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stormyoceans · 6 months

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The dark season is nice for some, but quite hard for others.

To tackle this, we're launching once again this year's "Secret Helpers" and everyone is invited to join in!

How does it work?

It's very simple!

Choose 5 fan works. It doesn't matter whether they are gifs, video edits, fanarts, metas, analyses or fanfictions. Do you have something that has completely changed, inspired, destroyed or touched you? THAT'S what you need!

And now it goes on

Step 2: Write feedback to the creator of your favorite. No matter how long, how short, no matter what language, no matter if anonymous or under your official account, write what you liked and why. Jump over your shadow and let them know that this work of theirs has given you a good time.

Step 3: Spread "Secret Helpers" anonymously to others. No matter who you come across on tumblr or elsewhere on the internet, whether mutual or random, send them the instructions and let them keep spreading good news.

A lot of things are not going well lately. So we try to let those who give us a little break in the chaos know that we're glad to have them.

FAQ:

I have only seen one fan work that I liked. - No problem, write to the person anyway.

Isn't that weird? - Nope. (We are on the internet. Everything is kinda weird and ey, you don’t have to use your official account to send the feedback)

There. Are. TOO MANY! - 5 is a minimum number. If you have the time, write to as many as you want, everyone will be happy to get some compliments on their work!

The creators I like are all totally unknown - Especially for fanartists who don't get much feedback yet, each of those is worth its weight in gold. The fanfiction is amazing, but only has 2 comments? Become number 3! The fanart has 36 likes, but looks like a fucking work of art? Write that to the creator! Motivation is all babeyyy, regardless of whether it's the fandom favorite or someone completely new.

Have fun and good luck Secret Helpers!

THIS IS SUCH A LOVELY PROJECT!!!!!!!!! it's so important to spread positivity, especially to content creators who often have to deal with a lack of feedback and their works getting stolen, so im glad you gave me the chance to do this by sharing it with me, anon, thank you!!!!!!

i think that to follow the rules of the project i should probably write to the creators in private or by sending them an ask (?), but to try to give them more visibility and help them reach new people who maybe aren't familiar with their works yet, i thought i could talk a little about some of my favorites here (not that i have that many followers but you know. also for the two creators who aren't on tumblr i WILL make sure to leave them a nice comment too), so here we go!!!!!

in no particular order:

the entire vice versa web weaving series by @daymork. i tell you i wish i could have all these edits collected in one of those fancy ass art books with a hard cover that cost almost a hundred bucks just so that i could flip through it at any given moment to contemplate the beauty of said edits and cry myself to sleep holding it to my chest as i think about puentalay. i have no idea how jessi did it but every single quote she used for these is so perfect that no matter how many times i reread them they never fail to reduce me to a sobbing mess of a woman who is in dire need of receiving mental health care provided by professionals in an institutionalized setting. my point is. i love them. i love them a lot.

the quote by ocean vuong last twilight edit by @morkofday. i could literally put any of vish’s vice versa edits here because it’s like they’re all specially crafted to deal as much emotional damage as humanly possible to me personally, but in the end i decided to pick this one because, to this day, it’s still my favorite last twilight edit ever made. there's just something about it that stayed with me since i first saw it a whole year ago (im not even kidding when i say i think about it an average of twelve times per day) and even if it was done based on the mock trailer alone, vish was somehow able to perfectly capture the spirit of the show, not just by using that particular quote (which is incredibly spot on like when day and mork were talking about tenderness in episode 4 i thought of this edit right away and had to go punch through a wall to cope) but also because of the colors and the pictures that she chose.

the the man who can't be moved puentalay gifset by @seatawinans. you think episode 11 of vice versa has already reached the pinnacle of life altering emotional devastation and cathartic experience, and then you see this gifset and suddenly you find yourself decaying into subatomic particles to cope, committing grand scale larceny and arson to deal, and doing daily affirmations like 'this is affecting me a normal amount! :)' in front of the mirror every morning to survive. truly i have no words to properly express just how much the 'thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet/and you'll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street' lines over the glasshouse scenes make me sick in the head, it's the parallelism romanticism soulmatism of it all and somehow cassi managed to make it worse (read: better).

the underneath the stars by the cure morkday fanart by twitter user @bleu1te. i honestly love all of bleuité's puentalay and morkday works so much, there's just something so soft and tender in the way this artist draws them that every time i look at their art it gives me the same feeling of safety and comfort that i so deeply associate with these two pairings. i picked this one in particular because i fell in love with it as soon as i saw it, i love the colors, i love the starry sky behind them, i love their expressions, and most of all i love the hand placement. idk how to explain it, but i think the way they're touching just really conveys how much they adore each other.

the enchanted by taylor swift morkday video by twitter user @jimmyseagatitos. you know when someone punches you in the stomach and it hurts so much that you just start laughing hysterically? this is the closest description i can give to try to explain what this video did to me on a psychological emotional spiritual mental and physical level. and because apparently im a masochist i've been rewatching it only like 92649626 times in the span of three days. i also think it's pretty damn genius to end the edit on the 'i'll spend forever wondering if you knew' line of the song because it leaves everything unspoken just what mork never got to say.

this is obviously very far from being a comprehensive list (especially since my memory is pretty bad and my main interests are currently very limited ;;;;), so for the next couple of weeks i will try to reach out to my favorite creators (in private this time, i promise) and give them some love!!!!! and if anyone sees this, please consider doing it too!!!!!

#im not good at writing comments and i should have probably waited to do this on a day where i felt better about my english and my words but #i know myself and i would end up procrastinating this so i still wanted to try to do something #i've also never done something like this so please let me know if i did something wrong!!!!#secret helpers #m: ask #last twilight the series #vice versa

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deliriumsdelight7 · 2 years

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Tell us more about your Kas!Eddie fic!

Gonna throw this under a tag because this is spoilers for like the ENTIRE premise. Minus the fuckin’.

So, a couple weeks ago, I was looking at… well, never mind what I was looking at. And I thought, you know what Hellcheer smut needs? Tentacles. Oh, sure, there’s a few fics out there where Chrissy finds that issue of Heavy Metal with the tentacle smut in Eddie’s room. But we don’t have, like, actual tentacle smut (if I’m wrong SEND ME THAT SHIT). And as anyone who reads my smut knows, even my filthiest stuff tends to be all tender and emotional. So wouldn’t it be fun to make some really tender, intimate tentacle porn?

Yes. Yes it would.

So we all know about the Kas!Eddie theory, which states that Vecna is going to bring Eddie back to life as a vampire next season. Which I’m positive isn’t going to happen because ELEVEN was Kas, but anyway. I started to think of the, I dunno, the mechanics of it. Unlike his namesake, Vecna a.k.a. Henry Creel is not a necromancer. He can’t just make vampires. But if he saw a random teenaged boy bleeding out in the Upside Down, deeply traumatized by everything he’d suffered over the past few days… it would be relatively simple to bind Eddie’s mind to his, and to transform Eddie’s body in the way his own was transformed after he was exiled to the Upside Down.

Yeah. Wetly writhing tentacles and all.

Now, anyone who knows me knows that I love all things Beauty and the Beast. It bleeds into a lot of my writing. I think the idea of a truly grotesque beast, a freak of science and nature and maybe a little magic, has serious potential for a ton of hurt/comfort.

I was also partly inspired by Dio’s Dream Evil album cover, in which a monster lurking outside a window watches over a young girl as she sleeps, all the while horrors lurk under her bed. Here:

Now, I don’t know what Murray (the demonic Dio mascot in the window) is meant to be up to. But based on the fact that he’s doing the horns with his fingers - something Ronnie James Dio himself said his grandmother used to do to ward off evil - I think it’s a benevolent presence. A sentinel, warding evil away from the girl’s dreams.

All of that goes into this premise: A year or so after the events of season 4, Chrissy, who (survived/came back to life/don’t worry about it) Vecna’s attack, has started having nightmares again. But every time, before they can get too bad, she’s saved by a steady, soothing presence that she recognizes as Eddie Munson. Which is ridiculous; even if Eddie could somehow get into her dreams, he died a year ago.

Eventually, those horrible visions start bleeding into her waking hours, just as they had a year ago. And this time, when that presence - when Eddie - drives it away, she begs him to reveal himself to her. And that’s the last thing in the world Eddie wants to do (sure, he looks badass and metal as fuck, which is awesome, but he also knows that he’s objectively hideous), but for Chrissy? He’ll do it.

Cue 100% unplanned hurt/comfort, squishy wriggly sex, and some kinda ending that I can’t even BEGIN to figure out.

Thanks for the ask! Hope this sounds interesting!

#tmi tuesday #ask answered #hellcheer #GVD look away you don’t need to see where my twisted mind goes

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charmixpower · 1 year

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Thank you so much!!! 💕💞💕💞

I never liked the hearts and butterflies are the symbol for the Winx so their leader should have them! It really matches her childlike wonder and obsession with faries

Ohh, here's something interesting. Her s2 outfit is caused by her going "I was literally nearly killed last year, I am not scared of wearing a pair of shorts" so her confidence is artificial as it's fueled by anger, as shown by her going back into her comfort zone with her s3 outfit. But her confidence DID improve, so her s3 outfit isn't as hidey as her s1 outfit and it's more feminine and true to her personality compared to her s2 outfit

And then in s4 she hits her highest power level of cropped sweatshirts and bell bottoms, no one can defeat her. Stella got her a cute over the shoulder purse and she's been branching out into accessories she likes

Kfkejeje thank you!!! Her stealing her dad's shirt was a must, she's an only child, she got those shits XDD

Thank youuuuu!!! o⁠(⁠(⁠*⁠^⁠▽⁠^⁠*⁠)⁠)⁠o

My favorite thing about Winx transformations is the fact that each form looks different from each other and don't have direct connections, implying that they change base on what the user is feeling like instead of having a set growth that must look like the past from

None of the forms are connected that means you can let personality dictate EVERYTHING which means visualizing narrative ideas in fun ways!!! I love it so much!! It's a challenge to see if I can communicate a character's thought process about their magic in one outfit XD

I tried my hardest to make sure none of the butterfly placements were too similar to each other, bc I wanted to keep the aggressive theming that Winx has (ie og Bloom and her hearts) but convert it into butterflies

I might have gone a little too aggressive with it but I do not regret, it's easier to remove elements than to add them

My favorite one is the Enchantix butterfly because I spent like three hours researching butterfly crop tops to turn one into a dress and I am quite happy with the result, but the butterfly cut out is a close second just because I think it looks cool

And thank you on the hair compliments! I loved the way Bloom's enchantix hair looked in the movie and I HAD to replicate it. She just looked so beautiful!!

As I've mentioned her Enchantix form is inspired by her seeing her magic as a tool she can use, as a simple part of her like her hand or her leg. The reason her hair is so short is because she's essentially in work mode when she's transformation, but it's dyed and braided in the Believix style because she obviously still wants to look cute fjsndnsn it's a balance between personality and practically

Her hair is at it's longest in her Charmix and dark fairy form because that's when she views magic as a dream come true. It shortens in Believix, because she realizes that no magic is not all fun and games, but not by a huge amount. She still sees magic as a get out of jail free card, something incomprehensible that she can use to completely protect herself, so she doesn't account for her hair being grabbed because why should she? When she finally sees magic objectively, and realizes she's essentially a warrior fairy she removes this weak point

(Side note: Pants aren't actually any more practical than skirts in a fairy form. The magic protecting the body is the same whether or not something is actually covering skin, the only time skirts are impractical is when their long and hinder movement. So Bloom's enchantix is actually perfectly practical as far as fairy forms go. She's wearing shorts, all is good.)

Her short hair also serves the secondary purpose of making her scales easier to see, bc they usually kinda blend into her hair, showing that she's not only accepted her alien traits as part of her self but are willing to show them off. Which is part of the reason I went with short hair over anything else

Hehehe sorry for rambling, I love character design

Thank you thank you!!! I wanted to keep a retro theme for outfits that Bloom is really trying to make an impression in, because one does not wear an empire waist gown without being interested in retro fashion to begin with

She really does! I tried to keep one of her main colors on the outfit as all times XD, her sweater dress was hard but I like the result

Thank you❣️❣️❣️❣️ Bloom's clear love of retro fashion made me make that outfit as funky as I could. That is her dream jump suit and she is having a fucking ball wearing it

#rus chatters

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khaleesiofalicante · 2 years

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"You didn’t say goodbye. And a part of me believes that means you are coming back" - Unknown

Malec getting back together and talking and being mature is soooo damn beautiful!!! I can't believe its been three years!!!

Magnus impulse purchashing an apartment is a mood kdjdkdjdkd

My Lightwood and Herondale babes are so in love with them💙💙💙

God, all this malec fluff made me sooooo happy!! I love them!!! <3333

Communication is so fucking sexy!!!

"Tell them you’re mine.” ✨SCREAMING✨

“I…I’ve never had one before,” Magnus says quietly. “An apartment?” “A home.” I'M GOING TO CRY BYE

He wants to learn how to be alone with his thoughts. For me those fuckers keep me company 24/7 kdhdkdk

I'm so proud of him🥺

Magnus looks down at himself. He smiles. “How do I look?” “You look like the rest of my life,” Alec replies. PLEASE JDHDKFBFLFJ

HE GOT HIM CHAIRMAIN MEOW😭😭😭 THAT SCENE>>>

I love this gang!! They are all just so chaotic, Simon being all stressed about the play, Alec being jealous of Magnus, Jace being ready to take anyone down, Izzy being the queen she is😎 I'M LOVE THEM!!

“The downside of being famous. People look at me too much,” Magnus interrupts. “But guess who I’m looking at?” 🥺💙💙💙💙

“Jesus Christ,” Izzy swears. “Precisely,” Jace nods. KDHSIBDODKD OMG

ITS MAX!! AND THE WAY HE CALMS DOWN WHEN ALEC HOLDS HIM😭😭😭 I AM EMOTIONS OK?!?!

Maia and Lily are kinda right. Its everything Alec and Magnus represent, and how much they can be an inspiration

God, Max is so fucking intelligent!!! And the subliminal messaging was a power move!!! HIM>>>>

BURN SOME RICH INDEED😎

Some things are hard to change because some things are hard to notice. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT YALL!!

