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astonmartinii · 2 months

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i love him, it's ruining my life [guilty as sin part one] | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem sainz!reader

a contract ends, a relationship is exposed and even with everything on the line, she still loves him.

MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 621,099 others

yourusername: out and about town

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user1: girl? girl? GIRL?

user2: carlos' career is DEAD AND SHE'S POSTING VACATION PICS ON INSTAGRAM

user3: at least they're cute instagram pics

landonorris: y/n i think it's time you finally take that phone off of do not disturb

yourusername: but that's the perpetual state of my phone i am a poet i was born to be in the woods, if you have news tell me now before i close this app in 20 seconds

landonorris: i don't want to air your brother's business out in a public instagram comments literally just scroll through your timeline idiot

yourusername: wait let me open the family group chat

yourusername: WHAT

user4: are we about to see her reaction to carlos losing his seat in real time?

user5: let me grab my popcorn one sec

yourusername: WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME?

landonorris: take your phone off DND for once in your life and maybe you’d be clued in on the news

charles_leclerc: and while you’re at it reply to all the tiktoks i sent you

landonorris: not the time leclerc

charles_leclerc: but but but my tiktoks… i finally got a tarot card reading that resonates

landonorris: NOT THE TIME

charles_leclerc: don’t hate the player hate the game

carlossainz55: really?

charles_leclerc: i am TALKING ABOUT TIKTOKS LEAVE ME ALONE

yourusername: this is a lot - gosh can’t a girl go on holiday without everything imploding (i'll check the tiktoks in a second)

user6: anyone kinda weirded out that charles is just here joking with y/n as if his teammate and her brother hasn’t just been forced out of a job?

liked by carlossainz55

user7: babe he wasn’t forced out of a job, his contract wasn’t renewed. the last time i checked this was a sport where they compete not sit around and sit kumbaya

liked by charles_leclerc

user8: oh! they’re both liking shady comments already, it’s been a day since the announcement

user9: this is gonna get ugly isn’t it?

user10: awful, truly. i’m sat.

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 1,029,458 others

carlossainz55: love all, trust a few and do wrong to none

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user11: .... right, what ever the fuck that means?

user12: i mean i was just here to celebrate the win what is all this poetry

user11: are we shading charles? lewis? ferrari?

yourusername: shakespeare, really?

carlossainz55: i can read you know

yourusername: oh really, that's news to me

user13: erm you guys i thought the whole job loss thing was meant to bring the family together....

user14: they joke like this all the time this is just sibling banter

user15: idk it's reading a lil more tense than usual, not that there's any reason for that (that we know of)

charles_leclerc: doing the tifosi proud ❤️

carlossainz55: will do while i can

user16: yall .... what happened to the chemistry

user17: they were never friends - pierre tried to tell yall

landonorris: a carlando podium !!! lets do this every week

carlossainz55: golf buddies and podium buddies - you love to see it

landonorris: LETS GO WILD AND PUT IT ON FERRARIS TAB THEY OWE YOU

landonorris: i mean let's celebrate your triumph good pal!

user18: the PR monster got lando :( rip

carlossainz55: just being able to win in front of the most important people in my life is enough

user19: does anyone else think it was weird that y/n wasn't at the race?

user20: like y/n loves australia she litr says that she was an aussie in a past life...

user21: also the most recent carlos comment... is y/n not one of the most important people in his life?

user22: do we think something has happened? like maybe he thought she should've cut her holiday short to come home to support him?

user23: also the fact that her and charles were immediately like joking around with each other? maybe it just rubbed him the wrong way

user24: but not even considering her an important person to him? and also that just seems like he's shifting all the blame to charles when it's ferrari who haven't extended the contract

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 892,309 others

tagged: kellypiquet & yourusername

maxverstappen1: she says she's a professional third wheel, i call that being a LEECH

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user29: unlikely trio but somehow my favourite

user30: y/n really be their overgrown child

yourusername: how am i the leech when i paid for the ice cream mr millionaire 🤨

maxverstappen1: ever thought about how i want to spend quality time with my girlfriend?

yourusername: won't someone think of the children

maxverstappen1: ur 23

yourusername: that's it! p and i are unionising against this if you find suspiciously well drawn crayon graffiti on your walls it was NOT me

maxverstappen1: don't threaten my walls if you still want to come to races

yourusername: low blow 😩

user31: does that mean... she's not going to races with carlos?

user32: she's always been in his garage tho like even with how close her and max have always been SHE'S ALWAYS IN GARAGE 55

user33: i feel like this has something to do with the whole seat situation i'm not sure how but like i think there's something weird going on here

kellypiquet: don't worry @yourusername it might be max's house but it's p that has the final say

yourusername: no one gets bluey like i do

maxverstappen1: yeah but while you're here you get the best seat at the tea party IT'S NOT FAIR

yourusername: well one of us can name all the disney princesses and one of us can't

user34: so.... y/n is living with max? but i thought her and carlos shared an apartment in madrid?

user35: guys i'm so confused

user36: we need the twitter detectives on this asap

charles_leclerc: no lec... when i specifically sent you a PR bundle, you hate to see it

maxverstappen1: you only sent that to us for y/n

charles_leclerc: maybe! but i have it on good authority that you loved the vanilla

maxverstappen1: ummmmmmm no i'm a professional athlete, y/n ate all of it

yourusernames: FALSEHOODS

charles_leclerc: i know who i believe

maxverstappen1: why is everyone ganging up on me in this comment section

user37: charles sending lec to max's house just for y/n WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN

user38: and does it have anything to do with carlos maybe kicking her out

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 673,892 others

yourusername: gotta make sure i give p a reason to tell me stick around

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user39: charles is always in the likes before me and i have notifications on

user40: they seem like such close friends it's so annoying that they're never spotted together at a race and we have no pictures of them :(

charles_leclerc: why do i never get any baked goods i literally sent my ice cream to my arch rivals house just for you

yourusername: you're never in the fucking country that's why

charles_leclerc: i have this kind of demanding job i don't know if you knew

yourusername: i also have the demanding job of being sexy and i cope just fine

charles_leclerc: i heard you got employee of the year, hard to be too upset when you're the competition

yourusername: better luck next time babe

user41: openly flirting with the guy that caused her brother to lose his job, this girl is just shameless

yourusername: do you think charles is the literal ceo of ferrari?

user42: why are you defending charles more than your actual brother?

yourusername: i feel like i gotta make this statement every three buisness days on here but like you people don't know what happens in our personal lives and i can defend my friends if i feel they're being unnecessarily questioned

user43: queen snapped omg

user38: they always be out here trying her like she's not a writer and poet SHE WILL READ YOU FOR FILTH

maxverstappen1: pretty sure she'd replace you with me in like two seconds so you're safe until [redacted] gets home

yourusername: i'm pretty sure with the right campaign i could sway jimmy and sassy to my side as well

user44: who the FUCK IS REDACTED

maxverstappen1: wouldn't you like to know 🤨

yourusername: max ???

maxverstappen1: what? i didn't have friends growing up i like that you tell me secrets

yourusername: oh :(

maxverstappen1: you wanna tell me more?

yourusername: NO YOU ALREADY KNOW THE BIGGEST ONE

maxverstappen1: true 💅🏻

user45: so like the secret is defo a relationship right?

user46: do we think carlos knows?

user47: by the fact that he's not in these comments... probably not

user48: so like he looses his seat and finds out his sister is in a secret relationship? someone give the guy a break

user49: or maybe, just maybe, there's a reason that y/n hasn't told carlos and he's not the guy we all think he is

liked by charles_leclerc

user50: OH? this war is so on ....

f1teaspill

liked by user51, user52 and 31,845 others

tagged: yourusername & charles_leclerc

f1teaspill: the war at ferrari is heating up... turns out there's a lot carlos didn't know and FOR YEARS. yes, you're reading that right, y/n sainz and charles leclerc have been in a relationship for at least two years and believe us we have a VERY credible source like WITHIN THE FAMILY level source.

the most important thing about this whole relationship is how carlos did not know for years, so how much more was hidden from him? did y/n know about the seat swap for lewis? was she leaking strategies to charles? was she sabotaging her own brother?

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user53: OH SHITTTTTTTTTT

user54: cancel me if you will but i think the hottest couple in f1 just dropped

user55: the fact we've been robbed of content of them for years .... i'm angry I NEED THE POETRY ABOUT CHARLES

user56: i'm gonna need y/n or charles to drop all the pics in response

user57: y'all a source "within the family"? did these fools find out about y/n's relationship and immediately run to an f1 TEA PAGE???

user58: that's some goofy ass shit

user59: i find it funny that instead of sitting down and thinking about why their daughter/sister didn't feel comfortable enough to tell you about her relationship they're like i know EXACTLY who needs to hear this

user60: the way it's proved her completely right to not tell them

user61: do you guys think this is like a tv show or like fan fiction? in what world is y/n sharing strategies to fuck over her own BROTHER?

user62: also be for fucking real... strategies? ferrari? at least try and be realistic

user63: also.... walk with me .... why would y/n and charles conspire to put lewis hamilton in carlos' seat? LEWIS FUCKING HAMILTON AND SEVEN TIME WORLD CHAMPION? WHY WOULD CHARLES WANT TO TAKE HIM ON OVER A GUY HE'S ALREADY BEATEN TWICE

user64: see this is the point! sainz camp you can try and demonise charles and yOUR OWN DAUGHTER all you want but we all know it's bull shit

user65: one thing about this that really rubs me the wrong way is that the sainz camp clearly expected that if y/n was in a relationship with charles that she would've been a double agent for carlos? and because she's not fucking insane they're now going for character assassination of their own SISTER/DAUGHTER

user66: THIS THIS THIS

user67: carlos won't even consider y/n an "important" person in his life but expect her to sacrifice or exploit her relationship for cheap psychological points

user68: also y/n isn't even at most races so how is she getting carlos' strategies to give to charles? this shit doesn't make any sense

user69: carlos himself has said in an interview that y/n is useless when it comes to racing that she's just a supportive figure rather than someone who has any in depth racing knowledge

user70: this is insane level hating with all the evidence out here... and against your own family...

user71: this just makes me think that y/n wasn't in australia for a reason - like was she banned from carlos' garage

user72: and the fact she's been staying at max's it just makes me think that y/n was kicked out of her and carlos' apartment

user73: now tHATS INSANE

espnf1

liked by pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and 1,025,788 others

tagged: carlossainz55, charles_leclerc & yourusername

espnf1: well... this could be awkward

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user77: espn babe you're just like me

user78: *slides $5 across the bar* get a camera in the ferrari garage?

espnf1: we're working on it 😩

user79: pierre and max here... they really are the paddock gossip girls

maxverstappen1: i guess carlos couldn't handle that i knew who redacted was before him 🤷🏻‍♂️

carlossainz55: really?

maxverstappen1: don't put your sister on the streets and i won't dunk these jokes on your head

user80: is this like the official f1 civil war?

carlossainz55: you don't know anything max, i'd really keep your nose out of our business

maxverstappen1: i actually know exactly how you guys move, you tried it on 17 year old me and it becomes my business when my best friend calls me with no where else to go (also i know you changed the locks while you were in maranello so she wouldn't be able to go to charles, you're not slick)

carlossainz55: i never took you as a lap dog max

yourusername: calling him the lap dog when you're the biggest bitch on the grid - bold

carlossainz55: you're burning a lot of bridges for a talentless slut who had to start fucking my teammate when we cut you off

yourusername: keep throwing your PR to the fire and see who fucking hires you, i guess we'll both be unemployed bums

user80: also imagine calling her talentless like she isn't a well established poet LOL

user81: guys this is getting so bad so quickly

user82: we got the whole rest of the season of this

user83: mad respect to max for sticking up for his bestie

user84: and her actual boyfriend isn't?

yourusername: charles will do his talking on the track like he always does. he won't debase himself with bickering in instagram comments, funnily enough ferrari don't like that - might be the reason he still has a seat and someone doesn't

carlossainz55: or he's a pussy who has his woman talk for him

yourusername: at least he has a woman to talk for him, he doesn't behind his dad at any sign of trouble. i've always known i didn't matter to dad the moment i wasn't a boy but i'm not afraid of him or you and i know exactly how you work. good luck

user85: do they know we can all read this?

user86: when i'm in an oversharing contest and the sainz siblings walk in

user87: those ferrari debriefs are gonna be AWKWARD

yourusername: especially since he doesn't have binotto to hide behind any more

user88: girl you good?

yourusername: i've never been better, this has been building for years even before charles and i got together

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 908,487 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: i love you, it's ruining my life

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user89: y/n i'm gonna let you finish but we could really get the best poetry out of all of this

user90: for real like yeah i'm sorry your brother tried to make you homeless, exposed your relationship, accused you of treason and called you a talentless slut - but think of the poetry!

charles_leclerc: i love you and i hope you're okay

yourusername: i'll always be okay with you

charles_leclerc: it's out now and no one can take us away from each other

charles_leclerc: i'd actually love to see them try

yourusername: i'd go through this fortnight of hell over and over again if it meant i'd still keep you

charles_leclerc: i'd like to say this is the end of it but i think we're in for the long run now

yourusername: i'm prepared to go to war for you

charles_leclerc: there's no one i'd rather be on the front lines with

user91: oh brother... YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A POET WE GET IT

charles_leclerc: * in love with

user91: oh my bad

charles_leclerc: no worries

user91: STILL GROSS BRO

liked by maxverstappen1

charles_leclerc: max ???

maxverstappen1: you guys need to calm down cause i'm not good with words and kelly is gonna start scrutinising my cards and i DO NOT HAVE THE VOCABULARY FOR IT

yourusername: lol

maxverstappen1: lol? LOL? did our brief yet forced stint as roommates mean nothing?

yourusername: fine i'll ghostwrite your valentines cards

user92: so this is all a bit melodramatic

user93: he CHANGED THE LOCKS BRO SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO BE MELODRAMATIC

liked by charles_leclerc

user94: okay so now we're in full blown f1 civil war - who is on each side?

user95: well max and pierre are on charles' side. i'd also add in lewis, seb, oscar, esteban, george, alex, yuki and daniel

user96: so carlos has lando and fernando?

fernandoalo_oficial: it might not be blood but that's my daughter

user96: ????

user97: did he just show up to diss carlos and then refuse to elaborate?

user98: sounds like a nando thing to do .... also just leaves carlos with lando lol

user99: this feels a bit unfair

yourusername: all is fair in love and poetry

fin.

note: so as soon as i had this idea (litr TTPD release day) i have been so busy and WHACKED with the worst writer's block but i hope this is a good start and rest assured knowing the beef will only get worse... I LOVE DRAMA

note: hiii extra note from me here. first, i will fix this tag list at some point idk why it's not working rn. secondly, i have been made aware by multiple people that there is a series just like this one down to characters and the name of the series on here and i can't lie i'm bummed about it. as i said on the first part (?) this is an idea i've had since the release of TTPD (and people will back me up on this) so it bums me out that there are blatant copies coming out! i'm all for inspiration but sometimes there's a difference between taking inspo and copying especially when my masterlist was posted ages ago and my first part was posted on the 9th of may.... anyways that's all i have to say! enjoy xx

taglist: @aadu2173 @rhythmstars @kqliie @booksandflowrs @2bormaybenot @firelily-mimi @evie-119

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 #f1 social media au #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc #guilty as sin?

