#WhatsApp call without saving

[balu88r-blog]

WhatsApp Tips : ನಂಬರ್ ಸೇವ್ ಮಾಡದೆಯೇ ವಾಟ್ಸ್​ಆ್ಯಪ್​ನಲ್ಲಿ ಕಾಲ್ ಮಾಡುವುದು ಹೇಗೆ? ಇಲ್ಲಿದೆ ಸುಲಭ ಟ್ರಿಕ್..!

WhatsApp Tips – ನಿಮ್ಮ ಫೋನ್ ಬುಕ್‌ನಲ್ಲಿ ಅನಗತ್ಯ ಸಂಖ್ಯೆಗಳು ತುಂಬಿ ಹೋಗಿವೆಯೇ? ಪ್ರತೀ ಸಣ್ಣ ಕಾರಣಕ್ಕೂ ನಂಬರ್ ಸೇವ್ ಮಾಡುವುದು ಬೋರ್ ಆಗಿದೆಯೇ? ಹಾಗಿದ್ರೆ, ಈ ಸರಳ ವಾಟ್ಸ್​ಆ್ಯಪ್​ ಟ್ರಿಕ್ ನಿಮಗಾಗಿ! ಇನ್ನು ಮುಂದೆ ಯಾವುದೇ ಸಂಖ್ಯೆ ಸೇವ್ ಮಾಡದೆಯೇ ನೇರವಾಗಿ ವಾಟ್ಸ್​ಆ್ಯಪ್​ನಲ್ಲಿ ಕರೆ ಮಾಡಬಹುದು ಅಥವಾ ಚಾಟ್ ಮಾಡಬಹುದು. ವಾಟ್ಸ್​ಆ್ಯಪ್​ ಈಗ ಬರೀ ಮೆಸೇಜ್ ಆ್ಯಪ್ ಅಲ್ಲ. ವೀಡಿಯೊ ಕರೆಗಳು, ಧ್ವನಿ ಕರೆಗಳು, ಫೋಟೋ ಮತ್ತು ಡಾಕ್ಯುಮೆಂಟ್ ಹಂಚಿಕೆಗೂ ಇದು ಅತ್ಯಂತ ಜನಪ್ರಿಯ ವೇದಿಕೆ.…

[zhalar]

explodeds. myself

[gguk-n]

Max Unravelled

Unravelling Max's Mystery (Max Verstappen x Online Friend!Reader)

Series Masterlist

Summary- Max accidentally made an account on google plus in 2013. He came across a poetry page and enjoyed reading them. He ends up friends with the poet. He loved the normalcy she brought to his life. He didn't realise when the comfort he felt for her turned into love.

{Max's POV}

2013

I was searching for something on my gmail account when a pop up for google plus came through; without much thought I clicked on it. Some how, I'm yet to figure that out, I ended up with a google plus account. One of the few accounts I got recommended was a poetry and story account. They wrote very eloquently; I could feel the emotions in every word. I started reading all their posts in my spare time and even commenting on the ones I liked. I found my self constantly checking back to their page to see if they posted something. Their poetry was relatable and understandable. I hope they always have a good day since their words always pick me up when I'm down.

The poet I had been enjoying so much is a girl, and her name is Y/N. She's around my age; I guess that's why I related to her work so much. We spoke for the first time ever on her birthday. She made a post about it being her birthday so I wished her. She was sad about not being able to enjoy her birthday, I felt bad for her so we talked for a while until dad called me to practise. That was the start of our friendship. We ended up talking on google plus a lot. We shared the same sense of humour and best of all, she didn't know about racing. It was like a breath of fresh air to not talk about racing. She doesn't even seem interested in it; so I can live as Max for a while now.

My birthday was shit but talking to her made everything better. I can't believe I got excited about talking to someone and that someone made me feel good even on one of my shittiest days. She's one of the nicest people I've had the pleasure of talking to. I really do wanna talk to her on phone, typing everything I want to say out feels tedious.

2014

I've gotten busier since this year with Formula 3. We barely get to talk anymore. She did send me her number and we chat on Whatsapp whenever we can. But obviously it is not the same. I've suggested talking on call a few time and she finally agreed; I just need to find the perfect time to get away from everything to talk to her. I felt so nervous to talk to her for some reason, what if she thought I was weird and didn't enjoy talking to me? What if she heard me and decided I wasn't fun? What if we had nothing to talk about? I called her while sitting in my driver's room, she picked up quite quickly after 2 rings to be exact.

Max- Hi, Y/N! Y/N- Hey, Max!! How are you? Max- I'm good, what about you? Y/N- Yeah, I'm good too. haha!! This is so weird talking to you. Max- yeah, you sound pretty. Why would I say that? That sounds so fucking creepy, I face palmed myself so hard. Y/N- You sound nice too. I mean....you have a nice voice. Max- haha, thanks, this is the first time some one has said that. She thinks I have a nice voice, do I? Y/N- soooo, what have you been up too?? You've been so busy lately. I could hear people outside the driver's room. I quickly locked the door before answering her question. Max- yeah, I've been busy with stuff. I'll be done soon for a while now. Y/N- That's great I need my best friend back! Did she just call me her best friend? I've never had a best friend before.

We ended up talking on calls a lot more. I would have her contact ringer saved with a separate ringtone so that I would know to answer it. She usually called at reasonable times, where ever I travelled as if she knew my schedule.

2015

I got signed with RedBull Racing's junior team, making me the youngest driver. It was such a surreal feeling. But this also meant I couldn't talk to Y/N as much as I wished I could. Training and the races kept me very busy. But she was very understanding and would always welcome me back, no matter how long I was gone for.

2021

The first time I'm regretting not telling what I do to Y/N was today when I won my first World Championship. I was surrounded by my team, my girlfriend and my family as I got out of the car after I finished P1 at Abu Dhabi but it felt strange; like I was missing someone. I wish I could share this win, the biggest in my life yet, with the person who makes me feel so special yet so myself.

When I asked her about Formula One, she didn't know about, she didn't even know the prominent figures. So, I wasn't as worried about her finding out but I did worry now; since my win was controversial according to the media. However, she never asked. Was she really unaware or playing dumb? I wasn't sure if I should be grateful I get to be just Max or sad that I can't share a huge part of my life with my best friend.

2023

Y/N and I have been friends for the past 10 years. Time really flies. I've gotten a lot better at balancing my personal and work life. Y/N is my well kept secret; like I'm the only one who knows her. She moved out for college and we've only video called since. She is still funny and still writes. I think it's so cool of her to stay passionate about what she loves and keeping at it. She loves my cats more than I love them sometimes, she get's so excited when I send pictures of them. She says they cheer her up and that Jimmy and Sassy are her virtual pets. They loved her too honestly, they would always recognise when she was on call and jump into my lap or the phone to see or hear her. She still doesn't know what I did for a living; we've kept that a 'secret' you could say. But really I just didn't know how to tell her I was a Formula One driver and a 2 time World Champion.

Today was like any other day, I hadn't spoken to Y/N at all. Whenever I called her, I would usually close/lock the door depending on who was at home. My girlfriend didn't know about Y/N. I didn't even know how to bring it up, honestly. I sat down on my SimRacing chair after I switched the livestream off. Her phone rang for a few times and then stopped ringing but she didn't answer the call. I tried again thinking maybe she was busy or didn't hear it. I called a couple times before texting her; no reply. I was freaking out. This was the first time in 10 years that she hasn't answered my calls. She won't even reply to my messages. I found myself pacing around the house. The door to the room opened to my girlfriend's daughter standing in front of me, "Maxie, why are you walking in circles?" She asked after observing me for sometime. "It's nothing" I said, trying to calm myself down more than give a reply to her question. All these horrible thoughts swirled through my mind; what if she was in an accident and no one knows? What if she got robbed? What if she hurt herself and can't get help? What was I supposed to do? I didn't even know where she lived. I just couldn't think straight. My hair was a mess with how much I was running my fingers through it, a few stands coming along when I almost pulled them out of frustration.

After 7 hours, she replied to my text. I had almost given up hope, but she said that she was fine and that her phone was about to die. I felt relieved knowing that she was ok. But the text was so out of character for her. I texted her everyday after that in hope of talking to her. We always spoke everyday and it had been years since we didn't speak for so long. Almost every text was left on delivered. I had a race this weekend which I won and went out to celebrate with everyone because they wanted me to tag along. I didn't see the text Y/N sent me a while after the race since I was at the club. I only saw it when I got home. As soon as I saw it, I called her. She answered after a few rings.

Max- Schat, how have you been? Haven't heard a word from you in days. You could clearly hear the worry in my voice. Y/N- I've been busy, school year ending and stuff. Why didn't you sleep yet? Max- You know my sleep schedule is non existent. Y/N- Yeah, I guess I do. What did she mean by that? Her voice seemed hoarse, was she sick?Y/N- You know how I do freelance editing Max- You've told me about it Y/N- The latest author I'm working with is a sports author. I was hoping you could help me since you are a walking encycylopedia. Max- sure schat, but what's up with you? You know I'm always there for you Y/N- Yeah it nothing, just stressed. Max- Take off, you deserve it I wish she took care of herself instead of working so hard without breaks. Y/N- The summer break is here soon, I'll be fine. So about that author... Max-Yeah, what sport does she write for? Y/N- Formula One. I don't really like reading lengthy articles and I'm sure one article wouldn't do a sport any justice. I felt the ground slip from under my feet. My palms had gotten sweaty suddenly. Max- You did not go through google yet, right? (I stammered out) Y/N- Oh no, what do you take me for? I got excited to learn about something new. Do you know who the reigning champion is? I felt like I was about to lose everything. I didn't know what to say, my mouth was dry. No matter what I said, I don't think I could fix this situation. Y/N- Some dude named Max Verstappen. You guys share the same first name. He has 2 cats too; named Jimmy and Sassy, who look exactly like your bengals. I mean he even looks like you, with horrible sleep schedule just like you. He even sounds like you. There was horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and my lungs felt like there was no air in them. Watching her tear up was the worst feeling.

