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#also I’m not in any fandom so I don’t know if this is a bad idea to say on tumblr
Note
Hi. I’m sending this anonymously but if tumblr glitches and it isn’t anonymous please don’t post this because I’m absolutely completely entirely mortified.
I’m 20 FtM. About a year and a half ago, when I moved out and started at college, I discovered fandom, and began to get really into reading fics on AO3. My parents had heavily restricted my internet access growing up, and as new adult I began to discovered the barrage of content online.
Soon enough, I was spending about an hour or two every night reading smut fics. I never thought anything of it, because, well, it’s just words, it’s not *actually* porn, right?
Recently I did start watching some explicit videos but tried to limit myself to only once or twice a month because the shame I felt as well as the strange dissatisfaction just wasn’t worth it.
After doing some research, I found a study that said that watching porn for more than an hour a week was unhealthy. I thought, yeah, okay, fair enough.
Then I realised: does my fanfiction reading count as pornography?
I kept thinking to myself that because it was text it didn’t count, but —does it? Is that the reason that lately I’ve been feeling strangely dissatisfied and empty after reading/watching? Will I feel like this when I eventually have sex?? (still a virgin, mainly for dysphoria reasons)
I found all this stuff online that says porn addictions can screw you over for life, that you can’t find sexual satisfaction with a partner.
Should I cut back?
I don’t normally masturbate while consuming porn. I feel too ashamed. I normally just sit there and read/watch.
Am I a porn addict?????? Should I quit reading smut? Help.
If you can’t tell, I wasn’t raised in a very sex positive environment and I feel very ashamed. I don’t really know who to talk to and I just feel very guilty so I’m resorting to an anonymous ask on Tumblr.
If you read this, thank you for taking the time. I appreciate it.
— Jason
hi Jason,
I don't think you're a porn addict. I think you're probably just an anxious 20 year old from a pretty restrictive background and now that you have a little more freedom you're kind of nervous about it, which is very normal.
I want to be super clear: written porn is porn. porn is any sexually explicit material designed to titillate; it's existed since WAY before the moving picture existed and it will exist long after the internet has crumbled to dust. people like porn! and it's okay to like porn. the text-based stuff is particularly high on the list of porn that's pretty unambiguously fine, morally-speaking, because you never have to worry that the performer you're watching has had their video stolen by pornhub or that, god forbid, anyone onscreen isn't a willing participant, but I want to be super clear that liking sexually explicit photos or videos of real people is also 100% fine.
obviously I have no idea what study you read, but I'd be cautious about any study being boiled down to such black and white, attention-grabbing headlines. you can interpret a study to mean virtually anything if you want to, and there are a lot of interest groups with a vested interest in demonizing porn. if reading smutty fan fic makes you happy and isn't interfering with the rest of your life, you should do that.
unfortunately it sounds like it's not making you happy lately, dissatisfied and empty feelings. in the kindest way possible, I don't think much of that is being caused by the porn itself. it sounds like it's coming from your gnawing worry that you're a porn addict. maybe it's best to take a little step away from porn and smutty fic for a while, if only until you feel able to engage with it without feeling bad.
also, speaking of porn addiction: that's a very dubious condition, and one that's not scientifically or medically recognized. to be certain, people can develop a reliance on porn that disrupts their daily function and can wreak havoc on their lives, but that's true of anything that causes your brain to spit out happy chemicals. anything that become a maladaptive coping mechanism, including and especially things that are fine and even necessary in small doses. sleeping, exercising, and going shopping are all things that can be life-ruining if done to harmful excess, but that doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong if you like to sleep in, go for runs, or browse your favorite online stores every once in a while.
if reading smut isn't causing you to skip out on your more important obligations, fail to take care of yourself, or bringing on bankruptcy, I think you're probably alright. the biggest danger I see here is you beating yourself over the head with your own anxiety about this, which may be a sign that it's a good idea to take a step back for entirely different reasons than you were worried about.
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thecreelhouse · 2 days
Text
accident prone
part two - I laugh often, so, I suppose, I’m gonna be fine
Paring: Steve Harrington x fem!OC - Francesca “Frankie” Amato
Summary: Steve and Frankie really get to know one another, and the friendship blossoms quickly. So fast, Steve can’t keep up with his own feelings, even in the face of an emergency.
WC: 8.6k+
Includes: angst, hurt/comfort (like, a lot), internalized ableism, language, PTSD, revolving around Hawkins/the Upside Down, discussions of chronic pain/illness and disabilities, a teensy bit of fluff and flirting if you squint, medical emergencies, etc.
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series playlist ⋮ masterlist 
here, here and here - meg & dia
↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺
“I’m a wanderer now, sorrow befalls me / I laugh often so, I suppose, I’m gonna be fine”
A/N: hey there! Wow. I didn’t think this would really gain any attention— this fandom seems to hate OCs (y’all’s loss tbh), but the support I got on the last chapter, though small to some major blogs, means a fuck ton to me. I don’t want to tag everyone, but thank you to whoever sent me a kind message or pep talk after posting the first part— I really am glad this is relating to others with chronic health concerns, one way or another. Even if it relates to one person, it means more than meaningless notes. Also, may 12th is Fibromyalgia Awareness Day! So, consider this my contribution lol. As previously stated, for anyone with fibro, or without, but living with a chronic illness/condition, mental and/or physical, I am sending all my love, and this is for you <3
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The next morning, Steve’s up early; if he can’t push past the pain, he’ll try working with it. He refuses to let the opportunity to get to know Frankie slip away. 
And the opportunity for a possible job. That’s important, too. Just… not right at this very moment.
What the hell do I wear? 
He glances at the pair of glasses he’s been neglecting lately, just annoyed he needs yet another tool of assistance to help him function; his vision blurs easily these days, especially with migraines. And while it’s not severe, he’s been warned to wear the glasses to prevent further deterioration of his vision.
To Steve, it’s another reminder of how broken he feels. If this was about anyone else, he wouldn’t feel that way, but when it comes to himself, the internal ableism never ends.
Just like the day before, everything hurts terribly. It’s one of those days where even certain fabrics and elastics add to the widespread ache, and it’s not like he has to dress up, but he doesn’t want to just show up in sweats, either.
At least I don’t have to wear that ugly, stiff uniform anymore.
He opts for a well-worn, loose cardigan with a pair of jeans that he ripped at the knee years ago; the tear is conveniently over his bad knee, making it easier to wear the brace he has on his bad joint days. And today, he really needs it. 
Steve also needs a boost of confidence and a way to shake his nerves; the thought of seeing Frankie again and possibly getting another job have him on edge.
Too bad there’s no medical device to assist him on that one.
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Noticing the ‘CLOSED’ sign on the door of the record shop, Steve hesitates, realizing he should’ve asked Frankie about the hours; a tiny note taped to the bottom of the sign catches his eye. “Unless your name is Steve,” is scribbled in disheveled handwriting, with a small smiley face drawn at the end.
Entering the record shop, he first sees Frankie, sitting criss-crossed on the checkout counter; her cane is laid over her lap while she’s meticulously applying stickers to the aluminum. The door’s chime goes off, and her head pops up, immediately breaking into the warm smile Steve had thought about since the last time they spoke. 
“Steve!” There’s an urge within her to hop off the counter and greet him with a hug, but she holds back, reminding herself that they’re barely even friends. “Hi,” She opts for a wave instead, eyes falling to the coffees, one in each hand.
He shyly nods with a sweet smile, all bundled up in layers most folks would consider unnecessary. For him and his temperature intolerance, the obnoxious amount of warmth is very necessary.
“Hi, Frankie,” He hands her coffee over to her, in all its icy, sugary sprinkled glory. She takes it, eyes crinkling as she smiles wide. Steve can’t help teasing, “Cade’s right, you really are sick for liking iced coffee in the winter.”
Her smile flips into a comical frown before snarking, “He’s never getting that damn tape now.”
“The one about dinosaurs?”
Frankie snorts just as she takes a sip of her coffee, covering her face with her sweater bundled arm.
“Robin told me you’d say something like that.” 
“… So it’s not about—“
“Steve, it’s the name of a band,” She giggles, moving her arm away from her face. Steve notices the way her sleeves cascade over her hands completely; the sweater she’s in is way too big, but with that and her flowing skirt, she looks comfortable, and warm. 
“Right. I knew that!” He tries playing it off with a shrug, “They’re great.”
“You’ve never listened to them before have you?”
He laughs at the knowing smirk Frankie gives him, shaking his head, “Yeah, no, not at all.” If this was high school, he’d be trying to save face right now, to look cool, pretend he knew what he was talking about. Mid-twenties Steve is able to let it roll off his back, poke fun at himself, move on.
Plus, Steve knows this interaction wouldn’t happen at all in high school. Labels and useless popularity would keep them far, far apart. He’s alright with that; Frankie definitely didn’t need someone like ‘King Steve’ and his bullshit to deal with. 
“Okay. What about Jawbreaker?”
“… The candy?”
Frankie giggles, shaking her head, before running down a list of bands off the top of her head; The Cure, Joy Division, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Strawberry Switchblade, Sonic Youth, Nirvana, the list went on. Steve says most he’s heard of, but never listened to. Some, he’s heard some of their singles on the radio.
“You’re into all that… punk stuff, right?” He’s a little lost, but he’s headed in the right direction. Frankie doesn’t tease him for it, though. 
“To an embarrassing degree,” She smiles, crinkling her nose, and oh, god, Steve’s not expecting the way that sets off butterflies in his stomach. “And new wave, grunge, honestly some pop, too— oh! Dolly Parton! Just her, though, can’t get into any other country otherwise. I’m a mess when it comes to music interests.” She shrugs.
