#after he didn’t get to go last year
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21/2/24
#fingers cross for all the louis at glasto content this year#after he didn’t get to go last year#we need cute drunk sunkissed festival louis!#conveniently he has no festival gigs of his own booked neither during nor around glasto#oh and he should bring back the stone roses tank top!#(also can they please do roskilde too)#liam gallagher#john squire#glastonbury#nme#21.02.24#news
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i miss her…
#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all#but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up#a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less#and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads#anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time#he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often#my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know#i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona#i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye#oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man
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I think about this artwork of Christopher doing a spooky smile and the fact that the boss theme from The Adventure is called “Kill! Kill! Kill!” sometimes. I know his games don’t really give him a whole lot of characterization, but man I’m taking this as a character trait now lol. Serious, wholesome Mr. Dad Belmont himself can be a little sadistic if he wants to, like his job as a vampire hunter a little too much maybe—
Belmonts are allowed to be a little scary sometimes I think :3
#castlevania#castlevania games#text post#art post#my art#christopher belmont#Castlevania the adventure#Belmont’s Revenge#hehehehe I need to draw the Belmonts getting to be a little scary sometimes more often#they are hunters after all#their whole duty in life is to kill things to protect people#I like to think maybe Christopher didn’t defeat Dracula properly because he was just too sure it would work#not in a cocky overconfident way just like#I go do my job the job gets done situation over#probably also when you beat the hell out of something you expect it to be dead for real lol#and he was only the second person to deal with Dracula technically and he didn’t do that last time so#out of all of the Belmonts I think Christopher probably genuinely had a little fun his first time through lol#he probably just did his job and went back home into the family house woods and kept to himself mostly#15 years go by and then it’s like uh oh Drac is back in town—#it’s kinda interesting how every Belmont seems to have some kind of bloodlust or something similar tho#Leon holding a grudge against ‘you and the night’#Trevor and whatever all that was in Curse of Darkness like geez bro chill#Christopher seeming a little too into killing bosses lol#Soleil got possessed oops#Simon idk how to explain him in one tag lol#Juste doesn’t actually really have it he gets a pass#Richter and uh well the everything#Julius being kinda really pushy about that ‘I’ll kill you if you go drac mode soma’ lol#yeah like again Juste gets a pass he is a wonderful pure boy in this instance#anyway Christopher propaganda please spread please please-
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debating on whether or not to write another grieving mpreg!sam fic where he finds out he’s pregnant the day after deans death
#its been like 3 years and yet here i am.#i genuinely feel like i am at my best when i’m writing grieving tormented sad sam#also thinking abt whether i want it to be a/b/o or not#i’ve never actually dabbled into writing it myself but i love reading it. so many interesting dynamics#like. what if omega!sam finally went off his heat suppressants because he and dean decided they finally wanted to#settle down#and so they’re ‘not trying but if it happens it happens’#and atp sam is like. 38-39 so the likelihood he actually gets pregnant isn’t very high#so they’re just like living peacefully and then dean decides he wants to go on one last hunt for old times sake#one last hunt and then they’ll both settle down for good this time. just relaxing after years of not being able to#also maybe sam has been having a lot of morning sickness that week or like. a few days before but he didn’t rlly attribute it to anything#bcuz he just assumed he wouldn’t actually get pregnant.#and then they go on the hunt. and dean dies. and sam takes a pregnancy test either a day or like. a week after#also alternatively dean goes on the hunt alone but i like the idea of sam having to watch him go before his very eyes#man idk if i want them to be pregnant before because like. then it’d make no sense for them to go on a hunt and take that risk?????#arrrgh
