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#also never trust influencers lmao
violetsandshrikes · 5 months
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Are you anti-supplements as a whole?
That would be pretty hypocritical of me considering i do take a few that have been medically recommended lmao!
However anything I take is always either 1) recommended by a doctor or 2) run by a doctor (and if I ask, it’s because I read it in a peer-reviewed paper and not on a social media post) because bodies are ultimately weird as hell and the balance between helping and harming is razor thin
(Also, I am on supplements due to on-going health issues combined with childhood malnutrition complications!!! Consider your past, future and current circumstances as factors heavily)
Basically, if you really want to supplement, my key advice would be:
• talk to your doctor (if you take psychiatric meds, run past your psychiatrist, if you’re on hormones, check with your endo, etc etc)
• keeps little records (i keep either written or notes on my phone of what i take daily + anything i have noticed in my body whether that be nausea, breakouts, or positive things like high energy etc - this is good advice in general if you have heath issues)
• know about what you take (google scholar is your friend if you can’t find any other reputable scientifically sound sources)
• not mandatory, but knowing a little about common misinfo and scams around the health & wellness industry would probably help more people with being suckered into buying things + health anxiety (for example, i recommend looking into hair/skin/nail supplements which are popular with young women in particular, and how many of them have problematic levels of biotin)
also, i added it in the reblog of that supplement post, but basic knowledge that is helpful to have is basically that:
Water soluble vitamins (C & B complex) -> excreted via urine when in excess -> less chance of toxicity
Fat soluble vitamins (A, D, E & K) -> stored in the body -> greater chance of toxicity
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potatobugz · 29 days
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i was hacked by a very unhappy man!
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harrowscore · 5 months
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why are you, as an adult in 2024, still hung up on reylo. why are you still mocking the shippers. why do you believe yourself to be superior only because you dislike a stupid ship from a fucking space fairytale. girl (gnc) get a grip
#it's ridiculous. this ship is... stupidly cliché. like if you know fandoms at all#you could easily guess why people would be into it. hello?? have you tried to watch tfa without your hate-on-kyle-ron goggles?#did you watch their scenes together? you don't have to like something to recognize the hints#hell. at the time i didn't really like jonerys but i realized they were going to be a thing when i read agot in 2011#like folks. it's been nearly TEN LONG YEARS. let it go. LET IT FUCKING GOOOO#and for the lucy/cooper shippers out there who think reylos are (again) delusional when they compare the two ships:#no. *you* are being delusional only because you think reylo is unsexy and uncool (which is your right to think btw. obv)#if you can't see why someone would like both of these pairings for similar reasons... idk what to say honestly#people compared it to hannigram... honestly. again i see why they would appeal to anyone who's into both ships#i really do. but... unpopular opinion (since i'm more of a clannibal fan than i could ever be of reylo):#they are more similar to reylo than will/hannibal. there i said it#i'm not talking about the writing (admittedly the quality of it was questionable). i'm talking about tropes#never mind that imo the ghoul is more akin to vader than kylo but whatever#hannibal is an unapologetic kind of villain. he's not gonna have a redemption arc and that's okay#cooper is an antivillain who used to be a good man and became a disfigured cruel bastard. a parody of himself#lucy is him. him before the bombs dropped before he discovered the person he trusted the most wanted to commit genocide#nice. moral. polite. infused with the Good Old American Values™. he's basically her dark side#all of this is very hannigram/clannibal. i'm not denying it at all#but what'll likely happen is that lucy's actions will have a positive influence on the ghoul and remind him of what it means to be a man#and that's way more reylo-like. sorry.#beauty&thebeast/villain with some hidden good in him+morally righteous heroine/enemies to lovers etc.#i mean. hello??..... having said that. i'm not so much of a reylo shipper anymore and tbh never was. i really liked it at the time#but i was never fond of the st era. my fav characters are vader and leia and revan from the old eu. just saying#*and* it's also not impossible lucy gets darker with the ghoul as her traveling companion. in fact i wouldn't dislike it at all#if done well i mean#but i would still like for people to be intellectually honest and less puerile. god knows i have my notps#but i really don't give a fuck about the shippers. good for them i guess? i have better taste lmao but that's heavily subjective#val rambles in the tags#val speaks#txt
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uyuforu · 8 months
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Uyu's Astrological Observations III
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₊˚⊹♡ It's so easy to recognize Aquarius placements on instagram, just look at James Deen's Instagram. You will instantly understand why.
₊˚⊹♡ I realized that Saturn in 7H Solar Return Chart is also about limits in relationships, and in this case you could find it hard to find someone else than your crush that year for example. Or your ex. No one seems better. If you are in a relationship, you could find that you are literally only interested in them. Which is a good thing!
₊˚⊹♡ Vertex in 7H in a Solar Return can be a sign of meeting someone that will become very important in your life.
₊˚⊹♡ The more I see people's SR Charts, the more I see many people of different age getting married between 2026-2028. (why?)
₊˚⊹♡ My Juno is in Scorpio 2H 26° (Taurus house & degree), my FS's Juno is also in Scorpio, and he is Taurus rising. His Juno is also in 2H and 2° (both Taurus placements). My Groom is in my 10H, and my FS's Groom falls in his 10H too. My FS's Briede is in Gemini, and my Briede is in my 3H. It also conjuncts my Moon.
₊˚⊹♡ Scorpio placements NEVER forget, and they can hold grudges forever. My grandma has a Scorpio stellium, she has been deceived by a friend when she was a child, and decided to NEVER again trust people too much. She never got a best friend because it.
₊˚⊹♡ The moon persona chart can really tell you about stuff you never realized or stuff you never wanted to accept about yourself.
₊˚⊹♡ Moon/ Cancer/ or Moon influences over the 7H= marrying someone younger than you, or marrying at a young age
₊˚⊹♡ Some people's Juno and Groom/ Briede happen to be the same person, but not for everyone. Juno represents your ideal partner, it has more of a spiritual link and destiny vibe. Some people marry someone they don't have any soul attachment to.
₊˚⊹♡ Saturn/ Capricorn/ or Saturn influences over the 7H= marrying someone older than you, or marrying when you are older.
₊˚⊹♡ Men attracted to women often have their Briede PC looking identical to their wife's Natal Chart.
₊˚⊹♡ My Parents had Vertex in the 5H Composite, and they had a baby (me)
₊˚⊹♡ But they also had Briede and Groom in 3H, they were indeed engaged but never married. And their 7H is empty.
₊˚⊹♡ My step mother's sun also fall in their 9H, conjuncting Chiron. My dad left my mom for her.
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₊˚⊹♡ If you want to see if it's gonna work out with someone, don't only check basic synastry, composite, etc. But also Persona Chart synastry! For example, check Boda PC Synastry, and see if your weddings are "the same".
₊˚⊹♡ Gemini Sun on Boda Persona Chart could indicate having two weddings (just a theory)
₊˚⊹♡ In my DSC Persona Chart, my FS's Natal sun fall in the 7H in that PC. My DSC PC's Juno is in the 7H too, and so also conjuncting his Natal Sun.
₊˚⊹♡ Let's talk about the Union PC, it's not something very known.
₊˚⊹♡ Uranus in my Union PC is in 9H in Aquarius, and I met my FS online first and then in a foreign country where technology is pretty advanced. It was also a sudden meeting!
₊˚⊹♡ The rising of my Union PC is Gemini 22°, and when I met my FS, our meeting was very organized, and I didn't know if it was a date or not, so I was a bit cold and detached. But we met in a foreign country, and I was speaking in a foreign language (English).
₊˚⊹♡ Groom in my Union PC is in Leo 25° (Aries), and my FS was flirty, and very showing off when we met. It's also in 3H, he was a true rizz. Also conjuncting Venus, he REALLY wanted to seduce me. He went hard, it was so obvious lmao.
₊˚⊹♡ This could also explain why my Briede in this PC is in Capricorn, and I was cold and detached lol. His rizz was a turn off.
₊˚⊹♡ Speaking of synastry in Union PC, my Sun there is in Virgo, and in my FS Union PC, Briede is in Virgo. In his Union PC, his Sun is in Leo, and in my Union PC, Groom is in Leo.
₊˚⊹♡ My FS's rising in Union PC is the same as his NC, and Cancer is over the 4H. We met in his homeland, where he was born.
₊˚⊹♡ Also, his Natal North Node conjunct his North Node in Union PC, meaning the meeting with his FS is part of his destiny.
₊˚⊹♡ Our Union also conjunct each other in Union PC Synastry.
₊˚⊹♡ My Briede in Union PC falls in his 11H, and his Groom in Union PC falls in my 11H. We met online first.
