#a mean scary woman to victimize the men around her

[reel-fear]

While I won’t deny that misogyny definitely plays a role in it, I also feel like one of the reasons people tend to want to focus more on Blitzwing than on Blackarachnia in fanworks is the same reason people are so obsessed with the secret bosses in Deltarune: the overall mystery surrounding his character.

Blitzwing and Blackarachnia are both unique, one-of-a-kind models, so people are naturally going to have three questions running through their minds upon their debut: what happened to them, what led up to that point, and who they used to be beforehand.

However, despite Blitzwing making more appearances than her, there’s still so little we know about him in comparison with Blackarachnia, who basically has her entire backstory revealed to us in her first spotlight episode. Even the information we do get regarding his past raises more questions than it answers, and that information’s Schrödinger’s canon at best. Fans are naturally drawn towards mysteries, so of course they’re going to be more interested in making content exploring and trying to solve those mysteries rather than just restricting themselves to stuff they already know.

I feel like the writing team showed their cards too early with Blackarachnia and left people with much less of a mystery to play around with other than “is techno-organicness reversible” and “will she cure herself or accept herself for who she is”. I think that maybe if they had had her make more appearances and held off on revealing her backstory until much later, while maybe dropping subtle hints of her knowing Optimus and Sentinel from somewhere and having once been an Autobot, people would feel like they had much more to work with.

(Also, from what I’ve seen, most Blitzwing fans are well aware of the ableist portrayal of his character but are usually neurodivergent themselves and thus have reclaimed him in a sense, alongside portraying him in a much more accurate manner to real-life DID and OSDD in fan works while still acknowledging that he’s an alien robot whose processor is much different from a human brain and thus would logically not be a complete one-to-one regarding analogous disabilities and mental disorders.)

So, I have been admittedly sitting on this ask for while bc it's been hard to digest and fully think about the points being made here. I don't want to get defensive on an impulse so I wanted to kinda stew on it a bit and read it over and over to see how my thoughts change. But really my thoughts are the same as when I first saw it which is most of this? Really just reads as excuses for Blitzwing's popularity that distract from the real causes being sexism and fandom's bias towards conventally attractive characters.

I want to go through this point by point but the TDLR; almost everything said here is also true for other characters who are very much not as popular as Blitzwing usually bc of sexism or not being the kind of characters the fandom cares to pay attention to. Sure you could point out all the things Blitzwing has that BA doesnt and say 'those are the things that make him more popular' but that ignores all the things BA has that Blitzwing doesn't. [Motivation, a personality, complexities, story relevence, she's not a horrible potrayal of the mentally ill, narrative focus etc] That the fandom just pretends don't exist and barely awknowledge, you can't just shy away from the reality that Blitzwing massively benefits from the misogyny present in this fandom because he's ur fave and you like him. That's only being complicit in it and turning a blind eye to it. Sure you could project a lot onto a bland male character and say you like him but you should also keep in mind the female characters who are ACTUALLY complex and interesting characters you tossed to the side to focus on him. I get that you 'awknoledged' the misogny in the first bit of the ask, but when you follow that up with... That it really doesnt come accross as genuine.

Anyways I'm gonna disect this message and talk about why I simply do not buy it.

Firstly

"While I won’t deny that misogyny definitely plays a role in it, I also feel like one of the reasons people tend to want to focus more on Blitzwing than on Blackarachnia in fanworks is the same reason people are so obsessed with the secret bosses in Deltarune: the overall mystery surrounding his character.

Blitzwing and Blackarachnia are both unique, one-of-a-kind models, so people are naturally going to have three questions running through their minds upon their debut: what happened to them, what led up to that point, and who they used to be beforehand."

I'm going to be blunt, this is something SO many characters in TFA have going on. Lugnut is a great example of a character who has way more screentime than Blitzwing [remember Blitzwing disappears by S3 and is replaced by Shockwave as an evil minion but Lugnut stays] but is still almost entirely a mystery in terms of backstory motivation etc. But Lugnut is almost NEVER the center of fan content unless being made to be the butt of the joke and when he does appear hes usually just used as a tool to progress Blitzwing's character, someone to pressure him abt being in the cons, someone to be mean to him, etc.

But Lugnut is an entirely unique design with a helm look no other character has and claws that resemble the ones given to empurata bots in IDW. We don't even know why he hates the autobots so intensely but seeing how fucked up the autobots are in TFA why isn't there more theorizing about what exactly they did to make him need to see their downfall so badly? To the point where Lugnut is constantly at the feet praising someone who he doesn't even know would throw him to the side and leave him for dead the INSTANT it was convient for him.

You could say people don't explore it bc its played as a joke but so is everything about Blitzwing's character, esp his DID which is in increadibly poor taste. No, it's because Lugnut is fat and 'ugly', the fandom has no interest in him, same way they have so little interest in Bulkhead compared to other characters. He's just not hot enough to become the little sexyboy of the fandom. So he's tossed the side same way Bulkhead is. Not to mention characters like Arcee also have a ton of mystery surrounding them but they're women so...

"However, despite Blitzwing making more appearances than her, there’s still so little we know about him in comparison with Blackarachnia, who basically has her entire backstory revealed to us in her first spotlight episode. Even the information we do get regarding his past raises more questions than it answers, and that information’s Schrödinger’s canon at best. Fans are naturally drawn towards mysteries, so of course they’re going to be more interested in making content exploring and trying to solve those mysteries rather than just restricting themselves to stuff they already know.

I feel like the writing team showed their cards too early with Blackarachnia and left people with much less of a mystery to play around with other than “is techno-organicness reversible” and “will she cure herself or accept herself for who she is”. I think that maybe if they had had her make more appearances and held off on revealing her backstory until much later, while maybe dropping subtle hints of her knowing Optimus and Sentinel from somewhere and having once been an Autobot, people would feel like they had much more to work with."

Gonna be honest these paragraphs really piss me off LMAO, BA's mystery goes so much deeper than the two questions provided here such as the fact when trying to cure herself it's almost always potrayed as painful and life THREATENING! The mystery and tension of her character isn't' will she cure herself and can she?' its whether or not she will KILL HERSELF trying to cure her disability. Will she leave the cons? Will she grow to become a better person or keep spiralling down into evil? Fans are drawn to mystery sure but only when that mystery involves a sexy man, when it involved a woman character whose biggest mystery is whether or not her self loathing will kill her, its uninteresting and not worth their time, if they even bother to awknowledge it instead of just making her a scary villain/abuser for their male faves to be sad.

I also have to ask on this point too, fans tend to HEAVILY ignore any canon Blitzwing has either way, nobody awknowledges the bigotry towards organics/techno organics he displays, nor the levels of cruelty so why does canon even really matter in this discussion when as far as fanon is concerned it doesnt? It's excuses. It only matters now bc now people wanna justify the reason BA is a mean evil woman and Blitzwing is a sad puppy boy with so many complexities in fanon without facing the actual reason that is.

And while we're talking about things Blitzwing has that BA doesn't let's talk about all the things BA has that Blitzwing doesn't.

She's not a horrible potrayal of DID

She has complexities to her character beyond being an evil minon for the sake of being evil whose also 'the Crazy one'

She has narrative importance

She got told she should fucking die by one of her friends bc he hated her scarring so much.

She is shown to at least somewhat care for others when she spares Prowl and Bee despite not having gotten her part of the deal.

She has likely faced that sort of bigotry all the time and had to flee her home bc of it.

She has so much mystery behind how she joined the cons, why she joined the cons when they seem to show the same disgust to her as the autobots.

She's an interesting character.

I could go on but I'm not going to. F- on this point.

Now the last point which to me is the most BS

(Also, from what I’ve seen, most Blitzwing fans are well aware of the ableist portrayal of his character but are usually neurodivergent themselves and thus have reclaimed him in a sense, alongside portraying him in a much more accurate manner to real-life DID and OSDD in fan works while still acknowledging that he’s an alien robot whose processor is much different from a human brain and thus would logically not be a complete one-to-one regarding analogous disabilities and mental disorders.)

this is just not fucking true, 99% of content of Blitzwing I have seen either has people declaring him good rep [I have seen this several times] or is just talking about how sexy he is, its very very rare the horrible potrayal of his disability is awknowledged. Hell Blitzbee has such a deathgrip on the fandom and one of the nicknames Bee constantly uses in that content is BLITZBRAIN, literally making fun of his disability more. Not to mention how much of it is purposely making the scary disabled character scary on purpose. I'm not saying you cant enjoy or consume that content but you seriously have to be dumb to think the fandom is aware of or cares about this issue.

Also on the 'making him more accurate' I've never seen fanon do this truly and honestly. Where is the childhood truama? The awknowledgement that DID doesn't work the way Blitzwing shows it? I almost never see any fan content that wasn't just copying what TFA potrayed with him. Where are you finding this?

And lastly you can't just say youve 'Reclaimed' something and suddenly its okay, Hasbro knows how much this fandom loves TFA Blitzwing, you guys spend money on him you praise him you dont talk about how bad rep he is. If Hasbro rereleased TFA Blitzwing right now so many fans would flock to get him not even thinking about the fact THAT ENCOURAGES HASBRO TO THINK THAT THIS POTRAYAL OF THE MENTALLY ILL IS OKAY. This is just an excuse to consume content of Blitzwing uncritically to produce content of him uncritically! What about all the times DID swag polls esp ones involving good rep for them INCLUDED BLITZWING?? Did the runners of those who might not even know what TFA is say it was okay to send in a character who is clearly a mean spirited potrayal of them?? You can't just say Blitzwing is reclaimed and therefore its okay, you guys haven't even properly awknowledged all the things wrong with his character being a horrible potrayal of DID enough to get the sense to not fucking submit him into polls abt it. Let alone to produce half decent content of him.

Anyways thats it, I dont mean any of this aggression directly towards you anon, writing and posting a bad opinion on the internet does not justify harassment or hatred, but I dont feel a need to pull my punches when the fandom has been justifying this for so long, therefore. I didn't. I said what I thought of this message and if others agree then maybe I have a point.

Either way this is a discussion long Long overdue so Im putting this in the tags bc I think this fandom seriously needs a wake up call.

[onmyyan]

Romantic DC yan, my time to shine (platonic is cute but I can't find any romantic ones this days T_T)

I bring to you a cliche, a new villain who uses her riches and ruthlesness in her quest to get a magical artifact in order to make her dream come true.

The bats have to stop her! But what is this! SHE’S TOO CHARMING?! (in a villain mean way, like comenting on Nightwing's as while they fight, or kissing Red Hood over the cowl before pushing him off a building)

Dangerous Woman

A/n: fem reader, yandere themes, canon typical violence, ft Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim

You're new to the villainous scene in Gotham but already kicking up quite the storm, you follow your own rules, killing corrupt men across the city, setting human trafficking rings on fire after freeing the victims, your crimes caught the gaze of Bruce and in turn the rest of the batfamily.

He saw a certain mercy in your actions, a quality of compassion he was certain he could pull out of you if he just got his hands on you.

But you're a slippery one, your teleportation abilities made you incredibly difficult to catch, and you seemed to relish in his growing frustration.

"You ever get tired of losing?" You ask sitting on a bank counter, money both burnt and unburnt scattered the floor around you, he hated to admit it but he was undeniably attracted to you, the way your suit hugged your form like a second skin, those long legs splayed out like a feast, heeled feet swinging as you toyed with a stack of bills.

"(Y/n) (L/n)." He states gruffly, his imposing form blending into the shadows. Of course he knows your name, you laugh to yourself before hopping off the counter and sauntering over, "ooh so scary." You snicker, "Your crimes warrant a trip to Arkham..but I'm willing to offer you something else. Rehabilitation."

Your smirk doesn't falter, "You can't save me." This only fuels his burning desire to do just that, those simple words seal your fate, he would have you under his care wether you liked it or not.

Tim is the second to become aware of your tantalizing presence, Bruce asked him to pull up anything and everything he could find on you, he couldn't help but become intrigued by your mysterious nature, any time you were caught on camera you had this knowing, mischievous grin on your lips, it was addicting, he found himself tracing the outline of your lips as he compiles a file on you.

Jason comes across you on his own, running into you after you successfully rob a museum.

Red Hood stared at you a gun pointed in your direction, "Stand down gorgeous." His voice was altered by the mask he wore, he was the latest of the bats to try and get in your way, to try and stop you from your goals, but he'd fall, just like the rest of them.

"You're not gonna shoot me Red." You speak coyly, hands up in surrender, your black domino mask hiding your pretty (e/c) eyes, your lips, painted red curl into a smirk at the sight of his hand wavering.

"Shooting you in the leg won't kill you." He chimes not lowering the weapon, "Yeah but I get the feeling you're not too trigger happy tonight."

"You've no idea what I'm capable of." He sounds like he's trying to convince himself.

You take a calculated step forward your red bottom heels clicking against the concrete rooftop, "C'mon big boy, you know there are actual bad guys who require your attention out there?" Your voice was like melted butter flowing into his ears and setting a warmth in his belly. "Robbing Gotham museum seems pretty criminal to me." He lowered his gun, holstering the weapon, "Can't you just slap a girl on the wrists?" You ask with a tilt of your head, the stolen goods in a satchel on your hip, "You know I can't just let you walk away." He responds, you close the distance making him take a step back, he wanted to reach out and touch you, claim you, and the closer he got to you the harder it was to resist.

You managed to back him on the edge of the roof, your hands trailing up his toned chest, landing on his shoulders, your claws digging into the leather of his jacket, "Just..stay outta my way." You whisper letting the tension build, pressing your plump lips to his mask you feel him shudder, without wasting another second you push him off the building. He falls for you harder than the garbage can he hit.

Dick is the next to come across you and the next to fall, and fuck does he fall hard.

He's got you corned in a dusty warehouse but damn if you aren't quick, darting around in him in blinks, teasingly touching him as you dance around, teasing him with every brush of your clawed fingers.

He's brought out of his inappropriate thoughts by a whistle from your pretty lips, "You're in that spandex boy!- nice ass." He feels himself flush, freezing on the spot as he sputtered for a response. You use his distracted moment to send a roundhouse kick to his head, one he just barely managed to block, "Don't lose focus now pretty." You chide smacking your teeth. Of course you manage to escape, which only fuels his budding obsession.

The trouble starts for you when they start working together, it's after a meeting Bruce calls one night, your file pulled up on the screen, they all have various reactions but one common thread is shared between the four men, burning desire.

Once they start coordinating it's only a matter of time before you come home, where they can tame you.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

would you like to tell us about your research on virginity?

but also...wdym STIs aren't as scary as we think??? I was told most of them are incurable? I know you can make aids untrasmittable and that they've even succeded in curing it a couple times but that's about it. I would love to be educated about this

yeah, the basic idea with the virginity project was that the whole concept of virginity is pretty bullshit in the context in which it was initially significant, namely cisgender women being penetrated by cisgender men, so as soon as you take it outside of that context by introducing gay and trans sexuality it totally falls apart. I mean, hell, it stops working if you even look at two cishet people doing literally anything OTHER than penis-in-vagina sex. I tripped up so many people initially when I started asking questions like "okay, so you don't think a woman loses her virginity from a man going down on her. so what if it's two women? what's the difference?" and just really getting people to face down their very penis-centered view of the sex, to the result of several people telling me that it kind of made them reevaluate what they actually think of as the first time they had sex. it's also fascinating to either read other people's accounts or discuss firsthand how queer people have either tried to make themselves fit into the binary of virginity - queer man disagreeing over whether or not you have to have penetrative anal sex to lose your virginity or oral sex is sufficient, a fascinating case of a lesbian who felt that have sex with other cis women didn't "count" and asked a cis male friend to have sex with her just so she could feel satisfied that she'd lost her virginity - or abandon it entirely. Hanne Blank's book Virgin was a formative starting point, and it really exploded for me from there.

as for the STIs - hey, bad news! you fell victim to the scare tactics used to make people afraid of sex! almost all sexually transmitted infections are very easy to treat and cure with the right medicine, which is why it's important to get tested regularly and check in with your healthcare provider at the first sign of something amiss. pubic lice, scabies, trichomoniasis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis - all of those are pretty easy to get rid of with some help from your doctor and a run to the pharmacy!

the major exceptions are the 4 H's: herpes, HIV, HPV, and hepatitis B.

herpes is with you forever but is an incredibly mild companion to share your body with, considering most people never experience any notable symptoms and those who do can curb the severity with medicine.

it's also worth noting that herpes is so common as to be virtually ubiquitous; the World Health Organization consistently estimates that somewhere around 80% of the world's adult population is carrying herpes simplex virus 1 or herpes simplex virus 2. a great deal of those people don't even get it from having sex, but rather by catching HSV-1 from a parent or other people they come is close contact with as a child.

you're actually thinking of HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) when you mention AIDS becoming untransmittable, but that's still a very good thing! the care available for people with HIV has come incredibly far since AIDS first became known and claimed so many lives, and today it's more than possible for people infected with HIV to live long, healthy lives by taking the proper medication to manage their viral load.

with management, people with HIV will not develop AIDS (which happens when the immune system is sufficiently depleted by HIV) and by consistently taking their medication people with HIV can become undetectable (the viral load in their body is too small to be detected or measured in tests), at which point they are unable to transmit the virus to other people.

