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#also I need to point out the insane detail that I’ve made sure to add earplugs to the doll outfits that are from stage performances lmao
trash-bats · 2 years
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HAVOK Dolls #3 - Trop d’amour Release Show
This was a request from @boykingofcats , and I’m sorry it took so long to get to but I was honestly intimidated to draw all those sequins lol! But I finally said “fuck it, good enough” and decided to declare it finished. I have too much love for Trop d’amour 🖤
Have any Davey Havok outfits you’d like to see as a fashion doll illustration? Let me know in my ask box!
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dysfunctional-doodle · 3 months
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YPI PROJECT BEAT MY ASS AND I’M SUPER TIRED BUT THE TOO MANY TURTLES COMMENTARY GRIND NEVER STOPS ‼️‼️💯💯💯
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betrayal…. (playing uno is 100% more worth your time than patrol, can confirm, best game ever, played a game with 20 people in a german exchange (but it was kinda quick since we only had one pack of cards and. well. 20 people))
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HELL YEAH, WE’RE MAKING PROGRESS!!!!! (i have a feeling this might get a bit angsty…)
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😭😭😭😭 (speech to text is really annoying i get the struggle)
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y’know, of all the turtles to slander clothes, i didn’t think it’d be him
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god noooo the feels 😭😭 (i never quite experienced the bad-teacher side of the neurodivergent experience (my physics teacher was crazy supportive despite the fact i never scored higher than a 40% in his class) but i would get a loooottttt of shit from classmates,,,,,,, sucks ass i feel for mm mikey)
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gotta keep expanding your horizons!
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ok but. of all the turtles………
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love it when this happens
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taking action! (also hold on 2012 mikey is an adult in his timeline???)
sighhhh i hope tech stays with the mikeys forever because their dynamiccccc 😭😭😭
not sure if i’m ready for the angst that is most likely coming our way. BUT i’m excited for it
Happy you liked my insane rambles again!
Referring to what you said about teachers, I have personally had some struggle throughout school with the way they teach things which I kind of use to write the issue mm mikey is having, very loosely. Though I don’t have a neurodivergency diagnosed (though a lot of people have kind of told me that I most definitely probably have big ADD or something similar rattling in the old noggin so idk) I learn much differently to what schools want. I am a very hands on learner, and really struggle with visual/auditory classes. It’s like being told how to write a good story but not actually doing it - I just tune out, or it is difficult to get it to “click” unless I explain it to myself in a weird way that actually makes much more sense to me. Once this “click” happens it’s great, I have no issues, but I have a lot of questions and thoughts that others don’t get prior to this point that I’ve unfortunately been disregarded for, as my teacher just didn’t want to explain and deemed me as stupid and needing extra classes because I didn’t learn in the same way. Not to brag but I’m pretty intelligent without even studying so this was a slap in the face for me.
So yeah, I kinda based at least some elements on this experience, though obviously a lot is also made up/fictionalised.
Wow that was a ramble
Anyway, you also mentioned Mikey’s age? I don’t think I’ve ever properly written down the ages outside of a discord I am in that talks about this fic, oops. In short, the timelines are not linear, but rather dotted around the place. A breakdown:
1987 are the ones where I’m not 100% sure on what to age them as, but I imagine around 17 - 19, all the same age
Rise boys are about 6 months - a year after the events of the movie
2012 are about 20 - 22, a few years after their final series (with Mikey being an extra 2 years ahead due to Dimension X)
2007 are what I believe are their cannon ages at 21? Takes place a few months after their 2007 movie (I also consider the 90s movies to be from the same universe due to the details present in 2007)
2003 are a few years after the crossover movie, making them the oldest at around 25 (Mikey being 24 due to him being a few months or so younger when they were sold)
Mutant mayhem boys are literally a couple of weeks after their movie
Bayverse boys are a year after their second movie
Hopefully that clears things up a little :)
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randomshipperhere · 2 years
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My Top 5 Markiplier Egos
Where I just rant about why I love each one so much at varying degrees.
ISWM Countdown- 5 Days.....
5- Dr. Iplier
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I’ve already touched up on this a bit on previous posts for the countdown. The biggest contributor to my adoration for him is his gap moe. Because if we’re just going to look at how he is in Worst News Doctor... ngl I don’t like him that much. He’s one of the bigger non-main egos who actually goes through a character arc of sorts. Dr. Iplier is cool in how he just consistently goes out of his way to say... the worst news possible to his patients before actually giving his diagnosis. How he says it with a straight face. Then there’s another facet where he’s actually seen to be aggressive when his role is threatened, as seen in Markiplier TV when Wilford says “Wilford knows what’s best”. A bit vain but he is proud of his job.
He grows to be a bit more blunt but says rather inaccurate diagnosis in Markiplier TV but when you listen to his dialogue at the end, it just seems like this is what he likes to do. Breaking the bad news to someone even if the situation doesn’t call for it. It’s like those villains who rehearse or get excited while doing their monologues. It’s fucking cute. Then there’s My Therapist and good lord does he look and act different. He’s dressed down, more casual, and a lot more open to talking to the patient. Makes a shit ton of dad jokes. Incredibly dorky and gosh... gap fucking moe alright. I love that shit. He just doesn’t act like how we’ve usually seen him, he’s a lot more relaxed, less rigid and that just adds to his charms.
4- Yancy
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I’m pretty sure a lot of fans can understand why we like him. I don’t need to further explain because there’s already a lot of posts out there explaining each and every detail about him that is adorable, interesting, and cute....n dorky...n loveable. Just don’t underestimate his dancing skills. Love you theatre kid.
Higher than Dr. Iplier for the natural dork energy. Lower than top 3 because a lot of his story is laid out for us. 9/10 would give a smooch. Deducted a point for scaring us half to death in the cell.
I’m not gonna expand on why I love him but the way he sang “Break out? of this place?” the way Mark decided on how to deliver those lines and sing them. Shit that’s some good content.
3- The Host
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It’s pretty weird that I like this bastard who has less than a minute’s worth of screen time over the 8 or so years of their existence. It’s very hard to explain why I like him so much but I can at least put some of that affection into words. One of the main things I’d say is Danger in Fiction was a really good origin story. We got to see him as the Author who is this temperamental control freak and the contrast of who he used to be to what we know as the calm, collected, possibly omniscient Host is interesting. That transition from A to B is “???” but seeing such a huge change in personality really captured my attention. Danger In Fiction also really made me wish Mark played downright villainous roles more and I beg thee Mr. Markiplier, please play more outright menacing, insane characters. Please be part of a horror movie cast, my fan heart has been wishing for it for so long.
Another reason why I like the Host a lot is his entire look. In the now private video of his first appearance, he is creepy. The dark room whose only light source is from the screen, then seeing this not quite human looking thing with bloody bandages over their eyes moving in an unnatural yet flowy way. That expression on his face that’s somewhere between a neutral position and a slight curve into a smile. I love all of it. He looks and moves like he came out of a horror movie. A similar design I can think of is the Janitor from Little Nightmares.
There’s also his powers. The ability to narrate everything that is going on is so fascinating! Underutilized in canon but it makes for interesting scenarios. We don’t even know the limits of his ability. Does he narrate the most important events in the room? Does he actually have the ability of foresight? IS he omnipotent? Omniscient? Maybe he has control over it or is he a slave to his own powers?
I’m always just so curious about him. What he is, who he used to be, what he could be. He just itches my need for knowledge. Because we don’t know him all that well, our brain is using what info we have to fill in that gap. It’s like playing a puzzle game but for a character. He’s so underappreciated and I can’t help but cry out inside. Incorrect quotes and fanfics set at Markiplier TV HQ are my only hopes of seeing him.
Also god, back in the olden days people were fucking confused whether the Author and The Host were the same people or different. Dark’s fan wikia page even had the Host for his photo. Do you guys remember that? It was the wild west during his time, let me tell ya.
Someone made a post here in tumblr about how some story beats of Danger In Fiction and the whole WKM series is similar and that post got me thinking, u right.
Reason I love the host: It’s the potential
Mark on The Host: He’s a radio host | Who owns him
As a Host fan I’m really sad we most likely won’t ever see him become a fully fleshed character in canon but we can still have fun with our fanfics. It still hurts though.
2- Damien
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I will never get over how much this man deserved the world and more. He’s such a fine piece of work and if you’re in the Markiplier fandom, and you don’t like him, even just a bit, what is wrong with you.
Mark has created an angel. A beautiful ray of sunshine. Our bouncing baby boy. He is beauty, he is grace, and he is the first Y/N stan in this household. Kind, compassionate, a natural born leader, he has so many good qualities and I’m blinded thinking about how good he is. How happy he is to see us, an old friend. How he is willing to stake his life for our, and William’s innocence. He’s just so humane, so grounded and I have hearts in my eyes, oh wow.
Can we talk about his fit? This mayor is wearing a clean and well fitted suit, the slicked back hair, the stylish cane he brings around, a flower, and a comically cute mayor pin. He looks so clean and a little bit goofy with the pin. He deadass makes me do that giggle when you have a cute crush on someone.
Talked a bit about his personality earlier but I really love just how cute his overall vibe is. Warm, gentle, compassionate. An altruistic and noble fella. Damien is like a steady rock, the calm before a storm. He makes you feel grounded in the whirlwind mess that is the Manor. The way that he cares until the bitter end. He is too good to be true. All of who he is can be explained in 5 words “Life is ours to choose”. I may be romanticizing him too much but shush. Let me have this. Even with all the things I said, I really like his unexpected traits. Like him being a confused mess and a party animal.
Can I also say how dare you Mark. So many of the scenes involving him are in bright places and in incredibly romantic aesthetically pleasing places (referring to romanticism, not to a romantic relationship). So much of the initial attraction viewers feel is based on the places you meet him solo. The second floor hallway near the stairs with the bright light, the dark pavilion contrasted with the light stairway railing, and outside walking with him along the vivid silver, yellows, and whites surrounding you. Intentional or not it makes me punch the air because he’s just so loveable.
Then there’s his place in the storyline. How tragic it is for someone so far away from this mess yet so intertwined with it became a villain without having a choice in the matter. Friends with the Colonel and Actor, younger brother of the Seer. The only one of the four not part of the messy love that the others are in. The one who still tries to connect with the three after all that’s happened even if the others don’t want to make up. Lost his friends, lost his own body. Confused, angry, and yet... he still wants to do what he believes is right. For the greater good. The end justifies the means. He makes it way too easy to forgive him even after what he did to us. Even if he isn’t as pure as the driven snow...
I do love myself some tragic characters. Ones that the fans are like “They didn’t deserve this!” but then again... do any of the main characters deserved their fates?
10/10 would smooch and marry. Best boyfriend material among them. He and the DA would’ve made for an amazing and cute power couple.
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Before we get to my number one let’s list down the Honorable Mentions:
Googleiplier: Actually before the existence of AHWM, he was in my top 5. and before ADWM he was my number one. I kid you not I have an unfinished fanfic of him somewhere. Times have changed bud. I still love your deadpan comedy. “so if you could take some of these” *flips Bing off* “and go away”. Technically Dr. Iplier and him are both my #5 but Dr. was just very slightly higher than Googs.
Yandereiplier: Hey, I had a very huge yandere character obsession phase at the time (it mellowed out over the years but I still like the archetype) plus the red hair, plus the seifuku. Once again, a character that used to be in my top 5 before ADWM.
Actor! Mark: I was never a huge fan of him but I really liked him. He has red as his colors and I am naturally attracted to this (red and black always get me) so that was a bonus point. I love charismatic (maybe even an asshole) villains, even if you don’t think he is, Actor is. I also love underappreciated, and misunderstood characters.
There’s also the possibility of his character arc branching out into absolute bastard or possibly redeemed villain. That’s appealing. Whether he is sincere or not in the ADWM & AHWM series is always something you can debate but I find it fascinating how some fans allow certain egos to willingly manipulate them but not Actor. Story wise, as the viewer, he really doesn’t do anything directly to us in WKM, any hate towards him is because of outside info. But to our character, he didn’t do anything to rouse our ire. And while I am ranting about him like this, to the point where you might think why isn’t he in the top 5 well... You can rant a lot about a character you don’t necessarily love y’know? I just find him really REALLY fascinating. Dr. Iplier is close to being dethroned depending on how Actor will portray himself in ISWM.
2 of 3 of the honorable mentions are closely tied to the color red lol.
And considering my type in this list... number one goes to
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Darkiplier
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I uhh... got super embarrassed after I wrote like a 2k+ word count thing for him and went back and forth between keeping it up or not but if you want to go and read it go over here [I love Dark maybe a bit too much].
It got personal. Eheh....
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TL;DR
Dr Iplier- contradictory characteristics very cool
Yancy- I love him your honor
The Host- lots of underutilized character potential that will never see the light of day
Damien- he’s an angel and maybe I shouldn’t see him that way but I can’t help it
Dark- it’s a complicated and long commitment relationship. Stupidly hot non-human ugh.
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kylandara · 3 years
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Quora Sharing Time #1
Would it still make sense for Daenerys to go mad even if they correctly paced everything out and she had a reasonable turn to insanity, when her biggest battle throughout the series was to avoid going mad? by Erik Trobec
For me, Daenerys’s story already made whole lot of sense the way it unfolded on screen. I was one of those who kept having this subtle unsettling feeling about her since very early on and could never really join the “root train” because I’ve felt Daenerys was constantly walking on veeery thin line between a liberator and power-hungry conqueror. I could go into details why I feel this way but I won’t do it this time… if you’re interested, look at my other Daenerys-related answers on my profile.
But what’s firmly my opinion is that Daenerys actually didn’t “go mad” in terms of that she used to be “plain good” and suddenly became “evil. No, I feel Daenerys in “The Bells” was the same person as she has been since her dragons got hatched and I would say that’s actually the root of her problem… she didn’t evolve as a person since obtaining power. At the end of S1, her ultimate goal was to conquer the Iron Throne and be everyone’s queen, because it’s her “birthright” while forcibly submitting or destroying those who wouldn’t willingly bend to her rule. Since the end of S1, . Then she made a “detour” in Slaver’s Bay and when she arrives to Westeros, Her ultimate goal was to conquer the Iron Throne and be everyone’s queen, because it’s her “birthright” while forcibly submitting or destroying those who wouldn’t willingly bend to her rule. See the pattern? Her mentality is still more or less the same
And as I pointed out several times in my past answers, I don’t think her agressive pursuit of the Iron Throne is even an “inherently good” goal. Liberating slaves from oppressive aristocrats? Sure. Invading a foreign continent and claiming the Throne simply because she wants to rule? Wouldn’t say so. In fact, I think it’s the liberation of slaves that made the audience more easily overlook the problematic aspects of her goal and personality but I firmly believe Daenerys remained the same core character all the way to her very end. A character who had this extreme belief and entitlement that she’s special… someone that everyone needs to bow to or else she has “right” to destroy them. The story went well for her as long as she was getting what she wanted. As soon as she stepped foot in Westeros, she now faced characters who weren’t one-dimensional evil but also weren’t the kind who would stare at her in awe but in fact had very clear ambition themselves where they want to be… well, the image of a fairytale conquest shattered. Add Dany starting to experience real losses and huge stakes regarding her conquest (she actually never really “suffer” much after obtaining dragons or was put in serious danger), her darker impulses that she always carried along with her now became way more visible to the audience.
So no, I don’t think Daenerys went “mad”. I think she was always a bit problematic from hero angle and while I still think her story could be more polished, I think her eventual downfall was very much accounted for and certainly didn’t come out of nowhere.
As for whether a completely polished, perfectly paced same story about Daenerys would not end up being controversial… no, I think regardless of how this twist would happen, a certain if not significant part of the audience would always “berserk” over it. In other words, those who ended up unconditionally rooting for her at one point of the story would never be fine with that. I realized that there are two main points where Daenerys gained this “loyal diehard fandom”… first is when she rises from the pyre, second is when she orders the genocide of aristocrats in Astapor (which would ironically be very much like THe Bells if a camera was put inside the city). Those two moments both happen quite early in the story and I think that even if all other seasons started significantly amplifying Dany’s dark side, I think it would already be too late for certain part of the fandom because at that point, Daenerys is already a “badass beautiful Targaryen queen with dragons who we should all unconditionally root for”. Not to mention the fact how Daenerys became this “feminism symbol” in pop culture…. start deconstructing her in darker way and you immediately attract negative response.
So no, I don’t think this story could unfold in a way that it wouldn’t be controversial. The only way would be if Daenerys was ALWAYS shown in much darker and potentially unlikable light and waaay less heroic than we’ve seen her on screen. A.k.a more like Stannis. But I believe that would completely change the tone for a lot of viewers and I actually doubt the show would even be as popular as it was if all characters were grim and bleak.
Just my two cents on it
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yanderecandystore · 4 years
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hellu, can I request how would Delinquents, teachers, and bullies react to female reader pepper-sprayed the twins for self-defense when they try to beat up reader?
Hello, it's been a while, I'm sorry it took so long- I've been dealing with a lot of school assignments and I can't lie that I have frequent breakdowns over this-
I'll try and upload the requests that I already have and see if I should open up for requests again, or leave it be closed until the waves of work I need to do gets less overwhelming.
I hope y'all are doing great, stay safe everyone.
I'll make this a very short scenario boo.
TW: this is basically a civil war at this point- // for each pair, I'll add a different context (since technically the delinquents aren't from the same institution as the bullies) // female reader // bullying // self defense // anxiety // bullying (verbal and physical) // mentions of stalker behavior and brief mentions of distrust and paranoia
🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭
Triple Spice combo [Yandere!Teachers / Yandere!Delinquents / Yandere!Bullies x F!Reader - Scenario]:
🎇Let me set the stage for a quick sec!🎇
So I'll explain what will happen- This is basically a post with three different timelines, each one based on each character type you're more interested in (example: you want some sour delinquents? You can follow the delinquent timeline and see how they react). Each follows almost similar circumstances, but still a bit differently to be able to fit for each individual timeline.
Come with me boo cause this one is long!
🎆: 🍒Bully's Timeline🍭
You have been the target of bullying for some weeks now, ever since you crossed some rich kids while going to your college. Unfortunately for you, they seem to be heading to the same location as you, apparently they also studied there- Although it should have been quite obvious. You're not the type to confront people physically, and you don't really feel like capable of fighting people of on your own, but because with their constant presence in your life you started to feel the need to get yourself prepared for what was going to come- Especially since you didn't feel like you could count on anyone.
You bought pepper spray in hopes of being able to stop your tormentors from continuing with their sick game.
That's when the incident happened, you were minding your own business when they came looking for trouble. You took the opportunity to finally put a stop on this by spraying their eyes with it.
✳️🍒Bullies🍭:
→ Alexandra Coldwell:
It was so fast and so painful that she couldn't even understand what just happened- Like- How dare you?! How fucking dare you?!! You think this is funny? This wasn't supposed to happen at all!
"- AAAAH!- what?- OH MY GOD-" Alexandra wasn't able to even finish her sentence, the pain was too much for her to handle. As she dropped to the ground trying to clean her eyes out, she couldn't help but feel confused as to what had even happened.
How could you do something so cruel to her?? Yes, she followed you, bullied you, made rumours about you, pulled your hair a couple of times and maybe she did throw insults towards you- But she didn't try to blind you!!
The worst part isn't even the humiliation she is going through, it's the fact you thought you would be able to pull a stunt like this and go away without any scars- She is so, absolutely livid by your stupidity.
Alexandra knows you must be liking this- And you know what? Enjoy your last free moments cause she will make sure you'll pay for it. She'll make sure to have a proper revenge under her sleeve, a proper punishment for harming someone like her in public.
Darling, darling, I hope you start looking behind your back from now on, never know what could happen when the person who is obsessed with you is just as insanely pissed off as they're madly in love with you.
→ Adrien Coldwell:
It was so fast and so painful that he couldn't even understand what just happened- Like- How dare you?! How fucking dare you?!! You think this is funny? This wasn't supposed to happen at all!
"- What- Oh my God I'm DYING!-" Adrien would be a lot more dramatic about it, even if he can articulate in great detail how much it hurts. In his panicked state, he started trying to wipe the substance with his sleeves- Which only helped to spread it more.
How fucking dare you not only hurt his precious eyes but also humiliate him on public like this?! What has gotten into you?? Yeah- I guess he did say hurtful stuff, followed you around to torment you, did throw stuff at you- But ya know- He didn't try to take your eyeballs out!?? Now that he thinks about it, he probably should have.
Adrien has a very weird view on your "relationship"- He thinks you're above him and so he must push you down, he loves you but being gentle with you will leave you to pull this kind of shit.
You're probably laughing to yourself now, the man is temporarily blind and you are laughing at him, you're somehow worse than he thought.
Still, he'll make you pay for it, don't worry about it dearest- You're fucked regardless. You tried to stand against him and now sadly he'll have to put you in your place again. Don't worry, it won't be so early- He still needs to prepare his plan.
Darling, darling, I hope you start looking behind your back from now on, never know what could happen when the person who is obsessed with you is just as insanely pissed off as they're madly in love with you.
🎆: 🍎Teacher's Timeline📕
You have been the target of bullying for some weeks now, ever since you crossed some rich kids while going to your college. Unfortunately for you, they seem to be heading to the same location as you, apparently they also studied there- Although it should have been quite obvious. You're not the type to get physical when it comes to defending yourself, but you felt that you still needed to do something about it- You talked with the only person you could trust in this moment, since they were your mentor and you needed some guidance from someone that could potentially help you solve this out.
Their idea was to be able to personally see the harassment happening so they could have visual proof of who is doing what to you, hopefully being able to expel the ones causing you harm.
They personally gave you pepper spray in hopes that if they aren't near you to help you, you can at least defend yourself in some way.
That's when the incident happened, you were minding your own business when they came looking for trouble. You took the opportunity to finally put a stop on this by spraying their eyes with it.
✳️🍎Teachers📕:
→ Matthew Robinson:
Although you thought to be in a situation where no one would be able to help you- Causing you to use your only item of self-defense- That couldn't have been further from the truth, as Matthew has made sure to pay close attention to you after you came by and ask for his guidance. It was a call for help and he would have been a horrible mentor to not make sure you'll follow his instructions, and it seemed like you did perfectly fine.