He shakes his head, shrugging his jacket off before unwinding his scarf; Frankie catches on immediately, pointing to the coat rack behind the counter.
“No… it suits you.”
“Is that an insult or a compliment?”
“O- oh, no, I meant that in a— it’s a— nice way, promise!” Frankie smirks as he stumbles over his words. “So… got any recommendations on what to start with?”
“Oh, don’t you worry, Steve. I’m gonna make you a mixtape later.” No pretentious undertone can be found in her words; Frankie’s just really excited to introduce someone to music they haven’t heard. “What do you listen to, then?”
Steve sits on the stool behind the counter while Frankie still hangs out on the countertop, kicking her legs over the side now. He watches as she continues sticker-bombing her cane; it’s got quite the variety of holographic stars sprinkled about.
“Uh…” He shrugs, tugging at the edges of his sleeves before shoving them in the pockets of his cardigan. “Whatever sounds good, I guess.”
Frankie narrows her eyes at him, “C’mon, you can do better than that.”
Steve nervously laughs as a hint of red creeps across his face.
“Okay, uh… Queen, Springsteen, some of Bowie’s stuff—“
“Some?”
“I just- I can’t get into it all!” He stammers out. Frankie dramatically sighs, throwing her head back with a hand over her forehead, pretending like she’ll faint. When she levels her gaze to him again, she gives a teasing smirk, and he carries on, red in the face. “I like U2’s last album… uh, shit. What’s it called?”
“Achtung Baby?” She’s so quick to answer in a nonchalant tone, like this is common knowledge.
“Yeah! That one.”
“Oh, you’d really get along with my dad, then,” She teases, watching Steve’s expression flatten in a playful annoyance. “That’s not a bad thing! Bring it up in your next appointment— actually, don’t. He’ll talk about it for hours.”
Steve laughs, pushing his glasses up his nose with his pointer finger, “Alright, I’ll try to remember that.”
“Might want to write a reminder with the brain fog,” She quips, and it easily earns a chuckle; if anyone else tried to joke about his symptoms, he’d be bothered. To laugh it off with someone else equally as sick as him, though, is weirdly… cathartic. “Sorry, I’m distracting you. Go on.”
“Okay, don’t make fun of me, but Blondie’s got some good stuff, too.”
“Yes!” Frankie throws her hands out excitedly. Steve admires how animated she can be.
“I like a lot of other stuff,” He’s becoming more comfortable talking about this, not as afraid of rejection. Frankie didn’t give that kind of attitude off, but he second guesses himself always these days. “But it’s just singles and stuff.”
“Gimme a list one of these days, I’ll give you some recs.” She looks up from her sticker work on her cane, warmly smiling, but it falters seconds later. “Not pushing that on you, but it might— you don’t— don’t be afraid to tell me no—“
“Frankie.” Her name comes out of Steve’s mouth like the night before, a combination of reassurance and teasing. “I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.”
Dusting over her cheeks is a tint of rosy pink as her smile returns, ever so slightly. “Okay, cool.” She plucks a star sticker off the page, leaning towards Steve to stick it on his forehead. Her touch makes Steve’s heartbeat quicken, but it’s over as soon as it began. “Congrats, Steve, you’re hired.”
Brows furrowing, he doesn’t bother to remove the sticker. “What? Seriously? That was the interview?”
Frankie nods enthusiastically. “You already seemed nice, and got a good review from your best friend—“
“Seriously, what did she tell you?”
She pretends to zip her lips shut and shrugs, holding back giggles. 
“I’ll get you all that boring ass paperwork later, but yeah, I’m serious.” She holds her cane out, rolling it in her hands to make sure the stars are placed the way she wants. Her tongue pokes out while she’s focused, and Steve thinks it’s the cutest thing in the world. Directing her attention back to him, she continues, “I don’t wanna work with someone I just tolerate.”
Though Steve’s flattered to find he’s more than just tolerable to her, he’s still skeptical; not of her, but how this friendship is growing so easily, so suddenly. “Frankie, we barely know each other.”
“I don’t know anyone else my age that’s disabled, and you just… you get it. I wish you didn’t, but you do. If you don’t wanna work here, no hard feelings, but I want to continue getting to know you.” Her words, her tone, even her facial expression, they’re all sincere. “If you’re up for having a new friend, that is.”
Steve nods embarrassingly fast, but he doesn’t care. “My friends get it to an extent, but I don’t have to explain shit to you, and it’s… well, I don’t want to say nice, ‘cause like you said, I wish you didn’t know what this was like, either. But it makes me feel a little less alone, I guess.” His fingers grip the edge of the stool between his legs, arms straight, as he looks away shyly. “And I- I’d like to make you feel a little less alone too— jesus, that makes me sound like a douche. You get what I mean, right?”
“I get you, Steve, don’t worry,” Frankie picks up her coffee, holding it out to Steve. It takes a few seconds, but he catches on, grabbing his own coffee to hold out to her. “To a sick friendship. Get it. Sick? ‘Cause we’re both—“
Steve knocks his cup against hers, smirking, “Yikes, I thought my humor was corny.”
“Fine, no more jokes at all, then.” She deadpans, but her expression immediately cracks, breaking into a laugh, one that scrunches her nose and crinkles the edges of her eyes. It’s contagious, pulling Steve into her fit of laughter, too. “Yeah, I got a good feeling about you, Steve.”
“Huh? Like what?”
“Oh, we’re not that far in the friendship, buddy.” She props her cane onto the floor, sliding off the counter. The proximity between her and Steve when she’s on her feet is a little too close for him to handle, breath hitching in his throat. “Gotta earn the sappy moments, man.”
With that, Frankie rounds the counter, heading towards an aisle of vinyl records. She turns back to him, “Well, you want a tour?”
Steve’s eyes widen as he scrambles off the chair, “Y- yeah, that’d be— I probably need to know where things are.” Frankie resists teasing him further, leading him around the shop.
The pair walk slowly as she points out the main sections, split into three— vinyl records, cassette tapes, and CDs. 
“I still can’t get behind ‘em. They’re too flimsy for my clumsy self.” Frankie’s lips curl in a snarl as she eyes up the racks of the shiny discs, tucked away in their jewel cases. 
“At least they’re not LaserDiscs,” Steve murmurs, cringing. “I hated those things.”
“Yeah, never was a fan myself,” Her brows crinkle. “They’re like frisbees.”
“But vinyl… isn’t?”
“No. And I’m not elaborating.”
“Francesca, you’re something else.”
She scoffs playfully, “Can’t believe you just called me that. You’re fired.”
“Mhm, sure.” He smirks before glancing around the shop; it’s on the smaller side, but jam-packed with nearly anything and everything music related. Beyond CDs, tapes, and records, are band shirts, Walkmans, headphones, record players, tape players and boomboxes, useless novelty items, and so on. “So, when’d you open the store?”
“Oh, I didn’t. It’s not mine, only running it for now… kinda took over when the owner had to take a sick leave.”  Frankie begins leading Steve towards the back, through a worn, beaded curtain. She points to an open door, “Stockroom,” Then, to the door across the hall. “Break room.”
Steve acknowledges her directions with a nod before asking, “Oh, are they okay? Well, wait. Shit. I guess not if they’re on— my bad.”
Frankie gives him a half-smile, more for the sake of reassurance, along with an answer, “Dementia. So, uh, yeah. Probably not coming back.” A pained expression washes over Steve’s features. “The own— Mr. Fisher wanted to close the shop when his health continued declining, so I told him I’d keep it going for him. This was before the diagnosis, he just knew something was wrong and warned me he’d most likely shut down.”
“That’s… fucked.” 
“Yeah. He actually lived a few floors up, now he’s in a senior living home.” She wanders into the break room, falling onto the worn couch hanging out in the heavily used space. Steve sits on the opposite side, not wanting to invade her personal space as he listens intently. “Cool dude, hired me years ago, and he was really into jazz when he was younger. Like, used to play the sax for a living. He knew nothing about punk music, but he loved asking me about it. I learned a lot about jazz from him, too.
“He was empathetic with my pain, too. The couch is back here ‘cause he felt bad I had nowhere to rest on break.   Then he ended up using it more than I did.” Frankie’s a little dazed as she retells the circumstances. “I knew he’d never get better, and he knew it too, but I told him I’d love to watch over the business until he’s ready to come back. Couldn’t stand watching this place close, so… yeah. S’why I asked you.”
“I’m sorry, Frankie.” It’s all Steve can come up with, but it’s genuine, and she can tell.
“I hope it doesn’t come off like I’m telling you this so you’re guilted into being here, ‘cause if you wanna find another job, don’t feel like you have to st—“
“You do that a lot,” Steve blurts out, but it’s not mean-spirited. He stammers, “N- not that— it’s not bad— sorry—-“
“And you do that a lot,” Frankie observes bluntly. “Guess we’re kinda similar in the whole ‘overly apologetic’ department, huh?”
Steve glances at her, sighing with a hint of a sad smile. “Guess we are.” He rests his head on the back of the couch, blowing air between pursed lips as his eyes fixate on the ceiling. “Anyway, you’re not guilting me. I’m staying.” Then he sits back up, narrowing his stare at her. “Unless I’m still fired.”
She sits up, shoving her hand out towards him. He grabs it as she shakes it obnoxiously, snorting, “Steve Harrington, you’re re-hired.”
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“Fibro’s just like… a bag of jellybeans.”