HPV (human paillomavirus) comes in many different strains, most of which are absolutely harmless and go away on their own after a couple of months or years of freeloading in your body. I cannot emphasize this enough: HPV is so common that virtually everyone who has sex has, will have, or has had it in their lives, and the vast, VAST majority of those people will never be troubled by it literally at all.

the trouble comes from a few strains of HPV that can cause genital warts, and a few others that can cause cancers in the throat, anus, cervix, vulva, vagina, and penis. while HPV can't be treated, you can reduce your risk of developing cancer by getting the HPV vaccine if you haven't already and, if you have a cervix, getting regular Pap smears to catch early warning signs of cancerous developments.

hepatitis B is a viral infection that targets the liver. in rare cases it can cause chronic health problems that can be very dangerous, but I have to emphasize that's not common. in most adults who get hep B, there will be no symptoms and it will resolve itself in a matter of weeks. the infection is riskiest in children, but at least in America most people have received vaccines against hepatitis B as babies since the 90s.

in conclusion: get your shots, take your medicine, use protection, get tested, and talk to your doctor, but know that if there's one thing humans are good at it's figuring out how to manage STIs. we've been doing it for a long time - most sexually transmitted infections and parasites have been with us since before we we became modern humans - so we're really good at it!

[transman-badass]

Can you tell us more about the queer superhero Persephone retelling?

The ramblings. Hand them over.

Okay so there's one thing that's always bothered me about the various takes on the myth of Demeter, Hades and Persephone: none of them take any interest in how the actual ancient Greeks viewed Persephone. Which is a shame because they were fucking terrified of her.

I'm serious. Persephone was named the Iron Queen. She commanded the scary things in the Underworld, and if you pissed her off, she would send them after you. I've got this book [Penguin Book of Hell, iirc] that includes translations from some various myths, and the heroes of old freaked the hell out at the idea of her getting angry at them. She doesn't show up in half of these but the mere mention of her makes these strong men, ancient heroes, sweat bullets and run.

There's so much emphasis on Persephone as a victim. Whether it's a romantic telling or a story of an angry mother, Persephone doesn't have as much agency as she seems to in a lot of these stories. Which I understand - a helpless young woman in danger has been a compelling story for a long time.

But Persephone isn't a helpless victim - she is a victim but not helpless by any means. Whether by choice or through simple need to survive in her unfortunate situation, she became an absolute badass. And that's the story I want to tell, because there's so much potential in that. What are her motives? What is her reasoning? How did she become so feared? What does her story say about the ancient Greeks, how they viewed women, and death, in their society- and what does her story say about us in the present?

There's so much potential it makes me shake a little.

Now I know there's no sources on this post but that's because I need to take my meds. Let me dig around a little and I'll see what I can find to prove my thesis here. I'll make a post about the actual story I'm thinking of in a bit and link it here if anyone reblogs this

[tchaikovskaya]

can you explain whats going on w wnba/caitlin clark effect? I don't follow sports and I'm not American but I am nosy

lol i adore this message actually. yes im happy to explain. but im terrible at keeping it brief so get ready lmao: (tldr at the end)

caitlin clark is a women's basketball player who played in college for the university of iowa. she graduated back in may and this is her first season in the WNBA. a few months ago, during her senior season at iowa, she broke the all-time record for points scored in her college career, for both men's and women's basketball. she's very talented, she makes these crazy 3-point shots (idk how much surface knowledge you have of basketball so i dont wanna sound condescending by overexplaining stuff but yeah a regular basket is worth 2 points and if you shoot from beyond the big semi circle drawn on the court around the hoop, that's worth 3 points bc it's much farther away).

last year, in april 2023, the university of iowa made it all the way to the finals of the national championship tournament. they played against LSU, who ended up winning by a huge margin. caitlin clark was (and is) a bit of a trash talker, like taunting the players on the opposing team during a game etc. and thats fine, it's part of the sport, it comes with the territory of being a fierce competitor. but when LSU won, the star of LSU's team, Angel Reese, went up to Caitlin before the game was officially over (like the game clock was still running and the players were still on the court) and did this little hand wave gesture that caitlin had done to one of Angel's teammates. basically rubbing her face in the fact that they ended up winning and they beat caitlin and her team. VIDEO to clarify lol idk how much sense that made.

okay thats the backstory, so NOW the shitstorm starts.

there was a TON of media attention given to that one moment. it broke into mainstream news media, not just basketball fans or even sports fans in general. Angel Reese is a black woman from Baltimore, Maryland (which has a reputation for being very poor and there being a lot of gang violence and crime, etc). Caitlin Clark is a white woman from Iowa. People made that moment into a huge Thing, saying Angel is classless, she's a violent thug, she's arrogant and rude, basically everything negative you can say about a black person without outright calling them a slur but everyone knows what you really mean. By contrast, Caitlin was made into this poor fragile victim in the situation. just an innocent white Midwestern girl being picked on by this big mean scary """Thug""" (wink wink). naturally, the reactionary far right made this a huge thing of identity politics and culture war. "Caitlin is a Victim who did nothing wrong and everyone hates her because she's white in a black-dominated sport and she's more talented than them and they just can't handle it." that kind of shit.

so the next year is both caitlin's and angel's senior year. caitlin broke several scoring records during that season (good for her, she's talented) and women's college basketball was getting more attention than ever, thanks in large part to the publicity boost the whole Angel vs Caitlin encounter got. they didn't play each other, since Louisiana and Iowa are in different regions of the country they really were only going to meet in the national championship tournament. and they did, in the semifinal round. Iowa won. everyone framed it as Caitlin's Revenge, of course. Right wing bigots, who have practically made Caitlin their mascot for white supremacy in sports at this point, had a field day with that and said some of the most vile racist and sexist shit possible. Hardly surprising but still very upsetting to watch.

a couple months ago, Angel and Caitlin both joined the WNBA. the way the draft works is that, to keep the league mostly balanced and competitive (so theres not one team with every star player and every other team has nobody and sucks ass lol), the lowest ranked teams from the previous season get the first choice of new players. naturally, caitlin was the first one to be picked lol. the media attention focused on her in college has followed her to the WNBA, but she has not been nearly as successful there. she was kind of a big fish in a small pond in college, and now she's been plopped into the ocean. her fame is way out of proportion with her actual athletic performance in her first few weeks of professional play. also, professional basketball is a lot more physically aggressive and rough than college basketball, and Caitlin is getting roughed up by the other teams' players regularly. this happens to every rookie, it's not new and it's also not personal. but the brigade of weird ass right wing losers who have made her their Aryan Princess has insisted that the other players are targeting her on purpose because they want to humble her and they're jealous of her talent and fame and they're being unnecessarily violent (again with the racist dogwhistles) and they have a vendetta against caitlin.

anyway tl;dr

the "caitlin clark effect" is basically like. this huge surge in attention that womens basketball has gotten, and CC is given ALL of the credit for it, despite the sport having been steadily growing for years now. thousands of people come to games, millions tune in to the games on TV, etc. but...... it's only for games caitlin's team (the Indiana Fever) is playing. yeah the attention has brought new fans in who otherwise wouldnt notice womens basketball or care about it at all, but for the most part the new fans are not basketball fans, they are caitlin clark fans.

This post is an example of how weird it all is and how the fans act.

and now the newest controversy is that she wasn't named to the US olympic team, despite her being huge for TV ratings and public hype/attention for women's basketball. the reality is that she simply was not good enough to be a better asset to the team than any of the 12 women who were selected. and this USA team is one of the best teams ever put together. it's not a popularity contest, it's not about TV ratings or ticket sales, it's about winning. but instead, her not being picked is being called a "snub" and has added fuel to the "poor caitlin everyone is so jealous of how much of a star she is and they're retaliating against her for it!" narrative.

her popularity and fame are propelled by some very dark political currents, and it has become part of this huge american cultural split that right wing extremists are making from mainstream society. she's Special because she's talented in a sport that's been historically dominated (or, lets be real, built) by black women, and there's the angle of gender non-conformity there too (female athletes regardless of orientation are already seen as like "butch lite" and need to be super feminine to compensate) and homophobia (lots of lesbians in basketball lol) and she's seen as this figure who is [nobly] disrupting the status quo of that subculture.

[purplink8]

I decided that Light is most likely a sociopath

First of all, this is due to how easily he started using the Death Note like he did without Ryuk even showing up. By "like he did" I mean with intent to kill.

I'd get if someone made a mistake by using the Death Note as a diary or something because they couldn't read English. I'd get if they used the Death Note with intent after a Shinigami showed up.

It's how quick Light started going with intent that makes me lean that way.

Also, but we have to remember two important facts about sociopaths to explain Light shown in episode 1 and most of the series vs. when Light lost the Death Note: 1) sociopaths have less overall empathy then a "normal" person, and 2) sociopaths (similar to psychopaths) often manipulate people to get what they want.

Think about it like this - a psychopath or sociopath often has to act "normal" around his or her peers to keep a decent reputation (note: this is also true for some other people with other certain issues but less common). Unlike psychopaths, sociopaths actually having some empathy can make it easier to do this as they can try to look at things from someone else's POV.

We actually see this in action multiple times throughout Death Note. However, I'm going to go for two early examples - 1) how Light is often a chick magnet in college and even dates multiple girls at one time (in fact, Misa mentions how she won against a few of them by name by to live in an apartment with Light in the manga series); and 2) how Light tries to befriend L while hiding his actual motives while in college.

Light and L are both trying to manipulate each other, but they do things in common that could be considered as male bonding as friends/peers, like their tennis match or when they hang out at school for the most part. Sure, Light is still a serious guy, but he at least tries to seem friendly to L. It's just more difficult for him with L because of L's issues (like his autism, which is at high level, but makes him harder to read overall for "normal" people and/or for Light because of how L shows his emotions).

As a woman, I can confirm that it's difficult for most men to do more then two-timing or having a basic affair, (not that I was a victim of this - I gave advice on how to revenge on a three-timing guy once that deserved it - none of the actions were illegal, but they certain to make that guy's life horrible for 6 months. He tried to take revenge on all three girls for breaking up with him despite he was told got what he deserved having all three of them break up with him).

This is because you have to make a lady feel like she's special to you, do some things she finds nice, actually understand her base personality and/or likes and dislikes, and you also often can't let her know about the fact you're cheating on her or she will dump you like a bag of trash, minimum. Based off responses of Light's dating record from the manga, we can assume he was at a minimum of dating 3-4 girls, not including Misa while he was in college, and dated at least 2 (not including Misa) at the same time. That's pretty impressive for any man to be able to do successfully. And if you look later in the series, he even manages his real relationship type with Misa to his advantage to get Takada to assist him later in the series despite her also being one of his ex-girlfriends.

Also, if Light was a psychopath, I'd expect that Saya (his younger sister) would act a lot differently in general (especially around him). This is because either: 1) Sayu also could have gotten the psychopath genetics (the less likely option yet more scary one, she might volunteer to help out her big bro in that case if she found out he was Kira) but which would make her behavior at least a lot colder to both her parents the entire time; and/or 2) make Sayu generally a mess before her kidnapping anyway - there's pretty no reason that if Light was both a psychopath as well as being Kira, that he wouldn't at least abuse her sometimes due to stress.

Just saying, psychopaths have an unfortunate tendency to not value their family members. And I don't just mean by abusing them - they also sometimes mental torture them and/or kill them off later.

Karla Homolka is a good basic example of the messed-up level of what an actual psychopath can do to their younger siblings. She's a great example on why I say female psychopaths are a lot worse then the male psychopaths.

Due to all these points, I'm pretty sure Light goes into the sociopath category. Yes, Light has a well off living situation, but we can assume that his father may unintentionally neglected his kids to some degrees at certain points due to his work (Japan can have people work up to 16 hours a day rather then typical American maximum of a 9-hour shift, and Light's dad does seem pretty high in the NPA). Also, Light has helped solved previous cases before the Kira case, which could have not just twisted his sense of justice but could have made him less likely to have remorse towards certain types of people (aka criminals). We don't know what sort of cases these were either and depending on Light's age and the case type, it could made his outlook on the world and life generally terrible (what he had to help solve a case like a kid being killed by their parent for insurance money, as an example. That might make your faith in the "goodness of humanity" pretty much dead depending on your age and situation).

And considering how extreme Japan can be about having high marks, we can assume Light (generally being as smart as he is) might have had neglect parts of his own life overall (he gave up Tennis as an example of this), and been socially isolated from most other people at points throughout his life, which would increase the overall likelihood for various issues that could include sociopathy.

Let me start off by saying that I do not agree with your opinion at all. No offence but I'm very strongly against the idea that Light's actions are due to some inherent mental illness. The argument I see from people from the opposite camp usually boil down into:

Light is Evil and Manipulative.

Sociopaths/Psychopaths are also evil and manipulative.

Therefore, Light = Sociopath/Psychopath.

To me personally, this seems incredibly ableist and perpetuates and/or is indicative of harmful misconceptions about mental illnesses/personality disorders. While I don't know much about psychology myself by any means, I can say one thing pretty confidently:

People can be evil/cruel without having a personality disorder.

I also believe that treating mental illnesses as a personality type kinda hat to put onto characters (like we do with MBTI (pseudoscience but ultimately harmless)) is not cool (especially if we're blaming the evil actions of a character on the presumed mental illness they might have). I would suggest you to check this wonderful post out!

Okay now that I have established my personal beliefs, let's move on to your ask.

I decided that Light is most likely a sociopath First of all, this is due to how easily he started using the Death Note like he did without Ryuk even showing up. By "like he did" I mean with intent to kill. I'd get if someone made a mistake by using the Death Note as a diary or something because they couldn't read English. I'd get if they used the Death Note with intent after a Shinigami showed up. It's how quick Light started going with intent that makes me lean that way.

I'm guessing you're going by the anime which is quite different from the manga (I prefer the latter and will answer this ask by analyzing the manga).

Light does not use the Note with the intent to kill.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

He thinks it's a prank. He doesn't believe it'll work. And Light says this himself:

"Of course, I didn't believe it at first..." Exactly. He tries it out anyway since he was curious (remember teenagers do all sorts of crazy stuff like 'Bloody Mary' or whatever believing that it won't happen for real).

Exhibit C:

The fact that Light is weighing in his mind for who to kill and ending up with criminals is because he thinks a lot (Again he says it himself, "Geez, I'm getting too serious about this...") and because of his father's strict moral values.

He is very ready to write a name and when the Note inevitably does Not work (this is his expectation), he'll completely dismiss it. He tries it out because his curiosity got the better of him. That's it. I don't think he'd be making this shocked face if he intended the criminal to die from the very beginning:

This is not the face of someone who expected/intended to kill another person. (I'd also recommend checking out this post and this one which make some excellent points re: why Light killed a lot of people afterwards without armchair diagnosing him with any mental illness).

Apologies but I can't understand the rest of your ask properly- let me try to make some sense of it.

Also, but we have to remember two important facts about sociopaths to explain Light shown in episode 1 and most of the series vs. when Light lost the Death Note: 1) sociopaths have less overall empathy then a "normal" person, and 2) sociopaths (similar to psychopaths) often manipulate people to get what they want. Think about it like this - a psychopath or sociopath often has to act "normal" around his or her peers to keep a decent reputation (note: this is also true for some other people with other certain issues but less common). Unlike psychopaths, sociopaths actually having some empathy can make it easier to do this as they can try to look at things from someone else's POV. We actually see this in action multiple times throughout Death Note. However, I'm going to go for two early examples - 1) how Light is often a chick magnet in college and even dates multiple girls at one time (in fact, Misa mentions how she won against a few of them by name by to live in an apartment with Light in the manga series); and 2) how Light tries to befriend L while hiding his actual motives while in college.

