#also had to change the hot water tank because that one didn't work with the lot51 mod

[kit-ta]

i am so in love with this kitchen (minus the glitchy ceiling i had to photoshop in the last pic...)

[talaok]

A gentleman

This is my gift to @lucyeyelesbarrow for the Pedrostories Secret Santa event💖

Pairing: bfd!Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: Your boyfriend is a good guy, but he's not so good at sex, but thankfully, his dad makes up for it

Warnings: smut| Cheating, kinda exhibitionism, oral sex (f receiving), a bit of fingering, unprotected p in v sex, creampie, no use of y/n just overuse of pet names, no use of Joel either, just Mr. Miller and sir (so naturally we've got a bit of a sir kink).

a/n: babe you said slut by Taylor and i ran with it. also, this didn't turn out as good as I wanted, but nevertheless, I hope you'll like it. And huge thanks to @decembermidnight cause this idea is basically (completely) hers so give her some love or smth.

Jason was a good guy,

he was such a good guy, always so kind, always gentle and respectful... everything any girl could ever dream of, right?

wrong

He should have been, he really should have been the perfect man, but he wasn't.

He wasn't a man, he was just a boy

A really nice, sweet, cute boy that had just one, little, big problem... he fucked like one.

He fucked like he was scared of breaking you, actually, no he didn't fuck at all... he made love, which would have been fine... if it wasn't for the fact that he wasn't any good at it.

Every time you had sex he lasted no more than a few minutes (on his good days) and it was always just the same, always missionary, always slow and breathy and just not... right.

And it's not like you hadn't tried, god knows how many times you had, you tried changing positions, switching up his thrusting method, or even asking him to go down on you, but the outcome was always the same... you were left unsatisfied, every. single time.

You had even gone as far as starting to wonder if perhaps the problem was you, but then again every time you were alone everything worked just fine.

And as perfect as he was, there's only as much a girl can take.

You needed sex, the real kind, you needed to get fucked good, by a man who didn't need instructions, by someone who wasn't afraid to take what he wanted, by a man, you needed a real man.

And perhaps you'd always had one in mind.

You were in the kitchen, the fridge open, the cool air hardening your nipples, just a tiny white tank top on you, no bra, only a pair of panties.

You came down here to get a drink, but your focus had shifted to your fingers beneath your panties, drawing fast circles on your clit.

And yes it was pathetic, masturbating in a kitchen that wasn't even yours, but your body was desperate for that orgasm your boyfriend had deprived you of not even 10 minutes ago.

You were caging your bottom lip between your teeth, trying not to make a sound, but as all your emphasis went there, you must have stopped listening for anyone coming and missed the footsteps stomping down the stairs.

"I thought you'd be aslee-" 

his eyes widened as he finally took you in

"shit I'm sorry darlin'-" he apologized, his eyes diverting a moment too late, only after they had taken you in completely, only after they had taken a good glimpse of your tits, and of the hand in your underwear.

To say you were red was an understatement.

He was there, the man you were just thinking of (although you had tried to refrain) was there, right in front of you, in all his broadness and glory, looking every bit of hot as ever,

him, your boyfriend's dad, 

Mr. Miller had just caught you masturbating while standing in his kitchen.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't-I was just-I needed water and I-"

You finally rushed your trembling fingers out of your panties, your chest heaving and your voice breaking.

"No need to apologize sweetheart" he shook his head, his gaze finding yours "'s alright"

And although you were half naked, his eyes remained on yours.

Because that's how he was, that's how Mr. Miller was,

He was a gentleman,

In a world of boys, he was a gentleman.

Just like that time he caught you just out of the shower, just as every time he wouldn't let you open your own door, not on his watch, just as every dinner, every expense, every single thing, was his treat, and he didn't need a thank you, he did it because that's simply how he did things, how he'd been taught to treat women.

You watched each other for a moment, you panicking, him as calm as ever, and only after a good minute, did you finally feel brave enough to say something,

"I-I think I'll go-"

He frowned, "didn't you come here to get a drink?"

You swallowed, realizing your hands were empty "I-I did, you're right"

You opened the fridge again, and to the demise of your heart, he stepped closer, watching you like a hawk from above, and stealing all the air out of your lungs.

"What were you doing sweetheart?"

You swore you could have started crying right there and then.

Did he really just ask that?

Why the fuck would he ever ask that?

"I-I wasn't- I wasn't doing anything, Mr. Miller"

He tried to hide the smirk crawling on his lips, but a shadow of it still appeared

"now we both know that ain't true, darlin'" he smiled, as you took a bottle of water and closed the fridge to try and keep your brain occupied by something else other than this fucking man.

You took a deep breath, looking up at him.

Your bottom lip was between your front teeth, and with his thumb, he freed it, his hand lingering on your chin.

"there's no need to be shy" he murmured, his voice as sweet as honey "I just wanna help"

And as always, as always his touch melted you completely, like ice in the August sun.

"M-Mr. Miller-"

"yes, doll?"

only hearing him call you that made your breathing hitch.

"I..."

"just tell me," his voice was as low and hot as it could be "I won't judge"

And then, for some reason, you did, You told him the truth.

maybe he had put a spell on you, or maybe, just maybe, you would have done anything this man asked for.

"I was- I was touching myself"

But of course he knew, you could see it all over his face as he nodded, his eyes now a shade darker.

"and why's that?" he asked, stepping an inch closer,

you took a step back to get out of his penetrating aura, just to realize he had confined you between the table and his body with nowhere else to go.

"my son's just upstairs" he continued, his eyes scrutinizing every inch of your face "Couldn't he have helped with that?" 

You gulped as his fingers gently moved some hair out of your face, making you shiver altogether

"I know if I were him, I would want nothing more than to do just that" he murmured "I would want to pleasure you in any way I could" and then, as if he'd gotten back to himself, to the respectful gentleman you'd always known, he dropped his hand, "so why were you touching yourself, sweetheart?"

What were you supposed to say?

That his son couldn't do it?

That in 3 months of dating, he'd made you come a total of 0 times?

Now that's not really a conversation you wanted to have with his father, was it?

"I was just- I- I don't know Mr. Miller" you lied

But he saw right through you, his head shaking in disapproval

"but you do know, doll" he urged "There's gotta be a reason"

And then it clicked.

He knew. Somehow he fucking knew.

"I-I-" you stuttered "It's just that Jason... he- he can't-"

but you couldn't end that sentence, how could you ever?

So of course, he did it for you.

"He can't make you come"

And the darkness was back again, the gentleman long gone.

"ain't that right?"

You could only offer a shy nod

"a pretty thing like you..." he murmured, his breath tickling your skin as he leaned closer, "and he's not taking care of you..." he tsked "Now that's a shame"

his hands were on your waist, holding you in place.

"I thought I'd taught him how to treat a woman... guess I was wrong" he shook his head "I mean look at you," he murmured "he should be making you come until you can't take it anymore"

"Mr. Miller-" you whimpered

"yes sugar"

"please" you begged, not exactly knowing for what

"Please what?" he asked, his right hand stroking your sides "you want somethin' from me?"

"I-I" you stumbled over your own words, not knowing how to get them out "Could you- could you please do it?"

He smirked properly at that, his left hand lowering down your belly

"do what?"

"you know" you breathed "You know what"

He inhaled your scent, his eyes still focused on yours "Say it" he ordered "Say it and I'll do it"

And what could you have done, if not exactly what he'd just said

"Please Mr. Miller" you pleaded "please make me come"

His fingers were beneath your panties before you could get another word out.

"Ah-" you gasped

"shhh" he shushed you, "Don't worry darlin'" he murmured "I'm here, I'll take care of you" he said, his big hand cupping your whole pussy

"look at that" he grinned, his mouth ghosting yours "she's already wet f'me”

A gasp fled your throat again as his finger seeped between your folds, gathering your slick and teasing your hole just to travel up to your clit

“Mmm” he hummed “so wet doll” he shook his head, smiling devilishly “are you always like this for me?” he asked, “For your boyfriend’s father?“

And although the fact that you could feel his hard cock against your thighs made that taunt more than a little hypocritical, you still couldn’t help but feel a little ashamed.

“Answer me” he urged, his lips now grazing yours

“Yes” you confessed, your voice nothing more than a whisper “I-I am Mr. Miller”

He groaned at that

He knew it was wrong, that everything about this was wrong, but he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about this, if he said hearing you call him Mr. Miller with that sweet voice of yours every day didn't make his cock half hard, if he said that from the moment he met you, he hadn't been jealous of his own son.

"here's how this is gonna work sweetheart" he breathed, his fingers gripping the edge of your panties "I'm gonna taste you now... because fuck me, but I need to-" he explained, slowly lowering your underwear "And you..." he smiled, your panties suddenly on the ground "you're gonna be a good girl and stay quiet" 

His lips lowered from right next to your ear, onto your pulse point

"Can you do that f'me?"

A little squeak left your mouth, and a deep chuckle rumbled from his chest

"Can you be a good girl f'me, doll?"

You didn't trust yourself with words, so all you did was nod

"good" he hummed, his lips on your clavicle "Now get on the table"

And so you did, you hopped on the table, and he kneeled before you, his hands on your thighs.

"Spread your legs sugar" he said, having you obliging immediately

A soft appreciative sound erupted from his throat.

"prettiest pussy I've ever seen" he purred, leaning closer to it "on the prettiest girl I've ever seen"

Your belly was moving up and down in sync with your erratic breathing, but he didn't seem to care, his only focus was between your legs.

he looked as if he did this every day, as if fucking his son's girlfriend was an everyday thing.

He started off slow, his lips meeting the inside of your thighs, then your mound, then your lips, and then, just when you felt a moment away from bursting, his tongue came to play, as he licked between your folds without care, groaning in pleasure at the taste of you.

"Delicious" he hummed "You're fucking delicious doll" he looked at you, continuing to do so even when his hands gripped your thighs, and his talented muscle teased your hole, making you gasp and forcing your right hand to his hair.

"Does he do this?" he couldn't stop himself from asking "Does he eat this pretty pussy sweetheart?"

"n-no" you managed to whisper as he continued his work, now savoring you entirely while deliberately avoiding your clit.

"Now that's just wrong," he said, his eyes unfocusing from yours and lowering to your heat for a moment "look at that" he murmured, watching mesmerized as your juices drenched his mouth "I could eat this pussy for every meal"

And that was it, he was done with teasing all of a sudden, his lips were on your clit, sucking it deliciously as fingers you didn't even notice having gone from your leg thrust into you with ease.

"O-Oh s-shit" you moaned, although trying not to do so.

"quiet sweetheart" he shushed you, going back to his work in a moment

His fingers were now curling upwards, finding that spot that made you see stars like he knew your body better than yourself, or certainly, better than his son.

His tongue was alternating between lapping at your clit and sucking on it, and he expected you to not make a sound? now that was just impossible.

"oh my god" you gripped his hair, his fingers speeding up "o-oh my god-Mr. Miller- i-it feels so good"

"I know it does" he answered "I can feel it, sweetheart"

And then he was back at work, and as you watched enchanted how perfect he looked between your thighs, his hair a mess, his eyes so dark they didn't even seem brown anymore... you felt it, you felt the orgasm approach faster than it ever had, embarrassingly fast one could say, but then again, it certainly wasn't your fault, Mr. Miller knew what he was doing.

"I-I think-" you cried

"I know" he didn't need you to finish "Let go f'me, doll"

And so you did, you bit your lip and threw your head back as an orgasm powerful enough to kill you took over your body, leaving you a whimpering, wobbly mess.

"fucking delicious" he groaned, selfishly licking your core once again before he was back up to you, watching as you breathed heavily into the air.

"felt good?"

"yeah," you smiled mindlessly "felt amazing Mr. Miller"

"good enough to want another one?"

You didn't need to think twice

"yes" you breathed, one of your arms going between his neck as you begged him, while the other found the bulge in his boxers "please" you swallowed "Please fuck me"

"you want my cock?" he asked, already freeing it from his briefs "is that it?"

"yes," you whimpered, 

"how much?"

"a lot" you promised "I want it so much Mr. Miller, please"

"yeah?" he taunted, positioning it at your entrance

"yeah-" you managed before he had pushed into you, making such a feeling erupt in you that you forgot all about your boyfriend upstairs and cried loudly because fuck it, but he was so fucking big.

His hand covered your mouth before you had even realized what had happened.

"I thought you said you were gonna be good" 

Your eyes widened as your pussy still tried to accommodate the importance of him

A muffled "I'm sorry" made it to his ears

"I wouldn't wanna have to stop"

"no" you begged immediately "no please don't stop" You shook your head, so desperate you would have felt pathetic if it wasn't that you weren't thinking about anything anymore besides your pleasure, besides him, besides this, whatever it was.

"if I take this off you you'll be quiet?" he asked, nodding to his hand

"yes," you nodded "yes, sir, please"

Sir?

Fuck

If his cock could have gotten harder it would have.

"alright then" he conceded, taking his hand away "Can I move sweetheart?"

"mh-mh" you hummed, nodding eagerly

a soft grin spread over his face at that, but before you could fully take in the beauty of it, of him, of his patchy salt and pepper beard and pink lips, he had done as you asked, and started moving

"fuck" you whimpered "y-you're so big"

The implication behind your words hit you only after having pronounced them, but he was kind enough not to comment on it.

"and yet you're taking me all like a good girl" he groaned "taking all of my cock inside this tight little pussy of yours"

His right hand got rid of your tank top, pulling it down until your boobs spilled from it so he could grab and grope at them freely while his thrusts got faster, and somehow, somehow even fucking deeper, and you were just- god you were in another universe, and right when you shut your eyes, your forehead falling to his in bliss, another moan escaped you, and his hand found your lips again

"What did I tell you sweetheart?" he grunted, his pace not slowing down "I need you to stay quiet" he explained again "I need you to be good and not make a sound so I can fuck you like you nee-"

"Babe?"

Your heart skipped a beat.

It was his voice, your boyfriend's voice, coming from upstairs

"babe, is everything alright?"

Your eyes widened and his movements stopped as you stared into each other's eyes for a moment

What do I do? What do I do? what the fuck do I do?

"answer him," Joel said, freeing your mouth without any further explanation.

"I-" you mumbled

"do it sweetheart, or he's gonna come down here, and I don't think either of us want that"

And so of course, you did

"I-I'm fine!" you yelled

"are you sure?"

And just when you were about to answer, his fingers materialized on your clit, circling it.

You gasped, widening your eyes at him 

"answer" he commanded, not stopping, the opposite actually, starting his thrusts again "Answer him doll"

"b-but"

"just do it" he murmured "Tell him you're sure"

You gulped, breathing heavily, 

"I'm sure!" 

"Ok"

And just like that, as if it were a miracle, Jason stopped his questioning, and you hid your face into the crook of Joel's neck, biting his skin as his pace fastened again, making that fucking feeling his son couldn't create take over your whole belly again.

"Mr Miller- oh my god" you cried, actual tears threatening to spill your eyes at the feeling

"shh" he cooed "I know sweetheart I know" he felt your walls tighten around him as the fingers in your hair gripped his locks harder "there we go," he grunted, his cock so deep inside of you you could feel it in your belly "that's all you needed wasn't it?" he asked " for someone to abuse this little pussy" he groaned, "for me, for me to fuck you like you deserve"

his lips were just before yours, not even an inch distancing you from a kiss, and yet, you weren't gonna cross that line, not today.

"yes" you moaned lowly "yes sir, yes"

"fuck" he groaned "you feel so good sweetheart, squeezing me so good... such a good girl"

"oh" you moaned, back into his neck "s-shit"

"'s ok" he purred, his fingers and hips working relentlessly to destroy you completely "'s ok sweetheart just-"

"Babe, can you bring me some water too?"

And if before Joel had stopped, it wasn't even remotely in his plans now. There you were, on the verge of an orgasm, and he was supposed to stop? no fucking way

He did the opposite, he started going harder, the table shifting on the floor.

You gasped and moaned before you finally freed your mouth from your neck, clinging to him as you answered

"Yes!" you screamed, hoping the pure pleasure behind your words wouldn't be hearable "Yes! I-I'm c-coming!"

"Yeah" he groaned into your ear "Yeah you are sweetheart" he purred, completely drowning out whatever response Jason gave you "Now give it to me, come all over my cock like a good girl"

And just like that, white pure bliss washed over you, and for a moment you were somewhere else, heaven, or hell more probably, but another universe for sure.

And you only came back when Joel's grunts sounded in your ears, when his thrusts got more sloppy, when you answered the words "Where do you want it?" with a simple "inside", and then finally, you fully came back to earth when he did, when he filled you up to the brim, remaining still deep inside you so none of it went to waste.

"fuck" he groaned after a while, finally pulling out of you to meet your eyes.

"Mr. Miller-"

You were waiting for the guilt to take over you, but somehow, for whatever reason, it still hadn't, and he felt exactly the same

"Babe?"

"shit" you gasped, getting off the table to put your panties back on.

"you need to go doll" Joel murmured, helping you put your tank top back into place

"Mr. Miller..." you murmured, your voice as shaky as your legs "I've got your come running down my thighs"

A soft smirk pulled at his lips

"should have thought of that before you said you wanted it inside" he taunted, his hands on your waist "or before you decided to touch yourself in my kitchen, sweetheart"

[vaspider]

Last year I wrote about what happened at Pride when a couple of kids didn't understand why us older folx were so bitter about Reagan.

This year, I have something a little softer.

Someone who looked a little older than me came up to the booth wearing a pink t-shirt proclaiming him one of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, San Francisco chapter. As I was ringing him up, I asked if he'd been involved for a while.

"Yes," he said, "for a bit," in that way us middle-aged people do when we're sort of wincing and feeling old.

"Okay, well," I said, sitting at my register in my queer booth full of queer clothes and patches and pins, topless in public for the first time. (I had pasties on for my own comfort bc I was working, but I live in the city of the Naked Bike Ride, and I took full advantage). My baby brother and both of my partners ran around behind me, my brother wearing a loose tank top that makes his scars visible.

"I need to tell you that you all helped keep me alive."

He blinked at me as I continued, "I was a kid in high school in the early 90s. I lived in the middle of nowhere in Pennsylvania, and what you all were doing was so loud and so out there that even I heard about your work. It was one of the things that kept me alive. So thank you, and please thank the rest of the Sisters."

I heard about them through people in my parents' church complaining about them, and then I sought more information through the beginning of the internet, through newspapers, through anything I could find. I found the cover of Newsweek that one of the Sisters was on. I read about their "exorcism" of fundamentalist preachers whose books sat on the shelf in my parents' basement and probably still do. I saw how loud and colorful and unapologetically queer they were.

The knowledge that someone was out there, so full of defiant joy, refusing the shame that people kept trying to put on them? Oh, that kept me alive. I saw them, and I knew I could make it through. I wrapped my hands around that knowledge, and I held on so tight.

It took me a long time - a long, long time - to unwind most of it for myself and get to the point where my fat butch ass was sitting bare-chested in the July breeze, looking up at him as he held out his arms and said "you're actually giving me chills." I answered, "I mean every word. You helped keep me alive. So thank you."

I never know what to say when people come up to me in public and tell me that I helped them or changed their life in some way. I appreciate it, and I genuinely love the people who apologized for "fanpersoning" at me last weekend, I just never know what to say. I'm incredibly grateful that the Sister I spoke to was incredibly gracious, saying "usually we give blessings, but I feel like you blessed me." Another member of the party let me pet their tiny dog, who was not very interested in me, and that's okay. It was an overwhelming day. Then, they moved on.

Me? I'm still sitting with the fact that I looked last weekend into the faces of people who didn't know they were holding my head above water, and that I got to tell them the work they do matters. It's a rare thing to get to tell someone, "You saved me," and I'm treasuring it.

Last weekend, I wore my new battle vest with nothing underneath it, unless it was too hot, and then I just sat in my chair, chatting and ringing ppl out with my skin free to the air. I decided last year that top surgery isn't for me, but that also I'm going to love this body unapologetically, and it's no less a transmasculine body because the soft new dark hair on my belly isn't accompanied by pink scars along my ribs.

I didn't get here on my own. I got here because someone else cut through the undergrowth ahead of me so I could take another step forward. Here I am, decades later, still taking step after step, one at a time, and trying to lay paving stones behind me.

Last weekend was another step along that way, another step through unwinding the fear and shame and sadness that my parents and their church built into me. Another step out of hating myself for hiding parts of myself for so long, for acting out in other ways to distract people from my queerness, for feeling so much guilt when other people tell me I'm brave, because I know how much of myself I hid for how long because I was a coward, because I was afraid.

Another step into expiating stigmatic guilt.

