#also some people suck ass at tagging and when i block out certain tags some people didnt use the tag they were writing about??

[luna-rainbow]

Hello, hello, long rant incoming

When I reposted this on AO3, I had intentionally minimised tagging and summary because I wanted to archive it rather than attract readers. I didn’t even tag it Steve/Bucky because there just wasn’t enough mention of Bucky in it. Importantly, P*ggy was not tagged.

The user calls themselves “Rebuttal” and their only work is another essay rebutting someone else’s post on Civil War, which they had to post separately because I guess the OP blocked them. So we have a serial offender with too much time on their hands going around to directly suck the joy out of other people’s fandom experience.

They begin with this:

Although I don't particularly care for Steve's ending, this essay does not offer support for a different one.

*Inhales* Honey, can you please Google analytical essay and narrative essay before you unload your drivel on other people? This "essay" is a fic - while there's some character analysis, the emotive language should be sufficient clue that the focus is the story. It’s like reading The Fifth Elephant then writing to Sir Pratchett to argue his “essay on Discworld” is factually incorrect because it offers no support for the idea that the Earth is flat.

Steve is self-sufficient. He is not shown as requiring Bucky as foundational to his being. (…) We do know Steve was willing and expecting to go it alone after Sarah's death and that he is fully confident in his own abilities; he can "do this all day." Bucky's offer at the apartment earns a small smile, not a great overcoming.

I enjoyed how you, at multiple points in your essay, pick at certain turns of (evocative) phrasing while ignoring actual canon mentions. Explain why you deliberately omitted my mention of the canon phrase "Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky". Sure, Sarah was Steve's touchstone, but Steve's words clearly indicated that upon Sarah's death, that touchstone role shifted to Bucky.

Steve's "I can do this all day" is said a total of 4 times during all the movies. Each time he says it to a bully (one time he specifically says it to protect Bucky), and never in relation to his emotional turmoil. Also just, factually, he never references "I can do this all day" when Sarah dies can you be real for a sec.

It's mighty rich of you to say a grieving person who had JUST BURIED HIS SOLE LIVING RELATIVE that a) "he is willing to do it alone" - I can guarantee no one who has lost their sole beloved family member feels "willing" in that situation; and b) downplaying the smile that took all of Steve's energy to muster. All I can conclude is you know nothing of grief. (And since you love the word "disservice" so much - your interpretation of the scene is a fucking disservice to CEvans' acting.)

Steve's choice to go to war has nothing to do with Bucky. Steve has tried five times to enlist and stated his reasons, which have nothing to do with Bucky and everything to do with not liking bullies.

Because, you know, saying “I want to join the 107th cos I’m gay for my best friend” is going to go down real well in the 1940s military *snerks*

Can you get your head out of your ass for one minute and consider that people make decisions based on multiple factors? By acknowledging that Bucky is an important factor in Steve wanting to join the war DOES NOT MINIMISE STEVE'S MORAL COMMITMENT TO FIGHT BULLIES.

Steve is also not aghast at hearing Bucky's assignment. - Back this up.

Bucky does not believe in pre-serum Steve as much as pre-serum Steve believes in himself. - Right. *In Bucky’s tired voice* Because simply ~*♫~believing in yourself~*♫~ is going to stop you getting killed. This is a fucking war, not a back alley. Do you know the death rate for US soldiers in WW2? 1 in 40. For perspective, the death rate from coronavirus is currently sitting at 1 in 70.

Whether Bucky went to war or not, Steve wanted to go. - Again, back your ass-umptions up.

Steve was told Bucky was dead. He was going to try to rescue the rest of the 107th. Again, to suggest that Steve's courageous act is about Bucky is a disservice to Steve.

So not only do you remember fuck all about the movie where it doesn’t involve your fave, you apparently remember fuck all about the scenes where YOUR FAVE APPEARS.

P*ggy: “What do you plan to do, walk to Austria?” Steve: “If that’s what it takes.” P*ggy: “You heard the Colonel. Your friend is most likely dead.” Steve: “You don’t know that.”

NOW LOOK THOSE WORDS IN THE EYES AND TELL ME HIS RESCUE MISSION IS NOT ABOUT BUCKY.

Also, Steve wanting to rescue his best friend is a "disservice" to his character? Condolences to your friends and your character, I guess.

It is strange to ignore Steve's interactions with people other Bucky. Okay here we go, we’re finally getting to why this steaming trash heap landed in my inbox. It's Peggy who - I knew it. I fucking knew it. Of course it came from someone who likes Miss I-need-to-make-everything-about-me - appreciated pre-serum Steve at the flagpole - Oh you mean the appreciation she showed by not uttering a single word to him?

Peggy and Erskine supported pre-serum Steve's drive to do his part when Bucky did not. It seems truer to say that they more likely "kept Steve afloat" during his basic training, of which Bucky had no part.

Hold on. *walks off to cackle* *walks back, wheezing*. P*ggy kept Steve afloat? Miss-never-said-a-single-word-to-Steve-P*ggy, “supported” Steve during his basic training??

Again, I urge you to actually watch CATFA, where *checks notes* your fave has her biggest movie role. AFTER STEVE FINISHES BASIC TRAINING, the two of them sit in a car and exchange the infamous lines:

P*ggy: “You have no idea how to talk to a woman, do you?” Steve: “I think this is the longest conversation I’ve had with one.”

They have, by their own admission, not had a conversation before this, so which bull’s ass did you pull the “P*ggy kept Steve afloat during his basic training” shit out of?

There is nothing in the scenes to suggest he finds it a great miracle. The whole assumption of Steve's reaction seems to be a Bucky-centric projection rather than Steve-centric.

