#again without having to deal with there issues

[seeleybooth]

What are you doing out here? - I was... - No. In fact, do not answer that. It is clear I found you in the midst of some... secret dealings. I do not wish to know. And what "secret dealings" have I found you in the midst of, all alone the night before our wedding? What right do you have to ask me that?

/

"He tried to picture a life without Penelope. It was impossible.

Just weeks ago she'd been ... He stopped, thought. What had she been? A friend? An acquaintance? Someone he saw and never really noticed?

And now she was his fiancee, soon to be his bride. And maybe... maybe she was something more than that. Something deeper. Something even more precious.

"What I want to know," he asked, deliberately forcing the conversation back on topic so his mind wouldn't wander down such dangerous roads, "is why you're not jumping on the pet-fect alibi if the point is to remain anonymous."

"Because remaining anonymous isn't the point!" she fairy yelled.

"You want to be found out?" he asked, gaping at her in the candlelight.

"No, of course not," she replied. "But this is my work.

This is my life's work. This is all I have to show for my life, and if I can't take the credit for it, I'll be damned if someone else will."

Colin opened his mouth to offer a retort, but to his surprise, he had nothing to say. Life's work. Penelope had a life's work.

He did not.

She might not be able to put her name on her work, but when she was alone in her room, she could look at her back issues, and point to them, and say to herself, This is it. This is what my life has been about.

"Colin?" she whispered, clearly startled by his silence.

She was amazing. He didn't know how he hadn't realized it before, when he'd already known that she was smart and lovely and witty and resourceful. But all those adjectives, and a whole host more he hadn't yet thought of, did not add up to the true measure of her.

And he was.... Dear God above, he was jealous of her.

"I'll go," she said softly, turning and walking towards the door.

For a moment he didn't react. His mind was still frozen, reeling with revelations. But when. When he saw her hand on the doorknob, he knew he could not let her go. Not this night, not ever.

"No," he said hoarsely, closing the distance between them in three long strides. "No," he said again, "I want you to stay."

She looked up at him, her eyes two pools of confusion. "but you said---"

He cupped her face tenderly with his hands. "Forget what I said."

And that was when he realized that Daphne had been right. His love hadn't been a thunderbolt from the sky. It had started with a smile, a word, a teasing glance. Every second he had spent in her presence it had grown, until he'd reached this moment, and he suddenly knew.

He loved her.

He was still furious with her for publishing that last column, and he was bloody ashamed of himself that he was actually jealous of her for having found a life's work and purpose, but even with all that, he loved her.

And if let her walk out that door right now, he would never forgive himself.

Maybe this, then, was the definition of love. When you wanted someone, needed her, adored her, even when you were utterly furious and quite ready to tie her to the bed just to keep her from going out and making more trouble. This was the night. This was the moment. He was brimming with emotion, and he had to tell her. He had to show her.

"Stay," we whispered, and he pulled her to him, roughly, hungrily, without apology or explanation.

"Stay," he said again, leading her to his bed.

And when she didn't do anything, he said it for a third time.

"Stay." She nodded.

He took her into his arms.

This was Penelope, and this was love."

Romancing Mister Bridgerton, Chapter 17

[sreegs]

gonna start this post upfront by saying tumblr's fuckin up bad with moderation right now, regarding the wave of trans people being targeted. but i'm not here to discuss that issue, i'm going to talk about the nature of large and small social spaces on the internet

as this post rightly points out, examining our existing social network structure reveals the crux of the problem: we are tenants on someone else's service. extrapolating from that, we're the source of revenue for someone's business. under that model, there is no incentive whatsoever for a social network to apply a "fair" or "just" moderation scheme. their goal is to maximize the number of people using the service and minimize blowback from advertisers regarding "what goes on" on the site

there will not be an alternative social network that gets this right at scale, unless it meets the following criteria:

1. Has ample moderators to thoughtfully deal with user moderation cases

2. Has terms of service that you agree with

3. Has a moderation team that understands how to apply moderation according to the terms of service, and amends it when necessary

4. Does not rely on external income source to pay for the site

Number 1: An ideal social network is one that has numerous, well-treated moderators who are adept at resolving conflict. Under capitalism, this is a non-starter, as moderation is seen as a money sink that just needs to be barely enough to make the site usable.

