#alive despite whatever fears I have had about not being able to make it another year. So yes...I will anticipate being 24 and then 25 and

[thornedswan]

My birthday isn't until March, but I am oddly looking forward to being 24

[queenie-ofthe-void]

The Babysitter Chronicles - Henderson

steve harrington and dustin henderson || 1.8k words || CWs: none || 5+1 Steve asks for permission to babysit the kids, and one time he's asked in return; post season 2 AU

~~~

This has been the worst week of Steve’s life.

Not only does Nancy think he’s bullshit, he found out she never actually loved him, she cheated on him, and she partially blames him for Barb’s death.

He was almost eaten alive by alternate dimension monster demodogs, almost died at the hands of Billy fucking Hargrove, almost died in the backseat of Billy’s car, and then almost died again in the tunnels. 

He’s pretty sure he has a serious concussion and a broken nose. The stitches on his forehead are starting to itch. He’s had a migraine every day since, and there’s ringing in his ears.

Steve honestly thought he could put all of this Upside-Down shit behind him. Pack it away in a tiny box and move on. Yet he was dragged into it once again, forced to protect kids he barely knows from both monsters and humans. 

He deserves to get paid for this shit, to be honest. 

He’s got no friends to sit with at lunch, no girlfriend to love him, and no parents at home to take care of him.

After spending the week at home alone, wallowing and recovering, he found himself thinking of the kids. It was the first time he felt anything other than misery and physical pain. But they were big, complicated emotions that he’s still untangling. He’s been able to pick out fear and anxiety, annoyance, exasperation, and– surprisingly– fondness. When he thinks of the kids, he’s hit with a surge of fierce protectiveness and devotion.

He’s got nothing to show for his life and no one to spend it with. Those kids, though, needed him in a way he’s never felt before. It was life or death, and they trusted him to keep them safe. Now that it’s over, even If he isn’t necessarily wanted, maybe he could at least continue being useful.

Which is how he finds himself pulling up to the same curb as he did a week ago. At least this time he’s not here about the Upside-Down; although, knowing Dustin, he wouldn’t be surprised.

“Steve!” Dustin’s running out the front door and down the driveway in just a t-shirt and sweatpants despite the chilly November morning. He plows into his chest at full speed and almost sends them both toppling over. “Steve, holy shit you’re here! Oh shit your face.”

“Hey man, language ok?” Jesus, the mouth on this kid. “Relax twerp, ease up on the hug, you're killing my ribs.”

Dustin immediately drops his arms and backs away, looking cowed. Steve’s going to have to work on his approach, apparently the kid’s sensitive. Or maybe Steve’s still a bit of a bully, another part of himself that needs to be fixed.

“It’s ok, Dustin, don’t worry about it. Just a little sore still.”

He perks back up again, bouncing up and down on his heels. The little gremlin’s toothless smile is so damn cute Steve wants to give him a noogie. 

“Ok then,” Dustin replies, “so why are you here?”

“Uhhh, actually I’m here to talk to your mom.” Feeling suddenly awkward, Steve runs a nervous hand through his hair. He hisses as it pulls on his stitches.

“My mom?” he asks, incredulously. “Why? What’s going on?”

Steve supposes he should’ve thought of this. It makes more sense to talk with Dustin before actually asking his mom for permission, but he hadn’t practiced this part. Now here he is, facing down an over-dramatic middle schooler and he’s actually nervous about it.

“Yeah, I kind of noticed you’re an only child, and you don’t really have a dad around.”

Dustin’s face falls, morphing into a scowl. Shit, Steve’s barely said one word and he’s already messing this up.

“Not all of us have rich parents who buy us whatever they want,” the kid huffs, crossing his arms and kicking non-existent rocks.

“No wait, ok look I’m sorry Dustin, that’s not what I meant. I’m not really great at talking about stuff like this. The important stuff anyways. Let me try again. Please?”

The kid’s still scowling, but his body relaxes a bit and he nods.

“Ok I’ll start over,” Steve continues. “Even though we were dealing with all of the Upside-Down shit and it was literally the worst week of my entire life, I enjoyed having you around. I’d sleep better at night if I knew you twerps are safe and I know you don’t really have anyone around other than your mom and the other gremlins–”

“The Party.”

Steve stares at him, mouth hanging open as he’s cut off mid-sentence. He’s in the middle of pouring his heart out to this mouthy ten year old and he’s got the audacity to interrupt him.

“The what now?”

“The Party, Steve.” The little shit’s tone is overflowing with condescension. “The group. We’re called the Party. You know, like in DnD?”

“What the hell is a dandy?”

“You, kind of,” Dustin mutters under his breath. Steve doesn’t really know what that means and coming from this kid he probably doesn’t want to. “D and D stands for Dungeons and Dragons, Steve. It’s a role playing game.”

“Whoa, alright I think you’re a little too young to be playing role playing games.”

“I’ve literally been playing for three years.”

“You’ve been roleplaying since you were seven?”

“I’m thirteen Steve!” He’s pretty sure Dustin’s screeching can be heard from the other side of town. “What are we even talking about right now? Why are you here, at my home, looking for my mom?”

“I want to be your goddamned babysitter!” Steve screams back. He takes a deep breath– in and out. This kid’s going to be the death of him, he just knows it.

He looks down to find Dustin’s eyes wide and mouth formed in a perfect oval. The kid’s shocked, either from what Steve said or that he literally shouted it in his face. Now it’s Steve’s turn to kick rocks. He shuffles back and forth, shoving his hands in his pockets to keep them from tugging his hair again.

“You guys almost died, man,” Steve says softly, avoiding eye contact. It makes this part easier. “You almost died, and if I hadn’t been there, I have no idea what would’ve happened. Maybe you all would’ve been fine, I don’t know. But it was my job to keep you safe, and you don’t have anyone else around except your mom and the grem– I mean the Party– to look out for you. I had to quit basketball thanks to Billy, and Nancy broke up with me. My parents are literally never home, so I’ve got a lot of free time on my hands. Figure I could use some of that time keeping you out of trouble.”

Dustin’s face hasn’t changed, still devoid of any emotion other than shock. God damnit, Steve really messed this up. He looks around and rubs the back of his neck. His skin’s prickling with nerves as he starts to sweat and he takes a step backwards towards the safety of his car. 

This was a stupid idea. Why would any of these kids want anything to do with him? He’s nothing like them: smart, nerdy, can save the world without taking a beating. Steve thought he could be useful, worthwhile to someone– to Dustin. He should know better by now.

“Look, I’m sorry. I’m just going to go,” Steve says. But as he turns to leave, Dustin slams into him once more. Steve’s breath whooshes from his lungs and a lightning strike of pain travels up his back. He thinks he’s shaking from the pain, except his crewneck is starting to feel damp against the kid’s face and he can see Dustin’s shoulders practically vibrating. “Hey, Dustin. Hey it’s ok, are you alright? What’s wrong man, talk to me.”

Dustin doesn’t look up, just keeps his face buried in Steve’s sweatshirt and grips him tighter. It hurts and it aches and it pulls at all of his injuries. He still lets Dustin hold on for as long as he needs to. 

There’s a slight movement out of the corner of his good eye, and he glances up towards the house to see a small, curvy woman smiling at them through the window. Not wanting to dislodge Dustin, he slightly lifts his hand to wave. He’s surprised when she honest to God clutches her heart and wipes what he assumes is a tear from her eye.

Steve’s already worried he screwed this whole thing up. He definitely didn’t think it would happen in front of a goddamned audience. 

The kid’s still holding on, but the shaking has subsided and he’s breathing easier. Steve smashes his hat to ruffle his hair, and Dustin backs off with a shriek. His face is covered in red blotches matching his bloodshot eyes. Steve looks down at his sweatshirt to find a tears-snot-spit wet patch stained into his chest.

“Dude, gross,” Steve huffs. At least he’s wearing an undershirt. Dustin just chuckles. 

“Like friends?” Dustin asks, still wiping at his face. “I wouldn’t mind, you know, hanging out. Whenever you’re not busy, I mean.”

It’s Steve’s turn to feel a burn behind his eyes. Relief fills him with warmth as his growing anxiety is washed away. Dustin wants him around. He wants to spend time with him and Steve never really thought he’d get this far. All he had was a half-baked idea to serve himself up for the one thing he knows he’s good for. And he was wanted.

He reaches out and pulls the kid back in for a hug, holding him tight despite the pain. Dustin starts trying to push off, so Steve flips him around under his armpit in a headlock, rubbing his knuckles roughly into the top of Dustin’s hat as he starts to screech again. He huffs, straightening out his hat, still sporting that iconic toothless smile. 

“Now,” Steve says, “all I have to do is ask your mom.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Dustin replies, turning around to lead Steve towards the house. He sees the curtains pulled roughly shut and the silhouette of the woman heading toward the front door. “She already knows all about you. I told her what happened. Well, the government version.”

“You told your mom about me?” Steve asks in awe.

“Duh, why wouldn’t I? Sure, you got your ass handed to you, but it was totally awesome!”

“Right,” Steve scoffs. He’ll let that one slide for now. “You’re sure she won’t mind?”

“Mom’s going to love you. She’s been asking about you all week.”

If she’s anything like her son, then hopefully Steve’s got nothing to worry about. And maybe if he can watch one kid, he can talk to the rest of their parents– look after the whole Party of gremlins. He can host after school hangouts and movie nights, sleepovers in the living room and pool parties in the summer. There’s the beginnings a plan forming in his head, which parents and kids he needs to talk to next. 

When he’s met with Mrs. Henderson’s warm smile, he thinks maybe the rest of this year will be alright.

~~~

2. Mayfield (pt 1) || ao3

[opencommunion]

"We decided to come to this farm because we could not find any other place to go to," said Rafat Lukman, whose family of 32 includes newborns and small children. "We came here thinking that we can put up with it for a few days, but this war has taken much longer. I cannot believe that my own children are sleeping in cages where chickens slept. I look at them and my heart breaks for the childhood I am giving them. But what else could I do?" From inside the chicken cages, the children can easily spot the Egyptian-controlled Rafah border with its high walls covered with barbed wires. "My daughter took her teddy bear with her when we evacuated the first time. She'd kept it with her the whole time," Lukman said. "But the other day, it rained and the farm flooded. She was sleeping in the cage and her teddy fell into the rainwater and got lost. She cried so much about it the next day. And again, her mum and I felt so helpless. We can't even get her a new teddy bear." Lukman's children say they have become used to their new reality now and it is difficult to remember that one day they had a house and bedrooms. "We are still lucky that we are not dead and that our parents are alive," Rafat's 12-year-old daughter, Mais, said. "But to be honest, I still feel scared sleeping in the cages. They are very cold and dark at night. I have always hated insects, but they are everywhere here, and I cannot do anything about it." In central Gaza, meanwhile, displaced people have also been living in squalid conditions due to overcrowding in shelters - which include schools, hospitals and mosques - and lack of basic services, including clean water, sanitation and a working sewage system. Abu Ahmed Jaber, a father and grandfather, had been sheltering in a UN-run school and decided to go back to his house that was bombed one afternoon while the family was home having lunch.  "The situation in the schools is horrible. They are overcrowded. No toilets, no food, no water and no privacy whatsoever. So I decided to come back with my family to my bombed house and live in whatever space was left standing," Jaber told MEE. When Israel bombed his house, smoke engulfed the family, blackening the afternoon light. "We thought we were dead," Jaber said. The elderly man and his sons pulled out their pregnant sister and her one-year-old daughter from under the rubble with their bare hands. The family fled to a school for shelter, where his daughter bled for hours before an ambulance was able to make its way to them. Despite their traumatic experience, Jaber, who suffers from heart problems and diabetes, made the decision to return to their destroyed home in Bureij, in central Gaza, because he felt that all other alternatives lacked dignity. "This is my house. How can I let go of it? I literally built it with my hands stone by stone. I look at it 20 times a day and I struggle with the fact that I cannot even rebuild or fix anything," said Jaber, in a voice full of sorrow and anger. "I cry every night. I cannot even sleep anymore. If I fall asleep and wake up for any reason, I cannot fall back asleep. I am living a very primitive life amid the rubble, but I would rather do that than leave my house and evacuate from one place to another like chess pieces. And what for? What have I and my family done?" ... Palestinians in Gaza are living today what their grandparents lived over 70 years ago, and the fear of never being able to return is at the heart of their concern. "If the house is destroyed, the land is still there, and it is mine. I would rather die here than live another Nakba like my family did before me," Jaber said.

17 Feb 24

[shadowynn]

| the paradigm complex | three |

pairing: ot8 ateez x fem! reader

genre: yandere!vampire!cult!poly!ateez au

warnings: yandere behavior, some cursing, negative thoughts, cheating, toxic relationships, (like, um, things aren't really healthy here in anyone's relationship except for reader and felix. sorry.)

summary:

They'll do whatever you ask. Anything you need. Anything you want. It's yours. They'll fulfill your every desire and whim. Give you the life you had always dreamed about.

And in exchange, you wouldn't just give them your soul. Oh, no, They weren't demons. What good was your soul when your purpose was better served alive and well? Your soul was nice, sure, but it wasn't all they wanted. It wasn't all they needed. They needed your body, your mind. Your blood. You entirely. Every single fiber of your being would soon be theirs and theirs alone.

The moment you signed that contract, everything would change. For them and for you.

And there was nothing you could do about it.

word count: 8.3k

a/n: i'm sorry it took this long, but i think i finally got this where i want it to be. i'm also laughing at my past self for saying this wasn't going to be serious and not really a novel and more of a series of one-shots, and yet, here i am, writing a novel because apparently i can't write anything else. oops. but, seriously, i hope you all enjoy. and let me know if i missed anyone on the tags or if you want to be added/removed.

| two | three | four |

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You stared at the open trunk of your car, wondering just how the hell you were going to get either box up to your new apartment by yourself. When you had ordered the new mattress and bedframe for your new place, you had been counting on Felix to help you move things in, but then he had called earlier stating he was sick and leaving you by yourself for the day.

You couldn’t blame him. Not when you knew he had been looking forward to this day almost as much as you had, eager for an inside look at The Paradigm and a possible peek at your future coworkers. But the timing of it all couldn’t have been worse for you, having already picked up your new furniture from the store by the time he had called you to let you know. If your situation had been normal, you could have just left them in your car until the following weekend, but you knew that would only put you in a worse situation. One where you might be forced to kiss your new life goodbye before it had ever even started. 

Knowing there was an elevator did give you a slight boost in confidence, and you thought you could very possibly get the box that contained your bed frame up to your place. The mattress, however, was a different story. Perhaps you might have been able to do it if you dragged it, but even then, you risked making a commotion and you didn’t want to accidentally damage anything in the endeavor either. The last thing you needed was to make a worse impression than you already had; the fact you had been late to your lease signing still haunted your mind despite Seonghwa’s insistence it was fine.

The only other option you could think of was to ask one of your future coworkers for help. Since you had signed the lease last Monday, you had been added to a group chat with the eight of them, each who had been nothing short of sweet and welcoming to you. And though there had been multiple offers of help extended your way, you hadn’t actually expected to take any of them up on it. You didn’t want to bother them on a Saturday afternoon, especially with such a late notice, but your fear of keeping the boxes in your car for another week only to risk your boyfriend seeing them far outweighed your fear of asking for help.

Running a hand through your hair and doing your best to ignore the anxieties that popped up from the thought, you pulled your phone out of your back pocket and opened up the group chat. Your eyes briefly skimmed over the previous  messages, unable to keep your cheeks from tinting pink at their content, especially knowing the face behind each name.

