#also JUST putting everything middle or right where it belonged took like 4-6 hours

[aethercurrent]

The Incident in the last tags was in relation to leer aka eden rewrite.

check-ins required gdocs. which, like, fine, whatever. bothersome since that thing is laggy as SHIT on my end but i'll live.

i thought

now, you see, i'd been having a wretched time. lowest of the lows i'd had in a while. working on leer had been nothing but the little bit of joy i had at the time. it's nice to work on something experimental and seeing it come together after all! then, The Incident. i paste leer into gdocs thinking it'll be fine.

leer, experimental as it is, is in screenplay format. meaning fully edited and formatted, it looks like this.

leer was nearly finished at that point. it had 60k of its 77k words.

all the formatting was gone. uploading the darned thing didn't make the formatting work either, because the universe fucking HATED me that day. so guess which person going through a hysterical breakdown laugh-sobbing as it progressed, was forced to re-align already aligned text. because the mods said it needed at least the base formatting.

and THAT's why i have a blood feud with gdocs

also read leer please

[xoxo-teddybear]

Heyo! I'm a REALLY REALLY REALLY! Big fan of angst and your works, so I have a suggestion! So like, in this au Bakugou and Y/N are aged up and they have a daughter (let's just say her name is either Katsumi or Kirumi). So, the child is 4 years old and she didn't get her quirk yet. Let's just say Bakugou got drunk when his friends dragged him to a bar and this woman decided to hit him up and let's just say he cheated- so Y/N found out because kiri just had to tell her because it wasn't manly at all for him to keep a secret and Y/N left him with his child and boom! Bad ending. Please tag me in this one tyy!

Bet.

(Changed it up the slightest bit to make Katsumi remember bc I kinda wanna do a part 2 for this)

Nobody to Blame but Yourself - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: ANGST, cursing, cheating, alcohol consumption

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Pt.1 Pt.2

You have a small, beautiful family. Your loving husband, Katsuki and your adorable daughter, 5 year old Katsumi.

Katsumi was your precious baby girl. She had Katsuki’s ash blonde hair with your silky smooth hair texture. She had your E/C eyes and Katsuki’s porcelain skin. She had Katsuki’s bravery and boldness along with your kindness and compassion. She was a perfect mix of you both.

Y/N and Katsuki have been together ever since their childhood. Their families were close and they grew up together. Katsuki always swore to protect his princess. They got together in their junior year and about 5 years after they graduated from UA high, Katsuki proposed.

—

—

“Be back soon, okay Suki?” You sweetly said to your husband as he got closer to the door. He pulled you in with a smile and pecked your cheek.

“Yeah, yeah Teddy Bear. I’ll probably be back sooner than you think, don’t even wanna go with those losers.” He complained with a strained face. You giggled at his expression and went on.

“Those losers have been your best friends since high school. You love them. You know you do,” you teased. “Besides, you haven’t spent some time with them in forever.”

“Yeah Y/N. I’m a husband and a dad. I don’t need to be around my friends, I need to be with my family.” He exclaimed with a playful voice.

“Well your family will still be here when you get back. Just as long as you always come back to us too.” You said with a wink.

“Always will Teddy Bear.” He said holding you tight. He held you close until you both heard the little pitter patter of feet running to the front door. You both looked down and saw your daughter in her pjs and watched as she jumped onto Katsuki.

“Be back soon daddy!” She said with a squeal. Katsumi was definitely a daddy’s girl. Her and her father were attached at the hip the second she was born. They were best friends and you loved their father-daughter dynamic.

“Katsumi, you’re supposed to be sleeping, love.” You said with a chuckled as you held her tiny hand while Katsuki picked her up in his arms.

“I wanted to say bye to daddy before he went to see uncle Kiri! And uncle Denki and uncle Sero and Auntie Mina!” She said and watched as you and Bakugou lip synced to her voice as she said the Bakusquad’s names. She laughed at her parent’s teasing as Katsuki assaulted her in kisses.

“That’s sweet baby bear. Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon. So get to bed you brat,” Bakugou said as he placed his daughter down and ruffled her hair. Others would look down on the rough treatment but you knew Katsumi never took it seriously. She always laughed and played back with Katsuki whenever he put on his ‘mean guy act.’

“M’kay.” Katsuki bent down to kiss her cheek and you followed doing the same action before Katsumi ran back off to her room. You and Katsuki said bye to each other after Katsuki gave you a loving kiss. He walked out the door to meet with his friends as he knew he was in for a long night.

It would soon shock him to see how true that statement would be.

—

The night was going well. Katsuki left around 8:30 and he said he would be back sooner than you thought so considering he was now a family man, you thought he’d be back by midnight. However, you woke up in the middle of the night and saw it was 3 in the morning...and he still wasn’t home. You were starting to get worried now.

If this was back in your earlier years of marriage, you’d say this was okay. Not great but okay, except now, Katsuki has responsibilities and promises that he vowed to keep. He should’ve been home a long time ago. Where was he? You stayed up deciding to sit and wait for him to come home and after almost 2 hours, your phone rang.

You picked it up quickly with a little bit of fear and anger sitting in your stomach. You didn’t even bother to check who it was so when you heard the voice of your husband’s best friend instead of Katsuki, you grew concerned.

“Katsuki! Where are you?!” You asked with worry as you slightly shouted into the phone.

“Hey Y/N..... It’s Kirishima. Umm...I have something to tell you.” He said with sadness detected in his voice.

“Kiri? Is everything alright? Wheres Katsuki?” You asked.

“I’m so sorry Y/N...”

Listening to the red head’s voice made your eyes pop. Your body trembled and tears began to pool in your eyes as you shook your head in denial. Katsuki loved you. You both had a daughter! A family! He would never....he wouldn’t....right? After talking to your friend for some time and getting the crucial information you needed, you made up your mind on what you had to do.

“T-Thank you, Kirishima. Goodnight.” You said into the phone with a hiccup.

“I’m sorry Y/N. You don’t deserve this. You and Katsumi....goodnight.” He said and hung up the phone. You placed it down and sat in silence for a moment. After about a minute, you broke down again and cried into your hands. You sobbed as tears flowed down your cheeks. Rivers of heartbreak and anger streamed down your face as you cried the night away.

Well..you couldn’t cry all night. Katsuki would probably be back in the morning and you had plans. You’d have to save your tears for later. You looked at the time.

4:18 a.m.

You set your alarm for 6 and went back to bed. The whole night, all you could think about was your precious baby girl. This was going to break her little heart. Instead of crying over your husband’s betrayal, you wept for your daughter’s future without her best friend. Eventually you cried yourself to sleep and the sun rose in time.

—

10:00 a.m

Katsuki opened his eyes to the alarm on the nightstand. He yawned a bit before adjusting his eyes to morning light. The more he looked at the stand, the more he realized he didn’t recognize it. Nor the alarm clock. He looked around and noticed he wasn’t in his bedroom. Katsuki shot up and sat on the bed and looked down to notice he was completely undressed. He looked to the side and saw some random woman. A complete stranger who was also naked in bed with him. His heart grew rapid as his eyes grew frantic.

“No, no, no, no, no, no this can’t be happening..this can’t be happening!” Katsuki said as his hands found way to his hair as he tugged on the blonde locks. The woman next to him awoken to his shuffling and smiled up at him. She placed her hand on his bare chest and cuddled in close to him as she sighed in content.

“G’morning handsome. Had a fun night?” She teased, reminding him of his affair and unloyal actions.

“Get the fuck off me!” He said as he jumped out of bed and found his pants. He pulled them on and continued to scream. “What the fuck is wrong with you?! The hell did you do to me you fucking slut?”

“What’re you talking about? And who the fuck are you calling a slut?” The woman said with sass.

“Just tell me where I am!” Katsuki demanded.

“A hotel! You know, the hotel you dragged me to so you could get your dick wet.” She said as she sat up from the bed but still covered herself with the blanket.

“Why the fuck would I do that?!” He screamed.

“You tell me. All I know is that I saw you in that bar, you drank a hell of a lot with your friends, I came up to you and flirted with you, you flirted back, we shared a few more drinks, and you dragged me here. I mean, I consented of course but still.” The stranger explained. Bakugou shook as he looked around in a frenzy. “Anyway, round 2?”

“You fucking bitch, I have a wife!” He screamed at her as he got himself dressed.

“Heh, wow. Well when your wife leaves you after she finds out you cheated, give me a call.” The woman said as she layed back down on the bed. Katsuki seethed at her as he squinted his eyes in disgust.

“You shameless slut. Like hell I will! And Y/N’s not gonna leave me! She loves me! And I love her-“

“Sure didn’t seem like it last night~” the woman said. Bakugou had enough and blasted the bed she was on with his quirk before cussing her out and leaving her there. He quickly ran out the hotel and found his car. He hopped inside and started it as he quickly sped off home.

“Shit!” Bakugou screamed at himself. How could he do that?! How could he cheat on you?! You were his everything! You and Katsumi! His two girls were his entire world! And he betrayed the both of you by doing this. He could only hope that you wouldn’t find out. He can’t tell you what he did. He would lose you! He can’t lost you! This whole thing just has to pass over and things will be fine. Right? Well something didn’t sit right with him as he inched closer and closer to his house.

—

When the 6 o’clock alarm rang, you woke up, ready for the day to begin and the drama to unfold. You were quick to get yourself ready. Brush your teeth, shower, get dressed, a little makeup, and you packed your important belongings and your clothes. Everything else would be replaceable. You put on a pair of shoes and put the rest in the large suitcase you had.

You made a quick call to Mina, assuming she already knew what happened. You asked if you could drop Katsumi off for some time and she of course said yes. After saying ‘thank you,’ you brought all your bags into your car and went back inside to get your daughter.

You walked into your daughter’s bedroom to see her sleeping peacefully. Next to her bed, a framed picture of your once happy family. It was Katsumi’s 4th birthday and she didn’t want to spend it with anybody else except for Mommy and Daddy. Now, you were gonna have to take someone out the picture. You shook your daughter awake and watched as she opened her beautiful E/C eyes that resembled your own.

“Katsumi..hey baby, wake up.” You softly said with a reassuring smile to not alarm her. You watched as she rubbed her eyes with her tiny fist and looked up at you.

“Mommy? What’s going on?” She asked as she looked around in a daze.

“You’re gonna have a little play date at Auntie Mina and Uncle Kiri’s house. Uncle Denki and Uncle Sero will be there too! You excited?” You asked with enthusiasm to hide your pain.

“Really Mommy?!” Your daughter asked with excitement.

“Mhm! Get ready and get dressed for Mommy. They’ll be here at 8, okay?” You said rubbing your daughter’s back before she quickly jumped out of bed and into her own bathroom.

“Okay Mommy!” She said as she ran into the bathroom, turning on the sink to begin her morning routine. Some time passed and Katsumi got dressed and you went back in her room to help her dry her hair. You helped her put on her shoes and by the time they were on, Mina and Kiri were already at the door.

You opened it with a soft smile and the couple looked at you with supportive, sad eyes. “Hey guys..”

“It’s okay to be sad Y/N, we’re here for you.” Mina said. Your eyes teared up at her words but you shook your head and gave her a hug.

“Thank you, but I promise myself I wouldn’t cry. At least, not when Katsumi’s around. I gotta be strong for her. Her whole life’s about to change after all.” You sadly said as you looked down and released your hold on Mina. Your pink friend nodded before walking into the house to find Katsumi in her bedroom. You and Kirishima stayed at the door and talked a bit more.

“I’m so sorry for all of this Y/N. I should’ve been watching him more.” Kirishima said as he looked down in sorrow.

“Kiri, you shouldn’t have to watch him. He cheated and that was his choice. Your choice was being a true friend and telling me. A true man,” you joked. You both gave a little bittersweet laugh before calming down again. “Thank you so much Kirishima.”

The red head did nothing but pull you in for a tight hug. You almost cried on his shoulder before your daughter came to the both of you. “Uncle Kiri!”

You both separated and looked down at the excited 5 year old. She jumped onto her uncle and he happily held her in his arms. “Hey squirt. Ready for a day full of fun?”

“Mhm!” Katsumi replied. You all talked some more before Katsumi said her goodbye to you and went off with Kirishima and Mina. You shut the door and took a break as you allowed a few silent tears to drop. You wiped them away and went to pack your daughter’s bags. Just a few more hours and he’d be home..probably. All you knew was that you’d have to face him eventually.

Finally, you finished packing your daughter’s things and placed them in your car. You put on a jacket and waited for Katsuki to walk through the doors. Soon, this perfect little family would go crumbling to the ground.

—

Katsuki pulled into his driveway and his eyes took notice of your car still there. He smiled at the sight and quickly got out of the car. He slammed the vehicle door shut and ran to the entrance. He unlocked the door in a rush and to say he was happy to see you on the couch, still there, was an understatement.

“Y/N! Hey Teddy Bear! I am so sorry!” He said as he ran to you and sat down next to you on the couch, pulling you in for a tight hug. He was too happy to even notice your jacket and shoes that you wore.

“Katsuki, you were gone all night. Where were you?” You said in a soft voice as you placed your hand on his chest so you could face him.

“I-..I overdid it and spent the night at Kirishima’s. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you, love. I was passed out the whole night.” He said and attempted to pull you in again but you pressed a hand to his chest to stop him. You couldn’t believe he was going to lie to you. Actually, now that you think about it, cheating wasn’t below him so why would lying be either?

“So why didn’t Kirishima call me? Or Mina?” You questioned. Unfortunately, you underestimated Katsuki’s quick tongue. He was a good liar, and if you hadn’t already known the truth, you’d probably believe him.

“Shitty hair’s phone died and Alien girl was asleep by the time we got back. By the time he put me in the guest bed, I knocked out so don’t asked me what happened after.” He said. Your anger and fury grew at his lies but he didn’t notice. “Look, I’m so sorry I came back so late but I can make it up to you Teddy Bear. Now would you just give me a hu-“

“SHUT! UP!” You screamed as you pushed him off of you. You stood up from the couch and Bakugou watched you in “confusion.” Bakugou felt his heart racing as he had a guess at why you were so mad but he refused to believe it.

“T-Teddy Bear, whats wrong?” He asked with shaky hands as he tried to reach out to you but you dodged all his attempts.

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong?! You’re fucking lying to me! You’re lying to me after doing what you did! Katsuki, are you just gonna act like you don’t know what you did?! Because I know! So why don’t you?!” You screamed at him. Bakugou still couldn’t believe you knew so he tried his soft attempts once more and reached out to you again.

“Baby, please calm dow-“

“Are you fucking serious Katsuki? You’re gonna tell me to calm down?!” You laughed out in disbelief. You watched as Katsuki’s lip began to tremble and he looked down in shame. “Say it.”

“What?” He spoke softly.

“Say what you did.”

“......”

“Say it Katsuki! Tell me what you did and how you betrayed not only me but your daughter too.” You specified. It took Bakugou a second before he spoke up in a soft, quiet voice.

“I cheated on you...”

“Louder.”

“I cheated on you!” He said while standing up and facing you with tears in his eyes. “I cheated on you! Okay?! I got drunk last night and slept with someone else but baby I swear I didn’t mean it!” He said as he walked to you and tried to hold you. You once again pushed his hands away before speaking back.

“It doesn’t matter if you meant it or not Katsuki! You still did it!” Your voice grew dry as it began to break. Your eyes pooled with tears as you continued. “I would’ve NEVER done that to you. I wouldn’t even be CAPABLE of doing that to you Katsuki! Because I love you!”

“I love you Y/N! I swear I do!” He fought back but you retaliated.

“It doesn’t seem like it! Because you slept with someone else! You promised me you would never hurt me. You promised you would always protect me. You promised me that you loved me and only me! Not only that but you promised your daughter that you would never bring harm to her! Guess what?! You’re the reason her whole life is going to be so fucked Katsuki! Do you realize that?!” You screamed at him.

“I do, Teddy Bear, I do!” He said.

“Don’t fucking call me that Katsuki!” You said with an exasperated voice. Bakugou shook his head as he walked to you and kneeled infront of you.

“Baby, please! I’m sorry! I was drunk, it didn’t mean anything! It was a mistake but if we can forget about this I promise I’ll make it up to you!” He begged.

“Forget? Forget?! Are you insane?! I’m never gonna be able to forget any of this Katsuki. How the hell am I supposed to forget that my first friend, my first love, my first kiss, my first everything betrayed me like this! How am I supposed to forget that my husband, who I’ve known since we were fucking babies, cheated on me?! Tell me!” You said as the tears finally fell.

“I don’t know...I don’t know but I promise I can make it up to you! So please forgive me! Please stay!” He pleaded. The whole time he couldn’t let go of you. Every time you pushed him off, he just came right back.

“How am I supposed to trust that you’ll actually keep that promise?” You said softly with a sad voice. “If it wasn’t clear already, I’m not staying. We’re getting a divorce, Katsuki.”

Bakugou felt his heart shatter. He looked at you with his trembling body and shaky irises. “W-What?”

“Katsuki...you cheated. There’s no other way around it. No explanations or excuses. And you can’t even blame it on the alcohol because I’ve been blackout drunk before too and the idea of cheating on you never even crossed my mind. You have nobody to blame but yourself.” You said with a broken voice and a shrug. “We’re getting a divorce and I’m taking Katsumi with me.” You said and began to walk to the door.

Bakugou couldn’t believe what he just heard and so he got up from his knees and ran after you. He ran in front of you and held you by the shoulders. “What?! No! Baby!! Please, that’s my daughter! You can’t just take her from me, please!”

“I won’t be taking her from you,” you said and pushed his hands off your shoulders. “We can co-parent, but when she’s old enough, when Katsumi asks why we’re no longer together, I’ll be telling her the truth. So you can still see her, but when she’s ready to know, if she decides she hates you and doesn’t want to see you ever again, then you’ll have to accept it.”

At this point, Katsuki began to openly cry as he allowed his fat tears to flow down his face. Hiccups left his mouth as he shamelessly sobbed infront of you. “Y-Y/N....please don’t go. You guys are my family, you’re both my entire world..I-I love you both so much,” he said and went in to grab your hand, which you allowed. “I know I hurt you both a-and I know I fucked up, but please just give me another chance. I swear this was just a mistake, I never meant to do it. Please stay...please let me fix my mistake. I love you.”

Tears once again filled your eyes but you didn’t allow them to flow. “.....I love you too Katsuki,” at those words, Bakugou felt a bit of hope. “But I just can’t stay with you. If it was just me..I probably would give you another chance..but Katsumi is your daughter Katsuki. She’s your own flesh and blood and you betrayed her. You’re supposed to be her hero and you betrayed her like this. I just can’t trust the fact that you won’t do something like this again, and not just for my sake but for our daughter’s too. I’m sorry, but this is where we end.”

Once you said that you walked away from Bakugou, leaving him in shock. He stood there, regretting everything. Not just his mistake, but all the times where he could’ve been a better husband.

‘I should’ve held her more..I should’ve been home more...I should’ve been more for them,’ he thought until he heard the door open and slam shut. He turned to face it and looked around the now very empty house. He allowed silent tears to drip down his face and then he took a little tour of his new environment.

He walked to the master bedroom and saw all your belongings gone. He saw your closet was empty, all your shoes gone. He went into the bathroom and saw all your stuff was missing. The tears flowed faster and when he walked into his daughter’s room, it made it 10x worse.

He opened the door to the pink room and saw her bedsheets missing, all her toys gone, her closet was barren, and her bathroom was hollow. He walked back out to his little girl’s former bed and sat down. He cried on the bed and sobbed into his hands. He broke down as he thought back to your words. You were right.

‘You have nobody to blame but yourself.’

Katsuki looked up from his hands and when he did, he took notice of the picture frame that was left faced down on the night stand. He picked it up and his heart turned to dust. It couldn’t break anymore. He looked at the picture of his once happy family. His beautiful wife, his blessing of a daughter. His two girls who had a protector...that protector was supposed to be him...and he failed. He smiled at the picture but continued to cry. It was a beautiful sight but you left it behind.

He took the picture with him as he walked to his bedroom. He sat on the bed and held the frame close to his chest as he layed down on the cold mattress. Tears still freely fell as a shadow casted over his eyes. No words could be said except for a few.

“N-Nobody to blame but myself.”

@darl1ngmei

A/N: Hey Cubs! It’s been awhile since my requests have been closed AND THEY STILL ARE but the reason why I took this one was because I’ve been on a writing spree recently (I literally have 15 drafts full of different writing pieces🤣) and I rly liked this request! Please don’t start sending requests because they may just get lost. When I open up my requests, then you guys can send some because I love to satisfy! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this piece and thank you to the cub who requested this! 🧸💗

[andreafmn]

Running In Circles - Chapter 4

Word Count: 3,783

Characters: Female Reader Rossi Character, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid, Jennifer “JJ”Jareau, Emily Prentiss, Penelope Garcia

Story Description: (Y/N) Rossi is following in her father’s footsteps by joining the BAU team as a profiler. The girl genius knew almost everything but she could have never predicted falling for Aaron Hotchner, her boss and her father’s friend. in their world mutual feelings are not enough to push them together. Will all the adversities and obstacles they face pull them together or push them apart forever?

*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Criminal Minds, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Jeff Davis and CBS Network. The only thing I own is Arden Rossi, any upcoming characters, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others’ story line.

Chapter: 4/?

A/N: These next chapters are really just gonna be the necessary episode that contributes to the character's storyline. I'll try my best to compress them into fewer chapters but some I do need for my storyline. If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

Follow Me!

<-Previous | Next ->

Chapter 4

It’s funny how life moves so quickly, but agonizingly slow at the same time.

We had been on the hunt for the prince of darkness after he resurfaced 26 years after what we thought was his last crime in California. He had been across the 48 continuous states, leaving his mark of crimes all over the map. Initially, we were confused as to why he would reappear in Los Angeles if he never hit the same city twice until we noticed a pattern. Billy Flynn was recreating his original murders to taunt Matt Spicer, a survivor, and tell him he’d be going after Spicer’s family because he wanted recognition for the murder that had made Spicer a “city hero”, he wanted to be part of the story. They were horrible and vile crimes one after the other and we were working nonstop to catch him. The case took a turn when we found out he was going after Ellie and Kristin Spicer, Matt’s daughter, and sister, respectively.

The case took a turn when we sent Spicer and Morgan to retrieve the family thinking Flynn was going to take them from Matt’s house. But it was too late, he had gotten there before them. The duo decided to go to Kristin’s house believing he needed privacy to conduct whatever he was planning. Hotch, Prentiss, and I were in a car as we got intel from Morgan, waiting on the address of the sister’s house. But it didn’t make sense, that wasn’t personal enough for him. It didn’t tie into the story. Being stuck in traffic was exasperating, and it only got worse once we lost cell reception in the middle of a call.

Against my better judgment, we headed to Kristin’s apartment where we found out she had been gone for hours and Morgan had never arrived.

“Something must have changed,” Emily expressed.

“The cells are down,” Kurzbard chimed. “Now how the hell do you find them?”

“What would cause Morgan to change his like that when he knows he can’t tell us?” My father spoke up, worry evident in his eyes.

“The unsub had Spicer’s sister and daughter; Morgan knew he didn’t have a lot of time.” Hotch analyzed.

“So, his first guess had to be right.”

“The unsub attacked Spicer specifically through his family,” Emily commented.

“How long has Spicer’s sister lived here?”

“6-7 months.”

“Well, that’s why they didn’t come here.”

“If the unsub wants to hurt Spicer, hell do it someplace that means something to him. Morgan must have realized the same thing.” I thought. “The unsub and Spicer do share one place in common.”

“Santa Monica.”

“Where he killed his parents,” I finished.

“Let’s go.” Hotch started the quick walk to the cars to speed off to Spicer’s childhood home, where we hoped to find Morgan and the Spicers.

Once we arrived the front yard was covered with emergency vehicles, my mind spiraling to the worse possible scenario. We were already one man down; Flynn had gotten to Spicer. Kristin was in rough shape and Flynn had taken Ellie. Morgan had a pretty nasty head wound, but being the strong-headed man he was he just wanted to get back to work.

“Guys, I’m not going to any hospital until we find that little girl.” He directed himself to the EMT. “Now, please just put a bandage on it.”

“Morgan, what’s the notebook?” I motioned to the small book in front of him.

“I asked the sister to tell me everything she could remember about the unsub.”

“And what’s her condition?”

“It’s bad.”

“I’ll go check on her,” Emily offered. She left with the ambulance and hopefully we could get more information out of her.

Everyone knew Morgan wasn’t in perfect condition to continue working, but we also knew he wouldn’t allow us to make him rest. JJ and Reid arrived at the scene with satellite phones to allow communication to continue while the phone towers were down.

“Any word on Ellie?” JJ asked, clearly worried about the innocent little girl that had been brought into this tragedy. Morgan glared at her with such an intensity we all got uncomfortable. “I was just…”

“It’s not you,” I comforted, going out to follow Morgan, Hotch trailing behind.

Outside he called Garcia, asking for her to run the plates on the RV, treating her coldly. I knew he was desperate, but Penelope was worried, as were the rest of us. Something much worse could’ve happened to him; he could have ended up like Spicer.

“You know, she really needs to be more professional sometimes.” Derek turned.

“She gets the job done every time,” Hotch defended.

“I told him, Hotch.” His voice cracked. “I told him that we should wait for backup but he wouldn’t listen to me. We split up and he headed around back before I could stop him.”

“Morgan, sometimes when it comes to family common sense and procedure go out the window.”

“You do the best you can,” I comforted, laying a hand on his shoulders to let him know he wasn’t alone.

“This unsub raped the aunt and then beat her for no reason. She didn’t resist, guys. And he still pistol-whipped her until her ribs were crushed. He killed Spicer while he was on his knees. He was unarmed. This guy’s a pure psychopath. I want this guy.”

“And we’ll get him.”

“Well, we better do it fast. Taking Ellie was like a game to him. The sick bastard thought it was funny. He’s gonna get pissed off at her, she’s nothing but a little girl. She’s gonna show him fear, and when she does… he’s gonna kill her.”

“Then, what are we doing standing around? Let’s go,” I tried my best to encourage.

We all quickly headed back to the precinct, needing to calculate what his net moves would be. He changed his methods suddenly; all patterns were out the window. Flynn wasn’t devolving he was becoming more calculate, we had to find the ends to his means. And Derek’s attitude wasn’t helping to ease the tension we were all feeling. Thankfully, Emily entered at the right moment. We couldn’t run the plates, possibly Kristin had gotten them wrong, but she remembered something crucial. The radio. Flynn listened to the radio following the sound of his name in the mouths of newscasters, and although this could help us, the LAPD had released everything we knew about the RV, about Ellie, and about him.

“That might force him to dump the RV,” my dad said.

“Or kill…” Spencer started but quickly stopped knowing this wouldn’t help appease the strained situation.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

“He could’ve killed you and the sister, but he didn’t. He kept you alive, he can’t be surprised that we know what he’s driving and that he has a hostage,” I explained, my father nodding his head in agreement.

