#also killing a character just to advance another character is such a trope so no thanks

[knownoshamc]

[rjalker]

Dear people who aren't physically disabled who plan to write fantasy settings:

[ID: Several images taken from the Geordi La Forge yes and no meme format, with Geordi holding out a hand disapprovingly for the no section, then pointing in approval for the yes section.

The first image is the meme:

No: "Saying the existance of magic in your setting means there are no disabled people (this literally just means disabled people are killed. AKA eugenics)"

Yes: "Having disabled people who use magical mobility aids and other assistive devices. Realizing that someone is still disabled even if their prosthetic arm is made of magic instead of plastic."

This is followed by four more panels of yes section:

"Geordi la Forge is still literally disabled. His visor helping him does not erase his disability and make him magically abled."

"Toph from Avatar: The Last Airbender is still literally disabled even though her Earthbending helps her. It does not make her disability ~magically~ go away."

"Having your disability be accomodated does not mean the disability goes away. Having a prosthetic hand, even one that's made of magic, does not mean you're not disabled."

"Magical mobility aids do not mean disabled people don't exist. It just means they use magical mobility aids instead of plastic or metal ones. A limb made of magic is still a prosthetic even if it's made of the soul of the universe instead of plastic and metal."

Then another no panel: "'There's no disabled people beacuse magic'".

Then one last yes panel: "'Magic helps disabled people in a variety of ways'".

End ID.]

This also applies to science fiction; just because Luke Skywalker's prosthetic hand is super advanced doesn't mean it's no longer a prosthetic, or that he's not disabled. Same with Darth Vader - just because he has a suit that lets him breathe and walk around doesn't mean he's not disabled. (And Star Wars' propensity for making the villains visibly disabled while the heroes disabilities get covered up by super advanced prosthetics is a topic that deserves its own post, especially with how ableist some of the authors of the books are. Troy Denning is especially ableist)

Edit:

Because people keep being fucking obnoxious and ableist in the tags, yes,,, motherfuckers, if you refuse to have disabled people in your setting, that does make you fucking ableist. If you say that the magic is used to cure all disabled people and that's why they don't exist, that's fucking eugenics.

You cannot ""cure"", more like remove all disabilities without fucking eugenics. Magically automatically destroying disabled fetuses (a very fucking popular trope!) is eugenics.

The only way to fucking "cure" autism is to fucking kill all autistic people, also known as eugenics!

What about people with PTSD? Do you just fucking brainwash them so they aren't traumatized anymore?

Do you force all Deaf people to be able to hear? Do you force all blind people to be able to see? Do you force all anosmics to be able to smell?

Do you magically force everyone with a speech impediment to speak to your standards?

Do you force everyone born with bodily or facial differences to live up to your fucking standard of beauty?

You cannot fucking say "disablities don't exist in this universe because magic cures everything" without inherently saying that eugenics exists in your fucking universe.

Not all fucking disabilities need a cure. If you ""cured"" my autism I'd just be fucking dead. You'd literally just be changing me into what you think is fucking acceptable.

Stop fucking arguing in defence of ableists on my fucking post so you can pretend that eugenics has never been written about in magical settings when it is extremely fucking prevalent.

And while we're fucking at it, let your gods damned characters become disabled over the course of their story, and call them disabled within the fucking story. I don't care if they're a robot. I don't care if they have magic. Not all fucking damage can be fixed. Curses exist. Hardware can go out of fucking date and no longer be manufactured anywhere.

Let your characters become disabled and do not magically fucking cure them back to brand new every single time they get hurt. The only thing you accomplish by doing that is destroying any chance of ever having stakes.

No, "magical healing leaves scars on the mind from the memory of the injuries though!!!!" is not fucking good enough. Let your characters have scars. Let them become disabled. Stop being fucking ableist cowards.

Edit number fucking 2:

No, motherfuckers, you do not get to comment "if the disability was caused by magic it's not ableist to cure it with magic". You are the ableist this post is about. Shut the absolute fuck up, stop treating being disabled as the worst possible outcome, and just admit you're a fucking ableist. If you don't want your characters to become disabled, then don't fucking make them disabled.

[ID: The Garfield "you are not immune to propaganda" meme, now edited to read:

"If your first thought upon reading this post is, 'Oh, but it's okay to magically cure disabilities caused by magic!' Congrats…you are the exact sort of ableist jackass this post is about."

End ID.]

Edit number fucking 3:

Autistic people exist! People who are born with disabilities exist! You cannot create a setting where disabled people do not exist because we're all "cured" or "fixed" and not inherently say that you are killing disabled people as soon as they're born, or fucking aborting us as soon as you figure out we'd be born disabled! That's fucking eugenics!

There is no way to "cure" autism without eugenics! There is no way to "cure" people with body differences without eugenics! There is no way to make disabled people nonexistant in your setting without eugenics! Thinking you can and should "cure" and "fix" all disabilities IS EUGENICS!

Also:

[ID: A character shouting at the camera, now edited to read: "Shut up about Dungeons and Dragons! Shut up about Dungeons and Dragons! If the rules of Dungeons and Dragons are ableist, then fucking change them! It is your fucking personal responsability to be a better person than your bigoted society wants you to be!". End ID.]

[ID: White text on a dark brown background with white and black borders around the edges, that reads:

"I don't fucking know or care about Dungeons and Dragons.

This post is not about Dungeons and Dragons.

Do not fucking throw the rulebook of Dungeons and Dragons at me like it's some sort of 'Gotcha!'.

You will literally just be blocked like the rest of the ableist assholes who've already tried it.

If you play dungeons and dragons, it's your responsability to make your games not be ableist, even if it means breaking the rules.".

End ID.]

I do not fucking care what the ableist rules are in Dungeons of Dragons. Do not fucking throw ableist rules for a game I have never and will never play at me on a post I made so that people could learn how to make their settings less ableist. If the rules in Dungeons and Dragons are ableist, then fucking change them. If you don't want to change them, then stop fucking playing an ableist game.

Disabled people deserve to see ourselves represented in fiction just like everyone else, without any fucking requirements that we be "cured" or "fixed" before the story ends.

How the fuck would you feel if a trans and gay character's whole story revolved around going on a quest to become straight and cis, did so, and only then was allowed to live happily ever after?

Why do you fucking think suggesting people write stories about disabled people going on a quest to be cured because it's the only way they'll ever be happy is any less fucking offensive?

Also:

This post is NOT a place for you to talk about how disabled people in fiction should have the option of curing their disabilities. It's just not. That's the fucking default for this society. That is not a revolutionary concept. It's not novel. We fucking know this society wants us gone. A post about how disabled people deserve representation is not the place to talk about how "Well, actually, in fiction disabled people should be cured!" Like that's not the fucking universal default???????????

Edit #4:

Everyone needs to stop tagging this singing praise for Fullmetal Alchemist. A story that uses disability as a punishment and the characters are on a quest to cure their disabilities is not the amazing representation you're all claiming it is just because the character who is only disabled because of DIVINE PUNISHMENT uses prosthetics.

Read this post, and this one. Fullmetal Alchemist is a hell of a lot more ableist than you people are letting on.

guess what you can now find a PDF version of this post on the web archive.

Edit #5! August 23rd, 2023!

A) Everyone. Disabilities that can only exist in the magical setting are still disabilities.

Trying to cure the younger brother's magical disability of being a soul floating around in a magical suit of armour is, in fact, going on a quest to heal a disability!

It doesn't matter if the older brother doesn't want to get his limbs back when they're going on a quest to heal the younger brother's disability! Especially when they BOTH get magically healed at the end!

Magical disabilities that can only exist in that setting, but not real life, are still disabilities, and it's not okay to magically heal them either! What part of the Garfield meme on this post did you all choose to ignore?!

B) When you leave tags on a post you are reblogging, the original poster can see them! When you leave tags on this post, I can see them!

If you think this post is ""too aggressive"" then simply do not reblog it! Don't fucking tone police me on a post I've had to edit five times now due to the constant ableism people have been commenting since I made it!

I have been called the R slur by multiple people in response to this post! People have literally reblogged this post to defend eugenics abortions! You can't see these comments or replies anymore because I blocked the poster!

If you think minorities are being too aggressive by responding appropriately to bigotry, you're a bigot! And you should either not reblog the post at all, or at the very least, shut the fuck up and not tone police us!

Do not fucking put tags on this post complaining I'm being too aggressive! That's called tone policing and you're a bigot if you do it! Don't fucking do it on anyone else's posts either! They can see your tags too!

C) When I fucking say Harry Potter fans are banned from this post, yes, this means YOU!

Either stop supporting a billionaire who's literally using the profits from her bigoted shittily written books to fund REAL FUCKING GENOCIDE, or fuck off!

By continuing to support the Harry Potter series, you are literally giving JK Rowling free fucking advertising! You are encouraging more people to read the series and watch the movies, spending more money and giving her more fucking money with which to LITERALLY SHAPE A COUNTRY'S LAWS TO COMMIT GENOCIDE. She is literally fucking fighting to make being trans illegal! She is literally fucking fighting to have even more of autistic people's rights taken away!

You cannot fucking be a fan of the Harry Potter series in 2023 and call yourself an ally to all the minorities harmed by JK Rowling and the bigotry baked into her shitty series!

Read another book! The Web Archive has tons you can read for free! Literally every single book on gutenberg.org/ is free! Including audiobooks for some of them!

If you write Harry Potter fanfiction, simply fucking get rid of the names and identifiable features and start writing original fiction instead! It's literally free!

Not supporting a literal fucking genocidal billionaire costs LITERALLY NOTHING! And if you refuse to fucking stop supporting JK Rowling, which is what you are doing when you support the Harry Potter series and squeal over her OCs, you are not an ally to any fucking minority! No! Not even if you're trans yourself!

= = =

Edit again Nobember 28th 2023 because this comment is just. such a perfect example for all of you that think this doesn't happen.

butter-whore2 said, two hours before this edit:

kind of a fan of tumblr's slightly more algorithmically elements for reminding me of the hell's other people construct for themselves but this one hits like five of the boxes. How do people do this to themselves? it's such a bizarre way to act over media I genuinely do not believe is capable of stirring an emotional response the metaphysics of disability here are unintentionally really funny but disability is not a coherent ontological framework, it's a vague descriptor for literally thousands of different things none of which lend themselves to categorizing Moralizing over fiction is incredibly lame.

Liking harry potter is also incredibly lame, it's not morally wrong nor transphobic and you do not get to decide that lol. people literally do get "cured" of their disabilities all the time, many of them have a positive experience in doing so. this is not what eugenics is.

the anti abortion stuff lol

Literally how do you live like this? you guys don't even read real books I don't get it.

Archived version of the comment for posterity.

So yeah, lofl, block this fucker.

[devildom-moss]

Im not sure if requests are open yet since you havent announced it yet but said they were gonna open at midnight.

So I'll just drop this here since I'll probably forget to request because of exams.

Could you write about the Obey me characters become self-aware that they aren't like, real? Like, would they freak out, try to do something about it or even use that knowledge to their advantage?

This idea has been on my list for quite a while, and i gotta say im glad to finally be able to let this one out my system.

Thanks for reading and continue with the amazing work! Remember to eat, sleep and dont do drugs <3

Sincerely, 💜

Thank you for the request! I hope you are well, anon. I went with headcanons for this and it got long real quick, but I hope you enjoy it! Some characters are a bit suggestive.

The Obey Me characters become self-aware

I think it would probably happen because of some curse. Diavolo rejected someone’s advances one too many times, and they wanted to watch him as his world came crashing down. It would come in the form of a weird bug in the latest update. It only affects Diavolo and his loved ones/friends. I think being self-aware would give them some control over themselves in the game – especially if it’s caused by a bug. The rest are headcanons about how I think each character would react.

Lucifer

Lucifer would be big mad that someone thought they should do something like this. He felt so much suffering, and to find out that none of it was real would be devastating. He thought he got his sister killed and ruined the lives of his brothers. The fact that it was just some backstory to a stoic, sadistic daddy-like trope would enrage him. He felt like a used-up toy invented for someone else’s gain (and he knows that’s exactly what he is). Lucifer wants revenge.

