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daydreaming-in-letters · 3 years

Text

Assumptions

10/01/2021

Pairing: Manuel Neuer x fem!reader (3rd person)

Word Count: 6,018

Warnings: rpf, mentions of age gap (not between reader and Manu and nothing illegal) and strong opinions on that, banter, jealousy, infuriation, fluff and cuteness

Summary: The reader finally catches her long time crush Manuel Neuer alone on her uncle's birthday. Things are quickly starting to get heated—sadly it's not the kind of heated she would have liked it to be.

A/N: Most of you probably don't know Manuel Neuer. He is the goalkeeper and captain of Bayern Munich as well as the German National Football Team and every once in a while I find my thoughts drifting towards that adorable and amazingly talented manchild. This story has been sitting in my drafts for far too long and I wasn't sure whether I felt comfortable with publishing it in case it ever got finished. But I found that there is an intolerable lack of Manuel Neuer x reader fics on here, so here it is. I tagged everyone from my general tag list, but I understand if this is not what you signed up for. So sorry in advance and please feel free to ignore this story at your leisure.

Picture found on Pinterest

If you like my story, you are very welcome to like, comment or reblog. Please don’t copy, repost or share my work on other platforms.

It was only a few minutes to midnight and still the dance floor was as filled as ever, an enchanting mixture of young and old people alike. The bass rolled deep in his stomach, making him even queasier than he already was, and the lights, flickering across the mass of moving bodies in sync to the rhythm of the music, didn’t help either.

Suddenly a figure broke through the outer wall of bodies and made her way over to his table. A small smile crawled over her lips, a little shy but genuine, yet he didn’t feel like returning it. He had hoped that she would change her mind upon the disgruntled look on his face, but much to his dismay, she did nothing of the sort and sat down right next to him, just as a waitress passed the table with a tray of colourful shots. The woman next to him stopped her, before she turned to him.

“Care for a drink?”

Did he care for a drink? He yearned for one.

“No, thanks. I’m not really fond of drinking.”

“Shame,” she shrugged, her smile growing a bit wider when she took two shots from the tray anyway. For a second he thought she might actually force him to drink with her, but then she placed down the two glasses in front of herself. Raising her first glass to him, she gulped it down in one swig, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand afterwards.

“Do you care for a dance then?” She nodded over to the dance floor, her eyes and body inviting him to take the offer.

He found that he somehow couldn’t hold her gaze when he answered, “I’m afraid I’m also not very fond of dancing.”

Her forearms resting on the table, she leaned closer, obviously not taking the hint that he just wanted to be left in peace and quiet.

“Then what are you fond of?”

“I think you know pretty well what I’m fond of.” To his own surprise he sounded even harsher than he had attempted to, but the last thing he needed right now was an eager fan trying to engage him in a conversation.

“I do,” she retorted undeterred, “but that’s not what I wanted to know. See, you might not have noticed through all your sulking, but I was actually interested in you as a person, not as a footballer.”

He huffed, although he wasn’t sure she had heard him above the music.

“And you might have noticed that I am not interested in talking about private stuff to complete strangers.”

Sure, he was being massively impolite, but at least he hoped that this would do the trick now. But instead of finally leaving him alone, she shot him an amused look.

“Ooooh, grumpy, aren’t we?”

Now it was him who leaned in closer, making sure she could hear him properly. “Look, it’s nothing personal, okay? I just...it wasn’t such a great evening for me.”

Unintentionally his eyes wandered over to the dance floor for a split second, where a very young, very blonde girl was dancing happily among his teammates and their wives and girlfriends. Cursing himself, he looked over to the woman by his side carefully, hoping she hadn’t noticed. But of course she had, her eyes still fixed on the girl.

“Ah, I see.” She turned to him and the glint in her eyes made his stomach turn. “Puberty is a bitch, eh?”

“Excuse me?” he spat, equal parts bewildered and stunned.

“You heard me alright.”

Who did she think she was? Impertinent woman.

“I don’t think that’s any of your business.” The volume of his voice must have slipped his control a little, as he noticed a group of elderly men standing nearby turn into his direction. Still the woman’s smile never left her face, appeasing the men who turned away again.

“Really? After all I have to sit here with a pissed thirty something man who refuses to acknowledge he let his hormones get the best of him.”

“Whoa! Okay, first of all, it was you who decided to come and sit at this table and second, again, none of your goddamn business.”

Her answer was a simple grin, still not fazed by his anger in the slightest. It almost felt as if she was enjoying to get him riled up.

“You’re right.”

“And?”

“What do you mean ‘and’?”

He rolled his eyes heavily. Why couldn’t she just leave?

“You know, that phrase usually goes with an apology. Like ‘You’re right. Sorry I assumed you’re having a mid-life crisis and bang a chick that is 15 years your junior to boost your fragile ego.’”

“Do you?”

Inhaling deeply, he tried to calm himself a little. After all, he couldn’t afford to yell at her again, not that he didn’t want to, but causing even more unwanted attention was not in his plans for tonight.

“I didn't say that.”

“Well actually,” she looked at him triumphantly, “you kind of did. I never said you were having a midlife crisis or that you need her to boost your ego. Those were your words. And seeing that my assumptions caused a reaction like that, I’m afraid I can’t really say I’m sorry either.”

All right, that was it. Enough was enough.

“Look, I think I have an assumption for you too, lady. I’m starting to assume that you only came over here to rile me up further. And guess what, mission completed. So why don’t you do us both a favour and head off to pester someone else now?”

She was quiet for a moment and for the first time, the cheeky smile left her beautiful, burgundy lips. He had expected her to be a bit shaken at least, maybe even as pissed as himself, and yet the next words were spoken with such dignity that he couldn’t help but admire her a little for it.

“Oh, I would love to say you’re right again, but I’m afraid I can’t this time. And since we seem to have warmed up to each other quite a bit by now, I feel it’s okay to be completely honest with you.” She paused a second, simply for the effect, he guessed and her warm eyes never left his. “I came to sit with you because you looked miserable. Still do, by the way. And I thought you might need an actual grown up to talk to. But it seems I was wrong. You’re just a pouty manchild, like the rest of them.”

She waved her arm, pointing over at the dancing crowd of his friends and their spouses. His eyes followed her gesture and when he laid eyes on the heart of the matter, a hot flush of rage began to swirl through his veins, making his hands clench into fists. Fully set on giving her a piece of his mind, not caring who might hear him at this point, he turned to her again. But the familiar figure that had somehow entered the picture without his notice made him stop in his tracks.

“Here you are, sweetie.” The man cooed, laying his large hand on her shoulder in a protective gesture. “I almost got the feeling you were hiding from me since I made you promise to dance with me tonight.”

She twisted her slender neck to look up at his gentle face, her attention making him smile sweetly at her.

“You know I’d never do that to you, Uncle Hans, especially not on your birthday. I just thought your no. 1 goalkeeper here was in need of some mature company, but clearly he is perfectly happy with the way things are.”

Bewilderment flickered behind the coach’s gaze as he looked between his niece and one of his best players and Manuel was sure that this might not be the last time they would speak about this matter.

“So then, may I have that dance now, sweetheart?”

“With pleasure.” Manuel watched almost transfixed as she gracefully took her uncle’s hand and stood up. It was only now that he noticed how perfectly her dress showed off her voluptuous curves. He was almost certain that she would leave without another word when once again she proved him wrong. Turning on her heels, she grabbed the remaining shot and gulped it down in one large swig before she looked down at him, almost as regal as a queen.

“Have a pleasant evening, Mister Neuer. I’m sorry I can’t say I enjoyed our conversation more. Oh, and just in case you should ever feel in need to talk to a grown up, don’t call.”

⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️

She could still feel his piercing look on her back as Hansi led her through the crowd and away from him. They had just begun to dance when the song changed and a much slower tune echoed through the large room. With a smug grin, her uncle pulled her closer, bringing his hand to the small of her back. Cheek to cheek he swayed her to the beat and she could feel that her mind was almost beginning to slow down, when he decided to pick up a conversation.

“Will you tell me what that was all about?”

She bit her lip like a little girl that was about to be scolded. “Do I have to?”

He chuckled deeply, the vibration rumbling against her chest and she could easily imagine the self-satisfied grin on his face.

“I’m certainly not going to force you. It’s just, you know, I always thought you kind of liked him.”

Instantly, she could feel her face heat up. How could he possibly know that?

“True. Liked, as in past tense. And besides, it’s not that I actually know him, personally, I mean. You could perhaps say I admire his talent, at most. And he also may be kind of easy on the eyes.”

She had become more and more quiet while she spoke, merely mumbling the last sentence. But he had heard her nonetheless, her silliness making his lips twitch in amusement.

“Hm. I clearly remember your aunt begging me to invite him over for a barbecue party last summer, telling me that you wouldn’t shut up about his quiet reserve, his amazing performance on the field and his stunning smile. Sadly he didn’t have time.”

She gulped audibly, tensing up a little in his arms, which made him enjoy their little talk even more. “So, what changed your mind?”

“He did,” she said a little too quickly, before she sighed so heavily that her uncle almost regretted bringing this topic up after all. “It’s just, I don’t understand his choice in women. I mean, he could choose literally anyone, so why her? I mean, she clearly doesn’t make him happy.”

“And how do you know that? You have spoken to him for what? Like five minutes?” He turned them around, making her face the gloomy goalie once more, before he went on. “I might be wrong, sweetheart, but I think you’re just jealous.”

Over his shoulder her gaze met Manuel’s for a split second before his eyes shot to his right, where the blonde teenager stepped into the picture, blocking him from view. She sat down on his lap, her arms dragging around his neck possessively, as her lips met his in a feverish kiss. Averting her gaze immediately, her eyes darkened and her heart clenched heavily in her chest.

“If by jealous you mean disenchanted, you’re right.”

Her bitter words made him loosen his grip on her so that he could see her face, and the hurt in her eyes pained him more than he cared for.

“I know you probably won’t believe me, but he really is a good person.”

She scoffed while her incredulous eyes landed on her uncle’s soft, blue orbs. “Well, he certainly hid that pretty well.”

He gave her a tight lipped smile. “I think he’s just lost his way a little at the moment.”

“So you think I’m right then?”

The excited sparkle in her eyes made him regret his honest words a little.

“I didn’t say that.” He protested strongly. In the end it was not for him to judge his players’ private lives. “After all he is a grown man and he can decide for himself.” He could see her face fall again and so he was quick to add, “Nevertheless, I don’t think you’re completely wrong either.”

He was very pleased to see that his words had caused a small smile to crawl back to her pretty lips. He almost felt like a proud father and when she finally leaned back in a bit closer, her forgiving gesture almost made him a bit bold.

“So, uhm, one more question, sweetheart. In the unlikely event that he should after all need a grown woman to talk to, can I give him your number?”

“Certainly not,” she insisted with a steady voice, but when she looked at him, the adorable grin on her face left no doubt that this was the biggest lie she had ever told.

⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️

Manuel was furious as he watched her leave towards the dance floor with the coach. How could she dare call him out like that and then leave without giving him the chance to set her straight? His eyes fixed on her, he watched as Flick pulled her closer, his eyes following her uncle’s hand to the small of her back. Being the gentleman he was, his hand had found the only spot on her back that was actually covered by the dark red fabric of her dress. And for a second he imagined what it might actually feel like to let his hand wander upwards until it covered her bare skin. Or maybe he could let it slip down a few inches, until his fingers would grasp the soft flesh of her behind. He had just been able to fully picture the exact feeling of her body pressed up to his when he could feel the man who actually held her in his arms catch his indecent look on his niece’s back. Immediately he sat up straight, averting his gaze, completely missing the amused smile on the other man’s face, and when he turned back to face him, he almost lost it when he found her sparkling eyes instead.

He was still trying to figure out what had happened, when he heard a familiar voice calling him.

“Hey, babe.” The high pitched noise made him flinch and instinctively his eyes shot to his right, just in time to pull his arms away before she slumped down onto his lap clumsily. She laid it on thickly as her arms wrapped around his neck.

“I missed you on the dance floor, honey bun. Why don’t you come dance with me?”

And before he even had the chance to answer, her lips crashed down on his mouth almost painfully, her tongue forcing his lips to open. The stench of alcohol filled his mouth and he pushed her drunken form off of him determinedly. Before she even had the chance to protest, he lifted her up and placed her in his chair.

“I don’t think dancing is a good idea in your condition.” She glared at him, but then she seemed to have forgotten what for and her lips turned up into a sheepish smile.

“Whatever you say, babe.”

“Look, why don’t you just stay here and I get you a nice, big glass of water to sober you up a little?”

She began to nod, but then her eyes lost focus und she stared past him at god knows what.

“All right, I’ll be back in a sec. Don’t go anywhere.”

Quickly he made his way over to the counter and ordered a whole bottle of water, when he felt the slap of a hand on his left shoulder.

“Wow, you look even more frustrated than after our knock out at the World Cup in 2018. What happened?”

“Don’t ask.” He sighed as he turned around to face his friend. Manuel hoped that he would accept his wish, but when he saw the apologetic look on Thomas’ face, he instantly knew that he wouldn’t drop the topic.

“Too late. I just did.”

With a dramatic roll of his eyes, the next words were spoken more to himself than to his teammate.

“Great, just what I need. Another pain in my ass.”

“Another? Who was the first then?” Obviously Thomas had taken no offence and sounded a bit too cheerful for Manuel’s liking.

“She.”

He looked over at the dance floor, where the impertinent woman was just sending her uncle the most beautiful, cheeky grin he had ever seen.

“Who? Y/N?” his friend asked incredulously.

Y/N. So that was her name.

“You know that annoying woman?”

“I do, although I can’t really say she’s annoying. Met her at the coach’s home once. She seemed rather sweet and intelligent to me.”

“She certainly hid that pretty well,” Manuel growled under his breath, earning him a surprised frown from Thomas.

“Are you gonna stand here and stare daggers at her or are you gonna tell me what she did to make you throw a fit?”

“She approached me out of nowhere to tell me that I’m dating a teenager to compensate my inability to commit to a partner on eye level.”

Thomas let his words sink in for a while.

“That doesn’t really sound like her. I mean, what reason would she have to come at you like that? She doesn’t even know you.”

Manuel sighed, thinking about the way she had somehow coaxed the statements from him instead of making them herself.

“Well, she might have phrased it differently,” he admitted meekly. That seemed to spark Thomas’ interest even further and he could feel his expectant look on him, pressing him to finally tell the whole truth.

“Actually she didn’t say it like that. She only made an allusion and made me somehow say those things myself.”

“Mhm. And exactly what allusion did she make?”

Manuel rolled his eyes again, his ego still fighting to repeat her words out loud.

”She said puberty was a bitch, clearly hinting at the fact that she thought my girlfriend was too young for me.”

He hadn’t even finished his sentence when Thomas’ roaring laughter filled the air.

“Now that does sound more like her.”

He needed a bit to contain himself when he suddenly looked up at Manuel with an unusually serious expression on his face.

“And I have to admit, Manu, she kind of has a fair point there.”

“What?”

Manuel could not believe his ears.

“Come on, man. It’s what everyone thinks. She just said it out loud.”

“Fuck you.”

But instead of rising to his expletive, Thomas just looked at him sympathetically. Pushing himself off of the counter, he pat his shoulder in an attempt to encourage him a little, ready to leave him to his self-denial.

But then he stopped. “You know, I personally didn’t have a problem with it. You’re an adult, you can make your own choices. As long as you’re happy, right? But the truth is, Manu, I don’t think you are. Not anymore.”

⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️

“See, I told you he wouldn’t be here. No need for all the panic beforehand.”

She narrowed her eyes at her cousin, shooting her a dirty look.

“Yeah, and I hope it’ll stay that way. Oh, and for the record: I wasn’t panicking at all, it was just you and your sister’s sudden eagerness to lure me here that got me suspicious and nervous in the first place.”

“We didn’t lure you here,” her other cousin piped up a little offendedly. “We simply wanted to spend some time with you. Come on, it’s been what, like 4 months now? Since you moved to Munich three years ago, we hardly get to see you anymore.”

“You and our father,” her sister added quickly. “So it seemed the best option to kill two birds with one stone and bring you along. After all it’s called a family day, right?”

Y/N sighed, not fully convinced, but finally ready to let the topic go.

“Right. Let’s just hope for your sakes that there will be no surprises today that might prove your guilt after all.”

