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mouseratz · 2 years

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Gotham episodes 5x6-5x12

5x6

- he's runnin...

- they just need to fry Eddie's brain again and he'll be fine.

- OH YEAH JIM!

- THE DOG LEFT. WHY.

- who is she?

- she looks a bit like a doll.

- what the fuck.

- "oh. Is that all?"

- "what the people desperately need is food and medicine. not more guns."

- "you have me." "And me." "I don't trust you."

- HE WINKED.

- I LOOOOVE IT

- Selina just chopped off some guys fingers and then went to eat coco puffs.

- "kind of resembles a goth chicken?"

- he did kill Tabitha in cold blood. Truth.

- Lucius......

- Lee?

- "tell me, how many ex fiancees do you have anyway?"

- "I can't remember anything..." Did they put a chip in her too? not for killing, just to control her.

- he's scared of it cuz last time it worked.

- "IS IT NOT OBVIOUS? ITS. A BOMB!"

- "oh, not now, Bullock."

- I love him. So much.

- I do like that season five is just like. yeah the government and military is literally evil. agreed

- BULLOCK KNEW THE ANSWER? how does it go....a broken clock still rings right twice a day....no that's not quite it.....err

- WHAT A DRAMATIC DEATH.

- I love Selina and os. this is so fucking funny

- "the next time I get a short straw, I'm just gonna walk into traffic."

- something's really wrong with Lee.

- who the fuck is walker. ain't no way she's just some rando.....

- how many times does Alfred get stabbed in this show.

- truth is, penguin is still more ruthless than Selina is, even with her loosening morals.

- of course she's fucking pregnant. LMAOOO

- "You're supposed to be dead, mate." "Sorry to disappoint."

5x7

- fireworks? where is this?

- "her squad found something." "What?" "....it's weird."

- that's gotta be a pretty old newspaper by now.

- oh. Jeremiah.

- "for my little nugget." Jesus.

- Jeremiah I really gotta know what is the point of this. It's so elaborate. And just to fuck with him?

- "and I didn't get to be a part of it."

- Jeremiah you didn't have to do this. You could've just came out

- ACE CHEMICALS? okay. so it's the janker

- they're still working with Jervis?

- ECCO HAS ROLLER SKATES!!!!

- ok well. They did blow up Wayne manor.

- Jervis has a better outfit this season.

- the theater is kinda creepy. Love it.

- Jeremiah costume is pretty awesome.

- be careful rejecting gay people in Gotham. it never goes well

- it parallels that Selina was watching, unknown by everyone....except this time, she *saved* them. thereby, making up for the past.

- Jeremiah this would've been a lot easier if you just said you loved him before all that.

- also just like Lego Batman

- the rivers toxic now, isn't it?

- "first of all, I am VERY fond of that dog."

- "it means fate has different plans for us."

- fellas is it gay to ask your number one frenemy to escape the city with you

- Annnd there it is for Selina.

- "she's glowing." ????

- ITS A SUBMARINE

5x8

- back at the club.

- who are these people.

- well, that's that.

- Dix....ivy's medicine?

- Ed cut his hair :(

- "I had to get us lunch. And I got Dale."

- EXAMINING HIS OWN NAILS WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS ...

- didn't....Penn die?

- HES THE VENTRILOQUIST?

- Whadda hell ....

- the horror sewers

- I love the dummy thing

- DALE. LMFAO

- she died....at Arkham....a couple of years ago ....wouldn't be, a couple of years ago, when strange discovered reanimation? couldn't be, right?

- okay. well. it is.

- this is interesting though I don't know what it's about.

- Jane doe. Huh.

- my guess is killer croc.

- they're implying Scarface is actually magical/Alive

- the girls are fightingggg

- "honestly, you deserve this. Your loyalty is....shaky, at best."

- "how do you feel....about submarines?"

- ok so just a zombie then?

- CLASSIC imposter situation....

- Barbara's like. Hell no I'm not being damsel in distressed

- "wait what's the signal"

- "I was not a good friend. To you or anyone. It's why I'm alone."

- ED?

- "I accept you for the person that you are....and as friends, I think we can agree that lunatic had to be stopped."

- "perhaps, Edward....we really are meant for each other." Yeah sure. 'friendship'

- he killed her? he killed her.

- how does killing her make anything right.

- "....forgiveness? I can't give that to you." "I just needed you to know."

5x9

- "it's like you won't be satisfied until you sacrifice yourself." truth

- millionth time he's been shot

- Selina and Bruce in a creepy house. For a date?

- why can't Harvey dent be in these things. this is HIS theme

- "it wasn't (fate). it was Jeremiah blowing up your house." say it

- hey ivy.

- Oswald got punched just cuz he's punchable

- "look at the window, stupid!"

- ah. The guy Selina beat up a while ago.

- okay. this jim part is kind ooooof boring it's like yeah no we got it we know how Jim is

- "okey dokey. Time to boogie."

- "like, actual roses, they're great."

- ivy.....

- aw Alfred dad moments.

- people. Ugh.

- Barbara Kean is THE girlboss.

- "your best never seems good enough."

- i hope Lee stabs the fuck out of her

- why does this ivy suck so bad. she's so not fun

- FUCK YEAH LEE

- Harveys wearing eds stupid suit.

- THE LAUGH

- it's weird I like lee fine she's still good but it's like last season didn't even happen.

- a month? timeskip?

- okay. A wedding. Whatever.

- nobody laughed at what Harvey said cuz it was true.

- what the fuck is this episode. is this like. A lifetime original ???

- Oswald bitching about it. is pretty funny.

5x10

- god. another villain introduction. girl we got TWO episodes left 😭

- reunification day. feels like it came so fast this season was five seconds long

- so, it's been nine months overall....and over a year since the bridges fell.

- the idiots are preparing to launch their fucking submarine.

- and we gotta build the batcave bro

- and now banes gonna come fuck it all up.

- Gotham as a show....it never changes. it starts interesting and then begins to unravel into full bore dumbassery as it continues.

- "we're not going anywhere." Barbara took it.

- god. is that Talia

- it's Talia. Has to be.

- Nyssa? so. not that.

- of course. Hugo strange .

- "but for the record, you stabbed me first."

- "but you did though. you pointed the gun at the baby."

- Barbara and Lee have the worst idiots possible to help out with this childbirth

- "bon voyage."

- HIT WITH A GODDAMN CAR!

- they grievously injured Alfred AGAIN.

- Jim you stupid bitch. NEVER say that don't you know you're in a tv show

5x11

- Baby drama

- he feels bad about it. This is MY city

- I'm going to follow my heart

- ...but perhaps you could learn something

- I'm gonna miss you edward.....THE DOG.

- Nightwing project. HRM.

- a beacon to certain animals....

- you have a remarkably recognizable odor. Part dandy, part snake.

- he loves Gotham just as much as Gordon does.

- AWWW ED CAME BACK.

- I love Gotham. Final boss fight is just The American Military led by Bane

- lee has to return to the narrows.

- he saved "Eddie". Ok.

- upsy daisy, Oswald.

- "I'm sorry..." "It's the least I could do."

- "they did sacrifice everything."

- "you both love getting stabbed by this knife."

- BANE GETTING GOT BY BATS? LMFAOOOO

- love that Oswald put the shades back on over the fucking eye patch. #girl

- AND THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP COMES IN WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!

- SHES TAKING THE SUBMARINE?

- THE DOG!

- Barbara Lee Gordon. Technically doesn't that make her a Barbara Jr.

- THAT BITCH STOLE OUR SUBMARINE!

- those drab....boring...people

- common criminals? never again.

- he's kinda losing it again. But that's okay.

- "we would be stronger together. No one could stop us."

- "yeah, perhaps....."

- "we will take what we want, from who we want, and we will suffer no fools."

- "together."

- "a hug it is."

- life begins anew.

- shall we get to work?

- and commissioner Gordon.

- HE DIDNT TELL SELINA GOODBYE? DICKHEAD

- I'd be pissed as fuck at him too.

5x12

- here we go. Last Gotham episode.....4ever

- TEN YEARS LATER .

- MUSTACHED GORDON.

- this bitch is STILL mayor?

- he has a baby. And Barbara looks more like the comics.

- EDDIE! with the long hair too.

- I knew him. Back in the day.

- Jeremiah baldification

- ECCO.....

- HE SHAVED IT FOR BRUCE.

- quite the girl around town....

- no cat ears for Selina 🥺

- I don't really like that they recast her but none of the full adults.

- who are they so scared of?

- a letter from Oswald.

- THE MONOCLE.....AND ITS BLUE LIKE MOONEYS

- it's Batman.......

- and the top hat. penguin 🐧

- back at the pier. It ends as it begins, and it is beginning again.

- wait.....did he NOT break Ed out? then, who did?

- "you locked me up like an animal." like. a well. Animal in the zoo.....not saying which one. I think you can guess.

- Edward is slaying.

- the tie. The tinted glasses.

- "honey, I'm still amazing."

- "didn't you do that already?" "ITS A CALLBACK!"

- it's the joker. duh.

- "I'm not. But I thought you might need some help.".

- "it's good to see you." THWAP

- HE TIED THEM UP. LIKE A GODDAMN CARTOON.

- ecco is so fucking great.

- "then again, there was another me, too."

- "no longer my echo. There'll never be another like you.... But I suppose there are other fish in the sea."

- "is there a Jeremiah here?"

- looove it. he's a fun joker actually.

- BATMAAAANNN

- "like hell."

- Oswald and Edward breaking out. And promptly deciding they did not feel like fucking with Batman

- that is not.....fantastic looking

END OF SEASON 5. END OF SERIES

#mouse watches gotham

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myfairstarlight · 8 months

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A Joyous Fair

AO3 Link.

Rating: G

Pairings: Susato Mikotoba/Haori Murasame (Rei Membami). Side Kazuma Asogi/Ryunosuke Naruhodo + mentioned Gina Lestrade/Maria Gorey

Written for Susahao Week 2022. Day 3: AU/Modern Day

Word count: 3k

-ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-

Susato finds herself almost longing for the time when Kazuma was not very fond of parties or outings, too focused on his studies and her to even care about making friends. Then he went to college and started his internship at Wright Anything Agency where he met the boss’ younger cousin who, Susato has to assume, developed an instant crush and kept inviting Kazuma to various outings over the months.

Her brother is, like always, completely oblivious to the whole ordeal and Susato almost feels bad for Ryunosuke. But she mostly feels bad for herself because she finds herself to be the one person the guy decides to confide his unsuccessful attempts at dates to.

“I’ve tried every trick in the books!” Ryunosuke complains that day, once again, while Susato is trying to do her homework on the stairs leading towards the Asogi residence, waiting for Kazuma to show up. After starting university, Kazuma moved out to move into his parents’ old house that he still owned as per Genshin Asogi’s will, since the house was closer to Ivy University but also his internship and he wanted some independence, Susato supposes, even if he’s close enough that she and their father can visit often.

The Mikotoba house sure is much quieter now that Kazuma isn’t there every day, though.

“Crazy idea but have you considered telling him you’re taking him on dates?”

"You can give me lessons when you finally figure out what’s going on with you and Haori, alright?” Ryunosuke replies.

Susato’s pen slips, creating a hard line across a complicated equation she just figured out in her head and now everything has vanished from her mind. Haori may be her one weakness. She met the girl only at the beginning of the year since their lockers were next to each other, and Haori single-handedly put a dent in Susato’s study-focused mind with a simple smile and a gentle “hi”. Before she could understand it, Susato found herself drawn to her and slowly, but surely, she found her way into the friend group Haori already had, befriending Gina and then Gina’s girlfriend Maria with relative ease.

It took a few weeks and a lot of teasing from her family to realise that what she was feeling was a crush. She can’t be blamed, she thought she’d never meet anyone who could elicit the passionate feelings she reads in novels.

“That’s completely different!” she objects. “Pretty sure she’s straight anyway. My brother is not and he does not hide it.”

“Uh uh,” Ryunosuke says, thoroughly unconvinced.

Susato sighs. “Listen, there’s a fair next weekend. Go to the haunted house with him or the Ferris Wheel!”

“Susato, I am terrified of both.”

“Even more perfect, you’ll have an excuse to cling to him!” Susato counters and to her merit, Ryunosuke actually considers the option. “Or you can try to win him one of those giant stuffed animals, he loves those. Don’t tell him I told you that though.”

“They’re rigged though.”

“Well, you’re not wrong about that. It’s the effort that counts though?”

Ryunosuke doesn’t get to reply because Kazuma suddenly appears, his shadow looming over them as he looks over Susato’s homework.

“Your second answer is wrong,” her brother says and she promptly closes her notebook. One thing she didn’t miss is Kazuma monitoring her work, she has enough to catch up to when she intends on pursuing the same career as him, already.

“Took you long enough, Kazuma,” Ryunosuke says as he stands up.

“Lost my binder somewhere and all my other ones were in the wash,” Kazuma replies with a shrug. “So, what were you talking about?”

“The fair next weekend,” Susato promptly answers. “I was telling Ryunosuke it would be a nice break. It’s after your exams too, isn’t it? And it would be the beginning of my break.”

Kazuma hums. “You think I can manage to drag Barok to it? Dude really needs to loosen up but he’s allergic to parties.”

Susato catches Ryunosuke pouting at the mention of the TA in Kazuma’s criminal justice course. The man is a social recluse and yet apparently Kazuma has bothered him enough to become some sort of friends. From what Susato understands, Kazuma’s late father and Barok’s late brother used to know each other. Susato met him one afternoon as she visited Kazuma and Barok was there, helping her brother with an assignment. Never mind that the assignment was not about criminal justice whatsoever but she didn’t exactly dare make a remark under the intimidating gaze of the British man.

They’re not dating, as far as Susato is aware, and Barok seems too emotionally constipated for that anyway. She is rooting for Ryunosuke, but she struggles to understand if her brother is even interested in either of them.

“Should we invite Herlock too then?” Ryunosuke says, the TA in his English Literature class.

“No way! Then dad will want to come, I love him but I don’t need him over my shoulder the whole day,” Susato protests. “I can bring Gina, Maria and Haori though.”

“Wait no, we need to invite Herlock, so Iris will be there and she can convince Barok to come!” Kazuma counters. “He’d never miss the opportunity to see his niece.”

“But dad will embarrass us!” Susato does not whine. “And why are you so hellbent on bringing Barok anyway?”

“Have you seen him? He looks like a vampire, I want to drag him to the haunted house and see if he’d scare them. Or if anything fazes him. Really, I just want to get a reaction out of him outside of annoyance.”

“I— You know what, I’m curious too now.”

Ryunosuke sends her a betrayed look.

“I know! We must do this. Oh, and I’ve heard there will be a love tunnel this year…” Kazuma trails off suggestively. “I know who to trap in there.”

“You can’t really force people on rides though…” Ryunosuke comments. “Also Barok would kill you.”

“Who said he’s the one I wanna trap there?” Kazuma grins like the Cheshire Cat. “Come on partner, your deductions are usually better than that.”

“Um…”

Susato tunes them out for the rest of the way to the library as she texts Haori the plan for next weekend.

-ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-

In the end, Kazuma drags both Barok and Ryunosuke to the haunted house first — he’s holding their hands for god’s sake — and Susato watches them with a bemused smile on her lips. It seems her brother’s obliviousness has reached such an absurd level, he isn’t even aware of how his actions look to the outsider and how both Ryunosuke and Barok follow him like docile puppies.

“Should we go to the haunted house too?” Susato asks Haori who stiffens. She chuckles. “I’ll take that as a no.”

“I’d hate to accidentally hurt an actor, you know my first instinct is to punch when I’m scared…” Haori says and yeah, Susato knows, she does that while watching scary movies too. She just punches the air before hiding behind her sleeves, which is greatly endearing. “And— wait, where are Gina and Maria?”

A look around gives them the answer. Maria is dragging a reluctant Gina towards the haunted house as well. Maria might as well have stars in her eyes as she stares up at the attraction before going in, Gina’s arm firmly in her hands.

“Guess everyone went in,” Susato comments and now she actually is curious to know if it is worth the hype. She hardly ever is scared herself.

“Your dad, Iris and Herlock decided on the Ferris Wheel instead, I’d rather go there.”

Susato looks at her sceptically. She knows Haori handles heights as much as Ryunosuke, which means not at all.

“Let’s go try to win some prizes,” Susato decides instead.

Haori frowns. “But they’re rigged.” Wow, she and Ryunosuke really would get on well if they spent more time together.

“And I’m determined.”

“Susato… don’t,” her friend sighs.

“Now I’m taking it as a challenge.”

Haori smiles, fond and exasperated. “In those moments I realise how much alike you and your brother are.”

-ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-

So they go through every stand, Haori convincing Susato to only try each game once so they don’t waste too much money. Susato manages to win multiple small plushies from claw machines, a bubble-making thingy from the ring tosser game that Susato suspects won’t last more than a week, nothing from the basketball one — Haori had to physically drag her away — and by the time they reach the shooting range game, Kazuma and Ryunosuke have exited the haunted house and joined them.

“Where’s Barok?” Susato asks, deciding to ignore how pale Ryunosuke looks and how he’s clinging to Kazuma’s headband as if his life depended on it.

“With Iris. She and I may have pushed dad and Herlock into the queue for the love tunnel, so,” Kazuma answers, oh so that’s who he wanted to trap there. “I had promised her and Barok to find a way to get them out of the way for a bit.”

“Ryunosuke, are you okay…?” Haori eventually asks.

Ryunosuke shakily nods. “F-Fine.”

“He accidentally punched an actor in an attempt to protect me and he still feels bad about it,” Kazuma says, looking fond. “But anyway, have you managed to win anything interesting? I’ve been eyeing that huge teddy bear over there…”

“Hah! No way, I will be winning that one for Haori!” Susato exclaims.

Before Haori or Kazuma could respond to that, Ryunosuke suddenly seems to regain his senses and steps forward, facing Susato head-on. “Absolutely not, I will.”

“What?” Both Haori and Kazuma ask, thoroughly confused.

“This is a shooting range, Ryunosuke,” she reminds him. “We both know who has the advantage here with a gun.”

“But I have a better aim than you as an archer.”

“Guns and bows are very different weapons though,” Kazuma points out but Ryunosuke cuts him off with a hand on his mouth.

“Shush partner, I’m doing this for you.”

And Susato is momentarily distracted when she sees her brother falter and blush. She chances a glance at Haori who is equally stunned at the sight. Her eyes meet her friend’s and a silent conversation ensues.

You don’t mind if I let him win right?

Absolutely not.

I’ll win you another teddy bear later.

Oh, Susato you don’t need to.

I insist!

Ryunosuke clears his throat, handing her a rifle. “So?”

Susato smiles. “You’re on.”

-ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-

“You think he noticed you purposely missed the targets?” Haori inquires later, now carrying a medium-sized teddy bear Susato ended up winning instead of the giant one.

Susato huffs as she tries to rearrange her hair without a mirror. A few rogue strands had fallen off during her friendly competition with Ryunosuke at the shooting range. Sure, she let him win but purposely missing targets was surprisingly difficult, ok?

“Probably not. Kazuma did, though.”

“Hey, let me…�� Haori starts, handing her the teddy bear before standing behind her. Susato frowns, about to ask her what she is doing, when she feels careful fingers tread through her hair, undoing the knots and taking away her hair ties.

Soon enough, long bangs fall over her eyes and she blows on them to regain some kind of vision.

“I constantly forget your hair is longer than mine,” Haori muses.

“I probably should get a haircut soon…” Susato replies. Or ask Kazuma when he has the time.

“Are you ever gonna cut it short?”

Mm. Susato thought about it but she likes being able to try so many different hairstyles. “Don’t think so,” she settles for saying.

She feels a pin being secured at the back of her head as Haori continues to carefully comb her hair with idle fingers.

“Watching Ryunosuke and Kazuma… it made me wonder…” Susato starts tentatively, earning an inquisitive hum from her friend. “Have you ever thought of dating?”

The fingers pause in her hair. “Have you? You’ve always been so focused on school…”

“That’s not answering my question.”

A beat passes before Haori resumes putting Susato’s hair up, another pin being secured on the side of her head, carefully removing one big strand that was obscuring Susato’s view.

“I have,” Haori answers eventually. Yeah, Susato suspected as much, out of the two of them, Haori has always been the most vocal about the crushes she gets. “But it wouldn’t amount to anything.”

“How can you be sure?”

Haori doesn’t reply for a while, opting to focus instead on finishing Susato’s hair in silence. Susato indulges her, instinctively clutching the teddy bear in her arms a bit more strongly than needed. In the distance, she can still see their friends go about around the fair. The sun is starting to set and yet, no one seems preoccupied with it, or tired from a whole day running around.

