#absolutely i am on some bisexual bullshit again

[blue-grama]

Letter of Recommendation: Evil Lawyers Edition

Or, I recognized some parallels between two of my favorite drama characters recently and did some Powerpoint about it.

If you watched and loved one of these, you should probably watch the other, is what I'm saying.

[rainbowsky]

Happy Pride! 💖🌈🦄

Happy Pride, everyone!

I wanted to celebrate Pride this year by sharing some great up-beat queer anthems - songs from some of the groundbreaking queer artists who have been raising their voices to make the world a better place every day. Let's celebrate diversity together! 😘

Domo Wilson - Bisexual Anthem

Domo Wilson should really be the one to start the Pride festivities this year, with this amazing, amazing, amazing Bisexual Anthem. Songs like this are rare - great message AND good song. This woman is fucking brilliant. (Sexually explicit lyrics).

Brenda Fassie - Vuli Ndlela

Africa's first openly gay pop star Brenda Fassie is an incredible talent. Her voice, her style, everything about the way she sings is utterly captivating, compelling and packed full of emotion - whether it be joy or misery.

I discovered her a while back and had that tragic modern experience of falling in love with an artist and then immediately being pitched into grief as I learned about her difficult life and too early death.

Some of you might be familiar with the Chinese term, 'jaiyou' which literally means 'add oil' or more generally, 'go for it!' Vuli ndlela is a similar term that means 'make way!'

The song is about sticking it to gossipy neighbours on her son's wedding day (because they thought he'd never marry and find lasting love), but over the years it has become a popular anthem of empowerment and encouragement.

Troye Sivan and Gordi - Wait

Who can resist a dreamy, sweet duet with two queer darlings?

Muna - Pink Chiffon (feat. Phoebe Bridgers)

I've shared this song before on my blog but it's such a sweet, catchy, up-beat song it deserves to be shared again.

Beth Ditto - We Could Run

One of the greatest - and most consistently and criminally underrated - voices in music.

Kehlani - Altar

This isn't an artist I've followed in the past, but this particular song is so infectious, I absolutely love it.

Shae Diamond - I Am Her

In her own words:

"My name is Shea Diamond, Singer/Songwriter based in NYC by way of Flint, MI. I was born into a gender role that I did not accept & I didn’t feel like myself. Desperate to find the financial means to transition to my true gender, I committed a crime in 1999 & was sentenced to 10 years in a men's prison. While incarcerated, I found a community that shared my trans experience - it was there where I found my voice. I began writing “I Am Her” as a statement to a world that said I shouldn't exist. I wrote it as an anthem for all those that felt shunned for simply being who they were. In 2009 I was released from prison. Shortly after my release, I moved to New York City where I found a studio to record “I Am Her” and the means to create a video for my song."

Ria Mae - Bend

Canadian pop sensation Ria Mae, yet another criminally underrated artist whose work speaks for itself. Let's give her some love as her home town and province have been suffering intense and dangerous wildfires, and destruction to homes and wildlife habitat.

Janelle Monae - Lipstick Lover

I don't even need to say anything about this song that this stupid-ass 'age restriction' bullshit doesn't already say. 😅

It's worth the trip to YouTube.

Erasure - A Little Respect

I'll close this off with one of the best gay anthems ever written, and one of my all-time favorite songs. Never has it felt more relevant than it does today, with all the hate being thrown at queer people, all the backward redneck laws, all the churchy dicks trying to destroy the lives of people they don't understand. Like the line in the song:

What religion or reason Could drive a man to forsake his lover?

What indeed?

Happy Pride everyone! 💖

YouTube playlist of these songs.

[showmey0urfangs]

I'm the previous anon and would like to clarify because I feel like some people have been misinterpreting what I said completely (not you however so thanks for that), obviously there is commentary about patriarchy and gender in the show. The issue becomes, again, when people insistently refer to a gay male character as "basically" a woman to the extent that some members of this fandom do. I have quite literally seen far more people talk about the supposed misogyny faced by Louis (a man who profited of the exploitation of women!) than Claudia, an actual female character.

The other issue I have with large swaths of fandom when it comes to this topic is how many people seem incapable of acknowledging that one person can have both masculine and feminine traits, which manifest in different ways, and that two gender nonconforming men could be attracted to each other. It's really frustrating because iwtv is genuinely one of the only pieces of media I can name, at least in the mainstream, that features two gender nonconforming male protagonists who are in a relationship with each other and whose narratives and experiences are taken seriously instead of treated like a joke. The attempt to downplay Lestat's feminine qualities by some people also becomes very weird if you know how bisexual men are stereotyped as only ever being "straight-acting," it's like people don't even know this is something bi men face at all, or that Lestat is one of the few bi male characters to represent gnc bi men. It comes off very ignorant. But then, I've also seen numerous people claim that the show isn't "for" gay men anyway (despite being about them?), a sentiment that is not unique to this fandom in the slightest. It's the same shit as basically every other slash fandom ever.

I understand why a lot of people retaliated against all the omg lestat mother shit especially when it IS absolutely true that he acts like a patriarchial maniac but how is the solution to just swap it? or refer to this fact uncritically? people are out here acting like louis WANTS to be treated like lestat's subjugated housewife when in reality he was always uncomfortable with lestat's disrespect and humiliation of him. it's equally cringe to act like louis is basically The Woman and lestat is The Man and refuse to acknowledge the nuance in both their gender presentations. as you said, it also feels misogynistic and the fact that a lot of people seem to inherently associate womanhood and victimhood is genuinely concerning, especially with how common that line of thinking is among TERFs and SWERFs. as if, what, gay men can't be victims of abuse? as if abuse is somehow feminizing? (another a real sentiment I have seen in this fandom.)

if I seem heated it's because I kind of am at this point, because this shit is pretty much ruining my fandom experience if I'm honest. you so much as point out that maybe certain sentiments can be taken too far or expressed in ways that are problematic or that one extreme isn't better than another and people just twist your words. the fact that so many people would rather double down on their homophobia instead of simply own up to and dial it down even slightly is very telling. it's so disappointing, because i feel represented by this show but i guess not even canonical, nuanced portrayls of queer characters are safe from your average fandom bullshit

Hi there, thank you for clarifying and I totally understand your frustration. There is a tendency in fandom to wanna break down characters into archetypes or tropes even if the source material doesn't fit into it; Grumpy vs Sunshine, Aggressive top vs innocent virginal bottom (I've seen fans try to fit Louis into this even though the guy used to own and run several brothels 😂), Clueless cinnamon roll vs Life-hardened tough guy, high school quarterback vs loner loser etc. And this feminine vs masculine is just another trope that can often veer into fetishization, especially when it comes to M/M pairings.

I'd say Louis and Lestat both exhibit some of these traits, but they don't fit neatly into any defined category and that's what makes them interesting. They don't conform to heteronormative gender presentations because newsflash—most people don't actually, real humans are a lot more nuanced than that and well-written characters should/will reflect that complexity.

[hard--headed--woman]

A few things about my goldstar lesbians post !

I am not mad at anyone who replied to this post ; I understand why you did and I also recognize that I didn't phrase it well, and that it was easy to misunderstand what I meant, especially on a website full of people who hate goldstar lesbians and defend fake lesbians in general.

I am a goldstar lesbian, and I do believe that in theory, only goldstar lesbians are real lesbians. Many if not most non goldstar lesbians indeed are bisexual. The "in theory" is there because I think there can be exceptions.

These exceptions aren't : women who've been married to men for years before "coming out", women who dated and had sex with men before "realizing" there were lesbians, women who dated men without it being a problem before suddenly calling themselves homosexual, women who say they dated and had sex with men just to avoid being called gay, etc etc. I don't believe you can have sex with several men before "realizing" you were a lesbian, even if you are in denial. I don't believe comphet crushes are a thing.

What I think these exceptions can be : lesbians being abused, coerced, forced, violently pressured, lesbians hating their homosexuality and wanting to deny it and/or to "cure it", very young lesbians dating boys their age for some weeks because they don't understand everything they feel and are scared...

