Tumgik
#also it just makes me laugh when people say lark would be a better parent to him . In what universe.
grantwilsonenjoyer · 27 days
Text
every time someone says they should have made lark be normals "actual dad" an angel loses its wings
2 notes · View notes
paintedpeeta · 3 years
Note
more toast baby head canons pleaaaaase<3
anon i probably shouldn’t i feel like everyone must be sick of my ramblings by now.... but i’m still gonna 😭
first of all i’m going to start with saying katniss loves her babies, okay? she loved them so much that even before they were born she couldn’t bare to think of them suffering or in pain or being subject to the horrors of the games the way she was (this is why she didn’t want to have children. not because she didn’t like kids not because she didn’t want them not to make a statement. she simply couldn’t stand the idea of not being able to protect her children, she’d rather never have children than let that happen.) and this is why it makes sense that she has children when the world is no longer like that and she feels safe and open to the idea. (to soothe herself to sleep on the quell beach she literally imagines a world where it would be safe to have peeta’s baby like you cannot make this up. it’s right there)
i could go on and on about that because i still see people saying the mockingjay ending didn’t make sense or was out of character or forced and like 🥲 but we move we move. people are allowed to feel however they like of course.
katniss would rely a lot on peeta to help her work through her anxiety during her pregnancy. the past 15 years was them learning how to take care of each other and even though this is a wee bit different he adapts super quickly to what she needs. panic when the baby moves and kicks is quickly calmed with talk of the nursery and name ideas, getting her cosy on the couch and playing with her hair until she’s settled again.
speaking of the nursery, they decorate it together as a project to keep her busy. of course he doesn’t let her near any of the strenuous stuff but she decides where the furniture is placed and he just absolutely dotes while she fusses about minor details to make sure their baby is comfortable. “I don’t want the sun to shine in her eyes first thing in the morning. can you move the crib over here instead?”
she spends most of her pregnancies in his big shirts because they’re comfortable and gentle on her skin and also she’s a stubborn wee shit who will not spend money on clothes that won’t fit in a few months. he finds it kind of funny because she’s so petite and has been all her life and has to adjust to getting round in the middle. she’s always like “you better not be laughing at me, mellark.”
sometimes he catches her singing to the bump or just gently talking to it. “papa isn’t going to let us into the nursery because he’s painting it today. he’s already so protective, i don’t even think i’ll be allowed to get near you.” peeta is of course listening in the hallway like 🥰 because that’s his girl.
this very quickly turned into pregnant!lark rather than toastbaby headcanons im very sorry anon i just think katniss everdeen loves her babies here are more about said babies
i’ve kind of spoken about this before but on their girls first day of school they are an absolute wreck. they walk her there together, holding her little hands and keeping up with her nervous chatter and they just hold it together until they get back home. peeta says something like “what if her shoelace comes undone she doesn’t know how to tie them yet” and then they both just start bawling (she can at least blame the hormones because of toastie 2 but peeta is just an emotional wreck over his baby girl). they’re the first parents at the gate to collect her when school is over, and you’d think they’d been apart for months the way they squeeze and cuddle her. she rides home on papa’s shoulders, pulling his hair something awful but he absolutely doesn’t mind. he changes the bakery schedule so he can be there to collect her every day, and he’s never once late to pick up his little girl.
haymitch stops drinking when their little girl is born. he’s been given the role of honorary grandfather and he wants to be around as long as possible for the sweet girl with dark hair and blue eyes who calls him grampy (it’s unknown if this came from the word grumpy or grandpa or both). peeta teases haymitch rotten everytime he babysits because he’s sitting there with a bow in his hair and his nails terribly painted having a tea party with a goose like 👁👄👁💅 we had fun today.
swimming lessons at the lake with mama and papa. toastie girl is very good but their boy prefers to goof off and splash and dunk his papa’s head under. he is, however, a natural at fishing. he can be quiet when he needs to be and his nets always seem to be full when he goes out with his mama. they noticed this talent when he was just a little toddler and yanked a fish out of the lake with his chunky baby hands (peeta is like “what the fuck. what did i marry into”)
peeta and katniss sometimes quietly observe their children playing together, their girl setting up a little fake bakery and using her baby brother and the cat as her only customers. baby boy is like, propped up on pillows because he can’t sit yet and girl is like “I think i’ve short changed you sir here is the rest of your money.” he has no idea what the hell she is saying but he is living for it. the cat bolts when she tries to get an apron on him. baby boy face plants onto his cushioned pen from laughing too hard and his sister is like “okay let’s not tell mama about that one.” even though her and peeta are watching from the door with teary laughs because that’s their babies!!
the toasties are fiercely protective of each other, even when they’re little kids. their girl holds her brothers hand and walks him to his classroom on his first day of school and she’s the first one to get to him if he falls over in the yard or gets upset. one day an older boy pushes past toast girl in the corridor and her little brother is sent to the principles office for launching a pebble at his head 💀 (katniss is in that office like “i really don’t see a problem here mr principle i really don’t. it hit him right between the eyes? nice shot, kid. i mean... bad.”.)
peeta sometimes takes a toastie with him to the bakery to give katniss a rest or a chance to get out to the woods by herself, and he’s always so proud to show off his kids. they just absolutely charm the customers and also they have a lot of fun when papa lets them messily decorate cookies and cakes.
the toasties are very familiar with everyone in the memory book, even when they don’t know what happened to any of them, they know auntie prim and grandpa everdeen and their uncles.
family cuddle time is no joke. sometimes the toasties just want a night in mama and papas bed, like if there’s a thunderstorm or someone had a nightmare, and their parents of course welcome them right in. peeta always ends up half hanging off of the bed with someone’s foot pressed into his back but he wouldn’t have it any other way, and he tucks them in again when he gets up to leave for work.
also cosy naps on the couch 🥺 peeta coming home to katniss snuggled up with one or both of their babies on her chest, carefully draping a blanket over them as he takes in the scene before quietly going to start dinner.
30 notes · View notes
fea-warriorheart · 3 years
Text
Another Life
His heart pounds as he edges around the side of the barn, peeking out into the field beyond. There's no sign of his hunter, yet he's not stupid enough to think he's safe.
He's given odd looks as he sneaks across the gap between the buildings, from people and animals alike. One of the horses gives him an indignant huff as he brushes past, and he's probably lucky there's a fence between them.
He's in a bad spot. His hunter knows it better than him. He has to get to familiar ground before-
"Found you!"
Jaskier shrieks as strong arms wrap around his waist, lifting his feet off the ground. He can hear the smug grin as the boy behind him adds, "Too exposed, lark."
The hands dart down his sides, tickling him while also letting his feet touch the ground once more. Jaskier shrieks again, but there's no fear this time; laughter and mirth sound in every sound as he squirms in the stableboy's hold.
"Geralt! Stop it! I yield!"
A soft laugh comes from behind him, and the arms around him loosen, releasing him. Jaskier turns, face flushed and split with a grin as he takes in the redhead before him. Geralt's a good head taller than him, despite only being two years older. While Jaskier spends his days studying and being proper, Geralt spends his split between helping at the estate stables and learning medicinal practices under the watchful eye of his mother. He's lean from winter, as most of the village is, but there's already muscle starting to build back up on his frame with the scraps of food he's given by a sympathetic cook.
Laughter sparkles in Geralt's fern-colored eyes, a feature many might call dull compared to some of the other shades sported by humanoid races, but Jaskier was of the firm belief it fit him perfectly. Geralt was a child of nature, just like his mother, and it was fitting for such a prominent feature to reflect that.
"Julian! Get back here!"
The brunette grimaced at the sharp tone. Geralt's expression instantly smoothed into the neutral stance most of the servants took when a member of the house approached, let alone one of Jaskier's parents.
His father stalked over, scowling at him. "You're late for your lessons. I shouldn't have to come out here and drag you around. It's disgraceful."
Julian bowed his head slightly. "Yes, father. My apologies."
An iron grip latched on to his upper arm. His father sneered at Geralt as he started dragging him back towards the manor. "Get back to work, brat."
Julian didn't risk glancing back. Geralt would only get in further trouble; he knew his father already disliked the boy for being friendly with him, but kept him around because of his old friendship with Visenna. The woman had been there for Jaskier's birth, as well as his two sister's. Plus, Geralt had a way with the animals that no one could quite explain - or replicate - and it was too much trouble in his father's eyes to find and train a new boy for the job.
Geralt is one of the few good things Julian has in his life. He won't risk him by being stupid.
-
A fierce storm is raging against the windows of the kitchen. Many of the servants are fast asleep, but Jaskier paces the room, worry lines etched into his brow. Geralt is making them both a pot of tea; a messenger had arrived in the early evening, stating that Jaskier's father had been ambushed by bandits and that his location was currently unknown. Despite being reassured by his mother, sleep had not come easy to the young viscount.
Geralt rested a gentle hand on his shoulder, bringing him out of his thoughts, and offered him a steaming cup. "Sit down," he murmured. "You'll do nothing for no one wearing holes into the floorboards."
He sits with a flop, tracing a finger along the edge of the cup as he waits for it to cool a bit. Geralt sits beside him, something they're only allowed to do in moments like this; moments of solitude in a life full of company. "You know I worry."
"Yes. It's why I knew you would seek me out."
Jaskier glances at him. Geralt's coat is drying by the fire; he'd accompanied the messenger to the manor through the storm, soaking both of them through, and his mother had insisted the poor boy stay the night. He'd taken a place by the kitchen fire to stay out of the way, and had been waiting when Jaskier slipped inside.
With Geralt, Jaskier is able to be... well, Jaskier. He's able to laugh and tell stupid jokes and not care about being proper, but only with Geralt. With all others, he must be Julian Alfred Pankratz.
It's no wonder why he feels drawn to the boy.
He sighs softly, leaning against Geralt. "What if they hurt him?"
"He's a hardy man, you know. This isn't the first time he's had to fight."
"That doesn't mean I have to be happy about it."
"I know, lark." Geralt gives him a one-armed hug-squeeze around his shoulders. "He'll be alright. Probably just lost his way in the storm, is all."
Jaskier shrugs miserably, sipping at his tea. They sit in silence for a while; Geralt eventually stands to clean their cups and dry them off. He's placing them back in the cupboard when the door slams open, startling both boys and causing the fire to give a threatening flicker.
Two figures stumble inside; one is unmistakably his father, while the other has broad shoulders and wears a thick cloak, obscuring all but the chestnut beard with gray flecks peppering it. The stranger slams the door shut, bolting it against the wind, and Jaskier's father stands there for a moment, breathing heavily as he takes in the two boys.
The stranger turns, then, and Julian's heart clenches when he sees the Witcher's medallion hanging around his neck. He pulls down the hood of his cloak, golden eyes reflecting the light of the fire. His gaze is on Julian, studying him curiously.
He turns back to Julian's father. "I assume you didn't expect either of them to be here. Which would fulfill your payment."
The man tenses, then shakes his head. "No, I expected my son to be here. He always waits up when I'm late. The stable boy, though- bah. You can take him."
Julian feels his world slow to a halt. When he looks at Geralt, he feels like he's moving through pine resin. The redhead's eyes are wide with shock and fear, and his mouth opens and closes a few times, though no sound leaves him.
"Fine. I doubt I have enough rations to bring both of them with me, anyways." The Witcher turns back to them, crossing his arms. "Your name, boy."
"No!" Julian's voice starts working again, and he stands between them. "You can't take him!"
"Julian," his father hisses, storming over to him and yanking him away. "He claimed the Law of Surprise for saving my life. It must be fulfilled."
"No! He can't take Geralt! Please, father, you can't let him!" Tears burn his eyes. Geralt still isn't moving, still hasn't looked away from the Witcher.
Golden and green gazes snap to them as Julian is backhanded. The Witcher is there in an instant, gripping his father's wrist enough to make the man cry out.
"I don't take kindly to those who would abuse a child for caring for a friend," the Witcher says softly. "Touch him again and lose your hand. Your oath has been fulfilled. Leave us, now."
"Wait." A small voice sounds from the corner where Geralt stands. He's trembling, eyes darting between the Witcher and Julian. "Can I- Can I at least say goodbye?"
Something in the Witcher's face softens, and he steps back, nodding. "Do you have any family?"
"My mother, she lives in the village..."
"You can say farewell to her as well and grab some spare clothes. Make it quick."
The Witcher leans against the fireplace, and Geralt rushes over, wiping at Jaskier's tears with soothing motions. "It's alright, lark. Don't cry... It'll be okay..."
"Geralt... Please, you can't leave me..." Jaskier gripped his shirt, twisting the fabric in his grip. A gentle hand brushes through his hair.
"You know I can't just ignore this, lark... I have to go, but we'll see each other again eventually, yeah...?"
Jaskier sniffles. Geralt lifts his chin, forcing their eyes to meet. He smiles gently, and for the life of him, Jaskier can't help but feel the truth in his words. He nods, even as his bottom lip wobbles. "Yeah."
The Witcher steps in again, a hand on Geralt's shoulder. He hands the boy his coat, and with one last look back, Jaskier's best friend vanishes into the stormy night.
-
He learns in Oxenfurt how few boys survive the Witcher mutations. He does not want to believe it, but part of him mourns his friend. Geralt was strong, but verging on too old for the Trials; his body would be more likely to reject them than to adapt to them. And besides, Geralt was a farmer, a healer, not a monster hunter.
So Jaskier does his best to move on. But there are nights, often dark with storms, where he curls in on himself and wishes things had happened differently.
He graduates Oxenfurt a master of the arts and top of his class, and then he just... wanders. He plays as a bard in taverns and inns, earning enough coin to stay the night and occasionally buy some new clothes. He takes lovers, but never partners; he loves too much and yet too little, flitting from person to person as his very being rejects each and every one.
He's nineteen, playing in some backwater village. The road there had been harrowing; he had been lucky to join a group of merchants at the last town. A nest of monsters - he wasn't sure what, he hadn't paid attention - had been terrorizing most travelers in small groups for weeks. They'd even been so desperate as to put up a notice for a Witcher.
Despite all of the stories, Jaskier hasn't seen another since that night. He's beginning to wonder if they're just a figment of everyone's collective imagination; perhaps the monsters just kill themselves off or migrate elsewhere when the pickings are slim.
He's just finished a song, collecting some meager coin as the door opens. Jaskier is retreating to his table when a hand rests on his shoulder; his mind runs through anyone he might have pissed off. He hasn't been in town long enough to anger any husbands, fathers or brothers, and no one would have followed him through such a dangerous area. So truly, for the life of him, he doesn't know why-
"Lark."
His world goes still in a way that has happened only once before.
He turns slowly. He's no longer a head shorter; his eyes are about level with his nose. His skin is paler than Jaskier remembers, contrasted with dark armor. A wolf's head gleams above it, snarling at his foes, and two swords are visible on his back.
Snow white hair brushes his shoulders, tied back clumsily. Jaskier can't find the strength to breathe as he finally looks him in the eye.
Gone is the green of ferns and grass in the spring; molten gold takes their place, slitted pupils darting in minuscule movements as he searches Jaskier's face. For all the differences, he's still the same boy - still the stable boy Jaskier knew.
He's still...
Jaskier is breathless as he whispers, "Geralt."
A small smile spreads across the boy's - man's, he's twenty, twenty-one now - face. He takes Jaskier's hand in his, squeezing it gently. "I told you I'd see you again."
//An indulgent thing that I came up with out of the blue. Lost steam at the end which is why it sort of trails off, but hey, if anyone's interested in a part two.... (bold presumption, I know.)
41 notes · View notes
dukethomas · 4 years
Text
Summary: Duke and Damian, over the years. 
Written for @duketectivecomics’ Duke Week! Day Four is Reverse Robin, though I modified it so it could be Reverse Batfam. Reverse Batkid? Still works.
-
Duke is nine. He’s Batman’s partner, Lark, and helping Batman punch the living daylights out of criminals helps him forget his parents’ grins and their laughter, and his laughter. (Bruce benches him whenever he’s working on a Joker case. Duke doesn’t complain.) It’s fun, and he’s good at it.
However, he’s heard enough about the League of Assassins, and he’s watched footage in training of Bruce fighting off a whole horde of Assassins (with a capital A) to know that these guys aren’t to be trifled with. And while Duke has spirit and guts and instinct and smarts, what he doesn’t have is the grace anyone in that footage has. He’s still training. He has a long way to go.
And he definitely can’t fight off an Assassin on his own. He’ll try, sure, but he has his limits.
So when he runs to open the door—he and Alfred have made a game out of it, because they kept running into each other whenever the doorbell rung. Whoever gets there first gets a fresh batch of cookies or tea made just for them by the loser—his eyes widen and his jaws drop when he sees Talia al Ghul.
And a boy, who’s taller than him, so Duke assumes he’s older. The boy sniffs and turns his nose up at Duke.
A few seconds too late, Duke settles into his fighting stance. His fists are up and he stares down Talia al Ghul and the boy, hoping something in his eyes would tell them to back down, something steely and indomitable, like all the books say.
Talia al Ghul chuckles. “Down, boy,” she says, her eyes glittering with mirth. “Neither of us intend to cause harm.”
“Speak for yourself,” the boy mutters, glancing at Duke, but Talia al Ghul doesn’t seem to hear it. The boy is unsettlingly quiet and still for someone who doesn’t even look that much older than Duke. He holds himself weirdly. It’s not unlike the entitled rich kid pose, but it’s also tense and lax at the same time.
Like how Bruce fights, Duke realizes. His mind is tense but his body is calm.
“Uh,” he says ever so eloquently. “Bruce! Alfred!”
Bruce shows up three minutes later, and the boy inhales sharply, but softly. Duke is already getting tired of the oxymorons.
“This,” Talia al Ghul says with a light flourish, “is your son. Damian al Ghul Wayne.”
I’m sorry, what?
Duke glances back at Bruce to see what he thinks, and Bruce’s eyebrows are tightly knit together. “You told me you lost the child,” he murmurs.
“I lied,” responds Talia al Ghul, a line of regret tracing her nonchalant tone. “My father’s wishes.”
And what happens after devolves into boring grown-up talk, so Duke stops paying attention. He keeps an eye on their respective body languages, in case this turns into a fight.
But he hates being by adults who are talking without him with nothing else to do, so he turns to the boy—Damian.
“Our names both start with a D,” he offers, smiling at Damian.
Damian doesn’t smile back. Instead, he scoffs, and says nothing else. What Duke has gathered is that Damian was raised with the League of Assassins, which means chances of him being an Assassin too are nearly one-hundred percent. But Talia al Ghul has years, decades, maybe centuries of training on Damian, and Damian can’t hide the worry in his eyes nearly as well. Plus, Duke’s good at reading people, Bruce says it’s a talent.
So he tries again to talk to Damian. “You’re coming to stay with us, right?” A small nod. Success! “I gotta show you all the good places to hide. It won’t hide us from Alfred, because Alfred knows all, but if you don’t want to listen to Bruce, well.” He gestures at Bruce and Talia al Ghul jabbering on about something adult-y.
“Tt,” is the only sound that comes from Damian, and it’s the third oxymoron so far. It’s simultaneously amused and disapproving, and that’s when Duke thinks he knows the problem.
Damian has a shadow cast over him, a long and dark one he can’t seem to shake.
Well, that’s fine. Duke has always clung to the light better than the shadows, he’ll just be Damian’s light as well as Batman’s.
-
Damian doesn’t warm up to Duke quickly, though not for lack of trying on Duke’s part. The older boy keeps brushing him away and getting all huffy, and downright rude. Once Duke sneaks up on Damian and he whips around with a blade pointed towards Duke’s head. Yeesh.
Duke eventually decides it’s easier to stay away. Do his Lark business, go to school, let Bruce deal with Damian.
And he thinks Damian resents him for that. Duke can see why—Bruce gets all stiff and cold with Damian, like he was in the first month of Duke living there, but he’s caught Damian lingering in the doorway of Duke’s bedroom watching Bruce hover around Duke more than once—but honestly? He’s just tired of it. And he wishes he could help, but clearly there’s something deeper there.
Still. Duke doesn’t dislike Damian. Damian’s just… rough around the edges. And sometimes those rough edges are deadly and sharp and Alfred tells him to stay away from knives in the kitchen (even though Duke’s fought off goons with knives before).
(And Duke’s used to rough edges, he thinks, shuddering as a boisterous laugh comes from the TV when he does his homework.)
“Hey, Batman?” he asks one night during a stakeout.
Bruce looks over to him, eyebrow clearly raised even if Duke can’t see it through the cowl.
Duke shines his flashlight into Bruce’s eyes, earning him a curse and a scowl. “When are you going to talk to Dami—um, D?”
“Put that down,” Bruce commands gently, pulling the flashlight away, but Duke just redirects it. “I’ve been talking to him.”
“Yeah, to tell him off! When are you going to treat him like your son, B? You treat me more like a son than him, and I’m not even—” He cuts himself off. “I’m not even your son.” Which shouldn’t feel like it’s gnawing at him inside to say, because it’s true. Doug Thomas is his dad and will always be, but…
He shakes his head. The focus is on Damian right now.
“Are you ever going to let him… y’know?” he blurts. He’s always finding Damian in the Cave (Batcave, Duke insists, but Bruce just ruffles his hair) wielding his sword. He has half a mind to ask Damian to train with him, because Duke knows if he wants to be better, he has to learn from the best. And Damian looks incredible when he practices. All fluid and graceful, like he learned how to fight before he could walk.
Bruce’s hand reaches towards Duke, then draws back. “We don’t use lethal methods, Lark.”
“Then teach him non-lethal methods.”
The answer seems clear as daylight to Duke, though evidently, not so much to Bruce. He hopes it helps anyways.
And then the thugs they’re on the lookout for walk into the warehouse with a confident swagger, and it’s showtime. By the time they’re done, Duke is grinning and bouncing, saying, “I just knocked that guy out, did you see that? That was so cool!”
Batman never loses his stony demeanor while in costume, but if the edges of Bruce’s mouth curve upwards on the Batmobile ride home, Duke knows to not tell anyone.
Unfortunately, his dreams are less than pleasant.
It’s his parents again. When is it not? They’re pressed up against the glass, his mom has this crooked smirk, and she snarls at him. She bangs her fist on the glass and yells, “I’m going to kill you!”
Duke backs up, finding only a foot of space between the glass and the wall behind him. “Mom,” he croaks out, but she doesn’t hear. She never does. “Mom, it’s me, it’s Duke, your son.” His eyes burn and tears come spilling out.
The lights flicker once, twice, before zapping out completely, leaving him and his parents in darkness.
His mom cackles, and tells him, “I know. I know!” and she’s more aware than she’s been in months, and she barrels her head into the glass. It cracks, shards of glass flying around Duke.
A plea is on his lips as she lunges at him, and he jolts up, his shirt damp with sweat.
He’s in his bedroom at Wayne Manor, he dully realizes. He’s still shrouded with darkness, but his parents aren’t here. They had considered moving his parents on the grounds, but ultimately decided against it.
He lets himself pant, gripping his bedsheets. Would he be a bad son if he thinks that was a good decision?
Duke hears footsteps outside his door and freezes, his heart pounding in his ears. He squeezes his eyes shut.
Someone opens the door, and there’s a click—a familiar one, from the light switch. Duke cranes his neck to see Damian entering, the older boy awkward and groggy in his movements, but there.
Damian is still in the doorframe, his eyes roaming the room and looking anywhere but at Duke. Something gleams in his left pocket. “I heard… there were screams. Did you need something, Thomas?”
“Please,” Duke whispers, eyes wide and staring at the shadow behind Damian. “Can I have a hug?”
Damian pauses, steps back, then moves forward, making a beeline towards Duke. He envelops Duke into a hug, oddly detached and patting Duke on the back, but a hug nonetheless. Duke leans into the touch, feeling a tear roll down his face and onto Damian’s shirt. “Sorry,” he mumbles, his throat tight.
“It’s… alright,” Damian replies. “I was already awake. And I have other items of clothing.”
For some reason, that brings on the sobs into full-force, with Duke gasping for breath as he lets it all out. Damian is there, still patting Duke on the back until it becomes a rhythmic comfort.
Duke doesn’t know when he drifts off to sleep, but he wakes up with Damian’s shirt draped over him with his green blanket.
Sunshine slips in through the curtains, hastily pulled open, as sunshine blooms in Duke’s chest. He sprints downstairs, jumping and skipping stairs like he’s walking on air.
“Slow down, Master Duke!” Alfred reprimands, and Duke shrugs and does as Alfred says, but only a little bit.
He almost runs straight into Damian, but he stops himself just in time. He opens his mouth to thank Damian, but Damian furrows his eyebrows at Duke and says, “Did you talk to Father? He spoke to me about training,” and a tension has been lifted from Damian’s shoulders. He’s springier.
“I think?” Duke says, knocking his knuckles on his head trying to recall what else happened last night. “Yeah?”
Damian stares at him, his brown eyes meeting Duke’s own with a hint of something gleaming in the light. “Thank you,” he tells Duke honestly.
“No problem!” Duke chirps. And before he can take it back, he says, “That’s what brothers are for.”
(He doesn’t take it back when asked about it later. The term “brothers” feels right, even if they only started having amiable conversations last night. He doesn’t think about the implications.)
