#also after the whole dying and coming back to life and oh Tim tried to clone me? fiasco he probably started calling him that again

[maricoelquelolea]

This is literally how pre-Teen Titans Kon texts Tim.

…And Bart, and Cassie, and Gr-

[bigskydreaming]

Hi, I was reading your post about Jason punching Dick in the face when Dick revealed he fake his death was bullshit ( which it was) and it reminded me of an issue/question that has bothered me for sometime.

Why did people believe Dick was actually dead?

I’m not the most avid comic reader so maybe I missed something but it was always weird to me that everyone just accepted this especially given how Bruce was acting or should I say wasn’t acting.

This is a man when his child died another child had to come along and told him sir you are being too violent and emotional you need supervision. When his other child died he went all over the universe to bring him back to life because he knew it was possible ( which was happening at the same time), so why didn’t anyone think it was weird he wasn’t doing that for Dick. Can you imagine Dick really dying that soon after Damian it would be injustice Batman Version. You are telling me that Tim, Jason or Barbara didn’t think it was weird that Bruce didn’t also bring Dick’s corpse to the bring Damian back to life mission or mention it to themselves. Like what more likely Dick dead and Bruce is handling it well or that he fake his death to do something stupid and Dangerous after his partner/brother/ little bit my son the feelings are complicated died after he was knocked out and woke up to his corpse.

Oh man, this is like, the entire nature of my beef?

(Slight derail just to emphasize the fact real quick that Dick DID actually die, he was just revived quickly, but like, the trauma of his death was very real and its not like anyone was clued into Luthor having a resurrection backdoor built into his literal murder of Dick in the actual moment of it happening. So Dick’s death wasn’t fake, and additionally, he didn’t have anything to do with like, telling people about it, because he was literally comatose in the cave and recovering while Bruce was telling people....by the time Dick woke up in the cave, we already know that Alfred at least had already been convinced by Bruce that Dick was dead, so I have a kneejerk need to pushback against the Dick faked his death narrative by reminding people wherever possible that Dick had no agency in the spreading of that narrative. 

It happened without him being involved, and the only actual contribution he ever made to it was just not revealing he was alive before Grayson #12, after Bruce like.....emotionally, mentally and physically badgered him into accepting that doing so would be directly harmful to his family and he didn’t want to be the reason more people died when like, people had just died because he ‘let’ himself be captured and interrogated by Power Woman’s Lasso of Submission, did he?

SORRY TO BE PEDANTIC, just wanted to start this off on a clarification, even though I know the aim of your ask was very much in tune with the rest of my response. A lot of people don’t read the actual comics, so like, I’m never gonna skip over an opportunity to emphasize that the shorthand people use to refer to Dick’s death and the year he was with Spyral, is like, literally just shorthand for describing it. Its not actually an accurate description of how all that went down and who had the most hand in it).

BUT ANYWAY. BACK TO THE MEAT OF THE BEEF.

Okay so like, not only was the entire family and Bruce himself giving Dick shit for his death and Spyral, like, PAINFULLY egregious because it was literal victim blaming in every possible sense of the word....

None of it made a LICK of sense with ANY of their characterizations, and they ONLY all accepted it on face value because the Plot Demanded It, and when you're like, no, as a reader I say The Plot Demanded It is not a good enough reason for me to be like well sure, that makes sense......looking at the characters ACTUAL actions at face value pretty much just makes them all look like assholes?

Like, Tim has never gracefully accepted anyone's death. Ever. This is core characterization for him. He will go to the ends of the earth for his loved ones and to bring them back, prove they're not dead, refuse to let death be the final verdict for them. He was tempted to use the Lazarus Pit to bring his parents back to life. He refused to accept Bruce was dead long before he had any proof whatsoever of that theory. He tried to clone his BFF/future-husband Kon in his fucking basement like, dude was two whole inches away from going Full Dark Side in his quest to bring back a lost loved one no matter WHAT the cost.....and then you've got Dick unmasked onscreen, killed offscreen, and Bruce then reporting to the rest of them with zero inflection 'oh Dick's dead now. Its very sad' and Tim's just like, sure. Sounds legit.

I mean?!?!

And you're SO RIGHT ABOUT THE DAMIAN THING! Bruce LITERALLY LITERALLY LITERALLY went BEYOND the ends of the Earth, like, he full on chartered a fucking space ship to fly his whole family out to APOKOLIPS to bring Damian back from the dead by going to EXTREME lengths.....WHILE everyone else thought Dick was dead....

And not a single person looked at Bruce and was like, okay, not that we're not down to do this for Damian because we miss Stabby Smurf something fierce ourselves, but.....what the fuck is UP with you dude? Why aren't you displaying ANY hint of this same kind of energy in regards to your eldest son that you said you watched die right in front of you?

Like....I don't know that we were actually ever told that Dick's coffin was empty or had a fake in it, but like....this family of detectives who refuse to accept death, defy death, COME BACK FROM THE DEAD....not a single one of them said like, okay, if I'm gonna like, ACCEPT accept that Dick is dead and gone for good, I need to at least just see him one last time? That's literally all it would have taken for someone to realize hey something's a little wonky here. Where's the dead body, Pops?

Since when has Jason ever missed an opportunity to prove Bruce is a) full of shit, b) acting like an emotionless robot and all his kids deserve better especially when they've just like....died, c) just factually incorrect and wrong and jumped to a conclusion before it was conclusively proved, d) lying like a liar or e) all of the above?

Nobody even ASKED if Dick's body could be put in a Lazarus Pit? Yeah, Jason wouldn't necessarily recommend it himself, given what it put him through, but actually fuck that, I take that back, because I'm NOT actually of the opinion that Jason full on hates his life and actively spends every second of every day wishing he hadn't been resurrected, even if it had come with a huge buffet of additional trauma and pain.

And that's kinda what's implied when people just take it for granted that he would never be on board with any scenario involving using a Lazarus Pit to bring Dick back, because it suggests that based even just on his own experiences and feelings, he honestly believes Dick would prefer being dead and not have ANY further opportunities to be with his loved ones, his friends, help save the damn world again at some future point.....that Jason, projecting based just off himself, legit feels Dick would rather be dead than have another shot at life even WITH the downsides of Lazarus Pit usage? Nope. Sorry, I don't buy it.

Speaking of not buying it.....you know what was missing from all those soliloquies the others monologued at Dick about how they felt and were hurt and just devastated by his death, to such a point they can't seem to muster a single shred of happiness that he's NOT dead still -

(seriously, Damian was the ONLY person in ALL THE LANDS OF EMOTION-HAVING who expressed ANY kind of positive reaction to having Dick back. We were so fucking cheated of like.....ANY opportunity to have the characters show just how much they valued him by just being fucking HAPPY he was alive, no matter what else was involved....and then most of fandom compounded that by for years being like mmmm, no, Dick didn't get yelled at enough by his family for what HE put THEM through. Needs more yelling. More punching too. Bad Dick. Bad. This is the only way you'll learn not to die and get shipped off on a mission that you don't want but at least is to protect your family after being beaten into it by your dad whilst victim blaming you for dying in the first place. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN TO THINK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR FEELINGS FOR A CHANGE, DICK?!?)

- But like, BUT I DIGRESS aside....you know what was missing from all those monologues about how hard DICK'S death and ensuing year of basically exile from his loved ones was for EVERYONE BUT HIM?

We never got a single line of explanation as to what everyone else officially thinks even happened to him in the first place?

Like, did Bruce straight up just say oh bad news kids, your brother umm. Expired. Spontaneously. There's no one to blame, he just keeled over, its all very sad.

Is that how that went down?

You're telling me that the explanation of Dick's death didn't come with a single pointed finger at someone for this family of blame-happy vigilantes to like, BLAME for the loss of this brother they all mourned oh so much, they just couldn't help but blame him for all the hurt it caused them?

The family that in every other fic is like OBSESSED with avenging and being avenged and all things vengeful and even tangentially vengeance-y....like didn't ask for a single detail on whomst the fuck deprived us of our brother-having?

Where were the attempts on Luthor's life by Jason (who I mean, yeah I know it was in a previous continuity, but erasing that timeline doesn't erase my awareness of the time Dick killed Jason's murderer so like.....mmm, just saying, woulda been nice)....where was the rage directed at the Crime Syndicate and references to how seriously and personally the Batfam took making sure that they were PUNISHED for all this and would never be free to wreak havoc on their world or their family again? What did they tell Damian when he came back to life, and how are you going to tell me that this fraternal little ball of fury didn't aim himself like a cannonball at whomever the fuck had DARED take HIS Batman from him when Damian wasn't around to have his back?

Not only does everyone else's desire to be avenged start falling really flat the second you factor in hey maybe Dick feels "mmm what about MY avenging" sometimes, and why doesn't anyone ever care about doing that for him.....but also, y'know what REALLY sucks about the ONLY person we actually SEE being blamed for Dick's death and ensuing absence being like....Dick himself?

Not only were his family all super keen on making all of this HIS fault and HIM the bad guy because of how it made them all feeeeeeel (and meanwhile fuck his feelings, am I right Batfam hfaklshfklahfkla).....

They somehow found a way to justify prioritizing this OVER ever even getting around to blaming some villain for his death in the FIRST place, in the entire year or so they thought he was still dead!

Like, you couldn't come up with a single target in all that time, but Dick's back two seconds, and you don't even give him a chance to EXPLAIN before you're punching him, shutting him down with 'I expected better from you' and turning away with 'I don't want to hear it, why am I surprised Dick Grayson disappointed me again'?

afshklfhalfhalfhla

Make it make sense!

And like, it won't, cuz it doesn't, and it never will, and like I said at the top, the ONLY reason it all played out this way is because DC doesn't give a fuck about character development and deemed it necessary to go down this way for the sake of the plot (which was totes worth it, I mean, glad we sacrificed characters for this A+ plot which was clearly the greatest plot of all time and definitely justified every story choice made or not made around it loooool).

BUT.

BUT BUT BUT.

The problem isn't JUST that DC is stupid, even though that is an eternal mood and quite the problem.

Its that the SECOND large parts of fandom decided to play along with DC and just accept the story at face value, only add to it and play into it exactly as it happened in canon with no significant deviations, and like, heaping on the LITERAL abuse from Dick's siblings while ignoring the LITERAL abuse from his father....

THAT....is when all of this becomes relevant.

Because the second people decided TO engage with the reasoning DC gave for what Bruce did and how and what Dick did and how and just not mess with any of that and have it all play out exactly like that...

The second people are like, okay we're FINE with not just dismissing this story as OOC writing that doesn't make any sense, and actually VALIDATING it to various degrees by engaging with it as is....

That's when 'OOC writing' stops being an excuse or explanation for alllll of the above gaps in character logic and actions.

Because its like, when you had abundant chance to REJECT this story and say nope, this was bullshit from start to finish and I'm not here for it, when you were just as capable of transforming literally ANY aspect of this story you didn't like into something that made more sense to you....

And you chose not to.

That's.....accepting it as valid writing. You were like, okay, I'm game to just treat this as a thing that happened, just like they said that happened.

For the chance to give Dick shit for it, see. For the angst, see.

And that's when I'm like okay cool, so when engaging with this story as is and accepting it on face value and just delving into the characters as they were SHOWN interacting with and around these events......for the angst or whatever....

You guys just all decided en masse to just hop, skip and jump over allllllllll the opportunities for angst inherent in examining even ANY SINGLE ONE of the above lapses in judgment or hypocrisy on the parts of the characters (who don't get to be excused by OOC writing if you're not going to call the story an example of OOC writing, whoops).

And its just like, uh, what's up with that?

[our-happygirl500-fan]

You know the whole Baterang to the throat thing that causes a lot of discussion in the fandom? I think Bruce might not have been aiming for the throat

It ricochets

This point in comics Bruce has been through a ringer Steph's died, Barbara and Jim have left, Leslie betrayed him and he's had to send Cass and Tim away and now Jason is back but for revenge so Bruce isn’t at his best and I think Bruce threw the Baterang in a moment of panic and either over or undershot which ended up with well that.

This moment causes a lot of debate but I don't see it as “Bruce harming Jason to save the joker” the way a lot of fics paint it I see it more as he'd been aiming for Jason's arm or something to disarm him but overshot and it’s kind of like a symbolism of their relationship. 

 Which is basically Bruce takes an action to stop Jason from going down a path that he thinks will end up hurting Jason, but ends up hurting Jason in the long-run.

Like when he discussed taking away robin from Jason (because he thought Jason needed time to deal with issues that were becoming more prevalent) which only ended up making Jason feel insecure about his position in the Wayne household, contributing to why he so desperately pursued a stable parental relationship in his biological mother.

Bruce knows that if he gives in and kills the Joker he'll never stop killing we've seen timelines that prove that and I think Bruce also thinks the same of Jason that if Jason kills the Joker he won't stop at all so it’s not that he’s saving the Joker but that he’s trying to save Jason but Bruce ultimately misunderstands Jason’s needs and winds up hurting him.

Bruce is trying to save Jason from what he sees as a downwards spiral, but he ends up hurting him not just emotionally, but physically, and in the most extreme way possible. It's like an even darker echo of how trying to bench him as Robin led to his death.

Bruce has spent YEARS haunted by the memory of Jason’s death his death fundamentally changed Bruce's entire character Alfred said that Jason's death affected Bruce more than his own parents death.

In Underworld Unleashed it's revealed that his greatest desire is to have Jason back, in Hush he talks about how he wanted to put Jason in the Lazarus Pit and how he believes Jason knew he always loved him, and in As The Crow Flies we learn that his greatest fear is Jason coming back as an enemy and then in Under the Red Hood he gets Jason back (his greatest desire) but as an antagonist (his greatest fear) and moreover his belief that Jason 'knew' he loved him is WRONG.

Jason's insecurities from before his death combined with the perceived betrayal of Bruce not avenging him have led Jason to the point where he genuinely believes Bruce doesn't care, and in Jason's eyes, killing the joker is the only way Bruce can prove that he does but instead, in that moment, Bruce's attempt to diffuse the situation backfires.

Bruce misunderstands what Jason needs in that moment like he misunderstood what Jason needed at the start of Death in the Family it's just the ultimate representation of their constant emotional feedback loop. They trap themselves in a cycle of fighting because Jason can't read how Bruce really feels and Bruce can't read what Jason really needs and in that moment both those things are true, with Jason not seeing that Bruce truly cares anymore, and Bruce not knowing how to properly deescalate the situation and show Jason that he still cares.

It's extremely easy to read the batatrang throw as purposeful even though I wholly believe it was accidental but if that moment was explored more, I'm positive that Jason would believe it wasn't an accident, and would view it as proof of his already held view that Bruce doesn't love him anymore after all, that could have killed him, symbolically disowning him in the most extreme way possible.

Heck in Jason's appearance in Green Arrow (2001) Bruce had thought Jason might have died again! Before Jason turned up to mess with Mia.

The thing that's tragic about Jason that actually leads to a lot of his own suffering is that Jason doesn't really know what a healthy relationship looks like so I'm not sure when his actual 'last straw' would be.

Jason is the kind of person who sees love and acceptance as entirely circumstantial. He believes he must /earn/ love and acceptance, i.e. by being Robin, rather than it being inherently given.

A huge piece of understanding Robin Jason is understanding how much he lacked proper support systems back then. School was his only connection to his kids his age, and he didn't benefit much from that connection, his life was essentially: manor, school, Robin, repeat.

Jason loved school, but his school life was also pretty depressing. Jason kept to himself, he didn't have the time to participate in extracurriculars even when he wanted to and his peers didn't view him very positively. Jason was also really isolated from the rest of the hero community, there was his stint with the Titans, but it was pretty brief. He was also penpals with Kid Devil, but for the most part, he just had Batman.

The lack of support is actually one of the reasons I give for Jason and Steph dying in universe since they were the two Robins without support systems outside of Gotham. When Bruce was a jerk Dick and Tim could be like 'fine I'm going to go hang out with the Teen Titans or Young Justice' but Jason and Steph could only be like 'oh no' plus Bruce would deliberately try to take away Steph's support systems that she did have multiple times like when he ordered Cass to stop training with Steph.

But that's besides the point, I wouldn't be surprised if Jason confused being Robin with being accepted in the manor so when Bruce threatened to take away Robin from him, he might've seen it as his only proper support system being taken away from him, his world felt rocked back into instability once again.

When you look at it like that, it's very easy to understand why Jason sought out his biological mother. He had a hope that Sheila would offer him that stability once more, and that he'd get support and trust and unconditional love.

And that’s what make it all the more heartbreaking to me he came to this woman seeking love and gave her his greatest secret and she repaid him with a horrific death.  Jason’s death is one of the saddest to me because there’s no high stakes 'he died saving the world stuff' he’s just a kid who wanted a mom and got killed for it.

DC’s habit of taking away who he was is so detrimental to his backstory as the Red Hood because the transformation from someone who tried being kind and who did give it their all being killed for it and coming back like ‘no more’ is so much more interesting than ‘we always knew this would happen’.

Robin disobeying orders is nothing new. If that was the core of why Jason died, then any Robin disobeying orders should never be put in a positive light, but often it is. Jason (and Steph) were just the ones unlucky enough to emerge dead and judged for it instead of alive and praised for it.

Jason died because he was a child who just wanted to be safe and loved.

So many times Robin disobeying orders saved lives it’s nothing new and Jason had a pretty solid reason, the story of Jason Todd should be portrayed as the tragedy not make him some warning sign.

This is why I always hated the victim blaming after Jason & Steph's deaths because they died doing what if it had been Tim or Dick a Robin would be praised for, like take Steph for example we've seen constant stories of Bruce firing Robin, them going off on their own & Bruce realising he's wrong & taking them back but when Steph goes off on her own she dies the only reason Jason & Steph died is that the writers forced them to fail where they would have allowed the others to succeed.

But anyway back to my point the thing about Jason feeling like he had to earn love is why he was initially so hung up on the idea of Bruce 'replacing' him when he came back to life, he viewed Tim being robin as Bruce /transferring/ his love for Jason to another person, rather than seeing that Bruce could love Tim while still loving and missing him.

The reason Jason sought out his mother after Bruce benched him as Robin was that he viewed Bruce benching him as Bruce rejecting him and latched onto the idea of finding someone, i.e. a birth mother, who is supposed to give /unconditional love/.

The fact that his birth mother REJECTED HIM and then played a hand in his murder undoubtedly affected his attitude when he came back, if even his mother didn't want him, and then Bruce let the joker live and replaced him, then, in Jason's eyes, OF COURSE Bruce doesn't care and as mentioned previously Jason didn't really have any friends in school or the hero community, believing that the only real close personal connection in your live, someone you spent all your time with, had forgotten about you and rejected you is bound to mess a person up.

[stxleslyds]

Also, the writers' failure to understand, every crime Jason committed had a motive. Attack other criminals? Holy warrior destined to purify the world of evil. Attack Bruce? Joker's still alive. (Oh, Jason, it's much worse than that.) Attack Tim? A parody of what he once was. He wasn't just a "bad boy". He was dangerously insane.

Hi, Anon! Yup, there seems to be a lot of things that writers have gotten confused about Jason Todd/Red Hood and the biggest one is his motivations to kill certain criminals.

Let’s be honest, Judd Winick set a golden path for the upcoming Red Hood writers. But each and every writer that used Red Hood in their stories completely missed the point of Jason’s character. All of them. It’s so incredibly wild to me that every other writer read UtRH and came up with whichever version of Jason they came up with.

Let’s list the writers that completely missed the point.

Geoff Johns in Teen Titans vol.3 #29.

Geoff Johns was one of the first to completely mischaracterize Jason, why on earth would Jason go to the Titans Tower to beat up Tim? This is not me saying that Jason would never do that because Jason thinks of Tim as his brother or a friend or the person that he can trust the most from the Bat-Clan (can you believe Lobdell tried to sell us that one?), this is me saying that Jason wouldn’t have done that because he couldn’t have given less of a fuck about Tim’s existence.

When Jason found out that Bruce had another Robin he wasn’t bothered by his “replacement” he was mad at Bruce for having another child playing hero after he lost his life as a fifteen-year-old. Jason didn’t even think of Tim as his replacement as fandom likes to make us believe, Jason called Tim “pretender”. And that was that, but to go from minimal recognition to go out of his way to beat him up at Titans Tower is a massive mischaracterization.

Paul Dini in Countdown (to Final Crisis).

Paul Dini in Countdown did absolutely nothing with Jason, I am sorry but that’s all he did. Him writing Jason was like watching a dog trying to catch their own tail. He started with a pretty basic take on UtRH Jason, then he added a bit of Jason being an annoying man with Donna, then we had the jealousy arc because apparently, Jason had the hots for Donna but she didn’t want anything to do with him and he was all angsty when she paid attention to Kyle instead of him, and then, later on, he had that whole Red Robin bullshit (I am sorry about this, but I absolutely hated that, it was so dumb, I am so glad it didn’t last long because it was just too bad), and after all that mix of just not interesting stuff he went right back to the Jason that he had at the very start. It was a waste of time, but I guess that he had to be there because he was an anomaly and all that. I just think that was DC’s first try at making Jason Todd/Red Hood something more than just a street-level vigilante and they failed miserably.

Tony S. Daniel in Batman: Battle for the Cowl.

Even though the first two did make mistakes with Jason’s characterizations, this man was the first to just throw UtRH out of the window and make up his very own version of Jason Todd. And his version was horrendous, that Jason had no problem with attempting to kill children and innocent people, he also really wanted to be Batman because Gotham needed a Batman and he wanted to be the person to wear the Cowl and he was looking for a Robin for himself.

I know, the whole concept is the perfect opposite of what Jason Todd and Red Hood were in UtRH. Every aspect of BftC Jason is based on nothing.

Jason wanting to be Batman because Gotham needed Batman is just the beginning of what’s wrong in this book. Jason became the Red Hood (in part) because he believed that Batman and his ways weren’t what Gotham needed so he made a better version of Batman with Red Hood (according to him) because Red Hood did what Batman refused to do. Another thing that is just wrong is Jason wanting, Damian, Tim or Dick to be his Robin, there is just so much wrong with this, first of all, Jason wanted Batman to stop having Robin because child soldiers ran the risk of dying at a very young age and that’s exactly how he saw the whole thing because that was what had happened to him. Second, if Jason was mad at Bruce for getting another Robin why would he now want one of his own to team up with his Batman? Damian was a child, Tim was someone that apparently Jason hated (because Jason beating Tim was mentioned in this event), and then Jason actually asked Dick Grayson, Nightwing, to be his Robin? Listen, there is no way that was Jason, nothing about him makes sense, even taking into account that Jason had beaten Tim already in this event Jason actually tried to kill both Tim and Damian (it might have been just one of them but yeah, it still doesn’t make sense).

I just don’t think that Tony S. Daniel knew who Jason Todd was, maybe he got confused but the thing is, his “villainous” and deranged version of Jason Todd allowed a villainous and deranged version of Red Hood to happen with the next writer that I will be talking about.

Grant Morrison in Batman and Robin vol.1 #3-6.

This was the birth of the villainous, deranged and bloodthirsty Red Hood. There is absolutely no trace of UtRH Jason here, not even if we are looking at the opposite of things like we could do with Daniel’s Jason. Grant Morrison wanted Dick and Damian to have a villain to match their Batman and Robin and they decided to give us a red-haired-pill-headed-red hood. Everything from Morrison’s characterization of Jason is crazy, from the red hair (hello pre-crisis) to the awful Joker’s Red Hood looking suit, everything was just weird.

I still don’t believe that was Jason, to be honest, I would rather think that version of Jason was actually a rouge Skrull that came all the way from the Marvel Universe and lost his way in Gotham City. Maybe when he made the jump between universes, he got too much information and got confused and took the form of the wonkiest Jason Todd he could come up with.

This Jason was absolutely deranged, he knew exactly what he was doing and he didn’t care if innocents died. This Jason was the one that got locked up in Arkham. This is the Jason that Dick put in Arkham for Jason and everybody else’s safety.

Dick putting that Jason in Arkham wasn’t a bad thing or something that anyone can use to shit on Dick Grayson (not on this house). This Arkham was reformed and that Jason knew that if he stayed in that new Arkham he would stay away from trouble, but here is the thing, that Jason loved trouble, so he took all the tests to prove he wasn��t insane and asked to be transferred to Blackgate (where all the Red Hood’s enemies were). That Jason didn’t ask to be sent to Blackgate because the Joker was a cell away from his in Arkham, he did it so he could go on a killing spree in Blackgate (which he did when he got there).

Skrull Jason was just bloodthirsty and nothing like UtRH Jason, he had no motive other than just killing for fun or whatever. He didn’t want to protect Gotham and he couldn’t have cared less about the drug trade in Gotham. In Batman and Robin vol.1. Jason Todd was unrecognizable. And luckily, we never saw him again.

Scott Lobdell in Everything that he ever wrote about Red Hood.

This one is pretty self-explanatory. Lobdell was the king of overpowering Jason, he was the one that drove Red Hood farther and farther away from his street-level vigilante status. He continuously added more to him, he was a big deal because he was meant to take down Ra’s al Ghul, he was a big deal because he was the only human to train in the All-Castle and learned to summon the All-Blades.

This Red Hood’s morals and ideals were kind of gone, there just wasn’t any kind of interest in Jason to get rid of drugs or try to control its trade in Gotham, he just had no interest in street-level threats, everything was extraordinary in both New 52 and Rebirth. If he wasn’t in space he was in some mystical land. His friends and allies became even more and more powerful, his level of power was completely off compared to the others. His personality was ever-changing and quite honestly you could barely see the Jason that he once was.

