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anywaythewinds · 2 years

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[Translation] INTERVIEW: Park Kang Hyun of The Man Who Laughs says, “Gwynplaine, who dreams of a better world, is like me”

By Park Min Hee February 8, 2020 Translated by @anywaythewinds

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Translator’s note: This interview was conducted during the second season of The Man Who Laughs, an original production of EMK. Full disclosure that I am not a native Korean speaker, I just study it and translate for fun. Read at your own risk. If you find any mistakes please message me :) also please don't steal or quote without credit (link to this post) thank you

[some minimal notes from me are in brackets]

For the audience members that attended the premiere season of The Man Who Laughs, what do they remember? The cast was irreplaceable; even the most talented actors would have difficulty getting into its ranks. Musical production company EMK invested five years and a record 17.5 billion KRW into the production, saying, “We could not have created anything greater.” For a production of this scale, the casting of Park Hyo Shin and Suho made sense, but the appearance of Park Kang Hyun, who had barely grown out of “rookie” status, was unfamiliar and even brave. Park Kang Hyun says that while at that time it was scary, he now thinks of himself as a rising star working to become an even better storyteller.

How do you feel about doing The Man Who Laughs again? When it was confirmed that I would be in the second season, I definitely felt some pressure to perform better than in the premiere, but I was mostly excited to be doing it again. The order of some scenes got switched around so Gwynplaine’s journey is shown more naturally. I also had a hand in creating this work as a part of the premiere season of an original production, so I contemplated more deeply about the character’s layers. Since some time has passed, aren’t I at least one percent deeper as a person, too? From my love for Dea and my father [Ursus], to my conviction to change the world with my beliefs, I’m experiencing everything more powerfully and deeply. I thought that since it’s a musical that I’ve done before that it would be a lot easier, but it’s much more difficult both physically and emotionally. But I feel that as difficult as it is, the final product turns out a little better, too.

The Man Who Laughs received a lot of acclaim during the premiere season - you must be a bit proud of yourself From the beginning, I poured my soul into this show. I do the same for every show I’m in, but since it was an original production, it was much more challenging. When you’re creating something, it always ends up getting changed, and if you get a better idea it gets changed again. Perhaps because of that process, I’m even more attached to this musical - through this show, I received an award and a lot of people discovered me, so it became a really meaningful piece of work to me.

Are there more reasons to why you felt that this show is physically and emotionally draining? I feel it the most during the curtain call. It’s when I get to say thank you to everyone that came to see the show, but my legs shake so much that I can’t even stand straight. It shows that I’ve really poured my entire being into the show. I’ve never done another show where I’m having such a hard time during the curtain call. Of course it was already a struggle in 2018, but it wasn’t as hard as this time. I think because I know what to do now that I’m putting more of myself into it. I’m pouring my heart and soul into it but I still wonder if what I’m doing is right. Like, is it supposed to be such a struggle? But I shouldn’t feel like I’m already using up all the tricks under my belt, so it really feels like I’m crashing into the stage [to be honest, no idea what he’s trying to say here]. The other Gwynplaines also say it’s hard but I think I’m having the hardest time.

During the premiere season, the other actors casted in the same role as you were extremely popular. Since then, as you’ve done more musicals, you’ve gained more fans and filled more seats - do you feel like you’ve proved yourself with just your skill? It was scary. I try not to feel pressured by it but it’s impossible not to. So I try to do even better, and I also hope that I can seal my place as the actor people think of when they hear about The Man Who Laughs. I’m not sure about what the ticket sales are like, but there should be more people that know who I am now, and there’s even people that watched the movie The Man Who Laughs and then came to the show. It’s cool and I’m very thankful.

It can be said that The Man Who Laughs is EMK’s representative work. It’s clear that in the art world, Korea is raising the bar for musicals. But there’s something missing in the narrative between characters. The main character is Gwynplaine - what do you think is the story that you’re telling? The one thing that is the most lacking to me is that the main theme is “The paradise of the rich is made by the hell of the poor,” but in the show you can’t actually see what that hell looks like. If the audience can see that hell then it’s easier for them to get the message, but that hell is only implied in the show. All the characters that perform inside the story are all impoverished people, but they don’t really look to be in misfortune. I try really hard to show with my eyes that I see those people and think, “Yes, we’ve lived like this until now, I have to change the way things are for them,” but it’s difficult to fully convey that since it’s implied. Given the show’s limits, all I can do is try my best. The plot development is quick, but we have to express everything within the limited amount of time. If it was a four hour long show maybe it could be explained better; if it was a movie perhaps we could efficiently transition between scenes, but I think this is also a part of the Korean musical industry’s development process.

Was there anything that you suggested to the directing team that was put into the show? We are always communicating but the process of making something efficiently and well is not easy. I try to change stuff in scenes or in the lines, but when you actually perform a change it ends up different from what’s in your head, so I kept thinking that it really must be hard to be a director. There’s a part where Gwynplaine says this long speech after Lady Josiana comes to see Gwynplaine’s performance, and I changed the order of those lines. Gwnplaine also has this monologue before singing “I Could Change the World” when he’s expressing his conviction to change the world where he says, “Yes, I’m Gwynplaine, but I’m also Lord Clancharlie. Now I know the meaning of my fate. I got it, I can change it all!” I also changed the order for these lines so it sounded more natural. You know, actor Yang Jun Mo [Ursus] even now keeps thinking about the show even after he’s gone home. He thinks, “Today, I’m going to do this scene this way, won’t it be better if I do it this way?” and brings something new to the show every day. I’m really thankful for it and I also think it’s something I should emulate. It’s all a part of the creation process of The Man Who Laughs.

It seems like you look more at the entire piece of work rather than just what you have to do. When I work on a musical, I usually think only about the entire musical. It’s okay if I’m not seen. If the musical’s message is properly expressed to the audience, then I don’t want to nor need to stand out. But Gwynplaine is a character that needs to stand out, since the message is communicated to the audience through my journey. It’s kind of like I’m trying to solve an impossible homework problem.

The two actors that play Josiana have different vibes. What’s different about working with each of them? Shin Young Sook pulls me along with powerful charisma, so powerful that you can’t shake off her seduction. Kim So Hyang has kind of a cute side to her since she has a small frame, but when she seduces you, she’s definitely not to be underestimated. I think that’s the biggest difference. I get seduced and I can’t break free from it. I decided that for my Gwynplaine, it’s the first time a woman has ever done something like that to him. He’s tempted by this excitement that he’s feeling for the first time, but since he’s been hidden away and separate from other people since he was young, he feels like he shouldn’t be feeling these emotions. And what he feels for Dea is a love even bigger than love, someone that’s even more precious than himself, that she could even be his entire identity as a person. A person more precious than Gwynplaine. But, in reality, I personally don’t love anything to that extent, since I have to exist to be myself. Dea’s like a unicorn in a fantasy world. I’m not a romantic person like that. Like I empathize with my friends if they’re upset, but since they’ll be okay after a while… (smiles)

Since you grew so fast, you seem to be a role model for a lot of actors. One could say that I’m growing very fast, but I’m still in the process of learning and growing. There’s a lot still for me to do and a lot of mountains to climb, so I think I don’t quite deserve it yet. I think people that consider me their role model just don’t know better or something. But I’ll acknowledge it if they’re just wishing that they could also get the same opportunities so quickly.

Anything interesting stories from the audition process? There’s been times where even though I feel confident going into an audition I get too nervous and get rejected, and times where I have no confidence but end up doing better than I thought and getting the role. The Man Who Laughs was like that. In May 2017, I auditioned for The Last Kiss and got to the final round. That was the first time that the EMK producers saw me. If I didn’t do that audition, it’s possible that I wouldn’t have been able to do The Man Who Laughs. I really didn’t feel confident about The Last Kiss, but even I think I did well. (smiles) Director Kim Moon Jeong must have thought, “It’s the first time I’m seeing this kid but he’s pretty good.” She’s a professor at Hanse University and I heard from my friends that she said in class, “Do you all know Park Kang Hyun? He’s pretty good.” I felt pretty proud of that.

People say that you’re like blank drawing paper. What do you think of that? I’ve said that I’m like that myself. I like it. It could mean that I don’t have any super special qualities, but I’ve always been that kind of person. I fit in wherever I go and don’t stick out. I personally think that I’m like running water. Those that say that about me, they’re right. That’s the kind of person I am.

You have precise diction. Is that something you work hard on? A performance is for the audience to watch, but at the same time you’re still having a conversation with the actor next to you. Actor Jung Sung Hwa said this to me: imagine while walking down the street someone picks a fight with you. There are bystanders that gather around you, so there’s a nuance where the one that decides who wins the argument is not the person you’re fighting with, but the bystanders. You’re speaking to the person you’re arguing with in front of you, but you also have to think that you’re speaking to everyone else that’s around you. When you have the intention to communicate precisely, and you also know precisely what you’re trying to say, then you’ll be able to communicate precisely. I also pay close attention to the Korean language’s short/long sounds, and I think I try to slow down a bit if it seems like I’m speaking a bit too fast to understand.

Is there a role that you’ve done that you like the most? For every role I take on, I create the character by finding the intersection between myself and the role, and I’ve never had any major struggle when doing this, but the easiest character has been Gwynplaine. He’s a free spirit and a bit mischievous. He has some sadness in him, and he also has a passion for going down the right path. Moreover, since it was the premiere of an original production and I could create this character, it was easier for me to play this character.

What does the director think of Park Kang Hyun the actor? The director himself is great at acting - he was once an actor. He’s directed a lot of shows in Korea so I think he’s become quite Koreanized. He’s emotionally sensitive and detailed. He has us rehearse until the scene matches what he’s looking for. When I’ve rehearsed it a few times, I kind of get the scene he sees in his head. Starting from the second season, it’s been easy to carry out what the director wants. He’s older in age but he’s incredibly passionate. Sometimes he hits my head. In Korea, if someone hits your head you’d be shocked, but I guess outside of Korea it’s common to smile and hit people’s heads. (smiles) If Robert [the director] was Korean, he might not have been as easy and comfortable to work with. This season, Robert saw two shows and went back home, and he said, “Of all the shows I’ve seen so far, this one is the perfect performance. You’ve performed everything I wanted.” I was moved. He said that while hitting my head. (smiles) I feel like I can tell what he wants with just a look. My English has also gotten better thanks to him.

Anything planned after this? Is there a role that you want to play? I think I’ll rest. I’m also thinking about what different roles I could try. I want to try Phantom [it's a bit ambiguous but I think it's likely that means ALW]. Raoul while I’m in my 20s, and Phantom in my 30s. I want to train myself. I don’t exercise at all except for my fingers. I need to improve my stamina and strength. I don’t think I’ve ever taken a proper rest. I kind of want to try TV dramas or movies, but I don’t think it’s time yet. I started out with a film so I think I want to try doing another film the most.

Will Miraclass activities continue? We made some organizational changes, so I think Miraclass will continue. A while ago, some fans sent a coffee truck to a The Man Who Laughs show and the Miraclass members kept making fun of the picture of me on the monitor. [I think he starts talking about his solo concert here, not sure how this part is related to the question lol] I really wanted to put on a good show for the audience members that came to see me, so if I’m able to do it again I think it’ll be fun. It was a meaningful time. While I was doing it, I thought to myself, “Park Kang Hyun has grown up a bit!” but at the same time I was like, “Is it real life that I’m having so much fun right now?” But I think my next solo concert I’m going to have to push to 10 years later.

Self esteem is the trend. How do you take care of yourself mentally? I work hard not to waver, when I’m extremely tired, when I’m out of it mentally, or when I’m tired but I still have to get to work. Like when you were in middle school and you really didn’t want to go to school. I think, “I wish I could disappear right now.” I’m super tired in the morning. There’s nothing worse. While I’m in a musical, I feel so tired that I want to disappear, but I think, I can’t be like this! And I break out of it and get up. In a way, it’s like I’m becoming a superhero. I feel like such a wimp when I start shivering in the winter cold, so even if I feel like my head is going to split open I take a shower with cold water. After showering, even if I go outside into the cold, steam comes from my body and I’m warm. I get stronger. Sometimes, if I ask myself questions it helps. Often when I’m contemplating something it’s just in my head, but if I say it out loud and hear it and answer myself, the solution appears clearly.

Is there a question you asked yourself during the hardest times? It was when I was about to graduate from university and I wasn’t doing well on my auditions. I was walking on an overpass on my way home, and I kept asking myself questions; after all I chose this career because I wanted to do it, so if I just give up because I’ve failed a few times then I’m just a weak willed person. So what am I going to do? I’m going to follow this path to the end, I remember saying. In reality there was nothing in front of me: I was failing my auditions and completely in despair, but if other people are making it, then what am I if I can’t make it too? I talked to myself like that. That’s another trait I have in common with Gwynplaine - I like imagination. And I’m actually a bit of a comedian. The rumors that I only tell dad jokes are wrong.

Is there a belief or principle you hold with which you want to influence other people? I’m a person that always wishes for a better world. From my present position, I think the only thing I can do is to express the message a musical holds to even just one person in the audience. So I always perform sincerely, every single show. I can’t know for sure how I’ve influenced others, but if someone came to see a show and then thought about it afterwards, then I think I’ve done my job. When I was in middle school and I prayed for the first time in church, I had nothing in particular to pray for so I just prayed for world peace. So that everyone can live peacefully. I saw a saying that was like, if everyone in the world had a pet dog then there would be no war in the world. I kind of see where they’re coming from. Dogs are so cute that you become kinder.

Finally, how do you want to end this story? This could be the last time you’ll be able to see Park Kang Hyun’s Gwynplaine. Come see one of my shows while my voice is younger. Perhaps everything could be resolved if Gwynplaine took a little more time to reach out to the audience when he appears.

#박강현 #park kang hyun #translation #the man who laughs #웃는 남자 #some of the things he says is so funny #like very stream of consciousness answers some times #most of all i think you can feel just how much he loves gwynplaine and is devoted to performing as him to the best of his ability #korean musicals

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gifsbysimplysonia · 1 year

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Feliz cumpleaños to my favorite lead singer who for some reason is still wearing the American Eagle Dip Dye flannel I bought him in 2018 🥰 that Rafaela threw to Diony who has always been SO kind to me and my friends when it came to a7x. What a run on sentence 😄 And after the cut is way more nonsensical but intensely personal rambling about this dude. You've been warned.

I been a fan of this dude for coming up on 18 years now- wtaf!!!! And for a very nice stretch of time, I was extremely blessed to see him after shows to talk for a minute or three (though to be honest, i was tongue tied most of the time and just 👀 lol).

At that time in my life, people I admired didn't treat me that great. I was constantly looked at or treated in a way that made me extremely self conscious; I was constantly the oldest fan at shows without kids and I've always been fat and not too attractive in the face. Then I'd be meeting musicians or wrestlers I was so excited to be supporting only to have them act like it was a chore to take a photo with me or keep a distance when doing so...only to hug and smile and be super enthused when moving onto the skinny pretty fans next in line. My self esteem was non existent.

