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rollinouttahere-writes · 8 months

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helloo!! Can we please have dark chocolate number 13 with Ace pls \(//∇//)\ thank you!!♡♥︎♡♥︎╰(*´︶`*)╯🍫♡

Yandere Ace x GN!Reader

1.1k words

Prompt:

I’m so happy to have you here with me, I will never want anyone else. You have more of a hold on me than you’ll ever know.

It’s been a few hours since you’ve last seen Ace. An eternity in his book, barely a breath of fresh air in yours. During your precious alone time, you elected to stay in his cabin and tidy up the place. His tendency to just throw shit and leave it wherever it falls left the room in a chaotic state, and that got on your nerves given that this is where you spend almost every waking moment of your day.

Going out amongst the other people on the Moby Dick always left a bad taste in your mouth. They would give you pitying glances at best, but never lend a hand to help. They ultimately cared more about Ace’s well being than yours, and since your presence was directly tied to his mental state, your fate was sealed.

You never asked for any of this. No one wants to get dragged off onto a pirate ship because the captain of it got too attached. You had a glimmer of hope that you may be able to escape after the Spade Pirates were forcibly disbanded by the Whitebeard Pirates, but as already stated. They weren’t much help. At first they couldn’t even get close to you without Ace trying to kill them, but eventually he grew on them. Then they were helping keep you on board, lest he spirals.

The relationship you had with Ace could be very draining. That fun, rambunctious side of him that had originally drawn you in was only a part of him. A front that he put on. In reality he was an intensely depressed individual that had become much more comfortable showing that side of himself to you.

In normal circumstances, this would be a heartwarming show of trust. Typically this would be a steady step in the right direction to build a healthy relationship, but nothing about your relationship was healthy. The exposure to his depressive episodes felt suffocating more than anything. While he would be sobbing into your chest and clinging to you for dear life, you would be forced to comfort your captor out of pure guilt from seeing him look so broken. You felt more like an emotional support animal than a human significant other some days.

Going back and forth between hating and pitying him was dizzying. Not to mention the bizarre form of codependent love that had been thrown into the mix. You never knew what direction your emotions towards him would go any given day, just like you never knew what kind of a mood Ace would be in.

It was exhausting. You felt like you needed a vacation to recuperate at the end of every day, but you of course never got one. So you would have to settle for the moment of peace you’ve been granted in this messy cabin.

The door is suddenly kicked open and you internally curse. Your quiet moment is done and over with now. You should have cherished it more.

Strong arms lock around your waist, heave you up, and spin you around. Ace seems to be in a good mood today, which is a plus. “(Y/N), I missed you!”

“It’s only been a couple of hours, you’re acting like it’s been months,” you muttered, more to yourself than him.

“What? A couple of hours is a long time, it felt like months.” He had mercifully stopped spinning and was looking around the room. “Where’d all my stuff go?”

You rolled your eyes, “All I did was stuff your dirty clothes into the hamper. Don’t know why you even have that thing seeing as you never use it.” It had a fine layer of dust that would gather over it in between your sporadic uses when you got fed up enough to clean.

“Not everything was dirty, most of those were still good!”

“It’s not “good” if you have to do like three sniff tests to determine that! Just wash that shit!” You were squirming to get out of his grasp, thoroughly irritated from bickering about you cleaning up his laundry.

Ace laughed and shrugged, “Maybe I’ll do it later.” Yeah right. He walked towards your shared, unmade bed and tossed you onto it before throwing himself on top of you. Oh. He’s feeling cuddly today. Great. Well, as long as he doesn’t start crying it won’t be so bad.

A kiss was placed against your cheek with enough force to squish your face, and then he unceremoniously flopped down, further squishing you into the mattress. Instead of using your chest as a pillow like he usually does, he nestled his face into your neck. His arms snaked underneath you to keep your bodies fully pressed together.

The man was a walking furnace, so you were already beginning to sweat. Such a thing didn’t bother him, but it was uncomfortable for you. Not that your discomfort was enough to deter him, you would be stuck in this position until he’d gotten his fill. This was far from the first time you’ve been subjected to this, so you knew what he wanted. One of your hands plucked his already partially dislodged hat from his head and tossed it aside so you could run your fingers through his messy hair, the other one rubbed slow circles on his back.

Ace hummed in contentment from your ministrations, and his body sagged more than it already had against your own. His hair was tangled, a common occurrence for anyone primarily living at sea. Your fingers worked meticulously to undo all of the knots. You weren’t particularly gentle with it, but he wasn’t flinching from every tug so you can’t imagine it was that harsh either.

For a while, nothing is said. Ace enjoys your company, while you feel obligated to acquiesce his wants and desires.

“I’m so happy to have you here with me, I will never want anyone else. You have more of a hold on me than you’ll ever know.” The words are spoken in a hushed whisper directly into your ear.

There it is again. That pesky, traitorous feeling of affection. The flutter of your heart from being so desperately wanted- needed even. Your impulsive inclination to comfort someone so clearly in need even though it’s absolutely not your job to do so. You wanted to “save” him almost as badly as you wanted to save yourself.

It made you question if he was the only one with serious psychological issues here. Have you always had this savior complex, or was it a recent development brought on by your living situation?

This wasn’t something you wanted to think about today. You sighed and clutched Ace closer. Maybe it would be for the best if you just turned your brain off for a little while? Thinking too hard on your circumstances has never done you any good.

#one piece #yandere one piece #one piece x reader #one piece x y/n #one piece x you #portgas d ace #fire fist ace #portgas d ace x reader #yandere #reader insert #x reader #mostholy

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schafpudel · 9 months

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Epidemiology of the Raven's Blood

Part 0: Prologue

Realistically, the blood does things because it's convenient to the plot of the anime, and no deeper thought needs to be put in than that. However, while it does explain inconsistencies in its writing, it's boring and not fun to my pattern-seeking brain. I like to piece together coherent internal logic to stuff in fiction, even if I know the authors themselves didn't think that hard about it. It's fun to me!

At the same time, Princess Tutu's meta-fictional conceit does give us some wiggle room to borrow the Doylist understanding and smuggle it back into a Watsonian explanation. So...

In-universe, I think, the purpose of the Raven’s Blood can be understood as a plot device to easily convert a separate “character” and their body into a narrative extension of the Raven; that this is why Drosselmeyer would write it into the logic of his story. Bored of a character you introduced previously and want to heighten the stakes? They're a toadie of the Raven now. And when we go a level down in fictionality...

To the Raven, other living things exist to be exploited. The only use you can have, beyond being a meal, is being a pawn who can get it what it wants – and what it wants is to consume. Like some ancient castle-bound vampire or wicked dragon, its power and intelligence are ultimately in service of a simple predatory desire. If you are neither edible nor manipulable, you are simply a nuisance.

Diseases and parasites will manipulate pain and pleasure, fear and love, the body and the brain. But while a real disease or parasite’s goal in psychological and physiological manipulation is to reproduce, to turn the infected into a means by which to spread itself to new hosts... the Raven's curse is uninterested in this. What matters, to the Raven, is that the cursed becomes a minion and a pawn, who can bring its prey closer to its own mouth.

Part 1: Lay All Your Love On Me

Part 2: Serving Your Heart On A Platter

I’m sure you’ve heard of a sickness that feeds predators their prey. Toxoplasmosis, for example makes male rats as horny and lovesick over the smell of cat urine as they are at the scent of female rats, switching the pathways of fear and desire, to lure them into being devoured. The pathways between the two run parallel, you see. For the infected, every cat becomes a succubus, a siren, a beautiful creature calling its prey to their willing doom. And, if the parasite gets what it wants, this is how the rat dies.

Why am I talking about this? Because Mytho starts talking about feeding himself to birds literally the day that his symptoms start presenting, in episode 14.

It’s true he’s saying this while antagonizing Fakir, so one could also brush it off as him just Saying Shit to make his roommate as uncomfortable as possible. But also – we know what the Raven wants, in the end.

For most of season 2, however, Raven!Mytho doesn’t continue to talk about feeding himself to crows. He’s mostly focused on seducing sacrifices, manipulating public opinion, having meltdowns about not being loved enough, and being petty to Fakir and Kraehe. His sense of self-preservation (in as much as Mytho has ever had one, cough) seems genuinely intact for episodes 15 through 21. If Mytho is feeling weirdly giggly about getting eaten during that timespan, he’s doing an awfully good job of hiding it.

And then Mytho starts molting into a crow monster at the end of episode 21, and the rat toxoplasmosis symptoms kicks back in.

(We're not told what he's smiling about here in episode 22, but the next episode, episode 23, makes it obvious:)

This does seem likely to be a Mytho-specific symptom; Rue shows no sign of this. The Raven has been particularly invested in eating Mytho’s heart for a long time, after all; Mytho’s job as the Raven’s doordash delivery guy was always going to be temporary even if he hadn’t beeninterrupted every time. It’s entirely possible that other people could end up with this “symptom” too, but we never see it.

The fact that Raven!Mytho proceeds to acts so strangely cuddly after telling Kraehe she’s an ugly fuck (but also that he needs her love) feels somehow related to this enthusiasm for getting eaten by crows. His voice delivery in the Japanese audio for the heart/lips/blood line sounds… …I hate to say this.

It sounds like he thinks a crow girl ripping out his heart and touching it onto her mouth is really hot.

(Yea, of course she's shaped like an uggo human (and he's in the process of moulting into a majestic raven and he's sosososo excited for that) - but hey, she's technically a crow as far as he knows, and she has black feathers....)

(And while regular!Mytho seems negative to neutral about that in season 1, Raven!Mytho only ever complimented Kraehe for having crow-like qualities.)

Anyways! In Mytho's final state under the Raven's Blood, he immediately obeys the Raven's orders to be devoured, completely ignoring Rue and Tutu's pleas.

...You know, until the Fairytale Confession of Love, because this is a magical curse and it is a fairytale.

Part 3 and Part 4 are not ready yet but are in the works. See you soon.

#princess tutu

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dramavixen · 1 year

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are producers the clowns for approving subpar endings or am i the clown for expecting more

**Spoilers for:

Love Like the Galaxy (China, 2022)

The Red Sleeve (South Korea, 2021)

Late as I am to every bandwagon, I at last completed my first watch-through of Love Like the Galaxy a few days ago. For the past couple of weeks, I have done nothing but think about, consume, and breathe this story. At last, a show that was ticking all the boxes! I could tear myself free from this drama slump of mine!

This celebration lasted until I sat down with my parents to observe that thing the producers might call an "ending," but which sparked a frustration in me so severe that it triggered a post-COVID coughing fit, which in turn almost made me throw up. I couldn't comprehend it: was this the same show? Did I accidentally click on a parallel universe version where everyone's intelligence was operating 20% capacity?

Since I'd like to avoid making myself physically ill again, I'm not going to focus too much on how logic abruptly becomes an imaginary concept throughout the last two episodes. At least all that did was make me angry. What I can't accept is that they use that lack of logic to curse our leads with the most careless of reconciliations.

To alleviate my distress, we're going to perform an investigation. A deduction, if you will, of precisely what the ending was lacking, and utilizing a case study of how to conclude a story in both a fitting and compelling manner.

An unresolved misery

In recent years, my tolerance for male leads' misbehavior has plummeted down into the core of the earth. You could say that after years of being brainwashed by media into excusing male characters' questionable actions due to how much they "love" their partners, I'm taking back my common sense. So when faced with Zisheng's killing spree while armed with the knowledge that a "happy ending" was endgame, I anticipated how the writers would close such an abyssal rift in the leads' relationship. And the result was...well, not all that worth it.

If you need a memory refresh or you're reading this without fear of spoilers (godspeed), the conclusion of LLTG sees Shaoshang being kidnapped multiple times by people who she knows don't hold good intentions, but she goes along with them anyway. Don't ask why (the answer is so Zisheng can swoop in to rescue her). Some needlessly dramatic things lead to Shaoshang assuming for a few seconds that Zisheng has died in an explosion. But lo and behold! Here he comes, emerging unscathed from the ordeal. She flies into his arms and forgives him. Then they run off and save China, because it's not a historical C-drama until they do.

By the time we got to the fire/explosion scene, my mental state had already been reduced to a pulp. Therefore, to write this piece, I had to rewatch that part and make sure I was getting all the details right. It shocked me into a second round of holding my head to prevent my brain from ejecting itself as it sought to escape this reality.

(Also, I have to take a moment here to demand justice for He Zhaojun. They leave a pregnant woman on the floor after dragging her out of a fire, while she's having contractions, so they can instead take the time to hold a premature mourning session for Zisheng. Guys, it's not the end of the world if you don't have a brain. But please don't throw away your conscience.)

However the writers did it, it still counts as a happy ending. Such a conclusion should come as a relief, so why do I find it so hard to come to terms with? Let's rewind a tad.

Both Shaoshang and Zisheng grew up under grim circumstances, their identities subjecting them to emotional and social turmoil. But while they share a similar internal struggle, they must deal with it in opposing ways. Shaoshang opens herself up to anyone who shows her true kindness, desperate for someone to accept her for who she is. On the other hand, Zisheng can only isolate himself from everyone, unable to reveal his true self due to both political and personal interests.

Their eventual parting is unavoidable. Shaoshang is moved by Zisheng's unwavering love for her. Can't blame her all that much; just look at him. But the closer she gets, the more Zisheng fears dragging her into his mess of a life, and the more he pulls away. When Zisheng chooses vengeance over love, he's already crossed Shaoshang's bottom line several times by refusing to share his troubles whenever she asked—the irony being that he once scolded her for keeping things to herself.

ZS: If, one day, they really intend to kill you, would you not tell me then, either? Shaoshang, exactly who do you take me for? Why must you always act on your own, and not trust me? SS: It is not that I do not want to trust you. I simply— ZS: You simply do not care about me. After betrothing you, I would frequently think about how great it would be if I could become your confidant and anchor. You could tell me about all of your fears and loneliness. I do not wish to control you. All I hope is that you can be honest with me. But how is it that your heart never warms toward me?

I see that Zisheng is a loyal believer of the "do as I say, not as I do" doctrine.

While it's initially funny to look back on the above scene in context, it's quite sad once you mull over it more. Zisheng's desire to know Shaoshang's troubles is rooted in a concern for her safety that is both emotional and practical in nature. When Shaoshang later applies that same thinking on him, the tables have turned completely. Zisheng is now aware that few situations are simple enough to be resolved just by being honest with someone else. And if the problem is severe enough, doing so may only aggravate it further.

From his perspective, telling Shaoshang would mean ruining her and her family's lives by association. Not to mention, she herself swore that she would stay with him through everything. So if he dies as a result of carrying out his revenge, the possibility of her dying solidifies itself as an inevitability. Leaving her behind is the one method he has to ensure that he alone would suffer the consequences.

Like it or not, it's hard to blame either of them for the end of their relationship. Is Zisheng wrong to keep Shaoshang in the dark? Arguably yes, arguably no. But is Shaoshang justified in her anger about being kept in the dark? Absolutely.

While we can be reasonably upset that post-timeskip Shaoshang possesses none of the outspoken nature of her teenage self, her lingering depression is the most realistic result of everything that happens. She has tried repeatedly to find her place in the world, yet arrives at nothing but failure every time. Not to mention, she suffers from an inferiority complex that intensifies the ache of each and every rejection. She isn't unfamiliar with being abandoned, but Zisheng doing it to her is the final straw that breaks her. The coffin her family was preparing for her didn't go to waste—the moment that Zisheng turned his back on her, he killed a part of her. Meanwhile, Zisheng becomes a corpse with a pulse, someone who only continues to breathe so he can regret what he has done.

When you delve into how much Zisheng hurt Shaoshang and himself, it becomes clear that a Michael Bay explosion shouldn't have been the answer to their problem. After the timeskip, the issue at hand should be less about her forgiving him than it is about each of them needing to redeem parts of themselves that they lost to the circumstances. That's why their interactions at this point are so painful to watch. Every word, every look, every movement brims with love for the other person, but they are both shells of their former selves that cannot move on.

No words for the above; too busy sobbing as they each individually accept that they'll never experience true happiness again.

As a viewer, you know that Shaoshang accepting him at this point would be an objectively bad idea. But it's also hell to watch two people, both overly accustomed to suffering, walk away from the person who brought them the greatest joy in their life. That's the art of tragedy, flourishing before us in a quiet, leaden fog. And they killed it in a bloom of gunpowder, of all things?

The beauty in tragedy

To say that a tragic ending is inherently superior to a happy one would be a pretentious fallacy. At the same time, a forced happy ending will feel unstable enough that the slightest of questions will cast it into doubt. The genre of an ending is irrelevant. It only matters that the ending is the right one.

So should LLTG have ended with the leads parting ways for good? To find the answer, I want to first dig into a successful example of tragedy. For that, let's look to our dearest, our legendary, our precious: The Red Sleeve.

Similar in premise to LLTG, TRS features a female lead with independent thinking and a dream for freedom, faced with a man of high social status who goes about chasing her in a way that flaunts his power. The stakes are higher in TRS since the man in question will one day be king, but the highlight of the show is the same as in LLTG: you bounce back and forth between hoping that she ends up with him and praying to any god that exists that she runs far, far away from him. You can't really win.

One day I'd love to write a thorough analysis on the amazing character that is Sung Deok-Im, but for our current purposes I'll focus on the nature of her ending. TRS is roughly based on history, and a quick Google search when you begin the drama will inform you that our female lead is fated to die at 33 years old—only a few years after she is "promoted" from gungnyeo to Yi San's consort. As a result, you spend much of the drama battling the lurking dread of how her death comes about.

A few months after her young son passes away, Deok-Im falls ill and dies. The unborn child in her womb follows her. Yi San is beside her as Deok-Im slips away, and her dying wish is cruel but fair: should they meet again in another life, she begs Yi San to pass her by. Only then can she choose to live a free life, full of choices, which was all she had wanted until she fell in love with him.