What I meant in this post is that I am not in every woman's head and that I cannot completely close my mind to the idea that a non goldstar lesbians, in some cases, can really be a lesbian. I can acknowledge that non goldstar lesbians most of the time aren't lesbians without saying "NO non goldstar lesbian will EVER be a real lesbian, it is ABSOLUTELY impossible no matter what and it CAN'T happen". Maybe 99,8% of non goldstar lesbians aren't real lesbians ; I just want to keep my mind open for the 0,2%. This post was about abuse and severe lesbophobia, not about bisexual women finding sex with men boring and thinking that makes them homosexual.

There is a lot of hate directed at goldstar lesbians so I understand the reaction that my post created. I just wanted to make it clear that I am not a fake lesbians defender and that I will never throw goldstar lesbians under the bus to protect bi and straight women larping as lesbians.

As always I'll be glad to debate with people who disagree as long as you are calm and polite. I am young and I have many things to learn so maybe I am saying total bullshit without realizing it but being rude about it will not help anyone. Sad that so many of you seem unable to talk without saying "Go fuck yourself" and "stfu" at least twice in a sentence, are you like that in real life too ?

Anyway, my apologies again for my not very well written post that apparently gave anyone the wrong idea ; I should have made my meaning clearer.

[pirdmystery]

sylvain jose gautier for the ask game

oiuhgggghhhggggggggggg…

first impression: it is important to note that i literally got into 3h because i knew it as “that game with sylvain in it.” i didn’t even know what to expect from him other than that. so when dimitri introduces him as “a bit of a skirt chaser” or whatever i’m like lol ok?? what??

impression now: if anyone is interested… go through my sylvain tags to get a feel for this. i’ve been spiraling lately. suffice to say i am SO sick about him like more and more every day. christ alive talk about a guy with problems. the way he is so smart and so soft but he is absolutely determined not to let anyone know either of those things… noooo I’m actually just a wacky little guy don’t worry about me… i’m just the comic relief… doing fine… yeah i know i said “burn until we meet again” and “see you in hell i guess” but that’s just because I’m being soooooo funny and normal… i’ve also never cried in my life btw…

fav moment: there are so many blink and you miss it unhinged sylvain moments in this damn game. i’ve talked about it recently but the fact. that if he does badly on a lesson and you pick console instead of critique he gets really bitchy and pissed off. like jesus christ. sorry for trying to extend you some gentleness buddy will not make that mistake again.

also let’s take a moment to recognize the iconic “it killed my brother and now it’s mine.” certified sylvain moment

idea for a story: i have billions. i never stop emotionally tormenting this man. got a 20 years post cf angstfest about he and felix coming. beyond that i am obsessed with the prospect of a sylvain/mercedes/ingrid ot3 and someday i am going write a fic with them that isn’t just the extensive smut that currently exists in my google docs

fav relationship: i have got to go with ingrid. i do very much ship sylgrid romantically and they make me sooooooooo unwell but even if i didn’t their friendship is just so important to me in a way i really struggle to put words to. the way they understand each other perfectly but that makes it almost harder for them to get through to each other because of all the layers of bullshit they have built up around the true version of themselves that the other sees. they bump heads a lot but the way it’s so obvious that under whatever they might be clashing about and the baggage of their years of friendship there is this foundation of unconditional love that is not going anywhere no matter what oh god suddenly i cant see the screen and there’s something happening to my eyes oh god

a fun thing about sylvain is that i could write equally unhinged paragraphs about his relationships with mercedes and dorothea!! something about girls he would normally flirt with and their response is :) hey i see you btw! and sylvain is forced to crumble like a little baby. i cannot get enough of that shit. get seen idiot. i’ve also been known to enjoy some yurivain and dimivain and claudevain for not dissimilar reasons.

unpopular opinion: once again idk what is popular!! i feel like my shipping tastes with him are not the most popular but everyone is nice to me when i talk about them so. it’s all good

favorite headcanon: most bisexual man on the planet. i also love making him work service jobs lmao. he works at subway in my sylgrid fic but there are so many other things i want to subject him to. he should have to sing happy birthday to people at applebees. he should be a barista at a shitty coffee shop. mostly this is because it’s funny but i also think would be deeply in character for sylvain to plant himself somewhere far below his skill level and languish there as if there were nothing else he could do about it.

tysm for letting me go off about him… man. sylvain.

[nomorerww]

this is how this man responds to his very real and very disgusting habit of saying that he would resort to violence in response to shit that is not threatening to him physically and that is irrelevant like an obviously bisexual or even lesbian woman going to a queer bar and being upset about being misgendered.

I don't have any screenshots of this but I'm pretty sure either this -- most likely this or another one of these jewels that spends way too much of their fucking time finding tifs to sperg about absolutely does threaten to kill them b/c they called themselves gay men.

who the hell cares? He's mad because he's being called out for what he is and it makes him feel some semblance of shame if he's capable of feeling that. He's so stupid that he's willing to tell you right up front what he is and then he's like "how dare you call me out for what I am, you are low IQ for that".

keep at it fems! these fuckers need to leave the site.

again. do you really want whatever the fuck this is to continue spewing their bullshit?

[sweetrays]

About me: 

Just call me by my username I don't like using real names anymore

(bisexual transsexual male & 2 yrs on T) 

I write novels, short stories, and fanfiction

I draw novel illustrations and favorite characters

I'm autistic and therefore can be perceived  a little bit strange 

My dominant special interest fandom wise is Peter Pan stories. (Hook is my absolute favourite Peter Pan movie. You'll mostly see me talking about the character Rufio) 

I liked OUAT Peter Pan for a little while last year but it's not my thing anymore 

My other special interest is historical (mostly 19th century) fashion

A quick heads up:

I enjoy NSFW art, but I don't post any. There might be some reblogging of that here occasionally. 

A lot of the fanfictions I post are openly based off- have some sort of connection to my somewhat disturbing fetishes that involve characters dying or being hurt

I know some might not be comfortable with that.

If you'd like to be my friend please just skim through the readmore just in case you find my opinions distasteful. If you do, just block me I don't want trouble

My Internet Discourse Opinions

Stupid but very important in order to avoid ugly confrontations nowadays 🙁

"Proshipping" 

-the good pure holy shipping vs. icky yucky nasty evil creepy freak shipping stuff is bullshit. If you give me/a mutual shit over FICTIONAL ship your ass is getting blocked cause that's just a whole nother level of ridiculous. I do not condone the bullying and harassment that is so common in 'woke' fandom culture nowadays. It is disgusting that people are throwing around paraphilic accusations and words like p**o at innocent fanfiction authors who are just enjoying characters with no real malicious intentions. 

I come across ships on ao3 that absolutely disgust me on a day to day basis, even so, the last thing I'd want to do is be mean to the author/anyone who enjoyed that ship. That's because the author has just as much a right to write about just as I have the right to be uncomfortable. No character ship is illegal and people are allowed to be as gross or weird as they like as long as it remains fictional (which in 99.99% of cases no one is actively trying to encourage and/or normalising pairing that would be illegal irl) That's never how fandom, art, or fiction has ever worked. If you think otherwise, all I'm saying is you have some serious issues and you need help. 

When I write an age gap pairing I don't parade my fic around going "EVERYBODY START DATING YOUR FATHER!!" I tag with many warnings to avoid upsetting people who would be opposed to reading it + add a disclaimer explaining how I do not support such things in real life situations because I don't and neither does anyone else who ships 'problematic' things. 

Transgender discourse (neopronouns, etc) 

As a transgender male myself, I don't care what pronouns someone uses or what gender they claim to be. I am pro-block anti-harassment when I see someone I disagree with. 

However, I do block quite liberally when I see people saying that transgenderism is possible without dysphoria. Because it is not. Being trans is not a choice. Dysphoria is the cause of being trans. Even if it's just a tiny bit of dysphoria you are still valid. If you're a feminine presenting trans male, that is fine, if you're a masculine presenting trans female, that's fine too because even if you're trans you absolutely do not have to abide by society's confining gender stereotypes. 

But, if you are feminine presenting non-dysphoric afab going by he/him or a masculine presenting non-dysphoric amab going by she/her. That is not transgender. You just picked different pronouns. Which again, I don't care about the pronouns thing so whatever, but just please don't call that transgender because my brother in Christ, we are not the same. 

