#adam is trans and alive

[billystoilet]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences.

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence. Major Character Death.

Categories: M/M. F/M. Other.

Fandoms: Saw (Movies). Insidious (Movies).

Relationships: Adam Faulkner-Stanheight/Lawrence Gordon.

Characters: Adam Faulkner-Stanheight. Lawrence Gordon. Diana Gordon. Alison Gordon. Amanda Young. Mark Hoffman. Allison Kerry. David (Saw 0.5). Specs (Insidious). Scott Tibbs. Original Characters.

Language: English

Words: 5,015

**

“I-I wouldn’t lie to you.”

The words repeated over and over in Adam's head, stinging his aching heart as bile rose and settled in his throat. Ricocheting off the walls, echoing louder and louder even though they were only in his mind. He could feel his chest wavering while he tried to catch his breath through the fever, but not even the sound of his ragged breath could subdue Lawrence's voice. Adam was losing track of time and how long he'd been stuck in place as the pitch black swallowed everything around him, but the ticking clock kept going. Synchronizing and pulsing with his heartbeat, which only made his head spin more.

He felt as if his eyes were going to pop out of their sockets as they strained to overlook the darkness, growing a headache that he could feel in the deep depths of his whole cranium. He leaned his head back against the tile, resting the side of his head against what he could only assume was a pipe and squeezed his eyes shut.

He needed to get out of there.

The pressure in his stomach quivered dangerously and it took all of his strength to swallow the tension down, chin shivering through the need to vomit. In fact, his whole body was shivering; tears streaming down his face, knees shaking where they were pressed against his chest and teeth chattering to the point his jaw ached. Adam knew he was losing blood fast, but his focus on the ghost of Lawrence's voice couldn't cease as it was the only thing from making him truly lose his mind.

Or he had already lost his mind.

The glow-in-the-dark paint on the wall had been Adam's only source of light in the couple of hours after the door closed, but it wasn't long before it completely faded and the room had been just as dark as it was when he first woke up. Because of the lack of sight, Adam found his other senses to refine too quickly than he would've wanted and his suffering only heightened. The air's corpse smell only worsened, the blood on his hands and the dirt under his nails felt thicker, the void of silence could only throb louder.

He really needed to get out of there.

The rough metal of the shackle bit into Adam's ankle every time he tried to pull on the chain, a bruised ache forming around his gaunt bones. Rationally, he knew if he kept pulling on it then he could injure himself further, but it was that he wasn't rationally thinking. All he knew was that he wanted the chain off. Soon, there was a warm substance of what could only be blood start to build around his ankle and roll down his foot that made him stop short for a moment. He thought it was a good idea at first, pull on the chain until something happened, but he only stopped when a loud crack echoed in the room and his legs folded under him. Punching the floor, he angrily screamed until he could barely catch his breath, but only ended up crying, curled as tightly as he could on his side.

That fucking sucked.

Sitting now in silence besides his erratic breathing, Adam thought about the time he went to the beach as a kid. He wasn't sure why it came to mind so suddenly, but the memory seemed so vivid. He remembers how his family didn't normally have opportunities to do fun things like going to the beach together—his dad always either too busy getting drunk or too busy at work or just plain right too uninterested—but it was a day he couldn't forget. He was only six years old, straying from his brothers as he was so confident that he was old enough to be out on his own. Walking out in the shore a piece of seaweed had wrapped around his ankle just in time before a wave came and knocked him down. All he could think of was how cold the water was.

Maybe that's why the memory resurfaced so clearly. The way his fingers were trembling, the hairs on his arms standing straight up, his teeth chattering and his lungs growing tight like he was drowning. In his daze, he found it hard telling apart the memory from what he's seeing right in front of him—if he could see at all, at least. The shackle around his ankle shifted from the cold, sturdy feeling to soft and slimy with the likeness of seaweed.

Read more on AO3. (free to guests)

[designtheendless]

[weedle-testaburger]

the most conflicted feeling is when someone famous you respect died before they could say stupid shit that they probably would've said about current events

[boringkate]

Here’s a bunch of junk for you trans girls to watch

Update: there used to be a link to a mega folder here, but it got taken down.

///TGIRL FEATURE FILMS (alphabetical order)

Adam (2019) it's about a cis boy who's mistaken for a trans boy and rolls with it. Big cast of trans characters including a tgirl played by a tgirl who everyone wants to fuck. Directed by a trans dude. Highly legit. If you're still hung up on pre release speculation based on the novel then you're the most annoying person alive.

Assassination Nation (2018) The first half is Euphoria and the second half is The Purge. ONE OF THE BEST TGIRL MOVIES OF ALL TIME.

Bit (2019) Lesbian girl power vampire movie where the main character is a tgirl played by a tgirl. It's solid. I find it frustrating that they hint at her being trans without explicitly acknowledging it (and she's passing as fuck, so it's easy to not notice), but I know that's what some of y'all want.

Boy Meets Girl (2014) Cis dude for trans girl love story. Pretty normie, but also you see her fully naked (gock out) at the end.

Funeral Parade of Roses (1969) Extremely 60s. Cool as hell.

Lady Daddy (2010) South Korean romcom about a trans girl played by a cis girl who tries unconvincingly to back pass when she finds out she has a kid. Very cute.

Lingua Franca (2019) written directed and starring Isabel Sandoval. An undocumented trans woman immigrant in New York deals with a cis dude partner being a cis dude. Which is also the plot of The Garden Left Behind (2019).

Myra Breckinridge (1970) Raquel Welch is a trans woman and her goal is the destruction of the last vestigial traces of traditional manhood! It's Fight Club! It's Hackers! It's divisive, but it's probably my favorite movie!

