#also APPARENTLY this album was released on my first birthday?? So weird

[forgetful-river]

Have you guys heard about this band? Turns out Tara didn't just invent it for My Immortal, weird!

[fallingsunflower]

Harry's Relationships:

Caroline Flack (2011): I don't want to say too much about this one since Caroline's passed, but I think this was a case of 17 year old Harry liking an older woman who eventually pursued him. Although technically legal, something about it just felt really wrong. I'd like to believe it was PR but I honestly don't know. They eventually broke up due to criticism over their 14 year age gap.

Emily Atack (2012): Not much to say. Seemed like just a short lived/quiet relationship that she confirmed. Maybe y'all know more about it than I do, though.

Lucy Horobin (2012): Not sure what this nightmare was about but I 100% do not believe it happened. I think it was PR to boost Harry's womanizer image.

Taylor Swift (2012-2013): They started dating right around when Taylor's first pop album, Red, was released. It makes sense that she'd want to date Harry to broaden her fanbase to the pop field. Likewise, it was also around the same time One Directions second album, Take Me Home, came out so the same could go for 1D trying to expand their fanbase. Seemed like a power move for them to play their cards right, which they absolutely did because we still talk about it even 8 years later.

Nicole Scherzinger (2013): Apparently they hooked up when he was 19 and she was 35. It weirds me out so I don't think about it too much.

Paige Reifler (2013): Here's a masterpost about it.

Kendall Jenner (2013-2014): They were introduced to each other via their managers (big PR hint). Then there were "sources" calling magazines saying how "flirty" they were and how they're a couple but both Harry and Kendall denied that they were dating. My guess? Kris Jenner wanted to set this up to boost Kendall's model status (since this was around the time she was taking that career leap). The KarJenners are big friends with the Azoffs so it's not impossible. But I think it failed for some reason, unless they were going for the "are they friends or are they more" vibe. This also followed a failed attempt from Kris at getting Kendall to flirt with Justin Bieber for popularity in 2010.

Erin Foster (2014):I feel like I can't fairly judge this because I only know her as the girl Harry went to a pumpkin patch with and that, to me, isn't enough proof of a relationship, real or PR. I know "sources" said they're dating but "sources" could be my neighbor's sister's aunt's dog (aka not reliable).

Paige Reifler (2014): She came back around this time to tell people her and Harry were seeing each other. She also posted pictures of her in his clothes. But then she backtracked and implied she wasn't actually seeing him. Just seems messy. This is the same masterpost from before that talks about it. Seems like it was PR again but I honestly have no clue.

Nadine Leopold (2014-2015): They got frozen yogurt together a couple times. Apparently she was at his birthday party. "Sources" claimed they were flirting. Not much to go off of.

Xander Ritz (2014/2015-???): I had only heard of Xander once and it was pretty recently so I don't know too much about him. I thought it would be fair to add him in though. Here's the ask. I guess there's some controversy around him (that's the vibe I get) but regardless him and Harry have been spotted together on numerous occasions and have been rumored to have dated at some point. Some people speculate he's the inspiration for "Medicine".

Louis Tomlinson (???): I think it would be unfair to not include Louis, even though it might cause controversy.

Sara Sampaio (2015): Based off of the pictures and assumptions I thought they were real and hooked up once, but apparently this was debunked. Here is the ask I received about it! I tried to find a master post or something but couldn't.

Georgia Fowler (2015): Apparently they got in touch through their managers because she wanted to be part of the Victoria Secret models. Her and her manager requested a meeting because 1D, and especially Harry, was really popular at that time and everyone knows being linked to Harry once gives you a lifetime of exposure. A friend of her's told what happened and even had messages to prove that it was just PR. This is the ask I got this information from!

Kendall Jenner (2015-2016): Basically a continuation from earlier. Their get together happened right after Zayn left 1D and after Kendall was hospitalized for "exhaustion". Setting Harry and Kendall up again stopped questions about Zayn and why Kendall had gotten to the point of exhaustion where she needed to be hospitalized, and also gave a boost to 1D's last album (which came out in late 2015). I think they're friends who are amicable with each other which is why we continue to get content. I just don't think they ever dated. However the only thing I cannot explain, unless it was an orchestrated leak, was Anne's iCloud getting hacked and exposing all those photos of Harry and Kendall. But I did hear that when they were getting papped on the yacht, after their pictures were taken they'd immediately separate and go about their day (this came apparently from people on yachts nearby witnessing the whole thing).

Townes Adair Jones (2017?): This one's too weird for me to consider it being real. I doubt "consent king" would write and release a suggestive song about a girl without even telling her. Also he changed the lyrics in "Carolina" from "Town" to "Townes" (wouldn't he remember her last name if they got together?) My guess? "Carolina" is about drugs but he used a suggestive story to cover up the real meaning and this girl agreed to be his "muse".

Tess Ward (2017): Couldn’t tell you this one lol check out this ask about it though.

Camille Rowe (2017-2018). This one confuses me. Up until recently I thought it was 100% real but now I'm not sure. Camille moaned Harry's name on her Instagram story (weird, no creepy). Then Harry was asked about her on Nick Grimshaw's show, to which he said no (also his heart rate did NOT go up but it did for a pair of Chelsea boots). Then they start dating about a week later. Odd timing but nevertheless they seemingly date for a year (almost to the day). I don't doubt they had something and I'm sure they liked each other, but how serious could they have been if Harry was touring a majority of their relationship? Just seems odd but at least it gives a narrative for Fine Line.

Kiko Mizuhara (2019): Pretty sure she confirmed they never even met or properly hung out.

Nicole Branch (2020?): Still not entirely sure who this is LMAO but pretty sure she's milking their friendship for attention. Maybe they hooked up but the timing doesn't make sense so I'm calling bullshit.

Bianca Finch (2020?): Apparently she was a diehard fan of Harry's. Harry followed her on Instagram in October 2020. She then told people she slept with him. Not really much to go off of (because I don't necessarily trust her word) so I'm calling bullshit again. Plus, unless I'm wrong, the timeline doesn't make sense. Harry was filming DWD and supposedly in the process of pursuing his one true love. Plus we were in a pandemic. Too many holes in my opinion, but let me know if my information is incorrect!!

Olivia Wilde (2020-2022): 100% PR. No need to discuss more.

Obviously this list doesn't include any fans he's hooked up with or dated, but I really don't think it was that many. I strongly believe a lot of people make up stories for attention.

Anyways, hope this was helpful :) just my thoughts and not meant to stir up drama or anything!! x

[whatiwillsay]

off topic - let’s talk about gaylena 👀

selena gomez is one of taylor’s oldest and bestest friends and given that she is in the 22 liner notes, a huge part of taylor’s life, and maybe fruity herself it seems like possibly we don’t talk about her here at the blog enough!

i don’t want to do a timeline of selena and taylor’s friendship - you can read more about that here, but they met back in the day when they were both dating jonas brothers and to me this idea of finding a real friendship in the midst of these contrived promances is pretty adorable.

ofc most of y’all think taylor is a fruit basket but i think there’s a good chance that selena is too!  i’m not saying she is for sure but y’all know me.  i’’m here to make a compelling case that everyone and their dog is gay so let’s gooooo! 

Part I - At least one fake rs!  

Selena “dated” Taylor Lautner in 2009 and he’s definitely gay.  Of course, that doesn’t mean she is, it could just be PR, but y’all know I gotta note everything!  We stan our fruity bffs dating the same gays 😍

Part II - Selena x cara delevingne

i feel like there’s a chance they met through taylor but everyone in that squad adjacent circle knows one another.  cara dated michelle rodriguez for the first half of 2014 and then got with annie clark in March 2015 but it feels like it’s possible something has gone on between her and Selena from summer 2014 - early 2015? ...maybe something casual on and off a bit?

August 2014 - Steamy pics surface in Saint-Tropez, France

Selena and and a freshly single Cara vacation together in part to celebrate Selena’s 22nd birthday.

They party together and look cozy!

Pictures such as this surface and spark rumors around the two:

Selena apparently loves the rumors and gushes about being shipped with Cara.

Quote:

You say Selena drag queens were the true measure of success for you. But isn’t it true that you’re not truly famous until you’ve been the subject of a gay rumor? And last year, the tabloids had a field day with photos of you and Cara Delevingne. I’ve made it!

How did you react to those rumors? Honestly, I loved it. I didn’t mind it. Especially because they weren’t talking about other people in my life for once, which was wonderful. Honestly, though, she’s incredible and very open and she just makes me open. She’s so fun and she’s just extremely adventurous, and sometimes I just want that in my life, so I didn’t mind it. I loved it.

Notice she doesn’t deny them?  Now of course she could just be being cool, if she freaked out about it that might be even weirder but hey, it’s still kind of interesting.

Then she admits to questioning her sexuality???

Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Oh, I think everybody does, no matter who they are. I do, yeah, of course. Absolutely. I think it’s healthy to gain a perspective on who you are deep down, question yourself and challenge yourself; it’s important to do that.

(Selena btw, this is cool and all, but not everybody questions their sexuality, maybe you’re just gay 👀)

November 1 - LACMA Art + Film Gala 

they even left the event together 👀

and they hung out earlier that day as well:

They were seen the next day partying for Kendall Jenner’s bday singing to her:

a few weeks later Cara tweets Selena’s lyrics!

In December 2014 they are travelling together in texas:

in january 2015 they get cozy at the golden globes together!

and they leave together again:

January 19th/20th a bunch of gay nonsense happens

They post this gay shit with matching shoes and linked fingers:

then they say this to one another:

Enty says they were hooking up!

then we don’t get any more content that i can find for about six months! perhaps they had a fling from summer 2014-jan 2015 and then it ends, Cara gets with Annie in March?  Then after half a year apart Selena and Cara resume a friendly relationship?  Perhaps!  Selena is seen with Justin a bit off and on during this time but this was in their Style/Heat Death Era imo (tbh i probably shouldn’t give a hetty pairing including Justin that designation 🤢but y’all get what I’m saying - it’s fully possible Selena was hooking up with both of them!

Now I’m not super familiar with Selena’s discography so y’all lmk if I’m missing anything major - lyric wise that point to her not being straight.

Selena’s album Revival that comes out after this relationship has a few songs with some vibes, even though I get the feeling a lot of it is probably about Justin, allow me to reach.  The title track could be translated as someone coming to terms with their sexuality (among other things):

I feel like I've awakened lately The chains around me are finally breaking I've been under self-restoration I've become my own salvation Showing up, no more hiding, hiding The light inside me is bursting, shining It's my, my, my time to butterfly

Good for you, imo, is too sexy to be about a man even if it’s not super queer lyrically it’s a vibe ok?

Me & My Girls might be a bestie anthem a la 22 (oh wait, no 22 was gay too) but I mean...could be about a girl gang of lesbians too!

And if we want it, we take it If we need money, we make it Nobody knows if we fake it You like to watch while we shake it I know we're making you thirsty You want us all in the worst way But you don't understand I don't need a man 

Quinn Fabray indeed!

Nobody feels probably like a retrospective on Justin 🙄but...there is a hint of sapphic craving in there!  Saying this particular lover loves them differently than everyone is a bit 👀 plus this stanza:

No oxygen, can barely breathe My darkest sin, you've raised release And it's all because of you, all because of you And I don't know what it is, but you've pulled me in No one compares, could ever begin To love me like you do And I wouldn't want them to

Is Perfect about some bitch Justin started dating?  Probably but bear with me here this song is actually pretty fucking gay.  Gay enough that I’m gonna add it to one of my gay playlists.  Could this song actually be about Cara moving on to Annie?

Ooh, and I bet she has it all Bet she's beautiful like you, like you And I bet she's got that touch Makes you fall in love, like you, like you

I can taste her lipstick and see her laying across your chest I can feel the distance every time you remember her fingertips Maybe I should be more like her Maybe I should be more like her I can taste her lipstick, it's like I'm kissing her, too And she's perfect And she's perfect

Part III - Selena x Julia Michaels

Julia Michaels is a singer/songwriter known for her song Issues.  I don’t know her sexuality but she at the least has gay vibes!  It seems they met around this time perhaps because Julia wrote on Revival.

They have a friendly enough friendship for a few years, liking one another’s posts on IG from time to time, posing for a photo a time or two and then they seem to get swept up into this very intense friendship in 2019.  They write some music together and Julia goes whole hog in promoting the shoe brand Selena is hawking this time 😭

2019 - The Superior Sapphic Jelena Timeline:

It starts, for some reason with a lot of shoe promotion:

chill, chill

more shoes

but more gayness?

this homo shit

ok...

Then we go into the REALLY GAY NOVEMBER OF 2019:

Then they perform together:

And...actually kiss...on the mouth on stage???

Sure it’s just a peck but still...if that were a guy people would say they were dating.  

Somehow kissing on the mouth isn’t the gayest thing these girls do over this period because these fucking dykes got matching tattoos.  I’ve read enough Larry blogs to know this actually means they’re secretly married.  All jokes aside this is fruity behavior. 

From their IG stories:

Selena gets Julia a very nice christmas gift:

Covid sets in and content drops off but god damn!  It’s possible they just had an intense friendship but if a man and a woman collabed on music together, kissed in public, and got matching tattoos everyone would say they were dating!

Selena, as far as I can find, didn’t have any public boyfriends around this time so who are some of these love songs about?

Rare comes out in January 2020 and perhaps has some gayish songs?

Don’t tell me why but boyfriend lowkey, has a gay vibe.  Don’t ask me to explain it but it’s just the musicality of it.

Crowded Room could be a love song for Julia?  (or by Julia for Selena, since they’re collaborators?)

Baby, it's just me and you Baby, it's just me and you Just us two Even in a crowded room Baby, it's just me and you, yeah

These are general gay vibes, our secret moments in a crowded room tease

It started polite, out on thin ice 'Til you came over to break it I threw you a line and you were mine

It would have started out polite between them, since they worked together for years before whatever 2019 was happened.  And throwing someone a line first of all makes Selena sound like the aggressor but also “throwing someone a line” could be a reference to writing songs together.

Yeah, I was afraid, but you made it safe I guess that is our combination Said you feel lost, well, so do I So won't you call me in the morning? I think that you should call me in the morning If you feel the same, 'cause

Lots of people are afraid at the beginning of a gay rs.  Treacherous tease 👀

In summation!

Selena does gay stuff like fantasizing ab kissing other women in her music, getting very touchy with famous dykes on vacay, hangs out with Taylor Swift, has chronic mental health issues, dated a jonas brother and a twilight gay, has admitted to questioning her sexuality, and loves being shipped with women.  Is she gay?  I don’t know!   But all she’s missing from her celesbian bingo card is a suspiciously intense friendship with a Glee Cast member! What do you guys think?  Selena fruity or just weird?

Edit to add: so apparently I missed an entire ship and Selena supposedly acted really gay all the time with her backup dancer Charity Baroni.  Exposing SMG has posted a lot about all that.

Also Selena has been cast in a gay role! edit to add: @bisluthq went and found this for me - julia is indeed a fruit queen

[amigosmercedes]

Dianna Agron in Music Video's

On one occasion in the RED room during the tour, Taylor freely stated that she loves Dianna's MV and is proud of it.

And it might be inspired by the lyrics "Knew he was a killer the first time that I saw him." I wonder how many girls she left "haunted"

The old theories that this song was written by Dianna? Brandon of the Killers claimed it was the only song on the record that wasn't truly about the band, and the lyrics contain references to Dianna's life. When I saw the skeletons in the MV, I thought to myself, "And the skeletons in our closet plotted hard to f*** this up."

"I could be reeling 'em in left and right, Something's got a hold on me, tonight" - this line is so Dianna, she uses it all the time.. it also reminds me of what Sam Smith said about the song I'm not the only one, the only song on the album that isn't about him but about someone else, then exactly on the video frame was Dianna, and I remember Taylor's reaction when that song was released, and he even made a …I have no qualms that Dianna can compose a song because she has previously created a screenplay at such a young age. I believe she is still doing it…also there are speculations that dianna is assisting Taylor with her red album, such as reconstructing the EHC and assisting with MV ideas, especially in 22, Begin Again, and EHC, which dianna was already directing before she met Taylor. Also, according to some, the last time was their first collaboration.. the last time and exile are practically identical, with dianna being a big fan of Bon Iver.

Aside from being a musician, there are a few factors that indicate to Dianna's involvement in various songs.

1. Both the Killers and Sam Smith's songs are aimed at men.'s got a low voice and sings male songs; it's probably how she'd write them, too. You mention some of Taylor's songs that either have male guest vocals or are in a lower female range, too.

2. In the MV, Dianna plays the character whose perspective the song is from, even if that involves drag.

3. Speaking of playing Brandon Flowers, it makes sense if the song is a killers' song but isn't really by or about the killers, you know? Keep Brandon's voice but show at least subtly that it's Dianna's song. I don't know if Dianna is friends with Brandon or anything, but apparently a fan. But it being an odd song-out makes sense because the album was a 10th anniversary disc and all the other songs were re-released.

4. The lyrical references to her childhood and brother are especially weird compared to the MV references. Lots of killers in history. Or is that another sign? lyrics = brandon singing + dianna's history, video = dianna acting + killers' history

5. Dianna and Sam are or were very good friends, who apparently shared relationship woes, so

6. You mention Bon Iver, and when I first heard/saw Cowboy Like Me, I thought the clock set to 4:30 was a reference to Bon Iver's birthday, April 30, and that was an easter egg that he was the uncredited writer/vocalist, but I quickly learned that it's Marcus Mumford. I'm not saying Taylor can't know Mumford just through the music industry, but being connected by Dianna seems more obvious, and April 30 is also Dianna's birthday.

7. EHC seems obviously about dianna if just from timing and liner notes. the MV here has clues as well, like watching the movie in class showing Paris-who would take Taylor to Paris if not Francophile Dianna? etc.

Taylor constantly references Dianna on her songs, MVs, and especially live performances during Lover. Even in the rep MV, I see she mentions MV 22 and WANGBT, which even Swiftie fans recognized.

Just Another Girl

Song by The Killers

Released 2013 = Early 2013, Dianna and Taylor was broke up. Dianna try to propose for Taylor but the PR shut it down. Sept 2013 the FUN concert, Dianna try to patch up their relationship but post "WITHDRAWAL" on twitter, like she withdrawal herself from Taylor.

