#Which. Lol the puppet account wasn’t wrong

[butchratchettruther]

Thinking about how comedically bad nearly all of my partners have been

[all-hail-stevinel]

Okay so i’ve been seein some ppl say that Spinel and the Diamonds were ignoring Steven’s problems and not giving helpful advice and ngl….i dont agree?? I mean, i kinda get it but tbh i think they did the best they could at addressing Steven’s core issues w/o havin the needed context since it's clear that he hasn't spoken to them since Spinel left so how were they to know how he’s been?

Tbh i think what they had to say wasn't what Steven wanted to hear because it wasn't an easy answer but needed to. I mean for one:

Yellow, without as many words, showed Steven that despite her past cruel actions she is trying to fix it by dedicating time towards those she's wronged. Showing that even the most unforgivable actions can be amended for with effort and dedication, so much so that now, her powers once destructive and anger-driven now have reversed into the ability to heal forms and alter them on command. 

Yellow not only is working to be better, but she has control over her form and that of others. Lol sounds like something Steven could use, huh? 

After all the damage I’ve done, it’s only right to use my powers for a little reconstructive work on the gems I’ve hurt.

Then BLUE, my floaty weed cloud queen had her own hard-hitting advice for Steven. While I can admit the drug clouds are definitely not a solution for Steven’s problems, how Blue arrived there was

Her powers once used to isolate herself and emotionally hurt those around her, were reversed by spending time thinking about her actions and how to hold herself accountable-“i realized i had to make up for my awful behavior!” 

she was able to evaporate her tears into happy clouds and instead focus her energy on the love and positivity in her life like dudes wtf

My little reason why, you make me want to try, loving you~

Then finally! Queen bee White!!!! The wildest Tyrant to ever grace the galaxy has traded in her T-pose for meditation and a $20 Wal-mart yoga mat and it's great!!

If anything, I thought White was one of the most helpful (not only almost dying trying to help Steven, lol) but for how she showed him her power had reversed. She had learned to stop being so controlling and to trust others to the point where she regularly lets those she once enslaved puppet her around for kicks/activism.

In a deeper sense, White who once thought of everyone as “lesser life forms” is now every day allowing those same lifeforms to guide her around to have new experiences and see new perspectives. To show and teach White different ways of being and give a fair voice to all those she interacts with

And she tries to help Steven with that new power, they all do. But in the end, despite being pretty good advice and a blatant show that even unchecked diamond powers can be controlled and used for good with a support system and open communication, Steven rejects it-

He rejects it all because he was recently traumatized. Killed a gem in the last episode, remember? On Top of his already festering trauma from before! That they were all complicit in! Yikes!

none of it, the advice, the song, the perspective was the easy “Oh Why Yes Steven! We as diamonds always go through this rough patch. Here’s ‘X’ to fix it immediately!” that he was clearly hoping for, but instead were all the things he just ran away from.

A support system, blatant concern for his well being, requests for open honesty, and most importantly-

Attempts to get at the root of the problem. Something Steven himself is just not ready for.  

Which really comes to head when he grabs Spinel, desperate for someone who was once so angry and vengeful and violent to show him the way. And what does she do?

She parrots back his own advice.

Which why? Because it stuck with her. It helped her. It made her see a different perspective and gave her what she needed to move forward. It made Steven furious to hear and he ran from her, thinking she also couldn't help, but Spinel really did confront him with what Steven needs to realize.

He can make a change.

But he has to choose too. He has to ask for help and accept it. He has to be honest, he has to confront his problems if he wants to move forward. He can make it right but to do so, ...he needs to be willing to change.

[etheriadearie]

I'm still reading you latest awesome essay but I wanna point out before I forget in the process: Shadow Weaver as you said used Adora as a puppet against Catra, and then almost immediately Light Hope does the same by using fighting simulations that are designed to make She-Ra comfortable into killing Catra and "letting go"

:: Adora and the darkness within-

Hey! Thanks so much for the kind review! And thanks for bringing this up, because you're exactly right. It not so cute like it seems- (Adora becomes completely useless in s2ep1 the second Catra shows up ☺️- turning her sword into a coffee mug and then a flute!? lol!!). That said, the meaning behind Adora's training is indeed something that's actually very scary to watch...

But it couldn't possibly be like that, right? After all, Adora wouldn't really do it, because when she puts her sword to Catra's throat in White Out, Catra then flirtatiously teases her...

.. Sadly, that's not the end of this, Adora does internalize to this brutal conditioning after all. (spoiler warn ⚠️) Adora thinks of herself as a solider, and does continue drilling hard on the idea of killing Catra. And, she almost does so- if you don't know to what I'm referring, it has to do with the one other 100% canon SPOP source material- I'll cover it below in the spoiler section.

Just... know that Adora really does internalize this concept-that she must kill her best friend as part of her 'destiny' (more later.)

It's this belief in 'destiny' by which Light Hope is still able to continue to manipulate Adora, even after she refuses to leave her friends behind, to "let go". Destiny is a concept that's so important to Adora's perception of self value that Light Hope uses it against her, towards the goal of her evil purposes, and of getting Adora to "let go." If Light Hope can get Adora to kill Catra, that's a whole lot of 'letting go' all at once. It would have broken Adora, she never would have recovered. It's so terrifying.

Where does this belief that Adora must do anything to fulfill 'destiny' come from, why is she so concerned with it that she stops thinking any further? Why must it be Adora's burden to do this horrible thing ?

For instance, we know Adora does show wisdom by refusing to leave her friends behind- she's not willing to give in to Light Hope's idea that she should seclude herself in the woods. Adora knows that something isn't right with Light Hope. And yet, isn't Catra also Adora's friend- one which she hurtfully turned against to enact a false destiny, much like how she played favorite to their abuser in the Horde, and whom Adora is now plotting to kill ?

What's really going on is something that's very ugly- despite the cute overtones to lighten the mood. Light Hope is using Adora's sense of duty against her to get her to potentially do something that's very hurtful to herself, and to the person who loves her most. What's so wrong with Adora's 'destiny', that she's got to kill someone she loves? How can that be right, is the only answer for this that war is terrible, or is the war on Etheria even what we think it is, or is it something different? And, is Adora killing Catra for it the right choice ?

Why- that's the big question. Why is it Adora's, or She-ra's, job to save the Princesses from the Horde? Why does Angella feel the need to make this Adora's burden? Could the Rebellion really not have done it themselves, or did they just give up out of grief? As Catra says in s5ep9: "Why does it have to be Adora?"

Like Catra says in s5- this is exactly right: all throughout SPOP, nothing about Adora's situation is right, or fair... it never was. Everyone is just forcing their burdens on her... and she ends up a desperately anxious person because of it.

And it's all a lie, a set up to make Adora fail- just like Mara did.

Like Mara, Adora was "never meant to succeed. They made a plan for" (..her) -it's history, all over again, and everything Adora thinks she's doing for 'destiny' and to end the war is part of this lie. That includes the 'destiny' as Angella describes it for her: it's just another likely set up: "I know the legend of warrior of the one the First Ones called She-ra, they said she would return to us in the hour of our greatest need to bring balance to Etheria". How, exactly ? By winning the war at any cost ?

This is also almost certainly a myth started by the First Ones to prepare the next She-ra for failure, as part of their plan to use the weapon. A deception purposefully implanted within cultural beliefs, meant to further enable their betrayals- Light Hope and the First Ones never had any intention of bringing balance to Etheria, they only wish to use the weapon. And again, why is it Adora's job to save the rebellion from the Horde???

Angella and the rebellion gave up on that all on their own, back when Adora was just a small child. Also... keep in mind that Shadow Weaver was allowed to run to the horde, where there was no accountability for her crimes and where she had complete control over little Adora and Catra, which she used to abuse the heck out of them. Considering how the Princesses gave up trying to fight the Horde when Adora was but a small, defenseless child, why is this war supposedly Adora's burden?? There's nothing fair about it.

We see Adora's legitimate feelings of pain, anger, desperation, and sorrow from how she's been forced into her position- everyone is hurting her with their burdens. It puts Adora in a constant state of anxiety, and her feelings of frustration and anger at this is well deserved.

And yet... what's so interesting about Adora's situation is that her anger towards Catra is perhaps the least deserved: even though Catra is fighting against her in a war which is wrong. Adora might feel mad at Catra for refusing to follow her as she enacts her beliefs in this false 'destiny', and Catra instead makes doing so harder for Adora by fighting back against her, and yet, Adora's not even doing the right thing in the first place as her entire destiny is a lie to use her as a weapon. Catra simply refuses to just accept her friend as this person who just turns on people who mean something to her, supposing evil upon them all while making no effort to understand them any deeper. Adora really is doing the wrong thing by enabling Light Hope's evil... and she can't even see it...

Well... in short, what Angella told Adora about her 'destiny' seemed to make sense- and so she went with it. It's not so much that Adora is naive as that they all are- Angella is naively playing into the First Ones deceptions, too. Adora is supposedly there to "bring balance" through 'destiny' by saving them from the Horde. So, for 'destiny', she assumes that she must be willing to do whatever she has to win that war- she has to hurt Catra...

Deception, and more deception- what even is the war on Etheria ? Where does Hordak even come from, other than Light Hope purposely crashing him on Etheria to set a conflict? It's a cruel war that likely started with the First Ones purposely bringing Hordak to Etheria, and it's not Adora's fault that the rebellion couldn't deal with Hordak- she was a small child when the rebellion fell apart. And, Adora's agreeing to win this war at any cost is a bridge too far... if she were to kill Catra, the damage to her own psyche... it would be beyond comprehension. When we see her talking to Light Hope in s2ep1, we finally get to see how Adora is all kinds of hurt by Catra's refusal of her, she's all broken up inside: "she's in my head". Catra wasn't supposed to be Adora's enemy: Adora couldn't realize this, and she made her one by essentially giving in to the prejudiced views of the rebellion.

Long story short, the war isn't quite what we think it is. Instead- who, really, are She-ra's greatest enemies? Next to Horde Prime and the First Ones, Hordak hardly even measures...

Adora's biggest enemy, as She-ra, is, in fact, the First Ones: and we know that because of Mara. We know Horde Prime must have existed as a threat in Mara's time, yet Mara considered her own people, and the weapon which they created, to be so much greater an enemy that she gave up everything to stop them. And just like Mara, what the First Ones want to do to Adora is so evil it outweighs anything having to do with the war on Etheria- the entire planet is at stake if Adora doesn't wake up to the reality of how the First Ones intend to use her for their evil...

What the First Ones did was always the original betrayal..

... this original betrayal is the reason for everything to do with Adora's situation- it's why she becomes She-ra, but also why she does ends up in Shadow Weaver's care, who wanted to use Adora's power for her own benefit and abused her because of it. It's all to do with the original betrayal of the First Ones by bringing her to Etheria to be part of their weapon...

But, Adora is a soldier, she's been trained to expect violence as a necessity of solving problems her entire life, and so she has a really hard time realizing that the entire concept of this belief is wrong and that she's being manipulated. Light Hope uses her belief in 'destiny' and false belief in duty before all else, including love, to control her- as a soldier, Adora does what she told (within reason) because what Light Hope tells her is what she expects to hear. Light Hope tells her that killing Catra will help end this war and fulfill her 'destiny', so she drills the moment of killing Catra to do it. But what hurtful act is too much, what price is too high, what cost to her own morality is too dark? How terrifying it would be for Adora if she actually did kill Catra...

So, here's the warn for LotFP spoilers 🚨🚨 -more good discussion is yet to come- and I promise not to spoil anything more than necessary for you folks-

💞🏳️‍🌈🌹

(..If you really don't want spoilers, now's your chance)

So... Adora does actually make the decision to try to kill Catra.

In LotFP, it's obvious that Adora had continued drilling the idea of killing Catra, over and over, with Light Hope following White Out. Because- like in White Out- Adora gets a chance to hit Catra- and this time she doesn't hesitate.

Adora consciously attempts to kill Catra. Keep in mind that Adora still had no idea how to heal at that point. Why does Adora try to do that, and what makes her believe she has to do it?

(*p.s- I won't go over how LotFP happens after s2ep5, but if you've been wondering when it took place- yup)

The rebellion may talk a cute game around being more 'humane' with war... but, that's mostly Bow. When it comes to it, both Glimmer and Adora at times choose actions that cross the line into the downright sinister to end the war- no act is too dark for them. Adora comes terrifyingly close to killing Catra because of it...

Luckily for Catra, in the moment of Adora's brutal confusion over her being conditioned to take Catra's life, Catra finally has someone in her life that will take care of her, and Scorpia steps in to protect Catra.

Scorpia then rightly tells Adora off for her continued, out of control, bloodlust towards Catra, willing to murder her friend for what turns out to be an evil destiny, anyways. Catra was never planning to take things that far- she only tries to bring Adora low, or capture her... and to force Adora to confront how naive she is. Why should Adora bear such a burden of the war, at such potential emotional cost to herself and to Catra's life?

The result is that Adora ends up suitably chastised for her actions in LotFP, and you can start to see a change in her behavior following it in s3ep3-ep6: she's realized she can't just kill Catra. She also begins to realize that Light Hope has been manipulating her, and that she's been living a lie.

Unfortunately, Adora's actions before this realization comes at a cost: SPOP is very clear about consequences: it leaves Catra desperately afraid after seeing the love of her life constantly trying to kill her. Each time Adora sees Catra following Promise, 3 times in total, she ends up trying to kill her- unwittingly during the Battle of Brightmoon, possessed during White Out, and then as a conscious decision in LotFP. Is that acceptable behavior ?

This cruel behavior Adora so hurtfully has towards Catra for false destiny sets up Catra's biggest mistake and her following mental break down:

Catra desperately looks elsewhere for any kind of support- the person she loves wants to kill her... and Hordak is being hurtful and threatening her. So, Catra decides to try to get Shadow Weaver to help her. After all, why not- nobody can be THAT evil, right??? She must have SOME humanity...

That's a mistake, as Shadow Weaver is all bad, and all that Catra gets for trusting her is more horrible emotional wounds and so much more damage that by the time Adora sees Catra in s3ep3, she's one bad hit from totally losing her mind. And the hit comes... and she does... and Adora simply cannot reach Catra through her grief and her anger.

Even though Adora changes her behavior towards Catra in s3ep3-ep6- showing deference for her past mistakes, love for Catra, humility, Catra is too far gone to hear it- she only sees protecting herself from further harm at any cost- that includes pulling the switch and winning the war. It was how she was going to finally be safe...

Everything proceeds to fall apart, so much chaos ensues. One thing that's so scary about Adora's behavior is that it shows she was fighting while having no idea where her line was: what action was too much, too sinister, in service of her 'destiny'? She didn't really understand her own feelings, her own darkness.... and if Adora had taken Catra's life... it's real scary to think about. Fighting without knowing your own moral beliefs and convictions is always scary, it was scary to see for both Adora and Catra.

And so, by the time Portal happens... there's not much Adora can do for Catra. She's too hurt to hear Adora's pleas of love. All she can really do is ask Catra to be better, to heal herself. As Adora says:

"You made your choice, now live with it!*

*WOMP*

She's right, Catra can't live with herself- she's been corrupted by her grief and her fear- and in s4 we see as Catra's anger begins to break down into something else.

Catra is stuck in a downward spiral, and at least Adora is always trying to be better, even if she didn't know what that really is. Can we say the same about Catra? No not really.