[dixons-sunshine]

Damn Tease | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Summary: It was an extremely hot day in Alexandria. Luckily, there wasn't much to do, barely anything at all, so you and Daryl decided to do it while everyone else relaxed for a change. However, Daryl soon wished he hadn't offered, because you decided it would be a good idea to get him all worked up—and your tiny shorts and tank top certainly didn't help his mind stay on track.

Genre: Suggestive.

Era: Alexandria, no arc in particular.

Warnings: Swearing, suggestive themes.

Word count: 1.5k.

A/n: For @ghostboneswrites2's writing challenge! It's my first time ever doing one of these so hopefully I did it right lol. I hope you like this! By the way, to my fellow writers, please join if you feel up for it! You can find the post with the prompts and rules here.

The blazing summer sun relentlessly beat down on the world ravaged by the undead. It seemed as if though even the flesh eating monsters that roamed the earth every day had deemed the day too hot to go on their regular cannibalistic ventures, for no rotting corpse could be seen for miles and no loud groan could be heard in the near distance. The Alexandrian occupants had decided that the overly hot day would be spent lounging indoors or on their porches, the tasks of the day luckily not too much and could be left for the next day. However, Daryl had decided earlier that very morning that lounging indoors wasn't an activity that he wanted to partake in, so he went about completing the miniscule amount of tasks around the community. And since you didn't want to spend the day lazing around without him, you decided to join your partner on his stubborn venture.

However, as you brushed past the crossbow-wielding archer to grab one of the crates to bring into the pantry, your behind brushing ever so slightly against his front, Daryl wished you had decided to spend the day like the rest of the community. Although you were helping, and he certainly appreciated your help, you were being a major, hot as hell distraction, and he was two seconds away from dropping the crate of cherries he was carrying, throwing you over his shoulder and carrying you back to your shared house to indulge in the fantasies his mind was conjuring up the longer he stared at you.

Daryl felt like a perfect fool for even thinking of things like that while the two of you were supposed to be working. You barely even acknowledged his presence, too caught up with your own tasks to do so, and there he was, ogling you like an inexperienced school boy with a dumb crush on the popular girl. Admittedly, the outfit you had chosen to wear that day certainly didn't help his problem at all. The shorts you were wearing left just enough covered for his imagination to run wild, and your tank top hugged you in all the right ways, your cleavage covered but also showing just enough skin to have him licking his lips to keep them wet. Whether you had worn that particular outfit just to tease him and punish him for not complying with your request to stay indoors that day, he didn't know. What he did know, was that he desperately wanted to tear that shirt from your body, and work his way down to—

“I was thinking,” your voice rang through the air, effectively snapping the huntsman from his provocative train of thought. You had stepped back into the part of the pantry that temporarily housed the crates the two of you were hoisting and sorting out. “Tomorrow, when we go on that run, we should swing by that store we saw a few weeks ago. You know, the one that had all those kiddie pools? It would be nice to bring a couple of them back for the kids so that they don't have to suffer in this weather.”

“Yeah,” Daryl began, his eyes following you as you bent over to pick up your water bottle, your shorts riding up ever so slightly and driving him mad. He should just shoot himself at that moment and spare himself the misery you were putting him through. He cleared his throat, put the crate of cherries he held in his hands down on the ground and tried to focus back on the conversation at hand. “Yeah, sounds good.”

You smiled at him and took a sip from the water bottle that held some cherry flavoured drink you had made that morning with the same cherries the two of you were busy with in the pantry. You accidentally spilled some of the drink, and the droplets trickled down your chin and onto your chest, soon disappearing down your shirt. Daryl's eyes followed the droplets that trickled down your shirt, inhaling sharply when you tried to brush the wetness away, slightly pulling your shirt down and exposing some of your bra. God, you were driving him completely insane.

You looked up again and locked eyes with Daryl, and you smirked slightly at the sight of him. He was tightly gripping the shelf to his right, his knuckles turning white at the force he was bestowing on them. His breathing was heavier than usual, and he not-so-subtly adjusted his jeans. Good, your plan was working.

“Daryl, are you okay?” you asked him ‘innocently’, walking up to him and barely containing your smirk when you heard him inhale sharply. “You look a little flushed. Maybe you should sit down for a bit.”

Daryl licked his lips as he stared down at you, his vantage point giving him a clear view down your shirt. However, Daryl forced himself not to think like that. “Yeah, m'fine, Sweetheart. Why do ya ask?” he told you, trying to convince both you and himself. “And m'jus' a lil' hot, s'all. Nothin' to worry 'bout.”

“Are you sure?” you asked him while looking up at him through your eyelashes while maintaining your innocent act.

Daryl nodded quickly. “Yeah, m'sure. Ya dun' gotta worry 'bout me. I'll be alrigh'.”

“Okay, if you're sure.” You took a few steps backwards, sending him a mischievous smile. “By the way, you should probably focus more on sorting out these crates than staring at my ass. And my boobs, for that matter.” Daryl's eyes widened at your words. He started stuttering out words of denial, claiming he wasn't staring, but you simply waved him off. “No need to deny it, Daryl. Besides, I'd be offended if you didn't stare. I didn't wear this outfit for Spencer, after all.”

Realization dawned on Daryl. He shook his head and cursed himself for not figuring it out sooner. This was your version of revenge for him deciding not to stay in with you. Under no normal circumstances would you ever wear an outfit like that while doing chores around the community. It all suddenly made perfect sense to the archer.

“Ya did this on purpose?” Daryl asked in an accusing tone, shaking his head when you simply sent him a smug smile. “Yer a damn tease, ya know tha'?”

In a surge of confidence, you dipped down to grab a cherry from the crate Daryl had put on the ground. You stepped forward and looped an arm around Daryl's neck, staring deeply into his ocean coloured eyes as you slowly and sensually bit down into the sweet fruit. A mischievous, teasing smirk rested on your face as you heard Daryl let out a shaky breath, and you pressed your body impossibly closer to your partner's, successfully eliciting a small groan from him when you put just the slightest bit of pressure on his growing erection. “I know,” you whispered in a sultry voice, throwing the stem of the small fruit away to loop your other arm around his neck as well. “That's the whole point. Consider it payback for not staying in with me today. I had so much planned for us today, so many fun activities, but you just had to be your selfless self and do this.”

Daryl gulped and stared down into your eyes, his pupils dilating with each passing second. His hands rested on your hips, his grip tightening at your words. “Wha' activities did ya have in mind?”

Your smirk widened and you leaned up to let your lips hover over his, just barely grazing against his. Daryl's breathing stopped at that action, his eyes following your every movement. “Well,” you began in a seductive whisper, one of your hands trailing down his chest, his stomach and stopping just above the tent that was forming in his jeans. “Let's just say, it's not exactly something people would consider kid-friendly.”

Daryl's heart sped up at your confirmation. He pulled back from you and turned around to pick up the crate he had put down, before looking back at you expectantly. “We have a job to do. Let's get this over and done with, yeah? Then we can go home. The other chores'll have to wait 'till tomorrow.”

Your eyes widened at the pace he had started working at, the smirk on your face ever present. “What? I thought you wanted to get everything done today. Isn't that why you didn't want to stay in with me?”

“Jus' quit smackin' yer red lips and help me, won't ya?”

You giggled and sprung into action, eager to finish up with what you were busy with and to return home with your partner to do something way more exciting than sorting out crates. “Yes, sir.”

“Good girl,” Daryl praised you, sending heat straight down to your core.

Daryl was a selfless man by nature. But just that once, he wanted to indulge in something meant just for him, and that something was the two of you, naked as the day you were born, in bed, limbs tangled together. And Daryl would be damned if he let that opportunity slip between his fingers.

©dixons-sunshine 2024. I do not give permission for my works to be copied, modified, adapted or translated to any other site or platform without evidence of my given consent.

[d0rothydraws]

Plus size reader has been sick and busy for the last 2 weeks. Sylus has also been busy, resorting in them not having sex for that time. Then, you feel better one day.

content: f!reader, plus size reader, description of fat bodies, very body positive, oral f! receiving, teasing, smut

w/c: 2.4k

Ao3: Here

a/n: I had an idea and it turned into this which was NOT my idea but I hope you enjoy it anyways. I want to write more plus size content as a big girlie myself I need to make my own food for this community.

also i'll be posting less because I'm starting a new job but I'll try to post now and then but also i'm going to try and write a bunch of prompts and oneshots for kinktober so if i do write stuff, I might just be saving it for october.

if theres anything you want to see with any of the boys for kinktober, send me an ask or comment and i'll make a list. I'll write pretty much anything.

You and Sylus have been busy as of late. Meetings, work, other obligations that left you tired. On top of that, for the last week you've been fighting off a cold. So, reluctantly much to the both of you, you had not had sex for two weeks; which for you two, two weeks ago seemed impossible. Two weeks ago it seemed like every few hours you were being dragged away, pulled onto his lap, lifted onto the counter, in the shower, against the door. Everywhere, anytime.

Of course you both were pent up, but your relationship was more than sex. You enjoyed each others company, and he would hold you close no mater how worried you were about getting him sick. He would kiss your forehead, his touch gentle and caring as you waited until you recovered. You swore you drank a years worth of orange juice which, in turn, upset your stomach more. He would tease you about wanting to get better so quickly, that he enjoyed taking care of you. But you knew he was just as eager as you.

So when you woke up one night you noticed how you felt imminently.

The feeling in your throat, gone. The weight behind your eyes, gone. The soreness in your stomach, gone. It was like you were a new person. As you sat up in the bed, knowing Sylus was still awake, probably in the attic watching a movie, your heart raced. You already felt the excitement build inside you as you just thought about what the next couple hours would consist of.

You changed clothes, your frumpy baggy night clothes replaced with a thin tank top that left nothing to the imagination. The curve of your soft stomach poked out slightly through the bottom of the fabric. Shorts replacing the thick pajama pants you've been wearing for two weeks straight. You looked at yourself in the mirror, pleased at the display. You weren't shy about your body. Not anymore, not worth him. He told you time and time again how your curves drove him wild, how his hands would sink into your body. The way your thighs touched and shook as you walked. You caught him looking more than a couple times. And now, with everything on display, your mission had begun.

Making your way up the stairs to the attic you didn't try to be quiet. You knew he would be able to hear you, anyways, you wanted him to see you. As you immerged, the room was dark. Sylus preferred to use a projector, the white canvas stretching the entirety of the wall beside the door. And in an instant, his eyes were on you. The red piercing the darkness more than the projector light did. You didn't hesitate or falter though as you walked right past him to the little bar that was behind the couch.

"What's got you all dressed down, kitten. Did you get too hot?" He said the concern clear in his voice but also, there was a roughness that he's been holding back for weeks present. You felt the sound make your head spin.

"Yeah, I got another hot flash." You said moving to grab a bottle of water that you knew you weren't going to drink, but you wanted to catch him off guard. "What are you watching?" You asked as you moved to stand behind the couch. You could nearly see the hair on the back of his head prickle at your presence. Before he could answer you leaned down, your lips pressing against his ear. Your voice low, your chest pressed against the edge of the couch, against his back as he felt your soft body against him making his breath hitch. "I don't think I seen this one before."

You felt his body tense against you, his hand on his drink tensed as your hand moved over his chest, feeling his muscles flex under his sweat shirt. He turned his head trying to look at you, but in turn, you took advantage, pushing your lips against his now exposed neck. What you didn't expect, was for him to moan.

"I thought you were still sick, sweetie." He said with an edge to his voice as he tried to not let his emotions get the better of him. But you both knew he was more sensitive than what he wanted you to believe. As he felt your teeth graze his neck, you moved back up to his ear, catching the lobe softly with your tongue.

"I was. And now I'm not." You said matter-of-factly, leaning more over the couch so he could feel your chest on the back of his neck. Sylus moved his hand, trying to touch you, any part of you before you moved away, circling the couch. You stood Infront of him, your body casting a shadow on the movie. His eyes raked down your body, his cheeks having a faint red glow. Slowly you walked over to him, your thighs trapping him against the couch. You sat back on him, watching his throat constrict slightly as his hand touched the soft curve on your side.

"You look very appetizing right now." He said with a groan, feeling your body in his hands, his cock twitching under your ass that was barely covered by your shorts. "Are you sure you're feeling better. If we start it will be hard for me to stop especially when you look like this." He said, his breath heavy as his hands moved to your love handles, the soft dough like area melting under his fingers as he started to sink his fingers more into you. His hands kneading your body as his cock twitched again. You pressed against him, your stomach and chest soft against his hard one, filling the space between your two bodies.

"Aw are you saying I'm cute? I could say the same about you." You teased as your own hands moved to the hem of his shirt. He helped you, taking his hands off you just long enough to let you pull it over his head and toss it to the side of the couch. His eyes narrowed at your comment but he smirked softly, enjoying the hunger in your eyes as you looked at his body. His muscles flexed, so defined, strong. And yours on top of him. Soft, more curves than he could hold in one hand and just as sexy as him. You complimented each other.

"Oh darling you're much more than cute" He purred, his hands on you again as he trailed down your curves to grasp the side of your thigh. His other hand moved to the top of your tank top, pulling it down more and more until it ripped. He watched as your chest was slowly revealed more as he stretched out the already thin shirt. The sight made his mouth water. You shivered, watching as your chest shook softly from the fabric ripping, the rest of your shirt falling off of your shoulders. You teased him, using your arms to press your tits together, shaking them slightly. You seen a spark flash in his eye before his head pressed into the cleavage.

His eyes looked up at you as you moaned, feeling his tongue lick at one nipple a your other nipple as being pinched and played with by his fingers. You ground your hips against him, moaning as you felt him bite your nipple as if giving a warning. That didn't stop you from doing it again though. And this time, he ground back. Slow, and steady. He pulled his mouth away from you, a long string of saliva attaching him to your nipple before it broke.

Your hands moved to his chest, the palms brushing over the skin as you ground again, his hands moving to your hips, holding you still. In seconds, you felt the couch against your back, one leg hanging off of the couch due to the width of your thighs, but it only made his job easier since you were practically on display for him.

His hands moved over your body, body caging you in as he left no inch left untouched and un-kissed. He started at your neck, peppering kisses as he licked down between your chest, his hands returning for a second before he continued lower. He kissed down your stomach, taking extra time for his hands to play with you some more. To feel your weight in his hands, how your body was so soft against his. His hands weren't shy about any rolls you had, or extra softness. If anything he took his time to appreciate every curve, his hands and fingers making your dizzy as he slowly reached the top of your shorts.

His hands slipped under the band of your shorts, pulling them down to find the lack of underwear. He chuckled, trailing kisses down your soft thighs, nipping the inside gently as he felt you twitch and shiver from his touch.

"No panties? What a naughty kitten." He purred as he licked the inside of your thigh again, his other hand pulling the one that was hanging off the couch to rest on his shoulder. Before you could answer, his face was between your thighs. He had the hunger of a man that hadn't eaten in weeks. And in a way, he hadn't. One hand moved to grope your stomach, fingers squeezing and kneading the softness you had as his tongue pushed inside you. He moaned, breath heavy as you clenched around his tongue, pulling your hips closer, forcing his tongue deeper.

"You taste sweeter than I remember. All of that orange juice might have had something to do with it." He growled, pulling back for a moment as you gasped for breath at the sudden stop. You looked at him, the sight of his face covered in your juices, how he licked his lips. His free hand moved between your thighs, gently pushing two fingers in at once. Your body arched, eyes rolling back as he moved his mouth back to meet his hand. His lips moving to suck and lick your clit until you were shaking and begging him to not stop. As you came on his fingers, he licked you clean, not wasting a single drop as he pulled away, purring softly. "Delicious." He said, his voice heavy with arousal.

As you caught your breath, he moved off of the couch, discarding his pants and boxers. You looked at him, moaning softly as you felt heat flood your body at the sight of his thick dripping cock. It had been 2 weeks since you took him, and a thrill went through your body as you wondered how he would feel after so long. A hand moved to his cock as he rubbed himself, walking to you. His eyes raking over your body. You moved one leg over the back of the couch as if to draw him in more, if that was even possible.

As he repositioned over you, he kissed you slowly. You moaned as you tasted yourself on him, kissing back. A hand moved to your cheek as his thumb trailed your jaw. After a moment he pulled back, his voice earnest and soft.

"It's been a while, so I'll start slow." He said as he rubbed the tip of his cock against your wetness, coating himself slightly. You gave a soft nod, your heart fluttering at his sincerity before he started to push in.

Your body went numb. Your cheeks flushed as your mouth opened. every nerve in your body contracted at the feeling. Pure pleasure and some pain as you felt your body stretch. He did move slow, but the moans he made, the grunts as you clenched around him, it made it hard for the both of you. You knew he was big, you've fucked more times than you could count. But in your abstinence, your body forgot.

"God, Sylus." You moaned, a hand curling in his hair, another clawing his arm. "You feel bigger than I remember." You gasped out, nails digging into him which made him rut slightly, pushing more into you as you cried out.

"Oh, sweetie. I'm almost offended. But I suppose it's more of a happy surprise." He said with a chuckle before he bottomed out. Your head was empty, the only thing that felt empty if you were honest. The only thought was him. How full he made you feel. How deep he was, how much he stretched you as you shook around him. No wonder you fucked him several times a day, his cock was like a drug. A drug made for you and you alone.

As he started to move his hands grabbed your love handles, fingers sinking into the flesh as he pulled you closer. Your body jiggled with each thrust, your chest bouncing, thighs wobbling, stomach shaking. Sylus growled softly, his eyes darkening at the sight as his thrusts got rougher as if to see how much he could make your body bounce from his cock.

Soon, you felt his hips start to stutter. One of his hands moved to between your thighs, thumb working the hard little nub that was begging to be touched. As he felt you clench around him, moaning and clawing his arm which was definitely going to leave a mark, he felt how close you were. Your moans getting louder, your cries getting higher pitched as your face grew more red, legs shaking around him.

"You look so good like this under me." He said, his voice heavy with need as he continued his movement. His comment pushed you over the edge, your body shaking with pleasure as your orgasm hit you like a wave. You gasped out his name, hand falling off of his arm. Seconds later he followed after you, groaning as he painted the inside of your walls with his thick cum. He continued to pump into you, slower as he released, riding it out. Your eyes rolled as you whimpered. Had he not came this whole time? There was so much. You shivered as you felt your body get aroused again, feeling how much he was filling you before finally pulling out, his cock still half half. He panted, leaning over you as he put one arm on the couch arm rest.

Kissing you slowly, he brought his other hand to your face, holding you firmly. There was heat behind the kiss. His body still burning with that need for you.

"I hope you're not tired." He said against your lips, his hands moving to rub the expanse of your thighs. "Because we have to make up for lost time."

[stinmybubs]

"I want you."

AN: Hi hi! I haven't ever really posted on tumblr because I'm so obsessed with reading lol, but I just decided to say fuck it and write wtv I think of.

18+!! Please be advised there will be mature content! Minors I cannot control you but DNI if you do see this, thank you so much!

AFAB! Reader! x Bakugo Katsuki

Bakugo is a hothead, we all know this as a fact. Getting close to him wasn't that easy, you found him a bit annoying because of his constant yelling every time someone tried to be nice to him.

You never considered Bakugo Katsuki as your type, maybe Kirishima, Midoriya, a little bit of Denki, hell Mina sure was up your alley. But the way you saw the hot headed boy changed a bit overtime, it was his calmness. He never really got out of line unless provoked or wanted to show off a bit. Which you found awfully cute.

It was the little things. Noticing how he treated those he kept around him, just the cute ways he'd refuse to make eye contact with people especially when he was embarrassed.

Sooner or later you found yourself staring at him more often, noticing how beautiful he was, yeah beautiful...but also how awfully hot he was. His biceps, chest, arms, legs, everything was just so ugh. The way he looked in tank tops just made you drool.

AN: Okay okay I'm getting off track of actual head cannons I am so sorry its been so long.

B Katsuki He notices how you stare, and cant say he hates the attention you give him, of course he loves it. He revels in it.

B Katsuki You never noticed, but he always kept an eye on you. Not only was he too afraid to speak to you but he knew you didn't see him in a good way. I mean you made it pretty obvious from the beginning and by the way you used to look at him. He was never too good at properly talking to someone. Especially people he liked. So he started with small things, trying to be calmer even though everything everyone said was stupid. He just wanted you to like him, but he didn't know if you ever will.

B Katsuki When he noticed the staring, his heart skipped. It made him nervous and he never knew where to look. But now, its time to show off even more knowing you're watching. He tried looking over from time to time to see your reaction to what he was doing, did you like it? But one time he saw you looking everywhere but his face and the smirk on his face when he found out...his ego inflated so much that day.

