#after he died in may i couldn't bring myself to start it for at least a month because i was scared it wouldn't do him justice

[echeveriia]

in repose/talking to god

[lighthouseshepard]

ahhh been too afraid to pm you but hi from a silent mutual!!

writing prompt: john and yorick chat while arthur sleeps :))

HI HELLO!! im also always too afraid to pm everyone! thank you so much for sending this in and so sorry it took me a while! been a very busy few days (:

"Is he fully asleep, my king?"

John groans in annoyance among the relative darkness he'd been sulking within. Ever since Arthur's eyes shut once he fell into an exhausted, heavy slumber nearly thirty minutes prior, he'd been reluctant to try and exercise what little muscle control he possessed to squint them open again. Manipulating those muscles usually woke him regardless of how careful he was, leaving him with a splitting headache neither of them could explain. And at the moment, John couldn't bring himself to disturb the hard won sleep, as fitful as it was.

Yes, he's asleep, he hisses impatiently. Yorick's voice came from somewhere to their left, still attached by the chain threaded around their waist. Arthur's right arm twitches, fingers scrabbling for some imaginary thing, before falling still.

"Excellent," says the skull. "Our master requires much rest after that entire ordeal."

Our master? John snorts. The subtle stirrings of a cool night's breeze brush against the skin of his left hand, welcome after the wet, stale air of the cave. He's your master, not mine. 

"He is master to both of us!" Yorick exclaims, far too loudly. "Just as you are a king to him and myself. An inseparable pair, the dies irae, intertwined inexorably, dominion over one another and all else."

Jesus fucking Christ, John mutters, wishing he could wince. What does that even mean?

“Exactly as I said. Would you like me to repeat it?”

No, no. Can you quiet down? You're going to wake him.

“Certainly, my king.” His reply drops to a tone only slightly less loud than before. 

 And stop calling me that, he adds irritably. I'm not a king.

"You were once a king," Yorick states matter of fact, jaw clacking solidly as he speaks, a peculiarly troubling imitation of human life. "I do not see the issue with proclaiming this."

Once, he emphasizes. I'm not... I'm not that being any longer. I don't claim to be any kind of ruler anymore.

"Fair enough! What shall I call you if not a ruler, then?" 

John, he grinds out, the last droplet of water among the barren desert of his patience threatening to dissolve. John is fine.

"Alright," Yorick says, sounding pleased. "King John, how may I serve you?"

John heaves a haggard sigh. Unbelievable, he groans, and attempts to turn his attention away for a brief, blissful second to collect what surely remained of his sanity.

The thing that called itself vanguard spoke incessantly. Within the caves, climbing out into rain-damp earth and sky, walking to find shelter for nightfall in the hopes of catching at least a few hours sleep - it had not stopped talking the entire way. John had half a mind to untangle Yorick from Arthur's belt when he wasn't paying attention and throw him as far as his eyes could see. He'd never liked the thought of the vanguard anyway, had never wanted Arthur to take the head, keep the tooth. Something about a creature which existed simultaneously in the Dreamlands, the Dark World and their own reality never sat well with him. 

A hypocritical perspective, possibly, considering. Yet that similarity alone made him nervous, straddling a razor's cautious edge. He knew what he was capable of. Yorick remained a mystery.

They'd found an oak tree, its canopy stretching out far enough to provide cover from the last stray rain clouds rolling by, so long as Arthur kept curled at its trunk. He had fallen under almost immediately. One or two words exchanged between him and that damned skull, and he was out, John's name half formed on his lips in what sounded like the start of a question. It would likely be forgotten upon waking. Already Yorick was taking time meant for him.

Regardless, John knew him to be valuable, an asset they couldn't afford to get rid of. Certainly not now, with nothing to their names except the clothes Arthur wore and the bag he carried, no money, no food. If Yorick could be a wealth of information like he claimed, they'd have to put up with him a while longer. 

And then John could toss him into a lake.

In the stretch of thankful silence, Yorick apparently finally listening to his demands, he reaches over and inspects what remained of the wound. Dried blood coated Arthur's wrinkled shirt close to his heart, stiffening the fabric. Laying his palm flat and hesitantly across his chest, John takes solace in the flighty pulse tangibly felt there. Not too long ago there was none at all.

Arthur murmurs something wordless under his touch. John retracts his hand quickly, mildly guilty at having potentially disturbed him.

“You dislike when he sleeps,” Yorick says. Despite his position by Arthur's hip, rolled sideways where he'd come to rest as they laid down on dry grass, his voice still seemed to come from somewhere else around them. 

John waits a second for more to follow. Nothing comes - it's a statement, not an inquiry.

I don't dislike him sleeping, he huffs. He has to rest, obviously.

“Yet it troubles you regardless? The absence of him.”

I don't, John sputters out, struggling to keep his voice level. I'm not… lonely if that's what you're suggesting. Will you just shut up already? We're both going to wake him up at this rate.

“Our master is blind to the world in multiple senses of the word,” says Yorick. “Deep within a dream. He will not wake for some time.”

How do you know he's dreaming? he asks, perplexed. You can't… see into his mind, or-

“I know a great many things.” Another beat of silence, decorated by the cricket song in the surrounding brush shielding them from view. Again John waits for an explanation, growling agitatedly when none is forthcoming.

Such as? he prompts. What is he dreaming about? 

“I do not know the specifics,” clacks Yorick. “Yet I'm aware of the turmoil of his thoughts. There is a string of piano keys tied like wire around his ankles, a bathtub overflowing, a yellow sun-”

Okay, I get the specifics! John mutters. So a nightmare, clearly.

“Precisely! Excellent conclusion, King John.”

He was starting to immediately regret accidentally adding John to that title. Is there a way we can help him, then?

As if on cue, subconsciously aware he was being discussed, Arthur lets out a low, pained breath of air. Instinctively John’s hand jolts to attention, fingers delicately skimming the wound like he would find answers or assistance there. His legs were twitching, again his arm reaching and then recoiling from something John couldn’t see or understand. 

Nightmares were the only times he felt useful, whenever Arthur slept. Lingering in the corners of his mind, stuck between drifting into his own thoughts and keeping an active listen for anything that might hurt them while he was out - it wore him down in ways be couldn't explain. Yorick was right, even though John would rather revisit the Dark World than admit it. He did hate when Arthur had to sleep for the emptiness it left him with. Being able to wake him from a bad dream as soon as he caught the signs left him aware of a strange, disjointed sense of selfish pleasure. Even if it came at the risk of Arthur’s unhappiness, helping him out of a nightmare was one thing he could do consistently right.

“He will not wake until the nightmare is complete,” Yorick says nonchalantly. “He is too deep.”

Which will take how long?

“I know a great many things,” he says for the second time. “Yet this, I do not.”

Another whimper, softer than the last. John taps the side of his head, tugs at his shirt collar, goes so far as to flick his nose multiple times in a row, as hard as he could manage. Nothing caused him to stir. He could slap him, sure, but in this state he might break apart altogether.

Great. John heaves a sigh. So we just have to listen to this, then? Until he’s, what, done dreaming?

“That is correct. We could always pass the time discussing, my King.”

Discussing what? He snorts. The maggots we just crawled through? No thanks.

“Or,” Yorick adds, “you could always return your hand to his chest.”

What? 

“Your hand,” he repeats, jaw clicking knowingly. “It is the one thing which calms the dreams. I’ve witnessed it many times before.”

You didn’t even have eyes, then, John says sardonically. What could you possibly have witnessed?

“I have no physical eyes now, but I can see you and the master. I was aware then, and in a way, I am aware now.”

In the shrouding blackness of Arthur’s slumber, John imagines the two points of white light where the prince’s eyes once rested staring sideways up at them, awash in tendrils of green smoke. Was this how Arthur felt all the time, kept in the dark, left to wonder how everyone was looking at him? 

Carefully, he puts his hand back in the center of Arthur’s chest. Fingers splay out, one wooden pinky, the rest a thin collection of bruises and scars and broken, chipped nails. That fidgety pulse returns, a bird’s caught wing under his palm. The rhythm remains so for nearly a minute, stuttering and jumping to some melody John couldn’t follow along, and he’s about ready to give it up for nonsensical, stupid advice before he hears Arthur sigh.

It’s not the same troubled exhale as before. This one comes calmer, more even-keeled. As he focuses on his heartbeat he notices it begins to slow, calming bit by bit into a steady, softer pattern. Arthur’s movements drift to a halt. He shifts among the roots, mumbling something too quiet to comprehend, and eventually falls silent.

“He sleeps much like the dead in appearance,” Yorick states thoughtfully. “I believe the dream has come to a close, for now.”

Good, remarks John, at a loss for anything else to say. He wasn’t going to tell Yorick thank you; but it was tempting. The gentle rise and fall of Arthur’s breathing is a placid current, subtler than the new rain beginning to break through the clouds overhead in the night. He could plainly picture him, sprawled out uncomfortably, breeze touseling sweat damp hair, a downward curve in a mouth which always seemed to be frowning lately. Protected just enough beneath the oak, protected enough beneath John’s palm.

Well, at least one of us is content.

“I am much content, King John.”

That makes a total of two. Can you please shut the hell up now? 

“If that is what you wish," the skull says amicably. "Then I will."

It is, John bites. Just thirty minutes of fucking silence. Please.

Yorick says nothing. Relief settles over him as the break distends. Minutes pass until he finally accepts his desire had been properly observed. Crickets sing around them once more.

Sleep well, he whispers, hand firmly over heart. Perhaps we can wait a little longer to get rid of him.

[zane-wanna-sleep]

I saw the time-travel concept lately and then be like 'BUT WHAT IF—! So here sumthing even me myself don't know what it is (no plot, no story line, just sum piece of my mind)

Part 2 , Part 3

⚠️: death

“ He.. –he's dead ”

And that's how the whole world stopped, sound turned itself off into high pitch echoing in Jake's ears.

The prisoner better not lied when he said that 'cause if he did Jake would be mad than grief. So he asked again “ Say that again, say the truth ”

The prisoner cried and through sob he said again, “ I told you! That's the truth, the kid is died! ”

No interrogation can bring more any information from this recombinant and he didn't want to hear any more either. Jake stepped back gesture other na'vi to lock prisoner up again and would let the judging be Tonowari's company. He felt.. numb

The Toruk Makto sighed deeply as he walked away, let his mind fly somewhere else in his memory of old days they were happy and safe in forest, had no idea what will happened. And just enjoy their normal days back then, with Spider be around them.

How could he tell this to his children? How would they react to this news? How could he even face them again after this and what he has done?

..

.

And their reactions weren't different from what he expected, Neteyam froze lost in his processsing thought, Kiri cried, shout, yell along with Lo'ak who wasn't much difference from his sister and Tuk, oh his baby Tuk, she was all confused but can understand that her brother Spider would never come back. And they can't go see him again also.

Then it's happened, Neteyam started his words, his hash and full of dreadly hatred words, “ I believed you, even though I always knew I shouldn't have ”

He spat as if there's venoms in his thoughts “ You said he would be okay, weren't you? ”

His sharp amber eyes stabbed Jake

“ And the next thing you say about him after that day is... This?? ” ow that's hurt, really “ What you going to do now? Forget it and continue this living like nothing has happened and our brother just died ”

“ That's ENOUGH! ” Neytiri shouted instantly after his last sentence and everyone went silent, just for a moment though, and before the kids can open their mouths to continue their protest, she beat them “ Don't talk to your father like that, what's wrong with you, Neteyam you've never be like this ”

That's boiled up Neteyam's blood even more but this time it's Lo'ak who answered back then Kiri who calmed her sob and let out her rage, Neteyam join in again try to used all reason to make his mate understand. Tuk was just cried she didn't know what to do or who she should seek comfort from until Neteyam calm himself, not his mind, a little enough to scoop her up to whisper reassurance.

“ Then we will fix this ourselves, we'll take a revenge for him ” Lo'ak announced his purpose with his most serious face and his kids quickly agreed, ignored Neytiri's protest completely, which sent shivers down to Jake a bit

There're shout and shout and yell and cry and shout again, that's a chaos and he wish everything was not real, that everything was just another very, very bad dream of his and he will wake up soon. Wake up to see his family happy with Spider again.

The chaos endded with Tonowari's warning he totally forgot that it's late at night by now and they're bothering other villagers by their loud voice. He apologized and tried to wave off the Olo'eytan's concern about their situation, it may not effective due his exhausted, wet-tear face but at very least the bigger na'vi willing to leave them, for now though.

When he turned back to looked in their marui, his heart fell when he couldn't find any of his children insight and let out a long breath he didn't know he was holding when noticed they're just made a dog pile in the corner, though when he or Neytiri try to get closer Neteyam and Kiri would give them a dreadful glare, Lo'ak would slightly hiss and Tuk whined softly. His mate said when he tried to assure Tonowari they've tried to sneak out, thankfully they at least still sleep in the same marui as him tonight after everything.

That's hurt him, a lot, he want this bad dream to its end so that he can pulled them into his arms again. So he made up his mind, if they need their time he he would give them as much as they need. Jake let exhausted get over him and dragged him to sleep, or please be awakeness to peaceful day.

And yes he had to wake up, the sun shone brightly hurt his eyes forced open to meet familiar ceiling he didn't doubt at first but when he stepped to outside he saw forest surrounding him and others marui on tree nearby

Jake froze there, what is happening here, he had went insane or this is another dream of him being in delusional??

“ oh Mr.Sully, ” the voice said differ from some he heard just not long that called him Olo'eytan and there's only one person who called him that, “ I came here for Lo'ak and Kiri but uh.. am I disturb you? If so I can leave ”

Jake took a deep breath before looked down, his breath hiccup when he saw the boy, and...

What in the world happened here

Spider looked young, he of course young you skxwang hes a kid, too young for him. Looked like a 10-or-so years old, Jake wasn't sure but he sure that this isn't right, Spider is sixteen, almost seventeen, for Eywa's sake.

So why is he looked like this can some one please explain?!

But with that innocent wide eyes of Spider, he couldn't scream his heart out for any explanation.