One last appreciation-

Scorpia is a good, smart, interpersonal person, she realizes Catra's needs, she protects her like no one else ever has, including Adora. Yeah, Catra doesn't really deserve her, (also- Scorpia was always Catra's best source of healthy emotional support, something Catra should have worked harder at accepting), but it's really good for people like Catra to see someone show care for them, besides. And, Scorpia also stops Adora from doing something she herself never would have recovered from.

Hooray for Scorpia! Hooray!! Without her, no kiss, no saving the universe. Hooray!! for Scorpia!! She's the best- 🖤♥️🤍

Happy 1 year anniversary to Catradora kiss!! 🎉🏳️‍🌈 💞🎉🥰

Everything in SPOP is always a team effort. Scorpia deserves Adora's gratitude, after all, Scorpia saved Catra from Adora's own hurtful confusion. How scary it is that Adora came so close to taking the life of her future lover... 😥

Thanks as always for a like or a ✨✨✨rebloggg✨✨✨ and let me know if you have questions or concerns! I will gladly answer them-

With Love,

~EtheriaDearie

::Here's a link to the original post to which this refers- all links are on tumblr

🥰 Got time for one more fast and fun read about Catradora love to help the author out? Check on this quick read-💞🏳️‍🌈

LotFP = Legend of the Fire Princess

Here's the total list of more reading if you'd like to read more 🙂 -

[liesfallaciesfabrications]

Mr. Queen Analysis

My take on the rather heartbreaking and vague ending of the KDrama, Mr. Queen.

  Okay, I’ve been thinking long and hard on this subject (way too much) and have come to the following consensus:

Bong-Hwan and So Yong are both versions of the same soul. What got me thinking about this was that scene in episode 5 where SoBong talks about original and past lives but then mentions parallel time-streams. To illustrate, she draws two lines running side by side and explains how a past life can be in one and the original/current being in the other. This had me stumped a bit, and I thought it a bit random that they put that in there, but then I looked up “reincarnation and parallel lives” and there’s a surprising number of articles on it - though obviously not conclusive or scientific as it involves spirituality. 

Episode 5 also explains why time in the present is flowing at the same rate as the past, which we discovered when BH’s consciousness briefly reentered his body and explain why they chose to reveal that fact. Time isn’t linear here but more fluid with both versions existing simultaneously - harkening back to the two lines Mr. Queen drew to illustrate.

The reincarnation theory would explain many of the elements of the story that I found hard to accept. For example:

If So Yong’s separate soul was in there with Bong Hwan’s soul then why did he never feel her? In fact, the show repeatedly makes reference to the idea that Bong Hwan does not feel another soul and attributes characteristics of SY to the body (telling her after the kiss that the soul is in control of the body so she ought to behave and in another scene he tries to get her soul to return by addressing the lake - where he believes she is hiding).  The only time he accuses her of being a separate entity inside of him is when he wants an excuse for his feelings and reactions to CJ. The “it must have been her that took control. If I knew it was CJ I would have....still enjoyed it?!? What’s wrong with me?” moments. LOL What if the reason he couldn’t feel another presence was because there wasn’t another? He merely had his consciousness wake up in the body of his past life but didn’t realize it.

It would explain the gradual integration of both personalities. For example, when CJ returns the book to Mr. Queen, she never thinks of herself as NOT being the girl from the well as she did when he first confesses his love for her at the lake. As BH spends more time in her previous body, the lines become more blurred not just in memory but also in identity because he IS her. If they were two separate souls, I don’t think she would have that same reaction nor do I see anything to indicate that So Yong “took over” in that moment or any other. Memories were accessed, personality traits were mingling, but we saw SY come out in episode 20...that personality was immediately recognizable. Fantastic acting by SHS - especially as she had me loving the one and hating the other, despite being both.

It would explain why Mr. Queen falls for CJ so hard, despite his initial protests. I never liked the idea of his feelings being manipulated, but I can get on board with the idea that he accepts his feelings for CJ because this is a man that some part of him has always loved - and falls in love with “again” through their shared experiences and journey.

It would also explain the question of why Bong Hwan. What was the connection between this man and So Yong? They are reincarnations of each other. When So Yong was feeling hopeless and needed strength, she pulled upon her stronger version of herself to help her - made possible in that moment when she desperately wanted to give up on life and he desperately wanted to live. She came to him in that pool and appeared to the queen again when she was looking for answers in the lake. This does not give the impression of a soul cruelly imprisoned in her own body against her will. 

It would also explain why, when Bong Hwan briefly went back to his body, So Yong did not reappear. She wasn’t being suppressed. She purposefully had her reincarnated self come to give her strength and was not ready at that time to assume her life again. I found her choice of words at Byeong-In’s grave to to be telling. She said he always knew where to find her whenever she was hiding. It’s also why I believe BI didn’t realize Mr. Queen wasn’t SY - for the same reason CJ doesn’t at the end of the drama. These two men, both of whom deeply love her, could sense it was her, just in reverse order. CJ-SB-SY and BI-SY-SB.

It would also solve the pesky issue of why BH is an overall better person - not just at the moment of his return but before. Someone on Reddit mentioned the implausibility of CJ’s political accomplishments causing a ripple effect to change BH, and I agree. However, if we look at BH as SY’s reincarnation, then the positive attributes he now displays in the altered timeline can be accounted for because he prevented his previous incarnation from killing herself, therefore in his next lifetime his soul didn’t carry those grudges. This fits with the idea of reincarnation as a person’s life experiences and emotions/grudges/regrets/mindset at death will determine the psychological and even physical manifestation of their next life. 

SY was told by evil Kim that she had no power b/c she was a woman - next life is a man. 

SY had her love cruelly rejected - next life is a playboy who doesn’t seem to believe in love. 

SY felt that she was living a lie - next life is a man who doesn’t care who he offends with his opinion and does what he wants when he wants - to the point of selfishness - though this changes when he prevents many of these resentments by his actions in the past. 

Finally, it would explain why CJ is so “oblivious” at end of the show. He promised when he returned the book to SB that he would never fail to recognize her, and he doesn’t. While her personality has changed, it’s intrinsically also the same person, though this is the area I felt the writers dropped the ball in execution, but I get that they were pressed for time. The implications of this aspect also seem to be what KJH meant in his comment to a fan’s question of whether the king knew that BH had left.That it didn’t matter: SY or BH didn’t matter, only how CJ saw her.

So why send BH back? I believe they did it because it wouldn't make sense for him to live a life he essentially already lived as SY. Reincarnation is meant to be for a soul to grow and spiritually evolve, which it could not do by simply repeating what it had already done. Also, for some reason (I suspect so as not to offend Koreans by skipping over one of the most prominent historical figures in their culture - Queen Min), they still have CJ dying at age 32. This can be seen in the book BH is looking at when he's seeing his portrait, and is mentioned as early as episode 1. This was never going to be a happy ending for CJ/BH in the sense that many viewers wanted. Rather, he was going to facilitate the relationship of SY/CJ so that his previous life could run its course...ugh, I feel sick typing that out...with the hope that they meet again in another lifetime. Our SB is many things but trapped in Joseon without modern medicine, a miracle worker she is not. CJ dies without any heirs; his baby with the queen dies at just six months. If the BH decided to stay for love and then lost the baby and CJ, that would be just as heartbreaking for me as the ending I received. 

Wiki and other sources speculate the CJ was poisoned by the Andong Kims, but many historians (including Bong Hwan’s mother, it seems) dispute that fact as it would serve no purpose since he was a puppet king and since his death then allowed the Jo family to briefly take control until King Gojong’s father pretty much crushed both the Kims and the Jos. In reality, he probably died of unhealthy habits and a life of excess. In the show’s world, who knows...cancer or any number of possible illnesses that could not be treated at that time. During the banquet planning, we see CJ suffer a nosebleed. In the spinoff, Mr. Queen mentions how CJ is trying hard not to collapse from the strain of his burdens. These could be hints left by writers to indicate that CJ’s health has been compromised by the grueling struggles and stress he’s had to endure, not to mention allowing himself to get blown up.

They writers did give us the hope for another reunion - perhaps in BH’s lifetime or perhaps another one. It’s why I think they tried to imply a SY/CJ connection in the Bamboo Forest prequel (the only prequel in the spinoff) as well as end Bamboo Forest with a reincarnation wish. The setup seemed quite intentional and in specific order. The prequel created a sense of destiny. The next segment was about Mr. Queen confirming if it was just his body or his soul that was attracted to CJ...literally the words out of the character’s mouth...and they gave an answer to that with the last shot. The final segment introduced the wish for CJ to meet his queen again, and he is clearly thinking of Mr. Queen - so why the prequel, which would seem to introduce a separate love interest, unless it’s actually not because they’re one and the same with the middle segment emphasizing the genuine attraction and love for each other.

This might not be everyone’s cup of tea; it certainly wasn’t mine, and I think the writers should have handled the leaving better instead of going for an quasi mind-wipe of all the characters’ remembrances of Mr. Queen. I mean, CJ went from being horrified at Mr. Queen acting like a perfect little queen for a few seconds a mere handful of episodes ago to just asking "why the formality" at a more permanent display of temperament and seemed practically oblivious otherwise. Then Choi and Yeon were "shocked" when So Yong didn't revert to her witch of the palace act and chastise the maids that were laughing by the pond - as if Mr. Queen didn't already change that way of thinking months ago. Not to mention that they were also nonplussed by the fact that their relationship to the queen had gone from being regarded as family back to a servant/master status quo. Even with the soulmate angle, there was to much deus ex machina thrown in. The idea of soul mates is a romantic one, but the execution of it fell through.

They should have never gone with the reincarnation route, especially if they were never intending to let SY have a true voice in the drama, even if it’s just a final conversation between herself and BH before he leaves, made possible in that split second before true separation. Viewers never got to bond with her, and in those moments we did see her, she was either a watered down version of the personality we were emotionally invested in or emphasized the opposite characteristics (demure, feminine, etc...) that we loved Mr. Queen for rejecting. Also, this angle gives us no true feeling of completeness and satisfaction. SY is with CJ in the past - we won't see them develop their feelings for each other and grow to like them as a couple. BH is in the present but who knows if he'll find CJ's reborn soul and happiness with whoever it is. Promises without fulfillment demand too much from the audience to fill in the blanks. If that's the case, next time just give us a tag line and tell the audience to imagine the rest.

Even if they share the same soul, we are given two distinct personalities and not enough connection between them in terms of their recognizing each other, acknowledging their feelings for CJ to each other in some sort of passing the flame moment that would make it feel more homogeneous and prevent feelings of resentment at what we perceive as an injustice to a personality we adore.

Instead of creating an emotional divide between the two, they should have just have SY die before BH's soul enters, and develop the romance between CJ and HB's as the novel and even that cheap and campy Chinese version did. Having SY there just muddied the waters, and became a distraction and an excuse for every emotional milestone Mr. Queen experienced, negating that character's development and laying it at SY's feet or claims of deliberate interference.

They should have chosen a fictional king and not boxed themselves into a limited outcome. Granted, it gave them a valid reason for booting BH back to present times, but look at the result: limited number of years with someone the audience isn't really familiar with for our beloved ML (plus their baby dies) and a huge question mark for our F-turned back into ML in the present with the hope that maybe the reincarnation thing works in his favor but who knows because they couldn't even toss us that small crumb which would have alleviated some of our heartache for BH as well as give more credence to the fact that SY/BH are the same and thereby lessened the feelings of resentment to the SY character as well. Or they could have gone with a multiverse theory and left it wide open as to what sweeping changes would occur. BH being initially thrown back to the Joseon era as a result of his dying would have achieved that because then the audience would have no reason to revisit the present nor see that the worlds were linked via changes upon his return and stuck with the poisoning threat averted. Blow recorded history to smithereens and leave that to our imagination instead.

Yes, the fish-out-of-water hijinks were great fun, but the completion of the character arcs/relationship/etc...shouldn’t be an afterthought. 

The other element I would have liked to have seen that was in neither of the televised versions (though the Chinese one came very, very close) but was in the web novel is the king fully accepting that his wife is not the woman she was, believing that her previous body was a man, falling in love regardless and she with him. However, I think we all knew that wasn’t going to happen in a kdrama. 

[rivetgoth]

I had this friend I met in the Hetalia fandom in like 8th-9th grade who was like, a lot older than me (I was like 12-13 when we met and she was like 17 or so), and we were REALLY close for a really long time, we'd talk and call every day and it got to a point where she was really dependent on me in this awful way where she would like constantly threaten suicide if I didn't answer her texts fast enough and shit like that. She was really rich cuz her dad was a doctor and one time she bought me an entire fucking Xbox One (I did not ask for it like... I'd always been a PlayStation gamer LOL) because she didn't have anyone to play Halo with her. My family still has it and uses it as a DVD player/Netflix machine.

Anyway the really batshit thing about this person (BESIDES the fact that she was like, definitely a pedophile who loved shota and frequently sexted me after she'd turned 18+ and I was like 14 and she also had both a bestiality and incest fetish that she'd talk to me about constantly — I was a kid I had no moral concept of anything and just liked being edgy and feeling mature) was that she was like. A chronic liar who constantly faked identities. And for years after cutting off contact with her I would look back and realize that she had faked even more than I had noticed at the time. The thing is, I knew for sure she wasn't lying about her home life -- Her address, what she looked like, her dad's profession, her age, her house, her pets, etc, were all things I had proof of. But when I knew her she was constantly remaking her Tumblr to escape drama she'd start, and she would constantly make side blogs under pseudonyms and pretend it wasn't her (sometimes it would be random shit like aesthetic blogs under different names or ask blogs for characters or smthn, other times it was like, callout blogs for people she had gotten into drama with where she would pretend to be someone else defending her). I assumed back then that I was always going to be in on it, because she would always tell me whenever she made one of these fake accounts, and sometimes she would encourage me to make a new account too as a sort of roleplay thing where we both pretended to be people we weren't... Until I learned that she wasn't always telling me. Every so often, I would become mutuals with a new account who would start messaging me about my interests and strike a conversation with me. Then something would slip and my "new mutual" would admit that they had actually been my friend all along... Which should have made me immediately cut contact because that's weird as shit, but I was young and she was a close friend, so I would just sorta accept it.

She ended up being like, horrifically transphobic. She got run off her blog twice for being specifically transmisogynistic, first insisting that she was allowed to headcanon canon trans women as feminine men and then on her next blog insisting that lesbians couldn't be attracted to trans women. I was still young and closeted and she was one of my closest friends and was constantly messaging me that the situation was making her suicidal and she was just wording things wrong and totally supported trans people and people just weren’t giving her the benefit of the doubt and she was still learning so I tried to just stay out of it without losing her. Then... I came out as trans lol. She stopped replying to me when I first came out and then made a bunch of vents on her tumblr about how much it upset her and about how “using he/him pronouns for AFAB people is triggering” for whatever fucking reason. She told me her “best IRL friend” who she had introduced me to once on Skype but who never logged in again after and who refused to ever do a group call or anything (definitely another fake account) said that it was irrational for me to expect my friends to respect my pronouns so soon after coming out and that I shouldn’t be upset if I get misgendered. Then she apologized but told me my name and pronouns would never fit me. As you can imagine, as a little baby trans kid who was closeted from my family and terrified of even having come to terms with being trans, I didn’t really have a great defense.

