#also no. 1 malewife

[yourdicc]

[seasonalberries]

Life right after Rei‘s injury

[weyler]

[queerdiazs]

tease tidbit tuesday 🫧

bet yall forgot i moonlight as a writer lmao

Buck, red-faced with his brows knit so close together they’re nearly one, snarls his lip in disgust. He doesn’t say anything and instead cups his palms around Abbie Jean’s elbows, pulling her carefully up out of the pool and passing her off to a paramedic. Once she’s wrapped in a blanket and shuttled off, he turns to stare back down at Eddie.  (Buck is so hot when he’s pissed off, holy shit.)  Eddie offers a smile. It isn’t received well.  Shaking his head, Buck reaches down and knots his hand in the front of Eddie’s t-shirt. He hauls Eddie all the way up and out of the water, and Eddie would be impressed and probably turned on if Buck didn’t look like he’s ready to tear the whole world apart. 

tagged by @loveyouanyway and @wikiangela, mwah

tagging @spagheddiediaz, @jeeyuns, @neverevan, @exhuastedpigeon, @actualalligator, @honestlydarkprincess, @rogerzsteven, @underwaterninja13, @devirnis, and @monsterrae1 if any of you have something you want to share!

[icedlava1]

I’ve been playing Bayonetta a lot lately. I really like these two KCBSKCNDK

[girlboss-malewife-gauntlet-melee]

PROPAGANDA

mina/johnathon

She's the genius of the Dracula-hunting mission and he swears to follow her into hell if she becomes a vampire and calls it the holiest love. What more can you ask for

percabeth

Annabeth is a clever daughter of Athena and good with a knife. Percy is a seaweed brain and he loves his gf :)

Come on guys. At least half of you were Percy Jackson kids. You know they're perfect for this

Percy literally admits to being a malewife like i'm not kidding. He talks about how he's amazing at cooking/cleaning/looking pretty. He loves his girlfriend Annabeth very much for being an awesome genius badass and they are just an amazing couple in general.

there is so much fucking percabeth propaganda yall i give up

[sheyhem]

Twitter had a thing and I was compelled to make designs for both of these two on the spot just for this meme lmao my two favorite british men on a no good very bad trip involving kidnappings, medical malpractice and an unhealthy dose of the horrors <3

[bluupxels]

i made a family jewels founder 🧍

[arlathen]

gale apparently being camp cook and marian being a picky eater has me imagining hijinks i must confess.

[archivestarlyht]

"sailing is like sex. do it wrong, and it'll make you sick. but do it right, and there's no feeling in the world like it." @ mal ! rip

ᴅʀᴀɢᴏɴ ᴀɢᴇ II ꜱᴇɴᴛᴇɴᴄᴇ ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛᴇʀꜱ

he’d gestured at one of the boats run aground in the sand,   the sea lapping at its carcass.   “i’ve never actually been on a boat,”   he mused,   looking to distract from the silence that had fallen between them.   he could have sworn he saw a flicker of mischief in blackwall’s eyes when the warrior responded,    “sailing is like sex. do it wrong,   and it'll make you sick.   but do it right,   and there's no feeling in the world like it.”

he has to be doing this on purpose,   thought the mage,   warmth coiling through him.   he forgot about the black lotus he’d knelt to collect.  the coast’s waves thundered against the rocky shore,   battering them lightly with ocean spray.   and the way he leaned into that damned voice,   the low rumble of it —

“sounds like you’ve done it often,”   he said,   half distractedly.   wait.  the color drained from his face.   “sailing.   i mean sailing,  of course.”   maker.    no one else heard that.

he managed to recover himself,   though,   adding,  “i mean,   i can barely swim —”   or, well,   not like this.   a dragon was as good as useless like this.   he missed wading into the sea,   water cooling scales and dripping down his wings.   he would lay in the sun afterwards for its warmth until lulled into a sleep.   “that far at sea sounds unthinkable  ...”