No, honey, I think you are just blinded by your Bucky hate. You looked at a scene where 2 characters (including your fave) claimed that Bucky is no longer alive, and Steve himself said, "I thought you were dead" - and Bucky was, against all odds and expectations of at least 3 different characters, found alive...and said, NAH NAH NAH NAH there's nothing here! There's nothing~here~to~suggest~it's a miracle.

Honestly I think you're the one living in a different plane of projection.

When Steve awakens in the future, his line to Fury is "I had a date." With Peggy, not Bucky.

Pfft he said “I had a date”, not "I had a date with P*ggy". So your interpretation is just as invalid.

And just, realistically, do you really think Steve is deluded enough to expect he’d wake up in time for a dance? And...do you really think Steve is desperate enough that he'd go for a woman who blasted him with live rounds for locking lips with another woman? When in your own words you said he hates bullies?

We do not know what Steve thought as he died, so saying he is content with death is not supported.

How about this -- "we do not know what Steve thought as he died, so saying he is not content with death is not supported". It’s my conjecture against yours and you’ve come onto my turf to be a presumptuous prick.

He has Peggy and Natasha. To ignore these two relationships seems to do a disservice to both characters.

Ah yes, the great relationship with P*ggy, who in 5 minutes of her screen time is characterised by: 1) mocking Steve as “dramatic” when he asks for guidance, and 2) her florid delirium in which he had to pull the emotional labour to placate her, and 3) her being grateful that she's led a great life without Steve.

If oldwoman!P*ggy was such an important relationship to Steve, he wouldn't have lamented to Natasha that "it's not easy finding someone with shared experience".

If there is any lesson Steve should learn in the modern day, it is that Steve sacrifices and Bucky leaves. Once involuntarily with the Snap, but twice voluntarily.

WHO THE FUCK HURT YOU AND MESSED UP YOUR BRAIN. I don't know how you can look at those scenes and pretend that the sole victim is Steve.

(Actually I can, because it's a common refrain from certain shit!stans who can't deal with the idea of Bucky being morally good)

Bucky sacrificed his own freedom and lived time in order to protect other people from getting hurt. And Bucky being involuntarily "Snapped" only counts as "Steve's sacrifice"?? The one who actually dies/gets Snapped isn't making a sacrifice? My gods the logic in this one is strong. (Also by referring to Bucky's death as Steve's sacrifice you have inadvertently acknowledged just how important Bucky is to him but I guess that flew over your head like the rest of this story)

It also ignores that Steve lived five years without all of those people. He had accepted the loss and changed into someone they would never truly know or understand.

Mate…

Do you hear yourself…

YOU LITERALLY WROTE THE COUNTERARGUMENT TO YOUR ENTIRE ESSAY.

Steve lived TWELVE YEARS WITHOUT YOUNG P*GGY. He had ACCEPTED THE LOSS (although, in my mind, it's really no big loss) and BOTH OF THEM HAD CHANGED INTO COMPLETELY UNRECOGNISABLE PEOPLE, not to mention they never truly knew or understood each other to begin with. So if your logic is that Steve has changed too much in 5 years to be around his old friends, why the fuck would he want to be around a woman he last saw 12 years ago and who he knew got an entire happy married life with another man. Eww.

I mean if NTR is your kink that's fine but no need to flaunt that on my turf.

The fun thing about fandom is that canon is open to different interpretations. You could read the tavern scene to say P*ggy is inviting Steve to be her right partner, just as I could point out that Steve’s pointed silence is a resounding rejection of that invitation.

But there is incorrect fandom etiquette, and that’s when you stomp into an innocuous narrative musing and start a ship war.

And I beg of you to learn another word from "disservice".

(The whole pile of horse shit for anyone needing to have their blood boiled)

[teddybeartoji]

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[carpedanneel]

Ya’ll are fucking wild here. no wonder why this rp has just been the same 5 people for the last 4 years. But I thought maybe things are different, maybe it’s changed. Wrong. Admin, you still make rules to cater to the admin or the “inner” 3 other members they’ve deemed “worthy”. You make rules that cater to pretty much you only. You dont care about how you make other people feel, as long as you're getting your way. And the members here have been so brainwashed by the bullshit either theyre too scared or too intimidated to say anything. You still find a way to corrupt people from playing certain fc’s you have history with STILL forcing history on certain fc’s. A history ONE player expects you to remember every detail to even if you don’t like the plot. That one player who makes SO MANY people uncomfortable, whether they want to admit it or not, who also just happens to be the main admin. The main admin who doesnt even do a god damn thing on the main, and then will make every excuse as to why not. Sarah, you’ve found so many ways to provoke, gaslight, bully, guilt or force threads, histories, plots on probably every single player here. It’s gross. You deserve every call out youve gotten. But I don’t even 100% blame you. I also blame most of the spineless people you claim to be your “friends”. Here they complain and shit talk behind your back but then turn around and lick the ground you walked on. But probably because you’ve bullied them into it. I love how you post this long ass thing from the main saying how this place isn't for everyone and if youre bothered, blah blah. Just say this place is for you to do whatever tf you want whenever you want, and be done with it. At least be honest. How many times did you ask if you should drop certain chars looking for pity and how many people begged you to stay, Sarah? No one. That's telling. But its good to know this group is only here for you and your bullshit. Since this group is "anything goes" then the second someone calls your character out ic, you do the same thing you do ooc and come up with every excuse on why youre not wrong. Amd then kick them out! Maybe instead of always blaming everyone both ic and ooc, maybe look inward.I tried, I really tried to come in with an open mind that maybe this place had changed over the many years, but it clearly never will.Also, on the subject of bullying, Lena, you're also a god damn bully, which is funny since youre barely even on. But you still found a way, thought it was okay to message me and try to get me to drop ashley. First time we spoke you instantly were guilting me saying I swiped up Ashley before you could. And then to actually IM me the other day trying to guilt me into giving her up? So fucking rude. But at least you got your wish. Ya’ll have zero class. RP should be fun. This place sucks the fucking life out of you. I now remember why Sarah used to be banned from so many hollywood rps back in the day and why this place was basically blacklisted. Why i used to have to block her and other members here from my character pages bc youd steal shit. I bet I could log onto an old blog and find FANMAILS of her TRYING to force ships and plots in old rps, thats how long its been going on. I will say i do feel bad for some of the quality players in this group. I just dont know why you put up with it when there are groups out there where you dont have to be foeced into ships or plots just bc youve known someone for so long. Where you dont have to NOT come on the dash bc a player/character is being redundant and miserable 24/7. You dont have to sit here and keep letting sarah and this group take advantage of you. Anyways, I'm out. To the few here who actually reached out to plot or even just to chat, ya'll are cool and feel free to dm me or hmu on discord. New members, I'd beware if I was you.

