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#Which I was lucky to get at only $20 lol
servantleverslutdrop · 5 months
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I feel like dress shoes are either glued together shit leather garbage or absolutely unreasonably priced, with barely any inbetween
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mayapapaya33 · 7 days
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I had sort of hoped Keyleth would have matured and grown past her anger at the Matron over the past 33 years but I suppose it's in character that she hasn't fully dealt with her grief yet. And the Vorb probably isn't helping her issues either. It just sucks because I think a lot of the fandom take Vox Machina's grief fueled blame and fully accept it as fact when the reality is that Vax's situation is almost entirely his own responsibility. The only other person with any remote culpability is Percy. And even Percy is only really to blame for accidentally Killing Vex, not for Vax's choices. But even if you want to hold Percy accountable for Vax's choice in the tomb as well, that still doesn't make him responsible for Vax's death. Vax could have lived a long full life as the Matron's Champion, as shown by the Delightful Purvan Suul and his companion Galdric.
Vax was a borderline suicidal, self-sacrificing character from day one. He always threw himself into danger headfirst regardless of the cost to himself. Between Percy accidentally setting off the trap creating the circumstances for Vax trading himself to the matron during Vex's resurrection, all the way up to Vax CHOSING to come back as a revenant after being disintegrated in order to help defeat Vecna, the choices have always been his. Especially him, fate touched as he is. Ultimately, Vecna killed Vax and Vax killed Vax. I think it's easier to blame the Matron than to be angry with Vax for being who he was.
The Matron maintains the balance of life and death. She accepted Vax's offers both times, do you think she should have refused? The first refusal would have meant Vex's death, and the second refusal would have meant Vax possibly just staying dead after being disintegrated, and not being there to fight against Vecna, which was truly an all hands on deck situation. There was no time to fuck around with a resurrection ritual that might not even work, the whole world was in danger. One life, a life that was already lost, is a small price to pay to save the world. I'm pretty sure Vax would agree with me!
Frankly, Vox Machina were super lucky and privileged to have so many successful resurrections between them. I think they got a little spoilt and entitled about it honestly. Most people have never even met someone who's been resurrected before, they did it like 20 times! Vax was disintegrated, he chose to come back as a revenant to fight Vecna, protect the world, and help his family. An opportunity he was only given due to his allegiance to the Matron. She gave Vox Machina and Vax extra time together and a chance to help save the world.
For those of you shouting "what about true resurrection!?! I hear you, and Matt said it's complicated and didn't elaborate lol. Personally, I think the Matron has quite the special a barrier of entry to true resurrection, if the spell even works at all in Exandria. I think they touched on it briefly in Calamity but I've forgotten. I can only imagine what insane ritual Matt concocted years ago that he's had plenty of time to work on since. Part of the Matron's whole thing is that everyone must eventually go into death, sure they can avoid it for a while, so some resurrection is fine (the DC gets higher every time), but eventually enough is enough and it's time to go. Hence why necromancers and liches are her enemies.
At any rate, I'm really proud of Keyleth for going to therapy and I hope she goes back when all of this moon business is over because she still needs it and that turtle lady in the frog seemed great lol.
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writingsfromhome · 1 month
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In Plain Sight
A/N: I wanted to play with the idea of 2 characters falling in love at different points in a story and what that would be like on each side. Idk if I fully captured what I wanted but I liked writing from harry/reader pov like this even though I kept switching partways lol.
Would love to know for inspo purposes—how do you know you’re falling?
———————————————
This is a first, you thought as you and Claire walked into the art gallery—one of your friends had a show of their unique pieces, mixing tech with traditional art. All of it was inspired by their partner, the lead in an indie pop band so to tie it all together they were playing at the gallery while the pieces hung on the walls, rippling with their programmed light and movement.
Take a posh gallery and stitch it with a rave. That’s kind of what it looked like in there.
“Guess I didn’t need to look so fancy,” Claire says in your ear. You two had spent the last half hour sorting your closets to figure out what was art-show appropriate.
“Let’s find Mimi,” you shout back.
You weave through the crowds, staying on the outskirts and spot her all the way up the front by the stage. You both agree to find her later and opt for a drink instead.
“Maybe I’ll get lucky tonight,” Claire comments as a tall guy brushes by, eyeing the length of her with a smirk before walking away. “Maybe you will.”
“That’d be nice,” you sigh. You hated being the chronically single one of your friends but that’s just how it went. Well it went beyond that—you felt unlucky in love.
Every relationship you poured yourself into and every relationship failed, just like that.
You were unloveable, maybe. You were lonely, definitely. So you’d take the warmth of a stranger where you could get it.
“I have an idea,” Claire says. “We dance our way through the crowd, I’ll be your wingwoman and we can make our way through towards Mimi. You’re so going home with someone tonight.”
You hold your glass up in agreement, you’d learned to just go with Claire’s ideas. Somehow they never worked in your favour, but that’s what you got for having a best friend that was a smokeshow. It used to bother you, but now in your late 20s after seeing Claire go through men like she went through shoes, it didn’t matter. The guys she went for also wanted a fun time like her. You wanted someone in it for the long run.
The men who felt the pull of her magnet were never meant for you anyway.
It felt mature, to think like that.
As Claire pulls you in, you find yourself dancing with male body after male body, hands on parts of you you barely touched yourself. You feel the familiar hollowness of loneliness. It was a constant companion, and yet never made you feel any less lonely.
Across the room stand two guys, they both watch Claire throw her head back and laugh. The purple and blue lights from above dance over her skin, she looked like a muse come to life. Like she was born from this art gallery.
“Mate. She’s beautiful,” Harry, the taller of the two, comments.
“You gonna talk to her?” Dylan asks. “Because if you’re not…”
“Give me a sec,” Harry got stupidly nervous around beautiful women. Which was stupid because he interacted with them on a daily basis, but that’s probably why he was considered a bit shy by people who met him. Shy was the nice way of saying awkward.
The thing with Harry is that he grew up as a wallflower. But in his mid 20s he started earning the attention of women. Pretty women. He felt like his pot of luck had been filled and then some, and yet he only got lucky on occasion. The problem was he just didn’t know what to do with his newfound attractiveness. Even 5 years on.
“There she goes,” Dylan comments as their muse moves to the bar. “Go on.”
Harry swears under his breath but makes his beeline towards her before anyone else could swoop in.
“Hiya,” Harry slides in beside her and then curses. He should have gone for something more suave. “Can I get you something-“
“I already ordered,” she smiles and Harry confirms she’s more beautiful than any of the crazy art in this room.
“Well it’s on me.”
“Thanks,” she takes him in. He tries not to squirm or think about what impression he was making. “I’m Claire.”
“Right. I’m Harry.”
“Nice to meet you Harry.”
“Likewise…So, erhm, you like dancing?”
She tilts her head, “I do. I was just down there.”
“I know.” Harry says. She raises a brow. Shite. “I mean like I saw you dancing. In the middle. You made it look like a fun time.”
“It is. Is dancing not fun for you?” She laughs. Her drink arrives and Harry pays for it orders for himself.
“I don’t do it a lot.” Harry taps his fingers on the bar. “I like the music part. That make you want to dance.”
She gives him that look. The look that told him he’d tipped the scales too far off to recover. Why couldn’t he just explain he made music? And dancing and making music went hand in hand. Why was that so hard to say??
“Well I’m going back in,” she announces. “Feel free to join.”
And of course he doesn’t. Because she would probably inch away from him if he did until the crowd swallowed her away.
“How’d it go? Make a good impression?” Dylan asks but Harry just downs half his drink and hopes that answers Dylan’s question. He’d made an impression alright.
Meanwhile, in the middle of the dancefloor you move to the heavy drums. This was one of your favourite songs by this group; it was on replay on your Spotify. The girl beside you grins at you and you both move in sync, shouting the lyrics. It’s more fun than you’d had with any guy here tonight.
When the band takes their break and a playlist replaces the live music, you try to find Claire. It’s surprising she doesn’t have a bloke already wrapped around her this late into the night.
“The line to the toilet is stupidly long,” she complains. “I don’t feel so good. Can we get air?”
“Of course,” you grip her arm and help her out. The night air is crisp compared to the recycled air inside. You take in a lungful.
“Hey,” Claire spots someone she knows and she moves towards them. You trail behind her as she walks up to two blokes smoking off to the side. “I never saw you dancing in there!”
The guy she’s talking to shrugs, his cheeks taking on a pinkish colour. He’s cute in a boyish way, but you reckon if he trimmed his hair and grew some scruff, he could be a lot more interesting to gaze at. A face that could hang in this art gallery, a soft pink light shimmering on the highs of his cheekbones.
His eyes clash with yours and you throw a friendly smile and make a conscious effort to join the group. You hadn’t heard what was said in the time you were admiring his face.
“I would if I hadn’t broken my foot a month ago,” the other guy says. He was a cold good-looking. Sharp features accentuated by a buzzcut. You could imagine him in an avant-garde spread of a magazine.
“Excuses!” Claire teases. She was good at this. “I was telling your friend here how fun dancing was, that he should join.”
“And he didn’t?! Harry, mate, we all know you dance.”
“Not the right setting.” He replies. Almost mumbles.
“Any setting is the right setting for dancing,” his friend says.
“Right!” Claire latches onto him, you knew her well enough she’d chosen her prey for tonight. “I feel like dancing is such a good release, any time music comes on my foot just-“
“Can’t hold it in right?” The other friend laughs. “Me too. When I’m on the tube I’m like how do I get into this without looking like a weirdo.”
Claire’s laugh crackles into the air. You smile, she was going home with him for sure.
You glance at Harry, he’s looking after her like a sad puppy. You’d seen that look too many times—dejected.
“I bet you wished you liked dancing more huh?” You tease, quiet so it doesn’t travel to the couple.
“Huh?” He looks at you like he just noticed you were standing beside him. “Oh. No?”
“Right.” Well this was awkward. “So you’re Harry. I’m y/n.”
“Oh sorry,” Claire says when she hears your name. “We’re so rude we just closed ourselves off to these two. This is y/n. and I just learned that this is Dylan.”
“Nice to meet you,” Dylan smiles at you. “Harry are you okay if we split?”
Claire looks at you, asking the same question with her eyes. You nod, and she smiles at you gratefully. Her eyes widen and she motions subtly with her head to Harry. You smile like it was a good idea but you know he wasn’t an option; he was one of Claire’s castaways. But she was too oblivious for that.
“Then there were two,” you joke, reaching for the familiar line. “Are you going back in?”
“In there?” He shakes his head. “We already said our goodbyes. I might just head home.”
“Oh okay. Did you know the artist?”
“I don’t. Dylan’s cousin is the lead singer in the band? We came by to support the show.”
“That’s nice.” You respond back even though he didn’t return the question. “I’ve worked with the artist actually—Jemima.”
“Cool. I take it you’re an artist yourself?” He asks, finally looking at you instead of around you.
“Yep. I do photography.”
A group of people exit the show and their noise drowns out whatever Harry was about to say. Without warning, like a valve opened, your chest fills with the ache of a feeling.
What am I doing here, you ask yourself. You’d come by to support Mimi, but you didn’t owe this guy anything. You should go home, do your usual routine of staring at the ceiling, hearing Claire come in late, try to drift to sleep, and then finally doing so.
Sometimes being with others felt more lonely than being alone.
“Anyway, it was nice meeting you Harry. I’m gonna head home.”
“Oh.” He seems surprised. “You’re leaving for home?”
“Well, yeah?” You shrug. “I’ve made my rounds, danced enough to need a gallon of water. My feet are telling me to go home.”
“You ladies talk about dancing and I feel like I missed out,” he laughs but it comes off kind of awkward and shy. It’s endearing.
You change your mind then—you imagine posing him at 3/4 angle and snapping him from below. Maybe a shot looking through his lashes. Something mysterious yet welcoming. The longer you got to know him, the more he shifted.
“Does that mean you want to go back in again?” You ask.
“Fuck it sure. If you come too. I don’t want to dance alone.”
“Why not? Have you never?”
“Danced alone?” He holds the door open for you and you go in. His energy seems to have shifted. He’s less awkward, more relaxed, but it still feels like you don’t have his full attention. Or maybe that was just your insecurities projected onto a beautiful man.
“I dare you,” you have to tip toe for him to hear you once you’re back in. You use both your hands on his back and guide/push him through the crowd. When you let go you open your arms wide.
He shakes his head and tries to grab your hands but you back away. “Dance!” You shout. “Let’s see.”
He laughs, his head weighing backwards like the ceiling could grant him some confidence, the length of his neck glistening with something you wanted to taste.
When he looks at you again you chant to dance and he shrugs away his shyness. Before you know it he’s moving until he’s actually in sync with the beat. You try not to be a creep, sneaking your phone out. He was a complete stranger but god the photo opportunity was perfect.
You manage two before he turns and finds you in the crowd again. He pulls you closer to him, nearly chest to chest.
“I should be a lot more drunk to be doing this.” He says in your ear. Goosebumps erupt down your arms.
Take it easy.
The two of you end up dancing for a few songs, laughing at new moves you put on. It becomes a contest to do a silly but serious move and you’re in stitches by the time the two of you stumble out.
“Jeez that was fun,” you lean against the brick fence a few buildings down. You were sweaty and out of breath, your body demanding hydration now.
“I have not done something like that in years. It was nice.” He grins. It feels like a secret. “Thank you for pushing me in.”
You felt like you should be thanking him, for the fun and for making you feel included tonight. But of course he ruins it when he opens his mouth next.
“You can tell your friend Claire I ended up dancing. It was a proper good time.”
“Yeah,” you fake a smile, the aching wound reawakening in your chest. “Maybe I will. I’m headed that way though, I’ll see you around Harry.”
His face falls for a moment, you can see him try to figure out asking you to stay but wondering why you’d gone so cold. You hated how a good looking man could fool you into thinking he could be smart. But this one was as daft as they came.
You wave and turn towards the direction of your station, feeling a bitter chill that wasn’t coming from the weather.
***
The next time you see Harry is about a month later. Claire had been seeing Dylan—they hadn’t labelled it according to her so it was still casual. But she felt good about it because he was having a thing at his flat and he’d invited her. So you join Claire since he’d extended the invitation.
“Maybe you’ll see his friend Harry.” She sings as you turn the corner to his street.
“I already told you nothing happened that night.”
“Maybe because you went home after having a marvellous dance-off with him!”
“He kinda got like soggy bread!” You complain. “If it weren’t for me the conversation would have gone stale.”
“Same here. When he spoke to me I mean,” Claire laughs. “Dylan did say he’s a bit shy. Just give him another chance.”
“He’s not interested-“
“You’re so harsh on yourself. Of course he would be! He’d be lucky to be with you…”
You let Claire launch into her tirade. Although you appreciated it, it ignored the fact that someone could just not be interested in you. Especially after fancying your friend first.
Dylan’s flat ends up being nicer than you thought, a lot of windows and fancy tech things around.
“Just call her,” you and Claire walk up to Dylan, Harry, and another guy. Dylan seems to be lecturing Harry on something.
“Call who?” Claire asks.
“Hey,” Dylan kisses her hello. “This girl Harry went to uni with. He bumped into her when she was walking her dog. Harry thinks they hit it off, but he refuses to call her!”
“Why not?!” You and Claire ask. Further proof he wasn’t into you.
“Well I friended her on Instagram and she’s just ignored it!” Harry explains.
“So? Maybe she doesn’t use instagram.” Claire offers.
“She does. I had Dylan request too and she accepted his.”
“Oh?” You notice the pitch change in Claire but nobody else does of course.
“I unfollowed her after,” Dylan says. Or maybe he did hear the change. Smart man.
The friends gathered in the room shift and flow around each other, you lose Claire pretty quickly after the hour mark like you usually did. Eventually it’s you and Harry again, sitting on the couch.
Just like soggy bread, he’s mostly silent with beer in his hand. You get tired of the silence so eventually you slide closer to him.
“So what’s with the girl from uni? Do you have history?”
“Huh?” He seems startled out of his thoughts. “Oh. Her. No we had a few classes, saw her at parties that sort of thing.”
“But it seemed promising when you saw her recently?”
“I think so?”
Poor Harry, he couldn’t even tell the difference.
“What about her number? Or try DM-ing her.”
“I don’t wanna be desperate.”
“Fine,” you think. “Nevermind. She’s probably not into you.”
“But she kept touching my arm,” Harry recalls. “Why would she touch me if she wasn’t interested?”
You look at his physique. It wasn’t anything extraordinary but you can see the temptation to touch his arms.
Meanwhile Harry watches you eye him. It was kind of funny to him. He didn’t know why Claire’s best friend always remained at the end of the night but she was easy to talk to so he didn’t mind. Better than pretending to be interested in whatever Dylan’s tech-bros were talking about.
He hadn’t actually seen Dylan in a while. Probably off with Claire, he thinks with a sigh.
“Yeah nevermind.” Harry hears you say. It’s then he realized he’d tuned you out while his brain had been running. And you had taken his sigh as a response to what you were explaining.
The conversation falls flat after that. And when Harry goes for another drink you decline, deciding it was time to head home.
Surprisingly, Harry says he could use the time away and walks you to the station. Claire was spending the night but mostly he just wanted out of the flat. Walking you a few blocks away was a good enough excuse.
***
A few weeks go by before you find yourself alone with Harry again. It was someone’s birthday, or two people’s. You forgot what exactly was the excuse you took to get out of the house. All you had to know was there were people and an open bar.
Again, you started off in a group but couples drifted away until the two of you remained. You had been standing in Harry’s blind spot so when the last couple leaves, he notices it was you.
“Hey.” Harry says to you but his eyes look out into the room, even his body faces the crowd’s direction. He should have known you were here after seeing Claire cozy up with Dylan.
It should make you feel shittier but you’re almost used to it. After a week of working from home hunched over your table editing photos for yesterday’s deadline you would take any social interaction. No matter how stale. Or soggy.
“Hey!” You elbow him so he looks at you at least. “It's been a while hasn’t it? How’s life treating you these days?”
“Yeah, it's fine.”
“Cool, yeah. Any exciting projects keeping you busy lately or…?”
“Not really. Just the usual keeping me busy right now. Same old routine y’know.”
“Right, right.” You could feel him slip away again. “Yeah. Work can be a drag. I’m pretty sure I gave myself scoliosis being hunched over for 10 hours a day this week. I’d rather fold laundry than do that again, and you probably don’t know this, but I absolute hate folding laundry. But yeah that’s my thrilling life. Anything you've been doing in your free time?”
“Nah. Just trying to stay on top of work.”
“Right.” He was the busiest man on earth apparently. “So everyone at the party’s talking about the new Love Island season. You watch it?”
“Not really into TV these days. Busy with work and all that?”
“Right. You mentioned. I did too.” You nod. “I had a lot of deadlines this week so very busy too. Busy busy. I actually got so stir-crazy I started talking to my plants? It felt silly, but my nan was saying it does help them grow so…it’s a win-win. Or maybe it’s the isolation makes you appreciate the little things…”
“Right.” Harry nods along. He’s looked at you twice this whole time. Well, glanced was more like it. And suddenly you want to scream because it was utterly unfair that you only knew him at any of these godforsaken parties. And he never wanted to talk to you, or cared to.
You’d seen him with Dylan, even with Claire! He was more animated and interested then, even though he stammered through half of it. Was there something wrong with you that put you in gray-scale in this crowd of colourful people?
You’re not Claire, the stupid voice in your head reminds you.
I didn’t need to be Claire, you remind yourself.
“So what about that girl you fancied?” You try to ask him something he might be interested in; you hated how desperate you were getting for company. “From uni? Anything come of that?”
“What?” He finally looks at you. “Oh her. No she uhm. Well embarrassing but she has a bloke. I misread the whole thing-“
“You said she was all touchy!”
“Yeah she was wasn’t she?” He scratches his head. “I dunno, i suppose she’s always been like that. So yeah, nothing happened there.”
He chuckles like he’s embarrassed, yet the smile brightens his face. It makes you a little more upset and you don’t know why.
“Maybe you dodged a bullet. Anyway. I’m gonna make some rounds. I’ll catch you around-“
“What?” He actually turns to you now. “Why?”
“What?!”
“Why you leaving?”
“I’m not leaving. I’m just doing a circle. And getting another drink.”
“Oh,” his shoulders drop a little. You’re confused, because he didn’t seem interested in having you around at all until you were leaving. “Good.”
“I didn’t think you’d miss me if I was gone with your half-ass answers.” You say before you can think. He looks a little stupefied.
“Half-ass?”
“Or were you just being a whole ass?”
“Huh?” He closes the gap between you again. “I was listening to what you were talking about.”
“Yeah. Just listening. It felt like having a conversation with paint while it dried.”
“I’d think that’s better than houseplants?”
You’re a bit stunned—he had been listening. But still. He wasn’t keeping up conversation.
“Now see if you made a joke about it back then it would have been funny. A back-and-forth conversation? Now it’s just a desperate attempt to keep me around. I don’t know what for.”
“It’s not desperate,” he argues. “I didn’t realize you’re so needy.”
You raise a brow, “I am not needy.”
“I think you are,” he grins and with his full attention on you and that stupidly smarmy grin you feel that pull again. Too bad it was just one-sided.
“I’m not. I’ll prove it by leaving your presence for good tonight. See you next time Harry.”
“Don’t be like that,” he calls after you. “And I like to keep you around because I thought we were friends!”
Your stride falters as you’re walking away. You weren’t expecting him to say that.
But wasn’t he just friends because both your friends were dating each other?
What are you even doing here with these people, the thought comes back to you again. The same one that always floated through your mind being in these sorts of places.
If Claire wasn’t dating Dylan you wouldn’t even be here. God, you needed to hang out with friends other than Claire.
***
You unwrap the belt that ties your coat closed and drop it all to the floor. Well not all, your cameras get let down gently.
Your shoulders ached. And your back and your head and your arms. Jeez.
You had a wedding gig that was paying most of this month’s rent, so you had to take it. The only thing is your job started at 6am and ended at 8pm. That was more than half a day and you were spent.
“Hey you’re home!” Claire waves at you as you pass her. She has her phone held out in front of her face, you hear Dylan’s voice on the other end.
“Is that yn? Hii!”
“Hi,” you croak to Dylan. Claire juts her lip out at the sight of you.
“I’ve already done dinner,” she says over the top of the screen. “I’m going out with Dylan and some friends later you wanna come?”
You shake your head. She knows what a low battery yn looked like.
“Okay fine. Leftovers are in the fridge for you.”
“God I love you,” you tell her as you close your bedroom door behind you and collapse into bed.
You liked it when Claire was happy in a relationship, or whatever she called them, but when she wasn’t these were the nights she’d follow you into your room after a big shoot and ask about the details. And you’d complain about the pushy customers eventually moving to how beautiful everything was. She was usually the first person to see your raw images.
But tonight while she talks to Dylan you turn on your humidifier and let the low hushing noise lull you into a relaxing trance. You remember that you only had yourself. That you had to learn to be happy with that, lonely or not.
***
Claire promised to do kitchen duty for the whole week if you came out to Jemima’s partner’s gig. And you couldn’t deny a week of no dishes or meal prep, so you drag your ass out the door despite riding on 4 hours of sleep for the last few nights. But you met your deadline this afternoon so this was as good of a celebration as any. Even if it was a Thursday night.
“So you and Dylan are getting serious huh?” You ask Claire on the tube over.
“Kinda?”
“It’s been over 3 months. Half the time you were with you know who.”
You-know-who, her one relationship that actually meant something to her. Crashed and burned two years ago.