B Katsuki The worst part of trying to drop hints at Bakugo was hot but frustrating, the way you'd purposely bend over in his line of sight, or the way you'd purposely unbutton your shit whenever it was "hot." But the fucker never even looked your way or said anything.

B Katsuki Oh he noticed, he noticed your little tease. And how he longed to touch you. But what pissed him off about you doing this was how the other boys could see this, especially on one particular day.

Class 1-A decided to collectively work out together, especially try to motivate the non-athletic classmates. Your workout clothes weren't that different from the rest of the girls, a tank top and some work out shorts. You and the girls were kind of slacking off until Bakugo came over yelling for you guys to stop fooling around and actually work out or in his words. " Leave ya' takin up space." And with that the giggling was over.

"Ugh..." You groaned, leaning against a wall to regain your energy. You quickly grabbed the small towel you had resting on the bar while you were attempting to bench press, wiping the icky sweat from your forehead and chest.

"Eugh, water...need.." This time you weren't even attempting to be a tease, you just wanted some fucking water. You bend over to check the time on your phone, lowering your head with a hand on the wall, resting your eyes with a sigh.

"Ugh...we've been here for only 30min." You sigh, lifting yourself back up and stretching your back. Not realizing the fuming Katsuki staring at you.

"Oi' fuckers I didn't say you can stop workin' out!"

Bakugo yelled, noticing a handful of guys staring at you. Denki, mineta, Kirishima, and Sero. Now he's pissed.

AN: Uhhh, this turned out to be wayyyy more than headcannons. Safe to say that this is going to have a pt.2! Yay my first 2 parter! I cannot write long stories so :3 Oh! I am recently getting back into writing so I am very sorry if the grammar is horrid and the story sucks it was off the top of my head as I wrote, no pre-plan, no nothin. I am very sorry! But thank you for reading. <3

[oldvampkitsuneeee]

I wrote this work last year and never planned to publish it, but I remembered it last night, thought about it and decided to translate this work (sorry if it's not very good :"D). Female reader. Jade almost drowned Yuu. Fluff. ***

Today turned out to be a very hot day. There was not a single cloud in the sky, the sun was shining brightly, and there was unbearable heat. On this day off, the students of Night Raven College mostly was in their dormitories and tried to escape the heat. Someone was running to Sam's store for ice cream and drinks.

Yuu and Grim were at their home in the Ramshuckle. It was the hardest for them. Ordinary students could use water or wind magic to somehow refresh themselves. Some of the dorms had cool temperatures, but these two didn't even have a fan and were sitting in a stuffy house.

Grim was lying on the floor in the shape of a star. It was coolest there, although it was uncomfortable. The cat stretched as best he could. The presence of wool complicated his situation, because it made him unbearably hot. Yuu was lying on the sofa, throwing one leg over the back and holding a homemade fan in her hand, fanning herself with it. – It’s horrible! – she shined from her soft place, – I hope this is the first and last time it’s so hot outside. I don’t want to sit in a stuffy school office and die from the stuffiness.

– Maybe if this doesn’t stop, we just won’t go anywhere? – Grim expressed his thought, – We don’t lose anything and the maximum is that if we do this, they will tell us how bad we are and shouldn’t do that.

At this moment, a vibration was heard coming from Yuu’s phone. Muttering something dissatisfied, she reached for the phone, which lay on a small table in front of the sofa. Her face immediately changed from dissatisfied to joyful.

– It’s Jade? – Grim asked with grin.

The girl on the sofa first glanced briefly at the monster, then took him aside, pursing her lips to hide an embarrassed smile. She had been in a relationship with Jade for several months. They didn’t really advertise it, and only those closest to them knew about their couple. It was Grim, Floyd and Azul. The latter was not very happy about this union, but remained silent. Yuu still felt awkward about some things, and half the time she was either embarrassed or went into denial and pretended there was no chemistry between her and the moray, while Jade liked to tease her about it when they were alone.

They have seen each other quite rarely lately. Both were swamped with schoolwork, and Jade also had his own duties as vise housewander and work in the Lounge.

– Hmm, he writes that they will cool off in one of the tanks, and invites us to join them. – the girl said, quickly typing out an answer, after which she got up from the sofa and went to her room to change from her home clothes into something more decent. – Couldn’t he arrange a normal date for you in the pool with all this romantic stuff? – Grim meowed and stretched, after which he stood up and also headed into the room for Yuu.

– Grim, it’s not a date!

– Yeah, yeah, as you say, henchman. ***

They arrived at the Octavinelle dorm. After a walk under the scorching sun, they breathed a sigh of relief when they found themselves in a cool room. The  hall was empty. It seems that today even the octotrio were unable to work and had a day off. Or no one wanted to drag themselves to them.

Yuu walked to the upper floors while Grim sat on her shoulder, where the entrances to the tanks were located. Azul was sitting near one of them. He was wearing only a shirt and shorts. The guy was sitting on the edge with his feet in the water. Behind him were plates of snacks and drinks.

– Hello, Azul! – Yuu greeted him. The guy looked at them and nodded in response. It was noticeable that the octopus was somehow tired today. She sat down to the right of Aschengrottno, also dipping her feet into the water, and placed a plate of takoyaki between them. Grim jumped off his shoulders and settled down on the cool floor behind them.

– Uh, where these morays? – the cat asked, – Jade seemed to invite us, but he himself disappears somewhere.

At that moment they noticed that “something” very long was swimming in the water. It leaned towards them, and very soon Floyd and part of his body emerged from the water.

– Shrimpy! Seal! You’re finally arrived! Why so long? the merfolk asked displeasedly, – Jade and I already thought that you wouldn’t come. – He pouted. Floyd swam up to Azul and put his legs on his chest, holding them with his hands. The head of the hostel did not object, but only handed the moray a sandwich. – Speaking of Jade, where is he? – Yuu asked. She was just about to say something else when suddenly her boyfriend surfaced right in front of her. Jade buried his face in her stomach and hugged her, pulling the girl closer to him. Yuu was taken aback by such actions of her young man. Her face flushed red and she looked away nervously. The girl timidly ran her hand through the moray’s hair. They usually did not show affection towards each other in front of other people. No matter how teasing the eel was, he himself was often embarrassed by many of the actions of his passion. It was much easier for these two to express their feelings in private. But apparently now Jade didn’t care about strangers. He had not seen his pearl for too long, had not heard her voice, had not touched her, had not smelled her sweet perfume. He only had her messages on his phone, which they exchanged at the end of the day to say how much they missed each other. Jade soon broke away from his girlfriend and dove under the water. What no one expected was for him to grab her legs and drag her along with him. Yuu screamed, attracting the others' attention. Grim and Azul immediately jumped up from their seats, but before they could do anything, the prefect was already under water. Having plunged under water, she began to panic. It was dark around, nothing could be seen or heard, it was hard for her to breathe. Jade's hands disappeared somewhere, and Yuu felt like she was sinking. She wanted to scream, but she couldn't. Suddenly, Yuu felt the merfolk's hands again, already on her waist. He pressed her to his chest and began to swim away somewhere with her.

– Jade, what are you doing?! Azul, do something! – Grim yelled, turning to senior student.

– You know, little seal, I wouldn’t recommend interfering with Jade now. –  Floyd said calmly, leaning his face on his hand, –  He has been so gloomy all this days.

After a few seconds the eel stopped. Yuu felt how they seemed to turn over, and then his long tail was under her feet so that the girl could sit on it. She felt like she was about to suffocate, but they finally emerged. – Jade! – the girl screamed through her cough, – Are you an idiot?! I could have drowned! – her hair blocked her entire view, so she began to move it apart in different directions to glare angrily at the moray eel.

The merfolk pressed himself against the top of his girlfriend's head, inhaling the sweet scent. One of his hands landed on her thigh, stroking her soothingly. – I just missed you, my pearl. – Jade said quietly in the girl’s ear with his velvet voice, which sent shivers down her spine. – But there was no need to drag me under the water. – she pouted, – Now I’m all wet! But now you’re not hot anymore. – Jade kissed his beloved on the temple, gigling. Sighing, Yuu leaned back against his chest, relaxing. – But don’t you dare scare me like that again. – she muttered, closing her eyes. – I won’t.

[sacred-coffin]

Thinking about ghoul concepts and wanted to start with Sodo!! In my mind it's rare to see the ghouls not in their "stage" costumes, but I'm sure there are times when they aren't, right? Also, since I'm reposting this I had some more thoughts- I'm going to call the "less casual" form the Element form :)

Hopefully I can make some more designs soon :) until then, I'm gonna ramble some below EDIT: YAYYYY it posted right this time !!!!!!!!!

I don't feel like you'd see much of the casual / less casual ghoul forms, but who knows! I'm gonna keep thinking on them. I wanna design a true form for the ghouls too, but that's a bit... more out of my artistic wheelhouse. For now!

But, for the human design! I like to think he keeps his clothes as simple as possible. Being a water ghoul turned fire, I imagine he was already used to not wearing a lot (easier to swim) and then being a fire ghoul gets pretty hot, hence the tank top & baggy pants.

He presents himself as kinda stoic and grumpy, but it's totally an act, but mostly for anyone who isn't a ghoul (or his current Papa, and still Copia when he is Frater Imperator). Because of that he wears lots of cute little keepsakes for his friends :) he hasn't gotten one from Phantom yet, but that's only because phantom hasn't found the perfect one yet. He has things from the other ghouls he's worked with, but he's stopped wearing them after he got closer with the current ghouls. He keeps them somewhere he can see them, though. He still wears the necklace from Aether though, because they were very very close. I also think that, despite being a huge trouble maker with a short fuse, he's also really quick to take charge if the situation arises, even more-so after Aether left. It's because he's one of the ghouls who's been summoned longer than some others, but being in charge doesn't actually come naturally to him. He's very happy when someone else can handle the responsibilities, but he keeps a close eye just in case.

Also, while thinking about his temper, he actually wasn't always so quick to anger! But it's not because he's an angry person, he just has a lot of passion and strong emotions (which is also why he tries to put on a stoic front), but most people tend to just see that come out as anger, because that one is harder to keep in. This is all because of his change from water ghoul to fire ghoul- he didn't grow up having to navigate and handle all the intense emotions of being a fire ghoul, so he's still adjusting. Really he doesn't have a short fuse, he's just holding in a lot of things so it seems kind of random when he bursts. He's working on it though!

That's all the thoughts I have for now, but! I hope to have more to contribute another time :3

[dailynnt]

A SOBER DRIVER FOR JEON JUNGKOOK

Pairing: Jungkook with Woman!Reader Characters: Jung Jungkook, Reader, Kim Taehyung, Park Jimin (these two will only be moments) Rating: 18+ Orientation: ⚤ Get Number of words: 10,765 Size: Considered Mini. But I plan to make a series out of it. Tags: everyday life, male-female friendship, childhood friends, unrequited feelings (only the main character thinks so), alcohol, drunkenness, night club, professional boxer Jungkook, journalist, virgin main character, first time, obscenity, dirty talk, penetration , passionate kisses, drunken sex, unprotected sex. Warning: My story contains explicit scenes. Please do not read to those under 18. A/N: You and Jungkook were childhood friends. You studied at the same school and spent a lot of time together. But when you both went to university, you lost touch for a while. One day, on the eve of Choseok, Jungkook offers to meet. After this meeting, you realize that you have fallen in love with your best friend. Because after several years of no communication, Jungkook has changed and become very attractive in every way. The plot will tell about the case when Jungkook and his friends go to a night club to relax, he calls you drunk and offers to join them. This is a very tempting offer for you. From the author: Hello everyone. I want to say that this idea was in my head for a long time. The idea that Jungkook and Reader are best friends and she becomes his sober driver one night. I tried to describe her in different situations, but the only thing I came up with is what is described in this story. I am very worried because I am not very good at writing. By the way, please note that English is not my native language. If there are any inaccuracies or grammatical errors, please don't get mad at me and indulge me. Please let me know what part of my story you liked or should I continue? Dedication: I dedicate this work to my twin sister Mariam. Although her bias is Jimin, she was very supportive of me while working on this story. Therefore, all the love of this story to her!

You desperately wanted a rest. When you finished taking a bath, you felt that you had washed off all the burden of today. Anxiety, anger and fatigue followed the stream of water that flowed down your body. For some reason, today was a difficult day at work.

You changed into your pajamas of a tank top and shorts. It was hot in the apartment, so you wanted to wear as few clothes as possible, despite the air conditioner being on.

It was about 21 degrees Celsius outside. The pleasant moderate temperature outside made this night perfect for walking or partying but you didn't want that. A small desire was still in your soul, but fatigue got the better of you. You just wanted to sleep.

Tomorrow is your day off, you had planned to get a good night's sleep and see your girlfriends, but someone had other plans for you.

You went to bed. The soft mattress pleasantly supported your body, which created a feeling of weightlessness. You picked up your phone and opened Instagram.

The first thing that caught your eye was Jungkook's storis. She was the first, followed by Jimin's stories and third was Taehyung's storis. The thought "All is in the assembly" flashed through my head. They must be walking somewhere!". Opening the first story, namely Jungkook, you only confirmed your thoughts. The neon colors of the nightclub lit up on the screen, Jimin and Taehyung flashed on the video. You smiled. You would like to be with them. The feeling of butterflies appeared in the stomach again. It always occurred to you when you saw Jungkook.

Jungkook was your best friend that you knew since childhood. You went to school together and your houses were next to each other. After school, you moved to Seoul to study journalism. Jungkook also moved to Seoul, he entered a sports university where he began to engage in professional boxing. Jungkook is currently the light heavyweight Olympic boxing champion.

When you were in university, your friendship with Jungkook was somewhat on hold. In the first six months of school, you called each other and texted each other and sometimes you could meet, but over time you and Jungkook had less and less time to talk and by the end of your studies, your communication with Jungkook came down wishes to birthday and different holidays. This lasted for several years.

After you finished your studies, you found a job and started working as a journalist.

You remembered how your friendly relations were restored.

Last year, just the day before Choseok, you received a New Year's text from Jungkook. There was no end to your happiness, because you were usually the first to write greetings for your friend, and he only wrote short but very sincere greetings in return. So, text by text, you agreed to meet before the Choseok celebration itself. Jungkook wrote that he missed you very much and would like to see you.

Something warm settled in your chest after those words of your best friend. You agreed to the meeting and were looking forward to it. In the evening, you met in a cozy cafe near your apartment. Jungkook suggested that you choose a place closest to your home so that it would be easier for you to get there. Your friend was not always so caring, so you already knew that this meeting might show you one day your best friend is a different person.

And so it really happened. When you saw Jungkook for the first time in two years, you couldn't believe your eyes. He became muscular and manly. His hair was short and neatly styled. There was no hint of the terrible pot he wore in high school. There was a piercing on the eyebrow and lip, which was very noticeable. He suited him very well. Jungkook also had a tattoo all over his arm. And it made you think that you never thought that Jungkook liked this kind of thing. However, you really liked Jungkook's whole look.

That's when you unconsciously fell in love with your best friend. It was the worst thing you could have done.

You remember how that evening you felt embarrassed in front of your friend when he told some joke that was more like flirting, but you probably could have made it up. So you're embarrassed because your once normal best friend has become the hottest man in the world.

You thought that he must have a girlfriend. But in a conversation about his personal life, Jungkook admitted that he doesn't have anyone, but if he needs a woman, he has no problem with that.

"Connection on the one night? You are disgusting Jeon Jungkook" You said then.

When asked if you have someone, you answered that you did not have any relationship. You quickly made an excuse that work took up all your time. Jungkook laughed at you.

"Really, Y/N so you're still virgin?" His sincere smile made him even more beautiful and your complexion even redder.

“Jeon Jungkook you are ass. This is not a very correct question!" You were annoyed. He can't ask you that.

"Why is it inappropriate?" He laughed. "We are best friends. You can tell me everything."

"So best friends." You said not without a touch of sarcasm. "We last saw each other several years ago. I even forgot what your voice sounds like." Jungkook stopped laughing. He suddenly became serious.

"But stop it. You can really tell me. What's wrong with the fact that you're still virgin?" Jungkook smiled lightly, as if inviting to tell him his personal story.

"Well..." you drawled, collecting your thoughts. "I really didn't have time to date. There were several, but they were completely unsuccessful. Therefore, it turns out that it is so. I am virgin." Your heart was pounding, and there was a noise in your ears. You didn't understand why you felt that way. Jungkook is your best friend, you shouldn't act like that in front of him. But two years of not communicating made themselves felt. For some reason, you couldn't think of Jungkook as a friend because you liked him. In the middle there was a complete feeling that you are on a date and not at a friendly meeting. Your mouth was dry from excitement, you took a cup of aromatic cocoa and took a few sips.

While you were trying to calm yourself down, you didn't pay attention to Jungkook who was looking at you with interest. You didn't notice the spark that flashed in his eyes.

"Oh," Jungkook said. "I would have never thought that a girl like you is still going around without a boyfriend and is even virgin." He giggled.

"Jungkook don't talk so loud!" - you hissed. You would not want the whole cafe to know that you are a virgin.

"Then how are we going to find you a boyfriend?" Jungkook joked.

In the end, your meeting in front of Choseok ended with you celebrating the New Year with Jungkook and his friends together. That's when he introduced you to Jimin and Taehyung.

And now for more than half a year, the four of you often spend time together. But today they are without you, because your boss dumped a lot of work on you.

You looked at the stories of the boys. You scrolled through the feed of the social network, and at some point it became boring so you blocked the phone. Putting it on the bedside table, you tried to fall asleep.

Thoughts of Jungkook immediately filled you’re head. He was in your thoughts almost every day since that meeting in front of Choseok. You couldn't shake the thought that the more time you spend with him, the stronger your feelings for him become.

As for his behavior, it was not unambiguous. He treated you with care, but it was only on a friendly basis. In half a year of new "friendly relations", Jungkook has not once shown you anything romantic. And you were afraid to confess to him. Losing a friendship because of your stupid feelings, what could be worse? But you couldn't help but think that you were literally going crazy. This cannot go on forever. Better to stay friends. You should find someone else to forget Jungkook. Why do feelings for him grow exponentially?

You knew the answer to this question better than anyone else. Jungkook was the perfect man for you in every way. The fact that he was hot on the outside is not even discussed. His body seems to have been created by God himself. You even liked his voice. You especially loved it when Jungkook sang. That's how he could sing. You thought that if he hadn't started boxing, he could have become a popular idol.

Jungkook was very attentive and caring towards you. You were nauseous just thinking that if he is so caring with you, then what is he like in a relationship? Jungkook had all the qualities of a real man and you couldn't help but like it.

But there was something that still worried you about Jungkook, and that was his attitude towards serious relationships. He was not interested in them (this was one of the reasons why you would never confess your feelings to him). Often when were you with Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung you all spent time together, Jungkook would brag about the number of girls who had been in his bed in a week. You felt terrible then, but you tried not to show everyone that you were not happy. The last time when your best friend started talking about his bed achievements, you carefully pretended that you needed to leave, for example, to get a drink, or to get a cup of tea, or to go to the toilet and things like that. Hearing how many women Jungkook had was unbearable.

Thinking of your friend and your unrequited feelings, you didn't immediately hear a notification on your phone. When probably 5 messages arrived, you grabbed the gadget.

22.40. Jungkook-ah 🥊: "Hello, My Heart one. You're awake?"

23.43. Jungkook-ah 🥊: "Hey My Heart one, don't you want to join us? I saw that you were watching our stories with the boys 😉"

23.44. Jungkook-ah 🥊: "Hey!! Why are you ignoring me? You couldn't fall asleep so quickly 😤"

23.45. Jungkook-ah 🥊: "Dear!! Come to us with the boys. Jimin is really asking me to persuade you to come"

23.47. Jimin-shi😈: “Actually Y/N  I think you should come over because Jungkook is talking about you all night 😏🤫”

Your eyes will increase from the number of SMS from friends. Jungkook's "Heart ones" hit the very in your heart, so you felt the butterflies in your stomach again. You opened Jungkook's message to reply as his name flashed on the screen.

 23. 50. Jungkook-ah 🥊 (incoming call)

"Hello" You picked up the phone. Your palms were instantly sweaty.

"Hello My Heart ones. You're awake?" Jungkook's voice was deep and lazy. He chuckled lightly. It seems he was drunk.

"I'm not sleeping Jungkook" You say kindly.

"You saw I wrote to you. Come to us. I miss you and we will have more fun."

"But aren't you already having fun without me?" You asked with a smile. Jungkook sensed your sarcasm and laughed too.

"Hahaha, we're really having fun, but if you came, it was really merriment." In the background you could hear music and sounds of cars. Jungkook must have gone outside to call you.

