#a hypothetical. it cannot and should not hold up to reality

[ultimateinferno]

You know what? No one's allowed to argue the ethics of killing villains in fiction and using it as justification for real life morality until they learn to stop using Batman & the Joker as the go to example for their position.

[dreamgrlarchive]

Dear dream girl, I really want to be my dream girl but I don’t know where to start. I feel unmotivated most of the time and I only get a burst of motivation at like 3 am. I just what to glow and radiate good energy for myself and find/do what I like

Oh, So You Wanna Be a Dream Girl? 🎀

starting your dream girl journey

Congrats on choosing yourself and your tiara; I am so proud. Prepare to not be liked, to be judged, and to stand out. It’s lonely at the top.

*this guide is for starting the process, not reaching the end result because my version of my own dream girl is inevitably different than yours. bare in mind i’m not holding your hand. i’m nudging you in a good direction.

what is a dream girl?

a dream girl is a girl that has finally fallen in love with who she sees in the mirror. she’s the girl that she can depend on. she has her desired look and she’s on the path to self actualization actively. she’s aware of her branding. she holds herself to the standards she holds other to; and they are HIGH. her self worth isn’t contingent upon a love interest, amount of money, or social status. she’s simply that girl.

do some healing.

yes, i said it. healing. like i’ve said before, you cannot put glitter on literal garbage. that’s not even the slightest bit appealing. you’re gonna journal about your childhood, your biggest influences in life, your biggest fears and how you feel life has treated you. this calls for shadow work. shadow working really helped me figure out some of my toxic traits and how some of the things that were considered normal to me as a child have affected me in the long run. you’re also gonna write hypothetical letters to your loved (and not-so-loved) ones, including yourself. let it all out. say everything you want that person to know. around you or not, dead or alive. prepare to clam up, cry, get angry, feel anxious. good. you should. you feel clammy, hot and sometimes pain when your body is fighting off and healing from a physical sickness. now you’re dealing with the developmental, mental, and emotional parts. you’re doing yourself a disservice choosing to stay the same toxic, nasty, mean, or victimized person you’ve always been.

what do you want?

before you can start to even do the smallest improvements, you have to have a clear goal. or else you’ll just be running around in circles (heh) over grandiose blurry wishful thinking. ultimately resulting in you giving up and choosing to be basic bc it’s easier. what do you want out of life? how do you want to be treated? what do you want to do? what makes you happy? and most importantly, how do you want to feel? see, it’s more than just the frills and glitter. you have to know what you’re trying to get to, internally and externally.

grab a diary, adorn it with pretty little details and commit to it. pair it with your fav writing utensil. outline all of your goals. every single last one of them. you can categorize them, scale them from short to long term, easy to hard. it doesn’t matter. do absolutely what you want to do to make a concrete record of your goals that’s digestible for you.

what are you going to do?

*fabulosity by kimora lee simmons*

compare your dream reality to the one you’re currently experiencing. what is she doing that you aren’t? that’s it. do that. anyone can read blogs about the process and other people success stories but those posts aren’t gonna change your life unless you get up and go for what you want. i don’t know what exactly you desire out of life. you do. so you have the instructions for this journey. the first part was easy, this is simple but not nearly as effortless. it’s up to you and not anyone else. you teach others how to treat you. improvements you can make include better: hygiene, self talk/treatment, outward energy, work ethic, discipline, health, consumed content, relationships, looks, habits.

the work

it’s time to apply yourself. get up everyday and actively work towards your goal. be kind to yourself. take yourself to the doctors. get active. eat right. find your passion. DO THE HEALING.

everyone’s journey is SO different so i’m just going to do a quick rundown of the importance of each of the ten facets of your dream girl journey (that build upon each other. ie; looks do not benefit you when your hygiene is insufficient):

*these facets are loosely based on maslow’s hierarchy of needs

health - are you taking care of yourself? please treat yourself how you would your loved ones. you’ll be surprised how physical issues manifest mentally, and vice versa. get adequate sleep. take baby steps if need be. some of these adjustments may be huge to you. be gracious with your journey.

consumed content - everything you engage in is your diet. the company you keep, food you eat, music you enjoy. you get the idea. do you feel light and ready to take on the day? or do you feel drained and sick more often than not. make some adjustments wherever you see necessary.

hygiene - extremely important. stick to a routine for your hygienic needs. you should have rituals you engage in everyday. don’t forget that your health and hygiene go hand in hand. oral and feminine hygiene is so crazily important. please don’t neglect yourself. i talk about my routines in detail here.

habits - daily habits are so crucial to your lifestyle. adjust these and consciously break your bad habits by supplementing your life with equal and opposite habits.

self talk/treatment - simple. be kind to yourself. hold yourself accountable for flaws and mistakes while loving yourself enough to be patient with the journey of improving.

outward energy - be very aware of the vibes you’re permeating. again this is so a huge determination of how you will be treated and how you will live your life.

work ethic/discipline - it’s gonna take serious accountability to escape the desire to stay comfortable. you have to tell yourself that you deserve *your desired end result* so you will *make specific change/adjustment.* it’s that simple (again simple doesn’t mean easy).

relationships - if you don’t like the way you’re treated by those in your life, those relationships need to be reevaluated. you can make some trims on your circle, have some honest conversations, or adjust your behaviors (because sometimes, YOU are the problem).

passion and career - in order to feel fulfilled in life, we all need a purpose. discover yours. incorporate your passion into your daily life.

looks - develop your signature and hone in on it. looks are very important to your perception (self and public). check out this guide to help with this part. however you wanna feel is how you should display yourself.

be a dream girl!

you’ve discovered all the facets of creating your dream self and reality. now it’s time to apply what you’ve learned. start showing up in life in the fashion you want to be seen in.

that’s it! the rest is up to you!

- xoxo, dreamgrlarchive 🎀

[tawakkull]

ISLAM 101: Spirituality in Islam: Part 185

A distance of two bows’ length

This metaphoric Qur’anic expression concerns God’s Messenger’ unparalleled nearness to God during his Ascension. From the viewpoint of Sufism, it denotes rising beyond the horizons of Divine acts and Names and reaching the peak of Attributes or even going beyond it. Reaching the peak of Attributes is called Nearness relating to the Attributes, and going beyond it is Nearness related to the (Divine) Being Himself. However, we should point out that this nearness is our nearness to the Being Who is nearer to everything than itself, and is self-annihilation in the lights of His Existence through freedom from duality in the state of spiritual pleasures. Travelers who experience this cannot see, know or feel anything other than Him, see what they see as His making them see, feel what they feel as His making them feel, hold what they hold by His making them hold, and obtain what they obtain by His making them obtain. With all the atoms of their bodies, they become eloquent voices speaking of Him.

This nearness is the fruit of ascension toward God. In the universal level it was represented by him whose existence is the ultimate cause for the creation of the universe, upon him be peace and blessings. Those performing spiritual travel under his guidance can have a share in it, each according to his or her rank. A traveler, the elements of whose bodily existence come from stone, dust, clay, air and water, enters the way of being perfected through belief, righteous deeds, sincerity and pursuing God’s good pleasure. Freed from imprisonment in the dungeon of corporeality and traveling on the horizons of life in heart and spirit, the traveler is saved from the loneliness and solitude that originate from being distant from God, and reaches the point of friendship with God. In other words, as the traveler was originated by God in the beginning, so finally he or she returns to Him. One’s being originated or sent to the world is a descent and called the arch of descent, and one’s returning to God through Him and acquiring nearness to Him is ascension and called the arch of ascension. Since the picture formed of these two (curved) arches resembles two archery bows facing one another (separated only by the thickness of two adjacent lines), this has been described as the distance of two bows. Rather than distance, it denotes that the Messenger reached as far as the line or boundary of the realm of mortality and contingency, which adjoins the (Divine) realm of eternity and absolute necessity.

The expression “or nearer” signifies that the two (hypothetical) lines or boundaries, one belonging to the realm of mortality and contingency and the other to the (hypothetical) Divine realm of eternity and absolute necessity, have joined each other and become as if one boundary. It therefore refers to the furthest point of nearness to God as far as that which a created being can reach in journeying toward God. This nearness belongs only to God’s Messenger, upon him be peace and blessings.

As mentioned before, every human being is caught up in two movements, one of descent and the other of ascension. The Sufis call the former the arch of descent, and the latter the arch of ascension. Although some Muslim philosophers have viewed this as a cycle based on the theories of Divine emanation and appearance, which are likely to open a door to heretical doctrines such as monism, incarnation and union, in reality this cycle is the education, purification and development of the spirit, making it into a polished mirror to God by means of belief, righteous deeds, sincerity, purity of intention and struggle against the carnal self. This is another on the way to becoming a perfect human being. It is a way that everyone can follow. That is something that Nadiri expresses most memorably:

What does it mean that we have taken up our residence at the highest point of rising, or at a point nearer (to Him)? We have made the way leading to the station of two bows’ distance a straight and easy path, like an arrow, by treading it time and again.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Carla Maniac [10]

ー The scene starts in the saloon at Banmaden

Carla: ーー While I did succeed at getting the Ghouls on my side, they are somewhat inferior as warriors, huh? 

In which case, we could always compensate for that with our strategy and tactics but...

Things could end up rather tricky if the Vibora decide to make the first move before that.

I cannot afford to lose any military power ーー ...Coff!

Ugh... ーー Che.

...I felt rather well while we were staying at Rotigenberg.

But from the second we returned here, it’s back to this. Hmph. Seems like this Castle loves to deny me in every way possible...

...Banmaden. Can you hear me!? Are you punishing me because I killed your King...!?

ー Somebody enters the room

Carla: ...!

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: ...I’m back.

Carla: ...Good work. 

Yui: ( ...? Something seems a little off about him...? )

Is something the matter?

Carla: ーー No. Nothing.

Yui: ( ...Really...? )

Carla: More importantly, how did it go with the Ghouls?

Yui: ...I tried to explain the situation to them, but I’m not sure if the misunderstanding has been solved...

I’m having Kino-kun help me out with that though...