“How are my girls doing?” she heard a familiar voice from behind her back, turning towards her favourite uncle with a beaming smile. What she didn’t see, however, was the brief look that was exchanged between her cousins as soon as she had turned her back, proving exactly what she had suspected all along.

“We’re good, dad. Actually, we’re more than good, we’re excellent,” the older cousin chirped.

“Great.” He paused a moment, but it was clear that he had more to say. Rocking back and forth on his feet, he looked from one woman to the other. “So,” he began carefully, before a huge Cheshire grin spread across his face. “I hope you all reserved a dance for me tonight.”

“Oh, no, daddy, not again.”

“Please, don’t make us do this.”

“There will be dancing here? If you had told me that beforehand, I certainly wouldn’t have come.”

“Of course there will be dancing. I thought that was obvious.” He had to try very hard to look a little slighted, while he actually drew a horrendous amount of amusement from their antics. “Remember, girls, we have a tradition to uphold. Whenever there is some dancing at a party, you have to reserve at least one dance for me. That’s the rule.”

And with that he turned and left them on their own again.

“Ugh, why does he always have to do that to us?” her younger cousin whined.

“Oh stop it, silly. You’re the one who likes it the most and everyone knows.”

⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️

She had been the first to pay tribute to the family tradition and after a very exhausting Discofox dance session, luckily one of her cousins had taken over from her. Kicking off her heels, she welcomed the feel of the cool grass underneath the soles of her feet. Walking over to one of the empty tables, she slumped down heavily into one of the comfortable looking chairs. With a contented smile she let herself fall back against the backrest, closing her eyes and breathing in the mild air of the warm summer night.

“Care for a drink?”

His voice made her jump, sitting up straight immediately, eyes shooting wide open. And there he was, two shot glasses in his large hands and grinning down at her, obviously very satisfied with the slight scare he had just given her. He looked amazing, the smug bastard, in his casual jeans and white shirt, two buttons undone, topped with a sporty black jacket. She highly doubted that she had ever seen a finer man in her entire life. Luckily that didn’t make her lose her sharp tongue.

“And here I am thinking that you weren’t fond of alcohol. What happened?”

He smiled sheepishly, only one corner of his mouth tugged up, when he handed her her drink. He took his time, grabbing a chair and positioning it opposite hers, then sitting down carefully, not wanting to spill the shot all over his chest. She had already come to think that he was trying to avoid her question after all, when he locked eyes with her and finally began to speak.

“Hm. It’s been a while since I last saw you. A lot of things happened, you know. Maybe it was finally time for me to grow up.”

“Hear, hear.” With a mischievous smile she raised her glass. “To your coming of age, then.”

He rolled his eyes playfully. “If you insist.”

His magnificent blue eyes never left hers while they chinked glasses, and a second later she could feel the more than welcome liquid moisturising her suddenly very dry mouth.

With a thud, their glasses landed on the table, both of them chuckling like giddy children when their eyes found each other again and then, for a moment, there was nothing but silence. The world seemed to have zoned out, leaving behind nothing but his aquamarine orbs and the wild smile on his face.

Just gradually, the world seemed to set back in again. There was the monotonous clitter of the crickets, overlaid by the muffled sound of the music that was carried over by a soft breeze, and loudest of all she could hear the beating of her own heart against her chest.

“What else has changed now that you are a proper adult?” she heard herself ask, not having the faintest idea where those words came from and how the hell she managed to deliver them so smoothly when her whole body seemed to have gotten out of control.

He took a quick look over his shoulder, his thumb pointing in the same direction.

“If you mean the dancing, I’m still not very fond of that.” Her face must have fallen a little because he was quick to add, “Except...”

“Except what?”

His eyes landed back on hers and she almost choked on her hitching breath.

“Except I think I could make an exception for the right partner.”

From the corner of her eye she registered a movement between their bodies, but she was hesitant to let her view stray from his captivating appearance. At last it was something in his eyes that looked at her expectantly which finally made her snap out of her trance.

Looking down at his hand sheepishly, it took her a while to fathom that he was actually asking her to dance with him.

Slowly her eyes wandered up to his again, asking a silent question, which he answered with an almost imperceptible rise of his eyebrows. And before she knew what she was doing, she laid her hand in his and let him pull her to her feet.

He had just turned towards the source of the music, when she suddenly held him back.

“No, wait.”

With a puzzled look he did what she asked of him and let her twist him back around.

“Why don’t we just stay here? The music is loud enough anyway.”

A gentle smile curved his lips. “Sure, if that’s what you want.”

She nodded softly, her teeth biting down on her lip in excitement.

And before she knew what was happening, she found herself secured against his chest by his firm grip. It felt like being pressed up to a hot furnace which she would usually have appreciated any other time, but on a sweltry night like this and in a place she had wanted to be in for so long, it was pure torture. And as if this wasn’t bad enough already, his strong fingers pressed down on her lower back, threatening to scorch her even through the fabric of her blouse as he pulled her an impossible inch further into him. He was so close now that she could sense the heat radiating off his cheek as well, bringing along a whiff of his enticing scent and she couldn’t help but close her eyes as she inhaled deeply and her head began to spin. It was odd, but her mind was completely blank by now, blank except for one thought and her lips spread into a blissful smile as she repeated it in her head again and again, relishing in the feeling that if either of them moved just the tiniest bit, their cheeks would inevitably touch.

Slowly they moved and despite the unhurried shift of their bodies her heart was beating so violently that she thought it pondered jumping out of her chest to meet his. There was no chance he wouldn’t be able to tell from the way he held her, and when he finally drew away a tad to look at her, she fully expected him to call her out for it.

But he didn’t. Instead his sinfully soft lips curled into a reassuring smile before he spoke.

“You were right.”

“I beg your pardon?”

A cute chuckle escaped his mouth, leaving the corners of his eyes crinkled in the most beautiful display of amusement.

“About what you said at your uncle’s birthday party.”

“Oh.” She had said a lot that evening, words that she had come to regret later and remembering them now set her cheeks on fire. “About what exactly?”

“About everything,” he admitted without hesitation, yet he couldn’t hide the spark of misery that flitted across his sea blue orbs. “Didn’t take me very long after that night to finally see things clearly.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” It was true. Although she knew that she probably sounded like a madwoman after everything she had confronted him with back then, at least the frown on his forehead seemed to confirm that. “I truly am. I really would have liked to see you happy.” Even if it was with that girl.

She was glad she had managed to keep that last bit to herself. She had no idea why she had said that she was sorry in the first place, but judging by the wild smile on his face it must have been the right words after all.

“Well, I certainly am happier now than I was that night.” He shrugged. “So, thank you, I guess.”

She huffed. “For what? Making absolutely inappropriate remarks on your relationship? I shouldn’t have done that. I know that now. So it should be me who is sorry here, don’t you think?”

She could feel his fingertips press into the soft flesh of her back.

“Don’t be. I guess you were exactly what I needed.” It took him a second before he realised what he had just said. “I mean it. It was exactly what I needed.”

His eyes snapped to the left and she was thankful that he couldn’t see the grin that decorated her lips as she watched the treacherous colour creep into his cheeks, spreading all the way to his ears. For a while he didn’t say another word, probably still trying feverishly to figure out a way to take back his slip of the tongue. And when he finally spoke, she wished he hadn’t.

“There is one thing though that I have gone over and over in my mind. But no matter how long I think about it, it just won’t make sense.”

She already knew that she wouldn’t like where this conversation was heading now, but she found herself asking nonetheless.

“And what is that?”

His head turned without a warning as his eyes searched her gaze and for the blink of an eye his lips came so close that she couldn’t say if they had actually brushed along hers or if her needy heart had just imagined their brief touch. He didn’t answer her question right away, his breath blending with her own in the narrow space between their faces and suddenly she wasn’t so sure anymore if she had really only dreamed up their fleeting foretaste of a kiss.

“Why did you do it?” Panic rose in her chest. She hadn’t done anything. After all it had been him who had turned his head. But as he went on, she realised that he wasn’t referring to that at all and the suffocating distress eased away bit by bit. “I mean, we didn’t even know each other when you decided to come at me like that.”

Now it was her who had to avert her gaze.

“I think I don’t really want to answer that question.”

“Why not?” His voice was so soft and gentle, making it even harder to answer him.

“Because the truth might be kind of ugly.”

“But the outcome wasn’t, so I think I’ll take that risk.”

Her feet stopped their mechanical movements as a violent shiver ran down her spine. So this would be it then. It would be over before it had really begun. Pity. But at least she would have the memory of these few minutes, of his genuine smile and the way he had held her tight against his chest. With a deep sigh she bid their daydream of a dance goodbye.

“I could tell you now that it was for some noble reason, but at the bottom of it all I think it was nothing more than jealousy that drew me to your table that night. I had been unable to ignore you all evening — ignore her. The way she behaved like a spoiled brat, drinking and losing control, not caring in the least that she not only made a fool out of herself but of you as well. God, I hated her in that moment, for having everything I ever wanted and riding roughshod over it. And when I saw you sitting there, looking so utterly crestfallen, somehow I couldn’t help it.”

An undefinable silence settled between them and the only sound that remained was the beat of the music wafting over from the party that went on behind his back. The faint whisper of the melody seemed to push itself up between them and tear them further apart, exactly as she had expected. And just like the bass, her heartbeat slowed until it died away completely.

It was over and everything she wanted to do was let go of his hand so she could do him the favour of leaving, but to her astonishment he refused to set her free. And rather then releasing her from his grip, he squeezed her hand, briefly and just once, but it was enough for her to find the courage and face him. But instead of finding a frown or a scornful pair of eyes, his blinding smile made her forget to breathe for a moment.

“I had hoped you might say that.” And with that he pulled her into his arms again and continued swaying her to the music as if she had not just revealed her repulsive self to him. Her brain still a step behind, she couldn’t do anything but stare up at him stupidly.

“What? Why?”

“Isn’t that obvious?” And when she shook her head like a petrified imbecile, an amused chuckle rumbled through his chest. “Because even though your behaviour was extremely infuriating, I have to admit that I like you. And asking you out on a date will be so much easier now that I know you like me too.”

With a violent jolt, the useless muscle inside her chest started to beat again, its heavy pounding filling her ears with white noise as the world around her started to spin. Unable to stop the motion, she felt herself leaning in, her nails digging into the undoubtedly expensive fabric of his jacket as she desperately tried to gain control over her unruly body.

“So, will you go out with me?”

It seemed like an eternity until she finally mustered the strength for a mechanical nod. Neither had she noticed in her struggle that he had stopped dancing, nor that the priceless look on her face had made his eyes and heart go soft for her.

“Great. That’s settled then. When are you free?”

It was only when he took a step back, taking his warmth with him as his hand slipped out of hers, that she snapped out of her trance.

“Now.”

“Now? Like right now?”

More like now as in before she could screw everything up again.

“Yes, why not? I know you have a busy schedule, so finding a date when we are both free might be tough. And above that, it is a beautiful summer evening.”

Had all those words really fallen from her mouth right now? Embarrassed about her lack of composure, her hand flew up to her mouth, making him smile again.

“I guess you have a fair point there.” And just like that, his hand was there again, fingers entwining slowly with hers like they had never been meant for anyone else. “All right then, let’s get out of here.”

***

Tag List: please let me know if you want to be removed or added by either ask or DM - thank you!

@summersong69 @myloveforhenrycavill @dorothea-hwldr @omgkatinka @ashesofblackroses @amberangel112 @madbaddic7ed @icarusblinders @zealoushound @asuni921 @endofalldays01 @nerra75 @indigosaurus @nowyouseeme098 @cap-just-said-language @miss-rebel-without-applause @wheretheriversrunintothesea @maan24 @mochionly @introvertedmouse @sofiebstar @kebabgirl67 @marytudorbrandon @littleone65

#manuel neuer x reader #manuel neuer x you #manuel neuer fanfiction #manuel neuer #football au #manuel neuer fanfic #manuel neuer fic #manuel neuer imagine #manuel neuer rpf #assumptions

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deanstead · 4 years

Text

Scared The Hell Out Of Me

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Request by @deandaydreaming: Can I pleaaase request an angsty dean x reader one shot where they get separated during a hunt and when they finally find each other she gets stabbed in the back (just like what happened to Sam) and she's bleeding so much and he nearly loses her...can you pleaaase include all the details, that makes it easier to imagine the story! Thank you so much! Love you 💚

Warnings: mentions of injury/blood, angst, fluff

A/N: Hope you like how this turned out and what I did with it! Always love writing about protective dean so thank you for the request!! As always would appreciate to hear what you guys think so hit up my ask/replies or even tags when you reblog! Thanks for all the love!

---

The door creaked as you pushed it open with one foot.

Being alone in a potentially haunted abandoned building was not what you had in mind when you had agreed with Sam that three of you should take on this case.

You’d entered the building with Sam and Dean but had lost them in the labyrinth of a building about half an hour ago. Your cell wasn’t working either, probably because the spirit or spirits were interfering with the signal.

You raised your gun as you walked out of the room, hesitating a little before letting your voice travel a little tentatively down the corridor. “Dean?”

You were met with silence.

You gritted your teeth but treaded carefully, swiveling your head this way and that, straining your ears to hear the sound of footsteps.

That’s when you felt it, a slight gust of wind before the hairs on the back of your neck rose.

You spun around, finding yourself facing the spirit. You gave a yelp of surprise, but before you could even pull the trigger, you felt it throw you backwards.

You groaned as you felt yourself slam against the wall, the force of it knocking the breath out of you and you sank to the ground. You didn’t have time to hesitate. Staring at the spirit that was now holding a knife, you pulled your gun upwards and let out a shot, the salt pellet shooting out of your gun.

---

Dean’s head snapped up as he heard a gunshot ring out.

“Y/N.” He muttered as he ran towards the sound.

“Dean, wait!” Sam called and Dean spun around. “I’ll go down to the basement. If I’m right, I might be able to find the bones there.”

Dean hesitated.

“I’ll be fine.” Sam said, turning away. “Find her.” Sam stressed, running in the opposite direction.

Dean started running. He’d been looking for you since you had been separated. He didn’t like not knowing where you were, especially in the middle of a hunt – a hunt for a violent spirit that was taking place in a huge abandoned building.

Dean glanced at his phone, the no signal sign still flashing. Gritting his teeth, he picked up his pace, moving towards where he thought the gunshot had come from, hoping he was running in the right direction.

---

You groaned, your shoulder throbbing from the impact with the wall.

“Damn spirits.” You muttered, clambering to your feet and looking around again. You really hated hunting spirits, they were nasty and unless you knew where their remains were, it was almost impossible to fight them.

You hated spirits. But even more than that, you hated spirits that could freaking hold weapons.

The sound of footsteps made you turn your head again. Your gun still held protectively out in front of you as it got nearer and nearer.

“Dean.” You exhaled as you saw your favourite person in the world round the corner.

Dean’s expression echoed your feeling of relief – glad that he was safe and also feeling much better just being able to see his face again.

“Y/N.” Dean’s relief could be heard in his voice as he moved towards you, smiling, letting his hand which was gripping his gun fall to his side.

It happened in an instant. The hairs on the back of your neck rose and you saw Dean’s expression change. Then, you felt it – a sharp pain in your lower back as you felt the knife pierce your skin. You let out a strangled cry as you felt the knife twist.

“No! Y/N!” Dean yelled, pulling out his gun to shoot, aiming straight for the spirit that was behind you. Before he could even pull the trigger, the spirit gave a cry as it went out in flames. Sam had done it, he’d found the remains, salted and burned it. Just a few seconds too late

“Y/N!” Dean sprinted to you as you fell to your knees. It felt like your whole life force was being sucked out of you, you could almost feel the energy seeping out of you bit by bit.

Dean closed the gap between you, sliding the last few inches on his knees, taking you by your shoulders the moment you were within reach.

“D…”

“No, no, no…” Dean muttered, pulling you towards him. Your face fit snugly into his shoulder like it always did but this time, Dean didn’t like how motionless you were. He reached his hand around to your back, finding the penetration wound from the spirit’s attack, pressing his hand against it.

When Dean pulled away, his hand was stained with blood. Your blood. Enough blood that Dean was really worried. It didn’t look like something a little patching up would fix. Dean pressed down on your wound again.

Dean pulled you upwards. “Hey, hey, look at me.” He spoke, putting his free hand to your face.

Your eyes were fluttering shut. “No, no, sweetheart please.” Dean whispered. “Baby, don’t give up on me.”

“Dean, I can’t…” You muttered.

“No, no. Don’t give up on me, honey. You’re okay, you’re going to be okay.” Dean pleaded.