"Merriment?!" You repeated laughing. "I will never believe that you can't get gaiety without me? Jungkook, I already took a bath and in bed. Do you think I'll want to get out of it after a very hard day?"

“Oh Y/N did you have a bad day? Then you should definitely come to us!"

"Yes, but..." You didn't have time to finish as Jungkook suddenly asked.

"Hey wait did you say you're in bed now?" You heard Jungkook's deep voice.

"Yes"

"How can you lie in bed alone?

"So what?"

"Wouldn't you like to have someone by your side?" Your eyes widened. Jungkook hasn't flirted with you this openly before.

"What do you mean dear?" You tried to give confidence your voice.

“I mean you should come to our club and find a good candidate for the night. Come on, My Heart ones, you are already a grown-up girl. You and I talked about it a lot." You forgot how to speak for a while. All the words seemed to fly out of your head. There was silence for a few seconds.

"I'm sorry, my friend, but for some reason I have absolutely no desire to find a boyfriend right now."

"I know you better than anyone and I feel you need to relax." Silence fell between the two of you. You tried to find an answer but Jungkook broke the silence.

"Come to me." Inside you, everything seems to have broken off. This request sounded so desperate.

"Did you miss me that much?" You wanted to joke.

"Damm. I missed you to hell.” Jungkook said. Your heart was about to burst out of your chest. The desire to come to him grew stronger. But he was drunk. Jungkook thought drunkenly, only the fact that he was drunk could provoke him to say such a thing. You doubted again.

"Y/N" reached your ear. "If you don't want to come to us, let me come to you?"

“Jungkook sweetie, you better go home and get a good night's sleep. How much did you drink?”

"I didn't drink that much. By the way, I came here in my car. And I probably won't be able to take her away. And I have to go to the interview tomorrow. Bullshit!” Jungkook cursed.

"Wait, you have an interview tomorrow and you're still at the club?

"Yeah" Jungkook laughed lazily.

"Hey, why are you so not serious? How are you going to go to an interview like this?"

"I don't know." Admitted your best friend. "Maybe now I won't go."

"How come? You must fulfill your duties!" Now you were nervous. Jungkook can be punished for this behavior, or even better, he can be suspended from the competition if his company finds out about his behavior.

"The only thing you can do is come and drive me home in my car. I'll go to a little bit sleep, maybe I'll even be able to go to the interview." Jungkook suggested. You immediately agreed. You wanted Jungkook to continue to be a model athlete. Because his trainer, whom Jungkook introduced you to, had high hopes for his protégé. Mr. Choo said that Jungkook has a bright future in boxing. However, lately your best friend has partaken of nights out and had a many women.

"Fine. I'll take you, but please don't drink any more while you're waiting for me."

"I am waiting for you my Heart. I'll send you an SMS address."

The taxi pulled up to the entrance to the RAZER night club. Loud music blared from the front door, and people were standing near it. You picked up the phone and read Jungkook's last text message again: "RAZER Club, tell the security guard your name, I've already put you on the list. We will be on the second floor at the table to the left of the entrance. You will see us." You nervously locked your phone. We had to hurry, the clock was already two o'clock in the morning.

You went inside without any problems, telling the guard at the entrance your first and last name. It was stuffy and hot in the club. It smelled of alcohol and hookah. You made your way through the crowd on your way to the stairs leading to the second floor. You are not the first time in this club.

You visited it several times with your girlfriends, and maybe a few times you were here with Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung. Jungkook loved this place so you weren't surprised that he was here. Maybe if he didn't say where he is now, the first place you would start looking for him would be this nightclub.

You climbed the stairs to the second floor and instantly found a table, or rather a sofa, on which Jungkook's company rested. You headed in their direction. A few steps away from the sofa on which Jungkook and Jimin were sitting, the latter noticed you and jumped for joy.

"Wooooo. Who came to see us, Y/N my dear, you are really here." Jimin headed towards you. A moment later he was already holding you close. Taehyung then greeted you with a hug as well. Jungkook sat majestically on the couch waiting for everyone to hug you. When you finished cuddling with Taehyung, Jimin introduced you to the boys sitting at the table. There was a purely male company here. Too many boys. After saying hello to everyone, you sat down near Jungkook.

“You lazy ass. You didn't even didn’t stand up to me!" You said insultingly, shouting over the music. Jungkook leaned into your ear. His breath was hot and it left a mark on your ear.

"I was just waiting for you to greet everyone. Jimin turned out to be faster than me.” Jungkook turned away from your ear. He stayed close, your faces were separated by a few centimeters. Your friend looked you straight in the eyes, you read “Hello” on his lips, and then he leaned down to kiss your cheek. You were as if bewitched. Jungkook smelled like musk mixed with young coconut and alcohol.

You smiled, but it was hysterical. Your heart was pounding. Jungkook was so damn handsome. He was dressed in black jeans with holes and a black t-shirt that fit his figure perfectly. The piercings on the eyebrow and lip reflected the light of the neon lights.

"Jungkook go home. It's too late." You also bent down to tell friend that it was time to gather. At that moment, Jimin landed next to you, he also smelled of alcohol. They must have all had a good drink here.

"Honey, how are you? I haven't seen you for a long time!" Jimin put his hand on your knee. It didn't escape Jungkook's eyes. He tensed.

“Actually, Jimin-shi, I came here for Jungkook. He has important business tomorrow, and he's still here. I have to pick him up." You turned to Jimin so that it would be better to have a conversation. Jimin's hand remained on your knee.

"Oh yes, he said something like that. An interview or something." You shook your head affirmatively. "He came here in his car. He didn't even plan to drink at first." You were surprised, he remembered that he had an important business tomorrow and got drunk anyway. You couldn't help but notice a strange trend in Jungkook's behavior. He behaved irresponsibly, maybe something happened and you don't know about it. You were going to talk to your friend on the way home.

While you were talking to Jimin who still had his hand on your knee, you didn't notice Jungkook looking at you. He didn't like where Jimin was holding hands, and he couldn't say why. The tension that arose in the middle made Jungkook want to drink again. He poured himself a glass of whiskey and drank it in one gulp. Jungkook felt the alcohol burn his throat and for a second it muted the intense irritation.

Jungkook stood up and looked at you. You and Jimin turned to your friend at the same time.

"Let's go home Y/N" Jungkook said. You stood up next and nodded your head.

"Okay guys have fun. Jungkook and I really need to go." You said to Jimin and Taehyung, who was also looking at all of you. You hugged Taehyung again and then Jimin. For a brief moment that you were hugging a friend, you had no idea what kind of picture was behind you. Jimin had a big smile and looked at Jungkook who was angry with him. Jimin was amused by this situation. Someone is very jealous of their best friend. Jimin raised his eyebrows as if to ask “Is something wrong?”, but he was met with a hard smile that twisted his best friend's lips. Jimin could only wonder what that could mean.

You finally turned away from Jimin and you and Jungkook left the nightclub.

You two hardly spoke on the way to Jungkook's car. The only thing is that you asked where the car was and Jungkook said that it was in the parking lot.

Jungkook looked sullen. Carefully glancing at him, you noticed that his eyebrows were converged on the forehead. Why is his infusion like this?

Jungkook's Mercedes was parked not far from the parking lot exit. When you got to the car Jungkook unlocked it and gave you the keys. You got behind the wheel and your friend sat next to you.

While you adjusted the seat and steering wheel for herself, Jungkook reached for something in the back seat. He leaned towards you so that it was convenient to get what was lying behind. You started the engine and after adjusting the steering wheel, you noticed Jungkook leaning into your seat. Without thinking, you turned to see what he was doing and found yourself close to his face again. You froze.

"What are you doing?" You asked.

"I want to get something out of the back seat." Jungkook says. You and your friend look into each other's eyes until he finally gets what he's been chasing. In his hand you see an electronic cigarette. You frown.

"Seriously Jeon Jungkook?!" You say, looking at the thing in his hand. "Now an electronic cigarette?"

"Something is wrong?" Asks your friend and inhales smoke. You stare at your friend for a few seconds. He does not notice your look he continues to smoke and seems to like it very much. At some point, Jungkook notices that in the car has become very quiet, and when he turns back to you, he encounters a judgmental look of you.

"What?" Jungkook asks again and you can feel the irritation in his voice. You want to say that you are annoyed by his behavior, but instead you just look away and drive away.

You are silent again, Jungkook continues to smoke. Your mood is bad, and the reason for that lies to the right of you. You are in some sense disappointed by your friend's behavior. He is a good athlete who has great achievements in his career and can reach even greater heights. But ruining your career with nightclubbing, alcohol and cigarettes, what could be more terrible? Jungkook has changed, you don't recognize him at all.

The window on Jungkook's side is open, and when the air rushes into the car, you catch the smell of banana smoke. After a while Jungkook turns on the music out of boredom. You just silently watch his actions. He flips through the radio stations and can't find anything suitable. In the end, he stops at some station that plays rhythmic hip-hop. Jungkook likes the music and turns it up, then louder until some stupid song is shouts at the whole car. Jungkook sings and dances along. Your nerves give up. With one sharp movement, you make quieter. Jungkook looks at you as if he just realized that you are near.

"You shouldn't listen to music so flexibly. We can be fined by the police." You say, hiding the terrible irritation inside.

"I do not care." Jungkook says lazily. He tries to make music loud again, but you reach the button first.

"We won't listen to music now." and you turn off the radio altogether. Jungkook is stunned for a moment, and then a small laugh escapes his lips.

“What happened Y/N, why so angry? Hasn't anyone fucked you in a long time?" - You felt feeling as if you were punched in the stomach. It was as if a current passed through the body. You grabbed the steering wheel. But before you can answer anything, Jungkook is ahead of you.

“Oh, how could I forget? No one fucked you at all! But don't worry my Dear, sooner or later it will happen. And you will stop getting angry at all." You turn sharply to the side and park. You start shaking all over. What is this man thinking? How dare he talk to you like that?

“What the hell? How are you talking to me?" Are you yelling at Jungkook. He looks at you but you are ready to just kill him.

"What did I say?" Jungkook says calmly. He seems to feel no guilt behind him.

“Do you have any problems Jungkook? Why do you speak so rudely to me?"

"I don't have any problems, Dear. Why did you assume that they are?" Jungkook smiles smugly. He's probably having a lot of fun now, but you're not into jokes now.

"Your jokes are not funny at all and stop acting like shit!" You say, trying to calm down.

"But it was not a joke. If a girl is angry, she either wants sex or is having critical days. It's one of two" Jungkook says.

"Of course, I forgot how experienced you are in the affairs of women and their behavior." You sneer.

"If you want, I can quench your anger. Or you can ask Jimin if you want. I think he will not mind helping you." You try to analyze Jungkook's words. Why is Jimin here at all? And then it's like the last puzzle has been completed in your head. Could it be that your best friend made jealous you to Jimin? Or what can justify his sharp bad mood and these annoying words about help?

"Jeon Jungkook is you in your right mind? Have alcohol and cigarettes replaced your common sense?" You say. Now Jungkook was staring at you. A tense silence fell between you.

"My mind is fine." Suddenly he starts. "I see what I say. Jimin seems interested in you." You are shocked at what this conversation has come to. Jungkook keeps his eyes on you. He is interested in following your reaction.

"I don't understand what you're talking about at all. Jimin don't interest in me, he's just friendly." You assume.

"Of course he will be friendly. How will he drag you to bed then?" You don't understand how this conversation reached the point where Jimin wants to drag you to bed. You didn't know what to say. You ran a hand through your hair, thinking of what to say to Jungkook. He kept his eyes on you at that time. You couldn't know what was going on in his head. How could you know that your friend wants to be the guy who will have you in bed?

You exhaled heavily and started the engine.

“Jungkook, I don't understand why you think that, but it's not true. Jimin and I are just friends. If he behaves suspiciously, it is only because he is friendly. Why is a friendly gesture for you men an invitation to bed?" You said, and caught yourself thinking that you were making excuses. "Why do you care anyway? Even if he wants something with me, so what? It’s any difference to you?". Jungkook is silent. He is in no hurry to answer. Having chosen the right words, he answers.

"So there is a difference to me." He says. You feel discomfort inside again.

"Which one?" You ask briefly and try to give firmness to your voice.

"You shouldn't be dating any of my friends!"

"What does it mean??" You squeak.

"It means what I said. You can't meet my friends." Jungkook inhales the smoke of the electronic cigarette again.

"Don't you think, Jungkook, that you have no right to say such words. When you say something like that, you have to give an argument!" You start to get angry again. Why does he think that he has the right to permission or not allow to meet with someone?!

"You're my friend and they shouldn't lay their damn hands on you." You can hear Jungkook getting angry. This is the first time you see your friend like this. Angry and irritated as if someone touched his personal things. But you are not his personal thing.

"Hey friend, I'm not your personal thing. So don't act like that. And I will decide on the have or not relationship with your friends myself! You can't to object me!"

Jungkook doesn't answer and you drive the rest of the way in complete silence.

After some time, you find yourself in the parking lot of the complex where his house is located. Your mood was damn bad. Usually, spending time with Jungkook is the best part of your day, but it wasn't today. The tense silence that was the rest of the way exhausted you. You wanted to leave Jungkook and go home as soon as possible. You scrolled through your conversation with him over and over again. He's kind of weird today and he's freaking you out.

You parked the Mercedes and turned off the engine. There was no desire to talk to Jungkook at all. You grabbed your phone to order an Uber.

Jungkook noticed what you were doing.

"Why are you ordering a taxi? Are you going to go back to the club?" You hear sarcasm from Jungkook's lips.

"I will go home. And maybe to the club, who knows?" You say with the same sarcasm. You continue to enter your home address as the phone slips out of your hands and into Jungkook's hands.

"You're not going home tonight." He says, holding the phone above his head. A new surge of anger arose in you.

“Jungkook don't make me nerves. Because I'm already so angry. Give me the phone, I'll order a taxi and go."

"You won't go home anyway. It's too late, you're spending the night at my place." You watch as Jungkook hides your phone in the back pocket of his black jeans.

"I don't want to be with you even a second longer. That's why I won't spend the night at your place!" You say indignantly and cross your arms and sit up straight. "You told me all sort of shit and now you're trying to worry?" You see Jungkook approaching you and in a moment he is so close that you forget how to breathe. One of his hands grabs the seat next to your face and the other is not far from your thighs.

"You shout too often and too loudly today. Should I close your mouth?". Jungkook looks at you first and then shifts his gaze to your lips. Your heart beats somewhere in your throat and you feel how in the car getting hot. You absolutely do not know what to do. Suddenly Jungkook laughs. His light laugh, which sounds like a bass, is reflected in every cell of your body.

“You look so scared. Honey, I'm not going to hurt you!" His voice becomes softer, and you suddenly gain courage.

"I'm just confused. You caught me off guard." You say, and your eyes also fall on his lips. You forgot that a few moments ago you were angry with him. One of his looks annoyed you, and now in the middle you feel only a strong attraction to your friend. The picture that you have imagined many times is literally right now in front of you.

"You're staying with me for the night and that's non-negotiable." Jungkook says it, still close to your face.

"You will have to make me stay. Because I do not want to!" You annoy Jungkook. You feel arousal from his close contact and a desire arises in the bottom of your stomach. You clench your hips to ease the sensation. And of course it doesn't escape your friend's eyes. He lowers his eyes to your thighs for a moment and a smug smile graces his already handsome face.

"My girl wants me to make her stay?" Jungkook almost moans these words into your lips, his hand ends up on your thigh. He runs his hand under your skirt and stops at your panties. You instinctively spread your legs. “I know a good way,” Jungkook says, and then his lips cover yours. You smell alcohol and sweet banana. His hand moves down to your clit and he feels how wet you are.

"So damn wet already." - He whispers, pulling away from your lips for a second. You can't think about anything but Jungkook's soft lips on yours and his hand that has already penetrated the fabric of your underwear. You moan from the pleasure gifted of your best friend. Jungkook likes this, so he deepens the kiss by sliding his tongue into your mouth. The kiss turns out to be so passionate that your head literally spins. Jungkook sticks his tongue out and traces the contours of your lips, as if he's trying to memorize every inch of your body.

"I've wanted this for so long." Jungkook admits. You wanted this too for a long time. You feel butterflies in your stomach at his words. Did your friend really want you all this time? You want to ask him how it happened, but his fingers end up on your clit. You shudder at the new sensation. Jungkook breaks the kiss. He's still close to your face, and you don't open your eyes, holding back the pleasure you didn't know before.

"Would you see yourself now, Heart? So red and beautiful. Do you like what I do?" Jungkook's voice makes you even more excited. You want more, but you don't understand how it should be. Jungkook is still waiting for your answer as he continues to circle your center, kissing your neck at the same time. You seem to be in seventh heaven with happiness. You couldn't even imagine how skillfully Jungkook was able to bring pleasure.

“Say it my dear. Say what you like when your best friend finger fucks you." You try to squeeze the answer out of yourself.

"Yes" Your words sound more like a moan than an answer. But for Jungkook, it was more than he wanted to hear. He returns to your lips and captures them again. He immediately sticks his tongue in your mouth and kisses you to the point of unconsciousness. You shiver a little with pleasure and as soon as you think you should come Jungkook takes my finger away. You open your eyes and meet his. You want to protest, but instead you see his smile and suddenly panic.

"Let's go to the apartment, dear. It is not very comfortable here. I want to enjoy you completely and for that you have to be naked." You still feel excited, but Jungkook's words make you blush. You are embarrassed by the fact that you just moaned at his actions. Jungkook adjusts the skirt of your dress and kisses your swollen lips briefly.

He gets out of the car first and rushes to your door. You smooth your hair and feel how you are shaking all over. What just happened? And what will happen next?

Jungkook opens the door from your side and holds out his hand. You take your things and put your hand in his. The sound of locks is heard, which informs that the car is locked. Jungkook leads you to the door that leads to the hall of his house.

You feel panic cover you. You can't sleep with your best friend. Even with your feelings, you feel that this should not happen. If you do that, you won't be able to be friends anymore because you know Jungkook isn't interested in a serious relationship. You are also afraid of the fact that it will be the first time for you. You wouldn't admit to anyone that you wanted Jungkook to be your first husband, but now you've lost all confidence.

Behind the crazy thoughts in your head, you don't notice how you have already found yourself near the elevator and it has arrived. The door opened with a characteristic sound. Jungkook led you inside. He presses the button for the 14th floor and the elevator moves, and at that moment you are already pressed against the wall. Jungkook presses his big muscular body against you. He kisses you desperately again and you can't help but respond. But some inner feeling tells you to stop him. Jungkook's hands roam your body again. One of his hands is on your ass and squeezing it.

“You are so damn beautiful. I want to fuck you until the end." Jungkook says. You feel his bulge pressing against your pubic bone.

The elevator stops on the floor you need and Jungkook reluctantly breaks away from you and takes your hand again and leads you to the door of his apartment.

The moment the two of you were inside, Jungkook lost control of himself. He grabbed your bag and threw it somewhere to the side, then he pounced on you with a kiss. He pressed your body to his. You felt again that you should tell Jungkook that you both can't do it. You tried to break the kiss but your friend wouldn't let you.

"Jungkook-ah" You were finally able to tear yourself away from him. At the same time, he continued to cover your neck with kisses. "Jungkook wait a minute." You said grabbing his shoulders. You tried to stop him.

“I can't wait any longer Y/N. I waited too long to do this to you.” Jungkook admits. You cannot believe his words. You thought you were the only one who wanted something like that between you. But with such statements, you feel that you cannot cross the line.

“Jungkook, honey listen.” You began to struggle in his steel grip. "We shouldn't do this!"

"Why not? We both want it! So why can't we have sex?” Jungkook says. He's still holding you close, but he's stopped kissing you.

"Jungkook, if we sleep over we can't be friends." You say desperately.

"Why?" He asks.

"Because..." You want to confess your feelings to him, but you are afraid. If you say that you are in love with him, then your friendship is definitely gone. "Because Jungkook, friends aren't supposed to sleep with each other." You telling untruth.

"You're wrong. Friends can have sex. Have you heard anything about "friends with benefits?" He smiles but you don't laugh. You raise your eyebrows.

“I don't want to be friends with benefits. This is not for me Jungkook.” While you say his big eyes run over your face. Jungkook feels a slight disappointment. He lets you go and takes a few steps back. You look at him and already regret what you said. When Jungkook pulled away from you, you felt like you lost something.

"Shit!" Your friend is quarreling. He rakes his hair back and takes another step back. "So I'm really just a friend for you?" Jungkook asks. "Then why did you answer my kisses?" You are silent, unable to answer anything. You lower your eyes unable to stand his gaze. “Y/N I don't understand you.” Jungkook suddenly says. "I know you like me, but you don't want anything to do with me?" You are stunned. You look up at him and see his face radiating anger.

