#all i have to go on here is guy called arthur. and um. that some of him sure gave me things to tjink about

[interview-with-the-vlfote]

(shuts the computer after the norris statement from tmagp1 finished playing) and here's how parker yang malevolent can still win

[natailiatulls07]

Can you do part 2 of it’s okay please 🙏

It's okay Pt.2

Arthur Leclerc Charles Leclerc Lorenzo Leclerc Pascale Leclerc & Leclerc!reader

Summary - In order to find her way in life, Y/n Leclerc runs away in the dead of night only leaving a note

Warning - Y/n being very anxious

A/n - You asked so you shall receive lol 😚

People in screenshots above (Not a tag list xx) -

@dreamerrosie @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @alldaysdreamers

-

Eventually Charles managed to lead Y/n to the passenger seat of the ferrari, if the two were seen together the paparazzi would have a field day.

The car journey was silent but comfortable. Every so often Charles would glance over to his sister, taking in her puffy eyes, sniffly nose and tear lines where they ran through her delicate makeup.

He really did miss Y/n. The days, weeks, months and years after her disappearance, everyone in the family could feel that missing piece. Her.

There was so much he wanted to say. So much to ask her. Charles' mind raced no pun intended. "How are you?" His voice broke that silence, but he couldn't wait. He had waited long enough.

There was small hesitation before Y/n soft voice spoke up. "Y-Yeah good, I um..." She stops, taking in a deep breath before chuckling. Confusing Charles. "I actually came back to Monte C to um...see you guys again, I missed you guys..."

It took him a few seconds for that to sink in before Charles spoke again. "Really?" He laughed, somewhat not believing his little sister.

Smiles captured both of their lips, Y/n nodding laughing along with Charles. "Yeah, I guess my plan sort of worked out..."

"Well you're lucky chérie, everyone is going round Mamans tonight..." Surprise filled her face, her luck this evening was immaculate. "I was at Lorenzos to pick up some bits and then you called"

-

They pulled up to Pascales house, and a wave of tears wash off Y/n. It was the first time in years since she had been home, the place where she took her first steps.

The white front door and the beige shutters, everything all still there. Y/n thoughts were interupted by the voice of her brother. "Oh I guess we're the last ones here. You ready for this princesse?"

With a nod and a deep breath, Y/n climbed out of the Ferrari. Walking up to the front door; she was messing with her hair, clean down her outfit and wiping away any smugged makeup. This was the first she would see her family after so long, she wanted to make a good impression.

Charles walking slightly ahead of her, chuckling softly at her. "You know they won't care what you look like. I mean you could walk in wearing a trash bag and a birds nest for hair and we'd still be happy to see you..."

It's true. She had been gone for so long that the family would do anything to hug Y/n and talk to her again. Her hands slowly lower from her hair, nodding cautiously.

Side by side they both walk up to the front door. Charles doesn't even knock or ring the doorbell, he just walks in. "Maman? Arthur? Enzo?" He shouts through the house, wondering where they are. The two siblings hear a faint shout from their mother.

"In the kitchen Charlie"

It was like time stood still for Y/n. She hadn't heard her mothers voice in such a long time, and oh how she missed it. Tears clouded over her eyes.

A rough hand slipped into hers, Charles was now leading the almost frozen Y/n to the kitchen. As they walk through the hallway, she notices how alongside photos of Charles, Lorenzo and Arthur are pictures of Y/n. And not just old photos before she ran away, no photos from her career.

One photo she takes notice of is from when she was in Swan Lake as Odette, the Swan princess.

They're just outside the kitchen when Charles turns to Y/n. He smiles gently, looking into her glossy eyes. "Let's do this yeah?" And with that, he walks her into the kitchen.

Pascale looks up from the chopping board expecting to see Charles but stops when she spots Y/n stood next to him with glistening eyes. Arthur turns from the fridge and stops mid sentence. "Charles, did I tell you about-"

Theres a heavy silence in the room, only interupted by Pascale dropping the knife and rushing over to her daughter. The two female collide into a hug, both sobbing.

Lorenzo and Charles connect eyes, both happy that Y/n is back home. "Oh maman, Je suis désolé, tu me manques..." The rest of the family hear Y/n's voice crack, and they all swear they feel their hearts crack slightly.

Y/n feels Pascale shaking her head. "C'est bon, c'est bon bébé" Pulling away from the hug, she cups Y/n's wet cheeks. Eyes taking in the grown womens features. But their silent interaction is cut short by Arthur lightly moving his mother out of the way.

He takes his little sister into his arms and spins her round, laughing loudly and cheerfully. "Oh my god you're back! You're back!" Arthur puts her down after a few spins. "I can't believe you're back!"

Y/n smirks slightly and replies back to him. "Best believe it!" Which earns her a playful slap on the shoulder. Arthur steps back and the now reunited family gather around the kitchen island. "I miss you guys, I actually came back to see you guys again..." Biting her lip slightly, Y/n waits for their response to her comment.

Smiling softly, Charles laughs. "Well I don't know about anyone else but I feel honoured. Y/n Leclerc, pro ballet dancer takes the liberty to visit her family" The kitchen lights up in laughter whilst he moves across the isle and give the young female a side hug.

"Get used to me Cha Cha, I'm on break for the summer"

~

yourusername

Surprise! I am a Leclerc girl oops <3

Liked by lorenzotl and 203,643 others

Comments are disabled

-

[yanderepuck]

Ikevamp au where everything is the same except the suitor falls in love with you, but you hate them.

Imagine. An otome game, but you constantly turn down the guy.

Napoleons route: what makes you think I want to be your body guard?

You: what makes you think I want to be near a panty sniffer?

Napoleons route later: wait... I think I'm in love with her

You: why won't he leave me alone.

Wait why is this actually hilarious

Mozart's route: no one likes you and no one wants you here.

You: what makes you think I want to spend my time with a man who meowed at people?

Mozart's route later: so I actually really like your company

You: I've never enjoyed being around you for a moment after you called me a nuisance.

How would you expect me to fall in love with either of these two after they both tell me they want nothing to do with me. Please explain

Leonardo's route: I'm going to drag you around the city and have you help me with things

You: please just let me be depressed in the mansion

Leonardo's route later: I've really been enjoying our time together

You: please just let me be depressed in the mansion.

Just let her do her thing. She wants to go back home with no strings attached. Make sure she doesn't try to kill herself but please don't drag her along against her will.

Arthur's route: you're a pretty little thing

You: touch me and I will scream and bite you myself. Never speak to me. Don't even perceive me.

Arthur's route later: so it all started when I was a wee lad

You: didn't I tell you to stop acknowledging me? I'm not interested in your trauma. I didn't even know who wrote Sherlock until I got here

Let be real. Most of us didn't actually know. We knew Sherlock didn't write Sherlock but we didn't know it was some crazy fairy man.

Vincent's route: you're really sweet and I think we should be friends

You: yes. Friends is nice. You seem very nice

Vincent's route later: so..I..um...I want to be more than friends.

You: learn how to have a negative emotion and stop acting like being sad is a bad thing.

The boy is honestly toxic. He's going to invalidate your negative emotions I feel it.

Theo's route: hondje! You saw my scar and so now you're going to work for me!

You: shouldn't I be the one trying to blackmail you??

Theo's route later: you're actually a really good worker and have a good eye for art. I like you hondje

You: so you like capitalism? Am I even getting paid? I didn't travel through a door just to run around the city and sell art work

I'll never understand how it makes sense that Theo thinks he can make her do things bc he assumes she noticed some random ass scar. WHAT'S WRONG WITH EVERYTHING LEARNING YOU GOT SHOT. YOU DIDN'T COME FROM THE FUTURE. THEY CAN TECHNICALLY LOOK UP HOW YOU DIED.

Why did I have a hard time coming up with one for Isaac. Ik that boy is problematic but why am I having issues

Isaac's route: HOW DONT YOU KNOW ABOUT *insert very complicated scientific theory*

You: I went to public school my dude. Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

Isaac's route later: she's very kind and patient. Is this what love feels like??

You: IF HE COULD SHUT UP ABOUT HIS WORK FOR 5 SECONDS THAT WOULD BE GREAT

I know once I post this I'll think of a better one for Isaac. But oh well. Boy needs to let you talk about your day.

Dazai's route: you're so cute. I'm going to adopt you as my little sister

You: you're a little weird... But I guess this is okay

Dazai's route later: so I really like you, but I need to push you away and act like I don't care because it's what's best

You: I have been here for two weeks and you've tried to kill yourself 4 times. How did you think I could mentally handle that let alone want to date you, PLUS YOU KEEP CALLING ME YOUR LITTLE SISTER

He sibling zones you up until the very end. What kind of Alabama kink do you got going on, Dazai

Jean's route: I'm not sorry that I bit you. Don't talk to me, I don't want friends. No one understands me anyway.

You: if Comte doesn't beat your ass for biting me then I'll do it myself.

Jean's route later: I think I'm learning what love is. She's helped me with so much and I want to repay her

You: he bit me and never apologized or got in trouble. Why the hell would I ever be interested in him. He's treating life like a SURVIVAL GAME

I have many complaints about Jean. But my main one is the biting and him never getting in trouble for it bc he's the favorite child.

Will's route: you found and read my note book and now I have to keep an eye on you so you don't tell anyone that I'm using this information against them to possibly get them killed!

You: sooo...you aren't writing all of this because you have bad social skills and are just trying to better understand everyone because they are all from a vastly different time period than you? Thanks for telling me your plan.

Will's route later: so I've realized the error of my ways and I'm not going to do the deed any more and I hope you can forgive me

You: LET ME OUT OF THIS DAMN VILLA

Will became a little too obsessed. Oops

Comte's route: it is my fault that you are here, so I will protect you and take care of all your needs while you are here. You'll be the daughter I never had

You: thanks! I'll work around the mansion to pass the time and get to know everyone better

Comte's route later: I know I have pushed you away multiple times but I really love you and I want to spend centuries with you

You: I have seen how bad of a parent you are and I've picked up your dirty clothes off the floor I don't think this is going to work

Comte just keeps daughter zoning you and then is like "so I love you" IS THIS WHERE DAZAI GETS IT FROM.

Sebastian's route: every time you do something wrong I'm going to flick your forehead

You: do that one more time and I swear to God I'm slapping that grin off your face

Sebastian's route later: being with you is making me miss home and consider going back to our time. I would love to go back with you and spend our lives together back in Japan

You: there's so many reasons why this wouldn't work out and staying at the top: YOU TOOK SOME RANDOM PILLS SOME PRIEST GAVE YOU. Not to mention you didn't tell ANYONE you were dying

If you're gonna fall in love with me at least tell me you're going to die in a few months.

Also not going to do the trio in this moment. Oops sorry

[georgeclarkewifey]

Inconvenience | g. clarke

Chapter 6: meeting the girls

Summary: Noa meets the London Girlies

Word Count: honestly this felt so short I couldn’t bring myself to count it sorry gang 😔

Warnings: swearing and George being a dick lol

Noa checked her watch anxiously, for the third time in about forty seconds. She was only a block away from the cafe that she was due to meet Grace, Freya and Talia, but she was fifteen minutes early, so she was scrolling on her phone trying to burn time.

“Noa? Why are you hiding around this corner?” The recognisable voice of Becky Bambino asked, causing Noa to glance up quickly.

“Well um- I was early you see so-“

“Oh don’t you worry about that, knowing the rest of the girls they’ll be waiting in various roads around here because they’re early too.” She added, noticing how Noa relaxed. “C’mon, they’re all eager to meet you.”

Noa allowed herself to be pulled at the hand by Becky as she lead the pair of them towards the coffee shop.

“Aha!” Becky cried triumphantly, pointing in the distance. “There’s Freya pretending to not be early as well. See, told ya you wouldn’t be the only one.”

Noa smiled gently and shyly waved at Freya, who when she realised that she had been spotted, started making her way over to the girls to embrace them in tight hugs.

“Noa! It’s so good to finally meet you! I’ve heard so much!”

“All good I hope?”

“Of course! Come on, I think Grace and Talia are already inside.”

Noa greeted the two girls who were already there, who reciprocated her gesture with enthusiasm.

“Noa you don’t get how excited I am to meet you,” Grace said, pulling her onto the sofa next to her. “So, tell us everything, how on gods green earth do you cope with living with the boys.”

“Um.” Noa scratched the back of her head nervously. “Well I live on the floor below them, so I don’t actually have to cope with living with them, but they’re great company, especially Chris and Arthur.”

“You grew up with them right?” Talia asked, sipping her coffee.

“Yeah, born and raised in Jersey with the two of them, they’re practically brothers to me.”

“So you never liked them growing up?”

Noa recoiled in disgust, just the thought of having romantic feelings for Chris or Arthur, it just felt so off. The girls laughed at her reaction, and Grace patted her shoulder.

“Yeah, never ever liked them like that, never will.”

“And Arthur Hill and George?” Freya asked, raising her eyebrows.

“Uh, yeah probably not.”

Noa’s answer confused the four, all of them looking at her with confused looks.

“Why not babe?” Becky said, propping her feet up on one of the stools.

“Well um, George actually hates me. Not quite sure why, but he does.”

“In the words of Max Balegde what the big fat fuck?” Grace exclaimed. “But George, he’s well, George.” She faltered.

“He’s literally one of the nicest guys on the planet, why does he hate you?”

“I don’t know! He just does.” Noa said, rubbing her eyes in frustration. “Ever since I got here, I’ve done nothing but be nice to him, and all he gives me is glares. He doesn’t even try to talk to me, and if I talk to him hardly answers.”

“Oh sweetheart…” Talia comforted, pulling Noa into a hug as she began to tear up. “That’s why he doesn’t follow on insta I’m guessing?”

“Yeah, and the longer it goes on the more worried I’m getting that people will catch on, it’ll reflect badly on the both of us.”

“Don’t worry about him.” Freya said, waving her hand in the air. “He’d be fine. What we have to worry about is you, why do you reckon he’s being like this?”

Noa shrugged. “I really wish I knew, because then I could try and talk to him about it, you know? Face the problem head on, but he’s not really giving me much to go off.”

“Do you reckon it’s because of Arthur and Chris?” Grace asked. “Because he can be quite protective of his friends - I was on a night out once with him, Max and Andrew, some random guy came up to Max and just called him gay for no reason, George nearly punched him and told him to fuck off.”