He got to be present to not only see the ones causing you harm, but also to see how well you're able to take care of yourself. He was going to intervene as soon as he saw them come closer, but you managed to stop them all by yourself- Honestly he is very proud of you for being able to stand your ground.
Since Matthew was able to see them starting the aggression just like many other witness surrounding the scene, he felt like he had an argument strong enough to be able to properly punish your bullies- Of course he is aware that the Coldwells have a reputation for getting staff members fired for trying to reprimanding them, but honestly he has been inside this place long enough already.
Getting fired isn't his problem, his problem is not being able to give them what they deserve for frightening you, and even worse than that: He needed to make sure you would stay safe in and out of college- You came to him saying they were following you outside of your classes, so of course he'll be worried for your safety.
After expelling the Coldwells, Matthew will just need to find a way of keeping you safe and under his surveillance, you may need more guidance after all, and it would be extremely worrying to not have you by his side. He just needs to plan out a better schedule for you two, one where he can be more present in your life after you're done with your classes.
I wonder what plan comes to his mind.
→ Madeline Allen:
Although you thought to be in a situation where no one would be able to help you- Causing you to use your only item of self-defense- That couldn't have been further from the truth, as Madeline has made sure to pay close attention to you after you came by and ask for her guidance. Madeline has been following you while you walked through the school's halls as she recorded every interaction you had with any of the other students. After you called her for help she entered full protection mode, she was set on getting your tormentors expelled.
However, Madeline hasn't been inside the institution to be able to earn the trust of the other teachers, or even the principal themselves- She needed some evidence and better witness testimony than those from students who were terrified of getting in trouble with the bullies around this place. You could say she had a guess as to who could be causing you trouble but she wouldn't be allowed to take action unless she could prove their identity and involvement in bullying you.
She gave you the pepper spray hoping you would feel less worried, to feel calmer in knowing you had not only something that you could use against them but also to symbolize how she would be there for you if you needed. Seeing you using it for the first time as you spray in the eyes of the culprits made her realize that she was in fact correct. Of course it's them, right?
If there is something wrong happening in Amaryllis, you can almost always pin it for being the Coldwell's fault. Bullying it's probably the least surprising thing this little demons have been accused of- Still, their rein over this institution and your worried little mind ends today, she doesn't care if she lost her job or if they try ruining her life by blackmailing her and such-
They can try but she is pretty sure they won't have any luck finding her, what can I say, she is good at burning evidence. What worries her though it's what will happen to you if they ever try to take their frustrations out on you again. She can't allow that to happen, you'll end up getting hurt and she'll feel awful if it was because of her interference in the case.
You need her help after all, right? You did come to her asking for guidance, and clearly you know nothing about physical self-defense- You clearly need someone to take care of you dearest. She needs to plan this out carefully, not only so the twins aren't allowed in school's grounds but to hopefully be able to guide you even if she is not your teacher anymore. But how could she have you near her everyday after classes?
I wonder what plan comes to her mind.
🎆: 🍋Delinquent's Timeline🐍
You have been the target of bullying for some weeks now, ever since you crossed some rich kids while going to your college. Fortunately for you, they didn't seem to go the same college as you did- Yet what you should have known was that nothing in life could have been so simple, you would still see them again over and over again after that incident. You started to feel anxious knowing that they were probably stalking you to know exactly when and where to find you, and since you already have to deal with going to a horrible institution and fearing for your own safety everyday.
You bought pepper spray so you could defend yourself not only from your stalkers but also from any possible classmate that could end up trying something weird with you.
That's when the incident happened, you were minding your own business when they came looking for trouble. You took the opportunity to finally put a stop on this by spraying their eyes with it.
✳️🍋Delinquents🐍:
→ Jackson Macnee:
He doubts you noticed that he was there when that happened, he doubts that you even care if he is staring at you at all- He always thought you were probably too scared of him to even tell him to stop, most people aren't scared of his appearance but are at least aware of his title, so they at least respect the path he walks. He is already used to this.
But let me tell you, to see the Coldwells come so near his territory seemed pretty interesting at first- Until he discovered why they were dumb enough to come here. He didn't know you were being bullied, let alone by these brats- He did notice you had changed your behavior recently, although he didn't pay any attention to it because he thought you were just getting accustomed with the way things work around Saint's Bernard hellhole of a place.
He was hoping that maybe you were just having issues with settling in- It is a rough place after all, and although he wishes deep down to be able to help you feel stronger he still feels like he shouldn't make you do something you don't want to. If you wished to talk to him, you should just go straight to him (even if he is aware of how terrifying that could be).
However, Jack was so far from the truth. His assumptions were confirmed fake after he saw the twins Coldwell treat you like he treated him- It was unbearable to watch, it was like he was seeing his past collide with his present self, you were reminding him of all the things he hated about himself, while also bringing his blood to boil in a desperate need to help you out. Yet he didn't need to do anything about it, you managed to defend yourself on your own.
It wasn't as rewarding to watch as he wanted it to be, but you sure did crack their ego pretty badly- He shouldn't have doubted you, after all he has been stalking you for so long, he should have known what you were capable of doing. Still, he doesn't trust the Coldwells enough to just let them run away like that, they would probably come back soon.
In the meantime, this should be a good excuse to get to talk with you, right? You clearly need some actual training, some flimsy pepper spray bottle isn't going to stop them from coming back. I hope you're ready to be trained by a lovesick delinquent, he won't be soft until he knows you can stand on your own.
→ Jannette Sartorius
She doubts you noticed that she was there when that happened, she doubts that you even care if she is staring at you at all- She always thought you were probably too scared of her to even tell her to stop, most people are scared of her. She is trying to get used to it.
Janette thinks she has every reason to observe you from afar, you're beautiful and you seem too precious to be in a place as horrible as this one, it must suck a lot for you to be somewhere like this-Seeing people like her.
She considered calling you to join her gang, but she is sure that you'll probably deny the offer- Physical confrontation was never your thing right? She can respect that.
Although you don't talk with her, or even interact with the other students at all, she did notice you were acting a bit more- Reclusive these days. Something was wrong, and sadly she would have to find out about it way too late.
Janette didn't know the twins personally, she knew they were rich and famous but- Yeah, she didn't really care about knowing anything about them, they're just some pretty faces amongst the others in the fashion industry. She does envy them a little bit, but tries to avoid anything relating to them since she feels self-conscious looking at their pictures. Now she has a new reason to hate their porcelain faces, they were stalking you.
They were stalking you and taunting you, and if you didn't do anything to stop them she would have already jumped in. They were alone, and honestly she doubts they have any idea of how to go one on one with someone- There is no way these brats have any experience in fighting, right?
Well, she didn't get to know that since they ran away after you sprayed their faces with pepper spray, clever girl.
She knows this is probably not the end of this, they did threaten to come back and hurt you for defending yourself. But you know- She doesn't plan on letting that happen, not again. Consider yourself lucky cause now you just got a new best friend who I set on protecting you.
Is there something wrong with that? Aren't you happy with being her friend? Well, you could just go to "girlfriends" if that's what you want- She wouldn't mind it at all.
Janette prefers to take care of you without you having to watch her beat someone's ass- But she could teach you a few things if you wished to, hey, spending time with someone so cool it's always nice, so of course she'll take every chance she can to spend as much time with you as possible.
🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭
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sweetlysilent · 3 years
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Apartment 509 (Epilogue)
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Pairing: Roomate!Fuckboy!Tom x Reader
Summary: To happy endings and new beginnings.
A/N: *taps mic* Is this thing on? Hello everyone! Wow it’s been a long time since I’ve updated this story. I’ve quite literally made y’all wait years for this epilogue and I’m so sorry for that. However, the time has finally come for it to end. I can’t even begin to express how grateful and appreciative I am for all of you that have stuck by me and read it along the way. I had so much fun writing this story and sharing it with all of you. That being said, I hope you all enjoy the end to Apartment 509. Much love. ❤️
Apartment 509 (Masterlist) | Main Masterlist
Six years later..
If someone were to tell you years ago that you’d fall in love with your roommate you would have laughed and told them that they were crazy. That you weren’t that type of person to fall into that fantasy story. 
Boy were you wrong about that. 
If you were being honest you weren’t sure if you were ever going to find your person, a part of you had given up, just accepting the fact that you’d be single forever, but then the universe threw it’s plan at you like a ton of bricks. You truly never expected to fall in love the way you did, but now you couldn’t be more grateful. 
Becoming roommates with Tom and Jacob was the best thing to ever happen to you, not only was the apartment a saving grace for your time of need, but you made new friends and you found your person as well. 
Needless to say Tom and you didn’t get along so well in the beginning which was no surprise there, you couldn’t stand fuckboys, and that’s what intrigued him more about you. You never saw yourself dating the type of person you used to despise, yet you proved yourself wrong.
You couldn’t help but let out a quiet laugh, thinking back at all the memories of the past couple years. It was definitely a wild ride, something you were surprised you made it out of, but with Tom by your side you knew you could accomplish anything. 
“What is that beautiful mind thinking of?” His voice snapped you out of your thoughts, causing you to turn your head and look at him. “Just thinking about how insane these past few years have been, how much my life has changed, how much yours has too.” You smiled softly at him, your fingers tracing his cheek gently. 
Tom adjusted himself under the sheet covers, pulling you closer to his chest as he pressed a light kiss to your forehead. “I will agree to that, so much has happened to us, but I couldn’t be more thankful and blessed.” He hummed, his fingers caressing your back soothingly. 
You melted into his touch, a smile on your lips as your eyes fluttered shut at the feeling. You both laid in silence for a few moments, just enjoying one another’s presence, until Tom lifted his head causing you to open your eyes.
“As much as I love laying here with you darling, we do have a party we have to start getting ready for.” Tom whispered, his voice soft and calm as you pouted, burying your face into his shoulder, pressing a faint kiss to his bare skin.
“I know, but I’d love to spend all day in bed with you.” You whined, making him chuckle, his chest vibrating making you smile widely. “I would love that too, but our friends wouldn’t want to experience this.” He teased, making you laugh and pull away from him.
“You’re right.” You huffed out, staring at the ceiling as Tom grinned at your childish behavior, something he thought was adorable. “Plus, we have two little munchkins who will destroy this house if we don’t get out there.” He pointed out, causing your eyes to widen just at the thought. 
“Do you know how long it took to get jelly out of Mason’s hair the other day?” You glanced over at him, “An hour. A full hour Thomas! That boy thought it was your hair gel and wanted to be like his daddy.” You squinted your eyes at him as he gave you a sheepish smile. 
“What can I say, he has good style! Just needs to use the right products and well.. Not food to do it.” Tom laughed, hopping out of the comfortable bed before you could whack his arm. You gave him a playful glare as he winked at you, disappearing into the bathroom. 
You let out a content sigh, hearing the water run in the bathroom as you looked around the bedroom. Your life was completely different than how it was five years ago. 
Not only did you graduate college, while being pregnant might you add, but you also started dating Tom. Once you gave birth to your beautiful baby boy Mason, you and Tom decided it was time to start house hunting. You both knew the apartment wasn’t a big enough space for a child, plus you both didn’t want to bother Jacob as well.
You both had been saving up money for a while, wanting to eventually find a house to buy, and then one day while you were searching online, you found your dream home. You quickly ran out to show Tom, and the second he saw it his eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning.
Within the next two hours you and Tom went to go walk through the house, whilst Jacob being the best friend he is, babysat Mason. Tom and you knew once you got done walking through the beautiful home that it was perfect. 
You both did some talking with the realtor, sorting out some things with the house and land, but in the end, you both decided that it was too perfect to pass up. A couple more hours of signing papers and details that Tom ended up taking over, you both were now the new owners of a gorgeous home.
Needless to say you both were extremely excited.
Once you both returned to the apartment Tom was eager to break the news to Jacob, who was super happy for the both of you. You let the two boys talk while you took Mason back to your room, getting a bottle ready for him.
Over the course of a couple weeks you both moved things out of the apartment and into your new house, with the help of Jacob, Harrison, and Madison of course. Once everything was finally moved in you all had dinner and relaxed. 
You were extremely thankful to have such amazing friends.
Weeks after you started living in your new house, things were going great, you both along with Mason were the happiest you’d ever been. However, you were nowhere near prepared for what was about to happen.
You came home one day after being out with Madison, she had wanted to do a fun girls day, of course you were a bit anxious, you didn’t want to leave Mason, but Tom convinced you to go have fun and that he could watch him.
So, you ended up going out with her and having a blast, you didn’t realize how bad you needed to get out and let go. You both ended up getting your hair and nails done, along with some lovely shopping. 
By the time you arrived back at your house it was evening, you bid Madison goodbye, making your way up to your front door, only to enter and see rose petals scattered along the floor, small lit candles making a path for you to follow. 
You couldn’t help but smile, shaking your head at how adorable he was being. You set your bags down at the door, following the lit path and rose petals that lead you outside to the backyard. However, Tom was nowhere to be found.
You glanced around the yard, your eyes landing on a small folded up letter on the glass table.
My dearest Y/N, 
As you can see I’m nowhere to be found, but what you can find is a stunning red dress that I know you’d look gorgeous in. Meet me at our favorite place. 
Love, Tom
You couldn’t help but smile widely at his cheesiness, but you loved it just as much. You opened the box that was underneath the letter, a beautiful red dress sitting prettily in it. With zero hesitation you rushed back into the house, slipping into the dress, admiring how it hugged your body in all the right places.
You made sure your makeup and hair looked good, and then you headed down the stairs, grabbing your car keys and heading out the door. The drive to the area wasn’t too long, you knew it like the back of your hand. 
About ten minutes later you pulled up to the place, the sun had begun to set, causing the sky to turn into a beautiful sunset. You got out of the car, seeing more rose petals and candles creating a path for you.
You began to follow them along the wooden path, your eyes widening when you saw Tom standing in the middle of the field. His head snapped over towards you, his eyes drinking you in as you smiled warmly at him. 
He looked extremely good, he was dressed up in a black suit, his hair slightly gelled back but not too much to the point where you couldn’t see his curls. The river of water flowed behind him, as a light warm breeze blew. 
You carefully made your way towards him, your nerves skyrocketing as you got closer. Eventually you made it up to him, a happy yet nervous smile on your face as you stood in front of him. 
“I see you found my note.” He grinned teasingly, making you laugh and nod your head as he grabbed your hands gently in his. “This whole thing is beautiful Tom, the dress, the roses and candles, our place, the sunset.” You gushed, a wide smile on your lips as he smiled adoringly at you.
“I’m glad you like it.” He rubbed your hands with the pads of his thumbs. “Like it? Tom I love it, this is perfect.” You smiled at him as he grinned. “I do have to ask though, what is all of this for? Did I forget a date night?” You tilted your head at him slightly, watching as he inhaled a deep breath.
“No, no you didn’t forget a date night.” He let out a small chuckle, clearing his throat as his nerves started to set in. 
“I did all of this because tonight is a special night, it’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a while, but it was never the right time, until now.” He nervously spoke, his eyes fixed on yours as you felt your heart starting to race in your chest. 
“The day we met I knew that you were the one, of course we had our ups and downs but that just made us stronger into who we are today.” Tom began, licking his lips as he held your hands in his, his palms getting sweaty.
“I was a broken guy who slept with random girls to fill a void I was missing, I never knew what love was, until I met you.” He smiled warmly at you, making you smile in response. “I look at us now and I always think, ‘wow, I am so lucky to have this wonderful person in my life, I don’t know what I’d do without them.’” He chuckled, making you laugh quietly with him, tears rimming your eyes.
“Not only that but we have our amazing son Mason and I couldn’t be more grateful.” He beamed, squeezing your hands. 
“Y/N, you have brought so much happiness and joy into my life, I love waking up with you sleeping next to me, I love taking care of Mason with you, I love making so many memories together, but most importantly, I love you so much, so..” He paused, letting go of your hands as he got down on one knee, pulling a small black box out of his jacket pocket.
You covered your mouth with your hands, tears slipping down your cheeks as he opened the box revealing the most gorgeous diamond ring you had ever seen. 
“Y/N, will you marry me?” He looked up at you, his own eyes brimming with tears as you nodded your head rapidly. “Yes! One hundred percent yes!” You cried out as he quickly stood, taking a step towards you as he pulled you into a passionate kiss. 
You both broke away, laughter leaving both your mouths as tears slipped down each of your cheeks. Tom held your hand, slipping the blinding ring onto your finger with shaky hands.
“I love you so much.” He murmured, pulling you in for another kiss as you smiled against his lips, “I love you so much more.” You whispered against his, making him smile widely in response.
What you didn’t expect next was for all your friends to emerge out of hiding, cheers erupting from their mouths making you and Tom both smile brightly. Madison was holding Mason while Harrison was taking pictures of the entire proposal. Jacob was clapping and holding a bottle of champagne.
Needless to say, it was the most magical and special proposal you’d ever had.
“You’re still in bed?” You heard your husband chuckle, your eyes darting over to see him all dressed and looking sexy as ever. “Of course, it’s comfy here, plus I was just thinking about the day you proposed to me.” You grinned at him as his cheeks flushed a light shade of red.
“That day and our wedding day will forever be two of my most favorite moments in life.” He smiled lovingly at you, walking over and pressing a short kiss to your lips. “What are the other ones?” You questioned, curious about what he was going to say. 
“Well obviously having Mason and Henry.” Tom stated as if it was basic knowledge, making you snort in response as he smirked at you. “Now go get ready, we have less than three hours to get the house prepped and to tell everyone the big news.” Tom squinted his eyes at you making you laugh and raise your hands in surrender.
“Alright! I’m going, I'm going!” You smiled as you got out of bed, waving him off as you went into the bathroom this time. You spent the next twenty minutes getting ready and tidying up the bedroom. Once you were satisfied with how everything looked, you headed out of the bedroom.
You made your way down the stairs, hearing numerous voices filling your ears as you walked into the kitchen, a smile forming on your lips as you saw Tom helping Mason and Henry. “Look at my three little helpers.” You cooed, hands on your hips as Tom grinned at you, Mason and Henry running over towards you.
“Mom! Look what we did!” Mason tugged on your hand excitedly as Henry held your other hand. You let the boys walk you over towards the counter, your face lighting up at the vase of followers. 
“These are beautiful boys, did you cut them to fit the vase all by yourselves?” You beamed at the two of them as they nodded excitedly, eyes wide. “Yes! With daddy’s help.” Henry giggled, making you laugh and pull them both in for a hug.
“Well they look amazing, uncle Harrison and aunt Maddie are going to love them.” You ruffled their hair as they let out a chorus of laughter. Tom however was simply standing off to the side and watching the entire thing, his heart warming at the three people he loved the most. 
“Boys, do you want to help me go grab some drinks from the garage?” Tom chimed in, seeing their heads snap over in pure excitement of helping. You couldn’t help but let out a laugh as they went running off in the direction of the garage, a grin on Tom’s lips as he winked at you, following after the two kids.
While Tom had the kids distracted for a moment you spent the next couple minutes organizing the kitchen, making it look presentable and tidy. Once they came back they helped place the drinks on the table, before going outside to play for a bit.
You and Tom spent that time fixing up the rest of the main floor, picking up shoes and toys. Soon enough you heard the doorbell ring throughout the house before footsteps and voices could be heard.
“Your favorite people are here!” Madison announced as she walked into the kitchen, a beaming smile on her face as a guy followed behind her. “Oooh, who is this?” You teased, raising your eyebrows as Madison smiled widely, wrapping her arm around the guys bicep. 
“You remember Andrew right?” She wiggled her eyebrows as your eyes widened in surprise. “It’s about damn time!” You cheered, making her and Andrew laugh in response. “It took some time, but he finally asked me to be his girlfriend.” She beamed as Andrew kissed her forehead gently.
“I wasted so much time, I don’t know what the past me was thinking.” He chuckled, making the both of you smile. “Well, I’m glad you two are finally together, you make a great couple and seem so happy.” You congratulated them as Madison broke away from Andrew to give you a hug.
You eventually broke away, walking over to give Andrew a welcoming hug as well and telling him to make himself at home. You knew how much Madison liked Andrew, she had been crushing on him for as long as you could remember. You felt your heart sore at the sight of them, she deserved nothing but happiness and she was finally getting it.
You decided to let them be on their own, going to look for Tom when you heard another pair of voices enter the house. The familiar blonde hair coming into view, a girl also following behind him, as well as Jacob.
You smiled warmly at them all as Tom walked into the kitchen, a smile on his lips as he did his hand shake with the two of them.
“Hey man, I’m glad you all could make it.” Tom greeted them, his eyes landing on the girl then back at Harrison. He gave a small grin as Tom’s eyes widened in surprise.
You however watched this entire interaction in confusion, until your eyes darted down to the girls hand. Your jaw dropping in shock, eyes wide as you made the connection.
“Everyone, this is Natalie, my fiancée.” Harrison introduced her as all of you clapped and cheered, making the two of them blush and laugh. “We’re so happy for the both of you.” Jacob congratulated them as they smiled lovingly at one another.
“I knew you’d find your person.” You smiled happily at the blonde as he smiled back. “Thank you for always believing in me.” He spoke softly, giving you a side hug as you returned it. “Always.” You smiled.
Once you two let go you glanced over at Madison who lifted her glass into the air, clanking a knife against it. “Since we’re doing introductions, I’d also like to introduce you all to someone.” She grinned as Andrew stood beside her, his face flushed.
“Everyone this is my boyfriend Andrew, Andrew this is Tom, Harrison, Natalie, and Jacob.” Madison spoke happily as they all greeted each other. “It’s about time you two got together.” Tom grinned as Harrison and Jacob smirked to one another.
“Does everyone know how much you liked me?” Andrew teased as Madison laughed, shrugging her shoulders. “I wasn’t exactly subtle about it.” She admitted, making you all laugh, shaking your heads at the two of them.
You all talked for a while, catching up and just having a good time together, eventually Mason and Henry came inside saying they were hungry. You all then decided to eat, grabbing all different types of foods that were spread out on the numerous counters.
