#than me and I was VERY sheltered and didn’t realise that was maybe a little weird and thought it was Totally Normal

[finniestoncrane]

HELLO I'm in love with the way you write for Cooper 😩👏💝fix idea: I was thinking he's DEFINITELY somebody who doesn't care who he looks anymore, but is still aware that he's got that CHARM yano, but maybe the reader is just "wow your eyes are so pretty" and he fuckin BLUSHES (Mr cooper Howard aka Mr ghoul cowpoke absolutely keels over cus somebody said he was puuuurrtty) 💥💥💥🔫 just all "shut your pie hole girlie" and shes 😏😏😏 ok handsome

Can Ghouls Blush?

Cooper Howard x GN!Reader, word count: 1k aaaaah thank you ;-; also i love this, i love the idea of flustering that horrible boy omg 🤎 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: some threats (imean it's cooper), guns, mostly fluff though!

“I know time means very little to someone who has been around for two hundred years, but how much longer are you gonna be?”

Cooper’s voice echoed out from the main room of the abandoned building you had slept in. From the bathroom, you could hear the frustration, despite his attempts to soften it up. He had no time for fun, no time for relaxing. It was survival and sweating, or nothing at all. But you could tell he had tried to soften it up a little, just for you. His irritation was still so obvious however, even as he offered you a playful roll as he approached the door, catching your eye in the reflection of the cracked mirror.

“Just a sec, then we can head out.”

The old hairbrush you had found by the sink was a well-received miracle. A little bit of normality, a chance to tidy yourself up somewhat.

“I just think it’s a waste of time is all. Preening for the Wasteland. I mean, who are you trying to impress out there? You already got the best catch.”

He flicked the brim of his hat with his gloved fingers, grinning wide, yellowed teeth bared at you as he ran his tongue along his bottom lip.

“That’s exactly the problem. I have to make sure I look good to keep up with you, handsome.”

Your hand stroked along his cheek, a brief moment of eye contact as you walked past him towards the door of the bathroom and back out to the front of your temporary shelter.

“Handsome, huh?”

His voice seemed so much lighter now, more so than you had ever really heard before. And as you turned, you noticed the slight smile on his weathered lips, cheeks pulling up at the corners, eyes glinting as he stared straight back at you.

“Uh… yeah. You’re a very handsome guy, Coop.”

You almost had your fingers on the door knob, ready to leave for the start of your day, when you realised that you couldn’t feel Cooper’s presence behind you. Turning to see what was holding him up, you caught something in his eyes. A look of confusion, almost. Surprise. Disbelief. And a little bit of what you could swear was embarrassment. All this time together. Sleeping in each other’s arms, protecting each other from danger. Had you really never expressed to him your attraction? You had just assumed he knew. You spent long enough staring lustfully at him, it was surely a given. So you worried there was something else to it.

“What’s wrong, Cooper?”

“Nothing, I just… I was used to being called handsome, long time ago… not so much these days.”

As you stepped back towards him, closing the short distance, you could make out his expression much better, realising how astute your previous observation had been.

“Oh my god… Coop, are you blushing?”

He raised one finger, narrowing his brows as he tried to hide the endearing glee, offering you a forced stern look as he spoke.

“Don’t start playin’ stupid with me, you know I am not.”

Biting your lip, a mischievous smile forming, you gripped the lapels of his duster, teasing him as you stroked your thumb along one of his ridged, warm cheeks.

“Why, I didn’t even know big tough cowboys could blush, especially not the more ghoulish ones.” Can they blush? I'll need a closer look."

His fingers were tight around your wrist, gripping you fast and firm. He was trying so hard to maintain his tough exterior, but you could tell there was something softer in there that longed to come out, or at the very least, was desperate for someone to notice it. It was so obvious, even as he lowered his voice and growled at you.

“You turn around right now and start walkin’ out that door.”

Cooper took a step forwards, an attempt to regain his control of the situation, to push you towards doing his will, but you brought your hand up and laid your palm against his chest.

“Wait, just a second…”

It was nice to see him in this light. His confidence was always the dominant feature in his peronality, and it rarely wavered, if at all. But to know there were aspects of himself that he wasn't as sure of, and to know you could render him a little flustered just by complimenting them, made you smile. A grin that was returned by Cooper as you gazed into his warm, brown eyes.

"What is it you're lookin' for now, huh? You find it?"

"Yeah... turns out they can blush."

You turned quickly from him, practically skipping back towards the door of your temporary shelter, ready for another day of survival, this time tinted with a little more joy than usual. Your smile only grew wider as you heard Cooper, catching up with you, still trying to cover his embarrassment with the strained, empty aggressive threat that he chased you with.

"Now I will shoot you, you know that? You're pushing your luck today and we ain't even done anythin' yet."

But when he was certain you weren’t going to turn back around, he let himself smile a little. A soft glow in his eyes as he allowed himself to remember who he was, really. The kind of man that resided deep down inside, buried by years of solitude in the deep, dark ground, of struggling to adjust to the world. And struggling to adjust to himself. Even just a tiny reminder that, despite his charms and the charisma that tended to pull people in, that there was a bit of his old self left. That despite everything, despite who he had become, both physically and emotionally, someone might look at him with something other than fear first. With kindess, or lust. Or even love. That was enough to help him cling to the memories and look to the future with just the tiniest bit of hope, something he hadn’t felt in such a long time.

“You comin’, handsome?”

He smiled, biting his lip to curtail the spread of the easy grin.

“You bet.”

[seriesxwriting]

listen .... everyone likes a good reunion fic. idk if you like taylor swift but it's kind of inspired by "right where you left me." negan's 'kidnapped' during the time gaps in s11, and he ends up in a weird little group, and realises their leader is one of his childhood best friends. they're pretty much the exact same way they always were, whilst neyan's changed completely compared to how he used to be . they admit they've been tracking him for a few weeks after overhearing someone ( an ex-savior maybe ) talking about him. ANGSTYYY duh ... can be any gender & any relationship.

I’m SO sorry this request took me so long, I had no ideas for the storyline but I finally worked it out. Hope you enjoy <3.

Destiny- w negan Smith 

Warnings- swearing, killing of walkers.

Summary- you reunite with negan after all those years and finally cross the boundary of friendship.

Series- Twd (the walking dead)

Paring- negan smith and reader

“Show yourself!” Negan yelled with a gun pointing at the trees. Sneaking up on him would never work, it would just piss him off. Not mentioning the fact that they had ruined his meal now. His eyes scanned the tree line waiting for movement while also watching his back.

A woman edged out the trees with her hands up but he quickly aimed the gun at her clutching it into his chest. His eyebrows scrunched up frowning at the intruder. Then a man follows her out from another tree. His hands were up too asking him subconsciously not to shoot them.

“What the hell do you think your doing” negan spat in a very authoritative voice. “My names Agatha- that’s Terry” the woman began talking. She had long ginger hair but it was tied up behind her head neatly in a low pony. She looked like she was wearing clean clothes, so did the guy.

“That’s not what the hell I asked” negan squinted his eyes never letting up on the gun. “Your sneaking up on me huh- what do you want”. “That wasn’t our intention” terry shook his head still with his hands up. Neither of them had weapons in there hands, Agatha had a knife on her waist and Terry didn’t have a weapon. Not on show anyway.

“We came to talk to you- we saw you on your own, thought we could offer you something but in order for us to talk we need you to put down that gun” Agatha nodded towards it. Negan scoffed shaking his head. “How many of you are there” “it’s just us” Terry swallowed nervously.

“What the hell do you want to offer me” negan asked curiously slowly letting down his guard. “The gun tough guy” Agatha told him putting her hands down finally, having enough of being held at gun point. Negan pulled away from it and dropped it to his side. “Can we- sit?” Terry pointed to the log negan was based at.

“Mmh” he hummed taking a seat himself keeping the gun on his lap. “How long you been here?” Terry questioned with a little bit of a smile now. “A day maybe, I was eating and then was going to find shelter for the night” “we have a better idea” Agatha told him while exhaling sitting down on another log.

“You do, do you?” He chuckled going back to his food not believing them for a second. Though now Terry was so close something caught Negan’s eye. Not only were his clothes clean, he was clean, he smelt good. “You got some sort of camp near by or something?” He wondered sitting up straight and giving the conversation his full attention.

Agatha and Terry smiled knowingly at each other from across the little set up. “Yes actually, we live at the economy and we wanted to invite you back with us”. Negan looked hesitant though his eyes lit up with the thought of not being alone anymore. Not having to be on the move all the time, watching his own back. “Tell me more” he ordered more than asked them.

“There’s not many of us- fourteen -fifteen if you come back, but we have a house not far with a generator- we have water, beds, clean clothes and well- we have a wall” terry smiled. That’s all negan needed to hear. If he’d been the old negan he’d have started crying right there on the spot. But he wasn’t. He was different now.

He just nodded and started collecting his things up in his bag. The two recruiters took that as a sign and happily smiled at each other high on the feeling of success. They walked a mile, maybe a little more. The sky was growing dark the longer they went on. The walk didn’t contain much talk, negan wasn’t exactly a sharer. He nominated himself to kill any walkers that were on their path.

When eventually after a long, silent trudge, they landed at the house. “Welcome to the economy” Agatha smiled walking up to the gate which opened for her almost on call. The guard standing on the brick wall stared at negan hard until something popped into his head and his expression changed.

Negan looked up at the huge brick house in front of him. The windows had crisp white curtains hanging, you couldn’t see in. The door was red and ajar but it looked as if it had been painted recently as well as the porch fence, being a fresh white. There were a few people in the garden they were minding their own business the majority of the time.

“Make yourself at home” Terry smiled nodding towards the house. Negan looked around making sure everything was safe, his eyes lingered on a few standing round the well talking while collecting water. “You have a well?” He smiled fixating his eyes on it. It reminded him of somewhere. But he didn’t wish to share. “Your welcome to check it out, or we could give you a house tour”.

Agatha noticed how his hand was close to his knife on his belt like he was getting ready for a fight. “you won’t need that, your safe here negan” she smiled comfortingly. Negan’s face dropped and he pulled up his gun aiming it at Agatha who knew she’d messed up. She let out a angry sigh.

“How the hell do you know my name” he growled loudly making everyone in the garden look at him. Agatha started with a hand out “Look- -I told her negan”. A female voice from behind made him spin on his heels. His gun aiming at me before he even looked at who it was.

I stood on the porch looking back at him now. After all these years. There he stood. Aiming a gun at my face. It took a few seconds but his face softened his hands dropped off the gun too. It swung on his shoulder by the strap as he let the reality sink in. Negan pulled himself out of the gun and threw it to the ground before running towards me. He snaked his arms around my neck.

I was taken back but at the same time I wasn’t. I hugged him back tightly, feeling a tear slip out of my eye. It had been years since we’d hugged. And it had been never that we’d hugged like this. “What the hell are you doing here y/n- what’s going on?” He asked pulling away but not by much, just so he could see my face.

“I um- it’s a long story- a very long story” I chuckled wiping my tears away but they kept coming. To the point where I didn’t care. “I founded the economy- this is my group- my house” I told him clutching onto his hand. “How’d you find me?” He whispered wiping my tears for me now. “I met someone- his name was Dwight, I’m sure you recognise it” I smiled weakly.

Negan swallowed almost like he was nervous now. He took a step back raising a brow at me. “You ran into Dwight?” “I did- he told me all about the saviours and- and all about you, told me roughly where i could look for you and then the hunt began”. Negan took a sharp inhale looking around to see what everyone else was thinking. “Let’s go sit down” I whispered to him taking him by the hand and leading him inside the house.

I could tell by looking at him how much he’d changed, the old negan never would have impulsively thrown a gun around. He was a look more paranoid now, scatty almost. The only part I recognised was how he was with me. It was almost as if the apocalypse had never happened when we sat ourselves in my office on the sofa together. “What did Dwight say to you” negan scoffed after a moment of silence. It wasn’t awkward though.

“Negan- Don’t” I shook my head getting comfortable against a pillow looking towards him. “I knew I should have killed him” he huffed under his breath. “If you’d killed Dwight I never would have found you” I shrugged looking for a positive. He looked at me and laughed a little. “You haven’t changed, still looking for the bright side in everything”.

“No negan I haven’t- im right where you left me, you have though- a lot” “I know” he replied quickly with a slow head nod. “But everyone moved on y/n” “I stayed there” I shrugged shaking my head. “This world may be broken but my perspective isn’t and it’s not going to change neither am I”.

“People that don’t change die y/n” negan told me looking worried, his hand reached out to rub my knee. “I’ve done alright so far” I chuckled putting my hand on top of his. “Mmh so you have- but I’m sure we have had different experiences, I had to shut it all out” “I don’t know what you went through negan- but don’t compare our experiences” I shook my head welling up again.

He saw that he’d upset me and automatically pulled me into a bear hug. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that” “no your right- I’m living in a fantasy, - I’ve been in here for a long time I’ve become frozen, pretended that shit never happened- that shit isn’t going on outside these walls” I whispered into his chest. I wasn’t indenial. I just needed negan to help me finally say it out loud.

“Some people need fantasy to get by with all the shit going on, it’s not a bad thing” negan told me squeezing me softly. I scooted closer to him so i could lie on his chest and carry on the conversation. I hadn’t felt this happy in so long. To be back in his embrace, I couldn’t describe the feeling. Better than heaven.

“What Dwight told you- about me” “I’m not judging you negan” I cut in shaking my head. “I’d never judge you- it just put things into perspective, you had it hard- those things didn’t sound like you I almost didn’t believe it, but his face when he was reliving the memories sold it to me” I sighed being honest with him.

“What i did…” negan trailed off sighing “I did for a reason, I don’t want to scare you I- -you don’t scare me negan” I chuckled cutting in, shaking my head. “I feel nothing but safe when I’m around you” “you are safe with me, anyone looks at you wrong and I’ll have their teeth turned into a necklace”. I laughed out hitting him gently on the chest.

“Numpty” i cackled making him laugh too. “Gosh are you still hanging onto that word, you’ve said that since we were kids”. “It’s the perfect word I’ll never let it leave my vocabulary” I giggled looking up at him. He was looking down at me smiling. He was so handsome, even covered in whatever muck that he’d picked up from out there. We’d never crossed that boundary.

We were friends we’d been friends our whole life. I didn’t have it in me to tell him I wanted more than that. Then he got Lucille. Then the world went to shit. But right now more than ever I wanted to cross that boundary. As I was day dreaming I felt negan coming closer to me, in the next second we were kissing. I needed a second to ajust- to make sure this wasn’t part of my day dream. It wasn’t.

I held his face with my other hand and pulled him closer kissing him back after all these years. Years of hiding the truth, then the years of being apart. Fate bright Dwight to me. And destiny brought negan back to me. We pulled away panting still holding each other close. “D- do you know how many times I tried to gather the courage to do that?”.

“I- What?” Negan stuttered shaking his head softly. “Years negan, since we were kids” I laughed wiping his lip with my thumb. “But I- I was dropping hints- I liked you too but I thought you- well I never thought you liked me back, I eventually gave up that’s when I met Lucille” “hints?” My head thrusted back. “What hints?” I blinked in disbelief.

But we both looked at each other laughing and pressed our foreheads together. “I don’t want you to change y/n, this is the girl I fell in love with all those years ago” he whispered stroking my hair now. “You changed negan, but the way you are with me that never changed- not once” I told him holding in my excitement. This changed everything.

“It’s destiny” he told me under his breath. “God- that’s what I was thinking”.

Negan Masterlist

All series Masterlist

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[cherriscoups]

White Roses

Pairing: Lee Chan x fem(?) Reader

Words: 976

Genre: angst

Warning: death

a/n: the plot of this was decided by the tarot cards I pulled. I wrote this in like 2 hours. (the fastest I've ever written omg) i also almost cried writing this lol. I only use she pronouns at the very start and very end but I'm sorry for making this gendered when it could have been gn

She loves me.

She loves me not.

She loves me.

She loves me not.

The flower petals fall to his feet. 

Chan has had a crush on you for a little over 2 years but he never had the guts to say anything. You both grew up together, given that your families were next door neighbours. Being the same age, you both spent a lot of time together. Even your families were close. The people that saw you together often asked if you two were dating. Both of your reactions would often be to yell “No!” or to make grossed out faces but that was all until one day where he didn’t feel like doing any of that. He realised that a part of him felt happy that someone thought you were together and that’s when he realised his love might be more than friendship. 

He didn’t want to tell you though. The thought of potentially losing his childhood best friend for some new feelings was terrifying to him. Maybe it was just a small crush that would go away soon. He’s been telling himself that for the past 2 years, knowing full well that it's a lie. He did everything in his ability to not have to deal with his feelings. If you liked him, you would have dropped hints. Back when you were in school, you always asked his advice for crushes. He knew about all of the things you’ve done to get someone’s attention and to drop hints you liked them. Surely he would have noticed them if you tried to let him know you felt the same. 

Last night, he had a beautiful dream. He was standing at the altar and watching you walk down the aisle with your dad. You were wearing a beautiful white gown, one that was very similar to one of the dresses you once saw on “Say Yes to the Dress”. You used to talk so much about that dress and how you would want to wear one that looked similar if you got married. 

He dreamt that you both lived in a rather smaller house. You always talked about wanting to live in a small house if you got married so that checks out. The interior of your house was decorated very much like the pinterest boards you made. You always told him that if you bought your own house you’d decorate them this way. 

He dreamt that you both adopted a black labrador, the same one you saw while you went to volunteer at an animal shelter. Olive. It was the only animal that you got attached to despite being an animal lover. You told Chan that you would have adopted Olive if your mom wasn’t allergic to dogs. Chan said he’d adopt that dog for you and when you looked at him, he swore he could see the whole galaxy in your eyes. 

He dreamt of you holding a baby girl. You had always wanted a daughter. And there you were cradling a baby in your arms. She looked so much like you did in your baby photos. He wondered what you would have named her.

Then he dreamt of the car crash and what you must have felt like while you were stuck inside. 

And then he woke up. 2 days had passed and it didn't feel real to think you were no longer here. 

Chan was the first person the paramedics called. He was the only one on your speed dial. When he found out you didn't have anyone's number on your speed dial, he put his number on to make sure you had someone you can call. 

He remembers calling your parents while he drove to the hospital. The next thing he remembered was holding your lifeless body and screaming "I love you, please don't leave me". He remembers the cries of your parents and his parents echoing the room. 

He saw so many people at your funeral. Friends and teachers from high school and college, your ex co-workers from your first 2 jobs and everyone that lived on your street. Even the florist that delivered the white roses for your funeral was there. 

Your dad had asked him to make a speech. He contemplated on whether or not he should. He was your best friend but he lied to you for 2 years. If only he had told you, maybe you wouldn't have gone out on that blind date. Maybe you wouldn't have met with such a fate.

He still made his speech though. You would have wanted him to. He wasn't sure if you loved him the way he did, but you loved him. He shared so many memories and could only hope everyone would keep you alive in their memories. 

He kept a bouquet. You loved white roses and this was the last piece of you he had left. Your mom had given him some of your stuff. They wanted to keep all of your things but it only felt right to give him something. After all, he did also watch you grow up as much as they had.

He picked out a single rose and drove to the graveyard. He misses you and he knows he always will. He sits down by the tombstone and pours his heart out. He tells you everything he loves about you. He told himself that wouldn't cry but it felt impossible to stop himself. 

"I'm sorry I never said this to you. I love you YN. I always will." He wonders if he could ever get an answer from you. As selfish and childish as it may seem, he decides he'll try to get an answer. He picks up the flower and starts plucking the petals.

She loves me.

She loves me not.

The white rose petals fall to his feet.