Noa’s brows raised in surprise. She had never seen that side of George before, but she wanted to - even from his videos he could tell that he was a caring person, and all she really wanted was from him to act like that when she was there too.

“I wouldn’t worry Noa, he probably just needs to warm up to you and then I’m sure you’ll get along so well, it’ll probably just happen overnight, and the next day you’ll be shocked when he’s super nice to you.” Becky reassured.

“You sure about that?”

“Positive, it’ll happen soon, I promise.”

noamurphy

liked by arthurtv, chrismd10 and 22,474 others

noamurphy lovely to meet you all xxx

comments open

bambinobecky sweetest person alive love you

⮑ noamurphy love you too 😘

maxbalegde well jealous of you gkbarry_

⮑ gkbarry_ as you should noa is legendary

⮑ noamurphy staawwwpp you’re too nice ☺️

chrismd10 the football is on in two minutes why are you not in the apartment yet

⮑ noamurphy its called having a regular job give me 10 minutes

⮑ chrismd10 but you’ll miss kick off!!!

⮑ noamurphy I KNOW THAT CHRISTOPHER I CAN DO BASIC MATHS

⮑ georgeclarke just get off your phone and do your work then jeez

user1 someone teach George basic manners and etiquette pls and thx xxx

⮑ user3 IK!! like, Noa and Chris are obviously joking around can he not read the room

⮑ user4 honestly George’s first appearance on any of Noa’s socials and this is what he gives us? not it babe sorry

⮑ user1 yessss its giving go girl give us nothing

author speaks!!: hello my lovelies! Sorry it’s been so long!! started a new job and adjusting to life without my best mates by my side has really taken up a lot of my time, but here we go, new chapter with more on the way

stay cool peeps

[reilleclan-blog]

Yes I'm still here and while I'm here I decided to get rdr2 b/c I wanted to rp as a cowboy so fucking bad. Um honestly I don't hate rockstar games recent gta story wise and online play is ass to me movement and thr story felt so trivial to me(this js my opinion after years of thinjing rockstar and gta are relativrly good) but yeah. the only rockstar game i faithfully love is Bully.

(SPOILERS)

and as i play rdr2 i feel like the story is basically like Bully except the entire plot of rdr2 is Jimmy(arthur) and Gary(Micah) going at it the entire game but also using a bit of mislead.

(and yes after arthur got captured by odriscolls i immideitely sused out Micah as being a snake. also i didnt believe a word of a "truce")

And yes i did look up the truth to confirm my suspicions b/c i don't believe in spoilers kinda. But yeah im gonna say a couple things about this game I genuinely think it's a cool and interesting game. I personally can't fathom how ppl thought Dutch was so "wise" and "complex" he basically was some dude that monologued EVERYtime he was on screen. Like I swear to god this dude was just a "head up his own ass" type of guy and it solidifies even more around the ends of the game. (In the beginning I thought he was sort of a good guy but once they sat up camp out of the cold .. I was like this guy is annoying ass shit and I absolutely hated taking orders from him as Arthur lol)

Dutch was basically a dude that thought he knew more than everyone cause he read a couple books and quoted shit all the time. My nigga , u are ultimately a fucking poser. U no better than anyone in the camp ANYONE could've done what he did he just got in the position before anyone else. I swear to god I'd skip so many cutscenes b/c all he did was talk and talk "blowing hot air" and as the game went on he continued to do dumber and dumber shit and everyone just went along with it. I genuinely think it's hilarious a separate job everyone does(robbing the bank) was the most fun mission with main side characters I'd probably had thru the entire game. And all that was pretty much thrown out the game b/c Dutch's plans made everyone have to leave again.

(Him saying "play both sides of the war" was the dumbest shit ever. But ofc everyone still listened to him. Hosea was having a mind of his own but STILL choice to do what he said.) Dutch wanted to play chess so bad but really he was playing checkers ever since they left Strawberry possibly Blackwater as well.

Also I wasn't sure how I'd like the game mostly the main character but Arthur actually has a personality and can be complex more than a lot of the characters ppl call "complex" . I honestly think rockstar could've gone farther with making the story so compelling maybe the main character could've been a woman who is living in the west u know and finds these band of misfits and it could show the struggles of crime and being a woman advantages and disadvantages. Something like that.

I don't think the characters aren't interesting not saying that lol I just think in the end this story didn't want to push further with complex understanding or characters. It's like yes it's a story but it's not here to make u think too much on what's going on. (That's how I felt) since most of the audience I'm assuming were biased players and SURPRISE straight white men.(even though funny enough cowboys were originally black and brown) so I think rockstar made a story just interesting ENOUGH to keep that certain demographics attention. I assume with ppl that assess games and the way the game plays out at times. For example a lot of the times during missions u could do something stealthy but still end up having a trivial ass shootout to "keep the excitement" of the game. A lot of the times that happens and it just annoys me b/c it'd virtually makes stealth pointless unless otherwise.

I'm still trying to finish up the game but rockstar has a tendency to make these games over long for no fucking reason . It reminds me of movies that are like 2hrs long just to have the entire movie be "racism is bad"(Cloud Atlas) or some dumb simple shit like that. So I'm still tryna see what the story this game is tryna tell me or show me but damn it's just taking forever for no fuckin reason TO ME. 💀 also feels like there's so much shit happening in the game that I can't grasp the story at times like there's no rest? Doesn't mean when characters died I didn't care but still

I was even baffled that the crew really went overboard and landed on some tropical island. Sometimes the events in the game seem unnecessary as well. Again adding to the fact the game is over long for no reason. Anyways um cya till next time.

[fnaffersblog]

Okay hold on HOLd UP

Spoilers below for 'Earth's ORIGIN STORY in VRCHAT'

Trigger Warning below cut for: Cursing

Not five seconds after making a 'LUNAR!!!' post we get Earth lore, I am being fed today on the richest of content.

Look look look I get it The Princess and the Pauper movie is great but you cannot go wrong with Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus okay? Alright? This is now. This is now a Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus blog alright? In this house we love Barbie and the Ma

Princess and the Pauper came out in 2004 for anyone who was also wondering, but didn't look it up.

Lol.

The return of the true villain of the series: That one fuckin bouncy, physics defying plush cylinder in the theater.

The music change had me wheezing, the fucking dramatic chase music for this bouncy toy.

Followed by all three of them legitimately walking around trying to catch the damn thing.

I'd love to see an episode where they have a discussion, like a serious discussion or something in the theater, and someone throws the toy and it just bounces around forever while they're having a serious talk, and it's played completely straight the thing is bouncing and no one addresses it or tries to catch it this is wishful thinking but the idea had me laughing so hard i forgot hwo to use punctuation

Sun and Moon sitting down on the little plushies seats like kids listening to story time was so cute.

"You will refer to me as Creator" "Hello Father!" "That works as well I suppose!"

It's strange seeing how... kind? The creator is towards Earth. Like, he's always been kinder to Earth than he has been to Sun or Moon or Killcode, but it's still weird. Like, he lets her decorate her room and got her movies in preparation for her activation, and doesn't get upset when she calls him father, and he's gentle when he asks her to leave them at the end.

"I abandoned mortal flesh for eternal life as a brain!" "Oooh! That seems clever!" Lol

Huh a Garbage Guy.

...

BLOODMOON'S GARBAGE GUY??? HWAT????WHAT>>>???

I like... whatever is going on between Garbage Guy and the Creator. Like, GG is so annoyed with the Creator, but he's speaking so casually to him? Exasperated with the Creators antics. They're like... a goddamn sitcom couple or something. The Creator gives no shits about this guy's irritation. They remind me of Chatot and Wigglytuff from PMD:EoS.

So, Earth was activated around November-December 2022, during the Bloodmoon arc. She showed up in... April? I think? Late March, early April? Though she said she got lost trying to find the daycare/Sun and Moon, so she left/was sent away from the Creator sometime just before that.

Also, whos they? Fazbears? Sun and Moon? Some third party? Why would they get shut down? I may have missed something. I assume it's Fazbear's inc the two of them are talking about.

Earth raising her hand to ask questions.

They have a connected background??? The Creator got the garbage can stuck on this guys head?? Did he make him immortal too, or did he just get hired because he was immortal? What's the dealio with these two?

"Why do you have a trash can on your head?"

"Why don't we ask your Creator, hmm?"

*THE EYE*

"Can you not, with the whole brain eye thing!?"

"IT WAS UNINTENTIONAL!"

I'm crying it was mostlikely a misclick im crying that was so funny

"Um. You see. It's a, um, fashion trend that he's trying from another country."

"Oh fashion trend today is it?"

WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE ARE THEY DIVORCED WHAT AM I LOOKING AT This can't be just me can it?? I want more of it.

"Too bad. My lab." LOL

"I acquired the entire collection of Barbie movies!"

Creator enforces gender 'norms'. Asshole!

I know there's other things happening this episode but. "Was that all?"

"Nooo I wanted to ask you TAKE THIS DAMN THING OFF MY HEAD!"

Also is that the Arthur jingle? Like, the scene transition jingle from Arthur? That's what it sounds like.

"He could see?!" THAT'S what you're taking away from this Moon????

Earth out here being very right about the Barbie Rapunzel movie too, that magic paintbrush was banger, I wanted one too.

This episode was fuckin' fun. So many good quotes, I was laughing the WHOLE time. Also we might have a set up/ worldbuilding for the Creator's enemies and also more Creator and Garbage Guy stuff. Still wondering if he's dead. StG Killcode mentioned putting him to eternal rest at one point.

Also the thumbnail, again the thumbnail! IT's so pretty! The details are amazing, I wish I could look at them closer somewhere. Do we know yet who does them? I've seen suggestions in the comments of both videos featuring art so far that these new ones are done by Kiwi_Artz, but they aren't credited in the descriptions and they haven't post the thumbnails on Twitter anywhere. :(

I feel like this will most likely be the last calm episode before the 16th. This feels like a 'calm before the storm' situation and I cANNOT wait. 9 days till the 16th, that's probably 4-6 lore episodes/ 5-6 VRCHAT episodes, presuming anything is going to happen on the 16th. I'm both not ready for it, and 100% ready for it.

[theuniversalscat]

Ok, a few things:

1. Polite IS cool…

2. Fonzie loves his teeth, and his teeth love him.

3. Where does Fonzie keep an extra toothbrush in his tight jeans?

4. Why isn’t he brushing at home, instead of in a dirty public restroom like Arnold’s?

5. Why are they enjoying it so much? The screaming of it all… I must be missing something when I brush…

6. They both look like they are the last people in the world who would be having a discussion like this.

7. How do they know each other anyway?

8. Arthur is Fonzie’s real name, so shouldn’t they call him “Arty”?

9. When Fonzie was a baby, do you think he had the same “cool guy affect” like he did in the show? Ayyyy…. (Two tiny thumbs up)

10. Why isn’t there a “grandma fonzie” on the show?

11. Why was it normal to have a Martian from Ork come down and ingratiate himself into their lives?

12. Also, piggybacking off that last question, why was the Mork Martian speaking English, and able to nanuuu nanuu to them, and they didn’t really bat an eyelash. I mean, Richie was the most accepting, even tempered person. If I were to have run into Mork in my home, I would’ve probably not have trusted him because he was a man in a shiny space suit that came into my living room uninvited and talked too fast… Also, I think he hatched out of an egg…

13. Why did Fonzie jump a shark?

14. There were a few Al’s on the show. Were they biological brothers? Because what are the odds of having a couple of owners of Arnold’s named Al? And if so, why were both of the brothers named Al? Why weren’t they Arnold’s?! Or was it like George foreman’s family, where they’re all named George but except they’re Al’s? And why was one Japanese?

I probably have more questions that I may or may not pose here later, we’ll see… because the whole Laverne and Shirley thing, and how they wanted people to think that “Carmine”, the dancing crooner busboy at Laverne’s father’s bowling alley, was a heart throb, because to me, he was entirely too jazz hands-y and way too needy. When you can’t go two minutes without tap dancing, singing to people who clearly aren’t into it, doing cartwheels and round off flip flops trying to get into a show, any show, that’s too much for me. Get another outlet for that business, ok? Why didn’t he take up a hobby? Something cool, like fire swallowing?

George Carlin: um, Kari?

Kari: No.

Kari (cont.): It’s like, “Listen, Carmine, I don’t own a theater, nor do I have any ties to Hollywood. Why don’t you go shuffle off to Buffalo and take a connecting flight to someone who cares!”

Carlin: oh shit….

Kari: Or how about how Fonzie controlled inanimate objects and simple minded people with his snapping?! Yes to that! And what about the whole Joanie and chachi thing… Because did you know that they had to change his name in Korea cause chachi meant the chach area down there in the men’s Netherlands region?

And did you also know that I call it “chachies” when I have to quickly use the restroom after eating some fried, greasy, extremely spicy food, or something riddled with lactose. So, for example I’ll yell from the potty to anyone in the house within earshot, “I got the chachies!!!!”

Regardless of those unanswered questions, I liked that show, because although it was slow paced and slightly uneventful some of the time other than the shark, they sure brought the younger me some childhood “happy days”. 🤷‍♀️🙌🤣

Carlin: you done?

Kari: not sure yet… ok. Now I’m done.

Gary Marshall: hi, I’m Gary Marshall. I wrote this crap, or, as kari would say, this “chachies” of a show.

Kari: No! I liked the show, Gar… it was a staple of my childhood. It’s just that “Chachi” happened to be an unfortunate choice in names, that’s all…

Gary Marshall: See?! She’s not mean, she’s only discussing the characters, not the actors… And I didn’t know from Chachi when I wrote it.

Kari: well, now you do. And naming one of your characters after a peep is not ok to the Korean people.

Richard Pryor: Tell me about it. Try going through life being called “Dick”.

Kari: No! I call you, “Richard head, the eighth!”

Richard Pryor: you mean there were 7 other dicks that had the same name before me?!

Kari (to Richard) Yes. (to Gary Marshall): And Gary, the show is not crap. It made a lot of people happy. And nothing made with love, is crap!

Gary Marshall: thank you, Kari. At least I didn’t write a sitcom called, “chachi has chachies”.

Kari: yeah! Cause no….

Gary Marshall: she’s a good kid. Crazy, but good.

Scene.

Do you like my Fonzie painting I just got last weekend? Bruh! I fell out!

