#also for FUCKS sake you dark magnus people get away from me

[zestys-world]

I was going to make a case for a mdzs!tma au but then it came to me, tgcf!tma

Spoilers for both series under the cut. Major spoilers. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Xie Lian who is Jun Wu's version of Jonah Magnus's Jon. Someone puppeteered to be touched by ever major fear.

Xie Lian's The Buried? See Guoshi Fangxin being buried

Xie Lian's The Corruption? Human-Face disease

Xie Lian's The Dark? Not seeing the sun for a century would do it.

Xie Lian's The Desolation? When his temples and statues were destroyed, his legacy torn and burned.

Xie Lian's The End? He has truly been surrounded by so, so much death.

Xie Lian's The Eye? His very public fall from grace.

Xie Lian's The Flesh? Also Human Face disease! And all the other body horror he's seen in general.

Xie Lian's The Hunt? Bai Wuxiang chasing him down and swooping in when he's most vulnerable. Also just. His own monster of the week hunting.

Xie Lian's The Lonely? Remember when he said a malovent spirit tried to drive him mad and Xie Lian welcomed it because it was some company? Yeah.

Xie Lian's The Slaughter? "It hurts."

Xie Lian's The Spiral? The amount of times he has been made to doubt his own mind. (Re: When Xie Lian considered that Bai Wuxiang could be his own soul).

Xie Lian's The Stranger? Bai Wuxiang.

Xie Lian's The Vast? He's always made to feel insignificant.

Xie Lian's The Web? Once again, Bai fucking Wuxiang and Jun Wu.

Honorable mention to The Extinction being the human face disease (notably when XL was ready to unleash it)

I know that the fears back then were probably not as concrete as when tma is set but i just thought it was interesting! I could totally see a modern au of this too at the good old Magnus Institute. If Jonah Magnus takes over the body of a Chinese man is that him being lowkey racist?

Also when Jon went all paranoid in s2 and drove everyone away- XL after his first banishment. I can see it so clearly I swear.

Also, Hua Cheng was touched by the fears too;; right? Completely unintentionally. (Buried: Mount Tonglu, Corruption: Butterflies maybe? could also just he HFD again, Dark: He's probably spent years hidden in temples without a candle so he doesn't get caught, Desolation: 33 gods, End: He's died like;;; thrice? good enough, Eye: probably being bullied for his eye and wanting people to stop looking at him so he can disappear or how he could only watch as people drove a blade into xl's chest, Flesh: He tore his eye out and put in a sword for heaven's sake and just;;; ghost city vendors, Hunt: He's got that Prey turned Predator smugness, Lonely: Must I explain this., Slaughter: Tonglu probably but he's seen a lot more than that, Spiral: Def has been on the verge of going insane multiple times and doubting his memories, Stranger: ghosts shenanigans prolly, Vast: Falling at the parade, Web: he created his own trap for the 33 gods).

So this royally fucks up plans and boom love wins.

[kinkymagnus]

please don’t send me super salty asks about the latest shitty fandom things. they get me a little upset. i can deal with a little, but some of the just super fucking racist/homophobic/whatever stuff just gets me so angry it’s exhausting.

please DO send asks in general tho!!! i’d love to hear from you

fic prompts are closed, but asks are open! and i mean, you can try and send a fic prompt, maybe it’ll spark something and i’ll at least answer it as an ask, i’m just not promising i’ll write something for it. 

basic dni (dont interact) in tags, but like, really looking at you, book stans and inc*st shippers. get the fuck out

this blog is fairly inactive but i still answer asks if you wanna talk about any spicy magnus/malec content! <3 

[phoebenavarro]

the more things change

rarepair time! I have not known peace since mag117. feat backup archivist martin with beholding powers

the magnus archives, martinelias, 2100 words, warning for dubcon kissing

read on ao3 here

“Jon is in trouble,” Martin says as he bursts into Elias’s office. A few months ago, the concept of doing something so brazenly rude to Elias would have made him freeze on the spot. It’s funny how things change, Martin thinks bitterly, and how things stay the same. He’s still terrified of Elias, although now for completely different reasons.

“Martin,” Elias replies, “Come in. What can I do for you?” He glances up at Martin briefly before returning to his paperwork.

Martin’s brain stutters. He didn’t really think this through, and he didn’t expect Elias to be so nonplussed.

“Jon’s in trouble,” Martin repeats, some of his anxiety chased away by a need to do something slowly creeping back in, “and I’m worried,” he finishes, summoning back the indignation he feels towards Elias at all times lately.

“Did something in particular happen?” Elias asks, “Because ‘worried’ seems to be a constant state of being for you.” He sounds bored, and that makes Martin angry, angry that Elias clearly doesn’t care about Jon’s well-being, and deeper down, angry that Elias doesn’t take him seriously.

Martin scoffs, but he realizes he can’t really explain what actually brought him to Elias’s office. He clenches his jaw.

“I don’t know!” he grits out, “Jon was fine, on the bus in America, then he was at a rest stop and a woman came up to him and forced him into her car.”

That makes Elias look up, and his gaze is even more piercing than normal, like he’s trying to rip through Martin with his eyes.

“How did you know that?” Elias asks, his tone so severe that Martin folds in on himself.

“I-I don’t know!” he squeaks, and he frowns. He realizes he really doesn’t know how he knew that. “I just— I had a feeling, I guess…?” He trails off. Even he knows how weak that sounds.

“I don’t think you did,” Elias says, raising one of his perfect eyebrows at Martin, “You just knew, didn’t you?”

Martin stutters, trying to come up with some explanation, but he realizes that Elias is right. He just knew.

Fuck, Martin just knew. He sinks into the chair across from Elias, stunned. Elias’s face breaks out into a grin. He chuckles quietly.

“See, this is what I like about you, Martin. You don’t lie to yourself. Oh, you may spend all your time lying to everyone else, keeping them at arm’s length because you’re terrified they won’t like you if they get to know the real you, but you’re honest to yourself.”

Martin stares at Elias, thrown off-kilter by being told such intimate things about himself so matter-of-factly. He wonders if that’s how Elias sounded when he did whatever it was he did to Melanie. “W-what?”

Elias leans back in his chair, grinning. “You know, when I asked you to start recording statements, I never expected you to progress quite this quickly.”

Martin’s eyes harden. “Are you saying I have freaky eye powers now? Like Jon?” Of course Elias planned for this, wanted this, and Martin just went along with it. Elias stands and crosses to the other side of the desk, perching on it across from Martin.

“Not quite like Jon, no. Jon is the Archivist. I’m sure your own Becoming will be different.” Elias turns his gaze back to Martin, but this time it feels more appraising. Elias leans forward, and Martin feels cold dread pooling in his gut. “I’m actually quite pleased. This is a promising development.”

“R-right, but what does that actually mean, though?” Martin asks, trying to stay calm and refusing to think of the implications of him being able to just know things. Elias wants to knock him off balance, keep him a stammering mess so he won’t get any answers out of him. “Is this going to keep happening? Will I develop other… abilities?”

“Yes, it will keep happening as you get stronger. As for if you’ll gain more abilities, I don’t know, Martin.” He leans forward. “But I’ll enjoy watching.”

“O-Okay, but what does that mean? Practically? I mean, the Eye’s not giving me these powers out of the goodness of its heart. What do I have to do? Can I stop it?”

Elias smiles at him with an almost unbearable fondness, which Martin has never seen from him before, and it makes Martin uneasy. “I’m afraid there’s nothing you can do to stop it at this point,” he says, and Martin sighs. Figures. “You don’t need to be doing anything you won’t be doing already, just reading statements.”

“Right, as I become less and less human,” Martin spits.

“Being human isn’t everything, Martin. You’re not going to stop being yourself.” Elias’s smile turns cruel. “But maybe you’d like that, to stop worrying about being good and nice all the time. Doesn’t it get exhausting?” Elias asks conspiratorially.

Martin narrows his eyes at him, refusing to rise to the bait. “You knew about my CV the whole time, didn’t you,” Martin says. It’s not a question, but Elias answers anyway.

“Oh, yes,” he chuckles, “It’s why I hired you in the first place. It impressed me, honestly. Such a bald-faced lie, you were so terrified, but you barely even flinched. It was charming, really.”

“Charming,” Martin repeats skeptically.

Elias tsks. “Come now, Martin, I know you don’t think highly of yourself, but is it really so hard to believe that someone would find you charming?”

Martin seriously doubts that anyone has found him charming in his life. Cute, maybe, but charming? No.

“Why…” Martin begins, but he shakes his head, “It doesn’t matter. What about Jon?”

“What about him?”

“Is he in danger?”

“Almost certainly,” Elias smiles, “but he’s survived worse. You’ll just have to trust me.”

Martin starts laughing. “You— you cannot expect me to trust you, after you trapped all of us here, after you let Sasha get killed— for God’s sake, you admitted to murdering two people! And now! I’m getting monster powers because of you.”

Elias rolls his eyes. “Martin. Don’t start lying to yourself now. I gave you the push, but you embraced the Eye on your own.” He places his hand on Martin’s shoulder, his thumb resting against Martin’s neck in a possessive way that makes Martin’s heart skip a beat. “Your need to know more hasn’t been as fervent as Jon’s, but it’s there. You tell yourself it’s to help Jon, but really, it’s all you.”

Martin finds himself unable to move away, despite how much he wants to, almost hypnotized as Elias moves his hand up to cup Martin’s cheek. His breath catches in his throat. He has no idea the last time he was this close to someone, and even on his loneliest nights, he never thought Elias would be the next person to touch him like this.

Martin has no way of knowing if Elias is actually telling the truth, or if he’s just trying to manipulate him. Probably a bit of both, he thinks.

“I just don’t know how you can keep letting Jon get hurt,” Martin says, trying to push on like Elias is not tenderly cradling his face, “I mean, he’s your archivist, whatever that means. I’d think out of all of us, he’s the one you’d care what happens to.”

Elias sighs. “I don’t like it much either, but that’s how these things go. It’s necessary for Jon to grow into his potential.”

“So, what?” Martin stares at Elias defiantly, “You’re just going to leave us in the dark? Let us get killed? Do you care at all?”

Elias strokes Martin’s cheek with his thumb, and Martin shivers. “I am sorry about Sasha,” he says quietly, “I didn’t want that to happen to her.”

And Martin, God help him, believes Elias. Maybe that’s why he still doesn’t pull away when Elias’s other hand comes to rest at Martin’s hip, when he leans in to press his lips to Martin’s. Martin freezes as Elias kisses him, but Elias doesn’t seem bothered that Martin isn’t responding.

“What are you doing,” Martin breathes as Elias pulls away briefly.

“I thought that was obvious,” Elias quips, and he settles into Martin’s lap, straddling him. Martin makes a surprised noise, but he doesn’t push him away.

“Why, then?” Martin asks, looking at Elias warily.

Elias squeezes his hip. “Because you’re mine,” he says with a predatory glint to his eyes. Martin’s blood runs cold, and now he tries to push Elias away, but Elias’s grip on him tightens, and Martin can’t get the leverage he needs. “The others may also be tied to me, but none of them have embraced their roles like you have. It has been truly a pleasure to watch you come into your own over the years.”

Martin looks away, his eyes burning. He thinks about his younger self, when he started at the Institute. He had been absolutely terrified of Elias and the way he seemed to see right through him, but also because he thought Elias was gorgeous. He still does, he supposes, especially with Elias so close to him. They’re so far beyond that now; Martin wishes Elias was just a normal, intimidatingly handsome boss. Elias brushes one of Martin’s curls behind his ear before leaning in to whisper in it.

“Do you want to know what I think? Being trapped working at the Institute doesn’t upset you as much as you think it should. Where else would you go? You’ve worked here your entire adult life, and few places will be as open to your lack of formal qualifications. You want to be angry like Tim, but you’re actually relieved. For the first time, you’re not worried about losing your job. You hate the way reading statements makes you feel, but you love feeling useful. For Jon,” he nibbles on Martin’s earlobe, making Martin gasp, “And for me.”

It’s horrible, but what’s more horrible is how Martin doesn’t want Elias to stop. He doesn’t want Elias to stop touching him; he doesn’t want Elias to stop telling him all the awful things about himself Martin usually buries deep within.

Elias grips Martin’s chin and forces him to look him in his grey eyes. Eyes that are unusually warm, and Martin’s face is so hot that he’s sure Elias can feel it.

“Oh, look at you,” Elias croons, “You’re lovely.” And that is finally too much for Martin; it feels like Elias is mocking him, there’s no way he can be sincere.

“Stop,” Martin says, and it feels far too much like begging for mercy. Elias frowns.

“Alright,” he says, “But I do mean it, you know. You are lovely like this.”

“Get off me,” Martin says, and he tries to make his voice sound as commanding as possible, but it comes out breathy and weak.

“Is that what you want? Really?” Elias asks, idly running his hand up Martin’s flank.

No, Martin’s treacherous brain says, and Martin desperately tries to remind himself that the man sitting in his lap is a murderer. Elias grins like he heard that, and hell, maybe he did; Martin doesn’t know how his powers work. Martin doesn’t know what he wants at this point, clearly, only that the weight of Elias in his lap shouldn’t be as comforting as it is.

Elias presses one more chaste kiss to his lips before climbing off Martin with a contented sigh.

“Well,” he says, “I think this development is worthy of celebration, don’t you?” Martin stares at him, slack-jawed as he continues. “Would you like to get dinner tonight?”

Martin knows he should say no, should tell Elias to fuck off, and he should tell Elias off for kissing him and touching him like that on top of everything else, but. It’s an opportunity to get Elias alone and maybe get some answers out of him for once, and Martin can’t pass that up. He knows that’s giving into the Eye even more, and he can already hear Elias’s smug voice telling him just that, but he can’t keep living like this, constantly in the dark, not knowing what’s going on or if Jon has been kidnapped again. Martin’s going to get a stress ulcer at this rate. And well, if it’s true that there’s no way out of this for him, then at the very least he’s going to use this to help the others as much as he can. (Martin ignores the way he can still feel the ghost of Elias’s lips on his own, or how he doesn’t actually hate that Elias had kissed him.)

Martin shrugs. “Sure, if you’re paying,” he says, and he doesn’t miss the way Elias gives a genuine laugh at that. Elias acting so openly… fond of him will take some getting used to, but as they walk to the restaurant Elias has chosen, Martin finds himself thinking of ways to exploit that affection.

[khaleesiofalicante]

HI, IT'S ME! YOUR LOCAL CHAOTIC WEIRDO!!!!! I'M BACK AGAIN LIKE I AM TWICE EVERY WEEK

IT'S MY BOY DAVID THIS TIME! WHY AM I SO HYPER! MAYBE BECAUSE THEY KISSED! AND I HAD TO SUPPRESS MY SCREAMS BCAUSE IM IN CLASS AND THE REST OF MY FAMILY IS OUTSIDE MY DOOR (NOT LITERALLY OFC)

OK OK OK OK OK OK

MAX AND DAVID ARE AT THE LONDON INSTITUTE YESYESYESYES

He rather liked that part in a story – when the hero fell, and everything seemed bleak. It always meant that hope was just around the corner. Because darkness never lasted. It was always followed by light. There was nothing more beautiful than that kind of sunrise.

THIS

I literally live my life by this analogy

AHHH DAVID IS ON HIS TRAVEL YEAR AND MAX IS WITH HIM

SCREAM

well i can't scream because my mom is sitting right there and I have class in 4 minutes so imma smile really wide

“Are you planning to read the entire library during your travel year?” Max chuckled.

“Of course not,” David replied. “I will need longer than a year to accomplish that goal.”

Me.

Wait

does max not being able to make portals have something to do with his lineage?

like

demon parent

ok so my programming class started 2 minutes early but screw programming I'm gonna be studying minds not this shit

ok that's a very bad attitude for someone who needs good grades in this year

Max was always hungry.

this is so me

KIT

KIT

KIT

KIT

KIT

KIT

TY

THEY MENTIONED TY

also if David doesn't become an institute head in the future THEN WHAT'S THE POINT

“Where is the kitchen?” Max interrupted.

max is such a mood

He had told Max that he had centuries to perfect his magic, that there was no need to rush it. Max had given him a noncommittal nod and nothing more.

HE'S GONNA MAKE THE BEST PORTALS YOU'LL SEE

“I won’t tell the Consul,” Kit winked.

At the mention of the Consul, David straightened up. He had been trying to get into Alec Lightwood’s good graces for years now. He didn’t think sharing a room with his son would do him any favors.

DAVID UDUCDFUHKDUHVUHSDH

PLEASE IF WE DON'T GET A CUTE ALEC AND DAVID SCENE SOON

KIT CALLED TESSA MOM

oh my god

Word was that Mr. Herondale had gone back to his obsession with brewing tea.

JACE

I have so many emotions right now but all I'm gonna say is that I'm so so proud of Rafael

“Do you not want to sleep with me?” Max asked.

UH-

WELL-

DAVID STOP THINKING ABOUT THE FUTURE AND ALL THE SHIT

STOP IT

OH MY GOD THE ONE BED TROPE

MAX IS IN HIS ARMS I'M ABOUT TO-

takes a deep breath don't scream. everyone outside this door thinks you're taking programming class

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY

AWW JULIAN PAINTED PORTRAITS FOR THE INSTITUTE

The one of Will Herondale and Tessa Gray – A love that had transcended reality and lasted a lifetime.