You all gathered around your outdoor table, chatting amongst each other, sharing stories and laughing. This was the happiest you had seen everyone in a while, nobody once showed any signs of unhappiness or negativity. 
You were listening to Madison and Andrew tell a story about a girl they work with, everyone’s focus on them when you felt Tom’s hand grip your thigh gently. Looking over at him he rose his eyebrows at you in a questioning manner as you smiled at him, nodding your head.
You both waited for them to finish telling the story, laughter leaving all of your mouths as Mason and Henry ate their food happily, not fazed by them talking at all.
Once everyone’s laughter died down, Tom rose from his chair, clearing his throat as everyone’s attention focused on him. “I just wanted to start off by saying thank you all for coming, Y/N and I love having you all over, as do Mason and Henry.” He chuckled as the boys smiled goofily at him in response.
“However, Y/N and I have been keeping something from you all for a while, two things actually.” Tom grinned, watching as curious expressions washed over their faces. “We wanted to hold this little gathering to tell you all the amazing news because you’re such important people in our lives.” He explained as everyone smiled at him in response.
“Come on Holland, you’re killing us here.” Madison teased, eager to know what the big surprise was. Tom let out a laugh as did everyone else as he raised his hands in surrender. “Okay okay, the first half of the big news is..” He trailed off, a bright smile on his face.
“I got the role as Spiderman, I’m going to be in the next Marvel movie!” He excitedly spoke, watching as everyone’s eyes widened in pure shock and surprise as you beamed up at him. “That’s amazing man!” Harrison cheered, standing up within an instant and giving his friend a tight hug.
“Wow that’s crazy! I can totally see it though!” Madison congratulated, excusing herself from her chair, joining the hug with Tom and Harrison. “How long have you been keeping that a secret mate?” Harrison chuckled as Tom smirked.
“For the past couple months, it’s been hard, you know how bad I am at keeping spoilers.” Tom laughed as you nodded your head in agreement. “You have no idea how many times I had to cut him off or stop him from accidentally almost posting something on social media.” You teased, making him pout in response.
“It was only a couple of times!” He whined, making you all laugh as you rolled your eyes playfully. “Sure Tommy, whatever you say.” You cooed, making him smile in response. 
“Wait, you said there was something else as well that you wanted to tell us?” Madison spoke up, now standing next to Harrison who looked at everyone then back at Tom. “Yes! You are right.” He nodded his head, clapping his hands.
“However, this part is connected to my new job, except it’s not my place to share it.” He grinned happily as his eyes landed on Jacob who rose from his seat. “I also got a job, I needed to get away from my old one, so I took a leap of faith and I auditioned with Tom and I ended up getting the role of Peter Parker’s best friend, Ned Leeds.” He stated happily as everyone clapped loudly.
“That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you!” Madison cheered, giving him a hug as well as Harrison grinned at his two friends. “Wow so many good things are happening for everyone.” Natalie smiled warmly at the group of people surrounding her.
“It gets better though.” Tom chimed in, catching everyone’s attention once more. “I was told I could have an assistant.” He suggestively spoke, his eyes training over towards Harrison whose eyes widened in shock.
“Wait- Are you?” He stammered as Tom nodded his head, seeing Harrison’s face light up. He quickly turned to Natalie, wanting her opinion as she smiled warmly at him. “It’s a great opportunity Haz, take it.” She encouraged him as he pulled her in for a tight hug, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “I love you so much.” He murmured as she whispered it back.
He broke away eventually, turning to face his friend as he held his hand out. “You got yourself an assistant mate.” He grinned as Tom shook his hand excitedly, an ecstatic expression on his face.
“This day just keeps getting better and better.” Madison laughed as Andrew wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “It’s not even done yet.” You smirked, seeing her jaw drop in response. “There’s more news? Lord what have you all been up to.” She laughed as you also stood from your chair, walking next to Tom.
“Well, as you know we live in a beautiful home now, we have our two amazing boys who are busy engulfing that blueberry pie.” You paused to laugh as everyone looked over at the two of them shoveling forkfuls of the sugary substance.
You shook your head in amusement as you trained your focus back on everyone, “Tom and I were talking a while ago about something and well..” You turned to look at your husband who was already beaming with excitement. 
“Wait hold on, are you-” Madison began, eyes wide as Tom grinned happily. “We’re pregnant again!” He cheered as everyone let out gasps of surprise as you both laughed.
“No freakin’ way!” Madison shouted excitedly, rushing over to give you a tight hug as Harrison and Jacob went to hug Tom. Natalie and Andrew smiled at the group, even though they were new they could see how much they all meant to each other.
“This is insane! You’re having another little Holland.” She screeched, making you laugh as you nodded your head. “Crazy right? We decided we wanted to have one more, Tom’s really hoping it’ll be a girl.” You smiled warmly at your friend as she covered her mouth, still in shock.
You glanced behind her seeing Andrew watching from his seat, you waved him over as he smiled and walked up to the both of you. “Congratulations Y/N.” He smiled as you thanked him. 
“Who knows, maybe you two will be having your own little kids running around soon.” You wiggled your eyebrows at the two of them as they both let out laughs. “Hey now, slow down there, we’re nowhere near ready for that yet.” Madison shook her head as Andrew smirked. 
“We’re taking everything one step at a time.” He agreed, nodding his head as Madison kissed his cheek gently. “That’s good to hear, I’m truly so happy for the two of you again.” You smiled at the two of them, rubbing Madison’s shoulder before breaking off to go over to Tom.
“So you’re going to have three little ones running around soon huh?” Harrison grinned as you walked up to Tom, wrapping your arm around his bicep. “Yup, and I can’t wait.” He chuckled as you leaned your head against his arm.
“Well, I can already tell that they’re going to grow up in a wonderful and loving family.” Natalie chimed in making your heart warm at her words. “Thank you, that’s very sweet of you to say.” You replied happily as Harrison wrapped an arm around her waist.
“If there’s anyone who’s fit for parenthood it’s you two.” Harrison agreed, making Tom smile. “Thanks mate, that means a lot.” He nodded his head at his friend as Jacob smiled. “Today really has been full of surprises huh?” He chuckled, making everyone laugh.
“It really has.” Harrison agreed, chuckling as Madison and Andrew walked up to them, glasses of champagne being handed out. “Not for you though, you get some lovely apple cider.” She teased, making you laugh.
Once everyone had a glass she raised hers into the air.
“I wanted to start this speech off by saying thank you for inviting us all here today, it means a lot that you would want to share all of this with us.” She began, looking around at everyone. 
“That being said, here’s to friendship, family members who couldn’t be here with us today but are in spirit; along with family members we haven’t met yet, and new opportunities.” She smiled as she spoke as everyone listened quietly.
“We have all grown so much over the past years and I can’t wait for more amazing things to happen for all of us. I love you all.” She sniffled, getting slightly emotional as everyone smiled. She let out a quiet laugh, raising her glass out to everyone.
“Cheers to that!” Tom shouted as everyone cheered along with him, glasses clinking together as everyone took a sip.
After that Jacob decided to turn some music on, grooving around to the tunes as Madison and Andrew joined him, Harrison and Natalie joining as well. Whilst Mason and Henry were busy playing around in the yard as you turned to look at Tom.
He tilted his head down to look at you, his warm brown eyes scanning over your face as you made a funny face at him. He couldn’t help but laugh before pressing a soft loving kiss to your lips. 
The kiss was short and sweet, but you could feel every ounce of love he put into it, something you’d cherish forever.
You both glanced around the backyard, looking at all the people that meant the world to you, content smiles on both of your faces as you held each other's hands. Tom’s thumb rubbing over yours as a smirk made its way onto his lips as he dragged you out to the dance floor. 
You let out a laugh as he pulled you close to his chest, his arms wrapping around your waist as yours comfortably hung around his neck, your bodies swaying together. Laughter soon filled the air as everyone danced, having a blast together.
It was as if the skies cleared and the sun finally shone down on everyone.
Tom smiled down at you as you caressed his cheek lovingly.
“This is it huh?” You hummed, watching as he let out a chuckle. “Seems that way, things are only going to go up from here.” He replied happily, making you smile. 
“As long as I’m with you, nothing else matters.” You murmured, his heart racing at your words as if it was the first time he heard them. “You complete me Y/N, forever and always.” He softly spoke, before pressing his lips against yours in a passionate kiss.
You eventually broke apart, your heart thumping wildly in your chest as he held you close, his eyes pouring into yours as you melted in his touch. You caressed his cheek once more, pulling him back in for a soft kiss.
“Forever and always.”
The End. 
- ❁ -
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dizzydancingdreamer · 3 years
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Going To Disney With The Avengers Gang™ | Planning The Trip
Part One of my "Going To Disney With The Avengers Gang™" headcanon series
Includes: (The Whole Gang) Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, Wanda Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff, Vision, Sam Wilson, Bruce Banner, Stephen Strange, Thor Odinson, Loki Laufeyson
Word Count: 3.9k
Relationships: The Avengers x F!Reader, Ambiguous; just how we like it ;)
Going To Disney With The Avengers Gang™ Master List
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→The whole idea starts when the team is lounging at the compound doing regular™ team things
→A.K.A Wanda, y/n, Pietro, and Vision are in a pile on one of the couches cuddling, Clint and Nat are across the room playing pool, Bucky is making ramen in the kitchen, Steve is trying to convince Bucky to add an egg or something for more protein, Bruce and Stephen are talking neuroscience and bickering over techniques of spinal fluid something, Thor and Loki are fighting over the remote before Loki finally rolls his eyes and picks up the book y/n had left on the coffee table, Sam is asleep on the floor, and Tony is just tired
→In the madness though he picks up on the conversation happening between the four people on the couch
→“You’ve never been to Disney World?”
→Three rounds of “no” “nope” “I’ve only had a body for a year, y/n. When would I have gone to Disney World?”
→”Okay, yeah, good point, Vis. But y’all would love it. I haven’t been since high school but I want to go again so bad. We need a vacation.”
→Tony doesn’t even stick around to hear the rest, he’s already walking away while speaking to FRIDAY, telling her start pulling up the Disney site and analyzing it, disappearing to his lab and using all of his monitors to compare the resorts and try to decide where to stay that everyone would like (and where they would all fit because there’s too many of them)
→It doesn’t take him long to realize they’re going to need large accommodations
→Bruce is the first to notice that he’s gone, sneaking into the lab and scaring the hell out of Tony
→“Whatcha’ doing?”
→“Ah shit-- Bruce! How are you so quiet?”
→And then he points to the seven open listings on the monitors and explains that the team needs a break and that he heard y/n talking about Disney World and that he wants to surprise the team-- Bruce agrees immediately (the man is always in need of relaxation)-- and that’s how the team’s geek squad ends up playing Disney Dad #1 and Disney Dad #2 and planning the most extravagant vacation in less than three hours
→They have it down to a science after the first twenty minutes-- dividing what needs to be done and tackling it individually while bouncing ideas off one another
→“Do you think they want to eat at Beauty and The Beast Castle or Ariel’s Grotto the second night?” “I’m not sure-- book them both.” “Tony we can’t--” “FRIDAY, book them both.” “You got it Mr. Stark.”
→There’s a lot of Bruce wondering if what they’re booking is too expensive and even more of Tony reminding him that he’s a literal billionaire and that he could buy the Disney company if he wanted to-- that still doesn’t stop Bruce from suggesting more frugal methods from time to time-- it only makes Tony want to spend even more money because you need to lighten up, Banner
→The next person who realizes Tony and Bruce are gone is-- surprisingly-- Sam
→Honestly it’s only because he has to pass Tony’s lab on the way back from his room and he sticks his head in to tell them that “Romanoff and Barton ordered pizza if y’all want any… holy crap is that Disney World? Are we going to Dis--”
→Tony literally grabs him by the collar and tells him to hush it, birdman before pulling him into the room and explaining his plans for the second time-- “Yes, we are going to Disney World and I want it to be a surprise.”
→Sam just nods, his eyes on the screen and his brows beginning to push down and-- “Okay but why are you booking dinner at Mickey’s Backyard Barbecue on the same day that you have fast passes for World of Color at Epcot?”
→And Tony and Bruce blink and are just like “What?”
→And Sam is already at the computer, fingers stuttering over the weird ass hoverscreens while pulling up the page which shows that the World of Color has a whole ass dining experience-- Tony and Bruce have no clue that was even a thing-- and suddenly Sam is the one telling them what to plan because, as it turns out, this man loves Disney World and has been upwards of thirteen times and knows it inside and out
→Thank gods for Sam because these two Disney Dads™ were really shooting blindly into the abyss of trip planning without ever having gone to Disney World-- he has to shift around fast passes, dining reservations, water park tickets, and even the family portrait session that Tony demanded Bruce add
→He shows them all the things they don’t even think to plan-- firework shows, dessert parties, literally all of Downtown Disney-- Tony wants to be mad but he’s too busy picking his jaw up off the floor when Sam manages to book them for an After Dark Party in Magic Kingdom
→Bruce gets so excited when Sam tells him that’s a thing that he almost gives the plan away when Natasha comes rushing to see what all the noise is (it’s Banner jumping up and down like a toddler) -- he has to rush to the doorway, make up a lie about him dropping a piece of equipment, and then walk her back to the common area and play a round of pool with her to keep her questions at bay
→It’s all fine because Sam puts the final touches on the plan and has Tony give the order for FRIDAY to book it all and then it’s ready to tell the team
→They sneak back into the common area, it’s nine pm and everyone just looks so worn out
→Stephen is literally half way to snoring, legs curled under him on the love seat, doing that thing people do when they’re falling asleep and their head slumps and then they spring back awake, repeating the process an embarrassing amount of times but nobody’s even paying attention
→Steve and Bucky are talking quietly in the corners about whether or not they should just go to sleep because it’s Thursday and there’s really no point in staying up any longer
→Clint and Thor are sharing a bag of popcorn and half watching John Wick while discussing the inaccuracies of the movie-- “If he had a bow none of this would have happened.” “Or a hammer.” “Yeah, that too.”
→Yeah, they’re exhausted, and it makes the Disney Dads™ and Sam that much more excited to share the news
→Sam’s twiddling his hands behind his back and sharing smiles with Banner who’s trying to keep his excitement at bay and Tony is rolling his eyes but smiling too and for a moment nobody notices their cheshire grins and nervous foot tapping until finally y/n lifts her head from Pietro’s chest-- who complains at the action and lifts his head too-- and lazily asks
→“Tones, what on earth are you smiling about?”
→And the man opens his mouth but before he can even get the words out Bruce and Sam are already jumping up and down again and screaming “We’re going to Disney World!”
→And the room goes dead silent for three beats-- one, two, three-- and it feels like a million seconds and Tony’s face is dropping slowly and he’s ready to be like sike and then she jumps up, literally stepping on Pietro’s stomach, hurtling the back of the couch like a damn track star and rushing the man at full force, flinging herself at him and jumping into his arms and there are tears streaming down her face and she’s screaming
→“Tony you didn’t! Oh my gods you didn’t! You’re lying oh my god no! Are you serious?”
→And he’s nodding but he still can’t get a word in edgewise because she’s still rambling-- “You heard me oh my gods! You heard me and you did it! Tony that’s insane and reckless and oh my god I love you! Are we actually going? This isn’t a trick? Please don’t let this be a trick!”
→And he just laughs and spins her around and tells her that no, this isn’t a trick I’m not the mischief god here and Loki rolls his eyes but he’s also kind of excited despite the frown on his face
→They’re all excited
→Pietro and Wanda and screaming with Sam, slapping each other and just full on freaking out like children, incoherent and happy and raring to just go already
→In turn this wakes Stephen up who hears the madness and jumps up, on edge and ready to literally fight before he realizes what’s going on and calmly sits back down, nodding his head but not speaking because if this literal grown man opens his mouth he knows he’s going to freak out too because holy shit Disney World-- even sorcerers like Disney!
→Steve and Bucky are kind of confused-- they just barely remember Snow White when it came out but Disney World? They made a-- what is it? A theme park? Regardless they’re excited, ready to break the old men lull they’ve fallen into-- Bucky hears y/n ask if Tony booked water park tickets and gets super excited
→Vision is also confused but he sees everyone getting turnt over Disney World and decides that he is also excited-- Wanda momentarily stops being hyped up to ask him if he’s waterproof in which he goes into explicit detail about how yes, he is and he’ll show her if she’d like and she has to slap her hands over his mouth and tell him to hush
→Thor and Clint also turn into children but they’re the run around the room yelling types as opposed to the stand in a circle and scream types-- the gang is apparently just like fifteen children who barely manage to get things done apparently because they’re all hyped as fuck
→Clint sprints over to Nat whose hands are already up, ready to fight the man off because she knows what’s coming, but he’s too fast and too happy and uses all his assassin training to dodge her kick, grabbing her around the waist and spinning her around until she’s giggling and slapping his back
→“Natty we’re going to fucking Disney World!”
→“I know you lug, I heard Stark too. Let me down!”
→He doesn’t-- he just shakes her harder, cheering with the rest of them
→Thor slumps down next to his brother, nudging his shoulder-- “Migardians are strange”-- and Loki nods but pulls out his phone and starts looking up what’s actually at Disney World and-- “Look, brother, our home… wait is that us?”-- and the brothers get sucked into a rabbit hole of the Norwegian pavilion and whatever the hell the Frozen ride is and why their pictures are there
→It takes thirty minutes for everyone to calm down enough for them to actually have a conversation about what on earth Tony and Bruce and Sam did-- it takes another ten minutes after that for Stephen to finally break through the chatter to ask the most important question-- “Guys, seriously. You can ask about the plans after. The main question here is when are we going.”
→And Tony glances at Bruce and shrugs and is like “Tomorrow.”
→And they all erupt again-- y/n and Wanda because they have to pack and Stephen because normal people don’t just up and go on Vacation, you’re supposed to make time and Clint and Pietro because holy shit we’re going to Disney tomorrow!-- but Tony just brushes the worry off and reminds them-- again-- that they’re superheroes and that he’s a billionaire and that they can go on vacation whenever they damn want
→Cue fifteen more minutes of freaking out and y/n tackling Tony and then tackling Bruce and then, finally, tackling Sam who scoops her up and all but tosses her in the air before thanking her profusely for putting the idea in Tony’s brain
→They spend the next few minutes fangirling together-- Sam raves about all the food he’s going to eat-- Mickey bars, corn dogs, pretzels, those huge turkey legs-- and y/n talks about how she wants to get all the autographs she can-- especially Goofy and Pluto-- and then Sam mentions the After Dark Party and, like Bruce, she freaks out
→Finally Wanda has to split them up, grabbing y/n with one hand and hauling her over to the other redhead who’s still being held hostage by the resident archer and grabbing Nat with the other-- when Clint protests she curls her fingers, warning him with a pinch of red magic, and he holds his hands up, backing away slowly but telling Nat she’d better come see him before they leave
→On the way out Steve asks where they’re going and Wanda almost threatens him too until Nat tells him they’re going to pack for tomorrow-- he then turns to Bucky and reiterates the idea to a less than enthusiastic super soldier who tries to argue that I can pack in the morning but Steve just isn’t having it-- it takes five minutes but finally Buck agrees (but only after Steve says Bucky can just throw his stuff in his bag)
→The girls spend the rest of the night giggling and packing, holding up dresses and putting them down, shoving things in each other's bags and dancing to a playlist of oldies from Wanda’s phone-- Nat is the most boring packer but after some threats to get resident archer involved she gets her act together
→Pietro comes in when he’s done and Wanda scoffs at what he has packed but he only shrugs, slumping on y/n’s bed and giving her grabby hands until she rejoins him
→“But Pietro what if I forget something?”
→“You worry too much-- can’t Stange make portals?” He has a point
→What they all pack:
→Tony: Suits and graphic t-shirts. He’s either rolling up to Disney World in a Metallica t-shirt or a full three piece suit there’s no inbetween. He’s really not concerned about packing-- he can just buy whatever he needs there. After a text from y/n though he throws in a few pairs of shorts that he didn't even know he owned and his M.I.T. hoodie. He tops it off with a few gadgets he thinks he might need-- FRIDAY’s chip and some nanotech-- and he’s good to go. Billionaires don’t need to pack.
→Steve: Clothes and toiletries. Boring, basic, forgets swim trunks until he sees Bucky put his swim trunks and nothing else into Steve’s bag. That’s how he remembers most things actually; by looking at what Bucky doesn’t put into the bag. Along the way he suggests what the super soldier might want to pack while adding a few extra of his own just in case. After thinking about it for a few minutes he adds two books-- one for each of them. He also adds some tools-- a screwdriver and some pliers-- in case Bucky’s arm starts acting up. He’s sure Stark will have something but in case he doesn't, those will hold it over.
→Bucky: Swim trunks. And, when Steve begs, he grumbles and adds a few button downs and henleys. He also sneaks in a few knives, burying them in the henleys. He watches Steve pack for him though and leaves it at that-- what’s the point of packing when the super soldier can just do it for him? He’s not stupid-- he’s tired and Steve is fussy. He’ll have what he needs and if he doesn’t then he’ll just make y/n go swimming with him. Then he won’t need anything. Easy peasy.
→Nat: She’s the most level headed packer of the bunch, spare maybe Bruce and Sam. She Packs what she’ll need-- not too much and not too little. If anything she packs too many of Clint’s hoodies (three). Part of that, though, is her knowing that he’s probably going to forget one. She packs her normal toiletries, making sure to add an extra stick of deodorant and a bottle of Wanda’s red nail polish because-- despite the fact that she spends an hour watching Wanda pack her entire room-- she just knows that the woman forgot a bottle of that stuff and that she’ll be upset if her nails look chipped in the pictures. Wanda and y/n make her pack a bikini despite the fact that she has two scars from Bucky still and they threaten to get Clint involved if she tries to refuse-- “I suggest you put that little black number in that bag right now unless you want some aggressive compliments, you hear me woman?” She didn’t have to be told twice.