They chatted often. Not enough to where your phone was always blowing up, but enough for you to see the clear bond between them, leading to many occasions of you feeling like you were an intruder, not quite familiar with many of their jokes or references. But just when you would begin to wonder if they had forgotten you were there, someone would direct the conversation your way, directly asking your opinion on the matter or apologizing on the behalf of someone else in the chat.

You scrolled past the messages that had come through on your drive over  as you hesitated - someone had borrowed one of Hongjoong’s jackets a few weeks ago and had yet to return it - fingers hovering over the screen for a few seconds as you wondered just how to word the message without sounding too needy. By the time you had come up with something and typed it out, you quickly deleted it before retyping something else before deleting and repeating the process all over a second time. This time however, you hit send before you could even think about talking yourself out of it and attempting to move in by yourself to avoid the anxiety asking for help always brought.

Your regret was immediate, and you quickly locked your phone up and slid it in your pocket to avoid seeing any responses the request might pull and wondering just what you were thinking. Your phone buzzed almost immediately, and you froze, wanting to pull it out, and yet, terrified all the same. When it buzzed once again a few seconds later, you slowly pulled it out, preparing yourself for the worst, but finding two acceptances instead. Jongho had been the first to respond with a short, but enthusiastic Me! while Mingi had followed a few seconds later, stating he was also free if an extra set of hands was needed.

There was relief in knowing you would be able to unpack your car this weekend, but the solution had come with its own set of problems. Not only did you still feel like an inconvenience for bothering them on the weekend, but you really didn’t know any of them at this point, and had yet to even meet either of the two who had offered to help you today face-to-face. From your previous experiences with each of them, you were confident you could get along well enough, but it would still be a while before you became comfortable enough around them that you didn’t always feel slightly on edge.

You sifted through a few of the other boxes and bags in your car as you waited for Jongho and Mingi to come, briefly checking your own appearance in your car’s rear view mirror. Now that you no longer needed your savings to rent a place of your own, you had been free to spend some of it on furnishing your new apartment and had spent the majority of the morning out shopping. Besides your clothing, books, and a few other belongings you couldn’t bear to part with, there was little you would be actually taking from your current place and you wanted this place to be as move-in ready as it could be by this time next week. And while you hadn’t gotten everything you needed, not quite having enough on hand to buy any other major furniture pieces besides a bed, you were able to snag some new towels, bedsheets, and enough dishware to get you started for the time being.

Your eyes glanced behind you every so often as you waited, looking out for the two who had stated they were on their way down once you had given them your location. You weren’t sure exactly what either boy looked like, but you did have a sneaking suspicion you would be able to spot them nonetheless. All you had to do was likely wait for the next two attractive strangers to leave the apartment building and you were sure to find them.

And though you did your best to not let your mind dwell there, you found yourself growing self-conscious of your own appearance, checking and straightening your hair up once more in the mirror. You had dressed simply for the occasion, putting your own comfort first, and merely pulling on a pair of joggers, cropped tee, and a jacket that you had since wrapped around your waist from the lingering summer heat. Before, you had at least tried to fit in with the higher class of the complex, but one brief look at the tenants who had just walked inside, and you were swiftly reminded of how much you stuck out here.

You didn’t have to wait too much longer. Just a few minutes later and you found you had been right in your earlier assessment. At the sound of the door opening behind you, you glanced back to find two men walking out, both equally as attractive as the others. The one on the left was tall, just as tall if not taller than Yunho had been, while the other was just a few inches taller than yourself. Something that had been said must have annoyed the shorter one, as he shoved the other as they made their way outside, but a smile was planted on each of their faces and the earlier action done playfully.

Upon seeing you standing by your car, both of their faces instantly lit up and the taller one was quick to wave. His smile was infectious, leaving you to follow suit with your own before returning his wave as well.

“You must be y/n.” It was the taller one who addressed you first as they drew close, holding out his hand for you to shake. “I’m Mingi.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, Mingi.” Now that you were close, you could see his hair was not black like you had originally thought, but a dark blue. that shone through in the fluorescent lights of the parking garage.

His smile nearly had you melting up close, instantly setting your nerves to rest as you took his hand. So, this was the other doctor who served at the complex, seemingly just as sweet and gentle as Yunho had been. And with his appearance just as young as the former, you wondered if the two had met in medical school. They definitely appeared around the same age as each other.

“I’m Jongho.” The other swiftly stole your attention, his smile just as endearing as the one before. All it took was one quick look and you were struck with the sudden urge to know just what it felt like to be hugged by him, all but craving to be wrapped up in his warm embrace.

“So, you needed some help moving things in?” Mingi asked, snapping the strange spell that had grabbed hold of you in that moment, a slight edge to his tone that surprised you. You turned your gaze back to him just in time to see the look he had given Jongho, not quite angry, nor was it quite frustrated either, but almost reprimanding. But a smile was quick to replace it when his gaze met yours once more, leaving you wondering if it hadn’t just been a trick of the light. 

“Yes,  sorry.” Your smile became bashful, once again embarrassed by having to ask for their help. “My friend was supposed to be here with me today to help, but then he came down with something and wasn’t able to make it, so thank you, truly, for your help. I really appreciate it.”

You ran your hand through your hair, wondering if you would ever feel completely at ease around any of them. You had no want for any sort of romantic relationship once you finally broke things off with your boyfriend the following week, but the strange attraction you felt towards each of them was enough to keep you on edge, leaving you flustered more often than not, all but craving to get in closer. 

“It shouldn’t take too long. I just needed some help with these two boxes,” you motioned to the two larger ones, inwardly cursing yourself. You had never had this problem before, not even with Haneul, who you had been silently crushing on since he had started working with you. “So, maybe just five or so minutes of your time and then you can return back to whatever it was you were doing beforehand.”

“Don’t worry about it. We’re both more than happy to help.” Jongho waved your concern away, moving past you to grab the heavier of the two boxes. “Neither of us were up to anything important. We were just hiding out at Wooyoung’s place while he started prepping for dinner tonight, which he said you are more than welcome to come to as well, by the way.”

“Careful, that’s-” You barely registered the invitation to dinner, more concerned about helping Jongho with the box he was pulling out, but he lifted it with ease, “...heavy.”

You found it impossible not to stare, watching it awe as he shifted the box onto his right shoulder to help support the weight, and unable to keep your eyes from wandering over the muscles on his arms. You had struggled to lift the box into your car earlier, and yet, he had made it look like it was nothing.

Just how much did this guy workout?

“Careful, Jongho,” Mingi’s voice held a similar tone from earlier, breaking you out from your thoughts once more. You were acutely aware you had been staring at Jongho in that moment, and shifted your gaze away, but not before Jongho had caught your wandering eyes out of the corner of his own.

“I’ve got it, I’ve got it.” He waved both of your concerns away, an innocent, yet almost smug smile on his face. 

Mingi didn’t seem nearly as amused, but his expression lightened when he turned to address you. “Don’t worry, I can get the other one if you don’t mind getting the doors.”

You nodded, watching in a similar awe as Mingi grabbed the box that contained your new bed frame with just as much ease as Jongho before. You knew you weren’t that strong, but you didn’t think you were that weak either. Sure, you didn’t go to the gym every day, or even every other day for that matter, but you liked to think you had some muscles from casually working out with Felix over the past few years when you had the time. 

It took you several seconds to comprehend Mingi’s request, body and mind not quite catching up to what was currently happening until Jongho called for you from further ahead. You shook your head, snapping yourself out of the daze and grabbing a few bags from your trunk before running up to grab the door for Jongho before he reached it.

You didn’t have to direct either of them to your unit. Upon reaching the elevator, Mingi had pressed the button for the sixth floor before you could even think to say something and guided you effortlessly down the hall to where the door to your apartment lay.

“Where would you like us to put them?” Mingi asked as he slid past the door you held open and into the main room. “Upstairs?”

“If it’s not too much trouble, that would be great.”

It felt strange coming back here, once again in complete awe of the space around you. It was more than you could ever dream of, and completely yours. A fact you didn’t think would ever settle completely in your head.

“Hey, y/n, this is your bed, right?” Jongho pulled you from your thoughts, leaning over the banister of the lofted area to address you. “You want us to put it together for you while we’re here?”

“Oh, no, that’s okay. I can get it myself later.” You shook your head, waving his offer away. “I’ve taken enough of your Saturday as it is.”

“Trust me, neither one of us minds. And if I’m being honest, you’re really doing us a favor. Hongjoong was trying to rope us into running a few errands for him since we were free and I did not feel like driving around town all afternoon.” Propping his elbows up against the edge, he rested his chin down into his hands. “So, we are now your humble servants for the rest of the afternoon, ready and willing to do whatever you need of us.”

He winked, and you hoped he couldn’t see the blush that tinted your cheeks as you turned your head away and used all your current brainpower to come up with a proper response.

“C’mon, while Jongho starts putting the bed frame together, why don’t you and I get the rest of the stuff from your car?” Mingi didn’t seem to have any reservations about Jongho’s former statement as he came back down the stairs, motioning with his head for the two of you to head back out. “And then we can help him finish when we’re done.”

He didn’t wait for you to agree, leaving you no choice but to follow after him and accept their offer of help.

“So, how long have you lived here?” You asked once the two of you had made it back down to your car, shuffling around some of the boxes to have a better grip.

“I’ve been here since The Paradigm opened,” Mingi replied, taking the heavier boxes from your hands and leaving you with just the new bedsheets and towels to carry. “Hongjoong and I have known each other for a long time, so when he introduced a new business venture he was interested in, I signed right up. The rent was free and it certainly beat the long shifts at the hospital.” He shrugged, closing your trunk for you now that it was empty. “What about you? Have you always lived in the city?”

You shook your head, readjusting the bags in your hands to open the door for the two of you. “I grew up in a pretty rural area up north, but moved down here for college, so I’ve only been in the city for about… three years now, I think.”

“And what do you think about it?”

“City life definitely has its pros and cons, and for the most part, I really do love living here, but I don’t know,” you shrugged, “sometimes it’s just a little overwhelming being in such a big place all on your own.”

“You’re by yourself?” Mingi’s head tilted, surprised by your words. “I’m sorry, I just assumed you had been living with someone else.”

“Well, you’d be right about that. I pretty much moved in with my boyfriend as soon as I arrived, but,” you paused, unsure how exactly to word your current situation, “I guess I've always felt like I was still all by myself.”

“Is that why you’re getting a new place?” 

You shook your head. “We’re actually breaking up, so I was in need of a new place to stay.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Thank you, but it’s really for the best.” It was hard to meet Mingi’s eyes as you waited for the elevator, fingers nervously fidgeting with the bags in your hands. “The two of us might have been fighting the inevitable for a while, but it’s really something that’s been coming for a long time now, and honestly, as terrified as it makes me being out on my own again, I’m also relieved to finally be able to get away.”

“And why’s that?” It was hard to place Mingi’s expression. He was empathetic towards your situation, that was obvious, but there was something else there. Something more than the vague curiosity he presented alongside it. 

You could feel your body freezing up on you, wondering if it was appropriate to dump all your past trauma on someone you had just met, but Mingi felt nothing but genuine next to you. His gentle nature all but encouraging you to tell him what was on your mind.

“Well, let’s just say the guy has never learned how to keep it in his pants.” The words rolled out with ease, prompting you to continue. “And I know, I’m an idiot for staying with him through it all this time, but each time I talked to him about it, he truly seemed sorry and willing to change, and it’s not like I had anywhere else to go.” 

Your words trailed off, feeling self-conscious over your past attempts. It was so easy to see how foolish you were now. To see how you should have left. To see how anyone in their right mind would have left, and yet, you hadn’t. You had allowed him to convince you to stay each and every time, fully believing everything would work out. 

You tugged the bags you were holding closer to your chest, suddenly feeling very small and insignificant in that moment. As much as you knew the problem lay with him and not yourself, you still fought against the lies that told you it was your fault, that if you had only been better, none of this would have ever happened. He would have never cheated on you; you would have never gotten yourself hurt.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to dump that all on you.”

“I don’t mind. After all, it’s not good to keep feelings all bottled up inside and if it makes you feel better, I can listen to you rant about him as long as you need.” Mingi’s shoulder bumped against your own as the elevator came to a stop, and you could see his smile reflecting in the doors as they opened, but it didn’t quite meet his eyes this time around. “But I can’t help but feel a little concerned over the fact you’re still living with him over this next week. Are you sure that’s safe?”

“It’s not ideal, sure, but it’s not like I have any other choice. I would have loved to move in as soon as I had signed the lease, but he knows where I work and he would have just come in one day and convinced me to change my mind. He can be very persuasive when he wants to be.” You could feel your body tensing, not quite comfortable with the direction the conversation had taken. It was uncomfortable to talk about this side of your past, embarrassing to see just how easily you had allowed him to manipulate you. “But it’s nothing to worry about. I’ve been with him for the past three  years, so I can do one more week as long as he doesn’t catch on that I’m leaving. And despite his cheating ways, he’s never done anything to hurt me. Well,” you frowned, instantly taking note of the lie you had just spoken, “not physically, at least.”

You drove the conversation to its end as you made it back to your apartment, motioning for Mingi to set his boxes on the kitchen counter for now. And while you made your way upstairs to check on Jongho and leave the conversation completely, Mingi excused himself out into the hallway to make a quick phone call once he remembered he had forgotten to list a few of the supplies he had needed Hongjoong to pick up during his time out.

“You want some help?” 

Jongho had made some progress in your absence, the majority of the pieces scattered around him in the relative shape of a bed, and you couldn’t help but feel partially guilty for leaving him to do the task for you when it was your bed frame. 

He nodded, motioning for you to come over. “If you could hold this together for me real quick, that would be great.”

“Of course.” 

You matched his smile as you settled down on the ground beside him to take hold of the pieces he was talking about, and it didn’t take long for you to become aware of how close the two of you were in that moment. Especially, when he leaned in closer to screw together the two pieces you were holding for him.

“Once again, thank you.” You spoke after a few minutes, hoping to alleviate some of the tension you felt from being so close to him, and hating how on edge he made you. It was the same way with the others, and yet, it was distinctly worse around some than others. Jongho’s presence fell towards the latter, and you had a much harder time keeping a grip on your thoughts and emotions around him than you had with Mingi, and yet, one look at both of them was enough for all your solid reasoning to leave your body. “I really appreciate your help.” 

“It’s no problem at all,” Jongho replied, arm brushing up against yours. “Like I said earlier, you’re really doing us a favor in return. We were looking for an excuse to be busy until dinner tonight.” 

“Oh, yeah, you mentioned Wooyoung was making dinner for you. That’s very sweet of him.” You thought Jongho might have mentioned Wooyoung had also extended an invitation towards you, but didn’t want to make any assumptions in case you had heard him wrong, distracted by the show of strength of the boy next to you.

“He’s just about the only one of us who’s actually any good at cooking. Well, Seonghwa’s pretty decent as well, but he doesn’t enjoy it the way Wooyoung does, nor is he as willing to share with the rest of us. Woo usually hosts a dinner once or twice a week, but you’ll definitely have to watch out for him,” Jongho continued. “Baking is pretty much that man’s love language and he’ll load you with more goods and sweets then you’ll know what to do with.”

“Oh, well, if that’s how he is, I guess it’s a good thing I have a sweet tooth.”

The words were out before you could stop them, and it took you a few seconds to realize just what you had said and how it might have sounded, especially the chuckle it had pulled out of Jongho. You hadn’t meant anything by it, but as you quickly ran through the words in your head once more, you began to question what exactly Jongho had meant by his statement and if it hadn’t been as innocent as you had first believed. Especially when he was quick to quip back, “You’re not the only one.” 