This Jason also was very inconsistent in the way that he felt towards people (obviously because Lobdell is a shitty writer), he wanted to follow Batman’s rules and was shown as someone that still had fond memories of his life with Bruce before he died but was also willing to let those memories go, to move on? Maybe? I don’t know. But he changed his mind about Bruce and following his rules or not for a very long time. Jason was also a little bitch about Dick, and he was a little bitch because he (Lobdell) never gave the reader or anyone a concrete reason as to why he hated him so much and then in Rebirth he decided that Dick wasn’t that bad. Also, Jason went from “Willis Todd, abusive husband and father that deserved to die” to “Willis Todd abusive husband and father but he sent me letters when he was in prison and Penguin had him killed so now, I really want to avenge him”. Yeah, I don’t really know why that happened and like most of Lobdell’s arcs and stuff it was never really completed or well thought out.

Lobdell’s Jason characterization was a mess for ten years and that’s the prime reason why Jason is a character with no solid background, story or future.

James Tynion IV in Red Hood and the Outlaws.

Tynion’s Jason Todd was a hero, he was like a mini Tom King Batman. Everything he did was right and there was just no way that you could bamboozle him. This Jason was able to hold to Blades that drained his soul as well as hosting the Untitled in his body (that were able to drain his soul too) and on top of all that he completed his journey of the Chosen One by making those ancient martial arts moves that he learned before he was Robin even though Talia hadn’t been able to master it yet.

Scott Snyder, Tim Seeley in Batman Eternal and Batman and Robin Eternal.

A mess, this was pure New 52 levels of bullshit and they all just wanted to push the “Batfamily” and while Dick was gone, they were trying to make Jason fill the void that Dick left in Batman events. It didn’t work at all and all they did was mess around with Jason’s characterization more.

Geoff Johns in Three Jokers.

I have talked enough about Johns’ takes on Jason Todd and Red Hood, but let me tell you something real quick, if a writer thinks that the best they can do with a character is make them give up their morals/ideals for an unrequited love interest, then they can keep that idea for themselves. Geoff Johns wrote a book that was absolutely not needed and then proceeded to butcher every characterization that he could, Three Jokers was three issues long and he managed to add more trauma to Jason’s torture, push the narrative of Jason being at fault for his own murder and make Jason’s motivations to be the Red Hood weak enough to make him want to give up his work for a woman that he barely knows (and doesn’t like him at all).

Joshua Williamson in Future State: Red Hood and Robin #5.

Now, with Williamson I have issues only when he writes Jason, not because his stories are bad, don’t get me wrong, I would have completely enjoyed FS: Red Hood if it weren’t for the completely unnecessary Rose/Jason side plot he had going on. Jason was clearly working undercover for some people that he hated working with. He had to arrest or kill “masks” (vigilantes, just like he “used” to be) for the Magistrate.

His ideas were pretty solid, Jason did the job but he never killed the masks and actively didn’t trust the Magistrate but he was working there to tear them apart from within, and that’s amazing if Williamson had given us Jason Todd/Red Hood working undercover to dismantle an organization I would have been really happy.

But that’s not all he gave us, even if I just forget about his failed attempt at giving Jason a relationship, I can still see that Williamson is the kind of writer that wants (or is just following DC) to make the “Batfamily” happen no matter how dumb and out of place it looks in comics’ canon. So, I am a little bit weary, any writer that leans too much towards making Jason and Bruce work together and become a family makes me want to scream, but I do understand that is just me, many people want those two to be buddy-buddy, I, personally, would love to see Jason kick Bruce in the balls and tell him to lose his number.

Chip Zdarsky in Urban Legends: Cheer.

Ah, yes, I remember the days in which I thought that this could have been something good. Well, I was utterly wrong and I suffered all the way through this mini. I feel like now I can safely say that Zdarsky only wanted to write a Batman book but DC told him, “Hey you can write Batman but it has to be within a Red Hood story, but don’t worry, you don’t have to know much about the Hood guy, just come up with something and write Batman around that”.

I know that’s what happened because I read that story and all we got from it was horrible characterizations for pre-Robin Jason, Robin Jason, Jason Todd and Red Hood. I don’t know how he did it but yes, he managed to mess it all up.

From Jason not really wanting to be Robin and acting recklessly every step of the way, to secret desires of a perfect family with Bruce and so many other people that he couldn’t care about, Urban Legends: Cheer is the perfect book to avoid at all costs if you believe that the concept of “Batfamily” is the biggest lie, DC is trying to profit off this time around.

Zdarsky also nerfed Jason in ways that I thought DC only wanted to nerf Dick Grayson. But I was able to see that I was wrong. Zdarsky’s run also pushed some of the most disastrous narratives that DC really wants readers to believe like: Robin Jason wasn’t good at his job, he was too reckless and ultimately his death was his own fault. Yay! I want to cry!

I will give Zdarsky two points for at the very least showing that Red Hood wants to protect children and that he has a huge issue with how the drug trade is controlled and abused in Gotham City, it had been a while since we had seen that aspect of Jason’s Red Hood make an appearance.

-

It’s just too many writers completely missing the point of Red Hood’s character or simply writers agreeing to destroy Jason’s uniqueness in the DC Universe so DC (as the publisher) can further push the abomination that is the “Batfamily” in comics’ canon.

I do agree with you Anon when you say that Jason isn’t just a “bad boy” but I also don’t think that we can call UtRH Jason “dangerously insane”. Personally, I will only use that last description for BftC and Batman and Robin Jason, those two were dangerously insane indeed.

UtRH Jason was very meticulous in who he wanted dead and who got to live. He entered Gotham’s most dangerous world and he had to make a big entrance, he invited the eight most prosperous street dealers to a meeting, showed up with the decapitated heads of each of their right-hand men and an AK-47 and said:

“I am offering you a deal. I will be running the drug trade from now on. You will go about your business as usual. You will kick up forty percent to me. That is a much better deal than the Black Mask will give you. In return, you will have total protection from both the Black Mask and Batman. The catch? You stay away from kids and schoolyards. No dealing to children, got it? If you do, you’re dead.”

This was Red Hood! Red Hood wanted to control the drug trade in Gotham because he knew that Gotham is far too corrupt and filled with drug lords for him to just want to eradicate drugs from Gotham. If he had tried that he would have been a dumbass, but he wasn’t. He didn’t want to start a gang war and get innocent people killed because of it, he wanted to set the rules of his new Empire and he had to start with the street-level drug dealers, from there he grew until he became a major pain in Black Mask’s ass.

We went from Jason wanting to control the drug trade and take over Gotham’s underworld so people like Black mask couldn’t have people work for him (or being dependent on him) when they were still in high school or were in a vulnerable position, to Jason fighting a war for a mystic land because he was their “Chosen One”. DC really wanted to do something grand (yet boring) with Jason instead of sticking to a street-level vigilante that could have become a Drug Lord to control the drug trade of a city that is so filled with crime and corruption that it can’t be saved by anyone.

Batman doesn’t eradicate crime, he “controls” it, puts a blank it over it, lets it nap up until it wakes up once more to make more mess.

Red Hood had other plans, certain criminals didn’t get to nap, or, better said, they would get to nap forever.

So, no. I wouldn’t call that “dangerously insane”, I will call that “vigilante that believes himself judge, jury and executioner” of a city that is drowning in crime and corruption.

Anyway, I hope you have a really nice week Anon and thank you so much for sending me this ask!

[bluejayblueskies]

for the kiss prompts series? 67+jontim (or really Tim+anyone?) 🥺

67 - When One Stops The Kiss To Whisper “I’m Sorry, Are You Sure You-” And They Answer By Kissing Them More

i stuck with jontim! takes place pre-canon when jon and tim worked together in research, featuring mutual pining <3

cw for alcohol

.

“Okay, that was hands down the worst holiday party I’ve ever been to,” Tim says as soon as they’re outside the Institute, tugging on the tie around his neck to loosen it. It’s adorned with little reindeer and it lights up. As Tim had so eagerly demonstrated the moment he’d met up with Sasha and Jon.

 Jon doesn’t like parties in general, so he doesn’t think he’s the best judge of what makes a party good or bad. He takes a guess. “Because of the alcohol?”

 “More like the lack thereof,” Tim grumbles as they start toward the tube station. “I know it’s a work party, but come on. Not even spiked eggnog? Not even wine? What kind of person has a party without wine?”

 “Elias, apparently.”

 Tim groans. “Don’t know what I was expecting, really. The man looks like he’s never had fun in his life, ever.” Tim slings an arm around Jon’s shoulder and pulls him into his side as he walks, and Jon tries to pretend like his heart rate doesn’t skyrocket at the contact. He’s just glad it’s dark enough out that Tim can’t see the flush of heat across his cheeks. “So, then. Back to mine?”

 Jon’s heart rate has, apparently, not yet reached maximum speed. “What?” he manages to say, his pulse hammering in his ears. He’s just glad that the word comes out mostly normal, if a bit choked.

 “The night’s still young,” Tim says, oblivious to Jon’s internal turmoil, “and I’m still in need of a drink or three, especially after all of that. I’ve got a batch of eggnog in the fridge. I’ve also got a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon—that fancy brand you like.”

 Tim knows what brand of wine you like, one part of Jon’s mind supplies. The other part says, Of course he knows what you like; you’ve been friends for a year and a half. It doesn’t mean anything.

 “Oh,” Jon says. “Yes, I’d love to- er, that- that sounds… nice?”

 He barely holds back a wince. Very smooth, Jonathan.

 “Great!” Tim says, unbothered. He pulls Jon a little tighter against his side, and when Jon shivers, it’s not just from the chill of the night air.

 In the time it takes them to get to Tim’s house, Jon has relaxed a bit, settling into a comfortable rhythm of laughing at Tim’s jokes, offering his own awkward attempts in return, and letting the warmth of Tim’s laughter soak into him like the summer sun. It’s fine, he tells himself as Tim puts a hand on his shoulder, lingering just long enough that Jon can still feel the weight of it when Tim pulls away. It’s the same as always, he tells himself as Tim grabs his hand on their way off the tube, gently guiding him through the late-night crowds and into the bite of the open air. (Tim doesn’t let go until they get to his house, which Jon tries very hard not to have a minor crisis about.) It’s just Tim, he tells himself as Tim places a hand on the small of his back as he reaches around him to grab the glasses from his kitchen cabinet. (Jon almost drops the bottle of wine he’s holding. Which would have been quite embarrassing.)

 It’s not even like this is new. This tightness in his chest, the way his breath catches a bit every time Tim smiles at him, the way he sometimes finds himself staring at Tim’s lips and wondering if they’re as soft as they look. And Jon’s not naïve. As much as he despises the word itself, he knows that at some point, he’d developed quite a potent crush. He just tries very, very hard to ignore it.

 Because, well. He hasn’t been in a relationship since Georgie, and while their breakup had been unspectacular by most standards, it still ate a hole in his chest filled with a nagging certainty that if they’d remained just friends, he wouldn’t have had to go through the pain of falling slowly out of contact with her. And he doesn’t want that to happen with Tim. So it doesn’t matter how badly Jon wants to hold Tim’s hand and curl up into his side and kiss him. He’ll ignore it like he’s been doing for the past three months, and it’ll be fine.

 But it’s getting harder and harder. Especially at moments like this one, with Tim pressed up against Jon’s side on the couch and his voice right next to Jon’s ear as he points out his favorite parts in the movie they’d put on. Jon’s unsure if the heat in his cheeks is from the proximity or from the three glasses of wine he’s consumed, and he’s fairly certain that Tim’s on his fourth glass of eggnog. Tim’s glass is shaped like a little reindeer head, which he thinks Tim had said is a reference to something. He’d been too busy looking at the way Tim’s rolled-up shirt sleeves showed his forearms to process what, exactly, it was a reference to.

 “You know,” Tim says, cutting through Jon’s train of thought, “I never really understood the whole ‘love at first sight’ thing.”

 Jon’s heart jumps into his throat. “Sorry, what?”

 “You know,” Tim says, shifting from his position against Jon’s side so he can set his glass on the table before propping his feet up next to it. His socks have felt reindeer antlers on the sides of them. Jon’s beginning to notice a theme. “One person lays eyes on the other and boom. They’re in love.” He gestures toward the screen, which is currently displaying a quite detailed kissing scene. Jon looks away, face burning. “Do people really do that? Just know that they love someone with- without knowing anything about them? Feels a bit shallow, if you ask me. You’ve got to just go based on- on physical appearance or something.”

 At a loss, Jon says, slowly, “Yes, I… I suppose?”

 “Right.” Tim nods once, like he’s settled something. “Me, though, I need to know somebody first, you know? Always used to get me in a bit of trouble in uni, falling in love with my best friends and all that. But isn’t that how it’s supposed to be? Your partner is your partner, yeah, but they’re also your friend.”

 “Right,” Jon says faintly. His heartbeat is hummingbird-fast, and he thinks his hands might be shaking just a bit. “Tim, what—?”

 “It just- it doesn’t make any sense!” Tim turns to face Jon then, his cheeks flushed and his hair a bit messy from where he’d tugged some of it free from its bun. “It’s like- like, I love the way you look, yeah, but also- also the way you laugh and the way you take your tea and the types of books you read as a child. You know, the things that make you you. I fall in love with all of the little things, piece by piece, and then I’m just- just in love. Full stop.”

 Jon thinks he might actually be dreaming right now. Or dying. One of the two. “Um,” he says, the word choked by the lump in his throat. “Are- are you using the universal ‘you,’ or…?”

 Tim is quiet for a moment. His eyes are heavy on Jon’s face, as if searching for something. Then, sounding very much like a man who’s just decided to jump off a cliff and hope that there’s something below to catch him, he says, “You, Jon. And I promise that it’s not the rum talking.”

 “Oh,” Jon says quietly. “I… I see.”

 He realizes a beat later, when Tim’s face has folded ever so slightly inward and he’s begun to move away, how dismissive that had sounded. Quickly, and a bit panicked, Jon reaches out and wraps a hand firmly around Tim’s upper arm, like if he doesn’t hold on tightly enough Tim will slip away. “No, it’s- I’m, sorry, I just- I didn’t—”

 Jon makes a noise of frustration, because of course, now that he needs them, the words won’t come easily. His eyes find Tim’s face—the gentle slope of his nose, the small birthmark by the corner of his eye, the five o’clock shadow across his jaw—before settling on his lips. And before Jon makes the conscious decision to do so, he leans forward and kisses him.

 Tim makes a surprised noise against Jon’s mouth, something low and breathy. After a moment, Tim pulls back, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. “I’m sorry,” he says, more hesitantly than Jon’s ever heard him before. “Are- are you sure you—?”

 Yes, Jon wants to say. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I’m sure about this. I’m sure about you.

 Instead, he leans forward and captures the rest of Tim’s sentence with his lips. After a moment, Tim’s hands go to Jon’s waist, pulling him close, and Jon slips his hands up to the sides of Tim’s face, feeling the heat of Tim’s skin against his as he kisses him and kisses him and kisses him.

 At some point, weeks later, Tim will joke that they have Elias to thank for them finally putting an end to the mutual pining, and Jon will give a full-body shudder and say that he would rather not think of Elias when remembering their first kiss, thank you very much. But for now, Jon holds Tim close and kisses him and lets the light, giddy feeling in his chest overtake him until it feels like he’s weightless and floating, grounded only by the feeling of Tim’s hands on his hips and the way Tim smiles against his lips and whispers, softly and reverently, I love you.

 I love you too, Jon says, resting his head against Tim’s shoulder to hide his smile and to try to breathe around the affection blossoming in his chest. I love you, I love you, I love you.

[ksuew]

The Rookie 4x01 Life and Death Recap ****Spoiler city****

I promised a friend a recap, since she can’t watch until tomorrow, so I figured I might as well post it for anyone who wants to see it? I never can figure out a read more break on mobile so fair warning, DON’T LOOK IF YOU DON’T WANT SPOILERS 😁

This is just a rough draft thing, so it’s probably full of typos.

@hamburgerheroes @piratesbooty63fan

Phew… crazy first episode. Unfortunately I was fielding calls and texts about a work issue the whole time so my viewing was very disjointed. So I’m rewatching as I type this recap for you.

The episode is preceded with a recap, of course. Then the opening scene is Chen, Bradford, Nolan, and Harper in tactical gear approaching a warehouse.

While waiting for the go order from Grey, grey has flashbacks of a few hours earlier. They realize Lopez and West are both missing, they find out La Fiera has escaped and assume she took them, then they get security footage of the kidnapping and are watching it at the station, still in their wedding attire. As we suspected. The footage shows Lopez being put in a vehicle and West struggling, then shot in the back, then stuffed into the trunk. Everyone is in shock, Lucy is crying.

Lots of fans are really upset about Jackson, and I get it. But the show runner and writers had no choice. Here’s excerpts from an interview with Alexi

At this point, we’re back to Grey a different officer wants to wait, but Grey says it’s been 3 hours and they need to move fast and orders them in.

They breach the warehouse, find an empty get away car and Angela’s wedding dress on the floor. Lucy moves to pick it up, Nolan stops her, there is a trip wire to explosives under the SUV. They leave the warehouse and realize they had a plane waiting there from the tracks it left.

Next we see La Fiera, Angela, and her female goon in the airplane. Angela assumes they’re going to Guatemala so she can torture and kill her slowly, but La Fiera tells her (as we suspected) that she’ll be kept alive until Angela safely delivers her (La Fiera’s) baby (of course)

Next Grey and Wesley are meeting with a DEA bigwig who essentially says, we ain’t helping. Next they arrive in the compound in Guatemala and talk about how impenetrable it is, etc. She meets the doctor who will be attending her. Angela tries to tell the doctor not to touch her and La Fiera says if she resists she will be sedated for the rest of the pregnancy.

Back at the station Lucy is talking with Nolan, beating herself up about not seeing the trip wire. She’s really just upset about Jackson, she says she can’t believe he’s gone and she and Nolan hold hand for a moment.

Tim and Harper join them and discuss if Lopez is still alive and why. Lucy comes up with the theory that La Fiera wants Angela’s baby as the ultimate revenge. Grey tells them the DEA won’t help. They talk about how Jackson scratched his killer and they’re running DNA. Grey tells them all to go home and get some rest while they work on a plan. ***Chenford alert***

Lucy says she can’t go home and see Jackson’s empty room. Tim says, “you don’t have to, you can stay with me”

Dying!

She says she doesn’t want to impose and this is where he says she shouldn’t be alone right now. She says thanks, he says yeah, then she wonders how Wesley is holding up.

Cut to Wesley meeting with some bad guy and offering to turn dirty lawyer in exchange for finding out where Angela is. I do not like this development and what it can/will do to them in the future.

Cut to a short, weird interaction with Lopez and the female bodyguard then, back to Chenford.

We see Tim in his jammies, setting up his couch to sleep on. The house looks different than I remember it and surely it has at least 2 bedrooms, so why the couch 🤷🏻‍♀️. Anyway. He looks adorable in his jammies. He says, “I’ll take the couch”. Lucy walks out of presumably his bedroom and says she thought he was setting up the couch for her. He says he’s not going to have a guest sleep on the couch and she says she’s not going to kick him out of his bed. He says okay, gets up. Looks a bit awkward, a bit nervous. Asks her if she needs anything. She says “the last 24 hours back”, he says he doesn’t have that power. She says, “a hug” and he says, “yeah. Come here” in a soft voice that nearly made me combust! He hugs her. As they go to part things get all UST, he croaks out “night”, can’t quite meet her eyes. Meanwhile she’s definitely got the “realization” light bulb starting to go off slowly. Still a bit confused. He goes to his room and flops into bed. Obviously affected by what just happened. she is the same out on the couch. Fidgety with nervous energy. He looks toward the door like he’s about to go back out there to her, say something more (do something more?) she looks toward his door from the couch, obviously contemplating same. Back to him purposefully looking away from the door, back to her making her decision. She’s pushing the covers off about to go to his door, when his door suddenly opens. He’s on the phone saying “yeah, okay, we’ll be right there”. She tries to pretend she wasn’t already up and moving toward the door. He says Wesley knows where Angela is and they head into the station.

Oh man, it was sooo gooood!!!

Next it’s the Wesley telling them that he knows where they’re holding Angela. They all say they want to help, but Grey says how’re we gonna do that . They bring up “Max” the covert government guy from the counterfeit money case. Grey says fine, reach out. He tasks Tim, Harper, and John to start tactical plan and says Lucy will stay with him to run the murder case. Then he takes a moment to congratulate Nolan on officially becoming a P2. They get the DNA back, the killer is a 17 year old kid.

Government guy shows up at Nolan’s they coerce him into helping. They go to Guatemala separately from Wesley who is supposed to get a meeting with La Fiera without getting killed. Nyla and Tim look hot playing with military surveillance toys while John steals the plans to La Fiera’s compound from the architect.

Lucy and Grey go after the killer. Grey has a really great scene after cornering the killer and he and Lucy take him in.

Back at the compound Wesley gets to see Angela. John tells Nyla and Tim that he has the plans and there’s a weakness, but the drone shows that the weakness has been fixed so they have to go to plan B. Nyla does not like plan B!

Cut to a very sad scene of Lucy finally going home and looking at Jackson’s room as he left it. Tim calls, says they’re going to plan B. Lucy, as well, does not like plan B. She says to give her a minute to get set up. Tim then radios government guy Max, who also does not like plan B. They decide on a different extraction point and he reminds them if they aren’t there at the agreed upon time they will be left behind.

They alert Wesley with fireworks. Turns out plan B is him injecting Angela with pitocin to start contractions so that they’ll have to transport her out of the compound to the hospital. Nyla will have a drug to counterreact the pitocin at the hospital.

Unfortunately, they separate Angela and Wesley. He’s put in a different car to take him away and kill him so Nolan goes after Wesley while Tim and Nyla get set up at the hospital. Lucy is tapped into a satellite giving them info on the vehicles, etc. Tim says, thanks, we got it from here”. Lucy says, “Tim”, the tension clear in her voice. “Please be careful”. With more significance than just one officer to another. He’s in business mode and replies, “I always am”.

Bradford and Harper ambush LaFiera et al. Angela gets into the hospital with Tim and Nyla and gives Angela the reversal shot. As they make their escape to the helicopter LaFiera follows and fires on them, grazing Angela’s leg, she turns and shoots La Fiera, killing her. They make it to the chopper, tell Max they need to get Wesley and Nolan, he says no, they all point their guns at him and he decides to make the stop.

Wesley and Nolan fight their two bad guys (Nolan simply must save the day in each episode). They make it to the chopper, everyone is safe and they get the hell out of dodge.

Then, the time jump. It’s 3 months later and Angela and Wesley are arriving home from the hospital with their son to a surprise welcome home party with Grey, Nolan, Harper, and Chen. They’ve stocked their freezer and bought them a second freezer and stocked that too. Tim is happy and relaxed. Lucy is a bit overly cheerful, it’s obviously a bit forced. She and Nyla present Angela with a basket full of teas and herbs and cookies tailored to uterine health and breast milk production (as she would). Nyla admits that it was all Lucy when she walks away. That it was good for Lucy to concentrate on something positive. This makes Angela turn a bit sad and reflective. The show ends with Angela holding her baby and standing at Jackson’s grave updating him on her life and how she misses him and hopes by the time her leave is over that she’ll be able to face the station without him in it. She then reveals (again, as we suspected) that her baby’s name is Jackson😢

[danny-chase]

ok need to know (haven't read rhato): Is rhato 2011 legit the worst comic you've ever read? what is the worst comic you've ever read

*this got really long so warning for incoming rant*

It might be a tie for Robin 1993, because Tim is so freaking boring the entire time. He literally is so boring and I'm at the point where the art is so bad the panels are incomprehensible. The best three issues of the comic are where the main character isn't the title character which i think says so much

Like no offense to Tim stans but he comes off like a "nice guy" tm, he literally watches his girlfriend sleep from the rafters, he cheats on his girlfriend and I'm supposed to like him? He yells at his alcoholic roommate and that magically cures him? I find Tim so unlikable he's literally just a "nice guy" and the narrative doesn't recognize that or treat any of his behavior as problamatic, and it's literally just a reflection of Dixon's political beliefs.

It's saving grace is that I can actually follow Dixon's writing whereas Lobdell is incomprehensible, and Dixon gave Dick and Tim bonding moments, which despite everything else being awful, was cute. Idk who picked up Tim's run but the issues after were so wordy i wanted to poke my eyes out and then the art got so bad i can't look at it after that.

I read three issues of Pirds of Prey rebirth and that's also in the running because it was the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my life and it is literally a crime that they gave up disabled babs for babsgirl

Batman and Robin Eternal is also on this list because dear lord, i read it the first time and hadn't read Batgirl 2000 yet, but they completely destroyed Cass's characterization and obliterated any hopes to recover her character because now fans like the new character (which rhato 2011 did to Roy). AND LITERALLY THERE WAS NO POINT SYNDER WANTED TO INTRODUCE CASS BUT NO DIDIO WAS LIKE SHE'S BANNED BECAUSE GOD FORBID WE HAVE STRONG FEMALE LEGACY CHARACTERS

Also all of the guys characters were so flat it's not hard to see where the 1 dimensional view of the characters Robins draws upon is coming from. Literally you describe each character in that comic with one word.

Hmm what else should i shit on

The jasonbabs scenes in Batman eternal were so freaking cursed, i read Nightwing #93 and dear lord was that bad, I read the Mirage storyline too. And the 1 year later stuff (Brothers in Blood was funny bad) but that whole comic absolutely made Dick a playboy and i hate it so much (give me back demi Dick Grayson DC i know you have him somewhere)

Nightwing 1996 wasn't much better than Robin 1993, but at least i wasn't bored out of my mind the entire time because the pacing was halfway decent and Dick came off as likeable, despite the abysmal content

Titans 1999 had a plot line where they tried fostering children together and they thought one girl was autistic but it turned out there was a man from another dimension living in her head that made her appear autistic and i... WHAT????