Susato hasn’t felt this much bliss in a long time since Kazuma moved out.

Finally, the last pin is secured and Haori walks back in front of her, prying the teddy bear away from her arms with gentle, if not a little trembling hands. Susato takes a steady breath as she lifts her eyes to meet the grey of her friend’s.

“So… who is it?” Susato asks then.

Haori falters, smile a bit more uncertain as her cheeks turn pink. “Susato…” Susato nods and waits. A beat passes. Haori sighs. “… You’re as oblivious as your brother.”

“I—!”

“That was my answer, it’s you,” Haori confesses. “But, ah, I know it made you uncomfortable that one time I actually tried to be more straightforward and flirt with you so. Honestly, I’m just happy to be your friend.” Susato stares, the words not computing in her mind, apparently. “Uh… I broke you. I’m just gonna—”

“Wait!” Susato panics, grabbing Haori’s hand before she could walk away. “I just— needed to be sure I wasn’t dreaming. When was that?”

Haori frowns, now holding the teddy bear in one arm. “Uh, I don’t know, sometime last month? Oh! It was after our English class while we were reading from Romeo and Juliet.”

“Wait, really?” She remembers that day, she had decided to dress more masculine as an experiment after Kazuma had encouraged her and lent her some of his clothes that surprisingly fit — which made her feel giddy. It just happened that that day they also had to study Romeo and Juliet in class and she volunteered to read as Romeo while Haori joyfully volunteered for Juliet.

And she does remember Haori being a little more flirty after the class but she had wrongfully assumed it was because she decided to be more masculine that day and she was staying somewhat in character—

Haori clears her throat. “Listen I’m embarrassed enough—”

“Can I kiss you?” Susato blurts out.

Silence. They stare at each other, the two of them breathless, somehow, and Susato feels like her heart is about to burst.

“Alright I feel like we jumped a hundred steps here,” Haori chuckles, looking away and half-hiding behind the teddy bear.

She gotta stop being so cute.

“I’d like to think of it as catching up,” Susato counters, tightening her hold on her friend’s hand. “I thought you only liked guys.”

“Wow, you’ve really been oblivious, huh.”

“Hey!”

Haori laughs, this time more from a genuine feeling of joy than out of nervousness. “I guess I can’t fault you, I only talked about my silly boy crushes with you but every time I was actually talking about you. I thought you would have connected the dots eventually, but turns out that’s one subject where you don’t excel.”

There’s this guy… always has his nose in a book. We don’t share a lot of classes but he always makes sure to greet me and ask me if I’ve done all the work.

Oh, this other guy always holds the door for me and he bows when I thank him! I mean it’s a little much but it’s cute.

This boy is so smart but he never makes me feel like I’m dumb either, you know? He helps me with homework and stuff and it’s nice.

Maria and Gina are getting so tired of hearing me talk about this boy, but I can’t help it! He just has the sweetest smile and is always so confident, God, I wonder what it must feel like, to have his undivided attention. I’d feel like the luckiest girl on earth!

Haori was talking about her all these times?

“You could have told me…” she whispers, full of wonder and relief.

Haori smiles. “Well, you never showed any interest in any of this romance stuff and I didn’t want to impose, I don’t know. I did ask Kazuma for advice once and he just sighed. Like!” She huffs. “One question and he looked like he wanted to die from exasperation! Rude. Your brother is rude.”

“Yeah, that’s probably my fault,” Susato groans, fighting the urge to hide behind her hands now. “I’ve bothered him about my crush on you ever since I met you.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.”

“Huh.”

A pause. Susato suddenly laughs. “We’re kind of idiots.”

Haori smiles, her hand turning in Susato’s so their fingers interlock. “I guess we are.”

“So… what now?”

“I’ve never seen you so unsure of yourself, it’s almost refreshing,” Haori teases gently. “Well now, let me thank you for today and all the gifts you won for me.”

And perhaps it is always meant to be this simple, Susato thinks idly, as she lets herself be pulled forward and gentle lips meet her own in a chaste kiss. Haori’s floral scent envelops her senses, wrapping around her heart like a luring spell. Susato smiles against her lips, bringing her free hand to the other girl’s cheek, cradling her face closer.

“Does this count as our first date, then?” Haori asks eventually when they pull away.

“If it is I definitely need to win you a real giant teddy bear now!” she replies.

“Susato…”

But Susato only grins, leading the both of them back to the shooting range stand.

In the end, this whole outing was kind of a quadruple date. Next time, I want us to be alone though.

-ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-

#susahao #susahao fic #susahao week 2022 #susarei #the great ace attorney #dai gyakuten saiban #dgs spoilers #tgaa spoilers #my fics

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loregoddess · 1 year

Note

Diamont from Fire Emblem Engage for 002. Serenoa, Federica, Benedict, Roland, and Geela for 003 - for the send character asks

*claps hands together* I should finally start talking Engage characters, shouldn't I? Thoughts on Diamant under the cut bc they're very long, and also riddled with spoilers for supports and a vague mention of some of the ending details.

For the Character Ranking though...

Frederica

Serenoa

Roland

Benedict

Geela

(I do love all of them a lot, so it's hard to rank them honestly...)

Diamant

How I feel about this character: Wonderful character, one of my favorites. He strikes a really interesting balance of "outward confidence and calm" with his own internal struggles with anxiety and fear, and the fact that he both strives to appear "perfect and flawless" in contrast with how he's constantly telling others that no one is perfect and that it's okay to be flawed is hmmm, very good. Heartbreaking, but very, very good.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Engage is absolutely one of the games that I have many ships I am fond of, and somehow Diamant is one of the few characters who I don't really ship with anyone. Go figure.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Love his dynamic with Amber and Jade, and he's a surprisingly good brother to Alcryst too. I also loved his supports with Timerra bc she drags him SO FAR out of his comfort zone, but in a way that's not really malicious or too shocking for him. He also has really interesting dynamics with both Alfred and Ivy, and I enjoyed their supports together because it really does the heavy "show, don't tell" lifting of setting up the "and then all four countries are at peace" ending, bc like, we actually get to see the foundation of those peaceful relations being built in the support conversations. Phenomenal work, really. His supports with Veyle are also top-tier, I really want to know how that spicy food eating contest turned out.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I guess that I don't....ship him with anyone, not even his popular ships of Alear, Alfred, or Ivy. Also I think his fear of fire magic significantly outweighs his fear of caterpillars, and that he told Alear the caterpillar thing as a way of deflecting and hiding his actual weakness.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Hmm, I feel like the story covered all the key points that I would have thought "needed" to be covered, considering the plot length and stuff. I guess I'd want, unsurprisingly, more information about his non-existent mom, and how her presence or death had shaped him and Alcryst as children growing up.

my OTP: I'd like for him to be shipped with some healthier anxiety/stress management habits. Staying up all night and then deciding not to go to sleep is so unhealthy (although we do know he gets sleep from Alcryst's supports with Celine, so that's...nice, at least).

my cross over ship: My one crossover ship also contains no characters from any FE game. And it's still a secret to everyone.

a headcanon fact: I don't have too many headcanons bc I'm still letting the story and characters simmer in my head, but I think Amber gives all his friends, and especially Diamant and Jade, alpaca-wool sweaters as gifts at some point or another. Alpaca-wool sweaters become a fashion trend in Brodia bc Diamant is seen wearing them on occasion.

#I still haven't chosen a most favorite character for Engage but Diamant is very high on the list #although considering that I actually don't dislike any of the characters I dunno how much that's saying #fe17 spoilers #alynnl #I still don't have an ask tag

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rachelillustrates · 3 years

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Comic review time!

Some thoughts on the Harlivy section of “Love is a Battlefield.”

(Featuring crappy cell phone photos taken as I was reading it on a computer that is not my own, so proper screencaps were not an option.)

🍃💞 Spoilers follow. 💞🍃

Okay, so even though I had read some reviews that accurately called out the toeing-the-line style queerphobia that we so often get with these two Wives, I still went and bought this. I can’t help but hope that voting with our dollars for all Harlivy content that acknowledges them as together, even if they don’t explicitly show it, will lead to more content about them that is open about their love (”Kisses, please.”) ❤

On that note - I haven’t read the rest of the book yet, having jumped right to the section on my girls. But I have been informed that the hetero-presenting couples do get explicit smooches, and that is extremely irritating, in the face of what we got here. We do get a forehead kiss, some decent hand-holding and a very interesting ending (more on that below), but it’s all written in a way that the homophobes/queerphobes could write them off as Gal Pals, again, if they really want to.

To be fair, though, if I clearly spent my whole adult life with someone in a more-than-friends kind of way, after “accidentally” getting into bed with them after they “accidentally” propositioned me as a joke, and then ended my elderly years with them the way this ended....... that’s gay, folks. Hands down.

That said, I did actually enjoy this story. It reads romantic to me from an asexual/demisexual perspective, which feels very Ivy to me, so that was kind of nice in and of itself (which doesn’t make the lack of obvious, undeniably physical-romantic evidence fair, per se, but we do live in a world that hypersexualizes everything, and this reads a bit like a Regency/Victorian romance in a sense, to me - with the tamer-than-usual standards of physical affection in public and the undeniable loyalty to each other, regardless. So yeah, I couldn’t help but like the vibe).

Here’s some specific moments I have some thoughts on, for the good:

So this one, and this dialogue, just struck me on a personal level because of how my Wife and I are together. She’s not very fond of people either, and my emotional breakdowns are a lot to handle, so I could see us here, and I appreciate that a lot. As always, the fact that Harley is ivy’s exception in her hatred of humanity never ever ever reads as anything other than romantic to me. There is an inherent queerness in that and I am Here For It.

Again. “Accidentally” misunderstanding. “Accidentally” propositioning. You lived to touch *Ivy* again, Harls. That is specific language. Not to mention the fact that Harley touched Ivy enough to get a rash everywhere means that Ivy didn’t just shove her out of bed. Ahem.

And as always, the fact that Ivy made a point to immunize Harley against her toxins is also inherently queer, even without the language choices noted above. If she didn’t intend to follow through with physical romantic affection, she wouldn’t have needed to do that, in that moment or in the future - she could have just warned Harley off and been more careful around her, herself. So obviously, if you put any thought into this fact at all, it’s clear what the intention was.

(The problem is that many people don’t put any thought into it, so unfortunately we need more blatant evidence of their romance, over and over again, to shut the homophobes and denialists down. Which is SO FRUSTRATING, since no one ever questions if Bruce is with Selina, or if Clark is with Lois, whether they ship it or not - they admit that its there, regardless.)

Including this brief moment because even though it’s subtle, Ivy reaching for Harley in a situation where they’re both in danger is a nice touch.

And same thing, here. They’ve obviously been through a lot in the situation they’re referencing, and Harley’s instinct as her Pam-a-Lamb makes an uneasy alliance is to hold on to her. Solidarity, support. Protective, too, with the guarded look on Harley’s face. I like it.

Aaaaaaand now we get to the bittersweet ending - I’m including this shot because, even though deathbed-side hand holding can be done platonically too, it’s obviously not platonic here if you weigh it against what we’ve already seen. This is the love of Ivy’s life, dying in front of her, and it’s intense. You can see in in everything - her posture, her expression, the fact that she’s folded Harley’s hand into both of hers.

But then:

Instead of getting very emotional about it, Ivy has already (and of COURSE she did!) come up with a solution. I’ve seen this referenced as them choosing to die together - but that’s not how it reads to me, at all. I see this as them choosing to live again, taking the chance at a brand new start.

Ivy doesn’t want to die here, but she doesn’t want to live, as she is, without Harley in her life. If they hadn’t done this? Ivy would have passed away too, eventually - the fact that she’s aged right alongside Harls is evidence of that. And then they’d be at the mercy of whatever afterlife may or may not be there - maybe not even reunited in death, if there’s an afterlife at all.

So of course she leans on science, she leans on the Green, to give them both another chance.

They’re choosing life. And they’re choosing it in the face of the uncertainty of memory loss - what if they don’t feel the same, in their new forms?

But then Harley says this:

How can I not love that? 💞🍃🌱

(Also, fanart will be coming of their new forms - since we didn’t get that, what the hell DC - if/when I’m able to get to it. I’m very busy, but the idea of this new life for them is captivating.)

(In the meantime, more of my existing Harlivy work is available here, among other meta and inspiration posts.)

(And my original comic work is available here.)

Thanks for reading!

#harlivy #comic review #otp #inspiration #demisexual poison ivy #demisexual #demisexual pamela isley #queer #lgbtqia #lgbtq comics #meta #or metaish #harley x ivy #harley quinn #poison ivy #dc comics

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alicemitch09writes · 3 years

Text

the babysitter

pairing: reader x peter parker

summary: Babysitting the little Stark is an adventure, of some sorts. Well, being a (adopted) Stark is an adventure in itself. However, nobody told Peter Parker about the Stark babysitter.

author’s notes: I love Morgan Stark. I would die for her. Kill for her. MURDER even, just to keep her safe. Also, I love how easy we can just make her and Peter come together because they’re Stark’s kids (one biological, one is a sort of surrogate). Also, this idea is a common trope but eh, what’s not to love about it? Had to tweak it a bit by making reader two years older. And yay, I finally got to finish this before its initial release date (which is on Valentine's haha sorry yes am cliche like that sue me).

also available on ao3.

disclaimer: i own NOTHING but the plot.

"Ah, shit."

"Shit!"

You froze, quickly turning on your heel to find a mass of brown hair and big brown doe-like eyes, filled with innocence and mischief all at once.

"Morgan! What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you," she replied easily, tilting her head to the side. "Mommy said she has something to say to you."

"Oh, really now?" releasing a breath - not really shaky but something sort of relief, frustration, and a little bit of nervousness, you kneel to her level, tucking strands of hair behind her ear. "How long have you been looking for me?"

"A few minutes. Maybe 30."

With a smile, you get up. "Well, best not keep her waiting!"

Morgan giggles, seeing through you. She was always too sharp for her age.

You smile with her, a painful tug at your heart when you see the twinkle in her eye - an all too familiar twinkle.

Swallowing the dread, you plaster a quick smile and get to your feet. "Come on now, munchkin!"

She willingly lets you take her in your arms, walking along the compound down to Mrs. Stark's office.

Your relationship with the infamous CEO of Stark Industries was that you’re her cousin's daughter, making her your aunt-in-law. And in the absence of said cousin - your father, as he lived far off or on the other side of the planet, and after some unfortunate events, you were under Pepper's care.

Well, at least for the last 8 years of your life.

And since then, you could always remember how uptight, stern, and organized she was. It came with her job apparently. As was being stressed 24/7 because she had been dealing with the one and only Iron Man, Tony Stark.

Pepper had a great way of dealing with things, keeping some things to a T, and to keep a cool head with it all. Also, she was adamant about keeping you from Tony, away from the epitome of a machine of a man that he was. Oh, many were the nights where you were a witness to just how frustrating the man was, to how much Pepper had to keep herself from breaking down. You were not very fond of him – to say the least, you kinda hated him.

But upon meeting the man, later on, you found that he wasn't all that bad. In fact, he reminded you a lot of your father - workaholic to an extreme, and a bit of a softie. Just big on his ego.

As an added bonus, he completely won you over for being the guy for Pepper after deciding that you weren’t some runt after all.

After the events of Ultron, Tony decided to take you in and take you as if you were his own, treating you like his little assistant. (As he wasn't comfortable with having kids just yet.) You were pretty young, Pepper had that argument too and was fairly backed by Happy, but Tony was all, ‘then best start them young!’ and all went his way, one way or another. You were a smart cookie, at least that’s what Tony said, Pepper added that, and Rhodey – who still didn’t want to force something on to someone so young. And thus, your life with the Stark-Potts couple would never be the same - for better or for worse.

After the Accords, however, things were different. Much different. Both Tony and Pepper were never the same even way before that, but the former looked like a hollow of a man he once was.

As much as Pepper had more rights over you, she didn't want to be unfair and cut you off from Tony completely, and thus, let you do as you please. Honestly, it hurt having to go back and forth between the two, seeing two of the strongest people in your life thread on thin ice. Try as you might, you even attempted to get the two together only to end up with nothing. Happy was there, at least, to make you sane and moving. Rhodey, who still scares you, keeps you in check and on your toes.

However, things managed.

Then a lot of things happened: Tony and Pepper finally patched things up, finally got married - you were Pepper's maid of honor, you were whisked to some Ivy League thanks to Pepper and Tony’s recommendations, Tony suddenly was whisked away to the stars to save the universe, some war FRIDAY relayed in Wakanda, and then half the population turning to dust. A week later, Tony came back - with new friends from different galaxies, you all moved far away – far away from the Avengers, Tony insisted you to help Pepper to keep you busy, Morgan was born, you finished university, and were working on a master’s degree.

And then...Tony-

God, just the thought of him - what he did - still chokes you up. It hurt to hear from Pepper what had happened, to see her – the strongest iron lady you know and love – break into a million pieces, crumbling to the ground and disregarding every rule about grace and poise. Tony. He was like a father to you, the best and worst one you could ever ask for.

After his passing, you made it a point to keep his legacy alive, to ensure that it was protected at all cost - Morgan.

You loved the littlest Stark with all your heart, like the little sister you wished you had. Ever since she was born, already, you vowed to keep her from anything.

She was Tony's legacy.

Well, one of many...

There was that kid from Tennessee, Harley Keener, whom you had the chance and pleasure to be acquainted with.

And then there was-

"Who're you?" a voice asked behind you, breathlessly, curiously.

Turning on your heel, you found a guy - brown hair, pale skin, average height, fit in build, looked like he was around your age - walking in, looking like he had run a marathon.

Scrunching your nose, not really like the way he was trying to piece who you were, you fixed him a questioning look. "I'm-"

"(NAME)!" a bubbly voice called behind you, causing the two of you to turn.

Eyes widening, they then relax, you then sagged in relief and all but ran towards the little girl, taking her in your arms.

"There you are! Where've you been, you?" you ask, tucking strands of hair away from her face.

Giggling mirthlessly, eyes twinkling with mischief, she replied. "Nowhere~"

You rolled your eyes at that, playfully. Her grin grows, eyes crinkling when her lips lift, exposing dimples.

Looking over your shoulder, you nearly forgot the guy behind you, hoisting Morgan up.

"Oh, I'm (Name)," you tell him. "but I think you got that already."

The younger teen looks from the brunette in your arms to you, the cogs in his head whirring. "Are you...?"

"Nope, I'm just a babysitter." Quick to dismiss his question, you shake your head lightly. "An on call at that."

"Ah," was the only thing he could say, not sure what to say next.

"Peter!" the girl in your arms says, a smile still in check.

"Morgan, hey." he walks up, about two feet away.

It was your turn to look between him and the brunette in your arms, fixing an inquisitive look as to the cogs in your head begin to turn - two and two adding up. You did hear things from Pepper, Happy, and Tony.

Like a light bulb moment, you pointed at him. "You're the Spider-Man, aren't you?"

First, he sputters, face morphing into a look of surprise, shock, and embarrassment which ends with his face flushing to the tips of his ears.

Little did he know that you knew long before his cover had been blown.

"Don't worry. Happy's not really that good at keeping a secret." You assure him. At that, Morgan chuckles. You chuckle with her, sharing a knowing look as you bump your noses together. "Well, more like, he's slipping."

"Or getting old!" Morgan chirps.

You share a laugh, again. This time, Peter joins in.

"Anyway, is there something or anything you needed?" you asked, remembering his sudden appearance, adjusting your hold on Morgan, who now was resting her head on the crook of your neck.

"Oh...I, uh, I was just..." he fumbles, fidgeting with his fingers as you stand there, patiently waiting for him to finish his sentence. "...um, I was told to come over...?"

Puzzled, your brows narrowed together. "By who?"

"Me." A voice booms, you all turn, staring at a dark-skinned man donning familiar colors. A taller man stands by him, almost like a shadow.

In the years under Tony and Pepper’s tutelage, months spent and having unlimited access to nearly everything that is related to the Avengers, you found yourself in contact with the new Captain America and his trusty companion, the Winter Soldier.

At first, it was quite intimidating. They were intimidating. But soon, you found yourself warming up to them. They were like brothers, you adored them so much.

Suddenly, the room felt like there was purpose as the two men strode in, and you felt even smaller in their presence.

Just as you motioned to leave, Morgan pipes up, “Sam! Bucky!”

Over time, Peter became a familiar face in the compound.