-
It’s six months of non-lethal training until Damian is deemed fit to go out into the field. Duke leans on Damian’s shoulder as the older boy sketches out a mannequin with armor. It’s when “Shadow” is written in neat cursive that Duke realizes it’s meant to be Damian’s suit.
He blinks, his eyes drooping.
He doesn’t have patrol tonight, or tomorrow for that matter, but he really needs to lay off the late-night patrols. And the late-night training. He doesn’t want to fall asleep in the middle of class.
“That looks cool,” he comments, taking in the design. It’s gray and black, a bat in the chest. Damian fills in the outline of a cowl, and—
“Hey, wait, is this just a mini Batman costume?”
Damian stiffens. Almost imperceptibly, but Duke is busy soaking up Damian’s warmth right now, so he notices.
Duke moves the desk lamp so he can see the drawing more clearly. “C’mon, Damian,” he says, “I know you can be more original than this.”
“Tt,” Damian responds, still tracing over the lines he’s already drawn. “It has already proven itself to be a suitable design; why bother?”
A curl falls in front of Duke’s eyes, and he blows it away. Huffs, puffs, and the whole shebang. “Because you’re not Bruce? I have my own suit. I chose the colors!” Yellow with black accents, because it’s always been a hopeful color for Duke, and that’s what he wants to inspire—hope. Also, it’s a lark color scheme, minus brown, because wearing brown? Yuck.
Yeah, sure, Lark has been described as a child flashlight several times, but Duke stands by his decision. Even now, thinking about his suit makes him smile.
Damian pauses for a while after that. His hand stills. “Are you suggesting Father isn’t someone I should aspire to be like?”
“Be like,” Duke points out. “Not be. Seriously. I think you would look really cool in green!”
A scoff comes from Damian at that. “I chose the name Shadow for a reason, I will not go out in bright colors and compromise stealth.”
Duke yawns and snuggles closer into Damian’s shoulder. “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Dami. I’m just saying, you don’t have to be Batman.” His eyes close, and it’s a sweet relief. Damian doesn’t respond for a while, so Duke adds, voice soft, “I think Lark looks cooler than Batman, anyhow.”
He wakes up on Damian’s bed, the older boy and his sketch conspicuously missing. When Duke heads down to the Batcave for training, he sees a new paper pinned. He recognizes the swoopy thin lines of Damian’s art, but the design is totally new.
The suit is wicked cool, dark gray and all jagged edges where the Batman suit has smooth lines, and a little circle to the side of the chest with a Bat rather than one spread across the chest. It’s cloaked rather than caped, the hood concealing hair instead of a cowl. A black domino mask with white lenses covers the eyes. Golden accent lines run throughout the suit, and Duke wonders if people affiliated with the Bat can only really have one color scheme: black, gray, and yellow or gold.
He grins, looking at it, but turns at the quiet footfalls he’s been learning to recognize.
“Good morning!” he chirps at Damian, who’s rubbing the grogginess out of his eyes. Despite that, he’s already dressed, wearing a forest green sweater and black jeans.
Damian half-smiles and arches an eyebrow. “Do you still believe that Lark’s suit is the coolest?”
And c’mon, Duke has to defend his honor. He sticks his tongue out and blows a raspberry. “Always and forever.”
“Well then, it appears you have been misinformed,” Damian hums.
Damian’s suit is completed within the week, and Duke has to admit—it looks even cooler when it’s real. Lark’s is still the best, though.
-
Duke would be lying if he says he isn’t dumbfounded every time he gets to visit the Watchtower. It’s in outer freakin’ space, of course he’s impressed. His headquarters is a literal cave. Even with four years as Lark under his belt, his jaw still drops.
Batman’s here for a routine League meeting. Normally, he and Damian don’t come with, but another sidekick—Duke makes a face at the word, he prefers the term partners, but the media sticks with that—debuted the other day. He goes by Kid Flash, and he seems pretty cool. Duke’s looking forward to meeting him… if the Flashes ever showed up on time.
Which they do not. So Duke and Damian wait, along with some others—Aqualad, Teen Lantern, Red Arrow, and Crush this time around—with Hawkwoman as their babysitter of sorts. She’s not the most thrilled with this assignment, but Duke can’t blame her, it’s pretty boring.
Duke and Damian sit with each other by the wall. Superboy should have been here but he and Superman had civilian duties to take care of, so they sit in comfortable silence.
He gives up within two minutes. It’s just too long to wait while doing nothing. He stands up to have a look around the Watchtower, maybe he can even find that huge window that shows off the expanse of space. His English teacher will love the words he writes about it.
Something catches his eye, a dull silver in the edges of his vision. Duke heads towards it, and to his delight, Hawkwoman left her mace on a table. A grin splits his face and he reaches out to hold it.
“What are you doing?” Damian hisses from behind him, pulling his hands away from the mace. “Don’t touch that!”
“But Shadow!” Duke argues. “It’s right there! It’s not even harmful, I think! It’s made out of alien metal, right? That’s so baller, I have to feel it for myself.”
Damian sighs and puts his head in his gauntlet-covered hands. “Nth metal, Lark. It’s made of Nth metal, and is potentially very dangerous.”
Duke takes the spare moment of distraction to hold the Nth metal, and he grins up into the ceiling. A mistake, he realizes as industrial lights beam down at him, causing him to squint and glance down.
Damian moves forward to pull the mace out of his hands, except there’s a quality to him, a certain golden sheen, and Duke backs up. He blinks, and Damian hasn’t even moved, but then he does, again, in the exact same way as before.
Damian’s lenses widen. “Lark, let that go. Now!” he commands. “It has an effect on you. Your eyes are—”
Duke blinks a few more times, not hearing the rest of that. His vision is so much sharper now. It’s making him a little dizzy, but he doesn’t say that.
Instead, he does let go of the mace, and it clatters to the floor noisily.
“Shadow,” he blurts, lurching forward.
Damian catches him and pulls him up into an embrace. Duke may be twelve now, but he’s reminded of his dad’s hugs. Firm and protective. He leans into it. “Are you alright?” Damian whispers into Duke’s ear.
Duke’s vision swims with lights and colors and brightness. He buries his face into Damian’s chest, relishing the darkness. He nods.
Damian’s hand rests on Duke’s back. “We’ll… we’ll figure this out,” he promises.
-
Duke swallows down a glass of punch at the side of the room in the middle of a gala. It slides down his throat and sloshes around in his stomach uneasily.
He stares at Cass, quiet for a ten-year-old but the brightest person in the room. Everywhere she goes, by Bruce’s side or not, people flock to her and their gazes are drawn in her direction. She glides through the gala graceful as the moon, but with the attention she’s getting, you’d think she’s the sun.
The gala is being held in celebration of Bruce’s adoption of Cass. A darling princess for the Wayne lineage, says one newspaper. Bruce Wayne’s pity adoptee, sneers another.
And Duke can relate. Bruce and Alfred tried to hide it from him, but the tabloids didn’t have anything good to say about him either. But Duke’s mind lingers on the difference.
He shakes his head, staring at his deep brown eyes through the cerise lense of the punch. It’s silly. Of course Bruce wouldn’t adopt him; Duke has perfectly good parents already. It would make the paperwork easier should—when his parents get cured.
“Something’s wrong,” Damian observes, walking up behind Duke.
“Nothing’s wrong,” Duke replies, ignoring the way his chest twists at the words.
He can practically feel Damian raise his eyebrows. “You’re lying, and we both know it. Come with me, Duke.”
Duke follows without a retort, and Damian leads him to the balcony. The gentle moonlight and starlight welcomes him more than the harsher lights of the chandeliers inside ever have.
“Since when did you become the emotionally intuitive one?” Duke asks, crossing his arms over the railing.
Damian huffs. “I am still not aware of what’s going on with you. But I am… I’m your older brother. It’s my duty.”
Duke hums at that. The description resonates deep in his bones, a familiar comfort, and it had never felt wrong. More like puzzle pieces snapping together.
Brother often means they share a father. It just as often can mean they do not. And Duke didn’t think they did—did they?
“It’s not Cass’ fault,” he says, playing a mental game with the Gotham skyline. He always tries to find his old neighborhood, before he got taken in by Bruce. It helps him remember, so one day, he might come home and he wouldn’t have forgotten. “It’s my brain that’s being fucky.”
“Language,” Damian reprimands under his breath. He then speaks in a louder tone, now meant for Duke’s ears. “I didn’t think so. You were never the resentful type. I’m grateful for that.”
Duke throws his head back to laugh. Five years ago, Damian would rather stab him than talk about feelings like this. Duke wanted to train with Damian. Funny how things change. “No, it’s—it’s something else. Bruce adopted Cass. That’s what’s bothering me, I think.”
Damian tilts his head at Duke. “Would you prefer for Father,”—Baba, now, behind closed doors, but Duke wouldn’t pry—“to adopt you?”
“No. I don’t think so. Would I? I already have a dad.” Duke sucks in a breath. He’d gone to visit them last weekend. No improvements, as per usual. Not even lucid enough to give Duke death threats.
“Family isn’t bound by blood,” Damian reminds him softly. “I have a brother now, and a sister. Who’s to say you can’t have two fathers?”
Duke blinks rapidly. His finger brushes the corner of his eye and comes away wet. “And I’m not a bad son? I’m not abandoning my dad for Bruce?”
“Absolutely not.”
And just like that, a dam bursts. One tear rolls down Duke’s cheeks, then another, then several more. Despite this, hope settles into his chest with the cool touch of the moon and stars.
“Thank you, Dami,” Duke says, jumping into a hug with the taller boy (though Damian won’t remain that for long—Duke shot up rapidly in the last year or so, and he’s quickly approaching Damian’s height).
Damian returns the hug, his chin warm against Duke’s shoulder when he tells Duke, “Anytime.”
-
Damian is dead.
Duke’s breath hitches, with quiet little Cass by his side and Steph and Harper there for moral support. The funeral is closed casket—the cover story had been kidnappers and an explosion, and thus, no body to bury.
Duke had seen Damian’s body. He and Bruce were a moment too late. Duke is fast, faster than Bruce when desperate, but he had glimpsed a moment into the future and fell back, momentarily blinded by the explosion that hadn’t even happened yet.
Maybe if he hadn’t relied on his powers, maybe if he’d pushed past that to run, maybe if he arrived a minute or two earlier, Damian wouldn’t have—
Cass squeezes his hand. Duke squeezes back, numb to the core. He lets go and steps back, into the shade of a tree.
Damian’s funeral is held on a day where the sun glares, its heat searing into their skin. It’s not right. Nothing about this is right. Damian is—was—seventeen.
After the funeral, Duke writes a note to Bruce. He writes that he’s resigning as Lark. He can’t do this anymore, not when Lark’s partner is Shadow as well as Batman. His words tumble out without eloquence, and his tears smear the ink.
He flees.
And maybe he’s a coward. He can live with that. But Gotham—the city of rebirth, he liked to call it. The city of new beginnings. The city that had always seemed like stubbornness and perseverance and hope. It was Damian’s beginning, but it was also his end.
And Duke remembers why another name was given to Gotham.
(City of death. Death and rebirth is the whole phrase. He can’t ever forget that.)
It’s marred with the memory of them, of Damian, of his parents, of the kid that hoped and told himself if no one else would help, he would. Duke can’t stay here. No matter how much this feels like a betrayal to his family, to his father that believed Gotham would shine true, to his mother who came here to start a new life, to Damian whose smile was like Gotham��s sun, he can’t stay. He can’t. He can’t.
So what if Duke is a traitor? He doesn’t have many left to betray.
Instead, he seeks refuge in Blüdhaven, notorious for being the only city worse than Gotham. A simple city, one that held no pretenses of goodness, one that wouldn’t betray Duke.
Duke thought he was Damian’s light, but now that Damian’s gone, he knows better.
Damian was a light all on his own, and without him, Duke’s light shatters into tiny shards.
One morning not long after the funeral, Duke wakes up to find the sun assaulting his eyes, which is a rarer occurrence in Blüdhaven than in Gotham.
He shuts the blinds and cries in the quiet, shadowed room, his chest heaving with every sob, painfully aware that every gasped breath is a breath Damian will never get to take.
-
(The next two years seem to fly by. Duke becomes Blüdhaven’s Signal, and begins to take on the local gangs. He dismantles them from the inside out, with a focus he didn’t often have before.
He becomes an emancipated minor at barely fifteen, and he enrolls himself into a public high school. He used to have a 4.0 GPA. Now, with late nights spent fighting, and early mornings spent applying makeup over the bruises, his school performance dips.
A boy, small and skinny, appears on his doorstep. Duke recognizes him—it’s Timothy Drake, the next door neighbor who Duke would visit every once in a while, the boy with the emptiest house Duke has ever seen. “I know you used to be Lark,” Tim Drake tells him, “that Bruce Wayne is Batman, and that Damian used to be Shadow.”
Duke flinches and nearly slams the door in tiny Tim’s face right there and then. (Duke is only two years older, but sometimes it feels like it could be centuries in between them.)
“I need you to be Lark again. Batman has been uncontrolled, lately. Violent.”
“No,” Duke says firmly, crossing his arms. “I’m not—I won’t go back.” Which is a lie. He briefly went back to finalize the emancipation. He avoided Bruce’s eyes, then.
“He needs you!”
“He needs his son!” Duke retorts. “And he has—he has Batgirl and Black Bat and Bluebird. He doesn’t need me.”
Tim only looks at him with steely blue eyes, and something in them causes a pit to drop in Duke’s stomach. Oh god, why didn’t he keep up with Gotham news, did someone else…?
Duke holds onto the memory of texting Cass yesterday. She said she was staying at Steph’s and Harper’s place, which meant all three are safe. (Right? Right.)
“I’m sorry,” he tells Tim earnestly, “but I can’t do it. I’m not that guy anymore.” And then the door shuts, with a soft click. Duke waits by the door until he hears Tim’s footsteps fade.
Jon Kent visits. Duke lets him in, and soon enough, teen heroes stop by Duke’s apartment in droves. Duke was only ever a reserves Teen Titan, to be called upon if there was an emergency; Damian was the one who made friends within the Titans, while Duke’s friends remained squarely in Gotham. Still, Titans stop by to say their condolences or just laugh over the counter with cups of instant hot cocoa.
It helps relieve the ache of loneliness. Duke doesn’t realize how much he needs other people to thrive until he calls for a Teen Titans study session and notices with glowing warm pride that his grades are straight A’s once again.
And… Duke travels back to Gotham. Not to stay, the wounds are still too fresh, but he has a conversation with Bruce, the man that has almost been a father to him for years now, and he thinks it might not be so bad.
Tim is Shadow now. Tim had a choice between Lark and Shadow, and he chose what he knows best. Instead, Steph becomes Lark while Cass fills in Steph’s shoes as Batgirl.
It’s almost a heartwarming picture of a not-quite family.
And Duke wonders if, one day, Damian might be a happy memory to look back to.
Of course, that’s when Damian returns.)
-
“You let him replace me,” Damian snarls, his hands balled into fists.
Duke freezes in place, staring at the man under the red helmet. Damian’s eyes glint with green, a sharp green that terrifies where the brown used to comfort. A shadow covers nearly three quarters of Damian’s face, but the green still pierces.
“Dami,” he says, his voice cracking. “You—you’re—”
Alive, Duke doesn’t get to say before Damian lunges at him with a knife, his eyes gleaming with madness.
-
“You have reached Red Hood. Do not try to contact me again.”
“Hey, yeah, Dami, it’s Duke, Harper and I finally found this number, I just… I just want to let you know you’re welcome back in the family whenever. Bruce isn’t even—he’s not even that angry anymore. All we want is for you to come home. We miss you. Please. I’ll call again if you don’t respond in twenty-four hours.”
“You have reached Red Hood. Do not try to contact me again.”
“Duke again. What the fuck, Damian? I know you’re seeing this. I saw you on the news. Someone managed to record a video of you walking out of that warehouse—we were going to ambush them tomorrow night, but I guess the first one there can call dibs. Anyways, I saw you check your phone. You know I’m here. You didn’t even kill any of them this time. Please come home. Calling again in twenty-four hours if you don’t respond.”
“You have reached Red Hood. Do not try to contact me again.”
“Am I the only one who leaves you voicemails? Does anyone else know you have this number, like, at all? That’s not the point. The point is that we’re still waiting. And you can come back whenever you’re ready. I just… yeah. Yeah. I’ll talk to you again in twenty-four hours.”
“You have reached Red Hood. Do not try to contact me again.”
“You know, Cass scared the shit out of Bruce the other day? She’s opened up a lot since after you… uh. Well. Anyways, you should have seen his face, Dami, it was hilarious. Almost as good as that time we put glitter into the vents of the Batmobile. I’ll talk to you again, yeah? Yeah.
“You have reached Red Hood. Do not try to contact me again.”
“I’m not actually part of the family, did you know that? Became an emancipated minor a few months after you died. I don’t know why I keep trying—if you won’t come back for family, who says you’ll come back for me? ...Does this sound sudden to you? For context, Bruce and I screamed at each other for a half hour straight about… never mind. I’ll talk to you la—oh, what the hell, you know the drill.”
“You have reached Red Hood. Do not try to contact me again.”
“...Dami? I’m in a little bit of a hurry here, but—whoa! Holy shit. I was wondering if you’d want to come to my graduation ceremony in Bludhaven next week? It’s, uh—fuck!—it would mean a lot to me if you were able to make it. I’m salutatorian. So no speeches but I’ll still look cool. Motherbitcher on a stick, I—tell me if you’re gonna come, alri—AHHHHHHHHHHH! You fucker, that hurts, I—why do I feel… dizzy…?”
“Hey! This is Duke, I can’t get to the phone right now, but don’t worry, I’m sure I’m fine. If it’s urgent, though, leave a message after the beep! ...Wait, does it beep?”
“Thomas, you imbecile, of course it beeps. You need to answer me and tell me where you are. I—I will try again.”
“Hey! This is Duke, I can’t get to the phone right now, but don’t worry, I’m sure I’m fine. If it’s urgent, though, leave a message after the beep! ...Wait, does it beep?”
“Answer me, where are you? Did you get yourself in trouble? Stupid, idiotic Thomas, why are you calling me on patrol?”
“Hey! This is Duke, I can’t get to the phone right now, but don’t worry, I’m sure I’m fine. If it’s urgent, though, leave a message after the beep! ...Wait, does it beep?”
“...Duke? I will come to your graduation ceremony. I would—I would love to see you again. Please be alright.”
“Hey! This is Duke, I can’t get to the phone right now, but don’t worry, I’m sure I’m fine. If it’s urgent, though, leave a message after the beep! ...Wait, does it beep?”
“Duke! I’m on my way. Please be alright, please be alright. If you die, I will hunt you down and throw you in a Pit, and the Pits are not to be trifled with. There’s no telling what you’ll come back like. But I… hey, watch where you’re going!”
“Hey! This is Duke, I can’t get to the phone right now, but don’t worry, I’m sure I’m fine. If it’s urgent, though, leave a message after the beep! ...Wait, does it beep?”
“I’ve talked with Father. Isn’t that what you wanted? This is a terrible way to go about it. He has a tracker on you and I’m headed to your coordinates. Please be alright. I’ll… see you when I see you.”
“Hey! This is Duke, I can’t get to the phone right now, but don’t worry, I’m sure I’m fine. If it’s urgent, though, leave a message after the beep! ...Wait, does it beep?”
“Duke Thomas, you are a colossal dumbass. But I wanted to talk to you. Doctor Thompkins is checking you over, I’m trying to avoid Father and my replacement. I… I hope you’ll be alright. You’ve paled and you’ve lost a lot of blood, but Doctor Thompkins believes you’re salvageable. You’ll be okay.
“I didn’t get to finish my message, one of the earlier ones, I just realized. If you don’t make it out of this… I will hunt down an unused Pit for you, no matter the risks. Don’t you dare say you’re not part of this family, because that isn’t true in the slightest. You are my brother. I’ve been neglecting my duties as the elder brother. I—I promise to remedy that when you awake.
“Please be alright.”
-
“I got my phone back,” Duke says to Damian. Damian’s eyes are closed, as if he fell asleep, but his shoulders are tense.
Damian’s eyes flutter open. The green pierces through Duke’s chest, they’re nothing like what he remembers. He knows all too well he can scarcely remember his mother’s real laugh anymore. What if one day he forgets Damian’s brown eyes as well?
“I heard your message. Would you really…?”
Damian crosses his arms. “I meant every word.”
Duke grins, holding out his arms. “Hug?”
Damian accepts, gently embracing Duke. “Moron.”
A tear runs down Duke’s face, but it’s warm and filled with hope for the future. Their future. “That’s what brothers are for.”
-
“Tt,” Damian says, his voice modulated coming from underneath the helmet. “You seem to be doing alright with everyone living in the Manor. I am not needed.”
Duke frowns and revs his motorcycle. Damian lost his in the warehouse explosion, so Duke’s giving him a ride to the Batmobile. They’ll steal it, just like when they were kids. “You can’t hoist the oldest child responsibilities onto me, that’s not how this works. We share it, remember? Also, we all miss you. Lark,”—now Tim, after Damian made the attempt on his life, but Duke’s positive that Tim is inventing his own mantle now—“would be a little testy about it, but he really admired you, y’know. That’s why he took your name and not mine.”
They enter the Narrows, the grimy apartments and alleyways familiar, but they really have gotten better in the past decade or so. Duke still has an apartment in Blüdhaven, but he’s been going back and forth between both cities pretty frequently.
Gotham is his home. He can’t stay away long.
“I still haven’t properly apologized—” Damian cuts himself off. Duke turns towards where the Batmobile is parked, squinting to see what’s captured Damian’s attention.
A small boy, who couldn’t be more than thirteen, drops a huge Batmobile tire and runs.
Damian chases after him, with Duke close behind. “You gotta admit,” he says to Damian with a grin, “the kid’s got guts. Jacking tires from the Batmobile?”
They slow down as they find the kid, and share a look. The kid may have guts, but to even try must mean he’s desperate.
“Hey!” Duke calls, his bright as hell Signal outfit probably more inviting than Damian’s whole shtick, especially with the sword sheathed at Damian’s side. He turns on a little penlight attached to his keyring. “Hey, we don’t want to hurt you. How about we go out to eat?”
-
“Hey, Dickhead!” Jason yells up at the ceiling. Duke cranes his neck to see, and… yeah, Dick’s on the chandelier again. It shakes, the light scattering and dancing across the room.
Damian is sitting at the table, sipping at his jasmine tea. “Jason,” he sharply reprimands.
Jason’s tiny nose scrunches up. “Sorry, Mom.”
Without missing a beat, Damian asks in a tone quiet enough for only Duke to hear, “Do you ever miss when it was only us two?”
“Always,” Duke responds. “But I wouldn’t give up any of… this family for the world.”
And maybe they’re a little broken, but they’re trying to rebuild. Duke isn’t Damian’s light anymore, nor is Damian a shadow, or another light, or anything his younger self's mind could have dreamed of. They’re people. Living, breathing people who try their best, and it’s more of a partnered relationship than anything.
They help each other. They stick by each other’s sides and they learn, and they grow, and they find that they’re more alike than they think.
Maybe they’re not alright. But that’s alright. They’re trying.
“Besides,” Duke says after a brief pause, “it wasn’t nearly as funny when it was only me driving you up a wall.”
Damian snorts at that and elbows him.
And everything seems right in the world.
Also read and comment on AO3!
75 notes · View notes
wastelandcrown · 4 years
Text
logan lark’s adventures in trying to appease his parents
CHAPTER 5: helpless
Summary: Logan Lark is a fairly average high school student. By all means, he should be impressing his parents on all grounds. Except...he doesn’t exactly have a social life. So after his parents give him puppy dog eyes, he decides to join the local theatre's youth production. Good grief...His life is about to get weird isn’t it?
Warnings: Potential ooc behavior, Roman is a teenager who makes bad choices, Remus being Remus, Emojis (If I miss something please tell me!)
Notes: This fic is based off an idea from @under-the-blue-moonlight. If you wanna be tagged in chapters, please ask!! Here’s the fluff before the storm!! Next chapter two chapters are Heavy.
Pairings: Intrulogical, Eventual Rociet, One-Sided Logicality, Platonic DRLAMP
Word Count: 3296
Tagslist: @under-the-blue-moonlight @why-should-i-tell-youu2 @im-actually-ok @hauntedturkeycalzonedreamer @croftersjam15 @rainbowsixth @snaketho 
His newfound appreciation for Patton didn’t change the fact that the idea of losing his first kiss to a stage performance sent shivers down his spine. 
It’s not like he didn’t like Patton! That wasn’t it at all! Patton has been sailing in the high numbers ever since they had hung out at his home, Virgil had even made a group chat for the three of them where they talked regularly. It’s just that Patton was Patton. And Patton was certainly not his type. They had tried to practice helpless, but Janus kept telling them they were missing something. Remus said Logan sounded like a “sexless moron”, and though Patton disagreed and blushed furiously, Logan knew he was right. He had never had a boyfriend, let alone a crush on a boy. He knew he was gay because he found certain boys attractive, but he had never liked a guy like that. Yet. 