So Pretty (2019) Literally the first scripted feature length (non pornographic tho it does have cock) film to feature two trans women played by trans women kissing eachother.

Something Must Break (2014) THE OTHER BEST TGIRL MOVIE OF ALL TIME. Drugs. Crimes. Gock. Slow motion pissing. Slow motion park Fucking. Genuinely the most beautiful sex scene I've seen in any movie. And she makes it to the end still alive and more sure of herself and at peace than ever.

Tangerine (2015) Groundbreaking and also a bunch of the secondary characters are real life pornstars (which I think is neat).

The Garden Left Behind (2019) This and Lingua Franca (2019) really are tgirl twin films, but (like with Antz and A Bug’s Life) the vibes and details make them distinct (I assume tho tbh I’ve never watched Antz).

///TGIRL DOCUMENTARIES

Bambi (2013) about a trans girl showgirl in 50s/60s paris

Paris is Burning (1990) basically it's Pose.

Shinjuku Boys (1995) Trans dudes working in a tokyo club that caters to tboy chasing cis girls. There's at least one trans girl in the mix too.

///FORCED FEMINIZATION

A Reflection of Fear (1972) They raised her as a girl and it made her do murders! It drags in places, but the girl in it is so ethereal and it has ageplay vibes and daddy issues.

Memory Run (1996) A very fun direct to video scifi action flick about fighting fascism by blowing up your pre transition self with a rocket launcher + it's based on a novel written by a trans woman.

She-Man A Story of Fixation (1967) Notable for being such a cliche sissy maid fantasy while also coming out so early + it was Bob Clark's first film lol.

Sleepaway Camp (1983) A more famous version of Reflection of Fear.

Surrender Dorothy (1998) A MUST WATCH. I personally bought a physical DVD and made an ISO of it for you because I was unsatisfied with the quality of the only copy that seemed to exist online. I ALSO PERSONALLY CREATED MY OWN SUBTITLES FOR IT BECAUSE EVEN THE DVD DIDN’T INCLUDE ANY! WHICH TOOK HOURS TO DO!

The Skin I Live In (2011) A rapist is kidnapped and turned into a girl by a mournful vengeful plastic surgeon. Which was also the plot of Victim (2010). I never really vibe with Pedro Almodóvar movies, but I recognize this is the preeminent forced feminization film.

///SHORT FILMS

Gender Troublemakers (1993) Some 90s Toronto trans girls fucking and discoursing. Explicit tgirl on tgirl action. This is the only one on the list that I haven’t actually watched yet. I’m hyped to watch it tho. Seems mindblowingly rad af.

Happy Birthday Marsha (2018) It's about Marsha P. Johnson.

I don't Know (1971) I'm obsessed with the trans girl in this one she just keeps popping up in all kinds of early 70s stuff. Directed by Penelope Spheeris (who is the sister of the cis gf in it).

Mesmeralda (2019) AN ABSOLUTE BANGER HOLY FUCK THE VIBES ARE OFF THE CHARTS! PLS WATCH THIS! I refuse to apologize for it being 15GB. It’s worth every byte.

Pat Rocco's Changes (1970) It's that same girl again!

Queens at Heart (1967) I can't get over that hairdresser girl thinking she's back passing. Most adorably weak boymode ever.

Shangri-La (2021) Another Isabel Sandoval joint.

The Yellow Wallpaper (2021) Freshly post op girl with a supportive boyfriend goes unhinged.

Undress Me (2012) Jana Bringlöv Ekspong did a few short films. Give janabringlove a google after watching this.

///JUST LIKE BTW

Some of these would be tough to find elsewhere, but most of the movies are also watchable on fmovies and/or can be torrented in higher quality.

After you've worked your way through the folder then just start doing Google searches for trans films. Look at IMDB keywords and letterboxd lists. There are so many more out there. These are just like my personal picks.

[deathlooksgoodonyou-if]

It was the summer of 2010 when you found Jules Hawkins by the lake. But it didn't look like Jules Hawkins.

After all, how could it? Jules Hawkins was a god. And as you know, gods like Jules are unbreakable. If you knew anyone death couldn't touch, it was Jules. And yet, somehow it felt like you had never seen Jules look more like them than they did, that day, dead by the lake. Plump cherry lips, now parched and blue, dirt on their perfect knees, golden hair sticking to their forehead, exquisite clothes matted and muddied, skin, ghostly pale.

Even in death, even as Jules became a child of soil and dirt and ruin, Jules managed to look like art. How could this creature of beauty be anyone else but Jules Hawkins?

A string of murders follow the passing of Jules Hawkins and in the desperation of avoiding being tangled in the web of this cold blooded murderer, you end up right in the thick of it when you find out the killer may have set their eyes on you next.

Of course, you ended up in the killer's radar. You had always been a child of misfortune, after all.

• Customise your mc. Choose your appearance. Play as male, female, non-binary or trans; straight, gay or bisexual etc.

• Play as an emotionally scarred individual. Escape the hell you call your mind, alone or with the help of allies. Or succumb to the voices.

• Find your predator before your predator finds you. Or keep running. How far will you run? Do you even want to run?

• Befriend, antagonize, manipulate or romance fellow residents of Ravenwoods.

• Heavily character driven.

• The lake calls out to you. Will you listen?

JULIAN/NE "JULES" HAWKINS. [he/him or she/her] [semi ro]

You knew Jules in the way you wish you never did. Jules is embedded into your very bones. Jules is a part of you. You wish you could escape them.

Jules may be no more for the world but they are alive and breathing in your haywire brain and they are not very kind. Not that they ever were. But the Jules that haunts you, plagues you like a disease is ruthless with their words in a way the old Jules could never be. Not to you.