Steve scoffs out a laugh, lost on Frankie’s words. “I’m sorry, what?”
At the end of the day, Frankie and Steve wound up at a diner, still caught up in the excitement of getting to know a new friend.
“Y’know, it’s always a mystery over what color and flavor you end up with ‘til you get it.” Frankie begins to explain, hands on the diner’s table; Steve’s noticed she talks with her hands, a lot. She’s always so animated, even talking about the most mundane subjects. “And you might have ‘em all, but there might be more of one flavor, or another. Fibromyalgia is just a bag of symptoms, ‘cause you don’t know what’s gonna hurt that day ‘til it does— does that make sense?” 
“Oh, like, I get a lot of headaches, sometimes ocular migraines— the first few times, those freaked me out, and joint pain the most, but the other symptoms still exist, too, just not as frequently.” Steve scrunches his eyes shut with a nod, pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. “Right? Or maybe I’m way off—“
“No, that’s exactly it! 
“That’s actually… a really good analogy,” He tucks the comparison away in his mind, for future use. “Wait, so you also have fibromyalgia?”
Frankie’s about to answer, until the waitress brings their milkshakes and fries to the table. Her smile over something as simple as a milkshake is contagious, and Steve finds himself grinning along with her.
“Yeah, but we found out lupus was a bigger concern,” She shares casually. “Y’know, I wouldn’t wish fibro on anyone, but I’m pissed you have to deal with it.”
Steve’s face distorts into confusion. “Why d’ya say that?”
“It’s such a fucking mess of a disability. Tests come back normal, x-rays show nothing, MRIs are clear, too— shit is so infuriating. You’re living in constant pain and most people don’t believe you. Then ya’ got these fuckin’ misogynistic doctors who see it as a “woman’s disease”— yeah, it’s more prevalent in women, but men get it too, and it’s like y’all are told to just… suck it up. “Man up”. Deal with it.
“Honestly… not sure which sucks to be told more, that you’re just “hysterical and attention seeking” for being sick as a woman, or being told you’re just a “whiny baby” if you’re sick as a man.”
Steve only stares at her; Frankie feels warm under his gaze, sinking into the booth.
“Sorry, I— you’re so spot on, I have nothing to add.” Steve’s shaking his head, fidgeting with his napkin. “But I can’t get over that someone my age fucking gets it.”
Frankie sighs, relieved to hear she wasn’t overdoing it with her rambling.
“Steve, I hate that we’re both in pain, but it’s… it’s nice not having to struggle alone, for once.” She stretches her legs under the booth, resting her boots on the cushion on Steve’s side. He mirrors her, sneakers kicking up to  rest next to her. She smiles, nudging his shoe with her elbow. “Copycat.”
“You really lucked out having a dad who’s a doctor,” Steve softly chuckles, and Frankie smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. Immediately, he panics he might’ve said the wrong thing. “I- I don’t mean that in a bad way—“
“No, I know you didn’t. He—” Frankie looks off, eyes fixating on the bustling traffic out the window, despite the two of them being seated in the far end of the diner. She looks back to her milkshake, swirling the straw mindlessly. “He wasn’t always a doctor. He wasn’t in the medical field at all, not ‘til I got sick as a kid.”
“Wait, really?”
“Yup. He got tired of taking me to specialists for them to always say I was being overdramatic, or “Oh, she’s a girl, she might just be faking that for attention.” I guess what I was going through made him realize shit had to change for the sake of us sick folks. I don’t know how anyone would be able to juggle a full time job, full time med school, and raising a kid on their own, but he did it. Even if shit is terrible most of the time, I’m grateful to have a dad as incredible as him.”
Steve let Frankie’s words sink in before curiosity took its hold, “He’s a single parent?”
Frankie sips from her milkshake, looking back at Steve as she sits back. “Wasn’t always, but yeah. Never met my mom, she, uh, she was sick, too. Cancer. Passed before my first birthday.”
“Jesus, Frankie… I’m so sorry.”
She shrugs, trying to let the everlasting sting roll off her back. “I heard she was really sweet, and funny. My dad showed me some home movies a few years back, and it was the first time I heard her voice. She was so pretty, and happy, and—“ She shakes her head, scoffing at herself. “God, I’m sorry for rambling.”
“You don’t have anything to apologize for. If you ever wanna talk about this… or anything, I might not know what to say, but I’ll always listen.”
“Right back at ya’, Steve,” She murmurs, gaze friendly before sipping her milkshake.
“I don’t think you want to know my story,” He tries shrugging it off, as if a chuckle would follow, but never does.
“I do, and I mean that.” She firmly states, locking eyes with him. “But only when you’re comfortable sharing it.”
Steve nods, “Yeah. Maybe someday. Kinda hard to even talk to my therapist still about it.”
“You’ll get there eventually. On your own terms.” Frankie can tell he’s uncomfortable, searching for a change of subject. She looks back at his legs, still next to her in the booth. “Isn’t your leg cold?” She nods to the hole in his jeans, right above his knee.
“Yeah, but I needed to wear my knee brace today.”
“I can sew loose, stretchy fabric in, and snaps to remove it, if that helps,” She slurps down the last of the milkshake. “You cool with hanging out longer?”
Steve can’t suppress the grin that graces his face.
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Frankie’s apartment is in a repurposed warehouse; a large studio, cluttered with art supplies scattered all about. An easel hangs out in the wide open room near a window, with canvasses, both finished and unfinished everywhere surrounding it. Cups and cups of paintbrushes, tubes of paint, pastels, graphite pencils and drawing pads strewn atop nearly every surface. A sewing machine rested snug in a corner of the open room. 
Among it all was the kitchen and living room; down a hallway were the doors to the bathroom, and her bedroom. 
After Steve changes into the sweats Frankie found for him, he enters the main room, holding the sweatpants up by the waistband awkwardly, handing his pair of jeans over to her.
“Sorry, I knew they’d be kinda big, but not that much.” She has jersey knit fabric already cut, sewing snaps to the edges. As she works, she elaborates, “I keep a buncha sizes in clothes, ‘cause my weight fluctuates all the time with flare ups.”
“That’s actually… really smart.”
“Yeah, I got tired of buying and donating the same several sizes over and over. Just easier, and cheaper, to keep ‘em all on hand.” Frankie’s zoned into the impromptu project, so Steve wanders around her apartment, stopping at the kitchen table, blanketed with multiple sketches. 
“I didn’t know you could draw.” He wonders aloud, glancing over the sketch pad papers. There’s a certain style he can’t quite put his finger on with her work; for plain subjects and ideas, they’re incredible.
 Steve turns to the easel with her latest work in progress. It’s a portrait of a woman weeping, holding a mask of her face that’s smiling over her real expression. It’s gorgeous work, but he feels a pang in his chest, wondering if Frankie feels this way more often than not.
“Holy shit, Frankie…” He breathes, recognizing his own struggles through the piece; how often he feels as if he needs to bury his own pain to keep everyone else comfortable. Then again, who hasn’t felt at one point or another they need to cover up how they truly feel?
“I hope that’s a good “holy shit”,” She responds as she continues sewing.
“Your work is amazing,” He’s still staring at the painting, admiring how her art style is slightly unkempt, and leans toward traditional tattoo-style art, but she makes it work somehow; some of the paint bleeds outside the lines, or speckles in random splotches, like watercolors, but it adds character. “Do you just paint as a hobby?”
“I actually had plans to become a tattoo artist, did an apprenticeship and everything,” She murmurs, loud enough for him to hear, but still weighed down with disappointment. She pulls the denim away from the sewing machine, trimming away the loose threads. “Can’t really tattoo when you’ve got unpredictable hand tremors, though. S’why the paintings are such a wreck.”
Oh.
“Shit. That’s…” Again, Steve can’t find proper words of empathy. “I’m sorry.”
Frankie finally glances over her shoulder at him, “Kinda normal for folks like us to leave behind our dreams. Mourn what our lives could’ve been, and what they used to be.”
The familiarity of surrender in her voice hits Steve hard. He might not have had the same dreams to give up to prioritize his health, but it’s still an experience similar to hers. Giving up any dreams or goals he had to accept they probably wouldn’t, couldn’t, come to life. He’s watched his life’s potential slip through his fingers, and has no way of stopping it from vanishing completely.
Mourning what your life was isn’t easy, either. Reminiscing on better health in earlier times of your existence, proof you’ll never be that happy, that healthy again— even if Steve was unhappy deep down in high school, he wishes he had the energy to still fake it.
“Yeah. Fucking sucks.” He mutters. At the same time, Frankie turns to him, holding his jeans out for him to take.
Steve glances over her handiwork, grateful to have soft fabric that’ll finally work with his knee brace, while being removable when it’s too warm out.
“On the bright side, at least you’ve got a friend who gets it now.” She’s speaking softly, with so much, too much, understanding. It helps to finally have a friend who can relate, but with that comes sharing the same emotional hardships, ones that feel endless. 
Still, it’s better than navigating that all on your own.
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
It’s been a handful of weeks— maybe about a month and change— since Steve’s life began to feel good again. He’s not sure how long exactly, he just knows since finding a doctor that sincerely cared for his patients, and befriending Frankie, someone his age he could finally relate to, he doesn’t care to keep track of time like a dismal countdown.
He’s not counting the days he feels like a prisoner in his own body anymore.
Timing, though, is always perfectly unfortunate when it comes to Steve’s luck, and life.