Number 2: An ideal social network has terms of service you agree with. Unfortunately there's no set of rules everyone will find fair. While this is not a problem for the people who want to use the site, it will inevitably create an outgroup who are pushed away from the site. The obvious bad actors (nazis, terfs, etc) are pretty straightforward, but there are groups that do things you might find "unpleasant" even if you support their right to do it. Inevitably this turns into lines drawn in the sand about how visible should that content be.

Number 3: An ideal social network has moderators who have internalized the terms of service and consistently make decisions based on the TOS. If a situation comes up where there's no clear ruling in the TOS, but users need a moderation decision regarding it, the moderation team must choose how to act and then, potentially, amend the TOS if the case warrants it. Humans, though, are not robots, and no, AI is not the solution here jesus christ. There will always be variance in moderation decisions. And when it comes to amending the TOS, who's the decision maker? The sites' owners? The moderation team? Users as a whole?

Number 4: An ideal social network does not rely on an external income source to pay for the site. The site pays for itself, and its income flow covers the costs necessary with reserves for unexpected situations. Again, under capitalism this is a no-go, because a corporate social network's only goal is to maximize money. Infinite growth, not stasis. A private social network paid by members requires enough paying members to be sustainable, and costs will generally go up over time, not down. A social network that has some lump sum of cash just generating wealth is also unreliable because, first you need a large lump sum to begin with, and that mechanism is tied to the whims of the investment market. And, again, costs of the site will go up, not down.

As you've read through these you're probably reaching the conclusion: making a large-scale social network that is fair and sustainable is very, very difficult, if not impossible with our current culture and economic systems. There might be a scale where you can reach "almost fair" and "barely sustainable", but then you have to cap its growth.

So the "town square" social network is rife with problems and we need to abandon it's model as the ideal network. Should we go small instead? We have a model already for that with message boards and forums. Though they weren't without their problems, they didn't have the scale that exacerbated those problems to crisis levels. Most of the time.

If you're thinking maybe you need a small network like this, free from a corporate owner (like Discord), the tools are out there for you to accomplish it. However, before you try, keep the above points in mind. Even if you're not out to create a large-scale social network, an open network will run away from you. And all of those points above are guidelines for a good online community.

You and your network of 50 friends and friends of friends might all get along together, but every single person you add increases the risk of creating moderation problems. People also change, or simply have episodes of irrational behavior. You need a dedicated team of moderators who are acting coherently for and agreeably to the community.

And you absolutely must keep this in mind: inevitably, as you add more people, someone will do vile shit. CSAM and violence type shit. You have to be prepared to encounter it. You have to have a plan to see and handle that, and the moderators who are part of your moderation team must be prepared to see and handle it too.

There's been a steady trickle of new alternative social networks (or social media networks) popping up, but you cannot expect those to be perfect havens. Tumblr was once the haven for weirdos on the internet. Now it's hostile to its core members. This is not trying to rationalize staying here because "hey, it could be worse". This is just trying to warn you to temper your expectations, especially because new networks that suddenly get a huge influx of new members hit a critical point where many falter, change, or fail.

Examine who's running those networks closely. Think critically about what they're touting as the benefits of those networks. And if you decide to join them, do not, under any case, expect those new homes to be permanent.

[slyvester101]

I know this is another ask so soon lol but how do you think Wash's and Tucker's relationship would go if Tucker was in season 6? Tbh I already have my own interpretation that they are instant enemies, Wash's worst nightmare and it took the personification of a aqua sim trooper. Their stubbornness knows no bounds and it's worst when they met before having their character development. Someone has to hold Tucker back before he gets murdered by a trigger happy freelancer for not shutting tfu.