Soon she started being really woke like 2014 style Tumblr SJW to save face, she came out as nonbinary and told me in private it was because she felt bad when people called her cis during discourse (she absolutely wasn't nonbinary) and she coined a "new sexuality" that was "attraction only to people you perceive as feminine, regardless of how they identify" -- what this actually meant was "attraction to cis women and not trans women." She ran an aroace help blog despite not being aroace? And made a bunch of pride flags that I still see around sometimes to this day. She would start fights a lot and try to out-woke people and got into a bunch of drama with other SJW types of the day, got into a bunch of drama with TumblrInAction and Mogai-Watch and shit like that, and she claimed for a short while that she had a headmate (FWIW I totally believe DID is a legitimate thing but like. Trust me on this one.) who was transphobic and that it made her so sad, she told me that it was actually that headmate that had been transphobic before, and every so often her headmate would front out of nowhere and misgender me and use really abusive language like calling me a cunt or a bitch or whatever. She started making these "intersex nonbinary" OCs who she would constantly make porn of under the guise that they were representation for LGBT people who were just like, extremely fetishistic cuntboys and dickgirls (they were “intersex” to explain why they could be “girls with natal penises” or “boys with natal vaginas”).

At that same time, she somehow always managed to have these random, very sporadically active trans women mutuals who were apparently amazing friends of hers, who shared some interests with her but also would defend her when people brought up her past, with these long-winded “Well, I’m a trans woman and I think what she said is perfectly justified and everyone makes mistakes and she’s always been a good ally!!” Then one day some trans woman received an ask from her account where she claimed to be a “black trans woman” (she was, of course, a white cis woman) and she freaked out and claimed she had “been hacked by TiA or 4Chan to make her look bad” — I realize now she had just been sending anon messages pretending to be things she wasn’t and forgot to hit anon LOL. Late in all of this she also got into a bunch of hot water for being really antisemitic and saying she didn’t trust Jewish people because they were just like Christians and like, 5 seconds later she came out as Jewish and wrote this whole long sad vent about how she had had internalized antisemitism and then started going by a random Hebrew name LMAO.

In the end the final breaking point was when I found her secret TERF blog, where she had been making posts for months about how trans men are just insecure women who are trying to escape misogyny by stepping on the backs of “fellow women” and using me as a fucking example, and also saying that me not coming out as a trans man had been “basically rape” since she had been SEXTING me when she was 18+ and I was 13-14+ and that it was traumatic to know someone she had trusted was secretly identifying as a man LMAO. She was also obviously saying all sorts of transmisogynistic things, but also had these really bizarre fetish posts about wanting trans women to fuck her...? I confronted her about it and she literally fucking out of nowhere told me that she was in the emergency room with a mysterious illness that might kill her and she was allowed to have her phone but due to privacy laws couldn’t send a picture as proof. While “in the hospital” she deleted the TERF blog and her personal blog. I had known her for literal YEARS at this point (we had met when I was 12-13 or so and by the time we no longer spoke I was a few months from 17), and I was completely stunned to fucking hear this person trying to pull “I’m in the hospital with a deadly disease” at being confronted for some shit like that LMAO. I made a post about it on my public and another “trans woman friend” of hers logged in to vehemently defend her by saying that there’s nothing wrong with AFAB women being untrusting of trans people because female oppression is uniquely traumatic and that there’s nothing wrong with women expressing their sexuality by sexting minors as long as the minor consents and that I was the real predator for “hiding that I was a man” (remember, I’d been a 13 year old closeted trans boy), before never logging in again... 😭 One of the last times we ever talked was when she demanded I refund her for the fucking Xbox and I refused.

Anyway, the long-term aftermath of that is that a few people online (in some random cringe areas of the internet) who archived some of her antics still think that I also wasn’t a real person, since they caught onto how much she lied about too, so they think I was also a sock puppet and I have no interest in clarifying and making myself known to those people LOL. I have no fucking idea where she is now, she deactivated everything after her being a TERF came out. There’s like, so much more to that I could say because I knew her for YEARS and, like I said, she was one of my “closest friends.” Her parents had wildly expensive pure bred designer dogs that she would make Vines of. She wrote Beatles real person fan fiction. For her birthday one year I made her a shirt on Zazzle with an inside joke about one of her OCs... does she still have that? Either way, she was easily the most batshit person I’ve ever known closely online and I will forever associate the Hetalia fandom with people like that.

[bronskiibeat]

“ i don’t wanna talk to you rigjt now “ “let go of my hand “ but let them make up pls they’ve been through enough 🥺

Hey Anon, thanks for the request! This went a bit left of centre, completely ignored the angst part lol. But I got carried away, and I had to get this out of my system, I’ve been obsessed with this idea for ages!

Accompanying moodboard here Read on AO3 here --- It had been a weird fucking month. Ha, it had been a weird fucking year. Billy remembered almost nothing of being King of the Flayed, as Steve had taken to calling him. From anyone else that would be a gigantic kick in the teeth, but it was different with Steve. Steve who had been the only one to be able to drag any Billy out during that dark time. Steve who hadn’t given up on getting him back. That Steve. The Steve sleeping quietly with him now, in the warm glow of a lamp only achieved by the wee hours of the morning.

It had all been about to hit the fan, Billy’s body, controlled by something entirely outside of himself, was moments away from using him to kill the weird girl.  But Billy had been snapped back to his senses, freezing with the girl dangling from where he had her held against the wall by her neck.

 The girl with the red hair was there too, a giant radio in her hand as she glanced her panic towards at Billy, who had frozen still. The crying panic of the girl in his grasp, the shouts of his sister, that was who she was, the dull roar from the main floor upstairs, none of this registered to Billy, only the sound of the kid with no teeth rattling through the box in Max’s hand, Max that was here name.

 “Come in, this is a code red. Steve is still down there. We could not find him. Code red, Steve is missing!”

Billy’s eyes lock with Max’s, he sees her panic, her tears. He needs to get to Steve, his Steve that’s who he is. He drops the girl to her feet, far more gently than how he imagined she’d gotten up there, picking her up in his arms to take her back to the main food court, where all of Steve’s friends were. To the man with the shirt, Chief Hopper, that was his name. He marched straight towards him, ignoring the gun pointed to him, knowing he wouldn’t shoot with the girl in his arms, El, that was her name.

 He passed her to the Chief, staring at him, waiting to see if he would speak. He didn’t, so Billy forced his voice box to produce something. It was harder than he imagined, all that came out was “Steve.” Hopper seemed to know more about what that meant to Billy than he’d ever let on, nodding his head and lowering his gun, nodding his head aside as if giving permission, sending Billy off at a sprint. He knew where he was going, but he didn’t know how, he just knew. He stopped only to rip a radio from the ex-girlfriend’s brother’s hands, Mike, that was his name.

 Getting to Steve wasn’t something still in Billy’s brain at all, he had no memory between leaving the mall and picking Steve up off the floor of a bloodied cell, furnished only with a chair Steve appeared to have fallen off hours ago. Days later he’d been filled in on just how many Russian’s he’d killed in that blank spot, with bare hands and picked up weapons, and it made him throw up, physically sick by what he’d done. Steve had told him that was because he was a human. 

All he remembered was picking Steve up, the warmth of memory, of love pushing his own consciousness further into his own brain. The rest of the day had all been painfully vivid in his memory, always playing in repeat in his mind, like it was now. The alarm clock told him it was 3:34AM, and Billy believed it, only 3:34 felt like this. Soft and warm and terrifying all together. “I love you, Billy. Oh thank fuck. Billy, I love you so much, jesus-” Steve had murmured as Billy had manhandled him off the floor. Billy had carried him half the way back to the elevator, back upstairs to safety, to danger, the monster. Him, me, I’m the monster, I’m upstairs and downstairs.

Steve hadn’t shut up all the way, loving adoration, somewhat drunk sounding mumblings made thinking incredibly hard for Billy, who was still fighting to have full control of his brain. He set him down against the wall, holding his chin to look him in the face.

 “Steve. I don’t wanna talk to you right now.” The corners of Steve’s mouth pulled down almost childishly, Billy recognised that from a distance in his brain as sadness. “Until it’s out of me, I can’t, okay?” A nod satisfied him and he picked Steve up again, a voice stopped him, made him straighten up to work out where it was coming from. 

The man’s voice, the one who’s hair had slipped off his head and was hanging onto his chin, Billy didn’t know him, but the radio had his voice inside now. 

“Come in Hargrove, you need to switch the machine off, close the gate, can you take instruction?” It was shouted, panicked, Billy could see him which was confusing, he wasn’t here, but he could see Murray upstairs, he screwed his eyes shut to try and get this version of him under control. 

Steve laughed from where Billy had slung him over his shoulder. “Is that Crazy Murray? Murraaay!”

 Billy again had a strange gap in his memory, he remembers Murray’s voice, but not what he said, he has no idea how he knew which room to go to, which keys to turn, buttons to press. But he remembers again vividly turning those keys, eyes locked to Steve’s, Steve who was the only thing keeping him in control of himself, stopping him being taken over again by that thing. 

When they turned the keys, Billy hit the deck. He dropped like a sack of spuds, as if his strings had been cut, the puppet master bored. Then there were tears, so many tears.

 He remembers that well, he remembers that with a different horror to everything else, a horror that he couldn’t stop weeping, that Steve was barely conscious but holding his hand, head resting on his chest, whispering to him.

 He remembers it all, but he remembers Steve the most. The weight currently on his chest is the same weight, it’s Steve, holding tight, never letting go. 

Billy’s chest feels tight too, it always does after an action replay, the doctor calls it a ‘flashback’, but he’s not sure that’s appropriate, it’s not a flash it’s a play by play account of the game of life they engaged in that night, painfully detailed.

 It’s panic, he identified, he’s panicking. Gently, trying not to wake his Steve he tried to get up, walk it off, but a hand reaches for his own, a groan and then a small voice gain his attention. “Hey.” Billy smiles, in a million years that could never not make him smile, his Steve looking up at him. “Hi Pretty Boy.” Steve squeezed Billy’s hand, knowing something is wrong, he’s not been woken at 3 whatever AM for the fun of it, he kissed the spot of Billy’s chest where his head is resting. “Doing okay?” He whispered, curious eyes turning to meet his own.

 “Let go of my hand.” Billy replies, trying to extricate it from under whoever it was it was under. Steve frowns but unlocks his fingers gently, uncertainty replaced with satisfaction as Billy shifts to lie more fully under him. He needs to feel him, his Steve, all over, the only person who would ever have this much of a claim on him again. The positive possession of his boyfriend scrubbing over the terrifying possession of the month prior. “Love you too.” He murmured, wrapping his arms tightly around his Indiana Boy.

[creativeskullcreations]

Chapter 10: A Real Guilty Feeling

Hey everybody, here's chapter 10! But, unfortunately, it'll be the last chapter you see for a while. I need to take a break from writing for a while, do something else and recharge a bit. Maybe also knock out some drawings too while I'm at it.

Current timeline is looking like this: Couple of weeks without writing, and then maybe build up a bit of a buffer of chapters for <i>Outside</i>. But first, I'll be working on episode 2 of <i>Happy Times at Handeemen HQ</i>. Y'all are starting to show an interest in that, and I wanna put something new out for it.

If you want to keep updated, or even just see what I'm drawing, you can follow my art Tumblr here. Also check out my YouTube, in case of livestreams or speedpaints!(Am I plugging my own stuff too much?)

Whenever I'm ready to start posting again, I'll make sure to leave an announcement on here.

I'll see y'all later.

When Will got home, he dumped Stacy's stuff and scout on the couch. He then pointed out his locked workroom, and told her that she was never to go in there no matter what. That done, he left her to her own devices, and went off to bed. He took off his shirt and jeans, then crawled under the sheets. The last thing he did before passing out was shoot off a message to the group chat about how DnD Night was canceled until further notice.

When he woke up, far too few hours later, it was to a light weight on his chest. He stared at Scout for a moment, then picked her up and dropped her on the floor, rolling onto his front. He grabbed his phone, squinting at the too bright screen. Several messages were in the chat, and he sighed as he opened it up and scrolled to the top.

Masonary: um, excuse me?! i asked for that day off u can't cancel!!! somebody better be dead! D:<

Blooming_Stitches: Mason, shut up. We don't know what could be going on.

drWEED420: ugh, stacy. I told you to call me.

Masonary: y would stacy need to call u sam?

Masonary: is it because she hacked ur account and changed ur name again?

 drWEED420 has changed their name to DrSamIAm

DrSamIAm: no but it is something we'll going to talk abaout.

Will_and_a_Way: Stace is in the hospital for infected surgery stitches

Blooming_Stitches: I'M SORRY WHAT

Masonry: dude i was joking about som1 being dead

DrSamIAm: goddamit stacy

 DrSamIAm has left the chat We're ALL Idiots Here

Masonry: ok first of all what happened to stacy

Masonry: second who changed the chat name again?

Blooming_Stitches: lol

Will sighed, the went into his phone and pulled up his drop box, where he'd sneaked the file into a while ago. He hesitated briefly, then sent it to the chat. Stacy could be mad at him later, but he was too tired to think up a cover story for her right now.

 Will_and_a_Way posted a file in We're ALL Idiots Here

Masonry: ?

Blooming_Stitches: !

Will_and_a_Way: read that if you guys want to know what happned.

Will_and_a_Way: I'm going back to sleep now try not to kill each other

He clicked his phone off, dropping it to his mattress and letting his head fall on his pillow. Within seconds he was back asleep, completely oblivious to Scout Jumping back on his bed and climbing onto his back. She curled around the small Kirby toy, using it as a pillow as she settled back into sleep herself.

()()()

When Will woke up again, it was to a light weight in the center of his back, right below his shoulder blades. He huffed, glaring at the wall. He took a deep breath, then heaved himself up with all his strength. As predicted, Scout was catapulted off, and he quickly got out of bed, heading to the kitchen.

He made himself some toast, checking his phone on the way. The group chat was mostly just full of the various reactions from Lisa and Mason. Sammy had come back at some point, going on a rant about what Stacy hadn't told him.

He read over the various comments as he  ate, able to tell where they were in the document. Unsurprisingly, Mason finished it first, and Lisa was intent on meeting Scout. Sammy had told her Scout was nothing special, which Will privately agreed with. He finished the back reading and, seeing as nobody was online at the moment, locked his phone again. He picked up his toast and moved into his work room for the time being, deciding to get something done.

It was easy, really, for Will to get lost in his work. Dissecting the "toys" he brought home, taking them apart and recording it in his notes. He was currently working on the body of the head he'd been looking at last night. The brown, fuzzy thing was strapped securely onto the table, the front having been sawed apart and spread open.

He shifted through the innards, making careful, detailed notes about what was in there. He would compare them to the stolen blueprints later, figure out what was supposed to be in there and what wasn't. For now, though, the intention was to make a catalogue of parts.

When his phone alarm finally went off, signalling it was lunch time, he straightened up with a sigh. He pulled off his rubber gloves and, making sure the straps on the table were tight, went out to the kitchen. He made himself a simple sandwich, eating it in the kitchen as he glanced through the group chat. Mason and Lisa were on and currently discussing things, but Sam hadn't been on again since his rant.

He lurked a bit longer after he finished his sandwich, then got up to go back to work. On the way through the living room, he paused when he saw Scout sitting on the couch. She was curled up in the corner, Kirby plush on her lap as she stared at it. Even as a Puppet, he recognized the look on her face as one Stacy had often worn in the first year after her mother had died.