The one of James Herondale and Cordelia Carstairs – A love that had started with a lie and then blossomed into nothing but happiness and devotion.

The one of Lucie Herondale and Jesse Blackthorn – A love that had been so powerful that it rewrote the past.

The one of Jace Herondale and Clary Fairchild – A love that had walked through hell and shaken up the heavens.

And then there the final one. The one of Kit Herondale and Tiberius Blackthorn – A love that had survived distance and darkness and doom.

This omg...

He wanted a love story. The kind he read in the books. The kind he saw in these portraits.

But he wasn’t a Herondale. He wasn’t sure if he was destined for that kind of love.

HEY

DON'T THINK LIKE THAT

The first part though

same

He might have been a little too excited. It was biologically impossible to control yourself when you find a stranger reading your favorite book in the whole world.

SO TRUE

“I see you already made a new friend,” Max said.

He sounded a little…odd. As if he was not pleased that David had made a new friend.

honey...

take a guess

can I jump in and bash their heads together?

“You are thinking of conjuring chocolate syrup, aren’t you?” David chuckled.

“How do you always know what’s on my mind?” Max chuckled back.

Because I know you, David wanted to say. I just wish I knew what’s in your heart too.

OH MY GOD I CANT WITH THIS

“You get chocolate syrup! You get chocolate syrup! You get chocolate syrup!” Max was yelling, standing on the chair.

They residents laughed harder, and David shook his head fondly. He hoped one day Max would pursue a career in theatre. He was a born showman.

can I have chocolate syrup?

also, the way David is just so fond of him like DYUSDGYJCDYUJM

“By the angel, do you have to be a drama queen about everything?” the boy next to them muttered – not so quietly.

David blinked. That was uncalled for.

But Max being Max was completely unfazed. “Of course I do. My Bapa would be personally offended otherwise.”

exactly you rude little shit

Max often pretended like people’s words didn’t hurt him - just as he pretend that fire doesn’t burn or wounds don’t bleed.

wow ok stop calling me out

Is max jealous??????

is he??????

how are people so good at languages like damn

TY

TY

TY

TY

“Oh my god,” Max groaned. “Is he already telling people to check on me?”

LMAO

using mundane medicine...

that's risky

but it's also something that WILL help

can't warlocks tamper with the blood samples?

A part of him wondered if that’s why he had agreed to send Max away to London – at least for a week. Because sometimes you didn’t want other people to see you were hurting.

alec I really goddamn hope you're dealing with this well

some of whom had even decided to die than get help from a warlock.

alright then gets my knives but you chose this :D

Nobody brought a book down for breakfast if they didn't like to read.

yes but sometimes also to seem busy so people won't bother you or you won't look alone.

“I know,” the boy said as he walked past them to the gate. “I sat on the stairs and thought about life for a few good minutes.”

his family is the one who took over David's previous institute (i can't spell that. marse- marselli- wat??) methinks.

The gang always visited whenever all of them were in the city together. They would have so much fun! Of course, the 'fun' mostly entailed Rafael stopping Georgia from drinking random potions she found in the stalls, Selena stopping Lexi from opening a psychic booth to help people talk to Raziel and of course David stopping Max from running to the gambling booths.

LMAO, I CANT WITH THIS-

Rafe: I am anxiety.

me at any given moment

EW TESTICLES HE'S EATING THOSE-

ok maybe I'm the only person who's really picky when it comes to food and doesn't eat the majority of things

“Anything on Magnus Bane?” Max asked.

“No,” the woman snapped and shoved some of the letters into a bag and hide it under the table. “Leave Magnus Bane alone!”

“Appreciate your loyalty,” Max winked at her and started examining a diary.

I like her.

"Everyone should be participating in this" -my programming teacher

me, an intellectual: participating in what?? goes to the class web THE FUCK IS THAT

“Something for the shadowhunter?” the woman smiled. “Perhaps an unpublished snippet from the Beautiful Cordelia?”

“Do you have any love letters?” David asked.

“Hmmm,” the woman went through the pages. “I do have a correspondence between an Iblis demon and Christopher Lightwood? Would you be interested in that?”

if u don't mind I would love to see both of those-

you know I just remembered I have a computer assignment I need to submit by the end of this week fml

“Never fall in love with an immortal,” she giggled again. “We don’t like staying in one place.”

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

MAX WHERE ARE YOU

why are we using x and 3 in programming class what the heck is going on

“I’m not just some warlock,” Max said, his voice low. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.”

GIVE HIM THAT NECKLACE BACK

we usually have programming once a week on our physical school days and those are fun because my and my friend are continuously passing notes and talking to each other through writing

The scene where Max fought off all the evil people who tried to steal his valuable belonging. He would fight without breaking a sweat and throw magic fireballs at everyone and then get his necklace back. And then he would kiss David in front of everyone and it would somehow rain all of a sudden.

But life wasn’t a movie or a book. Life was just life.

life's boring

fuck life

I just heard a student ask "why are we not taking out the values of b and c" BESTIE I THOUGHT WE WERE DOING PROGRAMMING AND NOT ALGEBRA?????

“I know there wasn’t anyone to protect you before,” Magnus Bane had said. “But we are here now. We will protect you. This will protect you.”

He hadn’t wanted it back then. He didn't even want it even now.

He didn’t want something to protect him. Most importantly, he didn’t want to cover his scar. He didn’t want to hide it. He wasn’t ashamed of it. It wasn’t a mark of a victim. It was the mark of a survivor.

So, David had smiled and given the bracelet back.

“I never wanted to be protected,” David had replied. “I only ever wanted to be loved.”

The warlock had smiled at that and given David a hug. It had felt different than other hugs he had experienced since he had come to New York.

It wasn’t just the magic. Magnus Bane carried so much love inside himself you could literally feel it through him.

I'm gonna cry during my programming class (where we're doing variables apparently all of a sudden??)

this is so beautiful

“I wasn’t talking about Bapa,” Max said now. “I was talking about the other one.”

David chuckled at that. “Oh, yeah. He is definitely going to kill you.”

what flowers would you like at your funeral?

so Jackson has family troubles

I've definitely got that

yeah I know what it's like to be jealous of someone else's perfect family

JACKSON WTF

Is he trying to ruin max's relationship with his family???

oh hell no

JACKSON THE AUDACITY

“One stolen necklace, One broken nose and One bruised cheek,” he said. “And you’ve been in London for less than a day.”

kit seriously? but is he wrong though?

“This is what I get for falling for a Lightwood-Bane,” David sighed and walked through the portal.

WELL AT LEAST HE'S SELF AWARE

Jackson...

in some ways, I can empathize with him. my younger self anyway. but Jackson this is not how you do things

There was a moment of silence and then Magnus Bane giggled.

“I do love it when the quiet ones go feral,” the warlock grinned.

MAGNUS

NOT.THE.TIME

(me too)

“David!” Mr Herondale gasped. “Is your hand okay?”

yup that's Jace y'all

David hated violence. He hated fighting – which he was often not allowed to say out loud considering he was a shadowhunter.

But it was the truth. He hated hurting people – or even things. It made him feel sick.

“It’s alright, Chouchou,” Mr Herondale ran a hand through David’s hair. “Next time, just-”

“Use my words?” David asked.

“Just don’t get caught,” the man winked.

and that is why I would never want to be a shadowhunter.

I know saying that doesn't do anything but when I first read tsc I wanted to be a shadowhunter really badly and damn that was some time ago but now...violence of any kind is my biggest trigger idek why. and I hate that so much because what kind of a person gets triggered by loud voices and fighting EVEN ON SCREEN??? I usually just push myself to watch stuff because it's dumb. I refuse to see trigger warnings before reading a book or watching a show because damn it, I should be able to stand those things I'm, not a child. and it may be doing me more harm than good but I shouldn't feel like this in the first place

okay...that was long

ANYWAY

“David, I appreciate you standing up for Max,” the Consul said. “But next time, please try not to punch anyone in the face.”

“Yes, sir,” David nodded. “Because it’s wrong.”

“Because it means more paperwork for me,” the Consul groaned and then straightened up. “But yes. Absolutely. Very wrong. No punching people!”

LMAO ALEC

Jackson...

oh

oh

oh

I was wrong then

He was grinning. Magnus Bane must have raised hell in the shadow market.

that must have been fun

Max was doing that thing where he was not trying to pout but he was mostly definitely pouting. It made David want to kiss him. But then the Consul spoke, and David reminded himself he didn’t want to be the third person to get punched in the face this evening.

well-

“I understand that Jackson has been through a lot. But that’s not an excuse for him to hurt those around him. I learned that lesson the hard way. So, you shouldn’t excuse his behaviour.”

someone's trauma and pain is never an excuse to hurt others

but that doesn't mean we should invalidate their trauma either

“You can stay back and try to help him. I won’t stop you,” the man got up now. “But if he tries to hurt you-”

“You will unleash hell?” David chuckled.

“Worse,” the other man grinned. “I will unleash Lexi.”

that is much much worse

Books brought him comfort in so many ways. Just holding one in his hands automatically made him feel better.

oh my god

he gets it

I always have a book with me when I'm out even if I'm not gonna get the time to read it because just the weight and comfort of it in my hands or in my backpack brings me so much comfort and helps with my social anxiety so much

no one understands when I try to tell them that

you get it...

someone gets it finally

AYYY IRENE

“David, it’s very sweet that you want to protect Jackson,” Kit pointed out. “But literally no one is buying that. Not even Irene.”

The lynx purred on his lap as if she agreed with Kit.

“I could break into a liquor cabinet,” David said a little indignantly.

David is the nicest you can get

David wouldn’t. Apparently, everyone already seemed to know that - even the lynx he had met five minutes ago.

we are solving something in class and it's really quiet because we're all doing our work (I'm reading the fic so-) and this one person had their mic open and they kept on whispering their steps and it was so weird I cant-

BUT YES DAVID IS A CINNAMON ROLL. EVEN THE LYNX KNOWS

“We were talking about shitty fathers,” Jackson pointed out. “You’re welcome to stay.”

“I’m gonna need something stronger than red wine for this conversation,” Kit chuckled.

I remember that bitch

David used to do it when he was a child. He used to pretend his life was a story. He used to pretend everything that happened to him was happening to some other boy – a boy who wasn’t real. A boy who lived inside a book. Because it hurt a little less when you pretend like it wasn’t happening to you.

But the pain was still very real.

OK YOU CAN STOP CALLING ME OUT NOW

“I fucking hate ogres,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Was your father an ogre too?” Jackson asked.

“He was more like a harpy,” Kit snorted. “He was always flying and fleeing. I didn’t know how deep his talons were in my head until it was too late.”

you really like traumatizing all your characters, don't you?

I really fucking hope the ogre got what he deserved

and if the angel is dead then fuck everyone

“I mean, there was that time when Sebastian Morgenstern turned my father into the endarkened, and then he went around killing people. So, I would say he was more like a zombie,” the man was explaining now. “The zombie father tried to kill me but my brother killed him first.”

“Good lord!” Jackson said in shock.

Kit chuckled softly. “Boy do shadowhunters need therapy.”

they really do

He knew about those from New York. He knew Mr Herondale and Miss Fairchild went for one together.

YES GET THEM THERAPY

“Yikes,” Kit chuckled. “I’d prefer something classier. How about London Boys?”

“None of us are from London though,” Tiberius pointed out.

“The Beatles are not actually beetles, Ty,” Kit chuckled. “It’s just for pizazz.”

damn guys

Then the idea of a band turned into a possible YouTube channel where they would react to cute animal videos.

YS DO IT

“When people do awful things, really awful things, at one point we stop being surprised. Like what Valentine did to his children or what our fathers did to us or what those women did to Rafael. We might have been shocked or disgusted. But it wasn’t unrealistic, was it?”

“I guess not,” the boy said.

“Even when they did the most unimaginable acts of cruelty, it somehow managed to fit into our imagination. We accepted that the world can be unrealistically cruel. The kind of cruelty we will never understand. But why isn’t it the same for kindness? Why is that when someone is too kind, we automatically feel uncomfortable? We judge their intensions or think they are just pretending to be nice. We think they are being unrealistic. Why is that?”

we get so used to cruelty that kindness feels weird

“But that’s how our life works, doesn’t it? It’s a giant ball of what ifs and could have beens and if nots. What if my father had loved me instead of hurt me? Could I have been kinder if I was hugged instead of being abused? Would have I been a different person if not for my trauma? Our lives are an endless collection of theories about our real selves. The one didn’t we never had the chance to become.”

THIS

I used to spend a bunch of time on the what-ifs but those are useless. so screw the what-ifs and live in the present

“I guess we’ll never know, Jackson. None of us will never know how we would have turned out if things had been different for us. We never got the chance to be who were meant to be. Instead, we became who we had to become to survive what we went through. We will never know our true selves. We only know the version of us that made it through all the trauma.”

“Christ, that’s depressing,” Jackson said.

“It is,” David nodded. “But we made it through. We survived. I think we should focus on that.”

you survived. that's what matters

“There is nothing wrong with wanting to be rescued,” David smiled.

I wish I had heard this before...

maybe I don't always have to be strong. maybe it's ok sometimes just want to be saved.

I'm so happy that both Jackson and David found each other

David had learned Gaelic. Jackson had learned how to play the piano.

They had laughed and lived and loved and learned.

And they had survived – one day at a time. The London Boys.

they survived.

I know I'm always key smashing and screaming but these words, these lines, all these chapters mean so so much to me.

“You’ll write to me, won’t you?” David asked, hugging Jackson closely.

“No,” Jackson replied. “I will FaceTime you like a normal person, you weirdo!”

David laughed at that. “I prefer letters. They are more emotional.”

“I’ll text you,” Jackson countered. “With emojis.”

oh to have someone write me letters.

I love writing letters

once at the end of a school year, I wrote little letters to everyone in my class anonymously. even the people who had been mean to me. that was like 1-2 years after my transfer to that school and everyone practically hated me but I wanted to do something nice because who knows what someone is going through. I ended up not putting them in people's desks...

I threw them all away :)

but writing letters is superior

I often write my feelings down and give the letter to someone rather than talk to someone

if you receive a letter from me or a custom-made gift...you have reached my ultimate friendship

oh my god. THIS IS HOW I SHOULD TALK TO ONE OF MY FRIENDS ABOUT MY FEELINGS

It's kind of been a mess between us and I want to talk to her but I didn't know how to.

this is why i shouldn't send asks-

JACKSON CATCHING UP ON MAX AND DAVID

“You know what it means,” Jackson grinned harder. “Also, if that wanker tries to break your heart, I will break his face.”

“You know he is the Consul’s son?” David giggled.

“I’ve done it once and I will do it again,” Jackson shrugged. “He better treat you right.”

"wanker"

I HAVE A BRITISH ONLINE FRIEND AND THEY CALLED OUR AMERICAN ONLINE FRIEND A WANKER

AND OUR OTHER BRITISH FRIEND JOINED IN

WHILE ALL THE NON-BRITISH PEOPLE WERE LIKE "huh"

Lexi had cut her hair even shorter. Her girlfriend apparently got something called an undercut.

“Just in case someone dared to assume we were straight,” she had winked at him.

how many years has this fake dating been going on...

CENTURION SELENA

fterA the twins went to bed, David stepped out of the institute and went looking for his heart.

"went looking for his heart"

OH FUCK I FORGOT TO JOIN MY CLASS

MAX STOP DEPLETING YOUR SELF GODDAMN

And then somewhere along the way, Max’s heartbeat had become the steadiest thing in David’s life.

Max, with all his chaos and drama and danger, had become the steadiest thing in David’s life.

oh my god that's a parallel from canon

“Tell me why.”

“Ain't nothing but a heart break!!"

Max-

Max could make fireballs that killed demons on the spot. He could summon things from anywhere. He could heal people with his eyes closed. He was one of the youngest warlocks allowed to visit the spiral labyrinth.

Max was a warlock in every sense. A good one. A great one even.

he is so talented...

Only idiots would underestimate Magnus Bane’s power.

EXACTLY

He is probably going to be Consul like next week.”

David chuckled. “Next week?”

next week????

“Yeah, his smoking habits,” Max rolled his eyes.

Rafael wasn’t the smoker in the family. He knew who it was, but David would never open his mouth. It wasn’t his secret to tell.

this keeps on getting better

“It’s my hair!” David laughed.

“And you’re my David!” Max argued. “I say you are not allowed to grow your hair.”

MY DAVID

MY DAVID

MY DAVID

“I don’t want to downworld-splain it to you.”

Max blinked and then laughed. “You don’t want to what?”

“Downworld-splain,” David mumbled. “It’s when shadowhunters explain downworlders how to be downworlders.”

they were SO close to kissing

I'm gonna get in there and lock them in a closet together and tell them to FUCKING GET WITH IT

Remember who you are. Remember where you stand.

remember who you are. remember where you stand...

I know this is supposed to be about portals.

OH MY GOD THEY KISSED

THEY KISSED

IM SO CLOSE TO SCREAMING CLASS AND EVERYONE OUTSIDE THIS ROOM BE DAMNED

OH MY GOD DAVID FELL

reminds me of when alec fell down the stairs-

OH MY GOD I'M GONNA SCREAM

WE'RE GONNA GET MORE MAVID CONTENT SOON I'M SCREAMING INTERNALLY UYDRVFY7VSDU7UYVFSDUYGCADUYIGJCDSHJKGDVCSUGISDVHVF

ok, I have a computer assignment to get to and tests to study for. BUT I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO SO MUCH!! THEY FINALLY KISSED I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!

