaty revisions from Liyue…."

As the meeting goes on, Jean makes a concentrated effort not to look again at Kaeya. It's difficult, though, when he makes a show of shifting positions on the couch every little while, exposing more and more skin in the process. At least she isn't the only one he's distracting. A viscountess three seats down from her stares riveted the whole time he has one leg thrown over the back of the couch, exposing the brown stretch of his inner thigh, and the seneschal of the outer court shifts uncomfortably in his seat every time a change in position seems to require (entirely excessive) flexing. Jean bites down the urge to snap at both of them for staring. Even if it wouldn't be a thoroughly inappropriate interruption, she has no right to object.

Or rather, her right to object is based in the mistaken assumptions that come along with having appointed Kaeya to her harem in the first place. She's put enough effort into trying to correct those that she doesn't dare undermine herself now with a petty show of jealousy. She doesn't even have reason to be jealous. No matter what Kaeya's ridiculous displays might imply to the court.

She manages to finish out the meeting without any further embarrassment, though, and move on to the next one on her schedule without Kaeya accompanying her. He prowls off in the same general direction as the viscountess, instead, and Jean swallows down that bitter surge of unjustified jealousy, too. She's told him she wants nothing of him but his friendship. If he's decided to pursue someone more appreciative of his flirtations than Jean has allowed herself to be, she should be glad that he's finally taken her reassurances to heart. And it will certainly help her focus in this next meeting.

***

The sound of her door sliding open has Jean rising from her desk before she's even entirely registered it, reaching without thought for the sword she isn't presently wearing at her waist. She drops her hand, embarrassed, as Kaeya saunters in. He only chuckles.

"On edge, are we? Not that I can blame you."

No, he wouldn't. He'd been here for the last assassin, who'd taken advantage of the disorder of her guards after Diluc's departure to slide into a scheduling gap lost in the disorganization. If there was any justice, Kaeya's performance during that incident should have won him the place Diluc had left behind as her guard captain, native-born citizen or not. But the Queen had chosen to cleave to law above reason and refused him the post. Jean knows her mother too well to take it as truly the regretful obedience to the law of the land that she presented it as when Jean tried to make it a public matter before the court.

Bringing him into her household regardless is only a small, petty defiance. Jean worries still about how he seems to have taken the method. But she couldn't leave him where he was, with no inheritance, no citizenship, none of the legal rights and privileges that Duke Crepus should have left him with given how long he'd called Kaeya his son. And that Diluc should have preserved out of affection, even if there had been no formal adoption and they never had been written into the will. She has fantasies about grasping him by the shoulders, when he comes home, and making him look her in the eye while he answers for his offenses, with that one looming first. He had abandoned both of them. That abandonment, though, means something far different for Kaeya, who had lost a home alongside his brother, than for Jean, whose home is assured and who had lost merely her closest friend.

The thought of Diluc brings a familiar ache to her throat, and Jean swallows it down and forces herself to turn her thoughts aside.

"I am," she admits, sinking back into her chair and reaching for the papers she'd been reading. Kaeya's hands settle on her shoulders, and she tenses to shrug him off. "This isn't the time."

"You're stiff as a board," Kaeya says, as if he hadn't heard her. He leans in close, murmuring his next words into her ear. "The Viscountess Rosemary had some interesting things to say about the current members of the Snezhnayan delegation. It seems that while she and the Viscount were touring Snezhnaya, they met some of them in… adverse circumstances, shall we say, though of course I promised her that I wouldn't spread any tales. She had some suggestions regarding the negotiations that she says Count Eroch dismissed when she brought them to him."

Something tight deep in Jean's stomach relaxes at last. Of course he hadn't been chasing the Viscountess, a married woman, down for- for any activities that might draw the disapproval of the court. He's more sensitive to both his position and hers than that. Which is, she tells herself, the only reason that she's relieved to find he was merely seeking information.

"I would like to speak to her about those suggestions before my next dinner with Her Majesty," Jean says, setting her papers down and reaching for her schedule instead. "Count Eroch should have passed on any intelligence that she could offer, and my mother should know that he didn't. Thank you, Kaeya, this is going to be useful."

"I thought it might be."

Under the circumstances, she'll excuse the smug tone. If he takes a little more pleasure in foiling the Count's attempts to undermine her than is entirely appropriate, Jean can only be glad that at least one of them is enjoying their petty political war. She certainly isn't. But she's glad to have some ammunition, all the same. As she finds an appropriate slot in her week and starts penning an invitation to the Viscountess for a discreet lunch together, he takes advantage of her distraction and starts to knead. Jean feels her shoulders relaxing under his ministrations and decides that just this once, she'll excuse that, too.

