#again I'm tired and rambling but I hope this made sense

[arlertwhore]

pairing: paige bueckers x fem! reader

synopsis: paige shows you how that strap game is and you fall in-love.

warning (s): smut, kinda virginity loss, strap, oral, fingering, nipple sucking, penetration, kinda fluffy and kinda cute, hair pulling.

word count: 3.7k

author note: based off req again, unedited again, wrote very late at night, ty for the support once again!! MINORS DNI

Whenever Paige & you texted, on the rare occasion, it was typically

inquires on scheduling, clothes that were left behind, or silly videos you found funny enough to share with Paige, your only companion with a foolish sense of humor alike you. Your Uni Friends were far too serious to handle your actual humor, and in the groupchat, all

that would be shared amongst you guys were academically humor-ous videos. You enjoyed being able to send Paige anything, even if it had the most crass, offensive, abrasive humor behind it. That's how you saw it when you sent her what you sent her, but Paige couldn't lie, she didn't expect you to be this forward. Readying herself to reply sweetly to your Tiktok or Reel or whatever since it was a rare thing, in the midst of practice, thankfully on a break and away from her team, she had opened your texts to a picture of your Amazon cart, showing you had purchased a big strap-on dildo.

It was either she left you on opened, speechless, or expressed her truest thoughts.

Paige replied: ?

Paige replied: 70$🤨 Is this why you've been working extra-lately?

You chuckled, on your break at work, replying: caught me 😊

You bit your lip: excited p?

Later that night, she called you to follow up on the details. "You got that for me?" She was treating this entire ordeal like a kid before a talent show, nervous and wanting to perform their best. "Paige, I'm hoping you aren't seriously calling me at 3AM on a Monday to ask me why I wanna use a strap with you." you groaned, having just got done with your nightly routine and being nearly asleep when she phoned you. "You're a grinch when you're tired," Paige teased, "I'm just making sure you're not asking me to use this because I can't satisfy you or sum." If only she knew how many sleepless, stressed-from-school-and-work, horny nights you had, trying to conjure her face in your mind, replicate her finger-work to no avail. That was actually how you got the idea for the strap. While browsing on her TikTok, trying to find something hot to help you stick the image in your mind, you had seen a video of her dancing with KK, and she had done a thrust dance motion that was so incredibly smooth it made you feel butterflies. You wanted to experience it for yourself now.

"Paige!" you exclaimed, "You're so annoying, Paige, oh my gosh! Of course it's not like that, I just like fucking you and I wanna try new things. Don't you? We could take turns with it and it could be so fun and-"

"FUCK no!" Paige chortled, a chuckle escaping her lips, "I'll let you and this attitude go back to sleep, but tomorrow you're getting it fucked out of you," she declared. "Yeah, whatever, Peanut Butter," you retorted. "Mhm, and by the time I'm done with you, you'll be jelly." she quipped in a genuine attempt to flirt, and you burst out laughing. She was so cute and unintentionally funny sometimes.

You couldn't have been more grateful for Amazon-Prime Shipping and the power of sleep and your busy schedule, because before you knew it, it was the next day and you had been post-gym, post-shower, and in your towel preparing for Paige's arrival when the door had been knocked. Happy, you rushed from your bedroom out to the front door of your apartment, and you yanked it open. "Isn't this perfect, P!" you rambled as she entered, undoing her laces and kicking her shoes off. "Finished all my schoolwork at work, just got back from the gym, and just finished showering, and now you're here." Paige chuckled lightly. "Don't get too excited. Let me shower first. That game today was tough, yo, St. Jackson didn't let up."

"Yeah, whatever, Paige, just hurry up," you said at her snail-like speed, placing her backpack on the rack and stretching. You hurriedly began to undress her, eager, and her much taller frame gently and playfully pushed you away. "Get outta here," she said, smacking your butt as you teetered away, giggling, obliging.

After she had finished showering, she entered your bedroom, both of you in your towels as you presented her with her gift. "Ta-da!" you chorused, "Need a YouTube tutorial or step-by-step." you quipped, playfully.

Paige's face turned serious. "Y/N," she began, as if she had just come to an epiphany, "isn't this gonna be your first time with something this size?" You nodded, eyebrows furrowed, wondering why she would look so concerned. "So?"

"So, this might hurt... like how it would with a... you know," you guys refrained from saying the g-word. And though you hadn't seen it that way, technically, Paige was about to take your virginity on a random Monday night.

"Oh," you replied, "I mean, I'm not the kind to back down from a challenge." you tried to humorously brush it off, but Paige was still extremely serious. "No, really, are you sure? I don't mind having a chill night or something," she insisted, knowing that in reality, if you guys had a chill night just hanging out, she might fall for you even harder. Heck, to be the first person inside you—the very first—was gonna cost her even more feelings of limerence for you. You pressed your lips into a flat line. Your next words, though meant in a literal way, made Paige's heart flutter. "If not you, then who else?"

Girls, even g-words, loved Paige, and she was very popular. She had a wide variety of people ready to have something with her, and you knew that the only reason she was with you was because everybody else was too invested and demanding. This year, at uni, you had finally found an identity. You had a demanding family, who were tough when it came to your academics and all other aspects, meaning it took you a good amount of time before you felt confident about who you were, who you liked, your style—all those key parts of your identity. You getting drunk and being open about it at a party was you at your rawest, and Paige had accepted this. She had seen you in a way you weren't sure you wanted anybody else to, and weren't sure if anybody else would want to like they did for her. So really, if not her, than who?

Paige had a billion things running through her mind that she wanted to say. "I wish we were dating before doing this," could've been one, "I wish I knew so I could make this more romantic for you," could've been another. But instead, the blonde laid her hand upon your cheek, kissing you before murmuring, "Thank you for trusting me with this," nose-to-nose. You grinned. "Yeah... I-, uh, thank you for never saying no," you replied, dropping your towel.

That was usually how it went —quick. Now, after a dirty kiss, you'd get naked and let Paige take the lead, and it'd be quick, raw, and passionate, but it was just different. The kiss was. And though you tried to match the pacing, that was different too. You watched as Paige fitted it on, her back turned to you. When you got bored, you reached into your nightstand drawer and removed the lube for safety. When Paige turned back around, the strap was on perfectly, making you suspicious about this being her first time. Oddly enough, if Paige were to say she did this with another girl, you might actually cry, so you don't ask her and just open your legs instead. "How do I look?" Paige asked, pulling at her chin repeatedly before flexing her arms. "Hot," you replied truthfully, "So hot."

Her hair was still wet, sorta wavy, and her skin was glass after she'd finished moisturizing. She smelled so good too. Everytime you two were about to do this, she somehow managed to look hotter each time. "You're keeping the rest of your thoughts to yourself," she read your mind, "Praise me some more." she teased, dropping to her knees. "What do you want me to say?" you asked, sitting up on your elbows and looking down at her, the girl positioned between your legs. "All the things I could just see you thinking about me," she breathed, her long finger coming up to circle your clit gently,

"All the things I can literally feel you thinking about me." she cleverly remarked about your immediate response to the sight of her: wetness. "I was thinking..." you begun, retracing your memory, mind always hazy when her fingers were on you. "Mhm," she murmured, suctioning your clit into her mouth gently, her eyes fixed on yours to let you know she was still listening. "Fuck," you breathed out, "Fuck, Paige, don't do this to me," you whimpered desperately. "You stop, I stop," she replied, pulling back slightly. "It's not so hard, is it?" she quirked a brow, pushing a finger inside your hole, eliciting a sharp gasp from your parted lips. "Tell me what was on your mind a second ago," she demanded as she pumped her middle finger in and out of you at a slow pace, too slow for your liking.

"You're so hot, Paige," you moaned, toes curling as she rewarded your disclosure with a long lick. "You always look so good all the time," you sighed, lip quivering as her finger made contact with your g-spot, stroking it in a distinct motion that made your lip quiver. "You have the prettiest eyes. The prettiest hair. You're just so perfect, gosh," Her oral ministrations ceased momentarily as she added another finger into you, her voice teasing, "Tastes and sounds like y/n's got a crush on me." You hated her smart mouth.

And simultaneously, you loved it and it felt too fucking good. "I love how smartly you talk too—so naturally," you confessed, feeling a surge of arousal seep out of you as her fingers maintained their unhurried pace within you. "You do, baby?" she purred, her voice dripping with satisfaction. "Yeah," you moaned needily, "and I love it when you call me that." You melted into her touch, reveling in the mix of sensations coursing through your body. It was moments like these that blurred the lines between strictly pleasure and raw desire. You found pleasure in Paige's moments of dominance, relishing the sensation of being degraded. However, when she slipped up and used endearing terms, it shifted the dynamic, offering a glimpse of something beyond mere physical intimacy. In those moments, you could almost forget the boundaries of your arrangement as fuck buddies. It also dawned on you that your submission was a source of satisfaction for her, which in turn heightened your own pleasure. It was a delicate balance of power dynamics that fueled your exchange.

Paige continued her slow and sloppy assault, alternating between gentle licks and rough suckles, driving you to the edge of madness with each passing second. Paige's pace was torturously slow, but every moment felt like an eternity of bliss. She took her time, savoring every taste and sensation, making sure to explore every inch of your tight insides and throbbing clit. You moaned her name, your fingers tangling in her hair as you urged her on, wanting more of her touch, more of her tongue. Just more.

She draws back, a glistening trail of your essence adorning her chin. A connection between her and your cunt, strings of slick guide the way back into your wet pussy. With a gentle sigh, she spits lightly, a delicate touch that heightens the sensation, before tenderly reengaging, her tongue dancing with a graceful finesse amidst the delightful mess and head shaking passionately as she slurps you up. Lost in the moment, a wave of tranquility washes over you, enveloping you in the tender embrace of her touch. As her fingers explore deeper, a third joins the dance, their gentle caresses coaxing forth a symphony of pleasure.

Each movement is a whisper, a soft murmur of affection that sends shivers down your spine. With every stroke of her tongue, every tender exploration of her fingers, you feel yourself drawn closer to the brink of ecstasy. And as you teeter on the edge, your voice rises in a gentle climax, a whispered invocation of her name that echoes through the room, showcasing the intensity of your desire as she expertly continues to tongue-fuck you through your orgasm, each stroke pushing you further into the realms of euphoria. "Paige! I'm cumming, I'm cumming, I'm cumming," you cry out, and she doesn't release you, holding your thighs firmly as she acknowledges your ecstasy with a soft, "Mhm." into your pussy.

When she's satisfied — when your body stops convulsing and you lay flat back onto the bed, heaving — she climbs up your body, her lips trailing wet kisses down your neck and chest. Each kiss sends shivers down your spine, igniting a fire within you that refuses to be extinguished. As her lips reach your nipples, she sucks on the right breast, eliciting a tiny moan from you. You hold her head close, the sensation distracting you from the cold lube she squirts onto your cunt. But as the gel is applied, a lingering pain stirs within you granted by her fingers, a sharp reminder of the intrusion to come.

Despite the discomfort, you focus on her, craving the connection between you. With a raw intensity, you pull her into a kiss, the carnal desire between you palpable. "I can't wait for you to fuck me," you murmur against her lips, your voice thick with anticipation. "I know you'll do so good." You fall into another kiss, and this time, Paige takes your legs, raising them up to your sides. With practiced ease, she spreads the lube around your cunt, mixing it with your natural slick and saliva. The sight of the strap-on makes you pause, realizing its size for the first time.

Paige notices your hesitation and speaks to distract you. "You nervous?" she asks, her voice laced with concern. You glance down at the intimidating shaft, contemplating the impending pain. "How bad is that gonna hurt on a scale of 1-10?" you inquire, your voice trembling with uncertainty. Paige doesn't sugarcoat her response. "8," she admits, her hand pumping the shaft. "9," she adds, hunching over your body. "But to you, that's a 10." She knows you well, understanding your body and its limits like no one else.