→Clint: Not as much as he should. Never as much as he should. He packs boxers, a pair of swim trunks, a few regular shirts and shorts (not enough), a couple nice shirts and a pair of jeans, and his toiletries. He’s gone longer with less but-- like-- he doesn’t have to this time? Nat walks into his room as he finishes packing and takes one look at his bag before marching to his closet and adding a hat, a pair of sunglasses, a jacket, a pair of sweatpants, and socks because who the hell doesn’t pack socks when they’re going to be walking around for days, how the hell are you an accomplished assassin Clint?
→Wanda: She literally packs as much as she can-- think the essentials times three and then some, like five different dresses, two leather jackets (even though y/n reminds her that Orlando is hot), her laptop and her ipad, two pairs of headphones. She has a notebook, a sketch book, and a regular book. Six bikinis and a one-piece. Three hats, four pairs of sunglasses, enough panties to last a month, let alone a week. She packs heels, boots, sneakers, flats, and sandals. Two purses and a backpack. Wanda Maximoff is the epitome of team mom-- anything Nat and y/n forget she’ll have it. She also packs a few things that she thinks Pietro will forget-- a few nice outfits for nights out and his main toiletries. Oh-- and sunscreen! Lots and lots of sunscreen!
→Pietro: Well, let's just say that it’s a good thing Wanda thinks to pack some things for Pietro because this man barely remembers his toothbrush let alone his phone charger. He gets the basics-- the bare necessities-- like three t-shirts, a pair of shorts, some (?) boxers, and like seven pairs of shoes because with how fast this man is he’s going to need them badly. He does, however, remember to pack his bathing suit and that’s more than a few people on the team can remember. Poor baby just wants to get there already-- he can just buy whatever he forgets.
→Vision: A very strange assortment of items. He doesn’t need clothes-- he can make whatever he would like appear on his body-- but he does want to feel included so Wanda gives him one of her backpacks and he puts like kind of random items into it. He sees a phone cord and shoves it in and like a hairbrush-- all items someone will need eventually but not him (later will find out that it’s the cord to Sam’s Iphone and will hand it over and have the audacity to say you’re welcome Samuel after doing it).
→Sam: He packs at least four ball caps. Nothing besides that really matters; he just knows how fucked you are if you don’t bring a hat and he’s bringing enough for the people who forget. As much as Bucky gets on his nerves he also packs him one. Besides that he packs normally-- t-shirts, shorts, shoes, socks, boxers-- all regular amounts. He freaks out a little when he can’t find his phone charger but he’ll just buy one when he gets there. He also brings a Polaroid camera and a shit ton of film-- some of his team members have never been and he will be documenting it all.
→Bruce: He’s the most boring packer and that isn’t a bad thing-- it’s the reason he has so many doctorates-- because he’s smart and level headed. He packs the clothes he needs with one extra of everything. He packs his toiletries. He doesn’t pack his whole room and he doesn’t pack nothing at all. He’s perfectly in the middle-- a Disney Dad™! He does, however, forget his swim trunks-- oops.
→Stephen: One backpack with a t-shirt, sweatpants, and swim trunks. That’s it. Why would he pack anything else? The man can open a portal whenever he needs! He’s always one step away from his bedroom! Stephen simply flicks his wrists and can change and rejoin the group in less time than it takes the rest of them to pull shit from their bags and wait for the washroom to free up. It’s actually a genius play.
→Loki: Despite being the most outwardly unenthusiastic he packs almost the exact same way that Wanda does. He’s a nervous packer. His brother laughs but, like, he has a point. Safe is better than sorry. It’s comical that he packs like five sweaters though considering that he can snap his fingers and make the sweater appear. All his clothes are either green or black. He packs at least one all black suit. Thor has to force him to add a red Hawaiian shirt and he scoffs at it and shoves it to the bottom. Definitely packs three pairs of swim trunks because he doesn’t like putting them one while they’re still wet. He doesn’t even know if he’s going to go swimming but he’s still doing it anyway. He also packs the scrunchie y/n gave him to keep his hair out of the way and when Thor tries to say shit about it he pulls a dagger from thin air and just chucks it. After dodging it Thor asks why don’t you just make your clothes appear the same way?
→Thor: Enough but, like, definitely not enough. The normal things but like less. He figures he’s going to be spending most of his time in his bathing suit anyway. Loki tries to remind him that he can’t go shirtless in the parks (he looked it up already) but he doesn't listen. It really is a good thing his brother can make things appear from thin air. He’s the type of guy to be content in a pair of flip flops and an open button down. He does, however, bring one of those dad-esque fanny packs and somehow he makes it look hot.
→Y/n: Literally packs the same as Wanda, if just a tad less. So many clothes that it’s insane. She, however, has the added bonus of her old Mickey ears-- a pink sequined pair that are a little worse from wear but still pretty. She packs a bucket hat to pin collectable pins to. She makes sure to leave extra room in her suitcase for souvenirs. She’s had her eye on the luxury bath salts from the Grand Floridian ever since the Disney Instagram posted them a few months ago and now that she’s going she won’t be leaving without them. She also packs the strapless dress she’s been meaning to wear for months now-- she doesn’t know who’s going to be there to admire it but she’s sure there’s at least one person who will. Besides, Nat’s been telling her to wear it for ages.
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keilemlucent · 4 years
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best nest: headcanon special
best nest headcanon for salem’s ver of rut season hawks? say no more my dudes (nsfw at the end)
physical changes:
there’s a bunch of these in the fic so lets get into it fellas
so in general, from the brief articles i researched, birds can go through some physical changes during a mating season for like a number of reasons but also realism be damned it was fun
i hc hawks as having weird nails, rut-season or not. normally, they’re darker at the cuticle and grow a bit faster than normal. rut-season? they grow very fast, fully-blackened, curl a bit. he can cut and file them, but it’s sorta fruitless as they grow quickly and are a bit thicker and thereby harder to deal with
eyes? keigo’s pupil shape is always a little off, but during rut-season, they’re nearly fully slit shapes.
wings!! plenty of bird species have changes in their plumage come mating season. typically brighter colors and pattern changes. keigo’s don’t change from their crimson, just have patterns made by small, thin, nearly clear filaments. it gives them a lil iridescent effects. the patterns are symmetrical between the wings and probably add contrast that might change the shadow/highlights of the feathers?? maybe creating an illusion of his already huge wings looking bigger?? this is me spit balling
in addition, they are very sensitive. in general, keigo is just oversensitive as fuck. especially if he hasn’t n*tted in the past hour or so. dude gets pent up fast.
alright now to whaat everyone wants to talk about
keigo’s fat cock
dude just needs to breed! dicks gotta impress potential mates and damn does it. a lil thicker, a lil longer, nasty huge balls. immaculate as y/n said
i haven’t even mentioned pheromones, but the dude is reeking of them whether he wants to or not. they probably don’t have a wide range of feelings and urges they can induce. prolly like horny & safe. but like hey isn’t that what we all want??
the fangs are just because of the cute edits like?? have u seen them? adorable. 
there’s no biological reason its just What I Wanted
emotional changes
this has got to vary whether kei has a ‘mate’ or not
in the case he doesn’t already have an established mate, the dude is just horny. balls to the wall wants to fuck everything in sight constantly. secure a mate, get them in nest, fuck until babies. easy
oooo but with an established mate?? there’s emotion rapport there. 
keigo isn’t a complete bird so there’s human dimensions to his rut- an established mate with like a background would elicit more of these feeling
basically like, protective!! gotta keep them safe and happy because they need to Have my Children but also bc love you know??
i imagine there might be some cognitive dissonance between like instinct and emotions here, especially in moments where its been an hour or two since y’all banged
besides the point, kei’s is gonna be an aftercare king once he gets some of his need to rail you outta the way. mostly because you’d be undoubtedly wrecked and if he wants to not have be pulp and nut by the end of his rut, he has to try and take care of u as he can
in the fic when i said he ‘handles the details’, i imagine this would be stocking up on easy to prepare food, medicine and like topical aids. just to help u out!!!
the chirps
the chirps
if we’re going full bird, we’re going full bird
lowkey it just sounds cute, kei letting go a little and falling into his more instinctual patterns and he just lets lose some bird sounds
over the course of the rut, you probably end up figuring out what certain tones and vocalizations mean
happy chirps, sad chirps, needy chirps, lil comfort coos, things like that
the nest
im a cancer and a homebody so this part is ~*self indulgent*~ 
basically, protective of his mate right?? gotta keep them safe 😤
most surfaces in the home are padded with some sort of blanket or sheet
literally i can see keigo dropping an insane amount of money on just nesting supplies, sleeping with them and scenting them before situating them just right all around
this is probably a long process bc it has to be perfect before he ruins it with u that’s part of the fun
in the fic, there’s a bed against wall windows which is just a nod at the central part of the nest being a spot where keigo can get a good, high vantage point to see any potential threats 
idk if keigo’s like “damn better fuck them near a window so i can scare of competitors” or “if we’re this high up i can always see if someones coming at us” 
whatever the case it’s definitely more instinct avian brain 
in the end, the whole nest is scattered with his softest feathers, his smell and pheromones. perfect. chefs kiss.
and lastly u gotta except the nest!! 
keigo’s put days into making it just for u two, and you gotta basically like, claim it and him 
once u do, it’s fucking time my dude
horny shit (nsfw) (warning: somnophilia) 
im practicing getting filthy on this account bare with me
in classic rut fashion, he is going to rail you until he’s sated and instinctual somewhat confident you’re pregnant. that’s the core of the whole rut right??
i’ve hc’ed him as having some agency during despite his need to stuff you with nut, but im truthfully not sure how much agency. 
point blank he’s gonna wreck you!!
face-down, ass-up preferred. feelings primal and nasty. 
he likes marking you up too oooo boy. you’re the only person who’s gonna see him for the next few weeks but he’ll  be damned if you’re not covered in scratches, bite marks and hickeys in your most sensitive spots
makes kei coo with pride, seeing you all fucked up and claimed by him. especially if you’re sleeping next to him, fucked out and safe in his arms. all the parts of his brain are sated and that’s probably the only time he can get proper rest
lowkey there’s probably a fair amount of cock warming involved, just ambiently. keigo wants you close, safe and filled with cum and what better way to assure this state other than keeping his nearly perma-hardened cock deep in your cunt for hours on end
he’s nice enough to grind up into you every once in awhile, help you come even in your sleep to keep you comfy and holding his cock just right in your cunt
ugh the existential peace kei must feel when he’s balls deep in his mate while in their nest..... ugh. wow. fucked out dream <333
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xoruffitup · 3 years
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Annette: The AD Devotee Review
So I saw Annette on its premiere night in Cannes and I’m still trying to process and make sense of those 2.5 hours of utter insanity. I have no idea where to begin and this is likely going to become an unholy length by the time I’m finished, so I apologize in advance. But BOY I’ve got a lot to parse through!!
Let’s start here: Adam’s made plenty of weird movies. The Dead Don’t Die? The Man Who Killed Don Quixote? There are definitely Terry Gilliam-esque elements of the unapologetically absurd and fantastical in Annette, but NOTHING comes close to this film. To put it bluntly, nothing I write in this post can prepare you for the eccentric phantasmagoria you’re about to sit through.
While the melodies conveying the story – at times lovely and haunting, at times whimsical, occasionally blunt and simple – add a unique sense of the surreal, the fact that it’s all presented in song somehow supplies the medium for this bizarre concoction of disparate elements and outlandish storytelling to all coalesce into a single genre-defying, disbelief-suspending whole. That’s certainly not to say there weren’t a few times when I quietly chortled to myself and mouthed “what the fuck” from behind my mask when things took an exceeding turn to the outrageous. This movie needs to be permitted a bit of leeway in terms of quality judgments, and traditional indicators certainly won’t apply. I would say part of its appeal (and ultimately its success) stems from its lack of interest in appealing to traditional arbiters of film structure and viewing experience. The movie lingers in studies of discomfiture (I’ll return to this theme); it presents all its absurdities with brazen pride rather than temperance; and its end is abrupt and utterly jarring. Yet somehow, at the end of it, I realized I’d been white-knuckling that rollercoaster ride the whole way through and loved every last twist and turn.
A note on the structure of this post before I dive in: I’ve written out a synopsis of the whole film (for those spoiler-hungry people) and stashed it down at the bottom of this post, so no one trying to avoid spoilers has to scroll through. If you want to read, go ahead and skip down to that before reading the discussion/analysis. If I have to reference a specific plot point, I’ll label it “Spoiler #___” and those who don’t mind being spoiled can check the correlating numbers in my synopsis to see which part I’m referencing. Otherwise, my discussion will be spoiler-free! I do detail certain individual scenes, but hid anything that would give away key developments and/or the ending.
To start, I’ll cut to what I’m sure many of you are here for: THE MUSICAL SEX SCENES. You want detailed descriptions? Well let’s fucking go because these scenes have been living in my head rent-free!!
The first (yes, there are two. Idk whether to thank Mr. Carax or suggest he get his sanity checked??) happens towards the end of “We Love Each Other So Much.” Henry carries Ann to the bed with her feet dangling several inches off the floor while she has her arms wrapped around his shoulders. (I maybe whimpered a tiny bit.) As they continue to sing, you first see Ann spread on her back on the bed, panting a little BUT STILL SINGING while Henry’s head is down between her thighs. The camera angle is from above Ann’s head, so you can clearly see down her body and exactly what’s going on. He lifts his head to croon a line, then puts his mouth right back to work. 
And THEN they fuck – still fucking singing! They’re on their sides with Henry behind her, and yes there is visible thrusting. Yes, the thrusting definitely picks up speed and force as the song reaches its crescendo. Yes, it was indeed EXTREMELY sensual once you got over the initial shock of what you’re watching. Ann kept her breasts covered with her own hands while Henry went down on her, but now his hands are covering them and kneading while they’re fucking and just….. It’s a hard, blazing hot R rating. I also remember his giant hand coming up to turn her head so he can kiss her and ladkjfaskfjlskfj. Bring your smelling salts. I don’t recommend sitting between two older ladies while you’re watching – KINDA RUINED THE BLATANT, SMOKING HOT ADAM PORN FOR ME. Good god, choose your viewing buddy wisely!
The second scene comes sort of out of nowhere – I can’t actually recall which song it was during, but it pops up while Ann is pregnant. Henry is again eating her out and there’s not as much overt singing this time, but he has his giant hands splayed over her pregnant belly while he’s going to town and whew, WHEW TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONING PLEASE. DID THE THEATER INCREASE IN TEMPERATURE BY 10 DEGREES, YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT IT DID.
Whew. I think you’ll be better primed to ~enjoy~ those scenes when you know they’re coming, otherwise it’s just so shocking that by the time you’ve processed “Look at Adam eating pussy with reckless abandon” it’s halfway over already. God speed, my fellow rats, it’s truly something to witness!!
Okay. Right. Ahem. Moving right on along….
I’ll kick off this discussion with the formal structure of the film. It’s honestly impossible to classify. I have the questionable fortune of having been taken to many a strange avant-garde operas and art exhibitions by my parents when I was younger, and the strongest parallel I found to this movie was melodramatic opera stagings full of flamboyant flourishes, austere set pieces, and prolonged numbers where the characters wallow at length in their respective miseries. This movie has all the elevated drama, spectacle, and self-aggrandizement belonging to any self-professed rock opera. Think psychedelic rock opera films a la The Who’s Tommy, Hair, Phantom of the Paradise, and hell, even Rocky Horror. Yes, this film really is THAT weird.
But Annette is also in large part a vibrant, absurdist performance piece. The film is intriguingly book-ended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character; and your own role blurs between passive viewer and interactive audience. The first scene has the cast walking through the streets of LA (I think?), singing “So May We Start?” directly to the camera in a self-aware prologue, smashing the fourth wall from the beginning and setting up the audience to play a direct role in the viewing experience. Though the cast then disburse and take up their respective roles, the sense of being directly performed to is reinforced throughout the film. This continues most concretely through Henry’s multiple stand-up comedy performances.
Though he performs to an audience in the film rather than directly to live viewers, these scenes are so lengthy, vulgar, and excessive that his solo performance act becomes an integral part of defining his character and conveying his arc as the film progresses. These scenes start to make the film itself feel like a one-man show. The whole shtick of Henry McHenry’s “Ape of God” show is its perverse irreverence and swaggering machismo. Over the span of what must be a five minute plus scene, Henry hacks up phlegm, pretends to choke himself with his microphone cord, prances across the stage with his bathrobe flapping about, simulates being shot, sprinkles many a misanthropic, charmless monologues in between, and ends by throwing off his robe and mooning the audience before he leaves the stage. (Yes, you see Adam’s ass within the film’s first twenty minutes, and we’re just warming up from there.) His one-man performances demonstrate his egocentrism, penchant for lowbrow and often offensive humor, and the fact that this character has thus far profited from indulging in and acting out his base vulgarities.
While never demonstrating any abundance of good taste, his shows teeter firmly towards the grotesque and unsanctionable as his marriage and mental health deteriorate. This is what I’m referring to when I described the film as a study in discomfiture. As he deteriorates, the later iterations of his stand-up show become utterly unsettling and at times revolting. The film could show mercy and stop at one to two minutes of his more deranged antics, but instead subjects you to a protracted display of just how insane this man might possibly be. In Adam’s hands, these excessive, indulgent performance scenes take on disturbing but intriguing ambiguity, as you again wonder where the performance ends and the real man begins. When Henry confesses to a crime during his show and launces into an elaborate, passionate reenactment on stage, you shift uncomfortably in your seat wondering how much of it might just be true. Wondering just how much of an animal this man truly is.
Watching this film as an Adam fan, these scenes are unparalleled displays of his range and prowess. He’s in turns amusing and revolting; intolerable and pathetic; but always, always riveting. I couldn’t help thinking to myself that for the casual, non Adam-obsessed viewer, the effect of these scenes might stop at crass and unappealing. But in terms of the sheer range and power of acting on display? These scenes are a damn marvel. Through these scenes alone, his performance largely imbues the film with its wild, primal, and vaguely menacing atmosphere.
His stand-up scenes were, to me, some of the most intense of the film – sometimes downright difficult to endure. But they’re only a microcosm of the R A N G E he exhibits throughout the film’s entirety. Let’s talk about how he’s animalistic, menacing, and genuinely unsettling to watch (Leos Carax described him as “feline” at some point, and I 100% see it); and then with a mere subtle twitch of his expression, sheen of his eyes, or slump of his shoulders, he’s suddenly a lost, broken thing.  
Henry McHenry is truly to be reviled. Twitter might as well spare their breath and announce he’s already cancelled. He towers above the rest of the cast with intimidating, predatory physicality; he is prone to indulgence in his vices; and he constantly seems at risk of releasing some wild, uncontrollable madness lingering just beneath his surface. But as we all well know, Adam has an unerring talent for lending pathos to even the most objectively condemnable characters.
In a repeated refrain during his first comedy show, the audience keeps asking him, “Why did you become a comedian?” He dodges the question or gives sarcastic answers, until finally circling back to the true answer later in the film. It was something to the effect of: “To disarm people. It’s the only way I can tell the truth without it killing me.” Even for all their sick spectacle, there are also moments in his stand-up shows of disarming vulnerability and (seeming) honesty. In a similar moment of personal exposition, he confesses his temptation and “sympathy for the abyss.” (This phrase is hands down my favorite of the film.) He repeatedly refers to his struggle against “the abyss” and, at the same time, his perceived helplessness against it. “There’s so little I can do, there’s so little I can do,” he sings repeatedly throughout the film - usually just after doing something horrific.
Had he been played by anyone else, the first full look of him warming up before his show - hopping in place and punching the air like some wannabe boxer, interspersing puffs of his cigarette with chowing down on a banana – would have been enough for me to swear him off. His archetype is something of a cliché at this point – a brusque, boorish man who can’t stomach or preserve the love of others due to his own self-loathing. There were multiple points when it was only Adam’s face beneath the character that kept my heart cracked open to him. But sure enough, he wedged his fingers into that tiny crack and pried it wide open. The film’s final few scenes show him at his chin-wobbling best as he crumbles apart in small, mournful subtleties.
(General, semi-spoiler ahead as to the tone of the film’s ending – skip this paragraph if you’d rather avoid.) For a film that professes not to take itself very seriously (how else am I supposed to interpret the freaky puppet baby?), it delivers a harsh, unforgiving ending to its main character. And sure enough, despite how much I might have wanted to distance myself and believe it was only what he deserved, I found myself right there with him, sharing his pain. It is solely testament to Adam’s tireless dedication to breathing both gritty realism and stubborn beauty into his characters that Henry sank a hook into some piece of my sympathy.
Not only does Adam have to be the only actor capable of imbuing Henry with humanity despite his manifold wrongs, he also has to be the only actor capable of the wide-ranging transformations demanded of the role. He starts the movie with long hair and his full refrigerator brick house physique. His physicality and size are actively leveraged to engender a sense of disquiet and unpredictability through his presence. He appears in turns tormented and tormentor. There were moments when I found myself thinking of Conan the Barbarian, simply because his physical presence radiates such wild, primal energy (especially next to tiny, dainty Marion and especially with that long hair). Cannot emphasize enough: The raw sex appeal is off the goddamn charts and had me – a veteran fangirl of 3+ years - shook to my damn core.
The film’s progression then ages him – his hair cut shorter and his face and physique gradually becoming more gaunt. By the film’s end, he has facial prosthetics to make him seem even more stark and borderline sickly – a mirror of his growing internal torment. From a muscular, swaggering powerhouse, he pales and shrinks to a shell of a man, unraveling as his face becomes nearly deformed by time and guilt. He is in turns beautiful and grotesque; sensual and repulsive. I know of no other actor whose face (and its accompanying capacity for expressiveness) could lend itself to such stunning versatility.
Quick note here that he was given a reddish-brown birthmark on the right side of his face for this film?? It becomes more prominent once his hair is shorter in the film’s second half. I’m guessing it was Leos’ idea to make his face even more distinctive and riveting? If so, joke’s on you, Mr. Carax, because we’re always riveted. ☺
I mentioned way up at the beginning that the film is bookended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character, and between reality and performance. This comes full circle at the film’s end, with Henry’s final spoken words (this doesn’t give any plot away but skip to the next paragraph if you would rather avoid!) being “Stop watching me.” That’s it. The show is over. He has told his last joke, played out his final act, and now he’s done living his life as a source of cheap, unprincipled laughs and thrills for spectators. The curtain closes with a resounding silence.