@carpediem-celebrpg

Just for context, this was what I wrote in the ooc of an rp I just left. I'm sure it got deleted but I wanted to put it in the tags to let the rpc know this rp is still a problem and so are some members. Beware if joining, it's all shady.

[davekat-sucks]

dude, people dont like you because you post ship hate in the ship tag and are a total hypocrite, not because you have different headcanons or opinions on ships

example of said hypocrisy: you say davekat is bad because “it’s abusive in the epilogues”

(which is really just how you interpret it and the epilogues aren’t even officially canon anyway)

then proceed to say that ships between doc scratch (adult and canon pedophile) and child characters who were harassed by him. which is blatantly an abusive and pedophillic ship *in actual canon*.

if you just didnt like davekat or certain trans hcs that’d be fine but you constantly shit on people for them and then dump it the tags, which is just rude

say you were looking for content of a ship you like (davejade, for example), so you search it up, and theres a bunch of posts that are just someone saying that it sucks and is terrible and how its awful

(also you say a lot of fucked up shit, like tr4p, which is a slur /in the context you used it/)

I am a hypocrite and can acknowledge that I am one. Not many others would admit to this, not even the Anons that come by sending me these kinds of things. You wouldn't have sent it if I didn't have the option to put Anonymous asks on. Because you know if you shown your own account, people will be hounding on your asses. That is what it is like to try and share an opinion on the Internet. Nobody in this modern fandom can do it these days without someone trying to cancel them over bullshit. It has come to the point where doxxing and harassing a guy is okay as long as it is for progressive movement. Also, I don't mind dark ships. It's fictional. FAKE. Just dislike when people hate other people liking it, not knowing they also have similar ones, but brush it off as uwu soft fluff crap by the end. Like you can't say Vriska and Terezi is all sunshine, funny Scourge Sisters, and lesbians without the history and baggage of the two in the series they were from. I only criticize the sort of headcanon because there is some flaws about it that I wish to share. There are others as well that want to share their opinions about a certain fanon, but are too nervous to speak out about it. Even if they are within the same sort of minority group like say an actual trans dislikes the headcanons of Trans Roxy, Trans Vriska, and non-binary Eridan, they are called out for being a traitor of it and get accused of lying of being a trans. We have seen this before on Twitter with June Egbert. I tag it because I'm not afraid to let my voice speak out. Because it is fine to have some criticism about a certain thing. Not all works are perfect and there will be someone who dislikes it. How you react to it is different. You either ignore, block, or move on. I don't mind if others say DaveJade or EriRoxy sucks. I just move on with my life and find other works that give more positive feedback. There may be times I would reblog to disagree or point out some flaw in the post, but that's it. Trap is also not a slur. It's just a term to describe anime boys mistaken as a girl. It's the Western term for otokonoko in Japan. Which will always be a thing in anime/manga. If you don't like it, then GTFO out of the anime/manga community.

[fereldanwench]

As I've been watching folks come forward with stories about bullying and gatekeeping in the Cyberpunk fandom, and watching other folks who are kind of on the sidelines (like me) chime in with their takes, I've been debating if there is any value to me speaking up outside of tags in reblogs from other folks.

To be honest, I'm still a little unsure if there is: I'm not directly involved in any of this, I feel like some of what I have to say has already been said, and I feel like I might be inserting myself into something I could more or less let pass by me. But I have a lot of friends who have been directly affected by this, and a common sentiment seems to be "Thank you for sharing. You're not alone."

So maybe my two cents can also help alleviate someone's pain or sense of isolation.

In spite of the current climate, I have actually found Cyberpunk on the whole to be one of the most chill fandoms I've ever been a part of. (Granted, weathering the Dragon Age fandom circa 2013-2015 might cloud my judgment a little here.) Although to be real: I'm also probably lucky that my blorbo of choice wasn't ~*claimed*~ by anyone, which has allowed me to create and vibe in peace.

But I will say when I "joined" last summer/fall, when I was basically a loner doing my thing, before I even knew most of my CP friends or any cliques or spilled tea, I got Bad Vibes™️ from certain parties pretty quickly. I generally prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt, sometimes at the expense of ignoring my gut instincts, but eventually, I felt like first impressions were accurate and I have maintained my distance.