Max- Schatje, I can explain. Y/N- You don't have to Max. I never asked you what you did. You don't have to explain anything. Max- I wanted to tell you, it just never came up in conversation. Y/N- I get it, it's difficult to tell your friend who has amounted to nothing that you are the World Driver's Champion, best of the best in Formula One. Max- Y/N, it's nothing like that. You're great, you're kind, you're funny. She laughed, but that stung my heart for the first time when her laugh was my favourite sound in the world. Y/N- Those are character traits I possess, they don't describe my career goals or achievements. I know I work 2 jobs to stay afloat while you make millions, I know I wish I was an author and not their editor, I know you probably thought I was too stupid to understand your rich and fancy world. Max- No, no, you're so talented. I've read your work and I'm sure the right publication will pick your work up. Y/N- I got rejected for the sixth time today. All of this is fine except that you lied to me about being single while having a girlfriend for years and having the happy family you dreamt off. You didn't have to introduce me to her; not like my boyfriends met you. But it would've been nice if I knew. Max- It just never came up. (I held my head in shame) Y/N- I...we joked about setting you up with someone all the time. Please don't. I get it, we didn't tell each other about work goals or what we did as a job but personal life; I literally told you about every guy I've ever been with. I felt bad telling you thinking you were single. I feel stupid right now. I wanted to reach out and wipe her tears but I couldn't. Max- I'm sorry,Y/N. I promise I won't hide anything anymore. Please, don't cry. Y/N- My name is Y/N Y/L/N. I majored in literature in Uni and now work as a primary school teacher and freelance editor. I'm trying to get my book published soon. I broke up with my boyfriend 2 months ago. This fucking hurt, everything she said and the way she said it. Max- Please don't do this. Y/N- I believe at least one of us should be honest. Max- Let me fix this. Y/N- Don't worry. There's nothing to fix. Max- Please don't say that. You mean a lot me. (I felt tears in my eyes.) Y/N- Me too. That's why, I need time. I'll talk to you when I'm ready. Max- Please, I can't lose you. I felt like my world was crashing. Y/N- You won't. I'll always be there for you. I just need time. Take care Max I was crying as she said it. Max- Bye, take care Y/N. I'll always be here. And the screen blacked out, I could see my reflection on the screen, tears streaming down my face.

After I was able to clear my head I texted her telling her that I would always be there for her and I would like to clear up the misunderstanding when she's ready. I spent the next few months thinking about her. It was starting to affect my relationship. I couldn't really give my girlfriend time when my mind was occupied with thoughts of Y/N. When my girlfriend brought it up how we were growing apart; I had a fight with her. I don't know what came over me, but not talking to Y/N or not knowing what was up with her was making it very difficult for me to focus on anything. The fighting became a constant after that. I didn't understand why she couldn't let me be. I missed my friend but she wouldn't get it.

I was SimRacing when Y/N's name popped up on my phone asking me to call her. I guess she was ready to talk it out. I really wished that this wasn't the end of our friendship. I really hoped that we could get over the misunderstanding and still be friends. I told the team I had some work and called her immediately. She answered like always; I waited for her to speak with baited breath. She started talking and we cleared everything up. I apologised for hiding the truth from her. I told her how much of a constant she was for me in my ever hectic life; how talking to her made everything better. She listened to me, I listened to her and then finally asked her to come to my home race. I wanted to meet her. I couldn't live knowing that I had the resources but didn't meet the one person that mattered to me the most. She was hesitant at first but I offered to get her the tickets and insisted on her joining me at the biggest race of the season for me and finally she agreed. I was over the moon. As soon as we ended the call, I sent her the tickets. I found myself counting down the days to the race for the first time.

I was waiting for her at the airport when she got here. My heart was beating very fast as I waited for her to come out. When I saw her; she was beautiful, shorter than I expected but she looked cute with her bag in one hand and a back pack on her shoulder, her hair in a low bun, a small smile graced her feature. I don't think I've noticed anyone with such detail ever before. Our conversation flowed easily. It didn't feel like it was the first time we were meeting. I dropped her at the hotel and went off to do media duty's at the paddock when I came back she was still asleep, traveling must've tired her out. She got dressed while I waited for her to get ready, even giving my 2 cents on what she should wear. She looked gorgeous, I couldn't help myself, staring at her. The black satin dress hugged her curves in all the right places. Her hair flowed down her back, the jewellery sparkling against her body. We went to have dinner at a fancy dutch restaurant. She loved the food especially the apple tart. The moan she let out as she devoured the dessert made blood rush downwards. I found my cheeks heating up, thankfully the whole place was dimly lit. We walked around for a while after the meal, she made fun of my name but I couldn't care less. I apologised and she accepted it and hugged me. Her arms were soft and the embrace warm. I found myself wrapping my arms around her, my face buried in her neck. I was scared I was gonna lose her, forever. I've never been scared to lose anything but a race until now and the thought of not having her in my life seemed scary. She consoled me and we headed back to the hotel.

The rest of the weekend was uneventful except for my girlfriend being pissed; she fought with about Y/N. I don't get what her problem is, she's just a friend I've known since forever. I'm just showing her around. I was giving interviews when I saw her talking to Lando, I saw them laughing along in the corner of my eye. It made me feel strange, there was this feeling in the pit of my stomach and I didn't like it. When I got back, Lando had left since it was his turn. She found Lando cute and it irked me, I was annoyed hearing her ask me to set her up with him. We got back to RedBull hospitality when my girlfriend asked me to talk to her, I left with her reluctantly leaving Y/N with Checo.

"Listen Max, I get it, she's your childhood friend and all, but it's so weird how she suddenly cropped up when I or for that matter any one knew nothing about her. People are saying stuff about us since she stepped on the paddock and the way you are dragging her along." my girlfriend spoke. "What are people saying? I will not stand any slander against her" I cut her off. She laughed dryly. "WOW, they are saying stuff about us, Max, us, that you are cheating on me with her. You've been so distant for months until a month ago, I didn't know what went wrong and you wouldn't talk either." she said running a hand through her hair. "It's nothing really. She just knows me as Max and not Max Verstappen and that's why I'm closer to her. Nothing more." I said. "It's pointless talking to you" she said turning around. "If we're done, I'm leaving, Y/N doesn't know anyone here except me." I said leaving for the door. She huffed before she followed me out. Y/N looked worried about what was going on between me and my girlfriend but I calmed her down and we spent the day together. She tagged along during quali too. I saw her praying before quali, it made my heart swell. I was starting pole and we spent the night watching a movie even though Y/N wanted me to rest before the race, I wanted to make the most of the little time we had.

Y/N hugged me before the race wishing me. I wanted to win so bad, I'd won here twice before but this was different. I wanted to win in front of her. I raced like a mad man and then I heard it. I crossed first and my happiness knew no bounds; knowing she was watching. I got out of the car and immediately ran to her; hugging her. It was cathartic. Y/N said my girlfriend looked annoyed, but I couldn't care less. I watched my girlfriend leave, annoyed. When I received the trophy at the top step of the podium knowing she was watching me from below made it so much more worth it. Y/N wanted to go out to celebrate my win and I wasn't one to say no. I went back to the hotel to get cleaned up and ready for the night.

I was greeted by my girlfriend in the room, it was dimly lit as she was sat at the corner of the bed with tears streaming down her face. "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT MAX?" she screamed at me. "Am I a fucking joke? I let it slide, you said you were friends but the first person you go to after winning your race was her, what do you think people were whispering when you did that?" she said in between sobs. I didn't get what she was saying. "Do you like her?" she asked. "What? We're friends" I stated. She shook her head, "No, Max, you aren't. The way she looks at you is how I look at you. The way you look at her" She cried, "You've never looked at me like that" she lamented. "It's nothing like that" I began. "You should've respected me at the very least and broken up with me if you liked someone else, I'm not gonna be some girl's place holder till you can have her." she cried out. "You're not a place holder for her" I said. "Feels exactly like that" she said wiping her tears. I felt nothing my 2 year long relationship might be ending and I didn't care. I didn't even try to correct her, did I really like her? Was Y/N really more important to me? "We're through Verstappen, if you can't even fight for us, I'm not about to fight for us" she sighed dejected. I walked towards the bathroom to wash up while she packed up to leave. When I got out she was gone. I went to pick Y/N up.

She kept asking me about my girlfriend but I never told her that we broke up. I didn't want her to feel responsible for my decision. At the club, she got close to everyone pretty quickly. She was unstoppable, downing one drink after another. I hadn't touched alcohol since I was driving. The others kept handing her drinks much to my dismay. She asked me to come dance with her but I had the others to look after too. She was busy dancing surrounded by too many guys, one of them going as far as to touch her and grind against her. All I saw was red, I bid the guys good bye and stormed the dance floor to drag a reluctant Y/N with me; I ended up carrying her out on my shoulder. She wasn't very happy, screaming and hitting me till I put her down. She puked as soon as I put her down and joked about missing my expensive car, I didn't really mind if she hadn't since she was more important than the car. I got her medicine and left them at her side after putting her to bed.

We spent the next few days after the race sight seeing. Y/N brought up my girlfriend a few time and I ended up avoiding her. When we were cuddling while watching Barbie I felt my heart beating out of my chest as she scooted closer to grab tissue. When her hand brushed against my skin, it burnt and a weird feeling erupted in my chest. She seemed completely unaware of how she was making me feel. We fell asleep on the couch that night.

I wasn't able to avoid the girlfriend question any longer and told her that we broke up without making any eye contact on the way to drop her to the airport. My eyes stung and there was a lump in my throat; I wasn't sure it was because of my girlfriend or Y/N. I bid her farewell, she would turn back towards me to wave after every few steps; my eyes were blurry after sometime trying to prevent the tears from falling. I ended up crying after she left.

All the races after, I ended up going shopping after or before every race to collect some trinkets or stuff that was special to that place and mailing it to her with small notes attached. She would graciously open them in front of me on video call; the smile she gave me the first time she received was unparalleled. It made my stomach turn over. I wanted to make her smile every chance I got. That's how I ended up sending her a package after every race from every country until I got reprimanded by her for the excessive amount of gifts. She asked me not to send one after every race and stick to one or two in total; I was forced to agree to that request.