Then I met this dude for the first time, on a sunny warm day in April 2006, Houston Texas. He waved me and my friend across the street, signed our stuff, was fine to take photos with us, and when it was my turn he put his arm around me without hesitation. That one tiny gesture that I'm betting he didn't think about at all meant so much to me. All he did was treat me like he treated everyone else (which I saw that night after the show as he was the only one from the band to come to the group of fans waiting around, and he signed all the things and took so many photos), and something in my heart shifted a bit. Spesh after I looked down and realized he was barefoot? Dude stood there for 4 or 5 minutes, in bare feet, on warm concrete as he signed stuff and took pics before he went onto his bus. Liiiiiiike....

After that, every run in was the same or better as his behavior remained consistently kind and respectful. For me and my friends, Shadows became a kind of unofficial mascot cuz if we didn't see any of his band mates after a show, we seemed to always see him. He always was attentive to whomever was speaking to him, and even when it was the same question for the one millionth time (when are you gonna scream again?!?! 🙄), he would patiently answer. Dude constantly made time for fans, and even in the more recent years when the band wasn't touring, he has demonstrated that he cares A LOT about fans and wants to try and give them the best experience possible (even if they fight him tooth and nail).

I haven't had the pleasure of seeing him face-to-face since April 2011 and to be an absolute brat for a moment 😫😫😫 But my 2 besties got to meet the band when their last album, The Stage, was released. I think October 2016 but, like, don't quote me cuz I'm the worst with dates if they aren't on my list, ha. There were meet n greets in NY and LA; @psycholunatics went to NY and @jillybean1217 went to LA and both had wonderful experiences. I'm always grateful when my besties are treated like the Queens that they are🙏🏼🙏🏼

Back in January 2018, my friend at the time Rafaela went with me to a show in Green Bay Wisconsin despite not being a fan of the band (forever grateful to her for helping me drive AND for being the one to use her magic to make stuff happen, as she did for me CONSTANTLY in life). Thanks to her, the American Eagle Dip Dye flannel I bought him - cuz his other ones at the time looked wrecked:

Got into the hands of their tour manager. And IMAGINE MY ELATION AND DISBELIEF when HE WORE IT THE NEXT DANG NIGHT?!?!? From my IG post at the time it happened:

I'm cringe and I know that. But, like, joy? Is so difficult to find so when I find it, I have a habit of clinging to it like a crab. Cuz it often seems to come out of nowhere, so randomly, and for SO LONG I believed myself to be a person who wasn't WORTHY of good things happening to them, or who was conditioned by how I was treated to think I wasn't WORTHY of basic respect. And honestly, this dude is just someone who has been SO consistently kind and things he had NO CLUE would mean anything to me (like wearing this shirt) would happen & hit me at times in life I really needed a pick-me-up or reminder that there is good in the world.

Since January 2018, my friends and I have spotted the flannel out in the world 13 times, with the 13th being JUST LAST WEEK at a show in Canada. I will forever be impressed with Shadows actually keeping and wearing stuff til he can't wear it anymore (that white Metallica tee? Who knows which one I mean? 😄) AND I will forever shake my head in disbelief anytime I see him wearing this American Eagle Dip Dye flannel cuz like....🥰

Here's wishing him the happiest of birthdays, sending him gratitude for the person that he is and the extreme generosity he's shown myself and my friends repeatedly, and hopes for him receiving all of the good he sends to so many other people 🙏🏼💜

Happy Birthday and thank you for everything, M Shadows 🎊🎉🎂🥳

#personal #m shadows #avenged sevenfold #a7x

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tres-spades-hotel · 2 years

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For My 1000 Followers

Hi everyone! I know it’s been ages but I’ve been getting a surge of followers lately that I had to have a look at the number. I was super surprised so I’m here to say:

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 1000 FOLLOWERS!!!!!!

*coughs* I’m an old lady …

I’m actually in my early twenties and have been pretty inactive in the Voltage/Kissed By The Baddest Bidder fandom for a few years now. Things got intense with my studies the past few years and I haven’t had much time for writing fanfiction as much as I wanted to. I even made a New Years Resolution last year to write more fanfics but that never happened.

I wanted to take a moment to discuss what’s gonna happen moving forward with this blog. When I first made it, I was at the peak of my obsession with Voltage Inc otome games and specifically, Eisuke Ichinomiya. I found Tumblr and realised it was a place to write fanfiction and fall in love with my favourite otome characters from games like KBTBB and Star Crossed Myth. Eventually, I was added to the Discord, Otome Fanatics, and became even more involved with the community, entering writing competitions, talking with likeminded people, getting to share in the love for the company and their amazing games.

Soon though, my studies were starting to catch up to me and I found myself having less time to write. Now, I’ve never been personal on this blog but I’m going to start today. My name is Olivia and I’m a postgraduate Creative Writing student who completed a Bachelors in Creative Writing. So, I’m pretty committed to my work as a writer. I wanted to make the best kind of writing that I could for these amazing characters that Voltage have fleshed out for us to play with. This does include drafting and editing like mad!

I still love Eisuke, he’s still my favourite character, but since the past couple of years, I’ve lost interest in the games, I hardly go on the app anymore. My interests have since moved onto characters from TV shows, movies, games, and book characters.

The one thing that I love the most is reading. My favourite genre is crime fiction and since April 2022, I became obsessed with Ian Rankin’s detective novel series, John Rebus. He’s a Scottish detective inspector who is always in trouble for something while trying to capture criminals all over Edinburgh. He’s a wonderful, morally grey character who gets put through the ringer more than once. I read the first book and was immediately hooked! I have collected the entire series plus some plays that Rebus stars in! I was able to read the entire series (24 books) in 8 months! I absolutely adore Rebus and plan to write fanfiction for him cause he’s amazing and my new husband! I highly recommend the series for anyone who likes crime fiction and Scotland.

My next obsession began at the end of December where I finally read American Psycho by Brett Easton Ellis. I fell in love with Patrick Bateman, which has transcended into a complete maddening obsession with Christian Bale. I mean, what an actor! And he’s so handsome! I’ve currently watched over 20 of his movies, including, The Dark Knight Trilogy, Equilibrium, 3:10 to Yuma, The Pale Blue Eye and many more. I may plan to write for Bale characters in the future but that’s still unsure.

During the pandemic, during lockdown, I finally started watching House M.D in 2020 and fell in love with Hugh Laurie and his character, Gregory House. Again, I had an obsession for ages! Hugh Laurie is an amazing actor. I also fell in love with the TV show, Chicago Fire and Taylor Kinney.

Arthur Morgan from Red Dead Redemption II stole my heart in 2018 when the game came out. I have since bought the game on Steam and fell in love with his character. There may be some fanfics for him as well that I want to write and post!

I’m gonna start rebranding this blog into a place where I can dish out my love for all these characters and reposting much more. If you have book recommendations then I would love to know what they are! I mostly read crime fiction and realist and occasionally, sci-fi and fantasy and poetry.

Eisuke and Voltage will still be in my heart and I will continue to write for him and Leon (who I was also obsessed with for a long while – I guess I just love sadistic characters!) and I may end up posting book reviews or posts rambling on about how much I love Christian Bale. For those of you who have sent in requests for Eisuke, I do plan to write those and eventually I will post them.

I’m still very grateful for all those who have followed me and have been here since the start of this blog. I know its been very quiet but hopefully that will change this year in 2023.

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terranoctis · 6 months

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Favorites of March

I continue my streak of watching Shakespearean adaptations, apparently. I saw two versions of Macbeth and two adaptations of Julius Caesar, all very fantastic adaptations. Beware the ides of march!

Films

Society of the Snow (2023) I've been a quiet fan of J.A. Bayona's work since I first saw his film "A Monster Calls." Though the aforementioned film isn't like a grandiose, amazing film, there was something about how it came together and the director's vision of the story I loved, so I kept an eye on Bayona's work since. I would say Society of the Snow, or La sociedad de la nieve, is the best of his films I've seen. Bayona's stylistic tendences came to the forefront in this film. It's so well-directed and framed in the context of these survivors in the Andes. It also makes a choice that I loved it more for--it gave the central focus of the film to the people who did not survive ultimately. Often times in such films, it's the survival and the survivors who are sensationalized, but this film is so visceral in its portrayal. Even so, there is hope in how these survivors come together, and Bayona does a fantastic job of balancing that, with themes of faith and how a society comes together at its worst. I think it's sort of a shame that Zone of Interest has also been nominated this year, because if it were not for that film, I would say this film had a very fair chance of winning best International Film this year at the Oscars. I will also add that it's not an easy watch because of its subject matter.

Shirkers (2018) What a little gem of a film. It's a haunting look at the director's history of her first film, one lost in its entirety due to the incompetence and psychological cruelty of a man who very much took advantage of his younger female filmmakers. She finally retrieves that footage thanks to the man's ex-wife, and she crafts the documentary of its making and her past in such a wonderful weave. As someone who writes and have spent so much of my mind in those creative moments, I can't imagine losing so much of your heart, even in those amateur times, to the abyss--not being able to see it or not being able to show it to the world after spending so much time on it. There's an interesting contrast between her youthfulness when she was excited about making her first film to the kind of anger and resigned nature she had to come to terms with as she grew older. It's a fantastic documentary that you can tell was made by someone with a very creative mind. You get to witness her sort of rediscovering that old part of her and also uncovering the history of this man who had mentored her and taken advantage of her. The documentary captures a time period of Singapore that was both real and only hers--and contrasts greatly with their modern counterparts. The film may not be for everyone, but something about it continually captured my interest.

The Holdovers (2023) The movie struck a chord with me about the connections we have with people even when we sometimes hate people, if that makes sense. I don't necessarily hate people, but I've been through moments where I'm as bitter as Paul or Angus. It's sometimes in those moments that we recognize how people can be worth it all when you're finding those fellow Holdovers, those people lost in limbo like you in life. Overall, it's a very touching story between a curmudgeon of a teacher, a grieving mother, and a young student who's been left behind by his parents and the way it changes all of them in a little way even though they all go on their own ways after.

Grave of the Fireflies (1988) I think this is one of those animated films everyone should watch at least once--but it's also a film I wouldn't watch again, at least for awhile. It's a look at young kids amidst war and quite devastating in its portrayal. As far as I know, the film is based off of a short story, written by an author who wrote it based off of his experience as a child in WWII. The film is honest from its opening the brutal ending these kids will have, but the journey still paints a haunting picture to get there. There are some truly heartwarming between the siblings, but you experience living through a war and it's so incredibly sad. The title is apt as well, how some lives are so beautiful and short-lived.

National Live Theatre: Julius Caesar (2018) I've read the play extensively in my studies, but never quite seen a proper adaptation, much less one that feels so relevant to our time. It should be noted this play was performed during Trump's presidency, and it's hard not to draw parallels to Trump from Caesar in this adaptation. Both are figures that popular to a mob, after all. Though this is a modern take on the play, I rather liked it and particularly its portrayals of Brutus and Cassius. Cassius has generally been seen as less unsympathetic in my readings, perhaps of my own interpretation, but this adaptation wholly made him--or her, in this case--a very interesting character and one I felt sympathetic to by the end. Cassius remains a flawed and perhaps scheming character in her attempt to overthrow Caesar, but also one that you find rather interesting to analyze and so entirely human. There's an extra layer to it having Cassius be a woman in this adaptation. I think credit to this lies with Michelle Fairley's portrayal and being able to bounce off Ben Whishaw's acting so well. The senators exchange knives for guns in this modern adaptation, which did make for a slightly amusing visual in my opinion, but it is a modern take and was a very well choreographed scene.

The Quiet Girl (2022) This film probably won't be for everyone, but it's a kind of film I love in the same quiet way I might like to lay outside in the grass with an old book. It's a quiet film that's subtle in the way it portrays a young girl's perspective as a child in a large family, shy and soft-spoken, until she starts to open up in the care of a loving family. The cinematography in this film is so well-done. It's one of those films I admire how it uses both foreground and background in perspective, as well as shots through open doors of a house. I think the film's cinematography perfectly encapsulates the shyness and the sort of pain--as well as the wonder and love she comes to experience--the child has in growing up as she has. It's not a big-budget film, but it uses its surroundings and nature so beautifully. It's a film that wonderfully illustrates the beauty of tiny little gestures in love and how love is about all those little things. I'm kind of happy I chose this film in particular on a random whim from a list of recommended Irish films, all because I wanted to watch an Irish film on St. Patrick's Day.

The End of Evangelion (1997) It's hard to say this is one of my favorite films this month, because it's definitely a dark one and it's extremely convoluted and confusing. Part of me doesn't like it enough to say it's a favorite, and part of me loves it anyways. Strip away thinking about the plot too much and have a basis in the original TV series to just think about the emotions and the visuals--this film speaks deeply to me and others. It's definitely a film I'm still thinking about just from all it shows, with some of the most visceral animations I've ever seen. As someone who has been at her wit's end with depression before, I understood rather well what the film was portraying. It's a magnified version of someone with so much self-loathing and the kind of visual extremes the film paints about how that person is dealing with it. It's about understanding that even though we can be horrible as humans, and that we'll often question whether people love us or hate us, it's still worth it. It's about the "I love yous" that you hear. My friend and I talked about the ending, and though it's a bit grim, it's also realistic and hopeful. There are people who want to live. Sometimes life, even with all it's ugliness, is also just that--and that's beautiful in it's own disgusting way.

Memories of Murder (2003) As a person who has a morbid kind of love for noir-style films and Bong Joon Ho's work, it isn't entirely surprising I liked this film. There are things I'm not a fan of, such as the sheer way its characters and police department are not equipped to handle the case the serial murders are about... and yet, I know this is quite purposeful and is the reason why the movie is particularly haunting. The movie itself is based on a series of murders that were only solved in 2019 (more than a decade after the movie came out). A series of murders, in fact, that might be South Korea's first recognized serial murders--one that they were not ready to solve when it happened. There's a certain amount of way the police are allowed to act that says a lot about their incompetency (assaulting suspects, pointing the finger at the wrong people) and yet it also portrays how extremely human they are when they are in entirely over their heads. This one has more dramatic tendencies than Ho's other films, but understandably so considering its extremely tragic circumstances rooted in reality. I'm not entirely a fan of how dramatic some moments were, but I still understood it. Unlike Fincher's Zodiac, for example, which is colder or more honed in on the murder case details itself--this film is much more focused on the human parts that are weaving along a thread of tragedies and murders. Its ending scene with the main character looking into the camera after a little girl answers his question about presumably the killer being a very ordinary-looking man is one of the most chilling endings I've seen in a film.