And was it your imagination, or had he shifted closer to you than necessary? Leaning forward into you as he reached around your body to tighten the piece he had you holding. 

Thankfully, you were saved from responding when Mingi came up the stairs behind you, though the way he cleared his voice to announce his presence didn’t make you feel any better from the position Jongho had taken around you.

“Fucking hell, Mingi.” Jongho’s string of curses was almost too low to hear, leaving you once again wondering what exactly was going on around you as Jongho straightened back up. His eyes rolled, agitation once again lining his features, or at least you thought it had. One blink and the look was gone, replaced with another innocent expression as he motioned to his left hand. “Sorry, cut myself.” His hand rose to his mouth, briefly sucking on the end of his middle finger to get rid of the blood that had begun pooling on the tip.

You averted your eyes, shaking your head in an attempt to clear it and wondering just what was up with you today. Perhaps you were simply coming down with whatever illness Felix had. You had seen him the day before, after all, so you very well could have caught it from him then; the beginning of a fever clouding your mind and judgment. And yet, your forehead felt cool to the touch when you brushed the back of your hand against it despite the heat that flooded you.

Things calmed down once Mingi joined the two of you, helping you finish putting the bed frame together. Once it was completed, you directed them to where you wanted it to lie before unboxing your mattress and allowing it time to air out before tugging on the set of sheets you had bought. 

By the time you were all done, it was nearly five and you were far more exhausted than you expected to be, especially knowing you had the opening shift tomorrow morning. You were supposed to be working it with Felix, but now you weren’t so sure since he had come down with something. You didn’t really have any qualms with the rest of your coworkers, nor with your managers, but working with Felix was always a lot less exhausting than working a shift with anyone else.

“Thank you again for helping me out,” you said as you made your way back downstairs, rolling out the kinks in your back. “I really appreciate all your help and I don’t mean to seem rude, but I should probably get ready to head back to my place soon.” 

“You’re not going to stay for dinner?” Jongho asked, seemingly disappointed as he reminded you of the offer he had extended towards you earlier in the day. 

“Oh, right.”

You had forgotten about the invitation until now, and quickly debated over what you should do. On one hand, you were exhausted and craved an evening to yourself, but on the other hand, you didn’t want to seem rude and turn down the offer either. It would be good to get to know them and the others a bit better, and if you wanted everything here to go smoothly as possible, it would be best to get on good terms with each of them.

“If you’re sure I wouldn’t be interrupting anything, I’d love to join you, but I probably can’t stay too long. I have work tomorrow morning and a fairly long drive back to my place.”

And with reassurances your presence was more than welcomed, you followed them out of your apartment and down to the floor beneath yours where Wooyoung’s own unit lay. The door was unlocked, and neither boy even bothered knocking and made their way inside as though it was their own apartment. You followed behind a bit more hesitantly, slipping off your shoes at the doorway and pushing them to the side. 

The layout to Wooyoung’s place was vastly different from yours, having actual bedrooms towards the back instead of a lofted studio like your own. A large kitchen was directly to your right, which then flowed directly into a small dining room with a view of the city behind it, while the living area was to your left. 

Wooyoung was busy in the kitchen upon your arrival, and you could faintly make out two figures sprawled out on the couch playing what looked to be Super Smash Bros. 

“Oh, y/n, you came!” 

Wooyoung was the first to notice your presence, but one mention of your name was all it took for the game on your left to pause and the two seated there to give you their attention as well. Now that their heads were turned towards you, you were able to see it was Yeosang and San seated there.

“Thanks for having me over, and for dinner too.” You returned his smile, shuffling awkwardly at everyone’s attention. “I’ve heard a lot about your cooking and can’t wait to try it.” And if it was anything like the cookies you had earlier in the week or the smell wafting from the kitchen, you knew it probably matched up to the hype.

“Well, unfortunately you’ll have to wait another hour or so before it’s ready and everyone else gets here,” Wooyoung turned as the timer on the oven went off, “but feel free to make yourself at home in the meantime and just let me know if you need anything.”

“Hey, y/n, we have plenty of controllers if you want to join.” Before you could thank Wooyoung, you were being waved over by San and Yeosang, the former waving a controller your way.

“Sure, I’d love to,” you politely excused yourself from Wooyoung as you were guided over to the living room by Mingi, “though I must warn you, I’m not very good. I never really got any of the combos down, so I’m usually just button mashing and hoping for the best.”

“Well, you wouldn’t be the only one,” San replied, motioning to the spot between him and Yeosang on the couch and handing you a controller when you had sat down. “Even the bots can beat Yeosang.”

“May I remind you that we only switched to this game because you got tired of me kicking your ass in Mario Kart.”

“Don’t feel too bad, I’m even worse at that game.” You giggled as Yeosang ended the game he and San had been playing, loading up a new preset for the rest of you to join. “Thankfully, though, I can always do pretty decent in Mario Party. Which is kind of sad, but I’ll take what I can get.” 

“Well, we have that too if you want to switch.” Yeosang replied, but you shook your head, not wanting to ruin their fun. 

“No, this is perfectly fine with me. I might be terrible at it, but I still enjoy playing.” You contemplated which character you were going to pick as you spoke. You had thought about starting with Link, but upon seeing Mingi get to him before you, you decided to just go with your other go-to for the first round.

“Sephiroth, huh?” Yeosang was the first to remark as you solidified your character.

“Mmhmm.” You shifted in your seat, pulling your legs up to your chest as you nodded. “Final Fantasy and Zelda were pretty much my childhood growing up, so I usually tend to orient towards those characters. Well, them and Joker. I never really got into the Persona games like my friend Felix, but I do love his aesthetic.”

It took you a few rounds to get back into the swing of things, having been several months since the last time you had played. You rotated between characters as you went, going from Shiek to Joker and then back to Sephiroth, but it was clear you were nowhere near the level of the others. Occasionally you would beat Yeosang, and even once managed to outlast Mingi, but on most occasions you would be the first one dead, proving your lack of skills for the game.

After a few more games, you decided to take a break, excusing yourself to go check on Wooyoung and feeling a little guilty from all the work he was doing by himself while you played. You weren’t much of a cook yourself, at least not on the level he was, but surely there was something you could do, even if it was just keeping him company for the time being.

He lounged against one of the counters, head buried into the phone he held. As his eyes scanned the small screen, a frown worked its way across his features and his fingers danced across the screen to form a reply to whatever had upset him.

“Can I help with anything?”

His head whipped up at your soft approach, and whatever had upset him was quickly replaced with a smile. With one last glance at his phone, he pocketed it and shook his head. “I don’t think so. Everything’s pretty much ready , so we’re really just waiting for the others to make it back. Hongjoong had some errands to run and it seems they had to make a few detours on their way back, so they’re running later than expected. Can I get you anything to drink in the meantime, though?”

“Water if you don’t mind.”

You took a seat at the island counter as Wooyoung fetched your drink, wondering if you would ever get used to living like this. If you would ever get used to living here at The Paradigm. Despite knowing you now had your very own place one level above, you couldn’t help but feel like it was all some hazy dream. That you would finally wake up and realize nothing had changed because you knew how crazy this whole situation was. It was just too good to be true, and yet, here you still were, seemingly still wide awake.

You chatted idly with Wooyoung as you waited, munching on a small snack he had given you when you had accidentally let it slip that you hadn’t eaten anything all day. You hadn’t meant to skip lunch, but it had just slipped your mind with everything else going on. Yeosang joined the two of you shortly after, giving video games a rest for the night after being severely beaten once more.

The others arrived shortly after, just as the sun was starting to set. You couldn’t help but grow slightly more on edge at their appearance, fully aware of Hongjoong’s and Seonghwa’s position above you in your new job, but it didn’t take long to ease back into a more relaxed state. Well, as relaxed as you could be around them.

Yeosang and Wooyoung kept their positions beside you, while Hongjoong took up the empty bar stool beside you. As you ate, you spoke of your childhood, your family, as well as your interests and how you had ended up in the city. You were aware of the way the attention seemed to be directed towards you, but any time you attempted to direct the conversation elsewhere and ask them about themselves, it didn’t take long for the conversation to drift its way back to you once more. You didn’t mind, not really, having nothing to hide about your past, but you couldn’t help but feel a little bad and hoped they didn’t think badly of the fact you were doing the majority of talking.

It didn’t take long for you to lose track of time, your phone laying forgotten beside you on the counter. It wasn’t until you looked outside and saw the sun had long set that you were suddenly reminded of the fact you still had a long drive back to your apartment. You grabbed your phone to check the time, barely recognizing it was much later than you had anticipated when you noticed several missed calls and a few texts from Felix alongside a message from your manager.

“Is everything alright?” Hongjoong was the first to take note of the confusion that crossed your features as you scanned over the text from your manager, the source of Felix’s concern.

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s good. It’s just…” Your words trailed off, trying to make sense of what she had sent you and understanding why Felix had now been trying to get a hold of you. “Do you mind if I go make a call real quick?” You excused yourself from the bar, making your way out of the apartment and out into the hallway for some privacy as you returned Felix’s call.

“Jesus, y/n, do you know how badly you just scared me?” Felix didn’t even bother with a greeting, leaving you cringing as you realized exactly what sort of state he was in. “Don’t tell me that fucking bastard found out you were moving.”

“No, no, nothing like that.” You frowned, understanding how it must have looked from his side, and yet just as lost as he was over the whole situation. “I’m sorry for scaring you, Lix, I really didn’t mean to, but to be honest, I’m just as confused as you are. For some reason Hana texted me an hour ago saying not to bother showing up to work for my last few shifts. I texted her back asking why or if I had done something, but all she’s said is that she just got someone else to cover me.” 

“Wait, so she just took you off the schedule and said not to bother finishing up?” 

“That’s what it looks like.” You took a screenshot of the conversation with your manager, sending it over to Felix to show him exactly what had been said. “I mean, I guess I don’t really mind. It’s not like I need the money now, but I just don’t understand why she did it without asking me first. You don’t think I did something do you? Something that might have made her mad?” 

You had never had any problems with Hana before. Sure, you had your shared frustrations towards the way she managed the store occasionally, but the two of you had always gotten along, at least you thought you had. She had always seemed to appreciate your work ethic and she had never expressed any concern towards you before. But what if something had happened? What if she had overheard one of your conversations with Felix about you wishing you could just finish up this job and move on with your life and had gotten upset over it?

“No way, you were Hana’s favorite, so maybe she just wanted to give you a break.” Felix replied, pushing back any anxieties that had popped up from it. “You’ve covered a lot of shifts for her in the past, so maybe she just wanted to repay the favor here in the end, especially knowing how excited you are.”

“I don’t know.” You leaned back against the wall behind you, still trying to run the situation over in your head. Because of the delicate position you were in, you had only simply told her and your other coworkers you were moving. The only one who knew exactly where was Felix. “Maybe.” 

“Well, regardless of what or how it happened, it looks like you now have the week off, so what are you going to do now?”

“I don’t know.” In all your confusion over what had happened with your schedule, you had yet to even think about what that meant for you or what you might be able to do with it. “I guess I could move in early now, but…” You paused, the weight of the situation hitting you. You had known all along what was happening, and yet, it had never quite hit you like it did now. 

“But, what? Don’t tell me you're getting second thoughts about it all again, because if you are, I will drive over to your place right now and drag your ass out of there whether you want me to or not.”

“No, no, it’s not that.” At least you didn’t think it was. You wanted to leave, you did, but why did it suddenly scare you so much? “And I’m not even there right now, so your drive would be wasted.”

“Don’t tell me you’re still unpacking, are you?” You could hear the pity in Felix’s voice, fully aware he still felt terrible for having to bail on you earlier in the day.

“Oh, no. I got some help from Mingi and Jongho and we finished up hours ago.” You quickly waved his concern away. “It’s just that I got invited to dinner and lost track of time.”

“Dinner?” You didn’t have to see Felix to know what expression had crossed his face, and you did your best to hide your blush  regardless of the fact you couldn’t see each other.

“No, it’s not like that at all. I guess Wooyoung hosts dinners occasionally, so I just got roped into going as well.” Your body shifted, growing uncomfortable by the inclination his voice had held and lowering your voice. “There’s absolutely nothing going on and they’re just being friendly, Lix. Just friends hanging out with friends, nothing more.” 

“Well, at least for now.”

“Oh, come on Felix, it’ll never come to that and you know it.” And despite the teasing tone his voice had taken, you could feel yourself beginning to sink into yourself, realizing how stupid it would be to ever think otherwise. “I don’t doubt that most of them are already in a relationship, and even if they’re not, they wouldn’t be interested in me. I mean, why the hell would they?” 

“Well, if you ask me, they’d be dumb not to be.” Felix’s voice softened. “I mean, if I swung that way, I’d snag you right up before anyone else could have a chance to steal you. You’re the ultimate package, n/n. You’re sweet, kind, smart-”

“You’re only saying that because you’re required to as my best friend.”

And he had to be, didn’t he? After all, how could you believe something like that when everything in life had told you otherwise? The only person to ever express an interest in you before had swiftly shown you weren’t worth it and continued to tell you so for years. He had proved  that there was something wrong with you, because otherwise, he would have cared enough about you to not break you completely.

“I know it might be hard to believe it at times, but you are worth it, y/n, truly. And one of these days you’ll finally meet someone who will help to teach you that, but for now, you’ll just have to take it from me. And I promise you, I’m not saying any of this because I’m required to, but rather because I believe it.”  

“Oh, Felix.” You wiped your eyes, brushing away the tears that had fallen and biting back the apology that fell at the tip of your tongue. You had had this conversation or similar ones enough in the past to know Felix would only immediately refute it, saying there was absolutely no need to apologize. “I don’t know what I would do without you.” You repeated the words you had said to him so often, truly wondering why he had ever decided to become your friend with all the baggage that came with you. In all the time you had known him, he had been a bright light in your life and a steady force that had gotten you through some of the roughest times in your life.

You talked for a minute longer to help lift your spirits back up, confirming with Felix that you were in a fit state to drive and would head back to your boyfriend’s place for the night and start packing up so that you were ready and gone before he came home tomorrow night. You strayed in the hallway for a bit longer once the call was over, attempting to get your emotions under control once more and prayed that your eyes weren’t red from crying. 

Taking one last breath and doing your best to compose yourself, you made your way back into Wooyoung’s apartment to thank him, Mingi, and Jongho one last time before heading back for the night. 

“Everything alright?” Hongjoong was the first to address you at your return, but you shook off his concern as best you could, fully hoping the smile you wore met your eyes.

“Yeah, it was just some stuff that came up with work.” Your hands fiddled with the end of your jacket’s sleeves, shuffling awkwardly at the eyes that watched you. “Apparently my manager found someone to take the rest of my shifts for the week and was just letting me know.”

“So, you’re now done?” Mingi asked, turning from his conversation at the table with Yunho to address you.

You nodded. “Yeah, I think so. I’ll still need to drop a few things off sometime this week, but I’ll probably do that sometime tomorrow after I’m done packing.” You paused for a moment before continuing, hoping you wouldn’t make things awkward by leaving directly after the phone call. “Which I have quite a bit to do now in a short amount of time, so I should probably go ahead and leave for the night-”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Hongjoong asked, stopping you from heading back to the door when he took hold of your wrist. “You did have quite a bit of wine earlier, and I don’t think it would be safe for you to drive.” 

“What are you talking…?” Your head tilted, confused as to what he was talking about. You hadn’t drank anything tonight because you had known you would be driving back home. You had made sure of it.

And yet, now that you thought about it, you weren’t so sure. You didn’t think you had drank anything, but then why was there an empty wine glass next to your plate alongside the faintest memories beginning to pop up of you drinking it. Hadn’t Wooyoung offered you a glass before dinner had begun, and you had accepted thinking it would be fine if you drank it early enough?