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

Met Majima at the batting cages but tbh, fighting him felt mean this time?? He genuinely didn’t want a fight, man was in a bad mood and just wanted to hit some baseballs and it’s fuckin Kiryu rockin’ up looking for a fight this time, how the tables turn. Still a great fight and then fought him twice more and he was happy as ever but yeah man, Majima showing a side to him that isn’t just the Mad Dog persona always feels weird and makes me sad, I don’t like when he’s sad :(

[anarkhebringer]

I can't wait to see how Xaela look with this scale upgrade, the Viper official render is one thing but what about the other faces? Does face 3 ManRa still look delicious? Arkhe's a face 3 I'm asking only the most important questions.

[azulaaaaaaah]

rating every zuko ship (cause that mf is shipped with everyone)

CLICKBAIT!!! this isn’t every zuko ship just the main ones i immediately lied lol. idk if any of these are hot takes or not but please don’t crucify me (might do a part 2 where it’s azula ships)

Jinko - Zuko/Jin

6/10

awwww it’s cute (for what it is)

and what it is was one singular date that was never really mentioned again

i really appreciate how jin is so unperturbed by zuko’s awkward angst and just genuinely likes him

howevvver she’s kinda one dimensional (as she’s only in like an episode) and i just don’t see this going anywhere longterm

less a ship, more a vehicle for zuko’s character development lol

Jetko- Zuko/Jet

3/10

jet being zuko’s first gay encounter is canon in my eyes

don’t ship them however cause i hate jet with the fire of a thousands suns

similar issues to jin as well where their interactions are extremely limited so personally have no clue how this could be a long term thing

Maiko- Zuko/Mai

5/10

i am so impartial on this ship it’s not even funny.

i get that it’s canon. i get that izumi looks suspiciously like mai so it’s endgame. i just don’t see HOW?? it feels as if the writers realised zutara was becoming popular and were like ‘OH SHIT WE GOTTA DEFUSE THIS SITUATION SOMEHOW’

their relationship is basically just mai being a cold asshole and zuko being an angry asshole and there’s no change or development between EITHER OF THEM

however when they’re cute they’re cute !!!!

‘i love zuko more than i fear you’ COLDEST LINE EVER

however again it’s like - you had a crush on him as a kid. he was BANISHED. you dated for like a month as teens. you argued the whole time. he left again- and shortly after you saved him from prison, but then you were imprisoned partly due to his actions. you get back together again, he becomes the ruler of a country, and then you’re surprised it’s isolating him/making him even more of an asshole???

on the other hand we as a society need to admit that zuko is weirdly possessive of her (ig that’s a positive if ur a booktok romance girlie but im not). like if i was mai i wouldn’t put up with that toxic shit either

at the end of the day, i honestly don’t care that they’re canon lol- but i think they’d probably best as a bitchy best friend duo

Zukaang - Zuko/Aang

1/10

not round here partner. not round here

my first issue is the age gap is objectively extremely weird if examined in canon. leaving it at that

i get that this is grumpy x sunshine in a way the other ships aren’t to me- but we’ve only ever seen these two characters interact with each other when there’s (again) A WEIRD AGE GAP

they are bros in the least homosexual way possible

the cherry on top of this situation is: isn’t aang the reincarnation of his great grandpa? isn’t that giving slight, uh, inc*st vibes??? imagine if people shipped korra and jinora isn’t that just WEIRD???

Zuki - Zuko/Suki

8/10

is this my most controversial take ???

i am a sucker for bodyguard x royal family dynamics guys

and the fact that this is girlboss x malewife is even BETTER

suki seems the most competent at handling his pissy ass in a way the other people on this list aren’t

like she’s real. she’s not sugarcoating his situation, BUT SHES COMPASSIONATE !!

i don’t like throuples typically but suzukki is even eliter than this, which removes the whole ‘going against the bro code’ element that arises from them being together

also i feel like if you haven’t read the comics this doesnt make sense At All so please do