...I’m sorry, Carla-san. I really am such an incompetent loser. 

If only I had the ability to persuade others as well. But compared to you, I am nowhere near asーー

Carla: ...

ー He steps closer and embraces her

*Rustle*

Yui: Eh...? Carla-san...

( He’s holding me close...? )

U-Uhm...What has gotten into you all of a sudden?

Carla: ...I got worried about what will become of you once I am gone. 

Yui: ...!

( Once he’s gone...? )

Carla: Heh. I thougth that I was incapable of experiencing concern about something. 

But perhaps I got infected with your paranoia about everything from spending so much time by your side. 

Even if I am no longer with you, thenーー

Yui: No!

Carla: ...

...What’s wrong? Getting upset like that.

Yui: Of course I’m upset! I don’t want to hear you say such a thing...!

Carla: Do not rush to conclusions. I am only hypothetically speaking. 

Yui: ( Hypothetically... )

Selection

→ I feel a little relieved now (❦)

Yui: ...Hypothetically speaking, huh? I feel a little relieved now.

Carla: Of course. In reality, I am here right now.

Yui: Yes...

( It’s true that he’s here embracing me. )

( He’s undeniable here with me right now. I’ll try to focus solely on that. )

→ I don’t want it as a hypothesis either

Yui: Even if you were only hypothetically speaking, I still don’t want it.

Carla: ...You should trust me a little more. 

Yui: Eh? No way ーー I do trust you!

Carla: If you truly do, then stop looking at me with those fearful eyes.

I am here right now. That is the undeniable truth.

Yui: Yes...

( It’s true that I can feel him right next to me. )

( But still, when I think that I might lose that, I cannot help but grow anxious... )

Carla: However, from the moment I made my decision to fight for the Demon World. 

We cannot predict what fate might await any of us. 

That is the reality of war. Remember that, Yui. 

Yui: ...

Monologue

My efforts to solve the Ghouls’ wrong assumptions were in vain,

as the misunderstanding seemed far from being lifted. 

While I was already worried about that,

Carla-san started talking of the possibility of him being gone. 

While he did explain to me that this was but a supposition,

I do not want to hear such a sad thing, even if he was only hypothetically speaking (仮定の話).

Even though he is embracing me, all I can feel is loneliness (さみしさ).

Absolutely anything can happen once we go to war. 

Even though I realize that this only makes sense,

I failed to fully grasp itーー

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[shadowspirez]

The main problem with shipping Jeremy and the Squip is that their relationship is not equal. The Squip is an ai that controls Jeremys life, telling him how to act, what to say, and even making decisions for him. Jeremy has no real choice or say when the Squip is in control, and that makes the relationship unhealthy. In any good relationship, both people should have equal power, where they both respect each other and make their own choices. But with the Squip being in charge, it's all about control and manipulation, which isn't what love or a healthy relationship should look like. The Squip's character itself makes it a bad match for Jeremy. It isn't trying to help Jeremy become a better version of himself; instead, it's trying to change him to fit in and be "cool" by society's standards. That's not what a real partner should do. not force you to change to make you more popular. The Squip preys on Jeremy's insecurities, and shipping them together suggests that it's okay for one person in a relationship to control and manipulate the other, which is dangerous and unhealthy. Jeremy's whole character development is about learning to be himself and finding confidence without needing the Squip or anyone else's approval. By the end of the musical, he realizes that he doesn't need the Squip's control to be happy or liked. Shipping Jeremy with the Squip basically goes against this lesson because it keeps Jeremy tied to something that's holding him back. Instead of being free to grow as a person, he'd be stuck in a toxic situation, which isn't fair to his character or his development. When we ship characters, especially in ways that involve control manipulation, we risk romanticizing very abusive relationships. A healthy relationship should be based on trust, communication, and respect, but Jeremy and the Squip don't have any of that. By shipping them, it sends the wrong message, suggesting that it's okay to stay in a relationship where one person is being controlled, which is harmful, especially for younger fans who might look up to these characters.

talk about a fuckin wall of text, dude, jfc. i am. not sure why da hell you're trying to mansplain what a healthy relationship is to me, or how Jeremy/Squip is toxic, because my brother in squist i already know dis?

the point you miss is that both Jeremy and the Squip are characters, they are not real, they cannot actually harm or be harmed. neither i nor anybody else has to "be fair" to them because again, there's nothing to be fair to, they ain't real. you can like and or ship things/dynamics and also not actually want them in reality, that is part of the point of fiction: exploring interesting things in an environment where it doesn't actually result in harm.

like, my mans, my guy... i am in no way "sending a message" or "suggesting" that people stay in real unhealthy relationships. it is not my job or obligation to only ship the most wholesomest, healthiest of relationships just so that hypothetical "younger fans" don't get the wrong idea or whatever. (truly, nobody should be basing their ideas of an ideal relationship off of fiction, but i digress.)

the only message that i, mr. Shadow "Squip-kisser" Spirez, am sending, is that it's okay to unabashedly be yourself, to like things that others may find strange. do not file yourself down or fearfully hide parts of yourself away for the "comfort" of others, because for some it will never be good enough. because it's not wrong to just be yourself. because no one should have to walk on eggshells just to feel welcome in this damn fandom.

[metacrisisdoctor]

At the end of end of time, when Ten says he will get his "reward"... do you think he meant all companions or just seeing Rose (because she is the last one)? And how would you interpret his outrage when he has to die for Wilf?

this is actually my favorite thing to think about, the specials make me NUTS. i've rambled about this a lot on main but i'm too lazy to link the posts back so i'll be insane about it again.

what i really love about the specials and the doctor's descent into madness is how it mirrors him saying tentoo is "too dangerous to be left on his own" and how that solidifies that they're the same person with different opportunities. we see this particularly in the water of mars, which is his breaking point.

i think part of this madness is simply because he can't take losing anymore. he lost rose, he lost donna, he lost everyone and he just needs a win. and this makes him really scary and dangerous because the doctor is good because he chooses to be, and he needs companions to keep him human. when he's alone he loses sight of himself and becomes power hungry. this feeds into wilf in the end, and we'll get back to it in a bit.

that aside, there is the element that until he regenerates he is living two completely seperate lives. there is this life, and there is the life he is not experiencing; the life he wants. and not having that also is driving him mad. the blue suit, him saying the name mia over and over and not knowing it's his daughters name. the life in pete's world is haunting him. he is dragging it around like a dead body. but he cannot let it go. (in the original script tentoo was going to feel ten regenerate, which i think ties into this too)

the tenth doctor, in the end, is all about becoming comfortable with your trauma and your pain because you want to believe that you can find your way back to how you used to be before (whatever before is for you.) he's about how hope can become a vice, and strangle you.

ten was born out of his love for rose, his love for humanity and therefore he had to become human- at least in one life. and when he doesn't get to, he has to regenerate. there is no other option! but since he is so human he feels like regeneration is death and he knows that when he changes he will get over (to some degree) all he has been through as ten- and he doesn't want that. but it's a double edged sword because the longer he fights off the regeneration the colder and more inhumane he becomes!

i think his outburst with wilf is a combination of both of those things. he wants to keep being this version of himself in futile hopes that things could get better, because he loves this version of himself that is tied to rose and humanity. on the other hand it's out of being power hungry still and/or that he could do more: change things! there is a comic that takes place between je and the specials where he has a device where he could, hypothetically, do anything and he knows he should destroy it but he cannot bring himself to do it because the thought of breaking the walls between reality and giving donna her memories back is too tempting and someone else has to do it.

this is a sore subject that i haven't touched on bc it would get tentoo antis all riled up, but i really think his "well, it's not fair!" moment is about tentoo. it's like he's been holding at outburst in for so long and it ends up getting directed at wilf because wilf is everything he will never get to be again: a father, an old man who has had his time. but that doesn't make wilf any less important or less worth dying for and that reminds him of who he is and brings him back to himself. that moment of, "oh, i've lived too long." is him accepting that he has to change because if he doesn't he is going to go down a very dark path and that's not who he is.

i think his reward is, of course, having that time to say goodbye. but it's definitely specifically mostly about rose. she is not only the last interaction but the one rtd most thought through because it was so important. his reward is simply seeing her, and it's the first and last time, we see him feel like himself. yes, he's dying and he's in so much pain but even then they still flirt and banter. he stays up right for her, despite how much pain he's in. but more than that, his reward is knowing that rose is happy: that their story is one that he would not change, even though it's hurt him so much, because he loves her. he knows she's happy and that's all he wanted. that's his reward.

[oiblackestsheep]

Thoughts on INFP 4 INFP relationship? Cause that’s what’s happening in my life right now 🌟

Hopefully this isn't TOO late of a response. Work was crazy and I crashed last night.

First off, CONGRATS. Hope the relationship is going well!! Ultimately, ANY two types can be in a relationship and have it work out, but all the different type combinations (and individual people, of course lmao) can have their own unique experiences that can be inferred by their types.

INFP & INFP is pretty interesting. Double the day-dreaming, double the moral debates. This kind of pairing has advantages and disadvantages that you would see with a lot of same-type pairings, but they will be specific to the INFP strengths and weaknesses.

The advantages would be that you guys understand each other through and through. You perceive things and make decisions the same way, so there is a massive potential for deep connection and feeling validated and seen by each other when it comes to the choices you make and values you hold.

You can spend endless nights brainstorming new ideas (Ne) about how you would personally like reality to be (Fi) (Just a simple example, all judging functions can apply to any topic, really). Not to mention that if you are similar in age/upbringing, you may even be nostalgic for the same things (tertiary/comfort Si), which can be a lot of fun!

You can also provide very meaningful support to each other in areas in life that you struggle with because you can 100% relate when the other is struggling. Where some types might grow frustrated with your weaknesses, you two have the potential to give each other the grace and patience when it comes handling the strict, objective, cold, hard facts of life that demand you use that inferior Te and set aside that trademark INFP idealism (which I'm sure can be uncomfortable!)

Now, the downsides of this pairing (and many other same type pairings) I think should be pretty obvious to the people in the relationship when they pop up.