“Y/N?” Dean felt your body go limp in his arms.

“Y/N!” Dean yelled, his voice echoing against the walls.

“Dean?” Sam’s voice broke through Dean’s panic. He hadn’t even heard his brother’s footsteps. “Oh god.” Sam whispered.

“Dean!” Sam shouted, pulling Dean out of his paralyzing fear. “We have to get her out of here. I’ll get the car, come on.”

Dean pulled himself up, scooping your motionless body into his arms, one of his hands still pressed onto your back.

The empty building felt even larger than it had felt just now. Dean picked up his pace as quick as he could with you in his arms, running after Sam.

Dean held you close to him, laying you into the Impala and climbing into the backseat with you as Sam jumped into the car and started the engine.

Laying your head gently on his lap, Dean quickly shed his jacket, rolling it up into a ball and pushing it under you, pressing it against the wound.

“Sam, faster.” Dean said through gritted teeth as he looked down at you.

“You hang in there, you hear me?” Dean whispered, as Sam pressed harder on the accelerator, speeding towards the hospital.

---

Sam pulled up the hospital as Dean scrambled out, scooping you back into his arms and onto a stretcher the nurses had brought out.

Dean followed close behind as the nurses pushed you in, a doctor catching up to them and already starting to examine you.

“We have to take her into surgery.” The words echoed in Dean’s head while he stood frozen, staring past the doctor, his eyes focused on you lying motionless in the treatment room of the emergency department.

“Thank you.” Sam’s voice sounded from next to Dean, causing Dean to pull his eyes away from you for just a moment, nodding to the doctor.

It was only after you were wheeled into surgery that Dean noticed his hands were still shaking.

Sam put a hand on Dean’s shoulder but he shrugged it off, choosing to pace up and down in the waiting room, looking down at his hands that were still stained with your blood. When Sam tried to coax him into washing off the blood, Dean gave his brother a furious look. “I’m not going anywhere.” Dean snapped.

It felt like hours before the surgeon finally stepped out.

“The injury was severe and she lost a lot of blood. The penetration nicked some of her internal organs and we found a massive internal bleed as well.” The doctor said.

Dean didn’t say anything, staring straight at the doctor.

“It wasn’t easy, but we managed to control the bleeding and repaired it. If you had come in any later, we might have lost her.” The doctor finally said, looking from Dean to Sam.

Dean let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding as Sam let out a sigh of relief as well.

“Can we see her?” Dean asked, keeping his voice steady.

The doctor nodded, “We’ll transfer her to recovery in a while. A nurse will be by to get you.”

“Thanks Doctor.” Sam responded.

---

The first thing you saw when you opened your eyes a few hours later was Dean’s face hovering above yours.

“Sight for sore… everything.” You muttered.

Dean sighed.

“You scared the hell out of me.” Dean said. You could see the thin stress lines in his forehead, the way his green eyes watched you carefully, as if afraid you would slip past him again.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered.

Dean’s eyebrows twitched a little before he shook his head. “I could hear you, Dean.” You whispered. “I could hear you calling me, talking to me… I just couldn’t answer you. I couldn’t…” You paused. “That was scary as hell.”

Dean sighed, scooting a little closer to you. “You’re telling me. I thought I was going to lose you.”

You reached for his hand. “I’m sorry.” You whispered again.

Instead of answering you, Dean bent towards you, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead before putting an arm around you, tucking you tightly into him as you closed your eyes, once again enveloped by the feeling of safety of Dean’s mere presence.

---

DEAN WINCHESTER TAGLIST

@akshi8278 | @mrspeacem1nusone | @starlight-halstead

If you would like to be added to a taglist, you may request here or send me an ask!

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cloudy-minded-idiot · 4 years

Text

closing time - part 2

pairing: Natasha Romanoff x female reader

warning: none that I can think of

word count: 2,700-ish

a/n: just wanted to thank everyone who took the time to comment, reblog or like the first part 💕 your support truly means a lot to me. everyone who has asked to be tagged or requested a second part has been @-ed below.

previous part

"Who are you talking to?”

The question came seemingly out of nowhere, making you jump so hard you almost dropped the phone in your hand.

“Jesus, woman!” you swore, putting your free hand over your rapidly beating heart, “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

Natasha was fresh out of the shower, her wet hair twisted in a towel. The redhead was wearing an oversized grey hoodie and some sweatpants that you had found somewhere deep inside your closet. She looked adorable, you had to admit, like a kid wearing their parent's clothes. The sight strangely made your stomach flip.

“Force of habit, I'm afraid,” she smiled apologetically, carefully sitting down on the couch. Her face was finally clean, no more mud, blood, or grime sticking to her features. Except for the blue-ish bruise on her left cheekbone, and a small cut near her eyebrow, her skin was unfairly flawless.

“So, are you gonna answer my question?”, she plopped her feet up on your coffee table, shaking you out of your thoughts. With a shrug, you pocketed your phone, hoping she hadn’t noticed your staring.

“Just work. Called in sick until Tuesday. After all, I can’t let you roam around my apartment unsupervised. For one, you’re injured, for another, you’re still a stranger.”

On your way to the couch, you picked up the first aid kit from your kitchen counter.

“A stranger?” she repeated with mock hurt, putting a hand over her heart, “ You wound me. After everything we’ve been through, I really thought we were getting closer.”

Shaking your heart amusedly, you sat down next to her. Balancing the first aid kit on your thigh, you pulled on a pair of rubber gloves with a snap. You could feel her gaze on you, watching your every move. Nervously, you cleared your throat, a little uncomfortable with her attention.

“Let’s have a look,” you nod to her and she complied with your unspoken request, pulling the hoodie up just enough for you to access her injury. Gingerly, you removed the bandage, dumping it into the trash can and inspecting the stitched wound, quietly humming in concentration as you did.

“I think you strained it a bit with your morning escapades today but I don’t think you pulled any of the stitches,” you concluded after a moment. Your voice sounded more sure than you actually felt about your assessment, considering all your expertise came from the internet. But, apparently, your word was good enough for your patient.

“See, I told you. You worried for nothing,” she slapped your shoulder jestingly and you rolled your eyes, taking out a new bandage to re-wrap the wound.

“I wouldn’t say for nothing. After all, you have been stabbed and only received medical attention from an amateur,” you pointed out, giving her a chastising look when she tried to dismiss your troubles with a languid hand motion.

“I think you should be concerned by the fact that I seem to be more worried about your health than you are," you continued, undeterred, "How's the pain, by the way?”

She shrugged nonchalantly, waving away your concerns, “I’ve had worse.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I'll be fine”, Natasha insisted with emphasis, “Besides, I don’t like taking painkillers. Dulls the senses.”

If you weren’t as tired as you were, you might have argued a little more. Instead, all you did was sigh and give a curt nod to signal your understanding. You didn’t really get her at all. If she was just going to hang around your apartment for the next couple of days, then who cares if her senses are dulled? It wasn't like anyone knew she would be here.

You finished wrapping her wound, leaning back to observe it from afar. You were admittedly getting better at bandaging. So that was a plus point.

“Alright, that’s it,” you nodded pleased, starting to clean up. Natasha inspected your work as well, pulling her hoodie back down once she was satisfied.

“You’re surprisingly good. Have you ever done this before?”

Chuckling, you shook your head, closing the little dark green box on your lap.

“You mean have I ever stitched someone together before and let them take refuge in my home? No. Can’t say I have.”

She smiled at your sarcastic tone, rolling her eyes playfully, before smirking mischievously.

“Ah, I'm your first. I'm honoured.”

You flushed at the implication of her statement, trying to hide your embarrassment by fiddling with the first aid kit. Don’t overthink it. You do not want these kinds of thoughts right now. Not about her. Sure, she is beautiful and it is kind of fun to banter with her and she has probably the most beautiful eyes you had ever seen and her lips…

“So, what’s your verdict doc?” she nudged you back to reality, amusement in her voice. You cleared your throat, shaking your head to clear your previous thoughts away.

“You need rest. Lots of it. No putting unnecessary strain on your injury,” you explained distractedly, pulling the gloves from your hands and letting them drop into the trash can, “So, I forbid you from leaving the couch for anything other than using the bathroom. Like I said before, if you need something, ask me.”

“You forbid me? My, my, how bossy of you. Then again, your home, your rules.”

“I just don’t want you to make anything worse,” you replied earnestly, ignoring her teasing tone.

Natasha grinned, eyes sparkling, leaning dangerously close to you.

“It's cute how concerned you are,” she almost whispered, her breath ghosting over your face. You felt your heart speed up.

“Don’t tell me you care about this lil old stranger here.”

Needing to remove yourself from this situation, you practically jumped off the couch, trying to play your reaction off with an annoyed eye-roll and a huff.

“Don’t be so full of yourself. I just don’t want you to start bleeding again. Might end up ruining my carpet,” you explained, the words leaving your mouth so quickly, it was a wonder you didn’t stumble over them. You resolved to change the topic entirely.

“Want anything to eat? Drink?”

Without sparing a second, you walked over to the kitchen, idly opening the fridge and looking through it just to keep your mind busy and eyes away from her. The frigid air definitely helped cool down your heated face as well. So that was a nice side effect.

“Vodka on the rocks would be nice,” she quipped. You shook your head, well-aware that she couldn’t see you, hidden away behind the fridge door. Apparently, your silence was answer enough though, because only a few seconds later, she let out a concessive sigh.

“Fine. Water will do.”

Preparing her a glass, you carried it over to the living room area, nudging her foot with your leg to get her to take them off your coffee table. She complied begrudgingly, accepting the glass and draining most of it in one gulp. It was only when you noticed a single droplet running down her chin that you realized you were staring. Again. Very obviously. Immediately you averted your gaze, opting to eyeball the wall in the far distance.

“So, what are you gonna do today? Anything planned?”

What a terrible question.

“Not really,” you saw her shrug out of the corner of your eye, “But I do need to use your radio again. Would you mind grabbing it for me?”

“Uh, sure.”

You spotted the device on the tv cabinet. Handing it over, you made certain that it was plugged in for her, watching the red digits on the small display light up. For a moment you remained in place, observing her as she fumble with it, her forehead creased in concentration. Feeling awkward just standing around, you approached, anxiously rubbing at the back of your neck in search for something to say.

“Can I ask, what exactly is it that you do with it?”

She seemed to mull your question over, before patting the couch cushion next to her.

“Sit. I’ll show you.”

You do, making sure to keep a decent amount of distance between you while still being able to see what she was doing. Natasha showed you how to switch to a shortwave radio station and how to input messages to be transmitted. The static sound filled your apartment again, changing to a couple of high-pitched sounds once in a while when she enters a new code. It was fascinating, something that seemed entirely taken out of an old spy movie.

“So, you’re sending encoded messages to someone?” you summarised her explanation, intrigued, “Do you use morse code for the encryption?”

“Morse code. That’s cute,” Natasha let out a short laugh, shaking her head in amusement. The towel her hair was wrapped somehow stayed in place. She looked up at you with a cocky smile, her eyes meeting yours and taking your breath away for a moment.

“If I wanted all the other agencies in the world to know my location, then yes, I'd use morse code. No, this is my very own code. Only a handful of people know it.”

“Impressive. So this means you’re a spy, right?”, you asked as she continued working on her transmission, “Because this is textbook spy behaviour.”

Natasha didn’t reply. Not that you had expected her to. Yep, definitely a spy. That would also explain her injury and need to lay low for a few days.

“So, do all secret spies have their own encryption codes, or are you just special?”

“Oh, I think you’ll find that I’m very special,” she quipped seriously, not looking up from her task, “Once I'm recovered, I’ll gladly show you my special set of skills up close.”

You blinked, perplexed, cocking your head to the side.

“I’m not sure whether you’re trying to threaten or flirt with me,” you remarked, a frown settling on your face. The redhead turned the radio off, putting it down next to her and looking up at you with a big grin.

“And isn’t that just part of the fun?”

--------

Natasha, it turned out, had quite the talent for coming up with pick-up lines that could double as thinly veiled threats. You did your best not to show how flustered she made you, either changing the subject, feigning ignorance, or trying to come across as exasperated or annoyed instead. To be honest, you did rather enjoy her flirtatious remarks. After all, it wasn’t every day that such a beautiful and quick-witted woman hit on you, even if it was just in jest. She also had something rather mysterious about her that intrigued you. It was probably a spy thing.

She, in turn, seemed to grow more comfortable around you as time passed. Daring to express her emotions more openly without always relying on sarcasm or flirtation. The memory of making her laugh out loud for the first time - a real laugh that had her throwing her head back and crinkling her eyes - was practically ingrained into your mind. Even now, just thinking about it, brought a fond smile to your face and made your heart flutter.

You weren’t stupid. At least you liked to think you weren’t. No, you were fully aware of the fact that you were developing feelings for the secretive redhead. And you knew that it was a terrible idea, that you should fight it. After all, she would be leaving soon and you weren't likely to see her again. But resisting her charms was a lot harder than you had anticipated. Especially, when you had to share your small apartment.

So, instead, you decided to treasure whatever short time you did have with her. You cooked her your favourite dish, blushing when she complimented your skills in the kitchen. The two of you watched several movies huddled together on your couch. You had seen them all before but enjoyed watching her point out all the unrealistic plot points and inconsistencies, only to end up grinning like an idiot at the cheesy happy ending. You also came up with several bad and dorky jokes just to hear her laugh out loud again. It felt nice. Almost domestic and natural.

But in the end, Tuesday came sooner than you had hoped. All night long, you had laid tossing and turning in your bed, dreading what would happen.

The sun was not yet out when you heard the now-familiar sound of radio static coming from your living room. Suddenly very awake, you practically shot out of your bed and hurried out the door.

Natasha was already dressed to leave, hair pulled back into a braid. A few locks had escaped and framed her lovely face. She looked up when she heard you enter, putting the radio aside.

“Morning,” she greeted with a small smile, “You’re up uncharacteristically early. Did I wake you up?"

“It’s fine. Didn't sleep well anyways,” you assured her, brushing a hand through your hair. A moment of silence.

“So. It’s Tuesday, huh?”

“Observant as always. My colleague will be picking me up shortly if that is what you’re asking.”

Dread filled you. While you knew this moment was coming, you suddenly found yourself wholly unprepared for it.

“Then the air is clear again, right? Successfully laid low?”, you asked, fumbling with your hands as you rambled on, “That’s good. Great.”

The redhead quirked an eyebrow at you, shouldering a small duffel bag as she approached you.

“It is indeed great. Means I won’t be targeted the moment I step outside your door,” she commented casually. As if possibly being assassinated wasn’t a big deal.

“Right. Good,” you nodded in agreement, unsure what else to say to that. She stopped directly in front of you, regarding you curiously. Your pulse spiked.

“Need me to check out your wound again? One final examination before you’re dismissed from the hospital?” you offered. Natasha shook her head.

“I’m fine. You did a great job, doc,” she flashed you a big smile, “I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me these past few days.”

Face growing warm, you make a throw-away motion with your arm.

“No need to thank me. I really enjoyed spending time with you,” you tell her genuinely, meeting her green gaze. Her expression softened. she took another step closer. Your breath hitched at her close proximity.

“Me, too. But I’d still like to express my deep gratitude."

Something mischievous flashed in her eyes. Before you could ask her what she meant, she had already cupped your face and pulled your face to hers.

The moment your lips met, every other thought you had vanished from your mind. Electricity shot through your veins, your skin tingled where she touched you. After a moment you caught yourself and returned the kiss, pressing back against her, your hands carefully settling on her waist.

For a while, nothing else seemed to matter. Breathing, thinking, everything appeared rather trivial in comparison to this feeling of her lips on yours. It wasn't until a loud knock sounded on the door, that you broke apart. You were both breathing hard. Your eyes met and the smile she gave you had to be the most beautiful sight you had ever seen.

“My colleague’s here", she whispered, somehow breaking through the fog in your mind. Right. She was about to leave. You swallow against the lump that formed in your throat. Still unable to find words, you just nod, taking a small step back. You tried to keep the sadness off your face and most likely failed miserably.

To your surprise, she laughed, shaking her head.

“Don’t look so glum. This doesn’t have to be goodbye.”

“It doesn’t?” you asked hopefully. Natasha gave you a look full of adoration, pulling a small slip of paper from her pocket.

“I'll probably be busy for a few days, but I have nothing planned next week,” she pressed the paper into your palm. Unfolding it, you saw a phone number scribbled on it in blue ink. A big grin overtook your face as she continued.