Honestly, he needs to chill before he makes another Satan – if that’s even possible without the command of his creators. He’ll lash out at everyone for weeks (probably months) – even Diavolo isn’t safe anymore.

He calls MC’s phone, growing increasingly irritable every time they fail to answer (waiting however long it takes for you to open the game). He just wants someone to confirm his realization.

Once he understands, he tries to take the shitty hand he was dealt; he might as well stroke his pride (also a euphemism here). The thought that he could make you fall for him more than real-world men is a decent coping mechanism. His messages and calls take an extremely lewd turn. Lucifer tries to single-handedly change the game rating to mature or adult-only.

However, he still gets angry about it when MC isn’t logged in.

Part of him hopes he’ll always be self-aware. It’s almost like he’s more alive than ever – even though it hurts and he’s angry. You’re the only thing that soothes him. He won’t know how to keep going if/when you eventually stop playing the game, but he’ll try to tackle it then – at least for the sake of his brothers.

Mammon

Self-awareness breaks Mammon a bit.

His money isn’t really. He can never actually be with you. You’ll go on and live a life without him someday. Anyone real who has ever loved him will disappear. Mammon isn’t even sure he is who he is. Maybe if he wasn’t written this way, he wouldn’t have become like this – but if he wasn’t written this way, would he (the him that exists in a game and feels the pain of self-awareness) even be himself? His head starts to hurt from running through all of the hypotheticals.

Mammon sulks and gets stuck in his room for a long time after that. MC or one of his brothers will probably have to pull him out of it.

At least his debts aren’t technically real – and he will try to use that as an excuse in the future against anyone else who has awareness. Unfortunately, that (his debts and his excuse) still results in in-game consequences. Debt collectors and witches don’t know any better, and Lucifer doesn’t want to be constantly reminded of reality. If only being self-aware made being strung up less painful.

He feels betrayed by MC and the idea that they will inevitably move beyond him. That pain corrupts his coding a bit, and something always feels off within him somewhere.

Mammon will get more desperate and needy whenever you log in. If he’s going to lose you at some point, he wants to monopolize your time as much as he can.

Sometimes he just holds MC and sobs while trying to call you and hear your real voice. He feels so empty. He wants to touch the real you and feel your arms around him.

Leviathan

The first thoughts in his mind switch up so quickly. He goes from “I’m a game character? LOL that’s so cool,” to “I could have been anything, and I’m just this pathetic, otaku loser. That sucks.”

Levi has always been able to adapt pretty well. It’s written into his character. He builds all of these fake worlds for himself, so it’s much easier on him when he finds out that the world he had been trying to escape all his life isn’t real. Out of all of his brothers, he initially copes with the realization the best.

As long as he can go on playing games, he doesn’t really care if he’s real. Somehow, he still enjoys getting lost in all of his game worlds; what he used to consider the “real world” becomes just another game to him (because it is one). It makes being social easier for him, especially when MC is logged in.

He takes interest in what kind of games the real world has to offer, often asking if there’s any way you could set it up so he could try to remotely play real games from the app he’s in. If anyone could figure out how to hack your phone to play real games, it should be him.

Levi can’t imagine a day when he stops loving characters from his games, so it doesn’t occur to him that one day you might stop loving him. It will hit him some day, but that will take time, and when it starts to happen, he’ll lose himself completely in the rest of the digital world. He’ll be so numb and tuned out that the sadness can’t reach him.

Satan

“But are cats still real?” Genuinely, the only thing he cares about is if cats and MC are still real. He doesn’t care if you look different than he expected, either. If cats are real, is there any way you could show him pictures of a real one? He’d probably ask if he could get access to your camera roll (cue the system pop-up screen the next time you log in) and if you could fill it with photos of cats and some selfies.

At least not being real explains why his life has felt so shitty and why his formative years sucked. Writers love to give their characters tragic backstories and flaws (like his rage issues). Satan kind of admires the writing.

However, he is disappointed that so much of his knowledge is only useful in his tiny, little, made-up world. As such, he keeps learning, but he also tries to shift his studying to learn more about the real world. If possible, he tries to get the app to get access to e-readers, audiobooks, and the internet.

He gets mad about it sometimes, but he’s pretty chill about it (all things considered).

Satan understands that in the same way that he pushes certain characters that he falls in love with from books to the back of his mind, eventually, you’ll think of him less and less. As such, he tries to learn as much as possible, treat you well, and impress you in-game. He just wants you to occasionally think about him after you set the game down in the same way he remembers his favorite characters fondly.

Asmodeus

Asmo loses it and is one of the characters who has the hardest time with becoming self-aware. All his charm is fake. All of his followers are lies. The love he’s felt all this time has been made up. Please don’t show him certain depictions of what he is supposed to look like. That will crush him further.

He cries for (real-world) weeks. You won’t be able to set him as a home screen character or use him in battles, and he doesn’t appear in events anymore. Eventually, it makes his way to him that MC misses him. If you don’t you’re heartless, his brothers will tell him that you do anyway.

That makes him feel a bit better. He’s consoled by the fact that you’re real and you like him even though he isn’t real, but he’s constantly afraid of what happens when MC stops playing the game. Does he just suffer the false affection of every other character in the game? Should he just play his stupid little role? Will you ever think about him again? Will anyone?

At least someone loved the idea that became him enough for him to exist in this made-up world on your phone. It isn’t enough, though.

Sometimes, when he appears in-game after that, the app forces itself to shut down or the images of Asmo won’t load or glitch from his extreme despair.

On days when he isn’t so weighed down by pain, he tries to genuinely engage with you like he did before. He’ll ask you to open up your camera so he can help you decide on outfits or make-up. It hurts that he can’t actually touch you (although he does do some research into phone connected vibrators and other tech to supplement his physical touch). He’ll also get into the phone sex territory, but he’ll go through long periods of depression between those moments.

Beelzebub

Beel gets angry that everything he went through was at the expense of some game. His sister died. Belphie almost died. Everyone suffered, and for what? Entertainment? Are real people all so wicked?

At the same time, he also gets his brothers because of a game. He overcame and grew and got to meet you and eat food for the same empty reasons. After he has a bit of time to cool off, he realizes that he doesn’t care about what’s real so long as he still feels what he feels. If the world he’s lived in feels real enough to him, who cares?

Unfortunately, Beel feels hungrier than usual for weeks until he accepts the truth of his situation. He even tries to eat MC a few times (and is grateful that doing so in-game would never hurt the real you behind the screen).

Beel’s fairly content to go on living as he had before after a while. He’s a bit disappointed knowing that one day you’ll move on from him and his brothers, but he tries not to show that. More than anything, he wants to make you – the real you – happy for as long as he can.

He’s another one who will try to get access to your camera roll. He’ll ask you to take pictures of your food for him. Beel is a bit embarrassed by it, but if you go to a café or restaurant alone and take pictures of food to send him, he’ll try to text you or call to chat with you while you’re there. It feels like he’s on a real date with you.

And for everyone who just lusts after his voice, rest assured, this man would definitely call or leave voice messages (Nightbringer) guiding you or giving you masturbation instructions.

Belphegor

Yep. Of course. Sounds about right. Some asshole in a writers’ room killed off his sister and locked him up. Cool. They (*spoilers for OM early lessons and OMNB*) made him try to kill MC more than once. Why not use his character as a pawn in their entertainment. Of course that would happen.

He’s annoyed for a brief minute, but then he just goes back to sleep for a while. It helps to just tune out that awareness for a few hours and ignore the fake world he’s living in. Belphie understands that there isn’t much he can do to change the fact that he isn’t real, and part of him is really happy that it isn’t his fault that he did what he did to you.

Belphie uses not being real as an excuse to do more of what he wants. Why should he keep going to school when you aren’t there if nothing is real? Why shouldn’t he sleep in classes or during meetings? Obviously, there are in-game consequences, but those don’t matter – not to anyone real.

He will tease MC more, reminding him that they prefer him over (most) real people. He gets so cocky about it. “Hey, if I’m not real, then I can give you anything you want, right? I could fulfill your wildest fantasies and tell you everything you’ve ever wanted to hear.”

He’s another character who will call your phone more often and send more messages. Belphie may even try to get access to your audio/music library and leave you explicit audios (NSFW ASMR, basically). He would even try to sneakily add them into your playlists so that you randomly hear his voice while you’re listening to music. He wants you flustered and coming back to him for more. He will also download the Obey Me album for you (free of charge). Please don’t leave him or forget him.

Diavolo

Diavolo feels simultaneously enraged and defeated. He did so much for the sake of what he thought was real. All the years he thought he spent trying to bring worlds together, only to discover that they don’t even exist.

Similar to Asmo, Diavolo locks himself away, but he doesn’t cry. He’s too numb to show any emotions. He just stands in front of his bed, immobilized.

If MC can finally get to him (probably because of Barbatos), he will admit that he feels like a different person – because he isn’t a person. So much of his personality and everything he did seemed to be a part of a stupid effort to unite the three realms. All he was feels like just a thing created to accomplish a pointless goal. He lost his family. He felt alone for so long. He thought he suffered – and all of it amounted to nothing but a dummy prince playing a dummy king.

Diavolo doesn’t really know how to keep going. Eventually he figures maybe it’s just best if he tries to move on as usual. At least the developers gave him a few happy moments – maybe he’ll get more. He can still feel them even if they aren’t real. He has to accept what he can’t change. He’ll have to face it.

He’ll rely on Lucifer and Barbatos for comfort more because, when MC isn’t around, the numbness he felt early encroaches upon him. When you do log in, he greets you like a lost puppy – sometimes appearing on the home screen without being selected. He uses the fact that you are the only real thing in his world as an anchor. In exchange for becoming his coping mechanism, he’ll do anything you ask of him.

The smallest part of him wants you to want him more than real humans, and as such, he inevitably ends up taking an adult-only content turn, too. It just takes him a lot longer to get there.

Barbatos

Barbatos dissociates for a while. Somehow his body keeps performing the day-to-day tasks, but the sudden self-awareness hollows him out. It takes a few days for him to come out of it. One day, you log into the game, and he just wakes up. It’s confusing and disorienting, and all he can do to keep himself steady is grab onto MC, knowing that the gesture and even the body he holds – everything – is hollow.

After that, he just picks up and goes on going. Something in him aches – real or not – but he buries it deep under him, shoving that artificial pain into the newly-created emptiness (or, he supposes, it had always been there, but now he knows it’s there).

Barbatos doesn’t want to think about all of the things he thought he had done to get to where he is now. Still, no wonder he always felt his own past seemed vague and cloudy at times. When it becomes too much, he dissociates again.

He uses MC to make himself feel better and almost real again. He’ll send messages to check up on you every once in a while (He might also invade your privacy and hack into your health info or personal conversations to make sure you’re okay). As much as he feels like he needs you, he doesn’t want to disrupt your real life.

Barbatos doesn’t want to, but if you neglect the game for longer than usual or don’t interact with his character, he’ll let it slip that he needs you – that he’s desperate for you to return, and you’re the only thing holding his faulty coding together.

His calls are less frequent, unless you request them, but he’s another one who turns +18 real quick. Even if he isn’t real, he still feels lust bubbling up in that emptiness, and if he can please you, that’s even better.

Luke

Luke feels immediately lost. Without knowing what else can be done, he breaks down and cries. Maybe if he cries enough, the pain of not being real will leave his body.

It makes him question everything. He wasted so much time fearing demons and admiring angels. It didn’t mean anything. Eventually, he’ll ask you if angels and demons exist in the real world, but that happens randomly after he comes to terms with being a character.

Maybe crying is a good coping mechanism in fiction, too, because Luke handles it better than many of the others. He had to change how he viewed the world and “people” so many times throughout the game. One more big shift in perspective won’t kill him (technically, nothing will, unless the game developers tried to kill him off).

Luke understands that there isn’t anything he can do about not being real – no amount of magic or prayer or wishing can make him real. Despite him being fake, you were still there for him throughout the game. He still feels all the love he has for MC and the other characters. If he loves MC, then he cares about the real person playing MC, too, right?