Aside from helping clean up the mess that Quentin Beck and his lackeys did to the poor boy, he was also heralding in for his part with the new Avengers - Sam Wilson, now bestowed with the mantle of Captain America, with the infamous Winter Soldier, Sgt. James Barnes, as his right hand, much to the displeasure of many governments.

Then again, who were they to decide what's best for this world when they knew nothing of the battles these brave men fought for? Who were they to decide who carries the mantle? It's not theirs, government-issued or not.

Also, in the past years of their hiding, and fighting off Zeemo, they've proven themselves countless times and earned the hearts of many. Whether they like it or not, they were the best choice to serve and defend the innocent.

For Peter Parker, physically 18 years old, filling in his spot for the team was huge.

He was in leagues with a whole bunch of other heroes – Hulk, Dr. Bruce Banner; War Machine, James Rhodes; Scarlet Witch, Wanda Maximoff; Dr. Strange, Dr. Stephen Strange; Ant-Man, Scott Lang; Wasp, Hope Van Dymme; and off the grid were the Asgardians of the Galaxy, and Carvol Danvers, Captain Marvel. Just to name a few. Sure enough, there would be more heroes coming in, it’s only a matter of time after all.

It was a big world - universe, rather.

Eventually, the kid also grew on you, for many reasons. But in those many reasons, it also felt kind of weird - you werethree years older than him. Physically speaking.

He would have been 23, just three years older than you, had he not been snapped away. Or blipped away.

Yawning, you leaned back, stretching your arms overhead. Peeking back at your laptop, to your dismay you found that was still 10 in the morning, there was still a lot of work to do!

Groaning, you made sure to drag on said groan as you massaged the back of your neck. There were a bunch of emails to check, some invitations to decline, and one Thaddeus Ross to bitch about-

“Coffee?”

At the sound of the voice, you looked up and were met with soft brown eyes belonging to one Peter Parker.

“Peter, hey!” reaching for the cup, you wrap both hands around it, relishing in its rich aroma. “You’re a sight for sore eyes,” Having to face your laptop for hours' end, glancing up just barely with how slow your morning was, it really was. Taking a sip, you let the beverage warm your system and kick in, shoulders sagging. “and a savior.”

The corners of his mouth lift, eyes shining a bit, awkwardly shifting foot to foot. “W-Well, I know how much you work. And how much you love your coffee" he does, strangely enough, to note that you loved it black in the wee hours of the day with a bit of cocoa nibs.

"That I do, Petey, that I do."

He watches you take another sip, your eyes momentarily meeting your laptop screen before looking away quickly - nope! Here's your coffee break, take it.

"I see, uh, that you've been busy."

Sighing, you lean against your seat. "Kinda. Sorta. But, yes."

A little while after you first met, you made sure to properly introduce yourself to the lad, keeping in mind that he was an Avenger and that he'd see more of you now that you worked for Stark Industries, and the Avengers.

"Even though you should be…” he glanced away, words failing him.

“I should be…?” you picked up on the end tail of his sentence.

Gulping, his gaze suddenly drops, looking around helplessly. You sat there, worried, taking sips time to time.

It might be his sixth sense – aptly dubbed as his Spider-senses, but he seemed to know exactly how much you loved your coffee. That, or he was really observant.

“Peter, are you okay- “

“Writing!” he suddenly bursts out. “You like writing, right?”

His eyes land on the books on the side of your desk, and a framed article you had written years back for TIME magazine.

Following his gaze, causing you to turn in your seat, you can’t help the soft expression on your face. “Ah, that.”

Using the heel of your foot, rolling forward, you reached for the frame then rested your still warm drink between your thighs fingers smoothing the corners. “Funny story, Tony made me write it. Pepper gave me the idea.” The article was basically about questioning Thaddeus Ross and the Accords and if it was really pro-government and pro-hero at the same time. “Mind you, at the time, things had just been rocky with the whole mess of the Avengers, Tony and Pepper were not in good term. Writing this had been the closest I got them to speak again, because of how I had written it and its effects.” Memories of Pepper giving snide remarks at people who talked shit to you, rebutting gracefully, and Tony, wisecracking any troll who messed with you online. Those were fun times. Messy, but fun times. As you spoke, Peter quieted down, eyes never leaving you as you spoke. Looking at the article one last time, you set it back on your desk before picking your drink and taking a sip. “So, yeah. I do. Love writing, I mean. “

“And haven’t you thought of doing that instead?”

Noting his implication with a hum, you continued. “Instead of handling hero-related antics, right?”

Instantly, his face flushed, expression mixing up as he jumbled on his words. “N-Not that what you’re doing is wrong or anything! I-It’s just…you can-“

“Relax Peter!” You laugh, hand raised to calm him. “I know what you mean. It’s just that,” pushing yourself back, you swayed a bit in your seat “this is my job now, something I’ve been doing for a while and one I enjoy. Stressful as it is, it’s still fun. At the very least, I’m still writing. Plus, I get to be with you guys! So, that works, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” breathing returning to normal, he nods, replying breathlessly. “yeah, yeah, yeah. T-That’s true.”

Tilting your head, seeing that he wasn’t fully satisfied with your answer, you humor him. “Given the chance, I would’vebeen in the writing field. Who knows? Writing as some underground slob, some hermit, or rise amongst the ranks of those high-profiled writers, or for TIME...”

Smiling wistfully, you were just about to take a sip again when it dawned to you. “Oh, what are you doing here, anyway? Do you have a meeting with Pepper?”

“Miss Potts- oh. Oh, no!”

“Did you wanna see Morgan then?”

“No, no!” he was getting more panicked, which was worrying. Putting down your coffee, you brought both hands to your desk and pulled yourself in, the desk separating you and Peter. He was muttering something under his breath, something you didn’t catch.

“Petey?” ducking your head, for a closer look at him, getting a closer inspection of how hazel brown his eyes actually are.

“U-Uh…” he gulps under your gaze. "...um..."

“Hey, (Name), I need your help with someth-“a new voice pipes in.

The two of you turn, (E/c) eyes widen at the new visitor, instantly, you were on your feet and running towards him.

“Harley!” engulfing him in a hug, you laugh mirthlessly at his presence. “Oh, my god you’re here! How are you? What are you doing here?”

Dang, you forgot just how tall he was!

“Uh, I’m supposed to work on my grant with Miss Potts,” he says, almost carefully staring from you to the lad behind him.

“Ah, yes,” you nodded, snapping a finger and pointing at him in realization. “that was today. Unfortunately, Pepper’s busy with something. Fortunately,” you tilted to your side, hands clasped in front of you then pointing index fingers at him. “Ican lend you a hand.”

Harley smiles at this, especially at your dorky dramatics, you grin back toothily.

Then you remembered that you weren’t alone.

“Oh! Where are my manners? Peter, this is Harley Keener, one of Tony’s boys.”

“You make it sound like I'm a booty call.” Harley grumbled beside you, making you snort and elbow him playfully.

“Well, Tony has a way of calling people and it rubs off pretty easily when you’re around him a lot.”

The taller lad rolls his eyes – playfully, used to your language and overall attitude as a reminiscent of one Tony Stark. Peter, who was still standing there, looks dumbfounded between the two of you, unsure what to do before you called on him.

“Sorry Peter, but I have to attend to Harley. Guess I’ll see you around?”

“U-Uh, sure…yeah.”

Hooking your arm around Harley’s you both walked out, but not before grabbing your still warm coffee from your desk. “Thanks again for this, Petey, bye!”

“He seems nice,” Harley comments, once the two of you get to the elevator.

“Yeah, he is.” You nod, sipping your coffee. “Now tell me, any updates on that crush of yours?”

At this, Harley’s face burns as the elevator doors open.

As Pepper’s assistant, you were basically tasked to help make Pepper’s job easier. As PR, at the same time, you were tasked with dealing with the Avengers’ publicity and ensuring that they look good and handling whatever the media throws their way. Because you were practically raised by Pepper, and the one and only Tony Stark/Iron Man, schooling the media was child’s play to you. Plus, it was really fun dealing with famous people who weren’t super-powered.

Still, as much as you enjoyed your job, you especially loved the quirks that came with it. One of the obvious being that you get to hang with the Avengers. Half of them – who were Tony’s faction during the Civil War bullshit, you grew up with, and the rest just grew on you later.

It was a Friday when you found yourself swinging by the training grounds, looking for Bucky or Wanda with a bag of cheeseburgers to share with and some papers. However, the floor seemed to be empty. Just as you were about to call for F.R.I.D.A.Y. (the AI), you found yourself slipping on some liquid, falling backward with your arms flailing in the air, smacking a nearby tray holding a pitcher and glass.

Faster than you could react, a blur was by your side, a firm grip on your shoulder, and with his free hand, easily caught the tray, the pitcher, the glass, and its contents. All before you could even blink.

“W-Woah…” you breathed, feeling your heart beating wildly against your chest. That could’ve been one nasty accident where you could’ve been wet, hurt, or both!

“(N-Name)! Are you alright?” asked your savior, making you blink at him.

It was Peter.

“Peter…” you said, almost to yourself.

Effortlessly, he set the tray aside, his hand still on around your shoulder, making you feel his strong arm around you.

“I-I’m sorry about that, must’ve tried to do some physics trick but ended up failing and all…” he replied, looking at the water on the ground.

“Ah,” you responded, getting the idea. Surprisingly, with a crinkling sound, you were still gripping unto the cheeseburgers and the papers- no, wait, they’re gone.

Turning your head around, you searched for those papers – which probably should be on the ground from the way you threw them up from the slip.

“Here,” Peter suddenly appears in front of you. Upside down.

“Woah, this is cool,” you remarked all wide-eyed, taking the papers from him, watching him bend over the ceiling to drop to the ground. “Seeing your abilities up close and personal.”

“I-I have other abilities, too!”

“Yeah, I know. You have superhuman strength, enhanced agility, and a super brain.” You list off, heading to the counter to drop the cheeseburgers and papers Pepper assigned you to send around. "No, wait, Happy mentioned it was something else..." scrunching your face, you ransacked your brain for it. "Er, what was it...oh! Peter tingle, right?"

He nearly tripped on his feet but caught himself instantly. "Spider senses! It's called 'Spider Senses'!"

"Ah, is that what it's called?"

That makes Peter sigh, almost frustratingly – like he was to throw a tantrum then and there. He really is a child, you thought.

“I’m teasing you, Pete.” You laugh, leaning against the counter, watching him seemingly deflate, ears slightly red. “But, if you don’t mind me asking," folding your arms behind you, you carefully approach him "can you just break it down to me just how your Spider Senses work?”

Caught off guard by your question, Peter puffs his cheeks. “Um, err…” he shuffles, scratching the back of his neck as words fail him.

Circling, you hop on the counter behind you, patiently waiting on him.

Seeing just how genuinely interested you seemed to be with his powers, it excited him a bit. You weren’t being pushy about it either. In fact, he’s seen you quite a handful of times, and you were always sure to be nice and welcoming, treating him Peter first, Spider-Man second. There were only about a few people who were genuinely interested in how his abilities worked really, one of them was Ned, then there was Mr. Stark, then there was Sam, and then Bucky. And then, you.

“So, um…I’ve got these senses.” You nod encouragingly. “And, uh, they help me be keenly aware of my surroundings and help me react.”

“Meaning, you have times ten the reflexes?”

“…kinda?”

Recalling the almost incident earlier, it was amazing to know just how quick he responded before the inevitable. “That’s cool. I didn’t know spiders could do that.”

“Y-Yeah…” he could only reply, noting how pleased you were with his explanation, how your beating calmed him-

“If this were a comic book, then what you have would probably be the most overpowered ability of all. Still, thanks for telling and trusting me.”

Clearing his throat, he slowly approached you. “So, uh, what brings you here?”

��What, I can’t be here?”

“N-No- th-that’s not-“

Really, he was so cute with the stuttering and all.

“Are you always this awkward around people? Or just girls?”

You really reminded him of Tony Stark with your charm and quips.

“You’re kinda difficult to approach, I guess?”

“Oh, so, I’m a science problem now?”

Peter’s mouth gaped at that, at a loss what to say next. Which in turn, caused you to laugh, head pulled back.

“You’re cute, Peter Parker.” Hopping off the counter, you reached out to pinch his cheek before turning back to fetch the paper bags. “I brought burgers for Bucky and Wanda, sadly, they’re not here, wanna eat them?”

Ever since the spider bite, life for Peter Parker was never the same. And it was probably a given to those who wielded great power, and now, he was one of them.

However, he would never imagine that because of that very spider bite, he’d be in leagues with people he’s admired for a while – the Avengers.

His life would forever change the moment Tony Stark sat in his apartment living room, chatting casually with his aunt, interrogated, and basically recruited him to his faction. Unofficially, that had marked his joining the Avengers.

But it was the Battle with Thanos months later that he was officially an Avenger, which later resulted in him dusting away for five years, then he came back for another fight for his life and the universe, they won but at the cost of Earth’s mightiest heroes. Months following after that were spent in constant fear and mourning that he tried to fight with his teenage life.

Funny thing was, just when he thought life was going his way, there’d always be something to nope him out of it. Mysterio, for one, hijacking his Europe trip and revealing his identity to the world.

For a while, his life was sure to spiral out of control and he’d be torn from his life. Nope.

Because he was an Avenger, not only was he backed by his colleagues, the government – what good half of it anyway, S.H I.E.L.D. and good civilians who were recipients of the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man’s kindness, the fear of his civilian life was protected and secured.

He just never expected that with becoming an Avenger, he’d have the chance to go places, experience new and exciting things, still be himself whilst growing up-

"Alright, little munchkin, open up!"

-and then there was meeting you, (Y/N) (L/N).

By blood, you were Pepper Potts-Stark’s niece-in-law, but by paper, you were practically her daughter/sister, more so as her trusty assistant.

Physically, you were three years his senior. Had the Snap not happened; however, he’d have been three years older than you. Still, he towers over you despite being the ‘littlest guy’ – as Sam would put it.

Using his heightened hearing, he followed after until the voices were closer, and he was standing by the doorway to the kitchen where you were.

You weren’t alone though. No, sitting by the counter, happily watching and smiling at you was little Morgan Stark.

It's a first for him to see you like this - in more casual, comfortable clothes, especially in shorts where he can see your legs. He had to pull himself out of it as he remembered that Morgan was there, singing some song as you sang with her.

It was a Disney song, he realized, from that one movie.

While the two of you were having a mini-concert, the smell of something being cooked filled the kitchen.

“Pasta,” he thought to himself, aloud.

“Peter!” the littlest Stark called from the counter, struggling to hop down, before you helped her down, tiny legs barreling towards him.

Anticipating her approach, he knelt to catch her in his arms, twirling as he entered the kitchen – the smell growing stronger.

“H-Hey, (Y/N),” he says to you, standing straighter.

Offering a smile, you turned back to check on the pasta sauce you were making. “Hey Peter,”

Unsure of what to say next, he lets Morgan play with his hair before coming up with a reply. “F-Fancy seeing you here,” he said lamely.

“Is that a bad thing?”

Realizing his mistake, he nearly drops Morgan, sputtering words. “T-That’s not- No! U-Um,” you were calmly stirring the pot, body turned to him, letting him know that you were listening. “I-I…It’s just, I’m not used to seeing you so casual…I guess?”

“Ah,”

Seriously, why was he so lame?

“It’s my day-off.” You say simply, switching the fire off. “And I make sure to use up my time keeping sane with the help of the world’s most adorable little girl, isn’t that right, Morgan?”

"Working too much is evil!"

"Sometimes I wonder where and how you learn these things," you mumble laughingly, head shaking. "must be a Stark thing."

He laughs with you in agreement. Morgan was scaringly too smart for her own good, clearly from her Stark genes.

"Most definitely a Stark thing," he agrees with you, laughing, eyes glued on your form as you hunt around the kitchen for something. "Need some help?"

"Ah, yeah." Pointing at the pot of sauce, you say. "Can you be a dear and bring that to that table over there?" with the same hand, you bring it back to the small dining table behind you, where plates and utensils sat. "Oh, and be sure to use mittens," you add, producing two kitschy kitchen mittens - one that was an embroidered goldfish, of some sort. "I'm not sure just how strong you are, but you can't be that strong against heat against metal."

"Ha ha, a science joke, I see." he says, taking the handle with both hands.

"It's not rocket science, silly." Holding a bowl full of pasta, you hastily grab a pair of tongs, before the two of you were walking towards the dining room. "Okay, there we go. Oh, just put it right here, Petey." you point at the empty coaster next to the pasta bowl, where he carefully lays it down. "Great, thanks!"

Hands on your hips, you admire your work, clasping both hands together before rubbing. "Okay, lunch is set! Now, where's my little Morgan?"

It was almost too cliché and overused at this point, but nobody that deny that charity galas were almost always a selling point to earn the trust of the most esteemed, high-profile, and probably the snootiest people in the world- all of which, were Tony's words that he had told you years back.

You hated these kinds of events, but again, they sold off to the rich and the famous. And they were a great way to rub elbows with just about anybody.

Never leaving Pepper's side, the both of you welcomed in guests after guests, receiving warm regards from ambassadors, warding off leering looks from power-hungry businessmen, laughing with nobles and socialites, and being graced by esteemed guests. Honestly, you had to give it to Tony and Pepper for bearing with these lot, just being in the same room with them and inhaling their pricey perfumes made you feel ten times older.

When all was said and done, you rushed towards where the Avengers were - all of which were dressed to the nines, all looking like literal gods in a sea of mortals.

Laughingly, half of them seem to enjoy the festivities, some looked bored to death (but came for the chance of exposure), some looked uncomfortable, and mostly seem to just enjoy parading themselves.

It was easy to spot Peter Parker among them, being - as Sam put it - the littlest guy because the rest of the women were in heels.

Meeting your gaze, he lifts his hand into a tiny wave. Giggling, you winked and gave him a peace sign, before turning to a waiter offering drinks. Taking a flute from his tray, you were unaware of the boy's eyes locked on you as you clung to Pepper's side, wearing a polite smile that illuminated your face and the dress you were wearing.

It's just...You look pretty in that dress. Like, really pretty. Maybe prettier than usual

Well, you were always pretty to him whatever you wore - may it be office wear, casual wear, even a bean bag, but tonight, that dress made you look mature, exquisite, and divine. The makeup on your face highlighted some of your features quite well - not too much, but enough to really emphasize your cheeks, your lips, your eyes. And your hair was in a simple style but enhanced your look. Overall, again, you looked really pretty.

Too engrossed in his stare, he nearly jumped in place when Shang Chi came into his field of vision, smirking knowingly down at the young boy.

"That's an intense stare you got there, wanna go talk to her?" the newest Avenger asked, golden eyes alight with life.

"U-Uh...?" he sputtered, feeling the blood rush to his face, just as he saw your face light up - if possible, it made the whole place shine brighter - when Morgan ran up to you. Her dress was a poofier and lighter version of yours.

"No worries, little brother," whispered the man, smirk still in place as he watched you nuzzle Morgan's nose with yours. "I'm not telling."

Okay, he felt screwed.

With all the glitz and glamour that filled and surrounded the life of one Tony Stark, it takes a certain amount of temperament and training to turn one so thick-skinned and fluent in the art of socializing from the regular folk to the nouveu riche to the beau-monde. Despite careful years of watching, observing, absorbing, and taking things into action, the results were the same: it was pretty exhausting.

You didn’t know how Tony did it, nor do you want to know. I mean, there were years of alcohol and therapy. Not to mention, his hands just itching to tinker.

Pepper fared in the best way she could. Seriously, she was the personification of the phrase, ‘grace under pressure’.

Well, maybe until she has someone she can finally rip apart.

Having excused yourself from the scene, you desperately needed to be away from all the glitzy fanfare – too much of it might actually render you insane.

You find yourself in what seems to be a lounge area. There were plants, paintings, some comfortable sofas. Music could be heard from the gala nearby, but here it came as a gentle thrum and hum.

“How’s the party going?” someone asked.

You whipped your head around, searching, finding an old man sitting by one of the sofas.

Putting on a smile – tired, but polite, you say. “Well, it’s still going,” he laughs at that. “Starks’ legacy continues to fill the night. Hopefully, it’ll end well for business and pleasure.”

He laughs again, a gentle, hearty laugh. “Well, that’s a relief. And quite the expectation.”

“Well,” you didn’t mean to sigh so heavily, brows raised slightly. “it is what it is.”

Nodding at the older man, you were just about to find a balcony only to stop in your footsteps.

Slowly, very slowly, you looked back to the lone soul sitting by the sofa – sharply dressed, small, frail, but his posture said otherwise, as did his smile.

And his eyes.