But you trust her implicitly, knowing she'll guide you through this experience with care and expertise. "Give me this hand," she commands, placing your left hand onto the cock. "While I push, you'll feel it, so you know when to brace for impact, kay?" You nod, a silent agreement passing between you. She raises her right hand like she's making an oath. "I'll use this hand to play with your clit," she promises, her touch grounding you in the moment.

And if you want me to stop at any time... what's the word?" she asks, her gaze locked with yours. "Toasted cornuts," you reply without hesitation. "Toasted cornuts," she repeats, a solemn vow passing between you. With her left arm caging you in, you focus on her muscles, admiring her strength and determination. "You have such a nice body," you remark, unable to resist complimenting her.

Paige lets out a tiny whistle, her confidence bolstered by your words. "Look who's fuckin' talkin'," she quips, her thumb circling your clit with a newfound rhythm that sends waves of pleasure coursing through you. "Tell me when you're ready," she instructs, her voice soft and reassuring. You hesitate, uncertainty clouding your mind. But you trust Paige implicitly, knowing she'll support you through every step of this journey. "I..." you are, definitely, but you hesitate. Paige is like a mind reader. "What do you need. You can't be afraid to tell me what you need." You stare up at her, wondering if it'd break the barrier of casualty. But you really did trust her. And again, if not her, then who? "There's too much space between us, Paige," you confess, your voice tinged with vulnerability. "I need you closer." Her response is immediate, her lips finding yours in a searing kiss that leaves you breathless. Pressing her chest against yours, she buries her head in the crook of your neck, leaving a trail of hickeys in her wake.

She was super nervous herself — she had deliberately kept that distance, fearing the intimacy that would inevitably follow. By closing the gap between you, she was exposing herself to a vulnerability she hadn't anticipated. As she pressed her body against yours, her heart raced with uncertainty. Every touch, every kiss, threatened to break down the walls she had carefully built around herself. But she couldn't deny the pull she felt towards you, the magnetic attraction that drew her closer with each passing moment.

With her lips against yours, she tried to push aside her fears, focusing instead on the raw passion that ignited between you. In this moment, there was no room for doubt or hesitation, only the overwhelming desire to be close to you, to feel your body pressed against hers in a shared embrace of passion and longing.

"I'm ready," you gasp, your voice barely above a whisper. "Are you sure?" Paige asks, her concern evident in her eyes. "Yes, I'm sure," you reply with conviction, ready to face whatever comes next. As she begins to push forward, the intrusion feels foreign at first, but the discomfort quickly gives way to a deep, throbbing pleasure. You moan, the sensation overwhelming yet undeniably arousing.

"Hey, play with your clit," Paige instructs, her voice a soothing melody in the midst of your passion. "Feels better that way." You obey, your hand finding its way to your clit, your movements synchronized with Paige's thrusts. They start slow, almost teasingly, as if she's savoring every moment of your connection. Each movement is deliberate, calculated to elicit the maximum amount of pleasure from both of you. As she pushes forward, you feel the pressure building inside you, a delicious ache that only serves to heighten your desire.

You whimper, suddenly overwhelmed by the desire to be on your stomach. "Paige, turn me over," you plead, your voice a desperate plea for more, and with her immense strength, she effortlessly complies. The sensation floods your senses, sending a shiver of anticipation down your spine. As she positions you just as you had envisioned, memories of that electrifying encounter in the bathroom flood your mind. It's as if fate has brought you full circle, and now, here you are, experiencing the culmination of that desire.

With one hand firmly planted on your hip, Paige holds you steady as you press yourself against her, the intimacy of the moment washing over you like a wave. Your face contorts in pleasure as a guttural moan escapes your lips, the intensity of the sensation overwhelming and exhilarating all at once. "Oh, fuck, Paige," you gasp, your words a breathless declaration of pleasure. "Fuck, you feel so good." She can hardly find the words to respond, caught up in the raw passion of the moment. Her gaze meets yours, filled with awe and admiration as she marvels at your willingness to surrender to her.

"You're taking it so well, Y/N," she murmurs, her voice laced with admiration and desire. The sound of your name on her lips sends a thrill of pleasure coursing through you.

"Just for you," you whimper, your voice trembling with desire, "Just for you, P." Paige's thrusts exceed your expectations, her hips moving with a fluidity and precision that leaves you breathless. It's as if she's been trained for this moment, every movement calculated to maximize your pleasure. She wasn't lying when she said she would fuck the attitude out of you.

Using your hair to lift you up and off the bed, Paige forces your back into a proper arch, holding you in that position as she pistons her hips against yours. The sound of skin clapping against skin fills the atmosphere, punctuating each thrust with a primal rhythm that echoes the urgency of your desire.

"I'm gonna make you cum," she growls, her voice husky with need, and you can only moan in response, "Yeah, please," a plea for more, for release.

As she pounds into you relentlessly, you fumble with your clit, seeking that elusive release that hangs just beyond your grasp. And then, as her movements become more frantic and urgent, you feel it—the familiar sense of impending bliss, building and cresting within you.

With a cry of ecstasy, you finally succumb to the overwhelming pleasure, your body convulsing in ecstasy as torrents of pleasure cascade through you. It's as if the entire universe narrows down to this singular moment of pure, unadulterated bliss, enveloping you in a cocoon of rapture and leaving you breathless and utterly spent in its wake. Tears stream down your face, a testament to the intensity of the ecstasy you've just experienced as you come down from the peak, your heart still racing and your senses tingling with the aftershocks of pleasure.

As the weight of the moment settles over both of you, there's a palpable shift in the air. Paige withdraws from you, her movements mirroring your own sense of vulnerability and realization. For a moment, the silence between you is heavy with unspoken thoughts and emotions.

Then, with a tenderness that belies her usual confidence, Paige turns you over, her gaze soft yet intense as she meets your eyes. In that moment, you can see the depth of her feelings reflected back at you, a mixture of awe, tenderness, and a hint of uncertainty.

Without a word, Paige enfolds you in her arms, pulling you close against her chest. It's a gesture that speaks volumes, conveying more than words ever could. In her embrace, you find solace, reassurance, and a sense of belonging that fills the empty spaces within you.

As you rest against her, feeling the steady rhythm of her heartbeat beneath your ear, you realize that this is just the beginning of your journey together. You guys have started something beyond what this was supposed to be.

love is in the air? leave comments guys tell me what you think about this.. chapter? part? Where do you think the relationship is going and where do you want it to go? Inbox is open! masterlist here

[thelov3lybookworm]

I Didn't Ask For This (part twelve)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

Summary: Marriage had always been something sacred to little Y/n, something dream like, where her husband would come and whisk her away to a fairyland. At least, that's what she had always thought.

All her dreams would be shattered.

But maybe she can salvage them?

•○●⛦●○•

Tw: none that I can think of, so let me know if I need to add anything.

A/n: you did not think I would forget about my baby, did you? Yes, I am in fact, not dead. And yes, I didn't write anything for this fic for a long time because I had no idea what to do 😌

Also, thank you for all the love that you gave this one. I am soo glad I was able to write something for you to love. 🥹❣️

This is the last part in this series. But if there is something you want to see in a possible epilogue, please send in an ask or comment.

Enjoy!

•○🌑○•

A loud knock on the door startled Y/n, who was trying not to get caught reading the very... not child friendly stuff Nesta had given her. Cauldron knew what else Nesta had in store for Y/n.

The knock was a little too loud to be Azriel, because most of the time Y/n didn't even realise someone had knocked when Azriel knocked. So it was definitely most probably Cassian, who was probably excited about something.

She got up to open the door, wondering if she should hide the book she was reading in case Cassian decided to barge in. For Cassian, it wouldn't be anything new.

She felt like it was the biggest shock in her life when she found Azriel standing outside the door, his hand poised to knock again as he grinned widely at her, panting.

Because, first of all, Azriel was a quiet person. Hell, even his wings made no sound when flying. If he knocked so loud, it was probably something huge. She didn't know if it was a good thing or not.

And second and more concerning thing was that Azriel was grinning. This was a man who would glare at people just for smiling in his direction.

Now she wondered if she really should have hidden the book.

"Azriel? Is everything alright?"

Impossibly, he somehow managed to grin wider. Once he had gained some semblance of control over his breathing, he spoke.

"Everything's fine. Perfect even."

Now Y/n was seriously concerned.

"Why are you grinning?"

"I need to show you something."

He offered her his hand, which she eyed suspiciously before taking. "What is it?"

"It wouldn't be fun if I told you about it." He pointed out, leading her to a nearby balcony.

That made sense.

He picked her up and began flying, the setting sun making the atmosphere beautiful. That was all Y/n tried to think about because if she didn't, she would continue to hound Azriel for answers, and he was too stubborn for his own good. He wouldn't tell her what it was, no matter what.

Soon, he was landing in front of a beautiful house, a beautiful lawn surrounding it. The area was quiet. There were similar looking houses nearby, a few shops. They were near the center of Velaris, but the pace was still quiet, tranquil even. Just like Azriel.

Y/n thought she knew what was going on, but still she asked. "Why are we here?"

Azriel grinned, a light blush dusting his cheeks. "I wanted to show you this place. Do you like it?"

"It's beautiful." She stretched out the word, searching his face.

"I brought that home. I thought now that we are... getting to know each other again and are comfortable, we might as well live somewhere far from Cassian and Nesta. Figured you might be just as tired of them as I am. Of course, I'm not saying you should live with me if you don't want to, but one day... maybe?" He looked at her when he finished rambling, his eyes hopeful.

She smiled. "I would love to live with you Azriel. So, when are we going to move in?"

Azriel's face lit up like a child who had recieved a gift on solstice. "As soon as possible. If you're okay with it." He paused for a moment, thinking. "Do you want to take a look inside?"

"Sure."

Azriel led her inside the mostly empty but clean house, a little jump in his steps. Y/n smiled and shook her head as he walked in front of her, opening all the doors and cupboards, a small grin on his blushing face.

•○🌑○•

Azriel was cooking, having forced Y/n to sit and watch. Since there weren't many things in the house except for a couch, bed and a few cupboards, Azriel had flown back to the house of wind to get items for their dinner.

She had offered to cook, but he had refused. And since then, Y/n could tell he was trying really hard to impress her with his cooking skills.

They kept talking throughout, his focus equally divided.

Right now, he was seemingly about to flip the food in the pan, and he turned to her.

"Watch this." But then he realised she was already watching, and he faltered.

Unfortunately, he had already begun to move the pan. And because he wasn't paying attentiont to the pan, the food items in the pan scattered all around the kitchen, and Y/n hid her smile behind a hand.

Cauldron, Azriel was adorable.

He stared at the mess, his shoulders slumping. Y/n hopped down from the counter she was siting on and moved closer to him. "Go. Sit. I'll make us something."

Azriel shook his head. "No."

Y/n cocked her head. "Why not? I cooked all the time by myself before."

"I'll get something from a restaurant."

Her brows furrowed. "But why?"

"Because I want to treat you better than you have been treated before." He mumbled under his breath, barely audible. Maybe he was trying to not let her hear, but she did.

Her heart swelled, as if it tripped fell down the stairs and now had to rest in bed for its whole life.

"You are treating me good." She smiled at him when he looked at her with wide eyes. He blushed furiously when she placed a tender kiss on his cheek.

"What– what would you like to eat?"

Y/n sighed. "Anything. I don't really have something in mind."

Azriel nodded. "I'll be back soon."

And with that, he bounded off towards the door, leaving his shadows behind to clean up the mess he had made.