Now, I definitely won’t have a section where I talk (of course) about the Ben Solo parallels. He’s haunted by an “abyss” aka darkness inside of him? Bad things happened when he finally gave in and stared into that darkness he knew lived within him? As a result of those tragedies, (SPOILER – Skip to next paragraph to avoid) he then finds himself alone and with no one to love or be loved by? NO I’M DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT AT ALL, I’M JUST FINE HERE UNDER MY MOUNTAINS OF TISSUES.
Let’s talk about the music! The film definitely clocks in closer to a rock opera than musical, because almost the entire thing is conveyed through ongoing song, rather than self-contained musical numbers appearing here and there. This actually helps the film’s continuity and pacing, by keeping the characters perpetually in this suspended state of absurdity, always propelled along by some beat or melody. Whenever the film seems on the precipice of tipping all the way into the bleak and dark, the next whimsical tune kicks in to reel us all blessedly back. For example, after (SPOILER #1) happens, there’s a hard cut to the bright police station where several officers gather around Henry, bopping about and chattering on the beat “Questions! We have a few questions!”
Adam integrates his singing into his performance in such a way that it seems organic. I realized after the film that I never consciously considered the quality of his singing along the way. For all that I talked about the film maintaining the atmosphere of a fourth wall-defying performance piece, Adam’s singing is so fully immersed in the embodiment of his character that you almost forget he’s singing. Rather, this is simply how Henry McHenry exists. His stand-up scenes are the only ones in the film that do frequently transition back and forth between speaking and singing, but it’s seamlessly par for the course in Henry’s bizarre, dour show. He breaks into his standard “Now laugh!” number with uninterrupted sarcasm and contempt. There were certainly a few soft, poignant moments when his voice warbled in a tender vibrato you couldn’t help noticing – but otherwise, the singing was simply an extension of that full-body persona he manages to convey with such apparent ease and naturalism.
On the music itself: I’ll admit that the brief clip of “We Love Each Other So Much” we got a few weeks ago made me a tad nervous. It seemed so cheesy and ridiculous? But okay, you really can’t take anything from this movie out of context. Otherwise it is, indeed, utterly ridiculous. Not that none of it is ever ridiculous in context either, but I’m giving you assurances right now that it WORKS. Once you’re in the flow of constant singing and weirdness abound, the songs sweep you right along. Some of the songs lack a distinctive hook or melody and are moreso rhythmic vehicles for storytelling, but it’s now a day later and I still have three of the songs circulating pleasantly in my head. “We Love Each Other So Much” was actually the stand out for me and is now my favorite of the soundtrack. It’s reprised a few times later in the film, growing increasingly melancholy each time it is echoed, and it hits your heart a bit harder each time. The final song sung during (SPOILER #2), though without a distinctive melody to lodge in my head, undoubtedly left me far more moved than a spoken version of this scene would have. Adam’s singing is so painfully desperate and earnest here, and he takes the medium fully under his command.
Finally, it does have to be said that parts of this film veer fully towards the ridiculous and laughable. The initial baby version of the Annette puppet-doll was nothing short of horrifying to me. Annette gets more center-stage screen time in the film’s second half, which gives itself over to a few special effects sequences which look to be flying out at you straight from 2000 Windows Movie Maker. The scariest part is that it all seems intentional. The quality special effects appear when necessary (along with some unusual and captivating time lapse shots), which means the film’s most outrageous moments are fully in line with its guiding spirit. Its extravagant self-indulgence nearly borders on camp.
...And with that, I’ve covered the majority of the frantic notes I took for further reflection immediately after viewing. It’s now been a few days, and I’m looking forward to rewatching this movie when I can hopefully take it in a bit more fully. This time, I won’t just be struggling to keep up with the madness on screen. My concluding thoughts at this point: Is it my favorite Adam movie? Certainly not. Is it the most unforgettable? Aside from my holy text, The Last Jedi, likely yes. It really is the sort of thing you have to see twice to even believe it. And all in all, I say again that Adam truly carried this movie, and he fully inhabits even its highest, most ludicrous aspirations. He’s downright abhorrent in this film, and that’s exactly what makes him such a fucking legend.
I plan to make a separate post in the coming days about my experience at Cannes and the Annette red carpet, since a few people have asked! I can’t even express how damn good it feels to be globetrotting for Adam-related experiences again. <3
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Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to ask me any further questions at all here or on Twitter! :)
*SYNOPSIS INCLUDED BELOW. DO NOT READ FURTHER IF AVOIDING SPOILERS!*
Synopsis: Comedian Henry McHenry and opera singer Ann Defrasnoux are both at the pinnacle of their respective success when they fall in love and marry. The marriage is happy and passionate for a time, leading to the birth of their (puppet) daughter, Annette. But tabloids and much of the world believe the crude, brutish Henry is a poor match for refined, idolized Ann. Ann and Henry themselves both begin to feel that something is amiss – Henry gradually losing his touch for his comedy craft, claiming that being in love is making him ill. He repeatedly and sardonically references how Ann’s opera career involves her “singing and dying” every night, to the point that he sees visions of her “dead” body on the stage. Meanwhile, Ann has a nightmare of multiple women accusing Henry of abusive and violent behavior towards them, and she begins growing wary in his presence. (He never acts abusively towards her, unless you count that scene when he tickles her feet and licks her toes while she’s telling him to stop??? Yeah I know, WILD.)
The growing sense of unease, that they’re both teetering on the brink of disaster, culminates in the most deranged of Henry’s stand-up comedy performances, when he gives a vivid reenactment of killing his wife by “tickling her to death.” The performance is so maudlin and unsettling that you wonder whether he’s not making it up at all, and the audience strongly rebukes him. (This is the “What is your problem?!” scene with tiddies out. The full version includes Adam storming across the stage, furiously singing/yelling, “What the FUCK is your problem?!”) But when Henry arrives home that night, drunk and raucous, Ann and Annette are both unharmed.
The couple take a trip on their boat, bringing Annette with them. The boat gets caught in a storm, and Henry drunkenly insists that he and Ann waltz in the storm. She protests that it’s too dangerous and begs him to see sense. (SPOILER #1) The boat lurches when Henry spins her, and Ann falls overboard to her death. Henry rescues Annette from the sinking boat and rows them both to shore. He promptly falls unconscious, and a ghost of Ann appears, proclaiming her intention to haunt Henry through Annette. Annette (still a toddler at this point and yes, still a wooden puppet) then develops a miraculous gift for singing, and Henry decides to take her on tour with performances around the world. He enlists the help of his “conductor friend,” who had been Ann’s accompanist and secretly had an affair with her before she met Henry.
Henry slides further into drunken debauchery as the tour progresses, while the Conductor looks after Annette and the two grow close. Once the tour concludes, the Conductor suggests to Henry that Annette might be his own daughter – revealing his prior affair with Ann. Terrified by the idea of anyone finding out and the possibility of losing his daughter, Henry drowns the Conductor in the pool behind his and Ann’s house. Annette sees the whole thing happen from her bedroom window.
Henry plans one last show for Annette, to be held in a massive stadium at the equivalent of the Super Bowl. But when Annette takes the stage, she refuses to sing. Instead, she speaks and accuses Henry of murder. (“Daddy kills people,” are the actual words – not that that was creepy to hear as this puppet’s first spoken words or anything.)
Henry stands trial, during which he sees an apparition of Ann from when they first met. They sing their regret that they can’t return to the happiness they once shared, until the apparition is replaced by Ann’s vengeful spirit, who promises to haunt Henry in prison. After his sentencing (it’s not clear what the sentence was, but Henry definitely isn’t going free), Annette is brought to see him once in prison. Speaking fully for the first time, she declares she can’t forgive her parents for using her: Henry for exploiting her voice for profit and Ann for presumably using her to take vengeance on Henry. (Yes, this is why she was an inanimate doll moving on strings up to this point – there was some meaning in that strange, strange artistic choice. She was the puppet of her parents’ respective egotisms.) The puppet of Annette is abruptly replaced by a real girl in this scene, finally enabling two-sided interaction and a long-missed genuine connection between her and Henry, which made this quite the emotional catharsis. (SPOILER #2) It concludes with Annette still unwilling to forgive or forget what her parents have done, and swearing never to sing again. She says Henry now has “no one to love.” He appeals, “Can’t I love you, Annette?” She replies, “No, not really.” Henry embraces her one last time before a guard takes her away and Henry is left alone.
…..Yes, that is the end. It left me with major emotional whiplash, after the whole film up to this point kept pulling itself back from the total bleak and dark by starting up a new toe-tapping, mildly silly tune every few minutes. But this last scene instead ends on a brutal note of harsh, unforgiving silence.
BUT! Make sure you stick around through the credits, when you see the cast walking through a forest together. (This is counterpart to the film’s opening, when you see the cast walking through LA singing “So May We Start?” directly to the audience) Definitely pay attention to catch Adam chasing/playing with the little girl actress who plays Annette! That imparts a much nicer feeling to leave the theater with. :’)
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uponrightful · 3 years
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So, I love possessive, jealous Crosshair 🥵 Tell me about this scene (please?):
“Trouble doesn’t suit you, doll.” He murmured lowly, soft voice contrasting the slight pressure over her pulse point and the swell of her hip. Crosshair was all-consuming and Dutch was weak to do anything but try to stay silent under his pressing weight and commanding presence at her back.
Also, I’d love to know what Echo was thinking once Cross went to the fresher after Dutch.
You’re the best! 😘
Commentary Track for Coriolis Effect
Copy 500 words -or more- of any of my fics and I'll give you my thoughts/rambles on what was going through my head -or the character's- when I wrote it!
*send one in here anytime!*
My oh my! 😍 What spicy scene we have here. I'll start with what's going on with Crosshair first, then I'll come back for Echo and the rest of the Batch. haha
***
Crosshair is fuming with rage during his conversation with Echo: It's that kind of bodily energy you get after watching a action-movie, where your whole body feels tired, but it's twitching with adrenaline that can't be spent or released. That kind of feeling you can't get rid of no matter what you do to ignore it, or work through it. Your mind feels like it working so fast that it's in slow-motion, overanalyzing the smallest details until your grinding your teeth because there's nothing else that helps relieve the pressure.
But the second he enters the refresher all of that energy snaps from anger and fear for Duchess, into dead calm. His inner voice stops screaming and evens out in tone and his hands stop shaking. His breathing slows and the second Cross sees her standing there, it's like he's been meditating deeply for hours. This kind of concentration is only present in Crosshair one other time... And you guessed it. When he's shooting.
Note: This is the epitome of Crosshair's ability to manage impulse-control in unfamiliar -and stressful- situations. Key-word here being "unfamiliar." I firmly believe that Cross is painfully terrible at monitoring and expressing his emotions. He has so many of them all the time that from a young age he had to learn how to turn them off in a moments notice, simply so he could survive. Think about it... How can a sniper worry about his brothers dying right before his eyes and still make clean shots? Not even Crosshair can do that. So the second he's certain Dutch is safe -by visually proving her health- that well-trained nature takes over to protect him like it always does.
Crosshair -at this point- isn't sure what he wants. He needs to touch her though, remind himself that she's tangible and within reach. Not that he isn't aware of his effect on her, but this moment isn't about sexual appeal or attraction. This is desperation, and Crosshair knows that; He's just banking on the hope that she'll let him, because she's always done so. He feels safe with Duchess, and even though this feels/looks sexy, Crosshair feels completely vulnerable right now.
Note: I will say it now; Once and for all. I have never subscribed to the idea that Crosshair is a typical Dominant/BDSM/Sadisim kind of guy. And the distinction is all to do with motivation. I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out why he acts the way he does, and how that manifests itself. So when I planned this scene, I wanted to focus on just how strong his desire to have security is. Not prowess, or control. It's all to do with the desperate need he has to prove how he feels about her. That kind of vulnerability just comes easier to him physically than it does emotionally. Duchess gives him a sense of stability -in and out of the sexual sense- that makes his characterization insanely complex and difficult to balance.
The moment he finds his words, it's a compulsory need to cover his own jealousy. Crosshair is undoubtedly unhappy knowing she went out with Regs... but what's really bothering him is how easy it is to feel so strongly for Duchess. Every time he speaks, it's intentionally driving attention towards someone else, and away from his own desire to be the focus of her attention. Cross uses his fear of her being unsafe to mask the jealousy that constantly compares himself to the others who can give her attention more freely than he can personally. Duchess sees his calm nature as patience and precision, but it's really Crosshair planning out what he's going to say because he knows one wrong move will reveal just how desperate he is to have her acceptance of him.
Note: I've never struggled to balance possessiveness and love like I have with Crosshair. He's so intense that if I'm not careful, he comes off like a walking red-flag. Word choice is essential when getting Cross' character and reactions right. Whether it be the way he talks to her, or the way he naturally falls into a protector role. That's why when I'm writing for him, it takes double the time it does to write anything else. Every movement, every word he says, needs to be written like he says it in the moment. That's the only way to show his softness... because the love that he gives is best felt in person. You can't describe Crosshair's love with words easily.
Now for sweet, sweet, Echo.
Let me preface this by saying: Echo is his brother's keeper. There is a relationship there that goes far deeper than the ones Crosshair holds for his other brothers. It happened slowly, but it wasn't until the two of them were too far into it that either recognized what had happened. Their personalities are something that wouldn't really mix on first glance, but for some reason or another, they just get each other. It's natural, and they gravitate towards each other.
That being said, Duchess and Echo are their own kind of dynamic. I see them as the "platonic-soulmate" kind. She has an intensity that Echo marvels at, and Dutch knows she could take any problem to him and he would do anything to help her. They both see something in the other that they wish they still had, or could develop. It's probably the purest friendship Duchess has ever had, and Echo can't help but harken back to Fives when he sees her attitude -in future chapters.
Note: From the first moment I created Duchess, I just knew in my heart she was meant to be something special to Echo. To me, it was only right that Crosshair's doll would feel strongly connected to Echo as well. Add in their common feeling of loss for brothers, and that just made their relationship that much stronger. She's such a force, and the ARC trooper can't help but find a enamorment with people who have such a strong will and fiery personality. (See Fives)
The moment Echo sees Crosshair, he's already preparing to do anything necessary to protect Duchess from incurring another possible hit to her bruised emotions. Echo trusts Crosshair, but he's highly attentive to Cross and how raw his emotions are. Their interaction is based in Echo's desire to save the couple from losing the chance to do things the right way. Intuition and experience guide Echo through the whole conversation; He really is flying by the seat of his blacks here... But he's so well-versed in reading Crosshair that none of the other Batcher's even think about offering to be the first one Crosshair faces when he comes in the bunk hall. Echo has unmatched faith in Cross, and this was something both of them knew would happen.
Note: Writing this scene was challenging for a number of reasons. For one, neither Echo or Crosshair really talk a whole lot. They say what they need to, and that's the end of it. So I spent days watching Echo and Crosshair's interactions. Trying to figure out what I could based off the -very little- examples I was given. In that, I found that the two of them hardly ever stand next to each other, but they're constantly sharing glances and looking at each other. Echo and Crosshair have silent conversations all. the. time.
Had Echo not allowed Crosshair to go and see Duchess, their sexy scene would have never happened. (And I played around with that idea very seriously...) Ultimately, Echo's intuition was the deciding factor. That conversation, and Crosshair's attempt at honesty was the reason Echo felt confident in letting him speak to her. And although Echo could sense Crosshair's patience running thin, he'd already told the rest of the Batch to be prepared for any fight. Echo wouldn't put it past Cross to stun him, but a gut-feeling kept him from mentally preparing to do the same thing.
Additionally, it was Echo who made everyone leave the bunk hall. The second Crosshair and himself reached an agreement, Echo was the first to step away. His next move was to shove the rest of the Batch out the doors and give Duchess and Crosshair the privacy needed to work through their shit. And although he expected it to end in sex, the desire to keep their business between them alone was Echo's main motivation to empty the bunk room. Neither Crosshair or Duchess really trust the Batch at this moment -in Echo's mind at least- and risking their privacy wasn't something the ARC would stand for. In the back of his mind though, Echo was terrified that Crosshair would fuck her and leave it at that. He's seen the sniper at his best and his worst, and although his best is wonderful, his worst can be miserable to endure. Echo was praying that Crosshair wouldn't be too harsh -physically and mentally- on Duchess.
When Hunter finally decided enough time had passed, Echo was on edge to see just where the two of them would be. The image of them sleeping in separate bunks: Crosshair pretending to sleep -like always- and Duchess laying quietly and pretending like nothing happened shook Echo to his core. But the second he saw her bunk in a disarray, and her not in it, Echo couldn't help but fucking grin. He was proud of his brother for doing the right thing. For doing something for himself, and not worrying about how it would make him look for once. Add in the way Crosshair reprimanded Tech, and how deathly serious he looked with her sleeping peacefully against him...?
That was the moment Echo knew for certain that Crosshair was never coming back from this. He saw a visible change in his brother, in the way his attitude changed. The way Crosshair wasn't worried about himself, or attempting to hide behind sneers and sarcastic comments. Echo noticed how attuned he was to her in that moment, putting her comfort above all else. For a man who pretended to not care about anything, Crosshair did a terrible job of hiding his true personality when Duchess was curled up into him. And Echo couldn't be happier, knowing that his trust in Crosshair hadn't been for nothing. Not only was his brother experiencing love in a way that all of them desired, but Duchess was never going to live with the question of whether or not someone truly cared for her.
***
I hope this was what you were looking for in-terms of answers 😅. I had a great time writing this for you, and I hope you'll feel comfortable doing this again whenever you feel like it! I love sharing the behind-the-scenes stuff with you! It makes the cuts and editing feel a little less sad knowing I might be able to share some of it with you anyways!
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iamanartichoke · 3 years
Text
I wrote a Thing. It’s extremely long. I’d prefer it not be reblogged; I wrote this for my own catharsis and would prefer it not be circulated, bc of Reasons. 
I changed my mind, okay to reblog. <3 
Under a cut for (extreme, did I mention?) length. 
So I got about 12 minutes of sleep last night, as you do, and around 3am or so I found myself - out of sheer curiosity - going down a meta hole of Ragnarok discourse, trying to figure out where this "satisfying redemption arc" for Loki happened. (I mean, there's a lot of things I would like to figure out, but I started there.) Because I could. 
Basically I was looking for meta that went into detail about how Loki was redeemed in a satisfactory way. The ‘satisfactory’  is an important word here bc there is a redemption arc in the film, in that Loki starts off the film as an antagonist (kinda) to Thor and he ends the film as an ally to Thor, standing at Thor's side. In that sense, yes, there's a redemption arc. I didn't find much (and I had no idea how much people just despise Ragnarok "antis" [I really dislike that word] but that's another topic [that I don't particularly want to get into, tbh]) but I did find some. I read what I could find, and I read it open-mindedly, and overall I came away feeling like, okay, there are some valid points being made here and I can kinda see where they're coming from.
But it was a bit (a lot) like -- flat. Idk. The best comparison I can think of is that it’s like if a literature class read, I don't know, The Yellow Wallpaper for an assignment, and some of the students came away from it feeling like it was a creepy story about a woman slowly driving herself insane, and the other students came away from it incensed at the oppression and infantilization of women in the late 19th century -
- and neither side is wrong, but the former is a very surface-level reading and the latter isn't (bc it stems from looking at why she drives herself insane, why she was prescribed 'rest' in the first place, the context of what women could and couldn't do back then, etc; basically, a bit more work has to go into it). 
[Note: I am not disparaging the quality of The Yellow Wallpaper. At all. It’s just the first relatively well-known story that popped into my head.]
In this sense, I can see the argument for Loki's redemption arc, but I don't think it's a very good argument. Not invalid, but not great.
I mean, for example, I think the most consistent argument I found variations of re: Loki's redemption is that Ragnarok shows Loki finally taking responsibility for his bad behaviour and misdeeds. This includes recognizing that his actions were fueled from a place of self-hatred and a desire to self-destruct in addition to bringing destruction on others. That he probably feels awkward and regretful of these things and doesn't know how to act around Thor, but he figures it out by the end, and decides that returning to Asgard is the best way to show that he's ready to make amends. His act of bringing the Statesman to Asgard is an apology. He allies himself with Thor and ends up in a better place, both narratively (united with Thor once again) and mentally (having taken responsibility and made amends for his past).
And setting aside that he had already made amends by sacrificing his life in TDW (and also setting aside that the argument is made that Loki redeems himself in IW by sacrificing himself to Thanos but if that's the case, wouldn't that imply that he hadn't achieved redemption in Ragnarok or else there would be no need to achieve it again in IW? Or, if you think he did achieve redemption in Ragnarok, then what the fuck did he give his life in IW for? What was his motivation there, and why did the narrative not make it clearer? I digress.) 
- setting aside those two factors, I think this is a very fair argument. Loki is fueled by self-hatred, and he does want to self-destruct, and he does want to inflict that pain on others as well (particularly Thor). No lies detected here. 
However, I also need to know where that self-hatred and desire for destruction (toward himself and others) comes from and for that, we need to go back to Thor 1.
Thor 1. 
Loki starts Thor 1 out as "a clenched fist with hair," to borrow a quote from the Haunting of Hill House (that I tucked away in my mental box of Lovely Things bc it says so much so very simply). He's very used to bottling everything up, pushing it down; he slinks around behind the scenes, pulling the strings to this plot or that. He's "always been one for mischief," but the narrative implies that the coronation incident is the first time Loki's done anything truly terrible. And it all immediately pretty much goes to shit, so Loki spends the rest of the movie frantically juggling all these moving pieces while trying to seem as if he's got it all under control, every step of the way. That's how I view his actions. 