______________________________

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[dizzymuses]

❆・:*｡( nam joohyuk. twentysix. cis man. ) | look who entered the cabin! it’s HAJOON NA. HE is known for being the HIMBO of the group & that’s because they can be AFFABLE but also NAIVE. we bet they’re excited to be coming back to the cabin. they believe GUY.EXE by SUPERFRUIT is the best way to describe them. wonder what trouble they’ll be getting into this season.

hi hi, okay finally getting around to writing this intro. sadly, still not on my laptop bc god forbid anything ever gets delivered as planned lol. so pls forgive me if this turns out somewhat sub-par, i’m typing it on my equally sub-par ipad keyboard rip. fingers crossed i might get my charger on monday. but let’s get to business - this is hajoon, who also happens to be a brand new muse for me. he’s equal parts precious baby and big headed idiot. v sociable, trusting and endearing but also probably up to some dumb shit at any given time. let’s get into it (yuh) SKJDFHK

basics.

name: hajoon na.

nicknames: joon, joonie. 

gender: cis man.

pronouns: he/him.

age: 26.

date of birth: march 19th, 1996 (making him a pisces).

place of birth: harbor springs, michigan.

nationality: american

ethnicity: korean.

occupation: dog trainer, tiktok creator.

orientation: bisexual, biromantic. 

biography.

hajoon na was born as the first child to hyunjin na and angelica kwon, respectively an accountant and a nurse. both of them were overjoyed to welcome their son and start their little family, which had until then only consisted of the two of them and their dog valentine. however, they shouldn’t remain such a small family for very long as hajoons little sister was born only two years after him, making his run as an only child ever so short-lived. hajoon didn’t resent his sister though, instead fully embracing this new role as her older brother. it was fun to have somebody he could take care of and who would blindly follow his lead for quite a few years.

while there family was never rich, they didn’t have to worry for much, especially since their parents placed both of their well-being before most other concerns. their education was another one of the things they really cared for and so the whole family even travelled through europe twice when hajoon was in his teens. all in all, he wasn’t ever a disappointment to his parents, eager to please them. however, he also wasn’t quite the high-achiever they might have wished for. always getting good but honestly no exceptional grades, even though he was already studying much more than he personally would have liked. his sister, harin, proved herself to be much more the academic his parents were hoping for.

honestly, it wasn’t always easy for joon to have a younger sister who quite possibly was much smarter than him but in the end he was glad for her and his parents. they got what they wanted after all, with a daughter who soaked up all the knowledge she could get her hands on, especially everything space related. on the other hand, hajoon coasted through college, not quite smart enough to be of notice but certainly well liked by his peers. he was always one of the popular kids, despite never really trying. while others might have stepped on people to get them up the ranks, he had never done anything of particular note aside from having a massive glow-up in his teens and genuinely being nice to pretty much everyone.

maybe it’s the fact that he’d always been so effortlessly popular or the way his parents were basically as supportive as could be but it means that hajoon grew up to often blindly trust others and be pretty self-assured. sure, he knows now that he certainly isn’t extraordinarily smart but extraordinarily handsome was also worth something, right? after school he didn’t quite know what to do with life and so he took an infamous gap-year, mostly spent volunteering at the local animal shelter. it was there that he realised he wanted to work with animals long-term and so he began working towards becoming a certified dog trainer.

by now he works as a dog trainer, having opened his own training center with a friend of his. through a tiktok he once made with his own dog, friday, which was mostly meant to be educational, he had already gotten a small following on the site. ever since the group’s tiktok blew up in 2019 and the show was aired afterwards, however, that following had become quite sizeable and he has continued posting. i would personally describe his content as a wild mixture of educational dog training tips, tiktok’s everyone but himself would describe as thirst traps and dad jokes. harin always tells him he should stick exclusively with dog content because the rest of it is supposedly cringe af. but the internet at large doesn’t quite seem to agree with that assessment.

ok, that is all i have for u rn bc this is getting on my last nerve.i’d love to brainstorm some plot ideas w u and get things going for my boi. tysm for reading through this and maybe i’ll add to it once i have a proper keyboard again kfdjhkdfd.

[innytoes]

Anything new to share about the Caleb/Ray/Reggie ABO au? You know I will always want to hear more about it 😇

-anotherfantom

I dooo! I was going to put all the snippets on AO3 for Knot In Your Name, but then I realised I had like 15k of fic to edit and I was like: nope, don't have time for that right now.

Also, without the little bullet point list not!fics, the separate fanfics made very little sense, so I decided if I was going to do it, I was going to do it right and make it a little series of interconnected fics like The Care and Feeding Of Dragons series.

I told myself I'd start on it when I finished the foster care au, so naturally I've written like 3000 new words already, to replace the bullet point not!fics.

There's one that sets up the whole universe, which is Reggie meeting Ray and Caleb in the shelter and them picking him.

He was about halfway through, right on the second chorus, when he noticed someone standing in front of him, watching. He flicked his eyes up, and oh. This guy was handsome. Gray hair, kind eyes, broad shoulders... He looked very in shape under that tight white t-shirt. Reggie didn’t falter in his singing, though maybe he breathed in a little deeper than he normally would before the next refrain. The alpha smelled like hot chocolate in front of an open fire, a little smoky, rich, with a hint of spices that Reggie couldn’t place. For a second, he let himself pretend. Pretend that the guy would be interested, that he wouldn’t grimace and leave the second Reggie accidentally moved his chin up too far and revealed the left side of his face. Just for a moment he let himself have butterflies.

Ask me about my WIP documents

[alicent-apologist]

The Targaryen Doe Sneak Peek

Hello! I’m very sorry but I’ve had very little time to write this week so Chapter 11 of The Targaryen Doe will be a bit delayed.

To make up for it I have a sneak peak showing one of the scenes from Chapter 11 between Camyla and Aegon below.

I hope you enjoy! And once again, I’m very sorry! Please let me know what you think!

Camyla had hoped that if she focused on the little dragon she was embroidering, the nausea that she had been feeling all day would abate. Unfortunately, it seemed that the more she tried to focus on other things, the stronger the nausea became. Maester Orwyle had told her that the nausea should start to lessen by the time the child quickened but that did nothing to help her at the moment. 

 In desperation, Camyla decided that a walk around the gardens would help more than staying in her suddenly stuffy and stifling room. 

 ‘Please remain here,’ she told her guard when it looked like he would follow her; the presence of anyone made her feel a bit irritable and she was only going to the gardens anyway. 

 Aemond wouldn’t be happy at her walking through the castle alone but until Aemond had to deal with the abominable nausea she felt, he could keep quiet. 

 Thankfully, the cool and fresh air of the gardens immediately helped soothe her stomach and temper. 

 She took her time on her little walk, caressing the flower petals of the myriad of tulips, lilies and Seven knows all the other plants that she encountered on her walk. Helaena would know, and she would know exactly which bugs used which plant for food or for shelter. Camyla’s lips lifted in a smile at the thought; she should go and ask if Helaena wanted to join her in the gardens soon. Lately their walks had been taken over by other tasks, and Camyla hadn’t realised how much she missed them. 

 Maybe she could even learn some insect facts herself to show Helaena she was interested. She’d have to ask Aemond to remind her, lately her mind had felt all over the place (something Maester Orwyle had also told her was due to the pregnancy). 

 She could - oh there went her good mood. 

 Aegon was passed out against the trunk of the heart tree and even from where she was standing she could smell the reek of alcohol on him. 

 Just what she needed, she grumbled to herself as she begrudgingly made her way towards him. Such a strong smell of alcohol made her feel sick and Aegon was difficult to deal with at the best of times. 

 ‘Aegon?’ she asked, poking his side and breathing slowly through her mouth to counteract the nausea she could already feel rising.  

 ‘G’away,’ he slurred out, opening his eyes blearily. 

 ‘I wish I could but these are public gardens,’ she replied, less gently than she would have were she in a better mood. 

 ‘M’tired,’ he said, either not comprehending her words or not caring. 

 Well bother. She needed to get him inside his room, behind closed doors where the nobles couldn’t see him. But she didn’t have anyone she could send to get a guard and she didn’t want to leave him there for anybody to stumble across while she looked for a trustworthy one. 

 Inside her mind she cursed herself for leaving her guard back at her room. Damn it all to the Seven Hells there was only one thing for it. 

 She knelt down and gently slapped Aegon’s face. 

 ‘Wha?’ he asked, glaring at her.

 ‘I am going to get you to your bed but I need your help,’ Camyla replied. 

 ‘Though’ you had m’brother to warm your bed,’ he drunkenly slurred out, giving her a nasty look. 

 It would be very bad to punch the next King of Westeros, no matter how satisfying it may feel. 

 ‘Believe me, I do,’ she replied curtly instead, ‘but I need to get you out of here before anybody else sees you.’

‘Fine,’ he grunted out, raising his hand so she could help him up.

 Camyla pulled on it, expecting him to get on his feet, but all he did was be pathetically dragged a few inches along the ground. 

 ‘Why?’ she asked, throwing her hands up in exasperation. 

 ‘Can’ get up.’

 She grit her teeth. 

 <i>Breathe in. Breathe out.</i>

 She knelt again, this time pulling Aegon’s arm around her shoulders and placing her own around his waist to try to help him up that way. It was the most ungraceful thing she had ever done, as she wobbled from side to side while standing up, trying to compensate for Aegon’s dead weight but eventually she was standing and Aegon was slumped over her. 

 Never. She would never go anywhere without a guard again. 

 Her nausea was back. She felt all sweaty and annoyed. And they hadn’t even taken a step together. 

 ‘Come on, Aegon.’ 

 Slowly, teetering with every step and half-dragging Aegon, she made her way to the edge of the gardens and they slowly started shuffling through the corridors of the Red Keep. 

 ‘Where is Ser Arryk?’

 ‘Erryk.’

 Damn it! 

 ‘Yes, where is he?’ She asked, ignoring her blunder. 

 ‘Dodged him last night.’ 

 His slurring was getting better even though he was still mainly a dead weight against her. 

 ‘Great.’

 There was silence as they shuffled down a few more corridors. How had they encountered no guards this entire time? Where were they all? At least there were no nobles around to enjoy the show.

 ‘Why are you doing this for me?’ Aegon asked, voice sounding a bit plaintive. 

 ‘We are family, Aegon,’ Camyla replied, trying not to pant from the exertion as she did. 

 ‘What the fuck does that mean? What in the Seven Hells has that ever meant to anyone in this family?’ 

 Well, he clearly hadn’t liked that answer, seeing as he all but shouted that. 

 ‘Shh, shh, Aegon, we cannot draw attention to ourselves,’ Camyla tried to quiet him down, ‘It means that even when I don’t particularly like you, I still care about you and I will still look out for you.’ 

 Aemond clearly loved Aegon dearly, and just for that Camyla did too. 

 ‘No-one likes me. Not my mum or my sister or my brothers. My half sister wants me dead!’ Aegon cried self-pityingly into her shoulder. She could feel his drunken tears soaking the back of her dress. 

 That wasn’t true though.

 ‘Your children like you. I like who you are when you are with them,’ Camyla soothed him. 

 It was true, Jaehaerys and Jaehaera only had good things to say about him, in their own baby way, and Maelor was always all smiles when his father was around. He was his best self when he was around them, treating them with all the love and care he didn’t seem to show anyone else. 

 ‘They’re the only good thing, the only good thing I have ever done,’ he sobbed.

 Camyla had never taken him for a weepy drunk and yet.

 ‘I’m sure that’s not true,’ she huffed out between pants as she half-dragged half-carried him up the stairs. 

 ‘I’m a drunken wastrel! Can’t even fuck my wife without being drunk!’

 ‘Seven Hells Aegon shut up! Don’t say that where anyone can hear you,’ Camyla hissed, looking around for anyone who may have heard them. 

 Belatedly, she realised that the Queen was holding court which explained why there were no nobles around the castle. Still, there was no excuse for Ser Erryk’s absence. He wasn’t even at Aegon’s door when she finally reached it and dragged Aegon inside. 

 ‘I love her, you know. I do. Just not right. Not the right way. Can’t even be a proper Targaryen.’ 

 His tears had slowed but his voice was desolate. 

 Camyla bit her lip as she let him fall onto his bed and started working his boots off. He was an annoying pest for sure but he was good father and while he was not a good husband to Helaena, he wasn’t a particularly bad one either; he did not parade his mistresses and bastards in front of her, she was assured of her safety and comfort as his wife and there was love between them. Low standards but many marriages did not meet even those. Camyla was aware of how lucky she had been with her husband. 

 ‘You have a dragon, do you not? Isn’t that what makes you all Targaryens?’ She tried to console him. 

 ‘Hah! Don’t let, don’t let Aemond hear you say that. Used to make fun of him for not having a dragon.’ 

 His mood changed from desolate to a kind of unkind amusement.

 ‘That sounds mean.’ Camyla said evenly, wiping her sweaty brow and preparing to leave, preferable to find someone she could complain to. 

 ‘It’s my fault he lost his eye.’ He said morosely.

 Camyla whipped her head to look at him.

 ‘What do you mean?’ She asked hesitantly. 

 ‘He was such a twat, mother’s favourite, studying ahead, making me look bad. So I’d make fun of him. But it was no fun. He always ignored me. Turned back to his stupid books.’ He grumbled like a small child.

 Camyla walked over and sat on the bed. Aegon seemed to have forgotten she was there, directing his ranting at the ceiling. 

 ‘So I got Jace and Luke to join in. They would do anything I said. We would make fun of him all the time and he would fight back but I could see we were hurting him. He never retaliated though, always too much of a mother’s good boy. Helaena  would though. She’d torment me with her stupid bugs. And Daeron would try so hard to cheer him up, until mother sent him away.’ 

 An uncharitable way of saying Daeron had been taken to Hightower to squire there. Was this how Aegon saw it?

 ‘We - we dressed up a pig and told him it was a dragon we’d found for him. The Pink Dread! His face! He was so angry.’ 

 Oh that was cruel. 

 ‘I taught them that Aemond was a target. And when they cut out his eye where was I? Drunk. Stupid drunk Aegon.’ 

 Camyla was breathing heavily. She felt sick, she felt so sick. This was no longer just a mother’s stomach.  

 ‘It’s okay. It’s okay. Go to sleep.’ She hushed him distractedly and all but ran from his room. 

 She leant against the stone wall on the opposite side of his bedroom, hoping the cool stone against her face would settle her rolling stomach. 

 Her poor Aemond, mocked and derided, and having his eye taken for it as the culmination. She felt bad for Aegon too. That was a lot of guilt to carry for something he hadn’t even done. He should never have treated his brother badly, there was no doubt about it, but the choice to attack Aemond with a knife was Lucerys’ and Jacerys’ alone.  

 She needed to go to the Sept. That would give her the peace she needed, until she could bring herself to talk to Aemond about the hardships he had endured. But first she was going back to her rooms to get her guard. Never again, she had promised.

[megarx]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ WANTED Connections 💜

( last updated : Dec 1 2022 )

hullo ! below the cut are a list of wanted connections for meg. for more info on her pls check out:

intro

extended bio

GENERAL CONNECTIONS

🌼 my friends call me meg : LISTEN SHE NEEDS FRIENDS. she likes movies, reality tv shows, roller-skating, museums, exploring the city, and isn’t afraid of a little light trespassing to do so. she’s also quite worldly, having worked and travelled with hades a lot.

🌼 tickets please : she works at the movie theatre. LOVES movies. gets four free movie tickets each month. so either she shares that with you, OR, she sneaks you into the cinemas hehe

🌼 sk8tr grl : she also works as a skating waitress at sk8tes. she’s less happy here lmao, but she’s very good on roller-skates and also one of the prettiest workers there let’s be real. have you tried flirting with her ?

🌼 making the most of the night (1/4) : after saying goodbye to hercules ... she would have wanted a warm body for some comfort. probably only to realise that a warm body just isn’t enough. lowkey i’d love for meg to have short-lived relationships if you’re down !! either in the past, or present. for one reason or another, they just didn’t work out. meg is still finding out who she is outside of hades and hercules. but there’s nothing like a lover, however short they stay for. because as much as she’s sworn off love, her heart is too big and too alone to not seek comfort from another human being.

filled by: roxas reyes (ex-lover)

some possible types of rships (either past or present!):

one-night stand: just one time, nothing more, could be for any reason

‘keep me in your phone’: barely friends, but they understand the need for sex sometimes

3 dates: went for 3 dates, just didn’t last long at all. can be bitter or amicable.

short lived: maybe she was called girlfriend for a month or so? no more than 3 months. lots of factors can go into why they didn’t work out. we can have painful fun !! >:3

( if you have ideas you’d like to explore pls let me know !! LET US CHATTT ) 

SPECIFIC CONNECTIONS

🏺 ‘uptown’ neighbours : isn’t it weird that this random girl just suddenly moved in to one of the most prestigious apartment buildings in the city ? and the previous owner just never came back ? think The Arconia from ‘only murders in the building’.

🏺 don’t i know you from somewhere ? : if your character does a lot of community work, particularly with homeless shelters or food drives, they may recognise meg. she needed those services for a couple of weeks before she got gifted the apartment.

🏺 hey, hang on ... : she was definitely not ‘in’ the fight (ie. the big battle against hades), but if you were close with hades, you may know of meg !! she would have been lurking in the background, or going in and out of hades’ place, and also seen with hercules, of course.

🏺 pawn shop gorl : meg has made friends with the owner of the pawn shop ( his name is ‘gus’ hehe ). she’s sold hades’ old items to him, lots of ancient greek antiques. do you go to the pawn shop too ?!?! :’0

🏺 oh, oh, oh, it’s magic : she may not actively seek help for finding her soul ... but she won’t refuse it if it’s offered or noticed. she’s very wary of the gods right now, but she’ll accept some advice.

🏺 but aren’t you ?? a damsel in distress ?? : she should probably learn some self-defence. either convince her to or teach her pls !! :3 the tory nichols inspo is just *inhales* waiting to intensify.

filled by: elizabeth swann

🏺 look at me, i’m sandra dee : the sandy to meg’s rizzo. the naivete to meg’s experience. the hope to meg’s cynicism. meg can end up teaching them how to see the reality of the world, and they can help meg feel excited to live again. can be friends / besties !! :3

filled by: brynne utonium

[fair-dinkum-mechanic]

I have failed in all I’ve wanted to do. Shouting into the void, I know. But the older I get the more I understand. Love isn’t anything that matters. Especially in our lives as gay men. We all want it, of course we do, but we toss it aside for carnal pleasure, we are animals after all. I’m even guilty of it, I speak this as I know it’s true. I’ve lived it.

There’s gentleness out there. I know it because I’ve had it from others and it’s within me.

But as a person in the world, I have failed. I have failed as the worlds nature is at its core, cruel. The world is cruel and uncaring. I grew up very sheltered, and very privileged, so I didn’t see the cruelty of the world early on. Perhaps that’s why I’m so unprepared for it.

Heartstopper was sweet, it was, but I look at it and I know that’s not the reality we live in. I couldn’t enjoy it because I know it’s not what happens, I know it’s more about material than heart.

I am tired of sex. I don’t want to do it anymore. I fade away when I do it. What’s the point. It’s so menial. It’s nothing. You build up and up to a boiling point and say “fuck yeah” twenty times and then you have a blank few seconds before you head off to repeat the same cycle again. It’s nothing. But it’s everything. To the world it is everything.

I sold myself to it once. I thought I was taking what I wanted. Pleasure. But it was too late and realised the world was actually taking from me. And those pieces of me were lost.

Maybe those are the pieces I needed to not fail as Marc. Maybe if I’d held onto them, I’d be okay right now.

Maybe the world sees me wanting to care for others as a weakness and is trying to harden me up, and make me cold. I wish it would succeed. I wish it would do it. Why is the scared little boy inside of me so strong.

I can give the grandest gestures of love without even thinking that they’re grand. I can and have travelled tens of thousands of miles for love, but at the end of the day, what matters is what’s right in front of you.

My heart has been eroded. And instead of being steel underneath it’s just tender and gooey and can’t keep its shape. So it just melts. Slowly.

I don’t want anything. I just don’t want to be in pain anymore. That’s all I want. I want the pain to stop. I need the pain to stop. But all the world tells me is that the pain is my fault, and that the pain is here to stay. Endure. Feel it sting your bones. Because it won’t change. Learn to love the pain. I can hug others through theirs. I can be with them and understand it, but I can’t fight my own. It’s cruel.

“I am in pain” “I’m so sorry, I know how you must feel, I hate seeing you in pain.”

“I am in pain.” “That’s your fault. Deal with it and cope.”

I wish I could. I wish I could shove it down and cope. But I am broken. My brain is diseased, with bpd. I’ll never be able to do that.

I am so sorry to everyone I have failed. I hope I have made you feel loved and valued at least a little bit.

I am so sorry. I am so so sorry. And no amount of sorry will fix or make up for my failings as a kind human being. No sorrys will change the world.

I was blind to the worlds true nature. But I my eyes were opened and I am scared. I am scared and I want to go home.

I am so sorry that I’m so scared. I want to go home. I want a hug.

But hold me down. Use me. My body belongs to the earth. The earth must use it.

Please if you need a hug, come to me. I would like to give you a hug. Just a hug. I’ll hold you through the dark. I know how cold it is in here. I know how the mind shows you images you can’t escape, even with a warm hug. But I am here. I’ll hold you through them. If I have to hold you for weeks I will. Just feel that it’s not cruel. I won’t be cruel. There’s so much more.

Please hug me. Please make the demons go away. Make my mind forget the grid. Rescue me. Please put me in the warm. That’s all I want. I want to be warm for others, I want to be in a world where love comes first. Not sometimes, but always. I don’t want to live in a world where love does not come first. It’s not for me.

I understand anger at me. It’s the world working through others, to pull me into line. To remind me of my place. To mould me into what nature wants.

I don’t think I can be okay. I don’t think my world is mine. It belongs to the dark now.

As someone who is always there perhaps it’s time for others to discard me, as they can cope with the world and how it is. And so I close my eyes. And I go to sleep. And the dark keeps going. It keeps swirling. It never stops.

I hope my love was good enough for this world. I hope it doesn’t fade.

Perhaps I am too difficult. Too risky. Too burdensome.

No matter what I type I cannot accurately describe my pain.

Love.

[butchratchettruther]

Thinking about how comedically bad nearly all of my partners have been

[muffindaddystyles]

Soft dom harry makes subby reader upset subspace?

MEANIE ANGRY H :D BUCKLE UP FELLAS

Y/N's day is been shitty so far. It started with an ache in her lower abdomen from Harry’s morning stiffy bulging against her asscheeks fattening everytime he snuggled into her to hoard her warmth and blankies and to stuff his face in her neck with incoherent blabbering.