“No,” she blushes. “It’s just, he’s pretty great but we don’t really talk about labels.”
“Maybe you should.”
“Guys always run when you do.”
Do you want that sort of guy, you want to ask. Instead you shrug, “let them.”
She rolls her eyes, accustomed to your biting remarks around men.
The gig is electrifying as soon as you arrive. It gets you moving and your sedentary body remembers it has more flex in it than just your wrist. You’re alive and sweaty a few hours later, happy that you went.
“Hey,” Claire says when you drift back to her. “Dylan said the drummer’s inviting some friends to the place she’s staying at. Wanna come?”
“Yeah! Let’s go!” You were high on just being out and around people, the loneliness had been kept at bay, and you didn’t want to ruin that by going home just yet.
The drummer’s place is the bottom floor of a quaint house near Portobello. Most people are already there by the time you trail in behind Claire and Dylan.
“Look there’s Harry!” Claire shouts, pointing to the figure that was become too familiar to you. He’s listening intently to the couple in front of him. Nice to know he could do that.
You flash her a thumbs up. But her and Dylan start walking towards them. Ugh!
You eye the room, thinking you could make a run-in with alcohol instead of Harry but he looks up at the approaching couple and catches your eye. He waves.
Whatever.
The four of you eventually find a quieter room, mostly because there was a hookah circle going on and everyone there was talking in hushed voices. A stark contrast to the volume in the den.
“Hey, I wasn’t expecting you here.” Harry says when the two of you find yourselves alone again.
“Why not?”
“You didn’t show the last couple times we all hung out. I thought you were tired of us.”
“Maybe I am.” You raise your brow. “Did you miss me?”
“Hey!” Dylan appears in front of you two again before he could answer. “Nish is here, I heard.”
“Nish?” Harry becomes all fidgety.
“Who’s Nish?” You have to ask.
“Someone we know,” Dylan says. You look for Claire and she’s making her way to you. But before she gets there another body steps towards your group.
“Hi! Harry look at you—and Dylan, is it just me or you look more hideous than last time?” The girl cuts in and you take a step back instinctively. The group felt overcrowded.
You watch the two boys hug the new girl, Nish you assume, in greeting.
Claire approaches the group with curiosity.
Introductions are made and Dylan offers to show Nish the drinks.
Then there were three.
“She’s pretty,” you comment. You know Harry agrees what with how much he resembled a ruler.
“Yeah,” he nods stiffly.
“So were you at the gig Harry?” Claire changes the subject. “It was amazing.”
“Yeah! I was there with Dylan and some friends. Surprised I didn’t see you two.”
“Were you dancing?” Claire teases.
“I was,” he blushes. He glances at you. You recall that first night when the two of you had a lot of fun just dancing. “Maybe that’s why I missed you guys.”
You give a small smile at the in-joke. He looks back to Claire.
You all talk about the gig, and then a little about someone similar Harry was working with.
Eventually Claire wonders aloud where Dylan had gotten to and leaves.
And then there were two.
“I get this feeling something’s going to happen,” you say.
“What do you mean?” Harry asks.
You shrug, you didn’t quite know. The whole night was moving so fast, especially after the gig. You just had a sense you missed something and it was bothering you.
“Have you got a drink yet?” Harry asks.
“No, maybe I should.”
“Me too. I’m done mine. I think I want another.”
As you walk down the hall to where it might logically be, you hear a shout. Your stomach drops. Was this it?
“I’m sorry wait!” Someone shouts over the noise. The overall noise dies down a bit quieter. “It’s not what it-“
“Fuck off! I’m done!”
“Shite,” you recognized Claire’s voice anywhere. You rush past Harry and towards the voices.
You find Dylan shirtless and holding it against his chest. Nish is a little ways behind him, hair a lot messier than when you last saw her. Buttons undone on her dress.
You notice the lipstick on Dylan’s neck. A colour Claire would never wear.
Everything snaps into place.
You rush to Claire and try to comfort her but she hurls more insults towards Dylan over your shoulder. You manage to get her out of his sight and she fights you too, she was seething with anger.
“He’s a dick!” She screams. “Why did I think he was going to be any different oh my god! I shouldn’t have let him go alone with her, what was I thinking? Yn! Why didn’t you stop me!”
You knew it was all rhetorical. Claire rarely took romantic advice from you.
“He tried to say we weren’t even a couple I-“ her voice catches and then comes the tears. You pull her in, familiar with the routine. Next would be feeling sorry for herself, then the anger again, then telling you she needed to be alone. Then a few hours would pass before she crawled back to needing comfort again.
And it happens just so.
“I don’t need a mother right now!” Claire says as you convince her to stay with you. To head home. “I just need to clear my head! I’m sorry okay I just want to be alone!”
And you let her go.
And now you had to kill time.
You find a beer and down it. Someone nearby asks you what the drama was about and you strike up a conversation that ends in them trying to kiss you. Ew.
You wander until you find Harry again. He’s surprised you’re still here. Asks where Claire was but as you respond one of the girls from the band recognizes Harry—you’re pretty sure her name is Kate. Soon enough you’re sidelined while they talk about something you knew nothing about.
Well fuck him too, you think miserably.
You grab one of the few remaining cans and head to the back of the house. Past open doors and closed doors. The closed door intrigues you at the end of the hall.
The doorknob is stuck so you wiggle it. Probably locked.
You were tired. God, you were tired of it all.
In a moment of anger you bang your shoulder against the door and magically it opens.
It wasn’t locked, just stuck due to age.
Same, you think.
Inside is the smallest room you’ve ever seen. The size of 1.5 closets. There looks like a childs bed, the walls are covered in posters, and there’s a small set of drawers with a guitar resting on top. It’s cramped but cozy, something about it feels familiar.
You step inside and close the door.
Down goes another beer.
You hope the person who owned the room didn’t mind you crashing it. You lay in bed and let out a big sigh. And then another. It felt good. Cleansing.
You listen to the noises outside, people laughing and talking. You think about Claire. About yourself. All of your several issues combined. The dull ache of loneliness starts in your ribcage and spreads out.
The door handle rattles a few times but eventually you realize nobody’s angry enough to smash it open like you. Most people assumed it’s locked and leave.
You’re taken by surprise then the door does creak open a smidge.
Distant light travels through to paint a multi-coloured line across the floor and over the bed. You lift your fingers to touch it but it feels like everything else.
“Of course you’re in here; I wondered where you went to.” Harry reveals his face by opening the door wider, poking his head in. It looks like it’s floating and the image almost makes you laugh. Almost.
“Why?” You ask in your most disinterested voice.
He takes the question, despite it dripping with apathy, as an invitation. The door remains opened a crack, now just with Harry on the inside.
“Because you disappeared.”
“You started talking to Kate so I made my exit. Did she go home?”
“No.” He inches closer after closing the door. You have no idea how he knew exactly where you were and how to get in. With the door closed it’s not so dark that you can’t make out his figure. But he’s a shadow in the dark.
“Can you sit or something? It’s kind of creepy having you hover like that in the dark.”
“Sorry,” he laughs and again, he overextends the invitation and lays parallel to you. He’s close, with the bed being so small. Your ache spreads. “Kate’s dancing with another bloke.”
“Poor Harry.” You mock. “Every pretty lady wants to dance with someone else.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“I have this special ability to read between the lines.”
“Well my specialty is reading between the sheets.”
The comment lands like a third person on the bed. It’s a withering creature a cross between a baby and a calf. He scoops it off with, “sorry. I really don’t know where that came from.”
You laugh. It was so silly for something so bold to come out of his mouth.
“It’s fine. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you be that bold before. Usually I just watch you fumble around and finish up thoughts inside your head instead of out loud-“
“I do do that don’t I?”
“You said do do,” you giggle.
“Very mature.”
“Very manure.” Your giggles turn into a laugh, something’s cracked inside of you and it feels funnier than it probably is.
Harry nudges you with his elbow and it silences your laugh. It’s abrupt, and he notices. “Why’d you come in here anyway?” He asks. “I thought you’d be with Claire.”
“Were you looking for her? You could be with Claire now y’know,” you say. Some part of you knew you’re tipsy and you should shut up but in the darkness your cutting words feel blunted.
“What’s that mean?”
“Dylan the dick—that’s his new nickname just fyi. He fumbled the bag. She’s free for the taking now.”
“I feel like this violates some sort of girl-code. Shouldn’t you be warning me away?”
You scoff, “Harry don’t be coy. Everyone knows you tried to get together that first night we all met. You always look at her like a lost puppy.”
“I don’t.”
“Do so.”
“What’s it to you?“
You shrug. He’s close enough to feel it.
You were upset tonight. Angry. Angry at Dylan for being another a-hole. Angry at Claire for putting yet another man on a pedestal with all his potential he could never reach. They hadn’t labelled themselves for 3 months, what did she expect would happen?
Mostly you were upset at yourself. Because a part of you watched Claire put herself out there over and over, and you were upset that you couldn’t do the same. That your shallow bruises compares to Claire’s gashes had kept you locked up in your bedroom.
You admit it to yourself then: you kind of liked Harry. And you totally and absolutely hated it.
Because you watched him watch Claire, fumble his words with every woman you catch him with, push him away just so you don’t potentially get hurt. A part of you knows he wouldn’t like you like that. He treats you like you’re part of the furniture half the time. He’s given no indication of the sort. And you just weren’t the kind of girl to leave a confession like that hanging. You didn’t want a public unrequited crush.
It comes again. The wave of loneliness, the feeling that nobody ever has or ever will understand you. That you were an island with no dock, a house with no door. You were unknowable, and unforgettable.
“Why don’t I ever hear about your relationship exploits?” Harry suddenly asks. You forgot he was there and you startle. “Sorry were you falling asleep?”
“No.” You answer. “And because…because I’m not showy about that sort of thing. And it also doesn’t happen as often as you or Claire or Dylan the dick.”
“Wow the name’s really gonna stay.”
“Mhm.”
“Do you have a boyfriend now?”
“Nope.”
“What’s your last actual relationship?”
“A long time ago.”
“Me too.” He sighs. “My last proper girlfriend was in my early 20s. She moved city. We broke up after that, long-distance is hard. I feel like every year I age, I get worse at talking to women.”
“I can confirm.”
“Well not you. You’re easy to talk to.”
“Thanks,” you say dryly.
“Not like that.” He backtracks, sitting up as if you could see his face. “No not like that. You’re…nice. To look at. I don’t mean that I don’t see you as a women—because you are. I see that I uhm-“
“I think you’ll have to take back your previous statement.”
His head falls back on his pillow and he laughs, it sounds like he’s choking on air a little.
“Jeez, what was that?” He asks once he pulls himself together.
“Beats me,” you say with a smirk.
“It gets pretty lonely though right.”
You let his statement sit in the dark. You don’t agree or disagree. Doing so felt like admitting something vulnerable.
“Or maybe that’s just me.” He says after a while. “Maybe you have a great life and don’t fall in love with every other person you meet.”
“Do you actually?” Your interest was piqued.
“I can’t help it. I’m a musician, I just notice something small about them and suddenly a song is being written about them in my head without even realizing. So I just fall in love with a lot of random people. And I uhm, I don’t think I’ve ever admitted that to anyone!”
It was the dark. It was easier to be honest in it. No wonder churches kept their confessions in darkened corners.
You think about all the regular people you fall in love with every time you lift your camera to your face. How every person made you ache; there were whole worlds going on inside of them and you saw it all through the lens.
You wonder briefly if Harry ever wrote a song about you in his head but squash it. He barely took the time to look at you, definitely not long enough to notice you like you did him.
“Here’s my confession—same.” You try for the confession-in-the-dark thing. To make him feel better. “At least when I’m taking photos or making videos. Some people get camera shy but after talking to them they loosen up and getting to capture their whole essence in a picture or a video I just…makes me fall in love too. I like to imagine what everyone would be like in front of a camera. I dunno.”
“What a pair we make.” Harry reaches out and his hand brushes yours. You pull away, hating yourself while you do.
He clears his throat when you reject his bid to be closer, you feel his hand slide back to himself.
Harry didn’t know why sometimes it felt like you hated him and other times like you were friends. He just figured he didn’t understand women. On any spectrum.
“Y/n,” your name is loaded in the dark. You wait for him to continue but the silence stretches out.
“What?” You finally ask.
You feel the bed shift and move under you. He was turning. You feel his gaze on you. You turn your head to look back and he’s inches away. Alarms blare in your head, abort abort! But even in the darkness his eyes find some light to reflect.
Harry’s thinking the same thing about you. Somehow it’s dark but when you turn your head to look at him, your eyes twinkle with what little moonlight streams in from the window. Or maybe that was the streetlights. Either way, Harry wonders why it felt like this was the first time he’s ever seen you. How ironic that it’s in the dark too.
It happens without realizing, his mind starts to string together something about the girl laying in his bed shrouded in darkness, with light in her eyes. A girl with secrets-
The bed vibrates.
“Oh,” you turn away and take the intimate moment with you. You feel around and find your phone beside you. Claire’s face lights up the screen.
“Claire,” you sit up.
“I’m ready to go home,” Claire sniffles on the other end. “Where are you?”
“At the party. You’re still at the party right?”
“I’m just outside. I got some chips but I couldn’t find you so I finished them all.”
You laugh, “Lie. I know how you feel about sharing chips don’t worry.”
Harry watches you have this conversation. Your laugh finds its way right into his chest. He feels warm.
You look at him and hold your finger up, shimming off the foot of the bed.
“You bought two!?” You ask after Claire sniffles about how much she emotionally ate tonight.
“It’s your fault! I ate two because I couldn’t find you and they were getting cold.”
“Well I’m coming outside to save you now.”
You put the phone down and look back at Harry. He’s sat up in the bed and staring at you.
“I gotta go weirdo.”
“Yeah,” he says.
“Well…I dunno if we’ll see each other as much now that-“
“Yeah,” he agrees.
“So good luck? Until next time?” You laugh, but an awkwardness starts to creep in as Harry stays unresponsive and staring on the bed. “Uhm. Okay?? Bye…”
You leave Harry as he is. Did he get all weird because Claire was on the phone? Ugh. What a liar, you think. He was still just as obsessed with her.
You feel a little bad for goading him about it earlier but it doesn’t linger long. When you see Claire you gather her up in your arms and then the two of you set off arm-in-arm back to your small flat together.
***
“So what’s happening with Kate?” Dylan asks. Harry and him are sat at the pub a few weeks later, he’s already moved on from Claire to the girl on his arm. He didn’t know how his friend did it, if Harry had a girl like Claire he wouldn’t treat her like she was disposable.
But thinking of Claire didn’t have that same spark anymore. When he thought about it, she was beautiful and spirited, the kind of woman musicians like him write songs about. But there was someone else on his mind, the kind of woman someone could spend their whole career trying to compartmentalize into songs. Songs turning into albums. Only to find nothing beats her living spirit.
How could he be so dumb, he’d been beating himself up since that night in the dark. He’d had 3 months of being around her and he never actually looked at her. Always took her for granted. God, even that first night together had been the most fun Harry had had in ages. But he’d just turned her into a friend by proximity.
But weeks gone without her, knowing there was only pure chance of bumping into her, had made Harry a regretful heart.
“Hello? Did you scare her off?” Dylan asks.
“Nah. She’s not my type.” Harry responds.
“Harry I should set you up with one of my mates. She’d be perfect for you. She’s a teacher and…”
Harry listens to Dylan’s new girl describe a friend Harry couldn’t be arsed to go out with. All because he wanted something he couldn’t have anymore.
***
Harry runs into Claire at a pub a week later. His hopes soar as high as the sky when he thinks y/n might be here.
“Hi! Claire!” Harry awkwardly stops her as she walks past the bar where he sits. He was waiting for a few of his mates to watch the football match with. Dylan was luckily out of town today, otherwise this pub would have it’s roof blown off.
“Oh Harry hi,” she’s friendly. Harry didn’t think she’d be friendly towards him. She leans in for a hug. “How’ve you been?”
“Good! Ehm good yeah just making more music and stuff. You?”
“Better,” she rolls her eyes. “How’s Dylan the-“
“I’d rather not be in the middle. If that’s alright.” Harry says before he can think. He knew what his friend was, he didn’t want to talk about him.
“Fine.” She crosses her arms. “Yeah. I’m good.”
“Watching the game?”
“Sorta. My family’s down and I know y/n hates the ruckus my brothers make watching the game at home so I’m sticking them here.”
“Oh y/n’s not here?” Harry feels his hope evaporating.
“No. What’s the deal with you and her anyway? Why didn’t you ever…?”
“Y/n?”
“Yeah!”
“She’s not interested in me,” Harry laughs. He was also blind but he doesn’t say that.
“I mean, maybe not crazily but if you asked she would have said yes. She didn’t hate you.”
“Is that the standard now?” Harry jokes.
“It is with her,” she smiles with a look in her eye like there was more there. But of course, Harry doesn’t push.
“I…I dunno. I never thought she would be interested. It never occurred to me.”
“You’re such a guy,” she scolds. “You have anyone now or you’re still regularly putting your foot in your mouth?”
Harry flushes. “I don’t. And I don’t put my foot in my mouth.”
She rolls her eyes but the smile stays on her face. “Anyway, I’m grabbing the beers. I’ll talk to you later?”
Harry nods, suddenly unable to just ask for y/n’s number. Anything.
But as she walks away he realizes he’d had a whole conversation with Claire without overthinking or being a fumbling idiot once.
He thinks back, to the last couple weeks. He realizes it’s been a while since he’s done it.
Was I finally turning a corner, Harry thinks.
***
You had a gig today filming at a studio. Some indie duo but they were gaining popularity on Tiktok and wanted some bts footage of working in the studio for an upcoming music video. You weren’t going to ask questions. It paid decent money so you said yes.
You pull into the parking lot, grateful that Claire had a car you could borrow. It helped lugging around your equipment for videoshoots. Today it was just you as your PA was out sick. It wasn’t supposed to be a lot of angles so you figured it would be okay.
You consider the day a win by the time you pack up. The group were much younger than you but very outgoing and it made for a lot of funny and sweet footage. They also had amazing voices, you told them they were going on your playlists once you got home.
Your right hand goes weightless as you walk with your bags down the hall. You turn just as the helper speaks up.
“Looked like you could use a hand.”
“Harry I…what a surprise hi!” Your mood brightens at the sight of him, despite everything.
“Hi,” he shifts the bag in his hand to return your hug. His body is solid and warm. It made no sense but you missed something about him. “How was your shoot?”
“Really good! I was shooting a…wait how did you know?”
“I saw you in there?”
“I didn’t see you.”
“Yeah I um-“
“You had nothing to do with this right?”
“And if I did?” He meets your eye and you feel out of breath with whatever speaks through them. What was up with that?
“Uhmm I owe you a thank you!?!”
Harry offers a small smile, “I was looking at your work a couple weeks back. You’re really good. I just threw your name out to a few managers if they were looking for someone…”
Harry looks different with this new information. Or maybe this was a Harry that was actually paying attention to you, it was both intimidating and touching.
“Did I do something wrong?” He asks.
“No! No, thank you I…that’s…I’m grateful. Thank you. Can I get you a drink to say thanks?”
“Okay cuz your face was all scrunched up. I thought you were pissed.” He laughs. “And I have some things to finish up-“
“Oh right, you’re probably busy-“
“No no I would love to. Get drinks. With you.” Harry grows more awkward as the air between you crackles with something electric. Maybe, he thought, this is what happens when two people are on the same wavelength.
“Ok. Well when do you finish?”
Harry doesn’t quite hear your question. His head feels flooded with sand and he can’t stop looking at you, right in front of him finally. Why did he never notice your eyes and the way they take him in, your sweetness, the easygoing tilt of your head, or how how disarming your smile was. He chalked it up to being an idiot.
“Wait what-“ he laughs, feeling the blood flush his face. He was doing that thing again, where his brain stopped thinking in the attention of a pretty girl. “What’d you ask?”
“When you finish?” You ask, suddenly feeling shy yourself. You can feel the element of nervousness from him and it made this casual moment feel more intense.
“Maybe half hour?” Harry scratches his nose. “Are you heading somewhere now? You can hang out with me and we can go together?”
You thought about getting to see him work, it sounded promising. “Sure!”
Harry wipes his palm on his jeans and walks ahead, leading you down the hall and to the right. He opens it to a recording studio, gesturing to the chairs and taking the seat behind all the buttons. You set your things down and stand by the panel, curious what each of the controls did.
Harry glances up at you and you shoot a smile, about to ask if it was okay you watch, but he goes back to work just as quickly.
He was working on something that sounded like a pop song. You try to make out all the layers on the software he was using, it kind of looked the same when you edited a video. But there’s too many layers to distinguish.
Eventually you sit back down, admiring Harry in his element. Your mind drifts, and you wonder if everything that happened out in the hallway was a figment of your imagination or Harry was being weird with you. Because the thing about Harry being weird meant he was in his head about one thing.
You wonder, like you did every so often, what could have happened that night in the dark the last time you saw him if Claire hadn’t called. Harry had looked at you like he had just met you—with a good curiosity.
But then again, this was the same Harry that probably looked at Claire with the same look.
“Done.” Harry turns in his swivel chair with a grin an hour or so later.
“Great!” You shake off your thoughts and set your laptop down.
“Did you want to leave your things here?”
“I have a car I can put them in?”
“The place I was gonna take you to isn’t that far from here.”
So you agree, and leave your equipment in the studio. The two of you walk out, talking about what he was working on. He asks you about your shoot today and the conversation carries you to the pub he had picked out.
Conversation starts to fizzle out as you tuck into your booth seat.
“What you guys getting today?” The waitress appears almost instantly, it startles you.
You look at the menu and to her. She’s got a beautiful face, round cheeks framed by micro bangs and night-black eyebrows that made her look permanently unimpressed. And yet her rosy cheeks and button nose were a friendly addition to the severity of the rest of her.
You glance at Harry, ready for him to be a bumbling idiot around her. He glances at you from the menu when he senses you looking over and for a second you feel the loneliness creep in. Despite the warm smile he sends your way.
“Can we get a few more minutes?” Harry asks her. She pockets her things without another word and walks away.
“What’s good here?” You ask to fill the silence.
The two of you go over the menu and by the time the waitress returns you’re ready. You watch Harry ask her questions and place the order, confident and direct. His eyes slide to yours every so often and each time they do you feel your resolve slip a little more.
“What’s changed then Harry?” You tease when she leaves. You tease, but you seriously want to know. “I thought you’d be a puddle of words around a woman that gorgeous.”
“Her?” Harry glances back. “I guess. I’m not such a mess.”
“Oh you so are.” You laugh. “You’re all ums and uhs.”
“I’m…fine. I’m not so bad anymore!”
“Yeah so? What happened?”
He looks at you with such a serious look that your smile dies down.
“Drinks,” the waitress places them down on the table, saving the both of you from whatever would have come next.
“Thanks,” you tell her and pull the distraction towards you.
“Let’s just say,” Harry says after she leaves. “I gained some perspective.”
You raise an eyebrow, not wanting to push it any more. “Okay.”
For the first time in a while, your nerves overtake the anxious discomfort you usually lived with. Something was definitely happening here—you weren’t hallucinating. But you weren’t sure where it was going, and if you wanted it.
Of course you want it, stop convincing yourself otherwise, you tell yourself.
Why did vulnerability feel like facing mount everest in just your pjs.
“I bumped into Claire a few weeks ago, she seems to be doing well.” Harry says and you can’t help but overanalyze for a heartbeat. He’d brought Claire up after all.
“Oh she didn’t mention,” you reply.
