#also haha funny

[kkolg]

Heya pals!!!😃😁 I jwust discovered a new and wevowutionary way to make pasta!!! wags fake tail aggressively at the speed of sound shit flies out of hole and is propelled in the air everywhere by the tail wags staining the wall behind a dark greenish-brown I CAN'T WAIT TO SHOW Y'ALL!!!! Owo uWu Howls so loud in excitement and blows out all the windows and kills all of the closest passerbys😊😊😊 Instwead of using boring and smwelly overpriced old spaghetti that we have to buy at a crummy store, we could use the free products that come from within us… TAPEWORMS!!!!!!!! OWo >W< Or any other booty worms are just fine too!🤤😊🤤

It's very simple, eat some uncooked meat like pork and wait awhile! :p ^o^ Once you start feeling itchy n scritchy and your waist line is slimmer you'll know it's ready! my "chocolate milkshake brings all the boys to the yard😊"~ Once your little wormy is ripe and ready, drink some pepto bismol and some dewormers! You can flavor the pepto bismol with some blended up cockroaches to improve it's taste!!! It's SOO good trust me uwu!!!!!! tee hee heesnort~ ^W^

Once it's finally out you may have to pull it all the way out manually or have a friend help you teamwork makes the dreamwork!🥰 just strain it from the diahrrea save the diahrrea for later! and place it aside! See how long plump and plentiful it is 😍😍😍 Twake your time to run your fwingers through your new beatiful creation, feel the slime trickiling through your fingers and admire it… Next cut it up into how long you'd like, you may also notice chwunks of poop and corn stuck to them It's SOOOO YUMMY Uwu 🤤, those will be the meatballs!!!

OOOOOH and make sure not to cook your little booty worms as to not kill them so they can live again and you can have free fwesh pasta! It would SUCK if they all died >~< cries and has explosive diahrrea on motheroh sorry uwu tee hee~ oh gee golly gosh~ Get the diahrrea from earlier and boil it down a bit since it'll be watery from the toilet and cook it down slightly until your preferred consistency! Howls and licks out extra from the toilet like a cat licking churu Now pour it on your tapeworms and poopy corn balls!

Be sure to eat onions before the clean out if you want any bits of onions in your sauce! Popcorn if you want any kernel shells for added texture. If you're lucky and have pin worms you can use them as parmesan and sprinkle them on top of your dish! If you don't have any pin worms on hand scratching off some dandruff onto the food has the same effect! pants and helocopter farts in nearby cat's face One last thing you can add is a sprinkle of pee pee poo poo dust as just a little enhancer!☺️Tee hee~ Bone apple feet!

I know what I said about these asks but I’m pretty sure you’re the same furry anon so you get a pass

[ash-and-starlight]

another late @zukki-week entry, for day 2 // skinny dipping

and as a special treat it comes with @erisenyo's fantastic fic And Babe, (What Do you Mean) We Ain't Even Dating that this scene is based on!!

[dolotonglo]

so that popularity poll huh

[ripplefields]

i don't even know why i made it berdly i think i just wanted to draw berdly

[esprei]

req: more of your future emmet! in france!

oh... how unfortunate... bonus:

don't worry, Emmet! I'm sure you'll have a great time :D

[do-rey-me]

if murderbot learned what autism was i truly believe itd go "wow humans are so ridiculous they cant even agree on their own stupid human social rules" and then never think about that or its possible relation to its own behaviors ever again

[civetcider]

Traver's new car (she/her)

and robert their deer neighbor (he/him) he's just some guy with a wife and 2 kids who was kinda homophobic but than his son came out as gay and now he still sometimes says kinda off stuff about it but everybody lets it slide since at least he's trying, extra bit under the cut

[kitamars]

oh no! more ginhiji

[moeblob]

So does he, Gallagher.

[mosaickiwi]

Little "Love" Notes

Angel should really tell someone if they think somebody’s breaking in but instead they do… this? For some reason.

very good idea

14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI

💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤

Quiet and quick as could be, [REDACTED] slowly opened your window by the fire escape. He climbed in carefully, a little astonished that you still weren’t bothering to lock it after all these months. Their boots hardly made a sound as he took practiced steps over the hardwood floor of your apartment and headed straight to the kitchen. He didn’t need to see to know which floorboards would creak or groan underfoot.