Suddenly, you realized why that old man with astoundingly baby blue eyes with a kind smile looked familiar. You were careful in your approach, as to not bring any attention. "Mr. Rogers?"

Familiarity radiated off his features as he took you in, the same familiar smile on his face. "Hi, (Name),"

"Hi..." you said back in awe, unsure what to do, or say.

"Wow, you're so big now." Baby blue eyes take you in, so warm and threatening to swallow you whole. "And you used to be the littlest thing."

Memories flash of a younger you meeting the famed war hero, Tony by your side. His dashingly, boyishly handsome face. Walks around the compound or the park with his gentle hands in yours. Warm hugs after a bad day at school. The sad look in his eyes when he left the compound. Regret, guilt, and sadness during Tony's burial-

"Come sit by me," he invites, patting the spot next to him.

That seemed to snap you back to your current time, forcing your legs to move. One step becomes two, then three, until you were next to him, (e/c) eyes not leaving his now small and frail form. A far cry from the hulking teddy bear of a man you're used to.

Gentle music from the gala filled in the silence, which just dragged on.

Steve smiled, simply smiling by the silence, blissfully knowing your state of confusion by his presence. But he was content, to say the least, to share the silence with you.

This man, Steve Rogers to many, known as Captain America to all, but to you – and a select few, he was more than that.

In spite of what happened – Ultron, Sokovia, their Civil War, Thanos, this man meant a lot to you, had a special place in your heart that rivalled only to Tony Stark.

"You know,” you said slowly. “Pepper never blamed you...after everything that had happened."

Turning to you, his eyes widened slightly. "Did she now?"

You nod, earrings dangling with you. "It was inevitable, ever since Tony was kidnapped and Iron Man happened. Since the moment those two fell in love, and the Avengers came to be." Breaking into a short laugh, you added. “Maybe even before you and I joined in the mix.”

"Did you blame me?" he asked you, suddenly, his baby blue eyes, though faded with age still held so much emotion.

That question would've been easier to answer then - after months of seeing Pepper and Tony's relationship in turmoil, Pepper in tears, Tony's PTSD, Rhodey's injury, Happy's added stress, the death of the closest thing to a father you'll ever have - but now, all things considered, and with Tony's annoying way of rubbing off you, you knew your answer now.

"No. I don't think I could." You reply, smiling softly at him. "Plus, you remember his speech, right? 'Part of the journey is the end'? Somewhere, deep inside his clusterfuck of a brain, he knew that his death was something he feared very much yet knew would put things into perspective."

"You are Tony's girl alright,"

You scoff, ducking shyly, comforted by his words. "Adopted, maybe."

Lifting your head, it felt like you were young again, meeting Steve Rogers for the first time. Except this time, there was no Tony by your side, but you took comfort in knowing that the phantom comforting chill running down your spine was him.

Steve smiled, one that reached his eyes.

"It's so good to see you again, (Name)."

"Me, too." Eyes misting as you broke into a huge grin, it really felt like you were a kid again.

And it that moment, he couldn't help but feel the same.

"Would you care to indulge this man with a dance?"

"I would love to."

(E/c) eyes wandered about to all the couples that had gathered on the dance floor, humming to the beat of the music – jazz, was it? Maybe something gypsy-like? Do they even allow those kinds of music to be played? Soft jazz, maybe.

The music was gentle, soothing, fitting for the event. It was enough to make your heart settle, after a long, engaging, and rather exciting night.

And It was probably far from over.

From where you stood, the second floor balcony that overlooked the whole area, a rather grand view as though you were some lord. But no, you just needed a breather, to slow down the night that was far from over.

Behind you, someone cleared their throat, rather loudly to catch your attention.

Looking over your shoulder, you find that it was Peter. "Y-You...uh, you look really nice, (Name).”

Lips quirked up, you reply. "Thank you, Peter. This is all Pepper. And, well, Maria." After much thought, fingers smoothing over the fabric of your dress, you added, with a pained smile. "And Morgan. Wanda. Sam. Bucky." You tick their name one by one with your fingers.

"Mr. Wilson and Mr. Barnes?" he was stood next to you now.

"They convinced me to come, after much protest. Morgan picked my dress, really."

"You sound so out of place." His brown eyes search yours. To be at the receiving end of those eyes of his, such big, kind, and warm eyes, made you feel all sorts of funny.

"Oh, trust me, I am. This isn't my scene, y'see, also because I don't really go to these kinds of events. I'm more used to being behind the scenes, working back, or doing my homework while everyone partied." A certain memory roused from the back of your brain, making you chuckle sadly. Having sensed this, thanks to this spider senses, Peter looked up. "Tony," shucks, the mention of his name still hurts. "he would annoy the hell outta me, Pepper, too," she chuckled, almost garbled by the emotions thick in her throat. "but both never forced me if I didn't want to. Sometimes, they'd finish up extra early and bring home junk food to keep me company." Finishing with a sigh, she looked out the dancing couples before her eyes landed on a familiar strawberry blonde woman effortlessly elegant in her own right, ethereal under this light, but ever so heartbreakingly lonely and painful to look at.

Peter followed your gaze, swallowing thickly at that.

"Sorry you had to hear that sob story," you says, in an attempt to lighten the mood, quirking into an easy expression.

Downstairs, the music peaks up, a new song being played.

"Well, to make up for it, do you want to take your mind off it with a dance?"

That made you jump, turning to the younger boy, who was red in the face but had that look of determination in his boyishly handsome face.

You had to chuckle at that, heartily. "Wow, you're good. But okay."

Bucky didn't like it - that little punk was crushing on (Name). Bad.

Thing was, she was pretty oblivious to this. Bucky didn’t like that either. As much as she was Stark's girl, when it comes to things concerning her, it just passed off like the wind. Or maybe water. No, oxygen. Point is, she'd never know unless it was pointed out.

“If you look any harder, the kid’s head might combust.” A voice says next to him, belonging to a familiar blonde – Sharon Carter.

The Winter Soldier made a noise in his throat, eyes cold. "I don't like the way that kid's looking at her,"

"Make you think of Becca, Buck?" Steve asks, humor in his tone.

“Shut up, punk.”

“Well,” Sam appears, elbows on the railing, faint smile quirking his lips. “they are kinda cute.”

Well, fine, they are kinda cute together.

“Good luck trying to tell her that, though.”

But he won’t say it out loud.

#alicemitch09 writes #peter parker x reader #spider-man x reader #reader-insert #marvel #mcu #marvel fanfiction #fanfiction #spider-man fanfiction #peter parker #spider-man #fluff #tom holland #tom holland spiderman #spiderman #spiderman x reader

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pallasperilous · 3 years

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Occursus

Castiel/Dean Winchester Gen/Teen, 4341 words 15x20 coda AO3 version “The natural environment of the human soul is a human body,” Cas says. “Humans have yet to meet a foreign substrate that they don’t immediately attempt to colonize. My form in Hell was not an exception.”

Then he shuts his mouth very deliberately and gestures back to Dean like his mic is going live in three, two. “Or the bit where my soul gave you some kind of STD?” Dean finishes. “It was a poor analogy. I apologize.” “So what’s a better one?” Castiel drums his fingers for a second. “It’s more like…the way a parasitic jewel wasp injects a cockroach with venom, and transforms it into a willing host for wasp larvae.” “Holy shit are you ever bad at this,” Dean says, with that signature brand of fond horror he special-orders just for Castiel, Angel of the Gourd.

It’s half past midnight by the time Dean gets another run at Cas.

Granted, what the fuck does half past midnight even mean here, where time is as free as tap water? Why does anybody even bother? For all it matters, Dean could set his watch to eleventy minutes past twenty o’ nope and still never miss last call.

Then again, somebody felt it necessary to invent the idea of Tuesday in the first place, and Dean’s not gonna volunteer himself for the task of replacing it with something better. What’s important is that he’s survived (or rather, he hasn’t survived) a battery of poignant moments and tearful reunions. He and Sam hugged out burdens registering in the triple digits. They even had a little fight, pretty much for the fun of it, while Ellen fucking Harvelle watched them over the bar with her eyes shining. She still charged them, though.

Right at the beginning of the party Dean and Castiel had their eyes-across-the-room thing, followed by the same magnetic, exhausted embrace they’ve shared on just about every plane of reality now. Dean supposes he could ask Cas for a nickel tour of the Empty just so they could hit for the cycle, but he’d really rather not. Sam let them eke out a few gruff, tear-choked monosyllables before diving in, sweeping Cas up in a bear hug and laughing like a fucking kid. Dean doesn’t push it, because it’s been longer for Sam, after all. Or something.

And now it’s quiet, just the jukebox and the clink of glasses back in the kitchen, a few folks murmuring in booths. It might be dark outside, it might not; it’s waiting on Dean’s opinion before it commits to anything. And so is Cas, who is standing in the warm glow of the jukebox, hands in his pockets.

Dean walks up, leans against it, bottle still dangling from one hand.

“C’mon, sunshine. I’ll show you yours, you show me mine.”

Cas looks up and into Dean’s eyes with the wary, elegant patience of a deer. “What is it that you would be showing me, Dean?”

Dean gives him a long, languid blink and bites his lip, and Castiel lags for half a second before rolling his own eyes. “I see death hasn’t refined your sense of humor.”

“Nope. Guess the billionth time aint the charm.”

Cas remains stonefaced, which means a corresponding you dumbass blush starts crawling up the sides of Dean’s neck. The jukebox switches records like it’s making a suggestion.

“I’m gonna sit down outside,” Dean says. “C’mon and sit down with me. There’s a patio somewhere, right? Ellen was always talking about adding one out back. No way she hasn’t bossed somebody into buildin’ it.”

“There’s a patio,” Cas says, taking his hands out of his pockets.

Heaven’s patio is pretty nice; twenty square feet, some scattered picnic tables, fences covered in ivy and string lights. It still smells like fresh pine boards. There’s even a fire pit, which seems kinda bougie for the Roadhouse, but hell with it, it’s warm and pretty, and since when did pretentious people get to lay claim to “a hole with a fire in it”? There’s no moon overhead, and so the Milky Way is giving them the full monty — the runnelled spine of it, the ribcage packed with galaxies.

“Are they all alive?” Dean asks. The warmth from inside leaks out of his collar, wisps away.

“Who?”

Dean points up. “The stars. They always make a big deal about how most of the stars you can see from Earth have been dead for millions of years by the time we get the light from ‘em. That still true here? Or is everything on auto-renewal?”

“That’s a very complicated question,” Cas says, not looking up, only at Dean. He does that a lot, Dean knows, but it turns out to mean something different than what Dean had always assumed, which was ironically pretty similar to what it actually meant, but was reassuringly unactionable and therefore unfuckupable.

“I’m a very complicated guy,” Dean says.

Castiel smiles at that. “I don’t actually know the answer,” he admits. “And it would take an extremely long time to investigate. There are some other things I’d rather do first.”

“What, you can’t just call the kid for directory assistance?”

Castiel lets a good-humored sigh. “Like many young people these days, Jack prefers to avoid the phone.”

This is a solid riff, and Dean respects it. He picks the table closest to the fire and takes a bench and Cas sits next to him, instead of opposite. Dean thought he managed to break him of this habit a few years ago, but here all things are made whole again.

“So what,” Cas says, without a single molecule of playfulness or seduction, “is it that you want us to show each other?”

“Yeah, I was…it was a dumb joke. But I mean it, just not in a ‘playing doctor’ way.”

Castiel frowns, tightens his lips; the firelight throws a fluttering shadow across his face.

“I mean…Christ.” Dean takes a medicinal slug of his dwindling beer. “I don’t really look like this anymore either, right?” And he gestures at his usual shitshow personal presentation, which death has also noticeably failed to refine.

Castiel frowns, smoothes his hand across the surface of the table. “This is a corporeal world, Dean. It operates on a different set of rules, but your body here is no more of an illusion than it was on earth.”

“Seriously?” Dean ponders a second, squints through the dim light at his fingernails, at the high-resolution grime contained therein. “Jesus, that sounds like a lot of work. At least compared to Holodeck Heaven.”

“It is. But we didn’t build this place to be a...a…doorprize. It’s a real world,” Castiel enthuses, looming forward. “It’s the one that should have been created for all of you in the first place.” He pauses, glances down. “For all of us.”

Dean shrugs. “Okay, so no holograms. I’ll keep all that in mind next time Charlie tries to convince me to go skydiving.”

Castiel snorts, but not in pure aggravation, so Dean feels like he’s finally got a point on the board. “What I’m sayin’ is…physical or not, this place has different rules, right? So could I look at you without my eyeballs exploding? The…you know, the angel parts of you. Not just your vessel,” and Dean fwippies his hand at Cas to indicate that true beauty is contained within and Dean is completely indifferent to the fact this dork-ass alien managed to bodysnatch a guy who’s never dipped below an 8.5.

“It isn’t a vessel anymore. We can create our own bodies, now.”

“Peachy,” Dean clips, because that shit is a little late coming off the line.

Castiel sighs. “You could see me in that form without coming to harm. But you should know that I don’t consider it any more a reflection who I am than this form. Not anymore.”

Dean rolls the bottle towards him, nudges a knuckle. “You’re a real boy now, huh?”

“Yes, I suppose so,” Castiel says, and smiles a smile so small that Dean would need a microscope to figure out if it’s pleased or pained.

So Dean thwacks the bottle down on the totally-real table and claps his totally-real hands. “Well then let’s go. Hit me with that angel weirdness. If we’re gonna do this, I gotta taste all thirty-one flavors.”

Castiel smiles a little more convincingly, but it still doesn’t reach his eyes. “There are really only the two,” he says, and holds his palms out to the warmth of the fire.

“Great, then we’ll be done in time to catch Letterman. Then if you’re good maybe you can help me shimmy out of this thing.”

Cas cocks his head. “Out of which thing?”

“This super real heavenly meat-suit, dude. It’s not fair if only one of us gets naked. Peep show has to go both ways. I see your angel-face, you see my soul.”

Cas looks stricken, like Dean is asking to suck on his toes next to a playground. “I mean, unless that’d fuck you up,” Dean adds.

“No,” Castiel replies, a little absently. “It wouldn’t fuck me up. But it…wouldn’t really accomplish anything, either.”

“What, no soul kink? That’s bullshit and you know it. You love this crap.”

Castiel replies, “Your soul is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” with the easy confidence of a regular latte order. With the same uncanny, 2 Blessed 2 B Stressed face he had when Dean plowed Ruby’s knife hilt-deep into Jimmy Novak’s sternum, that he had when the Empty collapsed him like a carcass in an acid bath.

That face shuts Dean right the fuck up, because it sends him skipping backwards into that fucking basement, where his phone is buzzing and the gritty concrete chill of the floor is seeping through his jeans into the useless meat of his legs and leeching into the hot, wet channels of his piece of shit heart.

Turns out you can work up a good little panic attack in heaven, which seems like a significant oversight.

From a million miles away he feels Cas’s warm, dry palm slide over the back of his hand –– there’s a ring there now that Dean lost down a motel sink drain ages ago, is nobody spotting continuity errors here?—then Cas’s hand tightens on his and it feels like a Xanax kicking in. (The good kind, direct from the hot nurse with the little paper cup, not the kind you get in a from a shady burnout at a truckstop, that’s been ground up with baking soda or benadryl and carefully remolded, as if you could possibly give that much of a shit when you’re freaking out bad enough to buy Xanax at a truckstop.)

Point being, he calms the fuck down.

Cas has good hands. They can do a lot of impressive shit, and they look nice doing it. They don’t look like –– they’ve never looked like –– they belong to somebody whose main job is destroying people, places, or things. They’re hands that how to play the cello, or make tables from reclaimed wood, or give soapy, encompassing handjobs in the shower on cold evenings.

“It’s been years, though,” Dean rasps, not looking up yet. “I was a kid when you got me out of Hell, Cas. I’ve done a lot of shit since then. Maybe souls get stretch marks.”

Castiel’s hand tightens on his, clamps it down on the table. “I’ve always been able to see it.”

“Okay,” Dean mumbles, but Cas keeps on going –

“The only time I couldn’t see any part of your soul was when I was without grace, and I promise you that was one of the greatest deprivations imaginable.”

Dean snorts, looks away, but his hand is still on lockdown. “Worse than going hungry, huh?”

“Much.”

“Hey, what about Sam? Or, hell, fucking Donatello. They both were both walking around minus their creamy filling, and you didn’t say boo.”

Cas shrugs. “I can’t see their souls under ordinary circumstances.”

“So what, mine’s just extra loud, or day-glo, or what?”

“It’s both of those things, but that isn’t why,” Cas answers, and the boy is downright wry.

Dean tugs his hand out, raps his knuckles against the wood. “Okay, so stop bein’ coy and tell me before I get a complex. And if you say it’s because of love or some shit, I’m bailing to Rowena’s.”

“You infected me,” Cas says.

“Uh,” says Dean.

The fire pops and a log shifts; Cas glances over at the kerfuffle, absently lifts his fingers to his chin like he’s looking for an old scar. “In Hell, when I retrieved you…I had to grip your raw soul. I was meant to wear a gauntlet, so I wouldn’t be burned.”

Dean snickers. “You’re telling me you were supposed to be wearing a soul condom. What happened, you get too excited and forget to suit up? It’s okay, I know I’m a lot to take in.”

Castiel purses his lips. “No, I was properly armored. But my arm was torn off in combat shortly before I reached you.”

“Ouch.”

“Ouch,” Cas agrees. “I didn’t have time to retrieve the arm or its protection from the pit, so I had to grow a new one very quickly.”

Dean really should’ve switched to whiskey before starting this. “What, you didn’t pack a spare?” He wheezes.

“Ordinarily, yes, I would have had the resources, but I was equipped very lightly for that mission. It was a raid, not a siege. You understand the difference.”

“Sure, yeah, you left your emergency arms in the trunk. So you just popped out a new one. No big.”

“It was a big. Your soul was close enough that it forced me to grow a human arm, instead of a much quicker and more powerful extensor.”

“Okay, uh,” Dean pinches at the bridge of his nose, “there’s a lot to unpack there.”

“What part of it confuses you?”

“I dunno, the bit where apparently angels are I guess heavenly octopuses,”

“The plural in the Greek is octopodes,” Cas interjects, not without pleasure.

Dean glowers. “Or the part where you can apparently swap in different drill bits,” Dean continues,

“Mm,” Cas notes, careful not to open his mouth,

“Or that I, like, accidentally bullied you into growing a person arm,” and Dean pauses for breath here, which Cas evidently takes as permission to dive in with more Planet Earth commentary.

“The natural environment of the human soul is a human body,” he says. “Humans have yet to meet a foreign substrate that they don’t immediately attempt to colonize. My form in Hell was not an exception.” Then he shuts his mouth very deliberately and gestures back to Dean like his mic is going live in three, two.

“Or the bit where my soul gave you some kind of STD?” Dean finishes.

“It was a poor analogy. I apologize.”

“So what’s a better one?”

Castiel drums his fingers for a second, listens to the fire pop in its little cage. “It’s more like…the way a parasitic jewel wasp injects a cockroach with venom, and transforms it into a willing host for wasp larvae.”

“Holy shit are you ever bad at this,” Dean says, with that signature brand of fond horror he special-orders just for Castiel, Angel of the Gourd.

“What I’m trying to avoid saying,” Castiel sighs, “is that you rubbed off on me.”

Dean nods. “Yeah. That’s fair. I wouldn’t be dumb enough to say that around me, either.” He lays a couple little pats on Cas’s hand. “Lookit you, though, seeing around that corner. I’m proud of you, man. That would’ve totally flipped your breaker back in the day.”

“Just one of the many ways you have reshaped me, Dean,” Cas says, with warm sarcasm.

“Alright, so you rawdogged me, I whammied you. Chocolate, peanut butter, peanut butter, chocolate.”

Cas’s forehead wrinkles in skepticism. “I still prefer the cockroach. But some part of your soul injected itself into one of my more exposed frequencies. Under different circumstances, I would’ve stopped and excised the affected area before it spread, but. I was being pursued, and the mission had taken much longer than any of us anticipated.”

“Us? Thought it was just you down there.”

Cas looks vaguely offended, straightens and folds his arms like he just remembered he’s giving a deposition. “No, of course not. Michael assigned sixty-six angels in eleven groups of six, each escorted to the field by a seraph. We struck simultaneously at six different areas in perdition. From there we dispersed to individual targets –– to cause as much chaos as possible in order to help obscure the object of our mission, and to increase the odds that one of us would actually find you.”