Ask away my fine fellow

I think if Tucker was with the reds and blues during season 6, there’d be a lot more roasting of Agent Washington. Church and Tucker bounce off of each other, sending rib after rib to anyone in the area, including the other. Which means that Wash has to deal with twice the amount of insults and bickering. It is easier to manage Caboose since Tucker was the one to keep an eye on him when Church left Blood Gulch first (because Church always leaves first) and he is much better at keeping Caboose on track than Church. 

While I do think Agent Washington dislikes Tucker when they meet, he also recognizes how smart and resourceful the guy is and sees the potential he has and how much he's holding back in order to be underestimated. It makes him wary. Additionally, I think Tucker’s flirting and care-free attitude reminds him a lot of York, so he has to deal with that while also trying to command a guy who reminds him of his dead friend. He tries to stay away from Tucker as much as possible. (It does not work, they fight all the damn time)

(They both consider murder many times)

Tucker is definitely more wary of Agent Washington as well and questions everything he commands and undermines his authority all the time. So basically Tucker being Tucker. Tucker would also be more grumpy about being on this mission since it took him away from his son (if Tucker was to join without completely breaking the timeline, I think it would make more sense for him to go to the desert temple after the whole epsilon and Meta showdown). He would also hold a personal vendetta against Wash since he would be there when Church dies and make that link to his best friend dying to Agent Washington, which means when they meet again, Tucker is down and ready to rip this guy apart.

All this would make Wash’s eventual addition to the team a bit more strained and awkward. Tucker is even more petty and even downright mean to Wash because of everything that happened and takes much longer to warm up to him. Wash takes it with the same amount of grace as always, trying to be diplomatic about it and be a good teammate (I don’t think Tucker would be as willing to call Wash “team leader” after everything that happened, so they decide to be something like co-leaders since Tucker is the highest-ranking soldier and a pretty good fighter in his own right and Wash has the most experience). 

They’re basically begrudging parents to Caboose by the time Carolina shows up. They bicker like an old married couple worthy of competing against Grimmons. (Tucker shows he’s finally warming up to him when he stops calling Wash various names like “agent fuckface” “agent friend killer” “agent team wiper” and starts calling him “Wash”)

While they go planet hopping with Carolina, Tucker learns about Wash and his time with freelancer and he realizes how absolutely fucked up he is (he knew he had issues, but holy shit). He’s a bit more willing to work with Wash, and to some extent Carolina, near the end and after their mission to kill the director. (That whole scene where Wash choses to protect Tucker from Carolina, choses blue team over freelancer, is the day Tucker finally accepts Wash as his friend.)

By the time they crash on Chorus, I think Tucker and Wash have really mellowed their relationship and have learned to rely on each other. They’re the dynamic duo, the one-two punch that leaves you reeling, a scary ass pair for anyone they face. Even after Church leaves again, Tucker and Wash don’t have that power dynamic of “anxious ex-specops authority figure” and “angsty asshole who hates following orders” since they’ve spent a lot of time learning how to work together as blue team leaders. Tucker is still angsty and Wash is still paranoid, but it’s more of a partnership than the mentorship we see Wash having with Tucker in the og show.

I think it makes their separation on Chorus even more heartbreaking for the both of them since they’ve gotten so close. They haven’t trusted someone like this in a long time, someone who’s so good at reading them and knowing when to give encouragement but also not afraid to call out your bullshit. It also makes their reunion so fucking awesome because they can finally let down their guard a little and trust someone else to pick up some of the load. 

I don’t know how it would change the course of the rest of the show since I’ve only watched up to season 12, but I think at that point it’s basically the same as it would be in the show.

[eri-pl]

How are orcs made?

(...also, a bit about Maeglin) Elaborate HC, long post.