We were planning on spending Christmas and New Year together; she wanted to leave after Christmas but I was able to convince her to stay until I had to leave for pre-season training. I couldn't wait for the season to end and to spend the year end with Y/N. We celebrated me winning the championship on video call; even though I had hoped she could be present in person but it wasn't possible with her schedule. This championship felt better than the last two since I was able to celebrate it with her. 2021 me wouldn't believe me right now.

Y/N flew in as soon as winter break started for her. I had cleaned up the house as much as possible. I had told my cats about Y/N visiting who seemed excited. I picked her up from the airport and when we got home the cats were very excited to meet her; a lot more receptive than the other guests I've had over. We spent the next few days going to places and the Monaco GP circuit. She cribbed about walking the entire time we walked the path. It made me laugh.

The night before Christmas we fell asleep on the couch cuddling; I hadn't slept this well in a very long time. When I woke up, Y/N was no where to be seen. I sat up waiting for her to return when she came back, she looked so cute in her jumper and shorts with her hair a mess. We opened up presents after some time. She had gotten me a Sid plushie, an ugly sweater and perfume. I got her a Formula One book with my face, a coffee mug and a pendant. I wanted to get her more stuff but I was sure she would make me return it if she saw every thing. I think the house would be over run with the amount of stuff I wanted to get her. Then she brought the matching sweater she got with me; I put it on immediately. I wanted to match with her all the time. We had a bit of back and forth on the dinner but agreed on Turkish kabab.

New Year came too quickly, which meant Y/N would be leaving soon. We went clubbing on New Year eve. She didn't drink like the last time we were at the club but made friends with some of the guys there. Having a social butterfly for a friend was a bad idea. We counted the time down to midnight as the clock struck 12 and I turned towards her to celebrate I saw she was kissing one of the guys she had befriended when we entered. If the club was quite you could hear my heart shatter. That's when I realised that all these weird feeling and all the times I couldn't stop thinking about her was because I liked her, no scratch that, I loved her. I felt my heart constrict when she turned towards me and hugged me later. I didn't want to talk about it, this would ruin our friendship.

All I could think about was how it felt to watch her kiss another man. I hated it, the worst feeling, worse than DNFing or not winning. I hated knowing another man could touch her and feel her. I wasn't even sure how to bring it up since what were we if not just friends. I put myself into training for the upcoming season but those feelings I felt when she kissed another man were still fresh in my head and I couldn't get rid of them even if I tried.

I was able to convince her to join me during her spring and summer break. We had fun, I loved having her waiting for me at the end of the race. I didn't really enjoy all the media questions that had cropped up about Y/N when she was seen with me, before or after the race. During my summer break, I spent it at her place. When I got there, it was a small apartment; but it had a homely feel. She would cook food for me and we would watch movies; I had a few commitments with the team and would leave for some time but then be back. It was so nice to have some one to come home to. When she was having her book launch, I went to meet her at her launch with a bouquet of flowers. "Congratulations" I said while handing her the flowers and giving her a hug. "Thank you" she replied, a smile playing on her lips. We had celebratory dinner after. Immediately after that, we were on the news. It read that I had a girlfriend, she kept apologising but it didn't matter. It made me a little warm, I'm not sure what emotions I felt hearing people speculate that she was my girlfriend.

I flew back to Netherland for the race early, she would only be joining me on the race day due to work. It dampened my mood but there wasn't much I could do about it. She flew in the morning of the race; it made my day watching her walk out of the airport. We talked all the way to the hotel where she got changed and we headed to the paddock. I had thought it through; after the qualifying, I had planned on telling her how I felt. I was gonna win this race and confess to her. Knowing that I can't hold her while someone else can was eating away at me and I wanted to take the chance before it slipped away from me.

I started the race P2 and finished it at P2. In the final laps, the only thoughts running through my head were, I really wanted to ask her out as a race winner, I can't do that now. She probably doesn't even like me like that, did I really want to ruin everything I had with her. I stumbled out of the car towards her, a big smile on her face. And suddenly I said it; "I wanted to ask you out as a race winner" emotions were running high. She insisted me to continue and when I did, she agreed to go out with me. I was over the moon, my head was reeling. This race ending was not what I hoped for but Y/N's answer was something I really was hoping for.

She waited for me in the driver's room. I couldn't help but not touch her. Her skin against mine send electric shocks through me, I couldn't help but smile at the feeling of her against me. I wanted to have this feeling for the rest of the life. I wanted to have her next to me; it took me a while to figure that out but now that I had, I didn't want to let go. I loved her and I wanted her.

We were both in the hotel room at the end of night in each other’s embrace, "Can't believe you're my boyfriend" she exclaimed. "Can't believe you're my girlfriend either." I exclaimed back. "I've liked you since I've known you" she mumbled. "What?" I asked shocked. "Yeah, I've always had a crush on you. Teenage me would lose it right now if she saw" she said. "I'm sorry it took me so long" I muttered pressing a kiss against her lips. "better late then never" she laughed wrapping her arms around my neck, flipping me to straddle my hips. She bent down to kiss me again.

I could spend the rest of my life like this, if it meant I could have her forever.

Hope you had fun. Thank you for enjoying the story!!

[magics-neptunes-things]

Lucky Charm

Hi guys!

A new one with Kyra Cooney-Cross, I got sweet request for her so here it is :)

Next one will be with Leah Williamson.

Enjoy!

TW : None

This dating app thing was the worst idea. Beth told you, Lia told you, Kyra told you. Even Leah told you it was bullshit. But, stubborn and a little desperate, you decided to give this guy a chance. Plot twist, you shouldn’t have.

Contrary to what you had imagined at first, this boy seems actually interested only in the idea of returning home with you. And not to play Fifa. The remarks he tried to slip were as subtle as Katie’s two-legged tackle.

When he left to go to the bathroom, you are quick to send a message in the Arsenal's WhatsApp group.

From You Next time I don’t listen to you, please hit me hard in the head.

From Lia 🇨🇭🍫 Is he that bad?

From You Yes.

From Leah ❤️🤍 On a scale of 1 to 10?

From You 10. I NEED to get out of there.

From Alessia 🧸 What can we do to help you? Wait I’m with Kyra, we call you in 5min and answer with the speaker xx

Surprise, you frown but answer a simple ok. Your date has returned from the bathroom and is picking up the talking where he left it. It’s hard for you to care, despite all your good will. You are the type to think that there is something good in everyone, but right now you are frankly struggling.

"You marked on your profile that you are interested in women and men, right?"

"Mhm" you answer simply, carrying your soon empty glass to your lips.

"Cool. You’re not against a threesome then?"

You almost choke in your glass to this question, but you are saved from having to answer by your phone which vibrates on the table. Despite the relief of seeing « Kyra 🦘 » appear on your screen, you try to look surprised.

“Hello?”

You pick up and put the speaker on, as Alessia asked.

“Y/N?” makes Kyra’s trembling voice.

“Yes? What’s up sweety pie?”

“He…He left me.”

You stick your hand on your mouth to simulate the surprise but it's mostly used to mask your fun. Even if Kyra plays the comedy pretty good, you’re sure that she and Alessia are having a great time.

“Oh my God… You want me to pick you up? No you know what, I’m coming!”

Without taking the time to hang up, you quickly gather your things and put on your coat apologizing to your date. Which has a bitter look displayed on the face.

“I’ll call you back?” he says while trying to grab your hand

“Yeah sur”

You don’t even look at him and hurry out of the restaurant, breathing the fresh and cold London's air. The mixed laughter of Alessia and Kyra can be hear from your phone, making you smile.

"Thank you" you say, removing the speaker and putting the phone on your ear.

"You are very welcome" answers Alessia between two laughs.

"Where are you? I'll come to get you" Kyra proposes.

You hesitate two seconds before accepting. Kyra is one of the reasons you’re desperately trying to find someone. Between your breakup a few months ago and your stupid crush on her, you’re having a hard time keeping your head straight. But you finally accept her proposal and you wait for her in a parallel street, not wishing to meet your rejected suitor.

Kyra joins you on foot, which doesn’t surprise you. She likes to walk and given your Icelandic origins, you don’t mind the cold. So it's walking, hands in pockets, that you take the direction of your apartment with small talk and laughs.

A small moment of silence settles after a joke exchanged, during which you look up to the sky to watch the snow fall.

“Why did you accept this date?” Kyra abruptly asks.

You shrug and bite your bottom lip. You don’t want to make stupid excuses. Kyra knows about your break up and about you trying to find someone. Your love life always make your teammates laugh and it's so catastrophic that you laugh with them. But she doesn't know about your crush on her. You know she isn't interested in you.

"You should be with someone who appreciates you for who you are" continues Kyra. "Not someone who just want to bang you one night and leave you the day after."

"What a langage. You spend way to much time with Leah"

Kyra roll her eyes and as you turn to the next street, you both are facing small wood house with cute decoration. Christmas spirit. You love it.

"Hello there" smile the old lady, working in the stand.

"Hello" you answer with a smile, already looking at her stuff.

"These are wristband lucky charms" she explains

"Interesting. Do you have one for someone who only attracts losers?"

You shoot a glare at Kyra who got closer to the stand with a smirk. She looks at you maliciously and suddenly her body is too close to yours for you to continue to look at her in this way. So you just shift your attention to the old woman who laughed.

"Lucky charms like that are called loved ones"

She winks at Kyra and if you could have observed her better, you would have noticed the redness of her cheeks. When she takes another step to see a little better what is on the displays, her body is so close to yours that you need a few seconds to realize that you have let yourself go against her.

But Kyra says nothing, caressing one of the lucky charms with the tip of her finger.

"I like this one" she whispers thoughtfully, before resuming in a more assured voice "I'll take it, please."

In a few seconds the transaction is completed and the Australian finds herself with a small bag and her lucky charm in her hand. You say goodbye the lady and resume your way back to your apartment.

The snow continues to fall and a new silence sets in, always without being unpleasant.

"And on top of that, it was with a guy" Kyra says, your date always seems to be on her mind.

You laugh when you see her disgusted look, rolling your eyes.

"It’s okay, they’re not that bad."

"Oh please stop talking, you will succeed in convincing me to change my sexuality" laughs Kyra with sarcasm.

"It’s not exactly like I have a choice anyway" you sigh softly.