On a dull Wednesday night, he and Frankie are closing up the shop before their plans to meet up with Robin at the diner. Steve has had a muted ache in his head since the previous night, but it wasn’t enough to keep him in bed, thankfully. He took some Tylenol earlier in the day, and that helped with staving off most of the pain. Any relief he can find, he happily takes.
The sun isn’t setting as early anymore, a sign winter’s almost at its end; he’s been looking forward to spring, because this cold has done no favors to his aching joints. Until then, he’s still bundling up ridiculously to keep from violently shaking in the cold.
“Hey, Frankie?” He’s looking behind the counter, puzzled. His head feels heavy, thoughts settling in a thick fog. Pushing past it, he asks, “Have you seen my scarf?”
Frankie returns from the tiny stockroom, keys swinging lazily on her finger. “Is it the blue one?”
“No, it’s—“ Steve pauses, hands on the counter to hold himself up from a sudden bout of dizziness. He gives a weak laugh, “I can’t even remember if I wore one at all. Maybe I didn’t.”
Frankie’s quick to notice something’s not right when Steve practically white knuckles the edge of the counter; her firsthand experience with chronic illness is setting off alarms in her head.
“Steve, you should sit down—“ She rushes around to him, pushing the stool towards him. Grabbing his shoulders, she pushes him gently into the chair. “What’s going on?” 
“S’blurry,” Is all he mutters to her. She lifts a hand to his forehead, and he shivers, speaking up a bit more, “You’re always cold.”
She keeps her panic to herself, and rolls her eyes with a tiny smile, pulling her hand away to reach into her bag on the floor; straightening back up with a heavily sticker-bombed water bottle, she hands it to him.
“When’d you last eat?”
Steve shrugs, weakly sipping out of the bottle. “Uh, a few hours ago, I think.” He’s struggling to stay in conversation as the vision in his one eye blurs. “Frankie, I can’t see shit out of this eye.” He points to the right side of his face, hand nearly limp.
“Does your head hurt?”
“Been hurting all day, actually,” He waves his hand in front of his own face, repeating, “Yeah I- I can’t see a damn thing out of this eye.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Wasn’t a big deal ‘til now— shit—“ Steve clutches his head; everything’s too overwhelming. The lights are too bright, the buzz of electricity is too loud, and he feels nauseous. The dizziness is only growing stronger, too. Curling into himself, he doubles over, head in his hands as he leans towards his legs. “God, I hate this.”
Frankie rushes to the light switch across the room, turning off all the lights inside; the only light available is what wanders in from the city outside through the windows. 
There was one crucial detail Steve left out when he confided in Frankie about his ocular migraines: the pain is so intense, it works in tandem with his anxiety, triggering flashbacks of those miserable last few years in Hawkins.
They roll through so quickly in his mind; the first time he fought off a demogorgon with Nancy and Jonathan.  When Steve became a personal punching bag for Billy nearly one year later, the same night he had been roped into fighting off demodogs with the kids, nearly dying multiple times before the sun rose again. The fucked up elevator in Starcourt that plummeted to an artificial hell that also nearly killed him and his friends. He could picture the fists flying at him, his honest answers for the countless times he was asked “who do you work for?” never enough for his captors. 
“Stop, stop, stop—“
Frankie hears Steve whimpering while his flashbacks drag him deeper into the past.
Because who can just forget nearly dying far too many times with your friends before turning twenty? Why forget it when the past just continues to help you survive even further carnage?
His lungs burn while he recalls swimming down to the bottom of the lake, in search of the gate, only to be pulled back down after resurfacing to his friends. It’s not easy to erase the way he fought for his life once dragged into the Upside Down, especially not when the scars refuse to fade, continuing to keep the nightmare alive. Even if his scars blended into his worn, tired skin now, the proof lies in each and every person in the group. Hell, the proof is in anyone from Hawkins.
“Steve—“ Frankie’s voice breaks through to him, only for a moment, too quick to pull him out of this traumatic loop of memories. 
Vecna. Stumbling upon Eddie, nearly dead, in Dustin’s arms. The “earthquake”. Max deep in a coma in the hospital. Watching the Upside Down bleed into reality on this plane of existence. The ultimate downfall of what was once his hometown— once a haven of memories, good and bad, ones that taught him life lessons, ones that he still reminisces on to this day. Leaving behind everything he loved in that shitty little town. Goodbyes with everyone as they all split their separate ways, with hopes and dreams of making the most of a new life somewhere safe.
Hawkins, Indiana was wiped off the map. Wiped from existence to keep the rest of the world safe.
Hawkins was only a memory, now.
Hawkins was gone. 
“Hi, y- yeah, we need an ambulance, my friend, h- he—“
Everyone made it out alive, but what was the point when everyone was hurting badly, one way or another?
What’s the point in surviving if you continue to live in your own personal hell? He thinks, barely making out Frankie reciting the address for the record store. He blindly reaches out for her, still folded over in agony.
Instead of finding her, he finds himself slipping off the chair, hitting the cold, hard floor before abruptly losing his grip on reality. 
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
The first thing Steve sees when his eyes weakly flutter open is Frankie. Everything is blurry, but not like before; his vision slowly comes into focus, while the edges of tunnel vision have faded away. A dim, frail smile appears on his face at her sleeping figure, curled up next to him.
Pressure in his head spreads, like there’s an ache about to begin, but it never does, held at bay. That’s when he notices the IV in his arm, prying his eyes open a little more, baffled and trying to sift through the brain fog.
Frankie stirs, eyes squinting open, but once she sees Steve’s awake, her eyes widen; she sits up too quickly, stumbling out of the chair she folded herself into, catching herself at the last minute.
“Steve—“
“Hi Frankie,” He smiles, dopey and sleepy, like he just woke up from a nap, and not a medical scare. She grabs his hand, and he blushes. Looking down at their hands clasped together, a dazed look covers his features. “Your hand’s not very cold. You okay?”
A laugh slips out of Frankie, “I think all the panic made me overheated.” Her bottom lip wobbles, despite Steve’s lips still curved up lazily, “You’re the one in the hospital bed, I should be asking you that.”
“M’fine, I feel great, actually.”
“That would be the drugs doing their job, buddy.” She’s surprised to hear herself giggle, but it rises a weak yet genuine laugh out of Steve. Her thumb softly swipes back and forth on his hand, still in hers. “You scared the hell outta me, Steve.”
His face drops, beginning to realize the severity of the situation, despite gaps of memory to recall on. “I… don’t remember anything.”
“Do you want me to tell you?”
He wordlessly nods.
“Your head hurt all day, but you didn’t tell me until a migraine started,” Frankie sighs, gently pushing his sweat-matted hair away from his eyes. “I think it was an ocular migraine, ‘cause you told me you couldn’t— well, in your exact words, you said “Frankie, I can’t see shit out of this eye”, and then it— you—”
It all floods back to Steve in a flash— his headache that rolled into a sudden, ocular migraine, making him dizzy and weak. How his right eye went blind, then everything hurt, sent him into a panic, and triggered the flashbacks.
“You fell, too, but thankfully you landed on my bag instead of the floor.” She reaches down to his forehead, just above his brow, gently sweeping a thumb across his skin. “There’s a small bruise, but could’ve been worse.”
That, he ignores. Instead, Steve’s heart drops at the thought of what Frankie might’ve heard or seen. Before he can ask, she gathers the courage to tell him.
“You we’re crying, saying ‘I wanna go home’ a- and ‘stop, stop, stop,’” Her fingers grip his hand, shaking. He squeezes back, sobering up fast from the pain medication. “You kept calling out names, calling for Robin, and I- I don’t know who else, but you sounded so hurt, Steve.”
Steve doesn’t even realize he’s crying until Frankie whispers, “oh” and grabs a handful of tissues from the side table, handing them over to him.
“I— goddammit. I’m so sorry, Frankie.” 
“It’s okay—“
He shakes his head, eyes falling shut; he can’t look at her right now, he feels nothing but shame. 
“It’s not. It never will be. I wasn’t trying to hide anything or lie, but I- I- I—“ In the midst of his panic, he remembers the plans they had with Robin.  His bloodshot eyes lock with Frankie’s teary ones. “Shit, does Robin know—“
“She’s on her way. Thankfully she stopped by instead of meeting us at the diner, right when the ambulance came. I asked if Robin wanted to go with you, but she asked if I could instead; she wanted to grab your meds and a few other things.” Frankie reassures him, but Steve can’t shake the guilt, can’t escape the embarrassment. “Robin’s really a great best friend.”
Steve rubs his eyes, nodding as his voice wavers, “Best friend I ever had. I- I’d be dead without her.”
“Give yourself some credit, man.” A familiar voice floats into the room; Frankie and Steve both look across the hospital room to find Robin, along with Eddie and Dustin trailing in behind her.
“It’s definitely that charming stubbornness to survive y’got going on,” Robin teases lightheartedly.
Frankie looks back at Steve, finding his face about to light up, but he just falls apart again. She releases his hand so Robin can hug him. Steve shakes in her grasp, while Robin murmurs “you’re okay, you’re safe”, soft enough for only Steve to hear; Frankie’s still able to catch it, though.
“Wh— what are you two doing here?”
“You picked the best time to go to the ER,” Dustin grins, trying to point out the bright side. “We were gonna surprise you at the diner, but now we get to surprise you here!” Steve’s smile wavers; he wants to be happy to see his friends again, but the sudden visit and multiple voices, louder than Frankie, makes him wince, too.
Still, he finds himself asking, “Dustin, why are you excited about that?” 
“‘Cause, hospitals suck. Unless Eddie and I are in ‘em.” Dustin looks over at Frankie with a questioning, yet friendly look. “Who— oh. Are you Frankie?”