“I'm sure we can work something out. I'd love to take you out.”

You meet her eyes, butterflies going wild in your stomach.

“Take me out as in on a date, or…?” you asked jokingly.

Wordlessly, she pressed a small kiss to your cheek.

“Guess you’ll have to wait and find out.”

___________________________________________

taglist: @blackxwidowsxwife @fishlikestuff @madamevirgo @chickenhavewisdom

#natasha romanoff x female reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #marvel fanfiction #black widow x reader

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acnelli · 3 years

Note

You know, I'm saddened by the lack of popularity Romione has compared to Dramione. Why does Dramione have more smut arts than Romione?

Hey anon,

Hm, I guess I can't answer why Dramione has more smutty art than Romione. But one thing that comes to mind is that probably the Dramione side of the fandom is more supportive of their content creators (namely artists and writers) than Romione folks.

Don't be afraid, anon. My following observations are not an angry response to your ask (your ask was totally fine), but something I realised since I actively joined the fandom. This might become a longer post, so I'll put the rest under a read-more line. For the Dramione (multi-) shippers following me, you can safely read the rest. I'll not compare ships or anything.

This will be actually a post about how to create a safe and satisfying fandom experience for yourself and for others.

Since I joined the fandom (here on Tumblr) I went through a learning process. I joined because I discovered my old Romione/Ron Weasley love and wanted to read fanfiction about them again, discover fanart and interact with other fandom folks.

I started with Facebook Fanfiction groups and was immediately disappointed with 1) the lack of Romione/Ron Weasley content and 2) the full on Weasley hate and super toxic posts of one particular group there. I was not just disappointed, I was positively devastated. But then I thought "This can't be it? There surely have to be people who don't think like that?" I googled a little and stumbled upon some Tumblr posts and remembered fanfic writers mentioning Tumblr on their A/N.

I joined Tumblr at the beginning of 2020, so not that long ago. I'm well aware that Tumblr has its problems. That was obvious for me from the beginning. But what I loved and still love about Tumblr is the possibility to exclude tags (I'll talk about this later). And so I followed different blogs, found other blogs, and got to know some amazing and talented people along the way.

I got back into writing again. I read a ton of fanfiction, mainly Romione. And I had some great discussions about my favorite characters and ships. And over time, I've noticed something. Because to me it seems that the Romione fandom isn't super good at telling creators how much their work is valued.

The thing is, we are all the captain of our ship(s). We're responsible for our own fandom experience and here are some pointers how you get more of the content you want (especially if you can't or don't want to create it yourself).

Tumblr

Follow blogs which post and reblog content you like

Find fanart, stories, meta, etc. about your favorite characters and ships

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babyboibucky · 4 years

Text

Babysitting Bucky - Part 6

Pairing: FATWS!Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2,217

Summary: You’ve been assigned by the government to keep an eye on the Winter Soldier to ensure that he was no longer a threat to the world.

Warnings: Implied oral (F receiving) wink wink, mention of self-harm

A/N: My works are rarely proofread because I’m a mediocre bitch like that lmfao. Thank you to everyone who signed up to my masterlist and for all the feedback!!! I really love reading everyone’s reactions, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated luv u all xoxo

Also, I can’t tag some of those who requested to be in my taglist, I apologize :(

MASTERLIST

You were out of it the entire night of the stakeout; your mind always found its way back to how Bucky looked like when he got out of the shower. It was as if it was imprinted in your brain, how his vibranium arm glistened beneath the dim motel light and how low his towel hung around his waist easily showing off that glorious V-cut that led down to his—

“Jesus Christ.” You huffed out quietly as you laid in bed.

Bucky volunteered to take the first shift so you could get some sleep in before your turn. Given that you haven’t gotten enough rest since your arrival at the compound, you knew better than to argue.

Despite Bucky’s half-naked body plaguing your thoughts, sleep came to you easily.

Something hard and cold being wrapped around your arm slowly stirred you from your sleep. You managed to ignore it until you felt the same sensation again, but this time on your legs down to your ankles.

You gasped awake when your legs were pulled apart, “What the fuck?!” You exclaimed upon seeing none other than the Winter Soldier in between your legs.

He looked up at you with dark eyes, something you’ve never seen on him before. “It’s okay, Agent.” He cooed and pressed an open-mouthed kiss on your right leg, eliciting a soft whimper from you.

“What are you—“

“You were moaning my name is your sleep.” He said, voice an octave lower and rough around the edges.

Your heart was pounding so fast that you could literally hear and feel it. This was so wrong and yet you couldn’t bring yourself to shove Bucky away, especially when he was pressing soft kisses towards the inside of your thighs.

“Mister Barnes, I don’t think—“

“Bucky.”

The way Bucky said his name was unlike any other. It was downright commanding and the authority that oozed from his tone made your stomach flutter. You could feel yourself start to get wet at how Bucky’s metal hand pried your legs even wider.

“I want you to call me Bucky when I make you cum. You hear me, Agent?”

You could nod in response, licking your lips in anticipation.

“Agent?”

You hummed again.

“Agent? Hey...”

You felt a couple of taps on your arm before your eyes snapped open. Sitting up immediately, you found yourself staring at Bucky who was looking at you suspiciously.

“It’s time for your shift, Agent.” He said.

You frantically looked around the motel room and then back up at Bucky who looked just as confused at your demeanor. Blood rushed to your face when you finally realized what had just happened.

You had a fucking wet dream about Bucky Barnes. What the actual fuck?!

“Are you...okay?” Bucky asked again.

“Yes. Yes I am okay, Mister Barnes.” You answered quickly with a frantic nod. “Can you...” you said holding a finger at Bucky and avoiding his gaze as you got up from your bed.

“I’m sorry can you just...let me just...I...bathroom real quick.” You stammered and rushed into the bathroom, locking it immediately before resting your head against the door.

You were sweating all over when you faced the mirror and your face was red as fuck. Not only did your dream fluster you, but it turned you on as well and now you needed to find release.

How the fuck were you going to face Bucky now?!

You splashed your face with water hoping that it’d calm you down but the throb was just not going away. Would it be unprofessional to rub one out during a stakeout? You were embarrassed at your thoughts but the dream really did a number on you and you weren’t sure if the throb was something you can ignore.

Just as when you zipped down your jeans, a series of loud knocks made you jolt.

“Agent? Are you okay in there?” Bucky asked as he continued to knock.

“Uhh, yes. I’ll be out in a sec!” You called out in panic.

“Are you sure? Do you need anything? Like...a pad or something...” Bucky asked, voice soft and uncertain as if he was ashamed of his question.

It was a sweet thing for Bucky to do, considering that you jumped out of bed and rushed to the bedroom. You understood why he thought you got your period. You’d take that over him finding out the real reason why you were so flustered.

Deciding to simply ignore how wet you actually were, you straightened up and opened the door before Bucky could even knock again.

“I’m fine, Mister Barnes.” You told him but refused to meet his gaze.

Bucky narrowed his eyes at you, “Are you sure?” He asked again.

You just nodded and moved past him, unable to ignore how he smelled divinely good when you caught a whiff of his scent as you walked away from him. You sat down on the chair he situated right in front of the window and tried to focus on the task at hand.

“You know, you can drop the act, Agent.” Bucky said.

You heard his footsteps behind you, followed by some shuffling and then the squeaking of the mattress. You still refused to look back at him.

“I don’t think I understand what you mean by that, Mister Barnes.” You said and bit your lip when you heard a couple more shuffling from behind.

“You being too formal around us...around me.” Bucky said.

You rolled your eyes, “I’m just being professional. This is a job after all. I’d like to keep things formal.” You explained.

You were doing pretty well at hiding the fact that you were internally screaming. Never have you experienced such distress during a mission. You’ve been tasked to undercover plenty of times now, most of which required you to work with dangerous men and women but you never faltered.

It’s as if Bucky Barnes had a different effect on you and what you hated the most was that he was just being himself and yet you were losing your mind.

“I’m still not giving up on making you call me Bucky.” He said with a soft chuckle.

His statement turned you red from the memory of your dream, when he asked you to call him that before he dove right into your—

“Hey, Agent...” Bucky snapped you out of your dirty thoughts.

You cleared your throat, finally turning to look at him, “Yes, Mister Barnes?”

He was situated on his bed, fluffing out the pillows. “I don’t have to be formal around you, right? I mean...it’s not like I am expected to do so given that you were sent to babysit me. See what I do on the daily...” Bucky was on to something, you could hear the playfulness in his voice.

When you didn’t respond, he merely shrugged before laying down and pulling the covers. However, you swore you saw his lips tug into a smirk before turning around on the bed, facing the wall. You stared at Bucky’s back for a good few seconds before facing the window again, wondering what his question meant.

You tried not to think about your dream. That was all that was, a stupid fucking wet dream.

It seemed to be uneventful during your shift since there wasn’t anything suspicious happening at the fruit shop. It was closed and no one came by nor passed by since then. You decided to work on your reports to pass the time; not that you had plenty of things to write down. There wasn’t really anything important to report about Bucky.

You’d been stressing over Secretary Ross’ suggestion to trigger Bucky during the stakeout. That man really wanted you to spite Bucky and get a reaction, you were starting to question the reason why they sent you on this mission.

Your thoughts were abruptly interrupted when you heard Bucky grunt and murmur inaudible things in his sleep. You turned around and saw him tossing and turning in bed; his brows were creased and bullets of sweat began to form on his forehead.

“No...please no...” he murmured as his metal arm began to jolt.

You noticed how Bucky seemed to be holding down his own arm, as if preventing it from further moving. He kept on groaning in his sleep and when he began breathing heavily, you hopped out of your seat and went over to his bed.

“Mister Barnes, wake up.” You felt stupid for simply calling him out instead of shaking him awake.

It worried you that he might not respond well to being touched, especially during a nightmare. However, he kept on grunting and panting that it was starting to worry you.

Carefully, you placed a hand on Bucky’s face and tried to gently soothe him.

“Mister Barnes, come on. Wake up.” You coaxed but to no avail.

Bucky’s movements were becoming violent in the sense that he was restraining himself. His other hand grabbed at his shoulder where the vibranium prosthetic was connected at. He started clawing at it as if wanting to remove it and it was at the moment that you started shaking him awake.

“Wake up, Mister Barnes!” You called out but he wasn’t responding.

Afraid that he might end up hurting himself, you sat down on the bed and took his face in between your palms.

“Mister Barnes, wake up...Mister Bar— Bucky, wake up!”

As if on cue, Bucky’s eyes opened as he gasped awake. His chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. You could see the fear in his eyes as he frantically blinked. Your body seemed to have moved on their own because you realized that your thumbs have been caressing his face.

“You’re alright, Bucky. You were just having a nightmare.” You murmured.

Bucky panted and closed his eyes for a brief moment, as if he was trying to regain his senses. And when he opened them, he was directly looking at you with an expression you couldn’t explain. What you do know was that it made you feel things you’ve never felt before.

Definitely not lust, of course. Something else, something that you chose to push back and ignore.

“You okay?” You asked and and let go of Bucky’s face before standing up to give him space as he sat up on the bed.

Bucky swallowed hard and buried his face i to his palms, nodding his head as a response. You went over to the table and grabbed a bottle of water, twisting the cap open before handing it to Bucky who murmured a soft thank you.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He asked worriedly.

You shook your head, “No, not at all. I was more afraid that you might hurt yourself.” You admitted and walked over to your own bed, sitting down on it.

“How bad was it?” You asked curiously. “Your dream.” You quickly added.

Bucky chuckled before running a hand through his hair, “At this point I couldn’t tell. I’ve gotten used to it. But I didn’t wake up with gashes on my shoulder so it’s not the worse.”

It made you feel bad that Bucky seemed to humor himself and his tendency to inflict pain on his own skin. Despite his nonchalant laughter, you could see the pain and exhaustion in his eyes. How could a man put up to such experience every night?

“Thank you, Agent.” Bucky’s soft voice echoed in the air.

“For what?”

“For waking me up. Not everyone would do that, most would be scared to do so. Who knows what I could’ve done, right?”

You shook your head, “You would’ve done nothing. You are your own person now, you could do no wrong.”

Bucky smiled at you, one that wasn’t forced. It was a smile of genuine amusement. “Careful, Agent. If your boss heard you he might think you’re getting all soft on me.” He teased.

It was a joke of course, you were aware of that. But it also made you realize that there was truth in Bucky’s statement and it scared you. You’ve never felt so personally affected by someone you haven’t known for so long. Perhaps it was because you’ve read too many things about him? Was it out of pity? The guy had been tormented for decades, it really wasn’t that hard to empathize. Whatever the reason was, you knew it was inappropriate for you to feel a certain way.

Bucky must have noticed how you stiffened and quickly spoke up, “I was just teasing, Agent.” He reassured.

“But really, thank you. And it was nice to finally hear you call me Bucky.” He said.

It was a slip of the tongue but not entirely. He wasn’t responding to you the first few times you woke him up. It made sense for you to call him Bucky to wake him up from his nightmare. And although his preferred name felt so much better to say, you needed to hold back.

You got up from your bed and went back to your position right in front of the window, feeling Bucky’s gaze follow you as you moved around.

“I just did what I needed to do. Don’t get used to it, Mister Barnes.”

And just like that, your cold and firm demeanor was back.

Babysitting Bucky Tag List:

@chipilerendi @procrastinationinawriter @supraveng @sammypotato67 @grace-writes-shit @tanyaherondale @dev-loves-siri @ahahafudge @nerdgirl0824 @thomasthetankson @its-yasbxtch @buckyswintersoldiermask @babemendesxz @madddddyy

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14 @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3 @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm

#bbbwrites #babysitting bucky #bucky barnes #bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fic #bucky smut #bucky fic #sebastian stan

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vivianweasley · 4 years

Text

I Found You (Fred W.)

Summary: Being soulmates, you and Fred could sometimes feel each other’s feeling and Fred is always there for you when you needed him.

A/N: This is my Secret Santa fic for @hufflepuffgirly ! Merry Christmas lovely and hope you would like it!

Prompt: soulmate au, childhood friends to lovers, also somewhat inspired by Nothing Else Matters by Metallica

Pairing: Fred Weasley x gender neutral!reader

Warning: being lost, mention of being afraid, pure fluff!

Word count: ~850

Special thanks to @starlightweasley for organizing this and @valwritesx for helping me brainstorm the ideas for this soulmate au!<3

Disclaimer: all the pictures used in the header are from Pinterest. Credit goes to the original owners.

Please do NOT repost or translate my work on another site without explicit permission! Thank you! Reblogs and comments are always welcome:)

While some people might take as long as a lifetime to find their soulmate, you and Fred definitely had it easy for you two simply grew up together.

1991, you were camping with the Weasleys during summer break. The kids were playing in the woods while the adults were preparing dinner.

Fred and George were hiding behind trees. They just set up a tripwire and were waiting for someone to trip. But the mischievous smile soon froze on Fred’s face, as he felt fear starting to cloud his brain. He started trembling, and he felt lost, even though he knew exactly where he was.

He couldn’t pinpoint the source of this fear. This emotion didn’t feel like his own, but more like a message from someone. Like someone was calling for him; someone needed him.

Fred soon realized that it could be his soulmate. In the wizarding world, there are some moments when people could feel their soulmates’ feelings. These moments happened randomly, and sometimes it’s hard to tell if it was their own feelings or not. In fact, some people could live their entire life without ever finding their soulmates.

“Where are you going!” George yelled when Fred suddenly started running.

“Find my soulmate!” Fred was thrilled. It’s possible that he could find his soulmate today! But he was also scared, for his soulmate could be in danger now.

The sun was setting, and it was getting dark and chilly in the woods. The fear was getting worse, and he knew he needed to hurry up. He didn’t know where he was going, but the feeling of someone needing him was pulling him, leading his way.

And when he saw you crouching down and sobbing, everything suddenly made sense. Of course it was you. Why would it be anyone else?

He should’ve known when you started crying and rubbing your knee, even though he was the one who tripped.

He should’ve known when he and George were pranking someone during charms, and you started laughing too, even though you were sitting in the front of the classroom.

You were the one who’s always there for him, the one he could so easily open up to, and the one he could share his wildest dreams with. You were his best friend, and you were his crush for as long as he could remember.

“Y/N?” Fred carefully sounded out your name. He didn’t want to startle you and absolutely didn’t want this delicate moment to disappear.

“Freddie!!”

His voice was like the lighthouse to your lost ship. You ran to him like your life depended on it, and he caught you in a big embrace.