Therefore please leave me alone if: 

You have some sort of weirdly obsessive morality/legality bias against people minding their own business with character shipping in fandom

OR

Think that being trans is a choice. 

Thats all, have a nice day. Don't forget to block if you don't like me lol.

[gnometa233]

so im reading this paper on judaism and LGBT identities when it turns out...someone actually identifies as a bisexual lesbian. And I was curious about why, and this is what she said.

"I had a number of very significant relationships with men and didn’t feel like I could just toss those out. They were a part of who I was, too. So I really clung to that label (bisexual lesbian) for a long time. I think that it has actually made me in transition again now and I don’t know exactly to where. I think because I’ve been living longer, like I went through a significant breakup about a year and a half ago and just realized I can’t see myself ever going back to being with men. I think there is some kind of permanence to this that maybe feels like a new label, like I am shifting again.’’

And this to me is really interesting because it does frame the label as absolute bullshit and clinging to it for comfort. There are two conclusions to this, though.

A. She is still attracted to those men, but only has a preference for women (which is just bisexual, just making a choice of who you want to date)

B. Realizing she is no longer attracted to men and is coming out as a lesbian

Either way, it really shows that there is no need for the bisexual lesbian label. It's fluff that only serves to perpetuate biphobia and lesbophobia. I have no clue where this woman is now, considering the interview was done over 20 years ago, but it's really interesting.

EDIT: just found another quote from the article itself that was really interesting.

"We also did not distinguish issues for women (lesbian, bisexual lesbian, bisexual), men (gay, bisexual), and transgendered in our analyses."

Very interesting that "bisexual gay" does not exist and this phenomenon is only limited to lesbians. Sounds like misogyny and biphobia to me LOL

[thetacebellkit49]

I know no one is gonna ever see this so might as well get my feelings out here.

I’m gonna do something big on my birthday and that is talking, talking about college. I don’t want to go to college yet I’m stuck in it, I wasn’t prepared for it so quickly and I don’t want to go. I’m only 18 so why am I still being treated like a 5 year old that needs protecting. I don’t need protecting, or the fucking saying of “it’s for your own benefit/good.” WHAT I NEED IS FOR YOU, MY PARENTS TO UNDERSTAND THAT I AM NOT A LITTLE CONFUSED FUCKING CHILD ANYMORE. IF I DONT WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE THEN HELP ME GET A JOB OR SOMETHING THAT YOU KNOW I WOULD BE GOOD AT! JUST FUCKIN SUPPORT ME IN MY DECISIONS THATS ALL I WANT FROM YOU, THATS IT, I DONT WANT YOU TO BE PROUD I WANT YOU TO SEE ME, AND SEE THAT I CANT KEEP DOING THIS, I CANT. I can’t. I just want to live a life worthy enough for everyone to see all of me, the good, the bad, and yet the lines are blurred once again because I can’t take a jump leap and a skip to tell you to your faces.

The world is fucking ugly, yes, it’s unfair, fucking always, but I at least go looking for the good in it, whether it’s my friends or youtubers that I’ll never get to met but never fail to make me smile, they make the world better by just them being them and letting me be me. And no fault to you, you rase a part of me while figuring out parenting, and you did great. but you fail to understand that I’m a weird little short king nerd that’s Bisexual and is forcing the world to try to adept to me but failing forwards in doing it. I know all that the world has to offer and yet you can’t let me see it all? Becuase your scared that I’ll get hurt? I have to get hurt to learn, I’ll make mistakes that you’ll be disappointed in like owning a bike and risking my life to go super fast or getting tattoos or whatever but hey it’s my life, and it’s my choice to make those mistakes.....Cuz in your own words mom “life is a choice” and you know what I say to that “I rather live young and dumb, I’m here on this planet I’m this lifetime for a fun time not a long one” Everyone around me always says don’t say that or no you’ll live to a million years old, and try to steer the conversation elsewhere but I fucking mean it. I can learn new things yes, I can do all the boring shit in life like taxes and essays, absolutely. What I can’t do is the same routine of living for the weekend and grades for you to fuckin look at me and say “you can do better next semester but this is a start” LIKE I DID ALL THAT YOU ASK FOR MOST OF MY LIFE AND ILL I GET FOR TRYING MY BEST IS SOME HALF ASS BACKHANDED COMPLIMENT THINKING THAT IT’LL HELP ME TO BE BETTER!? IM NOT A ROBOT, IM YOUR FUCKIN DAUGHTER THAT YOU BOUGHT INTO THIS WORLD! I NEVER ASKED TO BE HERE TO BE BORN AND YET HERE I AM MAKING THE BEST OF YOUR HALF ASS BACKHANDED BULLSHIT FAKING A SMILE AND SAYING EVERYTHING IS FINE WHEN ITS NOT!!

If you ever said to a kid that just try your best on something and you not being proud of them trying their best on an test then you are a fuckin liar, not only to yourself but to your kid. I tried my best and you look at me and judged me for not getting the maximum grade possible, sorry that I’m not gonna go to nasa with perfect grades while I’m trying to live a life with people that keep me from going insane. Sorry for being a fuckin person trying to move passed your hurtful backhanded comments about me doing terrible in school or something else that makes me self conscious about myself. Sorry for always saying sorry to much. Sorry for not caring anymore about you or your expectations or your fuckin plan for my future that I should have more say in and not just you.

I’ve lost a lot in my 18 years of my own life, my beloved pet birds, my favorite legendary youtubers, my friendships that I couldn’t keep together, and one more to the list is you, for not respecting me and my decisions after I turned 17. My decision to skip college and let myself and my brain catch up and get myself together nope, you just walked in and said you go to college now. How stupid do you think you are in thinking that I actually want to go to college?? Just because I kinda like going to school as an elementary school student, I only liked it cuz of the teachers which only a few I liked and my friends, other then that everything else can suck my metaphorical nutsack. I have 2 reasons for not wanting to go to college, 1) WE CANT FUCKING AFFORD IT!! 2) I don’t need it fucking immediately. You can’t expect me to fucking do the same old shit that I did in high school and think that I’ll be fine, I’m not fine. I wasn’t fine before you forced me into college, I’ve told you multiple times that I want to do a gap year where I work on myself and do what I want to do and every fucking time you have said “get me a degree first” or “we’ll talk about it later” BUT WE NEVER FUCKIN DO CUZ YOUR SCARED OF THE OUTCOME OF THE CONVERSATION THAT I’LL MAKE MORE SENSE THAT I DO NEED A GAP YEAR FOR MYSELF AND WHAT I WANT TO DO! NO WHAT I NEED TO DO! I wasted more then enough time doing what you want, now let me do my own dumb stupid nerdy weird shit so then you can see me do something I love then a jobless fuckwit bitch that’s is in 100k+ in debt by the age of 20. I do not give a fuck about your opinion on the matter cuz it’s my life and where I want to take my life somewhere else besides 4 years for a fucking piece of paper that shows I can do something really well and not even get a job for it.

That’s it for now, I just needed to get that off my chest. I’ll add more to this the closer it get to my birthday... happy birthday to me

[the-proship-hellhole]

About Mod Niecest

Hello Hello! 

My name is Mod Niecest 

I am an adult. 30+ years old.

If you 100% absolutely must know: my pronouns are she/her 

I'm bisexual, for those that care about that shit

Yeah, no, you ain’t getting anything more personal out of me. 

A note of warning: I swear like Bakugo fucking Katsuki. You got a problem with it, you can fuck right off. 

Something to keep in mind : Mod Niecest is the self-designated asshole mod.

Your experiences may vary, depending on how you interact with me.

Some things to Know: 

I will interact with minors on a strictly SFW-basis.

If you are a minor, I WILL NOT discuss anything sexual with you.

However, PG-13 non-sexual acts of intimacy are completely on the table 

=====================

An Important Message to Antis 

I have absolutely ZERO tolerance for stupidity and bullshit. And yes, everything you do counts as stupidity and bullshit. 