Lyrics

Step out into the Indian dust I can feel the cracks in my spirit They're starting to bust Drive by your house, nobody's home I'm trying to tell myself that I'm better off alone

All of my friends say I should move on She's just another girl Don't let her stick it to your heart so hard And of all my friends say it wasn't meant to be And it's a great big world She's just another girl

Another girl

I went to see a fortuneteller That was a trip Maybe this confusion's got me losing my grip I can't believe you're out there Flying with somebody else, uh-huh

Now Jason's getting married in the blink of an eye ==> funny that Dianna's brother name's is Jason Agron I got an invitation, but I didn't reply Tell your little brother that we put down the gloves And give him all of my love

All of my friends say I should move on She's just another girl Don't let her stick it to your heart so hard And all of my friends say it wasn't meant to be And it's a great big world She's just another girl

I could be reeling 'em in left and right Something's got a hold on me, tonight

Well, maybe all of my friends should confront The fact that I don't want

Another girl

All of my friends say I should move on All of my friends say All of my friends say All of my friends say She's just another girl

Now why can't I sleep at night? And why don't the moon look right The sounds up, the TV's on And it's a great big world

She's just another girl Don't let her stick it to your heart, boy She's just another girl All of my friends say She's just another girl

Another girl

I’m Not the Only One

I'm Not the Only One

Song by Sam Smith

Released: 2014 = Taylor pursue Karlie after they met at Victoria Secret FS late 2013. See Taylor song's "chase two girls, lost the 1".

In AMA 2014, Dianna met Taylor and Karlie. Karlie is Taylor plus 1. See the infamous picture of Dianna greet Taylor with Karlie sit next to Taylor. Then in another picture, Taylor and Karlie stand up cheerfully side by side while we can see Dianna fixture behind Karlie. This kinda shady move of Taylor. Not even, Taylor being little considerate considering her ex is there. That's why we got Afterglow songs. Like what ? Taylor remorse because her shady act toward Dianna ?

Sam Smith said that the song's about someone else love story. Sam Smith even dedicated the song for Dianna

Lyrics

You and me we made a vow For better or for worse I can't believe you let me down But the proof is in the way it hurts For months on end I've had my doubts Denying every tear I wish this would be over now But I know that I still need you here

You say I'm crazy 'Cause you don't think I know what you've done But when you call me baby I know I'm not the only one

You've been so unavailable Now sadly I know why Your heart is unobtainable Even though Lord knows you kept mine

You say I'm crazy 'Cause you don't think I know what you've done But when you call me baby I know I'm not the only one

I have loved you for many years Maybe I am just not enough You've made me realize my deepest fear By lying and tearing us up

You say I'm crazy 'Cause you don't think I know what you've done But when you call me baby I know I'm not the only one

You say I'm crazy 'Cause you don't think I know what you've done But when you call me baby I know I'm not the only one

I know I'm not the only one I know I'm not the only one And I know, and I know, and I know And I know, and I know, and I know, know

I know I'm not the only one

Similarities music video of I'm Not the Only One vs Babe are uncanny. I will not make analysis on it, because it already done by another tumbr post

Babe music video by Sugarland

Sugarland - Babe ft. Taylor Swift

Lyrics

What a shame Didn't wanna be the one that got away, yeah Big mistake, broke the sweetest promise That you never should have made I'm here on the kitchen floor You call, but I won't hear it You said no one else, how could you do this, babe?

You really blew this, babe ==> Taylor blame Dianna for everything on their messed relationship. I dont think it is fair. Because both of them in closet and Taylor doing bearding. Literally each of them kiss and make out with their beard. Its not simply Dianna false. Compare to Hayley Kiyoko and Becca Tilley. They are just private. They dont need beard. Part of Hayley is openly gay. But, Becca is no being bearding. I know Becca dont need bearding, because she is not that celebrity compare to Taylor Swift. However, Becca is not making their relationship secret. Her friend and family know that Hayley and Becca together. Hayley has been so patient with Becca.

We ain't getting through this one, babe This is the last time I'll ever call you, babe This is the last time, this is the last time This is the last time, I'll ever call you babe

What a waste Taking down the pictures and the plans we made, yeah And it's strange how your face doesn't look so innocent Your secret has its consequence and that's on you, babe I break down every time you call We're a wreck, you're the wrecking ball We said no one else, how could you do this, babe?

You really blew this, babe We ain't getting through this one, babe This is the last time I'll ever call you, babe This is the last time, this is the last time This is the last time

Since you admitted it, I keep picturing Her lips on your neck, I can't unsee it I hate that because of you, I can't love you Babe What a shame, didn't want to be the one that got away How could you do this, babe?

You really blew this, babe We ain't getting through this one, babe How could you do this, babe This is the last time, this is the last time This is the last time, I'll ever call you babe (how could you do this babe?)

I'm here on the kitchen floor, you call but I won't hear it You said I'm no one else, we ain't getting through this one, babe I break down every time you call This is the last time, this is the last time (we're a wreck, you're the wrecking ball) You said I'm no one else, this is the last time I'll never call you babe

[allsassnoclass]

The Inherent Domesticity of Target’s Home Decor Section

Pairing: Michael Clifford/Calum Hood Rating: Teen Word Count: 2076 Read on AO3

Michael has mixed feelings about Target.  On one hand, Target is better than Walmart, and he appreciates that they get to design different album covers and sell special editions there.  On the other hand, walking into Target makes him feel like he should have his life together more.  That’s not to say that his life is a disaster; his life is actually pretty great, and he feels like a fully functioning adult.  However, the store still gives him the niggling feeling that he should buy a planner and some post-it notes and turn into a suburban mom.

“Do you think I should buy a planner?” he asks.  Calum hums, reading the back of a DVD that’s on sale for $5.  When he shifts to put it back on the shelf, Michael shifts right with him, arms around his stomach and cheek plastered against his shoulder.  It’s earlier in the morning than Michael would like, so Calum gets the privilege of holding him up as punishment for dragging him out into the world at this time of day.

“Why do you need a planner?  Ashton takes care of that stuff for the band,” Calum says.  He picks up another DVD and flips it over.

“Yeah, but maybe I should put down everyone’s birthday or something,” he says.  Calum snorts and Michael pinches his side, because he’s apologized for forgetting his birthday that one time sincerely and profusely and gave Calum a pretty spectacular blowjob to make up for it.

“Would you even use it?” Calum asks.  Michael considers and has to concede his point.

They look at DVDs for a few more minutes because Calum gets a kick out of what a place like Target choses to stock in their meger selection.  Michael lets him slip some animated thing he thinks he watched once as a kid into the basket, content to stand there while Calum takes his time and just breathe him in.  He loves being close to Calum, letting his familiar smell fill his nostrils and leeching body heat.  He lets their breathing sync up and imagines that he can hear his heartbeat, slow and steady and almost putting him to sleep standing up.

Nowhere feels like home quite like Calum does.  Even in the middle of Target, Michael feels better than he ever has alone in his house.  It makes him wonder why he’s even living alone, and why Calum pulled away and they stopped messing around when neither of them have girlfriends.

The bottom line is that he misses Calum nearly every moment they’re apart, but he doesn’t know how to articulate this without the crushing fear of rejection.  Calum loves him, and he knows that a significant part of Calum’s world revolves around Michael, but that doesn’t mean they necessarily love each other in the same way.  Michael wants grocery shopping and kisses and late night cuddles regardless of if they have somewhere to be in the morning and lazy sex and laughing at each other’s ridiculousness so hard that he can’t breathe.  Calum wants a platonic best friend.

“What else do we still need to get?” Calum asks, shaking Michael out of his reverie.

“Toothpaste, I think.  And vitamins.”

“Look at you, being healthy and shit.”

Michael pokes his side and Calum tries to wriggle away, giggling because Michael knows exactly which spot tickles the most.

“Just because I don’t let Ashton drag me to yoga like you do doesn’t mean I’m unhealthy.  I get the most sleep out of any of us and I drink a fuckton of water.”

“I know, I know,” Calum says.  “Want to check the CDs?”

It’s a distraction tactic, because Michael will always check the one-shelf CD selection, especially so soon after one of their own releases.  Michael makes the conscious decision to allow himself to be distracted.

“Okay.  CDs, then toothpaste, then vitamins, then I want to look at the home decor.”

“What do you want to look at the home decor for?”

Michael shrugs, knowing that Calum can feel it.  There’s just no non-incriminating way to say I like to see your reactions and pretend that we’re picking out stuff for our house because I might be fully in love with you and I want you in every single crevice of my life.

That’s the issue with Target: it makes him feel domestic and long for things he can’t have.

“Excuse me?” a new voice says, and Michael first feels a twinge of annoyance at someone interrupting his moment and then a twinge of panic that it could be a fan when he definitely doesn’t have the emotional or physical energy to put on a public persona.  One look at the owner of the voice dispels that notion.  The woman is on the later side of middle-aged and looks pretty much exactly like the kind of woman who cooks meatloaf and has 3 cats and actually does go to Target to buy planners.  As inclusive as the band tries to make their music, Michael can admit that she’s not exactly in their immediate wheelhouse for fans.  Nevertheless, he straightens up a bit, but the woman is smiling so he thinks he can maybe get away with still locking his arms around Calum’s waist.

“Sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to say that you boys make such a cute couple!  It’s so nice to see young people in love.”

Michael stiffens, but Calum puts a hand on his arm, effectively anchoring him in place before he can pull away.

“Thank you.  It’s nice to be in love,” Calum says, and Michael’s breath stutters in his throat.

The woman beams and for a moment Michael thinks she’s going to reach out and pinch Calum’s cheeks, but she just bids them a good day and continues towards the books.

“CDs?” Calum asks, casual as anything.  Michael nods and fully pulls away, not trusting himself to speak or to touch.

It was just a nice thing to say to a romantic woman, but it’s nice to be in love plays on repeat in his head like a broken record.  He knows, he knows that it doesn’t mean anything, but Michael would give almost anything to have it be the truth.

There are five copies of the Target exclusive edition of CALM on the shelf.  There’s also a Neil Diamond greatest hits collection and a few random soundtracks that Calum points out, but Michael can barely focus.  He kind of wants to skip the toothpaste and go straight home, but he also doesn’t want Calum to question why that small interaction with the woman threw him so off kilter.  By the time they make it through the checkout and back to Michael’s car, he feels like he’s going to vibrate out of his skin.

Calum waits until they’re out of the parking lot to start talking.

“I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable earlier.  That wasn’t my intention.  I just figured that was the easiest response.  I know we’re not--I know we don’t do that anymore.”

In a different world where Michael hasn’t kept a very tight lid on his feelings for his best friend for the past eight years, he would have crashed the car.

“I know,” he says instead.  Silence fills the space, heavy and uncomfortable.  Michael keeps his eyes resolutely on the road and tries not to read too much into how Calum keeps taking a breath as if he wants to talk before cutting himself off.

“And I understand,” Calum says suddenly, almost causing Michael to swerve.  “I understand why we’re not together anymore.”

“What,” Michael says.

“I’m not trying to get you back, or whatever.  I know you don’t think of me like that.”

“That I don’t--” Michael chokes.  “I’m sorry, what?”

“Come on, don’t make me say it,” Calum says, shifting in his seat.

“No, hang on.  I don’t understand what you’re saying to me right now.”

“Mike, stop it.  Now you’re just being mean.”

“Calum, you’re the one who pulled away from me.  Personally, I don’t understand why we’re not together anymore.  I didn’t even know that we were!”

“That’s bullshit!  What did you think we were, if not together?”

“I don’t know, fucking around?  I thought we stopped because you got bored of me.”

“Michael, we stopped because we got asked about ships in an interview and you got really weird about it.”

“Yeah, because I’ve been in love with you for half my life!”

Silence descends, and Michael absolutely cannot look at Calum right now.  The only things that exist are the steering wheel in his grip and the strip of road in front of him.  There’s still a good ten minutes until he reaches his house, and Michael is very content to spend those ten minutes pretending like he is alone and has not just revealed his biggest secret during an argument that he still doesn’t quite understand.

“Pull over.”

No such luck, apparently.

“Michael, pull over right now.”

He eases over and puts the car in park, letting his hands fall into his lap.

“You’re in love with me?” Calum asks.  Michael nods.  “We’re so stupid.”

“What?” Michael asks, finally looking over at Calum.  He doesn’t look uncomfortable or sad, he looks exasperated.  Michael isn’t sure what that’s supposed to mean.

“We’re idiots.  We could’ve been happily dating this whole time.  Hell, we probably could’ve been married by now,” Calum says.  “I’m in love with you, too.”

Michael blinks at him and really wishes his brain was operating a bit faster.

“Calum,” he says, for lack of anything else.

“Michael,” Calum grins right back.

“Are you serious?” he asks.  Calum rolls his eyes.

“Why would I joke about this?”

Michael shrugs helplessly.

“Michael,” Calum says seriously.  “I made you park the car.  We just had a conversation that obviously made you uncomfortable.  Why the fuck would I be joking right now?”

Michael shrugs helplessly again.

“You love me?” he asks.  Calum reaches over and grabs one of his hands.

“I’m head over heels, crazy in love with you.  It’s pathetic.  It’s ridiculous.  I want to jump you in this car right now.”

Michael laughs.

“Not in broad daylight,” he says.  Calum smiles in a way that makes something settle in Michael’s stomach, something that he hadn’t realized had been unsettled ever since they stopped seeing each other.

Fuck.  He’s so lucky.

“I’m in love with you, too,” he says.  Calum’s smile widens.

“I know,” he says.  “You just told me that.”

“Well, I wanted to tell you again.”

“Well, I’m in love with you, too.”

They’re talking in circles now--wonderful, love-sick circles--and Michael is thankful for multiple reasons when Calum breaks it by leaning over the center console to kiss him.  Calum’s lips are familiar under his, and even after months without feeling them Michael has them memorized.  This kiss feels different, though.  There’s a surety to it that they haven’t had before, a question and agreement that thrills him.

“You’re sure you don’t want to roll around in the back seat right now?” Calum asks softly when they part.  Michael grins and knocks their foreheads together.

“You’re funny,” he says.  “Ha, ha.”

Calum kisses him again.  Michael could definitely get used to this.  If their previous conversation is any indication, he’ll have plenty of time and opportunity to get used to this.

This time when the kiss breaks, Calum fully leans back rather than keep breathing his air.

“Okay,” he says.  “Let’s go home, Michael.  We’ve got years of a honeymoon phase to catch up on.”

Michael puts the car in drive and eases back onto the road.  They’ll have time to drive around again later, because Michael definitely wants to do another circuit of the Target home decor section with this new revelation.  Maybe he’ll try to find a card for the woman who confused them for a couple, just in case they happen to run into her by the post-it notes or planners.

Either way, Michael thinks that Target might be his favorite store now.  He glances at Calum to find him already looking at him and his chest warms.

Yeah, Target is definitely his favorite store, but he’d be okay with never setting foot in it again if it meant he could keep spending time with his favorite person.

Thankfully, the way that Calum leans over to kiss him at a red light seems to mean that he agrees.

[fmdjaewonarchive]

hi besties! i’m here with a q3 schedules post that has been a few hours in the making because i’m Stupid and have no braincells so this took a long ass time. below the cut i’ll detail most of what my muses are getting up to both with their groups and sprinkle in some relevant personal bits and pieces as well, personal schedules, character development and what not. this is a plot call for all my muses but yena and minah specifically could use a little more love, just throwing that out there! i also have a bunch of the base prompts still unfilled, might you be looking to do any of those you can find them here! to plot, please like this post, slide into my ims or hmu on d*sc*rd: huang renjun supremacy#5703

jaewon: 

okay first off july is jaewon month, his birthday is the 14th he will insist on being lowkey about it but tbh does that ever work out?

right after his birthday he’s holding his first ever solo concerts, on july 16th & 17th, anyone who is close friends with jaewon is most definitely invited and he will be very happy if they can make it because he’s both very nervous but very proud of it

july also has the dimensions company photoshoot, i’d love to do something there, mae him work with someone he doesn’t like or someone he’s not that familiar with possibly?

jaewon will be in an awful mood tho, just tryna vibe with unity and suddenly dimensions is like SIKE champion comeback BITCH

he will be bitching, he will be grumbling, he will be complaining

not to mention jaewon haaaaates 100, like, he was neutral enough about jopping (eventhough he still thinks ‘jumping and popping’ is STUPID) but 100 he absolutely hates as a song and he will make that everyone’s problem, anyone that spends time with it or even worse he runs into while promoting will not hear the end of it 

he will be a bit placated working on 90′s love but it won’t do much until champion schedules will truly come to an end

yuanjun: 

charm is mainly doing a lot of touring, especially in july/early august so he won’t be around much for that time but after he will return with souvenirs and big stories about his adventures in japan

i might elaborate some more on the charm tour but that will be in a bit, i’ll come back to that at a later time

after that there will be a lot of comeback work for semi;colon

he’s excited for home;run though, living his best theatre kid life

will be annoying everyone at the bc concert, would love to do something there, he will be bouncing all over the place probably

at the end of september charm will be at the hallyu dream concert like a Lot of artists, plenty of opportunity to have meetings there

and throughout the entire thing, all bc artists are workin on the documentary as well and as yuanjun is an annoying little social butterfly he might pop up in unexpected places while people are filming their things?

minah: 

oooooooh boy minah is busythis woman hasn’t had any sleep in god knows how long and that’s not about to change anytime soon

july and a part of august are filled with hurtlocker promotions and lipstick has a super super super busy festival season so if anyone finds themselves at one of those, odds are lipstick is there too

she doesn’t really care much for hurt locker but the reception is good and minah is very happy with that, she’s relieved to see lipstick still makes such a splash as a group

on top of all of that she’s preparing her own first full length album which she’s releasing on the heels of lipstick promotions, preparing for that is stressful, promoting for that is stressful but the album is super dear to her and she will be very proud that it’s out into the world

the bc concert also happens and honestly, she really likes their setlist (minus party) and she’s super excited to perform as lipgloss again, that’s been a while, she’ll be in a good mood there even if she is tired

filming the documentary will be a lot as minah is doing 50 things at once but at least she will be around the company building a Lot working on things

yena: 

gal.actic’s ten year anniversary happens and yena is just like... meh okay? honestly it’s kinda insane to her that gal.actic is still around and its not like she’s necessarily happy about the fact that they are

but hey it happens and gal.actic has some fanmeets which is a lil weird to yena, gal.actic doesn’t do a lot of concerts or fanmeets and it’s always a bit... odd for her to see how many fans they apparently have? 

at least the fanmeets ask very little performing on her part other than 5 songs (which tbh she all doesn’t want to perform with maybe the exception of a, also someone like u is kinda meh but she still doesn’t really care?)

for gal.actic related work the fanmeets will be kinda positive in yena’s book but don’t expect any overwhelming enthusiasm

the rest of the time she will go straaaaight back to complaining about the stupid festival performances, about the stupid comeback they’re preparing for, about stupid dimensions entertainment not just disbanding them already 

will be taking any excuses she can to sneak out of deepened choreo rehearsals, please enable her, or scold her, either one works

luckily her solo career isn’t exactly on a backburner either, she has some modeling going on, some photoshoots, some brand stuff, and if anyone asks how she’s doing or what she’s doing she’s more likely to bring those up than gal.actic

for the dimensions photoshoot the same applies as for jaewon, i’d love to use the opportunity to get her to interact with labelmates she hasn’t worked with at much, unlike jaewon tho she will actually be in a pretty good mood doing it, she loves photoshoots v much!