A few seconds go by before Kyra answers you.

"You are wrong"

"What?"

Her voice is so low that you can’t understand what she’s saying. Sighing, Kyra stops and crosses her arms on her chest, standing straight in front of you.

"There are people who care about you, you know. For what you are. You just need to open your eyes."

Your eyebrows are frowned and you have trouble understanding what Kyra is getting at. You’re so lost, you didn’t even realize you got to the bottom of your building.

"Close your eyes and extend your arm"

Nothing makes sense in what’s happening, but you do as Kyra’s request. You find yourself shivering stupidly when you feel her fingers touch your hand when she passes the wristband she just bought around your wrist.

"Don’t" she whispers when she realizes you’re about to open your eyes.

You realize at this moment how close she is to you, you feel her breath against your face and the heat of her body radiate towards yours. You swallow hard, but you don’t move. Your legs have become so limp that you wouldn’t be able to anyway.

You have the impression of dreaming when Kyra puts her lips on yours during the first seconds, so light is the pressure. You quickly understand that it's to let you push her away if you do not want this kiss. But she is wrong to doubt.

You get as close to her as possible and that’s what she was waiting to presses her lips harder against yours. And you’re suddenly happy to feel her arms move around your waist, or you could quickly faint. What you’re going to say is probably related to the many love stories you’ve read in your life, but you feel like your lips were made for hers. The way they marry together is a sensation you’ve never experienced before.

It's Kyra who ends the kiss first. When your eyes reopen, they meet hers, inquisitors. Snowflakes have settled in her hair and the colors of the Christmas lights color her face when she speaks again.

"I do care about you. You have no idea how much I do."

[amalgamasreal]

On Personal InfoSec

Been awhile since I've had one of these posts but I figure with all that's going on in the world it's time to make another one of these posts and get some stuff out there for people. A lot of the information I'm going to go over you can find here:

So if you'd like to just click the link and ignore the rest of the post that's fine, I strongly recommend checking out the Privacy Guides.

Browsers:

There's a number to go with but for this post going forward I'm going to recommend Firefox. I know that the Privacy Guides lists Brave and Safari as possible options but Brave is Chrome based now and Safari has ties to Apple. Mullvad is also an option but that's for your more experienced users so I'll leave that up to them to work out.

Browser Extensions:

uBlock Origin: content blocker that blocks ads, trackers, and fingerprinting scripts. Notable for being the only ad blocker that still works on Youtube.

Privacy Badger: Content blocker that specifically blocks trackers and fingerprinting scripts. This one will catch things that uBlock doesn't catch but does not work for ads.

Facebook Container: "but I don't have facebook" you might say. Doesn't matter, Meta/Facebook still has trackers out there in EVERYTHING and this containerizes them off away from everything else.

Bitwarden: Password vaulting software, don't trust the password saving features of your browsers, this has multiple layers of security to prevent your passwords from being stolen.

ClearURLs: Allows you to copy and paste URL's without any trackers attached to them.

VPN:

Note: VPN software doesn't make you anonymous, no matter what your favorite youtuber tells you, but it does make it harder for your data to be tracked and it makes it less open for whatever network you're presently connected to.

Mozilla VPN: If you get the annual subscription it's ~$60/year and it comes with an extension that you can install into Firefox.

Proton VPN: Has easily the most amount of countries serviced, can take cash payments, and does offer port forwarding.

Email Provider:

Note: By now you've probably realized that Gmail, Outlook, and basically all of the major "free" e-mail service providers are scraping your e-mail data to use for ad data. There are more secure services that can get you away from that but if you'd like the same storage levels you have on Gmail/Outlook.com you'll need to pay.

Proton Mail: Secure, end-to-end encrypted, and fairly easy to setup and use. Offers a free option up to 1gb

Tuta: Secure, end-to-end encrypted, been around a very long time, and offers a free option up to 1gb.

Email Client:

Thunderbird if you're on Windows or Linux

Apple Mail if you're on macOS

Cloud Storage:

Proton Drive: Encrypted cloud storage from the same people as Proton Mail.

Tresorit: Encrypted cloud storage owned by the national postal service of Switzerland. Received MULTIPLE awards for their security stats.

Peergos: decentralized and open-source, allows for you to set up your own cloud storage, but will require a certain level of expertise.

Microsoft Office Replacements:

LibreOffice: free and open-source, updates regularly, and has the majority of the same functions as base level Microsoft Office.

OnlyOffice: cloud-based, free, and open source.

Chat Clients:

Note: As you've heard SMS and even WhatsApp and some other popular chat clients are basically open season right now. These are a couple of options to replace those.

Signal: Provides IM and calling securely and encrypted, has multiple layers of data hardening to prevent intrusion and exfil of data.

Molly (Android OS only): Alternative client to Signal. Routes communications through the TOR Network.

Briar: Encrypted IM client that connects to other clients through the TOR Network, can also chat via wifi or bluetooth.

Now for the last bit, I know that the majority of people are on Windows or macOS, but if you can get on Linux I would strongly recommend it. pop_OS, Ubuntu, and Mint are super easy distros to use and install. They all have very easy to follow instructions on how to install them on your PC and if you'd like to just test them out all you need is a thumb drive to boot off of to run in demo mode.

If you game through Steam their Proton emulator in compatibility mode works wonders, I'm presently playing a major studio game that released in 2024 with no Linux support on it and once I got my drivers installed it's looked great. There are some learning curves to get around, but the benefit of the Linux community is that there's always people out there willing to help.

I hope some of this information helps you and look out for yourself, it's starting to look scarier than normal out there.

[how-do-i-name-blogs-istg]

sos part 2 has me in a chokehold

Just watched SOS part 2 without any context bc i was promised Gordon angst and oh god did they deliver. Ranted to one of my moots about this on WhatsApp but ima say this here as well because geez. no wonder its one of the top rated episodes...

Spoilers for S3 E13 of Thunderbirds Are Go (2015)

I'm aware that the animation improved over the years but blimey... that really made this episode hit hard on another level

Even before the crash, when hes being chased by the villains, you can see the confusion in Gordon's eyes when he sees the missiles not heading for his vehicle, and then the most horridly realistic realisation i've seen in my life when he realises that the missiles were meant to collapse a small underwater hill, and that he cant divert his vehicle in time. AND OH GOD THE ACCEPTANCE. I SWEAR TO GOD THE TRACY BROTHERS NEED TO GAIN A STRONGER SENSE OF SELF PRESERVATION. He doesn't even try to do anything, he just puts on his helmet in a vain attempt to not die.

AND THEN WE SEE THE HUGE ROCKS THE SIZE OF A DOUBLE DECKER BUS FALL ON HIS VEHICLE AND YOURE LIKE "OH FUCK HE MAY NOT SURVIVE THIS"

AND THE FACT THAT IT'S HIS NOT-YET GIRLFRIEND (ACTUALLY THEY MIGHT BE OFFICIAL IDK BUT THEY SURE DO ACT LIKE IT) WHO HAS TO SAVE HIM WHEN SHE KNOWS FULL WELL THAT HE COULD DIE IN HER ARMS

AND PENELOPES USED TO GATHERING INTEL, NOT HAVING TO GO ONTO THE FIELD AND THIS IS HER ASSUMINGLY FIRST EXPERIENCE OF IT??

ALSO THE FACT THAT IF HE'D GONE UNCONSCIOUS A MOMENT SOONER HED PROBABLY BE DEAD BECAUSE HE WOULDNT BE ABLE TO CALL FOR RESCUE

AND OH GOD HE REALLY COULD HAVE DIED IN PENELOPE'S ARMS WERE THIS NOT A KIDS SHOW

THIS IS THE FIRST THING TO AFFECT ME SO MUCH SINCE FRICKIN HOISNY

all of this is spoken as someone who's been a devout pen&ink shipper since the age of 6

[deardaichi]

011. distance, influenza, and 'best friends' — iwaoi.

pairing: iwaizumi hajime x oikawa toru wc: 1.1k cw: best friends who love each other (maybe too much). sick and emotional oikawa. emotional anchor iwaizumi a/n: i love them so much. 'they are canon', i say as they throw me into a padded room. i hope you enjoy <3 requested by @kanyaiwaizumi27

oikawa calls iwaizumi every day.

sometimes it’s short — five minutes between practice and dinner, just so hear his voice. sometimes it’s an hour of venting about drills and stats and how the argentine league is different and exhausting and beautiful all at once. but always, without fail, he ends the call with:

"i miss you, hajime."

iwaizumi never forgets to say it back.

on a wednesday, oikawa gets the flu.

he wakes up feeling like a corpse and spends most of the morning groaning dramatically into his pillow. when he calls iwaizumi, his voice is thick and miserable.

"save me," he croaks.

iwaizumi sighs. "did you take anything yet?"

"only your absence and my suffering."

"jesus. take a nyquil, toru."

"you take a nyquil."

"you’re the one dying."

he eventually gets oikawa to drink something, then listens as the line goes quiet and soft snores take over. he stays on the call until he hears the change in oikawa's breathing, then hangs up.

the next three days are a blur.

protein shakes. half a banana. nyquil. toru sleeps too much and eats too little. messages come in from the team group chat. he ignores them. the only person he replies to is iwaizumi.

on the third day, he's propped up against the couch cushions, head foggy but slightly more alive. he realizes he hasn't heard iwaizumi's voice in three days.

he checks his phone. texts, yes.

but no calls.

he dials.

call failed.

he tries again. same result.

he checks iwaizumi’s location.

offline.

oikawa — sick, exhausted, still half-delirious — panics.

"iwa-chan is dead."

he says it out loud. sits on the floor. calls again. texts. whatsapp. snapchat. instagram. nothing. he's halfway through composing an eulogy ("he was too young. too grumpy. the world wasn’t ready for his calves") when his phone rings.

CALLER ID: iwa-chan 🩵✨🌏🍀👅

oikawa picks up with a gasp. "YOU’RE ALIVE."

"open the door."

"what?"

"i said, open the door. i ordered you food."

so he does.

and there, standing in the hallway with a plastic bag of groceries and a takeout container balanced on top of his suitcase, is iwaizumi hajime.

"hey," he says.