I've participated in online fandom communities for over 20 years--While every fandom will have its unique flavor of drama, you eventually start to spot the troublemakers from a mile away. People who can't share their toys but still expect to be a part of a broader community, people who surround themselves with yes-men, people who crave validation to an unhealthy extent, people who insist their friends like and dislike the same community members they do, people who prey on other fans who are susceptible to manipulation, etc.

I felt relatively safe from all this behavior: I know what I like and what I'm about, I'm confident in my niche, and I met some really cool people I'm happy and honored to call my friends now. But I noticed over the past few months that almost every single one of them had a story about being wronged one way or another by this particular group. I also noticed that in spite of the hold this group seemed to have over fandom, a lot of people, directly affected or not, seemed to share a lot of the same concerns I had just weeks into the fandom. But everyone was afraid to say anything.

And I think to some extent, for good reason: callout posts and going public about ~*fandom drama*~ is a whole ass thing. They can often make things worse, they can often further divide a community, they almost always put the person doing the calling out under a microscope. Victims will have their valid concerns and legitimate experiences with harassment be dismissed as "clout chasing" or "just being jealous" while the perpetrators often just double-down on their behavior. It's scary and can feel futile to speak up and disrupt the status quo, even if the status quo sucks.

People will also be told "this should be handled privately." I do think a lot of things can and should be resolved privately, and I generally advocate this as a first step over going directly to callout posts. However, this requires both parties to have an investment in reaching some kind of reconciliation--I get the sense that this point has long passed. (Incidentally, it also requires being able to talk to someone privately, which can't be done if you block 80% of the community. It's pretty disingenuous of a person to say "this should have been handled privately" if they've removed that as an option.)

The exact goal of a callout post can also be muddied. Toxic in its own way, even. Yes, sometimes it is absolutely about trying to run people out of fandom. I can't honestly say I've never thought "this community would be better off without so-and-so." I have. I've probably said it, too. But at my core, I also genuinely believe in people having an opportunity to learn from their mistakes and be better. I don't think people who have been wronged need to stick around for that personal journey and I think a part of that journey might require taking a step back from a community, but I do understand the discomfort of witnessing (or experiencing) what feels like mass ostracization and retribution.

But in this particular situation, I think the greatest takeaway is that people who felt isolated are realizing they are not. The fact that so many people have come forward to share experiences that have been burdening them for months I think speaks volumes to the damage that has been done here. I also think trying to reduce this hurt and trauma to "clout chasing" or "being jealous" is not only reductive but perpetuates this harm.

And the last thing I'm going to say about this is really more criticism of CDPR than the fandom, but I feel it's still relevant since the two are rather entwined at this point.

Since witnessing the way David Gaider's behavior with fans contributed to a lot of wank in the Dragon Age fandom ten years ago, I have felt very strongly that it's important for the well-being of both parties to maintain a certain distance.

This isn't to say that they shouldn't interact at all or that there shouldn't any kind of community outreach--I have personally done some very cool things, like going to E3 (back when that was still a thing), as a result of an excellent community program from another franchise--But devs not on the community side (who are probably better equipped to handle things like the effects of parasocial relationships) can really run the risk of disrupting the already fragile ecosystem of a fandom, even with the best of intentions. I believe that has happened to an extent here as well, and I would just caution devs and fans alike about respecting the need for some boundaries.

I don't really have a clever little summation for this, so I'm just going to end with a screenshot of my Duolingo lesson for today being far too relevant because I honestly got a good laugh out of it:

[cyarikashakira]

Chimichangas

A/N: This is my first time writing a fanfic. I am super nervous but I have an overabundance of love for Joaquin Torres so I had to put it somewhere. I'm doing @caplanbuckybarnes's summer writing challenge.

Summary: Falling in love at the supermarket wasn’t on your to-do list today, yet here you were snatching looks at a cute stranger.

Warnings: (I don't know if these count as warnings) GN!Reader, No Y/N, Joaquin Torres is an absolute cutie pie!

‘They were gone. All of them.’ I thought as I rummaged through the wrongfully stocked freezer. A sniffle escaped, then two, which was followed by a full on wail.

“Who the hell put the Steak and Cheese chimichangas where the Chicken and Cheese chimichangas goes!?”

I slammed the freezer door and rested my head on it and placed my hand on the cold glass.

Casual shoppers and workers tiptoed around me while I grumbled to myself in annoyance. I just wanted my comfort food.

A full on breakdown in the middle of a grocery store and I gave no fucks. A tap on my shoulder and I whirled around ready to light up the poor soul who decided to bother me.

“What do you want?” I wiped the tears from my face with a growl. Giant innocent eyes looked at me in shock as I grimaced at him.

“Hi - um, can I help you?” He bravely pointed at his name tag which said ‘Joaquin’ with the Walmart name above

“Sure~ can you just point me towards the person who decided to sleep on the job and stock the wrong chimichangas in the wrong spot? I just wanna have a little chat.” I said with a fake smile on my face.

“Th-that would be me.” He gulped and pointed over his shoulder towards the stocking material behind him.

You peeked around him and just glared.

“So it was you. You have been declared as my arch nemesis. Where are the chicken and cheese chimichangas?”

“They are out of stock. But we can call you when they are back in stock.”

The air suddenly became tense.

“...Believe it or not, they already have my number because I buy them so often. It is Tuesday and it’s 8:30. They are always stocked at 8pm on Tuesday.” I looked down at my watch to double check the time. I crossed my arms ready to take my frustrations out on the worker.

“We are going to have to call some people.” He said plainly.

“What?” My head tilted to the side in confusion.

“For this chimichanga shortage. We need to call some people.” His smile got bigger as he continued talking.