[velianmagicalgirl]

An Important Anniversary

So today’s Christmas! Merry Christmas everyone, I hope you had a good one. So anyway, I’m going to write something I’ve kinda wanted to write about for a while now but never knew when to do it it or if I even should. I wondered if anyone would care or if it was selfish of me to want anyone to care. But I’m doing it because I know I want to and if I don’t I’ll be mad at myself for that too.  So this is going to be a bit personal (and probably a bit long because I have a tendency to ramble) so if you don’t want to read it, feel free to skip but I would appreciate it if you did read it :) 

So like I said, today is Christmas and I want to talk about something quite important to me that happened on this day last year.  So last year I was in a pretty different place then than I am now (like most of us). I lived in Florida then, and now I live in South Carolina. I had just finished my first semester at my university and I was about to turn 21 (my birthday’s in January). 

So anyway, it came time to open presents, and among other things, my parents got me a record player which I was super excited for (I planned to buy one myself so I was pretty happy I wouldn’t have to spend the money :p) and one of the records my parents had gotten me was *drumroll please* The Joshua Tree by U2!  Now, this wasn’t a complete surprise to me (well it was a surprise that they got it for me, what a coincidence) but I had actually heard of this album and this band before... 

This is the story of how the universe tried to get me to listen to U2 since I was freaking 12 and I’m so dense I kept ignoring all the *signs* until last freaking year. 

Let’s time travel back to 2012 (sometimes I wish I could...) So I’ve done some thinking and this is the first time I can remember ever hearing anything about this band named after a Cold War era spy plane. Now I’m not exactly sure what year this was, it may have been 2011 but 2012 kept popping up in my head while I thought of it.  So at this time I was 12-13 years old (depending what year it was) and I was in 6th grade. Yes hello, I am a child.  So, really the whole memory is my mom talking to me, saying something along the lines of “That’s Bono! You know who Bono is right? Come on, everyone knows who Bono is! You know, the Irish guy?” and I remember being like “oh yeah!” pretending to remember just so she would leave me alone. Either I had a very vague memory of hearing that name before or I really had no idea who she was talking about and just wanted her to leave me alone.  This whole thing would explain why, up until last year, whenever I thought of him, I thought of him in his 360 look. Even now, that’s like his “default look” to me haha.  When I think about it, it feels like this was all in relation to American Idol which would make sense because I was in love with that show at the time and I had a huge crush on one of the contestants that year, a country singer named Scotty McCreery (I think he ended up winning too). I had a huuuuge crush on him, just ask my mom. 

Anyway, that’s my first memory of them. I guess it doesn’t have to do with U2 as a whole but it’s about Bono so... 

So fast forward about two years. I originally wasn’t going to include this but I just thought of it so in it goes. It’s 2014 now, I’m 15, just moved to Florida and I’m about to start high school. I also just missed out on getting a super cool new free album on my phone because my dumb dad (accidentally) broke my iPhone by dropping it in water. Thanks Dad. So in late August-early September (before September 9th obviously) I get a new phone but end up getting an Android. So I literally by just a few days miss out and getting that. Noooooooo. 

So anyway back to our regularly scheduled program of what I was going to write about. So next year, it’s 2015 now, I’m 16 and about to do a bunch of Stupid Things™ that it seems everyone is required to do while they’re in high school *sigh*. But we’re not going to get into that (😅).  This is another vague memory I have. I just remember having some sort of conversation with my mom about music. And somehow, I end up with the knowledge of The Joshua Tree by this band U2. I don’t really remember how specifically it happened, I just now it had something to do with her. I do have this specific memory of sitting in the computer lab during one of my classes and listening to the album.  Except, for some reason, I only ever listened to the first three songs. Seriously. Why? I have no idea. What was wrong with me? And I liked them (especially the first one). I remember not liking the third one very much (hahaha... how that’s changed...) So I liked them, but for some reason they just didn’t catch on in my head (and I didn’t listen to the others... FOR SOME REASON *kicks self*). 

So anyway, time goes on and I mostly forget about those three little songs. Until February-ish 2018. I’m now 19 and about to graduate high school in a few months (scary). Anyway, I pick up this book at the school library one day called The Memory of Things (by Gae Polisner, it’s actually one of my favorite books, if not the favorite. I really recommend it). So basically the main character Kyle is a pretty big U2 fan. That’s not really the plot or anything but that’s a big part of his character. There’s a part where he’s looking online at pictures of the recent Slane Castle concert during the Elevation Tour and he’s like “I wish I was there” (me too). There’s also a part where he gives one of his friends his PopMart shirt. There’s also a chapter called “Achtung Baby” (I was like “what the heck is an achtung”) where one of the things that happens is he talks about how he likes the song Mysterious Ways (can’t argue with you there buddy). 

So a few months later, I find this movie called “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” on Netflix (also a really good movie, highly recommend, I don’t know if it’s on Netflix right now though) and I’m one of those weird people who likes to watch trailers for movies they’ve already seen so I was watching one of the trailers and Streets started playing and I was like “hey I remember this song!” and got me to start listening to it again (not the other three that I’d listened to before, or the other ones FOR SOME REASON *sigh* Also, here is the trailer if you’re at all interested).  

So fast-forwarding again to 2019. Last year. So like I said, I’m about to turn 21 and I open up one of my Christmas gifts to find that my parents got me a Joshua Tree record. I get excited because I’m like “Oh I remember this!” and I remembered I never actually listened to the whole thing before.  So finally AFTER FIVE FREAKING YEARS, I finally listen to the whole thing. And I really liked it. A lot. Why didn’t I do that before?? Like five years ago?? *kicks self*. Honestly, looking back on this, it really seems like the universe was really trying to get me to listen to them like “listen to U2 listen to U2 listen to U2 damnit!” but apparently I’m about as dense as a boy being flirted to so I had to be basically whacked on the head with it before I got it. 

So then a week or two later it’s now 2020 (it feels weird to think this was this year but it was) and my parents are driving me back to my dorm before the semester starts up. And we’re sitting at this light, I would tell you where it was except obviously you wouldn’t know. But there’s one light and then you take a left and maybe a hundred or 200 feet later there’s another light where you take a right and that takes you into the university campus.  So we’re sitting at this light and this cool song comes on. I look to see who it is (the joys of satellite radio) and I see it’s Mysterious Ways and I’m like “oh cool, a U2 song!” and also “hey, it’s that song from that book!” As much as I try to, I can’t seem to remember if I’d actually heard that song before or if I just thought I did because of that book. But I definitely liked it in that moment.  And I’m not kidding when I say this, but the song comes on and lasts the entire drive from that light to my dorm building parking lot. It ends right as we pull into a parking spot. Seriously. Was it meant to be? 😜 So after that, my parents help me bring my stuff back into my room and after they leave, I look up that song on Youtube and listen to it on repeat a few times while I’m unpacking my stuff. 

So now it’s a few days later, it’s my birthday, I’m now 21 and my dad comes to visit me. He takes me out to dinner and then I ask him to take me to Barnes and Noble so I can get some books. While I’m there I realize they have a record section and I think “hey I have a record player now so why don’t I look?” and so of course I end up at the Us because who else would I be thinking of at this point. So I look and notice that there’s an Achtung Baby album there and I think “hey it’s that album from that book!” and “that Mysterious Ways song is on here isn’t it?” so I ask my dad to buy it for me and he does. 

So I go back to my dorm and listen to it. And I guess like a lot of people did when it was actually released, I sat there thinking “what is this?” as the opening notes of Zoo Station played. Again, like everyone when it was actually released, (the same year my mom graduated high school interesting fact) I had been listening to Joshua Tree and had gotten used to that sound. So when I was first listening to it, I was worried that my new love affair with this band would be short lived (which was pretty dumb because they have a lot of albums but I wasn’t thinking of that at the time) but as it went on I liked One, So Cruel, and of course Mysterious Ways. 

So I ended up buying more of their albums, like All That You Can’t Leave Behind. I was excited to hear that one because I remember reading about it in that book as “their newest album” because of when it takes place. (The book is actually pretty new btw, 2016, it just takes place in the past). And geez, I never realized until now just how much that book has influenced me, and it’s not even about U2, the main character just likes them a lot lmao. The main plot is completely unrelated.  And funny story, but when Beautiful Day came on, I was like 🤯🤯🤯, basically my mind was blown because I remember hearing that song as a kid but I didn’t know it was by them lmao. Same thing with Desire. I remember my dad liked to listen to that in the car and sing along so when I was listening to Rattle and Hum and that came on I was like ????? how many more songs???? 

And in December-January, my step dad got a job promotion but it required him to move to South Carolina so in February they did and I flew up to visit them on Spring Break in early March and then the world ended :D :D :D 

So yeah, that’s my story of how I ended up here. I’ve basically been holed up in my room for an entire year obsessing over guys that are way too old for me. Eh, oh well, what can I say? It’s not my fault that one guy I first heard of when I was 12 was (and is) so good looking.  So yes, I’m a real big noob, only been here a year and I haven’t even seen them live because I couldn’t get my act together five years ago (or anytime between then and now) despite the universe’s best efforts to get me to. *sigh* sorry I’m so dense, universe. But I guess better late than never, better now than later, right? 

Anyway, there’s more I want to say but this is already a freaking novel (sorry but I warned you!) Maybe I’ll write everything else in a separate post sometime, but for now, I hope you enjoyed reading this. And to quote Bono on that “A-Z of 2014″ post he made, if you somehow made it to the end of this, you must be on painkillers. 

[abundanceofsoph]

SkyFire 3: Chapter 4

A week of the Late Late Show: May 2017      

Word count: 4.1k

SkyFire 3 MASTERLIST

Sorry it's been 3 weeks since the last chapter but I'm back at work and with Christmas approaching I can't promise I'll upload frequently although I do have a lot planned out for the rest of this story. I'm going to aim for monthly chapter updates.

The songs written by Aurora and mentioned in this chapter are Perfect Color - SafetySuit, I'll Be There - Jess Glynne, and Feel Good - Gryffin ft. Daya.

Hope you enjoy and always please don't forget to comment and share :)

Aurora and Harry were smiling as they climbed out of their hire car and were instantly greeted by James Corden and ushered into his home. They had driven straight from the airport, not even taking the time to drop off their luggage at the Malibu Mansion where Tony had lived before relocating to New York after building the tower and meeting Steve. James led them inside where his wife Jules immediately pulled them into hugs and the children ran around their feet excitedly. It had been a few months since they had seen them, and Aurora was shocked by how much they had grown in such a short time. Max had recently turned 6, while little Carey was nearing her 3rd birthday and the pair were such perfect combinations of their parents that they melted Aurora’s heart. As soon as Jules released Rori from their hug, Max grabbed her hand, tugging her into the playroom to show her his new toys. She happily sank to the floor, crossing her legs underneath her and smiling enthusiastically as Max handed her one toy after another, chattering away excitedly about where he got them, and which ones were his favourites. Harry joined them a few moments later, Carey resting on his hip as she also babbled away happily. The young couple gave their full attention to the children for the net hour until Jules declared it time for bed. Both children were reluctant to leave the room but after both Aurora and Harry pinky promised that they would be in town all week and would definitely visit again soon, they finally allowed their mother to lead them upstairs to their rooms.

They joined James in the kitchen where he poured a glass of wine for both himself and Harry and some of Jules’ homemade iced tea for their wives. It was a nice late spring evening and they ended up sitting out on the back patio with their drinks as the sun was slowly sinking into the horizon. James asked about the album launch and the show they had played the previous night in London and Harry launched into an animated recount of the show. Jules joined them shortly after they sat down, sighing as she sank into her seat and announced that the kids were successfully asleep.

As the boys started discussing James’ plans for the following few days on the show, Rori turned to Jules, asking about what she had been up to in the last few weeks since she and James had attended the wedding. Aurora had always loved kids and was especially soft when it came to Max and Little Carey, so she happily hung on every word as Jules recounted stories of silly things the kids had said or done. Aurora laughed as Jules spoke about Carey’s new favourite saying, ‘I do it’; apparently, she had entered into her independent phase and was wanting to do everything for herself, much to the exasperation of her parents. It was stories like these, and the afternoons spent playing with the kids that made Aurora dream of the time when she and Harry would be ready to start having children of their own. She was in no hurry, knowing that now, at the beginning of Harry’s new solo career, was the absolute worst time to try for a baby. Despite not wanting children for at least a few more years, she was so incredibly excited for their future family, a sentiment she knew her husband shared with her. They stayed until well after the sun had set before saying goodnight and driving down the coast towards the Stark family mansion on the Malibu cliffs. Rori smiled as they stepped into the large foyer and was greeted by a flood of memories of summers spent there with her parents and late nights sitting down on the beach.

xXx

The following morning Aurora woke early to make breakfast for Harry, knowing that he would be feeling a little nervous about the day ahead. He smiled softly at the blueberry pancakes placed in front of him as he took his seat at the kitchen table.

“Thanks babe,” he said, kissing Rori’s cheek as she sat down next to him with her own plate of pancakes. They ate together, talking about their days ahead, and all the segments James had planned for the week ahead. Once breakfast was finished, Aurora walked Harry to the front door and kissed him goodbye and good luck before he climbed into the hire car to drive into the city to the CBS studios. The moment Harry disappeared at the end of the drive, Aurora headed back into the house, busying herself with cleaning up the breakfast dishes and then watched impatiently as the clock slowly ticked away the minutes, eagerly waiting for JARVIS to announce the arrival of her guest. As soon as James had invited Harry on the show, Rori had decided that she would make the most of the opportunity, given how infrequently they were able to spend time on the west coast. She let out an excited squeal as JARVIS announced the car's arrival and she was out the front door by the time it parked out the front of the cliff top mansion. The moment Louis stepped out of the car, Aurora had her arms around him, only letting go long enough for him to retrieve the gorgeous 16 month old from the back seat.

“Oh my goodness, look at you!” Aurora cooed excitedly as soon as she saw Freddie in his father's arms. “You just keep getting cuter and cuter.” Louis chuckled at her reaction, immediately offering his son for her to hold and she happily took him into her arms, bouncing him on her hip as she led the way back into the house. “You’ve gotten so big!” she told the baby. “Gonna grow up big and strong and handsome just like your dad.” She wasn’t lying when she told Freddie that he had grown given that she hadn’t seen him since a few weeks before his first birthday, when his mother had graciously flown over to the UK with him when Louis' mother had passed away. Aurora had made sure to sneak many cuddles with him during his visit and had immediately become obsessed with the little baby who looked so much like his father.

“I’m so glad the timing worked out for this,” Rori said as she lay on the floor a little while later, playing with Freddie. “Wish we could get out here more often to see him, you know?”

“I actually mentioned that to Bri when I picked him up this morning and she said you should visit when you’re back in town on tour. Don’t always need to have me around to go see him.”

“Are you sure?” Rori asked. “It wouldn’t be weird?”

“Course not love,” Louis scoffed. “You’re his family, I mean Harry’s his bloody godfather. Besides I know Bri liked you the couple of times we all hung out together so I’m sure she’d love to get together for a coffee or something.”

“We’ll in that case I might have to find more excuses to fly out here.”

Louis put Freddie down for a nap on the large sofa, with plenty of pillows surrounding him to make sure he didn’t roll off, and then he and Aurora make coffee in the kitchen and chatted about the upcoming tour and what Louis had been up to. After Freddie woke up and it started getting closer to dinner time, Rori text Harry to see how late he would be home.

◊Aurora: How’s it going babe? Lou and I were just starting to think about dinner, and I wanted to check in on your plans.

◊Harry: Wanna get Lou to drive you in and we can all get something to eat around here?

Aurora looked up from her phone to repeat the question to Louis. He quickly agreed and they headed out to the car, loading Freddie in his car seat before making their way into the city.

They pulled into the CBS lot about an hour later and after texting Harry to let him know that they had arrived, he quickly met them outside. Harry was just as excited to see his godson as Aurora had been and happily climbed in the back of Louis car to sit next to the little bub as he babbled away.

The three friends chatted excitedly throughout dinner, always happy to be back together again even if only for a short time. Freddie spent most of the meal in either Rori’s lap or Harry’s since neither wanted to miss out on a single moment with the adorable little boy.

“How long you in town for Lou?” Harry asked towards the end of the meal.

“Just till tomorrow evening,” Louis replied. “Rori and I are gonna take Fred to Griffith Park and take him on the miniature train and then I’m flying out after dinner to head back to Donny.”

“We’ll have to try and catch up over summer before the tour kicks off,” Harry replied. “Feel like we’re not gonna see you otherwise.”

“Absolutely,” Louis agreed. “When you flying back?”

“I’m heading to Manchester after the Troubadour show Saturday night and Rors is spending next week in New York before meeting me up there. Back in London in few weeks for a gig on the 10th.”

“Everything ok with Robin?” Louis asked, noticing the way Harry didn’t seem excited to be heading home for a few weeks like he usually would be.

“Mum said he’s not doing well,” Harry admitted, his voice soft and edged with the threat of tears. “Wanna try and spend as much time as I can with him.”

“You let me know if you need anything, yeah?” Louis said. “You guys were incredible for me last year, so anything you need and I’m there.”

“Thanks Lou,” Rori said.

“Anyway,” Louis said, obviously trying to change the topic in the face of Harry’s dark mood change. “What’s got you heading to New York? Just seeing the family?”

“I’m actually gonna be in Vogue,” Rori replied. “They interviewed me last week and the photoshoot is next week.”

“That’s awesome!” Louis replied. “What’s the story about?”

“Marriage in the public eye. Touring with a disability,” Rori answered. “Just kind of a bit of a bio piece on my life, I guess. I’m honestly not entirely sure. We talked about all sorts of things, so it’ll be exciting to see what they put together for it.”