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devilfic · 28 days

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❝right place, right time❞

VIII. whatever keeps you around.

parts: previously / next plot: bruce has a proposal for you. pairing: battinson!bruce wayne x gn!reader. cw: surgeon!reader, secret identities, slow burn, brief discussion of slight suicidal ideation/martyrdom, drug (and the injection of drugs) mentions, you will not guess what trope I managed to include in here. words: 6.9k. a/n: plotting this series makes me feel like charlie day pointing at a wall of red string

“…You won’t like it.”

It's clear what you have to do. You'd realized it when Gordon came to you, so of course Bruce did too. If you were going to make this right, you would have to face this head on. "I know what I have to do," you start, "I need to lure him out."

Bruce's expression shifts. Whatever you've said seems to be the wrong answer, "That... won't be necessary."

"What? What else can I do?"

"What did Gordon tell you about Dimitri?"

Your head throbs as you recall the memory, "Uh... he said he believes I'm next on Dimitri's hit list. He also said Dimitri hadn't anticipated me being at the house."

"Right, because Russo didn't want anyone knowing where he was." Bruce turns to his computer and brings up Russo's file, "After his divorce and the death of his son, he holed up and started erasing himself from the internet. As far as his neighbors know, he was constantly alone. You already know how hard it was to find him on your own, and unless Dimitri knew someone keeping tabs, it doesn't stand to reason that he found him any easier. But you, on the other hand," Bruce opens a search engine and types in your name. You're unsettled when the screen fills with results, most of them news articles from the night you'd been held hostage, "your name and face was everywhere after the gang war."

When the reporters had shoved cameras in your face and begged for you to tell them about Batman's heroic rescue, you hadn't thought twice about it, still fresh from the throes of gore and violence in the ER. Friends, family, coworkers: almost everyone you knew had seen it.

It clicks for you then, "If Dimitri planned on killing us both and I was easiest to find, why didn't he come for me first? I mean... it was me and Alex who ruined his life. If he wanted anyone dead more, wouldn't it be me?"

"I wondered the same thing. With the know-how and the right connections, anyone could find where you live just by name alone. Russo, on the other hand, is almost anonymous. It doesn't make sense why Dimitri would target Russo first."

"Do you think maybe it was a warning? Maybe he wanted to scare me."

"If he wanted to warn you, he wouldn't kill the guy in his house where no one checks up on him. Days would've passed before anyone noticed the flies in the windows."

"I don't get it."

"Do you remember how long it's been since you were taken hostage?"

Your mind lands on a weak estimate, "I don't know, a week and a half?"

"It's been over two weeks. According to the wardens, Dimitri stopped being a problem for them after the first few years. Friends with a rough crowd but he rarely got caught up in anything. Didn't have the heart to. So why, after 17 years, does he break out?"

Your stomach drops, "He saw me."

"And realized that while he was rotting away with nothing to live for, you were a hero," the word sickens you to hear, "on the front lines, saving lives, being saved. Your life went back to normal."

You grip the side of Bruce's desk with the sudden urge to vomit up everything you'd eaten today, which, frankly, wouldn't add up to much more than water and crackers.

You'd said it yourself: you'd gotten to live a life that Natalie, Dimitri, and Alex never would. Of course he wanted you dead. "So then I have to lure him out."

"And put yourself in danger? No."

"I’m already in danger, Bruce. What if he goes after the others? My parents? My coworkers? The other cops at the shootout? We have to end it now."

"This isn't the only way."

"It's the best way."

"Last time he had a knife, you could defend yourself. Barely. What if next time, he has a gun?"

"So what, you just want to do nothing?"

Bruce turns away from you. He gnaws on his lower lip, "No, I want to bide our time. Look into him more. I need to know if he's working with the Vipers again."

You watch him as he begins typing away at his computer, but you can't process what he's looking for through the haze of anger that washes over you. You lean on the desk, craning your neck up at his face to make him look at you, to understand how ridiculous he sounds, "We don't have time for that. His grudge is with me. I should meet him now and end this... either he gets what he wants or- or..."

Or what? Your stubbornness peters out. You don't know what. You see yourself standing face-to-face with Dimitri, his knife raised, ready to bury itself into the cushion of your chest. And nothing.

The you in this vision has no weapon.

"You don't think you're going to survive this." Coming out of your mind, Bruce is now looking at you, brows furrowed. He looks... mortified.

You scramble to cover your tracks, "That's not true. I'd have you there."

"But you don't want me there. You want to go alone. You think you deserve it."

"God, what are you? My therapist?" Your words flit out of your mouth in a rush, tongue nearly slipping up to defend yourself. You push away from the desk when you start feeling overexposed.

Bruce follows you, "You're not 16 anymore, this isn't some gang fight where you throw all your chips in because you can't see a year ahead of you. You've made a life. You've got people to lose, you said so yourself. I know what it's like... the survivor's guilt. You relive that day over and over-"

His words are making you feel sick to your stomach again and you lurch forward, finger in his face, "Don't you fucking preach to me-"

Almost as immediately as you'd raised your finger, Bruce snatches your wrist in his hand, yanking you close enough to be imposing, staring down at you with the same power that the Batman had used. It was so sudden that you quickly fall slack, wrist going limp in his grip.

It had completely sobered you of your tantrum, and for better or for worse, you were forced to listen to him, "Stop feeling sorry for yourself and think. You see this ending with you dead because you want to make up for the shit you did. You think that's what Alex wants? For you to bleed out in an alley like she did?" And just like that, the fire roars in you once more, but your other hand can't slap him across the face before he's caught that one too, "No future? What about all the people you've saved? Could still save? Face it now because you may not get another chance: you're alive. Do you want to be or not?"

You want to hurt him, turn his skin red and give it a place among the other bruises that glitter and glare down his torso, and as your hand shakes in his hold, you are forced to understand that you are angry because he is right.

You'd felt this same anger before. When your parents told you Alex was a bad influence on you. When Russo looked you in the eye and told you that you didn't have it in you to pull the trigger. It was maddening. He had clocked your suicide mission before even you had, had seen you in his mind's eye the way you saw yourself: disarmed, a lamb to the slaughter, a sacrifice for the greater good, a speedbump.

You could see Batman tackling him to the ground over your dying body. You couldn't see yourself getting up the next day.

After the frustration leaves Bruce's eyes, he's looking at you with something softer. You feel known, uncomfortably so, as he waits for you to meet him there.

And when you do, you hate how you collapse into him. Even more, you hate that he takes you up into his arms, holding you steadfast, as understanding as you needed him to be with all your fear of admitting it. The solidness of his body reminds you of the night he'd first held you, and that just makes you cry harder.

It feels different from last time. Where there was armor is now warm skin, the likes of which you hadn't felt in a while. If you had told your past self you'd one day be standing in Batman's cave, hugging Bruce Wayne and crying over the permanence of your mistakes, you might have diagnosed yourself with head trauma.

You screw your eyes shut in a vain attempt to put the tears to rest, your freed hands practically clawing at Bruce's warm back for some purchase, some stability. He doesn't seem to mind. He just holds you closer.

After a few minutes, you force yourself to speak, sniffling away the last remaining tears you'd allow yourself to shed, "You said I wouldn't like it. Your plan. What is it?"

"To disappear."

You wrench yourself back. Bruce is dead serious. "What?"

"I've considered it from all angles-"

"What do you mean, 'disappear'?"

"All but one of the prisoners Dimitri broke out with are still missing. How do we know they're not all working together? How do we know that you luring him out won't draw them out too? You were the easiest target before, not anymore."

"Say what you mean, Bruce. What do you want me to do?"

"I want to hide you here," he winces as he says this, as if aware of his words only now that they're out in the open, "with me."

"You're shitting me."

After a while, Bruce's face hardens, "I told you you wouldn't like it."

Liking it or not liking it was nothing. You'd advanced past "like". You were firmly out of your depth here.

You slip out of Bruce's hold and he lets you, standing rather awkwardly as you rub a hand across your mouth. Despite earlier, it now feels uncomfortably dry. You glance at Bruce and then at his screen, the tab with your name and face plastered all over it hovering in the background. "You want me to disappear off the face of the earth while you track him down. Leave my home, leave the people I care about, abandon my job. You want me to hide."

"I don't know how else to protect you. Not until we figure out what we're up against." Bruce watches you spin away, scoffing into the air, "You noticed it when you fought him off, didn't you? Something was really wrong with him."

You see flashes of Dimitri's feral stare, the way he staggered and swung. He was like a rabid animal in a cage. "Of course there was, he was trying to kill me."

"Beyond that," Bruce insists, "he wasn't right. I've seen it before. He was on something."

"Most people are these days. I wouldn't be surprised if he'd... I don't know, gotten his hands on drops or something-"

"It wasn't drops. Gordon told me."

"The detective?"

"He said they found a syringe with traces of venom in it. Dimitri's shooting up. That's why he was so strong."

Your mouth drops open in disbelief, "Venom? Great. Somehow worse than Drops."

"If he's on that drug, he's definitely addicted. It also means you won't stand a chance against him. This is why I'm telling you to stay here," Bruce steps forward, eyes imploring yours. You're dumbstruck by the heavy earnestness there, "stay in the tower. Hide here for a few days. Let me handle this."

"If he's on venom, it means he doesn't think he can handle you on his own," you wring your hands, flitting through images of the Dimitri you remember, "he was always really small. Even at fourteen, he hadn't really sprung up. He was scrawny and small and couldn't defend himself. Suddenly Gordon's saying he's almost twice the size of what I remember. Have you ever fought someone on venom?"

"Once or twice, somewhere between fixes. Why?"

"General has this kind of... sedative that we use when we get patients dealing with the effects. It's not perfect, but it does help calm them down enough to help them. Maybe we can use it to help him."

"The strain is constantly changing," Bruce watches you deflate and clears his throat, "but if I can get that sedative, I can use it as a base to make a new one."

"You need clearance to get your hands on that stuff. I'm going with you."

"What part of disappear do you not understand?"

"One, I never agreed to do that, and two, if Batman gets caught stealing from a hospital, that'll make you public enemy number one. You need my help, so let me help you."

Bruce is looking away, rolling his bottom lip between his teeth even as you zero in on him. You're getting flashbacks of that same Bruce from when you'd first met him here in this tower. All tender-eyed, even as he tries to put on a face for you, "And I need a drink," you rub your temple next, catching a glimpse of Bruce watching you from his peripheral, "You've got those, don't you?"

It turns out Bruce has plenty. There's a whole cellar full of them, the kinds you see in MTV Cribs with the low recessed lighting and mahogany shelves gleaming with polish. It makes sense for him to have it, but less so when he tells you he doesn't actually drink any of it.

"You weren't drinking at the party, either. Even though everyone else thought you were." You brush your hand along the shelves, careful not to knock any bottles loose. "Is that a trick to keep people spilling secrets? Or to keep from spilling your own?"

Bruce hovers near the entrance with his arms folded and back pressed to the wall, carefully watching you peruse his selection, "Maybe I don't like the taste."

"That's good. Men in Gotham die from alcoholism at a higher rate than any other city in the state."

"Really?"

"Really. You don't smoke either." Bruce blinks at you, "Just get shot at. And stabbed."

He says nothing.

Your hand lands on a red aged older than your mother and you stand to the side, looking expectantly at him. You're afraid that if you try to pick it up, you might knock down the whole row.

Slowly, Bruce pushes himself off the wall and glides over to you, grabbing the neck of the bottle in one hand and looking to you for approval. You try not to shrink yourself when you nod.

You follow him out of the cellar, flinching when the lights dim behind you and the door rolls shut all on its own. He guides you to the kitchen where night still hangs over Gotham outside the window, but the time on the stove clock warns of early morning soon.

Bruce pulls out two glasses and fills yours with wine and his with cranberry juice from the fridge. You could almost laugh at the pairing.

Once he slides your glass to you, you take a seat at the island and take a sip, "I need to ask you something. I get now why you refused me at the station, but then you came back. Why did you change your mind? I mean, neither of us knew Russo would be dead when we got there. Were you just going to let me hate you?"

"Yes." His simple response draws a quick, stifled laugh out of you.

"Are you always this... chaotic?"

Bruce leans his elbows on the countertop, hunching in on himself, "I always meant to tell you who I was. I just didn't know when. And I didn't mind if you hated Bruce Wayne, but... you trusted Batman. I didn't want to break that trust. Even if it meant telling you earlier than I planned, I wanted to give you some closure."

You think about the fear that had paralyzed you back then, thinking that Bruce Wayne was some big, bad criminal hiding behind polite society. Then you think about the real man, hiding behind a mask. You fidget uncomfortably, struggling with feeling somewhere between grateful and nauseous. Your eyes catch the stitches on his shoulder and you itch to wipe away the dried blood that had dribbled from the cut, "You said you were looking for Dimitri when you got that. Did you..."

Bruce catches your eye when you fail to finish your question. "No," he answers solemnly, "which is only part of our problem." He stands to his full height, flexing bruised knuckles against the counter, "I ran into one of the guys that broke out with Dimitri tonight. That's who gave me this. Dimitri isn't working alone."

You frown, "Is he trying to shake you? Why leave clues at all?"

"Because these people want me dead. The guy from tonight? I booked him a year ago for trafficking women. Earlier led me to a fringe group of Falcone's."

"You've been looking for Dimitri all day?"

"I haven't stopped since we found Russo. I couldn't."

You rub your arms, feeling the room grow chiller by the second, "So... so he's leaving clues to people who hate you. To keep you occupied." Bruce nods. "So he can get to me?"

"After last night, he knows the Batman is on your side."

"Dimitri wasn't out when you got on the scene. Do you think maybe he's taking venom because these guys warned him about you?"

Bruce smirks, rolling his eyes as he takes a sip from his glass, "As a precaution, sure. And now he has reason to believe I know you. If he's going to go after you, he's going to shoot up each time."

"That stuff is nasty. You're big and scary when you're on it but as soon as the effects wear off-"

"You deflate like a balloon. It's also stupid expensive, so he's either got real generous prison pals or he's being used. It's why I need to know if he's working with the Vipers. They might be supplying him."

How you'd gone from an ordinary surgeon to a detective in the span of mere weeks was beyond you. You're beyond just treading water. You're diving into the abyss.

Your brain struggles to make real what is before you. Bruce, still shirtless, drinking delicately from a glass as he watches the night sky shimmer from the kitchen window. And you, sitting across from him, cracking open one of his family's expensive bottles that, frankly, puts your pantry vinos to shame. Playing vigilantes like schoolchildren. Except the blood on you both is very real.

Your arm throbs at being remembered for once tonight. Bruce notices you touch it, "You need to get some rest."

You know he's right, and you're not arguing for the sake of arguing when you say, "I can't sleep yet." But he can tell there's more on your mind as he waits silently, almost egging you on to lay yourself bare. You swear you're not arguing just for the sake of arguing, "And I don't want to disappear. I want to be alive."