The thing is that if you both use Fi to come to your conclusions about something, but you happen to disagree on the actual verdict, then that can cause some tension. It can be hard to accept someone else's explanation as to why they think something when they somehow think the same way as you. There can be very little variation between how you each reach your conclusions, and therefore, not really all that much to talk about other than the fact that you simply just disagree and cannot find a way to be compatible on the matter. This is the benefit of different types being together is that different opinions can often be explained by using different functions (or combinations of the same functions) to reach different conclusions. But the INFP x INFP couple doesn't have that luxury, sadly.

Alternatively, double Ne can make it difficult for the couple to focus. If you are both thinking about different hypothetical possibilities, it is unlikely that either of you will reign each other (or yourselves) in to decide what components of the subject are the most important to consider and choose to act on.

Similarly, tertiary Si can potentially cause both of you ruminate on your pasts (in general, or in your relationship), and increases the likelihood of the two of you isolating at home to spend time living in the past. You might benefit from getting out of the house to shake off this tendency to overthink.

And lastly, inferior Te can be difficult if both of you are uncomfortable making hard and direct decisions based on data. Both of you will be more inclined to search your internal/personal feelings and values to make decisions rather than facing the facts in front of you that might lead to difficult/not ideal choices that are not as comfortable for you, and that can make for a slow and arduous process.

All in all, it really boils down to how healthy you two are and how willing you are to work together to have a safe and constructive relationship and develop yourselves/confront your weaknesses. If both people are healthy, you two can be a super empathetic, imaginative and moralistic power-couple!

Hope this was helpful and/or resonates with you. Let me know if you'd like to add anything else!

[redwineconversation]

who is going to stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames (Lyon - PSG Postgame Thoughts)

31 new Taylor Swift songs means plenty of lyrics to choose from as post titles! This is, after all, a Taylor Swift fan blog first and foremost.

Putting it under a read more because there is a lot to talk about.

For me this game had a definite parallel to the infamous 2018 UWCL final against Wolfsburg (a must watch game if there ever was such a thing).

There will be a lot of talk about mentality following this game, so, yeah, let's. Let's talk about Lyon's defense completely checking out of the game. There are no excuses for the first goal, where Carpenter seemed oblivious to one of PSG's top strikers lurking in the box. It's unacceptable for a defender at this level to have been so level. While I will concede she was off-balance when she tried to clear it, for me that still doesn't give her a pass. I expected better from her. I still do.

PSG's second goal came courtesy of Bacha doing everything in her power to play PSG onside. It was sloppy, careless and amateur at best, but also a reflection of how checked out Bacha has been both offensively and defensively for a majority of the season. Whatever is going with her needs to be sorted out.

Losing MBock to injury pretty much sums up Lyon's injury crisis in general. Bompastor said that she will undergo tests this week, which I took to mean definitely rules her out against EAG and most likely against PSG. While I do think that MBock is a better defender than Gilles, I also think that Gilles has proven herself in MBock's absence (except for that one super careless pass). Let's see Gilles in a super hostile stadium. This is what the big games are about.

Renard not even waiting for the team to be back in the locker room after the final whistle before chewing them out for that performance is why she is so respected as a leader and human being. She holds the team to standards that she knows they are able to live up to, and doesn't hesitate to remind them when they fail to do so. Accountability is important, and it starts with the team itself.

I found the midfield uninspiring. Damaris did her job, which is probably the only positive I can take away from it. Horan was disappointing. The shots were soft and her play lacked the bite necessary against PSG. She could and should have done better.

Not to sound like a broken record but lord knows the problems I have with Dumornay and they are going to stay until the showboating gets nipped in the bud. It was a good goal, not above giving credit where credit is due, but she had made so many bad decisions in the 84 minutes prior that I am somewhat perplexed why all of those got swept under the rug. This team is not the Melchie Dumornay Show.

Becho should not be starting at Lyon. Idk how many performances like today she has to put up before people understand that Lyon can either be a club focusing on developing young players or a club focused on winning the UWCL but cannot be both. She was drowning out there, Lyon massively improved once she was subbed off, but I guess it's okay because she scored a hat trick against a weak team and is young/has potential.

Welcome to Case of the Ex, Diani. Possibly the only noteworthy thing she did all game.

So that was the negatives, and yes, there were a lot. So what was the good?

Lyon's mentality, mainly. This team is a team who genuinely hates losing. I like how you can actually have a proper philosophical discussion about this hypothetical: is the only thing stronger than Lyon's desire to win their hatred of losing?

And part of that comes Lyon's experience. It's one of those things which I think gets overlooked a lot with this team. But the reality is Lyon has played in so, so many games that they have the experience to - usually - deal with what is happening in front of them. Majri was talking about it in the postgame, that Lyon's experience means both that they know how to handle their emotions: not to get overly excited once they've scored, and not to plummet into depression like a tortured poet if they concede.

It'll be interesting to see what happens next Sunday. Le Sommer and Dabritz are out for sure, if Hegerberg is there it will be on managed minutes, MBock I have doubts because we won't know until next week.

For now, it's a question of coasting on the adrenaline. Winning is fun. Winning is even more fun when it's against your biggest rival in front of almost 40,000 people.

[wisdomrays]

A Distance of Two Bows' Length

This metaphoric Qur'anic expression concerns God's Messenger' unparalleled nearness to God during his Ascension. From the viewpoint of Sufism, it denotes rising beyond the horizons of Divine acts and Names and reaching the peak of Attributes or even going beyond it. Reaching the peak of Attributes is called Nearness relating to the Attributes, and going beyond it is Nearness related to the (Divine) Being Himself. However, we should point out that this nearness is our nearness to the Being Who is nearer to everything than itself, and is self-annihilation in the lights of His Existence through freedom from duality in the state of spiritual pleasures. Travelers who experience this cannot see, know or feel anything other than Him, see what they see as His making them see, feel what they feel as His making them feel, hold what they hold by His making them hold, and obtain what they obtain by His making them obtain. With all the atoms of their bodies, they become eloquent voices speaking of Him.

This nearness is the fruit of ascension toward God. In the universal level it was represented by him whose existence is the ultimate cause for the creation of the universe, upon him be peace and blessings. Those performing spiritual travel under his guidance can have a share in it, each according to his or her rank. A traveler, the elements of whose bodily existence come from stone, dust, clay, air and water, enters the way of being perfected through belief, righteous deeds, sincerity and pursuing God's good pleasure. Freed from imprisonment in the dungeon of corporeality and traveling on the horizons of life in heart and spirit, the traveler is saved from the loneliness and solitude that originate from being distant from God, and reaches the point of friendship with God. In other words, as the traveler was originated by God in the beginning, so finally he or she returns to Him. One's being originated or sent to the world is a descent and called the arch of descent, and one's returning to God through Him and acquiring nearness to Him is ascension and called the arch of ascension. Since the picture formed of these two (curved) arches resembles two archery bows facing one another (separated only by the thickness of two adjacent lines), this has been described as the distance of two bows. Rather than distance, it denotes that the Messenger reached as far as the line or boundary of the realm of mortality and contingency, which adjoins the (Divine) realm of eternity and absolute necessity.

The expression "or nearer" signifies that the two (hypothetical) lines or boundaries, one belonging to the realm of mortality and contingency and the other to the (hypothetical) Divine realm of eternity and absolute necessity, have joined each other and become as if one boundary. It therefore refers to the furthest point of nearness to God as far as that which a created being can reach in journeying toward God. This nearness belongs only to God's Messenger, upon him be peace and blessings.

As mentioned before, every human being is caught up in two movements, one of descent and the other of ascension. The Sufis call the former the arch of descent, and the latter the arch of ascension. Although some Muslim philosophers have viewed this as a cycle based on the theories of Divine emanation and appearance, which are likely to open a door to heretical doctrines such as monism, incarnation and union, in reality this cycle is the education, purification and development of the spirit, making it into a polished mirror to God by means of belief, righteous deeds, sincerity, purity of intention and struggle against the carnal self. This is another on the way to becoming a perfect human being. It is a way that everyone can follow. That is something that Nadiri expresses most memorably:

What does it mean that we have taken up our residence at the highest point of rising, or at a point nearer (to Him)?

We have made the way leading to the station of two bows’ distance a straight and easy path, like an arrow, by treading it time and again.

[birthisacurse-and]

Something mildly random, but it really bothers me how online politics has warped our discussion and understanding of many political and social issues. On one hand, it is a net positive that the American media and most of Gen Z and Millenials in the US seem to believe and espouse left-leaning talking points, but on the other, they do so on such a superficial level that it had rendered us so, completely unequipped to justly address counter-arguments.

Everything is so superficially understood by these people. Like, the tweet I just read that said, "the rich don't play by the same rule as us. they don't go to jail." I understand the need to water down the very broad concept of wealth inequality translating into carceral injustice, but the concise version has been repeated and taught so, so often that now, many of us truly don't understand what it means, and so, we can't counter when someone is like, "that's stupid because rich people do go to jail. No one is above the law. It's up to if you're guilty or not." Like the real statement should be, "when someone gets charged with a crime, they are significantly less likely to lose their case if they can pay for an expensive legal team than if they have a public defender, because of how police investigations/manipulation, bias in the courtroom, and the whole process of discovery and argumentation works in court." But that is too long, and it cannot be efficiently taught or spread on social media or online forums if it isn't cut down. Which is okay, it makes sense and is necessary, but it necessitates people who learn the shortened version eventually going, "please elaborate" or "I wanna learn more". Once they are hooked and introduced, they should then learn the long version, to truly understand. But they don't. We don't. And now, so many of us that hold leftist views, unless we specifically devote our studies or careers to political, sociological, or anthropological research, go around trying to convince others that these are truths, and we have no fucking arguments when someone is like "well actually-". And it's a disservice to us, and to the oppressed people leftists supposedly try to protect or seek justice for.