#there is also a distinctly non-funny side here of kaeya desperately wanting more job security #as he is literally here on jean's whim and he would like! to ensure! that said whim lasts long-term!#but that doesn't make him having to engage in a months-long seduction effort to actually FUNCTION as concubine any less entertaining to me #fic bits #jean and kaeya run this city #also because i vowed to actually start putting content in the tags for my rarepairs:#kaejean

20 notes · View notes

stripedwolf88 · 6 months

Text

Slightly concerned about this post but I'm going to do it. I have refrained from mentioning anything about the Gaza/Israel conflict that is going on because I was taking in information. Over the past few weeks, I have solidified my beliefs. Obviously, I am just an observer from a different country miles and miles away from what's happening and the information I could be receiving may not reflect what is truly going on over there and I am aware of that. I will firstly say I do not condone violence of any kind from any person against innocent people. That goes for everyone over there but also anyone in the world past, present, or future. I have started to come to the conclusion that there are multiple "groups" or "entities" that have made awful decisions and should be doing better. The Israeli government bombing hospitals and cutting off supplies to Palestinians is wrong. Hamas terrorists taking innocent Israeli citizens is also wrong. If I were to say I think the Israeli government should not bomb innocent Palestinians, that does not mean that I want Hamas to kidnap people. If I say I don't want Hamas to kidnap people and commit other terrorist acts, it does not mean I support the Israeli government's bullying acts they have done to Palestinians. I want peace for every person over there suffering from this conflict. I want people in power to take responsibility for their actions. I want people in power to try their best and their hardest to keep as many people as they can safe and healthy no matter their religion, what place they are from, or anything. We should want that for every human being. I will not be attacking anyone who expresses words of well wishes to parties who are in fact innocent in these conflicts (civilians on both sides). I will question if they are also giving support to the other side because both sides are suffering but I will not attack them. We are all people with biases and have our own set of ways of thinking. Not accounting for every person and every variable of a conflict every time we speak does not make us bad people. People should be taking this time to question and listen instead of attacking immediately. Human conflicts would happen so much less if we all did that. Don't cancel people. Question why they may be saying what they are. Take in the things they are saying. Come from a place of compassion and fire for wanting peace and health for all people because if you can't agree to that then yeah there is something in yourself you should take a look at. I know this whole speech I'm making is lacking in details and is overgeneralizing but that is because I am not willing to sacrifice my mental and emotional health in listing all the ways in which people in the media and in real life have been NOT handling this correctly. I won't speak too much more on it like this unless I feel that I want/need to but I just thought I'd get it out. The world is not black and white. People can mean more than one thing. Support for one thing does not mean a lack of support for other things. Silence does not always mean that you are allowing bad things to happen but it can mean you are taking in information before speaking on the matter. Silence can be a tool to not negligently influence people. My point is I wish people would lead their words and actions about this that is going on right now and other things with more patience and kindness. We would all be a lot better for it.

#important

6 notes · View notes

emptystove · 2 months

Text

Sparrow - Ch 3

One Piece Fanfic (Drama/Romance/Suspense)

Pairings: E. Kid x Reader, Sabo x Reader, Lucci x Reader (one sided)

Rating: EXPLICIT, 18+ ONLY

CW: Violence, Language

Chapter Summary: Sabo negotiates with Kid for your protection, and everyone learns something they didn't expect.

Links to AO3 -- Fanfic Master List

Chapter 3: Game of Questions

Sabo stood next to Koala in the dim light of the auto shop's back office, holding your unconscious form to his chest as they waited for Eustass Kid to speak.

"Killer, remind me. When we were expecting Blue and his little army brats?"

"Next week, after we contacted him to confirm we acquired what they asked for," Killer replied easily as he leaned on the wall behind Kid, arms folded casually across his broad chest.

Kid shot Sabo a wicked grin.

"You seem to have forgotten the rules of our agreement," Kid stated lowly as he idly played with a knife. "You're lucky I value our working relationship enough to allow you to explain why you think you can show up here without an invitation."

"I'm sorry we didn't have time to call ahead. We were in a bit of a rush." Sabo glanced down at your sleeping form before continuing. "But I don't think you'll want to turn down what I'm offering."

Kid's expression turned serious as he tilted his head toward you. "That's not the kind of merchandise I work with, and frankly, I find it pretty fuckin' suspicious that you would bring whatever kind of rushjob this is to me." Kid was never a patient man, and it was clear whatever patience he had left was already worn thin. "I'll give you one more chance before I stop being so nice. Why. Are. You. Here?"

Sabo took a deep breath. His calm and casual attitude turned stern and serious. "I'm here because I didn't have another choice. I have two very serious problems. First, we have reason to believe we've been compromised." Kid's brows twitched, but Sabo pressed on before anyone could react. "If we are right, the source only had access to information from before we started working with you. I'm here because I know for a fact you are not at risk, and I need that to deal with my second problem."

"And your second problem is?"

Sabo swallowed hard before motioning to you. "Koala and I have to get the first problem under control, but we can't take her with us. She's one of ours, but the government is after her. We need you to hide her until we can get back. A few hours maybe, a day tops."

Kid frowned. "Government's always after you lot. What's so special about her?"

Sabo grimaced, and he tightened his hold on you without thinking. "The leader of CP9, he..." Sabo thought about what he witnessed from the shadows in the subway station. He knew Lucci only from the bodies he left behind. There were no stories from Revolutionary survivors because he left no survivors. The way he spoke to you though, he wasn't acting like you were a Revolutionary. He wasn't even acting like he wanted you dead. He wanted you alive, and he wanted you to go with him willingly. Sabo cursed his own mind for thinking up all of the horrible possibilities of what that might have meant for you. "He wants her alive, and he made it clear that he has a personal interest in capturing her."

"And you have a personal interest in protecting her?"

"I'll pay triple what I paid you for our last deal."