[peck2neck]

hiiii. heres the allohema logs from the wyatt dies au

putting it all under the cut since its preeeeetty long. the first two were written back in january while the third one was written recently

dunno what else to say soooo enjoy :]

Allo.Hema LOG_1

It's been about a day since I first discovered that Wyatt had gone missing. I don't think I ever could have seen it coming - things were fine a few days ago. I went over to visit, but he was more cheerful than usual. He was finally starting to open up, I think. Hell, I even managed to make him laugh, something I assumed that he was incapable of. He gave me a present before I left and I went back for the day. I wasn't able to visit for a while after, things get pretty busy during the holiday season but I managed to sneak out just after new years. But... He wasn't there. In fact, there was nothing but rubble. Charred metal lying limp around where the feint memory of a shack had been. I searched for hours to no avail. I couldn't find him anywhere, and I'm starting to believe that maybe... he- ...nevermind.

I brought Microwave back to the lab with me. It seems like she wasn't around when it.. happened. I checked her and she appears to be unscathed. I doubt I'll be able to keep her here for long, though. As soon as someone notices she's here I'll get in trouble and she'll get rehomed. I feel bad for the thing, she's just been staring at the door all day. It's obvious she wants to go back, but i can't let her - she doesn't know that no one is waiting there for her.

I should really throw his file away - I have no need for notes about Wyatt anymore but I... can't bring myself to do it. Not right now, at least. I'll keep them for a bit longer - just in case. Tomorrow I'll sneak out again, just one more time. I need to be sure. I need answers. It just doesn't make sense! I'm the only one who has had contact with Wyatt for YEARS, he basically confirmed it! Unless I had been followed? I doubt it was an accident, either. He may be arrogant but he sure as hell isn't stupid. It just.. doesn't add up. I'll watch my back tomorrow but I'm not sure what else I can do.

Allo.Hema LOG_2

I fixed up the flowerbeds while I was out there today. He never let me anywhere near them before, but someone has to tend to them. On that note, its been about over a week now, and there's still no sign of him. It would seem I have no choice but to believe that he's gone.. however I just can't. I said that I'd go back one more time, but for the past few days I've been returning over and over, desperate for a something, anything.... nothing. I've been tidying a few things while he's been absent - might as well pass the time. Some of his belongings seemed to survive, so I'm going to take them back to the lab with me - until he gets back, of course. It's pretty calm out here, all things considered. It's... quiet, there's a clear view of the sky and a slight breeze at my back. I suppose getting out of that building for a while is doing me some good.

I still haven't fully decided what to do with Microwave. No one has noticed that she's here, surprising considering I ordered so many cat toys.. ahem - I've been considering keeping her, to be honest. Wyatt cared a lot about Microwave, and I'd feel bad just.. giving her away with no guarantee that she'll be safe. Besides, she's taken a liking to me. My jacket is covered in cat hairs.. I hope no one is allergic, because I'm about to run out of spare ones.. More annoyingly, she keeps knocking everything off of my desk, even my tungsten cube! I used to wonder why Wyatt's tools were scattered on the floor, but I guess that's why. I don't mind the company, though. She curls up on my lap while I'm doing paperwork and I can hear a feint purr each time. She's adorable.. but I should get her to stop chewing the wires.

Looking back, he always seemed to be worried about me, specifically what my job was like. It always confused me why seemed so pushy about it despite him being so abrasive, though I slowly figured out why. We even talked about it one day, and I managed to assure him that i'll be fine. I'm already very aware of what the higher-ups think of me, and i've never trusted them for a second to be honest. I know they'll attempt to decommission me the moment I stop being... useful to them, but what's stopping me from leaving? I could always pack my things and leave the night before - information always gets back to me somehow, so I'd know. They'd never find me if I lay low somewhere, I've already removed that damned tracking chip ages ago, and I could continue my work for free, for those who need it somewhere else. Huh. It doesn't feel like a bad thing to consider, actually.. Hah, guess he was right. He knew what he was doing when he gave me that bag, I suppose.

I'll think about it. Maybe I could find some information out there, a lead to what happened to him - or maybe I'm getting ahead of myself.. I'll bide my time and bite my (metaphorical) tongue.

Allo.Hema LOG_3

I left. After 4 months I finally bit the bullet and.. ran away, i suppose. I'm currently laying low in Wyatt's old shack- what I could salvage of it anyways. The charred ground seems to have been washed away by the rain, but this place is still somewhat in a state of disarray despite my attempts to fix it. About a week was spent packing my things, going back and forth between my office and the scrapyard to drop off my stuff. I have enough supplies to last for a while on my own before I'll have to find some way of getting new ones. I'm not sure what I'll do after that.. but i have more important things to worry about at the moment. Microwave is with me, too. I made sure to stock up on food for her, though Wyatt always managed to get some for her so I doubt I'll have to worry too much about it. She seems glad to be back in the scrapyard, but she keeps searching for Wyatt. I guess we're both in the same boat.

The reason I left.. is because I found a lead. I spent all of those months trying to find something and for once I finally did. I think I've found what - or who - may be responsible for Wyatt's death.. or rather his disappearance. I knew he couldn't really be dead. Surely he's too stubborn for that. My research leads me to believe that theres.. someone behind everything that's happened to him. The issue is that I don't know how to locate it. All of my research for nothing. Again. But I still have to try, I can't rest knowing that he's out there.

I've never really tried.. building anything. I've watched Wyatt do it plenty of times and he made it look easy so it cant be THAT bad, right?? I have his old tools, so I guess I can practice by properly fixing this shack. All I did earlier was slide some scrap metal sheets on top of each other and called it a day. He always seemed to passionate about making things, even if he didn't want to admit it. Most of his belongings were salvaged scrap that was repurposed into something new. Surely I could do the same. It's starting to get darker now. When was the last time I saw the sunset? It's much more beautiful than I remembered. I guess not being stuck inside all the time really does have its upsides. I don't like my jacket being covered in dirt though, I'm not sure how I'm going to clean it.

I have an idea. I'm not sure if it will work, but i think it's worth a try. If it's successful, I might be able to get some answers. This may take months, even years to finish- but this creation will be what I need to find it. To find answers.

I have to get answers. I have to. I will find him.

[fandomfaeofveryfewf4cks]

Spoilers for Our Flag Means Death finale.

I just needed to talk things through as a crew.

So, I already posted something about how I felt about Izzy's death immediately after watching the finale. Now that I've given myself more time to mull it over though, I'm not quite as satisfied with the ending as I thought. But I think I know why I'm not exactly angry about it either.

I think I just see it as an open ending for next season? Like, I can see how Izzy's death brings parts of the story around full circle. (Mainly in Ed growing out of being Blackbeard who wasn't really Blackbeard without Izzy Hands.) However, after thinking about it some and reading some other people's thoughts about it, it doesn't really work for bringing Izzy's story around full circle, does it? No, really, does it? I'm still not entirely sure.

On the one hand, I've seen people talk about how Izzy represents piracy and piracy is coming to an end, so it makes sense for him to die with piracy. With his talk with Ricky about how they may die, but they'll live on in other ways, it makes sense.

On another hand, I also see people talking about the fact that Izzy survived a suicide attempt (potentially for the reason of protecting the crew) only to end the season saying he wants to die...

This choice just makes me a bit queasy because it invalidates some of the hope I've had building up with every episode I watched, especially in season 2, where Izzy goes through the bulk of what I feel is (at least mostly) such an amazing character arc.

On a third hand, I saw someone saying that Izzy should captain the Revenge while Stede and Ed go off to run their inn. I had thought this was going to happen too until I started seeing the foreshadowing for Izzy's death and started doubting that theory.

Part of the reason this makes so much sense is because, firstly, Izzy runs the ship already. Plus, he's changed his priorities to be about the crew.

Remember in season 1 episode 9, when the crew is planning to mutiny against Izzy and are trying to decide who should be captain next. And Oluwande says,

"It's gotta be someone we can all trust. Someone who's got the whole crew in mind. Not just themselves."

Izzy didn't make a good captain in that episode because he still didn't trust them, they didn't trust him, and he was doing everything for himself.

In season 2, none of that is true anymore.

The crew DOES trust him. He DOES think about the crew first and foremost. And, we even get to see him learn to trust the crew as well. Learn that they see him as not just a part of the crew they have to deal with like in most of season 1, but a crucial part of the crew and a person they all care about.

In short, it really would have made so much sense to make him Captain.

"Okay, but why do you think his death is an open ending? Death is typically a decidedly very closed off ending."

Ah, I see the point I keep losing is back.

How many times has someone been "dead" only to come back later. How many times has IZZY "died" to come back later. Granted, Izzy going through this multiple times is part of what foreshadows the idea that he's going to not come back this time, so it's possibly just false hope to think he'll come back (assuming we get a third season).

But think about it. Izzy has died. Stede gave up his pirating dream, which seems how likely to stick? And Ed thinks he's going to be able to work a customer service job? And both Stede and Ed think they'll be good at running a business they don't know jackshit about? Ed has proved to be lousy at working a "simple" life. Ed's subconscious said so. Pop-pop said so. Even Jackie sees this as a "wish I was a regular dude phase." Also, Stede has proved that he can be a decent pirate. Zheng said so. Spanish Jackie said so. The entire Republic of Pirates said so. The Pirate Queen said so.

I guess I just have a hard time believing the creators of ofmd couldn't bring Izzy back somehow and turn out a new plot for another season if they wanted to.

At the end of season one, Ed and Stede resign themselves to a future that is not ideal for them and Lucius "dies."

At the end of season 2, Ed and Stede decide to try for a future that is arguably also not ideal for them (it's just less angsty than season 1) and Izzy "dies."

I dunno. I guess what I'm saying is, it makes enough sense for an ending, but not this story's ending. And this show actually managed to make me feel things in my mucky rustbucket of a heart and gave me hope like not many things do. I'm just not ready to give up on it yet.

. . . . .

Maybe they didn't want to make Izzy captain because then if/when Stede and/or Ed come back wanting to be Captain, they'd have to decide how to make that work? But that wouldn't be too hard to figure out, right? I mean, they already decided a ship can have two captains. Why not 3?

Here's some of those posts I was talking about:

[tcfkag]

2024 and the Return of the To-Done List

So, after a year during which (a) our daughter ran full-speed (literally) into the trying two's, (b) I had multi-focal pneumonia that resulted in a week or two in the hospital (including a brief sojourn in the ICU), (c) I had bizarre, seemingly inexplicable seizures for the first time ever [which meant I couldn't drive for six months...right after we moved to a semi-"rural" town...for the northeast that is], (d) had an acute kidney injury, (e) had several bouts of unexplained pitting edema in my legs, (f) started a new job that I actually really like, even if there is a steep learning curve, and (g) lost my Mom after a long battle with mild to moderate dementia/Alzheimer's that then dropped off a cliff into end-stage dementia in less than six months (depending on how you count it), and (h) just generally felt like I was never managing my physical or mental health as well as I could or should be, I'm going to try to make some changes. These aren't resolutions because I truly think that New Year's resolutions just set you up to fail. Instead, I'd call them goals. Or, at least, hope that I want to support with action as much as I can. While still giving myself grace knowing that I can and probably will mess up along the way. But, the first step is that I'm going to try to bring back a kind of journaling-like activity (since I suck at journaling) that my old therapist recommended when I was feeling like this before. Each day I make a list, generally on Tumblr for at least a tiny modicum of peer pressure, and I just make a list of everything I've done that day. No matter how big or how small. As she put it "make it your base assumption that each day, you will do absolutely nothing, so you get credit for everything, even things as simple as showering. I frequently restart these lists when my depression and anxiety have gotten bad enough that I know I'm not taking care of myself, mentally and physically, so a big part of my goals are (a) to move more [in whatever form that takes], (b) eating healthier, and (c) to take care of several medical/dental appointments that I've been putting off for way too long. The beauty of the list is that, a lot of the time, I ended up doing stuff BECAUSE of the list. So that I won't be staring at an empty page as I try to make my list each year.

Things I'm proud of today...so far:

when we took Peanut to the trampoline park to burn off some of her "no daycare today suckers" energy and this time, I bought a jump pass for myself. I only made it ~30 minutes but it was a great work-out. 10/10 would recommend.

I took the dogs for the "long" trail walk out to the back of our property,

I did a core and flexibility routine this morning,

I decided to take one for the team and point out to my Uncle that the nostalgia he feels about Aunt Jemimah as a syrup mascot isn't as important as the company making money off the likeness of a woman who died 100 years ago who was used as a stand in for the generic idea of what an enslaved (or recently freed) Black woman did or should do, and (finally)

this one is a few days late, but not only did we drive 12+ hours to visit my in-laws for Christmas, but we also stopped in NJ in both directions to pick up Monotasker's Aunt who is 80-years-old, hard of hearing, and in the early stages of dementia or Alzheimer's and I didn't even lose my shit at a single person...even the ones who deserved it.

Happy New Years everyone!

"May the best of your todays be the worst of your tomorrows." (Jason Mraz) And even if the worst of your todays are the best of your tomorrows, I hope you can still find your way out and through by the light of the moon to guide you.

[jess-writes-things]

Nightmares and Daydreams

Author's Note: This is a quick idea I had from a sudden urge to write, it is coming straight from my noggin and I am a little rusty, I haven't written anything in about two years. I'm making this as a y/n, I will be using myself for reference but feel free to insert yourself in place as you read

Trigger Warnings: death, maybe hints to innuendo, mentions of SA, mentions of PTSD; undiagnosed but obvious, nightmares, trauma, health issues, fluffiness, big age gap between Dean and y/n but both are legal consenting adults, etc etc (like I said, straight from my head)

Summary: (this is after the finale and after The Winchesters) Dean Winchester thought he had died after the vampire incident and gone to Heaven, found a universe he could save; turns out that was only partially true. (Imagine Sam and Dean as old men in this gif)

"Dean, Dean, calm down! Please....please calm down!"

"Calm down!? Calm down Sammy!? Are you friggin' kidding me!? How the Hell am I supposed to calm down!?"

"I...I don't know Dean! Just-.....please, she's upstairs and she's been having trouble sleeping"

That sentence was enough to do exactly that, calm Dean down, at least for a moment. "Okay-," he wipes his face while he paces after he had just knocked everything off of the table in a fit of, well he didn't know, rage, confusion maybe. "Tell me everything again? Start with, so I didn't die, I wasn't impaled by some inbred vamps, I didn't go to Heaven. My heaven, anyway. That didn't happen? That was all a dream? While I was there, I searched other universes and and I found one, and I found mom and dad before we were born and I saved 'em Sam! I saved all of them....did any of that happen?"