While watching LLTG, my emotions mirrored those I endured through TRS. Both dramas force you to get to know the female lead as someone who wants to be herself, a baffling idea in the face of a society where women's primary identities are those associating them with someone else: daughters, wives, sisters, mothers. Yet she continues to harbor hope that she can control her own life, even as she falls in love with a man whose station will certainly snuff out that possibility. The saving grace in LLTG is that Zisheng is not a part of the royal family, and even then Shaoshang goes through her fair share of frustration. TRS on the other hand...even if you haven't seen it, you can likely guess what happens.

The biggest tragedy in TRS is not that Deok-Im dies young. It's the despair that trickles through every part of you as she transforms from a free-spirited, boisterous young woman into an obedient consort whose every word and movement is straight out of the books of etiquette, who isn't permitted her own feelings or thoughts in the face of the country's interests. History may not share the specifics behind how the consort actually died, but the drama all but tells you that depression played a major role. By the end of the drama, Deok-Im hasn't existed for a while. She dies as Royal Noble Consort Ui.

I wonder what I have gained by being in this place, and what I have lost.

I cry inconsolably whenever I see this expression of acceptance and resignation on her face as she sends off her friends and her former self, knowing full well that she has caged herself into a life of sadness so she can be with the one she loves—a man whose first priority can never be her.

But oh, no; our suffering doesn't end there. Yi San lives on after her, looking after his country while carrying the lingering pain of Deok-Im's death. At one point, he retrieves her belongings and appears stunned by her gungnyeo clothing:

It is so small. Were you always so small? Yet, I loved you.

In Yi San’s memory, Deok-Im was a person of great stature. What she may have lacked in social position, she more than made up for in personality. Her tenacity made her appear so strong that only in hindsight does Yi San understand just how vulnerable she was.

Yi San is also someone to be pitied. When we watch palace dramas, it's easy to say that the king's consorts have it far worse than the king. They fight over a man in order to survive, and arguably their sacrifices are greater in number and magnitude. But it's egregious to host a competition of suffering, and you can't deny that Yi San himself leads an unfortunate life. In the cold isolation of the palace, Deok-Im gives him warmth and company. It's no wonder that he wishes to have her by his side, but he is still willing to let her go when she pushes him away.

Almost every other palace drama would have you turning up your nose at the king or emperor's so-called "love" for one of the women in his harem. TRS leaves no room for such doubt. The throne takes away Yi San's ability to choose, and ultimately his ability to wholeheartedly love someone. Even so, Yi San holds Deok-Im so dear that you might want to blame him for how she ends up, but it's hard. Really, really hard. (For anyone interested and who hasn't already, I highly recommend reading the actual history behind this drama. Dude was so in love that it physically hurts.)

In the final scene, he reunites with Deok-Im in the afterlife. At last, they are together and without all the frills and chains of royalty tying them down.

Many years have passed, and at times, I was not certain myself. Do I truly miss you, or do I simply glorify the past? Now I know. I missed you, and I missed the time that I spent with you. [...] Now I understand that we do not have much time. And we do not have the luxury to wait. So, love me. Please. Love me.

I'm always scared to watch the last episode because I just spend the full hour and a half bawling until I can't breathe. Taking these few screenshots was truly a test of my entire being.

So what makes a good tragedy? Tragedy is not "bad things happen." It's "bad things may have happened, but I wouldn't have chosen any differently." When Deok-Im becomes Yi San's consort, it isn't because he keeps her there. She chooses to stay. She loves the prospect of freedom, but she just loves Yi San more. It's awful, it hurts, and it's perfect.

What could have been

We've taken a slight detour, but have at last arrived back at the topic of: how should LLTG have ended?

If given the choice between Shaoshang and Zisheng being together and them not being together, I would obviously choose the former while beating the latter into a permanent nonexistence. With any degree of empathy, you can't watch two people suffer as Shaoshang and Zisheng do, then turn around and wish for their continued misfortune and loneliness. So although I'll concede that it would have easily made for a fantastic tragedy like TRS, I can't bear to say that it should have been one. But if the writers want to go for the non-obvious happy ending, it still has to follow the progression of things.

The current problem is this: Zisheng abandoned Shaoshang and scorned her trust in him. We're now in a position where Shaoshang has the decisive say in whether the relationship can be revived.

LLTG's primary focus has always been Shaoshang. Though multifaceted, her personality and motivations are pretty straightforward. Each time she suffers is a result of her lack of agency. She had no choice in her parents leaving her as an infant, no choice in her poor upbringing, no choice in agreeing to marry Zisheng. Even when she gave up Lou Yao, was that truly a result of her volition alone? For someone whose greatest enemy is helplessness, what matters most is maintaining her own free will.

Through this lens, each time Shaoshang asks Zisheng if he has something to tell her, not only is she asking him to trust in her as his equal, she wants him to let her decide to stay with him. Zisheng turning her away scars her so deeply because it's the same thing as telling her, "I don't care what you want to do." He's drawing a line while taking away from her the power to choose—the one thing she's told him repeatedly matters to her.

SS: I used to hate you for abandoning me. I hated that you acted on your own. I hated that you would rather leap from a cliff than walk alongside me. I hated that I loved you so truly, whereas you told me lie after lie. It has been five years. It was not easy to let go of all of this. I can no longer give away my heart or trust again. ZS: I am sorry. Regardless of what choice you make, I will respect it. These last few years in the Northwest, not a day went by where I was not filled with remorse. I know you. I knew completely that you feared being abandoned. Yet I still chose to harm you in the way that would hurt you the most. In the first twenty years of my life, I lived in hatred. And for the rest of my life, I will live in remorse. If I could, I would tear my heart from my chest to show you. But I know I no longer have that right.

"A married couple exists as one entity." Such is what the drama emphasizes time and again, but what does that mean? Not that one party is in automatic agreement with the other. It's about learning to reach compromises and understanding what's important to the other person. When you don't give your partner their say in that conversation, then what relationship is there to be had?

That is why Shaoshang's unwavering desire for individual opinion matters even more after entering a relationship, and why she still struggles to come to terms with what Zisheng has done. She doesn't blame him. She doesn't want him to beg for forgiveness. After everything she's been through, she just can't put herself in the same vulnerable position again. And he's learned to fully respect her opinion, which means that he has to let her go.

TRS's ending works for the simple reason that it remains true to the characters and their motivations. The tragedy isn't there to make us sad, it's just where the story was always going to find itself. This is why we as viewers hate the ending, but we wouldn't have wanted it written any other way—to do so would be betraying Deok-Im and Yi San.

But when you look LLTG, it gives you a very weak argument for Shaoshang and Zisheng's reconciliation. In front of you are two people whose love for one another could not run any deeper, yet there are legitimate obstacles to their relationship. Shaoshang needs to relearn trust and feel respected. Zisheng's conflict mimics that of Yi San's; as much as he may regret the past, there is nothing about it that can be changed. That regret is something that has to be addressed. (Of course, in Yi San's case, that was addressed through his death. So maybe not that for Zisheng, if you please.)

I can see where the writers attempt to cure Zisheng's remorse, but come on now. They stage a bizarre speech for him where he denounces his previous actions, like a child being punished by his parents and being forced to write a 200-word essay reflecting on his wrongdoings, and while they're being held in the most asinine hostage situation ever known to man. He seriously proclaims that he should have walked the honorable path instead of opting for vigilante justice.

This entire scene was a nauseating roller coaster, but that last part threw me for a major loop. Sir, the only reason you can say that so shamelessly is because your soon-to-be wife found evidence after you killed the guy. Are you really going to stand there with a straight face as you tell me that you regret how you killed the man who you watched murder your father, and who brought about the horrific deaths of your entire family? There was no other option at the time. Of course you had to kill him. It was as much a personal vendetta as it was political. No one likes what happened after that, but those are consequences that should be dealt with separately. Also, Shaoshang's qualms aren't rooted in you killing the guy, they're rooted in you killing him and then trying to kill yourself, all without taking her desires into consideration.

And just as I was thinking the above, the next thing that happened on-screen: Shaoshang turns to him with an expression that says, ah, so he's learned his lesson! Oh...my goodness.

Hi, ma'am? Question. What exactly is more emotionally persuasive about this weird declaration now than when he laid his heart out that night when you wished one another well and said goodbye? Is it because he almost explodes afterward? In the five years he spent out on the battlefield, was he not always in danger of exploding, or being stabbed, or being tortured to death, etc.? Did he not almost die saving you from falling off a cliff two days prior? Why didn't you waver then, especially since it should remind you of, you know, the other time that he jumped off a cliff?

During the scene where she runs to him after discovering he miraculously is not dead, a severe suspicion came over me that perhaps they inhaled so much smoke that they were no longer thinking straight.

A solid happy ending was clearly a possibility. Even if they wanted to go with the above nonsense, could we not also have had a moment where they admit to one another that while overcoming their pain will be difficult at first, being apart from one another for eternity would be much more painful? That nothing in life is easy, but it will be easier with each other? That that commitment is what makes a married couple a single entity, and they just want to commit to each other? Then they can go off and save China, whatever.

They deserved an ending that had me rejoicing that these two are finally, finally, finally on the same wavelength. It should have been more introspective and more considerate of Shaoshang's hurt and Zisheng's regret. Their psychological wounds are instead dismissed through an absurd monologue in a basement and the arbitrary realization that death is lurking around every corner.

The hilarious part is that in the last two episodes, even the actors are noticeably less enthusiastic. In their performances, I see essences of how I feel when a client requests edits to a design that will make it significantly uglier. You gotta do what you gotta do to pay the bills.

Sigh. I could forever grieve what could have been, but this is still one of my favorite dramas. Characters that feel like real people, relationships that make your heart hurt. Those should be common sense in media but are hard to come by in reality, and I'll continue to appreciate what LLTG gave me.

All I really want from the drama industry is for it to please, for the love of our collective sanities, stop thinking that "happy" endings are a valid shortcut to satiating an audience. Good tragic endings are difficult to write, yes, but good happy endings are not any easier. To underestimate that is to let down the story and characters that were so painstakingly brought to life in the first place.

#星汉灿烂 #love like the galaxy #scribbles*#i had to get this out of my system before i created a reco graphic #otherwise it would have haunted me the entire time #anyways now onto rewatching nif to relive baby wu lei #lltg

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mulders-too-large-shirt · 4 months

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s1 episode 23 thoughts

back at it again with another post surgery painkiller and x-files combo, let's goooo!

i'm almost done with season 1, only 1 more episode! i'll have to see how long it took me to get to this point and then update accordingly- but i might finish today- which will be bittersweet

(update! i started watching 20 days ago, so a i'm at a little over an episode a day! wow, time flies. and yet it seems they have always been at my side)

anyway this episode was again Problematic but i did chronicle my journey like always. i am a citizen journalist.

episode opened with some math words, math words which i definitely knew the meaning of (/s)

then the scientist we see working on a sort of jet thing gets sucked into his jet- he was locked in there by the custodian- with a sound the closed captioning described as a "squishing thud" which was. unfortunate.

enter our duo! "how was the wedding?" "you mean the part where the groom passed out or the dog bit the drummer?" (mulder, teasingly) "did you catch the bouquet?" (scully, teasing back) "maaaaybe :)"

(your honor i would die for them. no hesitation. mulder, what do you care if she caught the bouquet? dreaming of her as a radiant bride or something? scully, you stringing him along with that imagery? lol. lmao, even. i need to put them in a bottle and study them)

another scientist is killed when the custodian puts him into liquid nitrogen which is not something i can endorse but he WAS rude asf so i get it. and then his ear falls off and crunches which was nasty!

scully says she has seen this happen on a fish before! mulder responds that this is not something they'll see on "beakman's world" (had to google that one but it seems to be a contemporary children's science programming of some sort. and there was a man in a rat suit playing a rat. which is absurdly funny to me. hold on NEED to get an image of him for you)

i'm. gonna fucking cry why does he look like that. need to end this line of commentary here before i start begging for explanations on what the hell was going on in the 90's

so mulder seems to think that the custodian killed his boss and all the other members of this team working on the fancy jet stuff, which we know to be true but we don't know Why. turns out our custodian, roland, is the twin brother of the head scientist, arthur, who died a few months back, and has since had his brain placed in a cryogenic freezing chamber. JUST the head!

i love when scully and mulder need a visual on what a person would look like so they go to the woman in the fbi that presses some buttons on a computer and generates a dude. it brings me pleasure to no end. then they look at the guy like :0 yup that is exactly who we are looking for. i eat it up every time.

! SCULLY LORE REVEAL ! she has two brothers, one older and one younger! (she's a middle child omg.........)

mulder thinks siblings have a psychic connection (which is actually deeply tragic if you consider his circumstances) and that the ULTIMATE psychic connection is between twins. so the twin that is currently in an icy soup is somehow connecting to the other twin to get him to kill all the other scientists and finish his research. sure. why not.

there's then a scene where mulder tries to walk in the wrong direction and scully has to correct him, which recalled him getting lost in the woods in an earlier episode i had No Positive Feelings Towards, but it does make him always driving funnier. like, can he follow a map but has no internal sense of direction? was the gps still in its early days? did he have one at all? how is he getting places? a lot of people want to know

the last remaining scientist who was not killed lowered the temperature on brain soup twin, which was stored in another part of the university campus where they worked. man my university campus has no jet propulsion wing OR brain soup section. did i get ripped off? what is my tuition even for?

anyway, the episode ends with the seeming psychic curse of soup twin being lifted from custodian twin, which we can hope to mean positive things moving forward

overall, like i said, any episode of a show from the 90's with the words "mentally challenged" in the description is bound to have aged poorly, which i am not surprised by- up there with the earlier Indigenous appropriation episode and the aforementioned episode i Shan't Name- but, we did learn things! for instance, that scully has 2 brothers (!!!), just went to a wedding where mulder teased her about maybe catching the bouquet (and also a dog bit a drummer, drop the full story time scully don't be shy), mulder believes in the psychic connection between siblings, and that there was a rat on a kid's show that was a mere man in a suit. that i'm still gonna cry laughing at.

#the damn rat. i had to stop myself from looking at pictures just to get back to finishing this post.#i will never be the same.#sigh. scully has two brothers. i will tuck this information carefully into my brain and store it on a high shelf.#i think when i'm done watching s1- which could be today or tomorrow- i'm gonna go through all my notes #and make a big “favorite s1 moments” list. one for scully and one for mulder.#there's some stuff i want to dive deeper into and remember moving forward #so maybe i'll do one just for scully and one just for mulder and then one for their interactions together #because it is hard to separate them! but there are individual things that deserve highlighting as well #like sleep deprived mulder telling scully which station the sports show is on. or scully raised catholic reveal. or her befriending a horse #anyway. much to look forward to moving ahead.#juni's x files liveblog #the x files #txf

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lovecolibri · 2 years

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SaL anon here friend, hoping your in the mood for some incoherent Friday rambling because that's where I'm at right now and have been for days. First off, i think we should both thank and curse the new intern 911 hired, who apparently switched out the promo team's decaf for some Columbian dark roast. Seriously after spending the first half of the season practically catatonic between episodes suddenly we can't catch a break for even 24 hours before the next unhinged thing comes out. Next, let's

thank Mr. Ryan Guzman for looking at his character's scene notes, apparently rolling his eyes, and deciding to take matters into his own hands. Look, I'm not trying to say the rest of the 118 doesn't look devastated, but Eddie looks like he's about to start bawling on the floor and that's the real reason he grabbed Chim. I'll come back to this but his moments sure don't hit like pure platonic concern, there is some real desperation there. Also not to bring up KR rambling but lady if you were so surprised by Ryan's performance and didn't want it to come across like THAT, aren't you in charge? Couldn't you make the call and say "I need you to give me less"?? Anyway, the parallels between this and Eddie's shooting are ridiculous, so I also gave to think if this isn't going somewhere what the fuck is the point?? Why go through all this trouble to make it so obvious and heartfelt and hurt so much if it just goes back to business as usual?? That more than anything would piss me off. Yes, let Buck learn a thing or two about his own worth (we've only been waiting SEASONS for it), but also can we stop pretending putting these two specific characters in these life and death scenarios where they have to watch the other dying and their whole world looks like it's coming apart doesn't mean anything?? Finally (for now) here's what I'd like to see next episode. We know Buck is going to see the people he loves but not in the way he knows he knows them. So I'd love to be what prompts him to wake is seeing Chris. But not just any version of him. This Chris is an orphan, his mom died and there wasn't anyone to save his Dad from getting shot. He lives with his grandparents (pre Ramon reckoning), he had to go to them since there was no other parent in Eddie's life to take care of him. So this bright, brave kid is now sad and scared of the world, and Buck knows its wrong. I'll leave you with this mess of thoughts 😭.

Hello friend! We had people over this evening so I'm trying to get this done before I get to bed because I really do need to clear out my inbox (RIP to everyone who came to be salty with me and KR's interviews because we immediately got sneak peeks and poker stills and DO MORE, and my brain went offline).

Seriously, I don't know who started slipping the promo team cocaine but damn. Let us REST for a second! Between them and the fandom coming out in FORCE to wreck us or be horny on main, it's A Lot and I need sleep!

Ryan is out here giving us The Most and KR acting *shocked pikachu* about it just shows how much she sleeps on Ryan as an actor and Eddie as a character.I rewatched 6x10 and like, I know he's got a lot next episode but for a premier maybe we could have checked in with him and Chris since we checked in with literally everyone else at their homes? I'm trying not to be too negative because after s5 and 6a, this is THEE most excited I've been in awhile and I really do think the show is at least trying to course correct after....whatever TF 6a was and the weirdness of s5.