[mythos-writes]

Peaky Bloopers 2: Electric Boogaloo

Peaky Blinders Cast x Reader (platonic)

Plot: Just more bloopers and funny moments :)

Word Count: 1038

Warning: Swearing, went overboard on the last one :)

Part 1 Peaky Blinders Masterlist

I do not give permission for anyone to repost/ post my stories, with or without credit. Reblogs, comments, etc. are more than welcomed, but please DO NOT copy and paste my stories that you may like onto another platform.

The scene was supposed to have Florance run into the back room of the garrison, warning her older brothers about some news that had graced her, but (Y/N) couldn’t get the line out. 

“TOMMY!” Florence yells, barging through the door. The tone of their sister’s voice caught their attention. 

“Florance? What happened?” Tommy question. 

“Billy Kimber… he was trying to… fuuuuccckkk,” (Y/N) groans out, forgetting the end of the line. 

“Go back, do it again,” Paul jokes. She sends him a silly face before going back out. Joe went over and locked the door of the room. Paul and Cillian hid their laughs before the director yells action. (Y/N) went for the door, but just ran into the door. She tries to open it, realizing it’s locked.  

“You bloody fuckers,” she says from the other side of the door, causing them to laugh. She started to knock on the door. A crew member came to open the door, revealing a not too impressed (Y/N).

Florence and Tommy were standing in front of Alfie’s desk. Alfie went to sit down in his chair when all of a sudden. 

*RRRRIIIPPPP* Tom looked between Cillian and (Y/N), both trying to not laugh. 

“You okay over there?” (Y/N) asked, holding in her giggles. 

“I think I just split my pants,” Tom says, causing (Y/N) to crumple to floor in fits of laughter. 

“Wait really?” one of the crew members asks. Tom stood up and turned around, and sure enough, the seam of the pants was completely ripped apart. This caused (Y/N) to laugh harder. 

“I think you broke (Y/N)” Cillian comments, trying to stifle his laughter. She calms down before trying to speak proper words. 

“I am so sorry, but that was so unexpected,” she says, some giggles still falling from her lips. 

Florence, Arthur, John, and Tommy were getting out of the car, getting ready to meet with some business, but Florance didn’t get that far. 

“Um… I’m stuck,” (Y/N) calls out. The three turned around to see that her dress got caught in the car door. 

“(Y/N)...”  Joe says, not impressed. 

“Hey, listen, I didn’t do it on purpose. If I did the dress would have ripped,” she states. “Now, help me,” she states.

(Y/N) decided she was going to ‘prank’ the cast with a little help from the makeup and costume departments. She wanted to dress up like Cillian and walk around the set, trying to find as many people as possible, then finishing off with Cillian. As she was getting her makeup done, Helen walked into the makeup trailer. 

“What is going on here?” she asks. 

“I’m turning into Cillian,” (Y/N) replies, getting a chuckle out from her friend. 

“Oh this will be good,” Helen says while sitting in one of the other chairs. 

“Ok, now let's finish getting you into the costume,” one of the artists said. (Y/N) finished putting on the suit before putting on the flat cap and looking into the mirror. She was shocked at what she said. She looked very similar to Cillian and it was almost scary. 

“You guys did an amazing job,” she replies, hugging the team that helped. “Helen, what do you think?” she turns to the woman in the chair. Helen opened her eyes and looked in her direction and gasped. 

“Oh my god. That looks amazing,” she replies.    

“I feel like I could play a good Thomas Shelby,” (Y/N) comments, still looking at herself. 

“Now the question is can you sound like Tommy?” Helen says with a smile. (Y/N) cleared her voice before reciting one of his lines. 

“Oh, I don’t pay for suits. My suits are on the house, or the house burns down,” she smiles seeing the shock come over their faces. It wasn't 100% the voice Cillian does, but it was passable that people would have a hard time differing the two.

“Have you been practicing that? Bloody hell (Y/N) that’s brilliant,” Helen says. 

“I did some voice acting before, so I had to do different voices all the time,” she says. “Now, if you excuse me, I have some friends to bother,” she says, fixing her hat before walking out of the trailer. She starts to walk around, messing with some people, them all enjoying her act. She sees Paul and Joe standing by one of the trailers and decided to put her plan into action. 

“Oh you two, don't you have better things to do?” she yells out in her ‘Tommy’ voice. The two jumped a little and turned to her. They were shocked at first, not recognizing her at all. 

“What shocked someone can play Tommy better than Cil?” she questions, dropping the deep voice. The two were shocked. 

“(Y/N)?!” They ask. She laughs at their reaction. 

“Bloody hell, if Cil ever loses his voice, you could just dub over the poor bastard,” Paul says, getting a closer look at her costume. The three get a quick picture together, wanting to remember this moment. 

“Thank you very much, now would you two know where Cil is?” she asks. 

“I think he is filming with Sophie and Harry,” Joe says. She nods before going to the sound stage. The two started to follow her, recording her. As they get closer, she had to stop herself from getting too giddy. She takes a deep breath before moving closer. 

“Oh, I am going to spin a coin for your gig, Cillian Murphy,” she yells, getting their attention. They were all confused, but Cillian was the most. Hearing his voice come out of someone who wasn’t himself. He sees Paul and Joe behind them, so he was even more confused. 

“What?” he asks. (Y/N) then takes off her hat, leaving the three shocked. (Y/N), Paul and Joe all start laughing at their reaction. 

“Bloody hell, this looks amazing,” Sophie says, getting closer to her. (Y/N) does a little spin before standing in a pose that reads ‘tada’. 

“Alright, so I get to go home and you finish filming for me, great,” Cillian jokes causing (Y/N) to roll her eyes. 

“You wish,” she giggles.

[fanficwrit3r]

When You’re Sick - Peaky Blinders

Another set of preferences again. These are so much fun to write and are relatively easier. It’s been a rough few days so I’m just looking to have some fun with writing! If you have any suggestions or feedback, feel free to let me know!

I will be making most of the preferences I write gender-neutral.

To make a request, you can find prompts here and here. Requesting guidelines here. You don't need to use a prompt to request.

You can even request preferences or suggest preference ideas!

Characters included: Tommy, John, Michael, Arthur, Alfie, and Finn.

Warnings: Sickness and things that go with it, such as vomiting or coughing up gunk.

Masterlist

When you’re sick…

Tommy was always worried beyond belief when you were sick.

He never wanted to admit it, but listening to you cough always broke his heart.

You would sleep much more than usual, which would lead to you waking up alone.

One day you confessed this to Tommy. Which, to your surprise, led to him staying by your side.

Tommy wouldn't even smoke around you when you were sick. It was rare to see him without a cigarette, so it was a bit touching.

Tommy would help you sit up whenever you had a coughing fit or a bout of nausea.

His hands would rub circles into your back, massaging the sore muscles.

Tommy would whisper softly to you, his voice is deep and soothing. "It's alright, love... better to clear your lungs. You'll be alright..."

You would always smile when he spoke to you, which would cause a small smile to form on his lips.

Tommy would see you through to the end of the illness... when he would inevitably catch it as well.

John could handle the children being sick, but he always got extra worried when you came down with something.

He would call several times a day from work to make sure you were okay.

Sometimes the kids would answer the phone and give him updates that were more concerning than they needed to be.

John would rush home if one of the children said you were passed out, but he would just find you asleep on the floor since you were playing with the kids.

He would pick you up, carrying you to bed.

You would wake up to a warm bowl of soup on your nightstand, a glass of water and some natural remedies next to it.

John wouldn't go out drinking at night when you were sick so he could take care of the kids and you.

He would hold you in his arms when you ate your soup to make sure you didn't spill on yourself.

"What do the guys say about you skipping drinks to be home with your family?" You would tease him when you had more energy.

John would just laugh, shaking his head. "Don't worry about them, half those men don't have family's... I think I'm rather lucky. But once the sickness passes I'm back to the pubs." He would tease.

You'd let that go for now because John gave the best cuddles when you were sick.

Michael would never know what to do. He had not been around many sick people as a child.

He would go to Polly, asking her for advice of what to do.

Polly would get him all kinds of remedies and tell him to be a good boyfriend... which was something Michael was also struggling with.

He was always working, so taking some time off to help you felt strange.

You would spend the day in bed with a bucket, throwing up everything you ate.

Michael couldn't help but crinkle his nose, but he was trying.

"Can I um... get you anything?" He asked you, rubbing your back up and down as you vomited into the bucket again.

Your stomach audibly rumbled unhappily. "Water maybe... but I might not even keep that down." You mumbled.

Michael got you some water before sitting on the edge of the bed. He would move closer to you slowly.

You would groan softly, setting the bucket to the side after rinsing out your mouth.

Michael's heart ached for you, so he would pull you into his arms, holding you close.

You would spend the day in Michael's arms, only leaving his arms to throw up or use the bathroom. After the initial beginnings of the sickness, he would get comfortable with helping you.

But if you told anyone he was so soft when you were ill, he would be incredibly embarrassed, so this was a secret kept between the two of you... and Polly.

Arthur tried his best, he really did.

He really struggled when you got sick. He would internalize a lot of his worry.

While he was usually gone working, but you never woke up without something at your bedside.

He would get you flowers, various foods, and even some candy to make you feel better.

When he was home, he would always make sure you had what you need.

You never needed to ask, Arthur just seemed to know.

When you coughed, he was there with a glass of water. When you threw up, he had some nausea remedies and water again.

"You scared of getting sick?" You would tease him a little bit.

Arthur would just sigh. "Truth be told, I've never been much help when anyone is sick. Nothin' I do feels right."

You leaned against his shoulder, taking as deep of a breath as you could through the stuffiness in your nose. "You do your best, that's all I can ask."

Arthur smiled, pulling you close in his arms. "I'll always get you what you need." He promised, kissing your cheek lovingly.

Alfie always knew exactly what to do.

You would just barely be coming down with something and suddenly a bunch of medicines appeared on your kitchen table.

A cough would just begin and suddenly the cigar smoke that was usually around would disappear.

Alfie wasn't someone who tried to completely hide his emotions from his loved ones. Who he was in public vs private was very different.

You were sorting through the medicines to find one you would need to take when you had a coughing fit so bad you had to sit down.

Alfie overheard this coughing and walked over. "Alright, I'm cookin' dinner tonight. You're puttin' your feet up and relaxing, yeah?"

"It was just one coughing fit, I'll be fine." You insisted, taking a few deep breaths after your chest settled.

"Nope. Until you're better, your only job is to relax." Alfie persisted.

He was incredibly caring when the sickness would get worse, helping you through it all with whispered assurances.

You couldn't be more grateful for his support.

Finn was a nervous wreck when you were sick and he couldn't hide it.

You started to get a fever during the morning, coming down with something that only increased in intensity through the day.

By the time you got home, you had a high fever and a lot of nausea.

Finn got home later than you, the smile dropping from his face when he saw how sick you were.

"Do you need something? Shit, you're burning up... What other symptoms do you have? Are you coughing? I'll go get you some medicine..." He would start to ramble, placing a cool hand on your forehead.

"Just nauseous, I'm okay... just need a cold bath or something to take the fever down." You told him.

By the time you finished speaking, Finn had rushed off to the bathroom and started to get a bath going for you.

You walked into the bathroom, seeing that he was trying to set it up to be comforting even though it wouldn't be too warm.

"Finn, breathe." You teased him a little bit, one hand resting on your turning stomach.

Finn would look over at you with worry and love in his eyes. "Whatever you need, just tell me... I'll take the days off work if you need."

"Some soup would be nice, but you need to calm down. It's just a little bug, I'm alright." You gave him a reassuring smile.

He cared too much for his own good. You had to insist he go back to work after a day since he just wanted to make you feel better, but you wanted to rest.

Finn's heart was full of love for you. Even when he went to work, he came home with various goods to cheer you up.

[flowerinyourcare]

Reminiscence of the Unfinished Wine - Chapter 1

🍷 September seasonal permanent event; banner characters Shylock, Murr, Bradley; 2022/09/11 - 2022/09/19 JST 🍷

[Location: Manor hallway, night]

Akira: Phew, I really feel like I gave it my all today.

One night, I was taking a walk through the magic manor after finishing my work. As I was walking, I overheard voices having a cheerful conversation.

Akira: (….Hm? It's pretty lively in Shylock's bar.)

[Location: Manor bar, night]

Arthur: It truly is such an adult atmosphere at night. Someday, I hope to have a drink with Master Oz in a place like this.

Rutile: A bar does make you feel a little more grown-up, doesn't it? Mitile has also said he was looking forward to having a drink with me at a bar one day.

Shylock: Then, while we await that joyful day, let us toast with a non-alcoholic cocktail for tonight.

Murr: Let's do it, everyone! Cheers~!

Oz: …..Cheers.

Faust: Cheers…

Nero: Ch- cheers…

Nero: I didn't expect Oz to be here too… Man, you don't get a toast this tense very often…

Arthur, Oz, Murr, and Rutile were all seated at the bar. In addition, I spotted Nero and Faust.

I had just thought to myself, "what a strange group", when Murr's face popped up in front of me.

Murr: Welcome, welcome! Come on in!

Akira: Waah…!

Murr grabbed my arm, and I was tugged into the bar.

Faust: Sage?

Nero: What, now you're showin' up too?

Akira: Ah, I'm sorry for intruding. I just heard a lot of excited voices, so I wanted to see what was going on…

Shylock: Excellent timing. I was just serving a prototype non-alcoholic cocktail. Please do try it, Master Sage.

Akira: Thank you very much. Um, are you all having some sort of meeting tonight?

Murr: Nope! Arthur and Oz were the only ones in here at first.

Arthur: When I mentioned that I wanted to experience the adult atmosphere of a bar, Master Oz offered to escort me.

Oz: I was already intending to come here tonight. I simply said that if you wished to follow me, you could do as you please.

Akira: I see. Then, everyone else…

Faust: Murr invited me to the bar earlier today. He said they were going to serve some great wine, so I thought I would see for myself.

Nero: Besides that, he was talkin' about a rumor that they had somethin' rare in stock.

Murr: Yessir! I said that we would treat 'em to some Bacchus wine, and they all decided to follow me!

Rutile: Yep, and I tagged along too!

Rutile: I heard that Shylock gets many bottles of that delicious wine delivered around this time of year.

It seemed that the three of them were all hoping for a drink called Bacchus wine.

Leaving aside the ever-sociable Rutile, it was a little surprising that Nero and Faust - who seem to prefer quiet evening drinks - had apparently accepted Murr's invitation without much of a fight.