But I always come back to that quote where Kenneth Branaugh tells Tom, of the scene in the vault, "This is where the thin steel rod that's been holding your mind together snaps." In other words this is where Loki discovering he's Jotun is just one thing too many. He can't take it. But though the rod snaps, his descent isn't a nosedive. It's a tumble. As the story progresses, the clenched fist starts to loosen, the muscles are flexed in unfamiliar ways (that feel kinda good, after being stiff for so long), and it culminates with the hand opening completely and shaking itself out. All of that repression, that self-hatred, that rage and jealousy just explodes so that, by the time the bifrost scene happens, Loki's already hit bottom. It's not just about proving his worthiness to Odin. He wants to hurt Thor, too; he, essentially, throws a tantrum. (That's right, I said tantrum.) 
(Note: The word 'tantrum’ has negative connotations bc we normally equate it with a toddler stamping their feet and screaming in the aisle when their parent won't buy them the toy they want. But in itself, the word tantrum isn't infantalizing. It's an "emotional outburst, an uncontrolled explosion of anger and frustration" [paraphrasing from dictionary.com]. That's exactly what happens here [and why Tom called Loki's actions a massive tantrum, but people took that to mean Tom agreed it was childish whereas I doubt Tom meant it that way]).
He's been pushed past his limit, and he does bad things. He does really shitty things. He hurts Thor, he hurts his family. I'm pretty sure he knows this all along so this isn't, like, some revelation further down the line that "hey, those things I did were probably kinda bad." He got the memo already. 
Ragnarok 
Fast forward to Ragnarok, and we're introduced to a version of Loki who's had 4ish years to sit with everything that's happened. To sit with it and not do much else. The rawness of it has faded, and now it seems as though it's just become a thing, like when you move through life aware of your childhood traumas and have more or less just accepted them (and you probably share a lot of really funny depression memes on Facebook, which is kinda the equivalent of Loki's play, but that's probably just me). 
Loki has, more or less, chilled out. He seems more bored than anything else; he's been masquerading as Odin for longer than he ever planned or intended to, so he's more or less ended up hanging out, letting Asgard mind its own business, and entertaining himself with silly plays. This is the version that starts out the movie as an antagonist to Thor - a version that is, arguably, in a much different place [and is a much milder threat] than the version who originally did those Bad Things. 
And of course Thor is still mad at him, and of course they're going to butt heads, because that's what they do (and Thor's grievances are genuine, I’ll add, bc it's not really his fault he assumed Loki faked his death, nor can he be blamed for being pissed about Odin).
One argument framed this version of Loki as being a person who is facing the awkwardness of coming out of a dark place, which is fair. If we're going to frame his actions in Thor 1 as a tantrum, then Ragnarok would be the part where the toddler has been taken home, possibly has had some lunch and a juice box, and is now watching cartoons. They're over the tantrum, and would probably feel pretty silly about it if they weren't, yknow, toddlers. They probably can't remember why they even wanted that toy so badly. If they're a little older and self-aware, they might even be embarrassed for having melted down.
Like the word tantrum, this feeling isn't a thing limited to toddlers. I know I've had a few epic meltdowns as a grown ass adult, and I know I always feel deeply embarrassed afterwards - like, want to crawl into a hole and die. I've said things I can't take back. Adolescents and teenagers throw tantrums, mentally ill people throw tantrums, adults throw tantrums (I mean, my god, look at all the videos of Karens having screaming meltdowns - screaming! - over having to wear masks in order to shop at stores). Humans throw tantrums. And usually, after the feelings have been let out and the tantrum has passed, humans feel pretty regretful and awkward and embarrassed about whatever they did and said in the midst of their meltdown. 
I get all of that and agree it's valid and that Loki probably feels it. By the time Ragnarok happens, Loki's had some time to reflect and think hmm, yeah, probably could've handled that one a lot better. The argument further goes that in order to navigate this awkward period, Loki must come to terms with what he's done, acknowledge that some things can't be unsaid or undone, and begin to make amends. Supposedly, some people feel that Loki becomes a better person because he does "own" everything he did wrong and, even though he feels like a jackass (paraphrasing), he sets that aside to become a become a better person by choosing to help Thor and Asgard at the end. 
Thus, the overall arc goes like this. Loki, Thor's jealous little brother, 
throws a tantrum of epic proportions bc Reasons 
continues to act badly and make things even worse (Avengers) 
has to face consequences for his actions (prison sentence) 
ends up with a stretch of time in which he's free to contemplate and chill out 
feels embarrassed and awkward about how he's behaved
sees an opportunity to make up for it and decides to take it 
helps Thor, saves the day, and ends the film a better person. 
Redemption achieved.
None of this is wrong. The film supports it. It's a fair interpretation. But it leaves. out. so. much.
To circle all the way back around Loki being "a clenched fist with hair," and his actions stemming from his self-hatred, you have to ask - how did he get that way? He didn't end up with all this self-hatred on accident. Generally, one isn't born despising themselves, it's a learned behavior. (I realize chemical imbalances are a thing, obviously, as I have Mental Shit myself, but for argument's sake I'm assuming that's not the case with Loki [at this point in time]). 
Where did Loki learn it? From his family, from his surroundings, from his culture. We see examples of these microaggressions in the first, like, twenty minutes of the movie - a guard openly laughs at Loki's magic after Thor makes a joke about it (the tone of the conversation implies that Thor "jokes" like this often) and though Loki does the snake thing, the guard faces no real consequences. Thor doesn't acknowledge that anything went amiss. Not much later, on their way to Jotunheim, Loki's barely gotten two words out to Heimdall before Thor cuts him off, steps in front of him, and takes charge. Loki doesn't look annoyed at this; he looks resigned. 
Then, for absolutely no reason at all, Volstagg decides to make a jab at Loki ("silver tongue turned to lead?") just because he can. The ease with which he makes this comment and the way that no one else blinks an eye at it implies that this isn't out of the norm. And Loki doesn't react, not really. In the deleted version, he delivers a particularly nasty comeback but he delivers it under his breath, without intending Volstagg to hear it. In the final version, he simply says nothing, though his expression can be read as hurt or stung. Either way, the audience sees an example of Loki being walked all over by Thor and his friends and bottling up his reactions instead of standing up for himself. 
Microaggressions matter. They are mentally and emotionally damaging. They hurt. The implication that this is not unusual treatment for Loki means that Loki's probably gone through this for most of his life. It's like the equivalent of being, I don't know, twenty two and you're the friend who has to walk behind the others when the sidewalk isn't wide enough, and it's been that way since the first day of kindergarten. At this point, you're used to it, but that doesn't make it hurt any less when the jabs come seemingly out of nowhere, for no reason other than to make you feel bad.
(I personally identify a lot with this bc I experienced passive bullying in social settings for years. I was the 'doesn't fit on the sidewalk' friend; I hung around with people who'd pretend to be my friend and would be more or less nice to my face, but would laugh at me and make fun of me behind my back for whatever reasons. And often there'd be the random jabs at me, things that would come out of nowhere to smack me in the face, followed by the fake laugh and “just kidding!" so that I couldn't even get upset without being made to feel like I was overreacting and couldn't take a joke. I'd deal with this socially, particularly in middle school when girls are their most vicious, and then I'd go home and, because I was the only girl with a lot of brothers and because boys are mean and because I am who I am, the dynamic was that my brothers would just endlessly roast me to my face and sometimes it was a "just kidding!" thing, where I was the only one not laughing. But that’s beside the point; my point is that microaggressions, passive bullying, and consistent invalidation are harmful and that shit stays with you into adulthood.) 
So, yes, Loki needs to be held responsible for his misdeeds, and it's valid to say that he recognizes those misdeeds and wants to make amends. I have never disagreed with that. But the problem with this interpretation is that it lets every single other character who contributed to Loki's self-hatred and mental breakdown (let's just call a spade a spade here, that's what it was; he was broken psychologically) get off scot-free.
First of all,
Odin is not held accountable for instilling in the princes a mentality of Asgard first, everyone is beneath us but Jotuns are benath us the most, they are literal monsters. He is not held accountable for pitting his sons against one another (even if it was unintentional, he still did it) with "you were both born to be kings but only one of you can rule" being the general tone of their upbringing. He's not held accountable for his favoritism toward Thor.
Frigga is not held accountable for deferring to Odin both in supporting the above things and in keeping the truth of Loki's origins a secret while doing nothing to discourage the "monsters" narrative. 
Thor is not held accountable for his own tendency of taking Loki for granted (he assumes Loki will come to Jotunheim, he oversteps Loki constantly, “know your place,” etc.. He grants his implicit permission for Loki to be treated as the sidewalk friend in their “group,” a group which is loyal to and takes their cues from Thor as Thor continues to do nothing in his brother's defense).
[Note: Wanting Thor to be held accountable for things he's done wrong isn't vilifying him. Acknowledging that Thor benefited from Odin's favoritism and his own place as Crown Prince doesn't negate Thor also being raised in an abusive environment. I don't think anyone's saying that or, if they have, it's not something I agree with.]
Furthermore, 
Odin is not held accountable for his cruelty in disowning Loki (”your birthright was to die” is never going to be forgotten, speaking of people saying things that can't be unsaid or taken back) and in sentencing Loki to a severe prison sentence (life! only bc Frigga wouldn't let him execute Loki) for crimes that are no worse than what Odin himself has committed (around which the entire plot of Ragnarok revolves! Colonialism (and subjugation) is wrong is, like, a major theme [that people rush to praise, even] here). 
Thor is also never held accountable for not trying harder to understand what made Loki snap (fair enough, he didn't have a ton of time after returning from Earth, but certainly he had lots of time to sit around reflecting while Loki was being tortured by Thanos for a year). He knows Loki is "not himself" and "beyond reason" and accepts it at face value; he questions it once and then lets it go. He's fine with assuming Loki's just lost his mind, and isn't that a shame. (I realize I'm simplifying Thor's emotions but my point is that Thor could've tried harder to figure out that Loki was being influenced and/or not acting completely autonomously.) 
Thor is also never held accountable for - if not facing consequences for his own slaughter of Jotuns - then at least addressing why Loki can't kill an entire race even though Thor tried to do that, like, two days ago. (Granted, it’s difficult to understand how Thor got from Point A ("let's finish them together, Father!") to Point B (this is wrong!), but that failing belongs to Thor 1 (which is not, by the way, a perfect movie).
The interpretation that Loki is fully redeemed because he took responsibility for his actions, returned to Asgard, and allied himself with Thor to save their people is all well and good - but, why is Loki the only one here who has to take responsibility for their actions? 
What about all the loose threads in his story? 
For example, how did he get from: 
Point A (believing himself a literal monster, having a complete mental breakdown, getting tortured and further traumatized after that, etc) 
to 
Point B (Hey, yknow what would be fun? I'm going to write and direct a play about how I heroically died to save Thor and Jane, and I'll go ahead and have Odin say he accepts me and has always loved me. I'm going to do these things because Odin never said this in real life and instead of acknowledging my sacrifice, Thor left my body in the dirt, so someone has to validate what I've done right and that someone might as well be me. And hey, while I'm at it, I'm going to control the narrative on revealing myself as Jotun to Asgard, instead of living in fear of it being found out, and I'm going to do it in a way that they have to sympathize with me and revere me in death, bc they never bothered to do so when I was alive. And Matt Damon should play me, also.) 
to 
Point C (Yeah, I guess I feel kinda awkward about that whole tantrum thing, also I should help Thor and support him being king.)
The answers to these questions are handwaved and the audience takes that to mean they don't matter. Furthermore, framing Loki's redemption around an act of service (more or less) to Thor makes Loki's redemption about Thor. Does Loki make this decision for the sake of Thor and of Asgard, or does he make it for himself? It's not super clear to me, and I think arguments can be made for both. Which, again, is fine, but - whatever.
If we're going to collectively agree, as a fandom, that Loki is complex, that he's morally gray, that he's worthy of redemption and therefore arguably a good person who's done bad things, then why is it asking too much to have it acknowledged that Thor (also a good person who's done bad things) played a part in Loki's downfall and has shit to apologize for, too? Bc one can only assume the reason is that you're taking a very gray concept and making it black and white by saying Loki has to apologize and make amends because he is the villain, and Thor doesn't because he is the hero (and it's his movie). And it's lazy.
This is where the crux of the issue lands. There's more than one valid interpretation, yes. And no two people (or groups of people, or whatever) are going to consume and therefore interpret or analyze the source material in the same way. I think I saw a post recently about how studies have been done on this, in fact. But, there is a lot going on under the surface that tends to get overlooked when exploring Loki's redemption arc in Ragnarok, as far as I can see, and that’s why I don’t consider it satisfactory. 
[I did read similar arguments regarding other issues that are often debated ('debated'), like Loki's magic and/or being underpowered, whether or not Loki's betrayal of Thor was the natural outcome of the situation on Sakaar or not, whether Thor actually gets closure with Odin [if he does, how does he reconcile the father he's idolized with the imperialistic conqueror he's discovered? Why doesn't he hold Odin responsible for covering up Hela's existence and the threat of her return, especially as he knew he was nearing the end of his life? Is Thor's "I'm not as strong as you" meant to imply that he acknowledges those shortcomings of Odin's and that he's okay with them, or that he's just overlooking them, or is he not okay with them but didn't have the chance to get into it bc he was in the middle of battle? T'Challa confronted his father on his wrongdoings in Black Panther; could Thor not have had at least one line that was confrontational enough to establish where he stands as opposed to this gray middle? Can someone explain to me how any of this equates to Thor gaining closure? Please?) but obviously I'm not going to go into all of them (well, I tried not to), bc this mammoth post has gone on long enough (I may not even post this tbh)]
- but my overall point to this entire thing is that when I say I'm critical of Ragnarok bc it's flawed, that Loki's arc was neither complete nor satisfactory, that many things went unaddressed and, due to all of these things, I do not think Ragnarok is a very good movie nor a very cohesive movie, this is where I'm coming from. I have not seen anything to change my mind to the contrary. 
But I am not saying that anyone satisfied with it is wrong, or shouldn't have the interpretation that they do. I'm not vilifying Thor in order to lift Loki up, just acknowledging that Thor is arguably just as flawed as Loki without the stigma of being Designated Villain. I think a lot of these arguments get overlooked or dismissed, and that's fine, but it doesn't make the people who do engage with them hateful, or bitter, or trying to excuse Loki's crimes, or feeling like redemption means that Loki's crimes should be erased rather than reconciled. 
And sure, yes, perhaps we are expecting too much and exploring all of these themes (or wanting them explored) means that somehow we think it should be Loki's movie (we don't). Loki is a supporting character, but he's still a character. And the movie itself doesn't have to delve into all these things - no one's saying that. (At least, I'm not.) We just want acknowledgement, from the narrative, that this stuff was an Issue. 
This could have been accomplished with - 
Some dialogue closer to the novelization (and original script), like Thor and Loki both acknowledging the harm they've done one another and their kingdom due to their Feels.
 A single line of Thor confronting Odin, or even asking "Why?" 
A narrative acknowledgement that Odin did both Thor and Loki dirty (”I love you, my sons” isn't an apology, because it doesn't acknowledge either that there's been wrong-doing or express regret for having done the wrong in the first place). 
A little bit more nuance in the way Loki treats his own past (ie, instead of flippantly telling the story of his suicide attempt, maybe - if it must be flippant - talk about getting blasted in the face with Hawkeye's arrow or sailing through to Svartalfheim [And in that moment, I sang ta-daaaa!]) or whatever. 
I recognize that wanting full, in-depth exploration on all of these issues regarding a supporting character is probably too much to ask or expect - but, I also feel like, if you're going to be professionally writing a narrative (or rewriting/improvising, as it were), it's not too much to ask that a little more care be taken in regards to all of the layers that have contributed to said supporting character's downfall and subsequent redemption arc. I don't think that's an unreasonable thing to want. 
And maybe if there had been more nuance and continuity in how these things were portrayed on screen (ie, if TW had actually done as good a job as his stans think he did), the fandom wouldn't have divided and conquered itself over which "version" of the same character is more valid and whether or not the film did its best to close out a trilogy (not start a new one), to the point where everyone in this fandom space makes navigating it feel like walking through a minefield. 
But, I mean 
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(Again, please don’t reblog if possible.) 
Edit: Okay to reblog. <3 
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stupidsimfairy · 2 years
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Alright TS4 Community. Let’s Talk.
I have seen an insane amount of backlash and drama still going on even after EA changed their TOS to fit cc creators demands. Drama is inevitable in general, there’s always going to be some sort of drama happening regardless of where it falls on the severity spectrum. ( This post is only about SIMS. Don’t bring other games or content in this, As well as MY OPINION since it is MY blog. Thank You. )
I’m going to be addressing the following:
1. CC creators early access abuse
2. CC creators ignoring EA’s new TOS
3. EA’s decision’s with their TOS being mistakes
4. Egotistical & Victim Mentaility cc creators 
CC creators early access abuse
For background information, EA put out an updated TOS update. One of the main things people immediately started posting about was a permanent ban on all forms of paywalls, permanent, Early access, VIP, etc. This was quickly changed after EA recieved heavy backlash since cc creators were upset. They changed it to a ban on all permanent paywalls whilst early access was now acceptable for a “reasonable amount of time”. Of course most cc creators were quick to jump right back onto the early access train. Because of EA’s limitless time spectrum when it came to early access many people ( non & cc creators ) said that 2-3 weeks max behind a paywall no more than $10 should be the maximum thats considered acceptable. Althought this is an unwritten rule by EA and is one made by the sims fandom, many cc creators chose to ignore the acceptable time frame and chose to go for a month+ behind paywalls. A couple creators i’ve seen have priced their sims cc $20-$70 for a paywall that will never be taken down regardless of what they say. 
Let’s get this straight.
I’m pretty sure i speak for most if not all of the respectable sims community when i say that the 2-3 weeks if any for early access is this MOST it should be. Whilst being charged no more than $10 max. Personally the $5-7 range is the best to go if you’re charging for your cc.
CC creators ignoring EA’s new TOS
I’m sure its no surprise that this is happening as well as not even being talked about much. In reference for background information to the previous point. some CC creators are pretending that they aren’t noticing EA’s TOS or anything thats related to such. EX: ignoring comments, dm’s, tweets, posts, videos, tags, etc. Now, EA has a report a creator system ( which ill link at the end of this whole post ), that actually seems to have been working. EA isnt allowed or is going to go into detail about what they’re going to do with the creators but we’ve seen creators whole pages being completely removed after ignoring EA’s TOS and being reported. There are certain creators continuing overcharged permanent paywalls regardless of what people say or EA in general. I should make this clear that EA is the whole reason why you have a income from these paysites, without sims you would not be able to do what you’re doing. So why disrespect them in such a rude way. Profitting off of EA’s game and listing things in defence such as “ CC creators are using their own designs, their own models, & their own textures “ is such a weird loophole you’ve found around EA’s TOS. Yeah sure they use their own things but they are making them for a game, its not licensed, its not needed for the sims, its not made by EA, its an add on to a game that other fans are creating. If you’ve made or seen YouTube videos about CC you’ll notice that if you want to make a HQ finished product, an easy way that a ton of sims 4 CC creators gatekeep is simply exporting offical sims 4 base-game meshes to Blender from Sims4Studio to keep the weight for their new products. Many sims 4 items are stolen from other games and simply imported and converted to sims and sold to CC consumers. Many people are making more excuses such as maybe the creator doesn’t speak english. Then why’re their posts and replies in full english? Also just so we’re clear EA has a translated page for these rules into many languages, not only that but im 100% sure that many people who speak their native language are talking about this too because they saw it somewhere, people who speak other languages other than english aren’t from another planet where they cant work social media and translators. Trust me. THEY. KNOW. THE. RULES.
Heres My Take.
Sims 4 is and will forever be a game where people make custom content, EA, like any other game company has rules to follow and you must stick to them, If you are wanting income for your work do it fairly or dont do it at all. Nobody, NOT A SOUL is going to pay $60 for mediocre cc you made in a free program that is plain and boring, that is the price of five human t-shirts from a box store during a back to school sale. It’s crazy how they think its okay. You can’t and will not be heard out for your weird loopholes you thought of in the shower during a shower thoughts moment. EA says reasonable amount of time for early access and anything other than that is illegal. THEN thats what it is. Some people act like making a tumblr post about EA’s rules being unreasonable and unfair is going to make EA insantly change their rules to fit their fragile needs. 99% cc creators are fully grown adults with lives of their own, If you are able to get a job and work then do so? instead of scamming kids and young people as well as doxing them for your income.
EA’s decision’s with their TOS being mistakes
EA should have thought what they wanted thoroughly before hitting post in a panic. Making a huge statment of banning all paywalls was an instant drama causer and pissed a lot of people off including CC creators. Many CC creators insantly deleted all their cc out of anger. Now don’t get me wrong the same amount of CC creators altered their blogs and patreons to fit the rules and lifted all paywalls and was incredibly kind to everyone. These kind creators listened and understood that some people can’t afford their prices monthly on such an unstable website such as patreon ( which literally charges you again at the beginning of a month if you bought a subscription at the end of a previous month.. whaaat?? ). This whole situation in itself should have never happened if EA just thought it through a little more and ignored social media press. 
Egotistical & Victim Mentaility cc creators
A dozen CC creators are sitting on very high horses. You aren’t entitled to extreme payment, you arent entitled to having everyone listen to you whine about your pyramid scheme being broken down in the span of a week. It’s really sickened me to see many cc creators i once supported, get aggressive with people who gently confronted them about their ignorance. They either get angry or play the victim and it can be very manipulative for people who dont know how manipulative people get you in their grasp. This is such a huge topic and its very difficult to keep it short because i’m going to make a seperate post prior to this one about this specific topic. But just very breifly i’ve seen a lot of creators post about how they feel they have the right to get angry since its their content and their property whilst being a their only form of income. Another topic ill touch on in the later post is the fact that i’ve seen creators use their disabilities as an excuse for their anger towards EA. Combining all this together the one thing ill say now is that no matter what their excuses or reactions are towards this situation it will always be a “okay?” situation. I’m disabled myself and i would never bring up something like that in order to manipulate people into feeling bad. Yes it sucks for you if you are disabled that this was once a stable form of income but its now not and instead of being insanely rude to people who dont control EA’s TOS find something else to get paid for. Many including myself have made posts about how CC creators can get income without paywalling or breaking TOS. I suggest you look at other things you can do instead of pumping mediocre overpriced paywalled CC out like a factory.