THE FUCKING PHOTOSHOT!! FUCK!! HOLY SHIT!! IT WAS AMAZING, TALENTED, INCREDIBLE, AMAZING- Also, they are so fucking horny for each other its hilarious😂😂😂

All the tweets are ✨FUCKING GOLD✨ And yes Magnus is Alec's religion dont @ me 😌

@alecforgovernor I think the whole photoshoot is peak symbolism. Alec is going to get rid of all the bullshit in our state government the way magnus got rid of his pants in this essay I will-

@malecmybeloved the way alec is looking at magnus in the Gucci cover is literally the same face he had in that photo of him at church in conclusion magnus bane is alec’s god thank you for coming to my ted talk

I want these two to come back and elaborate jdhdkdj

Alec smiles at him. “Some days I love you so much it keeps me up at night.” CAN YOU NOT SIR?!?!? 🥺😭💙

Alec cares so much and the kids and Magnus being there to remind him of his ability is literally everything I need in my life!!!

Not the congressman and the model. Just Alec and Magnus. Idk why but I loved this!!

#Madir forever. Rip to you Alec but I'm different

And where Alec is...that's where Magnus belongs. THEM. JUST THEM!!!

How the fuck has it been 15 years indeed??!?

FUCK THAT MAN, HONESTLY I HATE HIM SO MUCH. DONT TRY ME BITCH🔪🔪

All this scene was AHVDIBDKDOWBEV it made me remember a lot of that quote in rwrb "History huh? Bet we could make some" and I just died right there💙💜💙 I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH AHHHH

"I know it feels like the world is against you, Alec. But I’m right here. If anyone wants to hurt you, they’ll have to go through me.” oh, and they did😭😭😭

I'm love Janie so much🥰

Magnus really said "fuck you!" and then went and fucked his husband in goverment propierry huh?

“This is a revolution and you’re its leader. Don’t give up on this. Keep fighting, Alexander.” AHH I CANT. TOO MUCH. I'M DYING SEND HELP

"Minerva belongs with you.” I loved everything he said but can we please talk about how he stole this just to make a point?? ✨ICONIC✨

Rafael ans Magnus on a motorcycle. My skin is cleared, my anxiety is cured, my life is better-

There is “I just woke up and I can’t be bothered” and “I miss my family so I stole their clothes” and “You wish you could pull this off” and “Yes, I’m a model” and “Piss off the conservatives” and so many others.

This is one of Alec’s favorites.

It’s “Tell me I look pretty”.

BITCH, YOU ARE MAKING ME CRY WITH THIS😭

I loved the way Magnus handle this and it really shows how much he has healed and grown!!!

Alec’s internal monologue has me laughing so hard kdhdkdbdk

Look, it hurted a lot to see Max and Rafael fight, but I just can't resist the urge to say "Oh, burn!" everytime they tell a good comeback lmao. But them apologising is actually so heartwarming🥺

Leslie doesn’t take anyone's shit and she is so badass for that. Call them out, love!!!

"I'm grateful for having strong women in my life.” Same tbh

FUCK NOW I WANT TAMALES TOO!!

All the talk about Max having time to do things he is proud of is so damn important and sweet!! I loved this whole scene!!! The things Magnus and Alec said are🥺🥺🥺 There is pride is in existing. I'M GONNA GET THIS QUOTE ON A TATTOO!!

Maybe Rafael thinks he let down Alec and he is avoiding him?

THE HUG😭😭😭😭 I ALSO NEEDED THAT HUG

I love hugs but kinda hate them too bc if someone hugs me a little too tightly or with a little too much feelings I cry. Like, I literally cry jdhdjdbd thats not healthy but we dont have time to unpack all that😂

Alec pulls back first. Because he knows if he doesn’t now, he never will. Because he knows, it will hurt – just a little – if Magnus pulls back first. THIS HURTS TOO MUCH 😭

Don’t yall love the way Alec is always trying to learn and do better for himself and other people?? AND HE WENT TO LUCA OMFG YESSS!!

ALL OF THE THINGS LUCA SAID ARE *SCREAMS INTERNALLY*

"Take your time and take it slow.”

///

"That’s the best kind of client. The one who doesn’t just grow but helps other people grow with him.”

I LOVE ONE (1) MAN AND ITS THIS ONE!!

“No,” Alec shakes his head. “Thank you for being there for Magnus when I couldn’t.” Luca looks surprised. But then he smiles. “It was my pleasure.”💜💜

He brought Chairman Meow!! Can this man not be so fucking precious?!? I already love him so much I cant😭

MALEC GOING TO THERAPY TOGETHER AND WORKING TOGETHER HELL YESS!! THAT IS CALLED GROWTH!!

Ok, this was loooong but it just proves that it was a fave as always. It gave me a lot of energy these days. tysm<33

Song rec: Glimpse of Us by Joji

BABE THIS SONG IS EVERYWHERE AND I AM OBSESSED WITH IT OMG.

Also that quote is pain :)

ALSO - not me (and some of yall) praising these bitches for going to therapy and getting it together while we are still a mess (WHICH IS VERY VALID OF US LOL)

#tlnd

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justsomerandomntmranking · 2 years

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Daria Zhalina

Place: 3rd Place

Average: 4.5

It’s not hard to look ugly when you look as hot as Daria. Seriously, I loved Daria the moment she walked onto the set. She had an amazingly tall height, a banging body, and a unique face that draws you in. I especially love her big eyes and small lips, it’s a nice contrast. Her story was inspiring and I’m really proud of her for learning polish so fast and rebuilding her life back after moving to Poland. Daria also had to deal with Adam so I rooted for her til the end. However, her biggest problem in the show was her inconsistency. Seriously, if I complained about Natalia having a lot of whiplash during her time on the show, Daria was a whole damn rollercoaster. Her first shot was stunning only for her to fall down to the bottom for her terrible nude shoot. She was able to improve nicely before gong back down a bit by the War shoot. Daria was able to get a FCO with her overall stellar Masterchef and kept up the momentum well with a solid police shoot. Once the double week happened, things just kinda went down the drain faster than you can blink. Her 2 photos were very disappointing, which is a shame since I expected her to do really well on the natural and dramatic week. However, she didn’t understand how to break out of her shell, which I’ll lead onto later on. Her overseas performance was rocky as well in terms of photos. She started off terribly with her awkward windmill shot before bouncing back nicely with a stunning couture shot before having a terrible/great shot for the finale, which she finally got the boot for in the live finale (by audience vote). I’m shocked that she was even able to keep a good average but I guess the weeks where she peaked really carried her average at the beginning/end. Daria’s biggest problem was just how inconsistent she was. If she didn’t feel comfortable on set, it lead to an awkward photo because of how much she overthought everything. I believe the reason why her swimwear shot was so bad is because she wanted to be nude and let the negative energy weigh her down on set. She never seemed to have a mediocre week, always just ups and downs no matter what. The closest she had to a mediocre week would be the natural beauty week but that’s about it. Daria seemed to overthink every pose and expression she did but when she was in the zone, she was in the fucking zone and could blow everyones’ minds. Just look at the FCOs she got from me, her Masterchef and APART. Both are breathtaking because of how relaxed Daria looks, she looks comfortable and her face truly looks stunning. It’s hard to look ugly if you’re Daria after all. However, outside of photos, Daria was just a goddamn force in terms of everything else. She had by far the best walk out of everyone in the group, she looked like a seasoned supermodel strutting her stuff. Her unique look and walk really carried her in go-sees, leading to a slaughter that I’ve never seen before. Her loving personality alongside her go-sees performances carried her to the finales easily even with such an inconsistent performance on photos. It was a shame that Daria was so close to the finishing line only to get screwed over by the dumb audience twist (first Jakob now this). However, unlike Jakob, Daria had a lot against her. She was seen as boring to a lot of Polish viewers alongside her inconsistent performance during the show. She may be naturally pretty but she often let her nerves get to her. Overall, Daria may be one of the rockiest contestants to cover but she was a sight to see, her unique look was stunning and looking at her go-sees performances, she proved that she could easily book anything even with inconsistent photo qualities. It’s great to see her successful and exceeding my expectations.

#daria zhalina #pntmc6 #pntmc6contestantcommentary

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sheepisreading · 1 year

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Books I finished in Febuary 2023

The first three I grabbed at the same time at the boostore because I was bored and needed cheering up!

Naked, David Sedaris, 1997

This is an essay collection! I’d previously read Calypso by the same author and loved it. It’s a fun read, not hard to read or get into and doesn��t require too much concentration to read while still being very entertaining. I chose it as my next book for that reason, because I’ve been pretty fucking stressed recently and thought I could read it without spiralling. It worked! I loved it, it was funny and earnest, recounting amusing anecdotes and real learning moments. I love these kinds of essay collections heartfelt but self aware and comedic.

(Also, because I’ll probably never review it since I read it like six years ago: in the same vein I can only recommend Watsky’s essay collection “How to ruin everything”, probably even more than Naked! It’s I think less emotional or about emotions but I honestly loved it, it made me very happy, Watsky is awesome.)

Assembly, Natasha Brown, 2020

Fully picked this one up in the bookshop because the cover is pretty but after reading the blurb I immediately bought it. It’s fiction but clearly inspired by the authors life. The main character muses on her life so far and the decisions she’s made. It says clearly some shit that’s obvious but for some reason still an issue! The author clearly writes about the differences in class and upbringing between rich old money white people (her colleages) and hardworking new money black people (her). It’s about stuff we take for granted and casual racism. Very good ! It packs a punch in only a hundred pages.

Bluets, Maggie Nelson, 2009

Maggie Nelson writes “propositions” meaning short prose-poetry rambling-things about blue. I’m very into blue and gave a school presentation two years ago on the history of blue in art inspired by the vsauce video about it (which is amazing by the way, I rewatch it often), so I’ve been wanting to read it for a while. It’s good! Maggie Nelson writes beautifully about artists who have used the colour in the past (which is good inspiration) and her own relationship with blue, as well as with two people she cares about at the moment of writing. Her writing is absolutely beautiful! There is a lot of mention of romantic and physical longing which I cannot relate to, but that’s an issue I run into often and her way of discussing it remains interesting. It’s a beautiful book and its atmosphere stays with you.

The Nice House on the Lake vol. 1, James Tynion IV, 2021

Okay apparently the author is well known but I’ve never heard of him as I don’t really read comics and read like one graphic novel a year. As I understand it what I read (volume 1) spans the first six issues of the comic (out of 12). I grabbed it while browsing and loved the colours and was intrigued by the premise (having watched and thoroughly enjoyed Glass Onion not long before, I kinda thought it was a hardcore version of that, turns out: way more sci-fi shit in Nice House). I got home after my first day of internship, spent an hour doing jack shit and then picked this book up and read the whole thing straight. It’s amazing, there are fleshed out characters (some of them are queer yay), suspense, tension, emotion, it’s just really good! I will warn for like apocalypse, discussions of suicide and body horror though if that’s a thing you can’t go near! But if you can and are into weird sci-fi horror I recommend it! (I actually kind of like Walter I have to say, he just loves his friends !)

Steppenwolf, Hermann Hesse, 1927

!!! My mum is a big Hermann Hesse fan and always advocated for me reading one of his books. I happened upon this one at the used book market and immediately bought it because I noticed someone had anotated parts of it which. Yeah. Anyways, a bit of a slow start with the introduction written from an outside perspective from the narrator of the remainder of the book but absolutely hang in there! It's absolutely amazing; reflections on selfhood and the way we choose to live or not live our lives, connections with others, finding joy and excitement. It really did exceed my expectations. I thought there would be too much romance talk for my taste but it's so beautifully written that it's not an issue at all. It left a mark on me, that's for sure, it's a really powerful book.

#david sedaris #natasha brown #maggie nelson #james tynion iv #hermann hesse #book community #bookblr #bookish #books #book review #book isnt a word anymore

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asherlockstudy · 3 years

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How to do perfect staging: a lesson from Italy

I mentioned at some point I might actually make a post drooling over Italy's Måneskin performance and staging. I was kinda bored to be honest and decided against it but then all those trashy rumours that try to bring the winners down seemed so disgraceful and embarrassing to me that I decided again to do it. Now, the truth is that their performance was a little better in the semi-final introduction act. Perhaps this was due to the anxiety of the Grand Final. This is why I am going to use photos and gifs from that act and perhaps this will show to some that the perfect package might need a little bit of everything, and not just slap your language on the audience's ears with the expectation that this alone is always enough. *Did I make this too personal?*

Anyway, I digress. And I don’t mean that the Grand Final performance wasn’t still the best of the night, I just mean it wasn’t at the same God Tier level as the semifinal one.

Here's why the Italians took advantage of the Dutch stage until its very last millimeter and way more cleverly than any other country.

This is the only act that starts from the back of the stage, where the singer Damiano David waits for us alone.

Even with the rest of the 25 competing countries, this intro makes you forget that you are watching a contest with 26 countries as guests. Unlike anyone else, Italy looks like the host, like this place belongs to them and the frontman waits for you to show you around and possibly drag you to the world of Måneskin. In fact, you almost forget it’s Eurovision - this now looks like a Måneskin concert or, even better, a more private space of theirs with an ominous industrial feel. One of the most impactful things now is the lighting. Take a look at it. Almost all contestants throw all the lights on themselves or on some important prop they have prepared. The Italians are the only ones who chose to just light the stage itself. The simple white lights on the black stage give the impression of depth and it is the only act which shows emphatically the size of the stage. Why this? Well, we already established that in the first seconds the viewers feel they are in a new space belonging exclusively to Måneskin - the lights make us feel that their area is vast and dark and we are about to be drawn to its depths.

Damiano indeed guides us to the front as he sings, where the rest of the band are on the top of a platform. The other members won’t come down and join Damiano until he sings the appropriate verse “Buona sera, signore e signori” (=Good evening, ladies and gentlemen) and accompany it with a theatrical flamboyant bow (that feels very Italian). That’s when, technically introduced to the audience after the official greeting, bassist Victoria de Angelis and guitarist Thomas Raggi come off the platform and join Damiano.