I read the Rise of Arsenal and some of the story continued in Titans 2008 (which dear lord they draw Kory like she's missing ever internal organ) and oh my god it was so bad. There's an issue where they retcon everyone into hating Roy as children and it was so bad. Like seriously what was the point? AND LIAN DYING WAS SO FUCKING STUPID she was literally the bright spot in so many comics i refuse to forgive DC

Outsiders 2003 is just blatantly outdated and has racist sayings littered all over the place and Young Justice 98 treats Anita so racistly i can't it was so light hearted there was no need, Cissie and Cassie are straight up cruel to her for no reason, and then she uses "voodoo" magic and has to get naked -- whhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyy

I also tried reading Morrisons Batman Incorporated 2011 to get context on Damian's death arc and oh my god it's the worst. Catwoman kept unironically saying meow in the most objectifying way possible and i had to meow meow my way out of there

I read Frank Millers Batman and Robin Allstar. A mistake. And I now know how bad Batman and Robin 2009 was to Talia (i didn't know anything about her from before Dixon era Talia - which isn't as bad as Morrison Talia, but is still pretty bad).

I'm sure there's more but i can't think of specific criticisms right now. I think Robin 1993 and RHATO 2011 are tied for worst place comics, because RHATO is so bad i literally can't understand it, and Robin is so bad i find it painful to read

*cries* I've read so many awful comics i can't even scale them on levels of bad anymore

[peeterparkr]

perennial;tom holland|seven.

chapter seven: yellow roses

↳ flower meaning: jealousy, infidelity, apology, broken heart, intense emotion, dying love, extreme betrayal

Pick one. 

chapter summary: dried flowers on walls and ‘dirty’ dancing

pairing: tom holland x y/n

warnings: angsty? just a bit,  fluffy, mentions of sex 

word count: 8.1k

SOCIAL MEDIA BEFORE THE CHAPTER:

masterlist & profiles   six:  in which y/n wakes up and Tom doesn’t. 

previous chapter next chapter   perennial masterlist.

perfidy  ( series masterlist)

wanna be tagged?

Tags aren’t working so yeah. Sorry for posting late. I am too busy with school, and my job and  life and yeah so I hope you enjoy it. 

Tom woke up alone. He thought he wouldn’t, for the first time in months he thought he’d finally wake up by her side, kiss her cheek, pull her close to him and nuzzle into her hair as he asked for five more minutes of sleep.  He hadn’t, and that had bothered him, just a little. 

No, it had bothered him a lot. To wake up alone when you expect not to, hurts. So damn much. Because he didn’t know the reason for it now. 

Of course, she probably hadn’t run away, he thought. Maybe she’d woken up early to get her morning tea, or maybe she was making breakfast or whatever y/n did now. Did he still know her? Did he know her routine? 

He knew she had changed. He had expected her to, of course. He had, too. In a good way. Well that was what he thought or liked to believe apparently. 

He wondered why she had never called, not once. He thought about doing it, several times. Had it ever crossed her mind? To call him? Because it had crossed his mind, every day. 

Of course, his friends had stopped him from doing it, and Harry, Harry had stopped him from doing it. 

“I want to call her,” Tom had stated once. 

“Don’t, she did this to give you some freedom, so you could heal.”

Freedom that turned into severe loneliness. Tom had never really experienced it, and though he was not alone, he had felt lonely. Sometimes he couldn’t quite understand why, it’s not like before they dated they were that close. 

Or were they? And had Tom never truly acknowledged how important to each other they were? Because of course he knew she was important but he hadn’t realized how much she had influenced his life. 

For better or for worse, that is. Not always the brightest side. But… she was there. And for those months, she disappeared. And it wasn’t like when she had disappeared after that club night. At that time, Tom had tried to reach out, subtly. 

Had she felt this way? This heart-clenching way? Tom didn’t understand why he had felt so lonely. How they’d gone out to bars, and the music didn’t cheer him up, how he had walked through the crowded streets but not a single person seemed to notice. How his friends would laugh but he couldn’t even get the joke. 

He missed her. Because she’d always been there, one way or another. 

And now she wasn’t there by his side to kiss him good morning, she wasn’t there to run her hands through his hair while she gave him a shy smile, and the sun was pooling her whole bed, and thought it was warm, Tom still felt cold and like a stranger in that bedroom. Bedroom that he hadn’t stopped to take a glance at.

He knew y/n was so dramatic and chaotic and always, always, always made everything for the aesthetic and for her big drama show. Her room was her set, he knew, the place where her secrets hid. 

He wondered what had happened to Tim’s box, and it was nowhere to be found. There was no box in sight. The Polaroids weren’t the usual y/n Polaroids. She had some with James, and her parents. But most of them were from different places. 

He could see some Polaroids from New York, even one from Rome but most of them were new. Most of them had flowers. 

That was her latest theme, it seemed. Flowers. Flowers taped to her wall, flowers in her nightstand, near the small mirror. Flowers. 

Which seemed so very like her, Tom thought. He saw her  dried flowers and they seemed oddly familiar but he couldn’t quite figure out where from. 

He continued scanning her room, it made him happy there was absolutely no trace of Timmy in that room. There was no sight of Tom, either, whatsoever. 

Well, maybe there was. Because there were pictures of New York, of Rome. Not sight of him but it was subtle. Very subtle. He saw the vinyl he gave her about a year ago on her birthday. Which made him think. Just a year ago, Tim had planned the perfect party for y/n. A year ago, Tom thought he had lost his chance with y/n, for good. A year ago, Tim had been the one that made y/n: “The one that got away.” Of course, not now, but it seemed that Tim really had been y/n’s endgame. Of course, Tom didn’t believe that now. But he was still not fond of the fact that his… that y/n was sleeping next to that man, literally, since their rooms were just right by the other. 

That pissed him off. He wasn’t sure why it bothered him so much if he was sure y/n loved him. But thinking about it just… bothered him. 

Tom had felt so lonely. So lonely and he had needed her so badly. And waking up without her one more time hurt. But he knew she probably was out there, making breakfast, or working on something, maybe gushing to Emma what had happened. 

He couldn’t think of why she hadn’t been there. That wasn’t really her thing, he knew, at least in New York she always waited until he woke up too. But he was probably overthinking. That was something Tom had learned while being apart. He had never really dealt with it, but he guessed that was what broken hearts do, they change you. 

And he’d never dealt a heartbreak like that one before, not that harsh. Maybe that was why he felt lonely again in her bed. 

This breakup had felt like it had been for good. He hadn’t told her about that, and they probably still had to talk about it, but Tom had really felt he had lost her forever. Because they were hurt, because they were apart, and because their life had taken different paths. Because everything was different. But then he had the night before as the sole proof they had both missed the other. 

He sat up and rubbed his face. Not wanting to deal with it, trying to get that thought out of his mind. So impossibly stuck there. But he was there now, right? But there was a lot they had to talk about, and maybe sleeping together could have been a setback. Except, he really thought it wasn’t, because it wasn’t sex. Yes, of course, it was passionate and hot and Tom probably wanted to repeat it. But it was intimate and their connection was still there. He knew it wasn’t having sex for the sake of sex. Though both of them had been desperate for it, he knew it wasn’t about the sex. It was more than that, so desperate, longing to touch the other as if there was a magnet pulling them together, bodies glued to each other as hearts synchronized in a sole emotion, fast heartbeats combined with short breaths and the sound of their names over and over again. And then so calm, and quiet, and tender, heartbeats getting steadier, 

Nobody said it would be easy, and Tom was well aware it wouldn’t be. Not for now because there were still secrets waiting to come out, and conversations waiting to be heard, and tears ready to be shed. He wished he could skip to the part where they were happy, if that part was ever to be reached. And though it wasn’t simple, it was something that he aspired. 

Though it was crooked, and he didn’t want to go there again. Not repeat the same mistakes they’ve done before. And so far it looked that way, from enemies who had to apologize, and who barely talked to desperately trying to hook up. He didn’t want to repeat history. 

They needed a new one, one that didn’t end in a heartbreak. Not their heartbreak, at least. 

He tried to look up for his clothes, his shirt was nowhere in sight. Though he probably knew who was wearing it. He knew y/n had a thing for wearing his clothes. He didn’t mind, he possibly couldn’t mind. 

He walked out of the room, shirtless as he sneaked out of y/n’s room, he didn’t see her right as he came out, so he walked to the kitchen, she wasn’t there, and not on the couch. Her apartment was small, so it rubbed the wrong idea on him. Had she left? 

And then he saw her walk out of what Tom assumed was Emma’s room. Or so he hoped it was her room. 

Emma locked the door right after y/n had walked out. 

“Very mature, Emma, very mature,” y/n whispered, rolling her eyes. 

“What do you know, y/n? You also did something stupid.”  Emma yelled from the other side of the room. 

“At least I accept it,” y/n yelled back. 

Tom chuckled slightly and awkwardly as he saw her, standing there against the door, wearing his t-shirt just like he had expected her to. 

Y/N finally turned around to see him, she blushed instantly. 

“Oh, hi,” she said softly, a smile spreading on her face. 

“Morning,” Tom answered walking over. 

She seemed nervous, embarrassed as she shuffled her feet, watching him. “Did you sleep well?” 

He had, for that matter. For the first time in months he’d finally slept peacefully. He had slept, for that matter. Not once had he woken up in the middle of the night to stare at the moon. So dramatic and melancholic but he couldn’t help it. 

He wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her close to him. “Hm,” he smiled, glance going up from her eyes to her lips. “Thought I wouldn’t wake up alone for the first time in months.” 

She avoided his gaze. “Sorry, Emma—made some noise and woke me up and—“

“And you did something stupid,” Tom pointed out. “I can only assume I am stupid in that equation.” 

“Don’t be so harsh on yourself,” she smirked. “You’re stupid in every equation.” 

He laughed, and then leaned over to kiss her cheek. 

She smiled, as his lips continued to pepper her face with small and soft kisses. 

“Tommy,” she whispered. 

“Hm?” He travelled down to her neck.

“Stop,” she giggled. 

He sighed as he stopped. “Hm, it’s only fair if you’re wearing my t-shirt.” 

“I—It was the first thing I found.” 

“In your room?” He pushed, laughing, 

She blushed looking away. “Yes, all my clothes disappeared,” she stated, walking her fingers through his chest. 

“How awfully convenient,” he smirked. She looked up at him and locked her eyes with his. As if both of them knew they had to talk and were avoiding it. Tom felt naked. And not for the fact that he was technically half naked and he was shivering each time her fingers brushed against him. He felt completely like his true self, he didn’t have to hide anything, but then again… they were alone. Even if Emma was on the other side of the door, they were alone. 

“You’re doing it again,” y/n mumbled looking away.

Tom laughed with confusion. “What am I possibly doing?”

“Last night you gave me those same eyes and look where we ended up,” she pointed out. 

He coughed, “Then with more reason I’m not stopping,” he smirked and finally pulled her close enough to kiss her. He felt her smile against the kiss. He pulled her and clumsily made his way back to y/n’s room, crashing against walls and furniture on their way. 

Tom quickly closed the door and slammed her against the wall as he kissed his way down her neck 

“Tom no wait—“she said. 

“Hm, need a cold shower again?” He asked. 

But she was pushing him away. “No, no, Tommy.” 

He sighed, still pressing soft clumsy kisses behind her ear. 

“Tom, no, really—We—“she sighed. 

“What?” He asked, lips brushing against her jawline. She closed her eyes and sighed heavily. “I was supposed to be angry at you,” she sounded disappointed at herself. 

He finally pulled away. “Hm why?”

“Because you’re an idiot,” she whispered. It seemed like she was trying to get back into her senses, yet she still hadn’t let him go.

“I am,” Tom admitted. “But—what does that have to do with anything?” 

She gulped. “Tom—we, we have to talk about it,” she sighed. “We can’t—“

“I know, we can’t keep avoiding it,” he bit his lip. “But maybe just— a few more minutes and we can talk about it on set,” he begged as he pushed her hair back. 

“No,” she finally managed to get out of his grip. “No, no… no.” 

“Fine, no then,” Tom watched her sit down on her bed. 

“You shouldn’t be doing my script,” she stated, avoiding his gaze. 

He rushed to sit down, taking her hands. “No, hey—But hey I want to, I really want to make something incredibly cool—“

“You don’t even direct,” she pointed out and watched him. 

“I—Look, it’s my first time…. But Harry does, and I have vision and I am part of the story.” He took her hand.

“Tommy,” she whispered. 

“Y/N.”

“And I know this kind of thinking brought us to our doom but I can’t—what if something  bad happens?” She asked him. “you know Tom and y/n type of bad, our own particular way of screwing things up.” 

“It won’t happen.”

“But if it does?” She questioned. “And you try to get back at me with the script?”

“I promise I won’t.” 

“But you really have to promise it,” she pleaded. 

“I promise y/n.” 

She pulled her hand away from him and stood up, running her hands through her hair, stressed enough. 

“No, you don’t understand Tom, this is my dream,”she sounded stressed. “this is the biggest dream I’ve ever had and I finally got a shot and I… I guess I forgot about it last night because I… Because…”she stared at him again. “I—Because I’m an idiot…. and I was blinded by the moment, but I never really—“she gulped.”I need you to understand this, you can fuck me up, if you hate me, like I don’t know, okay? But don’t fuck up my dreams, if this is your plan, if it-“

“No,” he stopped her. “Y/N—“

“No, no, listen to me,” she seemed stressed. “I don’t care if—You, whatever happened in the last few months,” she sounded hurt now. “Whatever happened or…” 

The last few months? Tom was confused by that statement, whatever did she mean…. 

“Whatever happens… Just don’t fuck my script up, please. It’s my dream, and if you—“

“Y/N, I wouldn’t do that.” 

It hurt that she still believed Tom was only a weapon designed to destroy her. 

“No, I know, I know,” she cleared her throat. “I’m—sorry, I—It’s… we still have a lot going on.” 

Tom was angry then. Was she the one supposed to be angry? Wasn’t he the one supposed to doubt her? Because he didn’t. 

Not entirely. Only… he understood she did have some reason to be upset about the script. Though he wasn’t sure how to tell her that he stupidly thought it would be his way of making their paths cross again. He knew their breakup had been hard enough to deal with and adding being apart and going different ways wouldn’t help. So his stupid mind decided to make their ways cross. Though he thought he hadn’t had a chance for it, but—He found it so easily. And if he hadn’t called he was scared nobody else would. The project was risky and different and not—not something people would like to dive into. Less if she was a debut writer. 

But Tom didn’t want to tell her that. That had he not offered to be a director, there was barely any possibility of having it. He wouldn’t ruin it, no. Less now that he had actually had the chance to read the wonderful script she’d written. 

He’d judged it. Yes, the first pages were harsh to him but then—Then he realized it, the character growth, the development and the story and how, like y/n had said in her letter, they were supposed to fall in love. 

Though at times one may think that y/n—Valerie was supposed to end up with someone else, she couldn’t. It was Valerie and William. Tom and y/n.

“We’re not ready, Tom,” she whispered again. “And I know, how dare me to set back when I was the one to ask you to stay and the one to…” She cleared her throat.”To walk in the shower with you.” 

“Yeah, but it’s… It doesn’t mean we have to either take a step forward or backwards,” Tom said. “I don’t think-” 

“I know, I’m not saying not to acknowledge it, I mean,” she took a deep breath. “I mean what happened last night is just like our confirmation that yes, we still have… Well I still have feelings for you.” 

“And I have feelings for you.” 

“But,” she gulped. “I don’t think this whole… ‘Let’s make out and forget about it’ thing will work,” she pointed out. “We—look, I—Although I may be… although I am acting this way there’s a lot of things we need to talk about.” 

“I know.” 

“But…” 

Tom frowned. “But?” 

“Whatever happens while we are working on anything related to Dos a Dos we won’t give in okay? Not for good or bad,” she stated. 

“Alright.” 

“I’m talking about being strictly professional,” she continued. 

“Okay.” 

“No fighting,” she sounded cold. 

“I know.” 

“And also,” she coughed. “No flirting.” 

Tom chuckled. “Hm that’s gonna be hard.” 

She sighed. “So where are we going to go from this?” 

Tom stayed quiet. It was harder than he thought it would be. He hadn’t healed, not completely. Maybe he hadn’t realized it until then, how he had avoided his pain just to be with her, and now that they were standing on that point, he didn’t know where to go. Why was this so incredibly complicated? 

He looked around the room and stared at the flowers taped to her wall again, too familiar but he still didn’t get where from. Maybe the flowers only reminded him of y/n. 

“Where do we want to go from this?” Tom asked. 

“I don’t know,” she gulped. “And do we want to go together?” 

Tom looked at her again. “I… well, I… I hope? Or… don’t you want it?” 

Y/N nodded. “Yeah it’s just.” 

He feared whatever her next sentence would be. 

“It sounds,” she looked down. “It sounds like a whim but… And it sounds illogical, doesn’t it? You and I, how after everything we’re still willing to try it. We’re too stupid, and…” She chuckled dryly. “And you know, I’m crazy, and you’re… Too stubborn,” she gulped. “And I don’t know if I want it, you know? For us to fall down another time, and let our pride and our immaturity win over us again, you know? I don’t think either of us can afford another heartbreak.” 

Tom knew she was right. 

“It seems like we are sentenced to fail,” she sighed. “But then again I know that if we don’t try it, I won’t be able to…” She squinted and chuckled. “Dunno, but I know that if I dared to ask you, neither of us would be able to move on, right?” 

“I know I wouldn’t.” 

“And I know I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night, and no cold showers would help to cool us down,” she conceited, making Tom chuckle, “and though it might be a mistake, it might be the best mistake I am willing to make.” 

Tom smiled, slightly and sadly. “Yeah,” he gulped. “And if we don’t I’ll be glued to the phone waiting for your call or trying to stop myself from calling you, but end up doing it anyway.” 

“That’s our problem, we’re always waiting for each other to make the first step and then we do take it, we both get scared,” she explained. “And though it makes no sense, and I really wished we both could either say yes or no, we both know it’s not simple.” 

“No,” He gulped. “But maybe it does have some logic to it.” 

“Hm?” 

“You and I, I mean,” he gulped. “I mean, no matter how hard we try, I’m always drawn back to you, and no matter how hard we’ve… I mean you always end up haunting my dreams.” 

“Haunting.” 

“Like a ghost,” he chuckled. “And though it makes no sense, I still feel that whole stupid and cliché thing, my heart beats the same way as yours.” 

“You’re so cheesy,” she blushed. 

He leaned to kiss her cheek. “I know, it’s disgusting.” 

She laughed. “Yes, you’re only giving me reasons to bully you.” 

“But I actually,” he smirked. “Those aren’t my words. I must admit I plagiarized them.” 

Y/N blinked watching him. “What?” 

“Well, not really, but I did,” he chuckled. “But I do remember a certain Valerie saying it, ‘my heart beats to the same rhythm as Will and maybe that’s why I can’t stay away from him’” 

Y/N instantly blushed. “Yeah, uh,” she coughed. “Yeah...Did she say that? Did-” She cleared her throat. 

“Oh, yes she did, she very much did and I’m not cutting that off the script,” he teased. “It’s-” 

“No,” she shook her head. “I--no” 

“Why are you embarrassed?” 

She chuckled. “Because it’s too cheesy.” 

“Please, y/n, we’ve all known you’re cheesy, I mean the whole boxes things, the songs, the magical moments, I mean the polaroids, please y/n all you is cheesy but with class and aesthetic, just look around your room, that vinyl over there…  the flowers hanging on your wall which-” Tom stopped. He realized it. Where he knew the dried flowers from. He knew exactly why they were so familiar. Tim’s instagram. He remembered the picture and the quote: ‘Morning Bloom’.  He gulped.

“Yeah, I know, I’m cheesy,” Y/N chuckled. 

But Tom barely heard her, he felt it. And… It could mean nothing. It could be nothing, of course. Tim loved photography and aesthetics and… It didn’t have to mean anything. It couldn’t, could it? But why had he been in her room? Was there a reason? He hated this. He felt a stab through his heart. It had to mean nothing. Right? He guessed he had to see how y/n reacted about it. It could be an old picture. But… it seemed to be the same flowers, but maybe y/n liked those and always changed them. 

He had to ask about it, he knew but not right now. He didn’t want to have that answer just yet. But he needed the answer, and he wouldn’t be able to continue but of course, ruining that moment and pull a ‘Tom’ and walk out angrily and not explain anything to her would be stupid. He wasn’t going to make the same mistakes. But god, he wanted to. Fucking Tim. Of course now he thought the picture was probably a way to shove it on Tom’s face. But… 

“Tom?” She asked again, getting him out of his trance. 

He blinked. “Huh? Yeah.. Yeah.” He gulped. “What?” 

“I… asked if you were hungry?” 

“Ah, yeah, right. Yeah.” 

But he wasn’t, not after that sudden realization. 

Emma, two rooms away from there, felt stupid. The night before had been so blurry. And she hadn’t really realized how much seeing Harry hurt her. Y/N had tried to understand the situation. How did you get to sleep with Josh? 

Emma didn’t know, for that matter. How and what had led to that? Completely clueless. Of course Josh was attractive and he hadn’t hesitated on throwing his shot, especially because he’d probably been oblivious to the obvious tension Emma felt around Harry. Maybe Josh had chosen to ignore it. He had pointed out the tension between Tom and y/n, though. 

“This is weird, but do you guys know each other?” Josh had asked. “Or did y/n/n and Tom know each other?” 

“What gave it away?” Harry had laughed. 

“Oh, you know, the fact they went from undressing each other with a glance and then trying not to cry every time they had any eye contact.” 

But what about Harry and Emma? 

One of Emma’s strengths was hiding her real feelings. She was so good at avoiding it. Probably because she wanted everyone to believe she was a tough bitch who had her life in control. Even if she was tearing apart. 

Like she was the night before. That nerve wrecking heartache she was feeling all night each time she managed to look at Harry. She tried not to. Not a single word directed to him. 

Emma was hurt. 

Sometimes it bothered her that nobody could see how much she was drowning, as if she was seen just as a casualty from Tom and y/n. Everybody liked to forget she was hurting too. Not y/n, though. Y/N tried to get her to talk, and to talk about her feelings, and to mourn about it. She didn’t.

She couldn’t. 

Only person she had been able to open up completely to was Harry, and we know how that ended. Emma was struggling because she really wished she could be like y/n, so forgiving or so stupid. Stupid enough to sleep with Tom and forget her sorrow, that is. 

But Harry and her worked differently. Harry and her were talkers. Tom and y/n, according to y/n, barely liked to talk. Or that’s what y/n had said, in their short relationship, apparently, they were more...physical. And it seemed they still were. 

Emma was nobody to tell y/n what she couldn’t or could do. And Emma had known that y/n would end up sleeping with Tom the moment she saw them hold hands during the movies. 

Emma knew Tom was more about actions, for god’s sake no matter how stupid he was, he at least had already tried to talk to y/n, he had searched for her and he had, stupidly, of course, invited himself to the movies with them. Tom wasn’t playing. Maybe that’s why y/n was so dumbly smitten with him. If he wanted, he fought for it. The man didn’t think twice before doing something and sometimes it got him in trouble, but sometimes it didn’t, and well, it led him somewhere. At least he’d gotten laid. 

Emma was very much like Tom. And she knew y/n was very much like Harry, in a way. Emma, too, liked to get what she wanted. But the truth is, she didn’t know what she wanted. Of course, last night she’d finally gotten laid. Though she had been all the time claiming she would, she had never slept with anyone before. She’d always end up thinking about Harry. 

She didn’t know where she got it from, the guts to sleep with somebody else. Maybe it was her way of telling Harry that he’d have to fight for it, that hiding in the shadows and being shy wouldn’t get him anywhere. He needed to fight back for her. 

That’s what led her to sleep with Josh, she guessed. She had tried to see how far she could get flirting with Josh, trying to make Harry jealous until he exploded or did something. Emma wanted Harry to fight for her. 

He hadn’t. 

He had let Josh flirt with her and Emma flirt with him. Why was this so damn hard? Did he not want to fight for her? 

That was the single poisonous thought that had driven Emma to sleep with Josh. She hadn’t told that to y/n, of course. 

“I just needed to, y/n.” 

That was half-true. She did need to. But of course, she didn’t want to explain that to y/n. Not really. Especially because Emma knew that y/n was to Harry what Emma was to Tim. So if y/n had reserved herself a little from telling her about Tim, then Emma would reserve herself from telling her about Harry. 

Besides y/n’s choice to sleep with Tom was a thousand times more stupid than Emma’s choice. Emma had absolutely no feelings for this other guy and she was sure Josh didn’t feel anything either. It had just been one drunken one night stand. Nothing important. It didn’t matter. 

But she guessed y/n had some points to herself to brag about. Y/N didn’t regret her night. 

Emma had gone to take a quick shower, y/n had advised her to so Tom wouldn’t suspect a thing, and Emma would have to complain about them being loud, or whatever. 

Emma, all dressed up and cleaned and trying to put on some makeup to hide the fact she hadn’t slept at all, walked out with a towel wrapped on her head. She heard y/n’s laugh coming  from the kitchen. 

She walked closer… and Emma saw it. The way they looked at each other, so, so, so in love and she finally  understood y/n. Yes, she still thought she was an idiot but she understood it, and Emma was thankful Tim hadn’t been around to see it. 