Kid hummed thoughtfully. He rose from the desk and sauntered in front of them. His gaze rolled over you, and a large finger tapped you on the cheek. Kid snorted when you sneered and grumbled in your sleep.

"Heavy sleeper?" Kid questioned, but his implication wasn't lost on Sabo.

Sabo glanced away briefly before returning Kid's gaze. "I sedated her. She's been through a lot." Just how much, he wasn't even sure.

Kid frowned as he took in more of your form. Your thin clothing was sweat-stained, your arm was recently bandaged, and your bare feet were filthy.

"Eustass, please. Just keep her hidden, and call me when she wakes up."

"Triple last deal," Kid confirmed the price and pointed a finger at Sabo. "And you Blue, you personally owe me a favor."

Sabo nodded faster than Koala could open her mouth to protest. "Deal."

----------

You woke up in a drowsy haze. It was the first time you could remember waking up without gasping for breath. It would have been a nice change if you weren't also waking up in a strange place, chained to a desk.

You willed yourself to stay focused as you took in your surroundings. You were still an agent after all, even if you were a deserter. You remembered your training. Get your bearings, get yourself free, and get out.

You sat in a leather chair with a rounded back. Your wrists were bound in handcuffs, and the handcuffs were attached to a chain that connected to the large metal desk in front of you. There was a door to your left. The only light in the room came from what slipped in under the door from the hallway. There was a window to your right. The blinds were closed, but the shadows cast on them from a large maple outside led you to believe you were on the second or third floor. You breathed deeply through your nose. The scent of rubber and oil hung heavy in the air. You weren't back at CP9 headquarters, and you weren't dead. Both unexpected.

You angled your wrists toward the light from the doorway and examined your restraints. The cuffs were basic, and they didn't even bind your feet. Amateurs.

You leaned your head down until it was close enough to your hands. You pulled two thin barrettes from your hair and maneuvered them into the cuffs. A small click sounded as each pin in the lock was released. You moved the noisy chain and cuffs to the floor as silently as you could, then took a moment to stretch your tense muscles as you stood up.

You started to take a step toward the door when you froze. Everything about waking up here felt so different. It was probably the reason you let your guard down enough to miss the one familiar thing about how you woke up. You weren't alone.

"Not bad." You expected a voice from behind you, but you didn't expect those words or that voice. It wasn't Lucci. It wasn't one of the other CP9 agents either.

You lunged to grab the first thing you could see on the desk as soon as you felt his movement. He was lightning fast, reaching you and blocking you by the wrist before you were able to drive the object into his skull. Now that he was in the light of the door, you could see him better. He wasn't as tall as Lucci, but he still towered over you. Long blond locks covered his eyes, but you could tell by how relaxed his face was that restraining you was hardly a challenge for him.

"Easy, girl. You're safe here."

He could tell you weren't convinced though, and he twisted your wrist until your makeshift weapon dropped to the desk. He put you back in your restraints and lightly shoved you back in the chair before picking up the phone on the desk.

"Kid, she's awake. Want me to call Blue?"

The blond pulled out a different phone to make a second call to a similar effect. He didn't give away who he was speaking to, but you got the feeling whoever it was would be there soon enough.

It wasn't long before the man he called 'Kid' entered the room. He was taller than the blond, more muscular too. You could see the beginning of a few scars across his chest, peeking out from behind his open shirt. Wild red locks framed his hard face. The blond whispered something to him, and you almost faltered as he met you with fierce amber eyes.

Kid chuckled. "I'm curious. What was your plan? Break out of here, and then what?" He clicked the end of your improvised weapon mockingly. "Take on the government with nothing but you and your clicky pen?"

Cocky bastard. "A pen can cut an artery just as well as a knife if you know how to do it. You can make it a lot more painful, too." You made a show of looking him up and down, doing your best to look unimpressed. "Unless you can't handle that kind of thing."

"I'm taking a pretty big fuckin' risk keeping you here. You should be grateful."

"Oh, where are my manners? Thanks so much for cutting my arm and chaining me to a desk," you deadpanned.

"Tsh. We may have tied you up, but we didn't slice your arm. Ya had that already when Sabo left you here."

"Who is Sabo?"

Your question had both men pause in clear confusion.

"Don't fuck with me, woman. Your little boyfriend paid me good money to keep you here, but my hospitality only goes so far." Kid warned.

Now you were confused. Lucci didn't like relying on anyone outside of Cipher Pol in normal situations. You supposed this wasn't exactly a normal situation though.

"Who are you?" Kid asked curiously.

You let out a long sigh and shook your head. "What a question."

"Dammit, woman."

"Someone paid you to kidnap me, and you don't even know who I am?" You chuckled to yourself. "Thought I was the only one."

Kid slammed his fists on the desk with a loud bang. You didn't flinch. You had no intention of cooperating.

"If he's using you to hold me, he's keeping this off the books. And if he's keeping this off the books, he isn't planning on keeping you alive." You were so busy riling up Kid that you didn't notice the blond studying you with concern. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised that went over your head, though. You clearly aren't the mastermind around here." You tilted your head toward the blond, but kept your eyes on Kid. "Why don't you ask your boss there what he thinks."