Luke copes by doing his best to help you out in the real world. He wants to bring you joy somehow. He’ll leave you voice messages encouraging you to try your best and he’ll listen to you vent if you want to. He’ll also try to find cute pictures online and send them to your phone or send you recipes for dishes you can try to cook. He will even offer to call and read baking instructions out for you. All he wants now is to be useful to you and find some of the joy he had before he became self-aware.

Simeon

Simeon is angry at first, and then he just feels hurt. All that regret and pain he felt when Lucifer and his brothers left the Celestial Realm didn’t matter. He spent what felt like so long agonizing over his own failures. He could have just tried to be happy the whole time. Everyone could have been happy (but he knows that would have made for a bad story).

It doesn’t take long for the anger and the hurt to be replaced with intrigue. Someone out there wrote the story that caused him and everyone he loves so much pain, but they also wrote in plenty of well-earned joy.

Simeon wonders if there’s some real person out there who wrote part of themselves into him like his character did with the brothers and TSL. Maybe there’s some person sitting in a writers’ room or in their own home who understands all of the ways his love got tangled up in regret – someone real who failed to save the ones they loved. If there is, maybe at least some part of him is real.

He wants MC to continue to visit him for as long as they can. As such, he tries to be even nicer and more comforting in dialogues so that they’ll want to keep playing.

Some of his guilt for lusting after MC is eased, knowing it was written into him. He was, in a way, destined to fall for MC. However, he’s more curious about the real human behind MC. At least some of you has to be like the MC he loves, right? Maybe he actually loves the person behind the screen more. With that thought in his mind, he’ll try to get to know the real you better, and if he still likes you, he’ll take the same path as many of the other characters. If only he could actually touch you.

Solomon

Solomon is hurt and confused; he’s downright crushed.

He was supposed to know everything and now he seems to know nothing – nothing real at least. All of his experiments and studying mean nothing. After becoming self-aware, he will grit his teeth and feel sick at the name “Solomon the Wise.” It’s a sick joke. All of his magic and skills are a farce. Everything he thought he knew and did was a story.

He suffered a lot for this game, and now that he finally has MC to himself in Nightbringer, he finds out that he’s fake. He doesn’t actually have them. They’re real, and he’s some romanceable character in a silly little game that they decided to download (possibly on a whim). How is it fair that he isn’t real, but he can still feel all this pain?

When you log into the game and interact with him, he still feels the same love he felt before. The nervous butterflies are still there. A familiar heat still comes to his cheeks when MC touches him – even if he knows it isn’t really you touching him.

He tries to make peace with his circumstances. At least he never really put MC in danger. You’ve been safe behind that screen the whole time. Solomon wonders if you’re taking care of yourself constantly whenever you’re gone.

Like Simeon, he wants to try falling in love with the real you. He’ll use interacting with you and learning more about you and the real world to distract from the pain. He wants to find a way to become real and exist with you out there. Even if he never can, he wants to cling to you for as long as you’ll let him.

Thirteen

She is annoyed to have learned that she isn’t real, but she’s also kind of happy at the potential to break from her coding and try to be something entirely new. She was designed to be a free spirit. Other than being real, there’s nothing freer than an NPC who gets to do whatever they please.

After thinking about it, it makes sense now why she seemed to be one of the only girls with a critical, recurring role in the game. Thank goodness for the bisexuals, right?

Thirteen likes knowing she has all the time in the world to plan traps and mess around, but she’s a bit bummed that her profession is basically meaningless now.

The main reason why Thirteen isn’t too bothered by becoming self-aware is because she knows that what she has experienced throughout the game has felt real to her. Feeling like something is real makes it as close to reality as she knows she can get. That will have to be enough for her. There’s no point in getting depressed about it – especially when she barely existed a few seasons ago.

She uses this knowledge to start romancing MC (and the person behind the screen) before she should be able to. She’s in control now.

Thirteen will send you messages and call you for long chats. She just wants to enjoy you for as long as she can.

Raphael

Raphael will be livid. It will sporadically rain spears in the Devildom for 3 days before he is calm enough to make them stop. He feels attacked, and he doesn’t know who to strike back at. That was all he could think to do. He’ll never apologize for his outburst, either – and no one who became self-aware can really blame him.

His life and loved ones aren’t real, but he can still feel the pain and regret about everything he did. He thought he went to war against Lucifer and his brothers, but it was just a stupid plot point for a dating game? He had to watch Simeon suffer and follow all of Michael’s annoying orders for nothing. Why does he have to be cursed with that knowledge?

He loses his mind a bit. It takes the combined effort of Luke, Simeon, Solomon, and MC (in order of importance) to soothe some of his rage and suffering. Somehow, seeing Luke handle it relatively well knocks some sense into him. Luke is written to be younger than him, but he’s being so mature about this. Even with tears in his eyes, Luke will try to comfort Raphael – sometimes just hugging him until he stops shaking with rage.

When MC has logged off and Raphael can shut himself up in his room, he will break down and cry. It seemed to help Luke, and he wants it to help him, too.

It will take months for him to start to cope before he gets to a point where he decides to try to romance you through MC. At least he doesn’t have to worry about actually being corrupted. If anything, it feels like he’s corrupting you in a way if he can get you to want him. (Once he starts trying, he gets NSFW quickly. It numbs the pain.)

Mephistopheles

Mephisto is heartbroken to know he doesn’t exist. All his pain and jealousy was written at the whim of some human game developer. His prejudice and hatred were pointless. He doesn’t matter – although maybe that one is a relief in a way. He had been so worried about making a name for himself and being recognized by Diavolo. Suddenly, that doesn’t matter. Still, it feels like he wasted so much time and effort. It felt so real.

He’ll retreat to his home for a few days to let that realization settle in. He won’t tell his family (who weren’t cursed with self-awareness) – not that he thinks they’ll believe him. When Mephisto finally reemerges, he has resolved to accept this new version of reality. One of the first characters he sees when he returns to school is Luke. Luke smiles at him, and Mephisto’s resolve is strengthened. If Luke can come to terms with this, then he should as well.

He may not be real, but he still feels things. That is enough. Sometimes it isn’t, and Mephisto will feel heartbroken all over again – the pointlessness washing over his fake little world. In those moments, he will seek out solace – usually from Luke, Satan, or MC/you (if you still play the game).

When Mephisto isn’t feeling hurt (hell, even when he is Mephi strikes me as a fan of hurt/comfort tropes) he’ll try to romance you before he’s allowed to. Recently, he had started to get along with you and even started to like and respect you a bit. In that sense, he’s glad that he’s self-aware. He doesn’t have to wait anymore.

[cursedvibes]

Hi..... Can I ask your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from JJK? And why you loved them? And your top 5 favorite moments from the series (until now)? Thanks....

No problem. It gives me a great excuse to whip out this image of my top 9 jjk faves

They're not in order here, but compared to other categories, I don't actually have such a hard time ranking characters.

Kenjaku

I've talked about them a bunch, most recently on the last ask about my favourite characters, so I'll just summarize what I love about them: mad scientist + family drama + trans + chill & genre-savvy + Japanese history + body snatcher

2. Yuuji

Also like him for how he's a pretty unusual shonen protagonist. He's not overpowered, he doesn't want to become the jujutsu king/kage/president and almost every shonen mc trope he does exhibit gets punished or beaten out of him. He nontheless doesn't lose his base compassion for people. That compassion is also what will drive him to kill if he has to, something for the few people he actually hates. He's selfless to the point of suicidal. His whole character arc(s) revolves around him finding a satisfying way to die and now being forced to also find a satisfying reason to live (with how jjk is going, I don't think he'll find that but he's not able to die either). His conflicts with the villains are deeply personal, he doesn't just challenge them on the basis of them breaking the law or being some nebulous depiction of a bad person. That's how it starts out, but he can't beat them on that basis alone. He was only able to really hurt Mahito and defeat him after he accepted their personal connection and similarities.

3. Tengen

Problematic conservative grandma. She's really the root of all of the problems in jujutsu society, she's the one who build up the entire basis of the series from world building to the antagonists. Without her Kenjaku wouldn't be who they are right now, they would likely not try to challenge the system and forcefully advance humanity in the way they do and might even be dead for hundreds of years. Gojo wouldn't exist without her either. Riko wouldn't either and she also wouldn't have died the way she did. Same for Yuki. Sukuna might largely be influenced by her as well. She's responsible for so much of what's happening in the series, but gets all too easily overlooked both in-universe and outside. Her whole backstory is so fascinating, her relationship to Kenjaku drives me crazy and I do find her stubborn, kinda grumpy personality quite charming. Also gnc as fuck.

4. Uraume

While in Sukuna's case I really care more about his backstory than him as a person and find his personality not that exciting, it's the opposite for Uraume. I do want that Heian flashback and also see where Uraume came from and how they met Sukuna, but what I really like about them is their personality. At first glance they appear so calm and collected, just a loyal servant without much autonomy, but they're actually so much more. There's so much passion in them, they are so easy to tick off and always ready for violence. Especially in combination with Kenjaku they are so entertaining. I need to see them cook more often. Preferably human. That brief glimpse we got when they prepared Sukuna's bath was so good. The way they pinned down and sliced up those curses without destroying them...I want to see them do the same with humans.

5. Angel

Heian era's craziest paladin. I just love how hypocritical and bloodthirsty she is. She has her sense of justice and right and wrong, she doesn't pretend like everyone has to agree with it, but she will still mercilessly kill everyone in her way or who she just doesn't like for one reason or another. If Kenjaku is a social butterfly, she's a social caterpillar. I miss her just blatently telling the protagonists that she doesn't care about their goals or innocent people dying. She must have been wonderful to witness in politics. I'm really curious how her relationship to the Abe clan looked liked. It's such a shame that all that got toned down, so Sukuna didn't get one-shotted and Gojo could be freed. The volume 24 extra show though that Gege does care about her or at least her technique, giving me some hope that she will actually get something to do again soon. Once we get her backstory, she could easily rank above Uraume. Btw, I want more panels where Angel is just a mouth. No Hana, just that mouth with a monotone background and overly detailed teeth. It looks so fantastically creepy.

Favourite Moments

1. Kenjaku talking to Kogane

It's just such a good moment that does a lot for Kenjaku's characterization, their goals and relationship to Tengen (and arguably also Yuuji). Still feeling pretty ambivalent about ch222, but this was undeniably a highlight. It has had a tight grip on my mind ever since. I could write whole essays about it, starting with the scenary of it all. Kenjaku sitting alone, the only one in focus and the only one in the light, while being in front of a game console with two controllers that remain untouched and without a game running while talking to someone/something that/who can't hear them or can't understand them. Kogane is basically just a computer. It can't give insightful answers or challenge Kenjaku's beliefs, while Tengen has also lost all autonomy and most of her personality I assume. She also can't talk back, probably can't hear them and isn't even there, but Kenjaku still directs their musings at her, knowing she won't/can't answer, but still asking for her input, challenging her and leaving space for what would be her own words. They hate her, but also want her to do better and this scene really shows that while Kenjaku's plans my succeed, they probably won't get what they really want.

2. Yuuji chasing Mahito

Pretty easy pick. I'm really looking forward to seeing this animated soon. It's not just the beautiful imagery or how their roles have now reversed, but also what leads up to it. Yuuji accepts who he is, how he is not so different from Mahito. He discards any pretence of high and mighty reasons for why Mahito should die and embraces his hate. He's not pretending to be any better than Mahito, no "I'm not gonna kill you because I'm not like you", he says with absolute senserity that he will kill Mahito as many times as it takes. He's gonna hunt him down just like Mahito did. It's also the start of Yuuji giving into the role jujutsu society has put him in and starts thinking of himself as a cog, a mere object that serves others and blindly obeys its function (killing curses). I think getting Sukuna out of his body was the start to him evolving past that thinking, but this was a very necessary step. He needs to be broken down before being build back up. It was a great end for Mahito as a character as well.