Just as they expected, the usual sight that had him even more excited to go on his now almost nightly break-ins was there to greet him. A handful of hastily scrawled, bright pink sticky notes were slapped across various surfaces.

At some point or another you'd gotten sick of things going missing. Sure, most of them turned up after a while—and always right where you thought you'd left them—but even still it annoyed you. So you started leaving silly messages for your supposed burglar. He chose to read them as love notes.

“Don't take anything in here you BITCH I'll be so mad!!” screamed one from its place on a kitchen cabinet. Your writing there was a little illegible from how fast you surely wrote it, but he found it endearing.

Another, on the side of some faded plastic-ware read, “I made these cookies for a friend but a lot of them came out wrong. You may have the burnt ones.”

“Give that ugly red shirt back it doesn't belong to me.” That was the last one he could find in the room for now, left on top of the counter next to the notepad and pen you always used.

As much as he wished to, the hacker usually didn’t respond for fear of confirming your needless worries. They'd never want to harm you like a real burglar. But he always followed the instructions when he could. And he could do some of those tonight.

Since you'd so nicely asked, he left the bottom cabinet alone. They already knew what you kept in there anyway. He wouldn’t tell a soul.

He took a few burnt cookies out of the container left on the counter—not enough that you'd notice. Some to eat once he left, and one to keep. It was another thing you offered up to him, after all. 

But the sorry excuse of a shirt that your (worst) childhood friend had left behind was long gone. [REDACTED] had already given it a much needed vacation to the bottom of Lake Bluemoss, along with some other items that Leon had dared to leave among your belongings.

With the notes in the kitchen mostly taken care of, he set off towards your laundry closet. Only to find the small sliding door in the hallway closed shut with a note of its own smack dab in the middle. 

“Please don't take my comfy clothes anymore :c I know you always give them back but it'll be getting cold soon!! You don’t want me freezing in the middle of the night, do you? Won't you forgive me? Pretty please? ♥ ♥”

Mind going a mile a minute, [REDACTED] had to read your beautiful handwriting again and again as if decoding a different language. Those tiny, black inked hearts at the end of the note were all he could understand in the moment. Your sweetly written, pleading love letter finally sunk in once he managed to shake away the haze you’d unknowingly swept him into.

This one was a risk that he was willing to take. Of course they wanted you to be comfortable. He gently peeled the note off so it wouldn’t tear, and folded it away to tuck into his jeans.

Then, the dark haired man began to tug his favorite hoodie up and over his shoulders.

💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤

You lazily pulled the folding door open in search of a blanket. It was just a little bit colder for some reason when you woke up this morning, so you needed something to keep you cozy while you waited for Violet to come over later that afternoon. You reached up to the middle shelf where you normally kept extra blankets, but something just below it caught your eye.

A huge, black hoodie sat folded on top of the pile of clean towels you forgot to take care of days ago.

You didn't recognize it, but it had to belong to one of your friends, right? They all formed a habit of leaving stuff with you once you moved back to town. Jae still hadn’t picked up the roller skates he got for Maple—they were only used the one time.

Ignoring the blanket you meant to grab, you picked up the hoodie and slipped it on. The giant thing practically swallowed you, sleeves enveloping your hands and the hem falling well past your hips. The garish horror design that decorated its front didn't seem to be anything your friends were into, either.

But it was warmer than you thought possible. Plus, it smelled nice, like cherries and a little familiar comfort of something you couldn't place. Whoever it belonged to surely wouldn't mind if you kept it for a while.

You didn't bother to spare it another thought and hurried off to check the kitchen. Hopefully the cookies you'd painstakingly baked yesterday were still there.

[habken]

kung fu panda x bnha crossover doodles

+ panda!deku cause I couldn’t decide what I wanted him to be

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

RE2 lethan AU where leon finds ethan hiding under a desk in the racoon police station

[doctorsiren]

I saw an interesting post a while back that said “Capcom made us [Miles and Diego/Godot] only have like two(?) interactions because they knew we would be unstoppable with a brother dynamic” and tbh it stuck with me bc it was intriguing.