The right teaches its teenagers and young adults and fucking children, here's the foundation for why you should believe this. Here are all the processes that have led to the current reality. The alt-right online doesn't just go "whites are getting replaced", the alt-right online is like, "here are the 'scientific studies' that prove mongrel DNA (or whatever its called), and here are the statistics of how the US's demographics are changing, and here are full-fledged theories and philosophies that explain and provide context for the supposition of white supremacy, and here are videos of POC being bad or cringe or violent or dangerous. Finally, here is the conclusion: whites are being replaced, so we must fight to stop it." Like, that's how the very pipeline works. The pipeline is structured in such a manner that methodically equips future right-wingers with the rhetorical tools they need to eventually continue spreading their rhetoric. They aren't drawn in with the concise version and then pushed to learn; they are taught the whole story, and then given the one-liner.

Anyways, this makes it so a lot of the things leftists say, to the politically unequipped, seem totally out there and strange and crazy. They seem unsubstantiated. We make bold claims, but we don't ease people into them. Today in class, I said, "the problem with Rosalia is that, by singing with and using Latin music genres, she is taking the place of another potential Latin artist." To me, as someone who studied politics for 3 years, I thought all the underlying truths went unsaid. I thought I didn't need to elaborate. To me, I understand how race and culture are these tenuous, hypothetical spaces. I understand that, under capitalism, industries that require mass approval such as music, are always competitions, even if they don't seem like it. Under this system, there is a very fine limit on the amount of attention one can amass, and popularity is a scarce currency, not infinite. This means that, when one artist fades out of the periphery of an audiencemember, another artist will replace them. But there is a finite amount of attention each audiencemember can give, and there is a finite number of audiencemembers. When you bring race into the mix, and consider that Rosalia, by being born in a first-world, European country, and by having an amount of wealth that might not have made her family rich in Spain, but would have made her rich in most of Latin America, you realize that she always had a step up. She can approximate the Latin aesthetic, because she is tan and speaks Spanish and has the same hair and facial features that Spaniards passed on to Latinos centuries ago. But she will always be a misrepresentation of a culture she did not entrench herself in from birth, and someone whose very distance from that culture allowed her the success she currently enjoys, that many prospective Latin artists will never come close to. SO, when I said that in class, I said with all this background knowledge, with the assumption that everyone else in class would, too. And then I had the nerve to be confused and annoyed when someone responded, "I don't think Rosalia is taking the place of a potential Latin artist. I don't think if she wasn't a singer, a Latin artist would have taken her place." But I'm an idiot, because of course my classmates understood my statement as me literally saying, if Rosalia was taking outta the equation, fucking Maria Hernandez from Honduras would have been the Rosalia of our time, winning all the awards and amassing all the wealth. But that's not what I meant. That's never what we really mean, when we try to pass on these statements, these one-liners, these aesthetic little epiphanies fit for an Instagram infographic or a college Spanish class. But this is what we give, it is what people take away, and anyone in my class who went away with, "Rosalia is taking the place of another, actual Latin artist", without already knowing all the nuance and context I just explained... well, I did a disservice to them by not really teaching.

The left does not teach, nowadays. We may in classrooms in very prestigious colleges. But that's about it. In our social, daily lives, we do not teach our followers or coworkers or family members. We repeat. We parrot. Or, even if we ourselves understand, we still only give others lines to parrot. The right is the teacher. For the right wing in America today, Prager U is the norm. It is the universal strategy. And that's why they're winning.

[thehollowprince]

Omega-Level Mutants

A mutant whose dominant power is deemed to register - or reach - an undefinable upper limit of that power's specific classification.

Example: Both Magneto and Forge are rhe most powerful mutants of their respective types [Magnetism and Technopathy, respectively], but what makes Magneto, and not Forge, an Omega level mutant is that the upper limit of Forge's measurable powers could hypothetically be surpassed (and, in fact, has by multiple humans on the planet), while the upper limit of Magneto's power cannot be surpassed in any measurable fashion.

Note: Omega level is a classification of a single mutant power. While it's quite common that mutants manifest multiple powers, only one is normally Omega level.

Example: While Jean Grey is both a telepath and a telekinetic, she is only an Omega level telepath.

Omega Level Mutants of Krakoa

Jamie Braddock - MONARCH

Bobby Drake - ICEMAN

Joshua Foley - ELIXIR

Jean Grey - MARVEL GIRL

David Haller - LEGION

Erik Lehnsherr - MAGNETO

Kevin MacTaggert - PROTEUS

Absalon Mercator - MISTER M

Ororo Munroe - STORM

Bennet du Paris - EXODUS

Quentin Quire - KID OMEGA

Franklin Richards - POWERHOUSE (fuck you, Dan Slott!)

Gabriel Summers - VULCAN

Hope Summers - HOPE

All information taken from this data page.

Note: Nathaniel Grey is technically an Omega level mutant, but we're not entirely sure what happened with him since AGE OF X-MAN so we're going to exclude him from the above list.

I put all that first so that we'd all have an understanding of what an Omega level mutant is, and why I think it's time to expand that roster. Yes, they've added quite a few when it comes to the various new mutants we've gotten from Arakko and Amenth, but I feel it's time that we recognize some of the home-grown homo superior from planet Earth as deserving of that title.

#1: Madelyne Pryor

This should be the most obvious addition to the list.

Maddie is an exact physical clone of Jean Grey. Why she has never been considered an Omega level mutant is beyond me, but we're going to start putting respect on her name, especially after all the horrible things she's been through since her creation.

Justice for Maddie!

#2. Everett Thomas - SYNCH

Synch is another fairly obvious one, especially given his power boost since his time in the Vault. He can "synchronize" with other mutants (and super-powered individuals) and use their powers, often to a greater extent and efficiency than the original being. He's even shown being able to call upon powers he's previously synched with even when the owner of those powers is nowhere near.

Example: he used Jean's telekinesis when she was on Arakko [Mars] and he was on Earth.

#3. Christopher Muse - TRIAGE

His powers are almost exactly the same as Elixir, even up to reanimating the dead. With time, I could easily see him rising to the rank of Omega level, even being able to fill in as a replacement for Josh on the Five.

Of course, that would require for writers to remember he exists and actually write for him, which I'm not going to hold my breath for any time soon.

#4. Armando Muñoz - DARWIN

Darwin's power is literally to adapt to anything.

He went up against Hela, the Norse goddess of death... and won. He won! He beat a death god by spontaneously evolving into a death god himself.

He's an Omega level mutant. Fight me.

#5. Shiro Yoshida - SUNFIRE

Sunfire I debated on adding to this, because he's powerful, sure, but is he Storm or Iceman level powerful? Originally I would have said no, but after the KING IN BLACK crossover event for S.W.O.R.D., where Fabian Cortez boosted his powers to effectively make him a living sun, I've since reconsidered.

#6. Eva Bell - TEMPUS

Tempus can time travel. She can manipulate time to the extent that she completely erased an Omega level reality warper from existence. Sure, she did it with help from Xavier, but without her, all of reality probably would have fallen apart.

With some time (ironically) and training, she should be recognized as Omega level soon.

#7. Eden Fesi - MANIFOLD

Manifold is another no-brainer for me.

Abigail Brand described his powers as "talking to space and space listening" (paraphrasing). He could potentially use his power to "ask" all light to bend around him, and it would listen. He teleported light and heat from a sun at a Knull-possessed Cable. He caught a falling Peak S.W.O.R.D station out of the sky and sent it back into orbit.

There is no "teleporter" even close to being on his level.

#8. Nezhno Abidemi - GENTLE

Gentle is one of the ones I feel I'd get the most pushback on, but let's be real here. His strength was so profound that he required vibranium tattoos to keep his strength in check. Yes, this was later revealed/retconned to have been a psychological block he unconsciously imposed on himself because of his childhood abuse, but now that it's gone, he has no known limits.

It's been theorized (but not proven) that he could go toe-to-toe with the Hulk and more than likely come out on top in the end.

#9. Irene Adler - DESTINY

Destiny - the name says it all. She sees everything! Past? Present? Future? There is no where that her Sight doesn't reach. Hell, she can even see across timeliness!

Not to mention, she operates more as a Prophet than a seer, seeing as the things she writes down in her Diaries, have all come to pass. She doesn't just see the future, she writes it.

#10. Julio Richter - RICTOR

Last but not least, my boy Rictor.

To round out our elemental masters, why wouldn't the guy who controls the Earth itself be considered an Omega level mutant. He literally controls the Earth. And sure, he's had problems in the past, but if he continues on the path that he's on, he could be one of the most powerful mutants ever.

Honorable Mentions

Lorna Dane - POLARIS

Ruth Aldine - BLINDFOLD

Heather Tucker - TEMPO

Feel free to add more.

[tawakkull]

ISLAM 101: Spirituality in Islam: Part 67

A distance of two bows’ length

This metaphoric Qur’anic expression concerns God’s Messenger’ unparalleled nearness to God during his Ascension. From the viewpoint of Sufism, it denotes rising beyond the horizons of Divine acts and Names and reaching the peak of Attributes or even going beyond it. Reaching the peak of Attributes is called Nearness relating to the Attributes, and going beyond it is Nearness related to the (Divine) Being Himself. However, we should point out that this nearness is our nearness to the Being Who is nearer to everything than itself, and is self-annihilation in the lights of His Existence through freedom from duality in the state of spiritual pleasures. Travelers who experience this cannot see, know or feel anything other than Him, see what they see as His making them see, feel what they feel as His making them feel, hold what they hold by His making them hold, and obtain what they obtain by His making them obtain. With all the atoms of their bodies, they become eloquent voices speaking of Him.

This nearness is the fruit of ascension toward God. In the universal level it was represented by him whose existence is the ultimate cause for the creation of the universe, upon him be peace and blessings. Those performing spiritual travel under his guidance can have a share in it, each according to his or her rank. A traveler, the elements of whose bodily existence come from stone, dust, clay, air and water, enters the way of being perfected through belief, righteous deeds, sincerity and pursuing God’s good pleasure. Freed from imprisonment in the dungeon of corporeality and traveling on the horizons of life in heart and spirit, the traveler is saved from the loneliness and solitude that originate from being distant from God, and reaches the point of friendship with God. In other words, as the traveler was originated by God in the beginning, so finally he or she returns to Him. One’s being originated or sent to the world is a descent and called the arch of descent, and one’s returning to God through Him and acquiring nearness to Him is ascension and called the arch of ascension. Since the picture formed of these two (curved) arches resembles two archery bows facing one another (separated only by the thickness of two adjacent lines), this has been described as the distance of two bows. Rather than distance, it denotes that the Messenger reached as far as the line or boundary of the realm of mortality and contingency, which adjoins the (Divine) realm of eternity and absolute necessity.