The way they were staring at each other as if they were having their very last breath and didn’t mind at all, like telling the other: you’re worth it, you’re worth my last sunshine. It was so ridiculously romantic, Emma wouldn’t normally be a fan of that, but she felt butterflies just from watching them. Like when you’re watching a movie and see the lead romance and long for it. 

The way their laugh emerged into one and how they were trying to touch each other, not with lust but with curiosity. Not like one of those clingy couples you see on the street that are always glued to each other, no, Emma was even jealous of what they were having, hands so desperately trying to connect with each other. Magnetized skins. Not a single kiss, but it felt wrong watching them, they weren’t even touching in any compromising way. But they felt so intimate. 

Emma realized it then, why y/n was so confused. Because Emma remembered how Tim looked at y/n, too. What did that girl have that had those two idiotic men so mermerized with her? 

She didn’t blame y/n, no, she couldn’t. And Emma wished she’d seen the way Y/N looked at Tom before the engagement party incident. Then she wouldn’t have doubted her.  Because the way y/n was beaming and shining and glowing near Tom was incredible. She wouldn’t have doubted y/n. 

She’d doubted Harry, of course. That was the problem. Because why wouldn’t she doubt him? Even more now that she saw the way Tom was blown away by y/n. And how Tim was, too.

But when she saw Tom and y/n, she was reminded of her own love story, maybe the butterflies were caused because she recalled Harry, and staring into his eyes and smiling for no damn reason. Loving him for the sake of loving him. Giggling and having intimacy without even having to touch the other. 

It mirrored Emma and Harry, just as they had become engaged. Making breakfast together, music playing in the background, Harry placing a sweet kiss to her cheek, her feeling like she was in heaven. 

And she saw it now, the way y/n probably was in Cloud 9 as Tom said something to make her smile. 

It wasn’t the first time she’d seen her smile that way. Because she’d also seen y/n with Timmy, their chemistry was undeniable. It made no sense how she was seeing her now with Tom when just a few days before she’d seen her laughing with Tim, a loud laugh and a wide smile on her face, after he had said the most stupid comment, yet y/n was almost on the floor, both of them making the same stupid jokes to bother Emma. Timmy and y/n were basically the same person, it was even pathetic how stupidly alike they were. Everybody had said it, for a reason, Emma knew how perfect they were for each other. 

Emma had seen how Timmy was trying to flirt with y/n, he wasn’t subtle, and y/n did answer to his flirting from time to time. 

But Emma guessed that’s not really how love works, or was it? 

Emma could quite put her kind around y/n, but she understood why she didn’t let go off Tim either. 

But Emma also knew that to get that smile from y/n, Timmy had had to fight. While Tom only had to show up, so simply. 

Emma understood it, she wouldn’t let go off someone who made her feel...alive. Though that seemed stupid and cliché. But she’d seen a change just in two days y/n had… changed and felt. Y/N had cried, and yelled and now laughed. 

Maybe Emma wanted that, too. She knew she could feel with Harry. But… Harry probably had given up on her. Maybe Emma had to be like Tom, and make sure Harry felt something, too. 

“Morning, idiots,” Emma said before taking off the towel. “Thanks for not letting people sleep last night.” 

Tom jumped and quickly turned to see Emma. “Oh-- Hi, uh, I’m sorry.” 

Y/N only side-eyed her. 

Emma laughed. “So, you guys are a thing now?” She asked, and judging by both their reactions, she shouldn’t have. Both of them had only widened their eyes and panicked. “You know what, don’t answer that, but next time get… a hotel room or whatever.” 

Tom and y/n blushed, y/n even coughed. 

“I didn’t hear you come in,” Tom pointed out. “Sorry.” 

Emma rolled her eyes. “You guys were busy.” 

Tom blushed harder. “I’m… really sorry.” 

“No, don’t be, as long as I get some breakfast which--” Emma frowned. “Pancakes, huh, y/n?” 

Y/N looked up. “Yeah, what about it?” 

“You guys are totally cliché,” Emma rolled her eyes. 

Tom laughed. “It was my idea, sorry,” he shrugged. 

“And you didn’t complain, y/n?” Emma frowned. 

Y/N chuckled. “Why would I?” 

“Why would she? It’s her favorite food,” Tom chuckled. 

Emma smiled, slightly. Y/N was a mystery to her. 

“So, did you guys get any inspiration for the movie?” Emma asked. 

Y/N and Tom both watched her with surprise. 

“From Dirty Dancing, idiots,” Emma rolled her eyes. “You both really-” 

Tom chuckled. “Yeah,” he coughed. “I did, I did… Um, I need some 80’s songs, we, I’ve been thinking about it, the whole setlist for the dance and-” 

“That’s what you’ve been thinking about?” y/n frowned, laughing just slightly. “That?” 

Tom chuckled, and nudged her lightly. 

“Oh, please, but you guys shouldn’t have any trouble with that,” Emma commented. “Y/N here probably knows more about the 80’s than Madonna or George Michael themselves.” 

y/n chuckled nodding. “That might be true.” 

“Might be?” Tom rolled his eyes. “You know everything about the 80’s.” 

Emma grinned. “Besides, I know you, uh, okay, I might give you some ideas…” Emma bit her lip. “God, I know no 80’s songs, I know 70’s, that’s my thing, so if you guys ever need some 70’s advice, that’s my thing, but.. 80’s…” She gulped. “Uh, dunno, that catchy song um.. ‘I think We’re alone now’...” 

Both Tom and y/n once again were awkward. Could Emma say something without making them feel awkward? It was so weird and stupid. 

“Or not…” Emma finished. “But okay, so… thoughts on the script Tom, any big changes?” 

“I thought of changing the name, not going to lie,” he said. 

Y/N frowned. “Tom! What even to?” She nudged him.

“Dunno, the story of how y/n y/l/n broke Tom Holland’s heart and still has him wrapped around her finger,” Tom joked. 

“That’s a very stupid name, it wouldn’t be marketable,” Emma pointed out. “But we could change it to the script that changed all the Holland’s lives.” 

“It’s not catchy,” Y/N commented, she coughed. “I chose the name because its back to back in French, and it’s a dance step and it’s a-” 

“Metaphor, like everything you do,” Tom finished. 

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Not everything but… Yes, a metaphor and it’s a play on vis-a-vis which means face to face.” 

“Alright,” Tom grinned. 

“And dos in Spanish is… two.. so it’s just a play on words two.. To two…” Y/N coughed. 

“Alright, so I need to know more about the metaphors,” Tom grinned. “My brain is to dumb to get it.” 

“So... y/n, look I don’t want to ruin this adorableness or awkwardness you guys have but you’re meeting cast today and I don’t want you to be late, so, I need you both to get going, and stop being adorable, it makes me sick, and please Thomas, go get some clothes, don’t show up shirtless with the cast.” 

Eventually Tom had left, and Emma had seen them both hesitate when it came to y/n saying goodbye to him. He did kiss her before he left. 

Which left Emma and y/n alone to deal with the conversation, except y/n hadn’t stayed there, she had rushed to get ready. Leaving Emma alone with her thoughts again. 

But she didn’t even have the time for it before her phone rang. 

“Timothée,” she answered. “Why are you bothering me so early in the morning?” 

He chuckled from the other side of the line. “You’re so nice to have as a best friend.” 

“I’m a delight, I know,” she sighed. “So.” 

“So you slept with Josh?” Tim asked. 

“Oh, so you’re calling for that,” Emma coughed. “Thought you were going to ask about y/n first, that’s what you usually do.” 

Tim gulped. “I don’t.” 

“You know you do,” Emma sighed. “But yes, I slept with Josh, big deal.”

“You’re avoiding your feelings again,” he pointed out. “So do you want to talk about that, maybe?” 

“No, I don’t,” Emma coughed. “Look, I freaked out and... Josh was flirting and then Harry did nothing to impede it and-” 

“There it is,” Timmy sighed. “So you slept with someone to feel like you were liked huh?” 

It seemed that a lot of people did that. Sleeping with someone because they felt like shit. 

“You really can’t judge me, huh, you’re one to sleep with your exes when you know they’re-” She didn’t finish her sentence. It was too cruel to say it, and Tim was her best friend and he didn’t deserve that. 

“They’re in love with someone else, yeah,” Tim coughed. “I know.”

“Well, what did you realize? Or did you only call to judge my actions?” 

“No,” Timmy said. “I’m sorry, I want to help you out but seriously Emma you can’t keep avoiding it.” 

“And you can’t avoid it, either, Tim, you are avoiding what’s actually happening and you haven’t tried to address it.” 

“What do you want me to address?” Tim asked. 

“Oh, piss off and ask away, I know you want to.” 

Timmy stayed quiet for a bit, but then took the guts to ask her. “Has y/n talked to Tom?” 

Could Emma tell him? Did she have to tell him? It was none of her business but at the same time she knew it was. It kind of was. Emma guessed y/n was too worried on what to do with Tom that she’d forgotten that she’d kind of given hope to Tim. 

Did she have to tell Tim? Because she didn’t want him to be hurt, but he would be, anyways. 

“They’ve talked, and I mean, he went out with us last night so...” Emma started, deciding on the way what she had to tell him. “You know how it is.” 

Tim gulped. “I love her.” 

“That’s your big realization?” Emma asked. “That’s not news.” 

“No,” Tim sighed. “I just… We talked that night.” 

“Oh, you did?” Emma frowned. 

“Yes,” Tim coughed. “And--” 

“What?” 

“Well, she did say she would always be in love with me,” Tim said. “And...Well, it’s weird, okay? She said I had been the only man she’d ever fallen in love with.” 

That wasn’t true. Emma frowned. “But-” 

“Besides Tom,” Tim finished. “And that she… She didn’t believe that her and Tom could work out, that deep in her heart she didn’t believe they could work out, and that she was scared and-” 

“Tim, look, I….” Emma didn’t know how to tell him. Because she had seen y/n and y/n was so in love with Tom. It was so obvious. 

“I look, I know, I know she’s too blinded by Tom right now, but look, she was in love with him before she dated me, and I still… Like, I just need her to see that he’s not the right choice, you know? That sure, whatever, she always wanted to kiss him, but that’s not… Not what love is, you know? It’s about a deeper connection, and we… We had that, even that night, we were both so entranced with the moment, and it wasn’t…I just need a chance to prove her, you know?” 

Emma didn’t know what to tell him. Because she guessed that’s what y/n liked. Someone to have some initiative, after all, that’s why Y/N had dated Timmy in the end because he had fought for her. 

Which drove Emma insane, because why didn’t Harry have it? Why was Harry the one to wait around and do nothing? It made no sense. Because Emma needed him to, and y/n needed both of them to back away to have some time to herself. It was ironic, even. 

Harry. Harry. Harry. He had left early in the night after he’d given up with Emma ignoring him. Yes, she had been harsh on him by ignoring him, probably. But did she have any other choice? She had been heartbroken, he had basically told her: I won’t be able to be happy because you’re not her. 

It drove Emma insane. So, so insane. And sad. 

“Yeah, fight for her,” Emma sighed. “Anyway… I need to go, I’ll see you tomorrow…?” 

“Tonight, I’m coming home tonight.” 

Was Emma too proud? But she wouldn’t beg Harry, she wasn’t one to beg, no, no. And she wasn’t the one supposed to beg, was she? Emma was fierce and strong. 

And she had avoided Josh at all cost when they arrived at the studio. He had said hello but Emma had decided to follow y/n around instead.  The cast would be there later, and Emma was thrilled. So was y/n. She thought she’d see y/n all over Tom, kissing again, but their attitude had changed back to the same cold attitude from the day before. Well, to everyone else, but Emma had noticed their glancing. Tom staring at her. 

Emma didn’t look at Harry, but she did feel his staring. Harry was so stupid. Why didn’t he try to… say anything? He had said hello, and asked how she was doing but that was it. 

“But okay, we have to--” Tom gulped. Y/N and him were talking about the script, as if no trace of their night before. “I mean, each song needs to… We need a choreographer but for sure we have to decide the songs, I mean you have some here but I think we can… Build more from it you know?” 

“Yeah, I mean dancing is,” Harry coughed. “But we saw it last night in Dirty Dancing, though, how like… They build up from it.” 

“Of course, but I think, look, the songs we choose really have to be... “ She gulped. “Like okay, there’s Valerie who’s friends with Robbie and they have this… Like the music she listens to while with each of them is different. But there’s like two Valerie’s.” 

“The one who she is with William and the one with Teddy or Harry” Tom nodded. 

Y/N bit her lip. “Yeah, in a way, look, uh, the music,” y/n said. “It’s got to have different tones, like different 80’s songs, Valerie, as we know, likes to listen to Rock n’ Roll, and…Robbie does, too. And well, both William and Robbie are somehow into music, you know?” William with his dancing and Robbie with his band.” 

“But Robbie is rock n’ roll and William is… well,” Harry commented. “Of course, but music with William is-”

“Chaotic,” y/n added. “No, but the songs that we want to associate with William is the one they dance to, together.” 

“Yeah, and y/n by her own has to have her own songs, you know?” Y/N commented. “And… then we have Teddy who is the outsider, the poet, who showed Valerie other forms of expressing herself… you know? Look the script starts with Valerie’s heartbreak, and then Teddy comes in, and she decides to dance again, you know, cheerful music, she starts so somber and then-” 

“Okay but we could-- I mean, just an idea,” Harry coughed. “You wrote her Don’t Go Breaking My Heart,” he commented. “I mean it’s Auli’i and Jordan… They both sing, so maybe…” 

“I think I know where you’re going,” she smirked. “That would be cool.” 

“So instead of dancing, they sing?” Tom said. “Yeah, better, only singing ” 

“But they have to dance,” y/n commented. 

Tom frowned. “Yeah but-- It’s better if the only one she dances with is William.” 

“But she dances with Teddy, too,” Emma frowned as she finally chipped in. She knew where y/n had wanted to go with the script and these two men were too stupid to understand it. “It’s  Valerie who wanted to be a dancer and always danced by herself but stopped trying to pursue the dream after her heart is broken, and then Teddy, though he’s not a dancer, they dance together clumsily because…” 

“What?” Tom frowned. 

“Please, it’s like in Dirty Dancing, right?” Emma said. 

Tom blinked. “Dirty Dancing? But I don’t-” 

“Didn’t you get it from last night?” Emma wondered. “What the dancing is meant to represent?” 

Y/N coughed, awkwardly. 

Emma thought it was too simple to understand, knowing y/n’s story, it was so simply to deduce it. 

Yet, Harry and Tom were both watching the girls with confusion. Emma chuckled. “Okay, so Dirty Dancing is a coming of age film… Baby is embracing her sexuality,” Emma explained. “Even in the beginning she’s…Unexperienced, alright? The only dancing she initially knows is the dumb merengue lessons, and when she first dances it’s… Dumb and she doesn’t know how to, and then she’s exposed to the dirty dancing, which is exposing her to the sexuality, alright?” 

Tom closed his eyes and chuckled. “What but this is-”

“Throughout the film,” Emma continued. “We see Baby exploring her physicality through dancing, and it’s not about sex, it’s about her discovering her womanhood, and her being fine with it, and it’s such a nice point of view to see the film, it’s through the woman’s gaze, you know? Because we see Johnny as the sex appeal, not her, you as the viewer are growing with her… she’s getting confidence over her body, and--She explores it while partnering with Johnny Castle, and how he’s experienced and she learns it from another woman, too, you know, like she’s being transferred her knowledge, and in their first dance, Baby’s developing sexual and romantic feelings towards Johnny- and it represents--” 

Tom chuckled awkwardly again. “But okay, that’s Dirty Dancing, this is not--” Tom chuckled. “I mean I’m sure the dancing means-” 

Y/N and Emma were not moving. Emma thought they had understood it. 

“I mean,” y/n was shaking now. “Okay, well, you obviously know how the first dance scene with William and Valerie… first they don’t, though they want to... they just don’t dance together and keep screwing up.” 

“Yeah?” Harry was so confused. 

“And Valerie doesn’t feel comfortable dancing,” Emma continued, knowing y/n was too embarrassed to explain it to the boys. “And…then she dances with Teddy, and she’s cool, but--” 

“I don’t get it-” Harry said. 

But Emma was sure Tom had understood it by then. But it seemed that it had bothered him. 

“But--” Tom chipped in. “So the only two people Valerie ever danced with are William and Teddy? And...Teddy was the first person she danced with?” 

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[tinyboxxtink]

“Helpless” *Part 10*

Dammit!! I really wanted a nice and even chapter set, but I couldn’t fit the proper ending in here. So, I guess I’m just gonna have to deal. LoL. 

Side Note: I initially wanted to toss the word ‘helpless’ in there to go with the title, and now it’s just everywhere. So, sorry if it seems cheesy lol. And if you don’t notice that’s a good thing! It just bothers me...lol

Master List

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

FINALE!!

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---

You were lost in your thoughts when Olivia’s phone rang. 

“...Yeah, uh huh. Alright, thank God. Yeah she’s here,” Olivia glanced at you. “Uh huh...yes we will, Okay thank you,” She hung up the phone and looked at you again. 

“They caught your friends,” she told you.

“Oh they are NOT my friends,” you scoffed.

“I thought you said--” She started.

“Arianna was my best friend, until she got the lo--until she got Rafael shot,” You tripped over your words, not really wanting to get into the ‘love’ debacle with Olivia again.

“I see. Well, apparently they didn’t have the gun they used to shoot Rafael on them, and they’re insisting that you have it,” She stated coldly.

“I...Wha...A-Are you serious?!” You were shocked. “I-I-I-I...I don’t have a gun! I don’t have ANY gun! Y-You saw me!”

“She’s right Liv, we didn’t see a gun on her at the scene,” Rollins pointed out.

“She could have stashed it,” Olivia eyed you?

“A-Are you serious, Detective? Didn’t we just do this? I couldn’t have-- I would NEVER--” 

“Alright, why don’t we just start from the beginning, okay?” Carisi interrupted you, trying to be the mediator. 

“...The beginning of what, exactly?” You asked confused. 

“Of the night,” 

“Well, I mean you were there at the beginning,” you shrugged. 

“Right. So take us after we left you...in the kitchen,” Carisi alluded to when they had caught you making out in Fazzoli’s kitchen like teenagers.

“Right. Um, so Rafael helped me re-do all the prep we knocked over, and then he gave me a ride home, and then we--” You paused, wondering how much detail was really relevant. You decided some things were better left private.

“We said good night, and then I went upstairs and Arianna was packing, and she said we had to leave and I was never gonna see Rafael again, and when I refused she pulled a GUN on me,” You paused again, reliving the night all over again. 

“So I called Rafael because I was scared, but I know I shouldn’t have because I knew he’d want to come and be a hero or something. He wanted to call you, and I said no. Then he said he was going to come himself and I still said no! But then Arianna came in and heard him on the phone so she smashed it, and then--”

“So why exactly, did your friend pull a gun on you?” Fin interrupted you.

“I...um, because I wouldn’t do what she said,” you bit your lip.

“Right. And why did she say you both had to move and ‘never see Rafael again’?” He raised an eyebrow.

“I um-- well she, she thought he was going to come after us. Her, really,” you started to twirl your hair furiously.

“And why would he do that?”

“God..” you didn’t want to do this. You didn’t want to have to explain to actual cops what you did. But you also knew lying would bite you in the ass, so you continued.

“...Because I told him what we do,” you looked down at the floor.

“And what do you do, Y/N?” Olivia aske sternly.

“I...we...we sort of...hustle, people,” you muttered, still looking at the floor.

“You hustle people?” 

“Yeah I have this superpower--” you started, but suddenly realized you sounded like a nut job.

“A superpower,” Fin half laughed.

“Not like laser eyes superpowers. Like a...skill?” you tried finding a better word for what you did.

“A skill?”

“Yeah I can-- um, read people,” you bit your lip again, not really knowing how to explain this.

“Like a psychic?”

“No! Like...body language. Microexpressions,” You didn’t know why they would know what those were, but you really didn’t have another word for them.

“Oh like on that show!!!” Carisi chimed in excitedly, causing the squad to stare at him. “What? I love Tim Roth,”

“So what, you’re just really good at reading body language? How does that help you hustle people?” 

“I mean it’s-- it’s more involved than that,” you replied, a bit offended.

“Yeah Fin, you should see this show man. They’re basically human lie detectors,” Carisi added.

“It’s a TV Show” Fin rolled his eyes.

“But it’s based on real life science! Science I’ve studied my entire life, basically,” you  started kicking yourself, should they really know how good you were?

“...Ok well whatever, so you were scamming Rafael and he found out?”

“NO! Well…” you bit your lip. “Kind of,” 

“Kind of? My best friend could be dying because of you right now, so you better start talking straight to us,” Oliva got in your face.

“I am! Ok look: I really liked Rafael for a really long time, and then Arianna told me his name and so I kinda ‘went for it’ but I really did like him! And then Arianna told me to start ‘using him’ and getting something out of him we could use, so I started to. But when he told me that his dad used to beat the shit out of him I couldn’t--”

“I’m sorry, what?” Olivia interrupted you. 

“...He told you about his dad?” 

“I...um, yeah,” You looked down at the floor again; he probably wouldn’t have wanted you spewing his life long secret out in public like that. The squad all looked at each other in disbelief. 

“....That must be one hell of a superpower,”

“I-I can’t believe he told you-- he’s never even told ME,” Olivia blinked in disbelief. 

“...So you manipulated him into telling you intimate things, and then what? He figured it out?” Rollins persisted.

“Yeah, pretty much. But I sent him away before he told me anything else, and I told him to stay away from us!” you defended yourself. 

“And why’s that?” Fin asked.

“Because Arianna doesn’t give up, that’s why. She would have kept on digging, but I told her that he was onto us so she backed off. And then he just had to come back and talk to me, and-- and talking about ‘saving me’ from Arianna, like he could,” You rolled your eyes, why did you ever let him try?

“He wanted to ‘save’ you? From your best friend?” Rollins now raised her eyebrow.

“She was my ONLY friend. My only family. She kept me to herself, and manipulated me our whole lives,”

“Oh ok so this is all Arianna’s fault, and you’re just the victim, is that right?” Olivia scoffed. 

“NO!!! Look, I told you-- I kept telling him to back off, I even straight up ghosted him after he gave me his number. But then tonight he--”

“Insisted we have dinner at Forlini’s,” Rollins finished, making your face fall. 

You knew it; he was trying to reach you. Maybe if you had just called him back, or texted him ONE TIME, he wouldn’t have brought everybody there tonight. Then Arianna wouldn’t be on to you, and then none of this would’ve happened.

“You HAVE to believe me,” you begged them. “I never intended for Rafael to get mixed into all of this. I tried to stop him, I tried to push him away from me but he just-- wouldn’t,” 

“Mr. Barba’s a fighter, like I said,” Carisi shrugged.

“Liv, I believe her,” Fin looked at her. 

“It does sound like something Barba would do,” Rollins agreed.

“Yeah I...I guess so,” Olivia was still shaken up from the fact that Rafael had shared his deepest secrets with you, who he barely knew,  over her.

“Look Arianna’s going to try and take me down with her, but if you just ask Rafael--” you started, but still Olivia would not let you finish any sentence about her best friend.

“And how are we supposed to do that, Y/N? He’s lying on a surgical table, because for whatever reason he thought he could ‘save you’ from your apparently ‘manipulative’ best friend!” She kept herself from physically shaking you, 

“...I know,” Was all you could say.

“Liv we don’t know anything right now, okay? We still could ask Rafael when he--” Rollins started.

“IF he” Olivia interjected.

“Liv, be positive,” Carisi warned.

“We can still check her story. Meanwhile, she’s still ‘in our custody’,” Rollins finished.

“You’d better--” Olivia started but was interrupted by the doctor returning from the OR. He was covered in blood.

“Oh my god…” you whispered, tears stinging your eyes. 

“He lost a lot of blood,” The doctor explained. “But he made it through surgery...barely,” 

The squad and yourself let out a collective sigh.

“The next 12 hours are crucial,” he went on. “If he makes it through then, he’ll have a fighting chance,” 

“Oh my God…” You put your hands over your head, trying to breathe, but Rafael’s blood on them just made you panic more.

“Can she...do you have anything she could change into?” Fin took pity on you and your blood soaked outfit.

“Yes, yes of course. We have showers and some scrubs you can wear dear,” The surgeon nodded to a nurse.

“We’re gonna need those clothes for evidence,” He told you.

“Right..” you nodded softly.

“Right this way dear,” a nurse gestured to you to follow her. 

As you followed her, you wondered if the squad would update you if something happened with Rafael. And then you thought-- would you really want them to?

On your way to the showers, you saw a team of surgeons rolling Rafael down the hall on a gurney. You couldn’t help yourself, you had to see him. You ducked out of the nurse’s view and chased the gurney down the hallway.

“Wait! Please!” You yelled, they turned and stopped.

“Ma’am you really can’t be back here,” 

“I..I’m with her,” You glanced behind you to see the nurse coming after you. 

“I just-- I needed--” You stared at Rafael, just lying there. Lifeless. Helpless. You felt yourself start to cry for the millionth time tonight. 

“Friend of yours?” the nurse asked. 

“Dude, I think he’s more than her friend,” another one rolled his eyes.

“Can I just--?” You pointed to Rafael.

“Yeah alright, just a SECOND,” He stepped away and looked down the hall, pretending not to see you.

You moved past them and stood right next to Rafael’s head, stroking his hair.

“I love you, Rafael Barba. I am not done loving you yet, do you hear me? You fight. You come back to me,” You ordered the unconscious man, like an idiot. 