“And you were the lucky winner.” Dean pushes down a touch of sick shame at the thought of it — he’d been coiled up like a snake around somebody else’s torment, anesthetized by it. It was one of the random rags of infernal time where his own pain decreased in proportion to how much he dealt out, and that was the closest thing Hell had to a Friday night.

“I was,” Castiel nods. “I took some liberties with my assignment,” he adds, squinting. “I flattered myself that I shared a special affinity with The Righteous Man.”

“That guy always sounded like kind of a cunt to me,” Dean notes. “You know, not withstanding the fact that I’m him.”

Castiel shrugs. “I found you, and I did what was necessary to save you, and my siblings did what was necessary to save me.” A little falter enters his voice. “Only twelve of us returned from that mission.” Cas looks up, out, away. A dove coos somewhere nearby of the Roadhouse; did it have a run-in with the windshield of an eighteen wheeler one day and show up here, Dean wonders, or does heaven make its own birds from scratch? That’s gotta be a softball compared to whether Betelgeuse is still open for business.

Castiel waits until the bird shuts up, then says, “Of those twelve surviving angels, I personally murdered nine, in everything that followed.”

After a moment Dean says “Yeah,” with practiced neutrality. He’s got some similar tallies, written in Sharpie on the back of his eyelids.

Cas sighs and his attention comes back down to the table. “By the time I received the authority to restore your soul to your body, the infection had spread almost past the point of containment. That’s why I resisted taking a vessel at first. I worried that occupying a human form would speed up the process.”

“Hey now. I thought you showed up naked because you thought I’d be one of those special people,” Dean quips, “Who can handle angel stuff without going all kibbles ’n bits.”

“That was only a partial truth.”

Dean tips the beer bottle in salute. “You’re a real special flavor of asshole, Cas.”

“So I’ve been told. I was right, though. When I took Jimmy as a vessel, I contracted — condensed — myself very severely. The infection had a much shorter distance to travel to reach all of my extremities, and a human form was the most hospitable environment possible.”

“You got a raging case of the Deans.”

Cas’s head kicks back in a laugh that kinda surprises them both. “Yes,” he says, grinning. “I did. I was very displeased, and very concerned I’d be found out and judged unfit for duty. And I very much was. Unfit, that is. Though I was not found out.”

“C’mon, never? You went rogue on the company.”

“Uriel suspected. Naomi certainly detected it later, as did Metatron. But in the moment, no. The Host’s attention was focused on the Apocalypse ahead, not on debriefing a mission that was considered a success. After the Cage was closed, I had too much influence to come under that level of scrutiny.”

“Hmh.” Dean realizes he’s been systematically picking down the label on the beer bottle, so he sets it on the ground before he gets sticky little shreds everywhere. “So I gotta ask. My little souvenir, the handprint. That’s where you grabbed me, with your lil…Mister Potato Head human arm?”

“It is.”

“If I’m the one who infected you, how come I’m the one who got burned?”

“My hand didn’t burn you.”

“Well, it ain’t fingerpaint.”

“Your own soul burned it, as it flowed out of your flesh and into mine. It burned until the moment when I finally released you from my grip. My hand healed itself; your arm did not.” Castiel gives a thin scoff. “I hadn’t planned to leave you interred.”

“Oh, no? Well that’s nice to hear, you know, a decade after the fact. I still have nightmares about that shit.”

Castiel winces. “It’s no excuse, but I was in a great deal of…the equivalent of pain. It took an immense effort to break off the inflow of your soul, and when I did manage it, I was thrown quite a ways by the recoil. By the time I recovered enough to return, you were already looting a gas station,” He finishes, dryly.

“Yeah, well, Dad didn’t think much of leisure as a virtue. Also I was thirsty, because I’d just crawled out of my own grave.”

“And I was distracted, because I’d just fought my way out of the inferno while being digested by a demented human soul.”

“You wanna call it even?”

Cas lifts his brows. “If you don’t mind.”

There is a long, dark breath, during which their little smiles fade.

“So, all that,” Dean says, because he’s a fucking coward.

“All that,” says Cas, because he isn’t.

Dean clears his throat. “That means you can see my soul-stuff 24/7, huh?”

Castiel slides one leg up onto the bench, shifts to sit astride it, like he’s maybe about to deliver an after-school PSA on the Real Deal About Drugs. “I can always see myself, and extensions of my self. And since your soul made itself into an integral part of me…I can see you.”

“I take it that’s not exactly in the manual.”

“No. I didn’t entirely understand it at first — for a long time, I convinced myself it was because you were designed to be a celestial vessel, and that I had been destined to save you from Hell.”

That thin, acidic feelings starts to rise up in Dean’s chest again. “Do you…” A dry swallow reflex grabs his throat. “Hm. Fuck.”

“What?” Cas asks, scooting forward. An angel. Scooting. What a world. “You can ask me anything, Dean. I hope we’re both past being offended.”

“Have you ever thought that. This whole deal. Our…thing.” Dean lets out a breath. “The way you feel about me. The way I feel about you.”

“Do I worry that its only basis is our shared material?”

Dean licks his lips, works a jaw muscle, forces out a nod.

Cas frowns, sets one elbow up against the table, then lets his head tip to the side. “Why do you love Sam?”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I get it, he’s my brother. We got shared material, too. But we’re not talking genetics.”

“Genes were the initial basis of your love for Sam. But you share half as much material with Adam. Do you love him fifty percent as much as you do Sam?”

“One, love doesn’t work that way and you know it, and two, fucking of course not. I barely know the guy, and what I’ve seen didn’t exactly blow me away.” Not that the poor dumb kid ever really had a chance. “Sam’s Sam, he’s earned it a million times over just by bein’ him.”

“Then you understand.”

“But Cas, man…I…” Dean laughs, which is an abbreviated form of screaming, “I treated you like shit.”

Cas nods. “You did.”

“Okay, the rules say you’re not supposed to agree with me.”

“But the balance remains in your favor. Dean, are you genuinely afraid that you — care for me…” and Dean can hear the FCC live-bleep in that one, like does his total cowardice have a special color Cas can see with his soul-o-vision? “Only out of some compulsion?”

“No,” Dean says, to the great surprise of his frontal cortex, which was busy kicking the shit out of itself. “No,” he says again, just to make sure it wasn’t a fluke, that that answer actually came out of him and entered the living air between them.

Then the wave is rolling towards him and he enters that slim moment of body-physics where you either take a lungful and commit to diving under the break, or you kick out against the undertow, arch your back to meet the blow, and let yourself be flown all the way up to the waiting shore––

“No,” Dean says, “I love you.” And he chokes up a little, first at the release of saying it, then at how much of exactly jack-shit it changes anything so what was he even scared of, and then at the look on Cas’s face: how he’s frozen. Like that dog from that video, the one that loved tennis balls so goddamn much that his owner bought him a thousand fucking tennis balls and dumps them out all at once and the dog absolutely stalls the fuck out, just seconds on end of underspecced dog-brain hang time before he finally snaps back to reality and loses his absolute shit scrabbling all over the porch.

Castiel comes back online with a little choking noise of his own, and a kind of awkward scrabble for Dean’s hand.

“I have for a long time,” Dean continues, because apparently he’s continuing, “I’ve loved you for fucking ages, Cas. In people years, anyway, I’m sure that mean’s fuckall to somebody who’s a zillion––”

“I don’t,” Cas says thickly, “really give a damn about the age difference, Dean,” and cracks into a chuckle.

“So how come you never knew it?” Dean asks, feeling freedom turn into a hunger or something like vertigo. “If you can see my soul, how could you not know?”

Cas shrugs, a bit helplessly.

“Seriously,” Dean laughs, “how did I manage to hide that shit so well? Sammy found every nudie mag I ever shoplifted.”

Cas shakes his head. “You’ve never actually been able to hide anything from me.”

Dean scoffs. “C’mon, man. I snowed you plenty, or else we woulda had this conversation dirtside a long time ago.”

“Whatever I missed, Dean…it wasn’t because you succeeded at hiding it,” Castiel says, softly. He takes a slow, shaky breath, and meets Dean’s eyes with a smile. He lifts a hand to Dean’s face, bone and flesh on flesh and bone. “I just loved you enough to look away.”

It’s a long time before they go back inside. By any measure. {AO3}

#spn fanfiction #spn 15x20 #destiel #deancas #dean winchester #castiel #bless you all for your sexy and angsty coda fics please enjoy this massive wodge of angel lore wankery dating back 11 seasons

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maribunart · 2 years

Text

Exalted Secret Santa 2021

Hello Exalted art nerds!

If you know me it’s probably as Marigold on discord (specifically Marigold#7827, feel free to send a friend request if you’d like!) but I’m also @MaribunArt on the twitters, though I’m terrible about remembering to post things there.

Here are my babies for the art exchange! Sorry there are only a couple fully polished pics of them. I’m going to link a pinterest board for each as well, reflective of their general aesthetics, so feel free to change their outfits/hair styles/etc if you’d like

Ivy Rosedottir Air aspect Dragonblood Lot-Casting Atemi sheet link

Ivy Rosedottir is an air aspect born in a teeny tiny town a few days south of Icehome. She spent her early years as an exalt turning around the prospects of her slowly dying home town until an itinerant Immaculate Monk stumbled upon her efforts (which involved extensive collaboration with the local terrestrial gods) and used them as blackmail to force Ivy into "employment" helping manage a small, new, and thus-far unprofitable Satrapy halfway across Creation. Shockingly, she is not terribly fond of the realm.

- Full body reference image - Rough sketch of her usual hairstyle from the back - Local Nice Boy attempts to curb Ivy's Gremlin Impulses (her hair has changed a little since I drew this, it was the very first doodle of her) - Anyone who claims to have knowledge of a possible crush Ivy may harbor on a Big Dumb Lunar is a LIAR- Outfit/Aesthetic inspiration on Pinterest

Visual motifs: Crows, sheep, weaving/knitting/sewing/etc, snow and frost, spooky forests (she has the root lore sorcerous initiation & styles herself a witch) Aspect Markings: white/blue lock of hair starting at her right temple, tendency towards cold hands even in warm weather. Her anima leans more snow & ice than electricity. Important details: Freckles! Just so many, basically everywhere

Cathak Kilani Water aspect Dragonblood Lot-Casting Atemi sheet link

Cathak Kilani is, most likely, the most un-Cathak Cathak currently drawing breath. She excels at bureaucratic endeavors, would rather sort paperwork than spar, gets queasy at the sight of blood, and underneath a very sweet and kind exterior happens to be one of the sneakiest people on the entire Blessed Isle. She harbors an inordinate amount of guilt over her natural skill in what she views as dishonorable skills, but at the same time feels an intense need to employ said skills to keep her family and friends safe

House Cathak and House V'neef are currently in talks regarding a potential engagement between Kilani and V'neef Xelan, Matriarch V'neef's second-youngest child by blood, which would likely finalize the formal alliance the two houses have been dancing around. Kilani is utterly terrified that she's going to fuck this up somehow.

- Full reference sheet - Couple more dresses - Kilani and her girlfriend (who is thankfully now also her fiance's girlfriend) - Kilani and her older sisters, who definitely don't think she's still twelve - Kilani is slightly obsessed with her fiance's pet hearth cat (ooc I am roughly 60% confident said hearth cat is not a secret Lunar) - She just kind of loves hearth cats in general, really - Outfit/Aesthetic inspiration on Pinterest

Visual Motifs: Dark waters, coral reefs, flowers Aspect Markings: Hair coloration resembles white-capped waves, stygian blue eyes, smells faintly of sea breezes and plumeria blossoms Important details: She has a large collection of alchemically preserved flowers and nearly always wears one tucked behind her right ear

Karal Lei-Xin Twilight caste Solar

Lei-xin is a Lookshyan ex-patriot, quietly struggling to aid her family and homeland without them finding out that she faked her death because she's a wicked, evil Anathema now.

Lei is a natural bridge-builder, winning friends and allies across multiple factions. She counts at least one of nearly every type of Exalt a friend, and her most ambitious project to date is helping the Dragon Kings of Rathess rebuild their civilization and rejoin the world's stage.

Lei-Xin became one of the most talented chefs in Creation and beyond sort of by accident. The excessive amount of pastries she tends to send home with her Shieldbearer husband has even started to win over a few Bronze faction sidereals.

- Full body ref - Slightly outdated doodle, but cute - This was the very first thing I drew on my ipad :D - Outfit/Aesthetic inspiration on Pinterest

Visual Motifs: rabbits, clouds, Important Details: Always wears a necklace of some sort with a red gem on it (a simple choker is most common since it doesn't get in the way when she's working but she has several styles) and a moonsilver wedding band.

#Exalted #Exalted Secret Santa

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wesawbears · 3 years

Text

My @geraskierholidayexchange gift for @keepcalmandexpectopatronum934. I hope you enjoy! This ended up being inspired by the movie Elf. Happy holidays!

In and out Jaskier, he told himself as he adjusted his new work uniform. This was just a temporary gig until he got back on his feet. Besides, it was performance experience, in a way. Perhaps not the kind he’d been expecting, but he’d learned long ago to not look a gift horse in the mouth.

Or a gift paycheck, as it were.

With a good luck jingle of his hat and a final tug on his elf ears to ensure they stayed in place, he headed inside to a Christmas wonderland.

More accurately, it was a mall toy store, but hey. Magic! Christmas spirit! Jaskier had never been fussy.

He looked around, glancing at the children milling about, exasperated parents trying to keep them from knocking everything off the shelves. Jaskier supposed he should be grateful, considering cleaning up their messes was now part of his job. Not seeing a manager around, he found the first employee he could see.

The man was tall, with snow white hair tucked up underneath an elf hat similar to Jaskier’s. He was hanging ornaments on a tree in the center of the store, likely ones that some of the running children had knocked over in their haste. He leaned down to pick up a stray ornament the man had missed, hoping to extend it as a token of goodwill toward his fellow employee.

“I love the way you hang those ornaments. Truly an, uh, inspiring show of elfdom.”

The other man stared back at him like he was a space alien, which, okay, fair, that wasn’t one of Jaskier’s better introductions, but what was he supposed to say?

“I’m working on this alone. Go away before Emhyr finds you and fires you.”

“Sorry. Just a bit turned around. I’m Jaskier.” He stuckout his hand, only to realize that his coworker had his hands full.

“Geralt,” the other man said, not glancing away from the tree.

“Nice to meet you! Do you happen to know where the manager might be then?”

As if on cue, another voice sounded behind him. “Geralt, those ornaments are supposed to be spaced apart at 3.8 in.”

“I can’t measure that in my head-”

“Figure it out.” the unfamiliar man turned to Jaskier. “You’re new. Follow me.”

Jaskier gave a last sympathetic glance back to Geralt, before following the manager to the back room.

Well, at least if he was working here for the season, he would have some eye candy while he did it.

It didn’t take long for Jaskier to learn Emhyr hated his fucking guts, and that he would undoubtedly be out of a job come January, but he didn’t mind too much. Being a hated employee ensured that he worked closing shift, which meant he got to work with Geralt. They’d fallen into somewhat of a routine over the last few weeks, cleaning while Jaskier changed the Christmas music to his carefully curated Spotify playlists, which Geralt steadfastly ignored. He’d learned that Geralt worked outdoors, so his job at the local nature preserve didn’t need him during the winter. He also knew that the only reason Emhyr hadn’t fired Geralt for his grumpy nature was that Geralt was Emhyr’s daughter Ciri’s godfather, in an arrangement far too complex for Jaskier to comprehend. In turn, he told Geralt about his performance aspirations, along with every other thought that came to his mind. Geralt didn’t say much, but he listened and made dry comments every so often and Jaskier was in love with him.

Jaskier had always fallen easily, it’s true, but that didn’t take away the flutter in his heart each time one of Geralt’s small smiles was sent his way, a wry laugh into a bottle of water as they waited for the time to switch to ten so they could lock up.

On one such night, the week before Christmas, Jaskier perched himself on the counter, watching Geralt finish cleaning the last of the displays. “Thank you, dearest. You know you’re so much better at organizing those than I am, and I’m pretty sure I’m one fuck up away from getting fired.”

Geralt snorted. “Emhyr won’t fire you. He still needs a warm body in the store and no one else will take night shift.”

“Except you. What is the deal with him anyway? He doesn’t seem the...toy store type. Seems more like a...retail baron to me.”

“He’s not. He’s a regional finance manager. They just couldn’t find anyone else to run the store this year. That’s why he’s being pissier than usual.”

“That...makes more sense. But he gets to see your smiling face, so, you know, a jolly time.”

Geralt huffed a laugh. “Yeah. He’s thrilled to see me. I’m sure my work ethic is what’s keeping him from spiking my eggnog at Christmas this year.”

“Has he...is that a legitimate worry?”

“No. At least, I don’t think so. Probably not.”

“That family dynamic will never make sense to me.”

Geralt sighed and leaned against the counter. “We make it work. For Ciri.”

“Is she excited for Christmas?”

“She is. Between here and spending time with her, I can’t get away from it.”

Jaskier frowned. “You don’t like Christmas?”

Geralt shrugged. “It just...wasn’t a big deal for me growing up.”

“That’s so sad!” Jaskier loved Christmas. Though he didn’t really spend time with his family anymore, he had fond memories of the annual Christmas party- the music, the desserts, the presents. Just the general feeling that all was right with the world.

“It’s fine. It’s just another day.”

“How are you making me even sadder?”

Geralt rolled his eyes. “Dramatic.”

“Of course,” Jaskier answered with a small flourish. “Geralt! I have an idea!”

“Careful. Wouldn’t want to hurt yourself.”

Jaskier huffed. “I’ll show you the magic of Christmas! I”ll be like...your Christmas elf! Your spirit advisor.”

“That sounds horrible.”

“You are so mean to me. I don’t know why I put up with you.”

Geralt shot him an incredulous look, but acquiesced. “What would...that...entail?”

“First rule of Christmas from your official spirit advisor: Christmas is about surprises.”

“I hate surprises.”

“That’s the spirit!”

They decided to hold their Christmas adventure two days later, since Emhyr had told them their services weren’t needed due to a school group volunteering to work as “Santa’s Elves” that day. They met up at the mall at 3, when they usually started work. Jaskier was decked (the halls) out in a very shiny Christmas sweater, while Geralt was in his finest funeral blacks. He had dressed warmly though, as requested, so Jaskier wasn’t going to complain too much.

“Ready, star pupil?”

“No. But I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

“You do not.”

“Hmm.”

They headed out into the cold. The mall was just a short walk away from the rest of town, and Jaskier figured they could look at the lights on the way there. “My mom and sisters and I would always go walk around and try to pick our favorite lights every year. I thought we could try that. As an easy intro activity.”

Geralt glanced around, furrow in his brow. “They all look the same.”

“They do not! It’s like you’re not even trying.”

“Then show me what you see, spirit advisor.”

“Fine,” Jaskier huffed. “Those ones, over there. They look like icicles on the trees. I like them because they sparkle off the snow and from far away, they just...ooze Christmas.”

“Hmm.”

“But I also like the more colorful ones. You can’t tell me that seeing lights everywhere doesn’t leave you feeling the least bit festive?”

“They’re just...bright.”

“Fine, sir humbug. Be difficult.”

They made their way into town, Jaskier showing him different lights, and Geralt remaining unmoved. He felt it was truly a lot cause when Geralt made a noise next to him. “Those ones.”

“Which ones?”

“There. Next to the coffee shop.”

There was a small display, only the barest flash of lights that looked like holly and ivy. They were much more subdued than anything Jaskier picked out, but he couldn’t bring himself to dull Geralt’s small bit of enthusiasm. “They’re lovely. See, you’re getting the hang of it!”

“I’m also getting cold.”

“There’s just no pleasing you. Well, I suppose we could stop for a cup of hot chocolate.”

“Hmm.”

Jaskier led them inside, ordering a large hot chocolate for himself, while Geralt ordered a black coffee.

“Geralt! Come on, you have to get something at least a little Christmas-y.”

“Fine. One pump of peppermint.”

“Oh for the love of God.”

He allowed Geralt his approximation of holiday cheer and sat at one of the tables. He watched smugly as Geralt took a sip and held back a grimace at his concoction.

“How is it?”

“People put peppermint in coffee all the time. How do they like this?”

“Well, usually there’s also chocolate…”

“Too sweet.”

“Unfortunate,” Jaskier said, taking a large sip of his hot chocolate.

“Jaskier...I...appreciate you doing this for me, but I think I’m just not meant for-”

“For Christmas? For nice things?”

“It’s just not my thing.”

Jaskier pursed his lips. “Well, be that as it may, I am your spirit advisor, and I did promise. At least allow me to try one more thing.”