₊˚⊹♡ My father had a pretty intense and sometimes toxic relationship with his ex-wife, my step mother, and her sun was in his 8H, conjuncting Chrion... 😬
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₊˚⊹♡ My father also has Part of Fortune in the 9H and it conjuncts his MC. He travels for work.
₊˚⊹♡ My father had 3 children: my sun falls in his 12H and he was an absent father figure in my life. My brother's sun falls in his 3H, and they tell the same joke, have the same way to talk. They have a lot in common when it comes to topics to discuss. And my sisters's sun fall in his 5H, she is the favorite child.
₊˚⊹♡ My Sun conjunct my mother's Ceres, and she is very protective of me.
₊˚⊹♡ I noticed a lot of people have North Node retrogrades. It usually means they think they are going to struggle to meet their destiny. For example: my FS has scorpio 7H North Node. And he has this thought that he will never marry.
₊˚⊹♡ I don't know much about Astrocartography, but I have been studying it a little recently. I realized that my Sun DC line and North Node DC line falls on the place I met my FS ;-;
₊˚⊹♡ I also checked my FS' Astrocartography and he got his North Node DC on the place we met lol.
₊˚⊹♡ I was Scorpio rising in my SRC of the year a lot of guys wanted to be intimate with me.
₊˚⊹♡ This year SRC I am Leo rising, and I met a lot of guys who happens to have crush on me. It's insane, I feel popular ;-;
₊˚⊹♡ Im not a big fan of Moon conjunct Sun in Synastry, but because it either the best or worst relationship ever. I realized every people who have my moon sign as their sun, we never get along, they hate me while we never truly talked. But, people who have my sun sign as their moon actually annoy me lmao? I guess the sun sign feels threaten by the moon sign embodying their energy?
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Hello :D
I have been following you for the last year or so (a few days after I got my Tumblr lmao) and I absolutely love your art!
I have been wanting to study your art style for a while but don't really know where to start,,,
Could you please show me a small portion of your art process, if it isn't too much trouble of course. Thank you and have a nice day!
hello. oh my god. this took forever to find. im sorry it took 2 WHOLE FUCKING MONTHS for me to respond to this but i wanted to put it off until i felt happy with my art process again, so here it is
my fall 2024 rendering tutorial! (this will be very very long)
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FLATS AND WHATEVER YOU WANNA DO WITH LINES GIRL. then make sure to recolor the lineart to better match your base. trust me it helps, bold dark lines are Not your best friend when rendering. wait for that post-rendering
i start off with a doodle or a sketch, and then filling it in with flats and other details such as blush
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FIGURE OUT YOUR LIGHT SOURCE. FIGURE IT OUT GIRL YOU CAN DO IT you can make it as simple as possible, make it as big as possible, dont even THINK about the details.........just make it really fucking big so you at least know where the shadows and the light goes THEN add smaller shading details LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME OKAY!!!!!!!!
my key point with this is for you to learn lighting fundamentals. it's SOOO ANNOYING but alas......they are all correct. it helps a lot.
one thing i also really want to point out is that i like creating a big shadow shape first before fixing up the little details (such as folds and whatever) because it helps me focus on the way the lighting actually works instead of tunnel vision-ing into making the shading make sense on the clothing.
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contact shadows (i dont remember if thats what theyre called okay) theyre fucking ugly because im not actually thinking sorry 💔
okay so basically: contact shadows (if that's what they're called) are the spots in shading and lighting where light will NEVER hit.
shadows are still influenced by the colors and lights around it (it's why a blue shadow and a yellow shadow feel completely different, despite both being shadows) so it's not always COMPLETELY dark. BUT! there are small points in shadows where light never hits, and they're almost always super dark or pitch black.
it's hard to explain shadow and light so briefly for a tutorial, but you'll notice it when watching fundamental studies and when trying it out for yourself
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YES i unclipped the multiply layer YES its ugly and terrifying but it makes coloring the multiply layer easier okay the colors merged w multiply so now it looks cool and has depth overlaying colors that actually make sense
so basically what i did was color the multiply layer that i used to shade the overall drawing
adding a band of red/orange/yellow around where the light hits, and blue where the shadows get big and wide, gives it a fake ambient occlusion effect in the way that a person would get if they stood under the sun with a clear blue sky
the colors don't have to make sense, especially because i never draw backgrounds, but coloring the shadows really help it give a sense of depth and extra subtle detail and effect that just helps make the painting look nicer
around the end, i also put in colors (in an overlay layer with a low opacity brush) that actually make sense in context of the drawing, which is the lit cigarette and the yellow eyelights mostly because none of the colors were making sense and i needed to actually make use of the lighting that DOES exist in the drawing lol
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adding a muddy golden yellow pin light layer (opacity turned down to like 40-50%) to make the light colors less ugly lol
i SWEAR by the fucking pin light layer style. it's so useful and so so underrated.
i used an almost brown-ish gold color on stop of all the layers, and with the pin light layer, it helped make the bright (almost blue-ish) white colors more warm and more yellow. it just helps make things more warm (something i prefer)
i could probably show what it looks like without adjusting the layer opacity to truly show off what i mean (like in the coming section) but i sadly forgot to do that lol
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make a layer on top of your drawing with this color in these ranges YES the drawing is fully merged NO don't be afraid, the base was fucking ugly anyway 💔 make this layer into an exclude/exclusion layer style TRUST turn down your exclusion layer opacity from a range of 10% to 40% literally until you're happy with the contrast and the way the color over the drawing. use your eyeballs. i know you can do it im so proud of you
this is pretty self-explanatory instruction-wise, so i'll go into why i do this instead
i really like art that seems like it has low contrast, with almost mid-gray shading and lines. i don't personally use dark and bold lines and shading, unless i find it necessary for the tone of the piece, so using this method helps lower the contrast of the art and make it look "pleasantly muddy" in the way that it's easier and softer on the eyes.
the inverted blue color also helps makes things warmer! the exclusion layer style is still a bit of a mystery to me but i really like the effect it gives, even if i don't completely get how it works lol
if you want an alternative method to this, and if you have access to it (because i primarily use sai and sai only), i absolutely encourage you to play around and experiment with gradient maps. there are so many out there you can make yourself or even get from others that just give the painting an extra amount of depth and color variation. they're SO fun.
personally, if sai2 gets a gradient map update, it's over for y'all it will literally be so over no one will be able to stop me
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then i merged everything and actually adjusted the contrast back up because it was looking too muddy for me 💔 but the color adjustments are still there so all hope is not lost here's a comparison of the adjusted contrast in black and white (adjusted on the left) (newly merged layer without adjusting the contrast on the right)
as you can see, i actually turned the contrast back up (despite talking all about how i liked things with less contrast lol)
i wanted to demonstrate that doing adjustments should be done in moderation, and is why i adjust layer opacity often when making color effects you are free to play around with colors to help your style, but don't lose your initial idea and colors along the way. you still need to trust your own colors and intuition!
along with that, i just want to say that it's completely okay to change your mind mid-painting, and it's okay to make somewhat drastic changes. don't be afraid to change things you don't like or change your mind about certain aspects way later on that's basically the whole thing of this!!! don't be scared!!!
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now im gonna hold your hand when i say this..........but you need to learn how to render by yourself. it seems like i can teach you but i literally can't, because rendering is different on every piece and depending on how clean your base is. i have to render A LOT because of how fucking ugly my sketches are LMAO to simplify it, think of it as obsessively cleaning up every detail you can see, but with a color picker and a clean, hard edged brush. if you have shit lineart, you don't have to redraw it cleanly over and over, just paint over it. that's basically what rendering is
THIS especially is where you need to be brave and stop being scared. like i said, i can't teach you how to render, and it's something you have to discover yourself because rendering is something that will always be personal to every single piece you make. the way you render on every piece is different. on one piece, you will barely need to render, and on another, rendering is more than half of your ENTIRE process.
don't be afraid to paint over your old art. rendering is a process that's both very perfectionist yet also very careless. find your balance and just go for it.
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and then that's it……..u did it………..now yuo know how to paint and render. it's literally just layering shading and lighting knowledge until you think it makes sense and looks okay lol additional note: since i render in only one layer (you don't HAVE to do this, but it'll be harder for you…), i also made slight adjustments with the transform (and liquify, if you have it) tool to make things more proportionate. (i drew the head too big lol)
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if you compare the finished piece to the final unrendered base, you can see that a LOT changed, including a bit of subtle proportion adjustment. particularly, the sleeves changed A LOT (because i really didn't like them) but it's also over all cleaner and more coherent, instead of having haphazard colors and shading just thrown about.
rendering is when you finally use all 100% of your brain to finalize and figure out where the shading should go, where to clean up your lines, where to ERASE or ADD BACK in lines, and make sure all your colors look coherent.
it's not as intimidating as it seems, i only use a hard edged brush with a little bit of color mixing and my color picker. it's like dragging and dropping colors to cover up mistakes, it's really quite fun when you get used to it i wish i could explain it clearer but it's hard to describe without visuals!
i hope this helped, and i hope all my yapping isn't annoying (art as a special interest beloved)
have fun studying and trying to render in my art style!