“Please,” you whispered, before placing a kiss on his head. You nodded a ‘thank you’ to the team, before they continued down the hall. 

“Sorry,” you apologized to the nurse for ditching her. 

“It’s fine, I’d do the same for my husband,”

“Oh we’re not--”

“Oh, you’re not? So you REALLY can’t be back here, can you?”

“I-I guess not,” 

“Alright...you know what, here,” She pulled out a sticker that said “ALL ACCESS”.

“I could get in trouble for this, but just in case I’m not here when you get all cleaned up, use this to get to his room. It’s family only in ICU,” 

“R-Really? Seriously?” You took the sticker in shock. “You’d do that for me? Why?”

“You looked so helpless, just standing there,”  She turned her head sideways in sympathy. 

“Thank you,” You whispered, and she nodded as you two resumed walking down the hall towards the showers.

Hopefully you could use that sticker SOON.

[mochegato]

Covert Marriage

Covert Dating     Covert Romance     Covert Wedding

Prompt sent in by @redscarlet95 - what happens when Marinette’s family and friends find out about the wedding?

“Okay… are you ready for this?” Before Jason could respond, Marinette continued her decent into rambling madness. “Am I ready for this?  Oh God, I’m not ready for this.  We are not ready for this.  This is going to be terrible.  They’re going to hate me and kick me out and I’ll be homeless.  Homeless, Jason, homeless!”  Jason gave her a bemused smile and grabbed her hand with his free hand, his other hand loosely gripping the rental car’s steering wheel.  She had been catastrophizing over telling her parents about their sudden elopement on and off for the last few weeks, ever since they got back to Gotham from their wedding.  

“Pixie, Love, Light of my Life, we have our own apartment and you’re already making it into a beautiful home. You won’t be homeless.  And they won’t hate you.  They love you.  They will still love you after this,” he assured her.  Marinette looked at him doubtfully, her mind still racing with all the terrible possibilities her anxiety had convinced her were inevitable.

He knew somewhere in her mind she knew he was right and he would be more concerned about the reveal of their marriage to her parents if she hadn’t reassured him on multiple occasions, after she had calmed down from her panic attack, that it would be fine, really.  Her parents were amazing and they might be surprised and maybe a bit disappointed, but they would still love her and they would welcome him with open arms… eventually. So, he let her panic run its course for the time being, with only minor interference to keep it from going too dark, and instead focused on the road ahead of them, occasionally squeezing her hand to offer silent support.

Marinette looked down at their hands with a small smile before her eyes widened in horror, “Oh my God, my ring!  They’re going to know as soon as they see the ring.  I should… we shouldn’t… You know what?  We should ease them into this instead.  We should… You should be my boyfriend first.  Yeah!  I should take off my ring so they… so it will all be okay.  They can meet you as my boyfriend first… or just a friend.  Maybe you can walk by and we can pretend we are meeting for the first time?  We can tell them about the marriage in a year or two… we’ll have to have a second ceremony, but that should be fine.  We just have to let your family know not to mention anything whenever they finally meet. We’ll have to sedate Dick, but that’s for the best for everyone really.  How long do you think we can keep him sedated before causing permanent damage?”

Jason laughed before giving her a gentle look, “Marinette, no.  As much as I love the idea of tranquing Dick, it will all be okay.  Please don’t take your ring off.  Your parents would be more upset if they found out you lied to them and especially if everyone but them knew,” he said calmly trying to reason with her.  “They love you.  They can handle this.  So can we. We will be fine, Pix.  And I will be there right next to you the whole time, yeah?”

“Yeah?” she gave him an uncertain look.

“Yeah,” he said running his finger along her cheek with his free hand.  “Come on, you’ve taken on a city full of zombies. You can handle this.”

She gave him a firm smile, “Right.  We can do this.  We’re a team. We can handle anything.  Okay, recon report: Sabine Cheng and Tom Dupain.  Marital status, married… to each other.  Occupation, bakers who own their own business, a very popular boulangerie and patisserie in Paris.  One child, a daughter currently in this rental car with you, who got married to you without their knowledge.  Age, you don’t need to know.  

“Psych work up, Sabine has a glare that would put Batman to shame and although capable of messing you up, she won’t actually, physically hurt you.  She may make a vague threat on what she will do to you if you hurt me and she’ll make you feel like you disappointed her, which… which is worse honestly.  But, after everything she will give an amazing hug to make you feel better and offer you food and something to drink casually mentioning that you are part of the family after all.  

“Tom looks like he could crush you with one arm but is actually less threatening than Batcow.  He’ll follow Sabine’s judgement, but he is likely to scowl at you until he decides for himself.  He will continue to be suspicious of you even after my Maman welcomes you to the family. If you talk about how you just want to make sure I’m happy and feel loved, it will ease his suspicions.  If you add in that you really want to start a family with me someday but you want to make sure I’m in a place where I feel like I’m ready and you’re letting me take the lead on the decision, he will start calling you ‘son’.  After he accepts you into the family, he will cry.  Brace for it now.”

Jason took his eyes from the road to look at her quizzically before shaking his head with a chuckle.  “You’re not allowed to hang out with Tim anymore.”

Marinette rolled her eyes, “yeah, I’ll be sure to tell him that when we’re hanging out next week.  It might delay it by a whole hour… because he’ll be laughing so hard.”

Jason shook his head and looked at her in fake severity, “I’m serious.  It’s too dangerous to allow you two to hang out together.  Your combined forces could take over the world.”

She smiled back at him, preening at his faith in her abilities.  “Yeah, but a nice takeover, a benevolent tyranny, if you will.”  Jason barked out a laugh and grinned at her.

“I can see it now.  By royal proclamation, everyone must have a hamster, nobody is allowed to wear checks and stripes at the same time, peanut butter and jelly is strictly forbidden, and nobody wakes up before noon.”

She hummed in response, “Now that is a monarchy I can get behind.  But my plans for world domination are going to have to wait. We’re here,” she said pointing to the corner store just ahead of them.

Marinette used her key to open the exterior door and led Jason up the back stairs to her parent’s apartment.  

“Okay, how do I look?” she asked nervously, her anxiety ramped up again now that they were outside her parents’ door.

“Like you’re trying to make it hard for me to focus on anything other than getting you back to the hotel,” he answered with a sultry look.

“Good, it wasn’t too subtle,” she gave him a wicked look.  “Remember, you aren’t allowed to grab me while we’re in there.”

He growled at her and grabbed her tightly, “We’re not in there yet.”  He gave her a deep kiss, pulling her flush against him.

She pulled away breathlessly and nodded at him with a resolute look on her face, “Okay, let’s do this.”  She turned to knock on the door.

The door had barely opened before a huge man had reached out on the landing and grabbed Marinette in a bear hug.  The man was so large, Jason couldn’t even see Marinette anymore. “Sweetheart!  It is so great to see you.  Oh!  Who is this dear?”

“Papa, remember I said I was bringing someone for you to meet?  This is Jason.  Jason, these are my parents, Tom Dupain and Sabine Cheng,” she said indicating her father who was still holding her close and her mother who Jason couldn’t see behind Tom.

“Welcome to our home, Jason,” Tom said with a wide, welcoming smile.

“You might need to move so they can get in dear,” Sabine commented with a kind smile.

“Of course, of course.  Sorry. Please come in,” he moved to the side and made a sweeping motion welcoming them into the apartment.”

“Thank you, sir.  It is very nice to meet both of you.  Marinette speaks of you often.” Jason shook Tom’s had with a big smile.  As he went to shake Sabine’s hand he noticed her flick her eyes up to his eyes from wherever she had been looking, a glare settling in her eyes.

“Yes, welcome, Jason.  Funny, Marinette hasn’t mentioned you at all.” She said coolly.

Jason chuckled awkwardly, “Huh… how about that… uh…” He floundered for what to say next, but Sabine’s glare never wavered.   Her eyes bore into him like they could see every secret he had, even the ones he tried to hide from himself.  Every self-doubt, every insecurity, every failing that haunted him was exposed.  Everything Marinette had been helping him to recover from was suddenly laid out for Sabine to examine and judge.  Jason stood paralyzed under her stare until Marinette grabbed him what seemed like hours later and pulled him away from her mother.  

“Come on, Jason.  I’m dying to show you the view from my balcony.  I’ve missed it so much since I’ve been away.  You don’t mind, right Maman?” Marinette was pulling him up a set of stairs before her mother could give her “Of course not dear,” response.

Jason didn’t even take in what her childhood bedroom looked like before whipping around as soon as the door closed, “Okay you were right.  Take off the ring, we’ll do it later.” He prompted her hurriedly motioning toward her hand.  

“Oh, it’s already too late.  She’s seen the ring.  We’re committed to it now,” Marinette said direly.

“What? Why would you wear the ring?” he asked exasperated.

She gave him a deadpan look, waiting for him to come to his own conclusion.  

“Why would you listen to me?  You know better.  And that glare!  I feel like I’ve never done anything right in my entire life.  How long was she glaring at me?”

“I think it was about 5 seconds before I could get to you,” she smiled sympathetically and cupped her hands around his face to stroke his cheeks.  “She does that.  It’ll be okay.  I mean, I’m not going to lie it’s going to be really terrible for a little bit but then it’ll be like Miraculous Ladybug sweeping all the pain away.  Also, it wasn’t my ring she saw.” She gave him a chaste kiss on the lips.  “I love you, Jason Todd.  They will too.  They are scared for me right now because they don’t know you.  But when they get to know you, they are going to be your biggest supporters, a second, and actually functioning, family for you.”

He let out a stressed sigh and pressed his forehead to hers.  “I just don’t want to screw this up.  And your mom is intimidating as hell.”

“You can’t screw this up.  It isn’t possible.  And yes, I know.”  They heard Marinette’s mom calling to them that lunch was ready.  “Relax.  You’ve taken down crime lords, you can handle my parents.

“Something tells me I’m not allowed to just shoot them though.”  He muttered under his breath.  Marinette gave him an unamused look as she made her way toward the door.  “What?  I said ‘not allowed’.”

“Lunch smells amazing Maman and Papa.  I’ve missed your cooking so much!  I’m going to have to rub this in Adrien’s face tonight.  He says hi, by the way.  He was planning on stopping over tomorrow if that is okay.”

“That’s nice, dear.  He knows he’s always welcome.  All of your friends are,” she said pointedly, looking sharply over to Jason.

“Thank you so much for letting me tag along with Marinette.  I am really glad to finally meet you after everything I’ve heard about you from her.” Jason tried to lighten the heavy mood with pleasantries, but Marinette’s mom was not following the lighter tone.  She seemed to have perfected the art of a biting remark with a smile.  She would do wonderfully at one of their Galas.

“Of course, sweetie.  So, how did you two meet?”

“We meet at a coffee shop.  We started talking and… here we are,” he faltered.  They hadn’t actually discussed how they were going to tell her parents and he figured she would want to be the one to say it.

“Well, we are really glad to meet you.  You must be really important to Marinette if she brought you home.” Tom offered only scowling slightly.

“He is Papa.  He is really important to me,” she paused to take a deep breath and look to Jason who gave her an encouraging nod before reaching for her hand to entwine their fingers. “He is so important to me that we decided to get married a few weeks ago.  We’re married.  He’s my husband,” she said quietly holding up her left hand to show her ring.  

Tom sucked in a breath but Sabine’s eyes went steely.  “I see,” she said in a deceptively calm voice.

“Sweetheart, are you… are you sure that was the wisest decision?” Tom hedged tentatively.

“I am, Papa.  We know it was sudden and impulsive, but we know what we’re doing.  It might not look like it, but we do.  We love each other, but we know that isn’t enough,” she looked over to look into Jason’s loving eyes.  “We know we are going to have to work at it and we are ready to do that.”

Marinette’s father opened his mouth but before he could say anything Jason continued where Marinette left off, “We know it is going to be hard at times and we’re not fully prepared for whatever is coming, but we are ready to fight for it, together.  We want a future together.  We want a family together, at some point, when Marinette is ready, little kids with Marinette’s eyes and creativity and my hair and determination, or my eyes and her smile,” his eyes softened as he spoke about their future children. Marinette grinned at the future children he pictured.  They had never spoken about kids and it was warming her hear to hear his vision.  

“I know you’re worried about me and this was a huge surprise to spring on you out of nowhere and for that I am truly sorry, but… but you need to trust me that this is what is best for me.” Marinette added timidly.

Her parents looked at one another in silent conversation for a while before turning back to Marinette and Jason.  Sabine reached across the table for Marinette’s hand, “Okay dear.  If this makes you happy, then we are happy for you.”  She was smiling at the two of them but the smile was cautious, uncertain.

“Welcome to the family, son,” Marinette’s papa said standing with a strained smile to give Jason another bone crushing hug.  “We’re so glad to see our little girl happy again and if you were the one to do it, then we are beyond happy to have you in our lives.”

The lunch continued as Marinette’s parents asked questions about Jason and his history.  After lunch they kept talking about Gotham and Marinette’s career and Jason’s family. A few hours later, Marinette and Jason were finally able to take a few moments for themselves to recover from the stress of the earlier reveal.  They were enjoying the view from her balcony, Marinette was reveling in the feeling of Jason’s arms wrapped comfortingly around her and the steady rise and fall of his chest against her back as he breathed.  “I don’t think I’d mind just staying here like this for the rest of the night,” she said quietly as she melted into his embrace.

Jason leaned down to kiss her temple.  “It’s just your friends though, right?  That one should be easier, shouldn’t it?  Less stressful?  Then we can go back to the hotel and just lay down wrapped up in each other’s arms for a while.”

Marinette winced slightly, “God that sounds amazing.  Yeah, tonight should be less stressful but… you brought your Kevlar vest right?  You might need it, Kim is going to be there.”

Jason chuckled lightly, “Sounds like my kind of people.  I should fit right in.”

Marinette hummed at him “I think you…” before she could finish her sentence Sabine made her presence known.  “Marinette, sweetie, your father wanted you to pick what you wanted to take over to Luka’s house.”

“Okay, Maman.” She looked over to Jason with a raised brow asking him if he was okay or if he wanted her to get him out as Sabine made her way onto the balcony.  Jason smiled at her and nodded toward the door, reassuring her he would be fine.  His wife’s mother wanted to have a talk with him and she deserved to have her say.

“I’ll be right back,” she said, looking at Jason to reassure him that she wouldn’t be gone long and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Once she left, Jason looked to Sabine waiting for her to start the conversation.  When she continued to silently watch the sun makes its way toward setting Jason started getting uncomfortable.  Finally after a few minutes, Jason decided to break the awkward silence.  “You have a beautiful view, Mrs. Cheng.  A beautiful home as well.”

“Sabine, please.  You’re a part of our family now after all,” she said kindly but with an edge to her voice.

“Sabine, thank you.  And thank you for being so calm about this… about us.  Marinette has been panicking about telling you since we got married.  She is really terrified about disappointing you.  I know this must have been a shock and hard to accept for you.”

“It is.  You have to understand, it’s nothing personal, but she will always be our baby and we just want what’s best for her.  This is an unknown, you are an unknown so we aren’t sure how to react yet.”

“I do understand.  I don’t take it personally.  And I fully understand wanting to protect Marinette.  I’m not going to try to force you to like me. I’m just happy Marinette is happy and doesn’t feel like she disappointed you.”

Sabine watched him for a few moments.  “I can see the way you two look at each other and I can see how much you two love each other.  But I can see something else.”  He raised his brow at her.  “I can see the way you need each other.  I want to make sure you aren’t just using each other.”

Jason sucked in a breath and glanced away. That was not the observation he had been expecting.  He didn’t think either of them was that obvious about how they interacted.  He looked back to her, impressed with her insight. “You’re very observant.  We are using each other… but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  We both offer something the other needs.  But neither of us is willing to take more than the other can give,” he reassured her. “And we really do love each other. We want the other to be better, to be happy.  We rely on each other and we need each other but, isn’t that the way marriage is supposed to be?  I mean, I don’t have very many models of a good marriage… or any, honestly, but that’s the way Marinette describes it.  And that is what I want, a happy, healthy marriage.  But more than that, I want her to be happy.  I’m not going to do anything that will cause her more pain.”

Sabine’s eyes softened as she gazed at him.  “I think she was right… about marriage and about you,” she reached up to pat him on his cheek.  “I’m glad you found somebody who helps make you feel complete. I’m glad you both did.  Do you mind if I give you a hug?”

Jason shook his head, too dazed to use words. “Here, let me just…”  He knelt down so he was closer to her height, “There. That’s better.”

“Ah, I see it now.” She smiled as she hugged him with a gentle but firm hug, making him feel like he was welcome and accepted.

“What’s that?” he pulled back curiously.

“Why my daughter fell in love with you.  She always did appreciate a smartass.”  Jason barked out another laugh and hugged her again.

Marinette popped her head through the trapdoor. “Well that seemed to have gone well.”

“It did, sweetie.  Now, you guys better hurry or you’re going to be late for your party. But I want you guys here for brunch tomorrow with the wedding pictures.” Sabine said with a smile, leaving the two to prepare for their next confrontation.  “Oh, and dear?” she called back before disappearing through the trap door.

“Yes, Maman?”

“This family you guys want to start, I’m won’t be finding out about it after the child is born, right?” she asked with a calculating smile.

“No, Maman.”

“Jason?” she prompted him.

“No, Ma’am… uh, Sabine.”

“Good.  Just making sure dear.  Now, have fun tonight kids.” She said with saccharine sweetness.

<><><><><> 

The party seemed to already be in full swing as Jason and Marinette approached Luka’s new houseboat.  They could hear the music and laughter from a block away.  “Just a quiet, little, friendly get together, huh?” he asked with a raised brow.

“Yep. Just like your quiet, little, friendly family dinners.  It should be a familiar environment.  You okay with it?”

“No, I mean, no, it isn’t a problem.  I’m definitely not complaining.  I like this better.  More witnesses if someone does something.”

“That’s cute.  You think we don’t cover for each other,” she gave him a wicked smile, dragging her finger along his jaw before walking ahead of him, swinging her hips for him.

“Oh, you’re in for it,” he laughed, running up behind her, picking her up, and throwing her over his shoulder without slowing down.

“Hey,” she squawked at him, laughing uncontrollably.  “Let me down, you big goof.”

“Huh. Did you hear something?” he said confused spinning around and getting smacked by the bag of pastries she was carrying.  “I could have sworn I heard something.  Nope nothing there.”

“Jason!” Marinette called slapping his firm ass.

“Oh! There.  I heard it again,” he grinned suddenly switching the direction he was spinning getting smacked by the bag on the other side.

“You are such an asshole.  You’re going to ruin the pastries,” she laughed even harder.

“Ah, it must be my loving wife,” he said setting her down in front of him with a loving smile.  “I would recognize that description of me anywhere.”

She huffed in mock annoyance at him, “Why do I put up with you?”

“Hmmm,” he hummed moving his face closer to hers and letting his hands roam up and down her sides, pleased with the contented sighs she let out.  “My charm, my amazing personality, my devilishly good looks, I believe.  Plus, I’m the only one who could survive the coming onslaught that is your friends.”

She smiled comfortingly at him, “Don’t worry, my friends are going to love you. I mean, don’t get me wrong, they’re going to threaten you, but after that, they’re going to love you.”

He rolled his eyes, “Why is it everyone you know is coming up and threatening me if I ever hurt you but everyone I know is… also coming up and threatening me if I ever hurt you?”

“Because they think I can’t defend myself,” she shrugged.

“Have you ever thought about telling them who you are?  So they know you can defend yourself?  I mean, not everyone but a few people you trust.”

“No, I don’t think it’s that.” She looked down to consider how to word her thoughts.  “It’s… it’s how we deal with things.  You lash out. I take it out on myself. Everything I do only affects myself. I withdraw from people and things, I lose my appetite, I get more tired, I lose my passion for things.  Those things don’t affect anyone else, at least not directly.  But you lash out.  You yell, you hit, you get drunk and say cruel things, you try to hurt them as much as you’re hurting.  It… the way we deal with things, makes me look weak and you look dangerous.”

He looked at her with sad eyes.  She was right and he felt comforted knowing she knew him so well, but it also upset him that she was right.  That is how he responds to negative things but he never wanted her to experience it firsthand.  “I don’t ever want to do that to you.  I won’t ever hurt you,” he promised sincerely.

“You will.  And I’ll hurt you.  We won’t mean to, but we will.  But we’re going to talk about it, right?  Instead of brooding or detaching?  We promised... and we’re fucking adults and that’s what adults do.” He chuckled but nodded, hugging her closely as if protecting her from their future fights. He pulled away just far enough to press his forehead to hers.  “I love you, wife.”

“I love you, husband,” she looked up at him adoringly, wrapping her hands around the back of his neck.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST HEAR?” they heard screamed from behind Jason.

Marinette and Jason froze, “Shit,” Marinette whispered out, peeking around Jason to see Alix standing close enough to have heard at least the last part of their conversation.

“You got married?” she exclaimed only slightly less loud this time.  

“Uh, yeah.  This is Jason… my husband.” Marinette awkwardly indicated Jason.

“When did you get married?” Alix asked hugging Marinette and eyeing Jason suspiciously.

“A few weeks ago.”

“Does Alya know?”  Marinette’s pained expression was enough of an answer for Alix.  “Shit.  Well it was nice I got to see you again before your funeral.  Good luck.  Hand over the pastries.  I don’t want them destroyed in the mauling.  I get to be there when you tell her, right?”

“I’m telling her as soon as I get there,” Marinette nodded as she handed over the bag she was holding.

“Sweet.  I’m sticking by you.  This party is going to be more interesting than I thought it was going to be.  Does Sunshine know?”

“Yeah. He was there… Don’t tell Alya that part,” Marinette added quickly.

“Oh God no.  Two murders is enough for tonight.  Well, let’s get to it.  I’d like to dig into these pastries and get some drinking done tonight.”

“Thank you, Alix.  It’s good to see you.  What have you been up to?”  They chatted amicably as they walked toward the boat.  Marinette’s hand held tightly to Jason’s as she walked.  She looked over her shoulder, giving him a tight lipped smile, betraying her nerves.  A few friends called to her from the boat as she got close.  She waved and called back to them with a genuine smile.  As soon as she stepped foot on the deck there was a rush of people each trying to give her hugs and find out about her life in Gotham.

“Back off everyone.  She needs to breathe,” Alix yelled at the crowd, causing them to back up a bit.

“Thanks,” Marinette whispered to her, smiling consolingly at her friends.

“And she needs to make an announcement,” Alix decreed with an evil smile.

“Bitch!” Marinette hissed at her.

“You reap what you sow.  Shouldn’t have snuck off.” Alix smirked at her.

“I was supposed to tell Alya first,” she hissed through her teeth.

“Ohhh, yeah.  Good point. My bad.  Oh well, too late now,” Alix shrugged and stepped back so Marinette could take center stage.

Jason stepped up behind her and wrapped his hand around her waist to let her know he was there for her.  She took a deep breath and gave a fake smile to her friends.  “Everyone, I’d like to introduce you to Jason Todd… my husband.”

Everyone stared at them slack jawed for a few moments.  The boat was so quiet they could hear the water slapping against the bow.  Finally the quiet was broken by Adrien squeezing through and hugging Marinette and shaking Jason’s hand, “Good to see you guys!  How are your parents?  Jason, I’m so glad you made it.  Max over there was just saying Shakespeare was overrated.  We need your expertise, man.  Well, no what I actually need is someone who knows what the fuck their talking about to destroy him.”

Marinette smiled gratefully at Adrien who just winked in response.  “Go savage, man.  Let the heathen have it,” Adrien encouraged, slinging his arm over Jason’s shoulders and gesturing to a man in glasses in front of them.  Jason looked back to Marinette for confirmation.  She nodded to him with a wry smile and leaned over to Alya who had finally made her way over to Marinette, “Watch this.”  She grinned proudly as Jason proceeded to give a solid 5 minute literary critique of Shakespeare’s works, the prevalence of the themes he wrote about, and the effect he had not only on his time but on future writers.

“He’s passionate about Shakespeare.” Alya observed.

“Yeah. Our place is filled with classic literature.  You should see him talk about Jane Austin,” Marinette looked down to her hands for a moment before softly saying, “I’m sorry, Alya.  I wanted to tell you first, in person.  It was very sudden.”

Alya nodded.  “Does he make you happy?”

“Yes, very,” she nodded vigorously.  “He makes me feel… again.” She looked over at Alya uncertainly.

Alya nodded again and looked away as Jason returned with a grin.  “How did that feel?” Marinette asked with a knowing smile.

“That was awesome.  I never get to geek out like that.” He said hugging her.  “You must be Alya,” he held out his hand.  “Marinette talks about you constantly.  I feel like I know so much about you already.”

“So how did you meet?  When did you know you needed to get married?” Alya nodded her head in acknowledgement as Kagami joined them.

“We met when she kicked someone’s ass and I knew I needed to marry her when she handed Batman’s ass to him in a verbal smack down for the ages after he interrupted our date.” He grinned proudly down at Marinette.

“Marinette!” Kagami chastised her as Alya smacked her in the chest.

“It was the second time our date had been interrupted!  I was pissed.  And he tried to pull that glare on me like I did something wrong.”  Marinette defended herself.

“Ooh, that was a mistake.” Alya shook her head with a laugh.

“I know, right?”

“Marinette, can I speak with you a bit more privately?  I have some concerns I’d like to address with you.” Kagami spoke sharply looking only at Marinette.

Marinette looked between Jason and Alya and for the second time they had a silent conversation about if he was okay with being left alone.  He nodded to her and motioned for her to follow her friend.