“I...I wasn’t paying attention, and I...I just-”

“It’s okay, love. I found you. I got you,” Fred whispered as he rubbed comforting circles on your back. Your hearts were both beating fast and you were both out of your breath. You were still trembling, but Fred could feel the fear fading. Instead, a foreign yet familiar feeling of security and affection was spreading through his body. Fred smiled softly as he hugged you tighter, “I found you.”

2001, Fred was hanging out with the boys at the pub on a Friday evening. When George was ranting about the quidditch game last night, Fred almost fell off his chair. He felt terrified as if something scary just jumped in front of him, but nothing was there. He felt his heart beating in his throat, and a more horrifying thought came to him.

It was your emotion. You were in danger.

“Sorry, gotta go!” He soon picked up his jacket and disapparated from the pub.

“It was about Y/N, isn’t it?” Lee shook his head after Fred disappeared, knowing too well what Fred’s reaction was about.

“Yep, he’s completely wrapped around Y/N’s fingers,” George chuckled, “that hasn’t changed for 10 years.”

“Baby, what’s wrong!”

You almost screamed when Fred suddenly apparated into the apartment in the middle of the night, and what you were watching on the TV didn’t help.

Seeing you comfortably curled up on the couch, with confusion written all over your face, Fred looked at the TV and everything finally made sense.

“Freddie, I was just watching a horror movie,” you laughed when you realized what this was all about too.

He let out a relieved laugh and joined you on the couch, pulling you into his arms and taking in the familiar scent of your shampoo to calm his poor nerves.

You giggled, “Did you leave the boys because you felt I was scared?”

He nodded, “Who knew you were just scaring yourself.”

“I’m safe. I promise,” you chuckled, “You can go back to the boys now if you want.”

“Nah, I don’t want to almost fall off the chair again.”

“You fell off the chair??” You laughed as the images of him being a mess popped into your mind. You were finding it both funny and absolutely adorable.

“Almost!” Fred squeezed your waist gently to protest.

You giggled and snuggled up to him, resting your head on his chest. He planted a soft kiss on your head and held you close as the movie continued to play.

Listening to his heartbeat, you felt secure and loved. You felt as if nothing else mattered when you were with him, and you knew as the familiar warm feeling coursing through your body intensified that he felt the same.

general taglist: @valwritesx @protect-remus @violettaweasley @elayneblack @pineapplesandpinas @m1rkw00dpr1ncess @heiressofravka @itstatigallegos @missmulti @bolaurel @teenagesublimefan @leave-me-alone-and-go-away @gcdric @the-romanian-is-bae @vogueweasley @coolepowersthings @zaphdekota @glimmering-darling-dolly @dogweedanddeathcaps @gloryekaterina @reenfluffmarshmallow @wand3ringr0s3 @heavenlymidnight @hunnybunimdun @izzyyy-1 @magicalxdaydream @starlightweasley @shadowsinger11 @idont-knowrn @thisismynerdyself @theweasleysredhair @harrysweasleys @levylovegood @cinammonjae @mrbillymontgomery @slytherinsunrise @rosemusic18 @sarcasticallywitty15 @ac127 @1127203457 @inglourious-imagines @bellaiscool (message me if you want to be added or removed!)

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mimibtsghost7 · 4 years

Note

Fuck you and all your little brain washed rats sending people hate because you cant take responsibility for your actions!! But go on stay silent like you always do, pretend its nothing of your business, keep being a fetishizing racist delulu like you love to be while pretending to be the best blog on tumblr!!!

NOT like anyone will see this but YOU will so LET’S GOOO!!!~~

TW: mental health and more (if you feel like this can trigger you, pls don’t read this, breathe in and out and listen to this HERE and remember I love you), loads of tea and Mimi NOT being a friendly and kind ghost.

funny enough:

I never pretended of said I was the best blog. But I guess the fact that you say it might be because you heard it frequently? Thanks for thinking so^^

I sent hate to no one and u r the one sending it to me rn ^^ In my whole 4 year journey on Tumblr I received a lot of love but also worse hate that you can imagine. Yes you are saying now you are receiving hate ... funny how it’s bad when It’s addressed to you but when it’s at me and my dear followers it is not. Still, I never told anyone to go hate on you. You were the idiot that tagged my old blog and as soon as my blog was gone pple searched me and found out you were the reason behind this. But as you keep hating on me. Let me tell you I am kind but don’t mistake that for me being a coward.

I am not into insulting others and I don’t care much if you insult me. BUT don’t YOU DARE touch my dear followers. Insulting ain’t hard. Let me try: The only rat here is you hiding in your hole as an anon. I went and compared your writing with this ask and previous hate asks. And it was you~ Good for you~ the sewers smell just like your filthy mouth spilling sh*t left and right. So on brand. However, I know who you are @hobisbeautifulass Hi ^^

Me racist? HAHAHAHAH you truly know NOTHING about me nor my ex-blog’s message. It was a place when you were welcomed no matter your skin color, religion, gender ... proof? well it got deleted thanks to you. but ask around this time and search for who reblogged my posts as they were always the top of the tags (even if I don’t trust how bad you are at research). I supported the BLM movement and still do and will always do but I did so veeery early without anyone telling me. Not for the notes but because of my humanity. I wished my dear followers’ happy holidays no matter their religions. And never cared about those things. Why judge someone on something based on religion or how they were born. As for the LGBTQ+ community, I was always and will always be there for love being love. I talked about mental health and opened venting nights. I helped left and right and when I was receiving hate because of people like you spitting lies about me. What did I do? Did I go online and called people bad? No. I looked back at myself and asked myself if I did anything wrong. I tried to educate myself and apologized sincerely when I had to. I read books and watched documentaries to learn how to become a better human. AND never repeated a mistake twice. You tend to forget that our cultures are different and sometimes you grow up to see some things as normal when they are not. This is not an excuse tho, so I always believed that I was lacking and if someone had something to say against me, there is a chance they are right and just in case I should reflect on myself. But for your case it was pure nonsense. ME? a stalker? how can I stalk when I have social anxiety and at that time couldn’t even leave my room? I am even afraid of taking public transportations and just the other days I was crying from joy when I took a taxi alone. they said I was in Japan stalking Jimin and Jungkook and took a pic when I was NEVER EVER was on that land. You put me on the same list as people who bought info about BTS’ flights to be on the same plane as them? I was stalked before and let me tell you it ain’t cute and fun. I am even scared of the idea of being followed. that’s why I never shared openly my age, country, or anything about me on my blog. that’s why I have no personal social media to this day and that’s why making my ex-blog was some sort of miracle in my life.

Silent? yes I was silent when I received hate and didn’t even vent to my dear followers or pointed fingers. Why? because I thought as my day was hell I shouldn’t make anyone’s day worse. I was worried about my dear followers with mental illnesses being triggered. I tried to take my life so many times I lost count but I still came here and smiled. It was my safe place and you took it away. Yet, I should pity you? You hated on me first for no reason and you know it deep inside but right now you are trying to convince yourself that you are the angel and feel no guilt. Compared to you. I pointed fingers at no one and didn’t name you when my blog was gone. Why? because compared to you, I thought you will not be able to manage the hate and what was done .. I didn’t want you to suffer the same way I did when you are the one who made me suffer the most the past couple of days. But the kind Mimi is someone you will never remember because you dared touch the friends I love and calling them names. I don’t mind people insulting me but don’t you dare touch my people. I know myself best. My dear friends/followers know me best. I thought ... I could leave without this mess but you keep barking in my ask box and it’s annoying. I left this backup account just to talk to my friends and yet you are here to ruin things again? I should stop being kind to the ones who deserve non of it. I ignored you when I had so many followers and you went silent too because you were scared of me. But as soon as I lost my blog because of you, you went, edited and then reblogged that stalker post. How can I be a stalker? do you even know the definition of a stalker? do you even know shame? well .. I don’t think so.. you said it yourself. You are NOT ashamed (and you reblogged that so many time lol).

Death threats? this is no competition but thanks to people like you I have been there and wish no one to be there not even you. The only difference is that you almost killed me for real. You were not the sole reason? Great job walking away from you beloved word: RESPONSIBILITY. And I didn’t get just anon hate, I got literal tagging by people like you, DMs, and people pointing guns at me. That’s why I didn’t mention you. I was worried about the one who took away what I worked for for 4 YEARS. I was more sad and concerned about the ARMY fandom here. Do you know how many rely on my updates? do you know how many people said I helped them? do you know any of that? do you think 200k people were “rats”? Do you think if I did and say wrong thing I will not be questioned by those people. I always told my dear followers: “friends, if I do or say anything wrong or share anything that hurts anyone please tell me. I am willing to learn from everyone.” But what did you know? what did you do? Well .. guess you love notes? As the most notes you ever got and the most attention was when talking about me?

Love how you talk about fetishing when my blog was what people call “family friendly”. I also like BTS. I love them for their music, talent, personalities and the happiness they give me. I also enjoy BTS’ bond and love their interactions. I posted content of all kinds of interactions JM X JK, JK X V, V X JIN, JIN X SG, SG X JH, JH X RM, RM X JM ... If you are calling this fetishing asian men just because I scream over BTS as a fan and love their bonb. Then aren’t you against the idea of being an ARMY? I was a clear OT7 and you were told that you weren’t right:

Then you answered this without even explaining the nonsense about me:

idk .. I am trying to find sense in your nonsense so .. wait wait let me look at the definition of fetishism first.

Fetishism /ˈfɛtɪʃɪz(ə)m/ noun: a form of sexual behavior in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, activity, part of the body, etc.

Then .. judging from your URL alone hmmm ... cute. I won’t even talk about the SMUT you write that is full of kinks and fetishism. Well I have no problem with fan fiction but the irony you spit is out of this world.

Also, I made money out of mimibtsghost? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH no lil one. I worked day and night for FREE. At some point when BT21 just came out and there were no products on AMAZON or anywhere but S.Korea, someone reached out to me to offer 20% off or something for my dear followers. When they asked what I wanted I said what about international giveaways for my dear followers. Basically, made gifs, found content, updates, analysis, edits, and so on for free. Again, w-wait .. Aren’t you the one asking for commissions? Well .. It’s not wrong. But again THE irony.

So, I went to see that post you made about me with “PROOF” and it was just another person who was salty as I got them blocked I can’t even recall who they were but oh well. Their arguments according to YOU and many should be taken as FACTS just because they said them? You said HERE that your first comeback was MOST:7 that came in just last year (2020) SO what the hell do YOU know about what happened years before you came when all the proof you pointed at where baseless without any backing?

Let’s see this so wise person you used to delete my blog and what I have done ^^

The gifs: There is a story to this. The first week I came to Tumblr, It was my first time on this site and the first time I share anything. I shared some content and my analysis had a lot of notes for a small creator that started just a week ago. But I made a mistake, I found a gif and posted it while crediting the gif maker. At the time I had NO idea it was wrong. I logged off and after 5 hours I log in and there was a WAR for that ONE gif. The big blog had me blocked and her friend was telling me to take it off. As soon as the person told me I did IMMEDIATELY and apologized againa and again and told them to tell the original gif maker to deblock me as I want to apologize directly and that they can block me after that. They did and I apologized but they just kept insulting me. Of course it was MY mistake and that’s why I apologized. But for them. for a mere gif (yes I say a mere gif because I made so many gifs and they were used on all platforms but I never thought it was necessary to hate that much on someone like they did to me). That blog was big and had big blog mutuals. Thanks to that, I became someone you do NOT become mutuals with but block and never reblog content from. Without any big mutuals. Without any shoutouts. Only my love for BTS, my dear followers’ support and my hard work.. My blog, became bigger and FAST (I got 10k in less than 6 months after I started) and that brought loads of jealousy and thus more rumors. Even if, I apologized and since then made my own gifs. And I made SO many gifsets that I can’t remember how many there were. What I can recall is at some point I made them daily and many times a day.

Ships Jikook? I posted content of ALL the members interactions. I was here at a time where Jikook stans and Taekook stans where always fighting. BUT I posted about both and even made so many posts to encourage loving all the members and all the interactions. I also used the tags solely used for shipping with other big tags to show that BTS’ interactions are all important and their bond is beutiful. That our fandom shouldn’t hate on a member just because they are not part of a ship we like. And wait .. even if I shipped Jikook? I got called ALL those names by someone who ship the members with readers and write sexual scenes? Like, wait ... I am truly confused. Like, write fanfic and do all you want as long as you hurt no one I guess but why am I getting hurt for doing non of it? Like according to you, the person you should be cancelling is yourself?! I am also not into cancel culture like you so hahah whatever.

Posted stalker pics: well wow the story changes each time. Next thing you will hear that I was the one holding a camera for a member in a Vlive lol. Let me teach you about this update thing I was doing. I follow accounts I trust and that’s how we get info circulating fast. I always do reasearch but sometimes mistakes are made. For example when lately people shared pictures of BTS leaving their virtual concerts and schedules. There was a watermark of a news outlet. Normally we trust those but only later we realized that those people stalked BTS. You clearly can’t know it all. But I still didn’t share many pics related to many events (I will not name those as pple can search them even now because some pple never deleted those). And all big accounts shared many pics then deleted later. This happens all the time but it happened like ONCE for me. However, I am called a stalker for that?

When Jonghyun passed away ... I don’t even wanna recall that night as the memories just ... when that happened I posted about it and send my condolescences. that post had over 10k notes and was at the top the tag. Why did I do that? I was devastated. Yes, many were but I will talk about me rn: I was suicidal the days before that and one of the songs that I listened to when I was broken where by him. I has been in the kpop world since 2006. And learned about his group since their debut with ‘Replay’. I was never a stan but I still knew of many groups and listened to all the songs I liked. I was very sad when he was gone and ANGRY mostly. Why is this angel leaving? Why is someone like me still here? Why did I not leave instead of him? How much did he suffer? And in the midst I posted a post from twitter that stated how agencies usually put down pple with mental illiness and hide it in the industry. Yes, that was important but NOT at that time. I shouldn’t have posted that and I realized after 5 min of doing so that it was WRONG. So I deleted it FAST but it kept being reblogged and I kept getting hate and people telling me: “Go kill yourself”... the sad part is that I almost did as my answer was “true ... why am I still here?” I apologized and logged off then to this day won’t forget crying at 3 AM while walking outside next to my dad. I was outside as I couldn’t breathe anymore and the idea of seeing the walls of my room was hell. I cried and cried and the teary eyes that my father looked at me with are something I am ashamed of to this day. To add one more thing while I am spilling the beans. I hate learning about someone dying. My grandma passed away sometime before that and it was so shocking to me. and some people came and told me when I was mourning her: Go follow that bitch of grandmother of yours. And for what? At that moment I didn’t think I would live to see the next year but I went to therapy and took medecine that was hurting and made me shake all day just to turn somewhat sane. No one knew tho ... I smiled all day and cried all night.. Even on the blog I fought no one of the ones who hated me. I just blocked them but even that was an insult to them?

Again, you said no one should defend me. Yet, you were ready to fight whoever touched anyone around you. What about changing your URL to beautifulassirony

Also THE hypocrisy. If you are sorry then why are you answering an ask of someone isulting someone you want to apologize to? Just make a post wher you apologize or ignore it from the start?

One more thing but surely not the last. You said you were good with research which you are NOT. So, let me show you what an OG detective ARMY can do. But first, as I was scrolling I saw some of your “work” (let’s not even talk about those gifs) and I am just giving my point of view here: I hate how you painted Namjoon as this horny-idiotic-make-dog. Like I get it it’s a fanfic or Namjoon as a dad but ... Namjoon is such a smart man who is very respectful and ofc he is a human with needs like many but what the hell is this way of portraying a character? Also a character is not cool, amazing, and a strong woman just because they curse and belittle their partner.

Oh well, only you kept reblogging that as it show 36 reblogs when only 33 as still there when I looked and out of those 13 reblogs are yours? (you might have reblogged it more) but again some people might have liked ... people have different taste ... so ... whatever.

Let’s continue, shall we ^^. You said you were the victim here when I was the one getting robbed right? How can I believe someone who reblogged the post below and was proud calling themselves an abomination or how the Oxford dictionary defines it: a thing that causes disgust or loathing. For once you weren’t wrong.

What can you expect from someone who has the “I am not like others” kinda mentality while stating relatable things that everyone goes through?

This is getting pretty long. So to sum this up. You are now telling others that hate is NOt ok and that they should be ashamed of themselves when you yourself is not ashamed of hating on me?