“So you know? Who told you?"

"No one told me, I just noticed it. And noticed a long time ago." Jungkook says.

"Noticed? Could you be wrong?” You try to understand what in your behavior could lead him to such thoughts.

"Since that meeting the day before Choseok." Jungkook started. "When I saw you, I couldn't believe my eyes. You became so beautiful and attractive that I could hardly stop myself from staring at you. I usually do this before you see it. When we were kids, I didn't even pay attention to you, even though all my friends just told me I was stupid for just being friends with you. For me, you were just a sister, but you changed a lot during the years that we didn't communicate. And I really don't understand why I didn't notice how attractive you are." Jungkook started to move in your direction, and you stood under the wall and could not believe your ears. "Then in the cafe, when we talked and you said that you were a virgin, I took it as a sign that you should be mine. I've wanted you Y/N ever since. I invited you to the party then because I wanted to sleep with you." Jungkook is already close to you again, he smiles remembering that day. “I was so sure that it would cost me nothing to drag you to bed, but you turned out to be so untouchable. I remember how you stayed away from me then, as if you felt that if you give me even the slightest hint, I will do something to you."

"No! That's not why I stayed away from you." You say and your voice is hoarse.

"It does not matter. It doesn't matter anymore. Would you know how many times I tried to get close to you and you didn't seem to notice me. I know you like me, your behavior says it. You run literally at my every whim." Jungkook puts his hand on your face and strokes it.

"It does not. I don't follow any whim of yours." You say and you are starting to feel sick from what you are going through.

"I don't understand one thing. If you like me, why don't you want me?" He asks. You are silent, you don't know what to say. Jungkook admitted that he likes you, so why can't you? Something inside of you doesn't give you the right to allow something more to happen but you wanted it the most in the world, right from the moment you met Jungkook on the eve of Choseok. Jungkook lengthens his caress on your cheek, gently and slowly, this action seems to hypnotize you. His finger seems so soft and gentle.

There is absolute silence between you. The only thing that disturbs it is the sounds coming from the street. Jungkook is the first to break the long silence.

“Y/N” his finger still caressing your cheek. "Just tell me do you want it to happen?" You know exactly what he is talking about, your heartbeat becomes frantic again. "If you don't want it, I won't lay even a finger on you anymore. I will do everything as if what happened in the car never happened." Jungkook is too close. Only a few centimeters separate you. You smell his hot breath that smells of alcohol and something sweet, you wonder for a second how much he drank today, usually Jungkook needs to drink a lot to be very drunk, he is very resistant when it comes to alcohol. You feel the warmth of his body next to you. You are intoxicated by his closeness. His voice is so low and gentle at the same time. You look up at Jungkook and meet his gaze. His brown eyes seem just black in the darkness of the apartment. You look at them and you can't take your eyes off of him. You see desire and hope in his eyes. You understand that you gave up a long time ago. You know Jungkook got you in that unfortunate car. You can't refuse him because you want to sleep with him just as much. You want to know what he can do to you.

You want to drink. You need to relax, and alcohol will do that quickly. Because unlike Jungkook, you get drunk quickly. Maybe strong alcohol will also give you the desired bravery in front of Jungkook.

"Do you have anything to drink?" You say without answering Jungkook's question. His eyebrow goes up at the words, Jungkook looks at you with interest. But suddenly he giggles lightly.

“Yes, I have. What would you like, Heart?" Jungkook's voice is playful.

"Let's drink something strong." You suggest. You smiling. He reluctantly lets you go for and heads for the kitchen.

You weren't at Jungkook's house very often. Usually you two spent time somewhere in clubs, cafes, sometimes at festivals. Jungkook always ended up at your house. It could have been an impromptu party, after which he stayed the night, or he just came to visit, stayed until late and you worried about him and offered to stay. There were many times when Jungkook stayed at your place for the night.

Jungkook's apartment was in an upscale area of Seoul. She was gorgeous in a nice light yellow/brown color. His kitchen and living room were a large common room. It was quite nice and comfortable. A small table was located in front of the large sofa, which stood behind the cooking surface. You immediately guessed where Jungkook usually ate, of course when he ate at home. But he did it not often. His apartment was large, from the living room you could get into several more rooms, into the toilet and bathroom and into the bedroom. Jungkook also had a separate room with a gym and a dressing room.

Every time you were in his apartment, you looked around. Because you constantly came across some new interesting things that Jungkook owned. It could was a new guitar or drumsticks. Or some strange statue, or for example, some lamps. Today you wandered with your eyes in search of new objects, but without success. Nothing new caught your eye.

You sat down on the couch and waited for Jungkook. After a while he returned with two broad glasses and a bottle of whiskey. Your friend put the glasses on the table and sat down next to you. Jungkook sat down very close, your thighs touching each other. He poured strong alcohol and handed you one of the glasses filled with liquid. You silently took it and raised it to your lips.

Jungkook kept his eyes on you. He also raised the glass to his lips and drank the honey-colored drink in one gulp. You drank not all, but only half. The alcohol burned your throat. You grimaced from the taste. Jungkook kept looking at you. In fact, he was burning with the thought that he wanted to touch you. He wants to see what is hidden under your soft purple dress. He looked down at your legs and ran his eyes from your feet to where your skirt started. He was attracted by your bare legs, he wanted to explore every centimeter of your body with his own hands.

Your head started to spin and the alcohol started to relax you almost instantly. You finished the rest of the whiskey in the second gulp.

"Do you want another drink?" Jungkook asked. Without thinking long, you handed him your empty glass. You desperately want to push obsessive thoughts out of your head. Jungkook laughs at your desire to drink, he knows that you don't drink strong alcohol at all. He pours you more.

“You have to be careful Y/N. You get drunk quickly, but I still wanted to hear the answer to my question." Jungkook hands you a glass and turns to you to see you better. You take another glass and take a small sip. The taste of whiskey is really terrible, but that's what you need right now. You finish the second glass and feel that this will probably be enough. Jungkook returned to his question. You have long known what to answer him. Jungkook doesn't drink anymore, he drank today enough and doesn't want to anymore. All he wants is to hear permission from your lips.

“Yes, Jungkook,” you say, feeling the alcohol envelops your body. All the thoughts that previously forbade you to do anything left your head. You see no reason to give up on Jungkook now. "I want this!" Your voice trembles.

Your words echo in a beautiful melody to Jungkook's ears. So! This is what he expected to hear. He didn't even doubt for a faked second that you would say that. He doesn't need to hear anything else. He wants you as soon as possible.

Jungkook moves closer to you and leans in for a kiss. When his lips touch yours, fireworks explode inside you. This feeling comes every time Jungkook kisses you. He deepened the kiss with his tongue and you noted that no one who had kissed you before had used their tongue as skillfully as Jungkook.

"Sit on my lap." He said when he pulled away from your lips. You were stunned for a moment, but Jungkook grabbed your arm and pulled you towards him. You sat on him. He slipped his hands under your dress and left them on your buttocks. He looked at you with eyes full of desire, his smile on his lips said that he got what he wanted.

One of his hands moved from your buttocks to your wet underwear. He found your clit and ran his finger over it a few times. The movement made you wanted more. You bit your lip to keep from moaning out loud.

"You don't need to restrain yourself, Heart. I want to hear your voice." Jungkook whispers. He kisses your neck, you feel yourself falling apart. His kisses send ants all over your body.

You feel how much Jungkook wants you. His bulge presses well against you, at some point you start rocking on his hips to quell the feeling that gathered in you below. Jungkook grabs your buttocks with both hands and helps you with the rhythm. You moan in pleasure.

"You are my good girl. I want to see you!" Jungkook says. He grabs the skirt of your dress and carefully pulls your entire outfit over your head. Now you're sitting on his lap in a bra and, soaked through. You like his eyes so much that look at you with absolute lust. Jungkook wastes time in freeing you from your bra, and when he takes it off you feel a sense of relief. You see his eyes staring into your chest and you smile. It feels like he's seeing a woman's breasts for the first time.

His member hardens even more from he saw. Jungkook gently touches one of your breasts with his hand and squeezes it. You feel a surge of desire. He leans down to your chest and takes one of your nipples in his mouth. At first it feels like a kiss and then he starts sucking it. He sticks his tongue out and circles your bud a few times before sucking again. You look down on him and think that you can only come from these actions of his. Jungkook does the same thing with your second nipple as he did with the first. You moan unable to hold back the pleasure as you continue to rock on Jungkook's hips.

He wants to get rid of these tight pants. It even hurts from the fact that you started to rock at him more intensively. His jeans were soaked with your juice and his own cum, which was coming out more and more with your movements. He thought for a second that he could cum just from the sight of your bare breasts and the intense movements that you didn't even think to stop. Jungkook thought he couldn't take it anymore and he needed to push his cock inside you as soon as possible.

You kissed Jungkook, wanting to feel his sweet lips again, when suddenly he stopped you. You were slightly sweaty and noticed the beads of sweat covering Jungkook's forehead.

"Honey, I'm going to fuck you! Because if you keep rocking on my hips like this I can't stand it!" He says. You don't even have time to think what he means as you are already on your back. Jungkook towers over you, pulling off his t-shirt. You feast your eyes on his body. He is so perfect that he can be compared to the Greek God. You didn't even notice that Jungkook was fully clothed all this time. You felt so vulnerable in front of him.

"Are you ready?" Jungkook asks. He keeps his hands on the belt of his pants. You lower your eyes there and see how his cock protrudes through his jeans. You are a little afraid to see him with your own eyes, but the desire to feel him cock in yourself is stronger. You reach for his belt and unbuckle it.

"I'm ready," you say.

"Okay my girl. But first you need to get used to my size. So first I will insert my fingers into you so that you get used to the feeling. The first time is usually painful." Jungkook says with concern. "But don't worry. I'll be very gentle with you." He promises. You smile

"Thank you" is all you say. Jungkook gets off of you and pulls off your pants, leaving you in nothing but Calvin Klein boxers.

He drops to one knee above you, and keeps the rest of his body weight on the other leg that is on the floor. He carefully grabs the elastic bands of your panties and pulls them down without much haste. Your breathing quickens. Now you are completely naked in front of Jungkook.

His gaze wanders all over your body. Jungkook couldn't help but think that the picture in his head was exactly what he had imagined since that very day. Since that meeting on the eve of Choseok. He imagined more than once how you lay naked in front of him. He lingers own eays on your pussy. You feel the heat spread throughout your body at Jungkook's gaze.

"Are you going to stare much longer?" You ask, unable to stand his gaze. Jungkook laughs and then leans into you. He leans down so low that your noses are touching.

"I have to remember this moment in all its glory." He says. "Can't I admire you?" Jungkook kisses you passionately and very intensely again. "You are so beautiful," he whispers into your lips. You feel his hot breath burning your swollen lips. And then you feel how he inserts his finger into you. You feel something new. It's not like a similar feeling when he starts to move it inside you. Jungkook is still very close to your face. He enjoys you look.

His finger moves smoothly inside you. You feel much not pressure on your walls. After a while Jungkook inserts a second finger into you and the pressure increases. The movements become faster and you think you like what Jungkook is doing. You close your eyes with pleasure. A soft moan escapes your lips. Jungkook showers your neck with kisses. Finally, he inserts the third finger into you, behind which a slight note of pain is felt. But it's not unpleasant. Jungkook moves his fingers inside you, thus stretching your entrance.

“So wet for me” Jungkook whispers in your ear. "You ready to accept me, aren't you?" You are ready for this. Jungkook is very good with his fingers. His movements give you incredible pleasure, but you still wonder how it feels to feel his member inside you. You are unable to answer something specific. You just start moaning louder, trying to let him know that you are ready.

Jungkook pulls his fingers out of you and you regret that he did. You want him to never stop doing it. You open your eyes and see him licking his fingers that were inside you a few moments ago. You don't know how to react to such a gesture. Jungkook sees your reaction and smiles.

"You are such a sweet. Did you know about it?"  You are ashamed of such a compliment. “Next time I want to fully enjoy you and try you. But now I want to be inside you.” Jungkook gets off you and takes off his boxers. His big cock is already so hard. You can't stop looking at him, and you're a little scared because he's so big. You don't know if it's good or bad. You heard how the girls at work sometimes joked about this topic and it was like it was good. But you have heard more than once that if the penis is too big, it can be painful.

Jungkook rushed to you. He climbed on top, picking up your legs so that they bent at the knees. He rested his cock against your entrance and leaned into you again.

"Don't be nervous my good girl. I promised to be gentle with you." It’s hard for you to control yourself, but you tried.

"I trust you completely Jungkook" You confidently say! Jungkook kissed your lips to calm you down, and then he took his cock in his hand and pressed it against your entrance.

Inch by inch Jungkook slowly filled you with his cock. And as soon as he sank completely, you felt a strong pressure on your walls. Of course you were hurt. But the pain almost immediately disappeared against the background of a still unknown sensation. It wasn't like that when Jungkook moved his fingers into you.

He stopped as soon as he was fully inside you, allowing you to get used to the new sensation. He leaned into you again kissing your lips quickly. It he just touched your lips as if calming you down.

"Are you all right?" He asked gently.

"Yeah, I'm fine!" You told the truth. As soon as the pain subsided you thought that you liked the way Jungkook was filling you up. After waiting a little longer, he began to carefully move his hips. You gasped from the pain that came with every movement, but later it was replaced by pleasant sensations. Jungkook carefully moved back and forth finding your G spot. He tried to be as careful as possible so his movements were smooth and not too forceful. Jungkook liked rough sex, but it wasn't going to happen today. Maybe when you are ready a little later he will show you all the beauty of rough sex. So he was already thinking about what he would do to you in the other times.

"You are so tight, my girl. So damn tight!" Jungkook let out a groan. He began to move more intensively, you felt an unknown pleasure. You didn't feel any more pain. You closed your eyes again and your lips parted to let the pleasure be heard through your moans. Jungkook was finally giving you pleasure, he couldn't help but feel relieved.

Jungkook's hands are on either side of your face. He was hanging over you breathing heavily. You were also breathing hard. Your bodies moved in time with each other. You wrapped your arms around Jungkook's shoulders, leaning down to let your bodies snuggled up. Jungkook wanted to kiss you again. He ran his tongue into your mouth as soon as your lips met. He moaned from the feeling that your tight pussy gave him. He kissed you passionately, and you kissed him back. Your hands plunged into his black locks. Even now you couldn't help but think about you, how soft they are to the touch. Jungkook ended the kiss by biting your bottom lip, tasting your soft flesh.

He finally let go of your lips, instead he wanted to leave a mark on you now. He dug into your neck, sucking on the skin. You liked the slight pain that accompanied those kisses.

Jungkook continued to kiss you as his thumb found your clit. He pressed it lightly and then began to caress it in circular motions, never stopping to move inside you.

"Shit..." you breathed out with a groan. "Jungkook I'm so close." Hearing what you said, he started to move faster.

"Come on girl. Do It. Come." Jungkook says. And after his words, you felt your whole body sink into bliss. A feeling of pleasure spread throughout your body. You screamed unable to hold it in. Jungkook continued to fuck you, intending to cum as well. He felt so good about you that he thought he would finish much earlier than you, but he was able to hold on. And when he reached his own climax, you felt his hot sperm inside you, filling you. His cock twitched inside you releasing his cum. Jungkook was saying swear words that somehow reflected his own pleasure.

When Jungkook stopped twitching inside you, his cock went limp and he was in no hurry to pull it out of you. Jungkook leaned down on top of you finding your lips again. He kissed you gently while breathing heavily. Your eyes met after he stopped kissing you.

"Are you okay?" He asked immediately. You tried to hold your breath.

"Everything is fine," you said and smiled. Jungkook smiled back. He carefully got out of you and sat next to you. You tried not to think about what just happened.

“Y/N you bled a little blood.” He said putting his hand on your thigh. You got up. You wanted to cover yourself, but all your clothes were on the floor.

Jungkook was following you.

"Oh, it's okay." You say. "It should be." You look up at Jungkook and see that he is looking at you. A slight smile on his lips.

"Do you want to take a shower?" He asks. You are shy because you notice how he is looking at you.

"That's how I would like it."

"Do you want to go alone or should I join you?" Jungkook leans towards your lips, but doesn't kiss. Your heart beats faster.

"I think I should go myself." You say awkwardly, thinking about what might happen in the bathroom again, but you are not ready for it.

"As you like Heart." Jungkook stands up and walks over to his boxers lying near the sofa. You stare at him unable to get used to Jungkook's naked body. "Do you like what you see?" He suddenly says. Not expecting to hear any question from him, you shudder and quickly look away. Jungkook laughs. He pulls on his boxers and come to you. He kneels next to you, cupping your face in his hands. "I'm really very handsome, you shouldn't look away." You look at each other and then Jungkook kisses you. A strange thought runs through his head: "I just fucked her, and I don't understand how I can want her again so quickly." You broke the kiss. In fact, you were already short of air and your lips were already swollen from frequent kisses.

You walked into the bathroom holding the clothes Jungkook had given you a minute ago. You felt your whole body ache, especially there. You put your things on the counter and went into the shower and turned on the faucet. It was warm enveloping your sweaty body. Standing under the stream of water, you thought about everything that had happened. You felt bad. You had a lot of different thoughts that started to fill your head. How to behave with Jungkook? What is your relationship with him now? You are completely confused. You were nervous and didn't know how to deal with him when you got out of the shower. But Jungkook was so gentle with you that just remembering it gave you butterflies in your stomach. You wanted to run home, but he knows where you live. In reality, all you were afraid of was Jungkook will saying, “I'm sorry but it was only once. I'm sorry that you decided that I want a relationship with you. Let's be friends as before." You were horrified. A plan appeared in your head. When Jungkook goes to wash you have to run.

You just had to drive him home. What...what did you do?

P.C. I hope you give this story a lot of love.

[pbandjesse]

Happy May Day!

I am glad I stayed home today. I still wasn't feeling amazing. But I was able to enjoy my day. Even if I was still nauseous.

I slept alright enough. The new curtain next to my head blocks the light a lot better and while I still woke up, I was able to more easily fall back asleep. I was awake enough to be aware of James saying goodbye. And went back to sleep for an hour.

When I woke up I was a little off. But mostly I was good. I cleaned my face and got dressed. And would just wander around the house for a long time. I spent some time just cleaning up. Putting things away. I tried to vacuum but our vacuum keeps thinking it's jammed. No idea what is up with that. I would change the kitty litter though and Clorox some stuff.

I would spend time with sweetP. Just hanging out. I had egg salad on toast. I would go out to the car to get the last of my car chips. It was beautiful outside but a little hot directly in the sun.

I started working on a little painting project. Sat on the front door step and started laying out the hearts I wanted to paint on the door. The sun was a bit to bright but I have the outlines done. I'll go back in with paint soon.

I came back inside and would hang some stuff in our room. James was going to hang the last panel of wallpaper tonight so that was exciting. The bedroom walls could finally basically be finished. And I am really happy about that. I still would like to get a small rug for the floor but everything else feels really finished and that feels really nice.

We are having our little house warming this weekend and so I want the space to at least have some areas done. And I think we have done a pretty excellent job overall. Like there are still projects for sure but it's coming together and that feels really good.

I spent a long time today working on cleaning out the one fish tank. I might be getting a frog for in there. Haven't 100% decided but I moved out all of the decor and washed the rocks. Took a while but it wasn't to bad. Was nice to try it all clean.

I would answer some work emails. And lay in bed. Lay on the couch. Lay around. I didn't feel amazing. And whenever I tried to do to much I felt sick. But I kept drinking water and trying my best to be okay.

I remembered that the new labor exhibit was opening at the museum tonight. I very much wanted to go to that and me and James decided I would just meet them there. Felt like a good plan.

I had a phone meeting today with Salvatore from the national guard and it went really well. He seems really sweet. Retired military, daughter in the girl scouts, loves working with the kids. They want to get me in the schedule for sometime in July and then again in the fall. Excellent. I love working with the national guard kids so I really hope we can continue this going forward.

After my phone meeting I would catch up on April's knitting. I still need to sew down thr edges but the last 11 days I was missing is done. And I can start May. That took a while though. I had put the little screen in the studio window so Sweetp could have somewhere to sit and watch the world and I would knit and listen to a video. It was nice. I was having fun.

I made a little microwave pizza as a late lunch. And got myself ready to go to the museum. But that would not be my only stop.

My first stop was Petco. I wanted to look at their frogs and things. This Petco never has a very good selection but it was still fun to look. And I enjoyed seeing different options. I may chose to get a tomato frog? I really would like a turtle but I don't have the infrastructure (or a large enough tank) right now. But maybe that is where I will end up. I'm not in any rush.