As soon as they were out of earshot Alya started her shovel talk, staring directly in his eyes.  “You understand that you are an exceptionally lucky man and you will never meet anyone as amazing as her again, right?”

“I do.” He nodded sincerely.

“And if you ever hurt her, there will be no place to hide.”

“I understand.”

Alya nodded at him but her eyes didn’t soften.  “Okay.  My girl has been miserable for a really long time.  None of us know what caused it except Adrien, but we have our suspicions. She hasn’t allowed herself to feel anything, good or bad in years.  But she finally looks happy.  With you in her life, she finally seems back to her old self so…”

“So?”

Alya squinted at him and pursed her lips, “So, I will allow it.  I will allow you to stay married to her.  But if that changes, if she becomes suddenly unhappy, they will never find the body, understood?”

“Understood,” he nodded at her.  “And just so you know, I think there’s a line now.  I think you’re after Sabine, Adrien, and Fang, not to mention several members of my family.”

“Oh no, we work together.  I do the tool supplying, Kagami does the killing, Sabine does the cutting up, Adrien does the feeding, Fang does the eating, Kim does the alibiing, and Max does the cover up.  If your family wants to get involved, we can assign jobs.”

Jason looked at her curiously, “Should I be concerned that you seem to have thought this through?”

“Not if you treat her right.” Alya gave him a pointed look.

“Which one is Kagami?  I don’t think I’ve seen her yet.” He scanned the crowd.

“That’s her skill.  You won’t see her coming,” she sent him a devilish smile before pointing to a woman leaning against the balcony railing having a serious conversation with Marinette, “Kagami was the one that was over here earlier, the one that currently is interrogating Marinette.  You’re lucky I’m the one doing this and not her.  She still might actually, but she should know I’ve already done it.  I’m higher in the hierarchy.”

“There’s a hierarchy?” he looked at her with a raised brow.

“You think you’re the first one to get this talk?  We protect our friends and we all know who gets to give the talk to who’s significant other and who is second up in case that person is unavailable.  In most of these scenarios, Marinette is the one doing the digging.  We don’t usually have the option of Fang.  You didn’t wet your pants so you’re doing better than most of the significant others.”

“Thanks.  Have you ever had to enact it?”

“Not that anyone has been able to prove.” She shot him a finger gun and a wink.

“Hey, new guy!  You look like you’re in shape.  You’re getting in on this, come on.” A large man with frosted tips tugged him to one of the ship’s two masts.  Jason looked back at Alya who just gave him a thumbs up.  “It’s a race to the top.  Whoever sits on their mast first gets a prize.” The man announced excitedly.

“What’s the prize?”

“If you win, we let you stay married to my little sister.”

“I’m not your sister,” Marinette yelled from her spot at the railing.

“She says such hurtful things,” Kim mock whispered to Jason, his hand held sadly against his chest.  “If I win, you buy the alcohol at the next party.”  Jason nodded at him and looked over to Marinette with a wink.

“Winning this one for you, Pixie.” He gave her a dashing grin and a wink.

“Show ‘em what you got, Red.  Mulan that bitch.”  Marinette yelled back.

Marinette looked over as Adrien threw his arm around her shoulder, eyeing him suspiciously, “Hey, awfully convenient you guys were talking about Shakespeare when we got here.”

“Awfully wasn’t it.  Couldn’t get Max talking about anything else.” Adrien shrugged with a false nonchalance.

“Right, classic lit.  Max’s favorite subject,” she rolled her eyes.  “Thank you.”

He gave her a tight side hug.  “Don’t know what you’re talking about, Bug.”  He shifted his focus to the center of the boat as Jason and Kim’s race started. He soon doubled over laughing as Kim slipped and fell from about half way up the mast all the way back to the deck, landing on his ass with a thump, followed almost immediately by Jason losing his footing and smacking his face against the mast but managing to keep his lead.  “You married that.  That’s yours now.  You own that.”

“Yeah, but have you seen him without his shirt on?” he shook his head.  She looked back with adoring eyes and a wicked smile at her amazing husband, engaging in dumbass challenges with her friends, “Worth it.”

Covert Pregnancy

[bellatrixxue]

Xue’s Supernatural Dare: Wendigo (S1 EP2)

Hello, everyone? How did everyone feel about the finale? Yes? Yes? Oh. Oh. Oh my. Oh, dear.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell that half-assed homophobic chicken-shit fuckbucket’s not gonna stop me, since I strapped myself onto this roller coaster already and I promised I’m not getting out until the ride’s over, so here we go, wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Also, those who are in this roller coaster with me, ready? Tag list is: @fangirlxwritesx67​ @amazingiam00​ @kalliravenne​ @indecisive20something​ @2musiclover2​ @impossibletosleepthrough @there-must-be-a-lock​ @wingedcatninja​ @arvit​

Oh my gods this recap is so cheesy I actually can make a fondue out of it. 2000s, everybody!

A WHOLE MINUTE AND A HALF FOR THAT FONDUE

FUCKJUMPSCARETITLEFUCKYOU

So we’re starting the episode with the murder scene first, eh? Is that gonna be a trend?

Oh come on, Chads, you’re out in nature and you’re playing video games? Absorb the nature...before it absorbs you!

Waitwait. Holy shit is that...is that Cory Monteith? Oh, bless his soul...

If the wendigo eats his dick as he’s peeing I’m immediately giving Jensen Ackles $100. For no real reason, I just feel like giving him money for already carrying the show on his back.

I can’t tell if it did or not, so I’m not paying yet.

Aw, Sammy...

"I should have told you the truth.” *Vine voice* BUT YOU DIDN’T

FUCKYOUINTHEASSHOhnightmare. Nightmare. So did he visit her at her grave or not? I need answers.

A week? Goddamn. Poor thing. That man-eating tree’s fucking good at his job, man.

“There’s nothing there, it’s just...woods,” Sam, I don’t know if Jess’s death hit you hard or if you got into law school by eating some ancient dick and/or pussy instead of earning that high score fair and square, but the woods “in the middle of nowhere” (your words) are known to be one of the top places full of weird-ass creatures. Even kindergartners know that.

Ehehehehehehehehe he’s so smol next to his lil bro my lil shit

At least you’re coming up with decent covers this time. No Agent Mulder and Scully ruining things for you this time around.

“Bull” oop-

Oh Dean’s a smoooooooooth operator. Good going, buddy.

AND HE GOT A COPY OF THAT DOCUMENT TEAM DEAN TEAM DEAN

Oh that death really got to Sam. I hope he doesn’t turn out to be a trigger-happy psycho. Or eat the man-eating tree and become one himself.

Oh, Haley’s a cutie! Which one’s her brother? Cory? Discount Enrique Iglesias?

Do you have a card for EVERY profession, Dean? And how do I get them too?

That is a very pretty car. I bet they wasted half the budget on that thing.

Okay, sonny boy, little bro, Broseidon, calm down.

Ah, fuck, Haley and Broseidon is gonna go into the woods, that’s more heads to worry about.

How the fuck does Sam find information this fast? I’m impressed, I take five hours to get to one article for my research paper. Or maybe I’m just lazy. So he really earned his law school interview without having to eat dick and pussy, huh.

Every 23 years? What is this, Pennywise? Are we going to see the wendigo do his best Tim Curry do his best scary clown impression? Honk honk?

“Whatever that thing is, it can move.” And the sun rises on the East, Sammy. Why are you so smart and dumb at the same time? Is this his character trait? It might grow on me.

Ahhh, so Sam’s go-to move at interrogation is doing puppy dog eyes and sympathize with the person. He’d make a good lawyer, shame that man-eating tree.

Go Grandpa Exposition, go!

Go Grandpa Exposition, go, give us information and none at all!

OH GEEZ THAT SCAR. PENNYWISE WENDIGO IS VICIOUS.

Skinwalker, Back Dog...Ooh, those all sound cool! I hope we get to see them soon!

‘Corporeal’ doesn’t sound like a real word, but then again, English doesn’t sound like a real language. Sorry. Moving on.

Sam’s gonna eat the wendigo with that attitude, Jesus Christ.

AND HIS BROTHER, AT THIS RATE. If the real villain turns out to be inside Sam all along I’m gonna flip. Is that why women keep dying and burning on ceilings where he sleeps? Is he secretly Lucifer’s spawn or something?

“Oh sweetheart I don’t wear shorts”. They queer-coded him from the start and they tried to make you believe he was straight for fifteen seasons straight? And some people bought that?

Oh, crap, another crappy death treatment for Cory before he got into Glee...No, I wasn’t into Glee, I just watched a few episodes and I might hate Rachel Berry...And Lea Michele...ahem...

Dean is totally flirting with Roy shut upppppppp

OOP AND THERE ROY GOES OH THE SEXUAL TENSION IS HIGH IN THESE WOODS TODAY

“It’s probably the most honest I’ve been with a woman. Ever.” See. Bi. Bi bi bi.

So...why the coordinates, Daddy Negan? Is this a portal to Hell? A place where man-eating trees grow?

*carefully places death flag on Roy*

Ooooh the campsite is very...haunted house-y. You know what I’m saying?

That’s not Discount Enrique Iglesias, but Pennywise wendigo, yes? Those things can mimic human voices, right?

*Google searches*...There are so many versions of this tale I can’t even confirm or deny it. Dammit.

Maybe Pennywise wendigo just wants some snacks and a nice phone and GPS? Maybe he misses his family in uh, Canada or something?

Daddy Negan’s journal is  a e s t h e t i q u e .

I’m so sorry, but the way Sammy smirks as he speaks with those dark, dark voids for eyes? My boy’s a demon. He’s a demon, I’m telling you.

At least Haley has some sense to her. *puts another death flag on Roy*

*PUTS YET ANOTHER DEATH FLAG ON ROY*

True, that. What the heck is Daddy Negan up to with all of this?

“Saving people, hunting things, the family business!” Okay, the way Dean said it gave me chills.

I can actually empathize with Sam here...As whiny and bitchy as he is, he has his reasons to be this way. I guess if I were in his shoes, I’d be less of a Dean and more of a Sam, too. We deal with our losses quite similarly.

Ah, the brotherly bonding moments like these little talks make the show worth it. It’s so heartwarming.

Pennywise wendigo! I didn’t miss you, why’re you here to burst my happy bubble?

I’m starting to see a slight parallel between Haley and Broseidon and Dean and Sammy. Hmm.

Nice meeting you, Roy. Zoop you go.

Haley and Broseidon are taking this rather well, I’m glad they do.

Okay, actual exposition time, thank you.

Whoa, Broseidon speaks! Donner Party! Please don’t remind me of that! Those poor people!

Hibernation and food storage. Delightful, just delightful.

TORCHING? *CALLS RAMMSTEIN*

Somehow, not being able to see the wendigo is scarier to me than what I will probably see itself. Limited budget horror can actually work well.

Oh, dear, Roy literally did a death drop. Badum tissssssssss.

FUCK IT TOOK DEAN THE ONLY CHARACTER I CARE ABOUImean I love you too, Sam! Come on, let’s find him before it’s too late!

A trail of M&Ms! Yes, Broseidon! And Hansel and Gretel refercalled it. Sammy, you and I share the same wavelength?

SHITSHITTHEYTRIPPEDANDFELLINTHEFUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Thank the gods the Pennywise wendigo kept them right there. Chances.

DISCOUNT ENRIQUE IGLESIAS IS STILL ALIVE GEEZ BUT ALSO PHEW

Ah, Dean Winchester, I love you so much that I can’t even begin to describe it.

Also how convenient that the flare guns are there. Deus ex machina!

Haley would bode well as a hunter, look at her courage, her will. There are more hunters around than Daddy Negan and the brothers, right?

Yeah, seeing the actual wendigo makes me less scared of it now. It’s unnerving, but still.

TEAM DEAN YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW

Graphics are...alright, but it’s the thought that counts!

Running with the grizzly bear story. Smart Broseidon. Ben. Sorry, you deserve to be called by your real name. I think with practice they could become good hunters, along with their Discount Enrique Iglesias brother! Is there a fanfiction for that? Can I write it now?

...

I AM WILLING TO DIE TO PROTECT DEAN WINCHESTER I

Haley’s a lesbian, that’s why she kissed him on the cheek only. Headcanoned. Also I have a crush on her, she’s really pretty? Like? Heart eyes???

Ah, the siblings parallels again. Let’s hope neither of the two brothers end up in the bed like that.

“Man, I hate camping.” Really. Really really. Really.

“I’m driving”

...

SAM WINCHESTER I’M SORRY I EVER SPOKE ILL OF YOU I WILL PROTECT YOU WITH MY LIFE TOO I PROMISE YOU I WILL

It’s just a sassy bisexual brother and his little snide bisexual brother on the road to kill evil creatures and find their father and I love this show? Help? Help???

I really, really see the charm of Supernatural now! I’m fully invested in both brothers and their story, and I’m cheering them both on! Let’s get Daddy Negan back and get rid of that man-eating tree once and for all!

Six stars out of five!

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This dare is introducing me to a whole new world, and I really, really am glad I took that jump a few days ago, man!

Thank you everyone for reading my ramblings, and I’ll see you in the day after with the next review! Thank you for sticking with me! Buh-bye!

- Xue

[readbyred]

i was wondering if you could do a gender neutral reader with the "having a crush on you" preference except with the Black Friday cast (i don't really mind what characters from the cast as along as Ethan's included) it's completely fine if not! Thank you for reading.

Of course! Thank you so much for requesting^^

Having a crush on you - Black Friday

i wanted to finish this on the same day so i made some cuts, i really wanted to write about sherman (gary and older!ted too to be honest) but mayhaps i will get back to it in the future^^

Linda

she’s very,, confused

because she wants to show you love and all but promises herself she won’t sink that low

tries to impress you so hard it’s not even funny

but i assume the fact that she’s rich doesn’t instantly make you swoon

so that leaves her with little to no ideas

she’s SO over the top and unironically uses the ‘oh i didn’t see you there’ because she’s too proud to admit she’s been seeking you

wants to make you fall for her as fast as possible because she feelslike you should be pining for her not the other way around

has some self doubt if you are blind to her (terrible) advances but would never admit it

she tries to be funny and be mean to ohers like she berated becky because she wants to make you laugh and she would die if she was nice for 5 seconds

remember draco from avpm? yeah she’s like that but worse

actually stops sleeping around as fast as she catches feelings

Lex

very casual about it

trusts you with her private life and just in confides you in general

but other than that she doesnt treat you any differently

she thinks she doesn’t have time for relationships and she needs to focus on work and on her sister

when pamela started pushing more illegal activities onto her she distances herself

if you stick through it she’ll grow closer to you

comes over a lot if you allow her

tells you about her plans for the future and asks about yours

meets you for smoke breaks to talk about work and life and how much both suck

teases you sometimes

gets high and plans the future with you on the days her mom is out and when hannah is asleep

can get blushy at times but masks it well

Frank

he’s very extra but thinks he’s being smooth

makes himself out to be the good guy of every situation because he wants you to be on his side

very flirty

talks a lot about you

lex will probably ‘accidentally’ slip up about this if he was being a bigger jerk than usual earlier that day

in general does a 180 with his attitude to seem more nice

since his accomplishments (and worth a bit too) to him mostly consist of how good he’s doing at his job he will gladly brag about it

tries to show you his side and his ideals

overall he wants you to like him but he’s not really putting in the effort to be a more likeable person

Ethan

the second he sees you his iq drops to negative 20

so most people can tell he likes you just by how stupid he’s acting

would do anything for you if you asked and does many favours in general even if you didn’t ask

wants to impress you SO BADLY which woud be alright if he would’t also show off

now he’s not much of a show-off usually but if someone dares him he will do a lot of stupid things to make you laugh or impress you

but that’s the more dangerous side, he also tries to take care of you and help you in stuff

firstly because he likes to see you happy but he also wants you to see him as someone who’s good enough for you because he’s not very sure he it

surprisingly he’s somewhat shy about phisical contact but will gladly gove you some if you initiate it first

and did i mention he’s extremely protective (not posessive for the record) and can and will get into a fight if someone threatens you

in most cases he’ll listen to you if you state that you don’t want him doing so

jokes with you a lot too

but can be serious if you need it

like when you are upset he’s the first one to come and offer you comfort even if he’s not always the best at it

saves up to give you nice things too

Tom

(i dont really like him so it will be short)

very soft for you

slowly opens up to you

after some time introduces you to Tim

has times when things are going too quick and he steps back

very nervous and awkward in the beggining

i mean as time goes on it doesn’t get THAT better but he has his moments

protective of you

asks for your opinion often and likes to listen to you talk

Becky

you thought tom was awkward? well she’s worse

tries to compliment you but is very shy about it

always listens to what you have to say

doesn’t ask you to meet but always gladly accepts your offers

gives you some phisical affection if you consent (like hugs when she greets you)

very worried for you and always makes sure you’re okay if something bad happens

praises you a lot even for small things

the whole town knows at this point

Wilbur

he will jump right into action and by that i mean he will be a creep

i’m sorry but he’s just like that at this point

catcalls and makes comments

he knows all timelines and uses that to show you that being with him will end better than some of your other lives (having aliens wear your skin, dying in a explosion) which isn’t much but he also uses details from your personal life too like in two years time you’ll have an abusive partner do you really wanna that over this

look, i said he likes you i never said that’s a good thing

and well, you don’t know how he got there but he’s sometimes hanging around your apartment now and that’s just life now

personal space? privacy? who’s are they?

flirts heavily but doesn’t get romantic, i feel like he’d be more all bark no bite type with it

lots of casual phisical contact

might steal your clothes,,,

Cineplex teen

at first he tries to avoid you because he doesn’t think you’d like him back

but also because he doesn’t want to embarass himself

he’s smitten and a bit of a mess but he’s also very tired so usually his lack of energy prevents him from doing something unusually stupid

if someone he doesn’t know questions him about his feelings he’ll deny it not to make you uncomfortable

but if a friend does he just tells the truth already having given up on the case

if you need help with something (and he works everywhere so location isn’t important here) he’ll gladly help you and will give additional tips

sometimes zones out staring

[goldenkamuyhunting]

Ramblings and crazy theory time about GK chap 263 “Oosawa Fusatarou, also known as Boutarou the Pirate”

And so we’re ready to talk of the chapter we got as a (rather sad) present for Christmas and of someone we shouldn’t forget…

Yeah, Oosawa Fusatarou, better known as Boutarou the Pirate

(for who’s wondering the quote below his name is actually based on this quote: "Stories are for joining the past to the future. Stories are for those late hours in the night when you can't remember how you got from where you were to where you are. Stories are for eternity, when memory is erased, when there is nothing to remember except the story." by Tim O’Brien)

So okay, now let’s dig into the chapter.

We first follow some of the escaping knights, the ones who were tailed by Hijikata. Hijikata shoot them but he’s displeased to discover he chased the wrong group as the sack they were carrying is filled with barley and that he didn’t manage to kill them at the first shoot as they stand up again and try to gang up on him. At this Hijikata takes his sword...

...and since Hijikata is not bad with the rifle but he’s usually much more awesome with his sword I don’t expect them to last long.

We then move to Tsurumi’s steam pumper where Sugimoto has his rifle in his hands... and he’s ready to use it as a primitive club... because he has figured not even that up close he would manage to shoot something. Okay so he is also holding himself up with his other hand so shooting would be difficult but really, I see Sugimoto using his rifle as a club way too many time to think this is an one time thing motivated by emergency.

Sugimoto favours to use it as a wand, if this can’t be done, he revert to using it as a rifle.

Anyway with hit he tries to break Kikuta’s head but Kikuta manages to lower himself right in this so Sugimoto gets close but manages to make no harm... well, apart from managing to knock from Kikuta’s hand one of his PRECIOUS Nagant.

This is a hard blow for Kikuta, more than if Sugimoto has managed to hit him, because everyone has his priorities.

Tsurumi too has his priorities and tries to shoot at them.

I doubt he genuinely bothered aiming as Tsurumi is usually much better with his gun (though yes, they’re on a moving vehicle, but really Tsurumi is good and they’re close). I’m sure he thinks hitting Sugimoto would be preferable but he wouldn’t be above getting rid of Kikuta whom he never fully trust... so Kikuta complains that what Tsurumi is doing is dangerous. I doubt Tsurumi cares.

But we go back to Boutarou and Shiraishi. The bottle car enjines are still roaring but the car is still. Boutarou is still alive but no more in shape to drive.

Shiraishi, sweating a little, is asking him ‘what the hell came over him’ as saving Shiraishi wasn’t Boutarou’s normal behaviour in Shiraishi’s books.

Boutarou, who’s clearly dying, tell him that he has messed up and therefore, since he saved him, Shiraishi will do better not to forget him and tell his children the reason they exist is ‘thanks to Oosawa Fusatarou, also known as Boutarou the pirate’. Shiraishi agrees and Boutarou tells him he also has to make something of himself as he can’t live his life as nothing more than the escape king.

As he says so... Boutarou hands him the skins he got from Kadokura.

Shiraishi says he understands...

...and Boutarou pulls him closer to reveal him the info he got from the Ainu about where is the place where the Ainu first gathered up all the gold. This surprises Shiraishi greatly but when he asks Boutarou for confirmation the latter is dead.

The next we see is Shiraishi driving the bottlecar, a dead Boutarou on his side, as he promises him he won’t forget him... OosaKA Fusatarou, also known as Boutarou the pirate (Boutarou’s surname is actually ‘Oosawa’).

Okay so I stop here to say Boutarou’s whole death felt very underwhelming. Shiraishi, who up to the previous chapters seemed concerned and worried for him even though Boutarou had betrayed them, now doesn’t really look like he’s feeling much, even though Boutarou has just saved him from death taking the bullets that were meant for him.

Sure, it can be that Shiraishi is a bit in shock, hence the lack of expression but really, I’m not particularly impressed. The only moments in which Shiraishi seems genuinely affected are when he’s surprised at hearing the location of the gold and when he says to a dead Boutarou that he won’t forget him. Though since it seems Noda wasn’t in his best shape when he drew this chapter, maybe this scene will be revised later on. Shiraishi seemed a lot more emotionally involved when Kiro died than now... and it doesn’t help that Shiraishi, at the end of the scene, spells Boutarou’s name with the wrong kanji. If it’s a joke to say that Boutarou’s name couldn’t even be remembered correctly, well, that’s not funny, placed at this point. If it’s a typo though, this is also something we can only find out in the volume version.

Overall, okay, I was expecting for Boutarou to die, and it was great how Boutarou, in his last moments, passed everything to Shiraishi while pretending to remain himself (oh, I made a mistake in saving you) yet still showing he cared for him by telling him to get a real life, something that was more than escaping from prison to prison, and something Boutarou has always insisted Shiraishi should search for himself so it’s not like he’s saying so just because he’s dying.

And I think that Boutarou’s death will affect Shiraishi’s future, the way Kiro’s death will affect Asirpa (will Sugimoto too have someone whose death will affect him? Kikuta? Hijikata? Ogata? We’ll see...) but really, I wanted to see Shiraishi reacting more to his dead, at least as much as he has reacted to seeing him wounded. Well, whatever, we’ll see if this gets improved in the volume version.

Meanwhile back to Sugimoto we go.

Tsurumi has given up on trying to shoot him and is merely driving the steam pumper carriage, while Sugimoto is pinning down Kikuta, taking care of not getting shoot by another of Kikuta’s beloved Nagants.

Sugimoto, with his irises white in full murder/beast more, demands to have Asirpa back and that he’ll send them all to hell. Now that Kikuta is lying flat on his back and Tsurumi couldn’t shoot him too by mistake, Tsurumi is taking good care not to try to shoot Sugimoto. I guess if Sugimoto kills Kikuta Tsurumi will consider it as a personal favour.

Anyway, at Sugimoto’s statement Kikuta says to do it as ‘they’ll be rolling out the red carpet for him’.

This rings a bell in Sugimoto, whose eyes return normal, and should ring a bell in us also as Sugimoto said this same sentence in chap 2.

With an almost vulnerable look Sugimoto seems to realize the man he’s strangling is ‘Kikuta-san’.

As he calls him that this rings a bell in Kikuta as well who realizes ‘the immortal Sugimoto’ is the one he knew as ‘Norabō’ (ノラ坊 “stray boy”)…

...which draws a funny parallel with how Ushiyama called Ogata ‘Nora Ogata’ (のら尾形 “stray Ogata”)…

...but this nick is more likely meant to be here to tell us the truth is Kikuta met Sugimoto prior to the war, when Sugimoto was wandering after he left his village, which might explain why Noda was very vague when answering to a question asking what Sugimoto did in those 2 years.

Q8: What did Sugimoto do in the 2 years between leaving the village after burning his house and coming back to Ume’s wedding? Noda: He travelled to places such as Tokyo and Kyoto. [translation courtesy of @piduai]

This might also explain why Sugimoto and Kikuta, despite knowing each other, didn’t recognize each other.

Sugimoto was younger, without his distinctive scars, with longer and more straight hair so Kikuta, who apparently never learnt his name, didn’t connect him with the boy he knew. As for Sugimoto evidently he didn’t pay Kikuta any attention when the latter was in Karafuto with Tsurumi and now he was so knee deep in the heat of the battle he likely paid no attention to Kikuta’s face, only seeing an obstacle in front of himself.

I’m genuinely curious to see how things will go between them, especially because, at this point, Tsurumi decides to try to shoot Sugimoto again (no idea if because he’d heard their talk and understood things could turn out unfavourably or because he decided the chance Sugimoto were to kill Kikuta wasn’t worth carrying Sugimoto with them, especially because, once he had dealt with Kikuta, Sugimoto would try to kill him), the shoot distracting an already confused Sugimoto and Kikuta, instead than taking advantage of this to try again to shoot him, just kicks him off the cart.