“She was with her family? Said you kicked them out of the flat-“
“Oh!” You laugh. “Yeah her brothers get stupidly rowdy when the football’s on. This one time I had an interview early the next morning and—this was before I knew how loud they could get. And I was up. Until 2am nearly to tears! Finally I snapped, they call it the y/n-geddon. Then of course I felt so bad I couldn’t sleep for another two hours. Now we just draw boundaries.”
Harry laughs at your story. “Sounds scary. Now it makes sense though.”
“Better for everyone,” you laugh. “But yeah. Claire’s been good, it was nice her family was down she’s always more herself when they do.”
Your food arrives and you put the conversation on pause as you tuck in.
“How about you?” Harry asks. “Your family?”
You tell him about your family and the conversation moves on to moving out, living in the city. It branches out naturally like a tree, and both of you relax into each other’s company.
It was really nice, you admit to yourself. It felt like talking to an actual person rather than the shell of someone. Which is how it felt like talking to Harry in the past. The only soggy bread was the butty dipped in your soup.
You pay, as you insist it was to thank him for the help. It’s cooler out when you had back to the studio for your things and there’s more people out; those free of their office jobs and roaming for a drink to relax into.
The studio’s empty and you head towards your bags, asking Harry if he was heading home too.
“Yeah, I’ve been here since 6 so I think I’m ready to go home.”
“Shite that’s early!”
“Deadlines!” He sighs. “What can ya do.”
“Can I give you a ride somewhere at least?”
“If you’re going in the direction of the station I’ll hop in.”
“Yeah sure!”
“Good thing you have a car with all that equipment.”
“Yeah my thoughts this morning. But that reminds me of all the footage I have to edit.” You say. “Thanks to you.”
“Anytime. Anytime y/n. I’m gonna keep whispering your name around. You’ll be fully booked soon just watch and see.”
“You don’t have to,” you set your things back on the ground. It didn’t seem like Harry was in a hurry to get out.
“I want to,” he replies seriously. The room feels smaller than it did seconds ago, or maybe the awareness of Harry’s proximity tightened the space between you.
“Thanks,” you try to meet his eye as you say it but it’s hard to. His gaze strips away any doubt you had; his feelings are written all over his face. All you could think was: Holy Fuck what is this
“It’s my pleasure,” he says which just sucks any remaining oxygen out of the room.
When you’re on autopilot you don’t even think, you just go through the motions. That’s what it felt like, one second you’re standing opposite Harry. The next you’re standing right in front of him and his lips are on yours.
Maybe you just imagined this scene so much it became repetitive and now this—kissing him, felt so familiar.
He’s nothing like the timid and awkward Harry you watch at parties and pubs. He’s sure of himself, kissing you in the exact way to soothe your past aches; your loneliness is washed away like ocean tides over words etched in the sand. You get lost in it. In him.
You don’t know when his hands slide around your waist and pull you in. His lips are soft and gentle. Your mind blanks as the sensation of being held, of his touch, spreads. You don’t realize you stop kissing back, just for a second, until he pulls away.
Harry takes a deep breath, face pink and brows furrowed. This felt right, but was he reading it wrong? He did that often.
You take a small step back, needing the space to process. It felt right, better than your imagination, and you couldn’t deny the pull you felt to him.
“So um,” you bite your lip. “You still want that ride?”
“Where is it going?” He asks, the tightness in his chest easing a little when you look up at him, head tilted and a nervous expression on. He wasn’t reading it wrong. Both of you were just a little overwhelmed.
“Anywhere you want it to. I was thinking it could go home.”
“Mmm,” he nods. “Home sounds nice.”
With a smile exchanged, he lifts most of your equipment to the car. You have to take a beat outside the car just to force your brain to go from scrambled to whole so you can manage the drive home. It took every ounce of concentration.
Claire’s not home when you get there and you’re so grateful for that. Firstly, you just wanted to get him back into your bedroom. Secondly, you wanted this just between the two of you. At least for today.
You drop her a text in case, like you two usually did. You tell her you had company over.
The rest of the night can be spent uninterrupted.
You set everything in the living room and take Harry back to your bedroom.
He looks around curiously, taking in the photos on the walls and the things on the dresser.
You watch him, feeling a little exposed. he was looking. Seeing. You. It was different. Good different.
Harry looks at you with a question and you answer by closing the space between you; he reaches his arms out and your body is engulfed by him. Your lips meet, this time less hesitant.
It’s not long before Harry pulls you towards the bed, falling backwards with you on top of him. You straddle his hips and kiss him like a teenager. You feel his fingers brush your waist and tug at the bottom of your top.
It’s off in an instant and you try to hide the smile as Harry takes in the sight of you, his eyes filling with awe. He was such a dork. But it made you feel empowered, and seen. You reach for his shirt and he lets you take it off.
When you lean forward again, chests pressed together, his hands find the small of your back. They trace circles there, sending shivers up your spine.
You take the cue and kiss him slowly, rocking your hips against him. He gasps, his hands tightening as you trail kisses along his neck.
The sounds he makes go straight to your core and you feel the familiar flutter that tells you to hurry. You move back, undoing his jeans and helping him slide them off.
“You’re alright with this?” He breathes into your skin.
Your heart thuds in your ribcage, but mostly from anticipation; you never realized how long you wanted this for. Wanted him.
“Of course,” you pause and so does he. “Took you long enough.”
With a wry smile he covers your mouth with his and soon the two of you find a rhythm that no song could compete with. You find company in someone you’d sworn could never be yours.
It’s bliss.
***
The sun filters through the window and casts a warm light across your floor.
You were in your own bed, and in the middle of the mattress with a leg thrown over the edge was Harry, sound asleep. Tbe weight of his arm over your waist and the steady sound of his breathing is the proof you needed that this was real. He was real.
The two of you hadn't bothered to get dressed last night. It was an unspoken understanding that this wasn’t the end.
You turn onto your side; it was a nice view.
It was a nice morning, actually. The first morning in a while where you not only woke to a warm body, but one that felt like it belonged. That wasn’t going anywhere
Claire must be somewhere in the flat, you realize. You hadn’t heard her come in.
Harry starts to stir as light fills the room. His eyes squint open and his left hand comes up to cover his face.
You reach over to run your fingers through his hair and he sighs, his face relaxing into a smile.
Harry turns to you, eyes finally open and alert and your heart thumps happily.
There was no need for words.
You snuggle closer and he wraps an arm around you. You bury your face into his neck and breathe in his scent.
He laughs quietly, his chest rumbling under you. You kiss him and he responds in kind.
This time there was no rush.
The morning was warm, and so were you.
5 months later
You get there early, you wanted a moment before the guests to take in your accomplishment. Sure you’d been published on websites and magazines before. Your dream has always been to live forever on an album cover. And you’d finally done it.
The venue was a sparkly room thanks to all the disco balls. They contrasted against the rich fabric and wood beams all over the space.
You take a ton of pictures to send to your friends and family.
You mingle with guests as they come in, trying not to give in too much to the hollowed out feeling that came with a string of strangers and the tiresome small talk. You smile and introduce yourself, you know this was how connections were made. In rooms like this.
You feel him come in as you give in to a second drink. You’re at the bar, and your eyes lift up to the entrance and there’s Harry. Your Harry.
Harry’s eyes skim the crowd looking for someone. His someone. No other person mattered until he could locate her. That’s how it felt these days. A million faces could blur by but hers was the one he looked for every time.
He sees her. Looking at him. Of course she’s already spotted him.
You watch as his face splits into an eager smile, his hand raising above his head.
Harry was like fresh lemonade poured into a cup of ice, all of the tiring talks and fake smiles from before vanish as you drink him in. He’s looking at you, only you. You’re looking at only him.
“Sorry I’m late,” he says as a greeting.
“That’s alright,” you peck his lips. “I was just taking a breather.”
“Is the band here? My phone died on the ride so I couldn’t check in.”
“I thought I saw one of them somewhere in that crowd,” you point to the right.
Harry had gotten you this gig. It was the third thing he’d helped you get and slowly you were able to take on less and less wedding and marketing jobs and focus on the music industry. It filled your days and nights with passion-fuelled hard work. You loved every second of it.
And when you weren’t working, you spent time with Harry. It had been 5 months since you started dating. Neither of you questioned what your labels were. You just knew there was nothing else you two could be.
You teased him a lot, how he took the long way to finally recognize the truth. But he made up for it all the time. He made sure you knew how you were the only one for him.
“That is one perfect album,” Harry slips his hand around your waist. Your photograph is blown out to a tapestry and hangs in the middle of the space. It was a sophomore album for the band and with their debut a hit, this tapestry was going to be signed and auctioned. Eventually it would sit somewhere, your photograph, coveted as a piece of music history.
“This is unreal,” you squeeze Harry. “How amazing is it that we both got to work on this album in our own specialties?”
“A perfect match I’d say,” he kisses you.
“What a pair we make,” you grin.
“I see many more shared projects in our future,” Harry promises.
“I’d like that.” It was one of the things you loved about being with Harry, your creativity and how both of you shared a similar industry at times. It brought you closer together, swapping ideas and stories.
“One day I’m going to need album art for the EP I release.”
“Ooh yes,” you clutch his arm. Lately Harry has been spending some times with his head in a brand new notebook, he said he was working on his personal project. “I can’t wait for that day. I have so many ideas of styling you.”
You had a particular image that sat on your phone from the very first night you met. One where he’s dancing alone in a crowd, red lighting casting half his face in shadow and the other in a vibrant scarlet. His eyes are closed and his brows scrunched as his body flows with movement, even in a still picture. You adored it. It was one of the best photos you ever took.
“Me?” Harry looks down at you. He knew whatever songs he pulled together for an EP would be about you. His rush to write recently were from all the time spent being in your presence. It was intense, it had only been 5 months of dating, but somehow he thought you might understand. “I was thinking the cover art could be the subject of my songs.”
“Oh?” You tilt your head.
“Yeah,” he smiles. “How do you feel about self-portraits?”
Your face grows slack as it dawns on you. He had a whole EP in mind, about you.
“Well?” He twitches his hand on your waist, tugging you a little closer.
“Self-portraits sound a bit lonely,” you will your eyes not to tear up.
“But you won’t be,” Harry tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. “You have me. You won’t ever be lonely.”
“I know,” you feel the emotion catch in your throat as you gaze up into his photographic eyes. You can’t explain it but your body feels grounded—more grounded than it’s ever been. Here in his arms you felt together, like you were a book finally finding a shelf to lean on.
The two of you stand side by side and look at the people this collaborative masterpiece brought together. The room fills with the energy of the music. It was special.
"I love you," Harry reminds you.
"I love you too," you respond.
Your life hadn’t change all at once, not really. The biggest thing that changed was Harry. His presence, his attitude, his attention—it shifted. He wasn’t just a guy on the periphery, in proximity. He had you in his sights and he in yours.
You noticed small new things about him, and you wondered if everyone did. He was more confident and present, rooted to and with you. Both of you had bloomed, like caterpillars into butterflies. A pair of butterflies—you should tell him that.
Sometimes you thought you were just born lonely, it’s how it always was and has been. With Harry, you felt less lonely. You felt like things could really change for you.
You extend your hand to him and motion to the dance floor. It was a tradition now—no dance floor would go unmarked by the two of you.
He takes your hand and you lead him there. And with you in his arms he feels set free, like always.
Out of the cocoon and into the embrace of belonging, two butterflies dance in plain sight.
199 notes · View notes
maplesyrupsainz · 9 months
Text
˖⁺。˚⋆˙lover | DR3˖⁺。˚⋆˙
pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader y/n (she/her)
genre: social media au, established relationship
warnings: extreme fluff i fear LOL
summary: in which you and your boyfriend are each other's "lover"
a/n: i made a kind of more angsty dr fic with a pregnancy announcement (HERE) so this is baso a way more fluffier version!! based on taylor's song lover🩷 hope it's not trashhh & also not sure if it's obvious that it all takes place over a period of time
request!!!: danny ric x female reader anouncing shes pregnant maybe idk and theyre so in love idk
fc: various brunette girls from pinterest
my masterlist
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instagram ->
yourusername
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liked by danielricciardo, yourbff, and 432,784 others
yourusername we could leave the christmas lights up till january 🎄
tagged: danielricciardo
view all 5,887 comments
user1 AWWWW the lover lyrics😭
user2 THIS OUR PLACE WE MAKE THE RULES 🥺👏
yourbff this is sickly sweet
yourusername just living my truth😊😊
yourbff im not jealous at all
danielricciardo i love you my sweet girl!!
yourusername i love youuu best christmas everrr
danielricciardo here's to many more 😝
user3 make them stopp🥺🥺🥺
user4 this is our placeee we make the ruuules
user5 there's a dazzling haze 🥰 a mysterious way about u dear 😍
user6 she rly said..... have i known u 20 seconds or 20 years?
danielricciardo
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liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 812,203 others
danielricciardo can i go where you go?
tagged: yourusername
view all 9,012 comments
user7 no way😭😭😭
user8 CAN WE ALWAYS BE THIS CLOSE
user9 FOREVER AND EVER
yourusername my lover 🫶🫶🫶 forever and ever
danielricciardo you are beautiful
user10 she looks so beautiful
user11 what are they doing to us😭😭😭
yourbff never felt so lonely at the holidays as i do right now
danielricciardo my bad
user12 she's just like us😭😭
user13 next thing u know they'll be letting their friends crash in the living room coz this is their place they make the call
user14 dont give them any ideas
user15 ENOUGH!!
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, and 389,998 others
yourusername everyone who sees u wants u
tagged: danielricciardo
view all 4,891 comments
user16 are you highly suspicious y/n
liked by yourusername
user17 THE TEDDIES
user18 tbh they prob do want him
user19 yup. i do
danielricciardo i only want you
yourusername & you have me
danielricciardo good
maxverstappen1 staging an intervention for you both to stop being so in love on the tl
yourusername you're just jealous because you're in love with my boyfriend & you cant have him
maxverstappen1 keep your voice down y/n.
yourusername everyone knows max. sorry
danielricciardo 🤔
user20 MAXIEL
user21 maxiel crumbs.. world peace is restored
danielricciardo
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liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername, and 781,572 others
danielricciardo loved u three summers now, but i want them all ☀️
tagged: yourusername
view all 11,682 comments
user22 🥹🥹🥹🥹
user23 can 😭 i 😭 go 😭 where 😭 u 😭 go 😭
user24 can 😭 we 😭 always 😭 be 😭 this 😭 close 😭
yourusername there will never be another summer where u dont have me!!
danielricciardo ❤️ forever & ever
user25 why r they sooo cute
user26 ladies & gentlemen will u please stand 😝 with every guitar string scar on my hand 🖐️
user27 i take this magnetic force of a mannnn
yourbff not more
maxverstappen1 i know it is getting ridiculous now
landonorris let's break them up 😊
yourbff good idea
danielricciardo you guys are awful and mean
yourusername 😮
landonorris my bad
user28 LOL
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, yourbff, and 881,724 others
yourusername all's well that ends well to end up with you 🥹💍💍💍
tagged: danielricciardo
view all 18,023 comments
yourbff my babies🥹🥹🥹
landonorris you switched up rq...
maxverstappen1 🤨🤨🤨
yourusername shush every1
danielricciardo my wifeeee
yourusername lucky lucky me
user29 my heart's been borrowed and urs has been blue 💙
user30 my favs finally engaged omgg😭😭
charles_leclerc congratulations 🥂
liked by yourusername, danielricciardo
lewishamilton congratulations guys ❤️
liked by yourusername, danielricciardo
danielricciardo
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liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 987,802 others
danielricciardo at every table i'll save you a seat
tagged: yourusername
view all 23,892 comments
user31 loverrrr🥺
yourusername i love you omg omg omg
danielricciardo i love you forever and ever
user32 god this is sick & twisted !!!
yourbff some of us are single. jk congratulations u beautiful people im so blessed to have been apart of ur day 🥹
yourusername love u more than words
maxverstappen1 congratulations 💍
liked by danielricciardo, yourusername
landonorris congratulations guys thanks for inviting me 🍾
liked by danielricciardo, yourusername
pierregasly such a beautiful couple, congratulations again
liked by danielricciardo, yourusername
user33 ugh their love is just so beautiful
yourusername
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liked by danielricciardo, yourbff, and 789,973 others
yourusername couldn't really hide it any longer could we🤰
tagged: danielricciardo
view all 12,902 comments
user34 NO WAYYY
danielricciardo i am so so blessed and lucky
yourusername no mee
user35 OMGGG congrats to everyone's fav f1 couple
yourbff congratulations u gorgeous girl cant wait to meet baby!! 👶
yourusername you & me both 🥹
landonorris can i babysit
danielricciardo probably not safe
yourusername how is a baby going to babysit
landonorris age shamers. im 24!!
yourusername then act like it maybe 🥰
maxverstappen1 so happy for you both!
liked by yourusername, danielricciardo
danielricciardo
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liked by landonorris, lilymhe, and 912,673 others
danielricciardo could we always be this close? our life since baby was born. sorry for being so silent 🥰
view all 17,921 comments
user36 omg never apologise for that congratulations to you both
yourbff congratulations again to the most beautiful family in the world
danielricciardo we love you!
user37 omg look at them😭😭
user38 we've come so far
maxverstappen1 you guys really won at life
danielricciardo 😘 means a lot coming from you
user39 my maxiel heart
yourusername my lover ❤️
danielricciardo forever & ever ❤️
THE END 🤍
1K notes · View notes
fairyysoup · 2 years
Text
western nights
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♫︎ western nights - ethel cain ♫︎
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pairing(s): eddie munson x fem!reader
summary: You're on a road trip to nowhere. Eddie wants to get the hell out of dodge. It's a match made in heaven- if only it were, actually, heaven.
words: 13k
cw: explicit, smut, piv sex, oral sex (f + m receiving), exhibitionism, light choking, spitting, eddie is 24, reader's age unspecified (over 21), illegal activities, theft, smoking, alcohol consumption, strangers to lovers, bonnie & clyde type dynamic, mechanic!eddie, eddie's trying hard to be a good boy he's just got issues, pining, perv!reader, some slight dubcon/somno for a sec if you squint, there was only one bed, graphic depictions of violence, a drunk guy being nasty to both eddie and reader, bar fight, blood, arguments, angst, hurt/comfort, panic attacks, an overall janky relationship here, inspired by the song western nights by ethel cain
a/n: *slaps fic* this bad boy can be written with so many cold medicines in my head <3 ethel cain if you see this do NOT interact i have done zero justice to your song and also completely disregarded some key aspects of the themes of it lol this is loosely based at best
ALL MY WORKS ARE 18+ MINORS DNI
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He’s never looked more beautiful on his Harley in the parking lot, breaking into the ATMs, sleeping naked when it gets too hot…
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You’ve become something of a connoisseur of gas station coffee. 
You know which chains have the best. Love’s always has the best and freshest, with the most options of flavors. Pilot is usually a crapshoot, depending on what area of the country you’re in. Occasionally, if you can find it, Bodega doesn’t disappoint. And the worst, by far, is always Shell. Shell coffee, you think, must come directly from the sewers of whatever backwater town you’re trundling through.
You’re somewhere in Indiana, you guess, judging by the state-shaped keychains on the rotating rack next to the cash register. You grab a state map from a magazine stand and toss it in with the rest of your purchase. You were lucky to have found a Love’s so you could finally afford yourself some proper dark roast coffee; all the watered down arabica stuff you’ve been getting since Cleveland has only been making your head ache. 
“What’s the quickest way to Indianapolis?” You ask the dead-eyed attendant ringing you up, a 20-something year old guy with bags under his eyes and bad skin. 
He chews his licorice like a camel chews straw, staring up at you blankly. “I dunno. Never been.”
You look from him, to the map, and back. “Cool. What town is this?”
“Hawkins.” His bored-by-you attitude is overwhelming.
“Thanks so much for the help.” You afford the attendant a tight smile as you grab your bag of snacks and head out. It’s going to be a long night. 
The air outside is stifling, summer heat hanging in the muggy air like a fog. The humidity makes your hair stick uncomfortably to the back of your neck as you peel off your old green hunting jacket and tie it around your waist. You’ve parked your van under the fluorescent-lit gas pump overhang, providing the proper lighting for you to spread the map of Indiana across the hood and bend over it, using your full coffee as a paperweight. You rip open the singular Slim-Jim you could afford for dinner, and pore over it.
There’s commotion across the parking lot, which stirs you from your rumination over the map. You glance up; there are two guys loitering by a telephone booth in one corner of the lot, sharing a cigarette. Teenagers who have nowhere else to be on a Friday night, you suppose. Five yards away from them, a third crouches in front of a badly vandalized ATM, the cause of the commotion. He seems to be hacking at the wiring with a pocket knife.
You ignore it. So far, on this trip, you’ve seen far worse than a guy stealing petty cash from a gas station ATM. Tracing your fingers across the paper, it looks like if you take state route 13 to I-69, you’ll be in Indianapolis by midnight. Shouldn’t be too difficult, as long as you can find the 13, and then you can find a place to crash in the city.
Grabbing an old highlighter from your pocket, you mark your route in bright pink. The guy from the ATM seems to have gotten what he wanted, moving quickly across the parking lot with his head held high, like he has every right to be there. He approaches a motorcycle parked on the opposite side of the pump from you, and begins feeding dollar bills into the machine. 
“Hey, do you know how to get to the 13 from here?” You can’t see much more than his leather-clad shoulder and hip jutting out from around the pump, the front tire of his Harley sticking out from behind his leg.
There’s a pause, and then his head pops out from around the pump. A curtain of unruly dark hair frames a long neck, big doe-like eyes and flushed lips pouting at you in confusion. It makes you freeze. “Sorry?”
“I, uh-” What were you trying to do? Get on the right course. Right. Of course. “State- uh- state route 13? I’m trying to get to, um, Indianapolis?” You cringe at your own stuttering, nails digging into the paper before you. 
The man stares at you for a long time, dark eyes framed by thick, curling lashes sizing you up slowly. Then, he rounds the pump. “The highway’s just down the road- keep going west and you won’t miss it.” 
“Great, thanks.” You grab up your coffee and the map, crunching it between your tense fingers. He hasn’t moved, still leaning against the gas pump, arms crossed, staring at you. It makes you nervous, in more ways than one. 
“You won’t get far in that heap, though.”
You pause. Your knees threaten to wobble under you as you look up at him. Your hand is on the door, you could simply ignore him and get in, but something in his gaze makes you stop. Is that… genuine concern? Or is he just putting on a show for you? 
“What do you mean?” The heat of the coffee burns through the paper cup and torches your fingers.
“Well, your fender’s bashed in and, I dunno if you noticed, but you have a crack in your windshield,” he gestures at the long crack running horizontally across the glass, just above where your line of sight usually is. “Probably got a lot more shit wrong with it, too, I could hear you coming a mile up the road. Junkyard find?”
“Something like that.” More like, sat in your parents’ garage for so long that you took a chance on the fucked up radiator and bailed. “She’s good, though. She’ll get me another 80 miles, easy.”
“Are you only going 80 miles?” The guy questions, “Or are you going way past that and only doing the 80 miles tonight?”
If he wasn’t so pretty, with a note of flirtation in his voice, you’d be hesitant as hell to tell him. “The second one.” 
ATM guy sucks on his teeth, rocking back on heels that creak with the movement. Rubber soled work boots flash at you from beneath torn blue denim. “Dunno if I should let you go alone, then. You might bust your carburetor halfway there and be stranded.”
That puts alarm sirens in your head. You’d back away if your car wasn’t situated between the two of you. “Thanks, but, uh… I think I can handle myself.”