I went to the museum next. And was very excited to see Jessica because she just announced today that she's pregnant with baby number 2!! So excited for her. It was also just really nice to see everyone else.

After giving James many hugs I went to go get a drink and ran into Margaret. Who asked if we could talk on the phone tomorrow because there has been discussion about brining me on part time to help run events. This is an amazing opportunity for me. It would be flexible hours, a pay increase, and I would get to be doing something I really enjoy! And as my grant position at camp comes to an end this would just be really great. A next step, somewhere I already love.

I would also go and find Jesse to talk to him so I wasn't going into the conversation with Margaret blind. He gave me some ideas of what to negotiate for, when I could actually start (immediately), and how Meril would also be in on this. And honestly the three of us would be such an amazing dream team the museum wouldn't know what hit it. I really hope this works out.

I really also just enjoyed talking to people. About our trip. And seeing the new exhibit! Which I think was done so well. I already know a lot about union history, but seeing more contemporary and Baltimore specific stuff was awesome. And the layout and design choices were great. I really enjoyed it.

I would hang out at the desk with James. I got some food and would watch the desk while James got some too. And it was just good. People watching. Chatting with friends and guests. It was a good night.

I was excited to come home though. A little later then I had thought but that's okay.

When we got home I would go and change. I watched my frog tank for a while and actually saw my loach. No omelet sightings today but I did see him yesterday. I also moved the very hearty snail from the other tank to this tank and I hope he's as strong in here as he has been in the other.

James is in our room hanging the last piece of wallpaper. It wasnt going super well and I left the room because I thought I wasn't being helpful just sitting there writing this. But I am going to go check on them now before I take a shower and we get ready for bed. It has been a long day. But I am feeling a little better. Still not great but not as perilously bad.

Tomorrow I have a feild trip and it's the brave bee program. I really like that one. And then I have my phone meeting with Margaret. And me and Celia just made plans to go to the Dutch market after work. I am looking forward to the day. I hope the heat is t to bad and I'm not nauseous anymore.

Wish me luck and good vibes. I love you all. Goodnight!

[dybdahltravels2022]

London

October 6, 2022

How and why we waited until we were 70 years old to visit London is a huge question for me. BUT we are finally here and no surprise - WE LOVE IT!

We arrived from Dublin on September 30 and opted for an iconic black cab from the airport.

It was pricey but we enjoyed talking to the driver who explained that the cabbies own their own vehicle but must attend lengthy classes and pass a comprehensive test before being licensed to be a cabbie in London. That test includes being given several pairs of addresses and having to map out the best route on the spot - no GPS. He impressed us by telling us that there was a really great bakery just a block of so away from our flat - long before we got there.

Oh - then our flat... I knew the location was by a bus stop and a tube station. I knew it was an efficiency with the couch, table and bed in one room. I knew the kitchen contained a full size stove and a washer - a real bonus. I knew the price was more than reasonable. too - so I went with it. What I didn't know is that the location was in a sketchy neighborhood, that the place would be dirty and that it was the least well appointed place we have ever rented. There was one glass - one freaking glass. There were ONLY two crappy towels and not even a hand towel. What we discovered was that the water pressure was also an issue and once the hot water tank was emptied the water just cut out. The high temp on the tank - BTW - was warm.

But despite this - we moved ahead to explore. We found a great Mexican restaurant a couple blocks away, the Tube and Bus stations were nearby as were a couple of nice grocery stores. Although our flat was in a sketchy "hood" just a few blocks away were universities and we realized we had landed in the student ghetto - with a crappy host. Oh well.

Transportation ANYWHERE is a piece of cake. We continue to travel all over London with any combo of Tube Train and double decker busses - another icon of London. If you miss a bus, sit tight as there will be another one arriving within 2 or 3 minutes. They are clean inside and out and either hybrid or electric.

The tube stations are amazing - but most certainly are NOT handicapped assessable - many having no lift or even escalators. London is redoing its Tube Stations one at the time but the renovated stations are fabulous. The Tube Stations are deep and if they connect they are even deeper. Remember these stations served as bomb shelters during WWII. Since I still cannot read - Mark is completely in charge of getting us from point A to point B and I will say he has done a great job.

We have been doing all the touristy stuff - at least superficially. We saw the tower of London but felt no compulsion to go in it.

We saw Westminster and Big Ben and Buckingham Palace - which surprised me.

I thought it was a lot bigger but later I Googled an aerial photo and turns out it IS a lot bigger.

Buckingham Palace sits on a huge plot of land much of which is a park open to the public. The fences and gates are opulent and the side walks are ringed with small black metal posts all marked with this:

Just one of the MANY things that will have to be changed from that to this:

Not to mention ALL the money of the UK and ALL the British commonwealths - like Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Jamaica to mention only a few.. There is a bit of a controversy here about the cost of Queen Elizabeth's funeral - but I'm guessing that will pale with the cost of everything that has to been changed. I think an apostrophe mark and the word "son" would do just fine. King Charles III is not exactly a spring chicken so a LOT OF WORK for a short time is my guess. But this is NOT my decision - thankfully.

We had done a little museum hopping as well. We started in the Museum of London, because we were exploring and saw it. It was truly enjoyable and presented a look at London from ice age times to present. I knew the Romans were here but I thought the entire Roman component was very well done including windows that overlooked the 2000 year old city walls- nice touch.

The most impressive museum we visited was The British Museum the repository of all the ancient artifacts of the world. NOW - I will say that I had a little chip on my shoulder about this museum since when you go to visit the actual sites you will often see a sign indicating that most of the historic artifacts of this area can be seen in London - but I'm feeling better now that I have actually been there.

Apparently in the 1820s when archaeologist were working hard to save things for posterity, many governments could care less. And that was exactly what was happening with areas like Athens - home of the Parthenon - which was ruled by the Ottoman Empire. So certain archeologist sponsored by the British Museum made a deal to haul away these artifacts that people were dragging away to use in their home building. And they have been safe since that time. Slowly items are being returned once the country has demonstrated the ability to protect this artifacts - hence we were able to see in the Parthenon Museum the actual Carotids that lived in the British Museum for almost 200 years. But is still felt wrong to enter this gallery:

This is the actual frieze that surrounded the outside of the Parthenon.

And below is the east pediment:

It did make happy to read on more than one occasion - the head - or arm - or leg - is currently on display at the Acropolis Museum in Athens. (As it should be - I think!)

The Egyptian section is equally magnificent.

This isn't half of what we have done - but I'm going to post as we head out to the theater - again. More on our adventures soon.

Stay tuned

[chanandlersstuff]

The seasons pass and the heartbreak too

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader.

Summary: Life its a funny thing or maybe whats meant to be will find his way back together.

Word count: 1.927

Author’s note: This is the second part from this one and I was thinking that those two deserve some closure, so it will be one more part and that's it. Hope you like it. English is my second language so sorry for the misspellings. The song that inspired this part is "Nineteen" from Dylan, it's really good and some parts of it are on the story.

After leaving Charles at the airport that day, you didn't hear from him anymore until maybe the next year because having almost the same group of friends it was pretty hard not to know about him. One day while you were on a long call with Pierre he told you that he was dating a beautiful girl and that he seemed happy. That instead of breaking your heart completely made you happy because he was happy again. The love you had for him prevented you from being sad about it. Pierre also told you that Charles was having a great season and that also made you happy. Months passed and you didn't hear from him. You were getting better and better at your dream job, becoming more important in the business. The F1 life was little forgotten in your life but always alive in the back of your mind.

Summers, birthdays and seasons passed and Charles was achieving all his F1 goals. One night while having dinner with Pierre in some part of the world talking about life he told him that you were dating some guy and that you were happy. Charles’ fork stopped mid air when he heard the news and to Pierre surprise a smile appeared in his face, a genuine smile. He was happy for you, after all the last time he saw you was nearly three years ago and he didn't hate you, he had incredible affection towards you but that was it. Charles had no love interest in his life anymore but none of that had nothing to do with you.

Sometimes he wondered what were you doing with your life, if you achieved all your dream goals, if you were fine, all that kind of stuff. Even one time he almost dialled your number only to see if you had the same number and if you would answer him but that idea turn into a stupid one the second he almost tuch your contac name. You, on the other hand, while exploring new places or when you saw something that you thought would be fun for him, you couldn’t contain your brain from thinking about him and smiling. His name always on your phone but never used. Happy memories from the time you spend together, while being friends and lovers, no hold grudges.

One day while you were crossing the street, coffee in hand and sunglasses in your eyes, your mind deep down in work, someone shouting your name brought you back to reality and the voice was so familiar. You lowered your sunglasses to see better and when the window car next to you lowered too your heart seems to beat a little slower or everything happens in slow motion. He was there in his matt black Ferrari with the Monaco flag across the car and the 16 on one side. Charles Leclerc in the flesh, shouting your name in the red light of a street. With a smile on your face you walked to the passenger side of the car and you crouched a little to see him better.

-I wasn't entirely sure it was you.- Charles said smiling.

-So you took your chances shouting at me I see.- He nodded and you laughed. -How are you?

-Fine, fine. What about you?- The two of you were smiling like little kids on Christmas night.

-I’m fine too.- Looking at his face you notice that he hasn't changed that much. His face was more mature and his beard from a couple of days the same as you remembered. The honk of other cars brought you back to reality -It was fantastic to see you again but I'm going late to a meeting and those drivers are getting pissed.

He frowned a little and moved his head to see the cars behind him. -Oh. Yes, it was great seeing you again.- He smiled and you smiled back. You straightened and took two steps back. -WAIT.

-¿Yes?- Your voice was sweet.

-You ....eh....we….- You giggle because he was the same nervous Charles you remember when you were little.

-¿Yes Charles?.- He laughed and cleared his throat.

-I was thinking if you could give me your number.- You raised your eyebrows. -To stay in touch I mean, if you want of course.

You smile and from one of the pockets of your bag you pulled out your card. -Gimme a call whenever you want.- Your fingers touch and a familiar, not so forgotten, feeling travels through your bodys. -Bye Charles.

A week later you were walking towards him in whiteh trousers and shoes, a black tank top, sunglasses and hat. The “friendly lunch”, as he said, was in a restaurant in front of the water and the summer in the air made the day perfect. It wasn't a date at all, it was two friends who hadn't seen each other in a while catching up.

With a bottle of water in the middle, because he had to drive and you weren’t going to drink wine alone, the conversation flowed as easy as all those years ago. Laughs that made the stomach hurt and tears appeared in the corner of your eyes while the two of you remembered long time memories and funny histories.

The way he kept switching languages as easy as breathing and the sun that was coming down, illuminated your skin making you glow in his eyes and your smile, gosh it was the brightest smile he'd ever seen. Everything was so easy going and funny, like a picture perfect. As if the two of you have never walked away from your lives, as if you have talked every day for the past few years.

-Do you remember that night when we went to that awful party and we ended up drinking coffee in that spot we used to like so much?- He said when you came down from the laughter.

-It was the same day that your mum almost kill us because we were minor and we stunk at cigarettes?- The scene coming to your brain as it was yesterday and he nodded. -Oh yes, I remember. Some dude spilled his drink in my dress and it had a huge stain on it.

-Yes, that blue dress looked so beautiful on you.- You didn’t remember the color, but apparently Charles did.

-I was a mess Charles.- You tried to argue with him.

-A hot mess.- He said in a low tone hoping, praying that you didn’t hear him but you did and didn't say anything about it trying to not ruin the nice day you were having.

-Do you remember that day you called me late at night to pick you up at that random bar?- You said and he burst into laughter at the memory.

-Oh god yes. I almost came out of that bar crawling and you were there waiting for me in that empty street.- Charles said, scratching his head.

-Were only one streetlight worked properly.- You add in a funny tone.

-You were there with my jacket and two blankets and a worried face.

-Because it was freaking cold, like freezing.- You said laughing and he did too. -I don't remember why you were there and I could bet you don't remember either because you were so drunk that you forgot the reason.

-I remember that the next day I had the worst hangover of my life and I swore that I would never drink that way ever again.- Charles grabbed the glass from the table and drank.

-I remember that you were insufferable the next day, like I couldn't even look your way and you were already whining like a baby.- You said and he laughed.

-And the night you were so stressed about that exam and I told you to run away with me?- You frowned. -That I “kidnapped you” and took you to that little dinner and we stayed there for like 5 hours.- You were smiling but didn't say anything or move an inch. -The dinner that was like from the 70s or 80s, with neon signs and rock music.

You nodded with your head. -Can I be honest with you?- He nodded. -All I saw that night was you and how your eyes seem to change color with the neon lights. He didn't say anything but smiled brightly at you and blushed a little.

If you were honest you remember all too well the things you did together. The little lies to your friends telling you didn't like him when you clearly did, the big fights in those summer days where everything complicated and all the mistakes were made and how he always said “You and I, that’s all the matter. No one else, just you and I” and how he told you “You are the only one I want” when you were agreeing to that strange summer deal.

-Do you remember the day we spent in your granny’s garden looking at the stars in that white old sheet?- You said looking at water.

-Yes, we spent hours talking about our big dreams and desires.- A little silence fell between you two. -I really hope you achieve everything you told me that night.- The fact that he seemed to remember what you told him that night told everything that you needed to know.

-I did, most of them I did. I hope the same for you.

-I achieved some of them and I’m doing others this year.-

But the truth was that both of you made promises and dream things together, thinking that you would stay friends or lovers forever. Always by the other side, cheering their wins and being there when they lost but life wanted other things.

-It seems that we both remember a lot of things from years ago.- You said in a nervous tone trying to cover the inexistent awkward silence.

-Of course I remember. How could I ever forget it.- You tilted your head. -How quickly and hard I fell for you.- His tone was so tender and the smile he was giving you was something from another planet.

-Charles…- You played with the napkin in front of you.

-What? It's true, I was never capable of lying to you and you weren't capable either so tell me what's on your mind.- You stayed in silence for a couple of minutes trying to find sense about them.

-Loving you wasn't a waste. Yes hearts were bruised and mistakes were made but I will do it all the same.- You said and smiled at him.

-I don't.- The look on your face must be a hurt one because he rushed his next words. -Because at the end I lost you, everything we were. Friends, lovers, partners, everything lost for years.

-But we are here now.- You said in a slow tone.

-But for how long?- You opened your mouth to talk but he interrupted you. -A week? Ten days? You are going to get back to your job and I have to get back to race, it's the summer deal all over again. And I do not say this because I want to be your boyfriend again or whatever we have been years ago, I say it because I want my friend back. You know how many times I almost called you to tell you everything that was going on with my life, to tell you that I needed you when shit hit the fan? A thousand times. I do not want you in my life if you are going to be entering or leaving it as if it were a candy store. I want you permanently in it and I want to be in your life in the same way. Be there for you when your work is going well and when you cry from stress like all those years ago but this time physically. I want you here.- At this point he was moving his hands freneticaly and raising his voice a little but the only you could do was looked at him speechless absorving his statement and your stupid heart racing as fast as he drives his car in the weekends.

[mzjmesa]

Out Loud | Chloe Decker

She was a good detective. Is. The pride of the office, the officer praised here and there. Your partner. Your bestfriend. Detective Chloe Decker. It wasn't because of her smart, genius mind that attracted you to her, no. Well, sometimes, anyway. But it could've been alot of reasons, loving Chloe Decker. And you would've loved any other reasons— to make this easier, to make the feelings disappear sooner. Because whatever the attraction was, it was unprofessional— Chloe never did unprofessional. And you fear if you couldn't hold it any longer, she'd run away from you.

You can't bear that.

But you loved Chloe either way. You loved her eyes, her kindness, that bright and knowing smile that goes with her eyes, you loved the way her lips part when she's about to say something defensive— you loved her. You loved her the most when she knocks at your door and asks how you're doing. You loved the late night talks and laughs about freshmen days which was rare, because she never spent so much time in highschool, she got unending stories about it anyway. You loved the way she listens. You loved her. You loved Chloe Decker. And as she passes by your desk, to the man she likes, you reminded yourself that it was wrong. Wrong because you were supposed to be happy for her.

A knock on your desk drifted your thoughts away, Dan. “How are we doing?” he asked, if he'd caught you staring enviously at Chloe and Lucifer, he hadn't mind.

“How are we doing?” You repeated stupidly, still hungover from yesterday. Which by the way was Chloe's fault, you just wouldn't admit it to yourself.

Dan shrugs, “Yeah? I sent you files to look at, remember?”

Oh.

You shake your head as though it would help you focus on the present and tried to remember where you had placed the papers. You checked your drawers, trying hard to block out Chloe and Lucifer's voices. You busied your hand flipping through dozens of papers, vividly remembering the file's name.

Jonathan Flinn's. Ahh. Case closed for 2 months, there wasn't much evidence of the murder, but the majority linked to him, and eventually the court pronounced him guilty. There had been questions left unsolved, and if Espinoza wasn't up to anything, it would've been left at that.

You sighed, “Have you talked to Chloe about this?”

“Yeah,” He looked past your shoulder to where Chloe was, then back to you. “she thinks it's a bad idea.”

Of course she did. You did, too. That was a thing between you two, something about your guts always telling you the same what's what. That's why you were partnered with her, and you would've loved to continue being one (although truth be told, you still were in papers anyway) but she'd found a consultant, a batshit crazy one at that. Lucifer Morningstar. Always telling himself he's the devil, going on and about his everyday life like anyone gives a damn, and always making everything about himself. If he wasn't charming, and a ‘friend’ of Chloe's, you would've hated him. Most times you did. But times when Chloe was down, he was always the first to cheer her up. You used to be the one doing that, until he came.

“You should listen to her, Dan.”

“Oh c'mon! I would've agreed with Chloe and wouldn't have come to you if it weren't so important. His mother is my god—”

“—mother. Yes, yes, I know that, Dan. I know you think this is a good idea to pay her back, too. But it's not, trust me. Trust Chloe.” You exhaled, feeling the weight of her stare on your back. “It could go worst anyway, what when we can't find any evidence or if we do, worst case scenario is it'll only lead to him. Again. We'll just worsen his situation.”

Dan sighed, massaging his jaw with exasperation because he knew you were right. And also because as much as he pretends not to care too much, he does. You loved that about him.

As you heard footsteps behind, you handed back the files to Dan who hid it behind his back, masking his irritation with a smile to Chloe.

You ignored her, lingering your eyes on the missing button of Dan's shirt.

“Ella found some prints, we haven't identified it yet but it's likely our lead.” Chloe started just behind you, and you knew Lucifer was beside her as much as you hated it. “In the meantime, Dan? I'd like to discuss to you about the Flinn case, Lucifer and I went back to the crime scene yesterday. We found nothing.”

Dan frowned. “I thought you said it was a bad idea.”

“I know, I know. I... ugh... well I went over it again, anyway.”

A small smile creeped on his face, and you were almost sure his eyes were watering when Lucifer jumped on the conversation about his father, bla bla bla. You couldn't care less. Chloe did, and that should be enough for Lucifer. She'd always been enough for you. You bit your lips, wishing you could busy your hands with something. Anything. But your desk was on your back, and oh, Chloe, too.

It felt immature and all, but you were hurting just knowing they were together, seeing them would break you.

“I'll check in on with Ella.” Chloe announced, “(Y/N)?”

“Are you having a stroke Miss (L/N)? Staying still like a trained robot, you're scarying me— and believe when I say I rarely get scared.” Lucifer added.

Oh you believe alright. And robots are trained?! Trying to hide your feelings with a forced smile, you turned around, making sure you weren't going to make an eye contact with a certain detective, and immediately grabbed a random paper and pen you can hold— scribbling anything. Anything at all.

“I'm alright.” You answered after a beat or two, still unbothered to look. Who would want to, honestly.

Chloe cleared her throat, whispered something to Lucifer, and then bid goodbye. It was then when you looked at them walking away. Lucifer's hand on her back, Chloe looking small beside him— your chest aching the same, if not, more.

You're definitely not gonna look again.

-

You had a week off work, and you'd almost fell to your knees thanking God when the lieutenant told you. You needed it more than you needed Chloe, which proves just how important it was— Chloe had been. Still is, by the way.

It was 8 am, by now Chloe would be at her desk, examining or making reports, or on a crime scene with Ella and, Lucifer. You snapped out of your mind, reminding yourself you'd needed the vacation because work and particularly Chloe had been stressing you out and very much so hurting you.

You'd hit the beach, go to the mountains for the view,— you didn't wanna hike though, you needed rest not making sweats— visit your sister and niece, and then finally bake while blasting Taylor Swift because admit it or not, you're much broken than your grandmother's vase.