•○🌑○•

Y/n watched as her husband moved his hand animatedly, his face filled with excitement.

The two of them sat on the couch, knees touching. Y/n wondered if in a few moments she'd be on his lap.

It had started out with her on the couch and him on the armchair near the fire, having finished their dinner sitting on the kitchen counter top because there was no table or chairs. After that, they had moved to hear the fireplace.

They had sat in silence, contemplating what to talk about when she found Azriel grinning.

When she asked him about it, he told her about how his shadows loved to be nosy and knew almost everyone's secret. How they had been telling him about the secret of the little boy passing by the house. It was that he had stolen a cookie without his mother's knowledge, and how he prayed to the cauldron that she never found out.

Since then, he had begun telling her of all the juicy secrets he gathered over the years, his shadows occasionally chiming in to add to the information. He had slowly begun shifting towards her as he spoke.

It wasn't long before he settled on the opposite end of the couch, a huge smile on his face as he told her of one of his favourite secrets that he found out, his body seemingly moving of its own accord.

Throughout the night after that, he had shifted closer anytime he got a little more excited, her scooting closer when she got more and more intrested in the story he was telling.

He finally stopped speaking, taking a deep breath, his cheeks flushed and a wide grinon his face.

Y/n sighed. "Well... that was a journey."

"I have better stories than that." He smirked smugly when her eyes widened in disbelief.

"Liar. I don't believe you. Even Nesta's books have less dramatic plot lines."

He grinned, shaking his head. "Speaking of Nesta's books... did you enjoy the book that you were you reading today?"

Y/n immediately tensed. "What do you mean?"

He gave her a sly smirk. "I'm the spymaster of the night court, Y/n, and I've been married to you for almost six months now. Do you really think I don't know what conspires between you and Nesta when me and Cassian aren't looking?"

A blush climbed up Y/n's neck. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure. Let me help you with that–" And then, as if the damn book had been next to him this whole time, he pulled it out of between his shadows and flipped open to where she had been reading when he interrupted her that morning. She knew that because she found the candy wrapper she placed in between the pages to mark the her progress.

She gasped, but he was already beginning to read. "Where were you? I think it was here? He grinned up at her from between her thighs..." He paused for a moment, reading, before he clicked his tongue. "You are really interested in this?"

He was busy reading, and so he didn't see her reaching out to snatch the book until she had a firm grasp on the book. He looked at her in surprise, but she began tugging. Of course, he didn't let her pull it too far before he himself started tugging at it.

"Let go Azriel."

He gave a harsh tug, and Y/n was no match for his strength. She lurched forward, her hand landing on his shoulder. Her face was mere inches from his and he grinned up at her.

"Really? You like this–" He shook the book near her face. "–this thing so much? Honestly, you could choose better."

Her whole face flushed as she tried to keep herself from glancing at his lips. "Don't be mean. It's rude to judge people."

"Hard not to when you read childish things like these." She scowled at him, and he leaned closer to her as he whispered, "Honestly, I could show you better things. The male here is like a newborn child compared to me."

Y/n blinked in shock, his closeness doing nothing to help her slow brain. He huffed a laugh at her reaction, and the air on her face finally pulled her from her daze. She began to pull back, trying to retreat back into her original position, but he caught hold of the hand on his shoulder, his expression serious.

Azriel's eyes trailed down to her mouth, and his tongue flicked out to lick his lips. He glanced up at her eyes, his eyes swimming with question.

Y/n knew it would be pointless and stupid to pretend she didn't want what he was offering. She could not keep lying to herself when this was all she wanted since the two of them began spending more time together.

So she simply leaned back in, her eyes fluttering shut when his breath caressed her features again.

•○●⛦●○•

Azriel didn't need anymore confirmation.

He was tired of waiting, and now that she was so close, it was too hard not to sink his teeth into her. Into those beautiful lips, that beautiful body.

So he surged up, and caught his lips with hers.

In that moment, it felt like he had found peace. Something he had been searching his whole life for. Like he had found the home he never had.

Not the house he was currently in, but home in her.

And when she gasped, he realised there were multiple reasons responsible for that feeling.

First obviously being that he loved her.

Second, she loved him.

And how did he know?

He felt it coming at him in waves.

Through the newly found golden string connecting their souls.

I love you. The emotions he felt from her seemed to tell him.

I love you more. The emotions he sent back to her.

And there, on that couch in their new house, tangled in each other's arms...

Azriel and Y/n were finally home.

•○🌑○•

Taglist: @bubybubsters @maxxieluvs @bubbbllee @buckyandgeraltsupremacy @waytoomanyteenagefeels @tell-me-a-poem @the-lake-is-calling @spaxxxi @japanese-wonderland-blog @valeridarkness @moonlwghts @deadratio @esposadomd @harrystylesfan2686 @missusbarnes-rogers @whatthefuckshappeningrn @hyacinthoideshispanica @historygeekqueen @lizziesfirstwife @nastynesta @aroseinvelaris @nightless @cleverzonkwombatsludge @kodokunarisu-blog @selillusion @eos-princess @moonfawnx @a-court-of-milkandhoney @emilyo-218 @wannabewolf @ailyr92 @chronically-online-cheese @myheartfollower @hells-sluttiest-new-arrival @marina468 @menaosama @starryhiraeth @hereticdance @mali22 @valencia-rou @azrielsstarlight @marvelouslovely-barnes @luvmoo @starlight-hope @a-frog-with-a-laptop @fall-myriad @alt-ghost @elleofdragons @ruleroftides @5moremin @stargirl1714 @bunnymallowo @ivy-34 @aria-chikage @kalulakunundrum

[anulithots]

I got to chapter 236.

And maybe I'm finally getting closer to fully analyzing Gojo. Because.. this made a lot of sense of his character actually, and to me it does not seem out of character for him to seem 'less caring for his students' compared to empathizing with the king of curses himself.

I think that Gojo drew the line after Riko's death, because meeting Geto was the first time he allowed himself to be anyone but just 'the strongest'. He had fun and joked around and enjoyed himself.

But... the confidence given to him as 'the strongest' was taken from him. He wasn't strong enough to defeat Toji. So he doubled down on making himself stronger, and fought with a crazy streak.

From here on out, he was simply 'a living creature'. I'd even go as far as to say that he never let himself get as close to anyone as he did with Geto and Riko. He would love them, he does love them, but he had to 'draw his line', lest the same thing happen again. If he isn't the strongest for one moment, people he cares about die.

He couldn't allow himself to be around Geto as much. He needed to be stronger.

After Geto left, Gojo says he can only save those who want to be saved.... and I think that was Gojo's motive from then on out. (Like when he talks to Megumi about being selfish, he doesn't say anything until Megumi asks to be trained.) Because he couldn't save his best friend. He couldn't save anyone that mattered. Not even as the strongest, not even after he isolated himself to be the strongest.

Gojo portrayed himself as the strongest, the one who would handle everything and no one would see him as human. He wasn't human. He loved them, but he kept his distance. He'd protect them. But he'd keep his distance.

He'd make sure that everyone else could be strong enough to protect themselves without experiencing his loneliness.

Because the corrupt system makes it so. If you're strong, then you are lonely. If you aren't strong, then you'll still die alone.

Gojo's going to do everything he can to give them companionship and happiness... and the strength to protect themselves from the system.

Because he could only have one or the other. And he chose strength because... he was the strongest after all.

Gojo himself doesn't see himself as anyone but the strongest. The moment he allowed himself to have friends, they were taken from him, so he went back to being the lonely sorcerer he once was, regretting everything that happened.

In this way, he mirrors Itadori:

Gojo does regret the way he's lived.

I don't think Nanami would honestly say this. He may say something along these lines, but he wouldn't say it like this.

This, I think, is Gojo's perception of what others think of him. Because he doesn't do it just to satisfy himself, if that were the case, then he wouldn't have been a teacher or done all he did to protect his students (to the point where the moment he was sealed a lot of people got screwed over)

The only one who understood Gojo was Geto, but as @ellionwrites pointed out in this post, Geto left with the words of 'are you just 'the strongest'?

And to Gojo, it's almost like there's no hope for him now. He's the strongest, but what power does that give him really? In this society? He 'gave it his all' and in return he only got solitude from everyone else, who thought of Gojo as above them.

The only solution he can think of is:

Fix society so that way no one is alone anymore.

(not that Gojo himself would be alleviated from his loneliness...

One last thing:

Gojo might've lived with regrets, but he didn't die with them.

... sorry for rambling! Really tired right now. I'll try to make a condensed version of Gojo's character like I did for pre-shibuya Itadori soon.

@justrustandstardust @lmskitty @bygeto

[harveysweakness]

Pressing Charges

WARNING: TALK OF BEING MUGGED

A/N: This has been sitting in my drafts for so long!!!!

"And she's been saying that Y/N has been yelling at her left and right and on top of that she, I think, might not pass the-"

"What did you say?" Harvey interrupted, listening just barely enough for that snippet to catch his attention.

"Y/N has been yelling at her?" Mike questioned.

"Y/N has been yelling?"

"Yeah, at her first year associate. Anyway," Mike kept rambling and Harvey didn't listen one bit. You never yelled. The only time you ever raised your voice was when someone attacked somebody you cared about. And the fact that you were yelling did not sit right with Harvey at all.

-----

The day seem to drag on as Harvey stared at the clock. The office wouldn't get empty enough for him until 7pm and he knew you'd still be in your cozy corner office a hall down from him way past 7.

He couldn't risk seeing you during the day. The only person who knew him and you were growing closer was Donna, and Harvey knew she could keep a secret. Donna always knew what was going on in the office-

Harvey shook his head, frustrated that he didn't think of it earlier. Pressing the button on the intercom, he waited for her familiar voice. "Donna, can you come in here please?"

"What's up?" Donna asked as she plopped a seat in the chair across from Harvey's.

"Have you heard anything about Y/N?"

Donna looked a little nervous.

"Donna," he pushed, giving her a pointed look that meant he would not ask again.

"Someone heard her on the phone with someone talking about pressing charges."

Harvey's face turned more serious than it had been. "Did someone hurt her?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know, I wish I did."

"Thanks, Donna."

--------

As soon as enough people had left for the day, Harvey made his way down the hall, pausing in the doorway to your office, his heart breaking just a bit at the site. Your head was in your hands, one of your cream-colored blankets draped around your shoulders, and Harvey could only assume that the soft sniffle you gave was from crying.

You picked your head up a moment later, seemingly finally sensing a presence.

"What do you wa- Harvey," your tone softened at his name, eyes going from steely to tired.

"Hey," he greeted softly, finally stepping into your office and shutting the door behind him. He paused for a moment, not quite sure on the best course of action before you burst into tears. The man moved swiftly around your desk towards you. You waisted no time in wrapping your arms around him, burying your face into the jacket of his suit.

"Talk to me, sweetheart."

You pulled away enough to be able to speak, him moving to rest against the edge of your desk.

“Last night, I decided to walk instead of take a car.”

Harvey bit his tongue. You were at least a fifteen to twenty minute walk from the office and he knew for a fact that you hadn’t left while it was still light outside.

“I had made it almost halfway home when some guy came up behind me and hit me and tried to get my bag. I turned to fight,” -Harvey let out a small sigh, which you ignored- “and he pulled out a gun.”

“Y/N.”

You brushed away a stray tear and continued. “I must be the luckiest woman in the world, because there was a cop nearby, who pulled out his gun. The man was shot, he’s in the hospital currently.”

“My god,” Harvey said quietly. You hummed.

“I’m pressing charges, but I can’t get it out of my head.”

“Did you talk to your therapist about it?”

“How do you know I have a therapist?” You questioned, a small smile toying at your lips.

He shrugged. “I know everything.”

“You are not Donna,” you giggled.