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#in a strange place today and i need to put this somewhere. i do not have a journal yet. this is it#my grandad was diagnosed with dementia years ago and the grandad i have now is often unrecognisable from the one i grew up with#and while this like isn’t fun and it is strange for him to look at me and not know me more times than he does. it has also been kind of l#lovely?#bc he thinks my granny is still alive so whenever i get to go see him i get to pretend she is too. and she is for a minute. and tho i am#glad she went before him. it is nice to say oh i’m popping in to see her after this grandad and talk about her like she’s hasn’t been gone#since i’ve been ten. my dad has spoken more to him in the last five years than he has his whole life#he was not an easy man. he was loud and friendly and hard working and funny and scary but not easy. in ways he is even#harder now. in others he is easier.#he is more of a child. this is what dementia can do to a brain. we are learning things about his childhood that no one alive has ever spoken#about. that no one knew. my dad doesn’t love him more now but he understands him better#my grandad taught me how to drive a tractor and how to fish through my dad and he has not recognised me in over a year and he#hasn’t walked since he broke his pelvis seven years ago and his muscles are nearly all gone. he is a fraction of the size he used to be. his#personality and body took up my childhood like adults on the screen in cartoons. he hasn’t dressed himself in a decade. he told one of the#nurses that after dinner he wanted ice cream plain like herself and nearly peed when she laughed and told him to fuck off#he is in there. he is himself. i know him. but he isn’t. he doesn’t know me but he allows me to tell him how to ppl he knows are doing. he#still somehow trusts me. we talk a lot about my granny and how she stayed up watching tv again last night so she’s tired today. don’t stay#long when you call in to see her?#whenever we would journey to see him and my granny and get in v late he’d ask us if we wanted apple tart and my granny would say michael.#not ur kids. u can’t parent them. he didn’t know my name yesterday but he asked me if i wanted apple tart#i hope he dies soon. for all that i will miss this. miss my dad having this. he would not want to live like this. it wouldntbe living to him
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so tired of feeling sick all of the time. I’m in the middle of moving, this time to an upstairs apartment, and just carrying one box up the stairs kills me 😰
#and it’s soooo hot out#moving boxes in 90° heat sucks butts#I seriously feel like I’m going to puke and pass out from just minimal labor#saaaaad#I hate this dang body#I mean.. I blame myself for getting this week. but still.. damn I couldn’t have done a few push ups this year?#all the meds and stuff prob/def?/maybe don’t help#I overheat too easily#I’m actually so glad I didn’t unpack most of my stuff after last year’s move#and I’m staying in the same apartment complex. just a slightly nicer apt. slightly.#but this current one is just… kinda shitty. things break and never get fixed. loud neighbors. etc#new apt is in a smaller newer building. same number of rooms. just… not as broken.#met the new neighbor. he’s younger than me w/ a fiancé and he’s super nice. lots of tattoos. cool cool.#been going through and throwing away and donating a lot of stuff#like… really neat stuff that I just can’t keep anymore or clothes that don’t fit#bummer but I hope someone hits up goodwill and is like ‘oh sweet. a Morrissey shirt.’#that would make me feel good#I offered my younger brother some cool band shirts like AFI and stuff but he was like ‘I don’t know who that is’#RUDE!#I just don’t see myself fitting into a large shirt anytime soon. maybe in a year but not anytime soon enough.#anyway… oh yeah! I feel like shit all the time#just bad body disorder#im workin on it! jeez!#anyway… I just take my handful of pills and hope for the best 🫤#ok gotta go I love you#you can ignore this#text
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I saw in your notes that you had to cancel your birthday so happy (possibly late) birthday!!
Haha thanks it was last year in September lol!!
And actually I did get to do birthday plans it was just kinda miserably bc the reason I was going to cancel was due to conflicts with my mum (and her making me feel like an awful person about it), but my other mum didn’t care and we went anyways and it was actually fine (the concerns my mum didn’t happen)
Also I was going through basically a platonic break up as well so crazy month lol
But thank you, and everyone who sent me flags, it was nice to get some positive interaction during all that!