The expression “or nearer” signifies that the two (hypothetical) lines or boundaries, one belonging to the realm of mortality and contingency and the other to the (hypothetical) Divine realm of eternity and absolute necessity, have joined each other and become as if one boundary. It therefore refers to the furthest point of nearness to God as far as that which a created being can reach in journeying toward God. This nearness belongs only to God’s Messenger, upon him be peace and blessings.

As mentioned before, every human being is caught up in two movements, one of descent and the other of ascension. The Sufis call the former the arch of descent, and the latter the arch of ascension. Although some Muslim philosophers have viewed this as a cycle based on the theories of Divine emanation and appearance, which are likely to open a door to heretical doctrines such as monism, incarnation and union, in reality this cycle is the education, purification and development of the spirit, making it into a polished mirror to God by means of belief, righteous deeds, sincerity, purity of intention and struggle against the carnal self. This is another on the way to becoming a perfect human being. It is a way that everyone can follow. That is something that Nadiri expresses most memorably:

What does it mean that we have taken up our residence at the highest point of rising, or at a point nearer (to Him)? We have made the way leading to the station of two bows’ distance a straight and easy path, like an arrow, by treading it time and again.

[ingravinoveritas]

I'm sorry but I can't stop picturing Georgia with a glass of wine watching Michael nail David into the bed, and then the both of them toasting while David is boneless on the bed.

Oh, lordy, Anon. I know you sent this two days ago, but it was entirely too spicy for a Wednesday, so I wanted to wait til now to answer it. Hell, I might need a cigarette just from reading that, and I don’t even smoke...

What you described actually reminds me of a Michael/David/Georgia fic I read on AO3 ages ago, in that it was Michael/David with Georgia watching/directing the action. I don’t know if you know it at all, but I would highly recommend checking it out.

I’ll tell you, though...there is only one thing I am going to disagree with about this sinfully sexy scenario you’ve painted. I’ve responded previously to another Anon about what it would be like if Georgia watched Michael and David having sex over FaceTime, but if we’re talking in person--like in the same room in person--I could absolutely see Georgia watching, glass of wine in hand.

But...I cannot and do not see Michael getting up from that bed for anything, especially not if David is boneless and fucked out beneath him.

Michael would be holding David, still enveloped by the warmth and tightness of his body, David’s long legs wrapped around his waist. Michael kisses him tenderly as he comes down from his orgasm high, body still shaking from overstimulation. He watches David intently--the lightness returning to his eyes where they’d been dark brown and blown wide with pleasure, the sated, sleepy smile curling the corner of his mouth, the crimson flush creeping up his neck, head turned to one side and half-buried in a pillow.

“Mmh. No hiding, love. Not here.”

“Not hiding. Just...can’t move. Don’t want to, either.”

Michael lets out a soft chuckle as David grips his curls, pulling him into the warm column of his neck. He presses a kiss to David’s collarbone, one hand caressing the length of David’s side possessively, thigh to ankle and back up again.

He feels himself slip out of David and hisses, glancing down to admire where their bodies met, unable to resist sliding a finger inside as David groans, still wet with Michael’s release. 

“That’s it, Dai. I’m here. I’ve got you,” Michael murmurs, inhaling the heady scent of David after sex.

Making love, he silently corrects himself, and swears he hears David think it at the same time he loops his arms around Michael’s neck.

The soft rustle of fabric and the sound of Georgia clearing her throat brings them both back to reality. She raises an eyebrow in approval at Michael, then winks at David, lifting her glass to both of them.

 “I’d say that was fucking well done. Cheers.”

-----

So yes, I think that is more of how I would envision the scenario you proposed, Anon. I certainly do appreciate you sharing this with me (and hopefully my followers do, too!). And how I envy Georgia for even hypothetically getting to witness that. We should all be so lucky... 🥵

[my-bated-breath]

Do you think Aang and Katara would still end up together if Katara killed her mother’s killer? How would that affect their relationship?

Hey anon! Sorry it took me a while to answer your question, but the truth is that there is no clear trajectory regarding Kata/ang in this situation, especially when we take into account that Kata/ang in the show canon was abrupt and significantly underdeveloped. More specifically on Kata/ang, both Katara and Aang’s arcs were twisted to accommodate for their endgame romance, but while Katara’s arc reaches its culmination by the end of the Final Agni Kai, Aang’s character had become inconsistent in its direction throughout all of season 3.

As such, two conflicting outcomes can result from this hypothetical scenario — one outcome which upholds Aang’s flaws and stagnated growth, or another outcome which forces Aang into growing, accepting, and understanding, as was the original intent behind his character.

From a broader context, Aang’s entire journey since he woke up in the iceberg has been about him reconciling his airbender and Avatar identity, and by the end of season 2 when he is with the guru, Aang is on the cusp of fully accepting his Avatar responsibilities, of letting go of his selfish attachments (or in other words, his blinding biases).

Except Aang cannot let go as he hoped he would be able to. Because his attachment to Katara is selfish, but beyond that his attachment to Katara is a replacement for his attachment to the Air Nomads — and it draws him away from his duties as the Avatar, causing him to embrace an ideal he does not comprehend. After all, the Air Nomads were not perfectly pacifistic either.

Still, just as Aang refuses to recognize the complexity in the Air Nomads’ legacies, dismissing what he may deem as an act of violence, Aang refuses to recognize the complexity to Katara’s rage and compassion, to her violent and protective nature. In my meta “On Ideals and Idealization,” I elaborate on Aang’s idealization of Katara:

Aang loves Katara, yes, but he is in love with an idealized version of her. In his mind, he holds close the idea of a gentle Katara, a smiling Katara, a compassionate and all-loving Katara. Even though he has seen her darkest moments when she bloodbends Hama - arms bent in disjointed angles, fingers curled as if manipulating puppet strings -  it does not tarnish his image of her because, at this moment, she is not the persecutor, but the persecuted.

After her experience with Hama, Aang is there to comfort her and help her come to terms with the terrifying power she now possesses. With her face streaked with tears and eyes widened with horror, it is clear that this is a power that Katara does not want, that it has been thrust onto her against her own will.

The conclusion that Aang draws from this is that Katara’s inner darkness is a separate entity from her inner light, and he perceives this acquired part of her as a blemish on her inherent goodness. As such, in “the Southern Raiders,” when he witnesses how Katara’s anger and grief drive her to hunt down her mother’s killer, he equates Katara seeking closure to Katara succumbing to darkness, tainting her purity and compassion in the process.

Thus, given Aang’s reaction to Katara’s bloodbending, he may be inclined to love her in a piteous, nearly-obligatory manner. He’ll love her as the victim who lost sight and control and he’ll love her as a being of compassion and pacificity, but nothing more. Just like in the Southern Raiders, he may magnanimously grant Katara his forgiveness and his continued love even when she never asked for it. And in the end, Aang and Katara will kiss on the balcony of Iroh’s tea shop, only this time it’s not only “the hero winning the girl,” but “the bright and cheerful boy fixing the broken girl” as well.

This is the ending where Aang clings onto idealization even when it renders him a hypocrite, in the same way he is a hypocrite for shouting at his friends for pushing him to kill Ozai when it is implied he killed thousands at sea in the Siege at the North Pole.

This is the ending where he does not grow.

Note: Aang retreating into a ball of earth as a narrative parallel to the beginning of the series when he was encased in a ball of ice would have been much more powerful if only Aang entered the Avatar State through character growth rather than by the power of the Pointy Rock of Destiny (TM).

Now, let’s consider an ending where Aang’s perspective broadens rather than narrows and where Aang unroots himself from the past, pulling free from stagnance. Let’s consider a hypothetical scenario in which Aang finds out Katara killed Yon Rha. How may he react?

He may not be able to at first, too torn between his belief that Katara only uses violence as a last resort and the reality that Katara uses violence as a means of agency as well. Revenge corrupts; it is a stain that cannot be washed away. There is no reconciling Katara’s previous compassionate and loving nature with this dark path she has now chosen.

Except this is Katara he’s talking about, Katara who he loves and gave up the Avatar State for. Surely there’s a way to save her, right? Yes, just as Aang told Katara before she left, forgiveness is the answer. And while Katara may not have chosen forgiveness in the end, Aang can guide her by example.

The next day, he approaches her with the offer to exempt her from her wrongdoings.

Katara, tired and mournful, looks down at Aang.

“What was so wrong about what I did?”

Inside she is hurting. There is truth to what Aang said, that revenge is poisonous both to the victim and the perpetrator, but it is not poisonous for the reasons he thinks it is. As George Orwell writes in his essay, “revenge is an act which you want to commit when you are powerless and because you are powerless: as soon as the sense of impotence is removed, the desire evaporates also” (Revenge is Sour). There’s no doubt that Yon Rha was despicable, and there’s only a little doubt in saying that his punishment should fit his crime — the only regret Katara may have here is that killing Yon Rha is a meaningless act, for she has already gained power over him in every meaning of the word. Revenge is only a gateway to senseless violence and hatred; it is not a slope from which there is no recovery, and given Katara’s emotional intelligence, she likely has or will recognize this. Although she may feel regret, she needs no one’s forgiveness.

Aang is shocked. “But violence is never the answer,” he stands by, he pleads by. His voice grows quieter. “You know that… you knew that, didn’t you?”

Katara answers him, but it’s all a blur. She says something about agency, protection, and justice. He remembers something about that too, about the fury that burned in her eyes when she declared, “I will never, ever, turn my back on the people who need me!” Then there was the hostility simmering in her glare towards Zuko, the way she muttered that she didn’t trust him, not when he could still hurt them — hurt Aang — again. 