"Well you were impaled, because of the vampires, that happened, I thought I lost you...well you were in a coma for, a very long time-," Sam swallows a hard lump in his throat. "You were in the coma for fifteen years Dean (this is fiction lol), everyone, the doctors, my wife, mom, they all told me to let you go but I couldn't Dean....I couldn't pull the plug, I couldn't do it...."

Dean takes a long moment to respond, with so many things rushing through his head, "so....it was all....a dream? Wait, your wife? Sammy, why? Why didn't you let me go? I-You were there!!"

Sam quickly brings a finger to his lips to shush Dean, "please keep it down.....I don't know..."

"You were there, you had grown old and your kid, your son, he was a man...."

"Maybe you heard his voice, he's almost fifteen and he comes to see you all the time. They both know all about you. His name is D-"

"Dean....yeah, I know....," Dean smiles and with nothing else said the brothers bring themselves in by their heads for the longest hug they had ever had, "well, story checks out...you are an old man," Dean chuckles next to his brother's ear. "Yeah, just turned 52," Sam laughs as they let each other go

"So, wife, son, you did make it to old age," Dean smirks, "pick it fence, good ole' djinn dream huh? And I.....I have a daughter?"

Sam nods, "she's just a little older than Dean Jr..."

"Sammy.....how? I don't...."

"Her mother was named Y/N....," Sam knew it may take Dean time, "you weren't really together, officially....."

"Y/N," Dean was trying his damnedest to remember, "Y/N....when you said she had trouble sleeping it-something told me to let her...but why? I don't remember-what's her name?"

"Rhiannon, she's beautiful Dean and she is an amazing girl. She's smart, loves to read, she's already thinking about college and things are looking good," Sam tells him proudly and both of their faces are slowly covered with big toothy smiles

"Yeah? 'Course she is, Rhiannon,huh? Fleetwood Mac," he smirks, "I've missed everything .....," Dean has to take a seat

"Dean, don't start doing that.....she must have left that down here," Sam reaches over in front of Dean to grab the book from the table.

"May I see it?" "yeah, yeah, sure," Sam passes the book to Dean who lets his rough finger tips graze over the cover which says Bridgerton: Romancing Mr Bridgerton, he lets his fingers drift to the top of the book where a white and floral ribbon is marking a page. His brows furrow and he blinks down at it

"Why is she not sleeping?" He moves his eyes back to look up at his brother

"I need you to hand me the book first because if it's ruined I'm a dead man," Sam says and chuckles nervously, which obviously sparks suspicion on his brothers face.

"Sam, why is she not sleeping?"

"Honestly, I don't know.....Dean and I protect her and look after her but something must have happened, we let her go on a date alone for the first time a few weeks ago and she hasn't been sleeping well since but as hard as we ask, she won't tell us if anything did"

Dean's nose begins to flare and his eyes go dark with where his mind wanders to, "I want to talk to her-," he stands and shoves his way past Sam who rushes up the stairs after him

"Just wait-let me tell her you're here...," Sam pleads and Dean nods in agreement, that was reasonable. Sam knocks with his knuckles and there isn't a call of approval from his niece so he waits and tries again, while holding his brother back.

"C-Come in," the voice is barely audible, Sam slowly opens the door a smidge and steps in after gesturing for Dean to wait and take deep breaths to calm down as if he were flying, "Hi Sweetheart, you okay?" "Just another one....," she nods. "Rhi, please, tell me what happened?" A moment of silence passes, causing much anxiety to Dean outside of the door. "Alright well, there's some big news....your dad....he woke up and he's back....he's outside of the door, he wants to speak with you...." "Okay," Sam steps out and let's Dean come in

Dean didn't know if it were possible for him to be anymore nervous or slow, but, he did know the moment he laid eyes on the girl sitting up in the bed exactly who you were. It all rushed back to him. You, Y/N, you were the one. He also knew why he felt the need to let her rest, and why his mind immediately jumped to the conclusion it had when Sam said what he did. He does his best to make himself smile and he can feel it quiver, he waves, spots a chair at a desk and sits against the wall. He tries to say hello but she beats him to the punch.

"Hi, it's nice to finally meet you," she gives him a genuine smile, your eyes twinkled at him from the moonlight coming in the window

"Hi....," he feels a bit of ease, "you....left your mom's book downstairs," he says showing her, still holding it. "Thanks," she giggles, "that's one of my favorites"

"Yeah? It was one of hers too, it was weird though....you used to hyper fixate on certain genres, uhm," he clears his throat, "Post apocalyptic dystopian society, specifically the Hunger Games, she really liked that one, and this one called Humans, Bow Down where there were these robot people and she liked fantasy, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, things like that. So.....this one....I remember when she couldn't put it down...."

"Yeah? She didn't like romance?"

"Not particularly," he laughs a little, "I think she liked the drama in this one, and she liked the characters, she said most romance books she couldn't read with a straight face because the....parts-nevermind, she thought the....wording was funny"

She laughs, "don't worry, I already know all of that stuff. I haven't done any of it, don't freak," she laughs, he breathes in relief, "oh thank Jack," he laughs.

"You......you are....so beautiful and you look so much like her, I saw you and everything came back," he admits

"Yeah? What do you remember?" She scoots over and taps next to her, "come sit, I can't sleep"

"Yeah....," he slowly comes over to sit next to her, "we need to talk about that...."

"Tell me what you remember?"

"Don't do that, don't try to avoid the subject, shit you are our kid....,tell you what, I'll tell you if you tell me," he looks at her

"......Fine....," she agrees reluctantly

"Okay," Dean leans his back to sit up against the head board and drifts into his memories of Y/N. "Well, we weren't officially a couple....and hey, I'm sorry I've missed everything..."

"There's no need to be, couldn't be helped, you were in a coma and she was dead," she shrugs and leans back as well.

"She's dead?" Rhiannon simply nods, "when I was born," she says casually

"Damn it, I'm so sorry, I should have known better with her health....I didn't know she was-" "It's alright, I've had a safe, happy life filled love and all the mushy shit with Uncle Sam and Auntie and Jr"

".........One of the last times I saw her.....we would sneak away and spend nights together.....well, I woke up one morning and went to see her because she was near where we were and when I walked into the motel room, I remembered she smelled so good. She had just gotten out of a shower, her hair was still dripping wet and she had put in this hair stuff she used, I think it was for frizz, but it smelled so good it was Garnier, and it left her hair in loose curls while it was wet. It was draped over her shoulders-"

-Flashback-

"Dean? That you?" You ask, hearing the door open to your room.

"Yeah," he comes over smiling and crawls up onto the bed, placing a soft kiss to your lips with his plump soft lips. "What're you doing?" He asks, laying beside you, wrapping a arm over you. "Wait, Y/N, baby, what the Hell are you listening to?" He asks, a look of equal parts confusion what could possibly be disgust, you weren't quite sure but had to laugh because it was so cute. "You smell so good~," he buries his nose in your hair and neck.

"Thankyou, and I'm reading," you had Harry Potter in your hand and there was another book by your feet. "Ahuh, and what are you listening t-is that Paint It-is that ACDC? Not that I'm not so proud of you in this moment Princess, but, you hate ACDC"

You roll your eyes, "I never said I hated them, I said they only have a few songs and all of those are just one song they change the words too, still they're good. This is the Wednesday Addams cover from the show, it's perfect ambience for this part of the book"

"Okay, what?" He blinks and shakes his head in confusion, "I think this is the age gap again, how did I get a smoking hot, super smart, 26 year old?"

You smile and peck his lips, "because you're perfect and I have both mommy and daddy issues. This song is perfect because the fat lady was just scared out of her painting by Sirius Black and they can't find her"

"I'm just going to smell you now," he buries his nose again and takes big whiffs as if your scent is oxygen and runs his fingers along your skin on your arm and your new satin pink pajama set, a tank top and shorts with butterflies, "Where is the back of your shirt?"

"I don't know, someone stole it, I didn't notice when I bought it-Dean"

"What is this?" He holds up the book by your foot, "well I love the show and this one is different, I can excuse the smexy stuff from being lame and boring because it's a period piece and I love the drama and the characters," he shakes his head and tosses it aside before returning to his antics

"Dean," you bite your lip and move his hand from his antics, even if it's the last thing you want to do

"I love your hair, it's like Rapunzel's in Tangled, it's like chocolate then if it's dark or wet it looks black like Baby and if the sun hits it it has red highlights and your eyes too, they change to golden in the sun like honey, they're bright vibrant green when you cry.....and dark, they draw me in"

It's your turn to raise a brow at him this time but you're physically incapable, your brows just come together instead, "Dean, I ha-"

"Ah~," he throws his head back in frustration and answers his phone, "Sorry.....I gotta go," he kisses you and you knew it was a real emergency because he practically bolts out of the door

"Dean wait-!"

-Present-

"She-Y/N, she used to have nightmares of memories almost every night, she wouldn't be able to scream, would just bolt up....she didn't like to talk about it," Dean twiddles his thumbs, glances over at the kid, "so I got worried when Uncle Sammy told me you were having trouble.....your mom's were about her parents fighting.....things like that......but," he chews his lips as another memory takes over

-Flashback-

"I am all for helping if I can Dean but this is one job I can't help you with!" You tell Dean and then turn back to the ghost you were fighting. "You! What is it huh!? Shame!? Is that it!? You can't just haunt people and kill them because of what happened to you!! You just-," you storm out and go to Sam, he gave the best hugs and he was waiting at the car. He grabs you when you run to his chest and holds your head, cooing you. He gives Dean a confused shrug when he comes out

"Y/N, what the friggin Hell was that?" Dean asks

"NOTHING! NOTHING! SHE SHOULD HAVE JUST LAID THERE, PRETENDED TO SLEEP AND NEVER SPOKE OF IT!! OKAY!!"

"Hey......wait...that girl was moles-"

"I know! I was too"

"Who?" Dean asks you, concerned

"Okay when?" He asks when you don't answer

"My sister and her boyfriend, I was fifteen," you get in your car and storm off

-Present-

Dean gulps and tries to think of what to say, "Your Uncle Sammy said it started after a date...."

There was that silence he heard before from you

"Did they try something?"

"How did you know?" She looks at him

"......I remembered something about your mom.....what happened?"

"......the date went well.....we were coming home when he pulled over and he started touching me, I didn't like it....so....I did something I shouldn't have done"

"What's that?"

"I took my knife, the one Jr gave me, and I put right up between his legs....and I said stop it or I will call my uncle, take me home....so he did, I guess I scared him, he brought me home....so nothing really happened but I've been too scared to tell anyone because I could get in trouble...."

Dean pulls her to his chest and kisses the top of her head, "I'm so proud of you, but never think you will get in trouble....."

She nods, "can you tell me more about her?"

"Yeah, but enough for tonight....get some sleep," he kisses her head and tucks her in then closes the door as he leaves the room

"Well?"

"She told me what happened and thankyou Sam," Dean hugs him again

"You're welcome? Dean, what was causing the nightmares?"

"She will tell you when and if she's ready, but thanks to you and my nephew she's alright so thankyou....."

"Do you want to rest?" Sam asks feeling exhausted

"Dude, I think I've rested enough for a bit," he pats Sam's arm and trots downstairs, flopping into a chair and reading the Bridgerton book

"Dean, what are you doing?" Sam smirks at him around the corner

Dean shrugs, "looking into what Rhi is reading to make sure she's set for daydreams"

"Huh?"

"Don't worry about it, I'll see you in the morning"

[dorokora]

Chapter 14 Episode 7 Part 2:

We start with Oscar’s backstory. Oscar was a person who made a name for himself in the theater world at a young age. Possessing splendid writing and rhetoric, and family lineage, he creates meaning in fiction. The stories he spun had an irresistible charm that made those who read them believe. Oskar's writings had many followers. Those who believe that the "fiction" he writes is the truth of this world. Many people dance to his writing and the pleasure it brings. Everyone imagined that he would hide his true face with a mask and live in "fiction". And behind him is the Entertainers, as the guild master who organizes the members. The stick-shaped "Sacred Artifact" that he carries is something that draws letters in the void and makes everyone believe that it is the truth. It is also the baton of the "privilege" that the Entertainers is given to attach and detach the roles. He always has a fearless smile on his face and continues to act stylish in front of his guild members. We flashback to when he and Loki first met. Loki is criminal who was left behind in many other prisons and was sent to Entertainers guild in the end. Loki starts going off on Oscar about how he always hides his true self behind fancy clothes and etc because Oscar can’t stand his bare self and why he wears a mask. It may have been the first time Oscar had met someone who should not have been so public. Loki was the first person he admit to that he couldn't show his true self. After that, Oscar frequently visits Loki in the dungeon. Then he started showing off his own work and the guild's plans, and demanding Loki’s reaction. Oscar began to seek bare words from Loki, without pretension. He knows Loki is addicted to bad guys. Alone in the Yurakucho Opera House, Oscar takes off his mask and mutters. I guess it's a kind of "imprinting" that makes you believe that the person you meet for the first time is an irreplaceable guardian. The irreplaceable person who gave him something he didn't see before. Or maybe, if he follow his style, maybe he’s an addict who can't forget what he learned for the first time. Oscar needed him anyway. As a base for his “self-certification”.

We next cut to Duo who begins to clarify the relationship between MC and Mononobe while performing a simulation using the his sacred artifact. Kyouma Mononobe, a teacher at Shinjuku Academy. The observer and guardian of the "Trophy" in Tokyo. But the problem here isn't how the "trophy" perceives Mononobe, it's the other way around. In other words, what did Mononobe, Solomon's terminal, think of the trophy? The trophy dies no matter how many times you replay this Tokyo loop. If you were "observing without doing anything", what was Mononobe’s feelings? If you were on the sidelines knowing everything about what was going on in the past.

We cut to Loki who tells Oscar those who claim that "They see things from the other side" are drowning in a childish sense of omnipotence, and are thus caught off guard. Even though there's no difference if you're just looking at them from one side. Oscar ask Loki what did he do. Loki tells Oscar that he certainly has a knack for persuading others to believe that "fiction" is true. However, who insists that the truth is "fiction", is in the realm of fraudsters? At least. If this were a trial, it would be inevitable to lose. Oscar ask why does he mean and then has a realization. Loki has handed over all the "bare secrets" Oscar gave him to Ahura. A secret hidden by the entertainers. A secret that was hidden even from the rulemakers. Even the words Oscar desperately hid that he couldn't expose to anyone. Oscar ask why him. Loki tells him that he’s the one who put his heart into someone like him.