There’s nothing excessive about the visual effects. Only the use of white lights that give the perception of depth and in the background the big shadows of the group’s silhouettes. They are in the front and they cast their shadows in the back; they create to you a feeling of being trapped by them but do you really want to escape?

When the second verse starts, Victoria and Thomas take the paths left and right of the stage and leave Damiano alone. They take even more advantage of the stage and in a typical classic rock band way. These two play with the side cameras but the focus is more on Damiano, whose verse sounds more like a tongue-twister. Since the cameras are rightfully on Damiano, I must now address the elephant in the room. Damiano is particularly attractive. In fact, the whole band is almost mind-bogglingly attractive and they clearly take a lot of care about how exactly they are going to look but Damiano, as the frontman, does especially so. So let’s talk about the outfit. They all have essentially the same outfit, however it is cut differently for each based on the person’s looks and personality. Isn’t it fantastic?

Damiano, who oozes confidence and sex appeal, has accordingly the most “provocative” outfit of the four. His chest and arms are bare so that his many tattoos can be seen. I’ll talk about the other outfits later as they all have their place in the... uh... white lights.

During the second chorus Victoria and Thomas return at the center and after the chorus it is time for the first solo; Victoria’s. The cameras are now on her but the lighting remains modest to accentuate the dark beat of her bass.

Victoria is the only girl of the group and the most dressed of them all - how refreshing! Her outfit is more similar to Thomas but she is buttoned up in the front. How does she wish to underscore her uniqueness as the woman of the band? But of course, with long flamboyant girly sleeves that come to delicious contrast with her aggressive stomping and her wide strides. Both her hairstyle and her outfit is inspired or basically just outright 70′s classic rock look.

It’s time for the bridge of the song right after her solo and Damiano has his attention on her and also draws the viewer’s attention to her some more. This part of the song is lower and softer - in relative terms - that’s why Damiano “chooses” her to sing it to. The lights now turn red, the intensity rises but there’s light flirtatiousness between them, with many smiles to each other and the camera that turns around them as they launch at each other playfully.

Then the song gets darker, more intense, the guitar stronger than the bass and Damiano’s voice turns to a scream. For this part, he turns to his bro, guitarist Thomas and he now draws the attention to him.

He grabs Thomas by the neck in an intense, intimate way (that doesn’t mean sexual, just intimate. His interaction with Victoria wasn’t sexual either). It is clear that through different ways Måneskin want to stress how good and close their relations are and that their singer, who is apparently a show stealer by birth, wants to ensure that they all get equal amount of attention from their audience. I love this.

True enough, nobody is left behind! The last chorus starts with a drums solo and Damiano goes up to the platform to now meet and introduce to us Ethan Torchio. Ethan stands up and his giant shadow is on the now blue background: this is the moment for the - so I hear - somewhat shy drummer to shine in his own aesthetic. The Italians leave none of their assets to fall down and Ethan’s impressive hair rightfully steals the show.

Just like Victoria and Thomas look alike, so do Ethan and Damiano, that’s why their costumes are the most similar. Ethan has a vest that covers him more than Damiano but leaves his arms bare. Because whose else the arms do you need to see if not the drummer’s?

This song has something peculiar because it was not a song originally written for Eurovision; it slows down in the end and does not end on some impressive note from the singer as usual but with the last solo we expect, that of the guitarist, because everything is fair in Måneskin! The focus has to leave Damiano, so now it’s the time for the visual effects to finally catch fire, literally, because nobody is allowed to take their eyes off them! Måneskin use a huge amount of pyro that however feels appropriate for the intense chorus and the ending guitar solo.

Thomas steps up for his solo and I forget we are in 2021. This is the most 70s thing I would ever hope to see.

In a hell of pyro, Thomas looks like he was tranferred right from a 70s rock ‘n roll concert. His outfit would be gladly taken by Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones. The unbuttoned jacket with this boho tie, such a classic 70s fashion touch. His haircut and even his FACE are the epitome of the 70s - what an ending sequence!

But hey we reached the end and this is Eurovision, the song slows down dangerously. Like I said, the Italians forbid us to get distracted. The attention must return to Damiano ASAP. Damiano says one last line and takes the audience with him to the very end with a death drop.

There you have it. Måneskin had me holding my breath for the full three minutes and I did not want to take my eyes off my TV. There are countless shows that are awesome - in this very Eurovision as well - but I was impressed by how they seemed to have found the perfect balance for everything in every single moment. They found the perfect stage concept for the song, they relied on visual effects only when they needed them and they stressed every twist and turn of their sound with a perfectly fitting move or interaction. They also all effortlessly could hold your attention and they made sure that they all would, with members often helping bring out other members. This performance was beautiful and, above all, clever which is why it was undoubtedly the worthiest of the win.

#eurovision #eurovision 2021 #esc 2021 #eurovision song contest #italy #italy 2021 #maneskin #damiano david #victoria de angelis #ethan torchio #thomas raggi #music #songs #zitti e buoni #flashing tw #more

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deadpoetsmuses · 3 years

Text

"inspiration". | neil perry, dps.

in which a summer is spent with the poets, with a significant feature of neil perry.

✧ title: "inspiration".

✧ pairing: neil perry x fem!reader.

✧ genre: fluff, with slight mentions of angst.

✧ word count: 2,733.

✧ warnings: written in headcanon format, home life mentions, the reader lives in meeks' grandma's house, knox being a simp for chris.

✦ author’s note: requested by @mybabysweetascanbe! it's kinda funky how i wrote this as a headcanon but it still ended up being my longest fic lmao. also i wrote the poem that neil made for the reader myself so i'm sorry if it's kinda cheesy 🗿 but i hope you all enjoy this one !! don't forget to take care of yourselves guys <3

✎ The summer holidays had always been a time for the poets’ relief.

✎ Their academic year was constantly filled with difficulties for the poets, but it was harder for some when they were home for the summer.

✎ Neil felt as though he couldn’t be himself-- he loved reading and writing even more so than he did with accomplishing any of his parents’ wishes, like heading into medical school. He especially loved to act, and it was rough to keep that concealed around his dictatorial father.

✎ Todd’s older brother would be at home as well, and it was worse enough being in his shadow; but it had gotten worse with every one of his parents’ daily proclamations.

“We were quite disappointed with your grades from last semester, son,” His father reprimanded, looking down on him with stern eyes. “I just don’t understand what’s gotten into you. Your mother and I raised you quite well and you have your brother to guide you along. You know that he’s remarkably intelligent and well accomplished. Why can’t you be more like your brother?”

✎ Charlie and Knox had been just like Neil. The constant pressure that their parents put on them about becoming a banker and a lawyer was daunting; and all they wanted was to simply live as regular teenagers without concern for their future.

✎ Fortunately, Meeks’ grandmother was a woman who had a colossal and motherly love for the poets with a sizable residence in which her grandson’s friends could inhabit during their vacation.

✎ Thus, the poets resided in the Meeks household in the summer before their senior year so as to escape the stress and troubles brought to them in their own homes.

✎ Even though the summer was fleeting and their time was short, the poets found their time to be everlasting when they met the student boarder of the house.

✎ She went by the name of Y/N, which was a name that sounded just as sweet as the lady to whom it was attached.

“Hello, everybody! I’m Y/N!” The girl said, reaching out her hand to shake one of the poets’. Truth be told, it had been quite some time since any one of the boys had been in close contact with a woman; so they found themselves to be quite the martians in the situation. It took a few moments before one of the poets-- Neil Perry-- could offer his hand and shake hers. “I’m Neil! We’re friends of Meeks and his classmates from Welton.” The boy swore that he felt a spark as their fingertips touched, but he tossed the feeling aside; along with the apparition that he saw of a faint glimmer in Y/N’s eyes.

✎ The boys instantly took her in to their little group, and they all fell in love with her personality-- which was a platonic statement of course; but Neil Perry found this to be otherwise as he actually began falling into love with the new girl.

✎ He loved the way she cared for her new friends, the way she projected her personality through the clothes she wore, and all of the little smiles she gave him.

✎ With every beam and twinkle that she delivered, Y/N found herself to be falling for Neil as well.

✎ He provided a feeling for her that made the blacks of her eyes expand and butterflies to quiver inside-- which was the very same one Neil had felt when he first laid his eyes on her.

✎ She had been a fantastic addition to the band of poets, and the boys could not have had it any other way.

Despite the summer coming into fruition, the poets did not fail to meet up in their little cave every once in a while to read poetry, discuss girls, and laugh. The first meeting of that summer was simply like any other. “Guys, what do we think of Y/N?” Meeks questioned. A clamor of answers that ranged between “I think she’s great,” and “Do you think Mrs. Meeks has any more people in her house like Y/N?” echoed in the dark cave. Clearly, the boys had favored Y/N; but certainly not to the point where they’d be infatuated with her. “Yeah, I think she’s nice. She’s really pretty too,” Knox added. “Woah there Knoxious,” Charlie replied, expelling out a chortle. “I don’t think Chris would like to hear that. And besides, she looks more like she’s Neil’s type than yours.” Charlie’s words weren’t incorrect, but it was needless to say that Neil had strongly agreed with that statement.

✎ Over the summer, they would all begin to get to know each other better.

✎ The poets eventually introduced Y/N to the intricate realm of poetry, and she wholeheartedly fell in love with every line that was recited.

✎ They enjoyed every moment of their fleeting time together. Of course, there would be times where the boys would get into small fights and bickers.

✎ Pitts would always be yelling at Charlie for taking an ungodly amount of time in the shower, while Charlie would be yelling back about how Pitts always seemed to inhale the food that Mrs. Meeks provided for them before he himself could even take one bite.

✎ Cameron did his best to do some summer reading at night, but he found it quite hard as his room was beside Knox’s room, and Knox would spend hours on end talking to Chris over the phone.

“Oh, Chris. How do I love thee?” Knox sighed, lacing the telephone cords in between his fingers. “That’s the title of a poem we learned in Mr. Keating’s class. It reminds me of how lovely you are. Of course, she’s not as pretty as you are,” Knox’s giggles not only erupted through the phone; but it travelled through the walls as well, disrupting Cameron from the climax of his novel. “We get it, Knox! You’re a romantic poet! Now why don’t you go tell Chris about how you finished with a D minus in English!”

✎ While all of the little squabbles took place, they hadn’t even noticed the slight change in Neil and Y/N’s behavior.

✎ Y/N seemed to be keeping to herself more often, while Neil appeared to have possessed an undying smile on his face around the poets; particularly in the mornings when everyone gets up early except for him and Y/N.

✎ Little did they know, Y/N’s room had been vacant for the past few days since the arguments began-- which was approximately three weeks after the boys had arrived to the Meeks’ residence; and Neil seemed to be giggling in his room every night when the rest were asleep.

✎ In the duration of those three weeks, Neil had become more familiar with Y/N than any of the other poets had been.

✎ They’d walk along the nearby river every morning, discuss poetry in the late afternoons, and eventually fall asleep in each other’s arms at night.

“How long have you been living here?” Neil inquired, peering into Y/N’s eyes. His vision didn’t have to stretch too far as his face had only been a breath away from Y/N’s. The pair laid together under the warm covers of Neil’s bed with their legs entangled in one another’s and their hands interlocked, talking about anything and everything that came to their minds. “It’s been two years since Mrs. Meeks took me in,” She replied, gazing over Neil’s chiseled face. “In the whole time I’ve been here, I think you’re the most interesting thing that’s happened to me,” Y/N added, beaming up at Neil. Hearing her words, Neil slowly leaned his lips onto Y/N’s forehead, giving her an endearing kiss. She too had been the most interesting thing to happen to Neil in a long time.

✎ For each and every day that they were together, Neil wrote love poems.

✎ His poems revolved around his time with Y/N and included detail of all sorts; such as how colors appeared to be more bright and more vivid when he was with her and how lovelier the birds had sounded in the morning during their walks.

"My love,

The luminosity of the golden sun

does not compare to the radiance

of your glowing skin.

In this air full of morning dew,

the most beautiful scent in the air

is still you.

The sounds we hear of the melodious

birds are all because of your presence,

and they sing only for your beauty.

I look into your eyes and I see nature

reflected back at me; but it is much more

pleasant to perceive than if I were to do so

through my own set of eyes.

Though the morning lasts for a mere set of hours,

My fascination for you can go for as long as

this smooth river flows.

✎ Neil felt embarrassed about being so infatuated with Y/N, so he kept his poems hidden for the time being.

✎ Somehow, the boys had failed to notice Neil and Y/N’s constant disappearance.

✎ Although, they’d make little remarks from time to time that ran along the lines of “Ooh, Neil found a muse!” and “Y/N definitely likes somebody here. It’s probably me.”

✎ The last comment came from Charlie, which later earned him a smack on the head from Neil.

✎ So, Neil and Y/N did their best to keep their relationship hidden throughout the summer.

✎ The two were rather domestic in their relationship; they did all of the typical-couple activities that everyone else had done.

✎ To anyone else it would have been rather common to witness, but to them it was simply extraordinary being with one another.

It had been a scenic day at the river that morning. The beauty of the nature surrounding it had been ordinarily pleasing to Y/N; but all of its best qualities were magnified for Neil as his hand was in hers and the only thing he could smell was her fragrance. He had been quite nervous for the entire morning as he promised himself the night before that he would finally gather the courage to say those three magic words he’d been imagining to say for quite some time. Unbeknownst to him, Y/N had been thinking the same and had been visualizing how she would say it at that moment for the past few hours since. Just when the cascading waters began to relax and the chirping of the birds started to quiet down, the pair stopped on their trail and those three words were finally professed by Neil in a sudden manner while Y/N had spoken the same in a clear and gentle tone. They looked into each other’s eyes, recognizing the same look of love and eventually realizing what was said. As it was acknowledged, the two lovers simply smiled at each other and kept walking along; their hearts now beating on the same rhythm and their minds thinking of nothing but one another.

✎ Time to time, they would go up to the attic and listen to the music from Mrs. Meeks’ old gramophone, caressing one another as they slowly dance along to the lyrics of Ella Fitzgerald’s songs.