Akira: (I guess it's some sort of special drink…?)

Arthur: What kind of beverage is this "Bacchus wine"?

Shylock: It was created by a wizard named Bacchus.

Shylock: Since I receive many bottles every year, it's become something of a tradition to proudly share it with my patrons.

Shylock: That's why I was discussing it with Murr - we were talking about how we would be delighted to share this year's vintage with everyone in the manor.

Nero: Huh. So you became buddies with a guy, and now ya just get tons of valuable booze delivered for free every year?

Shylock: Indeed. But it's not quite that simple.

Shylock: He sends the wine not only as a token of our friendship, but also as a personal challenge.

Murr: Because Bacchus wines are the product of the spirited rivalry with Bennett wines!

Akira: Huh? A rivalry?

Shylock: Bacchus is a wizard who has fully devoted his life to wine. He has spent so many years making wine that the very aroma of it envelops him, almost seeming to seep from his skin.

Shylock: But connoisseurs still agree that, when it comes to wine, Bennett remains superior.

Shylock: It was many years ago, now, that the Bennett family owned vineyards and produced wine. However, its impeccable reputation did not fade with time.

It must hurt Bacchus's pride to always be outdone by the sheer legacy of Bennett wine. That must be why one day, as Shylock told me, Bacchus had come into Bennett bar.

Murr: He was like, "What the hell is the big deal about Bennett wine? I'll settle this once and for all, so get me a drink!" I remember, 'cuz I was there!

Akira: You remember a story from your past?

Murr: Sure feels like it!

Murr: At first, Bacchus was super noisy and arrogant. But as soon as he tasted the wine that was served to him, he went all silent and still.

Shylock: Because he had dedicated his heart and soul to the art of winemaking, Bacchus must have understood at once why Bennett wines retained their widespread renown.

Shylock: As he took another sorrowful sip of his wine, he declared to me this: "Someday, my work will surpass this wine."

Shylock: Ever since that day, Bacchus has sent me cases of wine every year, requesting that I evaluate their performance. And every year, I kindly do just that.

Rutile: Huh…! So for Mr. Bacchus, Mr. Shylock is definitely a rival, isn't he?

Faust: Now that you mention it, Bacchus wines do have a reputation for improving in taste by the year.

Nero: I guess I get how it feels to taste somethin' so mindblowing that some part of ya changes.

Arthur: I think it's a wonderful thing to thrive off the spirit of defeat and pride, and then use that ambition to work even harder to make wine.

Arthur: Master Oz, have you ever tasted Bacchus wine?

Oz: …I think I have heard that name before, but I do not recall. I may have had it once.

Shylock: "Then, tonight, let us indulge in this delicacy once more." …Is what I would like to say.

Shylock: Unfortunately, we have yet to receive any wine from Bacchus this year.

Murr: Huuuh? Really? Normally, it would have arrived ages ago!

Akira: Maybe he's behind schedule in his winemaking…?

Shylock: If that were the case, I would have been alerted well in advance, but I still haven't heard a peep from him… It is certainly puzzling.

Bradley: --CHOO!!

Akira & Rutile: Waugh!!

Just then, with a loud sneeze, Bradley suddenly appeared before us.

Bradley: …..Hah? Looks like I'm back. Ugh, and of course Oz is here…

Nero: Heh, got blasted off again?

Bradley: Mithra decided to pick up some shitty plant, and its pollen went all over the damn place.

Bradley: Well, at least the place I landed at was just some boring shithole, so I made it back safe n' sound this time.

Rubbing at his nose, Bradley clutched a bottle of wine in his other hand.

All the gathered wizards' eyes quietly settled on the bottle's label, then went wide.

Arthur: Could that be…

Murr: That's the one! Bacchus wine!

Akira: Eh!?

I couldn't read the script on the label, but apparently it read "Bacchus".

To our shock, Bradley tipped the bottle upside down and shook it while making a dubious face.

Bradley: What, were y'all hopin' for a drink too? Sorry, but ya missed out. Polished it off myself. 

As it turns out, Bradley had been sent off to a rural town in the Western countryside, where Bacchus happened to have a vineyard.

Bradley: It was loud as hell around there, so I wanted to see what all the ruckus was about, but it turns out they were just preppin' for a harvest festival or some shit.

Bradley: There was a ton of wine sitting around, so naturally I went ahead 'n grabbed myself a little souvenir. 

--

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10

[unluckyhoneybee]

The Master Plan (Marcus Armstrong)

Mick and YN play matchmakers with two friends. Fluff.

Best friends to lovers Spin-off.

Note: Sorry if it took too long.

OC's name is Elia. It felt weird to use YN too. Everything is written in 3rd person. Sorry if it took too long to write it. I hope you like it! REQUESTED.

When Mick and YN planned everything.

"Elia broke up with her boyfriend."

"Oh. I'm sorry for her, but that guy was a prick"

YN looked at Mick.

"She really deserves so much better" They were on their way back home after going to have dinner with YN's friends.

"Well, she will meet someone."

"She always has the worst luck. Do you remember Joe?"

"Yeah, the guy who cheated on her in high school"

"Yes." YN stopped to think for a few seconds, making Mick turn to her. That meant no good. "Mick, I will trust you with your life. You have a bunch of friends and you trust them. I really believe you have a good taste in choosing friends and I'm sure they are all super good guys."

"You want to get Elia together with one of my friends, right?"

"Oh, and you are super clever too, Mickey. Yeah, basically".

"I'm perfect right? I'm thinking... Isn't she studying cuisine?"

"Yeah"

"Well, we are lucky Marcus is an expert and food critic"

"Mick! It's perfect!"

"So. Your birthday party?"

"Fuck yes"

First try: The birthday party.

Elia had been for a while at the party. Some of her old school friends were there. Also some of YN's new friends from uni and Mick's friends from work. She had never been a person of social events. She loved staying at home and watching some films. But YN was one of her best friends and she couldn't not come to her birthday.

She was actually standing in the kitchen, looking for some plates on the cupboards.

"Hey, Mick told me to come and help you" Elia heard a voice behind her and the plates almost fall to the ground. The guy was lucky fast enough to grab them.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." He said with a soft smile. "I'm Marcus, by the way"

"Um. I'm Elia. It's okay. I was lost in my head" She smiled and Marcus felt his heart quickening. She was beautiful.

"Ah, you are that Elia!"

Marcus took the plates from her hands and she looked at him confused. "I have dinner with YN and Mick the other day and they didn't stop talking about you"

Elia blushed so hard. Her cheeks were burning and she couldn't even look at his eyes. The plates on Marcus' hands were suddenly so interesting.

"Did they?"

"Mhm. They told me about your degree."

"Oh, it's not really a degree. I'm taking courses here and there."

Marcus smiled a bit. She didn't seem to want to talk.

On the other hand, Elia wanted the earth to swallow her. Why the fuck had YN told this guy about her? He was cute and all of that and she perfectly knew how bad she was with cute guys.

"D...do you drive too?"

Marcus almost gasped when she asked. He wasn't expecting that.

"Yeah, I'm in F2."

"I don't see the races. Not even Mick's. "

Marcus lifted his eyebrows in surprise.

"It's okay" He said smiling. It really was.

Elia felt like running away and disappearing. She had probably sounded so rude.

"I will take this to the table" She took the plates from Marcus' hands and left the kitchen.

He tried to talk to her after YN blew the candles. But Elia had already left.

Second try: the ride home.

YN and Mick had just left. They had called Mick from the factory, something important, he said.

That left Marcus and Elia with Arthur Leclerc and Callum Illiot.

Marcus was looking at the girl in front of him. She seemed uncomfortable. She was looking at the plate in front of her, observing it as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. He wasn't sure why YN had invited her, Elia clearly didn't want to be there. Now that she was alone with three unknown guys even more.

Elia was feeling his eyes on her. She had been thinking a while about them. For days actually.

"Do you want to come and have dinner with Mick and some of his friends?" YN asked her.

She looked up.

"Friends?"

"Callum, Arthur and Marcus."

"Arthur and Callum?"

"Leclerc and Iliott"

Elia nodded. She didn't know them.

"I know it's not your thing but I can promise you will be okay"

And she has just left her there. Elia couldn't drive, she had come with Mick and YN, so she would need a taxi. She didn't know these guys, but she didn't want to make them feel bad by leaving.

She felt a tap on her foot and looked up.

"Are you okay?"

Marcus had leant a bit over the table and spoke softly. His friends were too preoccupied with the game on TV.

Elia stuttered a bit with her words. She felt her throat dry. She didn't know Marcus, but his blue eyes and cute smile had made some impact on her. Also, she had been thinking about how rude she had been to him at the party. She shouldn't have come.

"I'm good. Yes."

"YN told me to make sure you arrive safely at home.

Elia gasped. YN had a weird obsession with Marcus and she didn't like it.

"Um. You don't need to. I will call a taxi"

"You are leaving?" Arthur asked turning to her. She blushed hard.

"No, not yet. But soon"

Marcus smiled a bit. He wanted to pull his chair next to hers and talk the whole night.

"Oh good. We are going to leave soon, right Callum?"

What Elia and Marcus didn't know was that the other two guys had orders to leave them alone as soon as possible.

Elia swallowed and Marcus sensed her nerves. She was shy, she always spoke in a low voice and preferred to listen. But when she was with YN she had a cute smile and laughed at the jokes her friend did.

The match the guys were watching came to an end and they got up.

"Okay, let's pay and leave. I'm exhausted." Callum said.

"I'm going to call a taxi"

Marcus heard her muttering right after she left her part of the bill on the table.

"By guys, it has been nice to meet you" She said and got up. She left almost running, the jean jacket she was wearing, long forgotten on the chair.

Marcus was quick to follow her jacket in hand.

"YN!" He caught her outside. "You jacket. And... I have to take you home"

"You don't need to, Marcus" Now that they were alone, her voice sounded more confident.

"I want to. I promised it to YN" He smiled and she blushed. He really had a beautiful smile. "Please, I don't want her to hate me. I'm not that bad. I will stay the whole time in silence if you want."

Elia felt her heart flutter. He was really sweet.

"You don't need to stay in silence."

"That means that I can take you home?"

She nodded with a smile on her face.

When they got into the car, her hands were shaking. She didn't want to say something stupid again. She tried to stay silent, but it was worst.

"It's not really my thing. Going out and all of that" She said.

Elia had that stupid habit of telling strangers too much about her life.

"OH. It's completely fine." He started the car and Elia told him were to go. "How long do you know YN?"

"Em... We went together to high school"

"Oh wow. That's a lot"

"Yeah."

Elia was still too shy to look at him so her eyes were on her hands as she gently played with her rings.

"So you've known Mick for a while too, right?"

"Yeah, he was always at her birthdays. He is a really nice guy. I think I always knew they would end up together."

"Yeah, I remember when I was in Prema with Mick. He always talked about her and she came to visit him a lot. We always joked about it."

"That they were in love?"

Elia looked at Marcus and he shoot her a quick glance, happy to see her more relaxed.

"Yeah. They were so... sappy all the time"

"And the we are only best friends..." Elia laughed remembering the number of times her friend had said those words.

"You too?"

"Yes. I mean, if your friend looks at a cute blondie with heart eyes you have to joke about it"

Marcus laughed.

"I suppose, yes"

They were both smiling.

"I'm actually really happy for them" She said and press the window button. The glass rolled down and the wind hit her face. "They are wonderful people and they deserve someone who loves them"

Elia felt his chest tightening. Recently she had felt envious of Mick and YN's relationship because it seemed to be so perfect. No perfect in a we don't fight way, more like in a we love and respect each other way. It was something she had never had. She was still young and she knew that there were a lot of people out there to meet and build a life with. But she was longing for it. She wanted a partner to be happy with.

Marcus felt her mood swift. He almost could see a rainy cloud sitting above her. He knew she was single. Mick had told him. He said that Elia didn't have the best of luck with guys and she had broken up with some asshole a couple of months ago. And having listened to the tone of her voice, he knew that she was still feeling the effects of that breakup.

He didn't know how to help her, he was also single and his last relationship was a while ago. He wanted to talk to her, to tell her that it would be okay. But he couldn't. He kept his mouth shut.

"Do you have someone, Marcus?" She said in a low voice.

"No. I have been single for a while"

"And... Are you ok with it?"

Even sounding shy and reserved, Elia was showing the most curious side of her. Marcus had learned so much more about her in a few minutes than in the whole dinner.

"Yes. I think so" Marcus answered. He hadn't thought about meeting anyone for a while. He enjoyed being single. But now with her on his car, he was feeling funny thing on his stomach.

"I... I'm going to therapy"

He looked at her. Elia had reach the point of not coming back. She was so nervous she couldn't stop speaking.

"Because I didn't know how to be single. I always wanted to be in a relationship because in my head being single was bad. But I'm learning that it's okay"

Marcus nodded.

"It's okay, yeah."

He felt a weird thing on his chest. He liked her. It was obvious by the way she make him feel. But if she had a bad relationship and now wanted to stay single, he would respect that.

"I know. It's just difficult to get used to it" Elia smiled a bit and looked at him.

He smiled too.

"It will get better"

"I know."

Elia singned her building and Marcus parked in front of it.

"Thank you for the lift."

"I was nothing."

"It was good to talk to you" Elia blushed when she looked at him.

"Yeah. You are really nice"

"I wanted to say sorry for what I said on the party"

Marcus look at her. What had she said? He didn't remember.

"That I don't see yours or Mick's races"

"Oh!" Marcus laughed a bit. "Don't worry about that, really. It's not important."

"It's your job"

"Yeah, but I didn't get angry or something."

"No?" It was Elia's moment to be confused.

"No. I mean, I like when people watch my races. But we didn't know each other then. It was the first time I had seen you"

Elia let out a breath she didn't knew she was keeping. She felt so much better now.

"Wow. I... I was really worried. I thought I had offended you"

"No, it's okay"

They stayed in silence for a while.

"I think I'm gonna leave."

"Okay" Marcus answered softly.

She had felt so comfortable with him that it was difficult to open the door and leave the car.

"Good night, Marcus."

"Good night, Elia"

Both of them went to bed that night with a smile on their faces.

Third and last try: the chef.