Bruce says nothing. The silence isn't humiliating like you'd think it be, even if the first few seconds leave you feeling just as laid bare as you thought you would. No. It feels acknowledging. Understanding, even.

For the first time, you look at Bruce and feel like you understand him. If he was really Batman, then he would know better than anyone why you would want to put yourself in danger. But beneath that, with the meager knowledge of who Bruce Wayne is, you also think you understand him too.

He'd mentioned the survivor's guilt. While he'd played a much more innocent role in the whole ordeal, you couldn't imagine the weight on one's chest knowing that two people you love didn't get to go on but you did. It's a lot to ask of a child barely coming to understand the mortality of one's own keepers.

The choice to be alive for someone like that is a deliberate choice. Constantly made every morning.

"There is another way," Bruce muses, "but you'll like it even less."

"Don't leave me hanging."

"We could go public."

"What?"

"You said disappearing would mean abandoning your life. And it would. No one could know where you went, who you were with, but there's always the chance someone might slip up. It's the safest option but it's not what you want. So don't hide." Bruce's eye contact is deep and unwavering. Compared to earlier, he seems to trust you're willing to listen this time, "Be mine."

For the nth time tonight, you are rendered nearly speechless. Nearly. "Are you fucking with me?"

Bruce's eyes narrow, "No."

"Did you just... proposition me?"

"I made a proposal."

"You're asking me to date you."

"Publicly. Batman has more enemies than allies, but Bruce Wayne has the people. If you and I are publicly linked, it tells everyone looking for you that the world is watching. It makes you more visible, as well as anyone who comes after you."

"You haven't slept," you reason, "clearly. And you're delirious."

"I haven't slept, no." But he looks fairly sober for someone who hasn't slept in a day. He is a different breed, this Bruce Wayne.

You peer out the kitchen window and see the black sky dipping into a blue horizon, "Then sleep on it and come up with something better."

Bruce rounds the island until he's standing beside you, looking down at your barely touched wine, "There's some spare rooms upstairs. You can take your pick." It dawns on you that you may not be going back home any time soon. "You know your way around."

You suppose you deserve that dig.

Then he's leaving you, glasses abandoned, home for you to explore. You don't realize how thick the air had gotten with him right next to you until he's gone.

You half-expect Alfred to pop up somewhere nearby, but there's nothing. This far up, there is no city to listen for, no neighbors slamming doors. You are in a cold house all alone. You suddenly wish he'd stayed to keep you company, even if the weight of it was beginning to take its toll on you. Left alone, you only had the sunrise.

You watch until the sky has all but chased the night away, and then you head upstairs.

You didn't think you'd get much sleep in a stranger's bed, but you're being roused by a sharp, successive rapping at your door several hours later. It jolts you awake, kick-starting your heart, and you clumsily tumble out of the million thread count sheets to open the door.

Alfred stands there fully dressed for the day, one hand tucked in his pocket and the other still raised to knock. Upon seeing you, he lowers his fist, "Morning," he starts, looking away as soon as he meets your eyes, "breakfast is ready. Come get it before it's cold."

He does not give you a choice in the matter. He's already limping toward the staircase without another word.

After you get your heart to settle down, you follow after him, preening yourself as you pass hallway mirrors and portraits of the Wayne family through the generations. You hadn't come down this hallway when you'd found the terminus elevator, so you stumble to a stop in front of a portrait of a young Bruce grinning ear to ear.

It startles you. His eyes are soft, a gentle humming blue untouched by wrinkle or darkness. He must've been especially young here. Glancing at a nearby portrait of his parents, you find him the spitting image of his father. You look around and realize there are no portraits of Bruce at this age.

Bruce. He might be at breakfast, and the mere thought of having to discuss what occurred last night almost turns you right back around to the guest room, but your stomach rumbling begs you not to. You still walk quietly, peering around corners in case your stomach changed its mind.

You find you're cautious for naught when the only person standing in the kitchen is Alfred, chopping up fresh fruit.

"I hope you don't mind that I moved your things," he gestures with his paring knife to your surgical tools neatly congregated on the counter, "I cleaned them too."

"Oh. You didn't need to do that."

"There was blood, so I'm afraid I did." Alfred places a bit of pressure on "blood", and you quickly take note of his short tone.

Still, all the same, he then gestures to the island and implores you take a seat in front of an empty plate. Without asking, he begins pushing steaming hot food onto your plate, "Tea or coffee?" He asks, barely looking up at you.

"Uh, coffee is fine. Thanks." You watch Alfred pour you a mug and wonder if the awkwardness with him is any more preferable to the awkwardness with Bruce. Alfred is passive-aggressive, Bruce is... aggressive. You remember how the latter had left off your night together and find yourself feeling warmer toward Alfred. "How long have you been up?"

"Since 6, although I woke a few times through the night."

You wince, "Sorry."

"No need to apologize. I did think Bruce had invited you over under different circumstances, so... not as alarming, all things considered." Your grip on your fork slips and it clatters to the marble. Alfred barely reacts.

"He needed stitches." Is all you can get out.

"Yes, I'm well aware."

You glance up at him, "You saw?"

"When he first arrived home, yes. I was the one who helped stop the bleeding."

You stare at the coffee sweating in your cup, recalling something Bruce had mentioned last night, "Bruce said you were the one who used to stitch him up."

"Yes."

"If you were there, why-"

"It's what he pays you for, isn't it?" Alfred almost snaps back at you, slicing a strawberry into quarters with more edge than needed.

You recall something else next. The softness in Alfred's face the day you first came here, arguing with Bruce in the very room next door. You'd wondered what it had all been about.

"I've done alright, haven't I?"

"He said something else too," you start, careful as you choose your next words, "about how much you worry about him." You fiddle with your mug, pretending not to feel the heat of Alfred's eyes on you, "I think the reason he hired me is because he was worried about you."

You just catch the tail-end of Alfred's frown, "Worried about me? Why?"

You probably aren't close enough to either of these two to laugh about this, but you do anyway, "Isn't it kind of obvious?"

"Nonsense. We always discussed... if it would come to it, that if he were to pursue this life further, that he would recruit professionals who might aid him in his work. It was the natural thing to do."

"Maybe, yeah. But would he have really needed me if you weren't already doing everything else for him? You've taken good care of him this long. I mean, the aftercare you gave his bullet wound was exceptional. I accused him of talking to other doctors."

Alfred busies himself with scraping his strawberry halves into a bowl, "It's basic knowledge. You learn that kind of thing in the service."

"Or when you invited me to watch you two spar. You know his body probably better than he does. You're fantastic, Alfred." You couldn't say you weren't also trying to butter him up to better his feelings toward you, but you were speaking truth all the same.

In a very British way, he rebuts your compliments and spoons some fruit into a glass, beginning to layer some yogurt over top them, "Regardless of reason, you are here now, and I'll have you know that every part of your contract covers this. Wayne Enterprises will exhaust every possible legal tool at our leisure if you speak of any—any—of this to anyone. Master Bruce's identity is safely guarded, and regardless of his trust in you, I will not hesitate-"

"Whoa, whoa, hey. I would never tell anyone. Not after all Batman has done for me." You press a hand over your heart for emphasis, "He is just as much my patient as Bruce Wayne is, and he didn't have to pay me to take care of him."

Alfred still stares you down like a guard dog, paring knife still clutched in his fingers. After a moment, he looks away from you and points at your plate, "Eat. It's getting cold."

So you do. It's good so you say as much, counting any point toward his affection as a good thing. If you could get Alfred to trust you, you'd call that a win.

The tension in the air dissipates over time, and after you've licked your plate clean, you and Alfred are sharing coffee together. "Bruce isn't joining us?"

"I've stopped expecting him to be awake this early." You glance at the clock that reads 10:12. "He has adopted a near-fully nocturnal lifestyle."

"The night that he crawled through my window, he was there at the hospital the next morning like nothing happened. He doesn't do that often?"

"Before last year, it was a rare occurrence. While he's dedicated himself to his role more recently, if he can avoid it, he will."

You think back to what knowledge you do have on Bruce's charity work and his friendship with the Mayor. You'd worked shifts just as long, but you couldn't imagine showing up to work mere hours after getting shot in the stomach and having to put on a brave face about it. You almost feel bad for calling him out on it in front of everyone.

But then again, if you hadn't, would you even be sitting here?

You swirl the last vestiges of coffee in your cup, trying to picture a world in which you'd gone and found that empty office to nap in instead of toddling behind Rudy and Em and Alfred and Batman. The Batman.

The novelty of it brings a fresh wave of dizziness over you. You had been exposed to so much information over the course of the last 12 hours that it hadn't fully settled in on you what Bruce was. You didn't think that your brain would process it even if he was standing in cowl and cape right in front of you.

"I suppose you'll be staying with us for the near future, if Bruce has anything to say about it," Alfred stands from his chair beside you and puts your dishes in the sink, "shall I inform your security detail or would you like to?"

You don't know what to say to that. "I'm... I think I should talk this over with Bruce first. It may not need to come to that."

The butler shrugs. "I'll be attending to some house duties for the rest of the morning. Should you stay for lunch, let Dory know, hm?" You give him a weak nod and watch as he makes his way from the sink and heads down another hallway out of sight.

Not too long after Alfred leaves you, you hear the doorbell ring. Bruce hadn't mentioned to you that any guests would be here today, but then again, the two of you had had more important things to discuss last night. You check your reflection in the glass of the kitchen window, wondering if there were any hidden doors in the bookcases that could hide you from whatever Wayne Enterprises exec that was coming to talk business, but you wouldn't trust yourself not to break something in the process.

You hear two pairs of footsteps approaching from the elevator and turn to see who it might be. You first recognize Dory, fluttering between frantic small talk and making sure not to trip in her kitten heels as she guides her guest into the living room. You stiffen as soon as you see him.

Detective Gordon catches your eyes instantly, his own widening. Dory says something about going to fetch Bruce before she quickly ascends the stairs, leaving you and James staring at each other across the distance. In one hand is a notepad and pencil, and the other fixes his tie, almost as if at a loss for words. He greets you, hesitantly leaving where Dory had left him to approach you, "I saw the boys out front but... I didn't expect to see you here."

"Me neither." You reply. "Is everything okay?"

James glances up at the stairs as he passes underneath, "That depends. I followed up on your request."

Shit. Of course a cop would do their job when you least expect it. You slip out of your chair and rush to meet him halfway into the kitchen, "Did... did you find something?"

"I can't say much right now. I'd like to talk to Mr. Wayne, but-" The sound of Dory's heels clacking against the wooden stairs makes James lower his voice, "-you being here complicates things."

Bruce is wearing a shirt this time, thankfully, though you're not expecting him to look as put together this early after what Alfred had said. He towers behind Dory's much smaller frame in a pair of loose black pants and a matching turtleneck, looking in a fashionable state of undress as he pads barefoot into the room. With hair slicked back and stubble freshly shaved, he doesn't look like someone caught unaware. He's fixing the sleeve of his sweater when he extends a hand to Detective Gordon, bright smile and all, "Detective James Gordon, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Mr. Wayne, I'm sorry for dropping in unannounced. If this is a bad time, I can come back." James gestures to you.

Bruce's look at you is empty, devoid of any detectable emotion or thought. It strikes you as unsettling, the same way a cashier at the end of their shift isn't really looking at you, "Oh, no. I was just on my way to work when I felt unwell. I called my doctor over but it was nothing to worry about. A little stomach bug, is all."

You do look like you'd just come over in a rush. You're still in your lounge clothes from the night before, and your medical supplies are still in the kitchen where Alfred had left them. James seems to notice, but he doesn't look any more relaxed. "That's good to hear. I don't want to keep you too long, but truth is, I have some questions I'd like to ask you if you have the time."

"Is something wrong?" James glances between you and Bruce, something the latter doesn't miss, "is it sensitive?"

"It's about the party you threw here the other night, Mr. Wayne. For Mayor Reál. I hear you invited quite a few Gotham politicians to celebrate the passing of the mayor's new bill, correct?"

"That's correct."

"And I understand you're quite invested in Gotham politics in general, much like your father."

"I am. My mother and father were very interested in the city, and Mayor Reál breathed new life into that for me after the election. I do what I can to support the cause."

"And that cause is...?"

Bruce takes the skeptical tone on the chin, smiling wider, "A safer, fairer Gotham. For everyone."

This Bruce was nothing like the Bruce you had all to yourself. He taps into that persona from the party with ease. Watching him is like watching a performance. "That's good, good. I notice you try to make an effort with charities in the city, donations and the like. You recently donated a new wing to Gotham General."

"I did. Increasing access to medical care for the citizens is important to me. My doctor, a talented surgeon at General, knows this well." You flash a timid smile when both Bruce and James look to you.

"And you also financially support politicians in Gotham."

"Occasionally. Anyone I feel has Gotham's best interests in mind."

"And have you found members of Gotham's political parties to be unusually forward in requesting your support, Mr. Wayne? Perhaps a little too pushy, maybe."

Bruce wears confusion well, "Not necessarily. I'm not easily pressured into doing things I have no interest in."

"Of course. How about any attempts to win over your support? Publicly or otherwise."

"I'm not sure what you're asking, detective. I'd love to help, but I don't think I have the information you're looking for."

James nods, holding his chin high, "My apologies. I should've been clear from the beginning. My question is: have any politicians or members of law enforcement offered you anything in exchange for your financial or public support? I have reason to believe there may be someone with high clearance exchanging confidential information with civilians. Especially ones who can pay. I'm just looking for a lead."

James frames his question well, even though any fat cat familiar with the cops could see the hidden question. Bruce frowns, tilts his head, shaking it slowly, "That's awful. I don't currently know of anyone doing such a thing, to me or anyone else. But I can keep an eye out. I can only imagine how dangerous that might be."

"Exactly. We'd like to nip it in the bud as soon as possible."

"Of course. Do you have a card? Perhaps I can contact you if I hear anything."

James fishes out his card and hands it over, "I don't want to put you in a bad position, only pass along what you know if you feel safe enough to do so."

You notice Bruce is flicking the business card between his fingers as a fidget, though he keeps his attention respectfully on the detective. "Absolutely. Thank you, detective. Dory can show you to the door."

The detective nods and follows Dory out of the room. As soon as the two are out of earshot, Bruce's expression softens as he presses his back into the counter. You wish you could sink into the floor. "To be fair," you begin, "I didn't think he'd find anything."

Bruce side-eyes you, "That was you?"

"I thought my criminal boss was going to blackmail me to keep his secrets."

"Criminal boss." You think he's trying to mock you, but his eyes are surprisingly guilty when he looks at you, "Alfred wasn't kidding. I really didn't handle this well."

"No, not really." You don't mean to kick him while he's down, but you can't lie either. Even now, you were still making meaning out of this whole thing.

By all means, you've gone from knowing nothing about him, to understanding even less, to fearing him, to this. With Batman on the other hand, you'd felt nothing but loyalty and trust in him up until the very last second. Now they were both the same person, and the meager hours of sleep you'd gotten hadn't cleared all that up just yet.