TW: discusses breeding of orcs (no descriptive language etc, but implied sexual violence. Also, mentions / implications of torture, child abuse, and domestic violence. Probably something I forgot... generally: it's about orcs. Canon-Typical Level Of Disturbing

I was watching more lectures about Tolkien's later writings, and another discussion of orcs got me thinking: what if it's not one answer, but many? This would solve some problems, paradoxically.

So, I propose

1st gen orcs are indeed corrupted elves (or also men, both can work). The physical corruption (including the hroa being not fit for the fea, which in mundane terms, includes many neurological imbalances leading to mental issues) is partially hereditary.

It is there but it weakened with each generation.

They do have souls, of course, and their kids (orc+orc kids, orc+ elf kids, orc+human kids) have souls, because that's how having kids works. Souls aren't initially corrupted, because Melkor can't make it so, but the physical problems + traumatic upbringing (violence both from family and by a Dark Lord) make it hard for those souls to be good.

This makes them insubordinate and rebelious, but smart. (here we can have rebellious orcs)

However, if such kids are not "worked on" (ie additionally corrupted in the same way as orc-making process, they just need less amount of it), with a few generations they revert basically to Elves, physically and behaviorally. I'm sure it had happened many times in history, whenever the forces of evil lost control over some area and orc tribes were left unsupervised.

However, working on may be (and likely was) imposed on their culture, so that even without external supervision they would keep orkish for more generations than they would without it. Unless something disrupts the mechanism.

What life spans do they have? OK, that's a hard question. I would say that there is a threshold of corruption, and more corrupted elf-orcs have long but finite lives

What's with their souls? Mandos, some are locked indefinitely due to Namo not being able to fix them, as per Tolkien's notes. Some get better.

Also, as with normal elves, any human ancestry => the base type is human.

Maeglin (and also Eol). We know Eol was Thingol's family. I propose: one of his parents was someone close to Thingol, the other was a descentent of orcs, but at this point elvish enough for them to legit fall in love (yes, let's make it not-that-traumatic). still, there was probably violence in the family, and Eol had some genetic traits that made it harder for him to make good life choices. (Also, generational trauma of hiding from being recaptured => his isolationist tendencies)

But why do I focus on Maeglin?

Maeglin gets captured. He isn't tortured. He is simply informed what he is. What his ancestors were. What he can again become.

He is given a choice: share the location of Gondolin willingly, and get some instruction on how to better side and soothen your physiological issues, then go home. Or not share it and become as your ancestors were. And then you will share it anyway.

Still I don't consider him a good guy but in this scenario he's less guilty of all his BS (and so is Eol) and the location-of-Gondolin business is outright understandable (lack of estel, sure, but who doesn't lack it? even the Valar have issues here.). Also, after the betrayal he had a lot of time and he could and should at least run away from the city leaving a letter about what he did. They would evacuate.

Anyway back to orcs.

Another type of further-generation orcs: the soulless. I'm not sure whether some kind of magical cloning, or something more nasty, but the result is beast-like orcs. No soul, no free will. Stupid. Ape-like but there are some fixes to this:

Necromancy. When you have a functional, but soulless body, some unhoused spirits may want to make a deal with you. They work for you, they get to experience having a body again.

And some spirits are to weak to protest.

Still may be rebelious, but smart and probably more powerful. Possibly cannot reproduce?

Magic AI So when Tolkien wrote the Silm, an idea of "automaton" was something primitive and not talking, so he at times had a problem with "orcs are constructs but can talk". But. Today we know how much talking can be done without a soul.

So basically, there's a magic AI imbed in each orc, probably all from one template (or a couple templates), because dark lords aren't very creative.

Still not very smart orcs, also probably need more power expenditure to create than other types. May breed among themselves (and with souled creatures) resulting in more of them, but each young still needs the AI put in. Maybe the AI-inserting process can be automated with an artifact (loaded with an amount of power to last for some time) and the orcs may be taught to deal with their newborns themselves.