Y’all have given me absolutely no reason to treat you nicely. You have harassed my friends, sent absolutely vile things to people, and just all around been pure cunts. 

This is your ONLY fucking warning. 

If you want me to be nice and not be hostile and condescending to you, YOU BETTER FUCKING SHOW ME YOU DESERVE IT. 

=====================

While I am not a self-shipper, I do have a self-insert OC that I ship with canon character of fandoms

Current OC/Canon Love Interests:

Dabi & Geten (My Hero Academia)

Seto Kaiba (YuGiOh)

Zane Truesdale (YuGiOh GX)

Jack Atlas (YuGiOh 5Ds)

Kite Tenjo (YuGiOh ZeXal)

Nie Huaisang (Mo Dao Zu Shi)

Byakuya Kuchiki  (Bleach)

Kanda Yuu (D.GrayMan)

Phoenix Ikki (Saint Seiya)

There's more because I'm a fandom slut, but those are the main ones.

=================

A Note About Tagging:

The tagging system I use is the only one you are getting out of me

If you ask me NICELY, I may add in some other tags for you

I don't use warnings in tags as I have heard way too much conflicting information on how they are supposed to be used.

In general, I will tag: fandom, ship name, characters, fandom problematic, problematic characters, Dead Dove, and anything else I feel is relevant. Don't like it? YOU CAN FUCK OFF.

As an added bonus : I use the Read More/Keep Reading feature.

If you have an issue with any of this, again, you can get bent over a cactus by another cactus.

[electricratlady]

My Walmart Gripes List

i worked at Walmart stocking shelves starting in 2020 as an 18 y/o and am about to quit as a 22 y/o, as soon as i have another job lined up.

i have endured endless bullshit and… interesting situations from customers and employees/management across the 4 stores i’ve worked at, and i want to catalogue as much as possible to emphasize how working retail (at least Walmart) is NOT WORTH IT.

(worth mentioning that as much as i’ve had bad experiences i’ve also met a lot of nice people and don’t hold anything against them or their reasons for continuing to work at Walmart.)

this is not going to be chronological, since i’m just jotting down these examples as they come to me, but i’m gonna specify which location i’m talking about with Store 1, 2, 3, and 4. also way too many to write at once so i’ll add as i have time/energy to.

let’s jump in!

1. Store 1– i applied and started my job in January 2020 less than a week before the infamous Toilet Paper Rush from Covid. people were so desperate we stopped stocking it on the shelves for a while and just left the pallets they shipped on out on the floor for people to take, and they’d be cleared within an hour or two.

2. Store 1– fuckin 5’3” ginger guy with tons of freckles and glasses came into work several times with a Sons of the Confederacy shirt, and a couple weeks later during a team meeting where we were asked to raise our hands if XYZ he full on did a nazi salute, then smiled and looked around to see if anyone noticed (i was the only one who noticed but managed to pretend i didn’t).

3. Store 1– this was before i was out as bisexual and well before i figured out i was trans. a coworker two years younger than me came up to me, kinda pointed at me, and randomly said “f*ggot?” and i couldn’t tell if i misheard him so i kinda awkwardly laughed and said “what?” and he said it again and i had absolutely no idea what to say, and he said “see, i knew it! i knew you liked men!” and walked away. never reported it cuz i was a dumb kid who was more just scared that someone possibly knew despite me being closeted. turns out! he didn’t know, he was just beefing with my brother on the high school football team and randomly decided to bring me into it.

4. Store 1– same kid as #3 hated doing his job and would often leave the aisle he’s stocking to wander to different aisles to chat with people, somehow never being disciplined for it despite everyone knowing. he even would walk and chat with the guy from our Subway as he took the Subway trash all the way to the trash compactor at the back of the store and back. Dude only got fired after he was adamant that Walmart was giving employees free Kleenex for Covid and walked out with a 4-pack after his shift without paying. dumb bitch.

5. Store 1– one coworker i thought was cool was in his late 20s and, despite very bad anger management issues, was very openly pro-LGBTQ+ and pro-worker’s-rights and would chat about it a lot. then one day we were both monitoring the front entrance to sanitize carts and count people going in/out (Covid protocols), and he told a story about his grandfather being robbed and him shooting the robber as they fled, and at the very end very casually dropped the n-word while laughing, then said “i’m sorry, but if you’re gonna do that shit, you deserve to be called it.” in retrospect i wish i said something to him or management but i didn’t want to risk being the target of his anger problems so i kinda just stopped talking to him.

6. Store 1– during one surge the people monitoring the front entrances had to tell people coming in that our town was a high-risk/concentration Covid area and tell people that we don’t mandate masks but still suggest them (even had some free paper ones up front for those who wanted them). i tried to be as polite and non-confrontational as possible when explaining each time but one bigger guy walking in genuinely just went “you wanna know what i think? FUCK YOU.” and laughed as he walked past me. made me feel shit for the rest of the day.

7. Store 1– this is a recurring theme at Walmart but certain employees love slacking off and don’t really get reprimanded for it as long as the jobs get finished by other people. still remember when we had a rough truck unload and i looked over as we were about to finish and saw two of the guys supposed to be helping (people who are PAID the same amount as ME who was BUSTING MY ASS) just sitting down for 5 minutes, with a look on their faces like “why aren’t you all done with this dumb bullshit yet?” one of those guys was also in my computer science class and was openly passive-aggressively homophobic there, so add that to the tally i guess.

[art-things-and-stuff]

Awwe, my first “hate?” Comment. Here’s how I responded to it.

Bro what? I am so fucking dumbfounded.

First of all, Lexa did not mistake Clarke for a prostitute. Clarke felt the need to say “I’m not a prostitute.” because she had *assumed* that the person in the flashy car was prowling the streets looking for someone to spend the night with.

I didn’t even mention Calrkes bisexuality. Hell, due to the the fact that you have terrible grammar, and sound like you need to be put into a mental hospital, I can’t even tell what it is you *think* you’re fighting for.

Are you saying that I shouldn’t have made Clarke Madi’s biological mother because she should only be with a woman, or are you saying that I shouldn’t have made her and Lexa meet because she bisexual.

Are you against bi people, or are you bi and against children… like what?

In either case, what does sex work have to do with it?

And also, both of those sound like very stereotypical textbook cases of biphobia. Either you think that a bisexual woman can’t have had past relationships with men and then enter a relationship with a woman, or you think that Clark should never have had Madi at all if she was just going to end up with a woman. I’m so fucking confused right now, I swear.

Clarkes bisexuality has nothing to do with the story line, just as Lexa’s lesbianism has nothing to do with the story line, and just as the color of my dogs hair has absolutely fucking nothing to do with the story line.

I included that line simply because Clarke thought that Lexa was trying to pick her up and have sex with her. She’s experienced people assuming that she was a sex worker before due to the fact that she’s a young woman who wanders the streets at night, and that there are a lot of shitty people in the world.

You’re pretending to care that Clarke *thought*, not “was mistaken for”, Clarke *thought* that Lexa was was mistaking her for a prostitute, when in reality you have a problem with the fact that she has a biological child.

Would you have written any of this bullshit if I had said Madi was adopted?

I mean they don’t even know each other yet, and you don’t know what my plans for the characters are, nor do you know why/under what circumstances Clarke had Madi. Why are you assuming anything about anything?

-I’ve reread your loony essay for the 4th time now and I still can’t understand what you were trying to express.-

If you had any common sense or had actually payed attention to the story, you would’ve realized that it was never that serious. The prostitution thing was never even brought up again. And if you knew anything about me at all (which you clearly and obviously do not) you would know that I have gone to bat for bisexual people a million times and I would gladly do it again.

The idea that bi people are more likely to cheat or are untrustworthy or are “whores” (which is a word I don’t even fucking use) pisses me off more than I can properly express.

Get a grip bro. Clearly you have some predetermined anger about this kind of thing, but nothing you have to say applies here. I would say that you read into it way too much but it’s not even that. You seem like you were just itching to yell at somebody about something and this is what you chose.

And by the way, I am in fact a lesbian, and the fact that you are questioning mine and other lesbians’ identities when you don’t know a single god damned thing about me is infuriating.