You wonder who you're supposed to see now. Batman or Bruce Wayne? Why was the line separating them blurring the more you thought of them?

"So, did you ever come up with a better idea?"

Bruce does not offer one. You'd dreaded that.

"You already know what I think. No matter how we go about this, there's going to be something. So what do you want to do?" Bruce's eyes follow your ever minute expression, laser-focused on you. "Whatever you choose, I will keep you safe. I promise you."

He feels so staunchly Batman in this moment, even with the soft voice of Bruce, watching over you. Through all your uncertainty, this you believe him on.

And you're exhausted, you find. Your arm is beginning to throb again. You crave the reprieve of a bed but not your own, to your surprise.

"I'm going to trust you, Bruce," your voice wobbles as you say it out loud, "I'm going to trust you like I trust Batman."

Bruce holds eye contact with you for a few moments, "Okay."

"Can I ask... why are you dressed so nice?"

"We're going to get the sedative."

"You're going as Bruce?"

"It's the middle of the day. Yes, I'm going as Bruce. I'm not letting you out of my sight."

You fluster, suddenly reconsidering this entire plan. You'd pictured Batman skulking on the rooftop while you Mission Impossible'd your way into the medicine cabinets for what you needed. Walking in with him—the real him—would draw attention you didn't need, "You're only going to make me look suspicious."

"I'm your patient, and more importantly, I'm a donor."

"You will stick out like a sore thumb."

"That means when people are looking at me, they're not looking at you." You open your mouth to argue but he's already cutting you off, "Do you want me to drop you off at your place or do you want me to send someone to get your things?"

You're aware of what he's really asking.

You heave a sigh, "Drop me off. I can't promise Judith won't hurt someone if she finds a stranger in my house."

a/n: mj stop having the reader move in with bruce when their life is put in imminent danger challenge impossible

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 10 months

Text

Just One Look

Series Masterlist

Warnings: dark elements but nothing too graphic in this one.

Please leave me some feedback either in a reblog or an ask! Likes are always appreciated as well. You know I love yall and hell yeah, you love Professor Steve.

You sit against the wall, perched in a nest of textbooks, notes, and your laptop. Jensen's small bed has become HQ for your operation; cramming for final exams until your head splits.

You flutter back and forth, jotting down notes, scrolling through articles on the screen, furrowing your brow until your head hurts. You're encased in your fastidious fit as the door opens, barely breaking through the shell of your focus. It isn't until Jensen says your name that you manage to tear yourself away.

"Hey," you smile at him as the smell of caramel fills the room, two tall cups in a cardboard tray in his hand, "what's all this?"

"I told you. Recharge time," he grins, "and a few extra goodies."

He wiggles free one cup and hands it over, then takes one of the paper bags and sets in beside your laptop.

"Ugh, I'm gonna be so fat," you bemoan, not really bothered by the extra sugar.

"Me too," he sits on the edge of the bed, "so, how's it going? Are you an expert yet?"

"Shut up," you stick your tongue out, "you and your photographic memory."

"Hey, the lord blessed me in many ways," he winks before he takes a sip of his coffee.

"Oh my god, you're a dweeb."

"Well, I was talking about you," he smirks, "but also yes, there is a lot of Jensen to go around."

"Right," you roll your eyes and giggle, "stop trying to distract me."

"I'm not distracting you, I'm teasing you. The difference is that while you're sitting there trying to focus on English Lit or whatever dead guy you're reading about, you're fighting not to think about what's in my jeans--"

You grab your copy of Wuthering Heights and throw it at him. He deflects it as he stands, cackling as you feel your cheeks burning. He barely keeps from dribbling coffee down himself as he strikes a pose.

"So shirt on or off."

"Really! I don't have time for this, Jen."

"Ah, come on, we both know you're gonna ace this shit," he flexes his chest, giving it a look as he watches his tee strain, "and I mean... I'm into the whole bookworm thing you got going on right now."

"Stop!" You shout.

"Alright, alright," he relents, showing a palm as he takes another gulp, "I'll wait... I've waited this long."

"I'm sorry, Jake," you sit back and peel away the plastic tab on the lid, "I'm not meaning to... make you wait. It's just I've been so busy and tired and stressed and--"

"I'm not complaining. Waiting makes the heart grow fonder. That's Dickens, right?"

"I think it's a proverb but I don't know," you shrug, "still, it's not that I don't want to... do stuff it's... I'm... nervous."

He looks down and arches a brow, "heh, me too. I know I talk a big game but, yeah."

"Let's just let it happen whenever it does... oh, did I mention, I'm staying on campus for the holiday. Trip home is too expensive."

"Really? That's great."

"Great?" You wonder.

"Yeah, I didn't feel much like seeing my dad, anyway. He just likes to ask me why I didn't get a football scholarship. And the divorce is a bit intense."

"You don't have to stay for me--"

"Nah, really, you're giving me a solid excuse," he pulls up the rolling chair from his desk and sits, "and I mean, I can't think of a better way to enjoy my time off."

"Uh, yeah, awesome," you smile, pushing your shoulders up bashfully, "well, if I even make it through exams."

📖

Your nerves swirl in your stomach. It's not just your usual pre-exam jitters, but the prospect of seeing Steve --Professor Rogers, after your last encounter. You keep your chin tucked down as you join the queue waiting outside the exam room, hugging your purse strap as you sway back and forth.

Rogers appears down the hall, greeting students by name, as he struts down to unlock the room and props the door open. You wait until a few others part from the wall to join the building wave of bodies shuffling inside. As you pass the professor, he sniffs, almost a tut, as if to deride you in particular.

You leave your bag along the front and find a seat along one of the curved rows. The professor waits for the clock to run out as he hands out the examinations, row by row, then starts the usual explanation of the rules, time limit, et cetera. You fidget in your seat, passing down the stack of papers for the next person to take one. You just want this to be done with.

As Professor Rogers calls for you to begin, you put your head down and flip the front page. You're ready. Your confidence in the material isn't undercut by the controversy. You won't let it.

Your hand hurts with the tightness of your endless scrawl. Short answer, then the big essay. The hall is silent and thick with the tension of students sighing and yawning over their finals.

You stop to think about your final argument and lift your head without thinking. You scrunch your brow and nose as you try to untangle the words in your head and your eyes meet Rogers'. You're shaken by the intensity of his stare. He doesn't move, he doesn't look away, his attention bores into you and has you cowering over the paper.

Fuck. He's definitely still upset. Well, so are you. He screwed you out of an income. You just hope you hear back from the tea shop about your resume. It's your last hope outside of commuting to the nearest McDonalds to sling burgers.

You shake it off, or try to. You finish the last portion of the essay but don't get up right away. You don't want to be the first to leave. You also don't want to walk up to Rogers alone.

So you wait, pretending to read over your booklet until you send a shadow rise from down the next row. You watch patiently. The first inspires a second and you get up, sidling down to the aisle to follow the trickle of students. You approach Rogers and hold out your booklet. He stares at it a moment before he takes it and flips to the first page, reading the first question.

He finally looks up as you start to back away, "good luck."

His words hang in the air and you flinch. The stone in his eyes crushes you. There's something in them, a promise, a threat. You back up and turn, fighting to stay calm as you reclaim your bag from against the wall.

At least it's over.

#steve rogers #dark steve rogers #dark!steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #drabble #series #au #professor au #professor!steve #one #marvel #mcu #captain america

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siconetribal · 2 years

Text

Put It On My Tab: Chapter 1

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!reader

Tag: @vbecker10 (I promise I'll write Marvel something soon!)

Warning: General/vague mention of harassment

Summary:

Everyone deserves time off, and the vigilantes of Gotham are no exception to the rule. The boys decide to take a weekend to let loose. Who knew a few drinks would lead to a stranger in bed?

Author Note:

I had zero intention of writing this little piece. I was set to write something else entirely…and yet this is where my hands led me with the keyboard. I really hope you like it, I'm debating if I should make other parts do this. Please let me know!

PLEASE READ WARNING ALWAYS.

The bright sunlight was blaring and loud as it pierced through his eyelids. The steady pounding of the kick drum with the bass cranked up to max followed the rude awakening. What did he ever do to the giant burning ball of gas to punish him? There’s no way the series of poor choices from last night that included, but was not limited to; the pitchers of liquor he imbibed with his friends and brothers was the reason behind this torture.

The fuck did I do to you, asshole? A great first night of vacation obviously includes drinking until you’re speaking in colors. Jason Todd squeezed his eyes shut, covering them with a hand to try to block out more of the offending element that assaulted his senses. “Damn, maybe I shouldn’t have that last stein.” He croaked in a deep and gravelly voice. Leaving it be, he turned away from the window and swung his arm across the king bed. His eyes flung open, and his body instantly sat up as his trained reflexes kicked in through the pain.

“Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my room?” He winced at the sound of his own voice that loudly echoed like a megaphone held to his ear. The other person jerked up at the sound of his voice, the messy mop of hair obscuring their face until they pushed it away to reveal two sleepy and confused eyes. Jason glared at the stranger beside him as he tried to make sense of the situation. Ending up in bed with an attractive young woman was nothing foreign, it was the lack of recollection of bringing a woman to his room that set his vigilance on high alert. Blinking, she looked left and right a few times as she forced herself to sit up in bed.

“Woah there, you shouldn’t move around so much and try to keep your voice down. I’m surprised you’re coherent enough to move so quickly.” The stranger reached out and helped steady his swaying body, much to his embarrassment. “Also, this isn’t your room.”

What does she mean by this isn’t my room? There were two things that were clear in this haze of confusion, One, he had no idea who she was. Two, he had no idea where he was. “Easy, big guy,” he muttered under his breath in hopes to dampen the rave that was currently in full swing in his skull. When he felt some semblance of peace, he tried again in a more modulated tone. “Who are you and why am I here?”

“I’m the girl you saved from some overly hands-y old pervert last night. As for why, you wouldn’t tell me where you’re staying, so I brought you here.” She scratched at her head and rubbed her eyes in hopes to quicken the waking up process. It seemed to be working well enough for her. He envied her lack of pain.

Here, here is where? He tried to focus on the conversation but also avoid triggering anymore of his headache. She obviously knows where this is and is comfortable enough to be in bed. Did she bring me, someone she met for the first time last night, to her house?! “Are you trying to get yourself killed? You brought a some random drunk off his ass, total stranger, home with you?!” He instantly regretted shouting. The party was still going strong at the rave in his head, featuring DJ migraine.

“Will you stop shouting and jumping to conclusions?” She glared at the former caped crusader, firmly pressing her hand over his mouth. “You were insisting on walking me home to keep any other unwanted attention away. I didn’t bring you to my house, I brought you to a nearby hotel and checked into a room for the night. I’m not an idiot.”

“So you stayed in the same room as the rando drunk stranger who demanded you take him home?” He scowled, jerking his head back. Something else he instantly regretted as a sharp pain lanced through his brain. She felt bad for him as he winced in pain, but not enough to ignore the current lecture she was getting from him for being nice.

“I said I’m not an idiot, not some rich princess. I'm not gonna book two rooms and trust that you won't run up the room service bill or extend the stay. Do I look like I belong to the Wayne family? If that were the case, I wouldn’t have to deal with seedy perverts like that guy last night.” She rolled her eyes, running a hand through her messy hair. “Besides, if you tried pulling anything with me, I would’ve left you on the road to fend for yourself.” The way she stated it so matter-of-factly made the corner of Jason’s lip twitch upwards as he swallowed a scoff. She clearly had no idea who she was speaking to.

Then again, I was plastered, he clenched his jaw and gripped the comforter that was pooled around his thighs. Anger and humiliation tumbled around inside him like an off centered washing machine. How had he let himself get so wasted? How did he even get so drunk? He was not some superhuman like Bizarro or Superman, but he was not some ordinary human either. He survived being tortured at the hands of Joker and the Lazarus Pit. Actually, since the pit, it’s been harder to get drunk like this. Now’s not the time to think about that! Start assessing the situation! He forced his mind to shift gears and began to take in the details of his surroundings. The room was spotless, spacious, and well furnished with a desk, a lounge chair, flat screen TV, and a window with a view unobstructed by buildings.

The sheets are pretty nice too. This isn’t some cheap motel, she’s going to have a pretty big bill for a last minute night. He frowned at this fact. The next thing he noticed was his companion. She was over the covers while he was under, she was fully clothed while he was shirtless. Judging from the crumpled and wrinkled state of her outfit, it was clear she slept in them. The only thing she was not wearing was her shoes. All of these details only confused him further. If we didn’t have sex, what the hell happened last night? “Ok, so I insisted on escorting you home, and you brought me to a hotel. You didn't trust me to not run the bill, so you stayed the night. Why are we both on the bed?”

“Are you always this demanding, wonder boy?” She rolled her eyes as the interrogation continued, noticing his left eye twitch at her nickname. On the other side, he was not amused at how close it was to a former title of his from his younger years. “Do you treat all the ladies you meet like this, or am I just special?” She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. Tilting her head to one side as she eyed the handsome young man who was looking less and less attractive by the second with all the questions. “What, don't like being in the hot seat?” She batted her lashes.

“Just answer the question.” His lips pursed to the left as he leveled a glared on her.

Not so fun anymore, huh? “Alright, alright, don't get your tighty-whities in a twist! I helped you get to the bed and tried to make some arrangements on the floor, but you insisted I stay on the bed as well and wouldn't let me go until I agreed. Before I even argued, you passed out, and I was stuck being your human body pillow. I'm surprised I wasn't flattened like a pancake.” She grumbled.

“I'm not that heavy.” The infamous Red Hood carefully and stubbornly tried to get his mind to work through the pain and haze. It all seemed so far-fetched, but the gears began to turn, and the memories trickled in. The guys and I were out commemorating our first night of vacation. Some ass was causing trouble and was making a scene. That's right, he was harassing her and I cut in. Took the drink he tried forcing on her, and he got all pissy. He suggested a drinking contest and I said yes. He lightly nodded his head as the pieces slowly began to fall into place, proving her narrative to be true. “You know, you're pretty mouthy to the guy who saved you from a douchebag.” He leaned on towards her, eyes narrowed.

“And you're pretty judge-y to the girl who carried you to somewhere safe and paid for the night.” She leaned towards him in kind, challenging him by not backing away.

“I'm not that heavy,” he rolled his eyes at her choice to pick at his weight.

“Jupiter is lighter than you.” She replied in that same matter-of-fact tone she had been using most of this conversation. The very same that irked him just enough to negate how cute he found it. Or did he find that even more endearing?

“Don't act like you didn't like it.” He scoffed, fighting the corners of his lips that tugged upwards.

“I said you're heavy, not unattractive.” She countered him yet again, unfazed and ready to continue.

“So you like what you see.” A smug smirk easily won against his attempts to remain neutral or peeved.

“I'm rude, not blind.” She scoffed without missing a beat.

“Damn, you really don't quit.” He chuckled, leaning back onto his hands.

“You're finally catching on, wonder boy.” She laughed, climbing off the bed to stretch. His eye twitched again, a small victory for her. “All this banter aside, you sound like you're doing better now. Guess you’re the type that can just sleep it off. Do you need to rest more? Maybe get in touch with one of your buddies to let them know you're alive?” She tugged and pressed on her clothing, hoping to miraculously remove some wrinkles. As expected, there was no such luck.

