#all the more reason to let your low vocalists shine!!!!!

[existentialmagazine]

Review: Duo davvn share their newest dreamy indie-pop single ‘Depressed In Heaven’ with an introspective lyrical journey

The indie-pop/pop-punk duo davvn have been making waves in the Nashville live music scene, as well as on social media platforms such as TikTok, determined to make a name for themselves with their nostalgically brimming sound. After they reimagined the pop punk classic ‘1985’ by Bowling for Soup and collaborated with the band, the pair have found themselves amassing quite the audience utterly engaged by their one-of-a-kind sound. Now offering a different slice of their catalogue in new single ‘Depressed in Heaven’, davvn take on an indie-pop sound that’s utterly dreamy.

Began with soft, infrequent guitar plucks and whirring synthetic sounds, ‘Depressed in Heaven’ initially takes on quite a minimal and stripped-back approach, almost tenderly reaching out to you before davvn shy away from their moment of intimacy and wish to wrap it up in easier to digest sounds. Catchy beats pick up the pacing a little, urging you sway along and get into the groove of the release even while lyrically it’ll have you aching along to its realism. A moment of atmospherics creates a vast build into the chorus, pairing everything down except for acoustic guitar strums and their vocalist’s delivery that’s constantly front and centre of everything. Things finally burst into a colourful but slow climax, releasing the guitar from its intermittent plucks and instead dominating with loud and vibrant strums, steady beats and gorgeous dreamy synth lulling in the background. Their vocalist adds a charismatic but emotionally-infused layer to ‘Depressed in Heaven’ , hauntingly soaring in the higher ranged chorus’ heights before leaving you more personally engaged in somewhat lower-toned spoken-sung verses. Through it all, davvn have created a song to be adored with ease, enchanting you with a sound undeniably loveable whilst not shying away from opening up beneath it all.

If it weren’t clear from its title ‘Depressed in Heaven’, this release carries a narrative that’s incredibly deeply thought-out, seeped in a melancholic woe that the track’s protagonist just can’t pull themselves out of. Taking an introspective look at the fleeting nature of happiness and the constant discontentment of humanity, davvn’s lyricism circles around finding a lack of joy in life even when there’s nothing wrong to pin it down on: ‘another shot, still I’m no fun, there’s nothing wrong, still it all sucks.’ Deeply engrained within a depressive low, ‘Depressed in Heaven’ somehow moulds together a bright indie sound with some of the most truthfully hard-hitting lyrical depictions of how it can feel to be consumed by depression when you’re at your lowest for seemingly no reason. Listing out an array of differing difficult events, ‘I can’t get out of bed, even when the sun out there is shining. Can’t text back my friends, they’re better off without my whining’ , davvn find themselves describing how even the smallest of things can feel overwhelming when your head convinces you you’re better off shut down and alone. Carrying quite a cynical perspective, lines like ‘angels right in front of me, still don’t know if I believe’ seem so wholeheartedly detached from life and accepting the reality of anything despite it being in front of them, too wrapped up in their own thoughts to believe anything other than what’s in their mind. As the track’s hook rings out, ‘got a confession, I’d still be depressed in Heaven’ , davvn make it clear that their state of mind is one that Adding further onto their lyrical narrative, davvn continue that "We let perfect moments slip away too quickly in the present and are always seeking more in the future but it’s extremely difficult to hold onto that feeling in the present, instead letting our emotions and desires get the best of us. We poke holes in our own happiness to the point that we’d probably all still end up depressed in Heaven.”

Check out ‘Depressed in Heaven’ for yourself here to enjoy the vibrant soundscape and more heavy-hitting narrative that davvn have wrapped into a sweet three and a half minute parcel of addictiveness.

Written by: Tatiana Whybrow

Photo Credits: Unknown

// This coverage was created via Musosoup, #SustainableCurator

[dreamaze]

wings i read all ur tags !!!! (lucky me being online rn hehe) and i could just agree with you a thousand times over 😭😭😭 like not to be a nerd but this whole thing does stem from the idea in theatre that really happened in the 19th century (male leads/romantic heroes becoming tenors nearly exclusively) and accommodating scores and it just swept over pop music a century later to this day. the idea that tenors > pleasant sound and baritones > bad sound is so ridiculous. (ok nerd time over) and the fact that i still have to wait for bts songs comfortable in tae's range (boy in luv not withstanding and even that pushes it) as well as in his solos is absolutely baffling. i love the way they all distribute lines among each other but it is unbelievable that the usual pattern goes jk's lines > tae's lines when they are not close in range. not to mention that while vmin songs are always sweet, they BOTH talked about how tough it is to sing together. even namjoon mentioned how the rappers have a hard time to adjust to the high vocal line keys (which weren't as high in earlier songs). like in general just let lower voices get their time to shine. very few groups do this (well) but it's 2k21 and we deserve those low notes and beautiful songs for that baritone range too !!!

Al, I went to school for ('classical') music (composition) so these nerd hours are ALWAYS OPEN. And I'm really glad to have someone to discuss it with because it's kinda been plaguing me ever since I started listening to BTS. (I don't listen to much pop music in general, so they were initially a pretty big anomaly for me.) I honestly hadn't thought about how the characterization of tenors as the romantic protagonists in theatre/opera vs. the side roles or antagonists being relegated to lower voice types has manifested in contemporary pop music, but it makes a lot of sense! The dichotomy is so outdated, and the only real bad sound is forcing singers way out of their natural range. (And I have a minor beef with how this also translates to pop singers not developing their chest range because everything is written higher, higher, but I will set that grievance aside for now because part of that is also a genre/style thing.)

this got long so here's a cut to spare everyone else --

I completely agree about the line distributions, and this comes back to the laziness, for lack of a better term, or flat-out indifference in the actual composing process. It should be natural forethought to accommodate your bari's range in the melodic material, rather than always force him to cycle through the same line rotation that the tenors are covering. There are obviously some exceptions in BTS songs (after they moved beyond those early stages of rough belting, which ?? hm, potentially unhealthy for different reasons if not trained properly). Like the ending of Sea is one of the most beautiful and gutting moments to me out of any of their songs. I will also throw out there, before I forget, that the deliberate choice to have Tae sing at the top of his register can be very effective. Specifically, I am thinking of his line 'Kill me softly' in the bridge of Blood Sweat & Tears. It is strained, particularly in that era of recording, but it works because it feels like a conscious choice that both reflects the text and heightens the drama of that moment. But for the most part ... again, it seems like the majority of his assignments are out of convenience to the tenors and to spare the composers the challenge (???) of writing something that is just a little different. And it's not like he would never share lines, because there is overlap between his range and a lower/mid tenor. I suppose the real frustration from me is that with a little bit of creativity and intentionality, this shouldn't be that difficult??

It broke my heart a little when he said that Friends was really challenging for him because I love vmin as a duo. I really wish it was easier for them. I get that the genre is a bit of a limiting factor here because the harmonizing is never going to be that complex. But their parallel octaves in Blue & Grey are SO BEAUTIFUL and showed to me at least that there are ways they can make it work. (Also side note, I think B&G is one of their strongest and most thoughtful instances of line rotation, bless u Tae.) And it's been a little while since I've listened to it, but their Fix You cover was also a fantastic example of how they can all (rap line included!) harmonize comfortably when the key is a little lower. (Rant topic for another time since I'm already rambling too much here: also, why such a hard division between vocal and rap lines?? Give them all good vocal training, it will help their voices grow whether they're singing or rapping! HOBI VOCAL LINE WHEN *ahem* anyway~~~) I love the tenors, I really do, but quite frankly they would benefit just as much from strengthening their lower ends. I think Jimin said parts of B&G were challenging for him because they were so low, but I once listened to his lowest phrase like 10 times in a row because I couldn't get over how striking it sounded. (probably wasn't even the whole phrase, it may have just been the pick-up at 3'02", that's how obsessed I was!! I had to stop myself from doing it again just now.)

I've been rambling a lot and should pipe down now, but I guess I will end with: please, composers, treat your baris more equitably! Also I can't wait for KTH1 because he is finally going to be able to shine in his element without making a tenor cry.

P.S. I am always here for more conversations like this (with anyone!), and to Al specifically, if you ever want to share some theatre recommendations with me, I'd be honored. ♡

[slightlywhelming]

Writing Intriguing Lyrics

As a songwriter, lyrics are the bane of my existence. How could I possibly be expected to take the ideas in my head and not only communicate them accurately, but make them rhyme and catchy and interesting all at the same time? Lyrics are hard for me, but I wanted to share some thoughts I had that really transformed how I write.

I'm willing to bet most of you haven't heard of Vola. They're a pretty talented Scandinavian metal band that has some really cool songs. Specifically, their album Witness is, in my opinion, a masterpiece. The guitars are really well written, the drums always hit the right grooves, but the real reason I think this album is so well done is the lyrics.

Asger Mygind is the vocalist of Vola and his lyrics have some very unique patterns that draw you into every word he says. Let's look at some examples.

Asger uses lines like: "I want to sleep inside your fur", "We are returning to the ominous", "Go break your colorful bones in a fight, she begged of me", "There's a lifeline breaking in this frost", and my favorite line from the album "You're running low on straight lines".

If you're anything like me, lines like those are absolutely fascinating. What the fuck does it mean to want to "sleep inside your fur"? Is it child-like? Is it sexual? Is it creepy? The way Asger builds sentences is unlike anything I've found in music before and I made some observations that had helped me make more intriguing lyrics. Here's the steps I use.

Take a simple, easy to understand sentence.

Replace (or add an adjective to) a key word with something completely foreign, but make sure it still fits the meaning.

For example, here's how I think he came up with those lines.

"I want to sleep in your arms", take the word 'arms' and replace with something still comforting, but out of context, i.e. fur.

"We are returning to the unknown", take the word 'unknown' and replace with a synonym that implies something more dangerous, i.e. ominous.

"Go break your bones in a fight, she said to me", take the word 'said' and replace with something that adds to her frustration, and also add an adjective that doesn't traditionally fit, i.e. begged and colorful.

"There's a light shining in the cold", take the words 'light' and 'cold' and replace with something more specific, but still out of place, i.e. lifeline and frost.

"You're running out of options", take the word 'options' and replace with something more concrete, i.e. straight lines.

Overall, switching out words to things that kind of fit but don't leaves a lot to be interpreted and overall just makes your lyrics more interesting. The songs I've written since I started doing this have been among the best I've written lyrically.

Highly recommend. Tell me what you think.

[spaceorphan18]

have you ever read a detailed post about the glee cast’s singing voices? like all about their technique and stuff? reading your reaction to the ‘vocal coach reacts to glee’ video makes me want to know more!

Hmmmm, not really! Not from a professional vocalist POV, I don’t think.  (That I’m aware of.  This does remind me there was one vocal coach in fandom, and she hated Blaine, and I wasn’t too fond of her, or her analysis, so I won’t point you in that direction.) 

My background is in music, but not in vocal performance.  But I can give you a quick rundown of cast’s musical abilities if you like, though they won’t be huge on the technical side of it.  

ETA: I started this a while ago before I started doing the music retrospective - I’ll probably try to explore a little more as I do those.   If you guys want more conversation about one person in particular, let me know! 

But for now... 

*

Matthew Morrison: Is a classically trained musician with a very good voice.  It’s a shame Will was such a tool, because Matthew Morrison was very talented, had the ability to do a lot of great things with his voice.  People joke about his rapping -- but I think this stemmed from the issue that his background is in musical theater -- which teaches you a cleaner and more traditional way of singing -- opposed to a pop or rap style.  He doesn’t have the grit that rap often has, which makes it a little too much like a Kid’s Bop version of something.  When singing musical theater, though, he really shined. 

A number that showcases ability: Make ‘Um Laugh

A number that isn’t so great: Ice Ice Baby

*

Lea Michele: Lea does have a very good and solid voice.  She’s also been classically trained.  The one drawback is that it hinders her a bit on pop music, she lacks some of the grittiness often needed on a lot of the pop songs.  She also starts to lose some of her classic training as the show goes on (which I think is a shame) so that she can get some of the shine off her voice to make a transition to pop music.  

She has one vocal tick that drives me crazy, though -- she has a tendency to slide into her notes instead of hitting them dead on, which gets worse as the show goes on, and it makes her sound a little screech-y at times.  But for the most part -- she is really good. 

A number that showcases ability: Don’t Rain on My Parade

A number that isn’t so great: Ooops...I Did It Again

*

Amber Riley: The cool thing about Amber is that you get to hear her grow as a musician as the show goes on.  She had already started to get vocal lessons before the show started, but at the beginning, she was still a bit raw and unrefined in her technique.  But you can tell she did practice, and her voice is developed beautifully as the show goes on.  She was one of the best, well rounded vocalists on the show.  She had a good handle on pop and R&B music, but she could sing musical theater rather clearly, too.  She has great breath support - and can belt numbers out while still retaining the quality.  Can’t say enough good thing about Amber’s voice. 

A number that showcases ability: Someday We’ll Be Together

A number that isn’t so great: Sweet Transvestite (It’s not bad - but it’s my least favorite Mercedes solo.) 

*

Cory Monteith: Cory wasn’t a vocalist.  And, to be completely honest, I thought it was some kind of joke when they introduced him as some kind of hidden musical gem when Will hears him singing the showers.  He did really well with classic rock that’s allows not only for a weaker voice - but is often not as technically hard.  And I have to wonder if Cory got lessons, because he did get a lot better as the show went on, and I think his season 4 work is great! 

I will say that sometimes they pushed his voice a little too far.  A lot of times songs were either too high for his range and he often sounded like he was straining.  (The most notable of which is A House is Not a Home - which is far too high for him.)  That said - I think he did reasonably well along side Lea - mostly because often sang pop duets.  

A number that showcases ability: I’ve Gotta Be Me

A number that isn’t so great: Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore

*

Chris Colfer: Chris is such an interesting study due to the uniqueness of his voice.  He’s got a huge range both in terms of genre and literal range of voice.  He can sing quite a few octaves.  He’s got a great, clear sound, too, which is why he’s great with theater numbers.  Interestingly, Chris’s voice did drop over the years, and while I know people love his higher range, he has a gorgeous lower range that wasn’t used as often (and is often my favorite.) 

The one (nitpicky) issue was that Chris’s voice ended up getting pigeon-holed.  I know singing Diva-Broadway songs was his schtick - but it would have been nice to hear him sing a bigger variety of songs.  He wasn’t the strongest on non-ballad pop music, but they also didn’t give him that very often.  

There’s also the fascinating unusualness in that, Chris could really sing duets very well with people -- but in group numbers, his voice sticks out like a sore thumb, and he was often left out of some of the more general songs because of it.  His voice just doesn’t texture very well - which is why I get why they did what they did.  

A number that showcases ability: Being Alive

A number that isn’t so great: I’ll Remember

*

Kevin McHale: I feel like people are often surprised when they sit down and think about it, but Kevin has a great voice.  He has a solid range, and he’s able to do pop music very well (I believe it helps that he was in a professional boy band for years.)  Not sure if people noticed - but he’s often the lead on group numbers that don’t need to be related to specific story or character points.  Which is a bummer for Artie’s story - but if you’re a fan of Kevin’s voice, you get a lot to choose from.  

Kevin was also able to handle a lot of the musical demands that I think some of the other males weren’t? He’s a much better singer than Cory - and could handle leading a full number.  His voice isn’t as unique as Chris’s and can texture really well.  In addition he was fairly versatile.  He might have been the best rapper the show had, lol. 

A number that showcases ability: For Once In My Life

A number that isn’t so great: Addicted to Love (personal taste choice - I just don’t like the song.) 

*

Jenna Ushkowitz: Jenna is another one who is classically trained.  She has a strong, solid voice, which was unfortunately not showcased all that well on the show, and because of that, I’m not sure how she does on a wide variety of music.  I do think she sounds a little generic - but not helping is lack of being featured.  

A number that showcases ability: I Don’t Know How To Love Him

A number that isn’t so great: Gangum Style (She does fine - but the fact that they made her do it in the first place...) 

*

Dianna Agron: The interesting thing about Dianna is that she has a really nice low female voice.  The fact that they never gave her any punk or harder rock was really a shame, because I think she would have done really well with that.  The funny thing is that, more so in the beginning, they show tried to make her sing songs that fit her character - but weren’t necessarily great for her voice.  I feel like it wasn’t until late season 2 did they start really using her voice for the better.  

A number that showcases ability: Never Can Say Goodbye

A number that isn’t so great: It’s A Man’s, Man’s, Man’s World

*

Mark Salling: Mark had a really solid voice - that often lent itself well to folk and acoustic really well.  He was good with softer pop and classic rock, and the show showcased that pretty well.  I think, in general, Mark was a much better vocalist than actor, and the show often picked good music for him to sing - which helped with his character.  I don’t have a whole lot to say, only that I think he was underrated as a vocalist, but I get it - with all the other baggage that comes with talking about Mark. 

A number that showcases ability: No Surrender 

A number that isn’t so great: Fight For Your Right (to Party) (I don’t think it’s bad - I just hate this song.) 

*

Naya Rivera: Naya is a little tricky.  I think she has a good, smoky sound to her voice that makes her excellent at things like pop and R and B.  (Shame she didn’t have a good jazz number to do on the show - she would have been great at that.)  I think she was really versatile, though, and handled her Broadway numbers really well.  I do think she was somewhat pinched and nasal at times - and while I do think this was a stylistic choice, to me it’s not my favorite type of vocal sound.  But I do think she was really good at the numbers she was given, and was one of the most talented female vocalists on the show. 

A number that showcases ability: Back to Black

A number that isn’t so great: Alfie (I think I may dislike the song more than her singing on it.) 

*

Heather Morris: Heather wasn’t a singer, and I do think it showed at times.  She often had to have her voice autotuned more than anyone else on the show.  That said - she did do Britney Spears really well, and I think she deserves credit for that.  

A number that showcases ability: I’m a Slave 4 U

A number that isn’t so great: Dinosaur

*

Chord Overstreet: Chord’s background is in country - and that shows a bit through his singing - he’s got a bit of twang in his voice, but it’s not necessarily a bad thing.  He’s a fun singer.  I don’t think the show knew exactly what to do with him (voice or character) but there’s a lightness to his singing that makes him easily adaptable to pretty much anything you throw at him. 

A number that showcases ability: Red Solo Cup (You think I’m joking - but I think this is the most fun Chord has singing a song.) 

A number that isn’t so great: Girls on Film (I think just by default of me liking everything else better.) 

*

Darren Criss: Ah, Darren, where to even start.  The thing about Darren is that he may not be the strongest singer, his voice is a little wobbly at times, and his range is somewhat limited, but his showmanship is just completely beyond nearly everyone else.  Darren has the unique ability to draw you in with his singing and hold you captive.  There are technically better singers on the show - but Darren just has this amazing ability to really sell a performance.  And I do love his voice, even if there are some limitations to it.  I really could gush about Darren’s performance abilities, but I’ll refrain... 

A number that showcases ability: Teenage Dream (Both Versions) 

A number that isn’t so great: Piano Man (Which isn’t bad - I just think the show had done it better, and it’s a rare time that felt like Darren was kind of phoning it in.) 

*

A quick run down of others, but first a quick aside - as they started adding people in, vocal ability starts being a factor.  I think a lot of the newer characters could sing better than they could act, which was both helpful and a hinderance.  I think we began to get more solid musical numbers as the show went on, but sometimes acting wasn’t always top notch - and across the board, old and new, hitting a combo of acting and singing ability didn’t always happen.  

Harry Shum Jr.: Not really a singer - but the show often played to his strengths, and his few songs played off the fact that he wasn’t a great singer to great aplomb.  

Jane Lynch: Can hold a tune, even if her voice isn’t the best - is really great at musical comedy. 

Jayma Mays: She has more singing ability than the show allowed to showcase, however, she’s another one whose voice was really unique, and doesn’t texture very well.  

Damien McGinty: Is actually a very good singer.  However, he’s very generic, too - which makes him a little on the bland side. 

Sam Larsen: I think he was fine - I don’t think he sang enough on the show for me to make much of an impression one way or the other. 

Alex Newel: Fucking Fantastic! Alex might be one of the strongest vocalists on the show - has great range, energy, and vocal control.  

Melissa Benoist: Her voice tends to lean on the pop-ier side, but it’s a solid voice, and her work on the show was pretty good.  

Jacob Artist: Has a strong voice, and could sing genres that weren’t often featured on the show (like hip-hop and R&B).  

Blake Jenner: His voice is fine, but like Damien McGinty, it’s generic and a little bland. 

Becca Tobin: She has a very quirky voice that brings in a different and unique sound.  They didn’t use her much, though, so it’s hard to comment. 

Noah Guthrie: An amazing singer, has a really unique sound, but is able to do blend in well with others.  

Samantha Ware: Another amazing singer.  She’s in full control and can do really great things with it. 

Billy Lewis Jr: Has a good, solid voice.  Not as strong as Guthrie, or some of the other guys, but he’s a lot of fun to watch. 

Laura Dreyfuss: Like Becca Tobin - has a uniqueness to her vocal quality that makes it stand out a little, but she’s still a solid singer. 

Marshall Williams: His vocal ability is okay.  It’s better than his acting ability.  I’m slightly confused how this dude got cast, tbh.  

[watchmegetobsessed]

Our song - Harry Styles

this one was inspired by the jingleball performance bc it was pure perfection and UGHH im obsessed.

dedicated to my dear friend @dontworrysunflower

disclaimer: the song Homesick by Dua Lipa is featured in this fic as an original work of Harry and the reader, but it’s obviously an existing song, I just thought that it would be the song they write

pairing: Harry x vocalist!reader

word count: 5.3k

masterlist

You’ve felt the adrenaline rush take over your body many times in your life and they were all different in some kind of way. The one you felt when you were about to write an important test in school, the one that bubbled through your veins when you got your first kiss. The one that rolled through your limbs and chest when you first performed in front of people that weren’t your parents and the one you felt when you got the news that you were chosen to tour with none other than Harry Styles as his vocalist, singing on his stage every other night in a different city and different country.

But none of those were anything like the feeling that takes over every time you stand on that stage, your microphone that’s labelled with your name right in front of you as thousands of people are screaming in the jam-packed arena. Though it’s not you they come to see and listen to, but you are part of the magic and it’s quite enough for you.

You could never be the one standing at the front with all the lights shining down on your frame, having every gaze in the place glued to you, listening to your voice. That brings the kind of anxiety you’re quite sure you wouldn’t be able to handle. You are perfectly fine standing in the back, being the support system while staying on the down-low as someone else shines at the front, in your case, it’s Harry.

You applied for the job with a reason, already having a huge appreciation for him as an artist, adoring his work so far, especially Fine Line. Upon hearing about the opportunity to be part of his tour, you didn’t hesitate to send your application in and following three auditions, you got the phone call that they wanted you on board.

He swept you right off your feet the first time you met him, but you didn’t expect less from him. Everything you heard about him being the most wonderful person to every walk the planet were proven to be nothing but the truth. You hit it off so easily and become close through the process of rehearsals. His odd little jokes, that funny laugh of his and the way he always peeks over his shoulder to meet his eyes with yours made you fall for him faster than you’d have ever thought you could.

Just as fast as your feeling for Harry developed, tour caught up on you and before you could blink twice, you were living on the road, always dressing from your suitcase, waking up in a different city every other morning.

The foreign studio feels a little odd, but still somehow familiar as you walk in with your water and notebook under your arm. Random studio sessions with Harry became a regular not long after tour kicked off. Harry’s creative juices were overflowing and he was aching to record his creations, constantly renting random studios near the hotel you lot were staying currently and one night, when some of you all were hanging out in his suit, he asked if you’d be down helping him record vocals for a song he’s been working on.

“I want to hear it with your voice instead of mine,” he told you leaning against the wall, a glass of whatever Mitch mixed him in his hands.

“Getting bored of your own voice?” you teased him, bringing his dimples out with the smile that plastered across his lips.

“Could say that. Are you up for it?”

There was no way you would have said no. So the next morning you found yourself in a studio somewhere in Sacramento, singing the vocals to a song no one else has heard other than you and Harry.

The tour has now reached Denver, you can’t wait to be on the stage tonight, but before that, you are having another quick session with Harry in the studio.

When you walk in, his head perks up from his leather notebook he always keeps on himself, filled with his scribbled lyrics. A smile stretches across his lips when his green eyes fall on your frame.

“Hey! Hope it’s not too early for you,” he softly says standing up from the chair as you put your stuff down to the small table in the corner.

“No, managed to get a good night sleep still,” you smile at him, taking a quick look around, though this recording room is just like the others you’ve been in.

“I think I figured out that part we struggled with last time. Changed up the ending a bit, would you mind giving it another go?”

You nod looking down at his notes, seeing the changes he has made in the vocals.

“Changed anything else?” you ask as you watch him get ready for the recording.

“Yeah, rewrote a few lines, think they are fitting better now.”

“Have you recorded them yet?”

“Will do now,” he tells you shaking his head.

Soon enough you find yourself standing behind the mic, headset covering your ears as you are waiting for Harry to start recording and the music to play in your ears. Once he shows up his thumb you do the same and a moment later the song you’ve heard last time you two were working starts flowing from the headset and you stare down at the notes in front of you, waiting for the moment when you have to start singing.

It takes you a few runs to nail it down, but when you finally do, you can see the satisfied grin on Harry’s face and you think to yourself that there’s nothing you wouldn’t do to make him like this anytime.

“That was fantastic,” he beams once you join him at the screens where you see your voice appear as a pattern over a straight line. Harry does his usual magic before leaving it be. “Mind assisting recording my part?” he asks turning to you with an excited smile.

Nodding you let him tell you what to do and once he is all set behind the mic, you start the recording and the song. You listen to him in awe. There hasn’t been a moment when you didn’t feel the shiver running down your spine when he started singing. You are convinced a choir of angels is hidden in his throat, because it’s hard to believe he is just as human as everyone else.

He sings the whole song three times before he joins you again, listening back to what you have so far. The song is coming along pretty well and you can tell by the time he finishes it, it’s gonna be perfect. Everything he does is just pure perfection, whether he likes to admit it or not.