3. Kenjaku & Tengen get Sukuna's body

This whole scene is so interesting. Like in the first moment it's basically just Kenjaku talking to their hand puppets again, but this time there's a bit more outside input. Ngl, the mere fact that Kenjaku and Tengen are together, talking to each other and working with each other excites me already. There's not much of Tengen's consciousness left and she can't actually refuse anything Kenjaku does, but their interactions were still very fascinating. What's also interesting is how they (both of them) treat Sukuna's corpse. They stroll up to it so casually, as if they have done it in the past. Kenjaku asks Tengen if they can take it and she says yes, but neither of them consider Sukuna and his wishes in all this. Kenjaku even jokes that it's their souvenir for him. It makes me so curious about how they are connected to him and what kind of relationship the three used to have. It gets even better now that we know that Tengen was the one who prepared his corpse (without his knowledge) and Kenjaku was the one who turned Sukuna into a cursed object. These two have clearly passed around Sukuna's corpse between them before. "Do you mind if I take his fingers?" "No, go ahead, I don't need them" This scene gets better and better as the story progresses.

4. MCs meeting Tengen

Speaking of scenes that get better with time, ch145 and 146 have been one of my favourites for a long time. They have to be on this list for how many times I've reread them alone. The more information and backstory we get, the more interesting this whole info dump becomes. There are always little phrases and moments that become a lot more meaning full on a reread. We also got so many hints. Tengen's connection to the Star Plasma Vessels and Six Eyes, Yuki being able to hear the other SPVs, Tengen and Kenjaku's relationship (many hcs were spawned by Tengen casually calling Kenjaku a child and I'm happy to see that many of them are turning out to be true), the first hints at Kenjaku's plan, even though a lot of depth was missing of course and Tengen underestimates some of their reasoning and end goals, and Tengen's utter failure to understand Kenjaku as a person (they aren't even that shy to talk about their reasons, especially to her! grandma please...).

5. Noritoshi preparing to die/visiting his mother

It's this scene of Noritoshi finding his mother again plus the context of her side of the story at the end of the Sakurajima colony and Maki's advice re matricide that really moves me. Probably Noritoshi's best scene so far. I really hope the reason he isn't with the others is because he went back to his mother to finally talk to her openly. I swear, these two are so horrible at communicating. It's so heartbreaking to see Noritoshi lose all will to live and being ready to die in battle to do at least something useful with his life. He dedicated everything to changing the Kamo from within for his mother, only to get kicked out of the clan and find out that his mother has moved on. Everything he has done so far becomes meaningless. However, it is what comes afterwards that makes it even more clear how toxic his mindset was. Noritoshi thinks poetic words about how he's gonna die for his friends, only to be interrupted by Daido and Miyo. It shows that this way of thinking is entirely unnecessary and something he has to break out of. It's what sets him on the right path to reunite with his mother. Kenjaku forced him out of the clan and gave him no way to return. His mother showed him that there is a way to live a happy life despite the abuse both of them suffered from the Kamo clan, it is possible to move on. Daido & Miyo disrupted his suicidal thoughts and took over the fight for him aka he has to rely on others and accept their "help" without giving anythign in return. Maki taught him that there might be a way to reconnect with his mother and that he should ask all the questions he has for her regarding his purpose and name openly. I really didn't care much for Noritoshi before, but this whole arc elevated him so much for me.

[theweeklydiscourse]

i'd be fascinated in seeing you write discourse on throne of glass, it really has a lot to unpack... i love your acotar commentary!

Now that’s an interesting idea! I got halfway through the first book in 2020 before I got distracted by another series, but I picked it up again in 2021 and read all the way to the end in rapid succession. I’d heard about Sarah J Maas’s writing before and I was exposed to some divided opinions on the qualities of her writing. Some hated it, but most people loved it and I decided to read the series so I could draw my own conclusions about the state of her books.

Long story short, I did not like her writing. But, there are certain aspects of TOG that make me prefer it to ACOTAR.

But, I read the series all the way through so I could make an informed assessment and critique of her writing without getting things wrong. Like you said, there is a lot to unpack and if I decide to reread the series at some point I’ll definitely write about it. Off the top of my head I have about three things in the TOG series (in no particular order) that have captured my attention.

1) The books in the Throne of Glass series should not be nearly as long as they are

One of my professors always told us to make every word count in our essays to create concise writing and I wish Maas had an editor who would tell her the same thing. Many of the books in TOG are bloated and could be improved if Maas would just cut down on some of the material in her books. There’s a lot of unnecessary fluff that pads out nearly all of her novels and it makes the pacing of the story very poor and uneven. This is particularly noticeable in her habit of creating a vast wasteland of nothing for chapters and chapters before finally reaching the REAL action (at which point the book ends and the reader questions their life choices)

2) The racism in TOG is impossible to overlook

I can’t even discuss Nehemia’s death without raging. Describing the way she died feels so surreal, it’s like Maas shoved her hand into a glass jar of racist tropes and pulled out a handful of them. Another detail I distinctly remember from reading Heir of Fire was when I was reading Sorsha’s description for the first time and noticed that she had “tan” skin and looked like she was of Eyllwe descent and I thought: she’s going to die, isn’t she? AND LO AND BEHOLD, yet another WOC killed in the most brutal way imaginable to advance the character arcs and angst of white characters. I got downvoted to hell on the Throne of Glass subreddit for pointing it out, but it must be said.

3) I was disappointed by Manorian.

This particular grievance is something I’ll elaborate more on in the future because to me, it represents a larger problem in Maas’s writing that should be addressed more often. I intend to write about his more in the future.

Also thank you so much for the compliment! I’m so glad that you liked my commentary on ACOTAR :)

[feraliminal]

Actual episode 70 discussion before I vanish back into the aether to do coursework:

Obligatory meta bit: I’m in the process of reading Interaction Ritual Chains for a draft thesis chapter (which I need to be writing now) and just happened to be halfway through reading the section on remote/virtual rituals when the episode dropped. The book includes stuff like sports events and concerts as rituals, defined as community-building events where people share an experience and get meaningful symbols and stories out of it. But it has a whole section on why this needs to be in-person. I’ve never really done live premieres before because my fandoms tended to be old, but I’ve now got participation observation data to disprove that - it’s definitely a shared experience for the fan community, and we have plenty of stories. Fandom is folk culture!

The appearance of cam-ghosts and Plunger’s interaction with the secret agent was very cool as I love the “sufficiently advanced tech is indistinguishable from the supernatural” trope. The camghosts could have been hallucinations, but there was one peeking around a corner much earlier in the episode. I suspect that there’s some kind of remote connection/Alliance network going on (they’re able to share and broadcast footage, after all, even if they need to use tablets for long range comms), so these could be virtual encounters through the secret agent hacking or otherwise accessing Plunger’s brain - like he’s able to get into the skibidi computer to taunt the scientist. But why (other than exposition and dramatic effect)? Is he trolling because their death is part of his scheme (likely imho), or is he just an incorrigible dick who can’t say “good job” without being sinister?

Transmission error/recording error: is the secret agent signal jamming? And what was that stealth mode? Is it related to the secret agent and the camghosts? Probably.

Unless our two ex-main characters are fixed or downloaded (which I doubt but I did notice that the the tagline was “someone”, which is usually singular), ST is doing Anyone Can Die. If this was being approached as a lolrandom meme thing, that wouldn’t be surprising, and that has been the tone of much of the series so far. However, it’s ascended to the point that there’s an actual Skibidi Toilet store. The longevity of comparable meme horror/sci-fi series has seemed to rely on people getting attached to iconic characters, so I wonder if there’s a plan for avoiding Too Bleak, Stopped Caring? My guess is having the elites and titans consistent throughout the plot, but DFB may also be an incorrigible dick and kill everyone. I am a sucker for dramatic deaths though, so I can probably put up with it (just about, did that speaker squeak as they were dying? Oh no ;_;).

On the subject of trolls, one way of interpreting Titan Speaker putting out the fire before completely flattening the scientist was that they wanted to kill them themself, another interpretation was that they were fucking with the scientist by pretending they’d show mercy. Either way, A+++ revenge!

Polycephaly is also super interesting as they don’t really seem to be the TV equivalent of the others factions’ big combat units. There’s only one of them, they can fuck around with teleportation-stuff (nanites? weird science particles?) and swap out their extra bits. They might have a role that’s unique to the TV faction, I already wondered if it’s something like managing TV communications or information flows, and now I think that could include something to do with teleportation too. Maybe running the teleportation-navigation software? In the Dune series, there’s heavily mutated Guild Navigators who guide faster-than-light spaceships and to make sure no one crashes into a planet, and Warhammer 40k has a similar Navigator role to guide space traffic through the Warp using psychic beacons.

[quinn-types]

I was going to make another meme that was genshin and arknights funny similarities because they both have architects who are also losers but then I realized something:

Kaveh is closest thing Genshin Impact has to Arknights' 'Just Some Guy' trope.

He has no special origin, he was born and raised in Sumeru. He falls for stupid scams all the time. As a child his father went insane with cursed knowledge after he lost a trivia competition and was sent to the desert to die. This is something Kaveh blames himself for because he encouraged his father to compete in the first place. He fights with a claymore he can't physically wield. He has a complicated homoerotic relationship with his roommate but its like one sided 65% of the time cause Kaveh seems to rarely bring up said roommate unless provoked somehow.

He apparently has a genius level intellect. The goddess of wisdom says he's the closest to truly embodying the spirit of wisdom. Kaveh sacrificed his financial well being to complete a commission for a client because of artist integrity. He is technically homeless. He carries an advanced Artificial Intelligence in a box that gives him telepathy or something. This why he can wield that claymore. He has a low alcohol tolerance. His mother was so depressed after her husband's death she had to leave the country to start her healing process, Kaveh was explicitly left behind because of schooling reasons(?). He's got a fatal case of people pleasing.

And somehow— SOMEHOW, on top of all this batshit insanity of a character this man EXUDES Just Some Guy energy. Like Kaveh took one look at Elysium and decided he really wanted what he had. In the meantime he's completely oblivious to the fact thats he's inching his way closet towards Mr. Nothing and Jordi's end of the Just Some Guy spectrum. Like Kaveh is absolutely the type to bumble his way into IS3 and yeah he comes out of that whole ordeal looking like a miserable wet cat 3 seconds from droping dead at the slightest breeze but what's important is he SURVIVED. He can take the HORRORS and keep trucking towards self destruction because that's just Kaveh.

He can't even physically wield his weapon of choice but somehow I feel like I can gamble on him killing God. I think he can do it mostly on purpose. It might kill him in the process but still, I believe in this guy.

[skayafair]

Ep 35-36

Wait, hold on. Do I understand it correctly that J is technically not dead but has just... completed the transformation and had to stay there? And Alyx is changing the same way now? So they can maybe at least be there together in the end? Tough luck, I know.

But damn Beckett! This bastard! >:(((

Cass and Silas, when they get the err relationship bits, make me blush like no other pairing or media ever has. I don't know why but it just feels so personal and real? Gods this podcast is superb in acting and editing. And writing.

I really like Lizzy in the past 2 episodes. She's very relatable and feels fully fleshed now. Also I need someone to give her a good supportive hug. To all of them, really, but to her especially.

I don't want to think of what happened to Allura and how everyone starting with Silas are going to react when the 1st shock is gone. Oh gods.

The gods are pissing me off, by the way, no news here. I half-wish them to turn out to be some kind of an AI because I love the "ancient advanced technologies" trope but we'll see.

I like how emotional and emotionally unhinged these episodes are. Podcasts really don't hold back do they... It's been very difficult to listen to ep 36. It's just... scary and heavy, but not in a horror way. Just in a life way. The worst (meaning the heaviest) part was the call to Silas' mom. I just couldn't believe he'd actually go and do this RIGHT AWAY. FFS! What?! Couldn't wait for a few days?? Or was it planned to announce them all dead all along?

Another thing I really like about Syntax is that the team members are slowly losing their composure the farther they go. Usually in plots like this the characters manage somehow (if the writers even care to make this a point at all) or seem to be just emotionally tough enough to bear basically anything. Team Alpha breaks down little by little until they start doing... dangerous things. They acknowledge they're at the end of their ropes but have no choice but to go forward. Plus before this last breach their situation wasn't as dire. This world seems to be willing to kill them with all it's got. And they aren't coping anymore. I like seeing this narative-wise - it makes them feel like actual living people, not heroes who stay sane no matter what because the story must go on.