To sum up: This HC allows us to have all of

orcs have free will and can rebel

some orcs don't

being an orc is hereditary (mostly) and even without a Dark Lord, orkish tribes would remain active (for some time, but we can make it enough time for the plot to work, probably, it takes generations especially if they are taught to deal with their newborns to maintain their orkishness)

We keep to the idea that Melkor cannot make anyone hereditarily evil (Tolkien thought it important)

angsty part-orc Maeglin

evil, scary ghosts of FA elves put in orc bodies (not everyone would gogently into Mandos) (Maedhros. I mean mostly Maedhros) (but also Eol would be so ironic)

some orcs are more powerful than they look and are scary

enough of orcs seem mindless so that the good guys may (tragically) assume that they all are and are free to kill. (I need a fic in which they learn)

it is natural that after Sauron's defeat orcs would disappear, but slowly, not in one generation

It doesn't allow us to make the "killing orcs for sport" non-evil, but it allows us to make it a "they didn't know and had reasons to assume" kind of evil, ie doesn't make the protagonists of LotR evil. (just tragic but I can live with it)

[incandescentflower]

I want Wandee Goodday to be about mental health.

I've been thinking about Dee mentioning Yak's nightmares and possibly seeking help. I'm not really into Dee trying to force him with an agreement. That kind of stuff doesn't work - mental health treatment is something people choose for themselves. But lots of people take convincing. And we've already seen Dee use leverage to get Yak to take care of himself, so not so surprising that's how they brought it up.

But the conversation finally started to broach what has been missing for me - the story of their mutual losses at young ages and how that can very much impact their fundamental remaining relationships. That kind of loss can be so transformative in how a person relates in significant relationships. It can impact attachment to others, create a pathological fear of loss, increase the level of guilt people carry in their life and even impact their developmental mind set - many people get kind of stuck at certain developmental milestones if they experience trauma at young ages.

(I am saying this as someone who has been trained in cognitive-behavioral trauma therapy as a therapist, but it was quite a while ago and I'm by no means an expert. This is just generalizing. And it definitely doesn't happen to everyone. It just feels like the show might want us to think it is happening for both Dee and Yak.)

The show seems to use these facts about them as short hand for some of their behaviors and choices without doing the work to make it clear and I wish they would delve into them more. I'm worried they are not doing so for drama sake later, but that remains to be seen. It also could be that they are punching above their weight when it comes to their understanding of these issues (yes, pun intended).

This is the first time they are implying that Yak's trauma about his mother's death actually bleeds into other aspects of his life. But that connection is not clearly made. I would have found it interesting if they spent the time to draw a vivid line between Yak's loss of his mother and his fear of loss of Wandee. (as an aside, I would say that would also have helped if they solidified Yak's feelings for Dee earlier so we truly understand the intensity of them. the lack of Yak pov makes it hard to know if his feelings are strong enough to instigate this reaction)

It's also hard to draw this conclusion because Yak is the one who is more willing to react by throwing it away - his fear response seems to be to run. It looks like a "time to get out before I care too much" action with him not acknowledging he already has those feelings. And so then after he breaks it off he feels this intensity of the loss in the form of his jealous feelings about Ter - who is taking Dee away.

He seems to carry a lot of guilt about *something* having to do with his mom's death and equates disappointing Dee with disappointing his mother. But without those details, it leaves us to guess. It isn't clear that Yak is melting down here not just from losing Dee, but over triggering those feelings of loss over his mom again, and possibly the expectation that he will lose everyone.

But that would be the most compelling reason to me.

I think the same actually goes for Dee and his reactions to relationships. We've seen Dee have two trauma flashbacks without any explanation, but it's safe to assume he has his own baggage to deal with. Still, the show is unclear how much it impacts Dee's behavior. Since he has Plakao, a psychiatrist, as his friend it implies that if Dee was truly deeply struggling emotionally, we'd see Kao telling him ad nauseum to go to therapy, not telling him to just take the leap and confess to Yak.