“You know how it would be absolutely perfect?” he asks you on your way back to the hotel. The two of you grabbed a coffee as well, so now you’re sipping on the hot drink, enjoying the somewhat sunny weather.

“Hm?”

“I think it would be best if a female voice sang the whole thing and the male was just the vocal.”

“Who do you think would fit best for it then?” you ask, immediately thinking of singers that could be perfect for the song. It wouldn’t be the first time Harry would sell a song to someone else, so you’re not surprised he is thinking about this kind of change.

“Y/N, I found the voice already,” he chuckles and you give him a puzzled look. “You. You are singing the song, I don’t need anyone else.”

“I’m not a solo singer,” you protest.

“There’s no such thing as solo or not solo. You’re a singer and a bloody good one. I want you to sing it.”

“But it would go to waste, because I would never actually perform it.”

“How are you so sure about that?” he smirks slyly at you, immediately making you nervous.

“Harry, I don’t sing solo,” you shake your head stubbornly, but he rolls his eyes at you.

“You could just try it. Let’s just record the song next time with you in the lead and then we can talk about the rest.”

“I’m fine recording, but I will never perform it,” you tell him, but his look makes you think he has other plans.

When tour reaches Dallas, the song gets a version with you singing solo and Harry doing the vocals in it. And though you had doubts about the switch, listening back to it you can tell how much it helped. It really is better with a female voice, though you are still convinced it shouldn’t be you.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sell it to someone? I’m fine with that,” you ask him before the show in Dallas. You’re sitting on the table in his dressing room while he is painting his nails, his tongue poking out in concentration.

“I told you, I like it with your voice. Why is that so hard to believe?”

“Because I’m not a—“

“Fuck’s sake if you dare to tell me one more time that you’re not a solo singer, I’m firing you, Y/N!” he snaps, giving you a hard look, but you just laugh at his temper.

“It’s the truth.”

“Have you ever tried to go solo?”

“Not for years,” you admit and watch him screw the nail polish closed, pushing it aside, his hands lying flat on the table as he is carefully waiting for them to dry.

“So then how do you know you are no good at it?”

“Because I hated it back then, so I most likely would hate it now as well,” you state matter-of-factly, but Harry doesn’t seem amused by your answer.

“So you think you haven’t changed a bit in years? I hope you know that’s absolute bollocks.”

“Why are you so keen on making me sing solo?” you sigh, giving him a tired look. It feels like the two of you have been running the same circles since forever. It’s not his first attempt to get you sing more than just the vocals, he once wanted to do a cover and needed a partner because it was a duet and begged you for weeks to sing with him, but you didn’t give in. You just couldn’t.

“Because I think that you are a talented singer and I want you to feel the adrenaline rush performing gives you.”

“I do get that rush every time I sing behind you. That’s enough for me.”

Harry shakes his head pressing his lips tight together.

“That’s not the same as being in the lead. It’s a whole different world.”

“Yeah, one that makes me shit my pants,” you chuckle and he can’t push a smile back.

“Maybe we should just work on it. Your anxiety. I think we could actually make you feel better if we tried.”

“I still don’t know where this obsession with me being solo comes for you.”

Harry stands up, takes one last look at his nails before he steps closer smiling down at you softly and you bite into your bottom lip, realizing how close he is standing to you. His fingers tap in your cheek gently, running them down to your chin as he tilts your head up a bit.

“Just accept it, Love,” he smiles softly before stepping away and carrying on with his routine.

That evening, you stand at the back with the other two vocalists, eyes glued to Harry’s figure at the front of the stage, you watch him pour his soul out to the audience, interact with them and reach that state of mind you have never been able to get into. You know what he told you about performing is true, yet you are still terrified to do it yourself. It’s too nerve wrecking to have everyone look at and listen to you, so many chances to mess it up and make a fool out of yourself.

But when Harry’s eyes meet yours and he shoots you a warm smile, something shifts in you. The urge to have this connection with not just the audience and the song, but with him takes over your whole body and you make up your mind to at least give it a try.

Harry is ecstatic when you tell him later that night that you changed your mind. You see that sparkle in his eyes and it was already worth for you, just seeing him react like that.

“Though I have a few suggestions to change the lyrics.”

“You do?” he asks, seemingly surprised, but mostly amused that you had the balls to come out with it.

“Yeah. Just some tiny details.”

“Why haven’t you told me about these before?”

“Because it was your song. But if you want me to sing it, it has to be mine as well.” Harry stares back at you with a smile that’s filled with pride and joy, making your heart flutter in your aching chest as you think about performing solo.

“Our song,” he softly says nodding his head.

Arriving to Houston the two of you are quick to book a studio and work on the song. Harry lets you make any changes you desire on the lyrics, even says you did justice to it and that you should have spoken up earlier about your ideas. And then you record it.

It’s not that you have to sing the whole song and not just the vocals this time. You are completely fine with Harry hearing you sing, it’s the thought of performing it in front of anyone that’s not him, that’s what makes you turn into a wreck.

You record Harry’s vocals and once it’s all put together, you are blown by the outcome. You wouldn’t have thought Harry’s voice as the vocal would compliment you in the lead, but it’s just absolutely perfect and even you can’t find anything wrong with it.

“Love, this is what Heaven sounds like, I’m telling you,” he smirks at you from the chair beside you, playing the song for the tenth time, not able to get enough of the final product.

“You are so cheesy,” you shake your head, but feel the blush heating up your cheeks. His eyes linger on you a little longer before he turns back to the screen.

When the song is over he finally stops is so silence comes over the studio. Harry turns back to face you, his green eyes basically burning a hole into your head.

“So, when are we going to perform it?”

“I really don’t think it’s a good idea,” you sigh looking down at your hands fumbling with your shirt.

“And I do think it is. So I’m not stopping until you at least try it.”

Harry Styles gets what he wants. Always. And this time, no matter how hard you try to resist him, you just can’t deny this from him. Though it takes him time to talk you up, in Washington he finally gets you to give it a try in an empty stadium.

Most of the crew is out, since the building has been finished about half an hour before, so everything is perfectly set for tonight’s show when you walk out to the stage, following Harry in his heels. He asked the piano to be brought to the front along with a mic on it and another one on a stand next to it. The two of you quietly put on your earpieces, doing everything as if it was a usual occasion before a concert, only that this time the roles will be entirely switched.

“It’s fine, alright? No one is around,” he tells you when he sees how nervous you are to sing the song for the first time outside a studio.

“There are some backstage,” you mumble under your breath, not expecting him to do anything about it.

But he does. You watch him walk backstage, completely dumbfounded about what he is doing. He disappears from your sight and a few moments later you hear him shouting at the back.

“No one comes to the stage until I say so! Yea? Thanks!” he orders and then walks back as if he didn’t just boss around the whole crew.

“They will think you’re some kind of crazy celebrity,” you chuckle when he returns, a small smirk playing on his pink lips.

“Don’t care, Darling. Now sing you heart out for me.”

Harry sits on the piano bench, his fingers getting settled on the keys before he looks up to meet your anxious eyes.

“It’s alright. Just you and me, yea?”

Nodding you gulp hard and jump a little when he starts playing the melody the two of you have been working on for so long. You hear all the notes and you know you have to start singing, but you miss the opening. Harry stops and looks at you, as you move your eyes down to the ground, ashamed you messed up immediately.

“S-Sorry, I just—“

“How can I help?” he asks right away, not even caring about the fact that you messed up, focused on figuring out a way that would help you.

“I don’t know. I really don’t,” you sigh, feeling your nerves getting worse with each passing moment.

“Come sit next to me,” he then tells you motioning for you to join him on the bench.

“What?”

“Take your mic and sit next to me,” he repeats, scooting over to make you space. Hesitantly, you pull the mic out of the stand and walking over you sit next to him. “Now you are not in the center. Just listen to the music, watch my hands on the keys, okay?”

You nod, running your tongue over your dry lips as you hold the mic to your mouth before Harry starts playing again.

After the first few notes you close your eyes and when it’s time for you to start singing, Harry leans a little against you, giving you a kind of push to just do it. And it works.

It feels a little as if it’s not even you who starts singing, but it is. Your voice fills the empty arena along with the piano’s melody and keeping your eyes closed a little longer you let your mind settle. When the first verse ends you open them and watch his hands work on the keys, right as he starts singing the vocals, leaning a little forward so his voice reaches his mic.

It’s different. It’s electric and freeing, hear your voice through the massive speakers, to be in the lead and have Harry be just the support in the song. But it feels so right, better than anything you’ve ever felt.

Line after line, you hit all the notes and by the end of the song you are able to strip all your fears down and give yourself over to the music completely. As you sing the last few notes you feel Harry’s eyes on you and turning to face him, you are met with his warm, pride-filled smile and bright eyes, glued to you while his fingers press down the last notes.

The music dies down, the voice of the piano vibrates in the air a little longer until it completely disappears and the silence returns into the stadium.

“Love,” Harry quietly calls out for you and you turn completely towards him. “That was absolutely perfect.”

“You think so?” you ask, voice barely more than just a whisper, your eyes never leaving his gaze.

“I know so,” he huffs, smile widening. He brings an arm around your shoulders and pulls you into a hug, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead as you let out a breath you’ve been holding in for way too long.

He doesn’t try to make you perform that evening, knowing well it was enough for one day, but he does make you sing it with him in each city in the upcoming weeks. Before every concert, he empties out the area around the stage and the two of you sit down at the piano, singing your song until you feel comfortable enough to stand next to the instrument instead of sitting next to him.

The tour reaches New York and Madison Square Garden is getting ready to host Harry Styles for two evenings. The place is massive and you find yourself sitting at the edge of the stage when Harry emerges from backstage.

“Looks wild, right?” he asks sitting next to you, his thigh brushing against yours as he gets seated.

“Yeah. Pretty amazing.”

“This place has the most magical vibe.” “Yeah?” Turning to him you watch him take the arena in, his eyes glistening at the sight in front of him. You know it’s not his first time performing here, but it’s nice to see the excitement in his eyes regardless.

That feeling returns to your chest, the one you felt when Harry told you he wanted you to sing the song. The urge to be part of this amazing something that’s so much bigger than you.

“H?”

“Yea?” he turns to you smiling.

“Can I… Do you think we could sing our song tonight?”

You watch the pure surprise and excitement wash over his face, his smile stretching across his face as he stares back at you in awe.

“You want to sing it?”

Shyly, you nod your head and in a heartbeat his arms lock around you, pulling you into the tightest hug. The two of you almost fall off the stage, laughing together at his dramatic reaction.

“Of course we can sing it, Love. Would be an honor!”

Harry is quick to let the band know about the addition for tonight’s set and though everyone seems surprised, they are all supportive about your solo. As the time goes and the concert gets closer, you can feel the nerves building up and soon enough, you start to doubt your choice to sing the song tonight.

Right before it’s time to go on stage Harry takes your hand and pulls you aside, taking your face in his hands gently, making you look into his eyes.

“I know you are doubting yourself, but just know that I’m very proud of you, even if you decide to not sing the last minute.”

“I could do that?” you whisper, your hands finding his sides and you let them rest on him, a way to ground yourself in the windwhirl of your thoughts.

“Of course. I wouldn’t want to make you do something you don’t really want. Though I know you will be amazing if you choose to sing.”

Nodding you let a weak smile appear on your lips and you notice as his eyes flicker down to them before he moves his gaze up to your eyes. He then pulls you into a proper hug before walking back to the rest of the band and vocalists.

Everything goes as usual and once again, you can’t take your eyes off Harry on the stage. Just watching him perform fills you up with life, enough to keep you from running away. About halfway into the set, as the crowd is still cheering after the previous song, Harry jogs over to you.

“You ready?” he asks over the noise and before you could think about it, you nod your head.

Two guys from the crew pushes the piano further to the front and they help to set everything up as you awkwardly stand at the side. Once your mic is in the stand you walk over there, heart hammering in your chest, hands shaking like crazy.

“I have a special song for you tonight,” Harry announces into the microphone as he makes his way over to the piano. “Please welcome the lovely Y/N here, who is gonna enchant you with a song we’ve been working on lately.”

The crowd screams and you allow yourself to look around with a weak smile. So many people, you think to yourself, everyone watching you.

“It’s called Homesick, and it means so much to us, so we hope you’ll like it Justas much as we do,” Harry adds before settling on the bench and his eyes find yours. “I’m proud of you,” you see him say, only able to read his lips since the crowd is screaming so loud. “Ready?” he asks and you nod, taking a shaky breath.

He sends you a warm comforting smile before glancing down at the keys and then he starts playing. 

Just like the first time, you close your eyes, forcing yourself to focus on the melody and nothing else. The lump in your throat is quite uncomfortable, but you open your eyes and see that Harry is looking straight at you, nodding in encouragement, as his fingers push down the keys to the notes right before you have to start.

“Here, where the sky’s falling, I’m covered in blue, I’m running and I’m crawling, fighting for you…”

Harry smiles wide when your voice flows through the speakers, filling the whole place, making everyone go quiet in a heartbeat as the song carries on. You feel your chest slowly deflating, the nerves cooling down with each sung note.

“You give me a reason, something to believe in, I know, I know, I know. You give me a meaning, something I can breathe in, I know, I know, I know…”

The chorus comes out perfect, your voice melting together with the piano and you finally feel your muscles relax as you slowly let go of every toxic thought that’s been tainting your mind. Harry leans closer to his microphone and his voice gently joins yours in the next verse.

“There’s a crack in my window, a bird in my room, angels all over that watch over you…”

Chills run down your spine hearing his voice, your eyes never leaving his gaze that’s fixated on your standing figure. You get lost in him and the song, something that came from the both of you, a piece of you and him. Standing there, singing this piece makes you feel closer to him than ever and you desperately want this feeling to last forever, hoping the song never ends though you know it’s gonna happen.

“When I’m walking on water all my dreams have come true. Still nothing means nothing without you…”

Homesick is exactly the feeling that bubbles inside you when you think of Harry. Because there’s this man you love so much, who is a home away from home to you, yet you still feel like you can’t be home entirely. Not in the way you’d want to. But standing on the stage in the spotlight, singing together with him as thousands of people are watching the two of you, yet you still manage to forget about them, for a moment, you feel like you finally arrived home. You are there, with him.

“Tell my heart to lie, but I know deep inside it’s true. That I wish I was there with you. That I wish I was there with you, oh I wish I was there with you.”

He plays the end of the song without tearing his eyes away from you, and there’s just a heartbeat of silence before the crowd starts screaming deafeningly, but that short moment… is yours and his.

Tugging your hair behind your ears with your shaky hands, your eardrums on the verge of breaking as you let out a laugh that was kind of a sob as well, relief washing over your body. Harry is quick to jump to his feet and rushing over he envelopes you in a tight hug.

“I’m so so so proud of you, Love. You were everything!” he mumbles, arms holding you so tight you almost lose your breath, but you want him this close, or even closer. You need to feel him, because it doesn’t feel real. His hold brings you a sense of existence only he can give you.

“Thank you, Harry,” you breathe out when he pulls back to look into your eyes, the screaming hasn’t died down even a tad little.

“No, thank you, Darling. You shined like the star that you are,” he grins, playing a sloppy kiss to your cheek before his arms fall off you.

You’d die to stay in this moment a little longer, but the show must go on. The crew pushes the piano back and soon enough, the next song starts. You stay in your spot for the rest, but you keep catching Harry smiling in your way, always making you blush.

The end of a concert is always a little hectic, everyone is all over the place. Still coming off the high you just experienced, you head to the dressing room you share with the other vocalists. They are going on and on about how amazing Homesick was, and you somehow still can’t believe tonight happened. Packing your stuff you barely notice that the door flies open, but you see Harry appear from the corner of your eye.

“Ladies, would you please give me a moment with Y/N?” he asks and the girls are quick to leave the two of you alone. You stand there, kind of dumbfounded, not sure why he is acting so dramatic. Once the door closes and it’s just you and him, he stares at you, chest heaving, his hair wet from his sweat, but he still looks breathtaking.

“Harry—“

“I’m gonna kiss you now,” he cuts you off, your breath gets caught in your throat as you stare back at him, completely frozen. Opposite to what he just said, he remains standing in the same spot and you’re not sure what’s happening. “Can I? Please say yes, I can’t hold myself back for any longer,” he then adds.

“Yes,” you breathe out without even thinking about it. In a heartbeat, Harry crosses the room, chest smashing against yours as he wraps his arms around you, lips crashing onto yours in a kiss that almost makes you moan into his mouth.

It’s all a hot mess, teeth clashing, hands all over each other before his palms run down to the back of your thighs, urging you to jump. When you do, you wrap your legs around his waist and let him walk over to the table nearby, so he can place you on top, standing between your thighs as he keeps kissing you hungrily, his tongue melting together with yours in this sweet chaos. It keeps going on and on, neither of you wanting to let go of the other, but you are eventually forced to stop, coming short of air. Panting wildly, lips swollen from his kisses, you look at him to meet his gaze.

“You have no idea how hard it was to stop myself from kissing you on stage.”

“What?” you breathe out.

“Y/N, I’m fucking crazy about you and seeing you come over your stage fright, sing that song… our song, fuck, that did some unbelievable things to me. Please tell me you felt the same thing!” He is begging, not just with his words, but with his eyes as well and it crushes your soul entirely.

“I did. Harry, I always do when I’m with you.”

“Fucking Hell,” he breathes out before kissing you again. “You are… everything, Love,” he mumbles against your lips and you can’t push down the smile stretching across your face, hearing him say the same words he said right after the song.

“You’ve told me that,” you tease him, his gaze meeting yours as he flashes you his famous half-smirk, heart fluttering at the sight of him.

[neonponders]

I started writing this very niche au ages ago that @booksfoxesandcoffee and @demogirlfriend tinkered with lol​ it’s not quite what I wanted, but at least it’s done ~

Based on my post for This Steve with This Billy:

vampire/musician!Steve and mobster!Billy.

TW for briefly mentioned drugs and all manner of vampire things.

💋 💋 💋 💋 💋 💋 💋

If Billy were being honest with himself, it wasn’t the man’s looks that hooked him. The way a superior dancer stands out in the ensemble, it was the musician’s energy that made Billy’s eyes keep finding him.

Every business that opened his his territory went through Billy’s strict legislature. And the whole city was his to play king.

He didn’t consider himself a strict businessman, but he did attend the new club with regularity to make sure they had what they needed to succeed. If they couldn’t succeed, then they’d have to rebuild elsewhere.

They did succeed. Because they had Steve Harrington.

On paper, he was lead guitarist. An instrumentalist. Vocalist if necessary. Billy Hargrove knew he shined in neon stage lighting and his special trick was swinging the instrument around his body so the guitar switched sides halfway through a song or riff, proving ambidextrous dexterity.

Billy knew Harrington was hard to get ahold of. So far, he’d hosted every member of the band and every guest musician at his VIP table. Harrington always had reasons for leaving directly after a show, which surprised Billy. The man’s band mates clearly revolved around him, looked to him for timing cues, and Billy even had the unique experience of seeing the man smack a drink out of the bassist’s hand because the guy could barely stand.

There was a personality there, and Billy wanted to see it up close. Taste it.

Somehow, Harrington had even avoided being invited to Billy’s table during the mid-show break. Always conveniently disappearing until the second he needed to be on stage.

Until now.

Billy’s guards stood up when Harrington approached with someone held firmly by the scruff of his shirt and jacket. Billy waved them aside, and the musician dumped the guy into Billy’s booth. Some heads turned in their direction, curious for drama but not for long. Anyone who hung around Billy, hungering for his attention, knew to be careful about annoying him.

“Is this one of yours?” Harrington prompted.

“Why would he be?” Billy inquired with a lethargic blink.

“I thought your sort had more class than distributing roofies.”

Billy’s pleased, large feline demeanor sloughed off as he turned his head to the man in his booth. Billy didn’t bother negating Harrington’s accusations. Anybody with sense knew who he was. The only thing that bothered Billy at the moment was the use of some nobody to get the musician’s attention.

“You’re right. He isn’t.”

Just like that, the guards lifted the sorry soul out of his booth and began ushering him out of the club. He made a weak attempt at promising an ability to make Billy money, but the latter wasn’t interested in a business centered around dangerous sex. Billy considered himself a purveyor of the opposite; of passion, and real passion only came when all parties were conscious for it.

“Steve.”

The musician paused to look back at him, already on his way back to the greenroom or wherever he hid in between performances.

“Sit with me.”

Steve’s gaze flicked down to the now available seat next to Billy. “No, thanks.”

As if he could - 

He did.

Steve walked away from the table. Billy saw the more discretely dressed guards loitering in the crowd turn and begin to approach Harrington...before distinctly letting him pass.

It was not a regular day that Billy Hargrove’s employees feared someone else more than him.

He pressed his back into the booth, and one of the women sitting along the back of the booth leaned down to hear him. “I want his file.”

“Yes, sir,” she purred. It took no time at all for her to return to his table with Harrington’s business papers. Typical tax form, resume, no cover letter but instead a CD with his music samples.

“What about his background?”

Her nails raked through her long, black hair. She played the part of groupie very well. “We don’t have anything yet.”

Billy found that hard to believe. “He’s worked here for weeks.”

She shrugged a bare, shimmering shoulder. “He hides very well. We’ll have something soon.”

Not soon enough.

Billy took to wandering his club instead of sitting. Why they didn’t just haul the musician into Billy’s office for questioning…no sensible person detonates a bomb without knowing the area is clear. They didn’t know enough about Steve. Whether he belonged to a family scouting the borough before encroaching on Billy’s property.

Would it be their fault for sending in a mole without honoring the proper channels? Yes.

Would it be Billy’s fault for starting an underground war for harming Steve first? Also yes.

So he watched. So he waited. And he began to enjoy this game he and Steve had developed. Because Steve wasn’t as oblivious. He looked pretty—the kind of pretty that some mistake as dumb—but Steve had proven in many, subtle ways just how observant he could be.

The way he managed his band members’ alcohol or obvious drug addictions.

The second time he hauled some petty dealer over to Billy’s booth.

When he flipped Billy off as he walked away after Billy tested, “I noticed you like brunettes.”

“No, you haven’t.”

Steve watched Billy. And Billy watched Steve. At least, Billy suspected. Billy hoped.

The confirmation arrived in the humid alleyway behind his club. He was already itching for a fight. For the last two weeks, a new asshole had been loitering around and inside his business. No one had yet been able to catch him doing anything—until Billy followed him out of the wrong exit. Nobody could use service doors at the back of the building; it was both a safety hazard for civilians to be in the way of delivery trucks, and any squeals about people coming and going from there would have the police riding Billy’s tail.

Then the bastard had the audacity to take two girls who were definitely sporting fake id’s outside.

He slammed the service door against the brick exterior to get their attention. All three of them were huddled and necking between two garbage bins. A real class act.

“Jail bait bimbos, get inside. This asshole can lock himself in a concrete box without your…help.”

The distinct memory of Steve delivering roofy dealers to him flashed in his brain at the sight of the blissed out girls using the alley walls to stay upright. The memory flew out into the main street at the glistening darkness on both of their necks, dripping into their low cut shirts.

In the window of Billy’s surprise, the guy attacked. Slammed Billy right against the other side of the alley, knocking the air out of him—

Billy’s brain couldn’t keep up. But his eyes could.

A large hand gripped the gelled hair and wrenched the guy’s head so far back that Billy heard a threatening pop.

Billy had never stood next to Steve before. He stood just a little taller than Billy—both smaller than the impressive figure he’d watched so many times on stage, but also bigger because he’d never been this close…

Billy was officially having trouble breathing as he watched the man’s wide eyes darting around his sockets despite his broken neck and the disgusting angle of his windpipe.

“This spot’s taken. Tell your hovel to skip town. You won’t get a fourth chance.”

Fourth?

Billy’s eyes stuck on the bloody, long teeth in the man’s gullet before Steve shoved him down the alley. The man landed several yards away—no ordinary shove—but he hauled ass to his feet, head lolling on his shoulders with more sickening crackles.

Billy remained stationary as Steve fixed the shirts and jackets falling on the girls’ shoulders went to hail a cab. One of them recovered faster than the other, and hauled her friend into the vehicle. By this time, Billy managed to say, “What will they do with those stained shirts?”

Steve looked at him, suddenly looking remarkably…normal. Even startled, like he’d forgotten Billy was there. He didn’t hold Billy’s gaze, instead looking a bit downward—

“What will you do about yours?”

Billy frowned, blinking twice before he looked down at himself. It took him a moment to see the difference in his dark blue button-up. But he glistened like the girls did. Slowly, his mind caught up and realized how warm the side of his neck felt, and how gross. Wet. Dry. Sticky. Crusting.

“How did I not even notice?”

Like a dream clinging onto his waking consciousness, the blurry numbness subsided, and Billy realized his throat really fucking hurt.

Steve’s gaze dropped even further, tilting away from Billy as he pointed at the doors. “Go and clean yourself up. Go home.”

Leave it to Billy Hargrove’s pride to stack his spine back together. He stepped off the alley wall and into Steve’s space.

“Don’t—” he turned his face further to the side.

“Explain,” Billy ordered, even as Steve’s hand lifted to cover his mouth.

Steve shook his head a little. “I don’t have to,” he muffled and lifted weary eyes. “Clean yourself up.”

The answers were right there. Yet it seemed…stupid to say any of it out loud. How many movies? Book? Shows?

Instead he said, “Show me.”

Steve’s jaw clenched. “You don’t play with bears like this.”

Billy laughed. He laughed Steve all the way out of the alleyway. Billy only regretted this when the next evening, the secretaries of the business ran through the week’s itinerary. Steve wasn’t scheduled.

A long week progressed of Billy thinking over that night. How the hell a guardian angel with teeth and no wings lived his nights in Billy’s cage and Billy had just…taunted him into slipping right out of the bars.

When another week presented itself with still no sight of his musician, Billy knew he would have more than one inconvenience on his plate. His customers liked Steve. Statistically, the club was fit to bursting since a third more clientele showed up for the band’s gigs. Steve made the barkeeps laugh in between numbers. Billy had always thought he used the alcohol in the greenroom instead of taking up the bars’ time.