Sugimoto rolls on the ground with his rifle...

...again Kikuta making no attempt to shoot him and then resumes running after them, calling Asirpa.

At this point we see Asirpa’s face as she tries to call Sugimoto...

...but we can’t know if she’s with Tsurumi because the scene switches to Koito, Tsukishima and Nikaidou’s group and really, I would totally LOVE if Asirpa’s with them (so yes, I’m biased and therefore not reliable in trying to guess where Asirpa is) because, as they think they’re safe because no one is pursuing them, Koito’s horse gets shoot down by someone in front of them, causing Koito to fall.

Tsukishima thinks someone is following them when, in that moment, Sofia, MY QUEEN, jumps from the roof on Tsukishima’s horse.

So you see, of course I want Asirpa to be there and end up with Sofia as I’ve been anticipating their reunion for YEARS. On another side Koito and Tsukishima are in a really bad spot because not only Sofia is very strong and her men are probably with her (hence Koito’s horse could be shoot by someone ahead of him), but Sofia knows they had a hand in Kiro’s death and wants revenge, sweet revenge.

Now, I don’t want those two to die but it was high time the tiger curse were to come bite their backsides and Sofia is such a formidable foe even alone she could spank Koito, Tsukishima and Nikaidou with a single hand considering how she had no problems holding her ground with a tiger and with Gansoku.

On another side I really wanted Sofia to have a chat with Koito as there’s a huge chance Koito too talk French and I think it would be really good for our Bonbon if he could talk with a lady who used to be a bonbon herself but grew out of it to became such AWESOME revolutionary leader.

Really, I’m so happy Sofia is back to the plot I can barely wait for the next chapter!

Anyway the story ends here, with Sofia ready to spank the boys while Sugimoto runs after Tsurumi. I expect Shiraishi will reach Sugimoto with the bottlecar and they’ll resume the chase and that Hijikata might possibly join them. That or Hijikata will join Sofia.

Will the Hijikata group join their boss as well?

We’ll see.

I doubt someone will catch up with Tsurumi though, and it’s entirely possible the next chapter won’t even spend a word on this as we’ve left Ogata and Vasily in the middle of attempting a sniper duel so next chapter might be about them.

We’ll see.

[justasparkwritings]

Exile: Five Whole Minutes

Previous: Breaking Branches

Pairing: Timotheé Chalamet x Reader

Genre: Angst, Slice of Life

Rating: PG15

Word Count: 1.8K

Warnings: Swearing

Summary: Timothée’s crossed the line... now what?

Exile Master List

         She left a kiss on his cheek as she ran down the stairs and out to the garage. She knew he’d remember her 10:30 workout, a Saturday staple, but she texted to remind him that today she had brunch with a few friends. She delicately wrote a note, which she set next to a freshly filled glass with water before setting it on the bathroom counter, ibuprofen next to it. She knew he would be dehydrated when he awoke, not only from their intimacy the previous night, but from the copious amounts of alcohol they drank.

         Timothée had begun shipping a few boxes home from vineyards and distilleries that he’d enjoyed while filming, often holes in the wall that had no Yelp review, often small family owned places. He’d send a case to his parents, one to his agent and manager, and one home. She loved that he brought home specialty liquor, particularly because it made their bar a little gauche and allowed her to feign any understanding of the complexities of alcohol. She preferred prosecco, preferably under $15 and easily accessible in her local grocery stores liquor aisle.

        Timothée was a connoisseur, a wannabe sommelier. He had an impeccable palate, which always terrified her when out at restaurants or catching a drink on a Thursday, unsure what to order. She often deferred to him, leaning on his expertise. At first, he thought it was charming, he liked that she wanted him to pick it out. In reality, she was avoiding looking like an idiot in front of a man she liked so much so quickly. Eventually she shared her insecurity, and the next time they were out, he asked if she wanted him to order for her, and since then, he had taught her a lot about alcohol, about making drinks, about which wines paired with what. In her heart, she didn’t care, but she felt more confident every time they went out.

           They loved sharing nights over a new acquisition. But it could also be their downfall. Last night they had tasted three different bottles of vodka, sipping slowly on their drinks while they caught up and made out.

           Timothée had returned on Tuesday from filming. Much like his other projects, he was completely burned out. Yes, set tended to have a lot of downtime, but Timothée was a pro, and he knew that the last two weeks were often the most grueling. Filming all hours, getting shots and different takes and angles on every scene. His body was physically worn down, and his mind had tried to separate himself from the incident two months prior. The minute he got to their house, she was waiting with a scalding bath, the perfect balance of Epsom salts and lavender. She knew him so well and slowly undressed him and herself, languidly moving into their tub. The music was low, the lights were dimmed, and they sat together, skin pruning, reacquainting themselves with the intimacy they had missed.

           She’d made dinner and they ate in comfortable silence. Then, she gave him a melatonin gummy and he passed out at 8PM.

           There was nothing like falling asleep in your own bed, in your own house, with the person you love, after being away for three months. His accommodations abroad were always nice, often over the top for him. He took it upon himself to become friends with the staff, to say hello to every member he saw, and he took his politeness very seriously, particularly in a country where he didn’t speak the language. But his own sheets… waking up to her … his own bathroom with the perfect water pressure … and a closet where his clothes were put away correctly, where laundry was done when he wanted it to be when, where he could cook any time of day. Their house was home, whether it was this estate or the flat in New York.

           He fell asleep quickly and awoke early afternoon to find her gone to work, but his favorite pastries from their local bakery waiting for him. Upon her return she found him doing laundry and making space for his new purchases. He left a surprise for her on the top of the counter in their closet, knowing she’d find it when she came up to change.

           “Babe, what’s this?” She asked, carrying the bag into the laundry room.

           “It’s a gift,” He said, folding the stack of t-shirts.

           “You didn’t have to,”

           “I wanted to,”

           “Tim, this isn’t because you feel-

           “No, it’s because I saw it and I thought you would like it. I like to buy you things while I’m gone,” He said shrugging.

           “I really like it,” She said, holding the bag tight to her chest.

           “I’m glad,” He stopped folding to take her in. She was still in her professional attire, hair pulled back and dangling earrings still in. “You look beautiful.”

           “Thank you, I had an important meeting this afternoon,” She looked up from the bag and caught him staring.

           “That’s a good color on you,” He said, moving towards her to rest his hands on her hips. She’d missed his touch and shivered at the contact.

           “Thank you,” She whispered, eyes darting from his lips to his eyes. He mimicked the movement and leaned in to kiss her. She turned her head. “I need to change.”

           She turned on her heels and walked back to their closet, silently screaming.

           Timothée didn’t protest or pry, he knew why she’d pulled away. Perhaps after dinner they would talk, air things out. She was often hesitant to be intimate when he returned, unsure who he’d been with… the fact that she knew, the fact that she’d spent Friendsgiving at her house and had invited her to movie nights made it worse. Maybe she needed more time.

           Which is how they ended up drunk and having sex in various places in their home all Friday afternoon, evening and night. There was something in the liquor that loosened her up, and something in how he looked and spoke to her that reminded her how much he loves her. It was also because of the alcohol that they had officially ended their open relationship, deciding monogamy was what they both wanted. The incident with Florence had caused them to reevaluate their relationship. Wasn’t that the point of a relationship? To grow and challenge one another, and at the end of the day, make decisions together? It was on that note that they had made love most of Friday, and why he was sleeping until eleven on Saturday.

           Timothée was awoken by his phone ringing and loudly vibrating off the nightstand. Jolted from his dreamless slumber, he quickly reached for it and furrowed his eyebrows at the caller ID.      

“Hello?” He growled softly as he cleared his throat.

           “Hey Timmy, can we meet for coffee? I have something I need to talk to you about,” Florence said.

           “Oh, yeah. Sure. When?”

           “Can you do 30 minutes?”

           “Uh, yeah, yeah, where?”

           “Do you want to just come here?” She asked.

           “Sure, see you in 30 minutes,” He hung up the phone before jumping out of bed. He made the bed quickly, and thankfully tossed back the water and ibuprofen left for him. He scanned the note while he brushed his teeth. He slipped a baseball cap over his curls and slid into his favorite trainers. He hopped into his car, grateful that she was kind enough to put gas in it and drove off.

           It was three hours later when he heard the garage door open. He tried to wipe the snot from his face. He wondered if he washed his face quickly, would it make a difference?

           She came in through the garage, singing. As the door shut behind her, she was stopped by how quiet it was. Their home was never quiet, particularly in LA, where they often played music or podcasts throughout the house. As she paused, she listened, where was he?

           “Tim? Timothée?” She called moving through the kitchen. “Babe, where are you?” It was then that she heard a sniffle from the living room. She turned down the hallway and beelined for the space.

She stopped dead in her tracks as she took in the sight in front of her. His eyes were swollen and puffed. A pile of tissues sat on the coffee table, the box flipped on its side, no tissues left. His hat was long forgotten, the pile of tissues starting to form a dome on top of it. His curls were blown from his hands running through and tugging them. He glances at her through swollen eye lids.

           “Babe what’s wrong?” She asked, rushing to his side. He engulfed her into his arms, tears falling onto the exposed skin of her neck and shoulder.

           “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” He sobbed.

           “Tim, what’s going on?” She questioned, still holding him.

           “I’m so sorry,” He cried.

           “Tim, you’re starting to scare me. What’s wrong?”

           “Florence called, she wanted to have coffee,”

           Her mind began racing. She called today, she knew of their arrangement, had she decided she wanted more from Timothée? Had he slept with her, a day after they had decided to be monogamous? Had she called to say she gave him HIV or Chlamydia? Was she dying?

           “Okay, and?” She whispered, bracing for the hit.

           “She’s, she’s pregnant, and it’s mine, and she’s keeping it,” He tried to breathe, to inhale the air she’s exhaling, but she was rigid.

           “What?” She asked. She could feel her entire body going cold, her eyes filling with tears.

           “Florence… She wanted to get coffee and she told me,” He said. He sounded like a teenager who had had sex for the first time and gotten his girlfriend pregnant at Christian Summer Camp. Like his entire life was over, like his future was ruined. His voice was already pleading, though he didn’t know for what.

           “She’s pregnant?” She whispered.

           “Yes,” He said.

           “And it’s?” She asked.

           “Mine.” His voice cracked. “She wanted me to know and said we could talk about how involved I wanted to be. I have to think about it! I, I’m going to be a -

           “Okay,” She said, arms dropping to her sides. Her tone was hollow. “I’m um, congrats. I’m going to ...”

           She stalled, brain trying to work in overdrive to compensate for the sludge it was peddling through. She decided on her next action before running up the stairs. At first, he thought she was slamming the door to tell him to stay away. But then she came down the stairs, large suitcase packed. She didn’t stop to talk. She didn’t stop to listen to him. She didn’t stop to console him or offer him support. She didn’t stop as he called her name, as he followed her to the garage. She didn’t stop as she watched him fall to the floor in the space her car once was. She didn’t stop as she drove away from the house and the life they shared. He didn’t stop calling after her, even after his knees hit the concrete, the snot and tears mixing on his tongue as he tried to will her back.

Next: My Town

[thatonedildonamedfrancois]

“This Town” Damianette Songfic

Waking up to kiss you and nobody’s there

Damian reached over to her side of the bed, only to feel nothing but the cold mattress. A pain struck him straight to his chest. He had forgotten once again.

Right.

He missed her. He just couldn’t help himself, even if it was his fault.

He was the one who let her go, he shouldn’t be reaching out for her, but he found himself doing things he shouldn’t be doing quite often ever since she left.

The smell of your perfume still stuck in the air

He groggily got up, having spent another night out drinking. The smell of her favourite perfume hit him, making him wince.

Oh God.

How he wished he could go back to when he’d smell it from the crook of her neck when he hugged her. He still remembered when she first bought it. He was with her, hell, he even picked it out.

It's hard

He got up from his bed with great difficulty. Ever since he let her go, Damian has been stuck in a depressed state. He had trouble doing the easiest of things. Eating, sleeping, laughing. He couldn’t bring himself to do them and if it wasn’t for his family, he wouldn’t.

Yesterday I thought I saw your shadow running round

He was completely off balance ever since he broke things off. He followed a strict schedule. He’d sleep in till the afternoon, wake up, train, go on patrol with his family, go drinking, come back in the early morning and sleep. Rinse and repeat every day since she left.

Yesterday was no different. He’d done the same thing as he did every night, but something was off, he felt in in his gut. As he was heading to the pub, he could’ve sworn that he saw her shadow swinging from the rooftops as she had done countless of times with him, but when he looked up he saw nothing. Not even his brothers that he knew followed him every night. Just the sight of that shadow made him drink even more the night before.

It's funny how things never change in this old town

Even before he knew her, Gotham had been infested by villains. There were so many there that they probably beat the number of rats that were hiding in the sewer system. Damian would actually compare them to those rodents but rats learn from their mistakes.

Now, this place is no different. Criminals practically on every street corner. The only difference is that he had changed and everyone knew it. Nobody, not even Bane, dared to approach him. No one wanted to go near the Ice Prince, not when he had just lost his Princess.

So far from the stars

He remembered when they would lie down on the rooftops and look up to the sky hoping to see the stars. They never did, there was to much light pollution, but they tried and they loved it more than anything. Those quiet moments together are some of the things he misses most.

And I want to tell you everything

God, how he wished he could talk to her. He wanted to tell her about the time Jason tripped over his own foot right before jumping from a rooftop or about the time Tim was complaining about being so tired even though he’s been drinking coffee only to realize that he bought decaf. He wanted to tell her how much he missed her and how he longed to have her in his arms. How he regretted letting her go.

The words I never got to say the first time around

During the entire three years and a half that they dated, Damian never said I love you. Not once. I admire you, sure, but never I love you. She knew it though. He went out of his way to make sure that she did, but he never said it and fucking hell, how he regretted it. He knew that she longed to hear him say those words, just like she did, but he never could. He didn’t try hard enough.

God, he remembers when she said it to him. He felt like he was on cloud nine for weeks after. He had just gotten back from patrol and she was sitting on his sofa, Titus’ head on her lap. Damian knew she was tired yet she stayed up to see him so, before coming back home, he had bought her her favourite cookie box. When he gave it to her while pressing a kiss to her forehead, she looked up at him with the warmest smile in the world and told him she loved him. It had surprised him, obviously, but after she said it, he couldn’t get his hands on her fast enough.

And I remember everything

He remembers that night just like he remembers everything about her: their first meeting, her favourite coffee shop, the time he asked her out, her favourite flower, their first date, her favourite restaurant, their first kiss, her favourite sweet, the time he realized he might love her, their first time.

Everything.

And it played on loop in his head like a broken record player.

From when we were the children playing in this fairground

Hours later, Damian wandered around aimlessly for a while before coming across a park. Once more, the longing he felt came back ten times stronger.

When they first met, they were both ten years old and in this very park. He had just gotten taken in by Bruce and was being forced to socialize and hang out with kids his age. She was on a trip with her parents and got lost. From the moment she bumped into him, they were practically attached to the hip, mostly by force. She forced him to take her email so that he could keep helping her, much to his annoyance. She messaged him so much that when she didn’t, he’d get worried. Slowly but surely, she had grown on him and he wasn’t planning on letting her leave.

But that was a long time ago.

Wish I was there with you now

He wished he could go back to when they first met and slap his younger self, telling him to stay attached to this girl and not be a brat. Telling him that she’s the best thing that ever happened to him and to savour every moment they have together before he ruins things.

If the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you

He remembers her first televised charity event where she auctioned off some of her creations. He had grabbed her by the hand and taken her to the dance floor where he planned to ask her out. He twirled her and dipped her, making sure she laughed since he knew she was stressed about the event and hadn’t taken any time for herself. They’re dancing was caught on tape and the video was trending for a while, even more so when people found out they were dating.

Drive highways and byways to be there with you

Fuck it

He was so done with himself being the overprotective alpha when he knew fully well that she can take care of herself. Hell, she could take him, the entire Batfam and every criminal in Gotham with just a look. Imagine if she was trying.

His dumbass had decided that she was in to much danger with the League and the Joker constantly trying to get him, so he broke up with her. But now, he’s done with that stupid ass decision of his. So he hacked her phone and found out where she is, hopped into a car and drove off to her.

Over and over the only truth

He knew it now. He knew it more than anything. He loved her and he was going to tell her. He had to try to get her back, he wouldn’t forgive himself if he didn’t try.

He loved her.

Everything comes back to you

Everything he knew was connected to her. His entire life could be tied back to her. So when he drifted into a parking spot in a bar that he had gone with her after every exam they had, he had already planned what to say to her.

I saw that you moved on with someone new

As he walked in, he saw her. Well, he couldn’t miss her. She lit up every room and had a sort of aura around her that made people look at her. Also, she was dancing on a table.

He stood and watched her until her song ended before making a move towards her, but before he reached her, he saw someone else lend her a hand helping her get down.

In the pub that we met he's got his arms around you

They had come here countless of times together. This was their place. Damian was the one that broke things off, telling her to move on, but he couldn’t help but feel betrayed. Here was this random guy with dyed blue hair holding his princess in his arms in their pub.

Who does this guy think he is? Her boyfri- oh...

Damian stood there looking at them. He saw her laugh and smile as if he didn’t exist. As if they never happened. He knew that he broke things off months back, but it still hurt like hell watching her with this guy. How did she move on so fast while he was still stuck in a depressed state? Then again, she always was good at hiding her real feelings.

Please don't cry. Please don't cry. Please don't cry.

It's so hard

Please don't cry.

He couldn’t look at them anymore and stormed out. He got into his car as his eyes started to blur and drove off as fast as he could. Pain like nothing he’s felt before erupted through his chest.

Dying hurt less than this. Fuck.

So hard

Fucking hell. I'm crying.

He eventually had to pull over since he couldn’t see. His face was soaked with tears and he couldn’t see two feet in front of him. He went out and sat on the hood of his car trying to calm down, but every time he’d close his eyes, he saw her and that wretched blue haired boy.

And I want to tell you everything

He wanted to tell her that he had done a mistake by letting her go. That he finally realized how stupid he was. That she was right, like she always is, and that she can take care of herself. He wanted to tell her that they are a team and can help each other. He should, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it at the moment.

The words I never got to say the first time around

He needed to tell her that he loves her more than he needed to breathe air and with the way he was hyperventilating, it really was a necessity.

And I remember everything

He missed her so much he could practically taste her cooking and smell her favourite candles aroma through the air. He knew his brain was playing tricks on him, but he let himself close his eyes and reminisce back to those moments.

From when we were the children playing in this fairground

He opened his eyes finally being able to see and looked around. On his right, he saw a deserted playground.

Obviously, it’s two in the fucking morning.

To his surprise, he actually saw two kids running around in the playground. The longer he stared the more he realized that they weren’t actually there. He was imagining it. He was able to see through them, but what unnerved him the most was that it was obviously his younger self with the love of his life.

Wish I was there with you now

He stared at the illusion for a while, letting himself remember how those moments felt. He remembered being happy, but he just couldn’t for the life of him remember how that felt now. But he sure as hell is going to get that back.

Right fucking now.

As if the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you

As he drove back to the pub, a plan formed in his head. He knew exactly what he had to do to get back in her good graces and he was going to make sure that he stays there.

Drive highways and byways to be there with you

He was most definitely speeding. If he were to race Flash right now, he wouldn’t win, that’s for sure, but he would surely give him a run for his money. He was easily going fifty over the already high limit of the highway and he was pretty sure that police were going to start coming after him soon. But he didn’t care. Correction, he couldn’t care. He was too preoccupied with his plan to worry about the police. Also he was driving a car that clearly belonged to his father, making it even less likely that the police would even bother to stop him.

Over and over the only truth

God, he loved her. He truly needed her in his life otherwise he’d be lost. He didn’t care how dependent that sounded because he knew that it was true.

She was his soulmate.

Everything comes back to you

As he drifted in a spot for the second time that night, he knew that he couldn’t walk out again without talking to her this time. His brothers would surely make fun of him for it.

You still make me nervous when you walk in the room

Damian stormed into the pub, more determined than he was for anything in his life. He spotted her once more. She was still standing next to the blue haired man. Just at the sight of him, he felt his heart clench. He wasn’t going to back down, even if she had someone new in her life. He had to tell her how he felt.

It’s now or never.

Them butterflies they come alive when I'm next to you

As he approached her, he felt butterflies in his stomach. Hell, he felt the whole damn zoo. God, he was nervous.

He gently tapped her shoulder and waited for her to turn towards him. At the sight of him, her eyes widened in shock.

“Can I please talk to you? Maybe somewhere more quiet?” he forced out.

She stared at him for what felt like an eternity before she nodded slowly and let him lead her outside.

Over and over the only truth

Everything comes back to you

And I know that it's wrong

That I can't move on

But there's something about you

Okay, tell her now. You may not have another chance.

“Okay, I’m going to start from the main reason as to why I’m here. I love you. So much. So much so that I swear to god that I have trouble breathing when I think about the depth of my love for you. And, god, I was such an idiot for not telling you when you deserve to be with someone who would shout it from the rooftops.

I know that idiot could’ve been me, but that’s another reason as to why I’m here. I miss you. I miss having you in my arms and waking up to you next to me. I miss going out on missions and kicking ass together and telling you everything and just being with you. I miss you.

Look, I came here earlier and I saw you with that blue haired guy in there and how you were laughing the same way you used to laugh with me. Which makes me believe that you’ve probably moved on, but I need to tell you that I haven’t been able to even look at another woman. I can’t try to be with someone else when I had been with you. You are the one who I’d be willing to change everything for. You are the one. I don’t know how else to put it into words other than this. You’re my soulmate.

I didn’t come here expecting you to suddenly run back into my arms, but I just wanted to tell you.”

If the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you

By the end of his monologue, they had attracted all the eyes of those in the pub and those in the parking lot. He hadn’t realized that he raised his voice. He felt them scrutinizing him but he couldn’t care less, not when she still hasn’t said something.

She just stood there looking at him silently, taking his words in. She approached him slowly still staring at him. As she cupped his face gently, she whispered to him:

“All I’ve ever wanted was for you to open up to me. I love you too, Damian.”

They both leaned forward, meeting halfway, which caused the cheers of those around them.

Damian had longed for this kiss for months and now that he finally had it, he wasn’t going to let it be short. He wrapped his arms around her waist and smiled against her lips.

Everything comes back to you

Everything comes back to you

He drove her back to his, no their house. As they crossed the threshold of the house he turned back to her and smiled. It was only as he kissed her for the second time that night did he realize that they have an audience.

His family stood in front of them all of them wearing smiles on their faces. Alfred spoke first, quickly followed by the cacophony of the rest of the bat-fam.

“Welcome back, Miss Dupain-Cheng. Should I prepare the ingredients for tomorrow morning’s breakfast? Will it be another Marinette special?”

So what do you think? I’ve been working on this since december and I’m finally happy enough with it.

@2sunchild2

... idk who else to tag

[ollieofthebeholder]

leaves too high to touch (roots too strong to fall): a TMA fanfic

Tumblr tag || Also on AO3

Chapter 26: Jon

When Jon’s grandmother passed away peacefully in her sleep, not long after his twenty-fourth birthday, he quickly discovered that her life insurance and savings weren’t enough to cover all the bills that needed to be covered and put the house he’d grown up in on the market. He only vaguely remembers the whole procedure, as he was in something of a state of shock at the time, but he does remember accepting the first offer presented to him despite the realtor’s comments that he could “probably hold out for a bit more” if he wanted. Thus, he’s the only one not really startled at the speed with which he, Martin, and Tim find out that they’ve got the house.

To be clear: He’s not startled at the speed. He is, however, startled that they got it. Surely someone must have been willing to pay more for it, been better qualified. But no. They learn their offer has been accepted less than a week after the Primes’ disastrous encounter with Basira’s partner and the closing is scheduled for the following Friday. Martin theorizes that their position at the Magnus Institute gave them some extra clout. Tim jokes that it’s his charismatic personality. Jon frets that Elias might have had something to do with it for nefarious purposes.

Sasha finally does some research and tells them that it’s being sold by a pair of siblings barely out of their teens whose parents died unexpectedly and probably just need the money fast.

Martin doesn’t have much, just the little he managed to bring with him to the Institute when first escaping Jane Prentiss and the few things he’s re-acquired since then, and Jon’s things are still packed up from when he declined to renew the lease on his flat in August, so it’s mostly just Tim who needs to decide what he’s keeping and what he’s ready to part with or needs to replace. It takes them the better part of two Saturdays, but they manage to get everything boxed and sorted in time to move out the last full weekend of September.

The moving-in process is surprisingly fun. Sasha and the Primes even come to help (Tim suggests the latter so that Martin Prime knows his way around the house from the get-go, which is actually really sensible) and they make a party of it. Tim insists on setting up the sound system first, then gets everyone to contribute a certain number of songs to a playlist on some app he has on his phone. He puts it on shuffle and lets it play while they work together on the various rooms.

“Oh, my God,” Sasha moans after the eighth song that she evidently didn’t pick comes on. “Do any of you listen to a single band that’s put out an album since 1984?”

“Yes,” Martin says indignantly, his cheeks coloring slightly.

“Remasters don’t count.”

Martin Prime grins. “None of mine have come up, either.”

“What did you put on?” Sasha asks suspiciously.

She gets her answer a few minutes later when, after shuffle coughs up a Spice Girls song they all tease her mercilessly about, an honest to God sea shanty comes on. Tim and Jon laugh at Sasha’s dramatic, despairing groan, but it’s hard not to respond to the Martins’ enthusiasm as they—surprisingly—harmonize along with the recording while they set up the living room.