Yes, Clarke is bisexual, she is also a human fucking being who can do that she wants when she wants with whomever she pleases. She had a relationship with a man and ended up getting pregnant, because she was young, and didn’t practice safe sex. She decided to keep the baby, the guy she had sex with didn’t, Clarke has been raising her baby on her own. Now she’s met a woman.

Her having past relationships with men does not invalidate the part of her that is capable of falling for a woman, nor does the fact that’s she has a biological child.

Her now beginning to fall for a woman does not invalidate the fact that she was so in love with a guy that she trusted him enough to not use any kind of contraception, and the fact that if Clexa endgame wasn’t the goal of this story, she could very well fall in love with a man again in the future.

Her sexuality is not a plot device, it’s canon.

Also, I figure that I should let your weird ass know that I stopped watching The 100 almost immediately after Lexa died, the only reason I even knew that Madi existed was because of fan fiction.

This is an alternate reality. This is *my* story. (Yes, a story, a thing that isn’t real and has no grip on real life so does not fucking matter enough for you to go through all of this trouble). I promise you that I am not biphobic, nor do I give a fuck how you perceive my sexuality or whether or not you validate my lesbianism.

If you in don’t like the story then don’t fucking read it.

Get a life.

Jesus.

P.s I read your nonsense again (very slowly this time) and I think I understand now. You’re biphobic and you have a problem with the fact that Clarke had a relationship with a man and is now in a relationship with a woman, you would have preferred it if she had never interacted with any man at all, is that it?

I feel the need to remind you again that while she is a human being who can do as she pleases, and is a bisexual woman, who will fuck and fall in love with whomever she pleases. She is also, still A FICTIONAL CHARACTER.

Chill tf out.

[spencers-renaissance]

The Other Side of the Storm

Summary: Spencer & Luke are not out as a couple but have to attend the same FBI gala where a young, pretty agent insists on flirting with Luke. Misunderstandings and surprising reveals ensue.

Tags: relationship reveal, secret relationship, coming out, jealousy, caught, hurt/comfort, autistic spencer, angst with a happy ending, misunderstandings, found family, est. rel., cuddling & snuggling, domestic fluff

Pairing: Luke Alvez x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 2.7k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

Lets pretend I didn't just disappear for a couple of weeks bc I'm BACK now yay! This is written for a prompt from @ralvezhq who asked: "Ralvez is already dating but no one knows about them yet. they get invited to some sort of FBI gala and a young, accomplished female agent won’t stop flirting with luke and spencer is absolutely not having it so he finds a way to let everyone know they are together." -- I stuck to it except that they're caught rather than willingly confessing, I hope that's okay! I really enjoyed this one, so I hope you do as well.

!!!TW: the woman is very insistent on her flirting and makes Luke uncomfortable when she touches his chest without his consent!!!

“Any particular reason you keep looking over at that table full of Fugitive Task Force members, Spence?” JJ asks amusedly, sipping from her wine glass.

“Mm, I’ve noticed you looking over there a little bit,” Tara muses. “You got your eye on someone?”

Spencer looks down and forces a laugh, but he can feel the tips of his ears turning pink, and knows that he’s not gonna hear the end of this for the rest of the night. The team have never been fond of the FBI Galas they’re forced into attending every year, and unfortunately, Hotch’s usual stunt of pulling a non-urgent case from the stack and jetting off to some far-flung corner of the country to avoid it failed to fool the director this time.

He’d broken the news to them at the start of the week, and conversation in the bullpen has pretty much exclusively revolved around the event ever since. Even Penelope, who loves seeing people win awards and dressing up in her favourite full-glam outfits, has been significantly less upbeat. She only gave him one spontaneous hug all week.

None of them, though, have been dreading it more than Spencer. The others aren’t exactly fond of the faux smiles and convoluted politics and fake niceties either, sure, but tonight he has far more to lose than ever before. Namely, the man sat just out of his direct eye line at the Fugitive Task Force table.

Ironically, he and Luke had gotten ready for the same event together. They’d stood in the mirror side by side and tied one another’s ties in the way that always makes Spencer smile and Luke had gently brushed his hair out of eyes, but when it came time to leave, Spencer called a rideshare, and Luke drove the truck, arriving at completely different times in completely different vehicles.

The thing is, that as much as he loves his team, and as much as the FBI fraternisation policy has been significantly relaxed over the last few years, no one can know they’re together and have been for the last eight months.

Even the thought of Derek or Hotch or even JJ finding out — not only that he’s dating someone but that that person is a man — makes him feel queasy.

Which is why he smiles around an awkward cough and forces himself to meet the eyes of his profiler teammates, fighting every instinct in him to run, leg it out of here, never show your face again.

“No, I’m just looking at the clock above them,” he lies, and it isn’t smooth in any way shape or form but it’ll have to do. “You know I can’t wait for this to end. I haven’t read any Carl Jung in weeks.”

Tara laughs, raising her wine glass slightly. “Now that I understand.”

“Nah, I’m not so sure,” Derek grins slyly, “I think my man has his eye on some girl and he’s just getting a little shy, am I right, pretty boy?” He quirks an eyebrow playfully, leaning over to pat him on the back, and Spencer scrambles to recover.

“Believe whatever you’d like, Morgan,” he says, bringing his own glass to his lips to conceal any tells in his expression. “Doesn’t make it any less false.”

Thankfully, the conversation is interrupted by the Director clearing his throat into the mic on the stage as he introduces the next round of awards. Spencer loses himself in the anonymity of a dark room and a clapping audience, grateful that he’s avoided this round of interrogation.

The rest of the night progresses similarly. Spencer tries to keep his eyes away from Luke’s table — and valiantly attempts to keep from blushing like a schoolgirl when their eyes meet and Luke’s lips quirk upwards in an I-tried-to-stop-it-but-I-just-can’t kind of smile — and the rest of his team rib him pretty relentlessly about this ‘girl’ he supposedly has his eye on.

Hotch tries to get the team to leave him alone, but when a group of skilled, determined profilers all a little tipsy on wine and champagne encounter a friend’s mysterious love life, it’s pretty difficult to stand in their way.

Once dessert is served, though, things rapidly go downhill.

As much as he’s been trying to keep his eyes away from Luke’s table, it’s almost impossible to prevent his gaze from straying in a temporary moment of cognitive lapse every now and then, and while everyone is relatively quiet and occupied, digging into the Belgian waffle dessert, it happens once again. This time, though, instead of a small smile from Luke, he’s rewarded with the frankly heart-stopping sight of a young, pretty agent practically sitting in his lap, trying to feed him dessert.

He looks uncomfortable, and immediately Spencer is hit with an overwhelming wave of insecurity, jealousy, and an urge to protect that strangles his breath for a moment. He stares unabashedly, no longer caring whether anyone sees him because that’s his boyfriend and an extremely pretty woman is all over him and he looks like he wants her to stop, and oh my god, what does he do?

“Is that the girl you like all over that dude?” Derek asks sympathetically, catching onto Spencer’s staring. “It’s alright, man, if she’d choose someone else over you then she’s not right for you anyway. Why don’t you come and enjoy your dessert?”

Spencer senses the rest of the team’s eyes on him, but they don’t say anything, probably from a combination of pity, awkwardness, and confidence in Derek to counsel him through it. He’s hardly cognisant of that, though, instead a roar of emotion crashing through his mind, and he has no idea what to do about it.

When he sees a perfectly manicured hand land directly on Luke’s chest, though; when he sees Luke reject her more firmly, this time pushing her away; when he watches as she clearly gears herself up for some sad protest of self-victimisation, he sees red.

Before he can stop himself, he’s storming across the room over to Luke’s table. “Hi,” he says firmly, audibly pissed off and not in the mood for bullshit, “do you mind if I borrow my friend here? I have some official FBI business to discuss with him. Thanks.”

Without waiting for a response, he grabs Luke’s arm and leads him to the corridor outside the main hall, Luke following quickly and willingly behind him.

“Are you okay?” Spencer asks with his brow furrowed, his hand coming up to gently rest on Luke’s waist as he peers at him concernedly through the dim lighting of the hallway.