'Why the hell do I feel so bad for that thing?' He sighed, rubbing at his face. Making a snap decision, he went over to his DVD shelf and pulled out The Iron Giant.  He turned on the TV and player, then loaded in the movie, skipping the previews. When he reached the main menu, he selected play and dropped the remote near Scout. He then left, heading back towards the basement and his work.

Scout watched go, staring silently after him as he once again disappeared behind the locked door. She didn't even try to follow him, instead settling in to watch the show he'd turned on. With any luck, it would be violent and/or funny enough to take her mind off of things.

()()()

'That is the saddest shit I have ever seen...' She sniffed, rubbing at her frustratingly dry eyes. 'I can't believe he let himself get blown up like that. What the fuck.' She rubbed at her eyes some more, then tried to figure out how to choose a different show. When she couldn't figure it out, she threw the remote down in frustration. 'Fuck it! Where's Will?'

She Jumped from the couch, heading over to the locked door. She peered in the crack between the door and the floor, but couldn't see anything. She could hear, however, and what she heard were power tools. The sound sent a shock through her system, dredging up unwanted memories of Riley's lab. She drew back, then jumped onto a nearby table when the noise stopped. Thinking quickly, she opened the drawer that was there and tried to pretend that she had been going through it.

Will came out of the room a minute later, wiping his hands with a dirty towel. He glared when he saw what she was "doing". "What the hell are you doing? Get out of there!" It wasn't quite yelling, but his voice was definitely louder than it needed to be. Scout suppressed her fear and scoffed.

"Fine. There wasn't anything but batteries in there anyways." She slammed the drawer closed, feeling a small, petty joy in how the contents rattled around when she did. She watched him cross to his bedroom and, when he'd closed his door, opened the drawer back up in order to snoop for real.

Batteries, keys, some weird plastic clips, and other odds and ends she didn't have words for had been organized neatly in the drawer. Working quickly, she shuffled everything around even more, then shoved a handful of what was sitting on the table into the drawer. She then closed it again and sat back as innocently as she could, tilting the shade of the lamp next to her. When Will came back out, now dressed in different clothes, he sighed and fixed the shade.

She watched as he gathered up a couple of things, then came over and grabbed up a set of keys she hadn't dumped into the drawer. There was a pause, or maybe more of a hesitation, and then he scooped her up and left the house, ignoring her protests.

"Hey! Hey lemme go! H-mmph?!" He easily covered her mouth with one hand as he locked the door. He made his way to his car, not letting her go into he'd climbed in and dumped her in the passenger seat. "What was that for?!"

"Okay, here's the deal." He told her, ignoring the question. "We're going to go see Stacy. To do that, we have to go through a whole hospital full of people. And you will be quiet and good the whole time, or you will be going out the nearest window."

"We're going to go see Stacy..." That was the one thing she had really comprehended. Her Host was alive, Scout knew she had to be. If she wasn't, then the Puppet wouldn't have long to-

It didn't matter. She didn't matter, not after what almost happened. Not after what she almost did, accidentally or not.

She was jolted out of her thoughts as Will started the car, realizing belatedly that he'd continued talking to her. She hoped he hadn't noticed she wasn't paying attention. Whatever he'd been doing behind that door, she did not want to become his next patient.

In the silence of the car ride, Scout easily lost herself in the thoughts swirling through her head. The most prominent were thoughts of guilt, knowing she was to blame for this and wondering where she had gone wrong. Maybe she hadn't tried as hard as she should've to subjugate her Host back in the Studio? Or maybe she shouldn't have stayed with her after they escaped. Maybe she should have left after making sure Stacy was okay.

'Maybe I should leave anyways.'

She missed it when Will parked, only noticing when he picked her up. She let herself stay limp, though not so much out of compliance than a desire to try and keep working on the plan that had come to mind.

Vaguely, she was aware of the clean white halls Will was taking her through, as well as a nauseating smell that reminded her of Riley. A few other unclaimed Hosts like Will, though wearing clothing that, again, reminded Scout of Riley. She watched  those ones carefully, just in case. She may not like Will, but Stacy did and she didn't want something to happen to him.

Will came up to a door, opening it and peeking inside. Scout tried to look, but could only see the very end of a weird looking bed. Whatever he saw he seemed to like, as he fully entered the room, kicking the door closed behind him and approaching the bed.

"Hey Stacy." He began quietly, and Scout felt her stuffing go cold at the sight of her Host in the bed. Her normally warm brown skin was several shades paler, and there were dark circles under her eyes. She was mostly upright, though leaning heavily against the pillows behind her. The scariest thing, though, were the several tubes connecting her to various machines by the bed.

Scout felt another cold rush of guilt when she saw how Stacy's eyes lit up when she spotted them. She waited for her to say something, anything, but the Host didn't speak, instead lifting her hands to use that weird hand language.

"She can't talk right now." Will translated. "She had to be intubated and her throat still hurts. But, for some reason, she's happy to see you." He sounded annoyed by that, and Scout couldn't help but be confused. Surely Stacy knew about what she did.

'Unless she doesn't.' The Puppet realized. 'She doesn't know shit about how it works. She had no idea what I almost did to her.' Somehow, that didn't make it any better.

Against her will, she was handed over to Stacy so Will could go set down the bags. Stacy hugged her tight, and Scout couldn't help but curl up in her hold, clutching at the weird shirt she was wearing.

She ignored the humans as they talked, or rather as Will talked and Stacy did one handed signing. Instead she stared at the tubing connected to Stacy's arm, watching the clear liquid slowly drip it's way into her body. She didn't know how long she stared for, but she must've dozed off at one point because she suddenly became aware of her hair being stroked.

It couldn't have been too long, as the room was still bright, though she couldn't hear Will anymore. Instead there was a quiet, steady beeping that matched up with Stacy's heartbeat. It was relaxing, and brought up memories of when Scout had first woken up, all those years ago. Before she'd been made to take part in Riley's "tests", or found that TV. Even before she'd met her siblings and learned who and what she really was. Those first few moments when it had just been her and Daisy, enjoying the gift of life.

She almost wished she could go back to that point. Things were so much better back then, when her world consisted of Daisy's sewing room and her siblings. When she didn't have a Host to worry about accidentally killing, or her own people coming after her.

But she wouldn't have to worry about that for long. If her plan ended up working, Stacy wouldn't be in danger ever again.

[kinetic-elaboration]

February 3: Mr. Robot 3x09

So this was episode was pretty different from the last!

Last week's episode feels even more like a quiet, slow respite in comparison to this one. Actually, the last couple of episodes do, because Frederick and Tanya was mostly about Mobley and Trenton. And two episodes before that was the highly stylized single-shot ep. Now we're fully back to several different story lines all up to 100 happening at once.

I like it but I cannot honestly explain what I just saw or precisely what happened, plot wise.

The Dom and Darlene scenes were among my favorites of the whole show, first because I love them both, and second because I DO ship it, even though of course it's obvious Darlene was playing her the whole time. But like... I do think she likes her also. And seeing this other side of Dom... Seeing her nervous and trying to flirt and failing, pretending she doesn't herself know what she's doing, then fighting with herself about what she wants and what she thinks is right or wrong. And the spy game stuff of Darlene getting into the safe... all awesome. And then Dom later like showing her loyalty to the Bureau—I will report my sex life to the federal government. And Santiago wanting a minute-by-minute accounting lol.

Speaking of--almost as good was how close Dom got to Santiago. Again, I am struck by how well plotted this show is. Like, this is a little more than a season away from the finale, but it could almost have been the all-too-happy, all-too-sudden ending of the whole thing. If it weren't for Santiago, if the Dark Army WEREN'T in the FBI, then Darlene could have clued the FBI into Romero's deus ex machina keylogger data, and they could 'undo the hack' and then that would be it! I mean plus all the other threads, but that could be a major part of the neat and tidy conclusion. But instead, it just sets off a different domino effect because of the presence of the well-established mole.

I didn't entirely follow all of the Elliot and Mr. Robot and Tyrell stuff. The out-of-order timeline thrown in there casually among all the OTHER stuff that was happening made it hard for me to figure out exactly what was happening there. I got that Elliot used the fake out of Stage Three to get the meeting with whiterose ('s boyfriend) and then own the Dark Army and that he was also simultaneously relying on Darlene and the Sentinel hack, that is, he would take down the Dark Army while she saved ECorp, essentially saving the day somehow I suppose. But the emotional journey of Mr. Robot I don't get as much.

I know he went to Tyrell's in order to yell at him, I guess, and then Price comes and gives Tyrell the CTO figurehead job, and schools Mr. Robot about being a real leader, and Tyrell and Mr. Robot together basically become bitter and angry? And then Tyrell tells Mr. Robot about the mole. And then Mr. Robot goes home and googles Sentinel and Tyrell and then he goes away and Elliot is back. That's all I really remember/understood and it doesn't feel very clear to me. I'm not saying that's on the show; it's on me because I just wasn't following it as well as the other story lines, probably because Mr. Robot and Tyrell just interest me less lmao, so I wasn't paying good attention. It's also possible that it just ISN'T as clear, because there is a lot of the unsaid in this show.

My mom suggested that Mr. Robot, knowing or predicting that Elliot would try to hack Sentinel, was trying to give him a message about how particularly dangerous this would be, which is plausible, especially since I think Mr. Robot knows more about Elliot (the Hacker) than vice versa, but again, the timeline is a little uncertain for me.

Angela is full on gone by now. Her sleek apartment being turned into a fortress/bunker was truly disturbing, and the most disturbing part wasn't the mess or the pictures of unknown stuff on the walls or the 50 locks on the door but how she kept all of these small objects that had been in the room with her when she was brainwashed. Like, she really doesn't have control of herself right now. She IS A puppet.

Grant is really coming into his own. That last scene with him and whiterose was very interesting. The last time I saw whiterose, I felt like it was really being revealed that she was the master all along—not locked in a match of wills with Price but always his superior, putting him into and taking him out of power at her whim, just like she does everything at her whim. Now... I don't know. I don't think this ep contradicted that reading exactly, but it did show how she is truly unhinged and starting to unravel more and more. In other words, there may not be anyone above her, but she’s certainly not in control either, possibly not even of herself. She’s not infallible and she doesn’t always, immediately, get what she wants. And so her sort of ceding to Grant at the end—and why switch to Mandarin? And make her voice softer?—don’t entirely know what to make of it or if I’m even making sense now lol. This is all a coherent thought somewhere in my brain. At any rate Grant felt like her partner more than her boy toy for the first time.

I don’t like the casual mention of ‘oh btw martial law’ just slipping into dialogue because while I love the world building on this show in general, and recognize that a lot of major aspects of the post-5/9 world are shown in bits and pieces in the background (like the whole Congo plot! Which is pretty important to the overarching narrative!), the very throwaway nature of the line made me think that actually, they’re not aware in the writers’ room of what martial law is. It doesn’t mean what you think it means. It’s not a synonym for “armed police presence” or “curfews” lmao. And frankly after last summer, which I know post-dates this show, I get more upset at the idea of the phrase being thrown around casually and incorrectly.

A few more random thoughts: I love/miss Romero and I appreciate how his character largely existed to show how everyone else in fsociety was basically just a child lol. Not literally but he WAS the adult in the room. Darlene was hella hot today. Price is THE best villain of all time I will not be taking criticism on this post. I appreciate the use of a Joey Bada$$ song in the bar scene. Leon versus Angela was a show down I didn’t know I needed but I am living for it.

Only one more ep left this season! I saw the finale but I never saw the majority of S4 because I thought I’d do a re-watch first…and it’s taken me until now to do that. So I’m pretty excited to finish this season up and see the conclusion.

[farmerlan]

Farmer Lan’s Rewatch Guide to The Untamed - Episode 3

LOL I mean…where do I begin or end on this one??

[The Jiang gang arrive at said tavern and are told that the tavern is booked up by some rich dude. Introduce Mianmian, who is about to go put some herb sachets in the rooms. WWX teases them and does a cute pun with her name, they relent and say it’s fine for the Jiang gang to stay.]

Differences from the novel:

In the novel, JYL DOES NOT go to Gusu with JC and WWX. She remains in Yunmeng.

There is no tavern scene. They do not run into Mianmian until Chapter 52, which is the Tortoise of Slaughter flashback arc.The scene with Mianmian is in the novel. But WWX does this to obtain one of her herb sachets, really for no reason other than because it smells good and he’s a flirt. In Chapter 54, the sachet ends up coming in handy as they manage to find useful herbs in there for LWJ’s leg injury while trapped in the cave. In Chapter 112, WWX finds out that LWJ actually stole the herb sachet off his body while he was passed out in the cave out of jealousy, and has been using it as his coin purse.

[The Jiangs deduce it’s JZX coming to stay and right then and IN COMES JIN ZI XUAN, all filthy rich and snobby. (JC & WWX calls him Jin Xiao Gong Zi (Young Master Jin) which is actually the nickname used to refer to JL in the novel, not JZX.) WWX exchanges snarky words with JZX, JYL decides they should stay somewhere else. JYL and JZX run into each other again on her way out and there’s this awkward exchange of glances (I can’t tell is JZX pretending to go to the wrong room on purpose??). It’s revealed there’s an arranged marriage between JZX and JYL.]

Differences from the novel:

We do not encounter JZX this early – the first time JZX is introduced in the novel as a character is in Chapter 18, right before WWX fights him for being a Grade A snob and speaking poorly of JYL. The corresponding scene for this part of the novel is the fight that will happen in Episode 7, so we’ll talk about that then.

The drama did a really good job with portraying the haughtiness of JZX! He’s arguably more likeable in the show as the scene of him apologizing to JYL for barging into her room wasn’t even in the novel. In the novel, it’s also explained that he’s bitter because firstly, he thinks JYL is not good enough for him and secondly, it’s an arranged marriage. According to the author’s description in Chapter 18, in terms of credentials, talents and looks, JYL would not be considered outstanding, and JZX would probably have married someone of more ‘equal’ standing if not for JYL’s mom and JZX’s mom being sworn sisters. We all know he comes around later on and JYL is flawless *chef’s kiss*, but it’s interesting to note that it’s not ENTIRELY just JZX being a little arrogant shit looking down on people. 

[Jiang gang arrive at Cloud Recesses but are denied entry because they left their invitation at the tavern. WWX attempts to talk his way in, LWJ arrives (wow swoon-worthy moment), behind him comes a man on a stretcher.LWJ is insistent they are not getting in without an invite and puts a silencing spell on WWX after his repeated protests, but relents later, although WWX isn’t there because he’s off to the tavern to recover the invitation.

WWX comes back, breaks the curfew wards and scales the wall with his Tian Zi Xiao liquor, except he runs into LWJ immediately and tries to bribe him ha. LWJ is not amused and they exchange blows. WWX says I’ll just finish the liquor on the roof and begins to talk about how LWJ is a relentless and rigid guy before being silenced again lmao.]

Differences from the novel:

Yo…where do I begin lol.

There’s no invite and no entry drama, the first time WWX meets LWJ is in Chapter 13. WWX does try to smuggle in alcohol at night while LWJ happened to be on night patrol, which leads to their scuffle in the courtyard as portrayed by the drama. The next day, NHS was about to caution WWX to not get on LWJ’s bad side during his time at the Cloud Recesses and the conversation basically went: WWX: “Does he wear all white, carry a silver sword, possess good looks but also has an expression like he’s constantly in mourning?” NHS: “How did you know?! Did you meet him?? No one has seen him because he’s been in seclusion.” And WWX recounts the events of last night to him and JC. NHS and JC are like, “Good luck he probably hates your guts now” and WWX is all, “There’s no way he’s in our class/after me, he’s probably too busy meditating” right as they see LWJ glaring at him through the classroom window ha.