✎ Neil would always sneak a flower out of Mrs. Meeks’ rose garden and leave it on Y/N’s bedside table for her to wake up to.

✎ One of Y/N’s ways of communicating her love would be recommending books to Neil that she thinks is encompassed with his personality. Since then, Neil’s library had enlarged to a great extent.

✎ There would also be some occasions where one of them-- mostly Neil-- would get a little cheeky and try to express their love for the other out in the open.

“Eat up, boys! You know there’s plenty more of where that came from, so don’t be afraid to dig in!” Mrs. Meeks endorsed, setting down a bowl of mashed potatoes. With a jubilant ‘thank you’, everyone at the table promptly began to tuck into the mouthwatering cuisine. The boys soon found themselves distracted with the heavenly taste of Mrs. Meeks’ cooking; and Neil took this opportunity to covertly sneak his right hand onto Y/N’s thigh under the table. A scarlet blush crept its way up to Y/N’s cheek as she sent Neil a glare. Though her eyes expressed the message of “Not here!”, every other signal in her body sent the message of ‘Yes, Please’ to a very triumphant Neil.

✎ The summer inevitably came to an end and the boys were forced to return to Welton, much to their dismay.

✎ They couldn’t stand ending their summer; and they especially couldn’t stand leaving their new friend behind while the rest of them stayed together.

“Oh God, How are we supposed to leave this beautiful girl all alone in this big house?!” Charlie pleaded, theatrically dropping down to his knees and shouting out loud to the heavens. “It’s all just too emotional for us,” Pitts added as he went along with his friend’s act, his head bowing down to the ground in grief as he placed a comforting hand on Charlie’s shoulder. “Just take me with her, God! Let me be with Y/N at her all-girls school!”

✎ Despite all of the inconveniences they put upon Y/N, the poets really did leave a mark on her. These boys showed her a new way of life-- she knows what ‘Carpe Diem’ means, and she knows how to seize her days because of them.

✎ Of course, Neil had a harder time coming into terms with their departure more than anyone else.

✎ Leaving the Meeks’ residence meant that he was leaving Y/N, which was something that he hadn’t prepared himself for.

“I’m not ready to leave you,” Neil confessed. Tears were beginning to form in his eyes, but he quickly blinked them away. After the individual hugs and goodbyes Y/N had given to the rest of the poets, the ill-fated time had come when she had to bid her own farewell to her lover. Neil believed that though their time was short and fleeting, it truly had been something special and something that he’ll never forget. Y/N was his first love, his first muse, his first everything; and no amount of riches could ever sum up to the prominence of that. Y/N placed her hand on Neil’s face, stroking away his tears with her thumb as she felt her eyes begin to swell up as well. “I’ll write to you every day, Neil.” Naturally, Y/N was on the brink of tears as well. She couldn’t bear to leave Neil after everything he’s shown her. It feels like she’s known him forever, yet everything felt so new and exciting with him. She loved him too much, and she knows she’ll continue to love him long after.

✎ Neil was afraid that she would forget about what they had soon after she had left, so he decided to give her all of the poems he had written about her.

✎ As her hands clasped the thick set of parchment, the tears she had been trying so hard to conceal had all poured out, staining the paper and her hands.

“Neil… these are beautiful,” She croaked. Her eyes skimmed over every title and date, realizing that there had been a poem for each and every splendid day that they had been together. “You’re beautiful, Y/N. That’s why I wrote these,” Neil corrected. “Everything I love about you is in these poems, and all of the love I have for you is written in each letter. I just don’t want you to forget about me while we’re apart.” The absurdity of Neil’s words made Y/N chuckle softly before she stepped forward and linked her hands around Neil’s neck, reducing the space between their lips. “I love you, Neil. You’re always going to be in my mind and you’ll always have my heart in the little pocket of your Welton blazer.”

✎ Y/N felt truly fortunate to have met Neil. This summer had come as quite a surprise for her-- she did not expect to fall in love so soon and with such an extraordinary person like Neil Perry. He was everything she’d ever looked for and he gave everything she deserved.

✎ Even though the bright days of the summer had ended and the early falling leaves of the autumn was yet to arrive, the change was of no concern as the only thing that mattered was what had been consistent-- and for Y/N and Neil, the thing that stood still for the two of them despite all odds was each other.

dedicated to these lovely people!! @mybabysweetascanbe @disagreeingpoets @catflowerbean @galaxyrhytm @nananostalgic @ughgclden @towriteabetterlife @neilsemeraldsweater @yourpal @willowestelle

#dead poets society #dead poets #dps #dead poets society fanfiction #dps fanfiction #neil perry #neil perry x reader #neil perry fanfiction #neil perry fluff #neil perry angst #richard cameron #charlie dalton #knox overstreet #todd anderson #steven meeks #gerard pitts #jemi-writes #jemi-requested #jemi-dps

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beann-e · 3 years

Text

haikyu characters with insecure s/o

inarizaki boys with insecure s/o

⚠️ tw mentions of slight ed

suna

-I doubt that he’ll care based on his personality. Most likely he wouldn’t even notice I know people like to say ‘ well when he really cares about someone’

-no .. I genuinely think he won’t care if you believe him or not because to him why would he be dating you if he didn’t think you were an all around great perosn

Your boyfriends eyes looked up from his phone legs twitching in anxiousness as he followed your soft eyes across the room landing on a girl that sat at the far end of the restaurant.

Your hand coming up so you could fiddle with it looking out the corner of your eye to find suna already looking at her

‘ god I knew it — he is looking at her kinda hard not to when she takes up the whole room ‘

You felt your body grow hot as you imagined yourself looking like her.

What would it be like to be her height, to be her weight and not have people talk about you , what would it be like to have a clear conscience free of self doubt ?

You sighed as you nibbled on the inside of your cheek trying to get out of your explosive mind. Breath only quickening when you felt sunas face turn to you before he scoffed and looked back to his phone in interest

“ tch her shoes are untied “

your eyebrows furrowed “ w-what “ your eyes darted over to the girl before dropping to her shoes “ h-her shoes are untied “

you shook your head before speaking “ but suna isn’t — don’t you think she’s pretty “

“ her shoes are untied “

“ yeah but — she’s pretty ? I don’t understand “

“ her shoes are untied “

“ what the hell suna why is that what you care about when she’s going on a remarkable height and she’s beautiful with clear skin that I work super hard to get I mean you’ve seen me try to every night with my routines “

he shook his head as if not listening to you before continuing to play a game on his phone that seemed to have all his attention

“ baby her shoes are untied “

“ what does— “

“ if she cant do something as small as tying her own shoes who’s to say she can care about any of the small things that I find important in a relationship “

your eyebrows relaxed “ I understand it may not seem like a big deal to you because you think she’s beautiful so her shoelaces don’t matter but if she can walk around with open shoe laces — who’s to say she won’t walk around with an open relationship? “

he made his character move around the screen as he sighed “ little things go a long way in my book and they mean a lot to me first impressions are everything “

You watched as his face remained stoic while he spoke in disinterest “ I don’t like hers “

you somewhat felt discouraged if he felt this strongly about shoelaces what did he feel about you ?

what about when you forgot to wash a dish ?

what about when you forgot to take a shower or even brush your hair that day ?

what if you’d forgotten to tie your shoes would he hate you and want to break up?

you moved slowly to push yourself away from the table trying to see if your shoelaces were tied only for sunas voice to come out In deep authority his annoyance playing in his voice next to you

“ stop babe your wearing flats “

you bit your bottom lip in fear he sounded annoyed and genuinely exhausted . You couldn’t help it just so many things were running through your mind that you may have done wrong

he moved to set his phone down on the table the word loser sprawled across the screen you knowing he gave up his gameplay for you making you feel even worse knowing that he’d never stop playing on his phone for anyone else

You bit harder at your lip as he turned to you his hands coming up right one to cradle your face and left to try to pull your lip from you teeth’s deathly hold

“ y/n come on let go “

you felt your body give in releasing your lip that had started to bleed you hadn’t even noticed how hard it was tucked away

he rubbed the small amount of blood away with his thumb onto a napkin wiping his hand off afterward to look into your eyes as he squished your face

his words having meaning as he spoke looking deeply into your eyes “ your fine y/n — you tie your shoelaces babe I swear “

Osamu

- Hes a bit more chill about it but also spots it quickly and immediately shuts it down. He hates you feeling insecure and will do nearly anything to make the feeling go away including giving you his lunch.

-but over time you stop accepting his lunch and that’s when he knows he needs to put his foot down because this insecurity thing is getting out of hand

“ y/n why aren’t you eating “

you smiled softly as you brung your head away from your boyfriend hands outstretched in a no motion as your eyes sprinted around the cafe looking for the one person who held everything you wanted

“ come on baby — your rice it’s getting cold “ his whiny voice came out as he clawed at your waist trying to pull you closer to him to get you to look at his pouted face.

“ fine whatever then i’ll just eat it all and i’ll never make you lunch again “ he puffed out as he moved to steal your second plate away he’d given you thinking it would encourage you to eat your first only for you to squint your eyes at a table in front of the both of you

His body moving on instinct to follow your eyes as you stared curiosily at the table.

His body turning hard as he noticed what was happening ‘ fucking hell ‘ he thought as he pushed the plate back in front of you ‘ again ‘

He moved to place his head on your shoulder speaking “ god look at ‘er she doesn’t even have any rice “

you tried to drown him out as he continued “ can you imagine actually enjoying yer lunch with no rice “ he scoffed “ almost sad “

he smiled as he dug his forehead into your shoulder “ but you eat rice baby “ he moved to kiss and nip at your neck “ and I love you for it your my rice baby “

“ r-rice baby “ he laughed “ osumu what is that babe“

“ ah I see that’s all it took huh ? “

“ hmm “

“ to get your attention away from the girl who lacks rice“

your eyebrows went down as you stared at her more.

Eyes racking over her plate before you looked down at yours eyes almost tearing up at that alone “ babe “

“ yes y/n “

“ can you go ge—just go get me a milk I swear i’ll drink it all “

he sat still for a moment forehead pressed to your neck before it fell to your shoulder and he finally dragged it down to the table.

His arm covering it giving his head its own home

“ hmm osumu babe can you do that i’ll give you the money back I swear I won’t waste it “

his voice came out soft as he hid his nervous emotion from you his bottom lip tucked away in his teeth right hand fidgeting with his pants

“ n-no you have to eat “

“ but osumu ple— “

“ e-eat first and i’ll go get the milk “ his eyes were creased in concern he knew he couldn’t look at you he would give in for the 5th time this week and just suck it up and go get the milk and leave you to eat no lunch and go all day without something to eat

“ I swear if you eat your lunch and f-finish it “ he started moving his legs in anxiousness

what if you hated him

“ then i’ll go get the milk “

“ why — “ you ripped your face away from the girls plate and turned to look at the back of your boyfriends head

“ osumu why are you doing this please — can you just go get the milk I didn’t bring my lunch card and I don’t have any money right now“

his leg moved up and down faster “ shit “ he let out quietly he knew he was cornered

“ baby I swear i’ll eat the lunch after the milk — swear it “

he knew there’d be no time for you to.

You’d have to eat one or the other and he just knew you would choose the milk

You two always did this he would give in and then go get it and come back and the bell would ring and you would leave your bento box and he would end up taking it home to stuff it full of the next days lunch

While he watched as you sat unhappily for the rest of the day.

Him hearing your stomach growling only for you to pass it off as the volleyball he just smacked down in his practice game

“ y/n babe — my love I can’t “

your body shook at his words

he can’t ?

“ you don’t have any lunch money or your card either ? “

he chewed into his lip harder “ no-no y/n I just I don’t want to “

your heart broke “ but osamu i’m hungry “

“ then eat the lunch I made for you in the bento box that you didn’t eat out of yesterday “

“ I—I don’t want that I want milk please “

“ why “ he got louder “ why do you want the milk huh“

“ because I “ you shut your mouth as he was now screaming to the ground his head still covered

could he not look at you ?

“ you don’t want the milk just because you want it you want the milk because that chick with no rice only drinks milk —- you want to be like her or some shit I know —I see it “

your heart dropped as it felt like your body had been weighed down “ what no I — I don’t “

“ yes you do why else are you always staring at her — you started working out — only drinking milk because she does it’s almost like she’s your inspiration isn’t that what you call it your body inspo“

“ i— osumu how dare you “

“ how dare I ? “ he laughed as his head whipped up to face you obvious hurt in his voice

“ how dare you when you make me watch you suffer and then you say shit like it’s fine i’ll eat at home only for me to call and your outside working out “

he grabbed your hands “ y/n baby this isn’t good ok you like food you love it so why are you so against it now “

you looked away as he pulled you into a hug

“ I know I can’t make you do anything but — please just eat your food today and then i’ll get you milk afterwards ok “

he moved to press a small kiss to your forehead as he moved the plate in front of you over “ let’s start working on ourselves today “

he placed the chopsticks in your shaky hand as he brung them up for a kiss “ we’ll create our own body inspo yeah ? “

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wickedpact · 4 years

Note

dear tumblr user crim wickedpact pls write the essay/dissertation about nicky being shakespeare's fair youth (if you have time, ofc!!)