We cut to the other dimension with Maria. As we get narration about the original Maria. "Maria". A woman who devoted herself to charity and destroyed herself. To her who had no name, I gave myself a name, A woman who gave her identity and died. "Maria", who once gave her a name, gently embraces her just like that day. The smell, the expression, the touch, everything is just like that memory. Nyarl shows up again to gloat. Nyarl knows pain alone cannot break Maria's heart. And he knows that joy alone won't break her either. So Nyarlathotep came to do both. Back to Loki, he tells Oscar that he wants to see everyone's ruin. Including Oscar’s destruction. He wanted to strip away the empty lies. This is Loki’s way of showing love. Oscar then slumps over in disbelief. Loki then introduce himself to MC. He tells MC he knows there profile better than they do. Omniscient Solomon's alter ego, Mononobe. And they also followed the familiars and came all the way here. He tells MC Mononobe knew everything. But kept silent about MC, what do they think of that fact? “Is he toying with me?” Have they ever thought about that? What does MC know about "Kyoma Mononobe"? Is it really worth believing? Loki just pours out words with his tongue as if pouring poison. Battle start!

We next cut back to Maria. She’s still fine despite how much Nyarl tries to break her. Maria, who had seen all of Jacob's past loop memories," laughs at Nyarlathotep. She was a helpless child that day. A lonely child who doesn't know how to cry. The original Maria was the first person to reach out to her. After that, she met many people, and parted ways. Back then, she couldn't stand on her own, but now she can walk with the support of many people. The one who gave her the first time was that person, the one who became her cane when she couldn't stand. She will never forget that moment when someone who was a stranger supported her as a cane. At that time, she was her everything. With that alone, she can walk ahead of this “road”. If you only see what is there, you will lose sight of what is not there, but if you only see what might not have existed, you lose sight of what might have existed. If what that person said was a lie, she will continue to lie from now on. So that one day she can become someone else’s cane...she will lie until the very end. She carried the weight of "everything" on her back on behalf of her or you or someone else. Maria tells Nyarl she was really happy to meet him and thanks him. Our friends are waiting outside. I'll walk...how about you too? Nyarl is pissed.

Back to the fight, The Sacred Artifact of Oscar's cane, it was the commanding baton of the management guild's management privileges. During the battle, it fell from the guildmaster's hand and rolled to the floor with a hard, cold sound. The boundaries between front stage and backstage collapsed. And then, chaos descends upon of Yurakucho.

[froggylop]

Here, have an essay I wrote like 2 years ago idk lmao

“As a child, you either think about your future too much or not at all. It can clog your brain and make it numb, or youre deemed stupid and not ready for life.I thought too much and yet I still wasnt prepare for what would come.

Evil in the form of earth, I will always call it. It was horrible. It was July 10th, 2023, and I was wandering the school after hours while my brother was in band. I have to admit, It was almost peaceful, for a while at least. Honestly I would have continued walking all day if I had the chance.

As I passed by a door that read, “Staff Only”, the ground under my feet began to shake just slightly. I assumed I was just passing by a room with some machine or something and shrugged it off, but the farther I walked I realized that the shaking did not calm. It didn't even stop until I exited the building.

I thought it was over and went to check the news on my phone, But it was really just the calm before the storm. Almost as soon as I let my guard down I was thrown to the ground roughly by far, far worse shaking than the one before it. I started coughing up blood, but I would soon learn this to be the least of my worries. The earth had no mercy and continued to shake.

It would stop for a few seconds then continue, hardly calming down. I was afraid they would last forever. I began to call out my brother’s name as loud as I could, The word coming out in a slur from the blood. Only around 2 minutes after the shaking started, I started hearing the sound of cracking behind me. I turned around quickly and realized what was happening.

The school was falling apart, Cracks spreading throughout the bricks and concrete. I watched helplessly as the only school I’d known fell to the ground, taking the teachers, workers, and everyone else with it. It felt like the world was going to collapse. I couldn't even stand up, how would I escape? I was beyond dizzy, covered in ash and dust, my eyes burning from smoke.

Smoke?

I looked up and saw the red flames. Then I saw a person, climbing out of the fire, and though my vision was blurry, I could see they were cut, bleeding, bruised, and broken. And now? They are dead.

It may seem, at this point, that I am the main character. I am telling this story, I am describing hell, and I will never come out of it. But let me assure you, before this story continues, that I am not. I am only a student, watching as many people die around me. The main character is a hero, but I only need to be rescued.

I dragged myself towards the football field,but the smallest glimpse of it told me the band wasn't there. They were inside the second building, which had collapsed along with the first. I screamed out my brother's name so loud, I probably damaged my vocal cords doing so. I screamed out to my mom, who was probably having trouble staying alive in her hospital bed in another town not far from here, to my dad who was probably doing something stupid before he died, and to my aunt and uncle who were probably already dead.

All at once, It stopped. It almost seemed quiet, if it weren't for the screaming of people around me. I had to stand up, I had to run to them. But I couldn't. I couldn’t move. All I could do was bring my knees to my chest and cover my ears, screaming along with the dying, yet I was alone. It seemed I always would be. I was selfish and stupid. I wasn't going to save the others, so how could I expect to be saved?

I didn't, not anymore. I expected nobody to rush in, to pick me up and hold me and wrap me in a blanket. I expected to die in this position, with my hands over my ears. I couldn't tell if I was still screaming, I was numb and my voice mixed with the others. I only wished for one thing, That I had seen the huge slab of concrete flying down towards me. So with that, and all thereof,

I died.”

[yinses]

fractured kingdoms

| he made you a princess ... it was only right for him to play the white knight |

gojo satoru rating: t

a/n: so i had an idea. this is more of a premise for a potential series that will doubtfully be chaptered in order. i have terrible luck with that. more or less snapshots of this dynamic to see where it takes me. i always write best on new episode release days. 

gojo satoru used to enjoy his job- hell he was practically born for the role of exorcising curses. as a first year, along with his fellow classmates, he thought he could change the world. 

it was an optimistic goal that he never quite lost sight of but his mindset had changed over the years. having a best friend turn on an entire organization coupled with gatekeeping elders who should have died last century could do that to anyone's ambitions. 

so when gojo accepted a case, he did it but the task was conducted his own way on his own time. 

it was the least he could do for an institution who took advantage of his inherited ability. 

he was already planning out his order for the little pastry shoppe around the corner as he cleared a plethora of curses making themself home in the old abandoned fish packing plant. the acrid and heavy atmosphere had cultivated a miasma of stupidity it seemed, enticing the youth to come seek out nonexistent mysteries and claim their own death instead.

proclaimed haunted grounds like this were always prevalent breeding grounds for the weaker lot who couldn't chance hunting alone. the pack mentality made them look stronger than what they were. 

it was all just troublesome work for him. 

gojo quickly surveyed the mess that lay before him- bodies broken beyond identification. showing them to the morning families would only increase the amount of negative energy already floating around the area. it would be better to just shut down the perimeter completely for proper purging. 

that was something ijichi could manage. 

his hand twitched for his pocket to order such when he felt a lingering weight of cursed energy. this essence wasn’t like the others- in fact he didn’t recall even noticing it until now. 

with a huff he slouched into a relaxed stance, infinity tightening around his body, “now, now. let’s not make this harder for ourselves. i have a tight schedule after all.” if he was lucky, he could make two stops instead of his scheduled one. he’d like some nice bobba tea to go with his treat.

gojo waited a moment longer, willing to make it fair for once. but then nothing happened. these might be his least favorite curses, those born from cowardice. 

he fingered the edge of his blindfold in contemplation. taking it off may be overkill, but something about the situation insists upon it. intrigued by the shift, he pulls the material down to his chin and takes in the factory in its entirety. 

for a second there was nothing. then blue eyes flicker upward.

“oh wow. pretty, pretty.”

something in the rafters rustles, and a small thud sounded to his right as a figure landed gracefully less than a foot away. 

it was daring, to say the least. most curses avoided his aura, not willing entered it. but the most unsettling thing was that it spoke.

the level of cursed energy emanating from the form did not match with the intelligence it was portraying. it could be mimicry, a set of learned phrases used to trick and lure. but even known when and how to use them-

not to mention they’d commented specifically on his eyes. 

“it’s rude not to thank a lady when she offers a compliment.”

gojo couldn’t resist turning at that. 

it was a lady; perhaps more correctly a girl- possibly in her early twenties. there were no errant limbs or monstrous editions. she looked normal, almost human. maybe even an amateur sorcerer if he’d just focused on the energy she emitted. 

a low grade shaman may have actually mistaken her for one. 

that would have been a shame.

gojo brought his hand over his heart in an apologetic gesture,” sorry, it was your own beauty that stopped me short.”

her lips pulled back and the white of her teeth sent a thrilling chill down his spine. 

how interesting indeed. 

he motioned vaguely to the remains,” am i to assume this was your court?” curses congregating deceive humans was one thing, but to kneel to a higher authority.

an unregistered special grade.

that would be problematic.

her eyes raked over the scene with disinterest,”oh that shit show? as if i would associate myself with them.”

“well that’s not very nice. most princess have better opinions of their subjects.”

her smile widen. oh, she liked that. 

gojo carefully braced himself to remain undeterred as she took a casual step forward. instincts urged him to eliminate it on the spot but curiosity begged him to learn more. 

as if she felt his hesitancy, she stopped. “princess, huh? will you kneel for me too?”

he laughs at that, “oh i don’t think my superiors would appreciate me doing that.”

there is a brief period of silence and gojo waits with baited breath for the fighting to start. she was obviously retaining her cursed energy, eventually it would overflow to its true capacity. part of gojo actually would regret silencing this one, it wasn’t often that they were this interesting. 

when it appeared that she wasn’t going to make the first move, he sighed,” well, unfortunately this has gone on long enough-”

“what kind of sweets do you like?”

gojo blinked dumbly. 

“ah, that depends, i suppose. there is this really nice bakery not far from here that makes great manju.” his next destination after he got rid of this curse. why was he even drawing this out? he didn’t feel particularly compelled or threatened, to be frank. 

“i’ll have to try it then!”

gojo is left to stare at the palm extended outward. 

“can i have money please?”

                                                  ⚘  ⚘  ⚘

against his better judgement, gojo offers to buy them for her instead. 

seated across from the curse, he watches her quietly as she ate through two orders with ease. he also watches the floating civilians around her. not all human were immune to curses, occasionally one with a weak sense would notice something. 

but the clerk didn’t miss a single beat when taking her order.

“um… are you going to eat that?”

gojo looked down at the reason why he’d come out this far in the first place and back to the empty plate in front of him. he didn’t think twice before giving her third serving in the last twenty minutes. 

“how interesting.”

she looked up mid bite,”wha?”

curling his fingers into a fist to lean into, gojo gave her his full attention,” do you know what you are?”

“well, i’m a girl. opposite of what you are,’’ she explains snidely. for someone who had been given a free treat, she was a bit of a brat. 

more importantly, gojo wasn’t detecting any blatant evasion in her speech. it … wasn’t possible for her to actually believe that she was human. perhaps she could be a misguided curse, but what mortal girl would hang out with such monstrous friends. she hadn’t even denied their existence in the factory. 

gojo decides to cut to the chase,” we both know you’re not a regular girl.”

she brings the fork to her mouth,”i thought we established that i was a princess?”

oh, this was bad. gojo really should have just finished her before. he should not have invested this far. and certainly should not have bought her mangu.

the only thing worse than an unorthodox gojo, was one equipped with a fresh idea. 

[rogue-durin-16]

AN UNUSUAL YEAR (Part IV/V)

Summary: After having little to no interest on girls for five years, Fred suddenly feels the need to nag the shit out of a certain witch, completely oblivious to the reason behind it.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Slytherin!Reader

Genre: fluff (+ enemies to lovers)

Taglist:

An unusual year: @natural-hearts @manuosorioh @lumos-solemn @westyywifee @whiskeyn-rain @warlock--protection @gossip-girl-ecr @fandomscombine @birdy944 @28cnn

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog

Warnings: none

A/N: BOI IS THIS LOOONG. I knew this part would get a bit out of hand since I wanted to write all of this in the same chapter but still damn. Anyway, enjoy <3

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part V

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

Here's a variety of Yule Ball outfits for y'all 👀:

Outfit 1 outfit 2 outfit 3 outfit 4 outfit 5

"You sure you don't wanna come to the ball?" I asked Mathilda, climbing down the dormitories' stairs.

"No, I'd rather stay..." Her mouth opened in agape when she saw me. "You look... Wow."

"Why, thank you." I replied, walking towards my best friend with a smile. "I'll probably be here before 10:00 pm." I assured her, squeezing her shoulders. "And we can gossip a bit."

"Already looking forward to it." Mathilda patted my hand with a chuckle. "Have fun, will you?"

I nodded and waved her goodbye before leaving the common room.

"Bloody hell, Y/l/n!" George, who as promised, had been waiting for me at the entrance of the dungeons, shamelessly though harmlessly, checked me out. "You clean up nice, huh?"

"Of course I do." I walked to meet him at his spot. "You don't look so bad yourself, Weasley." With his chin up and a proud smile, he offered me his arm, which I gladly took, and we headed off to the Great Hall.

A fairly big crowd had formed at the doors, mostly conformed by people who were waiting for their partner slash group, and some not-so-subtle gossips.

While I intended to go straight into the Hall, George tugged me away from the shortest path, claiming that he wanted to 'have an overall view'.

I reckoned he had something else in mind when we passed by Fred and Angelina, both immersed in their conversation until my friend caught a glimpse of us.

"Damn Y/n!" I held back George, who was playing dumb for some reason, and made my way to the couple. "You look SO good, doesn't she, Fred?" She nudged her partner, giving him a knowing grin.

"I guess you look nice." His nonchalant reply was accompanied with a shrug.

"She looks breathtaking, actually." George's correction left me staring at him speechless. "Just like Angelina."

Oh well. "Yeah" I agreed, clinging onto my partner's forearm, finally getting a vague idea of what was going on —not quite there yet, though. "Angelina, love, you look astonishing, right George?"

"Right." I could see my friend's cheeks reddening ever so slightly whilst making eye contact with George.

"Shall we go in?" I suggested, already heading to the gates.

FRED'S P.O.V

'Breathtaking' was the exact word I was thinking about when Angelina asked me about Y/n, and George knew it.