“Yes, baby, I’m fine,” Luke smiles reassuringly, raising a hand to Spencer’s face. “I’m sorry you had to see that. She was… persistent.”

“She shouldn’t have made you uncomfortable like that,” Spencer insists, still feeling distressed and anxious despite the immediate situation having been diffused.

“You’re right,” Luke agrees. “And she should’ve listened to me when I told her I was taken. I’m sorry you had to see someone flirting with me so openly like that, carinõ, I know you still get insecure about things like that.”

Spencer sighs, relaxing slowly the more he hears Luke’s voice as steady and strong and kind as it always is. He steps forward and buries his face in Luke’s neck as he nestles in close for a comforting hug.

“You know I only have eyes for you, right, sweetheart?” Luke whispers softly, one arm holding his waist and another tangling itself in Spencer’s loose curls.

He nods into Luke’s neck, but doesn’t make any move to pull away, just enjoying the warmth and closeness of standing so intimately with the man he loves until—

“Spencer!” Derek’s voice pulls him violently from his sweet escape from reality and horror instantly floods him as he jerks away from Luke, staring at Derek in a nauseating mixture of alarm and trepidation.

“What…” Derek stares right back at him as both JJ and Tara come tumbling through the doors behind him, looking ready for a fight—

Oh. That makes sense. They all saw him storming towards a woman they thought he had a crush on, then pull the man she was flirting with out into the most secluded corridor surrounding the hall. Even considering Spencer’s character, he has to admit that the circumstances definitely look like he was gearing up for a fight, and everyone knows that he is not the kind of person who could hold his own against an ex-military man who chases down criminals for a living.

“You’re… not fighting him,” Derek says hesitantly, the puzzle pieces clearly falling into place for him.

Spencer shakes his head minutely, and is only thankful when Luke inches closer and wraps an arm around him. After all, he has nothing more to lose.

“You were looking at him, not her,” Derek continues slowly.

Spencer nods, unable to meet the eyes of any of the three friends standing in front of him.

“You’re dating him,” he says, still sounding shocked, his voice almost entirely numb. “You’re gay.”

“Or bisexual,” Tara offers, and Spencer takes a little comfort in the fact that she doesn’t sound shocked or upset, her voice warm and helpful. He tries to meet her eye, but he can’t work up the courage and buries closer into Luke’s embrace instead.

“Gay,” he whispers.

“Spence,” JJ says quietly, earnestly, “why didn’t you tell us?”

It’s too much to go into right now, too convoluted and long of a story for him to explain when even choking out a single syllable takes a herculean effort, so he shrugs instead.

“We were talking all night assuming you were interested in a woman,” Derek says numbly, more to himself than anything, but Spencer watches out of the corner of his eye as he shakes off the shock and comes back to himself, slowly putting more of the puzzle together as he looks at Spencer. “That’s why you didn’t tell us. We’ve been making assumptions all this time and hurting you in the process.”

“Oh, Spence,” JJ whispers sadly, stepping a little closer.

“I’m so sorry, pretty boy, I— I should’ve known or tried to be more inclusive at least, I’m so sorry I made you feel like this.”

The regret in his friends’ voices and the absence of a negative reaction brings him out of the safety of Luke’s arms slightly. His boyfriend is eyeing him with serious concern, and he tries a smile to reassure him a little, squeezing his hand.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he manages, clearing his throat awkwardly as he finally succeeds in making eye contact. “It’s a long story and I’ll tell you another time, but, uh​​— this is Luke. We’ve been together for eight months, two weeks, and four days.”

Luke smiles fondly. “As much as we didn’t expect to reveal it like this, it’s nice to meet all of you properly,” Luke says warmly, shaking everyone’s hands quickly before stepping back to Spencer and interlocking their fingers, pressing a quick but meaningful kiss to his temple.

“I’m really glad you felt able to share this with us, Spence,” Tara says encouragingly, smiling at him in that bright, reassuring way of hers that rivals Penelope in the warmth and comfort it radiates. “I’m proud of you.”

Something about her reaction this entire time has him wondering whether she already knew. He’ll ask her later when he feels less like his heart is still firmly lodged in his throat.

“Me too, kid,” Derek agrees, smiling as well. Spencer wonders whether the initial shock and numb reaction was more a response to his own behaviour than anything about him and Luke, and the thought makes him feel substantially better.

JJ grins, stepping forward and grabbing Spencer’s other hand. “Me three.”

Before anyone can say anything else, the doors are opening again and Penelope is flying through them.

“Oh! Thank god you’re all okay! You just ran off after Spencer and I left you guys to it because I thought you could handle it better than I could but then you didn’t come back and even Hotch was worried, and—” she cuts herself off as she realises everyone staring at her, and slowly she takes in the scene around her. “Oh my god, I’ve missed something. Oh my god, I missed a moment, didn’t I? What have I told you guys about having moments without me? Someone tell me what happened, please, before I explode—”

“Alright, Penelope,” Spencer chuckles, interrupting her. He’s known her for too long to expect her to cut herself off when she’s on a tirade like that. “Uh, this is Luke. My boyfriend.”

“Your… your boyfriend? Oh my god, I finally get to meet him? Wait you told the others? Oh my god I’ve missed so much!”

“Penelope knew?” Derek asks, surprised.

“Half of mine and Spencer’s mutual friends are FBI Agents, and the other half are drag queens, of course I knew,” Penelope dismisses him, “but he wasn’t ready for me to meet his boyfriend yet or even know his name and I very nicely did not go hunting to find him out because I could’ve done that, but I didn’t, because I value you so much as a friend, Spencer, and I’m so glad you finally—”

“Penelope!” Spencer interjects, laughing even more as the tension and distress he’d felt only minutes ago finally melts away fully. “Do you actually want to introduce yourself to Luke, or do you want to keep rambling about drag queens?”

“Right! Yes!” she says eagerly, turning to Luke. “I’m Penelope and it is so nice to meet you, like you don’t even know how much I’ve wanted to meet the man who has my blueberry muffin blushing bright pink in the corner of my batcave while he texts on the phone, and I know you call him carinõ because I saw a text once and it’s the sweetest nickname ever, you are just the cutest, and we are going to be best friends—”

Spencer rests his head on Luke’s shoulder as he listens fondly to Penelope rambling and his friends chatting amongst themselves and everyone getting to know the most important man in his life — the only man he’s ever wanted anything long term with, the only man he’s ever wanted to actually marry one day — and a warm, sweet feeling of contentment floods his chest.

It’s far from the way he thought he’d feel after the team found about Luke, and he savours it, holds it in his mouth for as long as he can before swallowing the memory and filing it away to treasure forever. A moment like this deserves that kind of reverence.

“How are you feeling about tonight?” Luke asks gently as they crawl into bed, tired but happy at gone 2am. He pulls Spencer into his side as soon as they’re under the duvet, resting his chin on his head as he always does.

Moments like these make Spencer smile, the kind of familiar routine that’s so essential to their relationship. Luke had figured out early on that close physical contact and firm touches make him feel safe and settle his racing mind, so they’d worked out positions that made them both feel comfortable, and now relaxing into them is second nature.

“A bit weird,” Spencer admits after thinking for a moment. “I’m happy that they know now and everyone took it well, but it’s strange. A significant part of who I am has been not only that I’m gay, but the dedication I felt to protecting that secret. And now that it’s out, it feels like something private has been bared for my friends to inspect.”

“I think that’s only natural,” Luke muses quietly, pressing a kiss to Spencer’s curls. “It’ll take some getting used to, but you’ll adjust eventually.”

Spencer sighs. “Yeah, you’re right. After I tackle telling Hotch and Rossi, it’ll be nice not to have to hide it. I’ll be able to talk about you at work and maybe even go crazy and put a photo of you on my desk.”

“Wow, that is wild, check you out,” Luke chuckles, before they settle into a comfortable silence in the warm glow of their bedroom. Eventually, he speaks up though, quiet and reverent. “I’m proud of you, carinõ. I really am.”

The words instantly make Spencer smile, a light blush tinging his ears again. He hides his face in Luke’s chest, scooching impossibly closer into his arms. “I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you, too, Spencer,” Luke replies, a happy sigh in his voice.