“Nor would I ever dream to be.” You both laughed before it got quiet.

“I’m seeing my therapist tomorrow to talk about it.”

“Good. I hope it helps. If you need anything-“

“You’ll be the first one I go to,” you admitted softly. Harvey felt his chest tighten.

“The first?”

“Is that okay?”

“I’d be honored… It’s late, Y/N.”

You glanced at your computer screen, which read 9:24pm.

“I should get going, and so should you.”

Harvey stood and walked to where you had thrown your coat over the couch in the corner. You blushed when he held it open for you, cheeks reddening further when he gently pulled your hair out from under the warm material, his fingers brushing ever so lightly against the back of your neck.

“Let me walk you out. Did you call Frank?”

You nodded. “He should be pulling up any second.”

You followed Harvey to his office, watching him throw his coat on and pack up his bag. You felt a sadness inside, and you weren’t quite sure why. Maybe you didn’t want to say goodnight to him just yet.

“Ready?” He asked.

“Definitely.”

The two of you walked side by side towards the elevators, riding down in silence, both exhausted by the day. After you exited the elevator and made your way through the revolving door to the building, you felt Harvey’s hand on your back, providing the security you needed to feel safe. He walked you to your car, Frank standing at the driver’s side, watching the pedestrians walk by with narrowed eyes. Harvey felt better knowing your driver was someone who cared about you too.

“Ms. Y/L/N,” Frank greeted.

“Hi, Frank, thank you.”

Harvey moved to open the backseat door for you, offering his hand to help you into the car. You took it, but didn’t get in, instead choosing to look at him.

“Thank you,” you whispered, hoping your depth of your gratitude was evident.

“Of course, sweetheart. Get home safe.”

You bit your lower lip, not missing the way his eyes flickered to it. He looked like he wanted to lean in, so did you, but you just gave a small smile and leaned up and around to press a kiss to his cheek.

“Goodnight, Harvey,” you murmured, before stepping into the car and taking a graceful seat.

“Goodnight.” He shut the door once he made sure you were clear and you didn’t miss his smile as you pulled into the streets of the city.

[suhjihanma]

been thinking abt geto just spitting in my mouth and making me swallow it while i suck on his dick just 😋😋😋

Author's Note: Wouldn't we all love him to do that? Bonus if we're his personal cum lube and he asks you to 'make it wet' for him like the slut you is? I'm rambling again. Hope you like it, anon. Did this while I was a bit faded.

You love to make it nasty for him.

Sometimes.

It would be nice to have Suguru force you to take every last drop of him. From what secretes to his mouth, all the way to the goodness that lies deep in your mouth by taking him all the way, the endless filth of praises were all too familiar. 

“Swallow. Or else.” He grunted, lips slacked with the endless pleasure you were given him underneath. The tightness of his grip became more rough as he slammed himself in your mouth. Your hair wrapped around his firm hands, your head that was beginning to ache from the unforgiving  tightness, you were at complete submission begging to be released from his grip. The gruffness of his voice made you whimper out in disobedience as you desperately tried to get away from Suguru, hips squirming away from the familiar sense of wetness from under, to the fear dampened against your salt-covered skin. In all honesty, you were scared of what he was going to do next, but then your body was inviting everything in. Regardless of what is yet to come, your body heads to the greediness of wanting more than just a cock in your mouth. Even if that made you sit in the presence of an anger stricken Suguru.

You feared for more, yet your sex was aching for more.

Eyes watering with wordless pleads, you looked at Suguru who gave you a face that scowled with impatience yet curiosity. The desperate act of escaping from his hold grew more as each whimper of protest led with a firm slap that crossed each one of your tear-stained cheeks. The cheeks that were hollowed, the stinging sensation left you crying over his cock, now sitting heavily against your tongue with continuous pours of a familiar leak that dropped from that sensitive head of his. You wanted to voice your pleas. You wanted him to stop, yet for some reason you wanted him to push the boundaries even longer. Sanity can wait. All you had waiting for you was degradation, and being pushed to break was something Suguru had in mind for you.

You could plead now. 

Your mouth that gave gentle suckles on his salted girth now slowly began to open. Lips quivering with hesitance, you tried with everything to mouth words from your pleading lips but all you got was something warm.

Something warm that was dribbled across his cock and between your opened mouth. 

“Please. Suguru, I need-” The warmness of his spit gathered through the softness of your tongue while your tongue started to lazily lap at the bottom of his cock. It was almost as if the teasing would stop his torment then, maybe he could be gentle with you. The mouth that was silenced by his unorganized thrusts became tiring as the muffled pants began to vibrate across him, causing him to shiver due to the sensitivity. As Suguru’s thrusts became more erratic, the tears started to swell in the corners of your eyes. The sudden low pants that eroded from Suguru’s chest grew to be more dragged as he continued to look at his cock disappearing within your mouth, each time with exposure his spit overlapped with taste.

“What you need is more spit for that cock.” He moaned out, forgetting the endless cries that came from your mouth, only to be muffled with the sounds that came from getting throat fucked.

So much for begging.

[lets-laughagain]

Hi! I saw that you were in 3 shows of Louis in Brasil. Do you mind sharing your favorite moments of each show? If you do mind ignore my ask, I just love reading fan experiences of Louis' shows.

I hope you have a nice day!

hiii i'm sorry it took so long, i was enjoying the rest of my vacation then i got sick due to the different weathers in every city 😬, but anyways here we gooo

i know you asked for my favorite moments but i talk too much and rambled about everything kjsdnadsk

RIO I got to the venue at 7pm, after a lot of traffic and anxiety 🫠, and there was still a big line to get in making giant rooks go on stage 15 minutes later than expected. I had listened a bit to them when the opening acts were announced but i loooved seeing them live, their concert was so much fun, i had a lot on my mind that day but as soon as they started playing my worries were gone like, music is everything really.

The venue's capacity is for 18k people, but i guess there were about 12k there? I'm not sure but, the chairs around me were half empty (a lot of people moved to closer seats), the floor was full but the stands not so much yk. It makes sense when you think it was on a wednesday and a lot of people couldn't make it.

As I went alone to this one and there weren't many people around me it was like me and louis and just letting out all of my emotions. Idk if it happens to anyone else, but I get a lot more emotional when I'm alone at shows. I don't even have much to say here cause I was really there in the moment giving my all, screaming my lungs out to hoth and feeling all this time deep in my soul (the drama lmao).

SÃO PAULO I was really tired after barely a day of rest at home, then packing another bag to curitiba, it was hectic, but thank god i had stands tickets again and my friends got there ealier and saved a seat for me.

Not to paraphrase harry but, that show was loud, loud and LOUD. Seriously, I've never seen so many people scream and jump for an opening act?? I was actually kinda shocked at how full the stadium was, its full capacity is 60k but as they were using only half the space i guess there were about 25k-30k people, it was really packed. Like, that video from outside the stadium that you can hear the screams is kinda crazy if you think it wasn't at full capacity.

This concert left me so proud of him, of how far he has come, like he said with no radio support or anything, seeing him in my favorite venue in my city with so many people screaming for him was something really special. This one was really about US, the fans and louis, i can't say it enough but the crowd was like part of the show too. Also, the big stage, the catwalk, the fireworks, those things made it all so much bigger, like a celebration for where he is now. I'll never forget his face impressed by the crowd like every five seconds, he deserves it all, i love this man to death.

His only wrongs that day tho were wearing that ugly outfit and not singing saturdays on a saturday!!!!

CURITIBA I had slept for like 4 hours, took a flight in the morning and spent the whole day kinda sick and anxious, I really do not know were i took forces to this concert but i did and i gave 200% of myself. I had floor tickets this time so i let myself go and jump around like crazy.

We stayed in the left side of the stage were it was a lot more chill and we could walk around. Most of the time I stayed a bit close to the stage but not so much cause i like having my own space to breath, sometimes I'd get closer to record something. By the encore I found an empty space in the far left of the barricade to see him better during silver tongues.

For me it was the most fun concert, you could see louis was happy, there was a group in front of me dancing and having so much fun together, like he said no one will stand still in a brazilian crowd that's for sure! Also, there was this girl who was talking to us before the concert who found me during the encore and we literally just screamed wdbhg at each other lmao i don't even know her name, but i can't stop thinking about it, it was really funny.

Oh and that outfit!!!! The way i screamed when i saw him in all black, i kept looking at my friends like why the fuck does this man look so good!!! WE WON!!!!

When the barricade moment happened I was only looking at him so I didn't understand what was going on, then by the end my friends said he was with a kid, but only when i got to the apartment we were staying i saw the full context and video, that broke me. He so sweet and precious, it makes everything i did for him so much more worth it than it already was, this plus the donations for Rio Grande do Sul filled my heart with so much love for him.

Also, after the concert we were trying to buy merch, but most sizes were sold out, the line was huge and security was hushing people out of the stadium 🙃 then 10 minutes later we found out louis was playing football at the pitch lmao

Some other points - I absolutely LOVE the stage design, the lights and screens going up and down work so great, it's amazing to witness it live - THE BAND, i don't even need to say anything right? his band is fucking incredible, i live for every single guitar solo from michael - The 2 seconds that takes people to realize that he is singing night changes and wdbhg are the funniest shit istg kskdnkll - People will ask me why I would go to the same concert 3 times, and just istg it IS different, they are all different experiences and i'd do it all over again (which i actually did, cause i saw louis twice and harry 3 times in 2022)

---

Last but not least, i will to speak in portuguese to thank my friends skjndkjsan

Eu sei que ela não vai ler, mas muito obrigada @hiddlestomlinson por aceitar fazer essa maluquice comigo, por vir até SP, ir pra Curitiba e me aturar por 5 dias seguidos, mesmo com tanto cansaço e doença foi tudo maravilhoso 🥹💜

@delicatepointofview de novo, muito obrigada por me ajudar tanto no Rio e pelo ingresso de última hora, mesmo passando por tanta coisa você foi um anjo 🥹 só conseguimos nos ver de longe, desse 🤏 tamanho, mas da proxima vem aí!!

@somuchstrdst e @icouldbeluckyagain amei encontrar e curtir um pouco do show com vocês!! NÓS VENCEMOS MUITO!!! ste, eu ate tava vendo seu recap hoje tomando café da tarde ajksndkjs

[bi-bard]

Sleeping At Last Songs that Would Describe a Relationship with the Eleventh Doctor - Eleventh Doctor Imagine [Doctor Who]

Title: Sleeping At Last Songs that Would Describe a Relationship with the Eleventh Doctor

Pairing: Eleventh Doctor X Reader

Word Count: 1,640 words

Warning(s): mention of major character death [season 7 spoiler]

Author's Note: Ugh. I love him.

------------------------

Saturn

I’d give anything to hear You say it one more time, That the universe was made Just to be seen by my eyes.

The sinking feeling in my stomach grew more and more as I stepped closer to the Pandorica.

The Doctor was tired. Dying.

I understood why he was doing it all, but it didn't change how angry I felt. At the Daleks and the Cybermen and the universe. Anyone and everyone who had some hand in the events that got us here. Including myself. I could've stopped it all if I was just a little bit braver.

The Doctor grinned- or tried to grin at me as I made it over to him. "Hey..."

"Don't do that," I mumbled as I grabbed his hand. I squatted down so I could see him better. "Don't act like nothing bad is happening. You don't have to do that for me. I understand what's going on."

He didn't reply. It may have been the first time that I had seen him be so quiet.

"I don't want this to happen," I said. I felt guilty for saying it. I knew that it was going to only make him feel worse.

"Hey," the hand that I had been holding cupped the side of my face. I held his hand there. "I don't either."

I only wanted to chuckle because he did. Obviously, he didn't want this.