Conclusion 
Before you get irritated with me for voicing my opinions take into consideration that you are doing the exact same thing. Im a autistic person with a learning disability on top of other physical and mental illnesses and im not going to use it to get sympathy from people to gain attention. I SUGGEST you do the same. I’m in no way hating on every person in the community, 99% of these takes are aimed directly at problematic CC creators. 
I’ll make a part 2 to this post as well as a seperate post for point 4 in a later date talking about the problematic CC creators that i’ve seen ( racism, anti-LGBTQ, abelism, abuse, manipulation, scamming, illegal activity & more. )
Report A Creator:
To report Mods, give us the details right here on EA Help:
Click Contact Us from any page on EA Help.
Select The Sims 4. If needed, use the search bar to find the game.
Select your Platform.
For Topic, select Report concerns or harassment.
For Issue, choose Report website.
We recommend logging in to your EA Account.
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ordinaryschmuck · 3 years
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What I Thought About "Yesterday's Lie" from The Owl House
Salutations, random people on the internet who absolutely won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons!
Here it is! The midseason finale of The Owl House Season Two! An episode featuring Luz going back to the human realm, is hyped up to heaven about how painful it'll be for the audience, and features more anxiety by how Creepy Luz is a thing. And BOOOOOOOOY howdy were fans not ready for this. I'm sure as hell not ready for when I wrote this intro at *checks time* thirty minutes before watching the official premier. Yup, the words you're reading right now are from me in the past, when everything was still pure and simple. Whereas future me is still probably destroyed by the events that transpired. Isn't that right, future me?
Future Me: Actually, it wasn’t that bad. The ending hurt, sure, but other than that, it wasn’t too painful.
Wow, that is some neat input! At least, I think it was. I wouldn't know because I literally wrote that after watching the episode. With the words you're currently reading being written at *checks time* twenty-six minutes before the premier...this whole intro is confusing, isn't it, future me?
Future Me: Sure is.
Yeah, it's definitely confusing. In any case, let's dive into this spoiler-filled review as we find out together just how painful this episode was! Take it away, future me!
Future Me: Will do! Major spoilers ahead, folks!
Now, let’s review, shall we?
WHAT I LIKED
Luz’s Room: We only see it for a short time, but everything about it just screams Luz. The pile of weird-looking stuffed animals, the witch hat in the center of the floor, and the fact that she has bunk beds, a single child's dream (Or so I've heard). It's a small thing, but I love it.
Vee: Here she is! The character previously dubbed Creepy Luz who now turns out to be yet another new addition to the ever-growing list of characters that we, as a fandom, would give our lives for. Because holy s**t was Vee the best type of expectation subversion. Showing us all the ominous ways of how she basically took Luz's place made fans assume that Vee was an evil doppelganger. Turns out, she was just a tortured soul that was desperate to live a new and better life and lucked out in finding Luz's. What Vee does is...questionable at best, but seeing what she went through with the experiments Belos pulled on her, you understand why she would do it. And I personally love it's that same background information that makes Vee resentful of Luz of all people. Luz's life is a relative dream come true, and running away from that would be insane to someone who spent most of their existence through imprisonment and experimentation. It's an intriguing point of view, even though it's admittingly flawed given how it's mostly Camila that seemingly made Luz's life bearable. But the flaws don't matter. What matters is that you can see where Vee is coming from, and to me, personally, I think she's understandable enough to make me root for her to have some kind of happy ending. Whether as Luz or as herself, I'm hopeful to see Vee get some semblance of peace.
Camila: *Round of applause* Don't mind me! Just taking the time to love how all them sons of b**hes who thought Camila was a bad mom are now heavily invalidated. 'Cause, guess what? Camila is a fantastic mother, both to her daughter and her daughter's doppelganger! Allow me to walk you through the highlights:
How Camila looks like she’s not okay with the fact that "Luz" is clearing out her weird stuff, seemingly acting too different to the Luz she knows. Added to the fact that Camila doesn't like it.
How Camila drove Luz to camp whether than letting her take the bus
The fact that Camila takes that box of junk back in, not willing to part with the tin foil sculpture Luz made.
The way she was willing to play along with the game she thought Luz was doing, supporting her daughter's creative mind that Camila admits to being glad to see.
And, best of all, the willingness Camila had to help this poor creature, despite the lies it lived.
It's that last part I really want to touch upon, though. Because an action like that shows just how much Luz's heart comes from Camila. The kindness and generosity of helping this poor creature, who she has every right to run out on, proves how Luz learned to be everything she is today through Camila's own loving heart. Vee was scared and hurt, and the second Camila saw that she was then more than willing to help because of it. It's something that Luz would do, and it proves that even though Camila didn't exactly get everything right, she's still a great mom where it counts.
“A new life”: A perfect line.
Initially, it makes audiences think that it has everything to do with replacing Luz. It's only through future context that we know it's about escaping the s**t show Vee once lived through that it's clear she's talking about starting over. It hits us with intrigue on the first viewing, only to hit harder with the feels during a second. Really well-done.
Luz in the Mirror: A well-done surprise that makes fans curious about how this even happen in the first place. Kudos to you, writers.
The New Portal: I don't mind that they found a way to build this off-screen. Showing Luz and the gang slowly building a new portal would have been a little too tedious to watch, and it's so much better to just start this episode out with it. Besides, maybe we'll get the slow and steadier version now that we've seen how quickly building one might not have been the best way to go, given how fast that thing fell apart.
Luz Between Dimensions: I have no clue what the hell that place she was in is called, but it's awesome! The overall design of the realm is the correct type of unsettling, like it's oozing with mystery, but it's somewhere that you probably don't want to be in for too long. Whoever designed it deserves all of the credit because I don't want to even think about all the hard work that went into making this look as well-made as it was.
Luz Resisting to See Amity: What? Luz and Amity are adorable, and seeing Luz's immediate thought about seeing Amity makes my shipping heart scream with glee. Don't judge me!
Hiding Luz’s Dad’s Face: Well, that was a fun story while it lasted.
So, it turns out that Luz's dad really was a part of Luz's and Camila's life at some point, but not anymore. As for why remains to be seen, as we don't really know yet if we'll see him make an appearance. I'd say that the odds are high that he will, given how much of a point this episode made about keeping his face hidden. Shows don't usually do that unless the goal is to hype up some official reveal, and I can't wait to see what comes of it.
Luz Telling Herself to Count to Five: Hey, more evidence for how I relate to Luz! I know how it feels to be all panicky about a specific situation, and I only got better when I took the time to calm down for a bit. Sometimes, I even tried the "count to x" method that Luz used...it never worked, primarily because it made me feel worse when people told me to do it, but I still tried it! Plus, there's also some narrative foreshadowing when after Luz says five, the realm shows her Vee, or Number V, which is a pretty cool detail you'll notice on a rewatch.
Luz Helping Vee: I gave Camila praise for helping Vee in the end, but that doesn't abstain Luz from her own set of recognition. The second that Luz realized that Vee wasn't really a threat and is far from evil, our favorite human does what she can to help and even makes a deal where they're both happy. Because, of course, Luz is that perfect of a protagonist who is more than willing to help others in need. And it's why we love her so.
Looking for Magic that Eda Left Behind: A pretty cool idea that gives Luz and Vee a chance to bond and giving us an insight into Eda's past antics and misadventures in the human realm. Not much I can add to it, though.
Gravesfield: It's surprisingly not as jarring as I thought it would be to spend an episode in the human realm. I thought for sure, after all that time in the Boiling Isles, there would be something off about walking around a normal environment for a change. Turns out, it's almost easy to get used to. Or, for me, it is.
But I will say that there's this neat use of colors when comparing Gravesfield with the Boiling Isles. In Gravesfield, the coloring looks dulled down and standard, which is a stark contrast to the bright vibrancy of everything we've seen in the Boiling Isles. It's a subtle way of showing how things are different, aside from the major discrepancies we could come to expect. And I think that's why I appreciate it much more.
Eda’s Called Herself Marylynn in the Human Realm: Hang on...hang on...do you mean to tell me that the crack theory about Eda being Stan's ex-wife is actually true?
...
...What even is this show?!
Vee Making Friends with Camp Members: This shows the most apparent difference between Luz and Vee. Where we see Luz is already fearing the many ways that could go wrong with interacting with teens, Vee revealed that she adapted to her situation and had a chance to make friends. The implications of this are worth discussing another time, but for now, I'll say that it's pretty intriguing that we gain this much insight into both Luz and Vee through such a small thing.
Belos Wanting to Learn How Basilisks can Drain Magic: ...Didn't Raine say that Belos was taking away magic? If so, I think we can figure out how he's doing it. The question now is: Why?
Jacob (The Curator Guy): This guy was a riot. At first, Jacob seemed like a threat with the way he trapped Vee and was apparently stocking her, but the second he goes off about his conspiracy theories, it becomes clear what type of character he is. And was it a blast seeing how much of a crackpot this man is. It wasn't cool seeing him wanting to dissect the precious angel that is Vee, but I still chuckle about things like his "Flat Eather's Certificate." So while he's not that much of a threat, he's still fun to watch.
The Owl Beast was in the Human Realm: ...How did that happen? When did it happen? And how the hell did Eda get out of a situation like that?! Who knows, but it's still a shocking piece of news to learn.
Luz Telling Camila the Truth: Hey, she faced her fear after all! Although, the results aren't as pleasant as when Amity faced her fear two weeks ago.
Camila is a Veterinarian: ...One insignificant reveal...managed to destroy so many fanfics. I mean, we probably shouldn't have just assumed Camila was a nurse...but what the f**k else were we supposed to think?! Sorry for seeing the scrubs, and the first thing that came to my mind was "nurse" and not "vet."
By the way, that had to have been intentional, right? There's no way that Dana Terrace didn't think we'd assume Camila was a nurse. She'd had to have put off a reveal like that just to trip up her fans. And if that's the case, then that is a major d**k move...but that's why I mildly respect it.
Two Human Brothers went to the Demon Realm: Turns out we don't have to be in the Boiling Isles to learn more about it. Because now we have more information about how two humans were taken to the Isles with the help of a witch, thus setting up a grander reveal if it turns out that one of the humans was Philip and the witch was Belos. Because if that's true...then there's more of a history between those two than we thought.
Jacob has a Training Wand: This helps me believe that it's highly likely for Jacob to make a return and to have a power boost for when he does. After all, focussing all that attention on the training wand is way too convenient for it not to come up again in the future. Meaning we're most likely going to get more pain from Jacob if he shows up again.
Camila Beats the Crap out of Jacob for Vee: ...Writers, don't make me choose between Camila and Eda on who's the better cartoon mom. I know Eda's technically not a mom...BUT I STILL DON'T WANT TO CHOOSE DAMNIT!
Also, the sandal...just...
Why the f**k does Camila have a sandal in her purse? I don't know. Is it still funny that she does? Most certainly.
Camila and Luz’s Talk in the Rain: Ooooooooh, I was not ready for this...
I wasn't ready for the crying.
I wasn't ready for the hurt in Camila's eyes when she found out Luz chose to stay in the Boiling Isles.
I wasn't ready for Camila asking if Luz hates being with her that much.
I wasn't ready for Luz profusely stating how it was never Camila's fault.
I was not ready for Camila to tell Luz that she'll try to do better.
And I definitely was not ready for Luz to barely have enough time to promise that she'll come back.
This episode wasn't the twenty-two minutes of nonstop angst that I thought it was going to be...but this short scene more than make up for it.
Luz Tries to Stay Strong: Yet another thing she unwittingly learned from Camila. Camila tried to keep a brave face when Vee was with her and Luz, most likely not wanting to tear either of them down in the process. Luz does the same thing here as she avoids talking about the details of what went down in her sort-of journey back home. And seeing her clearly fake smile slowly droop into an uncertain frown, it uh...it definitely tore me up inside.
WHAT I DISLIKED
I want to say it's perfect, but there's one major issue that really bogs this episode down.
Continuity Error in How Vee Replaced Luz: Having Vee take Luz's place the same day Luz appeared in the Isles is a smart idea on paper...if it wasn't for the fact that it's impossible.
Because Eda closed the portal door the second that she saw Luz, meaning that there's no way for Vee to go to the human realm. It's a major plothole that makes no sense, and it might just be the first time ever that this series wasn't so closely knit with its story. Which ends up taking a dive in quality in the process.
IN CONCLUSION
I'd say that "Yesterday's Lie" is an A-. Everything about Luz, Vee, and Camila is incredible, combined into a story that ends in tragedy and uncertainty for the future. That plothole may drag things down a bit, but everything else is handled so well that I'm not lying when I say it's easy to forgive and forget.
(And that's ten episodes in a row without a single stinker. HOW THE F**K DOES THIS SEASON KEEP WINNING?!)
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OBEY ME! LESSON 52 DETAILED SUMMARY + THEORIES
Two locked lessons :( hopefully telling where the fuck Mammon & Luke have been
Lucifer’s immediately suspicious of them, asking who they are and whose in charge of them. MC points at their obviously non-angelic clothes and says they’re angels while Satan says Simeon’s their guardian (weren’t Simeon & Lucifer really close back then? Wouldn’t he have told Lucifer if he got new angels?). He says it’s good luck then that he ran into a seraph’s assistants as he dumbs a load of books on them and says ‘I’m a seraph assist me’ or rather ‘carry these books to the library for me’ – Satan gets ready to protest but Lucifer cut him off saying that assuming they really are angels they’d know who he was (really didn’t like that ‘assuming you really are angels bit’) meaning his orders are not optional so get to work. Satan silently glares at him. Lucifer complains about how this is not even his job but Raphael’s who’s been picking on Lucifer to get back for how much shit his brother’s cause (I’ve so many HCs about Raphael and Michael. Raphael I always see as stoic and stiff who gets into those aggressively polite, passive-aggressive, thin lipped smile, voices hissed out and cutting, arguments with Lucifer about his brothers and punishing them adequately. Considering Michael is supposed to be somewhat childish personality wise and Raphael is serious I also see them having a relationship very similar to Diavolo and Lucifers’, With Raphael being Michael’s weary but fond handler). Satan says if his brothers are acting out then maybe Lucifer’s just bad at supervising them, MC sighs and sympathises with the tone of someone who has lived through the exact same experience which Lucifer immediately picks up and comments on. Beel’s been sneaking food, Belphie keeps escaping to the human world and even though they’re relatively minor things their frequency makes them add up and Raphael won’t stop being snide and sarcastic about it. Satan cuts off Lucifer’s ranting about how terrible Raphael is (given that outside of his brothers Simeon’s the only one Lucifer seems close with in the Celestial Realm and knowing Lucifer he’d never unload his troubles on to his brothers in fear of being seen as not being in control, and Beel mentioned Lucifer usually stuck to staying inside the Celestial Palace it makes sense that he desperately needs someone to rant to) saying that Lucifer complains too much and if he’s so happy here maybe he should just leave the celestial realm and head to – but he’s cut off by Lucifer saying “for an angel you really seem ready to start shit huh” and I’m pretty sure he knows :) Satan just silently glares back. Lucifer tries to tell them what the organising system in the library is but Satan cuts him off saying he can see what it is by just looking and then he diverts his attention to psychoanalysing Lucifer, asking if Lucifer’s pushing them around cause Raphael pushes him around. Lucifer ignores the last part saying no matter how much sully seems like he wants to tear Lucifer’s head off he’s skilful and knows his way around books, when Satan only glares back he asks if Satan likes books to which he replies that every book in this library is precious. Lucifer laments about how none of his brothers like books despite how much he tries to get them into reading and that there’s no one he knows who he can talk to about them since Michael “overcomplicates things and twists them into something they’re not” (do you think Michael has started his Lucifer shrine at this point or does that happen after the fall?) and Raphael “who’s snide and generally unpleasant” (God if they do introduce the angels I desperately want them to be dicks. Like give me one person who’s an asshole that’s not hiding a secret soft side, I want someone who looks at MC sneers and then continues to never fall in love with them) though there is Simeon who’s the most normal of them. He says his life would be easier if he had someone like Sully for a brother (poor Satan’s probably going through a crisis rn). Lucifer says that Satan can look around and pick any book he wants and even points him towards a section meant only for seraph. Satan hesitantly picks up one and asks for permission and Lucifer notes he’s a fan of art. After they’re done Lucifer calls Satan close to look at a particularly interesting book with a blank cover. There’s a flash of bright white light and chains burst from inside the book and wrap around Satan who gets immediately pissed off, demanding what’s happening (earning their trust just to flip on them like that!? Specially satan!? The years of progress that just undid!?) Does he already know Satan is a demon? I mean they’re both pretty suspicious either way but I’m pretty sure he won’t take them to the other higher ups considering how he spoke about them and I’m 100% sure if this was pre-Diavolo angel!Lucifer he would have killed Satan on the spot without bothering to trap him.
Satan yells at Lucifer to do something (I don’t know if it’s sweet or sad that no matter how much Satan pretends to hate Lucifer in the end he absolutely believes Lucifer would never do anything to hurt him and would help him if he was in trouble even when Satan’s usual logic should tell him that Lucifer intentionally gave him the book). Lucifer says it makes sense that Satan got caught and when MC tries to help him Satan tells them to stay back cause he doesn’t want them to get caught either. Lucifer says the book is alive and catches evil beings and the harder you struggle the tighter the chains get (don’t you think Evil has two meanings in the OM! World? The brothers and the demons in general are referred to as evil a lot but when it comes down to it they’re all good people – heavily flawed with pretty loose morals – but more or less good people certainly not bad enough to be called evil. Evil tm seems to be what all demons naturally are but that it seems to have nothing to do with the puppy kicking, baby eating, mass murder you’d usually associate with the term. So yeah two different meanings. I think technically inanimate objects like the book would react to the natural Evil tm in the brothers and actual people like the angels will associate that natural Evil tm with the normal evil we all know and thus believe all demons are puppy kicking, baby eating, mass murderers). Lucifer said he would have known if Simeon got two angels (BOOM!) and that he knew from the beginning they weren’t angels (just look at their freaky ass non-white coloured clothes!). Satan says Lucifer playing dirty is something that has never changed. Lucifer says he has no fucking clue what Satan’s talking about and then looks at MC and says “wtf are you anyway” when MC answers he says that Michael’s being interested in a human sorcerer recently but guesses that’s not MC, he says they’re obviously not a demon or angel but doesn’t seem to believe the human thing fully too because he again asks and emphasises, “Interesting…What are you, exactly…” (This is the second time OM!’s implied MC’s not fully human, demon or angel with the first being in a devilgram. In my first ever HC list I said I see MC as a hybrid of the three while still being mostly human – because when Lilith died she was no longer an angel but she wasn’t fully a demon either and that particular magic unique to only her travelled with her when she reincarnated and then travelled unnoticed through her descendants and was magnified after MC made pacts with the 7 brothers and started sharing their powers). Satan latches on to that, stating MC’s not a demon so Lucifer should only be interested in him but that piques Lucifer’s interest more and he moves closer to MC because why would a demon protect someone else. MC tells Lucifer to let Satan go (and it’s said in a way where it’s implied it’s an order not an option and MC’s a little insane right?) Satan says there’s no point trying to get Lucifer to listen before he transforms into his demon form saying Lucifer never listens, to which Lucifer is silent (Y’all really need to talk after all this is over), before he says there’s no need for Satan to lose his temper and that Lucifer would let them go which obviously shocks Satan. Lucifer releases Satan who asks what Lucifer’s new plot is. Lucifer’s like “wow you have zero trust in me” and Satan’s like “bitch, I have negative trust in you”. Lucifer says there’s no plots and Satan says he’s lying. Lucifer says that the old him would have drop kicked a demon on site and wouldn’t have released them just so they could talk. And what does Lucifer want to talk about? His new demon boo <3 ugh sorry “acquaintance”. He says he never would have imagined he’d have a demon as an acquaintance but here we are. Lucifer says he’s strange, that he doesn’t act like a demon and that the more they talk the less he understands him but that he likes talking to him and there’s a certain feeling he gets from talking to Diavolo similar to the one he gets when talking to Satan (familiarity? Belonging? Kinship? Affection?) and I can’t believe we went from Lucifer complaining about his co-workers to him asking advice about what sounds like his first crush. Lucifer says he also wants to know more about Satan and that he only used the book to make sure he actually was a demon and he asks Satan to forgive him, Satan is silent and contemplative. Lucifer says he’s answered Satan’s questions and isn’t there something that Satan should say to him, more specifically, “thank you for releasing me”. Satan mumbles under his breath “holy shit I can’t believe you made me believe you were nice! You’re as nasty as ever” but still flushes red and says thanks. Lucifer’s pleased by it and says that for his good manners he won’t report anything to Michael but in return they have to follow him again.
Lucifer leads them back to a rooftop? where the brothers are. Mammon says Lucifer’s late and that Beel ate the food they’d left aside for him, while Belphie complains about how after Lucifer told all of them not to be late he was. Lucifer smiles and tells Belphie to not get mad about it in exchange for Lucifer ignoring that Belphie slept on the job. Belphie says that’s playing dirty. Asmo & Levi say that considering all the work Lucifer has these days they shouldn’t be mad at him, they then ask why Satan left and that they were worried about him & MC. Belphie asks since when were they friends with Lucifer, A red faced Satan says they’re not. Beel happily points out that Satan’s face is progressively turning more red and Satan says that all the eggs Beel ate contained reddite and it was fucking up his eyesight and this exactly the sort of BS I’d say to my brother to get him off my back the om! Team writes sibling relationships so well???? Beel questions about reddite and Satan just goes balls deep with the lie, creating a new disorder, explaining how it works and what the permanent effects are to which Beel immediately starts panicking until Belphie says Satan’s just being a lil’ shit. Simeon congratulates MC on their therapy skills but MC says it’s Lucifer who did everything. Simeon says Lucifer shouldn’t get all the credit (because yeah honestly sometimes just having someone to sit with you and hold your hand even if you don’t talk goes a long way when you’re having a bad time). Mammon asks Lucifer why he called them all here. Lucifer uses magic and suddenly the sky daylit sky outside is replaced by the stars and moon and night sky. Lucifer says Michael made Raphael remodel the room (so they’re in the observatory?) to show the human sky as well and Lucifer wanted to check it out before Michael had the chance. All the brothers are in awe. MC asks if Michael will be pissed that Lucifer checked out what is clearly his room first and Lucifer says he doesn’t give a flying fuck about it. Belphie’s thrilled and asks if anyone knows any stories about the constellations, Satan says he knows about every single one. Asmo asks him to tell them and he starts pointing out stars first the three stars forming the triangle of Betelgeuse, then Cator and Pollux – gemini - who are incredibly close and are like peas in a pod which the twins instantly claim as their own, and then orion. Simeon is happy that Satan looks so happy.