We knew he listened to the radio but not which station, but an idea surfaced in JJ. We could try to work with the Emergency Alert System. Quickly, she got to work to be able to get out a message that we were sure would reach Flynn. On one side of the room, Emily and Morgan were talking about Kristin and what she had made him promise her. The safekeeping of Ellie. Kristin said it wasn’t fair of her to ask that, but Morgan wouldn’t break that promise.

As JJ worked the bureaucratic sinkhole that was the EAS, we got word that Flynn was currently in another house with Ellie. When we arrived at the scene, he was gone, but not for the lack of trying to from the neighbors. They had tried to stop him, but he had already taken that family’s car and was able to speed off. We needed to work even quicker than before, he was getting desperate.

Inside the RV he discarded, Ellie’s hair was found on the floor. Derek got enraged, but Spencer reassured him: “Why would you disguise someone you were going to kill?”

Looking for clues inside, Derek found a pipe and I found a newspaper. As they fixated on more clues from the underlined words on it: “bright, happy child,” Spencer pointed out, Derek thought back on what Flynn had said back at the Spicer house. Flynn was after Ellie all along.

One thing we were wrong on the profile, he was stuck in the delusion of believing he was some sort of grandparent to Ellie; she wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t let Matt survive. In a matter of seconds, the gears in the case started shifting at full speed. Once JJ got through to the Madame Secretary, Hotch assigned her to hostage negotiation through the system, trying to find a way to draw him out. On the other hand, Reid and I were looking over some newspapers that were stored in the RV, the murders we might have thought were his first might not have been. As soon as the lights came back on and the cell towers were up we were contacting Garcia to check the records on a murder investigation from 1968.

Garcia has always worked fast and well, this time it was no different.

“So, Nora Flynn was a prostitute and a drug addict living in a desert community just outside of Los Angeles. It appears bikers were her stock in trade, rough bikers. And one fateful day she and a client were murdered by her 13-year-old son Billy. Shot to death. The costumer, ironically named John, was able to tell the police before he died that Billy made him beg for his life and then shot him anyway.”

“That’s him,” Morgan commented.

“And he was convicted, but...”

“He’s a juvenile,” I said.

“Right. So at 18, he was released in 1973, never heard from again,” Penelope continued.

“Oh, he was heard from,” Emily spoke up.

“And he never released a statement as to why he killed them, although it does appear his childhood was horrific. I’m sending you a picture of him on the day he was released to your PDAs.”

“make sure you send the files to JJ,” Hotch instructed.

“Of course, my liege. Garcia bids you ad…”

She was cut off by Morgan, hopefully, so he could apologize for being so cold. “Garcia, wait a minute.”

He took the phone and left to a more private corner to talk to our tech genius. Also, Hotch had gone outside to help JJ with the tough job she had to do; I did not want to be in her shoes right now. We were all standing around in a circle listening to JJ, we could tell she was nervous and picking her words carefully. At first, it was a little rough, but as soon as she tapped into her motherly instincts it was going way smoother. Hopefully, it hit the nail on the head.

Then we received some unfortunate news, Kristin had passed away. The look of defeat on Derek’s face was painful, Ellie was alone now. But there was some hope – Flynn had let Ellie go. JJ had succeeded. We sped off to the house where Billy Flynn was hiding. Upon arrival we were met with the LAPD, they had a direct line to Flynn sent in and were waiting for contact. It rang as soon as we got there, he was watching us.

“He wants to talk to you,” Kurzbard extended the phone towards Derek.

“What?” His tone was pointed, laced with anger and desperation. “He wants me to come in.”

Morgan started walking towards the house after exchanging some words with Hotch. My heart was beating a million miles an hour and I held onto Emily to stabilize myself. We had no eyes or ears on the inside of the house, and anything could happen whilst we were outside and Derek inside.

A couple of minutes went by until ten shots rang through the house. My heart dropped and tears spilled from my eyes unconsciously. I was expecting for the worse as my hands flew to my gun, ready to enter the house, but Emily held me back as Derek calmly walked out of the house. Emily and Spencer accompanied officers to survey the scene and I stayed behind with my father and Hotch to make sure Derek was okay. My father hugged my shoulders as we watched the reunion between Ellie and Morgan, who thankfully came out of the house unscathed.

On the flight home, I couldn’t help but shed a few tears as the adrenaline from the case was wearing down. Next to me, Derek noticed my mood shift and sat closer to me.

“What’s up, baby girl? What’s got you like this?”

“I don’t know, it’s just back at the house we didn’t know anything and all we hard were the shots; I just thought the worst had happened. I’m just being dumb,” I chuckled, trying to downplay how I was feeling. He was the one who went through the traumatic experience, not me.

“Oh come on, you know it would take more than a couple of knocks and a crazy unsub to take me down. You’re gonna have to put up with me for a long time. All of us,” he motioned to the rest of the team. The ones who were still awake nodded and smiled.

But the team would suffer a huge loss before we knew it. This morning JJ, Strauss, and Hotch had been in Hotch’s office right before we were meant to be on the plane to Atlantic Beach. No one knew what they were meeting about, but it had to be serious.

We all left to the case with the underlying question of what the meeting was about. On the plane we stared at JJ until she confessed about the meeting; the Pentagon had offered her a job twice and Strauss wanted her to take it. As much as we wanted to pick her brain about it, there wasn’t too much news. She had a job offer she didn’t want and our boss wanted her to take it. We needed to focus on the case.

At the moment there were two men in custody, 20-year-old Sid and Jimmy. They were claiming they both had consensual sex with our 19-year-old victim Kate after she left a bar with them. Highly doubtful. The need to break them down psychologically became apparent when there were no plot holes found in their stories by the police. We had no body, two suspects, and a limited amount of time.

As soon as we landed, the team got busy with their assignments. JJ was to stay with the parents, Emily and Morgan were in interrogations, dad and Reid to the bar, and Hotch and I to review the interview videos to find any nonverbal clues to disrupt their story. As quickly as we could work so did Garcia. In minutes she gave us a big background into the kids, criminal troublemakers since their preteens.

We watched intently both interviews, Syd’s directly and Jimmy through recording. Syd was prepotent and standoffish since Derek walked in, not much perturbed him, Jimmy on the other hand had a tell.

“He never mentions her by name,” I said as we watched the interview Emily was carrying out with Jimmy.

“Why not?” Detective Mathias asked.

“He’s distancing himself,” Hotch added. “Depersonalizing the victim.”

“Look at the way he shifts his weight and cracks his neck. His behavior was consistent until Kate was mentioned,” I noted and Hotch nodded. Mathias seemed very interested in the way we analyzed every single movement.

Then, both asked for a polygraph test. As we waited to hear from the polygraph results we got to work on theories.

“So, what if they didn’t do it then we’re back to nothing?” Mathias doubted.

“One of them knows where Kate is,” I said nonchalantly.

“How can you be sure?”

“Because an innocent person doesn’t sit quietly for three days. They get angry and defensive.”

“These guys are going out of their way to appear calm and in control,” Derek added. “They’ve got something to hide.”

We knew they were stalling with the polygraphs, all we had to do is figure out what they knew about Kate’s whereabouts. Hotch then sent JJ back to dig into the parents a little, why would have Kate gone with these two boys if everyone else says she wouldn’t have? JJ adamantly turned and headed to the Pearson couple.

“Hotch, we can’t lose her,” I whispered.

“Strauss thinks we’re all replaceable. I went over her head to try to explain that we’re not.”

It wasn’t the answer we wanted, but it’s the one that we got. At the end of the day, we could be short a team member. And worse, our family would be separated.

But we had to continue working, they had passed the tests. We needed to continue the interviews. Something they were counting on. Dad went in to talk to Syd and Reid talked to Jimmy, the latter having a bit of a short fuse. We were going to continue on and on until they broke.

We had less than three hours until they were released. We needed everything we could get. As Derek pushed Syd, and Emily left Jimmy, Hotch got a call. I quickly picked at his cell and the screen read Strauss. So, I excused myself and left Emily to analyze the pictures that were on Syd’s phone of that night.

“She’s leaving, isn’t she?” I asked, reading Hotch’s defeated posture. He nodded. “There’s nothing you can do?”

“They’re not asking. It’s a direct order,” he rubbed his temples.

“So, she’s going to DC?” He nodded once more. I knew it was hard on him the most. He was the person we all looked onto to keep us united, but this really was out of his hands.

“I really wish there was more I could do,” he sighed. We shared a quick hug in the empty hallway, a way of reassuring him that he didn’t have to carry this news by himself. As we detached, he shared a small smile of relief, a small weight lifting off his shoulders.

“Well, come on. There’s no good in dwelling on it right now. Let’s catch these scumbags and bring back Kate.”

The interviews carried on. We couldn’t be distracted by the sad news. We were picking apart every breath, every movement, every word. Then, as she perused the pictures, JJ noticed in a Kate-less one her phone was present. But, Kate’s phone was in possession of her mother since it was recovered from Kate’s hotel room. The girl had made it back to the hotel.

We started forming our hypothesis. Most of the story they believed to be true because it actually was, they did take her back to the hotel, and they did leave. But Jimmy had felt rejected by Kate since she didn’t pay him much attention, and he had the perfect excuse to come back. So, when he left Syd back home, he went back with Kate’s phone. He lured her outside, possibly drugged her, and took her to his boat. Spencer pointed out that Jimmy was obsessed with the details of the port and Mathias added that at that time of night the blood from the catch would attract hundreds of sharks.

“We asked him if he killed her,” I sighed. “He didn’t. Asked where her body is.”

“He doesn’t know,” Emily added, following my train of thought.

“Technically those aren’t lies,” Spencer stated.

“How can you prove this?”

“We’ll get them to admit it,” Hotch answered Mathias.

Back into the interview room we were. We had our bait, and we were gonna reel in the answers.

After we pushed and got no concrete answers, we knew we had to search the ocean. I left with JJ ad Hotch to the port in hopes that she would be found. The Coast guard was 70 miles out and there was no sign of the young girl. We were getting worried.

“Kate’s an amazing swimmer. If he didn’t kill her when she hit the water, there’s still a chance,” JJ hoped.

“JJ, that’s three days in the ocean,” Hotch stated.

“I know,” she said in a defeated tone.

“This might be a long shot, but she would have been thrown near a dangerous area, which would mean there would be buoy markers. It could be possible that, if she was still alive when she hit the water, she swam all the way to a buoy, and since it’s been three days and hopefully, she has no major wounds, there’s a high probability she could’ve survived.” JJ looked up at me and gave me a small smile.

“Nice catch, (Y/N).” Hotch quickly punched in the number for the helicopter and told them to look closely at any buoys they saw around the area.

“I have a feeling about this one, JJ.” She hugged my shoulders. “We’re gonna find her.”

It wasn’t long until we got the news. Mathias came back to tell us they had found her hugging a buoy, alive. The three of us let out a breath of relief, and the unit chief and I stayed back as JJ went to tell the parents the good news. Although no words were exchanged, when we both looked at each other we knew this victorious feeling would be a short-lived one for the team.

Now that it was over JJ would be gone. When we got back, everyone else knew. JJ came out of the briefing room with a defeated look in her eyes, after a mad Hotch had stormed into his office. It didn’t take long for these brilliant minds to figure out the exchange.

“It’s done,” she sighed.

“It can’t be that simple,” Morgan protested.

“It is,” I said.

“You knew?”

“Figured it out back at the precinct,” I answered JJ. “Hotch got the call while Derek was interviewing Syd. It wasn’t too hard to map out.”

“This job is hard enough. What’re they trying to do, bury us?”

“She’s too good,” Emily said.

“She’s on everybody’s wish list,” dad added. “Our loss is somebody else’s gain.”

“They can’t just take you away,” Spencer said sadly. But they could, and they did.

It was a hard goodbye. She wasn’t truly gone but she wouldn’t be with us anymore. There wouldn’t be a need for a true grieving period, but the JJ-shaped hole that would fall upon the BAU team would be impossible to fill. Our family would not be fully complete until hopefully one day she came back.

<-Previous | Next ->

Tag List: @wanniiieeee @obsssedwithjustaboutanything @ssamorganhotchner

[blouisparadise]

Here are some amazing bottom Louis fics posted or completed during the month of August. We really hope you enjoy this list and that you give these fics a lot of love.

Happy reading!

1) Move Out | Explicit | 1525 words

Harry and Louis are moving in together, so they might as well make the most of Harry's apartment.

2) Take Off Your Business Suit | Explicit | 3082 words

“Yes, let me get another chair.” Louis said, leaning up off of the desk. He stood up but before he could leave the office to get another chair, Harry was grabbing his hand.

The words that came out of Harry’s mouth made Louis’ knees weak and heart beat quicken. “Just sit on my lap.” Harry said. Whatever he said afterwards didn’t make it into Louis’ ears as he was moving quickly over to Harry and placing himself on Harry’s lap.Louis would take anything Harry wanted to give him; hand touching, lap sitting, all of it.

Louis hadn't realized he was holding his breath until it came out in a quiet sigh. “Okay so th-this one will be slightly different right?” He asked as he pointed at the sheet of paper in front of him.

3) So Good, It's Making Me Drool | Explicit | 3364 words

He kept his back turned to Harry, whispering the few words he knew that would make Harry go absolutely wild. “If I’m only yours, maybe you should take me to bed and teach me who I belong to.”

4) What I Like | Explicit | 4245 words

Note: This fic has mentions of BH.

Harry gets tired of the "older women" jokes and the incessant teasing from Louis.

5) ll Belong To Your Creation | General Audiences | 4349words

Louis had always thought it was impossible to do so. Thankfully, upon doing research he learned that he still can as long as there are no complications throughout the whole pregnancy. He also stumble upon a birth vlog where a mum was able to give birth naturally even after going through c-section with her first and second pregnancy.

6) An Axolotl and the Fake Date | Explicit | 5976 words

Harry runs a stall at a farmers market every weekend and Louis comes by one day with an odd request.

7) Feels So Right | Explicit | 8804 words

The one where Louis is Troy, Harry is Gabriella, and we find out what really happened after karaoke at that ski resort...

8) Giallo! | Mature | 9776 words

Louis was a mess. A stuttery mess of weak knees and grass stains on his fresh linen clothes, his cheeks blooming a natural pink that matched his sunburnt nose. Upon his return from University, his family abandon the bustling city of London to bask in the comfort of their summer villa. With such a property came maintenance, Louis' father hired a strapping young fellow with tanned skin littered with ink and a charming smile aided by dimples in both his cheeks. Between reading, baking and painting, Louis stares at Harry, he couldn't help it. They grow close under the sun of Greece in 1989.

9) Interlude: One Night in March | Explicit | 10671 words

Note: This is a sequel to this fic.

“Said I would, didn’t I?” Harry let his hands roam over Louis’s bare back, his muscles rippling with that same frenetic energy he always had, swirling just beneath the skin, just beneath Harry’s fingers. “May come a time I’ll have to carry you again.”

Cupping the back of his head and burying his fingers in Louis’s hair, he pulled Louis back into another deep kiss, moaned a bit when Louis squeezed his chest again, harder this time, like he wanted the shirt off. But instead he drew his hand down Harry’s side and tugged at the hem, as though to say best keep this on, before he licked into Harry’s mouth, drew Harry’s tongue out to play only to pull back enough to speak.

“May come a time I’ll actually fucking let you.”

10) Hate To Smoke (Without Me) | Mature | 12164 words

Sleep. Harry just wants one good night of sleep. However, his neighbour has a thing for headboard-banging-against-the-wall-sex every night. After a secret set-up and a bet, Harry may finally get the sleep he so much desires.

11) Call You Mine | Explicit | 12755 words

“I have a request.”

That’s what Louis Tomlinson says to Harry when he opens the front door a bit too aggressively. The latter feels justified after a round of annoyingly incessant knocking that was much too loud in the drowsy sludge of early Saturday morning.

“Zayn’s asleep,” is Harry’s tired, hoarse reply, irritation prickling at his skin. Less than a minute ago he was in bed, feeling perfectly content sprawled out on the mattress with the chilled air from the fan cool against his bare skin. And now he’s leaning up against the wooden door frame in nothing but his briefs because Zayn’s best mate decided that showing up unannounced at seven in the fucking morning was a brilliant idea.

“I’m not here for him,” says Louis curtly.

12) A Vivid And Wistful Melody | Explicit | 13128 words

"Slowly, he takes his violin out of its case, listens for a few more minutes to Louis’ flute, before joining him as best as he could. The flute stops for a few seconds, and Harry imagines Louis blinking cutely, taken aback, before huffing with a smile, and starting to play again, on a suddenly far happier tune. Harry closes his eyes as he twirls around the living room, violin in hand and music filling the air. He pictures Louis doing the same in his own flat while being careful as to not step on his cat.

Somehow, even with heavy eyes and tired limbs, this is the happiest Harry has ever felt in years."

In which they are neighbours stuck at home and they happen to start talking through a wall with a piano, a violin, and a flute. They end up writing the soundtrack of their own love story.

13) Until This Blood Runs Cold | Explicit | 13685 words

In a town as small as Louis’, everybody knows everybody and gossip spreads faster than the wildfires that rage on just outside their backdoors in the sweltering heat of summer. When something happens here everyone knows about it within seconds. Neighbors call neighbors and notes are left on doorsteps, old telephone lines ringing until there isn’t a single person who is left in the unknown.

So it’s definitely hot gossip when a vampire moves in across the street from him, the very same one who’s just become Louis’ boss.

14) A Road To Hope | Explicit | 18280 words

Note: There is no explicit smut but its implied BL.

“We’re far from the people and their issues, don’t hold back. Please.”

It’s true. They are far away from anything that could stop them, the middle of nowhere being the safest place on Earth for them to fall in love. The sacred land where sacred love is created. However, Louis is certain that even if they weren’t safe, he wouldn’t resist the sight of Harry, his pleading eyes, his warm skin beneath his touch.

15) Your Eyes Of Blue, Your Kisses Too | Explicit | 21785 words

When they get out onto the streets away from the crowds Niall turns to walk backwards, “So did you get any leads?”

“Well- uh.”

Niall shakes his head, “Too busy kissing that pretty boy onstage, I see. Gonna blow the whole case for a piece of ass?”

16) Thinking About Peaches | Explicit | 23724 words

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic, which is #18 on this list.

Eight smutty drabbles following the events of bruise you like a peach.

17) Quiet People Have the Loudest Minds | Mature | 38065 words

Broadway shows were one of the few things that could keep Louis’ attention for a full two hours without needing to move about. But not tonight.

The alpha next to him was both infuriating him and practically turning him on at the same time. He needed to leave. The alpha, that is. Louis was staying.

18) Bruise You Like A Peach | Explicit | 40694 words

Note: The sequel to this fic is #16 on this list. 

There’s two reasons Harry despises Econ.

The first is that it’s boring as fuck. The second reason is a bit more personal, a bit more focused in a way. As in it’s focused on one specific thing, or in his case, person.

His name is Louis Tomlinson.

19) Falling Out Of Fashion | Explicit | 42123 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Harry Styles has been the established face of the Grimshaw House of Design for two years. It’s a prestigious and coveted modeling contract Harry took away from once-famed supermodel Zayn Malik. With the model transition Grimshaw’s designs went from a more urban, Zayn-forward aesthetic, to a Harry-favoring flowery, flowing femininity in the Grimshaw designs for men.

So when Harry sees a dress Grimshaw made for a famous Marvel actress, “only a tease”, Nick says, of the evolving look, Harry knows Grimshaw is shifting his aesthetic.

Harry wonders if he can pull off the look.

Or could Grimshaw be looking for a new face?

20) Secretly Dating | Mature | 43615 words

Lottie groaned, looming over Louis with a glare. “If we’re late, Mum and Dad will never let Harry see me – ie. see you.”

It was the first time they openly addressed the fact that Harry saw more of Louis than Lottie on their supposed ‘dates.’ He supposed he knew as much, but it still startled him. “You’ve been setting us up!”

Lottie snorted, cocking out her hip and brushing her blonde hair over her shoulder. “Honestly, Harry. You’re so dense. To be fair, it was at Louis’ request.”

Louis’ mouth gaped like a fish as he jumped to standing position, wobbling only slightly. “Don’t sell me out!”

Lottie rolled her eyes. “Come on lovebirds.”

21) You’ve Got My Devotion (Hate You Sometimes) | Mature | 95417 words

Harry was in the biggest boy band in the world. He was also one half of the best (or worst, depends on who you ask) kept secret relationship in the music industry.

Now, almost five years on, after One Direction has broken up, and Harry and Louis' relationship has as well, a video threatens to put everything at risk.

One determined Irishman, a massive publicity stunt and two begrudging exes are all it takes to bring One Direction back to life and maybe, just maybe, Harry and Louis' mangled love life too.

22) The Healing Song | Mature | 111851 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Louis was carrying the large stuffed elephant like it was a baby, it’s trunk hanging over his shoulder and down his back and it’s front legs were resting around his neck, like it was hugging him. Said elephant was a present from Louis’ close friend Steve, who had thought Louis needed something to hug on bad days and had gifted him with a stuffed elephant the size of a one year old.

Steve had been right. Some days Louis did need something to hug, and this elephant was as good as anything.

Louis was having one of the rougher days. The harmonious state of the anxiety free life of a fearless Louis had ended the week after he met with Harry. It ended as abruptly as it had started. It was like pushing a button. Lights out. Almost as if the universe said “You’ve had your fun, crazy one, now go be sick” and slammed the door in his face.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

[peterspideyy]

5 times peter parker wanted to tell you he loves you, and the one time he finally does

summary- basically the title

warnings- angst, death, blood, swear words

1.

the first time peter wanted to tell you he loved you more than a friend was, when you both were studying for a test at his house. may said you could sleep over as it was getting late, and you live across town. she didn’t mind you sleeping over though, it’s not like you haven’t done it before.

“ughh can we stop studying? i feel like my head is about to explode with knowledge!” you sighed heavily, smacking your science book against your head causing peter to laugh tiredly.

“mmm okay, do you want to watch a film?”

“you know it!”

within minutes, peter had star wars on and sweets ready for you both. you were both engrossed in the film in-front of you, while you sat on peter’s bed, covered in blankets. you and peter were so interested in what was happening, that you didn’t realise you both moved your hands at the same time, to pick up the same piece of popcorn, causing your hands to meet and an electrical spark to form.

you both looked at each other, before you smiled, apologising slightly and turned back to the film. but, peter couldn’t turn his eyes away. he was engrossed not in the film, but in you. and in that moment, peter realised he was falling in love with his best friend.

2.

the second time peter wanted to tell you he loved you more than a friend was, when you stood up to flash when he was being mean to peter. it was during lunch at midtown school, where you, peter, ned and mj all sat on your regular table in the canteen. peter couldn’t help but look at you for longer after you spoke. you just looked so beautiful, causing peter to blush. but then, flash came causing you all the groan in annoyance.

“hey penis parker! still with your imaginary girlfriend? or are you still drooling over y/n?”

peter wanted to punch him right in the face when he mentioned your name. but, he also mentally slapped himself for being so dumb at how obvious he was in love with you.

“flash...go away!” peter spoke quietly, not making eye contact, but instead looking at you.

“ohhh, your not denying that you love her then?”

“flash,” you harshly spoke, looking at him, “do us a favour and fuck off! stop saying peter doesn’t have a girlfriend! it just shows how he hasn’t found the right person yet, which is so clever in my opinion! but, you go round the school going out with every girl which is so fucking stupid! so, can you please leave us alone so we can eat our fucking lunch?!”

the whole canteen fell quiet, causing you to blush slightly looking down at her food. seconds later, students forgot about what happened and the canteen came back to life. flash laughed slightly, before walking away which was must of a relief to the group.

“y/n i-i,” peter was going to say it, he was so close to saying it, “i-i i appreciate that you stood up for me.”

“no worries, it’s what best friends do!”

peter flinched at those words. he didn’t want to be best friends with you. he wanted to call you his.

3.

the third time peter wanted to tell you he loved you more than a friend was, when you found out he was spiderman.

it was silly how you found out the friendly neighbourhood spiderman was in fact peter parker. during the school day, you both agreed to go to peter’s house after school to study (which is what you normally do.) you told him that you had to collect something, but would meet him at his house which he happily agreed.

however, peter being spiderman caused him to be hours late to meeting you at his house, due to fighting all the bad guys.

with many persuasions from karen, peter decided to go home, causing him to want his bed even more. when he snook into his room, he was shocked to find you sat on his bed, starring at him.

you must of starred at each other for minutes, before you actually moved towards peter.

“you-you’re spiderman?”

“errr,” peter didn’t know if it was a statement or question, “yehh?”

“w-what? how is this possible? are you an avenger?”

“i’m sure you have lots of questions, which i would answer tomorrow. you know, fighting bad guys is tiring!”

“are you hurt?!”

“shhh y/n!” peter quickly looked to the door, incase may heard.

“may doesn’t know?!”

“no, if she found out she would definitely tell me to stop!”

“okay okay okay, i won’t tell anyone if that’s what your wondering. we are not done with this conversation though, pete!”

“yes, okay,” peter smiled slightly at you, “thanks for excepting me as spiderman.”

“it’s okay, i love,” when you spoke, peter hoped you would say those three words, he’s been dying to say for the past two months, “being friends with spiderman! so cool!”

peter wanted to cry. of course, you think you’re only friends. all he wanted to do, was kiss you and tell you how much he loved you. but he couldn’t.

“right, i’ve got to go! see you tomorrow spidey!”

“yeah, bye.” peter sulked, once you left, falling onto his bed with his head stuffed in his pillow.

how can it be so hard telling your best friend that he loves you more than a friend?

4.

the fourth time peter wanted to tell you he loved you more than a friend was, mainly due to ned.

you, peter and ned where all at ned’s house, building a lego death star. you where all eating crap, which isn’t abnormal for all of you.

“right i’ll be right back, i need the toilet.” you smiled to them both, before leaving the room.

peter and ned watched you leave, before ned quickly turned to peter as soon as you left the room.

“mate, you gotta tell her!”

peter kind of regrets telling ned how he feels about you, instead of telling well...you. whenever ned gets the chance, he reminds peter on his feelings. it’s not like peter reminds himself 24/7.

“ned, no. she’s said so many times how she views me as a friend.” peter replied, looking away from him to carry on placing lego in the correct places.

“peter...listen to me,” ned spoke, causing peter to meet his eyes before sighing slightly, “if you don’t tell her how you feel, she will soon find someone who will tell her. she will move on. i bet you, actually i know she likes you back. you can just see the love you both feel when your in the same room! it’s disgusting but in a cute way. peter, if you don’t tell her, you’ll loose the chance to.”

“don’t tell who what?” you entered, making peter and ned jump (especially peter.)

you couldn’t of heard everything could you? thoughts where running through peters mind, at what you could of heard. peter sensed that ned was looking at him, forcing him to finally say what he’s been wanting to say for months.

“i-i,” peter was shocked, he couldn’t bare this amount of stress, “i’ve got to go.”