Unfortunately, Harry’s mood didn’t recover as they finished the meal, and they didn’t stay much later, all heading to their cars and saying goodnight. Harry remained quiet as he drove along the Malibu coast and Aurora decided to leave him to his thoughts, her fingers laced with his as their hands rested on her thigh and she squeezed his hand occasionally as a silent reminder that she was there if he needed her.

“Been a long day,” he mumbled when they arrived back at the house. “Think I might just head straight to bed.”

“Ok,” Rori agreed. “I’ll be up soon.”

xXx

Harry seemed back to his energetic self the following morning as they shared breakfast once again before he left for the studio and Aurora got ready for her day out with the Tomlinson boys. Louis picked her up midway through the morning and the pair laughed and sang along to the radio as they drove to Griffith Park. Rori smoothed out her yellow sundress as she climbed out of the car after Louis parked, slipping a pair of sunglasses on and throwing her handbag over her shoulder. She scooped Freddie out of his car seat while Louis unfolded the stroller, cuddling the toddler close and tickling him while he giggled adorably. They headed into the park and the moment Freddie spotted the trains he began wriggling in Aurora’s arms, desperate to be put down so that he could run over to them. Louis laughed as he pulled his son into his arms after watching Rori struggle to maintain her one handed hold on him for a few moments.

“Easy mate,” he told the little boy. “We’ll get there in a minute.”

Rori took over pushing the stroller, watching fondly as the father and son interacted. She didn’t often get to see Louis as a dad, but the past few days had shown her just how perfectly he fit into the roll. She wasn’t at all surprised, given how protective and caring he was towards his sisters, but it was nice to be able to witness his parental side.

They rode the trains for a while, before settling down at a picnic bench for lunch and Freddie quickly fell asleep for a nap in the stroller, exhausted from all the excitement.

“He really loves trains,” Rori chuckled.

“Obsessed with the bloody things,” Lou replied. “Started bringing him here every time I’m in town and he just goes mental for ‘em.”

“Do you wish you spent more time out here with him?” she asked softly.

“Yeah,” Louis sighed. “But if I moved out here permanently, I’d miss my family and I’m all over the place for different gigs. I see him as much as I can now and when he’s a bit older maybe he can come stay with me for summer’s or something.”

“You’re amazing with him.”

“He makes it easy,” Louis scoffed. “You’re pretty great with him too. You and Harry feeling ready yet.”

“No,” Rori replied quickly. “We talk about it every now and then, but with the solo career just starting it’s not a good time. Maybe in a few years everything will be a  bit more settled.”

“Glad you’re both on the same page,” Louis nodded. “You’ll both be great parents.”

xXx

Following their day in Griffith Park, Louis drove Aurora home, arriving shortly before Harry returned and the couple sat down to dinner together out on the back patio looking out over the ocean.

The next morning after breakfast, Aurora joined Harry on his drive into the city, spending the day in the studio with him before they went back over to James and Jules’ house for dinner again. The kids were excited to see them again and they spent some time running around the back garden with them before sitting down to dinner.

“I’ve got to say Rori,” James said as Jules cleaned away the dishes from dinner, “it was great having you hang out at the studio today.”

“I had a lot of fun,” Rori agreed.

“Should have spent the last two days with us too,” James joked.

“Sorry but little Freddie made me a better offer.”

“I guess I can’t really argue with that,” James laughed.

“I’m looking forward to tomorrow though,” Aurora added. “I absolutely love Carpool Karaoke. Pretty sure it’s my favourite segment.”

“You know Harry actually mentioned that yesterday and I’ve been meaning to talk to you about it all day. We got a lot more filmed today then we thought we would so we’ve got a bit of extra time up our sleeves tomorrow and I was wondering if, after we film Harry’s Carpool, maybe you’d want to do one too and I can save it for an episode in a few weeks’ time. I always like to have a spare segment tucked away in case of emergency.”

“Really?” Rori asked, her face lighting up excitedly and causing Harry to chuckle. “Yeah, I’d love that.”

xXx

The following morning, after Harry climbed out of the black SUV, a large grin splitting across his face, Aurora bounced excitedly on the balls of her feet as James changed his shirt and prepared to film the second carpool segment. She was wearing a simple purple dress, her long dark hair curled softly and fanning out over her shoulders.

Aurora found herself a little nervous as she climbed into the car, smiling and chuckling as James thanked her for helping him get to work and asking if she minded if he played some music while they drove. She smiled excitedly as he queued up the first track for them, having no idea what 5 songs he had picked out and she was eager to see what he had pulled together, confident that Harry had also played a hand in picking the line-up.

The first song to play through the cars speakers was one that she had written many years ago and she let out a startled chuckle as the opening notes played out.

“I’m going to want the story behind this when it’s over,” James commented right before the lyrics began.

Yellow nice to meet you Do you know that you just blue my mind? It was the perfect conversation, I think that I red about one time And I told a white lie when I told you

I've never been green with envy, you You're the perfect colour

“Ok, so tell me,” James said as soon as the track came to an end. “I’ve been told the story behind this song is a good one, so spill.”

“Well years ago, when I used to join the lads on tour,” Rori began, smiling at the memories of touring with One Direction and how much fun they all had together during her summer breaks from Columbia. “On the days off in between shows, we’d often go grab dinner at a local pub and have a few drinks and we’d play this game where one person would come up with a challenge and on the back of a napkin we’d each write a verse or a chorus using the theme picked out and then we’d pick a winner. It could be anything like having to use a certain word or phrase, or not being able to use the letter A. One night the challenge was to use a different colour in every line, and I won the round with that chorus. Then while we continued on the tour, I couldn’t get it out of my head and eventually turned it into a complete song.”

“Did any other songs make it out of that game and out into the world?” James asked.

“Maybe a few,” Rori replied with a cheeky smirk, “But I’m not telling you which ones.”

“Spoil sport,” James huffed before moving on to the next song.

As Jess Glynne’s voice filled the car, Rori swallowed thickly around the lump in her throat and joined James in singing along. I’ll Be There had been released only a little over a month ago and had been a staple on every radio station since. When she’d first heard the final recording of the track, Aurora hadn’t been able to hold back her tears as she listened to her own words sung back to her so beautifully, but now after countless listens, she was able to listen without the overwhelming emotions and simply enjoy the track.

When all the tears are rolling down your face And it feels like yours was the only heart to break When you come back home and all the lights are out, ooh And you're getting used to no one else being around

Oh, oh, I'll be there When you need a little love, I got a little love to share Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna come through You'll never be alone, I'll be there for you I'll be there, I'll be there for you I'll be there, I'll be there for you Oh, I swear, I got enough love for two, ooh, ooh, ooh You'll never be alone, I'll be there for you

They sang the first verse and chorus before allowing the song to fade out and James looked across to where Rori was sitting next to him.

“You know this is one of my favourite songs at the moment,” he said, “and I think I was signing along to it for about a week before I found out it was one of yours.”

“Really?” Rori laughed.

“Really,” James echoed. “It’s too bloody hard to keep track to be honest. At this point I should just assume every hit is one of yours unless told otherwise.” Rori blushed deeply and giggled awkwardly in response to his glowing compliments. “I’m always so interested in the stories behind songs and I know your fans are always eager to hear, so what inspired this one?”

“Ummm…” Rori mumbled. “I actually wrote this one back around New Years for Louis,” she admitted, instantly knowing that Twitter would explode at this revelation. “For as long as I’ve known him, music has always been this beautiful way for us to have the conversations that are sometimes too hard to have and like the chorus says I just wanted him to know that through all of it, I’d be there.”

“And it really is a beautiful message,” James agreed, recognizing that Rori didn’t want to sit in these emotions any longer and he quickly segued into the next track and away from the painful memories of losing Jay. “You have such a way of putting so much emotion into your lyrics and I honestly think this next one is one of my favourites and I selfishly picked it because I’ve always wanted to hear you sing the final chorus.”

Rori’s smile returned as the acoustic version of Feel Good by Gryffin and Daya started up and she happily sang along, breathing deeply and reaching for the very high notes towards the end of the track. Causing James to fall silent as he watched her belt out the notes until the track finally ended.

Take my hand in the middle of a crisis Pull me close, show me, baby, where the light is I was scared of a heart I couldn't silence But you make me, you make me feel good I like it

“So, like I was saying, there’s always such emotion in the songs you write,” James reiterated. “Do you find it difficult to trust other artists with songs about things that are so personal?”

“Sometimes,” Rori answered. “Every song comes from something in my life whether it’s something amazing or terrible and you leave a little part of you in your work, so it can be scary to give that away to someone else and trust them to take care of it, but I also love seeing what other people do with my lyrics. Sometimes they take it in a completely different direction and apply their own story and feelings to the song which changes it slightly and I always find that fascinating. Sometimes the song’s just too personal and I have to hold onto it for myself or Harry.”

James nodded as she spoke before queuing up the next song and happily joining Aurora in belting out the familiar lyrics to Fleetwood Mac’s Seven Wonders.

If I live to see the seven wonders I'll make a path to the rainbow's end I'll never live to match the beauty again The rainbow's edge

After a quick chat about how she was looking forward to the upcoming tour with Harry, they played the final song and Rori couldn’t keep the cheek splitting grin of her face as she sang along to Infinity. Harry’s voice filled the car and she joined him in the chorus as they both belted out the high notes.

How many nights does it take to count the stars? That's the time it would take to fix my heart Oh, baby, I was there for you All I ever wanted was the truth, yeah, yeah How many nights have you wished someone would stay? Lay awake only hoping they're okay I never counted all of mine If I tried, I know it would feel like infinity Infinity, infinity, yeah Infinity

By the time they pulled back into the studio lot, both Rori and James were a mess of laughter and giddy grins, climbing out of the car to be instantly greeted by Harry.

“How did go?” he asked as he wrapped his arm around his wife’s waist and walked them back inside.

“She was better than yours,” James joked.

“Don’t doubt it,” Harry agreed before placing a kiss on Rori’s temple. “Bloody talented this one. Can’t believe she’s settling for being in my backing band. Could be on a world tour of her own if she wanted to.”

“But she doesn’t want to,” Aurora added. “She would like lunch though.”

“Then lunch she shall have,” Harry laughed.

xXx

That night the final episode of Harry’s week on the Late Late show aired and the following evening he and the band played a gig at the Troubadour. Saturday afternoon the young couple said their goodbyes inside LAX before boarding their separate flights, one bound for Manchester while the other headed for New York.

NEXT CHAPTER

OR CONTINUE READING ON AO3

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Tues 27 Aug

Louis: "are you quite finished? All right HOLD MY DRINK..." holy fuck y'all. Okay so quick recap, promo for Louis' new single just went from zero to one thousand, it's (aptly) called Kill My Mind and it's already killing us. Please just take it as read that I'm still having a full on conniption about every scrap of this but it'll be 5k if I actually emote even a small percentage of what I'm feeling. So: first the song was registered (co-writers are Jamie Hartman and Sean Douglas) and then Louis tweeted "Here we go again..." He liked a reply quoting Clouds ("another go round for all my friends") but in fact was referencing Back To You as a clue- streaming BTY on spotify revealed it had a new short video attached of black and white footage of Louis with lettering, BTY title stuff, but with red accents picking out KMM. Why BTY? Maybe because he's close to hitting a billion streams on spotify, this should tip it over, the brilliance... as for why that single I feel like it being the only one that the title info actually has the letters KMM in it is possibly a significant factor. Anyway, his website also updated to a red and black theme, and after giving us like an hour to freak out Louis came back and tweeted simply "KMM"; right after that the cover art with (not yet active) pre-save and purchase links was found, they'd made the link and not shared it yet. And apparently didn't intend to whoops! It's back down for now and probably someone got in trouble as they kind of should: if you're gonna set us hunting for things be prepared to have us, you know, finding things. Remember the hidden TOU director's cut though? There's so much we aren't finding right now probably... (overwhelmed tears) Anyway the cover feels like it goes with the TOU cover (LT1 theeeme) but features a close and intimate and soft but mildly confrontational Louis picture where TOU was more remote and introspective feeling, and loud high contrast red and black and white in place of the TOU cream tones, in summary my crystal ball says you're all correct and it's gonna be the "loud and in your face" pop punk banger we were promised and have been waiting on (oh yeah and we're all gonna die)!

The fan who won the comic relief breakfast with Louis revealed that they've known the single title since then, then retweeted the "took some time cos I’ve ran out of energy of playing someone I’ve heard I’m supposed to be" lyric tweet. Louis said that he will play "4 or 5 new songs in Madrid," one will be released before then, and the album will have "10, 12, 14" songs, "not decided just yet." We learned that the Madrid set will be televised, thank god, at some point we'll have HQ video of it. Jordan Green said the BTY video footage wasn't his which was weird but then he was like oh wait no it is! Lol. I take this to mean it's his footage but they didn't have him do the edit as he usually does. LTHQ posted a pic of Louis in studio featuring (well I say featuring, spotted with eagle eyes more like) a joint and a Winnie the Pooh mug; the cup features a stuffed bear on one side and a bee on the other.

In short, it's only day one (1) and already Louis' promo, again, looks to be absolutely on point, flawlessly coordinated, and so perfectly Louis: smart, interesting, a little mischievous, and catering to the best parts of a fandom they clearly know inside and out, rewarding our attention to detail and desire to make connections and decipher clues. I feel (mutually) respected and seen and fed and I absolutely LOVE IT. I cannot wait to see what comes next, it's going to be amazing...

AND other things happened today as well, can you believe? Harry, who was not in fact quite finished, followed the "Tina she's gay" fan (who was excited about their coming out story being featured in Rolling Stone, a privilege usually reserved for famous musicians), and HSHQ made an attempt to remind us that the gucci campaign is still a thing that exists by posting a pretty picture of Harry glowing in the afternoon light of the Italian countryside. More importantly we got an 'outtake' (??!?) from the RS shoot of him barefoot on a slippery ledge by the water in his fetching shorts suit and cropped sweater and feathered rich widow chapeau that's absolutely to die for.

The Liam charity drive reached goal well before his birthday (the 29th) and the man himself retweeted the announcement, adding "thank you so much this is truly amazing."

Live Lounge is coming soon and there's a TBA spot Sept 16 and everyone is eyeing it for their fave but no news yet, and the SNL new season is also coming soon and has performer slots open; Niall responded to a tweet about how nice it would be to see him on the Nov 2 SNL with "it would indeed." He also tweeted "what's your name," a Nice To Meet Ya tease one assumes, and, never one to like things by halves, gushed about the new Taylor Swift song, making TWO posts telling us it is "important," "a classic," and "will stand the test of time." "Thank you Niall!" Taylor posted. The Omega Masters ft Niall opens tomorrow, and he is there already, and met some happy fans and took pics.

[staytheb]

Foundation

Pairing: PTG’s Hui x OC [Sieun] Genre: slice of life, slight fluff, slight angst Word Count: 5,158 Summary: Sieun missed Hwitaek doing the little things in their relationship, but she suddenly founds that that it was built on a foundation of lies. Will Hwitaek be able to start a new slab or will the original foundation just stay put?

Warning: semi-proofread. lol some swear words.

hi again. this is another work, Little Things, re-done and felt that Hui fitted this piece. i think it’s also because of his enlistment, ptg first win, and the whole [we:th] album just making me feel some way to get this out lol although ofc it’s just a re-written piece. anyways, song was inspired by Stevie Hoang’s Little Things. again don’t know anything about others views on relationships and the likes, so this is just based on my own view and the song. but yeah, the title is meh once again, lol anyways, happy reading and kthxbai, Admin Lia~

Sieun patiently sat at the table for two at the restaurant her boyfriend, Hwitaek, had reserved for the both of them for her birthday several months prior. Still though with each passing minute she grew anxious as Hwitaek was already twenty minutes late. Sieun sent him a few text messages and even had tried calling him on several occasions, but the call went straight to voicemail. She knew her boyfriend was bad at replying back, but she figured that at least calling him would get a faster response. It didn't.

Sieun sighed as she avoided gazing around at the other patrons feeling slightly embarrassed of the thought that she may have gotten stood up. Her anxiousness grew with the thought that Hwitaek may have forgotten about their plans for tonight as the time continued to tick on by. Still, Sieun kept positive while thinking that Hwitaek was just buying her flowers or some other birthday gift that delayed his arrival. Even if it was beginning to become an hour of waiting now. Sieun sighed softly taking another sip of her melted ice water.

Sieun checked her phone for the nth time tonight, but still there was no response from her boyfriend. She slowly breathed in and out to calm her nerves and was just hoping that nothing had happened to him and that he was just running very super late now. Maybe he was buying her a lot of things to make up for it or something along those lines. These were the same words she told herself to reassure her anxious heart and mind. Being late was better than not showing up, right? Sieun trusted Hwitaek and wanted to continue to do so.

"Hello, ma'am."

The same waiter that tended to her since she came in had come to check in on her again for the fifth time tonight.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to order something while you continue to wait? Like another drink, perhaps?"

Sieun cast her a polite smile already deciding what to do.

"Um, I guess just more water and maybe an order of the snow crab to go, please?"

"Will do. Anything else for you, ma'am?"

"Oh, yes. A slice of carrot cake to go, too, please."

"Will do, ma'am. Your order will be with you shortly."