Not To Imply Nicky Was Shakespeare’s Fair Youth But Ive Read The Fair Youth Sonnets & Nicky Was Definitely Shakespeare’s Fair Youth, an essay by me, tumblr user crim wickedpact

background knowledge: our man shakespeare wrote some 120 sonnets about a young man referred to as the Fair Youth during the mid 1590s; there has been some debate among shakespeare enthusiasts whether shakespeare’s interest in the Fair Youth was platonic or romantic (but like. they were definitely romantic). no one knows for sure who the Fair Youth was, but it was definitely nicky and my first and most important piece of evidence regarding this hypothesis is the ‘lmao babe do you remember that guy who had a crush on me?’/ ‘i try not to remember the guy who had a crush on you’ look joe and nicky exchange when Merrick brings up shakespeare during the movie. especially since gina confirmed in a tweet that joe and nicky canonly did know shakespeare

my second piece of evidence is that it just Works (except for a couple small facts like.. the Fair Youth was prolly closer to his 20s than his 30s. and the fact that shakespeare implies that the Fair Youth slept with his mistress at one point. but he doesnt know what hes talking about shhh we IGNORE)

long post under cut

A. The Description Matches

when describing the Fair Youth (who I’ll call the FY from now on), shakespeare says he has a ‘gold complexion’ and ‘beautiful eyes’ and compares him to a ‘summer’s day’. He says the FY has “A woman’s gentle heart" and “An eye more bright than [women’s are], (...) Gilding the object whereupon [they] gazeth”

As much as shakespeare’s perceptions of sexuality and gender are very........ late 1500′s (whoo boy sonnet #20 is a wild ride) ...... the description does match, and also:

B. The Fair Youth Refused to Get Married

it’s never really said why one way or another (shakespeare assumes it’s because the FY is selfish) but the FY didn’t/wouldn’t take on a wife and have a kid, and this was something that was a real sticker for our man Willy S. because, as he says in his sonnets a million times: beauty doesn’t last forever, but having a child not only passes down the FY’s beauty, but also blesses the woman the FY would have a child with (im not saying shakespeare wanted to bear the FY’s children, but he definitely did)

Whose fresh repair if now thou not renewest, Thou dost beguile the world, unbless some mother. For where is she so fair whose uneared womb Disdains the tillage of thy husbandry?

(ie. If you don’t renew yourself/ have children, you deprive the world and deprive a woman from having your child, since what woman out there is so beautiful that she wouldn’t want to bear your child?)

Like.

1.) if nicky is the FY then so many of these poems center around the idea of nicky growing old sometime soon and that must have been pretty funny to Nicky and

2.) the fact that shakespeare would have been So Desperate for nicky to find a wife must have been the opposite of funny to joe. considering the ease of his and nicky’s relationship and the fact that being gay in late 1500s england was probably not a walk in the park, it is very likely shakespeare wouldn’t have known they were in a committed relationship-- or at least not known how close they actually were. Thus:

C. The Rival (aka. Joe)

shakespeare mentions having a poetic rival in regards to the FY in several sonnets. In sonnet #21 he talks about how he’s not like Those Other Writers who use grand metaphors to talk about their muses

So is it not with me as with that Muse, Stirred by a painted beauty to his verse, Who heaven itself for ornament doth use And every fair with his fair doth rehearse, Making a couplement of proud compare With sun and moon, with earth and sea's rich gems, With April's first-born flowers, and all things rare,

(ie. I’m not like other poets who, when inspired by a ‘painted beauty’ use heaven and every other beautiful thing on the planet to make a grand comparison to their muse: he specifically lists the sun and moon as examples as well as other beautiful things)

He then goes on to say

And then believe me, my love is as fair As any mother's child, though not so bright As those gold candles fixed in heaven's air:

(ie. my love [the FY] is as beautiful as any other beautiful person, though I wouldn’t compare them to the stars/heavens (which is what he means by the 'gold candles’. those are stars.))

So shakespeare insults poets who compare their subjects to the sun, moon, and stars (amongst other things) and in the comics, Joe does literally exactly that

That man is the stars in my sky, and the sun that lights my days. That man is the moon when I'm lost in darkness, and warmth when I shiver in cold.

shakespeare also goes on to say in the same sonnet “Let them say more that like of hearsay well / I will not praise that purpose not to sell” which is to say ‘let people who like that kind of language use it, I wont because I don’t want anyone else to have the subject of my affections (the FY)’.

(which is a bit of a contradiction regarding his feelings abt the FY getting married, but these sonnets are full of contradictions. shakespeare was a confused dude; man spent the first 100 or so sonnets convinced the FY loved him back only for him to start wondering if the FY ever loved him near the end)

(not to mention Marriage For Love wasnt really.. much of a thing in Ye Olden Times but thats a different conversation. so shakespeare prolly didnt associate marriage with love/competition? anyways)

Shakesy-boo goes on to complain about this rival several times. In #79, he says

Yet what of thee thy poet doth invent He robs thee of, and pays it thee again. He lends thee virtue, and he stole that word From thy behaviour; beauty doth he give, And found it in thy cheek: he can afford No praise to thee, but what in thee doth live.

(ie. everything ‘your poet’ (as the FY apparently favored this unnamed rival) says about you, he takes it from you in the first place. he talks about your virtue, but learned the word from watching your behavior. he calls you beautiful but only discovered beauty by looking at your face. every compliment he gives you he took from you in the first place)

[and, as a smaller example, he also bemoans the fact that people want to paint the FY in #67, saying, “Why should false painting imitate his cheek, / And steal dead seeming of his living hue?”. and yknow. Joe’s an artist.]

And then another example in #86

Was it the proud full sail of [the rival’s] great verse, Bound for the prize of all too precious you, That did my ripe thoughts in my brain inhearse, Making their tomb the womb wherein they grew?

Was it his spirit, by spirits taught to write Above a mortal pitch, that struck me dead?

(ie. he’s talking about how he’s having difficulty writing abt the FY and is rhetorically asking if ‘the proud sail’ of the rival’s verses was the reason his ‘ripe thoughts’ were killed in their ‘womb’. He then asks (again rhetorically) if it was the rival’s ‘spirit’ (or creativity, maybe) ‘’’‘by spirits taught to write’’’’ that killed his own drive to write. none of the analyses I’ve read really explain what shakespeare means by ‘spirits taught to write’, other than maybe being a joke or reference to something we dont know, but... ‘taught by dead people to write in a way mortal people can’t’ very much sounds like a description of an immortal poet, eh?)

Which brings me to,

D. Willy Boy Thinks There Are 500 Year Old Writings About the Fair Youth

shakespeare talks about people having written about the FY ‘500 years ago’ from the late 1500s in #59 which......................... would have been around 1100 AD. :thinking face:

Oh that record could with a backward look, Even of five hundred courses of the sun, Show me your image in some antique book, Since mind at first in character was done, That I might see what the old world could say To this composed wonder of your frame;

(ie. Oh if I could look back 500 years and see how you were described in some old books so I could see/reference what people used to write about you)

Which again brings me to,

E. I’m Not Saying shakespeare Stole From Joe, But:

1.) In #22, shakespeare says this,

For all that beauty that doth cover thee, Is but the seemly raiment of my heart, Which in thy breast doth live, as thine in me:

(ie, your beauty is due to the ‘clothes’ my heart gives you-- probably means something like ‘you’re beautiful because i love you’. goes on to say his heart lives in the FY’s chest, and the FY’s heart lives in shakespeare’s chest)

so: shakespeare tells the FY he has shakespeare’s heart. in comparison, Joe calls nicky ‘my heart’ in the comics...... :thinking face x2:

2.) In #109, shakespeare tells the FY ‘thou art my all’,

For nothing this wide universe I call, Save thou, my rose, in it thou art my all.

which rings similar to Joe’s ‘he’s all and he’s more’ as well as (from the comics) ‘he is my everything’

and just saying. joe looks pretty #done the mention of shakespeare.

F. The last One

Despite shakespeare writing 30+ poems about the FY eventually growing old, the very last poem he writes about/for the FY says,

O thou, my lovely boy, who in thy power Dost hold Time's fickle glass, his sickle hour; Who hast by waning grown, and therein showest Thy lovers withering, as thy sweet self growest.

(ie. you [the FY] have power over the ‘mirror’ (fickle glass) of time as well as time’s ‘harvesting’ ability (sickle hour) and as you grow older, you remain beautiful while your lovers [shakespeare] wither and grow old)

The transition from ‘get married and have a baby before you get old!!!!’ in #1-20 to talking about the FY’s presence in 500 y/o books in #59 to admitting the FY isn’t growing old in #126 kinda seems to imply shakespeare learning of/about nicky’s immortality at some point, and this last poem is him accepting it.

TLDR: not only does it make perfect sense if nicky was the Fair Youth from the FY sonnets, but it also makes perfect sense if joe was the Rival from the FY sonnets. its canon nothing will convince me otherwise

#IS THIS GETTING TAGGED? YES #nicolo di genova #joe x nicky #my_essays #the fair youth saga

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holden-caulfield · 3 years

Text

Stairway To Heaven

↪︎ 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Summary: draco and reader are best friends. Or so she thinks.

Warnings: one swear word i think.

Word Count: 1555

This is not inspired by the song in any way, but the title was fitting sooo

You and Draco had been friends for a very long time, since you could remember, and yet it wasn't unusual for you to be found arguing with the blond at least once a day. Sometimes you would argue about his rude attitude or the latest student he had bullied, but most of the times you simply wanted to tease him. Apparently, seeing what new witty remark he could come up with was the highlight of you day. You loved the banter that characterized your friendship and you couldn't really imagine your life without it.

"I'm telling you, you two are made for each other!" squealed Pansy from the big couch in your common room.

"We are just friends, Pansy! Friends!" you replied incredulously as you plopped down beside her.

"Yeah, just friends... Y/n, it's so obvious!"

"Are you sure you're okay?" you asked feigning concern as you put your hand on her forehead to check her temperature.

"Oh, shove off!" she scolded, swatting your hand away. "Don't tell me you've never thought about it!"

"Of course not!" you lied.

You had thought about you and Draco being something more quite a few times now, but the prospect of ruining everything was enough for you to put that thought aside. You found yourself daydreaming about his soft blond hair and his sharp jawline more than you cared to admit. Not to talk about his eyes, always looking at you and making you feel as if you were the most precious thing in the world.

But you couldn't ruin your friendship. He probably didn't feel the same way and even if he did you couldn't risk losing what you had. The ease, the trust, the teasing.

In that moment, someone descended the stairs of the boys' dormitory, Draco. You and Pansy looked up at him, eyes wide. He stopped behind the couch, confused by the weird stares that you and Pansy were giving him.

"What?"

"Have you heard us?" you asked, slightly panicked. You didn't know why you were feeling this anxious, maybe some part of you wanted him to feel something for you other than friendly affection.

"Why? Were you talking about me?" his face instantly lit up with a smug smile and he leaned on the couch with his elbows.

"Why yes, in fact. I was just telling Pansy how immensely insufferable you are." you retorted, feeling incredibly relieved knowing that he hadn't heard you.

He got up from his previous place and resumed his path towards the door of the common room, scoffing. Before exiting, he added another comment, smirking playfully, "Oh and Pansy, me and y/l/n? Really? I hoped you thought more highly of me."

You knew it was nothing more than a joke, but why did it hurt? He had obviously heard you, he heard you saying that you couldn't even picture him as your boyfriend and he had said the same thing, yet it hurt more than you imagined. Maybe Pansy was right.

The next few days, you tried to forget about your new-found feelings for your best friend and your last conversation, but it was easier said than done. You felt as if you owed him some kind of explanation even though he expressively said he saw you just as a friend. Nothing more.

"Draco, wait a moment!" you began, preventing him from entering your first class of the day. He simply raised his brows and you continued.

"I wanted to apologize. For the other day. I shouldn't have said that."

"Said what?" you rolled your eyes, he was one of the smartest people you knew and yet he could be really daft sometimes.

"About you. That i could never see you as something else."

"But you are right. We are friends, nothing else." with that he left you alone and entered the classroom. You didn't know whether his answer cheered you up or devastated you. Definitely the second.

You tried behaving as always, but he seemed to be ignoring you. You had almost all of your classes together and yet he managed to avoid you every single time. Even when you could actually talk to him, he was different, he was suddenly very cold. He was with everyone but he had never been with you and this really bothered you. So you decided to confront him, you decided that you would have told him what you felt: your friendship was already in jeopardy, might as well completely ruin it. The idea terrified you, Draco had always been by your side and imagining a life without him seemed impossible. Maybe you did like him. Maybe you did love him.

"Draco! Draco, we have to talk!" but Draco sped up, not even glancing up. He had no right to ignore you like that so you quickened your pace to match his.

"Draco, we need to talk!" but the boy continued on walking, ignoring you completely.

"Fine! If you don't want to talk, you are going to listen." you asserted and Draco simply covered his ears. Mouth agape, you stared at him, still walking, almost running. The audacity of this man.

You swatted his hands away and he glared at you. He had never glared at you, not in that way. Pure hatred seemed to dance in his icy eyes, even colder than usual. You took a deep breath and started your speech which eventually turned in an incoherent mumbling.

"Listen Draco, i don't know what i did to deserve this, but i highly doubt i did something so spiteful to earn this kind of treatment." he still wasn't looking at you and continued his way towards the common room, but in his eyes something changed, he looked almost ashamed.

"You are incredibly important to me, you've never shown me anything but support and that's why i could never forgive myself if i involuntarily hurt you in some way. You are my best friend, for Merlin's sake!" Draco's eyes seemed to harden again and a scowl started to paint on his face.

"And i won't deny you that you're even more than a friend to me." Draco finally side glanced at you as the two of you were now walking up the stairs, surrounded by hundred of paintings looking at you curiously.

"I care about you so much and you don't even look at me. Every day i look forward to see your stupid face and hear your stupid voice, to have one of our usual stupid conversations and hear your stupid laugh so that every night i can go to sleep and think about your beautiful face and your beautiful voice, about our conversations and your laugh that i wouldn't trade for the whole bloody world." Draco was proceeding increasingly slower and you were walking side by side, trying to get him to look you in the eyes as you kept on going upwards.

"At least look at me, you stupid, unbearable, prissy, arrogant, pretty, handsome git!" your face was red with anger but he didn't stop. "Because what i'm trying to tell you is that i l-"

Draco abruptly grasped your waist and pulled you closer to him. You had been so engrossed in your discourse that you hadn't even noticed that the stairs were changing and that you were about to fall, one foot already dangling in the air. But Draco caught you and you were now pressed against his chest while he gazed at the void you were about to fall in. His chest rose up and down wildly and you could hear his heart thumping at a ridiculously quick pace under your cheek.

The stairs stopped again in front of a corridor but neither of you seemed to able to move. Then, Draco grasped your shoulders pulling you away from him but still exceedingly close.

"Are you ok?" his eyes searched yours for any signs of hurt and you just stared back.

"Are you talking to me now?" you asked sternly, making his expression go from one of concern to one of sorrow in a matter of seconds.

"I'm sorry, y/n." he admitted, eyes glinting as he held you firmly in front of him.