“oh.” you spoke quietly, immediately thinking you said something which upset him. without saying a goodbye, peter left, leaving his best friend and the girl who he loved to much to say.

5.

the fifth time peter wanted to tell you he loved you more than a friend was, when he found out you had a boyfriend.

peter harshly choked on his food in the school canteen, when you said you were going out with brad. peter wanted to scream in pain, anger and sadness. he missed his chance. he wants to shout at ned for what he said two weeks ago about how he will miss his chance. well, ned was right.

“peter? are you okay?”

he wanted to say no. he wanted to say ‘i love you y/n.’ but, he just couldn’t. he sounds so dumb but he physically couldn’t speak.

“yesss, he’s fine. food went down the wrong way.” ned quickly spoke, saving peter from talking. ned felt bad for his best friend, he could see how distraught he was at your news.

“okay. oh, there’s brad! see you guys later!” you smiled at them both, letting your eyes go to peter for longer.

ever since you watched star wars those months ago, you noticed how weirdly peter has been acting around you, but you didn’t know why. was it something you did? is something going on in his life? whatever it is, it’s eating peter from the inside.

once you left, ned immediately looked at peter to see him crying into his hands. he’s never seen peter cry. not even when his uncle died. he didn’t know what to do or how to help his best friend. ned knew, that y/n was peters soulmate, but it was too late.

6.

the one time peter actually told you he loved you was, a moment peter will regret for the rest of his life.

“peter, is y/n with you?”

“no, why?”

“she hasn’t came home.”

peter’s hairs stuck up on the back of his neck, as soon as your mum said those words. he knew something was off. his spider senses were going haywire.

“i’ll call her now mrs l/n.”

“thank you peter, i hope she’s okay.”

he could sense the worry laced within her voice, “me too.”

peter quickly put his suit on, before swinging out the window. he asked his a.i, if she knew were you where, before heading to a location across town, due to karen sensing your heat signature.

a few minutes later, he arrived to a run down building. he quietly swung into a large room, where he noticed a figure sat on a chair in the middle of the room. his breath hitched, when he realised the figure was you. he ran towards you, looking side to side to see if anyone else was here.

“y/n?”

he took in the sight of you. you where clearly beaten, with fresh blood pouring across your body. peter wanted to kill whoever did this to you. you had duck tape across your lips, making your words sound more like muffles.

“oh my god, what happened?” he spoke, carefully taking of the duck tape and untying your hands behind the chair. you suddenly wrapped your arms around peters neck, letting the tears fall while he calmed you.

“c-can we go?”

“gladly.” he replied, before shooting a web to leave.

“not so fast, spidey.”

peter’s tingles went off, when he released who that’s voice belonged to. turning around, he was met with green, wicked eyes.

“greeny! how you doing!” peter spoke, before quickly telling you to hide and to stay there.

“better, now your here! i can finally ruin you. for good.” the green goblin smiled wickedly, before throwing his first punch.

meanwhile, you found a spot behind a cupboard. you were shaking so quickly. why was this happening to you? you’ve had enough stress this past week. you and brad broke up. you failed your test. you and peter haven’t been talking properly, which you didn’t know why.

you looked above the cupboard, to see peter fighting the green goblin. webs and knives where being flown across the room. you where so intrigued, with what peter was doing you didn’t see that the goblin noticed you.

“you took away my world,” the goblin spoke to peter, not loosing eye contact from you, “so i’m going to take away yours.”

peter followed the goblins eyes to you. god, no. not you.

“y/n, run!” peter screeched, before fighting the goblin away from you. but he was faster, and flew towards you, spinning you into his arms.

“goblin, you don’t want to do this. if you do this, i will fucking kill you!”

“ahh good. you know what my weakness is, spiderman? making sure you’re dead, inside and outside.” the goblin replied wickedly, before grabbing one of his spikes, looking at you before stabbing you deep in the chest.

it was as time slowed down for you. the excruciating pain you felt, once he removed the spike overflowed you. you heard peter’s screams, before you where threw onto the ground below the goblins ship.

“bye spidey, i’ll be back.” he spoke, before flying away.

peter quickly took his mask off, running desperately to you. blood was pouring out of your wound, to quickly for peter to handle. his head was spinning. tears fell from his eyes, landing softly onto your bruised neck.

“p-pete...” you spoke softly, whimpering at the pain you felt.

“shhh, it’s o-okay,” he spoke, smiling slighting, moving your soft and dirty hair out of your face, “y-y/n i need to tell you something.”

you met his eyes, crying slightly but waiting for him to continue.

“i-i i love you,” he laughed slightly, glad he finally told you, “more than a friend, i love you so much y/n l/n.”

“i-i love you too p-peter parker.”

peter smiled widely, stroking your cheek slightly before leaning in kissing your lips. it was as fireworks where exploding. the kiss tasted like salt from the tears and blood, but in was filled with pure love and adoration.

peter moved away to meet your eyes smiling slightly. but, his smile soon disappeared when he noticed your eyes were glazed.

“n-no,” peter shook you violently, “wake up! wake up! don’t you dare leave me.”

seconds passed, and you weren’t responding to peter’s desperate calls.

“y-y/n, i can’t live without you.” he whispered into your ear, letting his sobs out.

he told you he loved you. but, it was too late. you have left him, and peter hates himself for it.

“i love you, y/n.” peter spoke to the empty room.

————

a/n - wow okay, this is super sad. i think i cried twice while writing this ahah. if you have any requests comment below or dm me! thanks for reading x

[ficbitxc]

Trapped With You

Chapter 5  I  chapter 4  I  chapter 6  I  masterlist

This is a criminal minds series I’m making about falling in love with Spencer Reid.

summary: Spencer leaves on a case but stuff happens when he gets back

word count: 1998

warnings: smut

Author’s note: I think next chapters is going to be a lot more fluff stuff rather than smut :) 

     As my eyes fluttered open, my arms stretched out above me and I yawned. As I put them down, my hand fell on Spencer, who I had forgotten was here. I smile spread across my face as memories of last night replayed in my head.      Spencer layed next to me with only the thin blanket I use above my sheets. It’s been awhile since anyone has slept over in my bed. I didn’t realize I was such a blanket hog. I slowly got off of the bed, doing my best not to wake him up, before taking the remaining blanket and covering him up.      Before going to bed last night we had watched a movie in my living room, like we originally planned,  so I was wearing a big shirt with spandex already. I had an oversize pair of sweatpants I let him borrow for the night along with a t-shirt that I thought would look good on him, so he wouldn’t be too uncomfortable. I guess my blanket hogging kind of ruined that plan.      I walked to my kitchen where the two bowls layed empty on my counter. I put them back where they belonged before fishing out two mugs. I wasn’t sure how Spencer liked his coffee, so I just made it the same as mine.      By the time both cups were ready to drink, Spencer walked into the kitchen with a dazed look on his face, not noticing me. His eyes darted around my apartment in a confused manner.      “Tired?” I asked. His eyes lit up at my voice. His head turned to face me.      “I woke up and you weren’t there, so I was looking,” He laughed.       “I was just making us coffee. I wasn’t sure how you liked yours, so I just made it like mine- black with a teaspoon of sugar.” He thanked me before turning and grabbing the mug and taking a long sip from it. He stood there thinking for a second.      “I like it,” He finally said with a grin on his face.      “Yeah, you must be tired. I didn’t realize I was such a blanket hog. I’m going to have to invest in a second comforter for when you sleep over,” I laughed before realizing what I had just said. I hope that wasn’t as creepy as I thought it was. So what if I thought about making him fall in love with me in my head, but it was too early to seem so attached now. He acted like he didn’t even notice, though.      “Next time it will just have to be at my house. My bed is filled with blankets.”      “I’d like that, “I grinned. Before I could add anything else, his phone went off in my room.      “Sorry, I have to get that,” He apologized before walking back into my room and answering his phone. I didn’t want to seem creepy, so I walked to my living room to sit on the couch in there. I didn’t want to make it seem like I was listening to his conversations. Before I knew it, he walked back to find me, with a worried look on his face.      “I’m so sorry. I would love to stay longer, except I just got called into work. There’s an emergency case they need me for,” He explained.      “You’re totally fine. Go,” I said, trying to hide my disappointment, “and keep the sweatpants. They make your butt look cute,” I joked. He pecked me on the lips, before running out the door. I already missed him.      Yesterday he explained to me how often he goes out of town for cases. I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to handle it, but for Spencer, I had a feeling it was worth it. We texted almost everyday, mainly at night. Sometimes we would call, too, but it only happened once or twice. I was learning more about him when he was there than I was when he was a foot away from me. I guess on the phone there's no distractions, though.      It was only 8 pm on a Friday night. I wasn’t busy, as I had just finished my latest project on the computer. I layed on my couch with a knitted blanket wrapped around me, watching a show on my tv.  My phone buzzed and I checked it quickly, confused when I saw Spencer’s name on the screen. He was calling me.      “Hey, I just got back from Washington. I’m about to leave headquarters. I was wondering if you wanted to come to my place tonight and sleepover, like we talked about before I left.”      “Wow, you were in Washington?” I asked, temporarily ignoring the question.      “Yes, I was. Didn’t I tell you that?”      “No. I’ve never been there, you could’ve taken pictures for me.”      “How about I’ll take pictures of wherever I go next, will that make up for it?”       “That and popcorn at your place tonight,” I joked.       “OK, I’ll see you in an hour,” He responded before hanging up. He had an apartment, like me. I wasn’t surprised, since He lived alone too. I knocked on the door lightly, trying not to disturb anyone else in the hallway around his place. People knocking loudly are what annoy me the most in my complex and I didn’t want to be a hypocrite. The door swung open and a very tired looking Spencer was on the other side.      “Hi,” He said, opening the door wider, so I could get through. As I walked in, a wift of old books, coffee, and him hit me. The smell was inviting. My eyes quickly skimmed over the apartment. On one side there was a leather couch with a desk positioned next to it facing the wall. The desk had tons of paper on it, covering almost every inch, but besides that, they all looked organized. On the other side there was a huge bookshelf, every inch of it filled with books. I was positive Spencer had read them all at least once. Lastly there was a small old fashioned kitchen.      “Hi,” I replied, turning back around to face him with a grin on my face, “I love your apartment. It looks exactly like I thought it would.”      “That’s exactly what my friend Morgan said when he first saw it.”      “He’s one of your team members, right?”      “Yes! But I don’t want to talk about work right now.”      “Well, what else did you have in mind, doctor?”      “I think you know what,” He pulled me into a kiss. It was gentle, our lips barely touching. I pulled away for a second and before I knew it, his lips were back on mine. The kiss was more needy than the last one. Our tongues swirled together. He only pulled away when he needed air.      “Bedroom?” He said breathless.      “Lead the way, Spence,” I replied, grabbing his hand. He pulled me towards a closed door next to his kitchen. When he opened it, I didn’t have time to look around. As soon as I walked in, his lips met mine once again.  Before I knew it, Spencer pushed me into a bed where I took off my shirt and layed down, watching him. His shirt flew across the room, along with mine, and he crawled on top of me, kissing my neck. His hands went down my body, as if he was trying to touch as much of me as possible.      “Doctor, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. I think I need a physical,” He grinned at my shenanigans, pulling down the shorts I was wearing and pushing my underwear to the side to massage my clit.      “ I guess I’ll have to make sure everything’s working right,” He said shoving two fingers into me. I moaned and he started moving. As he used his pointer and middle finger to hit my g-spot, his thumb circled around my clit, he said, “How does that feel, Mae, with my fingers inside of you. I want to feel you cum around me, screaming my name.” I moaned in response hoping that would be enough. I was so close to my release, the only word I could think of that wasn’t a curse word was his name. That apparently didn’t cut it, though. His fingers slowed inside of me and I whined.      “I asked you a question.”      “It feels so good, doctor, please don't stop. I’m so close,” I replied, praying he would start back up again with full force. Just as I hoped he would do, he started going faster, bringing me closer and closer to my climax until I couldn’t take it anymore. My back arched as my toes curled. He rubbed me through my high as I screamed his name, as promised.      When I finished, I pulled Spencer down next to me before straddling him. I pulled down his boxers just enough for his dick to pop out. It was long and heavenly, just like I remembered it. All I wanted to do was bounce up and down on him until he came, and that’s exactly what I did.      We both groaned as I led him into me, rolling my hips to add motion. As he started to get closer, he began to meet me halfway, pounding into me as I bounced on him. His hands found my hips, giving my legs a break as I pushed my face into his shoulder.      “Cum with me, Mae,” He said.      “On- only if you scream my name,” I stuttered, barely able to finish the sentence. Pleasure built inside of me. Soon it was too much to take and for the second time that night I got my release, screaming Spencer's name. My orgasm is what pushed Spencer over the edge and he still pounded into me fast as he exploded into me.      Once we were both finished, I collapsed next to him. All I wanted to do was fall asleep, but I didn’t want to get an infection, so with my tired legs I went to the bathroom and cleaned myself up, making sure none of Spencer’s cum was left inside of me.      Once I was finished, I walked back out naked, realizing my clothes were still in his room. When I walked in he quickly got up and gave me my shorts and a shirt.      “This isn’t mine,” I said holding up the white shirt with orange lettering, forming the word cal tech.      “I know. You can wear it if you want, though,” He said shyly. I grinned, quickly pulling the shirt over my head.      “I love it,” I smiled pulling the shirt over me before giving Spencer a big hug. I could feel the vibrations of his chuckle through his chest.      “I had a feeling you would. But also I had a question,” He said, pulling away and looking at me. I looked back at him with curiosity.      “Yes?”      “Do you take birth control?” He asked. It was obvious he was nervous to ask, but I wasn’t sure why. If I was comfortable enough to have sex with him then I was definitely comfortable enough to discus the ways were weren’t going to have a child.      “Yes, I do. I would probably be freaking out right now if I didn’t.” The nervous look on his face disappeared before he led me back to his bed where his arms wrapped around my body.      “Thank god. I was scared you were going to hate me for ejaculating inside of you,” he finally said once we got comfortable. I laughed at his awkward choice of words.      “I could never hate you, Spencer. Even if you ran me over with a car,” I joked.      “Of course you couldn’t hate me. You would be dead.”      “Morbid, Spencer. Morbid.” We both laughed before settling down. There was a little bit of small talk, but not much before I began to fall asleep, still curled into Spencer’s chest. 

[capricornus-rex]

A Shadow of What You Used to Be (6)

Chapter 6: No, There Is Another | Cal Kestis x Irele Skywalker

Summary: There is another! Years after young Anakin Skywalker departed Tatooine, his mother Shmi delivers a second child—this time, a daughter. Whilst the circumstance of the girl’s birth remains unexplained, Irele Skywalker has yet to choose the true path between those laid out for her.

A/N: Sorry it took so long, you guys! ;;w;; What with the holidays and me managing what to order for my 24th birthday today (It’s the 27th where I live so we’re celebrating in a quite chill way heheh), so this is my birthday treat to you! A new chapter! 💖💖

Tags: Fem! OC, Irele Skywalker, Force-sensitive! OC, Anakin’s Younger Sister, Skywalker! OC, Darth Vader’s Secret Apprentice, Long-lost Sibling

Requesting to be tagged: @heavenly1927​

Also in AO3

Chapters: Prelude – 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 | Previous: Part 5 | Next: Part 7 | Masterlist

7 of ?

19 BBY

Irele, her stepbrother Owen, and his now-wife Beru Lars live together in the same roof. After their father had died of natural causes, they placed him next to the grave of Shmi, as they deem it appropriate; they have taken full control of the homestead, though their ways didn’t change that much.

Now thirteen years old, Irele Skywalker had grown into the spitting image of Shmi Skywallker albeit younger. Medium length hair always secured as a ponytail with thin braids woven along the tail, warm and earthy-colored eyes, and a somber yet friendly smile.

The teenager had grown into an adventurous young spirit. Perhaps, if one is to see Shmi as a girl, she would have been the exact same as her daughter. Gaining friends in Anchorhead and even as far as Mos Eisley, though she had learned to steer clear of the latter town unless the need truly arises. Taking odd jobs in either of the towns, her hustler’s nature remained intact, she did not want to depend heavily on her brother and sister-in-law for monetary support—albeit Owen strongly disagrees, but to not avail.

“You’ve been out more often than staying at home!” chided Owen, who was now perhaps in his early thirties.

“Well, I do need to work, don’t I, big brother?” she tapped his bulky arm as she strolled into the house.

She had just returned from her work in the shop that’s a hybrid of a speeder vendor and a servicing center. Whether she realizes it or not, she always finds herself tinkering with something, fixing them… like her real brother’s pastime as a child.

Irele had taken home a piece of a machine to her house, a personal project of sorts, completely unrelated to her work. She settled herself on the small worktable in her bedroom and immediately casts her lamp’s light on the working space. A metal rod put together with various, mismatching shafts and components held together by screws and sewn leather wrappings; it’s even a miracle that it worked, one way or another, it would serve better as a melee weapon than that of a Magnaguard’s electro-staff. Perhaps this staff is one of the many testaments of Irele’s skillfulness and resourcefulness, for growing up as a hustler and being exposed to machinery at an early age.

As she grew, she always donned a woven scarf made by Shmi. It has been a few years or so, and the heartache is very much fresh; every time she catches a glimpse of her headstone, with Cliegg’s next to it, the healing wound is ripped open once again—though she found comfort in confiding and speaking to both of them as if they were still alive, sitting with her and listening.

“Oh, circuitry should be here. Mom would have pointed that out too.” she mumbled to herself as she fiddled the wires with the sharp end of a thin screwdriver.

Come the hour of sunset, Irele had finished her chores after her handicraft. In the middle of her working, she felt a presence—it was sage and calming—she also heard the grunting of a single eopie. Curious, she and Beru went to the door. She was right about the eopie, carrying a single rider who held the reins with only one hand and is carrying something with the other. Irele thought the hooded rider to be her brother, as she remembered his own cloak, but the cowl revealed a slightly older man—his jaw was covered with a full, sandy-brown beard, his eyes were kind and yet she hinted the sadness in them, as if tragedy had befell him shortly before coming here.

It was Obi-Wan.

When the stranger coaxed the animal to kneel, he carefully hopped down, and supported his precious cargo with his free arm. He approaches the older girl and she willingly takes what he gave. The wide sleeve of his robe gave way to show an infant boy, perhaps a few weeks old. Beru and Irele’s eyes lit up, they spoke nothing to the stranger but they bid him with a short, polite bow.

Obi-Wan noticed the second girl, her olive skin and brown eyes gave him a memory of Anakin—the reminder sharply jabbed him into the recesses of his mind. The angry voices, the echoes of the sputtering lava, and the sorrowful howling of Anakin drummed behind his ears.

“Are you alright, sir?” Irele noticed.

“Oh, dear. I am fine, thank you,” he cleared his throat and tucked his arms inside his sleeves. “I am just not used to travel here in this place… but I will be.”

“I see.”

“My dear, may I know your name?”

“It is Irele…”

“Irele…?”

“Irele Skywalker-Lars.”

Obi-Wan slowly angled his head upwards, concealing his surprise as her name sinks into him.

Another Skywalker?

“Well, Irele,” he cleared his throat again. “May I ask a favor from you?”

“I’ll do my best to fulfill it.”

“I’m sure you can,” Obi-Wan’s gaze went to Beru carrying the baby who joined her husband, Owen, looking at the binary sunset. “Take care of him.”

“I don’t mean to sound uptight but… Who is he to me?”

“He’s your family. Your nephew. His name is Luke.”

Irele was a smart girl. She knew whose son the infant would have belonged to. A part of her wanted to ask where the father is—her brother—but perhaps it was for the best that she does not obligate the stranger to indulge her questions.

“Then I’ll do everything in my power to keep him safe.”

“I know, Irele,” Kenobi smiled, although a little sadly. “I know.”

“Sir, I’m sorry but I don’t know your name.”

“Ben… Ben Kenobi.”

Kenobi did not stay long in the premises of the homestead. He bowed to Irele, who returned the gesture, and returned to his steed. The eopie grunted as Kenobi hauled the reins to the right side, then spurred the tall quadruped to the distance, clouds of sand puffing under its hooves until the figure disappears as the twin suns set.

When Kenobi was gone from her sight, she turned to her brother and sister-in-law, along with their nephew—whom Owen would have probably called his son, given the chance. Irele was excited. She was already thinking of the things she and Luke would do—what games they’d play, what machines she’d teach him to fix, what kind of speeders could they hop on together.

He was the brother she never had.

From a certain point of view, it’s a wrong that she could right, while fulfilling her promise to Kenobi.

After Beru nursed the infant, she laid him down on their bed, Irele never left Luke’s side. She chuckled every time he would squirm, coo, and smile at her. Her heart fluttered and she fell in love with him. When Beru left the two children alone, Irele tasked herself to watch over him.

She moved her finger to his tiny hand and with his tiny, soft fingers he clasped her thumb with a grip as light as a feather. Irele’s heart melted once more.

And then she whispered as she kissed the tiniest hand that held hers, “I’ll keep you safe, Luke. I’ll always protect you.”

[loverdrew]

My Everything

You’ve always been passive, to yourself, and a little bit naive, but what unfolds when he comes in and turns your whole world upside down?

“Mom! No more fidgeting, I have everything I need.” I loudly call to my mom from the bottom of the stairs, while she continues to disregard my statement and mumble to herself, checking off things on her list.

“Well it’s not everyday I’m sending you off to college for the first time. I’m just making sure you have more than enough while you’re there.” She says with a sign coming down the stairs.

“Trust me I’m fine, I have enough to last me until I’m graduated at this point. Besides, college is only 2 hours from here.” She nervously laughs then gestures her eyes up the stairs and yells.

“Mikey! Get down here we’re leaving!” My younger brother, 10, marches down the stairs with his gaming console in his hands, immersed in the game.

“Okay but I get shotgun.” He says without looking up. I ruffled his hair and snatched his game console, running to the car.

“You wish, you can get shotgun once I’m gone.” I tease him as he laughs then jumps into the backseat. Mikey and I have always been close, even with the 8 year age gap. He’s the first boy in my life that I really truly loved, after my dad passed away when I was just about to turn 2. I don’t have many memories or feelings of him sadly, but there is pictures that show he was loving and attentive, and my mom always told me he was. But then my mom met Kyle and had Mikey. My stepdad works at the college I’ll be attending, and since it’s 2 hours away he has an apartment that he stays at during the week so he can get to work easier, and usually spends weekends with us. He is a great man who loves our family, but I’ve been very upfront with the fact that he’s not my father. I grew up strong with just my mom, which is why I believe I’m strong-minded, and worked my ass of to get into the biology program at my school. I’m 1 out of 100 that were accepted into this specific clinical lab science program and I was more than excited. Nobody was going to stand in my way of achieving my dream.

About 2 hours later we arrived in front of the huge dorm building right on the edge of campus. Next to it was a cafe and a quick bite place, with kids already eating, saying hi, and moving in. It was hustling and it made me a little frazzled, but I just took a deep breathe and opened the door to the fresh air. Mikey had finally put down his game to help us carry all these boxes and bags into the building. I was on the first floor which was nice because we didn’t have to wait for the elevator which was super packed and had a long line waiting, and I quickly found my room: 105. I opened the door to find a girl and a boy around my age unpacking the girls belongings onto her desk, a photo of them two framed already placed on the windowsill. She smiled at all 3 of us.

“Hi. You’re Y/N! I’m Mara, also in the clinical lab science program, yeah, they decided to place all of us together since there’s only 100 of us. But it’s nice to meet you! This is my boyfriend, Logan.” I shook his hand and asked, “Also clinical science major?”

He laughed, “No. I’m not as smart as this cookie. I’m a criminal justice major.”

“Impressive.” 

“So do you guys need any help?” She asked nicely. I saw all the things she still needed to unpack so I quickly denied, seeing as I don’t live too far away so I didn’t bring too much stuff. 

“No we’re fine honestly. Probably 3 or 4 more bins of things in the car.”

“No worries. We’re going to head down to go get some food on campus so if you come back and need us, I left my number on your desk. Just text me if you need me!” I glanced over and saw the blue sticky note and nodded saying thank you.

We managed to get everything in my dorm, and soon after, I was walking my mom and brother out to the car to say our goodbyes. I probably would’ve been going home soon, but it was still strange in my heart that I wouldn’t be driving back with them. 

“Now, I gave Kyle your schedule and he said to contact him for anything like even if it’s asking where a bathroom is.” I laughed and then hugged her so tight.

“It’s going to be different without you at home, but don’t worry about me.” She said sincerely. I was always worried about my mom. She did everything she could to raise two kids practically on her own, and now one is away and I know she would be freaking out every now and then. But I made a promise that nothing would get in my way of graduating and aceing my classes. It would be my gift to my mom, showing her she did right by her first born. 

I looked to my brother and bent forward to reach his height level and looked at him. I could tell he didn’t want to cry or look sad, but he was my best friend, I could see it a mile away.

“You gonna be alright Mikey?”

“I mean, I’m going into middle school. What am I going to do without my big sister to guide me?” 

“Hey, I’m going into a new school too with more people than I ever imagined. We’re going to get through it together at the same time. I got you and you got me.” We did our secret little handshake that always made my mom laugh, and hugged tightly. Before I knew it, they were driving off, leaving me, myself and I.

The Next Day

Mara and I got into our first class together, a GE English class, at around 9 am. It was a huge lecture hall fitting maybe 150 students. We decided to sit kind of close but not front row, just enough to see and hear the professor. We’re sitting and talking, looking at all of the new people in our class just to get a vibe of the class, and in comes in someone who in my opinion looked so out of place. It was a tall man with wavy dark brown hair, pouty lips, and a black t-shirt with black ripped jeans with his backpack over one shoulder. Everyone coming in looked so enthusiastic to learn, but he looked like he didn’t even want to be there. I get it it’s kind of early in the morning for an English class, but maybe he could’ve chosen another class to take instead of this one. 

Mara leaned over and whispered, “That’s Shawn Mendes.” with a smirk. 

“Why you smirking at me?” I laughed.

“He’s a good looking dude, I don’t blame you for staring.”

“He looks so out of place that’s the thing, like he doesn’t even want to be here.”

“Probably doesn’t, his daddy probably put him in this class.” She said it so nonchalant.

“What do you mean?”

“Logan knows Shawn, they’re friends with the same group of people. He’s a sophomore, and his dad is the dean of the college. From what Logan tells me Shawn is forced to be in school to keep him out of trouble.”

“What kind of trouble could he get into?” I whisper to myself, just getting lost in his smooth skin and perfectly flowing waves of hair. 

“Partying, being defiant, fighting. It seems any chance he gets to be in trouble, he takes it.” As she’s telling me this, he turns his head and catches my gaze, staring back at me with dark eyes that I could tell were not as broken as she talked him up to be. He interested me for some reason and not just because he was gorgeous, but because it seemed he had more to tell that what most people knew. A few seconds later our teacher started the class, introducing herself and going over the syllabus.