Also I know I tend to go off track and you can totally ignore that. i just go crazy. BYEE

This live blog gives me so much life you don't even know. I am go glad you enjoyed the chapter. I love hearing you rant about it. It's refreshing lol.

And I looooooove the lil anecdotes you share in between. Also wtf is a programming class like nobody wants to learn programme what kind of hetero nonsense I-

FINISH YOUR ASSIGNMENTS AND STUDY FOR YOUR TESTS I'LL SEE YOU SOON :)

[sword-of-summer]

All of them answer every question fuck you

ahahaha no i respectfully deny your "fuck you" and i accept the ask and so-

i am 5'10", and i don't wish to be taller or shorter- i am the perfect height for hugs and messy hair, and yep, i like it here-

dream pet would be a mix of golden retriver and a husky called Holly and a chonky cat called Loki- yes ofcourse my future kids have names everyone should name their future pets-

ripped jeans/black pants with a Darth Vader tshirt or a Ethnic Fusion Kurta with black sneakers/artificial leather slip-ons, and if it's cold, a black jacket open obviously- and a black wristwatch i love my black wristwatch.

favourite video game was Clash of Clans and going even back, GTA Vice City and, the og- MARIIOOOO

three things/people are Oreos, Nutella and Pizza. The Holy Trinity-

"Beware me my fingers are smeared with chicken popcorn grease"

you didn't mention an opinion, @chunkybirb, so imma give my opinion on Vanilla ice cream and Nutella- ANYONE WHO HADN'T COMBINED THESE TWO COMBINE THESE TWO THEY ARE FUCKING AWESOME

im either phlegmatic or melancholic bruh idk maybe ik or maybe not

im v v v v ticklish

not an allergy, but an intense hatred for ketchup- i vomit if it gets too close to me fuck you ketchup

im heterosexual

any between tea and coffee but full milk coffee (ik, kill me), never had cocoa- but i love a chocolate or nutella milkshake

both. both is good. (cat and dog)

i would be an elf cause hell yeah, knowledge and wisdom

favourite youtuber is Samay Raina, a stand up comedian turned youtuber who is just awesome-

as i mentioned in 1., i am 5'10"

i would not change my name cause it's the coolest fucking name ever, i am Tanay, and Tanay in Hindi means Son, and my parents literally named their son Son, and hell yeah i like it

i forgot how much i weigh- last i checked it was 75 kilos, but ive gained weight since 2019 so yep, gotta walk in the mornings

yes i believe in metaphysicality cause one- it seems cool- second- me and @theclassyghost discussed a metaphysical life theory that i really really like and metaphysicality gives preservation of knowledge so i believe in spirits

SPACE. SPACE. SPACE.

im not that religious, no

pet peeves no well nah not really

nocturnal def nocturnal i sleep at 4.50 anyway hehehehe

fav constellation is Cassiopeia

fav star is Sirius tho

what the fuck are ball jointed dolls

i do have a fear of losing people that's just anxiety i guess

yep, global warming is real

never thought that much about reincarnation tbh but maybe, i do

fav movie is Spider Man : Into The SpiderVerse and Inception and The Dark Knight Rises and Revenge of The Sith and yes, for my indian gang, 3 Idiots and Gully Boy

yep i get scared v v v easily

i have had no pets but i plan to once i grow up

@chunkybirb 's blog is fucking cool awesome and *chef's kiss* a masterpiece

blue calms me. i love blue.

live in Norway cause pretty lights, snow, and less people than this overpopulated country i am in

born in Mumbai, India

v v v dark brown like it's almost black but no it's dark brown

introvert

horoscopes and zodiacs, i do read them, never believed that much tbh-

HUGS I LOVE HUGS

i really wanna visit my brother i haven't met him in a long time i really wanna play cricket w him just like old times

my sister- she's annoying but well i care for her

nah

tattoos idk bruh im okay idk may get one or may not get one

nope, smoking is ewwww *vomits*

ah my crush- she's cool [ if she exists

when the chalk doesn't write on the board but goes iiiiiieeee I HATE THAT

a sound i love is rain pitter pattering i just hhhhhh sends me into happiness

nope fatass here

nope fatass here

favourite actors have to be eddie redmayne, oscar issac and pedro pascal- and margot robbie and winona ryder in the actresses section also yes, elliot page

bruh already answered in 30.

im okayish!! spotify and tumblr, cool combo-

my hair are okay being black for me

yesterday, monday, from 6.40 to 6.50

music

uhhh naah not that i know of

well in Rick Riordan's Magnus Chase books, the sword of Frey aka Sumarbrander TALKS and demands to be called Jack, so here i am

bakwaas, music and comfy

yep, i believe in evolution

unfollow on hate and when they dm me sending nsfw pics ugh why are people like that

follow, well, i like people and they seem cool, so i follow them

fav kind of person is the one who'll sit with me for hours not even talking and just vibing to music

fav animals are beavers, doggos and cats

three fav blogs are @chunkybirb, @theclassyghost, @little-boats-on-a-lake, @aredhel-of-gondolin, @sue-me-imbadass, @alleenkaas, @my-ackerman, @brrrrrrrrrrzone

fav emoticon has to be ☹ this me seeing my stupidity outrank others

fav meme has to be Butternut is a master of psychological manipulation

INTP

Libraaa let's go

no dog, i have

black darth vader tshirt, black pants, black sneakers and black wrist watch

i have no selfies my phone has no cameras i live in eternal darkness

what the fuck are platform shoes

i, uhhh, i remember weird things like what i drew in class in 3rd while i was supposed to be doing english

lazy ass here, no front flips possible

i like birds they fly

nope i don't Iike swimming i like blankets

wrapped up in blankets reading books sounds better than both

ketchup

hyperspace travel

nope none

reading writing eating sleeping

my friend

tumblr seems cool

i have around 60-70 idk

yes i can run but why

yes they do but what's the fun in that

nope I'd fall over

sapphire let's go

koala bear or panda

sunflower or the one on a lemon tree

ketchup store

one cup of coffee is enough, tysm

read minds that sounds cool cool yeaaahh

nope never wore it a black clothes guy here BatMan

winter winter all year long

i don't know and i don't wanna try

i don't know and i don't wanna know

everyone cause they are better than me

bookstores cause bookstores any bookstores

sneakers, black onez

apparently some gas bitches mixed up to form a planet

non vegetarian but i partake meat just twice or thrice in two weeks

i don't know they don't seem like liking

naaaaaaaah

bugs ew

spiders ew

about the fact that i come off as arrogant and overconfident while in reality it's just that my communication skills suck

i can draw averagely whenever im in a mood

this thing im answering but i like answering it

uhhhhhhh brain freeze- idk bruh questions are good they give knowledge

yep, while sleeping

ahh yes calming, they are

cloudy days cause fucking cool vibes

hehehe wouldn't you like to know, weatherboy

CumuloNimbus i really like it's name yknow nimBUS

dark blue, dark blue always or black

naaaah no freckles

fav thing is when they laugh and it's just happy and we're both laughing like shitheads but who cares we're rebelling against depressing life and we laugh

both. both is good [ fruits and vegetables

sleep but i have to answer 170 questions cause @chunkybirb

sky sky sky it's my blog's header duh uh sKy

sweet and sour candy. SWEET AND SOUR CANDY.

dim lights it makes me feel cool

ahhh so here we go- Mooncalfs, Thunderbirds, Phoenixes, Sphinxes, Dragons that seem to be Space Nebulae, and more and more and more

i really feel like a boomer sometimes

i love everything about this site/app it makes me feel happy cause i like the people and the posts

uhhhhh i think too much about everything cause i just do. i like thinking

"He's dead, guys. For the sake of The Force, please watch Star Wars now he wanted to discuss it with you" actually no i would just say "A big shoutout to Garlic Bread he loved Garlic Bread"

myself cause i should be sleeping but sleep is for the weak and i am the weak and the strong i am a paradox-

that i obsess too much on things and try involving people it never works out

nope. had braces for 4 years, that beat out teeth showing smiles

i prefer computer-tv ahahahahaha

never tried them, so IDK

naaaaah not motion sickness- never travelled by sea so idk seasickness

lobed ears

yep i believe that deeds do count in life and beyond

idk bruh i don't believe in physical attraction too much- bodies are fake- mentally/metaphysically tho, im a 7

ahhhhh many many Stupid Genius, Tani, Tanu, Tanya

i still do-

i really want to talk to a therapist. converse. and discover.

im both, i am both.

10:1 is the ratio- giving 10, receiving 1

uhhh nothing just when i am right and people use the old "disrespect" argument

3, Hindi, Marathi, English

girls

uhh no i am not

my hair i love them everyone says things about my hair but i love them

knowledge vibes i give, someone tells me- and that's all i ever wanted

anyone i know tbh, my mutuals, my friends, my discord friends

ahhh no i wouldn't but i wish i was born 20 years earlier

bleh bloo, neither like nor dislike

i don't know if i have one

i don't know, haven't had physical contact in a long long long time in a galaxy far far away

the above point stands but i would like to ig

anything i write, 3 hours later, i instantly hate just idk why

anything i write

that i am normal no i am not and i am not okay hahahahaha

65-70 ish people

somewhere around-

many many many don't ask please but okay if you do ask

somewhat

uhhhhh idr exactly but i won't tell in public duh uh

mediummm hairrrr

last year lockdown i became harry potter

i don't know buddy i seriously don't know

yep i do cause knowledge i like knowledge

naaah never tried

no i definitely cannot stand on my hands or my head for more than 30 seconds

yep, im pretty sure i answered most of them correctly-

og link-

[thanksjro]

Dark Cybertron Chapter 11: The Word “Logic” Doesn’t Even Mean Anything Anymore

Our issue opens up with a flashback to establish some things.


Because despite the six literal issues of prelude, and all the ham-fisted exposition we’ve gotten throughout the “Dark Cybertron” event, we still don’t have all the information we need to understand what the hell’s happening.

I have a feeling this won’t quite cut the mustard, either.

Anyway, back during the events of MTMTE #1, when Rodimus was making his call to action to his fellow Cybertronians (and by “Cybertronians” I, of course, mean “Autobots”, because prejudice is a hard habit to kick, even for the best of us) Brainstorm was doing science on Hardhead. He was doing this science to make sure that the Dead Universe hadn’t killed him without him realizing. This is a very common issue in the world of IDW2005 Transformers, considering that zombies are a part of canon, so it’s just best to be sure. Nova Prime’s lifeless body sits in the corner like the world’s worst coffee table book.

This will take some explaining, because this is Phase One related.

In Spotlight: Sideswipe, Nova Prime beefed it, except he didn’t, because his “essence” returned to the Dead Universe. This is because he was chosen by the Dead Universe to enact its will on the other, much cooler, Not-Dead Universe. In short, he’s a weird robot zombie-ghost with a save point in the Dead Universe.

Brainstorm has his corpse in his lab to make sure this bastard is true and proper dead, or that the body he left behind is at least. That, in combination with Hardhead proving to be very much alive, means that today can be counted as a win for everyone! The “Alive-People-Counter” machine proves it!

…This is why we can’t have nice things.

Brainstorm being undead does have some precedence within the narrative, given what happened in MTMTE #3.

Though I can’t help but wonder what the guy’s been doing for the last year and a half, that he didn’t notice being dead, when his soul is a large, glowing orb with physical presence. I dunno, he just seems like the sort of guy to keep up to date on that sort of thing, if only for scientific purposes.

In the present day, in the beautiful city of Iacon, everything’s gone to shit, and Whirl’s gotten hot for some reason, as billions of Ammonites fall out of the sky.

Who friggin’ drew this-

I should’ve known.

Up on the Lost Light, Ultra Magnus is breaking out the fancy swears, as a… tornado, I guess, of Ammonites hits the underside of the ship. Bumblebee wants to evacuate the friggin’ planet- which, I don’t know if you know this, would be a little difficult to do, even with a ship the size of NYC. Unfortunately, that’s not gonna fly, however, because all the stars in the sky are blue-shifting.

Wikipedia tells me that this is probably a bad thing, and Perceptor agrees, calling it “the end of everything.”

Over in Shockwave’s Lair of Villainy and Magical Bullshit, everyone’s favorite purple science gremlin has stabbed a “time drive” into his chest. Galvatron is laying dead on the floor in the foreground, but this isn’t about him. Shockwave orders Jhiaxus to activate the time drive, I guess because he doesn’t have long enough arms to do it himself. Jhiaxus warns Shockwave to be mindful, lest he lose himself in time, and then we get a return to a Roberts writing staple that we haven’t seen in quite a while.

Waxing poetic on the nature of time- this time, in a visual medium!

Awful lot of fixating on your ritualistic amputations there, Shocky-boy. I suppose this is ONE way to try to cope with a lack of control in your life.

Of course, to those on the outside of Shockwave’s brain, this doesn’t look nearly as impressive- it actually just looks like him screaming really loud at the ceiling. Bludgeon isn’t sure that this course of action is a healthy one to take, but Jhiaxus is too busy being sapiosexual to worry about that.

I-

Sure. I’m not even going to bother trying to understand this anymore.

Jhiaxus orders Monstructor to go keep the Autobots away from Shockwave.

Also, Galvatron isn’t dead. Good for him, I guess.

Over inside Metroplex, Windblade’s face seems to be stuck in the generic “I am a nice, nonthreatening female character who is also pretty” position, as Ultra Magnus tells her that the universe is ending. Chromia watches in the background as this happens, likely wondering if being relevant in modern media again is worth this bullshit.

Hearing that Bumblebee plans to take the fight to Shockwave is enough to get Metroplex back on his feet, which is good, because I don’t think we have a lot of time to convince the guy to do anything- this event ends next issue.

As Metroplex windmills his arms through swarms of Ammonites, the Lost Light lands, and Bumblebee, Megatron, and all their experts disembark. Bumblebee makes an unsolicited comment about Megatron’s body. They go to meet Soundwave, who isn’t terribly thrilled with Megatron having become all buddy-buddy with Bumblebee. Megatron mentions that the Decepticons are going to have to rethink their strategy once this is all over, with the implication being that they’re going to- gasp- work together with the Autobots.

Then Starscream shows up with Metalhawk, Skywarp, Rattrap, Waspinator, and Scoop for some fucking reason, in tow. Skywarp is going to teleport everyone into Shockwave’s Bastardization of the Concept of Science House, even though he pretty clearly isn’t feeling too well. What a guy.

Starscream and Megatron have a bit of banter that won’t set your hair on end with how awful they are to one another, Metalhawk tries to apologize for attempting to kill Bumblebee, and we really don’t have time for this shit right now. The narrative knows this, because it shifts to focus on Prowl and the Constructicons. Things are looking real rough just about everywhere, and it’s coming down to the wire, so they gotta do the thing.

The thing Prowl really doesn’t want to do.

The thing he said that he wouldn’t do again.

So anyway, they form Devastator.

As Monstructor gets ready to get punched in the face by a bunch of construction workers and a cop, everyone down below is firing off laser blasts and gearing up for a teleporting adventure. However, there’s a small problem- there are too many people to teleport! Oh no! The only solution is for Soundwave and his cassettes, Scoop, Getaway and-

Excuse me, Hook?

Hook, my dude? What the fuck do you think you’re doing? You’re supposed to be a leg right now, motherfucker, why are you here? GO HOME, HOOK.

Anyway, I’m really glad we wasted the time establishing that Soundwave and his band of merry little men were coming along on this trip, only for them to not come along after all. Love that shit.

I don’t actually love that shit. I’m sorry for lying.

With the load lightened, Skywarp teleports the rest of the gang to where they need to be, and Waspinator is immediately stabbed with a massive raging poisoning sword of doom. Bludgeon’s here to greet everyone, and Metalhawk is gonna try his damnedest to get the guy to come around to their side.

You remember when Metalhawk did things like connive, and scheme, and actually had more depth than a sidewalk puddle? Because I remember. Now he’s just... Beast Wars Silverbolt, but he’s not even attempting to be charming. I bet he wouldn’t even call his evil girlfriend “my soul’s delight.” Lame.

Bumblebee, Megatron, and friends book it for Shockwave, while Magnus and Skids get ready to kick some ass. Brainstorm isn’t feeling so hot, but this isn’t about him.

Starscream is having a minor crisis over the fact that Scoop stayed behind in a literal war zone for Starscream’s sake. I dunno that he did it specifically for Starscream, but Starscream seems pretty convinced that he did, and who am I to argue with the leader of a whole friggin’ planet?

The gang makes it to Jhiaxus’ ship, where they find-

I swear to god, if there’s not a fucking explanation for what the shit is happening right here I’m going to scream.

…So anyway, Metalhawk and Jhiaxus start beating each other up, Starscream gets bent out of shape by Jhiaxus’ trash talk, and we get an explanation for his new look.

Which, y’know, thank fucking god.

Jhiaxus has new reactive armor, which takes anything thrown at him and adapts it to his own body for personal use, which feels like some Grade-A Kids Playing Pretend bullshit, but WHATEVER.