"iwa-chan," oikawa breathes, eyes wide.

he stares.

then drops to his knees and starts sobbing like his iwa-chan really is dead.

iwaizumi steps inside, drops everything, and shuts the door behind him.

he crouches down, arms immediately around oikawa.

"hey. hey, toru. it’s okay. i’m here. you’re okay."

oikawa clutches the back of iwaizumi’s hoodie, face buried in his shoulder.

"you can’t do that," he hiccups. "you can’t disappear on me. i thought you died."

"i just turned off my location so you wouldn’t know i was flying. i wanted to surprise you."

"surprise?! i had a heart attack."

iwaizumi huffs a laugh and pulls him tighter.

"i’m sorry. i just... felt like you needed me."

oikawa leans back, face blotchy and red. "i need you always. but yeah. this week? i needed you extra."

iwaizumi wipes a thumb gently under his eye.

"so you gonna eat, or keep crying?"

"both."

after food (and more tears), oikawa sprawls on the bed while iwaizumi takes a shower.

he’s asleep by the time the bathroom door opens.

iwaizumi settles in beside him. oikawa stirs in his sleep and immediately shifts closer, head resting over iwaizumi’s heart.

just like he did before moving away.

in the morning, oikawa wakes up alone.

his stomach drops.

but then he sees iwaizumi’s shirt draped over the desk chair.

he checks his phone.

[7:01 AM] iwa-chan 🩵✨🌏🍀👅: went to get groceries. back soon.

oikawa tears up again.

iwaizumi comes back with fresh fruit, eggs, and a loaf of sourdough. he makes them breakfast. oikawa eats with his legs across iwaizumi’s lap. iwaizumi lets him.

their conversation is slow. familiar. easy. oikawa dozes off. iwaizumi doesn’t mind.

later, when oikawa is curled up next to him on the couch, head resting in his lap, iwaizumi cards his fingers gently through his hair.

"i gotta tell you something," he says.

oikawa opens one eye. "if you say you’re leaving again, i’ll cry so hard i dissolve."

"nothing bad. promise."

a beat.

"you remember a few weeks ago, when you had that awful match and you called me crying?"

oikawa groans. "i told you to erase that from your memory."

"i couldn’t. it hurt. i hated not being there. and it’s not the first time either. every time something happens, good or bad, i’m always too far away to be part of it. and you never complain, but...it eats at me."

silence. iwaizumi keeps playing with his hair.

"i know we’ve made this work for a while now. the calls, the visits, the check-ins. but i couldn’t stop thinking about it. how far i was. how helpless i felt. i needed to do something. i needed to be closer to you."

oikawa doesn’t say anything, just listens.

"so," iwaizumi continues, "i applied for a position here. director of athletic performance. a club in san juan."

a pause. oikawa shifts slightly but still doesn’t look up.

"they accepted me last week. i was scheduled to fly in next week for the final interview, but when you got sick, i called and moved it up. figured, if i’m already here for you, i might as well be here for work too."

oikawa finally sits up, blinking rapidly.

"wait. so you’re serious? like… really serious? you’re moving here?"

iwaizumi chuckles softly. "i had my interview yesterday before i came over. they gave me a tour. offered the contract this morning."

oikawa stares. "oh my god. oh my god. you’re staying? like, really staying?"

iwaizumi gives a slow, quiet nod.

"yeah. i’m staying. if you’ll let me."

there's a line they've never crossed. they've never kissed. never said the words out loud. just two best friends, oceans apart, learning how to stay tethered.

oikawa lunges.

his hands are on iwaizumi’s cheeks before he even registers what he’s doing.

he kisses him — sudden, firm, unthinking.

iwaizumi stiffens for a second. then sighs and sinks into it, hands resting gently at oikawa’s waist.

they pull apart just barely.

"wait," oikawa says, breathless. "i’m still sick."

"that was your warning?" iwaizumi mutters.

oikawa shrugs, sheepish. "it felt important."

"well. i regret nothing." before he leans in again.

iwaizumi wakes up with a sore throat and a mild fever.

oikawa kisses his forehead and apologizes profusely, though he does it with the biggest smile on his face.

"if that’s the price of waking up next to you," iwaizumi mumbles, "i’d pay it a thousand times over."

oikawa smiles.

"i missed you too, hajime."

taglist (open. ask to be added <3): @tangerinelovr @oligbia

© everything here is written with care — please don’t repost, copy, or alter my work without permission.

[kryptznnn]

♡- Your Favorite Ex

➸ INTERESTS; - slightly aged up human!neteyam (17-18) x fem!human reader (17)

➸ BACKGROUND; - Just a quick drabble of Neteyam being your ex boyfriend and how things would play out between your relationship. This takes place in a normal setting (present time and place on earth everyone’s human bla bla).

➸ WARNINGS; - wc. 1k or under. fluff, tension, romantic tensions, ex-lovers, close friendship, unknown relationship. ex lovers to lovers.

➸a.i; - neteyam blurb as THAT kind of ex, yk we all have that one ex we literally cannot hate and slide back in their life w that hbd text and a “how you been” yea. this is that. 🌸my main navigation

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

Your ex boyfriend Neteyam who… constantly keeps in contact with you, especially when he’s in an uncomfortable setting, you being his comfort.

Your ex boyfriend Neteyam that… still has your birthday saved in his phone as his passcode and about everything else (and sending you money on your special day)

You ex boyfriend Neteyam who.. constantly asks about your current romance life and when you question him he says he’s asking “as a friend”.

Your ex boyfriend Neteyam that… never fails to swoon you over again with his frequent “what’ve you been up to?” texts.

Your ex boyfriend Neteyam who… loves to announce in public you two are together, his defense is “protecting you from the creeps” even when there are none.

Your ex boyfriend Neteyam who… constantly complains to kiri as if you two are still together.

Your ex boyfriend Neteyam that.. has always been your first call or text whenever you’re feeling down or anxious, loving the way he makes you feel.

Your ex boyfriend Neteyam who… likes every single one of your Instagram stories, and never fails to swipe up on your self-highlights with a flirtatious comment or a heart, the same for whenever you post, always making you kick your feet. (Of course he has his notifications turned on for every time you post.)

Your ex boyfriend Neteyam that… never seizes to push past your notifications on imessage, always making the “I missed talking to you” excuse.

Your ex boyfriend Neteyam that… constantly asks if you miss him, or if you still love him. Of course quickly smirking after hearing your answer, being exactly what he wanted to hear.

Your crazy ex boyfriend Neteyam who… never stopped sharing his location with you, and you of course hadn’t stopped sharing with him. (Because the first time you did you got messages and requests for it + keeps tabs on you through any other social media platform you guys share; Tik-tok, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, Whatsapp, Locket.)

Your loving ex boyfriend Neteyam who… contacts your siblings whenever he hasn’t heard from you in a while, and of course asks Kiri, since she’s your best friend.

Your ex boyfriend Neteyam who… can’t go seconds without some form of physical contact when he’s with you, even if your hands brush against each other it’s enough for him.

Your ex boyfriend Neteyam that… never seizes to parent you, and when you remind him you aren’t together he’s “just showing how much he cares”.

Your ex boyfriend Neteyam that… you somehow ended up going to prom with, all eyes on you two as rumors and pictures spread like wild fire. (but of course enjoying every moment)

Your ex boyfriend Neteyam that… never fails to remind you how much he misses and loves you, especially after seeing you still wear the jewelry he’s gotten for you.

Your ex boyfriend Neteyam who… still has your highlights on instagram on his profile, just archiving it. (that and all other photos of you in his phone)

Your ex boyfriend Neteyam who… you’ve kissed several times, everytime he reminds you it’s “just as friends.”

Your ex boyfriend Neteyam that… pays for your storage plan, apple music, and Apple Tv. (and also being your second personal alarm for school when all of your other ones fail.)

Neteyam Sully, your first love that’s ruined all other love for you, all other relationships you’ve attempted not even making it past 3 months. You and him constantly being on and off and yet still as close as ever, and for the record is your favorite ex.

✴🕷 please do not copy, plagiarize, edit, or translate any works submitted by me. all works are originated and all other pictures used within those works are online images. thank you!! @kryptznnn

[blkkizzat]

Heyyyy giiirl!! How was your trip to Portugal?What was your favorite place there?

Hope it was great and you had lots of funn💖💖🌸✨️

Omg im so sorry boo it took me this long to reply. This actually got lost in the drafts since ive been like busy/sick after portugal i was going to make this my portugal post and wrote on it but never finished it. fbwiufhdskdjhfb

Portugal was AMAZING. I wanna live there forreal, I could totally live a happy life in Lisbon. My favorite thing was the winery we went to called Quinta da Pacheca, we had a cooking class there and got a tour and it was so yummy and the wine was so flippin good!!! Oh also they have two stray doggos they adopted Pacheca and Pacheco and they were so friendly and Pacheco smelled my dog on my shoes and he followed me around the whole time it was so cute. that was my lil buddy.

the church of bones was really cool too but it didnt feel real like it felt fake and not like there were over three thousand people in the walls jhajshbfdj.

more below and a shit ton of pics!!!

I also ate like a goddamn KING there. Theres just so many casual michelin star places around in lisbon. And so many places WORTHY of being michelin star that dont cost your life savings to eat at like normal dinner prices.

the pastel da nada (egg tarts) are out of this world. and i think now i get why europeans are all about the espresso and not full latte. im like addicted to a good espresso shot straight now. my next big purchase is an espresso maker.

omg we also went to vista alegre its a 5-star hotel and then a porcelain factory/museum on the property. i wish i got pics of the hotel (they aren't included) but it was the best mix of modern and classical. and the walls in the hallways were like this sandstone and the doors were made out of stone and like blended in with the walls. I FELT LIKE I WAS IN THE MOVIE DUNE. it was so nice. and omg i bought so much at the porcelain factory, afhabdfjh. but its soooo much cheaper there then buying online. like one of the jewelry boxes i bought was 56 euro and its $135 usd at neimans.

we started in porto its a beautiful city on the water but kind of quiet, i much prefer lisbon for the bars and shopping and i think the food was better there too.

we went to sintra and saw some of the palaces and the spiral underground staircase that led to these tunnels they would do like free mason shit in fjhdfjhbsd.

oh so side note the "will i make it through dinner without sticking this fork in my eye was because i sat between my guy friend who is gay and love theatre and my professor who took us on the trip (who is quite literally if Will Schuester from Glee taught in business school) and they literally talked about theatre over me all night and i wanted to kms. fhirfhauerjkfhb i started a whatsapp group with my friends across from me.

also omg i tried basil ice cream and its my fav now its so good, idk i think people either hate it or love it but i thought it was delish.

oh we also went to lameirinho a textile company and saw how fabric textile was made, we saw a new flannel they were making for LL Bean (i bought the comfiest bathrobe from their company store omg). And then we went to Ecco shoes and FARFETCH for company visits. More wineries, oh and an olive oil company. We had an olive oil tasting which omfg i didnt know there were different flavors and blends it was so good just sipping on it.