"For what? For being an asshole?"

"For not telling you before that i never wished for us to be just friends." his unexpected confession caused you to stare at him for a few seconds before a huge grin spread on your face and you took his pale face in your hands, which turned bright pink at the sudden contact. You kissed him, you finally kissed him.

"I advise keeping such displays of affection for closed doors." boomed a voice in front of you and you and Draco leapt backwards, clinging to the railing behind you with both hands. Snape eyed each of you with scorn before passing between you two and descending the stairs. "10 points from Slytherin."

As he got out of your sight, you couldn't help but burst out laughing and Draco followed swiftly. You then looked down at your feet, a big grin still plastered on your face. He inched closer, lifting your chin up to face him.

"So... you think i'm handsome." he said smugly.

"I also said that you are unbearable."

"Yes, but you think i'm handsome."

"But i-" he cut you off by reconnecting your lips together.

"I have to admit that i kinda like this new way of shutting me up."

Taglist <3

@turn-to-page-394-please @gwlvr @dracosaccount @astoria-malfcy @dracomalfoys-wh0re @ch0kemedracomalfoy @cherie-draco @oeuryale @wh0re4blaise

[if your name is crossed out, check your privacy settings!]

#fanfic #fanfiction #harry potter #draco lucius malfoy #draco malfoy #draco imagine #draco x reader #draco x y/n #draco malfoy fluff #fluff #draco fluff #draco soft #sarcastic

358 notes · View notes

itsallyscorner · 3 years

Text

Thank you for the request, love!🎄❤️ Hope you don’t mind, I did some changes but it still follows the concept of your request! I hope you like it and happy reading!!❤️ @palna

💌.

The One I’ve Been Missing

This was kinda inspired by Little Mix’s song, “One I’ve Been Missing”, give it a listen :)

Warnings: some angst? Kinda sad for a Christmas fix..but has a some what happy ending. This came out longer than expected..enjoy, I tired:)

(Gif from Pinterest)

The living room was full of smiles and laughter as your family began to create plans for Christmas Day. It was Christmas Eve, and knowing your family, everything was to come together last minute. Though your family didn’t live too far, they had been staying at your place since the weather at your hometown had been absolutely horrible. There had been snow storms that closed down schools, took out power lines, and covered the ground in a thick white blanket of snow.

Your cousins have been arguing about who was going to make the Mac and Cheese this year when your phone began to vibrate in your pocket. You took your phone out and saw that it was Paddy. Paddy was Tom’s younger brother. Even though you and Tom had broken up, your relationship with his family was still strong. You and his brothers had gotten along so well, that they loved you like you were their sister. His parents, Nikki and Dom, have been very supportive of you during the breakup. They were disappointed in Tom for what he did and even apologized for their son’s actions. Though your relationship with their son was undecided at the moment, they always made an effort to call you on holidays or to just say hello once in a while.

You quietly excused yourself and entered the kitchen. Answering the call, you lean on the marble counters of your kitchen. The call goes through and Paddy’s adorable face pops up on your screen. His smile grows into his rosy cheeks when he finally sees you.

“(Y/n)! Merry Christmas!” He happily screams through the phone. You hear Nikki scold him in the background.

“(Y/n), darling! Merry Christmas!” She smiles while waving at the camera.

“Thank you! You guys look like you’re having a blast over there!” You hear a ton of commotion in the background, which was most likely Tom and his siblings showing off their presents to each other or having some pointless argument.

“We are! Sam’s cooked our lunch and he’s planning on making dinner later today! We’ve already opened presents and everyone’s happy! How are you, love? Are you with your family?” She questioned you as she sat on the couch. You saw Dom beside her, who made a funny face and waved at you. You chuckled waving back.

“I’m doing really good, my family has been staying with me for the last few days, so we’ve been together for about a week now? But everything’s going great! It’s Christmas Eve here and now we’re just waiting till midnight to start passing out presents!” You answer.

“Oh that’s good! I’m glad you got to spend time with your family because I’ve heard the weather there has been harsh! Thankfully Harry made it out before that big storm, if he didn’t he wouldn’t be home for the holidays!” Harry had been in your hometown because Tom was filming a new movie there. The set was only an hour away from where you lived, but you never went to visit. Although, you and Harry would meet up sometimes to have lunch together in the city, Harrison would tag along once in a while as well.

“Harry made it home! That’s good news, I was worrying that they wouldn’t make it back on time for Christmas!” You hear someone talk in the background.

“Is that (y/n)?” A deep voice asks. You recognize it to be Harry’s. Nikki nods and motions at him to say hello. Sam and Harry’s heads pop onto the screen with silly grins.

“(Y/n)! Merry Christmas! You look beautiful!” Sam compliments you with a charming smile.

“Aw thank you Sam! You look handsome!” A light blush forms on the boy’s cheeks. Harry takes the phone and asks, “How’s the weather there? Has the storm died down?”

You glanced out the window and saw nothing but white. The storm had stopped yesterday, but there were some random snowfall here and there.

“Well it’s stopped for now, my backyard is literally nothing but white.” You chuckle as you turn your camera to show your spacious backyard.

“Oh! Isn’t that wonderful, we haven’t gotten much snow here this year.” You hear Dom comment. You turn the camera back to yourself and ask Harry, “How was the flight, Haz? Hope it wasn’t too bumpy.”

Harry hummed, “The plane departed when the storm died down so it was a decent flight. There was some turbulence when we got up in the air but it went by smoothly after.”

“At least you got home safe, that’s all that matters.”

“I’m quite surprised I handled the turbulence well on my own. I was getting anxious when the plane started to shake, but towards the end of the flight it was all good.” Your brows furrowed. It was a known fact that Harry wasn’t that good with turbulence (I made that fact up, he’s probably ok w/ turbulence idk). Since he usually traveled with Tom, he had to board many flights. Tom would be the one to calm his brother down when his anxiousness got the best of him. Which made you concerned because you knew Tom wouldn’t let his younger brother board a plane on his own while a snow storm was happening outside.

“Wait Harry, you were by yourself?” You began to question him. Harry was a grown adult, he’s 21, but it still concerned you.

“Yeah, Tom had to stay back since he had to film more scenes.” Harry answered.

“Oh. Did he at least make it back home before the storm?” You continued. A frown was on the boys lips.

“Nope, he got stuck in (your hometown). I was supposed to still be there with him, but he literally forced me to get on a flight home before Christmas.” Harry shrugged. A pout formed on your own lips at the thought of Tom getting stranded in (your hometown). Also the fact that he was probably alone during the holidays. Sure, you and him weren’t on the best terms, but it was Christmas. No one should be alone on Christmas.

You continued to talk to the Holland family for a few more minutes until they told you they had to go. You bid them all goodbye with kisses and a wave before hanging up. When the call ended, the smile on your face fell. You should’ve been happy. You were spending time with your family and it was Christmas Eve! But some things never change. As always, Tom had crept his way into your thoughts.

The breakup between you two was rough and messy. Though you should have seen it coming. There was a lack of communication on both sides of the relationship. You weren’t being honest with your feelings with him and neither was he. Of course, you understood his job. You knew he would have to travel long distances and be in a different time zone as you, he had to be gone for months, and had to work with some of the most beautiful actresses in the business. But there was something about this certain costar that didn’t sit right with you. You trusted Tom and knew that he would never cheat. You just didn’t trust her. You really tried to like her, even had some conversations with her when you went to visit Tom on set. But the way she would touch his arm whenever she would laugh or look at him the same way you would just made your blood boil. Maybe it was the green eyed monster in you that caused all these emotions, you just couldn’t help it. The green eyed monster had taken over you.

For months while Tom worked on that movie, you had been feeling your lowest. You were insecure about yourself and began to second guess things that occurred in your relationship with Tom. Which was not healthy, but it happens, you know? You hated the way you looked and how your body was shaped. You compared yourself to her even though you knew most of the pictures on her Instagram were very much edited. The more Tom got busy, the less he texted or called. Your relationship felt like it was drifting but you still made an effort. You would text him to ask about his day or to just say a simple “good morning” or “good night”. He never got the chance to reply most of the time, but when he did it would be a short response. It wasn’t like the paragraphs of him going on and on about his day and how great it was. Sometimes he would talk about getting a stunt correctly done in one take or how he would get his lines right the first time. You didn’t think much of the short replies, you usually chalked it up to him just being busy. But then you would see him on Harry or Harrison’s story at some restaurant gathered all together. Then she would also be there, nuzzled up against his side while his arm rested behind her chair. That should’ve been you.

You didn’t want to think that he was cheating on you, but the signs were literally there. You shouldn’t have fallen for them and should have talked it out with Tom instead of focusing on the scenarios that were created in your head. You knew Tom was smarter than that. He wouldn’t cheat on you, he promised you that he wouldn’t break your heart. Then those pictures from the club came out.

They were all over Instagram and Twitter. You had multiple fans tagging you on them and saw them everywhere on your feed. It was as if the world was trying to shove it into your face. The picture was taken at a club, it was the usual group of boys accompanied by some cast members from the movies. You assumed there had been some drinks involved, but Tom looked sober as ever. There were many pictures of them. There were some of them laughing, dancing, and drinking together. You spotted his arm wrapped around her waist or his hand touching her in almost all of them. Finally, there were the pictures of them practically sucking the lips off of each other’s faces. They disgusted you. The way his hands were combed through her hair or how they stroked her cheek reminded you of how he kissed you. You remember feeling sick to your stomach. The pain and the anger blended together as the tears blinded your eyes. It was like a bad dream that you couldn’t wake up from.

You realized you had been staring at your phone for the past 10 to 15 minutes. Tears welled up in your eyes as your memory began to remind you of the scar that Tom had left on your life. You felt the presence of the emptiness in your heart that you thought had healed months ago. You still love him. No matter the bullshit you went through with him, you’ve never loved anyone like Tom. The one you’ve been missing was the only thing that could fix the hollowness in your heart.

“You should invite him.” You jump as your mother makes herself present in the room. You place a hand onto your heart to calm its rapid beating.

“Geez, don’t do that.” You run a hand through your hair as you lean on the counter again. Your arms touch the cold marble, bringing some coolness into your warm body.

“You’ve been gone for about thirty minutes, it’s past twelve. Everyone was worrying about you.” You mother settled herself beside you, instead her back was leaning against the marble.

“You still love him.” She tells you quietly. You’re quick to react and stand up straight, “No I— ow my tongue!”

You whine as your teeth bite down on your tongue, your actions acting before your words.

“I don’t.”

“Really? If you didn’t love him anymore, you wouldn’t be talking to his family still or meeting up with his brothers during the weekend” you mother tilted her head at you, her arms crossed.

You shrugged, “They’re nice people.”

“You know, you should stop avoiding the truth. Denying your feelings and lying to yourself is only going to hurt you even more. I’m your mother, I hate seeing you hurt.” You turned to your mom.

“Don’t you hate him?” You asked her, voice quiet.

Your mother had a look of thought on her face, “Of course, I do, he broke your heart. But I don’t know, there’s just something about that boy.”

She snapped her fingers, “Ah! He reminds me of your dad!”

You raise a brow at her, “Tom reminds you of dad?”

“He does. I remember when we were younger, your dad made the same mistakes. I hated his guts but we crossed paths again somewhere down the road and I gave him a second chance. Now how many years later, we’re married with beautiful children and grandchildren.”

You remain silent as you stare at your phone again. You thought about asking Harry for Tom’s address but you were hesitant.

“He’s probably stuck here for a reason, (y/n).” Your mom says with a knowing look. You sigh rubbing the tiredness out your eyes. It had been a long day and you were low on energy.

“He could also be thinking about you right now.” She hummed, starting to make her way out the kitchen.

“How would you know?” You ask her.

“You bit your tongue.” She simply answers before turning the corner. You were alone in the kitchen staring at your phone once again. The debate in your head continuing throughout the night.

~The Next Day~

Your gloved hands gripped onto the steering wheel as you drove through the snowy roads. You were mindful to keep an eye out for any glossy patches to avoid getting into an accident. You turned on the street Harry sent you and peered out your window to look for the number of Tom’s rented house. Harry texted you that the house was a light gray color with black accents and had a 35 nailed to the door. When you spotted the house that matched Harry’s description, you pulled over and put the car in park. You hopped out the car, shivering when the brisk winter air came into contact with your face. Your boots sink into the snow as you trudge your way up to his door.

You get to his doorstep and began to stomp the snow off your boots. Taking a deep breath you brace yourself before you can ring his doorbell.

“It’s Christmas, he shouldn’t be alone on Christmas, this is why you’re doing this.” You mumble to yourself. You started to shake but you weren’t sure if it were your nerves or the cold. It was probably both.

You finger hovered over the doorbell for a moment before you forced yourself to push it. A string of “fucks” began to play over and over in your head like a mantra.

You waited for a few seconds for him to answer but heard nothing. You debated on ringing the bell again but your feet were already turning you away from the door, too scared to face Tom again. You were about to step off his doorstep when you heard footsteps behind the door. The lock clicked and the door opened to reveal Tom, looking disheveled as ever.

His eyes widen when he realizes it was you who rang his bell. His mouth is agape as he tries to form words. The only thing he could muster out is, “(y/n).”

“Hey.” You breath out, taking him in after avoiding him for months straight. You slowly approach him, settling to stand a few feet away from him. His hair had grown out a bit longer and there was a shadow of some facial hair on his face. You noticed that his eyes were a bit dark, almost blank. It was as if the light in his eyes had disappeared.

“What—What are you doing here?” He began to ask. He rushes to add, “Not that I don’t want you here, I’m actually really glad you’re here, but—um. I’m just— hi.” He sighs, shoulders slumping. He eyes you for a second before jumping on his feet.

“How rude of me, do you want to come in? It’s freezing out here.” He moves to the side and opens the door wider so you can walk in. You didn’t want to enter his place but the warmth of the house and the familiar scent of Tom entranced your senses.

You wiped your boots on the doormat and quietly thanked him as you walked into his rented home. You noticed that Love Actually had been playing on the tv while the couch was occupied with a bowl of popcorn and an abandoned Sherpa blanket. You loosen the scarf around your neck and turn to Tom who was already looking at you.