When the water was hot enough, you took a bath and dressed. A peach-colored tank top that comes along with a brown mini skirt and a coat was your outfit for the day. Only, the coat reminded you too much of Chloe's. She liked coats. And that coat, back then warning you that she'd steal it eventually. So you changed with other coats, just didn't fit well with the shirt and skirt, so you gave in and left your hair untouched and untied. Grabbing your pouch and your gun— a licensed one, just in case. And opened your door. You would've preferred the bright sky and fresh air of the morning in LA. But Chloe Decker was standing there, fist on air as if she'd been ready to knock.

You froze.

Were you having a stroke? Most likely.

“(Y/N).”

“Chloe.”

Wasn't she supposed to be at work? You didn't mind either way, but it surprised you still, she hadn't been visiting much since... Lucifer. Everything's just been different since he arrived, not in a good way for you.

You stepped aside, not saying anything since you figured out a human wouldn't understand any word that comes out of your mouth. She went in, instead of sitting on your couch like the old days, she lingered on the living room, standing and looking at you.

Most times you hadn't mind.

She started, “How are you?”

“I'm good.”

“No, (Y/N). How are you?”

You didn't know what to say. Or why she'd ask a question as that. “I'm not—”

“Do you like me?”

What.

Your face must've given the shock, because she answered your unasked question. “Dan said some things. I'm-I'm not— you're not transferring, are you?”

Oh you're definitely gonna choke the life out of Dan. But knowing him, he wouldn't have spit it out too easily. He was probably drunk and didn't mean it. Still, you wished you said it to Chloe yourself. About the liking and transferring.

You remained silent, reading the expression on Chloe's face. Was she sad? Upset? After years of knowing her, you would've known right away. But now you couldn't. And you fear you might've forgotten the every detail of her face, too.

“(Y/N)...” Her voice gave out, carrying every sadness within. “Why didn't you tell me?”

“About what?” You answered stupidly in a whisper, fearing that if you came into your senses everything would feel too real.

“About everything! About— about your feelings for me. About Seatte. About why you've been so far from me!”

“You have been far from me, Chloe.”

She frowns, and you knew millions and billions and gazillions of questions where popping in her mind.

Tears in your eyes were forming, and you hated it, all of this. She wasn't supposed to know at all. She wasn't supposed to know you had immature feelings for her. Wasn't supposed to know you were transferring atleast 'till next month. But Chloe wasn't dumb, and you should've known that.

Chloe swallowed the lump in her throat, her breathing heavy. “We could've talked about it.”

“We haven't talked much at all these days because of—” you cut yourself off, rolling your eyes at how sick it feels. You hated yourself for it, but you continued anyway. “Because of Lucifer.”

She exhaled. “Lucifer and I are complicated.”

“I know that, Chloe.” You said firmly, meeting her gaze pitying you. Of course she pities you. “I also know you like him so much. I know you've been crying when he fake married that Candy. I know you've been sick worrying when he can't answer your texts or calls. I know you've gone lengths trying to understand him. I know. I know so much so that I didn't wanna be so selfish and tell you things you didn't wanna hear because it'll make your complicated relationship with Lucifer even more complicated. I fucking know. And I loved you too much.”

Chloe's tears were beginning to fall, one by one, slowly. And it hurts you to see her like this. Especially because you know you caused it.

“It was never my intention to push you away. You're my friend— can't we just stay like this?” She asked in a soft, breaking voice. And if it wasn't Chloe you would've said yes because people are easy to move on from. But it was indeed Chloe and she was... not like anyone you know. She was a missing piece of your puzzle. Only, you have never been a piece of hers.

“I love you, Chloe.”

It was weird, saying it out loud, to her. You never thought you could, knowing you were a coward than every cowards combined.

You did though, and that must've pulled something. Because Chloe approached you, side hugged, and then left.

So much for a vacation.

You spent the night crying.

Chloe Decker spent hers with the man she loved. And you were never that man.

[hardpacker]

i was so surprised people were finding my humble blog until i did some looking around, and it seems like some big time twitch gamer has been playing Fin Fin of all things. what is in the air right now? fin fin zeitgeist? i wonder...

fortunately, fin fin is now preserved on the internet archive and playable with a Virtual Machine if it's not compatible with your system. but wow, this sudden revival makes me want to build an actual archival site for all my stuff instead of only a tumblr blog, where neither permanence nor provenance is guaranteed. and i sure do love to make a website ^_^

my personal Fin Fin story is: in 3rd grade my friend Lindsay showed me a black and white photocopy of a very short newspaper article while we were sitting in a huge pine tree at recess. i know exactly where we were and what time of year it was, because although the image wasn't in colour and mostly illegible, i was quickly obsessed with it. i made a copy of that copy and brought it home.

honestly it feels like i didn't go to elementary school at all and everything i learned, i learned at my friend Fin Fin's house lol

i loved being in the water. i loved anything in the water. i drew those things all kids (?) seem to draw-- like piles and piles of elaborate cross-sections of the ocean to show all the plants and animals living in it. this translated to toys and eventually games as well. this Littlest Petshop seahorse was completely mesmerising to me... it's not like you could do much with it, but it seemed magical. each side of the tank is meant to have hot or cold water, changing the seahorse's colour. (you pick it up with the magnet wand)

and were any of you also on fire for any type of rotating/autonomous aquarium toy? they still make those now, but it was something that seemed to populate a fair number of bedrooms or kitchen counters.

so Fin Fin slotted in nicely.

i already had some training on the computer— i was really bad at typing so my mom dragged an old desktop (with the built-in monitor!) and seemingly had me type directly into the terminal lol. i was also really bad at math, and was instructed to play the 1994 Math Blaster with the hope that it being a computer game (precious to me) would like, click my brain into place or something.

it seems weird to say “my parents used computers for work” but it was sort of notable in that we also had a computer at home for my sibling and i to play on— my parents used that one for socializing and by that i mean playing 7th Guest and Myst— the latter of which i loved to sneakily watch and would later play, too. i had a huuuuge poster of the Sunners from Riven's Jungle Island because i was obsessed… i'm sure you can see why. i love any Caribbean place and any aquatic guy.

i first played the demo version of Fin Fin. it let us preview other Fujitsu properties, like Virtual Safari, a colonial project developed by Anglia Multimedia (a subsidiary of Anglia TV, now ITV Anglia) which no longer exists. it was all about taking photos of the wildlife with the footage coming from Anglia's Survival series, but it was pretty unsettling.... and it felt literally dark, too, colours and lighting-wise, but maybe that was more the mood than the visuals. i can't find someone else playing it at a decent quality, so maybe that means i have to do it again........

somewhere in this time i also played Creatures (1996), but my most prominent memories are of Creatures II (1998.) just like fin fin, these games have a lasting and self-sustaining fandom. i've utilised fan-made (and in some cases, fan-turned-staff-turned-fan) injections and gene/egg modifications over the years whenever i boot it up again... the series is on GOG if you want to play it too!

anything that looks like this? absolutely marvellous to me. i can FEEL my brain turning on.

Creatures is more about the evolution/your hand in their evolution and arriving at a certain level of "advancement" plus what you find along the way. plus, the norns are infuriating. i love them, but my god they are truly helpless lol so be prepared! meanwhile, fin fin is more about emotional development, especially that of the kid playing it. it's an emotional experience, rather than the player taking on a teaching role.

there's a lot of articles-- maybe even including the one i first read-- that are written through an excruciatingly contemptuous adult tone, as though fin fin was ever designed with adults explicitly in mind. which isn't to say that adults were never invited to enjoy it-- they were, and they do! i certainly do, lol! (i also cannot begin to imagine how i'd feel about it if it hadn't been so formative.) fin fin isn't trying to mirror real life exactly. fin fin lives inside a computer-- so what would that look like? what would that act like? it is, genuinely, like trying to envision an alien planet.

what is it about these virtual pets that even the pixels of a Tamagotchi were/are so deeply empathised with? i think it's that they weren't trying to create the real world, but a world that would exist in a computer, something sumptuous, a visual delight, essentially boundless but with a unique and memorable feel to it. it's in stark contrast to the cloying and frantic literalism of games since the 2000s. i mean we all feel it now-- "I want shorter games with worse graphics made by people paid more to work less and I'm not kidding."

these early graphics stick out so much in our minds as something WE had a hand in creating, in our minds. but projection wasn't the only mechanism creating this experience, it was also the necessary reflection as mistakes are made and corrected, and the world is explored, and cause and effect are witnessed. fin fin was a first step and first contact with something that recognised our presence. there was more room for our imagination to fill in any blanks or create connections between ourselves/experiences and the virtual world.

i touched on this/other childhood games some in my Klonoa post.

yes, the Myst series' pre-rended backgrounds are gorgeous to me, while dated now-- and even these aren't hyper-literal. you look at them now and of course our imaginations were filling in where the answers fell away into the expanse, and even moreso as we move away from their point in game history. they certainly weren't made with the same intent as something like a virtual pet. they're a story, not a little guy. a virtual world, or a simulated life, while limitless, is small and precious, too. nurturing isn't the same as teaching, having any kind of authority inside the space, the space which seemingly continues after you leave it-- it's a sense of mutual care.

The project's executive producer is the Japanese film director Makoto Tezuka and his aim, he says, was to create a character and environment that would "survive for 1,000 years". - via the times, 1997

i played through the Fin Fin storybook (To Teo and Back with Jack) with my sibling, with friends, with cousins... but i found it lacked a lot of the charm, in part because i didn't find myself needing an in-game analogue. maybe it would've worked better for kids even younger than me?

there was a little card that game with the game that you could fill out to "receive promotional updates and prizes" which i did do, but for the life of me i don't remember what if anything i might've received. and i was very lucky to have two of the now-rare deluxe version Fin Fin plushies... i only have two because my dog chewed the eyes off of one of them and i was aghast. so that's what i mean by lucky, because this happened right as the window was closing on Fin Fin. these things just can't be found anymore. i've really gotta rescue them from my parents' house.

it's really sweet that fin fin is given new life ever so often. i hope everyone enjoys their new friend 💙

[nomunamuinmybrain]

Work you out (M)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Rating: M

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 2.4K

In collaboration with the lovely @alwaysdarkestbeforethedawn94

Disclaimer: if you are under the age of 18 please know that this contains heavy sexual themes and mature language.

Summary: Working for Hybe has been an experience. Being Jungkook’s manager is another story. His sharp eyes, firm jawline and snarky attitude was a deadly combination to begin with. The guy easily found his way to your heart and you simply couldn't take it anymore.

Thinking back to how I managed to land such an unimaginable employment opportunity must have been a miracle. Unquestionably, working for HYBE had so many benefits; I swore to never leave this place. Sure, I was a simple manager's assistant, but I was by the side of one of the managers that handled the most important talent in the stretch of South Korea, the entire globe to be honest, BTS. I was assigned the position of assistant to the manager of one of the guys, none other than Jeon Jungkook. I really couldn’t believe my luck. Not only was I a part of one of the most skyrocketing influential enterprises in the country, but I also had the chance to meet some of the most inspiring people in the whole world! Who would have thought?!

Did I have a crush on the guy by the end of my first month working here? Yes, but who wouldn't? He is the sweetest, always polite and courteous. I've met my share of self-boasting asshats; this industry is flooded with such. This guy is worth billions and he has remained ridiculously humble. Word got around about him being a wonderful young man and I could positively say he is so much more up close. Jungkook is ridiculously handsome that’s a given already, but his personality was the real deal-maker. He reminds me of a dark stormy thundery night where I cover myself with my favourite warm fluffy blanket starring out of the window a rich flavored hot chocolate in hand.

In general, I quite enjoy working at the company’s principled environment. Don’t get me wrong, nothing in this world is rainbows and butterflies, but overall, I can confidently say that it’s been a mainly positive experience. Thankfully, the department I am in is assembled by kind, funny people who like to get things done. There hasn’t been a day were I regretted coming here. As for my daily duties as an assistant, working for Jungkook meant keeping up with his appointments, helping him with anything at anytime, managing his schedule, making sure it matches with the other guys' and so much more. I was required to work around the clock and as a single independent woman in her late twenties who was trying to figure out the world around her that didn’t sound like such a bad idea, though I digress. Essentially, I was one of the employees responsible for pretty much anything and everything he needed. Our department was at his disposal 24/7 running around, living that busy life.

That's until the pandemic struck. That was the first time I thought to myself that this might be nature’s valiant plan to get back what man so forcefully took from her. Suddenly, everything was canceled; life got put on a hold. My dearest supervisor, Jungkook's manager, had to stay at home because he had kids. In fact, a lot of people had to stay at home. Abruptly, days became weeks and weeks became months. The desperation and frustration we were feeling was like nothing else ever experienced. Truthfully, it felt like something had been stolen from us and we could never get it back. In this manner, when the gears finally started grinding again I was assigned to be the on-site manager for Jungkook. That meant being in direct contact with him more so than before and of course, being responsible for a ton of other obligations.  

Not going to lie, the first months were slightly awkward for both of us and understandably so. We both were used to very different working arrangements. I might have been working behind the scenes before, but now I had to step into the spotlight becoming his own personal shadow, and I am sure he wasn’t really comfortable with that. Taken into account the current situation everyone looked like a volcano ready to erupt.  

Once, I happened to accidentally step in a not so common incident; maybe it was a circumstance I wasn’t supposed to witness. He was on the phone at the time, when I saw him. That’s why I decided it was best if I stayed behind the half closed door of the studio. I couldn’t hear what he was saying and it was none of my business after all, but I could tell by the minute I laid my eyes on him that something was wrong. Something had been bothering him; irritation written all over his face. He was pacing back and forth, phone still on his ear. He was clenching his fist so hard I wondered if his nails cut into his skin. He was breathing heavily, almost as if he would burst and his muscles grew tense.  

Then, in an instant, it seemed that the call ended and as he was putting the phone in his pocket he slammed his fists down onto the table a loud bang echoing in the room. After some consideration, I knocked on the door to make my presence known and he sharply looked at me. Without having the chance to say anything to him he let out a loud growl and left the room leaving me dumbfounded and unaware by the door. Soon after that, he apologized for the way he acted confessing that he had an unfortunate falling out with one of his closest friends and at the time he couldn’t process what was happening. I would never forget that day. It was the day I came across a not so familiar side to him.

From that day forward, things miraculously became easier and Jungkook was way more relaxed around my presence, we joked around often and he even texted me to ask about a variety of things outside of regular working hours. We managed to develop a teasing relationship full of endless borderline flirtatious banter. He had this other side to him that only a selected few got the chance to know. Jeon Jungkook was indeed a comforting raging night, but he was also an infuriating playful mischievous brat when he wanted to be. This in all honesty, made him a hundred times more irresistible in my eyes.

Life was going on smoothly until Jungkook decided that taking after midnight trips to the gym was perfectly acceptable, insisting that I escort him instead of his bodyguard. I cursed every single time but I went anyway. Forty-five minutes after midnight he was lifting weights, unbothered. Taking secret short glances towards him I contemplated what I had done in my previous life to deserve this torment. Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t care less about the late hour, but to have this view in front of my eyes was causing me both mental and physical pain. The guy was clearly sculpted by the gods. With his broad chest, muscular arms and thick thighs he could have anyone he ever wanted. He even sported an hourglass figure; He is insanely unreal. That’s the main reason why I decided to sit there preoccupied with a silly game on my phone to kill time until the suffering ended. I was barely hanging from a string at the verge of blowing off the barrier between my personal and professional life.

Out of the blue, with a loud grunt, he dropped the weights, drawing me out of my contemplation. He looked annoyed for whatever reason. He tried his best to seem nonchalant but it was obvious, in his beautiful stern eyes. Could he be craving for an audience? Abandoning every rational thought I had, I put my phone away, looked in his direction as I got up to get water. I smirked at his clear annoyance. Surely, we weren't supposed to interact with the artists this way but I am cranky and sleepy, and for the first time ever, he was being kind of an ass to me. Was I perhaps the reason behind his sudden personality change? The thought kept floating at the back of my mind.  

This kept going on for about three weeks or so and I gave him nothing. His annoyance prominent in his expression, more and more as the weeks went by. He was hot but I am sure all he had been seeking was an audience given that he missed it, or so I thought. Thursday evening rolls around and I was particularly iffy tonight ‘because I was extremely frustrated, sexually. This one was making my situation worse, sporting a tight black tank top and skinny grey sweatpants which made him look like a treat. He could easily pass for a bodyguard with those broad well-built shoulders. As my eyes scanned his body I realized this was the first time his tatted sleeve was on display. I couldn’t help but let my eyes wander. By the time I was done his eyes were already fixed on mine and I turned away immediately, embarrassment written all over my face.  

Seeking solace in the women’s bathroom I tried to extinguish this ravenous yearning. The feeling of cold water did nothing to help the burning desire that was building inside me. Without warning, a knock at the door was heard, his sweet angelic voice following "Are you okay?" he asked, the remnants of a smirk could be heard still. "Jungkook you cannot be here, I am okay. I'll be out in a minute." I exclaimed, as calm as I could. "It's been ten minutes. I can't continue unless you're there." He insisted, I heard him chuckle after that.

With that, it was now or never, I pushed the door’s handle and made my way outside rolling my eyes in the process and he caught that, quickly moving closer, clearly annoyed, jaw clenched, eyes taking in my features, making him look not quite intimidating but definitely interesting. No, it was my mistake. Not just interesting, he looked ravishing. "As I said, I'll be out in a minute. Then you can finish up" I argued. But he didn't budge, moving even closer, if that was even possible, he was almost a breath away. "I don't feel like working out anymore" he declared like a child whose toy was taken away from him. As if I chose to play heads or tails with my career, I poked the beast further, "What is it that you want to do then?" I asked making sure he heard the annoyance in my tone. Coming even closer, to the point where he was completely pressed up against me, "You" he uttered calmly yet authoritatively. Before I could process what he had just said his soft lips crushed mine with a vengeance, thirsty. Pulling my lip with his teeth, he kept planting kisses from my lips to my jaw trailing down to my neck and décolletage; a surprised panting left my lips.  

It felt as if I had involuntarily awakened this beastly hunger within him. His kisses insatiable and his touch was possessive, "I've been thinking about this for so long" he confessed as he took my hoodie off. "Sitting there, not giving a word let alone a glimpse. If you think this is off-limits you're wrong" he growled pointing at himself. "I can guarantee that once we're done here you definitely won't be able to look at me, ever." As he said all that, he managed to get me in a compromising position against the sink, his slim waist in between my legs. He kept my gaze as he lowered his head between my thighs. Little shit kept giving me hickeys on the soft flesh of my inner thighs, so close to my now dripping core. He enjoyed tormenting me and it showed. I was helpless but oh, God was all of this hot. He licked a stripe over my soaked panties, "Oh baby, you smell delicious" and with one hand he took off my underwear completely.

He sank in my folds, letting a guttural moan that I felt vibrating through my core. Not being able to think about what was happening I let myself indulge in my carnal desire my hands tangled in between his luscious hair.  

He loved food and I've watched him eat before, but this must be one of his favorites ‘cause he was doing his best not to let a drop go to waste; he acted like a man starved. His hands held me in place, thankfully, ‘cause everything was too much; nothing could stop me from shaking, feeling everything deep in my core, he was too much. He just had to be good at everything. He kept a torturous tempo, from sucking my clit to his sinful tongue penetrating me, and as tears gathered around my eyes he decided to add his slender fingers in bringing me closer to heaven than I've ever been. "That's it baby, let go. Let go for me" he exhaled and just like that I had the most intense climax. My limbs felt numb, my whole body felt like rubber.  

Before I could register what was happening he was back at it, sucking my over stimulated clit, my thighs unconsciously closing around his head as oversensitivity hit. "One more, please, come on baby, you can do it" he begged. He kept pumping his fingers while sucking my clit, as if it was his only goal in life. My screams muffled through my own hand clamped on my mouth as I reached my high for a second time that night. I felt it take over me with such intensity I didn't register what had happened. He emerged from between my thighs, soaked from me squirting and with a proud look on his face he declared "Now I look like I had the workout of a lifetime".  

He helped me get dressed and pulled me close for a soft peck. He must have noticed my concerned look because he wrapped his arms around me in a warm hug and said "Don't be scared about this, we can work it out. I really like you and I'd like you to stick around". Starring into his eyes, I nodded and he pulled me close for the sweetest kiss, trying to tame my bewildered hair. He helped me get dressed and got out the door first to make sure that no one was around. I waited for a moment and then I got a text.  

[wendystales]

Memories - lrh (Chapter Thirteen)

Memories (also on Wattpad)

Chapter Twelve ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ Chapter Fourteen

I position myself in the center of the panel, making the 104th pose that morning. Brandon guides me from one shot to the next, making everything easier.