“Chimi..changa shortage? If they are going to fix my day then you better call them.”

“I’m kidding..”

“Oh.” I let out a nervous laugh and made a face.

He ran a hand through his fluffy black curls and huffed. I took a look at his face, he was nervous.

“...Are you new?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“To the stock things department, yes. This grocery store, no. I’m so sorry that I stocked it wrong but thank you for pointing it out for me.”

I immediately felt bad because I realized that I was being a dick over some food.

“I’m so sorry. I’m just having a bad day. It was just a complete shit show. My cat got sick, my car is on it’s last leg and my boss is on my ass and I ran out of chimichangas and forgot to restock my fridge so here I am today - “

I rambled on and on.

“Hey, it’s okay. We all have bad days. I thought this was about to be a bad day for me also because you were upset at me.”

“I’m sorry again. I’ll live without them. I should go home before I embarrass myself even more.”

I lowered my head now feeling shy and more aware of my surroundings.

“Before you go, I think I have something that will make your day a little better. Follow me.” He turned swiftly and started walking away.

“Uh, no. I’ve burdened you enough today, sir.”

He stopped and turned to face me again. A smile formed on his face. Were those dimples always there?

“Come on. I’m just taking you to a person who can solve your problems.”

“Oh o-okay.”

I followed behind Joaquin towards the front of the grocery store. He stopped in front of the deli section and tapped a hand on the counter to alert the workers.

“Hey~ is Margie in today?” He said sweetly to the teenage girl who could barely see over the huge counter.

“Yeah Curly, she’s in the back. Let me go get her.” She ran to the back and pushed the double doors with force.

I looked at Joaquin with furrowed brows and pursed lips.

“Why do they call you Curly?” A small smirk appeared on my face. He blushed and his hand went to his hair once again.

“My hair. It is how everyone finds me and the fact that I’m tall. Everyone has a nickname here. We are as much a family as capitalism will allow us to be. Margie is just...wait until you see her.”

The shock of blue hair caught my peripheral and I expected to see a teenager. No. A tall lady who was on enough to be my mama strolled up to the counter with a huge smile on her face.

“What can I do for ya, Curly Quin?” Her accent drawled as she leaned against the display case.

“We have a situation. Apparently, I suck at my job and a certain someone had an entire meltdown in the middle of the freezer aisle because they are having a bad day like it was my fault. I’m pretty sure they want to get me fired but I’m too cute for that, right? So we need a solution to their chimichanga problem.” He sarcastically and over exaggeratedly explained the situation to Margie and his smile got wider as he went on.

“So Grilled Cheese over here wants a chimichanga? How is that my problem?” Margie planted her eyes on me and I felt like I swallowed my heart.

For an old lady, her look was intense.

“I need the goods. The family secret, the whole enchilada, you get where I’m going with this. I’ll finally bring you back your book that you let me borrow when I first started working here.” Joaquin slapped on the puppy dog eyes and Margie rolled hers.

“I’ll believe it when I see it. That was a year ago. I’m never getting that book back and you know it. I’ll be back for you and Meltdown over here, assuming that is you.” She gave a small smile and moved to go towards the back doors. “Give me a sec.”

As soon as she disappeared, I face palmed and groaned.

“You guys are going to make fun of me forever, aren’t you?” I looked at him in despair.

“Oh yeah, you know it. Welcome to making history.” He smiled towards me, flashing a dimple.

“Is there a way that I can make everyone forget about this? I will pay you guys off. I promise. Just forget everything that happened here today.” I waved my hands in circular motions like I was casting a spell, earning odd looks from everyone around.

He laughed for the first time that night.

“It’s not every day a grown up has a total fit like a toddler. This has made my day and probably my whole week.”

I groaned again and stomped my foot in annoyance, ready to snap at him.

The back doors flew open and a brown paper bag was thrown in my direction. Joaquin and I fumbled to catch it at the same time and we butted heads.

“Good thing you knocked some sense into each other so I didn’t have to. Get out of here kids, your chimichanga problem is solved.” Margie smiled.

I opened the steaming paper bag and started crying.

“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” I started bouncing up and down with joy. I wrapped my arms around Joaquin and pulled him into a tight hug, crying on his shirt.

“No problem, I can’t breathe, please..let..go..” He said dramatically.

I immediately let go and cleaned my face putting on a huge smile. He took a deep breath and put his hand on his chest.

“You guys are the best and I am so sorry for taking my frustrations out on you. I really hope you can forgive me at some point.”

“Already forgiven. I just always want to do something positive with my day and make others smile. It’s all in a day’s work.”

“I don’t know how to thank you guys enough for the chimichangas.” I held the bag close to my heart, grinning widely.

“Go home and eat them. That’s thanks enough.” Margie deadpanned.

Oh. She was still there.

“Yes ma’am. Have a good night. Thank you for everything!” I waved goodbye to her.

“Don’t mention it kid.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow Margie!” He said to her.

She waved us off and we were on our way to the front doors of the store. We stopped just before the entrance, triggering the doors to automatically open. We were blocking the exit and people started going around us.

“I guess this is goodbye? Until I come in to restock my freezer again.” I said glumly, holding out my hand towards him to shake his hand.

“I guess so.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, placing it in my hand.

Question marks filled my brain as I looked down at his phone in my hand. He shyly placed his hand on the back of his neck.

“I told you whenever we restocked, I would give you a call so.. I would need your number for that.”

“Oh. But they already have my numb- Oh. Okay. Oh. Oh um, of course uh..”

I stuck my tongue out in concentration as I typed my name and number into his phone and handed it back to him.