And the stuff with Eddie, it's like, you're right they COULD tell him to do less! They could say "this is what we're looking for" or at least "this is what we're NOT looking for" but clearly his actions were signed off on and made it to air knowing full well what people would see when they watched it. And what you see is a man desperately broken by the possibility of losing his partner. Which is GREAT if the show is working on a s7 Buddie reveal plan (I'm with @outrunningthedark I don't think they want to overshadow the Madney moment coming up which is fine), but it's....disappointing when there is so much good stuff going on right now and all KR wants to talk about is how much fun they had forcing Eddie "they're not really my type" Diaz to casually date randos because that's something he's ever been interested in doing. He really seems like a guy that enjoys wasting his limited free time meeting lots of new people only interested in getting into his pants instead of taking care of his partner who literally died for several minutes, and doing things with his son. Sure Jan. FFS, read the room! Or read the character profile before you start throwing storylines at the wall to see what sticks (lookin' at you sperm donor plot that is apparently giving Nothing). Yeah, yeah, managing expectations with a showrunner like her is good, but it's also a lot of whiplash right now between what we're seeing on our screens and what she's trying to TELL us we're seeing on our screens. I'm just so sick of them giving what should be THEE moment for Buddie only to follow it up by shoving some woman between them like "oh, nothing to see here!" Give me a break. And then what are they going to do for the actual reveal? How are they going to raise the stakes AGAIN? How are they going to be like, "yeah this is the 5th time one of us has almost died, but THIS time it's allowed to be an "Oh" moment for us because TPTB finally signed off on it!" 🙄🙄🙄 On the bright side, the Buddie of it all has kept the show trending off an on for almost two weeks and will certainly continue through next week so at least whoever is paying attention to that stuff and saw how dead everything was after the finale has some comparison to work with!

ANYWAY

Sad an lonely Chris would be HEARTBREAKING and my heart couldn't take it! 😭😭😭 That boy deserves ONLY good things! I will say I am a little...not mad but I am certainly side-eyeing this coma storyline seeming to be about how Buck's work as a firefighter is what changed everyone's lives because like, YES him being at the 118 changed everything for everyone, but also this is the guy who panic-sued the department to get back to work because he felt worthless if he wasn't doing his job. Which we then found out stemmed from childhood trauma and neglect, but right now, for where he's at, he's not questioning his choice of job so he doesn't need a push like Eddie to come back to where he belongs. And he's already wrapped up in a storyline that SHOULD be about him giving up parts and pieces of himself to make other's happy at cost to his own happiness (though right now we don't know WHAT it's suppose to be about since he's not going to struggle with walking away per Oliver and he's not learning anything so what's the point?). So how is better for him to be facing a life where Daniel lived and he's loved and happy (which is what they've been making it sound like) but everyone at the 118 is a mess without him, proving that it's better for everyone ELSE if he sacrifices everything and doesn't get the happy life he always dreamed of? Like I'm not trying to be negative and I'm still REALLY excited about the episode (as you can see from my unhinged posting this week) and I just KNOW everyone's performances are going to slay us, and this storyline might go differently than I'm expecting and be something really great! But I'm just...getting my side-eyes out because if KR has proved anything it's that she can't plan a fucking arc for shit, and she lacks a basic understanding of the trauma and driving forces behind the characters.

Final note because I didn't want to end on that one, I think everyone in the firefam deserves an Emmy for what they're going to give us and I am READY for their reactions to rip my heart out and stomp on it. It is TIME Buck wakes up with his REAL family around his bed and knows how very much he is loved for just being Buck and how hard they fought to bring him back to them, because he's their family and they CHOOSE him. Buck is always the one being left, but he's going to wake up and hear how everyone he loves begged him to stay with them. It's going to be *delicious*

#my sweet nonnie friends #sleeping at last anon #911 #911 spoilers #evan buckely #buddie #firefam #i can be side-eyeing something from a fandom perspective #but still take my goggles off enough to enjoy watching it play out when it airs #i reserve the right to be salty about it later #but in the moment i will not be immune to anyone being in tears

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awake-my-oceans · 2 years

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DCMK fic recs

Hi @starrystories2! Here are those DCMK fics recs!

Duly noted! I hope you like Magic Kaito(*) because I think all of these have Kaito, in all his glorious serious nonsense. Platonic ShinKai is the name of the game here, because that’s the majority of my ao3 bookmarks.

(*) You don’t have to know anything about Magic Kaito beyond the first few episodes so you know the characters and Kaito’s general motives and characterization.

Wanna bet? (by Hebiaczek)

"Daddy, Daddy! Look!" The man, Hideki Araki, looked down from his phone to his five-year-old daughter, noticing her pointing to the line of people behind them. "It's Kaitou KID!"

Curiously, he turned his gaze towards where his child wanted him to and truthfully, there was a guy dressed up in a pristine white suit, with a top hat, monocle, and a cape. Araki had to admit that the getup looked really well made too. He noticed a few other people giving the cosplayer a quick look before turning back to their matters. Because, obviously, there was no way an internationally wanted thief would be just waiting obediently for a subway to come while seemingly playing with a phone in his hand.

Scion (by cleflink)

"So," Shinichi said as he commenced wrapping it tightly around the wound. "Any ideas for how we're going to get out of here?"

Shinichi didn't know how KID managed to make raising his eyebrow an audible thing, but there was no denying that he could. "You want me to make a plan? What happened to my bossy Tantei-kun?"

Shinichi put on his best innocent child expression. "But you're the international jewel thief! Isn't escaping something you're good at?"

"Brat," KID said, but mildly. His attention was on the movement of the people below, his expression intent. The blood on his cheek contrasted sharply with his white clothing and made his skin look even paler than usual. Shinichi found himself oddly arrested by the sight. He wasn't used to KID looking vulnerable.

we all need someone we can bleed on (by redrobin1989, also on tumblr at @redrobin-detective)

It was one thing to know Kuroba was Kid, it was another thing to find Kuroba half out of Kid’s signature white suit as he tried to shakily take off what looked like a bullet proof vest. There was blood smeared on his arms, chest and face.

“Shit,” he heard the thief curse under his breath before Kid’s smile pasted onto his face like a sticker that applied hastily, off center and peeling. “Evening Meitantei, just thought this would be a nice place to rest my weary wing-”

“Shut up you idiot, where are you bleeding?” Shinichi asked, crouching down to Kuroba’s level.

Small Elements (by xelay)

“I fell forty stories tonight, because someone plotted his escape route without realizing he’s standing at the crime scene of a two-day old murder. And when he saw me, instead of turning around like a sensible criminal, or confronting me like a respectable opponent, he sneaked up behind me like a homicidal cat!”

Kid finally deigned to look at him.

“Tantei-kun,” he said, mildly. “Are you trying to tell me that you just scared yourself off the building this time?”

Shinichi opened his mouth to argue, before clamping it shut. Changing the person of blame in that statement sounded worse.

Riddle in Reverse (by NinthFeather. Technically incomplete, but main plot threads are wrapped and everything else is near-complete)

Shinichi rattled off his number—the one for Shinichi’s phone, not Conan’s. “Call me with a burner, unless you want to set up a permanent line of communication. It might not be a bad idea to buy a phone for this case, if you think it’s going to take a while.”

“I don’t know how long it’s going to take,” KID said, and that was a rare spark of honesty in his voice, unless Shinichi missed his guess. “I don’t know everything that Hakuba’s capable of, but I know he didn’t want me to know, and I know he managed to make sure I didn’t find out. I don’t like that he pulled that off. It doesn’t bode well.”

Shinichi didn’t agree out loud.

shuffle the deck (by ali_summerset)

Ran is quiet for a while, before taking a deep breath. She steels herself before expelling everything she wants to say in a rush, “See, when you say things like that, it makes me think you know him well. But how would that be the case? How often have you actually faced off?”

Kaito Kid in response is still like a statue. It seems like an anomaly for someone with such a loud presence to quiet himself like this.

“Are you-,” a deep breath again, “Are you the case that’s been keeping him away for so long?”

Ran doesn’t notice herself holding her breath.

Kaito Kid laughs and it’s a harsh, grating sound. It hurts something inside Ran. “Unfortunately, ojou-san, no matter how much I grudgingly respect that meitantei, this is one sin I won’t claim credit for. While it’s true that I’ve taken someone away from an important person, I’m not responsible for yours.

Insanity, apparently (by Taliya)

There were people gunning after KID? Why had [Wataru] never heard of this before? Granted, he tended to reserve his mental capacities for homicides, but even something like this should have crossed his radar at some point in time, what with how interdepartmental gossip worked. Shuffling Conan behind him protectively with gun at the ready, he paused before easing the exit the door open just a hair.

“—ver and we won’t kill you.” The male speaker’s voice was gruff but mocking.

“You are going to kill me whether or not I hand it over, so why should I make it easy?” KID’s voice was all lilts and whimsy, though the homicide detective could hear an edge of steel ringing beneath his words.

“Just hand the gem over,” growled a second male voice. “I’ll make sure it’s quick.”

And, like before, I have many more fic recs than I am able to compile in one tumblr post! Here’s the link to my ao3 bookmarks for DCMK.

#you should all be VERY impressed with me #bc I did the VERY hard task of going through my dcmk bookmarks without rereading literally all of them #dcmk #not bnha #not gi

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jotunheimsaga · 5 days

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Sigyn Chapter 6

The police arrived a few hours after breakfast. Jess was heading downstairs with the others to hit the slopes when she spotted a group of officers talking to Sigyn.

There was no arguing. No big dramatic scene. Only a solemn look on Sigyn's face. Jess tried to avoid her eyes, but temptation won.

Sigyn noticed her immediately. Jess braced herself, remembering the bathroom and the supernatural fear she had felt. She anticipated a cold, threatening glare. A scowl. Any hint of anger. Even disgust or judgment.

Instead, Sigyn smiled, shaking her head as if laughing at the mischief of a child. She never dropped the grin as the police took her arm and escorted her outside.

Elizabeth, walking beside Jess, gave a small shrug and said: "I guess you were right," to Jess.

That was all the recognition she could expect. She could never confess to her police officer father and goody-two-shoes sister about breaking into the office, so her photos would forever be anonymous. Sometimes, victory had to be celebrated alone.

In Norway, officers kept weapons secured inside patrol cars, only accessible upon permission from superiors. It was a bit of culture shock that Chief Mikkelson quickly acclimated to. He rarely needed a weapon and found himself wanting one even less. Leading Miss Ransdottr to his patrol car was one of those rare moments. She didn't cause trouble - she didn't struggle or curse. She remained quiet and collected. Yet, something about her made the Chief keep one hand where his gun would have been if he were still working in Minneapolis.

None of the officers could detect Sigyn's growing internal panic. If she let the police take her down off the mountain, she would surely die. Of course, no one would believe her if she explained. Even if they did believe her... that would be a new problem.

Upon climbing into the back seat, warm air assaulted her face. She flinched, squirming to get away, but she couldn't escape the heat radiating from the very cushions under her. "I don't suppose we could blast the A.C.?" she asked the Chief as he sat behind the wheel.

Jon raised an eyebrow, glancing at the uncomfortable girl in the rearview mirror. It was freezing outside, and she was complaining about the warm car? "You may roll down one window."

Driving down the mountain, the breeze blowing inside did little to ease the burning air. Sigyn could feel it everywhere; across her skin, through her veins. Her lungs felt like they were being steamed from the inside out with every breath of the disgusting hot air. With each twist of the road, things only got hotter.

"Everything okay?" Jon asked, noticing her depleting state but unsure of what to make of it.

She hummed a confirmation, moving her head as little as possible. "I tend to get carsick and would hate to ruin your upholstery."

It was the truth - she did get horrible car-sickness, though now that was the least of her worries.

Arriving at the station, her condition worsened. Her eyelids couldn't quite stay opened, and her forehead glistened with sweat. Jon took her arm to help her out of the car, and recoiled upon feeling her icy cold skin. The last time he felt skin that cold was in the coroners office.

Officer Dahl, who arrived at the station just behind them, walked over to the car. "Everything alright, Chief?"

"I think she's having some kind of medical episode, but I don't know what. On one hand, she's sweating, and at the same time she feels ice-cold."

They elected to bring Sigyn inside to examine her more closely. The girl was almost totally limp between their arms, dragging her feet on the sidewalk. To Jon and Officer Dahl, it was a pristine summer day at 21 degrees Celsius with a cool breeze blowing in from the fjord. To Sigyn, the world was on fire, with the scorching sun from above and the burning concrete below.

The officers laid her on a couch in the waiting room. Officer Dahl gathered a few blankets to throw over her, but Sigyn weakly pushed them off. Through her hazy fever, she muttered the word "melting".

"No sweetheart, you're not melting, you're suffering from late-stage hypothermia," Dahl reassured her. "You brain is tricking you to think your really hot. Once we can get you warm, you'll feel better."

Sigyn shook her head. The stupid humans would never understand.

"It doesn't make sense," Jon said. "She was fine in the lodge. It was only when she was in my car that she started showing symptoms."

"If she doesn't improve soon, we may have to call paramedics." Dahl leaned over Sigyn to communicate more clearly. "Sweetheart, I need you to tell us if you are on any medications. Anything at all."

"Cold air," was all Sigyn managed to say.

Dahl didn't like it, but Jon knew they were out of ideas. With the girl's health fading, and her life possibly at stake, they had to go off any information available, so they carried her into the evidence locker that was kept at a consistent 3 degrees.

Upon first breath of cold air, Sigyn's condition immediately improved. Though more responsive, she was in no hurry to answer the officer's growing list of questions.

"You're saying this is a life-long condition you've had, and you can't remember the name of it?" Jon asked.

Sigyn shrugged. "I'm not great with medical terminology."

"Well," Dahl cut in, "perhaps when we get the paramedics down here, they can-"

"No!" Sigyn snapped. "You don't need to call anyone. Please. I'm fine."

"Oh, you're fine, are you?" Jon cracked open the door, making Sigyn scoot away from the draft of warm air. "Care to step outside this room and reiterate how fine you are?"

"You should at least let me take your temperature," Dahl offered,

Sigyn shook her head, holding two fingers up to her throat as if taking her pulse. She turned her wrist like she was checking a watch that she was not wearing. "No need! My temperature is...fine. It's normal. Just about at...normal. Yes. Anyway, I see no reason this cannot be further discussed at the lodge," Sigyn answered.

"Miss Ransdottr, your options at the moment are spending a night at the hospital or spending a night in a holding cell, which I can assure you, get's stuffy enough to drive a normal person crazy. Either way, we'd like you to tell us where you got your life collection from while we run fingerprints to tie you to our poaching case. The only variable is your level of cooperation."

Sigyn gave Jon a half-smile. "Do what you have to do, Chief."

#norse mythology #norwegian #mythology #mystery #fantasy story #fantasy series #writing #sigyn #chapters

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iwadori · 3 years

Note

are you going to do a 'when the haikyuu boys make you insecure' part with Iwaizumi / could I request that?

When they make you insecure part 6 (Iwaizumi,Matsukawa)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Word Count: 2.8K

Genre: Angst, Fluff

masterlist

AN: Did I embedd myself in this story? Yes, yes i did. :3 (it’s only a small part dw loool)

Iwaizumi

One day when you were walking to the gym to go see your boyfriend

You overhear him and the team talking about some instagram girl

“She’s hot” you hear Boktuo yell doing a hoot as he fawns over a picture, with the rest of the guys agreeing.

“What do you think Iwaizumi?” Hinata ask

“She’s cute... I guess?” the rest of the guys, grunt in disagreement at Iwa’s lack of drooling over the girl.

“Well I see why you wouldn’t want her Haji-kun,” says Atsumu “you are into the more simple girls bro”

“Simple?” Iwaizumi questions, and the rest of the guys agree

“Yeah simple, you know Y/N... she’s simple” says one of the guys, with the word ‘simple’ rolling off their tounge with a tone of disgust.

“I guess your right guys...” Iwaizumi says “Y/N is pretty basic and simple but-”

You leave the gym before you hear what the rest of them had to say. When you got to your house you bolt straight to the mirror, you look at your outfit and frown. You never thought your style was ‘basic,’ to be fair you wouldn’t describe anybodys style as basic or simple. Of course, you weren’t like those instagram influencers, that wasn’t your thing. But Iwa has known that about you for years... but I guess that’s not what he truly likes.

You go to your closet and take out all the contents, just tossing all your clothes (even some of your favourite items ever) and dashing them in a black trash bag putting them to the side. You were already on a mission to buy a whole new wardrobe, going through all different stores and looking on pinterest for inspo.

You didn’t really talk to Iwa for the rest of the week, since you wanted him to see you in your ‘new form,’ you weren’t being radiosilent but you didn’t initiate any hang outs with him or face time calls (which he did find slightly odd, but didn’t think that much by it.)

Finally, the clothes came and you were kind of shocked at how much you ordered you spent over £200 on clothes from all different places. When you were trying them on, you liked some of them the ones that were kind of similar to your past style but not so ‘simple,’ the others you kind of frowned at since it definitely didn’t feel like ‘you’ at all. ‘This is for Iwa,’ you reminded yourself as your forced a smile on your face analysing yourself in the mirror.

You had everything sorted, your wardrobe was now changed and done the colours and styles you once wore before is now the complete opposite. You invited Iwa over, hesistantly waiting to see how would he react.

When you hear your door knock, you rush over to open it and model a pose you saw one of those girl do trying to look as natural as possible.

“Hey babe ho-” he says, with his eyes widening seeing your new look “Woah Y/N!”

“Hey Haji..come in!” you exclaim with a beaming smile pulling him inside to the couch. “So, are we going to continue watching the crown, I watched the previous episode and god prince phillip is such a dick.”