She wanted to wake him up with her hand, mouth, hole— anything around his cock and to please him and dull the burny feeling in her tummy -- but -- she had an important workshop at UNI that was must needed to be attended.

The time she managed to knock herself out of her needy and lusty headspace, she was getting late and whirling around the room and closest like a thunderstorm -- burying a snoring Harry under the heaps of clothes and littering the floor with her shoes collection, the kitchen got treated much more worst with maids being not around (she’s used to Harry waking up earlier than her and making her a full course brekkie) after making a laughable ruckus of cabinets all she stuffed her mouth with was a chocolate protein bar.

The stars were still not in her favour. She was grabbing onto her hair until far when she missed the bus (she usually don’t take buses, Harry makes sure the driver drop her off safe and secure) and it started raining leaving Y/N with nothing but a bare head to take all of it as she already left the bus shelter to stop a taxi.

If all of that wasn’t much of a tragedy and humiliating, Y/N slipped the moment she stepped out of the vehicle and on the slippery curbs of the building, she saw her life flashing right infront of her eyes as the papers tucked in her armpit fled everywhere and landed on the rainy mud sadistically along her. It gave her a serious hit in her ankle and completely yanked her hip, still being a stubborn-head she picked herself and went inside despite how many glares the cleaning staff threw her way for bringing the dirt with her feed all over the shiny floors.

She felt bad.

Stupidly bad.

Her workshop teachers were kind enough to accept her late arrival, but her designs for fall got rejected and they’d have been a huge milestone for her to get her dream internship.

Y/N felt awfully, teeny, pathetic and little while slumping into the corner of the bus and holding her breath to refrain from crying these little liquidy bitches out of her eyes.

Reaching back home she was met with pure chaos, bumping into petrified and agitated employs from Harry’s company scurrying out of their main foyer and she could persist but to ask what happened only to be informed in stammers that the staff messed up big and caused a loss of million dollars— making Harry terribly mad and fire people left and right.

It wasn’t a joke at all.

Because once, she steps inside, bag falling from her shoulder as she sighs in exhaustion feeling her muscles stiffening everywhere but one particular spot's hurting wrenchingly— her foggy mind couldn’t figure it out yet. She peeks into Harry’s home office to be met by a very annoyed, aggrieved, furious Harry pacing in his office all whilst with a phone against his ear shouting at someone who was destined to be humiliated today just like her and she pouts gingerly seeing his features skewered tightly into displeasure, the vein that curves along his temple prominent with blood pumping erratically in his body.

His head snaps up at the door’s creak and albeit his eyes softens a little, the kink of brows and the scowl on his lips is still there and he watches her paddle towards him carefully knowing anything at the moment would burst his chimneys out and she wants to be good for her daddy.

“Hi.” She speaks timidly, pout getting more rusty when the greetings not returned and instead he keeps all of his attention on the phone keeping a loose arm around her.

She grumbles, when he gestures down at her to give him a sec and untangles himself from her walking away and huffing and puffing into the phone.

How could he!

She feels so denied and rejected and kicked like it’s done to those affection starved lil puppies.

Her clingy tendencies flying high drunk and wooly. The needy beastie inside her wanting nothing more than take a bath where Harry could cream her back in her favourite berry bubbles, massaging her head and whisper sweet nothings into her ear, then lots and lots of cuddles, maybe he'll be generous enough and let her keep him snug inside her while they watch movie because she had such an awful day.

But, No! He's trying to escape free from her because she’s such a burden for him now.

Her eyes turns glassy, her shoulders slumping sadly and out of nowhere she’s feeling cold and barren as Harry’s voice becomes a wafting fume for her— an indication she has gone under too much.

“Daddy . . .” She stomps behind him, circling his footsteps like a whiny puppy and grapples at his dress shirt gasping sullenly when he swats her dainty hands away and glares down at her in dominance, his tone harsh as he blocks the receiver with his palm and mouths at her with a huff, “Stop being needy fo’ once. I’ve clearly some important issues to care for, Y/N.” Poor Y/N's deathly grip on his shirt loosens sorrowfully and her chin wobbles as she nodded still wanting to be good for him and if it wasn’t enough to give her the biggest heartbreak of the year— he even rolled his eyes at her too grumping under his breath about something how he turned her into a spoiled brat himself.

“Okie. . .” Her voice strangled and small. She shrinks into herself but wasn’t paid any heed from Harry and without another word she leaves him as to be it.

Having a huge breakdown in her room didn’t help at all. A painful headache hitting her like a train as she clumsily strips down, wearing one of his t-shirt heavily drenched in his scent he keeps for her under her pillow anytime she needs it and hides under the blankets with tears still running down her swollen cheeks— slipping into a light slumber from all of weariness and crying.

Once the smoke cleared from Harry’s mind and his capabilities of rational thinking coming back to him, he was reminded of how he denied his baby of his littlest of affection and tenderness when she clearly looked so glum and sad and upset.

He wanted to whip himself in head.

He’s such a twat that he let work come between them.

He curses himself. Making a sprint to his bedroom, knowing he’d find her none other than there and he was right puffing out a disheartened sigh when his eyes falls over his princess buried under all of these layers of blankets, he crawls up towards her carefully not to startle her awake.

Grunting at himself when he finds she’s been crying, he strokes a thumb up her blushy cheeks and her wet lashes, kissing her puffy eyelids and her little sad unhappy pout away.

He frowns. Feeling her feverish and flushed under his hand, “Hey puppy . . .” He thumbs down her throat getting a little fretful when she doesn’t stirs, however she’s such a squirmy little one and he moves the blankets away to let her body cool itself smiling proudly at his shirt swallowing her whole is when she snuggled herself more into her stuffie letting the shirt ride up her thighs and hips exposing a ghastly bruise of red and purples and he frowns not remembering it being there before.

Now. He feels shittier. Wanting to jump of the cliff for being a shitty sadist boyfriend to his only beloved.

“No!” Y/N whimpers loudly, squirming away from his touch as he examines her gently and it sent shockwaves to each of her tissues and lions causing her an undeniable pain.

“Puppy, shh, shh. ‘s just me, making sure if y'okay.” He scrambles closer to her towering her to cradle her face and kiss the tip of her nose—- his face falls drastically and his heart cracks miserly when Y/N pushes him away with a sorrowful mumble not even letting him wipe the drool away from the corner of her mouth as he usually does.

“’M okay . . .” She tries to knuckle the sleepiness away with shivery hands, “No you’re not —...” He’s cut off by her angry pout and her silly efforts to keep as much distance between them as possible, “I don’t need, Daddy . . ‘m big and I could take care of me self.” At her puny waver realization dawns upon Harry and his brows shoots up to his hairline feeling nauseous and terrible for not taking care of his babylove earlier.

He’d have never let her be away from him if he knew she was in her subspace.

“Y/N baby . . . I didn’t mean it, darling —--...” With gentleness he tries to approach her but she wraps her arms around her petite figure in a protective manner, haziness taking best of her and Harry’s chest suffocates into itself, being a dom it’s your responsibility to make your subby feel protected, loved and happy and he even failed at that.

He quickly cups both of her hot cheeks in his nippy palms when she hiccups sadly, a sob threatening to slip out, “Yes you did! You meant it. Said you spoiled me, I don’t want your money, promise! I just want you and y'shooed me away saying Y/N’s too needy . . .” Harry flinches at her words. He never even spared a thought to this negativity that she chooses to be with him for his money because he knows out of all the people she’s the only one who loves him out of the boundaries of status and money.

He realises how stabbing they'd have been to her when she was so sensitive and floaty wanting nothing more, just him.

How deep she has gone if she’s taking her own name in third person.

“’M sorry baby. So sorry. Swear on myself, didn’t mean to hurt my baby, knows tha’ work shouldn’t be an excuse t’ make y'feel unloved—- but those bastards got a tick outta me.” He rambles on frantically. Afraid she’ll think he’s lying and would finally make up her mind to leave him.

“You didn’t?” She asks with so much innocence Harry nearly cries out, “’Course I didn’t! How could I? You could never be needy, Bab. I love you so much and you’re my whole word, forgive me please?”

“You’re forgiven,” She let a small smile flutter up her features, a tinge of gleam in her previous dull eyes brightening the whole room and Harry immediately bunches her up in his lap.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks her, not sure if she still needs space from him and would rather be better without him but she bobs her head shyly and he chuckles softly before touching their lips together into a tender loving kiss and brushes their noses up and down murmuring sweetly coy to her.

“Now, could y'tell daddy how y'got this bruise baby? How did ya get hurt?” He coos, brushing her sweaty hair back and rubs her sweet gland behind her ear delicately, “Oh yeah . . . this, was raining and slipped.” She murmurs, hissing a gasp jolting away when Harry glides his fingers gently down her hip bone and fresh tears springs in her eyes as she buries herself in his chest, “Daddy hurts. . .” . “Oh babypie. Daddy’s g'na take care of his love.” He lays her down gently kissing her forehead when she whines for him to keep on holding her, “’M right here darling. G'na prep us a bath, make my baby alright.” Saying this he quickly disappears inside the washroom and next their room’s sursuring with marble tub filling with warm water, Harry throws in her favourite pink coloured bath bombs and rose essences and throws their towels in the warmer coming back with her as he left her to be, he has decided he’s gonna love on her whole night, “My baby’s the best, ain’t she? She’s my bestest girl.” He coos down at her sweetly and slides his forearms under her knees and back picking her up carefully and brings her to his chest securely.

She closes her eyes, biting down a whimper when Harry dips them in the water some it sloshing down the edges of bathtub and it envelopes them and gives a stingy feeling to her bruise before soothing it down.

He rubs her arms, and circles smoothing patterns on her tummy and kisses her a gallons as she melts in his embrace and he let’s her sink into him more, nibbling and sponging wet ticklish kisses on her neck making her purr and become a puddle of softness in his hold while she takes her time to mumble all the bad events that happened to her and he felt so guilty of not asking her how she’s and how her day went when she came to him, in need of some of his lovin.

“I love you so much, bab.” He suckles her earlobe, toying and plucking her bottom plush lip, “Was prick to me love —.. you deserve all my lovin,” He noses at her jaw, not forgetting it to mark it with his pecks and sloppy bites.

“’S okay daddy, y'had a bad day too.” He’s grateful to have her in his life. She cares about him, maybe more than he does for her and he feels himself lucky for it.

“You want me to help you relax?”

“Can I have you?” Her tone bashfully desperate and coy, Harry meanders their fingers together and kisses her knuckles softly.

Considering her wound still being sore and pulp, having sex would be painful for her and she might not grasp it in her hazy mind but Harry doesn’t want to hurt at all.

He plants a little noisy smooch to her shoulder when she nods, she mews and purrs when Harry glides his palm all the way down her body and cups her pussy digging his palm into her mound and coats his digits with her arousal dipping the pads of his fingers into her entrance, “All this wet f'me?” Palming her tits while whispering sweet nothings into her ear when she gasps and closes up on Harry scratching nails into his bended knees.

“Shh, shh puppy, jus' relax hmm? Feel yourself.” With sputtery inhales she does as he says, soon two of his fingers slips inside her and he strokes her pussy and pulls them out making her all whiny and pushes them back with a squelching noise, fucking her with it smiling and stopping when her thighs parts falls again his’s completely.

“Daddy!” She writhes and whines, trembly hands trying to bring Harry fingers back to her pulsating wetness, “You’re the cutest.” He smiles against her lips giving her cheeks several squishes and pats her head loving to see his adorable princess all flustery for him.

On her demands. He slicks his fingers back inside her and caresses the insides of her thighs while she pants and sinks onto his knuckles blabbering out daddydaddydaddy weepily.

“Cum fo’ me, puppy. Feels good? Yeah? My baby feels nice?” He rasps in her mouth, curving and petting the soft spot inside her pussy and sucks onto her upper lip when she moans and mewls loudly gushing all over his finger and he keeps on fucking her till she’s all sleepy and balmy against his chest.

Harry coaxes her tenderly, smoothing his hands all over her twitchy spots and patches sloppy kisses all over her face that makes her all giggly and shy—- the amount of endorphins spiking high in her system.

“Love you so much, daddy.” She mushes puckering her lips into his throat.

“Love you too, pup.”

[lizmindpalace]

Los amantes del círculo Polar

Doctor Strange x reader; Doctor Strange Supreme x reader.

This is inspired by this beautiful song:

It is sort of a songfic and the lyrics are translated into English, you can identify them, since they’re written in italic.

Summary:  An old tale where things weren't supposed to end like they did.

Word count: 10.7 K

Warnings: Pure fluff and angst. Angst includes a toxic relationship. In addition, although some events from DS2MOM are involved, they're not accurate since it was written before the film was released. Angst guys, really, take your tissues with you, you’ve been warned. 

You can also find this work on Ao3 and on Wattpad.

Weddings had never been his thing. Probably because deep down he knew he was not the kind of man who would ever find the appropriate woman to marry, or perhaps, (even if he tried not to think about it) because he thought he was not worth it, and being completely honest, who would want to marry a selfish, arrogant and annoying doctor (not even a surgeon, (actually just a man with the title of a doctor but who was not one anymore)), who also happened to do magic? Maybe there was something else, an omen as old as time engraved in his mind. 

He hadn't wanted to go in the first place. He had been acting oblivious for the last three months or so.  He had been pretending to be busy, to have too much to fix since the sorcerer supreme could not do much if he was not there by his side to help. He had been refusing to see her, when she called him in advance so she could pay a visit to the 177 of Bleecker Street, a short one she had said, extremely important, yet he did not want to see her, the last time she had been around the sanctum sanctorum to talk about something extremely important, things had gone a bit out of hand, and this time, he could foresee a fate he did not have the strength to face, at least, no yet.

 "We're out of town, there's no one home at the time, and we don't know how long this will take us, probably a few weeks, maybe years, you never know with this vast multiverse expanding every time, with every choice."

His voice sounded different, not the kind of arrogant man she had known, it was like he was pretending to be him but there was something else as though he was looking for an excuse (and failing). He was avoiding her. She knew him very well. Perhaps she was being cruel but they remained as friends and had thought Stephen had moved on, but this... well maybe she was the one who had to move on and stop pretending Stephen would create such a lie just to avoid seeing her, deep down she knew, she was not important to him anymore, otherwise he would have stayed by her side and she wouldn’t be marrying another man.

"I thought you two were on a little holiday" Doctor Palmer smiled at the unfamiliar face of Wong, who frowned, she didn't expect the sorcerer supreme would be buying street food in the middle of New York.

"Certainly, I don't want to get involved in your affairs, if you want to talk to him you're more than welcome to our sacred shelter. Good day, Madame. And congratulations, by the way."

Christine smiled in confusion and saw the man leave. How did he know? Then she realised Stephen must have told him, because once she entered the Sanctum Sanctorum she could see he was aware of the reason of her visit, maybe she was right and he still cared.

"Saturday at noon?" he asked before even saying hello, he was chewing a bagel and drinking a coffee from a carton, whilst sitting in the dark.  

"Hello, I'm glad to see you too... and yes..."

"I'll be there, thank you for inviting me" he nodded although he didn't look at her but at his food, the half-eaten bagel in his hand. "Congratulations to the lucky man" 

"Stephen..."

"I meant it. Now if you don't mind..."

"I don't... see you there, then. Wong is welcome to come too." She said leaving the invitation on a table, looking at him once more and walking away from the sanctum sanctorum after he whispered "the sorcerer supreme has more important business to attend than a wedding".

She sighed and left the place leaving an upset Stephen behind.

He had thought of not attending the wedding, but after a week of sleepless nights, he came to the conclusion he had to, he had to get over the fact she was not his anymore, and seeing it with his own eyes would be a way to move on. 

He stood, waiting patiently for the bride to walk into the well lit by sunlight church, regardless of the fact he was not the one who would marry her but another man, the man he had lost her to. She looked happy, her cheeks reddening when she saw the man waiting for her to join their lives.  For a second Stephen allowed himself to daydream, thinking she was smiling because of him, because of the joy of a wedding where he took the place of the intruder, where they would spend a lifetime together. His fantasy was broken due to the words of the priest who called the names of the new couple and started the ceremony. 

"I do" Christine pronounced in the middle of a smile, for a second she looked at Stephen, he was sure she would have wanted him to be there making the same vow. 

Stephen sighed knowing that he had lost her, and things would change from now on, he would like to look at his feet when the priest indicated the couple to kiss in order to seal the fate of both of them, instead he forced himself to maintain his eyes fixed on them and smile, he could not fool himself again. And he would have stared at them, if only a loud noise hadn't broken the silence and made everyone attending the ceremony gasp in horror at the sight they were getting. 

Maybe horror was not what everyone was experimenting, yet it was part of what they were feeling, since it was a combination of awe, shock, fear and madness. Stephen reacted after a brief moment and casted a spell that aimed to control the situation and grasp the dreadful kind of bottomless pit creature that had just emerged from the centre of the church chasing a young girl, however, it did not work. 

Stephen ran after them, tried to help the young girl who looked terrified whilst she attempted to run away, he came up with a spell that destroyed the bus that aimed to hit the unknown young woman, and split it into two. The girl fell to the floor trying to get her breath back, Stephen reached her and aimed to give her some kind of support, to try to figure out if she was in pain of any sort, instead she looked around and gestured at the people hurt due to the creature the sorcerer had just beaten. And there were you, after the calm had finally replaced the mess and uncertainty, a woman lying on the pavement, unconscious. 

"There are people who need a hand" the girl finally said and rose.

"I would like you to answer some concerns before you leave, if you don't mind, young woman" the girl nodded and then the man looked at you again, looking for a way to get you to recover yourself, while the girl verified the others were fine, others referring to the people who was inside the church and just passing by New York streets at the moment of the unusual event. 

"Alright, sir, everyone is safe except for her"

"And she is...?"

"No idea, she was in possession of this monster when I faced it"

"Ok, let's save explanations for later, we must take her to the Sanctum, I can say she's going to be fine, she's just sleeping"

"Wouldn't it be better to take her to a hospital?"

"I am a doctor, and I can say she will recover very soon"

And there you were, just a few hours after the accident, you opened your eyes and wandered through the room you were in with a sight.

"Good evening, miss" Stephen greeted and a young girl walked towards you. You didn't know what you were doing there until you started to remember all the chaos, it was your fault, you knew, and you were hoping you would just blank out long enough to forget, but you did not.

"Hello" you spoke softly, regretfully. "Where am I?" 

"It's the 177 A of Bleecker Street, now miss America and I would love to hear if you remember why you were in the... tentacles of a green one eyed creature. I hope it's not too soon for you to speak, but the sooner we know more about it, the sooner we get to solve this."

You frowned. "I'm sorry but I don't quite understand what is this all about, what is this monster you talk about?"

"Shuma Gorath" America replied.

Strange looked at her surprised.

"You knew its name the whole time?"

"You didn't ask that. You were supposed to know it."

"I knew it; I just didn't know you had knowledge about it."

"I learnt it somewhere"

Strange nodded while you tried to act oblivious. 

"So, how did you get into its tentacles?" 

"I don't know... I can't remember a single thing" you burst into tears. Strange sighed again, notably exasperated and wandered around the little room you were in. He was exasperated because he had no information and also had to take care of a useless lost woman that meant an additional problem. "Ok, don't worry, I'll get you back home." 

He smiled and you smiled back albeit, for some reason you couldn't help but keep crying. 

"Shuma Gorath is known for being one of the oldest creatures inhabiting the earth, it loves humans... actually more than that, it needs them. It is fond of human sacrifices. However, there is always something in return, it is some kind of a demoniac entity. At first I thought that knowing what woke it up would help us, but maybe we should address the problem itself." 

Stephen was having a conversation with America and another man whose name you hadn't heard yet, and you pretended to be asleep. You felt guilty, but you did not know these people, and neither did they, they would never understand why you did what you did, and you were terrified of being punished and that they would refuse to help you, to help your people who had nothing to do with the mess you had run into. 

-

It had been two weeks, you hadn't seen either the man who had saved you or his companion, but Wong. You had learnt his name during your second day in what you also learnt the place you were in was a sanctum sanctorum. You had suffered from fever during the first week, Wong had told you Stephen Strange had looked after you since he was a doctor and knew how to manage this kind of situations and thanks to his ability you could heal; during the second week you avoided to talk to anyone since you argued your mental health was having a collapse. You were afraid to spill the beans, but you would not say that out loud. 

It was the first day of the third week when Stephen Strange came back home. He was injured and in need for rest, he was facing a lot of trouble, or at least that was what you had heard (or eavesdropped (with no intention)), and it must have been something huge since he was not able to move and still sent your only companion for the last week to another place, a place whose purpose you could not understand, or location could imagine but still sounded beyond the borders of the world you knew. 

The Sanctum Sanctorum was a place you found unsettling but you adapted to it quite quickly to your own surprise, although you should not have been surprised, you had been in touch with that kind of supernatural events over the last couple of months, and perhaps that was why you were able to believe everything you had seen during those three weeks, otherwise you would not have relied on your senses, you had to admit you thought you were living in an oneiric world product of your dreams from time to time though. It was a gloomy place, shadows lit the long walls covered with antique wallpapers and decorated with even older wooden furniture; the environment of the building comprised deep silence and echoes from non-existent sounds, or rather sounds coming from an alternative version of the building, hidden behind the walls that came in the shape of distant echoes. Whereas, the atmosphere was suffocating, it was always crisp, no matter what the weather outside was, it would always be cold and dark, it was as though sun avoided your new shelter, the sun was allegedly avoiding you.  