"But I've got a secret," he leaned forward a little bit. "I'm doing this for you."

I closed my eyes for a moment.

"I told you before that you were made to see the universe instead of staying put," he continued. "Who would I be if I let the universe burn before you got to see it all?"

I turned my head to press a kiss to his palm.

"I love you," he added.

I offered him a sad grin. "I love you too. I always will. No matter what."

I saw him flinch a bit where he was sitting. Time was running out. How rude of the damn thing.

I stood up again so I could lean forward and press a kiss to his lips. I leaned back and whispered to him, "Good luck."

"Luck?" he whispered back. "Who needs luck? Not me. I'm brilliant."

I shook my head as I chuckled again.

"Goodbye, (Y/n)."

"Find me, Doctor."

His grin faltered for a moment.

Neither one of us believed that he would make it out of there, but I wanted to hold onto hope. As blind as it may seem. I wanted to believe that he would find his way back to me eventually.

I slowly took a few steps backward to let the doors close.

I felt a hand grab my arm, slowly pulling me further away from it.

I looked over to see Amy offering a small grin. I tried to grin back. It must've not been very convincing because she dragged me into a tight hug a moment later.

I closed my eyes.

This was it.

It was the end of the Doctor and I's story.

For now, at least.

Heart

I'm out of my depth At this altitude Like the world makes sense From your window seat You are beautiful Like I've never seen

I would be lying if finding out about Amy kissing the Doctor didn't break my heart a little bit.

She had been the first person to figure out my feelings for him, so knowing that she simply didn't respect them enough to... control herself hurt.

I wasn't mad at the Doctor. Not even a little bit.

If anything, I almost admired how he handled it. He stopped the moment, found Rory, and tried to make things better. He did the best that he could.

Making things better just also happened to include a trip to Venice.

Amy and Rory ran off on their own.

I chuckled at them as they left. Even after all that had happened, I wanted the pair of them to work out. They seemed good together.

The Doctor and I walked for a while. I was waiting for him to ramble on about the city's construction or tell me some story from before I started traveling with him. But he wasn't. He was oddly quiet. Like he was waiting for me to speak.

I stopped on a stone walkway. I leaned against a pillar and a stone half-wall. I looked out over the water. The Doctor stood next to me, staring out at the water like he was trying to see what I did.

"They'll be okay, right," I asked, looking at him again.

He looked over at me but didn't respond.

"The Ponds, I mean," I explained. "They'll figure it out, right?"

"Absolutely," he said confidently. He took a moment to watch my eyebrow raise. "I hope so."

I nodded, turning to the water.

I could see the Doctor shifting out of the corner of my eye. "Are we okay?"

I furrowed my eyebrows as I turned to him yet again. "Why wouldn't we be?"

The question seemed to make him want to backtrack. "It doesn't matter. It's nothing. Not important. Come on, I'm sure we can find something exciting-"

"No, no, no," I reached over and grabbed his arm as he tried to walk away. "You can't say something like that and then act like nothing happened. You have to explain it."

"I walk away without explaining things all the time."

"When you're info-dumping about different species, yeah, but this is a bit different," I tried to chuckle in some attempt to let him know that it was okay. "Why did you think that we wouldn't be okay?"

The Doctor reached up and placed his hand on my arm. His grin looked sad. I felt my face warming up as I looked down at our hands.

"Please, tell me," it came out closer to a whisper than anything.

His hand fell from mine as he stepped forward. I didn't move mine. My grasp actually tightened on his jacket in the hopes of pulling him closer.

He stepped a matter of inches from me. "Is this okay?"

It took a moment for my brain to even register the question.

I nodded as quickly as I could. Of course, this was okay.

He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. My free hand moved up to cup the side of his face as I kissed him back. His hands touched my sides. I grinned into the kiss.

I leaned back and rested my forehead on his.

"Doctor," I mumbled.

"Yeah?"

"We're definitely okay."

His smile got wider before he laughed at me. I laughed with him, nudging his nose with mine.

This was a feeling that I could get used to.

Two

Like a force to be reckoned with A mighty ocean or a gentle kiss I will love you without any strings attached What a privilege it is to love A great honor to hold you up

It was rare for the TARDIS to feel small.

To be completely honest, I didn't think it possible.

That was before the Doctor and I stopped traveling. Before we found our little place hidden above the rest of the world. Before the Ponds... died.

It was quiet for a long time.

Neither one of us wanted to talk about it. Maybe we were scared that talking about it would make it too real.

I tried to be there for him. He seemed to appreciate it. But still, we couldn't talk about anything that led up to that moment.

There was one day when I decided to end the cycle of him sitting in the console room reading or staring at nothing.

I walked into the room to see him in the same seat he had been in for ages. I took a deep breath as I made my way over to him.

I held out a hand. He stared at it for a moment before looking up at my face.

"Come on," I urged him.

He slowly took my hand and let me pull him out of the console room. "Where are we going?"

"Just wait a moment."

A minute later, I found the door I had been looking for. I silently thanked the ship before opening the door.

"Your room," the Doctor asked.

"My room," I confirmed. "Lay down."

"Why?"

"Because I think doing something other than sitting in the console room will suit you well."

I kicked my shoes off before going to lie down.

The Doctor hadn't moved yet. I opened my arms, making grabby hands at him. A soft grin formed on his lips before he shrugged off his jacket and kicked off his shoes.

I wrapped my arms around him as soon as he laid down. One of my hands found its way to the hair on the nape of his neck. One of his arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer to him.

"You've been so patient with me," he mumbled to me. "I haven't thought about you... what you're going through. I've abandoned you."

"No," I replied. "No, you didn't. You are right here. I am right here. You could have left me. Dropped me off at home and never thought about me again. But you didn't. You let me stay."

He closed his eyes.

I leaned over and kissed his forehead. "I want to take care of you, Doctor. Because I care about you. Because I love you. This is what I want to do, okay? You just need to let me."

His eyes slowly opened. I grinned at him.

"Okay?"

"Okay."

I leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips.

For now, this was enough for me to have a little bit of peace.

I just hoped that he felt the same way.

------------------------

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[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #90

I'm not really sure what to write to you about today. I think I might have overextended myself in recent days, and once more I'm finding that my brain feels like soup. The sense of not really belonging in this place is hitting me kinda hard today, I guess. Suppose you would know a lot about what that's like.

Truth is, I struggle often enough with the way I perceive the world around me. I do it weirdly (much like how I do literally everything else... sigh...). I'm not gonna bother to articulate how, though; I doubt you'd be interested anyway. Fact remains that there ain't a whole lot of folks I can talk to about it; even if I could, most wouldn't understand, so why bother. Suppose it is what it is though; no sense in bellyaching. I just wish that it was a thing that could be measured, recorded, corroborated. Something that could be rationalized, explained, made logical. My mind tends to despise uncertainties; it likes everything to be concretized and nailed down.

…Ah well.

Like yesterday, today was busy, and also painful, thanks to Physical Therapy. There's weird stuff going on with the right side of my jaw, and the muscles holding it together needed to be mashed up with metal implements. I guess I'm gonna need braces sooner rather than later, because I really needed braces as a kid, but I didn't get 'em, and now my bite is all messed up, which means now my jaw is all messed up, and having the jaw messed up pulls on the neck, which then pulls on the ribs, and my ribs being weird is why I've been dealing with limited ability to use my right arm for the last almost two years to begin with, but I hesitate to get it fixed because braces cost a LOT of money, and I think most insurances won't cover the cost of it this late in life, so… it's a mess.

My whole existence is kind of a mess in a variety of respects, and… ya know. Sometimes I'm not sure why I bother persisting when all of it seems kind of like a farce; I live in a defective body on a dying planet where everyone is so traumatized that lots of 'em believe that killing each other is the answer to all their problems. Sometimes I just... don't wanna. Waking up in the morning in a world where there is no ethical way to maintain the integrity of my physical vessel seems like a chore.

…But then I remember that there are people who like having me around, even if I can't understand why most of the time. So I gotta believe that something good might come of my derping around on this mossy wet rock hurtling through space, even if I don't yet know what it is.

You ever get the feeling like there's something you're supposed to be doing, but you have no idea what it is, and you're running out of time? Feels like that almost constantly for me. If you know what that's like and know how to deal with it, lemme know, willya? I could use some pointers.

In the meantime… there's some stuff I've been meaning to learn how to do. I'm not gonna tell you what it is just yet, because it would ruin the surprise. But I hope the results will be good, if I can stop being intimidated long enough to get the gumption.

Anyway… Sephiroth. My brain continues to be soup. I think if I keep going, I'm just gonna keep rambling. I'm tired, but… I wanted to write anyway, because you're worth others' effort, even when they're feeling weird. But it's time to stop for today, because I'm having trouble staying on topic and stringing cohesive ideas together.

Please stay safe out there, okay? I don't wanna endure your absence, just like the folks who love me don't wanna endure mine. So let's both keep trying our best to keep our chins up and our eyes on the horizon, okay?

I'll leave you with this today:

I know you're not a little girl, so maybe you can think "little one" instead. Please take the overall message to heart. Please do your best to remain kind and gentle, no matter what tries to come along and break you.

I'll write again soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[occasionallyprosie]

Nah, I don't mind rambling it's just longer than replies on Tumblr will allow.

The wonderful and difficult thing about First is there is not much to go off of even for someone who read First's story in Hyrule Historia. And there's only a few people who have roped him in so it's not like there's a wealth of fannon to build from either.

I personally see him as heartbreakingly tragic. Guy tried to fight evil and ended up locked in a dungeon for years. He was finally freed only when Demise was already a huge problem and could honestly have been so bitter for it. Dude was asked to lead the people when he'd spent years being left to rot. Add to that the goddesses loftwing (who looks a lot like Crimson) basically challenged him of "Are you worthy to be my rider?" And he still tried. He still died defending the people while Hylia raised Skyloft above the cloud barrier. He could have been "look, y'all want me to save you, but you made me so I can't. Maybe I could have (and been willing to) if I hadn't been chained in a dungeon for years..." But he had people he loved enough to go fight even though he had no chance.

@bokettochild has a wonderful characterization of First in her Blood Between Us series. I know she also is rewriting it but seeing First interact with the heroes was one of my first fics where they included him. He's so observant and almost unnervingly accurate of the heroes that get dumped in his lap.

I need to catch up on @adrift-in-thyme 's Give the Lion Fangs but everything else I've read by them is amazing.

And I still didn't answer all the questions but if you're looking for First content, I think I have one more fic rec with his direct characterization in it and one where they paint Warriors in a similar light as a sort of becoming First or channeling him... I don't know it tickles something at the back of my brain Involving First but that's so probably partly because First has a scarf but his is red.

Wow, thank you! That's some great thought food.

Yeah, most of the things I see of First is some mix of Legend, Time, and Warriors. He's got that sense of jadedness usually associated with Legend and Time, he's got that sense of duty where he'd do what's asked of him no matter its effects on him(like every Link). From what I've been looking through, he's very much a Link, and it makes sense seeing as he's their predecessor. The difference is that the first and main source of his trauma and struggles are the people he's called to protect, and yet he still protects them and gives his life for them even after all they'd done to him. A kind man would've turned his back, yet First didn't.

I did love the characterization of First in The Blood Between Us, it leans more into the jadedness that I think would set First apart from the others. Even Time and Legend, who in canon and fanon are the most jaded, don’t compare to what I'm seeing and working on making First into. He's tired, he's seen not just the worst of the darkness in the world (Demise) but some of the worst of the world itself, humans included. But he hasn't just seen it, he's experienced it.