[mariacallous]

This post has been sitting in my draft for three weeks now. I’m sorry for the radio silence and thank you for your patience. I’ll include some of what I wrote previously below but a bit of an explanation, first. I think I’ve been suffering a bit of news whiplash. The news in general, and my own corner of it.

Trump’s re-election in November fell just as we, the journalists of the Guardian and Observer, were fighting to save what we felt was the soul of our news organisation, though sadly that wasn’t a recognised line item on any P&L report.

The fight was energising and instructive and clarifying on many levels, but the backwash from it has also been time-consuming and draining. I’ll fill you in on that another time. But I think I’ve finally felt, on the personal level, the “information collapse” that I’ve been thinking and talking a lot about recently.

It’s the term that I’ve been using to describe the tectonic shifts in our news and information system and the chaos of a world in which algorithmically driven social media on platforms owned by unaccountable monopolists has driven out fact-based reporting and news.

We’re dealing with a world in which truth and lies and conspiracy and science compete for eyeballs but not on a level playfield. The game is algorithmically rigged. Conspiracies are often more fun than facts. They drive more engagement and engagement makes more money, that actually is a fact. Meanwhile, journalism is expensive. Since Musk bought Twitter, it’s become impossible to ignore: endless content from MAGA accounts you don’t follow interlaced with crackbait viral videos.

But it’s one thing to write about information collapse, and another to live it. The Observer, or the hollowed-out shell of it, transfers to Tortoise on April 23rd and 100+ journalists have been terminated from the Guardian in various different guises. I’ve said before that in some ways, it doesn’t feel like a particularly surprising coincidence that this happened at the same moment that the tech bros merge with the US presidency. But on the other hand, it has been a lot to deal with.

And then, there’s the news. The only positive is that now that people are being kidnapped off the street by plain clothes ICE agents, the mainstream media has at least become bolder in naming what’s happening. You’ve probably seen stories about the Venezuelan deportees who’ve been shipped off to the megaprison in El Salvador including a Dallas bakery worker whose family claim he was identified as a gang member on the basis of an autism awareness tattoo.

Something about the story had snagged in my brain since I went down a rabbit hole of reading and watching videos on the prison and today, I realised why it’s bothered me so much. It’s not just that it is visibly a concentration camp, though it is. It resembles a set of vast battery chicken sheds for humans. The US deportees taken without any due process and with distressingly little chance of ever getting out are being placed in cells of more than 80 men crammed into tiered metal bunks. The whole place is a human rights violation but the authorities happily let in the cameras and show off the highly militarised guards and brutally choreographed admittance procedures.

What I’ve realised is that this is a concentration camp designed for social media. A point that was proved when the US Secretary for Homeland Security filmed herself in front of rows of silent prisoners and posted it on Twitter. I don’t quite know what this trend should be called. #fascistporn?

That’s a gold rolex, she’s wearing obviously.

The prison has been a key plank in the president of El Salvador’s strongman credentials and the alliance with Trump feels like a macabre new model for international relations.

A federal judge ordered the plane to turn around and return the deportees, and this was President Bukele’s response:

Bukele describes himself as a “philosopher king” in his Twitter profile and he’s a shitposter in the mould of Musk, retweeted by Musk, and now offering cutprice offshore rates for US’s first fascist outsourcing needs.

The prison episode, I’ve realised, isn’t just another bullet point in the breaking of the American Republic. And the US hasn’t just joined the axis of autocracy. This is a new an axis of edgelord strongmen who understand memetic warfare. And this feels like just the beginning.

Wood for trees

I hadn’t seen Bukele’s tweet until I read about it in this piece in the Guardian by Larry Tribe. He’s a Harvard professor and one of the leading constitutional scholars in America who has long been a clear and prescient voice about the risks that Trump poses to American democracy. He’s also someone who understands the role of technology in what we’re seeing happening. I got to know him a bit in the run-up to the 2020 US presidential election when he joined the Facebook Oversight Board.

The piece is a superb response to the dry and scholarly debate in the US about exactly what constitutes a “constitutional crisis” as opposed to some punchy executive orders that may be overturned etcetc. It explains some of the timidity of the press coverage to date and Larry helpfully scythes his way through the consitutional dithering:

But searching for evidence of a “constitutional crisis” in the rapidly escalating clashes of the executive branch with the judicial branch misses the larger cataclysm taking place across the US. This president, abetted by the supine acquiescence of the Republican Congress and licensed by a US supreme court partly of his own making, is not just temporarily deconstructing the institutions that comprise our democracy. He and his circle are making a bid to reshape the US altogether by systematically erasing and distorting the historical underpinnings of our 235-year-old experiment in self-government under law. What we are currently living through is nothing less than a reorganized forgetting of the building blocks of our republic and the history of our struggles, distorting what it means to be American. The body politic is being hollowed out by a rapidly metastasizing virus attacking the underpinnings of our entire constitutional system. Make no mistake. This is how dictatorship grows.

How to WhatsApp an (alleged) Russian spy

Now that Trump and Putin are buddies, Britain has become Russia’s number one enemy. That’s not supposition. Reuters has reported that the Russian foreign intelligence service had made a rare public announcement:

"London today, like on the eve of both World Wars of the last century, is acting as the main global 'warmonger. The time has come to expose them and send a clear message to 'perfidious Albion' and its elites: you will not succeed.”

What’s so striking about this is the language. It is a direct echo of the November 2017 speech that Theresa May made at the Lord Mayor’s banquet in which she called out Russia’s war of aggression against Ukraine and its weaponisation of the information space:

“We know what you are doing and you will not succeed.”

It’s an incident - and how it fits into a wider pattern of call and response - that we discuss in episode 6 of Sergei & the Westminster Spy Ring, the investigative podcast I’ve done with fellow journalist, Peter Jukes, super-producer Ruth Abrahams and Sergei Cristo, a dogged Russian-born British citizen who’s been trying for a decade to reveal the Kremlin’s attempts to subvert British insitutions.

It’s been pretty uncanny timing to have been writing and recording the final episodes of the podcast as the entire Russia-US relationship has shifted on its axis. And after we recorded the final episode, we had one last thing to do: call the alleged Russian spy who kicked the entire story off.

It’s another Sergei: Sergei Nalobin, the former first political secretary at the Russian Embassy in London.

We’d been sitting on two telephone numbers for him that had been published on a Ukrainian NGO website. There was obviously no way that the telephone number would still be functioning, it had presumably been exposed in a hack or leak of data from inside Russia, but we’d been making allegations about Nalobin throughout the series and it’s journalistic protocol to put those to the person in question and give them a right of reply.

So we tried the numbers. Peter rang from his phone and, as we expected, neither worked. But then I had the idea of putting them into WhatsApp and seeing if any details came up. A woman’s photo appeared and without thinking I called the number. This is what happened next:

Those “fucks” are real. I really never expected the number to be working. And the shock when the woman passes the phone to the man is very real. “Is it Sergei?” I ask. “Слушаю vас,” he answers. “I’m listening to you.” You can hear the freeze in my voice as my ask my question and then Nalobin’s reply, “I cannot help you.”

Not in this clip is my mini freakout that followed immediately afterwards, though we’ve put in in the episode. Calling an alleged Russian spy on WhatsApp on my own phone felt both dumb and instructive. Dumb because, well…the risk calculus on all things Russia has changed. Although by far the burden of that risk falls on Sergei, as the former Russian national (he’s now a British citizen).

The episode also includes an interview with Rainer Saks, the former head of Estonian intelligence. In 2022, we learned that Nalobin had taken up a posting there and was again expelled after Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. Saks describes Nalobin as an exceptionally talented operative with “aggressive tradecraft”.

And that there was no doubt, he said, that I had been the target by Kremlin information operations. He described the “scientific” approach that they use to target journalists and especially female journalists who they psychologically profile and then attack.

If a target is really valuable, they put a huge team to work with this profile. If you have to protect yourself personally as well, if you don't have a team behind who helps you, at least a huge team, you are wasting your time just for this personal protection. You have much less time to deal with your job. It was doing before, and this is, unfortunately, it's quite a classical case you have experienced, I would say.

Estonia is a frontline state and hearing this from someone who deeply understands the the Kremlin’s information operations was weirdly emotional.

Tony Blair’s former spin doctor, Alastair Campbell, and now one of Britain’s most influential political pundits tweeted this a couple of weeks ago encapsulating where mainstream opinion has been on the issue for the last eight years. This is not to throw shade on Alastair who has been very supportive of my journalism. But I was moved to respond to his tweet because the idea of a “conspiracy” was what so much abuse directed at this story (and to anyone who’s reported on it) focussed on.

And, if Rainer Saks is right, was itself amplifed by the Kremlin. (I’m happy to report that Alastair took it in good spirit and discussed it on an episode of the Rest is Politics.)

But the Nalobin incident was also instructive because in the making of the podcast, we leaned into the John le Carré spy genre to try and bring this story to a mainstream audience. We wanted to make it sound like drama and to a large part we succeeded, through Ruth’s skilful production and sound design. But calling Nalobin and having him answer, a real person, not a dramatis personnae, felt like we’d somehow broken the fourth wall.

And in any case, it isn’t a spy drama, it’s actually horror. We’re numb to it and Trump and Musk are trying to make us number to it. Worse, to make us bored of the ongoing murder and slaughter of civilians and believe that Ukraine’s defeat is a certainty. The chill I felt on the phone to Nalobin is the chill of reality.