You couldn't hide your smug grin as you saw the giant before you lose it. You didn't have to wind him up, but it was just so easy. There was no deception in the redhead. From his words to his body language, he was an open book. You almost felt bad for how quickly you forced him to lose his temper, but you clearly weren't able to break out of this situation by force. And when all you had was your wits, a little chaos couldn't hurt.

Kid's chair hit the wall behind him as he rose abruptly from his desk, but the blond was at his side instantly. He whispered something in the redhead's ear, and to your surprise, Kid strode out of the room, muttering a string of barely audible curses.

The blond picked up the fallen chair and sat it back behind the desk, but he retook his position leaned against the wall.

He decided to come at you from another angle. He agreed to answer a question from you if you answered one from him. If you didn't want to answer a question, he would ask you a different one instead. It was terribly reasonable.

The blond was definitely the more level headed of the two. You couldn't work his temper, but if you talked to him long enough, you could find something to exploit. Everyone had something.

You begrudgingly agreed, and as a sign of good faith, he answered your previous question for you first.

"You asked who Sabo is. He's the first officer in the Revolutionary Army. He brought you to us unconscious and paid us to keep you safe from the government agents hunting you."

Your eyes widened. CP9 not having you was a huge relief, but you didn't know much about the Revolutionaries. Lucci was adamant about keeping you away from any missions involving that group.

"What do they want with me?"

He furrowed his brows briefly before shaking his head. "My turn to ask a question."

He considered you for a moment before deciding what to ask.

"What's your name?"

You frowned. You hated your name. It probably wasn't even your real name, just another cruel gift from your sensei. The first thing you wanted to do when you left was get a new one.

"Alright. Where are you from?"

Your brows knit together. If they weren't working for the government and didn't know who you were, you weren't sure you should tell him that's where you came from. And if he meant before that, you had no idea.

"How old are you?"

You shut your eyes and grimaced. You didn't know. It wasn't necessary for your training, and it wasn't something Lucci could use to keep you under his thumb, so they never told you.

"Ok, you have to give me something."

"You don't understand," you muttered softly. "I can't answer those questions."

"Listen, I get that you don't trust me-"

"I didn't say I won't. I said I can't." Your voice was steadier now that some of your anger was back.

He was looking at you closely now. You were in pain, and you were angry, but none of it was directed at him.

"Why can't you answer those questions?"

You knew you shouldn't trust him, but you didn't have much of a choice. He was definitely more sensible than the redhead. Maybe if you got on his good side, he could help convince the revolutionaries not to kill you.

"Because I don't remember. I can't remember anything that happened before one year ago."

He was studying you, trying to see if you were lying. You weren't. He nodded, signaling that he accepted your answer and was now waiting for your question.

You honestly weren't sure what to ask. You didn't know what the revolutionaries wanted with you, but they were spending money and taking risks to keep you away from CP9. You wanted to believe they would help you, but they could just as easily be keeping you alive only long enough for some sort of trial and execution.

Your body and mind were trained to survive. You knew you should ask something that could give you tactical insight. You looked at the blond man again, then around the room. You couldn't remember a time you spoke to someone outside of CP9 that wasn't part of a mission.

"What's your name?" You finally asked.

"Killer."

You chuckled. His name was as ridiculous as yours.

"Eustass Kid is the man you met earlier."

You nodded thoughtfully and waited for him to ask his next question.

"What's the last thing you remember before you woke up here?"

You raised your gaze to where his eyes peaked out from behind his long bangs. His eyes were blue. "I escaped. I... I ran. I got all the way to the subway, but the fucking train was late. That's where he found me."

"Sabo?"

You shook your head and shut your eyes tight.

"Who?"

You couldn't help but picture Lucci's cold eyes.

"Who found you?"

"My turn to ask a question." You opened your eyes and let out a soft sigh. "Where am I?"

"South district. Kid's Body Shop."

You had never heard of it. Even the other CP9 agents rarely frequented this part of the city. Maybe that meant they really could keep you hidden from Lucci.

"Where did you escape from?"

It wasn't a line of questioning that you liked, but at least you knew the answer.

"The Cipher Pol Nine headquarter building, NWC Central District."

You weren't sure, but it looked like Killer raised a brow.

"You said Sabo is paying you keep me safe from the government. Why would he do that?"

"He didn't tell us much, but Sabo said the leader of CP9 is personally hunting you down."

You nodded sourly. "That's true."

"He said he wanted to capture you. What does he want from you?"

You swallowed hard. You thought he was going to kill you. He had plenty of chances to, but he didn't. He wanted you to go back with him.

"He wants... to break me."

Killer didn't seem to react, and you were too tired to care anymore. "Listen, it's been a long night and seeing as it might be my last, can we wrap this up?"

"Sure. Just one more question." He let a slight grin curl up one side of his face. "If you can't tell me your name, that's fine. But what should we call you?"

His question caught you off guard. You expected him to ask more about CP9. You tilted your head in thought. If you were going to die soon, maybe it would be better to die with a name of your own choosing.

Before you could respond, the door burst open. A familiar looking blond man stared at you from the doorway. He swallowed before rushing toward you. You flinched, expecting the worst, only to be wrapped in a tight embrace. He knelt in front of you, holding you hard against his chest.

Kid followed him inside. You searched both his and Killer's faces for an explanation of what was happening, but you found only deep frowns and furrowed brows.