He figured it would happen at some point, but until that point...he would have to be clueless. He ended up spending a lot of time with Remus as rehearsal continued. Though Patton wasn’t fond of him, he was Roman Repellent ninety percent of the time. Pretending that was all he wanted from Remus was easy. The other option was acknowledging how much he genuinely liked Remus. The whole time he’d known him, he’d told himself to steer clear of him. He’d never managed to do it, but he still told himself to. Something about Remus was interesting. He was a sort of enigmatic person who you could never figure out beyond the persona they portrayed. Logan was nothing if not inquisitive. 
Sitting in the tech booth with Virgil and Remus, watching the Schuyler Sisters vocal practice, he couldn’t really be mad when Remus’ legs fell into his lap. They were in such close proximity, and Remus always seemed to have a need to touch people. Remus is talking about something mindless, and Logan is listening intently.
“If they have the gun, why wouldn’t they just shoot him?” Logan asks.
“That’s what I said! It’s like they don’t care about efficiency! You don’t have to torture every character!” 
“Honestly, I cannot believe they would disregard the gun like that. Why introduce it in the first place?” 
Virgil looks at Logan inquisitively, “Logan, do you even watch that show?” 
“No,” Logan muttered, “Remus just tells me about it a lot.”
“I have no idea how you’re able to follow his train of thought, I have a hard time listening to him about regular stuff, let alone his favourite things.” Virgil says, and Logan knows he doesn’t mean it in a bad or mean way. Anxiety can make a person have a hard time listening, Logan just thinks it’s easy to listen to Remus. 
He’s called back to the stage, so he can practice Helpless with Patton again. Remus moves his legs and pulls Logan up to his feet. They are standing nearly chest to chest for a few seconds, and Logan notices each time they’re this close how tall Remus is. He’s a little over a head taller than he is, and it's jarring to him. Remus pulls him down the tech booth stairs by the hand, practically dragging him like a rag doll. Virgil should feel lucky that Logan didn’t catch his snicker at Logan’s expense. Once Remus is beside his brother in the audience, they begin. 
Patton’s performance is adorable, as usual. For Remus’ tastes it’s a little fluffy, but that’s the song for you. Much too full of innocence, he was about ready to beg for his chance to sing as Maria. He knew he had to wait his turn. Watching Logan’s performance was downright painful. His romantic face was a simple, deadpan thing, and he had flirted with enough boys to know you should never look that bland. Bland of emotion, not bland in general. No, absolutely not. Remus was well aware that Logan was hot, just in the way that cool anime boys are hot. All cold and domineering, but secretly an absolute angel. Remus planned on changing that angelic nature, but he had to give it time. Logan’s rap was abysmal in terms of emotion, and by the time it was over even Patton was cringing a little. 
Roman nudged Remus, smirking as he whispered, “I think he’s hopeless.”
“I think he could use a good teacher,” Remus smiled at Roman’s wide eyed reaction.
“You can’t possibly mean you can you?”
“Oh, I absolutely mean me.” 
Bounding up the stage stairs, Remus forced himself between Logan and Patton who were discussing the performance. Grabbing Logan by the hands excitedly, Remus beamed at him. Logan knew he had a very stupid plan just from the way he smiled. 
“Logie-bear, let me be your personal coach on how to not be an absolutely sexless moron!” 
The entire theatre went quiet.
“Remus, shouldn’t I be the one to help Logan?” Patton asked softly, his smile was nervous and Logan didn’t know why, “I am playing Eliza, aren’t I?”
“Yeah, well, you aren’t exactly dripping in hoes, are you Patton?”
“Wha-That’s not very nice! No, I am not dripping in….h-o-es, but that doesn’t mean you should help him!”
“I wouldn’t mind the help,” Logan chimes in, “I really didn’t want to have to ask Janus or Roman. Remus seems like the best option. He can give me pointers.” 
Patton could argue that Janus and Roman were much better at romance than Remus could ever be, but if Logan really thought Remus was the best option he couldn’t say no. 
When they met up at lunch, the room they had found was empty aside from the three of them. This would prove to be a bit of a mistake. When Logan made a mistake and it was called out by Remus with a quip or a joke about his romance abilities, Patton seemed to get a little huffy. Logan enjoyed his encouragement from Patton, but the comments from Remus always made him force away a smile. He was brutally honest, and Logan liked that. He wanted to be told when he looked like a complete doofus. Patton seemed to not agree, and interjected a lot on Logan’s behalf. After the first few runs, Remus seemed to be getting agitated. All it took was one more comment from Patton before Remus dragged him out by the wrist and shut the door behind them. Logan couldn’t help but wonder why. 
“Will you stop that?” Remus hissed at Patton, they were around the corner but he was trying to be quiet in case Logan was eavesdropping.
“Stop what? Trying to support Logan? You’re just being mean to him!” Patton whispered back, obviously thinking the same.
Rolling his eyes, Remus let out a big huff of amusement, “You’re really dumb, aren’t you Padre? Look at him! He might be hot, but his whole face is like a dead fish when he’s trying to be romantic!” 
“Wait, what?”
“What?” 
Patton blinked slowly, staring at Remus like he had two heads.
“Patton, if I’ve suddenly grown a dick out of my forehead that’s stood at full mast and oozing baby goo, I’d love to hear about it.”
That made Patton recoil, but he raised his voice above an angry whisper to say, “You think he’s hot?”
“I mean...duh? You’re telling me you haven’t noticed?” 
“No! No-I’ve-I’ve noticed! I just-” Patton stops, and Remus is confused now.
With a nervous laugh, Patton mutters, “It’s fine, it’s not like you’re actually trying to...Maria him. Heh.” 
“Oh no, I am. I’ve been flirting with him this whole time, I think he’s just fucking dense.”
With that Remus watches Patton go pale, and force himself back into their practice room. Remus doesn’t follow. He’s pushed enough. If Patton decides to tell Logan though, Remus may have to kill him. He trudges over to the boys dressing room and throws the door open dramatically.
“What’s wrong?” Roman asks with a smirk, “Love confession gone wrong?”
“Pft. More like a bitchy third wheel.” 
Remus lays on the ground, gently bumping his head into Roman’s knee and keeping it there. Roman moves a hand to pat his brother's head, but ends up carding a hand through his hair. 
“Do you wanna pout about it or plan some thematically appropriate revenge?”
Remus lights up, craning his head up to stare at his brother, “I thought you hated Logan!”
“Oh, I do. That’s why I think he should date you.”
They both laugh, and then they get to work. 
After flashing puppy dog eyes to Janus, they manage to convince him to help set up their exclusive after hours group practice. Somehow they rope in Remy, Emile, Logan, and Virgil. They know Emile, Logan, and Virgil will bring Patton. They also know that this is the perfect time for both their agendas. If Roman perpetuates drama, maybe Logan will get stressed and leave. If Remus gets to act out seducing, and-or marrying, Logan, then maybe he’ll have a chance at getting his number. He’ll have to try and get Logan to practice romance with him, because if he waits until he’s Maria he may have lost Logan to the unthinkable. Patton.
The teenagers all meet at a public park picnic table at around six. Patton, Virgil, Remy, and Emile sit on a blanket Patton brought from his car. Roman, Janus, Remus, and Logan sit at the picnic table, though none of them are sitting correctly. Roman takes the lead, standing on the table and addressing the group. 
“My stupid brother and I have brought you all here today for an extra special practice session! We, the leads, have much work to do!” 
Remus nods excitedly in agreement, “I personally think our first order of business should be to help Nerdy McSpecks to not look like getting it on is his worst fear!”
Most people laugh at this, and Logan even smirks a little.
“I’m more than willing to work on that first! It sounds like fun!” Patton chimes in, getting a nod of agreement from Virgil who is splayed out on the grass with his hood pulled over his face. 
“So that Logan can be most equipped, everyone who wants to can try and be Eliza!” Remus calls out loudly, and Remy chokes back laughter.
“That’s totally not just for Remus.” Janus mutters, but Logan catches it.
He’s confused now. If Remus wanted to help him practice he should have just asked? He’s certain that a guy like Remus would ask, but he disappeared at lunch. Logan wonders whether he was embarrassed to ask, but that couldn’t be it. Remus was never embarrassed. Had Patton said something to him in the hall? No, no, he wouldn’t have! Logan is zapped into his own mind, not realizing everyone is looking at him for a response until Patton speaks up.
“Well, he doesn’t have to practice with Remus is he doesn’t want to,” 
He shakes his head, “That’s not it. I was only wondering why Remus hadn’t asked before. It’s out of character for him.”
Remus cackles like a witch and grips his stomach like that was the funniest thing he’s ever heard, “Worried about me, Logie-bear?”
“Should I be? If so, then yes.” 
The whole group was silent until Remus laughed again, giving Logan a playful kick. 
“Get on with your marriage to Patton, loverboy!” 
The practice with Patton went about as well as it did in the theatre. Virgil had a clear view now, and was trying desperately not to break into a fit of laughter at Logan’s expense. It really was funny, the lack of emotion in his face seemed like it was purposeful rather than a genuine lack of knowledge. When they were finished, Remus popped up, taking Patton’s place in front of Logan. 
“First step to flirtation!” Remus begins loudly, most of the group deciding to tune them out while he instructed, “Lose your self-respect!”
“...Absolutely not.”
“Logan, boobear, you need to lose something to get the emotional stick out of your ass!” 
Logan didn’t respond, looking away from Remus. That...that one did hurt. Even if he knew he wasn’t the most emotional person, it wasn’t exactly nice to hear. 
Of course, Remus noticed, “Hey-Uh-I didn’t mean it like that! Maybe...Maybe…” 
A light bulb goes off in his head and he grabs Logan’s hands, he beams as he drags Logan further out into the grass. 
“Remus, what are you-” 
He doesn’t get to finish, Remus places a hand on Logan’s hip and holds the other tightly. 
There’s nothing he can do but follow his lead, getting another very close look at Remus as he places his hand tentatively on Remus’ shoulder. Today his makeup is purple, and his eyes look a lot less wild. His shirt has the name of a band Logan’s never heard of on the front, and his leather jacket is covered in patches and spikes. There’s no mistaking the distinct scent of Roman’s rose perfume, surely he was doused in it after practice to make up for taking a bite out of his deodorant instead of putting it on. Usually it smells awful and makes Logan want to gag, but something about a scent so sweet on a person so wild almost makes Logan lose his grip. Dancing with him is mindless, he’s being led like they’ve danced together a thousand times. When Remus raises his arm and spins Logan out, his demeanor breaks. He smiles softly, not because of the dancing, but because Remus is looking at him with the widest grin he’s ever seen. His teeth are so sharp, and on his face it looks so right. 
He feels breathless when Remus spins him back in.
“You look happy,” He chimes into his ear, “Could it be that I’m already a talented seductress?”
Logan presses his head back into Remus’ chest and really laughs for the first time in a long time. 
“Eliza,” Logan starts slowly, moving back to dancing position, “I don’t have a dollar to my name.”
Remus is confused for a moment, then has to fight back his blush.
“An acre of land, a troupe to command, a dollop of fame,” Logan has no idea the group is staring at the pair. 
He’s wrapped up in dancing, a sweet smile on his face, “All I have’s my honor, a tolerance for pain, a couple of college credits and-”
“Your top notch brain,” Remus spins Logan again, and boops his nose before he returns a hand to his hip. 
He can’t help but laugh again, “Insane, your family brings out a different side of me, Peggy confides in me. Angelica tried to take a bite of me-”
Remus feigns an offended gasp at this which makes Logan laugh a third time, “No stress, my love for you is never in doubt,”
Now Remus can’t stop the blush on his cheeks, with the combination of the lyrics and Logan’s laughter there’s no way he wouldn’t. 
“We’ll get a little place in Harlem and we’ll figure it out,” 
The dancing has led them into a more secluded area now, and though the others are peering through trees to try and see the pair but they can only see their legs. 
“I’ve been living without a family since I was a child,” They stop dancing and stand and sway together. 
Logan and Remus stand chest to chest, “My father left, my mother died, I grew up buck wild.”
“That’s more of a me thing-”
Logan rolls his eyes and plays him off, “But I’ll never forget my mother’s face, that was real.”
He raises a hand and cups Remus’ cheek like he does in practice with Patton, and Remus nuzzles into his palm. Patton does that too, but somehow this feels more...intimate. It must be the privacy.
“As long as I’m alive, Eliza, I swear to god, you’ll never feel so…” 
Remus clears his throat then moves his head out of Logan’s hand, but doesn’t step away.
“If you’re that good with me, why not in practice?”
Logan is compelled to tell the truth, “Don’t laugh.”
“Mmm, No promises.” He’s clearly teasing, Logan knows him well enough to know he means he won’t.
“I have to kiss Patton at the end of the song. I think it freaks me out. I-I’ve never-” 
Remus smirks, he squeezes Logan’s hip a little, “You know you have to kiss me too, right?” 
“Somehow, that freaks me out less.” He admits, because he’s on a particularly honest streak. He doesn’t know why the idea of kissing Remus doesn’t perturb him. He watched him bite his own deodorant stick today. Bite, chew, and swallow. 
“You know that’s weird as shit, right? Patton looks like the definition of a good kid, and is basically the sweetest person ever. You’d rather lock lips with the resident fucktard?”
“I don’t think of you like that.”
Remus has to take a step back and cover his face with the sleeve of his jacket. 
“Logan,” Remus starts in the quietest voice he can manage, “You know you don’t have to kiss either of us, right?”
Logan makes an agreeable noise and nods, so Remus takes his arm back off his face. 
“If it’s somehow less weird for me to be your first kiss, then you know I’d kiss you right?”
Whipping his head around and looking slightly shocked, Logan whispers, “Right here?”
“Take me for a coward, Logie-bear?” He teases, stepping back into Logan’s personal space.
Logan smiles wide, something he’s going to have to grow accustomed to Remus drawing out of him, “Only on occasion.” 
Which is somehow the perfect answer for Remus, who laughs beautifully and takes Logan’s chin in his hand. The kiss is short but more delicate than anything Logan had ever witnessed Remus do.
Moments after, Janus yells at them to stop making out, and Remus throws himself through the trees to yell at him. 
Logan has to take a moment and take in the fading tingle on his lips, it’s magnetic. 
“Logan?” Patton had come looking for him, “You okay?”
“Yes, very. Remus was very helpful.”
Patton smiles at him, “I saw that laughing you did! You looked so happy!”
“I…” Logan is stunned from words, but Patton picks up the slack. 
“It’s okay, I get it! Virgil gets embarrassed about laughing like that too!” 
He follows Patton back to the group, and they move on. Logan’s mind won’t stop racing, and he can’t stop thinking about Remus. Patton and Remus are critiquing Janus’ performance of Wait For It while Logan sits with Virgil in the grass. 
“Do you want his number?”
“Whose?”
“Remus’ number. Do you want it?”
“Why would I-”
“You looked like you wanted it.”
In the end, he gets Remus’ number. He texts him later that night after he finds himself unable to sleep and unsure why.
‘I apologize for the late hour, but this is Logan. I couldn’t sleep, and Virgil gave me your number this evening, so you can see as to why I am texting you now. I wanted to thank you for all your help today. I had fun, which surprises me. I do not say that often.’
Barely a minute later, he gets a response.
‘😍😍😘😘OH MY GOD LOGIE-BEAR YOU ASKED FOR MY NUMBER!? YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST ASKED ME!! 😍😍😘😘🤬🤬🤬Anyyyyyywayyyyyy If you can’t sleep maybe I can entertain you ;)))😳😳😳😳’
‘I would enjoy that. Isn’t there a new episode of that show you like out tonight?’
‘THERE IS!! I can’t believe you remembered 💕💖💕💖💕💖SO I’ll give you my IN DETAIL thoughts on this weeks 🤬🤬HUGE fucking disappointment!🤬🤬’
Logan didn’t end up sleeping until the early hours of the morning. 
51 notes · View notes
soulsxng--a · 6 years
Text
★ fill in the questions as if you are being interviewed for an article and you were your muse.
TAGGED BY:  @fourridersandaking
TAGGING: whoever wants to do it! I might do it with some of the other muses because it was pretty fun.
1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
L: I’m Lerato.
J: JJ!
A: You can call me Aro. Why does he have to be here?
J: G-guys, you said you’d behave...
2. WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME?
L: I believe I just told you...?
J: It’s Jawyr Ravi. I think I’m the only one out of the three of us with a last name.
A: Darrow. Or...in non-beast language, anyway.
3. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU’RE CALLED THAT? 
J: Um...it means “dauntless”, or “resolute” in Setian. My parents thought it suited me, but...I’m not so sure about that. I think it was more how they hoped I would turn out.
L: JJ...
A: *ruffles JJ’s hair* Did I ever tell you how I got my name?
J: *shakes head* I just know it’s Fae...
A: Mhm. The old witch that used to help me out before I became the Inari there named me Darrow after her old familiar...which was a cat.
4. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN?
L: Single.
A: For good reason. Who in their right mind would--
L: I wouldn’t say too much more, Inari. We all know your relationship might end soon with how eager you little shifter is to throw himself into the mouths of trapped gods.
A: You fucker, talk about Lark one more time...!
J: *quickly moves between the two* Hey, enough! Don’t fight here!
5. WHAT ARE YOUR POWERS AND ABILITIES?
J: Lera and I are both death elements. Obviously he’s stronger than I am, though.
L: I suppose the other ability I’m known for is seal, rune, and ward making.
A: Yeah. We all noticed that when you attacked Ativere.
L: Oh, is that why you’re really mad at me...~?
6. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
L: Blue and black.
J: Amber.
A: Green.
7. HAVE YOU EVER DYED YOUR HAIR?
A&L: *both making faces of disgust* No way.
J: Hey, you agreed on something!
8. DO YOU HAVE ANY FAMILY MEMBERS?
L: Biologically, no...
A: My older sister, Ayaka, and my niece, Smudge. I also have a...what do you all call it? A god daughter? We call her Syd.
J: It’s just me, my dad, and uncle Fei if we’re just doing by blood.
9. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?
J: My dad has Koda, but I’m allergic to her, so I can’t spend much time with her.
L: Thaneros, though I don’t really think of him as a pet.
10. TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE.
A: Him. *glares at Lera*
L: Hypocrites. *smiles coldly back at Aro*
J: *sighs, shaking his head*
11. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES OR ACTIVITIES YOU DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?
J: Yeah! I like to go for jogs in the morning, before work. I like listening to comedy routines, and I go out with Aelia to drink and dance sometimes, too.
12. HAVE YOU EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE?
L&A: *look over at JJ*
J: Why are you looking at me? We all have...!
13. HAVE YOU EVER… KILLED ANYONE?
L&A: *continue to look over at JJ*
J: Well, yeah, I’m a--
A: Outside of work.
L: They were going to die, anyway. They don’t count.
J: *long pause before finally giving a stiff little nod* Next question?
14. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU?
A: A fox. Some people say it’s hard to tell if I’m a fox or a wolf because of my coloring, but the tails should make it pretty obvious, shouldn’t it...?
15. NAME YOUR WORST HABITS.
J: I tend to panic when I mess something up. And I take on too much at once, which...causes me to mess things up more often.
A: I’m secretive. If someone asks about me, I tend to talk, without really saying much of anything.
L: ...
A: Oh no, you better say something. You’re about as far as you get from perfect, Death Dealer.
L: Fine. I’ve been told I can become rather paranoid concerning people I care about.
16. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE?
L: No.
A: Hmm...I looked up to Rhys, I guess. Don’t think that counts, though.
J: I look up to my dad. Well, most of the time, anyway. He does some stuff I don’t agree with.
17. GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
J: I think Lera’s demi, and Aro’s pan. I’m bisexual.
L: You’ve had sex with Sef before, so I’ve heard.
J: Th-that’s...that wasn’t...that w-w-was for Kele, we weren’t really having sex with each other...!
A: Can’t tell if he’s turning red because he’s embarrassed or angry...~
J: Hush...! Okay, I...I guess I might be pan, I don’t know...!
18. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL?
A: None of us do.
19. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS SOMEDAY?
A: Technically, I already am married. 
J: But would you ever want kids with Lark?
A: ...! I-I...we haven’t really...*clears his throat, running a hand through his hair*
J: Now who’s turning red?
L: I would like both, though I’m not going to go seeking anyone out...
A: Seriously? You want a family?
L: Got a problem with that?
20. DO YOU HAVE ANY FANS?
A: I don’t know if I would call them fans, but I have a few followers, and a lot of people pray to me, so...
J: I don’t have any, no.
L: A few, but I’m not entirely sure why.
21. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF?
J: Being alone? Or...or maybe failure? I’m not really sure.
A: I’m afraid of a lot of things; it’d be hard to pick what I’m most afraid of!
L: Death. I’m an only-life, so I don’t get a reincarnation after this.
22. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR?
J: I tend to go with a more relaxed look, I guess? I have a ton of different shoes I like to wear, too.
A: Hmm...I like to look a bit dressier, I suppose?
L: I don’t really have a set style. Haven’t been back long enough to figure one out.
23. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE?
All: Yes.
J: *laughing* Oh, wait...did you mean romantically?
24. WHAT CLASS ARE YOU?
A: I suppose JJ and I would be upper-middle? That one is a bum.
L: Hardly. Though I suppose I would be considered lower-class, since I don’t use modern currency.
J: He doesn’t really understand it, yet~
25. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE?
A: I have a lot of friends. Close friends...maybe 5 or 6?
J: Like...3?
L: What’s the point of considering someone a friend if they’re not going to be close to you...?
26. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE?
J: It sounds really good about now...
A: Blueberry is my favorite.
J: Oooh, make it blueberry cheesecake, and I’m game.
A: Does cheesecake even count as a pie?
J: It does now!
27. FAVORITE DRINK?
J: Coffee!
A: Hmm...maybe sake? Whiskey’s good too, though. The demon brew; that stuff is amazing.
L: I agree with JJ, coffee is fantastic.
29. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE?
A: Ativere.
J: Favorite place? Uhh...home, I guess. Around my family and my friends.
L: Anywhere but the Crypts...*makes a face*
A: Obviously you need to go back there, since you didn’t learn your lesson the first damn time. *dodges aside as Lera flicks a few energy-made knives in his direction* That’s it--!
J: Hey...! I said no fighting here...!
30. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOMEONE?
A: Of course.
J: There is someone, yeah...I don’t know if it’ll work out or not though, we’ve only been on one date.
A: That doesn’t sound like Kele. Does Jas know?
J: No, and he doesn’t need to just yet!
31. WHAT’S YOUR DICK SIZE?
L: Depends on my form. Ten inches in this form, seven in my other.
A: Eleven. Or...I don’t know, probably around nine if the knot doesn’t fit?
J: L-like six...? Seven? What’s the point of this question?
32. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN?
J: The ocean, but that’s probably just because there’s one right by where I live.
A: Probably. I prefer rivers, since I used to live close to one, but a lake is fine, too.
L: No preference, really. 
33. WHAT’S YOUR ‘TYPE’?
L: I don’t really have one.
J: Just for sex, or for a relationship? I guess I usually have a preference for blondes...
A: Really? I’ve always been more into brunettes. I usually prefer them to be smaller than me too.
34. ANY FETISHES?
J: Knife-play is kind of nice...a-and sensory deprivation?
A: *wrinkles his nose* I feel like I didn’t need to know that about you, JJ. I’m never going to be able to look your dad in the eyes again! *Aro and JJ laugh* Anyway, biting and scenting is pretty big for me. I like people to know what’s mine.
J: Oh, and kissing! Definitely kissing.
L: Kissing? I guess I agree with that. Breath-play, hair pulling, and edging are always good, too.
A: Okay, I definitely didn’t need to know that about you...
35. TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE?
A: Dominant top, usually.
L: It depends on my partner and how I’m feeling. 
A: Have you even had more than one?
L: Just because I’ve never made a habit of offering myself to anybody that looks my way like you do, doesn’t mean I’ve only had one partner.
A: *getting up, rolling up his sleeves* Fuck this, I’m going to kill him if he keeps this up.
L: Good luck with that, Inari. If you were capable of killing me, you would have done it in Ativere.
36. CAMPING, OR INDOORS?
J: *standing between Lera and Aro to hold them apart* Probably indoors? C-can we maybe...cut this short?
37. ARE YOU WAITING FOR THIS INTERVIEW TO BE OVER?
A&L: Yes!
3 notes · View notes
MTVS Epic Rewatch #202
BTVS 7x17 Lies My Parents Told Me
Obligatory Soundtrack
Stray thoughts
1)  Tbh, instead of the Spike or the Ripper spin-off, THIS is the spin-off the Buffyverse needs and deserves…
Tumblr media
We don’t get to see much of Nikki Wood but the little we do, I love. She definitely has Buffy’s sass, spunk, and punning powers. And she can kick ass!! I just think it’s such a wonderful premise to have a black slayer fighting demons in the backdrop of 1970s New York.
It’s also neat to see the interactions between Nikki and Spike and how they mirror Spike’s relationship with Buffy in the early seasons – Spike chasing after her in what looks like foreplay to him while the Slayer only feels hatred and disgust towards him yet they’re still pitted against each other as worthy opponents.
2) I truly feel for Robin in this scene, though.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I mean, getting his ass saved by his mother’s murderer must be very conflicting, to say the least.