The girls probably didn't catch how my jaw dropped when I saw her, but my brother did.

He knew it.

"Go with her, yeah?" I requested to Angelina, gesturing at Y/n and at the Great Hall simultaneously. "George, can I have a word with you?"

He nodded and whispered "Go on, ladies." before walking to me. "What is it, Freddie?"

"What's your game?"

"I think I don't follow." The fact that he had the nerve to speak that blantant lie angered me more than I would ever admit.

"Why is she your date?"

"Why is she not your date?" He retorted, triggering a gasp from me, followed by a scoff. "You're not only completely oblivious, you're also a coward."

"Beg your pardon?" Was the only thing I could bring myself to say; I blamed the shock caused by my brother's nonsense.

"AND you stole my date." Oh, so this was about Angelina. "Now if you excuse me," he patted my back a couple times. "I'll go dance all night with MY absolutely breathtaking date."

"Have fun with Slytherin girl, Georgie." I replied, sprinting to reach him. "I'll go dance with our beautiful Angelina."

"Tosser." I could hear him say as I jogged into the Hall to reach the girls.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

READER'S P. O. V.

George probably wasn't the best dancer, but he clearly knew some moves, and made me want to stay on the dancefloor for a good couple of hours, having a great time.

That's one of the reasons why I decided to help him out.

"Oi!" He leaned on and I stood on my tiptoes, holding onto his forearms so I could speak directly into his ear. "Wanna dance with Angelina?"

"Maybe" He slightly pulled away and both our gazes spotted the girl, dancing madly with Fred. "Yeah! Yeah I do!" He shouted so I could hear him over the music, now that we were apart.

"Alright, come!" I tugged his hand and together we narrowed the already short distance between them and us.

The timing was perfect, almost as if it was meant to be like that; the moment we reached them a slow song started to play.

"Angelina, may I steal your date for a dance?" I requested, not waiting for Angelina's nod before letting go of George and tugging Fred's hand. "You can have mine." I spared my friend a teasing smile and a wink while I pulled her date away from George and her.

"Stealing me away, huh?" Once we were far enough, I spun around and held up one of his hands, his left one falling on my waist and my right one on his shoulder. "Eager to be near me again, Y/l/n?"

"So I'm not 'Slytherin girl' anymore?" I raised my eyebrows at him with a smirk on my face as we swayed.

"You heard that?" All from sudden he turned somehow self-conscious.

"This may come as a shock to you," I peeked over his shoulder to check on George and Angelina. "but you two are quite loud."

"I didn't mean it." His word had way more regret than necessary for something as stupid as what he was sort of apologizing for.

"I know." My eyes returned to his just in time for him to made me twirl and pulling me back to him, this time a bit closer than we were before. "Asking Angelina out was a shitty move." I pointed out.

"You won't believe me," he began, "But I completely forgot." I snorted. "I swear!" His eyes widened and both our mouths twisted into an amused smile. "She was near me when Ron asked me who I'd be taking, and I didn't think twice."

A soft, genuine laugh escaped my lips; one which made the boy in front of me smile.

"Is he pissed?"

"Earlier? Very. Now?" I gestured behind Fred, urging him to look at his twin brother, now kissing Angelina. "I don't think so, no."

This time it was his laugh that made a smile tug the corners of my mouth.

"You do look breathtaking." He spoke quietly, almost in a whisper. "Dunno why I didn't tell you earlier."

"Because you're a twit." He chuckled, shaking his head with his eyes fixed on our feet. "You look very handsome, though."

"I am very handsome." He corrected me, looking at me again, now with that damn smug face.

Out of every possible comeback, I chose the one that he expected the least. "Yes, you are." His cheeks turned mildly red and his grin fluttered; I counted it as a win.

"You're beautiful." He returned the compliment, after a moment of silence, to which I responded with a confident 'I know'. "So cocky."

"That makes the two of us." I pointed out.

Silence fell among us again. Comfortable silence, though, one that I could get used to.

Another twirl, another pull to stand even closer.

A small lean was enough for my head to rest against his chest. I blamed tiredness for the need to do that, but I didn't find anything to blame for the way his heart was pounding against his chest, nor for that strange feeling in my stomach.

As soon as he took a deep breath, we both eased into each other's arms, giving up the tension that our bodies had held.

We stayed like that for a while, until I looked around and realized most people had left, George and Angelina included; the dancefloor was now almost empty.

"I don't know what time is it," I spoke, letting my fingertips trace random patterns over his shoulder, dancing down to his chest.

"Me neither" he spoke, making me sway.

"I reckon this is the longest we've been together without jumping down each other's throats." I observed. "And it's probably the longest—"

My words died when, without any kind of warning, his lips landed on mines.

His right hand unconsciously gripped mine for an instant with such force, almost as if it was holding onto it for dear life.

Before I could even think about kissing him back, he retreated back to his previous position, offering me a smile I couldn't decipher accompanied by a wink that made him look relaxed an confident.

All façade, I thought to my self, as he said nothing —no teasing, no cracking jokes; he just kept slowdancing, his hands now more loose, seeming like he was prepared for me to run away; his gaze was also casted down and his cheeks flushing.

I would have teased him if it wasn't for the way I felt my own face burning.

I did let go of his hold, and he subtly stepped back, lowering his arms.

Just like me, he didn't have time to react when I pulled him down, cupping his cheeks for a proper kiss, which he returned instantly.

I felt both his hands on my hips as he leaned on, drawing me against him as close as he possibly could, while my hands left his cheeks to circle his neck.

All of a sudden I remembered that I needed to breath; I broke away, leading my hands to his shoulders, where I could feel how heavy his breathing was.

"What's just happened?" I mumbled, my eyes fluttering open to look into his.

"Dunno." He confessed. "Did you like it?"

"Very much." I replied instinctively, not bothering on thinking it through.

"Wicked." He muttered against my lips before going in for the third kiss, this one more heated.

With a hand on his chest i slightly pushed him away, scanning the place around us before asking, "Wanna go for a walk around the castle?"

"Please." His response was so immediate that we both had to chuckle at it.

"Wicked." I mocked, earning a playful push from him. I my fingers interlaced with his and I led the way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

FRED'S P. O. V.

"Shhh!" I playfully shushed Y/n's giggles, loosely hugging her from behind with my lips pecking her shoulder as we went downstairs in the direction of her House. "You don't want us to get caught, do you?" I let go of her waist just when we found ourselves halfway through the corridor.

"Merlin's beard—" Y/n, who had turned to face me, widened her eyes at the sight of me under the dim lights of the dungeons. "You're a mess." She whispered between quiet laughs, raising her hands up to my face to try and remove some of the lipstick stains she had left all over me.

"Don't you dare laugh, woman." I feigned pain, only making her giggle more. "You made a mess out of me."

She held my chin and moved my face from side to side, checking if she had made it any better. "What am I supposed to do with your neck?" She huffed.

"Place a couple more kisses there?" I suggested with a smirk, fixing her hair as best as I could. "Or a bite, you choose."

"I'm serious." Her thumb gently rubbed the side of my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

"Let them there for people to see." I was joking. My tone was playful. I didn't really mean it.

It was just a joke, right?

Her hands slid down my chest before leaving my body. "I'd rather not to." She replied absent-minded, making me realize that maybe I wasn't joking; maybe I wanted people to see— to know.

She didn't, though.

"Hey, everything's alright?" She questioned, concern making its way to her face when her eyes found mines.

"Of course." I replied— no, I lied. I lied to her and to myself. "Just tired."

"No wonder why." She laughed at her own innuendo, but the only thing she got out of me was an unenthusiastic half smile. "I'm gonna head back now." She added, probably sensing something wasn't right. "Get some sleep."

"I'll go have a shower." I informed her, stepping back in the stairs' direction without breaking eye contact.

"See you in a couple of hours." She responded, mirroring my moves, but towards her common room.

I nodded briefly before heading up to my own House, craving a cold shower to shake her voice off my mind and detach her touch and kisses from my skin.

[mimisempai]

The evidences of our love are everywhere

Summary:

Thor is worried about his little brother's happiness and spies on Loki and Mobius in a more or less subtle way.

Tumblr request : Thor spying on Loki and Mobius.

As usual I got carried away and added most of my favorite tropes :p

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33254275

1643 words - Rating G

"I know it, that you are watching us Thor."

Thor wanted to protest at first, but even though he hadn't known Mobius long, he knew the man was perceptive and there was no point in trying to lie to him.

He sighed, "I admit it."

"I suspect you have no malicious intent," Mobius said kindly, "but I would like to know why."

Thor thought about what he would say in response.

He could see that his little brother was happy. That he had changed, or rather that he had become the best version of himself.

And this was partly thanks to Mobius, but he needed to see it with his own eyes. In their daily lives. So he had been watching for every moment he could spy on them during their stay in Asgard.

**********

One evening, he had overheard a scene he never thought he would see.

Mobius with a brush in his hand was sitting behind Loki and asked him softly, "Should I start brushing your hair?"

Loki nodded and closed his eyes, as if he already knew he was going to like it. Like it had become something familiar.

Mobius started at the bottom, taking care not to pull, then slowly worked his way up. After a while, Mobius' fingers replaced the brush and it was clear that Loki was enjoying it. He did not startle or protest. He turned his back to someone and let them touch him. This showed how much he trusted Mobius.

Not so long ago, such contact would have been unimaginable. If it was anyone else but Mobius, Thor thought, Loki would never have allowed it.

Thor could hardly tear himself away from the scene since he was so fascinated.

Mobius stopped and his hands slid over Loki's shoulders and Loki held his head back with a gentle smile on his face. Mobius leaned over and kissed him gently.

Thor thought it was time for him to retire.

**********

" Tell me candidly, is there anything in me, except my ugliness, which displeases you? Do you object to my birth, my temper, my manners?”

“No, truly,” replied the princess; “I like everything in you, except”—and she hesitated courteously—”except your appearance.”

Thor had just entered the living room of Loki and Mobius' suite and stopped in front of the incredible scene he had before his eyes.

Loki was lying on the couch, his head on Mobius' lap, Mobius had one hand in his hair and in the other hand a book that he was reading aloud.

Thor held his breath, because the two men had neither seen nor heard him.

Mobius continued reading.

“Then, madam, I need not lose my happiness; for if I have the gift of making clever whosoever I love best, you also are able to make the person you prefer as handsome as ever you please. Could you love me enough to do that?”

“I think I could,” said the princess, and her heart being greatly softened towards him, she wished that he might become the handsomest prince in all the world. No sooner had she done so than Riquet with the Tuft appeared in her eyes the most elegant young man she had ever seen.

Loki sneered, "Of course, to be happy, they both have to be beautiful and smart. I know it's a fairy tale and doesn't fit reality, but frankly, I'd never read that to my kids."

"Sweetheart," Mobius said softly while stroking Loki's hair soothingly before continuing, "Listen to the end, I think you'll enjoy it more."

Loki harrumphed, but remained silent as Mobius continued, " Some people have said that this was no fairy-gift, but that love created the change. They declare that the princess, when she thought over her lover’s perseverance, patience, good-humour, and discretion, and counted his numerous fine qualities of mind and disposition, saw no longer the deformity of his body or the plainness of his features. However this may be, it is certain that the princess married him; that either she retained her good sense, or he never felt the want of it; and he never again became ugly—or, at least, not in his wife’s eyes, so they both lived very happy until they died. Morality, all is beautiful in those whom we love, and those whom we love are witty and intelligent"

Loki turned on his back and looked at Mobius.

Thor stepped back into the doorway, he was no longer able to see but he heard Loki, "Mobius, it's kind of like the two of us in the end," he chuckled before continuing, "except that we're both princes. But what I mean is that you have seen beyond what I have shown the world."

Thor heard Mobius nod before answering, "And you, Loki, have opened my mind.  So there is nothing to stop us from living very happy until we die."

The only thing Thor heard again before walking away was his little brother's undoubtedly happy laughter.

**********

Thor had not often had the opportunity to see Loki in his Jotun form. He knew that even after all this time it was still an extremely sensitive subject for his brother, so he was surprised to see him like this, sitting on the balcony railing of their suite, looking at the sky.

He was about to join him, when Mobius appeared next to him bringing what appeared to be some refreshments.

When Loki was aware of Mobius' presence, he began to revert to his Aesir form. But Mobius protested, "Loki, you know you don't have to hide from me, Sweetheart. If you want to take on that appearance, I have no problem with it."

And as Loki returned to his Jotun appearance, Mobius put down the tray and approached him, gently touching his face, as if he was used to doing it, knowing that if he lingered too long, the cold sensation would be too much.

Loki said in a voice Thor didn't know, "Do you really not mind touching me while I'm like this?"

Mobius shook his head and replied, "No, the only downside is that I can't touch you or kiss you like I want to, but otherwise I have no problem with this shape. I told you before, I love you, I love everything about you and it's part of you so I love this form too."

Then Mobius sat Loki down on a small bench that was on the balcony, put a pillow on Loki's lap, and lay down next to him resting his head on the pillow then said softly, "And you see, even when you are in this form, it is possible for us to be close."

As he walked away, Thor thought to himself that he would not soon forget his brother's amazed expression.

**********

The next time, Thor had first heard just laughter, as he went to knock on the door of Mobius and Loki's suite.

"No, Mobius! Stop it! You're scratching! I don't want you to kiss me if it scratches like that!"Then Thor heard Mobius reply in a sulky voice, which was quite rare, "Loki..."

"No, no, no your itchy skin will not come in contact with my delicate skin!"

He heard Mobius cough before he replied, "Then would you please shave me?"

Then the two men seemed to be gone, and Thor couldn't help but be curious and slowly opened the door. The living room was empty, but Thor heard voices that seemed to come from a small adjoining room. He knew he shouldn't, but he peeked through the half-open door anyway.

Mobius was sitting with a towel over his shoulders, shaving cream on his cheeks and chin. Loki had rolled up his sleeves, and was holding a razor. He leaned over to Mobius, and with a serious look on his face asked, "Do you trust me?"

Mobius answered firmly, looking him straight in the eye, "Intimately." before stretching his chin forward and closing his eyes.

Thor once again baffled, discreetly turned back and left their suite.

**********

"I'm sorry Mobius. Of course I had no malicious intent. I guess I just wanted to make sure that Loki was happy. It was something I didn't expect to see. I think I wanted to see it for myself, I'm sorry I was kind of a stalker, I-"

Mobius stopped him by putting a hand on his forearm, "It's okay Thor, you don't have to justify yourself. I know Loki's life, his whole life, so I understand perfectly well the need to reassure you, but I can promise you one thing, that I will always do everything to make him happy. That will always be my priority. Loki is the only family I have so I will always take care of him."