"Blue," Kid's gruff voice was almost soft as he addressed the man holding you.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, (Y/n). I should never have stopped looking for you," Sabo whispered. His head was dropped onto your shoulder.

"Sabo," Kid's voice was louder now.

"I know you hate me, but I'm just so glad that you're back. I can't believe you're back." You had no idea what he was talking about, but a familiar feeling was slowly creeping in your gut as his lips moved against your skin.

"Sabo? You're Sabo?" you asked, finally making some sense of the voices around you.

The blond pulled back and held you by the shoulders. The sheer happiness on his face morphed into concern. "You... don't recognize me?"

"She told us she didn't remember anything before a year ago," Killer stated. "It's interesting that you didn't know that already."

"Wait, I do remember you." You looked at him again and fell back into those deep blue eyes. His face was a mixture of confusion and hope until your next words broke him. "You're that pervert from the train."

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because you swear you saw all the color drain from his face. You didn't mean it to come out as bad as it sounded. To be fair, the last twenty four hours was a lot, and you had been drugged recently.

Sabo took a step back, turning from you and trying to collect himself. Killer took him by the shoulders and filled him in on what you had just spoken to him about.

You closed your eyes and tried to make sense of what was happening. He was talking like he knew you, but that was impossible. You were an orphan raised in a government facility. You were a trained CP9 agent. If you had made contact with a member of the Revolutionary Army before you lost your memory, there's no way Lucci wouldn't have killed you on the spot, especially if it was the kind of contact that led to him holding you like he just did. None of this made any sense.

"What's the last thing you remember?" You opened your eyes at the sound of his voice and found all three men staring down at you.

"I escaped CP9 Headquarters. I ran until I was in the subway-"

"No, no," Sabo knelt forward and put a hand on your shoulder. "What's the first thing you can remember."

You hesitated a touch too long before answering honestly. "I woke up exactly twelve months ago in the medical wing of Cipher Pol. Once I was healed, I returned to train under my sensei until I was reinstated as a full agent of CP9."

You weren't sure if it was your words or Kid's sudden grip on Sabo that shocked him more. Before you knew it, Kid was dragging him out the door and throwing him into what sounded like the room across the hall. If you thought you had made Kid angry before, he was truly furious now. Killer was quick to chase after them, and for the first time since you woke up, you were alone.

It only took a moment for your eyes to fall to the desk, right to where you left your hair pins, just within reach.

----------

Kid threw Sabo into the empty room across the hall. His feet slid backwards along the concrete floor, and Kid could admit he was impressed that Sabo didn't flinch. He kept his eyes on Kid, even when the drywall cracked as his back slammed into the wall.

"You lied to me. You said she was one of yours," Kid growled.

"I didn't lie, Eustass. She-"

"She's a fuckin' government rat!" Kid cut him off as he stalked toward Sabo.

Killer was quick to step between Sabo and the redhead. "Kid, I think we should hear him out."

Kid was fuming, but Killer's actions gave him pause. The blond knew him better than anyone, and he was loyal to a fault. Killer wasn't shy about giving Kid his opinions, but it was rare for him to physically step in.

Kid looked past his friend to Sabo, still standing where he landed against the opposite wall. "Alright, Blue. Explain it to me. And for Killer's sake, explain it in a way that doesn't make me kill you."

It didn't take long for the two blonds to put together most of what had happened to you.

Everything the government told you was a lie.

You were an orphan headed down a dark path until the Revolutionary Army took you in. You joined their ranks when you were old enough. You were a devoted soldier and you were a trained killer, but not for the organization you thought. Sabo didn't go into detail on the mission where you disappeared, just that you were presumed dead despite them never finding a body.

"So, she's a lifetime member of the RA, gets captured a year ago, you lot think she's dead, and they fuck with her head when she can't remember who she is." Kid was finally calm, though his anger was barely below the surface thinking about what kind of scum messes with a person's mind like that.

"Not quite." Sabo pushed a hand through his hair in somber frustration. "The last mission she went on for us. The one where she disappeared. It was almost three years ago."

The room fell silent. It was clear what that meant. You were taken by the government three years ago, and they wanted the world to think you were dead. No one outside Cipher Pol would know what happened to you during the first two years you were gone, and they brain washed you into playing soldier for them during this past year.

"You called her one of your own, but you left her behind. Ya left her to be eaten alive by the enemy." Kid's laugh contained no mirth, only contempt.

Sabo's gaze was deadly as he faced the redhead. "You weren't there. What we found, all that was left of her." He gritted his teeth. "They were very convincing."

"What happens to her now?" Killer asked, breaking the tension between the two.

Sabo thought for a moment, quickly burying his anger and reverting to calm professionalism once again.

"We're still evacuating the safe houses and securing the assets she had knowledge of before she was captured. Once we have resources back in place, she'll want to see Dragon."

Kid's distaste for the situation was obvious. He turned his head and glanced toward the hallway. His eyes caught yours through the small crack in the door, and he refrained from cracking a smile. Of course you broke free again.

His musings ended as soon as they began, though. He saw something in your eyes that was painfully familiar, and it twisted in his gut like a knife.

Sabo and Killer were discussing the best way to explain all of this to you when Kid finally interrupted them.

"Tell me this, Blue. What happens if you explain all this to her, and she doesn't want to play hero for ya anymore?"