-2 points for the lack of tangible reason to ship them lol

Zutara - Zuko/Katara

7.5/10

okay this one makes the most logistical sense to me within canon (solely examined as a zuko ship not overall)

it really seems as if they were gonna make this canon and swerved circa book 2

LIKE CMONNNN OG ENEMIES TO LOVERS WHERE THE GUY ACTUALLY HAS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND ISN’T JUST EVIL? FIRE X WATER? ITS INTRIGUING

something about this makes me uncomfortable though. (despite the age gap which again a little weird)

something about katara potentially becoming the fire lady is so… icky. she’s a waterbender. the fire nation tried to systematically erase her kind. her mother is killed by the fire nation because they think she’s a waterbender. and katara…. what, becomes part of the royal family? it just seems wrong, and like something she wouldn’t be into

also i feel like their arguments would be a little too NUCLEAR. there’s like, a 50% chance of divorce

she deserves a better ending than that is all i’m saying

to paraphrase the hunger games: katara has plenty of fire herself. SHE NEEDS THAT DANDELION IN THE SPRING MAN

(i’m a kataang truther)

Zukka - Zuko/Sokka

9/10

my zuko related otp!!!

bros to lovers guys, where zuko falls first but sokka falls HARDER !!!

ik this will never be canon and im happy with that. i know there’s not even a whisper of romance between them in the show, but i just think it’s c u t e .

sokka (like suki) is very likely to call zuko out on his shit, but less likely to lose his own shit (like katara)

this in my heart of hearts is 10/10 however is still problematic in a similar way to zutara

his mother is killed by the fire nation and he (presumably) becomes consort ?

however though, i would still say it’s not as ruhroh as zutara bc firstly, sokka isn’t a waterbender, and secondly, ‘consort’ is a lot more open to interpretation than i think fire lady is. in my opinion a consort ≠ a fire lady, just like irl a consort ≠ a queen. it kinda means he can still be ambassador to the southern water tribe/a leader of his own people, while just so happening to be married to the fire lord.

overall i can’t help but stan a friends to lover ship cmOn now

[tenko-thinks]

Upper moons and an s/o with large breasts

Cw: a reader with some huge honkers. I'm talking a real pair of badonkers. Some HUGE habagah-- anyways, suggestive , mentions of lactation?¿ I'm projecting my back hurts

Ft. Douma Akaza and Gyutaro

Requests are open i encourage them, im not that creative

♡ ------ ♡

Douma

Douma is one person I see that values breasts on a feminine partner. They imply fertility, after all.

And that implies youth. Beauty. Which is quite attractive not only to the part of you that he desires to devour. But also to the part of him that is a.. Man.

His hands are almost always trailing down to your breasts. Resting on the softness there.

He only becomes handsier over time, bolder and pretty uncaring of boundaries. Or public opinion. He has a right to squeeze, he feels.

When he's bored he enjoys them in an almost cat like fashion. Lifting them and releasing them to watch the jiggle of soft flesh.

Absolutely the worst to sleep with though you'll be in bed and a hand with find your tit under your clothing and it's like Antarctica. He thinks your reactions are to die for. So he's going to keep doing it of course.

There's a part of him that wants to delve deeper on the idea of your fertility. Watch your breasts swell. He wonders if your milk would be like drinking your blood? Just as devine?

Also you're twinsies with fat tits congrats

Akaza

Akaza does not strike me as someone who cares about the body of his partner so long as they're healthy.

However he cannot deny his base attraction to. The simpler things in life. If you're well endowed. Well, it only means more of you to love.

And love you he does. He's not great at showing gentle affection but words of affirmation are natural to him.

If you're insecure of your chest? He's there to soothe you.

If you're proud of them and love showing them off? Free hype man.

#1 malewife no matter the form his s/o takes i will die on this hill.

Pull a "my tits feel heavy" and ask him to hold them. It'll be funny i promise.

Gets very flustered around you in the nude however. Pointedly NOT looking at your chest. Save him.

Gyutaro

Living in yoshiwara, Gyutaro has seen numerous women. Most of which bearing a few extra pounds on their chest.