#i think I said I cancelled out of mental health reasons#yeah my mental health issue is my parents#they technically did give me mental health issues I definitely was depressed last year before this incident#full context is I have a brother who was 3 and my mum thought he would have a tantrum at the restaurant bc it would be late#and she told me in a way that made me feel like a horrible person for even suggesting going out and never considering other people#the whole summer beforehand was about similar conflicts#but we went anyways and my brother probably enjoyed himself more than I did lol#i just checked all my discord msgs bc I talk to my friends about my parents a lot (it’s good to have a paper trail so I can know exactly wh#and how I’m traumatised by my parents lol)#and apparently after days of me asking my mum if we’re sure we can go and she’s happy to go out and to let me know if it won’t work#she made a backhanded comment the day before we were going to go out#where basically my brother was asleep and she said in a moody tone that this is what it would be like if we went out#and I was just devastated bc I gave her plenty of ways out and at that point I actually had my hopes up about it#and she didn’t say we can’t go she just shat on the idea so backhandedly#oh wow it was such a headache#we cancelled and we’re gonna do it Monday#and then last second we went out that day anyways#yknow when I wasn’t prepared and didn’t get enough sleep#my god#worst birthday actually#at least my sister was there she was cool#anyways sorry for vent ig??#anon#ask#personal
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not to be bitter about the Durins again but it will never stop pissing me off to a burning degree that in the movies Kíli dies off in a little corner with no one but one elf he met two days ago around, and she’s nerfed to the point she’s utterly helpless until RIGHT AFTER he’s killed. It feels so bullshit and unfulfilling. I remember me and a friend were huge fans of the Durins (her even more than me) as well as the little Kíli and Tauriel side story back when the movies came out, and we watched it in theatres and she literally said she would never watch that scene again bc it disappointed her so badly. She skips it to this day. Bc why the fuck did they have Kíli die for an elf he barely knew (I like Tauriel but it is true— they’ve known each other for maybe two or three days total) over the family he ran out into battle to defend, the family he set out on the quest with and the family that he was so proud of. Why was he not with his brother, or trying to defend his uncle who was still very much alive and in danger? Tauriel literally just serves to get Kíli killed in that scene, bc they nerf her (CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD. Even against a tough orc she should be holding her own) but have Legolas out there holding his own, and it is nowhere NEAR as emotionally devestating as the single sentence we’re given in the book of how Kíli and Fíli went down defending their uncle. I can almost excuse the change in how Fíli dies bc it does hold emotional weight, but Kíli’s death going from the devotion of family even to his own doom into dying for an elf he has puppy love for while being totally cut off from the other dwarves fucking killed the scene for me. And there isn’t really even a good payoff for Tauriel afterward either. We just leave her there regretting she ever loved him. It hurts me so damn much, and not least of which is because for every video someone does as a tribute to Thorin and his nephews, it always takes a sharp left turn into Tauriel watching Kíli die all by himself and it doesn’t even feel related to the other’s deaths. I think it would have felt much more like the best of both if they’d kept Kíli dying defending his family, and then have Tauriel come to him as he’s dying. But that’s not what happened. It fucking sucks. I promise I do like the movies but I will stand hard by saying that it’s weakest writing is the latter half of the second and the former half of the third movie. It only really picks up to consistently good scenes at Thorin’s battle with Azog in my opinion. Sorry for another brief hater moment but man. Man.
#lotr#the hobbit#sons of durin#thorin oakenshield#kili#fili#kili and fili#(their last name isn’t Durin but I’m tempted to tag it as such since I see a lot of people use that.#though to be fair what other character is named Kíli or Fíli out there lmao)#I fucking LIKE TAURIEL. but she is not more important than his family. like she is a crush he has but UR BROTHER JUST DIED MAN.#UR UNCLE IS ABOUT TO. IM SORRY BUT TAURIEL SHOULD BE ABLE TO HANDLE HERSELF AGAINST A SINGLE GODDAMN ORC.#ISNT SHE A GENERAL??#PLEASE. it hurts so bad. and they have the GALL to remind us abt Dís w the stone afterward. like family was at all involved#in how Kíli died beyond what sent him up the stairs. I don’t even think his last thoughts were portrayed as his family in the movie.#it looks like all he’s thinking about is Tauriel. not the fact that his mother will never see him again. not that he failed his uncle.#not even that he didn’t get to avenge his brother.#then Thranduil comes in and it feels awful bc she doesn’t seem to get any payoff for her character.#and this is a personal nitpick but the dialogue there just. it doesn’t end satisfyingly.#the ‘because it was real’ like never felt impactful to me. it actually felt kind of cheesy?? Tauriel’s lines actually have weight to them#and then Legolas movie bombs that scene too and we just. forget about Tauriel over there VERY LIKELY dying from elven grief#’go talk to the 12 year old in the north. for some reason he’s already called Strider’#and Kíli’s body is RIGHT THERE. they’re doing nostalgia bait and MCU level ‘ohh this guy’ shit RIGHT AFTER THE DURIN’S DIE
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#thinking about how this time last year I was excited and looking forward to hanging out/going on a date with#this guy who would ultimately end up being the reason why I don’t ever wanna date again#and how we needed up spending pretty much the whole day together#starting with getting coffee and him asking me to lunch because he wanted to keep hanging out#and then inviting me to a show with him and his friends#and then we would end up dating for the next three months#taking it slow and getting to actually know one another#ya know that whole three month rule thing 🙄🙄#and how he was so genuine and respectful in his pursuit of me#and how we agreed to be exclusive like two and a half months in#only for him to break up with me two weeks later the day after I got mono (which I’m still positive was from him)#and tell me that he didn’t have anything to offer as far as dating but could we be friends ??#and now we don’t even talk anymore#but he somehow still occupies space in my brain#and I hate it but not him 🫠🫠🫠#anywho it’s been a year since I met him and went on that first date#and sometimes I wish I hadn’t met him#and other times I think it was inevitable#because I probably wouldn’t have reevaluated what I wanted in dating and a partner#but also maybe I would’ve actually still maintained some hope in love and dating#idk we’re having feelings tonight#mine#text post#*ended up Jesus I can spell okay??