The teasing smile drops off his face quickly, replaced by a look of subtle desperation. “No, don’t get me wrong, I’m not- I’m not saying you can’t handle yourself. Obviously. Or you wouldn’t be trucking along by yourself through Nowheresville, Indiana,” he chuckles. “I just, ah… let me level with you?”
Your face screws up, but you lean your hip against the fender nearest you- the one that isn’t fucked up. What is it with this guy?
“I’m trying to jump ship. Anywhere’s better than here, but I really want to get to the west coast. I don’t know where you’re headed, but I’ve got my sights on San Francisco. And, uh, I have experience fixing cars, working in a garage,” he confesses. “But I don’t have a ride of my own- this isn’t even my bike, really. So, if you’re heading to the city, and you could use someone to make sure your car doesn’t kick it going over 75, I’m your man. Besides,” he bats his pretty lashes at you, his fingers fiddling with the end of his long hair as he brandishes a wad of ATM-stolen cash, “I have gas money.”
“You want to hitch a ride with me?”
“If you’re okay with it. Otherwise, I bid you fair and safe travels.” He bows dramatically, throwing his hand in the direction of the highway you’d asked about. “But if you ask me, I think you’d be doing both of us a favor in the long run if you let me come with. Just for insurance, y’know.”
“Insurance?” You parrot incredulously.
“Yeah,” he grins. He has dimples, a wide smile that stretches across his face and makes him even prettier than you can stand to look at directly. “Just insurance. No other reason.”
“Mhm,” you grunt, going over the positives and negatives in your head. 
Positives- your car is a piece of shit and you’re sure he’s right, you’re working on borrowed time and you’re less than halfway to your desired destination. Plus, he’s unfairly nice to look at. 
Negatives- you don’t know shit for fuck about him, other than the fact that he’s apparently trying to leave town and makes a hobby of breaking into ATMs. And, hell, even Ted Bundy was supposed to be charming and cute, at first. This guy could be a crazy ax murderer, could be a rapist, could be a junkie who’ll steal your car and leave you stranded, could be, could be-
“MUNSON!”
“Fuck.” ATM guy glances over his shoulder, then ducks quickly around the side of the gas pump as the station attendant comes storming out of the store. He crouches, pressing his hands to the glass window of the passenger’s side and peers through the cab at you on the other side with pleading eyes. “Can you get me a couple miles down the road, at least?” 
“What about your bike?” 
“Not my bike,” he tells you for a second time. “My buddy’ll pick it up when he hears about this, please.”  
The station attendant is making his way across the parking lot now, looking miffed. It’s clearly the most energy he’s put into anything today, but he isn’t moving very fast. 
You’ve made worse decisions in your life. You sigh. “Shit. Get in.” 
“Thank you, thank you.” He pops open the passengers door as you slide into the driver’s seat, tossing the crumpled up map in the back. You guess you’ve found a GPS, for the time being.
“Does my insurance have a name?” you ask as you peel out of the gas station. The attendant hovers by the pump you’d been occupying, looking lamely at the abandoned motorcycle in your rearview. 
“Eddie,” ATM guy says. A ring-clad hand lifts between you, hovering over the gear shift and waiting for your own to settle into it for a shake, “Eddie Munson.” 
You eye his outstretched hand, your stomach doing flips, but you’re unsure if it’s because of him or the very situation he’s just put you in. You lift your hand and bat his with your knuckles, a half-hearted acknowledgement without the formality. “Pleasure doing business with you, Eddie.” 
Eddie coughs, shifting up in his seat to peer behind you at the station. “Fuckin’ Keith. You can just drop me off at the next exit, it’s no biggie.” 
“Hm? I thought you were coming with me to Indianapolis, hot stuff.” 
Eddie whips his head around to look at you. “Seriously? You don’t- you don’t have to, I know it’s a big ask-” 
“You want me to change my mind?”
“Not particularly.” He sinks down in his seat again. “Guess I figured you think I’m more of a liability than anything.”
“I do, but I need all that cash you swiped from the ATM,” you hum with a snarky grin on your face. 
Eddie chuckles, wringing his hands in his lap. His knuckles tighten and relax beneath heavy steel rings. “Yeah, better I do it than you, huh?” There’s an awkward pause, and then he blurts, “Do you have any road music in this thing?” 
You reach forward and hit the volume button for the stereo. You’d been halfway through Danzig’s self titled album- Mother kicks in with the chorus. In the darkness, you don’t see the way Eddie’s eyes sparkle with adoration as he looks at you.
“I think you and I are gonna get along great, sweetheart.” 
You ignore how your thighs press in on themselves while you sip your coffee, and you turn onto highway 13, headed for Indianapolis.
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When you step out of the bathroom in the motel room in Indianapolis, you find Eddie hunched over by the window, wearing nothing but a pair of blue plaid boxers. The chain on his wrist jingles as he smacks at the A/C unit beneath the drawn curtains.
“Everything okay?” You ask, pretty much knowing what the answer is. Your hair drips water down your back, but you can still feel the muggy summer heat in the room practically smothering your pores. 
“Damn Motel 6 A/C,” he grumbles as he gives it one last smack on the side, to no avail. “The unit’s broken, there’s gonna be no cool air in the room.”
“That’s okay, we can crack a window.” 
“In this part of the city?” Eddie scoffs, looking over at you. “Believe me, princess, I applaud your optimism- I would have just driven away from me there at the gas station, given the chance. But if we crack that window, we’re gonna get fucking robbed, first thing. Believe me.”
“I believe you,” you huff, clutching the itchy motel towel to your wet skin. Usually you would just pull on a tank and a pair of panties and call it a night, but there’s no such luck for you here. You have a backpack full of old, dirty clothes, and no clean underwear to speak of- you’ve been washing them in public bathroom sinks since Columbus. “Well, I’m just gonna sleep naked, then. You do what you’ve gotta do.” 
“What- you’re gonna- what?” Eddie blathers, sitting back on his heels. You stare at him for a second- he’s a vision of flushed skin and a cloud of brunette hair cascading over his shoulders. Knobbly knees stick up at awkward angles, hairy thighs disappear into the hem of his boxers drawn tight across his skin. Your eyes glance over the ominous bulge in the crotch of them, not willing to think about those parts of a man you barely know. “You really think- I mean- is that wise?”
“Are you gonna get frisky with me, Eddie?” You ask with a teasing voice. You’d learned enough about him on the way to the city- 24 years old, no prospects, big dreams, ran a D&D club in high school, worked in a garage to help pay the bills- that you’re fairly certain he’s a good enough guy to keep his hands to himself. You just enjoy watching his big eyes go rounder at the insinuation.
“No, of course not. Wouldn’t dream of it.” Eddie looks mortified. He backtracks, “Unless- unless you wanted me to, I mean-” 
“Don’t overanalyze it,” you tell him mildly, turning your back to him to rifle through your bag. “We’re both adults, it’s hot, there’s one bed and we’re both paying for it. Something tells me you’ve done worse things than lay next to someone without clothes on.”
Eddie blows a long breath out of pursed lips, not moving from his seat on the floor. He doesn’t deny your accusation, just mutters, “You put so much faith in me, sweetheart.”
“Don’t make me regret it.” 
You drop the wet towel on the floor and round the bed to turn down the sheets. Eddie’s eyes trail you; you can feel them burning into your skin, lit by the dim yellow light on the bedside table. It takes a moment for him to finally move, a single trembling hand reaching up to swipe a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from the table.
“You gonna sit there on the floor all night?” You muse as you lay back on the bed. It’s too fucking hot. The dampness from the shower hasn’t dried, but now it’s simply growing with the rate your body is perspiring. Your hair and skin stick to the white sheets, which feel pasty each time you move.
“Just getting my bearings,” Eddie says, his voice tight and hollow. “You smoke?”
“Not especially, but I won’t stop you.” 
The smell of tobacco hangs in the heavy air more potently than you expected. The humidity dampens the vapor, making it sting your nose and leech into your mouth, even though you’re not the one directly breathing it. It strikes you as devastatingly intimate- the thought that you might be breathing the smoke that’s already touched his lungs. 
“Do you mind if I strip down, too?” Eddie asks after a long time of deliberating as he smoked. “Not that- I mean, I don’t have any pajamas, so…”
“Do what you need to do, honey,” you murmur, repeating what you’d told him before. “We can find a laundromat in the morning. Maybe get you a change of clothes somewhere.”
“Right.” He doesn’t say much after that, but you listen to him rustling around, stubbing out his cigarette in an ashtray and flicking off the bedside light. 
He straightens up, silhouette looming in the blue-dark from the curtained window. You watch from the corner of your eye while his backlit form hooks its thumbs in the waistband of his boxers, and drops them.
He clambers onto the bed beside you, careful not to bump any part of you. You refuse to look at him, scanning the asbestos popcorn on the ceiling above you with an overabundance of scrutiny, willing yourself to focus on anything but Eddie’s beautiful body, especially what he has below the belt. It’s a bad idea, no go. You don’t want to see it, don’t even want to think about it- what it looks like, how big it is, how it curves, what kind of hair surrounds it, if any-
You’re thinking about it.
And you told him not to overanalyze it. To be calm about it. What a fucking joke.
“You know, I’m not as easy as I might seem,” you blurt out suddenly, unaware of why you even do. You mostly come off sounding like you’re trying to convince yourself of it.
Eddie’s head rustles against the pillow as he glances at you in the dark. “I don’t think you are.”
“Okay. Just- just making sure,” you stutter out. “All evidence to the contrary, and all.”
“I’m not expecting to get lucky with you,” he tells you honestly, a little flatly, like he’s afraid of any inflection in his voice betraying him. “You know, beyond the ride west.”
“Right.” 
“Right.” 
You both regress into silence. You think you’ve both said your piece on the matter. You might not trust Eddie, not entirely, but you at least know he’s not gonna try anything stupid if you let yourself fall asleep. You actually think that he’s asleep after so many minutes, until he opens his mouth again.
“It’s really fucking hot, isn’t it?” He croaks. His hands twitch by his sides, feet jammed under the downturned covers, but everything else bare to the open room, like you. His pinkie brushes yours, and he nearly smacks himself jerking his hand back toward his stomach.
“Yeah, it’s not… it’s not good.” You blink into the darkness. “Sorry, you must be regretting coming with me all this way.”
“Nah, not a chance.” He brushes it off, waving a hand in the air dismissively. “I’ve been itching to get out of there since I graduated. Feel kinda bad that I didn’t leave a note for my uncle, but it’s not the first time I’ve bailed on him. I can always call him from a pay phone. Kinda wish I had my guitar, though.” 
“You play guitar?” you ask dazedly. You don’t have a hard time imagining it, now that you think about it. He has that rocker look about him, the kind that could grace magazines and be on posters on teenage girls’ walls, if he played his cards right. If he got his lucky break.
“Yeah. Pretty good, too, I guess.” He sighs. There’s a wistfulness in it, like he’s reminiscing on something from his past. “It’s okay. I can pick up another one once I get to California. Dropped a mint on the one I had back home, but I guess Wayne can always pawn it. Maybe get himself a nicer place.”
You chuckle. “And you think I’m the optimist here.”
“I never said it was a bad thing,” Eddie scoffs, then deepens his voice quite suddenly. “Two optimists, both alike in dignity-”
A burst of laughter bubbles from your chest, making Eddie grin as you gesture at your bodies. “Or lack, thereof.”
“In fair Indianapolis, where we lay our scene.” He ends his recitation giggling, the flimsy bed frame jolting with the shaking of his chest. “Radiant Juliet, you never did tell me where your chariot is taking me.”
“I’m not sure, really,” you admit, mellowing your laughter into a quiet giggle. “I just wanted to leave home. I was suffocating there, I needed to get out. See what’s out there for me, if anything.”
“And have you seen much?”
“Not much,” you tell him quietly. “Mostly truck stops and shitty roadside attractions. But we’re in the midwest, you know.”
“Don’t remind me.” He lays his hand back down on the mattress beside you. 
You turn your body towards him, damp sheets clinging to your skin as you move. “California might not be such a bad idea.”
Eddie turns his head and glances at you, dark eyes finding you in the dim moonlight. “No? I’ll have to fix your car, then.”
“You do that, and I’ll make sure to get you where you’re going,” you whisper.
“Deal.” His eyes linger on your face, just inches away from his on the pillow. Flickering in the moonlight, two voids that hold all the stars in the night sky seem to take you in like you’re more beautiful than they could ever be.
This time, when your fingers brush, he doesn’t jerk away. This time, you don’t avert your eyes when you look down at his cock, but you sure do regret it when you don’t reach out to touch it.
He’s so pretty. You want to.
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I watched him show his love through shades of black and blue, starting fights at the bar across the street like you do…
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Your underwear and his come out of the dryer wrapped around each other. You spend a minute disentangling them, a small heap of clothes in a rolling laundry basket in front of you. The closest laundromat to the Motel 6 had been a five minute drive down the street. 
You’d woken up with your head on his chest, your arm draped across his bare stomach, despite how you’d fallen asleep barely touching him. As if your unconscious body had known more about your wants than you. His hand had been tangled in your hair, palm cradling your cheek and a bit of your neck, like his own unconscious wanted to keep you against him, too. 
The morning had been easy- the easiest it’s been since you hit the road. Eddie seems to have given you a sense of purpose you didn’t have before, driving around aimlessly, only stopping for fast food every once in a while when you remembered to eat something other than beef jerky and coffee. Once you had extracted yourself from his grip, you’d gone to buy him clothes from the resale store next to the motel. It wasn’t hard to find a plain black shirt and jeans, but used underwear was something you didn’t want to mess with. You’d brought it back to the motel, along with some food from the Waffle House across the way, and you ate cross legged on the bed while he showered and put on his new-ish clothes.
But now, you can’t stop feeling his hand cradling your head. His hot, sweaty skin against your arm. Your fingernails raking lightly through the trail of hair on his stomach, dragging through his pubic hair, your knuckles just barely brushing up the side of his length- thick, uncut, and so so pretty. Then, stopping nervously when you’d gotten too bold, fingers skimming over sensitive skin too close to his groin, and he’d twitched in his sleep.
You want him. You don’t even know him, and you want him so badly you can feel it even now, an aching blush between your legs turning into a dull throb when you so much as think about him. 
You toss all the freshly washed clothes into a plastic bag that you’d grabbed by the door to the laundromat, and haul it out to your van. He’d told you to meet him at the bar across the street when you were done, since he needed to make a few calls on their payphone- he’d even given you his weathered denim vest before he left.
“For insurance,” he winked. “Uh, don’t wash it, though… I stitched it by hand, it’ll fall apart.”
You don’t put it in with the clean clothes. It smells like smoke and alcohol and him, the edges frayed and yellowing a bit. You hold it in your lap for a second, plucking at the stringy bits around the arm holes. Maybe you can convince him to let you soak it in a sink somewhere, hand washed and dried carefully over a working A/C unit, wherever you can find one. You don’t know when he last washed the damn thing, if ever.
When you pull into the parking lot of the dive bar, and you clutch the denim vest in your hand as you step out of your van, something sharp prods your thumb. You hiss, slamming the car door shut and examining what it was. The sharp point of a pin on the vest- which reads Motörhead- had come loose and pricked your skin, which now threatens to ooze blood all over the aged denim.
“Fuck,” you murmur, bringing your thumb to your mouth as you lock the car. You struggle with the vest while you walk towards the door to the dive, trying to resituate the pin so it doesn’t go missing.
You find him loitering beside a billiards table, pool stick in hand, a cigarette in his mouth. When he sees you walk in, his eyes light up, and he nearly drops the stick prancing over to you. 
“Told ya I’d still be here- hey, you okay?” His grin turns very readily into a frown when he sees you sucking your thumb like a child. 
“Yeah, no, I’m fine,” you mutter clumsily, “your pin just nicked me s’all.” 
“Oh, shit,” he curses, reaching for your hand. “Lemme see- no, let me see.” He forces your hand open when you try to close it, and scrutinizes the little pin prick as if it’s the worst battle wound he’s ever seen. “Should’a checked to make sure all the pins were right, this happens all the time. I’m so sorry, baby, my fault.”
Baby. Your brain tries to process it. He called you baby. 
He’s also kissing your thumb, cradling your hand with excessive care. He’s tasting your blood, sucking a little on the pin prick like you had been, so your skin is wet with a mix of his and your spit. You don’t think you’ll ever get tired of the way he touches you. Fleeting as his touches have been, anyways. You melt a little under his gaze as his round eyes blink up at you innocently.
“S’okay,” you tell him with a wobbly smile. “Did you make your calls?”
He looks at you softly, a reserved smile on his face. “I did. Wayne’s miffed, but he’ll live. Told him I’d send him a postcard.”
You giggle at that, thinking you’d sign it along with him. Sorry for stealing away your nephew; it will happen again. “Good. Buy me a drink, handsome?”
Eddie beams at you, and his dimples crease his cheeks as he turns to the bartender. There’s a sweet, boyish manner in the way he puffs out his chest and orders you a drink, his arm circling your waist as he moves you smoothly toward the bar. As soon as a whisky sour has been placed in front of you, he turns and squeezes your arm.
“Hey, I gotta finish this game,” he nods at the pool table he’d been stationed at. “I got some money on it. Y’okay with hanging out for a minute?” 
“Sure,” you chirp, sipping your drink. “Wipe the floor with ‘em for me?”
“It’s in the bag,” he whispers at you conspiratorially. You push his vest at him, imagining he wants to take his insurance back now that you know he’s not taking off on you, but he shakes his head. “No, you wear it. It’ll look good on you.” 
His eyes light up when you shrug the vest over your worn out white t-shirt. As you lift your drink, and he turns back to his game, you think you’d do anything to keep him looking at you like that.
Eddie wins. You don’t know how much he bet on the game, but there seems to be hurt feelings when he collects the money that had been placed on the table. You’ve never been much of a gambler, and he hadn’t struck you as one- but what do you know? He certainly bet on you getting him out of Hawkins, and you certainly took a chance on him. 
You don’t think much of it. It’s late afternoon- the sun’s going down, and you figure you’d better get going, but Eddie wraps his arms around you and says, “Dance with me.” And you do.
The jukebox in the corner only plays country classics. Patsy Cline croons over the speakers, taking you back to a time in your far off childhood. Eddie sways with you to the music, and even though there’s barely any rhythm to his dancing, you find yourself falling into it with him. Your head on his shoulder, his curly hair tickling the side of your face. His breath on your neck, cool on your heated skin. 
That is, until a hand wraps around Eddie’s shoulder and jerks him away from you. A man with blond hair, clearly a few too many drinks in, snarls at him, “That game was bullshit and you know it.”
Eddie blinks at him. “If by ‘bullshit’ you mean I beat you, then sure.”
“You di’int beat me, you cheated,” the man sneers. “I want my money back.” 
“Yeah, no.” Eddie claps the man on the shoulder, trying to push him away. “I won the game, I get the money. That’s how gambling works.” 
You step back when the man’s beady eyes fall on you, peering at him over Eddie’s shoulder. “What’re you lookin’ at?” 
“You leave her out of this, buddy,” Eddie growls dangerously, still forcing the man back with one strong hand on his shoulder. He’s trying to put himself between you and the man, you know. Still, you feel the need to fist your hand in the back of Eddie’s shirt and pull him away.
“I ain’t your buddy. Whatcha lookin’ at, bitch?” The man reaches out and yanks roughly on your arm, making you yelp in alarm.
And that’s when Eddie’s fist connects with the man’s jaw.
There’s a sickening crack. In the chaos, it somehow occurs to you that Eddie’s wearing all those chunky rings. You wonder if they could be considered a deadly weapon, in the same vein as brass knuckles.
It takes you a second to get through the initial shock, finding it hard to focus on who’s doing what. Eddie and the man have barrelled through a couple of tables, knocking over chairs. Eddie has the man pinned to the edge of the pool table, a flurry of fists moving from all sides. 
“You don’t touch my girl!” Eddie shouts at the man. “You don’t fuckin’ touch my girl!”  
His girl.
They tumble to the floor. The man curses and spits blood at him from a cut lip. A strong fist hits the side of Eddie’s face once, twice-
“THAT’S ENOUGH!” The words are shouted by the bartender, finally intervening, pulling the blond man off of Eddie. As the bartender restrains the unruly man, a second pulls an equally enraged Eddie away from him, separating the two. 
By the time you collect a bruised and bloodied Eddie into your arms, you’ve already tuned out the rest of the ruckus going on around you. Someone suggests that you should leave, but the words only barely register. You’re already pulling Eddie out the door and to the car.
You don’t even remember if you closed the tab.
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Trouble’s always gonna find you, baby, but so will I. Crying only because I’m happy, hold me across every state line…
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You don’t know when you started crying. Maybe it was around the time that Eddie fell unconscious.
Tears burn in your eyes like you’ve poured gasoline in them, but no matter how badly it stings you just keep sniffling and driving, tearing down the interstate away from Indianapolis, toward St. Louis. You hopped on I-70 as quickly as you could, and from there you’ve been lost in a world of your own.
He’d almost look peaceful, if it wasn’t for the blood on his jaw and the nasty shiner on his cheekbone. You keep telling yourself it’s not bad enough for him to need to be taken to a hospital. You can’t afford to go to a hospital, and even if you could, you’d have to explain how he got in this condition. It’s a recipe for jail time. You know that. You know.  
You just want to keep him safe, that’s all. 
He hadn’t instigated the fight, not really. He’d just swung first. He was just defending you.
His girl.  
When it gets to be too much, you pull over. Headlights gleam bright and then pass by in the dark with a whoosh of air. You think you must have crossed over into Illinois by now, or you’re getting close to it. The traffic has lightened considerably. 
You rest your head against the steering wheel, taking deep breaths, but the tears keep coming in streams. A while ago, you had a mattress in the back of this van. That was before it started having problems, and it sat in your family’s garage for a year and a half. You should have put a mattress in it when you took off, but you weren’t thinking that far ahead. You were having a breakdown, something like you’re having now, only worse. It was a manic, get-away-or-die-there kind of breakdown. 
Breathe in. You’re not gonna die. Breathe out. He’s breathing.
Once Eddie cracks his eyes open, he flexes his jaw with a groan. You can tell he’s confused by the inquisitive noise he makes, but when he looks at you, all that disappears in a heartbeat.
“Hey, what’re you- oh, god. Sweetheart, don’t cry.”  
As if that doesn’t make you want to cry harder. His hand lands tentatively on your shoulder, stiff fingered but light in touch. He shuffles closer to you, pulling you against him to sob into his secondhand shirt. 
It’s pathetic, you’re sure of it. You feel pathetic, twisting the cheap cotton of his shirt in your hands and saturating it with tears, as he shushes you and soothes a hand over your hair.
“It’s okay, baby,” he whispers into your hair, pressing his aching lips to your scalp in an attempt to calm you down. “We’ll be okay. I’m right here. What can I do?”
For some reason, the question makes you mad. “You don’t fucking fight,” you sob at him, the anger in your voice making him freeze. “You don’t- you don’t get into fights. I can deal with a lot of shit, Eddie Munson, but I can’t deal with that.”
“Okay, honey. Okay.”
“No fighting.” 
“No fighting,” he repeats affirmatively, petting your head. Then he adds, “No gambling.”
“No bars.”
“Well-”
“No bars.” 
“All right,” Eddie resigns, resting his chin on top of your head. Once you’ve stopped crying, from what he can feel, he tells you softly, “I’m not… I’m not like that, you know. I want you to know. I don’t fight, not usually.”