In the novel LWJ is described as a prodigy and apparently somewhat of a household name among sects – prior to meeting him, WWX knew of him as one of the Two Jades of Lan.

In the novel, WWX does not get silenced by LWJ until Chapter 14, when he is punished by LQR and supervised by LWJ while in the Library Pavilion. There are some differences in the novel vs. the drama as to what exactly WWX did to deserve the punishments – I’ll cover that in the next couple of episodes as we see them play out.

Overall Thoughts

I know, where did the rest of the episode go? To be honest, the entire remainder of the episode is NOT in the novel at all.

This means:

There is no corpse puppet being controlled by the Wen sect. LWJ is not tasked by LXC to investigate missing cultivators. There is no scene where WWX is apprehended by LWJ and meets with LQR and LXC. In the novel, they simply fight and WWX escapes - it is not specified exactly HOW he got out of it, but presumably the fight probably ended in a draw or WWX winning because upon hearing WWX’s account of the story, NHS says “Are you trying to get yourself killed?? I don’t think LWJ has suffered humiliation like this before.”

Sorry, this means there’s no cute scene of LXC telling LWJ to befriend WWX, although don’t worry, LXC is still their #1 shipper in the novel.

Wen Qing does not go to Gusu Lan with Wen Ning to ‘study’ while secretly searching for the Yin metal. In fact, Yin metal is non-existent in the novel. In the novel, WWX becomes the originator of demonic cultivation due to the events at the Burial Mounds, and the Wen clan has nothing to do with it. WQ and WN show up much later in the novel.

Xue Yang is an antagonist in the novel, but he had zero connections to the Wen sect. He did, however, massacre the Chang sect, for reasons similar to what was portrayed in the drama (thirst! for! vengeance!)

LWJ did not tell WWX to copy the Gusu principles 300 times. However, WWX does get punished, as we’ll see in the next episode.

The whole scene with Wen Ruohan does not happen. In fact, WRH has maybe 5 lines of dialogue in the novel total, and most of his character is revealed through actions described by the author (e.g. the sacking of Yunmeng, the burning of the Cloud Recesses etc.) He is portrayed to be a hostile megalomaniac with a fondness for torture in Chapter 49 so they’re definitely on point with the character portrayal though.

Essentially, to create a stronger story arc for the drama while still trying to maintain the interactions between characters, the drama writers had to change the Wen sect to become more of the overarching ‘big baddie’ and created the Yin metal to serve as a way to tie in all of the conflict in a way that still makes sense.

As a side note, I might start typing on individual character names because I am getting tripped up by the number of Js in the acronyms HAHA. JC, JL, JZX, JGS, LWJ...there’s a lot.

[mastcrplanncr-a]

issue #23 made me really heccin’ emo over eggman and sonic. i was prepared for it, but also ?? not prepared??? holy frick im just gonna ramble under the cut.

first of all, i’m just gonna’ idly ramble about some things i noticed.

Eggman, literally 11 issues ago:

he makes these off remarks and then changes his mind whenever it’s convenient for him smh. that or hes a freaking liar and. WELL THAT’S PRETTY TRUE HONESTLY.

i’ma be honest fam starline is a freaking mood rn. it’s ?? so dumb?? LIKE EGGMAN WHERE IS YOUR FUCKING FAILSAFE UR SOLUTION WAS “not touching the robots hurr durr” PL EASE.

In retrospect, though, this is an interesting parallel to Forces because he’d apparently learned from his mistakes. TBF, and it has been brought up elsewhere on tumblr, this is a man recovering from amnesia. He must’ve just not gotten to that part. OR HE’S JUST. DUMB AND ARROGANT. Like, yeah, sure, there’s no vaccine - lol the heroes can’t fix anything & it also means you’re valuable because you’re the one person who can. BUT COME ON EGGMAN.

my friend actually predicted this holy shit. i was rambling abt a discussion we had in the egg cult, where we were talking about the possibility of sonic infecting eggman to blackmail him into getting the cure because he’s reached the point?? hes so done with eggman’s shit??? all his friends are in danger and hes backed into a wall what else is he to do than do the one thing he doesn’t want to: use eggman’s tactics against him?

and my friend was like:

LIKE. IT IS A HUGE RISK, and Sonic went FOR IT. I’M SCREAMING TBH.

THIS CONFRONTATION WAS SO FUCKING RAW YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. I thought I was ready for it but I really, REALLY wasn’t. I love the little details of Starline bein’ like: “oh fuck” - usually he’s pretty cocky around Sonic but uh. HE’S INFECTED NOW. And the zero remark - idk if that’s intentional on the writer’s part but ZERO TO HERO anyone?

anyway toxi broke down crying at this point. you have no idea how much i was sobbing over my blue son just. pouring out his heart to his nemesis. that’s top tier tearjerking material.  also starline passive aggressively readjusting his outfit lmfao. BITCH IM FABULOUS. but man the usage of ‘ BE’ and ‘LIKE’ - Sonic knows who Eggman is; he’d never ask him to be something he’s not. but it’s also a reiteration of sonic’s want to see good in him; being LIKE tinker is a statement in that he wanted eggman to be who he was, but NOT to go back. to do good for the world. have it be his own decision, because deep deep down:

isn’t that what he really wants?

Also, although there are those sickly sweet descriptions, the usage of ellipses in this narrative really fucks me up because you can practially hear the gradual realization in eggman’s voice. his mockery starts out so !!! but it just eventually gets straight to the point, as a list. as a routine. because he was used to it. and because, some part of him misses it. notice the usage of ‘need’ and ‘use’. they needed him, and yet he used the people that appreciated him sm like puppets.

some nice guilt there, huh, doc?

ALSO I SPENT LIKE, HOURS TRYING TO FIND THIS EXACT DIALOGUE, but Eggman has a conversation in Dark Brotherhood with Sonic and makes this remark:

LIKE??? this isn’t new to his character, actually? Ignoring the ken penders thing bc smh. Going by this game he’s actually kind of okay with that set up. And he just works so well with the others too??? this isn’t even taking into account the other games he’s teamed up with them. I’m sorry but my head just goes back to this line so many times; it’s one of the ones that stick with me, along with ‘complicated guy’ from lost world. HE COULD!! legitimately do good. and he actually doesn’t find it too bad??? IM EMO MAN...

and IMAGINE making super cool things that people genuinely like... eggman has a HUGE ego, that much is very apparent; he’s super big on appreciation as comes with. and with tinker? he had that - he felt appreciated and loved. people LIKED what he made, and he didn’t have to bend over backwards to have that. his work felt included and he didn’t have to take that appreciation by force like he did with his lackeys (which half the time was fake anyway) .

first and foremost - WE SEE THAT OPEN YOUR HEART REFERENCE, IDW. also sonic’s frustration here, in comparison to the lil smile the panel before - he’s just!! “WHY CANT YOU WAKE THE FRICK UP OLD MAN”. the justification here seems a tad bit like DENIAL to me. and the justification seems... kind of odd from him? since when does EGGMAN justify anything he does? He does what he wants and when he wants, because he’s the E.G.G.M.A.N. he doesn’t care what anyone thinks... right?

it’s because - especially with the usage of better - he didn’t like where that train of thought was going. for once, he’s justifying himself - because the alternative is admitting sonic is right. that he did like that life. that he’d want to go back. throw it in a hierachy and it’s all so simple, right?

also the inclusion of open your heart lyrics here. the incident with chaos was just as catastrophic. and these lyrics in context of the previous panel, highlights how sonic and eggman both seek unity and peace but in their own ways; eggman’s is just evil. it seems a little bit of a diversion to me - to antagonise sonic and make him forget about it. what better way to do that than to relate to him? ‘own styles that we won’t change’ highlights a stubbornness in ways, too, especially with the current context of eggman denying his old life. ALSO IT IS LITERALLY TELLING EGGMAN TO OPEN HIS HEART.

and ngl this seems like idle banter to hide the fact he genuinely felt remorse for his actions for a second. because lbr he has a habit of being all talk when a plan goes wrong or suffering inside,

which starline does quite pointedly explain.

As I was saying above, Sonic has no choice in what to do now - he’s reaching his limit. OR ELSE. hes pondering doing the thing he doesnt want to do. and honestly, ‘you can’t stop me. no one can,’ is so hardhitting not just because of its looming threat, but because of how much it solidifies for sonic that he can’t take the chance anymore. if anyone is going to change eggman, it has to be himself.

also can i just cry over how much sonic trusts tails. im getting sa2 flashbacks.

also man i’d like to point out the specific use of ‘lock you away forever’. it coooould be a reference to sonic’s time imprisoned during the events of sonic forces. bitterness?

NOT SAYING I CALLED IT, BUT I CALLED IT. it still hurts though. and wow, it really is horrifying when eggman fears his own heccin’ creation, huh?

i live for sonic being passive aggressive with eggman. give me more please.

im immensely concerned the direction starline is going, honestly. but it does say a lot about eggman; how he’ll keep trying the same things expecting different results, but failing and never seeing that. because he’s EGGMAN; every plan is brilliant by default!

i love how sonic just !!! SHOT... THE MOMENT HE WAS REMINDED WHAT WAS AT STAKE. son i love you so much you’re doing great sweetie

also, man, can we talk about eggman avoiding his blatant faults, and shoving his failures onto someone else? because this little scene here - eggman ur literally the one who crashed the thing. it had absolutely nothing to do with sonic. i feel as though this is symbolism of his self-destructive nature, honestly. hes always gotta make things harder for himself. (also starline’s face is killing me)

Eggman does what he has to, but technology won’t work every time you kick it. he thinks he can get everything through force but we have several instances in idw where force did NOT work out; you’re not gonna get far, egghead.

MHM, and just who does that sound like, Eggman? honestly the mirrors between these two are seriously destroying me. although sonic is in a horrible position, so is eggman; he likes to think he’s won the war, but hes surpassed his own expectations, and that’s going to backfire on him eventually. hes stubborn to admit he has NO REIGN over this and they’re all doomed, so he’s pinning his failures / loss on Sonic.

is that the amnesia kicking ya in the shin, eggman? or sonic’s reality check? either way, the doc hates emotions. dammit man why you gotta make him emo

future eggman is going to kick past eggman in the kneecaps. it’s times like this ur reminded how much of a kid he is. eugh but that’s work i want my victory and senseless destruction now. honestly if the doc is after success, he is certainly not getting it this way and I AM FEARING FOR EVERYONE’S LIVES. he’ll probably have to work with what’s left of the resistance like the back end of most games at some point.

I’m getting a little burnt out but i can’t forget my son and how much he hurts me.

first of all that third panel terrifies me. the fact it GOT that far does me great concern. the RED EYES? that’s pushing it fam i dont like that. the expressions are also just freaking destroying me; they’ve been PERFECT this issue. and the fact sonic is at his weakest when he feels like he’s failed everyone hurts me deeply. he has SO much on his shoulders and its getting too overwhelming for him.

also man... the whole thing with eggman... just stuff me man. but it hurts all the more because it’s so glaringly clear that there is?? some good in eggman??? he just. doesn’t want to admit it. and unfortunately these aren’t good circumstances to debate on that.

ANYWAY, THAT ISSUE WAS AGONY AND IM STILL REELING AND HAVENT EVEN. TALKED ALL THAT MUCH ABOUT SONIC HERE (on account of this being eggman’s blog) but idk if i’ll write anything on that.

gonna go cry about an egg now brb

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 291: The Endeavor Pamphlet

Previously on BnHA: Dabi showed up atop Gigantomachia’s back and was all “you’ll never guess who I really am!” and the readers humored him and were all “who?” and he was all “TODOROKI TOUYA” and we were all “WOW └(・。・)┘ OH MY GOSH I WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED”, except for Shouto and Enji who were GENUINELY SHOCKED. Anyway so Touya was all “and guess what I’m doing right now!” and before anyone could even try, he was all, “STREAMING MY EMMY-NOMINATED MINISERIES ‘HELLO, I’M EVIL BUT ALSO TRAGIC AND SEXY, NOW LET ME TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY DAD WHO SUCKS’’, THAT’S WHAT.” And everyone was all “oh my god” and Touya was all “ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ♪” for basically the rest of the chapter, and that’s pretty much it! Oh, wait, except for the part where he also doused himself in bleach in a fit of pure theatrics, which is actually pretty much the main takeaway from the entire chapter really because it was just wild af. ANYWAYS.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi introduces Baby Touya, the world’s most enchantingly sweet character, and is immediately all, “I sure can’t wait to tell you guys all about how his fucking jaw burnt off.” Thankfully he doesn’t (YET), and we cut back to the present pretty quickly, where Dabi explains how he took all of his brain cells that should have been used to stop him from pouring bleach over his head, and instead put them all toward his big brain plot of releasing an elaborate video detailing Endeavor’s various abuses and crimes, and even throwing Hawks under the bus as well because WHY NOT. He then leaps off of Gigantomachia’s back (like I said, no brain cells) all set to blast them with a Prominence Burn, only to be stopped by none other than THE LEGEND HIMSELF, MOTHERFUCKING BEST, PRETTIEST, NICEST, MOST OUTSTANDING MOTHERFUCKING JEANIST. Who’s no doubt outraged by the crime against hair he witnessed only moments earlier. GO GETTIM JEANY BOI.

so I haven’t had time to answer any of them because this has been the stupidest week, but I just wanted to tell you guys that I received no fewer than nine asks about Dabi’s hair. which, in a week filled with election memes and tumblr’s most cursed fandom briefly rising back up from the dead, is a pretty impressive feat for him if you ask me. like, I know I was making fun of it basically nonstop, but it sure did generate a lot of discussion so maybe I should rethink my opinions on Dabi’s PR strategies now, idk

anyway. it’s Saturday. time to catch up on this shit. let’s see how fucked the Todorokis are

OH NO HE’S CUTE

HOLY SHIT THIS IS TOO MUCH TO FUCKING PROCESS. I’M JUST TRYING TO ENJOY MY DAY HORIKOSHI, ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO TRAUMATIZE THIS POOR CHILD RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD

“thanks for being all right” the fuck

who allowed this child to be so cute. I’m serious. who signed off on this

how could a child this adorable possibly want to murder his equally adorable baby brother. please, your honor. there must be some mistake here

guess how prepared I am to read all about Touya’s tragic past. mm. that’s right. zero ready. none ready

anyway. TWO THOUSAND DEGREES LOLOLOL. NO TRACE OF A CORPSE HOW CONVENIENT. A PIECE OF HIS LOWER JAW BONE FFFFMSGHKLSh. LOVELY. LOVELY

LMAOOOOO

listen you guys. I just want to take a moment to appreciate that Horikoshi Kouhei did one of two things here. either (1) he planned it out FROM THE VERY START that Touya would be born with red hair Because Fire Powers, but would then have his hair turn white due to trauma, thus making the Dabi/Touya connection very slightly less obvious, although Let’s Be Real Who Are We Kidding. OR, (2) the anime got it wrong and gave him red hair, and rather than allowing this plot hole to continue to exist, Horikoshi took it upon himself to concoct this elaborate storyline and pretend it was never a plot hole at all! in which case I sure hope someone at Bones is sending him a VERY nice Christmas card this year. got this man sweeping up all your messes for you. you’re just lucky he has some sort of wild compulsion to address these things

anyways!!