Instead he dropped rats right into the king’s lap. Creatures Billy never would have seen unless Steve made them visible.

“Schedule Steve’s group on Sunday.”

His secretary frowned at him. “Am I missing something? We’re off on Sundays.”

“He knows that. Just use whatever number he gave you.”

Billy waited behind the club. Perhaps he should have arranged a specific meeting time instead of just the vague Sunday, but…Steve was punctual to his usual call time. Billy heard his footsteps the same moment the lighter in his hands crackled softly under his cigarette.

Steve approached with his hands in his jean pockets. Then he entered the harsh lighting of the motion-detected beams above the doors. “You don’t look good.”

Because he didn’t. Steve made tired look good but he had met the line between tired and haggard. His lips were chapped and the lights above him put his eye sockets into harsh contrast. Billy missed the lush face he watched bathed in neon stage lights.

Steve only met Billy’s gaze briefly before looking back down the alley. “Haven’t been to the grocery store lately.”

“By ‘groceries,’ do you mean my place?”

“And if I do, then what?”

Billy smirked as easily as blinking. “I don’t recall firing you. You didn’t have to run—”

“Yes, I did. Dipshit.”

Billy moved his tongue over his teeth while he grinned. “Why didn’t you finish what he started? Three easy meals right there.”

“And swell up like a mosquito? Gross.”

Smoke sputtered out of his mouth. “You’re not what I expected. In any regard. It’s a wonder my employees haven’t been inspired by your recklessness. Or my letting you get away with it.”

“There’s no letting anything happen. We’re not all teeth. There’s nothing you could do if we don’t want it to happen. It’s the same on your side for humans.”

Billy’s next exhalation seeped out of his mouth. Slow. “Are you taking your time? Circling a stronger prey?” He tapped the ash off his cigarette, and watched Steve’s irises flick to the movement. “Most people come to me for my looks, money, or power. Is it the same for you?”

“No.”

That might’ve caught Billy off guard, if he didn’t feel gently nailed in place by Steve’s eyes lifting to his own. It was Billy’s turn to look down—down at the fingers grazing Billy’s hand as Steve reached for the cigarette. Took it.

“You’re easy prey because you’re already dying. You smoke a pack of these a day. The rest of the criminal cityscape would celebrate your funeral. A wolf’s goal is to eat. Not bragging rights—well. For the smart ones. We go for what’s easy.”

Glass-blue eyes wandered Steve’s face as he took a long inhalation. “I’ve never been called ‘easy’ in my entire life.”

Steve shrugged and—politely—aimed his lips to the side. Billy wondered how much he’d mind if Steve’s smoke graced his skin. “What can I say? We hunt the same way lions, tigers, and bears to. We go for what’s attainable with minimum effort.”

“You’re lazy.”

That overarching fringe bobbed over his head. Of course Steve had taken the time to style his hair. “Yeah. Pretty much.”

Billy took his cigarette back with a huff. “I’ll decide later how insulted I should be. Until then, you’re the one looking like easy pickings.”

“You haven’t thrown anyone out of your place lately.”

That took an extra minute for Billy to process. “You…huh.”

Steve’s head moved with his eyes rolling onto him. “You don’t really think people in this city leave any bar without a fight, do you? I’ve had plenty of dinners on your tab.”

“Well, don’t let me stop you.”

Steve’s mouth lifted slightly in a skeptical grimace. “What’s the catch?”

Billy took his time with the last drag and stepped on the filter on his way to minimize the distance between them. “Explain to me why some pervert bites me and I’m fighting a hard on for two weeks?”

A rigid second passed, and then Steve crumbled into laughter. He laughed like a kid. A really cute little shit.

As Steve recovered, he heaved, “I’ve never heard anyone complain about the bite boners.”

Billy followed him as he reclined against the alley wall. “How about, instead of avoiding what’s really at play here, you admit to wanting to bite me. You’re usually on top of the rats that enter my business. But not that night.”

Steve stood on his own feet, making Billy feel the one inch he had on him. “And what if I did? What if it wasn’t your smell that made me crave, but jealousy?”

His musician’s bravado flickered when Billy’s tongue traced the edge of his bottom lip. “How do I smell?”

“Like smoked peaches.”

Steve was proving an annoying skill at making Billy dumbfounded. “What?”

He giggled anew. “Are you the type to fuck without kissing?”

Billy absorbed that and returned, “You like to kiss after blowjobs, don’t you?”

Steve wagged his head, so his words drifted back and forth over Billy’s mouth. “Yeah? So what?”

Billy inhaled deeply to make a show of sighing like humoring Steve’s romantic ethics was tiring him out—

Steve’s hands cradled his head with care, the soft sound of Billy’s hair scrunching underneath his fingers filling his ears as Steve licked inside Billy’s mouth. The latter’s jaw went slack, letting Steve in and meeting his tongue to taste him right back. Apart from the smoke, Steve tasted mutely sweet. The way a clean mouth does; the way a man should taste. Billy had always thought the way a person tasted was a uniquely intimate thing. Like a special piece of DNA could only be read with the tongue.

Steve’s tongue retreated so he could fully kiss Billy’s lips. When the lazy, soft pecks seemed to be Steve’s only intent, Billy gripped his shirtfront, the only warning he got before Billy licked the seam of his lips, wanting more. Wanting what they started.

“Mhm…is everything…a power trip with you?” Steve mumbled, but his breath shuddered when Billy pressed his hard groin against Steve’s pelvis.

“Bite me and fuck me—”

The lights went out, because they were tucked far enough behind a garbage bin for the motion detectors to not see them. Steve’s attention moved between these details and he uttered, “Next to the trash?”

Billy growled, “Ughh,” and hauled Steve off the brick and into his off-day business. “I should’ve guessed you were high maintenance.”

But right inside the doors, Billy tapped in the access code to a private elevator. “Where are we going?”

“Top floor penthouse.”

Steve snorted. “You’re like my cockatoo bragging about the highest swing.”

“You have a bird?”

“Yes, I have a bird! A little asshole named, Orchid. He whistles to all of my songs.”

“You’re the strangest excuse for a vampire I’ve ever seen.”

“And you are easy. Thanks for showing me the key to your house.”

Billy looked at him and met a toothy smirk. “Pisces, huh?”

The elevator dinged and Billy was too deep to back out now. He couldn’t tell which of them was the hunter, but he was ready to share a hell of a meal.

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Eternal Love ~ Diavolo x Reader

Today was supposed to be just an ordinary day of school, until I was informed by Lucifer that Diavolo wants me to attend the council meeting as well, so who am I to deny such a gracious invitation?

Apparently, we were supposed to discuss the plans for the school’s festival, and they picked me to be the leader, which should be pretty fun!

“That sounds like fun! Thank you for trusting me with something as big as this! But...What do I have to do? Is there anything fixed already, or do we brainstorm and come up with the most exciting thing?” I asked, giving the prince a cat-like smile of excitement. “We change ideas yearly, so I’d like to hear all your thoughts and ideas that come into your mind.” Diavolo asked us, which made us all ponder.

After discussing the official problems, like budget, what each class wanted to do, if there were any problems, or two classes who wanted to do the same things, any objections, we started coming up with ideas.

“How about a band? I’ve seen you during Karaoke nights, and Asmo’s voice is amazing! Besides, you’re all thousands of years old, I’m sure all of you know how to play at least one instrument. And Levi, if you don’t want to take this as a Guitar Hero type of game, and are too socially anxious, you can make the band’s costumes!” I suggest, which made the brothers talk between themselves. “I wanna be the vocalist! And we gotta sell lots of merch...How much are we gonna charge for admission?” Mammon got incredibly excited, which made Lucifer sigh and shake his head. “Well, that settles it. The idea is rejected.” he muttered, making me sigh as well. “Great...No more music...But how about a play? Doing little plays is quite a thing down there in the human world. What do you say?” I asked, snapping my fingers in realisation. “Ohh, I bet that would be fun!” Asmo chimed in, along with his brothers. “And it means we can cosplay! I’m all in!” Levi grinned in glee. “Sounds like fun! Y/N, you’ll be in charge of putting together the production.” Diavolo nodded at us, giving the approval. “That means I am allowed to come up with the play’s script? And the roles? What to do with the background, music, costumes, magic effects and all that?” my grin widened even more, as did his. “Of course! Have fun, that’s the most important thing! By the way you’re so enthusiastic, I’m sure the end result is going to be great. Do you already have an idea?” he asked, which made me nod vigorously. “Y/N, what are you going to work on first? Also, you’re going to have to give all of us an assignment.” Lucifer pointed out, but most of it got overlooked. “I’m going to write the script! I am inspired by a beautiful story from the human world, written a century ago, but only published recently. Is that okay?” I asked, trying to hold on to my excitement. “Ohhh! Is it a tragic love story, like Romeo and Juliet?” Asmo asked, jump behind me, and hugging me. “Yes, much so much better! It has romance, it has fantasy, it has adventure, it has tragedy, it has despair, it has sorrow...It has everything you can think of, all thread together in such a wholesome story!” I explain, which made Asmo take a hold of my hands, waltzing together messily. “I love it! Let’s do it! Can I be the prince charming?” he giggled, which made me stop and smirk. “I...Had something else in mind. Diavolo, do you want to be in our play?” I let out a low chuckle, which seemed to make him widen his eyes. “Of course! I would be honoured to get included in it!” he grinned, giving a mirthful laugh. “Sweet, then it’s settled! I will do my best to work on the script and give everyone their roles, come up with some music, special effects, the background decor and costume ideas. Now, you’ll have to excuse me, I have to go have a talk with Simeon.” I smirked mischievously as I skipped out of the council room, not caring about Lucifer’s protests, since I wasn’t officially dismissed.

The whole night I spent revisiting the book I had in mind that would be the influence for the script, and started writing on my laptop everything, while listening to Eurielle’s many angelic songs and sending them to Simeon, so he would know what to do.

Needless to say, I was nothing short of excited beyond borders of imagination, clearly never having expected to be able to take part in something so great, as to create and take part in a play of such caliber...There’s no way I won’t make this anything more than perfect, that’s for sure, especially since this book has been so close to my heart and soul for a long time now.

And so, days passed, Simeon agreed to be the harp player, since he’s an angel and nobody could best him, and the narrator was Solomon, who would help me and Satan with the magic effects.

I would be the female protagonist, while Diavolo would be the male protagonist. Barbatos would be the one to sacrifice his life to save Diavolo. Satan was going to be the frenzied werewolf, while Lucifer will be the enemy hound turned ally that would fight alongside Diavolo.

Belphegor will be the evil king, and Beel will play the role of his most loyal servant, while Asmodeus shall be the girl’s father, and Mammon would be one of the Gods, the Judge of the Dead, Master of Doom.

This left Luke to be one of the enemy werewolves, while Levi, who would have as few lines as possible, considering he would be too busy with the costumes, would be the owner of the Hound.

And so, we began rehearsal for the play, earning lots of praises from everyone for writing something so great in such a small amount of time, while also keeping it short, making sure nobody would forget their lines and timings by mistake.

“You’re doing very well, Diavolo! But try to be a little less stiff, okay? Try to relax, it will make things more natural.” I started massaging his shoulders as soon as I gave everyone a little break. “Sorry, I guess I’m a bit intimidated since you are a natural at this.” he chuckled lightly, offering me a thankful smile. “Hmm...I wouldn’t say I’m a natural, per se, but I read the original book a few times before, and I wrote the script. Or maybe it’s because I’m a human...I don’t know, it’s always been easy for me to act.” I shrugged, dragging a chair to sit in front of him. “That much is obvious. Look at them, you inspire all of them to learn their lines and come up with the best version of themselves. It’s very rare when I see everyone working together so diligently...Thank you for you effort, Y/N.” Diavolo took ahold of my hands, squeezing them lightly. “No need to thank me, Dia...I’ve always dreamt of doing something like this, but I never really had an opportunity to do anything more than 1 minute skits. This is a dream come true...So really, I should be the one thanking you instead.” I chuckled, tilting my head slightly. “I’m glad to hear that, then. There is no doubt in my mind that the festival is going to have more success than it ever has before.” he grinned, making him look something like a Golden Retriever puppy. “And you don’t even know about my Trump Card. Well, in truth, nobody really does...Except for Simeon, but I have a reason to that, so you better be eager and awaiting for that.” I winked at him playfully, which seemed to get him in an even more curious and cheerful mood. “I certainly can’t wait until we perform on stage.” he nodded, making me take a deep breath and smile softly. “Yeah...Me too.”

I said that, and yet, time sure flies so fast that I barely realised today was the day of the play, and Asmo and Levi were helping me into my costume, doing my hair and make up, while the others were in their demon forms - Except for Diavolo, of course - and so, we went backstage, checking that the lights were perfect, the background decor was in check, Solomon had his lines written down, since he will be backstage, yet his voice will resound throughout the room regardless.

“Is everyone ready?” I clapped my hands together, grinning and biting my lip, trying to keep my nervousness in check. “I’m a nervous wreck!” Levi whined, and yet, he was thankful he didn’t have to do too much on stage. “I can’t wait to get up on stage and SHINE!” Asmo chimed in, pushing Levi to the side. “Diavolo...Are YOU ready? You are the protagonist, after all. You have the most lines, the most interactions with everyone and so on.” I look at him with a gentle smile. “Y/N, Diavolo has been doing public speeches for centuries and longer, I doubt he’d be as anxious as others are...Or you, that is.” Lucifer gave a side smirk. “Don’t speak for others, Luce~!” I thrilled playfully, earning nothing more than an amused scoff. “I am more excited, than nervous, but Lucifer isn’t wrong.” the prince chuckled softly, giving me a nod of thanks. “Very well, then, the play is going to start now. Solomon, Simeon, it’s your cue.” Lucifer pointed out as Levi and Satan raised the curtains just as Diavolo got on the stage, and was surrounded by fire and some magic-made enemies.

Diavolo’s make up made him look as if he had been fighting long and bravely, and yet, he and his army lost, his father was defeated by the enemies, and now, he was trying his best to escape with his life.

“Diavolo, the son of the Leader of Men, was the sole survivor of the attack from the Dark Lord, the feared Belphegor, the once God of Valar, who turned evil and stole the Sacred Jewels, the ones who gave immense power to Elves, the pure Silmarils, and so, he was able to easily wipe out every village of men, dwarves, dunedain, trents and elves alike, with no such thing as discrimination. And so, the brave Diavolo ran away from the place he once called home, that was now nothing more than fire, ruin and ashes flowing in the sky, and found himself in another place altogether. It was the realm of Elves, the most beautiful and gracious beings alive, and here, in Doriath, he ended up in a glade, filled with so many colourful flowers, illuminated by the silver light of Mother Moon...And there he saw her.” Solomon narrated the story, and then stopped for a few seconds, allowing him, Satan and myself to mutter some spells so the background will change, along with the holograms and the lights.

There was nothing more than darkness, for just a split second, which allowed me to jump up on the stage, and thus, a gentle light appeared, with me in the spotlight, as I did a small dance, while surrounded by holographic forest critters and a unicorn.

“There, his eyes found her, a maiden more fair than any he has seen before, and he was unsure whether he was being cheated by some spell, or if what he was seeing was reality, for the pain he felt was no more...And he was wondering whether seeing her cured if of all wounds. Blue was her raiment, as the unclouded heaven, but her eyes were grey, as the starlit evening; her mantle was sewn with golden flowers, but her hair was dark as the shadows of twilight. As the light upon the leaves of trees, as the voice of clear waters, as the stars above the mists of the world, such was her glory and her loveliness ; and in her face was a shining light...And so, Diavolo fell in love with the Elleth dancing in front of him.” Solomon continued the story, which was my cue to stop dancing.

“What is this I am seeing? A mortal ranger, wounded, seeking refuge in Doriath, the Realm of Elves? You must be rather bold, are you not?” I stopped dancing, and approached him, circling and interrogating him. “I had nowhere else to go, My Lady, for the Dark Lord, Belphegor, has laid waste to my home and my family. I am the sole survivor, yet my heart burns with sorrow and need to wreak vengeance upon the enemy who took my father’s life so cruelly.” he explained, regaining his senses and breath. “I see...So Belphegor has started his rampaging once again...It truly is a pity that life cannot be without death inflicted before its time. Very well, then...I shall welcome you in my home, so you can feed yourself and have your wounds treated.” I nodded at him, motioning for him to follow me, only for him to stop me with his questioning. “My Lady...May I know the name of the fairest elleth in the world?” he asked with such a gentle and sweet tone, that it made my heart skip a few beats. “My name...Is Luthien.” I answered, looking down for a few seconds, before turning away once again. “Y/N...Y/N...Such a beautiful name, for such a beautiful woman...And your voice rivals any nightingale. You are a wonder among wonders.” he spoke out, making me widen my eyes and blush, flustered, turning around to face him properly. “You should not speak such sweet words without telling your name first, stranger. It would be nothing less than disrespectful, especially should my father be informed of this folly of yours.” I spoke a bit harshly, yet the jesting tone was obvious in my voice. “My name is Diavolo, my dear, and from the moment I laid my eyes upon you, I fell in love with you. You will have to forgive me for being so bold and rash with my words, I am but a simple mortal man, yet my heart will know no more joy unless you know my feelings for you.” he spoke, kneeling in front of me, which took a lot of effort not to blush more than I already was. “Raise up, brave warrior, and let me heal your wounds, both the flesh ones, and the ones your heart felt so far, for I seem to share the same feelings as you do.” as so, I put my hands over his, and humming a little song, I made a spell to remove the dirt and make up from him, so it would look as if his he had his wounds treated.

The lights went down once again, the background changed to that of a kingdom, and Asmo, wearing a crown, as he was the Elven King, sitting on a throne, and of course, he was shining, beautiful, glorious, just as he always is.

“You think you are worthy of my daughter’s heart? How foolish! You, nothing more than a mere human, whose life is hanging by the thin thread of a spider that could be so easily severed, even by something as insignificant as an illness? I commend you for your braveness, so I would not say, foolishness! I shall allow you to stay here, but you are a mortal, and your place is not here, among the elves!” Asmo’s voice was serious and booming, which was something not many would expect from someone as soft and adorable as him. “My Lord...With all due respect, but my heart belongs to your daughter, and no power in this world is strong enough to erase my love for her. I beg of you, Lord Asmodeus, allow me to marry your darling Tinuviel, and if you need me to prove my worth, give me any task, and it shall be done!” Diavolo kneeled in front of the throne of the lord, who frowned in displeasure. “Tinuviel...? Now you went as far as to give my daughter the nickname of a Nightingale...You heard her angelic voice...You are truly undeserving!” he leaned forwards in the throne, slamming his fist on one of the armrests. “Father, please, hear him out! His love for him is as true as the beauty of the stars, and so is mine for him! You will doom me to an eternal life of sorrow, should you not accept him, so father, please be reasonable!” I fell to his feet, hugging his legs, and I was sure Asmo’s face softened with conflict, as he put his hand on my head, as a way to make me raise my gaze. “My daughter...You, an immortal, fell for someone who will die before you can even realise you were courting him. However, if you are so sure of your own feelings for him, then I shall give him a task, to prove himself worthy of you, my darling. Listen carefully, Diavolo, for I will only say it once - Should you succeed in getting back at least one of the Sacred Jewels, I will allow you to wed my wife.” he spoke, which made me jolt to my feet in an instant. “But father...! The Three Silmarils were all stolen by the Dark Lord Belphegor, the very foe who destroyed his family and village! You are dooming him to sure death!” I gasped, letting a few tears fall down my face. “If that means I will be allowed to marry you, then I will do anything you wish me to. I thank thee for this opportunity, and I shall depart at morn, at the earliest hour.” Diavolo nodded, sharing a look with Asmodeus, which made me throw myself at the man. “No, Diavolo, don’t go! You will perish, if not by the Dark Belphegor, but by his lackey, Sauron, or one of the countless orcs he’s making! You cannot succeed...Not on your own!” my eyes were wide with fear, and he only smiled softly, kissing my forehead gingerly. “Have faith in my, my darling nightingale, for I shall return to you, no matter what. I vow on my pride as a human, so wait for me, and if I shall not return, I beg of you to sing me a wonderful requiem, but not to mourn for me. I love you, Y/N.” he spoke, before leaving off the stage, and so, the lights went off once more.

The stage became now an elvish stronghold in the middle of a wasteland, where Diavolo met Barbatos, Leviathan, Lucifer and a few more generic elf-holograms, and they talked about how to get inside the enemy’s garrison.

“And so, Diavolo arrived in the wasteland, the territory of the enemy, only to stumble upon an elvish stronghold, where he met Barbatos, another Elven King, Leviathan, one of the sons of the Elven Lord who once created the Silmarils, and his loyal Hound, Lucifer, the most powerful Hound, dating from the First Ages. Prophecy has it that only the most powerful werewolf could ever defeat Lucifer, so Leviathan knew that he could trust his companion. While Lord Barbatos agreed to join Diavolo’s cause, as he once swore an oath to Diavolo’s father, to aid his kin if in need, so they took a few warriors and went to the enemy territory disguised as nasty orcs. Leviathan, however, was very much against their quest, as he believed the Silmarils belong to him, legacy from his father, so he took Lucifer and went after them.” the white haired wizard spoke out, letting the scene unfold before him.

“Are you with me, brothers? I will be honest, my quest is a selfish one, and by taking the Jewel, I will be allowed by Asmodeus, the Elven King, to marry his daughter, the fairest maiden to exist. However, I am sure that no matter what, as soon as the Jewels are out of Belphegor’s posession, the world will have less peril and ruin.” Diavolo spoke out, which seemed to impress the Elven King. “As per the oath I swore to your father long ago, when we first fought side by side in wars, I shall aid you in any quest you will find yourself, young Diavolo. To hear that my old and dear friend met his doom by the hands of the Belphegor’s lackeys is nothing short than an insult! I am with you.” Barbatos spoke out, patting Diavolo on the shoulder and taking a few trusted men by his side. “You cannot take the Silmarils from the Dark Lord, Diavolo, no matter with how many men you march to his garrison. The Silmarils belong to my family, for my father forged them, and they gave power to the Two Sacred Trees of Valar! You have no right to take them, no matter the affections your mortal heart holds for some elleth you don’t deserve!” Leviathan frowned, at them, but Diavolo didn’t heed any of his warnings. “I am sorry, Leviathan, but this must be done. I shall not allow Belphegor to wipe more innocent lives from Arda, out Earth!” Diavolo spoke with much confidence, fire and conviction, leaving the place, while also igniting a fighting spirit in his men. “Not fair...That’s not fair! How could they even think of doing something like that?! Lucifer...We must stop them at all cost! And did you hear that? That stupid, wretched human wants the hand of the daughter of King Asmodeus! Ha, as if! But imagine...If we take the Silmarils, and I give the King only one, without him knowing that I possess the other two, he will surely let me wed Y/N, and we will create a strong alliance this way! Everyone will bow down to me, the Mighty Leviathan!” he chuckled darkly, motioning for Lucifer to join him as they ran away after Diavolo’s party.

“What nobody was aware of, however, was that Y/N, afraid for her paramour’s fate, fled from home in search of Diavolo, to aid in the task he was given - And yet, just as she arrived on the enemy’s territory, she was found by Lucifer’s keen sense of smell, which allowed his owner to kidnap her and imprison her in a tower, guarded by Luke, one of the most powerful werewolves in Beelzebub’s army. As she was left alone, in a cell, she pleaded to Lucifer to let her escape, and it seems he, for once in his long life, felt pity for the elleth, and decided to aid her.” Solomon continued the story, and so, the stage changed to the prison tower I was held captive in, with Luke, dressed very uncharacteristically evil, was guarding me, and Lucifer’s eyes bore straight into my soul.

“Why would one, so strong and great as yourself, aid the cause of evil? Leviathan, a once proud elf of benevolent will...His heart became darker than the nightly abyss. Look at what he is doing - Trying to cheat my father, to deceive him, only for his own selfish desire to quench his thirst for power. He is miserable, that one, but he is more pitiful than ever. I wonder, my poor Diavolo...Have you seen him? Is he still alive and well? Oh, how I miss him so, and fear for his life, for he is fragile, and brittle, nothing more than a human resembling the first Snowdrop of Spring. May the great Eru Illuvatar watch over him, for I cannot but mourn and sing for his glory the way I am now.” I grabbed the bars of the cells, letting tears fall down my face as soft sobs escaped my throat. “Tell me, Y/N...” Lucifer spoke, for the first time in ages, as he crouched down to my level, and said, in a softer voice, as to not alarm the enemy. “Are you willing to do anything to save your beloved mortal? You speak of my master’s pitiful state, and yet, you do not see yourself and the misery in which you wallow as we speak. I can sense your magic is strong, and you could aid the one you hold so dear to yourself. Should you lend me your power, I will be able to properly defeat your enemies and help your reunite with him. Will you accept me, Elleth Princess?” his voice was velvety, as with one hand he raised my chin up, to look into my glistering eyes. “Yes.” was the only answer I gave him, as he raised with a smirk, piercing poor Luke with his glare.

Muttering a spell, I proceeded in putting a protective shield around Lucifer, that grated an improvement in his powers, and so, he was easily able to take down Luke. However, sensing danger, Beelzebub, the Dark Lord’s most powerful vassal, came forth to attack him, in the form of a werewolf, knowing the prophecy, the only way of defeating the Great Hound Lucifer.

But it was in vain, for my power, combined with Lucifer’s, meant for nothing short of greatness, and so, we were able to defeat him.

“Beelzebub, you have been defeated, and so, you must free all the prisoners you have taken! There is nothing more for you to do, except to obey!” my voice was firm, and clear, and with a growl from the defeated lord, he begrudgingly freed the prisoners, before he became one himself. “You will not escape this place with your lives still your own, you silly elleth! You think anyone can defeat the Dark Lord? Never! Belphegor is undefeated!” Beel’s dark, booming voice echoed throughout the dark prison tower. “We seek not to defeat him, but deprive him of most of his power. And we will succeed, without question, nor fail.” I spoke with grace, sure of myself, until Lucifer guided me away from the cell. “Maiden, you must flee. Enemies are making their way here. Take this passageway and be reunited with your lover. I will make sure not even one of these disgusting orcs may come and hinder your path.” Lucifer said, staying on high alert. “I will eternally be grateful for your aid, Lucifer. I wish to see you soon, and well.” I nodded at him, running away, and the scene cut with Lucifer getting ready to fight some holograms, while Beel was able to flee by transforming into a fly and getting out through the barred window.