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seeing the reactions to this latest chapter I can’t help but to think back to the first post-war arc and remember how little was ever addressed then too.. like dgmw I enjoy all these characters and think horikoshi is insane for trying to juggle so many but in the end he kinda like. Cannot handle it all. maybe he could if he didn’t waste time on silly things.. like I get that he’s trying to uplift the story in the end but it kinda falls incredibly flat with so many anxious questions looming and a rapidly approaching finish line…
#like remember midnight. how her fate was like. summarily dismissed by aizawa and that was about the extent of it..#then there was stuff like fatgum tamaki gang orca etc who the last we saw was them all lying on the ground in machia’s wake#and like we never really learned if any of them were ok or not til like. dozens of chapters later#and I get these are offhand characters at best but some people still like them. and would like to know if they’re like. alive.#i think mainly it’s a pacing thing. like after all that which was the climax of the final battle#which was drawn out for what? a year irl? how many goddamn chapters?#it feels like we’re just like. stumbling along now. still kinda shell-shocked from the conclusion#except there is an extremely finite amount of time to cover a large amount of character conclusions this time#like i’ll be honest i don’t give a shit abt bkg and shoto’s fangirls#I’d like to know if any of the villains are actually going to survive this and if any real steps are going to be taken#towards addressing the systematic flaws that led to the creation of said villains in the first place.#like your whole goddamn story has been leading up to all along. like I really don’t know if that can all be covered in a single chapter#since with the way things are going I doubt we’ll get much more time than that. if even.#all this to say I think hori kinda. fumbles with actual conclusions. he just keeps trucking into the next plotline#but since there Isn’t a next plotline. idk how this is gonna go tbh. hopes are actively dying with each dwindling chapter#unless there’s some kind of hail mary in the next chapter (or the last. god. why) then tbh idrk what we’re doing here.#horikoshi: ‘my job here is done’ us: ‘but you didn’t do anything’ horikoshi: flips cape and leaves#bnha#bnha spoilers#not really tho tbh#a cattail tale#this is kinda rambley sorry it’s like 6am and I need to go to sleep
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1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!
2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr
3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!
overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!
#aritalks#i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use#not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before#and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk#but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day!#the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow#also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years#(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years#and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk)#was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!!#i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight#so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday#my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work#my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all#over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins)#but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered#(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting#when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so#just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my#mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19)#so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her#and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too#i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure#out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still#dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not#the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one#if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it#but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help#and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks#just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️
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He’s such a loser bro
#rambling#ppl only watch his streams to see him get drunk and cry#I really used to watch his videos bro what the fuck was wrong with me#back when he was doing the war in chiraq but stopped after Vic Mensa called him a bitch to his face and didn’t do anything about it but sit#there while abandoning that same channel he used poor black ppl in Chicago to get his first bit of clout off of#aka is literally drake’s number 1 dick eater I’m glad I stopped watching his videos years ago#he never used to talk about real hip hop news only drama and Drake#Kendrick got the Pulitzer award and all sorts of accomplishments over the years and i remember aka literally never making any videos about#them despite him being a popular hip hop news outlet#like he legit would hardly ever mention Kendrick on his channel#because he’s a Drake fan he’s so embarrassing bro#all of these hip hop media outlets have been so bad for the culture surrounding the genre for years man#aka being erm. ground zero for more of the really loud and obnoxious shit that’s been going on for the last ten years or so#then you have nbs and whites like adam22 speaking on the genre as if their opinions actually matter#and cam’ron and mase being in drake’s pocket and criticizing Kendrick for replying back to drake’s diss 17 days later despite Drake taking#weeks to almost a full month to do so himself#and the fact that he never responded back to pusha t… like what kind of line of thinking even is this and they’re supposed to be some of#the ‘real hip hop’ guys folding like barbz