You look over your shoulder and see Iwa still standing in your entranceway a bit awkwardly, looking a bit stunned. “Come sit down then, we’ve got an episode to watch.”

“uh oh yeah, sure” he says blinking, following you to the couch.

You got through atleast 4 episodes together, you barely talked as you were really engrossed in the show. Iwa was barely paying attention, he was too busy questioning how you were acting. This definitely wasn’t the girl he knew, even the way you were acting whilst watch the show was odd. The way you’d cutely giggle and ‘sublty’ look over to him whilst laughing at a funny part of the show instead of just doing your usual obnoxious laugh that he loved to hear.

“Oh Y/N, I’m going to go to the bathroom.” he says standing up, you don’t reply you just wave your hand in acknowledgement.

On his way to the bathroom, Iwa nearly trips on a black bag left outside your bedroom door. He opens it, and mildly gasped when he saw all your old stuff jumbled up in there. He picks up the back and goes straight back to the living room and stands in front of you.

“Haji, what are you doing you’re blocking the TV” you complaining trying to see what’s happening behind him.

He drops the black bag infront of you and you internally curse yourself for not moving. You stare at him waiting for him to say something.

“Well whats this then.” he says looking down at you, almost like a disapproving dad.

“Clothes.” you say smartly, knowing what he was asking.

“You know what I meant Y/N, why are all your clothes in a garbage bag.”

“Because I wanted to put them there,” you wanted to seem as nochalant about it as possible as if putting all your clothes in a garbage bag doesn’t make you feel sad.

“Yeah but why?” he says sitting down next to you.

“Just because I wanted to” you reiterate “what else do you want me to say?”

“Well this isn’t like you, its just a bit random Y/N” he says

“I know this isnt like me you” you spat, standing up “Isn’t this what you wanted anyways.” You head to your bedroom picking up the bag with you, with Iwa hot on your heels.

“What do you mean this is what I wanted?” he says in disbelief “When did I ever say that?”

“It doesn’t matter” you mumble, you start to aggressively take our your old clothes and shove them back into your wardrobe whilst Iwa is just talking. You’re not really listening to him your just putting the clothes back.

“Y/N Stop!” he yells kind of knocking you out of your ‘trance,’ “what is going on with you?” he grabs you hands and pulls them down stopping you from what you were doing and he winced at seeing your tear stricken face.

He gently pulls you into his arms sitting you both on your bed, waiting for you to speak. “I don’t know what you want from me Iwa..” you start your voice slightly breaking “it’s just I did this all for you and you don’t even appreciate it.”

“I don’t know what you mean Y/N?” he says sounding genuinely confused.

“Y/N is simple and basic.” you say repeating words that you heard your boyfriend say about you, you feel him tense as you say it and you slowly get out of his hug.

“Y/N I-”

“That really hurt Hajime, I know now that I'm not your ‘type’ but I-”

“No Y/N, you are my type of course you are!” he says gulping in nervousness “I love you, and your style. I’ve always being enamored by how you dress and present yourself and I don’t know why I even said you’re basic and simple I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Really?” you say sniffling looking down

“Yes really you idiot,” he says lifting your head up “To be fair I don’t care what you wear, since you look great in anthing I just want you to be happy Y/N and especially not dress for anyone including me. Okay?”

“Okay,” you agree slightly nodding your head.

“Good, so can we go and finish the crown and then burn all these clothes?” Iwa jokes as he stands up.

“Burn them!” you exclaim “These cost £200, you muppet.”

“£200! Gosh Y/N, next time you go shopping im definitely coming with you.” he says shaking his head “can’t have you blowing out your bank account for clothes you don’t even like that much.”

You spend the rest of the day finishing of The Crown and you and Iwa eventually both sort out your wardrobe. Your style and aethetic changes a lot more through the times you were together and Iwa was very supportive and helpful of every single change. Especially *insert your favourite dress aesthetic here.*

Matsukawa

You were walking with your friends; Iwa, Tooru, Maki and your boyfriend Matsun. Walking to school as you did every morning, today the topic of conversation was Tooru’s bad taste in women.

“Gosh yesterday was horrible, she didn’t want to talk to me at all,” he complained “all she wanted to do was to come straight to my place, I didn’t even have the chance to tell her my hair routine.”

“That’s why you don’t find dates off of Tinder shittykawa” grunted Iwaizumi

“Well I know that now!” he exclaimed.

“Y/N,” said Makki grasping your attention “Would you ever use Tinder?”

“Well I-”

“Of course she wouldn’t” your boyfriend interrupted wrapping his arm round your shoulder “she’s got me”

“Yeah, but if you two weren’t together, would you use it.”

“Well may-”

“Y/N definitely wouldn’t” he said interrupting you AGAIN “she’s way to frigid for that shit”

Frigid? You thought to yourself, ouch. Their was a quick awkward silence and all you could hear was Matsukawa laughing with the others laughing after awkwardly in pursuit. After sensing your uncomfortability (is that a word?) Oikawa decides to change the subject to make things less awkward,

“I need a woman who understands me!” he rants “One that can listen to me and appreciate my awesome hair.”

“Goodluck with that Shittykawa.”

Oikawa rambles on as you walk to school with the other guys chiming in. You on the other hand, were lost in thought. Your sex life wasn’t something you would want to publicly talk about let alone to you and your boyfriends' male friends. Also, with Matsun describing you as ‘frigid’ struck a nerve. You weren’t frigid, well at least to you, you weren’t.

When you got to school you immediately rushed straight to your lesson claiming that you teacher really needed to talk to you. Which was odd to Matsukawa as you usually all hung around each other until the bell rang, the other boys gave each other knowing looks all assuming the reasons for your odd behaviour.

At lunch time, you stayed in your class instead of going up to the roof where you and your friends usually end up. In the class room you hear one of the girls in your class, Empress having one of her usual gossip conversations with her group of friends.

“Hajime is so hot!” she said, fanning her face being dramatic

“Of course he is! You should totally go for him.” her friend said and the rest of the friends agreed.

“What do you think Y/N?” she says to you catching your attention “you’re close friends with him right?”

“Yeah, I am” you say a bit sadly “You should definitely go for him, I think you’d be perfect together.”

“Okay! I think I might later” she says smiling. Her and friends leave, but then Empress returns and walks straight to you.

“Are you alright doll?” she asks softly smiling

“I guess so..” you say hesitantly “It’s just something my boyfriend said to me this morning.”

“Matsun?” she asks and you nod in reply “What did he say?”

After you rehash the situation from this morning Empress scowls in annoyance, “Boys can be such pigs sometimes, such a dick thing to say.”

“I know right!” you respond “Even if I was frigid, which im totally not it’s not even a bad thing nor is it something to reveal to people in public in a ‘jokey’ way.”

“Yeah!” she agrees “I think you should go and give him a piece of your mind.”

“I mean...” your voice falters, when it comes to Matsun you’ve never really given him a ‘piece of your mind,’ even when he makes jokes that you’re not so fond of.

“Come on!” she encourages “I’ll come with you and cheer you on.”

“You just want to come to see Iwa Empress” you say pointedly “But fine let’s go.”

You both power walk to the roof where you see the four seijoh boys sitting down and eating. “Oh hi Y/N/-chan and look Iwa its Emp-chan... isn’t that a surprise!” Iwa blushes and the rest of the guys laugh.

You walk straight up to Matsun and stand right infront of him. “Matsukawa I need to talk to you,” you say folding your arms. “Why whats up babe?” he says, still sitting down with a cheeky grin on his face.

“Alone.” you say turning around walking to a secluded spot. Behind you, you hear Matsun get up and the rest of the boys saying “oooh Matsukawa your in trouble” as they laugh.

“What’s wrong with you today Y/N?” he asks slightly accusatorily.

“I didn’t appreciate the comment you made today on the way to school,” you say with your arms folded.

“Oh that little comment about you being frigid, come on it was just a joke I wasn’t being serious.” he says lightly laughing but he stops once he sees the glare you give him ”you knew it was a joke right?”

“Matsun, some are your jokes just aren’t funny,” you say “especially when they're about me and our sex life in front of our friends too.”

“Y/N I didn’t mea-”

“You just come off as a huge dick sometimes, and I can’t do this anymore if you keep on making these comments anymore I don’t think I can do this.”

��Woah Y/N, are you threatening to break up with me?” he asks “Over a few little comments?”

“These aren’t a few little comments, sometimes what you say is just unnecessary and rude.”

“Okay well...”

“Well...” you repeat staring at him waiting for to apologise or atleast say something, “fuck you Matsukawa.”

You storm away and walk bout to the group saying “Empress lets go.” She jumps of Iwa’s lap and waves by to them following you back down to the school. You walk into the bathroom and just start to cry, “Y/N whats wrong?” Empress says pulling you into a hug

“H-He doesn’t care,” you cry “He pretty much excused his stupid comments, passing them off as little ‘jokes,’ that didn’t apparently mean anything.”

“Oh dear,” Empress says consoling you “he’s not worth your time right now.”

“B-but but I love him.” you wail fat tears streaming down your face.

“I know sweetheart, I know,” she says letting go of the hug “so what do you wanna do about him?”

“I don’t know,” you say “I don’t want to break up with him or anything, but is there a point in staying if he’s just going to make these comments again.”

“I don’t know Y/N, but whatever you wanna do I’ll support. Wether it’s keying his car or reading shitty fanfiction and crying.” Empress says making you laugh.

The final bell rings and now it's time to go home, of course you don’t walk with the guys so you just enjoy your own company walking home.

“Y/N! Y/N!” you hear from behind you and of course the only person it can be is Matsukawa.

“What do you want?” you mumbled

“I..I want too” he says heaving out of breath from the running he had to do “I want to apologise. I need do.”

“Okay...” you respond

“Im sorry, Im so so sorry,” he says “those jokes and comments were stupid and I agree I can be a dick sometimes. Well a lot of the time, but I never wanted to be a dick to you.”

“Well you were.”

“I know I was, and I’m so sorry. There’s no excuse what I said and what I have said before I just hope I can make it up to you.”

“Okay then.”

“So are we not broken up?”

“No we’re not broken up, but it’ll take a lot of making up to do for me to fully forgive you.”

“Great! And I'll spend every day to get you to forgive me.”

Which he did, he spent every day showering you with love and affection. He was way better than he was before, you even went on double dates with Oikawa and his flavour of the week and triple dates with Iwa and his girlfriend. Matsukawa, although he still made jokes, he never targeted them and centered them around you in an insulting way.

AN: I didn’t really like the matsukawa one since i couldn’t really write for him properyl sooo sorry bout that one kids.

#haikyuu x reader comfort #haikyu angst #haikyu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyu scenarios #haikyu headcanons #haikyu #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi angst #iwaizumi scenarios #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi fluff #matsukawa x reader #matsukawa angst #matsukawa fluff #matsukawa oneshot #signedwithane😌

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midnightsxxvi · 2 years

Text

For You, From Westview (Chapter 7)

Previous Chapter | Series Masterlist

Pairing - Bucky x fem!reader / avenger!reader / fem!reader

Warnings - Some cursing! As per usual, some dialogue is from WandaVision episodes.

Wordcount - 2.3k (next parts will be longer. This one just needed to be out there)

header sources - 1 3

───※ ·❆· ※───

You didn’t know who to turn to.

The force field shifted. And you came back to consciousness. Vision was still out of sight and you had no idea where to even begin looking for him. All that was behind you was a massive field with the trees in the distance and the daylight sky. Perhaps you could follow into the forest and search, or make your way past Ellis Ave onto the other rural roads, but it would all be time costly and close to hopeless. All you could do was hope that he was okay.

For now, you needed to get back home and gather your thoughts because you couldn't think of what else to do. Confronting Wanda seemed foolish on your own.

So, you’d have to wait. Even though you didn’t know exactly what you were waiting for besides the slim chance that Vision would find you, and even though you’d been sitting and waiting for something for who knows how long now.

The walk home was lengthy and tiresome, and you agonized over how bright and cheery the setting around you was when you knew so many people were trapped in their minds because of whatever Wanda was doing.

You didn’t know when night turned into day, and you didn’t know when or how your bat costume had turned into a normal outfit for you. You hadn’t felt or noticed a shift; it just happened and felt like no real time had passed. As you were aware of it though, you wondered if things were this way this whole time? Would the time pass faster than it was in reality? You swore you’d been here for months, but had it really been that long? When did your home change? When did the wars shift? What kind of strange magic was this, holding you all in and messing with reality?

At a crossroad, you could turn one way toward your home, or you could turn the other toward Wanda’s. Going home had to be the right choice– the safest choice. Yet, you gazed toward the latter.

You’d been sitting put long enough. This feeling of a lonely housewife in waiting was killing you more every passing moment.

You stepped toward the direction of Wanda’s home. You weren’t yet sure of your intention, whether you would confront her or not, or perhaps just say hello and see if she suspected anything. But going in that direction felt right, like some internal magnetic force, and it didn’t feel sinister.

───※ ·❆· ※───

Beside Bucky, Monica’s eyes were glowing blue as she stared toward the town before them. Has she always been able to do that? Bucky wondered, Is that ‘cause of the hex? Are my eyes also glowing blue?

A little off due to the forcefield, Bucky asked Monica, “Are my eyes blue?”

She blinked a few times, looking toward him with her brown eyes again. “What?”

Bucky, whose eyes are regularly blue, realized that this question made no sense. “Do you have powers?”

Monica’s expression changed for a millisecond before she straightened up and looked toward town again. “We need to find Wanda.”

Before Bucky could ask further, Monica was speed walking away. He took a whole moment before his feet got the hint to follow.

“When did it become day!” He asked, trying to catch up. Sure, the guy had the ability to speed run, but he loved a simple jog.

“I don’t know, James!”

He frowned at the name, “I need to find y/n.”

She briefly looked at him, disappointed. “I know you want to, but I want you to come with me. You’re familiar with Wanda, and it’ll help.”

We were once on the same team, he thought, recalling the Soviet accords, and when it felt like the world was after him.

The word was after him and somehow Wanda was on his side.

There’d never been many words shared between the two of them, but Bucky knew that now, he had to be on her side too.

Because of his silence, Monica knew he would follow. He just went slow.

───※ ·❆· ※───

Eventually, you found Wanda’s street, approaching 2800 with only adrenaline pushing you forward.

Agatha was outside trimming her hedges, and glanced at you curiously. “Howdy, y/n.”

You merely gave her a wave. She had been strange when you and Vis found her by Ellis Ave. Something was up with her. Perhaps Vision didn’t realize it, but you did. Ignoring her, not replying to her greeting, you walked right up toward Wanda’s home and let yourself in.

Wanda stood at the counter in her kitchen, dressed casually as ever as a mother on her day off.

“Y/n?” she questioned with a small tilt of her head when she saw you barge in.

“What is this place?” You had planned to sound brave, demand answers, however your voice came out as a crack.

“What are you talking about?”

“All of this!” Your arms waved around, “This town? There’s magic here, and it’s not real and w-what is it!”

Her expression went serious, with a hint of fear in her eyes. “Y/n…”

You walked forward, your hands spread in a peaceful grace, your eyes pleading, “Wanda, please, I am not trying to accuse you of anything. I love you. I’ve always trusted you. Please just tell me what’s going on.”

As you approached, she glanced down at your hands which were reaching for hers. She accepted your hands on hers. “I-I don’t know.” “You do know this isn’t real though, right?”

You watched her gulp, her hands cold. “I can’t explain. H-How did you even figure this out? When?”

How could you tell her? How could you explain that her husband explored behind her back, and now his location was unknown? Was he even alive, you wondered? No, he is alive. She would know. Somehow, she’d know if he wasn’t anymore.

But really. Vision wasn’t alive to begin with.

And this memory was a kick in the gut that you hadn’t paused to think about.

Wanda’s expression softened as she watched your eyes water. Instead of questioning you further, she did her best to explain: “I-I don’t know how this happened. Honestly. I just… I just wanted my family.”

You shook your head, “But all the people? They’re not themselves. It doesn’t feel right. This isn’t fair.”

I wasn’t myself, you realized. You trapped me too.

She seemed to think the same thing as you, guilt written all over her expression.

However, when she opened her mouth to speak again, you heard the front door open and both of you turned to see the new guest.

“Wanda,” Francine walked into the door. Except she wasn’t really Francine. She was different now, except maybe this is how she was really. Her hair more modern, and some sort of superhero gear on, the emblem of something called SWORD at the centre of her chest. “Wanda!”

Instantly, Wanda’s whole demeanor changed.

Her softness for you had shifted as she faced Francine, whoever she was, with absolute rage. “What are you doing here?”

“Wanda, listen to me–”

Wanda’s voice raised at a frightening level. She sneered, raising her hands, the magic coursing through her, “GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.”

“Hayward was–”

“DON’T.” Wanda’s magic flashed red, a sight you hadn’t seen in a long time. You could barely process what was going on before she was forcing Francine up into the air, magic wrapping around the woman’s body as she was forced out of the home.

In a panic, you followed. It felt surreal, watching as in the middle of the ordinary street, a woman was floating many feet above ground, Wanda’s rage soaring.

“Wanda,” you tried to call after her, rushing to the front steps, but you struggled to raise your voice. Besides, all Wanda heard was her own voice as she rasped through her anger.

Your stomach dropped when after one more scream, Wanda slammed Francine to the ground in a force that was life threatening. A quiet scream left your mouth. Your shock shifted as instead of injury, Francine found her footing and landed on the ground with her own sense of magic glowing from her own hands, protecting her fall.

To say you were confused was an understatement. You wanted to step in, stop Wanda, but your feet felt frozen.

Your eyes flickered around the street, panicking as you realized just how many neighbors were observing the scene. Eyes of these folks who thought all was well this whole time. Dottie. A mail man. A couple walking a stroller. Eyes of confusion and fear.