“So, what brings you around? Thought you didn’t want to talk to me ever since what happened.” His voice is strained as he leans against the doorway to the living room.

“Paddy called me on FaceTime yesterday.” You started. Tom sighed, shaking his head at his younger brother. You wave him off, “Don’t worry, I didn’t mind. He actually helped me avoid a family argument about Mac and Cheese.”

Tom was looking down at the floor but you saw his cheeks slightly raise, “Yeah, you never did mind Padd’s eagerness.”

“Well, he’s adorable. Anyway, I ended up talking to Harry and he said that you got stuck here during the blizzard. Also, that you were spending the holidays alone.” You began to explain rocking on the balls of your feet. You turn to his tv, the voices from it murmuring quietly, “So, if you’re done watching Love Actually for the hundredth time, um, you could come over at my place and spend Christmas with my family.”

Tom pushes off the wall and slowly shuffled towards you. His arms are crossed, something he did when he felt nervous or awkward.

“I wouldn’t want to impose, (y/n).” He finally looks up at you, his familiar brown eyes that you missed so much sending comfort into your body.

“Mom insisted.” A hint of a teasing smile played on your chapstick covered lips. No matter the situation between you and Tom, you knew he could never turn down your mother. He adored your mother, he always remembered the time when you first introduced him to her. She welcomed him with open arms and treated him like he were her fifth child.

He lets out a laugh, looking down at himself, “Guess that means I should clean up then?”

He was wearing a grey jumper with black sweatpants. A blue beanie was on his head, the ends of his curls peaking out, and his feet were covered in socks to keep him warm.

“Yeah.” You breathed out, relieved that he agreed to come and you didn’t embarrass yourself.

Tom begins to dust off the couch and moves the popcorn bowl to the coffee table. He sloppily folds the blanket and fluffs the pillows.

“I might take a while, so why don’t you get comfy?” He suggests.

“Sounds good.” You hum and unwrap the scarf from your neck. Tom is by your side at an instant and takes it from your hand. He motions at your jacket causing you to unzip it. He shuffles behind you to help you remove your arms from the sleeves. You turn around to thank him while moving your hair to rest on one side of your shoulder. You catch him staring at you once again.

“What?”

“You just look really beautiful.” He immediately answers. You’re about to respond but Tom begins to talk again, “I—I know I have no place in telling you that, but you just are.”

“Thanks, Tom.” You quietly say. He nods and moves to hang your things on the coat rack. He’s about to head up the stairs but he turns around to look at you again.

“Can we talk after?” His tone is soft, as if he were afraid of breaking the peacefulness between the two of you.

“Yeah. Yeah, we can talk.”

~⏰~

You wait in the living room for Tom to get himself ready. You try to watch the movie but all you can think about was what Tom and you could possibly talk about. You knew it would be about the breakup, but what else was there to discuss?

You heard Tom make his way down the stairs. Your eyes avert themselves to where Tom was coming from. He wore a dress shirt that had white and cream colored stripes going down it, pairing the shirt with dark jeans and dress shoes. His outfit wasn’t too fancy nor casual, it was perfect for Christmas Day with your family.

The smell of his cologne lingered it’s way to your nose. You recognized the smell even months after not seeing Tom. It was the cologne you had gotten him for his birthday. He fell in love with it the moment you gave it to him and had been wearing it ever since. You honestly thought he would switch it up after the breakup, but according to your nose, he hasn’t.

Tom presents himself to you, standing a few feet away from where you were sitting. “How is this? Too much?”

“You’re good, it’s spot on.” You reassure him. Tom hums in approval before settling himself beside you.

This was it. You guys were finally going to talk.

Tom rubs his hands together, resting his elbows on his knees. He looks at you over his shoulder, “It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, hasn’t it?”

“Or talked.” You add with a slight shrug. An awkward silence placed itself upon you two.

Tom was the first to speak, “I was a dick. I still am, but I was a dick back then for all the shit I put you through.”

You hesitate to answer but end up agreeing, “You were a dick. But we were both responsible for what happened.”

Tom shook his head, “No, don’t try to make me feel better. I know what I did was stupid and I should have been honest with you from the start. This was all my fault. I was a horrible boyfriend, everyone made me see that. Including my parents.”

Tom turns his body to face you, “I thought not telling you this would hurt you and I less, but it only made it a hundred times worse.” Your brows bunch together.

“What do you mean?”

“I know when we broke up I said a bunch of bullshit, but I just want to explain myself, please?” His eyes are pleading, almost glossy. You motion for him to continue.

“The thing that happened between me and her was all the studio’s plan. Though I’m not going to lie and say it was all their fault, because I also played a part in it. But that was how it started. They wanted us to put on a show and lead the fans on so it could be used as promo for the movie.” He admitted. Your mouth gapes at his confession. He was probably telling the truth, but it could’ve also been a front.

“And you’re telling me this now? What, did it take you eight months to come up with an excuse for cheating?” You angrily said. “And even if it was for promo, it’s still cheating, Tom! You knew you had a girlfriend when you agreed to go along with their stupid plan!”

Tom sighed frustratedly, rubbing his palms against his face, “I know, I know it sounds made up but I swear to you, (y/n) I’m telling you the truth!”

“Then why didn’t you tell me about it from the start? Did you really think lying was better than telling me the truth? I thought we were supposed to be honest with each other, you literally broke so many promises, Tom!” You stood up, the anger fuming in you growing too much for your body.

Tom stood up as well, “I only lied to you to protect you! I thought it would be better if you thought we were drifting apart than telling you I had to be publicly seen with a girl that’s not you! By the way, I wasn’t the only one who was being dishonest, so were you!”

“No, don’t turn this around on me! I wouldn’t have to had lie about my feelings if you would’ve told me the truth! This was all your fault Tom, you’re the one who agreed to some stupid pr stunt.” Your finger jabbed itself into his chest as you told him off about his doings.

Tom took your jabs as he shamefully looked down at his feet. “You don’t think I know that?”

“I know this was my fault, (y/n).” His tearful eyes lock onto yours. His jaw clenched as he tried to stop his tears from falling.

Your hand comes back to rest at your side, “If you knew it would break us up, then why did you agree to it, Tom?”

“Because it was either actually breaking up with you or agreeing to some stunt that’ll make me seem like some Hollywood hotshot who gets all the women.” He confessed. To Tom, it felt like a weight had been taken off his shoulders. But to you it felt the opposite. All the new information seemed as if it were piling up on you, making you overwhelmed.

“If I chose neither of them, I would’ve been fired from the film and they were planning on blackmailing me, so I chose the second option. I know it wasn’t the best decision, seeing how we are now. But it was the only choice where I would still be with you.” He explains leaning forward to her closer to you. Your arms crossed to form some kind of protection for yourself.

You had just realized that Tom forced himself into a stunt just so he can still be with you. It wasn’t the best option, but he chose the option where the two of you could still be together. You sighed not knowing how to react, it all just seemed like too much.

“I—Tom you can’t just tell me all of this and expect everything to be okay between us.” You run your hand through your hair. Your eyes watering from the frustration.

“I understand why you would keep it from me, but why did you wait so long? You could’ve said that eight months ago and I probably wouldn’t have hated you as much as I do now.” Your nails dig into your skin.

Tom looks up at you, “You hate me?” He croaks out.

Your head tilts at him, “Why wouldn’t I hate you? I hate you—I’m supposed to hate you but I just can’t and I don’t know why. You’re just, you’re you and no matter how many times I try to hate you I just can’t.”

Tom shifts closer, his frame now towering over you. His fingers slightly brush against yours, causing a rush of electricity to shoot through your body.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything, I know I should have been honest and told you the truth. I know what I did wrong and I’m sorry.” He gently cups your face to look up at him. You missed the feel of his hands against your skin and couldn’t hold yourself back from nuzzling against his warm palms.

“I still love you so much, (y/n). I never stopped. I just—is it too late for a second chance? I know it’s not going to be the same as when we were together but I’m willing to try again. I promise I will try harder and I’ll be honest, I’ll do everything for you to be mine again. All I want is just another chance.” His thumbs brush against your cheeks. Your hands come up to grip onto his wrists.

“Tom, I don’t know.”

“Please (y/n), it’s been so hard without you. Please I just need you again. I miss you so much, everything’s been going wrong ever since you left and I feel empty. I’m not complete without you.” His voice cracks as he begs for you to give him a chance. You stare at him for a moment and your mother’s voice echos in your head.

“He’s probably stuck here for a reason, (y/n).”

Maybe your mother had a point. Things happen for a reason and maybe this was one of this moments.

Your thumbs stroke the skin of his wrist, “Fine, I’ll give you another chance Tom.”

A look of relief is on his face as he wraps his arms around you and pulls you flush against his chest. You feel his heart beating rapidly against your chest as he shoves his face into your neck.

“Thank you.” He mutters against your skin multiple times. “I promise I won’t screw it up, I’m serious.” He pulls away to make sure you’re looking into his eyes.

“I’m trusting you to keep that promise. You’re only getting one chance, Tom.” You warn him. Tom nods eagerly.

“I know, I know, I’m not going to mess this up I swear. I’m going to prove that you could trust me again, I’ll do anything.”

You smile before pressing a light kiss on his cheek, “Ok, if you’ll do anything, then we better get going. Mom’s probably wondering what’s the hold up.”

“Right. Yeah, um before we go. If you want to talk more about what happened before or have any questions, you could ask me anytime. I just dumped all of this on you unexpectedly and it probably feels like a lot.” He offers.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

~⏰~

You and Tom arrived at your house to Christmas music blaring from the tv’s speakers and the happy chatter of your family. Your mom spots Tom at the doorway and her face lights up.

“Tom, you came!” She climbs her way through the mass amounts of wrapping paper and your niece and nephews. Tom meets her halfway and helps her remove the wrapping paper that had stuck onto her pants. She pulls him into a hug, which Tom returns immediately.

“Thank you for inviting me.” He smiles as your mom pats his cheek fondly. She waves him off, “Please honey, no one should be alone for Christmas.”

They continue to talk as your mother leads him into the living room. You see him greeting your siblings and cousins, a shy smile on his face as he shakes their hands. You couldn’t help but stare at him as he interacted with your family. It made you feel whole and warm inside, as if the emptiness in your heart was finally recovering.

You were taking off your boots when a shadow fell upon you. You look up to see Tom standing above you. “Need help?”

“No, I almost had it, the knot’s too small for my nails to undo it.” You mutter as your fingers continue to fumble with the knot. Tom kneels in front of you and gently removes your fingers from your boot.

“Let me do it, I know how fussy you get when you mess up your nails.” You smile fondly at him. The fact that he remembered how you hated messing up your nails after getting them done made the butterflies in your stomach erupt.

He gets the knot undone successfully and pulls off your boot. He holds a hand out for you and you take it. You stand up and thank him before glancing at your clothes.

“I’m gonna go upstairs and clean myself up for lunch. I’ll be back.” You place a hand on his shoulder before turning to go up the stairs. You feel his hand grip onto yours, pulling you back.

“I’ll save you a seat beside me?”

You squeeze his hand, “Yeah, I appreciate it.”

He watches you head up the stairs till the moment you turn the corner. He couldn’t believe you were back in his life. You haven’t changed at all in the months you’ve been apart. You were still beautiful and radiant as ever. He was so thankful for whatever gods that allowed him to have a second chance with you. You were all he wanted and he wasn’t going to screw it up like last time.

Your mother had called for everyone to sit at the table and you still weren’t there. Thirty or more minutes had passed since you went upstairs and so far he’s been catching up with your siblings and cousins. He’s also been dragged into playing “race cars” with your nephews and “princesses” with your only niece. Everyone had slowly shuffled into your dinning room but you were still missing. Tom even hung back in the living room for a while to see if you would catch up.

You mother spotted Tom looking back at the stairs as he decided to join your family in the dining room. She approached him and turned him towards the stairs, “Why don’t you go and check on her, tell her lunch is ready.”

Tom nods and climbs up the stairs. He’s been to your home multiple times while you two were together so he wasn’t lost. He found your door and knocked on it.

“I’ll be down in a sec!” He hears you yell from behind the door.

“Your mom said to call you down for lunch and see what’s been taking you so long.” Tom leans against the wall as he wait for you to open the door. The lock clicks and you pull it open. Your hair was in loose curls and there was some light makeup on your face. You weren’t in the jeans and sweater you were in earlier, now you were dressed in a white sweater and grey knee high boots.

“Hey.” He greets you. “You ready?”

“Yeah, I think I am.” You close the door behind yourself and stand across from Tom. He notices a shimmer around your neck. The silver chain with a circle charm hanging from it caught his eyes.

“You still have that?” He points out stepping closer to you. You glance at the necklace, “Of course I do. You gave it to me for my birthday.” Your fingers envelope around the charm, fiddling with it.

“You look stunning.” He says.

“Thanks.” The two of you stand there for a moment before Tom’s stomach grumbled.

“I think we should get going.” You laughed as you hooked your hand with his.

The two of you sat side by side at the table. He was a gentleman as always. He pulled your seat out for you and pushed it in once you were settled. He helped passed the dishes to you and even insisted on placing the food onto your plate. Lunch had gone smoothly, it was only filled with laughs, some catching up, and the stories your parents would tell at the table every year.

Your parents were in the middle of retelling their first Christmas together with your older brother, their first born. Your parents were reminiscing about the pearl ring your father gave her and how much it meant to her. You were listening to your parents when you felt a hand grip onto yours under the table. You glance down to see Tom had placed his hand above yours. His large hand enveloping your smaller ones.

“You alright?” You lean closer to him so only he can hear you. Tom squeezes your hand as a small smile forms on his lips.

“Yeah, I’m just glad to be here. Thank you.” He whispers. Your other hand covers his, your thumb stroking the top of his hand.

“So am I.” For the first time in those months apart, you finally felt like everything was complete again. Sure, you two had many things to work out and discuss. But right now, all you can think about was the man sat beside you. You weren’t missing him anymore, he was right there beside you. He was actually with you. All you wanted for Christmas was the one you’ve been missing and after eight long months of pain and longing, your wish finally came true.