Her cheeks turn rosy while Steve groans, head falling back on the pillow.
Trying to redirect, Eddie teases, “The kid tells no lies, we’re the best free entertainment a hospital can get.” He’s shooting Steve a knowing look that earns a short-lived laugh out of him. 
Now Steve knows how Max felt when she woke from her coma, when Eddie was finally stable enough to leave his room next to hers. How him and Dustin did everything they could, said whatever they could say, to crack a smile on her face.
 It’s the thought that counts, he thinks, grateful to have friends who care. Steve always felt like everyone would forget him when they all left Hawkins behind. After all, he was usually the one looking out for everyone else. Putting them first. Making sure everyone was safe and sound before himself.
How relieved he was to be wrong, for once.
“How you holding up?” Dustin asks,
“Uh… I…”
All of this is overwhelming; Steve’s still trying to process what happened, was in the middle of Frankie retelling details, and now he’s on an emotional rollercoaster from a surprise visit from two friends he hadn’t seen in god knows how long.
On top of all of that, his head is one loud, startling noise or bright light away from kicking off another migraine.
Robin can tell he’s a step away from falling apart, so she jumps in to give him some breathing room. “I think… we should get snacks from the vending machine. Do either of you want anything?” Frankie shakes her head, and Steve only shrugs without an answer. “We’ll be back, ‘kay?” She backs up, gently pushing the two curly heads out of the room despite their protests; the room falls silent once again.
Steve sighs loudly, eyes shutting as he relaxes into the bed. “I love them, but I— it’s just—“
“Bad timing, I get it. There’s nothing wrong with asking for space.” Frankie assures him, then adds, “I should’ve asked too, do you need me to leave?”
“Don’t,” Steve’s cursing himself inwardly for answering so quickly. “Un- unless you wanna leave—“
“I wanna stay,” She answers at an embarrassing speed, making Steve smile. “I— I can stay overnight, if you want. But don’t feel obligated to say yes.”
“They’ll let you do that?”
“Usually, no, but I know the nurse on shift tonight, and she’s incredibly sweet. Told me already I can stay if I need to.” Frankie smirks. “One, tiny upside of being a hospital regular. Honestly, everyone’s nice here, at least who I’ve met.” She stops herself from rambling, glancing at Steve with concern. “You need anything right now?”
Steve murmurs, “No, just cold,” and releases her hand to pull the covers over himself, shivering. As he does, Frankie catches the scar around his neck while the flimsy hospital gown shifts along with him, exposing a sliver more of him than she’s seen. 
He notices her stare, hand flying to his neck in a pathetic attempt to cover it; he’s quick to stammer out an excuse, “Oh that’s, uh, from— it’s actually a long story, but it’s not— it’s—“
Frankie shakes her head, reaching for Steve’s hand to squeeze softly. “You don’t have to tell me anything, not unless you’re ready and want to. Whatever your story is, Steve, it’s for you to tell on your own terms.”
Again, she watches him relax from a tensed state. 
“Thank you, ‘Key.”
She smirks, “Y’know, I only let people I’m close to call me that.”
“Oh- oh, shit, I’m—“ He sits up, about to stammer out an apology, but her free hand gently stops him before pushing him back down slowly. 
“That includes you.”
“Really?”
“Just one condition.”
“What is it?”
“You tell me if you’re in pain. I know that’s nearly all the time, but if you can’t come in, or can’t hang out, you tell me. Hell, if you need, you can call me if you’re home alone and just need to talk about it.” She softly demands and suggests. Steve nods; it’s only fair, especially after tonight’s scare. “Or even if you still come to work or want to keep plans, don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. I’d rather you take care of yourself than push your body past its limits.”
Steve’s mind races around for the right words to return to her, but all he can respond with is a sincere, “Thank you, Frankie.” Then he adds quickly, “All of what you just said, that applies to you too. Got it?” He tries coming off stern, playfully, of course; instead, his lips crack into a smile, but the sentiment is still true.
“Got it, Stevie,” She tries winking, but it looks more like a twitch, and the two burst into giggles. “You make it look so easy whenever you wink!”
Steve just shoots her a smooth, quick wink. In return, he gets her playful eye roll. He finds comfort and safety in the harmless teasing between one another.
Things might’ve gone to hell tonight, but at least Steve didn’t go through it alone.
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
When everyone returned to the hospital room, they made sure to keep their tones quiet, soft, and Steve felt some guilt over that, but he reminded himself too that he’s lucky to have friends who accommodate his needs.
He catches Robin, Dustin, and Eddie up to speed, leaving out the gory, telling details of his flashbacks; Robin must’ve warned Dustin and Eddie to not speak about the Upside Down, for Frankie’s sake. And really, for Steve’s sake, too. After his mind ran through every event, every memory, down to the very last detail, he was exhausted. The last thing he wanted to think or talk about was Hawkins, and all the horrors it once contained.
And once proper introductions were made, Steve admired the way Dustin and Eddie automatically included Frankie into every part of the conversation, making sure she felt welcomed among them, too. 
Steve needed this. He needed the distraction, needed the laughter, the inside jokes, with stories explained to Frankie to keep her in the loop. The longer the visit went on, though, the more Steve realized at some point, he’d have to explain everything to Frankie. She told him to take his time, that he wouldn’t ever need to talk about it if he wasn’t ready, but he’d rather get it out in the open sooner rather than later. 
This friendship was something Steve never had with anyone else before, and he was quickly growing attached to the dynamic. He never expected to grow attached to Frankie so fast, either. Or at all.
Visiting hours end, with Dustin hugging Steve a little too tight, apologetic as he loosens his arms when Steve grumbles in pain. Dustin narrows his eyes at Steve, repeating a sentiment from the time they were stuck in the elevator in Starcourt. “If you die, I die. So don’t die.”
“Oh, we changed that one up a bit? Alright,” Robin snorts, and Dustin flips her off.
Meanwhile, Steve only shrugs. “Okay.”
“Some things never change,” Robin mutters, shaking her head.
The older two out of the trio say their goodbyes, too, with Eddie reminding in a sing-song voice, “Gonna bother you again tomorrow, Big Boy.”
“Please, for the love of—“ Steve sighs, sinking under the covers, embarrassed. “Stop calling me that.” Frankie’s lost, but still giggling over the exchanges; he points at her, “No, don’t— do not encourage his nonsense”
“Respectfully, no, I’ll never stop.” He grins while Robin shoves him out of the room. As he’s nearly out the door, he waves and shouts, “Nice meeting you, Frankie!”
Alone, yet again, Frankie bites her lip to contain her laughter, and Steve narrows a glare at her. “Oh, I can already tell you’re gonna be trouble with them.”
“Listen, it’s not my fault your friends are funny and charming.”
“They’re anything but—“
“Oh, I’m telling ‘em tomorrow you said that.”
“Where’s your proof, Amato?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know, Harrington.” She sticks her tongue out at him.
Laughing, his brows knit together, “I would!”
He tries to conjure a better comeback to throw her way, but his thoughts fizzle out while watching her set up the chairs into a makeshift bed.
“Frankie.”
She spins around, watching Steve lean up on his elbow. “Huh?”
“You’re not sleeping on those chairs. That’s gonna kill your neck. And your back.” Steve deadpans, pulling his glasses off to set them on the nightstand. “And every other joint in your body.”
Frankie snorts, holding her arms out, “Then where am I sleeping, Steve?”
“Up here,” He’s even surprised by his own boldness, but carries through. “With me.”
If one could hold someone’s gaze in a death grip, Frankie would be doing that right now with Steve’s stare; disbelief and skepticism floods through her thoughts.
“Unless that’s too— if you’re not comfortable—“
“Steve,” Frankie pushes past the way her round cheeks flush red, “We gotta stop second guessing ourselves like this.”
“Yeah, but I just don’t want to assume—“
“When you’re close with someone, assumptions are kind of a given. When someone gets you, it’s not offensive.” She holds the extra pillow a nurse gave her earlier to her chest. “I’m okay with it, if you are. And I’m going to assume you are, because you asked—“
“Demanded—“
Her mouth falls open at his bluntness, “Okay, Big Boy, slow down—“
“Francesca,” He groans, falling back onto the pillows, “please do not call me that.”
She laughs softly, tugging the edges of Steve’s lips into a soft smile; he’s a goner. He knows he is. He’s known for awhile now, but her laugh, her smile, solidifies it. 
“Okay, Steven.”
Waving his arm out towards the uncomfortable hospital bed, he sasses, “Will you shut the hell up and get up here?”
“Didn’t know you were so bossy in bed, Steve,” Frankie waggles her brows at Steve, and while he tries rolling his eyes, his face falls back into a deep shade of red she’s been so easily able to pull out of him these days.
“Christ, Amato, do you ever sh—“
“Shut it, man. I’m moving as fast as a cripple can,” She teases, rounding the bed to climb into the empty side. Kicking her boots off, she swings her legs into the bed. There’s just enough room for her, but only if she presses against Steve by just a touch. “If this is too close—“
“It’s not—“
“Okay, well—“
“‘Key?” Steve’s voice wavers, soft and unsure of himself, despite the habitual teasing. “Can you— shit, this is stupid—“
“Whatever it is, it’s not stupid.” She reassures blindly. “Ask me.”
Steve takes a deep breath, nerves seeping through the overly confident demeanor the drugs gave him. “Can you… can—“ He sighs, frustrated with himself, before blurting out, “Can you hold me?”