Mc is later woken up by Satan, with the others already asleep around the room, he says the stupid faces they make when they sleep hasn’t changed over the years. MC notes that Simeon and Lucifer are missing and asks about it. He says he has no idea and that they must have gone off together, he then asks them to keep quiet about what they saw here when they got back home. MC’s not on board with that and says there’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Satan blushes says he’s not but that the brothers will tease him but in the end he’s happy they came here. He thanks MC and they say they’re just happy seeing him being so happy and he calls them mean for teasing him, the twins start moving around in bed and end up in weird positions – Satan fondly complains about that never changing and how they wouldn’t survive without him and goes to straighten them out. MC goes to find Lucifer and Simeon. They then eavesdrop on them talking in the forest. Lucifer says that Simeon looks really good as a human and Simeon says coming from Lucifer that’s a grand compliment. He then says he knows that none of this is real but that he’s truly happy he got to see Lucifer like this one more time. Lucifer asks what he’s talking about considering Simeon sees him so much every day that Lucifer figures Simeon would be sick of him and that nothing is going to change. “This is who we are. And who we’ll be forever” (and this whole thing is so fucking bittersweet and I forget that Simeon lost all his closest friends in the Celestial Realm in one fell sweep and then went through whatever unknown events got him demoted). Simeon looks sad for just a moment before he smiles and says, “Forever, huh…That’s such a wonderful word, but so very fragile.” (actual tears rn). Simeon says he knows Lucifer’s met Diavolo by now and that he’s felt lingering doubt crawl into his heart so when Lucifer says forever even he himself is not sure if he means it (this also explains one of the reasons why Simeon isn’t Diavolo’s biggest fan because while leaving was definitely the brothers’ decision he probably unconsciously or lowkey resents Diavolo for putting the thought into Lucifer’s head and showing him that leaving was an available option) Lucifer stutters and doesn’t know what to say to that. (Okay so ik that some of y’all see the “brothers no more” chat name and see Lucifer and Simeon brothers but I’ve always considered that to mean “brothers in arms”? Not actual siblings? One, because Lucifer would never have left one of his siblings behind, no matter how much they kicked and screamed and refused to leave he would have dragged them down to the Devildom with him. Two, Lucifer treats Simeon as an equal something he doesn’t do to his brothers. With his brothers he’s overprotective and condescending, controlling and overbearing. He’s basically helicopter-parenting and you can clearly see that he doesn’t treat them as equals unlike the way he treats Simeon. Third there’s a clear distance between Simeon and the brothers. I mean they’re all really close but the brothers don’t treat Simeon the same way they treat each other or even the way they treat Lucifer – there always seems to be an underlying layer of respect. I mean sure they respect Lucifer and each other (hard as it may be to see) but they can also call Lucifer and each other ‘dickheads’ to the face something I don’t see them doing with Simeon. The brothers’ relationship with Simeon, I see in the same way I’d treat the composed sweet close friend of a sibling who is much much much older than me. So yeah I see Simeon as being Lucifer’s childhood friend, where they grew up in each other’s pockets, went to war together and fought alongside each other and ended up working in the same place in similar positions).
MC wakes up to someone shaking them and calling their name (you can choose it to be either Luke or Mammon. Because I’m a sim: ) Mammon gives a short relieved laugh when they wake up, asking them what they’re doing sleeping in the middle of the forest and how no matter how much he shook them they didn’t wake up and how he was worried. Satan says they’re back in the real world and Mammon asks them wtf they’re talking about saying he doesn’t remember anything, MC asks where they were and says they were worried. Neither Luke nor Mammon remember anything and didn’t even remember disappearing, saying they walked in the HoL and the next minute they were back to standing in the forest. Mammon and Luke have a brief argument about how they might have actually been in danger and the word chihuahua is thrown and protested to until Mammon remembers and asks what the other two are doing here and MC explains how and why they came here. Luke says okay “but when you say you tripped balls and had a shared hallucination what exactly do you mean…” Satan shuts that down quickly. Luke asks what even happened. Simeon hands him a pamphlet where the whole section about the HoL is gone, in its place is a passage about rumours of fairies who lure people and tease and torment them. Satan says it’s a miracle they made it out alive. Simeon says it’s because of the hawthorn berry powder Satan is covered in because fairies are very fond of hawthorn berries and as a thank you to Satan for bringing it to them they showed him something he’d always wanted to experience. This line makes Mammon & Luke even more curious and Satan threatens Simeon not to say a word but he forgot MC’s a shithead so they begin, “So we found ourselves in the Celestial Realm –“ before Satan cuts them off, telling them to shut up and threatening them with him going to Lucifer and telling him a whole list of bad things Mammon did whether they’re true or not and azkcjbscjwzx I can’t believe Satan just called MC a simp like that right to their face in front of everyone what the fuuuuuuck!????? Mammon oblivious loveable idiot that he is doesn’t understand why he’s being threatened. Simeon reminds them of why they even came out here and MC remembers the fairies/fairy rings, Mammon laments not been able to get their treasure and Luke calls him evil for wanting to steal it. Mammon says treasure or fairy rings it’s still the same but Luke vehemently protests against that. Mammon does note that despite running into fairies there doesn’t seem to be any fairy rings around and Simeon says they may have to give up for now, Satan agrees saying after all the emotional upheaval he’s exhausted. Both Luke and Mammon are really disappointed. (So about the vision/hallucination/reality they saw it reminded me of that thing Dumbledore said in the last Harry Potter book when they were in Kings Cross station. Something about how just because it’s a dream doesn’t mean it’s not real.)
Back in the train station Mammon and Luke are still sulking and MC says at least they had fun together, mammon agrees minus the part at the end that turned into a scene from a horror movie. Satan asks Simeon why he’s smirking, Simeon says he’s remembering how adorable Satan had looked while he was teaching his brothers the constellations for the first time and how he wished real Lucifer was there to see it. Satan demands that none of this goes back to Lucifer. Simeon laughs evilly and MC says Lucifer would be so happy if he knew and Satan – red-faced – says that’s exactly why he doesn’t want Lucifer to know and sighs about how satan still can’t admit to how much he loves Lucifer. Simeon says that it’s a special opportunity considering this particular group don’t get to travel together that often but Mammon still sulks until he’s back on the train and fawning over how good the food is. Luke calls mammon a simpleton for how easily his moods flip-flop (hey???? I take offense to that) and mammon snaps back at him, Luke says since Mammon’s always talking about him like he’s a dog he doesn’t get to complain and Simeon laughs about how close they seem, Satan’s confused by Simeon’s definition of close and MC says you tend to fight more with people you’re closer to (which yeah it’s true for me at least. I’d always argue with someone I’m close to vs someone I just know and they’re never serious arguments either just stupid shit that you can trade friendly-rude barbs over). Luke says he’d never be close with a demon like Mammon and Mammon says for such a small kid Luke’s got a big mouth, Luke bites back and they continue. Simeon tells MC if they thought they could get rest on the train back they’re greatly mistaken cause Simeon was only able to book 4 rooms so two of them will have to share and that immediately stops Luke & Mammon’s argument. MC feels all of their eyes boring into them before they all start volunteering to share a room with MC. Luke suggests they draw straws or play rock-paper-scissors to decide, Mammon suggests cards but Satan says that he can see in Mammon’s eyes that he plans on cheating and an argument breaks out making the others on the train turn to stare at them and this time MC genuinely seems to consider jumping off a moving train instead they command the demons to stay. Simeon says that never stops being funny and Luke says it actually looks painful and ik MC only uses it when things are getting out of hand and they aren’t listening to reason and are causing a scene that can lead to a (usually) public brawl but the command to stay still feels icky to me.
In the corridor MC finds a silent sad looking Simeon and asks him what’s wrong. Simeon tries to deflect it, gets oddly scatter brained about where he put down his tea, says that even though rock-paper-scissors was a fair was to decide he’s disappointed but the look on Mammon & Luke’s faces when they found out they would be sharing was worth it. MC picking up on how all over the place he seems asks if something is bothering him. He says not really but sort of? He says Satan wasn’t the only one impacted by the whole Celestial Realm fever dream and that seeing the brothers as angels again brought back happy memories until he remembered that they aren’t there anymore and that the Celestial Realm is different now which made him depressed. MC hugs them and Simeon says they’re warm and smell comforting before he thanks them he then blushes and says he would like to kiss them and MC gets the chance to either tell him to go ahead or to gently say “No, Simeon…” he understands that there’s someone else and that whoever that is he’s very lucky. He then gives them the star of patience and tells them they’re gonna be an amazing sorcerer. Simeon says he wished he could’ve had MC as a guardian angel and MC goes “wait…do angels even have guardian angels!?” and Simeon says …no. He then wishes them goodnight.
On the way to bed MC hears voices from the roof and goes to check it out only to find the other 3. The three of them are arguing about constellations. Mammon points out Scorpius correctly and calls Orphiuchus next to it the scorpion bearer, Luke says it’s the goat bearer, Mammon says “what even is the difference between scorpions and goats, Satan says they’re both wrong and MC says it’s the serpent bearer. They pull MC down beside them and Luke says Satan was telling them about the seven sisters and asks if they know what it’s called. MC gets to answer. Mammon asks if there’s a seven brother’s constellation and Luke says there is one in the Celestial Realm, with everyone knowing about the legend behind the constellation being about the brothers’ fall. Mammon asks what they’re like and Luke says they’re seven bright stars with three others watching over them. Luke says he doesn’t know what the three stars are supposed to represent and Mammon suggests it might be Michael, Luke says that’d be weird cause Michael only has two eyes so what’s the third one, Mammon suggests it could be like Michael’s nostril or something and I’m in genuine tears over this, my chest hurts from how much I laughed, Luke says that’s stupid and MC who is actually just as stupid as Mammon but who is also much better at hiding it suggest two eyes and a mouth, Luke goes “…heeeeh?” finally realising one of his role models is a dumbass before he starts protesting asking why the two of them are so fixated on it being two eyes, Satan suggests that they might represent demons, angels and humans and luke says that feels right (personally I think they’re Michael, Raphael and Simeon) Mammon suggests the human star would be MC and Satan agrees. (okay so I think the seven brothers stars are completely BS. Why? Because Michael and the angels had no idea Satan existed. Hell even Lucifer didn’t know until Satan was born after they fell. Michael would have had no relationship with Satan, hell they’ve never even met, for him to be sentimental and it makes no sense that a place Satan has never really been to would have a star for him. They would have a star for Lilith though. That makes sense. But the story of Lilith’s death and probably even her existence seems to be very securely hidden away considering even Luke who’s so close with Michael doesn’t seem to know why the brothers fell. The angels wouldn’t have named stars after the brothers immediately after their fall and it would have taken time for them all to heal, reach a place of forgiveness and start to grieve and miss what they’d lost. So I bet by this time, the news that there was a seventh brother had come up and the angels in the know jumped at the chance to use him as a cover story for the seventh star rather than admit a girl was killed over falling in love and then using her powers to heal a human. So yeah. The seven brothers stars feel like utter BS. Seven siblings on the other hand…). Mammon tells Luke to hurry up and get on with it and Luke gives MC the star of generosity. Luke thanks them for everything, saying that though they didn’t find a fairy ring he had fun and made good memories, he then thanks them for always being there for them all.
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revivingbionicle · 3 years
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Episode 4, episode 5, and other thoughts
EPISODE 4
I was very worried about episode 4. The further I got into making it over the last month the more I questioned the entire script. Were the characters acting in-character? Is it too boring with all the talking? Will people be ok with an episode where humor was less of a focus?
If the youtube comments are any indication, it still worked out. There are still some issues I have with it, both editing-wise and writing-wise, but it got important story information across and that’s what mattered.
It was an honor presenting it in on the 810nicle day stream, the same stream that had the founders of bionicle on it. Despite some people in the chat being very confused as to what it was, I’m glad I could contribute.
The episode felt a little “out of my hands” when I wrote it. I knew what was going to happen and all I did was put it into words. I tried to make it interesting, and add a few jokes, but since the beginning the tone and events of this episode were set in stone. It may sound weird, but for better or worse, this installment was supposed to be told this way, and I couldn’t do much about it.
So, sorry if this episode wasn’t your cup of tea. I just did what the story required.
EPISODE 5
Episode 5 will be a return to form. I just gave the outline a once-over not long ago, and not only is it funny, but it’s meaningful, exciting, and special. This will be the best thing I’ll have ever created. It’s going to be insane.
Unfortunately, that means it’ll be a long time before it comes out. So long that I don’t know when it’ll come out. The outline is massive, still requires some fleshing out and there are some things that require spending money that I don’t have.
Because I’m gonna sink some actual money into this.
Look, I don’t think I’m gonna make it into the real-world film industry as a writer or director. I don’t think any of these dreams are gonna come true. So I’m going to make sure this is the best thing I’ve ever made in my entire life, no matter the cost.
I’m gonna peak here.
OTHER THOUGHTS
Now my life can go back to normal for a little while. I’m going to focus on halo videos, riding on the back of infinite. The last few months have been hectic getting these episodes out, and I need a break from bionicle.
I’ll try to keep you guys more updated on how it’s going. I was pretty radio silent for the last two episodes, but now I’ll be giving the status of how it’s coming, maybe even some small graphics detailing how it’s progressing. Posters and trailers will be coming out beforehand, too.
Also, the soundtrack for act 2 will be released at some point! I’ll update this blog when it’s out.
Welcome to the end.
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kbsd · 4 years
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not sure if you’ve answered this before, but what’s your process look like when you make an amv? i’m just curious and in constant awe of ppl who can make videos like you do :)
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hello all!!! i have answered this before and i have a vid help tag with other asks i’ve gotten about stuff like this! but i’ve gotten several more messages along these lines so i’m just going to answer a bunch of them together (under a cut since i love to ramble about editing lol). i do just wanna say i’m definitely not the authority on video editing and obv everyone has their own techniques!
edit: i just finished typing all this up and it’s SO long so sorry in advance LMAO god bless anyone who reads this entire thing
so i work in news tv and we have a very specific workflow for writing scripts, sourcing video, producing, and editing. i’ve just applied that to making amvs! for every video i make, i copy the song lyrics into a google doc and adjust them to match the song i’ve cut (i often will trim songs for time and/or content purposes). then i start planning! i’ll mark down what clip i want to use for each lyric next to that line, and any sound bites i want to use (with episode numbers!). i’ll color code between video and sound bites and lyrics, so my scripts end up looking something like this (for my honeybee amv):
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doing the planning ahead of time makes everything much easier when it’s a video that spans the whole show or involves a lot of sourcing, like honeybee or sports analogies. that way when i get to the actual editing process, i already know what i’m going to do and have a game plan. for videos like happy ending or believe it or not, where i’m mainly just pulling from a few episodes, i can just plan it in my head as opposed to writing it all down, and produce as i edit. obviously i do make in-the-moment decisions while editing—sometimes a shot doesn’t work the way i thought it would, or i go where the video takes me—but planning ahead definitely helps. i know some people use spreadsheets as well, with columns for lyrics, video clips, and sound bites if applicable. once you find a system that works, it actually goes pretty quickly.
as for sourcing clips themselves/finding clips within episodes, i talked about that here and kind of here. the short version is that transcripts are a must, and the supernatural wiki is hugely helpful by cataloguing all the hugs, prayers, phone calls, etc. in the show. gifmakers that tag episode numbers on their posts are your friends. it gets easier the more video you make—that’s another huge reason i make the google docs for each video (even the ones i plan in my head, i end up going back and making a loose script with episode notes just for reference). if i can’t remember where something is but i know i used it in another video, i can easily reference past scripts!
i also cut all my videos in the same project in premiere pro, so i can flip between them easily. instead of checking a past script, i can just go to the video sequence itself and copy the clip i’m looking for! this was especially helpful when i match cut together the 5x18 and 4x22 wall slam shots for my bestie video, and then stole it from myself for honeybee hahaha. at any given time i have at least 8 sequences open:
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because of the sheer volume of videos i make, it’s worth it for me to download the entire show—i have all 327 episodes in HD, plus deleted scenes. if you think you’re only going to make a few videos, i’d start with scene packs. you can usually just google “destiel [or whatever ship/character you’re looking for] scene packs” and there will be any number of ones you can download. if you need other specific scenes, you can always download/torrent individual episodes or screen record netflix (that’s what i did before i got HD download links). i’m happy to share my links if you DM, but be warned it’s a lot of disk space (about 500GB on my hard drive). someone also compiled every destiel scene, downloadable here.
having every episode already loaded in premiere for all my projects also makes it a lot easier to source clips. once i use a clip in a video, i’ll put a marker on the episode file, so that after a while i have most of the important scenes/lines marked to easily find them. to give you an idea, this is my episode file in premiere for 12x10 lily sunder has some regrets (markers at destiel scenes, the car fight, hot girl cas, etc.). markers are the green tabs along the bottom:
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premiere also lets you color code and name markers, so ONE DAY i will go back and color code them all. the ones above are all the same color, but in a perfect world, i’d have a myraid—for destiel shots like hugs, touches, looks; for important pieces of dialogue; for action shots; etc. but for now this works ok for me, so that’s a project for another time!
between detailed scripts, one giant premiere project, markers, the wiki, and my own memory, i have so many points of reference that i can usually find any clip i need in about 2 minutes max. sound bites are often harder to start out, or tiny specific shots i haven’t used before, and that’s when i turn to tumblr gifsets or beloved mutuals to crowdsource. but if you’re as obsessive about marking/keeping neat scripts as i am, it gets easier and easier with every video you make. that’s part of why i’m able to cut videos together so quickly. (also i want to stress i do this for a living and have to produce/edit a new piece for my show every day so i’m used to it. and compared to constantly updating content/sources and news that changes every day, 327 highly documented episodes that never change are much easier to handle hahaha)
this is all great for me since i make so many videos and plan to continue doing so, but if you’re only making a few, this level of work isn’t worth it imo. really it’s all about developing a system that works for you. whatever you do with episodes/sourcing, though, i cannot recommend planning things out in a script ahead of time enough. 
everything i just mentioned is producing, though. for the editing process, i usually do it in this order:
music first. any parts i want to cut, i make sure it all sounds smooth
then soundbites. i usually try to weave them into the lyrics—i have characters talk in breaks between lines or instrumental sections as much as possible. i’ll sometimes go so far as looped/extending an intsrumental part to make room for the soundbite i want there lol. if i do have dialogue over a line, i do the sound mixing/levels at this point as well to make sure everything is audible/one doesn’t overpower the other. (also i always include the video that goes with these bites when i drop them in, and decide later if i want to show the character speaking or have other clips cover the dialogue)
once i have all the audio locked in, then i bring in all my other video clips. sometimes i edit completely chronologically, sometimes jumping from section to section—it depends on the song or how i’m feeling
double check sound mixing. i usually listen to my videos through a few times, with headphones and without to make sure it’ll sound good no matter how people watch it
once i have picture and audio lock, i go through and color correct my clips. i’m basic and just use lumetri color in premiere, and usually just play with brightness, saturation, temperature, and tint until i like it
render and export! :)
i always have several audio tracks, but i try to keep my video tracks condensed. i’ll drop clips on a V2 level, and edit a section there, and drop the whole chunk down to V1 so i know it’s finished. that way when i leave and come back i can know where i left off/what’s done/etc. to give you an idea, this is the timeline for my what the hell video:
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i always render as H.264 with high bitrate, and make sure to check “render at maximum depth” and “use maximum render quality” for the best quality. i’m sorry, but i don’t know what the equivalent options are in final cut, imovie, kdenlive, etc. i post on youtube mostly so i don’t have to sacrifice quality, but usually just using a lower bitrate will get you under the tumblr file size limit and it’ll still look good.
as for the anon who asked about “polishing”: first of all, thank you!! second of all, it’s in the details. all of this is a matter of taste and my own insanity, but here are some little things i always try to do:
after i color correct, i blur out any credits from the starts of episodes. i use gaussian blur for this, but really any blur tool works
as much as possible, i avoid clips where we see a character’s mouth move but don’t hear the words. in tv/film we call it “lip flap” and i just think it looks messy. also i’m trained to avoid it at all costs at work hahaha. it’s more for serious videos that this matters a lot to me (e.g. i think i did a really good job eliminating lip flap in my happy ending amv)—for comedy videos i don’t sweat it as much
i put audio fades on the start and end of every single audio clip i use, even if i don’t think i need it, to make sure everything sounds smooth
i use markers for timing, especially in action-y videos like what the hell. i’ll put a marker on the clip i’m using at the exact moment a punch lands, and in the song on the beat. if i have the magnet/snap in timeline tool on i can just easily snap them together instead of having to spend time finagling it
this is such a small thing but i dip/cut to black for a tiny bit at the start and end of every video. this way if i post with tumblr video player, there’s black between the loops, and it gives you a beat before the video restarts. i do this even on videos i post on youtube, just because i think it looks nicer/more professional
this is 1,500 words so i’m going to stop myself before i pull something. if you have follow-up questions feel free to ask and i’ll continue to add them to the vid help tag, but any more questions about sourcing clips or my process in general i’ll just link this post going forward. anyone who made it this far, i am sending to a telepathic kiss. thank you for reading and happy editing!
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