He reaches over and turns off the bedside lamp. His hand returns to Spencer’s hair and something clicks into place somewhere, a fundamental alignment of the universe that brings a feeling of something so incredibly right as their breathing rhythmically matches to one another and they slide into the welcome embrace of sleep.

I hope you enjoyed that! I had a lot of fun with this one. If anyone has any more ralvez relationship reveal prompts, feel free to send them my way!

Taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @hotchseyebrows @reidology @spencerspecifics @tobias-hankel @marsjareau @hotchscotchh @oliverbrnch @im-autistic @thataveragenerd @anxious-enby @kuolonsyoja @ropoto @cmily @nudgerox @love-pyramus @notevanbuckley @downwiththedoorpoole @nomajdetective (Add yourself to my taglist here!)

[vaspider]

I have a question, and you seem to be very good at explaining things. My understanding is that transfemme/transwoman/femme? are all the same, and mean someone who was assigned male at birth, and currently identifies as transgender. And the same for transmasc/transman/masc. Just, yknow, the other way around. Is that correct? Or am I getting my terminology wrong? I've always been kinda shakey on that, but wasn't sure who to ask without seeming rude, or like I was mocking them.

"Femme" is a word with multiple meanings. It can mean:

"Woman" - since it's just the word 'woman' in French, and this is where all of the other meanings come from.

"A femme lesbian, that is, someone who fits the 'femme' dynamic or presentation within a butch/femme relationship, or simply on their own." - This is regardless of actual gender, pronouns, cis, trans, whatever. Butch and femme in this context come to us from Polari, which is a theater cant from the UK commonly used by Travellers, theater people, sex workers, and queer folx (and all the intersections thereof). The butch/femme dynamic in lesbian (and gay!) relationships and communities goes back at least seventy-five years. This has way more context to it than I can cover in this, but, like, if you look at movies like Paris Is Burning or read any of the older lesbian zines, you'll see many many examples.

"A transfeminine person, that is, someone who was assigned male at birth and is moving in a feminine direction with their transition, or presents feminine rather than masculine OR a person who presents feminine regardless of gender." - 'Femme' is often used as a catch-all term for anyone who is "femme of center" when discussing gendered issues. This can include cis women, femme non-binary people regardless of gender at birth, binary trans women, and many other varieties as well.

You'll sometimes see "women and femmes" used to describe who belongs in a particular space, but this is falling out of favor, thankfully, as it was often used as a low-key misgendering of AFAB non-binary people and trans men. What people usually meant by that is "people with vaginas and also trans women I guess," and it ended up with a sort of 'woman lite' implication for the word 'non-binary' and excluding non-binary people who didn't present feminine enough (usually meaning 'they have a dick and are non-binary'). The whole phrase is a mess and I'm glad we're moving more toward talking about "marginalized genders."

My wording on this may not be perfect, and it may not match every single use of femme as other people understand it -- and I'm sure I've forgotten some usages of it. The point is that it's a contextual word. What it means often depends on the conversation at hand, who's having the conversation, what community they're part of (whether that's the lesbian community, the queer community, the trans community, what region or country they're from... ), etc. If you're confused by someone's use of 'femme' contextually, it doesn't hurt to ask for more information. (Though I would avoid saying things like 'define femme' bc that's often the sort of thing that TERFs and the baby-TERF exclusionists do, and you may come off unintentionally as one of them. Asking 'hey, I know this word has lots of contextual different meanings, would you mind clarifying for me' is probably better.)

That's one thing, honestly, I think we need to get a lot better at as a community -- and here I know I'm going on a tangent -- recognizing that a lot of our words are contextual, lots of them don't have single, fixed, universally-recognized meanings, that the US isn't the single defining experience of queerness and other countries use other terms which are as correct as ours, and that even regionally there are lots of different terms or slightly different definitions. This sort of dogmatic 'there is absolutely only one definition, and it's mine, and I'm going to redefine your experience and your identity if it doesn't fit my definition' is something I've seen far too much of lately, especially from younger queer folx.

I know it's like, really tempting to want to have singular rigid definitions for every word, but that doesn't fit people's experiences of gender or sexuality, and the trend I've seen toward literally telling people "you are not X, your experience doesn't fit X, you are Y," is some nasty-ass stuff and it really needs to stop. I've seen it most often with younger lesbians telling older (in some cases decades older) lesbians "you're wrong, you're bisexual/pansexual, you're not a lesbian," but I've also seen it with gender, people telling others what their gender is, and that's the shit that TERFs and other transphobes do, we can't be doing that to each other.

Anyway, femme means a lot of things, depending on context. Ask people if you're not sure. And before I hit post on this, let me make clear that I don't tolerate discourse around whether butch and femme are "lesbian exclusive" terms. They are not, they never have been, and if someone comes into my notes trying to start that old bullshit up again, they will not get the serotonin of a reply from me. They will get blocked without response.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

what about some kup x springer? that old geezer needs to be plowed hard and good!! :3c

Ayyye I got you king, you fuckin' got it.

Kup has been around the block. He's seen monsters big and small, been in the coldest climates and under the most scaliding suns. But not ONCE has he seen such bullshit. He was in charge of making sure the new wrecker wannabes did their daily trainings, and of course, once mech had to ruin it for the rest of them.

And that mech was Springer. Kup had to head out to check on something (on request of Ultra Magnus), and instead of doing rounds, he caught his team looking at dirty magazines. Now don't get Kup wrong, he knew what was on a young mechs processor, and it was plenty healthy. When they were on their own time.

"But when it's distracting the rest of the team, that's when it is a problem. This is what you save for the barracks, kid."

Someone had snitched, revealing that they belonged to Springer. The hot shot triple changer who was easy on the optics, hard on the processor. It was why he was in his office, uninterested as Kup scolded him. Springer shrugged.

"What? You were gone, we were bored. And these are new! It's just mechs having fun."

"Training first, playtime later."

"Wow, prude much?"

"I don't give a scrap if you all have an orgy back there, I really don't. I need you-"

Springer threw his hands up, as if in disbelief.

"As if you give us enough time to HAVE an orgy back there. I think you're just so bitter that YOU don't get laid, you're spikeblocking the rest of us!"

Kup had to take a second to absorb all this bullshit. He pulled a cygar from his desk, lit it, then took a long inhale. There was no common sense in this kid, no reasoning with him. He exhaled slowly, letting the smoke fill the immediate area.

"Alright. Alright. You wanna play this game, do ya kid? We'll play that game. You get to be transferred to Ultra Magnus-"

"His unit SUCKS! Kup come on, you're blowing this out of proportion!"

Kup scoffed. He knew kid was gonna play hard ball. He picked up the magazine, using it to lightly smack Springer on his forehead.

"Alright. Then ya aft gonna face some punishment."

He made him get up, and handed him the magazine in question. Springer looked confused as Kup laid his body on the desk.

"What...am I supposed to do?"

"Manual labor. And you are NOT gonna stop until I say so."

Springer had more questions, obviously, until Kup spread his legs, and popped open his valve panel. Kup thought this was a bad idea, as it might ruin his reputation, but when he felt Springer ran his hand up his back, Kup knew he'd definitely have worst ideas.

"I knew you were in need of a spike, but damn going so far as to take advantage of a lil' recruit? For shame, sir."

Kup felt him lean over and place that magazine in front of them, showing a rather lewd imagine of a fem, huge chasis, playing with her valve folds. Right, bisexual. More chances for this young mech to act like a turbo fox in heat. With his hands free, he held onto Kup's hips, grinding his panel against his aft. Kup laid there, letting him get a good feel for his frame, while he took another inhale of his cygar.

"Because I leave this kinda punishment for morons like you. Trust me, it's not easy as-"

He was silenced when he felt that spike rub against him. Springer was stupid, sure, but he was right about one thing; Kup REALLY needed a nice spike. And from the size that he felt pressed against him, he was about to get just that.

"Sir, with all due respect, shut up."