Without Kao saying "Dee, this is more than just indecision"- it seems like the show is saying it isn't a behavior that needs professional help. But if you take it out of the way it is often played for humor, it sure seems like it to me.

If I had a friend who seemed to be struggling so hard with having feelings for someone and had so much fear of those feelings that it was making them a little miserable, and on top of that seemed to not be able to set firm boundaries with someone who had hurt them immensely, so much so that not letting go of that person was more important than how the other person treated them, you bet I'd think they should be talking to someone.

Kao is being played as the voice of reason, but he is very static right now. He's just kinda being the audience stand-in to say GAAAHHH stoppppp. But if I'd had the same conversation with a friend this many times, I'd start to ask - hey, why are you always doing this? why are you always making things complicated?? how is that serving you when you say it isn't?? That is the crux of therapy. Figuring that shit out. It feels like the show wants the character motivation without having to delve into it too seriously.

When Dee says to Yak maybe you should get some help - perhaps he should be putting on the oxygen mask first before he attempts to help anyone else.

And honestly, their mutual trauma being the reason they are having such a fucking hard time working this out would be so, so interesting to me.

I'm just not certain that is what the show wants us to think.

[cant-get-no-worse]

Your writing is always great, I need you to write something to either making us optimistic about the future of the club or to make us realize how much in deep shit we actually are please 😭

Babe, just browse through my La Liga 2022/2023 tag and mourn with me. 💕

[rxttenfish]

Now that you've answered the difficult one here's an interesting one: What about Miranda and Polly?

Shipping meme.

EXCELLENT, SOMETHING I CAN PROVIDE OPINIONS ON

this is! certainly a ship that i like a lot, but my relationship to it is a lot more fraught than some of my other miranda ships, for sure. it's one that i go back and forth on again and again, way less sure on how stable they'd be or how much this would work out in the long term.

in terms of positives - miranda and polly already get along very well! i always view the ROs as exceptionally close friends, and i think the friendship between miri and polly is much the same. polly chases experiences and good times, explores and pokes her fingers into anything she can reach just to say that she's done it, and miranda's a person who's also fundamentally curious, desperate to see and experience so many things that she's never been able to before and which come from an entirely different world to her, and so polly bringing miranda along feels natural. miranda's definitely more hesitant and less overt about experiencing things, often needing convincing or reassuring, but she wants her friends' approval and polly likes helping other people step outside of their comfort zones, especially when they just need a little encouragement.

polly loves leading other people to fun new experiences as much as she enjoys experiencing them herself, and she gets the feeling of being cool, mature, more experienced in a way with miri that fits very well with how polly is also an older sister, someone who just as much wants to be the cool older sibling that everyone can brag about. miranda, getting that positive reinforcement from polly and feeling like she's with someone she can safely experiment around and with, likewise makes her more confident in exploring new things and having new experiences, less hesitant and defensive when something new is presented to her.

the issue is that polly isn't always a good influence. polly has issues taking things seriously and this can mean she overlooks how uncomfortable miranda could be at any given moment and how much of her protests might be sincere, especially if something presents a unique danger to miranda that polly's less familiar with. polly's less confrontational, so she's less likely to call miranda out on something, at most providing smaller comments or leaving, neither or which would help miranda's reactiveness. i don't think anything polly has going on would prepare her to deal with the merkingdom and the crown, which would serve as a total blindside for her and, at worst, make her lash out at miranda in a lack of understanding for why miranda can't just not listen to the merkingdom. miranda's a character who very much needs commitment in the long term, and dedicated commitment at that, which is something that polly would have issues with and would want to shirk away from that much responsibility.