We left class at 10 am. Mara had a gap until noon but I had another lecture at 11:00 am which was my first biology lecture. I wanted to stay on campus, maybe get breakfast and walk around the huge beautiful stone buildings. I grabbed a small coffee and began my walk to the next building I have class in, when I was stopped by a deep voice next to me. 

“Don’t think I didn’t notice you talking about me with your friend in class.” I pause, and slowly turn around, dreading the face that is connected with the voice (because damn even his voice is hot too). He was seated on a stone bench writing in a black notebook, not even looking up at me.

“You talking to me?”

“Who else? I do have ears and was sitting in the row next to you, your friend may have told you I was dumb but I’m aware of my surroundings.” He finally looked up at me with the most unamused facial expression.

“So that way you’re always ready for a fight right?” I cocked my head at him.

“Unlike you who is completely oblivious.” He walked up to me, his 6′1 body towering over my 5′3 body, but I didn’t back down. 

“You don’t know anything about me.” He stood still, which scared me and looked like he was thinking of the next words he was about to say. 

“You’re Y/N, you’re a freshman that lives about 2 hours away, you’re a biology major in the clinical science program which is very impressive, you drink coffee with too much cream it’s almost white, you love reading romance novels, and you only sing in the shower even though your voice is good enough to be on The Voice. Need I go on?” I was choked up and almost scared by how much he knew about my secret life. I stepped back and started to walk away but he caught up to me to say one more sentence that stung.

“Don’t think I don’t know who your stepdad is.”

Like, reblog, comment for part 2! ♡

[ravenforce]

Begin Again Pt. 1

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x OC!Daughter x Surprise!Character

Word Count: 1827

Warning/s:  Nothing? Except this will be a multi-chapter because this part is long AF, as per usual. LOL. 

A/N: Hey loves, I’m sorry for being MIA for a long time. I bled my heart and soul in this fic, and I guess I’m not really ready to end this journey. This fic is an alternative ending to See You in A minute, meaning Stardust didn’t happen. I hope you’ll like it. If you haven’t read the whole installation, I’ll put the links below. xx

Series: See You In A Minute | I’ll Never Love Again | Stardust

Alt. Ending: Begin Again Pt. 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

It’s quiet hilarious to see a room full of super powered being clamouring to have little Asya on their arms, cooing soft words of love and affirmation to the little miracle that is your daughter but it’s also reassuring. Seeing the Avengers, literally assembled for your daughter’s birth grounds Natasha in a way that she hasn’t felt in a long time since you passed. Seeing her family around your daughter gives her the strength and confidence that she can, indeed, do this because she’s not alone, not really.

***

Raising Asya as a single mother was overwhelming for Natasha. She wasn’t ready, not really. She thinks its infinitely better if you were there waking up at the middle of the night to a wailing child after putting her down only half an hour ago.

There were so many days where she imagines you in Tony’s place, offering to take over Asya so she can catch more than a few minutes of sleep. There were so many days where she wishes it’s you that’s making your daughter laugh instead of Thor. There were so many nights after she put Asya down to sleep where she breaks down and cries because she misses you.

She misses your light, your warmth, your arms around her, your steadfast belief in her ability to be good and your constant reassurance that she’s enough. She misses your undying support that even though she can do everything she puts her mind into, she doesn’t have to because she has you. You stood by her, you fought alongside her, you loved her, you carried half of her burden and God does she wish to have you back in her arms if only the world’s a wish-granting machine.

But Natasha knew a long time ago that the world is cruel. So she allowed herself to break down at nights but come morning, Natasha resolves to be the best version of herself to be the mother Asya deserves.

***

Three

Toddlers are a handful, except Asya’s not like any other kid who yells and wails and pulls a tantrum to get what they want. No, Asya is very diplomatic. Ever since she learned her words, Asya has been a very good communicator since.

How she’s talking way too straight for a three years old was beyond all of them. Except for Tony and the pediatrician and child psychologist Bruce brought in, with Natasha’s approval of course, believe that Asya may be speaking straighter than most kids her age because of the stimulus around her. Asya lives with three adults and an eleven-year-old, no one talks to her like she’s a baby. So she doesn’t talk like one either.

At three, Asya and Natasha have developed a very close bond. Even though they live and share common spaces with the Starks, she’s closest to her mother. She loves following Nat around, and Nat doesn’t complain about it. She’s a brilliant, radiant child and Nat loves being with her because Asya, amidst not meeting you, carries on so much of you in her; not just your eyes, and it makes Nat feel like she has her best friend back.

***

Nat and Asya have established a fairly good routine by now. Every morning, Nat takes her on her morning hike around the property where they sweat and soak up some sun. Asya loves hiking with Nat, where halfway she asked her mother to give her a piggyback ride. Nat doesn’t complain, Asya practically weights anything. Asya also uses this time to ask Nat questions about anything and everything under the sun. Sometimes she makes Nat tell her stories about you and Nat talks her head off until they get back to the house.

After hiking, they would shower and then have some breakfast, mostly with the Starks. Nat's lucky that Asya’s not a picky eater. Breakfast is always a joy, the Starks loves Asya especially Morgan who treats her like a baby sister. Sometimes, Peter would swing by to catch up with Iron Dad, and his adoptive siblings.

***

After breakfast, everyone breaks off to do their stuff. Nat goes to S.H.I.E.L.D three times a week to help Deputy Director Hill on things. It has been a careful deliberation and discussion with her family before everyone agreed that not being coop up in the house is good for Nat. Tony only agreed after Nat promises that she'll do solely HQ work, no mission of any kind whatsoever.

Nat brings Asya along with her. At first, Nat was hesitant but Asya knows how to behave especially when she’s in public. She stays at her mother’s side or Auntie Maria when Nat has to step away for a minute.

After Asya’s first visit, S.H.I.E.L.D gave her an official ID that allows her to enter the premises. On her second visit, Maria gave her a tailored S.H.I.E.L.D uniform with ‘Romanova-Y/L/N' embroidered on it, which she insisted on wearing every time they go to work. Asya strutting around the HQ in her uniform gave her power over all agents on duty, Director Fury included. Nat rolls her eyes lovingly every time Asya bats her long eyelashes to get everyone to scram and procure whatever she wants.

“She is truly both yours and Y/N's daughter,” Maria commented after sitting next to Nat on the command center and watching Asya interact with the other agents.

“I’m scared that she’s this good at three,” Nat said chuckling.  

***

Maria never asks Nat to stay in the HQ all day, and in the event does she does, Maria always takes them to dinner. Nat and Maria maintained a very professional relationship between them in the past but without you and before Asya, Nat became more reclusive which worried her family. So Maria took a chance at friendship the moment she heard about Asya. Nat was surprised when Maria herself, without Nick, came down with flowers to congratulate her. They’ve become really good friends since then.

If Nat's dismissed from HQ early, Nat always brings Asya to Stardust Diner – your favorite - either before or after they go to a museums, library and/or the aquarium. Asya’s sense of wonder came from you, which only makes Nat fall in love with your little miracle more.

***

At night, a part of their nightly rituals is either Nat reading one of your books or showing her the scrapbook the team made to Asya. It’s a collection of photos with you that they’re able to unearth on their camera rolls. Most of them are hilarious, especially those photos of you goofing around with the boys. Some of them are downright sweet, like the photo of you and Wanda cuddling one movie night or the photo of you on Thor's back when you sprained your ankle after a recon mission. Looking at the photos always reminds Nat that she’s not grieving alone, the whole team, the whole family lost you too.

Sometimes it’ll be overwhelming for Nat, and Asya - bless her attentiveness and empathy - would close the scrapbook herself and cuddle her mother. On nights like this, Asya always ends up sleeping over in Nat’s room.

“It’s okay mama, I miss mom too,” Asya would murmur half asleep as she lay on Nat’s chest.

Even though it still hurts, Asya’s presence never fails to soothe her aching heart and soul. With Asya secure in her arms, Nat still sleeps with some semblance of peace.

***

Five

Life will keep moving forward whether you get on it or not but life was put on hold one morning after everyone received Thor’s request for an emergency meeting at HQ. The tension in the room is so thick, one can cut it with a plastic spoon. Tony’s pacing the room, Carol’s bouncing her leg on her seat, even Bucky’s tapping his fingers on the table.

“Relax. I’m sure it’s nothing,” Nat tried to assure the team.

“I don’t know how to relax. The last time we were all in the same room the world was ending,” Tony whispered through gritted teeth. Pepper put a hand on his shoulder and he instantly stopped moving and sighed.

“Maybe I should go check on Thor?” Carol asked as she rises from her chair, unable to sit still any longer. She’s nervous too, Tony’s right the last time they were all gathered together they lost you and Vision.

Just as Carol changed into her Captain Marvel uniform, an alarm sounded in the room; signaling Thor’s spaceship landing in the compound. Their collective hearts hammered as strong as the engines of the spacecraft.

“Finally,” Scott sighed.

***

It took a couple of more minutes before the engines died down. By the time, its entrance opened the whole team has gathered at its mouth. Director Fury and Deputy Director Hill are standing a little further, watching the whole scene.

“What’s happening Nick?” Maria asked.

Nick just shook his head. “Wait for it,” he said.

Rocket was the first to board off, he is still salty as per usual. Everyone gave him high fives. When he got to Nat and Asya, he smiled. Asya ruffled his head, everyone’s shock Rocket didn’t make a fuss.

“You’re in for a surprise, kid,” he said as he handed Asya a space rock. Asya and Morgan's growing a collection, most of them are from Carol. Asya thanked his furry little uncle before turning her attention to the rock.

Before Nat could say anything, Loki and Thor walked out of ship together. Nat tried to read the Asgardians but they’re not giving themselves away. The moment Thor set foot on dirt, there’s a cacophony of greetings and questions.

“Woah! Woah! Take a breathe people, there is no threat,” Thor said.

“If there’s no threat then why haul everyone here? Even T'Challa left Wakanda for this,” Sam said a little frustrated.

Before Thor can say anything else, everyone turned at the sound of another footstep inside the ship. When the person whose said footsteps belong to emerged, every single one of them lost their breath and their tether to earth and sanity.

***

Stepping off the spaceship was none other than you.

Taglist: @natthisback @5aftermidnight

[mysteryofren]

The First Order Will Be Finished

chapter 33 of So Happy Together

Masterlist

note: i feel like this is the worst chapter ive written but im sad the first order is going to be ending soon :( i also involved some real life events in here bc obi-wan would be a die hard blm activist. anakin is an all lives matter bastard i dont care what you say.

 The day was finally here. Phasma was leaving tomorrow afternoon, and you all had 1 last day as a whole group.You all had slept over at your grandfather's house. You decided to stay there for the summer, and so did Elaine. Your grandfather was camping with you all, but he had to work so he wouldn't be able to help at Amilyns. You woke up and tiptoed out of your room. Peeking into his room you saw he was still in bed. He usually left for work at about 9. Looking at the clock on the wall you saw it was only 7:30. You walked to his bed and gently shook him awake. 

“Good morning my dear.” he said through a yawn. 

“Can I get the keys to the truck? We might need it to help Amilyn move furniture.”

“Of course they're in the den on the table beside my chair.” you nodded and went to get the keys when he called out to you. 

“Come back.” you walked back to the bed beside him, and he grabbed your face and pulled you to him. He kissed your forehead, and smiled before laying back down.

“I love you pop pop.” you said.

“I love you too. Have fun, and i'll see you tonight.” you walked out the room and headed downstairs. You got to the den and saw Gideon sitting in his bed. He usually slept with you, but every now and then he would get up to walk around or go to his bed. He stood up once he saw you, and trotted over. You scratched him behind his ears, and grabbed the keys from the table. Gideon followed you as you walked outside. You picked up a stray ball and chucked it out towards the forest. He ran after it, and you continued walking to the shed. After you opened it you grabbed the tents you knew were in there. You walked over to your car, and placed them in the trunk. Going back you noticed Gideon had given up his ball and had begun chasing a squirrel. He ran around a tree trying to see where it had gone when he saw it he began baying at it. You walked over to him, and patted his back when he sat down and just looked up the tree. Going back to the shed you grabbed the sleeping bags that were also stored in the shed. 

 You weren't sure why he kept so many in the shed. When you camped as a kid there were only 3 of you, but he had 2 tents, and 6 sleeping bags. Maybe they just kept them around in case they lost some. After you had your car packed up you went back inside with Gideon. Your grandfather was in the kitchen eating cereal. He was in his pajamas and was scrolling through his phone.

“Have you seen all those protests happening recently?”

“Not really, I haven't been on social media lately, why what's happening?”

“Just another innocent man being murdered by police.” He held the phone up to you as you looked at the article. 

“Thats horrible.”

“Yes I know. It seems as though not much has changed from when I was your age.” he had a sad look on his face. You walk over to him, and hug him before heading upstairs.

 Once you reach your room you see Phasma and Elaine are still asleep. You wake them up, and let them know you guys are leaving in a few minutes. You go to your closet and look for something comfortable to wear. You pick out a pair of plain black leggings and a baseball t-shirt that used to belong to your dad. You walk out while Elaine, and Phas get dressed, and go downstairs to feed Gideon. He laid next to the cupboard where you kept his bowl. As you brought it down he perked up, and went to the spot where you kept his food. Before putting it down after filling it you crushed up his meds and sprinkled them over his food. You placed it down and he eagerly began eating. Grabbing his leash you walked to the den and picked up his dog bed. This was going to be Gideons first time camping with you, and you knew it would be a fun little surprise for him. You walked out of the house and put them in your car with the rest of the camping supplies.

 When you came back in, Elaine and Phasma were downstairs already. You smiled as you asked them.

“You guys ready to go?” Phasma looked sad. You knew it was because it was her last day.

“I guess,” she replied. “I just don't want today to end. When I come back everything will be different.”

“It will be, but we won't be.” Elaine said as she hugged her. You all headed out to the truck and drove to the address Amilyn had given you for her new store front. It was deeper in the city, and was way bigger than her last place. It was on the corner of a building so it was the size of 2 stores. Perfect for how many patrons she had gotten since you met her. Once you got there you parked, and saw Hux was already there. You get out, and walk in with the girls and see him on a computer with Amilyn.

“Damn Red you got here fast.” Elaine teased him.

“He's helping me pick out art to hang in the cafe. Isn't he the sweetest?”

Phasma went over and patted his back. “He sure is.” 

He smiled at her and kept looking with Amilyn. You saw some chairs stacked up by the door and went over and grabbed 3 of them and set them up by the couch. You all sat down and looked at art for about an hour before you heard a car pull up.

“Matt and Kylo must be here.” you said as you looked out the window. First it was the sound of 3 car doors closing that seemed weird. Then you saw 3 people get out of the car. Matt was the first to walk in. Then Kylo. to your dismay the last one to walk in was Ben. He smiled at you while he walked in. You smiled back knowing this was going to be the hardest day ever. 

“Hey sorry we're late we had to stop at the store and get camping gear for us.” Matt said as he walked over to Elaine and kissed her.

“You guys are camping with us? I thought it was only you going with us for that.” you said to him as he finished greeting everyone else.

“Yeah. Mom heard me and Hux talking about it and told me to take them. I don't even think they want to be here.” Kylo was giving you a smirk that had Han written all over it.

“Oh I want to be there.” He said while still looking at you. Ben looked at him with anger in his eyes. He hit Kylos shoulder. Kylo looked at him and gave him a shrug.

“Alright, well, why don't we all get started while Hux keeps looking for art. Phasma, Matt, and whichever one of you is Kylo, help me get the curtains up over the window.” they all nodded and gathered together. She looked at Ben standing alone.

“I'm sorry I don't know your name.” she reached out to him to shake his hand, and he took it.

“Im Ben Ma’am.” he shook her hand and she smiled at him. 

“Well, Ben, I have some ovens I need moved around in the kitchen. Do you think you could do that for me?” 

“Course. I just need you to tell me where you need em” He responded.

“Alright Elaine, and Rose do you guys think you can set the tables up?”

“Yeah no problem.” Elaine said, You both walked over to set them up. Luckily they stayed built during the move. All you had to do was move them to their rightful places. Sadly there weren't enough tables to make the cafe look full.it was clear she was going to need more. You walked into the kitchen where she was helping Ben move the ovens around to let her know. 

“I ordered some more yesterday. I'll just put them in whenever. Do you think you could help Ben finish this? I'm gonna see what else needs to be done.” you nodded and took her place helping Ben with moving the last oven.

“So you excited for tonight?” he asked as you both began to move the heavy object. You figured if you act civil the night will go by quick.

“Yeah. I just wish we had more time. All of us together. I'm worried about Hux going so far away.”

“He's gonna be fine. He's smart. I know Matts really scared about Elaine leaving.”

“Me too. We’ve been with each other for 4 years.”

“You were only in 8th grade when you got here?” 

“Yeah it was before Luke did away with the middle school program.”

 You guys finally got done moving the oven and went into the main area to help more. Surprisingly you guys didn't take most of the day to get everything done. Amilyn had given you a few more things to do before it was close to time for you all to go. You had gotten almost everything set up except the few tables that were missing and the art Hux had ordered. You all sat on the couches she had set up. You had ordered pizza for everyone and you all sat with each other and ate.

“So what are you all doing after this?” Amilyn asked as she bit into her slice.

“We're heading to my grandfather's house to pack up for tonight.” you answered.

“That sounds fun. I can't believe this is my last time having all 5 of you with me.”

“6 actually.” Kylo corrected.

“Oh yeah Kylo is a first order member now.” you informed Amilyn. Ben looked confused for a second before he spoke.

“Wait, he's a part of your group now? He's barely here!” 

“Well all of us like him and he didnt fuck any of us over.” Elaine said passive aggressively while she took the last bite of her pizza into her mouth. Matt hit her shoulder and looked at her. 

“Well it's true.”  Ben looked sad for a second before going back to eating. You had told Amilyn what happened between you and him a long time ago so she knew what Elaine meant. 

“So Kylo when do you go back to school?” Amilyn asked, trying to get to know the newest member.

“School starts again in august, but i'm going back in about 2 weeks.”

“Oh good, at least I have time to get to know you.” She smiled at him and he attempted to smile back, but didn’t do so well.

“Well I do have something I want to say.” Amilyn put her pizza down on the small table in front of the couches.

“I have never in my life met a group of such amazing men and women like you guys. Hux, you are so smart, and kind. You are nothing like your father, and you will always be better than him.” she said facing him. He got up from his spot next to you and walked around the table to hug her.

“Elaine. You're such an extraordinary young woman. You are so beautiful, and you're so talented. Your personality is the biggest I've seen ever in my life and I know you're going to do so many things with your life.” you looked to Elaine to see she was crying and hard. Matt held her while she cried and Amilyn continued.

“I never had kids with my husband. We never wanted any. You all are the closest thing to children I have, and I couldn't ask for a better group of kids to love.” at that point you all got up to go hug her. All of you piled onto her, with the exception of Kylo and Ben. Amilyn had started crying too at some point while you all held onto her. 

“We love you amilyn. I don't know what I'm gonna do when I can't come here whenever I want.” Elaine said through her tears. You all got up, and you ran out to the truck to get your bag. You came back inside with it, and pulled out your camera. You handed it to Ben and grabbed Kylo's hand. You dragged him back over to where Amilyn was sitting. You sat him down, next to Amilyn, and sat next to her as well. Hux sat on the other side of you between the arm of the couch and you. Matt, Phasma, and Elaine got behind the couch, and crouched down to get in closer. You wrapped your arms around Hux, and Amilyn while smiling. Once Ben took the picture he handed it over to you. 

 The image developed, and you all looked at it. This was one of the last pictures you guys would take as a group. The last time you all would sit and talk with Amilyn. You handed the small photo over to her. You explained that you wanted her to have it to remember your last day as the first order with her. The last time she would have you all in one place together. The time came. You all had to leave. Amilyn had to go home to get some more paperwork done before she could officially open. You and the girls got into the truck, and Hux got into Matts car with him and the other boys. You began the drive back to your grandfather's house, and tried not to cry. It was 4 in the afternoon. By this time tomorrow. The first order will be finished.

tags: @wumboho @pylopenpolo @duty-isnt-always-honour

[thebluemartini]

Far From the Shallow - Chapter 13 [Nessian Fic]

TITLE: Far From the Shallow SYNOPSIS: Post-ACOFAS. As part of a deal with Feyre, Nesta has agreed to live with Cassian in the Illyrian Mountains. However, shortly after her arrival, she receives the startling news that she’s pregnant from one of her one-night stands. While she tries to quickly get a grip on her life, Cassian’s determined to make her see that she’s not facing this alone.

FIC LENGTH: Multi-chapter (Total Chapter Estimate: 14)

PREVIOUS CHAPTERS: Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 / Chapter 10 / Chapter 11 / Chapter 12

TAGGING: @bohemiandreams27 @queenofillea1 @trash-for-nessian @nestaarcheronwillkillme @my-fan-side @strangeenemy @maastrash @cageddovepoetry @bybooksanddreams @lilbat90 @ritamordio19 @mastercommandercaptain @feysand-dot-acotar @archeron-queen @welcometothespeaknowworldtour @empress-ofbloodshed @there-is-warmth-in-winter @mybbyfeyre @saltydreamcollector @justlikethecheshirecat @mis-lil-red @supebowlere @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @sezkins79 @everything-that-i-love @hashtolanashoba @lord-douglas-the-third @rhysandsdarlingfeyre @hikari274 @acotar-and-tog-for-life @ellenoftroy @ink-nibs @highlordofthenightcourttrash @sesquipedalian-aficionado @tintinnabulary

*This chapter is also posted on AO3 and FF.

A/N: My deepest apologies - it took 3 weeks to post a new chapter instead of the usual 2! Sighhh. Unfortunately, that's what happens when you lose a weekend of writing time when you go out of town! So thank goodness you weren't left on a cliffhanger?

This chapter is either the longest or the second longest one, so I hope that makes up for the wait! Also, just want to say this fic is keeping its T rating :)

________________________________________________________________

CHAPTER 13: June/July

June

For the remaining weeks of May, Cassian managed to return to Velaris every night with the help of Rhys and Feyre. It was in June, however, that Cassian was unable to keep to that routine, with Rhys’ and Feyre’s lack of availability some nights, and Cassian’s schedule to meet and train with all the Illyrian camps growing more rigorous.

It was early one morning at the beginning of June when Nesta was bidding him goodbye that she told him it wasn’t necessary for him to come back each night, saying that the training with the camps had clearly been taking its toll on him and he’d needed to get sufficient rest each night instead of being awoken by Dahlia’s cries throughout. She also expressed that while she enjoyed sleeping beside him, her and Dahlia didn’t even get to really see him or spend time with him.

Reluctantly, Cassian listened to her but not being able to sleep beside Nesta plus constantly fearing he would miss significant milestones in Dahlia’s life didn’t exactly improve his sleeping habits.

But he never let a week pass without him visiting them for one full day. And on those days, he’d relish in being with Nesta as they cuddled with Dahlia, bathed her, fed her, burped her, read to her, and played with her. He of course would also flap his own wings around to amuse her.

And as he did so, Nesta would give him a look that told him there was no way he could take her flying with him.

(At least not yet.)

It was the anticipation of those special days each week that got him through his time in the mountains. On those days, he’d feel like he needed to pinch himself to ensure it wasn’t just a dream. 

But it was all real. He finally had a family to come home to and a place where he belonged.

________________________________________________________________

Nesta missed the feeling of Cassian’s hands wrapped around her each night. She’d grown so used to it when he slept beside her each night of May.

But she had noticed the weariness in his eyes. Toward the end of the month, he had started arriving at Rhys and Feyre’s estate later and later, mostly after she had put Dahlia in her crib and she herself had gone to bed. It would be an hour or so later that she would sense the mattress sink in beside her and feel the press of his lips against her temple and an arm snake around her waist.

And then before dawn, he’d be awake, ready for Rhys to winnow him away. But it was a rule between them, that no matter how “peaceful” she may have looked, he would always wake her up to say goodbye.

Before he left Velaris to return to Illyria for the first time after the birth, Cassian was always the first to get up during the night whenever Dahlia cried. But during his visits after his return to Illyria, he would often be so exhausted that sometimes he didn’t even stir at the sound of her cries.

Nesta certainly wasn’t upset about it. She knew how badly he wanted to be there for both of them. One night, when he discovered Nesta was awake to soothe Dahlia, he apologized profusely for not hearing Dahlia awake and insisted he take over in cuddling with her so Nesta could go back to sleep, but Nesta wouldn’t have it.

She felt worried about him. His talk of what was going on at the camps was very limited, but she knew he was likely overworking himself in an effort to make Illyria a safe place for them to live as a family.

So, as gently as she could, she told him it wasn’t necessary for him to visit each night, especially since they didn’t really get to spend time with each other. Plus, she didn’t mind waking in the middle of the night to calm Dahlia since her sisters helped so much with Dahlia during the day, giving Nesta plenty of time to nap and remain fairly well-rested.

It took Cassian a little while before he very reluctantly agreed to follow her wishes. But a day never went by without them sending at least one message to each other. And every week, he would come to the estate and spend a full day with them… Those days were the ones she treasured the most.

But right now, she really wished Cassian was with them for the night.

Because Dahlia, for some reason, refused to stop crying.

Her wails were especially loud, and holding and rocking her did nothing to soothe her at all. Nesta tried sitting in the rocking chair with her, reading to her, bouncing her up and down, feeding her, and walking around the room as she held her, but absolutely nothing was working.

This had never happened before. Sure, there were some nights where Dahlia cried quite a bit, but eventually she would calm down. This was the longest she’d ever cried.

And Nesta couldn’t help but feel that Cassian would know what to do. He could probably flap his wings and that would be enough for Dahlia. She always seemed to become quiet sooner whenever it was Cassian who tended to her.

But she couldn’t bother him with this. He was probably deep in sleep anyway.

Suddenly, there was a knock on her bedroom door before it swung open to reveal the sleepy faces of Elain and Feyre.

“Is everything all right?” Elain asked before yawning.

“I can’t get her to stop,” Nesta expressed helplessly as she rocked Dahlia in her arms.

“Here, let me try holding her,” Feyre said with outstretched hands.

Nesta stepped away from Feyre, as if to hold the baby away from her. It was instinctual for her to not want to lose control of a situation.

But she quickly realized what she’d done and moved back near her sister, carefully handing Dahlia to her.

Feyre cradled Dahlia in her arms and attempted to gently hush her as she glided around the room. Her and Elain watched them, and upon noticing no change in Dahlia’s cries, Elain turned to face Nesta.

“Maybe we should get Cassian?” she suggested. “She always seems to cry less when he’s around.”

It was true. When Cassian was around, not only did Nesta feel happier, but even Dahlia seemed to be more content as well.

“It’s the middle of the night,” Nesta protested. “He doesn’t need to be bothered by this.”

“But Nesta, I think he would want to be bothered by this,” Elain replied.

But he already had so much on his plate… What more could be done anyway that hadn’t already been tried?

