#abuse mention

[thefloatingstone]

Watching the "Making of" feature for Disney's 'Wish' where they go on and on about how amazing Walt was and how much he loved stories and fantasy and I'm having big feelings in the discord chat about it

[slowlyvaliantmoon]

So I was talking to a friend about Ford and his comparison to Icarus, seen in Journal 3 and often in the fandom, was brought up. For some reason I was too tired to type a response and instead made a short video about it... so here it is! (Until I finish making an actual video) my first non-livestream video on the slowlyvaliantmoon channel: Why I disagree with the "Ford Pines is Icarus" metaphor.

I hope it makes sense and I hope you enjoy :).

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

can we ask about ur family's curse

according to my great grandma it was cast on her grandma by a neighbor with the evil eye - "your daughters will marry their fathers and your sons will become them"

which is really just a fancy way of describing the cycle of abuse and therefore worked very well, generally going into effect before the kid in question turned 21

so my matrilineal family tree winds up a fractured, miserable mess, lots of young marriages and parents falling apart generation after generation, serial toxic marriages with generations of kids scattered across the whole state in foster homes - very nasty stuff

until it gets to me (firstborn in my generation of cousins) and by the time im twenty one i am 1. both daughter and son and neither 2. extremely aspec and queer

which apparently this neighbor did not conceive of when casting her eye and seems to have simply error messaged the curse into oblivion. no one born after me has had this problem. all their romantic relationships are loving (though i would never claim them perfect) and their children adored. fairytale loopholed so hard the damn thing disintegrated. its the funniest magic story i have lmao

[teaboot]

When I was a kid, I regularly lost reading privileges for "having an attitude" and "acting out".

It wasn't as simple as being told not to read during other activities- one of the first times it happened, I remember being six years old, watching my stepfather pull fistfuls of books off my bookshelf and throw them to the floor in a heaping mess while I cried and asked him to stop.

It was weird. Every other adult I knew described me as exceptionally well-behaved, but at home, it was the opposite, and it was blamed on "learning bad habits from that shit you're reading".

Because I couldn't read at home, I spent all my free time at school in the library, reading with my friends.

When I grew up and moved away, I realized that my family life was toxic and abusive, and the "attitudes" I was being punished for were standing up for myself, standing up for my younger siblings, and resisting actual, real-life psychological abuse. Because I'd learned from what I'd read that my family wasn't normal, not like my parents said it was, and in my stories, the heroes were the people who spoke out when it was hard to.

It is insane to me that there are students right now who can't access books. It is insane that books are being outlawed. It is perverse that we are stealing away an entire generation's ability to contextualize their lives, to learn about the world around them, to develop critical thinking skills and express themselves and feel connected to the world or escape from it, whatever and whenever and however they need.

That is not how you raise a compassionate, thoughtful, powerful society.

That's how you process cattle.

It's fucking disgusting.

[tranquil-slaughterhouse]

[a-darling-thing]

Like I 100% appreciate why so many people wish they could hug Astarion right after he finally stops the ritual, kills Cazador and takes back his freedom, but as someone who has been through some shit ™ l honestly think the way the game decided to handle that was right.

When you are in that really delicate phase of coming out the back side of a chronic abuse situation and you have just had to face down your abuser (and almost been revictimized), and your nervous system is that keyed up, a hug is like the last thing you need.

I mean the poor guy has just stabbed Cazador like 20 times in a frenzied fit of grief and rage and is still standing there covered in his blood, sobbing in relief, and in a complete daze. He’s talking by the time you leave the palace, but he’s clearly not ok (thanks again for your stunning voice work Neil Newbon).

I would personally feel like a hug was something I just had to endure to make the other person happy. I think Astarion would probably snappishly draw a firm boundary, with one of his terse ‘don’t touch me.’s, cause he’s actually pretty good at that. But still…. Why make him have to muster the energy for that after everything he’s just been through. The hugs can come later.

In reality the hugs would probably come days, weeks or months later, but like ‘game pacing’, so I think having that gap of time where Astarion gets to talk to Tav about it all before the graveyard scene, hit a happy balance that gave at least the impression of the passage of time and that he had begun to process it all.

I do actually agree with others that have said him proposing sex with Tav that soon after the whole business also seems unrealistic, but again, the writers had to pace his full story to fit within the timeframe of the game, and I felt they did alright given those constraints.

This is all personal opinion, mind, and opinions may differ, but I like how they handled it.

[reasonsforhope]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but especially with the end of the school year coming up soon, and a bunch of people about to leave high school or about to leave college, I just wanted to say:

Being an adult can be really nice, actually!!!

Like, okay, yeah, life can be fucking stressful sometimes, and there's definitely an annoying amount of paperwork.

But me and just about every single adult I know will agree: I would never choose to go back to being a teenager, even if I somehow could.