"Mister Wong told me not to allow you to come here if you tried, sir." 

Stephen frowned, the scars on his face slowly healing, remaining just as little rivers of blood that had dried. A sigh came from his mouth and finally a tiny smile.

"No need to be formal, we're like a family now, call me Stephen." 

He didn't like strangers to call him by his first name, but you didn't know that, so you just nodded. 

"And Wong doesn't need to know I was here, I'll just grab a couple of books and go back to my bed, I promise." 

You sighed this time and moved to your side so the man could walk in the library, the only room that actually made you shiver, you didn't know why but you could swear someone lived there, someone only you were able to hear, to perceive, and who lurked in the gloom, waiting for someone to get distracted and stab them to death and then took their place, take their life. 

"I'll take them for you" You offered your help, he was still in a lot of pain, you could tell by looking at his pace and the least you could do was to assist the man who had helped you and got hurt probably because of it. 

His room was bigger than you had imagined considering the fact the room of the dormer window occupied most of the space in that part of the building. 

"Thank you" He said and you helped him to sit down on his bed since every little move seemed to be painful in his condition. He took one of the books, opened it over his legs and you could see nothing but words and sentences written in something that looked like Latin, so instead, you stared at him for a second, you were trying to get to know him, you admired his deep blue eyes, a sparkle of magic irradiated from them. He caught you staring and your cheeks reddened.

"Oh I wanted to say that... if you need anything, just let me know." 

"I will take you back home Y/N, don't worry" he assured you with a smile, you tried to smile too, but an awkward expression on your face was the only result, you nodded and forced yourself to leave.

"Y/N" Stephen said before you left, you stopped, waiting for an instruction. "I could actually use a bit of privacy, therefore if Wong or miss America or anyone comes, please don't let them come in here, and close the door after you leave, please."

You did as you were told and luckily for you, there were not any intruders hanging around until Stephen left his bedroom again.  

"Would you like to have something for dinner?" You asked with a shaky voice, he raised his right eyebrow, making you even more nervous, he looked defeated and more tired than before for some reason you could not tell.

"I would actually like to grab something, I can't recall when it was the last time I ate something and I think that could do some good in my condition."

"Right" you nodded, you entered the kitchen and he followed you "I can take it to your room."

"No, a different landscape will do it for me, thank you" he took a seat before the long wooden table and waited for the promised dish. Your legs trembled while you provided him the plate and a glass of milk. "A sandwich?" 

"I'm sorry I have never fond of cooking and actually I suck at it and didn't know what else I could..."

"It's alright, keep calm, thank you" he smiled at you whilst you kept looking at your feet. "Actually, it has a good taste, have you eaten already?" 

You shook your head. 

"Please, serve yourself and have a seat, I have been alone for long enough to go crazy."

You nodded again, you were silent while you ate your sandwich, again you were trying not to say more than you would like. 

"So tell me, Y/N do you miss home?" 

"Absolutely, Stephen. I mean, I'm very grateful for you having me here, but I am really homesick."

He nodded and looked at his plate, took a deep breath. 

"I think there's something I need to tell you."

There is no way home. It had filled your ears like water sometimes did, making you drown, and making you feel numb and lifeless. All of a sudden, your senses stopped working and all you could see ahead was darkness and solitude. You realised you were making the same mistake over again: it was not only about you, you had been selfish and now you'd pay for it. 

"I'm so sorry" he looked at you with sorrow, while tears ran through your cheeks with no way of stopping them. "I know this might not be the best thing to say, but at least you made your way here and you're safe and sound."

"What for? What am I supposed to do now? I'm a stranger in a world it's not mine, I'm nobody, I don't belong here, it'd have been better if I had died in the grasp of that beast, I deserve it."

Stephen knew you were going through grief, but still somehow he felt guilty because he should have seen all of that mess coming, either way, the only thing left to do was to get over it and start over in your new reality.

"You shouldn't blame yourself" He assured but you didn't look at him, you were too busy crying. He laid his hand over yours and stared at you with his blue eyes. "And you can stay here, and I'm sure you'll belong with us very soon."

"Thank you" you finally tried to smile at him, he was being polite and that was the least thing you can do in return, besides all of it had been your fault and he had nothing to do with it, he was just trying to help. "Would you mind if I..."

"Go ahead" he nodded drinking the last gulp of his drink. "We'll talk later."

-

Stephen had decided it was the best not to talk about your situation until your mental health was recovered, so he did not disturb you for some time, besides, he was busy. However, as days passed, he changed his mind, your routine was altered by the desires of your protector, all of a sudden you stopped being a stranger since the sorcerer supreme asked you to spend some time during the afternoons after his long shift which would not give him any time to rest, which you gladly did and you could also notice, he enjoyed your company as much as you enjoyed his, you were sure he was trying to help both of you by distracting yourselves from reality and your pain by talking. You did not know what he was dealing with, really, since he was too tired all the time, too frustrated about it and you didn't want to bother him. You'd talk about anything except for his job, it seemed he thought it would harm you, that you'd remember about what you had lost, and it was partially true, and that was another reason to remain oblivious about it. So you would give him as much comfort as you could by talking about random topics, and soon, after a couple of weeks you could tell you were becoming friends. Although, you could also tell from time to time, he'd rather be all alone, because he would stare at you with intensity and then leave with no explanation.

You had heard some old friend of his had become a villain and he aimed to help, as he always did, but he was struggling with that problem, and you soon knew he was desperate, since one night he knocked at your door and asked if you wanted to help. Your eyes widened but you nodded, he had left a book for you and you were supposed to read it, which you did. After you had finished the first one, Stephen brought you a second, and a third, and a fourth, and then a couple of minutes a day, generally at dinner you would discuss certain topics and he would ask questions about it, attempting to asses you.

"So what do you do if it is maintenance time for the black wooden door in the basement?" He asked.

"I must wear a plastic robe over my clothes and lights must remain off, there is no acceptable reason to do it otherwise."

"Fine, now you're able to give us a hand around here without risking your life, or anyone's."

Stephen nodded secretly proud of his new assistant. Yes, he needed your help at home, because the mission he was aiming to accomplish was too hard for him to face it alone, so he would take Wong with him, yet someone had to stay there and keep surveillance under the place. 

It was the end of your third month in charge, everything was in calm. The noises were gone, the shadows packed into boxes, the books clean and the windows shinning. It was late and Stephen was not home, nor Wong. You were all alone and a bad feeling was striking your chest, you had attempted to sleep with no results, but instead you left your bed and went down the stairs, barefoot. There was some kind of hushed wheeze coming from..., you were not sure where it came from, it felt like it was coming from the walls, from the floors, it was brought by the air from the upside down. You kept silent and leaned your head against the wall, you could hear it, it became stronger and louder, the funny thing was that there was nothing in the other side for the wall but the street, the silent street that slept like everybody else at that time. The wheeze became a scream that ran through the corridors and threated to catch you, you ran back to your bedroom but an echo of the scream came from the opposite side, the side you were running to, trying to escape.

"Oh my god!" You ran into something, or actually that something had smashed into you and both of you fell. It was your turn to squeal at the monster you had in front of you. The light you had seen and you had mistaken for a lightning, was starting to vanish.

"Just move!" Wong howled and then you figured out what was going on.

You hurried, turned the lights on and brought the first aid kit with you.

"Good lord, what happened to him?" You gasped in awe as Stephen's face was completely unrecognisable, drowned in blood and at first sight you could tell he was asleep.

"He'll be fine" Wong stated, "he will have to rest for a couple of days, but he'll be fine. Do you think you can look after him? I cannot stay that long."

"Of course" you whispered, and assisted Wong. A couple of hours later, Stephen was on his bed, sleeping with all of the blood gone. 

"He's too stubborn, don't let him leave the sanctum sanctorum."

And he vanished into a portal to an unknown destination. You had known Stephen for a couple of months now and notwithstanding the fact he seemed to be strong, it was the second time you saw him this injured and you wondered how much trouble he had to get into in order to save people. He was a hero. Even if he was not able to get you back home, he was a second chance for you. And although you felt guilty almost all the time for everything you had done in the past, by looking at him, by helping him, by assisting him and by taking care of him, you felt you were balancing your bad and good actions, it was a new start. 

"Wong ordered you could not leave the sanctum, Stephen, I'm sorry but I am not willing to disobey."

Stephen raised an eyebrow. He had been waiting for you to come, you'd bring him some food, some water, and some medicine, but above all, some company.

"If you obey him, you're disobeying me." 

"Yes, I'm aware."

"Let me think... you really worry that much about me, isn't it? You'd rather stand against my will than see me unhealthy again. How sweet."

"No way" You grinned. "I'm afraid of what Wong would do if he ever figured out I disobeyed his orders, haven't you seen that face of his? What if he sends me to another dimension or kills me?"

You both laughed. 

"Alright, I will obey Wong's orders too, and for the record it's not because I fear him or what he might do to me but because of the consequences my decision could bring to you."

"You will obey Wong because you prefer it over seeing me suffer, what a cute guy, I'm touched" you mimicked Stephen and smiled widely. 

"I care about you, Y/N" His voice was quiet, the mocking tone was gone all of a sudden. 

"I do too, Stephen" your eyes shone for a reason you could not think of, it was like hope coming back to your soul. "Alright, finish this and then you can take your nap. I'll clean the basement."

"Actually... I won't leave the Sanctum Sanctorum but still I'll work remotely."

"By no means, I'm not letting you get your way. If you don't rest enough you will never get better, Stephen.”

“There are things that must be arranged and cannot wait.”

You crossed your arms over your chest.

“Let me help you then. I think I can do more. Please, I've reading and learning so much, I could help so much around here if only you just let me!"

"We've talked about this before and the answer is no, it's too much of a risk for you..."

"You think I'm stupid?" 

"Please Y/N, not again, you know that's not what I mean." 

"Stephen! The least I can do is help! Please let me! I have nothing to lose!" 

"I can't lose you too!" He yelled at you, and you could tell he was angry. You paused for a second, he had never talked to you like that before, and you were at a loss of words. "What I said is true. I care about you! I don't know how I got here, I didn't want to, I didn't want to fall in love again, because I always lose those I love, and I can't lose you too. I couldn't help it though, falling in love with you, you're an enigma, but I don't want you to suffer because of me. That's why you shouldn't be here in the first place, I've been thinking of a way to get you out of here, to get you a real life out there." 

"You cannot do that!"

"I can and I will because it's the best for you, that's why you can't do more than you already do. Soon this won't be your place anymore. We'll remain friends in our minds. That's for the better, trust me." 

You saw pain in his eyes and tears threated to escape from yours. 

"I'm not going to leave you, Stephen. I am old enough to make my own choices, and even if they're mistaken most of the times, I still have the right to choose, and I'm choosing not to leave, I'm choosing YOU. You're the only thing I have left, you're everything I've got, you cannot leave me too, Stephen".

You burst into tears even if you didn't want, even if you tried very hard not to. You hid your face between your hands, refusing to see him. All the pain in your chest, result of your feelings, was flooding into you. You felt his hands take your head, and heard his heartbeat as he pulled you close to his chest. He took your chin and your gazes met. He took your cheeks and finally kissed you, just as he had done in your dreams during the last weeks, you had been loving him very deeply too. 

"I didn't want to be selfish and that was why I was going to let you go, forgive me, would you?" 

You nodded and allowed him to hold you for the rest of the afternoon. You had too much to say, but that day you would only enjoy each other in silence. 

Things had become clear between you two. You were not the kind of an ordinary couple, but still you loved each other intensely. And even if Stephen was too afraid of losing you, he could not help but love you more. You reassured him nothing wrong was going to happen. And at certain point he had thought it was indeed possible for the both of you to live together happily ever after, under the condition of you staying home and he going to work, things could go just right, you would not be at risk and he would always look for a way to come back home, to come back to you. 

"Today we're having dinner out, Wong".

"I'm sorry but I have plans already". 

You chuckled. 

"As much as I would like you to join us, this time I meant just Y/N and I, my dear friend".

Wong didn't even smile and just nodded. 

"Don't make the reality explode, please" and he left with the both of you laughing. 

"Put in your best dress, darling. We're going on a special occasion". 

"And what would that be?" 

"Just do as you're told and I grant you a night to remember". 

You hesitated for a moment but you did as you were told because you were not able to go against Stephen's will when he used that tone of voice, it indicated he only wanted you to be happy. 

"It's not the fancy place I thought you would take me to, but I like it” you admired the immensity of the sky above you, the sunlight vanishing into the darkness, the city becoming shadows at your feet, the love of your life by your side, this was everything you had been aiming before, this was your concept of joy.  

"I thought you didn't like those". 

"I don't, I'm just kidding, Stephen, what's wrong with you today?" Strange was the sort of sarcastic man who would take any opportunity to make a joke and you had learnt from him, or actually deep down your shyness you were just like him and that was why you had got along so well. 

"I'm just nervous" 

"Why? Is everything alright?" Stephen was not the kind of man who was nervous over little situations, thus you decided something big was going on. 

He sighed and looked away, he stared at the starry night before you in the highest storey of the building you were in. You kept looking at him worried. 

"Have you ever felt like you're about to make a wrong decision? Even if it's the best thing that could happen in your life?" 

"Yes" you confessed. "It's not a nice thing to feel. But I have always acted according to what I think it is the best. Is it worth the risk, Stephen? Is it worth the pain it may bring with it in case it goes wrong? Is it worth fighting for it?" 

"It is" he finally looked at you and gave you a tiny but sincere smile that lighted up his face. He took your hand in his and held it while kneeled before you. "I'm willing to take the risk of facing any situation, any danger and to protect you from them, are you? Will you marry me, Y/N?" 

Your eyes widened, your heart skipped a beat and your smile grew at the same size your eyes had. Your cheeks reddened and you could only shake your head in affirmation. He slid a little ring with a greenish stone in your finger. How long it had been since that glimpse of determination was drawn on his face? And you hadn't noticed what it was about. How long had he been looking at you with those eyes? When the taste of those lips had become familiar? You didn't know but now it was everything you needed. That kiss in the darkness gave you enough strength to face anything that would come. 

"I told you not to break anything" Wong said, it was late in the night, or rather early in the morning when you got back home. And you were a bit noisy since you two had just engaged and therefore you were behaving as a couple of teenagers madly in love, you broke a vase because you were trying to get to your bedrooms while kissing in the darkness.

Your smile faded for a second but Stephen couldn't care less, he had had some drinks which had finally blew away his worries and he was more than cheerful. 

"Be careful, Wong. I don't like that tone of yours, you must be kind with the Sorcerer's supreme wife to be" Stephen stated. 

Wong stared at you, and then at Stephen, looking for a clue.

"Is this a joke?"

"I would never joke about it! Here, she's my fiancé" He boasted, taking your hand and showing Wong the ring in your finger.

"Are you sure this is a good idea? You know Stephen you're at too much risk and..."

"I know, Wong, I know. I studied the situation before I proposed, now we're engaged and there's nothing stopping us. So good night!" Strange grabbed your hand and ran through the building.

"Sorry for waking you up!" You apologised before Stephen made you run upstairs. He kissed you passionately before you entered your room, you didn't want him to leave, and you could see he didn't want to either, but still you two said goodbyes and faded into your bedrooms, although none of you could sleep for the night. 

 Of course you had never planned a wedding, and now you could see it was both funny and difficult at the same time, especially since the groom was rarely at home and many decisions had to be made. From time to time Wong would give you a hand, after all, Strange had asked him to be his best man, so even though he did not really want it that way, he had to be involved. 

"Hello, love." Stephen greeted, after a week, where he had gone to an unknown dimension. You had been worried because after the first day you had lost touch with him. “I’m on time for the choice of the banquet?"

"Oh my god, Stephen I thought..."

"That I was not going to make my way home? I will always come back to you, darling." He smiled. 

In addition to his previous injuries you could perceive something else, it was a sort of darkness that passed through his eyes, besides that, you could not tell something was wrong, yet it was unsettling. Nevertheless, you didn't want him to be worried, so instead you gave him your brightest smile.

"You're just in time" You nodded and led him to the kitchen where a few plates with different food were on the table. The both of you tried all of them and made a decision together. Although you realised he had been less talkative than before he left for work. 

"Y/N" Stephen pronounced your name as though he was testing a new and rare wine he had never heard of before, as if he had just learnt your name, his voice was also more hoarsely than usual and you did not know why, perhaps because you were in the hallway in the middle of the night with no lights, but it gave you the shivers. His eyes glowed, you could tell, red light sparkling in the shadows coming from his eyes. 

"Good night, Stephen" you whispered trying to go inside your bedroom. Your inner voice didn't like the way he was behaving. 

"No, we should talk for a bit. Come to my bedroom with me. " He offered his hand and you hesitated for a while, but in the end you took it. Dark thoughts about your boyfriend were crossing your mind but they didn't have any basis, maybe his strange manners were due the lack of rest he had had during his expedition to unknown lands. And in either case you should be grateful he was back. 

"It's late" 

"I know" he said and gestured at his bed where you took a seat. The only light coming from the window let you see his figure standing in front of you, staring at you as if he was trying to find something, attempting to recognise you, or to get to meet you and all of your features, he looked confused and disappointed. Your heart froze, had he discovered your secret? He knew what you had done? Would he forgive you? Would he blame you and had he stopped loving you?

"Is it everything alright?" Your shaky voice tried to minimise the sound of your heartbeat. 

"It is, love" the words soaked with sour slipped through his mouth as he approached you, until you could feel his breath in your face. You closed your eyes in an attempt to hold back your tears. What you felt next were his cold lips on yours, devouring them, then descending to your collarbone, it looked there was no way of stopping him. 

"Stephen" you moaned, a moan filled with pain, you wanted this but at the same time, you weren't ready, not today, you needed to think about it, and besides, this was not what you have agreed, that was not the way Stephen would act, you tried to escape from his embrace but your strength was not enough, he kept kissing you instead, and had moved one of his hands to your thigh, that was the moment you started to feel fear, and you couldn't help, and a tear ran through your cheek. "Stephen, please!" 

He stopped and looked blankly at first at you while moving his tongue from one side to another, to his upper lip to the lower one as if he was savouring the taste, as though he was trying to remember what you tasted like, and then, there was a change in his features, now he was surprised, shocked, as if he didn't know what was happening, what he had done. 

"Oh my- I'm so sorry, Y/N... I don't know what happened...I" he attempted to reach your hand but you were so scared you refused his touch. "Forgive me, I don't know what happened, forgive me for being an idiot". 

He left because he thought that was the best thing to do, leaving you there in the darkness, alone and safe. 

- 

"Y/N" After a couple of days the sorcerer had finally reunited the forces needed to talk to you again, you could read regret on his face and his voice. "May I have a word with you?"

You breathed in and nodded, it was the middle of the day and the sun came towards the windows, illuminating the room you were in. 

"I am not sure how to say this... I've been trying to make up my mind but cannot come to any real conclusion except I suffered some sort of damage during my trip, that may have caused my behaviour, I have no words to express how regretful I feel. There's a hole in my memories, I cannot really recall everything I did, I just remember you were afraid and I've been blaming myself and hoping I didn't cause you any harm. I'll understand if you want to end our engagement, although that would certainly break me, nonetheless, I'm aware of my mistake and I'll face the consequences." His eyes filled with tears, he was really sorry, you could tell. "I just hope you can forgive me since my actions were out of my control, I'd never do something like that, otherwise, and I hope you know that too. And that I love you very deeply and would never do anything to hurt you on purpose. And that if you give me another chance this will never happen again".

"You didn't hurt me. I forgive you, Stephen, but I won't allow it happens again, that's for sure" your tears were about to come too. "And for the record, I do want to be with you, I just wasn't ready for it".

"It won't be needed because it won't happen again. I'm so sorry, my intention was never to force you to do something you didn't want to and I don't need you to explain yourself, love." He wanted to hug you but he stopped himself, you could perceive, he was ashamed to touch you, so it was you instead, who held him.

 "I've made mistakes too, and I love you too." 

Your relationship was in good terms but Stephen barely kissed you or touched you knowing what had happened and you wondered how the both of you could get over it, you decided time would help, because after all it hadn't been something really serious, nothing beyond losing a bit of trust. Anyways, things were almost back to normal. 

"Can I see the guests list?" The man asked and you nodded a bit surprised because he had not been interested in that part of the planning since the both of you were almost all alone except for a few friends you had made over the time you had spent in that universe. He stared at it, he was looking for a name, and you knew which one it was, and you did not know why but you felt a bit... jealous about it, even if Christine was married now (you had been at her wedding), sometimes you feared Stephen would go back to her somehow, and this... you shook your head in an attempt to shut your thoughts up.  You noticed Stephen was eying you and smiling.

"Oh, darling, are you jealous? You think I'm going after Christine?" It was curious Stephen's voice changed during the night, perhaps he was developing a certain health condition related to cold, because his voice was always gruffly at that time of the day.  But his tone was also sharper, and you didn't know why but you were suspicious. "You should not be, unless of course, you don't trust me, or you don't trust you're worthy, or maybe because you have a dirty secret. But you're so cute, innocent, I don't think you have a dark past, do you?"