I agree that sociopaths usually have less empathy than people who don't have ASPD. But, to be clear, that does not make a person more likely to be evil, y'know? Empathy does not equal Compassion. People with less empathy (with ASPD or not) aren't any less of a good person based solely on that lack. The converse is also true: People with a considerable amount of empathy (again with ASPD or not) aren't necessarily a good person. Their actions will be the judge of that- a person who knowingly hurts others should be deemed bad due to those actions, rather than judging them based on their empathy or lack thereof.

The examples you underlined, re: Light dating multiple girls at a time & trying to befriend L while hiding his actual motives, do not hold water for your argument that those are coz of Light's sociopathy imo. Light does the former to throw suspicion away from him (as dating only Misa who's the second Kira is pretty damning) and the latter to survive as Kira (remember how L threatens to dispose of Kira on live TV, i.e., he would've executed Light after he caught him). I cannot think of any reason why it might be because Light has ASPD.

He did it because he's Kira and he might as well be dead if he was found out to be guilty. Forgive me but I cannot get the reason why you insist on Light being a sociopath.

As a woman, I can confirm that it's difficult for most men to do more then two-timing or having a basic affair, (not that I was a victim of this - I gave advice on how to revenge on a three-timing guy once that deserved it - none of the actions were illegal, but they certain to make that guy's life horrible for 6 months. He tried to take revenge on all three girls for breaking up with him despite he was told got what he deserved having all three of them break up with him). This is because you have to make a lady feel like she's special to you, do some things she finds nice, actually understand her base personality and/or likes and dislikes, and you also often can't let her know about the fact you're cheating on her or she will dump you like a bag of trash, minimum. Based off responses of Light's dating record from the manga, we can assume he was at a minimum of dating 3-4 girls, not including Misa while he was in college, and dated at least 2 (not including Misa) at the same time. That's pretty impressive for any man to be able to do successfully. And if you look later in the series, he even manages his real relationship type with Misa to his advantage to get Takada to assist him later in the series despite her also being one of his ex-girlfriends.

>As a woman, I can confirm that it's difficult for most men to do more then two-timing or having a basic affair<

I would say that it is pretty easy actually. I don't think one should generalize the behavior of an entire group of people just because of a few personal experiences.

>This is because you have to make a lady feel like she's special to you, do some things she finds nice, actually understand her base personality and/or likes and dislikes, and you also often can't let her know about the fact you're cheating on her or she will dump you like a bag of trash, minimum.<

That is the general expectation in a consensual monogamous relationship though? It isn't limited to women only- it applies to all genders.

>Based off responses of Light's dating record from the manga, we can assume he was at a minimum of dating 3-4 girls, not including Misa while he was in college, and dated at least 2 (not including Misa) at the same time.<

Yes, you are correct there.

>That's pretty impressive for any man to be able to do successfully. And if you look later in the series, he even manages his real relationship type with Misa to his advantage to get Takada to assist him later in the series despite her also being one of his ex-girlfriends.<

Why am I reading this in Matsuda's voice lol

Also, if Light was a psychopath, I'd expect that Saya (his younger sister) would act a lot differently in general (especially around him). This is because either: 1) Sayu also could have gotten the psychopath genetics (the less likely option yet more scary one, she might volunteer to help out her big bro in that case if she found out he was Kira) but which would make her behavior at least a lot colder to both her parents the entire time; and/or 2) make Sayu generally a mess before her kidnapping anyway - there's pretty no reason that if Light was both a psychopath as well as being Kira, that he wouldn't at least abuse her sometimes due to stress.

I'm sorry, what?? To say this took a wild turn would be an understatement. Genetics do play a role in certain mental illnesses but I doubt there are genetics that directly influence someone to be a psychopath? Again, my knowledge of psychology is limited but still. Also canon!Light would never abuse Sayu?

Just saying, psychopaths have an unfortunate tendency to not value their family members. And I don't just mean by abusing them - they also sometimes mental torture them and/or kill them off later.

That is not Light in canon though. And I'm sensing a lot of stigma against psychopaths from you?

Karla Homolka is a good basic example of the messed-up level of what an actual psychopath can do to their younger siblings. She's a great example on why I say female psychopaths are a lot worse then the male psychopaths.

Again, one should not generalize these things.

Due to all these points, I'm pretty sure Light goes into the sociopath category. Yes, Light has a well off living situation, but we can assume that his father may unintentionally neglected his kids to some degrees at certain points due to his work (Japan can have people work up to 16 hours a day rather then typical American maximum of a 9-hour shift, and Light's dad does seem pretty high in the NPA). Also, Light has helped solved previous cases before the Kira case, which could have not just twisted his sense of justice but could have made him less likely to have remorse towards certain types of people (aka criminals). We don't know what sort of cases these were either and depending on Light's age and the case type, it could made his outlook on the world and life generally terrible (what he had to help solve a case like a kid being killed by their parent for insurance money, as an example. That might make your faith in the "goodness of humanity" pretty much dead depending on your age and situation).

I can see Soichiro unintentionally neglecting his children due to his work, yes. And I agree Light has a skewed black & white sense of morality. Yeah, he does think the world is rotten. But these points in no way prove that he is a sociopath.

And considering how extreme Japan can be about having high marks, we can assume Light (generally being as smart as he is) might have had neglect parts of his own life overall (he gave up Tennis as an example of this), and been socially isolated from most other people at points throughout his life, which would increase the overall likelihood for various issues that could include sociopathy.

That still doesn't prove Light having ASPD, I'm afraid.

I'll also like to make one thing extremely clear, I don't think discussing mental illnesses (with me at least) like this is fair since I believe that armchair diagnosing the characters who one thinks is evil with stigmatized mental illnesses is NOT cool as it reinforces that stigma which is harmful in real life.

[22degreehalo]

[Okay so this started as a reblogged addition to this previous post of mine but then it got long enough to stand alone sooooo]

Okay actually to narrow this down a bit, there's something incredibly fascinating about the way that despite Ashley being the driving force behind most of the story, it's almost always Andrew who actually commits the physical act of hurting someone.

Because, yes, despite what I said above, that particular aspect of their dynamic is deeply gendered: 'bad women' are usually the ones who manipulate and connive rather than get their hands dirty directly (with the unintended side effect that we tend to not take it seriously when women DO take physical action, because it just doesn't feel as 'real' or 'bad' as when men do it), while physical aggression is limited to men.

But there's so much more to it. There's the way Andrew feels a need to protect Ashley, which takes from the way he was parentified by his mother into having to take care of her as an authority and guardian rather than just another kid in his own right. The fact that Ashley really did need someone to protect her, because... she was kind of badly lacking in social skills and emotional regulation, to the point of exhibiting sadistic tendencies even from a young age. (Or, I suppose I should say, sadistic tendencies that she never grew out of, due to lacking the normal emotional development that sees young kids develop that kind of conscience?) All of which made her, realistically, pretty darn unpopular!!!

But also... that is a manipulation tactic. It's one of the classic signs of a cult: pressure/coerce a member to engage in some kind of morally reprehensible action, and once that's happened, it becomes far far harder for them to get out. Partially because they've now badly severed any other outside support systems; Renee knew what happened with Nina, and even if she had more hope for Andrew than she ever did Ashley even after that, it clearly framed how she saw those two and their relationship after that point. And, y'know, there's the fact that Andrew is seriously worried that they'll be thrown in jail, which means that he can't tell anyone else what happened, or even let them realise 'how bad' Ashley is, or they might start remembering that missing girl Ashley always used to hang out with...

But also partially because it complicates any internal sense of being a victim of another person's abuse. How can you act like you're some sweet little innocent baby, pushed around by the big old scary abuser, when you yourself have blood on your hands? (Part of why I find it a bit... unsettling? How many people in the TCOAAL fandom sincerely spread that his relenting to Ashley's manipulation makes him 'just as bad'.) It creates an internal sense of guilt and 'need' to be punished, or to be controlled by somebody who can make the 'right decisions'. And it furthers a sense that there's 'no going back' - that there's no point in even trying to escape this relationship, because it's gone too far, and the victim has already given up any hope of having or deserving a life outside of it.

And that's related to something I've had bouncing around in my mind for a lonnnnng time, but still even now don't have the brainspace to fully unpack it. People talk a lot about the inherent trauma of being a woman living under the patriarchy, but I think we don't discuss enough the inherent moral damage of being a man under the same circumstances.

Men are raised to see themselves as aggressive; hostile; killers; predators. They're taught that any sex they get from women is at her expense, a deal that can only be made good by their being Successful Enough to 'earn' it. That success, of course, is zero-sum; men must prove themselves over other men competitively to 'win', whether by earning more money, being more dominant, or (in attemptively progressive spaces) by being 'nicer' or 'better feminists' than other men. Men are expected to sacrifice; to war, to defending the women in their life, to working themselves to the bone under capitalism where women are 'supposed' to rely on men, instead. And that 'protecting' inherently implies violence against other men: men are expected by default to be able to throw themselves into the fray and get beat up and beat up somebody else in turn, and if they can't, they're viewed as lesser; pathetic and selfish. Men aren't given any support system to NOT be capable of inflicting violence. No matter how pacifist or anxious or disabled they are, they are in and of themselves viewed as 'acceptable targets' of violence, due to a perceived inherent ability to enact violence themselves.

Of course Andrew is the one to pull the trigger most of the time. Of course he takes it on as rote, as just his expected part in their messed-up relationship. Of course Ashley gladly lets him, even when she's the one who really wants to see the victim hurting. Of course Ashley encourages him into it, making him part of her decisions, binding him to her in blood over and over again, and of course she then throws it in his face as him 'choosing her', because what can he plausibly say to argue against that? And, then, of course his 'decay' involves turning his violence against both Ashley and himself, because he's too far gone to turn back now and become the monster Ashley was trying to turn him into.

AGAIN, I don't mean this as anti-Ashley; I think this is a super insightful display of both gender and abuser dynamics, and as I've said above, there are a whole heck of a lot of reasons why Ashley is the way she is. Also, fucked up and unjustifiably bad female characters are good sometimes!!

Just. Ashley does, canonically, encourage Andrew to engage in acts that his conscience rails against - actions that fill him with guilt and emotional pain - and then uses all of that to tie him to her ever stronger so he'll never leave. It says a lot that she gets so nervous when Andrew stops acting so guilty in the Burial route; because if she can't throw that moral damage back at him, how is she supposed to make sure he doesn't leave? If he's happy and well-adjusted and believes he deserves a decent life, why would he ever willingly stay with her?! (So she thinks.)(Not that she's entirely wrong, but.) She doesn't trust healthy relationship dynamics; she trusts guilt and trauma bonding.

(And it also means something hella big that Andrew seemingly doesn't get quite so many of those guilt-ridden nightmares as he pretends. Is he trying to pretend to himself he hasn't already slipped so far? Does he crave Ashley's loving reassurance just as much as she wants him to need it? It's like... speaking of intricate rituals, holy hell if this isn't fucking one of them: getting messed up in the head over committing cannibalism and murder, but then continuing to pretend that it's messing you up long after you're sorta getting over it, because that's the safest and easiest way to make your sister happy and nice to you.)

[scaryspears]

Baby Reindeer Review + Rant

So I watched Baby Reindeer. I'm going to be honest, I wasn't interested at first, but it gained a lot of attention by Tiktokers. I don't have my own Netflix account, so when my mum travelled and I had access to her TV, I took a chance while I could. 7 episodes, 20-30 minutes each. 

I feel like the suspense was ruined since I knew it was a stalker situation, but I guess I was patient enough to see what would happen. I heard people talking about how Martha was scary, or how they found Baby Reindeer to be a horror, and I must admit that it wasn't the same case for me. When I think of horror I think of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, or Ichi the Killer. If we're going to argue about realistic situations when I'm going to throw in Audition 1999, a film about a man ignoring red flags and suffering the consequences of chasing after a woman he had no business chasing. Perhaps I have tainted my mind of so many disgusting images that I didn't register that I was watching a horror.

Speaking of ignoring red flags, I understood that Donnie was a victim, and I understand that trauma can affect how a person views the world and how they may navigate certain situations. I know Richard Gadd was sort of confronting himself when retelling that story, and how it's to investigate his psychology. But I also understood that he was an idiot.

A part of me genuinely thought his gender had something to do with it. How men will see a situation vs how women will see a situation. The Man vs Bear situation influenced that thought process of mine. But the episode that opens up about him being groomed and taken advantage of cancelled that out. Maybe he kept underestimating Martha because he sees a poor little woman who needs help.

Martha is a dangerous person, yet he entertained her, sort of. It was clear that he wanted to set boundaries, but didn't know how to, especially if her feelings were going to be hurt. Somehow Martha found her way around it, and when he did set a boundary for sure she started lashing out. She became worse, and yet somehow he was still able to hold sympathy for her. I think that sympathy is forgiveness, but not the kind that demands you to run with caution, the kind that convinces you to give one more chance.

One act of kindness was punished. Is punished. While I can relate, a vengeful part of me scolds him instead. Martha attacked Teri. I hated how Martha was made out to be someone to sympathise with. She threatened and hurt people, and is shown to be a bit of a racist and maybe a homophone, meaning she's an overall unpleasant person. I don't care if she has mental health problems, that doesn't make her innocent or someone I should sympathise with. Do you know what's also mental health? A 36 year old man stabbing a 14 year old boy to death in Hainault. That actually happened.

As soon as a mentally unwell individual starts harming people it's wraps. Donnie contacted the police, but didn't tell the police about Teri. He went along with his dead-end-job coworkers about not reporting what Martha did at the bar to the police because it would be bad for business. The same coworkers who looked through his email and sent that inappropriate message to Martha, making things worse for Donnie. He willingly associated himself with bad people, and willingly put himself through sticky situations. Also, faking who he is on a dating app? Scary. Yes, Donnie is a victim, but he's a massive idiot. Like people who continue to let others suck the life out of them even though they know they shouldn't. Dogs returning to vomit.

I didn't psychoanalyse him while watching the show, but now that I think about his actions, he's just as bad a person. Yes, he told off Martha after she attacked Teri, but it shouldn't have ever gotten that far in the first place. Richard Gadd was honest about not being a 'woe is me' character, and how his younger self made many dumb decisions. I also know that info on stalking was quite limited at the time, such as the fact that giving them attention makes things worse. Donnie saw her at the bus stop, spacing out, and instead of leaving her there to suffer he got her home. But even that act of kindness, Martha still contacted his family to send threats. She didn't stop being a horrible person. No good deed goes unpunished with people like this. No matter what way it is framed, Martha is not a poor little misunderstood creature, she's a monster.

Conclusion: Baby Reindeer, while an entertaining watch, just made me angry. It makes me think of people who are naive and are forced to learn the hard way. No matter how many times they learn, the lesson doesn't hit.

[wiredlyrelatable]

LIFE IS UNFAIR FOR EVERYONE, BUT FOR A WOMAN....

The rape cases and murders happening around her gives shivers..

The deadly acid attacks are scary even after her recovery..

The unnecessary stalking scars her for life..

The online brutal comments makes her breakdown..

The slut and body shaming is so constant as everyone is judging her 24/7..

The regular unwanted touches and smiles which are bad takes time to make her realize what that person has done was wrong..

The night travel and solo traveling horror is real as it feels like anything can happen just because she is a woman..

The lack of freedom till this 78th independence day from her family and the society..

The stress level going up as any moment of her life can be the moment when she can get attached..

The urge to get physically stronger than a man for self defense which is not possible is every woman's thought..

The wardrobe change because at the end the society is blaming the victim after what the man did to her..

The safety measures of carrying everything and relying on those items for her protection is done by every woman..

The anxiety to reach home as soon as possible while sitting in a public transport makes her restless..

The safety measures taken by the government are not appropriate for every woman on daily basis..

The dreams and goals of a woman getting crushed because of her safety issues in this society..

The family pressure of getting her married so that her husband can become her real knight in shining armour to protect her..

The horror of not being comfortable and always being alert when an unknown man is around you be it anywhere..

The trust issues creeping in just because a man is unpredictable with his behavior..

The headache of dealing with a man child in any kind of relationship..

The permission is always needed from her family or her guardian or anyone whom she is living with to go anywhere and everywhere..

The advantage taken from her while showing concern is the worst nightmare for every woman..

The physical or mental abuse she has faced in her childhood when she didn't know the meaning of these is remembered as a scare for life by her..

The feeling of not being able to voice out your story of any type of mishappening makes you feel helpless and emotional AF..

The cases of child and teenage kidnap, abuse, trafficking specially of females gives you chills down the spine..

The trauma of any family member or a relative or a friend or her lover molesting her is frightening..

The professional places where sexual favours are asked in barter of work is the most disgusting practice held..

The increasing cases of voilance on her in the name of her family not being able to provide dowry to the man..