Because Katara’s anger and compassion do not simply split themselves into two identities. Instead, they coexist and coalesce into one. They drive each other; they feed into each other; they are two sides of the same coin.

Excerpt from my meta Rage, Compassion, and the Bridge in Between

The beloved ideal of Katara — the one that he thought was on the verge of being tainted, the one that never existed — shatters. But just because it’s broken doesn’t mean Aang doesn’t want to fix it. So in the days leading up to Sozin’s Comet, he tries to pick up the fragments to the Katara-he-knew and piece them together again, all the while avoiding Katara’s mournful (yet resolved) stare. He ignores the way Zuko and Katara share glances with a heaviness as if they were the only two people in the world, full of some significance he cannot grasp. Still, it haunts him like the way Zuko’s touch lingers on Katara’s shoulder or Katara’s hand brushes Zuko’s briefly whenever they don’t think anyone’s looking, reflecting a togetherness escaping loneliness.

But there’s no answer that arrives quick enough to save Aang from his doubt and confusion. All too soon, Sozin’s Comet is upon them, and Aang wanders to another world on the lion turtle's back — but this time when he listens to the past Avatars’ advice, his perspective undergoes a paradigm shift.

They are right. The Air Nomads that he prioritized, that blinded him to his duties — they do not exist. Their love is still there, pure and human but not all-encompassing, tucked in the corner of his heart. And Katara was the same. She was and is not all-loving or all-compassionate or all-anything, really, because she is more human than that.

This time Katara’s image shatters again. But Aang does not follow the falling pieces to the ground, desperate to find them and force them together again. No, he sees past the remains and sees Katara for who she is. For who she wants to be. For who she can be (around someone else), when she’s not compelled to take on the caretaker role just for him.

(And he thought he was so generous, offering to forgive him. But it was never his forgiveness to give in the first place.)

Aang lets go of his last attachment.

The last airbender lives on, but so does the Avatar.

[chalkrevelations]

Huh.

Well, this is not the next episode reaction you were expecting, but a while back, in the middle of the night, while I was ready to cry from working on a pharmacology paper, out of nowhere, Youtube threw up Street Dance of China S3 Ep1 at me. And yeah. I am, admittedly, f’kn weak for a dance show. (There are enough SYTYCD episode reax on my old Livejournal that I feel there’s no point denying this.)

So – no, actually, wait. FIRST of all, I do NOT believe the “towel vote” we ended up being given for the opening routines from the four captains. That was the most blatant bit of bullshit chicanery I’ve seen in my LIFE, and I say this as a person with a ton of SYTYCD episode reax on my old Livejournal, and I also say this not because Wang Yibo ended up last (well, not entirely), but because I saw Wallace Chung’s routine. As someone closer in age to him than to the other three captains, I have to give him props for trying, but come on, man. The critique that Yibo got from random contestants – if the subtitles are to be believed, so I realize this needs a grain of salt - basically boiled down to “it was too good for the stage lighting.” :hands: Also, I saw your face at the reveal, Wallace, and you were as shocked as I was. No way you got more towels/votes than Wang Yibo. Not unless there’s some super wild undercurrent of nostalgia propping you up, which, I guess could happen, because literally all I know about pop culture in China, current or otherwise, is filtered through Tumblr and Youtube, both notoriously suspect, but … anyway. There’s got to be a TON of behind-the-scenes manipulation going on for Yibo to be rock-bottom with last pick of teams but then also to end up with THAT pool of possibles. Are you kidding me with this?

ANYWAY, what I wanted to say is that I actually really like Wang Yibo here, and it’s not just because he’s the only captain I have even a sliver of familiarity with, and it’s not just because Lan Wangji was banging Wei Wuxian. I do realize all of this is influenced by whatever edit they’ve decided to give a particular captain or contestant, but I’m impressed with the way Yibo immediately starts team building by getting his group into a warmup, getting them dancing together, getting them dancing with him before they have to worry about dancing for him. (I mean, come on, Jackson Wang. The way to get people to stop being nervous is not to say “Stop being nervous! It will make you fuck up!”) The way Yibo immediately recognized and responded to his group’s concerns about that one dude copying someone else’s routine probably also bought him a lot of return investment. He’s dressed to work it, in his sweats and his flannel (what IS that fake-leather TAC vest and random leg holster-looking thing, Jackson Wang?). He’s convincing me he really loves to dance, he can’t hold still while he watches the contestants, he’s wandering over into other captains’ turf when it sounds like there’s a dancer performing who he might like to see, he’s being the best Yibo he can be, and I’m grooving along, wind in my hair, totally down for this ride. He’s also adorable at the beginning when all the other captains are like, my goal for this season is to slaughter the competition and dance on their graves! And he’s like, well, I’d like to … make some friends? And learn some new stuff? I don’t know if the perpetual Humble Student schtick is natural or persona, or whether it’s general or specific to dancing, but it’s working for you, my dude. This is also made better (read: ironic), by the fact that it’s immediately before the towel reveal, when he flips over to utter disbelief and gets all sulky for a while over the “fact” that his dance routine got the least votes.

Also, OH WAIT. This is where that clip of Yibo dancing with his crew ALL OVER HIM came from that I saw floating around a few months ago, isn’t it? You’re telling me those guys had never danced together before and had like, three minutes to throw together that routine? I’m even more impressed than before. Meanwhile, the towels symbolize courage and challenge, Mr. Emcee? OK, fine, cheesy reality show blah blah whatever. Can we get to the dancing now?

I’m going to put the rest of this behind a cut, because it got super long, because it turns out, when you watch in 5-minute increments, it takes two and a half weeks to get through a single episode, but you actually can see and have opinions on all 5,328 contestants, plus every single one of the captains’ battles. Meanwhile, I’m trying to convince myself this is not going to be another series of episode reactions, but 1) I do have the benefit of not having a ton of hometown media giving me a next-day play-by-play, so even though this is six months old, everything’s a surprise; 2) I am, admittedly, f’kn weak for a dance show; and 3) it’s easy to watch in 5-minute increments between researching drug interactions in hypothetical hypertensive patients with stable ischemic heart disease, erectile dysfunction, and seasonal allergies. So, I guess we’ll see. It’ll be slow going, though, because I don’t ever have two and half hours to sit down and watch an ep cover-to-cover – if it happens, it will likely keep happening in 5-minute increments. Meanwhile, there is a metric shit-ton of nattering below the cut, so caveat lector. No, seriously, I kept adding to this little by little until it became a monster. Hashtag long post (remorseful).

OK, I am generally out of my depth here, as this is not at all my area of dance not-really-expertise, but some reactions:

Team Wang Yibo: I can see why he didn’t want to choose between Colin and Dian Men – Colin might have been a touch better technically and a better showman, but Dian Men didn’t seem to have a single wasted move – but, also, my dude. Yibo. You maybe should look a little bit less stunned and overwhelmed by the mere presence of Colin, it’s giving me ideas about your taste in men. Continuing with the powerhouses, I probably shouldn’t even attempt to critique Klash, but I did feel like he was a bit stiff in some of his footwork; that final V kick, though, shit, that’s what having that kind of upper-body strength is for. Bouboo … I mean, excellent flexibility and control, of course, but mainly I’m just terribly amused that Yibo got last pick of teams but somehow ended up with the guy who’s literal world champion, and who’s just as useful for getting into the other captains’ heads – without even trying – as he is for his talent. And then there’s a montage of Yibo giving out towel after towel after towel, and my dude, you cannot keep up this pace. There are still too many dancers to see, and you don’t have that many towels. AAANNNND Towel Battle #1 (See Footnote 1).

Team Jackson Wang: I do like Gai Gai, although that may be influenced by the fact she’s working in the twilight area between hip-hop and contemporary that I have more familiarity with - but also, I suspect she’s pretty good in her genre. I thought Xiao Jie was inconsistent and didn’t stick the landing on his initial attempt, so I have to give you that hesitation, Jackson, even though you’ve somehow ended up the villain in my inner narrative for this show, for no particular reason I can yet discern. Maybe it’s that you’re the direct competition for Yibo’s team in the towel battles. Good enough. Anyway, Xiao Jie definitely stepped up his game for the battle with Bingo, so I can kind of see why both of them got a towel, but we’re not even halfway through this, and most of y’all are giving away towels like you have an endless supply. Yang Kai is a fucking menace with fantastic musicality, and I’m just gonna say it and take the fallout - I think he gave a better performance first time out of the gate than any of Yibo’s powerhouses did. Whatever power Klash has got, whatever skill Bouboo has got, Yang Kai feels more explosive and engaging, at least in these initial showings. He’s going to be one to beat, I’d hug him too, if he was on my team and was going to help me WIN. Yibo’s probably lucky that happened during his little stroll over to check out the competition, so that he can see they’re definitely competitive and be prepared for it. Also, Jackson, I have to admit - that face you made when Chao really kicked in? That was the same face I made, because wt actual f, you have a literal secret weapon – secret because he CAME FROM NOWHERE and NO ONE EVEN KNOWS him, how is that even possible, how did he get that good – fluid, creative, controlled, incredible musicality - without anyone having any idea who he even is? And then there’s a montage of Jackson just giving out towel after towel after towel, and my dude, you need to slow down. You can’t just be like, “THEY LOVE DANCE WITH ALL OF THEIR WHOLE HEARTS!!!!1111!!!!11!” I get it, but everyone there loves dance with all of their whole hearts, and there are not enough towels to send all of them on to the next round. ANNNND, Towel Battle #1 (See Footnote 1).