Literature

"Yumi and the Nightmare Painter" by Brandon Sanderson Somehow, this novel feels like the written form of a manga and I mean that in a good way. Sanderson often has humor in his novels that you don't find as often in his fellow contemporary fantasy/sci-fi novels (at least that I'm aware of), but this novel in particular allows itself so much levity in a sort of premise you would potentially find as the start of an isekai manga. Nonetheless, because it is in novel form and written the way I like to read my fantasy novels, it's much more in-depth than that. I always admire Sanderson's dialogue between his characters, and this is no exception between Yumi and Painter (Nikaro). That this novel is part of the Cosmere too adds a layer of enjoyment for me with all the references to Roshar.

Music

“Red Wine Supernova,” by Chappell Roan The way I relate to and love this song so wholeheartedly as a queer woman makes me smile. It’s a song of longing, but open and happy in its approach about it. And so damn catchy. Come on over, red wine supernova.

“Touching Yourself,” by The Japanese House Longtime fan and I think it’s one of her catchiest songs. It’s happier than her previous songs, which I don’t mind.

“we can’t be friends (wait for your love)” by Ariana Grande I love this song. It’s a sad song tinged with the hope of wishing the best for someone you couldn’t make it work with and I wholeheartedly relate to that. Her whole album has been on repeat for me, but this song in particular is my favorite.

“In the Kitchen,” Renee Rapp I heard this song while I was discovering her last month but for whatever reason, the song didn’t really strike me at the core until this month. It felt like I discovered the song for the first time by really listening to it and falling in love with it. Unabashed heartbreak and hauntingly so.

#masterlist2024 #readings and ramblings

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acadamycelebrancy65 · 1 year

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Celebrating Life With Jacqueline Ruddy

Hawkes, who has a ardour for creating tailor-made ceremonies that reflect a couple's or a person's journey via life, was educated by the Academy of Modern Celebrancy. He is a professional family liaison officer in addition to being an award-winning professional toastmaster and master of ceremonies. As properly as being part of one other particular person's journey, you get to have your individual highly effective experiences as a marriage or funeral celebrant. Some situations may contact you very deeply, such as the death of a young person or a very touching marriage ceremony story. A funeral celebrant is someone certified to host and officiate funeral companies.

I sorted out my social media presence early on however it was the face-to-face conferences that might seal the deal. Luckily, I was comfortable establishing relationships with folks from all walks of life and started going around funeral administrators introducing myself. Around the identical time (2016) she ditched bricks and mortar for canvas and lived in a tent for a 12 months, rooting her relationship with seasonal change and the pure world. Much of her own writing and explorations of rewilding stem from this experience. After years spent scribbling ideas in notebooks whereas exploring numerous professional paths, a serendipitous invitation to tackle the working of an off-grid shepherd’s hut website allowed Maddy to host her first seasonal retreat in 2018. From here grew her want to facilitate deeper conversations for different girls seeking to rewild and reconnect, and later that year she started her teaching training, focusing totally on developmental psychology.

And there had been no heart.So let’s take into consideration this… I felt really passionately about this issue. I’ve grown up in an trade with loads of emotion and which requires that innate sense of hospitality. So I did.I applied for a course with The Academy of Modern Celebrancy, obtained my head into the books, and in summer celebrant training online time 2021 I qualified as a marriage and naming day celebrant. With flying colours, dare I add.I’m now up and working and loving every second, particularly as my catering businesses are also thriving once again.

So a lot effort and time goes into the 3 day programme and I feel that puts me in a good place going forward to extend my service in this industry. Thank you Stuart and staff on the Academy, I look forward to changing into a member of your extended network. Anyone with aspirations to become successful in this line of service, I strongly encourage you to get in contact with the Academy of Professional Celebrants. So pleased I picked the Academy for my celebrant training. The course was professionally ran offering you with all the instruments wanted to turn out to be a successful celebrant. Also the support afterwards from the academy has been wonderful.

Laura Widdop – (Assessor) Laura has over 15 years of expertise in delivering training in numerous sectors. She has been the Centre Manager and an Assessor with UKCAPSA for over 2 years. Laura is there to support celebrant courses to all candidates in any method she will.

I belief her insights and judgement and have at all times admired her dedication and energy. She is an inspiration and makes a difference to every life she touches. From a practical point of view, Lucy was a pleasure to work with in phrases of arranging the service. I am a Sheffield based celebrant for weddings, naming ceremonies and vow renewals covering South Yorkshire, Derbyshire and Nottinghamshire however will fortunately journey nationally and internationally.

The programme was nicely delivered and the workout routines given have been excellent that will help you get over your fear and have the flexibility to deliver a full ceremony. Everyone that has or is training with APC is in a help group and no one is valuable about what they are doing to get business and assist each other, like I actually have by no means seen earlier than. The Support that Stuart give to every individual is immediate and like gold mud, serving to you get enterprise and understanding the way to cross the hurdles as they arrive. Thank you to Stuart for this wonderful journey that I even have just began.

When you buy via links on our web site or newsletter, we could earn affiliate commission. Everything we recommend is independently chosen irrespective of affiliate agreements. ‘At 48, my marriage ended, the divorce settlement took two years and, at the finish, my husband stayed in the family house, I took on a new mortgage and signed away any rights to his pension. I continued work as a PE trainer however at 60, a bone scan showed I had osteoporosis in the backbone.

When restrictions lifted within the Summer of 2020, the family's adventures resumed, this time they did house-sitting across Mexico, Costa Rica, Panama and the USA. 'It is hard to be a nonconformist in terms of being pregnant, because everyone tells you that you simply want a mortgage and must quiet down and assist your beloved ones. The opinions expressed are these of the creator and usually are not held by Saga unless particularly stated.

I would not hesitate in recommending the Academy to anyone wishing to train in any of the fields Stuart covers. This man is selfless and wants one of the best for all those academy of modern celebrancy he trains. I didn't know what to expect from an internet course but I was soon put comfy by the course trainer Stuart Logan.

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tiggeybadger · 2 years

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I Met a Guy - It went wrong and I need advice...

It's gone so wrong and while I believe his behaviour has been beyond anything anyone would put up with, sometimes I don't know whether I'm wrong or right. So I figured, why not just ask? Get a collective opinion and see whether I'm being rational or I've turned into a total nut. Perhaps I can also get some healthy perspective and see what is really real because right now I'm not strong enough to leave.

So... I met a guy in June 2018, a 41 year old man with a 4 year old daughter. I was 36 at the time. We fell in love, quickly and passionately. We had met each other a few times before and flirted but the timing hadn't been right. I'd been single for 5 years after a bad relationship, moved abroad to get some space and just didn't want anyone. I didn't mind being single and wasn't playing the field. I was just happy being me without anyone dictating what I did or where I went. It was liberating. I got two dogs and loved my work. Then, at a friend's wedding, I'd had too much to drink. A friend of mine had just had a heart transplant, another had a brain tumour so I hadn't been in the mood to celebrate. A friend had come over and insisted I went to the wedding. She helped me get ready and forced me out the door.

The wedding was nice, I got cornered by a woman far drunker than me for an age and, several times, I wondered what I was doing there. Finding the dance floor, I had at least 10 left feet and eventually wondered off to get a taxi, probably tripping over my own shoes most of the way. I sat at the entrance waiting for a car to turn up. Sat on a low curb at the beautiful but isolated venue, drunk in an expensive dress, and went to lean back on the wall behind me. Only there wasn't one. With no elegance at all, I admit that I fell into the bush behind me, but a hand reached out and helped me up. He then escorted me to his taxi, offered to take me to my door, waited until I was safely inside with the door closed and went home. The next day I had a message asking if I was okay and if I really did want to see him again... but that it was fine if I hadn't meant it and he'd just be pleased to hear I was okay.

I messaged and said I was fine and thanked him for ensuring I got home okay. We chatted for a few weeks over messenger, but i was really a bit too embarrassed to meet him again. The it was the football, I was with friends and he offered to come and meet us. I figured I was with a group and it would be okay - it was more than okay. Everyone else left but we stayed.

He messaged me beautiful messages for the next month, while I responded occasionally, while thinking if I really wanted to trust someone again. I'd gone to London for a week for my Mum's 70th and family friends had encouraged me to take a chance on someone since it had been a long time. I got back, I did and things moved fast. On our third official date, I told him that I wanted kids and, if he didn't want more, there was no point in us seeing each other anymore. He didn't really respond. The next day I regretting being so up front, but I had friends of my age that had fallen in love, only to find the new love of their life didn't share their vision. My next date with, let's call him Harry, he said "I've been thinking about what you said, let's do it". I freaked out! I hadn't meant now, I'd meant there had to be the possibility, since he already had a child. He saw I was running in my mind and laughted and asked "why not? Give me a reason?". The truth was, I couldn't. We were so right together. He didn't want his daughter to be too much older than her potential siblings and I wanted kids. We did the same job, understood the same world and wanted the same things.

We dined out, stayed in, hugged, kissed (a lot), we made a sofa den so we could lie together and still face the TV. We messaged each other constantly from work and glowed with the possibilities and support we found in each other. We had mutual friends who had nothing but positive things to say about us and it felt like we were on top of the world.

We also made a baby pretty quickly. 3.5 months after we met, I was pregnant. We weren't living together yet and my friend was visiting when I did the test. I called him and he was there in minutes, making love to me my sofa while my friend made herself scarce in the bedroom.

We were glowing, then I briefly thought I'd lost the baby but even then he was there every step of the way, coming with me to the appointment and holding my hand the whole time. A week later, the doctor told us it hadn't been the miscarriage we'd assumed and we were overwhelmed by the rollercoaster but incredibly happy. We started to plan for a family, the first for me and a new start for him. We told his daughter, who had been demanding a sibling and, while she was a bit confused, all was well and exciting.

There's nothing attractive about pregnancy, literally nothing at all. I'll happily concede that, and give credit to any man who makes his partner feel beautiful during and shortly after this period. I was a size 8 when we met, probably a 10 when I got pregnant (we'd eaten in and out a lot) then I had a massive belly, couldn't bend down to tie my own shoes and farted a lot. Maybe, then, with good reason, "Harry" started reading when he went to bed rather than talking or making love to me. I assumed it was the pregnancy and hoped things would improve once the baby came. He'd also lost his well-paid job so, I kitted the house out on my savings and salary and didn't think too much of it, assuming everything would be back to normal soon enough. On our first anniversary, he took me to a nice restaurant but when the taxi pulled up outside our house he said he was going for a drink with a friend, as it was his friend's stag do. I was due in the hospital 2 days later. He came back at 7am, showered and lay prostrate on the sofa the next day. I packed my hospital bag without help and was pretty pissed off. I went in the next day and in the morning, Junior 1 was born. Harry was proud for sure. However, Junior 1 wasn't an easy baby, he had colic and would be up until 6am screaming the whole time and it lasted for months. Harry didn't help much and I was surprised and hurt. There was a night I had a UTI but managed to fall asleep and he was so cross about being left to look after the baby, he kicked the back of the sofa and walked away with me to look after him again. When I asked for sleep, he would agree but be "busy". On the rare occasions he did let me sleep (3 or 4 times in 8 months), tell me he'd given Junior a bottle only for everything to be exactly where I'd left it. From this point on, I believe he has only intermittently engaged again.

Junior 1 was difficult but we had agreed to a second baby. We weren't having sex and he'd lost his job a second time after only 4 months, not because he wasn't good but because he was expensive and the company wanted to save money. I was back at work and my just above average salary just about covered our combined bills. I transferred money to him to live on so he didn't have to ask when I could. But my salary at that time should have been enough to save on and see me through an extended maternity leave the second time round. His comment on finding out about the second baby was far from the reaction to the first when he was by my side and excited from another house and in minutes. Instead, it was "well that was what you wanted" without getting up from the sofa. He'd agreed with the timing, he was party to the act, albeit without the passion of the first pregnancy. We hadn't had sex for months, junior 2 was a lucky second go strike. With the world pandemic, he didn't work for another 14 months and became more and more distant. He was playing video games 16 hours a day while I worked, paid the bills and the nanny, finished at 6pm or paid her to stay later if I had to work late, bathed Junior 1 and put him to bed, cooked and often washed up. I was then asked at 10:30pm to put headphones in if I wanted to watch TV as he wanted to stream.

When Junior 2 arrived he it was during covid. He was his old self again, taking me to the hospital early in the morning (3am), organising the nanny to come and being great with the kids while I was in hospital. We took on a bigger house on my salary a month or so later as the perfect home came up and we assumed he would get a job soon. He'd not picked up the grocery bills again, including food for his daughter, since May 2019 so we were now running a split total which was increasing massively as he didn't appreciate how much it was costing. But at this point, it had been 18 months with me being increasingly disillusioned and alone in parenting. I would put dinner on, do junior 1's bath, come back to serve dinner and sometimes wash up as well, while we were living on my maternity income in a house we couldn't afford. I'd planned to I would have been able to take extended maternity leave but the money was all gone.

Three months after Junior 2 was born, just before we moved to the new house, he got another job and a very good one. It was 50% more than his previous salary with a boss he liked and a company he believed in. We were thrilled, he had a new energy and confidence.

Within three months he was away as much as he was home. Being "professional social" he called it. We work in the same industry and it's a work hard, play hard one. His reputation was as a solid (maybe boring) but experienced senior person. He had never been part of the play hard crowd, or rather he had, but he was the grounding force and rock amongst wayward colleagues and friends. Exactly what I'd fallen in love with.

That's the background.

Then as of June 2021, covid started to lift and he had this new job. He met influential people that elevated his status in the relatively small community we live in. He started circulating with people that have a lot of money and at the age of 44, I suspected he was less the rock and more part of the problem. Gradually, at first, but increasingly he was swept up like a cigarette paper in a hurricane. I blamed the people around him but was wisely told that people make their own decisions. It's true that speaking to the people I had blamed, some I knew, some i didn't, only proved that the only person responsible for Harry's actions was him. Late 2021, his daughter's would be step-father died tragically, her mother understandably needed time but he didn't cancel his trip and was out with investors, leaving me with Junior 0 alone for 10 days, grieving and wanting her parents rather than me. For the record, Junior 0 is an amazing kid that I adore and her mother someone I get on exceptionally well with.

We wanted our son and his daughter in a particular school. He told me not to apply and that he had contacts, I chased from Nov 2021 until late Sept 2022 only to get told each time I was a “nag”. Our son was registered with the local comp the working day before school started, meaning as a new parent I missed all the introductions.

Multiple conferences have followed where he didn't call, lied about going in the first place or when he was coming home, hasn’t called the kids, hasn’t turned up or said he was on his way home and didn't show. He's missed appointments for his kids, isn't and doesn't organise anything when they need something and the landlord turned up on our door saying we were 8 months behind on the rent (second time he's lied about paying and hasn't). That's embarrassing for me, as I've never missed a payment in my life. I paid for the sundries, he paid for the rent and it balanced out about the same. Only he didn't pay it.

His father died in May 2022 and he was suddenly a dedicated family man again - with the kids, not with me. 3 months later he went out, came back at 7am with crap all over his knees, hid his trousers under the bed and lied repeatedly about what had happened. We live in a dry place, he said it was water on the road when it hadn't rained for 2 months.