"Thank you so very much."

~~~~~~~~~~

Sieun had contacted one of Hwitaek's roommates, Jinho, upon returning to the university's campus. Jinho had informed her that Hwitaek has been at the music department working on a project for the past several hours. Sieun had thanked him and made her way over to see her boyfriend. She knew that Hwitaek was majoring in music and that the current project was a major deal for him to pass this semester. So if he couldn't celebrate her birthday at the restaurant, then Sieun was going to celebrate it with him in one of the music rooms.

Sieun thought that as long as she was spending time together with him, then that's all that really mattered to her in the end. Just like when it was his birthday a few weeks ago they couldn't celebrate it together just the two of them. It was mainly due to another school project he was busy with. Even though they did hang out some time after, but it was cut short due to his friends needing him for something. So when Sieun appeared outside of the music room that Jinho had informed her that Hwitaek would be in, she didn't expect her boyfriend to have company.

She spotted Hwitaek with his ex-girlfriend, Soojin, upon entering the room when she didn't receive a response when she had knocked on it. Sieun didn't mind that the two continued to hang out on campus or contacted one another as she trusted her boyfriend. Still though there was something inside of Sieun that irked her a tad bit when she witnessed how close they still were. Physically and socially although Sieun wasn't sure if this could be called a twinge of jealousy. Soojin and Hwitaek were going over some music sheets and hadn't noticed Sieun's presence yet.

"It's awesome, Hui! Thank you so much!"

Soojin exclaimed with glee as she threw her arms around Hwitaek in gratitude before releasing him.

"No worries, Cherry. You're welcome."

Hwitaek smiled at her while moving a few strands of Soojin's hair from out of her face and behind her ear.

"I'm glad to be of help."

Maybe it was jealousy after all as Sieun suddenly felt a small pang within her chest at the two using nicknames and the actions were displayed before her. Sieun couldn't remember the last time that Hwitaek had done that to her or even the last time that they'd shared simple gestures. As a matter of fact, Sieun couldn't remember if Hwitaek had ever called her name in such an affectionate manner like he had just called Soojin by her nickname. Since she and Hwitaek started dating the couple had always used their given names with one another. The last time she had let slip in calling her boyfriend 'Hwi', Hwitaek had given her a weird look and Sieun never had let that name slip out since.

"Alright, Hui, I think that's it for now. See you tomorrow again and at the same time?"

Soojin suggested to the male while putting her things away and standing up with Hwitaek doing the same.

"Yup. See you tomorrow at the same time, Cherry."

When the duo turned towards the door to leave they froze in their spot upon seeing Sieun standing there a bit awkwardly.

"Uh, hi." Sieun greeted with a small smile and wave. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"How long have you been standing there?" Hwitaek asked, suddenly feeling guilty for some reason he didn't know why.

"Oh, not that long." Sieun replied nonchalantly.

"Anyways, see you, Hui." Soojin bid Hwitaek a goodbye while walking passed Sieun with a polite smile. "Bye-bye, Sieun."

"Bye-bye, Soojin." Sieun bid the female goodbye with a polite smile as well.

She quickly turned her attention onto her boyfriend and softly made her way towards Hwitaek while placing the bag onto one of the tables when she neared him.

"Since you couldn't make it I thought we could have dinner here instead."

"Make it where?" Hwitaek asked with a confused face. "Was there something planned for today?"

Sieun paused in opening the large container filled with the snow crab inside and slowly cast her boyfriend a hurt look.

"Yeah, Hwitaek. You were the one that had planned it months ago. I tried calling and texting you, but you didn't reply back."

"Oh, about that. The battery died and I didn't have a charger on me to charge my phone. Sorry, Sieun." Hwitaek apologized in an indifferent tone while shrugging as he looked at her blankly. "I don't really remember what I planned tonight. Was it something important?"

Looking down at the food blankly, something within Sieun finally cracked as this conversation was similar to what they had prior to Hwitaek's birthday. It was like he stopped being a boyfriend and he seemed more distracted and acted like the two of them weren't even in a relationship. Or better yet, it seemed like Sieun realized that Hwitaek had stopped doing all the little things that she had appreciated in their relationship even before his birthday.

Sieun never cared for the expensive jewellery he would buy her saying that they were a girl's real best friend. Nor did she care for the fancy restaurant dates he took her out to just to impress her still. Sieun also didn't mind the constant large hang outs with his friends when it was just supposed to be the two of them on their date. Still though she honestly missed the other little things that Hwitaek used to do for her. Those special times that the two of them shared with just each other and away from everyone and everything else.

Like when he randomly buys her flowers to surprise her and tell her the meaning behind them that he learned from the florist. Or how he would call her beautiful every once in a while. Or when he would just casually hold her hand out of the blue or do things to simply put a smile on her face. Sieun missed the times when Hwitaek would call her in the early hours of morning or in the middle of the night to just hear her voice and talk about anything and everything. Thinking back on it all, Sieun wondered if she was someone that Hwitaek still needed in his life.

"When did you stop?" Sieun suddenly asked Hwitaek while continuing to stare at the food before her.

"Stop what?"

Hwitaek was still not aware of the situation that was happening between them. His attention apparently wasn't even on Sieun as it was instead on the music stand. Sieun sadly gazed up at him and elaborated her question.

"When did you stop doing all the little things in our relationship?"

Hwitaek swiftly glanced at Sieun and upon seeing his girlfriend's expression, he unconsciously swallowed down the lump that had somehow appeared within his throat.

"To be honest, Sieun, I really don't remember."

He admitted with a half-shrug and nonchalant manner not really thinking about his next words properly.

"I only did those things in the beginning because of the bet."

"Bet?"

Sieun cast Hwitaek a confused look before furrowing her eyebrows in thought and narrowing her eyes at her.

"What bet, Hwitaek?"

Hwitaek immediately froze upon revealing the truth and why he initially pursued Sieun in the first place. He avoided looking at her now and didn't continue on the topic.

"This is what your roommates and other friends discreetly meant, isn't it?"

Sieun scoffed a moment later after Hwitaek stayed quiet. Now everything made sense to her after hers and Hwitaek's two years of being in a relationship.

"All the times we hung out at those parties of your roommates and all of your friends wanted me to get drunk just so I could spill anything that was going on between us. All the times they would cast me weird looks whenever they ask personal questions about how far we've gone, what our relationship status was, and if there's been anything weird or unusual between us."

Sieun let out another scoff feeling heated at all this realization.

"All of their quiet giggles and laughter. All of their judging and sneak looks. All of it because they knew that our relationship was built on a foundation of lies, Hwitaek. Lies worth two years on your part, Hwitaek."

"C'mon, Sieun, that was just the beginning of our relationship. It's different now." Hwitaek reasoned while gazing up at her although he knew that it didn't sound all that convincing.

"The only difference now is that I now know the real reason you dated me, Hwitaek. A bet. A fucking bet for two fucking years of our relationship between me and you were filled with your dishonesty from the get-go. Why bother when you stopped being interested since you can't recall why you stopped doing the little things in the first place?"

"I don't know."

Hwitaek lamely answered, but had avoided all eye-contact with Sieun.

"Right, you don't know."

Sieun scoffed.

"Did you get a kick out of knowing that I honestly liked you, yet you couldn't even bother giving me just a small bit of it yourself?"

Sieun shot him a disgusted look.

"Was I just some play thing for you to mess around with after breaking up with Soojin? Or did you guys even break up in the first place? Was I just some side piece for you to have fun with out of boredom? A complete joke for yours and friends' entertainment? Is that why you've been forgetting all of our plans? Our anniversary? Your birthday? Even my birthday? Is she still the one you need instead, Hwitaek?"

"Stop, Sieun. Just stop. Don't be ridiculous." Hwitaek tried to reason as he rolled his eyes. "It's not even like that, okay?"

"I'm not being ridiculous, Hwitaek."

Sieun spat back with a huff before calming herself down and speaking again.

"Well, she's beautiful."

Sieun commented upon Soojin with no ill intentions to her words, but there was a sadness to her tone of voice now.

"I hope she makes you happy again because clearly I could never or ever."

She let out a slow breath upon saying her next set of words.

"The proof is still in the way you look at her that you never did at me and how you call her name. Even though we've dated for two years and you told me those same words and called my name, I never once felt beautiful or loved in your eyes and I now know why."

She cast him a sad smile.

"It was because whatever we had between us was built on a foundation of lies for those two years due to one of us. Goodbye, Hwitaek."

Sieun cast Hwitaek one final look void of emotions before turning around. Hwitaek watched Sieun leave with a heaviness in his heart that he couldn't quite explain. Once she exited the room he finally glanced down at the containers that Sieun had left behind. He tentatively lifted the lids to reveal one of his favorite foods and the other a slice of her favorite cake. He closed his eyes while groaning regretfully. Hwitaek just remembered that today was Sieun's birthday and they were supposed to celebrate it at the restaurant he reserved for the two of them.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sieun returned to her dorm that she shared with three other girls, Jina, Jihoon, and Seowoo, who were like close friends and sisters to her. So when one of them asked about her birthday celebration, they all grew concerned upon the blank expression on Sieun's face.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Jina asked as she pulled Sieun to sit on the couch beside her.

Seowoo took the spot next to her with Jihoon sitting beside her.

"Yeah, did Hwitaek not get you the most delicious carrot cake or what?" Jihoon mused before being scolded by Seowoo.

"It's not about food, Jihoon. It's something else."

"Then what could it be?"

Jina kneel in front of Sieun while taking her face into her hand to analyze Sieun's face better.

"You guys broke up, didn't you?"

The other two gasped while Sieun nodded absentmindedly.

"I'm not someone he needed. He never loved me. Our relationship was nothing, but lies." Sieun explained in a monotone voice although her eyes glazed over. "The little things I cherished the most meant nothing in the end."

And before the others could respond or offer words of comfort, Sieun burst into quiet sobs as she leaned towards Jina in comfort. Her friends enveloped her into their embrace to console their heartbroken friend quietly.

~~~~~~~~~~

Hwitaek returned back home and made his way to his room while unconsciously ignoring his roommates until Jinho stopped him just outside his room.

"Hey, did Sieun find you?" Jinho asked in a hushed tone.

"What?"

Hwitaek snapped out of his daze and stared at Jinho.

"What about Sieun?"

"Did she find you? She seemed worried when she stopped by here earlier."

"Yeah, she did."

Jinho cast his friend a worried look.

"Are you okay?  You seem distracted and out of it right now."

"We broke up."

"Wait, what? Y'all broke up?"

Hwitaek let out a breath as he ran a free hand through his hair as the other hand held the bag that Sieun had forgotten or not.

"Sieun broke up with me."

"I thought everything was going well between the two of you despite how everything first started out."

Jinho looked at his friend closely.

"No?"

"Yeah, well, it's my fault."

Hwitaek sighed.

"I honestly didn't think it would turn out like this, Jinho."

"Seriously? Your guys' relationship was built on a foundation of lies, Hwitaek."

Hwitaek laughed in disbelief upon hearing the familiar words again.

"Sieun said the same thing."

"Honestly, bro, I did warn you about going through with this bet in the first place. Sieun is a good person and genuinely liked you."

"I know, man, I know. I fucked up."

"Bet or no bet, Hwitaek, but would you have still dated Sieun? Do you even have some sort of feelings for her after dating for two years? Or was your breakup with Soojin still lingering in your mind all this time?"

Hwitaek took a moment to actually think about his feelings for Sieun as he weighed every memory and moment he had shared with her over the past two years after his breakup with Soojin. He did admit that he didn't really like Sieun like that at first. Sure he thought she was pretty cute despite not being exactly his type and different from Soojin, but as the days passed it changed bit by bit. Hwitaek actually got to know Sieun better and she was more than what he had initially thought of her as.

When Hwitaek had first met her, Sieun was awkward, shy, and a quiet person. Later by others he heard that she was also sweet, friendly, and reserved. Still, beyond that she was just so much more when he took the effort into getting to know her better. To Hwitaek he learned that Sieun was clumsy, weird, attentive, considerate, and thoughtful. She would fix his hair when it was out of place. Or mess it up when it was too perfectly in place. She would pack him meals when she had the free time and even make his favorites.

Sieun knew what words to say to him whenever he felt some type of way or a certain mood while working on his music related assignments or just about life in general. She would even massage his shoulders when he was stressed. Rubbed his back when he was upset. Or play with his hair when they hung out to have a lazy day. She even called him cute every now and then even though it caused him to become shy or fluster. Sometimes they held deep and meaningless conversations and it was never a bore talking to her. They could start several topics and go off on tangents, but they would still be able to finish them all and if not then the next day.

Her good morning and good night texts always brought a smile to his face and he would even look forward to them to find a way to respond to them with sincerity. The way Sieun's hand fit into his whenever they held hands. The way her smiles always made him smile knowing that she was happy and that itself would make him happy. Everything about her cheered him up instantly and would even brighten his day if he ever had a bad one. Sieun gave his life little things to appreciate upon the end of the day.

Hwitaek now realized that it was all the little things that made their relationship thrive and bloom into something beyond what it had initially started out as. The little things he tried so hard to learn and do to get Sieun to fall for him in the first place. The little things that he thought didn't really matter or mean anything in the end. All the times they used to share with each other were all the small things that Sieun needed the most. The small things that made her happy and appreciated because they were all shared and done with him.

It was the little things Sieun had asked him on why he stopped doing. Eventually, Hwitaek stopped doing them because he thought he didn't deserve her love. Didn't deserve Sieun herself with how he lied and she earnestly loved him wholeheartedly. It was why he began distancing himself as much as possible. So much that he began hanging out with Soojin again in hopes that the feelings for Sieun would dissipate on its own accord. Or that Sieun herself would slowly start to hate him and break it off instead. So then, when she finally did it didn't make him any happier with the end results. It left a real bittersweet taste in his mouth.

He blamed that stupid bet. He blamed his own stupid ass for even going through with it. A bet to show that he didn't need Soojin and that he could move on without falling back on her. To prove that he could be committed to another person for longer than a few months unless the other person broke it off and he would have won. A bet he realized too late was just honestly stupid and made no sense on his part. Hwitaek wondered how he could be that messed up in the head to play around with another person's feelings and only care for his own satisfaction without any consequences.

He shook his head thinking how he had manipulated Sieun's feelings for him to just prove that he could move on and away from Soojin. But then when the feelings became real for Sieun, he ended up going back to Soojin to let Sieun end it with him instead. He was so pathetic. He really was a jerk. What's the whole point of it all if a loving relationship between two people was built on a foundation of lies. So coming to a conclusion, Hwitaek realized that he did indeed need Sieun in his life and wanted to continue to be a part of hers until the end.

"Yo, Hwitaek?"

Jinho snapped his fingers in front of Hwitaek's face to get his attention as he's been calling his friend's name for quite some time.

"Hwitaek."

"Hmm?"

Hwitaek hummed coming back to his senses.

"What?"

"I thought I lost you there. You good?"

"Yeah, yeah. I just realized what I need to do."

"Good, because I was gonna comfort Sieun myself if you weren't gonna do it." Jinho mused as Hwitaek rolled his eyes.

"Haha, you're so not funny, but thanks, Jinho."

"Any time, but go."

"Oh, right."

Hwitaek turned around rushed out of his home with the other roommates calling out to him wondering where he was going while looking over at Jinho questioningly. Jinho shrugged, not giving them an answer as to let them not get involved and for Hwitaek to take care of what he needed to do.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sieun was currently distracting herself by putting all the things that Hwitaek had given her over the course of their relationship into grocery bags. So far she had filled up two and was working on her third one. Her friends had retired to their rooms after Sieun cried herself enough and reassured them that she was okay for the time being and just needed time for herself. So they left Sieun alone to do her own thing and heal in her own way for the time being.

Sieun's eyes caught sight of the heart-shaped necklace on her night stand that Hwitaek had given to her on Valentine's Day earlier this year. It was the first piece of jewellery she fell in love with as it wasn't one of those sparkly pieces that Hwitaek usually gifted her with. The necklace was a simple piece she had spotted at a flea market one day when the two were on a day date and had made a comment about it. When she returned to the stall to purchase it the next day it was gone. So when Hwitaek surprised her with it on Valentine's Day she cherished it since.

A few knocks sounded at the main door breaking Sieun from her thoughts. She quickly left her room to tend to the person at the door as she didn't want whoever it could be to disturb her friends' sleep or the neighbors. She looked through the peephole, but only saw some dark sea green balloons with black writing on them and a person obscurely hiding behind them. Sieun wasn't sure who it could be and was for sure not going to open the door just in case it was some random lunatic until she recognized the voice a moment later.

"It's, Hwitaek."

Hwitaek introduced himself and Sieun's breath hitched for a moment before returning back to normal. Hwitaek continued to speak realizing that him hiding behind a bunch of balloons would give off the wrong impression if viewed from the opposite side.

"May I speak with Sieun, please?"

Sieun psyched herself up to keep herself together before letting out a slow breath and eventually opened the door for Hwitaek. Before she could say something Hwitaek automatically handed the bouquet of balloons one by one as she read out loud what he wrote.

"I'm sorry. I'm an idiot. Please forgive me."

She looked over at an apologetic Hwitaek and felt touched, but she wasn't going to forgive him that easily.

"Just because you apologize with my favorite color do-"

She was interrupted when Hwitaek produced a bouquet of three colored camellias from somewhere and presented them to her. Sieun stared at her favorite flowers which symbolized faithfulness and longevity as one meaning. White were given to someone who's well-liked in adoration. Pink symbolized a longing for someone who's missed while red meant desire and passion. Sieun realized that Hwitaek wanted to continue their romantic love for one another, yet she didn't want to be persuaded so easily.

"Thank you for the lovely flowers, Hwitaek."

Sieun tenderly took the bouquet in her free hand as the other was occupied with the strings of the balloons.

"But it's st-"

She was once again interrupted when Hwitaek presented the bag from the restaurant she had left from earlier.

"I know it doesn't make up for everything I've done, but I know that it meant a lot to you since you even got me my favorite food."

Hwitaek offered her the bag and Sieun took it into her left hand, already holding the balloon bouquet. Before she could comment on it Hwitaek had somehow held up a Samoyed a moment later and she wondered where he had gotten the dog from as she didn't even hear it or know that it was close by.

"Aww, you're beautiful." Sieun cooed while petting the dog's face after having placed the bouquet into the crook of her left arm and running a hand through his fur.

"I hope he makes you happy," Hwitaek commented with a small smile upon seeing the lovely expression on Sieun's face, "Even though I would like to be the one that could do that for you again if you'd let me, Eun."

Sieun frowned upon hearing how he had called her with a shorter form of her name.

"Did you just call me, Eun?"

"Um, yeah."

"Why?"

"I thought we could grow closer."

"But you gave me a weird look when I called you 'Hwi' three months after we started dating."

"Oh. Well..."

Hwitaek grew shy.

"I didn't know how to respond back."

"You could've just called me 'Eun' then."

"I panicked."

Hwitaek admitted as he cast her a sheepish gaze.

"I came to like you more as each day passed, but because it started out as a bet and you being so pure of love and affection it scared me. Then the little things started popping up over time and I didn't know what to do."

"Then what are you doing here now, Hwitaek?" Sieun asked him with a tired sigh. "Did you lose your bet and now you're re-doing it?"

"No, Sieun. None of this has nothing to do with the bet. I realized that I need you in my life and that you're the one I've grown to like these past two years. I want to continue my life with you a part of it and me a part of yours." Hwitaek confessed.

There was a pause before Hwitaek spoke again with a firmer tone.

"And the way I look at Soojin isn't proof that I still like her more than you, Sieun. You don't see the moments of how when I look at you, my mind immediately freezes and I forget how to breathe or function. I go numb and stupid. I get tongue-tied when I talk about you with the other guys and protective when they start teasing me about you."