He hardly even knew smaller boobs existed . Sure he knew they Did but big was average to him. So I can definitely see him being more of a tits guy just by nature of his environment.

He's an asshole though , bless his heart. Very much the type to just like. Lightly swat at your boob when you annoy him or catch him off guard.

Laughs if your chest is sensitive, and he will abuse that knowledge. Going out of his way to find situations to tease about it.

He however also knows the downsides of having them as well. Considering he's a brother to a sister in a similar predicament as you. Back pain or whatever.

So to make up for his unrelenting teasing, Gyutaro will often just hold you. Or help you crack your back. On a good day he might give you a shoulder rub if you ask nicely. He will call you a loser or pathetic ♡

He often has Daki bringing you warm compresses or bags of rice to rest on your lower back. When she doesn't cry about it, she's actually surprisingly understanding about the whole situation. Not that she'd say that through her pride.

[mhsdatgo]

By the way, you can say you hate characters and STILL admit that they were abused or harassed. There's literally nothing wrong. Denying it or romanticizing it because of a strange kink of yours won't make your hate any less evident, trust me.

Rhaenyra was abused. She's continuously taken advantage of, and brushed away the moment she isn't needed anymore. And she experiences this first hand with her own father, who completely ruins motherhood for her when she grows up watching Aemma get impregnated and either miscarry or have the baby be stillborn or die in the cradle. If Viserys had been by her side as a supporter to her claim since the start, he wouldn't have gotten Aemma pregnant again and again in the pursuit of a male child. He wouldn't have married Alicent for the same reason. Even after, the only reason why he still stands by her side, and it's time the fandom accepts this, it's solely because of his grief and guilt, because Rhae is the only remnant of Aemma.

And there it starts. Firstly, groomed and left alone naked and alone by her uncle in a brothel. Secondly, slept with Criston Cole (although she did coerce him, that's still a literal TEENAGER) then she's married to a gay man and still approached super young by her new bodyguard and just one year later she's started giving birth to his children. (Side note: FUCK Rhaenyra x Harwin. FUCK with reverb. With hard K.)

And up to this point, most fan agree that she's had a shitty life, although I don't agree with some of her choices. (like her treatment of Criston Cole and the bastards, not because I'm some kind of bigot, but because passing bastards as trueborn in THAT precise world sets them up for failure, not being legally deserving of a thone DOES NOT mean me hating them. That's for another post.)

To top it all off, she meets her uncle again, and there starts the fanfic self insert. They have sex on a beach the day of Laena's funeral, the only one of the three wives he's ever been canonically loyal to (FUCK you writers) and fans think it's soulmates meeting again or sum shit. They subtly threaten Laenor to fake his death or actually die (that's what they were trying to do, cope harder) and marry mere days after the death of Laena.

Yes, all cute and romantic (for Dumbnyras twats) but literally, has it done anything good? For Rhaenyra or like, anyone else? It just brought Daemon closer to the line of succession. Literally. That's all the good it has done.

Fast forward to ep 10. How do I even start with this? Only Jace seems to be on Rhaenyra's side. It's clear he only obeys to Daemon out of fear and is scared to talk back to him. Meanwhile, he COMPLETELY disregards his wife's, and by his faction's loyalties, QUEEN's, orders, he ignores her wails of pain as she miscarries their daughter out of pure shock and grief for her father's death. He lashes out and chokes her on the same day and people still see him as the malewife to Rhaenyra's girlboss. They're always ready to do award-deserving mental gymnastic to justify this man.

"He was planning war because he wanted to distract himself!!!!" "He only choked Rhae because he was mad at Viserys, he'd never hurt her!!!!!!"

Fuck off. Coming from probably Rhaenyra's #1 hater. Fuck. Off. Don't say you care about her place in the view of men when you're ready to justify shit like this.

This is the same man who runs off and has an affair with a teenager, and then prefers going on and having a badass death instead of joining his wife and children who need him in King's Landing.