Probably not in order but things got worse with more non-payment for things and lying about it, not turning up for appointments for all his kids, finding drugs in the house, he bought condoms that clearly weren't for us, he went to every conference for extended periods and has been going out at home until 7am. I'm generally being left alone for the most part with our 2 kids and regularly his daughter as well.

I think anyone would say that the relationship is over, and probably was a long time ago. I think I know that but because of the kids i haven't left. So the confessions of love between being out I want to believe but I know I can't really. So has anyone been in this situation that can help?

What do I do please?

#relationships #advice #leave or not to leave

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quercussp · 6 years

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Favorite phanfics of 2018 (pt 2): oneshot edition

You can find part 1 here.

Oof I finally got through most of my reading and here are my favorite short (under 10k) phanfics of the second half of 2018. They are ordered by publication date, from the middle of June to December. They also don’t include any of the phandomficfests secret santa fics, there were just too many for me to go through in time and I’ll just make a list of my favorites later. Also, because of the incredible amount of works published this year (yay!!!!) I am absolutely sure I missed a lot of stuff, please let me know if you think I missed a fave of yours.

alone and together (M, 1.8k) by @symmetricdnp - a 2010 fic that captures that feeling of a still new but incredibly important relationship, when you know this is something big but are still a little bit afraid of it, or afraid of not being afraid of it. Made me feel all the feels.

matte black (G, 1.4k) by @waveydnp - a 2018 tour fic about nail polish and also everything else. So beautiful I want to cry just thinking about it.

you're the ultimate high that i'm tripping on (M, 7.2k) by @onedirectionticketss1 - the type of d/s fic I love to read. It is about people and communication and love for each other, not about fitting into roles assigned by the dynamic. The level of communication and nuance described in this fic is absolutely phenomenal and I love every word.

and i'll admire your expensive taste (G, 1.4k) by @legdabs - a fic about how much clothes can say or not say and about self acceptance and identity and breaking down boundaries. So beautiful!

high maintenance machines (T, 1.4k) by @alittledizzy - I love fics about family dynamics and the level of complexity and nuance in this one is astonishing. I love Mandy’s interpretation of Dan’s family. It’s difficult and full of different kinds of pain and of different kinds of love.

21 thoughts I had today (M, 2.3k) by @agingphangirl - a fic about bad days done in an absolutely amazing way. Dan’s internal process is frighteningly relatable and the entire fic is just stunning.

corazón tú sí sabes (love me like I like it) (M, 1k) by @babethepig - this is the type of fic that is so atmospheric it feels like you are actually visiting the place. It’s also full of love and adoration for each other and just makes me feel so happy.

give you my heat (E, 700) by @alittledizzy - a short but absolutely brilliant fic about sex and about being happy.

(not) Fair Game (E, 1.7k) by @i-am-my-opheliac - another fic about sex, with a totally different vibe, but such incredible dynamic exploration. It’s hot and beautiful and original and just brilliant.

a world alone (T, 2.2k) by @waveydnp - a fic about Dan and Phil as women. It’s amazingly in character, but with also all the things that would be different taken into account and so delicately explored. I loved it so much.

sleeping in a spotlight (E, 1.1k) by @alittledizzy - a wonderful fic about kink exploration, which is one of my favorite things to read about. It’s full of communication and acceptance of each other and is just a wonderful read.

Hands (E, 4.4k) by TooAttachedToDelete - if you know me, you know I have a thing for hands. And for power dynamics. And for d/s. And for communication. This is basically the perfect fic for me.

when the sun goes down (M, 1.4k) by @alittledizzy - first sex done in a way that makes my heart ache with love for the both of them. It’s an AU but Dan and Phil are both so in character and so them. Absolutely brilliant.

nothing but my smile (T, 2k) by @templeofshame - this is the type of fic that just makes me think about things for hours. An incredibly deep dive into exploring what certain actions or inactions mean, with thorough research and a lot of thought. I loved it so much.

Double Ended (M, 1.1k) by @auroraphilealis - a fic about a double ended dildo, and also about how amazing sex can be in all of it’s different manifestations.

one star (M, 500) by @alittledizzy - by this point, this is an absolute classic. I’m not even gonna say anything, if you haven’t read this, than just go do it right now, you’ll thank me later (actually thank Mandy instead).

where the trees we planted grow (T, 2.4k) by @alittledizzy (at this point, just go read Mandy’s entire ao3) - Japan and talks getting married, with so much love and familiarity with each other, it fills my heart with so much love.

10,000 emerald pools (E, 2.9k) by @kay-okays - a fic filled with so many visuals, you almost feel like a painting is being painted before your eyes. It’s beautiful in a way I can’t even properly describe.

Plus One (NR, 3.4k) by @tortitabby - a dive into Phil’s life before Dan, but also a deep exploration of Phil with Dan. I don’t know if that makes any sense, but this is an absolutely brilliant fic you have to check out.

d&p (G, 1.1k) by @waveydnp - this is the type of fic that shows how much depth and emotion fics labeled as “fluff” often have. I absolutely love it.

ooh you make me live now honey (M, 5.7k) by @onedirectionticketss1 - a fic about sex that’s real and honest and honestly hilarious. I love it so much and I just wish this type of sex was shown more often in mainstream media or films.

Would love to spend a day in the clouds (G, 2.2k) by @det395 - an outsider POV (which you know I’m an absolute sucker for) done absolutely amazingly. It’s full of nuance and detail, and is done from a very interesting point of view.

starving (G, 2.6k) by @waveydnp (again, what am I even doing here, just go read all of Sarah’s stuff) - introspection into the feeling of missing a person who is right next to you. Or missing the routine you are used to. Or missing home. Or comfort. As always with Sarah’s fics, this filled me with this deep ache and a whirl of different emotions.

Looking to the Sky to Save Me (NR, 2.4k) by @tortitabby - another thing I absolutely love reading about is conflict, and this is a perfect example of the type of fic I enjoy reading. The level of nuance is incredible and there’s so much exploration of Dan and Phil’s connection. I absolutely love it.

campfire (E, 4.4k) by @waveydnp - I love 2010 phanfics. It’s such an interesting time in their relationship to think about, and this is a perfect example of it. It’s all about young love and learning each other, and also about that settling feeling of “this is actually happening” and “this might be the biggest thing in my life”.

Clavum Nitorem. (T, 1.7k) by @phansb - an incredible exploration of gender roles and self acceptance and all the pain that comes with it.

averagely enough (G, 1.5k) by @watergator - a very interesting take on Dan’s relationship with his dad, done in a very careful and nuanced way.

even while the dust moves (G, 2.4k) by @cityofphanchester - a fic about depression and family and having a support system. It fills me with so many different feelings.

let our bodies make memories (E, 3.4k) by @symmetricdnp - sex-centered fic with intimacy and realism and which just is bursting with their love and their friendship.

a little bit of something else (E, 1.2k) by @danisnopeonfire - this is a take on their florida vacation, and it’s full of happiness and joy and being with each other.

Turn and Face the Strange (NR, 2.1k) by @tortitabby - Kathryn’s POV of 2009 Phil. A brilliant take on a mother’s love towards her child and on coming out.

Times Of Change (T, 2.4k) by @phantasticlizzy - a dive into Phil’s mind and aging and change and growth. It’s absolutely brilliant, and Lizzy’s portrayal of Phil makes me love him even more (which I wasn’t sure was possible).

soft silence / softer lips (NR, 1.1k) by @floralandrogyny - this fic is filled with so much adoration that it makes my entire soul soar. I loved it so much.

A Green Menace (G, 500) by @megiaolf - an AU where Phil makes plants. It’s really short but it paints an incredible universe in which both Dan and Phil fit so organically. This is definitely one of those fics that will surprise you.

old hat, new hat (T, 1.3k) by @iihappydaysii - a very interesting take on Phil’s relationships with his friends and how they changed with the appearance of Dan in his life.

Hungover but Sober (T, 3k) by thesassykels66 - this fic portrays the type of anxiety and tiredness that I can physically feel while reading, and also so much understanding and support a partner can offer. Just a brilliant take on being very tired and overwhelmed.

we got the north lights (E, 1k) by @alittledizzy - a snippet of the tour and their time in Australia, filled with familiarity and love for each other.

make this feel like home (M, 6.1k) by @onedirectionticketss1 - conflict and tiredness done in an incredibly realistic and nuanced way, with so many different emotions and themes. So brilliant.

even if (T, 5.4k) by @thelesterhowells - so technically this isn’t a one shot, but it’s too short to go into my long fic rec list, and I really want to share it with you guys. It’s an amazing fic with a really interesting alternative universe, but done in a way that really highlights the differences and parallels this universe would have with the canon. I think it’s a brilliant idea and it’s done really beautifully, so check it out!

for a better tomorrow (G, 7.7k) by @cityofphanchester - family is so difficult. Dealing with your loved one’s relationship with their family is difficult. Dealing with depression is difficult. This fic just includes so many different aspects of their lives and is extraordinary and beautiful.

Insight Between Black and White (T, 4.6k) by @tortitabby - a very interesting take out outing, and on how both Dan and Phil would react to it. There’s so much to unpack in how differently they would react and how they would support each other. This is such a brilliant exploration of that.

for you are not beside but within me (E, 6.9k) by @obsessivelymoody - this is a story filled with so much love for a place, it really makes you feel like you are in Vancouver with Dan and Phil. I really really loved this story.

say your confessions (T, 2.3k) by @watergator - a beautiful fic about Dan and Phil being in India, with an incredible atmosphere and some interesting insights into the last time Dan was there.

running you with red (T, 6.3k) by @waveydnp - the infamous nurse AU by Sarah that is just an amazing piece of art. The universe is incredible realistic and vibrant and the whole fic with all the comfort and love and urgency it has leaves me breathless.

someone that I forgot to be (G, 1k) by @capriciouscrab - a wonderful take on Phil coming out, and how scary and complicated it is, and what it means to him and to Dan.

paint it on your face (M, 500) by @onedirectionticketss1 - a very original take on the concept of soulmate marks. I love it so much!

wanna run away (but i won't) (T, 1.1k) by @capriciouscrab - this fic hit me like a ton of bricks. Dealing with depression is really difficult, but dealing with someone else’s depression is also a very painful and difficult thing to do, and this fic explores it wonderfully.

two eggs, lightly beaten (G, 1k) by @alittledizzy - a fic about Dan and Phil taking care of each other and the back and forth any relationship has when one person needs some extra support.

all your thoughts running through your head (M, 2.2k) by @onedirectionticketss1 - a beautiful exploration of gender identity and gender roles, both individually and in a relationship.

between two lungs (G, 860) by @uselessphillie - an exploration of Dan’s relationship with his family and with Phil, full of comfort and intimacy.

archive of his own (T, 1.6k) by @velvetnautilus - a fic about outing and about the breaking of the fourth wall and also just exploration of what fanfiction means to people. I’ve never read something so meta and so realistic at the same time, an absolute masterpiece.

back to those tokyo nights (M, 3k) by @waveydnp - relationships grow and evolve, and there is something incredibly romantic about being in that point of a relationship where you are sure about what’s going to happen next. This is a brilliant exploration of relationship growth and coming to terms with it.

ellen (G, 3k) by @watergator - being a parent is incredibly scary (I imagine), and I really loved this take on that fear and that uncertainty that comes with it.

into your glow (E, 3.8k) by @kay-okays - have I mentioned somewhere here that I absolutely love kink exploration?:) Well I do, and this is no exception. The level of communication and depth that goes into kink exploration is so amazing to read about, I just can’t recommend this enough.

zig zag boy (G, 1.4k) by @velvetnautilus - a magician AU that shook me to the very core. This universe is incredible and unexpected, and their relationship is so so interesting to read about.

make it out when the sun is ruined (E, 6.1k) by @waveydnp - seeing your loved one in danger definitely brings out some of the biggest fears and a lot of pain. This fic really dives into what it means to love someone in a way that you don’t know how to even live with the thought that they might not be there. It’s brilliant and beautiful and very nuanced.

Get drunk on the good life (T, 2k) by Midgetphan - a take on Dan and Phil on vacation. It’s so bursting with love and companionship and intimacy, really makes me so happy.

Because you and I shine (G, 1.9k) by Midgetphan - a fic about the pure adoration that Dan has for Phil which just makes my heart soar because of how beautiful and emotional it is.

You fit me tailor-made, love how you put it on (M, 600) by Midgetphan - a take on threesome dynamics but not really. I love this because it’s a very interesting thing to think about and a very interesting dynamic to explore in a relationship, something that requires very deep trust and communication.

nod my head (don't close my eyes) (E, 2.5k) by @alittledizzy - Mandy’s take on Phil’s mind always leaves me breathless and in love with him, and this work of art is no exception.

In my arms (T, 2.7k) by @phantasticlizzy - this is the purest hurt/comfort fic I could have ever asked for, a fic that feels like a hug, full of love and emotion and support and fear for your loved ones. I love it so much, I have no words.

Conjuncture (M, 6.9k) by @yikesola - a 2013 fic about Dan’s depression and the ways that Phil tried to help. It’s filled with the sense of helplessness that comes with seeing your loved ones struggle but not knowing what you can do about it, but also filled with hope for the future.

some kind of magic (E, 2k) by @alittledizzy and @waveydnp - another very interesting time period - 2011 - done in a very delicate way. The fic is all about insecurities and newness and excitement for what’s yet to come, and it just fills me with so much emotion to read about all of that knowing what their life was after all of this, what it is now. So beautiful and brilliant, truly a treat for all of us.

let the jameson sink in (T, 1.1k) by @alittledizzy - a drunk Phil is something that I would absolutely love to see in real life, and this is almost better. Phil having a conversation with Marianne, with his inhibitions lowered and just being himself. I really really loved this.

not a social monster (G, 2.3k) by @templeofshame - Phil’s relationship with his brother is something that I absolutely love reading about, especially when it’s done so thoughtfully and carefully.

discourse (G, 450) by badbadnotgood - a short but lovely take on that now iconic bath scene in PINOF 10.

december 9th: you worry me something stupid (G, 1.6k) by @watergator - a fic about family and about missing each other and trusting each other to know how you feel, and it’s just an absolutely wonderful read.

like (T, 3.8k) by @iihappydaysii - reading this broke my heart in the best way. Parenting is really really hard and this is so heartbreaking and realistic and emotional. I really really love it.

fringe check (E, 2.6k) by CoffinWeaver (politely_ironic) - it’s amazing how much hair can affect us. I love fics exploring Phil’s new haircut and the emotions behind it, and this is no exception.

sweet dreams (T, 1.9k) by @waveydnp - I love exploring dynamics in an established relationship, and this is definitely one that really interested me. I love the differences between how Dan and Phil treat the same things in a relationship, and how they mean different things to them.