Elia was nervous. She had talked to YN and Mick and they wanted to meet one afternoon. It had been weeks since the last time they had seen each other. Elia proposed to meet at her flat and bake something. They both agreed, saying they would bring films to watch after. And also a friend. They said that Marcus was free that day and he was in town.

Marcus was coming to her house. He was going to see her space. Maybe for other people, it was stupid, but it was huge for her.

Since the last time they have seen each other, she had that feeling in her stomach. She knew what it meant and for once she wasn't scared. She even talked with her therapist about it.

Marcus on the other side what hyper excited. He was like a kid when Mick told him to come with them. He was a bit suspicious. YN and Mick had insisted a lot. They wanted YN and Marcus to get to know each other. And he had started to think that they were trying to get the two together.

When he arrived at the apartment, he knocked softly. He hadn't seen Mick's car at the entrance, so he supposed he was the first one. He smiled when Elia opened the door. She was dressed in a hoodie and shorts and she looked so pretty.

"Hi! I brought the flour YN told me"

"Oatmeal?"

Marcus nodded and she let him in. The flat was small, probably a one-bedroom apartment, but it was full of books, pictures and plants. There was one sofa around a TV and a table in a corner. He almost didn't know her, but the apparent had the same aura as Elia, it was clearly her home.

"I didn't say hi. Hi, Marcus. Come here. The kitchen is over here"

She was once again stumbling on her words. Marcus was starting to believe that it was a nervous thing for her.

The kitchen was probably the tidiest place he had ever seen. There were spice bottles everywhere, all with tags and classified. There were pots for probably every single use you can give them.

"This is my sanctuary." She said with a tiny smile.

Everything was ready for their baking session, she was really excited and wanted everything to go perfectly. Cooking and baking was her passion and she loved when her friends wanted to get involved.

"I see. Do you really use all of this?" Marcus said with a smile.

"Do you use all the buttons on your steering wheel?"

He looked at her with a surprised expression and she blushed. She had watched the two races that had taken place since the last time they saw each other, but nobody knew.

"How-?"

"I watched your races" She said stumbling on her words.

Marcus felt his stomach twist.

"Did you?"

"Yeah, well done" She gently touched his arm as she moved to the fridge.

Her phone rang there, a message.

YN: Els, don't kill me. Mick's car is not starting. We won't make it.

She felt a rush over her body. YN and Mick wouldn't come. She would have to spend the afternoon with Marcus alone because obviously, she couldn't tell him to leave.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"YN and Mick can't come. They had a problem with the car"

The realisation hit him. He was right, they were doing this on purpose. He was Mick Schumacher, he obviously had another car, even a motorbike.

"Um. Marcus, do you mind if it's just us?" She said shyly. "It's okay if you don't, you can leave. Not that I'm telling you to. I just don't want to feel that to have to stay..."

He smiled.

"I want to stay if you want me to"

She looked at him and blushed. She was nervous as hell, but she wanted him here.

Soon, they were both in process of making red velvet cupcakes. She didn't expect to have so much fun with Marcus. He was taking pics, recording, taking notes, everything for his food account on Instagram.

"So you are like an expert" Elia said

"Yeah. I go to places, eat their food and then give them my unwanted opinion"

She laughed and put the cupcakes in the oven.

"So today you had a different perspective."

"Yes. A new experience."

"Hope you enjoyed it. And I hope the cupcakes turn out well too. It would be a pity"

"I'm sure they would"

He walked closer to the window and looked at the street.

Marcus looked really good today. His hair was messy but perfect at the same time. It looked soft. The t-shirt he was wearing fitted him perfectly and showed his shape. He was a sight to be seen.

"You have a good view here"

She blushed hard because she was thinking in a completely different view.

"Yes" She muttered.

"Do you want to know something I discovered?"

Elia nodded and walked to him.

"I think YN and Mick are trying to get us together."

Elia gasped and Marcus looked down at her. Her eyes were super opened and her mouth was agape.

"W...why?"

Marcus shrugged. "A feeling I have. They keep talking about you, inviting me to come and see you, leaving us alone"

Everything clicked in her head.

"They do..."

Both of them looked at each other. Was it that bad? Elia was clearly comfortable around him, she had enjoyed the afternoon and was really happy to have him here. She had been thinking nonstop about his cute smile and blue eyes. She had even seen his races when she didn't even like cars.

And Marcus was completely smitten by the shy and awkward girl. He couldn't stop smiling when he was with her. He just wanted to hug her for hours and kiss her whole face. He hadn't felt like that before.

For Elia, Marcus felt like a new beginning, the promise of happiness and something better. For Marcus, Elia was something new, someone to learn and grow with.

"What do you think about it?" Marcus asked carefully. He didn't want to scare her. He still remembered what she had told him in his car.

Elia took a deep breath. She felt ready for this. She wanted it. She wasn't scared of being hurt because she could see how different Marcus was.

"I think it worked." She said in a low voice but looking into his eyes.

He smiled and laughed happily, making her chuckle a bit.

"I think it worked too"

Slowly, Elia touched Marcus' fingers. She felt brave. The guy in front of her liked her. He slide his much longer fingers between hers and she looked down.

"I think I like you" He said in a whisper.

"I think I like you too"

"Even if this is the third time we see each other?"

She nodded.

He pulled her hand a bit to bring her closer and cup her chin with his other.

"Can I kiss you?"

"I die for you to kiss me" She muttered.

He closed the gap, giving her the sweetest kiss ever. Their lips moved in synchrony and slowly and their tongues shyly played with each other.

But they were interrupted by the oven's bell-ringing loud.

They broke apart with a smile. Any of them needed to say anything. It was the right thing.

And when, a few minutes before, they were eating the red and sweet cupcakes, Marcus touched her leg.

"Would you like to go on a date with me? Without YN and Mick interfering with it"

She smiled and nodded, sitting closer to him on

the sofa and giving him a kiss on the lips.

"I would love to"

@.screamingmeals: this afternoon I became the chef. Perfect fluffiness, perfect texture, even more perfect taste, marvellous cheese cream, perfect shape. Had the best teacher. Thank you for the masterclass @.cookwithelia. Can't wait for you to open your own restaurant. I will give you good reviews only. Food 10/10, chef 100/10

Pic link.

This will be a one-part thing. I hope you liked it.

[spencermyangel]

Prompt: could you do one where Spencer joined the BAU at 17 and the team finds out he’s getting groomed by a guy in his like 40s but Spencer refuses to admit the relationship isn’t healthy?

Thank you for the request :)

CW - Grooming, CSA

A/N - This one kinda went on a bit longer than usual 😅

Spencer quickly finished his last case file, eagerly getting ready to leave.

“Hey, what’s got you so excited to get out of here?” Morgan asked, leaning against his desk.

“Going to meet a friend,” Spencer flapped his arms happily.

Morgan chuckled at the boy, he was skeptical when Hotch and Gideon told them a 17 year old was going to join their team. Multiple exemptions had been made to allow him to join, and Morgan could see why now, the kid was a genius and very good at crime solving. Despite his initial hesitancy he had grown close to Spencer, taking on the role of a protective older brother in his life.

“Must be some friend, or is it a date?” Morgan smirked at him, raising his eyebrows.

Spencer froze before muttering “it’s not a date.” Morgan sent him a confused look at his change in demeanour. Their conversation was interrupted by a middle aged man entering the bullpen.

“Spence, come on,” the man called out, smiling over at him.

Morgan’s confusion deepened “who’s that, your dad?”

“Um, no. He’s my friend,” Spencer said before walking off. Morgan’s eyes followed him and watched Spencer and the man hug and leave. Morgan was confused, this man was so much older than Reid, but then again so was the rest of the team, and they were all friends with him. Morgan shook off his weird feeling and continued with his work, putting Spencer and the man out of his mind.

*

Morgan couldn’t put it off his mind for long, Spencer introduced him to the man, who he now knew to be named Arthur Wilson. Arthur was a professor of Spencer’s at Cal-tech, and he had transferred to work at Georgetown. Arthur had come along to some of the team's outings. His relationship with Spencer made Morgan uncomfortable. The way he would look at Spencer, with desire, and the way he would prolong any physical contact they had. It brought back painful memories of his own relationship with Carl Buford. Morgan had decided to voice his concerns to Hotch.

“Hotch? I need to talk to you,” Morgan said, shutting Hotch’s office door. Hotch looked up expectedly from the paper he was looking at.

“It’s about Reid and Arthur,” Morgan began.

“What about them?”

“It’s just… it’s weird, their relationship,”

Hotch narrowed his eyes “what are you implying?”

“I just… don’t like the way he looks at Reid and touches him,” Morgan explained.

“Morgan, we can’t just accuse him of something. They probably just have a close relationship, Reid told me how much Arthur helped him with getting settled at Cal-tech,”

“Can we just ask Spencer?” Morgan almost begged, “Just to be sure.”

Hotch sighed before nodding “Okay.”

*

Spencer sat down in Hotch’s office looking back and forward to Morgan and then Hotch.

“Why did you want to see me?” He asked, confused.

“Reid… Spencer,” Hotch started, “we just wanted to ask you something.”

“What?”

“What exactly is your relationship with Arthur like?” Morgan blurted out bluntly.

Spencer tensed, “he’s like a mentor, you know?” his voice was controlled, too controlled.

“Reid, I’m just going to ask. Has Arthur ever been inappropriate with you,” Hotch questioned, his eyes studying him.

Spencer got a panicked look on his face “No! Why would you think that? He never did anything to me.”

Morgan saw the pained look that flashed across Spencer’s face as he said that.

“I think you’re lying,” Morgan stated.

Spencer shook his head, rocking back and forth.

“Spencer,” Hotch took on a reassuring tone, “You can tell us.”

Spencer simply shook his head, looking down when a tear fell from his eye.

“Reid, we can tell something is wrong. Please tell us,” Morgan pleaded.

Spencer bit down on his fist before finally answering, “it’s not as bad as you think. He did so much for me, so when he wanted that, I couldn’t say no,”

Morgan closed his eyes, a pained expression coming onto his face. Hotch tried to conceal his shock and anger.

“Spencer, he knew you were vulnerable and took advantage of that. You know that is how predators work,” Hotch told him looking him in the eyes.

Spencer simply shook his head and crossed his arms.

“Hotch, can I talk to Reid alone,” Morgan asked, turning to Hotch. Hotch nodded and left the room. Morgan sat down beside Spencer.

“Reid, I’m going to tell you something I’ve never told anyone,” Morgan paused, continuing when Spencer nodded, “when I was 13 I had a football coach who took advantage of me.” Morgan watched as Spencer’s eyes widened in shock. “I never told anyone what happened because he had done so much for me, I had to repay him. But that’s not true Spencer, I didn’t owe him anything, and you don’t owe Arthur anything. You don’t have to let this continue.”

“Yes I do, he helped me so much,” Spencer sobbed.

“No, Spencer. Please believe me, let me help you,”

Spencer looked into Morgan’s pleading eyes, seeing pain and sadness in them and most surprisingly tears.

“Okay,” he whispered quietly. Morgan let out a sigh of relief and leaned over to hug him.

Part 2

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Masterlist

[verai-marcel]

Serendipitous Meetings (Arthur x GN!Reader, Modern AU, 18+)

Summary: You foolishly didn’t mark where you parked in the huge parking structure, and spend some time looking for your car. You run into a fellow who did the same thing, and things get ridiculously serendipitous from there.

Author’s Notes: How many tropes can I shove into this fic? Let’s face it, I just wanted to have Arthur fuck like the manly man that he is. Also going for gender neutral as much as possible, so all my readers who want a piece of Arthur can have him.

Tags: Arthur x GN!Reader, smut, light D/s tones, size kink, light spanking, neck grabbing, rough sex, dirty talk, modern AU

AO3 Link is here, li’l darlin’.

Word Count: 3764

--------------------

"Shit."

You let out a long suffering sigh as you looked around the packed parking structure. In your rush to meet your friends, you had forgotten to take a photo of where you parked. Now you stared at the large expanse of cars, racking your brain for at least a slight memory of how you got to the venue entrance from your car. 

Sticking your hand into your pocket, you gripped your phone for a moment before letting it go. You had already shooed your friends away, insisting you had parked nearby and could get to your spot no problem. Swallowing your pride, you started to search the rows for the off-white bucket of bolts you dared to call your car. 

After searching one floor, you trudged up the stairs to the next one, stopping a few steps past the landing to gaze upon the hundreds of cars before you. You faintly heard another set of steps coming down the stairwell, but you were so mired in your own despair that you didn't pay the sound any mind. 

"Shit," said a gravelly voice next to you. 

Glancing over, a very broad set of shoulders filled your view. Your eyes flicked over the red and black flannel shirt and blue jeans, with an almost hilariously large belt buckle. Then you looked up. 

Oh no. He was gorgeous, in a rugged, manly-man sort of way. That chiseled jaw, the five o’clock shadow, that thick neck… he was the kind of man who could probably pick you up and throw you over his shoulder with ease. You were so busy staring at him in tired awe that he finally noticed you.

A pair of turquoise eyes met yours. "Sorry," the man said. "Can't find my truck."

It took you half a second to remember to respond. Then you gave him an empathic half-grin. "I can't find my car either."

He pointed upstairs. "What's yer car look like? Maybe I saw it up there."

You shook your head. "It's just a generic off-white Toyota Corolla."

The man shrugged. "Oh. Well, sorry darlin', there's a bunch of those up there."

You sighed, lamenting the fact that your car was one of the most popular cars out on the road these days. You also secretly enjoyed him calling you darling with that accent of his. He sounded like he had just stepped out of a spaghetti western. 

"Maybe I saw your truck downstairs, if it stands out," you said, trying to be helpful. 

"It's a blue Chevy pick-up. Really old, like one o' them classic trucks, 'cept it ain't been cleaned up like the ones you see in a car show."

Your memory flashed with the image of a dirty blue truck in your apartment complex's garage. You stifled a laugh at the thought. You had always wondered who drove the old thing, since you had never seen its owner. 

"Nope, I didn't see a truck like that downstairs," you told him. 

"Oh. Well, guess we better start lookin'," he said. He looked at you for a moment, opened his mouth, then closed it again.

You waited.

“Maybe,” he finally said, “maybe we could look together? For a bit. Keep each other company.”

“Okay,” you said easily. Part of your brain screamed that it could be really easy for him to just pull you into his car, but you dismissed the voice in your head. He seemed alright; you had a good feeling about this guy.