FATHER AND SON. how sweet. :| still zero percent ready for any of this btw

STOP BEING CUTE

THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I’M SO MAD RIGHT NOW. HE IS THE SINGLE CUTEST CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE SERIES, and do you even know how many other baby characters I’m betraying in order to say that?! baby Kacchan, baby Deku, baby Ochako, baby Shouto, Eri, baby Hawks. I’M LOOKING YOU DEAD IN THE EYE RIGHT NOW AND TELLING YOU THAT BABY TOUYA IS CUTER THAN ALL OF THOSE PLEBS. AND YOU’RE LOOKING BACK AT ME RIGHT NOW ALL “YEAH IT SURE IS A PITY ABOUT HIS JAW MELTING OFF THOUGH.” THAT’S IT, I QUIT THE SERIES

and Enji’s smiling at him. he’s so proud of him. but then Touya won’t be able to do it, and Enji’s gonna stop training him, and Touya’s gonna feel like a failure and keep pushing himself in order to try and win his dad’s affections back, because that’s all kids fucking want, all they want is just love, that’s fucking it, you couldn’t just give him that?? and then he’s gonna immolate himself fflkdlskfh THERE YOU SEE HORIKOSHI, I KNOW THE WHOLE STORY ALREADY, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THE WHOLE “SHOW THEM THE DEAD DOG” THING YET AGAIN YOU PIECE OF SHIT

OH SNAP THERE GOES THE TWIN THEORY. R.I.P.

BABY FUYUMI. PRETTY CUTE. NOT AS CUTE AS TOUYA THOUGH. HEY LOOK, NO REASON TO GET MAD AT ME I’M JUST STATING A FACT HERE

YEAH THIS IS GONNA GO REAL WELL OH BOY

I keep pressing the emergency stop button but this industrial tragedy machine just keeps on chugging along anyway, I’m pretty sure this thing is not up to code

:| I am so sorry sweet boy, Horikoshi is only getting started with you

FUCKING HELL WITH THIS NARRATION

but he wasn’t actually a child to you, he was just a little puppet child for you to live vicariously through!! and then you went and did the same fucking thing with Shouto afterwards and never learned your lesson until just six months ago!! fucking hell, Enji

so now he’s all “Touya is dead, that’s an unforgivable lie” fflkdhflk motherfucker does he look dead to you. if you really think that, tumblr and twitter have got a little over five years’ worth of archived theory posts to show you

oh shit Touya’s countering with “it’s an unforgivable truth”, which, damn. I actually think Horikoshi’s dialogue is one of his weaker points as a writer a lot of the time, but that comeback was snappy as fuck

actually guys, now that I’ve seen how ridiculously fucking cute baby!Touya was, I can almost understand why Shouto and Enji never put the pieces together before lol. any passing similarities would have easily been dismissed on account of he’d need to be at least 10x more adorable in order to get the full resemblance

OH MY GOD

NOW YOU SLEEP??? SO YOU POINT BLANK REFUSED TO PASS OUT WHILE YOU WERE BUSY MAIMING ALL OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS, BUT NOW THAT THERE’S AN OPPORTUNITY TO SEE YOUR REACTION TO THE “YOUR LIEUTENANT WAS SECRETLY RELATED TO ONE OF YOUR WORST ENEMIES THE WHOLE TIME” BOMBSHELL, YOU FINALLY DECIDE TO GET YOUR FORTY WINKS. I SEE

WOW DABI

I’M SURPRISED YOU DIDN’T ALREADY HAVE YOUR ANCESTRY.COM RESULTS PRINTOUT READY TO FOLD INTO A PAPER AIRPLANE AND ZOOM ON DOWN TO HIM

LOL NEVERMIND

gotta say, so far The Endeavor Pamphlet is just about as spicy as I could have hoped

(ETA: Natsuo’s face as he watches his beloved dead brother come back to life only to literally and metaphorically set everything on fire in one fell swoop is :/. why must you do this to me Natsu. can’t you see I’m trying to throw a Welcome Back Jeanist party here.)

HAVE YOU READ THIS?! TODOROKI ENJI ABUSED HIS OWN HEIR, AND DABI WROTE IT DOWN RIGHT THERE

WELL HE’S NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT

btw I neglected to mention this last week, but yes I do recognize and appreciate that this is Can’t Ya See-kun himself whom Horikoshi has chosen to be the face of this existential crisis which the general public is about to experience. rip CYS-kun

OOF

excuse me. putting aside the implications of Dabi sharing this context-less murder video of Hawks with the entire world for a moment, I just have to pause for a sec here, because when exactly did he get a chance to edit this all in?? complete with voiceover that seamlessly ties in with the prerecorded footage of him with DNA test results sans shirt?? you’re telling me this motherfucker, with all the smoke that was in the room thanks to his own quirk, somehow got a PERFECT SHOT of the PRECISE MOMENT when Hawks drove his feather knife into Jin’s back, using his MAGIC CAMERA THAT HE I GUESS HAD THE ENTIRE TIME IN THE POUCH RIGHT NEXT TO HIS BLEACH BOTTLE, and then immediately somehow got this very next shot as well FROM AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ANGLE

ALL THE WHILE IMMEDIATELY RUNNING THROUGH SCRIPT REVISIONS IN HIS HEAD, WHICH HE THEN PROCEEDED TO RECORD... WHERE, EXACTLY?? WITH SKEPTIC, WHILST RIDING ON MACHIA’S BACK??

AND THIS IS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF???

and this after I just wrote that whole long paragraph positively GLOWING about this man’s ability to plug up a plot hole. jfc. just scratch out every damn word I said lol. just forget all of it

are you fucking kidding me, the footage was from the cameras Skeptic planted on Hawks??

that’s... actually... okay you know what, it still doesn’t make any sense in the slightest, but the determination to address it nonetheless... just, dammit... I feel like I’m constantly at war with myself over whether or not I want to shake this man’s hand or slap him lmao. whatever, then!!

anyway, since Shouto and Enji can’t actually see the damage that Touya is dealing to the hero industry even as they speak, Touya is taking it upon himself to give them the highlights

I think it’s a testament to how much Endeavor cares about Hawks that he managed to zero in on that comment even amidst all the craziness of his eldest son returning from the dead to announce how he’s been carefully plotting their destruction for years and years. like, he heard “Hawks” and his face immediately went like that. you think he’s worried that Dabi did something to him? because he’d be right to worry lol

so the Endeavor Pamphlet narration is now explaining all about how Hawks totally killed the Number 3 Hero Best Jeanist as well! yep... he sure did... totally...

OH MY GOD WE’RE CUTTING TO HIM AHHHHH

Hawks, that is. lol. not Jeanist. NO, JUST MY POOR HALF-DEAD WINGLESS BABY SON

NOOOOO HIS LITTLE WING STUMPS. BUT SOMEHOW HIS FACIAL HAIR IS STILL INTACT. OH TO BE AN ANIME PRETTY BOY BEING SET ON FIRE. “HEY, TAKE IT EASY, WATCH THE FACE”

EXCUSE ME WHAT

interesting! we suspected as much, I think, with the clues that Ending dropped, and the little flashback right after the name reveal. still not clear how Dabi found out about it though!

looooool okay here we go, breaking out the heavy-handed holier-than-thou shit now

you know, I do find it interesting how trying to model themselves after All Might’s noble Symbol of Peace image has kind of ended up being the heroes’ undoing here. like, I could write a whole essay on this, but what it basically boils down to is that they were all trying too hard to be perfect. All Might went out there and did his thing and was amazing, and so the powers-that-be built an entire system centered around this seemingly-infallible person, and they acted like the system was infallible as well. and so most of the population ended up becoming complacent over the years, and meanwhile the people who were unfortunate enough to fall through the cracks understandably wound up disillusioned and perceiving the heroes as these false idols

anyway, but I think one positive takeaway from this is that the new up-and-coming generation of heroes represent a breakaway from that system. like, imo what we’re witnessing is the downfall of the Perfect Hero, and the rise of the imperfect hero. and this new generation doesn’t shy away from their failures or pretend like they never happened. they pretty much can’t pretend, because their failures are all right out there in the open for everyone to see. Bakugou Katsuki, just to name one example off the top of my very biased head, has had his own personal character journey basically play out right in front of the media’s eyes. his humiliation at the sports festival, his kidnapping by the League, and all of the fallout afterward. this isn’t someone who can ever go out there and convince the world that he’s perfect. but what he can do, instead, is show the world that he’s trying. that he’s trying with everything he has to do his best, to be the best. rather than this untouchable godlike image, it’s instead the image of someone painfully human who is nonetheless striving with everything he’s got to keep moving forward, flaws and all, and work his way to the top

and ultimately I think that’s going to be a much more positive image to send out to the world when all’s said and done. because rather than merely inspiring awe, heroes like that inspire people to take action themselves. or at least that’s what I hope! and not just Bakugou, but the others as well. we’ve got Shouto, whose own personal trauma is being aired in front of the whole nation even as I sit here ranting. we’ve got Deku, who cries at the drop of a hat, and who fought to become a hero despite being quirkless (and I think it’s only a matter of time before that eventually becomes public knowledge as well). tl;dr because I’m getting way too long-winded here, but these kids have effectively been humanized in a way that the old generation never was, and I think that’ll go a long way towards building trust between them and the people they’ll someday be protecting, and inspiring the next generation in hopefully a much healthier way

anyway so where were we. ...oh yes, Dabi was explaining that heroes only protect themselves, and is presumably building up to his grand conclusion of “therefore you should all just let the villains take over and burn down the world”

omfg. YOU GUYS

DOES CAN’T YA SEE-KUN’S SHARK FRIEND ACTUALLY CALL HIM “CAN’T YA SEE-KUN.” HE HAS A NAME YOU KNOW!! UNLESS HE LEGALLY GOT HIS NAME CHANGED TO CAN’T YA SEE-KUN. OH MY GOD

ALSO, IS THAT CAN’T YA SEE-KUN CRYING IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT THERE OMG. GIVE THIS CHILD A HUG. EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW AND HUG HIM

BAKUGOU IS BARELY HANGING ON THERE LOL. GOTTA STAY CONSCIOUS... SO MUCH TEA BEING SPILLED... FOCUS... CONCENTRATE

IIDA’S ANGLING HIS HEAD IN A WEIRD WAY, LIKE DUDE. LOOKING SUSPICIOUSLY SNUGGLY THERE. MMM THESE IIDABAKU CRUMBS

HADOU IS ALL “WHAT EVEN IS ACTUALLY GOING ON” LMAO

LASTLY, POOR SHOUTO OMFG. WHEN YOU’RE ALL FINISHED HUGGING CYS-KUN THIS CHILD NEEDS YOUR ATTENTION!!

so now Dabi’s leaping off of this ninety-foot-tall gargoyle man like that’s a normal, smart thing to do. unless he can fly too now? saw his dad doing it back at Fukuoka and was all “hmm”

OH MY GOD SOMEONE TELL ME RIGHT NOW WHAT WORD SHOUTO IS USING TO ADDRESS ENJI, THESE TRANSLATIONS LOVE TO MESS WITH MY HEAD

ENJI GET MOVING DO YOU NOT SEE THOSE TEARS!!! SNAP OUT OF IT YOU BIG TREE

AHHHHH

OH KACCHAN YOU WOKE UP A LITTLE MORE THERE, HUH

lol he and Deku both look so determined but they’re basically sitting ducks. their “oh shit” faces do look remarkably like their “TIME TO SWING INTO ACTION” faces but don’t be fooled, they have one good arm and about six pints of blood left between the two of them. looks like this one’s all on you Shouto

-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH --

BAH GOD... WHAT’S GOING ON HERE... THAT’S BEST JEANIST’S MUSIC

y’all. can’t even talk right now, my brain has completely shut down lol. just. ...

  °˖✧◝(￣▿￣)◜✧˖°

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Estonia to Eurovision with a lowkey tribute to Avicii soundwise I guess

I’m not one of those people to go all their way out to overdefend Eesti Laul as “THE most diverse NF to ever exist songwise”, but even I was disappointed in this sudden rush of radiofriendly pop music that I would rather refuse to describe if I had to endure any of them ever again all at once this year. Remember - Netta won with being CRAZY! Why can’t Estonia be CRAZY even more! Was this secretly a bigger demand from the new producers or so that Estonia would need to out-radiofriendly the Latvians whose goal actually was to find a good radiofriendly song that’s enough for qualification????

Also, I kind of wanted to watch Eesti Laul, but I haven’t really settled with it, as I didn’t have enough patience to watch it one time it wasn’t on Saturday (!!). Even with Eesti Laul usually taking the live tweets from foreign fans into account and displaying some of them on the national Estonian television for good measure. And often showcasing their weirdness through crude animations every so often. But I already saw my Twitter timeline being full of that stuff, and for that I’m happy.

I did have some favourites despite being tired of all this pop stuff, and one of them was the ever-so-gender-ambiguous INGER (I say so cuz I thought it was a guy, turns out it’s a she, yeah), and I kind of wanted to see her win after the lowkey last minute interest towards her? But the televote didn’t seem to want any of it during the final public say, and didn’t even want Kerli (not the Spirit Animal Kerli) through despite of her being “hot” (are we now choosing ESC NF winners based on their looks??? tighten up ffs). Instead the final’s televote thought it’d be a good idea to fuck up the international jury’s expectations by putting through an act that got 2(!!!!!) finalised points from them jurors overall and making it win the superfinal. That televote 12 the act got beforehand was just enough for the guy to last-minute qualify over another act of 14 overall points, and who knows, maybe if it wasn’t for that 12, the winner would’ve been someone else. But it didn’t and we have a last minute qualifier victory because televote superfinal is a thing.

And in the literal sense of the way Estonian minds thought their victor that was unfairly treated by the juries was a Swedish singer Victor Crone and his song “Storm”, which was written by the one and only Stig Rastafarian~ err I mean Rästa. Stig is one mythical human creature that never rests a minute without really wanting to appear in the Estonian delegation somewhere every year - whether as all by himself, with someone else, as a songwriter for someone else, or even as part of a band (remember Traffic, anyone? Now that I think of it, the whole band looks like a puppet-act just for Stig to get to Eurovision and the other band members didn’t even want any of it in the first place). Just exactly what is Stig’s aim here? To "take it back to Tallinn”? To meet new people in Europe because he’s too lazy to travel otherwise? To boast about the many Estonian entries he contributed to? Beats me.

That and Victor Crone being Swedish, therefore a man more suited to Melodifestivalen (where he actually once participated in) and only on Eesti Laul because Stig really wanted to save his voice for this one and tag some randomer along with him just for the sake of yearly input to Eesti Laul. Well, at least Victor is historically joining Sahlene and Sandra Oxenryd as “a Swede represending Estonia for a year because what do we know for the Estonians that weren’t chosen instead”. Let’s check his song out.

First and foremost, as the title obviously states, the song reminds me of the late Avicii’s music style, especially around 2012-2013, when he was just starting to get bigger post-”Levels”-release. Just with a bit more singing surrounding the song because... well, maybe to fill up the song some more in order to not look awkward on stage during an instrumental part of the drop being as long as would be one you hear on the radio.