“But not everything turned out as great on Diavolo’s side, as he, too, was ambushed by enemies, and his whole little army was taken captive, and executed one by one, until only Diavolo himself, and King Barbatos remained. Enraged by this folly, just as the human was about to get mangled by the great werewolf executing them, the Elven King managed to break the shackles and wrestled the beast with all his might, until both of them perished, and thus, successfully completing the vow he swore to his father.” Solomon continued on the narration, as the stage showed, for just a little bit, the heroic act of Barbatos sacrificing himself, allowing Diavolo to escape with his life.

“Go, and complete the task you set yourself on! Be successful, and reunite with your lover once more. There may came a day when you will die, but I assure you, today is not that day. I have already foreseen your greatness.” were the Elf’s last words, as Diavolo thanked him, and the scene was cut once again, to where I and Diavolo are reunited at the gates of the throne room.

“Diavolo, my darling, you are alive! I prayed and prayed for the great Eru Illuvatar to shine his light upon you and protect you from harm...And here you are, alive, and in my arms once more! I cannot but weep in joy, seeing you before me, my beloved Diavolo!” I cupped his face, examining him for any wound, before kissing his face, not caring that the height difference was making it pretty difficult. “Y/N...! My beautiful nightingale, what fareth thou in this terrible place? You should be safe, at home, with your father, not on this plagued wasteland of death, in the heart of the very enemy we fear the most!” he was shocked, and afraid for my well-being, but before I could reply, a long tail swept him away from my embrace, throwing him to the ground, and the enemy was revealed none other than Leviathan, who wore an evil smirk on his face, looking down at the mortal. “You...! How dare you do such a thing! First, you imprison me, wanting to use me for my father’s power and title, and now, you try to destroy the one being I love the most in this life? Unforgivable! You will never be welcomed back to Valinor, not matter how much you beg and grovel on your knees!” I threatened him, but he only seemed to laugh mockingly. “How adorable of you, some weak elleth, to think that you could come between me and my aspirations. You truly believed some mortal would be able to take the great Silmarils, feat that so many armies of Elves failed to do? You have lost your mind, Y/N! But here, with his death, you will have no more reason to be here. I heard your voice is truly magical...If your voice was to put to sleep the whole place, stealing the Silmarils would be an easy feat, and so, I will be the most powerful an Elf can get!” Levi spoke out, his long tail swishing left and right, as I ran to Diavolo, holding him to my chest as I healed his wounds...Only to notice a figure rushing towards us, and it was now my turn to smirk, as the enemy was trampled to the ground, easily destroyed. “Lucifer, you have returned so fast! The enemies proved to be no match for your might, did they?” I grinned brightly at him, as he only scoffed in amusement. “And your paramour seems to be doing great now that you’ve healed him. It seems that my former master became driven by evil more than I anticipated...It truly is a pity that he turned this way, but there was no way to live the way he did.” Lucifer spoke, and so, the place went dark, so the stage would change to Belphegor’s throne room, him, wearing a crown.

Taking a deep breath, I started singing a spell, just as Leviathan previously suggested, which put to sleep every living being in the place, and so, Diavolo was able to cut away one of the Jewels from his crown. He continued with the second one, but misfortune seemed to follow us, as a little piece from the crown fell on the Dark One’s face, waking him up from his slumber.

“You...! You, puny worms, truly think you could defeat me? Steal away the Silmarils from my possession, and walk away, unscathed?! How impertinent of you! You shall be tortured for an eternity, and even longer than that!” Belphie’s growl resounded through the place with an even graver tone, thanks to Solomon’s magic.

Diavolo took my hand, and we started running, the light flashing, to make it look as if we were going for a longer pace, until we arrived at the gates, guarded by none other than Satan, a werewolf bred specifically to kill Lucifer, to complete the long-foreseen prophecy.

“Satan attacked Diavolo, and before he, or Lucifer, could retaliate, Satan bit off the hand that was gripping the Jewel tightly. As Diavolo ell to the ground, gripping his hand and wailing in agony, the purity of the jewel emanated a strong light in the werewolf’s belly, which set him on a frenzy. He was berserk, clearly lost his mind, and there was nothing that anybody could do to reverse the process. This feat of luck, however, allowed the maiden to call out to the mighty Eagles, who flew them back home. Together, they spoke the tale of their adventure to King Asmodeus whose heart softened by everything they have been through, and despite not completing the task, allowed the two lovers to marry.” the sorcerer spoke the tale, that seemed to be the happy end...

The scene cut to just a few weeks later, the background showing the Kingdom getting destroyed by the Werewolf Satan, and Diavolo and Lucifer going to bravely destroy it, but unfortunately, the triad ended up perishing altogether.

“The story that was fated to have a happy ending, became drenched in blood, as both her beloved Diavolo, and her trusted companion, Lucifer, died together to prevent the rampaging Satan from destroying anything more in his path.  The girl, who was waiting by her father’s side, was worried beyond belief, as her father embraced her, trying to sooth her concerns, as Diavolo was a strong human, and had Lucifer by his side... But not long afterwards, a ravaged Diavolo, barely dragging himself upwards, grabbed Asmodeus’s hand, putting the Sacred Jewel that he extracted from the Werewolf’s belly.” Solomon continued the story, as the music turned even graver.

“No...No...! Diavolo, my darling, hang on, please, I will heal you! You cannot die! You cannot leave me like this...After everything we went through! We weren’t even given the time to marry...!” I sobbed, holding Diavolo’s body to my chest. “My beautiful Y/N, all I did, was for you, and now, I am truly worthy of even daring to ask you to marry me. It is selfish, I am aware, but I am but a mere mortal, and thus, as my life ends, I ask you to please hold me in your heart and memory, as dear as I hold you. I love you, Y/N” he spoke with his last breath, before going limp in my arms. “Y/N, my sweetling, I’m so sorry this happened...” Asmodeus knew no words were going to stop my wailing, take away my sorrow, or mend my irredeemably broken heart, and only held me, as I screamed to the sky, cursing fate, and the Illuvatar, the stars, the moon and the sun. I cursed everything in existence, even time, for taking away the one I loved the most, until the scene was cut by the lights, and we could hear the audience gasping, some of them lightly weeping, some even cursing as well and telling their pity.

“There was nothing more her father could do to bring back the joy in his darling daughter’s life, and with his heart broken, just like hers, he allowed her to leave his home, and watched her walk away, to the Halls of Mammon, until he could see her no more, and the horizon was overshadowing her unseeable form.  So, she arrived at the Halls of Mammon, the Judge of Death, the one who was stoic and unmovable in front of everyone, never wavering from his judgement of anyone’s souls. The walls were covered by tapestries woven by his wife, depicting life as it is, from the beginning of times, until the present. Y/N laid on the ground, singing the song of her ill fate, of how she will never be able to meet her beloved once more, not even to properly say goodbye to him, feat that would break her heart even more.” the scene revealed only myself, in the Halls of Mammon, in front of the stairs to his throne, as Simeon’s harp started slowly mellowing everybody’s senses, giving them a sense of amplified sorrow, as if the play so far didn’t already play with their heartstrings.

“Oh great Mammon  High among Valar I come to you in sorrow And with a broken heart Long has been my journey That led me to these halls But now I kneel before thee As grief my spirit calls I seek a man named Diavolo  Whom I bid await me here I pledged that I would find him Before he leaves this sphere This man of whom I speak He gave his life for me But thence my soul grew weak And at last it too broke free So borne upon an urgent breeze I travelled to this place Where only one thing could appease The torment I now face Oh tell me I am not too late To see my love once more For that would be too cruel a fate I beg him be restored That we may take a little time To bid our last farewell And remember all we shared erstwhile Such joy no one could quell For never was a greater love Than that within our hearts Once born, forever binding us E’en though through death we part”

My voice was powerful, mournful, my face wet from the river of tears streaming my cheeks, and I am sure I shocked all the demons present, for sans a few basic, simple songs, I never showed them my skill in singing, nor that my voice was, as Simeon described it, pretty angelic, so adding the harp was nothing short of heavenly.

The scene ended with me, dying, as I laid on the stairs of the throne, and through the silence, as the lights were slowly dimming, I could hear Mammon sniffing and trying his best not to sob.

“I cannot let this be the end of you and your fateful love story. With the power that has been bestowed upon me, I shall change this dreadful fate, into one more wonderful, as you deserve. You have fought and braved such a storm to be together, and death will not be the place of your eternity.” Mammon spoke, his voice wavering, barely able to keep himself straight.

“The Great Mammon, for the first time in his eternal life, felt his heart moved by the elleth’s song, feeling pity for the fate of the two lovers, so ruthlessly torn apart, so he allowed himself a tiny bit of self-indulgence, for as soon as the fair maiden’s life ended, from her broken heart, he restored both her and Diavolo’s life, yet this time, he awarded her mortality, so she would be able to live her whole life together with him, in happiness, as they deserved.” Solomon’s words were the cue for the scene to change back again, to the glade where he first laid his eyes upon me, and we were embraced in each other’s arms, gazing at each other with love.

“Why ever would you give up your immortality, my darling Tinuviel? You were immortal, had the time on your side, and your father, and people, there for you. I do not understand, my sweetling, so please explain to me.” he asked, looking down at me, brushing away a strand of hair from my face. “I would rather spend one short life time with you, then be teased with a few years by your side, that would pass for me similar to blinking, and then realising that you are in my life no more. Life without you is meaningless, my beloved Diavolo. I love you, and this time, an untimely death is not going to keep me away from letting you know my feelings loud and clear.” I spoke out in a soft voice, getting on my tip toes and pulling him into a loving kiss, which he reciprocated. “I will love you forever, with all my heart, my beautiful Y/N.” he said, as so, the curtains were closed, indicating that the play was over.

The audience started cheering, whistling and clapping loudly, as I motioned for everyone to come on stage so we could give the final courtesy to them, as a thank you for watching our play.

As we got off the stage, Asmo jumped on me, kissing my cheeks, and continuously praising me for how amazing I was. “You, my darling, were truly the star of the play! Why did you never tell me you had such an angelic voice?! Honestly, we should definitely go to karaoke and have you sing more!” “Sure, Y/N’s voice was a shocking surprise for everyone, but we have to applaud how amazing Lord Diavolo’s performance was as well, don’t you think?” Lucifer mused, earning an agreement from the butler. “And let’s not forget that Levi’s costumes were absolutely amazing. And the magic was amazing.” I pointed out, clapping for everyone. “Everyone was completely awesome today. Thank you for doing your absolute best...You managed to make my dream come true, and I’m very happy.”

And so, we all changed into our comfortable clothes, and went to celebrate at Diavolo’s castle, drinking and eating things we ordered from Hell’s Kitchen, setting off some fireworks, doing karaoke and all that...

But for some reason, I was feeling rather...Off, so I went out in the garden, taking a nice and relaxing stroll through the flower-guarded path, until I reached a nice gazebo by a pond and I sat down on the grass, dipping my feet in the cool water, looking up at the moon and letting my thoughts wander.

I wasn’t sure for how long I was there, alone, until a voice woke me up from my trance, and Diavolo sat down next to me.

“It’s not safe for a human to go wandering carefree in Devildom, you know?” he spoke jokingly after a few seconds of silence. “I am in your gardens, aren’t I? I find this the most dangerous, and yet, the safest place in Hell.” I let out an amused breath, which he seemed to mimick. “You wouldn’t be wrong to believe that. Why did you leave?” he asked, looking at the reflection of the silver moon’s on the mirror sheen of the water. “I needed some fresh air, I guess. And you?” I asked back, doing the same as him. “I noticed you weren’t around, so I went to look for you.” he smiled softly, leaning back a bit. “Thank you for your concern, but I am fine. Go back there and have fun. You earned it, after the amazing performance you put there. You were absolutely terrific.” I tilted my head to give him a small smile. “But there is something on your mind, isn’t it? You can talk to me, if you want and feel like it.” I tried to encourage him, as he nodded to me. “You are unbelievably perceptive for a human, aren’t you? No wonder you managed to get Lucifer’s brothers to finally get along. I was just thinking why you chose me to be the lead of the play. I wasn’t expecting that, to be fair. I thought you’d choose Lucifer, or Satan or maybe even Asmodeus...But you didn’t, and I’d like to know your reasoning.” he asked, his voice going softer with each sentence he spoke. “...I wonder if anyone noticed how lonely you are. You try so hard to have the brothers, and others, forget that you are a Prince, and act with you normally, to include you in their activities, so chat with you leisurely...And yet, they all get intimidated by your status. I know what it’s like to be an outcast, and it’s the last thing I’d want you to feel like. I know you like to have fun, so I thought that maybe, for once, you would have enjoyed playing the mortal, while I am the immortal one.” I chuckled softly, hugging my knees, I was met with more seconds of silence. “I was right when I said you would be an amazing influence on us. You are right in everything you said. I’m grateful. If I think about it, it has been a long while since anyone said such nice things about me, without wanting to gain something...Especially since I am a demon. The Demon Prince, nonetheless.” he explained, making me sigh, shifting my gaze to the moon. “I...Well...I think I drank a bit too much champagne, so I guess telling you this won’t hurt, in the long run, anyway. You don’t even have to acknowledge anything I say. Just play it off as a tipsy rant or something...But honestly...You are amazing. You are the kindest person I’ve ever met in my life. I know it’s very short compared to yours, but it’s much more meaningful and impactful to us. You have showed me nothing but kindness and understanding, lots of opportunities to have fun with events, and pranks, jokes, trips...You looked out for me all the time...Especially when Lucifer almost killed me...Which wasn’t few times, really. And you try to bring everyone together, no matter their race or ranks...You are like a big golden retriever who just wants hugs, attention and affection...And your smile and laugh is to die for. If only you’d see the way your eyes sparkle when you’re happy, or feel the warmth of your embraces and how soothing they are. I picked you for more than one reason, Diavolo, and I’m pretty sure it’s obvious now.” I chuckle lightly, not caring about the consequences of my words. “I...Am speechless. Nobody managed to stir such feelings inside me since I first saw Lucifer as an archangel, and this tops it. I cannot but thank you...But now it seems like you’re the one who has things on her mind.” he pointed out, wiping away a stray tear going down my face. “My performance on the stage was so great because those feelings of mine were genuine...But reverse. I am going to die before you even realise it, and just a little later, you’re going to forget me. There is no place for my feelings, no matter how I look at it. I’m mortal, and you’re not. I’m a simple, ordinary human, while you’re the Demon Prince. I will never even be close to being as great as you are. I’m selfish, I’m a jerk, I’m mean, I’m jealous, I’m not talented, I’m not smart, I’m not beautiful...I’m nowhere close to your level, no matter how much I try to get better. Soon, I will have to return back to the human world, and you will still be here, becoming the best Demon King the Devildom ever had...” I shook my head, smiling sadly. “How long have you felt this way?” he asked softly, putting his arm around me, pulling me close to his chest. “A long time...And it only got stronger since then.” I sighed, leaning my head on his chest. “I’m glad to hear that...Because my emotions from the stage were as true as yours. Every word I spoke up there, is true. For a while now, I have been thinking about you and how we could make this work without any of us having to suffer like Beren and Luthien from your story. You are the most unique and beautiful person I’ve met, and I don’t mean only your looks, but your personality and heart as well. I hate it when you bring yourself down and compare yourself to me, because everyone has their own traits that make them who they are.” Diavolo’s voice was gentle and heartfelt, making me raise my head to look at him, searching for the truth in his eyes. “Did you know that this story was written as a tribute to the author’s wife, whom he nicknamed Luthien? The author, Tolkien, fell in love with her when she danced and sang for him in the glade, and since then, he has been very much in love with her...Going as far as to have her nickname, Luthien, written under her name on her grave stone. If that isn’t true love, I don’t know what is.” I smiled softly, feeling my heart skipping quickly. “Humans are truly capable of the most incredible things. They never cease to amaze me, no matter how much time passes. In your short, mortal lives, you are capable of unbelievable potential and wonders. You praised me so much today, but trust me when I say it, I could go for ages complimenting you, and I wouldn’t run out of nice things to say about you. Y/N, trust me when I say it, I love you, and I promise you that your feelings are safe with me, and I won’t let you die. I know a way to make it work.” Diavolo said, putting his hands on my face, as his eyes held only love. “If you’re certain you are okay with it, and aren’t afraid of any consequences, then I can say with no fear that I love you as well, Diavolo. Endlessly.” I grin at him, chuckling lightly as he leaned in, sharing a loving kiss, yet this time, the emotions were flowing much more powerfully than on the stage.

It was true, it was pure, it was ethereal, and definitely, it was eternal.

[happycoincidences]

Big Kpop question tag

I was tagged by @myeoning-call thank you!! ♥

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•Song That Got You Into K-Pop: Bae Bae by BigBang. I first clicked on Loser, I wasn’t feeling it completely but liked it enough to give them another chance so I clicked on Bae Bae, that one was on repeat for weeks. 

(Idk... I think I might seem like an older kpop fan but I got into kpop in 2015. I’m one of those people who when getting into sth they really dig further until the origin of a thing, especially when it comes to music. So I know a lot about 1st and 2nd gen too, and I am mainly a fan of 2nd and 3rd gen bc I’m more around the same age as late 2nd gen - 3rd gen kpop idols, we grew up around the same time so I relate to them the most. For reference I am 2 years younger than Gikwang (late 2nd gen) and Yongguk (early 3rd gen), same age as Ken (early 3rd gen) and Sunmi (late 2nd gen). I heard about Kpop before 2015 ofc but i was in an industrial/obscure electronic music fase before kpop)

• Song That Gets Stuck In Your Head: The Chaser by Infinite is an earworm

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• Fav. Male Group: When it comes to male groups, I make the distinction between ults and mains (ults are the most important, but “main” means I listen to them all the time as well, I just don’t feel as connected to them as people).

Ult: B.A.P, Highlight/Beast, iKON, VIXX

Main: BigBang (they were my first group which is special but I feel less connected to them than with my ults), SHINee, TVXQ/JYJ, H.O.T, SuperM, NCT (WayV mainly), 2PM, Super Junior, Block B 

• Fav. Female Group: Wonder Girls, 2NE1, f(x), Orange Caramel, Brown Eyed Girls, 9Muses, Ladies’ Code, T-Ara, Kara, 3ye

• Fav. Underrated Male Group: “B.A.P we didn’t deserve them”  <- agreed!

• Fav. Underrated Female Group: Spica

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• Fav. Male Soloist: Lee Gikwang, Taemin, Bang Yongguk, G-Dragon, Jonghyun, Woodz, Ash Island (last one is actually khh, and Yongguk used to be kpop but I guess he’s more khh now)

• Fav. Female Soloist: Lee Junghyun (her debut album “Let’s go to my Star” is my favourite kpop album actually!), Sunmi, BoA.

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• Fav. Male Choreography: Drip Drop by Taemin is a classic for me + So many other Taemin performances.

• Fav. Female Choreography: Paradise Lost by GaIn, another one would be 24 hours by Sunmi.

(-> I generally like solo or pas de deux (duo) more than entire group choreographies, it grabs the heart more imo. Tbh as I’m writing this I have ballet performances in mind when it comes to touching you emotionally through dance. Kpop dance has some impressive tricks but it isn’t particularly emotional, which is what’s most important to me)

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• Fav. Subunit: Orange Caramel!! (and WayV if that counts)

• Fav. Senior Male Group: H.O.T if we’re talking about disbanded senior groups, TVXQ/JYJ, Super Junior and Sechskies if we’re talking about still active senior groups.

• Fav. Senior Female Group: Brown Eyed Girls

• Fav. Disbanded Male Group: B.A.P ♥

• Fav. Disbanded Female Group: Wonder Girls and 2NE1 ;;;;

• Fav. Band: N.Flying

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• Fav. Male Rookie: Idk.. Oneus maybe? I listen to them casually. (I consider them rookie)

• Fav. Female Rookie: 3ye (They debuted in 2019, to me that’s still rookie)

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• Fav. Male Dancer: Highlight/Beast Gikwang, SHINee Taemin, B.A.P Jongup

• Fav. Female Dancer: BoA

• Fav. Male Rapper: B.A.P Bang Yongguk

• Fav. Female Rapper: Brown Eyed Girls Miryo

• Fav. Male Vocalist: iKON Junhoe (he has a very unique and ‘harsh/rock’ voice for kpop, my fav voice in kpop), VIXX Jaehwan (Ken), Highlight Yoseob and Gikwang (Gikwang has a good voice but it’s not the most powerful one, but I just really love hearing him so.. :)) ♥♥)

• Fav. Female Vocalist: 2NE1 Bom

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• Fav. Male Debut: Warrior by B.A.P, 7th Sense by NCT U

• Fav. Female Debut: 와 (Wa) by Lee Junghyun

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• Fav. Music Video: The Closer by Vixx !! 

Honorable mentions: Yamazaki by Bang Yongguk, We are the future by H.O.T , Mirotic + Rising sun + O -正.反.合. (정반합) by TVXQ, Lies + Haru Haru + Last farewell by BigBang (those MVs bring me back to when I was a teenager, the low rise jeans, the pink Motorola flip phone.. one of my friends had the exact same one at the time), One Shot + Skydive by B.A.P., Mystery by Beast (both the official mv and their self-made mv) + Adrenaline by Beast/Highlight (a very basic mv but I instantly become happy when I watch it)

• Fav. Underrated Song: The Closer by Vixx, again! Also Outside Castle by H.O.T, Copy and Paste by BoA, Dear. Rude by JeA ft. Cheetah, She’s gone by G-Dragon, and Hikikomori by Bang Yongguk(♥)

• Fav. Male B-Side: Obsession + Divina Commedia by G-Dragon, Blind + 주소서 (Pray) by B.A.P, Love me do + Silence + Trigger by VIXX, Sexuality by Taemin...  

• Fav. Female B-Side: Ca teint moi + GX 339-4 by Lee Junghyun (!! the entire Let’s go to my Star album is a no skip for me), Wonder Girls: almost all of the Reboot Album...

• Fav. Comfort Song: (Most comfort songs are either by B.A.P or by Beast/Highlight because they’re the ults of the ults lol)

B.A.P: Save me, Diamond 4 ya, almost the entire Noir album (+ Ya by Bang Yongguk)

Highlight/Beast: Lightless (unplugged version), Sad movie, Curious, Danger, Sleep Tight

Some H.O.T and TVXQ songs

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Top 5 BG + Fav. Song/s:

B.A.P: Young, Wild and Free (my very first Bap cb and their very first cb after the hiatus and law suit), the entire One shot EP, Power, Feel so Good, That’s my jam, Warrior, Unbreakable, Badman, Excuse me, 1004, Bang X2, Hands up + the ones I’ve mentioned above (+ many of Bang Yongguk’s solo stuff)

Highlight/Beast: Plz don’t be Sad (<- always makes me happy), Breath, Bad Girl, Mystery, Shock, Special, Fiction, Shadow, Good Luck, Celebrate, Love like this, Not the End, Disconnected + the ones I’ve mentioned above (+ many of Lee Gikwang’s solo stuff)

iKON: Killing me, Rubber Band, Bling Bling, Ah Yeah, Dive, Why Why Why, Dumb & Dumber, B-day, Rhythm Ta, I’m Okay

VIXX: The Closer, On and on, Voodoo, Secret Night, Black Out, Hyde, Light up the Darkness, Love me Do (actually produced by Yongguk and it does sound like it could’ve been a B.A.P song♥), Rock ur body, and almost the entire Eau de Vixx album

BigBang: Blue, Bae Bae, Tell me Goodbye, Lies, Last Farewell, Haru Haru, Café, Fantastic Baby, Bad Boy, Let’s not fall in love, Beautiful hangover, La la la, Last Dance (+ many solo songs by G-Dragon, T.O.P and Taeyang)

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Top 5 GG + Fav. Song/s:

Wonder Girls: basically the entirety of the Reboot album, So Hot, Tell me, Why so lonely, Like this, Like money (the version without Akon), and last but certainly not least So Hot + I Feel You (band version♥)

2NE1: Crush, Come back home, Hate You, Can’t Nobody, I love you, I am the Best, Don’t stop the music, Fire, Goodbye (;;;)

f(x): Pinocchio (Danger), Mr. Boogie, Nu Abo, Hot Summer, 4 Walls, Chu, La Cha ta, Electric Shock, Lollipop (ft. SHINee) 

Orange Caramel: Abing Abing, Catallena, My Copycat, Lipstick, Gangnam Avenue, Shanghai Romance, A-ing

Brown Eyed Girls: Kill Bill, Sign, Cleansing Cream, Sixth Sense, Abracadabra, How Come

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Groups Planning to Stan:

A.C.E: (I listened to them casually for a couple of years but I want to get to know them better and I’ve been binging a lot of ace videos these past 4-5 months.)

After School: (I LOVE Orange Caramel, but for some reason I never listened to the main group’s songs)

Infinite: (been wanting to for years, I know a good amount of songs and been listening to them for years but yeah)

(These 3 groups feel like they have the potential to become fav groups of mine.)

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I tag: @alldayxia @fashionbitchgd @epiphanicwiring @larktrash @novararavis @224-12​ @skyisfull​

[taste-in-music]

taste-in-music’s top 30 songs of 2020

Hey everyone! If you missed it, you can check out my year end wrap-up post going over my favorite albums and EPs of the year. This list will go over my favorite songs of 2020, whether they happen to be on those projects or not. My only limit is one song per project, and thirty songs total. Now then, let’s get started! 

First Aid by Gus Dapperton: There is one easy way to get me to love a song, and that’s if an artist adds in another person’s vocals for the bridge and final chorus, hence infusing them with more dimension and meaning. “First Aid” is the best usage of that device all year. The song tackles Dapperton’s struggles with mental health, citing his sister as a large help in the midst of it all. Who best to come in for the bridge and final chorus, then, but his sister (who goes by the stage name Amadelle)? It all comes together to make the final act of the song hit like a gut punch. 