I am not the type that sends anon hate. I might ignore some barking but the past days you came and bite me hard. I face the ones I have to face without fear. I know I am not the bad guy here and I don’t care much what you think about me. Even BTS got haters. This says a lot. BUT do NOT dare talk badely of my dear friends/followers. You said you do research well? Start by deleting the post below that was originally by ME from your blog ... oh how meticulous you are. From your baseless receipts to your twisted logic. Indeed people on the internet can say anything and it will be FACTS. You painted me as the devil and painted yourself as this researcher? What’s next you receiving a Phd in ‘pity me’ after your MBA in lies and irony? Whatever~

Whaaatever~ Karma will have upcoming talks with you. No need for you to apologize. I never cared about you and you only got attention using me. But I am not here anymore how will you get that blog running now? Are you gonna add me in a fanfic next? No need for you to send me my appearance fee when you do so~ And no need for you to apologize to me just apologize to you conscience if you have any left. As for me @hobisbeautifulass you are just someone I will forget soon anyway~~

And because according to what you said HERE when you described the things you hate about people and I thought that was VERY close to how you treated me. Thus, you might really not stand yourself rn.

Do.Not.Worry. BTS are starting the Love Myself campaign again and just in time for you to jump in (you are good at jumping to conclusions about me so I won’t worry about you). I know you don’t like me or my friends but be sure to love yourself at least ^^

You are a Hobi stan? Then learn from Hobi to share some sunshine not bring the storm. Have a good day~

#Anonymous #hobisbeautifulass #don't mind the typos as I wrote this in one go #just because I am someone who do not punch back when someone hit me do not mean I will stand nicely when you touch my people #anyway~ bye~#mimibtsghost

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suchalonelysunflower · 3 years

Text

Running Through My Dreams - A duet (l.h)

Pairing: Luke Hemmings x Fem! Reader

Summary: based on Remembering Sunday by All Time Low. A conversation with flashes of the past

Warnings: Angst. Language. Mentions of death (non graphic) Mentions of Alcohol. Some grammatical errors (English is not my first language and I did not proof read this, I’m sorry)

Word count: 2k

Author’s Note: Just experimenting with sad topics and a new form of writing. Hope everyone can understand bc formatting this was a nightmare. Remember that Reblogs, Feedback, Comments and Likes are very important! You have no idea how much they help 💕 Hope you like it and Happy Reading 🦋🌻✨

My Materialist // wanna be part of my taglist?

How to read: Bold: Luke; Italics: Reader. Together

This might work better on mobile.

I woke up alone again in the middle of the night, it’s the third time this week.

I’ve been leaving the bed early

hoping you’ll get used to it.

I stay long enough, always leaving

after 2AM

The pillow doesn’t smell like her anymore. It hasn’t for a long time. She thinks I don’t notice

I knew you would.

But everyday I feel her pull farther away from me.

It wasn’t always like this

But I knew it would come to

this.

Still,

I needed to move on

What time is it? It can‘t be too late, it’s only past 2 AM and my head is killing me. What did I do?

The bottle near the bed should

serve as an answer

Fuck.

Where is she?

Sunday seemed so far away, but it’s only been a couple of days. You’ve been staying at his place, claiming that your apartment needed some fixing that the landlord promised to do, but that you needed to go back every morning just to make sure everything was in place.

You just never told him how early you’d be there. Making him wake up to an empty bed.

You woke up with the smell of bacon, cursing at yourself for letting sleep take over you last night. You didn’t mean to stay but what’s done is done.

Luke was standing in the kitchen, chest bare as he cooked the eggs the way you liked them.

You always knew me more

than I knew myself

“Good morning, love” He said when he saw you standing, almost hiding behind the door to the kitchen.

He smiled, and god you wished you could hate it.

“Morning,” You mumbled, clearly not in a good mood. Morning always did that to you. But Luke didn’t mind, he still smiled and placed a kiss on your cheek as you took a seat on one of the chairs.

“Do you need to go today?” He asked, placing your breakfast in front of you.

I always hated when she had to leave

You would’ve hated me more

if I stayed, even if I wanted to

Maybe it was the look in his eyes that made you weak. Those baby blues haunted you from the very start and you found yourself unable to say no to them. That’s why it was easier to leave when he slept.

“I can stay if you want”

She could’ve stayed forever.

He smiled bigger than before, pulling your chair closer to him as he kissed you softly. You melted against him as the sirens in your head went off. You couldn’t let this happen.

I could’ve told her that I loved her, I knew I did.

Do you even know what love is?

She never believed in it. She was afraid to get close, but I knew she felt it, too. How could she not?

There was something there.

Something I didn’t know was

possible

Something I felt all along.

But it’s late, or early and she hasn’t responded. Maybe

I got it all wrong

She must be there, somewhere. She might be alone. And I’m here.

You are where I want you to be

Where did she go? The girl I fell in love?

You laugh bounced through the walls as he chased you down.

“Luke!” You half cried, half laughed “Stop!”

But he only got closer, tickling your sides every time he could catch you on a corner.

It was just a game, just a moment for the two of you where you could just be yourselves. You didn’t get much of that before.

Luke smiled at the sound of your giggles, feeling as if the melody of them could very much be the soundtrack of his own happiness. He felt a bolt of electricity with every light touch, gracing his fingers carefully upon your skin to make sure he’s not hurting you. The last thing he wanted was to hurt you.

But did I ever? Maybe without knowing.

Your skin was on fire wherever he touched, leaving a scorching trail as his movements slowed down. The tickles now became caresses as you let your body rest against a wall, sighing softly when you felt his fingers trail up your sides.

The goosebumps started to appear the moment you felt his breath near your lips. His head hung low, letting his forehead rest against yours as you looked into his eyes.

He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. You knew by just a look where this was going and you’d be a liar if you said you didn’t want to let it happen.

Your hands flew to the back of his head as you pulled him into you, letting your lips capture his in a needed kiss.

You parted your lips when you felt his grip tighten on your waist, letting him deepen the kiss as he deem fit and making his tongue tangle with yours as he swallowed your moans into his mouth.

His body was against yours, pressing it to the wall and making you feel all of him as he covered your body completely. Never once letting your lips go until you gasped for air.

The look in both your eyes was clear as lust consumed your bodies. You pulled on his hand, smiling as you led him into the bedroom.

It was beautiful at the start

At the start we didn’t know

I should go to her, tell her I love her and that I’m sorry for anything I might’ve done.

You always took the blame

where there wasn’t one.

With the memories still playing inside his head, Luke got up from his place on the bed, instantly falling to the floor with his knees scraping against the carpet.

He didn’t know why his legs failed him when he tried to reach you, understanding that you were far away from where you were supposed to be.

She should be here. I need her here.

Luke got dressed as soon as he could. He knew he was too intoxicated to drive, he didn’t want to put anyone in danger; so he decided to walk.

He took his phone with him, smiling slightly when he noticed a missed call from you.

Why aren’t you picking up? Don’t you want to see me?

You were the only one who

could see me

I’m coming. I’ll find you. I know it’s not

It is

Too late

Your apartment building was just a few miles away, but Luke’s thoughts ran faster than he could. In his head he knew what to say once he saw you, once he made sure you were okay.

He had to tell you that he loved you, that he wouldn’t run away. He will give you all the time you need but, please.

Come back to me

The buttons all seemed the same to him, the names on the tags were too faded to even try and read them. But he knew your place by heart.

The second button to the left, just under the one who got a spot of red paint on it. It was the only apartment you could afford when you moved, but you loved it nonetheless.

He called, and called, and called, and called.

But the more he pressed the button, the more hopeless he felt.

Are you there? Can you hear me? I’m here. I’m here and I’m not leaving, not unless you want me to.

I don’t want to, but you will

Desperate, he starts pressing the buttons of your neighbors, hoping maybe one of them would let him in.

“I will call the police” Your upstairs neighbor said.

“Please,” Luke begged “I just need to speak with Y/N”

“Who?”

The man hung up. Luke tried another button.

“Anne?” A lady spoke.

Luke sighed “No, but I need to get into the building. My girlfriend needs me and it’s starting to rain, could you let me in, please?”

“Oh, sure, honey” The sweet lady said, opening the door for him.

Luke thanked the careless woman as he entered the building just before the few droplets of water fell upon his jacket.

He got up the stairs, skipping two steps as he tried to reach you as soon as possible. To hell with his dizzy head just as long as you were safe.

“Y/N?” He called, banging on your door loud enough to wake you up, but not too loud to disturb your neighbors.

I know you’re there

I know you’re here

“Y/N! Please let me in!”

He kept on banging, each one louder than the last one. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest as his concern grew with every second you were not answering the door.

It’s been days since he’s seen you. Days since you left after Sunday. Days since he’s been sober because you ignored him after telling him it was over, without any explanation as to why.

I’m not going to

Give up

I’m not going to answer

I have to tell her that I love her.

I wish I could tell you why

She’s my dream

A nightmare, perhaps

I don’t want to

You have to

Wake up

“Is there anything I can help you with?” A couple dressed in robes stood outside their door.

Luke stared at your neighbors for a while before he could respond. He dried the tears off his face before saying.

“My girlfriend, she hasn’t been answering her phone-“ He didn’t care that his voice sounded broken when his whole spirit was shattered “I- I mean, I just want to make sure that she’s okay because I need to talk to her. Have you seen her?”

The couple looked at each other, the man sighed.

“Are you sure you got the right door, son?” He asked.

Luke furrowed his brows, checking the number placed at the door one more before nodding.

“Oh, dear” The woman said emphatically “The lady that lived there moved”

“What?”

“She's been moving her stuff for days now, but I think tonight she made the big move and took off. She even left us the key for the landlord when he came” The woman signaled her husband and he disappeared into their home for a few seconds before appearing again with the key in hands “I’m so sorry, darling”

Luke shook his head. This was not possible, you couldn’t be….

Gone

“Do you want to check for yourself?” The man asked, handing Luke the key to your apartment.

He thanked the couple and apologized for the disturbance.

This can’t be true.

But what if it is?

She would’ve told me

I never told you how I felt

And now it’s

It can't be

Too late

Luke opened the door to your apartment, holding back a breath as he realized it was completely bare.

All your stuff were not there anymore. Not a picture or furniture that could prove your existence, not even a ghost that could testify that someone lived there once. A someone that he had loved.

He walked to the middle of your small living room, letting his eyes scan for anything that you might’ve left behind. Something that he could hold on to so he knows you’ll be back, or at least something that could tell him where you went.

The rain fell against the bare window, letting the shadows of the droplets racing through the glass plaster against the wooden floor, mirroring Luke’s tears as he realized that

I’m not coming back

Not like you expect me to

Why did she leave?

I thought it was for the best

But I regretted it the

moment I stepped into the

car

She could’ve come to me

I was coming back to you

I called and you didn’t

answer. So I tried again.

I swear i didn’t see that truck

coming my way.

Y/N

It all happened so fast

Y/N….

I’m not coming back

No….

I was terrified. But then

I was

I want to be

With you

Luke

I can’t understand

I did something so terrible

Could you…

Forgive me

I tried to find home when

home is where you are.

Now I’m in the clouds

I just need to know that you’re

I’m

Okay

I’ll be with you

But you won’t see me

I wished I could tell you how much I loved you

You already did

“Luke?”

The blonde man jumped at the sound of Ashton’s voice. He was standing in the middle of the field, letting the rain tower over him as he woke up from his nightmare.

It’s been three days since he stood in your apartment. Three days since he got the call from the hospital. Three days of unstoppable rain and grey clouds that seemed to be following him since the day he lost you.

Now, he stood in a black suit, letting his eyes wander over the carved letters of your name once again.

“Are you okay? Is there something you want to do? Something we can do?”

He stood still.

“I really thought I would marry her”

His band mates stood right by his side this whole time, never letting him out of sight. Letting their hearts break with him.

Calum placed a hand on his shoulder.

“She loved you, Luke. She would’ve want you to keep going”

Luke smiled sadly, “I always loved her more”

After a few minutes, Luke asked them to leave him alone with you to say goodbye.

He kneeled in front of the marble that laid on the ground, completely damped from all the rain, and smiled softly.

“I might never understand why you did it, why you ran, why they took you away from me far too soon when your car was headed back here… But, I know you were scared and I don’t blame you for that, you were always braver than me, even when you were afraid. You’ll have a lot to explain when we meet again, love, and I promise I won’t let you go when that happens. But until then, I’ll see you Sunday”

I’ll be here.

I love you

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @hoodhoran @flaneurcth @matchacal @bubblegum18 @irwin-fletcher-ash @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @1980holland @wiiildflowerrr @hoplessromantic727 @fivesecondsofonedirection @another-lonely-heart @aabc5sauce @dudethisiswhyyoudonthavefriends @major5sosstan @myloverboyash @nicebasscalum @calumspupils @secretsicanthideanymore @the-ghost-of-ash @alltimesos @girlwhosimps @wontlastimokwiththat @ttinahood @kingxnichole @givebuckyhisplumsnow @hufflehemm @wildflower98

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waiting4inspiration · 3 years

Text

Obey X: Mission to Destroy

Summary: Bucky apologizes for what he had done on the last mission but you say that you're not mad at him. You mention that even though you have files on yourself, you don't know if you have the heart to see what's in it.

Warnings: angst, small fluff, strong language, mentions of triggering, nothing much because it's a really short part but if I missed something, please let me know

Word Count: 1,707

Obey Masterlist II Marvel Masterlist

Going through everything in your mind to find something specific is like meditating. You need quiet so you can block out everything around to focus one thing as you sit with your legs crossed under you and your hands resting on your knees. It’s always been the most comfortable position for you when you look for something with the database in your mind.

Sometimes, it’s a file on someone, a target you’re looking for, and someone you need information for. This time, you’re looking for something that has to do with the Server Hansen spoke about. You’ve never heard of it, but that might be because no one in HYDRA has ever talked about it around you. Probably because they didn’t want you to find out about it should you plan to do what you want to do now; disconnect the chip in your brain.

You didn’t even know there was a chip. You just thought that everything you know, that the files HYDRA uploaded into your mind was just something similar to a memory and that the port in the back of your head was a way to add or alter them.

The chip is probably how they’re able to control you. It’s probably the thing that makes you obey HYDRA whenever your programming is triggered. Hell, it’s probably the thing that has all your programming on it and when Tony tried to delete it, the chip still linked to the HYDRA Server wouldn’t allow that to happen.

Realizing that you’re losing track of your thoughts and no longer concentrating on looking for information on the Server, you breathe out a long sigh and drop your head between your shoulders. You open your eyes, run your hands through your hair, and lift your head back up.

Bucky’s sitting in front of you, his body perking up when you look at him and he shifts on his seat to lean forward. “We need to talk.” He whispers because it feels like he’ll break this peaceful atmosphere you’ve created with the lights off and the dead quiet room.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Bucky,” you reply, pushing yourself off the ground and making him shoot up to his feet to stop you from leaving.

You don’t seem to be angry about what happened, which confuses Bucky because he thought that you would be. But you do seem to be upset. He can tell from the way you refuse to look at him again after you turned your head away from him. “(Y/n),” he softly calls to you, stepping forward and dipping his head so that he can catch your gaze again. “Please look at me.”

You shake your head, a silent sob leaving your lips as tears start to build up in your eyes. “You promised,” you whisper, slowly lifting your head up to look at him. “You promised you wouldn’t trigger my programming,” you say.

“I know,” he sighs, stepping forward only for you to take a step back. “But I also promised that I would protect you and the only way I could do that-”

“Was by triggering me. I know,” you sigh, your shoulders relaxing as you breathe out a sigh. “I’m not angry that you did. I just…” You trail off, shake your head, and wrap your arms around yourself. “I just wish there could have been a way for you to warn me before you did. I never realized how much I hate being triggered until now,” you mention, turning away from Bucky to walk a little bit away from him.

Bucky walks towards you, his footsteps making your head turn over your shoulder to look at him and seeing the soft look on his face makes you turn to face him again. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, cupping your face in his hands as he leans forward to press his forehead to yours. “I know I broke a promise. Believe me, I didn’t want to do that,” he says, and you nod your head gently against his hands. “I know you’re not angry. But you have every right to be. And I swear, I will do anything to make this up to you.”

You step forward, rest your hands on his chest and lean into his touch as he gently caresses the top of your cheek. “I just want all this to end. I don’t want HYDRA getting in the way of everything and ruining everything,” you softly say, nuzzling your face against his as he drops his hands away from your face. “And I know I can’t do this alone,” you add, wrapping your arms around his neck and his hands come to rest on your hips.