While this is going on, Megatron and Bumblebee have run into the center of Shockwave’s Laboratory of Morally-Abhorrent Mystical Buffoonery Masquerading as the Scientific Method. Dreadwing tries to make a case for self-defense of his property, but unfortunately he doesn’t understand how property rights work, and gets blasted for his troubles. Galvatron reveals himself to be alive to Megatron, who immediately grabs the dude by the throat.

Galvatron’s feeling pretty down about having inadvertently helped end the universe, and is throwing himself a little pity party. Megatron’s not having it, however, tossing the man into the ground and revving up to fusion-cannon him to death. Bumblebee stops him, for some reason, and then starts rambling, I guess STILL trying to be Optimus Prime 2.0.

Bumblebee, you put bombs in people’s heads to make them fall into line. You don’t get to talk to Captain Warlord about moral nuance. And weren’t you also berating Metalhawk for trying this same thing not five minutes ago?

Bumblebee’s words reach Megatron, and instead of annihilating Galvatron, he offers the dude a hand up.

Then Bumblebee gets shot and dies, while Shockwave just… stares menacingly, I guess.

Cool.

The death of his very best friend in the whole wide world sends Megatron into a rage, and he punches Shockwave in the face. This doesn’t really faze him much though, as he bats Megatron across the fucking room like he’s made of papier-mâché and dreams, going on about how the universe will save Cybertron by being its power source “in an endless forever.”

Shockwave, you’re a man of science. You ought to know that “forever” as a concept, doesn’t fucking WORK scientifically. It’s nonsense. You’re nonsense, and I hate you.

Back with the Bludgeon Ass-Kicking Squad, Brainstorm’s having a bad time, while everyone else sort of awkwardly poses. Skids gets stabbed. Skids falls down. Brainstorm falls down. Ultra Magnus is concerned, but he’s too busy not being stabbed to help anyone.

Brainstorm’s in a lot of pain, and then a hand bursts out of his chest and-

GODDAMMIT JAMES.

Fucking- Team -Imus burst out of the Dead Universe from Brainstorm, who I will remind you, is undead thanks to Dead Universe lightning bullshit, making him a link between it and the much cooler Not-Dead Universe. Everyone is posing, even Cyclonus, who absolutely should think that sort of thing is beneath him, but whatever.

That’s the end of the issue. Go home.

[thejudgingtrash]

Last but not least: PJO hot takes part IV!

Alright my dudes. I think we’re still in this game for one final round. Anyway here’s wonderwall. And Part 1//Part 2//Part 3!

Percy had actually knowledge about the Greek myths. He didn’t waddle in blindly. Where did y’all even get that?

The new possible Irish myth saga will be PJO 3.0 aka Magnus Chase 2.0 aka The Kane Chronicles 1.2.

Riordan already got the names of gods of that possible saga wrong

Riordan‘s Asian characters only know bitch or bland mode, huh

Stop babying Annabeth for fucks sake. Seriously

How the fuck did Sally afford several private schools for Percy when they were poor as fuck? I guess Gabe had to have a some somewhat decent job but then again playing poker/being a gambler and stealing from your stepson ain’t a cute move

Hazel should’ve been Thanatos‘ kid. To break the classic 12 Olympian mold (yeah Hades/Pluto technically isn’t one but he’s still team major gods) and also to throw the damned Hitler/Pluto aesthetics away

Did any of the kids break their limps or get permanently disabled at some point? Or do they just... die (and mostly stay dead)? I forgot

Where can the kids at Camp Half-Blood actually sneak off to fuck? Percy is legit the only one to claim his own shit as his love bunker. The rest is just fucked I guess or has first hand traumatic pre-college experiences

”Percy cursed“. Literally why, Riordan. Let the kid say fuck. He has earned the rights to do so a long time ago

Did I mention that people lack of basic reading skills in earlier takes? Anyway. Here’s another reminder!

Tbh the gods are egotistical fucks and have killed people for the fuck of it. I don’t see Poseidon being even close to okay with Sally marrying Gabe or Paul

I still don’t understand why Frazel is a thing

Most of you don’t understand how movie production works but that’s okay. Just know that everything inside your head will never be realized and there will be drastic cuts and additions to the books (again)

The electronics not working thing doesn’t even make any goddamn sense? Hermes is the god of the Internet. Does this mean that demigods can use the web just fine but simply can’t call each other? This really came back to bite Riordan in the ass now did it? Wouldn’t it make more sense to use old means of communication once you’re trying to reach more important/godly people or electronics fail in an accute situation?

Turning everyone heteroflexible creates the image that you’re simply liking a character for the fact that they are LGBTQ and not the character itself, just saying. More representation sure, but that itself isn’t a personality trait and shouldn’t be the main focus of a character unless it’s really defining in the story line (Nico‘s arc partially for example)

Tbh, HOO should’ve been aged up mentor Percabeth protecting CHB, with the rest of the gang fucking up Greece with aged Reyna + Nico perhaps. I might post an outline on that AU someday (someone should remind me about that tho)

On one hand you have in depth discussions and people diving into the matter and talking about every nook and cranny and on the other hand people are more then just fine with stereotyping and deflecting. Whut. Okay

Why are people shipping the lie that is Jasper/Jasiper

Stop romanticizing the gods

Dark!Percy is just a cheap way for you to turn Percy into an overpowered asshole and that’s that tea

Being in a relationship isn’t a personality trait, my dear shippers

Riordan‘s timeline is off because the coke rush didn’t last that long

The wasted potential of everything past PJO makes me want to cry

Percy’s fatal flaw isn’t stupid, Riordan just didn’t flesh it out properly which is why there were no real repercussions. A fatal flaw is supposed to be hindering you and not a compliment

The fact that adult people still can’t take jokes about their favorite characters is fucking insane part II

Why the fuck did the Stolls get tossed aside? Bruh. The potential? The stigma as a Hermes kid? They trying to redeem their cabins honor? Imagine one of them as a prophecy kid in HOO (and they’d switch and swap to confuse everyone)? Yes??

Every single one of you that essentially is team poc!Percy because he had a rough upbringing deserves to get slapped. Poverty, abuse, a single parent, etc. doesn’t equate to being poc?!?!? Smells racist just saying

Turning Hazel into Nico‘s sister was cheap af

Stop romanticizing and down playing the myth aspect. Tragedy is essential and will haunt demigods. Thank you, next

Also stop babying Percy

Let’s be honest none of those fuckers make it to college

Annabeth Chase is fucking WHITE part II. She’s not biracial, she’s not ”exotic“, she’s certainly not fucking black. She’s white with a little hint of a tan. That still makes her white. Do you really want to turn her into Ariana Grande 2.0? A fucking botched orange? This is your Annabeth aesthetic? Artists get it fucking right unless you state that you portray her as [spraytan headcanon] which is still fucking cheap let’s be real. Orange Annabeth isn’t part of the kulture

Regardless of the reception of the PJO movies, I’ll never forgive you people for letting Logan Lerman aka the OG white boy™ flop. Throw Tom “lipless but okay booty“ Holland and Timothée ”I missed a few meals“ Chalamet the fuck away!

Tbh a less romanticized version of the camps would’ve been more interesting. I’m still put off by CJ (and also the fact that CHB is a summer camp), but had there been more fights and actual deaths that had happened around the camps due to training, etc. you would’ve understood immediately why demigods dipped before the age of 18. The antithetical nature of sweet summer camp and people dying left and right would’ve been amplified

Did Reyna at some point in time even have the time to breath with all of the shit that went down? Her life is simply 24/7 stressful. I get that she wanted to bounce and no longer be in a tiring and demanding position but the hunters ain’t it sis

It’s okay to admit that fanon artwork or fanfics don’t deserve the webspace they are wasting. But phrase that probably in a nicer way

PJO Calypso wasn’t annoying. HOO & TOA Calypso on the other hand...

Alex Pettyfer would’ve been a better Luke Castellan but Jake Abel did an okay job

Percy isn’t an idiot. You are one for believing so

Riordan corrected the stance that Muslims don’t shower during Ramadan (literally how in the fuck did he come up with that in the first place?!) in upcoming MC books. Can he use the same energy to rewrite HOO tho??

Luke’s portrayals in SoM and TTC were straight up trash

Historically accurate PJO would’ve been everything

Monsters can detect demigods by smell. Camo wouldn’t do jack shit ffs

Jason is still bland and making jokes/pointing that out is more than okay

Omfg accept the fact that characters can have multiple facets all good and bad. Reducing them to one specific trait makes them boring and bland. Also it stereotypes

Getting mad over the fact that Clarisse has a boyfriend is still fucking insane

Not everyone needs to be a fanfic writer or an artist, a theorist or someone that analyzes everything phrase by phrase. As long as you’re in the fandom to enjoy works & discussions and remain on the saner side of the spectrum you’re good. You’re valid. Don’t forget that.

Not wanting to stay in a fandom and merely enjoying some of the fruits/benefits as in art/fics/headcanons is also super valid

PJO Reddit, Tumblr, IG and Twitter are a cesspool of chaotic mess and straight up trash but Tumblr > Reddit >>>>>> IG >>>>>> Twitter

Tbh: just try to enjoy a decent book series. It’s all not that deep

[fictionalrambles]

Shadowhunters Fandom Story - Part Eight

Submitted by Contesse2020

Five Fave Fics:

Of Splendor in the Grass by @lecrit​

Why I love this fic: Lecrit was one of the first authors I read fan fiction from. And this one I read in the library at my University, it was packed with people because it was in the middle of exams, and students were stressing with catching up on their curriculum. I was sat in one of the comfy chairs beside a window with a beautiful view of campus covered in snow.

So, I read it in one go. And I just cried and cried, really trying not to have other students notice me. This struck a chord In me, reminding me how brutal history is and how many people around the world still struggle with something as basic as being allowed  to love. I love the authors way of driving the story forward through the protagonist inner life, there is a poetry in the way she writes. Cried some more because of the happy ending - dehydration was on my mind.

I have not dared reread it, the emotional reaction was so strong. I had to go through the fic and try and find some quotes:)

Fave Quotes: 

«Different would have to wait another life»

«Magnus kissed him, and all the poetry in the world paled in comparison. He was home. Free at last»

*

The Lonely Hearts Hotline by @unrestrainedlyexcessive​

Why I love this fic: This fic I have read more times than I care to admit - just love it.

It is actually kind of dark in the emotions and growth Alec goes through, but Fatale always highlight the difficulty with finding yourself.

And even though you reach «adulthood» you don’t need to have your shit together. Which is nice to read since I’m in my thirties and really don’t know anything, that I’m still learning who I am. Not to mention your own agency in your life - don’t let things just happen to you - be active.

The humor is exquisite, I’m laughing like a loon one minute and feeling emotional the next. And of course it is H-O-T as fuck.

The plot is original and fun, it kind of makes you cringe and think OMG Alec - love it. But also it is the nitty gritty of life.  

I really like the dialogue and that is what makes me laugh the hardest. So I will just quote some of those.

Fave Quotes: 

«Jace answers on the first ring. “Dirty Dan's Disposable Dildo Emporium. Suck 'em, fuck 'em, and chuck 'em. This is Dirty Dan speaking.”

“Ahoy, Mort’s Mortuary service. You kill ‘em, we grill ‘em.”

«Early adulthood is no man's land. You don’t have the experience to matter and no one wants to pay you to gain it (…)»

Ain`t that the truth....

*

A Tiny Spark by @magicandarchery​

Why I love this fic: This is my ultimate feel good fic <3 when ever I have read something angsty and painful, I return to this.

Magnus and Alec are in an established relationship trying to make a family, supporting each other - healthy and loving.

Absolutely loved it. We get a heartwarming glimpse into their lives with a newly «adopted» foster child, them being dads - I think I have to read it again, give me those warm and fuzzy feels, please.

Fave Quotes: 

“Just thinking,” Magnus answered, pushing a lock of Alec’s dark hair off of his forehead. Alec’s mouth twitched up at the corners as a sleepy smile played along his lips.

“About what?”

“You.”

“Care to share?” Alec’s eyes opened slowly, and Magnus’ breath caught in his chest the same way it had the first time they had met. Alec’s thumb grazed gently over the outside of Magnus’ hand, and Magnus felt a warm sense of calm spread through him as he entwined his fingers through Alec’s.

Magnus inhaled slowly, deeply. He waited for the flutters of uncertainty to fill him, but instead he felt a different kind of flutter, one of a deep, unending love. Magnus’ tongue darted out, wetting his dry lips, and he tightened his hold on Alec’s hand, centering himself.

When he spoke, Magnus’ voice was barely more than a whisper.

“Marry me?”

Magnus set his phone face down on the table as he spotted Alec and Jace a short distance away, walking toward him, dressed in dark pants and dark t-shirts with the FDNY crest on the chest. Magnus slipped his sunglasses down his nose slightly, a wicked smirk decorating his face when Alec approached the table.

“What’s that look for?” Alec asked, his brow furrowing curiously.

“Just appreciating my man in uniform,” Magnus answered innocently.

*

2C by Oumy

Why I love this fic: Did I mention how much I love a pining Alec? That combined with him being all snarky and (to a degree) self-confident is my holy grail. I love how Alec is portrayed in this, he is vulnerable and honest with his emotions. The way they needle each other is funny as hell. Two of my favorite quotes <3 the last one kicked me so hard in the feels.

Fave Quotes: 

So, there he stood, six foot three of fidgeting human, trying to figure out the right way to ask the love of his life to be his salvation.

They made it outside before Magnus got close enough to Alec’s sleeve and pulled him to a stop, and he wasn’t ready for Alec’s outburst as he turned to him and unleashed “You know what? You’re right. I’m done pretending. I’m done pretending like it’s okay that we take swipes at each other the moment something goes wrong. I’m done pretending like it doesn’t fucking kill me that every word out of my mouth is somehow the wrong one and that I can’t seem to catch a break when it comes to you. I’m done pretending like I hate you for the sake of crumbs of your attention. I’m done pretending like it doesn’t faze me when I have to play the role of the villain because for some reason, that was the only part you allowed me to play in your life. I’m done pretending like I don’t care, like my soul didn’t shrivel inside every time you mistook my reaching out to you for an attempt to fuck you over”

*

Love is a Gamble by @la-muerta​

Why I love this fic: This one is also a historic AU, since I’m a history nerd. A very angsty fic, and I’m here for it. Bring all the pain and all the feels.

I actually had to read «A Tiny Spark» right after - needed some fluff. My heart just broke for Alec and his struggle to accept his attraction to Magnus, so of course there is pining.

Also Izzy is so bad-ass in this, and I love it.

I just fell in love with all of the characters and their backstory. The plot is exciting, with action and the works - keeps you at the edge of your seat. But the best parts were Alec`s quotes - they did me in.

Fave Quotes: 

Alec shook his head, the violent movement reminding Magnus of a distressed horse. "You don't understand anything. I... There's something wrong with us. With me. You have bedded women - you have a choice in this."

"No, Alexander. There's nothing wrong with you, or with me. This is just the way we are, and the only choice I have in the matter is that I chose not to live a lie," Magnus told him firmly.

"When I confronted Aldertree, he asked me if I was a gambling man. I'm not - and never have been. And loving someone, for someone like me, is a bigger gamble than most. But there comes a point when a man's got to stop arguing with himself. I don't want to fight it anymore," Alec said, meeting Magnus' eyes squarely. "I'm not telling you this because I expect you to return my feelings. I know you don't feel that way about me. I just... never mind. I apologise if this has made things between us uncomfortable, I hope we can still be friends-"

[hopesilverheart]

Meet me under the mistletoe

(read on ao3)

Pairing: Lydia/Catarina Rated: Gen Summary: “Oh god, never say that again,” Lydia mock-gagged. “And don’t mention kissing me when during half-time, you’re going to jinx us and then we’re going to have to-”

“And here’s our next lucky couple!” The announcement caught Lydia’s attention before she could finish her sentence and she felt herself pale dramatically as her eyes landed on the kiss-cam, perfectly zoomed onto Alec and her. “What do you say, love birds, fancy a kiss underneath the mistletoe?”

Or: A tale of bad luck, mistletoe, and Catarina as a knight in shining armour.

For the @malecdiscordserver Advent Calendar

If there was one thing Lydia loved about faking a relationship with Alec for their parents’ sake, it was the amazing dates they got out of the deal.

She wasn’t sure how the Lightwoods had obtained VIP tickets for a Yankees’ game, but she wasn’t about to complain. All Alec had had to do was mention how much Lydia loved baseball and his parents had handed the tickets over like they weren’t worth hundreds of dollars each. 

So as much as she hated having to pretend to date Alec to cover his secret gay love affair and her own preference for women, she had to admit it wasn’t all bad. At least not when their parents decided to spoil them with ‘couple gifts’ in an attempt to strengthen their relationship and ensure a marriage between the two of them. 

(Lydia would never admit it, but the increasingly extravagant presents were the main reason why she was still keeping up the charade.)

“You know, I’ve never actually been to a game before,” Alec said out of nowhere as half-time rolled around. “My parents always said I wouldn’t enjoy it and Izzy backed their statement, so I figured it was one of those things I just wouldn’t like.”

“And Magnus didn’t try to change your mind about that?” Lydia’s eyebrows flew up. She didn’t know Alec’s lover as much as she wanted to, but they’d had a few conversations about the Yankees and she found it hard to believe that he hadn’t already tried to plan a baseball game date with Alec.