3) This is such a sad yet truthful statement…
Hey, any apocalypse I avert without dying? Yeah, those are the easy ones.
4) Oh, Giles, don’t you ever go changing…
BUFFY Maybe you're right. Maybe everything is fine.
Tumblr media
BUFFY Giles, what's wrong?
GILES Have you seen the new library? There's nothing but computers. There's not a book to be seen. I—I don't know where to begin, Buffy. I mean, who do we speak to?
I just love that amidst all the chaos and end-of-the-world-ness, he’s worried about the school not having a library.
5) I think this scene was kind of meta, don’t you?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
6)
SPIKE Oh, bollocks. With all the rubbish people keep sticking in my head, it's a wonder that there's room for my brain.
GILES I don't think it takes up that much space, do you?
BURNNNNNN!!!
7) The CGI, though, it’s so cringey, looks like they did that with MSPaint.
Tumblr media
8) Oh, and the cringefest continues, yikes…
Tumblr media
I mean, where do I start? First, there’s the poem…
Yet her smell, it doth linger, painting pictures in my mind. Her eyes, balls of honey. Angel's harps her laugh. Oh, lark. Grant a sign if crook'd be Cupid's shaft. Hark, the lark, her name it hath spake. "Cecily" it discharges from twixt its wee beak.
I mean, it’s not necessarily bad, but it’s not… good. “Balls of honey”? Really, William? Really?
Then, there’s the fact that he’s obviously obsessed with Cecily and writing what apparently amounts to be a creepy amount of poems about her with HER ACTUAL NAME in them, and then he goes, “Hmmmm, Who is't is this cecily thee speaketh of? I knoweth not whom thee couldst possibly beest talking about. I has't nev'r hath heard such a name. Cecily, thee sayeth?”
And then there’s this, which is almost as cringey and disturbing as what comes later on between these two…
WOMAN She's lovely. You shouldn't be alone. You need a woman in your life.
WILLIAM I have a woman in my life.
WOMAN But you ne… Oh...
She’s like blushing? They’re flirting? I just…
Tumblr media
9) I get everyone freaking out about Spike’s trigger being activated, but the truth is, the trigger seemed to be dormant until they went messing with his head. What I don’t get is Spike wanting them to unchain him, though. It doesn’t make much sense when he had chained himself before and even asked Buffy to off him a couple of times. Why would he want to be free now that he knows he could still hurt people? I understand they were building up the conflict between Buffy/Spike vs Giles/Robin by having him ask to be released and having Buffy agree with him WHEN IT’S OBVIOUS HE SHOULD BE CHAINED UNTIL THEY FIGURE IT OUT AND IT’S COMPLETELY OOC FOR BOTH HIM AND BUFFY TO ARGUE OTHERWISE.
10) I fucking love Drusilla’s reaction here…
WILLIAM We'll ravage this city together, my pet. Lay waste to all of Europe. The three of us will teach those snobs and elitists with their falderal just what—
DRUSILLA Three?
WILLIAM You, me, and mother. 
Tumblr media
11) And then he goes and does the most sexual thing a vampire can do with a human BUT he’s surprised when that other thing happens? I’m sorry, but your relationship with your mom was weird way before she made a move on you…
Tumblr media
12) I truly don’t get why they can’t read into The First’s actions and realize that it was manipulating them into doing exactly what they were planning to do. It’s so obvious to me, and I expected more from Giles, tbh. I can understand Robin because he had a personal vendetta against Spike and that’s obviously more important to him than the grand scheme of things. But Giles?
ROBIN Mr. Giles... You got a moment?
GILES What's on your mind?
ROBIN The same thing that's on yours. We got ourselves a problem.
GILES Spike.
ROBIN Yeah, if that trigger is still working, then the First must be waiting for just the right time to use it against us.
GILES It does seem doubtful the First simply forgot it had such a powerful weapon.
ROBIN Yeah, a while back, it slipped up. It told Andrew it wasn't time yet for Spike. So, whatever the First's ultimate plan is, it's obvious that Spike must play an integral part in that. Something needs to be done.
GILES Buffy would never allow it
Robin conveniently leaves out the fact that The First contacted him personally and divulged the fact that Spike had killed his mother. It truly doesn’t get more obvious than that! And I understand why Robin wouldn’t care. It was selfish but totally understandable.
On the other hand, Giles’s stance is rather disappointing. Not only because he fails to read between the lines but also because he’s clearly underestimating Buffy’s ability to make the tough calls when push comes to shove. Buffy had always proven that she has what it takes to make sacrifices for the greater good, even if that means dying or killing someone she loves. And at the same time, we know that she finds strength in her emotions and her love for others. So it’s kind of bewildering that Giles doubts her at this point.
There’s also the hypocrisy of him washing his hands clean off her when she needed him the most and was actively asking for his help but trying to dictate her actions and decisions now by deceiving her. I think that’s what gets me angry, really. It’s not his trying to off Spike, as daft a move that was. It’s his lying to her and deceiving her in order to do something he knew she wouldn’t agree to.
13) So, this is for the greater good, Robin? Hmmm…. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
It looks more like you’re trying to fulfill your revenge fantasy. Or maybe he had a weird crosses fetish?
14) I mean…
ROBIN No, I don't wanna kill you, Spike. I wanna kill the monster who took my mother away from me.
Technically, he could never kill the monster who killed his mother. To begin with, Spike has a soul now and by the show’s standards, he wasn’t the same person who’d killed Nikki. This is the reason why Robin chooses to use the trigger. But the monster that shows up when Spike’s trigger goes off is not the person who’d killed Nikki either. When Spike’s under the influence of the trigger he seems to be a much more primal, instinct-driven, lethal vampire, which is not the pre-soul Spike we’ve known.
15) I really like how the fight is juxtaposed with the scene between Spike and his mom. It’s a really nice way to show how he gets to accept and overcome the burden that makes the trigger work. You can see that he’s beaten not because of Robin’s punches but because of what he’s remembering.
Tumblr media
I mean, who wouldn’t be traumatized…?
Tumblr media
16) I kind of see some of the points both of them make during their final conversation. Spike, as usual, makes some very good observations as regards Robin and his vendetta against him in the sense that he’s trying to put the blame on Spike for getting robbed of his childhood when that’s not really the case. While it’s not true that Nikki “knew what she was signing up for” because being a Slayer is not a career choice or even a calling, she did choose to put her duties as a Slayer before her personal and family life, which is why she ended up getting killed. I think it would be interesting to see how she got that mentality. I can imagine her arriving at the conclusion that she had the chance to make the world a better place for her kid, which makes a lot of sense in my opinion. I can’t help but see her “the mission is what matters” statement as influenced by the Black Power movement, too. The thing is, the fact that Robin grew up without a mom was the result of a number of reasons. That doesn’t take away from the fact that Spike was, indeed, his mom’s murderer, but it feels like Robin was trying to channel his anger into Spike because he couldn’t deal with the fact that he resented his mother for not choosing him over her job. On some level, he must’ve blamed his mother, too. It’s just a very complex issue, and I don’t think Robin would’ve gotten over the whole thing just by killing Spike.
17) I’m not a fan of the resolution, though. The fact that Spike overcomes his trauma by pissing all over Robin’s in the most brutal way feels so wrong and unnecessary, and I don’t understand why the writers made that choice and expected the viewers to see Spike as the hero in that scenario. Of course, I didn’t want him to get killed and I do like how he got rid of the trigger – by being forced to confront what he probably deems his most horrible deed and understanding that what matters about his relationship with his mom is not its ending but everything that came before. But I don’t get why he had to be so brutal with Robin in order to do that? Telling him that his mom didn’t love him and all that? Like, these are all things Robin probably thought himself a million times before, but having someone else spit them out in your face – your mom’s murderer of all people – feels like the ultimate humiliation and I don’t appreciate the writers building up Spike as a “strong/badass” character again by trashing Robin in such a horrible way. I can’t imagine how anyone would cheer for Spike here? It feels wrong to do so.
18) This is the moment you choose to bring this up, Giles? Why wasn’t this an issue before? Why didn’t you question this before?
GILES You want Spike here even after what he's done to you in the past?
It’s such a douche move to bring this up when it suits your purposes instead of showing concern about this because, I don’t know, you’re worried about Buffy reconnecting with her attempted rapist?
19)
BUFFY I'm in the fight of my life.
VAMPIRE Really?
BUFFY Not you, Richard.
“Not you, Richard” is going to be my new “Take it easy, Joan.” I’m calling it. 
20) I just love how the second Buffy realizes that Giles has been stalling her, she slays the vamp without even looking. It probably was harder for her to not kill him.
21) This also rubs me the wrong way…
BUFFY You try anything again, he'll kill you. More importantly, I'll let him. I have a mission to win this war, to save the world. I don't have time for vendettas. The mission is what matters.
I get that she strongly believes Spike is a warrior they need in this fight, but that doesn’t mean that she shouldn’t stop him from killing Robin, someone who’s also an asset – vendetta or not - but more importantly, an innocent person. This is so unusually cold of Buffy, and I don’t like it at all.
22) I don’t know why Giles assumed that Robin would succeed in killing Spike? If he’d been smart and sneaky about it, of course, but Robin was more concerned about his vendetta and putting on a big show, he was probably the least qualified person to try and kill Spike because of how emotionally involved he was in the whole thing. It’s precisely because of his emotions that he didn’t succeed. And besides, fighter or not, he didn’t stand a chance against William the Bloody, which is the one he wanted to fight. Giles was kind of stupid, tbh. Like, he trusted this guy who he barely even knew with a very important task, one that would cost him his relationship with Buffy. And he didn’t even bother to make sure that Robin would do it in a foolproof way.
23) See the hypocrisy?
BUFFY He's alive. Spike's alive. Wood failed.
GILES Well, that doesn't change anything. What I told you is still true. You need to learn—
24) This is Buffy’s kiss of death, tbh, and I fucking love it, it’s so extra.
Tumblr media
25) I’m kind of torn when it comes to this episode. I feel like it’s a solid episode in the sense that it explores both Robin’s and Spike’s issues with their mothers and Buffy’s relationship with her mentor/father figure. On the other hand, this is an episode that centers around three of my favorite characters in the show – Buffy, Spike, and Giles – and I can’t say that I like any of them in it. I can handle not liking one of them at once, but shaking my head at all of them simultaneously is too much for my poor fangirl heart, you know? I don’t know. They come across as idiotic, brutal, and cold, and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I love these characters, and watching them act so unlike themselves for the sake of the plot… I just get this uncomfortable feeling I can’t shake off. I feel... like second-hand wrongness or something.
26) If you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi. Thanks!
57 notes · View notes
enbysaurus-wrex · 6 years
Text
All-American Boy chapter 3
Chapter 3
Take a chance, take your shoes off, dance in the rain.
-Panic! at the Disco, I Have Friends in Holy Spaces
Cas:
Cas squinted his eyes at his roommate. “What’s larking?” he asked, head tilted slightly and eyebrows knit together.
Dean barked out a laugh, bending over to clutch his stomach. “LARPING,” he clarified. “It stands for live action role playing. It’s not a Shakespearean bird, you loon.”
“Larks are real birds, Dean,” Cas said, smirk forming on his lips. “What does live action role playing intail?”
“Uh, basically it’s like an RPG in real life. You run around with foam swords or beanbags for magic and just… role play. It’s fun,” Dean said with a casual smile.
“Who’s all gonna be there?” Cas asked. It wasn’t as if he were shy or anything. It just took him a while to warm up to new people and crowds freaked him out a little bit.
“Uh, Charlie, of course,” Dean said, scratching the stubble forming on his chin as he tried to remember who all was coming. “And Gilda, probably. Kevin and Channing, Garth, and a few others. Not too many people but we need the numbers in order to be a university recognized club, you know.”
Cas nodded. “Yeah. Sounds fun. Will I have to buy anything or will stuff be provided?”
Dean shook his head. “No, we’ve got a few extra supplies for newcomers but if you come to more than two games you have to purchase your own and pay the five dollar club fee.”
“Sounds reasonable. What class are you?” Cas asked, curious. He’d played several RPGs before so he was familiar with how they worked… mostly. It wasn’t as if he’d played D&D or WOW. Just stuff like Dragon Age and Skyrim.
“I’m a warrior so I’m DPS. But you have your orcs who are the tanks, mages can be DPS or healers depending. You also have rogues which can specialize in archery or short range weapons like daggers or whatnot,” he explained and Cas nodded again. He figured it would be something like that.
“Great,” Dean said, opening his wardrobe and pulling out a foam longsword.
Cas chuckled. “Where did you get that? Narnia?” he asked, not able to hide his amusement.
“Nah,” Dean said with a shrug. “Just kinda a closeted nerd.”
“Well, in my opinion, closets are for clothes. You should always be open about who you are. Why hide it?” He recognized the hypocrisy in what he was saying of course. If only he could just practice what he preached. But it was easier said than done. Especially with his upbringing.
“Well, the game’s tonight at sundown,” Dean said, pulling some costume chainmail from the closet as well. “What do you usually play as? You’re a mage in Dragon Age, right?”
“Elf mage. But I don’t have a costume. Or ears…” Cas said with a frown.
“And they haven’t put up any of those Halloween Express stores yet… We could always try Goodwill. I’m sure you could turn some ugly dress into a mage’s robes. And Charlie actually has Hogwarts robes you could wear inside-out to hide the school insignia,” Dean said, looking him up and down. “They might be a little short and maybe a little tight in the arms, but I’m sure they’ll fit. They’re kinda loose on her.”
“Not all mages wear robes you know? Dorian in Dragon Age kinda just wears a tunic with leather and gauntlets underneath.”
Dean nodded. “And thigh highs,” he said with a chuckle. “And a wicked-ass curly mustache.”
“They aren’t thigh highs,” Cas corrected. “Probably just knee highs with leather pants.”
“And he forgot a sleeve, because he’s an ‘edgy Tevinter,’” Dean said, still chuckling.
Cas snorted. “I thought he was just doing that to be sexy,” he said and Dean barked out another laugh.
“Yeah, well, you can be whatever kind of mage you want. I, myself, go for the knight in shining armor look,” Dean said with a wink.
Cas tried not to read too much into it. He knew they were just playing around. He wasn’t ready to get his heart broken again.
Half an hour and one city bus later, Cas and Dean were walking through Goodwill, looking through the dresses in the women’s section.
“You’ll probably need a large or an XL since most women aren’t as… built as you are,” Dean said, looking through the appropriate sizes.
Cas nodded. “Most women also aren’t six foot,” he said, knowing he’d probably fit an XL better and going straight to that section. He tried not to think too hard about the fact Dean called him built. It was just an observation. Nothing more.
“What about this?” Dean asked, holding up a white tunic style dress with cut-out sleeves.
Cas observed the dress, picturing wearing black jeans and boots with it. It would be a bit like what Dorian wore. Enough to make it work anyway.
“That could work if I put a belt around the waist and chest…” Cas mused.
“And Charlie has black arm-warmers you could wear as gauntlets. It’s not perfect but…”
“It’ll do,” Cas said, grabbing the garment and making his way towards the dressing rooms.
In front of the mirror, Cas stripped off his tee shirt and slipped on the dress. Other than his collar bones showing, it seemed to work pretty well. Maybe he could wear a scarf with it to make it more ‘magie.’ Afterall, he wasn’t supposed to be Dorian. He was just Dorian inspired. He could even draw on a goatee using eyeliner to set him apart from the character.
Back at Birchwood, Dean and Cas went to Charlie’s room to bum the arm warmers and some eyeliner off of her. She was so excited Cas was joining them tonight, she gladly gave over the supplies, telling him he could keep them for future cosplays if he’d like.
“Are you sure?” Cas asked, looking down at the black pencil and bit of fabric in his hands.
Charlie nodded. “Oh yeah. I have way too many sticks of eyeliner because my parents always give me makeup as stocking stuffers. And I’ve only worn the arm warmers once. They’re a little too emo for my tastes,” she said, cringing slightly.
Dean laughed. “I always seem to get car accessories in my stocking,” he said, shaking his head. “I have this huge collection of air fresheners and no car to put them in.”
Cas smiled fondly, remembering Christmases past. “I would always get more candy than one person could eat and my dad would end up stealing most of it even though I hid it under my bed.”
“Parents…” Charlie said, shaking her head and Cas tried not to be saddened by the memories.
“Parents,” he said in agreement.
After eating breakfast for dinner at Westwood (and yes, it was just as packed as Dean said it would be) the three of them made their way out to the Quad.
“Dean!” a small-framed blonde girl shouted and ran up to him, throwing her arms around his shoulders. He picked her up and spun her around.
“Missed you kiddo,” he said into her hair before setting her down.
“Jo,” he said, addressing the girl. “This is Cas, my roommate. Cas, this is Jo. She’s Bobby’s daughter and a freshman in Honors College. She has an on-campus job so she got to come up a week earlier, but unfortunately has been just too busy to stop by and see me.” He ruffled her hair and she slapped away his hand.
“Bobby who owns the auto shop?” Cas asked.
Jo nodded. “Yup. That’s my daddy. Grew up around cars my whole life but what I really want to do is teach. Well… and coach. I’m on the volleyball team here.”
Cas’s eyes bugged out of his head. “You’re in Honors College, have a job, and are in a sport? That’s a lot.”
Jo shrugged. “It’s not that bad. I tested out of a lot of the required classes and have a couple of semesters of college credit under my belt so I’m only taking twelve credit hours.”
“Tell him what you wanna teach,” Dean said, sounding rather proud of her.
“Physics,” Jo answered, a bit shyly. “I’ve always been drawn to the sciences, you know?”
Dean put his arm around her, pulling the girl to his side. He kissed her on the top of the head.
Cas felt like he was going to be sick. It didn’t come as a surprise that Dean had a girlfriend. He just wasn’t prepared for how bad it would feel. It had only been a week but he was falling for the man. Hard.
Dean:
Dean couldn’t be more proud of Jo. He kissed the top of her head and smiled down at her, her eyes shining back up at him. He knew the girl had a crush on him and that she had since they were children. They had always been really close and were open with their affections. But for all the heart eyes she made at him, he had only ever thought of her as a sister. It’s not as if he’d never told her that either. He figured she was just holding out until the day he changed his mind. Which was never ever going to happen. It wasn’t that Dean didn’t find her attractive. She was very cute. It was just that it would be so… weird. They’d known each other since daycare.
“Hey, Dean,” Max said, approaching with a small wave, his twin sister Alicia right behind him.
Max on the other hand… He’d met the dark skinned boy in freshman biology and had been harboring a crush ever since.
“Hey!” Dean said, letting go of Jo to hug each of the twins. “How are your moms?”
“Oh, you know. They’re cops so they never get a day off together but are disgustingly hopelessly in love,” Max said as he fake gagged. “It’s sickening.”
Max and Alicia were adopted, their parents dying in a car crash when they were very young. Sheriffs Jody and Donna had taken them in when they were in grade school.
“Hey!” Alicia said, suddenly remembering something. “Max and I are going to a drag show tomorrow. Wanna come?”
“Is it a Prism thing?”
Max nodded. “Yep.” He turned to Charlie. “Didn’t see you at the first meeting, Charles.”
“Been busy with RA stuff,” Charlie told him.
“And gaming,” Max said with a laugh.
“And gaming,” Charlie repeated sheepishly.
“Oh, love the outfit,” Max said, finally noticing Cas.
His friend suddenly looked shy. “Thanks. We, uh, got it at Goodwill actually.”
“Nice,” Max said with a nod. “Hey, Dean, come meet the rest of the gang.” He ushered them towards where Gilda, Kevin, Channing, and Garth were chatting with two brunette girls. As soon as Charlie approached, Gilda was immediately at her side. “Guys, this is Annie and Krissy.”
“Alex,” the one brunette corrected.
“They’re both freshman in the prospect teaching program,” Jo said.
“Prospect?” Cas asked, doing that cute head-tilt thing he always did.
Jo nodded. “Yeah, they don’t accept you into the teacher’s college until your junior year. You have to take a test and everything.”
“But you can take the test sooner than that since you have so many credits built up?” Dean asked, putting his arm around her again.
“Maybe. I’d have to ask my counselor,” Jo admitted.
Dean nodded. “Maybe you can get your program counselor early,” he suggested. Freshman had a different guidance counselor their first year as a ‘general counselor’ and after that they got a counselor in their majors.
“Enough yacking!” Charlie said with command. “As your queen, I demand no talk of the outside world once one’s feet step into Moondoor.”
“Moondoor?” Cas asked, looking adorably confused.
“The Quad,” Dean whispered with a chuckle. “It’s what we call the kingdom the game takes place in.”
Cas nodded, suddenly looking serious.
“Now then,” Charlie said, clapping her hand behind her back and walking in a royal fashion. “I want each of you to split up into two teams. You will have fifteen minutes to strategize before the game begins.”
Cas stood back while the group formed into two teams.
“Wanna be on my team, Cas?” Dean asked.
“Sure,” the dark-haired man nodded. “Who else is on our team.”
“Team Badass is you, me, Max, Jo, and Krissy,” Dean said with a smirk. “And Team Loser over there is Garth, Alex, Kevin, Channing, and Gilda.”
“Charlie isn't playing?” Cas asked, a look of confusion on his face.
Dean shook his head, chuckling softly. “Nah, she is. She just floats around to wherever she's needed. Keeps things interesting,” he said with a smirk.
“Alright good people of Moondoor,” Charlie said, approaching the front of the group once again. “What be your team names?”
“Team Badass!” Dean shouted, earning a ripple of laughter from both teams.
“Acceptable,” Charlie said. “And your team?” she asked the second group.
“Team Ass-Kickers!” Garth shouted, putting out his palm to be high fived by Kevin.
Charlie chuckled and shook her head. She instructed each team to go over their teams plan of attack. After fifteen minutes she addressed the whole group again.
She cleared her throat several times and everyone stopped talking. “Let the game commence!” she shouted and Dean let off a battle-cry.
Cas:
LARPing turned out to be complete and utter chaos with people attacking one another with foam weapons, firing fake arrows, and throwing bean bags from a pouch around their waists and shouting spells like “incinerate!” and “immobilize!” at one another. In the end, Team Badass won.
Cas was so tired, he fell asleep that night the minute his head hit the pillow. The next morning he was sore, but a good sore, the kind of ache he felt after an extra long run.
He ate breakfast with Dean and Garth (nobody else was awake) and spent the late morning into the afternoon watching Stranger Things on Netflix with them.
The entire LARPing team met for dinner at seven at the Student Center. Cas had never belonged to a group before. It felt nice.
After dinner, he was invited to go with them to see a drag show but he politely declined. He had no issues with drag or even transgender people. He just wasn’t ready to go to an event like that.
On Sunday he went out to the Quad to read his chapters while Dean and Jo were at the recplex lifting weights. Soccer practice stared that week and Dean wanted to make sure he was at least in some sort of shape before the season began.
Every day that week, at five pm sharp, Cas went to the soccer field to watch Dean practice. Sometimes Jo, Charlie, or Garth would join him, but on Thursday he was alone watching the brilliant man he was falling more and more for each and every day wipe the field with the rest of his teammates. It was no wonder the guy was there on an athletic scholarship.
As a midfielder, it suddenly became obvious how Dean stayed in shape despite his, admittedly, horrible eating habits. He glided across the pitch like it was made of ice. Cas knew nothing about sports but he knew he was one impressive specimen, that was for sure.
After practice, they would always grab a bite to eat. Sometimes they were alone, other times, one of their friends joined. Oftentimes, it was Jo. Cas tried not to get jealous every time the two of them casually touched. He knew going into this that Dean probably didn’t go for men, and even if he did, clearly he and Jo were devoted to one another and Cas did not intend to be a homewrecker.
Dean:
It was after practice on Friday night and Dean was beat, even after the amazing waffles he’d just had at Westwood. If he was being honest with himself, the carbs were probably making him even more sleepy. Thank goodness Cas just wanted a simple night in playing video games. Dean could be down with that. Maybe Charlie or Garth would join them later.
After kicking off his cleats, he bent over to peel of his socks and shin guards and threw them in the corner of the room where his laundry bin was.
Cas wrinkled his nose as he put the game into his XBox 360. He’d been playing Dragon Age Inquisition on PS4 and this was the first time he’d booted the 360 up since he’d been rooming with Dean.
“You should have brought some of those car air fresheners with you, hang them by your stinky laundry.”
Dean chuckled and went over to retrieve his shin guards. “You’re no spring rose after a jog,” he told Cas before throwing the rancid object at him.
Cas ducked to avoid it. “Watch it,” he said, pointing a finger at him with false seriousness. “I will tell Charlie on you.”
“Is that a threat or a promise?” Dean asked, lifting up the other shin guard as if he was going to throw it.
“Do you want to watch me play Mass Effect or not?” Cas asked, sitting down on his banana chair and raising an eyebrow at Dean.
Dean rolled his eyes and took a seat next to Cas in his own gaming chair. He was more of a PC gamer himself and was glad Cas had brought along a television and a couple of consoles. Not knowing where to put them, the tv was sitting stacked on top of the mini fridge/microwave combo Dean rented and the consoles were stacked on top of the empty plastic milk crates Dean had packed his stuff in. It wasn’t pretty but it worked.