"I don't like your jokes, Stephen."

"I'm sorry, honey. I just can't help but tease you a bit, you're adorable" He took your hand to his lips and kissed it nonchalantly. 

"I don't like it when you behave like this, Stephen"

"Like what, darling? I'm sorry if my joke was too much, I'm sorry if you're too sensitive about it".

"Stop it! Stop blaming me! Ever since you left for that mission you've become someone different, first you tried to..."

You stopped yourself, you had agreed to move on, real forgiveness was about letting things go, and start over again, that was what you had said to your fiancé. 

"Say it! You haven't forgiven me, you know it, and if you don't forgive me, then we'll not be able to live happily ever after as planned, so you better make up your mind, you're not a little girl anymore, think what you want before it's too late!"

And he left. The wedding was a month away and this argument looked like it was going to stop those plans. You stayed there and cried, you didn't want to, Stephen and you used to have something special, something beyond ordinary, something beyond what love meant in the world nowadays that made you burn inside out, that made your heart race, your hands sweat and your smile widen, you wanted to melt into one, and now your heart was shattered because it looked like that time had been an oasis in the middle of a storm. You decided it was still a good moment to cancel your plans and so you headed to his room to let him know your decision.

"Y/N!" He looked exhausted it appeared he had been fighting someone, sweat in his forehead, injuries on his face. "I'm sorry for my behaviour but I can tell, this was the last time I was rude to you. I know you probably want to finish our engagement, but I swear, this was the last one. There was...someone trying to interfere. The price of magic, but I'm sure I just defeated him. You have to believe me, my love." 

"Stephen..." you sighed. "I don't think..."

"You told me you had made mistakes too, please, I assure you, this is going to be the last one of mine."

"Fine, but it's the last time, alright?"

"It's a deal" You shook hands, and his was cold, as if you were touching a corpse, you swore to yourself there would not be a third mistake you would tolerate.

-

"Tomorrow's the day" Stephen smiled at you, that month had gone really fast and as Stephen assured you, he had been a gentleman ever since, the gentleman you had known before he turned into a sociopath, and a day before your wedding you had a mixture of feelings and memories that made you sick to your stomach. 

"We should not see each other today, Stephen, it brings back luck."

"Don't tell me you believe in such thing as bad luck"

"Says the sorcerer supreme"

He grinned, everything was like it used to, nevertheless, that darkness in his eyes hadn't vanished, and you didn't know if you should take it as a bad omen of your future marriage, you tried to be rational about it and let it go. 

"I suggest we have a sleepover". 

"You kidding? A sleepover?"

"I don't see why not. We're getting married tomorrow, today's our last day as boyfriend and girlfriend, no formalities, just being fun and young. We'll watch a teenager romance film, we'll have pizza and junk food, we'll play silly games, we'll sleep in sleeping bags... sounds quite good to me, good to help with nervousness".

He smiled and so did you because you were in love, completely in love for him, you had fallen so hard.

"Alright, a sleepover in pyjamas sounds good to me"

When you entered the room chosen to make your little party you found yourself amazed for the amount of items and the decorations there. 

"This is so cute"

"I thought you'd like it, love. Take a seat."

You chose the purple sleeping bag and sat on it while Stephen turned the TV on and played your favourite romantic film, although it was a little bit grim due to the way the romantic events ended and all the blood involved. Still the ghosts, the blood, the sinister sister, it all made sense to you. You ate pizza, chips and ice cream. Stephen stayed by your side all the time, he would occasionally steal a kiss from your lips that made your cheeks get red and would hug you too. Soon it was three in the morning and you had to sleep because later you would have to get ready, notwithstanding the fact you knew you would not able to sleep, you still had to give it a try.

"This is not a sleepover if we don't play truth or dare" Stephen affirmed when your eyes were already used to darkness. "And as I can see you can't sleep and I can't either... well, it'd be a good leisure activity".

"Okay but you go first".

"Alright."

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare".

You smiled mischievously, thinking of what Stephen would have to do in order to complete your challenge.

Stephen Strange was a man of his word and thus, when Wong was sleeping, very deeply he had to cast a spell on him so Stephen and Wong ended up looking like a couple of clowns, and he would have to take the responsibility the next morning when Wong couldn't go back to normal by himself. 

"Very funny, Y/N. Your turn. Truth or dare".

By now you didn't notice differences between the current tone of his voice and the tone it used to have before.

"Truth".

You couldn't see it, but he chuckled. He had got you.

"Tell me about your dark past, dear".

Your blood went cold and your words were caught in your throat. 

"Stephen..."

"We'll get married, Y/N, I need to know what is what you hide so deeply in your heart. It's to protect you. You know everything about me, now it's time to get to know about you. I can tell you're hiding it from me, and I don’t know why. I'll be your husband, and I'll never judge you, I'll help you to get rid of that weight in your chest, darling".

You didn't say a word, and instead sobbed. Stephen took his sleeping bag that was on the other side of the room and placed it by your side. "There must be trust between us. Otherwise, this is not going to work".

You sighed, maybe he was right. Maybe you needed to say it out loud. 

"The day you found one in the tentacles of that beast ... It was my fault". 

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... I made a deal with that demon. My family was in big trouble, with no way out, I didn't think it'd work but I was desperate, hopeless, I had heard of this creature, well the descriptions were not very accurate, but in the end I summoned it by asking him for help, I offered myself, but what happened... I didn't see it coming!" You burst into tears, and you were stuttering but Stephen did nothing to stop you, to prevent you from keep talking and therefore, he allowed you to continue your suffering. "I never wanted anything bad to happen. Everyone died but me. I was selfish and I deserve the worst. And then I found you and I can't help but feel terrible for what I've done, I don't deserve you. I shouldn't be here; everyone should be there but me. Sometimes I think all of this is just a cruel joke, that you'll vanish and I will be all alone, and I'd deserve it, but it'd break me. That's why I wanted to help you in the first place, maybe I could get to help someone in my situation, or maybe it would at least, be a suicide mission."

"We've all made mistakes, love, it's going to be fine".  he didn't look surprised, but still an arm wrapped around you, as always his touch made you freeze, his heart was barely audible, but as minutes passed, his hands became warmer, his heartbeat raced and his eyes became alive. He kissed the top of your head. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I'll make things right for the both of us, one way or another".

He hugged you, your tears falling on his chest, and then you fell asleep, and by hearing his breath you could say he had fallen asleep too. When you woke up in the morning because a crispy sun was stabbing your face, he was no longer there, you were cold, so maybe you had been all alone for a while already, and your dry tears made your face feel stiff, but there was no time for thoughts, you had to hurry because you had a wedding to attend, your wedding.

You were in front of the mirror, admiring the dress you were wearing, how it made you look so different, as if you were a princess taken from a tale, like everything in your life was fine and this was just another of your goals achieved, one of the things you deserved. You knew it was nothing like that, all the ghosts were behind you letting you see their faces, their mocking faces foreseeing your tragic fate. You let the veil fall over your face, and walked out your bedroom and left the sanctum sanctorum, heading for the church. 

"I apologise for this old tale didn't have the end I imagined"

Stephen had been waiting for you as he should have. White and red roses were spread all around the church and the music provided by an organ was playing in the background whilst you walked through the nave, towards the altar, towards the love of your life. The little crowd attending the ceremony observed you and your snowy chiffon in ball gown silhouette dress and listened to the sound made by your cathedral train sliding over the wooden floor of the old church. Through the veil you could see his figure standing, fidgeting; the sunlight coming from the stained-glass windows, showing you your way in the darkness and the piers of the gothic church the both of you had chosen for such a special occasion. 

Stephen lifted the veil and looked at you, while you tried not to, you had butterflies inside you trying to find a way out, and you were afraid to black out if you stared at him, so instead you just looked at the priest before you two. 

You could not listen half the ceremony, due to the noise of your heart, to the sweat in your hands and to your limbs shaking desperately. But you heard the question.

"I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life. I, Y/N, take you, Vincent Stephen Strange, to be my husband".

You smiled nervously, your voice creaking with every word your pronounced, tears were already running when you slid the ring in his finger. He smiled, but you were too excited to notice the coldness in his look.

"I'm sorry I was a demon, your loyal enemy..."

It was his turn. He took your hand, and rephrased the sentences you had repeated from the priest's lips. 

"I will love you and honour you all the days of my life...I, Vincent Stephen Strange, take you, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in bad times and in good, in illness and in health and as long as you get to keep your word." 

That was unusual but you were too nervous to notice anything, albeit the church kept silent about it. But no one seemed to care. The priest had already asked if any of you had something that could mean a reason to avoid that wedding, and both of you had answered a "no", so he approved the kiss that would seal your fates. Stephen took you by the face and kissed you slowly, but after a second, he stepped back and took a hand to his chest, everyone had been clapping, but now, they were all concerned about the health of the groom, who looked like he was having trouble breathing, and became pale. 

"Stephen?"

He finally stood as he should and hesitated for a second, he breathed in and then changed his expression. "Actually I have a reason, this marriage should not be settled. I'll will always be true in good and bad conditions but what I will not stand for is murder, that's my exception, and since you've murdered intentionally a whole universe and its inhabitants and kept it secret, and tried to get your way with it, I'm not marrying you, you already broke your promise, Y/N"

He took you by the wrist and then with a demonic gleam in his eye he placed a hand of his on your chest, your white dress starting to get pitch-black, gradually.  You had to sit down on the border of the step of the altar due to the sudden pain invading you. You felt the air leaving your lungs, the world spinning around you, except for the mocking face of your husband Stephen Strange, which had changed, it was pale, the bags under his eyes were as black as the sky at dusk, as well as his hair and his beard, but the look, the malicious glimpse you had seen just a shadow before, now completely eclipsed his look. 

"You're a liar, a criminal, don't cry, you're just paying for it. You deserve it and you know it".

"Stephen, what are you doing? " It was Wong's voice running towards you, followed by a woman you recognised as Christine Palmer. 

"Let me help" she gestured at Wong who moved out of the way, trying to do magic, to cast some spell in order to help you. You knew it was useless, since Wong's magic was weaker than Strange’s. The last thing you heard was the sour voice of Stephen, to him you were convicted. 

"Christine, don't even try it, she's a murderer." 

"What the hell happened to you? Who are you?" Christine looked at him, as though he was a monster in flesh and blood. "Oh my god, call an ambulance! Take off that spell from her! Now!"

"I won't, I have a good reason to do this." Strange approached Christine and took her by the wrist and whispered. "I'll clean the way so you can get back to me" 

"What? You're out of your mind! You should be doing something to help your wife! She is your wife, and I don't want to have nothing to do with you, to be honest. Please Y/N stay with us."

Your heart was broken, both metaphorical and literally. Definitely, weddings were not his thing.

"I feel ultrasounds inside myself of something I forgot while I was looking at the rain"

The crisp wind blew his hair and hit his face allegedly, it was trying to hurt him, to make him pay for his crimes, and it was meeting its goal. The rain had stopped for a few seconds but now a few drops were starting to fall on the ground again. Solitude was everything he had now, and that tombstone with golden letters before him, just memories, he wished he could forget. He had been there for the last twenty hours, and he didn't know what to feel anymore. At first his heart was racing, he felt as if he had won a competition, a world cup, the next he remembered was feeling betrayed, then pain, the most harmful pain he'd ever felt, it was drilling his chest and had left his eyes dry, so dry he would not be able to cry ever again. He was drenched, the rain had infiltrated within his black dirty suit, he had slept there and had wished to have that green stone in his power so he could do something, go back and warn himself about what was gonna happen. He left the rain diminish his pain, he looked at it and almost forgot why he was there and thought it was because a nightmare had woken him up. That was a good idea, to let go, to fix things, although he could never fix himself. A second later when he realised again where he was, he decided, it was not worth it, what was left? There was no one for him out there, you weren't there. He was nothing. 

"And there you are, you got used to it, I couldn't help it, I got lost in myself"

Oh fragil wind, it was not air shift, it was a lost soul looking for rendemption. "Stephen" the lost ghost yelped.  

"What do you think you are doing?" He asked to himself, the hoarse voice coming out again.

"I have to help her".

"You didn't do it before; you can't do it now".

"I can and I will".

"You can't bring her back, on the other hand, Christine is still here and..."

"You're not getting her, you don't deserve her, you don't deserve anything but destruction".

"You can't say such thing! Don't you dare! I've done all of this because of her. I destroyed my universe, I spent one thousand lifetimes in solitude, I acquired huge amounts of knowledge, I mastered in the use of black magic, I made my way here, I possesed you, I stole your life, I killed your fiancé, and all of it was due to her, because you don't know this pain, you were stupid enough to let her go".

"And you dared to judge her when you did the same…I know how it feels, and thanks to you, I know what I have to do, and that is not following your path".

"What do you think you are doing? The only reason I didn't kill you and took control over you completely is because I can't live if you die, because this body is yours".

"Then the both of us will die".

"You can't do this to me when I'm so close to her!"

"In any universe, she was not meant to be yours".

To get the sorcerer supreme killed was hard, but that spell would work. Stephen took the beverage he had prepared when he felt something inside his mind was going wrong, when he was not able to remember certain hours during the day, when he realised there was an intruder, he had thought he had made him go away until that night before the wedding when he came back with so much more force and had almost killed him, almost, just because he needed him, but now, with the last drop of strength he had, he took that deadly poison.

First darkness, then his body over the soil where his beloved wife was lying on. 

"Y/N" Stephen greeted, he was confused, he was lost, this was new, it felt bad.

"Stephen, I wish I had told you before" you ran towards him, you were still wearing your white dress, “I always felt sorry for what I did, I never wanted to be selfish”.

Stephen’s eyes filled with tears.

"I should have known what was happening. Forgive me, Y/N, forgive me because I didn’t know, what I know for sure is you never meant to do any harm and there’s nothing to forgive, I’m sorry my evil side used that knowledge, I’m sorry that he took advantage of your trust to hurt you. I’m sorry we couldn’t have our happy ending, I’m sorry I destroyed us".

"I do, I know it was not you, I heard the screams during the night, I saw the darkness, lurking in the building with its quiet steps and soundless laughs, and it was not you. He was waiting to you in the library, it was his place, he stabbed you to death there and I didn’t say a word. I didn’t tell you because… I just… can’t really remember what happened, I think I’m starting to forget ".

“Are you forgetting me?”

“I would never forget you, Stephen”.

He didn’t say anything else, now the both of you knew what had happened, a sinister Strange had taken your lives away. He kissed you passionately, and some tears ran through his cheeks because that was your last kiss, because you didn’t get to have what you had dreamed of and there was no way back, you held hands and walked, leaving the memories behind, leaving your lives behind, leaving the grey sky and the pouring rain striking the trees and the earth behind, a gust of wind blew white petals of roses and without noticing, you both were gone, but at least you were together in eternity.

Read my other work regarding Doctor Strange Supreme x reader here: Cold Coffee. 

[cafeacademia]

His Favourite Gal | Part 1

Mob!Bucky x Shy!Reader

Summary: You begin working as a waitress at Bucky Barnes’ favourite club in town. Little do you realise that working on mob territory owned by the infamous King of New York, Bucky Barnes, comes with its quirks and you’re slowly pulled into the mobster life.

Warnings: Fluff, some mentions of drunk people, mentions of crimes (though nothing happens, it’s just mentioned).

Word count: Approx 3700

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A/N: Hi loves!! This is a remaster of my own original fan fiction that I’ve decided to take from my old blog and (hopefully) improve. I’ve been slowly remastering fics that I am particularly attached to and I worked quite a lot to get this one overhauled and rewritten!! There’s actually very little of the original writing left, it was interesting to see how different my style is now compared to three years ago! This was also my first ever series I’d ever written on my old blog, so aside from the fact that I love the story, it’s special to me in that regard. Enjoy! 💕

If you’d like to join my taglist, you can do so using my taglist form HERE

It was raining when you finally finished your shift three hours later than when you were supposed to be off for the night. It was tiring working for the dingy old bar, it looked just as sad on the outside as it did on the inside, the old brick discoloured, old panelling slowly peeling off the sides of the building. It was a wreck and so was your boss too. He couldn’t have cared less if you worked yourself down to the bone, as long as he had staff doing a job, he didn’t care.

“I’m expecting you tomorrow, we’re opening early.” He had told you on your way out and it took everything in your willpower not to groan and roll your eyes and tell him so eloquently to fuck off. It was almost a relief when you heard the heavy metal door slam behind you as you stepped out of the back entrance. The air was just as bad. It was thick with smog and cigarette smoke and something pungent, an overflowing bin or perhaps an unfortunate street animal, you thought.

You were glad when it began to rain harder. At least it seemed to make most of the drunkards along the main strip try to find shelter instead of bothering you on your walk home.

Pulling your jacket hood up, you stepped down from the doorway and made your way out of the alleyway and onto the back street. It was never good to walk home alone, especially at night and especially in the part of New York you lived and worked in. It was on the edge of mobster territory and while Bucky Barnes, the King of New York owned it, it didn’t mean it was safe at all. It was quite the opposite, the district was prone to all levels of crime, from pickpocketing all the way up to armed robberies, arson and shootings.

But, you realised as you walked up the street, spotting a group of drunk men up ahead, drink men with rifles too, that never ended well, that perhaps mobster territory might not be a bad idea, especially when there were people working for Barnes along the entire street and they were known to keep the peace.

You heard the casino before you saw it, but as you rounded the corner you saw the lights, the late night rain distorting some of the huge party lights that lit up the sky above the building. Stark’s was not the most prestigious club in town, but it was the most respected and most feared. And funnily enough, for a place called Stark’s, the billionaire did not own his own named club. As far as you remembered, you’d seen it in the papers a few years ago that Barnes had won it off Stark in a game  of poker. You’d never know if that was really true, but it definitely seemed plausible.

As you passed the casino, you glanced over towards the dark tinted windows, watching as people came and went, mostly men in suits. But you noticed a sign from across the road that was taped onto one of the windows, huge bold letters making you stop in your tracks for a moment.

Waiting staff needed. And you stared at it for a moment, contemplating. You… A bar waitress, surely it was not wise for you to sign up to work in mobster territory. That would definitely land you in more dangerous places than you were already in.

But the longer you stood there and thought about it, you began to wonder if it was actually a good idea. You could at least try, what did you have to lose? And before you could even come to a full decision, it was as it was made for you, because a group of rowdy men walked towards you and you immediately took the decision to cross the road, putting you right in front of the casino.

How bad could it be? The worst that could happen was that you just had to return back around the corner to your miserable little bar job. So, with a sigh, you grabbed the flyer and walked towards the entrance.

The bouncer was huge and intimidating. Of course, you had expected as much with the club having the notoriety that it did. It wasn’t long before you were allowed to enter, the bouncer telling you, “speak to Natasha at the bar”, and as you headed through into the casino, you assumed the absolutely stunning woman behind the bar right ahead of you was Natasha.

The club was bustling with people, though it was not as stuffy and loud on the inside as you had expected it to be. There was a clear divide between people dining and drinking at tables around the bar and the casino side of the club which appeared to be behind a velvet rope and deep burgundy red curtains at either side of the bar. It was far more high end than you had expected, seeing as the outside of Stark’s resembled a kind of fancy nightclub, but you supposed the King of New York did happen to own it.

“Are you here about the job?” The woman at the bar asked as you approached her. You wondered if it was your very casual clothing in such a formal setting that gave you away or the flyer in your hand. Either way, you suddenly felt very intimidated and very underprepared. Perhaps this had been a bad idea. You were a girl dressed in the dregs of your wardrobe while trying to get a job in the most respected club in the entire city. Not likely.

“I saw the advertisement outside, I hope that’s alright.” You said as you lifted the flyer in your hand and she held out her hand to take it from you. “Are you sure? We haven’t had many applicants because of certain activities.” She told you, but you knew what she meant, it was obvious. This part of town, even outside of mobster territory was swimming in crime. “I’ve got nothing to lose.” You replied. And it was true, you did have nothing to lose. No family, no responsibilities outside of your current job, which this would replace, no children, no pets, no side hustles. Nothing. And that probably made you a good candidate.

The woman smiled at you, her lips curving up into a smirk as she took a moment to look you over before she extended her hand across the counter. “Natasha.” She introduced herself, smiling as you shook her hand. “Nice to meet you.” You mirrored her smile and gave her your name before she let go of you. “Let me just get someone on the bar and we’ll talk.” She told you.

And moments later, you were following Natasha through the casino, passing by all of the business men, mafia family members and rich men and women who were chancing it at gambling games. Suffice to say, you felt even more out of place than you had done just moments beforehand.

“Where do you work right now?” Natasha asked as she let you pass her into an office near the back of the building. “I work in an old bar just around the corner called The Rabid Dog.” It was not a pleasant name, it always made you cringe whenever you had to tell people where you worked and you didn’t fail to notice the way that Natasha seemed amused by the name of the bar too.

“So you’ve done bar work? What about waitressing?” She asked as she gestured for you to sit down on one of the chairs in front of the desk. Natasha didn’t sit behind the desk, instead she just dropped down into the chair next to yours and rested one leg over the other as if she was having a casual conversation with a friend. “My bar serves food, so I do it on a regular basis and I also used to work in a restaurant a few years ago.” You explained, but before either of you could say anything else, the door swung open and you nearly fell out of your chair.