Insert obvious disclaimer that nothing is universal. But for people worried about aging or graduating into the next chapter of life, here's some words of reassurance:

When you're a teenager, your brain is extra mean to you. Like, neurologically. All of the changes it's undergoing really, really increase rates of depression/anxiety/etc. A lot of the time, literally just not being a teenager anymore is really good for your mental health

Less than five months out of high school, everyone I knew my age was like "Thank fuck we're no longer in high school." Once you leave high school and adolescence there's really just such a dramatic drop in petty bullshit. Shit that would have been a huge social humiliation or gossip in high school is really often just like, "Hate that for you, man." Boom, done.

When you're a teenager or a brand new adult, you're encountering so many problems for the first time ever. When you're older, you just. Have learned how to handle a lot more things. You know what to do way more often and that builds confidence

When you're an adult, other people generally don't care if you don't do things perfectly, because jobs and life don't work like grades. This was such a trip to learn, honestly? But when you are an adult or have a job the bar for success is usually just "Did you do the thing?" or "Did you do the thing well enough that it works?" or "Did you show up to work for your whole shift and look like you were doing things?"

Similarly, if you're about to graduate college and you're really stressed about it, fyi just about everyone I knew in college ended up very quickly going "wow, 'real life' is way easier." Admittedly I went to a school full of very stressed out perfectionists and the like, so I can't promise this is universal, but there's a very real chance that life will in many ways get easier when you graduate

WAY MORE CONTROL OF YOUR OWN LIFE

Literally I cannot overstate that last point. As an adult, you are (barring certain disabilities or shitty circumstances like abusive family/the criminal justice system/etc.) able to make most of your own decisions. If you want to rearrange your furniture, you can. If you want to eat tater tots at midnight, you can. If you want to get yourself a little treat, you can. You can sign contracts and make your own legal and medical decisions and not need a parent or guardian signature for just about anything ever again

You generally learn how to give fewer fucks

The people around you have also generally learned how to give fewer fucks

Even when things are shitty, being able to choose what kind of shitty a lot of the time can really be worth an awful lot

[aintnopartylikeaprideparty]

as someone who has experienced abuse from someone with a personality disorder, it's actually incredibly easy to not dehumanize everyone with a personality disorder. i've seen people do borderline eugenic rhetoric surrounding people who have npd, aspd, bpd or other personality disorders, and then be like "I'M allowed to say these things because i'm a survivor, and if you disagree you are hurting abuse victims."

and frankly? i'm tired of it. as an abuse survivor i'm here to say that you're NOT allowed to turn into a fucking eugenicist the moment you're hurt by someone with a personality disorder.

does hurting and belittling other people who happen to have the same disorder as your abuser, people that are already suffering and that are already looked down on by society, bring you any healing? does it bring you peace?

Being hurt by someone isn't an excuse to hurt others that you feel justified in lashing out on. you're literally in control of your own actions,

you may claim to be making a safe space for abuse survivors, but i will never feel any solidarity with you, and i ESPECIALLY don't feel safe with you considering i might have a personality disorder.

you are excluding a large amount of abuse survivors in the name of "advocacy". a lot of people with personality disorders developed one or multiple due to heavy abuse. in the aim of creating a safe space, you are excluding the ones who need a safe space the most.

[clairevberry]

vampires as metaphors for temptation/desire is cool and all but what about vampires as a metaphor for cycles of abuse? someone who was abused and exploited a long time ago in the process of becoming a vampire and now is the abuser, someone who turns another into a vampire in desperate desire for companionship and begins to understand why the vampire who turned them did it. a never ending tragic cycle that spans centuries

[infinite-beginnings]

The line when Charles said, "Edwin's told me loads of stories about Hell," and him seeming to know he'd find a map in Edwin's book always hits me hard.

Now I acknowledge Charles might’ve been posturing to reassure the Night Nurse he could navigate Hell, but let's assume this fact was real.

Because that means that Edwin felt comfortable enough to talk about all of his trauma to Charles. He mentions Hell a lot in passing in front of the girls, but he never goes into specifics. However, it seems as if he actively told Charles quite a few details about Hell. I also noticed that Charles is very calm when he's going to find Edwin. Yes, he's studying the book a lot, but he is also navigating the space with a certain amount of confidence. I'm sure it's partially due to Charles' tendency to do things without thinking and project confidence. But also, it seems as if he might have at least a very basic level of knowledge or familiarity with the levels of Hell based on the stories Edwin told.

I think this is probably another reason why Edwin struggled to believe the fact that Charles had faced abuse in his past and never shared it with Edwin. Because Edwin was always up front and honest with Charles. He told him the very first time they'd met that he had just escaped Hell. I'm sure Edwin did not want to relive his memories of Hell, and maybe it took him decades to feel like he could share. But I bet when he started talking about it with Charles, he felt relief. Because sharing your trauma with someone who accepts you and loves you no matter what is always a relief after holding it in and pushing it down.

So I just imagine Edwin feeling that relief after sharing his stories from Hell and feeling closer and more bonded with Charles because of it...and then he finds out that Charles has this huge amount of trauma from his past that he has been keeping inside. It probably breaks Edwin's heart that he hadn't been able to offer Charles the same relief he'd felt.