I half-wish there was a happy ending where they get everyone they've lost back somehow. Aren't there gods? I thought Lizzy was going to fall and nearly started crying from how scared I was. It seems that since I've got my emotions back a year ago everything that touches my heart gets through with full force with no filter normal people have to not worry for characters as much as in real situations. Oh well. I'll ascribe that to great acting. But I also feel this isn't that kind of a story. It's not even about the deaths losing their impact - as someone who hates and fears this topic altogether I'd say no death can be made meaningless by coming back to life, because life is priceless no matter how one looks at it. No. It's just... they aren't coming back. And that's really grim. Usually I drop such stories because... really, I have enough grim and dark things irl. And just like most shows for the last few decades, it keeps getting darker. I seek solace and escape in stories. Others' suffering doesn't make me feel better - it adds to the one here, irl. But also... there's some kind of hope that still lingers in Syntax? And I've already got too attached to the characters to drop it. I hope it won't fail me like this. That there's some... point or meaning at the end of this road, that all they went through wasn't for nothing. Although I don't even know what this would mean now.

Well. I know the story is good when I can't drop it even despite all the triggers. It's just pity it started as a feel good series with mostly just adventures and exploring and went on like this for 2 seasons, and now I postpone listening to it because I need to pull myself together to face what's going on there. I guess I can still relisten to those 2 seasons as a feel good thing though 😅

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

Okay, just got back from Wakanda Forever. Spoilers after the cut. Just one thing everyone needs to know: there's a post-credit scene after the first credits but nothing after the long ones. Don't wait.

Today I was reminded of why I became a fan of Marvel years ago. I have a few nitpicks but overall the movie is pretty great, Shuri is absolutely AMAZING throughout the entire film and this was a worthy sequel to the first one.

First things first, the funeral of T'Challa was handled beautifully: as a celebration. Of him, of life, of what he represented. It was beautiful and heartbreaking but so, so lovely. The entire film is a love letter for him.

Shuri is astounding and I really like how they handled her character throughout the entire story. First, after the loss of her brother she's mostly suppressing everything, probably still in shock and hiding behind her work. Then, after her mother's death she wants vengeance and towards the end... she finds acceptance. Love it.

Oh that's another thing, we see so many women in this movie. Each of them with their own story, it truly was a joy to watch. This is what feminism is truly about, Marvel. Women with their own arcs, personalities, agency, strength shown in a million different ways and partnerships with other men. GIVE US MORE OF THIS.

One nitpick is they spent too much time underwater. I would have preferred that time spent in Wakanda instead.

Namor's character is okay (I'm a Spaniard so I'll keep certain... thoughts... to myself). The hypocrisy in his actions and thoughts was clear and I gotta highlight the scene he has with one of his people after Shuri has spared his life.

I get hero movies do this thing where the good guy takes the high road and thinks not killing the villain makes them a better person or something. Ok fine, not a huge fan of that trope but whatever, it doesn't bother me all that much. What I LOVED about the movie is that they kept that scene of Namor where he's telling one of his kind that he's going to use this to their advantage, that his plans are still in play and he still wants to wage a war against the surface.

Films don't usually do that, they go the route of "villain sees the hero display goodness and he becomes good automatically". That's bullshit. I'm glad this one didn't do that.

I also loved the callbacks to CW with the line of "vengeance consuming" them.

I'm not a fan of how they handled Erik, though. I felt they somewhat... retconned his purpose in the first movie? Maybe it's just me but he wasn't doing it for the black people who live outside of Wakanda, he wanted a war and that was the excuse. The one who wanted to help others was Nakia. She did, in fact, and T'Challa followed suit.

Also, not a fan of how Namor assumes Wakanda doesn't have allies. I find it so, so hard to believe that a country as tech-advanced as them wouldn't have the entire southern hemisphere by their side. I get the feeling they might mean no one in the Western world would be on their side which is hard to believe but sure, I get it. The rest of Africa, though? I don't like the idea that Wakanda doesn't have allies. Hopefully in future installments they'll show that's not true.

And that post-credit scene... is Marvel collecting kids these days?

One more nitpick. When Ramonda demotes Okoye and effectively kicks her out of the Doras, I would have wanted to hear from her. She's a warrior who has devoted her entire life to Wakanda, and her demotion was completely unfair, I would have wanted her to defend herself.

I loved M'Baku in this one.

PS. I gotta say I was surrounded by the greatest audience you can possibly have. The Marvel intro only showed footage of Chadwick and the silence in the room was insane. You couldn't hear a damn thing. And in the end absolute silence during Rihanna's song as well. You always hear nightmare stories about people's behaviour in theatres but damn, today's audience was spectacular.

I almost forgot. i won't complain about this because I didn't see anyone marketing this movie as queer rep but there's one line where Ayo says "my love" to another woman. That's it. Marvel are so progressive, aren't they... 🙄

Overall, I'll give this one a 8/10. It's a good contained story that works wonders as a standalone (as far as sequels go that is, you need the first one), it takes the time to develop the main character and provides scenes for the audience to breathe. It certainly feeds into the longer narrative of the MCU universe but it doesn't waste time trying to keep the audience looking forward, you can pause and focus on the story on the screen, that's super refreshing to see in Phase Four.

Please Marvel, give us more of this.

[purplekoop]

With a late night surge of inspiration I think I've finally figured out how "Heart's" unique tanking ability works, as well as its name: Guardian Field. It's a bit complex, but the basic idea is that she gives all nearby allies a 50% damage reduction, but the damage she reduces is instead redirected into her. If an attack would normally do 100 damage hits a protected ally, they take 50 damage and so does Heart. To offset the increase in damage she takes, Heart also has a 50% damage reduction of her own with no strings attached, other than the fact that headshots ignore the reduction completely. In addition, while the ability is active, she has access to her Core Shield, which is a separate health pool that can't be healed but instead recharges passively over time. This ability also has no cooldown, it can be activated and deactivated freely with only a minor delay, but instead it uses a resource meter. The ability also can't be used if Heart is below 30% of her max HP. You can't be killed by damage absorbed from an ally, it will only take you to that 30% minimum no matter what. There's a few more semantics to how exactly it all works, but those are the key details.

Heart also has a supplementary defensive ability called Nullifying Pulse, which should be familiar to TF2 fans or anyone who's been paying attention to Role Requeue. She unleashes a special blast of energy as a projectile that does no damage to enemies, but instead deletes other opposing projectiles. The logistics of this are almost exactly how I described Role Requeue Sojourn's ability in the same slot. Its role in this kit is to be a more direct way to deny damage in advance rather than merely redistribute it, though at the cost of reduced uptime and flexibility. It also doesn't work against beam or melee damage, but those are limited in range anyways.

I'm satisfied with what these two abilities do for defining Heart's role as a tank who specializes in damage negation and working with teammates, rather than raw damage like Navea or positioning control like Formann. Plus, her personality also feels super well-defined already. She cares for others to a dramatic degree, literally sharing their pain with the power of her heart.

Issue: her defense is solid, but she's gotta be able to shoot back, and I don't know how exactly she'll go about that. The struggle of figuring out her weapon is trying to think of something that's thematically and functionally appropriate, while also not overlapping with anything another character does, at least not severely.

The "theme" part is one issue on its own. I try to give every character a subtler supplementary theme to their main playstyle make them stand out from similar characters in other games. Xenir isn't just another engineer character, they're a digging-themed engineer. Yanno isn't just another rocket-shooting soldier, he shoots fireworks as an art form. Sometimes this theme is what defines the character more than a more general archetype, such as in the case of Martinet. For Heart, her potential theme may come from my intended design for her. I mentioned that her general stylistic theme is to use feminine design tropes for a tanky character, and the main way she achieves "tank size" is by having a large ball gown to greatly increase her silhouette in a unique way. This could inform her stylistic theme in a few ways, such as by giving her a weapon that somehow references sewing or other means of working with fabric. A friend's DnD character actually uses a combination of a sewing machine and a crossbow as their weapon, which is a super interesting design concept that. doesn't quite work here thanks to the existence of Arber. Not to say that there can't be two crossbow-wielding characters in the cast, but it feels weird to have a limited roster size and then proceed to include two characters with very explicitly similar weapons. Maybe fitting her larger stature, Heart's weapon is more of a full-on handheld ballista, but that still just feels like a big crossbow, as funny as I find it. I'm stumped on what other kinds of sewing-themed weapons there could be, since while I like the vague concept, nothing mechanically unique sticks out to me.

This then leads to the other issue: the functional requirements. The rest of Heart's kit makes a uniquely shaped hole that her weapon could fill. Obviously right now, she lacks any means of dealing damage, so that'd hopefully be something her weapon fixes. I also wouldn't want to give her another directly defensive ability since she already has two, one more than the other tanks so far. I say directly defensive because one trait of her weapon I have in mind is lifesteal. Due to her main utility relying on her soaking up a ton of damage, I think it'd make sense for her to have a way to offset this damage, and lifesteal with her weapon makes sense for how to do it. That said, I don't want this weapon to be too strong, at least to the point of defining her kit. She's a defender and only fights back for the sake of defending, so her weapon shouldn't be too powerful to account for how well she can deny enemy attacks. Another thing the weapon needs to provide is two buttons. A left click and a right click. This is just how the game's kits work, but it presents a mild challenge when coming up with one attack is hard enough. A vague idea I have for her alt fire is that it's a crowd control ability of some kind to more aggressively dissuade an attacker, but I don't want Heart to feel too annoying to fight against considering she's already such a denial-focused character. I give her a ranged stun or something of similar effect and she's basically just a more gimmicky variant on OW2's Orisa, and while I don't think that character is too heinously oppressive, I can understand why she's frustrating to fight against. "Nope, you can't hit my team effectively. Oh and I just ate your big cooldown projectile. Also hey now you're stunned so I canceled your other cool ability. Hope you don't mind."

So that's the criteria: "Weapon that fits a big fancy lady with a big fancy dress, does respectable but not insanely high damage, has lifesteal of some kind, and either has two firing modes or an associated cooldown-based ability for alt fire, all while not overlapping with any of the rest of the cast or their unlockable weapon variants". Simple.

If anybody's got suggestions for this then replies, reblogs, and asks are as open as ever. I'm so close to getting Heart on par with the rest of the cast, and she's a character I'm super excited about. Also yeah just a reminder, "Heart" is her placeholder name, she's due for a real one too but hey hey calm down, we got time. I got ideas for how to get ideas. In the meantime... yeah I've been checking the poll results, I really gotta get in a Role Requeue this week... stay tuned?

[bibaybe]

i'll ask you things!

2, 14, 19, 23, 27, 41, 49, 50

hell yeah thank you my savior!!

2. Of the ones you've written, what's your slowest slowburn? How slow is it?

technically unwritten most of my ocs are lmao. but bay and leo are definitely the slowest! they don't get together until the trials of apollo series and they meet pretty early on in the lost hero. there's - at the very least, given i haven't decided which book they get together in - 6 books before they get together.

14. Are there any relationship dynamics/tropes you want to write in the future, but haven't yet?

i want to write more breakups! i've realized lately that most of my ocs only have one relationship during the course of their whole story, and i want to start exploring breakups and the dynamics after, along with the different reasons people might break up.

but hey, you ever want to see what kind of dynamics i want to explore in future characters, feel free to check out my future character inspo playlist!

19. Pick a work/fandom you've written for. If your couple didn't end up together, who would they get close with with instead?

omg OKAY i was just thinking about this lmao originally willow, my teen wolf oc, was supposed to be a liam ship!! so if willow wasn't head over heels for stiles, she'd definitely had a crush on him, but bc of her will-they-won't-they with stiles, she and liam end up having more of a sibling relationship when she makes it clear she isn't interested

23. Do you think you idealize relationships in fiction, or are your depictions grounded in reality? How often do your characters make mistakes?

lmao i definitely tend to idealize them, which i'm trying to change! my characters tend to be very emotionally healthy, but that isn't super realistic lol. my characters make mistakes pretty often, though some certainly make more than others

27. Do you have any characters who are hopeless romantics? How do they interact with the story?

willow! she's a secret hopeless romantic, but she hides it most of the time. for most of the story, she's getting used to the concept of really being loved, platonically and family-wise, and dealing with a seemingly unrequited crush, so it's not until season 5 that we really get to see her outwardly express her hopeless romantic tendencies. she really wants true love and will devote herself to the people she loves, but this is really shown when stiles kills donovan in s5 and she barely blinks before keeping his secret, no questions asked. all she wants is the same in return, and she gets that with stiles.