miranda, in comparison, would want to put polly up on a pedestal and imagine her as the coolest, the most fun, the best at navigating the land with all of its confusing social norms and culture and environment, and this means she would wholly miss whatever faults polly would have and be far too forgiving when it comes to polly's mistakes. at worst, miranda could very much end up believing that she deserves any hurt that polly accidentally causes, and this is an issue that doesn't have a good solution, since polly would want to avoid that confrontation and miranda would not even mention it at all, just assuming guilt and acting accordingly. neither of these characters are very good at talking about their feelings, and there's not really a catalyst to make them talk about their feelings to each other and to force them to open up.

ultimately, i see it as a fling, closer to something like friends with benefits. i often say that i see a lot of the ROs just passively dating each other at different times without making a big deal out of it, and this is one of those times. i could easily see them hooking up from time to time solely to enjoy themselves with each other, and then breaking it off with no hard feelings and going back to normal. not something long term, not something serious, just a good time dating friends.

[jinxofthecipher]

Carve My Name Into Your Skin Update~

And yet another Chapter is out! Slowly but surely getting there. Hope you all like it ❤️

Chapter Summary: Thorfinn, Bjorn, and developing tension all in one room.

[binders-and-beanies]

Pondering bottom surgery in the tags I mf guess

[shevr]

thinkin back to that post a while ago i'd tagged w/ "sorry for not being hornier" actually; like i know this stacks on top of my general issue with failing to draw more in general but sometimes i somehow feel bad or inadequate for not indulging in drawing nsfw things. never been a thing i feel like ive ever rly naturally left like doing so much

idk if that's me wishing i could feel like it, or wanting to do what the other cool artists do, or just another extension of wishing to do anything

but. monday 2am rambles, nothin serious. i can draw dicks whenever, whatever, no rush

[altruistic-meme]

dear Abram,

i hope there have been Gentle Moments between the Horrors. dont forget to take it easy, but Take It.

how has the Horrors been going, by the way? last posting i recall you were halfway to acquiring a Vehicle? how goes The Hunt?

with much love,

Milo

P.S.

thank you milo ;;;

there have been some gentle moments!! despite everything, there have been a few good moments this month :) including cat cuddles. i have gotten so much cat cuddles and boy did i need it.

the Horrors. man. i have now MOSTLY acquired my car! unfortunately there was a mix-up while at the bank which means i have to go back again tomorrow, and to the dealer as well, BUT the dealer was very VERY nice and he let me ""borrow"" the car i'm buying since he knew i was actively without a car right now. so the car is parked outside!! i get to drive it!! i have it now!! i just have to finish up with all the financing stuff :') and also with dealing with my sad little VW rip

the rest of the Horrors........ well. i've mostly only talked about my car here bc it's the only one that i can have any like actual control over and it's the only one where it's like "ok this is an issue and this is how it gets solved and all of these things are achievable" so i've been making myself put most of my focus on it since it IS the only issue this month that i CAN solve. the rest is stuff that. sigh. 2 of my family members died this month, one of which was my last living grandparent. and it sucks!! and my mom is currently halfway across the country having to deal with all of the paperwork and logistics of that more-or-less alone.

i know my job has bereavement leave, and i have been deeply considering figuring out how to use it so that i can go see my mom and give her some support. but i can't afford time without pay so i need to figure out if it's paid or not. OUGH.

but SOME good! like my new car being so fucking funny to me. it has push to start. it has android auto. it is so fancy. also it has roll-up windows. and little knobs for the side mirrors. i die. the contrast. her name is also Tails in honor of my favorite Sonic character. and she will be getting flower magnets.

and TSC coming out!! and rewatching Bungo Stray Dogs!!

and Blue! Blue is good too :)

[sidetongue]

In this story I threw a rope toy which harold got to first. Wylie decided it was highly valuable, and when he missed out, he redirected on harold and bit him out of frustration. Not hard enough to injure, but harder than a play bite, and hard enough to trigger a reaction from harold. Haz gave a BIG snarl, told him to back off, and Wylie snapped out of it. Haz then gave him a warning stare with some lip licks, reinforcing that it was not an appropriate interaction, and Wylie stood back and reflected on his actions.  side characters include Moby strategically ignoring the squabble to sneak away with the prize, budgie appearing out of nowhere to offer appeasement behaviours to Daz, Russell trying to figure out if Wylie has nipples, and Miller sitting back and watching like it’s just another friday 

[beatcroc]

oooh girl The Stress is back

[minafeu]

Hi! I’m a day or two late but I wanted to give my opinion RE: shipping Tubbo. I did my best to make sure I don’t sound mean/critical but I apologize if I do come across that way.