Old Habit, New Setting (E, 3.5k) by @yikesola - kink exploration and communication done in a very interesting way. Also it’s a very interesting kink to explore. It has a lot of nostalgia and a lot of acceptance of one another, and it’s just beautifully written.

the moon is right (T, 2k) by @alittledizzy - Dan talking with someone from his old life is definitely a guilty pleasure of mine, and this is just a wonderful take on that.

december 22nd: a mothers secrets (G, 3k) by @watergator - this is such a brilliant take on Dan’s mother. I really really love her character here, it’s unexpected but so realistic and so vibrant.

A Christmas Tail (T, 9.2k) by thewakeless - an incredibly cute fic from a dog’s point of view. It’s happiness in pure fic form, so adorable and so warm and happy. Just treat yourself to this amazing fic, it’s really worth it.

changes (turn and face the strange) (T, 3.9k) by happy_hufflepuffle - a very interesting take on Kath’s perspective and a very beautiful coming out moment. Family is difficult and Kath is no angel, but there is so much love in this fic, it really makes me emotional.

not what i asked for (G, 2.8k) by @capriciouscrab - this fic really captures the exhaustion and vulnerability I associate with therapy, and it has a brilliant insight into Phil’s mind.

Ok, I’m done for now. I really hope this is useful for someone, because it took me a really long time to make:) Thank you so much to all the writers who spend their time and energy creating amazing works of art for us to enjoy!

You can find the list of my other recs here, as well as a list of my own fics. Thank you so much and I hope this isn’t too long:)

#phan #phanfiction #fic rec #fic rec list #i would love to see other people's favorites #everyone has different tastes and it's so interesting to see other people's fic recs #again thank you to everyone who has made 2018 such a wonderful year in this fandom #it's been absolutely amazing #i really hope you guys enjoy this list #please let me know if any of the links are broken #or if i tagged someone incorrectly

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sitp-recs · 2 years

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Do you think the friendship between George and Harry is underrepresented in Drarry fanfics? From my experience, when fics explore Harrys relationship with the Weasleys its usually Ron (obviously) and then either/or Ginny+Charlie that are used as the "next in line"-Weasley-connection. When during the school years his textually most explored relationship, after Ron, is with Fred and George. The Weasleys he has the most one-page interaction w/ are - i believe- Ron, the Twins, Arthur and Molly

Interesting ask, anon! I would say I see way less George in fics than I’d have initially expected considering him and Fred are so present in the books. I wonder if that’s due to characterization challenges? I personally think the Weasleys are rather challenging to write - especially a post-war George who’s mourning Fred’s death - so it would make sense to explore characters we don’t know much about, like Charlie, instead. Your ask made me thought of a few fics with George I really like so I’m sharing them in case anyone else’s interested in seeing some George Weasley appreciation today! It includes Drarry and rare pairs both.

Drarry:

The Wedding Banquet by pir8fancier (2005, E, 4k)

I'm lying when I'm looking away by InnerLilith (2022, E, 6.7k)

Sometimes it takes a Purim party and a flapper dress for Harry to figure out what he likes. (Spoiler: He likes Malfoy.)

On Target by milkandhoney, The_Sinking_Ship (2021, E, 13k)

A charity dunk tank, some sorry excuses for friends, a Slytherin with freakishly good aim, a (mostly) empty locker room, and one very small towel. Because, apparently, everyone is dying to get Harry Potter wet.

All Roads Lead Home by dracogotgame (2015, G, 15k)

Draco is strong-armed into spending the first Christmas after the War with the Weasleys. And Harry Potter.

This is Never Happening Again by hpleems (2018, M, 32k)

“Potter,” Malfoy said, shaking his head. “Do I look like I care about your holiday plans? Trust me: this is *never* happening again.”

Like Clockwork by agentmoppet (2017, E, 39k)

Draco has never been very good at trusting others, and Potter is no exception. But if they're going to survive this, they need to accept that they're holding each other's lives in their hands, and--worst of all--they're going to have to work together.

Little Spaces by dracoladon, lazywonderland (2020, E, abandoned WIP) - Harry/Draco, Harry/Charlie

Draco's back from France and working on the spell damage ward at St Mungo's with Hermione, who invites him over for dinner. Without telling Harry.

Other ships:

You've Been Had by Lokifan (2016, E, 4.7k) - dark Fred/Draco/George, cw noncon

George and Harry might have smacked Malfoy around after that Quidditch match, but thanks to Umbridge, he still needs putting in his place.

Maybe by Vorabiza (2007, T, 5k) - Harry/George

George and Harry need some time alone to heal, but being alone together opens up new possibilities.

Just Like You by wynnebat (2021, E, 9k) - Harry/George

Of friendship, grief, and getting it on with a polyjuice version of your deceased loved ones.

Hopelessly Devoted To You by Writcraft (2020, E, 10k) - Harry/George

Harry and George watch a lot of musicals and accidentally fall in love.

Viscum Album by Camaendir (2018, T, 13k) - Draco/Ron, past Draco/Charlie

George and Ron are decorating for the Weasley Christmas party and George breaks out his newest product, Kiss-and-Go Mistletoe. All is good until Teddy Lupin shows up with Draco and Scorpius Malfoy. As the night progresses, Ron discovers that people can change for the better.

Two out of Three by wynnebat (2014, T, 15k) - Harry/George

A few years after the war, Harry thinks he has the ideal life. He's working his way up to his ideal job, he's still together with his Hogwarts sweetheart, he's got a couple of great friends, and he's love potioned to the gills.

Treacle Treat by @orange-peony (2021, E, 30k) - Harry/Ron

Fred's funeral turns out to be quite lovely, Harry thinks, in spite of how heartbroken they all feel. Everyone says something nice or funny about Fred, trying to remember the good moments. Harry can’t get the words out, but Ron is by his side, the back of his hand pressed against Harry’s, his eyebrows scrunched up as he sobs quietly.

May Contain Nuts by scoradh (2006, E, 32k) - Harry/George, cw MCD

After Voldemort is defeated, the script for Harry's life comes to an end. Unsure of what to do with his life, he does nothing. Only one person is on hand to show Harry that a hero is not the sum of his vanquished enemies, but he's got problems of his own.

#asks #anon #george weasley #drarry recs #rare pairs recs

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jennibeultimate · 3 years

Text

Personal recap Olympics 2022 - Men FS

Don't know if anyone is interested anymore, but I do it nonetheless. Again this is a personal recap, so feel free to agree or disagree with me. I needed some time to process what happened in the free skate.

I think this free skate as a whole was kinda a bit opposite to the short program. A lot skaters made many many mistakes. Some smaller mistakes, some bigger mistakes. If memory serves me right Jason Brown is the only skater without a single mistake, but ofc he wasn't performing quads while everyone else at least tried one...

First I am beyond proud of Yuzu and Shoma! ❤️ You fought well!

I like to talk about Yuzuru Hanyu first because I think him coming to Beijing was brave. He was and is still dealing with a massive injury (he iced his ankle just right after the skate), he won everything this sport has to offer, he is already in the history books not only as the first to land the 4Lo but also as the first to win a superslam, a thing no other male single skater achieved - there was no need to show up and try to defend his title. And also he knew his name would bring the media attention (his first practice was so full of reporters some had to stay out) and with all eyes on him tremendous pressure (just like Shoma acknowledged in the press con) BUT he took the challenge, he even challenged the 4A - a jump that is deemed impossible - and he was damn close in making it happen in the free. He had a gap from the SP and if he would just have wanted a medal he could have played save, but he didn't. Yuzu didn't come here to be 2nd or 3rd and he said before he knew he could only win with a landed 4A. The 4A was his primary goal, not a medal. And getting the credit for being the first skater to call himself to go for a 4A, this he has achieved. (all other so far tried 4As cannot be called 4A, because they were downgraded) Yuzu didn't go down without a fight. Yes he had two falls, yes it wasn't enough for the podium, but he was 4th in the end. He delivered the rest of his program beautifully. Yuzu had a beautiful costume and I am always in awe of this unusual unique program and music. 😍

Yuzu - I have no words to describe my gratitude for all you have done for this sport for Japan. You are the reason I got to like and watch men figure skating. I will forever be thankful to you. ❤️

Shoma Uno might be the happiest Bronze medal winner you can find at the Olympics.

Congratulations on your Bronze medal! 🥉 The 3rd Olympic medal too! Who would have thought that after all these years of struggle between Pyeongchang 2018 and now? Many ppl thought his career was over after IdF 2019 and even after last WTT2021 ppl counted him completely out of any medal contention or some were even wondering if he would make it to the Olympics. But he fought. He found a new love for skating and he found a new will to fight for the top. This is why this medal is so significant for him.

Shoma was visibly nervous during his free skate. I think he did better Bolero programs through this season, but I think no one - even if I wished for it - thought he would deliver a clean skate. Especially not with nagging injury and training loss. As you may know I am not the biggest fan of Bolero, but this version is quite catchy and not as boring as the original. Especially the step sequence was lit 🔥 the later cantilever to end is gorgeous! 😍 Yeah he had some unfortunate mistakes, but he did 5 quads! He did miss a combo and yes the free skate was obviously struggld, but there were good elements too. The spins and steps, both 3As, the 2nd 4T, the opening 4Lo. He gave away lots of points, but the high BV saved him from falling further down the ranking. Though he had a singled Flip and a combo missing, he had a whopping 88,53 BV - the 4th highest behind Nathan, Yuzu and Daniel Grassl. This and his SP gap saved him the Bronze 🥉. (and even if we would give his 4S an UR and a little lower PCS, he still would have placed before Yuzu, but ofc the gap could have been smaller, but Yuzu also had the disadvantage of the earlier group and the PCS cap applied for multiple mistakes. And seems like PCS is not applied for pops in this comp or Jason, Nathan and Yuma all would have had one major mistake, but it wasn't seen in their PCS. And Shoma's PCS would have been to be capped at 90 as well.)

Congrats to Yuma Kagiyama for taking Silvee🥈 !

Admittedly I am not the biggest Yuma fan, but I can very well see his basics are phenomenally good. He has very smooth skating just like his idol Shoma and just like his idol Shoma he took Silver at his first Olympics. I think it was one of his best performances of this program. It builds quite well. And he has very clever layout with the 3Lo combo and also adding the 4Lo was pretty gutsy considering he didn't land many of them in practice. I just feel he doesn't emote as well as others to the audience yet. And that's why - especially live in the arena - his skates don't really touch me. I mean Shoma is also small but he just has this presence on ice, ofc in the free Shoma was nervous, so he wasn't as good as he could be, but Yuma is small but also has small presence. He is cute and his reactions are absolutely adorable, but he just doesn't have the same appeal. I think on TV it's better hidden than live in the arena as TV is closer to the skater and can do some of the transport to the audience. Not to be mistaken I think he does it totally fine for his age, just I am a little astounded how high his PCS got in so little time. But I guess delivering good programs over the season helped. His Silver is well deserved. And he is definitely one of the main contenders for the next years if he stays healthy.

Congrats to Nathan Chen! 🥇

I think going back to Rocket Man was the right choice. There is no doubt about his consistency and this is also what kept him a constant frontrunner for the past years. I think his win is totally fine. He delivered two clean programs. And he really looked as if he enjoyed his program even if it only showed in the last minute. BUT wth are those 97 PCS? 😱 This is over the top, just no way justified. My continuous problem with Nathan is the way he is scored. It's not his fault and contrary to some others I don't think his quads deserve no GOEs, so I think apart from the 3A his quads are very good and his TES are mostly deservedly high. I have some beef with his spins as the positions are not pleasing to my eyes. I will never be a Nathan Chen fan as I still find his basic skating rather scratchy and I miss a good knee bend, but we all know PCS are attached to TES and this may not be right, but it can't helped. And anyone thinking Nathan deserves 7s when the last placed skater get 7s is really delusional. I have seen Nathan live couple of times and he is fast on the ice and his performance ain't as bad as some make it out to be, but is this deserving of 97 PCS, just no way. He would have won with 88-90 PCS too. Overall I think the PCS are too high and there is too little difference to distinguish between the skaters.

Junhwan Cha is my newfound love this season. And he continues to amaze me. ❤️ After that awful fall he fought so good. And his Ina Bauer is just so amazing 😍😍😍 the 5th place is a superb finish for the 4CC champ. 👍

Jason Brown - his skate was beautiful. I think it was one of the best programs of the night. But I don't know why only he is able to get sky high PCS with lower TES? And also almost everyone would probably have more transitions and more complex programs if they would skate with triples only and this is probably what gets a bit on my nerves when ppl say "Jason deserves so much better everyone else could also tone quads down and get better PCS then" but yeah only if your name is Jason you get such GOEs for triples and the PCS too. Yes I know PCS and TES should not relate, but how come TES and PCS go together for everyone, but not for Jason? Deniss Vasiljews has an equal amount of beautifully performed triples but neither his TES nor PCS reach slightly the same heights as Jason's? Maybe the passport plays a part? I am glad Jason made it to the Olympics, but he is probably the last person to get away without a quad.

Daniel Grassl moved up quite a lot. He had the 4th best free skate and I think the 3rd highest TES. I think his skating style is aesthetically unpleasing. His jump form is wild and his programs are weird, but you can see his effort. So I applaud the try. And Daniel best European skater. Well done!

Extremely happy for Boyang Jin. I think this was the first free skate in years he was really good. And that magnificent 4Lz is to die for 😍😍😍 I am sad he lost a lot on his consistency, but this is why I am so happy about his 9th place finish and it gives me hope that one day soon we'll have Boyang fighting for the podium again. 👍

The post becomes endless again that's why I will stick to some of my personal highlights:

Adam Saio Him Fa - what a cool unique stunning program full of energy. ⚡⚡⚡If he learns to control some of his energy he could also be a contender for the top!

Kevin Aymoz - maybe one of the most beautiful performers out there. 😍😍😍He seemed to have overcome a bit of his struggles during the season. I think 12th place finish was all he could hope for.

Deniss Vasiljews - such a beautiful program! ❤️ Sadly the 4S didn't happen in the free but still great effort! ❤️

Keegan Messing - he is just such a charming person and skater and he was oldest in the field. He always has very personal programs and I always smile when Keegan skates. ❤️ His baby is so adorable! What a proud dad!

Congratulations to all Olympians! May y'all have a good rest now! 😊

Thank you for reading one of the longest takes! Here is your well deserved cookie 🥠!

#figure skating #shoma uno #yuzuru hanyu #nathan chen #yuma kagiyama #Olympics 2022 #beijing 2022 #personal recap

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incomprehensiblelentils · 3 years

Text

Bering and Wells Reunion Panel Transcription (4/17/2021)

This is from the ClexaCon Virtual panel with Joanne Kelly and Jaime Murray, with Dana Piccoli as moderator and Mark as ASL interpreter. I spent around six hours on this and there were really only a couple of brief bits I couldn’t make out - I tried to make this as thorough as possible even though the audio quality was iffy at points and there was a lot of overlapping talking. I also included all of the ums and uhs in the interest of thoroughness so sorry if that gets annoying. Let me know if I’ve gotten any screen names wrong.