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luneariaa · 8 months
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ღ || you are loved.
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✰ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : kento nanami x reader.
✰ 𝐰. 𝐜. : 1k+
✰ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : the memories of the previous events that ever happened in your life disrupts your whole thoughts. being the amazing husband he is, he comforts you during one of your bad days.
✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : reader having a pretty rough childhood, nanami is your husband here, men in family have shown to be giving a bad influence but none too explicit, disturbed mindset, not much proof-read, and basically just family issues. plot going nowhere near the end ig lmao.
✰ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 : as someone who also had a pretty rough childhood and a rather chaotic family, i just decided to write and post it out in order to feel some sort of relief thru this. i'm so sorry to those who can relate; sending lots of love and hugs for y'all!! i'm so proud of you guys for able to make it through this day! 💛🌻
. dividers by @/cafekitsune !! 💫
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To others, your family might be seen as a happy one; having positive, peaceful maintaining relationships. But no one really knows for sure, on what truly happens within that place you called home itself.
What is the purpose of it all, if not to retain a healthy, loving relationship between family members? Each one should’ve practised themselves to strengthen their familial bonds with one another.
But instead, whatever you have wished for– it’s all for nothing.
Growing up in a rather chaotic household does leave your mind dazed at times. You would sometimes even find yourself to be so confused, and believed that most people couldn’t be trusted the way they are. And it’s not by your choice, sadly, you can't help it.
Especially men, in general. You would’ve loved to believe that it’s just some sort of a generational issue, but you don’t even know yourself anymore. 
As a result of all the chaos that’s been happening for all those possible years, you’ve grown to be a quite introverted person– reclused, even, not really fond of the idea of opening up to others. It’s so hard for you to do so, especially when it’s already one of your habits that you’ve been doing for so long.
Initially, you even feared the idea of marriage as well, believing that you won’t ever meet the love of your life at all; along with the thought of you not being good enough to be someone’s wife.
But that changed when Kento Nanami came into your life some years later. Although you’re still struggling with your own habits, whether good or bad ones, Nanami always tries his best to help you with whatever he can.
You don’t even remember how and why did you agreed with having a serious relationship with him. Perhaps, you’ve seen something in him– or even, on what he gave you, provided you something that you’ve been missing from in your life itself. 
Sure, you can be quite closed off at times, even when it’s unintentional, but he always and always will try to guide you with doing the actual, right thing. 
Nanami treats you with pure, utmost respect that comes off as so natural to him; never once yelling or using any harshness at you, especially with his own words. Even when you somehow are being stubborn or so right at that moment, he would always be patient with you, and even give you some space if you needed it. 
He’s so sweet and loving, mature, responsible.. The list just keeps going on and on. Heck, he even remembers every single detail that you may have told him, your favourites, your habits, and so on.
Nanami was never the one to rush into things. He takes his tender time with it, especially when it ever comes to you.
He would always speak directly and bluntly; not intending to sugarcoat his words in a way, yet his words never did hurt your feelings. There’s just something about his honesty that draws you in further. It leaves you confused sometimes– was it even the way he talks to you?
But just by his own presence, whether his way of speaking or his actions itself; something about it heals your inner self. It soothes your soul wonderfully, like a warm sunlight coming out from the clouds after the rain occurred. You feel safe and comfortable around him over time. 
The time being spent between the two of you is never lacking or dull– with both of your personalities, which are quite the opposite from one another, complements and balances out each other so, so well. And this is due to how you both work on your relationship together as well. 
Never once does it feel forced; the deep relationship bond between you both flows ever so gently like the river, and in order for the water to continue flowing without any disturbances, it needs the mere effort from you two.
Despite everything, there’s a part of you that feels so out of place. Perhaps, there’s a side that you believed to be unlovable, and that you’re just not enough. Of course, you wouldn’t even bother to tell him since you didn’t want to potentially burden him with your own problems. 
But it’s Nanami that you’re talking about– and he’s the type to notice every single change in your expression. He can always tell if something is causing your own mind to be restless.
“What are you thinking about, sweetheart?” Nanami’s soft tone broke your temporary state of trance, stepping inside within their shared bedroom and gradually approaching your form. You didn’t even realize that you’ve been standing and staring in front of the mirror for several passing moments now. 
The thoughts of self-doubt and questioning about your whole existence disappears in mere seconds. 
He gently wraps his strong arms around your unmoving form; resting his chin on your shoulder while gazing back straight at your own reflection in the mirror. A small smile appears upon your lips, and didn’t even make any attempt to remove himself from you since it feels so nice at the very moment.
“Nothing.”
His touch alone is enough to soothe your own possibly hurting soul– calming and any trace of hurriedness not in sight, yet your brief answer doesn’t really ease his worries. He knows.
“I know you, darling, I know that’s a lie. You’ve been staring at yourself for the past few minutes.” Nanami didn’t even try to hide his true emotions at this point, keeping his hold around you. He didn’t have to. “Is there anything bothering you? Please tell me, I’m here to listen.”
You’re completely aware that there’s no point in lying to your beloved, so with no choice, you decided to tell him all of your pent-up troubles.
“I just don’t feel special. It’s just one of those days, you know..”
Talking it out is always one of your biggest fears and struggles, and he understands on how hard it is for you to do it every time. Instead of forcing you to speak even further, he slowly turns you around, just to give you a proper embrace. 
One that you really, really needed.
“Sometimes–” your words came out more choked out if anything due to the tears you’ve been holding back. “--I wondered what made you choose me as your wife. I’m nothing more special than just a damaged person who needs to heal and move on. But it’s hard.”
“I’m beyond happy with it, truly I do. It’s just that.. My unwanted thoughts could get in the way at times, and I just feel so troubled with myself in general. I don’t feel I deserve someone like you, and you deserve someone far more better.”
“I’m just so grateful for having you in my life– I truly do. You healed something in me, you really did. I’m just worried that whatever I do will never be enough.”
Nanami falls silent at first, which makes you worried for a while there, afraid that you might overstep with your own words of admittance. His mind is racing for a second there, contemplating each word of truth that he has to tell you.
“Darling, I chose you; I chose you out of everyone else because I wanted to.” He still couldn’t understand as much as how you could see yourself in that way. Nanami is never mad, but deep down, he’s genuinely sad at how you view yourself.
Nanami gently uses one of his hands to lift your chin up, completely making sure that you return the gaze that he’s currently giving you. “I don’t care what anyone says. You are everything that I ever wished for, and your little imperfections are what made you so perfect to me.”
“And I never intend to pick anyone else in a crowd of people– I will always choose you. If anyone ever tells you or me that you’re not special, then they’re wrong. I will prove them otherwise, I promise you.”
His gaze never once faltered from yours, wanting to make sure that you’re listening and focusing on every word he says. Your eyes alone have an effect on him, simply captivating in every sense.
It did have an effect on you– feeling yourself getting on the brink of tears, yet still trying your hardest to not have a mental breakdown in front of your beloved. Not yet.
You keep repeating, and repeating on each word that he says internally. His honest yet sweet statement has left you in a tongue-tied state. You are still not used to it sometimes, even forgetting that this man ahead of you clearly loves you dearly and possibly more than himself.
Your husband took quick notice of this, and simply held your form closer to his. The least he could do is to provide some needed comfort, and how he very much wished that he’s able to get rid of any trace of sadness that existed within you.
“I’ve got you, I’ve got you..”
His voice is so soft, not once hinting any irritation whatsoever as he comforts you. You really cherish him, more than words could ever describe– even wishing that you’re able to repay his efforts.
Nanami will always guide you back, and slowly try to make you drift away from any traces of negativity that you’re facing. Of course, it’s not easy, but he’s willing to try it together with you.
Always so gentle and protective in his own way; it wouldn’t matter on how old you both are getting. The love he has for you shall remain and live on as long as he’s breathing, and he will always shield you from any potential harm from the world itself.
“Even beyond the flaws that you believed to have possessed, you are still worth everything that this world has to offer. Those little flaws are what made you, you.”
He keeps on telling you the words that he always wanted to tell you; one that is filled with complete honesty and love within it. To simply remind you on how much your existence meant to him, and it successfully pushed your emotions further to the edge– unable to contain your tears any longer.