“He did,” Alec shrugged sheepishly. “But I think he was also convinced I wouldn’t have a nice time, because he changed his mind pretty quickly. The only reason I’m even here is because of how excited you seemed to be about this game.”

“Of course I’m excited! The Yankees are my favourite team and these are VIP seats!” Lydia exclaimed, gesturing at the field in front of them emphatically. “Sometimes, I wonder how we’re even friends.”

“Pure obligation on my part,” Alec smirked, chuckling when Lydia slapped his arm playfully. “And the need for a fake girlfriend, of course.”

“Ah yes, now I remember,” Lydia hummed in agreement. “I certainly didn’t plan on keeping this friendship up after we dropped the charade. I hope you won’t be too heartbroken; I know you’ve always been a little more attached than me.”

“Very funny, Branwell,” Alec rolled his eyes, his face scrunching up in vague disgust as his eyes landed on something in the distance. “Oh god, they made the kiss-cam holiday themed.”

Intrigued, Lydia turned her gaze toward the game screens and felt an amused smile tug at her lips as she spotted the pictures of mistletoe framing the kiss-cam. She’s never been the biggest fan of the short romantic breaks during games, but she was a fan of Christmas, and anything related to it never failed to make her smile. 

“You’re such a sap,” Alec groaned, jolting her out of her thoughts. “Seriously, all it takes is one mention of Christmas and you get the dopiest look on your face. I get that the holidays are magical, but there’s no need for that much enthusiasm.”

“On the contrary,” Lydia grinned. “That way I get rid of all my happiness during the winter season and can go right back to scaring the interns as soon as mid-January hits. It’s the best way to keep them on their toes. I make all of them believe I’ve changed and let the spirit of Christmas turn me into a bundle of joy, and then I remind them that all good moods are temporary and should never be trusted. Not in our field, at least.”

“Brutal,” Alec grimaced. “Thank god we were interns at the same time. You would have terrified the hell out of me.”

“That’s the goal, Lightwood,” Lydia pointed out, catching a glimpse of a happy couple making out a little too intensely from the corner of her eye. “Some people really need to get a room.”

“They’re just feeling very festive, I’m sure,” Alec teased, raising his eyebrows at her. “Here I thought you were all about the Christmas season. Does it really only take a kiss to change your mind? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were jealous. Do you need me to kiss it better, darling?”

“Oh god, never say that again,” Lydia mock-gagged. “And don’t mention kissing me when during half-time, you’re going to jinx us and then we’re going to have to-”

“And here’s our next lucky couple!” The announcement caught Lydia’s attention before she could finish her sentence and she felt herself pale dramatically as her eyes landed on the kiss-cam, perfectly zoomed onto Alec and her. “What do you say, love birds, fancy a kiss underneath the mistletoe?”

Lydia gulped, hoping she didn’t look half as disgusted on camera as she felt on the inside. One of the many rules she and Alec had put in place when they’d started their fake relationship was a strict no-touching policy, and kisses definitely fit into that category. They barely even held hands in front of their parents, and that was already more than enough for Lydia. 

“You fucking jinxed it,” she hissed under her breath, plastering a smile onto her face as the came stubbornly remained in place. “Now what are we going to do? Because unless your dashing beau comes to our rescue by appearing next to you and making out with you very publicly, I don’t really know how we’re supposed to get out of this with dignity.”

“Surely they move on if the pair doesn’t do anything,” Alec frowned. “What happens if the cam lands on siblings?”

“Doesn’t happen half as often as you might think,” Lydia answered. “And it does move on, but I don’t want the entire stadium to think I’m a coward.”

“Oh my god, you and your stupid pride,” Alec muttered, sending her a disbelieving glare. “I may have jinxed us, but I’m not so prideful as to ignore our perfectly crafted rules for the sake of a kiss-cam.”

“Come on now, doesn’t a kiss under the mistletoe sound romantic?” The announcer continued, earning cheers from what felt like the entire crowd. 

Before Lydia could truly panic and ruin everything with Alec, she felt a gentle tapping on her shoulder and promptly lost her breath as she turned to stare at the neighbour to her left. She wasn’t even sure when the woman had gotten there, because she definitely hadn’t been around during the first half of the game. 

Lydia would have remembered a face as beautiful as hers. Hell, she probably wouldn’t have followed a single minute of the match if she’d known there was an angel sitting right next to her. 

“Feel free to refuse my offer, but you look like a deer caught in headlights and I could never forgive myself if I let you go through with something you’re clearly not comfortable doing,” the woman started, tilting her head in Alec’s direction. “Would a kiss from me be any better?”

“Absolutely,” Lydia blurted out, blushing brightly as the woman laughed delightedly. “I mean, it would be a shame not to take advantage of the mistletoe. Isn’t there some kind of curse that lands upon those who dare ignore mistletoe when it’s all but ordering them to kiss?”

“I certainly don’t want to test that theory,” the woman answered, her gaze softening as she cupped Lydia’s cheek and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, stealing Lydia’s breath away with a single touch. 

Around them, the crowd cheered and clapped as the announcer said something - undoubtedly ridiculous - before letting the cam move onto someone else. Not that Lydia noticed when it happened, too caught up in her savior’s dark eyes to focus on anything else. 

“Wow,” she whispered. “I mean, thanks. Thank you for that, for- For saving me from kissing my very gay best friend, I guess.”

“Anytime,” the woman chuckled. “It’s always a pleasure to help out fellow queers in need. Besides, my intentions were hardly selfless. I saw a pretty girl on the kiss-cam and thought it would be a shame to miss out on such a golden opportunity, especially given how discomfited you looked at the thought of kissing that lovely young man.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure his boyfriend would forgive me,” Lydia grimaced. “And I’m glad you decided to act on your selfish intentions.”

“So am I,” the woman replied. “I’m Catarina, by the way.”

“Lydia,” the blonde breathed out.

“Any chance this seat is free?” Catarina asked, gesturing at the chair she’d already claimed for herself.

“For you? Absolutely,” Lydia answered without hesitation, subtly kicking Alec in the shins as he burst into laughter before smiling back at Catarina.

When he excused himself ten minutes after the cam incident, however, Lydia told herself she’d have to apologise later and thank him for his sudden disappearance. No matter how good a fake boyfriend he was, Lydia had to admit that having a real date - or something of the sort - by her side was far better.

[normal-thoughts-official]

It's always dark Magnus this and evil Magnus that, what about Lorenzo? What if, he finds a way to twist the alliance rune and get to Magnus - through the man he loves? Maybe no one is sure how to remove it, but there's no way it can be used negatively right? But Lorenzo's determined to ruin Magnus' happy ending, maybe by making Alec hurt him or making him watch as Alec hurts himself, just whatever it takes to break Magnus. Even better if Alec and Magnus don't know it's him doing this to them

tbh I'm not a fan of dark anything unless it's supposed to be a villain to bring some angst and whump, so i dont even think lorenzo can be compared to "dark magnus" lmao, but otherwise yeah tbh i do love me some "being helpless as the person u love is hurt" whump woops

(im not saying that all characters have to be perfect or whatever, just that, you know, if theyre gonna torture/kill ppl for the shits and giggles thats not what im into thnx)

anyway yeah tbh using Alec or Raphael/Cat/Madzie to get to Magnus is probably a great revenge plan because you know how much he cares about protecting those he loves, how sometimes it's the only thing that makes him feel useful and worthy haha, so hurting them is not only as powerful as hurting Magnus, it's also making him feel helpless and useless and ensuring he's gonna torture himself and run himself thin trying to protect them and help them recover and 🙃

like you know Magnus is just lying by their bedside, depleting all his magic if needed be just to help them heal and just. crying and feeling useless and responsible, like they wont love him anymore, like they're gonna hate him for not doing enough, even as he's doing more than he can objectively stand

and not to stray completely from ur idea or acknowledge s3 raphael, but if u use mundane!Raphael from the end of the show then you have a very, very easy target that's guaranteed to hit Magnus super hard if he's hurt. so u know 🙃 (but he's gonna have to become a daylighter by the end djdndjdnjdndkdndk sorry not sorry i hate mundane Raphael with a passion it's not a happy ending for fucks sake aaaaa but also it can be double whump you know 🙃 like he's weak and useless and alone, he got to be a mundane again after all his family was dead, taking him away from what was now supposed to be his family, his clan, the immortal squad. he's seeing that as some kind of repenting opportunity and its a punishment and hes locked away from everyone at a fucking seminar, having even more hatred for himself drilled into him because fucking catholics, man, trust me id know, and then hes hurt and he also realizes that hes helpless haha) and Magnus feels like he fails him because when his boy was gone he thought at least he'd be safe, away from the hurt and memories of Camille, but instead Magnus brought more pain on him and hes so fragile now and god he can die

or going with the alliance rune idea is good too, especially if he gets Alec to hurt himself somehow (tbh I'm imagining Alec like lashing himself with his blade and Magnus like. running to him and holding him trying to stop him and so hes kind of standing in the way and Alec manages to stop because otherwise he hurts Magnus and so he snaps out of it because i love some cliche drama and also Alec is powerful and even more so when it comes to taking care of those he loves and we stan). and at first Magnus is just terrified thinking that Alec wants to hurt himself again, then once they figure out what happened he just feels guilty because Alec used the Alliance Rune for him, did it to protect him, and its his fault that Alec got hurt, even if Magnus managed to stop it before it got truly bad. Alec went this far to protect him and this is what he got in return; he brings nothing but pain for the people he loves

and we all know how Alec feels about losing control, especially of himself, of his body, of his will, so you know :)) he put Alec through his worst nightmare and for what? so that he could get this mess back? fuck.

and while Alec is physically fine, nothing a healing rune cant solve, he does hate feeling like hes not in control of himself, hates being at the mercy of others, and hates that he was used to hurt Magnus, one of the people he had sworn to protect. so they're just both desperately trying to comfort each other and hurting and 🙃

anyway they kill lorenzo probably and it has a happy ending but you know after lots of Amgst™

[thecorteztwins]

Fabian Cortez: A Masterlist of Marvel’s Worst Man or Mutant

@sammysdewysensitiveeyes  Heya! Sorry this took a bit. I have a LOT of Fabian comics to go through. I want to rec the ones really worth reading in terms of content, whether quantity (a lot of him) or quality (he’s important, scummy, or funny in some way) I also wanted to describe what the actual content inside them is, so you can decide for yourself if it’s up your alley or not for what you’re looking for. So under the cut I’m going to list you every piece of Fabian Cortez content worth having! Complete with pictures! Try not to drool, ladies! 

I’ll start with his 616 issues. X-Men (second series) #1: Fabian arrives! First thing he does is use the fact that his sister was nigh-fatally shot defending him to MANIPULATE MAGNETO WITH HER APPARENT DEATH while conveniently not mentioning he can heal her and she’ll be fine. Also introduces the term “flatscan” hooray! X-Men (second series) #2: Magneto shows up to save the Acolytes from the bullshit they got themselves into. Scolds Fabian on the way home after. Quality bits include that when Magneto arrives to collect his stupid followers, Fabian grins RIGHT AT THE GODDAMN CAMERA like he fucking KNOWS. Also, THIS HAPPENS

FUCKING FABIAN I SWEAR TO GOD HE’S SO GROSS also this is when she calls him Magneto’s “pet boy” which I am never ever letting go of X-Men (second series) #3: Fabian betrays Magneto and the other Acolytes, leaving them to die! So what’s the humorous content? Well, they’re spying on a napping Xavier, and Fabian is all “What are you doing, old man?” pondering-like, and Magneto goes “Sleeping?” and idk I find that fucking hilarious. Magneto and Fabian hold hands while Fabian tells him “Let me take you to your quarters” RAWR

X-Factor #92: Fabian’s first interaction with Pietro! He’s pulled together this massive fucking Acolytes attack on a government facility, exposed their secret Sentinel project to X-Factor, put an alien parasite in Val Cooper (which she vomits up in this issue) to control her...ALL TO TALK TO PIETRO!!! Yeah. Also he makes a girl kneel between her knees and creepy-touches her hair, then PULLS it while snarling about how Pietro will be his. So. Yeah. The Uncanny X-Men #300: This happens

Moira also whispers to Neophyte (a teenage boy Acolyte) about how she’s seen how he looks at Fabian when no one is watching. She actually is referring to how she can tell Neo knows Fabian is lying about everything, but still. Neo also quotes some shit about how “Lord Cortez was with our savior a the moment of his death. Magnus has entrusted him” that you just fucking KNOW Fabian is the one who said this you KNOW he’s been preaching this shit to his new Acolytes. Meanwhile, the Gamesmaster TROLLS THE HELL OUT OF FABIAN by letting him talk about how “lol yeah I totes killed Magneto” when Gamesmaster knew that Neo was listening. When Fabian calls Gamesmaster out on this “You set me up!”), Gamesmaster is like “lol yup trololol” and his reason is honestly just that it was funny (”Anything to keep the game interesting”) Fabian tries to run away during a fight because of course he does. THEN WE GET THE FAMOUS NAKED TANTRUM!!!

BECAUSE THIS WAS NECESSARY Fun fact, the naked tantrum epilogue is done by a different artist than the rest of the issue. The person who did most of the issue draws the men with heavy black body hair. The person who did the naked epilogue does not. So Fabian goes from having very hairy arms to totally smooth, suggesting he just got a full-body wax during the time between the tantrum and the main story. So there’s that. Also he breaks a window during said tantrum because THAT’S such a smart idea; nothing like glass shards in your urethra! Also jumps on a man (still naked) while he screams about being royalty. God, I love him. The Uncanny X-Men #304: Opens with the Acolytes dogpiling on Fabian because Exodus has revealed he’s full of shit and the one who killed Magneto. He is STILL trying to give them orders---specifically, the female ones! Oh, Fabian! Exodus, rather than killing him, teleports him away, claiming that Magneto doesn’t want him executed but to suffer slowly “a victim of someone else’s legacy” This was probably meant to foreshadow that Fabian had the Legacy virus, since that plot was just starting at this time, but that never happened so it just comes off like Magneto, being an egomaniac himself, knew that just fading into obscurity would be the perfect punishment for someone like Fabs. Avengers #368 (Bloodties Part I of V): Starts with Fabian holding little Luna above the flames of Genosha and monologuing to her. SHE’S A BABY, FABIAN. SHE CAN’T UNDERSTAND YOU. WHY DO YOU LOVE YOUR OWN VOICE SO MUCH. It is kinda cute (if you ignore the whole “city on fire” thing) that she’s wrapped up in his cloak and appears to be smiling and snuggling him while he rambles. Maybe she thinks he’s telling her a story, idk. All I know is Luna is the only person in this whole damn series who has ever liked Fabian at all and that’s because she’s a literal toddler (infant?) who doesn’t know what’s going on. Issue also ends with Fabian and Luna. He and his forces have murdered the entire government of Genosha and now he’s proclaimed himself the new Chief in State of the nation. He addresses the people from a broadcast inside the state citadel, with a worried-looking Luna on his knee, surrounded by the corpses of the former government. I personally don’t think he looks good on TV. Not good for humorous content, but is worth it if you also want to see him actually seeming scary; it’s gonna be the last time he does it. X-Men (second series) #26: Fabian holds a very confused baby Luna as he gives a big dumb ranty speech to the Genoshans. Also shows up to flash thigh at Pietro like this:

Avengers #369 (Bloodties Part V of V): Exodus takes baby Luna from Fabian and kills him effortlessly. Nothing funny here, but if you enjoy the idea of him dying in a sewer, it may be for you! The Uncanny X-Men #307 (Bloodties Part IV of V): Pietro, Jean, Crystal, and Wanda search the Genoshan sewers for Fabian and Luna. There’s a lot of very unintentional humor here. Pietro mistakes HIS OWN WIFE for Fabian in the dark after HEARING HER VOICE, Fabian compliments Pietro on HOW WELL HE SCREAMS FABIAN’S NAME, Fabian teling Wanda and Pietro not to fight over him, Fabian ranting about how his life is in danger AS IF HE EXPECTS ANY OF THEM TO CARE LOL. Also at this point Fabs is having a nervous breakdown in sheer pants-pissing fear of Exodus, so he is REALLY rough-looking. Very unkempt, very unclean, raggedy cape, and the only time we see his hair out of the ponytail. Don’t know if you’re into the whole “grungy crazy-eyes” look but if you are, this is the issue for you! The 1996-1997 Magneto miniseries is full of hilarious Fabian goodness! It also does not actually have Magneto in it. It has Joseph, Magneto’s younger clone, believed by everyone at the time to be a de-aged Magneto with amnesia. It’s four issues and THE ART IS HORRIBLE and they forget Fabian’s ponytail through the whole thing except one issue...but the Fabian fuckery is AMAZING! It’s where he lies to a bird, it’s where he returns from the death no explanation and comes in LEVITATING AND SPARKLING with also no explanation how he’s doing that, where he tells a woman that snow reminds him of himself because he’s SO PURE and then tries to put her in his would-be harem two issues later and SHE BEATS HIM UNCONSCIOUS AND NO ONE QUESTIONS HER WHEN THEY WALK IN ON IT, where they lock him up and he escapes by somehow making A BIG FUCKING HOLE IN THE WALL WHAT THE FUCK and Joseph is just like “eh he’ll die out there” and apparently that’s just fine with everyone (LOOOL), where three Acolytes fight over who gets to kill him....honestly it just goes on and on, it’s great. A+ Fabian material, you must read! Fabian also tries to tutor Joseph on how to be Magneto and all I can think of is the bit in “Anastasia” where Vlad and Dmitri teach Anya about being a princess. Also he tricks “Magneto” into kissing a woman and it makes Exodus cry. So there’s that too. Quicksilver #1: IN JUST  ONE SINGLE ISSUE Fabian manages to get a MASSIVE AQUARIUM comically dumped on him because he didn't listen to a woman, literally RAINS on poor Bova and Luna who have NO IDEA why a random wet fuckboy is falling on them from the ceiling screaming, SHOOTS A HORSE FURRY ON ACCIDENT, and then gets scolded like the idiot he is by Exodus. I’m just...in awe. Quicksilver #4-6: MAXIMUS AND FABIAN TEAM UP!! Heroes for Hire & Quicksilver Annual 1998: Pietro is finally ready to lead the Acolytes like Fabian was always pressuring him to!...and Fabian goes “lol nope” when Pietro is like hey go fight this dangerous battle. FABIAN. Exodus and Pietro both think he’s a coward lol. Fabs just takes anyone with him who will go and tries to split XD Magneto Rex #1: Magneto tracks down Fabian to make him serve him again. Involves Fabian saying “I guess I don’t have any choice” while kneeling in front of Magneto and a closeup of Magneto’s hand on his head. So yes. And Magneto even brought along a NEW ponytail douche with him, Pipeline, just to show Fabian he’s not special. X-men (second series) #96: A shirtless Magneto sits up in bed after having a dream about Xavier and yells “Fabian Cortez! Attend me!” Fabian comes running into his room. Also Magneto punches him in the face. Uncanny X-Men #379: At this point everyone knows Fabian is a big fat traitor so he doesn’t even try to hide it, he just openly talks treason to the other Acolytes. Magneto catches him and tosses him into a pillar, he ain’t even surprised. Magneto Dark Seduction #1: Pietro walks in on Fabian sitting in Magneto’s chair when no one is around and yells at him. Magneto Dark Seduction #2: He’s in it but not worth noting. If you want to read the Dark Seduction series as a whole though, you probably should read this just for context’s sake. He does send a goddamn email as “Trojan Horse” though. Seriously. Trojan Horse. FABIAN ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Magneto Dark Seduction #3: Just a couple panels, but Fabian getting a fuck ton of guns pointed at him while he plays innocent!