“Okay, what’s this game about?” Dean asked as the start menu loaded.
Cas pressed start and began creating his character.
“Uh, it’s a decision making sci-fi RPG. It has a bit of a Star Trek influence and is story based. There are more lines of dialogue than your average tv show. So, the gameplay is kinda… lacking, but it got a lot better by games two and three. Your decisions carry over from game to game as well as the friendships and romantic relationships.”
“Romantic relationships?”
“Yeah, you can sleep with members of your crew.”
“How very Kirk of you,” Dean observed with a chuckle.
Cas nodded as he focused on getting his character just right. “Yeah, they actually had a limited edition Mass Effect Cards Against Humanity pack. One of the cards was ‘fuckable aliens.’”
Dean snorted. “So, like blue chicks or something?”
“There are those,” Cas said as he chose his characters background and class. “But there’s also a few other human and alien options. More so in games two and three.”
“So, who can you fuck this game?”
“Well, since there’s no gay romance option in ME1 or I usually go for Liara - your typical hot blue alien chick - and then kind just roll the dice in Two,” he said with a chuckle. “But I’m pretty much just holding out for Kaiden in Three. Sometimes I’ll go for Cortez but-”
“Wait,” Dean said, swallowing hard. “You’re gay?”
“Um... “ Cas looked nervous. “My Commander Shepard is for sure.”
“No,” Dean shook his head, standing up quickly. “Are you?”
Cas looked down at his controller. He was still in character creation mode. “You went to a drag show. You’re friends with Charlie and Max… I didn’t think you’d have an issue with-”
Dean shook his head. No, if Cas were gay that would change everything. “It’s a yes or no question, Cas.”
Dean wasn’t sure why he was freaking out so much about this. Hell, he identified as bisexual so it wasn’t a homophobic response. But, nonetheless, the knowledge that Cas might be into him made him uneasy. Maybe it was because he was still so fixated on Max?
“You’re not forcing me out of the closet, Dean,” Cas said, looking up at him with fire in his eyes. “I don’t get what your issue is but-”
“Hey,” Dean said, kneeling down and putting his hand on the other man’s shoulder before he decided to smite him or something. “I’m just… going through my own shit. It has nothing to do with you.”
“So you don’t have an issue if I’m-”
“Not at all!” Dean said, squeezing his shoulder and looking him dead in the eyes. Those deep blue beautiful eyes. “I… It just came as a surprise, that’s all. I’m totally cool with it.” He shot him a charming smile. “I’m sorry, okay?”
“Okay…” Cas said tentatively before turning back to the tv.
To be continued...
http://archiveofourown.org/works/13196649/chapters/30569769
2 notes · View notes
theatricaldynamite · 7 years
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
C o s e t t e x J o h a n n a AU
For
@elviriel
I took our main baes and made an au of them where they end up together. 
Starring Devery Jacobs - Cosette Jasmine Cephas Jones- Johanna Barker Jason Momoa- Jean Valjean Gina Torres- Javert Mads Mikkelsen- Judge Turpin Laverne Cox- Benjamin Barker/Sweeney Todd 
Please remember that this is also a Sweeney Todd AU and Judge Turpin is gross.
Larks
Jean Valjean was once in jail.  He did it to feed his family, but that did not stop him from being put in jail for stealing a loaf of bread.  When he was released, his family had perished.  Starvation, it seemed.  Now that he was out of jail, finding good honest work was even harder which is why he changed his name using forged papers and the candlesticks a priest had given him to show him he could change his fate.
He changed his name, his background and his life and was now a successful business owner in a small town in France.  He maintained a low-profile life style which kept him safe for a while.  His former parole officer, it has seemed, has been trying to find him all these years.  When Javert showed up on his door step, Jean thought he was finished.  However, he didn’t seem to recognize him.  In fact, he wasn’t after him, but one of his workers, a young woman named Fantine.  She has been causing a ruckus regarding her daughter who was in foster care. The family looking after her had put in a formal complaint.
Fantine was desperate to get her daughter back so much that she was ignoring cancer treatments- not that she could afford them anyways. Her daughter, Euphrasie, had been taken away from her as she was so young, alone and sick when she gave birth to her.  Euphrasie, or Cosette as she called her, was her main motivation.  
When Jean Valjean heard her story, he was deeply moved and wanted to protect this young girl in the way he wasn’t able to protect his family.  She didn’t last long enough to hear these words from him, but it was long enough for Javert to recognize who he actually was.  He needed to move fast to get to Cosette
Cosette was raised by a number of different people in a number of different houses with nothing consistent in her life but her misery. She did not care for the different places she was put.  Her latest one was even worse than any house she’s been in.  She felt like Cinderella without a Fairy Godmother.  Tormented by the other foster kids and put to work by the guardians.  She was only eight years old but she knew how hard life can be.  
She had hopes; daydreams about her real mother. A castle on a cloud for just her and her mom.  She dreamt of her mother coming to pick her up and whisking her away to a happy life.
A mother never came, but a father did.
As the first snow fell of the season, Cosette was sent to get groceries in clothes that were too flimsy for the snow. She had ten dollars and a list that would not be covered by it.  It would be bad to steal.  It would be worse for her to not.  
“Excuse me,” she heard a deep voice behind her say. She turned to find a large man in nice clothes looking at her.  She wasn’t allowed to talk to strangers. Panicking, she ran.
“Wait,” he called.  “Is your name Euphrasie? Are you Cosette?”
She stopped so fast she fell to the ground.  He knew her name! He was at her side in an instant making sure she wasn’t hurt.  It’s been a long time since she’s seen kindness.
“I’m a friend of your mother.”  He told her.  He told her what happened to her and how he wanted to take care of her if she wanted. He warned her that it might be dangerous because he wouldn’t be able to legally adopt her.  People would think she was kidnapped and they would have to hide. A policewoman name Javert would always be looking for them.  Cosette considered it.  She wanted a new life, but danger scared her.
“Do it, lark” said the voice of her foster-sister Eponine coming out of her hiding spot calling her by the nickname they gave her. “Leave. Get out of this place and never look back. You’ll be more free out there than you would be here. Go be happy.”
“I thought you didn’t like me,” replied Cosette confused on why she was concerned about her happiness.
“I don’t,” she said. “ I knew you would get to leave one day and I would be stuck here forever.”
“You can come with us if you like as well,” piped up Jean.  “I would never leave someone unhappy behind.”
“You’re not kidnapping two kids in one day, mister!” said Eponine. “Besides, they are my real parents and got another baby on the way.  If I go with you, who’s gonna look after my sister and my little brother on his way. Just go.  I won’t tell anyone.  I saw nothin’.”
Cosette did something that she’s never done before.  She hugged her foster-sister.  It wasn’t a big hug, or a warm hug, or even a good hug but it did make Eponine smile. With that Cosette fled with a stranger into a happier life.
They hid in Paris.  Her new papa had friends who hid them away.  It was small but very comfortable. Cosette never knew such happiness.  How wonderful the world was now.  She had time to grow curious, to learn and to explore. Her papa told her if she smiled anymore than she does that she would burst. They stayed there for many years.  Everyday better than the last.
One day she came home to find that her father was packing them suitcases.  They were close to being found.  Javier was hot on their trail.  They needed to move fast in order to get away.  Jean offered her two option like he had done all of those years ago.  She could either stay here as she was almost of age to be on her own. He would give her everything, including his candlesticks.  The other option was to flee with him.  
Together, they went to London to once again make their life anew.
Cosette loved Paris, but London was nice too. It was much darker there and more rainy, but she made the most of it. She like the walks that they went on together. Skipping ahead and waiting for him to catch up. Offering food or money to the needy as they passed.
They were walking down a street that they never had walked through before as they tried to change up where they walked to.  Turney Lane. She felt eyes watching her. She looked up to find a pretty girl around her age looking at her.  Was she crying?  She fled as soon as they made eye contact. Cosette was no stranger to the look in her eyes.  She had that same look when she lived in her foster homes.
“Do you know who lives in there papa?” she asked, not really expecting him too.  He replied as she thought.
“Johanna,” said homeless woman who came up to her to beg for money.  She had seen this woman before. She believed it was on Fleet Street. Cosette tried to emit her into a hospital but she ran off before she could. Cosette felt that she was younger than what she looked.
“I’m sorry,” replied Jean putting money in her cup.  “What was that?”
“Johanna,” repeated the woman in her raspy voice. “Pretty little Johanna.  The witch locks her up in her high tower and brushes her hair.”
“Rapunzel,” offered Jean. The woman didn’t respond.
“Who is the witch?” asked Cosette.
“Judge Turpin that is, that is, that is the witch,” she replied excitedly. Jean paled at the title of Judge.  “Locks her up and throws away the key. Beats up boys who look at her.  Go in to say nice words comes out with a bloody eye.”  She laughed and ran off. She screamed the name again as she ran off. Johanna.  
Who was Johanna? Why was she locked in a tower?
~~~~~~~~
Sweeney Todd was born Benjamin Barker and a biological parent of Johanna who would have loved to raise her if given the chance. She was raised in New York and was a fantastic hair artist. Before she was fully transitioned, she came to London to apprentice a great barber.  While there, she fell in love with a Londoner with bright blonde hair named Lucy. They got married and soon Johanna came along. For a while, their life was perfect.
Lucy has always been in the same social circle as Judge Turpin and tried to avoid him as best as she could. Whenever they were at parties, she could feel his heated eyes follow her, even at age 13. When the judge found out that Lucy not only married transgendered woman, but a black one at that, he was outraged. He had the US citizen Benjamin Barker deported for marriage fraud and sent back to the states for life. Lucy was devastated. Her love was gone. Her income was depleting and she had a year old baby that should could hardly take care of.  After a horrific meeting with the judge to bring her partner back, she was found no longer fit to take care of her baby.  The judge swiftly came in and took the baby to raised her.
Johanna was raised in a quiet part of London.  One of her first memories was being six and getting her hair dyed blonde. Whenever she asked or complained about having to dye it, all her guardian would tell her is that “he prefered her blonde.”  
She was shut in, homeschool and never ventured outside of London.  She tried to run away, but he somehow always knew her plan.  It was almost like he was always watching her.  She felt like her pet lark.  Caged and unable to sing.  Larks never will, you know, when they are captive.
She was lectured about the evils of men. Warned to keep away from them.  That was fine with her.  She never cared for them much anyway.  
She noticed Cosette while gazing out her window on a gloomy fall day. Everything in her life seemed to be on a gray filter and it was the first sunshine she’s seen in years.  The sunshine practically floated as she danced along the sidewalk and her laugh rang through high and clear. She was walking with a big burly man whom she called Papa.  He seemed to dote on her. By the time the young ball of light noticed her, she was in tears. Making eye contact with her, she fled from the window unable to show her face to someone so pure.
She saw her again the next day. And the day after that. Both of these times it seemed like she was looking for her.  One the third day, she talked to her.
“Hello,” she had greeted her. Shouting from the street. Johanna knew the fates of the men who greeted her, but what of women?  Would the judge hurt her too? He was home today so who knew what he would do. Flustered, Johanna awkwardly waved and once again fled.
A few minutes later, the light was in her room. Her guardian introduced her as Fantine and she was there to teach her French.
“Thank you, Judge Turpin,” said Cosette.  “No off you go, we have work to do!”
No one shushes the judge. Yet she did and she got away with it.  And she was in her bedroom.
“Are you OK?” she whispered urgently as soon as he was out of earshot. “My papa, he’s downstairs, and I are concerned.” Whatever she was expecting it was not that. “I managed to convince that creepo to have me tutor you in French. Oh, my name isn’t Fantine, by the way. It’s Cosette. I didn’t think it was smart to give my name to the guy if I was going to kidnap you.”
“What?” was all Johanna could muster.
“The look in your eyes.  It reminds me of my life from before my papa saved me. So we came here to rescue the princess from her tower, if she wanted. Always need consent and permission to help.”
“I’m…” Johanna started.  Her reflex response was fine.  She was not fine.  She was terrible and trapped. She found herself telling this light everything because she knew she could trust her. Somehow, she knew that she was not a trap from the Judge.  “He watches me. Not just over me but through the walls.  He does it when I sleep or thinks I don’t know he’s there, but I know. I hear him.”
“Hear him doing what?” asked Cosette asked. Johanna shook her head unable to utter the words.  “Oh.”
“I’ll be eighteen soon, but I think..,” Johanna choked out determined not to cry with the Judge downstairs. “I think he’s going to try to marry me.  So, I’ll never be able to leave.”
“I’ll get you out of here. I promise you I will get you out.  If you are OK with the news thinking that you have been kidnapped then we can do it tomorrow if you want.” She was bright, too bright for Johanna.  Colors began to refill her room.  The walls were no longer gray but a deep blue. Her bird even hopped around excited.
“Can I bring my bird? It’s a lark.  I want to free her.” Cosette laughed looking at the bird nodding her head and confirming the lark can come too.  Johanna was getting adventurous now. “And I want to get a short hair cut.  Eventually, grow it out and never dye it blonde again.”
“Sure. I mean, yeah.  Whatever you want,” replied Cosette a little confused. “What would be the best day to break you free?”
“Monday, it’s his longest day! But, why are you doing this? Why are you helping me?”
“My real name is Euphrasie Tholomyès.  I was on the news as a foster care kid who was kidnapped. I wasn’t.  I ran away with a stranger because he knew my mom and it was the best decision of my life.” She grabbed Johanna’s hands. “I don’t know your mom, but I can do that for you, too.” They froze as a voice drifted from the first floor.  It was time for Cosette to leave.
“One more thing before I go and if you don’t like it, I’ll never do it again.” Before Johanna could even respond, she felt Cosette’s lips lightly touch hers. It was over as soon it is began but even more colors in the room started shining. Johanna found herself pulling the girl closer and kissing her as hard as she could feeling the rainbow shine though.  
Cosette left and kept true to her word. On Monday, she was free.  She had finally found her family. Little did she know that as she fled, her biological family returned.  
Sweeney Todd was back in London and she was going to get her revenge.
3 notes · View notes
pricebullington · 7 years
Text
Joshua Dildine Interview
The Joshua Dildine Interview is finally here. We take a deep dive into the duality of his work, the friction and synthesis between instinct and intellect. 
Cave paintings made of poop, sci-fi and spirituality along with the otherworldliness permeating through his oeuvre, are all explored as I probe to get a better understanding of what drives his mysterious, yet familiar, compositions. Read along to see how these seemingly paradoxical elements come together, as past, present and future merge.
Tumblr media
Joshua Dildine, Life Well Lit, 2012
PB: Hey Joshua, thank you for taking the time to do this. Your work is so viscerally powerful I feel like words almost become redundant, but in any case I've had a strong urge to talk to you to learn more about the dimensions you open up. One of the things that struck me when watching some of the interviews you've done, is how down to earth and level-headed your approach seems to be, in contrast to your works, which strikes me as being almost out of this world in terms of space and language. More often than not, I find the opposite to be true in a lot of artists, where the lucid descriptions of the work fall flat in comparison to the external reality of forms. In that sense I found it quite refreshing to see your humble approach, and it made me even more curious about your philosophy and how you approach art in a general sense.
It seems as though you came across your style, for lack of a better term, as we know it today in 2011. And I was wondering how your personal perception of it have changed and evolved in the past 6 years? I know it's a broad question, so feel free to highlight what you find most interesting and, or, surprising in the course of this development.
JD: I am really a pretty down-to-earth guy, despite what my paintings may say about me. Ive always been interested in creating atmosphere and depth in abstract painting. My personal perception has changed quite a bit ever since I started painting over photos in 2011. I started doing it as a somewhat sarcastic response to some criticism I had to my work prior to the photos; something about the work was not personal enough. So in a humorous effort to make it personal, I painted over a photo of my face. I continued to do this and started pulling from other family photos. I realized that there was an inherit power that the images had over me, as well the people that I was painting over. For example, when I pulled my parents engagement photo off the wall and painted over it, my mom was pissed. She initially didn’t realize that I’d scanned the original and reprinted it to paint over the copy, and even then was slightly disturbed by the act. There was a connection there that was more powerful that just a painted ground to work over. Another thing I realized at this time, was scribbling out the faces of my parents was not easy. In other words, my personal attachment to the subjects made it hard to scribble their image out. So in the earlier work, my intention was to deny the power of the image and use it as a visual armature from which to create my paintings.
As I continued to work through this process, the idea remained as an undertone, but not the main idea that pushed the work forward. I started to focus on the visual language that the photographs contained (depth of field, light source, lens flair, motion blur, color deterioration, color, atmosphere). I was using photographic means, and still do, to answer questions of abstraction (borrowing that idea from David Reed). In contrast, I set out to answer photographic questions through abstract means. I started embellishing elements of the photographs that would confuse the space. I was reading a lot of sci-fi, Orson Scott Card at the time, and had “antigravity” on the brain. Gravity has more power in photography than abstract painting, so in a way to deny those "powers" as well, I would switch the orientation to provide influence to the composition.
The word "defacement" got old and outdated pretty fast. I was no longer interested in that conversation. The gestures themselves could change the way we perceive the intention behind the act of painting over someone. If I took a thin brush, pen, or pencil and "scribbled" out the faces in fast lines, it reads aggressive and hostile. If I have a thick blob looking gesture it is a lighter color, done slowly, intentionally, it’s a less hostile read.
Tumblr media
Joshua Dildine, Rediscover Delicious Harmony, 2011
PB: The dangers of being pigeonholed is like a mine field when establishing your work, I guess, so it seems like a good idea to proactively avoid the traps that reveal themselves early on. Can you elaborate a bit on how you steered the evolution of your work in that regard?
JD: The way I view the power that images have changes with each image I choose. I couldn't say that to a white canvas. Using photographs as a ground has a multi-faceted advantage for me; there is an emotional response to the act, then there is the strictly visual challenge of being presented with questions to answer with paint. And now, there is a possessive point of pride that the subjects of the photographs have with the paintings. As if they were portraits. My siblings refer to a painting as their own, when it has an image of them underneath. “How many of Matt, or Taylor, or so-and-so are in this show?”, might be a conversation we have leading up to an exhibition.
At this point, I have been reevaluating what I've been doing and have discovered another aspect to interacting with the photos I had not expected. Over a year and half ago we moved to my hometown to take over my grandparents’ house. The act of moving into a house that you have a historical connection with, changing it and making it your own, in some ways is the same thing I have been doing to the photos. There were boxes and boxes of old family photos and slides when we moved in from generations beyond my memory, as well as some relics of furniture and trinkets. Using these to work from connects me to the people that owned them, but the fact that I’m living in the space provides little differentiation between my life and the work. I am constantly re-evaluating what makes my work so personal, and drawing from that.
Tumblr media
Joshua Dildine, Be First More Often, 2012
PB: I think it's very interesting that you discovered your style in such a serendipitous fashion, and then stuck with it and let it evolve from there on it's own terms. It can be quite hard to comprehend that it all happened on a lark, in a way, and yet now manifest itself in such a powerful and fully fledged way. I'm guessing the only way it could happen like that was because you were open to it, and then when you found it, you stuck with it because you recognized it's potential. For which I applaud you, by the way, because I think your work is brilliant.
Compliments aside, the reason I point this out, is because your work strikes me as being intuitive in many respects, as opposed to calculated, in the sense of you trusting your instincts and going with the flow. I remember seeing an interview you did, where you talked about how your son made some moves on one of your paintings one day while you were out of the studio, but instead of discarding it, you embraced it. I found that anecdote beautiful, but also telling in regards to your process. I think that's a delightful way to approach art, because it allows you to go beyond your own understanding and play with the chaos and randomness of the world in a constructive way. 
On that note I'd like to know more about your process, I imagine it can be a bit of a jigsaw puzzle to balance family life with your work as an artist sometimes. How does a perfect day in the studio look like to you? How do you approach the work, and what's your setup like?
JD: My work is a fine balance between spontaneity, intuition, structure, chaos/destruction, and reconstruction. My process is so wrapped up into the way I live my life; This goes back to how I want to keep the work as personal as possible. As a parent, you rely on spontaneity and intuition. For example, if you are getting ready to leave the house, and you realize that your toddler thought it was a good time to make cave paintings in his bedroom... with poop, you have to change plans, be spontaneous, clean it up, be late to where ever you are going, discipline, laugh, learn, and live on. I had the best intentions to leave the house, we eventually left the house, but our destination changed. Connecting poop murals back to my painting: I can have an agenda, I can have set parameters for where I want each piece to go. I am always open to a change of destination. Additionally, I do not think it is about using the photos as a constraint or a restriction on spontaneity. It is more like a play between structure and intuitive choice. The two ideas each have a place in my work, they both exist.  As a parent I've learned that situations like these can be multi facetted. Poop murals by a toddler is inappropriate but it can also be funny. They are both allowed to exist in this space. Intuition and structure are allowed to exist in the same space and do so beautifully. Each has influenced the other. The photos have changed and improved the way I paint abstraction just as, I hope, the paintings have improved the space of the photos.
With that said, a "perfect" day in the studio, is when the lawn is mowed, chores are done, bills are paid, all the studio prep-work has been done, and I have zero distractions. The day will start with a cup of coffee, end with a glass of wine. Sure this sounds like a "unicorn" of studio days and completely unrealistic now that I write it out . A great day doesn't have to be a perfect day. I have a lot of great days in the studio. Often those "great" days are realized in hindsight. The distractions from the kids, spontaneous lunch dates with my wife, my pin-striper neighbor stopping by and having painting discussions that are unrelated to art. But, great days must start with a cup of coffee and end with a glass of wine.
Tumblr media
Joshua’s studio, Installation view.
PB: I love it, and thank you for bringing back the nuance, as I realize now how limited the question I posed was. What I mean here, is that I posed it as an "either, or" when in fact, as you point out, it's more of a synthesis between instinct and intellect. Wine and coffee. 
I think it would be reckless of me not to get into the aesthetics of your work, now that we're talking. Your work is obviously coming from a very personal place, but when I look at it, it's more of a mystery, like a David Lynch movie. The look of the photographs you use as "backgrounds" send my mind back to film camera's from the 70s, while the strokes you use in the foreground, and the color combinations seems almost futuristic, or at least highly contemporary. It seems you're building on artists like Albert Ohlen and Gerhard Richter in terms of the handling of paint and layering in many ways. Can you talk a little bit about your influences in this area, and what the aesthetics of art means to you in terms of your own work?
JD: My inspiration changes all the time. I try to pull from visual resources that are personal, honest, and current to my state in life. I avidly study current and historic art as well as amateur and commercial artists. The Aesthetics of my pieces predominately respond, and are a departure from, the photographs. Photos from the 80’s with 70’s décor make for interesting color combinations to work with but I love that you picked up David Lynch. I was reading a lot of Frank Herbert and Orson Scott Card, and binge watching seasons of Dr. Who, back when I first started to work on the photographs. So naturally, I responded to that interest. I love the language used to illustrate alternative worlds and alternative space, basically any ideas that take you out of this world. 
I think what I find fascinating in science fiction are the familiar themes and vocabulary, that we know, jumbled and placed in a setting that makes us experience something new and unfamiliar. I view my work in a similar way. The painted gesture, to an abstract painting, acts very much like words in a story. Each mark represents different vocabulary. For that reason I am drawn to Albert Oehlen’s work. His work is very “articulate”, there is so much variety in the mark making. I attempt to make my works articulate; there are a lot of different styles of marks through-out each piece, and the result is an altered visual plane of the photograph and painting. Within my paintings, space will expand and collapse, and mass will solidify and vaporize. The way that people move paint fascinates me, and I often look in uncommon places, like seeing a spray paint artist make a space scene using just spray paint with magazine clippings as brushes. I learn a lot from my pin-striping neighbor who approaches painting from a very different perspective. Ultimately, I am a collector of photographs and a collector of visual vocabulary.
Tumblr media
Joshua Dildine, False May Minds, 2015
PB: That’s a great approach, because I think there’s a strong trap-like tendency within contemporary art, because of the rich history of art, to become insular and self-referential. The postmodern Ouroboros. I’m always more interested in the way life itself informs art, like poop murals, pin-striping neighbors, or that time Salvador Dali was sitting at a dinner table, watching a camembert cheese dissolve, which he then connected to Einsteins theory of relativity, and then proceeded to create his iconic painting The Persistence of Memory, portraying melting watches.
In my own work I often portray gold, which is one of the heaviest metals, floating in dreamlike spaces. That antigravitational friction, is something that is quite common in music and dreams. The idea of moving on another wavelength, in another dimension is something that speaks to me on a deep level, because of the transcendentalism it conjures up, and it seems that’s where our interest overlap. Just to tap this vein a little further before we wrap up this interview, I was wondering why you are attracted to this otherworldliness?
The reason I ask is because I’m very curious about the duality in your work of the personal (photography) and the interdimensionality inherent to the forms you introduce through your application of paint on the metaphorical / philosophical level.