The law of alimony introduced to protect a divorced woman with a lack of job is now a days used to shame the woman..

The subconscious stress of not being able to close or even blink her eyes when she is outside or is with a man..

The revenge strategy used by men after their love is rejected by her, against the woman is not fair at all just because their ego is hurt..

The internal scar of a woman to even look or laugh with a man or at them these days has become hard maybe because he may take any hints from it..

The burden of delivering and taking care of a child even though the woman is not ready to be a mother because of her husband or in-laws happens a lot till date..

The insecurities of not fitting into the beauty and body standards set by the society..

The good intention of a helpful person also seems doubtful because noone helps without any favour in return in this Kaliyuga..

The way a man is looking at you be it casually or if he is lost in his thoughts also seems judgemental for her, in her point of you..

The cramps and the blood released every month in the name of periods should be beared by her without complaining which is painful AF..

The pleasure during sex is not fun for a woman like how it is for a man to enjoy the orgasm without much pain as they don't have a vagina with pains and burns..

The problems of pre, post and process of pregnancy is so tough mentally, physically and emotionally..

The most of the heart breaking moments of her life have not happend because of her but have changed her life or sometimes she is blamed for the incident..

The problems of choosing her own life partner is for real be it from one or both the partner's families..

The question on her opinions are always raised no matter how correct she is specially if the opposite person talking is a man..

The PDA in public be it just a hug or a kiss is judged somuch by the society specially when she has initiated it with the guy..

The adjustment only she should do in her husband's house with his family after marriage because if she wants to stay separately she is called a homebreaker who is separating him from his family..

The way she is shamed if she is a single mother and obviously the society doesn't care what the reason is or what the man did..

The way she is demanded to marry a tall and an elder guy than her so that he can take care of her is bullshit..

The way all the bad words used are mostly on female members of your family which is so wrong and disgusting..

The words used to shame a man are too little compared the words used to shame a woman on social media or in arguments..

The pressure put on her by her family to marry is more as compared to a man because they think he can survive alone but a woman can't..

[lordhelpme0-0]

Replaced Au

Me: *smiling creepily*

Lucifer: w-why do you look like that..?!

Mammon: I think the better question is why we’re all here…

Rielle: that is something I like to know.

Nobunaga: better question is who you all.

Me: better question if your all still complete d1cks?

Them: …

Me: let’s talk about replacing our BELOVED mcs~!!

Mitsunari: replacing what now??

Me: sweet somersault child, it means completely and disregarding MC for another.

Malleus: why would I do that to child of man?

Me: let’s call it…a possibility. Not to mention almost all of y’all have horrible sense of telling which woman is good or bad.

Azul: hey!

Me: I kinda wanna add Diabolik Lover dummies here but I scratch the idea by giving them nightmares or basically bloody letters of warnings since I kinda not in the fandom anymore but- that’s not the point.

Clavis: why would we replaced belle for that matter?

Arthur: yeah! I would have to agree with this bloke. Why on earth would I disregard MC for another woman?

Me: cause you can’t read the room and unintentionally make them feel insecure and jealous. Not to mention those flock of women and sometime not knowing it. If you do an uno reverse, you get what I mean you dense birds for brains.

Shingan: wait…so that’s why MC avoided all of us cause women were around?!

Me: yes! Why do you think Kichi and Sasuke got the assignment, they went with her to take it off her mind. Actually, why do we even adore y’all in the first place?! Oh wait— red flags. Yep. Why do I even bother…

Mitsuhide: you sound very similar to hideyoshi, M.I.

Me: I know I sound like hidemama.

Hideyoshi: I’m a man! Not a woman.

Me: yeah..yeah. Anyway. Here’s a warning. Break their hearts and use their kindness and help vainly and not being grateful. I’ll break your legs and cut off yo d1cks.

Epel: your sounding like Jiang Wanyin-sama…

M.I: I know. Don’t want what happen to Wen Chao on y’all do you?

Twst boys: *nod*

RSA: ?????

Wei Wuxian: WHO SUMMONED ME?!

Me: WTF-?! Aren’t you guys suppose to be in your world or the multi-mansion or at tthe ramshackle dorms?!

Wei Wuxian: nope! Whatcha doing~?

Me: threatening them to not break or use the MC kindness and helpfulness and disregarding them for another. Similar to how you do it for Jiang Yanli-Jie Jie.

Wei Wuxian: oh~! You mean them? Yeah, I’ve met them. Really remind me a lot like shijie. Now here a word, break their heart and replaced them. We both break you. *has scary green eyes*

Theo: first of all, where is this coming from?!

Me: blame the demons. *slaps the replaced Au and sad mc angst on the table*

Ikemen series boys: … *pissed*

Twst: *very pissed*

Obey me: …*feeling weirdly guilty cause of their alternative selves*

Me: to think…to think…you would do this to a poor INNOCENT LAMB!!! *being held back by Wei Wuxian and Vincent* YOU DESERVES PUNISHMENT!!!

Mammon: but it’s not us!!! Alright!!

Me: it could happen.

Chevalier: don’t worry, we don’t really open easily to others beside our belle. But if this were to happen. The sheep can stay with us.

Comte: or us. I’m sure it be a lovely editions.

Leona: for a mere sheep, I suppose Savanaclaw will welcome it.

Lucifer: why are you all looking at us like that.

Jean: why else. Madame MC and her friends do not deserves sinners and filth. *sheathes rapier*

Napoleon: Jean. Rapier down. Surely some of you can see this is idiocy right? *smiling not meet his eyes*

Simmon: of course. MC deserves better than that. The heavens will welcome.

13: seriously, men am I right M.I?

Solomon: when did you get here?!

Me: she was here long ago solo cup.

Solomon: …

Arthur: guess we’re not the only victims huh?

Solomon: shut it you 2 star rated writer.

Arthur: EX-cuse?!

Me: I’m sure you all understand the assignment correct?

Nobunaga: of course we do. Though, thank you for telling us about the jealousy part.

Me: go suck Kenshin d1ck.

Nobunaga: …

Kenshin: …

Shingan: kinky~!

Me: omg Shingan…WHY!!! NO! *sprays water on Shin-gone* BAD SHINS.

Yukimura: m’lord!!!

[alreadyblondenow]

Jaehyun’s Body | Jung Jaehyun

▸ Jaehyun x reader ▸ Smut, Smut, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Demon Jaehyun, Prostitute reader ▸ HALLOWEEN SERIES: 127 HOUSE ▸ 5/5 for NEOHALLOWEEN writing festival hosted by @nct-writers​

Summary: Jaehyun is a demon who uses girls to make him stay handsome. He eats girls… literally. Then he met you and he can’t eat you because he’s in love with you.

Word count: 7K

Warnings: Sex, sex, sex, a lot of killings, mentions of killings, Blood, lots and lots of blood, killings again, then another killings, eating of human flesh, filthy (I’m telling you), all kinds of sex, swearing, abduction, mentions of eating children but he stopped don’t worry, pregnancy, murder, attempted murder, suicide (?), prostitution, mentions of sex club, depression, mentions of therapy, mentions of cheating

A/N: Pure fiction, we all know that Jaehyun doesn’t need girls to make him handsome. I made this filthier than ever because it’s my last fic for 127 House. I made a timestamp for this as a bonus preview so if you already read it, yay. Inspired by the movie Jennifer’s Body and Pretty Woman. I changed the ending last minute I hope you wont hate me. Also, I’m sure a lot of you want to read more Jaehyun eating girls, literally, in action. So I will just make another timestamp for that in the next few days. 

Taglist: For the last time, if I happen to forget you I’m so sorry :( @chocolattees @floweringtheflowers @huangxx @bumblebeenct @neosculptures @kooksfairyfloss @jaehyunoos @soothingjae @plump-peach @neospirited @jeongyoonohs @shanghai-lu @seriousballoon @sunshinedhyuck  @the-universe-in-you-jjh  @mira-winterlight @generantionct @mal-nakamoto23 @svteencarat​ @johnjaespeach​ @jinsonaz​ @hyuckshoe69 

Halloween present time 

“Mom, can you tell me the story about the monster who eats humans just so he can look like one too?” your nine-year-old daughter snuggles beside you on a Halloween night, tired from trick or treating and already sleepy.  

“Just because it’s Halloween” you boop her nose and kept her close to you, stroking her head and making her comfortable. 

“Once upon a time, there were five teenagers who want to make a deal with the devil. The clueless teenagers did not know that what they were doing was wrong. Meaning, wrong methods, wrong sacrifice. 

Given that they don’t know what they were doing, they singlehandedly or accidentally brought a creature into this world. The bothered creature that was summoned ate the teenagers as the creature was so confused, why was he bothered in his own torture cell in hell? 

It starved for days, lost in a world that’s not familiar to him. He fed himself with every human who crosses paths with him, men, women, and children. Until it finally knew that eating humans can make him look just like them. 

The creature adapted in this world, living like a normal human and walking amongst us, still not knowing how to go home. “

Halloween many many many years ago 

“And that creature is me. Happy Halloween class, enjoy the night” Jaehyun finishes his story in front of his class. Watching every student laugh and shrug his ‘scary’ story for Halloween. They thought he was joking, and that was the fun part Jaehyun thought. 

“See you on our next session Mr. Jung” a flirty young girl waved goodbye to him, smiling like she wanted to get on her knees and suck Jaehyun's cock right then and there. 

“Enjoy Halloween” he winked back at her and proceed to fix his things and leave the classroom. 

It was exactly a decade ago when those stupid teenagers brought him to this world. He didn’t have much of a choice but to live like a normal human to save himself. Feed from their flesh, kill every two weeks and get on with life as if nothing gruesome happened inside his house. 

Jaehyun targets girls, women in their early twenties or older. He stopped eating children only because the effect on him does not stay for long. Whereas, eating older people can last two weeks max. Luring girls was never hard for Jaehyun because he’s naturally handsome, but without human flesh, he returns to the disgusting creature he used to be. 

Tinder is his go-to restaurant. A little swipe right over here, a swipe right over there, and voila! He now has a tasty dinner and for Halloween night, perfect to celebrate his existence here in this world.

As part of his adaptation in this world, he learned how to cook human meals for his victims. Feeding them good food before he eats them. In the middle of cooking in his big kitchen, his doorbell rang assuming that it’s his food that just arrived. He opened his door with a smile, welcoming the young lady inside his beautiful house, smelling her for some time during the hug. Delicious, he thought. 

“Wow. Your house is big” the clueless girl exclaims. It’s always the same, every girl who steps inside his house is always amazed at how beautiful 127 House is. It’s white interior always captures the ladies’ hearts and leave them in awe. 

“I hope you’re hungry. I made dinner for us” he gave the girl a flirty smile, flashing those cute dimples of his that always make the girls smile. 

During dinner, Jaehyun can’t rush his meal and get on with the kill already. He is patient and takes time to know what he’s about to eat. He asks a lot of questions to gain the girl’s trust and fool her that Jaehyun is actually into her. “Do you do drugs?” the most important question for the night. Jaehyun hates eating humans who do drugs because it has a side effect on him as if his body can’t handle the drugs itself that it makes him weak on the spot. So much for being a creature from hell. 

“No, I don’t do drugs. Do you?” the girl answered with wide eyes. 

“No no. I’m clean” he smiled and put his hand on the girl’s thigh. Slowly caressing it until Jaehyun reaches her damped panties. “Can you open your legs for me?” Jaehyun’s irresistible request made the girl open her legs a little wider under the table. Rolling her head side to side as she feels Jaehyun’s cold fingers brushing on her clothed clit. 

It’s time, Jaehyun thought. Dinner is served. 

He pushed the plates away, glasses clinking, utensils started to fall from the table. Jaehyun carried her and put her on the dinner table, kissing her wildly to put the girl in the mood and make her horny. It always works. While he’s busy kissing her, his hands slowly remove her panties and spread her legs a little rough and push her on the dinner table. 

“We really doing this here?” the girl asks. 

“This is the perfect place to eat you” 

The girl smiles and felt excited because a handsome man like Jaehyun is about to eat her pussy. Little did she know, that Jaehyun will quite do it literally. He planted kisses on her inner thighs, making the girl moan and tickle her in the meantime. Jaehyun runs a finger on her slit and make her legs shiver, licking his finger as if he’s having a taste of his dinner. 

“Eat me already” she protests. Jaehyun chuckled low and puts two fingers inside her before he makes a move. 

Jaehyun’s first lick from her pussy makes his head turn and breathe heavily for the girl he’s about to eat tonight tastes delicious. He licks and licks the girl, not listening to her moaning, not minding if she’s calling his name. The way he licked the girl was like he was having ice cream on a hot summer, sucking her arousal and putting pressure on her clit. Unaware of what’s happening to the girl, he didn’t care if she already came and overstimulated. Jaehyun continued licking his dinner even though the girl is pushing him already, but still having the time of her life. 

She then felt Jaehyun bite her clit and made her shout a little too loud that her voice echoed around 127 House. She propped her shoulder and saw Jaehyun’s eyes turned plain black. He smiled at her making the girl shout in horror and shout for her life but Jaehyun’s tongue is making her cum again for the second time tonight, harder than the first one she had. 

And that’s Jaehyun’s cue to eat her. Bit her off. Letting her blood pool around his dinner table. He ate her flesh by flesh, sipping every drop of her blood, chewing all her intestines, licking the flavor off her skin like an animal. He can feel himself glow as he continues to eat her. 

Pouring himself a glass of his favorite wine, he looks at his reflection through the goblet and admires his handsomeness. Skin clearer as ever, eyes without dark circles, firm ass. He smiled to himself as he feels much more alive and young now. Jaehyun went back to the dead body on his table, kissing the girl on the cheek and thanking her for making him handsome.  

That is Jaehyun’s life for the past decade. Murder to survive, eat humans, earn money, and repeat it. No thrill. Even getting caught is no fun for him because he can easily eat the witness. But living in this world full of emotions and Jaehyun is indeed a curious demon, he wanted to try to fall in love. Maybe he wants it because he’s been eating girls who are desperate for love and that’s making him desperate too. You see when he eats humans, he eats their emotions too and in that way, he learned feeling things. Anger, fear, happiness. All kinds. 

Three weeks after Halloween, he found this one of a kind service that he’s very much interested in. Just like every other human who likes their food clean, Jaehyun likes his human clean too. 

We offer house services just contact us and book someone you prefer. We guarantee clean and respectful girls....

Reading the brochure of that sex club who offers special services is like reading a menu in an expensive restaurant. Maybe it’s time to give up Tinder, stop ordering cheap food, and start feeding on expensive ones.

Just in time for his feeding again, the university kept him busy and so he did not have time to eat and settle for human food instead. That’s why he looks awful now. His hair is starting to fall out, his fair skin has acne, dark circles under his eyes, some of his toenails are falling off. He’s becoming weak, and he needs to eat soon.

“Y/n honey, you have a schedule for tonight. A big spender this one.... huh. He paid an overnight promo and even gave you a tip. Wow he’s rich” 

As you listen more of the details from the lady at the front desks, you thanked the man mentally who gave you a generous tip that will go straight to your savings, rent, and water bill. Not that you love this job of yours, but you’re excited to meet the big spender and treat him well just so he can get his money’s worth.

While you were drying your hair, you heard your phone ding and it was from your client whom you look forward to meeting. “I’ll send an uber from your house to mine. See you later” it was a bit cold but usually, your clients will just send you the address and it’s your duty not to be late for the appointment. You smiled because he seems so thoughtful and a real gentleman, you became more excited about meeting him and looking forward to the sex.

When the uber driver dropped you off in front of a big white house, you thought that maybe it was a mistake that your date must have pinned the wrong address. You rang the doorbell just to make things sure. Asking never killed anybody. You wait for someone to open the door to you, biting your lower lip while scanning the outside of the beautiful house. 

“You must be Y/n” the man who opened the door said. Well, that makes things official. You’re in the right place. 

“Yes...uhh, sir Yoonoh?” his weak state is bothering you. He doesn’t look like he can fuck at all.

“Please call me Jaehyun. Yoonoh is my alias. Come in” 

The handsome man welcomes you warmly in his home, taking your coat and putting it in a cabinet near his door. He looks handsome but exhausted, coughing a little as he closes the cabinet door. “Are you okay? You look sick” you blurted out and your first words made the man smile. Different. You’re different. You don’t care how big the house is he thought, the first thing you did is care about him. “I’m fine. The weather has been affecting me lately but, I’m good. I hope you’re hungry, I made early dinner” He gave you a weak smile and coughed again. 