God, how could you have forgotten you had been drinking? Were you really that drunk that you had completely forgotten what you had been doing? And how could you, when you could so clearly feel the effects of the alcohol in your system now, leaving you unsteady on your feet. What had you been thinking earlier? You were in no state to be driving. Not when you were now struggling to stand on your own two feet.

“Right, um…” You struggled  to get your thoughts together, suddenly aware of how hot it was in there. 

“Woah, you okay there, pretty?” It was Yeosang behind you who spoke, grabbing hold of your shoulder to help steady you when you attempted to take your jacket back off, the action leaving you stumbling forward.

He, alongside Hongjoong, who still had a hold on your wrist, used their grip on you to guide you back down to your seat, leaving your vision racing momentarily. When your eyes managed to focus once more, you saw Hongjoong leaning over you, his close presence doing little to calm your racing thoughts, and only serving to scramble them more than ever. And as you looked up into his eyes, all your mind could focus on was how breathtakingly beautiful he was alongside the deep yearning to feel his lips pressed against your own.

“Why don’t I take you back to your room?” His hand brushed the hair out of your eyes, expression painstakingly sweet. “And then maybe we can go over and help you pack the rest of your stuff in the morning when you’re in a better mindset, yeah?” 

You didn’t hear exactly what he had said, your brain too scrambled to comprehend what exactly was going on, but you nodded your head in agreement anyways, ready and more than willing to do whatever it was he asked of you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

taglists in reblogs :)

[none-shall-caricature-me]

What exactly is Albert's plan ? Why is there a picture of him and Monsieur M together ? Why does Albert seem to dislike M in it ? How are TWDAK and VTSOM lores linked ? What is the deep, thematic significance behind Albert's views on Vincent ? What exactly are the dream eaters ? Buckle up, this will be a multi - part analysis and we'll have to go in a sequence of steps.

Ok, recap of the basics first. Albert's dream therapy ability is basically some neuroscience - based technology that allows him to hijack people's brains for a while - that is how he is able to communicate with total strangers and influence his office environment, affect a monstrous appearance, give jumpscares and control his victims' fates in their dreams. It explains the bizarre, nightmarish feel of TWDAK.

Then what do the dream eaters do ? How are they made ? Let's go step - by - step into my explanation :

Albert very deliberately administers nightmares to his dream therapy candidates to select an 'army' for his grand plan to revive G2 district. Those who succumb to fear in the nightmare and blindly obey all his instructions perfectly as self - preservation essentially give up control of their fate. They let him decide their fate in their dream.

Now, dreams reflect a person's personality too - they are our memories and neural connections rehashed and mix - and - matched. Albert taps into a person's psychological wiring and instincts through the therapy.

Which means that the 'patients' who obey him out of pure fear are likely to be paranoid and passive when faced with unfamiliar dangers. Therefore, he can easily manipulate and control them using their fear. This could explain the dream eaters' lifeless, gloomy appearance and perpetual silence - it's like they're frozen in a constant state of fear. It's why they're perfect soldiers for his army- they won't rebel, and they are willing to 'eat' victims and follow orders to save their own selves.

You can't control a nightmare. Like any dream, it is formed by your random memories and instincts, random brain connections firing and combining. It's a situation where you're helpless to your psyche, to your subconscious. In Albert's therapy, it's a situation where you're helpless to HIM. How you react depends on your long - honed psyche, who you are deep down.

Think about your nightmares. To give my own example, I've had nightmares about being eaten alive by cannibals, being bombed, being unloved and alone, serial killers, my family and myself becoming evil and harming one another, etc. In some I remember fighting back. In others I was powerless and gave up.

Those like Taylor, who fight back despite being stuck in a horrifying situation they can't understand, show that they have a strong, hopeful outlook somewhere. They use logic as best as they can to do whatever they can. That's why they'll contribute to a G2 that has many pioneering, exceptional citizens.

Why do the dream eaters 'eat' victims ? Why are they 'hungry' ? Why do they need to 'eat' at all ? What happens to a victim who gets 'eaten' ? This is very meta - I think, since in the game everyone you get eaten Taylor urges you to try again and the game loops back, those who get 'eaten' get stuck in the nightmare. They're stuck until they either obey and become Albert's army members, or rebel and get spared. The purpose of dream eaters is to ensure the candidate can't escape till they prove their worth either way. That is Albert's plan for G2 - use the dream eaters to test people's worth, make them either useful to him as testers for other candidates, or leave the 'exceptional' ones be to hopefully improve G2.

What else do the dream eaters do besides acting as a test for candidates' worth ? Is it possible that Albert can do some Inception - style shit, influencing powerful people's decisions by implanting ideas into their psyche ? Is that how he plans to change G2 ?

Remember VTSOM ? Monsieur M's plan is to replace the 'inferior' human species with the much faster, smarter, stronger, modifiable cyborgs. That's his idea of improving life forms and the world. Whereas Albert's idea of improving G2 district is NOT by rejecting humanity but by finding and embracing its exceptional side. He taps into people's subconscious to find the brave, the fearless, those who can retain sense and logic under extreme stress. And that's why Albert dislikes M. M rejects humans totally, deriding them at many points in VTSOM. But Albert sees that humans can be pretty awesome, or atleast useful.

Now, the link between Albert and Vincent. Albert says that Vincent had great potential, but he saw him let it go to waste. Keep in mind the points above, and now remember - Vincent used to be someone who would rebel against society, accept loneliness because he wouldn't compromise on his principles and beliefs. He used to be brave. But then, he grew tired of loneliness. Which is all well and understandable to Albert, except that then Vincent, in his desire to belong and to be accepted at Myers, became a total slave to them. He committed atrocities he didn't want to commit, abandoned his principles and vision for change, because he was deathly scared of ending up alone and unsupported. He could've changed things, he had the aptitude and the attitude, but then he became just another brick in the wall of corporate selfishness. Another pawn for everything wrong with society. That's what Albert means when he says that Vincent wasted his potential. He gave into fear and lost himself. He had not a flight, not a fight, but a 'freeze' reaction to the threat of ostracision - blindly obey the very shady Monsieur M, hoping M would spare him because he licked his boots.

THIS IS MY ORIGINAL ANALYSIS / THEORY. DO NOT DARE TO COPY, REUPLOAD OR REPOST. REBLOGS ARE WELCOME.

[dat-town]

curse me out

never seen circus masterpost

Characters: cursed prince!Sunghoon & female reader

Setting & genre: magical realism au, fantasy au, reincarnation au

Summary: Many came to you over the years to get rid of their curses but nobody like Sunghoon.

Warnings: general creepiness of an eerie circus, ambiguous ending, blood, injury, implied past death, is a spoiler or a warning if i say it was inspired by enhypen concepts?

Words: 2k

i guess i will tag you in all of these @restlessmaknae 

Some curses were better off untouched.

It was one of the first things you learned, just like prophecies were always up to interpretations and Ouija boards were banned for a reason. The other side was not to play with.

But you had an eye for curses. You looked at them like they were complex riddles waiting for you to solve them. Every curse had a little back door, a tiny loophole and that was where you came in: for the right amount of money, you helped people find that hidden exit, you helped them get rid of whatever made them struggle. Be it a curse for terrible luck, no love or some sort of disfigurement. Some curses could only be undone by the shaman or witch who put them in place but you had many connections and you knew how to strike a deal. You got yourself your name when you joined the circus, you were called the cursebreaker as if it was something unique when in reality you were just a witch with a keen interest. One of your kind in the always on the move circus.

Some people didn’t even know they were cursed, they blamed things beyond their control on such silly things as fate or beat themselves up for not being able to change when there was nothing humans like them could have done. With those cases, it was you who seeked them out, drawn to their curse like a moth to flame. But sometimes people found you. They heard rumours about the disappearing circus and the cursebreaker inside. They were always desperate ones with dark curses.

But no darker than the boy’s who walked into your tent that day.

The bell chime made you look up from where you sat, meditating, and you felt air being sucked out of your lungs.

Oh, for hell’s sake, he was beautiful.

The boy was tall and wide shouldered. He had raven black hair contrasting against his clear, pale skin. His eyes were just as dark as his locks, highlighted by his all black outfit, his long coat swirling behind him from the outside wind blowing. Despite his youthful features, he held himself with ageless elegance like a prince. It gave his soft features sharpness and coldness to his demeanour.

You blinked when he took another step closer and his curse was suddenly all too clear in front of you. Most people’s curses clung to them like leeches but not his. His was pulsing, like a black heart, like it was keeping him alive. Like there was no him without the curse.

“I can’t help you,” you told him straight away, without any polite greeting. You shot up from your place, meditation long forgotten. You weren’t afraid of him but you didn’t want to experience his rage either when he found out why you refused to help him.

“What makes you think I came for your help?” Your guest raised an eyebrow challengingly while watching you equally intrigued but it only made you confused. Why else could he have come to your tent?

“Did you come to kill me then?” You asked, unwilling to show fear.

“No,” he flashed you a smile, his thin, rose coloured mouth tilted upwards in a lazy slope. It should have been dangerous yet it somehow made your heart flutter. “I heard you can see how curses unfolded, their maker.”

“You want to know who made you like this.”

It wasn’t a question, it made sense.

“I have waited for a long time to meet somebody like you,” the beautiful boy sighed, resigned, sounding much more tired than somebody who looked his age. But looks weren’t everything, you knew that.  “So tell me, were the rumours about you true or not?”

“Take a seat,” you pointed at a pillow on the ground as it was as good of an answer as any, then you followed in suit, sitting across from him after lighting some scented candles while he was looking around curiously.

From up close, he was even more beautiful, perfect porcelain skin and those enticing eyes but you knew better than to fall into his trap. It didn’t mean you were immune, not when he smelled like sandalwood and leather and something rich and sweet.

“Give me your hands,” you told him, extending your own hands, palms up, towards him. He did as you asked, his cold skin grazing yours sending a shiver down your spine. You closed your eyes and focused on the pulsating darkness around him.

“You are very old,” you blurted out at the first image slipping into your mind about castles and a different era. You could hear the not-so-boy laugh.

“Huh, I don’t hear that everyday. Didn’t you know that’s a rude thing to say?” He teased and you felt yourself blush. At least, with your eyes closed you didn’t see his expression when he noticed.

“You are a prince,” you whispered as you saw him wearing a crown, sitting on a throne, people bowing to him.

“I was,” he confirmed quietly.

Prince Sunghoon. He’d had a lavish life but he had lived in a turbulent era. His position and power had been threatened by not only neighbouring kingdoms but power hungry men of his own too.

And there had been a girl too. Not a princess but a commoner, a shaman’s daughter. You saw the two of them met in an alcove, her hiding him from traitor knights, her tending his open wounds. The curse felt familiar with her. You felt familiar with her.

Your eyes snapped open and even though your guest couldn’t know what exactly you saw, he looked at you knowingly. As if he expected this.

“I lied before,” he admitted slowly as if he was weighing his options, like he was afraid of your reaction. “Actually I waited for a long time to meet you.”

You gulped and pulled back your hands, briefly wondering whether you had enough time to retrieve a weapon even though the immortal being claimed that he didn’t want to kill you.

“Even if my ancestor did something to you, it has nothing to do with me,” you said, defensive, not sure what on earth this cursed prince wanted after centuries had passed.

“That depends,” he mused. “What exactly did she do?”

You remembered the blood from the vision. The black magic. The girl’s sacrifice. You felt justified to take her side, to displace the prince’s baseless anger. Surely he couldn’t have wanted to die instead of the life he had gotten.

“She saved your life. She died for you.”

Sunghoon’s pretty mouth twitched.

“My life was worth nothing without her,” he said, melancholic, and that was when you realised what he meant. He had loved her. He didn’t want to know what had happened because he was hungry for revenge but because he wanted to know whether his feelings had been reciprocated. After all these years though? You were surprised that he was so adamant.

“Make sure to remember it in this life,” the immortal prince told you but his words only left you confused once again. Why should you have remembered that?

“I… what?”

“You told me there would be other lives, chipmunk,” he smiled and his voice softened like expensive silk.

You were fairly sure that nobody had ever called you that and yet, the pet name brought up memories you didn’t even know you had buried inside you.

“Did you come to punish me, Your Highness?” You didn’t even bother looking up from your work table full of herbs, your mouth set in a small smile.

“Do I look like a tyrant, chipmunk?” The prince put a hand over his heart, feigning being scandalised. “Though maybe I should as you stole something very valuable from the kingdom.”

“Did I now?” You looked at him, amused, knowing very well that he would have never hurt you.

“Yes, my heart,” Sunghoon smiled as he whipped a single rose out of nowhere, holding it out for you.

It became a common affair: meeting the prince in secret but eventually it was bound to be found out.

“Father,” you yelped in surprise when you came face to face with your elder after saying goodbye to the boy who ruled your country. Your father looked at you with grave concern, so you were sure he knew.

“It won’t end well,” he warned and you didn’t need to ask to know what he meant.

Maybe you should have given his words more consideration. He was a shaman after all. But you were too taken by the boy with the most adorable moles you had ever seen to care about warning signs.

“Your Highness,” you gasped in horror when you saw Sunghoon at your threshold covered in blood.

“I… didn’t know where else to go,” the prince coughed up as he leaned his weight against you once you opened the gate wider and let him inside. It was scandalising to do such a thing so late at night but you didn’t care about neighbour gossip, not when Sunghoon was dying on you.

“What happened?”

“It was a trap. An ambush,” he forced out between gritted teeth, his beautiful face pained and you wondered how much of it was physical and how much due to the facts that he couldn’t trust in his allies anymore. He had doubted their loyalty before but the fact that he came to you instead the royal physician told a lot.

You laid him down, his skin already feverish and sweaty, blood dripping down on his pale neck. He was the heir to the throne and yet, he looked so fragile like that. You were familiar with your father’s shaman practices enough to know what he needed to be saved and you knew what the cost was but no price was too high to save him. So you gave him your life and many others. You gave him eternity.

“Sunghoon.”

His name rolled off your dry lips like a plea and familiar despite not even remembering a few moments ago. You stared at him in disbelief, your past self trying to keep herself atop of your conscious memories.

“We never stood a chance,” you told him because even if you had stayed alive, your love had been impossible. A prince and the shaman’s daughter? You had believed you had done him a favour.

“Like star crossed lovers, I know,” Sunghoon nodded and reached out, his pretty pianist fingers grazing against your arm, making you shiver once again, this time more pleasantly. “But what about now?”

“Now… I will die of old age one day and you won’t. Your curse can only be undone by death itself,” you told him, trying to keep level headed no matter how hard it was to think near him. Was immortality really a curse? It was, if you had to see your loved ones dying.

“Then let it take me too with you. I have lived long enough. I don’t want any more countless lives, I only want this life, with you,” he said and it was the closest thing to an I love you you have ever heard.

How could you have said no to that? Your job was to break curses after all even if his was your own making. Even if it cost both of your lives. Because you understood it, a simple life was better with him than forever without him.

“I guess, we have a lot to make up for before that, Your Highness,” you smiled and slid your fingers between his, something you would have never dared before in the positions you had been.

“I guess, we have,” Sunghoon smiled too as he brought your hand to his mouth and hinted a kiss over your knuckles, making you blush deeply, blood roses blooming on your cheeks.

Some curses were better off untouched.

And some curses took centuries to come full circle.