Team Lay Zhang: lol at how diplomatic you’re being, Lay Zhang – your team’s fierce roar startled you, OK. At this point, I suspect you’re the street most likely to have a knife fight break out before this is all over. I do like Alex, I think he’s got a lot of interesting, super-clean details in his moves, and he’s engaging - I cannot BELIEVE you made him battle that dude whose moves were so mushy, Lay Zhang, it leaves me doubting your ability to judge this thing. At first I thought maybe you were just looking for an excuse because you wanted to see Alex freestyle, but then you actually said something about both dancers being equal, and my estimation of you plummeted, and also sadly, my sound dropped out for the actual battle, including the part where the clearly inferior dancer fell over and then accidentally POPPED ALEX ONE IN THE EYE, and I TOLD YOU SO. I do agree it’s a good idea to make dancers in the same genre do some battling, so you can kind of plan out your towels and put together a team with broad strengths, instead of giving out towels like you’re making it rain for the first 20 contestants, and then you have 1,375 more people to get through, with 3 towels left, as EVERYONE ELSE seems to be doing, so it’s nice that at least one of you guys is thinking – if not actually acting - strategically. That was clearly not even a contest, though, GIVE ALEX HIS TOWEL and send him to the next round. Xiao Bao is hilarious, with his concern that his team captain, who’s into krump, which is “beating,” isn’t going to appreciate his waacking, which is “slapping.” I also don’t know a whole lot about waacking, so thanks for the primer, Xiao Bao, and don’t worry, your performance is just as engaging for those of us who don’t know what we’re watching as you are generally. You deserve that towel for your ability to interact with and engage your audience, alone. Lingo is a good solid performance, although he’s got his team captain strategizing edited over some of it, and here’s the thing: we are 1:56:00 into this, at this point, with another half hour to go, and all of you are starting to disappear into the sea of dancers who are very good at what you do, but at generally the same level? Anyway, Lingo, I approve of your ability to interact with your audience (read: your captain) to ensure engagement, too, so keep that up. Annnd, we actually haven’t seen that much of you guys, but it’s time for Towel Battle #2 (See Footnote 2).

Team Wallace Chung: I’m glad Su Lian Ya insisted on performing, I thought she started off slow but warmed up, and that ending was creepily fantastic and had me spontaneously grinning at the screen in delight. Then we lose sight of this group for a really long time, actually. We go back to find Wallace putting through a couple of urban dancers who we barely see, but who apparently claim to have some choreography experience, and he really likes that. TI shows up, and they’re solid, but honestly, not as good in this performance as they were in some of the stock footage the show threw up to introduce them, but Wallace remains super-excited about the idea of choreography and sends at least choreographer Zhang Jiang Peng through to the next round. And then, we really haven’t seen that much of you guys, either, which maybe doesn’t bode well, but it’s time for Towel Battle #2 (See Footnote 2).

FOOTNOTE 1, aka TOWEL BATTLE ONE, Team Yibo vs. Team Jackson, 3V3 freestyle: First of all, I have to say, I love Yibo - Mr. I Just Wanna Make Some Friends And Have Some Fun - being all, “I have three crappy white towels I’m stuck with for coming in last place that I can’t use to send dancers to the next round and that I DO NOT DESERVE, and I am getting BACK the colorful towels that ARE RIGHTFULLY MINE. I am coming for whoever is in my way.” Team Yibo is Bouboo, Klash, Dian Men, and OK, given what we’ve seen so far, that’s the safe choice, but honestly, I think we’re just taking some things for granted right now, and I’m not sure they actually have given the best performances so far. Yeah, I said it. Team Jackson is Yang Kai, Chao, and Xiao Jie, and … ok, on that last one, I think you probably could have substituted Bingo, but all right. Yang Kai is a definite yes. Chao will be great if he can stay out of his own head and not psych himself out, but given what we’ve seen so far, he’s an obvious pick. First round, Yang Kai vs. Klash, and Yang Kai is still a fucking menace, with super lines. Klash definitely stepped up his game for the battle, and I can’t get over the upper body strength he’s got, to get that kind of airy bounce in his moves, but to be honest, I can’t even be mad the first round went to Yang Kai and Team Jackson. Second round, Yang Kai is still … y’all, the beautiful lines from this guy in his poses, I can’t get over them, but I think he doesn’t have the stamina, his footwork is getting sloppy. Bouboo also steps up his game for an actual battle, his fluidity and control is amazing, and yeah, round to Team Yibo. Round three, Xiao Jie gives it a decent effort, but the polish isn’t there; meanwhile Bouboo is still in champion mode, and I was kind of surprised this was a split vote and went to another round. Xiao Jie absolutely surprised me, coming back stronger on his second try, although I suppose a more familiar genre helped, but Bouboo continues in champion mode. Round four, Chao looks like he’s going to throw up right before he steps out there, and then as soon as the music starts, it’s like, he doesn’t even think. The music just moves him. I feel like his dance vocabulary is more limited than Bouboo’s, though, and Bouboo’s flow is amazing at this point, so I feel like the judges just want to drag this out and see more dancing when we go to one more round. Strong effort all around, but yeah, round four and two towels to Team Yibo. I can’t really complain about that. I do feel like Yibo’s powerhouses have been holding back until now, though, and I’m not sure how I feel about THAT.

FOOTNOTE 2, aka TOWEL BATTLE TWO, Team Zhang vs. Team Wallace, 3V3 w/ captain: lol, Team Zhang really wants someone to pick the Sailor Moon song because they know Xiao Bao and his waacking will tear it up. Anyway, Team Zhang includes Lingo and Xiao Bao, who does not get his Sailor Moon song and continues to be hilarious in his disbelief about being chosen to participate in this battle, when he’s not looking almost as sick as Chao from Team Jackson before HIS performance. Team Wallace includes Su Lian Ya – and honestly, despite how I’m getting ready to bag on him for the entire rest of this battle recap, I like that Wallace put one of his female dancers up there for the battle - and some dude named Ba that they haven’t given us any footage of, up ‘til now, at least that I can remember and who I … don’t even know has been formally given a towel and sent on to the next round, yet? Oh wait, he must have, because there’s talk in the pause for choreography about somehow using the towels during the battle. Wallace relies on Su Lian Ya and Zhang Jiang Peng to choose Ba, and then Ba ends up choreographing a lot of the performance, at least from the edit we see. I continue to feel you may be in over your head, Wallace. This feeling … is not assuaged by your performance in the first round, which is fine, but not really up to the level of almost anyone whose name I’ve bolded so far in this entire recap. Also, using the towels was a cute idea, but it doesn’t translate well, and Team Wallace has a lot of wasted time throwing the towels around instead of actually. You know. Dancing. Lingo gets a credible solo during Team Zhang’s performance, and even though Xiao Bao is clearly lost during a good bit of his backup dancer duties, he manages not to throw up, which – given this team’s general skill level – should be enough to give them the first round, EXCEPT SOMEHOW Team Wallace gets the point from the judges, who then try to justify this inexplicable decision by saying Team Wallace had better interaction, I guess because of the hot mess with throwing the towels around, but adding that Team Zhang was more scattered, which what? More scattered than the hot mess with the towels? I’m not buying this. I can’t tell if they’re propping up Wallace or fucking with Lay Zhang’s head, but I’m having bad acid flashbacks to the many and varied ways dance show judges will try to gaslight you, telling you that things you just saw with your very own eyes did not actually happen when it’s right there! On camera! Visible, despite whatever edit bs you’re pulling! ANYWAY, they’re definitely managing to fuck with not only Lay Zhang’s head, but Xiao Bao’s, and Xiao Bao still doesn’t seem to have his choreography down, but they manage to pull it together enough to take the second round, which to be honest is kind of a muddled mess on everyone’s part. The only one who really stands out to me on this go’round is Su Lian Ya, but OK, Team Zhang might have had it slightly more together as a unit. And then, yeah, OK, I think they were fucking with Lay Zhang’s head, because we then find out that, holy shit, the song the show powers-that-be chose for the tie-breaking third round is that gd Sailor Moon song, and we can all see the writing on the wall. Poor Team Wallace is no match for Xiao Bao, who frankly, carries this entire round on his shoulders without breaking a sweat and barely needs any backup dancers to do it. There’s some ridiculously dramatic reveal of scoring, with the judges dragging out their decisions like this was any actual contest - I’m beginning to suspect that some of them grew up with Wallace Chung posters on their bedroom walls - but finally, round and towel to Team Zhang.

Cut to a little bit of Next Time On, and wow, the first two-and-a-half-hour episode is over, and we aren’t finished with the initial round yet. It’s gonna be Christmas before I make it halfway through this season.

[wxlfstxrx]

I'm honestly so impatient and want to know about Finn and Leo's first kiss!!!! Could you do your take on it?

wOkay this is a long one, and i lowkey feel like i should turn this into prose instead. if anyone wants me to, pls holla @ me hehehheehe

leo has had a crush on finn since one week into moving into the apartment, but he’s perceptive as hell and doesn’t wanna overstep boundaries by making a move on finn when he obviously has something going on with logan

he does do other things like hug him and ruffle his fiery red hair. he can’t help himself, finn is too adorable and he never wants to leave his side

eventually though, two years or so later, logan and finn have their big bi crisis and finn comes home that night all smiley and dopey and leo’s heart just shatters into a billion shards

he avoids finn all week, even going as far as to leave their apartment earlier to head to the rink, claiming that he wants to get a short workout in before trainings, when in reality he just cannot bear to sit in a car with finn and be in that close proximity to him, knowing that he can’t have him

after trainings he rushes off and spends all day roaming around gryffindor, either on his own or with whoever else is free to grab lunch together and just hang out

one day he goes back to the apartment earlier, knowing he’s being moody and ridiculous, and he resolves to cook a nice dinner (which hasn’t happened all week) and try to set things right with finn

stuck onto the fridge though, is a note telling him that he’s going to be out till late and leo’s stomach drops and his heart just squeezes tightly in his chest

before he realises it he’s crying, tears streaming down his face and he locks himself in his bedroom, refusing to do anything besides hide under his duvet as his heart breaks over and over again because he loves this boy so much but of course logan and him have had a long history together and they’re obviously head over heels for each other and leo honestly shouldn’t be that surprised and affected

and maybe he’s just disappointed because he thought he’d actually be able to be himself, and that he’d even be able to find love, because now he’s not the only queer player in the league that he knows of, but now that finn and logan are together he’s just alone, all over again and he wonders whether he’ll ever be able to be this comfortable around anyone else ever again and basically, he’s stuck in a downward spiral from there

he barely notices finn banging on his door at one point, softly at first and getting increasingly louder until he’s yelling his voice hoarse and pounding his fists on the door