And then you saw him.

Somehow, like a ghost in the distance, there was Bucky, his eyes right on you.

Your stomach dropped in a different way, a mix of longing, agony, and love filling your lungs.

You couldn’t move. Just linger in the doorway, afraid to step out and insert yourself in the scene. He seemed the same, on the sidewalk houses away, lingering under a tree where Wanda didn’t really see him.

Bucky likely mirrored your expression, his brows raised in sadness and worry. Was he really here? Were you just imagining?

You had no idea what was happening with Wanda and the other woman because their voices became more hushed. They moved closer to each other, tensions rising even more than you thought possible.

But you didn’t care. Neither did he.

You slipped away unnoticed, cutting through the grass and walking over as fast as you could without causing a scene.

He looked worried, yet relieved at the same time. You had no clue what he knew, what his mental state was, or how long it had been, but you knew he was real. It was him. Not something conjured up in this weird town, or some glamour. You could feel it. This was your Bucky.

Any worry was far off at the moment. You pushed aside fears that he hated you, didn’t need you. You needed to hold him.

The fears were unnecessary anyway, because he was stepping toward you too eventually, after something kicked in his brain that you were actually there, actually walking toward him.

Under the shade of a tree, in the middle of the grass, your body crashed with Bucky’s and your arms were around each other.

He breathed out your name, his fingers gripping into the fabric of your shirt.

There were no words you could come up with to explain how you felt. No question you could think to ask first. No greeting that explained just how deeply you missed him.

Instead, you just adjusted to look at his face, into his blue eyes that the photos couldn’t get quite right.

“I–” You started but your breath caught in your throat. Nearby, chaos was going down, but it seemed a thousand miles away.

Tentatively, he brought his hand to cup your face, an action that felt so familiar, yet so strange at once. When was the last time he’d done this? When was the last time you’d been so near?

“What do you remember?” He asked carefully.

“V-vision, he–I remember. I remember. Vision brought my memory back.”

For some reason, his hand fell from your face, yet gently. Bucky nodded. “That’s good.”

“Good?” You scoffed before biting your lip. This was not the time to argue with him. “That’s all you have to say? What the hell is going on, Buck? What is this place? How is Vision here? He–” your voice cut again.

He panicked, “No, no, I know, I’m sorry, I’m just at a loss for words.”

Against your will, your hands shook. You weren’t sure which feeling sourced this. Were you angry? Scared? Tired? It was all a lot. “How’d you even get here?”

“Rambeau,” Bucky stated.

You blinked. “Who?”

He glanced over to where Monica was, and in this action of searching for her, he realized that Wanda was no longer anywhere in sight. “Wait.”

You followed his gaze, realizing the same thing.

Francine, who you figured was actually someone named Rambeau, stood still on the sidewalk, looking in the opposite direction. You were about to question further until she turned and glanced your way, disappointment on her face.

You were watching her, trying to figure out who she truly was or if she was familiar outside this town, but then you felt eyes on you. Looking back at Bucky, he was only looking at you. It was hard to gauge the expression. He looked worried and tired, yet somewhat relieved.

“What?” You asked. He always had a bit of a staring problem.

“Are you okay?” His voice was quieter now.

“Confused, mostly.”

Briefly, you glanced over to Rambeau, seeing that she was stepping forward, heading toward you two. Bucky grabbed your attention back again, as though running out of time before she came over. Although he had not been the most physically affectionate man the past seventy years, his hand found your forearm, holding you gently in whatever way he could.

“I mean,” he continued, “What has this place done to you? Were you aware of anything?”

You shook your head, your hand holding him as well, the two of you close to embracing. “No. I just felt lonely. I–” You couldn’t continue. How could you? It would be embarrassing to tell him I was brainwashed this whole time into thinking you were my husband and I missed you a lot. A way around opening up about that, you asked, “Wait, did you actually send me a letter?”

His lips parted, and he was about to speak, but Monica interrupted.

“Hey, you two,” she tried to sound as calm as she could, but was clearly on edge due to the whole Wanda thing. “We can kiss and make up later, but we need to find Wanda.”

───※ ·❆· ※───

Taglist @matchat3a @whore-like-behaviour @smplymrvl @imaginemixedfandom @buckyys-doll @hotleaf-juice @ivybarns @witchybabel

#long post #bucky barnes #Bucky Barnes fic #wandavision #wanda maximoff #wandavision au #au #bucky westview au #westview au #bucky x reader #bucky x yn

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abbynx · 3 years

Text

A friend's friend

Adrian Chase, Reader and Chris Smith being besties.

Genre: Platonic, maybe a little angsty

Warning: Mentions of Chris past, cursing

A/N: @bvcksmurdock along with other friends proposed this fic idea and I just can't resist.

The main concept is the end of the scene of Episode four, where Adrian gets a little vulnerable.

So yes... Please enjoy.

"You good there, Y/N?" Chris asks out of concern, glancing from the passenger seat to see you have draped yourself across the backsea, face first and had heard your muffled groaning for an extensive period of time.

You only hold up a thumb up, lifting your head ever so slightly to give them man an awkward smile, before face planting on the seat again. "It's insulting that I'm the first man down and I am an Argus agent and I've been doing this gig since forever. Mother fucker gave me a concussion. That fight last night was rigged, you guys surely paid the guy to knock me out first."

"That doesn't even make sense! He's the enemy, why would we—"

God, do I need to clarify that I was being sarcastic?

"Hey Adrian?"

"Hmm?"

"Shut up."

You can never understand why and how can Chris tolerate this shithead. But your guess a friend's friend is now your friend as well. As much as Adrian is proud of his title of "Peacemaker's best friend", you were the first friend Chris has, ever since you were young. You've fought with him on the fighting ring, attended school with him (until you were expelled and pulled out due to behavioural issues). You find yourself working under Amanda Waller with an extensive range of arsenal and fighting style and reunited with your childhood best friend through this little escapade.

Adrian is admittedly, a tad bit jealous of your friendship, but you never had a threesome with Chris, so there's that! Who is the Chris' Ultimate bestie now?

Much to his detriment, his bestie points aren't high enough to convince Chris not to allow you a ride at the backseat, with Adrian's Vigilante mask off. Great, now you know who he is. You couldn't care less about his identity, you figured he was the busboy back at Fennel Fields staring at Chris. You recognised his body language immediately. Though you're a cool person, Adrian is still a little bitter about you. He internally promised to himself that if you spilled about his identity, you will be dead. At least there, he would have Chris all to himself.

After a round of bickering in the car in front of the Smith lawn about dad's, you can only stay silent and scoff at the fact that Chris' old bastard has an upside down flag on his lawn. Chris left the car, leaving you and Vigilante within it.

Peaceful and silence at last, but you can't help but to feel wary to hear the man who never shuts up, shutting up. Peaking from one eye, you realise he is taking his clothes off in favour of a civilian outfit.

"What are you doing?"

"Changing." He answers in a as a matter of factly-tone.

You roll your eyes with a sigh, "I know dumbass, but why?"

"To blend in. I can't be seen walking in full uniform in broad daylight." He says, shrugging on a red jacket and zipping it halfway to show his blue shirt underneath.

"Yesterday you were just hiding behind a trash can spying on us, in broad daylight." And you can recall how fucking ridiculous was his exchange with Harcourt was.

"That wasn't me, that must've been my clone."

"Don't tell me you're going in after Chris." You swerve the conversation away before it can get convoluted. Not even a day of knowing him, he already strikes you as someone who can get ridiculously out of hand. He sat in silence, void of the intention to respond. You tip your head forward in anticipation. "Well?"

"Well you said I shouldn't tell you." He was mildly annoyed when he said that.

"Whatever. You're an adult, I'm not stopping you."

"I won't listen to you anyways," he speaks in an obnoxious, high pitched voice, before slamming the car door.

You can only roll your eyes at him, before turning yourself to your side to get comfortable at the backseat. At least he didn't shut the air-conditioning off. The battle from last night was humiliating, and you have a raging headache to prove it. The painkillers has yet to take effect and it was driving you off the wall. It was as if your mild concussion wasn't enough after your ego was bruised in that fight.

You stir yourself upwards and looked outside when you heard a commotion. You wouldn't really bother, it's typical for Chris to get into a screaming match, but something reeled you in to eavesdrop.

"You're gonna end up like your father soon enough."

Your stomach dropped at the mention of it. You knew the debacle regarding Economos placing August Smith to replace the fingerprints in some woman's murder and Murn had begged you not to tell Chris. At least not yet.

Next thing you knew, Adriam is behind the steering wheel again whilst Chris was livid.

"Chris please, calm down—"

"You knew! You knew and you didn't tell me?!"

You slink away, giving him the space he needs. "I was going to tell you but Murn's orders—"

"Fucking Murn! Fuck this team! I thought I could trust you!" Chris fumes, digging through his pocket to fish for his phone before he calls the leader of this operation. "What the fuck Murn! The only way to get the cops off our tail is to frame my dad for what I did? It's my dad, man! Jesus, you ever have a fucking dad?! No, no, my dad's in jail and I'm going to see him. Well fuck you, man! You people only care about yourselves anyways!"

You shrink from the backseat, hiding your arms to your chest. You really did intend to tell him if it weren't for Murn holding you back, if you could, you would defy him. But with the microchip in the base of your skull, you can't.

You remain silent and unresponsive to your environment, as if shutting down. To be told that he thought he could trust you was a massive blow to your remaining humanity. He's the remnant of one of the most bearabke stage of your life and reuniting with him years later was the best fucking feeling you ever felt... But now it's gone.

The car arrives at the Evergreen police station. Ahhh, Evergreen Police. It was about time that old fart got arrested, but under false charges, it didn't feel right. You just wished he served more prison time when he was White Dragon. The ruinous bastard who calls himself the White Dragon, and yet everything he touches turns to black, decay. Your father had interacted with him, and he transformed into a stranger, a monster. You just wished Chris just cut the bastard off.

You were hesitant to walk alongside them, but you did anyways, Adrian turned the air-conditioning off. You keep your pace behind them, hands in your pocket and head down in shame. The more you see Chris nearer and nearer by the steps of the station, you couldn't take it anymore.

"Chris—"

"Fuck off, L/N. You were supposed to be my friend." He doesn't turn to face you, he quicken his pace.

Clicking your tongue, you jogged over to block his path. "Please just listen to me for a second. We messed up, it was an impulsive decision and we had to think fast, please don't do this— this will destroy what we've been working for."

Thankfully, he halts in his tracks to lend an ear for you. "Was it Murn?"

"It was Economos." Snitching wasn't your style, but knowing Murn, he might issue another meeting regarding this, so telling Chris will not change a thing.

"Motherfucker! How'd he do it?"

"He change the car registration from your name to your dad's, along with your fingerprints to his. Double checking isn't exactly a protocol." His face softens at the slightest at your honesty, but he assumes back to his task.

"I can't just abandon him. I gotta talk to him—" before he can take another step, you block him again.

"Chris, your father is not worth visiting. He's an ungrateful wretch who ruined your life—"

"YOUR FATHER SOLD YOU OFF FOR BOOZE MONEY!"

You scoff, "Really? You're swerving the topic away from you to utelise my past trauma on me? That's the lengths you'll go through to defend your father?"

"At least I don't psychoanalyze other people to make myself feel better!"

"Look, my point is this is a perfect opportunity to finally cut him off! What's the best he's done for you? Sure, he provided you you gadgets and weapons and shit, but what good has he contributed to your life? Nothing good." His silence made you continue. "He is a white supremacist who dresses up as a 'superhero' called the White Dragon. He is the opposite of what you fight for."

"He's not as bad as he seems!"

"He thinks people with coloured skins are second class citizens! He thinks men showing emotions are pansies! He objectifies women, he placed you—" you stopped. Spilling further will not be doing you better, but the most important thing is that you got your point across. You resume after a deep breath, "I know that we look up to our parents and believe that they are inherently good, that they have a soft spot. But your dad? Chris, I don't think he's ever told you he is proud of you. He is not a good man. Not ever."

Every word has embedded deep within his brain, that he grows lax. For a moment you thought he wasn't going to continue visiting his father in prison, but he remains stubborn.

"He's still family." And with that, he walks off.

You've done your part and you failed. You can only watch with detriment as he enters the establishment. You closed your eyes and leaned your head back, heaving a breath to lift the heavy feeling off your chest. "Goddamn it, Chris."

"He's got to do what he's got to do, I guess..." Adrian muses beside you, placing both of his hands in his hips.

"Whatever, I need to sit down..."

If you continue any further to stand there, the reservoir in your eyes might just burst. Adrian follows you, seating himself a good one feet away from you. The awkward silence lingers between the two of you.

Admittedly, Adrian felt a little triumphant when Chris told you off in the car. Hmm, that means he is now the Ultimate best friend! But then the confrontation awhile ago made his heart sink in guilt. Maybe you are Chris' Ultimate bestie for a reason, you've known him since childhood and distance and years of not seeing each other, the two of you maintained a sturdy bond. Adrian saw how deep you got into Chris' past and knew which words to use to convince him. He was convinced Chris would listen to you, but alas.

"You think they'll arrest Peacemaker in there?" He spoke to fill in the silence.

"No. We got his father arrested in his stead. Unless Chris tells his father about the switcheroo we made then maybe they might." Adrian sighs in disappointment. Well, isn't that uplifting of you. "Chris and I... We were friends. He was a little shithead, I was a littleshithead and we bonded a lot as kids. I remember the two of us playing pretend that we were a popular rock band, he said he was the main vocal playing drums while I do the main melody of a guitar, and we would just make instrument cut outs made of cardboard and just— rock away."

Adrian spots a small, get sad smile on your dazed face as you recall the past, he couldn't help but to smile as well.

"And in rainy days, we would just be listening to music, blare the speakers off and jump around the room. His favourite colour is red, and I'm happy that it still is. When we were little we planned to sneak in concerts when we hit middle school and try to get in the VIP seats but then my dad had me taken away before we can do that." The smile fades from your features. "His dad told my dad that the best way to gain instant cash was to sell me off the black market... And he did. So in hindsight, his dad ruined my life too.

"I just don't get why Chris remains connected to his old man, it's simply unhealthy. Chris is somewhat of a good guy, like you. I'm glad he met you to provide him some sort of company. He would have felt so alone but thankfully you're there... Even if you're annoying." Adrian does not know whether to be flattered or offended, all he can do was to stare at you. "I'm sorry if it seems like I'm taking him away from you, I'm not. He's my friend too and I wish him the best there is. But if he keeps clinging to his old man, Chris is going to continue to be unhappy with life.

"I hope the old man would just drop dead. Then and there. So that Chris' won't be worrying about him anymore and that our operation won't be fucked up." There was a wishful look in your eyes, only to be then dampened with pessimism. "As much as I constantly shit on Chris' old man, the guy is tough. Weapon or no weapon. Other than that, he has followers everywhere. That's how strong of a man he is."

Adrian stares at you, your gaze distant as if you ran with the memories in your head, before he stood from his seat. You break from your reverie to glance up at him. "Where are you going?"

"I gotta do something..."

"Um... Okay..." You stare at his form as he walks away, before you took another breath. Recalling those memories had you tearing up. Why can't you just return to your old life? However, before you can allow yourself to fully shed tears, you see Chris approaching, causing you to scurry and vigorously wipe the cuff of your sleeves under your eyes.

"Where's Vigilante?"

"He went somewhere, I don't know where." You huffed, attempting to maintain a nonchalant composure. Maybe the guy went home after seeing you spill your guts out about how much of a bestie you were with Chris. "How did it go?"

"He said he'll rat us out." Of course he would.

You just nodded slowly, staring off into space again. "Let's just go home. I'm tired." You took hold of his wrist and began to walk him to the car.

"Hey, what do about—"

"Murn will work it out. Let's just go home."

"Murn said we gotta keep eyes on Vigilante—"

"He cannot walk without limping and whine as if he is dying, do you think he'll go far?"

Chris sighs, you always make a good point. You take Vigilante's place in the driver's seat and started the vehicle with a makeshift key in your pocket.

"You're going to be fine, Chris." You uttered to fill the silence with substance, whilst you keep your eyes fixed on the road.

He scoffs, "My dad hates my guts. Everybody hates my guts. I'm a choad... Not a good kind."

"I don't hate your guts and I think you're a good choad." Whatever does choad even means, anyways?

Chris smiles at your direction. "Thanks."

"Wanna stop by a seven eleven to buy noodles? We can make noodle chips and maybe a pack of—" your phone in your pocket began to vibrate, much to your dismay. Sighing, you shimmy your phone out of your pocket, answering it without catching a glimpse of the contact info. "Hello?"

"Oh my god! We are so incredibly fucked! Like, next level fucked! Okay, I checked restraints they were right and I don't know how they got lose!"

"Judomaster?" Your blood ran cold. Oh god, the green thing that gave a mild concussion escaped? Before you can get any response, a commotion on the other side of the line disrupted you train of thoughts. Without a second thought, you did a 180 and sped back to the HQ. "Sorry Chris, we gotta go back. Judomaster escaped."

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Somehow, Murn had gotten a word that Vigilante has got himself arrested.

"Every time I turn around one of you is doing something fucked up! I thought Waller gave me soldiers! Instead I got an Apple dumpling gang!"

You disregard their following banter and held your head in your hands. You weren being serious, why did he do it? You should have known better than to ramble off like that.

"You told Vigilante to kill Peacemaker's father?" Murn finally turns his attention to you after he told John a crisp 'Fuck you'.

"I didn't tell him to kill Auggy, I was just going off hypothetically! I didn't specify that he should kill him! How am I supposed to know he's going to take it seriously?" You look up from your hands.

"Seeing as we already losing his trust, how would he feel that we manipulated his best friend to kill his father?!"