“You did.” 
“I did,” he agrees. “I just don’t like… I didn’t like him touching you. Disrespecting you like that- did he hurt you?”
“No,” you lie. The guy had yanked your arm a little too hard, your wrist still smarting a bit. Nothing near what Eddie had taken. “He hurt you, though.”
“I’ve had worse, trust me.” His tone is ominous, like you don’t really want to know the heavy details of it. “I’m not a fighter. Used to be if I saw danger, I’d just turn tail and run. I usually just take shit on the chin. But I never had anything to fight for before, really.”
You sniffle loudly, grossly. “I don’t want you to fight for me.”
“I’m gonna protect you, sweetheart. No matter what,” he insists. “Long as we’re together, I’m gonna do everything I can to protect you. Okay?”
Long as we’re together. Like you’re a couple, like you didn’t just meet by chance at a gas station a little more than 24 hours ago. Like you’re in love. 
His girl.  
“My dad’s in prison,” Eddie blurts out, raking a shaky hand through your hair. “He, uh… he was a fighter. And a thief. And a gambler. And a liar. He tried his best to make me be like him, but I don’t- I don’t wanna be like him.” Eddie sighs, a sad sound that rips through your already bleeding heart. “I thought maybe getting out of Hawkins would set me straight. Finally give me a chance to make something better of myself, prove I’m not like my old man. I tried, but after high school I got in some trouble, and Wayne had to sell my old van to pay for my bail. Now I’m here, and… Guess you just take yourself wherever you go, huh?” 
“Yeah,” you agree. Your fingers curve against his hip, squeezing the skin there. “So we have to try to change ourselves in the meantime, while we get where we’re going.”
Eddie breathes in, and it sounds an awful lot like a sniffle.
“Eddie. Are you crying?”
“No.” He is.
You lift your head with a wet, coughing chuckle at his futile attempt to hide it. You look up at him, your fingers tucking a lock of unruly, dark hair behind his ear. He’s staring back at you with glassy eyes, the tip of his nose gone red with the tears he’s holding back. He just barely flinches when your knuckles brush the bruise on his cheekbone.
“Hey, handsome,” you coo at him softly, your touch featherlight on his skin. He blinks, a tear dropping from his lashes. “I’m gonna get you cleaned up, okay?” 
“Okay.” His lip wobbles. “Let me hold you a little longer, first?”
“Of course, Eddie.” You fall into his grasping hands, yanking you to him like a child searching for the comfort of his favorite teddy bear. You’d let him hold you as long as he liked.
You wash his face in a dirty rest area just west of Terre Haute. In the middle of the night, no one is around to tell you not to, so you follow him into the men’s room and take your time wiping the blood from his jaw and his hands. You gingerly apply a bandage from your car’s console to his bruised cheek, while he sits in the front seat and brackets your hips with his knees.
He gazes up at you like a man seeing God.
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The neighbors beat on the walls, while I'm face first in the bed. Show me how much I mean to you while I’m lying in these sheets undressed…
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You sleep in the rest area that night, in the back of your van. No mattress, just your backs to the hard floor of the cab. With no A/C again, you shuck your clothes and spread a single white blanket over your bodies, more for modesty’s sake than anything else. Even though it’s unlikely that a cop is going to run you down in the middle of nowhere, you’d rather not get cited for public indecency. 
He holds you all night long, his arms around you and his chest against your back giving you peace, but he doesn’t touch you in any of the ways that you desperately want him to.
It takes the better part of a day to drive to St. Louis. Eddie swallows a couple tylenol for his face with his truck stop coffee and eggs, smiling softly at you from across a bright yellow plywood table in a cafeteria. From the look on his face, you doubt that he regrets the fight that gave him his wounds.
By the time your old van rattles up to another Motel 6 at the outskirts of the city, Eddie’s shaking his head. “The car’s not gonna take much more than this. I need to give it a good look, maybe borrow a tool kit and give it a tune up.”
“Whatever you say, magic man,” you muse at him. “Let’s just sleep in a real bed tonight, huh?”
His head tilted back, he looks at you sideways with a lopsided smile. You can tell his face is still hurting, but he puts on a brave face and bats his eyelashes at you. “Sounds good to me, princess.”
His touch lingers on you more, now, than it did yesterday. His fingers grazing your forearm as you open the glass door to the motel office, his hand hovering over your lower back as you sign for the room. His arm slung over your shoulder as he follows you down to the room, twirling the key around his finger. 
“You think the A/C will work this time?” He asks you lightheartedly as he turns the key in the lock.
“Only one way to find out,” you return with the same warmth in your voice. If you from two days ago could hear yourself, and that ooey-gooey note of lovesickness in your voice, your past self might keel over and die. When did this happen? 
You drop your bag of clothes on the bench by the bathroom door. Eddie bangs around the A/C unit a bit, until something starts whirring, and he makes a gleeful noise.
“It’s aliiiiive!” He announces dramatically, emulating Dr. Frankenstein. You giggle as he leaps toward you, practically throwing you onto the bed in excitement. “We have cool air. We can actually wear clothes to bed tonight.”
“Yeah,” you sigh, not even trying to hide your disappointment at the thought. The best part of your last two mornings has been waking up to his naked body beside yours, warm and soft and littered with tattoos that you just can’t stop looking at. 
You mean, I won’t get to wake up to your skin on mine tomorrow? I won’t be able to pretend like I’m not staring at your dick and imagining all the things I want to do to it? How will I be able to admire you for my own perverted gain?
You don’t even realize that you’re stroking your fingers across his bruised cheek until he leans into your touch. Then you take inventory of your current position- your back to the mattress, his body hovering over you, half covering you. Caging you in with his arms. His long hair creates a veil around your faces. 
When he blinks his eyes open at you, you can tell where his mind is before he opens his mouth. “Did we have our first fight yesterday?”
You frown, a puff of air exiting your nose. “No, I think I’d call it laying ground rules.”  
“Ground rules,” Eddie nods, his sore cheek rubbing against your hand. You’re starting to wonder if he likes the pain, since he won’t stop pushing into it. “I’m not great at remembering rules. What were they, again?”
“No fighting.”
“Right, and no gambling.”
“No bars.”
He squints. “Is that one still up for negotiation, or…?” He trails off, giggling as you smack your hand lightly against his shoulder. “Kidding! I’m kidding. No bars. Got it.” 
“And that was it,” you tell him sweetly. “Unless there was another one you wanted to add?”
He stares at you for a long moment, his fingers twirling in the hair right beside your ear as he gets lost in thought. Say what you’re thinking, your mind practically screams at him. Please, god, say what we’re both thinking…
Eddie licks his lips and finally says, “No sleeping with clothes on?”
Gotcha. A creeping smile stretches your face, trying to play coy even when your heart’s beating a mile a minute. Eddie’s eyebrows raise at you, waiting for an answer. 
“I’m not easy, Eddie.”
“I know,” he tells you, mirroring your smile. “I don’t expect to get lucky with you.”
“I know,” you hum. Your hand drifts up the side of his torso, a more firm and languorous touch than you’d previously been brave enough to give him. “But do you want to?”
Eddie shudders, and it’s the first honest to god evidence you have that you turn him on as much as he does you. The realization feels rapturous. 
“God, yes.”
He kisses you then, open-mouthed and passionate, his hand cupping your jaw to keep you where he wants you. Your nails scratch up his back with a loud tearing sound against his shirt, and he chuckles as you frantically clutch at him with all your strength. 
“I know, pretty girl,” he murmurs, pecking your lips briefly before descending to bite at your jaw. “You’ve been wanting this since that first night. Feelin’ me up in the morning, like I wouldn’t notice…”
“I didn’t wanna wake you,” you hiccup as his hand cups the crotch of your jeans, rocking the meat of his palm firmly where you’re dying for friction. “Oh, ffffuck Eddie, m’sorry…”
“And here you were, thinking I was the pervert,” he grunts. “‘Least I can keep my hands to myself, hm?”
“I’m sorry, I’m s-sorry,” you babble at him, hands shaking as they grip onto his shoulders. Now that the aching throb between your legs is back, and he’s finally giving it attention, you can’t seem to come up with a more coherent sentence. Your face grows hot, but not at the fact that you’d been caught in your lechery- just because he turns you on more than you can think to admit.
“Don’t be sorry, sweet thing,” Eddie whispers. His dark eyes are lined up with yours, the curtain of his hair shielding them from reflecting any of the light from the desk lamp- it’s just you and the starry voids of space, locked in your own little world. He rubs his hand back and forth with practiced pressure against the front of your jeans, your hips kicking up against him. “I want you to touch me. Want you to do whatever you want with me, baby.” 
“Whatever I want?” Your fingers dragging up his lower back, under his shirt to feel the heat of his skin.
“Anything,” he insists, kissing you again. Wet and sloppy, teeth clacking as you grind up into his palm. Your thick denim jeans are about the most abominable things that have ever existed.
You feel like your head’s on sideways with how pent up you already are. “I want you to fuck me Eddie- jesus chr- can we do that? Right now? Please?” 
Eddie laughs. A happy, whole-hearted, almost disbelieving laugh. “Thought I was gonna be the one begging you, after all this…” His breath hitches, the touch of his hand leaving you so that he can push himself back. “Lemme get you out of these clothes, yeah?”
You nod quickly, earning a pleased hum from him. The way he undresses you is touched by reverence; his fingers slow as they drag the cotton of your shirt over your head, grazing your skin all the way. His lips dancing across your collarbone as he undoes the front of your stupid fucking jeans. You just want them off, done with and laying in a pile to be forgotten about by the motel room door, but Eddie has other plans. 
“Slow.” He grabs your hip to stop your wiggling, fingers curled around the back of the waistband of them as he pulls the denim down your thighs. “We’ve got all night, baby. I’m not leaving. Not going anywhere.” 
“I want you,” you insist desperately, sounding like a broken record. Your distress is evident on your face, in the way you clench your thighs together to hide the obnoxious wet spot growing on your cotton panties. You wonder if he’d felt it when he was touching you over your jeans, if the heat and dampness had soaked through the denim as well. You wouldn’t be surprised.
“You have me, sweetheart,” Eddie ensures. “Don’t… I don’t want you to worry about it. M’gonna make sure there are no worries in that pretty head.” 
He yanks his t-shirt off, the one you’d bought him from the resale store. A cloud of frizzy, dark hair obscures his pretty face for half a second, the shirt landing on the floor somewhere off to the side, and then Eddie’s eyes find you again, grinning at you widely with pointed teeth.
You grab for him, your fingers looping around the chain that hangs from his neck. Tugging him down, you press a gentle kiss to his lips. Then to his sore jaw, where a tiny scab has formed on the right side of his chin. Then to his bruised cheek, where he flutters his eyes shut and groans softly at the brush of your lips. 
“My boy,” you whisper to him, and you don’t even know if he understands the significance of it to you. His girl. Your boy.  
Eddie smiles against your skin. He peppers kisses everywhere he can reach, down onto your chest, dragging his sharp teeth every once in a while just to hear you keen. You’re certain you’ve ruined your underwear now, feeling the wetness grow cool against your skin. 
What a fucking concept. Cool air. 
Eddie seems to have the same thought as you, as he slips his fingers beneath the white cotton and peels them down your legs. Strings of your arousal stick to the wet fabric, dropping off in thick tendrils onto the sheets below you as he groans lowly.
“Fuck,” Eddie curses, shaking his head in chastisement as he settles between your legs at the end of the bed. He tsks, “Just look at you, poor thing. Should’a said something to me, can’t have you going around like this.”
You shiver as he trails his mouth up the inside of your thigh. His day-old stubble scrapes your sensitive skin, making you break out in a cold sweat. “M’not- I didn’t want you to think-”
“That you’re easy?” He coos with a condescending smile. “No, honey. I know, you’re a good girl.” He nips at the widest part of your thigh, plush flesh indenting with the imprint of his teeth. “But I’m no good. You should know that, better than anyone. No good for you.”
Eddie’s tongue burns and soothes at the same time, leaving your brain a scrambled mess on the mattress beneath you. He gathers all of your collected arousal into his mouth, groaning like he’s been desperate to taste it all this time. “Been dreaming of this since I saw you, pretty girl.” 
Pulling your leg over his bare shoulder, he all but crushes you against his face, his sturdy hands wrapped around your hips to hold you still. Your back arched, your hips fully off the bed as he lifts your lower half into the air.
You choke out the first part of his name, your hands fisting in the comforter next to your head. There’s a twist of pleasure deep in your core that makes you whine far louder than necessary, a waterfall of words spilling from you before you can stop them, “Oh shit- Ed- I don’t- s’too good-”
“Too good?” Eddie snickers, eyes bright as he watches you from between your thighs. “Nothing's too good for you.” 
Then he spits onto your already soaked and swollen pussy. You sob, positively crying from the feeling of it, drenched and dripping along your sensitive flesh. Eddie spreads the wetness around with his tongue, and your cunt clamps down hard at the lewd squelch of it, the mortifying slurp of his lips closing down and sucking on your labia. 
“Oh fuck, what the fuck-” you whimper high to the ceiling, mouth hanging open in shock. 
You could have been doing this for days. He could have fucked you like this the first night, when you lay next to him, naked in the dark. Your body aches at the thought of being deprived of this longer than necessary.
“That’s it, baby, just stay still. Let me ruin you, huh?” Eddie murmurs, letting your thigh rest heavy on his shoulder so that he can move one hand, his thumb rubbing tight circles on your clit in front of his face. He watches your cunt glisten and throb for him, listening to your desperate sobs echo through the otherwise silent room, and whispers, “Shit. Like my own little fuckin’ pornstar, sweetheart.” 
Normally, you wouldn’t exactly take that as a compliment- but with the way he says it, with his voice thick and dark like that, and with the way the hot, slick velvet of his tongue dips into your channel and shoots electricity along your skin, you figure he must have meant it like one. 
He goes slow, thrusting into you gently, taking his time to get familiar between your legs. Still, it doesn’t stop you from positively shrieking toward the ceiling when he licks you from hole to clit, the entire expanse of his tongue sweeping along nerve endings that are charged like live wires. 
Eddie chuckles, hot breath spilling out over your feverish skin, and he pauses there. Lets you feel the warm press of his flattened tongue before he just barely rubs it back and forth, back and forth-
“Eddie-!?” You gasp, an erotically loud moan spilling out of your mouth right before you come all over his. You crumble, your hips threatening to buck out of his steady grip as searing euphoria rips through you. He scrambles, ringed fingers locking tight enough on your waist to bruise, keeping you against him as you thrash wildly. 
He keeps you like that for a long time, purring into your spasming pussy while an array of unhinged noises pour from your body- your mouth, your hands tearing at the sheets and at your head, your cunt and all its wet filth drenching Eddie’s bruised face. 
If it hurts him, he doesn’t let on. He just keeps going, and going.
Until something pounds against the wall behind your head. You hiccup, your dazed, post-orgasm brain unable to comprehend where the sound is coming from. That wasn’t- couldn’t have been me…
“Pretty sounds,” Eddie giggles as he finally pulls his mouth away from you. “Guess the neighbors agree.”
“Oh, god.” Your hands cover your face, hot and sticky with sweat. Your eyes feel heavy, fuck-drunk, your heart still pounding in your chest from the adrenaline of the orgasm Eddie gave you. You feel embarrassed, like you ought to be going over to apologize to whatever sorry person happens to be sharing a wall with you, now.
Eddie has other plans. “Think we should give the audience a good show, huh?”
It’s merely a suggestion- you know that you could always find a way to quiet yourself, stuff your mouth with cotton and stifle your moans- but the implication of it makes your toes curl. Your breath rattles in your chest when you inhale. “You… you want everyone in the building to hear you fucking me?”
Eddie crowds you on the bed, your legs still slung over his shoulders so that you’re bent nearly in half. He’s still too fucking clothed for your liking- his leather belt digs into the back of your thighs as he presses a sloppy kiss to your dry lips. “I want everyone here to know you’re mine, sweetheart.”
Your hands cradle his face, pulling him in for a deeper kiss as he slowly lowers your legs from his shoulders. Your over extended legs flop down onto the mattress, and you whine into his mouth as he massages his tongue with yours.
“I’m yours, Eddie,” you moan against his damp skin. “Oh god, I want it- want everyone to know.”
You take the initiative, with one last kiss turning in his grip. His hand slips, catching himself from toppling off the bed as you scoot onto your stomach, your knees planting on the mattress so that you can wiggle your hips up at him. 
Eddie sucks in a sharp breath, smoothing a gentle palm over your ass before he kisses your lower back. He pauses, drawing soft kisses up your spine until his breath sweeps your shoulder blade. “You’re so beautiful. How’d I get so fucking lucky?”
A quiet keen is the only answer you give him, shoving your hips backward to get him to just fucking touch you, but he pulls away too quickly. There’s the clink of a belt buckle, a zipper being pulled, and you tense, your hand closing into a fist around the pillow at the head of the bed. Following the rustle of clothes, you hear the crinkle of a condom wrapper- you hadn’t even realized he had one. It didn’t even occur to you, in your dizzying need to fuck him, like some loveblind idiot.
You almost berate yourself for it, but then you feel his cock press against your entrance, and all those thoughts die away. He rolls his hips, and every single muscle in you tightens.
Eddie chokes on air as pleasure positively tears through you. Your eyes roll back, your mouth wide open and threatening to drool onto the pillow you’ve been shoved face-first into. 
“F-fuck, you’re so big.” It’s the only thing you can choke out around moans. He splits you so wide, dragging through your slick walls that are still so sensitive from your first orgasm. 
“Holy shi- oh my god-” he gasps behind you. “M’so sorry- I can’t- Feels so fucking good-”  
You groan, unable to form words to adequately answer him. All you can manage to do is jam your hips backward in an attempt to get him deeper, as far as he can fucking go inside you. Your body blazes, everything coming up smelling of sex and sweat as you wail hopelessly into the pillow.
Eddie snarls, a deep and dangerous noise in the back of his throat as he draws his hips back and presses into you again. There’s no time for you to adjust, each thrust a little more forceful than the last. His cock hits sharp heaven deep inside you, punching loud and guttural moans from you each time his hips impact your ass. 
“That’s a good girl- so ffffucking wet, goddamnit,” Eddie praises you through clenched teeth, ringed fingers and bruised knuckles wrapping loosely around your neck to lift your head from the pillow. “Let them hear all those pretty noises for me, baby.”
“Eddie…” You hiccup, your voice kicked up into a shrill whine. You swallow against the press of his fingers on your throat, holding your jaw into the air so there’s no place for your sounds to go but to the wall and through it. 
Above your head, the banging on the wall starts back up. Eddie drops your chin and slams his hand on top of the headboard, gripping tightly at plywood that threatens to hit the wall as he ruts into you. Your face hits the pillow again, but your sobbing moans still come out loud and disruptive as Eddie speeds up his hips in retaliation. 
“Doing so good f’me. Feel me, princess? So fucking deep,” Eddie groans. His cock licks up a sweet heat inside of you, and you know you’re going to come. He curses lowly, his hips pistoning into yours hard enough that you have to smack your hand into the headboard to keep from knocking into it. “Taking me so well. So perfect- s’like you were made for me, I know it, I just fucking know it…”
Eddie’s arm wraps around your waist from behind, and he hauls your back into his sweat-slick chest. You almost feel weightless, for a moment, before you’re settled back into his lap, your thighs bracketing his as he kneels beneath you, clutching you against him. 
A gasp tears from your mouth with a loud, “Shit!” His cock hits a different spot inside you, bursting color behind your closed eyelids as you throw your head back against his shoulder.
Eddie’s breath fans across your neck, sweat-damp hair tickling the side of your face. His hand greedily palms at your breasts, bouncing you in his lap as his tongue traces a wet line along your shoulder. 
“Just know you were made for me,” Eddie repeats quietly in your ear, his breath feeling like flames on your neck. “That’s why you found me, baby. You were meant to be mine, my girl.”
His girl.
“Yours, Eddie,” you blubber, reaching back to dig a fist into his hair as his hands squeeze your breasts. “M’all yours.”
“Yeah?” Eddie murmurs, his voice saccharine and velvety. He moans in your ear when your cunt clenches down, a threatening throb at the outskirts of your orgasm. “Say it again.”
A whimper, high and needy in your throat. “I’m yours. Your girl- oh, f-fuck, Eddie- I’m gonna-” 
“That’s right. My good girl. Only easy when it comes to me, right?” 
Eddie’s hand drags purposefully down, fingernails dragging just through your pubic hair, just barely grazing where you want him- just like you did to him, that first morning. The realization makes you seize up, all tense from head to toe. 
“What’s it like, when I do it to you? You like it?” He whispers, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. You suck in a sharp breath, a hiss through your teeth as you nod. His laugh is barely a ghost of a breath on your skin. “Yeah. I did, too.”
Eddie’s voice in your ear says, “Come for me,” and not even a fraction of you would deny him that.
His finger drags slowly your clit, calloused skin catching on the swollen bud, and you come. Your body slumps against him, and you’re so grateful for his arms around you to hold you through it. You’d swear he was splitting you in half with the sounds coming from your mouth. Your head tilted back on his shoulder, every breath is punctuated by a hoarse cry that breaks in your throat. Your hand clamps around his arm, which is still cradling you close to his chest as his own moans ring in your ear, his hips driving up into you as your cunt pulses around his cock. You know that he comes when his teeth wrap around the muscle of your shoulder and bite down.
Silence settles over your sweaty bodies, but thunderous banging is still furiously happening on the other side of the wall. You hear voices, words too muffled by the drywall to be intelligible, but they still sound angry.
Eddie won’t let you go, not yet. He’s clutching you, his mouth still wrapped around your shoulder, even though his teeth aren’t biting anymore. You pet his forearm, and lean forward just enough to knock lightly on the wall.
“We’re done!” Your voice cracks with the effort it takes to call out to the people on the other side.
“Fantastic show, my love. I think we deserve five stars.” Eddie laughs, nuzzling his face into your neck as he finally releases your shoulder from the trappings of his jaw. “I think I’m corrupting you, sweetheart.”
You hum, still petting his arm. “I think you already have, teddy.” 
Eddie freezes, his grip on your waist tightening just a little. “No one’s called me that since I was a kid.”
“What, teddy?” He nods. Your fingernails drag dully down his arm, tracing over a tattoo of a swarm of bats, which breaks out in goosebumps under your touch. “Is that… Can I call you that?”
“Yeah,” he rasps. “Yeah, you can- you can call me teddy.”
It’s quiet after that. He rocks you in his arms until you kiss his knuckles and lift yourself gingerly from his lap, earning a pacified grunt from him as his softened cock slides out of you. You watch him as he ties off the condom and tosses it in the wastebasket a few feet away, then flops backward onto the bed so that his head hits the pillows. 
You chuckle, sliding forward to run your hands along his stomach. “Honey, you still have your pants on.”
He hadn’t taken them completely off, only pushed them down far enough to free his cock and have at you. What’s more, he still has his boots on, too- big, black motorcycle things that nearly hang off the end of the bed. 
Eddie grunts dismissively. “C’n deal with it in the morning.”
“No sleeping with clothes on.”
He huffs petulantly, but the scowl he tries to give you turns into a lovesick grin pretty quick. He tucks his hand behind his head in mock-nonchalance. “Hey, pretty lady. You come here often?”
“Once or twice, so far.” You grin at him as he laughs, rolling your eyes as you move down the bed to finish undressing him. You untie his boots and let them fall with his jeans and boxers onto the floor at the end of the bed, glancing up at him once you’re finished.