The two of you took off towards the left side of the structure. Putting your remote under your chin and hoping it would actually increase its range, you hit the button on occasion. 

“Uh, what’re you doin’?” he asked, pointing at your remote.

“Oh, I read about this online, someone figured out that you can use your own head as an antenna, or something like that.”

The man raised an eyebrow, but eventually just nodded. “Huh, I guess that makes sense.”

You shrugged. “Haven’t tested it before this, so I’m hoping it actually works.”

The two of you wandered further and further towards the center when finally you heard that familiar beep. 

*BEEP BEEP*

He chuckled. “Guess it works.”

You had never been so happy to hear that annoying little buzzer of a horn. You took off at a jog without waiting for the man, going towards where you had heard the sound, and as you turned a corner, you spotted it. 

It was the big, old, blue truck from your apartment complex. 

No way, you thought. There is no way. Maybe it's a similar truck. 

Going back, you saw the man wandering around, still searching. 

"Hey Mister!" you yelled. 

He turned towards you. 

You excitedly pointed towards the truck. "This yours?" 

He started walking to you, and as he came closer, you could see the smile on his face and felt your heart skip a beat. 

"Thank you," he said, stopping in front of you. "Where’s your car?"

You grinned and hit your unlock button. The little off-white sedan next to his truck let out a little beep, the lights coming on. 

"Wish I had one of those," he said wistfully. "Sure woulda made my life easier." He looked at you with a small smirk as he opened the door to his truck. "But then I wouldn’t have met you. Thanks fer your help, angel."

You smiled, feeling your cheeks warm from his comment. "No problem." You struggled to find anything else to say, feeling pathetically desperate to hear him speak more. "Have a good night," you finally said. 

"You too," he said, his voice a little lower, a little more breathy as he hauled himself into his truck and closed the door. Now that you had a pretty good feeling that he was a decent guy and not a creep, you half-wished he really would pull you into his truck and have his way with you. 

Shaking the lewd thought from your head, you got into your car and set up your phone to listen to a podcast as you drove home. You eased your way out of the garage, through the local roads, and onto the freeway. For the next thirty minutes, you would spot the same blue truck out of the corner of your eye. Sometimes you’d pass him, sometimes he’d pass you. 

Maybe it’s a different blue truck, you tried to convince yourself.

You couldn’t convince yourself any further when you pulled into your apartment complex right behind him. He parked at his usual spot, three away from yours. Climbing out of your car, you saw him walk towards you.

“You followin’ me?” he asked gruffly, though the grin on his face clearly showed his amusement at the coincidence.

“I can’t believe we live in the same complex,” you muttered, still in shock that you had never seen this handsome man before. “How long have you lived here?”

“Oh, ‘bout two years now.”

“Shit,” you thought to yourself.

“Why’re you cursin’?”

Oh crap. You said that out loud. “I, uh, um,” you stammered.

He quietly watched you, letting you stew in your own embarrassment, an amused grin on his face. The bastard was enjoying watching you squirm!

Feeling your face heat up, you blurted out the truth.

“We could’ve known each other sooner!”

It was an unfortunate tick in your personality that you had never managed to get rid of, and now, watching his eyes widen at your embarrassing remark, you wished the sidewalk would just open up and swallow you whole. But since that wasn’t going to happen, you opted to turn around and stalk away.

“Hey now, wait, you can’t just say that and leave,” the man said, jogging to catch up to you. When you wouldn’t stop walking, he swerved in front of you, forcing you to stop mere millimeters from him. You noticed how big he was, how little you were in comparison. You weren’t a small person by any means, he was just… large.

“Why’re you runnin’ away, darlin’?” he asked, his voice hushed as if he was trying to calm a wild animal. Perhaps with the way you acted, you seemed that way to him.

You took a deep breath, accidentally inhaling his scent, a mix of pine trees and a subtle hint of campfire smoke and musk that made you want to bury your face in his chest and stay there. Desire shot straight between your legs, reminding you that it had been a long time since you’d been with anyone. Letting out a shaky breath, you made the poor choice of looking up at him.

You were blinded by his kind smile and seduced by his deep voice. “Do you want to know me?” he asked quietly. 

“Yes, I do,” you answered immediately.

He pointed to his apartment. “I live there. Want to share some whiskey?"

You paused. He was a stranger. 

A stranger with beautiful eyes and the sweetest smile you had ever seen. 

You followed him willingly into his den. 

***

You blinked after he turned on the lights. When your vision cleared, your expectations were, fortunately, not met at all.

You had expected a bachelor pad with junk everywhere and clothing on the floor. What you saw was a clean and neat living room with a simple couch and a TV on top of a small entertainment center that held a few blu-rays and a blu-ray player. The short table in front of the couch had a plate on it, a smudge of ketchup and some crumbs on it, and a glass with a little bit of water left.

The man went to pick up after himself, putting the dirty dishes in the sink before going to his pantry. His kitchen looked pretty bare, except for the dried herbs, tied up in bunches under his cabinets. 

While he shuffled around bottles, you went to sit on his couch, but not before pausing for a moment to look through the door to his bedroom. He had a bed that looked big and comfy, his sheets somewhat askew but otherwise in place. Didn’t look like there were any clothes or boxes lying around anywhere. So either the man was tidy, or he didn’t own a lot of things.

“Curious li’l one, ain’tcha?” he chuckled behind you.

Spinning around, you could only give him a sheepish grin. “Yup, sorry. I couldn’t help myself.”

He smiled and gave you a tumbler of amber liquid with a giant sphere of ice. “Curiosity like that could get you in trouble one day,” he said mysteriously, gesturing towards the couch.

You raised an eyebrow, but sat down anyway. You took a sip of the ice cold whiskey, enjoying its slow burn down your throat. It was smooth and sweet. “This is fantastic, what is it?”

“It’s a blackberry flavored whiskey,” he replied as he settled himself on the couch, a little closer to you than you had expected. “I thought you might like it.”

“Oh?” You leaned in a little closer. “And why is that?”

“Somethin’ a li’l sweet fer a li’l sweetheart,” he said with a grin. He knew he was being schmaltzy, but you didn’t care. You were eating up his words, spoken with that deep rumble that went right between your legs.

You continued to sip and make small talk with him until your ice had melted and the late night had become the witching hour. But he didn’t seem to mind, and you wanted to stay.

“You got a bit o’ whiskey here,” he said as he leaned in and reached for the corner of your lips, his thumb catching the drop that had escaped your last sip. You flicked out your tongue to catch him, and your eyes met. A heartbeat passed. The whiskey gave you strength.

Taking his hand in yours, you surged forward and kissed his lips, tasting whiskey and his woodsy scent. A low moan came from deep within him, but he did not reach for you. His hands gripped the cushions as he let you take the lead, climbing into his lap and wrapping your arms around him, your fingers kneading his broad shoulders. You kissed the breath from him, desperate to feel him against you.

When you finally broke away for air, you stared at his eyes, now filled with lust and longing, and realized you didn’t even know his name. 

He came to the same conclusion. “What’s yer name, darlin’?”

You told him.

He nodded and repeated your name. It sounded so good when he said it. “Feels nice to say it out loud,” he said. “I’m Arthur,” he added as he wrapped his arms around you and held you tenderly. “How far do you want to go?”

“All the way,” you said, grinding your hips against his groin, making him take a shuddered breath.

Without a word, he picked you up and carried you to his big, comfy bed. He dropped you unceremoniously and took off his shirt.

He was ripped. He was built like a man who had worked all his life in a physical job, carrying & lifting. With his tall stature, his broad shoulders, and his huge arms, he made you feel small.

You had never been more aroused in your whole life. 

Your body was ready to be thoroughly fucked by this man, and you hadn’t even taken your clothes off yet. You watched hungrily as he undid his belt and dropped his jeans & boxers, your eyes taking in his size. He wasn’t even at full mast yet, and you already wondered if you’d be able to take him all in.

“Your turn, darlin’.”

Taken out of your trance, you took off your clothes as he watched. You started at a normal pace, but when you saw him take himself in his hand and stroke himself while watching you with a lustful gaze, you slowed down, making an attempt to tease him. Already topless, you lay back on the bed and lifted your legs up, sliding your pants upwards. Slowly, you exposed your ass to him, winking salaciously.

He stroked himself a little faster. A soft moan escaped his lips. “Darlin’, yer makin’ it real hard fer me to stay in control here.”

You glanced down at him. “I can see it’s real hard,” you said with a playful smirk.

“Oh, yer goin’ ta get it now,” he said, his grin becoming predatory as he climbed onto the bed. Grabbing the rest of your clothes, he pulled them from you, flinging them over his shoulder before flipping you onto your belly. He gripped your ass and squeezed hard before giving you a firm spank.

“Ooh!” you yelped. 

“You want more?” he asked as his hand soothed over his mark.

You could tell he was asking for permission. Turning back to him, you gave him your best pouty face. “Does Sir think I need more?”

Arthur looked immensely pleased with your response. “I think so,” he said, his voice deepening with a thread of command that turned you on beyond belief. He straddled your legs and rested one hand on the curve of your ass. “I told you, curiosity would get you in trouble.”

He spanked you hard once more. “That’s fer sneakin’ glances into my room,” he said. He gave you three more swipes, each in slightly different areas so you wouldn’t get too sore. Then he grabbed your ass with both hands and massaged your muscles, spreading you open as he thrust his cock along the cleft of your rear.

“Yer so obedient, sweetheart,” he murmured as his hips rocked, his eyes fluttering shut for a few moments. Then with his strong grip, he manhandled you onto your back, wrapping his big hands around you and pulling you into his arms. He cradled you for a sweet, gentle moment before rolling you around like you were as light as a pillow before setting you back down onto the mattress. He leaned over you as he reached for the nightstand, pulling out a condom. You watched him slip it on, but he didn’t move to enter you. Instead, he reached down and began to stroke you as he loomed above, watching your reactions.

You moaned and writhed under his deliberate exploration. His hands traveled languidly along every inch of you. When he found a sensitive area that elicited a soft noise of pleasure from you, he lingered, making you whimper and lean into his touch. He finally touched you lower, where you longed for his attention, but to your frustration he continued his study at the same leisurely pace. Soon his strokes became faster and he pressed harder against you. His eyes nearly glowed as he watched you lift your hips towards his hands, imploring him for more. Using his new knowledge to his advantage, he brought you to the brink and then shifted his touch elsewhere, making you cool off before working you back up again until you were going insane with need.

“Please, please Arthur, I need to come,” you begged.

He only smiled as he slipped a finger inside of you. He slowly worked you open enough for two of his fingers, then three. Soon he was dragging you to the edge again, and you hadn’t even had his cock. You were feeling like you were being denied the thing you wanted most.

“Arthur,” you whispered, “I want your cock.”

“Louder, darlin’.”

“I want your cock!”

“And what do you want me to do with it?”

“Fuck me!”

“Say it again. All of it.”

“Fuck me with your cock!”

His smile was wolfish, satisfied that he had heard you beg for your desire. Pressing the head of his shaft against your opening, he pushed, easing his way inside of you.

You were right. He was big, long, and oh so thick. He stretched you deliciously, and you keened softly as he took you, claimed you, made you his in the most carnal of ways. He reached up and slipped his hand under your head, gripping your hair at the base and pulling slightly. 

“Eyes on me, darlin’. I want to see you while I’m takin’ you,” he murmured.

You couldn’t look away from him. His look was intense, as if he commanded your entire being, your body his to use for his pleasure. And you willingly gave it to him, letting him sheathe his entire length inside of you. He held you still while your body adjusted to his claim, watching you with an almost proud expression.

“Good li’l darlin’,” he said as he leaned over. He kissed you gently on the lips, then on the forehead, and as if he was overcome with affection for you, peppered kisses along the curve of your cheek and down your neck.

“I’m goin’ to fuck you now,” he whispered into your ear. “You tell me to slow if it’s too much for ya, alright?”

You nodded, sure that whatever he was about to do to you, you could handle it.

He lifted himself up onto his forearms, his hands framing your face. “You look so damn cute,” he murmured before his hips slowly pulled back. “So fuckable.”

Arthur slammed his cock deep inside of you with one forceful stroke. He immediately looked down at you when you let out a cry of surprise. He waited, quietly checking in.

“More,” you whispered.

You thought you saw relief cross his features before he gave you a teasing smirk. “Ask me nicely and I just might give it to ya.”

“Please sir,” you begged, “I need more.”

Arthur gave you a single nod before rocking his hips, building you up slowly, his gaze nearly burning a hole into you with their intensity. As your body stretched and accommodated him, you clawed at his arms, greedily clamoring for him to speed up. He let out a feral growl before wrapping a big, rough hand around your neck, his other hand gripping your leg and spreading you wider for him. 

"You think you can take more, darlin'?" 

You looked up at him and smiled a challenge. 

He began a ferocious pace, angling himself to take you as deep as he could go. All you could focus on was the impact of his body against yours, his thick shaft filling you over and over, unrelenting as a tidal wave.

Soon he let go of your neck so he could sit up and grip your hips with both of his hands. He was fucking the breath out of you with each hard thrust, the sound of his hips slamming against yours filling the room with a lewd rhythm, intertwined with your breathy cries and his low moans of pleasure.

He reached down and stroked you, his touch rough and vigorous, matching the way he was ravaging you in a haze of lust. You could feel yourself sprinting towards that delicious finish line. The end was in sight as your hips jerked wildly, your legs wrapping around Arthur as he thrust even harder and deeper than before. 

"Come fer me," he murmured. "I want to feel you lose yerself around my cock."

You screamed as his words broke the dam that was holding back a torrent of pleasure, your climax tearing through your body at breakneck speed. Your legs stiffened, your toes curled, and your fingers dug into his very muscled biceps as you came harder than you ever had. You shook with aftershocks as Arthur continued to thrust, his hands letting go of your hips as he fell upon his forearms, caging you in as he chased his pleasure. 

"Fuck sweetheart, I'm comin'," he moaned before he buried his head into the crook of your neck. He gave three more erratic thrusts, then nearly crushed you with his weight as he pressed his hips against yours, keeping himself inside of you for as long as he could. 

A breathless moment passed, the two of you trying to catch that elusive breath. Arthur rolled off of you, quickly gathering you into his arms as he tumbled onto his side. 

"Goddamn," he finally muttered. "Wasn't expectin' to have such good company."