Description : Pale skin. Rosy tint to cheeks. High cheekbones. f!Long wheatish blonde curly hair with bangs. m!shoulder length curly wheatish blonde hair. Almond shaped brown eyes. Arched eyebrows. Long, thick lashes. Bow shaped lips. f!willowy frame. 5'11. m!broad back, narrow waist, long legs. 6'2.

CHAE WARREN. [he/him]

There are few you consider friend and Warren is one of them, alongside Sujin. He is revolution in a glass jar. A little rough around the edges, with bullet holes in his paper heart. Lately, the air becomes laced with awkwardness when its just the two of you around. You wish you weren't fairly perceptive. Perhaps that could have made you oblivious to the way Warren's adams apple bobs and his throat tightens when you are around, the way his fists clench when his tongue slips or the way he glances at you thinking you didn't notice.

Description : Sharp jaw. Medium complexion. Monolid chocolate brown eyes. Straight eyebrows. Thin pinkish lips. 5'7. Athletic figure. Short dyed dark red hair.

JESSICA HAWKINS. [she/her]

Jules' twin. You never bothered to acquaint yourself with her. She had always seemed too saintly and your mother had taught you well to stay away from that kind. Those who hide their tainted souls behind rosemary lies, platinum smiles and bright eyes stitched from sunshine. Beware of them, your mother had told you. But is that what she truly is doing? Spinning honeyed tales from saccharine lips?

You would never know. Unless you choose to. If it helps, Jules lips always quirked upwards and the crease in their brows mellowed whenever her name rolled off their tongue.

Description : Kind almond shaped brown eyes. Long, thick lashes. Bow shaped lips. Arched eyebrows. High cheekbones. Straight blonde hair, reaching her back. Pale skin. Willowy frame. 5'10.

DYLAN JEANE. [he/him]

Jules' boyfriend, Dylan. Well, ex boyfriend now. He seems to harbour a deep dislike for you. No matter how hard he denies it— the slight tensing of the muscles in his jaw always give it away.

You had always been curious about him. Jules and him were an odd pair. How could Dylan be what Jules desired? They were polar opposites. Jules was tidal waves and traditional typhoons. He is ruddy sunsets and roseate dawns. He is habit, he is routine, he is rigid, he is never changing. A sad strange kind of tragedy. Jules was anything but that. Jules was everything at once. Jules was never the same. Jules was uneven. Jules was hurricanes and tsunamis.

There is a natural downwards turn to his lips, his shoulders always a little hunched as if the burdens of life have dripped down from the ceiling and chosen to settle like dust upon his shoulders. You wonder what weighs him down so terribly. He talks as if every breath he takes from his lungs rattles him to the core. Perhaps it does. He seems to have taken Jules' death as hard as you, if not worse.

Description : Short slicked back midnight black hair. Heavy lidded hazel eyes. Slender built. Wears rimless rectangular glasses occassionally. Angular face. Sharp lips. Upwards eyebrows. Fair skin. 6'1.

AIDEN HAMILTON. [he/him]

The second child of the sleazy mayor. Boy of many faces. You don't trust him one ounce. For good reasons. It irks you to watch his eyes glimmer as if you are a specimen that intrigues him. You don't trust the myriad of unhealthy secrets he hides behind his charming gaze, the sly smile that tugs off the corner of his lips or the disarming lilt of voice as his salty tongue rolls off silken threads of honeysuckle lies frictionlessly. It comes to him as naturally as breathing. The impurity of his father's gold taints him, it runs in his veins and he embraces it willfully.

He is hiding skeletons in his closets and everybody knows that. What it is however, is a different story.

Will he let you in on a secret?

Description : Unruly brown wavy hair, in a middle part. Luscious lips, heavy lower lip, a small faint and old scar at the corner of his mouth. S-shaped eyebrows. Sea green hooded eyes. Tanned complexion. V-shaped jaw. Toned build. 6'4.

HEATHER HAMILTON. [she/her]

Eldest child of the mayor. You are not particularly friends but she is not a bad company to have around either. You like her. You have met in passing and she always has a quick smile reserved for you. You know she is a dreamer with a pomegranate heart. She has also somehow inherited her mother's love of parties. Hers tend to be a little more wild and carefree, though. Just like her.

Uncharacteristically, she is also fond of painting. Will you be her muse?

Description : Straight brown hair in a bob cut. Hooded brown eyes. Heart shaped lips. Soft arch eyebrows. Skinny frame. Tanned complexion. Dimples on both cheeks. 5'7.

MIA MORGAN. [she/her]

Mia Morgan is the kind of girl who will rip your heart out, eat it raw and call it love. With midnight eyes of catlike grace that could rival any godforsaken abyss and lips richer and darker than the blood running in your veins, she's the kind of girl that would skin you alive and chew on your fickle heart but then kiss your eyelids and tell you 'good night, baby' and you would like a lovesick dog spiral back to her, yearning for more.

Why? Because you are a fool? No. Because she was Mia Morgan and Mia Morgan was born for seduction and playing with the strings of childish hearts. A holy ruination. Destruction in its most, enchanting, enrapturing form.

Will you let her destroy you?

Description : Wispy bangs, short hush cut, black hair. Dark cat eyes. Beauty mark on upper lip. Soft jaw. Chubby cheeks. Crimson pouty lips. Fair complexion. Curvaceous figure. 5'2.

KIM SUJIN. [she/her]

She considers you a close friend, sharing every secret with you.

Description : Bronze skin, wide set brown eyes with gold flecks, button nose, freckles, curtain bangs, medium length chestnut brown hair. 5'3.

ARTHUR MORRIS. [he/him]

Aiden's friend. He's an asshole.

Description : Mahogany complexion, hollowed cheeks, has a stubble, ebony eyes, buzzcut, brawny. 6'1.

PARIS HILL. [he/him]

Local heartthrob. He looks handsome till he opens his mouth.