His eyes are closed. You don’t think he’s sleeping yet, but he’s flushed, covered in sweat. He’s still so much of an enigma to you, but you adore him. You’re enamored with him. 
You crawl slowly up the length of his body, feline-like in your movements. You appraise his tattoos, smoothing your hands over them as you go. You lean down and press featherlight kisses across his beautiful, bruised face. 
Eddie cracks his eyes open at you with an inquisitive smirk, just barely puckering his lips to kiss you back when you land one on them. “Feeling me up again, sweetheart?” 
You hum, kissing his chest. “You’re hot.” It’s the only explanation you afford him. And once he’s shut his eyes again, you carefully move down his body, peppering kisses across his naked torso.
“What’re you-?” He twitches when you drag your tongue over his cock, still wet and salty with his cum. He groans as you slowly lift it, suckling on the head gently. “Oh… Sweetheart, m’not… I don’t think I can-”
“I’m just cleaning you up, teddy,” you tell him gently. “S’okay. You can go to sleep.”
He hums tiredly, his hand lifting to run through your hair, stroking tenderly against the back of your head. “My girl just can’t keep her hands off, huh?”
“Not a chance,” you tell him, giving him another slow lick. “You’re just too fucking pretty, Eds.”
“And you’re too fuckin’ perfect.” Eddie only really falls asleep after he comes again.
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I’m never gonna leave you, baby, even if you lose what’s left of your mind…
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A few days later, the car breaks down in Colorado Springs.
It had been acting up for a while, of course. Even though you enjoyed watching Eddie when he was bent over the open hood, bare arms sweaty and streaked with grease in the afternoon heat, you knew it ultimately wasn’t going to end well. 
Each time Eddie tinkered with it, more and more concerning things came to light. “One of your cylinders misfired,” he said one time, shaking his head. He’d insisted on driving it from that point on. Another, “The fucking spark plug has gone out. We have to get a new one.” That was $75 you didn’t have to spare.
You guess the car had just fucking had it when you got to Colorado. You went to start it up at a truck stop, and the whole thing just sputtered and coughed at you, and then you didn’t have an engine anymore.
After Eddie paced around and cursed about it for a couple minutes, you both crawled into the back of the van and locked the door. And now you sit cross-legged across from each other, with everything of value that you have to your name in a little pile in front of you.
When you left home, you’d saved up a couple thousand to live off of until you got somewhere you felt comfortable working and living in. Since then, you’ve squandered it on food and motels and gas, never staying put and now rambling along with Eddie.
From the ATM, Eddie had stolen around two thousand dollars. He’s in the same boat as you, now looking at only a couple hundred in between the two of you. Hardly enough to afford a hotel room or bus fare for the both of you. Certainly not enough to get you a new car, or even rent one.
He scrubs his hands down his face, dirty fingernails pressing into his skin. “You should take it.”
“What?” You squint at him. 
“There’s enough here for bus fare for you, at least,” Eddie murmurs, his fingers poking at the pile and scooting it toward you. “Getcha where you want to go. Get a nice job at a tourist shop in Vegas or Santa Monica or something.”
“Are you fucking kidding me, Eddie?” you snap. You swat his hand away from the pile, looking affronted. “I’m not taking the money, so cut it out. We’ll figure something else out.”
Eddie shakes his head, like he’s already made up his mind. “We had a deal. I fix your car, you take me with you. And I didn’t fix your car.”
“Yeah, but that was before…” you trail off, scrutinizing his expression. He won’t meet your gaze. He won’t look at you. 
Eddie’s mouth opens and closes like he’s a fish out of water. Then, he says bitingly, “Before we fucked?” 
You can feel all the emotion drain from your face, leaving you a blank, hollow screen with dead eyes just staring at him. It’s your best defense against bursting into tears at the very tone of his voice. 
When he glances at you, you can tell that he wants to take it back immediately. His teeth worry his bottom lip, ripping at chapped shreds of skin. “Don’t do me any favors, sweetheart.”
“It’s not a fucking favor- I thought we were doing this together.”
Eddie talks over you. “You don’t need to keep dragging me around with you, okay? You’re off the hook.”
“Eddie, you’re being mean,” you croak at him. Not exactly the quick, biting wit that you can usually whip out- he’s shocked you.
He drops his eyes, his hands squeezing his knees. “Yeeeah,” he grumbles, his fingers tapping sporadically against his denim jeans. “Well, I told you, I’m no good for you. You didn’t listen.”
You told me that while your tongue was in my pussy. The words are balanced on the edge of your teeth, but they won’t fall out. Your hands itch to reach out for him, grab his chin and force him to look at you, somehow. 
Instead, they snatch up the little bit of cash from your side of the pile in between you. You crumple it in your hand and shove the wad into your jacket pocket before you grab the strap of your weather-beaten backpack full of the last things you have to your name, and kick open the back door of the van. 
It’s summer, but it’s windy in Colorado. It must be something about the mountains, you guess, and it being early morning. Condensation hangs in the air, making the air both heavy and cool as you breathe. Funny- if you slept naked, you’d probably have to curl up into each other for warmth, for a change. 
You’re either vibrating from rage or from the abnormal chill in the air. Standing on the street corner with the gas station sign lit up in neon behind you, you kick the crosswalk pole with your dirty converse. You’re still arguing with him, in your head. We were in this together, motherfucker. I told you, I’m your girl. I put all my eggs in your basket. Whatever fucking martyr complex this is, you can shove it right up your stupid-
“I know.” Eddie’s tattooed arms wrap around your waist and pull you into his chest, his face buried in your hair as he whispers urgently into it. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
So, you weren’t arguing with him in your head. You were actually yelling everything you were thinking, and he chased you as you stormed off. Seems about par for the course. 
“Fuck you, Eddie, did it even mean anything to you?” you blather at him, your voice thick with impending tears. “‘Cause it meant something to me.”
“Course it did,” he rasps at you, his arms squeezing you to him so tight that you’re running out of air to breathe. “I didn’t- I was being shitty. I’m sorry. Please, don’t leave.”
“Then don’t push me away.” The tears collect in your lashes, finally dripping down your cheeks. You turn in his arms and whack your hand flat against his chest. “Don’t treat me like some slut, don’t- I didn’t sleep with you just because I wanted you to fix my fucking car, you jerk.”
“I don’t think that,” Eddie insists quietly, wiping your tears away with his thumbs. “C’mon, now.”
“You said-”
“I know what I said,” he cuts you off. “And I didn’t mean it. I have a bad habit of throwing away the good things in my life, ‘cause… ‘cause of that martyr complex, you said-” He jams his tongue against the roof of his mouth when you hiccup, staring up at him with a wobbly lip. “Don’t let me throw you away. You’re the best thing I’ve ever had, ‘n I don’t wanna lose you just because I’m an idiot.”
You sigh, your head falling neatly into the crook of his neck like it’s meant to be there. He’s too quiet, holding you against him at the street corner. Eddie breathes in deep and kisses the side of your head longingly. 
“I can get us a car.”
You lift your head to look at him. He wears a disappointed expression. “But we don’t have any money.”
“It won’t take money,” Eddie mumbles as he strokes your back. “I, uh… I didn’t want to end up like my old man, but…” he shrugs, his eyes cast away from you. He chuckles sadly. “Nothin’ I can do about that, now, I guess. I mean, look how you met me.” 
Oh. You can infer what he means by the far-off look on his face, like he’s resigned himself to his fate. You lift your hands to cradle his face; the bruise on his cheekbone has faded to yellow, the scab on his chin almost healed. He’s never looked more beautiful to you.
“You’re a good man, Eddie,” you tell him sternly.
Eddie’s smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Don’t be too sure of that. You might change your mind.”
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‘Cause you know I’ll be right there beside you, riding through all these western nights…
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The sedan isn’t exactly flashy, or new. It’s a tin can on wheels that’ll crumble into bits if you so much as side-swipe a trash can. You keep a lookout as Eddie jimmies an unwound wire coat hanger between the glass window and the door, and a second later the door is unlocked.
You’re unnervingly calm. How did you get to be so calm about all this? Stealing money, driving getaway cars, stealing other cars when those ones don’t work. Suddenly an accomplice to whatever illegal shit has to happen for you to get where you’re going.
What’s worse, you think, is how badly the sight of him hotwiring the car turns you on. It’s practically horrifying the way your skin crawls and your core burns as you watch his hands fiddle with the wires beneath the console, so quick that your mind can barely process it. You’re not sure if the adrenaline in your veins is from looking to see if anyone’s coming, or if it’s because you want to jump his bones.
"I swear to you," he's saying as he swipes at frayed wires, "I swear, when we get to San Francisco, I'll never- I'm gonna get an honest, real fuckin' job, I'm not gonna do anything to hurt yo-"
The car starts, and you leap into the front seat without giving it any more thought. “Eddie?”
“Yeah, sweetheart?” He looks up at you, his brows tilted up expectantly. He’s still tucking wires back under the dashboard, preparing to take off once he gets the door shut.
“I slept with you because I’m falling in love with you.”
Eddie’s eyes go wide as moons, glittering in the light of a fluorescent floodlight at the corner of the dark parking lot. 
“You don’t have to love me back,” you tell him honestly. “I just wanted you to know. I’m with you. And I’m not gonna leave.”
You don’t know if he loves you back- not yet, anyways. He doesn’t say it to you. But he kisses you like he does.
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I'll be screaming your name past the gas stations, trailing down the interstate. Please don’t love how I need you, and know that one day, you and I could be okay.
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1K notes · View notes
valeriianz · 18 days
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8 for the smutty thingy? 👀
(vroom vroom wheel wheeel gasoline vroom vroom speed speed 🏍️🏍️🏍️wuuuuuuu)
*arrives 9 months late, crawling out of the floorboards covered in blood* hi 🌼i hope you like this lol
from a prompt list: A and B are on a motorcycle trip. The constant movement, vibration and touching is getting them excited.
--------------------------
Dream curses under his breath, nearly tripping over his long legs as he slows from a run to a miserable walk, exhaling a loud groan of misery as he watches the bus take off from the stop he had meant to be at just two minutes ago.
Checking his watch, Dream wonders about ordering an Uber, or telling his date he’d be 20 minutes late. He wonders if that’s kosher; arriving late to a second date. Being late to a first date was more unforgivable– first impressions and all that, and Dream had been punctual then. 
Before he can truly overthink it, Dream decides maybe 20 minutes wouldn’t be the end of the world; he can wait for the next bus.
He’s walking back to his apartment, a block away, drafting the apology text in his mind, when he spots his downstairs neighbor coming out of his building. 
Dream unconsciously combs a hand through his hair just as the man looks up, spots Dream, and smiles.
“Hey, neighbor.”
“Hello,” Dream greets back. He’s still a little out of breath and he can almost feel the flush high on his cheekbones from the sprint he’d just attempted.
His neighbor– Hob, his name is Hob– gives Dream a brief once-over as he closes the distance between them.
“Miss your bus?” He rolls a large motorcycle helmet around and around in his hands.
Dream watches him, finally coming to a stop before Hob, just outside their apartment building.
“Yeah. How did you know?”
Hob shrugs, looking down at his helmet. “I saw you leaving.”
Dream blinks. You were watching me?
He hadn’t seen Hob as he raced down the stairs, his light jacket fluttering behind him as he tore around the corner and feebly tried to chase down the moving bus. So it makes Dream curious… if Hob watched him as much as Dream did.
Hob’s main mode of transportation was his motorcycle. The sound of it roaring to life, Hob revving the throttle, became a sort of pavlovian response in Dream. He’d rush to the window as soon as he’d hear it start, nearly pressing his nose to the glass (or opening the window altogether) just to catch a glimpse of Hob tearing out into the street. Sometimes Dream would be lucky, and catch Hob just as he exited the building, watching how the man would swing one strong leg over the large bike, settling himself in, getting comfortable.
It was Dream’s biggest guilty pleasure, watching Hob on his bike. There was something inherently erotic about the whole thing; Hob mounting his bike in his torn jeans and leather jacket. Dream could almost feel his grip on the handlebars, his fingers through Hob’s hair as he slicked it back to slip his helmet on. It felt so silly, getting excited over something as mundane as sitting on a bike. And it probably would have been… if Hob wasn’t anything but mundane.
Hob had carved out a home in Dream’s subconscious from the moment they met.
It had been when Dream was moving in. It was a hot summer day and unfortunately the building didn’t have an elevator, which meant multiple trips up and down the stairs, lugging boxes and directing his sister, Dee, how to turn the couch around a corner. Dream felt his legs starting to protest in earnest not 15 minutes into going up and down three flights of stairs. Coupled with the August heat, he had felt himself getting delusional as well. It was the only excuse why, on his ninth, tenth, or twentieth trip back up the stairs, with a heavy box of books in his hands, Dream kicked open the door to his apartment– wondering why Dee had shut it– and halted in the doorway.
The first thing Dream had seen was a large flatscreen TV, potted plants everywhere, a huge black leather couch, and a shirtless man on the floor.
Judging by the rock music that was playing, and the man’s position on the floor– on a mat– he had been working out.
And Dream had stared, the fact that this wasn’t his apartment hadn’t yet entered his muddled brain. So what he blurted out was,
“Do you come with the apartment?”
The man on the floor– sweaty, tan skin, hair everywhere, oh my god– rearranged himself to sit on his butt with his hands flat on the floor, an easy smile on his handsome face.
Then Dream’s words came back to him, making him flush from his hairline all the way to his shaking fingers still clutching the box against his chest.
“Wrong apartment,” the gorgeous, half-naked man said, his eyes were chocolate brown and so warm. “2F. You’re right above me.” He helpfully pointed a finger up to his ceiling.
“Right…” Dream eloquently said. His arms were beginning to shake from the strain. “Sorry. Uh…”
Suddenly the stranger, his new neighbor, was standing and making his way to Dream. A broad chest and corded biceps commanding all his attention and wiping Dream’s brain clean.
“Would you like a hand with that?” He gestured to the box and, before Dream could say no, thank you. I am perfectly capable of carrying my own items into my home, the man gently moved his hands under the box.
Dream allowed him to take it, his shoulders sagging in relief. The man nudged his head.
“Lead the way?”
As easy as that. The man introduced himself as Robert “But you can call me Hob, all my friends do,” said with a wink and a grin. Dee had given Dream sideways looks the rest of the afternoon, pleased with the additional help and all too aware of the besotted glimmer in her brother’s eyes.
It’s only been a few months since then, the humid summer heat transitioning blessedly into crisp, cool autumn and giving Dream plenty of time to get over his silly little crush on his downstairs neighbor.
Except that… he’s pretty sure Hob likes him, too.
“You were watching me?” Dream says aloud, deciding, fuck it. He was feeling bold today.
Hob laughs guiltily, ducking his head.
“Maybe,” his smile morphs into a grin. “Where are you headed? I can give you a ride.”
Dream’s heart trips in his chest, hope curling around his stomach and kicking up a swarm of butterflies.
This is not the first time Hob’s offered Dream a ride on his bike. Dream always declines, nerves getting the better of him but also, he truly had a fear of motorbikes. And he would always let Hob know, too, how “that thing is a death trap,” before turning the corner to wait at his usual bus stop.
Dream had never been on a motorcycle in his life and truly had no interest in starting now. Except… he does have an interest.
In Hob, specifically.
So, taking a breath to steel himself, Dream at last nods, his own lips cracking into a wide smile at the baffled look that passes across Hob’s face.
“What?”
Hob laughs softly, shy. Dream could lose himself in that laugh, it never sounded condescending or cruel… just always full of joy and ease. 
“Just happy that you finally said yes.”
Something swoops in Dream’s stomach. Elated but also a flicker of anxiety creeping up his spine over what he’d just signed up for. Not only facing one of his biggest fears, but also realizing that he’ll be wrapped around Hob, on his bike, finally able to feel how warm he would be against his chest and between his legs…
“Wait right here,” Hob’s smile is dazzling now. “Let me grab another helmet.”
Dream waits. He takes out his phone, staring at the contact for the man he’s meeting up with, and considers canceling. It would be rude, especially with such short notice. But Dream can’t deny how utterly atrocious company he’ll be, thinking about Hob the entire time.
Before Dream can make a decision, the heavy front door to the building slams shut and Dream looks up to see Hob jogging down the stairs, making his way back to Dream and tossing him a helmet.
Dream barely manages to catch it, the reality of the situation settling into his bones and suddenly freezing him to the spot.
“You look nice by the way,” Hob shoots the compliment easily, smiling as he walks past Dream to where his bike is parked at the curb just a few steps down the sidewalk. “Where are you headed?”
Dream’s legs move on autopilot, following Hob and swallowing his unease.
“Uh, Verona’s. On Main street.”
There’s a brief hesitation in the way Hob turns towards Dream once they reach his bike, his eyes flickering with something Dream isn’t able to parse.
“Oh. The Italian restaurant?”
Dream nods and he doesn’t miss how a thoughtful expression crosses Hob’s handsome face, his brows creasing slightly before he turns again, touching the handlebars before he resigns himself to something and swings a leg over the bike’s seat.
He scoots up slightly. 
“C’mon.” Hob slips the helmet over his head, obscuring his visage and turning halfway to pat the seat behind him. It’s a large bike, and there’s plenty of room for Dream to swallow his nerves and shove his own helmet on and slip onto the seat.
The helmet is tight, but not uncomfortably so. Dream can hear himself breathe, which brings attention to how terrified he is, his heart rate drumming wildly.
“Closer,” Hob pats Dream’s knee and then his side. “Don’t get self conscious on me now.” His tone is light, cheery. Probably to ease the worry of Dream being a passenger on a motorized death sentence. 
Dream holds his breath as he slips down the seat, nestling his crotch against Hob’s ass and pressing his chest into his back. Fuck, fuck, fuck–
“Arms around me,” Hob instructs, seemingly unaffected by Dream’s shaking hands ensnaring around his middle.
Dream does as instructed, wondering if Hob can hear how his nerves are screaming in a frightening mix of arousal and trepidation.
He doesn’t watch how Hob starts the bike, suddenly it’s just on. Igniting with a roar and an idle sputtering that makes the entire vehicle vibrate and makes alarm bells shriek in Dream’s ears. He tightens his grip around Hob, arms and legs.
Dream thinks he feels Hob chuckle. 
“Hold on tight.”
Dream does not need to be told twice.
Hob’s leg kicks back, his wrist flicks gently and he’s pulling out of his parking spot, his head on a swivel as he checks behind him and front, before the engine truly snarls to life and lunges into the street.
Dream squeezes Hob’s middle as their speed increases, his head pointed down against Hob’s shoulder as he fights down the urge to scream. Hob is so warm and firm in his embrace, and Dream can feel the wind whipping past him, the motorbike vibrating under him, and the muffled sounds of the motor in his thick helmet.
It’s exhilarating, and terrifying. Dream gasps loudly as they make a turn, his grip on Hob becoming impossibly tighter as they zip through traffic.
“You alright back there?” Hob yells, his helmet turning slightly.
“K-keep your eyes on the road!” Dream shrieks. 
Hob laughs, his head facing forward again. The sound of Hob’s laughter, even muted by their helmets and the wind, compels Dream to relax. He takes a chance to lift his head, watching the scenery speed by, and bit by bit Dream unwinds, breathing in through his nose and out his mouth. He focuses again on Hob, how comfortably Dream fits against his backside, how calm and loose he is operating the bike, as if having a human-sized constrictor crushing his sternum and thighs is nothing.
Dream takes a deep breath, his pulse jumping as they hit a bump and his crotch unintentionally pushes against Hob’s ass (which, now that Dream is calming down, he’s able to notice how softly and teasingly it cushions his narrow hips). He turns his head, resting the side of his helmet against Hob’s shoulder as he unclenches his fingers from Hob’s jacket and instead carefully slips his hands inside of it. His hands still shake slightly, but the warmth from Hob’s body– prominent even through his shirt and the cool wind– eradicate that tingling feeling in his knuckles from gripping for too long.
Dream exhales, his eyes fluttering shut as he gives his trust completely to Hob. There is still that flicker of fear, but as the minutes drag on, Dream becomes used to the bike. 
And, unfortunately– Dream feels himself flush– he is aroused. 
It is easier to focus on how embarrassingly flustered he swiftly becomes, his breathing coming out shaky and labored, his cock taking interest now in Hob’s plump ass, even between two layers of jeans. The bumps in the road and the vibrating seat certainly don’t help.
Before he knows it, Hob is slowing, and when Dream opens his eyes, they are at the restaurant.
Dream blinks. He had forgotten that he was going on a date. And not with Hob.
“Here you are,” Hob announces, bending a leg out to prop up the bike.
“Ah, thank you…” Dream coughs slightly and swallows. He does not untangle himself from Hob. He feels his neck heat up as, all at once, he realizes he’s hard.
He wonders if Hob can feel it, he certainly brings no attention to it. Doesn’t shove him off or give any further indication of their current location.
“You, ah… are you meeting someone?”
The bike is idling, their helmets still on, so Hob has to raise his voice, and it makes Dream flinch. But he doesn’t take off his helmet. Or move. He merely nods. Hob somehow catches it in his peripheral.
“Shit, I’m sorry.” He shakes his head and Dream’s stomach clenches.
“What’s wrong?”
Hob laughs, but it’s not the usual carefree laugh that Dream so often thinks about, fantasizes about hearing late at night, alone in his bed, taking himself apart to visions of Hob smiling and laughing and moaning in delight as he touches Dream all over–
“I had no idea you were– you know– taken.” His voice is quiet, guarded. “Wouldn’t have been so obvious.” His fingers clench around the handlebars. “Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”
Uncomfortable? Ah… something lights up within Dream, a surge of confidence rushing through his veins. 
“I am not uncomfortable,” Dream says simply. He takes a steadying breath and tightens his hold around Hob, his fingers digging into his ribs and– throwing caution to the wind– cants his hips up just enough to bring attention to his erection pressed against Hob’s ass.
Dream can hear the sharp catch in Hob’s breath even through the helmet.
“And you weren’t being ‘obvious.’ If you were, I would have taken the opportunity to make my interests known much sooner.”
A hand covers one of Dream’s, making his breath hitch. Hob’s head turns to look over his shoulder.
“Then who is waiting for you?” He inclines his head towards the restaurant.
“No one.” It might be cruel, but Dream realizes there is no one else he’d rather be with at the very moment. He doesn’t want to wait a moment longer now that he knows the longing in his chest is reciprocated. Dream wants to keep the man in his arms and never let him go.
Dream squeezes his thighs around Hob and hooks his chin over Hob’s shoulder, their helmets tapping together. 
“Take me home, Hob.”
Dream can feel how Hob’s breathing has picked up, his back flexing against Dream’s chest as he wastes no time in retracting his foot from the ground and speeding back towards home.
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leandra-winchester · 5 months
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The Tommy timeline is making me insane
We know the 911 writers are REALLY crap about timelines. I mean, just within the Eddie Begins episode there are several dates that just don't add up. I love those writers, but they can't even count to 10, lol.
Tommy was never supposed to come back, so him being in his late 20s-ish in 2005 when Chim joins the 118 was of no consequence, but now that Tommy is back, that makes it really difficult to say how old he really is.
Some people have speculated that he's 45, but I find that too old. Lou was born in Nov 1984, which makes him 39 currently. I could see Tommy being 1-2 years older than that AT MOST.
So let's say Tommy was born in early 1983 and go from there.
He would have started school at 6.5 and finished HS at 18 years old in 2001. Which means he could have joined the army that year and started training to be a helicopter pilot.