The whole series is out now if you’re a box set binger and if you want to hear more, sign up to the Citizens newsletter as we’ll be advertising events around the series and issues it’s brought up. Also, Sergei has a crowdfunder if you’re able to bung in a few quid as he’s paid quite a high price for his whistleblowing activities.

The episode also includes a conversation between, Sergei, me and Luke Harding, the Guardian journalist who broke the initial story with him and who is relentlessly cheerful by nature. And this was his reflection with Sergei that I thought I’d extract and end on here.

I think deep down, we both care about democracy, we both recognize that it's under threat and that this decade quite similar to the 1930s I don't know if you agree, Sergei, but we could debate whether it's 37, 38, 39 but it feels to me that it's really difficult times, and that in these difficult times, people of good faith and good cheer and good spirit should support each other, and I think that's what we do.

[girlactionfigure]

🟩 Monday morning - events from Israel  

ISRAEL REALTIME - Connecting to Israel in Realtime

( VIDEO - IDF bombing Hezbollah hidden Hezbollah rocket launch sites in south Lebanon villages, this video from Tyre. Note the secondary explosions. )

♦️IDF MESSAGE to South Lebanese: If you are near a building where there are Hezbollah weapons, stay away from the village until further notice.

♦️Intense bombing by the IDF Air Force from the early hours of the morning.  Continued increase of force.  Dozens of villages and towns were attacked from the morning hours in southern Lebanon.  The Lebanese counted over 150+ air force strikes that lasted about an hour and a quarter.

.. Videos from Lebanon show intense explosions and major secondary explosions - meaning rockets hit.

♦️IDF spox: the IDF is now widely attacking Hezbollah terror targets in Lebanon. The targets: Hezbollah launch sites.  We detected Hezbollah's preparations to attack the citizens of the State of Israel and that is why we attacked.  For twenty years Hezbollah distributed weapons in southern Lebanon, placing missiles in peoples homes.

♦️A GENERAL’S ANALYSIS: Brigadier General (resp.) Yossi Kuperverser writes: "The repeated failures of Iran and Hezbollah to obtain revenge by promoting terrorist attacks against senior Israeli officials, may lead them to try to save their damaged honor by extensive military action, which in turn will lead to escalation and justify strong Israeli action."

❗️IDF: Following the IDF Spokesperson's statement, attached is a video that reveals the attempt by Hezbollah terrorists to launch cruise missiles from a house in Lebanon: https://bit.ly/3ZCK3Fp  - these missiles have range over all of Israel and a 300 kg warhead, very destructive.

▪️IRAN AFRAID OF RADIOS.. Reuters report: The Revolutionary Guards have ordered all their men to immediately stop using all electronic radios for fear that they too will be captured by Israel. An extensive operation began to test all devices.

▪️CHINA.. calls on its citizens to leave Israel as soon as possible.  China manages port operations at one of the Haifa ports, and multiple major construction projects in the country including the Tel Aviv light rail.

▪️RELIGIOUS POLITICS.. United Torah Judaism to the Prime Ministers Office: Strongly demand that Netanyahu not fly back to Israel on Shabbat after he flies to the US to speak at the UN.  "If Netanyahu can't fly without staying on Shabbat, let him not fly"

▪️TEACHERS STRIKE DEAL.. Teachers' salaries will increase by NIS 1,200 in relation to the scope of the position.

▪️DEAL NEWS.. The Americans submitted drafts of their new mediation proposal to Hamas - and were refused.

⭕Overnight a large explosion was heard in the city of al-Shadadi, where American forces are located near the Iraq-Syria border.  The US Al Shadadi base was reportedly under rocket attack, alarms sounded at the base.

⭕DRONE BARRAGE from Hezbollah this morning at near-border towns in the near.

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[mahamid110]

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[is-the-fire-real]

judio por elección

Here is a struggle (but what's new, amirite Jumblr?).

@the-gazpacho-ger and I are working on converting. We are in a part of the world which has nearly no Jews. The closest rabbi to us who's willing to give online classes is five hours away by train. We are both disabled. We cannot drive and we cannot currently move.

The problem, to be brief, is that the rabbi's a dick.

The rabbi is teaching two classes, and he's one of the most unapproachable teachers I've ever had. We tried asking him questions during his lecture: he'd tell us to "shut up" or that he'd answer us at the end, and then never did. We asked questions at the end of the lecture: he'd promise to answer us next class, and never did. My wife emailed him questions which he never responded to. We posted questions to the Google Classroom page which he also, surprise surprise, never responded to. He assigns us "homework" he never checks. He springs "quizzes" on us without telling us what to study beforehand and then screams at us for not knowing anything.

On two separate occasions, the rabbi did not show up for class at all. He never apologized for not showing up. He once promised to give an extra class to make up for the one he missed. He never did, and he didn't even bother to offer another class the second time he didn't show up. It's to the point that we logged into the wrong video call on Tuesday for class, and instead of going "This must be wrong, nobody showed up," my wife and I both assumed "Oh, he's running late again and maybe won't show up, guess I'll sit here in the otherwise-empty video call".

And then, of course, we got called out for being late to class!

The last "class" we had, he asked us to fill out an Excel sheet telling him what we'd learned so far. He never sent us the sheet. He complained in the WhatsApp group that nobody had sent him their answers (@the-gazpacho-ger and I had sent them, but they were in a format he didn't like). When we tried to answer him in WhatsApp, he forbade any students from contacting him via WhatsApp.

He sent the Excel sheet thirty minutes before class. Then he spent twenty minutes of class berating us for not sending it to him, laying out new rules, complaining about how nobody ever asked him any questions, and dipping instead of teaching anything.

The president of the local Jewish organization then spent the next twenty minutes of "class time" berating us for not listening to the rabbi.

Now, we are still both trying to study for our next class, which is in five hours from now. But. We're also seriously questioning whether or not this class is worth it.

The rabbi says he can get us before the beit din in a year's time. But I don't know whether or not I believe him, since trust has been broken so many times already. And frankly, I don't know whether or not he'll throw another tantrum in six month's time and decide we're all useless and don't really care about converting.

The issue is that while our trust has been broken, severely, there's also the fact that there is nobody else. Seriously, I've tried. The best we could hope for would be moving across the country to join a different Jewish community entirely. We moved to the countryside because we cannot afford the city. "Just move" is not an option.

We spent money we could have spent on food or bills on these classes with the rabbi. To be told we're just cosplayers when we're literally going hungry at the end of the month to pay for classes he refuses to teach is damaging. And technically, I guess we could keep going hungry in order to save up for a move... but we can't afford rent, that's why we live in a shitty pile of rocks in the middle of nowhere.

We're both worried that we're going to have to fake liking and respecting this man we don't like and respect just to convert... which feels like a betrayal of the concept of conversion? Like we are both lying in order to convert at that point? There's nobody else who will teach us in online classes. And even if they did, we're afraid the local community won't welcome us anymore if we drop the class... since the president was adamant about how much he supported the rabbi, any sign we don't support him or like him would be taken as a rejection of Judaism.

I should note that both of us have suffered religious trauma when we were growing up. Kowtowing to bad/crappy teachers on the basis of "He's a priest/pastor/bishop/rabbi so he has inherent authority" is the kind of thing that makes both of us want to run away really, really fast.

We don't know what to do.

Should we suck it up and try to get along with this rabbi? Should we pump the brakes, even if it means possibly never getting to convert in the future? Should we seek more online resources for conversion? Should we try again next year?

Are we just pretending we don't know what the answer is and are begging people to reassure us that there's another way?

[traveling-at-the-speed-of-light]

Master Post: Wrapped Fics #1, #2, #3

Thankyou to @ucannotkillmeinawaythatmatters for every single one of these. My playlist (and writer's block) thanks you!

#1 - Steddie, 15 (Outsiders by Against The Current)

#2 - First Prince, 24 (Freezing by Mimi Webb)

#3 - Narlie, 89 (Bois Lie (feat. Machine Gun Kelly) by Avril Lavigne)

~1~

Steve never thought being disowned would be a good thing. The Harringtons, his ancestors, had been privileged, a working family made of old money that had built most of Hawkins's buildings and even owned them one time or another.

Steve had expectations put upon him, a legacy and worse, the family name to live up to and while he’d never done a decent job of it, losing it was a new experience. He’d do it all over again if it meant Eddie would still take him like he already has.

God, Eddie. Eddie was a true outsider to Steve when they first met, now they’re sharing a bed and a life Steve only glimpsed in teenage angst fueled dreams, Steve now being nameless and Eddie fearing people still, both damaged beyond repair.

They had always felt alone and unloved in the world, everyone around them golden while they trudged through black and blue and hurting till now. Now, when every broken bone Eddie once had below the surface has healed and Steve no longer has to tell lies to save his reputation or live in broken walls that never held him as tightly as Eddie does when they’re sleeping in Wayne’s trailer late at night as the moon shines through the trees.

They might be outsiders now, Steve a rebel and Eddie still a freak, but they’re free. They aren’t hiding anymore, their true selves out in the open for all to see.

The others/ They don’t know what they’re missing.

~2~

Alex has never felt so cold in his life in this moment and he’s been in England, his face a mask of indifference as he views the recent call list on his phone to see Henry’s WhatsApp number in a list of the same digits going on for endless scrolling before it disappears.

The Latino never thought he would have to be the cold one in the relationship. He’d tried, he’d /tried/ to put up with Henry, but the constant rules, the hiding, it was too much.

He couldn’t keep sneaking behind everyone’s back just to get his cock sucked every one in a while before he was ruthlessly tossed like trash away from the prince and told to pretend like nothing happened. They weren’t together, yet Henry acts so plainly like they were and it makes him hurt under the ice he’s put over his emotions.

At one point, Alex had fallen for that delusion, yes, he’ll admit that, but he’d seen though it now - how Henry only called when no one was around and made sure everyone was none the wiser and not getting a hint, any hint, that him and Alex were more than the “close personal friends” that they were made to be.