“There you go. I uh, look forward to your call for whenever the chimichangas are back in stock.”

“Of course. I’m just doing my job. If they aren’t in stock and I’m off of work, can I still call you?”

My brain short circuited and I blinked rapidly at him. He was smooth. Toooo smooth. I studied his face for a joke.

“You aren’t joking with me, are you?” I put my hands on my hips.

“Nope, not one bit. Are you okay?” He questioned. I was sure smoke was coming out of my ears at this point.

“Uh, yeah. I’m fine. Just tired, it’s been a long day. I should get going.” I looked off towards the cars in the parking lot.

“It was nice to meet you. I’m sorry about your chimichangas and for my poor stocking skills.” He apologized sincerely.

“It was nice to meet you too, Joaquin. Thank you for everything. Am I allowed to hug you again?”

His brown eyes lit up and he furiously nodded. I wrapped my arms around him and he did the same to me. We let go as quickly as we started.

“I’ll see you around, Grilled Cheese.” He gave a two finger wave towards me and started walking backwards.

“Likewise, Joaquin Phoenix.” I started walking in the other direction.

“Haha. So original! It’s actually Falcon!” He shouted.

“What?” I stopped and turned back towards him but he was already gone.

I shrugged and walked towards my car. I opened the door and climbed inside, tossed the bag of chimichangas in the passenger seat and rested my head on the steering wheel. I released a huge sigh while lifting my head, started my car and began driving home. The street lights blurred past me on my drive home. My body was on autopilot as I opened the door, kicked my shoes off and sat on the couch next to my roommate with my bag of chimichangas.

I took a bite and immediately frowned.

‘Damn it. Steak and Cheese strikes again.’ I started laughing and shaking my head, dropping the chimichanga back in the bag.

“What is your problem?” My roommate said staring at the tv, not concerned to turn their head towards my hysterics.

“Nothing. I just had a meltdown in a freezer aisle and I think I fell in love with a stocker who is bad at his job.” I leaned back against the cushion of the couch and sighed dreamily.

“....no offense but you aren’t allowed to go to the store unsupervised ever again. You got issues...”

My phone began to ring and I just stared at the unknown number before answering.

“H-hello?” I stuttered.

“You will never guess what we just got in stock.” A light voice filled with laughter said over the phone. A huge smile formed on my face and I was booking it out of the door and yelled a quick bye to my roommate.

“I’m on my way.”

I hope you guys enjoyed this. I tried my best :)

[mrstaeminlee]

Mission Complete Ch. 5

You had two goals in life. One: Complete your squad training without dying. Two: Fuck Levi Ackerman

Pairings: Levi/f!reader

Warnings: Swearing, eventual smut, lmk if I need to add anything~

You wouldn't consider yourself a believer in God; you always attributed your good luck to just that with a touch of hard work and a stubborn as hell mindset; yet somehow you found yourself thanking whatever higher power existed as you sat down. By some fucking miracle you had convinced Levi to join you at the bar where you were currently nursing your fourth glass of wine. You weren't completely trashed, but you had definitely forgotten the effect that wine had on you and you were feeling bold as fuck.

"So Cap, what's the plan from here?"

Levi rolled his eyes, taking a long swig from his own glass. He'd opted for whiskey, because 'that shit you're drinking tastes like rotten ass'. "I've told you at least three times since we got here you idiot, once your alcoholic ass drags itself to bed we'll wake up at first light and begin the walk back to camp and hope your horse is smarter than you and ran back to camp. If not, we're fucked."

You pouted. "The fuck I am."

He raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

You sighed. At this point, you were tired, you were wet -still not in an enjoyable fashion although you had mostly dried off by now-, you were tired, and you were also considerably tipsy next to your captain who also happened to be the subject of each and every one of your graphic sexual fantasies over the past year. In other words, you didn't give one single fuck. "Cap, can I completely honest with you?"

"Aren't you already?"

"Not exactly. Your second in command is in desperate need of a good fucking, and soon."

Levi chuckled, leaning back in his chair. He looked delectable dressed in his casual clothes, he was wearing black pants that fit nice and snug against those juicy ass thighs, and you were certain that the top two buttons of his white shirt had been buttoned when you walked into the bar. "Is that so? What are you, fifteen?"

"I'll have you know that I'm a spritely young twenty eight year old, thank you very much."

The captain scoffed, finishing off his glass and waving to the barmaid for refills for the both of you. "That's even more pitiful. You should consider having some actual priorities instead of spending your time fantasizing about such a filthy activity."

You had just finished taking a long swig from your glass when all of a sudden that vital, precious information Christa had let slip decided to waltz its way back into your brain, and before you could stop it a big, stupid smile spread across your face. Taking another drink as to not alarm the captain, you decided now was as good a time as any to have a little bit of fun. "Aw come on. Even a clean freak like you has to appreciate a good lay every now and then. Sure, things can get a little hot and dirty, but don't you think it's worth it?" Your voice dripped down to almost a purr at the end, and you felt a delicious shiver run up your arms at the way Levi began to look mildly uncomfortable.

His silence only fueled your drunken bravery and you dared to scoot a little bit closer, resting your arm along the table and even being so bold as to make sure your breasts were nice and pushed up against the table. "Don't get shy now, cap, you don't have to keep secrets from me," you cooed, mirth making your body feel weightless as he desperately downed the rest of his drink while waving for yet another refill. How many had he had now, six? Seven? Surely he would be feeling something by now. "You're downing that whiskey like water, you sure the bar has enough stocked to keep you satisfied?"