There's a program called "From Street to Seat", also sometimes called "High school to Flight School", so that is a possibility. Training would have been around 2 - 2.5 years until he'd achieved the rank of Warranty Officer and be a fully trained helicopter pilot in late 2003. After that, you have to enlist for TEN years at minimum to repay them getting you through flight school.
At that point, the US had entered the war in Afghanistan and just started the one in Iraq.
Tommy could have been stationed anywhere in the US, or been deployed to one of those countries, or at first, as a still very young officer, been deployed to an allied country like Germany. In the early 2000s, there were many bases in Germany where US soldiers were stationed, only serving short missions in Afghanistan or Iraq. So that's an option if we don't want him to be permanently stationed inside a war zone.
Now, how did young Tommy leave the army early so he ended up being a firefighter just two years later?
Well, there's always medical discharge, but if it was for any injury, him already being a member of the team (and by the looks of it no longer a probie) in 2005 is a bit tight. He'd have to recover from his injury, then apply, then be accepted, do the basic training at the academy (18 weeks) and his probie year... so yeah, that's really a very tight timeline.
Another option would have been Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Back then, army members could not be actively asked if they're gay and therefore fired for it, but if they voluntarily disclosed/confirmed it, they would be kicked out.
If he was lucky (and probably the version I'm going for in my fic), and had a very lenient superior officer, he might be offered medical discharge for depression. Usually, that can get you out of the army pretty quickly.
So, to recap:
Born between Jan/June 1983
Finished high school summer 2001, joined the army
Finished flight school in fall 2003, was deployed somewhere or in service in the US
Found out/discharged in early 2004
Started LAFD academy in summer/fall 2004
Started his probie year end of 2004
Just finished it when Chimney joined in (should be late) 2005, at now 22 years old.
Still an incredibly tight timeline, and I wish Chim joining had been more like 2007 or so, but alas. It works.
You are welcome.
And I need to lie down. God I hate inconsistent timelines, lol.
Oh and I just looked it up, and apparently you're only a probie for 6 months at the LAFD, so I guess that makes it a little easier.
I mean, if you shift things around a little, you could even make him only 40 now, born in summer 1983 instead of early. Maybe he was initially gifted and able to enroll in school at just barely 6 years old.
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charlieslowartsies · 9 months
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FINISHED MY TOOTHLESS PLUSH!!
Materials, info and some comments under the RM!
Toothless' Pattern I purchased
Materials: 6 yards of black minky 1 yard red minky 5 yards of Poly-Fil extra loft medium quilt batting 18 oz of poly pellets (4 oz in each foot) 2 Mainstay firm bed pillows for stuffing 1 spool of purple thread for the top stitching details on his tail, hip and main wings 2.5 spools of black thread Dark green, lime green, goldenrod and light yellow embroidery floss black acrylic paint white fabric paint Velcro one very old, small and cranky sewing machine who somehow survived this ordeal several comfort shows, podcasts, and music to listen to
This was my winter break project! Granted I started bits and pieces of the process in early December, but once my two weeks off hit he really started getting worked on lol.
I know it's hard to tell from photos, but he is A BIG CHONGUS. Toothless is 5.5 feet from head to tail tip, and has a 9 foot wingspan. He weighs about 8 lbs.
He took about 60ish hours and was very complex. My budget was $200 and he came in at $202! That includes things like the bulldog clips that I bought when he was being pinned because the minky was so slippery! This cost EXcludes a sewing machine, or things like an embroidery ring which my mom had, so I was very lucky in several areas—but he still was not cheap, either by expense or by time and sweat/tears!
Of course, the minky was by far the most of the cost, coming in at $122. I’d say the batting would be next, but I waited and snagged a good deal at my local craft store and got the batting for $18. I HIGHLY recommend buying bed pillows. The original maker of the pattern used IKEA pillows I believe.
I increased his size by 20%, so I printed him at 120% and guesstimated on the minky amount. My WORST mistake was forgetting to mirror the WINGS, which meant I had to recut two of the four pieces of fabric. (I should have marked it on the pattern, which I did mark well for things like number count.) Had I not done this, I would have used a lot less minky. I bought 7 yards and only needed 5.5 before my error.
(Now I’ve got scraps and a whole yard left sitting there whispering that it wants to be made into a Krobus plushie…who seems much less of a hurdle than Toothless.)
I stuffed Toothy’s hip fins and tail fins with one layer of quilt batting. His wings however, are double layered with the batting for extra plush, warmth, and durability. His eyes are hand embroidered (my first time!) but stitched on with the machine. Toothless has poly pellets in his feet to help support his bulk, but most of his weight is in his body, hips and start of his tail so he actually sits up really well.
He was a huge labor of love for sure! The pattern was great, the instructions were…less great. But my mom helped me figure out a lot of the troubling bits. Some parts were easy to follow and others were basically "bing bong fuck ya life." Despite that, I do suggest this pattern. But this is definitely an intermediate or advanced pattern. They also sell the eyes for those that have access to an embroidery machine.
I followed the pattern closely as I desired. I did omit the back spikes on his rear legs, and I couldn’t embroider his lil nose by hand ^^; I also did not make his blue alpha fins because of expense and mistrust in my own skills...also, I kinda wanted HTTYD1 Toothless haha. I love the series as a whole but the og movie is literally one of the reasons I went to college, and it went into my thesis as well.
I want to remake his prosthetic at some point when I have time and energy, but for now I’m pleased with 99% of him, especially since this is my first plushie I’ve ever made. I do not regret any of my personal changes and I’m totally in love with him.
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thebibliosphere · 1 year
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Hey, so this isn't meant as advice for you, this is me asking if you have experience with trying a bit of advice I heard, and what your experience was with it? Basically I was told that two things that can help with migraines is soaking your feet in hot/warm water (possibly with ginger?) and to do breathing exercises where you exhale more than you inhale. Have you heard this advice before? Did you try it and if so, did it work for you? I get migraines pretty rarely but it's always so debilitating when they do happen and "go somewhere quiet and dark for 2 days" isn't always viable but is the only reliable method Ive had so far, but Id be down to try something like this if it has any validity to it?
I have tried them, and they have never worked for me. Alternating ice and heat directly over the pain helps me more (especially heat over my "trigger" eye), but usually, just so I can try to sleep through the pain, otherwise I'm going to be awake the whole 20+ hours, and that's never fun.
Your mileage may vary, and tbh, it's worth trying as they are fairly easy to do -- and who knows, you might get lucky and have "easy*" migraines that respond to deep breathing and soaking your feet.
For what it's worth, I've heard some people get more out of the foot-soaking thing by also putting a cold cloth/ice pack on the back of their neck. It helps aid with vasodilation and vasoconstriction, which can sometimes be a factor in migraines.
Aside from correcting my atypical binocular vision disorder with vision therapy and corrective tinted prisms, the biggest help I've had for my migraines has been from taking B2 supplements as recommended by my neurologist.
There's some evidence to show that taking 400mg of b2 for 3+ months can help lessen migraine intensity and perhaps even prevent them. Supposedly it works better if you also take magnesium.
I used to just take magnesium which is a common migraine "hack," but it never did much for me. Adding in the high dose of B2 was what finally made a difference. My migraines are still 20+ hours, but they're less painful, and I can be somewhat functional with them.
Obligatory: Talk to your doctor before starting any new medications, including supplements.
Good luck. I hope you find a solution that works for you.
---
*No migraines are easy, but some of us have harder-to-treat migraines that don't respond to "easy" solutions. Whenever someone asks me if I've tried deep breathing and Excedrin because it always works for them, I am both happy for them but also want to throttle them, lol.
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city-tickles · 6 days
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Two Tickle Sessions In One Day!
Hi!
It's been a while but I hope you are doing well. I am still on break from posting clips or requests but I wanted to let you know about my recent sessions.
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A month ago I was in one of those bad tickle moods. One of those moods where it was all you could think about and the rush of getting tickled or tickling someone was intense. I don't get these moods often and usually when I do, I don't like it because the last couple of times that has happened, I've received bad news about someone I care about, so it also makes me a little anxious when I get that way. Thankfully, it did not happen this time.
I needed to get the mood out but there was no one in the area to session with. Since no one was available, I decided to check out two parties that I have not been to in years. One M/M party and one Female Foot Party.
When it comes to M/M, I am 100% lee and it is something that does not give me much if any arousal. It's just tickling, and I can appreciate it. I'm sure I'd appreciate it more if it could "get me there" but I've seen enough clips and done sessions, and it usually doesn't. I also rarely do M/M because I have to be in a mood for it. This time, I was in a big mood for it, so I decided to go.
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I've spoken about the M/M party in the past. Last time I went about 8 years ago, I just wasn't comfortable or ready to be there and it seemed like the owner took umbrage with that when I tried to leave. I figured a lot of time has passed and I have gained more experience, so hopefully things would be fine. I explain why I wanted to go to the party, and I was allowed to go.
I entered the party, and as a cis-identifying male, it's a little overwhelming at first. Action (Everyone is clothed) is everywhere right in front of you, but everyone is also very nice and doing their thing. I like to give people space, but there was no space to go, so I was just watching everything go down lol.
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While waiting, I was introduced to a guy, who had grey hair and , who was also into tickling and we began talking. At first, the convo was small talk, but then we realized we knew each other from a previous meeting, which made things easier. After some talking, he asked what I was here for and when it comes to males, I am strictly a lee, so I told him I wanted to be tickled. Luckily, a massage table opened up and was cleaned off and ready to be used. We asked the table owner, who was a tall, slender man with grey hair and facial hair, if we could use it. Lucky or not lucky for me, we were allowed but the table owner was also into tickling. They asked me if he could join in and I figured why not?
I laid on the table and decided not to be bound because sometimes I stay still anyway. And before I know it, I have two lers all over me, testing out my spots and trying to find where I am most ticklish. They would glide their fingers all over my sides, under my arms, my tummy, my thighs and of course, my feet while I laughed and didn't move around too much. It was extra sensitive because 1. With the massage chair, I'm mostly looking upwards and can only see the ceiling. And 2. I'm getting teasing from all angles! The two very skilled lers keep saying things like, "Oh, he's real ticklish!" "I think he likes it!" While others at the party are watching and saying things like, "I think he doesn't want it to stop" and "He's having a lot of fun now"
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With two lers on me, I never had time to have one spot make me off the wall ticklish because it was always changing. Sometimes it was their fingers lightly tickling my stomach that was the most intense. Other times, it was harder touches on my feet by one of the lers. Sometimes it was an attack under my arms. There were a lot of different moments during the 20-30 minutes of tickling that just kept making me laugh hysterically. I do know at one point, a hairbrush was used because I felt it and that always felt more surprising than ticklish. The other interesting part about having two lers on your feet were both styles were different. One was lighter and the other was harder, but both were effective!
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(I couldn't find a MM/M gif)
After my time was done, I thanked them for the session and decided to wrap up since the party was coming to an end anyway. It was time to go to the next party.
This party, which I also had low hopes for, runs all the time in NYC and it is pay-to-play. I was that down bad, that I was willing to do it this evening lol. I went in with very low expectations and the reminder that if the first few moments are bad, I can just leave.
When I got there, it took forever for them to let me in, which already set my expectations to low. Despite this, I walked in and heard laughter already. Someone was getting tickled under the sheets, so I knew I wasn't the only tickler in the area. The girls that I saw in there were nice and chill to talk to for the most part. Some were more personable, while others just wanted to make their money, which I am not upset about. They're not there to be my friend.
The first lee was a tiny girl with red hair, and was ticklish but not that reactionary. I don't think she was ticklish on her feet at all, but I would always ask if it's okay to tickle elsewhere. Thankfully it was, and her upperbody, especially her arms, were her weakspot. She did not seem into it in the slightest, so I tried not to overdo it.
The second lee was this tall, black girl, with long hair and very nice to talk to. She wasn't sure how ticklish she could be, so I would tested some of her spots. Her feet were tolerable, her knees were very sensitive, and under her arms, she was almost unable to do!
I brought some tools that I didn't bring out at the M/M party (my bag at that party was all the way on the other side I just didn't want to bother with it) I ran an ostrich feather up and down her soles and her legs, which felt more relaxing to her. Then, I brought out TicklingDuck's device vibrating device.
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As the device touched her soles, she would laugh hard, squirm around, cover her mouth, and was genuinely shocked at something being so ticklish on her. I asked if I could use the device on her knees and she went "Oh no!" and let me do it anyway, which I didn't do for long because she couldn't handle it.
The third lee was another redhead, who was also a nice person to talk to and wearing boots and long socks. I tickled her through the socks first, which made her giggle a bit, before taking them off and scribbling on her toes and soles so more. Her feet were also moderately ticklish, so I asked if I could tickle other parts of her body. Her weakspot was the ribcage and made any other spot look like a 1 compared to them! I spent most of my time on her feet since the ribcage was so intense, but we did play a few games. I would tell her if she could let me tickle there for 10 seconds, she would get a reward, which would be a foot massage or other foot worship. She agreed and barely opened up her arms until I scribbled in there and teased her further, saying "You gotta let me get in there or I'm gonna increase the time" She opened up her ribs and it was the longest 10 seconds of her life. Afterwards, I would congratulate her for making it through and doing such a good job.
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After we were finished, I was ready to go since I had an obligation to get to later in the evening, but another taller woman approached me and asked me if I like tickling. She mentioned that she liked tickling to and wanted to know if I wanted to session. I was skeptical at first, because it felt like a money-grab, but I figured I'm already here so why not?
Best decision I made at that party. I started by spider tickling all the way up from her feet to legs, to her sides, across her tummy, back to her ribs, and of course under her arms. This woman was genuinely ticklish everywhere and was a lot of fun to play with. I would caress her thighs and tease like I'm about to tickle there, only to sneak attack and tickle her tummy. I brought out the TicklingDuck device again and we played another counting game to see how long she could last without moving, and I made sure to count the longest 30 seconds I could, running my fingers all across her tummy and under hear arms while she laughed her head off underneath the covers. The last thing I did to her, was bring out the pair of stocks that just arrived. I was itching to try them on someone and she was so excited to see stocks. We locked her bare feet and the stocks and I ran my fingers all across her soles and under her toes, while she was unable to get away or pull them out. While these sessions lasted 10 minutes, this one was definitely longer and we both knew it. After she was done, she complimented my ler skills, saying most male lers are rough, but I was very gentle with her, but also devastating, which I took as a big compliment.
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Before I left, I had one request for her. I had a hard time locking the stocks on myself at my home, but when I did, they were not very comfortable. I asked if she could test the stocks out on me to see how good they were. She obliged and got my feet in the stocks. Once I was locked in, she began running her nails across my soles, which was one of the more intense tickles I got all night! I laughed hard and and was unable to do anything else, my feet were trapped and that definitely made the tickling worse! She would tease me and say things like "Aww! Is someone ticklish?" And "Now who's ticklish" until I had to stop her because I really had to get going. I thanked her for the fun time and planned to come back in the future.
Overall, it was a great day of tickles and satisfied my ler and lee moods!
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kazumist · 1 month
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EPISODE 20 ✦ YOU'LL BE SAFE HERE
LOVE, MAYBE — A CHILDE SMAU
masterlist / prev ep / next ep / wc: 417.
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it was surprising that ajax knew exactly where to find you.
well not really; it’s not like he had many options for where you could be in the first place. perhaps he was just lucky that he had thought of this place first—the quiet park where you two had your “late night walk” a few nights ago, which mostly contained you and ajax just sitting down on a bench and him walking you home right after, really.
ajax slowed down his steps when he saw you hiding your face with your knees up on the bench. he runs a hand through his hair in frustration, not because of you. he’s frustrated that he didn’t want to see you like this. although you rarely smile at him in general (he considers himself lucky if he ever gets you to smile in his direction), ajax knows that a smile suits your features better than a frown—or even worse, tears.
he gently approaches you, silently taking the spot next to you. you knew it was ajax right away from the familiar yet comforting scent of the fabric conditioner that he uses on his clothes. and he was the only one you contacted before you made your way here. after simply texting the location of the park, ajax immediately knew that something was up.
“i don’t get it.” you mumbled. ajax doesn’t dare to speak—not yet.
instead, he pulls you closer to him by wrapping an arm around you. he could feel his clothes getting slowly dampened by the amount of tears you’ve been letting out but he doesn’t mind. he’ll take care of that later. “why? i have my limits too, dammit.” you sobbed into his shirt. ajax comfortingly rubs his hand on your arms.
“my poor girl,” he whispers at the crown of your head, gently pressing his lips to it right after. “it’s okay; it’ll be okay soon.”
“they all say that—” a sniffle, “—but what if i don’t? what if it doesn’t get better?” you said, shakily. “i’m scared, ajax.” he gently shushes you, not allowing you to continue that trail of thought. “do you trust me?”
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he feels you nod against the fabric of his clothes. “then trust me when i say that it’ll be okay, yeah? being scared and crying is okay; take your time with it. you don’t have to suffer alone, (name).”
even if you think that the world is against you or when nothing seems clear, always remember: you’ll be safe here.
extra notes.
"my poor girl" was it casual when you said MY poor girl when you were comforting me late at night? (alexa play casual by chappell roan ?!?!) /j
testing the waters tbh but i think i'll start updating more now :') ive been js super busy lately sorry TT college isnt really that fun of a place LOL
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taglist (open): @xianyoon @mitsvriii @kizakiss @kissingkzuha @aethion @phtogravi @ell1e2010 @esthelily @b4tm4nn @hcmay @ivvieene @morganadorodo @kaitfae @kentply @scaranthropy @kyon-cherri @kookiibun @kochothehoe @mekiiiii @ibyobi @iuspired @tetsuskei @kunikuzushis-darling @morgyyyyyyy @chluuvr @scaradooche @kissmiere @a1-ic3 @bubblegum-angelquartz @tiredjxnna @levlucs-kiru @angeilix @cerisescherries @saeskiss @a-talkative-corn @briluvspnk @kamisatoyato @bbysatoruuu @viviixoxosblog @bambisz @chemiru @eternal-dokja @bflyprincess @jamieexistss @monocerosei @enjisthings @jangyung @hahalame @cupid-spams @snzhrchy @ukinya @luciledreamz @bisatanica @bananasquash @almond-t0fu @thegalaxyisunfolding @jaguarthecat [1/2]
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rzyraffek · 11 months
Note
This is my first time doing an ask, but I was wondering if I could request an ftm/ftnb reader x slasher fic (any character you think would fit/any character you want to add) where the reader has trouble breathing in the winter/cold and wearing their binder just makes it worse and their whole body is sore due to going up and down stairs so much so they can't keep up with the slashers longer strides and has to run after them.
Like, if the reader and the slashers were at the zoo or somewhere outside and the reader just started to take SUPER deep breaths just to be able to breathe normally or just to get air; especially after walking up or down stairs or hills.
And at one point the reader just gets tired of having to take so many deep breaths so they just go the the bathroom and take off their and layer two jackets over their shirt since they didn't bring an extra bra.
And like about 20 minutes later, reader STILL has to take super deep breaths just to actually breathe and having to run after the slashers just to be able to walk next to them; but with how sore reader is, they can't keep up with their partner and often has to take 3-minute breaks just to be able to catch their breath.
Remember binder users! You should wear them only up to 6hours daily! Dont ruin your ribcage!! I use to wear binder so yeah, I get it.
Anyways👹ofc i will write this!
So bacially, ftm s/o struggles with breathing due to binder and weather! You didn't specified which slashers so I will just go with flow on this one!
Slashers with s/o that struggles with breathing due to binder
Micheal Myers
Don't worry dude is used to noises of people choking to death lol
But fr dude gets a bit worried? He doesn't like how sometimes s/o has to take breaks just to breathe
If you guys are in rush and s/o has to take a break dude will just "hell nah fuck this" and pick s/o up
Micheal really doesn't care about gender or sex. Your a dude? 👍. There's no need to 'prove it' or look certain way for him to belive you
Brahms Heelshire
Dude fr will set a timer on his phone so s/o won't 'overdose' binder 😭
Erm honey you are starting to hyperventilate, its time for a break dont you think?
Brahms acually did his homework and read bunch of articles about binders and now he understands way more😊👍
Darling remember to exercise before and after you wear it so it less uncomfy
Finds s/o very cute and squishes them too hard sometimes
Billy Lenz
????
The fuck?Are you suffocating or something? *judges*
What feels worse? Wearing binder a bit too tight or billy sitting on your chest while your trying to sleep?
Bro doesn't understand what is "gender dysphoria" and tired to hide s/o binder once cuz he didnt trust it
Lucky for you Billy doesn't go outside, so you don't have to worry about him getting lost walking faster than you
What are pronouns?
Jason Voorhees
Oh Jason you big baby
Jason just feels bad, cuz he knows that s/o feels less cool without the binder but baby you cant breathe😭
Of course he will wait for s/o and he won't rush them at all!
Will try to convince s/o to not wear binder so often. Jason sees you as a perfect boufriend weather you wear it or no
Genuinely worried about s/o health
Asa Emory
Ah creature, why would you think that wearing binder for whole day was a good idea?
Dude is smart, he already knew what binders are!
He is aware that trans people often struggle with dysphoria and he can't just be like "dont wear a binder lol" so he tries to calming explain that nono honey you are a man even if you don't have a flat chest i love you
If he finds out that s/o whats a top surgery, Asa went "Alr bet" and then your bank account blew up
Funfact! If s/o was openly trans before they met Asa... dude was convinced that s/o just has severe asthma 😭 he was like ??? Uh do you have your inhalator with you?? Or like is it temporary???
👽guys I ate good chicken today. With sauce
Also im not sure if its good? I kinda forgot how to write entering stuff😭😰
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Note
>:)
S/o appears, dressed up nice for a date that skelly promised and forgot about until now. What will he do?
Undertale Sans - Uh oh. He plays it casually like he totally didn't forget, saying it's just his normal clothes because he hid the dating one under. Just give him a second. He teleports in his room and runs like his life depends on it to his closet, trying to find something to wear in an emergency. He can hear Papyrus in his head screaming at him for never noting everything and that one of these days he's not going to be here and he will mess up bad. Well guess what, Papyrus was right!
Undertale Papyrus - He looks at you in shock. Wasn't it tomorrow? He swears it was tomorrow. When he goes into the kitchen to check the time and realizes he messed up, he screams in panic and runs to his room to change. Thank god he still prepared what he was going to wear three weeks before so he's fine in the hand. He clearly knew it was today!
Underswap Sans - .... Ah. He starts to sweat profusely, looking more and more distressed as you keep saying you two are going to have a lot of fun tonight. He forgot to book the reservation because he had too much work this week, and he forgot to tell you you should probably do that another time. He has no idea how he's going to save this honestly. He will completely improvise your date lol.
Underswap Papyrus - He has a sudden rise of anxiety and decides it's better to faint right here right now than assume in front of you he totally forgot your date. Good luck with that.
Underfell Sans - He is completely oblivious, flirting with you and commenting on your choice of clothes. That's only when you ask him after some time if he's ready to go that his smile suddenly disappear in horror. Oh shit. Uuuuuuh.... He's not sure how to tell you he completely forgot.
Underfell Papyrus - His eyes widened in shock seeing you. You widened even more as he suddenly rips off his clothes to reveal his dating clothes he was obviously wearing under his regular clothes. Ok, maybe he didn't have to rip off his clothes, but he panicked a little.
Horrortale Sans - Oopsie. He forgot. He just apologizes and goes to change. He's not sure where you were supposed to go though, and you quite realize it after he takes you to twenty different locations, watching your reaction to find out which one is the good one lol.