JD: Thanks! That is a great question. You are the first to really tap in on that interdimensionality, but, it is definitely there. The sublime is not a new concept to be explored in art.  Many abstract painters in particular, recognize that there is something going on beyond them, in those moments lost in painting. The act of painting, for me, as controlled as I can be, has always been somewhat spiritual. I feel like I tap into something that is just out of my reach. Pairing this with the springboard of photographs adds a grounded element that really speaks to the past as a frozen moment in time. Painting feels like a movement outward, toward the future while the act of painting is very present. I am a Christian and I am a contemporary artist. These two identities don’t always seem to blend well in the world that I grew up in and I have, for a long time, wrestled to keep them somewhat separate. Yet, this parallel keeps popping up in my work. Perhaps that duality, inadvertently parallels the painting and photography elements in the work, and the success of the piece depends on the interaction of these two identities.
I am constantly reminded that I am apart of something much bigger than myself. Using photographs, like I said, is a powerful link to a sense of history and legacy. When I use old family photographs I feel a connection with the people in them and the spaces they inhabited. Just the other day, I was looking at old colored slide of my great grandfather, and I noticed that he had the same colored walls and the same type of stains, that could only be caused by a toddler, on those walls. It was profound to see the likeness in our facial features, but even more profound to see those stains on those walls. Yes, that is something subtle and abstract, but there is beauty in spending the time to observe and witness this.
I feel this link strongly as I am living in and remodeling my grandfather’s home. It feels like painting over photos at times, changing the space little bits at a time and thinking of what they might have when the original elements of the home where put in or changed along the way.
Since becoming a father, I have felt more connected to the future, how to foster the potential my children have to leave a positive impact. This is a different kind of legacy. These dualities of past, present and future as well as a physical grounding paired against that otherworldly sublime are the beautiful subtleties of life that I cannot help but see make their way into the work that I do. Not in a contrived way, but in a natural outpouring of reflected life.
Tumblr media
Joshua Dildine, The Games We Play, 2013
PB: I think that's a perfect way to end the interview Joshua, thank you so much for taking the time, as well as opening up. It's been a great pleasure learning more about the deeper levels of your practice. 
What are the best ways for me and the readers to stay updated on your work? And do you have any upcoming shows we need to know about?
JD: Thanks Price, It was my pleasure. I appreciated your read into the work that was so intuitive and probing to truly try to understand it at a deeper level. 
[email protected] and joshuadildine.com are the best ways to get a hold of, and keep track of me.
59 notes · View notes
sceawere · 7 years
Text
the keepsake | alfie solomons
@samascara requested a good old bag-of-flour baby test. 
i remember having a realcare baby in high school for my child dev class oh buddy oh pal
You stormed into the office and dropped the loose arm onto the desk in front of Alfie.
“I broke the baby and I can’t work out how to fix it”
“Oh, for fucks sake, darlin’”
“I don’t want to hear it, Alfie. Just fix the damn thing”
He moved his hands up to motion for you to pass him the doll’s body and you sighed, holding them out, dangling by their one remaining arm.
“That’s our child you’re talking about”
“It’s a fucking doll. One I’m going to beat you with”
“This is ridiculous”
“You’re telling me”
He moved his glasses to his nose, scowling at you. He looked down to squint at the doll, attempting to re-attach the arm to the socket. You hooked your foot around the leg of the chair and pulled it forward.
“What did you do?”
“Put it on the cabinet”
“How did that break the arm off?”
“It fell off the cabinet”
“Why was it on the cabinet?”
“I needed a piss, Alfie. Forgive me. How do people do this with a proper one hanging around? Do you just…not?”
“Wait ‘til they’re asleep”
“Oh no. Not happening. I wait for no man. ‘Specially not to piss. Girl’s gotta go when a girl’s gotta go. You remember the opera house kerfuffle”
Alfie flicked his eyes up to you, half smiling, while his hands worked at putting them back together.
“And you were worried it’d be me causing all the damage”
-
Alfie had been subtly (at least for him) and then not so subtly dropping hints he wanted to have a baby for months now. You were less enthused. You loved the idea of having a child with Alfie. But just as an idea. The reality would be much different. His line of work wasn’t exactly conducive to playing happy families and you were not so much concerned as outright terrified of what that would entail.
You knew others had children and did just fine, which was Alfie’s argument. It was a matter of planning and precautions. He’d never let you get hurt. He’d never let your child get hurt. 
But after you heard about the Shelby kid being taken as leverage it’d thrown ice right over any of the warming you’d taken to the thought. Alfie’s half serious suggestion had been practising having a baby. After your initial joke that you did enough practising as it was, he’d proposed something else.
“A doll?”
You slammed the knife down onto the chopping board, narrowly missing your finger in your shocked haste.
“Why not? What, we gonna snatch a kid for a few weeks? Be realistic, love”
“I could not physically roll my eyes as dramatically as I want to right now, without causing myself permanent damage”
“Give me one reason why we shouldn’t at least try?”
“A doll is nothing like a real kid”
“Exactly, ease yourself in”
“No-one’s going to kidnap a doll, Alfie. I can forget to feed a doll, I can-”
“I think baby’s cry pretty loud when you try to do that,” he made a movement with his hands that you assumed was demonstrating something, you just had no clue what “built in reminder”
“I am going to throw this potato at you”
“Why are you always so bloody violent?”
“Me?! Fucking me? You shot three men on Sunday while I weren’t here. Three”
“Well, that’s different. They deserved it”
“Oh, what a mature argument. I’m sure glad you’ll be our child’s main male role model. I’m not saying never, Alfie. I want kids with you, I just- it can’t be now. It can’t be until I’m sure they’d be safe”
-
When you woke up the next day there was a doll sat on the sofa, waiting for you.
“Oh…holy Jesus”
“Good morning, miss”
“What the fuck is that, Rose?”
“It’s…terrifying. Isn’t it?”
“Why is it staring at me?”
You toed your way over to it slowly, kneeling carefully in front of them. You swayed from side to side, the eyes following you. Shivers ran over you and you turned to Rose.
“This won’t do”
-
“What’s that?”
“It’s our child, Alfred”
“It’s…right”
“Yes. The one you left was putting the girls off and also, quite frankly, warding about demons most probably. So, I decided to do what any responsible mother would do. I swapped it for a better looking model”
“Right. I was actually mostly joking about the doll thing. Hence the creepy one”
“Oh no, Alfie. No, no, no. You wanted to trial being parents, that’s what we’re going to do”
“Right, so you’re punishing me for being an idiot, then?”
“Oh, yes”
“Right”
He leaned his cane against the desk, taking his coat off and draping it over the back of his chair, where the doll sat.
“And since I’m recovering from the shock of so suddenly becoming a mother, I think it’s only fair you take over the caring duties for this evening”
You stood and began to walk out of the room.
“We gonna name this thing?”
“That thing is our child, Alfie. Please don’t be so irreverent”
“Fucking hell. What have I done this time?”
-
“Little shit was in the barrels again”
You scoffed a laugh, reaching out to take the doll off the worker.
“Thanks, honey”
He shook his head as he walked away and the image of a tiny gruff old man in an apron walking towards you with a doll under his arm replayed in your head.
“What were they doing in the barrels?”
“I left Ollie as a babysitter. Blame him. I’m trying to test out our support network and obviously, it is lacking. New parents need to feel supported and know they have trusted people to rely on, Alfie, it’s an emotional and draining time”
“Fucking hell”
You smiled watching Alfie walk back into the office, bringing the doll up to cuddle it to your chest. You were becoming weirdly attached to this thing and definitely enjoying yourself.
“Don’t worry, Little Shit, daddy isn’t angry at you”
-
“Did you really take Little Shit on a run with you?”
“I’m teaching them how to run a business. Setting them up in life, it’s what a responsible father would do”
“I hope you left them in the car, Alfie. Bullets in your children are usually frowned upon. Although – did you leave them unattended? Also not a good choice”
“They did well, didn’t make a peep, and they didn’t drink none of the merchandise. I’m proud of them”
“I’m frankly worried about how seriously you’re taking this”
“Says the woman who’s rocking them on their hip right now”
You stilled, turning your head down to see where they were perched and quickly cleared your throat.
“Right, that was subconscious though, it’s an instinct thing. Yours was…all you, mister”
-
They’d come to be known affectionately as ‘little shit’, in the absence of a real name.
They’d also been forgotten in Alfie’s car until you’d bolted out of bed in the middle of a rainstorm to retrieve them.
Also, been stolen by the dog and hidden behind the cabinet.
Then, retrieved and placed in the cabinet by a new servant who wasn’t in on the joke.
They’d had to be bathed in a bucket very carefully when Ollie’s niece had insisted on taking them to Hebrew school with her and accidently dropped them in a muddy puddle.
You’d gotten weird looks from the old ladies when you’d turned up to church with a doll in their Sunday best and plonked them on your knee, even though you had brought no children with you, and quite frankly, didn’t care to explain to them what exactly was happening.
Said Sunday best had been made by the previously mentioned niece, who had fashioned a number of increasingly adorable outfits. Your favourite piece though was the tiny piece of wrapped wire that resembled Alfie’s glasses.
Alfie did not appreciate the unsettling site of a doll dressed to resemble him being sat in his place at the dinner table when he got home.
Little shit had also had outings to the shops (in Rose’s basket), the park (bundled in your coat), and to the factory – where they had become the subject of a factory-wide game in which the workers tried to out-do each other in hiding them for the longest period of time. Watching your gangster husband call a meeting to give grown men a dressing down about stealing his doll was honestly a highlight of your relationship. And really, your life, if you were honest.
And now, they had been dropped off a cabinet and had their arm roll out of the socket.
All in all, you thought you were doing a pretty good job at this mothering lark.
-
“What you doing?”
Alfie wrapped his arms around your waist and dropped a kiss to your shoulder.
“I’m packing away the poor thing. Time to put them out of their misery”
“Had enough?”
“Hmm…for now. Don’t want to do any significant damage to them until junior can get their hands on and have a go themselves”
“What the hell are you talking about, missus?”
You turned in his arms and linked yours behind his neck.
“One day this is going to make a really good story for them, so I thought I’d keep them. As a keepsake”
“You…what are…?”
You laughed at his furrowed brow and confused look.
“I’m saying…let’s have a baby, Alfie”
His face didn’t change for a solid minute and you were becoming increasingly worried you’d broken the man. It was only when he grabbed your cheeks and pulled you in to meet his lips that your fears allayed.
“Honestly? I’m not pressuring you. I’m really not, if it’s not what you want, I won’t-“
“Alfie, shut up”
“Alright”
You laughed again, flicking your eyes between his.
“Are you going to cry?”
“No. No. Maybe”
He moved forward again and you smiled against his lips.
“Mmm…listen-“
“What changed your mind?”
“You did”
“I-right. Well. What exactly did I do?”
“You showed me…how patient you are. When you want to be. And how fucking hard you work for us.
And how much you don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks of you, that you’re going to take this seriously and do what needs to be done – even if it does mean looking a bit of a div in front of your men.
Watching you sit with Ollie’s niece and humour her, how you treated her was…proof alone.
But, also, if I drop the baby off a counter, you’ll be able to put their joints back in and really…what else do I need you for?”
He rolled his eyes at your joking final point but then dropped his forehead to rest against yours.
“We’re not calling the real baby ‘little shit’. I’m putting my foot down on that one”
“But not the dropping it off counters part? Really, Alfie?”
@collecting-stories
@james-k-delaney
@thebakerstreetdragon
@ateliefloresdaprimavera
@weirdnewbie
@bloode-money
@photograiphy-00
@james-kezia-delaney
141 notes · View notes
kpopfanfictrash · 7 years
Text
Addewid
Author: kpopfanfictrash
Pairing: You / Kai (Jongin)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5,137
Summary: “You cannot appeal to my better nature, for I have none. I am not human, little one.”
You’ve always known you were different. You’re able to see them, after all, able to see the Others. You’ve also always ignored them. Until the day comes where you’re forced to make a choice - one that throws your world into chaos. And sends you down a path you might never return from.
Tumblr media
I - The Promise
Most people grow up thinking they’re different. One of humanity’s greatest fallacies is that each person believes himself an outsider when the truth is, each man is an island. Each man is alone. Each man is different and so, every man is the same.
Except for me.
I’m different because I see them. Everyone in my family can – so really, just my dad and I. We’ve lived our whole lives this way, isolating ourselves in the city because of it. We surround ourselves with the hum of iron and rust and steel. Though these might not kill them, the others fear them. Manmade technology depletes their power and without their magic, they’re little more than human.
When I was younger I saw them more often. Maybe because I was curious, maybe because there were more of them back then – I’m not sure. Even in the city they found me, waving in the park or sliding through water beneath my feet. Nature can be found anywhere, even when man begs it not to be. 
The Fey were never threatening, despite the fact that I could see them. Mostly they kept to their side of things, displaying little desire to entangle in our mundane human lives. 
I don’t know whether this was out of self-preservation or not. Perhaps they saw us so far beneath them, we weren’t worth their time. It’d be like if I saw a nest of ants off the sidewalk. I could go out of my way to step on them – but why would I? The fey are much the same, keeping to themselves and pretending we don’t exist. Much as I pretend I can’t see them.
It’s easier this way. This way, I don’t let things slip. People tend to react poorly when one sees things they can’t. It only takes a few instances of being called crazy before you learn to blend in. One can convince oneself of anything, if one tires hard enough. It soon became second nature to assume the whispering shadows were the wind. To think the buzz of wings was hummingbirds and the eyes beneath the overpass were raccoons.
I’ve gotten fairly good at pretending. Most children play make-believe. Mmost children think they see monsters. I’m no different. I’m not special.
It’s strange how this phrase which seems to terrify most has become my mantra.
Still, despite this, I know they’re there. They appear when I let my guard down, just when I think I’m safe. It’s like they have a radar, as though they don’t want me to forget them.
The past year has gotten worse. Ever since my father moved us out of the city and into this boondock town of Point Park. A nondescript name for a nondescript place. Dad says it’s for research purposes but honestly, any research having to do with his latest project I don’t want to know about.
My father is a professor, a man of arts and humanities. It’s hard for anyone like us to be scientists, since we’re burdened with the knowledge that those truly fantastical elements of myth and lore are real. They exist, they’re real and it’s maddening to argue otherwise.
Some have gone mad. Like my uncle. His death certificate reads drowning but my dad and I know better. He could swim, was on the swim team all through high school. No, his death was textbook will ‘o’ the wisp. The fact that he let himself be led astray meant he was long gone by the time that fairy found him.
My mother left when she found out.
Before I was born my dad covered his gifts fairly well. He was social, able to play off of most of his unusual circumstances as larks. Pranks. Whimsical stories from his childhood, research for his next book.
Once I started to see the creatures too, my mother grew wary. She began to watch. And when she finally understood her daughter was entrenched in the same maddening world as her husband, she grasped the truth of things: we were crazy.
And so she left, not caring if I succumbed to my madness or not. Not caring that when I woke in the middle of the night, screaming her name, there would be no one there. It explains why I’m so close to my dad. He’s been the only one to care for me, the only one who ever understood. 
“Morning, sweetie.”
The smell of pancakes greets me as I enter the kitchen, accompanied by the sizzling sounds of bacon. My dad faces away, flipping stacks over one at a time on the stove.
“Morning.” I pull out a chair, dumping my backpack on the ground. “Pancakes?”
“And bacon.” He flips the pan. “For energy. Can’t have you falling asleep in class.”
“Right. However would Finance 101 survive?”
Finance 101, the bane of my existence. Currently I’m enrolled at the local community college, taking classes while helping out my dad’s bookstore. The classes are boring and teachers not worth their salt – but my dad absolutely refuses to let me help full-time without a college degree.
Turning from the stove, he dumps a stack of pancakes onto my plate. “Eat up, kid.”
“I’m not a kid,” I grumble as I tie a napkin around my neck. “See, look! I tied the napkin myself this time.”
“At this rate you’ll be tying your shoes by end of next week!”
“From your mouth to God’s ears.” I shovel a large bite of pancake into my mouth. “Oh my god. This is so good.”
Taking his usual seat, my dad cuts off a smaller piece. “Wow. Am I an excellent cook or what?”
“Or what.”
He snorts, prompting laughter from my end of the table. My dad is young compared to most parents of kids my age. So was my mom. Which is why my dad often says her leaving was inevitable. She was young, flighty and not ready for kids. That’s a much easier explanation than, we’re freaks and she hated that.
I let my fork clatter to the table. “You need to stop feeding me like this. I’ll be ten thousand pounds and then I’ll never learn to tie my shoes.”
“Run around the block a few times, you’ll live.”
His words prompt me to glance out the window, something I immediately wish I hadn’t. As soon as I look, something small and agile darts out of sight. Small, agile – and electric blue. The kind of color not easily found in nature. I look back. My dad is still eating happily, not having noticed. This kind of thing has been happening more and more lately, ever since we moved. Ever since my dad’s latest project.
From the start I told him it was an awful idea. A complete anthology of the Fey people: stories, legends, facts and figures. For most people the book is a fantasy, one of those odd compilations of Faery and myth. 
Most people would be wrong. Dad’s idea is to make the first true anthology of the Fey. All he sees and knows will be immortalized in print. Which to me, sounds like a terrible idea. Better not to draw attention, better to stay firmly entrenched in the human world. The Other is dangerous; a place where dreams tinge reality and nightmares garnish both.
My dad stands, draining the last of his coffee. “I’ll be closing late tonight.”
“Oh, really?” I grab his plate before he can, moving both towards the sink.
“More work.” He sounds excited at the thought. “So many things I’m discovering, Y/N.”
“Like?”
“Like how upper levels of Fey use deals as currency.” Though I can’t see him, I know his eyes are shining the way they do whenever he talks about the Fey. “There’s money, sure but a promise is considered more valuable. They call it Addewid and it’s unbreakable. In some courts a Knight can only trade on promises. He actually cannot break his word. Wild, right?”
I shove open the dishwasher. “Wild, right. Why do I care?”
“Great question!” My dad, ever the professor, dips into his lecture voice as I try not to roll my eyes. “Imagine you’re walking and you come across a broken bridge. A fairy says he’ll take you across – what do you do?”
“Turn around and go home.”
He snorts. “Or you could offer them something. An answer to a question, perhaps. A name. Something in return for your safe passage over the river.”
I pause, considering before turning to cross my arms. “What about once you get to the other side? You just offered a hobgoblin the name of your firstborn and suddenly you have no guarantee of your safety after.”
My dad purses his lips. “See, this is why I say you’re the smartest in the family. It’s not to hype your ego, you need none of that.”
I smile, leaning on the kitchen counter. “No, dad. I’m just a realist who doesn’t mess with the Fey.”
“Like I said, smarter than I am. And before you ask – no, that doesn’t mean I’ll stop.”
“But why?” I laugh despite myself. “The Fey have only brought pain. It’s dangerous what you’re doing and I just don’t understand why you’d provoke them ”
“Because.” My dad is silent and I think maybe he’s forgotten the question until his bespectacled eyes meet mine. “I feel something is brewing, Y/N.” At his words, a chill travels my spine. “Something big. And if something were to ever happen, I’d like to think you had a fighting chance.”
His words give me pause. The steady drip of water the only noise in otherwise silence. But it’s more than just that – there’s a pause in the air, one I’ve been trying to ignore for a while now. It’s as though the world is holding its breath, waiting. My dad’s words push this into view, making it obvious. I’ve been shoving things aside for so long it’s hard to open up again. Hard to see again.
But for just a second, I do. And it terrifies me.
Then I blink, and the moment is gone. “You’re being dramatic,” I say, attempting a smile as I grab coffee and silverware from the table. “The Fey exist but they don’t bother us. There’s no reason to pretend otherwise.”
“Maybe.” 
He looks like he wants to say more but he doesn’t and I shut the dishwasher with a snap. “What time will you be done tonight?”
Living in the middle of nowhere means we only have one car. It’s not like there’s anywhere I need to go anyways. Every morning I drop off my dad at wrok and every night I hang at his bookstore until it’s time to go home. I don’t really have outside friends and there’s no other family nearby.
“Mm. Ten.”
“Dad!”
“Fine, 9:30.”
I groan but don’t argue. Getting my dad to agree to earlier would be a miracle in itself. He’s single-minded, oftentimes to his own detriment. Much like someone else in our family – cough, cough.
“Okay, 9:30.”
“Thanks kid-o, you’re the best.” Kissing my brow, my dad ignores my fake shudder. “To the shop?”
As we leave, I tug my ball cap lower. My dad likes to joke that I often dress like an eighteen year old boy. If said boy were a bit gothic and into sports. Take today’s outfit: black hoodie, leather jacket, skinny jeans and boots, all topped with a black baseball hat. There’s a pink key ring on my belt though. Can’t be too monochromatic.
It doesn’t faze my dad at this point. “Hope the classroom isn’t too hot,” is all he says as he walks past. I scowl, my not-so-subtle attempt at intimidation. My dad just grins – he’s used to all my tricks by now. 
He always jokes that it would take a much braver man than most to approach me. I’m never that amused by this, since so far I’ve had zero luck in romantic interests. No one has caught my fancy, turned my head, left me wanting.
It’s enough to make me wonder if there’s something’s wrong with me.
“Ah, don’t worry.” My dad brushes aside my concern whenever I bring it up. “There wasn’t another woman in the world for your grandpa. Even before they met, he knew he was waiting for someone. You’re the same.”
Of course now we live in the middle of nowhere. It seems unlikely I’ll find this mysterious someone here in Point Park.
Our car’s engine thrums to life beneath me as my dad continues to talk, rambling about something else in his research. I’m distracted by movement at the corner of my eye and against all better judgment, I look. Just the barest of shadow, something tall and thin slipping into the forest.
“Y/N!”
Sometime in the past few seconds, I stepped on the gas. My dad yells, leaping forward to pull the key from the ignition. I yank my foot from the pedal, though it doesn’t matter much by this point. We’ve rolled to stop an inch from our house, my father breathing hard in the passenger’s seat.
He straightens, glaring over the top of his glasses. “What was that!”
Rather than answer, my gaze moves to the forest. There’s nothing there. No shadow, nor shadow-like object. Just the large, empty swath of trees. Something my dad thought would be a good thing when we bought this house. Isolation has always boded well for us. Now I’m beginning to wonder if perhaps this was the wrong way to think about things.
“I’m so sorry,” I mumble, blinking at my dad with puppy-dog eyes.
He sighs, rubbing his forehead. “Well, that’s one way to wake up I guess.”
“Tomorrow I won’t skip the coffee,” I promise, sliding the car into reverse. Slinging one arm over the backseat to pull from the driveway. As we round a corner, I take one last look towards the edge of our property. Nothing.
The rest of the drive passes uneventfully, much like the rest of my day. My classes are long and boring. The other students there are only half present, going through motions of taking notes while really considering what color to dye their hair next. What text to send to that boy they kissed that one time at that one bar. What outfit to wear to their next, boring class.
Small surprise I talk to no one. More accurately – no one talks to me. I’m that weird girl, that maybe-mute girl, that she-would-be-hot-if-she-weren’t-so-terrifying girl. All of these are things I’ve overheard about myself.
To the guy who said that last comment, I didn’t respond – just bared my teeth. He left, unsurprisingly. These are the things that make my dad say I’m anti-social. Grinning, I duck my head and stand from my table. There’s a slight overhang, so the ducking of my head part is necessary. Even at my height, perpetually short.
It’s raining as I drive to the bookstore, a slow mist that turns to raindrops the closer I get. I squint through the deluge, slowing so that my headlights cut through the fog. “Just a little bit… further.”
I scream when something large and heavy thwacks my windshield. Seeing that it’s just a branch I clutch at my heart, breathing hard as I allow my pulse to settle. Nervous laughter leaves my lips as I turn the radio up. 
There’s nothing to be afraid of. Nothing.
Still, I walk a little faster entering the store. I feel as though there are eyes watching, which is probably just my imagination but by the time I’m at the door I’m borderline running. My dad jumps as I enter, slamming the glass door behind me.
“Y/N!” He eases from behind the counter. “What’s wrong?”
Pushing my sopping hair back, I peer into the gloom. “Nothing.” I sigh shrugging free from my jacket. “Just spooked.”
“Mm.” My dad looks past to the unleashing monsoon. “Understandable. It looks like the wrath of Maeve herself out there.”
“Not funny,” I scold, collapsing into my usual chair. “Though shalt not speak her name in vain.”
“Too true. She’s not one to be trifled with.”
I stare at the open page of my calculus book, trying to think of something besides Maeve. The eternal dark Queen of Faery, who rules over the Unseelie court. I’ve never seen her. If I had, I’d be dead – at least, that’s what the rumors say.
I’ve actually never seen a noble fairy at all.
The noble Fey are the ones my father spoke of at breakfast. They’re the ones dealing in trades and promises, the ones that look most like us. The only Fey I’ve seen are animalistic beasts, answering to various factions of Seelie and Unseelie Lords. 
Pixies are the most familiar looking. Sprightly, small and if you look too closely, they’re blurred around the edges. It’s because they’re made of light - but don’t let that fool you, they’re devilishly tricky. Pixies are just as likely to lead you astray as not. If it wasn’t a will ‘o’ the wisp that killed my uncle, it was definitely a pixie.
Will ‘o’ the wisps are funnier-looking. Like little old men, or what some people think of as trolls. Tree stumps come to life, which is what I thought they looked like when I was little. Their skin is bark, all leathery and wrinkled with tan-colored moss. They’re mean as hell. Pixies at least have their good days but will ‘o’ the wisps lumber about, beckoning weary travelers onward.