You turned in his arms so you could see the wide grin on his face. "For once, I'm glad I got lost in the parking lot."

He kissed your forehead. "Me too, darlin'. But let's make sure we don't get lost again." He found your hands under the covers, brought them up to his lips, and kissed your fingertips. 

"After all, I only just found you, my li'l darlin'."

--------------------

End Notes: Been a while, and of course, all of my pent-up lust just came streaming out of me in a flurry of words and phrases. Hope it’s still hot enough for you, my lovely readers!

[mayihavethisdanse]

“What is this, the Dark Ages?”

Or, Arthurian themes and allusions in the Brotherhood of Steel mythos as seen in Fallout 4. (But that’s a lot of words.)

Yep. We're doing this. 

First, some obligatory caveats: there is no single Arthurian canon, just 1500 years of assorted fanfic based on the whims of whoever was writing at the time. For this extremely highbrow Tumblr meta, I have ignored most of it and drawn on my favorites. Also Wikipedia.

Also, I am not an expert in Arthurian literature (or Fallout lore, come to that), and I preemptively beg the pardon of anyone who is.

Finally, in no way am I claiming that all these parallels and thematic echoes are deliberate or even significant. In fact, I'd break it down into:

Clearly deliberate allusions, whether in or out of universe;

Probably coincidence, but could be someone deliberately capitalizing on a coincidental similarity;

Almost certainly coincidence, but fun to speculate about; annnnd

Blatant Monty Python references. (Because of course there are.)

I'll start with the big one.

Arthur Maxson, boy king and unifier

(source)

So across all the retellings and variations of King Arthur’s life story, there are a few consistent elements, particularly in his early life and rise to power. Some of these threads are echoed in the Fallout universe, specifically (and unsurprisingly) in the person of Arthur Maxson.

Both the legendary King Arthur and Arthur Maxson were born with a claim to power lying in their ancestry, both were fostered away from their families, and both proved themselves in combat at a young age. 

King Arthur united the warring kingdoms of Britain into a single entity, making them stronger against outsiders and receiving general admiration and acclaim. Arthur Maxson united the divided factions of the BoS after the events of Fallout 3 and is held in similarly high regard by his men.

The name Prydwen is a reference to the ship of the original King Arthur. Presumably, Arthur Maxson (or someone in the BoS who anticipated his promotion) christened the airship in a deliberate homage to the Arthurian myth.

King Arthur is associated with his legendary sword. I think it’s notable that Maxson’s legend is associated with a bladed weapon, too. ("He killed a DEATHCLAW with a COMBAT KNIFE!”)

Probably coincidence, but fun: the historical emperor Magnus Maximus, who pops up a lot in early Arthurian legend, was known in Welsh as... Macsen. (⌐■_■)

Round Table, but make it dieselpunk

(Continued under the cut.)

Moving away from obvious allusions and into some looser parallels:

Like the Round Table, the Brotherhood is an exclusive knightly order with its leader being the one able to open it up to his chosen few.

Like the Round Table, the BoS sees itself as defending human civilization against forces of chaos. (I’ll touch on their tech-hoarding tendencies when I get to the Grail stuff.) This idea of civilization in the face of chaos goes back to the BoS’s founding, even though the level of isolationism we see in most of the Fallout franchise is not exactly what founder Roger Maxson had in mind: “Notably, Maxson's ultimate intention was to establish the Brotherhood as an organization that works closely with people outside of the Brotherhood, as guardians of civilizations, not its gatekeepers.” (source) In a lot of ways, Arthur Maxson represents a return to his ancestor’s original ideals.

Renegade knights? Internal politics? Traitors within? We gotchu.

In both the medieval legends and in all chapters of the BoS we’ve seen, there’s a big focus on bloodlines (ew). Ironically, it’s probably Arthur Maxson’s unquestionable ancestry that allows him to be more progressive than either of his East Coast predecessors when it comes to boosting Brotherhood numbers by recruitment (even though you can still see a clear division between “born Brotherhood” and recruited soldiers, but that’s a topic for another day). Maxson sees himself as an Elder who "cares for the people"—however misguided and patronizing that attitude might be—and whatever else you might say about the guy, you can't say he doesn't believe he has a duty. Which brings us to…

Know Your Enemy: Danse as Gawain

Before I start this section, an acknowledgement of authorial bias:

Gawain, as portrayed in the Middle English poem Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, is my very favorite of King Arthur’s knights. (Other stories aren't always as flattering, but like I said at the outset: I'm sticking to the ones I like.)

That poem is my very favorite piece of medieval Arthurian literature. In this section, I'll refer to the modern English translation by Simon Armitage.

...that’s it, I have no other biases to disclose. 

What? 👀

(Art: Clive Hicks-Jenkins)

All right. So in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, you’ve got this himbo loyal knight of Arthur’s who finds himself caught up in... you know what, let me just paste in the Wikipedia summary. (The Toast, RIP, also did a pretty entertaining and more-or-less accurate recap.)

It describes how Sir Gawain, a knight of King Arthur's Round Table, accepts a challenge from a mysterious "Green Knight" who dares any knight to strike him with his axe if he will take a return blow in a year and a day. Gawain accepts and beheads him with his blow, at which the Green Knight stands up, picks up his head and reminds Gawain of the appointed time. In his struggles to keep his bargain, Gawain demonstrates chivalry and loyalty until his honour is called into question by a test involving the lord and the lady of the castle where he is a guest.

Don’t worry too much about the plot details, though; for this post, I’m more interested in the thematic parallels. The Green Knight story is full of contrasts: order vs. chaos, civilization vs. wilderness, mortal man vs. Other... but let’s start with Gawain himself. 

Some stuff to know about Gawain:

He was "as good as the purest gold, devoid of vices but virtuous and loyal". Gawain took his principles more seriously even than the rest of Arthur’s knights, not out of pride but out of humility: "I would rather drop dead than default from duty," he says. 

He’s faithful and honorable and never even tempted to betray an oath, even when offered every variety of seduction and riches, except for a single moment of weakness in a desperate desire not to be executed for random shit by powerful forces for reasons he doesn't understand.  

Even though he doesn’t really understand why he needs to die, he sticks to his oath. Gawain's one weakness is a moment of desperate, private, human desire for survival. He'll submit to the headsman’s axe if he has to, but he'd still rather live. 

Above all, Gawain is the ideal of a human man: he might be the bravest and loyal man there is, but he’s still fundamentally human.

You can probably see where I'm going with this.

A few more fun facts about Gawain that resonate with Paladin Danse’s story:

He’s got a bunch of really shitty brothers. (No comment.)

Gawain (SPOILERS!) doesn't actually end up beheaded, but he does willingly kneel for his execution and gets a cut on the throat as a reminder of his sin. And, uh, Danse can also get his throat cut! It doesn’t end as nicely but it’s, you know, a thing that can happen.

Gawain might be a really good guy, and he tries really hard to be one, but in the end he’s nothing more than that: there’s nothing supernatural about him, he has no special powers beyond his own principles and devotion. He’s just a dude doing his Best. 

Wait, why not Danselot?

Oh, that guy? Here’s the thing.

Lancelot personifies the continental ideals of courtly love that became popular in the High Middle Ages. Central to his story is the prioritization of personal relationships and romantic feelings in a way that you don’t really see in Gawain's, at least in the Green Knight tale. (Later stories hook Gawain up with an extremely delightful lady, but even that is a different flavor of romance than Lancelot's and has more to do with Gawain honoring his word and his egalitarian treatment of women (hell yeah). In the poem, Gawain is impressed by Bertilak's wife but resists her temptation; in fact, the biggest risk is not that he'll yield to her advances but that he'll be discourteous to her, i.e., violate his principles and cause dishonor to his king and his host.)

Lancelot is driven by passions over principles in a way that Gawain never really is (at least in the stories I’m talking about; later writers have committed character assassination to various degrees). Yes, you could argue that both Gawain and Lancelot betray their oaths, but Lancelot’s betrayal is never, um, blind. He knows what he’s doing and makes a deliberate choice to prioritize his love for the queen over his love for the king. It doesn’t make him a bad guy—he too is an ideal knight with one fatal flaw—but his character isn’t as comparable to Paladin Danse. 

Yeah, Gawain is (in most stories) a prince and a kinsman of Arthur’s, but he’s ultimately a native boy who doesn’t break the mold of a Knight of the Round Table. Likewise, Danse is portrayed as competent and valuable to the BoS, but not exceptional or breaking the mold of what a BoS soldier should be: he simply represents the ideal. Meanwhile, Lancelot is a foreign prince who was marked from childhood as special and fancy, and his storyline goes alllll over the place. (Much like this post.)

For example, Lancelot goes to absolutely absurd extremes to prove his devotion for no other reason than to prove it. (“I’ll do any useless humiliating thing you want. I’ll betray every oath except the one I made to you. That’s what love is!”) Gawain would never. Danse would never.

Ultimately, Gawain's tests are of his character and not of his love. And like Gawain, Danse’s devotion is to service and his principles, not to another person—even Arthur Maxson.

All that said, there are some similarities: both are beloved by Arthur, both are held up as the ideal of what a knight should be. And even if their fatal flaws are different, both make the point that no matter how good and brave and loyal they might be, no human being can be perfect. 

(Except Galahad. Who is, as a result, very boring.) 

I’ll conclude this section with a quote from someone else’s take on the Greek Knight poem:

I like Gawain. He’s not perfect, but he’s trying his best which is all any of us can do. He’s not like the other knights in the Arthurian legends who occasionally ‘accidentally’ kill women on their little adventures and then feel hard done by when they have to deal with the consequences of that. Gawain holds himself to a high standard – higher, it seems, than Arthur and his knights hold him to considering how hard they laugh when Gawain tells them how bad he feels about the whole thing.

I think Gawain is very relatable in this story. We all want to be better than we actually are.

And that, more than anything else, is Danse.

The Grail myth

What’s that? Lost relics of power? Better send some large armed men after ‘em!

The parallels to the BoS’s tech-hoarding ways are obvious enough that the games themselves lampshade them (albeit by way of Monty Python). But it also ties into the larger themes of “purity” versus “corruption” and the BoS’s self-image as a bastion between civilization and chaos. (See Maxson's line in response to the Sole Survivor’s quip about the Dark Ages: “Judging from the state of the world, it wouldn't be a stretch to say we're living in that era again.”)

But the ultimate futility of the Grail mission is also worthy of note. The BoS might want the power of prewar tech on their side, but they’re no more to be trusted with it than any other group of human beings. No matter how they try, the “corruption” of humanity can’t be overcome as long as they’re striving to harness power for their own ends. You can only achieve power by surrendering control of it.

The death of Arthur

The nature of gameplay being what it is, it's not guaranteed that the Arthur figure will be fatally betrayed, bringing Camelot down with him—but it's not unlikely, either.

Awkward.

Some final spitballing:

Outside the Brotherhood, there are some fun parallels of the Arthur myth with the rest of Fallout 4. Betrayal by one’s own son, for example.

The key difference between the BoS and the legendary Round Table: King Arthur’s knights, for all their flaws and human weaknesses, are usually presented as unambiguous Good Guys. The BoS is... a little more ambiguous...

...but damn if they don’t think they're the good guys. 

A-ad victoriam, fellas!

[hadjalterdoneanythingwrong]

TYPE: LIVE SURVEILLANCE FEED [CONTINGENCY RECORD]

PARTIES: Five [5]. One Heroic Spirit, Class Saber, designate Artoria Pendragon [ap]; One Heroic Spirit, Class Saber, designate Mordred Pendragon [mp]; One Heroic Spirit, Class Shielder, designate Mash Kyrielight [mk]; One Heroic Spirit, Class Saber, designate [REDACTED] [S]; One Master, designate Ritsuka Fujimaru [c]

ASSOCIATIONS: [REDACTED]; Pendragon, Artoria; Muramasa, Senji; du Soleil, Gawain; du Lac, Lancelot; du Cygne, Percival; Kyrielight, Galahad; Kyrielight, Mash; de Listenois, Lamorak; Fujimaru, Ritsuka; Avtalos, Ayamari

//AUDIO PRESERVED//

//TRANSCRIPT FOLLOWS.../

[ap:01] Mordred, good. You're here.

[mp:01] Hey, dad. They happen to tell you what this is all about?

[ap:02] I believe Mash mentioned something about a Heroic Spirit that was recently summoned. Perhaps another Knight of the Round?

[mp:02] Wouldn't they have called every knight we have if it was? Has to be a reason it's just us.

[ap:03] ...Do you think it might be an intervention?

[mp:03] Oh, totally. There is definitely some kinda ~Pendragon family counseling~ waiting for us right behind this—

[silence]

[mp:04] ...You don't think—

[ap:04] No. No. There's...

[mp:05] There's no way they'd call us if they summoned... her, right?

[ap:05] No, no, even if they did, it would be just to show us the Rare Prisms.

[silence]

[mp:06] ...Implying she'd be worth more than one.

[ap:06] Imagine.

[mk:01] Um... I think we're ready.

[mp:07] ...Ready?

[ap:07] Ready for what?

[mk:02] It's... better just to show you.

[audible footsteps]

[ap:08] Ritsuka? What— ...What is—

[c:01] I know this may be hard for you two to understand... and I just want to assure you two that everything's going to be alright.

[mp:08] I... don't get it. The hell are you talking about?

[c:02] I understand that this may be throwing everything you know out the window. That this might even be causing some level of an existential crisis. Especially for you, Artoria.

[ap:09] I'm... not sure we follow, Ritsuka. Is there something we're missing?

[silence]

[c:03] ...Do you not see him?

[mp:09] Who are we supposed to be seeing?

[c:04] How can you not see him, he's— DUDE.

[audible cluttering noises]

[audible things getting tossed]

[audible confusion]

[c:05] DUDE HE WAS JUST HERE.

[ap:10] I'm sorry... who was?

[sonic boom]

[mk:03] Senpai... that sounded like it came from the cafeteria.

[c:06] Oh my fucking god of course it did.

[audible hurried footsteps]

[audible hurried footsteps]

[audible hurried footsteps]

[c:07] I can't believe him, I can't fucking— I shouldn't be this mad, he's a cool guy, I should've had things prepared earlier, god, why did they put me in charge of this, again??

[mk:04] To be fair, Senpai, you are kind of the most well-versed in his history out of everyone here...

[c:08] Look, here he is.

[mk:05] Is that... Cat with a mountain of—

[audible scream]

[mp:10] Dad!!