Content notes: brief discussion of on-set injury, allusions to homophobia from higher-ups, discussions of hostile workplace experiences due to gender, brief discussion of the ovarian cancer subplot, Jo misgenders Mark once and then corrects herself.

Dana: And I think we are live! Hey everyone, welcome, welcome, this is day 2 of ClexaCon Virtual. So glad to be here with you for our Warehouse 13 Bering and Wells panel. What a great video! I believe that was Mal that made that. Fantastic work! [They showed a fanvid prior to the panel on the stream.] Uh, I want to take a second to introduce Mark, our ASL interpreter. Thank you so much for being here, Mark. Well, I know that the Bering and Wells fandom is still going strong and, um, I’m so excited to be able to present this panel to you today, so without further ado, let’s get started. It’s been seven years since we last embarked on the wonderfully quirky world of Warehouse 13 and we’re thrilled to have not one, but two of the show’s stars here with us, Bering and Wells in the flesh, please welcome Joanne and Jaime!

Jo: [laughs] Hi!

Jaime: Hi guys!

Dana: Hi!

Jaime: Oh my goodness, I was tearing up watching that, that was just...

Dana: It’s so good, right?

Jaime: And Mal made it, of course, I mean just, the fandom is so amazing, that we have a fan who made that amazing movie, and I’m sitting here... were you tearing up, Jo?

Jo: Yeah... [laughs]

Dana: She’s like, I can’t talk right now!

Jaime: Aww.

Jo: Yeah, it’s, you know, it’s like, it’s like a, a wormhole, it’s like going in a wormhole, really, to see that put together in that way, and just, that somebody did that is, um, crazy, wonderful.

Jaime: Yeah.

Dana: When, when we are in person in, uh, in, in Las Vegas, I’m often backstage with the actors as they see these videos maybe f- for the first time, and your reaction is the reaction that everyone has. They all get teary, they all just like hold onto each other, it’s, it’s really sweet and wonderful.

Jaime: Oh my gosh, I, I wish I could go back in time and like, we film more of it and, and enjoy it more, because sometimes when you’re in it, you’re just going so fast and, you know, you don't even realize the meaning of, of, of what you’ve created until you see it through the eyes of the fans and what it meant to them, and then I, I wish I could lean into it more. [laughs]

Dana: Well, we’re certainly gonna get into that. [laughs]

Jaime: [laughs]

Dana: Alright, well, let’s kick things off! Uh, as of a we- a week ago, I was prepping to interview Jaime, and then suddenly the heavens opened up, and what was one became two. [they laugh] Joanne joined the party! How did this crazy kismet even happen?

Jo: I’m trying this new thing where I say yes. [laughs]

Jaime: [laughs] Well done!

Jo: Thanks. [laughs] Um, it’s a new thing I’m trying. Um, Jaime texted me and she’s like, I'm doing this thing, we had talked about it, I think the last panel we did at Dragon*Con maybe?

Jaime: Yeah.

Dana: 2018.

Jo: And she had told me about ClexaCon and I was like, that, because I really enjoyed that panel that we did, it felt, you know, I think one of the reasons, and I think that the work between us is, and I look at it now and I’m so touched because I, and I also just think the world of Jaime as an actor, I think she’s brilliant and her choices are so clean and-

Jaime: Ditto.

Jo: -full heart forward, like I, I’ve always been a fan of what she bought, and just personally on set I was in a, it was a very male environment, and Jaime came and I was like, oh my god, like, someone to talk to, someone who cared, and she took care of me, like she really - so I just, I don’t know, when she reached out I was like, of course, yes, yes.

Dana: Like it’s in two days, sure! Let’s, let’s go!

Jaime: We missed each other as well. It was also an opportunity to hang out, like, we missed each other!

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: We had this flurry of texts of like, checking in with each other, and what-

Jo: What have you been watching? what are you doing?

Jaime: Yeah.

Jo: Where are you?

Jaime: Yeah, so.

Dana: Oh, that’s amazing! So you’ve maintained this really wonderful friendship since, since the end of the show.

Jo: Yeah, I mean, actors are nomads and we’re very sort of, I feel, Jaime, I don’t know if you feel the same way, but it’s like those friends that you have that you don’t see forever, but when you see them you fall back into a rhythm automatically, there’s never, it doesn’t feel push or pulled, it’s just, it’s just nice.

Jaime: I, I think also for us, um, I think there’s a sisterhood as well, you know, I think that, you know, Jo just touched on it. You know, often in a cast there’s, um, it’s changing and it’s evolving all the time, and this was seven years ago, and it was seven years before that, it started, so like fourteen years ago-

Jo: Oh my god. [laughs]

Jaime: But there’s, ninety nine point five percent of the people behind the camera are men, the majority of the parts are often men, or it’s, it’s male and women, but the men have the more heroic bits and the funnier lines and you’re kind of struggling with that and you’re glad to be working so you’re kind of making good and making it okay, but you’re kind of like, you know, getting feels, and, you know, as, as Joanne said, it, you know, you’re laughing at dick jokes when you don’t find them particularly funny- [all laugh]

Jo: Like wow! Oh! [sarcastic thumbs up]

Jaime: And so when I came in, I saw Jo - I had been on shows, like I was on a show called Hustle, I was the only girl in the cast, and then everybody, uh, behind the camera was, um, all men. Um, on Warehouse we had one female writer on some episodes, um, we never had a fe- uh, um, a female director on anything or a producer-

Jo: No we had, we had Tawn- [presumably about to mention Tawnia McKiernan] we had two fem- we had a few, but we were-

Jaime: No- no- not on my, not on my episodes.

Jo: Oh, on yours.

Jaime: But it was just like, I came in and I saw Jo and I understood, and I knew what her experience was, and so there was this kind of kinhood, this sisterhood, and I think it, it’s not a male-female thing, but it’s, it’s a minority and majority thing. When you’re in a minority and the majority is doing something, you either have to get down with the program and go with that flow, or you get kind of fe- you feel like you’re difficult or annoying to everybody. And I kind of came in and I just was like, oh like, I get it, it’s hard, and I’m gonna give this woman, like, my, my energy and my love and, so it was-

Dana: So you were like I- you looked at Joanne and you were like, that is someone I can smash the patriarchy with!

Jaime: [laughs] Yes.

Dana: Let’s do it!

Jo: No, I read a lot of books [laughs] when we weren’t filming. I would like get on my chair and just be like this. [mimes holding book in front of face]

Jaime: Yes!

Jo: [laughs] Like I’m doing this now, I’ll see you guys when we’re rolling again, you know, it was really- and, but also, you know, it’s so, and it is changing, it’s changing and evolving in a really, um, at a wonderful rate, but also I would get so excited to be in a scene with another woman that wasn’t about a man, you know, or that we weren’t- uh, it was just so nice to have girl-girl scenes. That never happens, it hardly ever happens. Like, the majority of scenes that you do are about love or acrimony with men, um, and it’s so nice to have a relationship with a woman that’s, um, sort of reflective of how relationships with women actually are. Um, I’ve been, I shifted into writing because of frustration with just not reading stories that I felt were reflective of our, my experience as a woman, you know, that sort of, um, and I think that Bering and Wells sort of in, I mean, that’s when that ship turned for me, as well.

Dana: Well ho- hold that thought, we are, we are going there!

Jaime: And, and also because it wasn’t, it actually wasn’t written. Um, there was, in a way we were able to steer that ship, and then we’d already kind of given a road map for the way this energy was, so it wasn’t written in the conventional way. Like, even like, when a, when a, when a, when a woman will have a love interest it’s, it’s often written by men and it’s o- often in a conventional kind of way, whereas our relationship, at a time before people were even kind of, uh, exploring this that much, um, now, now much more, thank god, it’s more, more inclusive. But it was more kind of, um, uh, complicated than, than maybe would’ve been written about, so it was given more nuance, yeah.

Jo: You mean like, do you mean like actual relationships? [laughs]

Jaime: You what? Say that again?

Jo: Like actual relationships! [laughs]

Jaime: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [laughs]

Jo: You know, that don’t come in and you have a “where they start and where they finish,” like that we, oh, we know where they’re gonna end up so we’ll just gonna-

Dana: Right, right.

Jo: -move them around like chess pieces. It was actually an energy that Jaime and I created, and the story sort of evolved from that energy as - it was inside out as opposed to outside in, which I think made it a real relationship.

Dana: Well, so my friend Dorthy Snarker, she once said that HG and Myka’s storyline has been main text pretending to be subtext, which feels really apt to me.

Jaime: Yeah!

Dana: So at what point-

Jo: Very smart.

Dana: What point in the show did it really click with the two of you that this connection that HG and Myka shared was something much deeper?

Jo: Jaime just had, Jaime, you just explained this very coolly in, in, um-

Jaime: One of our chats.

Jo: Yeah, yeah. Why don’t you speak to this, why don’t you take this?

Jaime: Well, well, first of all like I said, there was like kind of this sisterhood when I came in and, um, Jo, uh, Jo wasn’t like, like it wasn’t like I came in and she was like hey let’s be friends. I came in and she was behind a book, and she wasn’t particularly accessible, and she wasn’t, like, she was a bit grumpy, you know. And so I was like, my personality type is like, how do I crack this nut? [laughs] How do I make this woman love me? [laughs] This is the most unaccessible woman-

Dana: That explai- Jaime that explains a lot! [laughs]

Jaime: This is the most unaccessible women on the set, the mo- the most unaccessible human to me. How do I make her fall in love with me? So it’s like partly my narcissism-

Jo: [laughs] Jaime Murray in a nutshell, everyone!

Jaime: -and my ego, um, so I was kind of winning her over off set, and then, you know, as she was opening up to me and, you know, she was kind of telling me about some of the challenges she was coming up against, I was like, yeah, that’s, that’s not fair, and yeah, I completely get that, you know. So we were kind of like having that kind of journey, I’m like, like, I’m like, oh no, you’re not crazy, everyone else is crazy! Like, let’s smash the patriarchy!

Jo: [laughs]

Jaime: And then, and then unfortunately, um, Jo hurt herself really badly doing a stunt, and, um, you know, there’s no time to hurt yourself on a film set, and there’s no time to take time and, and kind of heal your back or anything like that. So she was taking some pretty strong painkillers and she was working through it, and I had spinal surgery, I, I know what back pain is like, it’s, it’s the worst. I mean, it’s literally everything, you know, you feel like an old person. And so I was, um, taking care of her as best as I could, and we had the scene, and it was the scene in the street where, I, I think it's the first scene that, where I get the grappler out-

Dana: Oh, the grappler.

Jaime: And I shoot it into the air and I put my arm around her and we shoot up-

Dana: We’re very familiar with this scene. [laughs]

Jo: [doing grappler motion] [laughs]

Jaime: Yeah, so, so it’s like, it had like, physicality, and also it was a really, um, we always laugh that Toronto has about five seasons in one day, so you’ll like start shooting the scene and then suddenly there’s a, like a snowstorm! Bright sunshine!

Jo: Then it’s sunny! Then rain!

Jaime: Torrential rain, wind - and it was one of those, and we had to move to a new location, we were really behind in the day, and she had this one pice of hair that kept on like blowing in her face-

Dana: Oh, I know where this is going, Jaime. [laughs]

Jaime: And she was, the thing was, she was like, also these painkillers-

Jo: I was like, I can’t even see with the hair, I was like, I was hopped up on so many painkillers...

Jaime: Yeah, she was hopped up, she was like, I can’t even get my hair out of the way!

Jo: I think I actually called that day, it was the only time where I was like, guys I can’t work anymore, like, I literally, the doctor was like, you need to rest and I’m like I can’t. And the first AD came over to me and he was like, you’re gonna have to say stop, because nobody is gonna stop the filming, and I didn't wanna do that because you don't want to be the person that, that loses the day.

Jaime: That’s part of it, isn’t it? You’re, you can’t be, you can’t have any vulnerability or be a woman in any way, any shape or form on a film set. [laughs]

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: So I knew in the morning, and so I’d been like trying to take care of her and had, had like this experience of having spinal surgery, so I was like caretaking as much, as best as I could. I’m a Cancerian as well, so it’s in my nature.

Dana: Sure.

Jaime: And, um, and we‘re in this scene and we’d had to kind of cut so many times, and this hair just kind of-

Jo: [laughs]

Jaime: -came over her face like this, and I just lent forward and on my line I just moved the hair out of her, um, face and put it back, and there was this, this look of genuine-

Jo: [laughs]

Jaime: -surprise and shock in her face because we hadn’t rehearsed it and, and, and you know, we rehearse everything, and then, and then Joanne, what did you say that you-

Jo: I said I had this feeling, you know, when she did that I was like, oooh, um, what’s happening? [laughs]

Dana: [laughs]

Jaime: What are these feelings I’m having?

Jo: I did not expect all these feelings.

Jaime: Someone is being nice to me in this hostile world!

Jo: I was like this is so, it was like, pink light came up and there was glitter all of a sudden, and a unicorn in the back and, um-

Dana: Yep.

Jaime: They were really good drugs, you can’t, they’re illegal now, you can’t get them now cause they’re illegal now, but-

Jo: [laughs] No, no! But that point I’d say that the storyline really developed from inside out, you know outside, it was actually something, she did something that made me respond in a certain way, and as an actor you have those openings and you can choose to go, you either close them, like if, if I don’t like an actor [laughs] and someone does something, I might go like, no, I don’t wanna gonna go with that- [laughs]

Jaime: Yeah.

Jo: -and change the track, but because I love Jaime and, and that happened, I sort of just was like I’m gonna go with this energy and see where it leads. And so it was a very organic, and it took me completely, and I had not expected it, it took me completely- but I liked it, so I started, then that...

Dana: So you are the reason, you two are the captains of the Bering and Wells ship. You made that happen!

Jaime: Yeah.

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: But also I felt like HG, you know, she came from an era when the suffragette movement was, um, happening, and she was active in that, however, she had to write under her brother’s name, um-

Dana: Yeah.

Jaime: And as a woman, you know, she couldn’t be even open about her brilliance and she had to let her dimwitted brother take credit for it, and then she was frozen. So she was an activist before her time and suddenly she’s waking up in a world where there’s this dynamic woman, gun-toating woman kind of using her wits and brainpower and like, god bless Pete [laughs] but he was a little bit, like, she was the brains and the brilliance, and often he would be kind of like, you know, taking the credit for it or like having the girls flirt with him, and I just felt like if I grow up, if I woke up from, you know, a dream of, of being a suffragette and I woke up and I saw Myka, surely I would be more fascinated-

Jo: [laughs]

Jaime: -by this woman who is everything that I had ever wished to be, so I started playing off this fascina- I was fascinated by her. Pete was just as stupid as my brother. [laughs]

Jo: And I do have to say, I do have to give the showrunner Jack Kenny credit here too, because Jack really let us run with it and started to lean into it, and the writers were all very accepting, so it was, and, and Jack particularly, you know, we had a lot, we had our creative differences, but he was really generous in this storyline with us, like I think, he gave us a lot of rope to play with-

Jaime: Yeah.