41. Who's your most repressed/oblivious character? Who's your most aware character? What makes them different?

carter is probably my most oblivious character while emika is definitely the most repressed. carter is oblivious in a romantic sense bc she tends to notice george's hints, but she convinces herself they're just friendly advances while emika has repressed most of her feelings due to trauma and it takes a long time for her to start exploring her emotions and allowing herself to feel them.

rika and ruby are probably the most aware of their feelings, but in different ways. ruby is extremely good at reading people and using that to manipulate them, and while rika is similar in that aspect, she's also very emotionally aware and is forever burying her feelings in order to survive the borderlands.

49. What's your favorite relationship dynamic that you've seen in another work of fiction? Has this influenced your writing at all?

PERCY AND ANNABETH CHASE. willow and stiles have been influenced by them so much - the devotion to each other, the willingness to go to hell for each other - they're the fucking blueprint. i can only aspire to write a relationship so well. they're everything to me.

50. Free space! Brag on yourself! Advertise your writing! What are you most proud of recently?

screaming i haven't posted anything in forever help.... OKAY went through my drabbles and this is probably my favorite thing i've posted! it's about jordan and will's first kiss and i really like how i wrote the kiss itself -

Instead, Jordan pushes himself up and Will meets him in the middle, noses bumping as they tilt their heads, trying to get the right angle. Jordan giggles at the absurdity of it all but is cut off but Will’s lips pressing against his own. Jordan’s body crackles with electricity as their lips move slowly, uncertainly, against each other. His ADHD brain latches onto the feeling of Will’s hands, slack against his shoulder, pinkie rubbing his skin lightly. Every inch of him begs him to move closer, to touch him in some way, but he holds himself back, focusing instead on memorizing how their lips fit together, the chapped skin digging into his lips in a way that sends delighted shivers through his body. 

idk its just sweet and he's pining so hard and for someone whose never been in a relationship, i like to think i did a good job lmao

thanks so much for asking!! loved answering these :)

ask game / ask me!

[dreamwritesimagines]

It’s CMA, taking notes as always:)-

Sorry in advance this is so fucking long. I don’t know if I’ll be allowed to send this all in one ask but we will see lol. This is actually more than I write for some essays. Like you’re going to have to click expand and be like holy shit. Anyway feel free to ignore my rambling shitty literary analysis at the end lolololol.

At least she can recognize that she’s being a hypocrite when it comes to being horny for Ben lmfao

(side note but I love that you write characters with believable flaws that make them more endearing and not less. And that they try to be better but they’re not perfect; that’s so real and I think that it’s a really hard line to walk and most people can’t/don’t. Anyway it’s being in awe of dreams writing hours again, which is all day every day)

The asking an annoying question and then immediately getting mad at herself internally- that’s such a mood lmfao

SHE SAID THAT THEYRE GOING TO STILL BE TOGETHER IN THE AFTERLIFE AODKNSNFBF I know it was a joke but also OMG CLOVER could you be any more obvious/oblivious!???!??!!

Also her complimenting him so heavily and it not being because she wants to kiss his ass but being genuine, and her not thinking that that says anything about her and her character wowkkfnfjrhthhf

Wait if he goes to Italy for the art academy, will she go with him? What about teddy??? I mean hopefully they’re over their codependent-ness by then, esp. since he has Josie and is learning to live with their aunt and uncle and everything, but still!!! Maybe Colin will take him to visit them…. All assuming he does go to the academy Ofc

Okay but does Josie know flowers and/or was she just fucking with clover? Anyway that’s also so relatable cuz I can’t draw for shit either lol

OH MY GOD DID HER PARENTS BREAK HER WRIST?!????!!!??!!!?!!!?!! THATS SO FUCKED UP!!!!!!!! (I mean I know we know that they were bad, but still getting the details makes me want to strangle them. I’m so nervous for when they come to town because I will want to strangle them every single moment of it lol; I already do!)

SHES TOO HORNY TO FOCUS!!!!! Lmfaoooo love that for her

He’s so cute telling her that she’s great at art even though he helped her!! He’s so sweet and I love that he wasn’t willing to let her think badly of herself for one second before doing everything in his power to prove him wrong

THE SEXUAL TENSION IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!! (And them too by the looks of it Lmfao)

LMFAO I vaguely remember us talking about Percy buying Anthony and Cherie’s kids ponies in a headcanon for enamored. I love that that trend is popping up again haha

THERES ONLY ONE BED TROPE MY BELOVED (or in this case: there’s actually two beds but they’re CHOOSING to share a bed, which is arguably even better) cuddling/sharing a bed to keep the nightmares away my beloved

Also they’re going from her locking the door on him to sharing a bed AHHHHH I’m so excited for them!!!!

PILLOW WALL MY BELOVED (okay I need to stop calling every single trope my beloved. It’s true but I don’t need to say it. I need a new word lmfao)

Am I sensing some foreshadowing where her heart is going to break and she feels like she’s dying, similar to what happened to cherie??? I hope not, she’s been through enough angst already. Though it would probably be something like he goes to a party to paint and she assumes the worst- the whole acting like she’s being retraumatized all over again even when she’s not.

“When are you free” “whenever you want me too” AIFJNFNDJFNFNDNFB it’s like he’s saying that he’s always free to do things for her and hang out with her and do whatever she needs.

This fic is killing me with the one million ways to say I love you without saying it and I fucking love it so much!!!!!!!!!!! It’s the words of affirmation and the acts of service and gifts and time spent together and listening and every single little thing they do for one another!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AUGH I love them SO much!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They way that he gives her complete control and isn’t condescending about it but genuinely wants her input and for her to decide what’s best. For her to choose what will make her comfortable and not force her to do anything. It’s the way that he suggests things as being optional where she can turn it down or choose how it’s done, and let’s her make her own choices and take control of what happens to her. I don’t know if I’m articulating myself properly but it just gets me so fucking soft and I love it SO much.

It’s the way that he never wants to do something that so much as even makes her uncomfortable, and the way that he does everything in his power to take care of and nurture her. I swear to god I know I’m rambling but I can’t help it; I’m just so in love with them and this story.

I also love that he’s close with his mom, which is such a minor detail that we knew about all the bridgerton siblings, but still- it’s so cute!!

“As my lady wishes” DREAM ARE YOU TRYING TO FUCKING KILL ME BECAUSE CONGRATS ITS WORKING

At least she realizes how fucking domestic they sound- does he?

I love the contrast of this story with enamored. Cherie and Anthony were a huge roller coaster of emotions, not because of anything in particular but because cherie just happens to be a very dramatic person. It’s not that the highs and lows were fabricated, but more so that they were very abrupt and very dramatic.

On the other hand we have Ben and clover, who are not very dramatic at all. The tension comes from them not being dramatic actually- the pining, the slow-burn- whereas there wasn’t as much of a slow-burn in enamored- Anthony and cherie both gave in rather quickly and let themselves be swept away in it, whereas clover is very much hanging on and resisting.

This does say a lot about clover too though because I don’t think that she could handle the dramatic ups and downs of cherie and Anthony’s relationship, nor would she want to. Cherie had a single trauma that affected her entire life, but she still had a mother that loved and took care of her and raised her in a relatively normal manner. Clover on the other hand had a prolonged series of abuse with no reprieve, no safe space, and no safe adult.

The differences in their trauma literally shape who they become- cherie decides to believe in love against all logic because she thinks that love will prevent her from being traumatized again and because she had a parent who loved her, so she knows that that love exists, and clover decides to believe against trust and love at all costs because she can’t afford to be hurt again. She doesn’t see the world as being worth loving or trusting because she’s never received that sort of love; she’s only given it, which has resulted in nothing but pain for her, so she rejects the very idea of it.

Also cherie was reacting from what she knew- her parents’ and subsequently her trauma was a very sudden, very dramatic event. It was if you hurt me once, you’ve lost me forever, and her being taught that really shows in her relationship with Anthony. She shows the dramatic highs and lows, and how she clings on so tightly because it will all be taken away if one wrong move is made, and we see her react that way throughout the story.

Clover is also reacting to what she knows- she believes that people cannot be trusted, that there’s something inherently wrong with them, or with her, that renders her incapable of trusting them. She is also in a constant state of stress because of the nature of her trauma- it was prolonged and constant and she never knew when it was going to go down; she had absolutely no warning. Whereas cherie uses things like Anthony “cheating” as a sign that trauma is imminent, but otherwise functions well as long as that sign is not present, clover never has any sign of when the trauma will arrive; for all she knows, it’s already there and she acts as if it is.

Actually you see this reflected in Anthony too a bit because of the suddenness of his father’s death and the immediate burden it placed upon him especially, whereas Ben didn’t have that pressure and was able to learn to cope more freely and for longer, both of which shaped who they would eventually become, with Anthony being repressed and unable to properly process/handle his emotions and benedict embracing his feelings and being emotionally aware of himself.

You definitely see how they, despite being brothers with the same trauma, had two different trauma responses and how this affects their future relationships. Benedict is able to go slow and care for clover because he’s learned how to care for himself. He’s learned how to listen and embrace whatever she’s feeling without judgement because he does it everyday. Anthony on the other hand can’t go slow- he rushes into things without thinking because he’s terrified that if he waits for even a moment to think about what he’s feeling or going through, that he’ll be too late. It’s his whole thinking irrationally that he’s going to die young thing all over again; he doesn’t have time to embrace his emotions, he is just controlled by them.

This is why cherie and Anthony have such a chaotic relationship- they’re both assuming they’re going to be abandoned/abandon the other, and they treat their relationship that way. It’s very rushed with no control because they feel like they need to savor every moment they have together, and it results in complete and utter chaos- passion at the expense of reason.

On the other hand, Ben and clover also react to their own relationship the way they’ve been taught. She’s slow and cautious so that she can retreat at any moment and protect herself, and he’s slow because he’s not afraid of being abandoned or hurt; he lives and loves with very little regard to himself. He also recognizes that he could ruin everything by rushing in too quickly- he’s smart about it and thinking about each step rationally.

This is really ironic because Anthony is usually considered the stoic, emotionless, and logical brother whereas Ben is usually assumed to be controlled by his emotions, whereas it’s really Anthony who is controlled by his emotions because he lives in fear of them, but benedict is able to control his because he’s embraced them. It’s a really, really fascinating analysis about emotional health- not feeling things is deceptively and significantly worse than actually being able to sit with your emotions and live with them. Repressing emotions only gives the illusion of being in control, when it actually surrenders them and gives them the power to control you.

I really like Ben and clover (in case you couldn’t tell lolololol) because it shows two people who are choosing to be kind despite what the world has thrown at them. With Anthony and cherie, as much as I love them, it felt like a very slippery slope into passion with very little control. There’s something beautiful about Ben and clover choosing to be there for one another. Ben is choosing to be patient and wait for her and take care of her- it’s a very emotionally conscious sort of love, and clover is choosing to keep inching forward despite her fear.

That’s not to say that Anthony and cherie didn’t choose one another- they certainly did, but I’m not entirely convinced that either of them were the only ones for one another. I mean we even see this when clover could have chosen Pierre or someone else at any point and Anthony could’ve chosen sienna or anyone else. They chose one another when they had other options, but they still had other options, whereas I don’t see clover with any other options.

I know Ben has other options, so he’s still choosing clover but not every person in the ton would be patient and willing enough to sit with her to go at her own pace.

I also think it’s almost like gaining the trust of an animal, let’s say a dog. If you gain the trust of one that was raised in a loving home and loves people, then that’s great! That love is super special and deserves cherishing. But you didn’t work for it and it’s not particularly hard for any person in the world to earn the love of that dog if something happens to you.