[tearwolfe]

I'll borrow a warrior cats book from the library and see how it is before buying a book.. shivers in fear, i did not know that..

yeah for sure do not buy them. there's also a bunch of free PDFs online you can read!! or check them out through libby or whatever online library service your local library uses if you don't mind reading from your phone.

gonna use this chance to highlight issues with warriors under the cut!! because i've spent so much time being with this series i have a lot of thoughts. i want to let you know i am not trying to cancel warriors or anything, there's just a lot of issues and i like talking about it.

CW: misogyny, pedophilia, ablism, racism

Okay, we're going to start with the more annoying aspects. First of all, Warriors is written by a ton of different people. They have the main writers outline the plot, and there's a bunch of other people that fill in all the empty space. Kind of an interesting way to do it, but that's why Warriors is able to publish several books a year. Erin Hunter is just a penname for a group.

INCONSISTENCIES

Why do I bring this up, what's the issue? The inconsistencies, dude. There's so many. Character appearances change between books. Dovewing's eye color changes frequently, for example, to the point where there was an internet war about how she would be represented on the Warriors Wiki. Another example is Mapleshade, a cat that's been prevalent as a villain since Crookedstar's Promise. In that book, she's referred to as a ginger-and-white she-cat, but after that she's been described as a calico (er, tortishelle-and-white, because Erin Hunter is somehow allergic to the word calico). Appearances aren't the only inconsistency. Character personalities are a big issue. After the first arc especially, characters will lose what charm they had in their personalities. Suddenly Spottedleaf is in love with Fireheart/star after she dies, suddenly Yellowfang is unwelcoming towards cats who find themselves breaking the Warrior Code (despite being a codebreaker herself and having compassion toward other cats while she was alive). The authors also seem to have trouble keeping track of characters. On one page Sandstorm leaves camp to go on patrol, and a paragraph later she is seen STILL in camp, talking to someone, despite having been written to leave camp. It's a very bizarre series to read. (Other inconsistencies include miswriting names [Ravepaw incident], using the wrong pronouns, and entirely confusing cats between each other). Heavystep also died a few times because the Erins forgot that he died.

MISOGYNY

Outside of poor writing, we're hit with misogyny. Main female characters, in POV, are written at least a little bit better than any of the other she-cats. However, as soon as the next arc starts and she's put out of the limelight, the authors have to give her a mate, give her kits, and make her a mother. There is only ONE POV she-cat I can think of that didn't die and never had kits. Twigbranch is literally the only one. This isn't a dig at being a mother at all, however whenever the Erins DO make a former main character a mother, that's the only trait they give them. Rarely do these she-cats continue to carry the personalities they were given initially.

It's not even a secret that the fandom dislikes when every she-cat is boiled down to being just a babymaker. The Erins literally killed off a she-cat because the fans didn't like the fact that her only personality trait was mom. Yes, this actually did happen.

There's lots of victim-blaming misogyny with whatever is going on between Squirrelflight and Bramblestar and between Leafpool and StarClan. Bramblestar will literally say the worst things to Squirrelflight and the narrative makes it seem like he's in the right. It's not wrong to display unhealthy relationships in media, but if you're writing a KID'S SERIES, it's extremely irresponsible to constantly write the victim as being wrong. This applies to how StarClan blames Leafpool for everything that's happened to her, despite the fact that Crowfeather was also a part of the equation.

Don't even get me started about Spottedleaf's Heart. In summary, Spottedleaf was groomed by Thisteclaw from when she was a kit (and he was a Warrior), and the narrative only makes Thistleclaw a bad guy because he was training in the Dark Forest, not because he is a predator.

ABLEISM

It's absolutely crazy how ableist this series is. In arc one, we have Brightpaw, an apprentice who gets mauled by dogs, and as Bluestar watched, as what she thought was going to be her death bed, she decided to give her her warrior name- a name that she would be stuck with in StarClan. She chose "Lostface." Brightpaw would eventually recover, loosing one of her eyes in the attack, and would live with being called Lostface until Firestar was able to rename her (to Brightheart). The whole renaming thing feels gross enough, but Brightheart is probably the best case scenario of ableism in Warriors, as she was allowed to function as a regular Warrior in the clan. Cinderpelt wasn't so lucky. She was a Warrior apprentice who got hit by a car, mangling her leg. She was then forced to become a Medicine Cat because she "couldn't hunt or fight" (despite the fact that real world cats are able to function completely normally while missing a limb). Longtail lost his vision in a fight with rabbits and he was retired early to the elder's den, despite wanting to be a Warrior. Jayfeather was blind, so he was made a Medicine Cat despite wanting to be a Warrior. Briarlight was paralyzed, so she was put in the Medicine Cat den most of the time despite wanting to be a Warrior. This is a very common theme in the series. Any cat who isn't fully able-bodied is often made to be a Medicine Cat or an Elder, even if that's not what they want. Literally every single Medicine Cat in ThunderClan since Spottedleaf through to Alderheart never wanted to be a Medicine Cat.

Being a Medicine Cat isn't supposed to be a bad role, but the way Warriors uses it as a cop-out to make disabled cats have a more "plot interesting" role without allowing them to be a Warrior is really weird.

ANTI-INDIGENOUS WRITING

I'm not the most knowledgeable person on this topic, however, many Indigenous readers have brought up a lot of issues the series has in terms of being culturally insensitive to native tribes. There's a well-written document that explains this in full detail.

IT'S KIND OF JUST BAD?

The writing isn't good. This goes back to the multi-writer issue. These people can't keep track of their characters or plot, so a lot of things just sort of fall flat. The best plotlines can be found in some of the novellas and graphic novels, and then I think it's because they're mostly written by one person.

How come StarClan can be so vague to living cats, but when we get POV in StarClan, they just act like normal cats? How come Ashfur randomly was super powerful in the Dark Forest/StarClan, while every other cat wasn't? There's just a lot of unexplained stuff, it's very weird.

Warriors is a very interesting series because it's pretty bad yet the fandom is huge. I definitely recommend watching Warriors Multi-Animator-Projects, reading fancomics, and fix-it fanfics instead of actually reading the books. The fans are so, so talented, it's crazy how a never-ending series of children's cat books has created such an insane fanbase.

[aplaceinthedark]

CONSUMED by the DARK

(a TOWERING MAN story)

Word Count: 2.9k+

CW: supernatural themes, religious sacrifice, body horror, animal cruelty, being buried alive

Pain. Fear. That’s all Noah could feel right now.

He clutched at his side, trying to staunch the blood flowing from the stab wound. Whatever cultists that stabbed him had thankfully not stabbed him deep enough. They had been aiming for the heart, but he twisted just in time.

“Noooo-ahhh!”

He whimpered at the sound of his name being called. He couldn't tell what direction it had come from. Whatever freaks they had out here were searching for him, and they were using his loved ones' voices. Some of them he hadn’t heard in years. Those he could care less about, but when he heard his best friends’ voice, crying out in pain for him, he wanted to curl up and wait until they found him, finishing him off for good.

That's when Noah stumbled face first into another tree, adding more blood to his body. He had entered the woods with a flashlight, but it was gone now. He was stumbling blindly, with no moon to guide him. Why did the gods decide to coincide the summer solstice with the new moon? Whose great idea was that?

Where was the end? How far into the woods was he?

“Noooo-AAAHH!”

God, they had to be close. He could barely run anymore. His fingers were ice cold despite the warm blood slipping between them. His foot caught a loose root, and he fell face down in the dirt. His cry of pain surely would alert them to his location.

Indeed, a low glow lit up the back of his eyelids as he lifted his head. Through bleary eyes, he could make out the dull red glow. Except it wasn’t a cultist standing before him.

Its pelt was black; blacker than the darkness surrounding the two. Noah was certain he would’ve been able to track it in complete darkness. The dull red glow, though, lit up the hollow, and he could see that it came from its antlers. He couldn’t count how many points the stag had, mainly because they seemed to twist and turn in on themselves. Like oak branches, he thought. 

Noah could only imagine what he looked like: covered in blood and dirt, leaves and sticks caught in his shoulder- length hair as well as his clothes. Despite the circumstances, he felt like he wasn’t worthy to be caught in the thing's presence. The stag dug at the ground with one of its massive hooves. Noah was tall, but this beast had to be more than twice his size.

Before Noah could contemplate any further, it spoke, not aloud, but in his mind:

CHILD OF THE VALLEY, WHY HAVE YOU COME TO MY COURT?

Noah flinched at the harsh tone. It was guttural, like a scream that came from the gut rather than the throat. He sputtered, unsure of how he even managed to get to that spot. He told the stag so, through chattering teeth as the coldness of the hollow finally caught up to him. 

The stag tilted its head, the glow of its antlers moving as if filled with liquid. Like blood. The movement almost seemed… human-like. It unsettled Noah even more.

I THINK YOU KNOW WHERE YOU TRULY ARE, NOAH SEBASTIAN DAVIS. YOUR KIND HAVE TOLD THE TALES OF THE WATCHER OF THE WOODS FOR A LONG, LONG TIME.

Noah flinched again at those words that sounded like a parent coldly scolding their child. To be honest, until recently, he never had believed in those tales of darkness roaming the Shenandoah Valley. Then, when what happened with the Folio kid happened, he started to believe it more and more.

“Please… please help me. I-I’ll do anything,” he pleaded, feeling a fresh spurt of blood despite his numb fingers. It wouldn’t be long now.

THERE WILL BE A PRICE.

“I… I don’t care. I- I’ll do any… thing.” He didn’t want to die here, alone in the woods. 

GIVE YOURSELF TO ME. BECOME THE INSTRUMENT OF MY WILL, AND I WILL FREE YOU FROM THE PAIN OF YOUR HUMANITY.

Noah could barely speak at that point, so he merely nodded. The Watcher made a sound, and the world went black. With one last steady breath, Noah spoke his final words:

“I think I've had enough… enough now.”

And that was how the young human, Noah Davis, died and became the Towering Man. 

The search parties were few. That didn’t surprise him. Ever since he and Nicholas were made to be the boys who cried wolf, the people in town were quick to make excuses for his disappearance. 

"He was a troubled boy.”

“He probably just ran away."

“Kids these days. He’s probably lying face down in a drain in the city right now.”

If he could feel anger, it would be at the woman who had claimed to love him. The woman who had turned out to be just like the rest of them. She was the reason for the state that he was in. She was the reason why he had died and sold his soul. After that, she only fueled the rumors that he had run away. Even with Nicholas trying his best to combat the rumors, it was only him against a town of five thousand.

Nicholas tried his best to keep the search parties going, but when you live in a town that values old superstitions over the life of a 21-year-old, it’s hard to do anything. Noah wanted to tell his friend that it was okay, to ease Nicholas’ pain and anxiety, but he was forced to watch as Nicholas continued to put up missing flyers and stay up late at night to wait for Noah to come home.

But after a few months, even Nicholas seemed to give up. His family convinced him to move to Richmond, and for a while Noah would only see Nicholas every once and while, when he would visit Granny. And Noah was forced to do nothing but watch from the treeline.

During the day, he would root himself near Granny Ruffilo’s home. He tried to resist the Watcher’s pull, even at night when he was demanded to collect the offerings left by the cult: mostly blood and wine. Except on the nights when the moon was darkest, then he couldn’t resist the voice inside his head.

Noah wanted to scream out whenever he would see Nicholas through one of the windows; scream at him that he was right there, outside of that window, just past the treeline. Except Nicholas wouldn’t be able to hear him, even if he could use his voice.

And Noah’s heart - or whatever counted as his heart now - turned black.

He watched Nicholas move on. Seasons passed, and so did Noah’s feelings. By the time June came back around, he had pretty much given himself over to the Watcher’s will. He accepted the fact that his best friend would no longer be saving him. 

The night before the summer solstice, Noah was summoned to the Watcher’s Grove. Some would joke that it could be a courtroom, except the Black Stag was too proud of itself to share its power. All it needed was its minions, which it was surrounded with now. 

THE TIME HAS COME, CHILD OF THE VALLEY. YOUR GOD DEMANDS ONE LAST THING OF YOU.

Noah thought he was being rewarded, being given his human body back. Like some kind of horrific Cinderella, he just needed to explain to Nicholas everything that had happened; that he had made a deal with the devil that he couldn’t take back. The Watcher knew that the first thing Noah would do was run to Nicholas, and he planned accordingly.

Noah should’ve realized his mistake. When he called for Nicholas, he should’ve realized it when he felt his bones shift in response. He should’ve realized it when he felt his body stretch and grown when Nicholas came out into the woods. It wasn’t until Nicholas’ face twisted in fear did Noah realize the Watcher’s plan.

Nicholas was to be the Watcher’s next Vessel, and Noah was to bring him to the Watcher.

Except the Watcher had underestimated Nicholas. See, it turned out Nicholas was a part of an old bloodline of Practitioners. Usually, it passed down onto the women, skipping a generation if need be. For some reason, instead of picking his sister, the practice chose him. It did so not long before this incident, so Nicholas was still learning the extent of what he could and could not do.

So when Noah reached out for him with a thorny hand, Nicholas accidentally blew him apart. But Noah had died in the Shenandoah Valley, where dead things don’t stay dead.

Nicholas crafted a body made of sticks, leaves and mud, and bound Noah to it. It nearly killed both of them. It wasn’t the best; Nicholas had just learned how to manage his practice, after all. Noah had a body again, and this one wasn’t under the control of the Watcher’s will.

And he would use it to his advantage.

“I’m gonna fuck up that deer god.”

Their plan wasn’t perfect at all. Nicholas was going to pretend to be captured, the perfect Vessel to be sacrificed. That way, hopefully they would have the element of surprise.

Which of course, wasn’t how it happened. Leave it to him to underestimate how good the Watcher was at reading minds.

YOU THINK YOU CAN STAND AGAINST A GOD?

the Watcher of the Woods asked. The cultists stood around them in a circle, not getting too close, but ready to jump in at a moment’s notice.

YOU, A SCARED LITTLE BOY AND HIS LITTLE WITCH, AGAINST SOMETHING OLDER THAN THE DIRT YOU STAND UPON? OLDER THAN THE STICKS IN YOUR BODIES THAT YOU CALL BONES?

Was Noah scared? Absolutely, even though he couldn’t really feel it. But for once, he didn’t let his fear show, like he did when he faced the Watcher the first time,  a year and a day ago in this same grove.

This time he was ready.

With Nicholas helping him, his concentration divided between bolding off the Cultists with a warding barrier and aiding Noah, Noah found he was evenly matched with the Black Stag. He had learned the deity's tricks over the past year, and could counteract them easily. Noah acted as an almost perfect counterbalance to the darkness: whenever the Watcher would throw decayed dirt edged with frost that was colder than the universe, Noah would ruin it with life and nature and warmth.

The Watcher of the Woods even tried to take Nicholas out of the equation with a malediction, but Noah wouldn't let it. With a roar that could shake mountains, Noah charged forward and grabbed onto the Stag's twisted antlers. Under his grip, they were bitterly cold, almost turning his fingers instantly blue. The stag tried to rear back to shake off Noah, but he only tightened his grip until his knuckles cracked.

“After all that you've put me through? After all the hell you created for these hollow souls? After all the lives you've torn apart for your sick enjoyment? You think for one second, I'll let you destroy one more? You think that this makes you a god?”

Noah's eyes flared green, lighting up the darkness in his eyes, as with a loud growl, he spoke: 

IF THERE'S A GOD, IT'S FUCKING ME!

And with a twist, Noah tore off the crown of bloody bones with a mighty crack. At first, he thought the sound had come from his body, but when the red in his vision faded, he saw the head of the Black Stay on the ground, separated from its body.

There were numerous cries of disbelief around him. Some might have tried to attack him, but with one look, they stopped. Noah held up the antlers that were still in his hands.