Everyone's attention shifts to John again. It almost felt like he was the one under scrutiny over you. When they were done with John, Murn turns to you once again.

"He'll know what you did, not only that, his father is the goddamned White Dragon, is a trained killer! He could kill Vigilante, were taking in the butterflies, one man down!"

"I'm so sorry, Murn..." You sighed. It was not your intention to fuck it up, you were simply recalling the good time and wishing the guy would just die. Though you meant it, you knew it wouldn't be brought to reality. You underestimated Vigilante's thinking and Chris would think of you as a traitor. Vigilante might just be fucked in the prison you knew you couldn't stand against the White Dragon let alone Adrian.

"Can you get Vigilante out of the system before he screws us worse than we're already screwed?" Murn refers to John.

"I don't even know his name." John stood from his seat and headed behind his desk, on his computer.

"5'11, green eyes, brown hair, white guy... The busboy at Fennel Fields..." You describe, watching Economos' fingers danced across the keyboard.

"Got him. Adrian Chase."

Harcourt turns to you with furrowed brows. "I'm sorry, that guy?"

You nodded, "Yup."

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

You caught Harcourt on her way out of the bar and timidly approached her, hands deep in your pocket. "Hey Harcourt umm... Can I accompany you picking up Adrian?"

"Sure." Thankfully she didn't mind you. Unlike the rest of the team, she tolerated you the most. She's known you for as long as she can remember in Argus and you've always been a good agent... She was confused how you fucked it all up like that.

You boarded the passenger seat and strapped yourself in her car, before it started to head to the Evergreen police station. Your clammy hands remained clenched in your pocket wanting to transfer the pressure in your chest elsewhere. You didn't even know if you could look Adrian in the eye, whatever happened to him there?

The inevitable arrived, Adrian just walked off the doors and stopped when he saw you and Harcourt.

"We're taking you home, get in." You were shocked at Harcourt's uncharacteristically soft voice, it was warm and welcoming. You expected her to chastise the fuck out of Adrian and readied yourself to stop her.

He enters the backseat quietly. You glance at him from the rearview mirror. Not an injury was visible, contrary to your worries. You might just not forgive yourself to accidentally using your voice to manipulate someone into making your wishes come true. And those wishes are not particularly easy to make into fruition without being scathed.

"He's still alive... I-I'm Adrian by the way..."

"I'm Y/N. Nice to meet you Adrian." You turn your head at him at the backseat with a small smile.

"I think I might've made things worse..."

The small quiver in his voice made your heart clench. You glance at Harcourt to be granted a silent permission. She gives you a small smile, nodding at you. You unclasp the seatbelt off, before squeezing yourself between the passenger and driver seat to get to Adrian. You took his hand in yours and gave it a small squeeze.

"It's okay... We'll get through this..." You reassure him, before engulfing him in your arms.

He freezes, before he allows himself to melt in your embrace.

Huh... No wonder you're Chris' Ultimate bestie, you have the most warmest hugs. Maybe he can be your bestie too... A friend's friend is a friend after all.

#x reader #adrian chase x reader #chris smith x reader #platonic #peacemaker hbo max #peacemaker fanfic #peacemaker x reader #vigilante x reader #friendship #angst

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thedoubteriswise · 4 years

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okay so. I am a smart adult with many important responsibilities. I have good taste and care about things that matter. for this reason, I’ve been trying to identify where in cql canon wangxian manage to fuck.

because they definitely do; I like a good post-canon getting together fic as much as the next guy, but it’s just not realistic.

allow them. it’s already been so long.

(just like this goddamn post turned out to be, let’s do a cut)

right. so initially it looks like you could place this right after the time skip in episode 33, because it shows us that wwx is with lwj in cloud recesses. we know that he spent the night in the jingshi because he wakes up there the next morning before he goes for a nostalgic tour of his old school.

and also visits the cold spring, where lwj is mostly naked. nice.

but wait! wwx is surprised by the scars on his back and chest. that seems like something he would have known about if they’d already been naked together the night before, so I’m going to say they did not fuck immediately upon wwx’s return to cloud recesses. okay, fine, they’re taking things slow, that’s cool.

maybe they could work it into the next night, then. oh wait, lqr is injured and... staying in the jingshi? for reasons?

I don’t know why. he must have his own house in cloud recesses, and it’s probably at least as comfortable as lwj’s, but here he is. he lives to stop his nephew from getting laid, I guess.

the next day they do some Q&A with the kids and determine that they need to head to qinghe to figure out what’s going on with this sword thing. great! we love a romantic road trip, plenty of alone time. but they also have to do their jobs, and then jin ling needs to get rescued from a wall of dirt, and jc is unfortunately there being himself, and then they have to grill nhs about his tomb full of angry sabers, etc. etc.

with all that going on, their next obvious chance is at the inn immediately after interviewing nhs. this evening has already included:

wwx gazing lovingly at lwj from afar

lwj carrying wwx on his back

lwj pawing at wwx’s robes trying to deal with his cursed leg

lwj helping wwx up the stairs, serving him wine, fixing his flute, and generally being at his beck and call

a very sexy and homoerotic duet

and now they’re alone and drooling over each other as usual. this seems like a plausible spot, right?

it does! but no. after they go back to the nie basement o’ swords and hear the backstory on nmj’s death, we see them walking in yueyang and lwj asks wwx how the curse mark on his leg is doing. wwx says it’s almost healed, which may or may not be a lie, but his inner monologue says:

he’s more concerned about the wound on his arm from the sacrificing curse, which lwj doesn’t know about, because wwx won’t tell him and they still haven’t been naked together.

also, this silly teenage shit doesn’t make much sense unless they’re still dancing around each other.

you guys love the sound of opportunities as they go flying past, don’t you?

right after this, lwj gets drunk. I’m aware that Stuff Happens in the novel scene that inspired this bit, and they do incorporate some of that into the show by having lwj commit petty larceny and admit that he “likes rabbits” as part of the softest and most loving conversation in human history oh my god

but lwj goes to sleep right on time, and the next morning, wwx is laughing and reassuring him that nothing happened.

after this, it’s time to go on a fucked up field trip with the kids in yi city, so they don’t really have any time alone for a few episodes until they’ve finished that and everyone is back at yet another inn. I wonder if they learned something about wasted chances and poor communication from this miserable songxiao story?

maybe! look, they’re being cute and domestic. there are currently no material barriers preventing them from having sex, nor will there be any specific evidence later on proving that they didn’t.

but they’re still firmly in mystery-solving mode and the juniors and lxc are floating around. the vibe isn’t quite there. if I were to pick the most solid reason why I think they’re saving room for jesus at this point, it would be the tension that happens when wwx again asks how lwj recognized him. lwj asks why his memory is so bad, and wwx replies that he wishes he had a bad memory. even though they’re comfortable and happy being together, there’s still some fundamental distance remaining. there’s no sense of romantic resolution. that was actually a point against all their previous opportunities as well; they’re all very sweet, but none of these feel like the place in a story where the romantic leads Officially Get Together.

okay, off to koi tower! shit is getting extremely real. everyone’s busy insinuating that they recognize wwx, but no one is saying it explicitly. wwx isn’t supposed to be here. the guy he’s pretending to be also isn’t supposed to be here. he and his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s brother are trying to figure out if his boyfriend’s brother’s boyfriend is a murderer. no one is comfortable and the political intrigue leaves no time for fucking in front of anyone’s salad.

I guess there’s plenty of time to make dozens of armed guards and like half the people they know wait while they have a romantic moment, though.

could they be more in love? And that sure feels like a romantic resolution that might be followed by narratively-earned sex.

ah. no, unfortunately wwx gets stabbed again. this certainly sucks, but it does have the helpful consequence of making lwj take him back to cloud recesses, where they are mostly alone and as safe as they can be in the circumstances. now there’s even more tenderness and also some plot-justified touching and skin exposure. plus, lwj just made a very public declaration of love.

too bad wwx has probably been unconscious since he started coughing up blood in the forest near lanling. he’s also still visibly in pain. fresh abdominal wounds tend to kill the mood.

but hey, the injuries on this show are only as serious as they need to be to move the plot forward and facilitate gentle h/c scenes, so by evening he’s looking perfectly healthy and walking around under his own steam like nothing’s wrong. I guess that problem can be ignored moving forward.

lxc then offers the the most devastating highlights of lwj’s backstory, like, all at once. it’s nice that he includes a flute solo to give wwx a second to process this mountain of terrible information. what the fuck.

there he is! the most devoted man in the whole world! turns out they can actually be more in love after all.

and then the following scene... look, I’m lazy and I don’t know how to make gifs, but screenshots cannot properly convey how good it is. you all know. the hesitant way wwx approaches, the slow and gentle piano version of wangxian, the two of them watching the snow together, it’s. ugh.

remember how I was talking about how the last scene with no material barriers was an unlikely candidate because of the lack of romantic resolution?

well, here’s wwx still being cagey at the beginning of this conversation.

and here they are in the middle of this conversation, having some epiphanies about the course of wwx’s life - I love this shot for a lot of reasons, but I extra love it because it shows wwx out in the snow, with lwj as the safety and warmth waiting behind him, god this show goes hard, holy shit

they both recall their vow to live with a clean conscience and internally say some very corny things about each other because they are both So Much, and then,

ah, what the hell. he can say it out loud after all. romantic resolution accomplished.

and then the camera slowly pulls away as wuji plays.

a slow zoom out? swelling music? listen, I am a connoisseur, I know a tasteful fade-to-black indicating a sex scene that won’t happen on camera when I see one. at last, we have a winner!

now you may think this post is finally over, but I actually have one more piece of evidence for you - the next scene shows the two of them the morning after, meditating behind a screen in the hanshi while lxc is waiting for jgy to show up.

before wwx got de-cored, he was a pretty powerful cultivator, right? the chances that he’s just bad at meditating or that he can’t stay focused on this task seem slim to me. so why does he keep falling asleep?

well. he had kind of a late night.

#yes I do have a lot of time on my hands #the untamed #cql #wangxian #meta #my meta

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hahahahahangst · 2 years

Text

We don’t talk about Bruno (Be The Young 1)

GIANT TW which will be valid for each episode for suicidal thoughts, self-h*rm, violence, cursing, relatives dying, mentions of s*x, s*xual assault

All chapter titles are song titles, some of them translated from Italian songs. We start from the first season and make out way through the series. I will break canon (mostly from the S2 finale) but will try to get back into it for the sake of ✨ lore ✨ .

Summary: Emily's life used to be normal. Until one day, her family died, leaving behind just one letter.

"After reading this whole letter, call John Winchester. [...] He’s your real father."

MASTERLIST

We don’t talk about Bruno Sam

Give the truth and the whole truth, Bruno.

23rd of October 2002:

When Emily was a kid, her mother sometimes called her “her miracle”. She had always thought it was warm, comforting.

Emily always planned on getting it tattooed once she graduated college. She imagined herself, in her doctor vest, talking with her patients about how cute the story behind her tattoo was. And as she grew up, she realized it was a bit of a silly image. You don’t usually talk about your private tattoos with your patients, she knew that, but she held the tattoo idea in her heart.

Someone knocked on her door. Emily lifted her eyes off her computer. She was drafting an acceptance letter to Stanford. “Hey mom!” She smiled as her mother opened the door.

“Are you busy honey? I made pizza for dinner.” The woman smiled.

Emily closed her book and stretched her arms out. “I’m starving actually!” She stood up.

When she arrived downstairs, Alex was in his crib, kicking and fisting the little toys that were dangling over his head. As Emily sat down, her mother served her some pizza.

All was well. It had always been.

Until it wasn’t.

Halloween, 2005.

Dean parked in front of the apartment complex. For the standard Emily had gotten used to in the previous two years, it was almost a decent place. At least it didn’t have any weird men waiting on the hooker they had booked. “Alright, wait me here, okay little bitch?” Said Dean. Emily scoffed. She would have never ever dreamt of helping Dean convince their prodigal brother to come hunting with them. She had met enough Winchesters as it was. There was no need for a third one.

In fact, she had been reluctant on the idea of even traveling to Stanford.

John and Dean had told her the story of Sam a couple of times through the years. Emily understood why he had chosen to leave: living with the Winchester was a pain in the ass. That was enough of a reason.

However, she felt a hint of jealousy. He had a choice. He was able to get out. Her only alternative to living with Dean and John was to go live in foster families or under a bridge.

When she first met him, John was incredibly upset about Sam’s departure. He barely spoke about him. Dean, instead, would speak about him. Possibly too much, but never getting into any emotional details.

“Sam would have know how to do that.”

“Don’t touch that, it’s Sam’s.”

“My god, you sound like Sam, stop it!”

Dean didn’t like chick flicks, he made it very clear from the very beginning.

So, who was Sam Winchester, based on how John and Dean had described him?

Sam Winchester was Dean Winchester’s brother. Three years prior, he decided to leave his family and the hunting life behind, to study law. He was two years older than Emily and lived in Stanford.

Emily looked at the building they were parked in front of and scoffed internally: she was supposed to leave there. She was supposed to be in Stanford medical school.

And instead, she was stuck in the back of John Winchester’s crap car.

Dean stared at the building for what felt like hours. Emily, annoyed, eventually stood out of the car to smoke a cigarette and started nervously clicking the hair tie she had on her wrist.

When Dean came back, a tall figure was next to him. Emily could only assume it was Sam: He had short, dark hair and was a few inches taller than Dean. He was not at all like she had imagined him. John didn’t have any recent pictures of him, which wasn’t surprising. The Winchesters sure weren’t the “make memories together” kind of family.

Sam had a different light in his eyes, compared to Dean. He didn’t look as cocky. He did, however, look pissed. Very much so.

When Sam opened the car door, he almost jumped back out of it, startled, alarmed by Emily’s presence.

“Get in the back.” Ordered Dean from behind his brother, cold. Emily looked at him, raising her eyebrows.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“But I was here first!” She complained. “Can’t he sit in the back?!”

“Wrong, he was here first.” He pointed to Sam. “You just fell into my lap and refused to leave.”

“I didn’t- You know what? Nevermind, I’ll just move in the back.” She climbed out of the car and almost bumped into Sam. “I’m sorry-” She said, sarcastically showing him the fakest smile possible before pulling the lever on the side of the car seat and folding it, hitting Dean’s back and promptly ignoring his complaints. “Stupid piece of crap car- Couldn’t get a normal, modern, five door, could you?”

Dean scowled at her as she settled in the back seat and ignored the taunt. Sam finally sat down.

“Dean, want to introduce me to your friend?” He asked, putting a weird emphasis on the last word.

Dean tried to answer, but Emily was quicker. “I know what you’re thinking, but no, I am not Dean’s last hookup.” She rolled her eyes and started rummaging through her bag.

“I’m your sister.” She exhaled. “Unfortunately, you’re stuck with me.”

“Wait.” Said Sam, taken aback. “Did you just say-”

“Sister? Yeah, you heard me right. Dad’s a slut.”

“Emily, come on.” Scolded Dean, starting the car. Then, he explained how she ended up with the Winchesters.

The same year Sam had left for college, Emily’s life had also changed irreparably. One night, while she was sleeping, a fire started in Alex’s room. Alex was her six month old brother. When she went to try and help him, she burned both her hands, which were permanently scarred. She was, however, able to bring her baby brother out of her nursery and into the street, just as the house began collapsing, eaten away by fire. She never saw her mother again.

Emily spent several weeks alone in the hospital, even after she was well herself, to stay with her brother, but he was soon gone too.

Too young to get a job, she crashed on people’s couches for a while, and just as she was about to run out of options, the police finally gave her access to her house back. Not that there was much left, but she was able to retrieve some clothes from her room and some money that had survived the fire by being in the family safe. Together with the money, Emily found a weird envelope with her name on it.

Emily, if you read this, I am very sorry about how things went down. You might think my death was an accident, but I want you to know it is not.

Just know that I have loved you and Alex my whole life, but I have made some bad decisions long before you were born and that has led us here.

I know life might be hard right now, but you have someone you can turn to.

After reading this whole letter, call John Winchester. You will find his number in the back, alongside the name of other people you can call if you can’t get a hold of him immediately.

He’s your real father.

You’ve always wondered about him, now it’s time to meet him and for you to know the truth about what I used to do before you were born. He will explain that way better than I can by letter.

He’s very dear to my heart and we shared a kind of bond I never found in anybody else.

He will take you and Alex with him. He promised long ago.

About Alex, please take care of him. He deserves better than the life that expects you, but he does not deserve to be bounced around families and structures all his life. Keep him safe.

Love,

mom.

Just for a brief moment, as she read John WInchester’s name, she thought she had another chance.

College, a normal life, everything back to how it was.

Sure, it was going to be hard, but she had never been the giving up type.

However, she soon realized her life was never going to be the same. That her hopes and dreams were long gone.

Her plan of becoming a surgeon, the career she had studied all her life for, became just a distant memory. She had little money, no more couches to crash on, just a name, John Winchester.

She reluctantly called him, asking herself what good could a stranger do.

John agreed on taking her in. However, he was far from being a dad. He more like a sergeant. John never talked about Emily’s mother or how they met, how it happened that they had a baby. Usually, whenever Emily brought it up, John would silence her.

That was how she ended up traveling with the Winchesters, who were supposed to be her family but behaved more like she was one of the monsters they were hunting.

Monsters.

That was a big thing her mother forgot to mention in the letter. Or ever, really.

What she did before Emily was born was hunt monsters. That was how she died. While she did not know precisely what and how, she was soon acquainted with the fact that whatever killed her mother, also killed Dean's mother, and that that something was a supernatural being.That, John Winchester was sure of.

She found out about the “family business” pretty much immediately after meeting John and Dean. It was hard to miss, it was all they talked about.