Josslyn by Olivia O’Brien: Every year I have to have my helping of big, sugary, bombastic pop tunes on this list, and “Josslyn” was the first of that type of song I fell in love with this year. This song is full of snark and blunt lines, (maybe don’t listen with mom in the room,) but god help me if it didn’t have one of the catchiest chorus melodies of the year. I’ll shout along to the entire song every time I hear it. 

Frustrated by Lauren Sanderson: Okay, I only found this song by chance, like, last week, (another good reason for postponing these lists until the year is actually over,) and I have to include it. If you love the hooky guitars lines of The 1975, vocalists with a gritty edge to their delivery, and a free-spirited feel that captures the euphoria of youth, then this is the song for you. I may have just discovered it, but I’ve already played it countless times. 

To Me by Alina Baraz: Everything about “To Me” communicates blissful tranquility, from the watery production to the subtle confidence in Baraz’s delivery. Every time I was feeling overwhelmed or stressed this year, (and lord help me, that was a lot,) this was the song I’d always return to to center myself. Baraz demanding respect out of her relationships and the best things out of life was downright inspiring.

Do It by Chloe X Halle: If there is one word I would use to describe this it would be effervescent, this song is so fresh, bouncy, and bubbly, like orange soda in musical form. With its tropical production and effortless vocals, this song made me want to hit a dancefloor like nothing else this year. It was the perfect pop Summer smash that deserved a better Summer.

ringtone (Remix) by 100 gecs ft. Charli XCX, Kero Kero Bonito, and Rico Nasty: This is probably the best remix of the year? The original “ringtone” was a cute, hooky fragment, but this turned it into a fleshed out, full-on posse-cut where each guest gets a moment to shine. Charli XCX turns the hook into an earworm, Kero Kero Bonito contribute their signature chirpy vocals, and Rico Nasty jumps in for an awesome bridge that provides a nice change of pace. And, of, course, 100 gecs are the glue that holds everything together. If you’re new to the gec train, this is a great place to start. 

By Myself by Maya Hawke: “By Myself” was the song that proved that Maya Hawke was way more than the usual actor trying to cash in a quick buck. She was a bona-fide craftswoman with the potential to being tears to my eyes with blissfully simple yet artfully constructed folk ballads. This song feels like a long-forgotten lullaby, gentle and beautiful with just enough woeful melancholy to remain emotionally resonant the whole year. 

killing boys by Halsey: “killing boys” is the epitome of short but sweet. This song is a fifteen second long dialogue bite Jennifer’s Body followed by some of the most focused, atmospheric pop of the year that only lasts two and a half minutes. The way the thudding heartbeat, low plucked strings, and Halsey’s hushed delivery all build to the distorted end is a pure adrenaline rush every time. It always had me coming back for more, and by the end of the year it had climbed its way up into my top 5 most listened to songs of the year. 

Bloom by Donna Missal: It’s not a list of mine without a Donna Missal song, is it? As soon as I saw the name of this song on the Lighter track list, I just had a feeling I was going to love it. “Bloom” is the most stripped-back moment on the album, with just a guitar accompanying Missal, and yet it is also one of the most memorable and evocative songs it has to offer. What the stripped-back production allows is for Missal’s sheer, raw talent as a vocalist to blossom, especially in how she displays so much power not by belting, but by holding back. Accompanied with lyrics that detail the fear of holding someone back in a relationship, “Bloom” is awe-inspiring every time. 

fever dream by mxmtoon: mxmtoon’s double album from this year didn’t leave much of an impression of me, but lead single “fever dream” got countless spins. This song feels like a warm hug, with mxmtoon’s amiable vocals, pillowy indie pop production (the chirps! the chimes! the gentle woodwinds!) and comforting lyrics that seemed to synthesize everything I was feeling while giving me a comforting pat on the shoulder at the same time. Take the line: “I want something more than / More than restless mornings / Getting by is so boring.” Gee, I wonder why I would’ve hit a nerve in a year like 2020?

Shoulda Known Better by Nasty Cherry: From the first chord of the intro’s ringing guitars, this feels dug up from a mid-2000s coming of age soundtrack. In fact, there is an inexplicable nostalgic feel to this whole song, from the frankness the lyrics, to the filmy vocal processing, all of it. And the way the song kicks into a faster groove on the chorus is so fun, it makes me want to speed down a highway every time I hear it, and I hate driving! I guess that’s just the power of a great pop rock song. 

Heart of Glass by Miley Cyrus: Do you ever hear a song that stops you clean in your tracks and makes you sit in stunned silence until it’s over? Hearing this cover for the first time did that to me. I had been wanting Miley Cyrus to take the rock route for a while, but this cemented that my intuition was 100% correct. It’s not necessarily better than the Blondie version, (Debbie Harry’s original delivery is very smooth and nonchalant, Miley’s is more gritty and rough around the edges,) but it fills an entirely different purpose. And that purpose is to be listened to on a never ending loop, in absolute awe. 

WIGS by BLACKSTARKIDS: SURF traverses a slew of sounds, from boisterous rock to hip hop to indie pop. One of the albums best moments, however, comes when all those sounds meet in the middle “WIGS” is a blissed-out in the best way, still providing a memorable hook, (one of the best the album has to offer,) while also letting you relax and hang on for the ride.

Dead Horse by Hayley Williams: This was the most unexpected bop of the year. The lyrics may be all about betrayal in the lead-up to divorce, but the delivery is so upbeat and bouncy that I can often forget just how soul-crushing the content is at times. The production on this is so catchy, with the chirpy, tropical synths, the “ya-ya-yas,” and Williams’s stellar vocals.

this is me trying by Taylor Swift: My favorite songs on folklore came to me in waves. First, “epiphany” was my favorite, with its timely lyrics and orchestral arrangements. Then, it was “the lakes,” with its nostalgic, poetic feel, (consider it a very close runner-up.) But in the end, it was the slow burning ache of “this is me trying” that didn’t just become my favorite on folklore, but one of my favorite Taylor Swift songs ever. Looking back, “this is me trying” synthesizes what I like about those other two songs. It has a grand, atmospheric instrumental and pointed, detailed lyrics, combining the two into a single, perfect, emotional wrecking ball. 

Susie Save Your Love by Allie X ft. Mitski: This was my most anticipated duet of the year, and it didn’t disappoint! This song goes by like a long sigh on a humid Summer night, filled with breathy vocals set against a churning groove. The lyrics detail parties gone wrong and unrequited love with a best friend with just enough ambiguity to allude to something darker hovering under the surface. Mitski’s vocals work great in an alt-pop context, I love what she does with her solo work but I certainly wouldn’t be mad if she hopped onto more tracks like this. Also, that guitar solo makes me levitate every time. 

Fetch The Bolt Cutters by Fiona Apple: Okay, who had “Fiona Apple meows on a song” on their 2020 bingo card? But it works, it works so well! From its opening clatter of percussion, “Fetch The Bolt Cutters” establishes a locomotive groove that never stops moving forward. In fact, the entire song seems to be dedicated to that sentiment, each lyric linking lines about middle school bullies, media critics, and Kate Bush references into their perfect place. It’s a narrative that may span a lifetime, but it still feels as timely as ever. 

forever by Charli XCX: I’ll admit I haven’t returned to How I’m Feeling Now all that much throughout 2020, but I have returned to “forever,” again and again and again. The sugar-sweet hook at the heart of all the blown-out bass is just irresistible. The way it manages to fight to the forefront, cutting through the clouds of distortion like a shimmering pink diamond, is nothing short of hopeful. 

Fit N Full by Samia: This was my instant favorite off The Baby. The glistening guitars make for a sweltering summery jam that you can’t help but move to every time you hear it. The way Samia weaves lyrics about the agonizing pressures of womanhood, diet culture, and body image into a catchy pop hook is pretty genius. She wraps them all up into a pretty package for consumption, just like women are forced to do with their pain. 

Heartbreak Weather by Niall Horan: Niall Horan has made folksy balladry his mainstay, which is all fine and good, but god help me if his turn towards stadium-rocking power pop didn’t result in one of the most anthemic songs of the year. “Heartbreak Weather” is sharply written, lushly produced, and performed with so much spirit and heart that I can’t help but think that this is the genre Horan has been meant to fall into all along. It’s certainly deserving of its title track status. 

Pretty Please by Dua Lipa: Future Nostalgia was an excellent showcase of Dua Lipa’s mastery over nonstop pop bangers, (”Physical” is the very close runner up for this list.) But surprisingly, it was the breather moment on the album, the song where everything slowed down, that really hooked me. I’m gonna say it, “Pretty Please” is so fucking sexy. The whole song screams sensuality, from the lyrics, to the bass line, to the funky synths, to Lipa’s delivery. It may not be as in-your-face as its peers, but it deserves just as much hype. 

Woo! by Remi Wolf: I had such a hard time picking a Remi Wolf song for this list that I had to resort to the raw data. “Woo!” ended up on my Spotify Wrapped, so “Woo!” gets this spot. This song just works in some ramshackle way I can’t describe, all the disparate pieces come together with so much charm. The way Wolf’s performance effortlessly flip-flops between jaunty half-rapping modulated with distortion to full-blown, raw belting on the bridge is a wild ride of the best kind every time. 

gold rush by Taylor Swift: We have another entry for the highly esteemed category of songs that capture the feeling of butterflies in your stomach. This latest Antonoff-Swift collaboration is a wistful, glittery whirlwind that captures the simultaneous excitement and soul crushing realization of a blooming crush. The way the dreamy intro snaps into the steady thrum of the rest of the song, before the song fades out in the same way, as if to illustrate how your mind can race to dozens of different places all within in the moment of meeting someone? Damn, I’m getting butterflies just thinking about it. 

Eugene by Arlo Parks: “Eugene” is a testament to soft-spoken heartache, as Arlo Parks details watching her straight crush in a relationship with a man. The song is incredibly intimate, both with Park’s hushed vocals and the specific details she utilizes in her writing, (Sylvia Plath poetry, a cigarette hanging between purple lips.) It all comes together to make the song all the more personal and heart-aching. 

People, I’ve been sad by Christine and the Queens: Christine and the Queens have perfected setting emotionally resonant sentiments against wire-tight grooves, and “People I’ve been sad” may just be their most elegant effort yet. The echoing, stuttering drums, fluttering backing vocals, and reverb give the track a wide sense of space, which perfectly illustrates the loneliness Chris describes. But there’s also this intangible warmth to the song too, harking from the strings and Chris’s introspective performance. Just gorgeous. 

XS by Rina Sawayama: Picking a song of SAWAYAMA for this list was damn near impossible. My first favorite off the album was the nu metal rager “STFU!,” then the slinky intrigue of “Akasaka Sad,” then the glitter-flinging “Tokyo Love Hotel.” But did those songs end Karl Marx’s career with their razor-sharp critique of capitalism? No. Hence, “XS” gets this spot. The craftmanship of this song is so impressive, with the rock guitar hits contrasted against the glossy pop production, Rina’s pitch-perfect performance, the witty lyricism, everything. This will go down as a classic in Ms. Sawayama’s discography, no doubt!

Guilty Conscience by 070 Shake: I didn’t even realize this was one of my favorite songs of the year until I was writing this list and felt like something was missing. This feels like a song that plays for the last stragglers on a prom dance floor. It’s melancholic yet just upbeat enough, sprawling yet buoyant, and hooks you in with the perfect balance monstrous, shimmering 80s synths undercut with rattling modern trap percussion. It’s just irresistible. If HBO doesn’t put this on the next season of Euphoria then they’re fools. 

I Know The End by Phoebe Bridgers: I don’t even know if I can describe the full impact of this song, so I’ll keep to short. One word: catharsis. The way this sound builds up from signature Phoebe Bridgers Ballad™ to forceful rollick to gut-wrenching climax gives me chills every time. I don’t want to spoil it. If you haven’t heard it before, go listen to it, (preferably with the rest of the album, too.) If you know, you know. 

Delete Forever by Grimes: Okay, now who had “Grimes makes the best country song of the year” on their 2020 bingo card? I certainly didn’t. I’ve loved Grimes’s work in the past for its ability to transport me to another place. “Delete Forever” does the exact opposite in its discussion of loss, exhaustion, and hopelessness, rooting me right to where I am. But you know what? I think I like that a lot more, especially when the song incorporates a lush acoustic guitar and strings, sunny synths, and just enough optimism to remind me that there is always hope to keep the darkness from fully taking over.

circle the drain by Soccer Mommy: This song was in the running for my favorite song of the year since even before the pandemic began, for its classic 90s-alternative sound, for its clever production choices, and for its anthemic feel. But as the year went on, it just kept getting more and more emotionally potent. I’ve been wanting to look at the songs and albums I’ve discussed on these lists without putting on pandemic-tinted glasses, but the truth is, that experience drastically shaped my year, and how I consume music. The lyrics in this song were so goddamn relatable as this year kept spiraling and it felt like I was along with it. “circle the drain” showed me that it’s okay to be feel like I was “falling apart these days.” Because those feelings are not new, I’m not alone in feeling them, and I may keep feeling them, but you know what? I’ll still have this song, in fact, many of the songs on this list, to return to when I do. 

Here are some songs I loved this year that didn’t come out in 2020: “Nikes” by Frank Ocean, “Prom” by SZA, “Rhinestone Eyes” by Gorillaz, “Anyone Else But You” by The Moldy Peaches, “Cold War” by Cautious Clay, “Plans” by Maude Latour, “Sleepyhead” by Passion Pit, and “Narcissist” by No Rome ft. The 1975.

Whether you liked, reblogged, or commented on a post, sent me an ask, or interacted with this blog in any way, thank you so much for all the support throughout the year! I can’t express how much I appreciate it.

What were your favorite songs from this year? Did I miss anything? Send me an ask and let me know. I’ll tell you my thoughts, or put it on my to-listen-to list if I haven’t heard them.

Here’s to 2021! May it clear the extremely low bar set by this year.

[lifeonashelf]

COLDPLAY

Let’s get this straight right off the bat: Coldplay is fucking terrible.

We all know this. Designating Coldplay as terrible isn’t a statement of personal opinion, it is an easily demonstrable fact. Just listen to them; Coldplay’s music proves the existence of Coldplay’s terribleness the same way that breathing proves the existence of oxygen. Surely, even the band’s staunchest supporters understand that their songs are pretentious, monotonous, and unimaginative—they’d kind of have to; I assume these people have listened to Coldplay, too. If you like music as superfluous as Coldplay’s, that’s totally fine. I’m not here to tell you that you shouldn’t, nor to convince you to stop listening to Coldplay (you can’t stop listening to them, anyway; no matter how hard you try to escape, wherever you go, Coldplay will find you). But they are unequivocally fucking awful, and I need to make that clear before we continue in case I end up saying anything courteous about them later. And, who knows? I may indeed find something positive to say about Coldplay—I mean, nothing comes to mind right now, but it’s going to take me a few hours to write this piece so it’s possible something will at some point.  

Okay, so we’re all clear on Coldplay being fucking terrible, right? Great. But that isn’t the main reason I hate them. I appreciate plenty of terrible bands just as I appreciate plenty of terrible movies. Listening to a really shitty group is sort of like watching a cast of really shitty actors—though they clearly suck at what they do, there’s something oddly appealing about the charming naiveté they demonstrate by giving it the best go they can anyway.

For instance, since I was still filing most of my Warped Tour emo discs in my punk section when I began this venture, I never got around to writing about a band called Adair. If you’re not familiar with them, don’t worry about it; they only existed for a few years in the mid-aughts and their diminutive discography merely consists of a self-released EP and one full-length album, The Destruction Of Everything Is The Beginning Of Something New. Sonically, Adair were so amusingly prototypical of every baby t-shirt screamo band that was thriving at the time, they essentially sounded like they were parodying the style of music they played (although, to be fair, a lot of those squads did). But, Adair were absolutely serious, regardless of what stridently nasal heights the vocals reached, regardless of how faithfully their compositions adhered to their genre’s textbook page by page, and regardless of the sublimely ridiculous realms some of their allegorical angst lamentations ventured into (the line “lock me up in Guantanamo Bay and throw away the key” from the song “I Buried My Heart In Cosmo Park” may very well be the lyrical apex of their entire genus).

Adair’s music is so inane that it makes me laugh out loud when I sing along to it—but here’s the thing: I do sing along to it. I have probably played The Destruction Of Everything Is The Beginning Of Something New a hundred times from start to finish since my copy was sent to me to review for some website back in 2006, and I have cued up individual high(low?)points like “The Diamond Ring” and “Folding and Unfolding” even more times than that. As silly as they sound—and trust me, they sound very fucking silly—I still sincerely enjoy their tunes and have spent enough hours listening to TDOEITBOSN for it to possibly qualify as one of my favorite records ever. Shit, even writing about it right now makes me feel like hearing the disc, so I’ll probably end up blasting it in my truck tomorrow (ed. note: I actually did). If they ever decided to do a reunion tour, I would absolutely go see them, and if vocalist Rob Tweedie did that whole “hold the microphone out toward the crowd so they can finish the lyric” thing which every frontman in every band that sounds like Adair does at least a dozen times per show, I would totally be able to fill in each of those blanks and enthusiastically do so.

Sorry, we were talking about Coldplay. To recap, they’re fucking terrible.

Unlike a frivolous whimper-core ensemble like Adair, the most off-putting thing about Coldplay isn’t their music. They’ve actually managed to excrete a few tracks that I grudgingly enjoy over the years. However, sporadically releasing songs which don’t sound like they were specifically written for Gap commercials actually works against Coldplay in this instance. Sure, most of their output is noxious twaddle, but since they occasionally come across as a marginally decent band, their work isn’t awful enough to at least ironically appreciate it for being awful.

In fact, there’s absolutely nothing ironic about Coldplay—other than U2 and Radiohead (more on them in a minute), I can’t think of another band that seems to take itself as dreadfully seriously as Coldplay does. There isn’t a single lighthearted number in their entire catalog, and the demeanor of their music is so staid and cheerless that it’s hard to imagine the dudes ever cracking a smile while they’re making it. Their approach to songwriting is rigidly Pavlovian—when the music gets louder, ring ring ring, that signals the listener the *really* poignant part of the tune has arrived and cues them to emotionally salivate in kind—yet despite their calculated use of sonic dynamics to manufacture sentiment, the vapid and unspontaneous nature of the delivery saps their tunes of anything resembling genuine soul or passion. Even when thrusting through the more energetic tracks in their litany, the musicians in Coldplay always sound like they’re actively striving to not play their instruments too hard. The result is that they consistently deliver some of the safest and least edgy rock ever created, shaping their ethos around a formula so willfully tepid and cuddly that they barely qualify as a rock band at all. Coldplay aren’t quite the musical equivalent of plain yogurt (that would be Jack Johnson, an artist so comprehensively flavorless that even his name is fucking boring) but the granola in their mixture is always judiciously distributed so as not to agitate anyone’s tastebuds.

And at the center of this slow-motion kaleidoscope, you have Chris fucking Martin (I find it difficult to cite his name without including the “fucking” in there; he’s just one of those guys—like Jason fucking Mraz, Blake fucking Shelton, or fucking Bono). Coldplay’s music may be stagnant, but you’d never know it from beholding the practiced arsenal of slinky paroxysms their vocalist bursts into while that music is playing. In performance and in their videos, Martin’s appendages are incessantly in motion, his hands ever-swaying gently through the air like he’s waving a pair of invisible cigarette lighters or finger painting on the goddamn sky, ostensibly so deeply lost in his band’s reverie of sound that he simply can’t help himself from moving his body in a cadenced pantomime of the way their music is meant to superficially move your spirit.

For the three non-ballads the group has written in their career, Chris usually switches things up by crouching in an incongruous bobbing panther-stance like a battle rapper delivering a diss track about fucking his opponent’s mama in the mouth, until it’s time to freeze in the tried and true messiah-statue pose as the number’s final notes chime into the ether. But it is in the quiet moments when Martin truly shines—which makes perfect sense given that he’s the leader of a group so systematically anodyne they probably should have actually named themselves Quiet Moments. These are the obligatory interims where the frontman takes the stage on his own to sit down at the piano, resplendent in the spotlight, and perform an intimate solo rendition of one of his most tender hits to show everyone in the audience that Chris fucking Martin is a bonafide fucking musician who, if he really felt like it, could totally do the whole Coldplay thing without the other three dudes whose names no one knows. His soaring falsetto croon is custom-feigned for the arenas the band was destined to coldplay from the moment they dropped their breakthrough single “Yellow” and caused a nation of book-sensitive sociology majors eagerly anticipating the arrival of their generation’s U2 to cream their Dockers in unison. When Martin opens his pipes to summon those indelibly contrived choruses about birds and stars and other monosyllabic nouns, it hardly even matters what words he’s singing—the leitmotifs in most of the tunes are basically interchangeable anyway. What matters is that Chris sounds like he really, really, really means it when he says he will try to fix you.

That analysis probably makes it seem like I hate Chris fucking Martin as much as I hate his band. I actually don’t—he’s too benign a character to elicit such a fervid response; hating Chris Martin is like hating turtleneck sweaters, or actual turtles. In fact, I suspect he’s probably a really nice dude.  At least, I’ve never heard any creepy stories about him showing his penis to under-aged fans on Skype or anything like that.

Regardless, while I don’t specifically despise either Martin, Dude Who Plays Guitar, or the other two anonymous members of Coldplay, I do gauge their collective as the fourth or fifth worst band of all time. And the reason I loathe them more than any of their neighbors on that list is because they aren’t the kind of prodigiously abysmal group you can just ignore until their moment in the spotlight inevitably passes—which is how I dealt with Five For Fighting from September 2001 through February 2002 and how I’ve been dealing with Twenty-One Pilots for the last four years (seriously, are you fuckers done yet?). Coldplay is a far cagier nuisance because they are massively popular and have been for a ludicrously long time. I’ve been patiently waiting for them to go away for two decades now, yet they continue to pop up every third summer or so to drop a new album and remind us that, yes, they’re still here assiduously mining the middle of the road for new ways to write more tunes about clouds being pretty.

Even worse, I can’t disregard their music because it’s everywhere. I hear “The Scientist” while I’m shopping for cereal at the grocery store, I hear “Talk” when I sit down to eat at any chain restaurant, and I imagine I’ll be viewing that idiotic video for “Adventure of a Lifetime” with the posse of animated dancing monkeys on an infinite Clockwork-Orange-eyes-gaping loop for the rest of eternity when my mortal essence exits this world and I am cast into the fiery pits of Hell. I can’t even watch football without encountering Coldplay, as I discovered with horror in 2016 when they took part in the most fatuous jumbled fucking mess of a Super Bowl halftime show the NFL had ever presented (a zenith of suckery which seemed impossible to eclipse until this past February, when Adam Levine showed up covered with prison tattoos and said, “hold my beer”).

The pervasive level of esteem Coldplay has reached dumbfounds me. This is a group that has sold millions and millions of albums worldwide, even though I have never once heard a single person utter the phrase, “man, that new Coldplay song kicks ass.” I’m sure their most dedicated fans have favorite hits, tracks that are significant to them in some way, etc. But their remarkable success is patently disproportionate to how patently unremarkable the work which garnered that success really is. Nobody ever describes the band’s music as “awesome”, just as nobody ever describes a glass of pinot gris as awesome—the term simply does not apply to their province; actually, in this case, describing the mouthfeel of Coldplay tunes and recommending cheeses they best pair with is probably more relevant than discussing how they sound. Coldplay is as universally popular as they are precisely because they aren’t awesome. They’re not beloved because they’re extraordinary; most people love them because they’re innocuous, functional, and suitable for almost any occasion—Coldplay is akin to a pair of cargo shorts, and no one thinks cargo shorts kick ass. Coldplay isn’t an alternative band (on the contrary, almost every good band is an alternative to Coldplay); they are a lowest common denominator band, undemanding and ubiquitous and safe to like because everyone else likes them. Their work is specifically geared toward people who think appreciating music demonstrates sophistication, but don’t ultimately give enough of a shit about the artform to put any effort into finding music that is actually sophisticated or appreciable. You may assume Coldplay is erudite because they’re British and they cite books you’ve never read when discussing the lyrical themes in their work, but they’re merely recycling the same emotional territory as every other pop act that writes tunes about finding love, losing love, missing love, and the 18th Century French peasantry.

The best thing about being a Coldplay fan is that it’s easy. You don’t have to buy their records, go see them live, or make any concerted effort at all to receive their music. If you listen to the radio for any extended period of time (or eat at an Applebee’s), you will eventually hear one of their songs; all you have to do is not hate it and, voila, you’re officially a Coldplay fan. There, don’t you just love the security of venerating a critically and commercially acclaimed band that will never challenge you or be unpopular?

Okay, I do strive to be fair—even in this arena where I can say whatever I want and no one can argue with me. I gave this a lot of thought, so here are four things about Coldplay that are not terrible:

 1)      “Clocks”: I resisted it for many years, but I finally had to concede that it’s kind of a pretty song. Notes of red currant and blackberries, and it goes superbly with a nice aged brie.

2)      “God Put A Smile On Your Face”: It doesn’t put a smile on mine, but that’s why I enjoy it. Most Coldplay songs sound like they’re aiming to evoke what being hugged by a koala bear feels like, so I appreciate Chris fucking Martin delivering a darker number that seems intent on making me feel depressed instead. Well played, sir.

3)      Viva La Vida, Or Death And All His Friends: I sincerely respect their effort to broaden their palate a bit by working with Brian Eno and making Dude Who Plays Guitar buy a distortion pedal to use on one song. This is still an archetypal shitty Coldplay record, but at least it sounds a little different than all of the other archetypal shitty Coldplay records.

4)      Nah. They’re still fucking terrible; they were lucky to get three things.