This customer of yours continues to surprise you. First the uber ride and now the early dinner. For the first time in your life, this wretched job doesn’t feel like a job at all. Jaehyun here made you feel like you’re here for a date and not just to fuck the whole night. You follow him to the kitchen to help him get the meals that he prepared for both of you. As much as you’re amazed by his cooking skills, you are more amazed by how he managed to cook a decent meal even though he’s weak. 

Jaehyun started small talk, as usual. Asking you questions before he kills you and making sure you don’t do drugs even though it’s stated clearly that the sex club has clean girls. He made you comfortable the whole dinner time and made sure you enjoy what he cooked for you. 

“What do you do outside this job of yours?” Jaehyun asked, cutting a piece of steak as he waits for your answer. 

“Nothing. I’m lifeless” you joked, “I take care of myself and save as much as I can so I can have a clean start, which reminds me thank you for the generous tip” 

When the air was finally dead, he put his hand on your knee, caress it softly until his hand reaches your upper thigh. You felt his hand shaking like he’s shivering but he’s not telling you. It seems like he’s forcing himself to push through having sex just so his money doesn’t go to waste. But you can’t let him. The man is obviously weak and sick, he will not enjoy the pleasure and his money’s worth. 

To his surprise, you cup his face and shook your head ‘no’. “We don’t have to do this today. We’ll end up being sick together on the next day, want that to happen?” he shook his head to answer your question, “I promise I won't tell the club and I will find a way for you to get what you paid for. The dinner is delicious by the way what herbs did you put here?” 

So much care for someone who kills to survive. He doesn't deserve any of your kindness. The demon is completely moved. When you were the one who initiated the small talk, Jaehyun realized how he loved sharing things that he does. Like how he likes his steak perfectly well done, he likes his alcohol old and cold, even told you that listening to Chet Baker while drinking wine is his favorite thing in the world. Talking too much about himself was never his thing when it comes to talking to his victims. Then he realized maybe you’re not one of them, that maybe for the first time he had a visitor comforting him instead of making him full. 

You were the first person who listened to him. His first friend.

Talking and sharing personal stuff with one of your clients was a big ‘no’ for you. But there’s something about Jaehyun that makes you feel that your secrets are safe with him, even though all you knew about him is his love for music and wine. As the night goes deeper, you two are still talking about random stuff and laughing loudly whenever something funny came up. It was nice. You caught yourself resting your head on his weak shoulders and loved his warmth. Hearing his soft voice near your ear is almost addicting even though he sounded weak. And seeing his smile up close and poking his dimples whenever you want to is a different kind of privilege. The night went on until you fall asleep on his shoulders, unconsciously hugging him like a teddy bear and putting your leg on top of his like you’ve known each other for so long.  

He was thinking deeply if he’s going to eat you or not. You are juicy for his taste, like a turkey on Thanksgiving. He removed some of your hair from your face, patting and caressing your head so he knows you’re in deep sleep. Carefully, he reached for your hand and played with your fingers, smelling it and still thinking it through. He put your pointer finger in his mouth, sucking it like a lollipop and tasting your flavor through your skin. You taste so good that his eyes turned into his demon eyes and his demon tongue is ready to taste more of you. But you smiled through the feeling of his tongue swirling around your finger and came closer to him. Unconsciously and still sleeping soundly.

He remembers how your kindness moved him, and how he felt important for the first time in his whole existence. Jaehyun shook his head and stopped attempting to eat you, wiped your fingers, and intertwined his fingers with yours instead. It’s weird how he’s so hungry but he can’t seem to kill you. 

To survive, Jaehyun went to the nearest bar and lured a hooker whom he killed in the back of his house. It was his first time killing quietly in his premisses, careful not to wake you up. Even though the human that he just ate doesn’t taste good, well, he just had to look presentable in your eyes the next morning.

When you wake up, you almost jumped out of bed because you thought you were in bed with a total stranger but turns out it was just Jaehyun. His skin is glowing under the morning sunlight, his cute snores make you smile, fucking pink lips begging to be kissed or it’s you who’s begging to be kissed… you smiled and brushed his hair away, accidentally waking the handsome man. 

“Morning” he murmured, pulling you for a hug and closing his eyes again but he was smiling. 

Even his breath smell nice, “feeling okay now?” you asked softly, not ruining the peaceful morning and nervously smiling brightly because the butterflies in your tummy won’t stop flapping their wings. 

“Yes. All thanks to you” he opened his eyes and admired your beauty. He can feel his heart thumping. “I think I owe you something” he kissed your lips passionately and pull your body above him making you put both your legs on his sides. He never left your lips as his hands roam on your sides requesting to remove your dress. With one swift move, you’re on top of the handsome man with your matching lacy underwear, bodies grinding on each other, moaning deliciously, and about to have morning sex. “I’ve seen a lot of naked girls before but none of them made me horny like you do” you giggle at what he said, if every client you had is like Jaehyun, you don’t mind staying on this wretched job forever. 

It’s not that Jaehyun is a virgin. This is just his first time having sex without killing the one he’s fucking. Watching you cum above and underneath him without going in for the kill was satisfying and almost addicting. Not to mention that your walls feel amazing around his cock. Warm and tight that he never wants to pull out from you. 

You, on the other hand, is so surprised by how Jaehyun is so great in bed like he was craving sex. Every lustful thrust he gives makes you gasp and it just takes your breath away. The way he held your leg up, fuck you deep that you’re skin to skin, makes you claw his back and grip the sheets so tightly that you hurt your hand. He never slowed down but he was not rough enough, he was making you feel good the whole fucking time that you made sounds you never thought you’re capable of. On top of that, his sweet words are making you feel things. 

After the most amazing sex you both have in your entire life, he can’t let go of you even just for a second. He’s glued to your body while you make him breakfast, “Can I see you more in my clothes?” he whispered behind your ear, hands resting on the side of your waist while he distracts you with his kisses, blowing cold air on your nape to tickle you and make you giggle. 

And when it’s time to go, he was begging you with all his might to stay. “I have to work, Jae” it’s true. And being with Jaehyun made you forget that you’re here for work, he completely changed that. If it wasn’t for your work you will give in and stay. 

“Okay, okay. I understand. Have dinner with me this weekend? I’ll cook for you again, I’ll make it up to you” to be honest, he was afraid you might not come back here.

“Mhmm. I’d love to” you left a soft kiss on his cheek and opened his door. You are the first person who steps inside his house that comes out alive and well. 

As you leave Jaehyun in his house, he was quick to call the sex club again and book you for tonight. The service was really expensive but as he talks to the person in charge of your schedule, you were worth every dime of his hard earned money from the university.

Happy about how your schedule with Jaehyun went, and happy that you met him, your friend from the front desks informed you of your new client for tonight and you screamed because of too much happiness when he used his real name to book you.

When you got home to prepare for yet another night with Jaehyun, you’ve never been so excited about meeting a client for the second time around. Thinking about how his lips travel in between the valley of your boobs the other night, that sweet handsome smile whenever he catches you looking at him, the way he makes your heart flutter during breakfast with his sweet words. This is definitely a good start to give love a chance and you’re stupid if you let something like this slip from your hands.

When the most awaited time finally came, Jaehyun was over the moon and blushing like crazy when he saw you again at his doorstep. This time, it’s not food he sees but a woman who will love him and will change his life. And if you used to smell so tasty and delicious for Jaehyun well now, you smell like love and new beginnings for him. You were the epitome of change, stepping into his house and in his whole life. 

Your second night together was a hundred times better than the first even if it’s storming like crazy outside. It’s like going on an indoor date with Jaehyun, eating a delicious dinner, and drinking good wine together. Rather than having sex the whole evening, you and Jaehyun spend the night cuddling on his huge couch. Talking about life under a cozy blanket that he owns, creating your own special warmth.

“What if you became broke because of me?” you asked and snuggled closely. 

“Hmm. Well, then I just have to work more. Get five jobs” he joked but he sounded serious. 

“My job will be a great problem if we continue this. I don’t want to hurt you-“ 

“Hey, no one is hurting anyone. I respect your line of work and I understand the reason why you’re doing it. Until then I just have to wait for you just like the other guys. I have long patience, it’s not a problem” Jaehyun says and boops your nose.

And that is the start of your new life with Jaehyun. Your life is all about him and he is all about you. Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months. Jaehyun is still in love with the same woman who rang his doorbell and cared for him for the first time in his life. After a few months of looking for a job that does not include having sex with different men, you finally left the club and go home to Jaehyun every day. 

Peaceful and quiet mornings are now replaced by Jaehyun’s disturbing kisses while you make him coffee. Leaving each other for work during the morning has been your daily struggle. But the promise of seeing each other at the end of the day is something so hard but worth it in the end.

Slowly, you changed each other’s lives. Loving each other deeply more and more, trying new things together, and loving life even when it’s incredibly tough sometimes. It was more than just flirting with each other, going on dates, and having a lot of sex.  

Saying that he’s in love with you and showing it every day is still not enough for Jaehyun to prove you his love. He loves you so much that for the first time in his life he doesn’t want to go back to where he came from anymore. He wants to stay here with you. Live happily, marry you someday, have kids, and be with you until your dying breath. 

“Why do you want so many kids?” you asked, drawing small circles on his toned chest while his right arm is securely wrapped around you.

“Kids are great especially when we are the ones who made them. Don’t you think?” He reached for your lips and kissed you. 

“Promise me you’ll be a great dad. And you will never leave me or- or our future children alone. You’re a great man Jaehyun and my heart will break in a million pieces if you hurt me too like my dad” you were so full of emotions. You remember how your father left you and your family and it made your mother suffer. Jaehyun was quiet and he listened to you. Your feelings were so important to him so he did not dare interrupt and waited for you to finish. 

“We will be happy, I promise. Watch me love you every day and fulfill all my promises to you”

The problem is... he can't tell you the truth about himself. Jaehyun is scared to the bone that you might not accept him. The truth about him is never easy to accept and he doesn’t want to give you that burden. Having a demon eating humans to survive is something unacceptable even when love is already involved. But he has faith in you. Someday, maybe he will be brave enough to tell you. But not now. 

Dating you made his feeding a little hard because it’s basically cheating. He loves you so much that he despises being a demon and eating humans just to stay alive. Sometimes, he starves himself that he trie so hard to live on raw meat but it only lasts a few hours and it frustrates him greatly. He doesn’t want to meet other girls anymore and pretend that he’s interested in them, he wanted so bad to stop using Tinder. But he can’t. You don’t deserve a demon like him but he loves you and he’s sorry. 

Even though you don’t know anything about Jaehyun’s real being, he never hurt you like one of your exes and he’s much a greater man than all of those jerks combined. He is the only man you see your future with, growing old together, having coffee on your porch, racking your chairs, and hopefully die together. Your heart can’t take it if Jaehyun dies before you. That’s how much you love him. 

Four years ago

After a tiring day at the office, you’re so thankful that your house is quiet and peaceful, away from the noise of the city. You went straight to the bathroom, prepared the tub, and treat yourself to a nice warm bath with a glass of wine on the side. 

“Y/n, you home?” Jaehyun put his keys on the table next to the entrance and removed his coat. He just came back from burying the bones of the three girls he just ate at the back of 127 House. Tricked them into having a foursome but even before they could remove their clothes, Jaehyun killed them already and ate them all until their bones are clean and easy to bury.

“In here” you shout while you put more bubbles in the tub. Jaehyun soon appeared and leaned on the bathroom door. “I just got home from work baby, hows the university?” you invited him inside and he greets you with a kiss on the cheek and proceeds to strip in front of you. For a university teacher, your boyfriend sure does look so hot. 

“Nothing special. Students flirting with me, then I fail them” he giggles and joins you in the tub. Sitting behind you and pulling you against his strong chest. He plays with your wedding ring and intertwines his fingers with yours. Home is where Jaehyun is. He is the best thing about this house, coming home to him and enjoy this little world. 

It was a silent moment for the two of you but you can hear him thanking you for staying in his life. Jaehyun’s eyes screams ‘i love you’ whenever he’s quiet and smirking liking this. 

“Why are you always like that. You know you can always say it. Three words Jae, I love you. Were married already and you never said it to me-“ 

“But I always show it to you” he giggles and puts bubbles on top of your head and your cheeks, laughing because you look funny. “You will get sick of me if I start telling you those words. That’s why I show you instead. Those are powerful words Y/n, I’m saving it. Trust me, once I told you those words, you will fall in love with me. Again” he winked at you and you rolled your eyes at him. Facing him completely to clean him up.

“Do you fall in love with me over and over again whenever I tell you, I love you?” you asked. Looking in his eyes and brushing your wet lips on his. Touching. But not kissing. You can feel your boyfriend’s heartbeat so fast as you wait for his answer. 

“Every time. Like you just walked into this house for the first time again” he smiled and flashed those cute dimples of his and kissed you down the tub until the water overflows and the candles are one by one dying because of the waters splashing.  

Two years of happily dating through ups and downs. And two years of being happily married and you still don’t know what you did to deserve someone like Jaehyun. He’s beyond perfect. Like someone made him as a character in a book and poof he became real and find his way to you. “I love you” you whisper. And even though you won’t get a response, you know that Jaehyun does love you too. 

One day, your boss made you left work early because he wanted you to go overtime the next day. So you did. You wanted to surprise your husband with his favorite take-out and spend a nice dinner with him. When you arrived in his driveway, you see his car badly parked on his huge lawn. You made your way quietly inside the house and went straight to the kitchen to put the food on the counter. 

You heard continuous thumps upstairs, not quite sure from which room. As you walked towards the stairs, you heard another thump followed by a high pitched moan and, “Jaehyun! Don’t stop!” then another thump. At first, you didn’t want to walk further closer to the room where you believe Jaehyun is fucking someone because you didn’t want to see it. But you are his wife and you have every right to call him out even though it hurts you so much knowing that Jaehyun is capable of cheating. You can’t believe it. 

As you peek at the door from his study room, you watch Jaehyun eat a girl’s pussy on his table. She looked young. Younger than you and maybe that’s why he cheated. The girl is very much overstimulated and can’t stay put so Jaehyun roughly holds her down while keeping her legs open. You watch Jaehyun hold her so harshly and wonder if your husband has always been into rough sex, “ouch!” she says loudly. 

Jaehyun stopped licking her and proceeds to kiss her neck. At this point, you don’t know why you’re still watching your husband cheat when everything is all clear. 

“FUCK!!!!!” 

Hearing the girl scream like that made you stop from shouting and calling your husband a cheater. Because, lo and behold you witnessed your husband murder her. Biting her by the neck and choking her down so her body won't slip off his table. You gasped sharply when you saw Jaehyun ripped her stomach and reach in for her intestines. Covering your mouth with both of your hands as you can’t believe what you were watching. You would rather face the problem of your husband cheating on you, but murder? Devilry? Seeing him became a creature eating a human felt like you’re watching a horror movie and made you think that you don’t know Jaehyun anymore. Or did you ever? 

As you watch him eat her and be scared for your life, you notice that Jaehyun’s face is slowly changing… “This can’t be” you murmured and fainted hitting your head first, making Jaehyun turn around with shock. Jaehyun didn’t know what to do. Usually, he eats the witness too but this time he can’t. Of course, he can’t eat you. 

 Every bit of the truth was too much for you. Even when you know that he is sincere with everything that he says to you about his true being. 

You married a demon. How can Jaehyun expect you to accept this? 

“Well, what did you want me to tell you? ‘I’m a demon and I eat humans to survive?’ I’m telling you now and you won't even look at me” Jaehyun was so frustrated already. It’s been a week since he told you the truth and to be honest he doesn’t know what you want him to do or to hear from him.  

“It hurts me to see you all scared and disgusted to me, baby. I'm not forcing you to be with me and stay- but fuck I’m still Jaehyun. My feelings for you are true and my love for you is undying. Please don’t do this to us and don’t do this to yourself. You can leave, but please think about our years together” he kissed you on your temple and noticed that your grip on the knife is so tight that your hand is already shaking. Tears fall down your cheeks and you don’t know what it's made of. Was it because you’re scared? Heartbroken? Or confused because you don’t know what to do. 

You love him but you’re scared. And that thought alone can make your knees weak and your mind go crazy. 

Since you knew about the truth, your marriage went downhill and the house became cold and unwelcoming. A once fire burning relationship is now cold as ice. You decided to leave Jaehyun even when you made a promise to him. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. 

For you, leaving was a mixture of loneliness, heartbreak, and disappointment. But for Jaehyun, he was lost, miserable, and incomplete. He wanted to starve himself and never eat humans from now on but he still wants to live for you. Hope and wait for you to come back in his life. 