Levi shrugged, raising his eyebrows in thanks as more drinks were placed in front of you two. "I've told you a million times, you know I hate that name. And it takes a lot more than a few glasses of whiskey to get me drunk. You, on the other hand, look like you've about had enough," he tried to make his voice seem stern, but it was pretty fucking hard looking at that flushed face and those tits just begging to burst out of that shirt. It didn't help that he'd plowed through eight glasses of whiskey trying to distract himself, and they had chosen this precise moment to hit him with their full effects.

"Then what should I call you then? Captain just sounds boooooooring."

You grinned then, downing the last of your wine. "Am I cool enough to call you by just your name? Levi?" You tested his name on your tongue, expecting it to taste different by speaking it in front of him. You licked your lips as if to savor the taste. "Leeeeeviiiii," you repeated slowly, giggling and bringing a hand up to cover your mouth.

Levi visibly straightened the moment you said his name, cursing himself for finishing his drink as he now had nothing to cover the pathetic cough that left his throat. He tried to ignore the flush that warmed its way up his neck, the way your name sounded from your lips curling in his ears and giving him goosebumps. He cleared his throat once more, trying to regain his sense of dignity before he did something that he knew he wouldn't regret, but also probably would.

"Come on, you go cool off outside while I pay the tab, it's getting late and we need to sleep this off before we head back."

You clumsily threw your bag over your shoulder, humming a made up tune as you made your way outside. The air was cold but the alcohol dulled your discomfort. You took a look around the block, it was dark and empty, with almost everyone in bed by now. You had no idea what time it was but based on the fact that the sky was almost pitch black you surmised you two had spent quite a bit of time drinking. You were jolted out of your daydreaming by Levi suddenly appearing beside you, rolling his eyes.

"Tch. You dumbass. Your nose is bright pink, why didn't you bring a jacket? You're going to die if you don't start taking better care of yourself," he chided, sliding off his own black jacket and all but throwing it at you.

You greedily slipped your arms into it, your thirst returning with a vengeance as you reveled in the fact that you were wearing Levi's jacket. His scent filled your nostrils, the warmth from his body that clung to the jacket blanketing your skin and in that moment you really did feel like a fifteen year old girl because you swore your heart had been beating at a normal pace just a second ago. "Well I never took you to be such a gentleman Mr. Ackerman," you quipped, mimicking the way you heard the rich people within the walls talk. Thankful for being able to blame your pink cheeks on the cold, you let the wine control your actions as you linked your arms with his, giggling again at his surprised grunt.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Why, I'm allowing you to escort me to my sleeping quarters of course!" You announced, taking note that he had made no attempt to unlink your arms. You walked in a comfortable silence the short walk to the hotel, giving a hearty salute to the young man at the desk. You begrudgingly pulled away when he stopped in front of your room, pausing for a moment before reaching to slip his jacket off your shoulders.

"Don't."

You halted for a moment, meeting his eyes. "Don't what?"

You were beginning to feel surprisingly sober now.

Levi awkwardly cleared his throat again, and you didn't even have the heart to tease him about it. "Th-The jacket," your eyes widened at his voice. Did the great Captain Levi just stutter? "Just keep it for now. You can wear it on the way back and give it to me when we return to headquarters," he felt another wave of heat creep up his neck and he clenched his jaw. "B-Besides, it's filthy now, don't give it back until you've cleaned it properly." Jesus Christ since when did he fucking stutter all the time?

You stayed quiet, your hands lowering themselves to rest at your sides.

You were drunk.

You felt completely sober.

You took in his eyes, his face, his body.

Before you could talk yourself out of it you reached forward, grabbing his hand in yours, and you both sucked in a breath at the feeling of your skin finally touching.

You kept your eyes trained on his, wondering where you had found the courage to muster up the words about to leave your mouth.

"Come inside, Levi."

tags: @levisbebe, @dannylothbrok, @sueshiishell, @anackermangirl, @ackermanluvr

[lochrannn]

@pepperf and I challanged each other to three Whumptober fics. Here’s my first contribution

No. 1 - ALL TRUSSED UP AND STILL NOWHERE TO GO “You have to let go” | barbed wire | bound

Warnings: Canon-typical Violence

Tags: Hurt/Comfort; Canon-Typical Violence; Injury; Implied/Referenced Torture

Relationshipts: Diego Hargreeves/Lila Pitts; Diego Hargreeves/Hargreeves Siblings

Characters: Diego Hargreeves; Lila Pitts; Five Hargreeves; Allison Hargreeve; Klaus Hargreeves; Hargreeves Siblings

Summary: Stuck in an unfamiliar 2019 the Hargreeves have struck an uneasy truce with Reginald and his Sparrows until Diego and Five are summond to the academy to identify an intruder who was captured by their father while looking for them.

They’ve struck an uneasy truce with Reginald and the Sparrows.

It’s caused no small amount of strain amongst the siblings. Fuck, Diego can’t say he’s in anyway pleased about it himself, he was probably the one who argued the hardest against it, but it’s not like he can’t understand Five’s logical pragmatism either.

There is no immediate benefit and only very real danger to fully antagonizing the most powerful group of people in a place where the original six Hargreeves siblings (Diego is confused himself sometimes about how to refer to all of them) have no resources, no allies, and no history to speak of.

They already had a scuffle with the Sparrows when they first arrived, and maybe if they hadn’t been exhausted and confused and completely overwhelmed to see not-Ben in the Sparrow academy uniform they might have had even a sliver of a chance. But as it stood then, they were very quickly overpowered and the only thing that saved them was Five’s ability to compartmentalize.