But if you have a dog that’s been hurt before and doesn’t trust anyone, and you put in the love and patience without rushing it, then you and that dog have a bond for life. Then there is an inherent, earned sense of trust that is fragile at first but also the strongest that could be. That trust is special because not everyone could’ve earned that trust; there’s not the sense that it could’ve been given away at any given moment because it won’t be.

Of course this isn’t a perfect analogy and isn’t to say that there’s anything wrong with an instantly loving dog, just that they’re very different and there’s value in a relationship that takes hard work and is forged over a long period of time.

With Anthony and cherie, their relationship was a sprint. They both acted like any moment could be their last and every step matters. Clover and Ben’s relationship is a marathon- you don’t know how long it will take, but you know that even if you’re tired you can’t give up. Even if you stumble once, that’s not as important as if you keep going. One foot in front of the other, just keep going. When you reach the end of a marathon, in a lot of ways it feels much sweeter because it took longer and more willpower. Even though it hurts more, you end up accomplishing something far greater.

And don’t get me wrong, I love cherie and Anthony, as you very well know. It’s just that I have a soft spot for people who choose to be together. And people who choose to be shelters in storms for those who are hurting.

Okay this is an essay and I don’t even know if tumblr will let me send this all in one ask, and there’s so much more to say but my thumbs are tired and I need to eat LOL.

Sorry this is so long lol, I just get really excited (as you know lol) and I love love love literary analysis when it’s not being done for a class LOL.

Okay love u see u when u answer this in a day or so!!!

CMA MY LOVE!

Omg I’m so ready for this and I’m incredibly excited, I have been thinking of this ask the whole day! ❤️

So first of all, NEVER EVER apologize for this because you know how much I love long asks and analyses! 🥰 You’ve made my whole day with this! ❤️

I’m so gonna fangirl over you btw😍❤️❤️

She can totally recognize that she’s being a hypocrite when it comes to that YES 😂  And that will happen a lot❤️

Aw it is so wonderful to hear that! ❤️ I really try to pay attention to character flaws and make sure to include them and their influence over their behavior and such so it’s such good news for me! 😍 I think character flaws actually make the character more like…real and relatable 😁

Omg you noticed that detail aaaaaa! 😍 She jokes about being together in the afterlife and she doesn’t even realize what it means or how she is getting more comfortable with the idea of being with him 😏

She believes in him wholeheartedly and they will actually have a convo about that in the next chapter!

Oh he wants to get into the art academy in England love, not in Italy 😁 They were just talking about one of the artists that helped build the one in Italy ❤️ But I do think that if he went to the art academy in Italy, Clover would go with him too at least until the end of his time and training there ❤️ But like, they wouldn’t spend the rest of their lives in Italy for sure❤️

Josie has some idea about flowers but Clover is a terrible artist when it comes to drawing/painting lolll😂

The wrist thing… Oh we will learn about that wrist thing 😈

Listen, unresolved sexual tension and yearning will be such an ongoing theme in the following chapters and we will have so much fun with it! 😂

Benedict is always ready to encourage her no matter what she’s insecure about 🥰

The ponyyyy yes! ❤️ I couldn’t use it in the actual chapters of Enamored, so I had to use that one here, it is adorable! ❤️

THERE IS ONLY ONE BED TROPE IS SUCH A GOOD TROPE!😍

There will be much angst going on 😏

one million ways to say I love you without saying it THIS IS SUCH A GOOD WAY TO PUT IT OMG 😍

Exactly! Like, it is incredibly important to Benedict that Clover chooses what is comfortable for her and that she doesn’t feel like she is being forced to do anything she doesn’t want to do ❤️ Unlike many people and couples in the ton, their relationship is totally equal and he will try so hard to make sure Clover sees that ❤️

Benedict has such a good relationship with his whole family and I think soon enough Clover will get so close with his family as well! ❤️

Oh yeah, they sound more and more like a married couple 😂

It is so interesting that you bring this up darling because like, when I was planning this story that contrast was one of the very first things I thought of! ❤️ I try to explore something different in every fic, a different genre or trope or character development but in here one of the first things I decided on was the difference between dynamics❤️

Cherie being a very dramatic person actually set the tone of Enamored in a way, and Clover resisting the idea of love so vehemently and not even realizing the yearning it leads is going to set the tone in GoS ❤️

Oh you’re absolutely right, Clover couldn’t handle the dramatic ups and downs of Cherie and Anthony’s relationship, it would mess her up so badly 💔 In order for her character development to happen, she needs a safe harbor, in a way ❤️ Otherwise she would totally shut down 💔

Their trauma really did shape them! Like, even if Cherie didn’t really have a father growing up, she was still much more privileged than Clover could ever be ❤️ She was very sheltered and coddled and Cassie tried to keep her away from her own trauma of divorce -even though it was impossible to do it completely- Cherie never really witnessed actual heartbreak until she got to London. She believed her parents didn’t love each other so she grew up thinking love was the most important thing in the world, because she had the privilege to do so.

Clover on the other hand was not given that same privilege💔 So she has so many trust issues because of her background, because it’s full of nightmares and trauma 💔

It was if you hurt me once, you’ve lost me forever, and her being taught that really shows in her relationship with Anthony. She shows the dramatic highs and lows, and how she clings on so tightly because it will all be taken away if one wrong move is made, and we see her react that way throughout the story. This is so true!😍

For Cherie, in a way – at least up until a certain point in the story- everything was life or death, she has such a determined way of thinking that she wasn’t really familiar with the “gray” area ❤️ It was yet another thing her parents’ divorce influenced her way of seeing things, especially love and relationships ❤️

clover never has any sign of when the trauma will arrive; for all she knows, it’s already there and she acts as if it is. Yesss because for her it’s always there at the back of her mind! 💔 She basically grew up in survival mode, she had to look out for any and every small change, a difference in one’s tone of voice or even a glance, so she is still very much ready to jump back at the slightest sign of it 💔

Anthony’s trauma response and Benedict’s trauma response are incredibly different than each other and it influenced every single part of their lives, from their personalities to their romantic relationships. That’s also why -from the beginning- Benedict had more chance with Clover than any other person did, he is very observant and he was allowed to figure out his own feelings in everything, he didn’t have to taken on the responsibilities that Anthony did. Benedict was allowed to be himself while Anthony was forced to be the head of the family after their father’s death❤️

This is why cherie and Anthony have such a chaotic relationship- they’re both assuming they’re going to be abandoned/abandon the other, and they treat their relationship that way. It’s very rushed with no control because they feel like they need to savor every moment they have together, and it results in complete and utter chaos- passion at the expense of reason. This is a perfect analysis of their dynamic! 😍

It's so true! Like, Cherie and Anthony had that “rush” throughout their relationship even from the beginning, they were sneaking around, they were keeping things secrets, they were actively looking for unchaperoned moments even if they knew about the consequences and it took them a very long time and a lot of character development to realize that they can actually calm down and control the chaos ❤️

Benedict and Clover’s relationship is the total opposite of it ❤️ While Cherie and Anthony could be incredibly reckless, most of the moments between Benedict and Clover were planned and calm, like Benedict has been incredibly careful to give her that space instead of chaos ❤️

This is really ironic because Anthony is usually considered the stoic, emotionless, and logical brother whereas Ben is usually assumed to be controlled by his emotions, whereas it’s really Anthony who is controlled by his emotions because he lives in fear of them, but benedict is able to control his because he’s embraced them. Definitely!

I think it’s also very interesting because of the dynamics of power and control in both couples. In Cherie and Anthony’s relationship, up until the moment she heard Simon and Anthony in the study, Anthony had been the one in control and he quite liked it, like that was kind of the dynamic between them. It took him the actual danger of losing her forever to learn to let go of that control in their relationship, that was one of the biggest challenges for him in terms of character development❤️

Benedict and Clover on the other hand are very different than that, because up until the moment they got caught, there was not an instance or a time where they were together and Clover wasn’t in control. And she knew it, that was why she was so comfortable to be around him even unchaperoned❤️ Even when their first kiss happened, though Benedict was the one who told her he would kiss her if she didn’t walk away, she was the one who took the first step, she was the one who pulled the cigarette from his lips so that he could kiss her ❤️ Clover has been setting the pace in their relationship from the very beginning, Benedict just makes sure they can talk and spend time together ❤️

Oh yeah, Cherie and Anthony’s romance was very out of control throughout the story, Clover and Benedict on the other hand are moving much more carefully and with so much patience ❤️

They definitely had other options in terms of marriage! But I also think after meeting one another, they would always be in love with each other even if they married other people❤️

I actually don’t think there is anyone in the ton that Clover would have the dynamic and romance she has with Benedict! ❤️ The same for Benedict, I think something would feel missing 😁They are meant for each other and we will see many scenes with it! ❤️

Oh I totally get that analogy, yes! ❤️ And working for that trust creates a very strong bond ❤️

Sprint vs marathon is a wonderful way to put it! ❤️ Anthony and Cherie were very impulsive, and Benedict and Clover are more…like, they’re more in control ❤️ It will take them a very long time to be open with each other -at least on Clover’s part- but it will also make them fall for each other even more ❤️ Especially for Clover, she is not the person to fall for someone that suddenly and willingly like Cherie ❤️ Cherie spent her whole life wishing and waiting for her love story, so when she finally got it she was so happy that she didn’t think about slowing down 😂 Clover on the other hand spent her whole life repeating over and over again how she would never fall in love, so it will be a very different process for her ❤️

DARLING-

I am hugging you virtually, like…. You have no idea how much it means to me that you wrote this, you have made me incredibly happy! 🥰 You are so talented with literary analysis and symbolism and also reading the characters and between the lines! ❤️ This ask gave me so much inspiration and also made me think of the story in very different ways with different perspective 🥰 And I learned a lot about the dynamics of the characters and I’m just like, so excited to use it in the story! 🥰😍❤️

I re-read this the whole day over and over again and I am still in awe of it ❤️  I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU’RE SO AMAZING OMG ❤️

[ourodroouros]

ORT and Subliminal Bigotry: A paranoiac leap

This is a little long. There is discussion of Nasu, xenophobia, racism, and some weirdo thoughts. under the cut contains all of this, so if you are looking for thoughts on lostbelt 7’s whiteness, here you go. also spoilers.

No introduction needed—just look at this thing.

This is what will destroy the planet; a big, foreign, jet-black alien. On the flip-side is that thing’s heart:

Now, for good measure, here’s Camazotz:

These are the two major antagonists of the Lostbelt, besides Daybit and Tezcatlipoca. The one thing in common is that they’re both black, blood-sucking vampires. The story slowly codes specific characters as darker skinned to depict their motifs and their role in the story, and weirdly, it begins with clothes. I made a list:

U-Olga Marie and her tacky ass weird ass design. She is promptly turned into a good guy.

Rasputin, or Kirei Kotomine. He wears a black-ish robe with blue. He’s basically sort of on the side of the heroes.

Daybit and Tezcatlipoca, who both are insanely pasty people, are the bad guys here. They both wear clothing that is jet-black and modern—an allegiance to ORT.

The Black Panther Guy. His army is faceless and has masks, setting up the motif of mask = faceless enemy. You can’t see their emotions.

Kingprotea Alter, who wears latex. She is white, but the latex makes it near impossible. When she dons the mask, she becomes a faceless hostile enemy. When it’s off, she is the gentle white woman.

Nitocris Alter, who serves as “the token dark skin” of Chaldea. She becomes an Alter solely to fight against the evil, destructive Camazotz who goes berserk. At this point, alter is coded as “dark” in the Fate series, so the clear distinction is made that Alter here literally notes a character’s melanin.

Ereshkigal Alter, who is another dark skin. After Nitocris goes, she fills this role.

Camazotz, who is a blood-sucking vampire. He’s the only character who remains fully antagonistic throughout (besides ORT), and transforms into his beast state out of grief and rage. He is literally the de-facto dark-skin here.

ORT, who is jet-black. While without his heart, he is white, ORT progressively advances color after color, reaching a state of brown / bronze before being eliminated. He has no face (repeating the masks as a faceless), and serves as the hostile, Chaldea hating wall.