Tell me if I'm wrong, because I have limited experience with anything related to First

But as I see it, he has that unbreakable hero's spirit, but he is broken. He's lost hope in humanity itself, the people are who he will protect but he doesn't hold any hope or trust in them. He still fights, and he will always fight (he is reincarnated to fight again and again), he will always protect the people of hyrule, he will serve his purpose. He will get up no matter what happens to him, he's unbreakable in that sense just like every single one of his reincarnations, but he has broken in that he can't truly trust or believe in anyone but himself and his goddess.

[bygiornogiovanna]

Hello, how have you been? I humbly invade your ask yet again for a yandere Giorno request because we crave your content like fuel.We stan your works in here religiously😤 But no rush obviously, and of course only if u wish to do so

Can we have a darling who is in awe with Gold Experience? Not only is darling fond of him but wants to physically show affection like holding hands and hugging? How would Giorno react?

Yandere! Giorno x GN! Reader who likes G.E.R

A/N: Hands down my most loved request I got since I started. It's the second time I write this since tumblr trolled me and didn't save my progress. Anyways I'm extremely tired (only exaggerating, I'm just normally tired) so I hope I can still meet your expectations (this is kinda really crack so enjoy xd) :D

You've been in this mansion for a few months, in which you had multiple (failed) escaping attempts. You honestly didn't hate this place as much as you should, and neither hated its owner.

Your...boyfriend, also known as Giorno Giovanna, you two had a more 'special' relationship. More like he was your kidnapper and you had to deal with him daily because no way in hell he was going to let you go.

Moving on, as a stand user, you tried to attack him once or twice so you could escape, but to no avail. He was stronger than you and had more fighting experience, resulting in Gold Experience Requiem defeating you both times.

To be honest, you were absolutely flabbergasted when you found out he had a stand too. And you were even more shocked when you realized you grew fond of GER. It was something about that stand that attracted you, and not in a love-like way. You just wanted to hug that stand and spend time with him, even if that meant spending time with Giorno.

Actually, you didn't have something against the blonde, he was always nice to you and never hurt you (except when you tried to hurt him or escape), so you couldn't say you hated him. You could say you considered him rather attractive than not. But what you like the most about him was his stand.

"Giornooo, can I see GER again?" you said, clinging onto his arm. "Y/N, amore, you saw my stand two hours ago, why is it necessary to see it so often?" Giorno said, caressing your hair. He honestly didn't know how to feel about this. The man liked that you offered him this much attention and he surely loved that you liked his stand, which was basically him.

But, it really felt weird to watch you want to give physical affection to his stand. "I don't know, I just feel connected to your stand. Can't tell you why exactly, but I want to see him againnn." you shrugged and whined, making Giorno roll his eyes.

"Fine. But you do know that liking my stand means liking me too, don't you?" he raised an eyebrow while revealing his stand and you giggled, taking GER's hand in yours. "It's not the case, I think. I'm not sure if I like you." You joked, making him take a deep breath.

"It doesn't make sense. You can't like the manifestation of my soul but not like me. Doesn't work like that, darling" he stated, making you roll your eyes. You chose to ignore him and play with his stand's hand, making him scrunch his nose in annoyance.

"Can you stop ignoring me and play with my stand like I'm not here? I feel everything you do!" Giorno said angrily and retracted his stand. Was he really jealous of his stand? "Noo, bring him back!" you whined and he nodded his head negatively.

"No, you're not seeing GER until you learn to give me attention too!..." he started rambling and, after a two seconds long pause, "Am I jealous of my own stand? Yes. Is it stupid? Also yes. Do I care? Absolutely not."

Seeing him get so worked up over nothing made you start laughing uncontrollably. "Nah, no way you are jealous of your stand." you say after two minutes of laughing, making him sigh. "Leave me alone, you are the one obsessed with me."

"You are the one that kidnapped me." you replied and he rolled his eyes. "Irrelevant."

"Come here little baby." you rolled your eyes back at him and hugged him.

[3nigm4art]

Enigma, The Machine’s Masterpost

Ok, there’s a lot that I have to talk about, brace yourselves

Art stuff

La Gloire à mes genoux

Take Me Out

Detroit Become Human AU

Disco Elysium styled Q

Bond/Alec collab #1

Sandman AU

Lineless

Paper

Villain!Q comic

One line

Vampire

Shapeshifter!Alec

Leyendecker Q

Black and white

Paper gun

Elf!Q

Take care of yourself

Bond/Alec collab #2

Sketch dump

Bladerunner 2049

Goldo/Silver (Emilia's OC) collab

Merman

Wizard

Pixie

The Yellow King

Engie!Q

One day I'll return to your side

A KNIFE!

Alec/Boris

Silent fury

TOTK 00Q

Mood indigo

ポルノグラファー

透明人間18号

Be water, my friend

The Little Prince

I don't want to set the world on fire

00QAD chat night doodle

I never say goodbye

Quatre mains

Chess Grandmaster

Fics

I'm so sick and tired

Linked haiku

Non-art things

Incorrect quote 1

Incorrect quote 2

Incorrect quote 3

Incorrect quote 4

Incorrect quote 5

Q cosplay

Total points: 1470

!!!Rambling ahead!!!

So, I was captain for team villain this year, and I'm probably the youngest captain there ever was lmao. I tried my best and I hope I did ok.

But here's basically how my leadership went throughout fest

Yeah...

Prompt table ramble

I also made a prompt table. The "art challenges" one and surprise surprise, it's difficult. But when I made it, each square had a goal in mind.

Black and White only: the goal was to strengthen your sense for light and shadow.

One continuous line: Strength sense for form, some what like a blind-contour

Draw in a different style: Forcing you to do art studies

Based on a painting: Also forcing you to do art studies

3 colours only: Value studies

10 minutes: speeeeeeeed

Use a different medium: break your habit of using the same thing over and over again

Yeah. I was lowkey worried that no one was gonna do this table.

Art stuff ramble

I have made so much this year. And I have thoroughly enjoyed making people cry with my art. I don't wanna explain anything lmaoooo (I'm so tired).

Closing remarks

As of writing this, I'm recovering from a cold. I'm very tired, constantly sleeping at some ungodly hour.

I feel like I've improved a lot in terms of art. i pushed myself in terms of quality, but I am really tired.

I need sleep. I have a flight to catch tonight.

Thank you to everyone who have participated 007 fest 2023.

[skellagirl]

I am, as usual, late lol, but Y'KNOW. This is gonna be a long, rambly post lol, sorry, I have a lot of thoughts.

2023 was a weird year for me, artwise. When it began I was still deep in my Art Block From Hell, which had begun in mid-2021 and lasted the entirety of 2022.

Being in the thick of such a ridiculously suffocating art block, for TWO AND A HALF YEARS, is like... I can't describe how fucking life-draining it is. It felt like something was fundamentally wrong with me -- like a part of me, which used to be as effortless as breathing or blinking my eyes, had ceased to function altogether. It wasn't just a regular art block, it was a complete identity crisis. I could no longer trust the instincts I'd honed over twenty-plus years, could no longer trust my sense of observation or my ability to recreate what I saw. I felt BROKEN, and every single time I picked up my tablet pen it was like I was scraping my insides with a spoon, trying to pick up whatever tiny dregs of dried-up, crusty shit I could manage to puke up onto my canvas. It was fucking painful and humiliating and completely demoralizing.

I'm not really sure what finally got me to do so, but sometime in summer (my memory is shit lol) I downloaded Game Maker, found a video tutorial on youtube, and just... gave myself over to it. I made myself learn how to use Aseprite, and working with pixels, making teeny-tiny little sprites, forced me to work in ways I usually don't. It was a lot harder for me to find the flaws in my art when my art was thirty-five pixels tall and the anatomy was stylized to communicate clear information rather than be a recreation or approximation of reality. I think I really do credit that time working on game dev as the thing that finally cracked loose all the gunk that was keeping me stuck -- I could not perpetuate the cycle of toxicity I'd fallen into because I could barely even conceptualize what 'good' or 'bad' pixel art even looked like lol. I just knew that I was making art, and for the first time in two years, it didn't feel like I was having to desperately beg the emaciated husks of my sense of self-worth and confidence to cooperate while doing so.

(I actually sort of abandoned my foray into game dev around August/September lol, as my adhd-brain, flitting around like a little hummingbird to every dopamine-rich-flower, is wont to do 🥲 But I wanna get back into it at some point!)

From there I had a rush of inspiration for an original project I've been mulling around in my head for years, and I wrote thousands of words in my worldbuilding document, made a map, developed the shell of a possible actual STORY. I returned to sketching. Conventional sketching. It was, at first, largely still comprised of that same demotivating struggle against myself, but I was so deep in the throes of inspiration (after several years of this project laying dormant in my google drive) that I NEEDED to sketch. So I kept going. And after a while, it got....... easier. And I started hating everything I made a little less. I painted, properly, for the first time in years. I stayed up late into the night, even if it meant I would be tired at work the next day, because drawing felt so damn GOOD again and I had missed that feeling so much. All I wanted to do was draw. For the first time in two and a half years, I could finally see the light at the end of the fucking tunnel.

I still don't think I'm quite out of the woods yet. My style is changing, as all artists' styles do over time, and that comes with stumbling adjustments. My confidence is still small and shaky and recovering; I still catch myself second-guessing what I've drawn, and even looking at some of the things here on my grid makes me cringe a little bit for one reason or another.

But compared to both 2021 and 2022, the volume of art, and in particular the volume of art I don't actively despise, is WAY higher, and I'm really really hopeful that that means I'm finding my footing again.

So! Here's to 2024, and to continuing to move towards the light at the end of the tunnel 🙏🌟 I'm gonna try.

[dailyrothko]

Hi there! I can't begin to explain how much I love your blog and your work; Rothko has been one of my all-time favorite painters for a very long time, and it's heartwarming and awesome to see that there's a fanbase for his art on Tumblr. I also very much appreciate your recent "mythbusting" post and your comments on AI art; I think it's important to distinguish all the ways in which human-made art -- and Rothko's work in particular -- supersedes the composites made by AI; I feel like some people will use AI art to further belittle or discredit the merits of Rothko's work or the work of other color field artists, and that's just a really tiring dialogue to be a part of by now. Thank you for your insight on museum lighting and presentation & how these factors affect Rothko's color relationships! That stuff is really interesting to think about; kind of characterizes his work in a state of flux, always. I especially love the added dimension of texture in his paintings; seeing his work in person and close up reveals all these little details, textures, varied terrains -- it's really something else. Sorry for the rambling, but I have a question you might be able to help me with -- do you have any insight into why Rothko often left his pieces untitled? His early work typically has titles, but the better part of his "classic" work, the large color field paintings, are almost always "Untitled." I always wondered about that. In any case, I hope you have a great day and thanks again for running your blog!

Thank you for the very kind words and thoughtful message.

I'm answering this publicly because it contains questions other may be interested in but please message me if you'd like it taken down, I don't wish to violate anyone's privacy.

People who harp on the AI thing I believe can't have seen too much art in museums. No matter where AI art is going it doesn't look remotely like painting unless it's small, low resolution and only seen on a computer. I believe that last detail is very important. Anyone who has ever had anything printed or even blogged can tell you how much is lost in resolution, texture and detail when compared with an original. AI art has no tactile quality and also is taken from other pictures of paintings, in a sense becoming a picture of a picture of a picture.

People love to harp on the "It fooled someone" idea but terrible art forgeries have been fooling people for centuries. Hans Van Meegeren doesn't look anything like Vermeer but managed to fool the art world, mostly I think because there's so much desire to believe in the thing you think is going to make you rich or famous or important that it blinds people to what is in front of them.

In terms of the lack of titles on Rothko's paintings, it's because Rothko sought to remove any associations people would have with his work going in. He wanted the viewer to see what they saw, to bring themselves to it and nothing else. It's the same reason he constantly claimed any label about his art was inaccurate. He did not frame his paintings either during most of his career.