Sabo looked down. That was clearly not a possibility he was ready to entertain.

Kid scoffed as Sabo and Killer continued making plans for you. He looked back toward the door and left without excusing himself when he saw that you were gone.

It didn't take him long to find you. There was only one light on, and it was coming from the floor below. He watched you from the doorway to the kitchen. You were sat on the counter next to the sink, scrubbing your feet clean with a damp dish towel.

"You're still here," he grumbled softly.

"Looks that way."

"Not thinking of running away again?"

"Tch. I might not know who I am, but that doesn't mean I'm stupid. I'll be dead in five minutes, running from the government without some kind of help."

He let out a short laugh, grabbing a beer and popping off the cap with the side of the fridge. "If you were so damn smart, why didn't you realize that before you escaped the government?"

"I did realize it." He knit his brows together as he looked at you. His smile faded as he realized what you meant. "Would you rather live in a cage or die a free man?"

Kid knew exactly what he would rather do.

He took a second beer from the fridge and kicked it shut before closing the distance between you. He towered over you, even as you were perched on top of the counter. He knew how intimidating he was, and he didn't want to admit how much he liked that you weren't afraid of him.

He kept his eyes on your face as he slid the second bottle under the metal edge of the counter between your knees, popping the cap with a casual flick of his wrist.

He handed you the beer and flashed a smug grin as he watched you try to hide the blush on your cheeks. He clinked his bottle against yours as soon as you accepted it.

"I'll cheers to that."

Previous Chapter | Fanfic Master List | Next Chapter

#fanfic #one piece x reader #one piece x you #one piece x y/n #one piece x oc #sabo x reader #sabo x y/n #sabo x you #eustass kid x you #eustass kid x y/n #eustass kid x reader #one piece fanfiction #one piece fic

6 notes · View notes

norel-ravenclaw · 11 months

Text

To Catch A Thief

- Part 4 -

Fandom: Ikemen Prince (otome game)

Featured character: Sariel Noir

Genre: Erotic Romance, Thief x Officer AU

Rating: 18+

Word count: ~2000

Description: Officer!Sariel AU where mc is a master thief that finally, unexpectedly gets caught. He takes her back to the prison and... makes her an offer she can't refuse. Once she's his, he trains her to be the devil's bride. It's all very kinky and self-gratifying and eventually turns into filthy smut ✨but with feelings✨

The carriage ride is torture. Sariel keeps fussing with my hair, my sleeves, and drilling me over and over on everything he's taught me.

And then, far too soon, we're here. It's time.

The public debut of the thief of West River.

With a rumble, the carriage stops. Sariel opens the door and steps down, holding out a hand to me. I see the glint in his eye - of pride, intimidation, and what I've come to recognize as him donning the full mask of the devil.

The music can be heard out front of the grand mansion as I take his hand. We join the crowd advancing towards the open doors, gold light pouring out into the dusky evening. He offers his arm, and I straighten my shoulders, plastering on a pleasant expression.

Here begins the gauntlet.

Near the doors, a line has formed where the host is greeting his guests one by one. When it is our turn, the man's eyes linger on me.

"Ah, Detective Noir, welcome. What a lovely jewel you have on your arm."

His words make my heart stutter. ...He knows who I am. Trying to hide my nerves, I curtsey politely, allowing him to take my hand to kiss it.

"Laurent, allow me to introduce you to my betrothed, Director. This is Norel."

Director Laurence freezes briefly, though I only notice his faltering from the pressure on my hand. "Ah, indeed? Stole our best officer's heart, did you?"

I am shocked by his boldness. Beside me, the devil takes on an air of darkness. "Take care that she does not steal yours."

The two men's eyes lock briefly with an intensity masked only barely with polite smiles.

And suddenly it's over. We enter the main hall where the rest of the guests are lingering before dinner. I stay glued to Sariel's side as we drift around to talk with everyone. Officers, detectives, local government leaders, wealthy campaign donors. Intimidating men with inflated egos, women dripping with jewels and flowery insults.

God this is awful.

But standing beside the Devil shields me and inspires courage. This is his world. I can't help but want to be able to support him, be with him. Being here is his way of helping keep the police force in check, to prevent the spread of corruption. And I want to be strong enough to help his endeavours.

I stifle a gasp as I feel a hand on my lower back.

"Dinner is served," the director murmurs in my ear. He smiles as Sariel meets his eye... holding it as he runs his hand along my waist before walking away.

Sariel's composure cracks for a brief second. As he puts his own arm around my waist, I whisper, "What is he getting at?"

A devilish gleam lights up his eyes. "I took his promotion and had him penalized for an infraction. He's always been bold in his threats of taking what is mine." He chuckles darkly. "Much good it's done him."

We go into the grand dining room and find our place cards, allowing the butlers to seat us. To the left of Director Laurent is the mayor and his wife, to his right, the chief of the city's police department. Sariel, being the most successful officer in the precinct, sits just beside him.

And so... throughout dinner, I am close enough for the host to try to strike up conversation with me. Considering that this is my debut into society, I'm still preoccupied on maintaining proper posture and not clinking the silverware, much less keeping up an appropriate conversation. ...Especially when the bastard has no interest in appropriate conversation.

Sariel is kind enough to bail me out twice. The wife of the mayor even distracts the man once to save me from his probing questions and gaze.