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#negativity cw#my younger siblings are better than me and my mom has said it many times#my first attempt at university I withdrew six weeks into my first semester#when my oldest younger sib (4 years younger) went to university#during that first semester my mom told me they had a running joke about them lasting longer than me when the 6 week came around#same sibling did a semester abroad last fall#completely on their own initiative#while I was in community college my mom encouraged me to get a job as a tutor#this sibling also got a tutoring job completely on their own initiative and my parents didn’t find out about it until after the fact#this sibling has been managing uni in a dorm and while during the pandemic#I lived at home and commuted all throughout my uni#they are managing their grades and classes and mental health diagnoses on their own#while I needed my parents riding my ass to stay on track in college#also one of my coworkers has a son who is also 4 years younger that me#and he is completely paying for his own tuition through scholarships and a co-op job#my mom has straight up said that they are better than me and. it’s true.#they are. they are going to surpass me
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i give up. i quit. where’s the option to go back to art school, i don’t want to be a lawyer anymore. i’m done with defending this bitch, in fact i hope edgeworth gets the chair—that’ll serve him right for OBJECTING TO HIS OWN FUCKING INNOCENCE
#motherfucker it was OVER!!!!! we WON#literally all he had to do was stand there and keep his mouth SHUT what did i ever do to deserve this#don’t change ur major to chase after a man HE AINT WORTH IT#i knew he was gonna object. i knew it#but when he didn’t say anything before the judge gave his verdict i thought for a SECOND#MAYBE this bitch was gonna work with me and just accept the win#but nooooooooooooo nothing can ever be easy can it#fucking called a PARROT to the stand LIKE A MORON and this is the thanks i get???#if he doesn’t get the chair i will kill him myself#(i know he’s got issues ok this is why i love him and he’s my favourite character)#(me and phoenix both. ‘i can fix him’ GOOD FUCKING LUCK)#(you wanted to help him??? this is what happens)#(careful what you wish for and all that)#it’s two thirty in the morning i should be sleeping. i’m losing valuable hours of rest for this. literally taking years off my life#i got off work at 11. i got four hours of sleep last night. why am i still awake#this game is going to kill me#ace attorney#jx.txt
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something something teenaged weird girl archetype carrying a torch for the man who gave him a place and a person to call home and only years later when he’s older does that man see him in a new and unexpected light
#red randomness#ace attorney#the great ace attorney#herlock sholmes#yujin mikotoba#raymond shields#gregory edgeworth#homumiko#gregray#I’m going to be crucified for this take but at least it will have been fun while it lasted#my friend called this post ‘the 9/11 of ship discourse’#naturally Gregray didn’t get to happen this way in-universe because of Gregory’s death… but in an alternate universe it could be real…#used to not care for homumiko but the Gregray parallels got me good#yes yes Yujin move back into Baker Street along with Ryunosuke and Susato. be taken care of by the man you used to take care of.#realize the incredible man Herlock has become in your long absence#and once you’ve begun to atone - really atone - for all your flaws and mistakes#realize that the love he’s felt for you all along is in your heart too#Greg has far fewer negative points than Yujin which is why in my mind it could have happened in a few years post-2001#but I just can’t justify to myself putting Yujin with Herlock when Herlock is still young and Yujin has a baby he abandoned across the world#the smooching comes After the self-loathing acknowledgment of one’s sins#this also does not diminish my love for Ryulock in anyway. just as Gregray did not diminish my love for Gregbadd or Rayte. multishipping!#the great ace attorney spoilers
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I am making another blood of coffee I have decided cause self care. I have art things to work on for my booth I need to be buzz buzz!
#personal#husband is working the closing shift#I am trying to stay upbeat#he helped me so much last night#but I am scared of going low again#I have this irrational fear that there is something deeply wrong inside of me that makes people abandon me or use me#and I am terrified he will wake up and all of a sudden see it and decide I am not worth it#like we are married and happily so and I have no reason to feel this way#but my trauma and past have been hitting hard the last few days because someone I cared deeply for messaged me back randomly#after a year and a half since I reached out and 3 years since last contact#they were a brother to me and meant the fucking world#the sun shown out of their ass to me that’s how I felt at the time#they weren’t nice but that’s okay it just didn’t make sense#I was doing so well#so fucking well#and now I feel like that girl that’s too broken to love all over again#I am working my journal and if it gets worse I will do the right thing and contact my therapist#but I am just not okay#just really really not okay#what if I am broken inside and too broken to love and my husband sees it finally and leaves too#what if this is just a fairytale and I wake up
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