And yes, Crystal mentioned that Charles was probably denying the trauma even to himself. We all know that Edwin knew something was off with Charles and that he was probably frustrated in himself because he hadn't been able to figure it out, but Crystal apparently had.

But I also think there might be another level to it. The boys have been solving cases for 30 years. I find it hard to believe that they never had another case involving abuse or at least someone with a controlling personality that would've reminded Charles of his father. Maybe Edwin thinks back to a couple of those cases and how Charles was acting strange and withdrawn during them and realized he'd missed a huge clue about how his friend was feeling.

All those years of sharing his stories from Hell and being comforted by Charles and Edwin hadn't been able to do the same. Edwin is definitely hurt that Charles didn't feel like he could confide in him and heartbroken to think about how much pain his friend was going through alone.

[cistematicchaos]

Actually lol I think disabled people who've been abused/neglected by doctors/nurses should be allowed to be as pissed as they want about it and people who berate them for not understanding how hard being a doctor/nurse is or some such should literally shut the hell up. There is nothing immoral about being angry, especially about shit like this and if you think disabled people don't understand how hard capitalist systems can wear you down, well, you're not just mistaken but ignorant as fuck. 

[just-antithings]

JAT: accusing people who ship M/F enemies to lovers of being "misogynistic abuse apologists"... only to then post about their own enemies to lovers M/F OTP, which features, in canon, the male character headbutting the female character, choking her, threatening her, making misogynistic comments about her, playing mind games with her, and later trying to outright murder her. It's okay when they ship it I guess!

I mean, I like this extremely messed up pairing too, but at least don't be such a hypocrite about it. The funny thing is, the ships they were attempting to call out were TAME compared to their preferred pairing.

[punkstylerecovery]

I know a lot of people talk big about how abusive people cannot love you while abusing you but honestly, at this point, I really don't think it matters. What difference does it make if they love me? It still hurts. It's still wrong. It's still abusive and people pointing out how they love me [in defense of their actions] is still a manipulative tactive meant to force me to forgive them/let them continue/ect.

Their love, or lack of it, isn't a factor in whether or not their behavior is abusive and I really think people need to stop acting like it is.

[yardsards]

been toying with the concept of vampirism as like, needing something that you inherently can't provide for yourself. vampirism as dependency- especially in cases of vampires who refuse to (or straightup *cannot* for whatever reason) feed on anyone without consent, who must rely on blood freely given by living humans.

an independent young adult, so eager to move out on her own and see the world by herself, is turned into a vampire. her human parents are willing to feed her, but now she'll be dependent on them. she can't move away, can't stray too far from the family farm by herself, because she can't be too far from her source of blood for too long. she's afraid of what will happen when her parents are too old to give blood to her, if she'll be able to find someone else to depend on. she'll outlive them all eventually, if she's not left to starve.

a sociable vampire with a wide network of human friends who are willing to offer up their blood to her. they're happy to help her, but she still feels like a monster for having to take their blood all the time. she tries to take as little as possible while they beg her please take more, we hate seeing you so hungry all the time, please let us help. 

a vampire trapped in an abusive marriage because he relies on his wife for blood. if he leaves her without an alternate support system to feed him, he'd starve. she isolated him from all his other loved ones who might've been willing to feed him years ago. she holds the fact that she gives him her blood over his head anytime he tries to defend himself.

[teaboot]

genuine question why you making that "humans are adorable" post even though humanity do horrible things such as genocide, racism, discrimination, ableism, sexism, rape, sexual abuse, and more?

i thought you aware on how awful people can be since judging from things you reblog you are aware of ongoing genocide and witnessing autistic children abused for their condition

Every day I choose to believe that every human being is fundamentally the same. That every adult was once a child, that every child had fears and hopes and joys, and every person desires to live happily and free of pain.

This does not absolve them of their cruelties. This does not condone or minimize their transgressions. This simply is to say, "I too could become monstrous: what would it take to push me there, and how could I prevent it, and if I could not prevent it, how could I stop?"

I believe that to be human is to be an animal like any other. I believe that we are not evil. Because if I believed that humanity was evil, fundamentally cruel, and incapable of better, what hope would I have? What purpose? What life could I live, as a plague surrounded by plagues?

I don't believe that people are good because I have not seen evil actions. I believe that people are good because I have to.

Do you understand?

I must believe in humanity. I must believe in kindness. I must believe in good, and change, and positive intent.

Because otherwise, I'd have nothing to live for.

Because otherwise, all I would have is myself, and self-loathing, and decades of existence in all directions, and a hopeless wasteland to spend it in.

I am not an individual naturally inclined towards trust. This takes effort. This is a survival strategy

[allergic-to-fruits]

THE DAVEKAT COMIC IS OUT NOW !!!!! cw // abuse mentioned click on each image to see each of them better ! this was actually a uni project so i had to make it stand on its own without having to read the source material, thats why i over explain some concepts LOL

i hope u guys enjoy it !!!