Do I like Rhaenyra? No. Do I think that, because of this, she's never been abused, or exploited in any way, in her life? ALSO no. My distaste for her character has NOTHING to do with Viserys, Criston, Daemon, Harwin or literally ANYONE ELSE in her life.

Alicent Hightower time, baby.

My mother, my aunt, my grandmother, my entire bloodline, my Roman Empire. And more. To anyone who thinks of her as nothing but a bitter/jealous girl, go read @feretrumdulcia 's post about this matter cuz there's literally no one I've seen that words it better. (And bub if you're reading, long live you and the way you think.)

https://www.tumblr.com/feretrumdulcia/720746371814195200/i-have-seen-quite-often-that-many-people-consider

Anyone who can read this and argue that Alicent is envious/jealous or bitter, honestly needs to take the heart shaped sunglasses off, get off tumblr and Ao3, learn what media literacy is and start learning how to possess a crumble of it. To us it makes sense to synpathize with both, because we've seen the big picture. To Alicent, Rhaenyra gave her virtue to the man that almost killed her brother, and chose to believe she did not out of trust and maybe nostalgia for her friendship and easier times, only to have her father be blamed and taken away from her as a result.

She has four kids in the span of, how much? Five, six years? Seven at best? Helaena and Aemond are NINE MONTHS APART. Viserys didn't even let her rest after she gave birth to her daughter. And I'm convinced 100% that he kept her as Idk some whore he didn't need to pay for because it's stated that he never wanted Aegon but the son he butchered Aemma for. Why keep on bedding her and forcing children on her when you'd never get what you want from her?

Throughout the series she's called bitter and downright a c*nt for this and that reason. She tries convincing Viserys that Rhae's children are CLEARLY bastards and she's setting herself and them up for failure by committing treason and putting them on the throne? Nah, power hungry, jealous, bitter. She marries Helaena to Aegon as a last resort because she's Valyrian and probably would've received proposals worse than the ones Rhaenyra made that would eventually convince Viserys to give her away? Hates her daughter, abuser, shitty mom. Rhae's sons slit her son's eye out instead of running when they had the chance and she rightfully lashes out? Nah, crazy ass, for the dungeons. She gives money and moon tea to her son's rape victim to ensure she gets a way out and isn't forced to have a baby she doesn't want? Bruh, rape apologist. She goes to Aegon and RIGHTFULLY disciplines him? Abuser. Forced to show her feet to a rancid filthy man to know where her son is? Upholds the patriarchy, hypocrite. She convinces Aegon to start fighting for her family because it's either them or the Blacks and he needs to start putting his life together and fight for them, so she crowns him and makes him King? Treason, deserves death, long live the brothel queens.

Somehow, it is ALWAYS HER FAULT. And those few that admit how wronged she was make fun of her.

CAN SHE FUCKING WIN?! Or y'all just hate her because she isn't Valyrian?

Btw almost all of these arguments are the same for Book!Alicent who I personally believe to be FAR MORE than just a bitter stepmom that hates her stepdaughter. She arguably has more reasons to start a coup against her in the books without that prophecy shit.

TLDR; It's OKAY to hate characters and admit they're abused and taken advantage of at the same time. You don't have a moral high-ground on no one because you hate or love a character instead of the other.

[eldrith]

oh babe dont get me wrong, i thoroughly enjoyed the fic (everything you write is an automatic favorite) and it was so, so heartwrenchingly beautiful but omg i'm in pain lmao.