Geralt nodded. Bolstered by his reaction, Jaskier pulled a small box out of his jacket.

“What’s that?”

“Well, it wouldn’t be a very good Christmas demonstration without a present, would it?”

“I don’t have anything for you.”

Jaskier waved his hand. “Seeing your face as you open this is gift enough. Open it!”

Geralt took the box wearily and unwrapped it carefully. Jaskier had half expected him to tear the wrapping paper apart, but instead he carefully untucked and smoothed out every edge. Inside was a small ornament, in the shape of a lion’s paw. Geralt stared at it quietly and Jaskier felt himself fidget.

“I know you call Ciri your little lion cub sometimes. I overheard you on the phone with her, and, you know, maybe I overstepped…”

“Jaskier. Thank you. It’s...perfect.”

He looked up and saw Geralt with a soft smile, only this time it was only for Jaskier and he felt his heart melt. “You’re very, very welcome, Geralt,” he said, reaching out to clasp their hands together.

Geralt looked at their joined hands and slowly brought them to his lips. He kissed the back of Jaskier’s hand and he felt himself flush like a maiden in a period piece. Gracious, it was warm in here.

“Geralt…”

“I’m sorry,” he said, pulling his hand away. “I shouldn’t have…”

“You missed.”

The furrow in his brow was back. “What?”

Jaskier smiled. “You missed. Let me show you.”

He leaned forward and kissed Geralt softly, letting him take the lead and move forward to capture Jaskier’s lips fully. It was a bit minty and the angle was wrong, but Jaskier felt his heart swell anyway. It was perfectly Geralt.

They pulled away, and Jaskier smiled at the uncharacteristic flush across Geralt’s cheeks.

“Well,” he broke the silence, “I suppose my work here is done.”

“How’s that?”

“Nothing says Christmas like a Christmas kiss.”

“I guess you’re right.”

Jaskier laughed and stood. “You should know I always am, darling. Now, come on! We don’t want to miss the ice skating rink…”

#the witcher #geraskier #geraskier holiday exchange #keepcalmandexpectopatronum934

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thedistrictsleepsalonetonight · 3 years

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This is why we can’t have nice things (or Jamie’s lucky Dani is a patient woman)

So @the-idea-of-stars submitted a hurt-comfort fic prompt and here’s my best attempt at it :)

*****************************************************************************************

The three rules to getting hurt at Bly Manor, or so Jamie’s heard are these: One, no climbing up on the ledge that hangs midway off the parapet, not even to clear that pesky ivy that hangs all over the walls, very un-aesthetically; two, no putting yourself in precarious situations when Miles was around because the boy had a tendency of fainting around blood; and three, the one that was crucial, no screaming for Dani in case of blood. Especially not when Jamie was the one shedding aforementioned blood.

Saturday made the entire household break rule one, two and three in spectacular fashion.

And it’s such a pity, because the day had started off so well. Jamie had woken up, Dani still snoozing in her arms and had gotten to witness one of nature’s greatest miracles so far: Dani Clayton, prim and proper au pair, drooling on her pillow. An embarrassed facepalm and about five adoring kisses later, they’d found themselves eating Owen’s patented pancakes in the kitchen with the rest of the family. The weekend had found them all lazing around, Flora practically falling into her plate, Miles taking embarrassing photos of her from all angles while being only halfway deterred by Hanna’s warning tsks. After breakfast, Dani had gone to the other side of the house to supervise the kids, and Jamie had walked outside to do a bit of trimming.

It was then that she fucked up first. The ivy just looked so wild and overgrown and she knew she could trim most of it if she could just get up on the ledge. All she had to do was climb up, and then grab onto something and she’d be al—

*****

The adrenaline kept the pain at bay for thirty seconds. It was after those thirty seconds of falling, crashing and her heartbeat pounding in her ears, so loud that it seemed it had set up a new home in her head, the first wave arrived, and before she could control it, the cry escaped her lips.

Jamie gritted her teeth, took stock of the situation. There could be something broken; she could guess from the fact that she absolutely couldn’t move her right arm that was still trapped under her body.

Alright, she could do this. Just had to get up and get inside without making any more noise to alert anyone.

There were just a couple of things that could be a hindrance. The first being the extreme pain that was ringing like static in her ear, a precursor to her previous fainting spells. The second being the fact that she could hear running footsteps from the corridor. Jamie closed her eyes, hoped that it was, by some miracle, Owen or Hannah.

She opened it to the sight of Flora and Miles staring at her. Of course, what Miles was doing was only half-close to that statement. His face was turned away, eyes shielded from the sight by his raised hand.

“Flora, don’t—”

“Dani! Dani! Jamie’s hurt! Come quick!”

Well, that was that, then.

The pain had grown so much that she could feel every part of her arm throbbing. Jamie closed her eyes, heard, very slowly, through static, as though it was coming from very far away, Dani’s sweet voice asking if Jamie could hear her. And then, nothing.

*****

She woke up to the sight of Miles lying on the floor next to her.

Consciousness was the annoying poke of a finger on her arm, a probing finger that somehow knew exactly where it hurt. Jamie groaned, opened her eyes to see the doctor peering at her, turned her head, saw Miles passed out next to her, and closed it again.

(Definitely not heaven, then)

She could also feel Dani’s soft fingers over her other, uninjured hand, and this was perhaps a strange moment to notice it, but there truly was no better peace than the feeling of Dani’s hand on hers. Jamie had had a lot of time to self-evaluate, back when she was locked up, and one of the things that she’d discovered, that she ached for human touch in a way that terrified her. Growing up in a turbulent household hadn’t really given her a lot of chances to receive affection, so she’d become an adult with intense space issues and an inherent craving to be touched, felt and held. It just wasn’t this tangible a need before she’d fallen in love with Dani.

Now it just seemed like whenever Dani was within reach, Jamie’s hands were always reaching out for her. Playing with her hair, tapping out morse code I love yous on her shoulder, tangling their fingers together. Dani grounded her, in a way that even her plants couldn’t. Nature gave her contentment; Dani was sheer joy.

She squeezed Dani’s hand, felt an answering squeeze in return, and the pain abated for that one millisecond.

*****

“So, good news,” Jamie announced, dryly, even though her arm was protesting. “Turns out my arm isn’t broken. Yay!”

Dani glared at her so hard she could almost hear the words written all over her face: You. Idiot. Big Trouble.

Jamie turned to Owen, begged for help.

“In other good news,” he cut in, hastily, “Miles also faints at the sight of awkwardly angled bones!”

Miles sputtered for words.

“I didn’t,” he started, floundered, “faint! It was a momentary nap!”

Flora giggled.

“I — Hannah!”

“Of course you didn’t faint, poppet,” she reassured him, though her lips were twitching. “Flora, could you help Owen out with dinner?”

“But what if Miles faints again?” she asked, and the last either Jamie or Dani saw of them was Hannah chasing an irate Miles who was running after his sister.

Jamie looked at the ceiling, the door, the nightstand, and finally, at Dani’s inscrutable face.

“Blimey,” she tried. “Children, eh?”

Dani blinked at her. “I’m gonna help them,” she said, blankly, and then walked away.

So much for a perfect Saturday.

*****

Dani next came in during dinnertime. Placed the tray on the nightstand, and then just stood there, looking a little lost. Jamie hated it.

“Darling?” she asked, softly, hand reaching out to loosely grab at Dani’s wrist. “You wanna sit down?”

Dani jerked a little, blinked.

“I,” she said, bit down on her lip, and the action wasn’t lost on her. Dani would usually bite her lip when she was anxious about something.

“I can’t — I can’t think.”

“Okay,” Jamie said, leaned up a little, pulled softly, and this time Dani let herself be pulled onto the bed. “That’s okay. Take your time.”

Dani was breathing heavily, and Jamie waited. Kept her hand very, very still on Dani’s, and waited for the panic to pass.

“You can’t do that again,” she said, when her breathing was even again.

“Dani, I know, I—”

“No, hear me out, okay? You were lying on the ground, blacking out and you couldn’t fucking hear me or say anything other than my name, and you — you were in so much pain, Jamie. I couldn’t—”

“—Dani,”

“I couldn’t do anything! You said my name, and I couldn’t help! I was just. I was so useless—”

“Dani,” Jamie kissed her cheek, her shirt clad shoulder, gently rubbed at her arm with her uninjured hand. Dani’s breath was speeding up again. “Baby, baby, stop. I’m okay. You got me inside okay—”

“—I’m just sick of watching the people around me getting hurt, okay? Feel like we’ve had quite enough of that already.”

Jamie closed her eyes. Kissed Dani’s cheek again, and buried her face in her neck.

“I’m sorry,” Jamie said, finally.

Dani took a shuddering breath, turned to face her and kissed her for the first time after the accident. Jamie felt the tears sticking to her cheeks, felt the careful, restrained way Dani’s lips moved over hers, and felt the sudden, embarrassing urge to cry herself. She wanted to bury her head in Dani’s chest and cry until she fell asleep, wanted to be touched, felt, held. She heard Dani murmur You’re okay, You’re okay between kisses, felt her hands trembling as they moved over her face, and, not for the first time, thanked whatever higher power was up there for creating the miracle that was Dani Clayton.

*****

“You’re an idiot.”

There she was. Jamie grinned at her, tilted her chin a little so Dani could get better access to the tiny scratches that had somehow bled, unnoticed, near her neck.

“But I’m your idiot, am I not?”

Dani looked at her in that half-exasperated, half-fond way of hers, carefully kept dabbing at the cut with disinfectant, and stuck out her tongues.

“Ouch,” Jamie muttered, just because she could.

“Where?” Dani was immediately on alert. “Where does it hurt?”

“Sorry, sorry,” she apologized, contrite. “I was kidding. Doesn’t actually hurt.”

Dani glared at her. “Oh, it doesn’t? What about now?”

(The subsequent cry of pain was closer to accurate. Also completely deserved)

“You giant baby.”

“Eh,” Jamie shrugged. “You love me.”

Dani finished putting the band-aid on it, then bent to give the spot a quick kiss.

“I do, unfortunately,” Dani said. “I really, really do.”

Jamie tapped out another morse code I love you on her back.

*****

“You bullied Owen into baking a strawberry cake for dinner? Dani, you know he hates the flavor.”

Dani giggled, and the sound felt like a warm blanket settling over her. “But you love it.”

“I do, but I could’ve eaten anything else, you know that. I’m easy, me.”

“I know that,” Dani said, looking right at her, very seriously. But I don’t want you to just have to eat anything, you know?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” she looked away, searching for words, “that I know you can eat almost anything, and that includes the things you hate, but I want — I want to give you the things you like, okay? I know that technically, you can eat eggplant, and that you can eat pineapple and you can eat mushrooms, but I’d rather you didn’t have to. That’s not the kind of relationship you deserve, alright? I guess I just — I just want you to eat the things you like, that’s all. No adjustments.”

There was the stupid impulse again. Jamie closed her eyes, tried, very, very hard to stop the tears, the burning in her throat. It took a moment.

“Have I ever told you,” she said, when she was sure her voice wouldn’t crack, “how much I love you?”

Dani’s smile was tremulous, and bright and the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. “Not in so many words, no.”

Jamie smiled back.

*****

The next day, Jamie woke up and stared at the ivy hanging over the wall. Watched Miles and Flora running around on the parapet, heard Owen and Hannah yelling terms of endearments at each other through the house, and wrapped an arm around Dani’s shoulder.

“You sure I can’t—”

“—absolutely not.”

“The things you do for love,” she said, and kissed Dani instead.

The things you do for love, indeed.

#the haunting of bly manor #thobm fanfic #fanfiction #dani x jamie #I don't think I've ever only written hurt comfort but here goes I guess #also another incoherent rambling written-at-a-stretch fic from yours truly #no editing we die like dani clayton #thobm #found family feels #submission

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mercutiotakethewheel · 3 years

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Halp! I read Crooked Kingdom and Spinning Silver in the same week. Is there any point in reading any other book ever again?!?!?!?!?!?!!!?!!! (Genuinely open to recommendations.) I am bereft at having finished them, and wondering how soon is too soon to reread Spinning Silver...

lmao god that’s a mood. I mean those are very much my two of my favorites, but of course I have recommendations.

Spinning Silver has a “mirror” novel called Uprooted that explores Naomi Novik’s polish roots and fairytale; it’s a twist on the classic girl gets sacrificed to be locked in a tower by a “dragon” but with wizards and a sick wood.

As for the grishaverse, I don’t know if you’ve already read the grisha trilogy or the Nikolai duology, but I certainly recommend King of Scars at the very least. Nina’s in it and Nikolai and Zoya are two of the best grisha trilogy characters (along with Genya, Tolya, and Tamar who are all also here). I haven’t about to read Rule of Wolves but I haven’t yet. Now the grisha trilogy is disappointing in general, but especially in comparison to Crooked Kingdom, Bardugo’s best novel, in my opinion. However, it’s also not quite as bad as everyone says. The worldbuilding established here is pretty cool, the politics in seige and storm are really fun, and there are really cool characters in it, even if the main protagonist… well. Alina’s not actually a boring or awful of a protagonist, or at least she has the opportunity not to be. She’s incredibly selfish to the point of moral ambiguity, and she’s terribly funny and combative. However, and this is my main issue with these books, she is very much punished by the narrative anytime she seeks agency or power or really does anything interesting, which leaves us with our magical girl chosen one just sort of passively shoved around the board.

Bardugo also wrote Ninth house, which I highly recommend. It’s an adult novel, so the violence -and there is a lot of it- tends to be described and gory and there’s a lot of talk about drug abuse so keep that in mind (plus the main character being abused and her best friend being killed/raped/drugged) so keep that in mind. The main protagonist is really interesting, and features Bardugo’s usual moral greyness. She’s angry, she can see ghosts, she’s traumatised, she has a terrible secret, and she does all of her fighting for abused women. The book has a lot of commentary on classism and elitism, as one should expect from a book about an impoverished women attending an ivy league with dangerous, poorly run, magical societies in it. The worldbuilding is a treat, but expect a lot of ghosts and a lot of rituals.

If you’re looking for more fantasy novels with fairytale vibes/retellings and strong female characters, that’s one of my favorite genres, so I have a few. I’m terribly fond of A Creature of Moonlight, which features a moving wood, a dragon’s daughter, royal court politics, and an uberindependent protagonist. The Cruel Prince is the only faerie book that counts along with the rest of Holly Black’s works, and if you’re looking for more enemies to lovers, you are in luck. The main reasons to read this book, though, is the political intrigue and the murder happy main character. The Once and Future Witches is a take on the suffragette period and witch fairytales. It’s not necessarily my favourite nor do I think it has the makings to be anyone’s favorite, really, but I do recommend it if only for the fairytale retellings and historical elements. Howl’s Moving Castle is an absolute delight, with lots of fun, bickering, main characters, and a very fairytale take on the magic system. I need to read Deathless so bad, but I haven’t gotten around to it yet. I hear only great things about the retelling of the Russian fairytale, though, so I’ll go ahead and recommend it.

Revenge stories are also a favourite of mine, so if you want more of those, my main recommendations are The Count of Monte Cristo and Vicious. The Count of Monte Cristo features our antihero being wrongfully imprisoned due to the machinations of three people. After escaping and getting rich beyond his wildest imagination, Edmound seeks to utterly ruin all three of them, destroying a lot of innocent lives in the process, rethinking the ethics of his revenge plan a lot, and a lot of claiming he’s sold his soul to become Providence. The main drawback is that the novel deals handedly in Orientalism( though I have a lot to say about why discussion of Orientalism is important to understanding Edmound’s character and why he is percieved the way he is by the other characters) and that it features an enslaved woman falling in love with her captor, who is also our protagonist. So yeah, grain of salt. It was written in 1844. Vicious tells us the backstory and the mainstory side by side throughout the novel, featuring two ex-best friends who experimented with killing themselves in order to gain superhero powers. When one of them lands the other one in prison and devotes his time to killing other ExtraOrdinaries, what our superheroes/more-like-supervillains-usually are called, because he likes to play god, our protagonist, the imprisoned friend, escapes for a revenge quest. Along the way he forms an incredibly clunky, adorable found family. I love this novel so much.

If you’re looking for more historical fantasy, I have some recommendations here as well. Diviners is an occult murder mystery set in the 1920s, that really really spends time putting you in the 1920s. It features a fun ensemble cast that grows with each installation, though the main main character of the first book does take a while to grow on you and there’s a boring ass love triangle. Read it for the 1920s and the ensemble cast that really takes off in the second book. The Poppy War is based on the Second Sino-Japanese War with a very enthralling magic system, and a main character who takes moral greyness to whole new heights. It has a laundry list of trigger warnings you need to read before you pick up the book, but the two most important things to understand before getting into it is that there’s a section based on the Rape of Nanjing, which does not pull its punches and the first book ends with our protagonist committing magical genocide on an entire country. In general, this book absolutely refuses to pull its punches and that’s my number one reason for recommending it. London Calling is an exploration of fatherhood with themes on family and catholicism that features time traveling to the London blitz. It’s barely fantasy, and it’s again not a favorite nor will it become yours, but it’s very moving.

Also, this is more of a general recommendation, but I highly recommend Gideon the Ninth. “Necromancer Lesbians explore a haunted gothic castle in space.” What more do you need to hear? Our main character is a snarky butch swordswoman in the first book and the second book is her goth depressed over-achiever enemy turned sort of girlfriend turned mind pal. The fun villain behavior is off the chart, the worldbuilding is immaculate (there’s an in-universe essay in the back that finishes with someone’s snarky graffiti), and it’s funny as hell. The book is about necromancers so the gory descriptions of dead bodies is very much not for the faint of heart. Keep that in mind.

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snoopysfriendwoodstock · 3 years

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u didn't ask for anyone to share their thoughts about this but here i am. it's truly crazy to think the person who created london boy also created ivy and mirrorball... she really has the range. but listening to folkmore and then also going back to listen to the older albums for in preparation for their re-release really makes it SO apparent that lover is the outlier. i really liked it when it was released and i have fond memories associated with it but like, idk. it just wasn't Taylor to me.

i love to hear thoughts ❤️ i totally agree tho like when lover came out i was very happy w it and listened to it a lot and everything but it’s just so... hollow? like it barely has any emotional depth or even really highs and lows. people can say people who think lover isn’t very good hate her being happy but songs like stay stay stay, love story, long live, i’m only me when i’m with you, invisible string, or the best day are actually good while also being happy? we have to sacrifice good song writing and songs that sound good so we can assume some person we don’t really know is happy? sorry but if you write london boy you’re not happy you’re disturbed.

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daughterofhel · 3 years

Text

My icon died last night.

The little black and white cat, Auk (or-ick). A silly name from a badly remembered name from my childhood.

He was pretty much deaf; car got him.

I haven’t seen him since I left Texas, as I moved for a year to VA before finally moving to be with my wife in Vento. One of my guy friends family took him in on their ranch.

It was fitting; I did get Auk from a ranch. He was used to it, loved it even. And this was without the competition of an unhealthy amount of breeding stays like the ones I grabbed him and Ivy up from. I could only take two, my friend the same.

Funny. I had originally gone there to see the birth of a colt only to leave with a cat. Return the next day and get one more, a friend for my tiny runt of a thing.

And who should but all demand it be him to leave with me but Auk? The friendliest of cats that I’ve ever had the pleasure to be around. He also thwarted my attempts at having two girl cats. He was insistent to leave with me and you don’t argue when you’re chosen you know?

I won’t detail the tears following or the rough road and chaos that went on, but many double shifts back to back to back endlessly, a medicated clumsy grandmother with rapidly failing health, and complex roommate situations, I just wasn’t able to provide the needed time and care for my cats.

I cried the entire 45 minute drive to my buddys property when he said he could take them in. I had to pull over twice. They also cried the entire time, being afraid of the car, which made it harder. My buddy, He was the same guy who rescued a big pup clearly abandoned some years back. I had helped train him to not jump on people and other stuff. His folks also owned a longhorn ranch, lots and lots of space.

Those cats deserved better and this was a familiar element, now neutered, vaccinated, and with no stray competition and the dog was so careful. But god. I never wanted to say goodbye to my cats. It didn’t matter though, what I wanted; they needed care and time I wasn’t able to keep providing.

So I dropped them off. As expected, Ivy kept close but never got too close to the family. She simply doesn’t trust; I’ve no idea why such a little thing bonded instantly with me and remained quite the fixed cuddle bug. But she had. I felt worse about it with her than Auk if I’m to be honest.

Auk loved attention. Loved fetch. Belly rubs. This cat was a classic dog and a huge whore for attention. XD He essentially made himself at home and lavished any and all attention, to which my buddies mother instantly fell for this fuzzy dorks charms. He has been well cared for.