Thor nodded visibly moved as a voice echoed behind him, "You see, brother you don't have to worry. My happiness is truly real."

As if to prove what he had just said was true, Loki approached Mobius and put his arm around his waist before kissing him on the cheek.

"This man Thor, is the person who allowed me to change what I thought was my destiny, he saw the good in me, and in doing so I finally believed that I was capable of doing good."

Thor answered softly, "I always knew you were capable of doing good, little brother, but I'm glad you believe it now too."

Then he stepped forward and took the two men in a strong embrace before stepping back and adding, "Mobius, there was only one thing that was wrong with everything you told me before."

Mobius and Loki looked at him in surprise.

Thor added with a gentle smile, "You said Loki was your only family, but that's not true, it's not true anymore. Welcome to the family. We are your family and you are ours now."

_________

Series of Oneshot : Together, for all time, always

Fairy Tale used : Riquet and the tuft, oft underrated or shallowly interpreted. Shaving scene, inspired by Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle shaving scene in CSI

As always, bear with me as it is not beta'd and english is not my native language I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless🥰

[imaginationintowords]

Folklore [song series]

epiphany

Modern Day AU! Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff; Steve Rogers x OC!Reader

Plot: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s new album Folklore. The story follows the timeline of Bucky and Elizabeth’s life throughout the years

[warnings: death]

word count: 3168

Age: 21 Year: Sep. 2015 Location: Brooklyn, NY

"So I was thinking, godparents," Bucky spoke up. He and Natasha were currently finishing setting up the baby's nursery in their new apartment.

They had found a nice two bedroom apartment in Brooklyn, much to Natasha's dismay. Bucky thought it was the perfect place to start their new little family. It was also about a 20 to 30 minutes drive to Bucky's work and University campus. His mom and stepdad had even offered to help them out financially for a bit, just as long as Bucky continued on his path to graduate with his Masters in Music Technology in the Spring.

Bucky had managed to finish his bachelor's and masters program in just the span of 4 years, a whole year earlier than originally planned. He was proud of himself, if there's one thing he hadn't screwed up yet, it was his education. He had fully devoted himself to his education the last four years and it clearly paid off. He had also managed to get a good paying job at a studio as an engineer. He had his whole future all planned out, the pregnancy might've been a curve ball at the beginning but with the help of his family and therapist, he was handling it all so well.

"Oh you don't need to worry about the godparents, I have it all figured out already," Natasha tells him as she folds baby clothes, "I picked Abigail and Dylan."

Natasha on the other hand had decided to put her education on hold. Deciding she wanted to be a stay at home mom, Bucky constantly made sure that that's what she wanted. And she insisted every time that she was "made to be a stay at home mom". So Bucky had to reluctantly allow her to make that decision. 

Which was one of the reasons why his parents had offered to help out for at least the first year or two, they had known their son was already stressing about finances, and trying to respect Natasha's decision. They figured two years would be a good enough time for the couple to build up their savings.

Bucky didn't like the fact that his parents were helping out with money, but he knew him and Nat wouldn't have been able to make it just on is current income alone. At least not until after he graduated, his boss had already promised a raise once he graduated, but that wasn't until May and the baby was due in the next two weeks.  He promised to pay his parents back every cent they gave him, but they told him to just focus on being a good father.

"Abigail and Dylan?" He questioned.

"Yeah," she shrugged her shoulders.

"The same Abigail and Dylan that showed up to the baby shower high, and proceed to get drunk, because and I quote 'babies are so boring'. That Abigail and Dylan?"

"Come on James, they were just joking, plus baby showers aren't necessarily the most fun thing in the world," she rolled her eyes.

"Can we at least each choose one godparent?" He suggested, "You can have Abigail as the Godmother and I can choose The Godfather."

"Like Sam?"

"No, not Sam. Steve," Bucky tells her.

"Oh, then no," she simply said, turning her back to him to continue putting clothes away.

"What's your problem?" Bucky asks annoyed, finally having enough of her attitude, "This entire pregnancy you've been against everything I've suggested."

"Hey, you got to choose Brooklyn," she turned around pointing her finger at him.

"Yeah because I couldn't fucking afford Manhattan Natasha," he stressed, trying not to raise his voice at her, "You didn't want to know the gender of the baby? Fine. You get to name the baby? Fine. You choose the color scheme of the nursery, fine. You choose the hospital. You choose the apartment. God damn Nat, I haven't done a single thing but pay for everything."

"And I thank-you for that," she rolled her eyes.

"But you don't," he shakes his head in disbelief over her reactions, "You haven't thanked me once. I get that you're carrying our child, and I'm appreciative of that. But god damn Natasha, show me some respect. Show my family some respect!

"You didn't thank my mom, Rebecca, or Keith for everything they've done for you. For us. And I can't keep making up excuses to defend you," he raises his voice a little bit.

"If this relationship is ever going to work, you need to be respectful. You need to stop being so selfish. I get this isn't easy for you, but trust me, this isn't easy for me either. But I agreed to do this. I am stepping up. I want to be a part of my child's life. And I want us to be together and be family," he calms down, "But if you continue to act this way. I won't stay in this relationship."

"You're just going to abandon us?" Natasha asks grabbing her belly, suddenly realizing the reality of the situation.

"No, I won't abandon you both. But we won't be together," he explains, "I will always be in my child's life. I will always be there for them. I'm not going to put my child through the same thing I went through growing up. I promised myself I would never do that."

"So if that means that you and I break up, then so be it Natasha, I'll do it," he tells her, "My child will not grow up in a toxic household."

"Okay," she agrees, tears in her eyes, "I promise I will be better."

"Don't promise me Nat, just show me."

Two and a half weeks later Bucky found himself rushing an in-labor Natasha to the hospital, it was a quick k10 minute drive from their apartment. He quickly called his mom as the nurses wheeled Natasha away, with Bucky following.

Bucky's mom arrives within the next 10 minutes, as the nurses begin to prep Natasha in her hospital room.

Bucky sent a quick text to Steve and Sam, letting them know it was showtime and that he'll call them once the baby is here.

"How's Mama doing?" The doctor asked while entering the room, quickly taking her spot at the foot of the bed to examine Natasha.

"It hurts," Nat cried, as Bucky tried to soothe her.

"I know, but unfortunately you were too far dilated when you arrived, that it's too late for the epidural," the doctor softly explains, "But the good news is I feel Baby's head, so it's time to go."

Natasha looked over at Bucky, completely scared.

"It's okay," he assured her, "I'm right here. Everything's going to be okay."

He leaned down an placed a soft kiss to her lips, helping her relax a bit.

"Ready?" The doctor looks up at Natasha.

"Yes," Natasha nodded, grabbing a hold of Bucky and his mom's hands on either side of her.

10 minutes later, a soft cry was heard in the room. Bucky quickly glanced over to where the doctor was had finished pulling the baby out.

"Congrats Mommy and Daddy, it's a girl," she announced.

"A girl?" Bucky whispered in awe, tears filling his eyes. He looked over at Natasha, who looked a lot paler in color.

"Nat?" He called out for her.

Her eyes fluttered shut, her limbs went limp, and all the monitors started to go crazy.

The doctor quickly cut the umbilical chord and handed the baby off to an awaiting nurse.

"What's going on?" Bucky panicky asked.

"Get them out," the doctor told a nurse, ignoring Bucky's question.

A nurse quickly escorted Bucky and his mom out of the room.

"She's going to be okay right?" He asked his mom, tears streaming down his face.

"I don't know honey," she honestly said, wrapping her arms around her son. She never thought the first hug they shared after him becoming a father would be like this.

She continued to hold him, soothing him as she made silent prayers pleading for Natasha's safety.

10 minutes later. The same 10 minutes it took for them to arrive to the hospital. The same 10 minutes it took Natasha to bring their daughter into the world, the door opened.

Bucky quickly pulled apart from his mom to see the doctor walking out of the room.

The doctor's face was filled with sorrow. Bucky's mom immediately put her head down, already knowing the outcome.

"How is she?" Bucky asked.

"Mr. Barnes, Natasha had a postpartum hemorrhage, due to issues with her placenta," the doctor carefully explains, "Unfortunately, there was too much blood loss. We weren't able to save her. She died."

Bucky immediately broke down, his mom quickly caught him. The doctor placed a reassuring hand on his back.

He quickly pulled away after a couple of minutes, "The baby. How's the baby?"

"She's good. They took her to get checked just as a safety procedure," the doctor tells him, "She's on the pediatric floor. Would you like to meet her?"

"Yeah," he says, then pauses, "What about Natasha?"

"We can come get you to say goodbye once we get her cleaned," the doctor tells him.

"Okay, thank you," he says.

The doctor takes him and his mom to the pediatric floor. The walk was silent. No one knowing what to say. Bucky was no longer crying, but he felt numb the entire short walk. The doctor knocked quietly on a door, before opening.

"Doctor Monroe, this is Mr. Barnes, the baby's father," the doctor said, before stepping aside to let Bucky in, "Mr. Barnes, I'll have someone come get you when it's time."

"Okay, thank-you," he nodded his head.

"Are you ready to meet your daughter?" Doctor Monroe asked, Bucky nodded his head.

"Meet your Daddy baby girl," the doctor said, gently handing the baby over to Bucky.

Bucky looked down at the small baby in his arms. He was instantly overcome with so many different emotions. The doctor walked out of the room, while Bucky's mom watched from outside threw the window.

"Hi baby girl," he whispered, sniffling back his tears, "You're so beautiful. I'm your dad. And boy am I lucky that you chose me to be your Dad. I always imagined this day would've turned out a lot differently. But life sure knows how to throw some real curveballs."

"Your mom would've loved you," he paused, letting it all sink in. His daughter will have to grow up without a mother. No little girl should have to be without a mom.

"I'm so sorry," he cried, as the baby was lulled to sleep, "I am so sorry your mom won't be able to physically be here. I am so sorry you'll have to grow up without her. No one should have to grow up without a parent. And trust me, I know what that's like. But lucky for us, I had the greatest pleasure of being raised by the most strongest and kindest mother. She taught me everything I know. Your grandma is the best lady you will ever meet. Lucky for us because god knows we're going to be needing her a lot.

"But you and I are incredibly fortunate that we won't ever be alone. We have so many people who care about us. You'll have all the female leadership you can ever need. We can do this," he strongly said to the sleeping baby, "You and I. We can do this. And I promise you this, that no matter what happens, you will always have me. You're stuck with me for the rest of your life. My love for you is greater than anything, anyone I've ever loved. My love for you will always be easy and unconditional. You'll never have to prove your worth to me. You're worth more to me than you can ever possibly imagine. I love you."

Bucky placed a soft kiss to his daughter's forehead. The first kiss he will ever give her, but definitely not the last.

There was a soft knock at the door, he gently called for the person to come in.

His mom quietly opened and closed the door behind her, stepping to her son's side.

"She's beautiful," she smiled down at the little baby.

"She really is," Bucky beamed. He looked over at his mom and noticed she was holding a clipboard, "What's that?"

"Birth certificate," she tells him, "One of the nurses gave it to me. They said there's no rush to fill it out. You have time."

"Here, I can do that," he said gently holding the baby out for her to take.

"Are you sure?" She asked, switching with him.

"Yeah, I have a name anyways."

"What is it?" She looked over at the name written down:

Poppy James Barnes.

[flashback]

After that talk Bucky had with Natasha, he noticed a serious change in her attitude. She was beginning to be more relaxed and more selfless. Bucky felt a tiny weight lifted off his shoulder. Hoping that these changes in her personality would stay.

"So what do you think about James for a boy?" Natasha asked one night, as she and Bucky made dinner together in their small kitchen.

"For a middle name?" He asked confused.

"No, his first name."

"Oh," he paused, "I actually have never liked the idea of giving a child their parents' name. I feel like it doesn't really give them a chance to be their own person. If their parent is successful then they feel the stress of always having to live up to that. And if their parent is crap then they're forever stuck with that reminder of that person."

"That makes sense," she agreed, understanding where he was coming from,

"Then how about James for the middle name. Whether it's a boy or girl."

"I would actually really like that," he smiled at her, "I would like that a lot."

They gathered up their own plates, and sat at their small round table.

"So what other names have you come up with?" Bucky asked her as he took a bite of his chicken.

"Truthfully, I haven't found any good names. All the girls keep making suggestions and they're way too out there," she tells him, "I don't want them to have a name that's too hard to pronounce or spell."

Natasha's phone started to ring, Bucky got up to grab it for her from the living room. By the time he handed it over to her it stopped ringing.

"What kind of flower is that?" He asked her, noticing her phone's Lock Screen background.

"The California Poppy," she tells him.

"Why do you have that as your background?"

"Well my mom was actually from California," she says, "She met my Dad when they both went to Harvard. They fell in love, so she decided to stay out here on the East Coast.

"The only clear memory I have from her was all the stories she used to tell me about poppy season. How the color just made everything so lively. Her parents would take her every season. I remember seeing all the photos of her as a child surrounded by all the flowers. We looked a like as children," she fondly smiled,

"She always talked about taking me to go see them, but she and Dad were always so busy. Then she got sick and there just wasn't a way for us to go. My grandparents tried to get some out here but it was too late. I never did get to see the poppies."

Natasha was silent for a moment, letting what she said sink in. She's never told anyone that story before, the memory would always make her sad. But now sitting here with Bucky, pregnant with their child, for the first time in her life her mother's death didn't bring her such sadness. She could smile at the memory and know she had the utmost best time with her mother, even if it was short lived, she knew her mother loved her. And she can't wait to shower that love onto the baby inside of her, once they were out.

"We should go," Bucky says, "Once the baby is here we should go when it's poppy season. Plus it'd be nice seeing Steve and Liz's life out west."

"Yeah, that sounds nice," her eyes teared up, seeing how generous this man was in front of her, "I'd really love that."

"Poppy, that's cute," Winifred smiled.

"Yeah, Nat would've loved it."

"They said if you were ready, you can say your goodbyes," she carefully said.

"Okay, you're good with her?"

"Yeah. Do you want me to go with you? The nurses can watch Poppy."

"No. I'd feel much better if she was with family," he tells her, "I'll be fine mom. I can do this."