I think the most important thing for any sort of shipping and something that’s kind of been in place since the dawn of shipping but especially in early mcyt shipping (as someone who was there!) was to keep it AWAY from creators. If that meant using unique tags, keeping it on sites they’re not on, etc. that’s how it’s done. Not that it didn’t happen once in awhile but generally it was considered extremely rude to ask a creator’s boundaries about this sort of thing up until relatively recently, as it meant they were being forced to discuss something they may not even want to be thinking about. The blending of community and creator and so many young creators (many of whom were IN fandom spaces!) have kind of colored that a bit and made it a bit murky, but that used to be the general consensus. However, Tubbo has seemed to relax a bit about some of the shipping now that he’s an adult seeking his own relationships and not a kid, and sort of implied he scrolls past if he sees it. I’m sure a proper tubbling could provide more links of what he prefers, though.

On the age gap thing, while it CAN be a red flag, there are plenty of healthy, wonderfully functional relationships between 20 and 30 years olds. NOT TO SAY THATS ALWAYS THE CASE! There are plenty who use that age gap to leverage power over the other party. However, two consenting adults who have a lot in common or have built a trusting relationship can result in a perfectly healthy, functional relationship. I understand the caution, I really do, and that caution is good! But trust that relationships come in all shapes and sizes and are just as messy as other parts of life.

Again, just my thoughts and you’re free to disagree with my points. You’re also totally free to block the Tubbo shipping tags, and filter it from your ao3 search. I also hope I don’t sound rude or critical, and if I do I’m really sorry. Have a great day!

Thank you for your explanation and I just checked tubbos boundaries and he has expressed discomfort with shipping outside of what he has made personally canon along with not enjoying nsfw/shipping fanfiction. He hasn't expressly state that he doesn't want it to happen as he knows people will write it either way but he is uncomfortable with it.

Also, the whole age gap thing stems from my parents having a 6 year age gap and it being entirely awful for both of them. I understand it can be good but 30 year olds and 20 year olds are in differnt parts of their lives and that disconnect can make it hard to have a good relationship with someone. Along with people who write age gaps can sometimes write age gaps weirdly(or I may just have trauma from being an aphmau fan haha)

I can't simply block the tubbo shipping tag on tumblr(where I look at most content) as it'll still show up because people can sometimes slip stuff like that in sub consciously and not tag it.

Again, thank you for writing that all you didnt sound rude or critical it was very kind and understanding and simply an explanation. I just am mainly concerned with the heavy shipping that seems to happen in this fandom and the disregard for the basic decency of not just shipping everyone with everyone especially when the banter is typically seen within their other friendships and outside canon interactions(I forgot to mention in my last post how it was typical for sbi to flirt just like tubbo with others and it just seems as a tubbling for a few years now that its what he does when hes comfortable with someone.)

[bleeding-hart]

God I can't fuckin catch a break my adhd keeps pelting me with so many things to be obsessive about and my autism makes sure that if I don't interact with them I'm gonna feel like my chest is being torn out and I'm dying slowly but my adhd doesn't let me actually choose one to interact with cause it keeps bringing up the others but my autism is panicking about that because I need to have a Thing to do

I just want to like. Read, write or draw in peace. Is that too much to ask for. Five minutes

I missed having a hyperfixation when I didn't for a month or so but I forgot how extreme my brain gets about them ig they're called hyper for a reason

[sweatyflytrap]

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