Yet still, he continues on with his own words– all the while placing several feathery kisses onto each part of your face that he could reach. The feeling itself is quite overwhelming, yet comfortingly so, knowing that you are truly being loved by someone special. 
The past that you have endured may stay with you for as long as you live, but Nanami is willing to help; willing to create a better future instead for the both of you. For your mere sake.
“I will always love you; every single inch of you, and even your flaws. I will make sure of it– always reminding you of that.”
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@luneariaa. do not repost; reblogs are alright. all rights reserved.
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jasminerva · 9 days
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What kind of father would Nagumo be?
Saw this magnificent fanart of papa!Gumo and got inspo!
gn!reader co-parent
If you manage to get this man to settle down AND have a kid with you, he (and your kid) is going to make your life a living hell and heaven.
Nagumo would be an unpredictable but fun dad, always coming up with spontaneous activities to keep his kid happy and entertained.
He'd pull small pranks on and with his child, like hiding their favourite toy or sneaking up on them, just to see them laugh when they catch him.
You know peekaboo? Think to the EXTREME! Gumo covering his kid's eyes and VOILA he's a whole 'nother person! (Warning: this may or may not traumatize your child, like, have you seen the videos where babies cry after their dads just shave their beards???) Soon, I'm sure the kid will get used to it and can tell when their dad is disguised better than you can.
Despite his carefree attitude, he'd be fiercely protective, always keeping an eye on his kiddo from the shadows to make sure they're safe.
He'd make teaching self-defence a game, showing his child how to be quick and nimble without making it feel like a strict lesson.
Nagumo would struggle with deep emotional conversations, but he'd always be a good listener when his child wanted to talk, especially if they were feeling down. He'd be on their level (much to your chagrin.)
On that note, you most likely will have to be the 'mean' to his 'fun' parent. Don't even get me started on the 'birds and the bees' talk. He might even volunteer to do it, but I wouldn't count on him to do it properly.
Physical affection would be a big thing for him—playfully ruffling his child's hair, giving them gentle pats on the back, blowing raspberries on their cheeks and bellies, or even picking them up for a hug and swinging them around. Just keep an eye out in case he starts throwing the kid in the air (you can trust him to always catch them, but you don't want either of them getting too carried away).
He'd probably joke around with other parents and show up at school events unpredictably, causing a stir with his antics, but always making his child feel proud and loved.
Nagumo would encourage his child to be independent, letting them figure things out on their own while secretly making sure they're safe every step of the way.
When it comes to advice, he'd drop bits of wisdom disguised as offhand remarks, teaching his child important life lessons in the most unconventional ways.
He wouldn't follow a strict parenting style, instead preferring to give his kiddo the freedom to explore the world, knowing he'd always be there if they needed him.
If his kid ever felt embarrassed or shy about something, Gumo would immediately do the same thing, just to make them laugh and feel better about it.
He would tell white lies / unrealistic jokes to his kid because he believes children and their innocence should be protected (and maybe teased for their naïveté). "Santa is fosho real!" "I went to Area 51 a while back!" "If you eat your carrots, you can see in the dark like me!"
Nagumo would spoil tf out of his kid--whether it's toys or sweets. He'd be responsible for all their potential cavities, but he'd also ensure the kiddo brushes their teeth every time (maybe even using one of those fun songs to count the time, etc). The kid would never think of it as a chore with him around.
When the kid is young-young, like still a toddler/preschool-aged and did things to get them in trouble, Gumo would get scolded along with them (but mostly him, because he should know better and it's probably his own dang influence). When the kid is school-aged, they will get scolded equally (except you can withhold a lot more from Nagumo lmao). I'm going to post a mini scenario of this one within the next few days! Stay tuned!!!
Thank you for brainstorming with me, Memi (@dearsecretlover)! The spoiled rotten with toys and scolding were just 🤌 the best additions!
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kyouka-supremacy · 1 year
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I was asked why I like Beast and why I prefer it over the main universe, so obviously I ended up with a 2k+ words essay on why Beast is great. Now I feel like it diverges too much from what the original ask was actually asking for, so I'm leaving it to its own post. Enjoy.
Why do you like Beast? So, first of all you MUST know that this is a question that could keep me talking for days to no end. I'm not kidding. Here there will be some disorganized rambles but trust me, if I had time to actually do so I'd keep going on forever.
Alternative universes are cool I love Beast. I think it starts off at a point when the bsd author was more experienced from having already worked with the main series for many years, and ultimately ended up making an alternative version of the work that is more mature and refined, while still maintaining bsd's core themes (and conservative worldviews at that lmao). Starting off, the “what if” concept is endlessly fascinating, pretty much the entire fandom culture is based on it. It IS unfailingly cool to see what could have happened if Akutagawa sided with the ada and Atsushi with the pm, it is extremely interesting to see what changes out of their personalities and on the other hand what stays the same, what is intrinsically them. About sskk, I find it really compelling how Beast tackles intimate aspects of their lives, pasts and traumas. The café scene is genuinely brilliant in the way it shows, completely unexpectedly and to the reader's full disbelief, them getting along in normal circumstances. Who could have predicted that! Of all things, Akutagawa and Atsushi getting along. But it happened, and nothing before had ever shown to that extent how similar they are, how much on the same page they are, how much they're meant to be– like yeah obviously I mean romantically, but even if you're not particularly into that, it displayed just how deeply connected they are. I'm forever grateful for that scene.
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Beast Akutagawa is great But I think… More in general, I just really like Beast Akutagawa and Beast Atsushi, even better than their canon counterparts 😅 Again I do think at the point when they wrote Beast the author had already gathered a lot of experience from serializing bsd for at least five years, and ended up making characters that are more solid and compelling (although please don't get me wrong, I LOVE canon sskk and I believe canon Akutagawa's character arc in particular is amazing. It's just that at least to me Beast sskk is everything I could ever ask for.). I love Beast Akutagawa! It was so so capturing to see him grow outside of the pm. And especially it was infinitely interesting to see Akutagawa grow outside of Dazai. And don't get me wrong, I love the influence Dazai has on canon Akutagawa, I wouldn't have it any other way: it made Akutagawa who he is, and I love reading about his character. But I also found it wonderful and pleasantly refreshing to see how he would be if he had never undergone Dazai's training; I like this Akutagawa who's possibly even more immature and impulsive, wild and untamed than his canon counterpart. Beast is also the universe where Akutagawa gets his chance at being a good person - which is something he desperately strived for but never got to have in the main universe -, and in the end I am a little attached to Akutagawa, so I'm happy for him! His relationship with Oda and the whole ada are wonderful, I like getting to experience a universe where Akutagawa is loved and supported, unapologetically, for who he is.
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Beast Atsushi is great Beast Atsushi is AMAZING. Like. Character molded appositely to my liking ahah. He's so cool! He's so tormented! He's sweet and cruel and utterly unstable! I love him so much. He truly is Atsushi at his full potential. I love this Atsushi who's biggest fear isn't the world, but rather himself. He's beautiful and horrible and deathly and kind. He killed his abuser to stop him from haunting his nightmares, but ended up turning those nightmares into his life. He takes his coffee with three sugars. He loves his little sister and would risk the safety of his organization and the boss he's endlessly loyal to for her. The only person who ever understood him is his most loathed enemy. He's one with death and indistinguishable from darkness. His laughter stops rain. He lives in perpetual physical pain due to a choker constantly piercing around his neck and yet even that is nothing compared to the damage of his psyche. He's so, so fucked up. He deserves the world. I LOVE HIM.