Description : Sunkissed complexion, wide lips, honey brown eyes, blonde hair in a fringe. Buff arms and broad back. Has an unhealthy obsession with shades. 5'10.

AUNT AUBURN MACKENZIE. [she/her]

She loves you dearly. There is nothing she wouldn't do for you.

Description : Brown hair, generally tied in a loose bun. Wrinkles near eyes and smiling lines around her mouth. Thin lips. Stout and a little hunched frame. Brown complexion. 5'1.

MOTHER. [she/her]

A woman with a twisted understanding of love. You haven't seen her in years and while you may have forgotten her face, her voice still rings crystal clear in your mind, like an old cassette on repeat.

FATHER. [he/him]

A man you knew but never quite understood. It is his face that stares back at you everytime you look in the mirror.

MAYOR JOHN HAMILTON. [he/him]

The mayor of Ravenwoods. It would serve you well to have him as an ally. Having strong connections has always proved to be useful.

Description : Beige skin. Hooked nose. Green eyes. Bushy brows. Short hair, close cropped. Smooth blonde hair. Plump frame. 5'8.

MEERA CHAUHAN HAMILTON. [she/her]

Wife of the mayor. She may be a little snobby but she means well. Most of the times. After all, who isn't a little selfish?

Description : Tanned complexion. Almond brown gold eyes. Brown hair wavy reaching her mid back. Slender frame. 5'10.

LAWRENCE HAWKINS. [he/him]

Father of the Hawkins siblings. You would rather not get involved with him.

Description : Pale skin. Blonde slicked back hair. Blue eyes. High cheek bones. Sharp jaw. Wears frameless rectangular glasses. 5'11.

AURORA HAWKINS. [she/her]

Mother of the Hawkins siblings. You would rather not get involved with her.

Description : Blonde hair, generally tied in a tight bun. Pale skin. Brown eyes. 5'9.

OFFICER RYAN DOUGLAS. [he/him]

He's a good man. He tries his best.

Description : Rosy complexion. Dark brown eyes. Short brown hair. Average build. 5'8.

DEMO. (DECEMBER OR SOONER!)

COG FORUM. (DECEMBER OR SOONER!)

EXCLUSIVE CONTENT. (TBD!)

FAQ.

> Rated 18+ for mature themes such as (heavy spoilers ahead!) explicit language, sexual themes, questionable behaviour, toxic relationships, murder, elitism, child abuse, domestic violence, insomnia, toxic relationships, manipulation, transphobia, racism, internalised transphobia and homophobia, death, childhood trauma, mild nudity, feelings of being watched, stalking, infidelity, hallucinations.

Reblogs are appreciated! Thank you for your interest! <3

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

This is just a quick reminder that women can have 

broad shoulders 

prominent jawlines 

thick and/or dark body hair 

facial hair 

Adam’s apples 

deep voices 

flat chests 

large hands 

large feet 

rough skin texture 

prominent veins 

And please note that I’m not saying „trans women can have these and still be women“ here. While that’s true, it’s important to say that all women can have those physical traits. There are plenty of cis women who have these! 

Why does that matter? Well, it’s just a good reminder that women are indeed human beings with human bodies. They come in all sorts of shapes. They don’t all fit the same narrow (and let’s be honest: white) description. 

Women can have physical traits that society deemed „masculine“ and still be women - but that’s not really something that just comes into play when we include trans women. It’s not some new, woke thing. Women have always been human beings with human bodies. There has never been a mold all women fit into. 

And if you are a women (cis or trans!) who has any of these traits.. well, I could add some typical positivity here like „you are beautiful“ but honestly, you are more than that. You are beautifully human. You are alive. You are a person in a body and you are worthy of respect. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[girls--complex]

I enjoy the unalome symbol/Yantra for both its beauty and consiseness even if it has been coopted a little by the new age crowd. Are there any other symbols you find particularly apt metaphors or illustrations whether you agree or not?

Ohh I love this question and am going to steal it as a conversation starter. In general more than Geometric symbols I tend to respond to like characters & figures & animals. And I also like esoteric systems that map spiritual realities onto organic forms. I like my Adam Kadmon. I like my Swedenborg & Yellow Emperor, my rivers of vital force N clouds of cinnabar.

This is my kosmos mandala

And this is the pregnant vacuity that it pours out of

I respond 2 organic forms because I think I just occupy an ecological or relationship based reality. I want things to be dynamic and alive and in perpetual conversation and co-emergence. And I like characters and stories. I would love if my soul and guts could know more about the beauty of geometry. Geometry is also a very immediate expression of divine truths (I also see that it lets the characters play together on the picture plane) but I experience it as a bit impenetrable.

Another symbol story: my acupuncture friend was telling me about the heart and the pericardium, which is an important distinction to acupuncturists. The spirit of the heart is an impersonal, blissful extant awareness that is borrowed from God and the pericardium is the personally specific "lamp" that filters heart spirit thru the conditions of emergent selfhood (this is my probably flawed understanding). I immediately thought of an artist I met who makes only Ner Tamid (the sacred lamps for synagogues)

Claude Riedel

I kept thinking the lamp, the synagogue, the congregation, the Kosmos are "pericardia for God" & thinking how the specificity of time & space filters the light of trans historical and trans spatial creative awareness. Just an example how thinking about God's organs can help us appreciate geometric forms.

[yourdailyqueer]

do you have any posts about lesbians that were alive in the 1800s, I’m interested in that era and have been looking for some <3

Those actually labelled as Lesbian (I also have some bisexuals and *trans people from that era as well if interested):

I'm not counting anyone born after 1880 as they most likely didn't get well known in that era etc.