 There is one additional facet of the group’s career which has fascinated me over these past several years, even though it relates more to bands that are not Coldplay rather than the band that is Coldplay. Earlier I dubbed them the U2 of their generation, and recent events in particular have coalesced to underscore that comparison. See, when Coldplay came out, the tributes to their Irish brethren in choreographed affectation were far from subtle. Chris fucking Martin’s warbling was plainly modeled after fucking Bono’s, Dude Who Plays Guitar served up an endless cycle of repetitive but hooky high-register licks that were striking similar to the distinctive methodology of The Edge, and both bands’ workmanlike rhythm sections held things down with competent yet discreet backing tracks which militantly fulfilled each song’s basic requirements rather than showcasing the musicians’ dexterity. I don’t think anyone ever disputed the collective homage in Coldplay’s dogma, and no one was terribly bothered by it either; at the time there were a lot of people craving a band that sounded just like U2, because U2 didn’t sound like U2 anymore.

When Coldplay’s debut album Parachutes was released in July 2000, fucking Bono and company’s career was on a downward arc after they largely vacated their signature approach to instead craft a couple poorly-received discs dominated by insipid rave-lite tunes that not even the members of U2 listen to anymore. Though they would temporarily rebound later that year with “Beautiful Day”, the last honestly excellent song they would ever record, U2 had left a gap that needed filling. And the most obvious inheritors of their kingdom, Radiohead, had grown tired of anthemic guitar rock; they were hunkered down creating their demanding but exceptional opus Kid A, which sounded nothing like U2, nothing like Radiohead, and indeed nothing like any other music being made on planet Earth. Kid A still had some anthems, still had some guitar, and still had a little rock, but its oblique delivery clearly demonstrated that Radiohead was chasing a far different muse and had little interest in claiming the crown (of course, this would be abundantly clarified in hindsight when they subsequently slid further down their rabbit-hole, gradually abandoning the anthems and guitars and rock altogether, until finally settling upon their current songwriting formula, which seems to mostly involve Thom Yorke masturbating on his laptop, naming ten of his climaxes, and calling it an album).

So while U2 were busy trying to figure out why they weren’t relevant anymore and Radiohead were busy doing whatever the fuck they were doing, the lads in Coldplay stepped up and said, hey, why not us? They seized the ersatz-earnest arena rock mantle with A Rush Of Blood To The Head and never looked back. Now, 17 years and seven multi-platinum albums later, they can ruin the Super Bowl, collaborate with the Chainsmokers, and even make the same kind of lameass dance music that essentially buried U2’s career with impunity. Even more significant, they have come full circle. A group that started out playing second-rate U2 facsimiles under the moniker Pectoralz (this is absolutely true, by the way) is now one of the hugest pop institutions in the universe, beloved by millions of music and wine connoisseurs across the globe. And the student has eclipsed the teacher; U2’s desperate efforts to play catchup have made their modern work sound unmistakably like second-rate Coldplay facsimiles. Chris fucking Martin and those other three guys are no longer pretenders to the throne—they are Coldplay, and this is their empire now, bitches.

These days, U2 has to reprise their old records in their entirety on nostalgia tours to get anyone to come to their concerts, and Radiohead continues to release unlistenable albums which their fans claim to love while sheepishly casting them aside to listen to OK Computer for the thousandth time instead. But Coldplay has strategically situated themselves for an eternity as the undisputed emperors of rock mediocrity. I think they’ve got another two decades in them, too; I have no doubt that long after Twenty-One Pilots is (finally) relegated to the county fair circuit where they belong, Chris fucking Martin will still be promising sold-out crowds that lights will lead them home and having a series of polite, gently-articulated seizures while he sings “Speed Of Sound”.

It seems I respect Coldplay a little more than I suspected. You know what? I’m going to amend my original valuation right here and now. As of this moment, I am formally designating Coldplay the sixth worst band of all time.

Your move, Godsmack.

 May 15, 2019

[soobiniebaby]

Angels &  Devils Part II: Someone Say What’s Going On

Tomorrow x Together Fanfiction

~ p a r t s : main post || prologue || part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 || part 5 || part 6 || part 7 || part 8 || part 9 || part 10 || part 11 || part 12 || part 13 || part 14 || part 15 || part 16 || part 17 ~ p a i r i n g : love triangle involving choi soobin and choi yeonjun ~ g e n r e : high school au | some social media au | some fluff & angst | childhood friends | love triangle ~ l a n g u a g e : English ~ w a r n i n g : contains swearing, alcohol, kissing (?) and may contain mature themes (angst, etc.) ~ a / n : This will be my first fanfic (go easy on me pls) and i’m just writing this as I go along, so bear with me juseyo The setting (place/country) of the story is up to the reader’s interpretation ~ s u m m a r y : What should she choose? Han Baby: the new girl with a troubled past MO Academy: her new high school Choi Soobin: student council president, member of the Ecosave club, volunteer at the Humane Treatment of Animals, member of the Honor Society, a vocalist in the Jazzed club, the school’s all around golden boy Choi Yeonjun: leader of the Dance club, star of the Jazzed club, the school’s it boy with a bad rep 5 best friends, 1 new girl, 1 childhood friendship, 1 epic love triangle? What will this school year bring?

She had been trying hard to ignore the onslaught of messages from Kai, but the last ones he sent got her laughing quietly to herself. It was her 3rd period of the day, Science, and it was the first and only period on her schedule that she didn’t share with Kai or any of his friends. She wasn’t too nervous though, she knew how to handle herself well in most social situations.

She had her phone hidden under her desk, and she was about to give in and respond to Kai’s messages when she heard someone from her left.

“Pst. Hey.”

She looks up and sees a girl smiling at her. She had shoulder length hair and a confident smile on her face. “Um, sorry if that was rude. You’re the new girl, right?” the girl asks. She nods in response.

“It’s fine, yeah, I guess I’ll be living with that title for a bit. You can call me B, though.” B says, flashing a smile.

“It’s nice to meet you, B. I’m Ryujin.” the girl says. She gestures over to another girl beside her. “This is Yuna.” the other girl, Yuna waves at B. “Hey there.” Yuna had long blonde hair and a bubbly air about her.

B waves back with a smile. “Hey, nice to meet you. How long have you 2 been studying here?”

“We’ve been here since freshman year. It’s a great school, I’m sure you’ll love it here.” Yuna says.

“How’s your first day going so far? Did you get the welcoming committee treatment?” Ryujin asks. “All new students get a short tour on their first day by representatives from the student council.”

B shrugs. “So far so good, yeah I was welcomed this morning before first period. It’s a great campus, I’m happy to be here.” she responds, trying to keep her voice low. The teacher wasn’t paying strict attention to the class since it was only the first day and he was just giving an introduction to their subject for the term.

“So, which of the legendary council members gave you the tour? Was it Beomgyu?” Ryujin mused. “Nah, Beomgyu doesn’t usually like dealing with council stuff. I bet it was Taehyun, he’s always down for official council business.”

“The legendary council members?” B asks, laughing a bit. “Actually, it was the 5 of them. Soobin the president, Taehyun the VP, Yeonjun the secretary, Beomgyu the treasurer, and Kai the public relations officer..” B started trailing off slowly when she noticed the odd looks on Ryujin and Yuna’s faces. “What?”

“So you’re telling me that the entirety of TXT gave you the campus tour?” Ryujin asks.

“TXT?” B asks. There goes that term again.

“Yeah, that’s what everyone calls the 5 members of the student council. They were all there this morning for the tour?”

“Entirety of TXT…yes? But it’s no big deal. Ningni–I mean Kai, is my childhood friend so I asked him to help me sort of get settled into the school since I know he goes here, but I didn’t know he was in the student council and everything? It’s no big deal though.” B says defensively, but she can see by the way Yuna’s eyes widened and Ryujin shook her head that somehow, she was wrong.

“You’re close friends with Kai?” Yuna asks.

B nods. “Yeah, I asked Kai to help me get settled in since I knew he was a student here, so I guess he was just doing me a favor?” she says defensively, but Ryujin just shakes her head again.

“Oh sweetie, you have no idea. Not once in the history of MOA has all 5 members of the legendary student council given a single new student a tour.” Ryujin says.

“Ah well, Kai’s my friend so I guess he was just doing me a favor. Really, I don’t think it’s such a big deal.” B says defensively.

“So how are you close friends with Kai?” Yuna asks, focused on the topic of Kai.

“We were best friends back in elementary school, practically inseparable, until we were finally separated when my family had to move away.” B explains. “Since then, I’ve only seen him a few times each year to catch up when we could, but since I got the chance to transfer schools, I ended up choosing the one he happens to go to now.”

“Oh wow, so you 2 grew up together.” Yuna says. “What was he like when he was younger?”

“Kai? He was gross.” B says, wrinkling her nose. “I mean, we were kids. He was a silly boy, always pulling pranks, always teased me and annoyed the hell out of me, but he was the sweetest boy I knew and the best friend I had.” she says, a fond smile on her face.

“Oh wow, I can only imagine. He sounds like he was an amazing kid. Is there any history between you two? Have you ever…dated?” Yuna asks, an intense look on her face.

Ryujin swats Yuna’s shoulder. “Yuna, come on. Can you please shut up about Kai.” she says teasingly. It was only then when B realized that Yuna probably had a crush on Kai.

“Oh, don’t worry, no romantic history between him and I at all. And there never will be.” B says. “I mean I had a crush on him at first when we were kids, but ew god, I can’t see him as anything other than a brother now.”

Yuna raises a brow. “Oh, you had a crush on him? Are you sure you don’t have any feelings for him now?” she asks. B was amazed at how straightforward this girl was, somehow she admired her for it.

B shakes her head. “Positive. None at all.”

“Well now that that’s been settled,” Ryujin says, wanting to steer the conversation away from Kai, “what do you think of his friends then?”

“You mean the other council members? What about them?” B asks.

“Well, in case you haven’t noticed, they’re practically legends at this school. And with good reason.” Ryujin explains. “MO Academy has never had a group of guys as talented, smart, charismatic, and attractive as them around. Especially not all in one group, and especially not in the student council. They’re legendary.”

Yuna nods. “TXT are like the gods of MOA.”

“What exactly is TXT?” B asks. “The guys mentioned it during the tour, but when I asked them they didn’t really know either.”

“It’s a nickname that people started calling them. I’m actually not sure who started it or what it means exactly, I think it means Tall and Tasty, cause they all are.” Yuna says, laughing. “But I think it means different things to different people, depending on who you ask.”

“Tall and Tasty?” B says, amused. “I mean, they are all practically giants.”

“They’re all pretty tasty, too! I mean, you’ve seen them. You spent the whole morning with them. You should know.” Yuna says teasingly.

“I mean, they’re all pretty friendly and nice.” B says. “But I don’t really know them yet, so I really can’t judge.”

“Well if you must know, they’re all pretty much legendary in their own ways.” Yuna says. “First there’s the youngest member, Kai.”

“I already know about him. I grew up with him.” B says, but Yuna interjects.

“Yes, but do you know what he’s like now?” Yuna begins, “He’s dreamy, he’s charming, he’s cheeky, he’s-”

“Yeah yeah, let’s just say Kai is like the human version of Dopamine.” Ryujin interrupts, wanting to keep it short and straightforward.

Yuna nods. “He’s like a ray of sunshine, he’s energetic and he makes everyone feel warm and fuzzy. Not to mention talented, he’s the president of the Art club, he’s part of the instrumental team for Jazzed, and he’s the student council’s public relations officer, so he’s an all-around friendly person.”

“Wait, he’s part of the instrumental team for what now?” B asks. “I mean, I know he’s musically inclined, but I didn’t know if he was still like practicing it.”

“Jazzed, it’s our music club but there’s a lot more to it than music. They’re like an entire production crew or something, you’ll learn all about it on Club Recruitment Day.” Ryujin says dismissively. “Oh Yuna, you forgot to mention that Kai plays basketball.”

Yuna laughs. “How could I forget? He looks adorable in his jersey. Soobin and Yeonjun don’t look half bad either.”

“Wow, I didn’t know he was into sports.” B says, amused. “Do they all play basketball?”

“Nah, it’s just the 3, but Beomgyu and Taehyun definitely aren’t lacking in the extracurriculars either. They’ve all got different things going for them.”

“Different things?” B asks.

“Yeah, take Taehyun for example. While Kai is bright and energetic, Taehyun shines as well, but in a different way. He’s a scholar, so his grades are always topnotch, and he’s always been in the school’s Honors society. He excels at everything he does, such as singing and dancing. He has the best vocals in Jazzed club. He’s the president of the debate club, leading our school into regional championships since he started. Plus, he’s the student council vice president despite being just a sophomore, and he’s set to take over once Soobin graduates. Kang Taehyun is pretty much perfect, honestly.” Yuna enumerates.

Ryujin smirks. “Pretty much, except he’s just too perfect. No one can match him. He’s too focused on succeeding that he hasn’t really showed interest in dating anyone, or rather no one has succeeded in dating him anyway.”

“What do you mean no one’s succeeded?” B asks.

“Well, he has his fair share of admirers, and don’t get me wrong he’s very nice and charismatic, but it’s like he’s too nice? He’ll never flirt, he’ll never show interest. When girls talk to him, you can just feel that he’s not interested, even though he’s really polite.” Yuna explains. “He’s intense, but really nice. He’s like…a King. King Taehyun.”

“In contrast, Beomgyu is more laidback, less intense.” Ryujin begins. “He’s more into anything that has to do with cameras, like film and photography. He’s the best photographer and videographer on campus. He’s also the editor and chief of the school paper, but he isn’t uptight about how he runs it cause they say he’s more like a supportive mentor than a strict manager, but he’s a big perfectionist so despite his carefree style of handling things, he somehow manages to ensure flawless outputs in everything he does. He may be part of the student council, but he feels more like an average student compared to the rest of them, like he can make anyone feel like they’re his friend.”

Yuna nods. “Mhm, yeah, very well said for someone who used to date him.”

B’s eyes widened. “Wow, you and Beomgyu used to date? When? What happened?” she asks, surprised.

Ryujin chuckles at B’s reaction. “We went out last year while I was a freshman. He was assigned to give me my welcoming committee campus tour and we became friends for a bit before we started going out. It didn’t work out between us, and we only dated for a couple of months, but we’re still on pretty good terms now. No hard feelings or anything” she explains.

“You guys were really cute together.” Yuna says in awe. “I mean, you still are. You’ve still got great chemistry, even as post-break up friends, but you 2 were so sweet together. Remember when he played you that song last Valentine’s Day? That was the most adorable thing I’ve ever witnessed.”

“Oh wow, that sounds like something a girl could only dream of.” B sighs. “Wait, Beomgyu can sing too?”

Yuna nods. “Yes, and he can play the guitar like a pro.” she says dreamily. “If I were Ryujin, I would’ve melted on the spot.”

“I don’t melt. You’re just too much of a softy.” Ryujin scoffs. “And yeah, he’s pretty good at playing the guitar. His voice isn’t bad either. He’s part of the Jazzed club as well. Now that I think about it, all 5 members of the student council are in Jazzed.”

“What, they’re all musically inclined?” B asks, amazed.

Yuna nods. “Kai knows the most about instruments, Taehyun’s vocals are heavenly, Beomgyu plays the guitar like a pro, Soobin composes songs like a genius, and Yeonjun was just born to be the star.”

B nods, taking it all in, until she says, “Wait, Yeonjun? Born to be the star? The star of what?”

“Of, well, everything I guess?” Ryujin answers. “He writes songs and everyone says he can sing though no one’s really heard him sing before. And not only is he musically inclined, he’s the president of the dance club too, and he dances like he was born to do it.”

Yuna nods. “I mean, Kai’s amazing, but when Yeonjun dances, I can’t keep my eyes off of him.” she admits. “Not to mention he’s the captain of the basketball team. He dominates the court every time. You’d think Kai or Soobin would do better cause of their height, but Yeonjun’s got skills.”

“Yeonjun sounds amazing.” B says in awe. These boys were starting to sound more legendary by the minute.

Ryujin scoffs. “I mean, he’s great and all, but he’s…complicated.”

B raises a brow. “Complicated? How?”

“Well let’s just say that he’s got a lot of history, with a lot of people.” Yuna begins. “He’s hot and cold, one minute he’s on fire and the next he’s the ice king. First he’ll treat you like you’re the sun and the stars in his world then out of nowhere he becomes this black hole and you’re gone. Just like that.” She snaps her fingers. “I mean, I haven’t had any firsthand experience with him, but our friend Yeji was obsessed with him last year. They only went out a couple of times, but she was crushed.”

Ryujin shook her head with pity. “And despite his record, girls still fall at his feet. Every girl wants to believe that they can be ‘the one,’ I guess.”

“Oh god, no thanks. I was never into bad boys, anyway.” B says, laughing.

“No, don’t get us wrong, he’s not a bad boy. He’s actually a really nice, cool guy. He’s just complicated, is all.” Yuna clarifies.

Ryujin nods “And it’s not just his dating history that’s complicated. That guy’s life hasn’t been very easy on him, either. He even got suspended last year, so it’s a miracle that they let him in the student council again this year.”

B’s interest was immediately heightened. She’d been curious about it ever since Beomgyu let it slip during the tour. “He was suspended last year? What for?” she asks casually.

Yuna shrugs. “That’s the thing, no one really knows. No one ever mentions it out loud. He suddenly stopped coming into school in the middle of our final term. It was weird cause at the time he was already the student council secretary, and although his father pulls him out of school on some days, he was already set to graduate. It was supposed to be his final term at the school, but he just stopped coming to school altogether. And no one really knew why, the council members and everyone on the school board kept very hush about it, as if he never existed. Everyone assumed that his father had finally enlisted him to take over the family business, or that he had suddenly moved away or something, so it was a shock to everyone when his named appeared on the list of student council members again this year.” She explains. “I mean, sure he has to repeat his senior year and everything, but its’s a bit of a surprise that he’s still on the council despite getting suspended during his supposedly final term.”

“That does sound very strange.” B says. Hearing more about it only filled her head with more questions. She also felt sorry for him, as she remembered how bad her last term at her last school was for her as well. “Oh, you mentioned something about his father and the family business? What’s that about?”

“Oh, his father is the CEO of YJ Choi Corporation. His family owns it.” Ryujin pipes in. “You may think that all the students at this school are pretty rich, apart from the handful of scholars of course, but his family is filthy rich. Loaded. And he’s next in line as CEO, so his father sometimes pulls him out of school to do business stuff.”

B lets out a breath. “Oh wow. He does sound complicated.” she says, taking in all the new information. “He sounds very different from how you described the other boys.”

“Well, let’s just say they’re a very diverse group of boys with a very interesting group dynamic.” Ryujin says, chuckling.

“Oh, we haven’t even mentioned Mr. President, Choi Soobin himself.” Yuna squeals. “Now, he’s just absolutely–” she began, but was interrupted when the bell rang.

“Alright students, hope our first day of class was productive for you. I have clearly outlined our syllabus for the term, so I expect some reading to be done in advance. Biology is fun! See you all tomorrow.” their teacher says as he dismisses the class.

“Class is over already? Wow, the period just flew by. Is it really lunch time already?” Ryujin asks.

B shrugs and checks her phone for the time. Only then does she see the number of texts from Kai.

“Hey B, you wanna have lunch with us? We haven’t even mentioned Soobin yet! I’m sure our other friends wouldn’t mind having you with us either.” Yuna asks her excitedly.

“Actually, Kai and his friends already offered to have lunch with me. He’s actually waiting for me outside.” B says apologetically.

Yuna’s eyes widen. “Oh my god, he’s outside our room?? Right now?” she squeals. “Can I walk you out of the room? Maybe you can introduce us.” Yuna asks, her eyes sparkling.

B laughs. “Yeah, sure, let’s go.” she says, collecting her things. As she walks out the door with Ryujin and Yuna by her side, she sees Kai standing across the hall, leaning against some lockers. He stands up straight as he sees the girls walk out.

“Baba! Why weren’t you answering my texts?” he asks, pouting a bit.

“Sorry, I got caught up in something with my seatmates.” she says, laughing. “Ningning, these are my seatmates, Yuna,” she says, gesturing to Yuna, who gives Kai a bright smile and a friendly wave which Kai reciprocates, “and this is–”

“Ryujin! Hey.” Kai says, surprised. “Haven’t seen you around in a while.” he says a bit awkwardly.

B was about to ask him how he knew her, until she remembered her history with Beomgyu.

“Right back at ya.” Ryujin says, laughing slightly. “Well, Yuna and I have to go meet up with the girls. Say hi to Gyu for me.” she says, tugging at Yuna’s arm and giving B a smile before heading down the hall.

B turns to face Kai, her eyebrow raised. “I think you have a lot of explaining to do.” she says.

“What do you mean?” Kai asks, laughing nervously.

“I’ll fill you in on the way to lunch. Let’s go.” B says, hooking Kai’s arm with hers as she starts to walk down the hall.

“Um, Baba?” Kai says, trying to pull B in his direction. “Lunch is this way.” he says.

B lets out a huff, turns around, and pulls Kai in the other direction. “Okay, so here’s what I know so far…”

•°•

“So is it true?” B asks after relaying everything to Kai.

“Is what true?” he asks, his arm still hooked in hers as he leads her past the quadrangle and into the grassy school grounds.

“Um, everything? Beomgyu and Ryujin’s history, Taehyun being a scholar, Yeonjun being suspended last year?” she says in return. “Plus, where the hell are we going? Wasn’t the cafeteria the other way?”

Kai smiles. “Yeah, I guess you can say there’s some truth to it all. And yeah, I know where the cafeteria is, but that’s not where we’re going.”

“Just some truth? What do you mean?” she asks. “And if we’re not going to the cafeteria, then where are we going?” she asks again, exasperated. She hated walking, and it felt like they’ve been walking for an hour even though it had only been 5 minutes.

Kai abruptly stops walking then, startling B as she walks into his chest. “Oof, what–” she starts, but Kai looks at her intently then, which shut her up. She hadn’t seen him look this serious since they were kids.

“Look, people talk. Everyone has a lot of things to say, you will hear many things about me and everyone else in the council. Some of these things may be true, but some of them might be complete bullshit. I’ll tell you everything you need to know later, but right now, I need you to set your curiosity aside and just enjoy having lunch with us.” he says softly. “I know you’re curious, I know how stubborn you can be, I know you’re probably dying to know everything. Trust me, I know you.” he says, laughing a bit when she pouted at him. “But right now I just need you to behave, enjoy my company, and try not to act like a lunatic. Can you do that for me?”

B nods. “You know I would never embarrass you, if that’s what you mean.” she huffs. “I promise to keep my mouth shut in front of your friends” she says. “Now will you tell me where the hell we’re having lunch?”

Kai grins. “Thanks, Baba. You’re the best.” he squeezes her cheek. “No need to tell you, we’re almost there.” he says, leading her a few more steps forward until they finally reach a gazebo draped with different kinds of flowers, and inside was a round table made of marble with a round bench built in along its walls. And on the bench sat the 4 other members of the student council, their packed lunches spread out across the round table, looking like something out of an anime.

B raised a brow at Kai as they approached the gazebo. “A garden gazebo is your lunch spot? Are you kidding me? What kind of students are you?” Kai just laughs in response. “Do you guys eat lunch here everyday?”

“Why don’t you ask them?” Kai says, before waving a hand in the air and yelling “Hey guys, we’re here!”

4 heads turn towards them then, and they all smile as they see Kai and B approaching.

“Took you guys long enough. Come sit with us.” Taehyun says, motioning them over.

“Where do you wanna sit, Baba?” Kai asks as they enter the gazebo. “Wanna sit next to me?”

“Come on, she’s probably sick of you by now, Hyuka.” Beomgyu scoffs jokingly, while the other boys snicker. “You can sit wherever you want, B.” he says.

B assessed the situation. It was a round table, so there weren’t really any sides to choose from. The one closest to the entrance of the gazebo was Yeonjun, and he seemed to be busy as he kept alternating between using his phone and leaving it on the table. Beomgyu and Taehyun were beside each other, and their food was already half eaten so she could tell that they had already settled in. Next was Soobin, who had his lunch box on the table still unpacked, he had both hands atop the table as if he were waiting for everyone to arrive before getting started on his lunch. Out of the 4 boys seated, B figured it would be safest to sit next to Soobin.

“Alright then, I think I’ll sit next to Mr. President himself.” B says, making her way around the table towards where Soobin was seated. “Do you mind?” she asks with a sweet smile on her face.

He smiles brightly as he says, “Not at all, this spot is all yours.” He pats on the space next to him. She thanks him as she sets her things down and takes a seat.

Kai follows suit and occupies the space next to her. “Good call, Baba. I usually sit next to Soobin anyway. Yeonjun’s always too busy to talk, while Gyu and Taehyun start eating right away.” he says, laying his lunch on the table.

Beomgyu snorts. “It’s only cause you all take your sweet ass time getting here, my stomach waits for no one.”

Taehyun, surprisingly, nods in agreement. “Time is important, and we only have an hour to eat and rest, so I’d like to maximize the free time I have.” he says matter-of-factly. “Unless you’d prefer that we wait for you to get here before we begin?”

It took B a moment before she realized that Taehyun was talking to her, Kai had to nudge her leg under the table before she straightened up, swallowed her food, and gave Taehyun a bright smile. “No, you guys don’t have to worry about me, thanks. Sorry, my mouth was full.” she replied sheepishly.

Taehyun smiled back warmly, and damn it, he did look somehow regal as he did. “Thanks, we’ll keep that in mind. No worries.” he said.

“So how’s your first day at MOA so far, B?” Soobin asks politely as he begins to eat as well.

Just as B swallows her food and opens her mouth to answer Soobin’s question, she stops when the sound of a cellphone ringing loudly pierces through the gazebo.

“Yeonjun, why isn’t your phone on silent mode? Lunch break still counts as school hours, you kno–” Taehyun begins, but he stops when he sees the tense look on Yeonjun’s face. “Oh.” he says quietly. The rest of the boys fall silent too.

Yeonjun purses his lips together and stands up to leave before answering his phone. He steps out of the gazebo as he says “Hello?”

“So…” Beomgyu begins, breaking the silence. “B? How’s your first day so far?”

She plasters on a smile, trying to tune out Yeonjun as he spoke on the phone a few steps away from the gazebo. “So far, so good. I thought my science class would be lonely, but I was able to get along with my seatmates, so it wasn’t too bad.”