#marvel #mcu #avengers #Tom Holland #Tom Holland x reader #tom holland imagines #tom holland fluff #tom holland one shot #tom holland angst #tom holland headcanon #tom holland drabble #tom stanley holland #Peter Parker #Peter Parker x reader #Peter Parker imagines #ally’s requests

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xiaojusaur · 3 years

Text

Highway to Heaven

Pairing: Jaehyun x Reader

Genre: Fluff | Smut

Warnings: Car sex, virgin reader, fingering, oral

Word Count: 2.8K

Description: Jaehyun and you are celebrating your first anniversary and he wants to make it special. Pretty inspired in ‘Highway to Heaven’ - NCT 127

Freedom and privacy are two amazing things, more when you share them with the one you love. Not that you experience them often since your parents are strict and wouldn’t let you enjoy much with your boyfriend.

But today is a special occasion: is your first anniversary and Jaehyun made plans to take you on a roadtrip. He asked your parents and convinced them that he would take good care of you. At first they were doubtful about it, but Jaehyun was good with words and he used reverse psychology to get them to say yes.

You got ready in a flowy dress and when he got home to pick you up, he was wearing a simple white shirt and some jeans.

He promised to get you back in one piece but he also said you would arrive a little late.

In the inside of his car he finally could kiss you the way he wanted: passionately. “Gosh, I really wanted to do that,” he said still holding your cheeks in his palms.

You just smiled and looked at him the way that he is: the love of your life.

“So what are the plans?” You asked excitedly.

“Go around, see places we haven’t seen before, do things we can’t do regularly... The day is beautiful today,” he explained.

And he was right, the sun was pale, the day was breezy, and the sky was blue.

You guys were driving down the highway with no destination at all, going wherever life takes you.

Jaehyun had his hand on your thigh while he drove with the other, he looked super sexy. His thumb caressed your thigh unconsciously while he had his eyes on the road. There wasn’t much traffic today, in fact, it was deserted. There was only grass on each side of the road, which was getting pretty boring.

Suddenly, Jaehyun stopped on a curve. You got scared because you thought the car had problems or something.

You looked at him alarmed but he just laughed and said, “Relax, I just want to have alone time with you.” He ran his hand up your thigh.

“Here? On the middle of the highway?” you teased him.

“There’s no one around,” he shrugged.

He got closer and kissed you, you responded placing your hands gently on the back of his neck. The kiss turned more passionate with each passing minute until you both were gasping for air.

“Baby,” he whispered on your lips while his forehead was on yours.

“Mhm?” you asked.

“I know we haven’t had the chance to be this close before, I know this would be your first time ever and it’s supposed to be special, but I really, really want to go to the back of this car with you and make you mine,” he confessed with his eyes closed.

It was really scary. You were gonna have your first intimate moment with Jaehyun and you couldn’t wait. But in the middle of the highway in a car? That changed the whole picture.

“Here? In the middle of the highway? Can’t we go somewhere more private? I wouldn’t mind being in the car but... here?” You were unsure.

“You’re right,” he agreed, “let’s look for something more private.”

You both composed yourselves and he started the car again to continue with your roadtrip.

A few kilometers farther, he saw a lonely tree in the middle of a grassland. He drove right into it, not knowing what you would find on the way because you could barely see other thing than tall grass, but he finally arrive to under the tree.

That place looked magical, like a fairytale. You got off the car to look around you. The breeze was nice, the birds chirped in the distance giving a nice and relaxing atmosphere. Jaehyun embraced you and started caressing your arm. You looked at him and he was already looking at you. He breathed in and said, “This is nice.” You smiled and nodded.

He opened the door and sat on the backseat, looking at you, inviting you with his eyes. You sat by his side but then he whispered in your ear, “Come here,” in the most teasing tone ever.

You straddled him and quickly wrapped your arms around his neck, as he wrapped his around your waist. Like magnets, your lips crashed with each other, not being able to wait another second.

Quickly, his lips ran to your neck, sending a shot of pleasure right between your legs. You tangled your fingers in his hair while his mouth kept going south, now kissing your collarbones. He could feel your breath getting agitated and he took the chance to look you in the eyes and ask, “How are you feeling?” while his hands slid your dress’ straps off your shoulders.

“I feel great,” you whispered. You could feel him getting hard under you, so you started getting impatient. Out of instinct, you started grinding on him. He closed his eyes and leaned back on the backseat, enjoying the feeling. He hummed and said, “Are you sure you don’t know what you’re doing?”

You smirked and said, “I’m just following my instincts.”

“Well your instincts are doing amazing, baby,” he groaned.

When you were about to start kissing again, your phone rang. You both jumped and you took your phone to see who dared to interrupt such a moment of heat. It was your best friend.

“Don’t answer,” he said softly. “Tell her you’re busy, she should know.”

And that was probably true, so you just answered quickly, “I’m kinda busy, is something wrong?” Jaehyun kept kissing your neck, nibbling it, he was so mean! He was testing your strength.

You could hear her smirk almost, “Oh? OH! Okay!!! I’m sorry!” She hung up quickly.

“Where were we? Oh, right...” Jaehyun said with a groggy voice and then kissed your shoulder. “Shall we take this off?” He asked grabbing the hem of your dress.

“If it bothers you,” you shrugged.

“Everything covering your body is bothering me right now, baby girl,” he confessed as he lifted your dress. He threw the piece of cloth to the front seat.

You haven’t been with anyone yet, but just in case this happened, you wore your white lace lingerie and it worked since he was left speechless as soon as he saw you.

You got shy when he eyed you from bottom up and you covered your face with your hands.

He took your hands in his and whispered, “Don’t be shy, you look stunning. In fact, you look like a Greek goddess.” His hands traveled to your hips, where he pulled you closer to kiss you. You unbuttoned his shirt, exposing his perfect torso. GOD! How come did you have such a perfect boyfriend?

He bit your bottom lip, letting it go slowly. Every touch from his hands had you seeing stars, this was such an intimate moment you couldn’t experienced before. The mellow music on the background was perfect, meanwhile you had your eyes closed as he ran his hands from your thighs to your waist. “So perfect,” he whispered on your mouth, pecking your lips one last time before unfastening your bra.

He froze at the sight of your exposed breasts. His hands quickly grabbed them gently and then he got closer, giving them butterfly kisses until reaching your nipples. He sucked them, licked them and nibbled at them gently, the pleasure going straight to your core. His hands held your back firmly, trying to stop you from melting into his fingers. You were squeezing his thighs with yours in an attempt of easing the ache between your legs.

His hand slid down your torso, past your navel and his fingers snaked their way inside your panties. You felt the butterflies of anticipation in your stomach. Your boyfriend was finally touching you the way you wanted to be touched for so long.

His delicate, long fingers slid between your folds skillfully, he totally knew what he was doing. “Oh...” you moaned as soon as he reached for your clit.

He groaned back at you, “Fuck, baby, you’re so wet...” He looked at you to see your expression while his middle finger was sliding inside of you. The stretch was kinda uncomfortable but had you closing your eyes.

“Oh god, baby, you’re really tight,” he bit his bottom lip. “I really can’t wait to be inside of you,” he confessed in a whisper.

“Let’s make it happen,” you said desperate already.

“Let’s take these off,” he said as he pulled the hem of your panties.

You stood up a little to help him take them off. There you were, all exposed in front of him. As if hypnotized, he studied all your body and bit his lip again.

“Lay back, I gotta prepare you first,” he commanded. You did as told and he moved within the limited space at the back of the car.

Your stomach curled in anticipation. He sat in front of you and said, “Open your legs baby”. That phrase alone sent shivers down your spine. You did it slowly, he was looking right between your legs and he licked his lips when he saw your dripping core.

He helped you to be comfier on the backseat, placing one of your legs on the upper part of the backseat and the other over his shoulder. He bended over, his head was between your thighs, he kissed his way down to your heat. His mouth was too close, you started heavy breathing.

“Calm down, babe, I’m gonna make you feel good,” he whispered, his voice getting deeper. He’d never talked like that before and you were loving every second of it.

Jaehyun dived between your legs, giving a gentle kiss to your mound and then went south, kissing right where you needed him. You jumped from the new sensation but he was being so gentle with you, he looked at you to make sure you were okay. He continued, kissing your clit and then he ran the tip of his tongue between your folds. You felt your eyes rolling back, a moan escaping your lips, “Oh my God...”

“You like it, baby girl?” He stopped his ministrations to ask you.

“Mhm!” You nodded desperately.

He continued licking slowly, enjoying your wetness. Then he increased his pace, flicking his tongue quickly and after, he sucked hard, making you scream, “AH! Fuck!”

Jaehyun sticked his finger again and then added another, stretching you even more. When he knew you were ready, he stopped, leaving you with an emptiness.

“Jaehyun, please, I need you baby,” you pleaded.

“You can have me, I’m all yours,” he replied, smiling sweetly while unbuckling his belt to pull down his pants.

You didn’t dare to look down, even though you were all naked, you were shy to look at your boyfriend. He knew that, so he said in a sultry voice, “Look at me, look at how hard i am for you. This is all for you, my love.”

You ventured into looking down and your eyes got full of his beautiful member, his tip as pink as his ears when he gets flustered.

He took your hands and wrapped one of them around his lenght, hissing at the sensation of your soft hand. He helped you move it up and down, consuming in the feeling.

“Lay down, baby, I’m gonna make you mine,” his voice getting lower by an octave.

You did as told while he fished for a condom in the pocket of his already discarded pants. You watched him roll the thing down his length skillfully and reality hit you: you were about to have your first time with this gorgeous man.

Suddenly you got nervous, what if he didn’t like it? You were inexperienced while he had all the knowledge about it.

He could see the concern in your eyes and he assured you, “Hey... it’s gonna be okay. I’ll be gentle with you, alright?” His soft voice calming you almost instantly. You just nodded letting him know you were ready.

He settled between your legs and holding his dick with one hand and your waist with the other, he started looking for your entrance. You started heavy breathing at the touch of him.

He finally found it and with a little push, his tip entered you. The stretch was burning and you whimpered because of it.

“Shh... it’s okay, we’ll take it slow,” Jaehyun hissed.

You pursed your lips and closed your eyes tightly, bearing the pain while he kept sliding inside you oh so slowly. “My Goodness, you’re so tight,” you heard him say under his breath. When he finally got balls deep into you, he let out a moan in his glorious voice. He looked at you with fiery eyes and asked, “Are you okay?”

You just nodded because you were speechless. He stretched his hand, caressing your cheek and you leaned on it and trapped his thumb inside your mouth, sucking it.

“Oh, baby...” he groaned. “Can I move?” He asked.

“Please...” you begged.

Jaehyun started moving his hips, looking so deliciously sexy while thrusting you slowly. A few strands of his hair were dangling on his face and he looked amazing so concentrated in making you feel good. Every time he went in he hissed and when he went out let out a sigh.

“Oh my God... Jaehyun...” you moaned and he hummed savoring the sound of your voice.

“Fuck baby, you look so pretty,” Jaehyun hissed. “You’re taking my cock so well.”

You whimpered at his dirty talk, discovering how much you liked it.

“Can I go faster?” He asked for your permission, but at that moment he could just wreck you open and you would say thank you.

He took your right leg and placed it on his shoulder while your other leg was hanging from the backseat. Jaehyun held you by the waist and started going fast and deep, constantly hitting a spot that made your eyes roll back.

“Oh my God!!!! Yes!!!! Yesss!!! God!!!” You screamed and gasped, trying to hold yourself from the seat, from the door, from the window, desperately. The car was moving at the rhythm of Jaehyun’s hips, if anyone could see it, would know what was happening inside.

You started feeling a buzz in your head and something in your pelvis trying to explode.

Jaehyun could feel you clenching and groaned, “You wanna cum already babe?”

So that was what you were feeling! “Mhm!” Your breathing got faster and you wanted to scream at the top of your lungs, to let go of something inside you that you didn’t understand.

“Let go baby,” he panted, “Let me see you cum on my dick.”

“Oh Jaehyun! I want to scream!” You confessed as a whine.

“Do it baby, what’s stopping you?” He said, still ramming into you.

You let go and started feeling some delicious tingles throughout your body. Your eyes rolled back and you moaned loudly.

Jaehyun groaned from the feeling of you clenching him, “God! You feel so good!” And with that he came. “Ah~ so good...” he whispered as he gave his last thrust. He leaned over and kissed you, bringing you back to yourself. You ran your hand on his hair and he whispered “I love you” and then kissed the tip of your nose.

He discarded the condom and helped you get dressed again.

You guys continued your journey around town. You stopped at a restaurant and then at the top of a mountain, enjoying the sunset together.

“I booked a hotel for us, but we don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I planned a special night for us,” he said as he kissed your hand.

“Jae, I would go anywhere if you are by my side,” you whispered and then kissed him sweetly. “Plus, now I’m addicted to you,” you confessed, your cheeks flustering.

“Was it THAT good?” He was holding a laugh.

“It was amazing, Jeong Yuno,” you followed his game.

“In that case, I can make it even better,” he was smirking.

“I can’t wait,” you smirked back.

“Oh my God... your parents are going to kill me if they ever find out,” he said in a playful tone.

“They don’t need to,” you shrugged.

“Oh? Watch out world, we have a baddie,” Jaehyun said mockingly.

In the hotel room, on the huge bed, Jaehyun made you his once again. Looking you in the eyes while he thrusted you passionately, enjoying every twist of your face and every moan that escaped your lips. His hair tickling your face whenever he leaned in to kiss you, his hands roaming your body, kneading every inch of your skin to make you feel special.

After you both reached your high, you laid there in his arms. You were tracing imaginary figures on his chest absentmindedly while he caressed your arm. He smelled so nice, so manly, it was addictive.

“I love you so much,” Jaehyun said in a groggy voice, sign of his exhaustion.

“I love you too, Jaehyun,” you smiled.

“Happy anniversary, my angel,” he said as he closed his eyes to take a nap.

#fanfic #nct fluff #nct scenarios #ksmutclub #jaehyun #nct jaehyun #nct smut #nct 127 #jeong yunho #jaehyun smut #jaehyun fluff

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