DON'T EVER COME BACK, YOU HEAR ME? IF I FIND OUT YOU EVEN TRY TO START THIS SHIT AGAIN, I WILL COME AFTER ALL OF YOU! YOUR FAMILIES TOO, IF I HAVE TO!

And they scattered like roaches.

Noah and Nicholas stood in the grove, alone and quiet. The corpse of the Black Stag had decayed fast; even the bones and antlers had rotted away. Noah shook his hands until the decay was gone. All that was left was the skin of his palms had been burned black. 

“Now what?" Nicholas said, breaking the silence.

“I don't know. I don't feel any–”

There was a sudden shifting beneath Noah. He looked down in surprise to see that the ground had swallowed his feet. He was sinking.

And with one last raspy chuckle, he heard the Black Stag mutter in his mind:

THERE MUST ALWAYS BE SOMETHING TO WATCH OVER THE WOODS.

Nicholas tried to pull him free, but when Noah was up to his waist in the ground, he pushed Nicholas away. “But I just found you!” Nicholas cried.

“Don't worry, I'll be back. Just listen for your name.”

And the earth swallowed Noah up, and darkness claimed him once again. 

He felt the suffocating weight of the ground pressing on him from all sides, the darkness so absolute he didn't know which way was up or down. A weird feeling spread through him, like a panic attack but… absent. Like he should be having one, but it wouldn't come. 

That's when he realized his eyes were closed, but when he opened them, he was faced with something much worse. 

Something fell into his eyes, and when he opened his mouth to scream, it fell in there too. The taste gave him his answer to where he was.

Dirt. He was buried underground.

Still, he didn't feel panic. He struggled against the dirt, trying to claw his way free, but his limbs were numb and weak from disuse. There was no way he was going to get out of this without some help.

Naturally, he called for the person who would help him without question.

NICHOLAS.

He felt ridiculous. How was Nicholas gonna hear him? How did he even get buried in the first place? 

There was no time for questions or memories. He had to dig himself out somehow.

He willed his arms to move, his legs to kick. Either he was so weak, or buried so deep, he couldn't move a muscle. He tried to remember what he was taught about being buried alive. Don't use a lighter; breathe short little gasps to prolong the air. That was if he was buried in a box, though, and he didn't need to worry about breathing. He hadn't needed to for a long time. 

He didn’t know how long he was there, buried deep beneath, barely moving despite his mind shouting at his limbs to just move already! He had almost given up when he felt the earth shift somewhere near his head. Were those voices?

It sounded like great amounts of dirt were being thrown around, like when a dog digs for a bone. It stopped for a moment, a new voice joining whoever was above. Then the digging continued, but with the rhythm of what might be a shovel.

When the weight got lighter, Noah used the last of his strength to move his arm. Without the weight of the dirt pressing down on him, his hand burst up from the ground. There was a shout, and suddenly two pairs of hands grabbed onto his arm and pulled him free.

“I came as soon as I heard your call. In my head,” Nicholas said.

The other two, Joakim and Nick, had heard it too. If there were others like them, they didn’t show. But Noah didn’t care. These were his friends now.

This was the Circle of Omens and Thorns.

And that’s how Noah Sebastian became the new Watcher of the Woods, the King of the Shenandoah Valley.

Something was wrong with the woods, and it was driving Noah crazy.

As he peers over the top of the mountains from his perch on Stony Man Mountain, he feels the Appalachian Spring air sweep through the trees, barely ruffling his long hair. He mindlessly twirls a braid around his finger, thumb rolling a bead around as an anxious tic. A chill runs down his spine, and he knows it’s not because of the wind. The Spring season up here is a lot like a joke; he’s seen wildflowers poking through big heaps of snow before. That wasn’t stopping him from shedding his shirt, like now.

He likes to come up here, despite it being a popular stop on a hiking trail. At night, no one will bother him; not even Folio. He knows that when Noah goes up Stony Man, he doesn’t want to be disturbed.

Except he’s still disturbed, just in a different way.

He lays back on the ground and closes his eyes, taking a deep breath as he curls his fingers through the dirt and grass. He grounds himself to expand his consciousness through the Valley.

He can feel the way the trees seem to curl in on themselves, like an old man wrapping his coat tighter around him as he trudged on through the bustling air. His skin crawls as he feels roots wind their way through the soil, touching something so foul it fills his throat with black mud and he gags, but can’t move. The black mud chokes him, whispering in a familiar voice that promises nothing but venom and sweet lies. 

He wrenches from his reverie, coughing and spitting despite nothing is in his mouth other than cold air and saliva. 

Something has returned to the Valley. Something dark, and something… black.

[machiot]

@ruinakete sent:

MAGE DRAGON HAD DREAMED OF ITS THIRD HOUND BEFORE SHE SHOWED FACE. how cruel of an ability memory was. never had it remembered a glimpse of its night terrors until then; grasping at its stomach, fisting the fabric of its nightdress between its claws, watching the ceiling with an unwavering stare. the same gaze it held to the back of another's head; just as incredulous, just as horrified.

"yes ma'am, the girl went down there. blonde hair, pretty smile, carrying a weapon. yes ma'am, that's the girl, alright!"

ghosts had not haunted them, not in the many occasions that led its gaze to meet that of a past identity. so, no, when zephia recognized the curls of blonde, able to practically feel the tresses it once delicately touched and combed, the weight in its chest was not denial.

to feel guilt would mean that it regretted the hand that drove a blade through a daughter's stomach. but it could not wield guilt against an action it would commit, time and time again if she forced its hand.

and marni was not its daughter.

still, zephia approached her, strides light and countenance absent of malice, as if it was anything but the beast it revealed itself to be. swiftly, it closed the distance between them, of the alley's dirt path and stray grass. claws sharp, fangs bared, the mage dragon nearly trembled at the sight of marni's back, the obliviousness of her wonder in the world. or perhaps, her curiosity about what allowed her to breathe once more. but, no matter, as whatever blessing she once had would cease to exist when this dragon, once again, ran her through with its blade.

( because knowing that she was alive would be enough to bring tears into its eyes. tears that it never once shed, not in life or death, not that it can remember. what more could it do than simply eradicate the feeling from its very root? stop the chance of her betraying it again despite the urge to forgive and forgive and remember?

no, marni had served her purpose and shown her hand of loyalty. if she were to see lady veyle again, then zephia would be condemned, once again, to face her ire. and it refused this. )

"marni?" it spoke, breathless but not surprised; as if simply tearing the name from its throat hurt it, "is it you? are you... this isn't a trick of the mind, right? you stand before me, alive, yes?"

it swayed on otherwise reliant feet, uncomfortably unfaltering in its stare and smile. its sword weighed heavy at its hip, almost thrumming with the intangible hunger of a starving corpse. and, when its third hound turned to face it, mage dragon lunged.

Since coming to this strange and foreign land, Marni had spent many a sleepless night paranoid that Zephia would find her and finish the job. Dread that those purple eyes would look down at her and she would be too paralyzed to do anything but meekly accept her fate.

"Don't worry," the people down here had tried to soothe her, "people come here to make themselves hard to find. If you don't want don't want to be found, you won't."

But those bastards had sold her out at the first opportunity...!

Her heart ached, unforgivably so, at the sound of the mage dragon's voice. At the same time, though, her stomach dropped and adrenaline pounded through her veins. Fear and longing churned together uncomfortably to create this nameless feeling threatening to strangle her.

"Z-Zephia?"

(I missed you. Did you miss me, too?)

She would have forgiven it all. She would have happily gone to stand by her side again if Zephia had looked upon her and told her that she did well for surviving. She hated being punished, but she could accept it all if it meant being forgiven.

But a Hound never forgives a traitor, because, you see, a Hound that bites once will bite again.

Maybe it only made sense that Zephia would try to de-fang her, then. Misbehavior could only be tolerated up to a certain degree before it became unforgivable. The sword that lunged at her now was only there because she had rebelled in the first place.

But because Marni had bared her fangs once before, she bared them again.

They had all scoffed at her insistence on keeping a weapon with her at all times, but the sword clanged against the haft of her axe, hastily thrown up defensively. The vibration of the impact traveled down her arms all the way down to her core and Marni winced.

"Why?" No one would come help even if the girl screamed, but she did so anyway. "Why can't you just leave me alone, Zephia?!"

[socially-awkward-skeleton]

3, 8, 10, 15 for Rory x Price 💕

thank you so much cayman!! tagging @kyber-infinitygems since you also asked for 8 and 10 :)

3) By contrast, what was the moment that first made their ~heart~ Soft for the other person? Not necessarily a conscious realization of “I love this person,” but a moment that had them like “Oh...I adore them...”

For Rory the big moment of "Oh...I think I'm soft" really comes in the scenes I've shared during WIP Wed with the tending to wounds scene. It's the first real moment of vulnerability from the both of them, finally letting down the whole "I'm a tough soldier and a hard ass" facade and for her to get to see that more tender side to Price basically breaks down a lot of the barriers for her. It's no longer just lust, it's something more.

For Price, it's definitely after (spoilers) he's heard her fighting for her life over comms, expecting to have to save her and instead finding her standing there as the victor. It makes his little heart go pitter-patter knowing that beneath the soft exterior of her there's the soldier willing to do whatever just like him.

8) What do they think about romantic love? Do they have baggage surrounding it? Do they idealize it? Is it an object of longing and wanting, or were they really not thinking about it until they started falling for the other character? What are their expectations like?

Rory is deathly afraid of romantic love, after witnessing her parent's divorce as a child, having her father leave Canada and return to the UK resulting in her mother having to raise her alone, she's got a lot of baggage surrounding that part of her past (lots of abandonment issues) and it generally makes her push the whole idea of a full fledged romance out of her head, instead focusing all of her energy on her career giving her yet more excuses for why she can't make relationships work. Relationships and romance were something Rory often didn't put much thought into, preferring casual dalliances while on leave, the thought of even having something more than that only started to happen once Price sorta dropped into her lap and despite them being different people from when they last met, they seemed to fit each other even better. She doesn't really know what to expect, especially since their romance has to be kept a secret from the brass, so for a long time she doesn't really expect it to even last.

Price has never had much time for romantic love, jumping from one fight into another, it was easier to keep himself from being tied down so he was able to hop on the next blackhawk and head off into another warzone. It also meant he didn't have to worry about someone left at home to worry about him, giving him even more to think about while trying to lead and keep his soldiers alive. In his heart of hearts, John absolutely would love to get married and have kids (he's got that dad energy lol) but I think he's also given himself over to the idea that it will never happen and it's probably easier to just stay married to his job. So when Rory appears he's thrown for a bit of a loop, especially knowing that in the grand scheme he really shouldn't be feeling feelings for her because it could basically be a career ender for him, and yet...

10) What scares them about entering a relationship?

Rory's greatest fear about entering a relationship is becoming attached to someone and then having them leave her. She has suffered a lot of loss in her life and she's not sure how much more she can handle. She also fears opening up, there's a lot about her past in the military that she can't share with most people (not just because it's classified, but also, because well...it's not exactly easy to bring up the fact that you've helped take part in CIA coups and assassinations, and torturing/interrogations)

With Price his big fear is having his relationship affect his work. He can't afford to be thinking about his SO when he's knee deep in the shit and lives are depending on him. With Rory specifically, there is of course also the fear of just straight up losing his job due to fraternizing with a subordinate which of course leads to them maintaining their secret (yet no so secret amongst friends/confidantes) relationship despite the fact that they both would like to have more. There's also the fact that he too struggles to actually open up regarding the things he's seen and done in his career (let's be honest this man has done some war criminal level stuff) so with most previous relationships he's had to keep his partners at arm's length in that way

15) What, for them, constitutes a level of intimacy that they would only rarely share with someone? This can be physical, emotional, etc.

For the both of them it's very much letting anyone get close enough to actually see the real soft side of them. They both very much function in a world where they have to put on the face of being the hard ass soldier, that the things they do have no effect on them, even if they think they're doing it for the right reasons.

Price has rare moments of real tenderness and vulnerability, where the soldier slips away and instead it's just the man underneath, the one who has nightmares and feels the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Rory is like peeling an onion, she has layers upon layers, a soft face she uses normally (friendly, inviting, and good natured), then there's the stoic soldier ready to do whatever is needed, and under that are the parts of her that are bruised and broken. She does a very good job of protecting her heart and head, and so to open up and share her fears and trauma with anyone is the greatest form of trust and intimacy she can possibly show to anyone.

[picnokinesis]

What angsty topic/scenario would you think is interesting to put Campervan!Thirteen into?

I am SO sorry it's taken me a hot minute to reply to this one - I was on holiday in Wales and walked a looooong way and ended up very tired rip me (it was great though!!). But I have been thinking about this and HMMM

In general, when I come up with angsty scenarios, a lot of what I'm thinking about is like...'what would be worst for this character in particular' - trying to tap into their specific fears, that sort of thing. I always like to give characters a particular fear, be it something very specific and tangible or more vague and general (or both at the same time!), and then at some point in the story, I'm going to want them to face that fear, OR make that fear drive them to do something they wouldn't normally do otherwise, or maybe make them cause problems for themselves and the plot in some other way. And I also want to know what the ROOT of that fear is, and dig into that too. For example, I've got a character rattling around in my brain for an original script concept, who can see the future and has a maaaaassive complex about not being believed, because as a kid everyone thought their 'visions' were some kind of psychological disorder. Which drives them, as an adult, to collect evidence for EVERYTHING - which is great for their job, which is an investigative role, but less so for their relationships lmao. But their fear is not just in not being believed, or being considered insane (though that is definitely a thing), but also not being able to act on the things that they see and make things happen differently. They have this gift and they're terrified of the possibility that they can see something horrific and not be able to do ANYTHING about it, because the future is already written (or is it? I don't actually know lol) - making the whole thing futile. It's a little existential haha

ANYWAY. All of that to say - with the Doctor in campervan au, there are a few things that she's really terrified of at the moment:

Losing the people she cares about (and her fault in that) - as you know from the series, she is VERY aware of the danger that she actively puts herself and other people in, and the fact that she always seems to come out of these situations alive and relatively untouched, whereas her friends get killed or injured or whatever. Half of her fear of vulnerability and her attempt to keep her distance from everyone comes from this - because if she leaves before anything bad happens, it'll hurt less (and she believes the hurt is inevitable at some point, due to her lifestyle - and, to be fair, she isn't completely wrong lol). But she is also desperately lonely and desperately wants to BELONG, which is why she clings on despite that. One of her biggest fears at the moment is that she's going to get Graham, Yaz, Ryan and/or Grace killed.

Her past and all the things she doesn't remember - basically everything that Koschei embodies - that void in the back of her mind, where she DOES NOT KNOW what used to be there. The fact that Koschei is, well, the way that he is, but also that part of her RECOGNISES THAT, but has no real memory of that (until the end of part 6 ofc, where things are starting to creep in) is terrifying. In part 6, you see the existential crisis that she's having about the whole thing. If a man is the sum of his memories, what does it mean if he loses them? Is it possible to have two separate lives, one before the amnesia, and one after? What happens when the wounds of the past bleed into the present?

Fear of vulnerability - touched on this already, but there's another element to this, because fundamentally the Doctor believes that if she's completely open and honest about things that are hurting and scaring her, then there will be awful consequences. This is an irrational and subconscious fear that runs so deep, it kicked in even when she had no memories at all. If you've read the extra oneshot with Bill, you might find it interesting to note that Bill is probably the first/only person she BEGAN to open up to about things, whilst sitting on that bathroom floor - but then Bill died. Horrifically. And, again, irrationally, it only solidified this fear of vulnerability linking with bad things that happen around her that the Doctor already had. There are other reasons that she feels this way, but obviously that's spoiler territory

Lack of control - this is a big one too, but literally so much about what the Doctor (and Koschei, DEFINITELY Koschei) does is about trying to have a sense of control over things, because feeling like she has no control over what's happening to her is so terrifying to her. She's also desperate to FIX things as a solution, and the idea of not being able to fix something is also horrible to her. Again, there are reasons for all of this!