“Who’s this?” Bucky Barnes, the King of New York himself asked as he walked through the doorway. What had you walked into? You knew he owned the club, but you’d never expected to actually meet Barnes. “This is our new waitress.” Natasha said proudly as she stood. You knew better than to interrupt, but you gathered that someone must have noticed the look of confusion on your face because just as a second man entered the room, he said, “Does our new waitress know she’s the new waitress?” The second man asked. He was blonde, just as tall and muscular as Barnes, though he looked at you with less of a poker face and more of an amused smirk.

“Really? You just hired her like that?” Mr Barnes asked as he approached you. “I like her.” Natasha countered, both men giving her pointed looks, though Mr Barnes raised his brows and nodded before turning back towards you. “She likes you.” He repeated what Natasha had said. You couldn’t help but send Natasha a questioning glance. She had just met you minutes ago and she’d already analysed you enough to know that she liked you and you wondered if Natasha was much more than just a bar girl.

“Have you done waitressing before?” Barnes asked. “I just asked her that.” Natasha huffed. “Yes sir, waitressing and bar work.” You responded. “And do you have any family?” He asked next. “No sir, none at all.” You replied. “And you know this isn’t the type of job cut out for ordinary people, right? This club sees a lot of things.” Mr Barnes went on. “I do, sir.” You nodded.

“Buck, maybe we should consider-.” But Mr Barnes casually held up his hand to silence his friend. “You’re hired.” He announced, the entire room falling silent and all you could do was stare at Barnes for a moment, stunned that he had just hired you right there on the spot. “I am?” It came out a little more hushed than you had intended, Bucky nodding as he smirked at you. “Whatever your pay is at your old job, I’ll pay at least double, more if it’s not enough. Natasha will contact your old boss and get you ready for your first day.” And with that, Bucky Barnes and his friend left the room and Natasha looked over at you, watching as the astonishment slowly dissipated.

“I’ll let you know when you start work.” Natasha broke the silence and you glanced over at her. “Just like that?” You asked, still surprised. “Just like that.” She responded. “Don’t worry, Barnes wouldn’t keep me around if I wasn’t a good judge of character.” She winked at you and you wondered again if she was something more than just a bar girl.

The job, you realised after your first couple of days working at the club, was far more interesting and a lot more rewarding than your previous job at the old bar. The club was a scene for all kinds of happenings and while nothing nefarious really went on, especially under Bucky Barnes’ nose, you did overhear an awful lot of conversation.

You learned as well in those first few days, that while this was not where Mr Barnes resided, he used the club as a place to carry out some of his business meetings and discussions as well as a place to relax.

Barely a week into your new job, you were getting ready for your shift in the little back room. Lockers lined the walls with a mirror at the side of the door and comfortable benches in the middle of the room. Dressed in a simple, but pretty black dress, you tied the strings of your little demi apron at the back, though you paused, a little startled when the door was abruptly pushed open and Natasha stepped in.

“Barnes needs you.” Nat announced with urgency and you frowned at her. “He does?” You asked. “He needs someone to waitress him and the family tonight, he’s asking for you.” She informed you. “I thought-.” “Yes, I know normally we have security taking orders to the waitresses, but he’s personally asking for you to waitress them tonight.” Nat told you and you paused with a slight air of confusion about you. “Alright, I’ll waitress Mr Barnes then.” You nodded, quickly fumbling with the ties of your apron before you shoved your jacket a bit more firmly into the back of the locker and shut it properly, letting Natasha walk you through the club towards the private dining space they were occupying.

Nat rushed you into the room and closed the door behind you, leaving you to stand rather flustered in front of a cosy looking dining room with a round table in the middle. Bucky was sat at the furthest end of the room, his chair seeming to have a higher back than all of the others. At his left was Steve, who you’d been properly introduced to on your first day at work and on his right was Sam Wilson, who you understood was a very close friend of his.

“Sugar, you made it.” Bucky enthusiastically greeted you as you approached the table. You hoped that you didn’t appear too flustered and intimidated, but you were aware that there was only so much you could play off with smiles when you knew your eyes might give you away. “Good evening Mr Barnes, gentleman.” You nodded, finally taking a step into the room and approaching the table, receiving polite hellos and smiles from all of them. “Are you looking after us tonight?” Steve asked, sitting forward in his seat and casually leaning his elbows on the table. “I am, Mr Rogers.” You nodded, lifting your notepad and pen as if it were proof. “Allow me to introduce you to everyone.” Bucky waved you over to him and you took a few steps towards him as he went around the table naming everyone. It was quite easy to distinguish that the people sitting closest to Bucky were of more importance to him as he listed Clint and Scott, who seemed to be his security and Pietro who appeared at first glance to be a mentee as well as the rest of the group.

“C’mere sweetheart.” Bucky motioned you to come and stand next to him once they were all done ordering food and drink. You stood where he’d pointed to and he turned in his seat to face you. You felt your cheeks warm intensely as Bucky smiled up at you, his eyes so soft and sweet and you questioned for a moment how exactly this man was the King of New York. He was incredibly sweet looking and for a moment you found yourself melting on the spot. “Is that everything, Mr Barnes?” You asked. “Not quite, sugar. Add whatever you’re having to the list, it’s on me.” He grinned at you. “I – uh, sorry?” You asked, a little confused. “Are you sure, Mr Barnes?” You hesitantly met his eyes though you immediately broke eye contact. “Absolutely, please eat with us, doll.” Bucky’s voice went soft as he tilted his head back a little to see you better, his lips pouting ever so slightly. “As you wish, Mr Barnes. Thank you.” You smiled at him, speaking softly before jotting your meal on the notepad and rushing out of the room.

You nearly bumped into Natasha as you made your way towards the kitchen. “He wants me to eat with them.” You blurted out before even making your presence known. “He what?” Nat frowned. “Mr Barnes wants me to order my food and drink and eat with them.” You repeated, more calmly this time. “Really?” She looked at you wide eyed. “Does he not do that with other waitresses?” You questioned, ripping the order out of the notepad and handing it to the kitchen staff. “No, he’s never done that before, never requested it either.” Nat shook her head. “Are you sure?” You surely couldn’t be the only one he’s ever asked. “I’ve worked here every night for three years and not once has he ever requested that.” Nat said with a single raised brow. It was definitely unusual. “I’ll get someone to call for you when the food’s ready. Let me get their drinks together.” She told you, waving you away before she went to look at the order you’d brought in.

You waltzed into the private dining room with a large round tray balanced expertly on one hand. The glasses on top gently clinked together as you walked. Handing out their orders, you took your drink last. You noticed quickly that all the men around the table had shifted and there was now an empty seat next to Bucky. “Come and sit with me, doll.” He patted the empty chair. Steve hopped up to pull it out for you and you obliged, gently sitting yourself down in the chair and turning slightly to face him. You didn’t want to assume you could speak unless spoken to, so you politely kept quiet while Bucky noticeably studied your face. “Tell us about yourself, sweetheart.” He smiled, sitting back in his chair as he picked up his drink and took a sip.

“I’ve been around and lived in a few different places. My parents passed several years ago and it’s just been me ever since, so I moved back to Brooklyn.” You did appreciate the soft look on Bucky’s face as he listened to what you said, almost like he felt sorry for you. Before you could continue though, Bucky rested his hand over yours and squeezed gently. “I’m sorry about your parents, truly I am.” He spoke just above a whisper. “Thank you, Mr Barnes.” You gave him a tight lipped smile. “Call me Bucky. We’re with family, which means we’re all on a first name basis, alright?” Bucky gripped your hand gently. “Alright, Bucky.” You nodded, mirroring his smile.

You told him more about yourself and for a moment, Bucky seemed anything but a mobster. He asked you about the books you liked to read and talked to you about the subjects that seemed to make your eyes light up and your smile a little wider. As the evening drew on, you became comfortable enough to share a few timid little jokes, which elicited chuckles and laughs from even some of the most scary looking men around the table. One of them, Drax, who was terrifyingly huge and angry looking, clapped his hand over his chest and roared with laughter the first time you told a joke, which completely took you by surprise. What surprised you more was how easy it was to make Bucky laugh and how down to earth and sweet he was.

By the time everyone had eaten and spent some time drinking and chatting and enjoying themselves, you had warmed up to all of them, especially Steve, Sam and Bucky. All of them though, were soft and charming on the inside, showing you a side to them you were unsure anyone else in the club was ever going to see. They were intimidating on the outside, exuding a terrifying confidence, but on the inside they were all sweet and gentle and caring and it absolutely melted you.

And after you had said goodbye to all of them and made your way back to the locker room, Clint, one of Bucky’s closer family members, followed you in. “Barnes wants me and Scott to make sure you get home safe.” He told you. “He’s requesting we give you a lift back in his SUV.” Clint added, leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed over his middle. It definitely seemed unusual, especially to be personally driven home. As far as you were aware, not even Natasha, who seemed very close to the family was ever given a lift home. But then again, judging by her reaction to Bucky wanting you to dine with them earlier, you supposed this was all rather new for them, just as much as it was for you. “Alright.” You nodded as you opened your locker, pulling off your apron and putting it away before you took out your jacket and bag, quickly getting them both on before letting Clint escort your towards the back exit.

“Hey doll, hope you don’t mind the spontaneous ride home.” Bucky grinned, far too pleased with himself that he was having his men not only drive him, Steve and Sam home, but also you. Of course it meant he had a longer way home, but Bucky didn’t care. Seeing you all off to your houses was important to him and why seeing you off specifically was important, Bucky was starting to wonder why.

After sliding into the SUV and getting comfortable on the soft, plush seats, you were driven home with gentle, quiet chatter between Bucky and Sam, Steve joining in occasionally until you arrived at your apartment building.

“See you the day after tomorrow, sugar.” Bucky smiled, leaning towards the open door to speak to you as you got out of the car. “Thanks for the ride home.” You waved at all of the men in the car, Scott getting out to escort you up to the front door of the building, the car waiting until they had seen you safely into the building and the door shut behind you.

Sitting down in your bedroom, safely back in your apartment you laid down in the soft blankets, replaying the evening in your head, realising you were smiling to yourself when you remembered that Nat had said no one had ever been asked to dine with Bucky and his family before. It brought warmth to your cheeks as you settled in for the night, looking forward to your next shift at Stark’s.

Bucky Taglist (OPEN):

@losers-official @barneswidow​ @megantje123​ @anchoeritic​ @struggling-bee​​

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Request: Falling (Alec Volturi x Reader)

WARNING: Gore! Death!

The day had started off so well, peaceful. More peaceful than it had been the past couple of days prior. Yet things went down hill as night fell and seemed to only get worse. Eventually you were told what was happening. The Volturi was under attack. 

Aro didn't have to touch Alec to know his thoughts as his gaze fixated on you. He couldn't leave you unprotected but couldn't neglect the leaders. Ultimately, you were sent to be with the wives who were at the very top of the tower, guards standing guard at the entrance. 

"Everything will be fine." Athenodora told you as she gripped your arms tightly. "Our husbands will be with us soon. You don't need to fear." Sulpicia added. You nodded but were unable to hold back tears. Athenodora pulled you into her arms, holding you close. Her motherly instinct coming through in your moment of need. Truth be told, the Volturi were ever so slightly more attached to you than regular humans. Not just because you were Alec's mate but also because you were very unlike them. You were completely innocent and it often made vampires wonder just what Alec saw in you considering the two of you were so different. Now if anyone were to question it, Alec would lose his temper considering it an attack on you. It also meant you were very sheltered by the Volturi. You didn't know the details of Alec's past. Only the necessary parts and you knew next to nothing of what he had done over the centuries. Alec wanted it that way, considering it to hurt you more than anything. It wouldn't have been to your benefit. 

Before you could be reassured any further, there was loud thuds, one after the other. Athenodora gestured for you to go to the other side of the room. Whatever caught their eye made both Sulpicia and Athenodora hiss and growl. As they moved to maintain their distance, a man, also a vampire, made his way into the room. He had platinum blonde hair and striking red eyes. "Good evening ladies." He smirked, his accent very prominent. He cast a glance to you. "Good evening to you too, little human." You stayed quiet, nervous and something about the man told you that you had every reason to be-even if you don't know those reasons. "I assume you may not know me. I doubt they'd tell you and judging by your face I would be correct." He grinned at you, the grin sinister. "My name is Vladimir and I have some business to attend to with this coven." You trembled in fear as you looked between who you now knew to be Vladimir, Athenodora and Sulpicia. "Shaking like a leaf." Vladimir said to himself, his eyes running up and down your figure. "I wonder if you'd do the same if you knew what those witch twins have done in their wretched existence." "It's alright, sweetheart." Athenodora called out from behind him. "You'll be alright." "Don't say that." Vladimir said softly, over his shoulder. "It's a lie." "They aren't involved in this. Don't hurt them when they are innocent." Sulpicia responded. Vladimir scoffed. "Since when did the Volturi ever care for innocents?" Vladimir said coldly before turning his attention to you once more. "They're involved now. Alec is the one infatuated with you, isn't it? Or was it Jane? I'm quite certain it was Alec." Vladimir was in front of you in moments. You stifled a scream, biting your lips and breathing quickly. Vladimir tilted his head with sympathy, whether it was real sympathy or not, you couldn't be sure. "Poor thing, you'll have a heart attack if you don't calm yourself little one." Vladimir took your face in his hands and you froze. "Come now, deep breaths. I want you aware for what comes next." You did as he asked, simply out of fear of what would happen if you did not. "That's it." He said with a malicious smile. "I must inform you that Alec isn't coming for you. You see, the higher ranked guards have their leaders as priority and their leaders...are only really concerned for their remaining mates. They're going to discover that I've incapacitated their guards protecting their wives." You immediately thought to Afton, Chelsea, Corin and then Renata. Although she must have been with Aro. Vladimir continued. "I have no doubt they'll come in time for them. I can't say the same for you, little one."

A tear ran down your face and Vladimir brushed it away with his thumb. "Are you going to kill me?" You asked quietly between breaths. Vladimir nodded with a hum. You immediately broke out into sobs, terrified of the man who had your head in his hands. Vladimir hushed you softly. "I know, it's not fair. However, if you knew... you'd understand." He walked you back towards the balcony door. "I'm not going to bite you. I'm not going to break your neck. I'm not going to do anything like that. That's too easy and I don't particularly want you to suffer. I want that wretched witch twin to suffer. Although I'm not going to guarantee you a painless death." "Vladimir..." Athenodora called, trying to take his attention from you, a small but desperate attempt to save your life. "I know, even I am struggling to go through with this. That terrified face, a little human who doesn't understand what's happening around them. Even I can feel sympathy." Vladimir said to the wives as he stared into your eyes. "Then don't." Sulpicia said flatly. "You've made your point." "No, I haven't." Vladimir responded. "You took everything from me. I will make you all suffer and those witch twins will know the feeling of what it's like to lose someone you love. When every last one of you are in pieces. Only then, will I have made my point." His face softened once more. "However, I will extend my apologies to you. You seem to be a lovely person but the company you keep...not so much. So you pay the price. That is the way of the world." 

Before you could even register what was happening, Vladimir forcefully walked you back before pushing you hard. Your eyes widened, mouth opening with a silent scream as you felt your body topple over the banister. Vladimir turned back to the wives with a smirk. "Do you really think me such a fool that I wouldn't notice Jane slowly getting closer?" 

Vladimir was thoroughly enjoying the current predicament. He had both you and the wives in the same room and at his mercy. He would enjoy it for as long as he could. Therefore Jane had to be particularly careful. She couldn't rush there, not when you were there. There was a better chance at keeping all three of you alive if she moved slowly, let him talk as she sneaked closer. However she knew she had to get there before any were hurt. Jane heard your pounding heart and then your sobs when Vladimir made his intentions known. She made it to her room and stilled. This would be the one place she had a good chance at hiding as it was filled with her scent. 

From this point onwards, she had to be quick. However she couldn't being herself to move. She looked up towards the ceiling, listening for the tower. Vladimir had moved, as you had and realisation struck. She wouldn't make it in time, not for you. The wives yes, but not you. She couldn't let the panic set in even though she knew it was over. The next thing she knew, you were falling. 

Everything went quiet for you, only the wind whistling in your ears as you floated. Maybe if you thought you were floating, it wouldn't be so frightening. Although the thought didn't help because you weren't floating. You were falling. You couldn't even scream, clawing the air as though that would have stopped you. If you didn't move, you'd land head first and if you had to land, then you didn't want it to be on your head. 

For Jane, time slowed down as soon as she saw you passing her window. The two of you locked eyes for a moment. Her shocked eyes meeting your terrified ones. There was so much she wanted to tell you in that moment and even more so, she wanted to grab you but couldn't believe her eyes. You were falling too quick and she wouldn't reach you in time. 

Time seemed to gain speed once more once you passed the window. All the while Jane rushed to the window, falling to her knees letting out a scream of horror. Her twins mate was falling to their death and she couldn't do anything about it. You had moved, you'd land on your back but suddenly that didn't matter anymore. You knew you wouldn't survive this. You looked up at the sky- trying to ignore how the castle's tower grew taller and taller by the second. 

Glass shattering was the next sound to be heard beyond Jane's scream. Demetri and Felix were running towards Jane whilst Alec headed towards the shattering glass. Demetri and Felix rushed into Jane’s room, four stories up the tower. Jane was supposed to be guarding the entrance to the tower and to hear her scream was beyond concerning as well as frightening. The two men found her on her knees, staring at the window. "What-" Demetri couldn't finish his sentence because multiple stories down, Alec's own scream could be heard. "Alec!" Jane screamed as she clutched the floor boards, almost as though in pain. In agony for her twin. 

Alec could smell the blood, but didn't think it could be yours. However when he found your body sprawled out across the ground surrounded in glass and covered with cuts and blood. There was more than that though, a small steady pool of blood had began to grow from underneath you. The smell of blood suddenly for overwhelming, along with the shock. He slapped a hand over his mouth and nose, throwing himself against the stone wall behind him. Before he could hold back, Alec let out a gut wrenching, agonized scream. 

The receptionist, Carmella, rushed in hearing the commotion. Perhaps it was a foolish thing to do, if anything survival instinct should have told her to run the opposite direction of the screams but they sounds so pained and panicked, with so many other emotions there was surely a list. She gasped, a cry of horror escaping her when she opened the door to see you across the room, sprawled out on the ground, surrounded by glass. A hole in the glass roof where you had fallen through. Carmella turned hearing more cries and screams in the corner. Alec had nearly indented the wall with his attempt to push himself back. His hands covering his nose and mouth but his screaming was so loud that it did nothing to really muffle the screams. Carmella was quick to take off her heels rushing towards you. "Help them!" Alec began to scream. "(Y/N)!" Alec continued to scream and cry as Carmella moved as much glass as she could to allow her room. "They're not breathing!" Alec cried out in hysteria. Carmella was quick to press a finger to her lips, doing her best to calm him despite the scene having her tremble too. "Alec, shh! You need to be quiet, these men are still here!" "Save my (Y/N)!" Alec yelled back. "Alec, you need to stop screaming! I will try to help them but you'll bring them here. Don't scream!" Carmella pleaded.  Alec curled into himself, still in hysterics, but not screaming as much. Mostly talking to himself, begging you not to leave him, inconsolable for his (Y/N). Carmella looked at your lidded eyes, swallowing hard. You were younger than her and to see you lifeless hit her very hard. She put her hands on your chest, pressing down repeatedly. After sometime, stopping to pinch your nose and breathing twice into your mouth. You didn't respond and she repeated the process. "(Y/N), please!" Alec begged. "You can't leave me! Please! Wake up!" Alec took a deep unnecessary breath. "Breathe!" He screamed. 

Athenodora looked at Vladimir with disgust but was unable to hide her own grief. "Breathe!" They heard Alec scream. "Now he knows what that feels like." Vladimir said flatly. "Now he knows what that loss feels like." Vladimir smirked slightly. "Maybe he has it worse. Our kind are still alive when ripped to pieces, it's the fire that kills us. Humans are such fragile beings." Athenodora glowered at him. "You chose the easier target, that is all." "No I chose the one you least expected." Vladimir retorted. "You're all so busy protecting yourselves. You would know, you're kept in a tower. That all of you forgot the easier target. I know how much that human means to many of you. Him, no less." Vladimir nodded behind him, talking about Alec. "Aren't they they child you never had?" Vladimir asked, tilting his head. Athenodora glared at him. "You don't know what you're talking about." "I'll admit, they almost had me. That face, filled with fear. They're innocent, I'll give them that much but this world punishes you for the company you keep." Vladimir sighed. "I'll admit expect you two will put up more fight, won't you?" Athenodora and Sulpicia stared him down, they wouldn't show him any fear. They wouldn't give him the luxury. Instead, they looked at him in anger. 