After leaving Jaehyun, you took care of yourself and went to therapy. But a few days after, you found out that you’re pregnant for almost two weeks already and once again you feel cheated in life because you could have had a family of your own and be happy in life. Just how you and Jaehyun planned it to be.   

It’s Halloween tonight and Jaehyun just finished eating. He has no appetite, to be honest, and only ate a pair of arms. Then that’s it. He can’t eat the human further, still weak, and still looked like shit. He’s cleaning the mess he made on the kitchen counter, dumping a half-eaten body in a trash bag, and scrubbing blood off the floor when his doorbell rang and expected trick or treaters. He brought the bowl of candies with him, head towards the door, and opened it with a smile. But his smile was soon gone when he saw you on his doorstep, completely clueless on what to do because he wanted to hug and kiss you but he can’t. 

“I shouldn’t have left you-“ 

Glass and candies shattered on the floor and neither one of you cared. Jaehyun hugged you tightly and apologized over and over again while he showers you with kisses. Smiling so brightly but both of you have heavy tears in your eyes. 

The feeling of entering his house for the first time again after leaving him for only two weeks almost felt like the very first time. “Are you okay? You look sick” you worry for your husband and it made you feel like a shitty wife because you didn’t even consider his feelings. He was struggling too. 

“Welcome home” Jaehyun sobs and pull you inside the house. He kissed you deeply and showed you how much he misses you, lifting you, and bringing you to your shared bedroom with all the strength he has left. 

He removed your clothes and his clothes without leaving your lips which he missed kissing. You kept your eyes closed until you’re ready to open them again because you can’t help but see the demon who’s eating humans to survive. “It’s still me” Jaehyun whispers, kissing your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours. “Nothings changed, baby. I’m still the Jaehyun who paid the sex club just so I can spend time with you” he waits patiently for you to open your eyes, hoping that makeup sex will somehow fix your marriage again. You wrapped your arms around him when you feel him go in between your legs.

Slowly, you open your eyes and breathe in and out. “I’m pregnant” you whisper back, kissing him softly. He did not say anything but you know that Jaehyun is more than happy to hear the news. 

“Is that why you came back? You want us to be a family?” he smiles and you answer with a quick nod. He kisses your neck all the way to your jaw, down to the valley between your boobs, and ends up in front of your pussy. At first, he was hesitating and kept on kissing your inner thighs but you seem eager, you roll hips continuously waiting for Jaehyun to make a move. 

“Oooohh-” you moan out so deliciously, holding Jaehyun’s head in between your legs, raking his hair and tugging his locks every now and then. Before you even cum he stopped eating you out and went back to your lips. He ate you so good that you can taste yourself through his lips. He lines his cock and watches it disappear as he pushes deep inside you. You gasped and breathed heavily, gripping the sheets more when he starts drawing circles on your clit sinfully. He missed how your walls feel around him, biting his lower lip as he doubles his pace and dive in pleasure head first.  

You reached for Jaehyun’s lips when you hit your high and asked him to, “Slow down. I want to savor you” he giggled and followed your request, kissing you more as he slowly fucks you while you enjoy your high and until he catches his own. He noticed there’s tears in your eyes when he pulled out and asked you, “what’s wrong baby? Talk to me” he kept you close to his tired and weak body, covering you both with the thick duvet and enjoying this special warmth. 

“I’m sorry for distancing myself Jae, I’m sorry for leaving you” He can’t forgive himself hearing you apologize to him when it’s his fault your marriage was ruined. Jaehyun told you that he will stop eating humans until he finds an alternative. And to make things lighter, he thought of baby names until you two fall asleep in each other’s arms. 

The plan worked. 

When Jaehyun was in deep sleep, you went downstairs to get a knife. The sharpest one that can slit his throat in one go and bravely go on with your plan on killing your husband. As you placed the sharp knife on Jaehyun’s throat, it was so sharp that he is cut already and it woke him up. 

Jaehyun opened his eyes and see you holding a knife on his throat, tears falling from your eyes, and obviously hesitating if you’re going to do it. Your husband saw your struggle. The deep shit he put you through. You don’t deserve any of this. If being dead can bring you peace in his life and healing, then so be it.

“It’s okay” he calms you down and holds your wrist, gripping the knife with you. His hand feels cold already. “burn the house and don’t let anyone see you leave here so you won't be accused over anything. I love you and I'm sorry” 

It was the first time you heard those three words from Jaehyun and he was right. You remembered how much you love him like waking up in an awful curse but you’re too late. Jaehyun slit his own throat while still holding the knife with you. 

Regret hit you like a train and all you can do is cry over Jaehyun’s dead body. 

The sun is almost up and you can’t be seen leaving 127 House because there are two dead bodies in this house. You kissed Jaehyun’s corpse and removed his wedding ring from his finger. The only thing that will prove he existed in your life.  

You used the gasoline for the barbecue party scheduled before Christmas, sobbed uncontrollably as you think all the memories you had with Jaehyun. His weak smile during the night you first met him, the first time his lips touched yours, all the plans and dreams you both had, how Jaehyun is always full of life when it comes to planning on having a baby… 

But you killed him. And you’re about to burn the house and all the memories it holds like it’s just an unwanted photograph. After lighting the match, you drove away from the house as far as you can crying while you focus on the road and trying to find your way back to your old apartment. 

As the sun goes up and slowly light up the sky, the image of 127 House burning flashes in front of your eyes and it made you pull over on the side road and take your time to cry. You feel Jaehyun’s cold lips on yours as you imagine his body being eaten by fire. 

Halloween present time 

“But did the demon really died mommy?” your daughter asked. Eager to hear the answer to her question. Until now telling her the story about Jaehyun, without the gory details and sex part of course, still gives you goosebumps. “You never answer my question. You’ve been telling me this story since I was six, I’m nine years old now. Please please please, answer the question” she added. 

“Wow look who we have here” he knocked before coming in, “can I come in princess?” 

“Of course daddy. Mommy, won’t tell me the ending of the demon eating-human” your daughter whines. You and Jaehyun just laughed at her and snuggled all together in her small bed. 

“He didn’t. Now, will you please sleep?” he strokes his daughter’s soft hair, “mommy is tired already and I’m here to get her. Can I?” 

“How can you be so sure he didn’t die?” you and Jaehyun groaned together. 

“Okay. That’s it good night. No more stories. We love you, sleep well okay?” Jaehyun used his fatherly might and stopped his own daughter from bugging you both. She’s quite a handful sometimes. You and Jaehyun gave her a good night kiss and left her to sleep. 

EXPLANATION

Jaehyun got out from the fire because he’s a demon and demons are immune from fire. He is a smart demon (btw he’s a university professor) so he found the reader again and incase you missed it, the reader regrets it because he loves Jaehyun so much. 

Check the comments section for other answered questions. 

Thank you for reading! 

[snapdragcns]

Astro Notes ✨

Pisces men can be just as emotionally manipulative as other signs such as Gemini, however they don’t really mean to be.

People with a lot of Capricorn placements (especially if there’s Sagittarius in the chart too) give me a vibe of general insecurity, despite the fact that they should be the most organised and secure placements

Scorpio Venus is one of the most intimidating placements, in my opinion, they just have this very sensual but also scary vibe. They may also end up doing work that is quite sensual, e.g I know a woman with Scorpio Venus that does Shibari modelling.

Libra Moon tend to want to make everyone happy to the point that they ignore their own wellbeing, they may have grown up in a situation where they had to do a lot of chores etc, to avoid getting in trouble with their parents.

Leo placements can be very specific about their appearances, they won’t be the ones you see sitting in pyjamas on Zoom. For example, if I know I’m going to have a phone call, I have to get dressed, do my makeup and tidy my room.

Gemini Women can have a victim complex, my mother always tries to turn everything she’s done to me as things I’ve done to her (ok gaslighting) and tells me so many things I really don’t need to know to make me feel bad for her. I also had a Gemini friend who was part of the reason for my mental health issues and she also turned it to make it seem like I’d done to her what she’d done to me, she even made a tiktok about it.

It’s been said often but Scorpio Rising seriously have the most captivating eyes, my crush is a Scorpio Rising and the moment I met her we made eye contact and I felt like I’d been struck by lightning.

Capricorn Moon are one of the most caring moon signs, they make good therapists and are generally just very good at helping you solve emotional problems. They just have a comforting aura around them at all times.

I find that Virgo Venus can actually become quite obsessive in relationships and unlike a lot of posts I’ve seen I feel like we actually ignore the issues with the other person in the relationship and just love them so fully that it can get to an unhealthy point.

I find the more planets you have in retrograde in your chart the more easily changeable your mood can be.

Aries Moon & Aries Mars can often have anger issues in childhood and possibly onto when they’re older as well.

In my opinion, Sagittarius is the most stubborn sign. If you have an debate or argument with a Sag about anything they will defend their point to the literal *death* even if they are ACTUALLY wrong.

Sagittarius Mercury have very distinct and sometimes even slightly odd voices, e.g Bjork, Britney Spears and Woody Allen (ew, but he’s a good example.)

Aquarius men can be quite manipulative as well but in a way where they have the ability to make it come off as a joke.

Taurus Suns are actually incredibly funny, a lot of people I get on with and have a lot of jokes with are Tauruses.

Even though it shouldn’t work as a couple, according to astrology, I always see Sagittarius and Taurus in the most healthy, long term relationships, they also normally end in marriage.

[hrina]

fr you people on tumblr are so brainwashed sometimes. the way you act like it's ALWAYS the man's fault. it's scary how you guys shut yourself out to evidence when it's the woman who's at fault. i watched large chunks of the trial and there's nothing that can convince me that amber heard DIDN'T defame johnny with malicious intent. you guys want to go around praising women and "believing women" and of course we should. but there are also times when you have to think critically for a moment and parse the evidence. if after watching the trial and being presented with all the evidence you still think amber heard was sexually/physically abused as she claimed... i don't know what to tell you except to brush up on your critical thinking skills. you need to realize that there are some people who WILL lie, who WILL try to defame others to propel themselves up. you need to watch amber's testimony vs johnny's. don't just run with verdict if you haven't seen the evidence and heard what the lawyers were arguing for. if you're still on amber's side, pls go listen to the tape recordings of her ADMITTING to hitting johnny depp (there are multiple ones), then go look up the "evidence" she presented of photographs where she claims johnny "whacked" her multiple time while wearing large rings. images are not consistent with her claims, and they have been be edited. then go look up talk shows she appeared on and places she's been photographed in and tell me she was "whacked." and no, makeup will not cover swelling or severe bruising. then go through all the witness statements and tell me they're all lying. managers, cops, deskman, friends, makeup artists -- they're ALL lying for johnny depp? go watch them and tell me what you think of amber heard verbally abusing johnny in public. and yes, the claim of sexual assault was defamation. if she was assaulted as badly as she claimed on so many different occasions, she would have needed hospitalization. someone would have noticed. for being such a public figure, photographs would picked up bruises, scratches, etc. but there isn't, except that one photograph TMZ took of her at the courthouse, who knew to show up there and which side of her face to photograph because she or her team alerted them. (btw that bruise showed up mysteriously and was gone the next day.) also, you're putting blame on the jury, who has to go through hours of deliberation and mounds of evidence. if you weren't there, or you didn't watch the trial, how dare you claim that the verdict was unfair or incorrect. and btw, they awarded amber $2 million for waldman's statement, which i find more than fair. and before you go off on me, IM A WOMAN. i'd withheld my judgment until i heard from both sides in the trial. all evidence suggests that johnny had not been physically or sexually abusive to amber.by denouncing this verdict so vehemently, you realize that it's unfair to the MEN who don't come forward with domestic abuse. it's a two-way street. Women are more likely to be abused, but that doesn't mean that men aren't. if all you heard is the media coverage and the shit amber spewed, of course you're gonna side with her. but i'm gonna fault you on bad logic if you didn't consider the evidence. you can't pick and choose who you listen to. just cause amber's a woman doesn't automatically make her a victim.

[whatareyousearchingfordean]

Come As You Are

Summary: Dean takes Y/n dress shopping for a hunt, both of them blissfully unaware of where it will lead. 

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus Size Reader

Word Count: 3.9K+

Warnings: Language, self-esteem and body image struggles, public intercourse, unprotected intercourse (wrap it before you tap it)

Author’s Note: This was written for an anonymous request, 

“Hey babe I don’t know if your taking requests but I had a groovy idea dean x shy plus reader where they have to get the reader nice sexy clothes but she feels really uncomfortable in them and refuses to leave the dressing room and dean confess how he feels and they have sex in the dressing room ? Fluff and smut” 

I truly enjoyed writing it so I hope it lives up to your expectations anon. Remember, feedback is like crack to writers, and we always love to hear what you thought xoxo Alex

Consider checking out a book from Alexandra’s Library!

A frown etched itself on her face as she ran her hand over the fabrics hanging from the racks. All of it felt foreign underneath her fingertips. Satin, chiffon, and everything else that was far more expensive than she was used to. Y/n’s wardrobe mostly consisted of denim and polyester blends that tended to fray after two washes. It was all that a hunter could afford, after all. 

“How in the hell are we gonna afford any of this crap?” She whispered to Dean, who was eyeing the rack behind her, the gowns in front of him all a deep shade of red. 

“Charlie’s miracle card, remember? There is no limit,” Dean raised his brow at her, a grin etched across his perfect face. 

“Fine,” she groaned. “I still don’t see why I even need to go dress shopping, I’m sure I could find something in my closet.” 

“I’ve seen your closet, and none of it is right for this case. You’ve got to distract the coroner for the night and you can’t do that in baggy jeans and flannel.” Dean huffed as he picked a dress off the rack. Y/n’s eyes went wide as she took it in, the hem was short for anyone’s standards, then add in the plunging neckline and this dress left nothing to the imagination. 

“That is so not happening,” Y/n pointed at the offensive garment, her stomach fluttering at the simple idea of even trying to slip into it. Every spot on her body that she hated would be on full display in that thing. Her thick thighs, the roll that sat on her bra just under her arms, and don’t get her started on her abdomen. 

“Come on, just try it. You never know ‘till you try it on.” 

“Ugh,” Y/n snatched the dress from his hand before stalking off to look at more dresses. There were a couple more options that she grabbed to try on that were closer to her comfortability level. Under normal circumstances, she wouldn’t be caught dead in any of the items in her arms. But Dean had this way about him, always able to convince her to do anything without question. Maybe it was the way his skin crinkled around his eyes or the brightness that always seemed to live behind those deliciously green eyes? Who was she kidding, it was all of that and then some. The huntress had fallen hard for him from that first meeting. Sometimes she wondered why she chose to torture herself. 

Dean Winchester was the cream of the crop when it came to hunters, as was his baby brother, Sam. The whole world knew who they were, including heaven and hell, so how could she be expected to resist him when he smiled at her the way he does. Or even when he made her coffee in the mornings just how she liked it and picked up chocolate and pain killers for her when he knew it was that time of the month. He was exceedingly attentive to her, something that she was sure he only directed at Sam. It was just another thing that surprised her about the legend of a man. 

Yeah, like an idiot she fell for the eldest Winchester. There was no stopping it even though she was certain that her feelings would never be reciprocated. Y/n wasn’t like the other woman that Dean went for when he was on the prowl at bars. It’s not that she was ugly, it was that she was plain at best. People didn’t turn their heads when she walked in the room, men’s gazes didn’t linger on her from across the bar, no, Y/n was merely average. That’s how she knew that Dean would never see her as more than a friend because he had never looked at her in any form of want. 

“Are you ready to try those on?” A sales woman’s voice broke her out of her unrelenting train of thought. Dean answered for her before she could process the woman’s words. 

“Yes, please.” He smiled brightly and Y/n watched as the woman’s face flushed under his gaze. Y/n almost felt bad for the woman who was now just another victim to his charm. The saleswoman at least would be able to relish in his attention, wondering about what could have been had Y/n not been there with him. Y/n on the other hand already knew her fate. But mostly, if she was being honest, she was jealous. 

Dean put his hands on her shoulders and guided her along behind the boutique worker who took them into the back of the store where the dressing rooms were located. The area was mostly quiet, just the music from the speakers could be heard in the space. Three large mirrors sat in front of a stage on the far wall, the rooms spaning out on either side of it. In the center of the room were three plush chairs for those waiting for others to sit in. 

The worker unlocked a door for her as Dean plopped down in one of the chairs. Y/n slipped behind the door, letting out a deep breath as it closed behind her. If there was one thing she hated it was trying on clothes. Nothing ever seemed to fit her right or look anything like what it did on the hanger. It made the task a constant battle with her self-consciousness. 