Maybe it was because Kup had been looking through the magazines earlier. Maybe it was because he was excited by the idea of a young, fit stud fucking him. Either way, his valve was wet enough for Springer to push himself in effortlessly. Springer seemed to like the somewhat tight fit, given the chuckle that escaped his throat. Springer moved himself back and forth, not to be nice, but because he wanted to get a nice feel for his new valve.

"Good fit, eh?"

Springer leaned over Kup, swiping the cygar from his lips, smirking as he held it in his teeth.

"Not bad, definitely not bad. Gonna feel better once I get you whimpering though, old man."

Springer leaned himself back up, slowly pushing himself back and forth, as if the motion was foreign to him. Just when Kup was about to complain, Springer finally picked things up a bit, grabbing his hips firmly to push and pull Kup onto his spike. Kup groaned in relief. This was more fucking like it.

"Was starting to think you were scared of hurtin' me there, kid."

"Pfft. Hurting YOU? You're like an old bridge. You can take a lot more pressure."

Kup was about to bark at him for calling him old, when he slammed himself fully inside, making Kup stiffen on the spot. Springer laughed, removing the cygar from his mouth in order to blow smoke in Kup's direction. Kup turned to look at that stupid, smug smile of his. Kid was so cocksure, it was precious.

"That right? Well, go ahead, see how much pressure I CAN take."

"As you command, sir."

He gave him a mock salute, and after putting the smoke back into his teeth, he dug his servos into his hips again, and started to move, properly. As in, he started to plow right into his valve, metal clanking against metal, fluids cascading from their legs and onto the floor. Kup was loving it, reaching one hand down to rub at his little node. Oh it had been ages since he had a young, strong stud to fuck his valve.

"Don't hear ya talkin' slag back there, kid."

What he WAS hearing was Springer panting behind him, exhaling smoke as if he were a freight train. Poor guy wasn't used to handling having a seasoned pussy to pound, and he was making it pretty fucking obvious.

"S-shut up. Primus shut up."

"Aw, am I too much for ya to handle? You like fragging this 'old bridge'? You wanna overload in me? Well,"

He stood up, pressing his back to the other's chest, and stole his cygar from his mouth.

"You overload, right inside of me."

Then he pressed his lips against his. Kup bought good smokes, but something about the way they came from a young mechs lips- made them taste even better. Springer grabbed onto Kup's massive thighs, and overloaded. Kup let himself be filled with overload, before he pushed Springer's lips away, even being sweet enough to wipe the drool free from his lip. Springer chuckled, patting his thighs.

"Slag old man...you ain't have bad. This was fun."

"Was? Kid, you're kiddin'. We're just starting."

Kup reached behind him, grabbed Springer's legs, and pulled. It sent Springer to the floor, right on his back. Then Kup helped himself to round two, sitting down right on that spike, and starting to bounce on him. Springer was writhing on the floor, trying to grab anything in hopes to have something to grip on.

"FUCK OLD MAN!-"

Springer wasn't handling his spike being abused like this. And primus was it cute. Kup groaned loudly in content, and a puff of smoke somehow only made it better. He didn't even bother looking behind him. Not yet.

"Aw, what's wrong? Thought I was just an old mech who needed some spike? Thought YOU were the young mech to give it to me, eh?"

"Y-you're going f-fast-"

Oh Springer's hips kept bucking against him, more out of reflex than his actual want for more stimulation. Was it a bit much for the mech? Sure, but Kup didn't care. Not when it felt SO good in his soaked, soiled valve.

"That's it. Twitch in me. Gimme another load, same you'd do for your little magazine gal."

Springer finally acted like a proper solider, and obeyed. His hips bucked up, and he overloaded yet again. Kup swore his optics rolled to the back of his head as he finally got his own overload. Oh his valve ached. And he wanted more. He spun around on his spike, hand pressed on Springer's hot chest. Poor Springer.

Drooling, steaming, absolutely soaked in condensation. His optics looked hazy, his mouth agape as he panted.

"S-shit Kup. I'm...I can't do anymore. Primus say we're done. Please."

"Not a chance. This is your punishment kid. You ain't leavin' till you've learned your lesson. And you know me,"

He pulled himself off his spike, only to SLAM himself back down, making Springer toss his helm back as he cried out. Kup tried not to chuckle, but he just couldn’t help himself.

"I'm a through teacher~"

[blackswallowtailbutterfly]

Female Separatism

Fuck it. Before this topic blows up again, as it always does and I'm seeing the stirrings, I’m making a post on this controversial topic.

What is female separatism? Women living free from men. That’s it. That’s all it means. There’s no hidden meaning there. It literally just means women living free from men.

Lesbian separatism is a subset, but is, as the name implies, for lesbians only. Whether they admit febfems or not I guess would be at their discretion. Either way, I wouldn’t be a part of it because I am het, so I’m not going to go into that. But other female separatist spaces would be open to opposite-sex attracted and same-sex attracted women alike.

So how does that work? Well, on a small scale, it’s women’s shelters, housing, etc.. You know, female spaces. We’re all good with that, right? We all agree women should have some spaces that men don’t get access to? Cool.

On a larger scale, yeah, it would be land that women live and work on, and men do not. It’s not like we’re going to get half the physical planet surface to ourselves either, so what we’re looking at is several areas that are ours. Like women’s only villages, and some already exist which is way cool. Each of these can be run differently. Some may admit male children and some may not. Some may have smaller areas designated for temporary use for women fleeing male violence with male children in tow until they can get on their feet. Some may admit male visitors who are family or friends for holidays or whatnot, with a sign-in policy and strict rules imposed while they are there. Others may not, and that’s fine! There can be many kinds of female spaces but the point is only women and girls live and work there and only women run the place.

What it does not mean is that every woman has to live in a female space, as if we could allot enough areas for all of us. It does not mean every woman has to live in one or else turn in her feminism card. It does not mean women who live there cannot leave. It doesn’t mean women who live there can’t come and go as they please!

It also doesn’t mean women who don’t stay there permanently, choosing to never have male visitors, and never leaving the area, are to be scorned and shamed as stupid. The wish to have a romantic/sexual partner is very strong, whether you’re at risk of your partner abusing you or at risk of the state punishing you. Clearly that’s something humans still want and crave. How much of that is socialization which upholds romantic love as the end all and be all, and how much simple biology we don’t know, except that it’s clearly both in some capacity. We don’t need to be nasty to one another about it. But it also doesn’t mean that het women who do choose to forego all interactions with men are giving up something profound. A fulfilling life absolutely can be had without a lifelong romantic partner. But each woman needs to make her choice about that on her own. Giving advice and presenting options are fine. Shaming women for giving into a very powerful desire that the vast majority of humans have is not.

It also doesn’t mean lesbian and bisexual women need to give up dating and sex just because het women can’t date or have sex with anyone in these areas. If you want to have sex with a man, you can leave, have sex, and then come back. If you want to date a man, you can leave and date him, and then come back again if it doesn’t work out. Within the area, you can also masturbate and read/write het romance novels/watch movies and TV shows with het romances, whatever you want. It’s okay. You just can’t bring a boyfriend/husband there to live. That’s all.

And it doesn’t mean that smaller scale female spaces such as women’s shelters suddenly stop existing! So, yes, women with male babies at the breast will still have some place to flee to.

And here’s the thing also, for women still worried that separatism means abandoning other women, and for women who believe men can be reformed: separatism gives men something to worry about. The law is more often than not on the side of men, we know this. It’s not much of a deterrent for violence against women and girls, sexual or otherwise. But if places exist where women can literally just up and go and stay away and be protected by people who absolutely will not under any circumstances buy the man’s bullshit against her, well, men had better behave like decent people then if they want women to stick around, hadn’t they?

As for men trying to get into the spaces, well of course they’ll try, but that’s no reason not to have sex-segregated bathrooms or shelters; you just have to keep supporting the ones that don’t let them in.

Anyway, we need separatism, that’s not even a debate. Not every woman or even every feminist is going to want to be a part of those spaces and that is okay. But we, collectively, women, we need separatism. We need it for the women and girls who want to be away from men right now, and for any woman or girl who decides it later in life, and even for women and girls who don’t want to, just so they know they have the option.

That’s it. Maybe radblr can stop going for one another’s throats over this and then we have some productive discussion on how to make this work.