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Beast Dazai is great Also, I really like Beast Dazai!!! He's always Dazai, but I think his character works out a lot better in Beast for the role he covers. In canon Dazai is this omniscient, all knowing figure, but he's also a protagonist, and him being so perfectly flawless doesn't go well in the long run. You've seen it in the last season 5 episode, it just gets boring after a while– it would be nice to see him face actual challenges and high stakes for once, but he's so overpowered, that never happens. In Beast, it's pretty much the same deal (author really loves Dazai lmao), but the fact that he isn't the protagonist and instead the main villain? I feel like from a storytelling standpoint, it works so much better!! I mean, his being omniscient works a lot better– he's not the one who the reader expects facing challenges and high stakes, the protagonist is. In addition, in Beast Dazai has almost universal knowledge due to his link to the Book, so that makes his being omniscient and even god-like a lot more feasible and easy to contemplate! I think that plot-wise it just works a lot better, there's an actual reason he's so overpowered, and that reason is explained, it's in the text. Oh and I LOVE his utter devotion to Oda. I know it's the same in canon, but still… There in Beast you can see it concretely, you can see it everywhere. That very universe exists how it is because of Dazai's love for Oda, because there's nothing he wouldn't do for him, because in the whole universe, in the whole multiverse, Oda's happiness is the only thing that matters to him. I think such strong feelings of love being put so explicitly is something simply wonderful to read, and makes Dazai infinitely more sympathetic than what he may be in canon. “But I do have one regret, Odasaku— I won't be able to read the novel you'll complete one day.” LIKE YEAH, SURE, ALRIGHT, JUST SHOOT ME TO THE HEAD ALREADY. That line alone is worth the whole novel, honestly. Oh and the thing about Oda harshly repudiating Dazai, the man who literally did everything for him, who dedicated his whole life for him… Man!!! That REALLY made me sympathize with Dazai in a way canon will never be able to. All those factors only contribute making Dazai's suicide in the end all the more emotional– which I believe works really well in the story, he is an enemy and he is a god and he had to die, but still makes for an extremely emotionally charged scene and a wonderful story climax. Imo Beast Dazai had to die so that canon Dazai could live (and, hopefully, find a reason to live!), and it's as bitter as it is beautiful.
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The Beast ada dynamics are great And I love the ada in Beast!!! They feel infinitely more of a family than they do in canon. Kenji, Kunikida, Tanizaki, they all seem to love Akutagawa in a way that's hard to be found towards Atsushi in canon? The way they didn't falter to rescue Akutagawa even as he went, against all their advices and pleas, to a suicidal rampage was wonderful and heartwarming. They make it sound unbelievable that when Atsushi was (mind you, unwillingly) kidnapped their first response would be that it was an hassle and that he should have dealt with it on his own (this time I truly believe it was the author learning from their own mistakes, because seriously, who does that. It makes everyone instantly feel a thousand times less sympathetic). As people have said, the ada alone makes Beast feel like the “right” universe on the basis that in it they actually care about their members. All things considered, the ada treats Akutagawa as this kind of rabid murderous gremlin they just adopted who's going to bite everyone but that they still love no matter what, and it's super cute. Beast ada really is the bsd found family if there ever was one.
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A cool plot The Beast storyline is just very compelling in general? The introduction chapter is amazing, I mean, The Heartless Cur is amazing. Again, Beast Akutagawa is such a great character, and the description of his struggle to find his own humanity, although in my opinion does fall weak in some points and has flaws, still treats a concept that's very interesting to ponder over nonetheless. I like how there's a series of more light-hearted chapters in the first half, it helps solidify the characters, and those chapters are really nice to read; not to mention having lighter chapters alternated with the strikingly more gloomy and violent pm Atsushi scenes makes the latter feel all the more frightening and disturbing, it's a great narrative choice. And the big crescendo of Akutagawa storming in the pm headquarters! His fight of physics and morals against Atsushi! Them telling each other they're nothing like the other when the reader knows the exact opposite is true! It's all very good, and again, Dazai's suicide makes for a perfect climax to the story.
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Sometimes being a seinen can be good I like how Beast is a seinen way more than the main story is? Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with shounen manga - which bsd seems to lean towards more often than not, with only occasionally tackling more adult concepts -, but at this specific time in my life those darker themes are just something I find more entertaining to read about. I feel like the gritty and often gruesome depictions, although maybe a little overused in the manga, really help emphasize the dark atmosphere of the manga and overall effectively convey the whole “beast” imaginary as wild / violent / unpleasant / animalistic.
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It's got sskk in it And in general it's just… Compared to canon, Beast is very very sskk centered. It's significantly shorter than the canon manga, and in a way that helped focus on sskk specifically, because it only had space to narrate one story, which is sskk's. And I don't know what to tell you, I'm here for the sskk. Of course I like Beast best.
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Beast Atsushi is great (cont.) Back to Beast Atsushi because he's everything, really. I love how when I went into Beast I was like “I mean, whatever Dazai is making of Atsushi under the pm, if can't possibly be any worse than the constant abuse Akutagawa had to experience 😊” AND I WAS PROVED WRONG. I mean, I think the fact alone that the author could come up with something worse is remarkable. Dazai's emotional manipulation and psychological torment is, I believe, the darkest facet of Dazai we ever witnessed, and it's extremely well executed. Beast Atsushi is so so unstable, so on the brim of mental breakdown and psychosis at every second. Him being made unable to let go of the past makes him live in a perpetual nightmare. And I feel like the way his character story is unwrapped is truly masterful, storytelling wise!!!! On the reader's first encounter with him, it's evident how deeply scarred and disturbed he is, but the reader can't tell why. That adds to the mystery and feeling of unsettling surrounding the character: his story is wrapped up by darkness and it's impossible to predict, just like he is– and it's deliciously unsettling, scary, to be unable to tell anything about what made him like he is except from guessing that it must have been something really bad. And yet even then /nothing/ could have prepared the reader to what his backstory really is? And when the traumatic event is finally unveiled, it's worse then any guess the reader could have made. Atsushi's back to the orphanage flashback passage is terrifying! He didn't undergo any harm, like it would have been easy to guess; on the contrary, his torment stems from having killed his abuser. But he did so at a point when he didn't represent a threat for him anymore, when he was proud of him, when he got close to resemble a father to his eyes; and all of this he realized too late; and now he lives in constant regret, constant terror of himself. It's great, really! And even then, Atsushi carries on with being. super cool lmao. Like yeah he's unstable and everything, he's wild and violent, but he's also still very kind. He's timid and blushes easily. He also feels a lot more mature than he does in canon, and it's nice to see. He's more confident and serious, and that's nice too. He REALLY is my favorite character.
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Some pretty cool scenes are in it Moving on, Beast has some truly amazing scenes. The Heartless Cur is amazing and builds up such an awesome character, Atsushi's introduction is petrifying, the Kenji / Akutagawa conversation is as deeply moving as it is cathartic. I won't be talking about the sskk café scene. Akutagawa's whole assault to the pm headquarters is rich of emotional scenes. I already talked about Atsushi's flashback and Dazai's suicide being wonderful passages both from technical and emotional standpoints. And the manga ending is just so good!!!!!!! Like it truly is the perfect ending– the way it ties up with the main story! How it feels like ada Akutagawa's story has just begun, a conclusion but also hope for what's to come. The “out behind our company's building there are some people of low character hanging about”– I can't stress enough how emotional this line, a final and definite tie to the main story, makes me, how meaningful it is in its quality of being both an ending, and a beginning. The last page showing Akutagawa at the center of the ada, it just moves me so deeply to see him being the protagonist, surrounded by a crowd of people who love and support him, getting his own chance at a life in the light 😭😭😭 “I'm going to live as an agency member. I'll solve cases, rescue the weak, and prove that I'm not evil.” Crying my eyes out 😭😭😭😭😭😭 And don't get me started on when Akutagawa and Atsushi's voices mix up to speak as one; I could never hope to be able to express what that makes me feel.
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Siblings dynamics are my jam I also love Beast because one of the main aspects that drives the plot is Ryuunosuke and Gin's relationship, and I /love/ siblings relationships, and I //love// Ryuunosuke and Gin's relationship. I don't think Gin's character was written well at all (because the author literally can't write female characters for the life of theirs), but eh, at least it reinforced the concept that Ryuunosuke loves Gin terribly and would be able to do anything for her. Atsushi and Kyouka's relationship, too, is to die for.
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The designs and manga art style slay Besides, the character designs are beautiful???? Akutagawa's Beast outfit is my second favorite out of the whole franchise, it's just such a look™. I love in general how rabid and messy Akutagawa looks in Beast, he feels so much more free? And like, good for him. In my head Beast Atsushi is the most handsome man in the entire franchise and I don't think I can take criticism on this. I find cutting off his longer bang such a witty way to represent not only how this Atsushi is different from the one we know (after all, that's the most remarkable and eye-catching feature of his appearance!), but also to symbolize how the cut with his past at the orphanage was harsh and violent. Characters designs aside, Hoshikawa's art style is GORGEUS. It's hard and rough and messy, it's dark and unpolished and violent and beautiful and exactly everything Beast is. It's PERFECT for the story, it's like it was made to portray it.
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Sskk is always great And that's just talking about the canon content but like. Beast means a Beast sskk. Which is basically new and improved sskk. And I like sskk. And I like every version of sskk but especially this version where they're even more violent and fucked up and madly in love with each other and evidently meant to be. So yeah.