Then he has this easy-listening generic male radio voice that the audiences can not necessarily reasonate with, but it’s memorable, together with the chorus, whose purpose is to be memorable - you don’t need no message that’s special, you just need a melody to hum in your head for the next few weeks, and that’s basically what Stig was able to achieve with this little ditty. Then there’s the amazingly easy song structure: verse - chorus - verse - (extended) chorus - bridge - chorus (+ song ending). That’s a structure that works on basic songs to make them more user-consumption-friendly and not too overbearingly dragged out. And I enjoy it, just like I did “Light Me Up” last year, which was also sung by a mediocre-live-vocalist-Swede that could have easily ended up 6th in Melodifestivalen edition with such song, sadly. I do acknowledge that it’s basic, but I enjoy it.

The problem the Eurofandom finds with this song is that it’s too basic of a song from Eesti, Victor’s proven himself to be a dull live singer, and the chorus rhymes “like this” with “like this”, and all the self-rhymes are automatically shite. And it’s fine if a song I like has its flaws, but it automatically worries me that its live potential is automatically down the drain because of the singer’s lack of vocal compassion or strenght. That begs the question, why choosing THAT kind of song if it’s totally going to underperform live in Eurovision if the singer wasn’t sick in the NF at the time???

...oh I get it now, you Estonians must have thought Stig deserves another year in the Estonian greenroom. Or you found Victor hot. Or you find it great that a song about a storm actually was originally staged to look like Victor’s in a storm. At least for the televiewers’ eye. Because all that they see in the real arenas is the singers’ backs if they don’t turn around in time.

With visuals like these, why even need a music video! (except that there already is one, look at the beginning of the review)

All in all, all condiments are there: just the sugar, spice and everything nice there’s needed for a song like this to break a fandom like this. You can practically smell the Hesburger grease from this song. I don’t care if that’s a bad thing - if you like the song, that’s fine, just shut up and enjoy... but if you dislike it, welp, there’s no way I can change your mind then.

And a random backing singer. Not that she’s helpful as the one for Ott Lepland or anything, she just strikes like thunder and leaves no lasting impact whatsoever.

Greta Salóme’s imaginary cousin, is that you????

Now excuse me while I contradict and repeat myself some more in the next few paragraphs:

Approval factor: As you might have seen me shading Elina a lot last year, I can safely say that at last I’m spared from her vocal practice entrapped in a porcelain-and-silk dressing!!! I like “Storm” myself so I’ll sheepishly approve the hell out of it, lolol. :-)

Follow-up factor: I would be lying if I didn’t say that after a risky-ish way to get all out opera and then coming back to a safe song after doing well with that opera number weren’t a complete nosedive into an empty pool. Subjectively it flows way better for me, but objectively, and the same could be, once again, said for Eesti Lawl [sic] 2019, it is rather interesting of a letdown? But hey, maybe it was finally time for the Estonians to chillax a bit and cave in to send an Estonian-Swedish pop number after the opera stuff, after the 80s synthpop stuff, after the smooth and slightly orchestrated and a little bluesy number, and heart-grabbing ballads... just so they could keep up their ‘variety’ in case Hungary runs out of ideas and starts sending cop-outs of themselves. They already did it with rehashing one artist and one lyrical idea already this year (the catch is that the father’s alive!), honestly. And oddly enough, they have yet to send something a little more modern/electro-influenced that appeals to the common crowd... (”Running” may not count because not everyone can relate, whereas there are more cases of broken-off love (as if in the other half being a heartbreaker or the first half missing the other half so much that they feel “incomplete” than abusive fathers. Just what I think there is? If I’m wrong I obviously expect to be @’ed in the replies section lol) For this conclusion though I’ll say that my opinion says it’s a ‘’’decent’’’ follow up, but for Eurofans, it’s not very much so of such, idk.

Qualification factor: you may think it’s dead while going to perform in between the more badass entries AND mediocre live vocals, but it won’t at least be the worst Stig entry to ever place - around 14th in the semi at the very worst and maybe in the lower half of top 10 at very best imo. Nothing more, nothing less.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

I actually barely even bother with Eesti Laul since they don’t accept my Twitter comments live on their television anyways. Say, were there any Twitter comments live on their television this year? No one on Twitter boasted about it if they saw theirs from what I’ve seen, but what I’ve definitely found from the eager Eesti Laul watchers were some casual and usual Estonian oddities thrown on the broadcast, such as:

• The soft and warm but also random and deranged yearly transitional postcard animations (that were refered to as “crude” earlier in this review), which I commonly know now as “my last two braincells”. Even if the graphical theme itself of this year’s Ee-Lawl were oddly-shaped birds coming out in forms of letters, they didn’t really show up much in the broadcast I suppose, and the best fuckery with my mind this year definitely happened when I saw some of THOSE pop up on my Twitter timeline:

We now return to your regularly scheduled news programm~ wait why are you saying that the scheduled programme should be Eesti Laul

• Even if the most acts themselves weren’t that kooky musically, they were obviously interesting performance-wise. We were greeted with an impulsively quirky crazy cat lady Kaia Tamm who bemoaned the absence of the fluffy creatures in German somehow (you know Germany’s a terrible track-record keeper when the only song in German this year featured on Estonia and the only German in Eurovision this year was gonna be sung by an Ukrainian entrant if she was alowed to), as if a song in full Italian from last year wasn’t enough. Not only did she dress up as Alice in Wonderland with kitty ears, but her costumed dancers were entertaining, the violinist was FIRE and a cute large teddy bear looked cute on stage. Not to mention, someone have rightfully noticed that some costumed felines in the audience looked like as if they were to kill someone:

• Lumevärv too is an interesting thing. Never forgetting Lumevärv. This Inga woman, the fiery orangehead she was, used her 3 minutes on stage the best possible way with dancing with her back turned on at the audience and only looking at the camera, while millions of lights (which is sadly not what the songtitle "Milline päev" means) shone in the audience, creating an amazing mood.

• Hey everyone, the 10 years challenge is back! This time it’s with the violin virtuousess(???) Sandra Nurmsalu, the lead of Urban Symphony, who deserved much more than a 3rd place. Unfortunately the Estonians did not bring her back to get her desired revenge, which meant that they thought that they woodn’t need no magic tale fairy that’d grant them tree wishes and let her magic wand our out the wondrous [sic] sawdust. I’m already seeing myself out for how terrible this sounded. And it’s a bit saddening about this not doing as well as some hoped, considering she would have brough out the new and the better Jacques Houdek teas:

• Other favourite act of mine from this year, besides the aforementioned “ever-so-gender-ambiguous-looking INGER” with her indie-folk jingle “Coming Home”, was the charming disco-haired Sissi Nylia Benita with a wholesomely radio bop “Strong”, and they both actually looked like they stood a chance in the superfinal vote-up now that the actual Eesti Laul fan favourites, pretty cute pop boys like piano-indie-pop-driven Stefan and electro-pop-and-Kirkorov-driven Uku Suviste, were not receiving enough support by the juries I guess??? I’ll show a video to INGER if anything and link you all to the rest so you could judge these young and beautiful souls to yourselves in a way!

• Other note-worthy acts include another song about the notorious instrument horsefly in Ee-Lawl’s history that stood even less chance than “Parmupillihullus” but is still fun regardless, and the united forces of Tanja (EE 2014) and Birgit (EE 2013) trying to compose a bigband talk show anthem and dedicating the lyrics for them being ladies with their high heels out on. And honestly, that’s all I’m gonna talk of acts-wise because most other songs were THAT of a radiofriendly-radio-filler that they don’t warrant anything else exciting for me to say.

• No but for real, the voting to the superfinal was completely off-rails. Instead of Victor, juries were there to support that Kerli woman that wasn’t from 2017 (and her soft acoustic song too), as well as Sissi and INGER (but you already know that because I barely read my write-ups before I finish them, hence lots of redundancy). At least that’s all to my knowledge. But everything definitely changed when the televote attacked! And turned the top 3 all male, lol. This voting was rather random simply because the juries didn’t really love Victor, but it definitely took the televote to convince them that “lol Victor is definitely worth of Eurovision!!! screw that he’s non-Estonian!!!” (the difference is that Victor doesn’t have a big social media following unlike Bilal and didn’t win an obnoxiously people-powered talent show unlike USNK from A Dal 2018 - it’s just that he’s more backed by Stig Rästa, and Stig is love, Stig is life.) Honestly, I am all up for unpredictable voting, but if it looks unpleasant to me, then I feel like tuning out.

We’re over with this write-up, thank-fuck-fully, so that you won’t need to hear me lamenting how supposedly cheap “Storm” is ever again. But before that I will have to leave you with some Eurovision 2019 facts coming on: Estonian delegation can be lucky for once - instead of having had to panic for spending an egregious amount of money for a staging detail, this year they don’t have to worry, as the organizers were so shook by Victor’s stormy sky effect, they offered to pay for it themselves!!! Crazy, huh??? (reported for favouritism)

And now I’m done. And we’re moving on to another review and I end up wishing Victor Crone the every best of luck out there. Storm out with a good time well spent! (Whatever that might mean.)

[sparklyjacquelee]

Season 3 Rewatch – Beebo the God of War

Young Marty – right in the feels.

Beebo!

Hmmm, so if old Martin prompted young Martin to make a baby in 1987, how is Lily already five years old in 1992? I mean, pregnancy is a thing, right? I'll just assume they were very early in the year in 1987 and Clarissa got pregnant immediately, then I guess this still works since this is Christmas 1992. And maybe Lily was born early.

I did not realize that the Arrow theme is playing when Martin shoots the toy arrow until someone said it. LOL

Run!

Barbarians, LOL

Ooops, real barbarians.

The puppet. I will never get over the puppet. This show…

Amaya's reaction is my reaction. This is wrong. On so many levels.

Ray's question and Nate's comments are funny though.

Mick just hits the puppet. Of course.

I do want to know how Sara would have reacted to the puppet but I assume she just refused to talk to Leo on the account of not doing feelings.

Sara, no, boxing up feelings is not a good idea. For anyone.

Level 12, oioioi

Cool hat

Kicking ass is how we heal. Hm.

What the hell is a Beebo? You'll know soon enough.

Beebo hungry!

Wah, wah, Beebo love you!

Aw, Jax is cute here. Poor Jax.

Sara sees right through you Jax.

Young and lively. At peace. They are really bad at keeping secrets.

It never got explained why they always bump into things that are personally connected to them, did it? Or is it just Mallus and the Darhks doing this on purpose because they want the Legends distracted and therefore out of the picture? I guess.

Yuletide, nice.

Nope Ray, not a good idea. LOL

YAY AVA! This is what I'm here for.

Captain Lance! Finally she calls her Captain Lance! That’s progression!

"No. Okay, yes."

Beebo Day miracle. OMG

She is so cute, god.

"Never felt right." Yeah.

"No. Okay, yes."

And here she is. Seriously, this is so awesome. Just woosh, here I am.

Ava going along with a plan the Bureau wouldn't approve of whatsoever shows how desperate she is for something to go right after all the disarray in the Bureau.

"My goal is to do this peacefully, without any action." "First time for everything I guess." Amaya might still not completely approve of the Legends' methods, but she sure adapted to them.

We brought booze! Definition of this show. :P

But wait a second, didn't Leo just say that the Waverider is a dry ship now? Did Sara re-reprogram Gideon and then Leo reprogrammed her right after again so Mick doesn't get any of the alcohol? Probably.

Let's feast!

Meat leg!

"Nah, you look good!"

God that smile. I love that smile. That might be when I fell in love with Ava. Somewhere in this episode for sure.

There is Beebo! Thirsty Beebo.

Bad idea.

"Beebo will decide your fate." That's not a sentence you'd like to hear.

I will never get over Ava's facial expressions. Gaaah.

Or Sara's.

"Not really the husband kind." Hmmmmm. Sara is curious what that means. So am I.

Everyone is going "Really, Mick?"

That little headshake Mick does. LOL

Ava is confused.

And then she saves the day with improvising, love it.

And that little nod Sara gives, OMG. Approved!

Amaya, no, not good. "So damn huggable."

Leif can't get his sword out of its sheath, literally. Guess they didn't want to do another take and the actor doesn't go "shit, my sword is stuck", at least not overly visibly, so they just kept it. Still one of the funniest goofs for me.

Sara's eyeroll, awesome!

Hehe, Zari beating Jax in computer games. Of course she does.

"I'm also trying to beat you." You go, girl!

Why don't they just fabricate another Beebo for Martin? They clearly do later.

Let's play Beeboball! Just be warned, there could be random fires!

"I hate puppets." Well…

That heheeheeeheeeeheeeeee… dead is quite creepy, nice.

Odin Day, oops. That did not work.

Oh, look, it's the Darhks. Big surprise!

"I told you the Norse God costumes would work." Well, yeah, he did.

Amaya is confused by Sara retreating, cutie.

Ava approves though.

Gideon stating the obvious.

Ava hesitating and then immediately agreeing to contact the Bureau after Ray says Nora put Sara in a coma the last time they faced the Darhks is just… AWWW, you do care for them.

Zari, Sara knows what's up, you can't fool her.

Let's do Back to the Future. Or not.

Looking for booze?

I kinda really like the way Leo enunciates.

Good. Good. Good. Good.

No good news. Truth time though.

Ava and Sara sitting together on the table are so cute

"We can't afford to lose anyone else." "And I can?"

"I really am sorry, Sara." Sara! Aaargh

"Screw his orders. I need you here."

"This is not a fight the Legends can win." Pffft, do you know them?

"I have a plan." Hmmm…

Darhk just casually breaking Sara's neck was so shocking when I watched it the first time. Aaargh, why would you do that, show?

"Pretty's right." Yeah

Some sort of quip, evil but not too moustache twirly. LOL, I love them so much

Performance anxiety, hehehe

"Either we do this together or not at all." YES!

Sara is so confused but also happy that the team has her back

Yeah, Damien is not so easy to kill

"Hold, it is I, Beebo, risen from the grave!"

Doesn't mean science or evolution isn't real! Global warming is also real. Ray, you got the right priorities, LOL. This is about where I lost it I think. And where I decided that this is my new favourite show. Which is kinda ironic seeing that this was the last episode to watch at that time.

Woops, now the Vikings are all angry and Damien gets out his shock staff.

"Not this time."

Oh, noes! Mallus dimension.

YAY, Ava! "You came back!" "Like you said, you needed me." Could you be any more awesome? Guess not.

That little head tilt and the "yas". I love her so much!

"Wasn't my first time" Hmm, when did she visit an alternate dimension? Does she mean the alternate reality the spear created? Cause that wasn't her, technically, it was the other her. Or the shared hallucination in Invasion? Or Rip's brain? I'm kinda confused, because I don't think either Legends or Arrow ever did "alternate dimensions" per se before this.

"Aren't you afraid of getting in trouble for disobeying orders?" "It was worth it." God, they are so awesome!

"Our work here is done." Yep.

What did the letter say? 'Wear a bullet proof vest to Barry and Iris' wedding'?

Lily's Beebo will become Ronnie's Beebo and then Martina's and their families will tell them about how it ultimately saved the world. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I love Sara's attitude like, yeah, I might be the captain and have to tell you not to change history but doesn't mean I don't know you're still gonna try.

"You wanna leave? You can't leave." Aww, Sara is so heartbroken already but she would never actually even try to force him to stay. That's why I love her.