He gave her a kiss on the cheek before leaving the room.

"Take all the time you need," the nurse told Bucky, as she led him to the room Natasha's body was in.

"Thank you," he quietly said.

She opened the door for him, and he carefully stepped inside.

He walked closer to the body on the bed. He immediately started crying at the sight of her lifeless body.

"God Nat," he cried, "I am so sorry. We never even discussed the possibility of this ever happening. I never even thought of this happening. God I don't know how I am going to ever do this alone. I never imagined myself ever raising a child alone."

He takes a moment to catch his breath.

"She's beautiful Nat, so incredibly beautiful," he tells her, "I wish you would've been able to see her. Hold her. I'm going to make sure she knows everything about you. There's not going to be a day where she doesn't know about her mother."

"When poppy season arrives I'm going to make sure to take her. Every year," he wipes away a tear, "Oh, I also named her Poppy. For you. For your mom. I promise I won't let you down. She's going to have the best life ever. I'll make sure of that. Thank-you for everything you've given me. I truly did love you. Goodbye Natasha." _________________ Age: 22

Location: CA

Year: May 2016

The car comes to a stop, parking in a spot next to a bunch of other cars. Bucky, Liz, and Steve get out of the car. Steve and Liz grab a few things from the trunk, while Bucky gets the smiley baby out of the car seat. Bucky places the baby into the stroller, Steve had gotten out. The three of them began to walk towards the field of poppies.

"Wow, there's a lot this year," Liz says, "Do you want to take her out?"

"Yeah, I'll grab her," Bucky says grabbing Poppy.

He walked ahead of Liz and Steve, taking in the moment with his daughter.

"Look at all the poppies," he whispers to the almost eight month old. She had a huge smile on her face taking in the sight around her.

She was making some babbling sounds, as if to agree with her dad.

The weather was perfect. The sun shining down on them, it wasn't too hot or too cold. Bucky just stared at the flowers, with a peaceful feeling washing over him. The last few months haven't been the easiest, but he was making it. They both were making it. Being here, gave him the reassurance that he was doing good. He could feel Natasha's presence with him there. As if she was silently saying how proud she was of him.

"We're going to be fine," he said to Poppy, placing a kiss on her head.

[marchioness-caprina]

You Like Me Not?

{ Final Part }

Pairings : Takami Keigo ( Hawks) x Reader

Writing Style : 3rd Person

Warning : Cussing, Stalker Tendencies, Toxic Tendencies.

Word Count : 2947

Read; { Part 1 } , { Part 2 }

3rd Person's POV

A month has Passed. Yes a whole Month has passed and y/n was surprisingly doing well; in the surface at least.

Inside. Not so well but at least she's coping up a lot better than a few weeks ago where she'd often cry herself to sleep, even in the showers. The lingering pain was still haunting her like there's no tomorrow but now she's getting used to it.

After all, First love is usually the greatest and the most painful experience.

Instead of moping around and sulking, she began investing her time and effort into being a Hero. And the effort paid off greatly; her performance was improving and she's proud to say that she's on par with the top three of the class which mainly consists of Izuku, Todoroki and Bakugou.

She was finally getting the attention that she deserved, plus it takes her mind off of Keigo and his jerkass.

However, at the end of the day she felt so empty and devoid of something---someone she longs for. And she will never accept that it was Keigo she was looking for.

But she needs to stay strong and let go of those people who can't even appreciate the little things she does; she won't let them bring her down. No, not when she's finally seeing something big for her up ahead.

Unfortunate as the saying goes ; All good things will come to an end. And for y/n, that is today.

Their class was split in groups for an Activity. Y/n along with Kirishima and Mina and Izuku were paired up to patrol the busy part of the city where crimes are mostly committed.

And guess who their Hero guide is? Yup one of them is Hawks and the other one is Enchanting.

Y/n who had a smile on her face seemed calm on first approach but inside she was cussing her heart out for the terrible luck she's got.

It had to be two of her worst nightmare. How charming.

" You Kids doing fine back there? " Keigo asked, his eyes never leading the road and beside him was a bored looking enchantress.

The two were their Hero guides for today and everyone was ecstatic. Except for y/n.

" Yeah we're good! " Kirishima answered for everyone and y/n was thankful that she didn't have to exchange a few unnecessary words with Hawks.

Her attention was now caught by the Broccoli boy right next to her who was vigorously writing notes down on his notebook.

" Oh my gosh it's the Pro Hero Hawks " Izuku was becoming a mumbling mess as He continued to scribble. His pace was a beyond anyone y/n had ever seen and she was very much intrigued by Izuku's unwavering determination.

" You know Midoriya-san, you're actually really handsome up close" Y/n muttered and izuku froze on the spot; heat rising up his cheeks as he tensed. Slowly he turned to see the h/c haired girl who was smiling at him tenderly.

" I-I-I... Umm... T-Thank you Y/n-san... A-and... You're really handsome too.... W-wait I mean n-not handsome because you aren't a g-guy w-what I meant to say was... P-pretty.... You're really pretty" Izuku gushed out and as much as y/n tried to contain her laughter she couldn't keep a straight face and began laughing at Izuku's Adorable antics.

Izuku was going red due to his rising embarrassment as he began to stutter out another list of explanation why he accidentally said it.

But their little conversation didn't go unnoticed by Keigo and Enchanting.

" Wow, she moves Fast. Better try Harder Birdy. As far as I see it; she's sick of you and look she's a boy magnet. You're gonna lose if you keep this up " Enchantress casually gave her comment and Hawks gave her a narrowed look.

" Shut up miss ' I'm a hundred years old' you better hope she'll be mine by the end of the day, I've pulled a lot of strings to get her here and it ain't easy " Hawks kept a calm expression; his lips tugging up into a smirk as he continued " This was your fault to begin with. If I can't win her over today.... Well you're gonna get wrinkles starting tomorrow. I'm not a very forgiving fellow"

" We'll see Hawks... We'll see "

" Oh, we Will "

" Hey! You two lovebirds better stop flirting and Tell Kirishima here that Cats are better than Dogs! " Mina exclaimed and with how loud her voice was; she caught everyone's attention within her first attempt.

" I told you Mina, Dogs are Manly. And they earned the title of Man's Best friend. They're dedicated and Loyal but I wanna know who you guys will vote for" Kirishima replied as he glanced back at the still very flustered Izuku and A Smiling y/n.

" W-well.... I think I prefer Dogs than Cats... Sorry Mina " Izuku gave Mina an apologetic smile as Mina pouted before turning to y/n.

" Come on y/n you gotta be on my side on this one " Mina pleaded and Kirishima pulled her away.

" That's cheating Mina, don't pull the pity card on Y/n. That's so not Manly... But.. Well which do you prefer y/n? "

" Hmm... Well... I----"

" I vote for Birds. I heard Birds are very reliable companions miss y/n. I assume that you feel the same way? " Enchantress piped in and y/n gave her a raised brow but she managed to catch on to what enchantress was saying.

" Oh? Well I understand the reason why you Like Birds Enchantress; I do too... Well I used to anyways but to answer your question I prefer Dogs... Sorry Mina. I like how a Dog will be loyal to you till the very end"

" Hmm? So you're saying Birds aren't Loyal? " Enchantress chimed and y/n's chuckle made Kirishima, Mina and Izuku shudder.

Her laugh was cold and forced; her eyes landed on Enchantress and a teasing smirk was now displayed on her face.

" Well Enchantress, Upon Personal experiences... Then my Answer is No. Birds aren't Loyal at All" Everyone shivered at her response simply because y/n had took the risk of jumping straight onto a landmine. Because Hawks had a bird based Quirk.

The temperature dropped to negative and even enchantress seemed to be affected by the sudden change of the atmosphere.

" Really Now? You wound me Baby Bird " Keigo's smile was passive aggressive and y/n didn't hesitate to return it.

" Don't call me That Hawks. And stop acting like you know me"

" I'm very Hurt by your words... Especially about your opinion on Birds. I for one am very Loyal "

" Nah, I Love dogs but I also like Bunnies... Take izuku for example. He's cute, shy and smart like a Bunny. Not Cunning, Manipulative and Sly Like a... Hawk" Y/n countered as she placed her Hand on top of Izuku's Head petting him gently.

Her action made a growl rip itself from Keigo's Throat and everyone froze at his aggressive reaction.

" Sure, I may be Cunning, Manipulative and Sly... But you forgot one thing Baby Bird "

" And what is it Hawks? "

" Hawks are Birds of Prey... And They are Very Possessive " Keigo answered, his Fetagers began to Bristow and sharpen; eyes trained on y/n's figure as he slightly lowered his stance.

" Huh? Why would I need to know tha------ahhhhh! " A scream was heard as y/n disappeared from her place as well as Hawks.

Unfortunately she was brisked away by the said Hero at A speed far top fast for the human eyes to follow.

" What the!? " Kirishima , Izuku and Mina who were knocked down on the ground after the Aerial impact of the winged hero were stunned as they frantically looked around for their Female Classmate who had vanished into thin air.

" Let them Be kids " Enchantress muttered as she gestured for the teens to follow her.

" B-but--!".

" Let. Them. Be..... Seriously I don't want to have any wrinkles because of that damn Cocky Hawks .... So let them be or else "

________________

" Hawks! Put me Down! " Y/n demanded, she was brisked away and slung onto his shoulders like a bag of potatoes and now Hawks was flying away and note that they are far from the ground.

" As you wish"

Y/n could practically feel the smirk in his voice and her heart dropped along with her body as she screamed for bloody murder because Hawks was being a Jerk and dropped her in Mid-air.

" Keiiiiigooooo! " Her scream was more of a threat and after 15 seconds of falling in Mid-air she was once again brisked away by the winged Hero who was smirking at her.

" God... I missed it so much when you used to call me by my name and not ' Hawks ' or ' Takami' " Keigo chuckled as he faced the girl who was holding onto him for dear life.

" Ah... Shit I almost died" Y/n hissed as she began shifting in her position, her legs were tightly wrapped around Keigo's Torso, her arms had snaked themselves around his neck and don't even get him started on how hard she was pushing her body against his.

" Easy baby Bird. Don't. Be too feisty with me... I might lose control " Keigo whispered bit he was met with a scowl.

" What is wrong with you? Can't you just leave me alone? If you think this is funny well it's not. I don't want to see or even hear you" Y/n spat out as her heart began pounding in her ribcage from both the adrenaline and embarrassment .

Hawks didn't answer and just gave her an intimidating glare that almost had her shrinking and burying her face on his chest.... Almost.

" Sure you don't want to see me... But really? Leeching yourself on every single boy who comes near you? You're driving me crazy Little Bird. I almost became a serial murderer because of you... Picture this... Pro hero Hawks; the first Hero to Murder a student because of Jealousy " Keigo bitterly laughed .

" Keigo... What the fuck are you saying? ---"

" I'm not done venting!, you think it's fun to mess with my head? Where the fuck were you over the past few weeks?! Seeing another man? While I stayed in my office drinking a huge load of bullshit? Driving myself crazy in that room anticipating when you'd show up again!? And now....now you have the guts to flirt with another man right in front of me " Keigo was pouring out all of his frustration right in front of her and he was far from being finished.

" For a moment there I almost considered the possibility of becoming a murderer... Just because he touched my Girl... He stole your attention away from me... I fucking waited and I resisted the urge to fucking drag you to the nearest alleyway y/n----"

" Cut to the fucking chase Keigo! "

" I Love you y/n! That's what I was trying to say Baby Bird. I Fucking Love you! " Keigo panted out and Y/n was more than speechless.

She didn't know what to feel, she didn't know how to react. After all that? And the effort she made to move on... Now... Now he's being so difficult and telling her he love her?!.

" Keigo, if you think a bullshit excuse like that is enough then you're wrong! Have you had any idea how hard and painful it was for me? How much I had to endure became I loved you? Damn well you don't and you don't have the right to slap this shit right in front of me you bastard! I cried myself to sleep and... And... You... ---" She couldn't finish her sentence when tears began to flood her eyes and was now cascading down her flushed cheeks.

She began sobbing and hitting Keigo's chest which has done absolutely zero no no damage at all.

Keigo's only response was to hold her in place and tighten his arms around her waist; letting her vent.

Of course he was awful to her. He was one hell of a fucking idiot to do this to the woman he loves.

He told her everything, it was true. He barely had any decent sleep and worked his ass off while waiting for her return. He didn't want to carry that habit of being an obsessive stalker. Of course he didn't tell her about how he had stalked her multiple times, he didn't want to scare her. But all of it was true. Including the jealousy part.

" I'm sorry Y/n....i really am--"

" Sorry ain't cutting shit you Jerk! Just when I'm moving on you stomp your way back in! "

" No y/n....don't ever move on. Stay here with me... I know this may sound toxic and shitty as fuck but hear me out... I know it hurts but bare with me... Don't move on.. Stay even if it hurts.. Don't leave me and give me every thing of who you are... No matter how painful it is "

" You selfish prick! Do you realize how greedy you sound! You fucking maniac! "

" I know! I know... But all my life I've been deprived of everything I actually wanted.. I was told to be this and not that... I never had the chance to actually have what I want so please y/n....allow me to be selfish when it comes to you... Let me be greedy and give me You. I don't care if I'm selfish because I'm only selfish when it comes to you.... So please. Beat me up, hit me, stab me... I don't care but just don't Leave me" Keigo growled; angry at his words and his selfish desires bit he couldn't help it.

Y/n who was still sobbing her heart out was listening to every word he had uttered. She fought back the idea of actually giving him a chance. She knew Keigo was sick to the bone but she's even worst knowing that this type of guy had attracted her and lured her to love him.

How... Why is she so soft when it comes to him? Is this how love really is? Because if it is... Then she doesn't give a shit. She wants him too. But she isn't going to make it any easier for him. If he wants her then he better earn her, No more miss nice y/n.

And He wanted her... He needed her and he isn't just about to let her go. He'll hunt her down even in hell.

" Keigo... You.... Ugh... I... Shit... "

" Is it working y/n...am I winning you over? "

" Only because I loved you Keigo you prick "

" Correction You still Love me...so be my girlfriend?"

" Whatever. Just so you know, I'm not saying yes to your proposal. You gotta earn me you fucking retard and it isn't going to be easy"

" I knew you were going to say something like that. And yes I'm ready to make those sacrifices for you, Just... No boys " Keigo smirked as he cradled the girl in his arms.