Frankie doesn’t answer, not verbally; already on her side, she winds her arms around Steve’s torso, hugging him lightly from behind.
“This okay? You’re comfortable?”
He just nods definitively.
“Steve… your gown is open.”
He panics, shooting up and throwing a hand behind himself to try closing the opening, until he feels Frankie shake against him with laughter.
“You’re such a— quit laughing!” Steve laughs as he tries demanding this of Frankie. 
“M’sorry, it was just— the opportunity was there, I had to take it.”
He sighs, suppressing his grin, his chuckles, laying back down. “You’re gonna give me a heart attack.”
“Best place to have one though, no?” Frankie settles down, snuggling closer to him; her position is certain, yet leaves room for Steve to distance himself if he wants. 
He doesn’t answer with words, just tugs her arms closer around his body, her hands to his chest.
“Hey, Frankie?”
“Mhm?”
“Thank you. I know those migraines aren’t exactly life threatening, but…” He trails off, closing his eyes before admitting the truth, “They make it so… so hard to want to be alive. I’m grateful for your help. I’m sorry you had to witness that, but I— you—“ Oh, fuck it. “I didn’t expect to become so attached to our friendship, to you. But… I’m one lucky, unlucky son of a bitch to have someone in my life like you.”
Frankie feels her tears well her eyes; her and Steve are both so easily emotional— it comes with the territory of being sick on a regular basis. Who wouldn’t be? Realistically, how can you expect someone in the depths of internal and external pain to navigate this life with ease?
Neither of them are cured from the security of this friendship, but it’s reassuring to both that neither are alone in this fight against the bodies they pilot, day in, day out. No definite future for either separately, but at least they can navigate it together. 
Frankie’s almost sure Steve’s asleep, so she speaks up to make sure.
“Steve?”
“Yeah?”
She sighs, pushing her sentiment into words, solidifying the security of their friendship, at the very least.
“Whatever hell you lived through,” Her voice wavers while on the precipice of sleep, barely heard under the heart monitor’s routine beeps. “I’m glad you survived.”
He’s half asleep, heart monitor rolling to a steady crawl “M’glad I survived, too.”
34 notes · View notes
tinky-dinky · 3 days
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But it was fuckin crazy that he took all of the pictures of Jason down like taking a step back the writers literally wanted to erase Jason from existence so they wouldn’t have to draw or write about him. And then when Tim came in it was like. Tim is Bruce, even more than dick is bruce with the orphaning and the vengance. Like everything about Tim’s basic backstory is supposed to mirror bruce. Rich kid, parents aren’t around because they don’t care to be VS Thomas and Martha’s adoration, brisk and rude Irish maid instead of polite and caring British butler. I guess when I get mad at the writers for their bullshit I also get mad at BRUCE for being the vehicle for their bullshit, in a way I don’t with other characters. When dick is a dick I’m like I’m so sorry the author would make you say that verses when Bruce is like, shitting on Jason’s character at Jason’s grave I’m like fuck you old man
….I don’t even know what you’re talking about.
I do think it’s ridiculous to be mad he took down Jason’s pictures. He’s grieving, and probably didn’t want the constant reminders of his dead son. I get it. My nan refused to have pictures of my grandfather out for years after his death, because seeing his face reminded her he was dead and made her cry.
I don’t get what you’re talking about with Tim. You’re mad because his backstory is similar to Bruce’s? How is that at all Bruce’s fault?
I think it’s patently ridiculous to blame the writers when one character is a dick but fully blame another character when they’re a dick. But that’s not relevant to my point, which is that Bruce gets treated like a bad person over every single thing he does after Jason died, and most of it is bullshit.
Honestly, I think Bruce gets treated like a bad person over things he’s not actually in the wrong for a lot, both prior to Jason’s death and after it. This fandom often acts like the batkids are in no way responsible for any of the arguments they have with Bruce or their own dickish behaviour towards him.
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chevelleneech · 3 days
Text
All the Twitter drama between BuckTommy and Buddies shippers today is exactly as I said it was. Over confident fans vs scared fans, only now it’s been fueled by a video in which a likable actor is being paid by both the network and fans to say he supports his character and the relationship his character is in.
I can’t even fault Lou, because he’s a working actor (I don’t know his income despite who his father is), so I don’t think he’s automatically in the wrong for being paid to tell his fans/shippers what they want to hear. The problem is BuckTommy shippers taking what is a specifically paid viewpoint and using it as ship war fuel. Oliver is pro Buddie and people use that to their advantage, but Oliver has been vocal about being okay with Buck and Eddie dating for years and he doesn’t get paid by fans to say so. At the same time though, there also never been another ship with his character and a man for him to discuss outside of Buddie.
Which is why I’m not understanding the pedestal BuckTommy fans have put Lou on, nor why they’re ignoring the fact that Oliver hasn’t exactly said he’s in favor of BuckTommy lasting the remainder of the series. He’s been very open ended about it, which is fine, and I don’t think he’d be disappointed if that is what happens. But he also did just post about Buddie, and his interviews lately have continued to be about him saying he’s open to Buddie if it happens, as opposed to him saying something to focus on BuckTommy or how he hopes they will flesh out that relationship for a while.
Which again, I would imagine he does think. I genuinely believe Oliver cares about Buck’s journey as a bisexual man and wants to see that play out in the best way possible, but it does currently seem like he’s more inclined to Buddie than BuckTommy. Which is not a good or bad thing for either side. It’s an objective observation.
So I guess my reason for writing this post, is just… why are BuckTommy fans putting more weight on how a guest star whose entire storyline will likely only ever focus on his sexuality and relationship with a man, than a lead actor who wants his character to explore his sexuality and is very vocal about being open to that exploration being with someone other than Tommy?
Because as soon as Buck and Tommy kissed, people began pushing Eddie and everything he means to Buck to the side. And now, the more we get to know Lou and the more he interacts with fans, the more those same shippers are pushing Oliver and everything he says and has said about Buddie, to the side. So it’s as if it’s not enough for BuckTommy to simply be canon. Because they are and at the end of the day, that trumps any other ship Buck could have in the future. Right now he’s with Tommy, period, but that’s not enough, I guess?
Y’all seem to want BuckTommy and confirmation that Buddie will never happen, but why? Buddie is a ship idea that has existed since season two. It is a ship that not only the fans like, but that the actors and show runner enjoy. It is a ship that if the opportunity presents itself, all the people who can make it happen, plan to make happen. That doesn’t mean it has to become canon, but paying an actor portraying a character of half the ship you prefer to say positive things about the ship, is not a gotcha.
Lou is being paid on and off screen to support Tommy, so why wouldn’t he do that? It is also good promo for the characters and the show, and there is no reason for him to not ship BuckTommy, seeing as their relationship is currently doing well. And I know fandom is going to fandom, but there is literally no reason for BuckTommys to be combative. The ship is canon, that’s a fact. Yes, it’s also a fact that Tommy was shitty in his past and that there is no solid foundation for him and Buck as a couple, but that can change come s8.
There is nothing but sunny skies in the BuckTommy forecast, so why are y’all searching for storm clouds? Buddie shippers are being insecure and crappy, but BuckTommy shippers aren’t innocent. Y’all are literally paying Lou to give you gas for the fire, then acting as if Buddie shippers are being rude for no reason. Let’s dial it back and remember this is a tv show, and Buck may not end up with neither Eddie nor Tommy.
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laniemae · 3 months
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I am going to take a break from milgramblr
[important please read]
ok now how do I start. Im going to take a break from tumblr for about a week. Things have been absolutely awful for me here since the very beginning of 2024, even if it may not look that way at times.
to retell the situation it happened with the new years gartic phone game, where someone made a prompt about a ship that made me heavily uncomfortable. To put it loosely it reminded me of an extremely bad experience with a fandom a few years ago when I called out a ship for being creepy and having a huge age gap but I was constantly dogpiled and harassed. It was probably the worst experience I’ve had on the internet and to this day I get really scared of people hating on me and I apologise for everything likely stemming back from the situation.
I tried to persist with the game but I got really upset and left. I expressed on my blog how uncomfortable I felt about the whole situation. Then this one person, who’s a prominent figure in the Milgramblr community, I won’t name them but I think you’ll know who, replied on my post saying that “it’s ok because…” in such an awful tone. It’s hard to explain but basically it felt really bad as they completely dismissed my feelings about the situation just to justify their creepy ship. And even worse, they way they responded was EXACTLY the same way that everyone else responded back in to at old fandom. At the point to I’d much prefer hate and harassment over that false positive attitude.
I freaked out and immediately blocked them and basically went into a panic attack. I was freaking out on my blog and just to make things worse I saw a post praising them and things got so bad. It was the start of the new year and I was on holiday and was supposed to do a bunch of things but because of that situation I was bedridden and couldn’t stop crying. I had so many nightmares about everyone here turning on me and the original incident and I still have them.
the way the person reacted to my situation was absolutely awful. After my breakdown they immediately went to their blog and started posting about how the ships good and you should praise it completely disregarding everything that happened. I’ve always been uncomfortable with them but this pushed me over the edge. And later on I got in contact with someone who was (presumably) trying to help me and we decided to see if that person could make an apology. But they took way to long to even think they gave any attention to the situation and the apology itself didn’t feel that genuine.
This person was still posting about it and didn’t change their pfp and title despite how bad it was to me and they did not do anything at all. Again I’m not naming anyone but I highly recommend you do not support them anymore. I said I’m going to be leaving for a while but if you want clarification on who it is you can just ask, I’ll check my stuff tomorrow morning before I completely shut off for the week.