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And this is like, just the very tip of the iceberg of what I love about Beast. Humbling offering you this Beast love letter in hope we can all give this novel the appreciation it deserves (๑˃‌ᴗ˂‌)۶
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kickedin17 · 4 months
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I'm seeing people point out that the Craving (at least the single version) is about SAI being perceived by a lot of people as a flop album & I think that's probably correct but I also think it probably applies to Lavish, because I truly cannot imagine why else they decided to include it on the album? Like don't get me wrong I love Lavish but narratively it reads as the most 'expendable" song on the tracklist. Yet Tyler allegedly wanted to leave off Navigating (which they gave the lore video to, lmao) and kept Lavish. Which is fair because it's a banger and a nice break from everything else, but it's also just telling to me that they very intentionally did a song about industry bullshit on this album, the most direct they've gotten since Lane Boy.
Like either their label or someone in the industry did something to piss them off that we don't know about, or it's a generalized frustration. I have to imagine it would hurt to be Grammy noms/winners two albums in a row and then be paid dust the minute you do something a little different. Or (purely speculating here) to experience label pressure to have another album cycle like blurryface, when that's virtually impossible to replicate unless you're, like, taylor swift specifically, and when it inevitably doesn't happen they start pulling back on financing/promoting you/helping you get nominations the same way they used to. They're fucking you behind your back and you can't really do much about it because they're the ones with the money and the influence, and you're supposed to trust them to take care of/care about your work. Like tøp has never been a band that values itself on award or critical recognition, it's always been for us, but creatively speaking the whiplash of going right from your most commercially successful album, to your most critically acclaimed album, then to your most criticized - and to a degree you now just assume your time as a critical/commercial darling has passed, which Tyler seems to - would have to hurt. It would have to.
Honestly tho he probably just knew he cooked with the proctologist line and needed everyone else to know too
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throwing away some thoughts here. it has already been said, but i'd like to recap some things for myself, i have to get all of it out of my system, lmao
EVEN if i set aside my desire for DM to happen a first time in the 1970s/80s (and come back in the 2020s), and examine the situation with some kind of honesty, there ARE leads and clues. or rather, unexplained elements that aren't actually troublesome if unexploited, but that would get depth if they were refered to in a later season.
specifically talking about three things:
the infamous Alice recalling and "she didn't trust you," etc, passage:
we can explain, i suppose, Armand's comment by saying he pulled this info out of Daniel's brain — which would mean it's not an info but one of Daniel's interpretation, by the way. taken from a DM perspective: either it's fuel for the A=A theory, or it implies that Armand was around when it happened.
Daniel foggy memories during the 1970s:
again, it could be explained by Daniel's drug use at the time, as he himself assumes. now, that would be irresponsable of us to not, as least, question it, considering Armand's ability to lock away someone's memories; worse, not only his ability, but the fact that he did this not only to Daniel — a human — but also to Louis, his husband. (to be perfectly sincere, i was (before season 2), and still am, a strong believer of what's sometimes nicknamed here the "eternal-sunshine theory"; it influences my outlook on this, it's so cool)
Armand turning Daniel despite his virulent unwilingness to ever make a fledgling — and we know nothing about how it happened:
still shocked about that, if i'm honest! i find it difficult to believe Armand would turn Daniel out of spite. when Louis read his notes on the script, he didn't seem angry at Daniel but panicking about Louis leaving him: it was a very Loumand moment (the last of the season!); i didn't doubt Armand would not kill Daniel, precisely because Louis told him not to. one might think he would curse Daniel then, a gift worse than death, out of spite and to punish both Daniel and Louis. but Armand repeating over and over how he never made any fledgling and how he never could, never would... a context, a story between them might be a great explanation for a later season. the mystery is still complete; maybe they — Armand and Daniel — had a very long conversation, or they actually had not and because of some element in Armand's past, he actually snapped; or they fought, Armand hurt Daniel, and to save him, Armand turned him... it definitely is the strangest plot point about them and no doubt we'll get answers in a later season; besides, i think several things may be true at same the time — Armand hurting Daniel and DM in the past, etc, etc.
and not to mention some elements like "you're going to teach me how to be fascinating" (2x05), what seems to be Daniel's desire or subdued lust (especially in season 1 with the godsent "what does he taste like?" / sucking on the diner table scene), their dynamics or some of Armand's looks that can only be suspicious... all of this is not enough, in my opinion, to be sure that DM happened in the 1970s in the series canon; but the 3 points developed here sure would make more sense in a past-DM context (methinks)
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pisupsala · 6 months
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✨Mila's (Early) Endless Summer Reading List ✨
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I'm packing my bags, so I thought I should pack my favorite stories: stuff that's been on my to-read list for too long, stuff I just enjoy re-reading and want you to know about, something to get me through the long-haul flight, something for sipping cocktails on the beach. I'm going to be updating the list with your recommendations and more stuff that I find. So:
Recommendations? 💕 YES PLEASE!
Recommend your own work? FUCK YES! ✨ minors dni, respect the author's tags, and show them some love by commenting and reblogging.
✨ TGM
mostly Bradley Bradshaw tbh lmao * This Love Came Back To Me by @beyondthesefourwalls i love these kinds of plots and it's so sweet *Remember You Even When I Don't by @beyondthesefourwalls i bizarrely never actually finished this and i will have to rectify this pronto *The Younger Kind by @roosterforme im like 20 chapters behind, soooo excited to binge this
*Leave a Light On by @sometimesanalice comfort story right here
*Hey Sailor by @sometimesanalice no notes, just yum
*Less Talk by @tongue-like-a-razor a jake story??? yes and i love this one *Faking It by @tongue-like-a-razor a classic, a must-read
*Little Wallflower by @bradshawsbitch it warms my poor heart and i feel this story on a personal level since I've been dealing with hearing loss
*Mise en Place by @bradshawsbitch hands down on my favorite AUs
*(christmas) baby please come home by @gretagerwigsmuse this fic influenced me so hard i bought a theragun *and even when we’re wrong in every way, we come out the other side okay by @gretagerwigsmuse actually just anything Jordan has ever done with the Smart Alec universe, you should read it
*Concerned Neighbor by @mothdruid this is just hot and you should enjoy it
*The Boyfriend Experience by @notroosterbradshaw i swear this is the fic that got me writing again, so if you like anything I've ever done you should go show Cass some love. *Don't Hang 'Em Till Noon by @sailor-aviator Jake western!AU? I knew I was rewatching Deadwood for a reason. Excited!! recommended by @goldenseresinretriever *Fool's Fare by @sailor-aviator A Jake pirate!AU while I'm on a beach in the Caribbean? Sign. me. up. Also recommended by @goldenseresinretriever *You Catch More Bees With Honey by @goldenseresinretriever I've seen this on my dash so much, but I shamefully never got around to it. How did you know I like hockey?
Masters of the Air
Trust by @blurredcolour yeaaaaah, im obsessed. im deceased. this is so good.
prettier than a peach by @honeyskywitch reading this on my flight, so excited!
Oblivious by @sagesolsticewrites saving this one for the airport~
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shizunitis · 3 months
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old man yells at cloud: shen qingqiu and the fandom
cw: discussions of homophobia, abuse & ableism
this was not supposed to get this long, or this disorganised. there’s also a lot of profanity because i am who i am. i half-apologise. annoyed/-ing yapping continues under the cut. i’ll reward u at the end with something i promise
look. listen. hear me out
i agree that shen “yuan” qingqiu is oblivious and it’s funny to see him panic and scramble for a foothold in the insane world of pidw, but some of you honestly sound like you think he should be drawn and quartered for having trauma.
y’all safely out of the closet, loved, accepted and supported since the womb? is that it? you’ve never hurt someone by believing lies purposely fed to you by “the system”? lies that, when questioned, get you punished or shunned? you’ve never been guilty? you’ve never been scared? you’ve never had to hide a part of yourself to be accepted? you’ve never been frustrated by your loved ones’ insistence that “they know better”?