So then, an angsty scenario that I would find interesting would invoke either one or several of these - and not necessarily head on, either. It's more emotional, and these various things bleed in everywhere, into everything that she does and every decision that she makes. That said, I definitely do explore some of these things in a more literal way - Ziptie AU is like, 'campervan, but make it worse' HAHAH because it starts off with Koschei not giving the fam that keycard at the end, which means that they never escape the lab and thus die in the explosion (number 1, check). But ALSO, the Doctor is captured by the Judoon and co along with Koschei by the end of that night, and ends up being locked up in a lot of rooms and having all her choices stripped from her (number 4, check) - and then, even when she DOES escape, she's ziptied to Koschei and I take great pains to ensure that the plot prevents them from getting access to scissors for at least 24 hours, and even THEN they're still tied together in a more emotional sense, and so she's forced to face him and all that he represents (number 2, check), aaaaaaaaand then she has to deal with being in this awful situation and, eventually, other people coming in and trying to HELP but actually they're making it worse for reasons she can't really explain without sounding NUTS, and it all circles around Koschei, the guy who killed her unofficially adoptive family, who she also can't bear to be a part from because of, well, everything. So, if you squint, that's number 3.

And then, of course, a LOT of this stuff is going to come into part 7 too, when I can finally get my butt into gear and write it. But, for me, the angstiest stuff is going to come in parts 8 and 9 - where she gets the truth of the past revealed to her, and then has to deal with the consequences. One of the true tragedies of this story is that she is never going to magically get all of her memories back, and there is a HUGE AMOUNT of her childhood friendship with Koschei - something that he's defined his entire life of - that she is just never going to remember. There's this uncrossable void between them, and there are things that will never be resolved because they just can't be. No one has the information anymore. On the flip side, in anterograde au, the Doctor COULD have these conversations and actually heal from what happened........only, she can never remember that she had the conversation in the first place. Time heals, but she can't feel time anymore. She's always going to be scared and out of control. (Only, actually, in the end she learns that it's less about her keeping control over EVERYTHING, and more about feeling safe, and clawing back as much independence as she can whilst being able to lean on others and have a support network. And THAT is something that she can and does achieve). It's interesting, I think, because all of these stories dig into the same fears, but in different ways - ziptie is hard feral angst, rancid and bloody, whereas anterograde is softer but still hurts a lot. With campervan au, I'm sort of aiming for somewhere in between those extremes.

[zorkaya-moved]

“ you’re scared. i can tell. the shaking, the look in your eye… you want to run. don’t. you’ll waste precious time and energy, and you’ll need it all if you want to live. ” // and one from cilius !

@volfinas

Is it fear or dread? Is this the sensation of knowing that your freedom will finally be cut short and there is nothing you can do? The voice of her creator is melodic, oddly so. It’s always been a pleasant memory mixed with distaste for everything that voice would be able to make her do. To kneel, to sit, to be quiet, to do what is needed, to calculate, to deduct, to give an honest opinion, to kill, to execute, to drag back, to make another obey. Anything and everything will be done to ensure the creator’s wish has been fulfilled and his legacy continues on. It does not matter if she wants it or not, she was created to serve and to obey the only one being in this universe. 

A being who was supposed to be dead. A being who was supposed to have turned into ashes and bones. A being who was not supposed to be here and who was not supposed to remain alive, breathing, and speaking. 

Perhaps, it is fear she experienced in that moment. The shortness of breathe, the gut wrenching understanding of her wings clipped, the return of the role of a tool. Morael swallows thickly, immediately reigning those emotions back to take them under control. Of course, emotions are useless when it comes to speaking and interacting with her creator. He does not care for the emotional output, he cared about results and his wishes. Selfish, self-serving, and stubborn. How similar his own creations were to him, weren’t they? Bitter, broken, and shattered to pieces to satisfy his goals and follow through whatever he wished. 

“There is no need to run away from someone who can order for you to come back in the same breathe he can tell you to kill yourself,” the silverette speaks calmly, lacking any true poison despite the dread washing over her. Her smile is picture perfect, but it lacks any and all emotions. “I am aware that my success rate of escaping from you is zero.”

Lucifer should’ve burned and crushed that cursed body of a man who will never be responded to. Morael was an observer, watcher, and a servant. What she was told not to say she would not. Only Lucilius had such power over her, but words spoken by him now? It’s more than he usually spoke. It’s almost making her laugh. He’s so talkative now that he’s back. 

Did death unlock something in him she never wished to hear? The sensation of fear slips away, apathy taking over once again as she understands that there is simply no escape. And thus, she does not bite back nor rebel. There is simply no need. It’s not going to yield any favorable results. Her deduction is flawless as always, before her creator she has to be pragmatic, vigilant and rational. He will not allow for failures. She is the one who deals with failures and who gets her hands dirty for his sake. 

He should’ve stayed dead. It would’ve been better for everyone. Including herself. 

“Welcome back, Master Lucilius.” It’s a shame you came back at all. “I hoped you won’t have to face this disappointing world once more.” And take away the last bits of hedonistic freedom I’ve enjoyed. “What are your orders? I am aware you despise wasting time... I’m listening.”

As I always did.

[solarrene]

On a brainrot, please ignore and just pass by. Can't stop thinking about how Aki and Himeno fit so much to Pray for me by The Weeknd. It is really just boggling my mind that this song literally circles between them. I'm so normal about this.

I'm always ready for a war again

Go down that road again

It's all the same

I'm always ready to take a life again

You know I'll ride again

It's all the same

Tell me who's gon' save me from myself

When this life is all I know

Tell me who's gon' save me from this hell.

Need I say more? Despite being kind as he is, as he can be, he still had murder and revenge on his mind—even when Kishibe believes that Aki can make his way to the gun devil because he's different from the rest, Himeno thought otherwise; to which can lead to his end as what Himeno fears when she became fond of him.

Then Himeno realized that and immediately tried to steer him the other way. She could have had quitted before but of course, she stayed because of him. She began to save him in her way, in what she can do because she know his ass will not listen!!

Her giving up of what she was asking of Aki then just staying to keep him alive.

Then comes this verse that suits to Himeno so well.

Who gon' pray for me?

Take my pain for me?

Save my soul for me?

'Cause I'm alone, you see

If I'm gon' die for you

If I'm gon' kill for you

Then I'll spill this blood for you.

In a way, I think the first verse fits to Himeno as well, living stagnant; just killing and whatever her job demands. Even when she was getting sick of it, she still didn't leave and continued as if to live another day. Then came Aki, changing that. He saved her from that. By being able to have a care for him, it abled her to look for that same care as well and maybe somehow she felt that from him. She found something to live for.

But of course, as much as she'd live for him, she'd also die for him to let him live. Laying down her life, without regrets knowing that he'd live and he'd cry for her, because that's one of the things she longed for.

Then came her death and Aki, finally realizing what was at stake, what he had then and what more he could have as time went on after her passing; Denji and Power.

Her death didn't just save him at that moment, it truly saved him.

[aikoiya]

Thoughts on Undertale

I've never liked Undertale's messages, because when you think about it, it comes across as being told "don't defend yourself against attackers," "just stand there & take the abuse as you try & reason with them," "don't even defend yourself from deadly force, even if it means you die," & "humans are evil & monsters are good even though the monsters are trying to kill you & take your literal soul to start a fucking war with humanity."

There's also the double standard of it all. The whole, "if YOU defend yourself against monsters who are trying to literally kill you & tear out your soul, then you're a horrible person, even more so if you kill them, even accidentally, but if the monsters attack you & legitimately try to kill you to take your soul & wage war upon other humans, then it's totally fine; they're just sweet, misunderstood softies." Fuck that!

For all Undertale's talk on pacifism. It only seems to apply to humans. No one talks badly about monsters when they're violent!

Sans is the worst, even though Toriel asked him to look out for Frisk, he took that to a literal degree & just watched, over & over again as Frisk was killed repeatedly & never once assissted them. He's an ass & a lot of the other characters are also asses in their own unique ways.

Even Toriel did something bad. All those kids? Yeah, they might not have died had Toriel escorted them out or, Hell, she could've told them that you can't get out without a monster soul. But, she didn't, she just let them go with false hope in their hearts.

The only one I think did alright is, ironically, Asgore, because he has the excuse that he was the literal king & knew that his people were running out of food & space, meaning they were on a timeclock. He also at least had the decency to regret the choices he made. You can feel it, see it, that he was sorry. Regret was pouring off of him. You know that he wouldn't have done this if he believed there was another way.

No one else who hurt Frisk ever seemed to have regretted their actions! Let alone apologize!

Alphys was, by far, the worst! Yeah! Yeah! Shy introverted bisexual lizard nerd! Whatever!

This isn't even about how she put Frisk in danger to prop herself up. This is about the Amalgamates! The Amalgamates are walking tragedies for multiple reasons.

Yes, it's tragic that those monsters are living in constant pain & that is awful. But at the very least they get attention. At least they get an apology! At least they're alive & can be with what remains of their families!

What pisses me the eff off is the fact that Alphys & Sans tortured & extracted the Determination from the literal souls of human children repeatedly & no one ever acknowledges it.

Add to the fact that it is confirmed that these souls have some degree of consciousness after death (as seen in the Flowey fight) & that paints a nasty fucking picture for the monsters' characters. Alphys & Sans specifically.

Yet, despite all this, the only thing Alphys apologizes for is hurting her fellow monsters, not for torturing the souls of children.

There's also the fact that the story of the Human-Monster War just does NOT make sense when you have all the information.

They would have us believe that their imprisonment was undeserved & that the humans just suddenly attacked for no reason. That humans are so much stronger & more durable than monsters (despite them all having magic & some even being able to supplex literal boulders).

At the same time, they say that the humans attacked fearing monster's ability to absorb human souls.

The question that bares answering is: How did either species learn that such an ability is possible if no monster had ever taken a human soul before?

You don't just wake up & say to yourself "I can absorb souls" & it turns out you're correct!

How do monsters know that this is possible if it'd never been done before??

Unless it had been done before & was, in fact, being done so often that it was well-known amongst humans. Which would mean that those humans' fears were entirely rational & warranted.

Not only that, but we also know that if a monster absorbs 7, then they gain godlike power. Which is confirmed. So, this means that monsters are also fully capable of becoming serial killers.

Made of love & compassion my left asscheek.

Hell, the fact that the monster race was IMPRISONED rather that systematically killed is actually VERY telling.

If the humans in-game were as evil & merciless as the monsters portrayed them as being, then there would BE no monsters left to argue about it because humanity would've executed them all upon winning the war.

Think about it; if you were evil & merciless & just won a war with someone who had the power to take your soul & use it to become powerful, WHY would you waste time & energy creating a giant magical prison to keep them in instead of just KILLING them? Unless, you don't plan on them being in there forever?

After all, many criminals are kept in prison until they either live out their sentence or learn to be a healthy member of society.

In fact, why are humans even able to enter the Barrier at all unless there's a specific reason, a specific outcome, that the mages wanted to occur? Like, for instance, what if the humans don't NEED to be dead? What if humanity expected the monsters to befriend 7 humans who would then all ban together to break the Barrier of their own accord?

In fact, why did the monsters just assume that the humans had to die in order to break the Barrier? We never really get a reason as to why.

What if the point was to prove that humans & monsters can live together in peace?

If anything, it's the monsters who are portrayed as genocidal for immediately jumping to violence in order to open the Barrier. "Destroy all humans" anyone?

I mean, why didn't they try imprisoning the humans first?

Random Stuff Masterlist

[twistedwonderlandsimps]

Yuu Rosehearts & Grim

Welcome to this hellhole. You didn’t ask for it but you’re going to get it anyway. I haven’t slept yet and I am purely running on caffeine. I also feel like fist fighting someone. Come meet me in the McDonald’s parking lot at 3 am if you’re up for it. Anyway, enjoy whatever this is because I currently don’t have the capacity to regret making it, lmaooo. :D

===

It wasn’t long after meeting Riddle that Yuu decided to meet up with Headmaster Crowley to look for employment in the campus. Although they could go back to their own home, they decided wanting to stay in the Sage’s Island for now since they were quite unwilling to part with their younger brother. They wanted to bond with Riddle a bit more.

Their younger brother…

A soft smile made its way up on Yuu's face, their chest feeling warm and a rising sense of contentment overtaking their mind as they took the newest batch of pastry out of the oven and into the counter to let it cool. Grim, who had just recently arrived, perked up when he saw this and jumped onto said counter to try and swipe a slice of tart away. Of course Yuu, being familiar with their companion’s antics, immediately gently pushed his paw away.

“Fgna! What gives, Yuu!” Grim grumbled lightheartedly, looking hungrily at the tarts. He had to bat away Yuu’s hand when it rested on his head as Yuu said, “Yuu can’t have it, Grim. Those are for sale.”

Just then, one of the ghosts who worked in the cafeteria popped in the kitchen with a loud and cheerful greeting: "Mx. Rosehearts! Your tarts are selling faster than expected! The students love it! Is the next batch ready?" The ghost said as it approached closer and looked at the steaming tarts. They took in a deep breath and hummed pleasantly. "Mmm! It already looks wonderful! I’m sure it’s going to be as delicious as it looks."

That's right. Yuu got a job in the school cafeteria. They mostly made and sold pastries and desserts, though, rather than cooking the meals. It was their area of expertise, after all.

Yuu blinked in surprise when they heard this before a reddish hue dusted their cheeks as they registered what the ghost said to them. "T-They like it?”

Grim rolled his eyes at them, albeit teasingly. This action didn’t go unnoticed by Yuu who scowled, but their ears were flushed. “Oh! W-Well, of course they do! I only learnt from the b-best, after all! Mr. and Mrs. Clover's bakery were really popular back… um… at my previous hometown, you know. If it hadn’t been for them…" Yuu trailed off, mumbling. 

Yuu felt indebted to the Clover couple. It was because of them that Yuu had survived all these years and got to where they were right now. Running away with nothing in their name but the clothes on their back and a bag that could only hold so much of the things that they needed to survive hadn’t been easy for them.

Yuu had to constantly worry about where to find shelter, when they were going to eat their next meal, or find a source of clean water. Oftentimes, they would even have to go for days on end not being able to eat anything. It was always a risk, a gamble, of whether they were going to succumb today or live on for another day. The only thing that kept them going in their darkest times was the thought and the fear that accompanied it of leaving Grim alone. The world wasn't kind to monsters and Yuu would be damned if they left their first and only friend alone in such a cruel world.

Yuu had found Grim when they were hiking through the mountain, trying to find berries or fruits that were fit for human consumption. That was the time when they noticed a creature that was tucked away beneath a tall, towering tree. It looked like it was trying to hide itself against it.

Grim was severely injured at that time and was extremely hostile, heckles raised and hissing threateningly at Yuu. Despite the threat of being roasted alive by the unknown creature, for some reason Yuu had felt a connection with it. Perhaps it was a feeling of kinship? Or was it sympathy? They didn't know why but what they did know was that they couldn't just leave the creature out here all alone.

Even though Yuu had almost nothing with them aside from their rapidly decreasing food supply, they still gave most of it to Grim. He needed it more to grow healthier and stronger, as well as recover from his injuries, after all.

From that day on, the two were practically inseparable.