finn notices that leo’s been acting weirdly around him ever since he came home that night after having sorted things out with logan

he knows leo saw it written on his face, he was always one to wear his heart on his sleeve. leo, on the other hand, as a goalie, knows how to hide his expressions well, and finn cannot for the life of him understand what has happened and why he’s been avoiding him like the plague

he initially assumes that leo’s just having a bad day or two, and that he needs some time alone and so he doesn’t think much about it

but when leo five more minutes knut religiously wakes up earlier three days in a row to hit the team gym before trainings, finn knows something is really wrong

he tries to catch leo after training that day but the blonde’s left by the time he’s out of the showers. he looks worriedly at logan and they head back to dumo’s later that afternoon to talk about it

very subtly, they ask dumo if they’ve noticed leo acting weirdly over the past few days and dumo being dumo, Knows What’s Up

he raises an eyebrow and tells them i don’t know, what do you think? and the two boys frown at each other, trying to figure out what dumo knows but they don’t

dumo just shakes his head and smiles sadly at the two clueless boys

over the next few days, finn tries to find opportunities to talk to leo but he somehow just knows when finn’s trying to catch him alone so he latches onto another team member, any team member, at any given moment, all the way until they leave the rink

finn gets increasingly upset, and he doesn’t know why his heart hurts so bad, why leo’s all he can think of the whole day, wondering what’s going on with him and wanting so desperately to hold him in his arms and make sure he’s alright, so he speaks to logan, who surprisingly, apparently feels the same way

they come to realise that they have both grown fond of baby leo over the past two years, ever since he joined the team and started hanging out with them

while shocking at first, because isn’t it completely weird and wrong to have feelings for two people at the same time? neither of them are willing to let go of this precious baby boy

they head back to dumo’s one afternoon after training when he offers to cook dinner for them and they’re like hey dumo, just a completely random, completely hypothetical question, is it normal for someone to like two people at once?

dumo has to bite back a smile as he turns away from the stove to look at the two boys perched on the tabletop, shoulder to shoulder and swinging their legs back and forth, trying and failing to look totally casual

he plays along though, giving them advice along the way as they bombard him with questions. he tells them about polyamory and he assures them that people in a polyamorous relationship are not wrong, and definitely not bad people for liking more than one person at one time

at one point, celeste comes in and she also tells them that maybe sometimes when it feels like something’s missing between a couple, like an incomplete puzzle, they’re just missing that one piece, that one person to fill in the final piece of the puzzle and that’s completely okay and suddenly it seems as though finn and logan have emerged from underwater; their heads are clear and it’s like something just clicks into place

they give the two boys a knowing look and continue cooking dinner, and they head down to logan’s basement right after dinner to have a long conversation about the boy they have come to know and care for

finn eventually heads back to the apartment, hoping he can get some time to speak to leo one on one

he’s beyond nervous, and he has a lot of scenarios playing out in his head on how their talk will go

but nothing prepares him for the locked door and quiet sobs from leo’s room

his heart starts racing and he’s starting to panic because leo almost never cries unless something really bad happens, but he forces himself to knock softly, hoping that leo will open the door

when he calls his name a few times and receives no response, just continued muffled crying and shuddering exhales, he starts knocking louder to a point where he’s basically pounding the door down

he shouts leo’s name over and over again, and he’s almost in tears himself now because did something terrible happen and is leo okay and is he safe in there? he doesn’t know, and he hates that he doesn’t know

he suddenly remembers he has leo’s room key and he scrambles to his room to grab the key, unlocking leo’s door and rushing over to the bed where he’s hidden under his duvet, curled up in a ball

he stops short at the side of the bed, not knowing what to do except stare at leo’s shaking frame beneath the duvet, who by now has gone almost completely silent

he sucks in a breath and crosses over to the opposite end of the bed, and hesitating for a moment, he climbs in, diving under the duvet to lie beside leo

he can barely make out his features and it’s so warm from leo’s body heat, but finn’s eyes adjust to the darkness a little bit and he can vaguely see blue irises and red-rimmed eyes, and his face is flushed and blotchy. his bottom lip has been bitten raw and he looks so upset and hurt that tears spring in finn’s eyes as they stare at each other, lying on their sides, close enough for their breaths to mingle but not close enough to be touching

leo’s eyes are weary but guarded, and when finn opens his mouth, presumably to ask if he’s okay, he turns around, burying his head in the crook of his elbow

finn’s heart is thrumming in his chest and he chews on his bottom lip, wondering if he should or shouldn’t

he decides to just go for it, and he scoots closer to leo, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him in so his back is flush to his chest

leo jerks, but finn’s arm tightens and he’s sure the taller boy can feel his heart thundering in his chest but he doesn’t care. tell me what’s wrong, he pleads, and leo stays silent for a few moments

leo feels sparks igniting all throughout his body the moment finn touches him and pulls him into his chest. his heart feels like it’s going to jump out of his throat, and he’s so confused, and scared, and does logan know this is happening??? oh god— he tries to pull away but finn’s not having any of it, his arm tightens around his waist and leo feels like he might spontaneously combust

tell me what’s wrong, finn murmurs, his breath tickling the back of leo’s shoulder and he closes his eyes, swallowing hard. he has an internal debate on whether to tell finn everything that he’s been feeling the past week, the past two years, or to just push him away and avoid him again

but with finn’s thumb rubbing soothingly on leo’s side, he realises he cannot hold his feelings in any longer. he doesn’t open his eyes as he pours his heart out to finn. once he starts talking, he cannot stop, everything coming out like word vomit as he tells him how he’s had a crush on him for about two years now, and that he always knew he and logan had something going on but he never wanted to pry or intrude, and that he knew the night they got together, because he had come home with the biggest smile leo has ever seen on him, and he had looked like he had truly seen and felt love coursing through his veins, clear as day and right as rain, and leo cannot help the tears flowing down his cheeks again as he tells finn that he’s all he ever wanted, that he’s the only person that can make him feel so himself, and that in a sport where queer players are so looked down upon, he doesn’t know if he can ever find another person like him to love

halfway through, he vaguely registers finn’s chest rising and falling faster, and he hears him sniffling, and they’re both crying hard as finn climbs on top of leo, pushing him to lie flat on his back as he straddles his hips. it all happens so slowly and so tenderly, yet so fast and so passionately; finn leans down, cupping his cheeks in his hands, and crushes their mouths together

their lips move in a slow but intense rhythm, like the rising and falling of the tide. he tastes their tears like the salty ocean and they’re both breathing hard and fast like they’re fighting to breathe against the raging currents. the bubbling feeling in his chest crescendos and crashes over him in waves, and his brain short circuits for a moment, until he breaks out of the water’s surface and he can finally think again 

he pushes finn away and scrambles away, terrified that he’s just ruined whatever they have. he slaps a hand to his mouth as he tries to regain his composure, and finn looks confused and hurt and suddenly leo finds his voice again. logan, is the one word he rasps out, in between sobs

he knows he’s fucked everything up, and he wants nothing more than to continue hiding under his duvet forever and never see finn or logan or anybody ever again, and the mere thought of it sends him into hysterics

until he feels a warm hand on his cheek, wiping his tears away and tugging gently at his wrist. please, finn whispers, i want to talk to you about something. leo blinks slowly, his vision clearing and finn’s face coming back into focus

finn smiles hesitantly as leo fixes his gaze on him, and he tells him about the past week, and how he’s been worrying himself sick, wondering if there was something that he did to make him close off like that, because not once in two years has he seen that happen, and he’s been feeling like a part of his heart has been ripped out of his chest, the way he’s been overthinking and trying to figure out what’s wrong, and leo sees and hears for the first time how much finn truly cares for him, and he lets himself hope, just a little bit

finn rambles on, pausing here and there as he tries to put in words the thoughts and feelings that have been swirling around within him, and how he and logan had come to a realisation that they both wanted him, really wanted him. leo’s holding his breath now, he dares not breathe for the fear that he’s going to wake up from a dream the moment he does

finn talks for a long time, explaining the basics of polyamory to him, whatever dumo and celeste told him and logan earlier that evening, and finn tells him about the missing piece of a puzzle that he and logan are trying to build together, and that he’s the missing piece they’ve been unknowingly searching for all this time

leo’s eyes grow wide and he finally opens his mouth. what does this mean for us? he asks softly, hoping that he’s thinking about the same thing that the other two boys are thinking, but at the same time not daring to let down his guard just yet

finn breaks into a genuine smile then, the corners of his eyes crinkling and his teeth biting down briefly on his bottom lip as his amber eyes blaze with a fire he’s never seen before

we want to be with you, he whispers as his hands find leo’s, lacing their fingers together. we want to spend time with you, and protect you. we want to share our lives with you. we want to love you. we want to be with you, if you’ll have us.

leo’s eyes flutter shut again as he’s overcome with emotion. he takes a few deep breaths and opens his eyes again to make sure he’s not just living a wild dream. when he looks into finn’s eyes and sees nothing but honesty and love, he chokes on a fresh wave of tears as he sucks his bottom lip between his teeth and nods, slowly at first, then faster, his face splitting into a wide grin, his dimples making an appearance after so long

finn laughs wetly as he pulls leo in for another kiss, and leo doesn’t fight it this time

the next time they have training together, leo is evidently much happier than the team has seen him in a while, and they’re all confused but immensely pleased, dumo in particular. he goes up to him at the end of training, when half the team has already left, and he ruffles his hair affectionately before pulling him into a fatherly hug. leo smiles bewilderedly at dumo, who just winks and skates away, humming quietly to himself

finn and logan, who are watching a few feet away, skate over once everyone else is gone, having headed back to the locker room to shower. they pull him in for a quick hug and start tugging him along to skate a few more laps around the rink to cool down, discussing lunch plans all the while, before they start making their way off the ice

just before they step off, logan taps finn on his butt as he always does after trainings, something that he’s done since their harvard days, but then he does the same to leo, giving him a smile and a wink, and leo can’t help but grin sappily all the way back to the locker rooms, feeling as though he can finally exhale after all this time