I don’t know who it was but there was even a throwaway account hating on me and saying awful things. I didn’t care that much as things had already gotten so bad for me that I didn’t care about the opinion of an anon. But like I said, the sickly positive response that person gave was way worse than actual hate.
and that’s only one part of the story. Another thing happened much more recently with the person I mentioned who was trying to help me. They were the first person I followed on Milgramblr and the person who inspired me to join and make all these theories, so with this and them helping me I really looked up to them. It was a few days ago I think but they posted something on their account about that person and wanting attention to them. I expressed my uncomfortable feelings about the situation and they didn’t do anything about it. Instead they decided to KEEP POSTING about it, like constantly and me getting more upset at the situation and how they responded made it clear that they didn’t care at all. I blocked them and we were mutuals for a while.
It’s been a month and I’m still suffering very badly. I’m not constantly crying as I was when it first happened but it still pains me. I’ve been feeling incredibly distressed on this sight knowing that the original person hasn’t done anything about it and they’re still very close. No matter how much I block them or blog tags I still see them in reblogs or bought up. I had to exclude anything relating to the earbuds collab from my milgram archives as it gives me back really bad memories to the pfps involved. I just can’t feel safe in this place anymore and especially that no matter how I feel, nothing has changed since when it happened and no one’s even actually trying to help me or change things.
I’ve just been feeling so bad that I’ve been going days without eating. Just because I can’t be bothered to get out of bed. The only solace for me is sleep but even that’s not good enough as I might have nightmares and I often feel much more tired afterwards. Things are changing for me as I actually have to get up and do something now and it’s surprisingly going kinda well, but that has nothing to do with this situation.
just to note I will be continuing my milgram archives series, I’ve scheduled quite a few posts for this week so they’ll keep going. For me I’ll completely cut off all activity for this week, and may return on Wednesday.
it’s just. I hate how nothings changed. I want something to happen but no one’s helping
#I don’t know how many people will see this#i don’t even know if people will care about this#perhaps I just come back and everything’s the fucking same#I’ve been considering leaving the fandom because of this and I guess this would be to see what’s it’s like#If it’s better to stay or to leave#I’ve blocked so many people from this situation it’s hard to believe#people I thought I could trust…#To say it once again#If you know the person I’m referring to please unfollow them and don’t support them#I can tell you if you ask for a while#And just seeing all the praise the fandom got with people saying the fandom is such a nice and wholesome space is sickening#It was right after what happened and it’s just awful seeing people say that like they don’t care about what happened#They even started a minecraft server which I wanted to join#But avoided like the plague when I realised it was the person who started the original prompt#There was also a thing that happened recently where someone drew all their mutuals as cats#I ended up seeing that person in one of the cats and knowing that they followed them I instantly unfollowed#The cat pfps just make me so uncomfortable as it constantly reminds of the situation#It sounds stupid because it is but I’m at the point where any little reminder can set me off#But it’s not as bad as the collab pfps which I just can’t look at anymore#Although it’s only with a few characters that really make me feel that the art style in general just gives bad memories#To what I said earlier I don’t know anything about the person the originally made the prompts stand on this#I don’t know if they’re purposely ignoring me I don’t know if they even have no idea this is happening but I’m worried#I’ve also had experiences with a bunch of people I used to follow blocking me#And I’ve talked about it here but no one pays attention
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nwodwols · 2 months
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I will literally never get over Mizumono. Literally ever. I know how the show ends, I’ve seen the last episode. I’m working my way through season three now. But the way the misunderstanding played out at the end of season two is as horrific as it is so beautifully executed. I am going to be ripping it apart frame by frame and trying to fit it together differently for them in my head forever
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opinionatedoctopus · 6 months
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Are you telling me that Ghosts (UK) only JUST ended?? Like two months ago?? But I only just found it. And there’s. No more :(((((
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museenkuss · 10 months
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Spn blogs in my recs and they WILL NOT LEAVE.
#they’re even on my main blog now#at least for me#and like yeah I get it blood and rot and family and whatever#I think I’m getting my period soon because it usually doesn’t annoy me like this but GOD#I don’t WANT these here.#but tbh I just don’t like the fandom. it’s all very clique-y and I am so so lonely#like genuinely I haven’t felt good about a single thing I posted for that in way too long#I like WRITING but posting?? in that fandom? it’s terrible. I hate it#& I’ve taken to writing out all my frustration and anger and grief in a separate doc to be deleted before posting the main work#which is fucking. just. it’s bad. I’ve never had to do that for ANY fandom I wrote for.#and I geeeeeet that it’s because it’s such a big fandom so people know each other and it’s not like my small communities where you#parallel play in peace. but I don’t like it. it’s deeply uncomfortable and isolating and I’m so sick of it#but I also like the writing I do so I try to just stay in my niche and not look at anyone else#I think I unfollowed every fandom blog save for two? three? so I could be alone instead of lonely#but it still washes over me whenever I post something.#oh an! sometimes I’m tempted to just do something super mass appealing so they’ll like me but that just makes me feel worse#I’ve been tempted to delete my blog so many times because I lost my friends from the old fandoms and this one is the poorest substitute#but I also feel like that won’t make me happier either. I wish I’d just never started engaging w that show tbh#okay done. just. I’m going through it
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legendoftherisingtide · 5 months
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is it some weird asian politeness instilled in me that i don’t like calling characters by their first name? like for western characters its fine but like when calling someone by their first name or a nickname is important, i cant bring myself to do it.
like girl you aren’t even real why am i so caught up on the fact that i dont know you personally so i shouldn’t be calling you a name you haven’t allowed me to call you.
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ivyloveheart · 6 months
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Yeah idk I guess I’m just gonna go back to just reblogging things idk. Not really too in the UTMV fandom anymore and I still can’t get many interactions.
#I still love Error and Fresh don’t get me wrong but like. that’s really all I care about now + I’m focused on other fandoms now#like Sparklecare and Pizza Tower#I tried the best I could here to get interactions#but people barely reblogged my art or sent asks/practiced reblog karma or anything#and not only that is kinda demotivating but the fact that the interactions basically came to a screeching halt bc one mutual had to leave#like. it was nice when I got interactions. but I’m kinda disappointed to see how they suddenly stopped because one person left it’s like. ok#and I don’t really know how or even if I can even bring them back. because I try to go out of my way to send asks n stuff#but like. I’ve rarely gotten it reciprocated#and it’s not always easy for me to answer asks because I’m slow at drawing#it’s also pretty disheartening to see how many meaningful interactions I’ve already gotten on Twitter when I haven’t even posted any of my a#art to Twitter yet but here I’ve been posting so much art and stuff and sending asks and everything but barely get anything.#in return.#like it’s just frustrating#why even bother with this anymore#like I’ll probably still occasionally post some of what I draw here but I think I might just switch to being mostly active on Twitter. which#is sad because I know how bad that place can get and I never wanted to move there in the first place#but art gets better traction and interactions there and people actually commission artists there#Ivy can speak
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lieutenant-amuel · 1 year
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So, I watched the episode Emotion from Miraculous Ladybug and Félix is just extremely confusing to me???
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vampryoteuthis · 9 months
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I hope they let me start hitting enstars fans with a bus I’m so done playing nice
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so I’ve doodled my HC designs of viktor/archemorus a couple times now and while I kinda wanna show them off, I’m also really really self-conscious about sharing the designs ;;
i think the main issue is like. there’s no one else out there making content for them so afaik I’d be the first one to put out drawn content and designs and that’s. super spooky!!
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thecreelhouse · 2 years
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idk being in fandom isn’t fun for me anymore :/
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Heya! Hope you’re doing well this holiday season (I saw you in my RBs and just wanted to say hello heheh)
hiiiiiiiiii SJSJSJ I am! I hope you are also doing well and it’s nice to formally meet u !! im sasha they/them :-) it’s cool we’re mutuals now ! and that you’ve noticed I rb everything I see on my strawberries acc and my main’s the grace one SJSJSJ I usually put like. stuff I particularly wanna save but I usually rb it on my strawberries one if u just wanna follow one and not have double posts lol
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rose-pearls · 4 months
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Ciao potresti fare Luke castellan x fem reader dove il lettore fa ingelosire Luke ? Grazie !
Hi! I loved this request so here it is! Hopefully you like it :))
I am also thinking of writing for Clarisse so if you have any request you can always send them!
Request: a Luke x reader where the reader makes Luke jealous
Main taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187, @nyx2021, @thestarspangledcaptain, @kmc1989 (open for every fandom)
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The Camp had been plain chaos in the last few days, the reason for that was capture the flag. The infamous game had taken place yesterday and the blue team had once again won, with Annabeth as your leader. The girl was smart, but you also had the best swordman on her team.
Luke Castellan. You had fallen for the boy the moment you met him, but he never seemed to reciprocate the feelings. He was handsome, everyone with eyes could see that but he was also kind and sweet. He had helped you a lot when you arrived, feeling lost until your mother, Athena claimed you. After being claimed the two of you still talked a little bit but not as much.
“Oh, Luke you are so funny.”, you hear Claire say as she starts to giggle and curling a whisp of hair around her finger. The boy soaks up the attention of course, smirking back at her.
“I can see you glaring at her, maybe try to be more subtle,” you hear Annie say, making you look at her and let out a groan.
“I know, I really am an idiot, right? To believe that something could happen with him,” the younger girl looks conflicted at your words, but you shake your head.
“There you two are, I have been looking for you everywhere,” Percy says as he drops on the seat next to Annabeth, making the two of you looking at him with wide eyes.