Sieun didn't know how to respond or react to his confession. She also didn't miss the way his facial features softened and became shy.

"When I look at you, Sieun, I see this blank canvas that I eventually want to fill up with you by my side. Maybe a little place of our own with a dog and me coming home to your delicious meal. Or you visiting me at my studio and listening to a song that I'm composing while thinking of you. It's endless possibilities, but I always see you by my side in those possibilities."

Sieun held up her right hand to stop Hwitaek from talking.

"Okay, like that's cool and all, but you're speaking of a future that's still in the way of the future, Hwitaek."

She shot him an incredulous look.

"I'm still trying to pass my statistics class this semester to which I still don't think I need for my major, but whatever."

"I still mean what I say, Sieun. I want to make right what I have wronged and if I need to spend the rest of my life to do that, then I will."

Sieun shot him a small smile.

"Okay, Hwitaek. We can start again, but you're on probation."

Hwitaek's jaws dropped as he almost dropped the Samoyed.

"For how long?"

"Until you returned Crayon here back to his owner at LovelyDog's Cafe & Shop."

"Wait. How did you know?"

"Seowoo's dating someone that works there and she would dog sit Crayon here from time to time."

"Oh, then we can adopt our own and name it later."

"Alright, just wait a moment."

She held up the same hand and gave him a look.

"How about we start slowly again. We can have a date after Chuseok."

"That long?"

"Yes. If you can wait that long, then I can accept that you're serious and I can learn to start trusting you again."

Hwitaek nodded eagerly.

"Okay, okay. I am serious and trusting is all about building that foundation without lies."

Then frowned.

"What about your birthday?"

"I still have next year to celebrate it with you."

"Okay, but..."

"But, what?"

"I promised the owner that I would dog sit Crayon here for the night. Do you wanna help me take care of him?"

Sieun rolled her eyes, but a smile was evident on her face as she stepped back and invited Hwitaek and Crayon inside.

"Sure. We can even have a late dinner. Our foundation has to start somewhere."

[lucindarobinsonvevo]

This week, a record made and released by close collaborators Eerie, Indiana and Heart on a Chain received a re-release with a deluxe edition to celebrate its 20th birthday 

Though the front cover of Marshall’s Theory of Believably, the joint album by bands Eerie, Indiana and Heart on a Chain names only those two bands, the project was a collaboration between all the members of the Indiana seven. The Indiana Seven were a close group of collaborators who had a close working relationship in the 90s, creating iconic tracks and albums. The cover, which depicts a lone man in a ghost costume was shot by Sara Sue, an artist/photographer who shot most of the Eerie, Indiana’s album covers, and a track labeled ‘we gave this track to Tod’ features the enigmatic artist known as Tod, who also helped on the band’s delayed record Broken Record. The album art is different from the works of both bands, with Eerie, Indiana frequently having a sort of DIY feel to their photoshoots and Heart on a Chain tending to the more abstract kind. These particular photos (remastered for the deluxe edition) depict various band members in the dessert wearing a sheet over their heads with large black eye holes. The cover is Holmes, peering from behind a large unlit bonfire at the viewer. The title is written in the handwriting of Janet Donner, who also features as the figure on the CD itself. Teller features on the back of the album, and the back page of the liner notes, waving goodbye. Inside the liner, there are images of X, with Monroe being absent, apparently due to having a broken leg at the time of the shoot following an incident at a waterpark.

The album features twelve tracks, with many of them focusing on the idea of cryptids and other mysterious entities to make up the metaphors of the song. On the idea for the Album, Donner said: We wanted to talk about love as we knew it. This broad, mysterious concept that so many people in their twenties make love out to be.” On what she thinks of love now, Donner then remarked: Love is being glad the world hasn’t ended yet. I’ll leave you to make of that what you will. On the album, both X and Teller have cited the other as an inspiration behind the tracks, which will not come as a surprise to anyone who frequently listens to Eerie, Indiana as the pairs sometimes tumultuous relationship is often at the center of the most controversial and interesting projects done by the band. But this album is, more than anything else, a happy one. 

The first single released from this album was the track ‘Sometimes I Almost Miss You’ in the one-two punch style of Eerie, Indiana the track is titled like a break-up but is a love song. Over an energetic guitar track and drum machine, Monroe sings about the heart transplant she’d had some years before and how she believes that she can still feel the donor even though he’s (according to the lyrics) long gone and sweetly resting. The track is careful to avoid any religious implications, instead suggesting that the donor (who has since been identified as Devon Wilde) instead rests inside her chest. With X on the guitar and Holmes on the drum machine and (of all things) the triangle, Teller is free to singe verses from the perspective of the heart donor, viewing the world from inside Monroe’s chest while Donner provides very beautiful backing harmonies. The overall mood of the track is one of quiet love and happiness, as well as gratefulness to the young boy who gave her the second chance. Those familiar with the work of Heart on a Chain know that the transplant features heavily in their songs and it’s no surprise to see it here. 

The second track released in the work was ‘Me and My Jackalope’ and fueled rumors about a relationship between Teller and his bandmate, Dash X. At the time, both were closeted at the request of the label to avoid scandal. “Being in the closest literally almost killed me.” Teller would reflect later, interviewing for a project he did, releasing tracks for an LGBT themed album in the 2000s.”The funny thing is, I don’t think anyone who listened to us gave a damn. We’d go on stage, and we used to stand so close our knuckles were almost touching getting up in each other’s face and people would just go crazy.” Me and My Jackalope is, as you may have guessed, a song about impossible love. A love that the singer, in this case, mostly Teller, keeps hidden under his bed, only bringing it out to play when he’s alone. It’s a slow, sad track with Teller crooning to his animal “If they saw you, then they’d send you away.” Both Holmes and Monroe are credited as writers on the track, with the usual Eerie, Indiana flavor of complicated guitar playing set aside in favor of Donner and a violin and Holmes playing an assortment of other instruments. 

The third and final promotional single was meant to be Skylines, which lyrics from are also featured on the inside booklet of the album however at the last minute it was swapped out to the Meatloaf cover in the center of the album, Midnight at the Lost and Found due to ‘label meddling’ after it was decided they needed another upbeat track after Me and my Jackalope. The track is nothing special, a seemingly typical Eerie, Indiana cover. Eerie, Indiana frequently covered Meatloaf and Jim Stienman tracks, hoping to work with one or the other someday. Sadly, this collaboration never came to be. But it’s a fun song, much like the original version from the 1983 album by Meatloaf. Somewhat of a deep cut by today’s standards, but it’s fun. Which I think was probably the mission statement of this album if Dash X is to be believed (Yes, that’s his stage name, no I do not know his real name). ‘We were a bunch of 20 something friends given a studio and a year or two to do whatever we wanted. So we did whatever we wanted, which was being weird.’ 

Skylines and it’s reprise is a group effort, with every member of the group joining in with the writing process to produce something that could have gone astray but managed to come together into something coherent. Skylines covers the re-treaded ground of many bands, it’s a song set about missing people while on tour. Set against New York’s bright, iconic skyline the track is mostly led by Donner as she wonders what her lover is doing right now. Her lover, played by Teller wonders about if his lover will stay in New York, swept up by the bright skylines, and pleading for them to simply be theirs. The track has backing vocals from all of the members involved, including Holmes who mostly shies away from singing parts. ‘It’s not that I don’t love to sing.” He explains, “I’m just not very good at it. Marshall was always the singer, I’m much happier playing the drums, or a cello or something.” 

The final track on the album, clocking in at nine minutes, is Cryptids (I Still Believe in You and Me). This track shows off the impressive guitar skills of Teller and X, this time paired with the violin playing from Donner who shows she can keep up with the boys by playing speedy, intense sections with precision. This Dash X penned track also has extensive work by Holmes on the drums and a solo from a very jazz saxophone in the third act. Ultimately, the song doesn’t quite come together, feeling disjointed and a little over-complicated. But...Maybe that’s how it’s meant to feel. Dash was never brought into Eerie, Indiana as a writer, he was brought on to foil with Marshall on stage and because he was the only person the label could find that could play the punishingly difficult riffs Teller produces. On his Instagram speaking about pride X has suggested that a lot of his music was changed during production because it was too overtly about men, while Donner and Teller both proficiently changed pronouns in there songs, or stuck to calling their love interests you. 

The album has three tracks that feel like filler, the intermission track which is not unusual on the cinematic, large scale Eerie, Indiana albums, a seemingly ‘story’ track called ‘Lost in Time’ which is a piece of Holmes poetry performed by Donner and an odd little track called ‘We Gave This One To Tod’ While the enigmatic Tod was often credited on Eerie, Indiana albums and opened for them at live shows he never quite reached the level of recognition his peers did. However, seeing the bizarre and experimental nature of his work, and his goth and punk leanings I think it’s safe to assume he was happier underground than his friends were blinded by the lights of showbiz. This piece features heavy synths and a drum machine. It doesn’t hit for me, but perhaps for a fan of Tod, it could be a holy grail. 

On this version of the album, known as the deluxe edition, we’re given three additional tracks. A demo version of Elvis and the Mothman, which is lyrically the same slowed all the way down with the shouting chorus replaced with a mouth against the mic crooner style. The released, upbeat anthem style track is a far better fit for the album. Baba Yaga in Heels is a Heart on a Chain only track, perhaps why it was discarded. It features a techno style dance beat, with the lyrics being about a night out with Baba Yaga, a Banshee, and a harpy. Ultimately, the lyrics are not that impactful but they don’t need to be. The final listed track is a cover of Meatloaf’s Bat out of Hell, which lyrically and sonically is almost identical to the original. 

Overall, what Marshall’s theory of Believability tries to do is ambitious. It’s an album between two experiential groups of friends trying to make something that they enjoy. But it’s not the best work of either group, which is a shame because it could have been something very special if they were given a little more time to work out some of the kinks and if they pruned some of the tracks that are superfluous to the story of the album. I’m happy to have a copy in my collection, but honestly, I’d rather listen to something the group produced independently anyway. 

[maydaymemer]

Steam vs. Sledgehammer

Yep it’s time to review two songs in one. My favourite song ever: Steam (yes, Steam), as well as one of the iconic songs of the ‘80s: Sledgehammer. Both by Peter Gabriel, both heavily influenced by funk and both with music videos directed by the late Stephen R. Johnson.

Sledgehammer needs no introduction for anyone over 40, which means it does need an introduction here. The song is the lead single from Peter Gabriel’s 1986 pop opus “So”, and is his only American #1 (it only got to #4 in the UK, which makes me more ashamed to be from here than ever). It’s known for its pioneering stop-motion animated music video which is still well regarded today, heck it kickstarted Aardman’s career before they made Wallace and Gromit. The song is a loving tribute to Gabriel’s favourite funk and Motown songs he listened to in his youth, there’s even a funny anecodote a read about Gabriel in his early days going to a soul cafe or something and being the only white guy there. To be a fly on the wall on that day. Methinks he was there to pick up chicks, not just listen to the music, which only makes me love the guy even more to be honest.

Steam on the other hand I don’t think anyone who isn’t a Gabriel fan remembers. Sure, when it was released in 1992 it was a hit but was generally seen as a Sledgehammer II: Sledge Harder, and didn’t set anyone’s world alight. Plus, people weren’t listening to Peter Gabriel in ‘92, they were bumping Nirvana and Tupac. On the bright side we did get a fucking insane music video which I love showing to people to get a reaction out of them.

One of them highly acclaimed and the other mostly maligned, but both are typically overshadowed by their music videos. I’m here to dig into what makes both these songs great, and why they’re both intelligent, finely crafted pop songs. I’m also going to note the similarities between the two, and why I think Steam was a more than worthy follow up.

Let’s get down to the start of both songs. Sledgehammer begins with a synthesised flute that goes on for about 15 seconds, before launching into an opening tune that knocks you right off your seat like, well a sledgehammer. This sets up an appropriate atmosphere for a song that combines the clever soul with the sexy sounds of the ‘80s to create a song that transcends past dated into just a banging tune that holds up today. The song has an excellent bassline and feels simply big. Then we get Gabriel coming in with a prolonged “Heeeeeeey” followed up with a more muffled “tell me how have you been?” to take us into the first verse. The song sets a mood and it sets it well, this is bouncy and fun Peter Gabriel, not weird psycho Peter Gabriel (which is pretty much his default).

Steam, on the other hand, doesn’t introduce itself. The song just abruptly bursts into your door after a short bassline with the distinct drum and bassline with all sorts of sounds flung at you. Horns, electric guitar, you name it. Gabriel yells “Stand back! Stand back!” And you almost think “yeah maybe I should I shouldn’t really argue with Peter Gabriel”, especially in the video where he’s wearing a pimp suit to accompany this. He continues, shouting “what are these dogs doing sniffing at my feet? / They’re onto something picking up / picking up / this heat”. I still have no idea what this intro means, but then we transition into the abolsutely magnificent instrumented chorus as Peter sings “Give me Steam / and how you feel can make it real / real as anything you’ve seen / get a life / with the dreamer’s dream”. I’ve heard reviewers call this song overproduced, and I would agree the song is very maximal in terms of production, but I wouldn’t remove one instrument. The song’s various mood changes from chorus to verse to pre-and-post choruses take me where the song wants me to go emotionally every time. I find the “Give me Steam” part specifically to be rather exciting and really impressed me the first time I listened to this song, last year I believe, and it still impresses me now.

This is where we take a look at the verse structure of both songs, which are pretty much the same not just within the songs but between them. The first verses of both set up two metaphors:

“You could have a steam train / if you just lay down your tracks

You could have an aeroplane flying / if you bring your blue sky back” - From Sledgehammer

“You know your culture from your trash

You know your plastic from your cash” - From Steam

Peter then connects these to the message of the song at the end of the verse:

“All you do is call me

I’ll be anything you need” - Sledge

“Whenever heavens doors are shut / you get* them open but / I know you” - Steam (alright I’m cheating here, that’s three metaphors, but this illustrates my point better)

So as you can see this is where the two songs split off. Sure both include Peter’s patented silly sex puns, a Sledgehammer is long and hard while Steam is hot and wet, but the meanings of each song is different.

For Sledgehammer the song is about how sex can be used to communicate and brighten up the mood of someone where words simply can’t help. The philosophy of the song is that sometimes you just need some fuck. I imagine a narrative where maybe Peter and this lady friend he’s talking to through the song have just broken off some long term relationship, and they’re very good friends so they spend some time together playing with her bumper cars and his big dipper to take their minds off it. The song isn’t really about love, it’s about having fun, but as I illustrated with my interpretation it’s not about sex with someone you don’t love it’s about sex with someone you’re not IN love with. So kind of a FWB/rebound kind of thing, though not a romcom version where they get together in the third act. It’s a very different approach to an ‘Intercourse with You’ song and told in a very fun way. The song has a bounce to it and a sort of mature naivety, Peter comes across as genuinely joyful to the woman he’s narrating too, they aren’t using eachother but they’re not in a serious relationship either. Good stuff, Pete.

Steam on the other hand is about the relationship, it’s about that spark and connection with someone. Specifically it’s about a relationship where the woman is cultured, sophisticated and generally a classy lady but Peter isn’t. He’s talking himself down, except for one subject: when it comes to the lady, he knows her better than she does and that’s the most important thing of all. Maybe he knows how to please her, maybe he knows her deepest depths, maybe it’s both but the songwriting illustrates that Peter is just in awe of this woman and she might not be in awe of herself just yet. I always interpreted this as Peter writing about a relationship between classes, but in a smarter way than say Billy Joel. Peter grew up middle class but in this song it’s like he’s putting himself in the shoes of a working class guy who’s in a relationship with someone who should be out of his league, but perhaps because of those virtues have led to him knowing how to socialise he can get the depths of her heart better jan a thousand potential rich suitors and their relationship just works. I’m being a bit old school with the picture I’m painting but a genuinely smart way of basically writing Opposites Attract but without the cartoon cat (instead we get a CGI Peter Gabriel Chair, perhaps that’s not the best trade off). That’s why I love it so much, it writes a geniunely smart love song about a relationship working despite the differences which a lot of songs do but they never go into why they work together. Peter explains that while he can’t know a lot about art or money he does know a lot about humanity (and sex, as Sledge shows).

The rest of the verses follow this same formula, I’ll close the review by pointing out how the finales of both songs basically are the same again.

With the finale of Sledgehammer Gabriel refers to “shedding his skin”. He then says “this is the new stuff”, which probably sounds like a birthday suit reference to you but I have a more indirect interpretation. What I love about the line is that in a way it’s Gabriel saying “I’m the shit!”, predicting that the song will become ‘the new stuff’ as it did. Which is why it’s one of the things I do prefer over Steam, which goes for a more obvious orgasm innuendo:

“Roomshake, earthquake

Find a way to stay awake

It’s gonna blow, it’s gonna break

This is more than I can take!”

Tho back to praising Steam, it is my favourite song after all, I think that song does pace itself better. Steam is a minute longer and has way more variety, with a lot of change ups with an occasional pre-chorus peppered in. It’s a longer song that feels shorter and endlessly replayable. Granted a listen to both of these songs an unhealthy amount of times, so I wouldn’t recommend any of you reading this skip out on them. Listen to them however you can, they’re a great time. Heck, buy the albums they come from because the rest of the songs on there are great too.

Thanks for reading this review. It’s a very quick one drafter of hopefully many that I’m posting to sharpen my writing skills. Hope you enjoyed and I’ll make sure to improve these over time. I have ideas for little bite size and more cohesive reviews of the following songs: Uh Huh, Girl, Babooshka

*note: thought he sung “kick” but apparently not. Personally I think “kick” has a better kick to it, funny enough, in terms of annunciation.