I know younger me could’ve and should’ve done better when I got these cats. Mind you, I’ve been gone for over 10 years now, so it has been quite some time. I’m doing what I wish I could have done for my cats then with the two rescues we got last year here.

I was young and working so many hours for nearly no profit after stuff was paid, even living at home and with roommates. I couldn’t afford the extra vet fees I needed or the fanciest of foods or any of that. I loved them, and I felt them being with me instead of the half starving state they were in from constantly competing with so many other cats, was still a better option for them. I still was at least able to do some of the important visits for them.

I cleared their fleas and earmites. I never did get rid of Ivys worms, though I desperately tried. I tried so many ways to get this pill into that cat. Even crushed into wet food. Friends helping to wrap and hold her to make her swallow. All the tricks we found, failed. She just. She wouldn’t take it. And I didn’t have the cash to go every single day and time she needed a dose to a pet clinic. I had checked more than once. It was so much money.

Older, better situated now.. I’ve been able to do right by the cats, Nyx and Tivali, that I have now.

We even saved Nyx’s eye. We have a system to give her her seizure medicine every 12 hours. They’re both fully up to date with their shots and are fixed. Ears totally clean. Monthly newly added anti flea tick collars.

The best food we can reasonably find at the local pet shop; their pelts are beautiful, soft, shiny, and they never smell.

We’ve even found a biodegradable corn based litter we can flush which has been the greatest find.

We get semi regular check ups on our girls and they’re doing just fine now. I’m still proud about saving Nyx’s eye. It was a tedious ordeal. 3-4 times a day we had to clean and medicate a cats eye. We got good at it even if she wasn’t fond of it. Thankfully the vitamins they required were like treats. Even the antibiotics from the colds they had from the shelter.

I miss Auk. And Ivy. And I wish I could’ve not only given them the life I’ve given my current cats now, (I’ve constructed basket beds, hammocks, a whole canopy jungle gym and rope bridge to boot for them with my wife!), but I wish I could have been the one to have them in my life still. I know it was not possible. It wouldn’t have been possible.

But I think of them. A lot. And I knew it was inevitable. Auk would’ve been well over 13 or so years by now. A little old but could’ve lived longer yet for sure. My buddy didn’t mention he has gone deaf. Of course he rarely goes home himself; I don’t blame him. Life’s complicated.

I have mourned these two cats multiple times now. So I’m not thrown into tears upon this news, I’ve cried plenty over the years already. But I’m still sad to hear that fuzzy delight has passed on. I won’t ask, but I hope, and believe, the accident was a quick end for such a friendly guy.

I’ll mourn him eventually in full. I know I will. But considering this is the fourth major bad news I’ve gotten in less than a month and most of it a week, I thought to write about it. If only to keep sane.

May I not receive the same news of my grandmother or my sister who both remain in the hospital.

And god. May my mother stop forcing me to recall and talk about our shared trauma under my father and just keep me up to date on my families health. I don’t want to be crushed under this suffocating vice on my neck that makes me hesitate to call and see my family. I know she needs to vent. And god. I try to let her. I do. I try to be kind; she needs it.

But it isn’t the time and place when I’m trying to figure out if my grandmother is dying or getting better. I shouldn’t have to receive that confirmation, be granted a brief video called hello and check in, with the price of an hour long dredge through a past I personally have gone to two different types of therapy through to try and cope with. Which, only to some degree, have helped.

One of the last longer calls we had she all but said she hoped her theories on my father possible molesting me were true, so, you know, that would be one more trauma we had in common. She went on and on, even trying to provide loose evidence to her theory. Troubling sentences I would say in my rare visits. Etc. She just. Wouldn’t. Stop. And that was after an hour of recalling how terrible her life was with my father and the abuse, the screaming, the terror, the hiding, the injuries, all of it. As if I wasn’t left to live my life with this very man she said her three years with ruined her more than all her past shit combined.

She assured me she was a good mother who tried. And honestly. No. But I do believe she tried. But she was already weak emotionally and mentally and my father wrecked what was left. She left me sometimes for a couple days lock in that house when I was in diapers. You don’t forget that shit. I’m still scared of the dark. I can’t reason with myself on it. But being mad about all of it doesn’t change anything and would hurt a woman already broken. Why would I do that.

Still. It bothers me. So fucking much. But she’s such a fragile person in a fragile emotional state with everything else on top. She’s been heavily depressed for many many years and it’s a bunch of other stuff that spirals and honestly, at this point, she’s toxic even to herself. I’ve tried working on it with her but it matters not if she’s not willing to work on it too. I don’t know my mother besides her many traumas. We’ve been separated and estranged for most of my life. Unless I was physically able to actually be there and provide a use.

But that’s par for the course; no one will have you around if you’re unable to provide something for it. My wife’s the first person who genuinely seems to enjoy having me around just because and wants nothing more. I do stuff of course; but with her I am not afraid a slip up could mean everything it taken away and lost. I can forget the dishes once or had a bad mental health day and stay in bed without it having catastrophic consequences. She’s such a wonderful kind woman; I cannot help stressing over how to repay her.

I try and I’ve expressed my distraught on the topic and though she always seems baffled and confused about my insistence that I should be doing far more, that lass doesn’t agree at all. It’s her parents home so I am not able to freely run the house as I would on our own, as I’m able and have in many places, so I’m often less useful with the restrictions. She’s also use to the flow and swing of things and has things half done before it’s being asked.

Our own place will make life smoother and calmer for both of us; most importantly her. I’ve watched this family, sweet, but absolutely tone deaf to how many and often their demands are tossed to her. All the other kids moved out with partners. Hell, the oldest s child basically lives here. Our own hurdle with raising a kid who we don’t have the final say on any single thing. His grandparents are enablers cuz they don’t want to hear any loud noises, no matter what. And that causes strain when the kid can and does get anything and everything as long as he kicks up a fit. And he sure as hell does. There are days it’s so bad my wife’s in tears. And that pisses me off. The kids a good person, but the fact no one will actually parent and draw definite lines and be firm with No’s can also make him horrible too.

I’ve to deal with the chess match that is my father. I often call him my own personal Devil. He kind of is. But one I’m familiar enough with at this point in my life. I know where and when to cut my losses, where to step around, when I need to swallow my pride or the easily seen through lies, and nod my head. If he was all terrible, I could have cut him from my life. But no one ever really is. And I do know I owe it to the man; he has helped tremendously in my life as much as he’s been a big problem of it. I know his biggest fear is to be alone and forgotten. I wouldn’t do that, not even to the devil.

I need some bland news. Not thrilling. Not depressing. Just some ‘hey that happened’ ‘oh cool.’ Kind of news. Just a small reprieve.

Im. Scared. Of what’s next.

I. Know that things are teetering dangerously into a very very tragic terrible story on my mothers end. I know her husbands already super suicidal. My half brothers severely autistic, non verbal, among a few other things and will require his whole life to have someone be there for him. He’s not stupid, and I hate when people treat him as so, but he is absolutely unable to care for himself. He doesn’t have the right motorskills even, though we’ve gone to many different places to try and help him find ways to do actions in his own way that still get the same result. I admire how he’s such a positive little man, generally not just happy, but delighted. I aspire to look at the world like he does. He reminds me to try. I do love that about him.

He is, however, a Big boy, 15 now, and growing. He’s also very strong now. My mother is getting to an age where his, as well call em happy slaps, are really hurting her. He is generally good about slapping your hands and not your back if you provide them. But when he is upset he is a shover; one bad fall could really cause a lot of chaos for my mother with her health. The husband spends most of his time locked in his room.

My half sister is epileptic. They have done tests for years and can’t figure out all her triggers or the whys. They just sometimes stop for a long time then suddenly happen. She’s 16, turning 17 soon. And I don’t even know if she’s going to be, since my mother won’t let me know. And there are large gaps from my sister being on tech due to concerns of what triggered her seizure this time so she’s often removed from electronic devices for a time.

When I had turned 21, my mother and her husband tried to have me sign a paper to become legal guardian of my half siblings, should something happen to them, so the kids didn’t get separated.

At that time, I was still taking care of my fathers mother along with working at a shit job, and had a house full of temporary roommates who I had offered rooms to as a sort of safe house for them. I have a knack for finding people from broken homes, what can I say? With the house my father and I built, we had space, so I used it. I was able to help the girls get out of toxic places, get on their feet, and move on. Not all of them always. But it did generally work out. One has a boyfriend who was growing worse to her on top of getting more and more into hard drugs while also she dealing with an abusive aunt who got worse once her mother died of cancer. So she was stuck with the terrible boyfriend. I had her stay with me as soon as I heard.

Another was complicated, but generally revolved around the alcoholic mother and the many, shady, men in and out of the house. The dangers of that alone were.. problematic without the friend also being suicidal and not taken seriously. I’ve stayed many times with her to just hang out, clean, cook, or even read a book cuz she just wanted to hear someone talking and such. You know? Until eventually I had her move in with me too.

Another’s mothers died of a cancer and dad an alcoholic; not abusive, he just became childlike and super forgetful. To a hurtful degree in his totally dependent state, whenever he was home. Plus their whole little trailer smelled of piss. And her boyfriend (they’re married with kids and happy now) was in jail. He had a bad past but had cleaned up his act quite well, but. Well that’s complicated. We all know that the police don’t squint at details of any issue if the accused has a problematic past.

I had two different girls with trouble at home who were being used by their family to constantly work, clean, and pay for everything.

I had an ex and her girlfriend with problematic homophobic parents who were terrible and semi violent so I had them stay with us so they could be together somewhere safer.

I did not. At all. Have the assured means to also be a parent of ten children with very different needs nor any medical benefits to help out with.

I also knew, that, with how my mothers husband was, if he had some guarantees for his children’s safety, he would likely end his life if he could. He’s been so close so many times. If signed this paper, he would have the last big most important concern that’s kept him from.. I just. I didn’t want him to do it. I selfishly didn’t want to be responsible for my siblings that would take away any bit of time I had for myself away. If anything happened, I would not abandon and forget my siblings. That’s absurd. But my mother implied heavily she wanted to be sure of that. And thus this paper.

I was struggling to find aid for college so I could go to school (never got to, by the way. Minus two classes in total. Aced them both, but it doesn’t matter. Credits in the wind). I was already dealing with my grandmother. The girls I chose to help. My shit job. My fathers temper and his horrible horrible ‘on again off again’ girlfriend. The chaos that alone committed.

I was busy providing a safe space in my home and making sure it stayed that way for the rare times trouble makers made the mistake of stepping up to my door to try and harass my girls.

I often worked 10 days in a row before a day off. Many of those days often had double shifts which were 16 hours. Sometimes I got an hour nap on the double shifts.

I just couldn’t do it.

And now. I remember something that came to mind back then that comes back to mind now. My moms husband adores my grandma. She’s been better to him than his own mother. She’s dying. He’s not taking it well and his mental health has always been pretty low and in the last couple years, already dangerously rock bottom. I’ll admit, same.

His daughter is now in the hospital. My brother is smart but there are some things we can’t really explain for him to get. He understands something is wrong but not sure what and it upsets him. He doesn’t like change and gets super fussy for it. Which can be taxing and hours and days and weeks of it. Grandmas been in the hospital for a couple more or more now. She coded a few days ago but they got her back.

If grandma dies. If something happens to my sister…

God. I don’t see that man sticking around.

And with my mom isolated. A lot of it her doing with her own family but also a good part of it being dumb petty bs of other folks that have no reason to behave like that (a whole drama I don’t have the energy to keep up with..). I just.

I see it as a domino effect of terrible terrible events I don’t want to write.

My mothers side im not very close to. I don’t blame my cousins, we were kids ajd our meetings were brief as they were. But the adults kept their distance with me. No one expected me to survive and decided it was easier to not get attached. To not get involved with me, and by extension, the devil himself, my father. So I never got the chance to know that family. Even when I tried.

So the only family I do have some ties to ajd know, is in a hospital bed, or on my dads side, and they’re dying to. And I get it… that at a certain age in life, many of the people around you start to. It’s just life. Ajd it sucks. And I miss having a best friend. I miss having friends who just seem to like to have me around. Want to have me around.

And I wonder if the friends I thought I made with my roommates were just because I provided something for them. Sure we laughed a lot, we cried over shared traumas, celebrated holidays together so as to not be alone.

But not a one speaks to me now. And hey. That’s also life. But it makes me feel pretty shitty; every where I look in the past, I can’t see any relationship, family, partner, friendship, that ever had me around unless I was providing services they wanted and needed. And I don’t mean the natural give and take.

I’m aware that I’m not the friend folks have around. I’m a fun distraction at best and have been told and reminded as such. I feel like shit cuz my wife’s wonderful and the best person in my life, and yet I still mourn having close friends to hang with. I miss gaming together the most. Or the bullshitting. Sharing food.

I’m not a nice person. I’m working on it. I am. I’ve also, for years, been working on my own personal problems so as to not bring them into even conversations. I don’t know what I am doing wrong but I just.. can’t seem to keep anyone around. And frankly.

I find myself crying about it a lot with no idea what to do.

And. I’m burnt out.

I don’t want to make friends anymore. And yet I still crave it. Which sucks. I can’t stop seeming to want that. And I keep trying. And trying.

I’m trying to accept and be happy with any bit of time I get from the few friends who talk to me. I try to take my chances where I can to hang out (online, as they’re all distance by now), cuz I know it’s a short window and I’ll be lucky to get a next time in the near future.

Online is harder to provide a use, and once the ‘honeymoon phase’ of the friendship winds down, some drop off the map entirely. A few abruptly. And I just. That’s fucked me ho a ton. I can’t even express how many hours I stay sitting. Thinking. Unable to understand what I am not doing or what I am.

It’s a pity party. I know. But it’s fine. I’m still the only one at it and though I’m quite forward even with nerves eating away at me, I still just don’t know how to keep anyone in my life.

It’s taken almost 6 years for me to relax enough to believe my wife will, in fact, stick around.

But at this point in time, I’ve realized, on a note I just keep getting really sad over, that the bits of friendship I’ll get to experience with people, will be brief, snippets, and frankly, only if I am providing something they’re not getting.

I’m essentially the magazine next to the toilet when you have a bad bad stomach bug and your phones dead.

Man’s that’s.. probably my own doing. I know I’m a lot of woe is me in here. And it’s a post talking to me, so I’m indulging in it. I absolutely can’t out loud or in life. I’m working on just.. trying to feel instead of ignoring it. Per my therapists suggestions. So I feel fucking overwhelmed, sad, and alone. Isolated. Heavily.

Ignorance is bliss for real. I wish I wasn’t so aware that I was the friend you go to when all options are down and you’re bored. When you are in a bind and need a safe spot (I don’t mind that one but it does suck that it’s the only time some folks pop back in or up). That if I’m not working then no one even has a small little want to just say hi. I wish I had people who just wanted to say hi because they just.. missed me? I gues?

I wish I knew how to be better as a person and a friend. I thought I was making strides on that. I really had. And yet.

Here I am. Just.

Bitching to the void. Becuase my wife doesn’t need me to add more to her life with her father (finally back from the hospital after surgery) and his health concerned along with everyone else’s and the own sets of ordeals here. I don’t need her to fret over me.

She’s needed distraction and I’ve left her alone for a couple weeks now to her drawing. Probably one of the best things I did do for her was clean up a space for a literal drawing room for her. She’s happier for it. People compliment her art and she rather enjoys the well deserved attention.

I personally would love to have her around more. But I’m having a lot of bad shit days. Weeks at this point. And I’m using my energy to be useful in setting the table or doing the dishes, the cats, playing with the nephew, etc.

All I want to do is sleep.

Frankly. I’m tired of waking up.

But for her. I will.

#void screaming #ignore

3 notes · View notes

higuchimon · 3 years

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[information]

I decided since my old 2021 Resolutions post was so horrifically out of date, that I should write a new pinned post. I recommend reading this for information about me.

First: no more writing resolutions. I'll write what I can, when I an.

Second: I am non-binary/agender. Pronouns are they/them, though I responded to she/her so long that I am not bothered by them. I'm also asexual & aromantic.

Third: I am nearly fifty. My fandoms of choice are, in no given order, are: Power Rangers (MMPR-PRLR, with occasional dips into later ones), Digimon Adventure, Digimon Adventure 02, Digimon Tamers, Digimon Frontier, Digimon Xros Wars/Hunters, Digimon Applimonsters, Digimon NEXT, YGO DM, YGO GX, YGO 5Ds, YGO Zexal, YGO Arc-V, YGO VRAINS, YGO Sevens, Binan Koukou Chikyuu Boubeiu Love & Love Love, Binan Koukou Chikyuu Boubei Happy Kiss, Kingdom Hearts, Pokemon, and Trollhunters. Digimon tri & Digimon Kizuna I might take small bits from but am not overly fond of them. Nothing more needs to be said on that front. YGO GX is the blood in my veins. I am unlikely to writee any given game for Pokemon.

Fourth: I have a large backlog of prompts for fics, both submitted by others and taken up for myself. If you wish to send in a prompt, the inbox is always open but it may take time for me to get to it, depending on my mood and what the prompt sparks. Please check "higuchimon prompts" for lists of prompts.

I warned you. All right. Here we go. You'll see some concepts and preferences pop up repeatedly. Tread with caution.

Digimon Adventure 02

Non-epilogue compliant: fics where the epilogue (and now that they exist, Tri and Kizuna) isn't going to happen. Non-canon ships (most often Ken x Daisuke & Taichi x Yamat0) abound. Fics seldom related to one another unless otherwise noted.

Loss, Gain, & Other Heartaches: A new enemy brainwashes a lot of human Chosen and their partners, after destroying the original twelve's patners, leading to the Digimon's data being merged with the Chosen's.

Division of Destiny: What if Vamdemon turned Sora into a vampire and from there defeated the Chosen? Well, he ended up turning Taichi, Jou, & Mimi into vampires as well, while imprisoning Hikari and giving Yamato, Takeru, and Koushiro to Piemon and the Dark Masters as slaves. A pesky rebellion formed of Daisuke, Iori, Miyako, Ken, Osamu, and various other charactes tries to fight them. Firm ships are currently just Ken x Daisuke.

When Blood Crosses: Oh, one of my favorites and probably my oldest AU altogether. What if humans and Digimon could have children together? And what if they did already? Seven out of twelve of the Chosen are part Digimon - or more. This is a full-blown multiverse. Stories don't always relate to one another, but the basic concepts tend to be the same. Ships can vary but for the most part are Taichi x Yamato, Jou x Koushiro, Mimi x Sora, Hikari x Miyako, Ken x Daisuke, and Takeru x Iori. Not averse to Piemon x Takeru, either.

Quiet Interlude: Little fluffy pieces featuring Taichi x Yamato in an establihsed relationship during 02 and beyond.

Adaptions: I don't have much written here but I have Such Plans. It will involve Things Happening to Taichi (in season 1) and Daisuke (season 2). It will probably end with Taichi x Yamato and Ken x Daisuke.

Take To The Skies: In this world, some people have wings and can fly. Daisuke is a Flier. The Digimon Kaiser thinks that makes him the perfect pet. But he will need training, of course. Kaiser x Daisuke. Other stories might involve the others who have wings.

Return of Old Enemies: Takeru is captured by two strange Digimon and collared so he can't speak. That's only the beginning of what's going on.

Fragmented Memory: Kaiser x Daisuke. Kaiser has wiped Daisuke's memory and convinced him that they're together. The other Chosen are not happy about this.

Broken Bonds: A soulmate AU featuring Piemon x Takeru. This is also a breeds AU. Piemon murders Patamon and takes Takeru.

Fight To Remember: Kaiser has lost his memory. So has Daisuke. Together, they need to learn who they were, who they are, and who they're going to be. Ken x Daisuke, obviously.

Services Rendeed: Daisuke gets poisoned and the cure lies within territory controlled by the Kaiser. The only way to save him is for the Kaiser to do it. His price - Daisuke himself. To be his until he gets bored with Daisuke. Sadly, the Kaiser isn't easily bored. Ken x Daisuke.

Stirring Shadows: Ken had a very naughty dream about being the Kaiser again and wanting to dominate Daisuke instead of the Digital World. Now, it was just a dream - right? Ken x Daisuke, older.

Scars of Victory: The Digimon Kaiser defeated the Chosen and took Daisuke as his trophy. For seven years he's ruled over the Digital World unopposed, having blocked the older Chosen from entering the Digital World. Now the barriers have dropped - and revenge is best served cold. Ken x Daisuke, brainwashing, off-screen death.