After 1800

Emma Stebbins - Born 1815

Charlotte Cushman - Born 1816

Rosalie Sully and Anne Hampton Brewster - born 1818

Matilda Hay - Born 1820

Rosa Bonheur - Born 1822

Adelaide Anne Procter - Born 1825

Emily Blackwell - Born 1826

Louisa Baring - Born 1827

Emily Dickinson and Harriet Hosmer - Born 1830

Felicita Vestvali and Amelia Edwards - Born 1831

Margaret Macpherson Grant - Born 1834

Octavia Hill - Born 1838

Emma Crow - Born 1839

Sophia Jex-Blake - Born 1840

Maria Louise Pool and Ella Wesner - Born 1841

Maria Konopnicka - 1842

Anna Yevreinova and Sarah Bernhardt - Born 1844

Annie Hindle - Born 1845

Rose Cleveland - Born 1846

Josie Mansfield - Born 1847

Edwina Kruse - Born 1848

Marie Fillunger - Born 1850

Eugenie Schumann - Born 1851

Sophie Elkan, Isa Asp and Louise Abbéma - Born 1853

Mary Garrett - Born 1854

Palmire Dumont - Born 1855

Louise Catherine Breslau, Anna Elizabeth Klumpke and Elisabeth Marbury - Born 1856

Ika Freudenberg, Lilian Welsh, Selma Lagerlöf, Eleonora Duse and Ethel Smyth - Born 1858

Lucy Elmina Anthony, Margaret Todd and Elsie de Wolfe - Born 1859

Rachilde and Jane Addams - Born 1860

Edith Watson, Vida Dutton Scudder, Valborg Olander and Maria Dulębianka - Born 1861

Loie Fuller - Born 1862

Madeleine Zillhardt, Hélène van Zuylen and Mathilde de Morny - Born 1863

Vesta Tilley and Johanna Elberskirchen - Born 1864

Sophia Goudstikker and Winnaretta Singer - Born 1865

Lydia Zinovieva-Annibal - Born 1866

Władysława Habicht, Polyxena Solovyova and Evelina Haverfield - Born 1867

Lida Heymann and Edith Lake Wilkinson - Born 1868 

Caroline Spurgeon, Edith Craig, Emma Willits, Flora Murray - Born 1869

Ethel Richardson, Agnes Elisabeth Overbeck, Gabrielle Bloch and Princess Vera Gedroits - Born 1870

Cicely Hamilton, Violet Gordon-Woodhouse, Elizabeth Fisher Read, Celia Wray, Maude Adams - Born 1872

Louisa Garrett Anderson, Sara Josephine Baker, Maud Allan - Born 1873

Lilian Barker, Pepi Litman, Mary Dewson, Toupie Lowther, Romaine Brooks, Gertrude Stein, Elsa von Freytag-Loringhoven, Rachel Barrett and Amy Lowell - Born 1874

Élisabeth de Gramont - Born 1875

Alfhild Tamm, Sibilla Aleramo and Natalie Clifford Barney - Born 1876

Virginia Gildersleeve, Renée Vivien and Alice B. Toklas - Born 1877

Wanda Landowska and Alla Nazimova - Born 1879

[diristine]

So heres Simon and his former self Agent Shard.

Here are some facts about my interpretation of the man, of course some of them are me being dramatic and a little bit sleep deprived but most of it is true. I was a bit tired of him being the fandom’s soft boy and gave him a bit more personality.

Please do not hang me for my ideas of this man, he has possessed me and had me write his livelihood for your viewing pleasure.

- He used to be specialized in disinformation

- His current self is deaf in the left ear

- He has two boyfriends

- He is not a serious Diogenes simp, he has their consent to nervously flirt and act awkward to allow people to view him as a pathetic virgin.

- He still can and will shoot a guy

- Has a body count of +100 (in both manners)

- Is Clef’s cousin, I will not elaborate

- 6’9 cause haha funny number but then it just stuck

- He is a pansexual trans man, he has top surgery scars but has the bottom portion thanks to SCP-113

- As Shard he had an OF acc, and seeing as people never dropped their subscription he keeps making money off of it

- His eyes were originally blue, then he found Clef and he got mysterious heterochromia. (Bitch reality bended him subconsciously)

- Plushie collector, the man has a whole bookshelf dedicated to the things. He will fight you if you insult any of them and make you apologize.

- Avid Mikell and Adam Bright hater.

- He’s the psychologist assigned to SCP-166 (he assigned himself to her once he found out)

- Gayest man alive

- Woman respector.

- Has in fact put Clef and Kondraki in a “get along shirt” and made them walk around site in shame as he played the My Little Pony theme-song on a speaker while following them around. He may or may not have played Careless Whisper before promptly being tackled by both men (it was worth it)

- He continues to live with his former mission partner (they’re dating) and has a pet cat who is actually a fugitive running from the GOC after some magic went wrong.

If you have any questions on my interpretation of Glass, please let me know. I am more than happy to answer in an honest and possibly unhinged manner. I do intend to explain his relationship with Clef later, but that’ll take a bit more world building.

[fredbydawn]

am thinking of the way Adam hesitates before telling Lawrence his name... like I know its meant to foreshadow the fact that he's this kinda shady liar who's concealing just how much he knows about what's going on and is probably also meant to make us wonder if that's even his real name (note how he gives no last name, hence the stanheight/faulkner-stanheight thing) cuz it almost sounds like he's coming up with it on the spot, but I'm also thinking about how it plays into trans readings of Adam. like you could read that pause as him really assessing his situation for a moment, like Lawrence has no idea who he is, he could give him any name and Lawrence would be none the wiser if it was his "real name" or not, he's in a dire situation, he has no idea where he is or if he will ever leave that room alive, its almost like for a moment he's debating in his head "what name do I want to die as?"