[landofgay]

Quarantine q&a

tagged by @shitmilkparasites Are you staying home from work/school? i was already unemployed so, technically no? i was already at home lmao If you’re staying home, who’s there with you My dad, who i get along with really well, and my oma, who i do... not lmao. and the cat Are you a homebody? lmao yeah. i didnt have any friends here anyways and didnt have school or work, the only change now is everyones home all the time and i cant go see my mom What movies have you watched recently? Me and my dad have been watching a Ton of movies, most recently we watched jojo rabbit and napoleon dynamite tonight What shows are you watching? i just finished feel good on netflix, that was good. im making my way thru steven universe futute for the first time as well lol. otherwise nothing really? which is weird for me An event that you were looking forward to that got cancelled? Vancouver 4/20 i guess, altho i had already been planning on having to skip it but still... and its not really an “event” but its my moms birthday today and i cant even go see her which is. sucking :^) What music are you listening to? Im in a weird place musically and have been for awhile... someones gotta release something new soon before i go nuts. anyways ive been listening to a genre apparently called “grunge revival” and idk about that but i definitely like it lmao. i also listened to the one hanson brothers album on spotify quite a bit lmao. I also recently started listening to lofi music while i sleep and i think it helps? What are you reading? haha uhhhhhh nothing? im TRYING but ya know. JKGHDJFKl. i have on the road checked out as an ebook so i wanna read that, and i have naked lunch on hold lmao What are you doing for self-care?

crafts and videogames! i have a dollhouse room kit im working on, which only makes me go insane sometimes, and i painted my mom a birthday card, and i still have lots of cross stitch projects i can work on lol. and for videogames, i just got a shit ton for steam but ive mostly been playing animal crossing and la noire lol I tag anyone whos bored again.... fhgjkhdfjk

[thecoleopterawithana]

Coming Up

This McCartney II (1980) hit single, extremely popular on both sides of the Atlantic, was recorded during the summer of 1979, in circumstances eerily similar to the creation of the first McCartney (1970). 

In a show of the cyclic nature of life and karma that John Lennon would no doubt appreciate, Paul retires once again to his farms to escape the tensions of a crumbling band, focusing on the wonders of music and testing how he could stretch on his own. 

And from his exploration and experimentation emerged an exciting new song.

I originally cut it on my farm in Scotland. I went into the studio each day and just started with a drum track. Then I built it up bit by bit without any idea of how the song was going to turn out. After laying down the drum track, I added guitars and bass, building up the backing track. I did a little version with just me as the nutty professor, doing everything and getting into my own world like a laboratory. The absent-minded professor is what I go like when I'm doing those; you get so into yourself it's weird, crazy. But I liked it.

Then I thought, 'Well, OK, what am I going to do for the voice?' I was working with a vari-speed machine with which you can speed up your voice, or take it down a little bit. That's how the voice sound came about. It's been speeded up slightly and put through an echo machine I was playing around with. I got into all sorts of tricks, and I can't remember how I did half of them, because I was just throwing them all in and anything that sounded good, I kept. And anything I didn't like, I just wiped.

– Paul McCartney, interviewed by Paul Gambaccini for Rolling Stone (26 June 1980).

It was released as a single on April 1980, with a live version recorded in Glasgow, Scotland, during Wings UK tour (17 December 1980), as the first song in the b-side. The latter became the more popular version in America.

I always thought the single was going to be the solo version. We did the song on tour because we wanted to do something the audience hadn't heard before. The live version on the b-side of the single was recorded on the last night of the tour in Glasgow. In America, a lot of the disc jockeys on the top 40 stations picked up on this side and so it became the a-side in the States. It's the b-side in the rest in the world. 

– Paul McCartney, interviewed by Paul Gambaccini for Rolling Stone (26 June 1980). 

And thanks to all these DJs, one merry day, the letter reached “his brother across the sea”.

Lennon was being driven by Fred Seaman through Cold Spring Harbor, Long Island, when he first heard ‘Coming Up’ on the radio. ‘Fuck a pig, it’s Paul,’ he exclaimed, before turning up the volume and nodding along. 'Not bad,’ he decided at the song’s conclusion.

He asked Seaman to buy him a copy of McCartney II and set up a new stereo system in his bedroom specifically so he could listen to it.

The next day, 'Coming Up’ was still rattling around John’s head. 'It’s driving me crackers,’ he told Seaman, before venturing the opinion that even if its parent album was patchy, at least Paul was back trying to do something eclectic and experimental.

– In Man On The Run: Paul McCartney In The 1970s, by Tom Doyle (2013).  

After, when talking to the press, John tried to curb his enthusiasm and come off as unaffected, in that usual way of his.

Somebody asked me what I thought of Paul’s last album and I made some remark like, I thought he was depressed and sad. But then I realized I hadn’t listened to the whole damn thing. I heard one track – the hit “Coming Up,” which I thought was a good piece of work. Then I heard something else that sounded like he was depressed. But I don’t follow their work. I don’t follow Wings, you know. I don’t give a shit what Wings is doing.

–  John Lennon, interviewed by David Sheff for Playboy (September 1980).  

But later, on the day after his birthday, John reiterates his passion for the song and aligns with Paul, not only on his choice of preferred version (solo VS Wings), but he also shares Paul’s frustration with the US single swap.

John: Well, he had a single – it’s on the radio, out here – and I thought that ‘Coming Up’ was great! But I liked the freak version that he made in his barn [more] than that live Glasgow one, you see. I’m – yeah. Hilburn: The one that’s on the album. The one with the speeded up voices? John: Yeah, I think that’s – if I’d been with him, I would have said, “Yes, that’s the one,” too, and I thought that the record company had the nerve changing it round on him. But you know, I know what they mean, they want to hear the real guy singing, but I like the freaky one. Stevie Wonder does it, nobody moans at him. 

– John Lennon in talks with LA Times writer Robert Hilburn. October 10th, 1980 (Hit Factory, New York).

In fact, this song was so impactful for John, that it shook him out of his five-year hiatus, prompting him to get back in the studio and record Double Fantasy. This was something that Paul, in turn, greatly appreciated.

TV GUIDE: At the time of Wings, how competitive were you with your former Beatles band mates?

PAUL: Really competitive. I don’t think any of us would have ever admitted it. I know we would listen to what each other was doing and [think], “Oh, my God, that’s good.” I know for a fact John did once with [my] song ‘Coming Up’. It was on a documentary, I think, about John, where his recording manager at the time said John listened to it and went, “Oh, I’ll have to go back to work.” I found that a very nice fact that I egged John into doing something.

– Paul McCartney, interviewed by Lisa Bernhard and Steven Reddicliffe for TV Guide: Listen to what the man says (May 1st, 2001).

And again, some years later, he reemphasises.

Apparently John heard it when he was in New York. I saw a John documentary and somebody was saying, ‘I brought this record of Paul’s to John and played it for him.’ John went, 'Oh fuckin’ hell, the bastard’s done something good! I’ve gotta work!' I love the idea of forcing him up off his arse.

– Paul McCartney, in Conversations with McCartney by Paul du Noyer (2015).

And Paul had every reason to be elated by this development. After all, it meant that the message had gotten across the sea, was received and taken to heart by its addressee. 

So what did the letter say, exactly? Well, let’s look into it, shall we?

You want a love to last forever / One that will never fade away / I want to help you with your problem / Stick around, I say

Coming up / Coming up, yeah / Coming up like a flower /Coming up, I say

You want a friend you can rely on / One who will never fade away / And if you're searching for an answer / Stick around, I say

Coming up / Coming up / Coming up like a flower / Coming up, yeah

You want some peace and understanding / So everybody can be free / I know that we can get together / We can make it, stick with me

It's coming up / Coming up / Coming up like a flower / Coming up for you and me

Coming up / Coming up, I say / Coming up like a flower / Coming up, I feel it in my bones / Yeah, yeah yeah yeah

You want a better kind of future / One that everyone can share / You're not alone, we all could use it / Stick around, we're nearly there

Coming up / Coming up everywhere / Coming up like a flower / Coming up for all to share

Coming up, yeah / Coming up, anyway / Coming up like a flower / Coming up

The phrase ‘Coming up’ is used in two ways here:

Coming up like a flower  [as in literally rising out of the ground]

The choice in metaphor could be attributed to the sentiment of renewal, of rebirth, of something Starting Over. 

But besides the more lyrical interpretation, the term ‘flower’ here couldn’t be accidental, as it makes a common appearance in John’s idea of love.  

Q: As Tom Robbins half-facetiously asks in his most recent book, “How do you make love stay?”

John: Trying to possess it makes it go away. Trying to possess somebody makes them go away. Every time you put your finger on it, it slips away. Every time you turn the microscope’s light on, the thing changes so you can never see what it is. As soon as you ask the question, it goes away. Peripheral vision is what it is. There’s no looking directly at it. Try to look at the sun. You go blind, right? Now that doesn’t mean you don’t have to work on it. Love is a flower and you have to water it.

Yoko: Yes. I think that love will never die. Once you know somebody, you can never unknow that person. And knowing is loving. So you can never get out of love. There might be misunderstandings and separating for other reasons, but love is always there. Staying together is just one form of love. Maybe that’s a strong love and expression of love. But love is a soul thing. It always stays there. 

— John Lennon and Yoko Ono, interview w/ David Sheff for Playboy. (September, 1980)

John’s philosophy and choice in words seem to be heavily inspired by the D. H. Lawrence poem ‘Mess Of Love’.

We've made a great mess of love Since we made an ideal of it. The moment I swear to love a woman, a certain woman, all my life That moment I begin to hate her.

The moment I even say to a woman: I love you! --- My love dies down considerably.

The moment love is an understood thing between us, we are sure of it, It's a cold egg, it isn't love any more.

Love is like a flower, it must flower and fade; If it doesn't fade, it is not a flower, It's either an artificial rag blossom, or an immortelle, for the cemetery.

The moment the mind interferes with love, or the will fixes on it, Or the personality assumes it as an attribute, or the ego takes possession of it, It is not love any more, it's just a mess. And we've made a great mess of love, mind-perverted, will-perverted, ego-perverted love. 

In fact, it is not the first time D. H. Lawrence has been referenced in Beatle company. On 23 January 1969, as the band finishes up the day’s sessions in Apple Studios, a visiting Robert Fraser teases Paul about his looks. [Head to the link for self-explaining footage].

Robert: Ah, you look like a Victorian miner now, you know. [Paul laughs]

Paul: Aye.

Robert: A D.H. Lawrence. 

Paul: Well, I can’t afford to mess around here, you know. No.

John: [camp affect] Mess me up baby, in my red-hot fire.

Paul: I’m a golden garter. 

The Victorian miner here could be referring to a young love in D. H. Lawerence’s life:

I believe the nearest I've come to perfect love was with a young coal-miner when I was about 16.  

– D. H. Lawerence, as quoted in My Life and Times, Octave Five, 1918–1923 by Compton MacKenzie.

It’s unclear if John knew of the poet before this exchange, but some months later he was well acquainted with his work.

Love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard, or just think it's gonna get on with itself. You gotta keep watering it. You've got to really look after it, and be careful of it, and keep the flies off and see that it's alright, and nurture it. 

– John Lennon, 'Man of the Decade' Interview (2 December 1969).

And if we want to go further down the rabbit hole, one only has to look at how John and Paul talk about plants to understand what went wrong in the relationship.

When we are in Scotland we plant stuff -- vegetables -- and we'll leave them there, and of their own volition they will push up. And not only will they push up and grow into something, but then they will be good to eat. To me that's an all-time thing. That's fantastic. How clever! Just that things push their own way up and they feed you. 

– Paul McCartney, interviewed for Life Magazine (16 April 1971).  

Because if one the one hand we have 69 John’s view of ‘love is delicate and fragile and has to be carefully taken care of, it has to be nurtured, and inattention and dismissal will make it wither and die’, on the other hand we have Paul’s 71 revelation of ‘wow, I never knew that love could just grow on its own, that it could just naturally push up without your coaxing and continuous care, and on top of that it feeds you, it gives you something instead of just taking!’

(But I’m probably reading too much into that, in spite of it being eerily fitting...). 

But then, we have,

It’s Coming Up [as in something drawing near or approaching, like a... birthday]

There was indeed a special birthday coming up the year this song hit the airwaves. On October 9th, 1980, John Lennon turned 40. And forty seemed to be a relevant age for John and Paul. 

When asked in 1963 what they’d do when the bubble burst, Paul answered:

We’ve thought about it, and probably the thing John and I will do is write songs as we have been doing as a sort of sideline now. We’d probably develop that a bit more, we hope. Who knows, at forty we might not know how to write songs any more.

– Paul McCartney, interviewed for BBC’s ‘Mersey Sound’ (1963).

And John, a couple of years later, in 1965, during a press conference in San Francisco:

If we're still alive, we’ll come back when we're forty and look at the places that looked interesting.

Add to that the Beatles bursting simultaneously, on two separate occasions, into the chorus of ‘The Old Dutch’ song:

We've been together now for forty years!  

And how could we forget John’s wonderful exchange with himself:

Q. I’m sorry. Just a few more questions MR. LENNON, I’m sure you understand I have a deadline… my editor… etc..

A. Alright then, GET ON WITH IT!

Q. Have you ever fucked a guy?

A. Not yet, I thought I’d save it til I was 40, life begins at 40 you know, tho I never noticed it.

Q. It is trendy to be bisexual and you’re usually ‘keeping up with the Jones’, haven’t you ever… there was talk about you and PAUL…

A. Oh, I thought it was about me and Brian Epstein… anyway I’m saving all the juice for my own version of THE REAL FAB FOUR BEATLES STORY etc.. etc..

Q. It seems like you’re saving quite a lot for when you’re 40..

A. Yes, there might be nothing better to do, tho I don’t believe it.

– John Lennon, interviewed by himself for Andy Warhol’s Interview Magazine (November 1974).

Paul himself repeats the saying much later in life:

Q: When did you start [painting] in a regular way? 

Paul: When I was forty, somebody said: “Life begins at forty,” so I took them literally and instead of taking it as just a symbolic idea of a time to start something, I really wanted something to start. 

– Paul McCartney, in Paul McCartney: Paintings (1999).

John Lennon is also recorded saying:

Time will tell where the real magic lies. I’m only 40 now when this tape comes out. Paul’s 38.

John, in fact, ended up writing a song titled ‘Life Begins At 40′ in 1980.

They say life begins at forty / Age is just a state of mind / If all that's true / You know, that I've been dead for thirty-nine

And if life begins at forty / Well, I hope it ain't the same / It's been tough enough without that stuff / I don't wanna to be born again

Well, I tried to sweep the slate clean / With a new broom ev'ry day / If that don't work / I'll jerk around until my next birthday

Yeah, life begins at forty / Age is just a state of mind / Well, if all that's true / You know that I've been dead for thirty-nine

He didn’t record it for Double Fantasy, as he intended to give it to Ringo, for inclusion in his upcoming album. 

The same one on which John and Paul had planned to reunite musically.

John finally took Paul up on his offer. He trusted that he and Paul could make it, and was ready to stick with him, to Start Over.

But he wasn’t born again long enough for that. 

Outro

‘Coming Up’ was recently included in Paul McCartney’s 2018 Valentine’s Day Playlist, which is described as “the sound of Paul in love”. 

[Disclaimer: I didn’t come up with all of these connections. For that, I have to thank @sweating-cobwebs for exposing the importance of the upcoming anniversary in the most pleasing way possible, in Vol 4 of Understanding Lennon/McCartney. And a shoutout to @northernsongspeels for unearthing that D. H. Lawerence poem. Quotes are linked to their original posts, where it applies.

I made this post out of the desire to gather in a single place everything about a song that I love, and register its importance as the last love letter Paul sent John while the latter was still alive. It’s both beautiful and tragic that this was the one John finally responded to in the way that was desired.]

[a-tiny-moon]

Unhelpful guide to Onewe

Since I haven’t found a guide for them yet, I decided to make one myself because I want everyone to love these five bois

Also their height is taken from this profile, but if you watch the last guide I linked at the end of the post you’ll see that some of them are apparently lying about it.... 

- 5-member boy band currently under RBW Entertainment

- formerly known as M.A.S 0094, or just MAS

- all of them were contestants on The Unit

- re-debuted under the name Onewe on May 13, 2019

- they write a huge part of their music by themselves(!!)

-----

Members:

Yonghoon

- Real Name: Jin Yonghoon

- Positions: Leader, Main Vocal, Keyboard, Guitar

- Birthday: August 17, 1994

- Height: 184cm/6′0″

- the last member to join the group

- became the leader when they went to RBW

- a crybaby (but doesn’t admit it)

- old man

- angelic vocals

- STAGE PRESENCE

- bullied by his members (like every good leader)

- his mother didn’t want him to become a musician at first because of how harsh the industry is

Harin

- Real Name: Ju Harin

- Position: Drums

- Birthday: March 29, 1998

- Height: 180cm/5′10″

- does lots of questionable stuff

- what is going on in his head

- kinda 4d

- vitamins

- likes doing magic tricks

- no lines but tHAT VOICE

- can also play piano and a little bit guitar

- can cook

- fuqboi eyebrows

(there’s too little gifs of this group smh this was one out of three i found for him)

Kanghyun

- Real Name: Kang Hyungu

- Position: Guitar

- Birthday: November 24, 1998

- Height: 176cm/5′9″ 

- former leader

- loves chocolate and reading and gudetama

- a liiiittle weird at times

- also cute... but like weird cute

- said he wanted to learn dancing cause he doesn’t look cool when playing the guitar he’s a liar

- he names his guitars

- can apparently play any instrument at least a little

- good at kendo, was supposed to become a kendo athlete at first

- also don’t give him power or he’ll abuse it

Dongmyeong

- Real Name: Son Dongmyeong

- Position: Lead Vocal, Keyboard, Visual

- Birthday: January 10, 2000

- Height: 173cm/5′8″

- Cya got him to join the band because they needed a vocalist

- he brought his twin brother, Xion/Son Dongju into the company, who became a member of Oneus

- he’s the older twin by a minute

- was on Produce 101

- shy bean, but he doesn’t seem like it because he talks far too much

- like he talks all the time

- 9/10 times when Yonghoon gets roasted because of his age, Dongmyeong is the culprit

- accidental spoiler king

Cya

- Real Name: Lee Giwook

- Position: Main Rapper, Bass Guitar, Maknae

- Birthday: January 24, 2000

- Height: 175cm/5′9″

- another shy bean

- has his own soundcloud

- has produced songs for and with Oneus’ rapline (like Crazy & Crazy)

- left-handed

- lots of earrings (and fittingly enough he wrote Ring on My Ears)

- loves Pokémon

-----

Other contents/MVs/performances:

- they released three MVs as Onewe so far, which make up their debut album:

Reminisce About All

Ring on my Ears

0&4

- some songs worth checking out from back when they were still MAS: 

Feeling Good

Butterfly, Find a Flower

Starlight

Make Some Noise (pls also watch their fanchant guide for this)

- a few live performances of theirs that I really recommend y’all to watch to see how talented these kids really are:

Closer (The Chainsmokers Cover)

Starry Night (Mamamoo Cover)

Actor (their own song but there’s no official release yet)

- they’re supposed to be Oneus’ brother group and had various predebut shows together with them (both with Eng subs):

Let’s Debut, which has 20 episodes of various missions for both groups

Power Up!, where they sell snacks to promote themselves

you can find some other videos if you dig through their official YT and vLive channels, but not all of that is subbed

- translation of an interview from back in 2017

- Onewe at Arirang’s Super Kpop Radio

- please look at these crackheads [Part 1&2, Part 3&4]

- Onewe version of 3 minute boyfriend (if anyone still remembers this, also pls don’t watch this unless they already own your heart askdjflksa)

- there’s also various (un)helpful guides to them on YT:

like this super long super detailed one

this one’s good too and only half as long

watch this if you’re already a bit familiar with the members

-----

Official social media:

- Twitter

- Instagram

- Facebook

- Youtube (Onewe, MAS)

- vLive

- Fancafé (Guide on how to join and level up - note that this is an old guide from back when they were MAS, so a few small things changed on the fancafe since then; if you need help leveling up feel free to send me a message or an ask!)