“One last question,” he crossed his legs and leaned forward on to his thighs.

“Shocker,” she took in a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Are you a journalist or do you just love the game 50-questions?”

“I said last one,” he repeated as his lips curled downwards into a frown.

Yeah, likely story, crossing her arms she shifted her weight on to her left leg. Jason noticed how it made her hip push outwards just enough to be noticeable. “One last question. It’s fifteen bucks for every one after.”

“Fifteen per question, that’s highway robbery!”

“You should consider yourself lucky since I’m not asking you to pay for the little rapid fire moments ago. So, you gonna ask, or what?”

“Damn, do you treat all your heroes like this?” He muttered under his breath. She raised an eyebrow, and he instantly knew she heard him. “That wasn’t my question! I was just thinking aloud.” He quickly clarified. She squinted as she debated her next decision. She gave him a silent nod and waited once more for his question. “Why am I shirtless?”

“Hell if I know, maybe you’re a sleep stripper?” She shrugged her shoulders.

“A what?” She’s insane, she has to be!

“Someone who strips while asleep, like how sleepwalkers walk in their sleep. It’s the only thing that makes sense.”

“How does that make any sense?”

“You fell asleep with your shirt on but you’re now shirtless. I was over the covers and you’re under them, there’s no way for me to take it off you, so it had to be you.”

“Do I look like someone who does weird shit like that?” She took the time to carefully look over the handsome and topless young man, appreciative of the view.

“Well, you’re certainly not off to a good start. You demanded some random young woman to take you to her house, forced her to be your human pillow, and interrogated her like this was all some ploy and you’re the victim.” She listed the three main points on her fingers, wiggling the digits as his eyebrows knit together again, creasing the skin between them. He looks kinda cute with this face all scrunched up like that, but it’s nearly checkout time and I’ve got work in a couple of hours. All good things must come to an end. She stood from the bed once more and made her way towards the door.

“Hey, where are you going?” He watched as she picked up one of her shoes and slipped on to her foot. She’s leaving, good. She should, it’s better she’s home sooner. This was the way it should be, and yet he had this churning feeling in his stomach that he was losing something. He hated losing.

“My real home,” she casually answered as she slipped on her other shoe.

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

“How will I know you’re going to get home safe?”

“You won’t, you’ll just have to believe I do.” She flashed him a cheeky grin from over her shoulder. “And with that, you’re at a grand total of $90.”

“Ninety, how?!” He sat up, mouth hung open as she placed a hand on the doorknob.

“Make that a hundred and five.”

“A hundred and five, what are yo-,” he slapped a hand over his mouth. She watched as realization dawned in his bright blue eyes.

“Nice catch, I’ll be nice with that one,” she winked. “Well, this was fun. We should do it again sometime. You can even pay me back. But until then, see you around, Wonder Boy.” She gave him a wink and vanished behind the door, laughing as his eye twitched.

Yeah, not happening if you don’t tell me how to contact you! Like I’d even do that anyway, charging me so much for a few questions. He grumbled, scratching his head and rubbing his face. He should be feeling relaxed now that she was gone, but instead the room just felt dull and empty. Shaking his head, he forced himself on to his feet and grabbed his phone from his jacket that was neatly hung on the chair. Such a busy body, why would you take care of some drunk off his ass stranger who’s tossing his shit around without a care? He glared at the worn leather before looking over the flood of unread messages before replying that he was fine and would be back at their hotel in a bit. Things would now go back to normal.

#jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x reader #jason todd #red hood #fanfic #fanfiction #jason todd fic #y/n #y/n reader #batman fanfiction

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xisco-lozdob · 4 months

Text

What do we know of Dark Gallifrey?

So, yesterday Big finish finally announced a new range titled Dark Gallifrey. The initial reveal left me underwhelmed because it didn't look as Gallifrey-oriented as I'd at first thought, but some of the comments the creators have posted afterwards are making me warm up to the idea.

So, first of all, it's going to be "a brand-new series showcasing the most chaotic, mischievous and evil Time Lords the planet has ever produced" and it consists of 8 different trilogies, each focusing on one these dark children of Gallifrey. The fact that three of those were given to three different incarnations of the Master who all already have their own ranges gave me pause, but it could be alright if the themes and focus is distinct enough.

However, the Monk and the Nun and, more importantly, Morbius (the incarnation played by Samuel West from the 8DAs 16 years ago) also have their own trilogies. Morbius' one is actually the opening act of the series, though we don't know exactly when it's set. But Morbius is always a great character to delve into Gallifreyan lore.

First thing I want to point out is that they chose to use the same Gallifrey logo as the Gallifrey series, so at the very least they think it should be branded the same way. So we don't only have a link through the title choice but also the same visual identity.

Now, even if John Dorney, writer and script editor for the Morbius trilogy, said this:

It’s completely disconnected from regular Gallifrey.

It doesn't have to mean it's disconnected from Gallifrey the planet, and its history, which, for me, is the most important part, just that it's disconnected from the main cast of the series: Romana, Leela, Narvin and Braxiatel.

So let's see what the other creatives are saying. Rob Valentine, who serves as producer for the series, had this to say:

Dark Gallifrey is a sprawling, multi-story event in which all the most dastardly Time Lords are being let out of the box in various unexpected ways. [...] ...and, behind it all, something massive is brewing.

That means there's some overarching theme or threat in the shadows, probably to be resolved in the last trilogy. What I think is that, more likely than not, it's not going to be a big crossover kind of deal. Maybe some characters and even a couple of the trilogy protagonists are going to be there, but, from what is know, I surmise that we'll be looking at a... Rassilon? trilogy which ties together things that have been set up during the others, but we won't know they have been until we have all the pieces. Let me explain.

Firstly, and something which I really like the sound of, from the Big Finish Talk Back panel at Gally1, they want to do more experimental stories and Dark Gallifrey is part of that.

Dorney, again, said that these are:

Writer led concept albums full of bold creativity. [...] these are not your standard stories.

Whereas Scott Handcock, director and script editor for the War Master trilogy, teased that there are "baffling surprises" and that he doesn't know how his trilogy pieces together with the other ones.

I do like that this range seems to be based on allowing the creators freedom to tell the story they want to tell, so they can experiment with the storylelling and the format. Valentine also says there are all sorts of stories, from darker ones to some that are more comic. But, while Handcock seems to confirm he wasn't privy to all the plans for the range, I read that as implying he did know there was something that linked the trilogies together, but that due to his involvement being with just this trilogy in particular, he didn't need to know every detail.

Still, one last piece of information from Dorney, tells me it's particularly not necessary for the individual creators to know how it all pieces together (if the producers did a good job in keeping tabs):

Just to repeat what I said on the panel this series is influenced by things like Alan Ayckbourn’s Norman Conquests, the old Transformers comic strip Aspects of Evil and Chris Ware’s magnificent Building Stories. [...] it inspired the entire series.

All of these have one particularity in common: they're stories that build a bigger tapestry if put together, with multiple layers of storytelling. But they still work as your basic anthology.

But why do I think it'll all come together with a Rassilon story? Well, for that let's go to writer Tim Foley's blogpost with some visual clues. All the pictures are really interesting, but two in particular piqued my interest. (Btw, Foley seems to have worked at least on the Morbius trilogy with Dorney.)

The first illustration comes from the DWM story The Tides of Time. This story features Rassilon (actually his first appearance in any medium) and the Matrix, as well as the Higher Evolutionaries, a group of ancient and powerful time-aware beings. Basically, they're to Gallifrey's Temporal Powers what Division sorta is to the CIA.

The other image is a rendition by Daryl Joyce of Ancient Gallifrey, from the Lungbarrow ebook. You all know what kinds of implications this has. I really hope we take a long overdue trip to other episodes in Gallifrey's History. This is what I'm expecting (hoping) from this series and, in a way, the Fugitive Doctor's one.

Will we have references and nods to other stories that built on the mythology and history of Gallifrey (and not just those two, Morbius being a main character has the potential to link with some more obscure things)? I don't know but I hope so.

I think that's all the information we have. I don't even really know what I want to say with this post, just wanted to collect all this somewhere, and I guess speculate a bit there at the end.

I really hope this series ends up being as special as it promises.

#doctor who #big finish #big finish gallifrey #dark gallifrey #rassilon #lungbarrow #ancient gallifrey #the master #the monk #morbius #long post

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sadnightforus · 9 months

Text

RINGING YOUR LINE (CTY)

ex-turned-bf!taeyang x gn!reader

SYNOPSIS: The breakup was almost a year ago, but he still can’t forget you. It’s very much expressed through the song he produces and posted out of impulse, secretly hoping that you’ll listen to it.

WORD COUNT: 3K.

WARNINGS: hinting that the reader is a cold person (even though they’re not), one cuss word. In the song, the artist uses the she/her pronouns but the reader’s gender is never specified. Not much tbh but it can be a bit emotionally draining. Mentioning Shota as the MVP friend (thx q 💪🏻).

INSPIRED BY: LESSON (โค้ชลงเล่น) BY YUNGTARR.

A/N: well…. I’m not so proud of writing these short stories instead of working on the ones for my series but my brain is not working. Also I deeply apologize if the translated lyrics are not correct. I use google translate for it.

reblogs, comments and likes are appreciated!

In the dimming room of a small studio room, there sits Taeyang, whose headphone is glued to his ears while his eyes cannot tear itself away from a folder that has only one song in there.

He is hesitating, rather more anxious than anything combined as he clicks on google, then looks at the opening tab, displaying his YouTube channel with over 360K subscribers on the site of YouTube studio.

He knows it’ll be a bad idea, a terrible idea even. His mind screams at him to not do it, but the need of expressing his honest feelings is eating him up.

Normally, when his friends ask him how he has been doing, he’ll simply answer with the usual ‘I’m fine.’ but he knows he’s far from being okay. The breakup with you has been hard, even though it was a mutual agreement that you guys are better off not being partners and parted ways on neutral terms that is. Everyday since then, he feels like he doesn’t want to live anymore because he regrets that decision so much.

He should’ve stopped you.

Just like how he should’ve stopped himself from uploading the new song onto the YouTube channel where you can obviously see that. Heck, he thinks you’d think he’s weird for still being unable to get over you.

But too late for that as the new video ‘THEO - Ringin’ Ur Line (Official Audio)’ being posted and he just sighs in defeat, realizing that he makes such a fool of himself with the way he didn’t think of making the video unlisted or even private before it uploads onto the account.

And at the same time, you’re mindlessly scrolling through some apps when you see a notification from the channel called ‘THEO’ uploading a new song pops up on the screen. As much as you pretend not to care, you click onto it, ready to get your heartbroken, knowing that he most likely will never mention or even talk about you in his songs.

Who would get over someone who makes music and especially a catchy one anyway?

But what surprises you is the fact that he makes the song and sings with his own voice in this one, mainly because he’s a music producer. Although his appearance screams very ‘celebrity-like’ due to how good looking he is, he claims that he just wants to lead a normal life with no pressure that comes between his personal life and professional life. He chooses to work behind the spotlight and produces some of the greatest hits for well-known names in the industry. Never once does he put his own personal works out like this.

So what changes?

You sit up to hear the lyrics and observe the song more carefully.

และสุดท้ายรักมันคืออะไร baby เธอตอบฉัน

And finally, what is love? Baby, you answer me.

You scoff at the thought of him having someone new he might be possibly singing about. Clearly, he wouldn’t really sing about you, would he?

บทเรียนสุดท้ายและครั้งที่สองเธอไม่พลาดพลั้ง

The last and second lesson, she didn't fail.

You wonder what he could possibly refer to. What does he mean with this exactly? Love lesson that gives him the kind of pain that is unforgettable?

It’s your cue to go because it’s not even about you.

You feel pathetic for ever assuming that it was about you, the person he sang about. You feel foolish and you’re mad at yourself for that. The cold wind doesn’t help much with warming your body either.

Somehow, you continue to listen because of the charming lyrics and melodies.

เธอตั้งใจทำอย่างนั้น

She did that on purpose.

เธอตั้งใจให้ผมเจ็บ

She intended to hurt me.

You wonder which girl really hurt him and how she managed to do so. Deep down, you wish to have the same effect that whoever did to him in this song.

You sigh as you continue listening.

baby เธอเองก็รู้ว่าใจดวงนี้มันสามารถซ้ำ

baby, you know that this heart can repeat itself.

เธอหยุดได้มั้ย baby ถือว่าผมขอร้อง

Can you stop, baby? Consider that I'm begging you.

Taeyang looks at the time on his phone and realizes something, he’ll forever sit alone and let you slip away from his life for good if he didn’t do something tonight.

He needs you in his life. He needs your love. He doesn’t want to continue to imagine the way you could only say those ‘i love you's' that his brain could only replay of the way you said it so much in the past that it deeply engraved in his mind like a clockwork.

He doesn’t want his heart trembling at the way you look so beautiful in the well kept polaroid of you two in his wallet anymore. He is done with torturing and lying to himself.

Grabbing his car keys, he impatiently waits for the engine to start working and looks around for the blind spots to make sure that the parking spot is empty before driving away.

pretend ว่าตัวผม strong

Pretend that I'm strong

ในสิ่งที่ทุกๆวันขณะในใจผมเจ็บขนาดนั้น

For something that every day in my heart hurts that much

He stops at a flower shop, owned by one of his good friends, Shota. Shota has a talent in rearranging flowers, although he wouldn’t need to utter a word for the customers to roll in because he’s adorable. Taeyang remembers that his first flower ever given to you was from Shota’s flower shop and now that he wants to reconcile you both, he figures that he should do that too.

He pants, upon the hurried travel to his friend’s store. Shota eyes him blankly, but continues to say nothing, waiting for the other person to speak first.

“I need a flower that says forever love. Not roses, obviously.”

“Was that for Y/N?” He questions, although he already knows the answer.

“How do you know that?”

“You can pretend that you’re fine and be strong for our sake, although you’re not really. You still think of them.”

Was the pain so obvious that even Shota, who normally just doesn’t comment and not caring about things most of the time can see?

He really realizes that you’re his better half.

And as for you, you find yourself relating to the lyrics he sings in this song. You truly dislike how reflective it is to your state of mind because you’ve been pretending you’re strong and you’re not hurting everyday.

Both of yours and his heart are aching for one another, wanting to belong as one again.

แค่เห็นที่ต้องเจ็บซ้ำ

Just seeing it hurts again.

เป็นเธอไม่มีสายใยแม้ไม่มีเธอเองก็ไม่ต่างกัน

It's you, there's no connection, even without you, it's no different.

There’s something you can never admit to your friend or anybody else. You’re ashamed to still confess out loud that you’re thinking of your ex boyfriend and that you read both of your text messages with each other.

You can’t understand it. Why can’t you get him out of your mind if he’s not exactly the most ideal man there is?

You sigh, it’s truly unpleasant to be having these late night thoughts where it betrays what you stand for.

Similarly to Taeyang, who also does look at the text messages you both shared, but with a different thought.