"Come back to me!" Alec cried out as Carmella bit her lip, beginning to lose hope. "Breathe!" Alec pleaded. "Please, breathe!" Carmella froze, she could have sworn you moved. "Alec?" Carmella said quickly, feeling for a pulse. However, Alec was too distraught to hear anything. "Alec!" Carmella yelled. It was enough to gain his attention. "Are they breathing? Are the alive!?" Carmella continued to dig around your neck for a pulse when Alec gasped. At the same time Carmella felt it. A faint pulse, but there. "They're... they're alive." Alec said quietly, eyes wide with disbelief. In that time Demetri rushed in. His eyes darted around the room, taking in the scene. "Is there a heart beat!?" It was Carmella's turn to feel hysteria as it slowly built up. "It's...it's still there." Alec said quietly. If he could have cried he would have. The relief, silencing him.  "It won't last long." Demetri ground out before looking to Alec. Alec looked back at Demetri, understanding what Demetri had to do. Alec nodded.  Demetri moved Carmella out of the way. "Carmella, leave. Get out of here." Demetri ordered and she did.  Demetri moved your head to the side, biting your neck, moving your head to the other side before biting your neck again. He took both of your wrists, biting each. "I can't do anymore. I won't be able to stop." Alec nodded. "Four should be enough." 

Carmella broke out into a run before being face to face with Stefan. She screamed before Stefan roughly grabbed her by the neck. "You are interfering." Stefan snarled before biting into Carmella's neck and pulling back, taking any flesh latched against his teeth with him. Carmella immediately began to choke, as Stefan dropped her to the ground. Alec and Demetri heard the commotion. With a newfound calm Alec turned to Demetri with a dark look in his eyes. "Get them out of here." Demetri understood. Alec couldn't take you away from here, the smell of your blood being too much. Demetri's gaze flickered to the door. It seemed Alec had other ideas. Demetri nodded, scooping you up. 

Alec marched down the hall, seeing red, everywhere he went. Before him was Carmella, choking on her own blood. He bent down. "Thank you." Alec said without emotion. "I am grateful for all you have done to save my (Y/N). I'll make this easier for you." Alec took Carmella's head in his hands as she continued to choke, but maintained eye contact with him. He twisted quickly with ease as and loud snap erupted.  With ease, Alec stood up once more, hunting down every last one who was responsible for your possible demise. Alec wasn't stupid, you were still in danger, you had to survive the change and whilst that was still to be known, the hurt and rage he felt continued to build. 

"Jane, have you fed?" She heard Demetri demand as he marched down the hall. "Yes." She opened the door, meeting Demetri with your limp body. She let out a choked gasp. "Are they...?" "I had to. They had already died once." Demetri said quickly and Jane swallowed, remembering your eyes locking with hers as you fell. "Will you stay with them?" Demetri asked as he put you on the bed. "Yes. You go. Make them suffer for this." Jane said firmly. "I won't lie to you, Jane." Demetri said, turning to meet her gaze. "If Alec gets to them first, there won't be much left." 

Aro, Caius, Marcus, Renata, Santiago and other guards burst through the tower doors. Immediately, Caius and Aro grabbed their wives, pulling them behind them. Vladimir simply grinned, raising a finger. "Can you hear it? The agony of losing a mate?" They all could, Alec's screams, Jane's agony for her twin. Vladimir turned to Marcus specifically. "You and I know that pain better than anybody." Marcus glowered at him. He could tolerate being the cause of misery for many, he had taken many mates from others but seeing his mates killer before him, grinning at the loss of Alec's mate was something that filled him with rage. Yet he did not move. Vladimir was alone and with them and if the Volturi had anything to say about it, he wouldn't be leaving alive. "I have a whole castle to my disposal so, stick together is my advice." Within seconds Vladimir jumped over the same balcony you had, in the other side from which you fell and landed on the roof. Then he was gone. 

"Santiago, help Afton, Chelsea and Corin." Aro said lowly. "Dear ones, we best find a safe place...for now." The group had moved to Jane's room, where Demetri was just about to take his leave. This was the safest place they could be, Jane being one of their greatest weapons. Athenodora smoothed back your hair, kneeling at your bedside. "You're going to be alright sweetheart." She said quietly. Her eyes ran over your broken, bruised and bloodied body as the group were updated on what happened to you after the fall. Demetri explained he was the one to change you, biting four times but it was the self control he had left. Aro wasn't entirely certain it would be enough considering the amount of damage you had taken. Nearly all of your bones were broken and the venom needed to travel throughout your body before your heart gave up for a second time. "Let me." Jane said suddenly, from the other side of you from Athenodora. "Let me match the number of Demetri's bites." "Jane, your self control isn't as refined as Demetri's, even if you have just fed. Can you be certain you could stop four times?" Marcus responded. Jane hesitated. "I have to try. I can't let them...they can't die." She whispered. "Do as much as you can." Athenodora said firmly, reaching for Jane's hand. "I'll take over if I need to." "Athen-" Caius spoke up but she cut him off. "Caius, if you don't support my decision then do so but keep it to yourself. (Y/N) will be one of us and I refuse to lose another person I loved to the Romanians, to anyone." The group knew immediately she was talking about Didyme. Athenodora had struggled greatly when Didyme died. She had lost a sister and it nearly broke her. When the twins introduced you to her, she loved you immediately. Something about you drew you in and made her feel protective of you. Whenever Caius gave you a hard time, as he did everyone, Athenodora would shut him down on it immediately. She was the only person who could. However Caius, knew you were different to Athenodora, you weren't her sister. Athenodora couldn't help but look at you as though you were her child. Filling the motherly role you had since lost when being brought into the vampire world by Alec. It came so naturally that it even rubbed off on Caius ever so slightly. He was harder on you not just because you were human but because he cared. Almost taking the fatherly role but refusing it with every fibre of his being. Yet no matter how much he tried, his intentions were always in your best interest. No matter how hard on you he was. 

Caius sighed, moving to his wife's side on the floor before looking to Jane. "If it's too much, you stop. We'll take over." Jane nodded, looking at you one last time before leaning towards your shoulder. Jane managed two bites, cursing herself for her poor self control. Whilst Aro reminded her that it takes more self control to change someone in such a condition, if anything it showed how much self control she could find within herself. As Aro reassured Jane, Caius and Athenodora nodded to one another before she bit down.  Athenodora hadn't changed anyone before despite being one of the oldest vampires in existence. She reeled back trying to focus on you rather than your blood in her mouth, mixed with venom. Caius gripped her hand, silently questioning her. She squeezed his hand. She just needed to do it one more time. He nodded to her, silently promising he would help her. They managed to match the number of Demetri's bites, four turning to eight on various places of your body. It was rare to have more than one vampires venom. Although it meant that if anyone had attachments to the Volturi, it was you. You had Athenodora's vemon, attaching you to her, as well as Caius by extension. Demetri's venom and Jane's venom. Whilst it wasn't Alec's venom, Jane was his biological twin. It was the next best thing. You were their responsibility. 

Usually someone would be thrashing in agony. They couldn't help but wonder why you were still but your heart pounding almost out of your chest, stronger than ever. Aro and Marcus came to the realisation before anyone else.  Almost all of your bones were broken, you wouldn't have been able to move. Alec turned to be met with Demetri and Felix. Their eyes turning black by the second but nothing close to Alec's completely pitch black ones. "Need a hand?" Felix smirked, eager for the hunt and fight almost immediately. "As we speak, Afton and Santiago are making their way towards us. Renata, Corin and Chelsea are with the masters. (Y/N) is in good hands." Before Alec could respond Afton and Santiago had arrived. "They're going to suffer." Alec said through a clenched jaw. "Damn right." Felix grinned and Alec appreciated how quickly Felix had agreed. Alec turned to Demetri. "You know where they are?" It was Demetri's turn to smile as he nodded. "Then let's go get them." Afton spoke up. "Make them hurt." "You're not usually the type to encourage violence." Felix smirked at Afton. Afton looked at Felix. "Vladimir took Chelsea's head off before me. He's given me just as much of a reason as he has Alec. As far as I see it, doing that to (Y/N) was more than enough for brutality. I'm more than happy to assist for my Chelsea." Felix clapped Afton on the shoulder. "Good man. We'll show 'em not to mess with our mates." 

"We need to move their head." Marcus noted softly, looking at you. It was clear your neck was healing judging by the bones beginning to knit together once more, less jutting out and threatening to break the skin. Marcus delicately moved your head that had moved to the side and held it straight. With a pop, the venom swarmed the remaining broken areas. It's success was heard when a broken pained exhale passed through your nose. Marcus carefully let go, allowing your now completely healed neck to rest.  “It's their spinal cord, just under their skull." Marcus answered Athenodora's silent questioning as to what the popping had been. "What about the back of their head?" Sulpicia asked. "They're laying on it and..." She trailed off. Judging by the look on Athenodora's face, she struggled to finish the sentence. That your head was caved in and bloody from the back. "It'll be fine, my dear." Aro reassured his mate. "The venom will fix it. It may just take a little longer." "I want to make them hurt." Jane ground out, gaining the attention of the rest of the group. She glared at the wall, jaw clenched tightly. "You must stay with us, dear one." Aro responded. "Your brother has this handled. You know him. Those two will have hell to pay." Marcus added. "The look in (Y/N)'s eyes as they fell. They were terrified. They looked at me and I couldn't do anything to stop it." Jane continued somewhat weakly. Athenodora rose from her chair to Jane's side and pulled her in. Athenodora kissed the side of Jane's head delicately. "You did everything we could have ever expected you to. (Y/N) knows that. There was nothing you could have done. Don't torment yourself so." Jane stared at you from her own seat as Athenodora cradled Jane as best she could standing up.  "After all these years, the Romanians still don't understand one simple thing." Caius said. "What's that?" Jane asked. "That they might win some battles but the Volturi always win the war." Caius said with ease. 

Stefan was fast but Afton was faster. Afton had him by the neck, turning visible once more. "You've made quite a mistake coming here." Santiago said from behind Stefan. "Ready to pay the price?" Felix asked, grinning widely. "You did it to yourselves." Stefan responded before swiping at Afton. "What was it Vladimir said up at the tower again?" Felix asked. "Anyone recall?" "I believe the words were 'you seem to be a lovely person but the company you keep- not so much. So you must pay the price.' " Santiago responded. " 'That is the way of the world.' " Demetri added. "So you'll understand what comes next, won't you?" Felix grinned. The group lunged at Stefan. 

Sulpicia was the first to make comment on the brutality they could hear. Tearing, ripping, snarls, growls and groans as well as many thuds of footsteps and likely bodies hitting the ground. "Such brutality..." She said as though considering the sounds to be impolite. As though higher than what was happening. "Good." Athenodora said darkly. "I hope they do more." 

Stefan was covered in cracks, his limbs jutting out in odd angles, some nearly torn from him completely. Alec kneeled down, his knee going on Stefan's chest who groaned as he felt the cracks along his chest get pushed in further, threatening to tear more. "I'm going to make you both hurt. Just as (Y/N) did. I will break every bone and just when you think I'm done. You'll realise it's only the beginning." 

After staring at you for some time, Athenodora rose from her seat once more. Immediately going to Jane's bathroom with a random bowl shaped decoration, she turned on the tap, filling it with warm water. "What are you doing, my love?" Caius called out to her. She re-emerged with the bowl and a towel. "Getting some of the blood out of their hair. When they wake up, the last thing we need is to either scare them or having them try feed from their own blood." Athenodora said firmly. "Jane, might I use your comb?" Jane nodded immediately grabbing it and moving towards Athenodora. Sulpicia sighed with reluctance. "Very well, I'll get the other side." She went into the bathroom and returned with another towel. "Are you dividing each section and working through?" Sulpicia asked. "Yes." Athenodora said quietly, already focused on the section she had. She was delicate with her tactic. She started at the bottom of your hair and worked her way up to the roots, wetting the comb every so often as red smeared the crisp white towel. Caius couldn't help but be in awe of his wife as always. He was certain no one had even considered taking the blood out of your hair the whole time yet she was the first. "We're going to have to clean them properly when we can move them." Sulpicia said. "One thing at a time." Athenodora said quietly, swallowing hard. "Right now we just need to get the blood out." 

Alec gripped Stefan's head by his hair bringing it to eye-level. "I'm not done with you yet, you're coming with us." Afton looked at the scattered limbs across the room that were covered in cracks, including Stefan's face. "What do you want to do with these?" He asked. Alec cast a glance to the limbs too. "Leave them. They aren't going anywhere." The guards moved down the hall once more Alec having Stefan's head on proud display. "We're close." Demetri said quietly. Alec gripped Stefan's head tightly. He felt the rage build up in him and everyone knew exactly what was coming next. 

The guards were in an intense stare down with Vladimir. "You understand now, don't you? The pain you caused." "I took people from you." Alec said stoically. "I understand that." Alec lifted the head to Vladimir's line of sight. "I took another from you." Vladimir hissed, angered by the sight. "Or at least I will." Alec said before he tossed the head towards Vladimir. His eyes narrowed on Vladimir, his jaw tight. "You took my human from me." Alec began. "Maybe they'll survive this and be fine after this night but no matter how this ends- I'll never see my little human again." Alec's jaw twisted. "You hurt my mate and I will rip you limb from limb and make you suffer for it. You think I was bad back then? Well, you're about to face your worst nightmare. That was nothing! Nothing compared to what I will do now!" Alec began to hysterically scream, the other guards just barely catching up to him when he lunged at Vladimir. 

Demetri was the first to enter Jane’s room. "It's over." He said, confirming everyone's speculations. Everything had gone quiet after a long time of hearing Alec's constant screams. When it finally stopped, they couldn't help but think the Romanians were no more. The others followed through. Alec's eyes were pitch black and immediately moved to you on the bed. "For a second I thought Alec was going to put the Romanians back together with the other's limbs as well as a mix of their own. Neither of them went peacefully." Felix said. "They burn as we speak." Demetri said. Afton was next to move heading towards Chelsea, his hands cradling her face and inspecting her. 

Even after the rest left, Jane, Alec, Demetri and Felix remained with you. "What if they aren't...what if they won't...?" Alec trailed off unable to say the words. "Who knows if they hear us but...we have to think they'll survive. They will. They have to." Jane responded. After a moment of silence, Jane looked to her brother. "Talk to them. It'll help the two of you."  "Despite my appearance, I'm old (Y/N). So very old. You asked me how old I was when I was changed and I couldn't answer you. That's always been the one question my sister and I could never answer. We had forgotten any kind of clue to help us figure it out. Although it doesn't matter. I've been on this earth so very long. So if you could please just, save me a broken heart and survive this." Alec pressed your cold hand into his cheek tightly but still reminding himself to be gentle. "You're young. You- you need to survive this. I have seen some wicked things, oh, but sweet-face the beautiful things I have seen over so many years. I want to you to see it. Even more so I want you more selfishly for myself. I can't imagine continuing this existence without you. You have given me the most wonderful time I have ever had. I want more." Alec let out a short pained laugh. "I know you said you weren't fond of becoming a vampire but there are less extreme ways to go about it." Alec pressed a kiss to your hand, squeezing his eyes shut. "I know you're not that opposed though." He said quietly. "You promised me remember? You promised me I could keep you."  “They’ll make it, Alec.” Demetri assured him. “This is (Y/N). They’re one of the strongest humans we know.” Alec’s eyes drifted to Demetri. “They died already. I felt it, the pain of losing them and I can’t help but think it’s only the beginning.”  “It isn’t, we got them back.”  “Now they’re fighting for their life once again.” Felix cracked a smile. "That's love for you." He said simply, catching Alec, Demetri and Jane’s attention. “What?” Alec said in confusion.  "Funny thing I've noticed about humans, if they love you, they'll always come back to you." Felix smiled before meeting Alec’s eyes. “Believe me, (Y/N) will pull through.” Felix raised his index finger. “You can hear it.” They could. They could hear your heart pounding fast as the venom coursed through your body. “You’re right, (Y/N) died after that fall. However, we got them back and right now i am willing to bet that human is fighting with everything they have to wake up and come back to us.” 

The twins lowered you into the tub, in a sitting position but your back propped against the end of the bath. Allowing clear access for Alec to see the back of your head. He immediately faltered. "I can do this alone if you like?" Jane offered. Seeing her brothers black eyes with his face contorted as though pained by the sight and he was. Seeing your now healed head and remembering how it was previously as well as the large amount of blood dried into the back of your head was painful. Alec shook his head. "No, I'll help. It's healed. It's only the aftermath." Alec responded, mostly reminding himself. He grabbed the shampoo, pouring a large amount into his hand. Carefully, he rubbed it into your head. He'd never done this before but he couldn't consider this a positive first time given your condition. The white liquid began to foam and then redden by the second. Alec continued to work his fingers through your hair and scalp. As Alec dealt with your head, Jane got a damp cloth running it over the bite marks on your neck. She paused hearing her brother swallow down a moan of pain. She looked towards him. "There's still some glass...in their head." He managed out weakly. Jane said nothing at first, the venom should have pushed the glass out as it passed through healing any breaks in the skin. Although those remaining must have been dug in deep. "I don't want to hurt them." Alec said. "Brother, they're already in pain." Jane said weakly seeing how this tortured her brother. "The wounds will close immediately after." She reassured him as she stood up, digging for tweezers. She had never used them, never had the need for them yet she was glad she had them in that moment. Neither twin fond of the thought of digging into your head with their fingers. "Let me." She said quietly as Alec moved to give his sister some room. Her movements were delicate and quick four tiny pieces of glass removed quickly and effectively. However the two stared at the small pieces before looking at one another. Alec inspected your scalp, brushing the hair around. Where the glass had been imbedded. "No blood." He confirmed, his eyes widened slightly. That was a very good sign. Jane nodded with a small smile. "They're already closing up." Jane moved back to the side of the tub and Alec once more focused on your head. "I'll need to take their clothes off." Jane sighed. "We got anywhere we could reach at the time." Alec nodded. "I'll lift their head. Whilst you remove their shirt." If it had been anyone else, a comment would have been made about Alec seeing you topless. However, the twins could be significantly more mature about that than Felix. The one that was most likely to make such a comment. Thankfully, Felix had kept his distance...mostly thanks to Demetri who had him preoccupied. 

"They've begun to lose their colour." Jane said. "I thought so too, sister." Alec replied. The blood washed away from the bites with ease, leaving small prick-like dark holes that would be closing and change colour soon enough. 

Alec carried you back to the bed as Jane fixed the pillows. Gently, Alec lay you down. "There, that's better." Alec said, relieved that no longer had you been covered in dried blood. A gruesome reminder of what had happened to you. "We should go and feed now." Jane said, taking her brothers hand before he could consider refusing. 

A day passed. Alec's eyes widened as your head moved slightly. Your breathing had started to slow, your body forgetting the constant need to breathe. The movement wasn't rigid and forced out of you like movements and moans had been out of the agony. This movement looked more willing and peaceful. A soft exhale passing through your nose. 

When you woke up, it was Demetri and Felix's job to get you fed before Alec could even see you. He understood of course but Alec couldn't help the need to see you again. His gaze snapped towards any footsteps that neared throughout the eight hours you had been awake. Alec felt hopeful when Demetri returned. "Ah, you have returned, dear one." Aro smiled. "I trust (Y/N)'s first feeding was a success?" Demetri nodded. "They aren't driven constantly by the next meal but their control is as much as can be expected." His eyes moved to meet Alec's. "Someone really wants to see you." He smiled slightly, aware of Alec's emotions. "Bring them in." Aro said warmly. "Reunions can be such happy times." Demetri nodded at the permission. 

Felix entered, with you beside him. His eye was on you constantly, as everyone knew was necessary. However you didn't seem remotely bothered. Actually, it was as if you didn't know he was there. Your eyes immediately locking on Alec's. Alec broke formation immediately walking up to you. You looked at him in adoration, with new eyes, now bright red, seeing every little detail of him and seemingly, falling in love all over again. It was strange not hearing a heartbeat, or feeling warmth radiate off of you as Alec had grown accustomed to. He didn't want to startle you in any way, remembering you were still a newborn. You smiled at him brightly. When you reached out for him, he couldn't take it anymore. Against better judgement he quickly pulled you into him, his forehead against yours. His hands cradled your head as you continued to smile at him. Your own hands reaching up to cover his. He couldn't talk, emotions overwhelming him into silence whilst you seemed too focused on him to actually say anything. A few of the Volturi in the room couldn't help but smile at the scene. They knew how much Alec struggled and to see have you back with them, smiling when they thought you wouldn't make it was very much the happy ending Aro had always been so fond of.

[littlefreya]

Poison Honey

Summary: Everyone around you is too busy getting drunk and making out, while you are just dying for this dreadful Christmas party to be over. But just as you plan to leave, you catch the eye of a very hungry August Walker.

Pairing: August Walker x Reader (2nd pov)

Word count: 1K

Warnings: Passion, romance, sexual innuendo, a “thrill of the chase” if this may trigger anyone and mild alcohol use.  

A/N: Okay this Christmas drabble came to me in a dream a month ago, and I had to write it down but waited for today to post it. Many thanks to the love of my life @agniavateira​ who did my beta so quickly! 

Title: Poison Honey

Festive fairy tea lights were strung across the concrete office walls, resembling little flakes of gold over gloom and sparks floating from a pyre. Their aura lit fervent bodies clung together, shining over the grinding and touching figures as they danced to the upbeat Christmas carols that played in a volume so high you could hardly hear yourself think.

It was nothing more but a smouldering den of sin, an orgy of delights. 