Jo: And it was interesting rope, because they never-

Dana: It was attached to a grappling hook is what it was!

Jo: Yeah, and they never, like what i really loved about it is the never like put it on the nose it was always very elliptical, we always had room to breathe, um-

Jaime: Well partly I don’t, I think that it was, it was, it’s funny to talk about it now because it doesn't seem that long a- long ago, but it-

Jo: But it was so long ago...

Jaime: -it was unusual-

Jo: For that.

Jaime: -for the genre and for the audience that we were going for to, to actually go there, um,

Dana: Yeah. Seven years ago, you’re absolutely right. Things have changed tremendously, and especially in the last five years.

Jo: Yeah, yeah.

Jaime: And, but I think that Jack and Drew, they were kind of excited about what we were doing, but actually, you know, we weren't sure what the network would say or what the advertisers might think, and so, um, you know, I’m really proud of the work that we were able to, to say-

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: You know, being the first in some ways.

Jo: It’s interesting, you know, like Jaime texted me, she sent me this video and I was looking at it and I was just so proud-

Jaime: I sent you Mal’s video, I sent you one of Mal’s other videos.

Jo: She’s wonderful, so like shoutout to her!

Jaime: Yeah

Jo: That’s, yeah, it was gorgeous, and I was really proud of the work, you know, after, it’s, you create these things in a bubble and, I haven’t se- I haven’t seen Warehouse, I never watched it. [laughs] so I’m always very surprised to see these videos, it feels like I’m cracking open-

Jaime: And I want to say as well, you know, when we say we haven’t down and watched all the shows, or you know, in some peoples’ cases, many of the shows, you know, it’s, it’s not because we don’t love the show and we don't love the work that everyone else has done, done, it’s actually a lot of actors don't watch, um, their own work. It’s, if, if you’ve ever heard your own voice on an answer phone or something and you're like, who’s that? Oh my god, that’s me!

Dana: [laughs]

Jaime: Like, so when you see yourself on TV or screen it’s like that on crack, it’s absolutely terrifying, and, and you’re like oh my god, like behind a pillow, like-

Jo: Filled with self loathing and despair. [laughs]

Jaime: Yes.

Dana: That’s okay.

Jaime: Which is a work in progress, I’m trying to deal with that now.

Dana: Well, when, at what point did you realize that queer people were actually starting to flock to the show to support this direction with these characters?

Jaime: We, we didn't know, we didn’t know-

Dana: No?

Jaime: Well, we, um, I, um, Jo’s not on social media so I don’t know when she knew, other than maybe when I told her. I saw replies on twitter-

Jo: Comic Con.

Dana: Somebody didn’t like hire a plane and like, around the area with like, a Bering and Wells forever…?

Jo: I, I remember, I remember going to Comic Con, for me because that’s’ when I had the fan interaction, um, because I wasn’t on Twitter-

Jaime: Yeah, there were fans that told us.

Jo: And, and, uh, a lot of the women, I remember being asked some very specific questions during panels, and, you know, there's a lot of guys who like to talk at those panel so I didn’t get to talk a lot but I made it quite, I, I made it quite clear about how important that storyline was to me and it, it, I realized very quickly that it was important to a lot more women than me. I didn’t really realize, too, that storytelling wasn’t represented in that way, at that point, you know. I didn’t feel that. I didn’t feel like that was a groundbreaking choice, to choose to be attracted to a woman in a scene to me is life, it’s how I live my life, I, I’m you know, I don’t have those, I’m not in a box [laughs] and it so when I realized, it was a eye-opening moment. I’m like, I’m like, wait, wait, this is, this is something new that’s not being done?

Dana: You guys were kind of on, you were like right here [miming going up a hill or mountain] and then shortly after Warehouse, it started going like [woosh noise of going down the other side of the hill] and this wave of representation started happening.

Jaime: Well, ev- even in Warehouse, there was an openly gay character in, in Warehouse.

Dana: Right, yes!

Jo: Yeah, yeah, there was Aaron.

Jaime: But it’s been, it’s been incredibly, um, powerful for, for, for, for me, um, you know, I I, think that a lot of people, some people are like oh my god, you know, I wish I could go back to my childhood or my teenage years, I, you could not pay me anything for, I would not go back to my teenage years for love or money. It was, it was a incredibly painful time for me, um, and not a particularly happy time for me, and, um, you know, just awkwardness, you know, all the stuff that, you know, all the stuff people feel in their teens, all the bad stuff I felt in my teens, so when I’ve spoken to people at conventions, um, and they've’ spoken to me about, um, Warehouse having, and our relationship in Warehouse having a positive effect for them in their teen, in their painful teenage years, it’s, it, it, it can bring me to tears, because i- if I could have imagined having kind of that, some kind of impact when I’d been a teenager maybe I wouldn't have been so miserable, but, um, I’m really humbled by it. it’s really lovely.

Dana: Yeah, you, you most certainly have had a tremendous impact on a lot of peoples’ lives and I’m so glad that you are able to take that and keep it in your heart.

Jaime: Yeah.

Dana: Speaking of this kind of sea change of the last few years, do you think that if Warehouse had been airing now that things might have ended differently? Do you think that maybe that subtext really would have been pulled much more into main text?

Jaime: You’d know better, Jo.

Jo: I...don’t know the answer to that question, um, perhaps, actually, absolutely! It’s twenty twenty-

Jaime: If we were writing it, maybe.

Jo: I mean, that’s what I’m trying to do. [laughs] Um, yeah, I think so. Maybe we would have been able to lean more into that storyline, um-

Jaime: Maybe we would’ve had a, be a stronger voice in shaping the narrative there.

Jo: It, yeah, I mean, Jack was, Jack was great about it, but it, it was a different, it was a different era. I think now is, is really a beautiful time for storytelling in the sense that it is really becoming so much more inclusive and we have representation, which, I mean, seeing ourselves represented in stories is how we understand ourselves in the world, and that’s, it’s so important, you know, it’s so important where we’re going, um, and I wish there could have been more of that in Warehouse, but I’m glad there was what there was.

Dana: Yeah.

Jaime: I, I, I also think that, um, you know, it’s changed so much in just such a short space of time, but particularly in the last couple of years, like, women were always, um, portrayed like, like, women always had to be perfect and kind of cute, and, you know, there had to be kind of something attractive or charming about them at all times, you know, and so we always had to put a bow on a woman to make her acceptable. And one of the things that I’m really loving is, you know, that women can be flawed and they can still, you can still love them and, you know, one of the things that always stun- stunned me is that I’ve been so welcomed into a community of kind, inclusive, um, you know, powerful activist, um, women, uh, um, and I’m like, why do these amazing women even like my characters when I’ve played such, um, a bad character, and it’s like-

Dana: But, but we love that! Queer women love a villain!

Jaime: Well, it’s like, flawed characters, and it’s like, and then recently I watched this show called, um, I hate Suzie Pickles [actual title of show: I Hate Suzie], um, there’s a show called, um, uh, I May Destroy You. They’re British shows, actually, both are.

Dana: Oh, yeah, it’s so good.

Jaime: And they, these are complex, um, women who make bad choices, and they self sabotage and they do things that are kind of frowned upon in society, and yet I love them, these women, and it’s like, if I can love these women for all their flaws, then maybe I'm okay too. And I think that we, we have to allow women to be flawed and lovable instead of just being cute little heroines that kind of support men at all times. I mean, it’s changed so much, that’s kind of, like the old, the old order of what it used to be, like, but yeah, it’s exciting.

Dana: That happe- That was what was written in my yearbook! Just, Dana Piccoli, flawed but lovable.

Jaime: Ah! [laughs]

Dana: So I totally, I totally can appreciate that.

Jaime: Was it that? Was it- that would be the best!

Dana: [laughs] I love that.

Jaime: Flawed and lovable, not but.

Dana: Oh yeah, yes, flawed and lovable, sorry, sorry. That’s, that’s what, that’s where I went wrong in the yearbook.

Jaime: Exactly.

Dana: Uh, J- Jaime. A lot has been made of this, the apples scene.

Jaime: Yes.

Dana: Do you think I smell apples is basically saying “I love you”? Were you, what do you think that Helena was trying to express at that time?

Jaime: I, I, I think that it was, um, a sense of, uh, acceptance, and, um, and, and, and, and, and love, I mean, uh, because Helena had always been such a, kind of a troubled character in so many ways and she had kind of, um, these struggles and this darkness and these mental health issues and I think that “I smell apples” was a, a, a wa- wa- was, she, she’d kind of come to the light, you know, she, she had, had kind of accepted herself, and it was such an altruistic act of love, she was sacrificing herself in order to save the others, that it was true love, like she’d overcome the darkness. So it was, uh, I, I, I, I, love that, uh, moment, yeah, that kind of-

Jo: I know we wanted, uh, one of the most beautiful definitions of love onscreen is recognition of your soul in someone else.

Dana: Mhmm.

Jo: That’s really what happens, and I thought that when Jaime did that, there was a very beautiful, I mean it’s sort of like Romeo and Juliet. You see this moment of, and we talked about it earlier, that energy, that to me is that. what that is-

Jaime: Yes.

Jo: -the scene is, “I smell apples.” It’s these two people who see each other in each other and are profoundly connected, whether, in whatever way that it is, it’s just a profound connection, you know, and so often we find boxes to put these connections in, you know, as humans, we want to make sense, we want to make logic of them, you know, which is, I think, um, why storytelling suffers in the representation, because you want to define what a thing is and kind of, um, the most beautiful things about some of the most special relationships is they, they're beyond what you can say they are, they’re beyond categorization, they are, you know...

Jaime: I, I, I definitely think that, although it wasn’t written in that way, I mean, if you actually go back and look at the footage, I’m saying “I love you” to, uh, uh, HG is saying “I love you” to Myka and Myka is is let-

Jo: I only think that’s what she was saying.

Jaime: -letting, letting it land.

Dana: Confirmation, folks! Confirmation, um, everyone!

Jo: In here. [points to head]

Dana: Write it in your vows, write it now in your vows!

Jo: Dana, you’re funny! [laughs]

Dana: Thank you!

Jaime: But wh- when, when did I come back and I was like, married to, what-

Dana: You, you weren't married, you were with a gentleman, and he had a, a young child and-

Jaime: And he was a bit of a drip as well!

Jo: And the house was very suburban, that’s all I remember was, I like walked into this house and I was like-

Jaime: That was, was that, I don’t really know the chronological, um, ordering, but like, I had like a ponytail, and I had a, possibly-

Jo: You were probably like driving a minivan.

Dana: You were teaching, you were teaching, weren’t you?

Jaime: Cause wasn’t I [indecipherable]

Jo: It’s okay, Jaime, I [indecipherable]

Dana: You were like in Phoenix or something.

Jaime: Yeah so, so what was that, after a bit I, so like “I smell apples” was the ending of my character, right? So like that, was that after a bit-

Dana: Right, and then you got rev- you were brought back-

Jaime: Right.

Dana: And then you kind of disappeared for a bit.

Jaime: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dana: Yes. Yeah, um-

Jaime: Yeah.

Dana: The, um, the, the, uh, the fans [laughs] were, um, confused by that, were like what?

Jaime: I d- I’m confused, I’m confused! [laughs]

Jo: Not just the fans, not just the fans.

Jaime: Well, I actually, um, I, I, I really want to go back and see that scene, um, I, I feel like you came to, I don’t, I was living in like suburbia-

Dana: Mhm.

Jaime: And, and didn’t you come to-

Jo: I don't remember.

Jaime: -the house and I, I think you came to-

Jo: I remember that horrible house though, because it was like, it… [makes disgusted face]

Jaime: It was so weird and I was like hello, I’m kind of like a completely different woman!

Jo: It was like very Stepford, I like, I walked in and, I don’t know why Myka was so accepting, I would’ve taken a baseball bat to the house, gonna be like, we’re leaving!

Jaime: So, so, so, so, I, so I, Jack, so Jack, Jack-

Jo: Get out of here, you drank the Kool Aid!

Jaime: I remember Jack was there and I was like, um, uh, oh, like this, like, like this doesn't work because of this and this doesn’t work because of that, and I was having a little, kind of like a creative difference with him, and, and he left for the day, he left for the day, and I really want to go back and see that s- that, that scene, because I remember I was asking him if I could, yeah, I know it’s, it says this but could I play it like this? And I do- I remember he didn’t want me to for the storyline, but I remember he left. [laughs] So I’d love to go back and see, I, I remember think- feeling like I was quite naughty, that I actually got away with it, but, uh-

Dana: Oh, I am loving all the subversive shit that was happening behind the scenes. [laughs]

Jaime: Yeah. [laughs]

Jo: Do you remember the park bench as well? Remember that scene, it was-

Jaime: Oh, yeah, a bench.

Jo: Wasn’t that a bench?

Jaime: Oh, that was a love scene, that was a love scene.

Jo: That was a, yeah, we really went for that one. [all laugh]

Jo: Everyone was like, what? And I’m like, well, we’re doing it. Might as well!

Jaime: [laughs] And we’re in like, Toronto, and everyone behind the camera, like, they’re very blokey, and it’s not in the script, and then they're like, “oh I didn’t, they’re, they’re, oh I didn’t see that coming!” [laughs]

Jo: They were like, what are you guys doing? We’re like, we’ll figure it out! [laughing]

Jaime: Exactly! We’re just doing our own thing. [laughs]

Dana: Oh, a little, a little mutiny, a little bit! [laughs] Well we, we, we’ve ha- we’ve had such incredible conversation so far, and I have so many fan questions for you, and if we were onstage everyone would get to come up to the mic-

Jaime: Aw.

Dana: -and ask you questions, but I do have a bunch of questions that were sent in, um, so I do want to get to your fans, because your fans are so integral to keeping this like-

Jo: That’s why we’re here.

Dana: -story alive. Uh, let’s see here. Let’s kick it off. Alright, so wellsbering wants to know, what personality traits do you share with your characters?

Jaime: Well I think, I think that, um, I, uh, definitely always get cast as the baddie for whatever reason, but then I think that, um, really the quirky mess that I, I, I morphed into is basically me. [all laugh]

Jo: I like that answer, that’s great. Um, I, uh, am very A-type when it comes to certain things, and Myka very much, I’m very like, flowy, Myka wa- didn’t flow, but there are certain parts of my life where I’m not flowy around. My work is one of them, writing is another one. Um, and I’m very afraid of letting people down. I think that’s why I've been, I was te- telling a lot of the people that I was talking to today that, you know, the reason I didn’t do this a lot when the show was on, I couldn’t understa- i was like, why do people wanna meet me? They're gonna meet me and be disappointed.

Dana: Ohhhh.

Jo: Yeah.

Dana: I think everyone thinks that though, I think that’s very common.

Jo: I think tha- yeah, I think that’s the human condition, right?

Dana: Yes.