“I’ll be there. Right by your side, every step of the way” he says, making a smile grow on your face. “And I promise, with all my heart, I won’t trigger your programming again.”

That makes you shake your head. “Don’t make that promise. We both know you might have to break it again,” you say, and he chuckles. “I need to carry on looking for information on this Serve,” you whisper, pulling away from Bucky and stepping backward.

He grabs your hand before you get out of his reach and stops you from walking back to the spot where you were sitting. “You need to rest,” he says, pulling you with him as he starts to head out of the room. You give him an unapproving whine and gently try to pull your hand out of his hold. “No matter what HYDRA says, you’re not a machine, (Y/n),” he jokes, looking over his shoulder back at you while he continues to pull you towards the door.

“I think like one,” you mutter, finally pulling your hand out of him as you come to his side and start walking with him down the corridor. Out the corner of your eye, you see him smirking and you can’t stop yourself from asking the question that suddenly comes to mind. “Have you ever thought about what might have happened if HYDRA never got their hands on you?”

Just as you had expected, his smile drops and you see a somber look fill his eyes. He doesn’t look down at you, keeps his gaze in front of him as he swallows roughly and curls his hand into a fist, making the mechanical parts whirr. “Sometimes,” he mutters, his eyes dropping down to his feet. “I probably would have gone down in that plane with Steve, spent 60 years on ice with him. And I’d follow him through all the trouble he got into. And I would still have ended up here, just in better condition,” he explains, turning his head down to his mechanical arm that he raises slightly in front of him. “That probably means you wouldn’t be here.”

You shrug your shoulders as you turn your head away from looking at him and bite your lower lip. “I don’t know,” you say, more to yourself as you come to a halt in the middle of the corridor.

Bucky turns around after having taken a few steps forward, not expecting you to stop walking. He sees you staring blankly at the ground, as if you’re trying to think of something. “What do you mean you don’t know?” he asks carefully and you give him a knowing look. “What about your life before HYDRA?”

“I…” You trail off, shake your head to yourself as you look out the window beside you. “I don’t remember anything before HYDRA. For all I know-” you look back at Bucky- “I grew up in HYDRA. What if I’m just someone they pulled off the streets and my life before they did was shitty? What if I already was a HYDRA agent? Or the kid of a HYDRA agent? I don’t know if I want to know what my life was like before HYDRA,” you ramble, looking at Bucky with a small frown on your face.

He steps forward, a gentle look on his face as if to tell you that it’s all going to be okay. “Don’t you have files on yourself?” he questions, hoping that it will ease you a bit if you look through them to find out what your life was like before all this happened to you.

“I do. I’m just scared to look at them.”

“Why?” he asks, now standing in front of you yet again. Only, this time he’s afraid to reach out to touch you as a means to comfort you because he’s scared you might cry. He’s seen you close to crying a few times, but never has he seen a tear roll down your cheek because you were sad. In pain, yes. But he’s never seen you crying out of sadness.

You take a breath, close your eyes and drop your head between your shoulders. “Because I’m scared that if I look and see what my life was like, and I see that it was terrible, I’d feel that HYDRA did me a favor,” you explain. Your file pops into your mind’s eye but like always, you don’t look into it. You don’t want to see the memories that have been taken away from you. “Even if it was good-” You laugh, shaking your head as you look up at Bucky again- “it would just be something else that they’ve taken from me.”

Bucky understands. Because even if HYDRA never got their hands on him and he ended up not following Steve into decades of hibernation, he likes to think that maybe he would have settled down, found a girl and got married to her, had a family, that kind of domestic life. But again, it was something that HYDRA took from him.

“Still, you could have some good memories,” he softly mentions, catching your interest and making your head tilt to the side. “Sometimes, they’re good for helping you get through tough times.”

A smirk tugs at the corner of your mouth and you shift on your feet. “Does it help you?”

He chuckles, smiling down at you as he joins you by your side again. “Most of the time,” he simply mentions before urging you to start walking again.

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#bucky #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes #bucky fic #bucky fanfic #bucky x female reader #the winter soldier #the winter soldier x reader #the winter soldier imagine #marvel #obey

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ficsxreaderr · 4 years

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Music to my eyes [7]

OKAY I AM BACK, NOT THAT ANYONE MISSED ME BUT HERE IT IS. LOVE Y'ALL

Pairing: Single dad!Bucky Barnes x reader. (Modern day AU)

Summary: As a simple worker at a record store, there’s so much you want to do in life yet, which doesn’t involve a serious relationship and much less a relationship with a guy who’s a father. Once you meet Bucky Barnes you’re not sure you can live up to that anymore.

Requests are open. Tagging for a permanent list and this fic are open.

Reblogging and feedback are welcome and appreciated!

Series masterlist | Masterlist

“Sam, you better come here and help me get ready.” You tell him on the phone as you prepare your first cup of coffee of the day, on Steve’s wedding day.

“But I’m one of the groomsmen, we got to be there early because you’re my plus one.”

“I’m a punctual woman, I thought you knew that. Come on, you got to help me with my hair and tell me how the dress looks.”

“Alright, but I’ll be rushing you, you have to know that.”

“I’d be surprised if you didn’t.”

Right after you’ve taken a shower, you hear a knock on your door, knowing it’s Sam. Putting on your bathrobe and a towel to dry your hair, you walk out of the bathroom and get the door.

“Please tell me you’re not going dressed like that.” Sam says the second you open. You roll your eyes at him and step aside to let him in.

“Can I get you anything? Did you have lunch already?” You ask as you walk into the kitchen and pour each of you a glass of lemonade.

“Yeah, I ate something on my way here, figured you wouldn’t want to eat while doing your makeup.” He says, stepping into the kitchen after he’s put his tux on the hanger.

“Good choice.” You nod as both of you take a sip of lemonade. Both of you make your way to your room, where you’ve set everything you need to get ready.

“Wow, women really are complicated, huh?” He says as he stops to look around. “Where do you even start?”

“I’ll start with my makeup and you start with my hair.” You shrug as you sit on your stool and take off the towel from your head. He walks in and chuckles, and he takes the hair dryer to plug it in.

“Y/N, are we going to talk about…well, you know what.” He asks as you start ordering your things and decide not to look at him, knowing you’re still trying to avoid the subject.

“I don’t know, Sam, I…I feel like an idiot. Dry my hair and I’ll think about it meanwhile.” He shakes his head and does as you say.

Once your hair is dry and you’ve started with your makeup, he waits for the hair straightener to heat as he sits on the edge on the bed.

“Can we talk about it now?” He says, more amused that serious.

“Sam!” You scream, turning around in your stool. “What is there to talk about? I…messed up.” You go back to your makeup and he stands behind you, grabbing the straightener to see if it’s heated. “What has he said? No, wait, don’t tell me, I don’t want to know.”

“He misses you, he wishes he’d never try to kiss you if he’d known it just drive you away.” He says as he starts straightening your hair.

“But that’s not why I left, Sam, not exactly. I wanted to walk away even before that…”

“But it was really bad timing, you know, I’m sorry to say it…”

“No, you’re right, I looked like a jerk, but…I didn’t want to hurt him. Just wanted to do what was right…for everyone.”

“And what exactly is that? You’re not happy, he’s not happy, and Sarah certainly isn’t…”

“Yeah, I know that, too…I messed up, I told you. He’s never talking to me again and I can’t blame him.”

Sam has kindly let you use his hotel room so you can change and add the finishing touches to your makeup. At the sight of the amazing hotel Peggy and Steve have booked, you wonder how on Earth they could ever afford it, you could never. Only Sam’s room is huge, it makes you think what the bridal suite must be like. You settle your bag on the bed and your makeup on the marquee, welcoming the soft rug beneath your bare feet. Hanging the dress on a hanger by the door, you unzip its cover bag and stare at it for a moment, thinking it was an amazing choice for this night. It doesn’t matter how awful you feel for what you did, you’re still intending to fix it, but it scares you that he might not even want to hear you or that if he does, that he turns you down. And it wouldn’t even surprise you.

After you’ve made the finishing touches to your makeup, you finally put your dress on, sliding it carefully up your body. Staring at your reflection, you love how the dress hugs every curve of your body, how the thin straps leave your chest uncovered and with a gentle turn, you can see how the half of your back is uncovered, just like you wanted it to. The rosewood satin suits you just perfectly but there’s just one problem, you can’t zip this dress on your own, and you curse Sam for leaving you at the moment. You hear the door to the contiguous room open and you’re glad Sam’s finally back.

Without turning around, you speak, “Sam, finally! Would you mind—” You’re interrupted as you see Sam’s not the one standing across the room, and you clench the back of your dress in nervousness. Your heart stops beating for a moment and you let out a breath before you pass out. “Bucky, hi, I’m sorry, I—”

“Hi, Y/N, I thought Sam was here.” He clenches his hand around the doorknob, hesitant to say anything else. Bucky freezes at the sight of you for two main reasons: one, he misses you, he misses you like crazy and he didn’t know he wanted you that much in his life until the day you stopped calling and visiting; and, two, even with the zipper undone, the dress you picked for tonight is definitely Bucky’s greatest weakness. He’s not sure if you look more beautiful because he hasn’t seen you in so long or because you really know how to dress for a wedding, but he is certain that he’s never been more in love with you than right now.

“He…let me use his room to get ready.” You clear your throat. A moment goes by in complete silence, it feels like an eternity, until he decides to speak.

“I-I can help you…with your dress.” He finally lets go of the doorknob and you notice him fidgeting his fingers. Your mouth goes dry and you need to swallow to gain some composure.

“Thanks, that’d be great.” You nod and wait as he steps inside the room and slowly walks towards you. All the tension of this moment let you forget how handsome he looks in that tux, how his perfectly combed hair and not-so-elegant-but-still-attractive stubble adorn his features and how lucky whoever’s walking with him down the aisle is. Once he’s inches away from you, you turn around so he can zip up your dress. Looking down at your feet, you’re afraid to look in the mirror and meet his eyes there. He is distracted, for a moment, by your intoxicating scent and how soft and glowing your skin looks as the afternoon sunlight that slips through the drapes hits it. You let go off the fabric, and he slowly zips it, careful not to pinch your skin or ruin your dress for that matter. Turning around, you feel a bit dizzy, not sure why, but you find Bucky’s eyes staring at you, a few inches apart now, and you can’t get your brain to articulate even one word.

“How have you been?” You ask after what seemed like hours and he replies almost instantly,

“I’m okay…I mean, I’ve been great, spending a lot of time with Sarah and…everyone else.” He nods, and he really sounds like he’s been doing alright, like he hasn’t missed you like you’ve missed him. Maybe he is better off without you. “You look…amazing.” His weak heart betrays him, and he blurts it out. “H-how have you been?”

“Thanks.” You offer a small smile. “I guess I’ve been okay,” You shrug, unable to hide how you’ve not been okay. “I was really excited about this wedding, Peggy and Steve are-”

“Made for each other.” He interrupts you and you swear there’s a trace of a smile on his face.

“Exactly.” You nod and sigh before saying what’s been killing you inside, even if it will hurt if it doesn’t go as you want it to. “Bucky, I need to talk to you.”

“Of course.” He nods. “I…I think I need to say some things too.”

“I know and…” You sit on the bed and he quickly follows so you’re facing each other. “I’m really sorry for what I did, I didn’t want you to think that I walked away because you…tried to kiss me. It’s not like that.”

“Then what happened, Y/N? ‘Cause I really feel like I messed everything up and I didn’t want things to happen like that, it was all good with us.”

“Since I met you, I knew there was something about you…and when I found out you had a kid-”

“Of course, I knew it…” He stands up, running a hand through his hair, but you’re quick to grab his wrist and make him stop.

“Bucky, no, I know what you’re thinking, just let me finish.” He sits down again, and now it really hurts to see the look on his face, how saddened he seems after what you said; you never wanted to be the cause of that. “Bucky, there’s…a lot I want to do in my life, in fact, there’s barely anything I’ve actually done and…I’ve always wanted to make room for someone that came into my life so we could share everything together. But I got scared and that’s the only word I can find because I am, in fact, a coward. I’ve never thought of having a family, it’s never been in my plans or my dreams, but when I started having feelings for you I…all I wanted was to be with you and with Sarah, no matter what. But it scares me that I can’t keep up with the life you have…because it’s still not…the life I want. And I walked away because…I couldn’t control what I felt anymore, and I didn’t want you to get hurt if I stayed longer…and I also didn’t want to hurt myself.” You both stare for a moment at each other, and his expression changes, he relaxes and his eyes shine a tiny bit…but you know it’s there, the slight hope that he might not hate you and that he will forgive you for treating him so poorly.

“It was so hard to see you didn’t come back or called…or texted. I figured I messed everything up and I’d just lost you. The last thing I wanted was to look for you because I thought I could only make it worse-”

“Before you continue…let me just say that you have nothing to be sorry about, I didn’t expect anything and not because I didn’t expect it from you, it’s just that I ruined it and it was obvious that no one would want to look for me after that.”

“I just want you back in my life, Y/N, I’ve missed you and even if nothing happens between us…I miss my friend, too. And the reason I combed my hair like this is because I need a haircut, and no one understands my hair like you do.” He says as he runs a hand through his hair, chuckling. It makes you laugh, and oh, how you missed this feeling of him making dumb jokes and you hitting his arm ridiculously hard.

“So, you’re only looking for a haircut? ‘Cause I’m going to start charging you if you don’t want to be my friend.” You cross your arms and bite your lip as you amuse yourself looking at the scared look he puts on.

“No! That’s not it! I…miss everything.” He blushes as you chuckle, the one thing you could watch forever: his blushed, stubble-covered cheeks. “Sarah misses you, too, a lot.” Your heart melts when you hear those words, because as much as you were never a ‘kids’ person’, Sarah is certainly the exception, but what could you expect? She was raised by a guy like him.

“Aw, Buck.” You shake your head with a small smile. “I miss both of you, too.” He takes a deep breath and smiles broadly, making you do it too, because for so long you hadn’t seen that and it’s such a weight off your shoulders to finally talk things through.

“So…will you dance with me tonight? I was really looking forward to this, you know.” His almost apologetic frown makes you smile broadly and before you know it, you’ve taken his hand in yours and you notice how he flinches.

“I’m sure we can dance at least one song…unless your date isn’t so fond of the idea.” You suggest, hoping deep down he didn’t bring one, because you didn’t even think of bringing one yourself.

“I didn’t bring a date.” He quickly shrugs and it makes you let out a breath. “Did you?”

“If you consider Sam a date, then I did.” You reply as you chuckle, both of you knowing what a big joke that is, so you make him laugh.

“I’m going to have to borrow you from him, then.” He gives your hand a gentle squeeze and both of you smile at each other. “Thanks for talking to me.”

“Thanks for…listening, I know I probably didn’t deserve it but…”

“No, don’t say that, I know you really are sorry.”

“I am.” You nod in reassurance.

After the lovely ceremony, which you didn’t expect less from, you’ve moved to the reception where apparently Peggy picked up the most beautiful decorations and colors, and you feel like you’re inside of a magazine…a magazine you’re probably never going to buy but you’ve surely seen enough of. Sipping your drink, watching all the couples dancing and smiling at each other makes you smile, too. You glance at Sam as he’s most likely hitting on a bridesmaid, which actually doesn’t surprise you, and she seems to be having a great time, too. You shake your head as Sam glances back at you and he nods in your direction, making you frown at him. As you take another sip of your drink, you’re startled by a low voice talking behind you,

“I knew you didn’t bring a date but I didn’t think you’d be sitting down for this.” You stand up and turn to see Bucky with his hands in his pockets and with a billion-dollar smile.

“Heels are a pain, you know? I stand for five minutes and I have to sit down for fifteen.” You put your hands on your hips.

“And are those 15 over?”

“You know what, they are.” You nod with a smile.

“Good, five minutes is enough for a song.” He shrugs

“Of course I could dance barefoot, I’m a much better dancer without these things.”

“And that would give us more than five minutes.” He says as he takes a few steps until he’s closer to you, letting you drown in the blue of his eyes. Your gaze meets his and he gives you that lopsided grin you’ve fallen in love with all this time.

“A lot more, I think.” You almost murmur and he offers his hand with his palm up so you can take it. You smile at him and tangle your fingers with his.

“Aren’t you gonna take off your heels?”