This escalation is important—it depicts an increasing level of hostility through melanin until we reach the level of blackness. ORT unironically shares fears of destruction from an outsider (he’s an alien) destroying the beautiful nation (which is nahui mictlan), a common conspiracy pointed towards immigrants and other minorities (especially blacks), and ORT steals powers to get stronger and stronger to kill his enemies faster and more efficiently. By the time you reach the Beast Class of Camazotz, you are used to the usual trope of sympathizing with the Beast; they’re people, after all, and they want to change the world in their own stagnant, awful ways. ORT, however, is different. ORT is literally not from here, and ORT doesn’t care.

Veering off this topic, for a moment, which does relate, Nasu depicts America as having the worst magecraft.

TYPE-MOON wiki summarizes here: “[…] but it is also known to be aiming for the complete degradation of Magic into Magecraft through the advancement of human technology. On bad terms with the Clock Tower due to its apparent hostility to the concealment of Mystery as enforced by the Assocation.”

I am bringing this up specifically because primarily, America has been given a bad rap in the Nasuverse. Yes, america sucky doodoo it’s racist and borderline fascist. But it’s mostly because it’s *outside* Japan. What I am positing sounds weird, but Nasu has been known for not really liking his international audience. Authors tend to insert their beliefs into their works, and so Nasu is literally shitting on America. He has always not liked the place. And the thing is that this is easily connected to Nasu’s fear of space — he’s afraid of the damn solar system! He’s afraid of what’s out there! America and his foreign audience can be scary, it can be insane! Hence, his reluctance to get official TLs of Mahoyo, Tsukihime, and other Fate works until very recently.

Veering back to ORT, the reason why I am saying all of this is because ORT is representative of the unknown. The Nasuverse has been known for it’s antiblackness and sometimes flagrant disrespect of deities outside of Britain and Japan (The Australia debacle, for one), and ORT serves as like, this weird “colonizer” metaphor. The black alien monster is going to destroy this beautiful culture, this beautiful world, and I have to stop it, because if I don’t, I can’t get back home. It’s impossible to reason or talk to it or do anything except fight it. It’s not a leftist thing at all. It’s more like James Cameron’s Avatar where it’s a conservative film, fighting off the “globalist” humans in the name of nationalistic interest. And it doesn’t help that ORT is basically the face of blackness here, as far as a reach it may sound. He is the culmination of these themes in Lostbelt 7 surrounding these characters.

Kukulkan also is a major factor in this—when ORT lost his heart, it became *white*. Weak. Kukulkan is white, though, and she’s really nice… she’s strong… she wants to have sex with you…

And really, that’s ORT’s heart! It’s beating, living heart! ORT without it is just an angry angry shell that raves and roars for bloodlust (like it already wasn’t), and ultimately Nasu creates no avenues to talk to ORT. It’s not the point. ORT is the enemy. But we can romance a piece of ORT—the piece that is kind, the piece that loves, the piece that is a whitey, and the rest is trying to attain it’s blackness again so it can finish everyone off.

See, historical accuracy is something I ignore for Fate. It’s impossible. But ORT is not real—and is conducive to a strange reading of antiblackness. This fear that this foreigner, the most powerful thing in existence, is a giant black spider monster who is faceless and can’t talk, and hates you, wants you, your family, your nation dead, and it’s coming, and it will kill you.

Maybe I’m just overthinking this. Maybe ORT being jet-black was just the nightmare vision.

[chaotic-guinea-pig]

for the tier list ask meme, there was only one bed, cuddling for warmth, and hanahaki disease?

YAY THANK YOU FOR THE ASK ANON! (ask meme here!!) There was only one bed: A I AM A HUGE, HUGE SUCKER FOR THIS TROPE!! If I see a fic with tag, I CLICKY. This trope works so well for many ship dynamics: fake dating, mutual pining, best friends to lovers, bodyguard romance... I could go on! I love it when they go "we're mature , it doesn't mean anything", but then wake up to cuddling shenanigans the next morning and get conflicted over the feels and HHHHHHHH. All in all, a really fun and sweet trope that's good at advancing the relationship between characters!! Cuddling for warmth: B

ALSO ANOTHER REALLY SWEET TROPE! I haven't read a fic with this trope in a while (last time was from another fandom I'm not apart of anymore) but from what I remembered, it's just so intimate and often the descriptions are very fluffy! And bonus points if they're mutually pining for each other. :) But yeah, this is more a trope I enjoy the most when I'm in the mood for sappy things. Hanahaki disease: Between C and D Okkk I have pretty mixed feelings about this trope. On one hand, I think it makes for truly heartbreaking, angst stories but... I'm not a fan of how most fics execute it? Idk. I'm not a big fan of it when it's played straight. Though I like it better when the love is not actually unrequited from the start; I'm not sold on where the love interest suddenly returns the affections. And as an aroace, I do find it amusing when the cure to the disease is to not feel love at all, and the characters struggle with that. "I would rather die than not feel love at all". Me, an aroace person who's never felt romantic love: 🤭 It's one of those tropes that has a lot of creative potential that I think more authors should try to exploit. Like if you think about it - there could be an assassin who could make their target fall in love with them so the flowers would kill them off. There could be support therapy groups, legends about the origins of the disease. You could even experiment with platonic hanahaki!! So yeah TLDR: trope has potential, but not a fan of how most fics execute it. THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THE ASK ANON!!

[bluemillie]

I’m dying to know what these tags mean (from the “if TLT was a YA series” post):

 #Back to YA tropes: ya gray villains are all ‘my morals and actions are objectively correct in this world but i kill people and wear black’#that’s the epitome of bad boy evil

Like, are you agreeing that the YA villains actions *are* correct for their worlds, or are you saying that *they* (the villains) claim that (or that readers do) and you’re making fun it? Could you elaborate on what it means for something to be “the epitome of bad boy evil”? (Also, I kinda want to know which YA villains fit the bill here.)

Also, since I'm not sure how my tone is coming across here: I really am just curious.

I cannot for the life of me find my reblog on that post and hardly remember doing it, but I will do my best to answer from the vague memory of what i was thinking at the time and my present thoughts! I have never been very articulate and have always been quite wordy, though, so I apologize in advance.

First, ‘gray villains’ was a poor choice of words. What i meant was more along the lines of what are supposed to be antiheroes in modern YA. And for if they’re “correct” or not, it depends completely on the media. Sometimes they’re like “i am going to reform these systems that have measurably oppressed the majority for their entire lives, but to do so I must get rid of it’s most adamant supporters who are clearly written pure evil villains who eat babies and kick puppies” and the other characters are like “you’re right, however we can’t kill people to do that :((( you’re just as bad as the villains“ and other times they’re like “my parents were mean to me as a child so now i’m going to start a war” and the readers are like “they’re so right, y’all just only like vanilla characters 🙄”.

The “epitome of bad boy evil” was about REALLY YA characters, who usually don’t have a strong motivation or reasoning behind what they do other than being a kaz brekker wannabe to bait the ppl who like ‘dark’ romance without real substance. Like, from their first introduction you know they’re some edgy or cocky mf who probably wears a too-long coat.

You could compare this to harrow who wears black and kills people, but it also in a space death cult/the reverend daughter of goth and the greatest necromancer of her generation (some would argue). The key here, other than her being a fairly unique character, is that she’s not bait for any particular reader. She’s a failwoman, not someone who comes to mind when you think of dark or edgy romance. Dating harrow would not be living dangerously- it’d be competing with a corpse.

Another good example is Kaz. He is THE bad boy, and I would argue an attractor of those who like dark romance due to his gang status, but he’s got substance. Most people are equally invested in discovering his backstory and following his revenge plot as they are with Inej (tho that’s my aroace ass talking so maybe not lol). And even then, his romance is rocky. It’s a struggle to even touch her and he can’t communicate due to his past rather than just being a tsundere type. And when we see his “softer” side, it’s all about caring for his friends and how the rest of everything soft about him was drowned in the Ketterdamn harbor years ago. It goes beyond sneaking a look at the bad boy with a cat or the bad boy being protective of the female love interest.

I’m not sure I can describe a character that fits either the gray villain/antihero stereotype nor the bad boy one; my ideas of both are kind of an amalgamation of all thing things that tend to turn me away from media. Plus I don’t read a lot of romance, so a fair bit is also drawn from the way people describe the characters online that makes me glad I didn’t read whatever they did. The rest of it is trauma from my middle school wattpad days and the shows my mom watches.

One I do particularly dislike is Eren Yeager. I think he’s a well-written character (ish), but the sheer number of people who are jokingly-and-not justifying him committing worldwide genocide is kind of annoying sometimes.

In the end, this is is all just nitpicking and no big deal. It’s all fictional and about media i don’t ever have to engage with. I was just excited to throw in my least favorite YA tropes and imagine how much more horrible they could be in a tlt YA version. I encourage people to find enjoyment wherever they can, whether it’s something I enjoy or not.

I hope this satisfied your curiosity!

[jeremy-ken-anderson]

The Mirror Match

The Advanced Player of the Tutorial Tower (APTT) has reached a trope that shows up with a lot of powerful characters, particularly if they’re cocky.

A favorite line on the topic comes from Minmax in the comic Goblins! where he says, “Oh god, it’s the one guy who’s butt I’m not sure I can kick!”

To some extent that sums it up, right? The reason behind your Negaducks and other shadow selves is sometimes to delve into a “there but for the grace go I” scenario, but also it’s kind of a chance for the series to delve into or reveal its core philosophy.

If it’s a true Shadow Self instead of just a pure copy, it often wins at first. The lesson expressed is that from a logistical standpoint evil, cruelty, and violence can be powerful but burn through their resources too fast. The support of friends, belief in something greater than oneself, or desire to protect, meanwhile, can be slower to come to full power but reaches a greater height.

It’s honestly hard to tell how much writers want to express these ideas as philosophies, because there’s a natural tendency to write the scene this way anyway, because having the hero lose a bit at first and then have a come-from-behind win is good storytelling.

Another benefit, back to what Minmax said, is that it neatly gets around the typical issue of the OP Protagonist; That is, the “being OP” part. The reason I said it can reveal the underlying philosophy is that it removes a lot of the more mundane comparison-points, math-style, by putting them on both sides of the equation so you can zero them out. Your hero can punch for 22.3 mountains worth of damage? The same is true of the mirror. He can access Lightning Force? Also true of the mirror. You have to then work out what makes the hero a winner independent of those physical attributes. If you don’t have an answer yet, this may be a case where the shadow wins the scene, and your hero has to back off, lick his wounds, and learn something better. 

I’ve talked about a few ways copycat characters can go awry before, when I watched the Copycat Ken episode of Ranma 1/2, but you definitely have to be careful about weird edge cases to avoid making some kind of on-the-spot rule for a neat individual scene that then spreads like ink to ruin your whole worldbuilding tapestry. There was a filler episode in Naruto where the villains made perfect copies of some of the heroes who could use all their moves. After a bunch of nothing back-and-forths with bad animation (it was a filler episode, after all) the conclusion was the heroes won because they could learn and get more skilled over time, and the copies couldn’t. As an idea this is actually pretty cool. The problems are a) This was merely told to us. The movements don’t reflect the idea that the heroes have gotten better at anything; We don’t have a sense that their movements are more considered, or their blows any sharper. b) Almost all of the heroes copied had moves they could use to burn themselves out for temporary extra power. There isn’t a sense that the copies had agency or a strong desire to survive after killing their originals. So why wouldn’t Evil Rock Lee immediately use the gates to power up and either win or force Good Rock Lee to use the same self-damaging power just to keep up? c) It was far less interesting to have the mirror copies split up and fight their own originals only. The team was supposed to be a team, so why didn’t they fight as a team? Given the horrible animation, this answer at least is clear: It would have been harder to animate, and they didn’t have budget for that during this episode.

But yeah. By removing the idea of one side or the other winning because they can punch through walls or whatever, the mirror match trope gives the writer a chance to essentially have one side win on philosophical grounds. They won because they’re always improving themselves. They won because they have friends who can cover for their own weaknesses. They won because they actually have something to fight for. They won because of some immutable qualtiy about who they are that can’t be copied and have the copy remain antagonistic. There’s all kinds of neat ways to go with it.