[scekrex]

Nsfw, Adam breeding tran!reader and dirty talking but in a gender affirming manner like 'I'm going to make you a father', 'I hope you're ready to be a daddy cause I'm going to put a baby in you'

Breeding kink my beloved. I feel like Adam's totally into the thought of fucking a child into someone (reader in our case) but actually wanting kids? Fuck no. He had to take care of his kids in the past, ain't no fucking way he wants more

Spin round quick rock yo body

pairing: Adam x trans!male!reader

warnings: language, vaginal sex, no use of female privates though

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

Adam’s nails dug into your skin as he pushed your hips flush against his own, pounding into you like it was the only thing keeping you alive, like he’d die the moment he’d stop crashing your hips together. You were breathing heavy and so was he as he kept fucking his dick into you, drawing the most glorious sounding moans from your lips that the first man had ever heard - how could a single person sound so divine, so perfectly pure and yet so nasty at the same time? A question Adam would never get an answer to, not that he minded.

“Fuck,” the brunette on top of you huffed as he tugged on your hips to get them closer, his body was acting on instincts and the words left his lips before he could give them a second thought, “Gonna make you a fucking dad, babes.” And your body seemed to like the sound of that, because as soon as those words had fallen from the most perfect lips in all of heaven, a loud moan of the first man’s name was your answer to his plan. You met his thrusts halfway through, high on the thought of Adam breeding you - the fact that you were able to get pregnant had never felt as arousing as it did in that exact moment, the opposite had been the case. It had always given you dysmorphia, so the fact that your mind actually liked the new kind of dirty talk Adam tried was surprising to both of you.

“Imma fill you up with my fucking cum ‘til you can’t take more ‘nd make sure to fuck a goddamn baby in you,” the brunette continued, very visibly enjoying the idea. And while in the back of his mind he knew that winners weren’t able to get pregnant and actually give birth to children, the sheer thought was able to keep him going. It’s not like he had an unfulfilled child wish or whatever - he had children after all, not that they all turned out the way Adam had wanted them to, but he had children of his own and one thing he knew for sure: he didn’t want nor need any more children to take care of, it was worse enough that Sera asked him regularly to babysit Emily - as if the little seraphim wasn’t able to take care of herself. So this was all just a fantasy and it would stay that way - but it was a welcome fantasy, one that you seemed to enjoy just as much as Adam himself was enjoying it, if the noises you were making was anything to go by - for Adam it was and so he kept up his probably new favorite form of dirty talk. “And you’ll take it like the good fucking bitchboy you are for me, aren’t you?”

Your head was pressed firmly against the sheets underneath you, not by Adam though, your body did that to itself. Hips arched you cried out for more, answering his question with desperate cries and by begging him to fill you the fuck up. You weren’t sure how much longer you could take it, you felt your orgasm creep closer, felt the built up in every little muscle of your body yet you found yourself unable to tell Adam so and when you came around his dick only moments later, lubing the first man’s erection with your cum, Adam let a deep moan slip from his lips, slapping your hips lightly, “Fucking needy whore, what will our fucking kid say when he fucking finds out that his dad’s a horny slut for the first fucking man?” The words weren’t with you, the ability to speak had been taken from you by your orgasm and all you were able to do was to look up into shining golden eyes that contained a gigantic amount of lust, you were sure you could drown in those magnificent eyes of his - Adam’s eyes had always been so stupidly beautiful to you, why you didn’t know, probably because you loved him very dearly though.

It didn’t take Adam very long to stay true to his words, with a harsh thrust he buried himself deep inside of you, lighter thrusts followed quíckly as he kept fucking his seeds deeper into you, “I’ll fucking make sure that shit stays inside of you until you give motherfucking birth to my brat.” And how you loved the thought of that, of having Adam’s cum inside of you for as long as he demanded. “Fuck yes,” were the only words you were able to voice before your brain started to fog up with that beautiful post-nut-haze. The brunette on top of you kept fucking his seeds inton you and you doubted he would stop any time soon, that man was on a mission now, no matter if God had made it impossible, Adam’s lust and his nature to reproduce were both kicking in like crazy and that man would do a fucking lot right now to fuck an actual child into you, so he keot rocking his hips against yours. The pace he had set was less brutal and harsh than before. Given Adam’s usual pace this was actually able to be considered soft - well, it surely was soft enough to let you fall asleep. The first man of course noticed that and was quick to change positions without leaving your insides empty for even as much as a second. He pulled you flush against his chest, dropped himself backwards until his back hit the soft yet sweaty sheets and was quick to wrap his wings around you to keep you warm, a blanket simply wouldn’t do. His hips however, continued moving.

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

I couldn't help myself

Adam groggily opened her eyes at long last, she groaned remembering the events of not so long ago. She still felt the aftermath of the battle on his body. As well as the cold air as she realized she was nude. Though he didn't know how or why he was still alive he was just thankful to BE alive. Adam pushed herself up and felt something heavy smack against her chest. With one hand she rubbed the blurriness out of her eyes the other brought to her chest to soothe it. However, instead of the usual flat surface like Adam was used to she felt...lumps, large soft lumps. Adam's eyes shot open as she stared in shock at the sight of instead of a toned hairy chest, she was greeted with two large, E cup it seemed, breasts. And that wasn't the only surprise waiting for Adam. Between her legs where once was a proud large hairy penis and scrotum, now lay a vagina, though still just as hairy. Adam couldn't believe it, didn't WANT to believe it. After so long of wishing and praying for this to come true it finally happened, but...how and why now? Adam shook her head, it didn't matter she needed to find out where she was first, she got her answer from her surroundings as she was behind the hotel, the new refurbished better-looking hotel, but still the same hotel that she previously destroyed. In any event, she had to get out of here before ANY of the residents saw her, especially Vaggie and Lucifer. However, the sound of wings flapping up above her told her it was too late.