also going back to the last ask you answered of mine (before the sad fic one. lol)!! absolutely he is the #1 wifehusband. dare i say #1 malewife. but this part!! "he’d want to talk to his wife for days on end, and also could (and does) talk about her for so so long to anyone who was around. #1 wifehusband i stand by this" skdufhaskf YESSSSSSSS. i can just imagine him keeping his wife up later than usual (and not for the reasons she truly desires. jace is a dumb Loser for not noticing.) yapping her ear off, especially if it's been a busy busy day as the crown prince.!! or rhaenyra having to cut jace off in a council meeting bc he's droning on and on about his wife, and while she thinks it's cute and endearing, they have actual business to attend to.. "and wearing pieces of jewelry that belongs to each other omg." girl i just went weak in the knees ugh akshfaksj didn't know i needed that in my life but now i do. or jace having jewelry crafted from pieces of old swords/equipment of his for his wife to have something of his with her always, or his wife giving him a tiny pocket square of embroidery to tuck into his pocket that has become so worn from the amount of time he spends rubbing his thumb over it (especially during longgggggg meetings). he lowkey gives fidgeter vibes so i can just see it becoming a soothing mechanism for him !! "so cute and like can u imagine how rhaenyra would just be so happy to see how happy jace is (& how incredible of a man hes become… hes so devoted to his sweet wife)" i'm getting teary eyed with an idea of rhaenyra thinking about how proud harwin would be of jace and what a great man he's become. anyway don't let me expand further on that bc i will Cry (and talk your ear off for 12 hours)!!!!!!! also rhaenyra would be the best mother in law??? ever??? so so supportive and sweet and loves how much you love and adore her son. anyway. Anyway. also in my head luke lives and spends 90% of the day teasing jace over how whipped he is for his wife :// little brother things i fear. and jace has zero shame bc he's #1 wife guy and knows luke will be the exact same way one day soon.

one day i will expand on jace as a father but. i fear i've talked enough today pookie. love u. - hubby jace anon <33

aw stop ur too nice omg :') im glad u enjoyed it <3

but omg yes 10000% to all of this.

jace literally bounding into his wife's quarters, basically oblivious to the looks she's sending him as he just rambles and talks, so excited to be with her. and asking her about her day, sighing gently when she starts to kiss up and down his neck nevermind i can't go there

also in the earlier stages of marriage or when the war is quite stressful and theyre at council and jace out of nowhere just snaps to defend his wife's honor, calling someone out who slightly disrespected her and the chamber goes silent... <3<3 love <3<3

i also loveee the idea of having a piece of him on her at all times <3 and like... jace gets one of her rings and puts it on a necklace and wears it under his clothes. he fidgets with it when he's reading or strategizing, just as he does with the pocketsquare (you have to give him a new one bc the first one is so frayed) alSO he takes your hair ribbons and uses them as bookmarks. yeah

& ur so right rhaenyra would be emotional and see so much of harwin in jace and shes just so proud. also yes she'd be the best mother in law i see her inviting you to dine with her and just thoroughly enjoying your presence, gossiping and just loving spending time with you & seeing you interact with her son. she would love you like a daughter - she always wanted one.

also stop can you imagine luke... oh my goddd. hed be thrilled to make fun of jace and i feel like he'd become so fond of calling jace ur dog lmao.

things like being in a hall with luke when jace enters, speaking with some lord - you wait for him patiently to end his conversation but luke has no mind for that and immediately teases jace. calling out to him, "here boy!" mocking and whistling like one would summon a dog, "your lady needs you!"

or or or (you've awoken a beast in me this is your fault) like

him walking past and catching jace adjusting the clasp on your necklace or something, maybe helping you with your slippers and he cant help but just go "i swear you’ve got him trained better than the hounds." you roll your eyes at luke, shooing him away with a grin as he mutters "he’d probably sit and beg if you asked him to.”

but jace would just grin so proudly, laughing and shaking his head as he stepped back to admire his handiwork - then sending you a look when luke is gone lmao.

& luke and jace sitting at a feast watching you dance with others and luke just gives him a look, "wipe that grin off your face, you look like you've gone mad. i think you're salivating" and jace is just like "she's so beautiful." & luke rolls his eyes, gagging, “gods help me if i ever get like that.”

but jace knows his brother, and he smirks, "oh, you’ll be there someday, luke.” luke rolls his eyes and huffs, "strike me dead first." and with no hesitation jace just mutters "i'll be sure to. if not before."

yeah i have so many thoughts about that... luke would become jace's wife's annoying little brother but also her bff

also PLEASE father jace bring it on omg. he'd be the cutest father i actually am going to pass out