He used to take you for granted, but with you gone, he realizes that he had a gem but he was too blind by his own insecurities.

And if there’s no you, then nothing will make sense to him anymore.

“Hyung, your flower is ready.” Shota places the flower on the table, in front of where Taeyang keeps zoning out. The producer grabs the flower, amazed that the younger florist chooses pink asters, knowing that it represents eternal love, innocence and devotion for a person you deeply care about. He then stands up, slams the 10$ and 20$ on the table and screams out before exiting the shop.

“I know you’re gonna charge me 25$ but just accept 30$. Keep the change.”

Shota just shakes his head, sighing before going back to work.

I think about everyday, baby we used to talk.

Now you run away.

But baby I'm still walk.

Driving as fast as he can, he makes it his mission to place his vehicle in a place he knows it all too well. Nighttime has never looked more unexpected and almost scary to him because he can’t predict what is going to happen next. He can only hope that the music he mistakenly and might be posted under the influence of his idiocy conveys what he truly feels about the seperation.

Just only a month and 19 more days until it’ll be marked since a year you both break up. But yet in those days before it approaches, you occupy his thoughts every day and night.

Frankly, you’re the first and last thing he thinks of every single day.

He’s thanking the universe that he didn’t just crash and die right here with the way he’s speeding to you.

คิดถึงแต่โทรหาไม่ได้

I miss you but can't call.

อยากจะเรียกเธอมาช่วยเชียร์แต่ว่ามันทำไม่ได้

I want to call her to cheer me up but I can't.

Whenever he’s having a hard time, he wants to call you. But he can’t.

Whenever he’s happy, he can’t also call you.

And whenever he thinks of you, he can’t do that because you guys are not together anymore.

He wants to hear your voice, soothing his worries or cracking some jokes and laughing out so delightfully.

This trip to your house might be the last time he’ll get to see you. Or his wants will finally be granted.

Baby เธอตั้งใจ broke heart

Baby, you accidentally broke my heart.

You’re supposed to hate him, with the way he sings in this song. This line, a particular line, just like he said, it accidentally breaks your heart into pieces too.

You’re gritting your teeth in anger, were you never that important to him?

Had he never loved you enough that his heart could possibly break at the thought of you, of this too?

Were you the only one feeling this way?

You feel really start to resent him. God, what a fucking scumbag.

The love has never been reciprocated, so why can’t you let the thought of him completely slip out of your mind?

ย้ายความเจ็บปวดเข้าไปที่ broke heart

Move the pain into a broken heart

It’s only around 10 minutes, if without speeding up, until he’ll be at your door, making a fool of himself, without knowing if you still want him back. He doesn’t know if you’re seeing someone new. Because if you do, that flower in the passenger seat that he is meaning to give it to you will be left to rot, as a proof of his undying love.

He doesn’t think that he can ever move past the pain of not having you if the rejection comes through.

I'm still ทิ้งลงถังมันไม่ได้ baby

I'm still can't throw it in the bin, baby.

ทำลงไม่ได้ baby

Can't do it, baby.

Standing in front of the trash bin, you’re facing the most difficult of your life; whether to throw or not to throw every polaroid of you both together.

The song keeps playing, you’re holding 6 polaroids of you and him, which are taken on his birthday. There was a whip cream on his nose that he didn’t bother to wipe before taking the photos because he wanted to look cute and have fun, which you let him. It’s one of the fondest memories, out of every celebration you both had done together and you’re about to throw it away.

But your hand freezes, gripping onto those small pieces of pictures a bit too tightly.

And what happens if you throw it away? Would it only exist in your memories now with no physical evidence? Is that what you’re looking for?

And would you be happy to only have events that exist in your heart now?

What good would it do if you do anyway? You’d still continue to see the ghost of him everywhere you turn.

You can’t throw it away, you really can’t.

มันตัดใจไม่ได้ baby

I can't get over it, baby.

He can’t get over your smile, your voice, your personality, humor or you.

He almost feels sorry for himself that he acts like this, let alone letting you know how he feels.

It’s what he thinks as his car has come to a stop, safely parking itself in an open space era. He then opens the car door, holding the flower bouquet to his chest before closing it and locking the car door.

Something in your mind tells you to stop standing still and keep the polaroids hidden away if you’re not gonna throw it, burn it or even destroy it.

So you listen to your guts as you gently tuck your upper lips, anxious and confused on why did you back out on it last minute.

You know the answer way too well to that question. But you didn’t want to accept it.

เพราะผมรักจะตาย baby

Because I love you to death, baby.

“Ding!”

Your doorbell rings, startles you out of your trance when you’re so busy putting the polaroids back into a hidden box.

You’re confused on who would come to your door this late at night. It’s almost midnight, just only roughly 19 minutes to be exact as you look at the time displayed on the digital clock.

A gut feeling tells you that you might need to open the door as it’ll reveal the answer to everything you’ve been hoping for.

You’ll regret it if you don’t.

Most importantly, you’re hoping it’s him who is behind that door, ringing your doorbell, asking you to be back in his life. But you shake your head at the ridiculousness before you stand up, taking slow steps to get to the door. Your palm grips tightly onto that doorknob, not knowing if you want to do so.

และสุดท้ายรักมันคืออะไร baby เธอตอบฉัน

And finally, what is love? Baby, you answer me.

Is the last phrase you hear before your phone dies. You sigh as you twist the doorknob and you’re met with the man you thought you’d never get to meet again.

Choi Taeyang standing in front of you. With a bouquet of pink asters in his hands.

He wears a white sweater for tonight, a casual look but it makes him look almost breathtaking because he is simply the most beautiful guy you’ve ever known. He looks anxious, not knowing what to say at first as he hands you the asters and you gladly accept it.

“Did you hear my new song?”

The question catches you off guard. Because what game does he want to play now?

“I do.” You nod, face lack of any expression, opposite to the male in front of you who looks unsure and almost on the verge of tears. You can sense the anxiousness radiating off him but you choose not to ask about it.

“Well- what do you think about it?” He looks at you, hoping you’d respond to it differently than you do now, because it’ll kill him if you continue to be standoffish like that.

“It’s nice.”

“The song… it’s about you.” He confesses, observing the way your eyebrows quirk in confusion and the gleam in your eyes that plead him to almost repeat whatever he just said.

“Ever since we broke up, it’s never been easy on me. I want to call you so bad but I know you wouldn’t pick up those calls. Every day that I live, the memories of us haunt me so bad, it’s like you intended to hurt me and to make sure that I’ll never get over you. It’s lame that I can’t move on and I’m still in love with you. And now, here, making a fool of myself, asking you to be mine again.”

You stare at him, a bit dumbfounded and losing yourself in the moment that all of this happens in real time and it’s not your imagination anymore. You let each of the phrases that escape his lips sink into your mind and process itself into your brain as you can only admire him, no words being exchanged.

Taeyang is scared, preparing for your rejection already as you go absolutely silent. He could die right now, if not for the fact that he hasn’t heard the final word that determines whether he’ll continue to live in misery or start a new chapter with absolute happiness.

“Y/N, please say something. If you’re gonna reject me, please do it fast!”

“Idiot, I never stopped loving you.” Your face breaks into the biggest grin he has ever seen and every tension and worry just completely escapes from his body.

He takes a step forward to hug you, losing himself in your embrace. He misses your love, your warmth. His home, his livelihood all just connects back to you as he feels like the happiest man in the world.

“Thank god because I thought I’ll live with regret for my entire life.” He mumbles, feeling so content by the physical contact for the first time in months. You try to gently peel yourself off from him, he pouts at you sadly, pleading to be in your embrace for a little longer but before allowing that to continue happening, you scold him.

“Get off of me! What kind of house owner would I be if I let my guest stand outside for this long.”

He smiles, showing off the adorable eye smile that you love so much.

“Is that your way of inviting me inside?”

He teases you back, taking off his shoes as he observes you and every corner of your living space, happy to have you back in his life again.

“Oh shut up before I kick you out.” You give him a stern stare, with your now boyfriend trailing behind you to chill in the living room. He only grins at you teasingly before responding back.

“Fine.”

COPYRIGHTED BY SADNIGHTFORUS, 2023

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riddle-me-ri · 1 year

Text

Well, the time has come, whoop. Way sooner than I expected it too!

Ri's 500 Follower Event

I've been mulling over different ideas/prompts for this event and its no doubt been inspired by many other events I've seen done in the past. I hope I don't copy too many but its bound to happen, especially if the prompt is *chef's kiss*

This is my first event so I'm not going to go super crazy and try not to overwhelm myself but I definitely also wanna make it special!

Below the read more tab are three different options AND rules for a drawing you guys can enter!

First and foremost these events options are open to all the characters I write for that are listed here, but if you need a refresher;

- General Riddler and Arkhamverse, BTAS, Gotham, Dano/Reevesverse, Telltale, Young Justice, Zero Year, Twojar, Gotham City Sirens, and DCAU Hush Riddler

- General Penguin and Arkhamverse, Farrell/Reevesverse, BTAS, TNBA, One Bad Day, Telltale, The Batman (2004), and Batman Unlimited Penguin

- General Mad Hatter and Arkhamverse, Gotham, BTAS, TNBA, Secret Six, Joker's Asylum, and Harley Quinn Animated Series (HQTAS) Mad Hatter

- General Scarecrow and Arkhamverse, Murphy/Nolanverse, BTAS, TNBA, Fear State, Year One, Masters of Fear, and Happy Halloween, Scooby-Doo Scarecrow

1. 500 Word Drabble Prompts

Choose a prompt and I will write a 500-ish word drabble around it. Some of these can be fluffy or NSFW just lemme know which you prefer or I will just go with which comes naturally lol

Breakfast in Bed

Sharing a Bath/Shower

First Date Night

Arkham Visit

2. Headcanons

How they would react to you being kidnapped

How they would react to you wearing their clothes

How they would react to you confessing your feelings

How they would react to you breaking up with them

3. Love Letters

Give me a character and describe your envisioned relationship with f/o and I'll write a letter to you from that character.

Be sure to tell me any nicknames, how you guys met, and your relationship status (i.e. is he admitting his feelings, is he missing you while away in arkham, etc). and/or if you want him to be helping and comforting you during a rough time.

The more descriptive the better!

FINALLY, one last thing, sorry I know this is getting long but I'm really excited for this part!

I really wanna try and give back in any way that I can, so I decided that I wanted to do a name draw!

Submit a request from THIS post with one of these options (either with your username or an anon nickname, like "dormy anon" "timid anon", etc that way it's easier to separate you all lol)

If your name is drawn you'll get the option of:

A 2k fanfic from me

A drawing of one of the Rogues or your DC OC (if you have one) by me

This event will be running from May 19th - June 2nd. All 500 requests will be answered before normal requests, and if you didn't get a chance to participate feel free to submit as a normal request!

That is all I've got for now. I know not incredibly unique or different but again, kinda wanna start off with something familiar since this is my first ever event type thingy!

Thank you guys so much again for 500 followers, I'm still absolutely floored from that fact every day and I hope this shows even a fraction of my appreciation!

Oh and if you don't wanna see any of the 500 Event stuff you can filter out the tag "ri 500"

#ri writes #ri 500 #ri 500 event list #thank you guys so much again!

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fallenstarzz · 5 months

Note

📚and✍️ for the fanfic questions!

📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend?

Oh. Several.

I love all of @dayurno's fics, the patron saint of Kevin Day POVs. This is also the place where I admit to not having finished the name of the game yet despite it being one of the fics that convinced me to come back into the fandom, because something about it made me sad and I take. Absurdly long to finish things that make me sad. I also cleaned the 388 open tabs I had on my phone and forgot where exactly I had stopped. But Im going back there!!!! Someday. Also dayurno is so sweet and their blog is just a very fun place to hang out in.

@knickknacksandallthat A Falling Star series was literally the joy of my life the latter half of 2023 and knowing there was going to be a new chapter every friday helped me through some of the harshest weeks in college (and there were. A lot of them). I have reread the last chapter of Darkest Before Dawn many many many times because it is rare that miscommunication angst hits THAT good.

sunset, like survival by @jaywalkers is one of my favorite fics, ever, let alone in this fandom. Baltimore is my favorite part of the trilogy because of the emotional punch it packs and the way this fic takes that and turns it aaaaaall the way up in all three of the POVs is nothing short of masterful. It even makes me like the ending of that arc a little bit. Also the author just finished their other kandreil multichapter fic and it's the first thing on my reading list for my Carnaval break from work because you bet I'm gonna use all the time I can get to savour it.

I have the absolute privilege of betaing @queer-lovebot's fic Good to Go (Going Nowhere Fast) and it's just. So good. It's a WIP and there's two chapters out as of today and I think everyone in the entire world should read it maybe. Go check it out while it's still fresh so you can brag to your friends that you were here first!!!!!! (This is only a slight exaggeration. Fame is a construct but you should read it NOW anyway. Live dangerously go read a WIP).

Edit because I almost forgot: Have you heard the word of our lord and savior The Later Parade? I thought I liked Kevjean before I read this. I was wrong. This fic unlocked potentials of kevjean-loving within me only comparable to an anime villain revealing their final form. Like my bookmark on ao3 says, "this is the greatest thing I have ever read. goodbye".

✍️ What's your ideal writing set up?

At home, on my notebook in my desk, ceiling fan ON, with the biggest cup of passionfruit juice I can find, and wathever ambient noise my brain likes most at the time on repeat. (It can very from any song to rain sounds to those playlists of classical music. I once wrote 50k words to the repeated playlist of Brian David Gilbert's AAAAAAAAAH!BBA. Good times.)

#anon #asks

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burntheedges · 2 months

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first of all, when can i pick you up and treat you to a lovely meal and we celebrate these VERY WELL DESERVED AND LUCKY 600 FOLLOWERS??

❓question

okay so this is a two parter:

how do you come up with your ideas for these genuinely fun community engagements? the fandom bingo, the words behind the friend gift exchange (the passing notes series), the FIC TRACKER OMG i feel like a little hobbit sometimes with my face up against the door and peaking out through the mail slot as i shove my dirty smut fics through the hole. i wanna run in the sun with you! how can I be a better fandom friend?

You do so much for everyone here, but what do you like to do? Who is your favorite Pedro boy to write for and/or read about?

Kate i am so happy to know you and i am so SO excited for you about this milestone! 🤍🤍🤍

Taylor!! 🧡 thank you!! 😭 I am so happy to know you, too. 💕 and thank you for these fun questions 👀

1. how do you come up with your ideas for these genuinely fun community engagements?

ok first of all I think you are an amazing fandom friend. you're so encouraging to other writers! I felt really welcomed by you from the beginning. and your fics are amazing. 🧡

second, I'm really glad people think they're fun. that's like the best part, probably.

so you mentioned bingo and the notes and the fic tracker. lol so the last one was just me being a data nerd and wanting to know how many words of fanfic I read. like, people always post at the end of the year about how many books they read but I never knew how much fanfic I read (other than it was a lot). and then people liked it so I just made a blank version of the spreadsheet available. part of it is to reblog more fic but I got that idea from @katareyoudrilling's year of asks and how much fun it is when we engage with each other on here.

for bingo, I think that's me being a teacher. 😂 let me give the fandom ~an activity~ lol (it's like something I would do in class to make people talk to each other). and it seemed like a good way to get people to interact more? I also love making things in Canva, it satisfies my art/crafty itch.

for the notes, I am a sucker for a gift exchange. like, I can very easily over commit myself and I'm trying not to be that way about writing, so it stays fun and not like a chore. but as soon as I saw the challenge I could feel myself getting carried away -- I just tried to limit the length of what I wrote. part of it is that they gave us so much lead time so my brain could just be like "wait here's another idea" and then we ended up with 12. I'm making myself be more chill right now in exchange (which is why we're voting on one fic for this celebration instead of me writing more).

but if you meant inspiration for the notes, some of them came to me easily, but some I pondered more. generally they were based on conversations I'd had with each person.