From that trans Adam ask

Adam started to panic, maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't fucking naked! She tried to cover herself the best she could with her hands and hair

God it was just like back in Eden, only this time Adam isn't alone and painfully aware of how naked she is.

Lucifer: Adam?

Adam turned to look at him: ...... No?

Lucifer just looked plainly at her: Really? You think I wouldn't recognize you?

Adam: I don't know, you are pretty fucking old.

Lucifer: Why do you sound like that?

Adam: Fuck off!

Lucifer: Don't be that way, let me-

This was when he got a closer look at Adam and his- no, her new body.

Lucifer: Why are you naked?

Adam: Do I look like I fucking know?

[thekeeperof-thefandoms]

TW: sensitive topics

Adam slowly becomes more tolerate and less misogynistic over time via osmosis but won't admit it and instead hides it.

Adam thinks women bitch too much about the pink tax until he's sent out to get period products for Reader and Lute, only to realise that his cost of his shopping just doubled in price from just one pack.

Adam thinks women bitch too much about not being welcomed to normally male occupied spaces until he's playing late night online and hears a woman join only to leave after five minutes because everyone kept harassing them.

Adam hounds a girl for her number, thinking that he's so smooth for getting it in the end, but then decided to lose it after watching a film with Reader and Lute where it showed a girl terrified of what would happen if she didn't give a guy her number and hears Reader and Lute, two very capable women, talk about how they've been in similar positions.

Adam has done a lot of thinking lately.

Personally, I'd like to think that Heaven, while flawed, is above some of the nonsense like the pink tax. I do still think catcalling and being harassed happens, probably mainly in result to a lot of men modeling Adam's behavior.

But once he gets with you and you start calling him on his shit, and therefore Lute gets more comfortable calling him out, and especially after the period simulator, he's more aware of certain things.

I feel like eventually he'd ask you if this is how bad it is now, what did you do when you were alive? When you had to work constantly, sometimes 2 jobs at a time, just to afford basics. That's when you tell him you didn't really have a choice but to suck it up. That you weren't allowed to get a hysterectomy, you couldn't take sick days just for a period, and that most doctors wouldn't believe you anyway.

Especially if you're a trans person this is a big foot in the door to explaining how poorly women and queer people are treated. Hit em with the fact that religious nuts use Adam and God as examples for their behavior and he's going to feel physically sick. I think he'd have to take a few days to just be by himself and really think about how he acts and how people interpret that.

From there it's a slow build up to correcting his behavior. And it's not always gonna be easy. He's going to be defensive, he'll tell you that you're overreacting and that him persistently following a girl around to ask her for her number repeatedly isn't bad, it shows he's interested. He's a nice guy.

Tell him that's what other men thought too until "insert any woman you can think of who was assualted".

Lute's more direct, she sits his ass down and has him watch as many true crime stories of women getting kidnapped, SA, tortured, and murdered as she can find. Usually she picks ones based off the names you drop. He really only has to hear 4 or 5 before it sinks in. (Tiktok reminded me of the girl who was tortured to death for 45 days and assualted with lit fireworks so, have that fresh horror in your minds).

Tell him about any personal experiences you had and how terrifying it is to be a woman or queer. Show him the responses to the man or the bear question. Let him fully realize how many people, people he knows as strong and capable, would rather face the bear because "the worst the bear can do is kill me". Or "Nobody accuses me of liking being attacked by a bear"

"No one asked me what I was wearing when the bear attacked"

"People would actually believe me if I said I was attacked by a bear."

"The bear sees me as a person."

"The bear lives in the woods, the man probably followed me."

Each answer is gonna send a new shiver down his spine.

Reforming Adam isn't an easy or fast process but it's fully possible because I don't think he's bad or a fullblown narcissist. I think he's been told his entire existence that he's a good guy, a pinnacle of creation, someone to be admired and obeyed without question.

You could argue he may be a bit controlling and narcissistic because of how he treated Lillith and requested a submissive wife with Eve. And I don't think he's ever not going to be full of himself and expect his ideal partner to be a bit more traditional in the sense that they're a housewife/domestic type. But he also likes people who go out and have fun, can get wild, and he definitely thinks it's hot if you can defend yourself even if it strokes his ego if you let him do it.

But overall, I think with enough time, patience, and exposure Adam could become a better person. Probably the type who would throw hands with himself if he could. Definitely becomes the type to start borderline hating other men.

[tacticalhimbo]

TRANS DAY OF REMEMBRANCE 2024

Don't have the spoons to make a spiel about how solidarity in and out of the community is important, but wanting to highlight that as is. We need to speak out and show up for those who fight alongside us, and for those we've lost*.

*Remember: Any concrete numbers you see statistics wise are not 100% accurate. The violence against us, especially our BIPOC siblings, are majorly under-reported.

Here are some organizations and resources to share around, with attributions and pronouns (as of writing the post). I'll section this off based on what type of resource/org they are... more or less--

Archival.

2600 Pages of Hate: Transphobia and Fascism by maia crimew (It/She)

Black Trans* Oral History Project by Blu Bachanan (They/Them) and Naomi Simmons-Thorne (She/They)

Digital Transgender Archive by K.J. Rawson (He/Him) et al.

LGBT+ Intersectionality, a Google Drive full of Resource Books

The Mirror Memoirs by Amita Swadhin (They/Them), Jaden Cervantes-Fields (He/Him), and Bilen Berhanu (She/Her)

NYC Trans* Oral History Project

The Trans* Library (Carrd)

University of Victoria Transgender Archives (Canada)

Varied.

Baltimore Safe Haven, established by Iya Dammons (She/They).

Bklyn Boihood, established by Black masculine-of-center queer and trans people of color.