Y/n had always carried extra weight on her body. It wasn’t that she didn’t live an active lifestyle, she was a hunter, after all, it was the diet that hunters were accustomed to. It was fast food and dives in every small town in America. Not many mom and pop places tended to offer an egg white omelet, and it wasn’t her inclination to eat them either. So, she had always been bigger than most, and if she was being honest she had grown used to that. Maybe she used it as a shield to protect herself. Making connections with people as a hunter only tended to end in heartbreak, so this was easier. 

The hunter hid the scary red thing Dean had selected behind all the rest of her haul, hoping she would find something before she ever even got to the thing. Y/n stripped from her flannel and jeans tossing them on the bench in the corner. She also added her bra to the pile, knowing all of these garments necessitated that she did not wear one. That left her in her favorite pair of panties. They weren’t anything special, but they made her butt looked its best.

The first dress in the line up was a straight black dress that hit just above her knee. The neckline wasn’t anything too crazy but the sleeves rolled off the shoulders a strip of fabric wrapping around her bust. Y/n was able to slip it on and tug up the zipper on the side. With a slide of her hands against the fabric, she frowned at her reflection. Not that it would flatter any figure, in her opinion. 

“What’s taking so long in there?” Dean called out from his spot in front of the mirrors.

“I’m not coming out in this thing,” she called back as she began to take the dress back off. 

“Oh, come on sweetheart,” 

“Nope, next,” Y/n heard him huff even through the door and she imagined he rolled his eyes as well. 

The next dress was a deep blue color. It had a wrap and pencil skirt, with an asymmetrical shape between the hem and the neckline. She supposed it was pretty but it also kind of looked like she had wrapped herself in a towel. Mostly, she felt like the point in the neckline was going to stab her in the throat, and she was not sure how to be sexy when she was trying not to die. It was another pass for her. 

There was only one dress left, and at that moment she was wishing to whoever was listening that she had picked out a few more choices. Dean was whistling now, some Zeppelin tune she couldn’t exactly identify and she knew he was getting impatient. Y/n swapped the fabrics on her body, pulling the thin straps of the red satin piece up onto her shoulders. The dress clung to her skin, the fabric lightweight. 

“Y/n/n,” Dean’s voice was just outside the door, the new proximity of it startling her. “Come on, you have to show me at least one. I know you and you’ll just try vetoing them all.” Y/n swore under her breath because he was right and it pissed her off that he knew her that well. The zipper was out of her reach on her back and she supposed she wouldn’t be able to truly see what it looked like on her unless she zipped it up. 

“Fine, I need help with this zipper anyway,” she sighed and held the fabric against her naked chest while opening the door with her other. Dean was beaming when he came into view on the other side of the door. He snuck inside faster than a flea, the slamming of the door startling her again. 

Get it together woman, you kill monsters for a living, Y/n cursed herself. 

“Turn,” Dean instructed her with his fingers, and the woman obliged as she faced the mirror. Dean brushed her hair off her shoulder with his fingertips, the action barely distinguishable but it sent the hairs on the back of her neck standing to attention. With one hand holding the bottom stop, he used the other to tug on the pull tab, sliding together the teeth in one fluid motion. 

“Thanks,” Y/n’s words were soft as she made eye contact with the green-eyed hunter in the mirror. He ran his tongue of his bottom lip, pulling the plump flesh between his teeth as his eyes wandered over her exposed skin. 

Y/n visibly cringed as she looked at herself. Unfortunately, this was her favorite out of the three, but that didn’t mean she felt like she could venture anywhere in public in the thing. “Sweetheart, if that coroner hadn’t already been eyeing you up today, he would not know where to start when he sees you in this.” 

“Shut up,” Y/n scrunched her nose as she spun around to whack Dean’s shoulder. “You are so full of it.”

“Am not,” Dean scoffed, his eye softening before he continued. “Y/n, why don’t you see how beautiful you are?”

Y/n whipped around to stare at him, her arms crossing over her chest, not believing that those words come out of his mouth. Surely, he was playing with her…

“Have you looked at me, Dean?” Y/n slapped her hands against her thighs, emphasizing their jiggle upon impact. “I’m nothing special.” 

“I have looked at you,” His gaze traveled down her body again, his breath hitching slightly as he did so. “I’ve been looking at you for a while now.” The drop in Dean’s voice sent heat rushing through her body, the gravel undertone making her shiver. 

“Dean--” words escaped her as the hunter stepped into her personal space, pushing her back against the mirror. Dean’s left hand came to rest against the reflective surface just beside her head as he chewed on his lip. 

“I don’t think you know how hard it is for me to keep my eyes off of you,” he leaned into her, his nose brushing alongside hers. “And now, seeing you in this dress, I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep my hands off you.” 

A rush of confidence coursed through her blood as his hot breath fanned over her face and Y/n slipped her hands behind his neck, pulling his lips down to meet hers. The movement was anything but smooth, though the action sent both of the hunters into action. Dean growled as he nipped her lower lip and she opened up to him, allowing his tongue to invade her mouth. 

A moan involuntarily came from her as his hands moved to her hips, the heat of his skin seeping through the thin material where his finger pressed into her flesh. He stepped back, pulling her after him as he backed up and dropped to sit on the plush bench. Dean bunched up the material to her hips as he urged her to straddle his lap. Y/n used her hands on his shoulders to steady herself, the new bulge in his pants a surprise to her as she settled in his lap. 

“Yeah, and you thought I was kidding,” Dean took in the slight rise in her brow, leaning forward to run his lips across her jaw, taking note of the places that made her shiver. Her eyes were squeezed shut as she allowed Dean to explore her body and let herself just feel him. Dean raked his teeth along with the shell of her ear, causing her to buck her hips and both of them to groan.  

“Fuck,” her words were a breath on her lips as she repeated the action, the roughness of his jeans just enough friction on her aching sex. 

“That’s it, beautiful, take what you need,” Dean sat back and used his hands to keep her body moving against his own, watching the way her brows scrunched together in the center of her forehead. With a shift of his hips, he had her pushed back and straddling his left thigh, his hands still in their place on her hips. “Can you come like this, sweetheart?”

“I don’t--” a jolt of electricity had her halting her denial, instead she chose to just nod and place her hands against his chest to balance her movement. She could feel Dean’s heart hammering in his chest under her palm and the quick rise and fall of his breath. Even at this moment, she was disbelieving that he was that turned on watching her get herself off on his thigh, but she had the proof hammering under her fingertips. Y/n was biting her lip to keep quiet in the small room. “Dean, I’m so close.” 

“I’ve got you, come for me, Y/n,” he husked as his grip tightened, though she wasn’t sure how that was even possible, seeing as there was already gonna be bruises there later, that she was sure of. The sound of his voice reverberating in her head had the coil snapping inside of her, heat flooding her body as every nerve sparked and faded out. A rush of air left her lungs, her body slumping as her muscles relaxed post-orgasm. 

“Oh my god.” As her arousal ebbed from her body and the reality of what just happened came to her sense, Y/n clammed up and she tried to climb from his lap. Blood rushed to her face and her hands flew to her cheeks to hide the heat settling there.

“Woah, where are you going?” Dean stopped her from making a hasty exit, his eyes searching hers in question. 

“Dean, what the hell just happened?” 

A smirk replaced the confusion on his face as he leaned forward and nuzzled his face in her neck, tracing his tongue up her pulse. “You just got yourself off on my thigh while I tried not to cream my jeans,” he breathed in her ear. It was like he already knew every button to push on her body, his dirty talk doing everything she needed it to for her body to already be aching for him again. 

“I--”

“Shh, sweetheart. That was hot as fuck, and all I want now is to be buried deep inside that pretty pussy of yours.” 

“Jesus,” her eyes shifted to his, taking in the mischievous glint shining behind his iris. “You aren’t kidding.”

“Nope,” he popped the ‘p’ at the end of his word and Y/n nodded as she climbed off him. She turned her back to him so he could undo the zipper, and it took a second for Dean to catch on to her silent action. He jumped to the edge of the bench and tugged down the zipper before sliding the material down her shoulders. Dean hooked his fingers into the edge of her panties, placing a kiss on the dip in her lower back before pulling the soaked material to pool at her feet along with the dress. He stood then as she turned back to him and pushed his jacket and flannel down his arms, adding it to the pile of discarded clothes in the room. 

“Come, on we don’t have a lot of time before someone gets suspicious.” There was a quiver in her voice as she lifted the hem of his tee and tugged open his belt. It was taking everything in her to quell the shaking in her hands. Dean’s fingers came down to wrap around her wrists, halting her movement and she looked up at him. 

“Y/n we don’t have to,” he was trying to read her mind as he examined her face. The trepidation was seeping through her pores, but not because she didn’t want this. Hell, the painful ache between her legs told her how much she wanted this, but her brain couldn’t help to race through the million thoughts about what it all meant. 

“No, I-- God do I want this,” Y/n began chewing on the inside of her cheek as she tried to come up with the words to explain to him what she was thinking. But the longer the time passed the more nervous she grew, standing there stark naked and he’s still basically fully dressed. “I think I’ve wanted this for a long time now, but I’m just scared.”

“Of?” He urged her to continue.

“That this doesn’t mean the same thing to you,” Y/n cast her glance down, her eyes fixated on the way the fluorescent light glinted in the metal of his belt. 

“You think that this is about getting my dick wet for me.” It wasn’t a question, because she had all but spelled it out for him. “Y/n,” He put his fingers under her chin and turned her head back up to his, brushing his lips against hers, the action soft and unhurried. “I told you, I’ve been watching you for a while now, trying to learn everything I could about you. I would have done this the first night I met you if I hadn’t thought about what it would do to you. But I’m done being scared because I think I fell for you a long time ago and no amount of whiskey or other women could make me forget that. So I’m done fighting it.” 

“Yeah?” Her eyes were swimming with unshed tears now, and Dean answered her with another kiss, pulling her body flush against his own as he invaded her mouth. The pair only pulled apart when they could no longer fight the need for air. “Dean--”

“Yeah,” he breathed, dropping his grip on her to finish what she started with his belt. Y/n watched his movements, her breath getting caught in her throat as she watched him pull his length from its cotton confines. Dean signaled for her to turn with one hand as he stroked himself with the other. She obliged, of course, and Dean pushed her gently between her shoulder blades until her hands were pressed against the mirror. He nudged her legs to open a tad wider, meeting her gaze in the mirror. 

“Do we--” 

“I’m good if you’re good,” she told him, knowing where he was going with his question. He nodded to her before lining himself up with her entrance. Dean held her gaze as he entered her from behind, both of them sighing together as he became fully seated. Y/n closed her eyes as she tried to compose herself, her head falling between her arms. 

“Fuck, open your eyes, look at yourself,” Dean was biting his tongue as he swatted her ass to get her to lift her head again. She indulged him, looking at herself in the mirror before turning her eyes back to his in the mirror. “There you go,” he praised her, the words like music to her ears as he pulled back out and slammed into her hips. 

Dean set up a steady rhythm, careful to not shake the walls of the dressing too much with his movement. The couple kept their eyes on each other in the mirror, the moment the most erotic thing she could ever remember doing, but for the life of her, she couldn’t be bothered by it. Even from her vantage point, she could see how blown his pupils were, the black of his iris’ all but drowning out the green that she loved so much. To be honest, she wasn’t sure which she liked more now. All she did know was the feeling of him moving inside her and the way her muscles were shaking. 

A small knock had Dean stilling his movements, and Y/n stood up, pressing her back against his chest. He slipped an arm around her chest as she signaled for him to be silent. “You doing alright in there?” 

Y/n swallowed the lump in her throat and let out a breath, “Yeah,” she called back, afraid her voice would be too wrecked if she said anything else. 

“Is there anything else I can get you? Maybe some different sizes?” The saleswoman tried again. 

“Nope, I’m all set, thank you.” 

“Okay, just let me know.” The sound of her footsteps could be heard retreating from the dressing room, and Dean pressed his face into her neck, the pair of them chuckling. 

“Come on, sweetheart,” he adjusted their position, resuming the movement of his hips as he snaked his free hand down to rub against her clit. Y/n jolted in his arms at the contact, this time closing her eyes as he built her back up. “I’m right behind you. Can you come for me again?” Y/n nodded against him, her hands flying to his forearm as she felt herself jumping over the cliff, her mouth open in a silent scream. Her knees buckled and Dean had to adjust himself to keep her from falling, still fucking her from behind as her fluttering walls milked him to his own orgasm. He bit into her shoulder to keep himself from groaning out loud. 

“Sweet Jesus,” her body went limp in his arms as the pair of them caught their breath in the now muggy space. 

“Yeah, you are so not going out with that coroner tonight. We will find a different way.” Dean admitted as he pulled his now softening cock from her. Y/n flinched at the feeling and the subsequent rush of his release inside her. 

“What?” She turned to him as he began righting himself, not understanding why he didn’t want her to do her job.

“‘Cause you are all mine now,” Dean tugged her into his chest, his fingers around one of her biceps. “And I want to spend all night making sure you can’t walk tomorrow.” 

“Oh,” Dean laughed as she blinked at him, clearly lost for any sort of coherent answer to what he just told her. 

“Get dressed so we can get out of here and kick Sammy out of our motel room.” Dean tapped her ass again and she pushed him away from her, a stupid grin on both of their faces.

Forevers: @22sarah08​ @akshi8278​ @anathewierdo​ @atc74​ @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​​ @callmekda​ @dawnie1988​ @deanwanddamons​ @ellewritesfix05​ @emoryhemsworth​ @flamencodiva​​ @foxyjwls007​ @hobby27​ @janicho88​ @jensengirl83​ @katehuntington​ @lyarr24​ @malfoysqueen14​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @msmarvelouswinchester​ @polina-93​​ @sleepylunarwolf​ @stiles-stilinski-24-dylan​ @smol-and-grumpy​ @superfanficnatural​ @supraveng​ @talesmaniac89​ @tranquility-or-chaos​​ @waywardbeanie​ @winchest09​

[thecaffeinebookwarrior]

Monster of the Week: A Writer’s Guide to Vampires!

The Basics: Vampires From Around the World 

Almost every culture has its vampires, and they go way beyond Dracula and Nosferatu. 

There are obviously too many to include in one post, so here are a few especially unique vamps to get you inspired and interested in learning more! 

The Penanggalan, Malaysia - Literally meaning ‘to detach,’ the Penanggalan is an exclusively (apparently) female creature. 

By day, she masquerades as a normal woman (and let’s be real, don’t we all.)  But by night, her head detaches from her body and floats around, entrails hanging like tentacles -- which they nightmarishly use to entangle their victims -- and preys on pregnant woman and babies.  Lovely. 

Creepily, the Penanggalan gravitates towards day jobs such as midwifery, so she can get closer to her prospective prey. 

The Manananggal, Philippines - Much like the Penanggalan, the Manananggal has an unfortunate habit of detaching parts of her body to fly around.  Described as an “ugly, hideous woman” (mood), the Manananggal can detatch her whole-ass torso to fly around like a bat. 

Like the Penanggalan, she preys on pregnant woman and unborn babies, with, creepily, her incredibly long tongue.  Some, however, prefer to seduce and prey on men -- preferable, to be honest -- in which case they appear young and beautiful.

The Upir, Eastern Europe - Ukrainian, Belarusian, Russian, Romanian, and Czech cultures all have mythos around this abnormally bloodthirsty vampire.  Not only do upirs drink the blood of their victims, but they bath and sleep in it.  They eat the flesh of their victims as well, and are especially partial to the heart.  In a uniquely sadistic detail, the Upir is thought to consume the children of a family and then the parents. 

The Alukah, Judaism - Literally meaning “horse-leach,” the Alukah is one of the earliest vampires, originating in the Bible.  

A fixture of Jewish folklore, and sometimes described as a demon or witch, the Alukah is unique in the fact that she is not undead but a living, shapeshifting being (according to the description in Sefer Hasidim.)

She can fly by unfurling her long hair.

The Brahmaparusha, India - This nightmarishly extra vampire will drink the drained blood of its victims from a skull (which it carries around at all times), before noshing on their brains and wearing their intestines as necklaces and crowns.  Worst of all, this vampire has an unusually ravenous appetite, and consumes several victims per night.  

The Callicantzaros, Greece - In Greece, children born between Christmas and Twelfth Night were thought to be bad luck (?) and susceptible to vampirism.  The Callicantzaros was considered to be egregiously unpleasant, equipped with devilish talons with which to tear victims to shreds.  Their first victims, post-transformation, were supposed to be their own siblings.