So, I think what you're observing is an evolution of Rothko trying to minimize any bias or label that someone might confront his art with, and if he could have controlled that even further, I am pretty sure he would have.

Thanks again for your nice note.

[bonesandthebees]

New rose chapter!!!!! Oh my gosh!!! I can’t express how excited I was to see that! I had just finished rereading glass yesterday and remembered how you told me I could subscribe to your ao3 to get notified— I very much did not expect to get an email notification the day after I subscribed (especially since it’s the first time I subscribe to an author and I wasn’t sure what the supposed notification email would look like)

I loved it a lot though, I’m so excited to be reading as the chapters come out for the first time even though I’m not used to not being able to read everything at once. I reread your big fics so so often that with your writing atp I’m used to doing my best to forget as many details and scenes so I can reread them time and time again and enjoy them a million times over but I always already know the direction it’s going in and what will be revealed and what the ending will be. But with this it’s the first time in a while again that I get to enjoy one of your big fics and I really don’t know anything about what’s going to happen, let alone the fact everyone else reading as well also doesn’t know what’s going to happen. It’s super fun and I’ve really been enjoying it so far!

I am always in awe as to how distinct you make each of your characters in every fic while still keeping the core of them consistently feel like *them*. It’s amazing to me seeing just how powerful the dynamics are that they are rewritten in so many different ways yet it’s still them, and I’ll always be impressed with how you manage to make each of them unique to each fic. I remember a whiiile ago when I was first reading your other long fics apart from clinic a friend asked me if I was doing it to pretend I was reading more of the characters in clinic and I was so surprised because it never even crossed my mind due to how vastly unique and separate they are from eachother. Like yeah, I’m still reading crimeboys— but even within world forgetting and clinic where they’re the same genre of au (and on top of that, both from Tommy’s pov) they’re so different and I’ll never get tired of it.

Anyways, I feel bad for how much I’ve rambled on now so I’ll end this here— in conclusion: love your writing and it was a great treat to get to read a new rose chapter :) !! Hope you have an incredible time next month :D

XIMA!!! omg that's so perfect I updated the day after you subbed to me. well now you know what the email looks like! you'll get one of those anytime I post anything to my ao3 now :)

I'm so glad you're enjoying reading along this time around!! though of course it makes me so happy to hear you reread my other big fics all the time and still enjoy them. I do also think there's something fun about reading along as an author posts. it's kind of like following a weekly tv show except instead of getting a new chapter every week right now my schedule is looking more like... once a month. oops. but it keeps you in suspense!

god that makes me so happy to hear. I always try very hard to make sure the characters feel distinct while still feeling like the same characters. I'm sure some bits feel repetitive after a while (like my routine for crimeboys bonding is pretty straightforward at this point I feel) but I try my best to make them as new and interesting as I can while still staying true to the core of the characters. like my different au characters all feel incredibly different from one another while still being the same characters in general. like I guess the closest two are stars!wilbur and rose!wilbur but even then they still have pretty distinct differences. but like clinic!wilbur is vastly different from like, most of my other fic!wilburs imo so while your friend is incredibly valid for wondering that it also makes zero sense to me lol

never feel bad for rambling in my inbox xima this made me so happy to see tysm. I'm so happy you're enjoying rose so far!!! and ty I'm very excited for my trip :D

[suhjihanma]

What's your fantasy?

Pairing: Ran Haitani / Black!Female Reader (Rindou Haitani, Manjiro Sano)

Words: 1,431 words

Content: Bonten arc, black fem!reader, implied illegal drug use/alcohol use, slight mentions of carrying illegal weapons, mention of foursome scenes, foreplay, nipple play, dirty talk, mention of using toys, implying of facesitting, anal stimulation, and rough sex.

Author's Note: Another night of typing of some rambling. Hope y'all enjoy this piece like always. (Been thinking about making this a series) Also, for some reason I love writing stories based on the Bonten arc. Maybe because I'm a sucker for dark content but, oh well. Thank you guys for the follow, once again, and every like and reblog is appreciated. This is my first week as a writing blog and I'm grateful that you guys like and share my work. Once again, thank you guys. I appreciate it.

The touch of silky thighs that lingered with the scent of cocoa butter drapes over the man, who was currently lost in the pages. Slowly turning the pages, the man took a deep breath, thighs rising along with his shoulders. Teasing was all part of the plan, let alone something that you played with well.  

There’s nothing like playing with a man’s senses. Especially with one that can melt between your fingertips.  

Struggling to get out of your unforgiving grasp, Ran turns around to face you, with a teasing smirk on your face as a greeting. He couldn’t help but let out an air-like chuckle as he placed the book on the coffee table. As he continues to laugh at your attempts at seduction, you couldn’t help but slowly brush one of your toes in the back of his ears in retaliation. The sensation threw his laughter off as a small choke was caught between his vocals. You smiled to yourself, knowing you got him right where you wanted him to be. How could such a person like him be able to fall under your touch, from your fingers to your toes? A simple question can be answered with actions as Ran smiled at you, heightening awareness in his eyes.  

“When are they going to be here, baby?” You cooed; a small pout was forming on your lips as you looked at Ran. Excitement overflowing, you couldn’t help but feel anxious. Of all the things you were familiar with, this was something you were unfamiliar with.  

It all started on a conversation about fantasies, and you couldn’t keep your mouth closed as you wanted to experience being taken at once by several men. Men that can break you. Men that can make your orgasms feel like you’re drowning in a sea of bliss while rising like a phoenix engulfed with pleasure. Ran headed your suggestion to his brother, “wanting to spice things up” or so he calls it. You remember the tightness that formed from your neck as he made that suggestion. Not to mention the familiar pit that swells in between your legs while thinking about the different positions you might get held in from the two of them.  

It would be a beautiful sight to see. It would also be beautiful to act upon that fantasy now.  

You were not a woman of patience. Ran could also tell as he felt you tugging at his shirt, anxiousness and excitement roamed through the room as he tried to calm you down. “They’ll be here in a minute, ____. Have some patience.” Looking over the book that he placed on the table, Ran suggested, “Maybe you should read a book to kill the time?” Looking over as well you let out a scoff before plopping back down on the sofa. “Is it good?” Ran walked over to you sinking in the sofa. Sitting down, he brought your body close to him, a faint heartbeat overlapped with the background noises in the room as you steadily listened. Soothing, your eyes start to feel heavy as you blinked, but Ran’s voice woken your tired trance.  

“Not as good as you, baby.” The voice draped in smoothness; Ran placed a kiss on your forehead before burying your face in your neck, gently scraping his teeth across your fine, sensitive skin. Shivers slowly appeared as you couldn’t help but giggle from the touch of his teeth. ‘Ran, it tickles.” You chuckled, trying to get away from his gentle torturing of your skin. “Aw, baby.” Ran voice tuned towards disappointment but then continues to scrape his teeth, now suckling in random areas of your neck. “You can’t be running when they get here now.” An expression that can be seen slyer was shown on Ran’s face.  

“Now, what would Mikey do if he saw you running away from us, hm?” Ran questions turns into a silk-driven drawl as he continues to suckle your nourished skin, practically thirsting for you to shiver under his lips. A small moan was let out in response. The leg trick always works, but now it seems like your cards are not in your hold. Some might see it as the usual “fight for dominance” but more or less, it was a fight to see which person had the upper hand regarding sensual conversations.  

“Ran, please.” You complained. His kisses didn’t help at all, and you were at his mercy, from his warm lips downward to his slim, yet firm hands exploring your thighs. His touches were an invitation to more, and yet you let him explore your body. Being sensitive to a man’s touch, you could almost curse yourself for giving into Ran’s enticing, but the feeling never got old.  

After all, your body is a temple to Bonten.  

“Please, what?” He questioned. His hands were slowly rising towards your chest, both of his hands were starting to caress your fully endowed chest. Aching with sensitivity, you couldn’t help but to let out a small cry as you lower your head that was circling with frustration. You were about to reply until he started to circle your clothed nipples with his fingers, slowly going over the clothed bumps that were around the nipples, to even pinch the nubs between his fingers. Ran wasn’t helping your frustration at all. It was as almost he didn’t listen to your words of stammer as he continued to play with your breasts, enjoying the weight that was nested well in the palm of his hands.  

“Have Rindou and I treat you like the filthy slut you are? Is that what you want?” Ran looks over the marks that were left from your neck and looked at your clothed back. Ideas started to trickle through the conversation as he continued to describe your tortuous event with the men. You couldn’t see it in his face, but you could tell that he was enjoying himself. A fine woman like yourself was in the presence of a man who could take control. It wasn’t just the influence of being in one of Japan’s most notorious organizations, it was learning that Ran could take control anywhere. 

From the streets, and into the bedroom. Quite Literally.  

“Let’s see...” Ran now looks at your backside that was fully covered in fine curves, just that a pair of shorts were hiding beneath. The fixation of your ass, the curves that dip from the sides, your neck plastered with teeth marks, it only made Ran more descriptive in his nature of conversing in dirty talk. 

 “Rindou can let you sit on his face while I eat you out of your ass.”  

The sentences come more like a drawl as Ran continues on. 

“Or have Mikey instruct us on what to do with you. His words and we all have to agree with them. He might have Rindou use a vibrator on your clit while he instructs me to fuck you deep into your walls.” Ran lets out a soft grunt before looking at you with a small smirk, waiting for your response. You now looked over at Ran with parted lips. Wanting more, you couldn’t help but to place your hand on his upper thighs, slowly rubbing them to entice him more with your touching.  

“Oh, Ran-” Before you confessed about not wanting to be any more patient, a door opens from the outside.  

“Yo, we’re here!” Rindou announces himself from the front door.  

“Ran, do you know where’d you place the papers at? The grinder, too, for that matter.” Mikey questions Ran from the outside area.  

Both men didn’t know that you were here, being seduced and torn to bits by his words. You wanted to shout a reply, move, do something to get out this troubling spell but, Ran had you locked in with his touch. His words. His everything. It’s intoxicating, like his fine whiskey collection, but it leaves you warm inside and out.  

You looked at Ran who looked over the small table in the corner with the clutter of unorganized shells and unregistered guns. Such a random thought but, you always have wondered how Bonten got weapons inside Japan. Never you questioned their choice of protection, but it seemed like a hassle.  

Like every criminal organization, they do have their connections.  

“Ah, there was the stuff that Mikey mentioned.” Ran noticed the grinder and papers that were nearby the table and you looked over as well before letting out a small sigh, bracing yourself for what is bound to happen.  

You just pray that they’ll go easy on you for today.  

[greypetrel]

26 for Raina and happy Friday!

Hi Mo, happy next Friday to you!

Super-duper late, but I hope you’ll like it anyway. Merrill finds a stray raccoon on the street and bring her home, back in Act 1.

Tis the prompt list.

Must be you.

"I'm sorry you had to see me like that."

“Hawke!”

She didn’t notice the twine. She wasn’t noticing much of anything, except that the corner between two walls she was resting in was more comfortable than her bed in Gamlen’s house. Sure it was less crowded and loud, the smell was debatable. She was sleepy, and she knew she shouldn’t fall asleep. But she was so tired…

“Sylaise’enaste, Hawke, can you hear me?” The voice said, as a hand rested on her shoulder and the other patted her cheek, with more force than one should. It wasn’t delicate, and it made her wince in pain.

“Sorry! I’m sorry… Creators, is that blood?”

Ah. Yes, it was. She hadn’t had the time to actually notice much of it, right now her head felt light and she couldn’t concentrate well. She recognized the voice as Merrill. Yes, that was Merrill, she lived in the alienage that wasn’t that distant… Or so she hoped: Raina had been walking towards her house when her head had started to spin and she fell onto her butt, crawling in a corner to rest a little before making the rest of the way. How much time had passed?