“I don’t think - ”

“I’ll get him,” Feyre cut in as she stopped in front of Elain and handed Dahlia to her.

Before Nesta could even object, Feyre vanished, having winnowed away.

Nesta sighed. What could possibly be causing Dahlia to cry this much?

Within a matter of minutes, Feyre appeared with Cassian in tow. His eyes found Nesta’s immediately, as they always did whenever he was winnowed to the estate whenever she wasn’t sleeping. He strode toward her and grasped her hand to squeeze it in greeting. He knew she wasn’t fond of public displays of affection. To her, their relationship was something special between only them. While her sisters, Rhys, Azriel, and Amren were well-aware of their relationship, she relished in the privacy of their love.

So his kisses for her were saved for when they were alone or in front of only Dahlia.

“What’s wrong, my baby girl?” Cassian asked as he turned toward Elain and took Dahlia from her arms. First, he lifted her up with his hands beneath her underarms. Bouncing her a bit, Cassian flapped his wings as he did so. But the wing flapping did not have their usual effect. Dahlia’s cries did not stop.

Cassian stared at her in concern before bringing her to his chest, letting her head rest against his shoulder. He looked over at Nesta. 

“How long has she been crying?”

“For over an hour,” Nesta answered, and Cassian’s eyes widened.

He swayed his body back and forth as he started rubbing Dahlia’s back. But as he did so, his hand suddenly paused its motion and he looked curiously down at Dahlia. He moved over to the crib to lay her down and started pulling off her clothing.

“What are you doing?” Nesta calmly inquired out of curiosity.

Once Dahlia’s clothing was removed, he picked her up again and laid her head against his shoulder. As he looked down at her back, Nesta looked as well and gasped along with her sisters.

On her back were two long black strips of raised skin.

“I think she’s growing wings,” Cassian explained.

Nesta felt frozen in shock. “But I thought you said she wouldn’t have wings?”

“All Illyrians I know have had wings since the day they were born,” he said. “I’ve never seen this before.”

Nesta’s mind was racing. She didn’t plan for this. How was she supposed to handle this?

“So the wings are hurting her? That’s why she’s crying?”

Cassian nodded. “I think so. We need to send for Madja. She’ll have the proper oil to rub along her back to soothe her.”

“I’m on it,” Feyre piped in before vanishing.

“Poor thing,” Elain remarked.

Nesta just stared at Dahlia, feeling awful for her, knowing her baby was in pain. She wished she could take it away from her. She stepped closer to Cassian and grabbed Dahlia’s hand. “I’m sorry, my angel,” she whispered in the midst of the wailing.

It was at least ten minutes before Feyre and a very sleepy Madja appeared. The healer took Dahlia from Cassian’s arms and inspected the marks before holding her against her body and pulling out a vial from her pouch.

She started rubbing the oil from the vial on Dahlia’s back. “She is growing wings,” she confirmed, speaking loudly over Dahlia’s wailing.

“But the marks of the wings should have appeared right when she was born. Not when she’s one month old,” Cassian stated.

“I suspect they were delayed because of your fall,” Madja said with a pointed look to Nesta. “Her body must’ve been injured, and now her wings will be slower to develop.”

Worry flooded through Nesta. So there had been negative effects of her fall after all…who knew what other ways Dahlia could be affected?

Madja must’ve noticed the alarmed look on her face. “When I checked her last week, everything was fine. She is still perfectly healthy. No need to be concerned.”

Gradually, Dahlia’s cries softened. Once Madja had stopped rubbing oil onto her back, Nesta gathered her in her arms, and Cassian wrapped his arms around Nesta.

“Rub this on her back every twelve hours and she’ll be fine,” Madja instructed as she put her vial down on the nearby nightstand. “She’s just in pain from her wings growing.”

“Thank you,” Nesta whispered, trying not to hug Dahlia to tightly to her body for fear of hurting her back even more. Luckily, it seemed like she was falling asleep.

“I’ll come back in a few days to check on her,” Madja added before looking over at Feyre.

“I’ll take you back,” she said before grabbing Madja’s hand and winnowing out of the room.

Elain came up to Nesta and placed a soft kiss on Dahlia’s head, then looked up at Cassian. “Thank goodness you came,” she said before giving Nesta a pointed glance. “Goodnight,” she said before walking out of the room.

With Dahlia now sleeping soundly in her arms, Cassian removed his arms from Nesta’s body so he could easily lean down and plant a kiss on Dahlia’s head.

Nesta walked over to the crib, then lifted Dahlia up and gave her a kiss before gently laying her down to continue sleeping. “Goodnight, my angel,” she said quietly.

As soon as she turned away from the crib, Cassian captured her lips in a brief kiss. Whenever he came to visit, he always took the first opportunity when no one was around to kiss her...and it never failed to leave her breathless.

“Hello, sweetheart,” he whispered as he leaned his forehead down against hers.

“Hello,” she breathed. “Do you need to go back to Illyria tonight?” She wondered how long she would have with him.

“No, I’m cancelling everything scheduled for tomorrow to stay here with you and Dahlia,” he replied as he pulled away and grabbed her hand to lead her over to her bed.

“You didn’t need to do that,” she remarked as she followed him.

“Yes, I did. I’m in severe need of time with my favorite girls,” he said as she laid down on the bed. Cassian followed suit, laying with his chest up against her back and his arm around her waist.

“We just saw you three days ago,” Nesta pointed out.

“It’s never enough,” Cassian stated.

Nesta grabbed his hand that was wrapped around her and brought it up to her chest, hugging it and placing a kiss upon it. “I agree,” she whispered. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Feyre said you didn’t want to admit you needed me here. That it was Elain’s idea I should come.”

Nesta fought back the urge to sigh. Why did her sisters have to get involved with this?

“I figured you were sleeping. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“But being here for you and Dahlia is more important than that,” he noted seriously.

“You’ve already done so much for me,” she said. “I don’t expect you to do anything more for me.”

“But...I always want to be there for you. I would do everything for you if I could.”

“I know…but you have important duties to attend to. I don’t want to be a distraction.”

“Sweetheart, you are a welcome distraction,” he emphasized, and the whisper tickled her ear. “And if you ever need me for the slightest thing, I want you to tell me.”

Nesta released his hand and turned her body to face him. “But you need to focus on -”

“I need to focus on taking care of you and Dahlia,” he interrupted fervently.

She gazed into his hazel eyes as she placed a hand on his cheek. “You love me too much.”

“And you deserve every bit of it.”

She stroked his cheek with her thumb. The intense look he was giving her was always too much for her, making her come undone. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you,” she mumbled with a tinge of amusement.

“I know what you should do,” Cassian said. “You should contact me whenever you need help.”

Nesta sighed again. “Well, thank the gods you did come tonight, or else I may have never known what was bothering Dahlia,” she remarked, and then her voice took on a very serious tone as she thought about what it would mean now that they knew Dahlia was growing wings. “Are you jealous?”

“Jealous?”

“That...she’s Illyrian and not...of your Illyrian blood,” she explained awkwardly as she brought her hand down to his chest. “I...used to sleep with Illyrians whenever you made me mad, just to spite you,” she admitted quietly.

He pushed the stray strands of hair out of her face and behind her ears. “Well, you successfully made me jealous back then when I found out about it. But that’s all in the past now. As for Dahlia’s wings, while I’ll always wish she were truly mine, I’m excited that I’ll get to teach her how to fly.”

Nesta smiled at the visual of him teaching their little girl how to fly one day. “I’m glad she’ll at least...kinda look like you by having Illyrian wings.”

Cassian stared off dreamily to her bedroom window as he caressed her side. “It will be nice to share that with her and teach her to fly. I’ve...been afraid because I’m away so much that she won’t really need me when she has you and your sisters.”

Nesta narrowed her eyes and placed her hand on his cheek again to force him to look directly at her. “What? That is ridiculous. Of course we need you. We both need you! You’ll teach her how to defend herself, how to be a leader, to be loyal and courageous, how to love others a completely ridiculous amount!”

“Well, I just wish you’d let me know whenever you need help with her, so I can truly feel like I’m a part of her life.”

“I will!” Nesta said in a panic, not realizing that Cassian had been feeling this way. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to feel that way at all.”

“I know,” he said gently. “I just...don’t want to be like my father.”

Nesta shook her head as she began stroking his cheek. “You are nothing like your father. You know this.”

Cassian sighed. “It just hurts to be away from both of you.”

“Which is proof that you aren’t like your father,” she stated. “You haven’t discarded us. You make it a priority to see us.”

Cassian shifted his gaze back to the window, seemingly deep in thought. Nesta used her forefinger to start tracing along his jawline, causing him to close his eyes. She figured he was just relishing in her touch, but she took it as her opportunity to lighten the mood.

“Are you going to sleep without giving me my goodnight kiss?” she whispered, unamused.

At this comment, Cassian’s eyes instantly opened to look at her. They held a glint of amusement - a sign she had accomplished her goal.

“My apologies, my love. Please forgive me,” he said quietly before bringing his head down to plant a slow kiss on her lips.

“I’m sorry I didn’t contact you the minute I needed you,” she said when they pulled away from each other. “Because I knew I needed you tonight. I always feel like I need you.”

“Likewise,” he said quietly as he ran his fingers through her hair and slid the ribbon out of it that had been holding it all together. “I just wish there was a better solution for this.”

Nesta probably wondered about this everyday, but Cassian needed to be in Illyria...and Dahlia couldn’t be in Illyria. Not yet at least. “We’ll make it work,” she replied. “In time, it will be better. But for now...just hold me.”

“Gladly,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him before they drifted off to sleep. 

________________________________________________________________

July

From her place among the grass in the garden of Rhys and Feyre’s estate, Nesta stared at Dahlia, who sat just out of arm’s reach of her. Behind Dahlia was a row of bright red dahlias, and there was one single dahlia in her hand. 

“You’re sitting right in front of the flowers I planted for you! They haven’t bloomed yet, but they’ll be a fiery red...bold like you.” Elain had told her, back in March on the day Nesta found out Cassian was her mate.

Nesta had no idea at the time that the flowers were dahlias. Even though Elain claimed she never saw the vision of the baby until that day in April, Nesta was convinced she must have seen something else that led her to plant the dahlias.

Nesta smiled at the craziness of it all. The fact that Elain felt the flower was bold like her, that Dahlia was the name of Cassian’s mother, and now her daughter shared the name. She chuckled at the sight of Dahlia currently tugging at the petals of the flower in her hands, attempting to pull them off.

Nesta looked to the side and saw Feyre behind an easel, swiping her paintbrush across the canvas and glancing every few seconds up at Dahlia as she painted. Her sister may have been an excellent painter, but Nesta wasn’t sure she’d be able to adequately capture the pure curiosity on Dahlia’s face.

She wished Cassian was here to see it.

At that moment, a piece of parchment appeared in the grass beside Nesta. Eagerly, she picked it up and read it.

My love, tell me your day isn’t as miserable as mine. (But then again, if I am not there with you, is it even possible for your day to be anything but miserable?)

Nesta rolled her eyes at Cassian’s cocky message but smiled as she wrote back her reply.

You’re ridiculous.

It only took a minute for his response to appear.

Ridiculously in love with you? You bet.

Nesta couldn’t help but roll her eyes again at his words. But, even though he tells her he loves her nearly everyday, part of her still felt her heart race upon reading his message. It still bewildered her that he could love her so greatly. 

 Why is your day so miserable?

 You and Dahlia aren’t here and the Illyrians are frustrating the hell out of me. I needed to write you to help me calm down and not think about it. So, if you’re not busy feeling like you can’t live without me, then what are you up to? 

 Watching Dahlia play with a flower outside as Feyre paints her portrait. 

 Feyre is painting her? 

 Yes, as she plays with a red dahlia.

 Is Feyre going to paint you as well? 

 No.

 Well she should paint a picture of you and Dahlia together so I can hang it here in the cabin. Maybe it could help me not miss you both so much…

Nesta looked glumly at the message. It certainly was difficult being apart most of the time. She was about to write back when Elain strolled across the garden toward her and sat beside her.

“Are you talking to Cassian?” she asked.

Nesta nodded in response.

“You two have never had time together - just the two of you - have you?” Elain inquired curiously.

Ever since she admitted she’d loved him, all their time together was spent with Dahlia. But she wondered what exactly Elain was getting at.

Nesta shook her head.

“You two deserve time alone together,” she remarked. “I’d be happy to watch Dahlia if you two ever want to spend time alone together.”

“Me too,” Feyre piped in without lifting her eyes from her work.

Every waking hour, Nesta was with Dahlia. She had a hard time envisioning even leaving her for a few hours. Would she be able to survive such separation?

Plus, leaving her in her sisters’ care...while things between them were certainly better, she still had her worries that they would take control of her and her daughter’s life.

She knew it would take a while for that fear to go away... if it ever completely would.

But the thought of spending some time alone with Cassian did sound pleasant. They never truly had gone out together.

“Thank you,” Nesta stated to her sisters. “I’ll let him know.” 

 Well, I think she should do a painting of our family -  all three of us - instead. And you’d have the pleasure of holding us for hours as Feyre paints us. 

 A brilliant idea, my love. 

 Another idea was just brought up by Feyre and Elain - they have offered to watch Dahlia if you and I want to spend time alone together. 

Another brilliant idea. 

 I’m only worried about leaving Dahlia. 

 That’s understandable, but she’ll be safe with your sisters. 

 But I’ve never been apart from her. 

 Which is why you are due for a short break. We can miss her together. 

 I do want to spend time with you...since we’re usually playing with Dahlia when you do visit, we hardly get to talk.

 Among other things…

 She blushed at what she knew was a playful innuendo. 

 Indeed. 

 Then how about we spend Saturday together? I’ll come to Illyria so I can see Dahlia and then we can go do something together. 

 Nesta pressed the tip of her pen to her chin as she thought about where she would like to go. 

 Could we go to your mother’s memorial?

 Well, I had more romantic ideas in mind, but of course we can, sweetheart. 

 Nesta smiled to herself.

 We could visit the memorial first, then do whatever you had in mind. 

 Hearing this idea has completely turned around my miserable day, my love. 

________________________________________________________________

When Nesta woke up on her own Saturday morning, she was shocked.

Since Dahlia was born, she never woke up on her own. Dahlia would always wake her up, crying to either be fed or wanting to be held. She woke her up a few times throughout the night, but this morning...there was nothing.

Alarmed, she sat up and got out of the bed and headed to the crib, where she found no sign of Dahlia, but a note lying in the bed prevented her from being sent into a panic.

We’re downstairs. -C&D

The message was in Cassian’s handwriting, which surprised her since it meant he was already here. She hadn’t expected him to arrive until later, but she immediately left her room and made her way down the staircase.

It was in the living room area where she found Dahlia, lying soundly in Elain’s arms as they sat on the couch. However, Cassian wasn’t around. 

When Elain saw her, she quickly stood up and handed Dahlia over to her. “I think she’s hungry,” Elain said with a smile. “Cassian is talking with Azriel and Rhys in the study.”

Nesta nodded as she wrapped her arms tightly around Dahlia and let her lay her head on her shoulder. “I didn’t even hear Cassian come in,” she remarked softly.

“I think he wanted to let you sleep for a bit,” Elain replied. “He said Dahlia was awake when he walked in, so he brought her down to sit with her for a little while.”

“You’re sure you don’t mind watching her today?” Nesta asked.

Elain shook her head. “I don’t mind at all. I’m excited to! I love her,” she stated as rubbed Dahlia’s back in between the spots where wings had started to grow. Wings hadn’t fully formed yet, but the dark raised skin had protruded even more in the last month.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Elain said. “Here, come sit down. I’ll get you some pillows.”

Since the birth, Elain had been a huge help to her and always doted on her. She had started to learn what Nesta needed before she even asked for it, such as now, with pillows set behind her as she sat on the couch and prepared for breastfeeding.

Once she fed Dahlia, Cassian still hadn’t appeared so Nesta left Dahlia in Elain’s care as she went back upstairs to change her clothes, style her hair, and freshen up.

When she was finished, she went back down the stairs. The closer she got to the living room, she could hear multiple voices speaking and recognized Cassian’s boisterous laughter.

When she walked in the room, she found Cassian sitting on the couch with Dahlia cradled in his arms.

Every time she saw Cassian with Dahlia, it made her swoon with joy.

Cassian’s eyes found hers instantly and he smiled more brightly. She wasn’t sure if it was simply because she hadn’t seen him in a week, but his gaze felt more intense than ever. Nesta grinned back at him as she went over to him and sat beside him.

It was then that she realized that Azriel, Rhys, Feyre, and Elain were all in the room, chatting away.

Cassian was big enough that he easily was able to cradle Dahlia in one arm. His free hand found Nesta’s and squeezed it tightly in greeting. “Good morning, my love.”

“Good morning,” she whispered back as she returned the squeeze. “You didn’t wake me up when you came in,” she gently reprimanded him.

“Good. That was the intention.”

Nesta stared at him, waiting for his explanation.

“I had just gone into your room to check on you two since I knew Rhys wanted to talk this morning,” he continued. “I wanted to let you both sleep...but then I saw Dahlia was awake and there was a bad smell coming from her. So I cleaned her up and just sat with her for a little bit. I wanted you to have time to rest.”

Nesta had wished he’d awoken her when he arrived, but ultimately, he was just looking out for her as always. She gave him a soft smile.

“What did Rhys have to say?” she inquired.

“It was just an update on the Night Court, Mor’s mission, Illyria, the Court of Nightmares...nothing crazy,” Cassian answered.

Mor…

With Mor being gone for a while, Nesta had nearly forgotten about her. She hadn’t been mentioned by anyone lately, yet she was someone who was close to Cassian and disliked her.

Did Cassian even let her know that they were together? Months ago, he had told Mor he of course wasn’t the father of her child, claiming Mor was sensitive to anything possibly coming in the way of their friendship. Would Mor always be trying to convince him to leave her? Or if he hadn’t told her yet, what would that mean?

Cassian’s thumb started rubbing hers, pulling her from her thoughts. “Are you ready to go now?” he eagerly wondered. “Although...it’s going to be hard to let go of her,” he added as he looked over at Dahlia.

“I know,” Nesta said sadly, looking over at Dahlia as well.

“Well, I think it’s time for you two to get going,” Feyre piped in as she approached them and reached for Dahlia.

After a short sigh, Cassian bent down to kiss Dahlia’s head and Nesta leaned over to kiss her too. Then Cassian finally relinquished her and handed her over to Feyre.

Feyre cradled Dahlia in her arms.

“You’re sure you’re fine with taking care of her today?” Nesta asked.

“Of course,” Feyre said and started to walk away from them.

Nesta must’ve had a concerned expression on her face as she thought about leaving Dahlia in her sisters’ care from the way Cassian was now looking at her. “You don’t need to worry,” he advised quietly while rubbing the back of her hand.

She took comfort in his reassuring gesture. She really shouldn’t be worrying...she wouldn’t be right at Dahlia’s side forever...

“Oh, do you need me to winnow you to wherever you’re going?” Feyre asked as she turned her head back at them from across the room.

Cassian kept his eyes on Nesta. “Should we winnow or fly?” he whispered.

She would much rather be carried and flown by him. The last time he had done so, she was going into labor and couldn’t enjoy it. Before then, they weren’t even together when she had flown with him. But she had to toy with him as always. “That depends...are you going to pretend to fall through the sky again?”

“As long as you keep your arms around me, sweetheart, we’ll be fine,” he answered quietly with a cheeky grin. “No, we’re going to fly, Feyre,” he called out to his High Lady.

Feyre nodded, then proceeded to bobble Dahlia up and down in her arms.

“Let’s go before we change our minds about leaving Dahlia,” Cassian said as he stood up and tugged Nesta’s arm to follow him. “Goodbye, everyone,” he called out without even looking at them. They shouted it back to them as Nesta allowed Cassian to lead her out of the estate.

As soon as they walked outside and Nesta shut the door behind her, Cassian’s lips crashed against hers. The force of his kiss was so strong that Nesta’s back was pushed against the door. Cassian brought his hands to the sides of her face as he kissed her deeper.

When he pulled away from her, Nesta had a hard time finding her balance again. Probably noticing her struggle, Cassian reached out to pick her up, with one arm behind her back and one behind her knees.

“I think that was one of the longest times I’ve ever had to wait to be alone with you to kiss you,” he remarked. “It was nearly unbearable.”

Despite relishing in his kiss and despite being the one who preferred the privacy of their relationship, her mind couldn’t help but drift back to Mor, wondering if she was even aware of this. Did Cassian keep it private from her? He’d never mentioned if he’d ever told her.

“Well, maybe if you woke me up when you arrived this morning, you could’ve kissed me immediately,” she pointed out with an irritable bite to her tone.

Cassian frowned. “Sweetheart, listen, I’m sorry about this morning. I didn’t know it would be such a big deal to you,” he stated apologetically.  “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

She hated herself for getting so worked up about this. “Have you told Mor about us?” she asked quietly.

“Yes,” he answered without any hesitation. “I wrote to her and told her.”

“And how did she react?” Nesta asked, staring him in the eyes to see if they would tell her anything.

“Well, I first sent her a message about it when you weren’t speaking to me, telling her I was in love with you and that there was absolutely nothing she could say or do to change that. Then my other message said we were together, that I was the proud father of a beautiful daughter,  that I had finally found the home I was always looking for with my new family, and that I’m the happiest I’ve ever been,” he explained.

Nesta felt stupid, so incredibly stupid for letting her doubts nearly get to her. She finally brought her hands around his neck, tears surfacing in her eyes. “Do you mean that?”

“Yes, my love,” he replied with a smile. “I even told Rhys and Az the same thing this morning. So, while I don’t know if Mor’s happy about it, I do know she’s accepted it. You have nothing to worry about. I love you.”

“I know.”

“Well, I’m going to keep telling you until I know you believe it without a doubt,” he stated, squeezing her more tightly. “And even after that too so you’ll keep on believing it.”

“I love you, too,” she said. “I’m sorry for getting mad at you.”

“Well you could make it up to me…” he trailed off as he shifted his gaze to her lips.

Nesta gladly answered his request with a deep kiss.

When she pulled away, Cassian beamed and took them to the skies.  ________________________________________________________________

When they arrived on the mountain where Cassian was born hours later, the sky was cloudy.

It seemed to accurately reflect the mood in the air, however, since they remained silent after their landing. 

Once Cassian had gently put Nesta down, she strolled away from him to stand alone in front of the giant rock that served as a memorial to his mother and to her father.

Cassian hung back but still faced the stone, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes as he thought about his mother.

So much had occurred since the last time he and Nesta had visited this spot. The snap of the mating bond. Nesta kissing him for the first time. Going through the Blood Rite again. Almost losing Nesta and the baby. Proving to Nesta he loved her. The birth of the baby. Having a family…

Mother, when I was taken away from you, I thought I’d be alone my entire life. When Rhys’ mother took me in, I at least had someone to help take care of me. While I did consider them family, I still felt like I was missing something. I can’t describe it. But I assumed I would never find it because I was taken from you. We didn’t have enough time together.

When I got to know Nesta, I could see how resilient and fearless she was, and it couldn’t help but remind me of you. Her bold actions against the king of Hybern reminded me of the way you’d spat upon the boots of the Illyrian leaders. Then Nesta nearly died with me in the war and she was the only other person I had ever felt like I didn’t have enough time with.

But we were given another chance...and I almost wasted it. But you brought me back to her, mother. When she seemed so lost and alone in her pregnancy, all I saw was you in her and how you must’ve felt.

I love her, and I love her daughter just as much - your granddaughter who has been named after you.

I finally have the family that I had always been searching for, and I’ve never felt this happy.

I love you, mother. Thank you for leading me to her.

________________________________________________________________

Nesta took a deep breath as she faced the stone that had come to memorialize her father.

She could’ve asked Cassian to take her to her father’s actual memorial. The one that Feyre and Elain had established in Velaris. But that spot didn’t hold any significance for her.

This one did.

Since it was a spot made by the one who showed her it was safe to love fiercely and powerfully again.

Nesta closed her eyes.

Dahlia...thank you for your son. He may have been young when he was taken away from you, but I know you were the one who showed him how to love as he does. I hope you don’t mind that I named our daughter after you since she’s not of your bloodline, but Cassian considers her his daughter, and I feel like that would be enough for you.

Thank you.

She took another deep breath and crossed her arms across her chest.

Father…

Because of you, I never thought I’d be able to love again. Loving you had left me so hurt, so dejected, and so closed off from others. I felt I couldn’t trust anyone ever again. I felt like I was unworthy of love.

And when I saw you die, I completely fell apart. And do you know why? Because you had come to help us. After years of wishing you would do something, you finally did. In that brief moment, you gave me hope. I finally felt like I was truly seeing my father again for the first time in years.

But then you died, and I shattered. I wished you had never given me that hope. Because I was left with wondering why you decided to help then. If you loved me again. If you finally were yourself again. If we could have truly made amends.

If only we had more time.

Time with you became yet another thing this fae life robbed me of.

But I kept hating you. For all the pain you put me through. For how you must’ve treated Vassa to be a better father figure than her own father. For allowing me to have hope at the end of your life. For the fact that I was so hopeful upon seeing you after all the years you hurt me.

And for the fact that I turned out to be like you.

I shut Feyre out when you shut me out. Then after you died, I shut everyone out and lost myself...just like you did.

And then I was pregnant.

And all I could think was that I could not let myself be like you anymore. My child needed someone who would care for her always. No matter what. I did not want my child to experience what you put me through.

So in a way, I suppose I have you to thank for spurring me to pull out of my darkness…

Thank the gods Cassian was there to help.

It was because of you though that it took so long for me to accept his care and his love and to reciprocate it.

But now...now all finally feels right and the way it should be. I finally love freely again, the way I loved you when I was a little girl. And Cassian, who has seen me at my lowest point and suffered from my poor treatment of him then, is able to love me.

If he can still love me after seeing me lose myself, then...I can do it too.

Father, I will always wonder what could’ve been if you had survived the war. Since you showed up to save your daughters, I choose to hope we would have made amends.

I have been where you have been. I managed to survive in part because of you, and I feel I can finally forgive you now. I may never forget what you did, but I forgive you for it.

I love you, father.

She brushed a few stray tears off of her face. She was determined to no longer cry over him. The past was in the past. She needed to move on.

With a heavy breath, she turned around and found Cassian standing a few feet behind her, facing her. His expression seemed cautious. He tilted his head up to look at her, as if he was trying to gauge how she was feeling.

Nesta strode forward and enveloped her arms around him. As she buried her head into his chest, he tightly wound his arms around her. After placing a gentle kiss upon her temple, he rested his head on top of hers.

For the next few moments, they stood just like that, resting in the serenity of the silence and the comfort of each other’s arms.

Upon feeling drops of water fall onto their skin, Cassian looked up at the gloomy sky that was now covering them. “It looks like my plans for the day have been ruined,” he remarked.

Nesta pulled her head away from his chest. “What were you planning?”