She still had her arms wrapped around his neck as he landed on one of the very few skyscrapers in the city.

" No can do Keigo... Your Baby Bird here is a Boy Magnet---" Upon seeing how fast Keigo's demeanor had shifted to something more gruesome she shut up immediately and nodded her head.

" You too Chicken wings... No girls for you"

" No can do, your Bird man here is a lady magnet " Keigo smirked returning her words at her.

Y/n rolled her eyes and reached her hand up to paw on his blonde hair; giving them a harsh yank but before she pulled him down, her lips meeting his in a rough and demanding kiss to avoid any form of kinky retort from Hawks.

Keigo immediately responded and took full control of dominance as his lips moved in sync with hers. Rough and passionate, but unfortunately Keigo was getting a little bit handsy; his hands made its way towards her thigh giving it a harsh squeeze but before he could do anything else she pulled away covering his mouth with her hands when he tried to catch her lips again.

" Nuh uh Keigo. We're Going slow "

" Ugh... Nice job being a Kill Joy Kid...tsk.."

" Fuck you Keigo"

" Why don't you do it yourself you Coward "

" Oh I will Keigo "

" Really? I don't mind breeding you right here if you wan---"

" Eww Keigo shut up. I was kidding. I want to be a Hero before becoming a Mom"

" Yeah, Good luck with that because I think you're gonna be a momma anytime soon because you said Yes to Me"

" I didn't say jack shit like that Keigo" Y/n snapped as she began squirming in his hold with Keigo chuckling and laughing at her poor attempt.

" Relax. I was Kidding-- "

" Thank Goodness for a moment there I actually thought you we---"

" Maybe "

" Keigo! "

End~? ♡...............

[ryuzakemo128]

The Angel Of Death

Chapter Thirteen: Almost Unbreakable

<- previous chapter / next chapter ->

A/N: Sorry this chapter has been delayed for as long as it has been. I was extremely close to burning out and I wanted to take a break from it to gather more ideas so I can make it as exciting as I can make it or at least try to.

A/N 2: I have generated an idea of what Red would have looked like before her hair went charcoal grey. Young Red . Little Red.

Chapter Summary: Three months after the events of chapter Twelve takes place. A new threat starts to emerge from a most unlikely place.

Trigger Warning: Angst, Drug usage, Cursing, Mention of Death, Major character death.

"He fucking what?" Red shouted into the phone, "What do you mean he's dead? The fucking idiot dies doing what?!"

"Red, a young man is here to speak to you." Vanya says to her.

Red looked over at Vanya, "Tell him to wait a few minutes. I'm on a call right now."

"Will do Red." Vanya shut the door and told Thomas Shelby that he'd had to wait a few minutes.

Red retuned to her normal shouting voice afterwards. "My tracker and three of my best guys are dead. If you fail to tell me this kind of shit again I will do worse than fire you!"

"I couldn't bring myself to tell you the bad news. I had things come up at the same time and you have so many other people. I just thought it wouldn't hurt you that much"

"My life is in ruins right now and you've come to tell me excuses. I'm sorry you couldn't come to terms that this happened, I'm sorry if it's too much and the last time this happened, I almost died!"

"Galina would have understood."

"Galina would be here if she could and we both know that for a fact that she can't be here right now. We'll talk about this again tomorrow in person this time." Red told him calming down slightly.

"I'll be there Red."

Red hung up and walked outside her little office, "Mister Shelby come on in"

"For someone as highly skilled as yourself, you can do much better than whatever this is." Thomas Shelby replied looking around the small office.

"Be that as it may, I have come to grow attached to it. As you have been told by both Vanya and Ramon, I'm currently under siege by an unknown assailant, I don't know who this person is and I have come to understand it, you're more informed with this type of business at the current moment." Red started explaining her absence.

"I appreciate you coming to tell me this Red." Thomas frowned, "But I fear that it's not something you're worried about."

"Four of my guys are dead, three of them being the few of the better ones. The last one being a tracker that I could trust to find anyone. They're just gone, dead, just like that. I haven't had a full night of sleep since. So forgive me for not being overtly trusting during this time" Red stated staring into the corner of her room for a few minutes.

"Grace wants you there, to protect us both and I have come to tell you in person."

"Don't worry about it, I'll be there in person, out of sight as per usual Mister Shelby."

"Another thing, I would like it if you called me Thomas from now on."

"I doubt I would, it would tarnish the things you've accomplished Mister Shelby. Plus it sounds a lot nicer."

"I still need you at that event, I don't want your guys there. I want you there in person on that day." Thomas responded, as he headed out.

"A promise is a promise, I don't break mine. So do me a favor and keep yours" Red smirked, thinking "I want to fucking collapse into bed right now and cry like a little girl"

As the nights and days progressed further along, Red lost more sleep over so many more of her own guys dropping off like flies. First it was four and now, there has been a total of ten. Both male and female, young and old. All so Red could be there at the formal party in person to protect both him and Grace.

Things didn't go as she would have liked, things should have gone better and now, Grace lied dead due to a gunshot that was meant to hit Thomas Shelby. Red never made it in time to save Grace, but she did kill the Italian assassin instead. Her hands shook incredibly hard, her world completely ruined at this point of her life.

Red felt like she couldn't breathe, couldn't think and let alone stay in the same room of a couple she failed to protect. "I have failed them. I am a failure. I shouldn't be alive right now. I shouldn't be alive right fucking now" Red thought to herself as she walked all the way home, avoiding eye contact with everyone she knew or thought she knew.

"Mother, I hope you know that your daughter has failed everyone that has ever trusted her." Red whimpered, tears forming in the corner of her eyes and hands shaking.

"Mother, I hope you have seen me for what I am" Red whispered seeing her mother sitting near her. Perhaps this was her guilt forming an image or perhaps it was a self defense mechanism inside her brain.

"Seeking out death this way, is beneath you Red. You've faced failure before this and never reacted in this way." Her mother whispered, "there is no way you could have known about that assassin."

"I should have known about that assassin mother, I should have known. Thomas Shelby is a well-known, feared individual and I should have known the possibilities of that assassin slipping in." Red whispered, "Death has surrounded me for as long as I can remember. Took you and father, took my baby and my friends."

"Death is the natural way of life, we both know that and so does your father." Mother whispered, "your father knew it long before you were born too."

"did he know you'd die like that? Did you know that you'd both die that day?"

"Perhaps he did know, perhaps he didn't know. Only god knows the answer to that question my dear."

"You sure about that mother?" Red asked her mother, "are you sure that he has those answers?"

"What should I be doing right now mother?" Red asked her, despite the churning of wind and cold around her.

"You will catch your death out here love" Her mother says to her, looking around them.

"Perhaps I should, Perhaps I should." Red stayed there till the sun went down. "Perhaps I should have died instead of Grace, I would have done my job if I did."

"You are so much like your father in more ways than you realize." She says staying with her.

"That a good thing or a bad one?"

"A mix, sometimes it's good and other times it's bad."

"This time it's god awful. I feel it in my bone mother. Call it what you want mother because I haven't got a fucking clue what to call it."

"I think you do love. I think you do. Just not today," Her mother says sweetly into her ear, "I'm proud of you. Despite of everything that has already happened, I am proud of you"

Red stayed in the fields outside of Small Heath, for the first time in her life. She was afraid, terrified and she didn't want it to show. But unfortunately it did, on her face and in her heart most of all. Whoever decided to take her down, had to be someone she hated or knew incredibly well.

Otherwise, she has a new problem on her hands and no way how to handle it now. If anyone knew her better than Red knew herself it would be Galina, Tanya, Vanya and Ramon. But they went into hiding as soon as Red disappeared that night Grace Shelby passed away.

Red never sold her home, she was still in that little home that made her who she's becoming. Red didn't know what else to do, whoever knew Red would harm the family that held the surname Shelby, if they went through her first and she needed a plan on how to stop that from happening.

[friedloverherringfarm]

The loss of your cat Dear readers, losing your cat is devastating. Meanwhile some people don’t really understand that. Considering they may either never experienced it or they may have a rock as a heart. When our cat dies we can’t stop our tears because such an event we do not expect, we do not think of it, never. But it happens. Whether it was an accident, whether it was a disease. Animals can’t live as much as us humans. And it is a fact, we cannot hope it will live longer than it already has. And I am sorry, I know it is hard and dramatic and that you have your mindset that you were the cause of its death, I know that you feel responsible for what happened, I know exactly what you feel. I have experienced it and it is really devastating and it hurts more than anything, because we grew fond of them and we grew closer to each other every day. And actually I never let it go because there are moments that come out of the surface when I least expect it, reminding me of how much I cherished it. If there is something I regret is not spending more time with it even though we shared a room and a bed and the air together for 3 years. I regret not hugging her more, kissing her, telling her how much I loved her. The difference between me and my cat and others with their cat is that my cat didn’t come towards but I was, and even if I knew she didn’t like me to take her in my arms I still did it because I loved how warm she felt and soft her felt on my skin, and not to forget her smell, I really loved to kiss her on her head, sometimes even biting her cute ears while calling her sweetheart, it may sound a little bit cringe sorry I just really loved it. As well my hands and my shoulders were always scratched by it but I didn’t mind it as long it didn’t hurt to the point I’ll cry.  Even though my parents said to me to stop it scratches you because she hates you or something, I knew better than anyone she didn’t, she just needed to make sure she did not fall and I understood it. When it was scratching me it was never with hate and I could feel it. By the way, I got this cat as my seventeenth birthday gift. I was really happy because I really wanted a cat from a long time ago. And for the first time I fell in love with it, I wanted to take care of it and the feeling of protecting it was invading me. This is the moment I felt like I became a whole new person, I grew in myself a motherly affection and I really kept it until the very end. This cat not only brought me joy but also made me a better person, brought me confidence and love. Since I was in my first year of high school, I started to encounter hardships and was very depressed by my results and this little being just gave me the strength at the right time, helping me to seize myself, to not let myself fall. And already the next year I was getting better results. I was progressing because I had someone to keep company. Don’t get me wrong I had my parents by my side too but the real helper was my cat. And in my last year of high school, I may have been down many times because I still did encounter hardships at school but my cat always helped me, always made me feel better, the strength she gave me was amazing. Each day I felt and really did  felt she grew to love my company too which by the way the best feeling you can get. Finally the day, but before a week before, I was working hard because I had exams coming and my cat was by my side, all good. And the day before my exams, it happened. When  I was finally feeling that everything was working perfectly, even my relationship with my parents was doing really great, my revision was good too, I felt really confident actually and my cat grew closer to me. That day I was feeling happy, there always been days similar but not the same I had days when I felt maybe about seventeen percent happy but the rest I still had worries, though that day I had zero worries and I could imagine myself at ninety or ninety nine percent happy and this was truly a first since my careless childhood. But you know it when everything feels too right something bad happens. Just after I was finally revising for the last time, and went to have a sleep break along with my cat. After sometime my cat wants to go out so I wake up mid sleepy and open her the door. Usually I would take her in my arms, kiss her head while inhaling her smell and even calling her sweetheart and telling her at least once that I love her but that day I felt sleepy from the whole week of revision so I can’t forgive myself that I didn’t do it. Anyway I knew I would see her again later so I went back into my bed and fell dead asleep. After two minutes my heart just doesn't feel right but I don’t wake up. One hour later I wake up, I go downstairs to eat a sandwich and from the kitchen's window I see my mother talking to someone I don’t mind and keep eating. My mom comes to the kitchen and tells me with a sad tone “Sweetheart, I have bad news” my heart already starts to break and I ask her right away “What?” She tells me then that my cat died and that my neighbors happened to see it and they brought her to us liveless. I stood up from the chair and ran towards the garden throwing my sandwich on the grass, my mind was blank and I started to shout Where is she Where is she. My mom appears and points with a finger. I spot her, laying on the grass, not like she always does when she enjoys the sun but like a being lifeless. I’m breaking into tears. I can’t control my sadness. My baby, my happiness is gone. An hour ago I was sleeping alongside in my bed and then the next moment I saw it dead. I started to caress see if her paws wouldn’t move. Maybe she was still alive but nothing. Her eyes were open but she wasn’t answering even if I touched her tail. I knew she didn’t like it. After crying until I couldn’t anymore, I went to my parents and told them that we needed to bury her. I didn’t want her to be like the dead cats left on the left side of the road lifeless and starting to fade. My dad agreed to come with me, he is the one who made the hole and I was the one who put her in. First I said my farewells, I held her in my arms and told her how much I loved her and kissed her on her head for the last time. My hands trembling. I put her in the hole and left so my dad could bury her. The day I felt the happiest became the worst day of my life, I felt guilty for a long period and was completely at loss of appetite and everyday I would look at her pictures and saying each time “I will never forget you” The reason why I came to reveal everything here is because I don’t want people who experienced the same tragedy to feel lonely, I want to call a community that will warm up and help those people to regain strength bit by bit. At first it feels hard to reveal everything and every memory of it  hurts but trust me sometimes saying it out loud it heals you much more than hiding it in your room or under that fake smile you would put everyday so no one asks you what is the matter with you. I used to think that I would look powerless if I said it and if I expressed my sadness openly. It is alright to express our feelings. We are beings with emotions too. It is ok to feel you were responsible for its life and not to have accomplished that duty. But your mindset should be more like this: Did I do my best so it had everything she needed? Did I make good memories with it? It is alright to feel it is unfair. It is alright to want to hide from the world, I respect the decision you made because I was the same. The pain is growing and sometimes you will feel like there is no point in life though it isn’t true. You must come back! Don’t stay on the ground, you’ll catch a cold! Get up and find a way to express your feelings. Maybe sometimes you will feel like crying but you can shout, you can draw and tear that paper. You have the right to do it and no one has to tell you that you are only making a fuss for a dead cat because that cat was your everything and no one has the right to disapprove it. If you ever lose your temper in a way even yourself couldn't have imagined you could, there is something I know will change you and bring you back bit by bit. Trust me, it was my best remedy. It is called Passiflora, a plant documented with therapeutic properties, helping not only reducing stress but also helping with sleep problems, anxiety and depression.  Finally I hope I didn’t add more tears to your face but instead I hope I extended a little hand so you can reach it. I want to be the hand that makes you stand up from the cold ground. Please take care of you and remember to find you need to find again something or someone that you’ll want to protect. (Ps: Sorry if I made mistakes while writing this.)