Until they step off a cliff. And then that’s that.
All of this is pittance though, compared to Maeve. Her legend precedes her in hushed tones. As opposed to the King and Queen of Seelie, the rulers of the Summer Court - Maeve rules her lands with darkness and ice. Her court is friendly to neither Fey nor Mankind. The Unseelie is the stuff of nightmares, reigned by things that go bump in the night.
Legend has it Maeve’s ire can be called just from speaking her name out loud. My dad dismissed this in his research though, calling it an actual superstition. Still, one can never be too careful.
I resume reading, curled up in my chair as rain pelts our windows. The light fades as sun sinks below the horizon and soon the shop is a lone oasis of warmth in the dark. Around nine, I set my homework aside. “I need a new book.”
My dad doesn’t look up, giving a quick thumbs up and a wave. I weave towards the back of the shop, hands trailing over titles. Leather bound, paper bound, hard cover, soft cover. One of the best parts of moving to this nowhere town is that we currently hold the monopoly on books.
In the city everyone buys from Amazon or Barnes and Noble but out here there’s no guarantee anything will arrive before next month. Or that you’ll even get the right thing when it does. Mailmen are easily confused by the winding roads and unnamed streets. As a result, Dad’s bookstore has held fairly steady business ever since our arrival.
I’m reading the dust jacket of a morose-looking fiction when the lights go out.
“Fuck,” I sigh. At least it’s not completely dark – the lights from the street are still on, filtering through the rain and windowpanes. “Dad?” I retrace my steps. “Dad, where’s the generator?”
When I reach the front of the shop, my feet freeze in place. One emergency light flickers over my dad, casting his profile in shadow. All I can see from here is the overly stern set of his mouth.
“Daughter.” His voice is calm, firm. “Get out.” He doesn’t meet my eyes, too engrossed by whatever’s at our threshold. 
Before I can move the thing steps inside, shutting the door softly. The motion is menacing without meaning to be, terrifying in its casualness. His features aren’t visible, but there’s something ethereal in the way he moves. Ghostly, regal, without a sound.
When he steps into the light, I choke back my gasp.
His eyes sweep over me. Cold, dark, calculating. One could lose themselves in those eyes. A chill creeps down my spine as I consider the notion that people likely have. That’s not the most terrifying part, though. The long ears just visible through silvery hair are pointed. 
He’s Fey. Of a kind I’ve never seen before.
The stranger is dressed all in black, his clothing a weird mix of formal and armor. A sword hangs from his hip, sharp and wicked looking in the twilight. Around his neck gleams a smooth, silver collar. Metal, from the looks of it.
The stranger smiles, though the rest of his face doesn’t move. “James Tyson?”
“That’s me.” 
I have to give it to my father, he doesn’t flinch. Instead he stands tall, determined not to show weakness. Beneath the counter his hands tremble, though. I watch his fingers twitch towards the phone.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” The thing tilts its head, looking more Fey than before. “The power is out. There’s been a sudden cold snap and your lines have frozen over.” With a flick of his wrist, ice encrusts our doorknob.
My father sucks in a breath, wonder obvious. I want to strangle him for that look. He needs to get a grip. This is our time to escape, not gape in awe at some pretty demon.
The thing faces me. “This one has violence in her,” he comments, tilting it’s head. “Interesting.”
My gaze narrows. I don’t like the way he’s looking at me, as though I’m a snack or a toy and he hasn’t yet decided which. “Why are you here?”
“Questions, from a human.” The stranger’s lip twitches, amused. “I have a few questions of my own. For him.” 
“Then ask them of me.” My father’s face remains calm though beneath the counter his fingers move. I realize he’s tracing something - over and over again, though I can’t make out what.
“Why did you speak Maeve’s name?”
My father stiffens, clearly not expecting that. “H–how did you know?”
The thing smiles. “It seems you’ve gotten quite a few things wrong in that anthology of yours.”
“You know?” My father’s eyes widen. “About my anthology?”
“Yes.” His lip curls. “Detestable piece of rubbish it is.”
Without quite meaning to, I laugh. “Except it’s not, is it?” As soon as the words escape my mouth, I wince. The stranger turns, disdain evident on his beautiful face. His incredibly lovely, heart-breakingly beautiful face.
The fairy tilts its head. “Pardon?”
My father closes his eyes when I take a shaky step forward. His fingers resume tracing with greater urgency but I ignore him, focusing instead on this creature. I can distract him long enough for my dad run, long enough for him to get away.
“If my dad’s book is so rubbish,” I say, lifting my chin. “Then why are you here?”
The fairy blinks. “It would seem as though you are the more intelligent of the two.”
Recognizing my father’s words, I recoil. “Have you been… spying on us?”
“Spying?” The thing’s hand comes to rest on the pommel of his sword. “I would be quiet, little one. My orders are not to take you away.”
That’s the moment when I realize what my dad has been tracing. Over and over on the counter.
Run. Run, run, run, run, run, run.
For a moment, I consider. For just a second, cowardice wins and I want nothing more than to be at home – safe and hidden by blankets and denial. Then I come to. What home? Without my father, I have nothing.
My father sighs, recognizing my expression. It’s the expression I get when I’ve decided not to listen to a word he says. 
“So you’ve come to take me away?” My father’s face is that of a man struggling to remain calm while his world crashes down around him.
“Yes.”
“You’ve come to take only me away.”
“Yes.” The stranger nods. “Those are my orders.”
“But why?” Two pairs of eyes turn, as I’m unable to keep my mouth shut. “You just said yourself – my dad’s anthology is the problem. Why can’t he just stop writing and you leave us alone?”
“I’m afraid that won’t do.” Strangely enough, there’s a glimmer of sincerity in the thing’s eyes. “Your father knows things that cannot be divulged.”
“Then make him forget!” I snap. “Take the book! Take his memories but please,” my voice breaks on the word. “Don’t take my father. He’s all I have.”
There’s a long beat of silence before he speaks again. 
“What do I care what you have and have not?” The thing’s voice is soft, unyielding. He walks forward and his stride brings him close enough to touch – close enough to see every eyelash on his skin, the midnight black of his irises. “You cannot appeal to my better nature, for I have none. I am not human, little one.”
His stare bores into mine and it’s all I can do to keep from flinching.
“Enough.” My dad steps from behind the counter. “I will go with you, so long as you promise to leave my daughter unharmed.”
The male lifts his gaze. “Hm. And what would you offer in exchange for this promise?”
My eyes dart to my father’s. No – he can’t do this. He can’t leave me.
“My anthology.” My father shoves his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “I will give my anthology, follow you and never return. For the rest of my days, I will reside in Faery and not try to escape. What I have learned will die with me.”
A smile curves the thing’s lips. “It seems we have reached an accord.”
“No!” Before I know what I’m doing, I’m between them. “Please no,” I gasp, a hiccup forced from my throat.
My father turns to me and strangely enough, the stranger lets him. He does nothing to intervene when my father embraces me. “I love you,” my dad whispers. “Please stay safe.” Then he pulls away.
I nod, tears finally spilling down my cheeks. As much as I want to hear him say my name, want to hear him say goodbye – I know he’s only doing this for my protection. The fairy doesn’t yet know my name, which means I can still escape. I can still be free.
The stranger steps aside as my father passes. At the door of our shop he stops, hovering a moment before turning to face me. “Goodnight, nameless daughter.” His gaze is dark, unfathomable as he leaves.
I watch them go, watch my father disappear into the night. His body is so small and pale. I imagine what the rest of his life will be like as a prisoner of Faery. Living amongst strangers and terrors until one day he eventually dies of old age. Unless of course something kills him first.
My chest constricts and before I know what I’m doing, I’ve stumbled forward. “Wait!” 
Slowly, the fairy stops. 
My voice drops to a whisper. “You like making deals?” I watch him exhale, slowly. 
“What do you want from me, little human?” Though he doesn’t move, I hear each word with perfect clarity. “I’ve already spared your life once today.”
“Take me instead.”
At this, his body stills. “What?”
It’s the first time it’s sounded unsure of anything, so I press on. “Take me in his place,” I say, staring at his motionless back. “Release him and take me, under the same terms.”
A long silence follows. 
“Now why would I do that?”
“Because.” I steel myself for this next part, closing my eyes. “If you take me, you’ll have collateral. With me, you can be sure my father won’t tell. Whereas if you leave now, I’ll continue where he left off. I won’t stop until I discover every Fey secret. Until you’re all dead and my father returns.”
At last, the thing turns. Silence falls, heavy between us. And then the fairy laughs, a soft noise that stirs the base of my spine. My father’s arm falls from his grasp. “And if I say no?” His eyes glimmer. “I could kill you and take your father to Maeve anyways. What’s to stop me from doing that?”
Though his words give me pause, my gaze remains steady. “You won’t.”
“Won’t I?”
“No.“ I stare back at him. 
As he holds my gaze, something in his expression changes. I could be imagining things, but something almost delicate crosses his face. It disappears quickly though, leaving him as cold and distant as before. 
He raises his chin. “We have a deal.”
“We – do?”
The stranger smiles, bowing in a low, sweeping gesture. “I, Prince Kai of the Unseelie Court, accept your terms.” 
At his words, a shiver crosses my spine. One that has nothing to do with the temperature and everything to do with the ancient bond that has just settled into place. Addewid.  
Prince Kai nods, satisfied. “It is done.” 
When his hand closes around my wrist, I flinch. Only because of the cold though – his touch is surprisingly gentle. Behind him, my father sags against the door.
“You can’t.” He stares in horror. “What of our deal, fairy? What honor do you –?”
Kai whirls, gaze like ice as my father is dragged across the room. “Do not question my honor, human.” His whisper is somehow more terrifying than if he’d yelled. Kai examines my father hanging from the edge of his fingertip. “I’ve made a deal with your daughter. Do you wish me to renege upon my word?”
My father draws a deep, shuddering breath. “No.” The word comes out defeated and for just a second, I wonder if I’ve doomed him more than saved him.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I’m so, so sorry.”
My dad makes eye contact with me, shaking his head. “It’s not your fault.” He attempts to reach for my hand but I’m already being led away.
“Walk,” Kai commands, turning.  
I obey. Refuse to look back for fear I won’t leave. The door shuts behind us, stifling the sounds of the shop inside. The night air is cold, unusually so. Typically even in winter, there’s life. Birds calling, animals moving, insects rustling.
This though… this is the absence of anything familiar.
My gaze falls on the silent fairy next to me, wondering whom exactly I’ve made a deal with.
As we step into the forest, shadows wrap themselves around us like branches and my breath catches. The enormity of what I’ve done crashes over me and I find it hard to stand.
I’ve just sold myself to the Unseelie court.
There’s not much time to think about this though, as the land of nightmares swallows me whole.    
[Master List]
Author’s Note: So this was pretty long, huh? Sorry! Haha I just wanted to take a moment to explain the title. Addewid means Promise in Welsh. A lot of Fairy folklore is from Ireland, Wales and England, so some of the words in Faery reflect that. Anyways, I’m very excited about this. Can’t wait to update more :)  
Playlist: Monster (Instrumental), EXO / Frozen Oceans, Shiny Toy Guns / Gravity, Sara Barellies / Three Wishes, The Pierces / I Of The Storm, Of Monsters and Men / Fantasy (Instrumental), VIXX 
609 notes · View notes
pheonix-sassafras · 4 years
Text
Subject: Aiden Memory: #31520
Aiden looked to the older redhaired Italian, both leaning back against the wooden wall waiting for their parents to get out of another meeting. The girl looked over to him and laughed softly. 
“What?” He crosses his arms.
“You look so damned grouchy.”
“The groups were supposed to behave, now Grandpa and all them have to deal with this bullshit attack on Duncan of all people. This isn’t right, Ma can’t go back to fighting, neither can your father.” 
Ava’s look softened slightly. “I know you didn’t grow up dealing with this side of it, but this is better than it used to be. Your ma and Jack will be just fine, no one is going to go fighting anyone yet. Most of them are dead by Ducan’s sword anyway. Your Ma only is in there to make sure he is healing right. It’s a politics thing.”
“That is bullshit and you know it. They agreed to stand down and stop the war. They aren’t. When grandpa, Marcus, and Ma die, they will just start right back at what they were doing. Then what? Ally already was attacked once, it’s our turn Ava. We are the next line to show them they can’t push the armistice.” 
“Scamp, you forget I was part of this already. Your ma and Ally nearly died defending me turning the wars that lead up to the Armistice. Ana, us, and Ally’s expected child, we are the legacy, not the next line. The group pushes at the armistice because they are testing us, that is not enough to start another war. Our people have been at war for hundreds of years, let us just have some peace.”
“We aren’t at peace, we have our hands tied. We are getting pushed around and they won’t do anything about it because at least they can’t force chicitos into training camps anymore, and they don’t hold enough power to actually overthrow it, and we can’t abuse the new power we have. God damn it Ava can’t you see this is temporary unless we fight back now, while they can’t overthrow us? It’s a matter of time until they start everything back up again.”
“Aiden-” Ava went to say something when the door opened. The two teens stood as the adults began to walk out. Marcus stepped out of the room, eying his daughter and Aiden. 
“Eavesdropping are ya?” He jokes, wrapping his arm around Ava’s shoulders. 
“No Papa, just talking.” Ava flashes him a smile before glancing at Aiden. Aiden just nodded and she sighed before leaving with her father. Jack and Lily walked out, Lily looking tired. Aiden went to them. 
“So?” 
“Mijo, I know what you are going to say, but it isn’t that simple. Jack can’t just order those who are loyal to us to start fighting after promising them peace. Even if we decided to declare this a breach of the Armistice, we would need to get the other Captains to agree to it. Right now we just have to let them test the line and be thankful they haven’t fully declared war again.” 
“That is bullshit. You were the greatest captains and crew on the seas, now your scared of a bunch of land-loving snakes!” 
“Aiden. We didn’t have as much to protect then. We had nothing to lose that hadn’t already been put at risk. My decisions nearly killed my sister, your ma, Marcus’s kids, we nearly lost every child close to us. Imagine now what would happen. How many people would get hurt that hasn’t agreed to any of this?”
“How many people have been hurt anyway? I lived my first 10 years not knowing anything about this because the groups wanted me and my ma dead. Tell me again who this is keeping people safe, you couldn’t even keep her safe-”
“Aiden Antonio Ponderosa, you do not speak to him in that way. What happened before is not his fault, nor anyone’s but the groups and mine. Apologize and go make yourself useful in a way that gets rid of that attitude.” Lily says, grabbing his arm. 
Aiden scowls and glares between them a moment. “Lo siento senor.” He glances at the floor before Lily released him to walk away. He made it to the deck before Ava grabbed his arm and dragged him off onto the dock and away from the ship. 
“Ay, Frailecillo where the hell are we going?”
“Hush, just shut up and follow me alright? Sam and Thomas came all the way here to talk with us, but your ma can’t know.” 
Aiden blinks and follows her without question. As they approach a building, Ava and Aiden are yanked into a side alley. Aiden struggled against the arm locked around his neck, a spell forming on his lips as his hand locked onto the man's forearm. 
"Easy Rat, it's just me." Thomas chuckles. 
"Then get your arm off my throat you queen's codsucker before I blow your arm off." 
Thomas releases Aiden, pulling him into a hug, which was begrudgingly returned after a moment, Aiden seems to relax in the embrace. The two pull away, Thomas clasping Aiden on the shoulders. 
“Look how big you have gotten, how strong you are. It’s only been what, a few years?” Thomas smiles softly before looking over to Sam and Ava, who looks like there were in a bit more of a scuffle. Thomas releases Aiden and walks over to the other two. Aiden goes to Ava, brushing her disheveled hair away from her cheek to see the scrape. He shot a look at Sam, earning a laugh from the man. 
“What brings you all the way to Italy? I thought you two didn’t leave Britain much sense Ma returned to the Captians?” 
“We don’t. To be honest, I’m not even sure we should have come down here, after all, Mouse hasn’t made an appearance in years, and her loyalty clearly has changed.” Sam responded, looking a tad bit upset, despite the attempt to bury the look of betrayal.
“We aren’t here because of your Ma’s loyalty. I have little doubt she would come if we called, even if she isn’t in a condition to run missions for us. We are here because of you two. Your loyalty to our group and the Captain’s put you high on our list of importance. As such, I think it is important for you to know the Groups, who have begun to call themselves the  soldiers, spies, anything as they can.” 
Coalition instead of the Dark and White Half immortals and are acting as one group under one new leader, have been making waves in the hidden groups. They are gathering as many Aiden looks to Ava pointedly. “They are building for war. I told you.”
“That doesn’t mean anything. They wouldn’t dare do anything.” Ava says with a roll of her eyes. Thomas shakes his head. 
“They are planning to attack the Captian’s. Soon, within a few days. Dana, Marcus, Maria, Jack, Lyra, Duncan, all of them. On their list of targets also is Ally, his wife Isabela, Ana, Lily, and you two. As you know, Ally and Lily were part of our group as well, but refuse to see us, especially since Lily returned. We are supposed to be neutral, and the only reason we came to tell you is that we owe your family for being able to run how we are with the armistice in place, and for the continued loyalty. The hidden groups cannot help you with this. If it comes down to it, we can help hide you two, Ally and his family, and Lily. But that is all, I am sorry.” Thomas looks to them apologetically. 
“You are telling me they are setting up to wipe us out and you cowards are going to sit back and watch? After everything they have done for you?”
“Aiden-” Thomas’s gaze softened, but Aiden already had turned and walked away. Ava glared at the men a moment before following after him. Ava had to jog to catch up with him. 
“Scamp, wait. Please, Aiden, we need to talk about this. Sam and Thomas came down all this way because they wanted to help.” 
“Sam and Thomas? So that’s what you two run off and do now? Ava, you were raised better.” The familiar voice froze both of them for a moment as they looked over to the man leaning against the dock post. 
“You joined him too Ally, you don’t have much room to talk.” Aiden shot back.
“What would your parents think you two? I know Papa wouldn’t be too happy with you, and Lily very clearly told you not to continue talking with them Aiden.” 
“Fuck off. They are helping us.” Aiden snaps. Ava gives him a small shove and looks to her brother. 
“You may have left them, but we made our own choices. the hidden groups are different then what they used to be, most are loyal to the armistice or the grey. Tell the Captians, I don’t care. They couldn’t stop Lark or Mouse, they won’t stop us.”
Ally grit his teeth standing up and looking between the two of them. “That person doesn’t exist anymore, neither of them do. Sam and Thomas might help, but Komodo and Lynx will kill you without a second thought. You may have been raised by them, but I know who they actually are.“
“You don’t know them, you are scared of them,” Aiden growls softly before pushing past the older man. “If if they scare you, then we certainly should,” he muttered.
0 notes
wastelandcrown · 4 years
Text
logan lark’s adventures in trying to appease his parents
CHAPTER 1: anybody have a map?
Summary: Logan Lark is a fairly average high school student. By all means, he should be impressing his parents on all grounds. Except...he doesn’t exactly have a social life. So after his parents give him puppy dog eyes, he decides to join the local theatre's youth production. Good grief...His life is about to get weird isn’t it?
Warning: Potential ooc behavior, Roman is a theatre brat to the highest degree (Sorry Roman stans)
Notes: This fic is based off an idea from @under-the-blue-moonlight who very graciously let me use it! I’ve made a couple changes, mostly surrounding Virgil’s involvement and I gave Logan performance anxiety because I thought it would be neat. There will be warnings on the chapters that have potentially triggering talk.
Pairings: Eventual Intrulogical, Eventual Rociet, Eventual One-Sided Logicality, Platonic Analogical, Platonic DRLAMP 
Word Count: 2584
There he stands, at the precipice of his own destruction. By all accounts, it is fair to say that Logan is blowing this out of proportion. Wildly. Though he was doing much more than adequately in school, had a fairly stable mental health, and was better than most teenagers in regards to his physical well-being and room upkeep, it apparently wasn’t enough. Don’t misunderstand, his parents were in no way vindictive or cruel. Just...positive. Overtly so. In a way that made Logan cringe. How he, a man of logic and science, was ever made from these two extremely lovey-dovey saps, we will never know. Despite all his successes his parents still encouraged him to partake in activities with his peers. ‘Oh Logan, why don’t you join the school football team?’ ‘Logan, wouldn’t it be nice to make some friends at the local animal shelter?’ ‘Why are you always by yourself? Wouldn’t it be nice to make some friends?’ No, it would not. Not for him. Other people are stupid, especially teenagers. His whole life was planned on the cork board above his desk, and there was nothing important enough to make him deviate from his goal. 
To him, at least. To his parents, his social life being active was figuratively their number one priority. He’s been hoping for a calm dinner with his mother and father, he even enjoyed it most nights. He and his mother would discuss new things going on at the schools they respectively learnt and taught at. His father would discuss his work managing the popular local theatre. Discussing his father’s work tonight was a mistake.
“You know, Logan,” His father begins, and he knows where this is going, “The youth production is going to be starting up again soon.”
His mother smiles, taking his father's hand, “Loganberry, we think it would be good for you to join. You’re in your second year of high school and you don’t even talk to the kids in your class!”
“Mother, please try and understand, I really don’t think it’s necessary for me to find friends. I don’t enjoy having acquaintances, let alone having close personal friends.”
“Logan-” His father starts again but his mother pats his hand, and he quiets. 
She smiles at him and reaches across the table to put a hand on his cheek in a caring motherly gesture. 
“I know you don’t like other kids dear, but...think about it this way! It could be a fun experiment!”
Logan pauses, leaning into his mother’s touch, and nodding to show he’s listening. 
His mother started again, “You can gather data on a lot of different kinds of people, and then find out who you most enjoy hanging out with so that...in your...career…” 
Even though she’s trying, she stumbles, and his father picks up the slack, “So that in your career, you can find the people who you think are easiest to work with and be more efficient that way!” 
He knows what they’re doing. They’re buttering him up with some flimsy science experiment and explaining their position with a strange metaphor. But when both his parents are smiling at him like that...he can’t bring himself to say no to them. When he looks at them like this, he suddenly remembers how similar he looks to each of them. His mother’s dark brown hair, His father’s icy blue eyes, the glasses that sit snugly on both their faces...They smile at him so brightly that he just can’t say no to them. 
“Fine. I will do it, just this once.”
His parents erupt into literal cheers. He finds it a tad too much, but as long as they are happy he supposes he can put up with socialization and scheduling conflicts for a few months. 
That’s how he ended up at the theatre with his father at eight in the morning, on a Sunday in July. If it were his choice, he would be eating Crofter’s by the spoonful and reading some classic literature. Instead, he’s here. His father did get them both coffee, however. So he stands there awkwardly, nursing the cup that’s gone lukewarm, and he starts to feel nauseous. As he follows his father, he can hear the other kids. They’re loud. Too loud. Logan is going to hate this, he already hates this. He’s overthinking a bit, eyes trained to the floor when he accidentally trips. He’s bracing to be smacked in the face by the floor and his coffee when someone taller than him places a hand on his chest and props him back up. 
“Hi there!” Says the smiling man, who is tall with brown hair and brown eyes. He looks very kind and is wearing a Steven Universe t-shirt. 
“I-I apologize for that, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” Logan manages to stammer out. Had he been this nervous the whole time? He takes a deep breath and tries to get a grip. 
“Oh, no problem!” The man nods to his dad, “Hey, Edward! This is Logan?”
“Yes, he is! He’s usually a little more focused, though.” Edward nudges Logan with a smirk, and Logan has to nod and concede. He’s right, of course. He is usually more focused. 
“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Logan! I’m Thomas Sanders, I’m the head on the performance department here! Your dad’s been talking you up for weeks, you’re going to fit right in.”
With these words, Logan feels himself flush a little. Leave it to his father to talk him up for no good reason. He had never even been in a performance before! 
“Uhm-Yes. Thank you-” Logan begins and is cut off by a large crash.
Thomas lets out a deep sigh and turns, motioning for Logan to follow. His dad gives him a big smile and a double thumbs-up, Logan gives him a small and tired smile in return. He wishes desperately he had refused his parents the second he enters the auditorium. On stage, an adult in an orange beanie is reprimanding a boy dressed like he just crawled out of the mosh pit of a rave. The boy is laughing maniacally as off to his side, a nearly identical boy in a strangely put together outfit is pouting and crying crocodile tears. Logan makes a note to steer clear of the neon-garbage-rave kid. 
“What did you do now, Remus?” Thomas asks with a sigh, as the kid points off stage and cackles. 
“Remus started this year off by glue-and-feathering Roman’s make-up bag.” The adult in the beanie says, and Logan looks shocked. They’re certainly going to kick this guy out, right? Right!? 
“Remus...Dude…” Thomas grimaces, making his way over to who Logan assumes is Roman and supportively patting his shoulder. 
“What!?” Remus nearly shouts through his laughing, “It was funny!”
“It was not!” Roman cries with such an intense amount of drama. 
This only makes Remus laugh more. 
He’s watching so intently that he doesn’t notice that someone has entered and is standing next to him. 