“We were first going to head back to the cabin so I could make our dinner, then go to one of the other mountains for a romantic picnic and a romantic walk.”

The rain started falling faster now. “Don’t worry about it. Your cabin will be fine,” she said gently.

“It’s our cabin,” he corrected.

“Our cabin,” she agreed with a small smile.

Picking her up in his arms, he grinned at her. “Let’s go.”

________________________________________________________________

During the journey back to the cabin, the weather grew worse, with rolling thunder and lightning cracking across the sky as rain pelted down.

By the time Cassian landed on the platform outside their cabin, the two of them were completely drenched.

Still holding Nesta in his arms, Cassian fumbled for the door knob and turned it open. “I’m glad I don’t have to let go of you now,” he commented as the door creaked open and he stomped inside.

“Who gave you permission to act so brutish?” Nesta questioned him incredulously all while tightening her grip around his neck as he kicked the door shut behind him.

“Well I don’t hear you demanding me to put you down, sweetheart.”

Nesta couldn’t help but smile back at him as he stood in the entryway, holding her and staring at her as the water dripped off their skin and onto the floor.

There was that infamous look again. The one that left her breathless and mesmerized and pierced right through her, leaving her wondering how she could ever be on the receiving end of such a look. Yet this gaze seem to be more intense than ever before, as she could feel his overpowering love and his admiration. It was almost too much to take.

“Why do you look at me like that?” she wondered softly.

“Because I’m completely enamored and amazed by you. You thought you didn’t deserve me...but I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you,” he whispered.

She could feel the blush creep over her face, while her heart did somersaults. “I still don’t think I deserve you,” she stated honestly.

“Well, I think that is something we’ll have to forever agree to disagree on,” he remarked before leaning in to give her one more kiss. “Do you want to get changed while I make dinner?”

Nesta was quiet, deep in thought over how to make her next move.

Reaching her hands up the back of his head to tangle her fingers in his wet hair, she brought her face up to his to plant a passionate, lingering kiss upon his lips. Eagerly, he returned the kiss, which evolved into multiple kisses.

She tugged on his bottom lip with her teeth when she pulled away and moved her mouth to be up against his ear. “I’d rather you undress me,” she stated huskily.

Cassian’s breath stilled, and his mouth dropped open to speak, but Nesta quickly continued. “Cassian, if we…,” she trailed off, but she sensed he knew what she was referring to. “Does that mean I’ll have accepted the bond?”

His grip on her tightened even more. “No. You have to offer me food in order for the bond to be established,” he explained gently.

Nesta swallowed before speaking again. “I’m not...I’m not ready to accept it, but it has nothing to do with you. I - ”

“Nesta, I don’t want you to feel pressured to accept it,” he insisted. “After all you’ve been forced to go through, I don’t care if you never accept it. I only want to be loved by you.”

She reached up to caress his cheek. “And I want to be loved by you...in all ways,” she expressed as she stretched out her hand to run it ever so slowly across the edge of his wing.

“Nesta,” he moaned as he closed his eyes. Once she pulled her hand away, he opened his eyes again to find her deviously smiling. “Are you well enough to…”

“Madja told me it was fine,” she interrupted before she pressed a hungry kiss on his jaw and returned to tracing his wing with her finger.

Cassian hissed but was quick to respond to her actions. While locking his lips with hers, he managed to carry her down the hall into the bedroom that had been hers when she lived there, leaving behind a trail of water in their path.

Her crown braid is what he chose to remove first. When he planted her feet on the ground, he stood before her and shower her with open-mouthed kisses, swiping his tongue across hers as he tangled his fingers in her wet hair to leisurely untwist the braid.

Once that was finished, Nesta moved in the way she was familiar with - aggressive, fast, and forceful - as she yanked his tunic off of him and moved her hands to the waistband of his pants. This was how it went with all the other males she had slept with. She always held the control and was always desperate for the escape. So focused on the task at hand, she had subconsciously stopped returning Cassian’s kisses.

Before she could pull down his pants, Cassian abruptly halted his kisses and placed his hands on her upper arms. “Wait, sweetheart…” he murmured with his eyes closed as he leaned his forehead against hers. Nesta paused, lifting her eyes to look up at him and feeling confused as to why he was stopping her.

“Do you not want to…?” she began to hesitantly ask.

“No, no,” Cassian insisted as he opened his eyes and took heavy, deep breaths. “No, sweetheart, of course I want to. But...will you let me love you?”

“I thought that’s what we were doing,” she whispered.

He let out a slight chuckle before gazing at her tenderly. “I mean...will you let me take control?” he inquired as he rubbed his hands up and down her arms and gave her a quick peck on the lips. “And let me love you the way you deserve?”

Maybe it was because of the way his breath tickled her or maybe it was the words he just uttered, but Nesta felt her body tremble. “Yes,” she breathed.

Cassian kissed her slowly and deeply for a long moment, and then in a swift motion, twirled her body around so he was facing her back. Sweeping her hair over her shoulder, he pressed his lips to the nape of her neck as he unhurriedly set himself to the task of undoing the buttons of her dress. With every button he unbound, he bent down to put a kiss to her back, forming a trail of kisses along her spine that gave her chills.

Once all the buttons were loosed, he peeled off her dress that had been sticking to her skin due to the rain and let it fall to the ground. Now only in her undergarments, Nesta slipped off her shoes as she waited to see how much longer Cassian would prolong this.

Turning her to face him again, his lips captured hers as he picked her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist while she placed her palms against the sides of his face.

He laid her down on her back on the bed and appeared to briefly lose his tremendous patience as he tore off her undergarments so she now lay naked before him. 

Standing at the end of the bed, he kept his eyes locked on hers as he kicked off his boots and took off his pants. Then he kneeled down on the bed in between her legs and hovered over her, with his palms flat against the mattress at her sides.

As he looked into her eyes -  which she was sure reflected the burning passion she saw in his - she couldn’t help but shiver again from her anxiousness over what was about to happen...what was already happening. From his movements, from the way he kissed her and touched her, she knew this would be distinctly different from all the sex she’d had before.

He peppered her with kisses, starting at her navel, going up her chest and between her breasts until he reached her face. “I love you,” he whispered against her lips.

From then on, every touch from his rough, calloused hands struck her deeply and sent her heart thundering, matching the storm raging outside. Every whisper of sweet nothings was a delicate caress against her skin. Every kiss against her body burned her with its fervor, serving as an imprint of his adoration for her.

He made love to her slowly, wanting her to feel every ounce of his love so she could absolutely have no doubt about it. She couldn’t help but lose herself in him.

When they joined together, she could feel something within her desperately begging to be united with him completely. She was certain it was the surging power of the mating bond that resided inside her.

One day, she thought in response to the power’s pleas.

She would worry about that later. But for now, she just wanted to relish in this - this feeling that someone could love her passionately, completely, and irrevocably. 

________________________________________________________________

Afterwards, Nesta laid in bed beneath the sheets, cuddled up next to Cassian. His hulking and muscular figure surrounded her, and his arm rested across her waist. His eyes were closed but she knew he was still awake based on the fact that one of his fingers on his other hand was busy twirling a ringlet of her hair.

She took the opportunity to stare at him in an attempt to memorize him - every scar and every scratch etched by battle, every swirl of his Illyrian tattoos, every indent of his chest, and even every mark she gave him that night.

Her eyes wandered back up to his face. He seemed so peaceful and so content, which reflected her own feelings.

That evening he had loved her like no other. Just as she predicted, it was unlike anything she had experienced before. He cherished her, doing absolutely everything he could to please her.

She still had trouble believing it - the fact that this bold and loyal male who had been living for centuries could tremendously love a mere human-turned-fae who had tried so hard to shut people out and not feel a thing.

But now she felt everything.

She couldn’t stop the tears of bliss from forming in her eyes, and she couldn’t resist laying her palm flat against Cassian’s bare chest where his heart was beating for the assurance that this was all real.

His eyes blinked open at her touch. At the sight of her tears, he looked alarmed. “Nesta, did I hurt you?” he asked.

She vigorously shook her head back and forth. “No. Not at all.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she replied with a slight laugh. “It’s just that...you love me.”

Cassian beamed. He moved his hand that had been at her waist up to her face to wipe away her tears. “You’ve said you already knew this.”

He then covered her hand on his chest with his own, rubbing it with his thumb.

“I thought I did, but I didn’t completely believe it until now.”

“I’m just that good in bed, huh?” he asked in jest.

Annoyed, Nesta reached for the pillow behind her and whacked Cassian with it. It wasn’t the fact that he was a good lover. It was more than that. “However, my love for you is now in question!”

Cassian couldn’t help but laugh, but when Nesta proceeded to wrap herself in the bedsheet and get up out of the bed, he groaned. “Nesta, my love, I’m sorry. It was just a joke. Come back here,” he requested.

Picking up her clothes and undergarments that had been abandoned on the floor earlier, she wandered over to the closet. Her dress was still wet from the rain, so it wouldn’t be ideal to put back on. But she recalled that when she’d left Illyria months ago after the attack, the clothes she had here had been left behind and she doubted Cassian threw them away.

“I’m hungry. You need to make us dinner,” she demanded as she opened the closet door.

“Well, I may be feeling too exhausted after tonight’s activity,” Cassian replied. She wasn’t looking at him but she knew he was smirking.

Peering into the closet, Nesta found the dresses she expected to find...but was shocked to discover that multiple tunics hung there too, as well as armor and even a few pairs of boots on the floor.

Stepping back out of the closet to look over at him lounging on the bed, she gave him a curious look. “Have you been using this room instead of your own?”

“Yes,” he answered. “It got to be too hard going up and down the stairs where that Illyrian hurt you,” he said through clenched teeth, reigning in his rage. But his tone quickly transitioned into a softer one. “Plus, here I can always be reminded of you. And now after tonight, it’ll give me even more memories of you,” he added slyly.

Nesta sighed at his comment but still, the way he desired to be reminded of her gave her butterflies. Stepping back into the closet, she slid on her undergarment and grabbed one of his tunics and put it over herself, dropping the bedsheet. The shirt was quite large and went down to her knees, but it smelled like him and brought her comfort.

Exiting the closet, she made to leave the bedroom and Cassian groaned out of irritation again.

“Come on, I told you I was hungry,” she instructed, pausing at the doorway to turn back to him.

Cassian reluctantly got up out of the bed, not even bothering to bring a bed sheet to cover himself. “Don’t you know what the sight of you in my shirt does to me?” he growled when he reached her.

Now it was her turn to look smug. “If only you didn’t tick me off a minute ago, then perhaps I would’ve indulged you.”

“My love,” he declared, gently gripping her chin to tilt her head up toward him. “I’m sorry. My joke was stupid. I am overjoyed that you finally know how much I love you.”

“Make it up to me by cooking me dinner,” she requested.

“Anything for you, sweetheart,” he replied, then gave her a quick peck. Releasing her chin, he turned to leave the room.

“Cassian,” she hissed, stopping him in his tracks. “Put on some pants!” she demanded.

A wicked grin spread across his face. “Why? Am I too distracting for you because you find me too hard to resist like this?”

Nesta narrowed her eyes, deliberately keeping her eyes focused on his. “Am I not a proper lady who deserves a gentleman with proper manners?”

“And here I thought based on all those romance novels you read, you were more fond of brutish scoundrels,” he replied as he stood before her again and ran his finger down the side of her face to push back a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Cassian!” she said in annoyance.

With a chuckle, Cassian finally went over to the dresser where he opened a drawer to grab a pair of pants. Nesta strode out of the room and down the hall to the kitchen.

Within a few minutes, Cassian joined her and started moving about the kitchen, collecting multiple ingredients, a bowl and a pan from various cupboards and chests and setting them out on the counter.

Nesta took a seat at the table and watched him. “What are you making?” she asked. 

“Pancakes.”

“That’s your idea of a romantic dinner?” she wondered aloud with a hint of incredulity. As she leaned back in her seat, she thought back to when she was pregnant and Cassian made her pancakes whenever she craved them. But was he simply making them because it was something easy?

“Well, to me, it is. The first time I made you pancakes when you were pregnant was when I first felt things were starting to shift between us,” he explained as he mixed the ingredients in a bowl. “You seemed to finally think I was at least tolerable.” 

Nesta tried to think back to that day. “Hmm. I suppose that’s true since I started to eat with you then.”

They were silent for a moment. From her spot at the table, Nesta stared outside the kitchen window into the darkness, while listening to the sizzle of Cassian pouring the batter onto a pan over the stove and the pelting of the rain against the roof of the cabin.

Then, more thunder rumbled.

“I’m guessing we won’t be able to fly back to Velaris tonight?” she asked.

“Probably not. If you want to write a note to Feyre to winnow you back, there’s parchment in Dahlia’s...well, what would have been Dahlia’s room,” he offered.

His comment saddened her. It was another reminder of what could’ve been...what should’ve been...if things didn’t all go to hell when she was last here.

She had assumed he would’ve turned the room back into his study, but if he was calling it Dahlia’s room...Curiosity sparked her to get up from the table and leave the kitchen to go to the room.

When she reached the room, she was startled to find the room was devoid of furniture and instead, there were various parchment, pens, books, and other miscellaneous items scattered about on the floor in a corner of the room. Walking further into the room and looking at the mess on the ground, she found there were maps of the Illyrians camps and notes about each camp scrawled on parchment. Beside all this sat a stuffed animal of a horse.

The entire room was a peculiar sight that Nesta knew she would have to ask Cassian about.

Finally locating a piece of magical parchment she could use to write to Feyre, she sat on the ground and grabbed a pen.

She missed Dahlia and felt bad for being away from her for so long, but...she probably was already sleeping anyway. Did she really need to rush home, or could she wait until morning, after the storm passed, to fly home with Cassian?

She then proceeded to write notes back and forth with Feyre to find out how Dahlia was doing. Once Feyre confirmed that all was well and Dahlia was asleep, Feyre was the one who first stated that if Nesta wanted to spend the night in Illryia, she wouldn’t mind.

Nesta decided to take her up on her offer, having a feeling that Cassian may have needed more than Dahlia at that moment.

Once that was settled, she went back to the kitchen where she found Cassian sitting at the table, pouring syrup on the stack of pancakes sitting before him. She could sense his mood seemed...off to her. 

“Cassian, why isn’t your desk in your study?” she inquired.

He put down the cup of syrup. “Because it’s Dahlia’s room,” he replied. “I just like to work in there so I can remind myself of why I’m dealing with the ridiculous Illyrians. That one day I can make the dream of you and her living here with me come to pass and make this area a safer place for not just both my girls, but for all females and children.”

Nesta gave him a sad smile as she approached him from behind. He drooped his wings back as she rested her hands on his shoulders.

“That day we went to the fair and went on the sleigh ride,” he continued. “I told you about making that Dahlia’s room, and I also told you I would take care of the Illyrian issues in their treatment of females and children.”

The sleigh ride...

“Hence the stuffed horse?”

Cassian nodded. “It’s my present for Dahlia when she’s finally able to live in Illyria.”

Nesta looped her arms around his neck while standing behind him. Resting her head on his shoulder, she turned her head to plant a kiss on his cheek. “I know it’s hard, my darling. But your devotion to us and these causes is one of the reasons I love you.”

A slight smile came across his face. “I’m not sure I’ve ever heard you call me something other than ‘you fool’ before,” he commented. “‘My darling’ has a nice ring to it.”

She released him before walking around his chair to take a seat on his lap and wrap her arms around his neck again.

“My darling,” she whispered before placing a slow kiss on his lips.

Cassian groaned with pleasure as he wrapped his arms around her. “When is Feyre coming to winnow you back?”

“She’s not,” she replied. “Dahlia’s already been put to bed and Feyre offered to watch her for the night. I’d much rather spend the night here, and then you can fly me back in the morning if you are willing?”

His demeanor shifted. Suddenly he seemed much happier than he had a little while ago. “Of course, my love.”

“And then tomorrow, you can stay a little while in Velaris to play with Dahlia?”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea,” he insisted. “Are you ready to eat dinner?”

“Mmm, I think that can wait a little while longer. I have the appetite for something else,” she stated as she kissed him again, her tongue breaking past the seam of his lips. Cassian eagerly took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, causing her to moan.

“Cassian, my darling...father of my child…” she managed to say as soon as her lips pulled away.

“Mmm, I love that new nickname even more,” he said as he nudged his nose with hers.

“Will you let me love you now?” she requested. “It’s my turn to love you the way you deserve.”

There was a look of devilish amusement in his eyes.

“Anything for you, sweetheart.”

________________________________________________________________

A/N: Well, this chapter was a doozy to write! There were some aspects that I felt deserved a bit of a bookend, like Mor, their parents, etc. I felt it was also important for a Nessian sex scene to happen since Nesta previously used sex only as a means to escape. (Also, I realized that out of all my Nessian fics, I've never given them a sex scene. Only intense makeouts...sooo I had to give them one this time!)

Hope you enjoyed this one! Thanks for your support! Next chapter will be the last - an epilogue set in the future! I don't expect it to take 2 weeks to write and post, but sometimes Nesta and Cassian have minds of their own and cause me to write more than I intend to. ;)

---> EPILOGUE

[canid-slashclaw]

The Outliers - A Guild Wars Love Story

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9,  Chapters 10 and 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16 , Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20,  Chapter 21, Chapter 22

Chapter 23

"Out late again, huh?" She said in a sassy tone.

"Up late again, huh! Shouldn't you be in bed already?"

"Were you out with that charr girlfriend again? Getting some of that, rawwrrrr?"

Kaleb lost it.

“SHUT UP RACHEL! I'm sick of your nonsense!"

She screamed back. "Well it's true! You have been seeing her, haven't you?"

"It's none of your damned business who I see!"

The commotion woke up their youngest sibling, Katie. Within a few moments, she ambled down the stairs carrying her stuffed teddy bear as she looked at her big brother with a sleepy set of eyes.

"Why are you yelling?"

Kaleb ran to her and picked her up. "Sorry sweetie. Your big sister and I were just having a little discussion. Rachel - put her to bed, please."

"Why me? You were the one who woke her up by yelling at the top of your lungs," Rachel retorted.

"DO AS I SAY!" Kaleb erupted.

Forgetting that he was holding his little sister close to his mouth, the force of his shout hurt Katie's ears to the point she started bawling. The noise had finally drawn the attention of Mother Shirley who had come to investigate what all the hoopla was about.

"What in Dwayna's name is going on here??" Mother Grimwald said tersely as she strode over to comfort a wailing Katie.

"Sorry, mom. It's just Rachel being a little mouthy brat, that's all," Kaleb commented while trying to console his bawling little sister.

"At least I'm not getting pussy...cat late at night with a charr!" Rachel shot back.

Kaleb was now flushed with rage. "Don't you know when to cut it??"

Shirley looked her son in the eyes as the nature of her facial expression began to change. "Rachel - take Katie to her room right this instant! Son - that look on your face... I've seen it before."

"What are you talking about, mom?"

"He's in love with that charr. The two of them have been doing it with each other. I have proof," Rachel said as she carried Katie up to her room.

"What are Kal and the charr doing with each other?" Katie asked innocently.

"Nevermind sis. When you get older, you'll understand," her older sister said as she opened the door to her younger sister's room.

"Kaleb! Is it... is it, true? Have you actually been...?" His mother was at a loss for words.

"Mom. Rachel is trying to embarrass me, that's all."

His mother's look suddenly changed from shock to an expression of sadness mixed with rage. "No. Nooo. By Lyssa's mercy, it can't be!!"

Shirley began to bawl openly as she pointed towards her son. Within moments, the elder Grimwald, Daniel, stepped in from the back kitchen door while hobbling along using a crutch. As soon as she saw her husband, she walked over towards him, nestled her head into his chest crying then pointed towards Kaleb.

"Our son has been having relations with that female charr! I know that look on his face anywhere. It's the look of a forlorn lover, that's what it is!" His mother's bawling became even more intense.

"What's this all about? Shirley, what in the Sixs' name is going on?" Daniel said as he tried comforting his distraught wife.

"He is in love with that charr whose life he saved, that's what. Ever wonder why he packed so much meat during his picnics?"

Moments later, Rachel came down the stairs carrying a large book with a tan parchment piece of paper inserted between the pages.

"He has been screwing that charr too. Here - I have proof!"

His sister ran to the dining room table then laid out the book. She opened it to the pages displaying the explicit illustrations of charr engaged in mating positions. She also placed the letter on the table that Amalthia had written to Kaleb as well.

Both of Kaleb's parents saw the illustrations as Rachel stood back with a wide, sinister grin on her face.

"Son. Is this true?" The elder Grimwald asked with a voice of shock.

"What are you talking about?" Kaleb responded.

"Did you have carnal relations with a charr?" His mother asked pointedly. "Rachel - go to your room NOW young lady. I will discuss the nature of your possession of such a filthy book at a later time. For now, just go!"

The middle child ran back to her room but not before giving Kaleb a razzing before departing.

"Answer you mother's question, son. Did you have unholy relations?" His father asked in an even tone.

Kaleb stood his ground. "Father, there is nothing about our relationship that is unholy. She and I have been together for awhile."

"Answer the damn question, son... did you have this kind of relationship with her?" His father said as he pointed towards the graphic illustrations.

"What business is it of yours if I did?" His son spat.

His mother summoned the courage to read the love letter. When she did her expression turned to sheer horror. Father Grimwald read it as well. When he did, his face darkened with anger.

"So it's true... you are in love with this charr."

Mother Grimwald became unhinged as she ran over, grabbed the objectionable book and began tearing the pages to shreds. As she shredded the material, she began reciting every scriptural verse she was able to recall.

"This evil is to never defile our blessed house again! Such immoral filth has corrupted your soul, son. May Grenth have mercy on your misguided deeds," she said as she frantically began gathering up the hewn remnants of the book.

"Well, Grenth can just stick it where the sun don't shine! Same goes for the other Five. And yes, I am in love with Amalthia. She has a name in case you didn't comprehend that. Oh, and hail Abaddon!" Kaleb snarked as he gave a mocking ceremonial bow to a god he did not believe in.

His father had reached his breaking point. "Son. You do not blaspheme the Six and you certainly do not praise the Fallen One. What's happened to you?"

"I fell in love, dad. With someone I truly care about and who truly cares about me. Is that so hard to understand?"

"Patricia cares about you, about us, about this family!" His father shot back.

"She only cares about this land, father. You more than anyone knows this to be true."

"Why, son. Whyyy??" Shirley started to bawl again.

"So you leave a perfectly beautiful girl with a prosperous loving family to be with, to be with an animal?"

Kaleb's rage had tipped the boiling point as well. "If you weren't my dad, I would deck you for calling Amalthia that. Grow a godsdamn backbone for a change, father! You only approve of Trish because Mom is so desperate for a Grimwald to pop out some grandkids. She doesn't have any clue how much Trish's father, Milton, has been coveting this land and for how long."

"That's it, son! You've talked back to me, insulted your mother, blasphemed the Six and committed unholy relations with a beast. You Kaleb Grimwald, are no longer welcome to stay under this abode!" His father shouted in a raging tone that Kaleb had never heard before.

"So you're kicking me out onto the streets? Who’s going to run your business?"

"My brother, Bill, and his son will offer a hand. Either way, I'll manage. I just want you out of this house within the hour. Otherwise I will call the authorities," Daniel said as he gave his son a harsh glare. Kaleb sunk to the floor as a torrent of tears fell from his dark brown eyes. Everything that he ever knew and loved was collapsing all around him at once.

It took a little over an hour for Kaleb to pack his belongings. When he was finished, he wandered with only a backpack over his shoulders and his trusty weapons by his side. As he was heading down, Katie opened the door from her room then ran down the stairs to hug him.

"You have a nappie pack on. Where are you going?"

Kaleb knelt down and hugged her. "It's okay, sweetheart. Big brother has to go away for a while. Remember, no matter what happens, your big brother will always love ya."

"How long will you be gone?" His little sister asked.

"I wish I knew, Katie," Kaleb said as he leaned past her and looked at his father's stern expression.

I wish I knew.

He departed the one place he had called home his entire life. Once a promising son who was slated to take over the wagon making business, was now unemployed, destitute and - for the first time in his life - without a place to call home.

Kaleb knew the only place that was like a home away from home for him was the Jotun's Corpse tavern. Perhaps Ulfgar would offer him a place to stay. He had the skills to become a freelance bounty hunter along with plenty of local connections, so finding a way of earning income wouldn't be a problem. At least he wanted to believe that, anyways.

When he arrived at the tavern, it was already past one in the morning. By this time, the establishment would normally be closed. However, on this night, he found that the gaslights were still illuminated. As he reached for the door handle, he noticed a hand-written note that was stuck to the front window.

Kaleb:

A special someone has been waiting here for you for quite some time. Feel free to come in.

~Ulf

The bar was empty save for the massive norn who was wiping down the mahogany top. Kaleb walked forward and Ulfgar waved for him to sit down.

"Took you long enough to get here. What's with the long face, boy?"

Kaleb looked down somberly. "Long story. I got your note on the door. Who's this 'special' someone?"

The old norn looked at him, smiled then waved his hand as if gesturing for an unseen someone to come on over. "Who could be, eh? A mighty fine lass, she is."

"Kaleb?" Came the voice from behind the young man.

He recognized it immediately.

"Amalthia??"

When he turned around to look, he saw her standing there, head bowed, her somber amber eyes looking straight at him. As she approached, her facial expression changed to a much more joyous one as she opened her arms wide.

"Kaleb! Get over here, you!" The two lovers embraced and Kaleb's heart was filled with a measure of happiness once more.

"I can't believe you waited all this time hoping that I'd be here. Not that I'm complaining, mind you," he said to her as they held hands.

Amalthia's ears twitched while squeezing his hand hard. "I would have slept in the pouring rain next to a mucking stall if it meant you would eventually be there. Kaleb, there's so much I have to tell you..."

"It's okay, Ama. I'm in the same boat too."

Ulfgar smiled at both of them then offered each a stein of mead. "Yer two outliers if I ever saw 'em. These are on the house. Now tell your good friend Ulf what happened, lad."

Amalthia looked at him and was curious as well. "At the risk of sounding like a drunken parrot, what did happen?"

Kaleb lowered his head as he stared into his mug. "My parents found out about our relationship - no thanks to my backstabbing little twit-of-a sister. Anyway, I got into a heated argument with my folks and wound up getting kicked outta the house."

"Oh no!" Amalthia said as she tried to console him.

"That's terrible news, lad." Ulfgar shook his head.

"So now, I have no place to go."

"Lad. You'll always have a place here when things get tough. So long as you can earn yer keep, there's a room upstairs waitin' for ya. Both of ya, in fact"

"Ulfgar, that is too kind of you. Thank you!" She said as she reached over to give the old norn a hug.

"It's never a problem helping friends. Your sire and I go way back and the least I could do is help his only cub. Besides, I would very much like to get to know you better as you won over one of the best humans I've ever had the honor of serving drinks to."