“We are literally at a table in the middle of the camp, how hard can it be to find us?”, Annie asks him, and you can’t help but laugh quietly as the two of them start to bicker again, they really were like an old married couple.
You hear the same annoying giggle once again and try not to smash your potatoes even harder, but the jealousy seems to be reaching a boiling point. It was stupid to feel like this, particularly when nothing had happened between you and the Hermes boy. The girl was also a daughter from Aphrodite, she was stunning.
The clearing of a throat makes you look up and you find Annie and Percy looking at you with equally worried gazes.
“What?”, you can’t help but ask, feeling self-conscious at the stares.
“I think that you just mashed these potatoes even more then I thought was possible,” Annie says, and you look at your previously mashed potatoes who were now looking a bit liquid.
“Remind me to never be on your bad side,” Percy says, and you shake your head in response, a sigh leaving your lips.
“Sorry, I just had something on my mind,” you tell them, hoping that the two of them would drop the subject but you were in front of Annie and Percy, so it wasn’t going to happen.
“Is that something, the blond Aphrodite daughter hanging off Luke’s arm?”, Percy asks, and Annabeth slaps him with a glare making him look at her with wide eyes.
“It is. Don’t get me wrong I’m sure she is a great girl but yes, it is them on my mind and her giggling every five seconds,” you tell them, making the two of them looking at you in sympathy. 
“Why don’t you make him jealous?”, Percy asks, and both Annabeth and you turn to look at the boy with wide eyes.
“Wait what?”, you can’t help but ask, waiting for some more explanation.
“It doesn’t seem like Luke is really interested in the conversation they are having, but every time he sees you turn around, he flashes her a dazzling smile. So, play his game and show him that you can also flirt with other people,” Annabeth looks unhappy with Percy’s answer, but you can’t help but think it through, maybe it would show you if he could possibly be interested or not.
“You’re right,” you say suddenly, cutting off the two.
“Wait what?”
“Really?”, Percy can’t help but ask before a proud smile appears on his lips, making Annie scoff.
“You can’t really be entertaining his stupid idea!”, you say but you shrug your shoulders.
“I need to know if he is interested or not, otherwise I’ll turn crazy. This way I know and if he isn’t I can move on,” you tell her calmly while she looks at you with wide eyes.
“I can’t believe you are doing this,” she says, and you roll your eyes at her words.
“We can’t all have a Percy looking at us with puppy dog eyes,” you tell her with a wink, while the boy seems to wake up from his gazing, a scarlet brush coating his cheeks.
“Now, the only thing I need to find is the person to make Luke jealous with,” Annabeth sighs but a playful smirk is playing on her lips.
“I know one person that will drive him mad,” this makes both Percy, and you turn to look at her.
“Who?”, Percy and you ask at the same time.
“Max, from the Apollo cabin. They arrived at the same time and there has always been some kind of rivalry between the two of them,” the whispers as the three of you are huddled together to prevent someone overhearing. 
“Wait, isn’t that the guy who nearly beat Luke with the sword?”, Percy asks, and you try to remember the last time there was a contest.
“Keyword, nearly,” Annabeth says, still Luke’s number one supporter.
“That is perfect!”, you say and the two of them look at you with suspicious eyes.
“What do you mean?”, Percy asks after a moment.
“I’m going to ask Max for some pointers on my sword fighting, that way I can get close to him for a reason, and it is also something that will get Luke’s attention.”
“He will go crazy seeing Max giving you some directions,” Annabeth says, looking unsure but there is a sparkle of mischief in her eyes.
“Alright team let’s get this quest on the road,” Percy says excitedly, and you can’t help but laugh.
“Now you are going to Max and the both of us will make sure that Luke is watching!”, Percy tells you as he starts pushing you off your seat.
“Good luck!”, Annie yells and you glare at her as a few campers look at you.
You try to nervously put your shirt right and your hair a bit better before telling yourself that this was ridiculous and just marching towards Max.
“Max, hi,” the boy turns to look at you, he looks surprised but then again you never really talked.
“Hi, what brings you here?”, he asks kindly, and you let out a nervous laugh.
“You are probably going to think that I am crazy, but I need some tips on sword fighting? I’m not really the best with the sword and capture the flag is in a few weeks.”, you tell him, feeling suddenly incredible stupid.
The boy seems unsure for a moment before a charming smile comes up.
“Of course, I’ll try to help you in the best way I can. Although I must say I’m surprised that you didn’t asked Luke for some pointers,” you knew he was going to ask this, after all you had never really interacted with him.
“Well, he is quite busy, you know knew kids coming in, the Hermes cabin and then Claire,” you say and Max nods in understanding.
“Lucky for you I have all afternoon,” he says, suddenly closer than he had been before, making you look up into his dazzling blue eyes.
“Here’s your sword,” he whispers, and you clear your throat before taking it.
“Thank you!”, you say, trying to keep your voice normal but it comes out a little squeaky.
--
“This is even better than a movie,” Percy says while Groover nods in agreement.
“Athena girl has enough of the Hermes boy flirting with other girls, so she goes and take a chance on an Apollo boy. Will the Hermes boy realize what he is losing, or will she end up with the Apollo boy?”, Groover whispers and Percy snorts at the words, while Annabeth shakes her head, a smile on her lips.
“Well looks like we won’t have to wait too long how that will end.”, she says as she sees Luke marching, or stomping, towards the two teenagers who had been talking. She had seen Luke looking at her half-sister for some time now but as Max put his hands on her waist to put her in position it seemed too much for Luke.
“And there goes the Hermes boy!”, Percy whispers, the three of them looking with avid attention.
“What in the Gods name are you three watching like a television show? And is that popcorn?”, Clarisse says, for once not looking like she wants to murder them.
“We are watching that show,” Groover says while pointing at Luke arriving towards the two others.
“Oh shit, this is going to be good. Move your little asses I want front row to Max getting his ass beaten,” Clarisse says with a smirk, but not before stealing some popcorn.
“It is getting heated,” Annabeth says, feeling unsure for once at the decision she made of letting you go towards the Apollo boy.
“Luke tries to push him but no of course she gets between them.”, Clarisse says, looking disappointed that the Hermes boy hadn’t slapped the Apollo kid. 
Max tries to put his hand on your shoulder while speaking but before he can Luke brings you to his side, putting you behind him and glaring at the boy in front of him.
“Touch her again and this time I will cut your hand off,”, they hear Luke say in a warning tone making them all let out a collective gasp.
“Get him Castellan!”, Clarisse yells suddenly, making the three teenagers look into your direction.
“Shit he saw us, time to go!”, Percy yells and the four manage to scramble away before the Hermes boy can turn his frustration towards them.
--
“Luke, will you calm down please. He was just giving me pointers.”, she says for the second time, but he can’t find it himself to calm down.
The boy had his hands on her, and he can’t stop seeing his flirty smile and her shy one.
“Fine. I’ll leave you two then.”, he says, feeling so angry that he just wants to rip everything to shreds.
“Common, Luke,” he hears her say and silently he hopes that she is following him, and that she didn’t chose to stay with the idiot.
He feels her hand on his arm and stops as she lets out a sigh.
“Will you stop and talk for a moment?”, she says, and he takes a deep breath before turning around.
“Don’t you have a sword lesson to follow?”, he says, unable to hide the sarcasm at the words.
“I simply asked him because you were too busy flirting with Claire,” the name of the Aphrodite girl is said with a certain disdain, that Luke recognizes all too well from his own thoughts about Max.
“Are you jealous?”, the girl scoffs but Luke can’t help the wide smile that appears at her embarrassment.
“Like you weren’t just throwing a hissy fit over there for the whole camp,” she bites back and Luke chuckles in response, getting closer to her.
“I was jealous, I can openly admit that. Nearly wanted to rip his head from his body for barely touching your waist,” he admits, watching her eyes widen in surprise and with something else. 
“Fine, I was jealous about Claire and the attention you were giving her,” she says, looking like she wanted to say anything but that. Luke smiles as he gets even closer to her and brings his arm around her waist, making her look at him in surprise.
“I wasn’t interested in her, I just wanted to see how you reacted to me talking with her and I have to say it was quite the show,” the girl looks at him with wide eyes.
“You dick! I thought you were interested in her!”, she exclaims, and Luke can’t help but laugh at her words.
“How could I be interested in her when I have you in the back of my mind all the time,” he whispers, smelling her perfume as he got even closer to her.
“Good thing I haven’t been able to think about anyone else either,” she whispers back, and Luke can’t help but feel revived at the words.
“Max?”, he asks, wanting to make sure that she wasn’t just confused.
“It was a plan to make you jealous,” she whispers, her cheeks heating up in embarrassment and after a moment Luke realizes what she just said.
“You little minx, and I thought you were innocent!”, the words make her laugh as she curls her arms around his neck.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. Although it was fun to see you act all protective over me,” she whispers while biting her lip and Luke can’t help but look at her soft lips. 
“You drive me crazy darling,” he tells her before bringing her into a kiss, he holds her waist tightly and lets out a soft moan as she cards her fingers through his hair.
Unbeknownst to them five other campers are celebrating behind the trees.
“I told you this would work!”, Percy says, and Annabeth can’t help but agree.
“I thought he was going to rip my head off,” Max says, and the others snort in response.
“You were lucky she was there buddy,” Groover says while patting Max on the back.
“I don’t know about you guys but watching them kiss is not really my thing, let’s move out,” the others quickly agree at Annabeth’s words and leave their hiding place to go to the lake, leaving the two lovebirds alone.
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