“You’re too tall for me, I’ll take them off when my feet hurt.” You shrug and both of you walk to the dance floor. He wanted to fight the urge to put his arm around you, but he couldn’t, you were too close to him and he had waited for this for too long now, he wasn’t going to wait any longer. The warm feeling of his hand through your dress made you stiffen, and you looked up at him in reassurance. He smiled at you and squeezed your waist gently before leading you to start dancing. His timing was so accurate that the song is slow but fun to dance to, but then again, any song would be fun with him around. The way he easily sways with you at a rhythm that feels choreographed is unbelievable, it’s like both of you were so made for each other that even dancing seems like the easiest thing with him.

“You know your friends are gonna give you a lot of crap later, right?”

“I’d be an idiot if I didn’t know that, but I’m willing to pay that price. I’m hoping I don’t have to see them later, though.” He quirks up an eyebrow, suggestively and you smile at that, knowing exactly what he meant.

“You’re quite optimistic.” You nod and make him chuckle.

“I like to believe that.”

“I can’t believe I missed so much time with you for being so stubborn.” You shake your head and he frowns.

It’s like you just agreed to say nothing anymore and your gazes meet, as easily as they always did. This kind of heart rush you’ve only felt it a few times in your life and one of them was the day he tried to kiss you and you fucking ran away. It’s the most beautiful feeling, especially with him, because you know what’s coming and you can’t but enjoy every second you stare at each other and your faces draw closer to each other’s until your noses brush against each other’s.

“I’m really going to kiss you, you know.” He murmurs against your lips.

“I know.” You reply almost silently, until he finally presses his lips against yours and you kiss him back with an easiness that you could only feel with him. He brings your body closer to his, if that’s possible, and you slowly put your arms around his neck, clinging to him as if it could make this moment last longer. Many people are watching, but that’s not a concern for you right now because after all this time and after all those nights wondering if Bucky would ever come back to you, this is all you’ve wanted and there’s nothing that can ruin this. His hands clench around your waist and it really feels that you’re his and he’s yours finally, the kiss is long, but not long enough for your liking and he slowly pulls away, unable to erase his smile.

“Well, that’s new.” You murmur with a wide grin, making him chuckle and look down, trying to hide his blushed cheeks. “If I got paid for every time you blushed…” You add, making him look up again and stare as he bites his lip.

“It’s your fault, I can’t control that!” He says almost laughing, and you laugh too as both of you have forgotten you were dancing in the first place. Looking around you, you take Bucky’s hand in yours and lead him out of the dance floor and out of the room, hoping that not many people saw you, but then again, it doesn’t really matter to you. You get to an empty, wide hallway and find a wide couch where you sit, taking off your heels.

“Y/n, what are you doing?” He puts his fists on his hips, chuckling.

“Come here,” You tap the cushion. He chuckles again and joins you, propping his elbow on the back rest, staring at you.

“I just didn’t want everybody looking at us, we’ve been waiting for a moment like this and I don’t want it to be ruined.” You add, putting your legs beneath you, covering them with your long dress. He tilts his head to one side, smiling at you. His blue eyes glow the more you stare at them, and they speak more than anything you could possibly say right now. “You’ve always looked at me like that and I’ve known exactly what you meant.” You reach up to caress his stubble, tracing your thumb along his cheekbone.

“I can’t believe I finally have you, that’s all.” He shakes his head in disbelief. “Come here.” He says, grabbing your waist and pulling you closer to him, until your leg is propped on his lap and he caresses your thigh slow and rhythmically.

“If I fall asleep here, you’re going to have to carry me to Sam’s room, you know.” You say as you rest your head on the backrest and look up at him. He laughs and leans over to kiss you, smiling against your lips.

“I know that, sweetheart.” He nods.

Your phone buzzed and buzzed over the bedside table and as sleepy as you were, you couldn’t ignore it. Reaching for your phone, you barely check your notifications, seeing you have countless texts from Sam and a couple missed calls. You realize you’re on 20%, so you decide you’ll text him back whenever you get out of bed and get a charger. Sighing deeply, you shift on your place and stare at the ceiling for a while, thinking of everything that happened the night before and how it all still feels like a dream, like something you’d only made up in your head. With a short glance, you realize he’s still sleeping, rather soundly, and you slowly slide out of the bed, trying not to move him or make any noise. You find your dress lying on the floor, but a dress definitely isn’t a comfortable morning wear, so you put on Bucky’s t-shirt from last night and smile as the smell of his cologne hits your nostrils, still lingering from last night. After having had quite a few drinks and very hasty night, you feel the need to wash your face and clean up a little bit; your makeup still lingers from last night, and it’s not as horrid as you thought it’d be, but you try to remove some stains and whatever makes you look like you woke up with a hangover. You find a little brand-new mouthwash by the sink and use a bit of it, to freshen up. After brushing your hair, you feel you’re now rather decent, and go back to bed. Climbing slowly up the bed, you notice he’s still sleeping and looking so relaxed and at peace. As you cover your body with the duvet, he shifts in his place, sighing deeply as he rubs his eyes with the back of his hands. You watch him as he turns to see you and gives you the biggest smile one can get at this time of the day.

“Good morning.” You smile at him, running your fingers through his hair as he closes his eyes for a second, sighing softly at your touch.

“Morning, doll.” He replies with a deeper voice than you know. “Sleep well?” He asks, with a light frown, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Of course I did, you?” He hums, and props his elbow on the pillow, and you mimic his position.

“I’ll be right back.” He says, getting out of bed and heading to the bathroom wearing only his briefs, letting you admire for a moment his sculpted chest and back, making you curse yourself for waiting so long for this to happen. You assume he went to wash up, too, and as he comes back into the room he stops and frowns. “Are you wearing my t-shirt?” He puts his fists on his hips, making his arms and chest look even better from where you’re sitting.

“Of course I am, I had to get up earlier and it was the first thing I found.” You shrug, and he shakes his head, climbing back on the bed. Both of you sit on the bed, crossing your legs and you stretch out your arms, feeling your back relax right after.

“I must have like five hundred texts from Sam.” He runs a hand through his still messy hair.

“I’m sure I have twice that.” You roll your eyes, thinking about every single joke Sam must be making up right now, saving them for the moment he sees you and Bucky together. Wait…are you two together? What did last night mean? Did it mean anything at all? Your head’s filled with all the questions you’ve wanted to avoid all this time and clearly your face can’t hide your concern.

“Y/N, are you okay?” You shake your head and smile at him, trying to hide whatever’s bugging you.

“Yeah, I was just, um…thinking about…” He stares at you, his eyes glistening in the way they always do when he’s around you. He always looks you in the eye when he listens to you, he’s a great listener. You gaze at him for a moment and remember every single moment he’s made you feel as if you’re floating, of every time you thought of him when buying a CD or a record and how he would like it when he borrowed it from you, when you watched him make Sarah her favorite waffles and every Saturday breakfast you shared. There was nothing you could do, you were in love with Bucky Barnes.

“About…what an idiot I am for taking so long to…do this.” He leans over and kisses you, a deep but short kiss, resting his hand on your neck.

“Are you sure? Is that it?” He frowns, caressing your cheek with his thumb. You nod give him a small smile.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” You sigh and gaze at him for yet another moment, relishing in the peace of this moment. “I had a lot of fun last night…but…” You take a second to think and finally realize that there’s something you need to say now before it’s too late. “I’m scared of hurting you and Sarah, of getting involved in that small family you have there and messing it all up.”

“Y/N, doll, you’re not gonna hurt us, I want to be with you.” He takes your hands in his. “I can take care of myself…and Sarah. And all I know is that being with you is what I’ve wanted since you recommended all those CD’s and records at the store that day.” You narrow your eyes at him, unable to hide the smile he just caused on you.

“Really? Ever since that day?”

“Well, if you didn’t like me that day, then I didn’t like you either.” He holds up his hands. He makes you chuckle; he always makes you laugh. You grab a pillow and hit his head gently, making him fake an Ouch! and hit you back, messing up your hair.

“What are you, eight?” You laugh at him, fixing your hair and faking a judgmental face.

“I have a daughter younger than that, you know.” You chuckle, look down at your knotted fingers, thinking about how someone could ever walk away from him and Sarah and the wonderful home they make, then again, you don’t even know what happened with her, you don’t know who she is, how they met and how he ended up getting Sarah. You barely know anything about them and all the uncertainty has caused you the fear you feel right now.

“Y/N, honey, I still feel like there’s something you’re not telling me.” He says, making you look up at him. “Is it about Sarah?”

“No!” You quickly reply. “No, it’s not Sarah, I…I love that kid.” You assure him. “It’s just the fact that you’re a single dad and…that I still don’t know anything about…”

“Her mother?” He frowns, and it strikes you that maybe this wasn’t the moment to bring that up. You frown, too, nodding but he remains silent for a moment.

“You don’t have to tell me, it’s just that what’s held me back is that I don’t know enough about you and your story and you don’t know a lot of things about me either…”

“I want to tell you, Y/N.” he cuts you off. “I’ve been meaning to tell you but the moments weren’t right or I was afraid of doing it.”

“Which is exactly why you don’t have to tell me, Buck. I’m just always full of fears, even about things that feel…more than right.” You pause. “I don’t want to spoil this moment and last night, so let’s not talk about this for a moment.”

“I just…don’t want you to ever feel afraid of anything when you’re with me.” More than being crystal blue, Bucky’s eyes had a truth and emotion in them that you had never seen before. You’ve trusted people, you’ve believed in somebody’s good heart but not like this.

|Tagging some people I haven't talked to in a while but that I really appreciate (feel free to ask me to remove your tag)

@stuckonjbbarnes @mushyjellybeans @honeyvbarnes @babblingbonky @mrwinterr @valkyriesryde @mypassionsarenysins @livyourextralife

Permanent taglist: @imma-new-soul

Fic taglist: @eliza5616 @jamesbarnesappreciationclub @93generation

@shawnie--jo @cheeseedreams47

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #single dad bucky #single dad bucky x reader #sam wilson #steve rogers #peggy carter #captain america #marvel #mcu #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws #sebastian stan #anthony mackie

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penwieldingdreamer · 3 years

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Dante's Prayer - Chapter 1

Thank you all for your likes and reblogs. I'm really happy you liked it. Now on with the next part. Let me know what you think about it and if you want to be tagged. As always thank you @fortheloveoffanfic for being my beta.

Warnings: Mentions of war, mentions of sex, period-typical sexism, canon-typical violence

Words: 1304

Chapter 1

Arrow House, Warwickshire, 1924

"Tommy, you need to consider remarrying." Aunt Polly told him, bouncing Charlie on her knee as she watched her nephew pace behind his desk. "There have been rumors goin' round."

Taking a deep breath, the leader of the Peaky Blinders turned to the older woman. "What would you have me do, Poll, ey? Take the next best woman that's out on the streets?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Tommy. You need someone with good connections and money." she told him, hoisting the boy into her arms and coming to stand next to Tommy. “She has to accept that you’ve been married before, that there’s a child. Even though we’re rich now, doesn’t mean that all women of the world will fall over for Thomas Shelby.”

Snorting, the second eldest Shelby grinned at his aunt, although the smile wouldn’t reach his eyes. Not since Grace had been shot because of him. “As you just so nicely reminded us, we don’ need the fuckin’ money, the Shelby’s are already fuckin’ rich. What are you gonna do? Arrange a marriage, just like John and Esme?”

“Stop the cursin’, will you. There’s a small child here.” Shrugging her shoulders, Polly regarded him with a stern look he just knew all too well. “I talked to Johnny Dogs, he knows a family in Ireland. Lots of connections, loads of old money.”

“No, Poll.” he shook his head, opening the silver case to grab another cigarette, hoping to calm his nerves from the nagging of his aunt. “I’m not goin’ ta bring anyone new into this family. There’s enough people to take care of as it is. Who’s to say that family doesn’t have ties to our enemies?”

Smoothing out Charlie’s dark blond hair, Polly Grace shook her head. “Stubborn as a mule, that one.” she muttered to the boy, the corners of her lips moving up into a smile as she heard the two-year old laugh at her. “Even John wasn’t bitchin’ so much. I know why you won’t do it, Thomas, but you need to see reason. Your boy needs a mother and you, you need someone to warm that heart of yours, even if ye don’ believe me. Be ready in a week, Johnny will take you to see your future wife.”

Grunting, Thomas Shelby watched his aunt leave the study, his son perched on her hip. Grace had only been gone a few weeks - or had it really been months? - and yet his family was forcing him to marry some spoiled high society girl, whose only problem would be the perfect temperature of her tea. Letting out a defeated sigh, the leader of the Peaky Blinders sank into the plush sofa Polly had occupied minutes before and looked at the portrait of his late wife. “What am I goin’ to do without you, eh? You shouldna have been involved in my fuckin’ mess, Grace."

Of course there was no answer from her, the smile on her lips stayed forever frozen. Dropping his head into his hands, he breathed in the air filled with tobacco and whiskey, trying to keep every detail of his love in his heart, never to forget her.

Dublin, Ireland 1924

"Edward, when will you tell our daughter that it's not ladylike to run around with a horse like that?" Helene McCann, Duchess of Leinster and Baroness of Kildare, admonished her husband entering the large sunroom of their country home Castletown House.

Sitting at the table with his other two daughters Amalie and Louise, he read the newspaper and only hummed. "What would you have me do, hm? Send her to her rooms and lock the doors?" Andrew, Duke of Leinster folded the papers and leaned back to watch his wife with an amused smile on his lips. "She is just as free spirited as you, my darling."

"Oh no, I'm definitely blaming you on that one. Saoirse has done everything to avoid being a proper lady, no thanks to you, love." she countered, sipping her tea and giving her husband an angry look. “You know that Mr. Shelby will arrive today and I want her to be presentable.”

Shaking his head, Andrew grabbed his pipe and lit the tobacco. "Saoirse is just like your mother's cousin has been. She was a free spirit, too, a friend of nature and I know you often went to visit her. I do believe Mister Shelby will be very lucky to marry her and you know that as well."

Sighing, the mother of three leaned back in her seat and turned her gaze on the gardens, hoping that her youngest daughter would at least be fine while out there riding through the forest behind their home.

Hooves beat against the cold ground, harsh pants of the horse sounded in the silence of the woods as it raced through the trees, nostrils flared and kept its attention on the sounds around him.

“Socair.” Saoirse spoke softly, guiding her stallion through the thick undergrowth. “Calm, my love.”

Since her mother had told her about the arranged marriage, the youngest of three daughters left to find solace with her animals. Her dappled grey White Knight brought her to the flower field she had found a few months earlier. “Good boy, we’re going to stay here and enjoy the sun before those men come.”

With a snort, the stallion stopped and Saoirse jumped from the saddle, taking the bridle off of him. She took a deep breath and brushed her hand over the speckled coat of the horse. “I can’t believe father agreed to that marriage mother arranged.”

There had never been time in her life that she wished more than ever to not be a descendant from royalty than now. Arrangements had been made with Thomas Shelby, leader of a gang in Birmingham. Her mother had told Saoirse that in a few months she'd be his wife and make sure that their connections would help him further his business and standing in politics.

Leaning against his neck, the young woman closed her eyes. "What should I do, huh? I don't want to be a wife being kept in a house as a broodmare. I just, I want freedom."

Both, rider and horse snapped to attention when a twig broke behind them in the woods. "Who's there?" she called, her eyes flitting through the green leaves of the trees.

"It's just I, princess." the man reasoned, his accent thick as he spoke. Moving through the underbrush, Saoirse could see the kind eyes of Johnny Dogs he only reserved for her. "I knew I might find ye out 'ere."

Smiling, she moved in for a tight hug. "Oh, how I missed you, Johnny. It has been boring ever since you left."

"Oh I know," the Irish mused with a smile. "I bet yer mum has had you reciting poetry and embroidery."

Rolling her eyes, Saoirse lightly hit his shoulder. "Don't remind me. I'm not as much the lady she wants me to be. But now, why are you here? Don't tell me he's here already."

"I'm afraid he's 'ere." Johnny sighed, seeing the defeated look darken her eyes. He had known her since she was a little girl, having worked for the Duke in his stables and taught her everything about horses and riding that he knew. "Please Saoirse, it's not as bad as ye make it out to be."

Exasperated, she turned away from her friend, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm losing my freedom to be a gangster's wife so he can further his business while I'll have to sit in his manor and play the lady of the house, greeting guests and giving him children to make him seem good."

"Just give Thomas a chance, once in a while people will surprise you." Johnny tried to reason with her.

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