Magneto: Dark Seduction #4: Fabian stares at a woman’s ass while negotiating with her for his release. He never notices the floating head of Sinister behind him because of said staring. He complains about the means of escape she gives him not being good enough, and then is killed by Magneto. So the last two things he does in his life is stare at a woman’s butt and be an entitled brat. HE DIED AS HE LIVED! X-Men ‘92 is indeed great! The thing to remember is, there are TWO X-Men ‘92 series. The first series is part of the 2015 Secret Wars and is four issues. The next series, which spanned 10 issues from 2016 to 2017, is not. The one with Fabian content is the second one. However, he is NOT in every issue, and not every issue he’s in will have Quality Fabness. X-Men ‘92 #2: His first appearance in these pages, in which he immediately shows us YUP, IT’S HIM by proclaiming himself THE SUPREME MUTANT:

X-Men ‘92 #6: Features Fabian undercover as a roadie in Lila Cheney’s band. This is where he fools all the X-Men here as security by him just wearing a goddamn baseball cap. Also features THIS FUCKING FACE:

X-Men ‘92 #7: The first page doesn’t have Fabian, but it does have someone talking about him! He’s one of The Toadies, the band that Lila was playing with, and a real-life grunge band that got to cameo in these issues! He refers to Fabian as “that weird roadie with the ponytail” which is priceless enough, but also says that the band “chased him to the parking lot but lost him” That’s right, Fabian was CHASED THROUGH A CONCERT PARKING LOT BY A GRUNGE BAND! And it was off-screen! This is both FANTASTIC because it happened and a HUGE LOSS that we didn’t get to see it. Later in the issue, Fabian himself does show up being HIMSELF and we get this:

Because we needed that angle of him, I guess. Thanks artists. And then we get him...being himself. X-Men ‘92 #9: It only has one Fabian panel but OH MY GOD WHAT A PANEL

X-Men ‘92 #10: Includes these wonderful moments/faces!

That time Fabian Cortez just kind of randomly photobomber the Summers-Grey-Xavier family photo Seriously, Charles is basically Scott’s father, and to a degree Jean’s as well, Cassandra Nova is his twin sister, and Cable is the son of Scott and Jean’s clone and then there’s Fabian who has no connection to any of these people who isn’t even on the same SIDE yet has just RUN IN THERE AND INTO THE FUCKING CENTER NO LESS FABIAN

Now let’s go one more, X-Men Forever! I don’t consider it great Fabian content, there’s really no comedy beyond how much Claremont clearly hates this guy, but given his presence in it, I’ll list his appearances and let you decide if it’s something you’d want to have a look at. Like X-Men ‘92, X-Men Forever takes place in an alternate timeline. It branches off right after X-Men #3, when Fabian murdered Magneto. Also like X-Men ‘92, it’s the second series to be called this. The first one is by Fabian Niceiza and there is no Cortez content. The one you want is the X-men Forever written by Chris Claremont and his beautiful, beautiful hate-on for Fabian. X-Men Forever #1: Fabian fights the X-Men. Not anything really noteworthy as funny or scummy or specifically “Fabian” here. Some of them debate killing him once they knock him out, as the X-Men all kinda become especially “fuck this guy” in X-Men Forever towards Fabian even though he’s done MUCH less shit in this universe. Why? Claremont hates him, that’s why. But yeah probably not worth it if you’re looking for a “Fabian being Fabian” fix.  Is worth it is you always wanted his flat ass in khakis though!

Also the Phoenix knocks him on his ass when he manhandles Jean

And he does what he does best!

X-Men Forever #5: A shackled Fabian is dumped into the middle of nowhere into the hands of a mysterious group. Just one page, nothing funny or shitty here, not worth it for what you’re looking for I don’t think. X- Men Forever #19:  We get to see what happened to Fabian! He’s in the clutches of the Consortium, an anti-mutant organization, and he’s a tortured emaciated wreck. I don’t even like seeing him like this, man. I love him getting what he deserves but oh man this is rough. There is one kinda funny bit where, when they discover him, he asks if they came to mock him. I think this is funny just because it speaks to his egocentric mindset even in this state; yes, Fabian, they busted into a super dangerous top-secret facility just to make fun of YOU! X-Men Forever #20: . He can’t even stand up, he has to be carried out of there. He gets shot during his own rescue, but lives (for a bit) through it, long enough to give the X-Men some info about who’s behind this operation. This is not funny Fabian content at all, so you might not want it. X-Men Forever #21: Fabian passed away during the night after his rescue. Claremont is sure to state in the yellow boxes that “Nobody misses him. Nobody mourns.” We do get to see his dead body and Jean does a sort of psychic autopsy in which she extracts further info from his deceased brain. Again, this isn’t funny Fabian content, it’s not even really Fabian content at all, would not recommend. We come back to the fun with “X-Men: The Animated Series” from the 1990s! Fabian appears in “Sanctuary: Part !”, “Sanctuary:Part II”, and “The Fifth Horseman.” All of them are pretty great! And gave us MY FAVORITE SCREENSHOTS OF ALL FLIPPIN’ TIME! xD THE HOLOGRAM HAREM!

[thatgaylittlefrog]

Is it too late to request all the TAZ asks

Not at all, my dear anon! (Side note: you should listen to The Adventure Zone if you haven’t already!)

PCs:

Remmy: Love is a motivator - who do you want to make proud?

I’d love to make my family proud. I’m not always on the best terms with them, and I just can’t help but always feel like a disappointment. I know in theory that I make them proud, but I just want to know that they’re proud of me, you know?

Nadiya: Be proud - talk about something you’re good at.

I’d like to think I’m a pretty great singer. I’ve been in the top choirs at my schools for years, and have a good ear for music and can learn it with relative ease. Now if only I could transfer that talent to other instruments..

Irene: You are brave - describe a time you persisted despite your fears.

Just recently I was searching out for spooky places on campus with two dear friends of mine. Now, I’ve had a fear of the dark for as long as I can remember. Don’t get me wrong, it’s gotten better since I was younger. However, it’s started to resurface a bit more lately due to my fascination with horror games. Despite this, I found myself leading them around dark buildings. I felt brave, and had a load of fun with them.

Kardala: You are divine - describe a time you felt free.

Honestly, I’ve felt really free since I’ve started going to college. There’s something about living on your own that really forces you to be independent. Now that I have my own room on campus, I feel even more free. I can choose who I spend my time with and what I spend my time doing. It’s devine, and while I miss my family and friends from home, I just feel like I can finally be who I want to be.

Merle: Even if we forget, we are important - name at least one way you matter.

I’m capable of doing good for so many people. I have rather big plans of being a therapist or a social worker. I’ll do my best to help those in need of it.

Magnus: Don’t always take the big hit - what is your definition of strength?

Truly strong people use what they were given to help others.

Taako: You’re worth more than you think - how do you defy expectations?

I’m much more intelligent, insightful, and friendly than my introverted demeanor lets on.

NPCs:

Lucretia: We have calcium in our bones, iron in our veins - what was a time you thought you couldn’t go on, but kept pushing?

Oh heck, I’m about to get a bit vulnerable here. Well, high school was a whole lot of that. I went through a lot of really shitty friendships and just really didn’t feel wanted. Anxiety and depression reared their ugly heads, and have never truly left. There were some points where I just felt so alone that I didn’t want to be alive. I never attempted anything, but I was also so afraid to get help for a long time. Thankfully I got help, and while my depression and anxiety are still with me, I’m equipped to handle it now.

Lup: You are so loved and love in return - gush about at least one sibling, friend, or partner.

I’m going to go ahead and gush about my little sister. We’ve always butted heads with each other, much to my parents dismay. She’s a hard headed little girl with very little filter. She gets into a lot of trouble for it and isn’t always well liked, but I love her and appreciate her so much. She came to my dorm and helped me organize and place all of the new supplies brought for me. She also is the person in my immediate family that’s most accepting of the LGBT community, which is such a tremendous relief. And honestly? I miss her a lot, and I really hope she knows how much I love her. She’s my baby sister, and I won’t let anyone hurt her.

Barry: Home isn’t just a place - recall a joyful reunion.

My first reunion with my pets after leaving for college was joyous. I had gone a month without seeing them, which has been the longest I’ve been away from them. When I first entered the house, the dachshunds were barking at me like I was a stranger. It took them a moment to realize who I was, but when they finally did, loud, excited barking followed. All four of my dogs were equally enthusiastic to see me. My cats even reacted, meowing loudly at me and demanding to be pet. The pets were so excited to see me again that there was a brief moment of peace in which my cats actually tolerated being around our big dog. It wasn’t necessarily a fear of mine, but I’m still glad I wasn’t forgotten.

Davenport: Become the stars you gaze upon - how have you been defined by a journey (literal or metaphorical)?

I’d describe my realization of my bisexuality as a journey. I’ve come a long way from when I was first questioning it, but I still have a way to go. Still, I’m much more comfortable with this aspect of myself. I still need to face coming out to my family though, so we’ll have to see how well that goes.

Angus: Adoration might be hidden - describe a time you felt loved or appreciated.

Last month I went back for a birthday party of a friend of mine. It was at the theatre I used to work at, so I got to see a lot of old coworkers of mine. Plus, going into the theatre to be greeted by a huge group of people happy to see me again was just incredibly reassuring.

Kravitz: It’s never too late - what makes you feel alive?

Honestly, being outside. This can be hard to do when it’s so damn cold out, but even now I just find myself invigorated by the sunlight and fresh air. I feel like I’m at my best when I’m outside. I’m pretty much a plant.

Julia: No battle is forever - what is your happy ending?

Oh heck man. I suppose in a perfect world, I’d like to have a secure job and settle down with someone I love. I’d love to have kids if possible, but if not definitely some dogs. Dogs are a must in any happy ending of mine.

Johann: You will not be erased - what do you want to be remembered for?

I want to be remembered for the good I did. I don’t have any religious beliefs, so I really just want to be a good person for the sake of being a good person. There’s so much pain and suffering in the world. I want to do my best to help combat it, even if it’s just in small ways.

Arcs:

Commitment: Don’t give up - what are you committed to?

I’m really committed to getting my education. A year ago going to a four year college didn’t seem to be on the table, yet here we are. I don’t want to waste this opportunity.

Here There Be Gerblins: Embrace nostalgia - what was your first encounter with a loved one?

Ohh this is a doozy. I have a best friend from home. This friend has been in my life since the fourth grade. Now, I’ve always been a bit of a socially awkward little nerd, so I was going around my computer class asking everyone if they played Wizards 101. She was the only one to say yes. What started out as a person I played Wizards 101 with grew into my oldest friend. I miss her dearly, and wish I could see her more than I do now.

Moonlighting: Tomorrow is a new day - when have you begun a brighter chapter of life?

Honestly, college. I went through a pretty bad breakup at the end of my senior year that took me awhile to get over. College was a fresh start, a clean slate, a chance to forge myself. I’m super involved here, getting good grades, and have made some amazing friends here. So yeah, I’d say things are definitely looking up.

Murder on the Rockport Limited: Not everything is clear - how do you feel about mysteries?

I’m open to them! I like the challenge of trying to solve them, so long as they aren’t spoiled for me. Then it can just be frustrating.

Petals to the Metal: Sometimes we need to let loose - when have you done something you shouldn’t have because it made you happy?

Over Thanksgiving Break. It was my first time really sneaking out late. Now, if it’s all the same with you, I’d rather not go into any more detail.

Crystal Kingdom: There is more to existence than we could ever imagine - discuss.

Humans can’t even begin to fathom just how small we are in the grand scheme of things. We haven’t even fully explored the Amazon Rainforest or the Ocean. Beyond our planet is the vast universe, which we haven’t even begun to explore. It’s just so exciting because in the expanse of space there is most likely life elsewhere. We have no idea what else is out there, and at this rate, we never may.

The Eleventh Hour: There is relief in letting go - write about it.

So… That aforementioned breakup. I had dated this guy for most of my high school experience. We broke up because he lost feelings for me and he didn’t want to date anyone in college. Nine days later he’s dating a new girl. I was hurt. I was angry. For the longest time I thought he cheated on me, and just questioned what was wrong with me. I’ve gotten the chance to talk to him since then, and he didn’t cheat on me. I forgave him for what happened, and I’m doing my best to be on good terms with him again.

The Suffering Game: This too shall pass - how are you stronger for your struggles?

High school sucked. I’ve talked about this in a previous question. I survived it though. And because I survived it, I’ve learned how to cope and combat it. I’ve grown from it. It still really fucking sucked though.

Reunion Tour: Everything can change in seconds - what is your definition of trust?

I suppose trust is allowing yourself to be vulnerable with a person. Letting down your walls and opening up to somebody else. It is so exhausting when you don’t have anybody you can trust. You always need to have your defenses up and never can really be real with people.

The Stolen Century: Bonds have power - who do you consider family, and why?

Well, there’s obviously my family, but they’re far away from me. I’ve found my own family here. I have a support system here, and some good friends who I consider family.  (the found family trope is the best trope.)

Story and Song: You’re going to fight and you’re going to win - how or why?

Because there’s still horrible inequality and injustice in this world. Because there are people around the world who struggle to survive day to day. Because it’s my responsibility as a caring human being to fight against inequality.

Goofy:

Tom: “That one was called… Wizard Shout” - tell us about a time you hilariously failed at hiding something.

I ordered twenty dollars worth of stickers. Most of the stickers were McElroy based, and pretty.. Eccentric. For whatever reason, my computer had my neighbor’s address saved in it. So, my stickers went to my neighbors how

Lenny: “You may remember, you subscribed to the cylinder of the month club” - what is something you are well-known (or notorious) for?

Among my family, my crazy liberal ideals. Among my friends, my horrible jokes consisting of both memes and puns.

Troth: “Go home and pray for sunrise” - when have you said something badass?

The only things I can think of are the times I’ve basically told customers to fuck off in my customer service dialect. It usually goes something like “Well, I’m very sorry you felt that way. I hope you can have a good day after this” Customer service is so passive aggressive. It’s excruciating at the time, but it makes for some excellent stories after.

Tres Horny Boys: “Nobody ever say that out loud ever again please” - what is your worst nickname?

Probably Gabbus, although my friend called me Babby today so that takes the cake.

Team Sweet Flips: “Me and Carey and a robot ghost with a gun arm, fuck yeah” - if you and your friends had a spin-off show, what would it be called?

I have two groups. One is Tales and Tights, while the other is Two and a Half Men.

Reapers: “ARE YOU AFRAID?” / “Merle, it’s me, Pan” / “Also! Greg Grimauldis-” - do you have a flair for the dramatic?

I’ll sometimes get into bits with friends where we just go off citing quotes from some shared pop culture interest. I also have had a few good one liners. One of my friends has been keeping track of funny things our group says. He’s an angel and I appreciate him greatly.

Magic Brian: “Haello haello welcoeme to my caeve” - do you have any unique speech patterns?