“…it’s my first day back, and already you pull shit like this?” B heard Yeonjun say, as much as she tried not to listen.

“Oh right, none of us have 3rd period with you.” Soobin says. “Good to know you got along with some classmates though.”

“…do you seriously think it’s a good idea for me to skip class on my first day back…”

“Seatmates, huh? Who are they? Anyone we know?” Beomgyu asks curiously.

Taehyun comments “I doubt it would be anyone you know since she takes Sophomore Science and you’re a batch higher than her class.”

“…I’m still on probation from last term, so I honestly don’t think this is the best…”

“Oh actually,” B begins, until she feels Kai kick her shin under the table. She does her best to suppress any expression of pain and annoyance as she looks at Kai, who was giving her a warning smile. She smiled at him with the same energy as she continued, “actually, it was just a couple of girls in my grade. They were really nice, very good company, so they actually made third period enjoyable for me.”

“…please, I don’t want to go…”

“Well I bet your next period will be more enjoyable, since you’ll be sharing it with me.” Beomgyu says, wiggling his brows at her, which caused her to laugh and Kai to scoff.

“Please, I bet it’ll be a snore.” Kai says. “It is French class, after all.”

“…I’m at the gazebo.” Yeonjun says as he finishes the call and makes his way back into the gazebo.

“Yes, it’s French class, but French class with me is better than just plain French class, you know what I’m saying?” Beomgyu says, trying to keep the atmosphere light as Yeonjun sits back down.

All the boys look at him with concern, and there’s a moment of silence as they all seem to be waiting for him to speak.

Yeonjun runs his hand through his blue hair, clearly frustrated. “So, apparently, I’m being pulled out of classes this afternoon.” he says. “My dearest father sends his regards.” he adds bitterly.

“Already? But it’s just your first day back.” Soobin says with a hint of concern. “You feeling okay?”

Yeonjun nods. “Yeah, it just sucks I guess.” he sighs. “Sorry you had to see that, by the way.” he apologizes to B. “But as you can see, my dad is a bit of a dick and wants me to skip afternoon classes on my first day back.”

B nods, accepting his apology. “Trust me, I know how shitty parents can be.” she says sympathetically. “I’ve never known any parent who actually wants their child to skip classes, though. Can he do that?” she asks.

The blue-haired boy laughs as he says “Trust me, my father is unlike any parent you know.” he says, as he starts to collect his things. “And trust me, he can do anything.”

“Looks like your chariot awaits.” Kai says, as a black sedan with blacked out windows pulls up close to the gazebo.

Yeonjun sighs as he stands up and slings his bag over his shoulder. “See you later, alligators.” he says, giving the boys a salute.

“Come back soon, crocodile.” the 4 boys respond, giving him salutes back. A man dressed in a black suit steps out of the car and opens the door, waiting for Yeonjun to come inside.

As Yeonjun steps out of the gazebo, he pauses, looks back and says “Later, Baby.” as he flashes a smile her way before continuing on and getting into the car.

There’s silence as everyone watches the car drive away.

“Okay, I hope you guys don’t mind me asking, but I think that warrants some sort of explanation.” B says, breaking the silence. The other boys look at her then, and she could tell by the looks on their faces that they knew she was right, but that they were hesitant to tell her anything. She felt Kai squeeze her hand under the table. She looks at him, and he gives her a small nod, and she takes it as a go signal to ask,

“So, what was that all about?”

[haveyouseenthis]

GO生, Stray Kids | Review PART II

Pt. II

“...’God’s Menu’ was born”

Every second of the song captivated me. Every scene in the M/V was intriguing and sucked me in. I never rewatch M/Vs - ever. I’ve never been one to stream it a million times for the view count to go up. No way. My attention span is waay too short for that

“God’s Menu”, though. 

Wow.

I’ve had to have watched it 40 times since it came out, at least. And the thing is, it’s not my STAY self trying to accumulate views for the boys (although they do deserve it). It’s myself watching it just to watch it. It’s so good. I know exactly what scene is coming, the exact part. I know how the music is about to change and who is going to be center in the next shot, but despite this, it still gives me chills every time.

I think there are a couple reasons for that. One obviously being the song itself, but the other being the phenomenal camerawork. The cameramen and editors have always been the unsung heroes of k-pop and M/Vs in general, but they really outdid themselves this go-around. All the transitions were heavenly. You can tell they didn’t just throw them in there for shock value, but truly thought about where they would have the most impact.

The sets are also amazing. Somehow a transition from kitchen to construction site not only works, but is seamless. All the racetrack scenes also fit in perfectly. 

I started to ask myself why these sets worked so well together. What did a master chef’s kitchen, a construction site, and a racetrack have in common? Anything?

Well, maybe more than you think.

All around the world master chefs retreat into their kitchen to experiment with new recipes and cook up ones never seen before. At construction sites blueprints drawn up by architects are used to build amazing towers are intricate buildings. At the racetracks, old stars and rookies are holding onto their fame or making a name for themselves, fighting for the lead on every lap.

Stray Kids are cooking up their hits in the kitchen, laying the foundation for their success with their hardhats on, and then accelerating past all the competition.

As previously stated, “God’s Menu” is their best song, hands down. But every song on the album brings something to the table. Because of this, GO生 might just be their best release yet… 

My Top Five:

神메뉴 (God’s Menu)

Easy

비행기 (Airplane)

청사진 (Blueprint)

일상 (Another Day/Daily Life)

“God’s Menu” was hard-hitting hip hop in a way I haven’t heard or seen before from SKZ. As I’ve already said, it’s easily the best song they’ve released, including B-sides. Every verse is well crafted, the pre-chorus is catchy and serves as the nice mellow tone the song needed for the vocalists to really shine, and the chorus is a masterpiece of simple onamonapia and tangy flavor (see what I did there~) with strong choreography. The song is shockingly short, especially considering it’s a title track. However, it still feels solid. It’s a full course meal in less than three minutes. That’s so impressive, to me at least. I can’t be the only one who feels like the song is much longer than it is because it’s so immersive.

My favorite parts include Changbin’s “Yes, sir and ma’am / welcome” intro,  the first verse, and the second verse. Changbin’s intro sets the tone immediately. The “sir and ma’am” is almost sassy in context. It’s like he’s truly welcoming us into a restaurant, but there is that eerie undertone of “you don’t know what you’re in for”. I love that Han gets to rap the entire first verse. Not only does it make sense because he is a main rapper, but it sounds better than if it has been split between several people as verse 2 had. There is a clear split about halfway through the first verse where they could have switched to another member, but they stayed with Han, and I think that makes the song so much more powerful, especially since it comes at the beginning. Unlike verse one, verse two splits its lines between five different members. And it works perfectly. I wouldn’t have changed anything at all. Felix’s low voice oozes charisma and is the perfect way to pull listeners deeper into the song after the chorus, and Seungmin and I.N.’s cocky, drawing sound pairs perfectly with that. Chan’s voice and attitude fits wonderfully for his “자물쇠 따 싹 다 unlock / Idea bank 머릿속을 털어 털어” (“All the locks unlock / Idea bank, empty your head, empty it”) part. It’s also a fitting part for him as the main producer of the group. Hyunjin is the perfect person to wrap up the verse. His demanding attitude paired with his visuals as he says “비밀재료가 궁금하다면 / 사실 우린 그딴 거 안 써” (“Wonder what’s our secret ingredient / We don’t use such a thing”) deliver the line in a way no one else in the group could.

And, can we talk about that line for a minute, T? What a statement. It’s on the same flex level as “Daechwita”. “Oh, how are we so good? What’s our secret? How are we cutting corners to get here? We aren’t.”

I also really like that “Go Live,” “God’s Menu,” and “Easy,” feel like a trilogy. It’s a nice way to start the album because it gets the listener immersed immediately.

To have“Easy” follow “God’s Menu” is maybe the best decision made on this tracklist. Still just as proud and cocky as its predecessor, “Easy” talks about how Stray Kid’s don’t just turn the tables or meet expectations, they flip the table over and exceed the expectations - all with ease. 

My favorite part in “Easy” is the bridge, and I’ve found a few different translations of it:

Zaty Farhani’s “Easy” lyric video translates the bridge as “Showing off is all for show, what are you doing getting all scared? / The brave ugly-duckling turns the table / Let’s raise the stakes as you’ve wished / or do it my way”

Color Coded Lyrics’s (CCL) blog translates it as: “What’s the point of being braggy / When you’re just eating up your fear / A loser with courage will turn the tables around / Let’s make it to the next round, as you want / Or I’ll mess around with my own way”

Genius Lyrics translates the part as: “Your words are just bragging / What are you doing while being all coward? / A brave loser has overtook everything / Let's make this game even more big as you wanted / Or just screw it and do it my way”

All of them amount to about the same thing: “You have to show off and brag to prove your worth and rise to the top but we don’t. We know where we came from, and we know what we are, but we will go farther because of this. We’ll take over the world our way,”.

“비행기 (Airplane)” ends the “Go-God’s-Easy” trilogy with it’s lighter hip-hop sound. It’s a love song. The narrator speaks of taking an airplane to a vacation spot with his girlfriend as a metaphor for the two of them traveling to their own world where they can be happy together. What really draws me to this song is its style and sound. The track reminds me a little of “Mixtape : Gone Days”,  with it’s lighter feel. It’s a nice example of a lighthearted love song. I don’t have as much to say about this one, I just really like it. There isn’t any deep meaning in the lyrics for me to dive into (unless you’re into speculating the composer's relationship status. Bang Chan and Changbin wrote “Airplane” in collaboration with others so it’s possible the lyrics came from them or one of the other three composers. Maybe all of them are just good enough at imagining situations to write things like this. We’ll never know.)

“청사진 (Blueprint)” comes in 4th for me, but really 3rd-5th place may as well be equal. The three songs have the same energy to me, especially “Blueprint” and “Airplane”. I like “Blueprint” for its folk-inspired pop sound. It reminds me of AKMU, which I’m sure T digs. It’s not SKZ’s usual sound, but they sing it well and have made it their own. I smile every time it comes on. The lyrics have a wonderful message about overcoming and accomplishing your dreams despite the odds and the people out to get you. Very sweet, and the message reminds me of that of many of their old songs.

“일상 (Another Day/Daily Life)” is the closest thing to a ballad we’ve gotten from the boys.

The beginning count reminds me of NCT 127’s “Boom” and the overall sound reminds me of NCT Dream’s “Puzzle Piece”.

While the first time I listened to it I could easily tell it was a sad and mournful song about something, I wasn’t expecting to tear up while reading the lyrics on my 3rd listen.

It hurts so much. It’s so beautiful. The song tells the story of the narrator (Han wrote it, it’s absolutely about him and his anxiety) as he reflects on himself and his situation, wondering if he’s the only one feeling the way he is, wondering if he is the only one putting on an act every day, and wondering if it’s evening convincing.

But I guess that painfully beautiful tune fits with the message. The notes are so sweet they make you want to cry. And that’s how it feels to go through what the narrator is dealing with. Everything you’re doing looks beautiful. You seem perfect, but if anyone really takes time to listen, they will hear your hurt.

He was a young teenager and was forced to deal with so many pressures (“I’m still so young, but I have so many worries”/”So much worries for such a young child”) during training, and then debut.

After that line, we get to the hard truth of the industry. Of course companies care about their idols, but only to a point. After that, it’s “Just do what you're supposed to be doing well” and “Just do your job properly”. In other words, “Okay, great, you’re going through something. Get over it.”.

CCL translation: “When I pushed my way into this dark room / Did anybody bother to look back at me? / I barely managed to make it through this hard day / How many times did I smile, and were they genuine smiles? // I find the way I’m trapped in my thoughts funny / I’m still so young, but I have so many worries / Just do what you’re supposed to be doing well / Nobody knows anything about how empty my heart feels / And I hate how / All they know how to do is laugh it off”

Genius translation: “The day I forced my way into the dark room / Would at least one person have turned to look at me / Me, who barely lived through another day / How many times have I laughed, but were those sincere? // Myself deep in thought looks funny / So much worries for such a young child / Just do your job properly / Without knowing about my empty heart / Just laughing over it, I don't like that”

I think it’s fitting that the only parts Han gets opens and close the song. It just draws more attention to the fact that it’s his story. He’s opening the door for him and others to talk about their feelings, and once they’ve covered it all, he closes it back up. 

I don’t have too many complaints about this album. A couple, maybe.

One would be that  “TOP”, “SLUMP”, “Mixtape : Gone Days”, and “Mixtape : On Track/바보라도 알아” were released separate from this album, so they stick out from the other 10 tracks. I’m glad they were all grouped together at the end and not sporadically placed between songs like “Easy” and “Pacemaker”. 

“Gone Days” sticks out the most because of its playful hip-hoppy sound that is reminiscent of previous tracks such as “Awkward Silence” and “Get Cool”. I’m not particularly fond of the fact that it is the only one that sounds as it does, but I suppose it is just the same thing they did with “Get Cool” and “Awkward Silence”’s respective mini albums. Both songs were the only ones of their kind on their albums and feel a little out of place. I think I was able to get accustomed to it quicker as being on mini albums there was a smaller tracklist, therefore drastic tone changes between songs weren’t as novel. 

Go Live’s sound alternates (mainly) between two different styles. There are louder, harder hip-hop songs like “God’s Menu” “TA” and “Pacemaker”, and then we have what I’ve dubbed “The Quiet Trilogy” with “Airplane”, “Another Day”, and “Blueprint”. Songs like “Phobia” and “Haven” seen to sit solidly in between the two styles.

But “Gone Days” and “On Track” don’t sound like anything else on this tracklist. “Gone Days” has an over-saturated upbeat take on hip-hop, and “On Track” has a ballad inspired sound (honestly it vaguely reminds me of OSTs for dramas…) to it. This makes the transition from beginning of album to end shocking, and I’m not overly fond of that.

My other issue is that the rest of the track-list simply pales in comparison to its title track. “God’s Menu” was so powerful, so overwhelming for me that it made the rest of the album underwhelming.

Maybe that’s a compliment, actually? At least as far as “God’s” is concerned. I don’t know…

I think I’ll get used to it after a few more listens. (Future Kasin: I did and I love it <3)

One thing is for sure: if they master making every song deliver the same punch as “God’s Menu”, I’ll be done for.

I can’t wait to see what they do next.

Go Live on Spotify

Links PT II:

神메뉴 (God’s Menu) Lyrics (Han/Rom/Eng)

“Easy” lyric video

Color Coded Lyrics Stray Kids Discography

Color Coded Lyrics Stray Kids “Easy”

Genius Lyrics Stray Kids “Easy” English translation

Color Coded Lyrics Stray Kids “비행기 (Airplane)”

Genius Lyrics Stray Kids “비행기 (Airplane)”

Color Coded Lyrics “청사진 (Blueprint)” 

Genius Lyrics “청사진 (Blueprint)”

NCT 127 Boom

NCT Dream Puzzle Piece

Color Coded Lyrics “일상 (Another Day/Daily Life)”

Part I

[theotherboywhonevergrewup]

My Top Songs of 2019

It’s that time of the year again when I take a look back at all the great music that was released throughout the year and choose my top 10.  Quick disclaimer as usual: These are not what I think are the best songs of the year.  They’re not even my favorite songs of the year.  They’re simply the top 10 songs that have defined my year.  (See the end if you’re interested in the rules of the selection of this top 10; also, most of this was written in 2019 but some was written in 2020).

10. “Think About Us” - Little Mix featuring Ty Dolla $ign

“When you're dancin' in the club And the nights are getting hard Do you think about us?”

Everyone knows that I have a weakness for girl groups.  UK’s Little Mix isn’t exactly my favorite, but admire how strongly they’ve stuck together as a group.  Their chemistry is undeniable, both as people and as vocalists.  To me, “Think About Us” was the standout track from last year’s LM5, and the addition of Ty Dolla $ign was the little shove it needed to be great.  The girls shine with their vocal prowess both on their solos and together on the chorus, and Ty$’s verse splits the track nicely.  The accompanying video is mesmerizing.  Each of the girls look absolutely stunning, and they have individual sets representing the different parts of a relationship, with Perrie as the butterflies-in-my-stomach beginning and Jade as the icy, cold end.  The lyrics are quite vague, but I think that’s the intention.  It’s applicable to any stage of a relationship; it could be a love song or a break-up song.  With it’s fun beat, it’s hard to pick if you want to dance to it, belt it out, or try to do both, but it’s definitely been an infectious part of 2019!

9. “Lonely for You” - Armin van Buuren featuring Bonnie McKee

“No, you're never gonna see me cry I already got a brand new life Don't you know I'm moving on And everyday I'm stronger? I don't even know you're gone”

The Netherlands’ Armin van Buuren has a recipe to get trance music to pull at your heart, and one piece that makes this apparent is “Lonely for You.”  With the assist from US’s pop hit writer Bonnie McKee, this track is different yet familiar, a haunting disconnect to match the mixed feelings of the lyrics.  From light synths to disco-esque drums to pure piano, Van Buuren’s track pushes and pulls the same way the tumultuous narrator’s lyrics go back and forth, with McKee’s vocals surfing on the top.  The music video has a couple choreography emphasizing the push-and-pull theme, and McKee looks fantastic as usual.  Van Buuren’s Balance is full of more emotionally-rich tracks for both happy and sad times, many of which utilize beautiful piano to highlight amazing vocals.  “Lonely for You” is an altogether addictive track that was perfect for all the lonely nights of 2019.

8. “Antidote” - Mr Hudson

“You of all people After all we've been through Started out an angel And now you get away with murder”

As a huge fan of the UK’s Mr Hudson, I waited basically a decade for his sophomore album, and it did not disappoint.  While When the Machine Stops features several tearjerking songs, “Antidote” is on the next level.  The song takes the subject of betrayal and perfectly captures how trust can die.  The genius is in its simplicity.  Not a single instrument starts until the entire first verse is complete, letting the lyrics speak for themselves.  Even when the instruments do come in, it’s just soft percussion and synths.  As much as I love vocal runs and ad-libs galore, the straightforward melody had me humming this song for much of 2019.

7. “Me & You” - EXID

“Oh 야야야 더 이상 우리라는 말 하지 마마마 안 봐도 뻔하잖아 야임 마마마 지금 날 어디서 속이려 들어 그건 네 엄마마마 한테나 가서해 baby I don't care”

As I mentioned in last year’s post, 2018 was the year I fell in love with K-Pop, mostly due to Blackpink at the time.  As much as I love Blackpink (and got to see them live this year!), their limited discography didn’t leave much to be loved.  Enter EXID.  This group is stacked: arguably South Korea’s best female rapper in the game LE, one of the best vocalists Solji, and the girl who is absolutely beautiful, sexy, cute, and smart all at the same time Hani (who may or may not be my ultimate bias, sorry Rosé).  Their previous single “I Love You” missed my 2018 list because it was released so late in the year, but it turned out to be my most played song on Spotify this year.  In fact, several of their songs were on that list.  Like many of their previous singles, “Me & You” is an infectious dance track utilizing each member where they excel: Hani with her soft, sultry vocals, a splash of LE’s sick flows to split up the song, Hyelin’s powerhouse vocals to bring up the first chorus, Solji’s even more powerful vocals to take the song to its climax, and Jeonghwa on the dance break (low key kinda sounds like she’s singing “Baby Shark” but that’s a jam too I guess).  The duality of the track is what makes it stand out, with the pretty vocals and simple verses largely contrasting from the deep and dirtier synths of the dance break.  The video plays with this duality by featuring EXID as brides in white versus clubbing in neon.  The rest of the WE mini album isn’t quite as dance-y but is fun to vibe to nonetheless.  The group unfortunately may be over, since Hani and Jeonghwa are leaving their record label, but they’re at least sticking together for their activities in Japan for now.  So many more K-Pop hits were released this year, some of my favorites being Mamamoo’s “Gogobebe,” SEVENTEEN’s “HIT,” Super Junior D&E’s “Danger,” Park Bom’s “Spring,” KARD’s “Dumb Litty,” NCT 127′s “Highway to Heaven”, NCT Dream’s “Boom”, Ong Seongwu’s “Heart Sign,” and another release to be mentioned later on this list.

6. “Heartbreak” - Hunter Hayes

“Another, ‘Almost perfect’ Didn't work, but totally worth it Better to have loved and lost my mind Than lose the nerve to even try”

I remember watching the 2013 Grammy’s and watching Hunter Hayes lose all three of his nominations, at that point becoming the “Leonardo DiCaprio never wins an Oscar” meme to me and my friends.  He went on to lose two more nominations, but honestly, I always liked his music (and Grammy nominations are no small feat in the first place!).  While 2017 was technically the year I had my first date and 2018 was the year I had my first girlfriend, 2019 was the year that I really put myself out there and dated the most.  And yes, there was a lot of awkwardness and stupidity and mostly me messing up, but that’s just a part of life.  And “Heartbreak” perfectly captures all those feelings.  From the guitar to the bit of twang to the drums, this song is unabashedly fun country, and the optimistic lyrics always made me feel better.  It’s like a c’est la vie Rascal Flatts’ “Bless the Broken Road” before he found the girl. The accompanying video is also fun with a groundhog day theme as he tries to win over a girl.  The album as a whole is a fun listen, with “Dear God” being the other Wild Blue (Part I) standout to me.  Here’s hoping Part II comes out with some vibes in 2020!

5. “Tempo” - Lizzo featuring Missy Elliott

“He look like he could gain a little weight Lick the icing off, put the rest in your face”

Lizzo exploded this year, and I’m not mad about it.  She has confidence and charisma galore, and her resulting music is mad bouncy, earning her several Grammy nominations for next year, including Best New Artist.  Her songs like most of Cuz I Love You can be quite loud and in-your-face, which is fine, just not exactly my style.  However, get her on this more subdued R&B beat and throw in a Missy Elliott feature, I’m in.  This will make any upbeat R&B lover dance, and the music video is the kind of hot and fun you would expect (with a cowboy hat you may not expect).  Missy also made an imprint this year with Iconology which is her first group release since 2005′s The Cookbook.  I’ve always been a fan of her work, and this is a perfect feature for her.

4. “NONE of this has been about you” - Spencer Sutherland

“I'm afraid that you would hate me if you knew, That I've become insensitive, It's true, But even if you do”

Spencer Sutherland’s “NONE of this has been about you” off his debut EP of the same name has a lot of elements about it that I would personally want in a song of my own.  It starts off with a very simple piano and vocals with a tinge of soul.  As he continues to sing, he puts more soul and emotion into his voice, and splashes of harmonies start to come in.  A couple short riffs later and just a second before the drop.  Although, it’s not a dance drop.  A choir drops in for the chorus with some drums to announce that, in fact, none of this has been about you.  The song eventually escalates to Sutherland’s soaring ad-libs over the choir.  Beyond the musical stylings, I enjoy the message of this song.  Sure, the narrator is telling someone, possibly his lover, that his struggles are personal and not something she or he should worry about, but I also like to take it as a reminder not to always worry about others or what they are thinking.  For example, 2019 was the first full year I had an ex, and a lot of that time, I was worried about posting on social media because maybe she’ll think this or that is about her.  Honestly, I don’t recall ever “subtweeting” about her.  We’re good.  Any breakup song or black and white photo I post has nothing to do with her.  So this song is a nice reminder to keep it pushing and stay in your own lanes.  The remaining songs on Sutherland’s EP were all also on repeat throughout the year.  The man’s just got a solid voice, and I’m glad he’s continuing a soulful pop sound that is rarer than before.

3. “Beautiful goodbye” - Chen

“다시 시간을 되돌려 처음 만난다면 가로등 옆에 서 있지 말아요 미소 짓지도 왼손으로 머릴 넘기지 마요 그래야 내가 그대를 지나칠 테니까”

Now, when it comes to a piano and vocals, nothing dominated my year more than Chen, especially his debut solo single “Beautiful goodbye.”  I won’t repeat all the reasons why I love his voice so much (see last year’s post), but long story short, he’s my favorite male vocalist right now.  Don’t get me wrong, I love EXO and the energy they bring to their songs, but a full EP of just Chen really lets the listener feel his artistry, pulling on heartstrings every which way.  In this song, the narrator is recognizing that his relationship is dead but proposing that they can hold onto it just for a bit longer until they peacefully part in spring.  There’s a respect to their relationship and what it has done for them that they can take with them as separate people before they part ways.  Chen’s voice takes the listener on an adventure, starting soft and simple then escalating and crescendoing to unveil the hardened pain in his voice.  It’s not a sudden angry breakup, it’s more subtle and more somber.  In the end, his soft vibrato and the final notes of the piano leave the listener in just as an uncertain position as the narrator; is it better to hope it stays winter forever or hope for spring to come?  While I also wanted some upbeat songs from Chen, his April, and a flower EP followed by Dear my dear is chockfull of beautiful and emotional ballads.

2. “Never-ending Summer” - Cyn

“What if we don't ever have to say goodbye? I wanna keep living like we'll never die If you're mad then I'm mad too You're crying, I'm sad too I'll watch your back for you, watch mine”

Newcomer Cyn’s “Never-ending Summer” is, to me, an experience.  It took me a while to appreciate its simplicity, but then it became so addictive that it itself became never-ending.  The guitar or synth (or whatever that instrument is) plays on loop to emphasize the never-ending nature of the song and gives a dreamy vibe that’s somehow both modern and reminiscent of the 70s.  Cyn’s simple vocals evoke a carefree feeling reminiscent of running on the beach and all the accompanying imagery with her photoshoot and lyric video.  It makes sense that Cyn is part of Katy Perry’s record label Unsub Records, as this song feels somewhat like Perry’s hits off of Teenage Dream including “California Gurls” and the title track, albeit much more in Cyn’s own understated style.  This summer, I learned how to surf and have fallen deeper in love with the beach (even though a stingray stung me my last time there), and this song would keep the surfing mentality continuing throughout the year, even when it gets too cold for it to be summer (or, even if my foot is bleeding to death).  Doesn’t hurt that Cyn is unbelievably cute too.