Standing at a distant corner with a glass of spicy-sweet sangria pressed to your lips, you watched the massive hall, unable to take part in the sweaty horde that pranced around the golden calf.

You weren’t happy this time of the year, but then again, you never were satisfied. It’s not that life was mundane; it’s just that it existed with no meaning, and these sort of cheap thrills left you shaken. 

Because even though you wanted to take a chance and be that bad girl, deep inside, you knew you could never be one of them. 

A sigh left your lips. Waiting for the appropriate time to depart without having people talk about your introversion later, you downed your drink while deflecting the numerous attempts of Debbie from accounting to drag you into the fuss. 

It was then that you realised, you were not the only one standing alienated from the crowd. 

Funny, you’ve always assumed that a man like Agent Walker would be the first to go balls-deep in at least two women tonight. But he seemed far more enthralled in spying on everyone else and like he was having a good time watching everyone else fuck up.

His eyes burnt with blue flames that laved over many skulls before it slowly licked upon your sight. And as if you could feel both fire and ice ascending in your tendons, a shiver crawled down your back. Languidly, he traced your form. Stroking his moustache briefly, Agent Walker raised the glass of bourbon perched in his hand and gave a small tilt of recognition as if you understood one another though you’ve never spoken before. 

The last drop of sangria couldn’t quench the sudden dryness that formed in your throat. As your anxiety spiked, you did what you knew best and twirled your feet, pretending you had to go somewhere. 

Anywhere.

What were you so afraid of? Living? 

Squeezing the purse in your palm, you hurried to find the jacket left abandoned on your desk. Drunk and sultry, your co-workers swarmed every corner like zombies in a horror flick, and the sounds of passionate lovemaking reverberated through the corridors. Somewhere, in one of the glass-enclosed offices, two colleagues were indulging in a carnal dance.

Agent Walker was no longer in sight, still it resonated in your mind that he was stalking through every passage. Heat bubbled in your belly and between your reaching thighs, the tepid dew began to gather. Maybe you wanted to be chased... And perhaps you desired August Walker to catch you.  

Trying to brush these pesky thoughts away, you finally grabbed your coat and headed towards the exit. The calming warmth one feels when arriving at a shelter began to sink down your sternum. A few steps more, and you were to be safe.

But hope blew off like a candle in a ghastly wind. 

August’s shoulders were broad enough to block any way out as he stood at the pathway. His excessively muscular arms were crossed together, biceps so large they were bigger than your head. His steel-blue shirt looked as if it was about to pop and expose what you could only imagine as the epitome of virility.

The shuddering gasp that escaped you didn’t go unnoticed; he smirked with triumph before his eyes slowly levitated above your head and focused on the ceiling.

“Lucky me,” he chimed, his voice a low and melodic growl that felt like a claw cinched around your heart. 

Skin riddled with goosebumps you followed his gaze, the chill increasing as your mind already processed what you feared to grasp.

The mistletoe was hanging right over your head. 

August’s beguiling smile cut into his left cheek, darkness poisoning his lips. He made a large step forward, easily closing the remaining distance. Yes, you knew he was handsome, but up close, his beauty was ethereal: eyes like precious gems and a strong chin that made every other man look stale. His pouty lips parted as he looked down at you. A small flinch marred your face as he reached a hand to the small of your back.

“Will I get a kiss? Or will you doom me with bad luck?”

Thunderstorms struck the strings of your heart, and in your ears, you felt the throb. If August hadn’t held you in his arms, you would be on the floor by now as your legs wouldn’t cease their jittering.

Fear, desire, and the menacing anxiety of doing something completely outrageous toyed you like a marionette. Before you even realised it your mouth fell open and August leaned in, bourbon and candy on his breath. His whiskers and plump lips touched you first, brushing over so gently it was barely a kiss. Innocently he caressed your mouth before his tongue slithered into your hot cavern and tasted you with a devouring yearning. 

He crushed you; his hard pecs collided with your breasts, turning muscle and bones into a liquid thing for him to manipulate. As he pillaged your mouth, a guttural groan made its way down your entire body and ended fluttering at your womb. 

It felt empyreal, you wanted more. Melting into his steady form, you began to picture his warm body naked above yours, imagining what’s beneath his crisped shirt and ironed tie. You wondered of the size of his manhood and how these soft, lips would taste the plains of your body when he slowly broke the kiss, ending it with a tender groan that vibrated at your mouth.

Breathless, you stared at him, utterly distraught and hastily turning upset. Shame burnt white-hot, tingling across every living cell in your body. Not saying a word you pushed right past him and hurried toward the elevator. 

“Guess I’ll see you around...?” He asked behind you, with a definite victory in his voice.

Ignoring his remark you quickly disappeared to the elevator, thankful as the silver doors closed in your face and rescued you at the last moment. Your heart still rumbled in your chest as if begging to rip itself out and in your mouth lingered a honey-like flavour. 

Clueless fingers outlined the electric tingle over your lips; it was only a kiss, yet everything felt different after tonight. 

[bigstripeylie]

Ghosts theory- “sucked off” edition

Apologies for the title.

I have a theory about how each of the ghosts in Ghosts has a parallel with another Ghost and how this could be the key to them finally being able to move on, or “be sucked off’ as Mary would say.

Putting it behind a cut as this is extremely long and rambly. Spoilers for pretty much every episode of Ghosts

First of all I was listening to Mat and Jim on the Empire Spoilers podcast and Mat said something really interesting about how he intended “you stays how you dies” to refer to the ghost’s mental and emotional state, as well as physical. So Thomas always being obsessed with seeking love is because he died broken-hearted and Fanny always being so grumpy is because she died angry at her husband. 

I believe, therefore, that if the ghosts were able to overcome each of their emotional blocks that would be the thing that would allow them to move on. Furthermore, each of the ghosts has another ghost that seems perfectly suited to be able to assist them in that.

Let’s go through them:

Thomas- Thomas died believing his love never loved him back and now is forced to spend eternity seeking for love as a ghost. If Thomas was able to find someone who could reciprocate his affections, this would the resolve that issue. In the Series 2 episode “About Last Night” when Alison drunkenly tells Thomas “if you were alive and I was 200 years older, then we might have…” we hear a choir start singing and Thomas is pulled, as if compelled, through the wall, similar to how Fanny is pulled forwards towards the window to jump when she “doesn’t even realise [she’s] doing it.” Thomas desperately craves love and affection from another person, but in life was constantly rejected by the people he loved most. You know who else that sounds like? Kitty.

Kitty- Like Thomas, she is from a wealthy family who sheltered her a lot growing up, but is ultimately good and tries to be honourable. Kitty also craves love and affection as well as companionship and she tries to seek it, first in Eleanor and then in Alison (because Alison reminds her of  Eleanor, like how Alison reminds Thomas of Isabelle). However it comes up again and again that Kitty’s relationship with Alison isn’t as fulfilling to her as she would like it be because her being a ghost prevents her from sharing every activity with Alison, and Alison cannot show her physical affection. Kitty is trying to recreate aspects of her relationship with Eleanor using Alison as a substitute but this isn’t very healthy for her, as it simply traps her in the constant state of seeking affection that will not or cannot be returned fully. We don’t know the exact circumstances of Kitty’s death but after Series 3, if seems likely that her sister was in some way involved. Maybe what is keeping Kitty trapped as a ghost is her need for approval and love that she never got in life? But by seeking it in people who remind her of Eleanor exclusively, she is further trapping herself.

If Kitty and Thomas could find love with each other, they could each fulfil the other’s need for reciprocated affection. They are both equally needy so this quality wouldn’t likely annoy the other. Kitty seems to genuinely enjoy high romance in earnest and in finding an outlet for her love in Thomas, she could finally move on from her sister. Thomas would also find someone to love him and could devote himself completely to someone who would actually return his love, instead of fruitlessly pursuing women who remind of Isabelle’s rejection. This could lead to the resolution of both character’s finally moving on from their deaths.

Next up, let’s look at The Captain-

The Captain’s central conflict is obviously his sexuality. I believe that the resolution to this conflict would be him finally accepting and coming to terms with being gay and feeling comfortable with that part of his  identity. Which ghost could best help him in this?

Fanny. 

Maybe not the answer you were thinking, but hear me out. The Captain already has a strong positive relationship with Fanny built on mutual respect. He is more likely to value her opinion as an equal that any of the other ghosts and he seems to align himself with her on most issues. Which makes his choice to go against Fanny and defend the same-sex wedding and its guests to her in “Perfect Day” really remarkable.

In “Perfect Day”, Fanny expresses some pretty disapproving remarks about the wedding guest’s attire and some homophobic opinions about the same-sex wedding in general, which prompts the Captain to defend one of the guests to Fanny. “It’s chic, it’s now, and if it makes her feel fabulous…”

Imagine a scene where The Captain has to defend himself towards Fanny in a similar manner after coming out, showing that he is finally accepting of his sexuality as being the right thing for him. 

Anyway, that was a slight digression…

Fanny is still struggling to deal with the circumstances of her own death which was brought about in part because she caught her husband having an affair with other men. Fanny needs to accept and come to terms with the fact that her husband didn’t love her and that while he was obviously wrong for murdering her, she needs to move on so she can stop reenacting it by jumping out the window every morning. Because she died feeling angry and betrayed, she is trapped in that state in death. Discovering that one of her closest friends is gay and realising that it is possible for someone to be both gay and a good person might prompt her to think differently about her own life, as she started do with Humphrey in Perfect Day. 

The Captain, in turn, could be driven by Fanny’s ability to accept his sexuality into thinking ‘if she can accept that part of me, then maybe I can too.’ Personally, out of all the ghosts, I think it could only be Fanny who could prompt him to think that because it would mean the most to him coming from her.

Humphrey- Humphrey died because he was trying to protect Sophie, who rejected any attempt to get to know him and who he believed didn’t even like him. In death he is trapped in a state of being a selfless self-sacrificing people-pleaser and desperately wanting to be included in the other ghost’s activities, even allowing himself be kicked and thrown around if it means he can just be involved. In ‘I Love Lucy’ he even attempts to make a relationship with Fanny work, showing he is willing to sacrifice his own happiness for the sake of others.

Julian, by contrast, is the most selfish of all the ghosts at Button House. Deep down he feels guilty that his selfishness negatively affected the relationship with his daughter but seems not to be consciously aware that he feels like this. Julian’s selfishness to not spend time with his family ultimately leads to his death in Button House, as he neglected his family to spend more time at work and was clearly cheating on his wife, showing he is driven by selfish impulses.

If Julian were to perform a completely selfless act to the benefit of Humphrey, then Humphrey would get to feel as though someone was putting him first for once and valuing him the way he seeks to be valued. Julian would also break the pattern of selfish behaviour that caused his downfall.

The rest are little less well-defined:

Pat is the probably the ghost that we know the most about, through seeing his death and actually meeting his family in “Happy Death Day”, to the numerous anecdotes he reveals about his life throughout the show. However, I can’t decide for sure what is the thing that is keeping him a ghost. Pat himself seemed to think it was that he was missing his family, but this was ultimately proved wrong after he saw them again in ‘Happy Death Day’. Even meeting the boy who killed him and forgiving him in ‘Perfect Day’ didn’t cause him to move on. It could be something to do with Carol’s affair with Maurice but I just don’t know for sure. I like the idea of him fitting in with the plague ghosts. I think his personalty and leadership style would get along better with them than say, The Captain, who is too authoritarian. I also think Pat is someone who thrives in a group setting.

Robin and Mary are also tricky to work out what the thing keeping them as ghosts is because we know so little about their lives and deaths compared to the other characters. I think these are the only two ghosts who have not yet received a flashback to their lives. We know that Mary was in some way involved a witch-trail and this has traumatised her. Robin also has experienced a lot of trauma in his life but he seems to be more philosophical about it and accepting of it. He shows great empathy towards others both in trying to comfort Pat about his death in “Happy Death Day’ and Kitty in “About Last Night’, he could use his experience of trauma to help Mary deal with hers. They both seem to be looked down upon and ‘othered’ by the other ghosts due to their perceived lack of intelligence even though they are both very emotionally and socially intelligent.

If anyone has any thoughts about these last two pairings or any of the others, then please reblog and add your take!

I am not in any way saying that I think this is what will happen in the next series or what even I think should happen, but that this is one possibilities for much further down the road when the ghost are all ready to move on.

Also I have spent way too much time thinking about this…

[anabsolutetrainwreck]

she plays songs i’ve never heard || h. styles

warnings: references to sex, swearing, mentions of alcohol, harry gets a lil pervy (pls don’t watch your neighbours get dressed), kissing, not proofread properly

word count: 1.8k

summary: when you get a new neighbour and his dog breaks into your garden, it sets off a chain reaction of events that might change your life...

The day he moved into the house next door seemed like a normal day for you. Sure, the sound of him actually moving in had woken you up early. The furniture being moved in through the small front door and the busy workers he’d hired banging about as if it wasn’t 8 in the morning. Begrudgingly, you had pulled yourself out of bed, poured yourself a glass of orange juice and buttered some crisp toast. Toast in hand, you watched from your kitchen window as grumpy Mr Bennet from across the road came out to shout at the new man and the workers. You’d managed to make out something about ‘too early on a weekend to be making that kind of noise’. Rolling your eyes, you went back upstairs to get dressed. 

And that was that. You’d ordered a pizza for lunch and your mother had rung you during the afternoon to catch up. You told her about your new neighbour. And that was that. 

It was, in fact, the day that the tattooed man’s dog broke into your back garden that your life seemed to change. You had been sat in your living room, watching The Sound of Music - a personal favourite of yours. Just as you were preparing to invest three hours of your life into the lives of the von Trapps, there was a loud bang on your door. Huffing quietly to yourself, you climbed off the sofa and left to open the door. And there, on the other side, was the tattooed neighbour. However, his tattoos were covered by a black hoodie but you could see a couple poking out beneath the hoodie’s cuffs. He was wearing shorts, exposing you to the tiny doodles of ink along his legs. His brown curls were hidden beneath a baseball cap. His features were hidden almost entirely in the shadows as it was dark outside and his cap sheltered him from whatever light there was. “Hi?” you said awkwardly. 

“I’m so sorry, but my dog got into your backyard. Do you think you can go and get him for me?” he asked.

You were almost taken aback. Though not entirely sure what you’d expected when being confronted with your tattooed neighbour outside your house, you definitely didn’t expect him to be searching for his dog. You didn’t even know he had a dog. 

You nodded slowly, “Sure. Come in, if you want.”

He thanked you, stepping in before you closed the door behind him. He shuffled awkwardly into the hallway, knocking your coat off the rack. It landed in a heap on the floor. “Shit, sorry,” he said quickly, bending down to pick it up. “Fuck! Sorry for swearing!”

“It’s okay, we’re both adults,” you smiled softly. You moved forward through the house, unlocking the back door. And there, chasing a wasp around the garden, was a small black dog. He wiggled in your arms as you picked him up carefully. You carried him into your house and back to Harry, who you found in the living room. 

The dog licked your face before you place him in his owner’s arms. “Thanks. Sorry for the inconvenience - I know it’s late. I’m Harry by the way.”

He extended his hand for you to shake. “Y/N,” you replied, smiling up at him. 

His grip on your hand was strong and firm. While you’d been away finding his little treasure, Gabriel (named after Peter Gabriel), he’d had a chance to explore your living room. The first time Harry saw you was when he happened to catch a glance of you reading in your back garden in your green shorts and sweater. It had been a hot day and you had a pair of sunglasses pushed up over your head. You looked ethereal with the sun highlighting your skin. From then, he’d tried to time his dog walks perfectly so he’d ‘accidentally’ bump into you on the way out. But, his attempts had come with little success. It was rather fortunate that Gabriel had escaped into your garden. 

He’d actually jumped at the opportunity to come round and meet you in person. After all, he only knew your name because his other neighbour, Edna, had told him a bit about you after he asked. And when you’d invited him in, he was ecstatic. He couldn’t help but wander into your living room. He noticed The Sound of Music paused on your tv, wondering if he’d get to watch it with you one day. Maybe you’d exchange favourites -  he’d watch The Sound of Music and you’d watch The Notebook. He then noticed a stack of books on the coffee table, with everything from Cervantes’ Don Quixote to Murakami’s Norwegian Wood. Your current read, Sally Rooney’s Normal People, was being held open by the tv remote. He wanted to ask what you thought of Norwegian Wood, after all, it was one of his favourites. But he refrained. 

There was a glass of wine on a coaster, a half-eaten bowl of cheese pasta beside it. The room was littered with lovely plants -  some were hanging down from shelves and others were standing up high beside the sofa. The walls were a soft grey, but they were drowned out by the green of the plants and the subtle pink tones littered throughout the room. “What’s this little guy’s name?” you asked, tickling behind the dog’s ear. 

“His name’s Gabriel.”

“As in Peter?” you asked.

“Yep. You a fan?”

“Who isn’t?” you grinned in response. He knew you were a fan of Peter Gabriel. He’d seen your rack of records in the corner and he’d been gardening a few weeks ago and heard you listening to one of his albums in your own backyard. Upon examining your record collection, he’d noticed some Beatles albums, a bit of Lionel Richie, some Taylor Swift, a few ABBA albums, a sprinkle of Bee Gees and a plethora of Elton John albums. Relatively mainstream, but a mixture nonetheless. 

“Exactly,” he agreed, before gesturing to the wine. “Special night?”

“Huh?” you’d replied.

“The wine?” he responded. 

“Oh,” you laughed, “that’s cranberry juice.”

He flushed bright red as you laughed quietly. You placed a comforting hand on his arm, guiding him out of the room. “I think you’re a bit tired. I guess I’ll see you around then?” you offered a hopeful smile. 

“Yeah,” he nodded, holding Gabriel at arm’s length as the dog tried licking his cheek. “I’d like that.”

“Great,” you smiled, closing the door. “What an odd man.”

You couldn’t help grin to yourself. He was strange, yes, but very kind. You resumed your position on your sofa, taking a sip of cranberry juice, and pressing play on The Sound of Music. What a bizarre evening… 

Come a few days later, Harry found himself busying himself in his bedroom. Gabriel was sat on his bed, barking at Harry as he worked away at his computer, sending emails back and forth to his boss. It was only when he saw your own bedroom light flick on in the corner of his eye. You wandered in, throwing your phone down onto your bed. A white towel was wrapped tightly around your body and your hair was wet and your skin glistening. 

He knew he shouldn’t look. He knew he shouldn’t stare. But he couldn’t help it. He watched as you pulled a silky pyjama set from your dresser. You seemed to examine it briefly before deciding it was good enough. And when you dropped the towel, he knew he was wrong for staring. He knew you’d never speak to him again if you caught his gaze on your naked body. But he couldn’t tear his eyes away. 

You sighed as you stepped into your silk shorts and slipped on the matching shirt. As you finished doing up the buttons, you happened to glance up and catch Harry’s gaze. He’d been staring. Once he realised you’d caught him, he went bright red; redder than when he’d mistaken cranberry juice for wine. You smirked, challenging him to look away. 

When he didn’t avert his gaze, you leaned over to grab your notebook from your desk. Embracing your 2009 Taylor Swift moment, you scribbled down: wanna come over? You laughed as you watched him scramble away from the window and out of his room. 

It was thirty seconds later that you heard his knocking on your door. You dashed down to open it. There he was. Grabbing his hand, you pulled him into your house and up the stairs. And there you were, standing in your bedroom with your tattooed neighbour. “That was super pervy, you know?” you whispered, your faces inches apart. 

“But you’re so beautiful,” he choked out, revelling in the feeling of your hands dancing up his arms. 

“What if I told you I did it on purpose?”

“What?”

“Yeah, what if I left the light on so you could see me? What if I wanted you to stare?”

He couldn’t resist you any longer. He pressed his mouth to your own, pushing your wet hair out of your face. He slipped his attractively large hands under your thighs, lifting you into his arms, only to drop you down onto your bed. You squealed as you hit the soft mattress, laughing as he buried his face in your neck, his fingers fiddling to undo your buttons. And that was that. 

Before you knew it, you were lying beside his naked figure, panting loudly. Both of your bodies were covered in a thin layer of sweat. “That was amazing,” he whispered, rolling over to face you. “You’re amazing.”

You smiled, kissing his nose, “Thanks. I think you’ll find you’re pretty sensational too. I need another shower now, though… wanna join?”

It was just after 11 when Harry left. The night had spiralled in the most perfect way. You switched off your bedroom light, slipping under your soft bedsheets. You were excited for the day to come - you’d asked him if he wanted to come over for a date. He agreed ecstatically. 

The following morning, you woke up as you usually did. You were groggy, unexcited for the uneventful day to come. That was until you remembered your date that night with your tattooed neighbour. Up until 7, you had nothing to do but wait. You watched some episodes of a drama your mother had been raving about. You made yourself a sandwich for lunch. But finally, 6.30 rolled around and you peeled yourself off the sofa to get ready. At 7.02, Harry arrived. He knocked on your door and when you answered, his smile was bright and his eyes were alive with excitement. “Hello,” you grinned until you noticed something behind his back. “What’s that you’ve got there?”

He held out a bouquet of roses, “I got you some flowers… and I brought round a bottle of cranberry juice.”