Ooohhh dear. Yeah. Apparently I have a horrendous Minnesotan accent, so I over pronounce my os. This habit intensifies when I’m made fun of for it. (You have not lived until you’ve been cussed out by someone with a heavy Minnesotan accent)

Jenkins: “…aaaand he misses by a country mile” - are you any good at planning?

I try my best at it. But damn, I’m indecisive. To help combat this I’ve been keeping a planner.

Marvey: “Well, let’s see if I can make a mark in that book on my– in my– hey, fuck you!” - are you any good at comebacks?

I’d like to think I’m a pretty witty person. As of late it seems that most of my comebacks are positive in nature, and lift my friends up. I can still sass with the best of them, though.

Garfield: “Do you like deals?” - describe a time you expertly negotiated.

I was able to convince my parents to let me stay at my significant other’s house in high school, which felt like quite the feat at the time.

Lunar Interlude: “I hand Leon the token” - how do you make your friends laugh?

With my excessive use of stupid jokes, memes, and puns. *finger guns*

Fantasy WWE: “I Morco [guitar sting]” - describe your wrestlesona.

(NOTE: it is past 1 and I am weary) I’d be the gingerbread man. Enough said.

Camp Goodfriend: “You guys know you earned a teamwork penalty for that one, right?” - do you work well with others?

I pull my own weight and keep group morale up when I’m working with others. I don’t like having other people carry me, and would prefer to carry my own weight.

Neverwinter High: “Magnus, it’s another day of high school! Taako and Merle, you immediately realize something horrible has gone wrong” - how observant are you relative to others? Has this led to any goofy situations?

I’m good at reading emotions. I can usually tell when someone isn’t feeling well and will ask them about it in a safe space. However, I cannot for the life of me interpret when someone is being flirty or friendly with me. Just recently, this led to me thinking of a coffee outing with someone I was interested in as a date. These hopes were shattered when she told me about her new partner. So yeah… It’s hard navigating this stuff.

Tomb of Horrors: “I expected you to catch a fucking fish in the fish minigame!” - when has something gone ridiculously off the rails? Were you the derailer, the voice of reason, or a bystander?

As the Mom Friend, I try to be the voice of reason in most scenarios. Sometimes though, it is out of my hands, and all I can do is sit back and watch the disaster unfold. 

[hiddlesgirl]

SH 321: Alliance

The main thing that comes to mind when I think about this episode is that it feels rushed; most of the scenes are very short and we move through events very quickly. That isn’t to say that I didn’t enjoy it or that I didn’t understand why it feels that way; they were trying to resolve plot lines that that were supposed to carry over 10 whole episodes in 40 minutes. With that in mind they did a fantastic job, it is just disappointing that we could see all the potential that a fourth season could have had.

The first scene between Clary and Jace is very sweet, they are both concerned about Magnus and Alec but also you can see that Clary is haunted by the things she did while she was with Jonathan. While she was in her right mind she did things that she wouldn’t normally do and she abandoned the family she had created, she is scared that she can’t come back from that and it has irreversibly changed everything. Jace reassures her that she will be able to move past it, just like he did after the owl; he understands the feeling of guilt and responsibility in the aftermath.

Alec is at Magnus’ apartment desperately trying to find a way to bring Magnus back, it is heartbreaking to see him this desperate; he just got Magnus back and fulfilled his wish of being engaged only for them to be torn apart again. He knows that he cannot live without Magnus, he doesn’t want to, and he will stop at nothing to get him back.

Maryse is concerned about Alec, she knows how single minded he is and she doesn’t want him to neglect himself. While I understand her telling Alec to mourn I don’t agree with her saying that, especially while Alec is in an emotional state; Alec is not just going to let go of Magnus, especially not so soon after.

We find out that Magnus can’t come back because his magic is the only thing keeping the rift closed and if he were to leave Edom the rift would reopen. I am glad they cleared this up early on because I have to say up until that point I was a bit confused as to why he couldn’t just come home after closing the rift, but it makes sense that the rift caused by the Morningstar blade could not be healed only patched over.

Magnus is occupying his father’s throne in Edom and he is playing with his engagement ring, it makes me melt that he takes comfort in touching and twisting his only physical connection to Alec. Lilith shows up and I love their back and forth, their dance around each other; it was a fantastic scene from Harry and Anna.

I hate that she plays on his insecurities by saying that if his friends really cared about him they wouldn’t have let him leave; Magnus has always doubted his importance to other people, he is always the one giving them everything he can and not always getting the same in return. His feelings of self worth also come into play with this and Harry is brilliant because his expression in that moment is soul wrenching; you can see Magnus almost doubting his decision and the strength of their feelings for him and then him shaking it off because he knows that if there had been any other way then they wouldn’t have let him leave.

The little scuffle between them and Magnus’ ‘get out of my house’ was awesome, in this entire scene you could see so much potential for a dark Magnus; that he would become closed off after being in Edom for an extended period of time. Dark Magnus and Alec pulling him back from that would have been an amazing storyline to watch, I know that it could have seemed a bit repetitive because that was basically what happened with Owl Jace and Clary, then Dark Clary and Jace; but I think that Harry would have just been so awesome that it wouldn’t have felt anywhere near repetitive.

Jordan’s wake was a moving scene, now you know that I am not really a fan of Jordan’s and I’m not going to get into all that but I do believe that if he had lived than he may have been able to grow into a better person, mostly because Maia believes that. I am glad that Maia felt she got the closure she needed in order to move on and I am sorry that she and Simon lost a friend. It was a very lovely scene.

I am so happy that Maia is going to see her parents; you can see that she is really moving forward with her life and trying to get closure on things in her past that are weighing her down. I absolutely adore the line ‘Life is short. You can’t be afraid to open your heart to the people you care about’.

I absolutely adore everything about Sizzy’s first kiss; it is so sweet that Izzy was thinking of calling Simon and he just appears. You could see throughout the entirety of Season 3 how much they were bonding and forming that closer relationship and I am so happy that we got to see the fruition of that. I not gonna lie, I did cry a little and happy squeal a lot.

I was very surprised when Izzy burst into flames, and apparently this was supposed to be the original ending for 320. I know that we can’t know exactly how that would have played out because 320 would have been slightly different in order to get to this point but I honestly prefer 320 how it is. I know that if it had been done as originally thought it would have been great because Season 3 has been incredible, but I honestly don’t think it would have had the same emotional impact as 320 does now, ending with Magnus leaving. Those last moments with Alec breaking down absolutely broke my heart, the entire last scene was phenomenal and I don’t think that Izzy bursting into flame could have beaten that. Also, Magnus leaving might not have had such an impact if the episode had carried on for a few more scenes afterwards. So, although the Sizzy kiss is an amazing scene I don’t think it would have been a better cliff hanger than Magnus leaving for Edom.

The scene where Alec finds chameleon Lorenzo is absolutely hilarious, his confusion and the fact that Lorenzo scratched ‘help’ into the glass; I also like to think that after Catarina restored him and he left she laughed herself sick (or maybe that’s just me).

I love that we got to see a little more of Helen, and she is now proudly showing her ears, I wish we could have seen more of her and Aline and the development of their relationship. We find out that when Izzy was hit by the shrapnel her body was infused with Heavenly Fire, another big potential plotline, it’s pretty obvious that this was supposed to be the second plotline for a fourth season. I just wanna cry at the potential Season 4 should have had.

It is horrible to see Izzy has to try to come to terms with the fact that she is going to die, not only that but that touching the person she has feelings for could not only accelerate her condition but could kill him too, Emeraude was brilliant in this scene. You know that she is not going to tell them the truth of her condition, she is a very independent person but also she doesn’t want to worry everyone or take the focus away from getting Magnus back first. Right now her love for her family and friends is driving her decision; she doesn’t want them to worry about her, but also she knows that they need to get Magnus back for Alec’s sake. She loves Alec more than anyone in the world and she knows how much he loves Magnus, she knows that he cannot live without him; and that if she tells them she is dying the immediate focus would shift to healing her and she doesn’t want that. She is putting Alec, and rescuing Magnus, first so that if she does die than she can in the knowledge that Alec will have Magnus.

I love the reactions to the knowledge that Simon and Izzy had been kissing, Alec seems to accept it good willingly after a moment of confusion; Clary is beyond thrilled; and Jace is very confused and Dom’s ‘what the fuck’ face is hilarious.

Upon hearing that Lilith is amassing an army to attack Magnus Alec’s desperation goes up a notch, he cannot let Magnus face her alone and he needs to be by his side no matter what happens; this is pretty much Alec saying that if Magnus is going to die at the hands of Lilith than Alec is going to die alongside him (sobs). Then when he asks Simon to turn him because only those with demon blood can survive Hell I was shocked but also not, it’s difficult to explain. I think I was shocked that he went to that option so quickly, especially when we know how much being a Shadowhunter means to him, but at the same time I know that he would do literally anything for Magnus, and to be with Magnus. I love these two so much, actual soul mates.

The others obviously vehemently object to this, they know that becoming a vampire is a huge life changing decision and that Alec is only considering it because they don’t know of any other way to get to Magnus right now. So in this moment everyone realises just how far Alec is willing to go in order to be with Magnus again, so this in turn kick starts their own sense of desperation.

Izzy had offered to go alone because the Heavenly Fire would protect her, but was shot down; but as soon as everyone else leaves you know that she is going to find a way to Edom alone and indeed she does, asking Meliorn for help. She is now even more desperate to get Magnus back, not just because he is her friend and she loves him but because she knows that Alec would destroy himself in order to be with Magnus and she will do anything she can to prevent that. Also, I think it may be because she wants to do something good with her condition before she dies; she seems to have readily accepted her fate and seems to have made the decision to instead of becoming a ticking time bomb to take her destiny into her own hands. She would rather die rescuing Magnus than risk bursting into flame at any given moment, possibly killing people she cares about.

I think it’s hilarious that they lured Lorenzo to the Institute with a Council meeting and then played into his ego to get him to help; although he is an interesting character and his interactions with Malec are great to watch I just can’t like him. I am happy to finally see the alliance rune but disappointed that we won’t get to see Alec and Magnus use it together. I burst out laughing at Meliorn’s line ‘You’ll learn my true powers next time you take your lover to bed’.

I really liked getting to see Alec use magic (waves at all the AU warlock Alec fics) and it warmed my heart that when his emotions were effecting his magic that putting his ring back on and fiddling with it calmed him down. I really liked that both Magnus and Alec use the ring to ground them, using their only physical connection to each other as an anchor.

I love the scene between Clary and Simon, I have loved their friendship right from the first episode and I am so happy that even after everything they have been through their connection is stronger than ever. I also think that this scene may have been a bit of a love letter, or touchstone, for the fans; they are both saying that despite everything they have gone through they wouldn’t trade the Shadow World for anything and that is exactly how the fans feel about the show. No matter how much heartbreak, anger and hurt were caused we wouldn’t trade Shadowhunters for anything.

Every single moment between Jace and Meliorn in this episode has been pure gold, it is just hilarious just see Jace so flustered because he cannot lie and how much Meliorn enjoys it. I just love when Meliorn asks Jace how attractive he thinks he is, I adore this interaction so much. I think it also adds some needed laughter to the episode which is otherwise very emotionally based.

Luke has become a Shadowhunter again after Praetor Scott made him take the serum, this was not a surprise because we all saw the behind the scenes pictures of Isaiah wearing runes they tried to throw us off with ‘he just wanted to try them on before we wrapped’ but we all knew better. I am a little surprised that they didn’t have any bigger plans for the serum though, but may be they might have if we had been given a season 4, who knows.

Luke is not going to be their spy, he is not devious by nature and he is too honest to be a double agent. However, he will look out for the Downworld from inside the community because that is just who he is; he would not let the Clave make decisions that would harm the Downworld community because he knows what it is like to live as one and would not let his friends be negatively affected by the Clave if he can prevent it. The Praetor would have done much better if they had approached him as friends and allies instead of blackmailing him, because at the end of the day their goals are very similar, the well being of the Downworld being the main cause for them both.

My heart bursts when Malec reunite, you can see how surprised and relieved Magnus is that Alec is here; he never thought he would see Alec again. He thought that he would live his immortal life trapped in Edom, alone, while Alec grew old on Earth. Now he knows that, that doesn’t have to be their fate but also that Alec came all the way into Edom for him, to be with him, is overwhelming.

I was crying a little at this scene because you could just see their love for each other and their determination to be together, Alec is completely unwilling to ever be separated from Magnus again. He knows how painful it is to be without him and he refuses to let that be their future.

I love the Magnus and Biscuit reunion, we finally get that hug between them that we were robbed of in 3x13. I love their relationship so much; there are so many amazing friendships in this show.

Izzy, Jace and Meliorn find Lilith’s castle; I really love the conversation between Jace and Izzy about Simon, I am so happy that we get a real insight into how Jace feels about Simon. That he thinks he is a good man, that is a strong person and that Jace actually admires him. Even though it’s in a humorous setting I really like that we got to see this part of Jace and his true feelings about Simon, especially considering how much animosity there was when they met.

I know that this review is much shorter than my usual ones but I think I covered everything I wanted to, it’s because so many of the scenes were barely a minute or two long that you can’t really get those in depth discussions because there isn’t much to go on. I also know that I didn’t talk about the Seelie Queen and Jonathan at all but that it because I didn’t really find those scenes particularly interesting (that might not be the right word), I didn’t really have anything to say about them. Sorry.

That said, I did enjoy this episode; a bit disappointed with the rushed feel but that is understandable given the circumstances. There were some great little moments between different pairs of characters which were wonderful and I think the cast and crew did a great job in starting to wrap up loose ends so that we could have an amazing last episode that wasn’t consumed in closing up plot lines.

[nd43taags]

I had forgotten I would always love you (Part 11)

Also on AO3 | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

They need the rest, but no one can sleep.

Taako stared into the crackling fire, watching the tongues of flame dance and cast twisted shadows onto the trees around them.  Out of the corner of his eye he saw Merle, slumped against the arm of a tree-stump chair with his head in his hand, trying to will himself to sleep.  Not far from him is the Red Robe, floating silently in the air, ethereal and intangible, and most likely incapable of sleep.

Taako can’t sleep either, for other reasons.

Magnus.

His new body is slumped next to Taako, trying fruitlessly to reattach his right arm.  His face is featureless, but Taako can almost feel the furrow of his brow as he tried again and again to wedge the ball of the shoulder into the socket.  Eventually he dropped the arm, and hung his head.

Taako reached a tentative hand over.

“Please… please don’t,” Magnus said before he could make contact.

“Why?” Taako asked, trying to keep his voice level.  “I want to hold you, Magnus.”

“I don’t… I don’t want you to…” his voice trails off as his blank mask of a face turned to look at Taako.  “This isn’t me.”

“You’re Magnus,” Taako whispered.  “You’re more than just a body.”

“But… Taako I don’t feel anything,” Magnus replied.  “I don’t feel the fire or the ground underneath us.  I don’t feel cold, or hungry, or sleepy.  If you touch me I’ll… I won’t feel anything.”

Taako tried his best to hold back the tears.  Magnus couldn’t cry, so he wouldn’t either.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t feel anything?” Taako whispered.  “Anything at all?”

Magnus knew he had upset Taako solely from the look on his face, but his words cut straight through Magnus’ wooden heart.

Maybe he did still feel something.

“Taako I don’t know what to say,” Magnus admitted.

“I do,” Taako muttered, taking a shuddering breath before covering his face in his hands.  “I’m so sorry I did this to you!”

“Taako no!” Magnus cried.  “Those liches are the ones who did this.”

“It’s my fault you’re in this body,” Taako sobbed, tears no longer staying in check.  “I told you we had to think about the long game, and then you took all those sacrifices, and you took that bad luck without even thinking, and if that hadn’t happened-”

Magnus’ wooden hand brushed against Taako’s, hesitant and featherlight, but Taako shuddered at the sudden sensation.

“Taako I don’t regret any of my sacrifices,” Magnus whispered.

But Taako knew that wasn’t true.  If anything, Magnus wasn’t even aware of what he had actually given up, but Taako had pieced it together hours before.

The memory of Julia’s killer was gone from Magnus’ mind.  But the pain of her loss was still there, still fresh.  Taako knew that because he had seen it all over Magnus’ face.  And there, in the darkness of the Astral Plane, had been a moment of hesitation.  A moment where Magnus had looked at him as if… he didn’t want to come back to the Prime Material Plane.  As if he had resigned himself to death.

“Did you want to die?”

“Taako…” Magnus whispered.

“Do you miss her?” Taako cried, wiping tears from his eyes.  “Is that it?  Were you hoping you’d see her again when you…”  He can’t finish the thought.

The two of them had not had time to speak since the battle.  Since Edward had sent Magnus’ soul hurtling towards the Astral Plane.  Since Taako had dived into the darkness after him, arms outstretched.

“Taako I miss her every day,” Magnus said, “I miss her so much it hurts.  And when… when I thought I was going to die, it was a comfort, knowing I’d finally get to see her again.  But when I saw your hand reaching out for me… With this ring…  my ring on it…”

Taako took his left hand into his right, twisting the unfinished ring over and over his skin.  Magnus put his wooden fingers over them, and this time Taako didn’t flinch.