They’re almost done assembling the new bed Tim bullied Jon into buying (“You’re not in uni anymore, you don’t need to be sleeping on a futon, and anyway, when was this made, the Thatcher premiership?” “Brown, and shut up, Tim.”), which is the last piece of furniture they need to put together, when there’s a sound from the front door—two firm, solid knocks, audible all the way upstairs. Jon nearly drops the screwdriver as his heart kicks against his ribs. It’s stupid, and he knows it’s stupid, but two knocks like that always makes him think of that book.

Tim makes a noise in the back of his throat. “God, hope the music isn’t too loud.”

“I don’t think that’s it,” Martin says, but he sounds uncertain. “I-I mean, it’s been ages.”

Jon pushes himself to his feet. “I’ll check.”

He hurries out of the bedroom before anyone can comment on the clear break in his voice. He is, and there is no way to deny it to himself, legitimately afraid of what might be outside. The likelihood of it being a being of another entity is slim, but…well, there was Mr. Spider, and Jane Prentiss knocked on Martin’s door more than a few times to keep him off-balance, so there’s always the chance. It’s something he feels he can deal with, though, so he heads out to face it.

He does not, however, expect to open the door and be faced with what is either a small child or a casserole dish with tennis shoes.

“Hello,” a tiny voice says brightly from behind the dish. There’s a bit of shifting, and then two big brown eyes and a mass of curls appear over the rim. “I’ve brought you a cake.”

Jon will deny to his dying day that those words freeze his blood in his veins and make his heart stutter to a stop, but since this might actually be his dying day, he’ll be lying if he tries. His lips part, but no sound comes out.

“And a casserole, too,” the child continues, completely oblivious to Jon’s unwarranted panic attack. “That’s not as much fun, though, but Nan says it’s important to eat good, hearty food when you’ve been doing lots of work and that cake shouldn’t be a whole meal. I think there’s no point in being a grown-up if you can’t eat whatever you want, but…” The child heaves an enormous, dramatic sigh that seems too large for such a small body. “My Nan’s very, very old, and you don’t get to be old if you don’t do something right, so she must know what she’s talking about. Anyway, we made the casserole with lots and lots of cheese and she said that was okay, so at least it’s a little better.”

“Ah—thank you?” Jon manages. “H-here, let me…take that.”

He manages to extract the casserole dish, which certainly feels as if it’s laden with cheese; it weighs the proverbial ton. Quite possibly a literal one. It’s solid enough to anchor Jon to reality, though, and he studies his benefactor. The child can’t be more than seven or eight, at the most, with a round face and limbs hidden in an oversized, threadbare sweater that looks like it’s been handed down through more than a few generations. Dangling from one arm is a wicker basket that does indeed appear to contain a cake.

“It’s a chocolate cake with marshmallow frosting,” the child says. “I tried to write ‘Welcome to the neighborhood’ on it, but I didn’t put the tip on the piping bag right and it came off, so now it’s just a mess, but it’ll taste just as good, I promise. My Nan makes the best cakes.”

Jon smiles in spite of himself. “I don’t think I have enough hands to take it from you now. Would you mind bringing it into the kitchen for me?”

“Oh, sure!” The child practically hops over the threshold. “I always wanted to see what this house was like on the inside. Tibby used to babysit for me sometimes, but she always came over to our house, never me coming over here. Nan says it’s better that way, and Tibby always said it was laid out exactly like all the other houses, but it’s not the same as seeing it for yourself. Firsthand knowledge is best, that’s what I think. What do you think?”

“I—I think I agree with you,” Jon says. He also feels a bit like he’s staring at his younger self. “I assume you live in one of the other houses on the row?”

“Two doors down,” the child agrees cheerfully. “With the window boxes. My Nan likes to garden a bit, but she can’t bend over so much anymore, so Toby set up the window boxes for her a couple years ago.”

“And, uh, who is…Toby?”

“Oh, sorry, I thought you knew. Toby McGill. He and Tibby—that’s his sister Tabitha, but everyone calls her Tibby—they were the ones selling this house after their parents died. He’s at Surrey University now and he says he’s going to stay out there when it’s all said and done, and Tibby got a job on a boat.” The child sounds deeply impressed. “I want to be a sailor someday, too. Can you imagine getting to see the whole wide world by water and getting paid for it, too? I’d never want to leave. I told Tibby she has to save a spot on the crew for me and she laughed and promised, so I can’t wait. I’m going as soon as I grow up. I’m not going to university. You don’t need to go to university for everything, you know. I know Nan really wants me to go ‘cause Mum didn’t and neither did Dad and she doesn’t want me turning out like them, but you can turn out well even if you don’t go to university, can’t you?”

“Absolutely,” Jon says gravely. He casts an involuntary glance in the direction of the stairs, thinking of Martin. “One of my housemates didn’t go to university, and he’s one of the most brilliant people I know.”

“How many of you live here, anyway?”

“Just three of us.” Jon has no idea how much this child has seen and how many people he knows are in the house at the moment.

“Oh. There used to be three of us in my house, too.” The child scuffs a toe against the carpet just before they step into the kitchen. “And then there was going to be four, but Mum died and the baby did, too.”

“I’m sorry,” Jon says softly, feeling a pang. “I grew up with my grandmother, too.”

The child looks up at Jon and smiles, in such a way that Jon can’t help but smile back. “And you turned out okay.”

“Debatable,” Jon says. He sets the casserole dish on the counter. “I’m Jon, by the way. Jonathan Sims.”

“I’m Charlie. Charlie Cane.” The child smiles up at him and hands over the basket. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise. Tell your grandmother we said thank you. I don’t know that any of us will have the energy to cook tonight. We’ll bring back the dishes tomorrow.”

“There’s no hurry. Nan doesn’t go anywhere.” Charlie flashes Jon a grin that’s missing two teeth, then turns and waves to the doorway. Jon glances up to see Martin, looking somewhere between worried and amused. “Hi! I’m Charlie Cane. Welcome to the neighborhood. Do you live here, too?”

“Um…yes. I’m Martin Blackwood. It’s…nice to meet you?” Martin raises an eyebrow at Jon.

“Charlie and his grandmother made us a casserole,” Jon says, gesturing at the counter. “And a cake.”

“That’s very nice of you. Thank you.” Martin smiles at Charlie and winks, although Jon doesn’t quite understand why.

“Welcome.” Charlie’s beaming smile could probably light the house for a week. “I’d best go before Nan thinks I’m doing something stupid again. See you later!”

He’s out the front door before Jon can respond, or even blink. He looks back to Martin, who isn’t even trying to hide his amusement. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine, Jon. We were just wondering if you were okay. You were gone for a while.”

Jon gestures vaguely at the front door. “I don’t think that child has many people to talk to. Or at least not many people who will listen to him.”

Martin snorts. “I think you’ve got yourself a new best friend.”

Jon almost wants to say something flippant like Just what I need, but thinking on it, he actually doesn’t mind all that much. “Considering how much I would have given to have an adult pay that kind of attention to me when I was his age, I think I can handle that.”

Martin reaches over and pulls Jon into a hug. Jon lets himself be comforted for a moment, then extricates himself gently and smiles. “Come on. Let’s see if the others are ready to eat.”

As it turns out, the others finished putting together the bed and even made it while Jon talked to Charlie, so they’re all too happy to come into the kitchen for a hearty meal. It’s exactly as cheese-laden as Charlie promised. Jon recounts his conversation, to general amusement, although something flickers briefly across Martin Prime’s face and Jon Prime shoots Jon an understanding and slightly frightened look when he repeats Charlie’s opening words. If anyone else notices, they give no sign of it.

Tim lets the music keep playing while they eat. Jon mostly tunes it out, no pun intended, and he rather suspects the others do too. But just as they’re scraping their plates clean—the food is delicious, and Tim declares he’s going to try and charm Charlie’s grandmother out of the recipe—Martin Prime suddenly tilts his head to one side, as if trying to catch a sound. A smile twitches at his lips, and he stands up and holds out a hand to Jon Prime. “May I?”

Jon Prime looks startled for a split-second, then smiles—no, grins—and places his hand in Martin Prime’s. He lets Martin Prime pull him away from the table and into his arms, and the two of them start slow-dancing.

Jon pauses, fork suspended over his plate, and watches them. Jon Prime lets Martin Prime lead him in a simple box step, one arm draped casually over Martin Prime’s shoulder, while Martin Prime’s hand rests firmly at his waist; their other fingers are laced together in a way that would make it difficult to telegraph intended moves if they didn’t—probably—know each other so well. The space between them is so little it’s a wonder they don’t constantly trip over each other’s feet, and before long their foreheads touch. The song is gentle and plaintive, encouragement from one partner to the other to trust and relax and allow the first to take care of the second, a promise that the second person won’t be considered weak or lesser if they allow themselves to be comforted.

I promise you’ll be safe here in my arms…

Martin Prime lifts his arm and spins Jon Prime around gently, and when Jon Prime comes back into the closed frame, he leans his head against the shoulder where his hand isn’t resting and closes his eyes. Martin Prime pulls him closer and rests his cheek alongside Jon Prime’s as they continue dancing. It’s one of the most intimate and romantic things Jon has ever seen, and he almost has to look away from it.

Almost. Not quite. Something keeps him drawn, and there’s a tiny part of Jon’s brain that suggests it probably isn’t just the pleasure at seeing someone who’s basically him safe and happy and in love mixed with the vague sense of longing for something like that—maybe not that exactly, but something like it. It may also be that watching the Primes slow dancing means he doesn’t have to look at anyone else.

The song plays itself out. Martin Prime turns his head slightly; Jon Prime turns his at the same time, and their lips meet gently in the middle. This time Jon does look away. He’s never quite been able to figure out how he feels about kissing, to be honest; it’s one of the things that sent his and Georgie’s relationship down in flames, was the fact that he always acted like you think I’ve got poison in my lip gloss, according to her. But he finds himself wondering for a moment what Martin’s lips would feel like against his, if they’d be as soft and warm as the rest of him. If it might make a difference to kiss Martin instead of Georgie, or Meredith, or Kelly. And that’s not a question he’s comfortable asking himself just then, let alone trying to answer.

The scrape of a chair breaks his attention, and he looks up to see the Primes sitting down like nothing happened, although they’re still holding hands. Tim clears his throat. “Who wants cake?”

The cake is, as promised, a bit of a mess—it looks like someone tried to tease out the blob created by the icing tip popping off with a toothpick or something, but the resultant design looks like the pictures someone showed Jon once of a web woven by a spider that had been fed caffeine, and the fact that the icing is bright red doesn’t help—but it is absolutely delicious.

Afterward, Tim and Jon store the leftovers while Martin and Sasha start on the dishes. Jon Prime glances at the kitchen clock and touches Martin Prime on the shoulder. “We should probably go. The later it gets, the more likely that…someone might cruise by the Institute, and I’d rather not risk that.”

Martin Prime squeezes Jon Prime’s hand gently, and Jon swallows on the sudden surge of nausea. They haven’t seen anything of Detective Tonner, and Basira didn’t say anything about her when she showed up last week to switch out the tapes, but the memory of the Primes’ faces when they stumbled back to Tim’s place to change and return his car is a hard one to shake. Even though Jon Prime swears he and Daisy eventually became friends, it’s the eventually that sticks out, and Jon isn’t sure what he’ll do if Daisy turns up at the Institute. It’s also obvious that the Primes are more afraid of her than they’re letting on.

Tim opens his mouth, probably to invite them to spend the night or something, but Sasha beats him to it. “Can you wait a few minutes? I’d rather not walk to the tube station by myself, if it comes to that, and I think you said there’s an entrance to the tunnels near there.”

Jon Prime frowns slightly. “I…don’t think I did, but there is.”

“We’ll walk with you, Sasha,” Martin Prime assures her.

Tim sighs theatrically. “I feel a little better, which is a relative statement not to be taken as approval.”

“Your objection is duly noted.” Sasha hands Martin a plate to dry.

All too soon, everything is cleaned up, just as the playlist comes to an end, and there’s really no way of stalling them further. There’s a round of hugs and see-you-Mondays, and then Sasha and the Primes head out the door, leaving Jon, Martin, and Tim alone in their new house.

It’s not that late, comparatively, so Jon suggests a card game. They’ve played most nights since Sasha went back to sleeping in her own flat; they’ve played a couple of games of Rummy or Go Fish, and Tim once tried to teach Jon and Martin a game he learned from his grandparents that uses a forty-card deck (Martin picked it up quickly, Jon did not), but most of the time they play Crazy Eights. Tim declares that they’re going to keep playing until either he or Jon or both manage to overtake Martin’s score, which is clearly going to be an impossible task, as he’s up by nearly a thousand points and consistently wins at least three or four games a night. Still, they give it a valiant effort. After Martin manages to go out while both Tim and Jon still have an eight each in their hand, though, they decide to call it quits for one night.

“Someday I’ll figure out how you keep doing that,” Jon says, shuffling the deck lightly before putting it back in the box.

Martin shrugs. “Practice, I guess? I used to play with my granddad a lot when I was younger. We kept a running total, too, and I think I was up three thousand points or so when he died.”

Tim gives a low whistle. “How old were you?”

“Nine. We’d been playing pretty regularly since I was five. At least one game every time I went to visit.”

Jon thinks back to the conversation he and Martin had in Tim’s kitchen the morning after Prentiss’s attack. “Is this the grandfather who had the cherry trees?”

“You remembered.” Martin looks pleased. “Yeah, he was my mum’s dad. I never met my dad’s family, that I remember anyway.” He pauses. “You, uh, you told Charlie you were raised by your grandmother. Was that…?”

Jon didn’t know Martin was there, but he’s kind of glad he doesn’t have to figure out how to bring it up. “My father’s mother. She was…formidable. My father died when I was two, from an accidental fall, and my mother died a couple years later. Surgery complications.”

“I’m sorry,” Martin says softly. “That must have been hard on you.”

“Harder on my grandmother, I think. I was barely old enough to remember them.” All Jon remembers of his father is his laugh, and he’s fairly certain that most of his memories of his mother come from his aunt.

Tim leans forward, resting his arms on the table. “Is she still around? Your grandmother?”

Jon shakes his head. “She died just before I started working at the Institute. What about yours, Tim?”

“My dad’s dad is the only grandparent still around. I think.” Tim worries at his lower lip with his teeth for a moment. “I’d like to think someone would call me if something happened, but I don’t know.”

Martin hums sympathetically. “Is he…in a home?”

“Not as far as I know. Last I heard, he was still living with my parents. Moved in when Granny died, just after I left for university.” Tim sighs. “We’re not…close. After Danny…”

Jon reaches over and touches Tim’s arm gently. “It must be hard on them, losing a son. No parent expects to outlive their child.”

“That’s just it. Mum refuses to believe he’s dead.” Tim smiles weakly. “No body, you know? Dad isn���t sure, but he also thinks I know more than I’ve told them. Grandfather all but accused me of having a hand in Danny’s disappearance.”

“What?” Jon blinks, shocked. “How could anyone think you’d—you would never.”

“I know, but…well, Dad’s family was always a bit conservative, blue collar and all that, and I’m…well, me. I think that’s why Dad encouraged my hiking and camping and all that. Hoped it would knock some ‘sense’ into me,” Tim says with a wry twist of his lips. “Once I came out as bi, though, I think they decided there was no hope left for me. It just got worse after Danny died.”

Martin’s expressive face closes down, and Jon’s stomach lurches. This is the most they’ve talked about their families in…ever, he thinks, but from the little bits of information Martin—and Martin Prime, for that matter—have let slip, Jon has formed a very unfavorable impression of Martin’s mother. He’s always kind of had a hazy idea that Tim’s family situation was better, especially after he heard the pride in his voice when he talked about Danny when giving his statement, and finding out that it wasn’t much better than theirs…

“How old were you?” he asks, not sure why. “When you—told them.”

“Seventeen. There was a guy I’d been seeing—nothing serious, really, but we had fun together—and we went out for Valentine’s Day. My parents were confused because they knew my girlfriend and I had just broken up before Christmas and I hadn’t mentioned another girl, so I told them about Steve.” Tim gets quiet for a second. “Mum cried. Dad just…told me to stop upsetting my mother and never brought it up again. Not until Grandfather started in on me.”

Jon swallows. “You’ve a great deal more courage than I have. I—I never admitted to my grandmother that I ever had any interest in boys, let alone dated one.”

“Only one? You’re missing out.” Tim’s grin is a pale echo of his usual one, but it is at least genuine. “How ‘bout you, Martin?”

“A few.” Martin relaxes with a visible effort that makes Jon’s heart ache. “Been out since I was fourteen. Mum reacted…about as well as she reacted any other time I told her something she didn’t like or did something she wasn’t expecting. I never brought anyone home to meet her or…really talked to her about my dating, and she only ever brought it up in relation to herself. Like saying it was a good thing there wasn’t any risk of me passing on any of my numerous undesirable traits to a helpless child.”

“I don’t think your mum understands what ‘bisexual’ means,” Tim points out.

“Probably not, but it doesn’t matter. I’m gay.” Martin grimaces. “I’m also ace, so no risk there anyway, but…”

Jon wants to say any child would be fortunate to count you as a father or I can’t think of a single undesirable trait about you, but what actually comes out is, “Ace?”

“Uh, asexual. It’s—I don’t…get attracted like that. Romance, sure, aesthetic stuff and all that, but not…” Martin gestures vaguely. “Tried it anyway, for a couple of guys I was with, but i-it didn’t go well.”

Jon’s world view shifts abruptly on its axis. Tim, though, looks suddenly worried. “Are you okay? They didn’t—”

“No, no,” Martin says quickly. “It wasn’t—I just don’t like it. That’s all.” He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Never bothered telling Mum that part. She wouldn’t…I’ve done enough damage.”

Tim pulls Martin into a quick one-armed hug, and Jon reaches across the table to squeeze his hand as gently as he can, but they change the subject after that.

They end up sitting up for a while in their new living room, relaxing. Tim props his feet up in the recliner and works on a crossword; Jon curls up at one end of the sofa with a book he’s been meaning to read for years that Jon Prime assures him he’ll love; Martin sits at the other end and knits. It about bowled Jon over completely when he learned that Martin made most of the sweaters he wears, but the sight and sound of him working away has become increasingly familiar in the last few weeks, especially after the Primes and the rest of the crew collaborated to get him an array of needles and knitting wool in all colors of the rainbow for his birthday. Jon usually finds the gentle clicking of the needles soothing, but tonight it’s just a hair distracting, and he keeps glancing up from the page to watch Martin’s fingers as they expertly manipulate the yarn or Tim tap the eraser of his pencil thoughtfully against his jaw while he contemplates an answer. He’s not even quite sure what he’s looking at.

Finally, Tim lays down his puzzle with a sigh. “I think I’m gonna turn in,” he says, sounding oddly reluctant. “Long day and all that.”

“Yeah, I’m just gonna—” Martin works a couple more stitches and folds up his project. “Probably a good stopping place for tonight.”

Jon considers saying he’s going to stay in the living room and finish the chapter he’s on, but if he’s being completely honest, he’s been on the same page for however long it’s been and hasn’t taken in a single word. Silently, he slides the scrap of paper he’s currently using as a bookmark back between the pages and closes the book. “Well. Good night, then.”

“’Night, Jon.”

The bedrooms are all upstairs, two on one side and one on the other with the bathroom handy, and the three of them wish each other goodnight again before disappearing into their rooms. Jon closes the door and looks around the room, his room.

There’s not much to it, to be honest. A nightstand, a dresser, a battered desk he’s had since he was a child, a lamp and the bed. He sets the book on top of the desk and changes into his comfortable sleep clothes, then crawls into the bed and pulls the covers up over his shoulders.

It’s…odd. No, not odd. Jon can’t quite think of the right word for it. But the sheets feel unfamiliar against his skin, and they don’t smell right, either, probably because they’re new. The mattress that felt perfectly comfortable when he tested it out in the store doesn’t seem to afford the same comfort now, and he wonders if the floor model has simply had much of the stiffness tested out of it over time. Even the pillows, which he did retain from his old bedroom setup, seem determined to thwart his attempts to find a comfortable position.

He rolls onto his back and stares up at the ceiling, arm draped over his midsection. He won’t fall asleep like this, he’s always been a side-sleeper, but his mind is a seething roil of emotions and he needs to get his thoughts under control before he can even have a hope of getting comfortable enough to sleep, he guesses.

Asexual. Jon probes at the word, at what it describes. I don’t get attracted like that. I just don’t like it. Honestly, until meeting Georgie, Jon had no idea that sort of attraction really existed; he thought it was just something out of the lurid romance novels his grandmother favored and he’d read once or twice in sheer desperation. It was something she’d wanted, though, so he’d tried a few times, but his efforts hadn’t satisfied her and he never really saw what all the fuss was about. He can take it or leave it, preferably the latter.

He never knew there was a word for it.

Suddenly, he wants to talk to Martin about it, about how he realized, how he knew. Where he found the word. If there are many more like—well, like them, he supposes. If that’s one of the reasons he was reluctant to tell Jon how he felt. He wants to ask about Martin’s experiences, if they were bad just because his body didn’t want them or for some other reason. A part of him also wants to cry from sheer relief. He isn’t broken. There’s nothing wrong with him. Well, not in that respect, anyway.

He sighs heavily and rolls onto his side again, plumping the pillows and curling one arm around them. They’re too flat, he thinks idly, too soft and yielding. Which is odd, because that’s never bothered him before. He can’t seem to get warm, either, which is also bizarre because it’s been an unusually mild day for late September and he’s under the duvet he’s had for years, which suddenly seems too light and insubstantial. The room is too quiet and still. It all feels…wrong, somehow.

Jon closes his eyes and stubbornly tries to force sleep, to no avail. The sense of wrongness pervades his being, curling through him and keeping him tethered to consciousness. He runs through the list of problems he seems to be having and tries to come up with which one might be keeping him awake. The only thing he can think of is the unfamiliar mattress. Everything else is exactly the way it was in his old flat.

And when was the last time you slept there? The thought hits him all of a sudden, and his eyes snap open. He forgot. The last time he slept in his apartment was the night before Jane Prentiss attacked the Institute. Ever since then, he’s been sleeping in Tim’s living room…or in Tim’s bed. With the others.

That’s all it is. He isn’t used to the silence of being alone. He’s not used to not knowing, right away, exactly where Tim and Martin are and if they’re safe. He’ll just go and check on them, see that they’re safe, and he’ll be able to get to sleep just fine.

He throws back the covers, slides his glasses back on, and heads into the hallway. Jon somehow ended up in the room by the bathroom, while Tim and Martin are on the other side of the hallway. Martin’s room is first, though, so Jon heads there. He’s as careful as he can be. Martin is probably asleep by now. He definitely seemed tired while they were still in the living room, and Jon wonders if he lingered because the other two were still sitting down there. It makes him feel slightly guilty, like he should have called it a night earlier so Martin can get some sleep. And after all, they did have a very emotionally draining conversation, which probably exhausted him as well. All that runs through Jon’s mind as he slowly, slowly eases the door open and peers around it to see into Martin’s room.

It’s sparsely furnished; nothing but a bed and one of those flimsy pop-up cloth jobs bisected into cubes, which is serving as his dresser. Martin’s laptop and phone sit on the floor, both connected to their chargers. The bed is mussed slightly and shows signs of having been occupied, but Jon’s heart rate accelerates when he looks at it. It’s empty.

There’s no sign of a struggle, he tells himself, and he heard nothing, so surely everything is fine. Martin’s probably just in the bathroom, or downstairs getting a glass of water or something. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. Jon will just…go check on Tim and Tim will be fine and then he’ll go find Martin and make sure he’s fine and it…will…be…fine. He pulls the door closed and turns to Tim’s room.

The door is slightly ajar, and there’s a faint glow coming from the room. Jon hesitates, then taps lightly on the door three times before easing it open. Tim is sitting up on the bed, cross-legged and leaning forward slightly. And—Jon’s shoulders slump in relief—Martin is there, too, on the edge of the bed, one leg hanging off the side and the other tucked underneath him. They’re talking quietly, but both obviously exhausted. They look up at the sound of the door opening and watch Jon stand in the doorway. He opens his mouth, then realizes he doesn’t know what to say and closes it again.

“Couldn’t sleep either?” Martin asks gently. The circles under his eyes are almost black.

“No,” Jon admits. “I—I just wanted to—” He breaks off, still not sure what to say.

Wordlessly, Tim holds out a hand. Jon lets the bedroom door shut behind him as he comes forward and takes it. Martin wraps an arm around him from behind, and the two of them pull Jon onto the bed and into a lying-down position. Tim rolls over and snaps off the lamp by his bed, then pulls the covers up over all three of them. Jon manages to reach down and snag the middle to help.

“Better,” Tim murmurs.

It’s not a question, but Jon hums in agreement anyway. Trying for levity, he says, “Shame to waste money on new beds, though.”

“We’ll be able to sleep there eventually,” Martin says. Jon only realizes how much stress was in his voice when it’s drastically lessened. “At some point we’ll probably want the space. But for now, there’s this.”

“For now, there’s this,” Jon agrees. He tilts his head back briefly to rest it against Martin’s shoulder, and Martin scoots in closer.

Tim does, too, the two of them sandwiching Jon securely between them. “Get some sleep,” he says. “It’ll be all right tomorrow.”

Jon yawns and closes his eyes, and it doesn’t really surprise him when he falls asleep straightaway. The nightmares are as present as ever, but in the morning, he can almost fool himself into believing they weren’t so bad.

Almost.