Unfortunately, this led to a degree of mistreatment and hostility towards children born during this period, as parents watched for signs of their progeny’s prospective vampirism.  In order to ensure that they didn’t become Callicantzaros, the children’s feet were dangled above a fire, like a reverse Achilles.

Vampire weaknesses: 

Garlic - This one’s not just particular to Western mythos.  Southeast and far Eastern vamps like the Manananggal are also vulnerable to garlic. 

Salt - The Manananggal is vulnerable to salt, as are vampires from most cultures in which salt is considered holy or purifying. 

Silver - A holy metal.  The origin of the “vampires can’t see themselves in mirrors” myth is because it used to be a component in mirror-making. 

Vinegar - Again with the Manananggal. 

Daggers/stakes/sharp objects - Especially through the vampire’s heart.  In many cultures, burning the heart is also advisable.  Be careful, though: sometimes, staking an upir will only bring them back to life stronger. 

Dismemberment and fire - Most vamps are susceptible to this, including the Penanggalan.  The only sure way to kill an upir is to decapitate them and burn the remains. 

Counting - Much like the Count of Sesame Street, vamps can’t resist counting things.  If you scatter some small, countable objects on the ground, the vampire will have to stop and count each one. 

The tails of stingrays - in the case of the Manananggal. 

Sunlight - Obviously.  Though not universal, this pops up in vampire mythology around the world, including the Manananggal. 

Detachment - when the Penanggalan and Manananggal detach their heads and torsos, their discarded torsos and lower bodies are vulnerable.  In the case of the Manananggal, sprinkling the discarded legs with garlic and salt.  The Mananggal will not be able to return to its lower body, and will perish with the rising sun. 

Starvation - The Alukah can be starved if she’s prevented from eating for long enough. 

Stupidity - In the case of the Penanggalan.  If you turn the Penanggalan’s body upside down, she’ll re-attach backwards.  I’m not sure what the purpose of this is, except the exhilaration of punking a vampire and making them walk around on their hands all day like a jackass.

Protection: 

Thorns around windows - Thorns will keep the Penanggalan from harassing you or your unborn children. 

Strings of garlic - Just make sure SOME IDIOT doesn’t take them down (RIP Lucy from Dracula.)

Pots of uncooked rice, ash, or salt - Repellent to the Manananggal.

Running away and hiding - Basically the only method of recourse against the Brahmaparasha.

Eating bread infused with an upir’s blood - Sounds kinky, to be honest. 

Stay on sacred ground - I.e. graveyards and churches.  Just be sure you’re not trying to avoid the kind of vampire that dwells in graveyards if you go for the latter.

Holy water, crucifixes, silver, et cetera - Anything sacred or holy.  Varies based on culture.

Imbibing the ash of a supposed vampire’s burnt heart - I’m not even going to joke about this one, since people actually did this during the vampire scare of New England (my homeland.)  I learned about it from a book about local vampire encounters at the Newport Public Library at age twelve, and it scarred me.

Dangle your baby above a fire - Actually, no, PLEASE don’t do that.  But that’s what seventeenth century Greeks did to prevent their kids from turning into Callicantzaros. 

Age of consent laws - Specifically for Edward from Twilight.

Don’t get a welcoming mat - Counts as inviting them in.  Duh.

Ways to Become A Vampire:*

*Ask your doctor if becoming a vampire is right for you.

Biting - Obviously.  Though if you read Dracula and early accounts of vampirism, it was more of a slowly progressing illness than a sudden transformation.

Reject Christianity - In the case of upirs.  More specifically, the church buried non-believers outside of graveyards, leading them to rise as servants of the Devil.  Honestly, I feel like the church kind of brought that on themselves. 

Be born between Christmas and Twelfth Night - At least if you’re in seventeenth century Greece.  

Be influenced by the Devil while dying - Another version of the Upir origin.

Be a demon possessing a corpse - One prospective explanation for the Brahmaparusha.

Making a pact to obtain eternal youth and beauty that involves not eating meat for 40 days and then breaking it like some kind of an IDIOT - One version of the Penanggalan origin myth.  I shouldn’t judge, my self-control isn’t great either.

Get startled by a man while meditating in a bath and jerk your head so hard that it flies off and at the interloper in fury - Another prospective version of the Pennangalan origin. Relatable, honestly. 

Be so bitter and jealous of couples that you go on an insane killing spree of pregnant woman and get publicly executed by being ripped in two - The Pennangalan, again.  She makes the Kardashians look tame. 

Chanting an incantation, anointing yourself with oil, and purchasing a black chick - In the case of the Manananggal.  The black chick reportedly lives inside the Manananggal, eating its innards while also acting as its life source.  Honestly, after all the drama of the Penanggalan’s origins, this seems reasonable.

Other Sources

Video Essays: 

The Power of the Vampire Myth - A superb sociological dive into the cultural significance of vampires. From the post WWI antisemitism of Nosferatu to their ability to subvert the Hays Code, vampires tend to reflect the shadows of every society. 

Dracula: A Brief History of Eternity 

CREEPIEST Vampire Legends from Around the World 

Vampires: Folklore, Fantasy, and Fact

How did Dracula become the world’s most famous vampire?

Vlad the Impaler: The Real Life Dracula

Influential Vampire Fiction:*

*That I’ve read/seen so far.

Dracula - Duh.  The greatest adaptation of which is, obviously, Dracula: Dead and Loving it.  

Nosferatu - It’s good to be aware of its antisemetic overtones, but it’s still revolutionary at evoking dread.

Varney the Vampire - A penny dreadful series that helped popularize vampires in Victorian England.  It gets bonus points for sounding like a children’s show. 

Camilla - The ORIGINAL lesbian vampire, predating Dracula by decades.  Became an adorable webseries and movie, which I recommend even more than the original novel.

‘Salem’s Lot - Serves as a study of what makes vampires scary in the modern era.   

Underworld - Aside from serving as a badass alternative in the Twilight era, it merits inclusion exclusively for causing my Sapphic awakening at age twelve.

What We Do In the Shadows - Has a unique understanding of the cultural significance of vampires, and why they appeal to societal misfits.  Also has vampire “children” who eat p*dophiles. 

Vampires in the Lemon Grove - The titular story is one of the most unique interpretations of vampires that I’ve seen in the modern era.  Beautiful language that evokes a powerful emotional response.

Twilight - Exclusively because it gave us Rosemary clocking shop in a wedding gown.  And the baseball scene.

Nonfiction:

The Encyclopedia of Vampires, Werewolves, and Other Monsters

From Demons to Dracula: The Creation of the Modern Vampire Myth

Vampires and Vampirism: Legends from Around the World

New Orleans Vampires: History and Legend

Mummies, Cannibals, and Vampires: The History of Corpse Medicine

A History of Vampires in New England 

Happy Halloween, and happy writing, everybody! 

[navalcriminalimagines]

NCIS x SVU. Rafael Barba x Reader, dad!Gibbs x Reader.

request: Just want to ask if you could do a crossover where dad!Gibbs first meet the boyfriend and reader is dating Barba. Or something like that?

warnings: family lost

The first meeting

Being Leroy Jethro Gibbs’ daughter isn’t easy, for many reasons. On top is how he scares the shit out off the men you date. It happened with your boyfriend when you were 18. It took you months to make official presentations. Your father figured it out pretty quickly - that’s on being a federal agent - but waited until you told him. Then he met your boyfriend, it didn’t go very well. He never wanted to hang out at your place, and later he broke up with you, because “your father scares me so bad, I’m afraid if I do something wrong, he’s gonna shot me.”

His fears were legit. When your second boyfriend broke your heart, your father threated him so bad he moved from DC. Since then, you decided to keep your love life private, and barely tell your boyfriends about your dad. “He’s a navy cop” was well enough.

But your current boyfriend figured a few things, without you telling him. He knows your mum and baby sister were killed years ago, he knows the rules you go by come from your father. He knows your father is the love of your life, but for whatever reasons, you keep it to yourself.

However, Rafael was tired of that. He introduced you to his mother and grandmother - before she passed. He asked you to move in with him months ago (to which you agreed). Now, you said yes when he asked you to marry. Maybe it’s time for your father to meet your boyfriend—fiancé, actually.

You decided to surprise your father in DC. You and Rafael barely had entered the city when he saw you taking off your engagement ring. “Do I need to glue that diamond to your finger?” He said.

You giggled. “Don’t worry, I’ll put it back on quickly. It’s just that—if I show up with it around my finger, I won’t have time to even say a word,”

“It’s going to be fine, right?” He said as he extended his hand to your knee. You intertwined your fingers with his.

“Don’t be the smart ass you’re at work and we should be good,” you smiled and shoved the ring in your pocket.

*****

There was a whole plan. You picked up your grandfather Jackson at your father’s and dropped him and Rafael at the diner your father and you always go. Rafael already met your grandfather and Jackson loves your fiancé - although he doesn’t know he proposed yet. You had no worries about them staying together for a moment. You showed up at NCIS, to find Ellie and Nick working at their desks. “Evening, people!” You shouted, scaring Ellie off.

“Y/N, stop doing that!” She said, walking over to hug you. “Didn’t know you were coming this weekend,”

“Wasn’t plan until yesterday. Hi Nick,” you hugged him too. “Where’s Jack Sloane? I wanna meet the woman that confuse dad,”

You have a group chat with the team and it’s been weeks since they are telling you about the new agent and how your father is with her. They are convinced there’s something going on, you need to see it on your own. Unfortunately she wasn’t there.

A few minutes later, your father arrived in the bullpen and he was as surprised as Ellie and Nick to see you here. “Hey baby,” he hugged you tight, “Perfect way to end this day,” he said as he kissed your hair.

“Can you leave with me?”

Gibbs gave a few instructions and left with you. In the elevator, you turned off the engine. Your father looked at you, puzzled. “Wow, I do feel powerful doing that,” you stated.

“Is it why you did it?”

“No. I need to talk to you before we leave,” Gibbs saw your serious look. He turned to the side to face you.

“I’m not here alone,” you said. “Grandpa made the trip,”

“Y/N, you know your grandfather shouldn’t drive such a long ride by himself,”

“I know and I wanted to pick him up in Steelwater. You shouldn’t be surprised he refused,”

“Am not. I’m mad you gave him a choice,”

“Dad! That’s not the point, okay? He’s here and he’s safe. He’s waiting for us at the diner and he’s—not alone,”

Your father looked at you, waited for more information. “I want you to meet my boyfriend,” Gibbs didn’t answer, he just turned on the elevator. You switched it off right after. “Don’t go all overprotective, please. He’s nice. The best, actually. And he means a lot to me,”

“How long have you been hiding this from me?”

“Three—years,”

“Years?!”

“Yeah. I’m sorry I hid it from you, but I didn’t want you to scare him away. I love him,”

“What kind of man do you think I am?”

“The one that breaks my ex boyfriend’s arm because he broke up with me!”

“I didn’t want to break his arm. He wouldn’t shut up,”

“Anyway! Be nice and open minded, please?”

Gibbs wondered why you said “open minded”. He figured it out pretty quickly when he saw your boyfriend through the diner’s window. “How old is he, Y/N?” Not that Rafael looked particularly old, but he’s older than you and that can noticeable, especially for your father.

“Open minded, dad! You like red heads, I like older guys,” Gibbs swallowed hard when you said that. “Pop likes him. I’m sure you will too, if you give him a chance,” you slided your hand into your father’s, “Please?” You looked at him with those puppy eyes of yours. He now knows why it always worked when he did it with his mother.

Jackson was the first to see you and your father through the window. “Are you ready, Rafael?” Your boyfriend followed Jackson’s stare. You were obviously talking to your dad. “She’s warning him,” Jackson chuckled.

“I’m honestly afraid. I know that—if your son doesn’t like me, my relationship with Y/N is in danger,”

“You got me in your corner, son. It’s gonna be okay,”

Rafael watched you until you entered the diner. He stood up and extended his hand to your father. He felt like a teenager, meeting the scary father of his first girlfriend. But he’s a grown man, he is a shark in court, he usually scares people. He surely can handle your father. So he hoped.

“Nice to meet you, sir,” he said. When you noticed your father wasn’t shaking Rafael’s hand, you hit him with your elbow and he did it.

“Hi son,” Jackson stood up painfully and your father hugged him. You sat next to Rafael, across your father. Under the table, you grabbed your fiancé’s hand and squeezed it softly. “About time you arrive, we’re starving,” Jackson said. Your father kept staring at your fiancé. “I feel like the outsider here. You all work in law enforcement and here I am, old marine, with his shop,” thank god for your grandfather.

“What do you do?” Gibbs asked his son-in-law.

“Lawyer. ADA for Manhattan’s Special Victim Unit,”

“Good kind of lawyer,” you told your dad.

The diner went as good as it could go and it was all on your grandfather. You knew he was fond of your boyfriend and that he would make it easier. A few times, you had to give kicks to your father under the table to remind him to behave. Not that he was giving hard times to Rafael, but he was searching for a smallest bad thing in your boyfriend.

“How did I do?” Rafael asked when you were in the car. Your father and your grandfather were in your father’s car.

“He agreed for us to stay at home for the weekend, so that’s good. That’s really good actually,”

“Yeah, well, thank god you invited your grandfather,” Rafael chuckled.

“Told you we needed the shield,”

“You know, baby—I understand him. I didn’t sleep much last night and I tried the empathy thing. I would probably be like him if I went through the same things,” Rafael had his hand on your knee and he gave you a squeeze. “Wouldn’t want anything around a diamond like you,”

Though you were driving, you put one of your hands on his. “Mum would have loved you. She would have made him behave,” you giggled to that thought but Rafael heard the tears in your voice.

“I hope she knows how much I love her daughter,” Rafael brought your hand to his lips and softly kissed your knuckles.

Later that night, while Rafael was peacefully sleeping in your old room - he made a move but you refused to do anything in that room and he understood - you went downstairs and heard noise from the basement. “Old habits die hard,” you said, walking to your father.

“Did I wake you up? Not used to have people at home anymore,”

“Don’t worry, dad. I just couldn’t sleep,” you grabbed one of the tools and started to work on the boat just like your father showed you when you were little.

“Something’s bothering you? Are you disappoint by my behavior?”

“Nah. You did better than I thought, actually,” you told him. “And for what’s worth, Rafael understands why you are the way you are,”

“And what way would that be?”

“Overprotective. Worried. Scared, perhaps?”

“All I want is for you to be happy, sweetheart,”

“I know,” you let go of the tool and got closer to your father, making him stop what he’s doing. “I am, dad. Rafael makes me happy,” Gibbs could see the tears in your eyes even though the light was dim. He watched you taking something from your sweater’s pocket. “That’s why—“ you put the ring around your finger, “I said yes,”

You knew it was a lot in one night for your father. You didn’t know what his reaction would be. But he surprised you with a tight hug. “You’re happy, I’m happy, baby. Rafael is—seems like a very good man,”

You were happy about your life. But something was still off and no one, nothing can’t make it disappear, “I wish mummy and Kelly were still here,” you cried in your father’s arms.

“Me too, baby. Me, too,”

Rafael felt you leaving the bed. He always knew you had sleep issues. Sometimes when you disappeared in the middle of the night, he followed you because he knows you’re not okay. That’s exactly what he did, until he heard you and your father in the basement. He heard the entire conversation. It warmed and broke his heart in the same time. He could never take away the pain of losing your mother and your sister when you were a little girl. But he promised himself he would do everything he can to make it less painful.

In the morning, Rafael woke up before you. When he got downstairs, your father and grandfather were already up and eating breakfast. “Morning Rafael,” Jackson greeted him with a warm smile, which he returned.

Gibbs didn’t say anything, but with his hand, he ordered Rafael to follow him downstairs. “I now know why Y/N’s good with wood, and building things,” Rafael said with a - scared - smile.

Gibbs sat on his bench and looked up to his soon-to-be son-in-law. “I need you to make me one promise,” he said. Rafael nodded. “Promise me that—whatever happened to me, to my father or even, between you and my daughter, you will always be there for her,” Rafael felt he wasn’t done so he stayed silent, “I never approved of her exes because I knew they weren’t up for it. I feel like you are, so—promise me that, and I will let you marry her,”

“I promise you. I would promise it a hundred times if needed. Your daughter brought me back to life, she has no idea how happy she makes me. She deserves the world and I will give it to her,” Rafael paused to take a deep breath, “I promise you, I will always be there for her. No matter what,” he said. “sí o sí,” he repeated in a whisper.

Gibbs stood up and did something unexpected for both of them. He hugged Rafael. Not in a million years, Rafael would have imagined his father-in-law would hug him. But he did and you saw it.