“mxtx wrote a novel where the internet troll gets his comeuppance for bullying the poor author” cannot coexist with “abuse/pain/unjust punishment cannot give birth to a healthy society”. either you want shen yuan broken and made into something else more palatable to you, or you want him to be free to dote on and protect binghe and heal. it is clear what the story chose to do.
there’s a whole ass novel out here that’s basically screaming “be compassionate! be kind! be vulnerable! accept others as they come! solipsism is a bullshit thought experiment and not some grand theory about the nature of the universe!” and yet you’ve somehow, as if hungry for blood, focused solely on the shortcomings of a lost, inexperienced young man trying to make the best of his situation while being coerced by an omniscient, omnipotent, asshole of a god.
there is no clearer allegory in modern media about the destructive influence of coercion, brainwashing, and thought policing, than the one presented in svsss. and yet! here i fucking am, coffee-less, reading with my own two eyes corpsezun-cold ass takes on the “proper” ways of navigating self-discovery.
i hate having to be the one to tell someone to touch grass, so i’ll just urge you to read something else, something literal and educational about the struggles of queer/disabled/vulnerable people in unkind societies (all of them) and outright hostile ones (most of them). watch documentaries, seek out the elders of your communities, think back on your own unpleasant experiences, speak with people you don’t agree with and approach conversations with curiosity. lurk in fandoms before you post.
this is something you’ve internalised: that a queer person must be pure of mind and spirit to expect compassion. that a vulnerable person you deem weak must not be listened to since clearly, someone else knows better. that someone who makes a mistake/misunderstands something should be shunned, or at the very least berated in spite of having already faced the consequences of their actions.
y’all don’t have to love everyone to be kind to them and understand them. and honestly trying to “punish” a repressed queer man for how he’s choosing to survive in a hostile environment by spouting borderline-cruel bullshit about his thoughts that never leave his brain just tells me that you have done close to no self-assessment and are liable to hurt people by accidentally saying some horrendous shit you don’t even realise is painful to hear.
as you have done, and keep doing, especially when seriously and without a moment of reflection you post non-jokey “haha shen yuan is stupid and oblivious of course that happened. every friend he has trying to assert control over his choices is a just and reparative consequence of his stupid pea-brained attempt to survive. the system was good actually.”
i fucking love making ‘liu qingge was a victim’/‘lmao bingy is horny gripping shizun connect the dots’/‘shizun cannot be trusted outside for more than half an hour’/‘lmao ballad of bingqiu’ jokes because yeah! that happens! you get people who crush on you! people sometimes get infatuated with you! sometimes people get very invested in your life! sometimes people worry and care even if you don’t realise it!and it is somewhat comical in hindsight, a bit endearing, a lot bewildering, but ultimately mundane and entirely human!
until it actually starts affecting you in real ways. until people try to corral your movements because they “can’t trust you to be safe” without listening to you, a grown ass adult who clearly knows something they don’t. until your own mistakes come to bite you in the ass and, when you’ve fucking fixed it, you get berated and judged for it because others’ self-righteousness takes precedence.
good people learn and change and take responsibility for hurting those around them. they allow those who have erred to find a better path forward. they act with compassion and respect for even the most undesirable of their peers.
there are many messages in svsss that you can learn from. while it falls short in some aspects (naturally, by virtue of being written by a high-schooler), it does not fail in presenting a human perspective on fucked-up circumstances and asking you to understand and empathise.
characters are there to hold up a mirror for you. it’s a safe, consequence-free opportunity to look inwards and decide if you’re okay, or if some things might need addressing.
fandom is a playpen and you get to do whatever you want forever to the dolls. but your playmates are real people who, in some cases, are susceptible to your influence, and will be hurt by how you choose to present your commentary. when they leave the sandbox and see the distorted reflection of your arguments come alive in the real world, they will then internalise it, just as you have.
and then i’ll have to read it and it’s, frankly, depressing to see what my Not Homophobic, Very Woke (lie) high-school classmates would say all over again. is that what you want? to be likened to a 15 year-old eastern european boy? really?
obviously i’m not talking about jokes, bits, comedies, haha hehe’s, or fanfic depictions that i may not agree with from a storytelling standpoint.
i’m not the mayor of who-gets-to-talk-ville, but i’ve lived all my life in a deeply homophobic, racist, ableist and economically fucked country of former soviet influence and it just, like, annoys me to see the same sentiments in these kinds of spaces coming from inexperienced/young people who just don’t realise the impact of their own ignorance. i hope i’ve made this clear even if i sound like a finger-wagging dirty-mouthed grandpa yelling at the kids on my lawn.
fuck i’m so tired
anyway. here’s the reward:
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ah… that makes me feel so much better. <3
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teafourbirds · 5 months
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Please take a moment to admire Tiny Baby Roy Harper who is Trying So Hard to organize his notes and finish his book report while Ollie cheerfully smokes a pipe and distracts him with random facts.
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It is my firm headcanon that Ollie goes on to derail the writing of the book report by reading Connecticut Yankee out loud, substituting himself and Roy for Hank Morgan, and that the whole of the following comic (later described as "maybe a dream????") is actually his retelling (Chitty-chitty Bang Bang-esque, for anyone old enough to have grown up on that movie). Because really, what else is Ollie's dream (especially this clean-shaven young Ollie) but to be an old-fashioned hero saving villagers from wild boars and emptying slaves from the dungeons of evil queens?
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Adventure Comics #268
There will just never be enough early Ollie-tiny Roy content on this earth to suit me, and one of my favorite games to play is building out their golden/silver age stuff in my head to fit with the later comics. I still haven't read very much past the early 2000s (and almost nothing post-Flashpoint) but one of the major exceptions is the 2022 "Earn It Back" story, which is the loveliest Roy-Ollie relationship, where Ollie is Trying So Hard to be a good parent for Roy but also is clearly uncertain about what a good parent looks like, vacillating between being overly permissive and overly strict.
(Ollie's lack of parental figures growing up is another of those astonishingly under-explored stories, IMO. The few interactions we see involve him begging to be allowed to travel with his parents, and his father telling him to "toughen up" when he doesn't want to go hunting. This followed almost immediately by his parents getting mauled by lions in front of him, and then getting shipped off to boarding school by an unnamed uncle. Of course Ollie doesn't know what he's doing. Bruce, the famous orphan, had Alfred from the beginning - who did Ollie have? What does he know about being a parent? I think he goes in with a lot of love and no game plan, except maybe for his firm conviction that Roy is strong and capable and resilient. That he'll be okay no matter what Ollie does. That he probably doesn't really need Ollie at all except as a partner in crime.)
So I'm eternally fascinated by going through the old World's Finest/Adventure Comics (which is nearly all we have of young Roy-Ollie) and imagining how those dynamics fit together. Little Roy, who collects stamps and stands up to bullies and is the secretary of the school's Green Arrow Fan Club (lmao) and is saving up to buy a sailboat and tries SO HARD to prove himself. Ollie, who trusts Roy to pull himself up but still follows him to make sure he's safe when he’s been gone to long, who whisks Roy away from school and homework to save the world, who doesn't realize the extent of his influence over Roy, who trusts that Roy has everything under control because of course he does, because Roy is just that great.
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Adventure Comics 262 // Green Lantern (1960) #85
Anyway, all that is to say, enjoy a bit of Ollie trying to be helpful by distracting Roy from his homework with stories of heroism and bravery. They are everything to me.
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Adventure Comics 264
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vigilskeep · 2 years
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oh, anders sounds pretty angry when saying the irving line. it's one of those few that sounds esp kind of sincerely hurt, i suppose, you know, the same way he gets riled up in some of his dialogue where he drops the jokey demeanor fpr a moment. which is interesting in general considering how irving described to treat him in thedas info book, like asking the templars to go easier on the boy but then regretting going soft him. and all anders has to say in return is that he hated him, and means it
i think it makes sense to me that anders would genuinely hate irving and it also makes me want to eat drywall so here’s some thoughts on that
being a first enchanter is probably the most privileged position in a circle and it’s also the worst job you could ever have. you’re leader and advocate of the mages. to the templars, you’re the voice of opposition and discord. to the mages, you’re the guy who works closest to the templars, deciding to make compromises, agreeing to make certain mages tranquil, overseeing harrowings, and placating the rebellious. and if you don’t balance this, all those people under your care are going to die
in many ways, irving and greagoir are the intended ideal of a first enchanter and knight-commander. world of thedas vol2 says: “it is a surprise to many that irving often credits knight-commander greagoir for his success as first enchanter. [...] though their friendship was never entirely without conflict, mutual respect and understanding resulted in a working partnership rarely seen in the circle leadership.” (i consider the first part a veiled joke at greagoir’s expense but that’s my very specific irving characterisation lmao.) in the mage origin, irving and greagoir are constantly arguing, but the very fact that irving can do that on the regular while visibly appearing on a fairly even footing is a mark of the respect he holds. it’s a rlly different energy to, say, meredith and orsino’s arguments. likewise, greagoir’s trust in irving during broken circle is phenomenal: he straight up will not annul his demon-infested circle if his first enchanter says it’s alright.