[audible... whooshy noises?]

[S:01] Sorry for scaring you earlier, lady. Though I don't know if I can say the same about the other "Blue Blur" in the room right now.

[whoosh]

[S:02] So you're that "King Arthur" I've been told about, huh? Sure hope you don't plan on jumping on a horse and trying to cut me into pieces like the last one.

[audible stuttering]

[audible failure at speech]

[audible squeak]

[mp:11] Don't mind her. It's early for all of us. Pretty sure I know who you are, but literal identity theft is surprisingly not uncommon here. So just to be sure, you are...?

[S:03] I getcha. Had a plumber friend who had his body stolen by a paper ghost, once. Said it was the most horrifying thing he'd ever gone through. ...Well, sure hope I am who you think I am, 'cause the name's Sonic. Sonic the Hedgehog!

[audible handshake]

[mp:12] Mordred Pendragon. Son of King Arthur. ...Big fan.

/...END TRANSCRIPT//

[twilightdruig]

help?

pairing : george weasley x fem!reader

summary : “hi i’m your neighbor and while i know we’ve never spoken but you’re a single parent of two and my sister recently died leaving me to raise her infant and i have no idea what i’m doing, help?” au

warnings : swearing , mentions of character deaths , fluff , au where george lives alone with his two children in a cottage near the burrow , au where fred and cedric live.

words : 2.6k

a/n : this is my first fic so it’s probably gonna be shit (as you can probably tell i’m not good with titles either) but yeah hope you enjoy :> and i might do a little part 2 on this soon

holly l/n was loved by multiple. a sweet hufflepuff student who was favored by all the teachers and students. her sister, y/n was a scary and intimidating gryffindor who hung out in the library.

ever since the battle of hogwarts death eaters have been imprisoned in azkaban. but, that didn’t mean all harm was gone.

now here y/n l/n was, standing in the heat of the summer, her nephew connor l/n mourning the death of a family member.

the service was beautiful. a few hogwarts students came including luna lovegood and neville longbottom and professor sprout and professor flitwick decided to pay their respects. headmistress mcgonagall sent her condolences through a letter as well.

conner wasn’t old enough to go to hogwarts yet. there was no one else for holly to leave connor with. her husband, ronan died during the war, all connor’s grandparents died and the only appointed godparents were holly’s best friend cedric diggory and her sister y/n.

cedric diggory was now teaching first year flying at hogwarts and is married to cho chang.

y/n was currently doing nothing with her life. she wanted to live alone in a cottage, reading, stitching, picking apples and getting drunk on fruity cocktails. but now? she had to take care of her sister’s spoiled son.

y/n hated children more than she hated the people in her own hogwarts house. more so, she didn’t know how to take care of them.

she had to enroll her nephew in hogwarts, teach him basic life skills and other stuff like that. there goes her life goal on being that cool stoner aunt that hates love and children.

—

“shit, connor!” y/n exclaimed as her 3 year old nephew accidentally ate a ton tongue toffee made by the joke shop in diagon alley owned by the weasleys.

“sorry aunty y/n”

she was never close to the weasleys. all of them, stereotypical gryffindors, loud and chaotic and always the main characters.

the only thing she knew about them is that one of the twins live next to her. y/n didn’t know how to shrink his tongue and thought it was quite the convenience that he lives next door. he was a single dad with two daughters, maybe he could help her control her nephew and technically her adopted son, now.

she sighed. “put on your coat, we’re visiting our neighbors, ok con?” the little boy nodded in response

—

went the small cottage came into view, there were two little girls picking flowers on the front yard and a tall red-headed man on the porch watching them.

“hey! weasley!” she yelled with a small smile as she approached the small gate.

“l/n? what are you doing here?” george asked

y/n gestured to her nephew who was holding his now 3 foot long tongue. “he accidentally ate one of your products and i’m not entirely sure how to fix it”

“right, right” he laughed “come on, connor right? i’ll reverse that”

y/n felt a tug at her oversized cardigan. she looked down to see two identical ginger twins.

“hi there!” one smiled.

“hello!” y/n tried to sound as nice as possible. looking back at her teenage years she remembered laughing at kids who fell of their brooms their brooms when she’d watch first year flying. she remembered laughing at seamus finnigan when something blew up in his face. or when she’d laugh at any kid accidentally getting hurt.

“these are for you! they’re pretty just like you” the other twin exclaimed.

“i’m charlotte and she’s billie” charlotte giggled.

“how do u know our daddy?” billie asked

“oh! um, we went to school together and i live just next door” y/n replied

“do you know our uncle freddie?”

“i know all your uncles and your aunt ginny, aunt hermione and uncle harry. they were all famous when we were in school”

“wow!” they both exclaimed

george and connor came back out. “look aunty y/n! my tongue’s normal again!”

“aunty?” george questioned. “holly. she died quite recently.”

“oh! i’m so sorry. i heard about her. yeah. i believe mum sent some flowers for the service”

“yeah we received them”

“i’ll see you around?” george inquired

“yeah, yeah. and i might need some parenting advice? you knew how i was back at hogwarts”

“i am flattered, dear l/n”

“oh hush. and they get along.” she pointed to the three children running around.

“they do. and yes, i would love to help you tame that little rascal” george laughed.

“thank you, george. really.”

“i’m just next door, yeah?”

“yeah” y/n smiled “come on, connor. we’re going home. but we’ll definitely be seeing these lovely ladies soon.”

“bye pretty lady!” y/n heard two young voices call after her

“daddy, who was she?”

“is she gonna be our new mommy?”

—

george and y/n had been hanging out for the past weeks. he had given her advice on taking care of connor and how to deal with children. they also spent time talking about family and their time back at hogwarts. she was told about the attack of death eaters at one of his brothers’ wedding and how his daughters were named after his brothers bill and charlie.

a knock at y/n’s door interrupted her reading.

“oi, l/n!” she heard a familiar voice on the other side of the door.

“weasley” she muttered.

connor recognized george’s voice and the twins’ giggles, he decided he would take matters into his own little hands. connor knew how stubborn his aunt was at the young age of seven.

“hi billie! hi charlotte! hi uncle george!” the little boy squealed.

“hey there, con!” george ruffled his hair while billie and charlotte ran over to y/n.

connor and the twins were two years apart. connor was going to hogwarts the next year. no doubt would he be trouble to professor mcgonagall but everyone knew they were always her favorites.

“aunty y/n! uncle george brought cookies!” connor yelled excitedly. y/n was never the type to bake or cook. she did try to but it always ended in almost burning the house down. she usually fed connor fruits or store bought food.

“you didn’t have to” y/n responded while taking the plastic box.

“oh yes i did” he teased “i heard you’ve been starving this poor little fellow”

“daddy didn’t bake those cookies” charlotte stated “grandma did” billie continued

“oh” she smirked at george then turned to the twins “tell your grandma i say thanks!”

“uncle george! i wanna show you something outside! the twins can come too!”

“connor, what are you gonna show them?” y/n grumbled.

“your paintings! they’re amazing” her nephew jumped.

“paintings, eh?” george smiled “okay, let’s go, champ. see those paintings of your aunt.” the two scurried outside, two redheaded girls following after.

y/n groaned and fell back into the couch, finishing her book.

—

it’s been a few days since george and the twins came with cooking to y/n and connor’s cottage. she wanted to throw connor a little surprise birthday party.

connor has loved the twins and george so much, he thinks of them as blood relatives. y/n decided to call up cedric and cho to look after connor while she’d do some errands.

the two arrived exactly on time as y/n was preparing to go out. she had on a simple cardigan and loose denim pants.

“ced! cho! hi, how are you guys?” y/n greeted as she saw her old friends apparate into the cottage.

“hi y/n!” cho greeted “hey nerd” cedric snickered.

she sent cedric a small glare before connor jumped at the two.

“uncle ceddy! aunty cho! you’re here” he shouted.

“yeah buddy! your aunt’s gonna run some errands and visit your uncle georgie?” cedric winked at y/n. she had been owling cedric about george and how he’s been helping her with connor.

“are you going out with uncle george?” connor asked, eyes twinkling.

“i don’t know, actually. i might check him out next door.”

“george weasley?” cho teased.

“yes, cho,” y/n rolled her eyes “but on that note, i have to go”

“bye, connor! behave okay?” she crouched down and squished his cheeks.

“bye, ced! cho!” her voice faded when she dashed out the door.

—

y/n passed george’s cottage to see if he actually might want to come with her and do errands.

she was standing outside the small gate, hesitating. ‘maybe he was busy’ ‘he wouldn’t want to do errands with me’ ‘maybe he would if i told him it was for connor’s birthday’ she thought. y/n didn’t know why she was overthinking her choices. the first time she was standing right outside the gate she bursted in and demanded george to fix whatever happened to her nephew. now, she was nervous. her palms were sweaty and clammy.

she pushed herself in and walked to the front porch. she knocked a few times and was met with a head of messy brown hair.

“hermione?!” she squealed

“y/n!” hermione jumped to hug her old friend.

there were overlapping voices in the background and when they pulled away she was met with multiple mops of ginger hair, a head of blonde hair and another with black hair behind hermione.

“l/n?” ginny weasley asked, quite shocked what she would be doing outside george’s door.

“oh! did i interrupt something? i am so sorry!” she said feeling a bit nervous.

“oh! you must be the dearest y/n george keeps talking about!” an old woman she thought was mrs. weasley approached her from behind her children.

“hi there!” y/n said feeling a little embarrassed she might’ve barged in on a family reunion.

“ah! l/n? i have heard of your family! muggle-borns right?” arthur weasley joined his wife.

“uh, yeah!” she pursed her lips “i am so so sorry i interrupted! i should go. tell george i’ll swing by next time”

“oh it’s absolutely alright, dear” molly reassured her.

“george! there’s a really pretty girl! get your arse out here!” fred yelled to george who was probably inside the house.

“is she here?” charlotte and billie ran to the door.

“hi girls! tell you dad i was here yeah? say i’ll come by next time” most of the weasleys came back in. she took it as her time to go on with her day.

“oi! y/n! wait up” the voice she recognized as george’s called after her.

“george, hey”

“where’r you off to?” george pointed to the small bag that was swung over her shoulder.

“errands. connor’s birthday is coming up so i thought i’d prepare something for him. first birthday without his mum, you know”

“his birthday’s coming up?” george looked as excited as a child on christmas morning.

“yeah. why?” she smiled

“you’re talking to one of the best party planners there is. you also did talk to another one of them… i think”

“fred?”

“oh yeah”

“i wanted to ask if you wanted to come but seeing as to your family is in your house… i’m gonna take a wild guess and say you aren’t available right now” she giggled.

“maybe if you went another day” he said sympathetically. george really wanted to go and prepare connor’s party with her. he treated him like his own and boy did he remind him of how fun it was to be a kid. he loved his aunt so much it was adorable.

“george. seriously, it’s okay. spend time with your family” she laughed.

“yeah, yeah. i’ll see you when you get back” he waved.

—

connor’s small birthday gathering was in full swing. y/n became acquainted with george’s siblings. bill, charlie, percy (whom she was actually friends with back in hogwarts), fred, ron and ginny. hermione was a very good friend of hers and so was harry. she recognized fleur from that day in the cottage as beauxbatons triwizard champion.

connor had quite a bunch of guests for his birthday. cedric, cho, luna, neville, fred, percy, ron, harry, hermione, bill and fleur and their little victorie. of course, billie and charlotte helped george and y/n fix up the party. mr. and mrs. weasley sent a small cake for connor when they heard about y/n not knowing asingle thing about cooking.

fred offered to take care of the twins and connor while george and y/n ran off somewhere. the two found themselves near a small creek. y/n explained how the cottage was where she’d go off exploring and the only person who knew was holly. she was overjoyed when her sister got the cottage she used as a hideaway.

george was surprised when there were lights and blankets and everything. the soft sounds of running water was calming.

the two were pretty intoxicated when they sat down; stumbled onto the picnic blanket. y/n was sober enough to not spill her deepest darkest secrets. george on the other hand…

“have i ever told you how pretty you are?” george mumbled next to her. y/n only snickered and blushed.

“um, can i hold your hand?” he continued, taking a look at the girl next to him.

“sure” she winked.

“you know” he started again “i actually fancied you a bit back in school”

“yeah?” she rolled over to her side “i wonder… what did you like about me?”

“i don’t even know. my heart just felt so full with you. still does, right now, holding your hand, under the stars by a stream.” he had this glint in his eye when he looks at her.

“hey,” she brushed some hair out of his face “these past few months have been great. and you’re a huge help with connor. you know i’ll always be there for you, right?”

“yeah darling,” he yawned “yeah”

“wait, george!” she sat up “no. don’t fall asleep!”

“fuck” she groaned before falling back down on the blanket.

“i think i love you” she whispered.

—

morning rolled around and they were still lying somewhere in the forest behind the cottage. some childish chatter and laughs were heard from where they were still sleeping soundly.

until, a red ant bit y/n and george’s intertwined hands. “ah shit!” y/n woke up from the bite. her yell also woke up the sleeping man next to her “what?! what happened?” he jumped.

“oh. did i wake you up?” she asked.

“no. it’s honestly no worries” he said “but i do have a killer headache”

“an ant bit me” she muttered, wanting to scratch it.

“hey, no don’t scratch! i’ve had a lot if experience with insect bites” he explained “want me to kiss it better?” he teased.

“oh, ha-ha” she rolled her eyes but blushed.

“we should probably head back” he checked his watch while standing up.

—

“ah! there the lovebirds are!” fred exclaimed.

everyone was cleaning up from last night. there were children running around while chasing balloons and each other.

“yeah,” george started “we, um, fell asleep”

“sure ya did” this time ron teased the two.

“i’m gonna clean up here,” y/n offered “you guys should go home. you know, get some rest”

cedric gasped “y/n l/n! are you kicking us out?” he said in mock offense.

“technically, yeah. i doubt connor got any sleep”

“maybe we should,” fleur said with her accent “victorie was very excited for the party she is very worn out”

george snuck behind y/n “i think i love you too” he muttered under his breath. he wasn’t sure if she heard it. she did.

“i’ll see you later, y/n!” he yelled “come on, princesses, we’re going home. we’ll see connor and y/n later”

connor and the twins hugged while y/n said thank you’s to all the guests.

maybe it wasn’t such a bad decision to ask for help.