I guess overall I'm just trying to be a more interactive fan? this is the first time in a loooong time that I'm like an active participant in a fandom and it's been really fun. so my hope would be that everyone can have fun.

2. what do you like to do? Who is your favorite Pedro boy to write for and/or read about?

I've noticed that as I write more I have less time to read (of course) which I'm still balancing. I've been reading fic for like... forever. decades. so I do try to keep reading, because obviously I enjoy it. there are a bunch on my tbr (aka open tabs on my phone) and I'm trying to catch up. I should have more time because work is slowing down soon.

current favorite to write about: Joel (lol is it obvious) with Din as a growing close second, but Frankie, too (I had a new Joel idea last night and I need it to chill out because I have some challenges to work on)

current favorite to read about: I'll always read a Joel or Din fic, but I've been enjoying Marcus Moreno? and Dieter

🧡

followers celebration

#bte600 #writing #fandom games #fanfic #followers celebration #joel miller

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staringdownabarrel · 2 months

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I've just seen the new episode of Discovery, Face of the Strange. Full thoughts under the keep reading tab.

This episode is a pretty good representation of what I was hoping the Burnham-Rayner would look this season. Here, they're locking horns because while their preferred command styles are very different, they're also very similar people--both stubborn, very sure of their beliefs, dedicated to their ship and to the mission, etc. Basically, Rayner has become Burnham's foil.

This was a good development. I was a little bit worried with last week's episode that they were going to try to force Rayner to be Tilly's foil, or even just to have a more developed dynamic with her than he did with Burnham. This is better because I think this is where the focus should be.

The biggest issue with this episode is that it drew attention to just how little character development a large chunk of the command crew his gotten. Usually I'm not too hard on Discovery about this point because every Star Trek show has had this issue to varying extents, and the writing staff has always been very open about the fact that this is primarily meant to be the Michael Burnham show.

Still, it is also true that this has been a much more pronounced issue with this show than it has been with basically any Trek show with the exceptions of the original series and Enterprise. Generally the trend has been that Burnham, Saru, Stamets, Culber, and Tilly have gotten the bulk of the development and then Detmer, Owosekun, Rhys, and Linus are basically just there.

Overall I think Discovery does a better job at covering this than a lot of other Trek shows because it has a very large ensemble cast and a lot of characters that are there for a season or two and then gone. Still, it has traditionally been bad at developing its command crew, and most of the B cast's development has been vaguely implied development rather than actual development.

This would be fine if these guys ever got scenes, but for the most part these characters have gotten maybe a few scenes dedicated to them here and there every second or third season and that's it. It's not just a case of it being something you have to put your phone down to notice; it really is just a very loosely implied arc deep, deep in the background that's very rarely commented on.

Usually I don't get too deep into this contention with Discovery because for the most part, I take the view that it's fine that this show is primarily the Michael Burnham show and it's not like the show doesn't have a large cast outside of this. Still, I feel this is one of the episodes that draws unnecessary attention to this angle and I sorta wonder if it won't end up being a bit of a contentious episode in some circles because of that.

For the most part though, I think this was a reasonably well done time travel/time loop episode. Yeah, it did draw attention to that one ongoing issue with Discovery, but people had already been drawing attention to that aspect for years now anyway. While this episode didn't move this season's A plot along as much as it could have, it did do a lot for the Burnham/Rayner arc. Plus, I feel like it avoided a lot of the "Does this episode really need to be here?" issues that Magic to Make the Sanest Go Mad had.

#star trek #star trek discovery #star trek dsc #discovery #dsc #rant #face of the strange #spoilers

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enbyboiwonder · 5 months

Note

any combo of these for the fic writers ask? ❤️👻🏷👓😎💛💌 (also, hope you're doing well!)

I think I’m doing probably so-so (though I was doing better before this disgrace of a website reloaded the tab when I was 95% finished answering this and I had to restart from scratch—I am salty). I dunno how long it’ll last, especially since it’s not simply a periodic downswing, but oh well. I think playing Neverwinter Nights (and fantasizing about if not always writing Hero/Tomi fic) might be helping though, or at any rate, it ain’t hurting.

Send me fanfic author questions!

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

The reason it took me so long to answer this—at least, before this sorry excuse of a website decided to delete everything I’d written because apparently autosaving to drafts is a thing for every type of post except ask responses—was that I had to go back and reread all (well, almost all; some of them I’d rather like to pretend don’t exist and either A. I’m still undecided on whether to orphan or not, or B. I can’t orphan them because they’re part of a series) the fics on my account. Is it weird that my fics don’t really stick in my head that long? Even when I don’t all but block them out. Anyway, it might be…

He feels safe—god, he feels like home.

from Don’t Tell Me Where the Road Ends (MacGyver 2016, macdalton). It’s not anything fancy or eloquent or anything, but idk, I still like it.

Or maybe…

He watches with poorly concealed amusement as Chika seems to work his way through all five stages of grief and back in the span of about two seconds.

from The Shape of Soup (2.43, yunichika)

(Yeah, I had difficulty choosing, so the rest—and the rest of the questions—will be going under the cut for length vvv)

Or even…

Somewhere along the way, his admiration has turned from jealousy to want—from wanting to be him to just wanting him.

the line that birthed not to remain as just a wish (2.43, odaoki)

Or possibly, since I feel like I should have one that is imagery-type/more poetic/(would it be conceited to call it eloquent?)…

His whole body is alight with the fizz of cider close beneath the surface of his skin, overflowed from the cavity of his chest to spill down his limbs and climb up his throat, pooling and sparking in all the places that Mao touched him like senkou hanabi, like miniature fireworks all their own, the brightest of all where Mao's fingers are still tangled with his, and it's wonderful and overwhelming at once.

from candy-apple red (Girls Blue, kisaragi/mao)

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

I don’t think I have any tbh? My headcanons all tend to be more the run-of-the-mill type and/or generally accepted fanon and/or stuff extrapolated from them being clearly ADHD and/or autistic. They’re small things, like Yuni liking spicy foods but being unable to handle sour stuff while Chika loves both, or Nao liking space but not particularly caring for sci-fi, even sci-fi that’s set in space. In fact, both of those I came up with while writing the fics they show up in lmao (Lemon Squash and 流星群, respectively. Though, technically, Chika liking lemons—with the sort-of implication that Yuni doesn’t—showed up in The Shape of Soup, but that was just lemons.)

🏷️ Is there a tag you like to search for when looking for fanfics to read?

I don’t think I’ve ever gone into a content tag outside of when I was trying to see how to do something while attempting to write smut. It’s never really worked out. Even when I think I’ve figured something out, it all flew out of my head as soon as I opened my own fic. At least I prefer writing non-smutty fics, or this would be a much bigger problem than it is lmao

No, usually what I’ll do is just go into a ship (or character) tag and filter out any tag I come across that I don’t want to read.

👓 What helps you focus when you write?

Music, though that’s also just a general thing. Typically I’ll just listen to whatever I’m already listening to (which for the past few years has mostly been the 2.43 OST), but if I’ve got a specific song or set of songs in mind for a fic, I’ll generally listen to that instead. Sometimes when I’m rewriting a canon scene or writing something that includes one, I’ll just leave the show playing in the background once I’m done with it. (That’s actually how one of my 2.43 rewatches happened lmao, though I guess it only half counts.)

Of course, sometimes my brain will focus on that instead…

Yeah, I haven’t figured out how to reliably hack my ADHD. Mostly I just hope I’ll slip into hyperfocus (and then hope I’ll manage to finish it while I am, but that only very, very rarely happens. Normally I’ll come out of my daze to find I’ve added like 1600 words and I’ve got no idea how to write the missing bits).

😎 What fics do you prefer on a scale of canon compliant to wildly original?

It depends on my mood tbh. Also how much I hate canon (though it can make for some delicious angst, depending on why I hate it). But most of my fics end up being canon compliant, or at least not canon uncompliant, so I guess when it comes to writing, it would be that? Though I do also accumulate my fair share of AUs (but then, most of those are Canon AUs of one sort or another…)

💛 What is the most impactful lesson you’ve learned about writing?

I’m not so sure I’ve learned anything, and certainly not anything impactful, except that I have zero idea how to describe emotions. That, and it’s obnoxious af when people use epithets for the POV character. I can’t believe I used to do that. It makes me what to crawl into a hole and die in shame. Like, what someone/something is referred to in the narrative is how your POV character thinks of them! Your MC can’t be “the other man”—he’s the man! Everyone else is “the other” in reference to him! (That’s probably also why I’ve gravitated more consistently toward referring to the POV character by their given name, though I’ll still use surnames sometimes—and not just when we never learned their given name.)

💌 Is there a favorite trope you like to write?

I tend to prefer writing Pre-Relationship/Feelings Realization/Getting Together/First Kiss stuff over Established Relationship stuff, but I’m not so sure any of those are tropes. Wait, what does count as a trope. Cuz I also love Fluff (particularly the sappy stuff—I’ve had several turn out way sappier than originally intended) and Angst and Hurt/Comfort about equally, but I feel like those are closer to genres than tropes…

Hmm, well, I do love Character x Their Significant Annoyance (A finds B annoying/frustrating/exasperating/baffling/etc. but is still inexplicably fond of them anyway), and I feel like a lot of the fics I’ve written are for pairings with that dynamic, so let’s just go with that, shall we?

I’m also a sucker for tropes in the Fake Dating to Real Dating/Didn’t Realize They Were Dating/Practice Kissing area, though I haven’t finished very many of those, and I also love Crossdressing (particularly sticking unfeminine men in women’s clothing and/or guys just casually wearing women’s clothes), but I haven’t finished any of those, either. Granted, some of those involve smut, which could explain it, but it’s not like all of them do. Half or less.

Plus there’s The Italicized Oh, and I love sticking those sorts of moments into my pre-relationship fics, even if there is no actual italicized “oh.” Just—the yearning. I’m an absolute sucker.

#answered #thx for the ask!#ebw.op

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solitaryandwandering · 1 year

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Tag 9 people you want to get to know better.

Thank you so much for tagging me again in one of these @waitmyturtles, they're so fun to do!!

Three Ships

Suffering from some recency bias and don't really think in terms of "ships" anymore so I turned to my CHEMISTRY list on MDL to help... agonized over my choices and finally picked:

TinnGun/GunTinn (My School President) - they're just too wonderful. So sweet, and it's great to see a show embrace embarrassing teen crush behavior in a gay kid without making it weird. Tinn's BL-trope filled daydreams had me in stitches. Almost chose PatPran but that's too easy, I have to honor their successors!

Seo Joon x Ji Woo (To My Star) - love them so much. Relate way too much to Ji Woo and them together? So heartwarming. Despite some of the contrivance of their typical Kdrama split in season 2 I still love the way they reconcile and work their shit out.

Hira x Kiyoi (Utsukushii Kare/My Beautiful Man) - talk about recency bias, I'm currently watching season 2 and couldn't resist putting them here. They're just SO well-written. Accurate portrayal of the long-term effects of C-PTSD and the messiness of miscommunication sans lazy writing? Sign me up!!

First Ship

Romione (Harry Potter series) - I know, I know, don't @ me but I still have a soft spot for them despite everything

Last Song

Woof Woof (Live Version) - SHINee

Last Movie

Shake! Otis at Monterey (1987; dir. D.A. Pennebaker)

Currently Reading

Nothing much, honestly. Beginning of the year was HECTIC but hopefully March will give me some time to read. The fanfiction I have open in a tab on my phone is "honey, let me show you where your heart is" by sarahyyy. Cute Guardian one-shot!

Currently Watching

Guardian

Utsukushii Kare (Season 2)

I Promised You the Moon (finally on Viki so I'll be starting this soon!)

Moonlight Chicken - I decided to wait until this was over to watch to preserve my mental health. Despite my love/respect for Aof's work I am very very wary when any show or film either exclusively or in part centers around a story which heavily involves disability. In some ways this apprehension is similar to my aversion to sad endings in LGBTQ+ stories (unless it's earned!). Been burned WAY too much fictionally and IRL. 2023 seemingly is the year Aof decided to make shows about my two most central disabilities, deafness and blindness (Last Twilight even tackles someone LOSING their sight, seriously, Aof? What do you have against me?). Heart's story looks like it's being done responsibly/well (or well enough, considering this is the first of its kind in the genre, maybe Thailand as a whole?) so I am excited to jump into it soon!!

On that note, I plan on writing along with each episode my thoughts on Heart's storyline vis-à-vis Deaf representation. Commentary on his arc has been surprisingly decent especially amongst the people I follow (I knew I chose well) but the tendency to overly pity or infantilize him along with a general misunderstanding of Deafness made me realize I don't think I'll be able to keep my mouth shut when I watch, so. Keep an eye out for that if you're interested. Thai Sign Language was developed in part from ASL (ergo, part of the same language family) so I'm also planning to dive into what I've learned about the language and its similarities! :)

Currently Consuming

Leftover Thai food my best friend foisted on me, I forget what it's called but it's some kind of thick rice noodle dish. Very good!!

Currently Craving

Motivation, sleep, an end to the anxiety which has been plaguing me since the beginning of the year, better glasses. Ice cream sounds good too.

TAGS! No pressure!

I have no idea who to tag, so just flying by the seat of my pants here: @squeakygeeky, @absolutebl, @shesarealphony, @lesbianlovestay, @cinematicnomad, @i-just-wanted-hyphens, @bulkhummus, @anonyma13, @stillqueerstillhere

#it's me #moonlight chicken #tag game

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nebulathunderwave · 7 months

Text

Nine people you'd like to get to know better

Tagged by @takonxmz (thank you!! ✨)

Three ships: XiYao (MDZS), GueiMei (Promare), CinnaPhos (HNK)

First ship ever: probably Cornelia and Caleb from W.I.T.CH, but the first ship as in "unwell about them on the Internet and loud about it" was Uranus and Neptune from Sailor Moon!

Last song: Lay All Your Love On Me by ABBA. Yes. Uh. I can explain!!

Last film: The Boy and The Heron (I am still VERY CONFUSED about the parrots)

Currently reading: (now this is the part where you throw rocks at me) MDZS vol 3. Also a lovely series of XiYao fics, and at least 10 I left in my open tabs 😭 But I need the perfect moment to pick up!!