Jo: Um, but, but I think Myka and I share that sort of reserve, you know, that thing where you’re like I don’t, no, don’t get too close. I’m like a Monet, stay back. [laughs]

Jaime: And I, I think that was part of the chemistry as well, it’s like, you have that kind of like, you know, protectio- protective-

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: -kind of like, edge. And so it’s like, if, I think that i- in a way, the gift that we had by it not being written for us is, if had been written we would’ve, the characters would’ve made each other, um, accessible to each other far too quickly. It was like the slow burn of, Myka could be quite prickly, and my character was completely messed up so it was kind of like, this kind of like energy between them where they were kind of like, you know, like working each other out, feeling each other out-

Jo: Is there? Is there an energy there?

Jaime: And then the laughs were well earned, and the smiles, and the deciding to work together was well earned. There was a, a lot of suspicion around each other, and when they opened up or they kind of let their guard down, it was hard earned, and and it was like, you know, something you would wanna rejoice at.

Jo: Yeah, aw, I love that.

Dana: Um, okay, so this is from mayberrycosplay, uh, you may remember mayberrycosplay, I believe one of them dressed as HG at a con, uh-

Jaime: Oh!

Dana: -but they wondered-

Jaime: I’ve seen a few HGs.

Dana: You’ve seen a few HGs.

Jaime: [laughs]

Dana: This is for Jo about, uh, Myka’s experience with ovarian cancer and, uh, like, how the awareness of this silent killer of women, like how that storyline, what that storyline meant to you and how it felt to portray that?

Jo: I was really nervous about that storyline, you know, anything that has affected people and their families and, and it’s always, I, you know, difficult territory to walk as an actor, especially in a show like Warehouse where there's so much happening on such a grand level that I’m like, are they going to pay attention to this? Are they going to really honor a storyline like this? was my concern, you know, like very often things like that are added like, uh, it’s like putting a robot arm on a story, and you're like oh, and by the way, there’s ovarian cancer! And so I was really, you know, concerned about showing up for that and, and, and and serving it in a way that people understood and, and could identify with that, you know, it’s such a catharsis, that’s what I think it’s supposed to be. Um, so it was, uh, I, the fans told me I pulled it off, that’s the only way that I know.

Dana: Well it meant a tremendous amount to, to mayberrycosplay and so that’s why they, they sent that in because it, it really affected them because of their own personal-

Jo: Yeah.

Dana: -you know, family journeys and such.

Jo: Well I’m so, so, thank you, I mean, I’m still wondering, you know, I worked really hard to make sure that was in there. We’ve all lost somebody to cancer, we all know what that’s like, we all know- I mean, I mean, I certainly have, to feel a lump and be like [does the Home Alone face] you know. I have two friends right now who are going through it, so I try to honor it in the best way. I- it’s one of the things that makes me want to be an actor, uh, that I think is so special about it is that you get to tell stories that people, it’s a group catharsis, you know, so I’m glad that, glad they think I, the only thing that, if they think I sh- I showed up then... [laughs] yes, good, good, good.

Dana: Um, let’s see here, cloxy813 wants to know what was your favorite, favorite scene to film together?

Jo: Probably the heaving bosoms scene. I was excited for the heaving bosoms scene, which was all like [mimes placing gun to forehead] kill me!

Jaime: [laughs]

Dana: Hashtag heaving bosoms scene.

Jo: It was so hot that day, I remember my tank top-

Jaime: So hot, oh my god, it was like-

Jo: It was like, my tank top, I would like look down and find, I was like, my boobs are out, um. [laughs] I just saw him sign, them sign, um.

Jaime: We were by that lake, I just wanted to dive in there. It was-

Jo: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I loved, I loved, I loved doing that scene, I have to say. And, and the chess scene, I remember that.

Jaime: Oh yeah.

Jo: I remember that very well. Um, I really enjoyed my work with Jaime because I, as I said, you know, there’s not a lot of scenes that are two women just being women. It was so, it was like a breath of fresh air and so I, I wasn't, I was, uh, you know, a lot of the times Myka was there to witness Pete-

Jaime: Or, or, or to laugh, or to kind of laugh and sigh at his super funny jokes.

Jo: The funny jokes... um, so, so it was so nice to not ha- be in a scene from that point of view. So often women are are written as accessories-

Jaime: Yeah.

Jo: You know, and, and this was a storyline where I felt like she was a whole person and I could be like a whole, real person, I didn't have to be like-

Jaime: I, I, I, I, I was on a show called Hustle and there was a character on it called Danny Blue, and he had all the funny lines, and one of the refrains that I had was “oh Danny. Oh Danny,” where every time he said something cheeky or naughty or a joke I’d go “oh Danny,” and I remember just being so excited to get the job, but then after awhile like me saying “oh Danny” really wore thin, especially as off camera I feel like I was more witty! [laughs] In that space I was much more funny, but all the funny was written for him, and I was going “oh Danny.” So when I came in I really, I kind of, um, you know, I knew the frustration of playing the, kind of, you, you know-

Jo: Straight man.

Dana: The “oh Danny.”

Jo: -if you were playing, right, right, the brainiac, uptight brainiac, and Pete had all the funny lines, so obviously we were in a lot of scenes with the rest of the cast and keeping the story going, but I felt as though all the character stuff that we had as, as women came from the scenes when we were on our own, and obviously that first scene with the grappler, um, you know, was, it was kind of the first scene where I’d been playing kind of like a little, kind of kind of like sneaky little looks and curiosity and fascination with this woman-

Dana: Yeah, we noticed.

Jaime: And, but, but, I, but, it wasn’t until the grappler scene that I thought that, that i was starting to get this, kind of, this chemistry going, and then there was a scene, do you remember the scene where I didn’t know how to work a computer or open it, it was like a, I was like a monkey-

Jo: Yeah [laughs] yeah.

Jaime: I was like a, it was like, I didn’t know what this is, we were-

Dana: Well, I mean in, in f- in fairness you had been in bronze for a long time.

Jaime: -we were in like a stu- a student room, a student's room, it was-

Jo: Yeah, we were at the college, we were at U of T.

Jaime: And, and. and we’d, it was the first time we’d deci- you’d, you’d kind of begrudgingly decided that we could work together, and HG was kind of a little thrilled, and you were a bit begrudging and-

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: There was all, we, we still had to, ‘cause like, in sci-fi there’s a lot of storyline and exposition and kind of fantastical stuff, which is super fun, but actually as actors you really get excited about the character stuff and there was always just this great character stuff whenever we were on our own with a scene-

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: -um, because we didn’t have to worry so much about servicing all the other characters, we just serviced each other.

Dana: Well, you know, there are only two kinds of queer women. It is thrilling or begrudging, it’s one or the other. [all laugh]

Dana: They fit perfectly in there.

Jaime: I mean maybe that’s why it resonated so well, and maybe it was the reason it was so great, that it wasn’t written, because you had these two kind of like, kind of sli- slightly spiky kind of like flawed women, kind of like o- one, you know, one not particularly into the other at all, you know, so-

Jo: It was interesting, I still remember, I still remember receiving that energy and receiving that stuff and realizing, sort of plotting, cause I’m like, how long would it take Myka to figure this out?

Jaime: [laughs]

Jo: Seriously, I was like, cause, Joanne is not her,, I’m, you know, I’m wasn’t in the box that she, I always thought, Jack’s like, you’re exactly like that character, I’m nothing, I’m not- [laughs] I mean there’s a part of me that’s uptight but there's a part of me that’s most definitely not, so I was like how, and I really wanted to do the discovery of it within her, the like, this, the, this feeling started, and then her sort of, and M-Myka to me as a character as a whole was always somebody who was afraid, this is somebody who was always very scared of everything and presented themselves in this very [mimes acting stuffy and uptight] way because there was so much going on here [gestures to heart] and it was slow in the five seasons, I really wanted her to like, you know, relax and start laughing and not be so, and I was like, there’s a certain amount of wonder that was like-

Jaime: Endless wonder.

Jo: -ohhhh, ohhhhh, ohhhh, like you kind of see her, one of the things about that journey is you start to see her discover sort of herself and her own feeling surrounding that, which I thought was really special.

Jaime: And also you, um, you, you kind of ended up, you, you know, HG was kind of like a tricky character and she was always one step ahead, um for, that first season, but then when she started to fall apart, you were the one that kind of put her together, and then I felt like there was also this humor introduced, this lightness introduced to your character through the humor el- elements-

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: -and the surprise, which was, um, really lovely for your character.

Jo: Yeah, I, I think for m- for me, you know, it was a decision I made like in season two that I k- she had to evolve and grow and sort of, um, I couldn’t, I was, I was, I was like, I can’t keep coming to work and putting a giant stick up my ass [laughs] like we’re doing, like I need just to like expand her and go towards her relaxing and really finding, I think for her the big thing was always finding connection, you know, this-

Dana: Sure.

Jo: -we, we see in the beginning of the show is, it’s very cut off, very isolated, very like, and I, she lost her partner, that was, when I read that script, immediately I was like, this is someone who’s so scared of losing people again that she’s never gonna let anyone else in, and that was sort of like my understanding of her. And when Jaime came on, it was such a great way to explore that, Myka opening, you know, as feelings developed, her opening, you know-

Dana: Well, that, the growth, the character journey that both of your, your characters went on, I think that is what makes the show still so enduring to fans, like why they feel so connected to it, because we do, we saw that journey, you know, both of you had your own journeys to go on and you somehow managed to cross, cross paths, and it may not have ended the way fans had wanted it to, but we still go so much out of it.

Jo: I’m so glad.

Dana: I wish it was endgame, but what can I do?

Jaime: We, we, we need a spinoff show for Jo and I, we, we need a spinoff show.

Dana: Okay, yes, the spinoff, okay! You need to talk about that because-

Jaime: Who do we need to talk to to make that happen?

Dana: I got in a lot of trouble on Twitter yesterday for not asking a spinoff question, uh, what, like, what would a spinoff look like between between HG and Myka?

Jo: I think it would be have, to be now, which we-

Dana: Yeah.

Jo: And we’d have to get her, there’s no ponytails in this story, there’s no suburbs, there’s no fucking ponytails, um, no-

Jaime: I won- I won- I wonder if, um, it could be now, but, or, I wonder if I, I had to come in for a mission and then I actually pulled you back into my time, that might be an interesting way to turn it on its head.

Dana: Ooh, Jaime Murray, there we go!

Jaime: If we both had to go back-

Dana: I love me some period.

Jaime: -into my time or you know what made me think that [she does the Jaime Murray hair flip™] what I-

Jo: [laughs]

Jaime: I saw that, I saw that ne- The Nevers-

Jo: I miss that hair flip!

Jaime: -the, the, the a- the adverts for The Nevers on HBO, and I’m like that is the HG Wells spinoff right there, and I was like super fucked that I wasn’t in that, and then I read that Joss Whedon was a consultant and I was like [inaudible] really bad, so, but, anyway I think that that’s what we should do. I, I’m also obsessed with that time period.

Jo: I mean, yeah, and also like it was real, yeah-

Jaime: It was the beginning of ps-

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: -psychology, of like Tesla, of of like different thoughts, there was like, they were like spiritual, um, kind of scientists and atheism and there was all it this opportunity for change, which actually wasn’t taken, but it was actually, it’s super interesting right at the time, there was suffragettes-

Jo: Also a fish out of water for me would be so wacky, because I’m a fish out of water too, alright.

Dana: I’m curious if yo all saw the Saturday Night Live sketch the other, uh, last week with, uh, lesbian period drama-

Jaime: Oh!

Dana: -and how, how every lesbian, like anything that features lesbians now has to be- [laughs]

Jaime: Well have you e- have you ever-

Dana: -it’s like the Edwardian or, like the Edwardian times.

Jaime: Have you guys read Sarah Waters, do you know this?

Dana: Oh, of course!

Jaime: Like, so, and maybe that is actually what helped me get to HG Wells, but I loved those books when-

Dana: Oh, they’re so amazing.

Jaime: -I was growing up and I feel like we should make those o- we should remake one of those b- Jo, you’ve got to read those books, and then-

Jo: I’m writing it down! I’m taking notes!

Jaime: Oh, it’s amazing.

Dana: You two would be amazing in her most recent one.

Jaime: She writes these amazing Edwardian, Edwardian kind of wanton lust and then there’s like, like the vervain or whatever, that kind of drug that they used to take back then-

Jo: Opium?

Jaime: -so it’s like slightly, kind of like psychedelic, oh, it’s amazing, yeah, she’s amazing.

Dana: [laughs] Well, we unfortunately are out of time, and it’s been so much fun to talk to the two of you, and I, I love the love that you have for your characters, for your friendship, for the fans, uh, it’s, it’s so lovely to see, and thank you so much for making this work in your schedules, I know you’re both super busy doing your own projects, um, and I want to think Mark. Mark, you’re amazing, thank you so much for, for interpreting.

Jaime: Thank you, Mark!

Jo: Thank you, Mark!

Dana: Um, do you have anything you want to end with, to say to the, to the Bering lesbians out there?

Jaime: Well, first of all, I want to say that, um, if anyone sends me messages to, you know, pictures or anything that that Jo needs to see, I’ll make sure that Jo, Jo gets it, ‘cause she’s not on social media, and I’ll, I’ll share stuff with her so that she can kind of know the love from the community.

Dana: Yeah, great.

Jo: I think, um, I’m actually gonna try to put together a newsletter because I’m trying to get my shows made and I could use this community, you know, to help-

Dana: Oh, we will support you to the end! We will march off that cliff with you.

Jaime: I could help you make a Twitter account, just for our community.

Jo: I don’t wanna do Twitter, I wanna do a newsletter. [laughs] I don’t wanna, I don’t know how many characters are in it, but it’s not enough. [laughs]

Jaime: But Jo, Jo, you have to actually read some of the fanfiction. The fanfiction is epic.

Jo: I have a book that I got, somebody wrote a book-

Jaime: Unbelievable, oh my god.

Jo: -like a novel.

Jaime: They’re brilliant, these people are brilliant, like best fans ever.

Dana: There is some really incredible work out there.

Jaime: Well, do you want to-

Jo: I just wanted to say thank you to everyone, um, you know, I don’t do these very often, and just like, the outpouring of love, like just the connection, I really appreciate it, I’m so grateful, so thank you.

Jaime: Yeah, it’s such a beautiful community. I feel really proud to have been welcomed into it and, uh, very grateful.

Dana: Well, we’ll hope to see you another time, and thank you all who turned in to this panel. [Jaime blows kisses]

Jo: Thank you.

Jaime: Bye, guys.

Dana: Do you smell apples?

Jaime: Bye, Jo, I love you so much.

Jo: Do you smell apples? I love you too. [blows kiss] I’ll talk to you soon.

Jaime: Yes, I’ll see you later. Bye bye, darlings.

Jo: Bye.

#bering and wells #myka x hg #hg x myka #joanne kelly #jaime murray #warehouse 13 #clexacon #clexacon 2021 #myka bering #hg wells #helena wells #nerdsbians

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