Two arms snaked under her armpits, moving her torso forward and up, with a loud huff of complaint. The elf hauled her up, wobblying and faltering under her weight: she was shorter than her, and lithely built, not used to carry heavy weights nor people around.

“Hawke, do you hear me?” Merrill huffed. “Can you… Can you stand? Please…”

“My legs are wobbly.” She said, trying to stand on her own made her head spin, and blood stopped reaching her eyes for a while. “Must be you.”

“Me?!” Merrill squeaked, shifting with difficulty on her side, still sustaining her as she pulled Raina’s arm over her shoulders and grabbed her waist. “What did I do? Did I… You tripped on my twine, didn’t you? Oh, I told Varric it was a terrible idea…”

The concern in her voice was genuine, and in a better moment Raina would have felt a little guilty of teasing her. They haven’t known each other for so long, and even if they were in good terms... But she wasn’t in a better moment, and her thoughts worked funny, and it seemed crazily funny and clever.

“A cute, pretty girl hauling me up? Enough to make a girl swoon, you see.”

“I’m not-” A pause. The world was deliciously spinning. “-you’re joking.”

“I always am. But I do think you’re pretty.” Raina said, light-heartedly. And light-headedly, she didn’t really know where they were going, she just felt drowsy and followed Merrill around: with her help walking wasn’t half that bad. “Do I put you ill at ease?”

“N-no. But it’s better if you keep talking, I guess, your head looks really bad.”

“Ouch!”

“Creators! Not in that sense!”

Laughing hurt, but Raina did anyway, grunting in pain right after. It made her want to laugh more, if only. Caught in a never-ending circle of hurting and laughing, Raina just took her time to tell the elf to please don’t bring her home. Not in that state.

“Why not? I don’t know many healing spells, Garrett and Bethany-”

“My mother would kill me.” She laughed again, grimacing right after. “She hates when I get beaten up and… And please, take me to the Hanged Man, I’ve got some coin in my pocket for a room… Or well, I had them, I think.”

Merrill didn’t say anything at that. She didn’t reply, and Raina honestly was too dazed to really get where they were going, or to check if she did make some sense in her rambling. She didn’t want to see her mother in that condition, that she was sure of. Staying awake was difficult, she didn’t need the extra pressure of her mother fussing over her and complaining because look at where her brilliant ideas brought her.

And indeed, look at where her brilliant ideas brought her: forcing a relatively new friend to keep her awake, struggling under her weight as she tries not to make the pair of them fall to their doom down a flight of stairs. They made it eventually to the little house that Merrill was occupying, and Raina was left there on her own, sitting down somewhere, not that she minded much the place right there and then, as the elf ran outside to fetch… Something. Or someone, Raina didn’t really understand well. The world was spinning too much, and truth to be told the woman was too confused and drowsy to really think for more than following instructions. It could have been five minutes or five hours when Merrill got back with a healer, and they started fussing over her.

Actually, she protested the fuss, complaining as best as she could that it was too much over her and she just needed to sleep it off, she was fine.

“You’re not fine, serrah. You lost too much blood and you should pray your skull hasn’t broken.”

“Lucky, then, my head is very hard.”

“I can see it.”

And indeed, her head proved to be hard enough: the bone wasn’t broken, she just bumped it very hard -she couldn’t recall exactly against where or how, just that it hurt a lot. Alongside that, a couple of broken ribs and a good deal of other cuts and minor injuries around her body. For Raina, it was all in a haze, she just protested a little when they tried to move her, because movement made her head spin and made her nauseous. The worst of the nausea, tho, came from the herbs that the healer collected and started treating to make a poultice. The smell smelled revolting, and as much as she tried to keep it in, her stomach twisted and turned so much that she met with her dinner all over again, turning abruptly to maybe avoid the healer. She felt warm hands on her shoulder and back, patting soothingly, and Merrill shushing her and saying it was all right.

In the dizziness of everything, she felt shame and a pang of blame that was all what Leandra would have told her: and right then and there, she was very prone to give her right.

They patched her up and she let them, too tired and ashamed to put up a fight or a brave face. Her head was bandaged and cleaned, a bad cut on her left ribcage sewn shut, and between the two of them they managed to bring her in the other room, and in Merrill’s bed. Raina protested weakly to that, but she was too weak to put up a resistance. As soon as her head was lain on the pillow, she fell asleep.

---

When Raina woke up, her head was pounding badly, and some noises from somewhere around her made the pressure get worse. She opened her eyes and tried to blink sleep away, rubbing them with a -bandaged- hand to make her vision less blurry than it was. When it cleared enough to recognize her surroundings, the first thing that came to her mind was that she wasn’t in her bed.

All alarm bells in her head started to trill, and she jumped up on the bed… And had to place both hands on the mattress beside her thighs, because her head started spinning wildly, and her stomach painfully twisted on itself with nausea. Someone took her trousers off and she didn’t think she could stand, let alone get away from… Wherever she was, she couldn’t really remember much about yesterday evening, after those thugs caught her as she was walking home.

Daggers. She had to find her daggers and maybe-

“Oh, you’re awake! Thank Sylaise!”

To her right, Merrill popped in the room, moving a cloth that made for a door and smiling at her. Too bright and too happy, her voice was too shrill and only added to Raina’s headache. Nonetheless, it made her relax instantly, as memories from the night before started to return. Slowly and with difficulty, catching some glimpses was like trying to move through mud.

“I wouldn’t exactly thank her, it doesn’t really feel good, being awake…”

“I’d bet!” She giggled, hopping in the room and sitting on the bed beside her. “You were pretty battered down yesterday, you know.”

“Yeah, somehow I figured it out…”

She let Merrill place a hand over her brow -her fingers were very delicate, and pleasantly cool against her skin, and she sighed at the contact. The elf bid her to return to bed and stay there, and even tucked her in again. Raina protested the thing, saying she wasn’t a child, and it made Merrill laugh, batting off her hand and tucking her in anyway. It was no trouble, the elf said, and somehow the human had not in her to deny it any further. Even if the more she was awake, the more memories got back to her about what exactly happened. It was still all fuzzy and cloudy but…

Merrill got back into the room when Raina let out a long, dragged groan, remembering what happened. The flirting and the puking, in particular. She met her with both her hands covering her face -she could feel bandages over the left side of her head, but didn’t bother to check if they were dry or soaked through. One thing at a time, maybe losing more blood would have eased the pang of guilt that she felt.

“What is it, Hawke? Do you feel so bad?” Merrill said, kneeling beside her, a ceramic mug held in both her hands.

“I’m sorry.”

“About what? Here, drink… Tomas said to make you drink when you woke up.” She took one of Raina’s hands in hers and closed her fingers, always very delicately, over the mug.

Raina sat up, carefully and slowly not to pour the content all over herself and the sheets -she just missed to force poor Merrill to change them and wash not one but two pairs of them. And as she sipped slowly the water, not to trigger any more nausea than what she was feeling, she slowly replied.

“I’m sorry you had to see me like that, I…” She sighed, deeply. Thinking was difficult, and finding words was like fishing in a frozen lake. “… I’m sorry if I puked on your… Tell me it was the floor and not the bed, please.”

“Don’t mention it!” Merrill giggled again. What was that she found funny? “It was no trouble, really.”

“Tell me I didn’t say anything stupid or too forward.” She groaned again, not finding it particularly funny.

“You were very confused, Hawke, don’t worry. It was no trouble.”

“It was. I occupied your bed the whole… What time is it?”

“It’s the afternoon. You can stay here this night as well, I don’t mind. I placed a cot before the fire, I sleep there anyway when it’s too cold.”

Merrill was happy. Too happy and easygoing for Raina’s taste, and… It was weird. She was kind and gentle, but they weren’t acquainted for so long. Was it normal between elves? Was it her? Or…

“Did you need something from me?” Raina asked, turning to look at the elf, suspiciously.

She was there, smiling happily at her, and just frowned in confusion at the question, the tattoos on her brow scrunching up. It was cute.

“What? No! Why would I need something from you?” She thought about it and continued right after “Is it a human custom I’m not acquainted about? Should I… ask for something now or wait for you to get better?”

And now there were two confused people in the room. Well, that was funny. Raina stopped to look at Merrill, Merrill kept her eyes and… And Raina started to laugh, hard and loud. Or well, she would have, if a wound on her side hadn’t started to pull pretty annoyingly with the movement, and her ribs themselves as well. She curled on herself soon after, groaning in pain.

“Hawke!”

“Oh shit.”

“You should rest, Tomas said to let you rest plenty.”

“I should go back, tho.”

“Nonsense! I don’t mind having you around, really! I…” She sighed, looking down and falling back on her heels. “…I like it here, but it feels a little lonely. I never had that much space on my own, you see. In the clan there was always someone around.”

There was something, about Merrill, that tugged at something deep inside Raina. It wasn’t anything maternal, no, that was reserved for Garrett and Bethany. No, it was… Something that relaxed her. Maybe it was how earnest she was, pushing her to be as well. Raina couldn’t say. What she could do, was showing interest.

“Oh? One would assume that living in the wild made up for more space than in the Alienage…”

“Yes, but no.” She giggled. “It’s not very wise to roam on your own in the wilderness. Bears are not friendly. And aravels are rarely occupied by just one person. I shared the one with the Keeper, as her First and with none of us bonded. This house…” She looked around, with a smile. “…It’s more than I would have thought.”

It wasn’t much, by all means. Two rooms and a smallest one for bathing, few furniture that they had found around town and put together as best as it could be, once cleaned. A hearth. The roof was safe, at least, but it wasn’t much. And, come to think of it, it was still more than what Hawke had, all them cramped in Gamlen’s house… Which wasn’t all that bigger anyway, or more densely furnished. Sure, this smelled better.

“Are you sure I’m not bothering you?”

“Not at all!”

“I puked all over your floor, tho…”

Raina grimaced, and Merrill giggled, shaking her head.

“That’s all right, you didn’t do it on purpose. You’ve helped me a lot since we met… I’m glad to help you in turn.”

It was very weird to hear someone say that they did something for Raina without wanting nothing in return. Actually, it wasn’t something she had heard since… Outside her family, maybe since she came of age and started working in the fields and helping the neighbours out to bring some more coins home. Her body seemed to be made of lead, everything hurt and her head pounded annoyingly: Raina still felt some weight lifting from her shoulders, shily and tentatively. She smiled back, a little ill at ease from the novelty, but… Liking it.

“Anytime, Merrill. Just ask. And, I’ll help you wash the sheets, at least.”

“Sure! But now… Do you think you can manage to stay here alone?”

“I’ll be as quiet as a mouse and make a nap. Go, I don’t want to steal your time as well as your bed. I’m big and strong, I’ll survive.” For once, she didn’t feel like making a show out of it. It was weird, too.

“That’s good. I’ll go fetch Anders. And maybe tell your family you’re here.”

And not before assuring that her guest didn’t want some food -she really felt her stomach was closed and didn’t want to be sick again-, Merrill waved her goodbyes, ready to leave.

“Merrill?” Raina called, hearing her pull the lock.

“Yes?” The elf peeked from the door, wide eyes full with worry.

“Thank you, really.”

She smiled, sweet and all too bright.

“Don’t mention it, Hawke. That’s what friends are for.”

Maybe that was it for real. Come to think of it, Raina never had many friends, outside her family. Not anyone that she could fully call friends, with the implicit rule that a big part of her family had to be kept secret as Apostates. Oh, she had her sympathies and trysts… But friends? People who didn’t mind her puking on their floor, offered their bed and knew that both the brother and sister she had left were mages? Maybe, after all, Kirkwall was good.