Sergeant John Winchester, as Emily called him between her and herself, had made sure she was safe for the first few weeks, and then announced she had to start training if she wanted to live with them. That was it. Not many alternatives.

Saying that he was having trouble adjusting was an euphemism: she was used to her mother hugging her on a daily basis, asking how school was. But with the Winchesters, she had found herself in a pit of distance and emotional unavailability. She found out that the description her mother had always given Emily when she asked about her real dad was exaggerated to say the least.

Emily’s mother had talked about a stern man that actually hid a lot of good.

If the good was still there, Emily was struggling to find it.

Emily saw clearly how neither Dean or John weren’t on board with having a third person around and that her father had let her stay just to honor the pact he made with her mom. The terms of this pact were not ever mentioned. It was one of the many things John Winchester did not speak about.

Despite all that, Emily’s relationship with John was overall peaceful. He let her be as long as she didn’t mess up or put them in danger, and she didn’t complain about how he spoke to her or how he ordered her around during hunts. After all, she thought, he was her father, even if he showed that in very uncommon manners.

Dean and Emily, on the other hand, were unable to keep from going at each other’s throat for more than a day at times.

He had always treated her distantly, barely speaking to her and not really giving her any chances of bonding. Emily tried. She tried several times. But it never really worked. He would dismiss her with a “none of your business.” or a joke about how it was “grown up stuff”. With time, most of the occasions they spoke, it was to fight. Whether they were real problems or small problems didn’t really matter. Regrettable words would be said and tv remotes would be thrown.

And John never bothered to calm them down.

He said they had to “learn to like each other”. So, it didn't matter if it was a hunt gone wrong or if they forgot something from the dinner order, the chances of them yelling at each other was very high.

Naturally, since John had left with no notice the previous week, their days were mostly silent. He had actually left the same night Emily and Dean had a fight which involved Dean calling his sister a “childish, bitter bitch” after she dared to remind him it did not matter how long they took to fight whatever killed their mothers, because they would both still be dead by then.

She was actually very grateful John had not heard that line.

Dean’s version of her story, however, was pretty much boiled down to “The thing that killed mom also killed her family”. Just as usual, Dean Winchester showed no regards towards her. Her story wasn’t worth telling to Sam.

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violettelueur · 4 years

Text

— JUJUTSU KAISEN EPISODE FIVE || CURSE WOMB MUST DIE II

↳ featuring : itadori yuji + fushiguro megumi + kugisaki nobara + gojo satoru + ryomen sukuna + zenin maki + inumaki toge + panda from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : swearing + violence + mention of blood + mention of organ + mention of death + EXTREME grammar issues

↳ form : story

↳ published : 24 february

↳ pronouns : she/her

↳ word count : 4.8k

↳ synopsis : within the jujutsu world, there were three famous clans to be aware of, the Kamo clan, Zenin clan and the Gojo clan. However, unknown to many sorcerers there was one last family that was known to be apart of the three, only for them to disappear after the golden era leading some to speculate that they had died in battle after the sealing of ryomen sukuna, but....

↳ previous episode : curse womb must die I

↳ next episode : after rain

↳ barista’s notes : back again with another episode of jujutsu kaisen everyone ╲ʕ·ᴥ·　╲ʔ and we have ended the detention centre arc and now will be moving on to the training arc! isn’t that crazy, you have finished episode five ʕ ᵒ ᴥ ᵒʔ i’m not really good with fight scenes, so if you care confused, don’t hesitant to ask me anything to clarify! WE ALSO FINALLY MEET THE SECOND-YEARS!

BEFORE READING, I NEED YOU TO BE AWARE OF THIS:

1. the whole story belongs to Gege Akutami and the credits go to them and them only

2. the spell curses used belong to Tite Kubo due to them being the ‘Kidos’ being used on the manga and anime ‘Bleach’ - but none is mentioned in this chapter

2.5 for the ‘cursed spells’/kidos (bleach) i will link this video here and tell you the time stamp to check out what i am intending to show - remember i add a few twist here and there by adding the katana to link with Y/N’s cursed technique

Destructive Curse Spell number four: Byakurai : 3:35-3:40

Sentan Hakuja : Wiki Page

‘Cursed Energy Web Technique’ : video (4:23-5:27)

3. if you are confused on anything, please don’t hesitate to message me since i know this whole thing is so confusing

“If you can, please send a grade one sorcerer or higher but that won’t be necessary if I don't die,” you sternly commented, leading both Fushiguro and Ijichi to shiver at the statement you just announced.

Still shaken at what you had just said, Ijichi sent himself off before closing the window to prevent any cold raindrops from coming at him as he drove away from the area you and Fushiguro were standing in right now.

“If you don’t want to listen to me, I ain’t going to listen to you at all then Fushiguro,” you stated with a frown painted on your face before looking back at the building behind his body.

Taking your katana, you looked at the bottom of the handle to find a metal loop at the bottom with a red charm tied before it was simply slowly unwinded by you as you prepared for the worst that was about to come.

“What are you doing L/N?” Fushiguro asked in a worried tone, causing you to turn to look at him with a deadpan expression.

“Just preparing for the worst Fushiguro”

ꕥ

The rain was still unsettled as you stared at the building of the detention centre that was in front of you with a nonchalant look present on your face. Carefully, you hook your katana on the side of your left hip rather than the usual spot of your back since you knew you were going to need extremely quick access to your weapon if your prediction of what was going to happen was going to become a reality.

Suddenly, there was a swift but noticeable change in the air causing you to grab Fushiguro’s sleeve to pull him closer to you in case of any attacks that would happen since he was standing behind you, out of your central view.

“The Innate Domain’s closed off, the special-grade is dead!” Fushiguro stated to you in a shocked but quiet tone, causing the grip you had on his sleeve to tighten since the feeling in the pit of your stomach was becoming agonising to the point where you wanted to vomit it out.

Yet, you weren’t fearful for yourself but rather the wellbeing of the shikigami user behind you and the classmate, who was still inside the building at this current moment in time.

“We just need Itadori to return safely now,” Fushiguro hopefully whispered, yet you had given no response since you knew that the chance of the mentioned classmate coming back with himself out rather than Sukuna was extremely low.

“That’s almost impossible, from what I can recall, him and Sukuna haven’t even agreed to a bi-” you began to explain, only for a sudden aggressive presence to stop you in your tracks to which Fushiguro also felt as you both froze on the stop you both were standing in right now.

“Sorry, but he’s not coming back”

A familiar voice from behind you spoke leading to both of you and Fushiguro to freeze on the stop before you came to the sense that what you had predicted was proven right. However, you didn’t foresee that he was coming straight to the both of you, even when he had threatened it clearly before Fushiguro dragged you away to search for Kugisaki.

“Don’t be so frightened, I’m in a good mood right now, let’s chat for a bit,” Sukuna calmly mentioned as he processed to make his appearance in front of you both since you refused to look in the opposite direction.

“This is what he gets for trying to use me without any kind of pact, feels like he’s having some trouble switching back,” Sukuna pronounced as he turned to the side.

‘To be honest, it was surprising for him to switch back after eating the finger without the pact’ you thought before letting out of Fushiguro’s sleeve once you was comfortable that he was out of harm's way, ‘besides that should be enough cursed energy for now,’ you internally spoke before taking a quick glance on the same area where you hand was as you processed to place the same hand on the handle of your katana.

“Still, though it’s only a matter of time,” Sukuna stated, as he gripped onto Itadori’s school jacket before unexpectantly ripping into shreds to showcase his muscular upper body, revealing the strange back marking he adorned on his chest.

“So, I thought about what I can do right now,” the King of Curses uttered before raising his hand to suddenly puncture a hole within the middle of his check, shocking both you and Fushiguro from his gruesome action as hints of blood started to pour from the corner of his lips.

‘Shit! I haven’t finished preparing,’ you pondered in a panic manner, as your hand was still on your weapon’s handle, transferring some of your cursed energy to your katana, making sure it had reached to the tip of the blade within the wooden casing for what you were planning to execute.

“Wh-what are you..” Fushiguro stuttered as he looked at the scene in complete horror, only for a massive pool of blood to pour in the middle between Sukuna’s legs before forcibly ripping out the most vital organ needed for Itadori to come back alive.

“I’m taking this brat hostage,” Sukuna declared, as he proudly and sadistically presented the heart he had taken out to you and Fushiguro, causing you to internally become repulsed at the scene since you still needed to concentrate shifting a tiny amount of cursed energy needed to your katana.

“Hostage?!” Fushiguro snarled as he shifted back slightly.

“Yeah, I can live without this, but that ain’t true for the brat,” Sukuna informed you and Fushiguro, as he then tossed the heart to the side like it was a piece of trash he needed to get rid of quickly.

“Switching out with me means he dies. Also, for good measure,” Sukuna mentioned before revealing a finger in his hand causing you to look at the cursed object he had just now swallowed with widened eyes.

‘I thought it wasn’t his finger that the special-grade curse consumed! Fuck!’

“With that, I'm free as a bird, you can be frightened now, I’ll kill you both for no particular reason,” Sukuna declared as he flexed his hand leading you to rapidly unleash your blade from its black wooden casing for the first time since the unfortunate day as you were now prepared to fight against the King of Curses.

“Our positions are reversed now,” Fushiguro muttered under his breath (to which you heard) before he determinedly looked at the curse right in front of him as he positioned himself in a fighting stance causing a wave of anxiety to consume you.

‘One of his divine dogs are already down, if he risks another shikigami, that possibly will also get destroyed in the process’

“You just don’t get it, he’s..Itadori’s coming back even if that means he’ll die, that’s just who he is,” Fushiguro determinedly stated while staring down at Sukuna.

“You give him too much credit, this guy’s just a little tougher and denser than other humans” Sukuna countered back with a smirk on his face before processing to wipe off the blood staining his lip with the back of his hand.

“Just a moment ago, he was scared out of his mind, on the verge of death and prattling on about his regrets and all that nonsense, I know for a fact he doesn’t have the guts to kill himself,” Sukuna taunted as he smiles smugly at both of you.

‘A special-grade has the ability to used Reserve Cursed Techniques, so it wouldn’t be hard for him to use it on his heart, I just need to slide down somewhere around his chest area to force him to do that’

Shifting your eyes to the side, you noticed Fushiguro’s hands were shaking leading you to internally sigh since you knew he was thinking the same idea as you, while probably debating the fact on how he could make Sukuna revive his heart before Itadori switches back as well as how he was going to battle against a special-grade.

“Should I make the first move then?” you rhetorically asked, before swiftly throwing your katana towards Sukuna like it was a spear, only for him to dough the weapon even at its immense speed.

“You think that was going to hit me?! Maybe you ain’t the fighting type as I suggested!” Sukuna roared in amusement, not noticing how you seemingly suddenly grabbed onto thin air (like you were holding onto a hanging support handle on a bus) before pulling your arm back in a fast motion, resulting in the attacking blade unexpectedly return back to you as quick as it was thrown, for it to then slash a massive slit on Sukuna’s cheek causing the curse to look at you in complete surprised before you swiftly moved forwards towards him, grabbing the handle of the travelling blade to attempt to slash down on your targeted area, only for Sukuna to dodge as quickly as he could.

‘Damn, but that should be fine for now’

However, before you could even attempt to get another chance of getting a slit around his check area, you heard incoming footsteps from your side leading you to deck down as you suddenly saw a leg swing above your head, indicating to you that Fushiguro had made a move to attack the cursed vessel, yet once again Sukuna managed to dodge against as well as the incoming punches that came along with Fushiguro’s attempts.

“Interesting, not only the girl managed to injure me but you use shikigami, but you’ll still come at me yourself?” Sukuna questioned, as he seemed amused at both of you and Fushiguro.

However, before he could mention another word there was a light pressure placed on his right shoulder causing him to turn back, only to find you in a lower stance with your index and middle finger to be pressed upon his shoulder blade.

“Destructive Curse Spell number four: Byakurai,” you chanted, before a high-density of cursed energy was discharged from the tip of your index finger to form a concentrated bolt of lighting leading it to pierce a noticeable hole on Sukuna’s shoulder surprising him as well as Fushiguro, since you angled it well away from him getting hit before you once again attempted to swing your katana down upon his back to execute your plan only for him to dodge it come again.

‘Fuck sake! You make it so easy to hit you the first time but when I want to slice you down, you suddenly dodge it!’

However, before you could use another cursed spell, a shikigami made its way to attack Sukuna leading you to discover it was Nue only for Sukuna to once again avoid the strike of its sharp talons before Fushiguro aims to get a hit at Sukuna, only for the King of Curses to block them with his arms. Yet you couldn’t help but internally smile the second you saw the wrist that you were holding onto earlier had made contact with Sukuan’s arms.

‘If plan A doesn’t work out, B will do just fine for now’

However, your hint of internal happiness quickly ended once you saw Fushiguro take a hit from Sukuna’s fist causing hints of blood to escape from his mouth leading you to quickly stand up straight as you rushed over to the scene. Yet, before you could even attempt to attack the curse again, you felt a presence underneath you causing your body to instinctively move again before a large snake appeared from the ground catching Sukuna within its mouth lifting him in the air as he was stunned with surprise at the fact of his sneak attack.

“Gang up on him!” Fushiguro yelled out to his shikigami, leading Nue’s wings to surround itself with purple lightning as it attempted to land a hit on Sukuna, only for him to duck at the right moment before it tried again, only for it to have the same result.

“Fushiguro, deactivate the snake now before it’s destroyed!” you screamed at your fighting partner. However, before he even got the message you suddenly saw fragments of what seemed to be the snake’s skin falling down in front of you before noticing Sukuna was already behind Fushiguro, tightly gripping onto the back of his dark blue sorcerer jacket.

“Hey, what did I just say? Let’s use the open space!” Sukuna shouted, before aggressively flinging Fushiguro up in the air before following the sorcerer himself, leaving you behind to witness his inhuman strength.

‘Shit, they’re going to get to the edge of the evacuation area!’

Reaching into the depths of your skirt pocket, you quickly pulled out a long, white cloth before letting it spin around you at a large radius as it slowly began to enclose the gaps that were making you visible to the world.

‘Sentan Hakuja,’ you internally chanted before the cloth coiled you complete before speedily teleporting you in front to what seemed to be like a construction site or an abandoning building, you weren’t quite sure. However, what you were sure of was that Fushiguro and Sukuna hadn’t noticed that you had arrived despite the vast entrance you had made from your cursed technique - but what you were most afraid of was the fact the Nue was gone, causing you to worry at the fact that now that shikigami was destroyed.

“What a waste of talent, but the girl back at that place, she knows how to use her technique extremely well,” Sukuna announced, causing Fushiguro to look at the King of Curses in both confusion as well as frustration at the fact he had mentioned you, worried if he was about to get killed, Sukuna would hunt you down next.

“Whatever, either way, that won’t be enough to fix this, you’re risking your life over stupid shit,” Sukuna stated as he pointed the hole on his chest. However, it seemed like you had enough of the conversation.

“Activate!” you yelled out before stabbing your katana to the ground, causing both males to turn around to finally notice you. However, it was too late for Sukuna to have the opportunity to counter what you were doing as he felt something restraining his arm’s movement before noticing what seemed to be a blue web-like strand attached to both his shoulders, yet when he turned to you, you seemed to be in the same situation but with one arm free.

“L/N!” Fushiguro yelled out in a panic before noticing that you were not at all afraid but rather calm despite the situation that you both were in now.

“What is this?” Sukuna questioned, as he observed the web-like structure you had created only for you to glance at him with a deadpan expression on your face.

“It’s just a simple web I created from pure cursed energy that is retaining the both of us right now,” you answered as you continued to peer at the confused King of Curses, who was trying to rip away from the strand-like he had with the shikigami snake, only to no avail as he struggled to move his whole upper body in general.

“How come? You didn’t touch me except for the cursed technique you used?!” Sukuna roared as he glared at you only for you to then let out a sigh of frustration.

‘It’s such a drag to explain…’

“I transferred some of my cursed energy to Fushiguro’s wrist as well as to my katana, so when they made contact with you, it allowed me to connect the strands of the web to those areas where you had been hit, also the protective spell I placed on the back of Itadori’s neck before we went in the detention centre was surprisingly still intact, allowing me to track you and the chain at the end of my katana to restain you further,” you thoroughly explained, before clicking your fingers causing the sudden but slow reveal of the long black chain (attached at the end of your handle - on the metal loop where the red charm was) that you had concealed with your cursed energy to appear surrounding you and Sukuna at a large radius while the extra length was tightly wrapped around his upper body.

“That was how I pulled my katana back at the beginning of the fight if that’s what you were also wondering,” you commented, leading Sukuna to look at you with a larger smirk than what you thought his reaction would have been.

“You possess such intellect, such skill, such power and such talent and yet you refuse to go against me with your full potential, are you mocking me?” Sukuna asked, before laughing causing you to look at him suspiciously, yet you couldn’t let that bother you at all, right now all you needed was for Itadori to switch back even if he was going to die.

“Even though I technically didn’t save you, Fushiguro did but I would like to give my answer I guess,” you commented before running your hands through your wet hair trying to push away the strands that were concealing your vision slightly.

“I should have exorcised you back then, in fact it’s my duty as part of the L/N Clan to, but I know you’re a good person at heart Itadori, I knew that since the day I saw you back at school and probably Fushiguro saw that as well when he decided to save you,” you explained with a smile, as you began to notice the markings gradually disappear from his face and body causing you to slowly deactivate the cursed energy web that was immobilising you and Itadori while the chain that was coiled around him slowly began to loosen its grip on him.

“It was for selfish and emotional reasons but that’s fine though,” Fushiguro stated as his posture relaxed once he noticed that you were slowly lowering your guard, “I’m not a hero, I’m a jujutsu sorcerer, so I’ve never once regretted saving you,” he then announced with a smile on his face.