Currently consuming: in terms of media consumption, we're rewatching MDZS donghua season 3 and I'm being very brave and normal about it. In terms of food consumption, I am currently digesting quiche with vegetarian meat substitute, and apple purée.

Currently craving: a sudden spark of motivation for drawing :')

Tagging: @thread-and-needles @crithir and I think that's all because I don't follow a lot of people here and it seems that most of them have been tagged already?

#tag games #nebulathundertalks

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kippykasey · 2 years

Text

Walk Away - Chapter 3: Polly Pocket Explosion

Pairing: N/A

Series Summary: After living in the shadows of her older brothers Alexandra Walker decides to walk away from what everything people expect of her and chase after the dream of working at Stark Industries. She wasn’t expecting everything that would follow after being hired.

Chapter Warnings: n/a

Word Count: 3027

Author’s Note: I feel like this chapter is a bit rough. Maybe too jumpy? Its more of a bit of a filler and background. The real fun begins with the next chapter.

Disclaimer: All gifs used were found using the tumblr gif tab. I do not own anything unless stated otherwise.

Walk Away Masterlist | Masterlist

Entering Pepper and Tony’s house without the usual greeting from Jarvis instantly was a red flag. Pepper was on a short trip for work and asked for me to check in on Tony in her absence. Heading down the staircase to Tony’s in home workspace I wasn’t quite ready for what I saw. Laying on the floor with a pile of what appeared to be Ironman suit pieces scattered around him with nothing but the helmet on groaning was Tony Stark. I entered through the clear glass door and walked over to him, looking down at the grown man.

“As always, sir, a great pleasure watching you work.” Jarvis’ voice spoke out in the room followed by my own. “Whatever happened, blame it on Dum-E.” I clicked my tongue in amusement as Tony rolled to his side groaning.

Tony removed his mask and pushed himself up off the ground. “I guess 72 hours is a long time between siestas.” Tony comments in a hushed whisper, probably thinking it and not realizing he even said it out loud. I assume it was a fact that Jarvis earlier pointed out to him because Tony himself hardly remembered how long it was between bodily functions these days.

“Anthony!” I scolded using the same tone my mother used when punishing my brothers.

“Ah, Polly Pocket, what do I owe this visit to?” Tony pulled the rest of the helmet off looking over at me like he had been caught doing something illegal. I rolled my eyes, raising my arm to show him the takeout bags in my hand. “Happy is still out of town with Pepper so I thought we could have dinner together. After all, you probably haven’t had anything but coffee today.”

Tony nodded his head before the two of us made our way upstairs. Tony left an instruction for one of the robots to clean up his mess as he left. We took the food into the living room where Tony flicked on the tv the last channel that was on was the news, probably from before Pepper left. Tony stuffed a few bites into his mouth before he stopped eating, eyes stuck on the broadcast. The Mandarin had hijacked the American airwaves to broadcast a message to the public. The news was talking about it on every channel that Tony had quickly flipped through. His breathing was getting heavy so I stepped in snatching the remote away and turning the electronic off.

I quickly started up a conversation about the uses of his arc reactors, the best part about being so close with Tony is I got the inside scoop that guaranteed an A for most if not all of my assignments regarding Stark Industries and their engineering involvement. Tony also enjoyed talking about his inventions, even if he pretended to hate all my questions.

Later as I waited for my ride I looked over at Tony who was standing with me by the door. “Call Rhodes. See if he can give you the inside scoop on that, “I gestured to the tv. “ It might help. And get some sleep Tony.” Tony rolled his eyes at me as he ruffled my hair. “Yeah, get home safely Barbie.” He pulled the door open and gently pushed me out of the house but I knew he would stand in the open doorway until I was in the car.

☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰

“Where’s your badge? You have to have a visible employee ID badge.” Happy asked as he approached me at the front of the building where we were waiting for Pepper. I rolled my eyes and opened my sweater enough to unclip my badge from my blouse and move it to my sweater where it could be more visible, dramatically moving my hand around the now visible badge.

“Ey! Don’t be smart with me, kid. It’s my job.” Happy pointed his finger at me before his attention changed direction to focus on Pepper who had now appeared.

Happy began to talk to Pepper about the robots that Tony had in the basement and how beneficial they would be to have at Stark Industries, instead of people. I rubbed my temple as I smiled at one of the secretaries bringing over a clipboard with papers for Pepper to sign then hand me a copy for our records.

“So you’re suggesting that I replace the entire janitorial staff with robots?” Pep was clearly unamused by the thought. “Dum-E can’t even move without knocking over things.” I muttered, getting a small glance from the strawberry blonde out of the corner of her eye.

“What I’m saying is that the human element of human resources is our biggest point of vulnerability.” Happy then moved then moved to Bambie as Pepper looked at him dumbfounded. “The power has gone to his head.” I told her as she gave the faintest nod before moving towards the man.

“Happy, I am thrilled to have you as head of security, okay? It’s a perfect position for you.” Pepper spoke in a very professional tone.

“Thank you.”

“However since you’ve taken the post we have had a rise in staff complaints of 300%.”

Happy’s proud face didn’t falter as he glanced from Pepper to me. “That’s not a compliment.” I tried to tell him gently. “That is a compliment. Clearly somebody’s trying to hide something.” I sigh, turning my head down to check my tablet, seeing a new notification.

“Oh! Ms. Potts, your four o’clock should be here.” I informed her having both of the older two look at me.

“Thank you, Alexa.”

“Did you clear this 4:00 with me?”

Happy, we’ll talk about this later, but right now I have to go deal with this very annoying thing. You are definitely joining me.” She looked over at me and I could almost see the plea in Pepper’s eyes.

“How so?”

We walked to the glass door of the conference room as Pepper whispered her response. “I used to work with him and he used to ask me out all the time, and it was awkward.”

Happy held the door open for us as he muttered how he didn’t like that. Pepper turned her attention to the man in a gray pressed suit with black button up and dark colored tie. He gave me creep vibes but I could tell he had gone through some kind of ugly duckling phase to get to where he was now standing, confidently in front of us with his eyes focused on one person only, Pepper.

“Pepper.” His greeting was simple.

“Killian?” Pepper herself seemed taken back by his appearance.

The man nodded his head. “You look great. You look really great.”

“God, you look great.” This man had gotten Pepper Pots to stumble over her words, something I never saw her do not even when Tony surprised her with lunch and flowers. I shared a private glance with Happy behind Pepper’s back and it was if we were on the same level of unease. “What on earth have you been doing?”

Killian shrugs as he saunters over. “Nothing fancy. Just five years in the hands of physical therapists. “Please, call me Aldrich.”

“Uh, you were supposed to be issued a security badge.” Happy mentions not noticing the man wearing one of the badges. Pepper turned to him, “Happy, it’s okay. We’re good. In fact I think I can manage this one on my own.”

“Are you sure?” I questioned just to be certain. “Yes. Stand down.” Pepper looks at both of us with smiles.

“We’ll be right here.” Happy says before we both step outside of the room.

Happy and I took a seat on the gray couch right outside of the conference room where we could watch everything happening inside. While he looks across the hall at some shifty looking guy reading a magazine pointing for a badge I used the tablet to work on some of my homework. Happy was still obviously looking at the man which by curious nature I would, subtly glance over to when I wasn’t glancing up at the odd holographic brain in the meeting room.

A quiet ringing came from Happy’s tablet, it was still pretty humorous watching as he fumbled to use it. He finally answered the call and I grinned hearing Tony on the other end. “Is this forehead of security?” I hid my giggle as best as I could with a hand. “What?”

“You know, look..”

“I got a real job. What do you want?” Happy questions as he looks over at the conference room.

“I’m working. Is that Polly I hear?” Tony responds.

“Hi Tony.” I say followed by Happy, “I’ve got something going on here.”

“What, harassing interns?” Happy lowered the tablet and I was able to lean over and wave at Tony now.

Happy gently pushed me away with a hand on my forehead. “Let me tell you something. Do you know what happened when I told peopleI was Iron Man’s bodyguard? They would laugh in my face.” Tony and I both let out an amused chuckle. “I had to leave while I still had a shred of dignity. Now I got a real job. I’m watching Pepper.”

“What’s going on? Fill me in.”

“Really, Tony?” I sighed.

“Yeah.”

“All right. So, she’s meeting up with this scientist.” Happy begins to explain and I cut in with a comment. “He gives me creep vibes.” Happy ignores me and continues. “Rich guy. Handsome.”

“Right.”

“I couldn’t make his face, at first. You know how good I am with faces.”

“Oh yeah, you;re the best.” I honestly couldn’t tell if Tony was being serious or sarcastic in that response.

“Yeah. So I run his credentials. I make him. Aldrich Killian. We actually met the guy back in.. where were we in 99? The science conference?”

“Um.. Switzerland.” Tony answered.

“Right, right, exactly.”

“Killian, no I don’t remember that guy.” I scoffed and smiled at Happy’s response. “Of course you don’t remember. He’s not a blond with a big rack. At first, it was fine. They were talking business. But now it's, like, getting weird. He’s showing her his big brain.”

“His what?” Tony was clearly confused.

“Big brain. And she likes it. Here, let me show you.” Happy raised his arms and turned as if to show Tony into the conference room but all he did was successfully add me into the frame and allow me to see Tony by the wine bottles in the basement. “Hold on, see?

“Look at what? You, watching them? Flip the screen then we can get started.” Tony points out. “Polly, help him.”

I reached over Happy’s shoulder to rotated the camera but Happy just batted my hand away. “I’m not a tech genius like you two okay? Just trust me. Get down here. Alexa, agrees that it’s weird.”

“Flip the screen I can see what they’re doing, she can help you.” Once again I reached over to help Happy flip the screen but he pulled the tablet away.

“I can do it! I don’t know how but I can! Besides, you can’t talk to me like that anymore, you're not my boss.”

“Look Tony, I’m with Happy on this one. It’s pretty sketchy. Not to mention there is a guy with him and he seems pretty shifty.”

“You two need to relax. I’m just asking you to secure the perimeter.”

“You know what? You should take more of an interest in what’s going on here. This woman’s the best thing that ever happened to you and you’re just ignoring her.” Happy was looking into the conference room where Killian was helping Pepper off the table and out of the holograph of his brain.

“A giant brain?”

“Yep.” I confirmed

“There’s a giant brain. There’s a shifty character. I’m going to follow this guy. I’m going to run his plates and I’m gonna.. If it gets rough, so be it.”

“I miss you, Happy.”

“Yeah I miss you too. But the way it used to be. Now you’re off with the super-friends. I don’t know what’s going on with you anymore.”

Tony made an excuse and quickly ended the call. I’m also quite convinced he might have put his phone into one of the wine refrigerators while doing so but I wasn’t quite sure. Happy looks over at me as he puts down the tablet. “Are you up to riding with me tonight?” I stood up and looked over at him. “Only if you buy me food I’ll join you on this stakeout.” Happy followed and we head out to bring Pepper’s car around so she could head home.

Happy made his way to greet Pepper and inform her that her car was ready while I sat in his car snapping a photo of the license plate to the vehicle Killian and his shifty associate got in for Happy to run it later.

☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰

Chinese Theater. That is where Happy and I had tailed Sir Creeps-a-lot to. Happy had yet to pick us up food, too busy on his task but I didn’t mind. I was reading through a chapter for school. The car parked and he looked over at me. “Wait here. Call Tony if anything goes wrong.”

It was calm for a while, maybe 30 minutes. I was beginning to grow nervous that something had happened especially at the faint sounds of screams. I got out of the car that Happy parked down the block and began walking towards the Theater where I watched Happy walk to earlier. I was probably halfway there when I fell to my feet and fell from under me as the ground shook, an eruption of fire billowed out into the street. An explosion. My ears rang, I couldn’t tell if it was the after effect of the bomb or the blaring car horns but my head wasn’t clear. My heart rate picked up as adrenalin began to pulse through my body but instead of running away I ran towards the site. My hand clutching the phone in my pocket. I don’t remember calling anyone. I remember the burning embers, the crunch of glass, the awful sickening smell of burned flesh, and I remember screaming for Happy.

I rode in the ambulance with Happy, refusing to leave his side. I don’t think I had left his side until I was pulled into someone’s arms. My mind didn’t fully register it. Doctors just kept saying I was in shock. I looked up away from Happy’s body in the hospital bed. My eyes landed on Tony, he just gave me a small nod and moved over to my side, letting me lean against him. I don’t think I fell asleep until the two of us had somehow curled up on the chair together, his hold on me reminded me so much of a protective father that I couldn’t stop my eyes from falling closed.

☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰

A nurse came in to check on Happy moving right by the two occupants in the chair. It wasn’t until she raised the remote to turn off the TV that Tony spoke up.

“Hi.”

“Oh!” The startled nurse turned around to look at the person who spoke.

Tony let out a soft chuckle to try and clear the air and nonverbally apologize for scaring her. “Do you mind leaving that on?”

“Sure.” She responded but was confused since no one was actually watching the television.

Tony stood up carefully moving Alexa off of him onto the chair where she curled up even farther into a ball than what she was before. Tony took a few stiff steps with his arms crossed as he looked at the television. “Sunday nights. PBS. Downtown Abbey. That’s his show. He thinks it’s elegant. One more thing. Make sure everyone wears their badges. He’s a stickler for that sort of thing.”

Tony moved back over towards the chair where he gently shook awake the sleeping girl. It was time for them to leave and after what had happened Tony wasn’t about to let Alexa go home alone. They reached the main lobby where a car would be picking them up. Outside there were already dozens of reporters and camera men waiting.

“Keep your head down. Don’t say anything, just get into the car okay?” Tony instructs in a serious but soft tone as he wraps an arm protectively around her shoulders. On his cue they began to exit the hospital being greeted by people calling his name. A female reporter stuffed her microphone into Stark’s face.

“Mr. Stark, our sources are telling us that all signs are pointing to another Mandarin attack.” Alexa is pushed into and bumped causing her to grip onto the dark shirt that Tony was wearing as a way to anchor herself to him as he pushed through the reporters.

“Anything else you can tell us?

As soon as they arrived at the car Tony made sure Alexa got in ignoring the press around him until one thing managed to catch his attention, “Hey Mr. Stark. When is somebody gonna kill this guy? Just saying.”

Tony turned to the man and Alexa watched nervously from inside of the car. “Here’s a little holiday greeting I’ve been wanting to send to the Mandarin. I just didn’t know how to phrase it until now. My name is Tony Stark and I’m not afraid of you. I know you’re a coward. So I’ve decided,” Tony removes his glasses looking right into a camera, “that you just died, pal. I’m gonna come get the body. There’s no politics here. It’s just good old-fashioned revenge. There’s no Pentagon, it’s just you and me. And on the off chance you’re a man, here’s my home address. 10880 Malibu Point. 90265. I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

Alexa’s jaw dropped open. What the hell had she gotten herself into? Maybe John was right about being careful being so close to Tony Stark. He had just publicly addressed a terrorist, giving up his address, the same address as the place she was about to go stay at. Oh god, was this how she dies?

#john walker!sister #walk away #female original character #pepper pots #happy hogan #tony stark #iron man #f!oc

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