So yeah that potential brotherhood, but that Godot/Diego AU I made (that I still need a name for)

Also I bet Gregory Edgeworth would have smelled like a bit like coffee, and so Diego just reminds Miles of that comforting presence 😭 (the von Karma estate was a tea household, so he didn’t smell much coffee after DL-6 and didn’t realize how much he missed it/reminded him of his father)

[molotovmetro]

The 141 + König with a s/o who goes non-verbal

Tiny disclaimer: im autistic and have moments of being non verbal during breakdowns etc, so this is based mostly off of my own experience, but if anyone feels like ive said inaccurate or offensive things, please let me know as that would never be my intention. The way I've written this suggests this is a negative feeling (, since thats how i experience it) but I understand that might not be the same for everyone. For some people this might just be a daily or

Requested by @apocalypticseagull

Warnings: mentions of stress and the slightest hint at possible injury, besides that nothing I can think of

M!reader

Ghost

Ghost relates to you. While he wouldn't claim his experience is the same, he gets moments of overstimulation where he wants everyone to leave him alone, and will just stop reacting to people.

When he feels like this, he prefers to sit in his room, either completely in the dark or with only a small lamp on, and have as little noise around him as possible.

If you're in a stress situation, not knowing what else to do to help you, that's what he'll resort to.

He'll take you into either his room or yours, whichever you would prefer, and holds you while letting you get away from all the triggers for a bit. Unless you're dealing with life or death situations, whatever work you have left for the day can wait. Your wellbeing always comes first.

Soap

Soap is a lot more observant than people give him credit for. He's the king of avoiding stressful situations for you whenever he can.

But alas, he can't avoid it every time. Whether you start saying less and less as the minutes go on, or just stop talking suddenly, he notices immediately.

Not that he'd be quick to admit it, but he's got a written list of everything you like, even if it's just something you mentioned in passing. He absutely will use this list to do whatever he can to make you smile and relieve some of your stress.

He'll make sure to find a way to still communicate that both of you are comfortable with. He'll happily lend you his journal to write in, or he'll ask Roach for some lessons in sign language. He'd break his back bending over backwards to make you comfortable if he had to.

Gaz

No matter how often it happens, Gaz still feels a jolt of panic whenever you don't respond over coms when you're on a mission. He almost sags in relief as soon as he hears you hum, or even just hears the crackly static of you pushing your radio's button.

He knows you're a talented soldier and you're more than capable of handling yourself, he still prefers to be near you at all times. What if something happens and you can't tell him? You could be in trouble without him even knowing. He'll, just knowing you're stressed is making him want to reach for you.

He likes his job, likes helping people and ridding the world of danger, but his favourite part of every mission is when you're sitting in the exfil helo after a good mission, and you give him that wide smile he's been waiting hours, if not days to see.

Price

You and Price have been working together for so long, you both know the drill. When he starts to notice you going quiet, he makes sure he only asks yes or no questions. On your side; one click of your radio button for no, two for yes. Throw in some improvised morse code when necessary, and you've got a solid communications system.

Having this system is also a huge bonus during stealth missions, when he can't talk freely without risking being spotted.

He loves hearing your voice, but he doesn't treat you any differently when you can't talk. He'll support you in whatever way you need, without making it feel like he's babying you.

The two of you are a well oiled machine. No matter how stressful the situation, usually you can tell what the other one is thinking just by looking at them. You know you both have each other's back, verbal communication or not.

König

König doesn't mean to make a big deal out of it, and he won't if you don't, but he does worry.

After a situation like that happens once, he commits everything that helps you to his memory, and uses the knowledge to help you the next time it happens.

Even down to the tiniest detail, he'll remember. If you don't like a certain texture or can only stand a certain flavour of drink during moments like this, he's making sure you have everything you need and are as comfortable as possible. Whatever is stressing you will be dealt with by him while you're resting and calming down.

If you want to be alone, he understands and respects that, and gives you the space you need. But if you don't, there's nowhere he'd rather be than by your side.

[clownsuu]

BRO WHEN I TELL YOU I DID A FULL DOUBKE TAKE ON THAY HOWDY DRAWING—

GYAT

Devouring your art rn

Honestly big bozonga howdy is probably the funniest shit I’ve ever drawn smhhh

Very helpful smh