"Thank you, Ulf. It means a lot. Kaleb - I wanted to tell you that my sire, um... father holds no ill feelings towards you. What he did was just an act to convince mother we were no good to her anymore. From now on, she should no longer pose a threat to you or anyone. For all intents and purposes, she's out of our lives for good," Amalthia explained.

"Thank you, Ulfgar." Kaleb, then, looked at Amalthia and said. "None taken. I probably would have done the same thing had I been in his paw pads. You are lucky to have a father who protects you the way he does."

Kaleb gazed into her amber eyes then kissed her on the forehead. Amalthia's ears twitched in gratitude.

"I'm assuming you are no longer working for your family anymore. If that's the case then how do you plan on making an income?" She asked.

A sudden flash of inspiration came into Kaleb's mind. "Amalthia. How about you and I go into the business of freelance bounty hunting together? We worked really well as a team before and with your skills and mine paired together, we could make a killing! Quite literally, I might add too."

She thought about it for a moment before smiling and nodding to him in agreement. "Funny thing. I was thinking along similar lines as well. But what shall we call our little enterprise?"

Ulfgar chimed in. "Um. Outliers sounds like a fitting name if ya ask me."

Both Kaleb and Amalthia looked at each other and smiled widely.

"Outliers!"

"You are an inspiration, old friend!" Kaleb said as he clapped the norn on the shoulder.

Amalthia had a flash of insight of her own as well. "We need a theme to go with our brand. Hey! I could talk to Ariyana. She does all kinds of custom outfits. I think I could talk her into designing us some."

"Good call. But we are going to need a catchy logo of some sort. Oie! My brain is exhausted from all of the excitement," Kaleb said as he tried to think of some interesting concepts.

"There's been plenty of excitement for both of us, Kal. Ulf - I'm still employed by my sire so I've got plenty of coin if you need a down payment for rent," Amalthia said as she pulled a leather coin purse from her pocket.

"Thank you, lass. But you and Kaleb have to get your house in order first. I'll quote you a very fair price once the two of you get things squared. Now get some rest, both you pups. Tomorrow is a brighter day."

Ulfgar showed Kaleb and Amalthia the upstairs room that was available. Once they were settled into their new surroundings, the pair mutually decided that donning garments of any kind was far too burdensome. Thus, they stripped down until both were lying on the large bed, completely bereft of clothing.

Amalthia nestled her head against Kaleb's chest as she purred in contentment. "My lower horns aren't hurting you, are they?"

"Nah. You're fine, honey," he said as he began stroking her long, golden mane.

"I'm just glad to be here with you." Her voice became a soft purr as she pushed her muzzle into the crook of his neck.

Resting his hand between her larger upper horns and stroking her lovely mane, something dawned on him.

"You know what?"

"What?"

"This will be our first night in bed together. I sure hope you have some birth control," Kaleb said in a tongue-in-cheek tone.

"Oh shut your hole, you! We are birth control together. Besides, it's not like my plumbing works down there anyway," Amalthia said as Kaleb rolled on top of her.

"Crap! I forgot about that. I'm so sorry."

She just smiled then slid her raspy tongue down his mouth for a moment before withdrawing. "I'm not. Now stop talking and make love to me, you big not-so-hairy beast!"

That night two souls from two different worlds shared their love together, for the first time, under the same roof.

(All chapters have been posted to AO3. Chapter 23 is posted here.)

[timelordthirteen]

In All Things 13/?

Mr. Gold/BelleFrench, Explicit (eventually)

Summary: A Rumbelle arranged marriage AU.

Chapter Summary: Gold, Belle, and Bae travel to Avonlea, but the homecoming is not what Belle had hoped for.

Notes: So I’m a lying liar who lies. I wanted this chapter to be so much longer, and then I ended up spending much of my day cleaning the dumpster that my house had become. There’s a whole other part of this chapter that unfortunately will have to wait until tomorrow. So sorry. For the 31 Days prompt #15: friends.

[AO3]

Previous: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12]

Belle sat back on the bed in her old room and sighed.

The trip from Thornhill to Avonlea seemed to take less time than the reverse trip had just six weeks ago. The landscape was blanketed in snow of varying thickness, and passing through the forest in the daytime, with the sunlight glittered off the ice on the tree branches, was quite enjoyable. She hadn’t had the chance to appreciate all the beauty during the first trip, as much of it had passed in near darkness, and she was far too busy feeling awkward and terrified at the same time. The sun setting as they approached Avonlea, bathing it in an orange and pink glow, took her breath away, and for a moment she felt a pang of homesickness.

Baeden had fallen asleep for the last hour, having been roused earlier than usual that morning. He was still tired from the excitement of his birthday besides, and when he slumped over against Gold’s arm, Belle couldn’t hold back a smile. Neither could Gold, and they spoke softly for the rest of the journey, when they spoke at all. She watched the two of them whenever she had the chance, admiring the closeness they seemed to share, and wishing that her own father was not so distant to her now.

They arrived just before six, and Belle immediately went to see her father, anxious to settle her mind about his letter. Except the steward, a man named Milton that Belle had never quite trusted or been comfortable around, stopped her. He told her that Maurice was resting, not to be disturbed. The news upset Belle, and she began to insist that she be allowed to see him, until Gold intervened.

He suggested they all wait until morning when clearer, less hungry and tired heads might prevail. She had to admit that he was right, but now that she was sitting in her old room, she found she was still irritated about the whole thing. No one would have kept her from her father before now, she was sure of it, and it raised her suspicions even more.

Exhaling, she pushed to her feet and walked over to the fireplace to add two more logs. She liked the room warmer to help her fall asleep, and right now she felt too nervous to even try, even as the heat from the fire felt searing through her nightgown.

There was a knock at the door as she was pacing in front of the hearth, and she snatched her robe off her bed on the way to answer it. For a brief second she hoped that maybe her father had heard she had arrived and came to see her, but as she crossed the robe over her chest and tied the ribbon at her waist, she knew that was probably unlikely. For all she knew Milton had imprisoned her father in his room like a villain in one of her novels.

Belle opened the door a crack, her eyes going wide in surprise when she saw who had come to her door so late.

“Cameron.” Belle stepped back, opening the door further.

“Belle,” Gold said softly, glancing down the corridor briefly to see if anyone else was up and about, before meeting her gaze. “My apologies in coming to see you so late, but you were quite upset earlier, and -”

He paused and fiddled with his cane, noticing suddenly that she was in her nightdress and robe, which were both a soft blue fabric edged in ivory lace. They crossed over her chest, low, leaving a large swath of creamy skin exposed, broken only by her hair laying over her right shoulder in a thick braid wound with a yellow ribbon at the end.

“And?”

Her eyebrows lifted at him, and he shook himself. “And, uh, I wanted to see if you were feeling better.”

She gave him a small smile and stepped back into her room, folding her arms around her middle. “Not really.”

Gold hesitated for a moment, and then followed her into the room, letting the door ease closed behind him. He had to remind himself there was nothing untoward about them being in the same bedroom together, in fact most would have assumed them to be sharing space since they were married. They’d accepted separate bedrooms when they arrived, which wasn’t out of the norm, but if anyone knew where he was now, they wouldn’t think anything of it. Except every evening he said goodnight to her in the hallway, and watched her walk the opposite direction to her room.

“What’s bothering you?” he asked finally.

“I’ve never had anyone keep me from seeing my father,” she said. “Ever. Not even when the King came here and they were in council together.”

Gold was taken aback and gave her a wide-eyed look.

“I was eight,” she continued, starting to smile, “and I barged in unannounced, and Papa scooped me up, and asked me what I needed. Just like that. He completely ignored the King, to talk to me first.”

He chuckled at that, and shook his head. “I’m sure King George was furious.”

She shrugged and turned away from him, holding out her hands towards the fire. “I didn’t care. But now it’s - it’s all so different. We haven’t been that close since...”

My mother died, she didn’t say, but Gold knew what she’d omitted. The young Lady Collette had died just after her thirtieth birthday. Belle would have been ten or eleven at the time, much older than Baeden when his mother had left, old enough to have tinged all her memories with grief. He swallowed hard and squeezed the handle of his cane.

“Your mother.”

She nodded and looked back at him over her shoulder. “Y-yes. That was a turning point for us, for everything around here, really.”

Gold stepped closer, coming up just behind her as the urge rose up in him to reach out and try to comfort her, but he wasn’t sure she would want that from him.

Belle sniffed loudly and looked down at her hands as she fiddled with the end of the ribbon around her waist. “Thank you,” she said quietly.

“For what?”

“For letting me come here to check on things. For understanding why I needed to.” Then she turned around and put her hands over his where they were folded on the handle of his cane. “And for looking in on me. For caring.”

Her face tipped up to look at him, and he was startled by how near she was, how it would take nothing at all to touch his lips to hers. The thought was so shocking that he stepped away, needing to put space between them before he grossly overstepped and did something they would both regret.

“It’s - it’s no matter.” He quickly turned and walked to the door, stopping with his hand on the wood. “If you like,” he started, “in the morning I could speak to the steward. Milton?” Belle nodded and bit her lip. “I could tell him I have business to discuss with Lord Maurice, I doubt very much that he would refuse me.”

She smiled and shook her head, taking a few steps forward and tugging on her robe where it crossed low over her chest. “Thank you, again, but no. If he refuses me again in the morning, then I will deal with it.”

Gold’s head tilted. “We will deal with it. You’re not alone in this, yes?”

A strange expression came over her face for a moment, and then she nodded. “Yes.”

He pulled open the door, and stood in it as he looked back at her. “Goodnight, Belle.”

“Goodnight.”

After Gold left, Belle laid there for some time, watching the flames of the fire flicker and dance.

Her mind refused to calm enough to let her fall asleep, switching between worrying for her father and worrying for Gold. Whatever was wrong with him, whatever had upset Bae, was still there. It was the reason he needed his cane sometimes, and while there was nothing wrong with that, it bothered her that she didn’t know what ailed him, or if it was the reason he seemed to want a wife who wasn’t a wife.

There was also the fact that she was home, but not. Somehow, in the short time she had left, she’d become a stranger here, in the one place that had always been comfortable. Her mother’s passing had been a turning point, not only in her life, but in her relationship with her father. They remained close from the outside, but the truth of it was that neither of them could quite get passed it. It was the elephant in the room every day, looking at each other all the while knowing someone was missing.It was as though time was marked in two halves, before and after.

She was an outsider in Thornhill and a stranger in Avonlea, the woman who belonged nowhere.

Her face felt tense and she rolled onto her back, pressing her hands to her eyes as they began to burn with tears. She took a deep breath, and stared up at the canopy over her bed. The funny thing was, that of the two places she was suspended between, the one she seemed to want to go back to the most was Thornhill. It had beautiful gardens and walking paths, her book room, and it had - friends.

Belle wiped at her eyes, her fingers coming away wet. She wasn’t sure when it happened, but in the last few weeks she’d gone from feeling all alone to feeling like she was becoming part of something, that she was welcomed by Jefferson and Bae, and even Gold, into the little family they had made. Maybe her life was being further divided into before she was married, and after, where the after seemed strangely brighter and more hopeful.

[the--sad--hatter]

Frozen Heart (Prologue)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU, DEADPOOL & X-MEN

WARNINGS - ALL OF THEM, SMUT, VIOLENCE ANGST

DESCRIPTION -  

When Nick Fury finally catches Ex-Shield Agent ‘Black Ice’, The Thief with a Frozen Heart he puts her where she belongs. With The Avengers.

You’re not happy about that decision but you’re the only one who’s kicking up a fuss.

Natasha and Clint are happy to have you back in their lives, Sam Wilson is a big fan, Tony Stark just wants you to keep your hands off his stuff and Steve finds out that not only do you have a connection but you were there for him when nobody else was. 

Bucky Barnes is one of the few people who doesn’t have a connection with you but he’d really really like one. 

                                         CHAPTER ONE

THE KALAHARI DESERT

The Kalahari desert was in Southern Africa so it was quite obviously hot. In fact it was 930 thousands square km of arid, sandy, scorching hell. Or at least it was supposed to be. Nick Fury used his one good eye to take in the perplexing scene in front of him. Smack bang in the middle of the sand dunes was a military style base which according to their intel belonged to a black arms dealer and known human trafficker known as "The Scorpion".

Bad guys having secret bases was hardly unusual however, what was unusual was the fact that this base was covered in at least three inches of ice. Mercenaries who worked for The Scorpion were scattered around, guns raised and alarm on their faces. Fury paid them little attention, they weren't a threat seeing as they were frozen solid like creepy gun wielding statues.

His attention was focused on the battered remains of a tent in the very center of the icy carnage. The tent was barely erect, the front panel frozen in place and giving him a clear view inside to the young woman lying on the frozen ground, two of his medical personnel checking her for signs of life.

They found what they were looking for and related the news to Fury with a sharp nod of affirmation. She was alive. Fury had known she would eventually make a mistake and now she had, he finally had her.

6 HOURS EARLIER

Your head felt full and heavy, your eyes burned and the air around you was so hot you were suffocating. You forced yourself to drag your eyes open, taking in the scene around you. Sand? Tents? You knew what these things were but why they were here was confusing and you couldn’t seem to get your brain to work properly.

Something moved and you looked up, seeing it was a person coming towards you. You knew them, your brain was telling you they were familiar. Your brain was also screaming something else at you, something important but you couldn’t grasp it.

There was a deep gnawing sense in your gut, not a good feeling. You shifted in the seat and tried to move and that was when you realized you couldn’t.

You couldn’t move.

You felt something on your wrists, binding them together. Raw panic started to claw its way through you and you reacted instinctively, reaching down deep inside yourself for the part of you that you’d locked away. You needed to be free, bad things happened when you couldn’t move.

You remembered the blood and you didn’t want to remember that.

You let the primal power inside yourself out and froze the ropes binding you but it all went horribly wrong. You couldn’t reign it in, you couldn’t control it. The last thing you remembered was screaming.

9 DAYS LATER – Avengers Compound, Up-state New York

You had a habit of waking up in unfamiliar places so you weren't too worried at first. It wasn't until you registered the steady beeping of a heart monitor that your brow furrowed in confusion. Your eyes flew open and you tried to sit up, immediately regretting it as the cuffs on either wrist snapped against the metal bed-frame, pulling you back down with a wince of pain.

Panic rippled through you but then a deep chuckle to your right had you turning to face your company, and a growl of displeasure ripped out of your throat as soon as you did. Still, the sight of him calmed your fears and you knew, even if you were cuffed you were safe.

"What the fuck Clint?" You spat out, your voice hoarse from disuse, your hands automatically twisting in the cuffs.

The blonde man sitting on a chair next to the hospital bed you were currently cuffed to smirked at you, unfolding himself ungracefully from the uncomfortable looking plastic chair and leaning over to offer you a cup of water.

You glared at him as he raised it to your lips, tilting it to allow the cool liquid to pour down your throat. The sensation was most welcome, you had no idea how you’d become so thirsty.

Then it hit you, you had no idea how you’d ended up in hospital at all. A quick glance around the room offered no answers. It looked like a standard, albeit well-funded hospital room. The blinds were closed, there were no glass panels on the door to look out of and you and Clint were the only ones in the room.

Panic and uncertainty started to claw at your gut and you looked up at Clint, your expression blank and controlled but he saw the fear and vulnerability in your eyes. He could always see right through you.

“What happened to me?” To anyone else it would have sounded like a demand but Clint knew you well enough to see the plea on your face.

You pulled at the cuffs again and huffed in annoyance. Clint smirked and tapped his ear to let you know he could hear you, you didn’t have to sign.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” He asked you gently.

You frowned, trying to pull up your memories and Clint watched the emotions flit across your face, confusion, pain and then horror.

“Motherfucker.” You whispered.

“That about sums it up... Miss Daniels this time are we?” A deep voice spoke and the door sprung open as Nick Fury walked into the room.

Your expression hardened instantly and Clint's turned apologetic. Fury noted that, the way he noted everything. He glared down at you, trying to intimidate you.

“You froze a 2 mile radius in the desert, killing everyone there instantly. When we found you, you were nearly dead yourself. Lucky for you, we patched you back up and covered up your little mess.” Fury stated.

There was a long pause as he waited for you to say something but you didn’t.

“What, you’re not even going to say thank you?” Fury enquired sarcastically.

“Saying thank you could be taken as an admission of guilt, so no.” You rebutted.

Fury turned to look at Clint who sighed heavily.

“It’s over, you were found in the middle of the scene. We know you’re responsible.” Clint told you.

“We even have a good idea as to why you did it.” Fury informed you and he didn’t miss the way your jaw clenched in response.

“One of the bodies we found on site was First Lieutenant Charles Braxton, your commanding officer. The man who trained you for the past two years and fast tracked you to his special black ops task force. Decorated war hero, husband, father and best friend to Senator Jim Grant. Oh and he was also the criminal known as The Scorpion.” Fury said.

You took in a deep shuddering breath before you spoke, keeping your voice as even as possible.

“If you already know what happened, why bother asking me? What’s your play here Fury?”

“I’m asking because I don’t know what happened but I’ll tell you my theory. You found out Braxton was The Scorpion and he drugged you, kidnapped you and took you to his base. He probably thought he could turn you to his side. He had no idea who you really were though because you would never trust anybody enough to tell them what you were capable of. So when you woke up tied to a chair in the middle of the desert, having just been betrayed and attacked by your supposed mentor and friend you reacting instinctively and tried to freeze the ropes binding you enough to snap them and free yourself. You didn’t account for the drugs in your system or the adrenaline or the emotional turmoil you were facing though because you have always hidden your abilities away rather than learn to use them and instead of freeing yourself you lost control and created a cold snap in the Kalahari that killed everyone around you. How’d I do Miss Daniels?”

“That’s not a theory, that’s exactly what happened and you know it. But you’ve got a second theory lined up where I’m the villain right? Either you rescued a powerful asset or you took down a threat.” You laughed but there was no humour in it.

You knew what was going on. Fury had told you this day was coming and deep down you had always known he was right.

“You’re damn right I do. You killed a lot of people and even if I wanted to I can’t ignore that. I can bring you into the fold and protect you or I can lock you up and throw away the key. Those are the only two choices here. Now I made no secret about wanting you to re-join Shield but last time I asked you told me in no uncertain terms where I could shove that offer. I’m hoping you’ll be smarter this time now that SHIELD isn’t around. So what’s it going to be Miss Daniels, are you finally ready to become an Avenger or are you going to spend the rest of your life in a 4×4 cell?” Fury asked.

You whistled lowly.

“Alright Shaft, I’ll admit it. I was not expecting that.” You said, eyebrows practically disappearing into your hairline.

It was worded like a choice but all three of you knew it wasn’t, not really.

Clint knew you were stubborn and liked to dig your heels in but even you wouldn’t choose life imprisonment just to be spiteful. Fury knew it as well. You looked up at Clint and he braced himself for the anger about to be hurled his way but it never came.

You wanted to be angry at him but you knew it wasn’t fair. He hadn’t done this to you, you had done it to yourself. You had locked your abilities away, pretending you were nothing more than human and it had led to you losing control.

Now you had backed yourself into a corner and the only way out was through Fury, whether it be as an Avenger or a prisoner.

“IF I agree to this ridiculous proposal, I want my record wiped. My real record.” You told him.

“You’re in an awfully precarious position to be making demands. You don’t want to go to prison, If I don’t agree to your terms are you really going to refuse to join The Avengers?” Fury asked you.

You met his eyes and he saw it, you didn’t believe he was going to pass up the opportunity to recruit you but if he called your bluff there was no way you would back down.

He couldn’t comprehend why you were so stubborn but he didn’t have to, he just had to accept it. He nodded his assent and you and Clint both let out a small sigh of relief.

“Welcome to Shield Miss Daniels, Agent Barton here will explain the situation to you regarding the events in the Kalahari Desert and as soon as you’re medically cleared you’ll be introduced to the team who will oversee your official training.” Fury spoke in a crisp and authoritative tone before making his way to the door.

He had gotten what he came for, he wasn’t going to stick around any longer but you spoke up before he could make his exit.

“20 bucks says you regret this before we even reach the end of the month.” You called challengingly.

“I’ll take that bet.” He said without even looking back, letting the door close behind him.

Clint shook his head at you.

“It’s impressive how well he can glare at you with just one eye. Wonder how scary he was when he had both.” You snarked.

“It’s the one eye that makes the glare so effective. And you’ve been unconscious for nine days. The end of the month is tomorrow.” He dead-panned.

You swore and tried to sit up, forgetting about the cuffs and swore again as you were yanked back down. Clint made a strangled noise as he tried not to laugh. He reached over and pushed down on the cuffs, they were pressure locked and didn’t need a key so they popped open quickly and you held your wrists to your chest and rubbed them.

“Nine days?” You asked, confused.

“You were extremely dehydrated and had mild hypothermia. Add that to the drugs Braxton used on you and well… you weren’t in great shape when we found you.” He explained.

There was an edge to his voice, he was holding something back and whatever it was was bothering him. You reached your hand out, palm to the ceiling and waited. He sighed and put his hand in yours

“You get yourself into some stupid shit kid, and she’s not happy about it.” He whispered with an apologetic look on his face.

You shot up in the bed, alarm on your face.

“No no no no no, tell me she doesn’t know!” You begged.

Clint swallowed thickly.

“Fury said he’d tell her when you woke up.” Clint said, getting off the bed and backing into the corner of the room furthest from the door.

You went pale as you glanced franticly around the room like a deer caught in a trap but there was nowhere to hide and you knew it.

“Traitor!” you hissed at Clint as the door swung open and you swallowed heavily before turning to face your fear.

Clint winced under his breath at the expression on Natasha’s face and you felt like you’d been kicked in the chest as you laid eyes on her for the first time in years.

There was nothing you could say in that moment, no way to ask for forgiveness so you just reached out you hand to her, silently begging for something you didn’t deserve. She didn’t hesitate to take it, squeezing your hand reassuringly. And then continuing to squeeze.

“Ow, ow, ow. UNCLE!” You shrieked.

“As soon as your better, we’re playing 60 seconds.” Natasha said with a wicked glint in her eye.

“If you’re so mad, why are you here?” You sighed.

“I came to check on Clint. I would have come to check on you as well but we both know you can take care of yourself can’t you? You don’t need me.” She responded cooly.

Clint could feel the rising tension and he didn’t want a repeat of last time you and Natasha had been in the same room.

“You need rest, you start training as soon as you’re upright and we still need to take an official statement regarding the situation in the Kalahari.” He spoke over whatever biting remark you’d been about to shoot off at Natasha.

Natasha turned her annoyed look onto him, though it was legions softer than what she had directed at you.

“I have to convince the team to actually take her. Just because it’s what Fury wants, doesn’t mean Cap or Tony will be on board.��� Natasha said, releasing your hand.

“What are you going to tell them about me?” You asked her.

“For once, the truth.” She informed you.

Clint nodded at her and she turned to leave while you studiously kept your face turned away from the door. Neither you or Natasha could see each other expressions but from his position at your bedside he could see it all, the brief moment of regret and longing you both had before you schooled your expressions expressions.

Clint sighed heavily and wondered what he’d done in a past life that was so bad he deserved to be connected to two such stubborn people. It was only when the door clicked closed you allowed yourself to drop the anger and look at him.

“How bad is it going to be?” You asked nervously and Clint chuckled at your reaction.

“They’re going to eat you alive.” He reassured you.

Tomorrow he would break the news to you that officially Agent Daniels had died in the Kalahari. But that could damn well wait because Clint had missed you, only to get you back in a near death state.  

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

“Stark, didn’t you get hit by that ice thief a few years ago?” Natasha asked as she walked into the meeting room.

“Four years ago, she broke into the tower and stole an Iron Suit Prototype and left an ice sculpture replica in it’s place.” Tony said with a sour look on his face.

“Yeah, but didn’t she put the suit back the next day? It was on the news.” Sam pointed out.

“Not the point Wilson. She did it to piss me off.” Tony snapped.

“I think it worked.” Wanda coughed.

“Why are you bringing up old wounds Romanov? Nobody’s seen Black Ice for years.” Tony asked exasperatedly.

“Nobody ever saw her, that’s why they called her Black Ice...” Sam added.

“She’s in your medbay.” Natasha said with a smirk.

There was silence.

“The new recruit Fury dropped on my doorstep is the thief who taunted me? And I saved her life?” Tony shrieked.

“Cho saved her life, you just paid Cho to do it.” Sam sniggered, sending Wanda devolving into a fit of giggles.

“Well I’m going to be the one to kill her!” Tony insisted.

“Barton might be a little upset if you do that.” Natasha informed him.

Tony squinted suspiciously at her.

“Why?” Steve was the one to ask.

“Black Ice is a former Shield Agent and yes Tony... Fury, Barton and I knew it was her who stole your suit. She dropped off the radar three years ago, faked her own death after an incident in Moscow. Clint just got her back, he might be annoyed if you go and kill her.”

“You knew?!” Tony was incensed.

“You’re friends with Black Ice?”Wanda asked excitedly.

“Who do you think gave her the name?” Natasha asked her.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

The next morning you were all but tossed out of the hospital bed by Clint who flung a change of clothes at you and told you the bad news.

You didn’t have any close friends, actually any friends at all to mourn your “death” but you still allowed yourself a moment of sadness for the life you were leaving behind. You were shaken out of your moment by a knock on the door and you looked up to see a Natasha stood in front of you.

There was no readable emotion on her face, no indication as to whether she was here to hug you or to kill you. Though that question was quickly answered as with an almost unnoticeable flick of her wrist Natasha sent a knife flying straight at your face.

You whipped your head back just in time, though you were still a fraction of a second too slow and the blade left a slight nick across your left cheek before embedding itself in the wall behind where your head had previously been.

“Reaction time is a little slow but not terrible. You haven't been keeping up with your training. Keep the knife, consider it gift” Natasha told you with a smirk.

You glared at Natasha with wide eyes as she turned and sauntered away.

“Oh and welcome back to the land of the living сестренка.” Natasha called over her shoulder.

You scowled as you signed the medical discharge papers, almost signing Daniels out of habit. It would take some getting used to being a Barton again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So this is going to be my next fic series after Name Calling IF you guys like it. If not, I can scrap it and work on something else. It’s kinda up to you lovely people, and I won’t be offended if this isn’t a hit. 

[kayteewritessteve]

If Only You Knew - 4/19

Description: You arrive home one day to find a wedding invite for two of your best friends from high school. You knew this day was going to come eventually, but even with that said, you weren’t prepared to return home. At least not after 7 years of avoiding Buckhannon, West Virginia. Or rather, avoiding him; your ex-best friend and the secret love of your life. But maybe it was finally time to face your past, to face him, and everything else that happened on that horrible night. Who would have knew that your prom would end up being a total disaster, and the very last night you’d spend in Buckhannon for the next 7 years? you certainly didn’t. That’s for sure.

Catch up HERE.

Word Count: 3,740 ish.

Pairing: Modern!Steve Rogers x Reader.