Finally, the dishes stop coming out, and we are free to leave the table. Sariel grabs my hand and pulls me down the hallway with him, his grip strong. Rather than try to shake him off, I'm grateful for the grounding feeling, squeezing his hand back myself.

However, I hesitate at the foot of the stairs.

"Sariel? Should we be back here?" I nearly gasp when he finally looks back at me, his amethyst eyes ablaze with fury.

"You are mine. And he must know that."

There is no arguing as he hurries up the stairs with me in tow. We navigate the halls until coming across a set of French doors that undeniably lead to the private quarters of the estate's owner.

My heart is pounding as he opens the door and pulls me inside. My breath seems especially loud in the dark, moonlit space as he locks the doors behind us.

"S-Sariel...?"

He stops by the edge of the bed and glances back over his shoulder. My heart is pounding. Feeling my gaze, his eyes flick up to mine. "Get over here."

A shiver runs through me. "...Sir?"

He smirks, his expression dark. "You heard me. I gave you an order. You dare pretend you didn't hear me?"

Oh... So he's serious about this. "I- n-no, master. I wouldn't..." I can't help but recoil as he marches back to me.

"But you did." He grabs me and shoves me against the wall.

"This is Monsieur Laurant's room?! B-but what if someone hears?!"

"You will be punished severely if they do. Now submit to your master." There is a dark sort of madness in his heated gaze that sends a surge of heat through me.

"Sariel..."

He kisses me much more softly than I was anticipating. His hands roam my sides, massaging my hips. I groan into his mouth, gasping as his knee comes between my legs.

He pulls away with a heated sigh, licking my ear before whispering, "Let me show him who you belong to so he never thinks to take you from me again."

"Mm. Y-yes, master."

Looking into my eyes briefly, we share an electrifying second of illicit thrill for what we're about to do. Then he lifts me into his arms and carries me across the room.

Standing before the bed, he kisses me senseless while hiking my dress up around my hips. Once it's out of the way, he throws me down on the plush bed. I lie back, watching him undo his belt and shift his trousers. He looks more like a demon than ever as he climbs on top of me, roughly tying my wrists together with the belt. I arch against him as he kisses me, pushing his tongue into my mouth to ravage it.

I can't help but whine as he pulls down my undergarments to my knees, the cool air making me shiver. He wastes no time in putting my legs over one shoulder and reaching down to press a gloved finger into me. I gasp at the sudden intrusion, grateful that my insatiable lover never leaves me empty for long. He wants to be able to take me any way he wishes, whenever he wants. ...Though I never expected his risk taking to go quite as far as making love in someone else's bed.

But he quickly erases such thoughts from my head as his lithe fingers rub me inside and out with a single-minded ferocity. He takes advantage of the overstimulation and makes me peak within the minute. Shudders wrack my whole body as I cum hard on his fingers, mewling into his mouth.

"Master...! Ahn!"

Sariel growls against my lips. His hand grasps my hip as the other leaves the warm place between my legs. He leaves wet kisses down my neck and settles over me, lining himself up. We both gasp as he pushes into me. I throb around him as he quickly starts thrusting.

I quickly fall captive to his rhythm as the devil claims his bride to be.

The minutes tick by as I writhe in the pleasurable fire of lust - and don't notice the footsteps. It isn't until the door opens that the situation really settles into my pleasure-addled brain.

My eyes lock with Decective Laurant's. And time stops.

But of course, Sariel doesn't stop. The room is filled with lurid sounds, the bed is already wet with our desire. I gasp and try to squirm away in sudden panic, but Sariel's belt holds my hands firmly. He sees my wide eyed expression and looks over his shoulder, never breaking his rhythm.

Laurant stares at us open mouthed, his hand frozen on the door handle.

I can't hold in my gasps of overwhelming pleasure, even as the man watches.

After a moment, Sariel smirks and turns back to me, evidently finished making his point. He thrusts harder, and I squeeze him tighter.

Laurent at last seems to pull himself out of his shock and half stumbles out of the doorway. He doesn't utter a word as he shuts the door firmly.

Sariel speeds up his thrusts suddenly, and I can't hold back the cry of ecstasy as I peak. He follows quickly, pulling out soon afterward to let his cum to spill out onto the sheets.

We lie there, panting, a sheen of sweat making our fine clothes stick to our skin.

"You're mad, devil."

Sariel lets out a breathy laugh, nuzzling my cheek. "Yes, yes I am. About you."

He gets up off of me slowly, staring down for a moment. With a smirk, he kisses me, once more ravaging my mouth. He pulls away with a wet string connecting us, running a hand through his hair before sitting up.

"Come now, let's get you fixed up." With a kiss to my temple, he pulls my undergarments back to rights and helps me sit on the edge of the bed. "Such a good girl," he whispers. "So good for me."

Shakily, I get up, and he turns the lamp on low so we can fix ourselves to be presentable. While Sariel helps set my hair back to rights, his elegant fingers pause, brushing a damp lock of hair aside.

His deep voice is quiet as he meets my eye in the dimly lit mirror. "I love you, you know." His hand rests on my waist. "Do you know how much you've changed me? Brought me back from darkness I never thought I'd escape from."

"Really?" I rest a hand on top of his. "You were the one who saved me."