Course of Events: Set in a breeds AU: Vamdemon notices something unusual about Daisuke when he's in line to meet Tailmon and sends him to Piemon, who discovers who and what he is. How interesting. No current ships.

Walking The Edge: The Chosen have fought the Kaiser for years without knowing his true identity. Daisuke has also been dating Ichijouji Ken for years. So when the Kaiser finally reveals who he is - well, Daisuke has a choice to make. And the Kaiser will only allow one.

Dark Brotherhood: breeds AU. Ken, as Kaiser, has discovered that his half-brother is Yamato. Or rather, Anbumon. An alliance is offered. Ships: Yamato x Taichi & Ken x Daisuke.

Danger Zone: The Kaiser is very annoyed at Daisuke's continued existence as his enemy. So he decides to change where Daisuke's allegiance lies. Kaiser x Daisuke.

Hidden Truths: Miyako-centered breeds AU, also involving Jou and his dark side Fuseiimon. No ships centered, but light indicationss of Ken x Daisuke, Jou x Koushiro, and Taichi x Yamato.

Errors of Love: Aged up AU. Daisuke is dating the Kaiser. This is probably a very terrible mistake. KEn x Daisuke.

Magical Educations In Love: Magical school AU. Established ships: Ken x Daisuke, with possible Ken x Daisuke x Takeru.

Shadowed Soul: Piemon x Vamdemon x Takeru. is it love or just sex? Takeru wishes he knew. It's also a soulmate AU.

Melody of the Heart: A world of magic and magical creatures. Loosely a mirror of my breeds verse (and I do mean loosely). Established ships: Taichi x Yamato, Ken x Daisuke, Jou x Koushiro, Mimi x Sora. Others to come.

What He Wants: M rated/non-con, Kaiser x Daisuke. That's pretty much all there is to it. Just a couple of drabbles now but I'll expand it later.

Game of Life: breeds AU. The Kaiser's noticed something about some of the Chosen and wants to know what's going on. Undecided ships.

Bitter Bargains: The Chosen have fought the Kaiser for years. He's shown a rough attachment to Daisuke - kidnapping him on a regular basis. Then one day, Daisuke wakes up to find the Kaiser in his bedroom. Oh, dear. Non-con Kaiser x Daisuke.

Sanguine Bindings: Aged up AU - and Ken's a vampire, who mind-controlled Daisuke from episode 2 onward. Brainwashing/mind control/non-graphic non-con.

Purpose of Existence: Kaiser found out about Daisuke being a very special breed and claimed him for his own. Daisuke doesn't like this but something isn't right - he listens, whether he wants to or not. Aged up/breeds AU. Ken x Daisuke.

Buds and Blossoms: A romance between Hikari and Mimi. That's about it.

No Good Decisions: Daisuke accidently eats something he shouldn't have in the Digital World. It wouldn't be so bad - if the Kaiser hadn't found him and determined that someone needed to watch him. Ken x Daisuke.

Blood Of His Blood: Breed AU. Piemon wants to live again and will ensure that he does, through his oldest son.

For All Time: Taichi's been in an accident and Yamato's not sure when he will wake up. Taichi x Yamato.

Heart of Demon, Soul of Angel: AU where Taichi is an angel and Yamato is a demon. At least it starts off that way. A lot is going to change. Established ships: Taichi x Yamato & Ken x Daisuke.

Bonds & Bondage: Kaiser goes ahead and Rings V-mon. This affects Daisuke, unexpectedly. Now what will the Chosen do? Ken x Daisuke.

Fireblood: Breeds/Firestarter/Healer AU. Vamdemon bites Yamato and awakens his dark side - not good for anyone at all. Taichi x Yamato.

Flaming Ivy: The 02 Chosen are Healers and Firestarters and are working out what that means for them. Ken x Daisuke.

Digimon Tamers

Fair Wings: Some of the Tamers have wings, including Juri, Kenta, and Ruki. Adventunres and romance thereof. Established relationship: Juri x Takato.

Digimon Frontier

Consequences of Games: Just a set of fluffy post-canon fanfics featuring the Chosen playing games and what happens after the games. Firm ships include Kouji x Kouichi and Junpei x Izumi.

Heirs Apparent: Lucemon's spirit escaped confinement and was able to have an encounter with Kimura Tomoki, siring twin boys.

Godslave: So, Lucemon is the God-King of the world, ruling humans and Digimon alike. What he wants, he gets. And now he wants Kouji.

Tales of WInd and Water: Stories that cicle around Ranamon and Izumi.

Reflections of Dark Shadows: An AU where Kouji doesn't have a twin. What he does have is a reflection - and the reflection doesn't like his boyfriend. Established Takuya x Kouji, one-sided Kouichi x Kouji.

The Wind-child: A fantasy AU where Izumi is the daughter of AncientIrismon and has many adventures.

Yu-Gi-Oh Xros Wars/Hunters

Not Telling All: Yuu is a vampire with a taste for Tagiru. Tagiru doesn't know - at least not yet.

Hunting The Great Game: A rewrite of Xros Wars/Hunters. Set three years instead of one after the Xros Wars. Taiki finds himself back in the Digital World and that's where it all begins.

Digimon NEXT

Knight Tales: Fantasy AU. Kahara Shou's village is slaughtered and burned down and he's the only survivor. Taken in by Barbamon, he becomes the Demon Lord's devoted Knight.

Yu-Gi-Oh DM

Pleasures of Shadows: Yami no Malik has been revived as an incubus.

Crimeland: An AU where there are three Kaiba brothers (Seto, Seth, and Mokuba) and - many other differences I haven't gotten to writing yet. Only set 'ship is Seto x Kisara.

Uncertain Choices: A modern day AU, with Atemu and Yuugi as twin brothers. Only set ship right now is Atemu x Mahaado. If I ever finish the sequel I have in mind, I will add Seto x Yuugi.

Ways of Magic: a magical AU. Seto and Mokuba are dragons. Pegasus is a sorcerer. Mai is a pirate queen. Otogi is a djinn. A few scattered set pairings such as Otogi x Bakura Ryou.

Heart of Magic: a magical AU. This one involves a magical school where various characters are students or teachers. Established ships: Atemu x Mahaado.

Gifts of Power: A Superhero AU. A large chunk of people have powers. Established relationship: Isis x Mana.

Yu-Gi-Oh GX

Reversal AU: In canon, Juudai has the poewr of the Gentle Darkness. Here, in a world very like Dark World but with differences (such as a sun), he has the power of the Destructive Darkness - and he is pure evil, enjoys it, and has the overall goal of destroying all of creation. A small, plucky rebellion stands against him. Do they stand a chance? Time will tell. Be warned: non-consensual Juudai x Johan, as well as someone becoming a vampire, and many other twisted plot points. I love this AU.

Stronger Than Water: We don't know much about Johan's past. So what if he actually grew up in Dark World, as Brron's adopted son? And was sent to kill Juudai? Firm ships are Yubel x Juudai and maybe Yubel x Juudai x Johan. I havevn't gotten far enough to be sure.

Hell's Ice: What if Ryou were the one taken by Kagemaru and Amnael instead of Fubuki? Well, add in some elemental affinities and we have the Hell Kaiser of Ice - one of the Seven Stars. No set ships othe than Yubel x Juudai, though I am debating a few.

Itch To Scratch: Juudai and Yubel are demons. Johan's an angel - or he thinks he is, anyway. What he really is, he'll find out eventually. Firm ship is Yubel x Juudai x Johan.

Bridges: So, in this series, Juudai's power is that of the Light of Creation. Johan has the Gentle Darkness - and Juudai has been possessed by the Light of Ruin for seven thousand years.

Dead Weight: It's the zombie apocalypse! Ahhh! No set in stone ships yet.

King's Champion: When a late-night break-in goes very wrong, Yubel ends up taking Juudai to Dark World for his own safety. He ends up being raised by Brron. But taking him away from Earth has consequence, both good and bad. Yubel x Juudai. Not ruling out Yubel x Juudai x Johan in the future.

Shadow Demons: Juudai: King of Hell, with Yubel and Johan as his Consorts. Ryou, a demon prince. Fujiwara Yuusuke, a shadow mage with Honest as his guardian angel. Fubuki as an angel of love. Asuka slays evil vampires. And much, much more. Established ships: Ryou x Yuusuke and Yubel x Juudai x Johan.

Echoes: Rewrites of different parts of GX. Currently only the Haou arc, but others to come. Established ships: technically none but eventually Yubel x Juudai.

In The Shadows of the Fae: Juudai is the King of the Fae with Yubel and Johan as consorts, and Shou as his servant. A delicious AU that I enjoy. Established ships: Yubel x Juudai x Johan.

In Chains: Fantasy AU. Brron is gifted Shou as a slave, and Shou has to deal with that. Not easy. Established ships: Yubel x Juudai x Johan & Edo x Ryou x Saiou.

In Any World: A series of non-connected Yubel x Juudai AUs. Each is a one-shot and is in a different AU.

Past and Future: Yubel shows Juudai events that happened in their past lives together, as they forge a new future with one another. Yubel x Juudai.

Sky Stories: A lot of people have wings. Juudai didn't - until he fused with Yubel. Ryou has rusted metal wings - until Edo takes care of them. ANd many more stories. Established ships: Yubel x Juudai x Johan.

To Accept Fate's Will: A soulmate AU. Established ships: Yubel x Juudai, Edo x Saiou x Ryou. O'Brien x Sea God's Priestess.

Hole In Your Heart: Not fighting means that Shou's in danger. Especially when he gets captured and sold to one of Haou's servants. As if his third year wasn't already going downhill. No actual ships that I know of (probable future Yubel x Juudai)

In Space, In Light: Juudai sent Yubel into space to be healed by the Gentle Darkness. In canon, it failed. Here, it worked. Uh-oh. Yubel x Juudai.

Paladin's Quest: post ending series. Ryou dies of heart failure and is reborn as a duel spirit without his memories of his past. But that's going to change, because what he did in Dark World cannot be forgotten.

In Darkness We Find FIre: An AU of my own devising, that I call Healer/Firestarter. Healers can heal & communicate/grow plants, and Firestarters bun things. There are a lot more details than that but this tale is a retelling of canon through that lens. Established ship: Yubel x Juudai.

Politics of Ages: Asuka is a vampire queen with two consorts: Manjoume and Ryou. Lots of vampiric politics.

Infinite Love: A magical AU with soulmates. Features Ryou x Yuusuke, Camula x Ruthven (OC), and Edo x Saiou.

King's Knights: Post-canon series. Juudai offers Ryou, Fubuki, and Yuusuke as his Knights. But that's just the beginning. Johan has his own tale to tell.

Passion's Flight: Soul-wings universe. Established asexual/aromantic Asuka. Future Yubel x Juudai.

Prisoner of the Black Tower: Johan is trapped in a black tower by someone called Haou. He doesn't know who that is. And he wants to leave.

Apprentices: A mild alternate timeline, where Kyle and Nero from season 3 meet and become friends - while in Haou's dungeon.

World of Fusion: Brron fused all the dimensions and the world that results is so very different. Now Brron also has three sons: Juudai, Johan, and Rune (the Johan lookalike from season 3). Also, Ryou is a vampire. Established relationships: Yubel x Juudai.

Fate's Heart: Multiple tales of Yubel and Juudai as soulmates.

Power of Earth: Healer/Firestarter AU, featuring Jim and O'Brien.

Family Flowers: Healer/Firestarter AU, featuring Rick and Cobra.

Red Zinnias: Healer/FIrestarter AU, featuring Saiou and Edo

Destructive Flames: A merging of the Firestater/Healer AU and the Reversal AU. It's even less fun than the usual REvers - well, for values of fun.

Spirit Friends: People become friends with Duel Spirits aren't in their decks. Such as Wolf for Juudai and SQuall for Amon.

Bonds of Kinship: Exploring the relationship between Johan and the lookalike - his twin brother.

Yu-Gi-Oh Zexal

Order of the Outcasts: A fantasy AU loosely inspired by AD&D. The Order of the Outcasts is the Barians. Yuuma is a powerful healing mage and Astral is his fae companion. Much fun to be had! Co-written with SilvorMoon.

Committed To Her: Kotori is Queen Merag's slave, and devotedly loves her. Merag would like to return it, but it's not that easy. Obviously, a Merag x Kotori story, and an AU.

Cry of Vengeance: Vector wants revenge on Nasch for a long-ago offense, so he attacks Nasch's boyfriend Durbe. But that's not all he wants his revenge on and he has an interesting way to get it. Vampire/slight magic AU.

On Dragon's Wings: Mizael is a dragon. Vector is a prince who becomes a demon. And many other changes for a fantasy AU. Established ships are Vector x Mizael and Alit x Leo.

Inevitable Encounters: soulmate AU and how they deal with it. Established ships: Kaito x Yuuma, Durbe x Nasch, Kotoi x Merag/Rio, Vector x Mizael

Fae Whispers: Durbe x Chris. Chris is a Fae Prince who offers for Durbe to become a Fae Knight.

Different Numbers: Another soulmate AU. Features Durbe x Nasch, Vector x Mizael, V/Chris x Kaito, Gilag x Sanagi, & Alit x III/Michael x Yuuma.

Prison of the Prince: Vector wishes to keep Fae Prine Mizael as his prisoner. Mizael isn't so thrilled about that. Vecto x Mizael.

Hating Humanity: Durbe finds Nasch and Merag before the Astral Messenger arrive. Without Yuuma's influence, what will Nasch do? Durbe x Nasch.

Blurring: There are multiple ways to detect one's soulmate. Mizael has Vector's name on his right arm and Kaito's on his left - right arm is for the soulmate and left for the enemy.

Yu-Gi-Oh Arc-V

Beat of Wings: Some characters have wings, including Yuuya, Yuuto, Yuugo, and Yuuri. And Shun. And others. No real ships (that I know of) and Yuuri is going to have fun!

Life With A Demon: Featuring Masumi x Yuzu, Asuka x Selena, and past Selena x Masumi. Demon AU, along with other creatures of magic.

Confusing: Yuuri has captured Shun and is training him to be a warrior of Fusion. Shun would rather not - but his mind is now Yuuri's plaything.

Angels, Demons, and Deciding Factors: Angel/demon AU. Yuuri is a demon, who encounters the angel Shun in his territory. Yuuri decides that he wants this angel for his own - mostly because Shun doesn't want that, nor does Yuuto. M rated/consent issues/brainwashing.

Collars and Keeping: Yuuri captured Shun early in the war and Shun escapes the first chance he gets. But Yuuri won't let him go - and there's a horrible punishment awaiting his pet.

Fae Song: Selena x Rin x Ruri x Yuzu. Selena is a Fae Princess and the others are her servants.

Deadly Daughter: Professor Leo Akaba decides he can't trust Yuuri and thus trains Selena to be his sgent to find and captue the other gils with her face. Selena's girlfriend, Asuka, helps - only seeing what happened in the war turns her away from Fusion. Undecided ships.

Dragon and Falcon: Yuuri's a dragon & Shun's a shapeshifting falcon. Yuuri claimed Shun as a part of his hoard and his servant. And it just seems that dragon saliva does something to shapeshifters. non-con/drugged Yuuri x Shun.

Soulwings: In this AU, when soulmates meet one another (or when one's true purpose is found), wings are developed. So when Kaito and Edo cross paths... Established Kaito x Edo and alluded to Yuuri x Shun.

Strike Hard, Strike Fast: Vampire AU. Sora, Yuuri, and Dennis are vampires. Ruri and Shun are vampire hunters. So when Shun crosses their paths, Yuuri decides to take him for his own.

Opposite Ends: Yuugo is brought to Shingo as his slave. Yuugo doesn't like Shingo. Oh, they're going to have a lot of fun.

Dragonflame and Nature's Spark: A HEaler/FIrestater rewrite of Arc-V, mostly featuring Ryou and Mizael, along with Yuuri and Vector. Ship: Ryou x Mizael, Durbe x Chris, and Shou x Michael.

Yu-Gi-Oh VRAINS

A Model Life: Kogami Ryouken is a supermodel. You know, when he's not a cyber-terrorist.

Power Rangers

Flip Of a Coin: Tommy Oliver is Tommi Oliver here. Gender-switch from birth.

Soulborn: Soulmates from the Power Rangers. Established ship: Cassie x Phantom. Future ship: Kat x Tommy.

BKCBL

Burning Inscription: Soulmates have the most important words spoken to them by their soulmates written on their arms. On Kinshiro's: I am Battle Lover Epinard! Nonsense. Atsushi x Kinshiro.

Love of Spirits: Kinshiro is a spirit of the sun. Atsushi is a wind spirit. The others are also magical beings. Kinshiro x Atsushi.

Crossovers

Elemental Ties: YGO GX & Digimon Frontier. Juudai and Kouichi cross paths. But they're not the only ones who share elements.

Replacement Vampire: YGO GX & Digimon Adventure 02: Post his defeat in 02, Vamdemon awakens in his Perfect form again, in a new world, where he meets someone he never thought he would - a female vampire. Camula didn't think she'd ever see another vampire. He's not quite her species, but he's definitely her type. Firm ship: Camula x Vamdemon. Also, vampire Seven Star!Ryou.

Scorpion Strike: YGO GX & YGO Zexal: Ryou wakes up in the Barian World, and doesn't know his name or anything else. But he's a Barian now, so he works for the Barian World. Ryou x Mizael.

Those are all my current series. Here are the series that I have waiting in the wings:

Power Rangers

Unexpected Tales: A series of fics about ships I like: Rita x Zedd, Emily x Jason, and Tanya x Adam.

Yellow & Blue: A pair of fics involving Trini x Billy

Digimon Adventure 02

Blossoms of Death: Non epilogue compliant, where a new enemy attacks the Chosen and a lot of things happen including friendship between different Chosen and their partners.

In Our Veins: Breeds AU. Non epilogue compliant and the breeds slowly start to awaken to their powers. Known ships: Ken x Daisuke.

Far From The Tree: Breeds AU, rewrite of a very old story of mine. Starting in the Devimon arc, the Chosen begin to awaken.

Last Dark Master: Breeds AU, another rewrite of a very old story. Yamato attracts Piemon'os attention. No ships at this time.

To True Love: A series about Taichi x Yamato. Mild Ken x Daisuke also.

Heed The Call: The Kaiser discovered the breeds - especially Anbumon, the strongest of them all. Time for an alliance. Ken x Daisuke & Yamato x Taichi.

Digimon Tamers

After Tamers: Post-canon, the Tamers have even more adventures with their returned partners.

Burning Brightly: An alternate take on Ruki and Renamon meeting one another.

Yu-Gi-Oh GX

In Solitude Lies Strength: A slight divergence changes a great deal about Juudai's rule in Dark World.

Different Kind of Darkness: When Juudai encounters a vampire before his rule in Dark World begins, everything takes a dip to a deeper darkness.

After Academia: Graduating doesn't mean that their adventurs have ended. They're just different now. Yubel x Juudai.

Colors of Love: A different soulmate concept - those who have soulmates only see the colors of their soulmate's hair and eyes until they meet - at which point they see all colors, and sprout their wings. Edo x Saiou and Yubel x Juudai, with others to come.

Hi Kari Kouri E: Healer/Firestarter. Kagemaru wants a powerful Frostflame on his Seven Stars team, so sends people to recruit a six year old Marufuji Ryou. Future Yubel x Juudai and Ryou x Yuusuke.

Yu-Gi-Oh Arc-V

Prey and Hunters: Yuuri captures Shun and has a good old time tormenting him. Rewrite of my original "Yuuri torments Shun" story. It will have a crossover with Mythology of Love by SilvorMoon eventually.

BKCBL

Seduction of Shadows: a realm with Io being human, Akoya being a demon, and Ryuu being an angel.

Crossovers

Love Is Out Of This World: BKCBL & Digimon Adventure 02. When the Digimon Kaiser drops into the Student Council Room, things become very interesting. Ken x Daisuke, Atsushi x Kinshiro.

Ties To Magic: Digimon Adventure 02, Digimon Tamers, and YGO GX. A fantasy world where anyone can meet anyone at all.

From Shadows Within: Digimon Adventure, 02, Tamers, and Frontier. A new adventure for everyone! Ships: Ken x Daisuke.

I fully expect to develop more of these in the future. Time will tell! And I will update this when or if the time comes.

#fanfic #higuchimon posts #digimon adventure #digimon adventure 02 #digimon tamers #digimon frontier #digimon xros wars #digimon next #ygo dm #ygo gx #ygo zexal #ygo arc-v #ygo vrains #power rangers #binan koukou chikyuu bouei bu love!#crossovers

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