“I can’t leave you to carry the weight of my loss,” Magnus whispered.  “I’ve done that for her and… I wouldn’t wish that pain on anyone.”

“What are we gonna do, Mango?” Taako laughed through tears.  “I was dumb enough to think this was almost over.”

“I think it is,” Magnus said quietly.  “One way or another.”

“We’ll figure something out,” Taako whispered, putting a hand to Magnus’ empty face and pulling it down to press their foreheads together.  “I won’t leave you like this.  No… I won’t leave you.”

Magnus didn’t know what Taako thought he could possibly do, but he knew there was a lot to his words.  Magnus had stood by him when he gave up his beauty (a farce as far as Magnus was concerned because Taako would always be beautiful), now Taako was returning the favor.  

Too bad this couldn’t be fixed with a minor illusion.

“Taako… tell me again about what you want to do when this is over?”

“Oh, you mean the house?” Taako said.

“Yeah,” Magnus said with a nod, spreading his wooden arm to let Taako lean against him, “Tell me all about it.”

“We’ll build it miles away from any cities,” Taako said, curling up against the rigid mannequin body.  It wasn’t the same. “And you’ll insist on doing the whole thing yourself, even though we’ve made enough money to afford a contracter.  I’ll pick out the furniture like the little domestic housewife I am, and when we’re all settled in we’ll head out to Neverwinter and pick up every stray dog we see.”

Magnus laughed for what felt like the first time in a lifetime, and Taako wished with all of his heart that he could still feel the sensation of it booming inside of Magnus’ chest.  “All of them?”

“Well at first I’ll say ‘Just one, Magnus,’ but then one will become two,” Taako sighed, pressing his cheek against the wood, wishing to hear a heartbeat he knew wasn’t there.  “And two will become three, and I just can’t say no to you and all their sad little faces.”

“Wouldn’t it drive you crazy, having that many animals?” Magnus asked, curling his arm around Taako as tight has he could.

“Oh yeah, but you’re so good with them,” dismissed Taako with a wave of his hand.  “And Angus will come to help walk them all the time.”

“I…” Magnus hesitated, wooden fingers skirting over Taako’s arm.  “I always thought we’d have Angus live with us.”

“You want to adopt the kid?” Taako asked softly.

“Well he doesn’t have any living relatives,” Magnus replied.

“I think for his sake we’d need a good stable two parent household to raise him up right,” Taako said, sitting up slowly and looking into Magnus’ uncarved face.  “Last I checked, you didn’t actually ask me.”

“I wanted to finish the ring first,” Magnus muttered, and it sounded pained.  He lifted his one remaining hand, closing it slowly into a fist.  “Won’t be able to do that with… these hands.”

Taako took Magnus’ hand delicately, resting his ringed hand on top.

“Magnus… I don’t want a ring,” Taako choked out.  “If we can get you back, that’s all I want.”

“I’m sorry,” Magnus whispered, and he pressed his wooden face to Taako’s forehead in a pantomime kiss that made Taako want to sob even more.  “I like… the symbol of the rings.  It represents... eternal love.  My love.”

“Fine then,” Taako said, raising his hand.  He extended two fingers and waved them daintily as if stroking the air, and as he curled his hand around to lay his palm up a silvery ring had fallen into it.  Magnus was speechless as Taako took the ring and slipped it onto his wooden finger, and then tapped it with his nail.  The ring shrank until it was snug against Magnus’ hand.  “There, it’s official now.”

“Taako…”

“I’ll always love you,” Taako said, “I’ll love you until the day I die.”

Magnus’ face was unreadable, and as Taako tried to get something from the way the blank slate looked at him, the Red Robe floated into view.

“Forgive me,” it hissed, hovering a few feet away, “I know… I know it won’t mean anything coming from me but… I’m so happy you two found each other.”

“Yeah,” Taako said, feeling self conscious.  “Thanks, I guess.”

“I always hoped…” the Red Robe paused, as if unsure what to say.  “What I mean is, everyone dreams of having a love like you two seem to have.  A love that defines you.”

At that, Taako didn’t reply, and the Red Robe drifted off.

“A love that defines us,” Taako whispered, and Magnus’ nodded.

Things had never looked so bleak, but perhaps it was true.  Perhaps their love would get them through.

At the very least, they could hope.

“I’m not sure how much longer I can stand this,” Magnus muttered, burying his face in his hands.

“You have to,” Taako said, putting a hand on his shoulder.  “We can’t go get those Relics back now, no matter how fucked up they are.  I already lost Lup to that bullshit, I’m not losing you too.”

“I can’t live quietly knowing I played a part in destroying this place,” Magnus sighed.

“Magnus,” Taako took Magnus’ face in his hands.  “Honey.  We did what we had to do.  We should be thinking about moving on.”

“To what?” Magnus muttered.

“To… to us,” Taako replied.  “The Relics have been out in the world for a over a year, and we’re still living on this ship.  Haven’t we earned the right to have normal lives?”

“I’m not sure we have,” Magnus sighed.  “I just… do people like us get to have normal lives?  Do we deserve that?”

“Yes!” Taako cried.  “I didn’t travel 100 years in a spaceship and lose everything I’ve ever known and loved to be miserable.”

“The idea of getting to be happy, after what I’ve done,” Magnus muttered.  “Knowing I put something out in the world that can ruin it without us even knowing… It honestly makes me feel sick inside.”

Taako stiffened at that, nervously worrying the ring Magnus had given him what felt like a lifetime ago.

“Magnus… do you still love me?”

Magnus looked up, and his eyes looked so far away.

“Of… of course I do, Taako,” Magnus said, getting up.  “I told you, I’ll always-”

“I just… we finally got what we wanted,” Taako whispered, “But we’re not...  I’m not… I’m not happy anymore.  We aren’t happy anymore together.”

At that Magnus enveloped him into his arms, pressing his face into the curve of Taako’s neck.

“I need to move on Maggie,” Taako said into Magnus’ shoulder.  “I need to live my life and… Maybe it’s selfish of me to think this way, but the only people left who matter to me on this fucking planet are here.  And I can’t let myself get held back by regrets.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, and Taako felt himself tearing up.  “I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.”

“I know,” said Taako, and it felt like something warm was leaving him.  But that wasn’t true at all.

He was leaving Magnus.

When they finally managed to pull apart, Taako fished for something in the pocket of his robe.

“Listen… I don’t think… I don’t want to think this is the end,”  Taako said through tears.  “I trust you when you say you love me.  I can’t live like this anymore but…” He produced a silver ring.  “I’ll always love you too.  And I know you like sappy shit like this.”

“Taako I-”

“No hold on,” Taako said, holding up his hand, “I meant to give this to you ages ago but I was too wrapped up in other things.  It’s not the same now, but I still want to give you something.”

He slowly pulled the wooden ring off his own finger, and put it with the silver one in his palm.  With a quiet mutter of elvish, he closed his fingers over the rings and passed his free hand over them.

When he opened them, the two rings were now interlocked, two perfect circles entwined like the links of a chain.

“Here,” Taako said, holding them out.  “If… if you ever think you’ll be able to be happy again, I’ll take them apart, and we can give this another shot.”

Magnus laughed softly, taking the two rings.  “I do love you,” he sighed.

“I know,” Taako said with a sad smile.  “I love you too.  But this...”

“I understand.  Maybe someday,” Magnus said, putting the gift into his pocket.

Taako didn’t come to Magnus’ cabin that night, or any night after it.

But neither of them remembered that a week later.

[thanksjro]

Dark Cybertron Chapter 2: Going from Zero to Antichrist Real Quick

Bumblebee and his camp buddies are trying to figure out what to do with the Titan who just popped out of the ground like a prairie dog, as the sky looks like a Lisa Frank notebook thanks to the portal to the Dead Universe. It’s honestly very nice, we should should get more pretty apocalypses like this.

Bumblebee starts throwing out orders at everyone, much to Slag’s chagrin. When Slag brings up the point that they probably can’t do much of anything to a guy roughly a hundred times bigger than they are, Bumblebee tells him to shut up and do as he’s told.

Yeah, I had about the same reaction, Slag.

So the Dinobots do their thing. Swoop, who I think is the only guy here who can fly, goes up to see what the Titan’s doing. It’s not much, other than looking really upset. Oh no, what if he’s afraid of heights? Poor guy.

Even if the Titan isn’t moving, the mere presence of the thing is jamming signals, which is kind of an issue. Ironhide’s ready to shoot it in the foot, and Arcee will help, because she’s a team player now. Bumblebee has a minor crisis over whether this is the same Titan that told Starscream he was a prophesied son of a gun, but Prowl doesn’t seem to think that it is.

Prowl, who has been suffering from short-term memory lapses over the last several months or so because a bug-man was controlling his mind.

Yeah, let’s maybe take his opinion on the matter with a grain of salt, even if he is right.

Over at the Lost Light, Orion Pax is visiting Brainstorm’s workshop, where everyone’s favorite science man is admitting to having studied the Dead Universe’s effects on the living and interviewing people who had been to the area.

Man, I sure hope that guy signed a waiver, otherwise Brainstorm’s going to be in a spot of trouble.

Then we get a quick rundown of what the Dead Universe is: an omnicognizant parallel universe that functions on fundamental principles that differ from our own and wants you to die. So, obviously not a place you would want to go to. Still, we gotta, because that’s where the plot is the Dead Universe is gonna vore Cybertron if we don’t.

Brainstorm agrees to cook something up to make the trip through the Gorlam Prime portal easier.

Back on Cybertron, the Titan looms in the distance as we check in on an oddly pristine-looking Iacon. Rattrap tells Starscream to come out of the closet, because the Titan still hasn’t moved and doesn’t seem like it’s going to anytime soon. Starscream does come out, but it’s with his arms full of weapons of Autobot design that he appropriated from the ruins of Kimia, because he doesn’t trust that Titan to not start some shit. Rattrap suggests that they maybe get a second opinion before they start murdering people for standing in a barren field.

Back on the Lost Light, there’s a little shindig going down at Swerve’s, everyone staring down the table where Optimus, Rodimus, and Ultra Magnus are seated. Swerve takes the opportunity to do what everyone else is probably really wanting to, and snaps a few photos of them for his scrapbook. As soon as he’s done, we get to the Emotions portion of our issue.

Rodimus is letting himself be vulnerable in front of the man he idolizes, and I think that’s very brave of him.

Nobody’s feeling super great about the situation they’ve been presented with, but there isn’t a lot that can be done about it now. Just gotta work with what they got. Rodimus asks Optimus how he feels about Starscream being elected leader of Cybertron.

But I thought that freedom was the right of all sentient beings? You know, like the freedom of choice in our government officials, even if they aren’t the best option we could possibly have, because at least they’re better than the guy who had bombs planted in people’s heads for crowd control purposes? Are you saying that it only counted when the concept of freedom could be manipulated so you could go kick Megatron’s ass, and that actual freedom of choice doesn’t jive with your personal sensibilities as much as you’d like everyone to think it does? No wonder you’re going to try to overthrow the entire Earth’s government system to get humanity annexed into Cybertron’s bullshit in a few years’ time.

But perhaps this Starscream thing is actually the work of Megatron! What will Orion do then?

…I mean, do I even have to say it?

ORION, THAT’S GAY.

And I thought we’d already figured out what to do with Megatron back in “Chaos Theory”, where you spent three issues waffling on the subject until the man himself told you to execute him, because even he was sick of your crisis of self. The only reason you didn’t get to act on it was because Megatron disappeared after Vector Sigma blew up and then you fucked off into space without even bothering to check if he was actually dead.

But enough of Orion promising to kill/kiss Megatron, it’s time to see what Brainstorm’s cooked up. It’s not much, but to be fair, he’s only had a few hours to pull something together- our ship’s genius has made a few forcefield generators, using nothing more than some forcefield generators and juice he squeezed out of a bug. Science truly is amazing.

And I bet Trailcutter hates this invention too, for multiple reasons this time!

Cyclonus, who is looking especially purple today, agrees to join the excursion to the Dead Universe, even though it’s pretty clear he really, really doesn’t want to. Hardhead seems in better spirits than our resident space jet, though maybe that’s just bravado macho-man bullshitting on his part.

With our team put together, it’s time to jump out of the spaceship and into a place that quite literally wants them dead. But first Rodimus has a little chat with Ultra Magnus about his feelings. A lot of sharing this issue.

Magnus doesn’t feel fit to be in charge while Rodimus goes off to save the day and maybe die, because he doesn’t have that special something that makes a leader a leader. Charisma? The ability to think on your feet? The ability to see people as people and not numbers? Not having people know you’re actually a much smaller man running around in an Ultra Magnus suit? Whatever it is, Rodimus seems to think that it’s trumped by a mysterious something in his hand, and that Magnus will do just fine.

While Team -Imus goes into the murder reality, Magnus and the Lost Light will be going off to find Jhiaxus, because they need something to do while our protagonist and his absentee father go on their own adventure.

Back on Cybertron, Starscream’s visiting prison, and wants to talk to a very good boy without the guards overhearing. Jazz makes a very vague threat about what will happen if any harm comes to the prisoner, then steps away.

Let’s talk about how to sell toys for a second.

This issue of “Dark Cybertron” had a cover featuring Scoop, the very good boy I’ve mentioned before, because it was paired off with his Generations toy. We know from reading RID that Scoop is the leader of a group called the Construction Patrol, and he likes to help simply for the sake of helping. Sounds like a nice, if generic, character. How is this issue going to introduce people to him? Will he bust out of prison to save the day? Fight evil through heroic sacrifice? Do anything besides talk?

No, he’s going to tell Starscream he’s a herald of death that was foretold in the robot bible.

Yeah, that’ll move some fucking product!

This isn’t even the most batshit thing Scoop’s going to pull in this event, but it is what they decided to put in the issue that “features” him.

Over with Shockwave, we’re treated to some renewed friendships, as Nova Prime and Galvatron reveal that they don’t hate each other after all, but have a mutual respect based in subjugating those weaker than them.

I’m guessing this is a contrast to their previous relationship dynamic in older publications, but I’m not going back to comb through the likes of Heart of Darkness to check, because it really doesn’t matter.

There’s a bit of a snag in Shockwave’s plan to bring Galvatron and Nova Prime back to the Not-Dead Universe, as the space bridge in the Titan burnt up when it got there. Gee, that sucks. I guess all those “Prelude” issues about getting the Titan from Gorlam Prime were sort of a waste of time, weren’t they? Love it when I’m told I wasted my time reading motherfucking Ramondelli issues.

Speaking of Ramondelli, it’s Dead Universe time.

Sigh. Hello, public domain pictures of space on the overlay layer option in Photoshop. It’s nice to see you.

No, it isn’t. I lied.

I’m sorry, public domain pictures of space on the overlay layer option in Photoshop, this isn’t your fault.

So we’re here in the Dead Universe, and it’s looking pretty wild and crazy, though the characters are likely thinking this for a completely different reason than we are as readers. It turns out, the Dead Universe… is dying.

…MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM THAT’S SOME GOOD WRITIN’ RIGHT THERE

Also, Cyclonus has disappeared, not that anyone actually gives a shit, because they’re too busy dealing with the giant space leeches that just showed the hell up. Dang, why’s that happening?

…That only happens as a form of population control, or if the young in question are sickly and have a low chance of survival, not just because the mama rabbit got a bit peckish between lunch and dinner, you stupid fucking robot.

Half of this writing team won awards a couple years after this was published, I want you to remember that.

They fight the cyberwraiths for a bit, things look like they’re getting dicey, then suddenly they fuck off as Cyclonus shows up, probably fresh off the end of a goddamned panic attack because he’s back in the Dead Universe. Then he proceeds to vomit up some black energon. That’s a fun thing, glad you made me look at that.

Rodimus is concerned that one of their team members has got the Hollywood Tuberculosis cough, but Cyclonus doesn’t want his fucking pity. The fellas decide it’s time to get a move on, seeing as they’ve been here a grand total of 20 seconds and been attacked, so they need to get this over with ASAP.

As Team -Imus flies off in a ship I don’t remember them bringing along, someone decides that they’re going to stick their finger in that puddle of vomit.

Nightbeat you fucking idiot, there aren’t any sinks in the Dead Universe! Now your hand’s gonna be all gross for the entirety of this event! He’s not even analyzing it, it’s just on his hand! Why is Nightbeat having zero concept of personal hygiene a running theme in the things I read? Fuck!

You may be wondering what Nightbeat’s doing in the Dead Universe, or even where he’s been for a good chunk of IDW. We’ve seen him in flashbacks from before the war, but not during or after, least not within anything I’ve covered. So, what’s be been up to?

Fuck you, you’ll have to wait for a later issue to be told what Phase One bullshit you’ll have had to read to understand why this dumbass is here.

Back on Cybertron, Prowl is telling Bumblebee that he sucks because he’s not acting. I’m not exactly sure what he expects Bumblebee to do about the Titan who’s just standing there. It’s not like issuing a loitering ticket is going to do anything. Then the Decepticons attack them, among their ranks being the scariest fucking Ravage I’ve ever seen.

Why do you look like that? Rojo’s supposed to have the cutesy style on this team, why the fuck did he turn the kitty cat into one of the terror dogs from Ghostbusters? 

Anyway, that’s the end of the issue. Sure hope you’re invested enough in trying to figure out what the fuck Nightbeat’s deal is to snag Robots in Disguise #23.