Suddenly, itadori looked at you with a smile on his face before turning to look at Fushiguro, who was behind him. “I see, you really are smart, Fushiguro, Gojo, you’ve put more thought into this than I have,” Itadori mentioned with a smile, as he pushed his hair back, “I think your conviction’s a proper one, but I don’t think mine is wrong, either,”.

Suddenly, more blood started to drip down from his wound causing you to move forwards to make sure that Itadori didn’t fall down completely. “Oh, sorry, I’m almost done for, guess I won’t have to worry you guys, Kugisaki, or Gojo-sensei, live a long life,” Itadori faintly stated to you both before falling straight into your arms causing you to fall to your knees due to his heavyweight causing your skirt and high-knee socks to become soaked in the rain that already bathed your hair and face.

The rain only grew heavily as seconds went by, only reflecting on the disappointment and devastation that was coming from both you and Fushiguro, as you both stayed silent letting the rain consume you both for the time being.

Maybe after the rain, he might come back.

‘Please come back’

ꕥ

“So you had your suspicions?” you questioned your adopted father, as you leaned against the railing of the balcony, while he stood next to you leaning against the same railing.

“There was a special grade there, sending the first-years to rescue five who may or may not be alive is out of order, even if you are capable of exorcising it Y/N,” Gojo explained causing you to realise where this was going.

“So what you are saying is, since you indefinitely suspended Itadori’s execution, that got some higher-ups upset, leading us to go do that mission, in order for Itadori to be killed?” you suggested, leading Gojo to turn silent at your comment, leading you to get the answer you were expecting even if no words were exchanged.

“You’re strong though Y/N, you effortlessly fought like Sukuna was just a normal curse,” Gojo complimented you, only for you to give him no response since it was not a good time for you to be praised.

You failed at saving Itadori.

“As a special grade like your father, I need you to look out for Megumi and Nobara for a while, train them to the best of your abilities since we got an event coming up!” Gojo cheered, leading you to present him with a glare.

‘What a drag...I really can’t be bothered to be in an event’

“I’m going to check on the others Gojo-sensei, I’ll see you later,” you stated before standing on the feet as you than processed to walk away with your hand up, as a way to wave him ‘goodbye’.

“Call me dad for once Y/N~” Gojo shouted, leading you to groan in annoyance before making your way to the entrance, where you knew Fushiguro and Kugisaki were since Gojo did take you away from them when he found you sitting with them on the stone steps near the entrance of the school.

After some time, you finally managed to reach your destination as you found yourself standing at the top of the extra steps above your classmates, before noticing a few new faces further below, leading you to become perplexed since you weren’t expecting any other sorcerers to come by today - well...that’s what Gojo said.

“Don’t tell me the other student died as well?” the female sorcerer question, leading you to look in her direction in confusion since she seemed a little familiar to you for some reason.

‘Ah, she was the person I saw when I moved into the dorm, but she didn’t really see me’

“I’m right here,” you commented, leading to everyone that was in your view to look up at your direction to find you standing with your arms crossed before you steadily made your way down the steps as you processed to stand a step above between Fushiguro and Kugisaki, who were still seated on the same spot they were in when you had left them for a few minutes.

“You don’t even have a scratch on you,” the female sorcerer commented, as she noticed you didn’t have any patches or bandages like the other two first-years had once you observed you.

“She’s a strong sorcerer,” Fushiguro commented, leading you to kick his back before commenting that he was a strong sorcerer as well.

“Ah! Are you the special grade, Gojo was mentioning about?” the large Panda asked, causing you to give him a glance before answering, “I don’t believe I’m a special-grade sorcerer but if that what my drag ass of an adoptive dad ranked me, then I guess I am,”.

“Who are you guys?” you then asked since it seemed like they had already done their introductions for Kugisaki. Although, it seemed like your female classmate was in the same sort of confusion as you since she noted to you that she had no idea who the fellow sorcerers were.

“Our second-year upperclassmen,” Fushiguro nonchalantly answered before he continued by introducing them to you and Kugisaki.

“Zenin-senpai is the best of all the students at wielding cursed tools, that’s the Cursed Speech user, Inumaki-senpai, he can only speak in ingredients of onigiri and that’s panda senpai,” Fushiguro introduced everyone causing some questions to manifest in your head.

‘Zenin ha?..she doesn’t seem like the one that my mum was talking about, so I don’t have to suspect her but is there anything else to add for Panda-senpai?’

“There’s one more, Okkotsu-senpai, who is the only one I can openly respect, but he’s overseas right now,” Fushiguro added, before slowly standing on his two feet.

“You’re not adding more about the panda named Panda?” Kugisaki asked as she looked up at the shikigami user to gain some information, only to be ignored.

“Man, sorry about this and when you’re in mourning...please forgive us for that,” Panda apologised before placing his hands together as a sign to be forgiven, even though that sign reminded you about something else.

‘Ah...that’s the same hand gesture for one of my cursed spells’

“The truth is, we’d like you to participate in the Kyoto Sister School Exchange Event,” Panda explained, causing you to recall about an ‘event’ Gojo had mentioned to you.

“Oh, that’s what he meant,” you whispered before Kugisaki interrupted you by repeating the event’s name in confusion.

“What’s that?” Kugisaki asked as she turned to Fushiguro looking for the answer.

“It’s a get-together with the other Tech school in Kyoto, though isn’t that event mainly second and third-years?” the erratic-haired sorcerer answered your classmate before questioning the invitation since all of you were first-years.

“And those stupid third-years are suspended right now, so you need to participate,” Zenin explained, causing you to look to the side with an annoyed expression on your face since you realised that this meant you had to cover up your tracks more than you were bothered to do.

“What do you do at this event? Smash Bros? I won’t lose if it’s the Wii version, I’ll Meteor Smash so you can’t come back” Kugisaki randomly mentioned with a determined look on her face as she formed a fist, causing you to look in her direction with a confused face since you didn’t know how she came to that conclusion in the first place.

“Then let’s make a 3-man team, the exchange event has the principals of the Tokyo and Kyoto schools each propose a form of competition to be held for an entire day over the course of two days, though that’s how it is on paper,” Panda informed you and Kugasaki, who were oblivious to what this event was in general.

“Every year, the first day is a team battle, and the second day is individual battles,” Panda explained, leading Inumaki to agree with him by saying ‘salmon’ as his confirmation to his classmates' explanation.

“Individual and team battles? We fight?! Against other jujutsu sorcerers?!” Kugisaki shouted after realising what the event really entailed, causing you to look at her before lightly smacking the back of her head.

“You just realised that?” you asked in a dumbfounded tone.

“Yeah, it’s a jujutsu battle where anything but killing goes,” Zenin confirmed with a huge grin causing you internal sigh at the fact that you had to hide the use of your cursed technique since that would blow your cover entirely.

“We’ll train you up well so you won’t get killed. Yeah, yeah, yeah!” Panda declared before he started to throw some air punched after every ‘yeah’ he said.

“Wait, do you have time for that? I thought we were short on jujutsu sorcerers,” Kugisaki asked since she concluded that there were only six of you right now.

“That’s a good question, For now, we are. The glim emotions people harbour from late winter through spring cause an outburst of curses in the early summer, so that’s our busy season,” Panda explained as Zenin then explained that some sorcerers are busy all year long, but since things are settling down soon, it should be fine.

“So, you’ll do it, right? You just had a partner die on you, after all,” Zenin asked, as she was waiting for all your responses.

“We’re in!” Fushiguro and Kugisaki simultaneously answered with determined looks on their faces before turning back to look at you, waiting for your answer.

Letting out a sigh of frustration, you knew that you had no way out of this since they looked so motivated for you to join, even if you disagreed with them.

“This is such a drag, but fine, I’ll join in too,” you replied with a small smile on your face leading them to nod at you before turning back to your seniors.

“But if I decided this training and exchange event is pointless, I’m quitting instantly,” Kugisaki mentioned.

“Same here,” Fushiguro commented, causing you to kick both of them on the back much to their surprise.

“So you drags make me do this event, only for you to dip when it’s pointless for you, besides I heard there are some interesting sorcerers in the Kyoto side, so prepare yourselves,” you stated before stepping down the few steps you were in front of before standing between them.

“Well, people this cocky are all more worthwhile to train,” Panda mentioned with his arms folded with a determined look on his face.

“Bonito flakes,” Inumaki said in a softer tone.

Looking up to the sky, you couldn’t help but brisk in the sunlight that was shining lightly down upon you, leading you to raise your hand over your face in order to not be blinded.

‘I wonder how I’m going to hide from this one now?’

828 notes · View notes

eyoricka · 4 years

Text

Fight - Pete Davidson

Requested: yes

Words: 2300

Trigger warnings: some curse words

Pete was not his regular self this past few days. The BPD was hitting hard probably because of stress. He was under pressure for his new special and his whole mental state was affected. You did everything you could to make him feel better, but it was tough. He booked more therapy sessions but on a short run it was not enough. You encouraged him to watch some movies he likes to relax, to express himself creatively and to do some exercises with you however it created more tension than everything. Small things were triggering some Pete’s negative reactions, it was very hard to keep up. You wanted to be there for him, showed that you cared. Sometimes it was just nearly impossible and that worried you. You were kind of used to those situations but this time it was a longer, rougher episode and it began to play with your own mental state.

You were in the kitchen baking some peanut butter brownie for the dessert when Pete entered in the room. He seemed tensed but smiled at you lazily. He approached you and kissed your temple while looking at what you were cooking. He frowned a bit but said nothing. You were surprised by this reaction, he usually loved this treat.

“You don’t like it anymore?”, you asked still taken aback. He rolled his eyes but remained silence which upset you. “You can use your words to answer, you know.”

“I am just wondering if you really know me and want the best for me” he replied growing annoyed.

“You what??!! Where does that come from?!!”

“You know I have Crohn and you know it can be worsened by nuts” he placed a huge emphasis on the you know. “But still you are baking this” he glanced at the brownie meanly, rose his hand towards it and for a second you thought he might throw it in the trash or on the floor. Instead, he put his hand on his face and sighed: “I really wondered why I still get home to be welcomed like that.”

Those words stung you, hard. You had taken of your time to bake this, it was just a small attention and you didn’t expect this reaction. You bit your lips refraining yourself to reply harshly, deep down believing that he didn’t think that, didn’t actually mean that.

“Well, I think you are stressed and angry and maybe you should go relax and we can discuss that later.” You kindly reply, putting a smile on your face.

“Now actually we should discuss that now, you are the one who says that when there is a problem, we have to discuss it, let’s do that.”

“Yeah, but when you are calm, ready to talk without your feelings interfering and risking saying things you don’t mean.”

“I am calm and ready to talk” he insisted visibly growing upset. You nodded and sighed frustratedly. There was no point arguing and you didn’t want to deal with him being angry for such a flutily, so you let him speak. You weren’t really listening carefully to what he was saying considering that he just needed to let some stuffs out because he was stressed. You were sure that he would apologize as soon as his crisis would be over so there was no point in taking to heartedly what he was saying. You didn’t want to ignore him, but it was easier that way, else you would probably be hurt by some words he pronounced without thinking. “Are you even listening to me?!!” he snapped at you while you were lost in your own thoughts. You winced trying to find a way to explain why you were not very into what he was saying without upsetting him even more.

“I…No I don’t really listen. But look Pete you are annoyed and half of the things you are saying, you will regret them later so…”

“You must be fucking kidding me!!! How can you know that I will regret them if you don’t even listen to them! You know what it proves, it proves that you don’t care about how I feel or why, that you don’t give a fuck about me!!”

“No, it is not like that!” you exclaimed trying to make your point.

“Stop trying to make yourself look like the nice guy while I am the bad one!!! Fuck… I can believe you, from all the people I thought I could trust you!”

“But you can” you pleaded.

“No!! Visibly I can’t but I should not be surprise you can’t even seem to remember or care about what I can eat or no so I guess listening to my feelings is too much to ask!!” You opened your mouth to reply to that but he continued: “Maybe if it is too much you should leave, you would probably be happier without me, without pretending you love me, care about me. And I would also be happier, I would finally find someone for me!!” he yelled certainly not even knowing what he was saying, the stress, the anger he was feeling for days were taking the best of him.

Even if you knew that, you still never expected such words. You were astonished to say the least. You couldn’t even answer to that, you were still processing those hurtful words. After few seconds at looking silently at each other, it hit you, what he just said, what he meant. It took every ounce of courage you had to not cry in front of him and simply nod, leave the room silently. You went to your share bedroom and grabbed a bag, put some clothes in it with your toiletry bag. You sent a quick text to a friend of yours asking her to sleep at her place for the night and she accepted without questioning you further. When you crossed the living room to leave the place, you saw that Pete was still standing there, looking at the window. He was back at you. “I will come back in few days to get back the rest of my stuff” you stated, and he didn’t turn around. You put everything in the car and drove to your friend’s place.

When Pete heard the sound of your car driving way, he realized. He realized what he had just say, what it implied, how badly he had screwed up. He wanted to run to you but it was too late, you were gone and he didn’t even know where, he haven’t even seen your face one last time. This broke him and tears streamed down his face. What an idiot. You were right. Of course it wasn’t the moment to talk, of course the anxiety he was feeling was taking the best of him, of course you had nothing to do with all of this. He had been so unfair to you, during all your relationship you had cared, you had listened to him, you had made your best to make him feel better, good, you always had been careful about his feeling, you had been supportive of his decisions and involved in everything he had tried to do. He never thanked you, not really and the only time you were not listening because you were sure that he was not thinking straight, he had been an asshole. He wanted to make it up, he needed to apologize, he wanted to fix things, but he ignored where to start. He was crushed by the idea that it was definitely over, that he would never see you smile at him, wear his shirt, cook for him, play video games with him, falling asleep in his arms while watching movies… All those precious, treasured moments you shared would vanish and he would never be able to relive them.

He tried to recompose himself and called you, but he never reached anything else than your voicemail. The sole sound of your voice humming asking to leave a message was enough to make him sob again. He fell asleep that night crying while you did the same some miles away. Those few miles felt like the abyss between you, an abyss that none of you would be able to cross that night to join the other.

When you woke up the following morning, you had a lump in your throat, you felt sick. Your friends had made you a delicious breakfast to cheer you up and you smiled kindly at her. She didn’t pry in your intimacy last night, she did what she could to make you happier, gave you space and let you sleep while insisting that she was there in case you needed. You were so grateful to have her. As you were eating, you received a text from Pete, you were not sure if you wanted to open it or not, if you were brave enough to read it but you couldn’t avoid it. You would have to read it at some point so there was no need to put it to another moment. You were a bit shook by his words, expecting a breakup text, a date to pick up your remaining stuff. You couldn’t help but smile a bit at your screen: “I am so dumb, I am surely the dumbest dude in all New York, and I am sorry, I can’t apologize enough for my behavior. But please give me one last chance to talk to you, if you don’t want to see me after that I can understand but I want to apologize to you in person, you deserve it, you are amazing and that is the least I could do after all the hurt I caused.” You texted back a brief ok, thanked again your friend and drove back to your place. Your fingers were drumming nervously against the steering wheel.

To your surprise the front door wasn’t locked and then you remembered that you had left in such a rush that you hadn’t even taken the keys. As you took off your shoes, you heard Pete made his way to the entrance and you took a seconds or two to look at him. Judging by the enormous bag under in eyes you guessed he hadn’t had much sleep last night, his eyes were glossy giving you a clue on how he spent the night crying. He looked miserable and you presume that you looked the same. He approached you slowly like he was scared that you would reject him. When he realized that you were not angry at him but rather hurt, he internally felt like dying. He had always sworn to make you happy, laugh, to protect you and in the end, he was the precise reason you were pained. He rose his hand to help you to take your coat off and you noticed that his hand was shaking.

“I am that intimidating?” you humored him, and he smiled sadly at you. You then proceed to follow him in the living room, as you sat on the couch, he paced around the room. Your eyes followed him closely as he was moving, chewing on his lips, and playing with his sweatshirt. He eventually locked his eyes with yours and decided to sit down in the armchair in front of you.

“I am sorry, I fucked up immensely, I don’t even have words to tell you how sorry I am. What I did, what I told you, it was unspeakable, ignominious, and if you can’t forgive now or never, I would get it but sincerely I am sorry. I can even begin describe how much I feel like the worse for making you feel like this, to have accused you of things you never did. You always had been there for me, always, even in the harder moments, you had always tried to make me feel better when I am low, you spent hours listening to me and my struggles and the only thing I do is to tell you that you don’t do enough. Fuck, I am so stupid. I should have listened to you. I know apologize are not enough, I realize how badly I hurt you, how from the start I was an ass. You baked me something I like and because I am feeling bad, I take all my anger at you, this is fucked up I am sorry. My mental health is not an excuse for what I did to you, to treat you like this it was awful of me. I felt anxious and attacked at work, so I attack you and this behavior, my behavior it can not lead us anywhere except to our downfall. You don’t have to forgive, you don’t have to say anything, I would get it you know, I am just sorry.”

You brushed away a tear on your cheek, you felt like crying and you couldn’t pinpoint why. Maybe because you were really hurt, or because this apology seemed so sincere or simply because you couldn’t stand to see him like this considering that he had realized how cruel he had been. You stood up and took his hands in yours, enjoying their warmth. You let him engulf you in his arms, intoxicated by his scent while he buried his head in the crook of your neck.

“What you said yesterday, it stung me hard, but I am willing to forgive you, Pete. But I don’t want to relive that again, not in few days, not in months, not in years. I want this to make us stronger, we can use this to advance, to be better, okay?” you whispered as you pressed your head against his chest. You felt him tighten his grip on you as he murmured back “okay”.

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