Black Trans Femmes in the Arts, established by Jordyn Jay (She/Her)

Black Trans* Travel Fund, established by Devin Michael Lowe (He/They) and Morticia Godiva (Her/Shey)

Brave Space Alliance, established by trans and gender non-conforming individuals.

FedUp Collective, established by Zain Lugay (They/He), Sam (They/Them), Cody (He/Him), Ian (He/Him), JO Walduck (She/They), et al.

For the Gworls, established by Asanni Armon (They/Them; Sources Vary)

The Gender Affirming Letter Access Project, established by transgender, nonbinary, and allied mental health and medical providers.

"The Gender Binary" is a Misnomer; Gender Has Always Been a Hierarchy by Talia Bhatt (She/Fae)

Privilege, Power, and Pride: Intersectionality within the LGBT Community by Kittu Pannu (He/Him)

The Okra Project, established by Gabrielle Inès Souza, Max Rigano, and Celyna Jackson (Pronouns Unknown).

Organización Latina Trans in Texas, , established by Anandrea Molina (Ella/She, Rigoberto Reyes/Monika Adams (Él/Ella/She/He), Gia Pacheco (She/Ella), Danny Lopez (Él/He), Noemi Garza, Barby Ledesma, Vanessa Garcia, and Kassandra Rivas (Pronouns Unknown).

Princess Janae Place, established by Jevon Martin (He/Him) and Dani Farrell (He/They).

The Transgender Education Network of Texas, established by various BIPOC trans community members.

Trans*, Gender Variant, and Intersex Justice Project, established by Janetta Johnson (She/Her), zy'aire nassirah (He/Him), zen "zee" mills (She/Her), van dell (They/Them), Valentine McClain (They/She), eli b. (They/He), et al.

TransgenderNI (Northern Ireland) / Belfast Trans Resource Centre, established by trans community members.

TransInclusiveGroup, established by Tatiana Williams (She/Her/Goddess), Krys Gordon (She/Her), Adrianna Tender (She/Her/Diva), Mei-Lan Diaz (They/Them), and Na'stacia Buchanan (She/Her).

Trans Latin@ Coalition, established by Paolo Coots (She/Her/Ella), Arianna Inurritegui-Lint (She/Her/Ella), Alexa Rodriguez (She/Her/Ella), et al.

Trans* Needle Exchange, established by Oliver (Pronouns Unknown).

And remember, community is what keeps us alive.

It is important to call out bigotry in our spaces; important to let those here know we value them and their existence. Do not solely fight for those who are gone, fight for those who are living with us here and now.

Let the folks in your lives and in your communities know you care about them. Listen to them. Learn from them. None of us are free until all of us are free.

Which is why I'm also going to drop broader-focus organizations and resources for the global community:

alQaws for Sexual & Gender Diversity in Palestinian Society

Canadian LGBTQ+ History

India's LGBTQ+ Movement

LGBTQ+: A Troubled History in Mexico

LGBTQ+ Orthodox Jewish Education (PDF)

LGBTQ+ Narratives in Pakistan

LGBTQ+ Rights Ghana Support Fund

Nigeria's Queer History

Queer Activism in Africa

Queer Nigerian Emergency Fund

Feel free to add onto this (preferably with more grassroots kinda stuff/individual spotlights; anything goes long as it's vetted really).

[lizpaige]

fics i read this week 👩‍💻

hiiiii its me again. I've read lots of fics this week, but going to share some of them here in case you need some recs in your life! also please send me some recs if you've got any! i'd love to check them out!

Adam Parrish and His Band of Merry (College) Friends by Idontshaveforsher_yesyoudo Collection of pOV Outsider stories of pynch and this is my fave genre of fic okaaaaaay? I just love it and love their dynamic it's great!

A Moment in Time by pinkhorizon This is a WIP (3/10 chapters so far) and sososo good! farmer!Ronan hires college student!Adam for the summer to help around the farm and the tensionnnnnn is just so good I love it so far!

Am I Gonna Get to Love You? by earthquaker Classic oops they got married in vegas au. butbutbut the pining and backstory and everything is just next level.

shout (let it all out) by beanwestchester My heart!!!! This fic was so sweet and delicate and soft and just let Adam enjoy wearing his skirts pls and thank you.

we all fill up with time by interropunct There aren't enough trans!Ronan fics in this fandom tbh and this is a great one. soft dom!Adam was *chef's kiss* and there's 6 chapters of outtakes/bonus scenes from the original story

how to rescue your idiot vampire crush from the jaws of death (and maybe kiss him too) by elliptical vampire!adam!!!!!! this story is standalone but there's a greater series that is just as good! I hiiiiiiighly recommend checking out the whole series if you like vamp!aus

Different Wounds, Same Weapon by ungoodpirate i loooooove a niall is alive and meets adam story. i want to read 1000 of these, but this one would always be my favorite. the drama, the comfort, the chaos, i love it all.

[jigsaw-survivor]

HI! Question for ooc ! Do you have any head cannons for Adam ?

(Love ,kitty:3)

Hi!! I have a few :3 I'll list 'em

- Trans FtM

- Bisexual (Preference for guys)

- He has limited mobility in his right arm/hand because the bullet, and when he can use it, he gets tremors and such

- He has a slight limp because he smashed in his ankle with what was left of the toilet lid to get out

- He still wants to be a vet, but thinks he can't, for multiple reasons

- He's extremely anxious and cautious

- Now has 5 locks on his door

- Horribly scared of the dark and hates it

- AuDHD

- His parents were never there, so he was raised by his older brothers, mainly Specs, and when they were home, they were extremely abusive and drunk

- Stoner

- Had to cannibalise Zepp's corpse and drink from the moldy tub just to stay alive

Might add more later :3