Yuu and Grim had strayed from place to place, never stopping and always finding ways to survive despite their circumstances. Most of the time they had to stay in the woods. With Grim being a monster and Yuu looking disheveled and dirty, most of the towns and cities they came across to would just either chase them away or immediately throw them out.

They had no choice but to live and try to survive in the wilderness. Since Grim was a monster, his stomach was tougher than humans so he could eat a lot of things that humans couldn’t and be full enough to not feel the pains of hunger. Yuu didn't have the same luxury, though, so they usually just had to grit their teeth and try to sleep it off.

When the hunger pangs was too much to bear and Grim noticed it (and he always did), the cat-like creature would temporarily disappear before returning to their makeshift home with a pitiful amount of food held between his maws. This usually accompanied an injury or injuries somewhere on his body.

Yuu knew that Grim stole the foods from nearby towns but they never said anything bad about this. They never condemned or get mad at him for stealing, or worry about what the people would think of them. Yuu was only worried about Grim…

"...Y-Y-You don't have to r-risk your life to get this for me, y-you know." Yuu would whisper, stuttering their words no matter how much they tried to stop it, trying to bandage Grim's injuries with what limited amount of first aid supplies they had with them while trying to stop their tears from flowing by how battered and beaten their one and only friend was. "Promise me you won't—you won’t do this a-again... Please… p-please…"

Grim would always promise Yuu to never get himself injured.

…

He was a liar…

… He always broke his promise…

Fortunately for them, things started to look up when they stumbled upon a bakery in a small town faraway that was on the verge of closing down and landed themselves a job as a baker after the last one quit due to the lack of customers. Their boss was a kind soul who didn’t care that Grim was a monster or that Yuu looked disheveled and unkempt.

Soon, the bakery slowly but surely started to attract more and more customers as the days passed that Yuu and Grim could finally sustain themselves. Grim even became the bakery's beloved mascot and the people absolutely loved him.

Yuu was grateful to their boss for their kindness, as well as to the Clover family for teaching them. Even at the cost of potentially getting into trouble with Mrs. Rosehearts had she ever found about Yuu learning these 'unnecessary things', the couple still secretly taught them how to bake and would even give them treats to cheer them up whenever they feel down.

"Yuu?" A very familiar voice sounded out, snapping Yuu out of their thoughts as Grim shoved his face in front of them.

"I—W-What--?" Yuu stuttered out, startled.

"The tarts already cooled off. Are you going to sell it or can I have all of it?" Grim eyed the tarts with a greedy expression on his face. Yuu shook their head in a doting manner at Grim who was practically drooling, before they picked up the trays and handed it over to ghost staff that took it gratefully and left.

"Hey!" Grim grumbled again, a dejected look on their face. “You’ve been baking all these tarts since earlier and you won’t even give me a bite. This is so unfair...” Yuu couldn't help but laugh at his expression.

"Hmm... Well, how about this," Yuu pretended to think, placing a hand under their chin as if contemplating. "Ah! I know! I'll bake a whole tart just for you, the great Grim!"

Grim paused for a moment, blinking, before his eyes twinkled. He perked up, “Woah! A whole tart?! Just for me?” He paused. “Wait, I have to do something first, right? What do I have to do in return?”

Yuu laughed at Grim's sharp intuition. He really knew them too well. They reached in their pocket and pulled out a small list, saying: "We're, uh, running out of ingredients unfortunately, so I'd appreciate it if you can head over to Sam’s real quickly."

Grim sighed, "Fggnaa... chores..." But he took the list anyway. "Can I have two whole tarts, then?"

"No, you only get one."

"But Yuuuu! I'm hungry!"

"Hmm... Well, you can have one whole tart then and a can of tuna from Sam."

"!!! Can I have five--"

"Two tuna cans, at most. You're going to give yourself indigestion."

"Bah!" Grim pouted but he quickly went back to his normal, cheerful self at the thought of eating not just two tuna cans but also a whole tart! Just for him and no one else’s!

He jumped down the counter with the grocery list and headed towards the exit, shouting: "I'll be back soon so make me the biggest and tastiest tart, alright Yuu?"

“Yes, yes…” Yuu chuckled. They stared at Grim’s figure until he was completely gone from their sight before Yuu went over to one of the ovens in the kitchen to take out a tart that was significantly much bigger than the other ones they made earlier. Grim may be small but he sure could eat a lot. Yuu wondered where all the food he ate go.

One of the ghost chefs poked their head in by the doorway and their eyes immediately landed on the tart. "Oh, so fast? And just in time, too! The tarts just sold out!" The ghost exclaimed but Yuu was quick to wave their hands.

"Ah, I'm sorry but, um, this one isn't for sale. I h-had to have Grim get me more ingredients from Sam. I'm afraid the customers will have to wait a- a little more." Yuu gave an unsure and sheepish smile to the ghost.

"Alright then, just call us when you have more!" The ghost said cheerfully before going away to help cater to the students in the cafeteria because of lunch rush.

Yuu turned their focus to the tart, picking up the piping bag and lining it on the pastry. They let their hands go to work as they hummed a merry tune. Nothing but the best for Grim, of course.

Seeing their brother as well as their best friend every day, the thought of bonding and making happy memories with each other, even the idea of making new friends in this place was just so exciting. What more could Yuu ask for in life?

After struggling for years and years, of endlessly experiencing hardship and pain, they could finally relax… they were happy and contented. At long last, everything was all right in the world and nothing could ever ruin this peace.

…Drip, drip, drip…

…

R-Right…?

[yandere-sins]

Hi, Sorry if this is a bother, can I request Yandere Beelzebub and a Breeding Kink? If not, you can pick anything you want to write, I love this boy so much, I’ll take anything, and you write him so cute and achingly smothering 💖

Hope you like it, I think I found a way to make it more Beel! Thanks for requesting ^^

Rated Lemon!

»»———————— ♡ ————————««    

Of all the things you could have said to him. Of all the jokes you could have made. Of all words to choose from.

Why did you say this?!

“I can’t eat that much! It’s not like I’m pregnant.”

You laughed it off as if it was funny, but Beel didn’t laugh with you. In fact, you had never seen him this serious before as he stared at you for a long time, contemplating your words before getting up and closing the tilted windows shut, pulling the curtains close, and checking if the door was locked for privacy. The chuckles soon got stuck in your throat as he stalked back to you, your body instinctively knowing better than to remain in the same spot, but it was too late to crouch away over the ground as he picked you up by the armpits and threw you down onto the bed.

For the longest time, you had imagined yourself safe with him. Even if he seemed downright needy for your attention lately, would drag you off to his room whenever he had the chance, and hog you all to himself, it never crossed your mind that sweet, gluttonous Beel was dangerous. Even if you two had history, he still seemed as sweet and precious as he always was, making more than sure you were well-fed and cared for, loved even. In his presence, you could forget about the tedious work for RAD and the constant bickering from your ‘roommates’ and just escape your every-day-life for a while. Watch some good movies, have some food, tell him about your worries without having him overanalyze your problems.

It was comfortable.

So you never expected him to snap like this.

“I think I understand it now,” he mumbled as he pulled off his shirt, exposing the muscular build underneath, truly a sight for gods. Beel climbed on top of you, letting his ever-so-hungry eyes wander over your body as if he was estimating your capabilities. A moment of silence fell over you two as he stared deep into your eyes, your reflection in his showing confusion and... fear. 

“I didn’t consider that your stomach is too small if you are eating only for yourself.”

 Even if you had corrected him about his assumption at that moment, you had doubts he would have listened to you anymore.

»»———————— 

Of all the brothers, you never had envisioned Beel to be sexually active or even having a clue about what to do in this type of situation. It was your fault that you dismissed hundreds of years of being alive for nothing since he only ever ate or hung out with his brothers. But having him press you down into the mattress assertively, your head in his palm, and ramming his cock into you like a bull, you had your doubts that he was as innocent as you believed him to be.

The relationship you two had before had been strictly friendly; you wouldn’t have thought to bring it to this level. Sure, he had licked some whipped cream off the corner of your mouth before or let his arm hang between your legs, absent-mindedly stroking your thigh, but you had always brushed it off as harmless affections and teases. Perhaps you had been wrong. Maybe Beel saw you two as something very different than you were, and you had ignored his longing gazes and attempts to close in the distance between your mouths for much too long.

But that giant, gritty mess pounding into you from behind was nothing remotely close to harmless.

Your mind was in a weird state of worry. One where pleasure had long overtaken most of the coherent thoughts and concerns you had about sex. The last two orgasms had already burned most of your resistance, making your limbs soft and your body compliant to what Beelzebub was doing with you. Not like there was any chance to struggle your way out to begin with, Beel’s strength coming in handy when pinning you down and destroying any attempt of pushing him away and fighting your way out. From the moment he put his tip against your entrance, his whole demeanor had changed. Suddenly he wasn’t the sweet and somewhat indifferent glutton you were used to having around. Now he was serious, focused, and determined, and you didn’t know how to deal with this side of him as well as the endless waves of pleasure rocking through you undisturbed.

Beelzebub didn’t need your help in fucking you senseless, luckily - you wouldn’t have been able to assist him anymore - one less worry on your mind. No matter how much you had wanted to resist, your body had long melted into the pleasure and desire he spread in you. Perhaps, your body knew more than you. Knew what all this was about. But all you could focus on was the tight grip around your waist, pulling you back and forth in the rhythm of Beel pumping into you and the thick cock spreading and filling you up. 

The way he managed to hammer it into you intensely and pull it out slowly, but to the point you felt every vein on his shaft, gave you goosebumps. Every time Beel backed away, you found yourself hoping he’d come back for more, and every time he slammed into you, you wondered when it would finally push you both over the edge.

You didn’t even want to think about the mess you’d be the next day. The aching, pain, and discomfort this would bring you. All you hoped for was that he wouldn’t lose a sense of himself and actually bite out a piece of flesh on you in his trance-like fucking. 

No one - not even you yourself - had ever stretched you out so much, explored that deep. No one ever had a taste of you the same way Beel did. And with the way he treated you, you weren’t just a sample to him - you were the whole damn platter of delicacies! No matter how much he worked you to achieve his goal of filling you with white, sticky cum, your body was covered in teeth marks and hickeys, and you found out that was more of his love language than words - which he kept sparse - would ever be. 

Still, by the way Beel was groaning and biting back the sounds stuck in his throat, you had no doubts how he was feeling about it all. The sweat of your bodies combined with the pool of fluids between your legs, the sound of your hips colliding over and over enough to fill the room with instead of pesky words. No matter what he’d have said, it wouldn’t have justified or made his actions better. It would only help soothe whatever anxiety you had. But with the frenzy he was in, all you could do was hope that you were special to him nonetheless.

You had expected that at some point, your body would loosen up, adjust to the size of his cock and accommodate him properly. Still, every push, again and again, felt like a tight squeeze and ignited another flame of passion in your depths. You were ready to be done. Ready to receive the seed he had wanted to plant inside of you all this time, prepared to...

Oh, no.

Finally, it dawned on you, your eyes widening as your strength returned back into your body with the clarity of mind you had suddenly. Instantly, you tried to turn and push away from the demon using you like a cheap fleshlight, but while you seemed to regain some sense while experiencing your body being prepared to use it for breeding, Beel wasn’t that far. 

“Stop!” you yelled, only for your voice to be caught in a loud moan as Beel pressed deep inside you.

You didn’t want to be pregnant! It had been a freaking joke to stop him from overfeeding you again that night. If anything, you were perfectly fine not bearing children, and you weren’t even sure if your body was ready for it either. Sure, Beel was a demon and must have his way to inseminate you if he so desired, but that was the furthest thing on your mind!

“You’re not wearing a condom!” you tried to reason with him as you felt his pace quicken, perhaps stirred by your sudden movement, encouraged to end it while you still hadn’t been able to escape him. Of course, it was futile, Beel growling a low, “Yes...” before gripping your outstretched wrist tightly, pulling you back into his hips roughly and moaning loudly. 

Nothing could have prepared you for yet another wave of electric shocks as you orgasmed, body shivering and making you gasp lustily, the tip of his cock deeper inside you than ever. The position really did make the difference, but you felt your brain fry with this orgasm, causing you to collapse into the soft pillows the moment Beel let go of your wrist. Had he not caught you with his hands on your hips again, you would have slipped off him, messy and completely out of it, like a fulfilled little slut. But this wasn’t over yet.

“That was the whole point,” he muttered with ragged breath. Your body got pulled along as he sat back, pulling you into his lap and crossing his arms over your torso. He didn’t even need to push you down, gravity doing him a favor with pressing you down on his cock. You felt your still convulsing walls spread for him again, making space despite feeling sore and used. But Beel was the one to make sure you’d reach the very base of his shaft for good measures, giving you the final push from below until there was no more inch to dig into you. “We’re doing this for you,” he reminded you, but you were too dazed to understand anything of what he was talking about. Part of you wished for no more orgasm, and the other hoped he’d sent you back to heaven with each push that brought his cock deeper inside you.

Spreading your legs over his, Beel tugged your arms behind your back, using them to pull you back every time you almost slid off him. You wanted it to stop. You wanted him to fuck you deeper. You wished it would end now. But you hoped it would never end. Until the moment you could feel the hot, slimy mess he left inside of you, making your toes curl and your mouth mewl in the desperation that was orgasm number four, you never stopped wondering what you were doing with Beel, letting him fucking impregnate on his own decision. 

Who gave him the right to do it, and who gave him the right to be so good at it?

His teeth sunk into your shoulder one more time as he orgasmed, his whole body rocking and trying to go even deeper than he already was, spreading out his semen over every inch inside of you so it would carry far and wide. Your body wasn’t ready for any of this, but it felt so good, so right, to be taken by this demon friend of yours, naturally even. The pleasure was addicting, and you could feel yourself growing to like it as it made you forget even your own name.

It didn’t even bother you when Beel finally let you off, your body slumping onto the mattress as if you were a lifeless sack of potatoes. This man was a monster. A monster you had ignored for far too long, setting it off with just a silly comment of yours. Big, muscular arms snaked under yours, holding your hands while his body settled on top of you, completely smashing you beneath him.

“You think that’s enough?” he asked, mumbling the words into your ear. “Will that make you pregnant? Do you want to have some more food now?”

Even if you wanted to reply, all you could do was let out jumbled groans from your throat. Eyes unable to focus, as were your thoughts, you stared off into the distance. The next thing you felt was the hot feeling of something dripping out of you, and you wished this to be the end of the ordeal. Part of you still wanted to believe that he genuinely, innocently thought this would make life better for you. Help you to enjoy all that he enjoyed in the same amounts Beel was able to consume. You still wanted to believe in the sweet boy that would let you cuddle when you had a nightmare and not tell anyone about it the following day. Believe that he wasn’t aware of what he was really doing.

But his following words completely destroyed that image of him for you forever.

“You know I’ll take good care of it,” he mumbled, and you felt one of his hands wander down your body, fingertips probing against your entrance. “I’ll make sure you and the baby eat enough, and we can have all our meals together from now on, so staying with me will be the best for you two.”

His fingers disappeared inside of you knuckle-deep, making you moan out loudly as they stirred up your insides. “I’ll do my best to be a good dad, too,” he announced, pushing himself up again and giving your lungs back the space to breathe. “So you...”

Only now did you feel a long, stiff shaft between your asscheeks. 

Something you wouldn’t have expected to appear after what went down just now. Your eyes widened as you felt it travel lower again, the two fingers getting pulled out slowly, replaced by the tip of his cock.

“... make sure to do your best too,” Beel mumbled, licking his lips before pushing his entire length back in your still wet hole, letting out a loud groan of pleasure on his part.

“Let’s build our future together, okay?”