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Violence. Drinking. Bad and offensive jokes. Possible triggering thoughts, feelings and emotions. Moments of bullying and harsh name calling. Lots of curse words. And a very sloooow burn.

A/N: I sadly don’t own any of these characters. And no beta reader, so I do proudly own all the errors and this story, so there’s that.

July 2018 - Present.

“Isn’t that Mr. Y/L/N’s truck?” Steve asked from the driver's seat of his patrol car, as it sat parked on the side of the road. It was Bucky and Steve's turn to patrol the streets, and as it took about 30 minutes to get anywhere in town, they always went together. Saved unnecessary wasted fuel if they both needed to attend a call, and it made the longer stretches between calls way less boring.

“You mean Y/N’s dads truck?” Bucky smirked, still looking forward out the front windshield. Steve turned to glare at him, noticing Bucky’s smirk instantly drop from his face, as if it had been smacked off. Only to then be replaced by a prominent frown, as his eyes narrowed slightly. “Okay, I admit, that was low. But yes, that is Mr. Y/L/N’s truck, and it just blew that stop sign,” he pointed at it.

Steve's eyes snapped ahead as the truck was just exiting the intersection. “Shit,” he sighed then pulled away from the curb and flicked on his lights. He was just going to pull him over and give him a warning, then let him go on his way, no ticket needed. The truck instantly pulled over to the side and the engine cut. Steve pulled up behind it and put the squad car in park. “I got this one, Barnes,” he said then he opened his door.

“Mhmm. I know. Just like every other time we’ve pulled him over,” he smirked.

“Oh yeah, just like how you always handle Nat’s aunt?” He countered as he climbed out.

“That’s different, Nat’s aunt will be my family in 6 days. You know, because Nat and I are actually getting married,” he retorted excitedly, but then his eyes widened and he slapped a hand over his mouth.

“Wow. Low blow, jerk,” Steve shook his head then slammed the door.

“Fuck, you know I didn’t mean it like that!” Bucky yelled through the open passenger window at him. But he just ignored him and walked along the side of the truck, tapping the back of it as he did. And just before he reached the window he started to speak, “How’s it going today, Mr—“ but the words abruptly caught in his throat, as he came face to face with who was actually driving the truck. Y/N.

He froze, and the look on her face probably mirrored his perfectly. It was one of shock, discomfort and …relief? They both just stayed silent, for what felt like hours but was probably only mere seconds, then she broke the looming silence. “Ah, is there a problem, Officer?”

And hearing her voice for the first time in 7 years made an involuntary smile break out across his face. Well that, mixed with actually seeing her right in front of him, in the flesh. She was just as beautiful as he remembered, if not more. And he lost himself slightly in just looking over her face, taking in every detail like he’d never see her again after this exact moment, so he had to memorize it, entirely. Much like he did the first time he ever saw her..

September 2009 - 9 years ago.

It was the first day of grade 11, Steve had spend the whole summer travelling Europe with his adoptive parents and his two brothers. An older brother Tony, and a younger brother Peter.

When Steve was just a baby his father was killed while away overseas, on a deployment, leaving just his mother and him on their own. Which from the little bits he could remember wasn’t so bad, Sarah was an amazing woman, and mother, but whenever Steve did have troubles remembering her, Maria would fill in the blanks for him. As Maria and Sarah had been best friends since childhood, Sarah had named them Steves Godparents when he was born. So when Sarah got ill, then sadly passed away, Maria and Howard stepped up to take Steve in. And then a few short months later the adoption was finalized, and Steve became a Stark. Though they did make his original last name, being Rogers, into a second middle name. Just so he would never forget where he came from, or the beautiful woman who had brought him into this world, and had mothered him in the beginning.

Tony was the only son Howard and Maria had parented themselves, he was a year older then Steve but they had always gotten along like brothers. They’d fight, and razz each other, but when push came to shove they always had each others backs. No one messed with the Stark boys, that’s for sure.

And the same went for Peter, the baby of the family. He was also adopted by Howard and Maria, when his parents had died and there were no living relatives to take him. He was 4 years younger then Steve, so they—Steve and Tony—always looked out for him. Just like they would had he been their flesh and blood brother. But who were they kidding, blood meant nothing to them. They were all true brothers in their own eyes, and a little thing like DNA wasn’t going to tell them otherwise.

So Steve had loved the summer away with his family, with his brothers, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t also super glad to be back home with his friends. Back to his normal life.

He’d arrived home two days before classes started, but the jet leg had kicked his ass, so he’d spend those two days relaxing in bed and catching up on sleep, knowing that he’d get to catch up with all his friends at school.

Over the summer he wasn’t able to talk to them often, either due to the time differences or the ridiculous roaming charges. But they all kept in touch here and there, though the conversations were short and sweet. His friends knew this was what his family did every summer, and they were all used to the limited contact during his trips.

So here he was, meeting Bucky and Sam in the student parking lot, on the first day of grade 11. The guys shared a couple warm welcome home hugs, then headed into the building to start making their way towards their lockers. Chatting about Steves trip the whole way in.

Soon enough they were in the school, walking the familiar hallways, just like every year before. Stopping to quickly chat and catch up with the odd friends, and losing Sam along the way to some cute girl, saying he’d find them later. So eventually Steve and Buck made it to right around the corner from their lockers.

But then a girl called out Steves name, and he turned around to greet her, Bucky however just continued walking.

“I’ll catch up in a second,” Steve said to his best friend who nodded in response. Bucky never liked Kiara, and Nat never liked him talking to her, so he avoided her like the plague.

After chatting quickly about what they both did over the summer, they said their goodbyes then Steve turned around to continue his mission at hand. However, just as he rounded the corner he slammed right into a smaller form. A way smaller form.

“Oof,” she said as she tumbled back and landed on her butt. Dropping her things all over the hallway, Steves stuff joining hers on the floor.

“Oh fuck,” Steve quickly crouched down to start cleaning up their scattered things, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t even see you.”

“It’s okay. I’m pretty used to that,” she said as she shifted from sitting on her butt to sitting on her folded knees. They both began to collect up their own belongings and then Steve noticed one of his things next to her. He shifted forward to grab it but just as he did, she shifted forwards as well and they straight up head butted each other.

“Fuck,” he groaned.

“Shit,” she mumbled as she pulled back and rubbed her forehead, “I’m sorry, that was my bad this time. I totally bobbed when you weaved. Not a good combo.” She laughed, and the sound caused him to pause and finally look up at her, he hadn’t really paid much attention to her up until this point. She sat there, on her knees, rubbing her forehead where their noggins had collided, before she lowered her hand to finish collecting her things. And oh god, she was beautiful, his eyes roamed her face as if he was trying to etch it into his mind. He honestly wasn’t sure if he had ever seen anyone as pretty as her before, or maybe he had, but there was just something about this girl. Something in the air around her, he couldn’t quite place it, but he had this instant urge to want to know her, to know everything about her. Though it felt more like a need, he needed to know everything about her. About this adorable creature with the massive goose—

“Oh god,” he gasped as he just stared at the goose egg rapidly forming on her head.

“What?” She asked confused, “Is there something on me face?” She brought her hand back up, as if touching her face would magically answer her question.

He shook his head then flinched slightly. “Not exactly,” he said just as her fingers made contact with the massive bump on her head.

“Ouch. Shit,” she hissed as she pulled her hand away from her head like it had burned her. Her eyes flicked up and locked onto his, “oh god, is it bad?”

He scrunched up his nose, “Not too bad.”

“Great. Just freaking great. My first day in a new school and I head butt a cute guy hard enough to cause a massive goose egg,” she huffed then grumbled, “That’s just my luck.”

She may not have noticed what she said, but he sure did. Clearly she had been checking him out as well. “Cute, huh?” He raised a questioning brow at her.

Which caused hers to furrow, “What?”

“You said you head butted a cute guy,” He looked around the hallway, eagerly. “So, where is he?”

He meant it as a joke to lighten the mood, but the blank stare she gave him in return left him with the impression that she didn’t find it funny. And then his thoughts were instantly confirmed when her cheeks turned bright red, and she quickly looked away. “Okay, well, now that that’s over, I’m ah, I’m gonna go and,” she grabbed her stuff and abruptly stood up, “hide myself in a broom closet, or something.”

Steve grabbed his things then stood up as well. And once he reached his full height she looked up at him and her eyes widened. “Jesus christ, you’re a fucking giant,” she mumbled then looked down at her feet.

“I get called tall a lot, but I can’t say I’ve ever been called a ‘fucking giant’ before,” he laughed, “And fyi, a broom closet won’t help with your goose egg, you should really put some ice on that. It will help bring down the swelling.”

“Oh,” she looked back up at him, “the broom closet wasn’t for the,” she paused then waved a hand dismissively, “You know what, not important. Ice, ice is important.” She nodded then looked around. As if she was trying to figure out where she was. Or where she was suppose to go.

He smirked then leaned down just a bit to whisper, “You can get ice from the office.”

“Right. The office,” she nodded.

“You do know where the office is, right?”

“Of course,” she said confidently. “I’ll ah, see you around,” she turned on her heel and began to walk away. In the polar opposite direction of the office.

“Wrong way,” he shouted at her, causing her to freeze then slowly turn around to face him.

“Right, it’s that way,” she pointed in the direction behind him, opposite from where she was just heading.

“That it is,” he nodded, biting the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from laughing. “You sure you don’t need me to walk you there?” He asked, amusedly.

“No, no,” she shook her head, “I’m all set now, thanks though.” She navy saluted him then walked passed him. He turned once she had and just watched her quickly walk away, before shaking his head and releasing the laugh he’d been holding in, as he headed to meet Bucky at their side by side lockers.

“Buck, who’s the new girl?” He asked as he approached his friend.

“Who?” Bucky asked as he looked around, “where?”

“No, she isn’t here. I’m just curious if you know who the new girl in school is?”

Bucky looked confused, “You mean Y/N?”

“Is that her name, Y/N?”

“I mean, I think she’s the only new girl in school. So, I guess?” He shrugged.

They both put their bags away then grabbed the stuff they’d need for their first block. As they headed down the hall towards their class, Steves mind kept drifting back to the new girl, and before he could stop himself the words left his mouth, “so, how did you meet, Y/N?”

“You really took a shine to her, hey?” Bucky smirked.

Steve scoffed, “No,” then shrugged, “I’m just curious, is all. We don’t get many new students here.”

“Right,” Bucky dragged the word out. Clearly not buying any of Steves shit. “Wanda introduced us all to her at the beginning of summer break. I guess they met when Mrs. Maximoff went to go welcome them to town. Her dad bought the old Lloyd house and Renchie’s.”

“What? Really? I didn’t even know Renchie’s was up for sale.”

“Yeah, I guess Donald wanted to retire,” Bucky shrugged, “But anyway, Y/N’s chill. She hung out with us all summer and everyone adores her. I swear Nat spends more time with her now then with me.” He paused then deadpanned, “No seriously, it’s becoming a problem for me.”

Steve laughed and shook his head, “If you need me to run interference, just ask.”

Buck turned to him, eyes wide, “Would you actually?”

“For you?” He slung his arm over Bucky’s shoulders, “I’d play interference with a cute girl, any day,” he laughed.

“See, I know you’d taken a shine to her!” Bucky laughed as well.

“No comment,” Steve shrugged.

July 2018 - Present.

“Steve?” She asked hesitantly, one brow raised.

“Ah, yeah, sorry,” he shook his head. “I ah, I pulled you over because you actually ran the stop sign back there,” he pointed to the sign.

“What?” She whipped her head around and looked out the window at where he was pointing. “There’s a stop sign there now? Since when?”

“Ah, about 5 years now,” he pressed his lips together to prevent himself from laughing. “Have you been drinking at all today, Y/N?”

She glared up at him for a moment, probably trying to figure out if he was fucking with her or not, then she burst out laughing. “Oh come on, you think I can’t tell when you’re messing with me. Even after 7 years, I can still read your ass like a damn book,” she rolled her eyes.

He chuckled and shook his head, “It was an honest question, you did just run a blatantly obvious stop sign. I mean, there isn’t even any trees around it. And there is nothing hiding it, in any way.”

She scrunched up her nose, “Ah, yeah, about that,” she trailed off as a blush took over her face.

His smile faded, “Please tell me you weren’t texting and driving,” he paused for effect, “again.”

“I mean, I wasn’t texting, exactly,” she gestured both hands around as she talked. Which was always a sign she had done something wrong or was nervous about something. “It was more like reading and driving. There was no texting on my part.”

He sighed and shook his head again, “Y/N, you know you aren’t allowed to ‘read’ and drive. And furthermore, you were a horrible driver as a teen, and I can almost bet you haven’t gotten much better over the years. You need less distractions while driving, not more.”

“Hey!” She scolded, “I wasn’t that bad!” He just stared at her. “Okay, I wasn’t that good either. But I have gotten better over the years. I swear.” He just continued to stared at her, raising a brow as he did. She sighed, “fine, that’s a lie. I still suck at driving.” She hung her head, though he knew she was just playing it up.

“The first step to fixing a problem is admitting you have one.”

She looked back up at him, “Are you gonna haul me off to jail?”

He snorted, “you’re still just as dramatic as always, I see.” He shook his head, “And no, I’m not going to ‘haul you off to jail’. You ran a stop sign, Y/N. The worst I can do to you is scold you and hand you a ticket.”

“Scold me?” She cringed, “can I opt for jail time instead? Is that a thing I can do? Because a Steve Stark scolding is no joke.”

He rolled his eyes, “No, you can’t ‘opt’ for jail time instead.”

“So then are you going to give me a ticket?” She asked hesitantly.

“I probably should,” he paused, “but we both know that won’t stop you from texting and driving—“

“Reading,” she corrected. And he glared at her in warning. “Sorry. Sorry,” she quietly said as she raised her hands in surrender.

“As I was saying,” he shook his head for like the millionth time, “No, I’m not going to give you a ticket. But this is your only warning. If I ever pull you over for ‘reading’ and driving again, I’ll give you the most expensive ticket I can.”

“Shit,” she mumbled then nodded, “but okay, that’s fair.”

“Now, put your phone away and focus on the road, Y/N,” he scolded, somewhat playfully.

And she navy saluted him in return, “Yes sir!”

Causing him to sigh then pinch the bridge of his nose, “okay, you’re free to go.”

“Thank you, Officer,” she smiled.

“Don’t mention it.” And then he just stood there for a moment, not entirely ready to walk away from her just yet. Especially not after 7 years.

“Ah, Steve?” She asked slowly.

“Yeah?” He replied.

“I kinda can’t leave with you standing there. You know, me, bad driver,” she gestured to herself. “You, unsuspecting cop,” she gestured to him. “Probably not a good mix. What with my luck, I’d probably hit you. And I’m pretty sure I’d have to be given a ticket for that,” she laughed. Then cringed.

“Oh, right!” He quickly said then took a few large steps back, “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t mention it,” she smirked then put the truck in drive and pulled away slowly. He watched as she did, then when she was half a block away he sighed and headed back to his patrol car. He quickly climbed in and shut the door, “way to tell me Y/N was back in town, jerk.”

“Like hell I was going to tell you that. Shit, the last time I even so much as said her name, you ignored me for an entire day.” Bucky shook his head, vehemently, “Nope, fuck that. I refused to spend the whole day stuck in a car with you, refusing to say a damn word to me.”

“You knew it was her in the truck, didn’t you?” He raised a brow at his best friend.

Bucky just stared at him for a moment, “I mean, I didn’t know for sure. But I knew there was a small chance that it might be her, yes,” he nodded slowly. And Steve just remained silent, staring at him. “Okay, maybe it was a little bigger then a ‘small chance’. Probably more like a solid hunch,” Buck corrected.

But Steve just continued to stay quiet, watching him. “Alright, fine. You got me. I was positive it was her, but only because her dad would have never ran that stop sign. So that was a pretty huge giveaway,” he shrugged, “I’m surprised you didn’t figure that out as well. Your losing your touch, pal.”

“You’re such a jerk,” Steve shook his head then put the patrol car in drive.

“You can call me whatever pet names you want, at least that means you’re talking to me.” Bucky chuckled then quickly turned more serious, “so wait, seeing her after all this time, how you feeling about that?”

Steve thought it over for a couple seconds, trying to figure out exactly how he felt about seeing her, but then he just answered honestly, “I still feel the same way about her that I did 7 years ago.”

Bucky smiled, “so you gonna finally tell her?”

Steve scrunched up his nose, “Now’s not really a good time.”

Bucky loudly groaned, “That’s what you always say.”

“But this time I actually mean it. She just got back into town, Buck. I don’t even know how long she is staying and I have no clue if she is seeing someone or not.”

“Okay, the first excuse is valid, you can keep that one. But let me set the record straight on the other two. One, her ticket is open ended, so she can stay as long as she wants, or leave whenever she wants. Two, she is single. Like RSVP’d by herself, single. And a little red birdie told me she hasn’t even had a serious relationship in years.”

“Oh,” Steve paused, “so she’s had serious relationships before?”

“Are you kidding me?” Bucky gaped at him, “out of everything I just said, that’s what you took away from it?”

“Just answer the question, Barnes.”

“Honestly,” he sighed, “I don’t think so. Or at least I have never heard of any. But I also can’t understand how a girl that pretty could stay single her whole damn life. That just boggles my mind.” He shook his head, “I mean, I know why she stayed single in high school, but you weren’t in Boston scaring all the guys away.” He paused then raised a brow, “Or were you?”

Steve huffed, “no, and I only scared away the fuckboys and the assholes.”

“So, basically every guy in our school then?” Bucky laughed.

Steve just shrugged as they continued down the road, “yeah. Basically.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

@hopefulmoonobject @harlequinash @itsstillnotwhatyouthink @tessvillegas @boxofteenageideas @wangdeasang @giggleberts @casuallydarktiger @theonelittleone @agentbadbitch @ratwrites @starrystellars @bandsandanimefreak @rockyroadthepastryarchy @lovvliies @cuffski @icesoccerer @alwaysright4 @lilsthethrills @imdiegohargreeves @zombiepotterfour @mu-mu-rs @ledandan1244 @straightforwardly

[ahmeddocuments]

Day 1, (Cairo/Amman/Paris), 25-9-2019

Written by Ahmed Hassan, edited and corrected by Aya Ashraf

Well, this is finally it. The moment I've always procrastinated to do. I'm finally documenting my biggest trip to Europe to date!

The trip started from September, 2019 from France passing by Italy, Vatican, Austria, Prague and ending in Germany. The trip raised my travel achievements from 5 cities, 4 countries to 15 cities, 8 countries in a total of 13 months, with a total number of 33 traveling days.

When I'm documenting my trip, I'm documenting personal experience, personal observations and opinions. it also might reflect my passion for Architecture, Art and beauty of how I see things, and how it reflects from my perspective. And to be honest, I've thought a lot about ideas of how I can show my trip well, and blogging somehow was a winner. Blogging sounds like a classic idea of how things should be documented, and I'm someone who's always nostalgic and feels classic about the present and the future.

Well, Where do I start. it's 9:00 PM on a Tuesday, On 24th of September 2019. i just had a haircut and heading home after one of the strangest days of my life. it's the day i had an emotional roller coaster; I'm getting ready to travel a the biggest planned trip ever, just a few hours after knowing I've took a hit in my career. Or at least that’s what i thought at the time. but after a few hours of Anxiety, I've decided to let all of such thoughts stop, I'm going to travel! I'm literally a few hours away from doing my most favorite thing in the whole world! I started double checking my belongings; Passport and tickets, Cash money, devices and luggage.

My plane takes off at 6:45 AM. I made sure i had arrived earlier for documentation. I finished everything around 3 hours before the flight and I'm sitting there at the airport bored and bored waiting for the time to pass, still having glimpses of anxiety from time to time.

The moment has come, I hear the call for my flight. Unlike the past year, that wasn't a direct gate to the plane, but it's a shuttle bus taking us directly to the plane near the runway. It’s my first time on Royal Jordanian airlines, I gotta say the plane looks decently vintage from outside, I liked the color pattern of the fleet because you don’t see darker planes every day. as below, the plane appeared mostly black with mixed colors of blood red and gold yellow.

i picked royal Jordanian because of two factors; their cheap economy tickets (Cairo/Amman/Paris and Berlin/Amman/Cairo for 6900 L.E), their luggage policy  (two 23 Kg pieces + the carry on). But I gotta say, you get what you pay for. As someone who’s been on Air France's Joon last year, all I could do is compare the seats’ quality, friendliness level of the staff and the quality of food. The three weren’t that bad at all on the RJ planes, but yeah, that was something to mention.

So the plane is prepared to take off, flight attendants are giving us instructions about safety and emergency, then we’re taxiing the runway. When people usually describe their point of life when they feel absolutely free of any restrictions, I always think about the moment when the plane is on the runway accelerating, leaving anything behind -even if temporary- and rising above the clouds, above anything that previously caused any kind of insecurity. It’s me feeling superior and feeling good about myself.

That was my first time passing over Sinai by plane, I’ve seen a lot of beautiful scenery, like the gulf of Suez and the Suez canal and its ships lining up one after the other.

Also scenes of Sinai mountains, that looks small but great from above as well

I’m now entering the airspace of Jordan. And I got to see the river of Jordan and glimpses of the dead sea.

Just a few minutes after capturing the above picture, we were approaching Queen Aliaa International Airport in Amman for my transit. The plane was landing, and that was my first time to set foot in another Arab country. My transit was almost two hours long so it wasn’t that big of a deal, the airport was extremely clean with very fast free WiFi service, I didn’t feel bothered at all by the waiting time cause I kept exploring the airport. I wanted to buy a snack or a small meal but it was weird because of my zero understanding about the Jordanian currency in terms of what's reasonable and what's expensive. Minutes passed fast and I boarded the plane for a longer flight to Paris.

Passing over the occupied lands of Palestine gave me a special scene I won't forget, a glimpse of the dome rock mosque and the Aqsa mosque. It’s that glowing gold item in the middle of the below picture.

The flight to Paris lasted about 6 hours, passing over the Mediterranean, central Europe and then finally entering the French air field. It was a matter of time before hearing the announcement that we’re reaching Charles de Gaulle Airport, I’m landing again in my favorite city in the world, one year after saying goodbye back in 2018. Took my luggage and stayed in the airport for a few hours till Islem, the Algerian friend I’m staying with, finishes his work at 6 PM, so that left me in the airport for about 4 full hours.

First things first, I had to top up my French mobile line package so that I can communicate during my trip, then had a McDonalds sandwich at the airport. Also had time for a drink till I received a call from Islem to move to Aulnay-sous-Bois. Meeting Islem became one of Paris’s landmarks for me now, he’s a very nice Algerian, 2 years younger and shows a great hospitality each time I request to stay over. After my arrival at the platform, I found him right there. He guided me to the house, which was like 1 minute walking distance from the station which is a GREAT plus for a tourist. The neighborhood was actually built around the 1940s, and it's all about classic villas and buildings. My building is a great example of how the neighborhood looked.

I was actually staying on the fifth - and last - floor. Anyway it was almost 7.30 and I put my stuff at Islem’s, we're going to have an outing together. Islem suggested I should have like a metro pass to all the 5 Paris districts, which came in really handy for my whole stay, and it included Versailles and Disney which were planned items.

We decided to go over the downtown and launched that plan from Châtelet, stepped out of the station to Rue de Rivoli, passed by Tour Saint Jaques.

Then we passed by Paris's official city center, Hôtel de Ville. The place looked amazing as that was my first time to see it at night all lit

Also had my first look at the seine by crossing Pomt d'Arcole and its beautiful scenery over the river.

I also wanted to check on Notre Dame, as I was really devastated when the fire took place in April 2019, but it looked better than expected. But still it's a great loss to France and Europe.

For those who don't know, Notre Dame was my favorite place to visit in Paris, and it was the place that I've seen first in Paris during my first visit in 2018. I will never forget that feeling of seeing this building in person. Now it is in a really bad condition, only hoping for it to restore its previous glory soon.

I made sure to check the building as much as possible, passed by it from almost all sides. A very important funny part though: it was raining before my arrival and I didn’t notice a small water puddle behind Notre Dame, which resulted my socks and shoes all soaked with water, making me walk like i’m walking on hot rocks for a while till it started to dry out. We later reached Saint Michelle Fountain.

Had the opportunity to see one of the best seine river scenes in Paris, with Notre Dame looking so fine like it was untouched.

We Also passed by Pont Neuf, Paris’s oldest bridge with a construction date back to 1578. The term “Pont Neuf” means the new bridge, because of all the modernity that it embodied in the Middle Ages back then. The building, which spans the Seine at Ile de la Cité, was built during the reign of Henry III but was inaugurated in the early 17th century.  At that time, it was the very first stone bridge in Paris and also the first in the capital to have sidewalks to protect pedestrians from the mud projected by horses and carts.

After crossing Pont Neuf to the other bank of the seine, we’re right in front of the back side of the Louvre museum. Islem thankfully made me enter the Louvre from the back entrance, allowing me to see the famous modern pyramid centering the 18th century old Château from a new angle.

And now with the main stream angle, which I really love by the way because there’s no enough of how beautiful this place looks! I was actually surprised to see that much of people still hanging out there, later i realized the place is open till 9:45 PM on Wednesdays, and it was just 9:15 PM the moment I took the picture.

We were really starving afterwards, and we couldn’t pick a place to have our dinner. So we decided to eat in the first affordable thing we see in our way. We walked down Avenue de l'Opéra heading to the Palais Garnier (Paris’s grand opera house). and as much as it always looked fantastic with its golden statues, it never looked as beautiful as I saw it that night.

We were right in front of the opera when Islem suggested we go for pizza hut since it’s just around the corner, there was no space for me to say no as the last meal I had was almost 8-9 hours earlier. We went inside and we picked a chicken pizza that we shared with a drink and appetizers. and I gotta say there was no much of a difference comparing to the pizza hut we have in Egypt, only cleaner place and more expensive lol.

We were finally full and we decided that I should welcome Paris in the best cliché way possible: watching the Eiffel tower at night. We moved via metro from  Opéra to Trocadéro. For those of you who don’t know, Trocadéro is the best place in Paris where you can actually view the landmark and remain absolutely speechless till you realize you spent a lot of time there and should leave.

It was the most crowded place I visited that night. Needless to say how worthy it was, I’ll just let the below pictures speak for themselves.

After spending some time there, we decided to go home and rest, as Islem is working the next day, and I have to visit Chateau Versailles which I’m really excited about. Using both Metro and RER, we reached home and I was getting ready to sleep before it started raining outside.

I was sleeping right under a roof window which allowed me to see the sky and the rain hitting that window and I instantly started thinking about how lucky I am that:

- It started raining right after I’m back home and right before I arrived, I really felt welcomed :)

- I’m visiting the city I love the most twice in one year! Spending so much time there while having a very good trip planned ahead.

To the next day tomorrow, I’m visiting Chateau Versailles ,La Defance and Arc de Triumph. can’t wait to start going into details about that.

Bonne nuit!