Six makeups. Six hairstyles. Six changes of clothes, even though the focus was on my face. Why did I get into this?

The photo shoot was for a cosmetics brand, for which I was the cover girl. It wasn't a 7-headed bug, as I had been thinking all night, which resulted in an irritating insomnia. And even though I arrived shy and lost, when I saw my look all produced, I felt like a great hottie, which gave me the confidence to go to that studio and rock.

I was having fun, as Leah advised me. I threw my hair, made faces and danced. I shifted my attention between Brandon's camera and my cell phone, where Nico, one of the helpers, was filming behind the scenes and stirring up my social medias.

It's fun, but after the fourth change of clothes, I was exhausted. After all, that spotlight doesn't leave me and the light gets too hot.

“For you.” Nico hands me a pink lilies bouquet. I open a smile, confused.

The team that was with me today, the agency, the brand and my parents had already sent me some bouquets earlier today, congratulating me and celebrating my return to the fashion world. So whose would it be?

I hunt for the card, opening it in a rush. Nico rested his head on my shoulder, wanting to read along with me. The handwriting didn't make me doubt, they were Luke's.

“To make your day more beautiful.

Congratulations on your return.

Love, Hemmo.”

I open a smile completely shaken by that. I burst out laughing when I see under his name “and the rest of 5sos” written in a different hand.

I ask Nico to take a picture of me with the flowers and send it to him, who quickly responds with a Petunia figure with heart eyes. I know I need to drop the bouquet and go back to the photos, but it feels so difficult.

Finally, I leave the flowers to the dressing room and I focus myself. Brandon praises my goofy smile and begs me to keep it up.

I knew everyone wanted to come today and watch the photo shoot, but I begged so hard not to. If without anyone I was already terrified of, seeing everyone there, staring at me, I wouldn't leave the dressing room.

[...]

Leah and Kiki were at my house, getting ready for Ashton's birthday, and of course, to gossip. They were both super curious to know how my first shoot was and how I was feeling.

besides telling about work, I comment about Luke's flowers and, finally, I tell about yesterday's dreams that still haven't left my head, taking root in my mind, blooming when I least expect it and leaving me out of breath.

“Oh, you naughty one!” Hastings tosses me the pillow. "Are you going to tell him?" she sits up in bed.

“No! How do I tell this?” I question, not understanding.

“Luke, I remembered when we were like two pervert rabbits and we were always having sex in the corners. Simple.” Kiki shrugs, going back to making up her eyes.

“Kiki!" I reprimand her. I hide my face, laughing embarrassed. "We weren't like that…I think…were we?" I look quickly at both of them.

Kiki looks at Leah, holding back her laughter. The brunette stares at me in disbelief. Oh my God, we were! It takes time to sink in, because with Stephen, I avoided sex at all costs. It was so cold and awkward, that most of the time I was bruised and, in all cases, unfulfilled.

I remember the touch of the dream and how it felt so soft and intense, and so good. However, I still find it hard for me to have been so turned on that I started having sex everywhere.

“Are you sure?” I ask suspiciously.

"Oh, honey! I will have to tell you about my dad's birthday, have I?" Leah hugs me, making Kiki laugh.

"What about your father's birthday?" the same way I was feared of Luke when he started telling me about the day I threw up at his feet, I get with Leah.

“Well, it was my dad's 50th birthday. A big, big party and of course I invited all of you. We had just got back from Milan, you were away from Luke for a couple of weeks, so you’re kinda getting crazy by missing him.

"Make it crazy." Kiki comments.

“The plan was for us to arrive in the morning, you'd have time to see each other, and then in the evening we would go to the party. But our flight was delayed and you didn't have that time. So you decided to open the bathroom.” Leah gives a fake smile.

I took a few seconds to understand, and then I widen my eyes, wanting to sink into the ground. I can't believe we did this.

“Calm down! She didn’t told the best part”. Kiki leaves the bathroom, joining us.

“Oh, that's cool, is there a better part?” I look at them both desperately.

"Of course, there is a best part. Leah escorting you guys out of the bathroom" Kiki throws herself on the bed, laughing. “Oh God! Your faces were the best.”

“Was after that our friendship beat all the limits and you know, we got really close.” Leah smiles to me.

What was my problem? Oh Lord, I never, ever, in my all life, thought I'd give one of those. If anyone asked me, who would be most likely to do this, I would definitely say Leah, Kiki, and even Bethany, but I would never say my name.

What did Luke do to me?!

I look at my friends, shocked. They both start laughing, amused by my reaction. A few seconds later, I give up, starting to laugh too.

"Is there any other similar situation that I should know about?" I inquire with fear.

"Yes, but we don't have time right now." Kiki gets up from the bed, slapping my foot, asking me to get ready.

We turned on the music and continued to get ready. Leah goes down to the kitchen, returning with three beers. The subject changes and we start to gossip.

After hours of producing us, I come down wearing my silver sequin jacket, finding Leah with another beer in her hand.

“Well? Good? Great?” I take a stroll, showing off the leather pants and black tank top that valued my tattoo.

"I definitely would ask for your number!" she replies, making me smile.

"Do you think people will like it? I mean, isn’t that much?” I stop in a few poses while she watches me.

“Rephrase the question.” she leans against the table. I stare at her without understanding. “What you want to know is whether Luke will like it." I open my mouth a few times.

“Perhaps.” I answer softly. Hastings snorts, hiding her face.

“You two should pay for my therapy. Because it's not easy to take it.” she takes a deep breath.

I give a guilty smile. I head to the bar, grabbing a shot of tequila and flipping it quickly. I would find Luke in a few minutes and I still don't know how to face him. I close my eyes, letting the alcohol burn my throat and warm my body, along with the memories. The flashes come back to my mind, clear as water. I can hear the girls' voices again, telling them about Mr. Hastings' 50th birthday.

“Let's go?” Kiki's scream brings me back. Standing near the door, they wait for me to down another shot of tequila before we go.

Along the way, we took several photos, already moving our social medias. At the door of the restaurant, the swarm of paparazzi was already in place and as soon as we got off the car, they surrounded us. Hands and arms linked, the three of us entered, being saved by the huge walls that didn't let them see anything that happened inside.

We went to the back of the restaurant, in a more reserved space, where a long table took up half the back wall. Right away I spot Luke, laughing as he chats with Jack and another guy I don't recognize. I analyze your look, social pants and a black t-shirt.

How can someone look so beautiful, so simple?

I swallow hard when he notices our approach and looks directly at me. I look away, unable to hold on; the images screamed in my mind.

Irwin approaches, already quite excited, trying to hug the three of us at the same time. When Leah and Kiki go to greet the other guests, I calmly hug my best friend, congratulating him once more.

“Make yourself comfortable and behave” he leaves a kiss on my forehead, going to welcome other guests who have just arrived.

I turn in time to see Hemmings approaching, one glass in his hand and the other in his pants pocket. How? I hold my breath, giving a terrified smile. He opens his smile even more.

“Hey!” he says excitedly, close enough for me to hear. Those lips… what have they done… I close my eyes quickly, shutting my mind.

“Hey!” I answer awkwardly.

“How are you doing?” he hugged me, pressing a kiss to the corner of my mouth. I close my eyes again, feeling it radiate with amazing speed throughout my body. I let out a breath in a sigh. I manage to catch his eyes as he walks away, hiding a more mischievous smile.

“Well!” my cheeks catch fire and the jacket starts to bother me. "Thanks for the flowers earlier today." I thank, while Luke leads me to the bar. His hand firmly on my waist reminds me of that hotel room. I bite my lip, holding back the urge to bang my head on the counter. "A shot of tequila." I ask desperately.

Luke raises his eyebrows in surprise but says nothing. I turn it over without a single thought, asking for another one, just in case. The heat that spreads through my body is the result of three doses ingested. I take off my jacket and, through the bar mirrors, I see Luke shamelessly sweep my body.

“It was nothing!” he says after clearing his throat. "I'm glad you liked it. So, how was your first shoot?” he leans his elbow on the counter, propping his head on his hand, visually interested.

The effect of the alcohol starts to kick in, and so I feel lighter in his presence, not bothering with the memories between the two of us, nor the fanciful situations that my mind starts to create. I tell about the rehearsal and how fun it really was to do it. In the middle of the answer, I get enthusiastic, telling everything in minute detail. Luke looks at me smiling and interested, without interrupting me.

“I’m sorry!” I cover my eyes, laughing. “I'm talking too much.”

A few more people had already arrived, but the two of us were still there, sitting at the bar. The most interesting thing was, everyone who arrived didn't dare come here and interrupt us.

“No! I love hearing you talk.” he smiles before taking another sip of gin. I lower my gaze, totally ashamed.

"I think we'd better go sit down." I comment, seeing everyone settling into their chairs.

“Let's go?” he offers his hand, helping me off the stool. I hold into his arm, walking to the table. "Should I keep an eye on you today?" he laughs. I repress the urge to say yes, but that's not the answer to his question.

“No! I won't drink that much.” I press my lips together in a thin line, embarrassed by Ash's party.

We sat next to each other, with Calum and Noah in front of us. Luke leans his arm on the back of my chair and I'm not shy about getting close to him, even with everyone in our group staring at us curiously. We embarked on a lively conversation with everyone around us.

Michael rushes in and apologizes for being late, taking his seat next to Hemmings.

"Was she with her?" I hear Luke ask, taking my full attention.

“Yep!” Mike gives a shy smile.

“Who she?” I almost walk through the body of the australian beside me, wanting to get close to Mike.

“Nobody special.” he shrugs.

“Yeah! Go for it.” Hemmo lets go, laughing. Michael slaps him on the head.

“It's nobody special. Just a friend. I swear!" he closes the matter, but he doesn't convince me.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me about it." I whisper, complaining to the blonde at my side.

“Sorry, there was no time. Also, I didn't even know it could lead to anything.” he shrugs. I stare Luke, waiting him to continue, but he is easily distracted by the napkin holder. I slap his head like Mike. “Ouch! What was it?” he looks at me shocked.

“Tell me!” Luke turns to face me, rolling his eyes.

“Her name is Sophie. They met at a Fortnite stream. She beat him and he went to congratulate her on the match, so they started talking and apparently it’s hitting something.” Luke shrugs, finishing the story.

“This is so cute. I hope it works!” I see Michael laughing over Luke's shoulder. “Is she pretty?” I question.

“This is a dangerous question.” I look back at him, confused. "Is there a chance you slap me?" I laugh.

"No." I don't get why I would hit him for finding someone pretty.

“She is pretty!" I hit him. “Hey! You said I wouldn't be hitten.” he accuses me.

“Sorry, it's just funny.” I defend myself by laughing. Luke turns forward, annoyed. I wrap my arm around his, which were on the table and come closer, placing a kiss on his cheek. "Are you going to be mad at me?" I question laughing.

"And I can do it?" he turns to me. His eyes drop to my lips and mine to yours. It would be a perfect time for a kiss, but I don't feel comfortable with all these looks on us.

Hemmo seems to understand my internal battle and just leaves a kiss on my forehead. I open a grateful smile and once again guide my attention to the conversation between Noah and Brian.

After a couple of hours of eating and drinking. We started to spread out through space, forming several conversation circles. I was having a blast with everyone. We sing, dance and record videos that we'll definitely regret later.

After starting to eat, I stopped drinking alcohol, after all, trauma still reigns inside me. So I wouldn't feel like the only sober one at the party, Hemmings decided to join me, stopping drinking too.

Relieved, of course, is the word to describe this night with him. I thought it would be hard to look at it with everything I remembered, but it was so light and fun, I admit I freaked out over nothing. As usual!

All through dinner, I try not to pay too much attention to everyone's eyes on us. We simply could not do anything that someone just needed to die of love. Luke was amused, while I just wanted to sink into the ground.

Yes, I may have had a clue as to how much I feel about Luke, but I still want to take it easy. I want to be sure, and for that, I need to stop being afraid. I know he's been realizing how I've changed and I'm letting him get closer and closer.

Our kisses, touches and smiles. Everything is falling into place and the fact that he doesn't put pressure on me helps me a lot. I already totally trust him, it just makes stronger.

Considering it was easy to stay close to him, without letting the shame take me, I didn't pull him away for a second, because most of the time he pulled me along and I liked that. I like being close to him.

“One round. Just one round.” Jack pleads, hands clasped under his chest.

“No! I've had too much today.” Luke denies it again, making his friend fake a dramatic cry.

"You drank when you arrived. A beer and a shot of gin. That's nothing.”

“I'll drive later and I'm keeping Marnie company.” he squeezes me tighter to his chest.

"Can't you drink?" Jack looks at me confused.

“Of course I can, I just don't want to, you know, make a scene. Or something like that.” I shrug. Jack rolls his eyes, turning back to Luke.

“One round.” he begs, making me laugh.

The boys were preparing a round of Answer or Drink with 10 different types of drink. So, they played and still got drunk.

“No!” Luke responds with a laugh.

For a few seconds, I leave the two of them arguing and go to the table to get my coat. With the lack of alcohol, I start to feel the cold of the air conditioning. On my way to the table, a voice stops me.

“Look what a wonderful surprise.” I turn quickly, feeling all the blood freeze through my body. "What a coincidence, isn't it?" I watch his smirk, knowing what his presence there would do.

“What are you doing here, Stephen?” I take a breath deep, controlling the urge to fly at him. Just like I did with Pam.

It's the first time we've seen each other since the diary report and I couldn't feel more disgust and loathing.

“It's a public place, Lizzie, and don't worry, I didn't come chasing you. I'm with friends.” he points to a table. “I just came to say hello.”

“Don't call me Lizzie, you know I hate it and why don't you take your fake education and stick it in your…”

“What are you doing here?” Luke walks past me, coming face to face with Stephen. "I already told you to stay away from her."

Soon, all the boys approach, ready to intervene. I grab his arm, trying to keep him close to me.

“Let him.” I beg, not wanting it to explode in the middle of the restaurant.

“Calm down, Hemmings.” the name comes out acid and full of poison. “I just came to say hello to Lizzie.” he laughs, hands in his pockets. "Don't worry, I'm not kissing her."

I close my eyes, feeling that hit both of us. That's low, very low. Luke steps forward, taking me with him. Noah and Jack are already starting to put their hands between them. Ash, Mike and Calum begin to put their hands on their friend's shoulders, pulling him along.

“Do not worry. I'm not going to spend my time punching him. But I'll just say one thing, Stephen.” he uses the same acid tone to say his name. "In case you're still dumb enough not to understand. It’s over! What you and Marnie had is over! So stop coming after her, because she doesn't want anything to do with you. She is with me.”

His tone of voice and body postureme impress. I've never seen Luke like this, so nervous, holding back so he doesn't explode, the veins in his neck bulging, proving how much he's controlling himself. I tighten your arm more tightly around my body. I bring my hand down until it's entwined with his, deceptively hoping that it will calm him down and bring him back to me.

“Funny. Cause from what I heard, you guys broke up, didn't you? What? You couldn’t stood the cheat?” he laughs, like he's made a great joke.

I don't know if he intended to hit Luke again, but without realizing it the words hit me. My blood boils and the words written in my diary take shape in my mind. Damn imagination.

I let go of my hand, putting myself in front of Stephen, who takes a step back. His gaze, full of curiosity and mockery, fixes on me.

“That’s enough, Stephen! I don't care about you. Pretend I never called you, just like I was before the accident and disappear from my life. I know you cheated on me and I don't want this torment in my life anymore. Go away.” I let go of everything contained, trying not to fly off his neck.

"Are you really going to believe their bullshit?" Stephen crosses his arms.

“Nobody had to tell me. I remembered." I see his eyes lose their mocking sparkle and he lose confidence. It's a lie, but he don't need to know. “There are at least twenty people here and they all want to hit you, including me, who wouldn't mind breaking my cast on your head. So if you don't want to get out of here on a stretcher, get out!”

I take a step back, feeling my heart pound and trying my best to keep myself from crying. Luke's agitated breath pulses against my spine. I lean against him, feeling his hand intertwine with mine, squeezing it delicately. Amazing how I feel safer, just with that touch.

Stephen passes his eyes around everyone and walks away without saying anything else. When his body pulls away, I release all the air I didn't even know I was holding. The boys start telling us to go back to the table.

I turn, pulling Luke, who is still standing there, facing my ex, who is sitting at the table with a group of friends. He turns around, pulling me easily into his arms. His hands tighten around my waist and I feel him exhale against my neck, giving me goose bumps. I stroke the back of his neck, trying to calm him down and show him that everything is fine.

We walked back to the table, striving for the mood from before. Ashton orders his birthday cake and we ourselves lull into the music, excited, mocking Irwin. While we devoured the cake, no one broaches the subject and I thanks for that. I know Hemmings and I will probably talk about it, but I don't want to involve the guys in this.

Gossip reigns at the table again. The entire group is engaged in conversation about the most disastrous trips ever made, minus the blonde and me. I watch him with his jaw still set and his gaze filled with rage, fixed directly on Stephen, who is across the room, staring at me.

It's a cycle: Luke stares at Stephen, who stares at me, while I stare at Luke.

I feel terrible for making him go through all of this. My amnesia, our breakup, my ex's return. Lucas doesn't deserve any of this. I need to reward him, but how?

“Hey!” I whisper, resting my chin on his bicep, but he doesn't hear me. "I want to leave, will you take me?" I question, hoping to gain any sign of him.

He looks at me nonchalantly, then blinks back to reality. Luke stares at the bleached on the other side, wanting to see if he's still trying something. I drop a small kiss on his shoulder, gaining his attention again.

“Of course! Let's go?” I nod, getting up.

Nobody is opposed to our leaving, I believe as much because of what happened as because it was the two of us. We walked across the room hand in hand, and with me clutching his arm, just to make sure he didn't fly into someone.

But I need to remember that Luke is just as classy as I am. Not just for the fame or the spectacle it would be, but because he was brought up that way. Educated not to go into violence, even if there was someone on the other side who deserved to be slapped.

I'm scared by the frantic flashes that start to pop when they notice the two of us. I cling closer to Luke, who makes room for his car. The delay for the questions to start is just for them to reason that it was the two of us there, together, after announcing our break up.

I keep my head down, focused on his thumb moving up and down, stroking my skin. Luke opens the car door and I settle in, still feeling the flashbulbs burst above us.

With great difficulty, we got out of that sea of ​​people. We remained silent until we reached the intersection of the main lane that led to my house.

“Do you want to go home?” he asks, softly.

I can't identify any feelings in your voice. He is neutral, indifferent. Apart from the isolated fact, this night has been amazing and I don't want it to end, not in this mood.

“No!” I turn in the seat, facing him. "Isn't there anywhere I'd love to go? Or that we both went a lot?” for the first time, I see a glint run through his eyes.

“Yeah! In fact, there are two.” he cracks a smile, causing me to smile too.

Luke takes the other path, heading to some place I couldn't even imagine. The subject comes up between us and so the mood softens. As we talk, I list a number of places I've always liked in Los Angeles, wanting to guess where it would take me.

We turn onto Wilshire Boulevard and I guess where we're going. Hemmo parks his car near the Urban Light and I look forward to getting out of the car.

Before we exit the vehicle, he pulls two caps from the glove compartment, giving me a dark gray one. I look at that accessory, wondering if it was always mine, if we always wore it when we went out.

“Why am I not impressed that this would be the first place?” I question, holding his hand.

By the time, the sculpture was a little empty, with only a few couples taking pictures. Luke and I went unnoticed, walking between those huge poles.

We walked around, with me admiring those lighted poles. I've always liked this sculpture, I've always found it romantic because so many people are proposed here, and I love the lighting.

“Oh no!” I push Luke, finding your phone pointed at me.

"This one got blurry." he laments, pointing again.

“Luke!” I exclaim laughing. I try not to scream so as not to draw attention to both of us.

“Sorry about my behavior at the restaurant.” Hemmings says after a while, surprising me. I lean against a pole, watching him.

“Why are you apologizing?” I frown. Luke leans against the same post, shrugging.

"I didn't mean to spoil your night." he answers.

“You didn't! If there is one responsible, it is him! Stephen knows he shouldn't have shown up there.” I comfort him.

His blue eyes meet mine. I take a step toward him, standing on tiptoe, reaching for his lips, leaving a simple kiss there. Without pulling away completely, I see a goofy smile appear on his face, which also appears on mine.

"What's our second place?" I whisper, next to him.

“My bed.” he lets go.

“Lucas!” I push him away, laughing again. His laugh is contagious. If he knew about the memories…

“Just kidding." Uh-hm… "Ready to get full of sand?" he asks, holding out his hand.

“Always!” I grabbed, leaning my head on his arm as we made our way to the car.

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