Horrortale Papyrus - He acts like he didn't forget at all, but he cooked dinner and kinda put everything on the table already so that's quite a big indicator. He pretends it's all for Oak but Willow literally cooked for 20 people so... Yeah, he's defeated. Sorry he forgot...
Swapfell Sans - He looks at you, then raises an eyebrow. "you're getting out tonight?" "Yes? With you? Like we planned last week?" ..... Nox freezes, then cough and sit straight. "of course i knew that." He's lucky he always dresses nicely or you would swear he's lying.
Swapfell Papyrus - He's lying on the couch, stuffing his ribcage with rubber chicken. He stares at you weirdly, but keeps doing it. You cross your arms. "You're not forgetting something?" He looks at you, confused. "no, i stuffed all 120 in there." "What?" "what?" You facepalm. Rus still has no idea what you're talking about though.
Fellswap Gold Sans - "IT'S TOMORROW." He's in denial and he refuses to say he forgets, so he acts like it's your fault and that you're too early. He won't give up with his bullshit. He organized the date, he knows when it's happening and it's tomorrow, now leave him alone.
Fellswap Gold Papyrus - "Are you ready to go out?" "... go out? like, outside the house? why?" "Our date?" He stares at you in complete silence. You try to wave in front of his face, he's not reacting anymore. Coffee crashed...
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southparkhcsocs · 6 months
Note
kicking my feet and giggling
can you do something like the main 4 praising you whether it's nsfw or not or both
heavy on the nsfw but you can pick 🤭
It's been a while babes ❤️ remember when that's what this blog was lol
Fem!reader
Under 18s dni! NSFW under the cut.
All characters are aged up to mid 20s thx
Stan Marsh
Stan wouldn't praise you as much as you'd like.
He doesn't say much generally.
But when he's drunk. Good God.
You are a goddess to him.
Everything you do is amazing, omg stunning!
"you're soo pretty, y/n. 'm so lucky to ha ve you. Look at you. You do so mu-ch for me. I loove youu."
Whether sober or drunk he'll praise you in the bedroom
He's a pretty dominant guy but he has to make sure you know how perfect you are for him.
But it's so much more when he's drunk.
He will stop mid thrust to complement and praise you.
Will end in crying lol
"So perfect." He mumbled into your neck before going to kiss your lips. He stopped his movements to just admire your beauty. "I love you so much. You're so good to me... I don't deserve you." His lip trembles.
You need to praise him back bc bro is insecure!!
Kyle Broflovski
Kyle will praise you a nice amount I think
If he thinks you've done something well, like getting a job, promotion etc he'll genuinely praise you
"That's amazing! I knew you could do it!"
If it's something he doesn't think warrants praise, like getting groceries, cleaning, basically everyday things he won't say anything but thanks. Not that he doesn't appreciate it, he just thinks it's not a big deal.
If everyday things are something you struggle with he'll try praising you but it will be half-hearted.
I don't imagine Kyle being much of a talker during sex
I also imagine him getting quite flustered when you ask him to praise you while he's two fingers deep inside you
"I - uuuhh." His brain fizzles out. System overload as he looks into your desperate eyes. "P-praise you? H-how?" He asked. You thrust your hips to remind him to keep fingering you which kicks starts his brain back to work. "oh, uummm g-good girl. S-so precious aren't you." He burrows his face into the crook of your neck. "You feel so good around my fingers."
He'll get so embarrassed if you praise him. He's not used to it!
Kenny McCormick
Kenny showers you with praises
No matter what you've done he thinks you're amazing, he understands how difficult things can be and wants to shower you in love, complements and praises
But he's so cool and collected it's sexy
"great job, babe."
But will almost always end it with something sexual
"you deserve a reward, huh?"
In bed, he'll praise you constantly
He'll get you to praise yourself.
"you're such a good girl, aren't you? Tell me how good you are for me, baby." His words reverberate against your neck as he's 6 inches deep. Fucking you so hard that you can barely get the words out. "Come on pretty girl. Tell me how much you deserve this."
You can praise him but he'll praise you right back. So much. He'll give you butterflies.
Eric Cartman
Cartman isn't much of a praiser
If you cook him his favourite meal he'll be like "Meh"
The only time he would praise you is when he's bringing you back from subspace
"such a good girl." "You did so well." "Look how pretty you are covered in my cum."
Bro would have you begging to be praised.
"what? You think you deserve praise?" He takes hold of your jaw, forcing you to look at him. "Babe, you're only good when you're on your knees sucking my cock. If you're not doing that, what is there to praise?" His hand slides to the back of your head, pushing you down to his crotch. "You need to work for it, slut."
Nooo his ego is too big don't praise him!!!! He doesn't deserve it!
Will melt at being called a good boy.
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yesimwriting · 7 months
Note
how old are they? (best friend!felix x reader)
short answer: felix is late 19/20, reader feels late 17/18 (i like the thought of reader having skipped a grade bc one of her main insecurities is constantly wanting to seem older bc being mature is the one thing her dad prasied her for)
elaboration below the cut!!
i saw a picture of Saltburn's script that says felix is supposed to be 20,, ig that could be wrong bc of editing/verification,,
i don't remember his age ever being explicitly stated in the movie though, but i feel like it's implied (through his status/familiarity in an on campus routine) that he's not a first year/a little bit older than oliver, but i do picture felix as 20 (maybe late 19 if i ever want to write a blurb where reader and felix are celebrating his birthday)
also it just feels like a good age for him! just starting to get his foothold in the adult world, enough youthful idealism still in his system to want to make someone as "tragic" as oliver his project when a safer choice would have been someone a little shinier,, and just as he's leaving his teenage years behind, he dies (ironically and arguably bc of the youthfully naive concepts his family life would have encouraged him to keep into adulthood) :(
so now instead of being forever 20 bc of his comfortable life style, he's forever 20 bc he has to be,, in a way oliver got to know the only version of felix he would ever know but i digress
bestfriendreader feels like a 17/18 year old freshman to me (hear me out),, i like reader as a freshman bc it's one more thing that should make reader feel closer to oliver,, but she just doesn't, which adds to their dynamic that i haven't shared much of but i will!!
also,, i see bestfriend!reader as someone that's spent their entire life hanging out with people a little older, constantly striving to seem more mature/be a grown up bc her mom's a free spirit and her dad only praises her when she handles his disappointments "like an adult"
also something about bestfriend!reader being on campus for like two weeks, hearing every story on earth about felix and his friends that he's more of an enigma than person (campus celebrity vibes) that she doubts is that impressive until he sits down next to her in class and starts talking is cute idk,, like reader not even realizing how big a deal felix's interest in her is until one of her friend's is like dude.
it's the kind of luckiness that oliver originally hates her for,, reader walked onto campus,, new to oxford,, new to the country, and still manages to snag felix's attention without even trying
idk if the age gap is weird tho😭 (i'm 20 rn and would never date a 17/18 year old but my best friend is 18, started college at 17 bc she was ahead a year and when she was that age she dated 19/20 year olds that went to school with her and that didn't feel weird bc they have enough in common bc of their setting) sooo i'm open to reader having an early enough birthday that she's 18 by the time her and felix get close,, i like the idea of writing a birthday fic anyway lol
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toomuchracket · 1 year
Text
i'd rather jump in your bones (dad!matty x reader)
(hi! a lovely anon sent me an ask about sleeping with dilf-to-be matty on your babymoon before having baba 1, which a couple of other people have also asked for, so here it is, a really REALLY long fic! smut, with a little bit of fluff because i am a sappy bitch lol. anyway, hope you enjoy! <3)
(also if you're unfamiliar with my dad!matty/flatmate!matty tags, this might be a little jarring in places, so i'd recommend reading some of those posts first to get a handle on the lore)
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it's 8am when you're woken up by the baby kicking, her (as of last week's 20-week scan it's confirmed that, yes, she is a she) tiny little limbs bouncing off different parts of your stomach like the old dvd logo that would appear if you left the player on pause for too long. you snort quietly to yourself at that comparison, making a mental note to tell it to matty when he wakes up. actually, you're surprised he hasn't woken up yet; his arm is currently draped softly over the bump as he snores lightly behind you, so he should also be able to feel his daughter kicking.
although, in fairness, if you didn't have a developing human in your stomach operating on a different sleep schedule to yours, the things you and your husband got up to last night would have definitely kept you asleep at this time too.
but you don't mind being awake in circumstances like these: carrying your healthy (and presumably happy) baby; feeling the nearly-naked and gloriously handsome love of your life cosied up beside you; noticing the morning sun and various faint italian conversations creeping into the room via the patio door, left ajar in the scorching heat of last night. it's an early summer morning on the shores of lake garda, and there's nowhere else you'd rather be right now.
baba, though, would apparently rather you were somewhere else - almost on cue, she settles herself in such a way that your awareness of your own bladder becomes unavoidable. with a whispered "you like being a little bit mean to mummy, don't you? you're lucky i love you so much, my girl", you extract yourself from matty's hold without waking him - a feat you mastered a few weeks into sharing a bed with him post-movie nights in the flat back in the day - and pull yourself out of bed. feeling slightly exposed in your panty-clad state, you shrug on matty's black tank top from yesterday, carelessly tossed on the end of the bed, before wandering to the bathroom.
matty appears in the doorway maybe five minutes later, once you've appeased your daughter (so to speak) and brushed your teeth; he copies the latter act himself, after placing a soft kiss on the top of your head, holding his toothbrush in one hand and you in the other. you take these two minutes of matty preoccupation to ogle him, trailing your eyes down his abs and v-line to the waistband of his boxers, admiring the way his arm muscles flex and contract as he brushes his teeth, and just generally marvelling at the way your husband manages to make the most basic of tasks look so ridiculously attractive.
after matty spits out the last of the toothpaste - the sight of which, whorishly, sends a burst of heat between your legs - he turns to you and pulls you into a sweet, overwhelmingly minty kiss. "morning, my love," he smiles, after breaking the kiss and taking your hands in his. "i take it our girl woke you up?"
the obvious joy in matty's voice when he refers to your daughter makes you smile too. "only a few minutes ago, but yeah, she did - all quiet now, but she was kicking quite enthusiastically."
"really?" matty asks, crouching down so he's eye level with your cotton-covered stomach and sliding a warm hand under the fabric to rest there. "you gonna be a footballer one day, baba? that'd be cool. especially if you played for newcastle like daddy did when he was a kid. but pro. definitely pro."
you scoff. "our daughter in a career where she could be far better at her job than a man but would never get the same recognition as him? i don't want her to be that much like me, babe."
"fair point, sweetheart," matty says as he stands, kissing you on the forehead. "but you should still be proud of your work anyway, even though they gave that stupid dick the case over you. i think you're an incredible lawyer, regardless of the fact you're also a little thief when it comes to my wardrobe."
he looks pointedly at the tank top you're wearing, before smirking at you. you put your hands on your hips and stare back at matty. "it's the bump, isn't it?"
your husband's brow furrows. "what?"
"you used to love me wearing your clothes," you sigh faux-dramatically, sidling past matty back into the bedroom and standing in front of the full-length mirror. "you encouraged it, actually. and now, here i am, pregnant with your baby, and you call me a thief for stealing a top. must be the bump."
matty comes up behind you, snaking his arms around your middle and pressing kisses into your neck. "you know all too fucking well that that's not the case, darlin'."
you're having too much fun with this. you do know matty's arguably never found you sexier than he does right now, but you don't want him to tell you that - you need him to prove it. so you sigh, tilt your head and look at your reflection. "hmmm, i don't know, babe. kinda seems like the bump might be a problem for you."
"right, that's it," matty scoops you up bridal-style and carries you the short walk to the bed, setting you down gently and bringing himself to hover over you. he kisses you deeply, passionately, but languidly, dragging your bottom lip between his teeth as he pulls away to murmur against your mouth. "want a repeat of last night, sweetheart, so i can prove to you how much i love your body? yeah? want me to kiss all over those gorgeous tits, that perfect little bump, all down the insides of those fucking thighs of yours, before i eat you out? whatever you want, i'll do it."
interesting. you keep your eyes on matty's adorably eager, turned-on face, watching his eyes roll back ever so slightly when you rake your hand through his hair and tug slightly. "whatever i want? really?"
"if it gets through to you just how fucking hot you look carrying my baby, yeah," matty replies, kissing you again. his face softens as he pulls away, calloused fingers coming up to gently stroke your cheek. "my perfect, perfect wife, mother of my child, love of my life."
"you're so sweet, angel, and i loved how gentle you were with me last night. but," you smile, leaning into matty's hand. "you know what i really want, something that hasn't happened in a little while that i'd love right now?"
"tell me, darlin'."
you lean in to whisper in matty's ear, tugging his hoop earring lightly between your teeth before you do. "want you to fuck me like i'm still your little slut. can you do that for me, matty? please?"
the effect your words have on your husband is instantaneous (and extremely inflating to your ego) - matty's breaths become shallow and shaky, his hips begin to grind into yours, and those beautiful eyes of his flutter shut, presumably as he imagines obliging your request. when they reopen, the pupils are almost totally dilated, out of nothing more than sheer lust for you; they lock onto your own eyes as matty speaks. "that depends... d'you think you've been good enough, sweetheart?"
fuck yes. you look up at matty through your eyelashes, batting your lids a couple of times for good measure, and nod. "m'always good for you."
"even when you're stealing my clothes?" comes the reply, accompanied by a smirk. you smile back just as evilly, and quickly pull the offending tank top off and throw it to the side. "s'not stolen anymore."
for the second time in about a minute, matty's eyes darken with desire for you. "christ, you're so beautiful," he moans, before crashing his lips onto yours and his tongue into your mouth. "alright, darlin', i'll fuck you like the good little slut i know you really are. my good little slut."
"mmm, always, always for you," you smile against matty's lips, before meeting them with your own for another makeout. "thank you."
"you're welcome, angel. now," your husband's face turns slightly more serious. "how do you want to go about this? need to make sure you feel good before i can make you feel even better, yeah?"
nodding, you reach across to matty's side of the bed, grabbing one of the big silk-covered pillows - anticipating what you're about to do, matty takes it from you, quickly sliding it under your lower back and tailbone as you lift your hips. caressing them lightly, matty scans your face for any sign of discomfort. "you good?"
"perfect."
"too fucking right you are, babe," matty grins, kissing you passionately yet again. he bites your lower lip - which pulls a moan from within your chest - before releasing it slowly, dragging the soft cells between his teeth. "and now it's time for the fun bit."
matty's mouth is on your neck before you can reply, the feeling of his lips against your sweet spot turning your words to whines; they're closely followed by teeth and tongue and back to lips, as your husband - apparently not content with just decorating your body with the baby bump - adorns your neck with a hickey. as he begins to trail these scarlet marks of affection down the column of your throat, matty's hands come up to your tits, squeezing the sensitive swollen flesh and rolling and pinching your nipples between calloused fingers.
by the time matty's mouth replaces his fingers, alternating between each tit, you're soaked through your silky underwear. you tell him as much through a series of breathy moans, in the hope that he'll cease his ministrations on your tits and settle himself between your soft thighs, but it's in vain. matty simply continues to mouth his way down your body, kissing down your sternum and all over your bump (which, admittedly, you do find very sweet even in your horny state); only once he's done this does he pay any mind to the dark green fabric covering the place you want him most.
"fuck, sweetheart," matty sighs, rubbing your soft thighs and teasing his fingertips along the waistband of your underwear. "can see how fucking wet you are already. is it all for me, angel? tell me."
you nod furiously. "all for you, always all for you."
"good girl," matty smiles, placing a kiss to your inner thigh before peeling your panties down, throwing them somewhere in the sunlight-dappled room. he reattaches his lips to your thigh, leaving another hickey and you moaning his name, while his index finger glides up your slit to collect some of your wetness - suddenly, matty's leaning over you, bringing the same finger to your lips. "taste yourself for me, darlin'."
fuck. without breaking eye contact with your husband, you take his finger into your mouth, moaning at the tang of your own arousal on your tongue, hollowing your cheeks around the digit and swirling your tongue across the tip, before releasing matty's finger with a pop. you smile radiantly up at the love of your life, watching you with lust-heavy eyes, and you speak. "yummy."
"jesus christ, you're such a slut. i fucking love it," matty laughs in disbelief, before kissing you again. as he does, the finger that was just in your mouth makes its way between your legs again, ghosting over your clit before teasing your entrance. "and i love fucking you. can i, now, with my fingers?"
"please, please."
"so polite, even when you're so fucking desperate for me. alright, sweetheart, i'll give you what you want."
with that, matty settles himself between your thighs, and - without warning - thrusts two fingers into you, moving them at a rapid pace. you whine at the sudden pleasure coursing through your body, clenching around matty's fingers and clawing at the bedsheets beneath you. "fuck, please don't stop, want you to make me cum."
matty lets out a huff of laughter, eyes fixated on the fingers he's repeatedly ramming and curling inside you. "oh, you wanna cum, do you? that all you want?"
whimpering out a series of "no"s, you shake your head - although, you're not sure if your husband will see the motion over the writhing of your hips and subsequent movement of the bump. "want your tongue on my clit, too."
"beg for it, then."
jesus christ.
you do as you're told, though, aching for matty to eat you out like you know he's aching to do. "god, fuck... please, baby, please - oh, holy fuck - please, need you to go down on me, need your mouth on my clit, need it to make me cum- oh, yes!"
just as impatient as you, matty starts to suck on your clit before you've even finished your wanton pleas, his fingers still pounding into you. he moans into you at the taste, the hum reverberating through your body and bringing you closer to your quickly approaching orgasm, then flicks your clit with the tip of his tongue - deft, rhythmic strokes you soon recognise as letters, your husband spelling out his name on the most intimate part of your body. whether it's because of your realisation or the motion itself, you don't know, but you immediately feel the white-hot pleasure in your lower body begin to grow rapidly and make your legs jerk involuntarily. "shit, matty, m'close, m'so fucking close. can i cum? please?"
matty pulls his mouth from you to speak; his left hand replaces it on your clit, while his right continues thrusting into you. he looks like sex itself, cheeks red and glistening with your wetness, dark eyes hungry. "do it."
you don't need much more encouragement - even without your husband's hands deftly working on your core, the sheer sight of him and the rasp of his command could tip you over the edge into bliss. with a cry of his name, your body goes rigid and then shakes uncontrollably as your orgasm hits, matty moaning in harmony with you as he feels you clench and then cum on his fingers. he pulls them out of you and into his mouth, eyes closing in ecstasy as he does; when they reopen, they flick to make contact with yours in a wink. then, just as the aftershocks of your climax are beginning to peter out, matty ducks his head back down to your centre and licks into your entrance, turning the epicurean geiger counter in your body back up to an eleven in one fell swoop.
you gasp at the sensitivity, reaching down as best you can to grab a handful of greying curls, but your efforts are futile; matty locks his arms around your thighs in a vice grip and continues to essentially make out with your cunt, nose bumping beautifully against your clit as he tongue-fucks you to another rapidly approaching orgasm. because you're still recovering from the first one, this climax builds so quickly within you that you don't even have time to warn matty - he knows you're about to cum, though, from the way your legs go from shaking to clamping around his head (something he's told you on more than one occasion that he absolutely loves) and your moans become stuttered, shallower, sexier. so he keeps his motions up, only stopping once he feels your wetness soak his face and hears you scream his name, your legs loosening and trembling slightly on the silky sheets.
after wiping his mouth on the back of his hand and stretching his slightly-sore jaw, matty pulls himself up from between your legs and rests on one arm beside you, leaning over to kiss you deeply. "my good girl. how are you feeling? are you still comfy? do you need a little break?"
panting, you beam up at your husband, matching his lovestruck gaze with your own. "i'm feeling like i want you to fuck me now."
matty laughs, kissing your nose. "you're insatiable, missus."
"and you love it."
"i really do," matty smiles, shifting to hover on his knees above you. "position still good for you?"
"yeah, darlin'," you say, making a little kissy face at matty - he makes one in return, pressing his lips to yours in a little peck - and bringing your hands to pull down the waistband of his boxers; matty quickly takes over, yanking them off and leaving you both naked. "now fuck me hard, please."
"mmm, alright," matty smirks, running the head of his hard cock up and down your folds and teasing it at your entrance. "but remember - you asked for it."
his cock is inside you as soon as he finishes talking, both of you groaning as matty bottoms out - yours quickly turns to a whine as he begins to thrust into you, deep, hard strokes that have your eyes rolling back into your head. the sight of you so fucked out - tits bouncing with every thrust, hands clinging to the metal bars of the headboard, mouth agape and jaw quivering - makes matty moan too. "fuck, look at you, taking my cock so perfectly like the good little slut you are. you were fucking made for me, weren't you?"
you can't even answer, too caught up in how good your husband fucking you feels to remember how to talk. matty, who never misses an opportunity to be ever so slightly sadistic, isn't letting you get away with staying wordless. "answer me, baby."
"mhmm," you manage to croak out, whimpering as a particular thrust hits a particularly good spot inside you. "yours."
"gonna prove it and cum for me again, angel?" matty pants, grabbing your ankles and holding your legs in the air for leverage so he can continue to hit that one perfect spot inside you. "gonna cum all over my cock, and make me cum too? make me fill you up again?"
whining again, you nod furiously. the two previous climaxes have loosened your body up so much that you can feel your third hurtling towards you already - you just need matty to keep up his thrusts for a tiny little bit longer. "don't stop, please, keep fucking me. m'almost there."
"yeah? me too, sweetheart," matty breathes, his thrusts continuing, but getting slightly shallower. "fuck, i'm close. you wanna cum together?"
"please."
"ok, darlin', whatever you want," your husband smiles dazedly. leaning forward slightly again, his right hand leaves its place on your ankle to take up its original residence on your clit, circling in time with the thrusts. "let go for me, whenever you're ready. c'mon, sweetheart, come on my cock."
you're not sure what triggers it - matty's words, his hand on your clit, his relentless fucking, the way he looks at you like you hung the moon, or a combination of everything - but, as if on cue, your third orgasm of the morning hits you. and it hits hard, sending your eyes and head back and your back arching off the bed in sheer pleasure; so hard, in fact, that it triggers matty's orgasm, signified by a guttural cry of your name and a feeling of pure warmth in your core as he finishes inside you.
again, your husband pulls out of you quickly and licks a flat stripe up your core. this time, though, he's back hovering over you within seconds, tapping your lips with two fingers. instinctively, you open your mouth, and matty spits the mixture of your respective releases onto your tongue; you swallow obligingly without comment nor question, earning you a radiant smile, an affectionate "slut", and a soft, lazy kiss.
you pull away reluctantly from matty's lips, bringing a hand to caress his slightly stubbly jaw. "thank you. i love you."
"i love you too, darlin'," matty nuzzles into your hand cutely, a total contrast to the way he was fucking you mere minutes ago. "what a way to start the morning, yeah? proper workout, that."
"well, i did need a way to work off all that extra pasta the little nonnas in the restaurants keep force-feeding me," you giggle. "'for the bambino' my arse. they're just trying to get us not to leave!"
"i think i could stay here, you know," matty ponders, absentmindedly smoothing your hair. "you, me, baba, in this town, in this bed, just snuggling our days away."
"that sounds dreamy."
"yeah," matty sighs, pecking your lips again. "we don't have plans until dinner tonight - wanna practice staying here and snuggling for a few hours?"
"nah."
"what? why?"
"because," you sigh, rubbing your stomach. "baba's woken up and she'd decided it's time for me to piss again."
matty snorts. "impeccable timing. i think she gets that from me. remember that time i-"
"matty, i love you, i really do, but i do need you to shut up and help me to the bathroom now, please."
"alright, alright. whatever you need, wifey."
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