Now go stan these talented qt’s~

[fanfic-inator795]

RotTMNT Oneshot: Family Karaoke Night

(Also on AO3 if you want to leave a kudos/comment there)

Plot: No matter what their singing abilities, anyone can get into karaoke - even an old rat.

((Finally finished this after having it in my drafts for like a month. Basically, I love family fluff, I love silly fun, and I love imagining characters singing. Put them all together, and you get this. Enjoy! ^v^))

While most kids her age probably had to be pushed and dragged into getting their homework done early, April had no problems with it. Of course, that MAY have had something to do with wanting to hang out with her brothers for a couple hours before having to go to bed and prepare for another exhausting school day, but hey, motivation was motivation.

Though, naturally, this motivation waned a little on the weekends, where it was far too easy to just push everything off until Sunday afternoon. It was a bad habit, April could admit that, but she had gotten a bit better at doing at least a little work each day before rushing off the sewers. And, on nights like tonight, she didn’t want to risk anything weighing on her mind and possibly ruining her night.

So, she worked through her assignments as soon as she got home, and munched on reheated leftovers as she wrote out the outline for her essay that was due the next week. Once she was satisfied with the progress she had made, April shut down her computer, grabbed her already packed bag and heading out the door, making sure to give Mayhem a quick pet goodbye before leaving. It was a bit later than she had hoped, though that hardly mattered when you were staying up all night.

“Heyyyy, I’m here!” April yelled once she reached the entrance of the lair. Almost immediately, she heard footsteps race towards her, and with a grin, she ran towards the brothers with open arms.

“See, boys? I told you she’d show up soon!” Raph said as soon as their group hug ended.

“Of course! I just had some homework I had to finish up, but there was no way that I was going to miss-”

“Karaoke niiiight~” Leo sang, holding a pretend microphone to his mouth. His brothers joined in, harmonizing. “Karaoke niiiiight!” “Karaoke ni-i-iiiiiight~!”

April snickered, shaking her head. Such dorks, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. After a moment though, she noticed the missing member of their quartet. “Hey, where’s Donnie?”

“Oh, you know how he is,” Raph answered, “He’s still downloading songs. I guess there was this album that was just released that he really wanted to sing?”

“Ah,” April nodded. That definitely sounded like Donnie. “Heh, you’d think he’d be happy with the songs we have. He texted me yesterday, tellin’ me all about how it was apparently ‘the most advanced karaoke machine of all time’. Wouldn't be surprised if that thing had a thousand and one songs on that thing by now.”

“Thaaat sounds about right, but apparently it’s still not enough,” Leo shrugged. Not that he could really complain, more songs could only be a good thing, just as long as they weren’t a bunch of cheesy love songs that he and his family sang at literal nauseum while they were high off a case of Rat Flu. No matter how fun the idea of an all-night karaoke night might have been, Leo wasn’t and would never be in the mood to hear a another three hour rendition of “My Heart Will Go On”.

“Come on, let’s go grab the snacks and then we can ask him about it!” Mikey told them, already grabbing April’s arm and eagerly dragging her towards the kitchen, “Oh! And April, did you bring-?”

“Of course!” April grinned, holding up her bag full of goodies. Beads and tacky sunglasses, huge hats and feather boas, and at least half a dozen old halloween costumes. It would seem that one person’s trash was another person’s stage outfit. Mikey grinned back at her, giving her a quick hug.

“This is gonna be AWESOME!” “Heh, isn’t it always with you guys around?” “Could say the same thing about you, sis~”

It took a bit of maneuvering to grab all of the snacks and treats Mikey had made in one go, but thankfully the box turtle’s near perfect balance and April’s experience in waiting tables helped them enough to carry all of it into the next room without spilling a single crumb - though they’d have to come back for the drinks. Naturally there were pizza puffs, as well as chicken wings, tortilla chips, popcorn shrimp, and even cupcakes (and in three different flavors, no less). Even with supper still settling in her stomach, she couldn’t deny that it all looked delicious!

“Gee Mike, you think we have enough to get us through the night?” April asked, smirking a bit despite the weight on her arms.

“I sure hope so.” Mikey placed the final bowl on his head, making sure not to tilt it. “But, if we get really desperate, I think we’ve got some ice cream in the back of the freezer.”

“Uh huh, and how old is it?”

Mikey thought for several moments before he finally answered, flashing a sheepish grin as he did so. “Uhhh, probably best not to ask.”

The tv room had been completely transformed. Leftover streamers from past birthday and holiday parties had been strung around haphazardly while a small ball with rainbow lights spun in the corner, giving the whole room a sort of disco effect. The lights were low and the projector was already on, and near the screen were two speakers that had been dragged out specifically for this night. From the karaoke machine, Donnie (whose classic goggles had been replaced with a pair of purple shutter shades) gave April and his youngest brother a brief wave, barely looking up from his tablet.

Beanbags, blankets and pillows had also been dug out, creating a classic sleepover mood. Near Splinter’s chair was their usual eating table, where they quickly dropped off their load. Almost immediately, Raph and Leo dug in, putting their “Best Power Rock Anthem of All Time” argument on hold for the time being.

“So, we about ready to start this night, already?” April asked, “Cause I’ve had a loooong day, and I’m ready to get singin’!”

“Just a few more minutes!” Donnie told her, “Just have to finish downloading these last few songs, plus install the love song blocker-”

“Tha’k yuu!” Leo said through a mouth-full of pizza puffs. His twin simply gave him a thumbs up.

“If April’s callin’ the first song of the night, then Raph’s callin’ the second one! After all-” He smirked, his voice deepening. “Someone’s gotta bring a bit of soul to this shindig. Awww, yeahhh~”

April snorted, covering her mouth before her giggles could escape. How Raphael managed to get into soul music of all things, she would never know. But hey, whatever made him happy. “Heh, second song’s all yours, Raph.”

“Sweet. Thanks, girl.”

“Ooh! And we’ve just GOTTA do duets!” Mikey chimed in, quickly turning back to his genius purple brother, “That thing does duets, right Dee?”

“It had precisely two hundred and thirty nine duets programmed into it, as well as a second microphone plug-in available. ...So yes, ‘Angelo,” he smiled simply, “It does duets.” Mikey leapt across the sea of blankets to pull him into a hug, silently thanking him for all his hard work. Not that it was really THAT hard or even that much of a bother - Donnie was just as much of a showman (er, show-turtle) as the rest of his brothers, and it didn’t take a genius to realize that they would be hearing quite a few Broadway numbers that night. Still, he appreciated the gesture, and returned it with a quick pat on Mikey’s shell.

“Well then come on, guys! Let’s stop talking about it and get started already!” Leo grinned, standing from his seat and striking a bit of a pose, “I hope you’re ready to be blown away by my sweet singing skills.”

“Hmph, gonna be hard to be ‘blown away’ if all you sing are meme songs,” Donnie retorted, rolling his eyes while everyone else snickered.

Leo however was hardly offended. “Don’t act like you still don’t consider ‘All Star’ to be a jam even after all the memes,” he said, smirking back at his twin.

“You know, in my time, people went out for karaoke rather than just taking over the nearest space for who knows how long.” Everyone turned to see Splinter in the doorway, looking not too happy about losing control of the tv room for the night. Sure, he had a tv in his bedroom, but the smaller screen plus what was sure to be a whole night of loud singing and laughter wasn’t much of a consolation.

“Aww, come on, Pop, don’t be like that,” Raph said, offering his father a welcoming smile. The rat man just huffed, crossing his arms.

“We’ve got snacks!” Dashing back over to the small table, Mikey picked up the bowl of chips. “You looooove snacks~”

Splinter hummed. “I do love snacks,” he mumbled, softening a bit.

“And-” Leo began, hoping to seal the deal and free themselves from their rat-dad’s grumpiness towards their special night once and for all, “I’m sure we could fit in some time to let you sing a few songs too! Come on, Dad, join in on the fun!”

At that, Splinter’s yellow eyes narrowed and hardened once more. “Ohhh, so NOW you don’t mind me singing, huh?” he asked, “Have you boys learned to appreciate other people’s musical talent, or do you simply not mind listening to something that ‘belongs in the sewers’?”

While April could only look on in confusion, the four turtles all winced in harsh realization. So THAT was why he was so upset and annoyed…

“Okay, but that was different!” Leo argued, “That was for our band and, and we just wanted it to be OUR thing!” In a lower tone, he added, “Plus it’s not like weird opera singing would’ve fit anyway-” Splinter growled. He tries to impress his sons a little with something unique and this is what he gets?

“BUT, that still doesn’t make it right!” Raph said, quickly jumping in (and shooting Leon a glare for good measure), “We’re sorry for what we said, and for bein’ so rude about it, okay Pop?”

“Yeah!” “Totes!” April nodded as well, despite having nothing to do with whatever incident brought all this up, just to give her support. Getting an idea, she then reached over and grabbed one of the microphones.

“You could even have the first song!” she offered, handing him the device as a peace offering, “What do you say, Master Splinter?”

“...” Splinter looked at the microphone, then at the faces staring back at him. All of them (the boys especially) were looking at him with concern as well as encouragement. Splinter sighed through his nose. He might have been petty at times, but he wasn’t so stubborn that he’d totally ruin his kids’ night. “I suppose I could sing one song.”

“Then step on up, Dad!” Donnie smiled, giving a dramatic wave of his arm towards the karaoke machine. Splinter smirked at the gesture, and began scrolling through the seemingly infinite song list.

“So you’re SURE there’s no love songs on there,” Leo whispered. Donnie nodded - though, he still wasn’t expecting that great of a ‘performance’ judging by how far back he moved, phone in hand. He just hoped whatever his father picked, it wasn’t too long of a song.

Thankfully, the genre tabs made it a bit easier to search for something familiar to him. He didn’t expect there to be any non-anime opening Japanese songs on there, but- “Aha!” He selected a song, and after a couple seconds, a light enough tune began playing through the speakers. First a keyboard and guitar, and then a blast of trumpets.

Immediately, everyone sat up a bit straighter. “Whoa! Is this-?” Raph asked, beginning to grin.

“I didn’t know he liked THIS kind of music too!” Leo commented.

“Ha! I grew up with this music, frankly I’m surprised YOU all even know it!” Splinter chuckled. The wonders of the Internet and timeless hit songs, he supposed. He then began to sing as he struck a bit of a pose, not even needing the words.

“Do you remember... the 21st night of September? Love was changing the minds of pretenders, while chasing the clouds awayyyyy~” His young audience started clapping along with the beat, giving a small cheer or two as they did. “Our hearts were ringing, in the key that our souls were singing. As we danced in the night, remember how the stars stole the night away~”

Sure, Splinter’s voice was still a bit gravely and off-key, but- “You know, he’s actually not that bad,” Donnie smiled, “Definitely has stage presence.”

“Heh, yeah,” Raph agreed, “And he can sure put a lot of energy into somethin’ when he wants to, don’t you think-?” April’s laugh cut him off, bringing the snapper’s attention back to the ‘stage’ in front of him, where his younger brothers now stood beside their father, happily singing along with the chorus despite not having microphones of their own. Splinter just grinned at them, not minding them all.

“Ba de ya!” Leo and Mikey sang.

“Someday you’ll remember-” Splinter sang back.

“Ba de ya!” They sang again, with Raph and Donnie now joining in as well.

“Dancing in September~”

“Ba de ya!”

“Never was a cloudy dayyyyy!” Splinter and April both belted out, with the latter still trying to hold back her laughter. The song went on, and not a single voice completely dropped out, with Splinter naturally taking the main part while his children kept the chorus strong. Even as the tune faded out, they all still sang and danced and giggled until Splinter finally spoke up once more.

“Well, I think it’s clear that I’ve properly gotten this karaoke night started~” He smirked, “April, I believe it’s your turn.”

“Don’t mind if I do!” April grinned as the rat passed the microphone.

April and Raph kept things in the 70s a bit longer with “Hanging On the Telephone” and a bit of Stevie Wonder while the twins brought it back to more moderns hits with  “Never Gonna Give You Up” (“Seriously, Leon? We were having such a great time and I feel so annoyed right now.”) and a bit of Daft Punk. Mikey nearly brought the sewers down with his rapping, and then it was back to Splinter with “Right Back Where We Started From”, a song the boys could swear they remember him singing from the childhoods, either while he was preparing food or just a light sorta-lullaby to calm them down.

The song selections went from disco to glam rock, broadway to hip-hop, soul to techno, and everything in-between. Costumes were naturally dragged out with each new performance, further adding to the fun as numerous pictures were taken. Snacks were replenished twice and Splinter grabbed some sake from his second “Do Not Touch” cabinet in the kitchen. He wasn’t much of a drinker these days, finding milk and cake more appealing, but he figured a glass or two wouldn’t hurt. As for everyone else, they loaded up on sugary pop and juice, not minding missing out.

It didn’t take long for Splinter to drop out after that, though he was still content with sitting in his chair and watching everyone else sing. He clapped after the surprisingly impressive rap battle between his youngest and his oldest, and laughed along with everyone else when Leo tried to sing some Vanilla Ice.

But, not even the most fun karaoke nights could last forever. The time between songs, where they’d just talk about random things or play on their phones, was getting longer and longer. Donnie had begun singing one of the more mellow songs currently on the billboard top 100 when Splinter finally closed his eyes.

When he woke up, the atmosphere in the room was much different. It was quiet, warm and peaceful even, despite the harsh neon lighting from the spinning light ball. On the screen, a turtle-shell logo silently bounced around. Surrounding his chair, Splinter could hear the light snores and mumbles of his sons and their friend. He could also see all the empty cans and wrappers, not to mention all the dishes and crumbs.

Splinter shook his head, mentally scolding them for the mess before shrugging it off. They were teenagers and making messes was just a thing they did, they could always clean later. He then put a paw to his mouth, muffling his cough. He didn’t lose his voice, but his throat was still pretty dry.

Slowly, he got up, and crept around the covered lumps, silent and swift like the ninja master he was. He stole one last glance at them once he reached the doorway, their laughter from the night before still echoing in his mind. He smirked at the memory, chuckling lightly before making his way to the kitchen.

Not wanting to wait for tea, Splinter just grabbed a cup and ran some warm water, drinking that instead. He made sure to sit as well, his aging joints still aching slightly despite being plenty mobile. He had accepted his age, having fought off any ‘mid-life crisis’ thoughts pretty well so far, but that didn’t mean he didn’t still notice certain things. The aches, the fatigue, the white hair.. (He still wasn’t completely sure if that last one was simply the mutation’s doing, or if raising four kids really stressed him out that much.)

Even so, nights like the one they just had and the content mornings like the one he was having now reminded him that he still had plenty left to enjoy and much more life to live. He definitely appreciated that… Perhaps that was why, once he finished his drink and his throat no longer ached, Splinter began getting out various pans and ingredients.

Ever since Michelangelo developed his cooking passion at the age of eight, he and his brothers had taken care of whatever meals that weren’t just ordered in. But just because Splinter was no longer the chef of the house didn’t mean he still didn’t know how to prepare a decent family breakfast. He started the rice first, then the eggs. They would have just enough for everyone to get one omelette each. He was just about to start cracking them when he heard footsteps.

“Morning,” April said quietly, giving him a nod.

“Good morning, April,” Splinter nodded back, “Feel free to go back into the tv room and relax, it’s going to be a while.”

“Actually, I think I’m gonna stay here for a while,” April replied, “I needed to stretch for a bit, and I do have another set of hands right here for you to use.”

“I’m capable of making breakfast on my own,” Splinter told her, his tone betraying his otherwise distancing words. You are a guest, don’t feel like you need to help.

April just smiled, and walked over to the counter. “I know, and so am I. Mind handin’ me a peeler?”

Having no real reason to argue, Splinter did as he was told. “...By the way, thanks for joining us last night,” she told him. With all the adventures there were to be had around the city and Splinter’s shows that he enjoyed watching, the six of them didn’t always get to hang out together too often. But just because these instances were more rare didn’t mean they weren’t still wanted. “The guys and I really enjoyed havin’ you around. ...You’re a pretty cool guy, Master.”

A warm smile crept onto his lips. “...I could say the same about you, April.”

The two worked in silence, with Splinter concentrating on the rice and eggs while April made her favorite hashbrown recipe as well as some bacon. Slowly but surely, the rest of their underground home (or in April’s case, home away from home) started coming back to life.

Mikey woke up first, greeting them both with a hug and eager to help by making toast. Raph came next, having smelt the food. With the food covered, he assigned himself table setting duties. Finally, a very groggy pair of twins joined them. Donnie started up the coffee machine and tea kettle (with the majority vote settling on camomile with a bit of honey) while Leo got out all the juice they had left in the fridge.

By the time everything was done, conversations had started up, hoping to hide the sound of their stomachs growling. “You know, we should try to do this next week!” Mikey said as they all began to sit down, “Or next month or, you know, just sometime soon!”

“What, karaoke till we pass out and then breakfast the morning after?” Donnie asked, raising an eyebrow.

Mikey nodded eagerly. “Yeah! At least once a month! Come on, you guys are lyin’ if you say you don’t want to do that more often.”

While Mikey’s brothers and sister considered it, Splinter hummed in consideration. “Not a bad idea, Orange, though why don’t we focus on eating breakfast and cleaning up last night’s mess before we plan anymore karaoke nights, hm?”

The box turtle gave a sheepish smile. “Heh, right,” he said as he began digging into his food, “Got it, Pops.”

Splinter smiled back at his orange son before looking back down at his own plate. He nibbled on his rice and toast, and resisting the urge to start humming a certain song from the night before… Fun karaoke nights with his family were one thing, but getting a tune stuck in his head for hours on end was quite another.

Still, it wasn’t a bad idea… Not a bad idea at all.

THE END