Hehe, Surprise!

And it's Yuletide. I love the touch of the wooden tables and plates.

"it's true, it's true"

"That's right, little brother." Waah. *sniffle*

I love them all so so much

Aztecs with jetpacks. OMG

Oh, look, it's John Constantine.

"Last time I saw you, I saved your soul" Sara is just doing a little head tilt like, so, and, what?

And that's it. Now on to Daddy Darhkest, for the first time being able to actually see it right after this, as it's supposed to be. So funny, it feels like a lot of time has passed between the two episodes because of the hiatus but in world, it's just a few moments. Weird.

[mcjour]

the other day S reached out of me out of the blue to ask about what happened during the retreat. kinda caught me off guard. also, I remember S was a toxic friend to the point where i knew i had to end it, but I think I blacked out whatever it was that she did due to (other) trauma. i literally don’t remember what she did. So that’s awkward. but we are friendly and have just casual conversations, so i can live with whatever pseudo friendship we have.

and honestly it was a good conversation. i gave her the play by play of what i could remember from each of the days. and she was like wow what a shitshow. but then she disagreed about the last day. long story short, if anyone is reading this without context, the second day we did this shitty ass cross the line activity that was highly triggering and traumatic for everyone, (in what workplace is it appropriate to say cross the line if youve been sexually assaulted and make eye contact with the people across the line and other similar intrusive questions) but especially hard for me given that i have quite a lifetime of trauma and cptsd on top of it. so by the next day, i had totally lost my mind. like full mental breakdown triggered by my ptsd, lost control of my mind and body, felt like i was drowning, having trouble breathing, had weird visions of me cutting myself, etc. So i said listen like i need to go home, i can’t stay here any longer i am very sick, i literally can’t stop crying and i don’t even know what is going on. but they forced me to stay so i sat out of the activity. it was a bad situation because they activity changed to be a conversation about race. i knew i shouldn’t sit out of it as a white person, but like i’m not kidding when i said that i was very sick. they made me make a split second decision when my brain was fried and i chose to sit out, thinking that the last thing that the people of color in the room needed was me uncontrollably sobbing in the corner and taking up space during a very tense conversation (there were other events that led up to this tense atmosphere). i fully intended to try to catch up on what i missed, but also knew it would be no substitution for the real thing.

anyway S was saying that if she was there, she would’ve been upset that i was in the room and i totally got that. if anything, i have been waiting to have that conversation since that day, but my therapist is not quite there to have that conversation, she’s a white lady and while i think she generally is good about social justice issues, she would definitely be like oh no! you’re not racist! kind of a thing. S and I were on the same page, I think. We agreed that i was very triggered in put in a bad position where like no matter what i chose would be a bad choice sort of a thing. it wasn’t anything “new” but it helped clear things up all the same. and maybe she is right, maybe i DID make the wrong choice. But like I said, both choices were bad and i was literally not even in the right mind to make any decision let alone that. S was also saying that she would’ve understood anyway, because this was like a one time situation and she knows i am constantly standing up and speaking up on social justice issues and she would know i was supportive even if i wasn’t in the room. 

SO yeah. i left that conversation feeling good. ok not good. but felt like i had some clarity and i thought it was a productive conversation and we both listened to each other even though we were initially kinda disagreeing.

anyway turns out that wasn’t the end of hte conversation. the next morning she was brining up some of the people we both knew and she also mentioned someone had been talking shit about me to her and i was like oh? and she sent me screenshots.

the screenshot looked like it was in june, so it was in response to something else, not specifically my latest expose LOL. 

but basically this girl V was like saying that i am biased in my hate against the organization, i can’t separate my feelings from what is actually going on, i was fired because i caused harm to my team and with teachers and never take accountability for my actions.

would love to know how V thinks she knows all this shit..? like where is she getting this info?? her own asshole??? or fed to her from my abusive boss’ friend? like?? what’s happening???

can’t separate my feelings from what’s happening?? ok... so where do you think my feelings are coming from if not from what’s happening....? did i just pull some hate out of my ass? like i don’t just hate shit for no good reason LOL.

yep, i did cause harm to my team and and i took accountability and i actively worked on it and got positive feedback for it. so i’m confused what is happening here. did i right every wrong before i was fired? no. but to say i didnt take accountability is ... wrong.

the thing is just that i don’t just view actions in a vacuum. so there were legitimate things happening that caused me to act the ways that i did. aka my abusive boss fucking with my head. of course i struggled to support my team when my boss made it clear that she would never consider me a part of the team. and i don’t say that to shift the blame from me to her. but you can’t just focus on me and not her role in that?

and it’s wild you say that i caused harm on the team and with teachers? because my boss did all of that and at least ten times worse than i ever did and she didn’t get fired.

ALSO they told me i was getting fired for my mental health issues. which is fucked up. maybe they lied and V is right? i doubt that first of all. but ok, even if they did, they did tell me i was leaving as a compelling personal circumstance, on good terms, would still be eligible for my scholarship. of course i never got that scholarship because they asked for wild fake documents. BUT if i was getting fired for doing such a bad job, wouldn’t they have told me that? or at the very least not told me i was leaving on good terms??? IDK is it legal to lie in an exit meeting? 

and also wtf is the harm with teachers???????? i know my boss accused me of shit talking her with the teachers but that simply was not true lol. a lot of teachers actually came up to me on their own accord to shit talk my boss LOL. they decided on their own that she was shitty, they had their own eyes and ears and brains. but even then i would redirect them and tell them to talk to my boss about their problems with her! the only thing i can think of was a situation with the teacher next door.

the teacher next door hated her cy. she liked me better. it was super awkward. she was also really good friends with my teacher. so i was put in a weird uncomfortable position where i liked her (as a friend/ coworker lol) so i felt awkward telling her off especially when there was this power difference of her being a teacher and then with her being friends with my teacher too. like if i told her to fuck off, would i ruin my relationship with my partner teacher? my partner teacher was all i had left because of the way that my abusive boss isolated me from everyone else. i admit that i believed this teacher over the cy and i have since talked to the cy and we both apologized and understood each other’s perspectives so like, as bad as i feel, there’s nothing else to be done, i guess. well, not that i could do anything so long after the fact anyway. and like it wasn’t llike i did absolutely nothing anyway. i kept in contact with my manager about it but like i was already overworked and underpaid and all that and sorry but im getting paid below the poverty line so trying to solve this weird dispute that has nothing to do with me is a bit above my pay grade

but here’s the kciker: this woman was literally a pedophile who was manipulating all of us! like me, my teacher, the cy, even up to the assistant principal! so hello! no wonder i felt so trapped! how the hell was i supposed to outsmart a pedophile at this below entry level job! and i don’t say that to get out of accountability, V. trust me, it eats at me to know that i was blind to a lot of fucked up shit that was happening. but once again, actions don’t happen in a vacuum. this woman was a manipulative mastermind and she used us as her puppets! dude i am 24 years old and this is my first job out of college and how the hell was i supposed to see that coming without any training. 

so i would love to know how v came to these shit ass conclusions without ever stepping into my school or into my life or having a single ounce of perspective.

which is so fucking wild to me because these people are working with highly traumatized kids????? so if y’all keep viewing everything through your stupid tunnel vision eyes then you are gonna fuck some kids up the way you fucked me up.

[survivorbouvetisland]

Lily’s Responses

QuilLynn:

Hey QuilLynn! Glad to see you’re still opinionated as ever. I didn’t expect you to put on any sort of fake niceness for this. Thanks for the question.

So, first, let me address the part about how giving credit to my competition makes me look pathetic. I’m simply showing respect for my fellow players who made it to the finale with me, even if it isn’t 100% deserved, and I think that that’s, like… the baseline expectation for a good finalist, the way I see it. It’s unfortunate that some people can’t even meet that, but I digress. Second, I’d like to address your comment about the idol play. Yes, I know that from an outside perspective, it may have looked like I just gave it to him and asked him to play it on me. It makes sense why you’d think that, honestly, but it wasn’t the actual story behind this, so let me tell you what actually happened. So, I figured, upon hearing that my name was out there, that an idol was all that could save my ass. Obviously I was wrong, but whatever. Anyway, I managed to actually find one soon after hatching my plan, and I managed to do the puzzle and get that done. But once I had the idol in my hands, a new problem came to mind. Looking at my past seasons (or at least, the ones where I’ve had idols and was deciding for myself what to do), I saw the pattern that I wouldn’t really play idols very accurately, and I wanted to take that personal flaw into account. So, my way of making sure things wouldn’t go to shit was to give Andrew the idol, and I told him not to play it. I mean, he didn’t listen, but I digress. So, that wasn’t really my plan, for him to play it on me and negate a whopping one vote, but I see why you’d assume that and it’s a fair enough question. To address the complaint about me “hibernating up Andrew’s ass”, this might just be due to how I was somewhat clueless when you ended up leaving the game, and also potentially in terms of how I ended up playing after your vote. It may look like I was just playing things in a “boring” manner, but then again, it wasn’t like many big moves were made at all this game after the super idol. Things were rather mundane, even if votes weren’t unanimous, going forwards. However, I don’t think my gameplay can be painted as me just sitting in the sidelines and sticking like glue to the majority, even if I managed to stay in that aforementioned majority. A good portion of my moves had to do with both jury management and keeping myself safe, whether it was making myself less of a target to the opposing side or making sure that my allies were on my side. And, just as one last note, I find it a bit funny that when my game was largely social and had to do with jury management, you drag it for being pathetic, and yet you also end up dragging Andrew for his lack of jury management. Hm.

Jacob:  

Thank you very much for your question(s)! I appreciate them, and will answer to the best of my ability.

In terms of the three pillars of Survivor gameplay, I’d say I probably value the social game quite a bit, despite some people potentially thinking that I relied on my immunity wins to make it to where I did. Like I described in my opening statement, the first swap was where I began to work to establish various alliances with players who I would find myself working with as the game went on (mainly you, Jay, and Andrew), which obviously relied on very good social skills. Then, once the merge came, I found myself on the bottom for a short while, but was able to once again utilize my social skills (and those past connections) to pull myself into a majority that let me make my way to the end of the game where you see me now.

On the topic of #Furbygate, people who were there that first night probably remember that I was closely sticking by Trixie’s side. I didn’t initially realize or even suspect that it was faked, and I’ve seen lots of people being made fun of in the past for special interests or things that traumatize them. I didn’t want to be one of those people thinking “lol it’s probably just a joke” and teasing her over it, in case it was real and I might’ve created a divide between us. It’s best to err on the side of caution in these scenarios for that very reason. And once I found out it was fake, I was shook.

When it comes to my immunity wins, it really depends which one you’re looking at. The plan might’ve been to vote me at Final 9 had I not won there, but it might’ve ended up somewhere else (like the super idol with Andrew and Nehe) regardless of my immunity, so that’s really a bit of a toss-up, although I have a slight suspicion that I might’ve been one of the early merge targets. As for the Final 4 win that guaranteed my seat here in the finale… I definitely feel as if that was a moment where I needed it. Not only would it leave Nehe as a threat to win, but I’d probably be left as the one on the bottom, either in a fire-making challenge or in just a straight up 3-1 vote.

If there was a final 3, and I was the one who was unable to make it (despite Bodhi being kinda absent now), I don’t think there’s any question in my mind that I would vote for Andrew. Not because I’m his puppet or anything, like SOME people might tell you, but because Bodhi was a fucking mess throughout this merge, constantly trying to play every single side in the early votes and throwing my vote away into the void as if I was just a pawn. It completely severed my trust in him, and if he thinks that that’s MY fault, then obviously he doesn’t have any awareness of his social game and how it affects others. Andrew, meanwhile, actually played a decent game and stuck to his alliances, keeping loyal and actually telling the truth when asked for it. I mean, sure, he did have that one silly idol play on me that I tried to talk him out of, but that’s really nothing much in retrospect. As for who I’d vote for from the jury to win… My choice would probably have to go to Jay. He was an obvious threat to win (as evidenced by the fact that y’all voted him out for that very reason), and if he had managed to get further I think he would’ve been a serious threat. And for Fan Favorite… Trixie. Furbygate was honestly iconic. That’s all I gotta say on that subject, especially when I look back on it, knowing it was fake. What a shookening move.

Trixie:  

Thanks for the question! Looks like you and QuilLynn are still kindred spirits, just as I remember things. I would say I’m happy to answer your question, if not for the fact that most of your concerns were already addressed in my answer for QuilLynn. If you read that over, things might become clearer. Thanks again!

Nehemiah:  

Hey Nehe! Thanks for the question!

So, loyalty means a lot to me too, which is why you won’t often find me flipping on alliances too often unless I think it's the optimal thing to do in order to further the game. In this game, I think my greatest display of loyalty was, in all honesty, towards you, up until final 4. You were part of the main alliance that I was in, even if you didn’t seem fully on board with me being there, and despite your constant votes against me, I always stuck by your side, keeping you on board even when I could’ve flipped things around and taken you out.

Nicholas:  

Hey Nicholas! Thanks for the question, and thanks again for not letting your dislike of me factor into your vote. As for your question, I have to thank you yet again, because I've already answered it and won't have to answer another time :P You can consult my answer to QuilLynn for that.

Jay:  

Hey Jay! Didn’t expect much else from you with this question :P Thanks, btw. I’ll be basing most of my answers off of side games (mostly Pokémon Mystery Dungeon) that actually give personalities to the Pokémon, for the sake of making this somewhat easier. Jay: Not even in regards to your profile picture, but I’d label you as Grovyle, due to your constant perseverance in games like these, being viewed as a threat, and your unbreakable loyalty to your allies. QuilLynn: My choice for the Pokémon to represent you, QuilLynn, would have to be Skuntank, due to how he constantly chooses to remind the main characters (or in this case, the finalists) that they’re weak and puny (or in this case, incompetent and/or egotistical). Trixie: Trixie, if I had to pick a Pokémon to represent you, I’d go with the great Dusknoir. You manage to paint yourself as being in the right at all times, but no matter how much you try, your scheming (Furbygate) all comes crashing down in the end, being exposed to everyone else. Kinda fitting, too, since you were one of the ones that orchestrated the plan to take out Jay. Jacob: Jacob, I’d say you’re most comparable to Bidoof, due to how you can be a bit of a worry wart on occasion (that idol play, for example, and your worry that Bodhi would be working with the other side and a desire to blindside him), but you’re still trying your best. Roxy: If I had to make a choice, Roxy, I’d choose Wigglytuff. You’re overall a pleasant personality, even if you may seem a bit aloof at times, and although you can get rather serious if you want, you’re often a more light-hearted person. Nicholas: This one’s a bit of a tough choice, honestly, but if I had to pick a Pokémon to represent you, I’d have to go for Uxie. You took on a more menacing personality, like Uxie did with the Groudon hologram, in order to try and keep yourself secure, but it didn’t end up working in the end. Nehemiah: Nehemiah, my choice for what Pokémon best represents you would have to be Nuzleaf (the one choice that’s NOT from the Explorers games), even if it is due mostly to my personal experiences. You made me believe that we were on the same side of everything, despite you having ill wishes towards me, and it never really made me view you as anything less.

Roxy: 

 I wish I had the time to actually write up a proper Furmit fanfiction, but unfortunately, I don't. So just imagine that I wrote you a story where a Furby named Jake Paul dumped his boyfriend Nick Crompton in order to pursue a relationship with famous actor Kermit D. Frog.