“Oh, Hello.” He politely mutters, turning to look at the person. He’s shorter than he is, and definitely a lot bouncier. Even at eight am, he looks joyful. His eyes are a lighter blue than his, and his head is a mess of blonde curls. He also has round-ish tortoiseshell glasses. He isn’t unpleasant to look at, aside from the fact that he’s wearing cargo shorts and socks with sandals. 
“Hi! Don’t worry about them, Remus does something like that every year! He likes a-uh...fun start!” The kid starts talking, and even his voice is joyful and bubbly. 
“I’m Patton Foster, it’s nice to meet you!” Patton offers Logan a hand, which he takes and gives a firm shake. 
“Logan Lark. Is it typically this rambunctious, or does it calm over time?” 
Patton looks down, a little sheepish, then offers Logan a smile, “It’s always like this. Sorry!”
“It’s not a problem. I’ll just need to adapt to my circumstances.” As he says this he knows that it is going to be an especially arduous task. 
Pointing to his cup, Patton starts speaking again, “Is your coffee getting cold? We have a microwave backstage if you want me to warm it up for you!” 
The offer is sweet and genuine, so he lets Patton take the cup and run off behind the curtains. If he’s going to be here, he should start on that experiment, so he thinks. Patton seems sweet, potentially too sweet. It may be a ruse, but if his behavior is genuine Logan thinks he might be able to get by in his interactions with him. At least he’ll be able to send him off to do polite tasks if he ever needs to. 
Returning with his coffee reheated, Patton is nearly bouncing on his heels. Throughout the early morning, Patton drags Logan around and Logan realizes the bouncing is just how Patton is. He scoots by as Thomas introduces the staff. The person in the orange beanie, Joan, is the stage manager. Stood quietly beside them is a darkly dressed kid who only acknowledges the audience with a nod, his name is apparently Virgil Storm and he is running lights and sound for the show. Logan wishes desperately he could be up there on that stage. Not because he’s decided he wants to be here, but because he wishes he had known tech was an option. Damn his father for making him act. There are only about twenty kids in the audience, and by the time Thomas is done explaining the rules and conduct, the time is reaching noon. When Thomas announces that the production they will be putting on is called “Hamilton” and is a musical, the others begin to cheer wildly. Now, Logan has no clue what Hamilton sounds like, but he knows it is about the Founding Fathers. Musicals have never interested him, and especially not one about men who owned slaves and were all hoity-toity. He’s heard of it, of course. His father talks about how it revolutionized musical theatre, but Logan has never been interested enough to ask any further questions. As everyone is buzzing, he turns to Patton and taps him on the shoulder. 
“Is that a good thing?” Patton looks a little puzzled and goes to answer before he hears an offended gasp from behind him. 
“A good thing!? Is Lin-Manuel Miranda’s pride and joy, the musical that revolutionized musical theatre, the Emmy Award-Winning show Hamilton any good!?” Roman gawks at him and sputters like he’s never heard something so blasphemous in his life.
“I have no interest in musical theatre, therefore I was asking to gain clarity.” Perhaps saying this is a mistake because there are many gasps from other students, and Logan is pretty sure someone yells ‘Sexy!’
Roman snaps at him loudly and rises from his seat, “Why are you even here then!? You look like a nerd!”
“Roman!” Patton stands up and now Logan is cornered between them, “Don’t be rude!”
“Wha-Well I’m sorry that I’m confused as to why he’s here if he doesn’t even know about Hamilton!” He steps closer, cornering Logan even more.
Then he stands, “My father enjoys musical theatre and asked me to join, I don’t see what the issue is with my joining but if it truly perturbs you I suppose I will take my leave.”
He’s really grateful for this opportunity to abandon the theatre, and he turns to try and leave and ends up nearly chest to chest with Patton. 
“Hey now! There’s room enough for everyone here Logan!” Patton says brightly, and from the stage, Thomas nods. 
“Patton is right, Roman. We welcome everyone to try their hand at theatre, so please sit down so I can let you all go have lunch.” Thomas looks exasperated as Roman sits with a huff, followed by Patton and Logan.
On the stage, Thomas continues to explain what they will be doing, and then they’re being released to lunch with the goal of listening to the musical and beginning to practice their audition material. 
Logan manages to slink away from Patton, who had started talking to Roman about being nicer to the newbies or something. He had forgotten to bring lunch, which was probably fine. He’d just have to go and find his father and ask for some money. Pushing the auditorium door open, Logan finally notices he has attracted someone’s gaze. He makes eye contact with a glaring boy in a bright yellow hoodie, and he nods. The guy looks away and Logan shrugs him off. The front desk happily calls his father, who comes and brings him some money for the lobby vending machines and promises to buy him something more filling on the way home. This would severely throw off his new healthier diet, but he caves. After this day he would probably need some disgustingly greasy fast food to make him feel a little better. After the stunt with Roman, he’s not sure he’s going to go unnoticed. He buys a bottle of water and a granola bar from the vending machine and decides to sit at one of the lobby chairs to avoid the others. As he turns to find a space to sit, a voice from beside the vending machine makes him jump. 
“You’re not going to fuck up the show, are you?” The voice says, and Logan turns to find the same kid who was glaring at him before. From up close, he’s around the same size as Logan. His eyes are green-brown heterochromic, his hair is messy and brown, and one side of his face has vitiligo in a pattern that looks eerily similar to a reptile’s scales. He is glaring Logan down and he can’t help but feel a little intimidated.
“I don’t plan on it, no. Just because I am here against my will does not mean that I am going to attempt to make the show disreputable in any way.” He tries to say this confidently and he thinks he succeeds when the boy grins and offers him a hand. 
“Janus Devine.”
“Logan Lark.” And then he stops, and realizes he recognizes the origins of that name,“Are you by any chance named after the Greek god of doorways?”
Janus blinks, seemingly not expecting that reaction, “Shit-Yeah-How did you even know that?”
“I pride myself on being well-read.” Logan adjusts his tie as he says it and Janus gives a little chuckle. 
“Very good to know.” Someone yells from down the hall, and Janus rolls his eyes at the noise, “How would you like to come to join me and my...friends this afternoon?”
“It would probably be of good use to me.” He replies with a small shrug of his shoulders. Hopefully, these friends are nicer than that Roman fellow, but not as nice as Patton. 
“Oh no, it’s going to be totally useless. We aren’t going to get anything done.” Deadpans Janus and Logan just stares at him a little confused.
“That was sarcasm, specks.” His counterpart tacks on when he sees the confusion on his face. 
“Oh, right” 
All he can do now is follow Janus as he walks down the hallway towards the loud group of people. Logan follows behind and watches Janus’ movement. He walks so confidently that it’s almost like sauntering, but it’s too slow. Too smooth. It’s like slithering. 
Taking a deep breath, he prepares himself for whatever horrible experiences await.
74 notes · View notes
weirdlywisely · 6 years
Text
Yearly recap : 2017
I’ve done that the past two years and idk i think it’s good to do it and i like doing it anyway so here is my thoughts abt my 2017
So many things happened tbh idk if i’d say 2017 was a good year objectively, but it wasn’t that bad of a year for me
so ! i noticed i didn’t mention it at all but this year has been both really hard but also really good 
really good bc I finally moved out ! I’ve been living with my best friend officially since July but really since the end of August and I couldn’t be better ! 
i love my family i really do... but we’ve been at each other’s throat for like more than a year... if it’s not me and my parents, it’s me and my brother, or it’s my brother and my parents, or my brother and my sister... it’s very tiring... im tired of fighting with them... I really am... but im better since i moved out and see them less! i will have to move back in for summer bc im leaving Toulouse normally but it’ll be good i think
but i should do smthg in a more organized manner hahaha 
January was... plain bad... I was still in my double degree thing that exhausted me so much ! and i failed one of my final badly so i was really feeling awful (got my degree in the end thanks retakes) but i got back on my feet ! january was also bad bc i applied for an abroad exchange but was refused pretty harshly. if im being honest that hurt a lot... i may have cried bc i didn’t know what to do if i couldn’t go abroad and get away... but i got back on my feet and i was more or less okay!
I met two wonderful online friends for real this year ! and let me tell you IT WAS AWESOME ! took out quite a chunk of my savings but it was totally worth it ! but with all the money i spent on travels these two years im probably not going anywhere by myself in 2018 hahaha 
I met Mathilde in February and went to the eastern part of France, where i never went tbh it was a really fun week ! idk how long we had known each other but it was a loooooooong time hahaha 
I also met Lark in May! we took a little roadtrip in the US it was super fun hahaha i never went to these parts of the US so it was super cool to see ! could have done without the “guns make sense” signs... those were awful and didn’t actually make sense but ‘murica my guy
in the end got my English degree (look who has a valid college diploma !) and got my DEUG with an AB (ITS NOT EVEN WRITTEN ON THE DIPLOMA IM SALTY I WANT MY MENTION !!)
I am honestly focusing on the good bc the first half was hard but the second half of 2017 was better, and seeing friends i hold dear was just sooooo good and such an highlight of my year ! 
i went to Peru with my family for the summer it was super cool ! i met such great people and it was so interesting ! as you know my spanish just sucks but i have the best spanish in my family so i talked quite a bit and it was very fun hahaha there’s one thing im so angry about ! i was sick, like very sick for three days... Which three days ? the ones we did the Machu Picchu ... so i still went up but sat down on a bench at the entrance bc i couldn’t walk without wanting to puke... Fun story, the first day we had to do the famous hike to get to the Machu Picchu with guides and all but i was feeling so badly i couldn’t do it so i took the train all the way to the town and i was told someone would tell me where my hotel was... the guy didn’t... so i went out of the train station, feeling half dizzy half wanting to cry, i saw a guy on a bridge and asked him in spanish if he knew where my hotel was... he seemed all confused so i asked in english and one of his friend arrived and tried to help me with google maps but sent me on the wrong way hahaha so i walked a bit but felt so sick i wanted to cry so i sat down and a few minutes after i saw two guys who seemed to know where things were, so i asked them in spanish if they knew where my hotel was, and they said they knew and i asked if they could tell me, and they were like “oh no we’re leading you there” and like they did and one of the guy tried to speak with me but i was feeling so bad my head was spinning and i couldn’t understand half of it bc it was too fast and i apologized bc of that and then i thanked them so much bc that was so nice and i just spent the rest of the day sleeping bc i was dying inside!  it was such an experience hahaha also before that i went up 4910m ! and man that is high ! you can feel the lack of oxygen ! i loved it it was soooo cool ! 
if there’s one thing i know, it’s that traveling and experiencing new things is something i love ! it’s like the one thing that doesn’t fail to cheer me up soooooo
this year has been very good to me but also very bad... my lows have been pretty awful but i think i managed to open up abt it and get better. i mean im still not fully okay but i’m recovering pretty well, i mean ive never been that bad so it’s pretty okay.. like yeah there are still moment when i want to die or stop existing, and you know some thoughts aren’t the best... but im hopeful for the future so there’s that !
i mean, i didn’t think i could get my english degree bc i hated it so much it basically made three years of my life hell bc i just couldn’t stand it but i did it ! i thought i wouldn’t ever be able to let go of the “fake your confidence” thing but i feel like it’s less fake ?? im better with myself and im starting to actually like myself a little ? bc im trying to become a better person, im trying to become more compassionate and more helpful bc i am trying to better myself 
is anxiety still fucking up my life ? yeah it is, but guess what ? i can do it! what my brain is telling me is wrong ! i can do it, people aren’t laughing at me, i’m not making a fool out of myself ! and if i can’t do it ? i have a great best friend who knows that i sometimes cna’t do things and is willing to help and that is just so helpful ??? i sometime worry that i rely too much on her, but actually i trust her to tell me if im bothersome or whatever so it’s great ! 
honestly, i am hopeful for the future it’s so strange ?? i didn’t think i could have so many things i want to do ??? like i know what i want to do with my life ! i am stressing over which masters i want to apply to and creating so many other plans in case im not accepted ?? i want to travel the world ! meet new people ! see new things ! learn more ! 
it’s honestly crazy.. four years ago ? I was almost certain i wouldn’t be alive at 20, and now ? im 21 and im getting my life back on track ! 
another pretty big thing for me was that i cut my hair ! i had cut it all off very short back in may or june 2014 and two months ago i cut it all off at around the middle of my neck and it’s been soooo liberating ! im gonna cut it back shorter bc it’s way too long but wow! 
i feel like i am actually growing as a person ??? idk the me from last year and the me from this year, we’re not the same ! im getting better ! 
tbh 2017 was a train wreck i mean im still a train wreck but a train wreck who wants to get better sooooooo ! 
2017 was hard, but seeing friends and traveling helped a lot, i think those few days away from home helped so much, and just moving out it was just great ! don’t get me wrong i had very bad breakdowns while living at my flat but i didn’t have to call my best friend crying bc we were fighting with my parents sooooo yeah
lots of negative this year, not gonna lie, but ! like the idealist fuck i am i am hoping that 2018 will be better ! i mean i have so much planned ! im not gonna let anything set me back ! fuck it !
also i got a job this year ! i tutor people in english so it’s pretty good and it gives me experience ! my résumé isn’t empty anymore yay !
also im better at standing up for myself so it’s good ! i can finally just say what i think, not fully but more than before !
So basically in 2018 i want to try and improve on myself more ! i want to be proud to be myself soooooo 
i’ll try to talk to more people on here i think bc i really want to talk to people and i just am super shy but idk i want to talk to people and have more friends so why the fuck not hahahha 
i’ll also probably confess to my crush... tho i hate that i have a crush on him bc he’s a friend and all but idk i feel like it’s either to move on once it’s out soooooo 
i also want to learn how to dance bc i have way too fucking much energy and idk i don’t want to start any combat sport and i really want to learn how to dance even tho i am as graceful as a drunk hippopotamus hahaha
and finally i want to seriously get back intro writing and drawing ! it has been hard last year bc so many fucking classes and pressure but idk im motivated ! tho i always say that hahahha 
in conclusion, just be kind to yourself in 2018 ! you’re improving but it takes time ! i really hope i can look back on 2018 and be like “yeah i did it, im proud of who i am and where i am” 
0 notes
aion-rsa · 7 years
Text
INTERVIEW: Snyder On All Star Batman, Collaborators & Future Mysteries
The penultimate issue of “All Star Batman’s” explosive second arc, “Ends Of The Earth,” (that would be issue #8, for those of you playing along at home) goes on sale on Wednesday, March 15, so CBR sat down with writer and Batman guru Scott Snyder for some perspective on the apocalyptic epic.  
Unlike the first “All Star” arc, which featured artist John Romita Jr. on each of the five issues and focused predominantly Two-Face, “Ends of the Earth” has been crafted by a revolving cast of superstar talent and villains, with Jock breaking the ice in issue #6 with Mr. Freeze, Tula Lotay coming in on #7 to work with Poison Ivy, and now Giussepe Camuncoli stepping up to the plate with a Mad Hatter-focused story for #8.
RELATED: Bane May Now Be Batman’s Ultimate Arch-Foe
Snyder took the time to share some insights on his process with his collaborators, interests in Bruce Wayne’s psychology, and deeply personal influences on the story, as well as tease some plans for former “Batman” and “We Are Robin” mainstay, Duke Thomas; and the mysterious summer event he’s working on with artist Greg Capullo.
CBR: “Ends of the Earth” has a pretty drastically different tone and cadence than “My Own Worst Enemy”  — it feels a bit like going from a Tarantino movie to something a little more David Lynch flavored, especially in this issue. What motivated you to shift gears like this?
Scott Snyder: For me, it’s the point of the series. I think people are starting to see what I was going for with “All Star.” I had such a great time with Greg [Capullo] on “Batman”-proper, and we’re gearing up to do more stuff together and there’s just a sort of bombast to his work — a kind of singular style. He’s so elastic that it allows me to experiment with story, but with “All Star,” I really wanted it to be something that I’d get to look at both the mythos and the villains from completely different angles, and also to be able to use it as a showcase for different artists. So, to challenge myself as a writer to write Batman from all different kinds of prismatic viewpoints, and to make it personal, to do stories that are about now and that matter to me — that was kind of the goal from the beginning.
The arc that’s coming up after this with Rafael [Albuquerque] is going to be kind of singular for those four to five issues, one style, but very different than these four. I want to keep surprising with each one. “Ends of The Earth” has a mode that works with very different artists, it’s about different ways that the world could end, and somebody making an argument to Bruce, saying, “look at the fragility of things right now, you’re just a bedtime story that we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better, but ultimately everything is tenuous.” [The world] could end in biological warfare like in the Ivy story, natural cataclysm with the Freeze story, and now with Hatter it’s about this descent into subjective madness. It’s the desire I think all of us have to shy away from some of these huge problems because they seem so insurmountable. It’s easier to see the world the way you want, to take information the way you want, to create your own perception.
That’s what the Hatter story is going for. It’s almost as though each villain is presenting a different vision of the fragility of things, and then it all culminates with issue #9.
It seems like you’re going for a record for most villain cameos-per-issue across all of “All Star.” Can you talk about your process working with artists like Giussepe Camuncoli to pick out and design some of these cameos?
Well, part of is just the way “All Star” has been working. I’ll go to an artist in advance and ask them, “Who’s the villain you’ve always wanted to draw?” Most artists say “all of them.” Everyone wants to draw the mainstays and the cave and the Batmobile.
Part of it is making sure that when I talk to them that, when they do pick a villain, that I have a really good story in my head for that villain. Then what I try and do is speak to the strengths — so, for example, if Jock weren’t the one doing Mr. Freeze, I would have set it somewhere else. But since I know what he likes to draw, I know the feel he creates, it allows me to be flexible as a writer.
Here, I knew Giuseppe really wanted to make things feel like a very conventional action comic at the beginning and then have it spiral out of control. He was very clear about picking Dean [White] for colors and Mark [Morales] for inks because he felt they would create this really distorted, painterly feel as things got more and more psychedelic. He wanted to start with it looking very “house” style since he recognizes his own style as sort of conventional-with-flair. He draws Spider-Man, so you know he has that really cool, modern, “Big Two” style — but he can push himself beyond that like you see in some of his indie work.
So, it’s that! It’s talking to each person and figuring out what they want to draw, picking a villain, making sure we have a really good story, and then asking if there are any peripheral things we can fit in organically. If I get a chance to put in the tangential villains and they work with the story I’ll always throw them in.
Issue #8 really zoomed in on Bruce’s issues with identity, which is something you’ve played with recently, before at the end of your run with Greg Capullo. Is there something you’re specifically interested in conveying about Bruce’s layers as a character across these stories?
Oh, totally. It’s something I return to a lot. [His identity] and his mortality, I think, are the twin pillars of the Batman material I like to dig into.
I think the thing that’s fascinating in terms of his identity, when you peel it back, is that it’s insane. I mean, it doesn’t make any sense. It’s the mission of someone who is completely out of their head — and yet it’s heroic and inspiring to us as a folktale. There’s really a very rich vein to mine there where you start to poke [that part] of him.
In this story in particular, what Hatter is trying to say is that everyone in the world right now wants to live in their own head. Everyone wants to put on a hat and skin the world the way they want — see their car differently, their house differently, the spouse differently, whatever it is they want. Everyone wants to lean into that. Batman sees that argument and thinks it’s a terrible thing, we have to see the world the way it is. He’s a detective, he works on empirical evidence, he talks [directly] about the need for transparency.
So Hatter flips that idea on him, asking [Bruce] “You understand that you’re the biggest culprit of this [delusional world view], right?”
The way Hatter actually proposes this to him — that he’s living in an actual, literal fantasy — is likely untrue. But if you step back from it a little, Batman really is living in a sort of fantasy all the time. He’s skinning the world the way he wants to see it; as a place where a vigilante can work and is a hero instead of a villain.
I love that aspect of him, that he exists at this intersection of heroism and pathology. It makes him human.
Let’s talk a little about Duke Thomas, who’s been the focus of the “Cursed Wheel” back up stories for the duration of “All Star.” This issue left him in a bit of a tenuous spot — can you tease what readers should expect to see from Duke and his role in the Bat Family in the future?
Definitely. Duke’s played a big role for us in terms of supporting cast for a while and we want people to get used to seeing him with the Bat Family. I get worried sometimes that throwing somebody into the mix in Gotham without a “home” — no matter how cool the character may be — they can kind of wind up vanishing.
With Duke, it’s about long discussions with Geoff Johns and DC about finding the most viable place to land him. Is putting him in the mantle of a known character of somebody else that exists like a Robin or a Nightwing? Or is it trying something original?
We veered towards the latter, so with the next issue, you’ll see a big change in terms of his status and his mission. It’s going to lead into the story I’m doing with Greg Capullo. [Duke] evolves within that story, and you’ll see his role within the Family really crystallize at the beginning of the event [this summer].
So [the “Cursed Wheel”] is going to end with a bit of a cliffhanger. You’ll see the transformation of him into a character will have a very distinct role in Gotham, and with the rest of the Family; and also reveal things about some mysteries going on around the DC Universe as well.
Any hints as to what his codename might be?
Yeah! Well, it’s all been decided. It’s actually been one of the biggest debates. Everybody has a name they want for him, and they’ve changed as his role has changed.
Here’s what I love about Duke as a character: He’s always believed, as a kind of outsider from the Family, that heroes are independent of their their inspiration. [He believes that] Robin was independent of Batman, and doesn’t “need” him in that way. Similarly, all the other [Gotham] heroes go out at night, Duke is starting to go out by day. The city is very different then. He’s following in the footsteps of his parents that way. So all this starts to crystalize around who he’s going to be.
There have been different names. As he’s evolved, people wanted to call him all kinds of bat terms, but I think we’ve settled on something that works.
I’ve always really liked “Lark” for him, and that name got a little shout-out in this issue.
Yeah, I do too! Not to talk too “inside baseball” here, but the fact is that I’m really interested in giving a new writer [from my class] a chance with him, and an artist. So the concern I had with [the name Lark] was pointed out by DC, which I think is logical. It’s that that name doesn’t have quite the “teeth” for a series. It doesn’t sound…y’know, [Laughs] “Let’s go get ‘em!”
For as much as I like [the name], it needs a little more “muscle,” according to [editorial], and I would agree with that. So, we’ll see! These are the discussions we have long, long talks and lots of things on the board over.
The takeaway from it is this: At this point in my career, it means a lot more to me to try and create new characters and land them in ways that open up avenues for other writers and artists to drive in. I think [Duke] will get new kinds of stories. If he works [solo], nothing would make me happier. If he doesn’t, he’ll always have a home with the Bat Family.
Speaking of side-characters, this issue also included the Blackhawk Squadron, which hasn’t been around for quite some time. They’re a group that carry a lot of history with them. What inspired you to dust them off?
They’re part of a bigger mystery I’m excited to explore. That’s all I can say for them right now.
As a big fan of the more “cerebral” Batman stories, this issue reminded me a lot of Neil Gaiman’s “Whatever Happened To The Caped Crusader” in the ways it called into question the nature of Bruce’s reality. Was that something you had in mind as you wrote this story, or were there any other influences you were calling upon?
Oh, I love that [story], yeah. The stories that I love are always baked into the DNA [of Batman]. For example, “Perchance to Dream” is one of my favorite “Batman: The Animated Series” episodes, so there’s echos of that, there’s echos of “Whatever Happened To The Caped Crusader,” there’s echos of “Arkham Asylum.”
There are a lot of those things in there.
One thing I haven’t really spoken a lot about is that the goal is to make every one of these stories contemporary. So the Two Face arc is very much about the moment when the discourse between all of us has gotten so ugly that, regardless of what side you’re on, you start to question the nature of people; whether people are “darker” than they are “good.” [This moment] influences the way people think of each other, regardless of who you vote for or what side you’re on. “My Own Worst Enemy” is largely about the scariness of that feeling.
What each of the villains [in “Ends of the Earth”] are trying to lead up to is the kind of finale where the [next] villain in issue #9 is like, “Look, this is a time when everything is about to fall apart, and here’s all the ways it can happen.” They’re meant to [represent] those anxieties that are in the air.
But the second thing I’d say to your question is that [these stories] are meant to be personal. One of the things that this story is about is the way it feels when you are not feeling well. For me, having had boughts with depression and anxiety, panic attacks, all those kinds of things, since I’ve been a teenager. In one form or another,  [those things have] been a part of my life.
This issue, and the reason I did it all in first person narration, is that I wanted to create the feeling that you are most used to, [the feeling of] being in Batman’s head when it’s clear — a clear window — which is how it feels when you feel well. But when it starts to get panicked, and you start to feel depressed or anxious, that window darkens and pretty soon all you can see is an ugly reflection of yourself. That voice in your head that seemed friendly gets very ugly and you can’t stop it.
That’s the reason this one was in first person narration, when the Ivy issue had no narration, and the Freeze issue had third person storybook narration. It’s part of trying to make them intensely personal on top of being contemporary. That’s one of the real joys of the series, that I can go intimate in terms of my own fears and also speak to some of the things that Batman makes me brave about in terms of the sort of zeitgeist concerns of today.
“All Star Batman” #8 arrives in stores March 15.
The post INTERVIEW: Snyder On All Star Batman, Collaborators & Future Mysteries appeared first on CBR.
http://ift.tt/2mohHt8
0 notes