Henry said the last time they saw each other in Paris, when Alex instead of making love to him pushed him away, that everybody makes mistakes, but Alex knew that this “mistake” could hit hard and hurt other people than just them. It makes his decision to tell him point blank that he’s leaving, come home, shut that door and swallow the keys even more brutal, but he had to. Not just for Henry to get the hint that he wanted more, deserved more, but so Henry would see with a push that living his life in the shadows and on other people’s opinions and time weren’t worth it.

It more than likely looked like Alex ran for the hills or in more proper terms, abandoned ship to the other, given he’s not answering his calls and declining his invitations, but he had to be ruthless. It was cold, so very goddamn cold and very not like him in retrospect, but he had to do like Henry had - cage his heart for the foreseeable future and work on his mother’s campaign without interruption and without Henry’s continued commentary on his life.

It wasn’t just cold anymore once he closed his phone - it was downright freezing.

~3~

Normally, Charlie Spring doesn’t like to get into fights. Much less fights that he didn’t expect to even get into in the first place, but now he’s here, broken objects around him and the current villain - his  supposed to be boyfriend Nick Nelson -  looming over the other side of the room as they both breathe heavily, cheeks stained red and tears on both their faces, a blowout fight having commenced due to several factors.

First of all, Charlie cheated on him. Yes, he knows that’s horrible and shameful it’s all on him, but it’s really not given Nick was no fucking saint either. The man had a tongue like a razor blade and lately, had been lying straight to his face about several things, the comments and passive responses feeling like Nick was twisting a knife into his back and carving his name all over Charlie like he was owned and not loved like he had been. Like he used to be.

On top of that, Charlie had become anxious of late and had to make up little stories in order to cover up everything he’d been doing off to the side, due to Nick just obviously not caring for him anymore despite pretending to be faithful and forthright with him, just telling him what he wants and weaving words to create magic in Charlie’s ears before it disappears and leaves him hollow. Charlie wanted revenge and he’d gotten it, the only problem with it was that with telling the truth, the illusion shatters.

Last night had been a particularly bad spell, as that’s what had led to now - Charlie’s guilt making him talk way too much and no longer able to continue doing “fake shit” as Nick had coined it during the hours-long row that had now put them in a standoff where they had no idea where to go from because both of them never told each other the truth, neither of them saying sorry and throwing everything in their way to avoid it.

Soon enough, Nick, heavy with regret and hunched over with the pains of sadness and guilt of losing his patience and knowing he’s caused all of this (though Charlie’s sure his friends would say Charlie was the  bad guy while his own would say Nick was) stares him down and Charlie watches forlorn as he leaves the room, the sound of the door slamming upstairs making his heart stop with it’s echo and suffer before he falls to the floor, the remnants of what was happiness and acceptance in pieces around him.

It doesn’t take a genius for someone like him to know that life as he knows is over for good.

[oh-a-very-toxic-octopus]

Okay, Discord buds got my drunken real-time rant about this, but it needs immortalising here for future me's sake.

Years ago, my dad bought a motorcycle trailer.

Or claims he did. I'd argue he bought a bit of scrap metal on wheels. Someone grabbed a fistful of box section and a bit of checkerplate and weld-bolted it all together into the most rickety piece of shit trailer-shaped rack you can possibly imagine.

It creaks if you even look at it. The floor plates don't line up properly; my dad has fallen off this trailer while loading it.

To further highlight the lunacy of keeping this thing, let me add that my dad's bike, the Triumph T160 he and my mum bought new decades ago, has appreciated wildly as a classic and is now worth over £10k. He is loading a £10k motorbike onto a trailer worth £3.50.

I have been ragging on this thing forever. Jim tries to be polite around my parents, but whenever he glimpses this trailer he has to do the turn away/headshake combo and then text me his complaints as 10-20 single-line messages sent over the next half-hour. It's law.

This is my dad revealing another foible of the trailer on the morning of The Event.

Yesterday, my dad drove from London to Anglesey. On sheer distance alone, this trip's worthy of an exacting check of your vehicle and trailer before you set off, but the tail end of the drive cuts through Eryri, the most mountainous bit of Wales, too. The area is remote and the roads are a little dangerous. You have to be prepared.

My dad, unprepared, sets off at around three. At half eight, I'm at home eating an omelette and having an important conversation with Jim about my mum-derived Clothes Trauma. It's taken a lot of gin to get me to this point. This is the most I've had to drink in months and I'm a little out of control, but it's cool, we needed this talk, I think it's putting my weird behaviour in context in a way that'll help him help me.

And then I get a call.

Jim's theory is that we've swapped roles with our parents. We're the dull ones with our full-time jobs and our eye on money and our strict preplanned schedules. Our parents are aimless and doing roughly whatever tf they want, and occasionally they need us to drop everything and bail them out.

This is an accurate take, the phone call reveals.

My dad's broken down short of Bangor. He's stuck on a high windswept road in the pissing rain without a rain jacket. It's a narrow road without a layby or any accessible hard shoulder; his car is parked in its lane with the hazards on, and everyone else has to detour around him. As this is Wales, the narrowness of the road means nothing: it's still a major trunk road and there are lorries blasting by. He is quite upset. He needs us to come rescue him.

We're on the far side of Eryri, 66 miles/an hour and a half away. I'm too drunk to drive, so Jim's roped in, even though he needs to be up for work at six tomorrow morning. My dad's mobile signal is appalling and he keeps dropping out of calls; I have to explain to him that he should use his phone's phone function instead of calling through WhatsApp before we even get the gist of what's gone wrong.

Which is this:

he left home without a jack

or the right socket to fit his wheelnuts

and a known slow puncture in one of the trailer's tyres.

His slow puncture has become a flat, and his planned method of pumping it up again hasn't worked. Thanks to the impeccable design of the trailer-shaped scrap, he can't get at the spare while he has a motorbike loaded up.

It's the most predictable and avoidable breakdown since that one time I forgot to fit a new split link when changing my motorbike chain and the whole thing poinged off outside Aldi. And at least my issue was memory and not a conscious decision to be an idiot.

Anyway, we set out. Important beats:

We lack the diesel to get there without a stop, which is always interesting in North Wales at night. The fuel station in Betws-y-Coed saves us. Thank you Shell. About halfway through the drive, my dad calls again to say he's found his 17mm socket at last and has successfully crawled under the trailer and retrieved the spare, but can't swap the wheels without a jack.

(Having since sobered up and had a good look at the photos, I wonder how the hell he got under there. The trailer sits incredibly low and he's pulled up against the kerb, so how did he get under there? Lying in the road?)

And so we find him, halfway up a mountain road in the rain and wind and dark.

The wind's so wild it almost ploughs my door into that stone wall. As we're putting out our emergency triangle and letting the Ranger's rear chevrons do some work, I am drunk but still struck by how dumb this really is. My dad confesses he got too cold at one point and had to shiver himself warm in the car with the engine on and the heated seats going. He is seventy-odd, for context.

With our jack, it takes approximately three minutes to fit the spare.

He heads off, we head home. The satnav suggests we'll be back by ten past midnight but it's more like twenty-five past.

There's not really a point to this whole rambling post. Carry a jack, obviously. That's not a lesson anyone should have to learn, which has been the running theme of 2023 so far: things go wrong and we learn nothing.

But on less of a down note, things go wrong, we learn nothing, and I get to spend an evening bopping in the car with my long-suffering yet still awesome partner, who, after a lot of gin and a lot of driving, now 100% grasps what my parents are like.

We also got to look very cool and patient and reliable in an emergency. I like it.

[projektnomad]

2035

It started with you coughing up some blood now and then. Not even a lot, just some bloody phlegm on occasion, then more and more as time went on. You’d made the mistake of mentioning it on WhatsApp to a friend. You didn’t know at the time but you’d triggered keywords in an AI algorithm which had been given access to your WhatsApp chats via a quiz you’d taken on Facebook 5 years ago. The AI determined you had a high likelihood of cancer and, knowing your income and general wealth of your family and social circles, had determined that it would be fatal.

The data was added to your online marketing profile and within days your insurance company was aware of your situation. Before you’d even had a formal diagnosis your insurance premium was completely unaffordable and you’d had to drop out of your coverage plan.

Months passed without a proper diagnosis. You could just about afford one with the money you’d saved by selling your car and walking to work but couldn’t afford the day off it would take to get to the hospital, so had to keep showing up to work. Eventually you collapse on the job and are taken to hospital unconscious and against your will. With no coverage you wake up in a hospital bed with a huge debt for the ambulance ride and preliminary treatment. The staff discharge you but recommended you see a physician immediately.

You receive a text from work, you’ve been fired for gross misconduct: leaving the premises without permission. You owe them 4 weeks wages back as compensation. You can’t afford to challenge the decision. With your debt now mounting seemingly by the minute you consider heading back inside and taking advantage of the hospital’s ‘End of Life Special’; offering your organs up to pay for their euthanasia service. As you download the MyPassing app you receive an email from a reality TV company.

-Congratulations! You’ve been selected to apply for Fox’s new series, ‘Chemo Island’ where you’ll be pitted against 99 other contestants to claim the grand prize, FULL cancer treatment and a clearing of ALL medical debts. In the application stage you’ll receive a free diagnosis and (if selected) during filming you’ll receive life extending drugs. The filming is expected to last 4-6 weeks (depending on your prognosis). Contestants must be physically fit enough to complete athletic and dexterity challenges. Click here for more information.-

You ponder it for a moment, standing in the cold outside the hospital, the plastic gown they charged you an extortionate amount for billowing in the wind, exposing your genitals to a passing police drone, which immediately issues you a charge for public indecency and a fine you can’t afford. Could you do it? Every contestant you‘d be pitted against would be fighting for their life, same as you. Winning would mean consigning 99 other people to their fate, losing would inevitably mean death. But, free diagnosis...

You click on the email and visit the site. They’re no longer accepting applications for Chemo Island, the website having been overrun within the first few hours. But there is another one, specifically for contestants with a criminal record, something you achieved only moments ago. A new game show where over the course of a night you’ll be forced to fight against a series of increasingly violent former wrestlers, sports stars and b-list Hollywood actors for a cash prize that would not only clear your debts, but maybe even have enough left over to pay for treatment.

You click to fill out the form and feel a little bit of hope. How bad could a game show called The Running Man even be?