He laughs quietly. "But not before you stole something of mine, hm? I searched for you for so long, my little thief. The moment I saw your face... Well, I knew everything was about to change. It had to. ...I had to have you. And the joy you've brought my life, my fallen angel, is more than I could have hoped for."

I stare back at him, even in the darkness seeing my fierce blush. "...Does this mean I'm just as much a freak as you are, given how much I love you? Love this?"

His eyes widen in brief shock, and he sighs - though I can't miss the smirk playing on his lips. "...Brat." He turns off the lamp and takes my hand in the darkness. "Come now, kitten. Let's go show the world who the Devil's bride is, hm? Never again will anyone question. You belong to the devil."

"Damn right I do."

Part 1 - https://www.tumblr.com/norel-ravenclaw/701455046880182272/to-catch-a-thief

Part 2 - https://www.tumblr.com/norel-ravenclaw/701468521534799872/to-catch-a-thief

Part 3 - https://www.tumblr.com/norel-ravenclaw/713648702965923840/to-catch-a-thief

Part 4 - https://www.tumblr.com/norel-ravenclaw/720068739031269376/to-catch-a-thief

#norel writes #ikemen prince #ikepri #ikepri sariel #sariel noir

13 notes · View notes

crippleprophet · 1 year

Note

I'm really sorry if this is the wrong place to send this but you're the only person i know who still takes covid seriously. I live with someone who won't get vaccinated or mask as well as several other people who won't take covid precautions for the most part. I've been masking at home around them to be safe, but now my parents (who i have to live with still) have decided that I'm not allowed to wear a mask at home anymore. I don't know how to keep myself and others safe like this, especially since I live in a place where no one else in public will mask either. Legally I can't move out yet (I would love to) but yeah sorry if this is inappropriate I just don't know who to ask or what to do

no need to apologize at all <333 i am so fucking heartbroken that i’m the only connection you have to someone still taking covid seriously, but i’m also incredibly grateful & honored that i can be that for you.

we definitely aren’t the only ones, no matter how much it feels like it - the discord i started recently has 41 members and growing, and that’s just folks who’ve seen my tumblr post. you’re absolutely welcome to join if that’s safe for you, but if your circumstances don’t allow it, please know that there are other people in very similar circumstances to yours, who’ve been masking in their homes and whose right to manage their own risk is being denied.

https://discord.gg/5f5ahBjVax

i don’t want to tell you how to conceptualize your own experiences and relationship with your parents (lord knows i couldn’t apply certain language to my own until i was ready for it, and i believe it’s so crucial to respect your autonomy here when it’s being denied elsewhere) but please know if no one else has told you that that form of control absolutely qualifies as abusive, and it is not, under any circumstances whatsoever, your fault that you are being denied the ability to protect yourself and others.

i’m reminded of a quote about how systems of power, in this case referring to how affordable products are dependent on exploited labor, intentionally force people to break our own moral codes in an effort to break our spirits. again, this is not your fault, and the most important thing to remember right now is that keeping yourself safe includes (unfortunately, ironically, heartbreakingly) keeping yourself safe from & with your parents, which right now may mean not wearing a mask. any infection that may happen as a result is their fault, not yours. it is the fault of every layer of the ableist system that has stoked their resentment of others, not yours.

i usually don’t talk about this, but i left my parents’ house (“ran away from home” rubs me the wrong way but would not be inaccurate) in 2017, a little less than 3 months after turning 18, so i have counted down the days until i was legally my own person, and throughout the duration of the pandemic i’ve thought a lot about the nightmare that would be still living in that house. i can’t fully imagine or understand the grief and fear you’re experiencing, but my heart goes out to you & all others in your situation.

what’s been most instrumental to me in maintaining my personhood in situations where i’ve been denied autonomy has been reading sociological studies, because it helps me understand my circumstances as an outcome of oppression and not a personal failing, and by virtue of others writing about it reminds me i’m not alone. if you’re interested in that sort of thing, i recommend literature my scholars & activists on children’s rights and liberation. the UN is definitely deeply flawed, but i’d point you to the Convention on the Rights of the Child as a starting point because of (at least for me) the impact of so many governments agreeing that this is what should be happening, even if it’s also a massive grief when it isn’t.

my advice when it comes to covid would be to do what you can when you can, especially because it would likely give you some feeling of autonomy, which is so crucial under these kinds of circumstances. simultaneously, you are under no moral obligation to risk your safety with your parents—if their response to finding out you’re masking when you’re out of the house would endanger your physical or mental health, for example, please do not feel pressured to do it. all of my posts about masking, and anyone else’s if they aren’t a piece of shit, are directed at people whose behavior is not being controlled by others upon whom they depend.

to put it super bluntly, you can’t keep anyone else safe in the future if you’re dead. in order to protect others later, you need to protect yourself now, whatever that may look like based on your decisions. you, and others who aren’t being allowed to mask, are among the people everyone else should be masking to protect, and i’m more sorry than i can ever put into words that our society has failed you.

i’m gonna ask a few folks in similar circumstances if they have any advice, and anybody reading feel free to add on, but remember that you’re the authority on your circumstances and you don’t have to make any decisions or follow any advice you think would put you at risk.

so much love to you, and my asks & dms are & will remain open if there’s anything at all i can do.

#asks #coronavirus #covid 19

31 notes · View notes