so the trust irving holds with the templars saves the circle. it also makes kinloch hold one of the most lenient circles in southern thedas—yes, it’s still a circle, it’s horrible, but the freedoms that some of the senior enchanters have are insane. you do not win that kind of trust from the templars without concessions. you do not win it, for example, without being the kind of first enchanter who does things like lure apprentices into blood magic and then hand over anyone willing to try it to the templars. it doesn’t surprise me that every part of irving’s behaviour reads as treachery to anders, the guy who said, “i will not stand by and watch while you treat all mages as criminals while those who would lead us bow to their templar jailers!” (emphasis mine, directed at orsino during the last straw.) it’s not in anders’ nature to be particularly charitable to those who collaborate with the circle. the trust irving holds with greagoir puts them visibly on the same team
irving cared about anders. he “took pity on the tearful boy”, he was “endeared” by his friendliness and charm, he “looked upon anders with sympathy”. he told the templars to be kinder to him, and he even made efforts to arrange time outdoors for him and the other apprentices. he worries about anders after karl is taken to the gallows, telling him that even a first enchanter might no longer be able to protect him if he tries anything, implying he has been protecting him all this time, and overall it’s heavily heavily implied that if it hadn’t been for irving’s influence anders would be tranquil or dead. so where’s “i hated that bastard” coming from? because from anders’ perspective, i think even all this still reads like cowardice and treachery. when you’re twelve years old and crying and missing home and you get dragged to someone’s office after your escape attempt, it looks like they have all the power, and all irving ever did with it was cave to the templars to get his meagre little liberties and tell everyone there was no other way. i also don’t doubt that anders deeply resents the idea that he should have to be grateful to anyone for the above. grateful for the privilege of his life? for being allowed not to have his very emotions stolen from him? for a supervised day under the sun if he’s well-behaved? perhaps next he can write them all thank you letters for his hands, since they didn’t cut them off. maybe after that he can pay the rent he owes for the cell he was in solitary confinement in
to anders, i think even everything good irving managed to do for the mages under his care, they’re all placating measures, designed to keep them just comfortable enough in their cages not to break the bars. that’s not necessarily a kindness to the mages, not in the eyes of the guy who came to the conclusion that there can be no compromise, there can be no peace. i don’t think those thoughts are as ummm coherent during awakening—you’re getting them in the simplistic rebellious form of “i hated that bastard” for a reason, it reads like a leftover from a teenage grudge against a teacher (which it also is!), and oversll i think it’s more personal and complicated than all this political reading because irving was so much a part of his life—but they’re there. as a last point on real hatred from anders, i think it’s worth saying that irving was probably aware of and somewhat complicit in things like karl being transferred and anders’ solitary confinement, not to mention presiding over their harrowings and being involved in the making tranquil of surely many people that anders knew. like those are compromises irving made and was probably present for, regardless of whether you think he had any real choices
this is so long but i love thinking abt both characters so much. i’ll leave it there. as usual just thinking out loud, open to discussion etc
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kaladinstormblessed09 · 2 months
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Okay, now that I’m more composed I wanna give my actual thoughts on Oathbringer. This is my favourite stormlight book so far, and I’m 700 pages into RoW so please no spoilers for that. Spoilers for Oathbringer down below obviously
Oathbringer focuses a lot more on Dalinar, but I'll get back to him. Bridge 4 gets their own pov chapters. Teft struggling with his addiction, Rock with his family, Skar not being able to take in stormlight, Rlain being alone amongst people who mean well but can never truly understand what he’s going through. I love this crew so much! The side characters shine in this book. Elhokar! I ended up liking him so much in it just for him to be brutally murdered right in front of his son. Moash even kicked the child. I was sobbing, I was so upset. He had so much potential. He was becoming a better king, a knight's Radiant. All for it to be just gone. And kaladin took that failure so personally. My baby. You can't always save everyone, but this is something Kal always struggle with. Moash even had the audacity to salute Kaladin, after murdering Elhokar!
Shallan just gets better and better in every book. I love how much she's improved in lightweaving. She was making her own little movie in Urithiru. I freaking love Veil. She's going around stabbing herself and getting arrows stuck in her head saying it's just a flesh wound. And everyone is rightfully baffled at her. I love her. I really loved her scenes with Wit/Hoid. It seems to me wit has a soft spot for Shallan. I love that Shallan and Adolin are married now! I love love love Adolin. Kaladin is right. You can't not like Adolin. He's got such sunshine golden retriever energy. Also, I love that Kaladin gave Shallan boots as a wedding present. LMAO.
Jasnah is the real mvp! Her just breezing through the final battle soulcasting her enemies was so fucking cool! She’s obviously the one who has the most control over their powers. When she decides not to kill Renarin oh man I cried! In fact I cried through the entire last 150 pages!
When szeth swoops down to save Lift and uses Nightblood to kill that thunderclast? When Lift tries to save szeth from Nightblood?! So many epic fucking scenes!
Dalinar really gets his avenger endgame moment with all the radiants! So so so cool!
And now speaking of Dalinar. So, Dalinar. How do I talk about him. He's probably the best written character I've ever read. He's your classic reformed character. His flashbacks when he was in his prime, being the blackthorn was difficult to read. But it shows you why the other country leaders are scared of him. And it's a legitimate worry. Now that the whole world is at the brink of an apocalypse, and he can save people no one trusts him because of his reputation because he used to be a war monger and a tyrant. and he knows that he can just do it again. He can be the balckthorn again and unite the world forcefully so they'll listen to him. It'll be so easy for him. But he doesn't want to do that. He's not that war monger anymore. And no one believes him. It's such good story telling. But after I read what he did to the rift, and to Evi, I didn't know how to root for him anymore. How do you root for a character who has burned a whole city down killing thousands of innocent people, including his wife. how do you root for someone who killed his own wife?? That's why it was so cathartic when we got to that moment between Dalinar and Odium. Odium telling Dalinar to just give in. Give him all his pain, and that he's the one who influenced him into doing bad things. telling him not to take responsibility. I thought Dalinar was gonna give in. He was gonna become Odium's champion and Kaladin would have to fight him. but for once Kal doesn't save the day. Dalinar doesn't give in. This is the best scene in this book, which is hard to choose cause this book is filled with epic scenes. "The most important step a man can take is not the first one. it's the next one. always the next step. You cannot have my pain. If I pretend I didn't do these things it means I can't have grown to become someone else. I'll take responsibility for what I have done. If I must fall I will rise each time a better man." It's about him taking accountability, acknowledging the wrongs of his past. it's about trying to be a better man. It's about forgiveness and doing better. People complain about the lengths of these books but we needed these pages to get that character development to get to this moment where Dalinar defies Odium. I love this book. this 1200 page behemoth and even than I wanted more. I’ve gone back to this sequence multiple times in the last few days. Even as I read RoW now I go back to reading that sequence. And I cry every single time.
In conclusion, Oathbringer was amazing. I can’t wait to finish RoW. Then I’ll only have the secret projects and TLM left until I’m fully caught up with Cosmere! I can’t wait!
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maibluemen · 2 months
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Lietpru: 1, 7
ship asks!
1.) What do they see in each other that they see in no one else?
for better or for worse they've known each other for so long that they sort of can't help knowing each other well, even when they're at peak Mortal Enemies imo. they remember each other as children, though both their memories are warped for various reasons (and i mean even aside from trauma, etc, 1000 years give or take is a long time...obviously the memories are not perfect....)
and so i think when they start to fall for each other, it's coming from a place of like, knowing each other intimately already. like even if they've never shared secrets or Backstories or anything, they have seen each other at their worst moments, both wrt doing evil shit and wrt low points, near-permanent death experiences and so on. in a way, i think that the two of them starting out as enemies means that they can each see the other as vulnerable.
obviously this is especially remarkable with how tolys sees gil, since gil loathes the idea of being seen as weak or vulnerable at all, but tolys still sees the scared child in him.....tolys by the 1960s or so has obviousy been through A Lot, and for a very long time, and yet despite this i think he tries really, really hard to also maintain a veneer of, if not strength per se, then stability, and gil knows how fragile he is....
7.) could they have piqued interest in one another without said circumstances?
(question 6 is about their environment influencing them)
HM. well, tolys will sleep with p much anyone imo lmao, and gil is (at first) a notable exception asdfv but i think to actually answer this question i'm going to mostly be looking at them living together in ivan's little soviet house of horrors lmao
i think that the years immediately following the war (and obviously the war itself) were so horrific, and took such a massive toll on both of them, that they're different people in 1945 than they were even in 1944, let alone anything before the war.......now, you know that i have gil being massively changed by ww1 too, and i think tolys being forced to live with him makes him realize that yeah, actually, gil is a totally different person now, if he sort of tries to hide it (or maybe his shit-eating grin was a facade all along....) and that creates a foundation for tolys to trust gil. and gil seeing just, everything tolys has to deal with on a daily basis makes him feel genuine empathy for him, which creates the foundation for gil to actually be sincere and nice to tolys lmao
i can see them hooking up without this, and maybe after many many years they could form an actual relationship, but i think being forced together makes the process not only faster but also more effective.
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