1. “Lovebird” - Far East Movement featuring Lay

“I can sleep here alone, but you know it's better with you You could be by yourself, but you know it's better with two”

As I grow as a person and become more proud of who I am, I think it makes sense for me to become more proud of my Asian heritage as well as support Asians and Asian-Americans out there, especially in the music industry as music means a great deal to me.  That said, it’s important to me that I don’t support people just because they’re Asian as if it’s some kind of nepotism.  That kind of segregating mentality can also be unhealthy.  Far East Movement are technically a one hit wonder; they have yet to outdo their 2010 hit “Like a G6.”  However, this year I found out about their record label Transparent Music that has been around since 2016 with a goal of unifying eastern and western music.  Their previous album aptly named Identity features a ton of artists from both sides of the word, from Hyolyn and Loco to Macy Gray and Soulja Boy (shoutout to my favorite song on that album, “Freal Luv” featuring Tinashe and yet another EXO member, Chanyeol).  To me, music is about unification.  It is about bringing a deeper understanding through melody and rhythm.  Those are the simplest terms I can put it.  I hope this is evident through this list that I appreciate people and music from all kinds of backgrounds.  Even if my tastes lean one way or another from year to year, I hope my lists maintain diversity and well-roundedness.  Somehow, Far East Movement has managed to capture this sense of unification in “Lovebird,” featuring Chen’s EXO bandmate from China, Lay.  It’s not the most complex song; in fact, like many songs on this list, it’s quite simple.  The synth bends in a carefree way that celebrates togetherness along with the lyrics, and I find that beautiful.  2019 was a year of growth and life, and “Lovebird” was the perfect song to accompany it.

*To qualify for this list, the song must have been released this year.  An artist can only have one song on this list, excluding features.

[regularbeans]

Best Artists of 2019

Hello and welcome to me forgetting how I do these things.

So as you may have noticed I got into kpop last year and then I continued getting into kpop this year. This year I got to know a lot of other artists in kpop and mostly spent my time listening to one specific artist (you will never guess whom) so this list is... just that ok. Also this category used to be called best newbies and only included artists I got to know in a specific year then I changed it to include any artist I listened to a lot but with a few exceptions all the music I listened to this year were new discoveries for me so...

Idk why I always overexplain these, huh.

Honourable mentions go to Monsta X, Nu’est, Chungha, Sunmi, Stray Kids, Bolbbalgan4, The Boyz, and returning artists Mamamoo ♥♥

7 - NCT (the whole of it but mostly 127)

As a baby kpoppie NCT always seemed so intimidating to me with its many many members but the few songs I liked from them upon first listen eventually lured me into getting to know them. Now I’m no expert but to me NCT is a little frustrating because I feel like the label could do so much more with them (and by more I don’t mean to make certain members work even more). I have to admit I often don’t feel like a proper fan because I don’t follow them very closely but to me their music is always the best part of the package and I care very little for their vlogs and... whatever else they’re doing, honestly.

But as a group I feel like they really could do anything as they’ve already explored so many styles and concepts there really isn’t anything that doesn’t sound like them. My personal favourites are Superhuman, Touch, and Boss but this year NCT Dream made a really good comeback I was 100% on board with with Boom, and Wayv’s debut Take Off was also 👌👌👌👌👌👌

6 - Oneus

I didn’t know a whole lot about anything when these guys debuted and I didn’t even know Valkyrie was their debut song for a long time. It was nice and I didn’t really keep them in mind any longer until they were on Weekly Idol with the other group I’ll talk about in a bit and then I mean, I just had to adopt them, I think we all did at that point. It was also around the time they had their first comeback and it was 👌👌👌👌👌👌 but they still only lived in my tiny brain as a group I’ll eventually get into. And then they released 가자 and I did!

They have two amazing rappers and a fairly versatile vocal line and a style that allows for both dynamic bangers and less radio friendly albeit still addictive tunes that defines their sound even further. I don’t know a lot about how they well-promoted they are, I know they have a shitton of schedules so I hope RWB calms the fuck down eventually and paces themselves because these boys are really promising.

I guess checking their title tracks, Valkyrie, Twilight, and *cringe* Lit should have to suffice but also Bingbing and Blue Sky.

5 - Tomorrow x Together

I never said I didn’t like them so stop staring at me.

Obviously their debut was exciting and interesting and I was really looking forward to seeing what they would be like. It wasn’t 100% my cuppa though Crown was an amazing song, I was still happy for them and excited to see how they would evolve overtime. I kinda fell off the bandwagon around May and June cause they weren’t really putting out content based around music and I’m not super interested in variety shows and reality shows unless I’m really invested in the members, but their first comeback was also 👌👌👌👌👌👌👌 The songs are really poppy and catchy and cover a variety of themes I think most people interested in getting emotional value out of music can relate to and Yeonjun and Soobin are just, simply put, my boys.

If I could have one comment on what I’d like to see change in the future it’d be the endless masking and layering of the vocals. I can just about tell their voices apart in certain songs but then they pump ‘em full of effects in other songs and I’m jus like whomstdve the fuck am I listening to?

Check out Crown and Run Away, their two title tracks so far and also my personal favourite, Magic Island and maybe Can't We Just Leave the Monster Alive? too and this one as well whatever.

4 - Taemin / Shinee

I’ll put these two together because yOU CAN’T SEPARATE THEM OKAY I mean it is true that Taemin’s solo material is vastly, vastly different from Shinee’s music but uh this is how I decided.

Shinee is very fun, very diverse, they have the most heart-wrenching songs and then the most upbeat melodies that kickstart the serotonin-production in my brain just like that. I mean they are just vocal powerhouses and they’re using it, but in the same time they have like, these low(er)-energy bops that are just so pleasant to listen to.

Shinee’s weird cause I have a Shinee playlist where I put all the songs I liked from them and I think I don’t know the title of a good half of them but I don’t think I’ve ever pressed the skip button while playing that playlist.

And then Taemin is just very different on his own. Vocally he’s way more strong than Shinee’s music would have you believe, and though he has a sexy concept going on most of the time he’s also not way over the top with it which is... weird to say because he’s very theatrical sometimes. But especially if you compare his most recent material to his solo debut stuff he just looks and sounds way more relaxed in what he’s doing (it’s almost as though he’s matured a little over the years. but only a little). Things you love to see: that.

From Shinee: Symptoms, Countless, The Reason, Drive, Don’t Let Me Go, 1 of 1 From Taemin: Stone Heart, Want, Move, Under My Skin

3 - Day6

I want you to picture this: me, crying.

I had heard about Day6 from one of my two kpop mutuals on twitter lmao but I always heard Days Gone By mentioned as the best song ever and when I checked it out I didn’t think it to be very special at the time. It was only because I thought Time of Our Life was ok and cute and Shoot Me was very catchy that I made a playlist with all their songs on it and listened to it one time when I had to walk a mile to the train station at five in the morning. And then I heard 121U and Headache and that was it.

I don’t think I say anything outlandish if I say Day6 could be from any other part of the world if you take a look at their sound. They’re very easy-listening pop rock, they’re the kind of melodic rock music I loved when I was in high school. So what makes them special?

That I love them, that’s what >[ I don’t think they have anything more than any other group in their genre but I think they just have everything to steal my friKKEN HEART. First of all I don’t know what kind of demon deal JYP made to get a hold of four vocalists like this, I mean they’re all different but instantly recognisable and their range is just ????????? I think Jae is considered the weakest vocalist (outside of Dowoon but I mean he’s drums) and even the notes that boy belts out are blowing my mind. He has a very natural, almost untrained-sounding tone, Sungjin’s very raspy and emotional, Young K’s voice is very open and full (I think he actually has the biggest range? I could be wrong), and Wonpil has that boyish, charming, kinda slippery but still stable voice that first grabs your attention.

And of course a lot of the writing credit goes to the group’s very own Young K which makes me feel a lot closer to them when I’m listening to their songs. So good job, guys, on everything.

Truly, though, getting to know Day6 has just been so special this year and it just goes to show how even mainstream pop music in korea can be so diverse and anyone could find something they like at any corner.

Holy fuckbucket, what should I even recommend? I guess listen to Shoot Me, 121U, Headache, then also my first favourite song, Somehow, my current favourite song Beautiful Feeling and my current second favourite song I Need Somebody and also their most recent comeback Sweet Chaos and my recent new discoveries Lean On Me, Goodbye Winter, I Would and but also just check out my Spotify playlist for them I literally love every single song on there. Fuck, Like That Sun, Letting Go, Sing Me, Rescue Me, 365247 i’M DYING HERE, SUNGJIN

BITCH, LIKE A FLOWING WIND

2 - Seventeen

hOkkkaAyy

For the longest time, well, for about five months I guess, I thought these guys would be first place on this list forever. They were the ones who broke the big BTS spell I was under for the second half of 2018 and I really just, fell facefirst into the diamond life. Getting Closer didn’t quite get me in the first round and even Home was a bit like, okay, cute, best of luck for them. Then something happened and both Getting Closer and Home just hit me like a fucking truck even though they’re on two opposite sides of the scale. You know. The song scale. The famous one? That one.

I made a tweet once that I still agree with, that loving Seventeen really is just cutting your own heart up into thirteen even-sized bits and every single bit is filled with so, so much love.

Like many/some(?) of the groups I love, Seventeen is self-composed and for that I am so grateful because their label Pledis is a shithole so thank fuck to Mr. Lee Jihoon for carrying the industry on his back.

The group consists of three units, all of which have their distinct strengths (except for the performance unit, those theatre nerds just had to be good at everything, didn’t they) and Seventeen makes time to explore all of those units, sometimes even making other subunits from different boy configurations (or boyfigurations for short) and somehow it manages to feel balanced and patient and not rushed.

And I especially love how admittedly they started to stop caring about what the public expects from them and they’re exploring concepts that excites them personally. They caught a lot of flak for releasing songs like Hit and Fear after the astounding success Home had back in January and a lot of fans and non-fans alike quoted the groups unwillingness to keep doing what has been proven to work as the reason of their diminishing sales and public interest.

And even though I personally enjoy their brighter concepts also, I just, I can respect that attitude, you know? At the end of the day Seventeen has an obvious and visible love for their own craft and there’s nothing more enjoyable than that.

Now I’m really in trouble as to what to recommend, they have so many different types of songs x”) Okay, Our Dawn is Hotter Than Day, Clap, Adore U, Home, Getting Closer. Also Hit. And like, a billion of their b-sides, just check my spotify playlist for them ok.

1 - Ateez

*feeling of fear*

Do I even have to go into why I love Ateez? Every time I think about them and just how big a part they played in my life this year I get this overwhelming urge to express just why and just how much I love them.

This year I really just... lost the ability to be happy about things that used to give so much happiness. It’s been a sad and scary downward spiral that I just don’t have enough strength to stop so I guess it’s no wonder that I’d latch onto the first thing that becomes an everyday positive presence in my life. Ateez and the memories connected to them this year have been the reason for the few and far between moments of happiness in my life in 2019 and for that I’ll forever be grateful.

It’s like. When it hits, it just hits, you know?

And I just can’t, can’t wait to scream my little heart out to their songs in March with Linn okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

I guess if I could just have one wish it’d be for them to play Twilight, and Treasure, Illusion, Say My Name, Utopia, Hala Hala, Win, Mist, Wave, my whole Spotify playlist.

[worldwalkernovel]

The dynamic duo: What is their favorite book/poem/song of earth? Of Alleirat? Can they sing? What are some instruments of Alleirat? What are they made of? How are they made? Are they widely available? Of earth's instruments, what is their sound similar to? Are there major festivals/holidays? Any strange ones (like the city in Spain that has an annual tomato fight)? What are Alleirai beds like (raised on four legs/futons/hammocks)? Are there sleeping bags or does everyone just suffer on the road?

Hey, y’all, sorry I just...fucking vanished there!  Real life obligations caught up with me.  Ironically this is a long term positive--I’m much more productive in writing when I have a job, because it leaves me less time to second guess myself.  Point is, I’m going to try and actually Do Things on this blog again.  Also the last one about holidays got pretty long so I put it under a cut.

What is their favorite book/poem/song of Earth?  Of Alleirat?

Oh my God, listen, I’m not gonna get to most of this question because I got overexcited, but let’s talk about these two and Earth poetry, yeah?

Crispin discovers Emily Dickinson in seventh grade English class, and the first poem of hers he ever reads is, of course, Because I could not stop for Death.  He traces his fingers over the words “Since then – ‘tis Centuries – and yet//Feels shorter than the Day//I first surmised the Horses’ Heads//Were toward Eternity –” and for some reason he can’t quite put his finger on, his throat closes up tight and his voice breaks when he’s asked to read aloud.  Some indiscernable something about her words ring in his head like English hasn’t rung in years, and he checks a collection out of the library the same day.  His favorite poem of hers is--it’s not really his favorite, but the poem of hers he knows by heart and can’t seem to peel out of the beat of his pulse is I measure every Grief I meet.  Some days he loves it, for how cleanly and purely it seems to scribe him into neat four-line stanzas.  Some days he can’t read it without crying, or throwing the book across the room.

The only Dickinson poem Brenneth likes is Tell all the Truth, and sometimes when she looks at Crispin she thinks it was written for him.

Brenneth doesn’t like poetry much, she mostly prefers songs--they’re easier to remember and she knows what to do with them, she doesn’t really know what to do with poetry (can’t sing it, doesn’t have a narrative, can’t even go see it performed) and she doesn’t like not knowing what to do with a thing.  But once she read Goblin Market, by Christina Rossetti.  She started it by accident, and there was a story, a narrative threading through the ramble, and she kept reading, and--

Brenneth has dreams for a week, dizzy uneasy dreams of Crispin biting into strange foreign fruits and letting juice as thick and red as blood stain his mouth, and of hands--his hands, strong and crackling with lightning--pressing the fruit against her mouth and saying eat, eat, and of a mouth on her jaw and neck and collarbones, drinking the juice from her skin.

What are Alleirai beds/travel beds like?

The basic structure of Alleirai beds is “four legs, some kind of pad, sheets/blanket, maybe a pillow” but there’s a lot of scope there and it’s not unheard of for people to have a different arrangement based on what they’re used to--sailors are used to hammock-style bunks on ships, travelers used to sleeping rough are most familiar with bedrolls that consist of little more than two blankets and possibly a very thin pad.  At the end of the day, though, since a large portion of the continent is arable, elevated beds have the practical advantage of being easier to keep relatively clean of dirt, water, and creepy crawlies.  As such, a cot-style arrangement is considered the bare minimum, with a base of taut cloth and no mattress at all. The rich might have a four-poster bed with a down mattress.  Most people are somewhere in the middle with plain frames and horsehair or straw ticks that get exchanged on a semi-regular basis.

Can they sing?

Yes!  Brenneth has a nice folksy low alto, it’s nothing special but she used to sing shanties and ballads while she worked in her forge, especially while she was hammering or doing anything else that required a rhythm.  Sometimes she gave people a discount on their work if they were willing to teach her a new song instead, and people made jokes about the singing smith.  Crispin has a beautiful mid-range tenor, sweet and clear as glass when he was a child and deepening to something warm and full as he got older.  He has formal voice training, which was part of his education--singing is a good way to learn to project your voice, which is a desirable trait in a hero of legend.  However, he hates to sing alone, which is where all his training lies, so he taught himself to sing harmony to Brenneth’s melodies and that’s the only way he sings anymore.

What are some instruments of Alleirat/what are they like?

They hit a lot of the same major categories as we do--they have necked and non-necked string instruments (things like guitars or fiddles and lyres or harps, respectively), drums and other percussion instruments, wind instruments.  They lack the finesse to make out modern instruments, and most wind instruments are made of wood rather than metals, whereas they have a lot more metal drums than hide-and-wood drums, so playing the drum in Alleirat is equally about knowing how to stop a sound as start it.  You know that dome-shaped hang drum thing?  Something similar to that with only a few tones (like four total) is pretty common on ships and is used to keep time for sea shanties, and more complex versions are popular during festivals, in combination with strings and singing.  Vocalists are prized in Alleirat, so wind instruments are less common than things that allow singing and playing simultaneously.

Are there major holidays/festivals?  Any weird ones?

I’d have sworn on my life I answered this already, but apparently not.  The Alleirai seasons each have a festival at the height and one at the end of the year, four religious festivals and one political.  The political festival is Unification Day, the commemoration of the unification of the continent of Alleirat and the formal truce of the lengthy wars that threatened to kill everyone on it, and takes place in the early days of summer.�� How seriously and/or cheerfully people take Unification Day depends on how they’re feeling about the Unified Council at that moment, and whether or not their protectorate state is on the verge of civil war with a neighbor.  

The religious festivals are:

the Feast of the Wanderer, which takes place at midsummer and is a festival of plenty and warmth and alcohol--the Wanderer is the god of life and fire, and the festival is encouraged to embrace and embody joy and revelry.  There are also ritual fights, which are largely in fun and more like friendly bar brawls than formalized gladiator matches, and both participants are usually quite drunk.  Agreeing to be the on-call flesh workers standing ringside on the Feast makes you an obscene amount of money, but you have to be sober.  Gifts are also exchanged at this festival--material gifts, specifically.

the Lady’s Night, or the Night of Stars, which takes place at midwinter and is very much a festival of...keeping out the dark, I suppose, would be the way I’ll put it.  The festival is about remembering that We Are Alive And Life Is Short, as well as remembering the dead, with a lot of candles lit in memorial and just for light--traditionally, you stay up from dusk until dawn, and if your candles and fire go out, you’ll have bad luck all year.  There’s still drinking and feasting and general celebration, but it’s more intimate and less raucous than the Feast.  You exchange stories and sing and hold your breath whenever the flames flicker.  (Cheating with magical glowglasses is considered bad luck as well.)  There are people who learn a single story or song all year in preparation for the Night of Stars, and you display them as a gift for the people you’re celebrating with.

the Landing, the first day of the new year at mid-spring, which marks the day that tradition and lore say the gods first came to Alleirat.  It’s probably not the right day, sort of like Christmas was moved around a bunch, but no one but the very well educated or very pedantic care.  You leave offerings at the temples or shrines at dawn, and then you go out and celebrate.  All day if you can, more often just from “whenever you get off work” to “whenever you collapse.”  The large cities and sometimes smaller towns and villages hold a parade, and crown young people, a boy and a girl in their mid to late teens or early twenties, as the Lady and the Wanderer for the day.  The crowns assigned to each of the two (generally flower crowns, rather than anything valuable) is supposed to be handed around over the course of the day, as a sort of village-wide game of Tag with the crowned people as “it”, and whoever holds the crowns at sundown has the responsibility of leading the town in the service of the Landing, which is a whole thing.  It’s sort of like religious hot potato with drinking.

the Eve of Dead Gods, which is pretty much what it says on the tin.  In terms of the feel of the Eve, it’s sort of somewhere between old celebrations of Halloween and Yom Kippur, with an emphasis on considering your own actions of the past year and serious reflection, as well as a  day when...well, they’re pretty serious about the dead gods.  Gods can’t be ghosts, of course, don’t be foolish, but--but when you worship the last two of a mighty pantheon, it doesn’t hurt to do honor to those who went before.  On the Eve, you lock your doors and windows at dusk and don’t go outside again until the sun is shining, and you remember that everything dies.  Even gods.

Some people--those whose ancestors escaped the sinking of the western continent--hold a quiet holiday for the Chained Lord, the god who didn’t answer when they called for salvation and whose death throes killed thousands.  It’s a small thing of fasting and candles and salt scattered on the floor, observed by most as little more than a cursory tradition and not even a shadow of a shadow of what his festivals must have once been.

[rkwon]

✦*⋆ RKPLAYLIST: JEON WONWOO !   — ORIGINAL MOTION PICTURE SOUNDTRACK

PART ONE — HARD TIMES !   * AKA CHILDHOOD !

HARD TIMES ♡ PARAMORE ! ( hard times; gonna make you wonder why you even try. hard times; gonna take you down and laugh when you cry. these lives; and I still don't know how I even survive. hard times, hard times. ) TW ABUSE // it only takes one glance at won to know that he doesn’t have a lot. it takes a slightly closer look to notice the bruising barely covered by the rags he often wears as clothes, the scar above his right eye, the flinch of his body whenever someone comes at him too fast— life, 'family’, haven’t been too good to won over the years. the only difference? won knows how he survived — because of who. 

LUKA ♡ SUZANNE VEGA ! ( TW ABUSE // yes, I think I'm okay. I walked into the door again. well, if you ask that's what I'll say, and it's not your business anyway. I guess I'd like to be alone, with nothing broken, nothing thrown. just don't ask me how I am. ) TW ABUSE, NEGLECT // he can’t remember when the abuse from his brothers started — since forever, he’d say if asked (and comfortable enough to admit it). his parents, the same, in a way he doesn’t realise until later. feeding him scraps, leftovers instead of meals, giving him a few thousand won for his birthday and throwing seungwoo a party, locking him in his room when they don’t want to deal with him. even now, he makes excuses to hide the truth of it, lying easy after years of practice, because he doesn’t know how to help himself. 

EMBARRASSMENT ♡ MADNESS ! ( how can you show your face, when you're a disgrace to the human race? ) TW ABUSE, HOMOPHOBIA // the words he’s reminded of every opportunity. if it’s not his parents recalling how much it costs to keep him fed and housed at their home, how he should be grateful, it’s any and everyone explaining the shame he brings to the family — that he’s a disgrace, disgusting because of who he loves. 

LISTEN TO THIS SONG ♡ ROY KIM ! ( hey you, sitting over there. hey you, with your head down low. when it feels like the world will crash down, listen to this song. ) when he had nothing else that could offload the stress, the pain, he learnt to dance. he sang and moved until his legs gave out and he felt better, if only for long enough to keep going.  

MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL PERSON ♡ BOWLING FOR SOUP ! ( and you don't feel so lucky, but I've seen so many things in you. believe me, I know just what you're going through. so stand up and take a bow, hold your head high. don't ever let them get you down. ) it took a long time for won to realise that said treatment he got from his family and fellow students is not what he deserves. he was easily convinced that he was the scum of the earth — how could he not have been with so many people telling him so? but his time would come, and it did. now he knows he’s, at best, the scum of his neighbourhood. that much, he can live with. 

PART TWO — BRIGHTER !   * AKA PRESENT !

BRIGHTER ♡ PATENT PENDING ! ( maybe I'm crazy, yeah, a little naive, but the light at the end is brighter than it used to be. got a long way to go, but I know, I believe that the light at the end is brighter than it used to be. ) with mingyu and his family’s help, won has slowly grown to realise that he not only deserves better, but can be better — that the sun is still shining on endless possibilities for him if he works hard enough. judgement and limited resources might stop him from doing a lot of things, but it won’t stop him from trying. 

LAST HOPE ♡ PARAMORE ! ( and the salt in my wounds isn't burning anymore than it used to. it's not that I don't feel the pain, it's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore. ) TW HOMOPHOBIA // truthfully, after a few years, with a thicker skin in his later teens, hearing the same slurs and insults day in, day out, gets old. the hatred in their eyes still hits him just as hard, but he won’t hide anymore. he’s proud to be who he is, no matter what. he’s not afraid to be himself anymore. not for the most part, anyway.

WHO YOU ARE ♡ JESSIE J ! ( it's okay not to be okay. sometimes it's hard to follow your heart, but tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising; there's nothing wrong with who you are. ) another thing he’s come to realise with age is that it’s okay to admit things aren’t right; that talking about the hardships he’s been through and accepting the support mingyu and his family give him doesn’t make him any less strong — stronger, really. he’s still learning to allow them in — of course, it’s a long road — but he’s making significant progress. 

THIS WILL BE THE DAY ♡ JEFF WILLIAMS & CASEY LEE WILLIAMS ! ( they see you as small and helpless, they see you as just a child. surprise when they find out that a warrior will soon run wild. ) he has no fantastical ideas of revenge towards his biological family, but he doesn’t intend to let them feel as if the suffering they’ve caused him over the years has left any imprint on him. he is instead passionate about making something of himself, living healthily and normally — his own victory; he won’t let them control him forever.

SUPERHEROES ♡ THE SCRIPT ! ( all his life he's been told he'll be nothing when he's old. all the kicks and all the blows, he won't ever let it show 'cause he's stronger than you know; a heart of steel starts to grow. ) he’s growing still. he’s growing into a strong, passionate young man, and he’ll prove to everyone that he can survive, thrive, even if all the odds are against him. he will. 

BONUS TRACKS — BE THE LIGHT !   * AKA INSPIRATION !

BE THE LIGHT ♡ ONE OK ROCK ! ( some days just pass by and some days are unforgettable. we can’t choose the reason why, but we can choose what to do from the day after. so with that hope, with that determination, let’s make tomorrow a brighter and better day. ) written in honour of the survivors of the tohoku earthquake in japan two years on, ‘be the light’ aims to bring hope and strength to anyone around the world suffering. messages like these, that give those who are struggling the courage to keep pushing on, that help heal and unite people, are what won wants to convey in many of his own songs. it’s a topic, though not specific to natural disasters, that hits close to home for him, and he wants to help as many people as possible to remember that they are never alone — that there is always hope.

THE WHISKEY, THE LIAR, THE THIEF ♡ PATENT PENDING ! ( she bats her eyes and lies about her ring, he used the coin he stole to buy the drinks. never thought they'd find love drowning sorrows at the pub, the whiskey, the Liar, the thief! ) that being said, won also wants to write more light-hearted songs, too. he wants to write lyrics that you can sing along to as you drive down the street with the windows wide open. in regards to this track, won wants to write lyrics that tell stories. having always loved to read so he could lose himself in another world, won wants to paint a picture with the words he’s writing, have listeners fall in love with the characters introduced to them in only four or five minutes. and well, why not make it a little different? pirates, thieves, liars, villains... the bad guys have stories to tell, too. 

MIROTIC ♡ DBSK ! ( I got you under my skin. ) won is, after all, a dancer any day over a vocalist, and the cherry on the cake would be to be part of a performance as a whole that becomes even slightly as iconic as this. it doesn’t have to be anything overly complicated, or as topless preferably, but nothing sounds as rewarding and fulfilling as being the original of a song future rookies will cover as a tradition and a honour. ( BONUS FOOTAGE ! )