Somehow Five convinced Reginald to let them leave the mansion. Whether their father genuinely doesn’t think they are a real threat to his world and his timeline is entirely unclear, but Diego and his siblings know that they have been free to move about the city and stay at a motel on the outskirts only because Hargreeves is letting them. If and when he decides that he can’t risk leaving them alone any longer, they will be in real trouble.

They are all sat around the bedroom Allison is sharing with Vanya, arguing over how to continue, Five firm on his stance that his siblings need to sit on their asses until he is done calculating how he can bring them back to their original timeline (nobody wants to say out loud what they all know to be the silent continuation of that phrase - if it even still exists), while Diego thinks Five can juggle his silly little numbers, but in the meantime they should try and establish just exactly how dangerou the Sparrows are and if they should actually take the opportunity they’ve been given to protect the city from their father’s twisted sense of justice.

Allison, unsurprisingly, is with Five, and considering that she has lost the most in their original timeline, Diego can’t actually blame her for it.

To his utter surprise, he thinks Luther might actually be coming around to his point of view. Vanya is trying to find a compromise and though Diego has started appreciating her need for harmony, right now he really wishes she would stay the fuck out of it.

Klaus is sitting by the cracked window, intermittently taking drags of his cigarette and watching the discussion, but clearly uninterested in taking part.

Some part of Diego is worried about him, but he neither knows how to approach Klaus about how he’s feeling, nor does he think he has the time to stop and deal with his brother’s grief. It can wait till later, he tells himself.

“... you imbecile!” Five is shouting at Diego, the two of them squaring off in the middle of the room, Five’s lack of height doing nothing to make him any less ferocious, “If we draw dad’s attention like that he might figure out that we’re trying to restore our own timeline. And I might not know the old man that well, but he’s not an idiot. He wouldn’t risk the possibility that us trying to restore our own timeline could destroy his. He might not have killed us yet, but I have no doubt he will if he thinks we might bring about the end of his world.”

That stops Diego for a moment, he hasn’t thought of the fact that that could be a genuine risk. He doesn’t know how to feel about that, but he catches a glimpse of Allison out of the corner of his eye, the way her eyes are big and bright, her lips pursed, and her arms are crossed so tightly it almost looks like she’s physically trying to hold herself together, and he decides that that is another thing to think about at a later stage, or hopefully never.

Diego is just about to respond to Five when there is a knock outside.

It’s not particularly loud, but it isn’t gentle either and they all freeze and stare at the door.

Then there is a flurry of hand signals going around and it doesn’t seem like they are really communicating anything through them, except that nobody is quite certain what the best course of action is, and in the end Allison, who is the closest to the door, rolls her eyes, untangles herself, and turns around to open the door a crack.

Diego can’t see who it is but he can tell by the way Allison tenses and squares her shoulders, that it’s not a welcome guest. It would have been highly unlikely anyway, it’s not like they know anybody good in this place.

“What do you want?” Allison says. Her tone is cold and razor sharp. She doesn’t need the Rumor to be commanding even when asking a question.

“My father would like to talk to your brothers,” a man’s raspy voice responds.

“Yeah, well, why didn’t your father come here to talk to them, then?” Allison doesn’t budge an inch and continues blocking the door with a foot behind it so it can’t just be shoved open.

“My father is a very busy man, Allison, he doesn’t have the time to trudge all the way out here,” the man on the other side of the door responds, clearly one of the Sparrows, and Diego can see Allison's knuckles go white where she has her hand on the doorframe at the casual use of her name.

“We’re a little busy, too, right now, so if Hargreeves wants to talk to any of us…” Allison begins but then Five interrupts her and calls out from where he’s stood next to Diego in the middle of the room, “Who does he want to talk to?”

There’s a beat in which Allison starts fidgeting by the door, clearly as enraged with her brother now as with the man standing outside the motel room. Then she pushes the door open far enough to reveal a man that Diego recognizes as the Sparrow with the scarred up face, but Allison doesn’t let go of the door, making sure to signal that he is not coming in, even if she’s letting him talk to the rest of the Hargreeves.

“You,” the man says in an even voice, pointing at Five, then shifting his finger just a little to point at Diego next, “and him.”

-

They are greeted in the entrance hall of the Sparrow Academy by a Pogo that looks like the butler/teacher/guardian they grew up with but who has only the slightest hint of recognition in his eyes when he looks at Five, but none whatsoever when he looks at Diego.

He takes them to the elevator that they were never allowed to go near when they were children and presses a combination of buttons that makes the contraption descend.

When they stop and Pogo opens the grate, Diego realizes that at least they haven’t arrived at the floor with an anechoic chamber at the end, but it doesn’t make him feel any less nervous about being in the Academy’s basement. They have nowhere to run.

And the way their father is standing halfway down the hall shrouded in darkened shadows certainly also doesn’t help. On the contrary, it makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

“At last you’re here,” Reginald says, his voice not particularly loud, but it echoes off the empty walls and is dripping with sarcasm, “I haven’t got all day. Pogo, tell Number Four that I expect him to bring our honoured guests here in the fastest fashion possible, if I ever ask him to retrieve someone again.”

Diego and Five give each other a look and clearly silently agree that apparently they're expected to follow Hargreeves when their not-quite father turns on his heels and starts marching down the hall, Pogo bringing up the rear.

“We have had an intrusion into the Academy last night. But fear not, with only a very small amount of difficulty, we were able to subdue and capture this interloper. However, though we applied our most thorough interrogation methods, we haven’t yet been able to establish her identity,” Reginald declares grandly and Diego feels his blood run cold in horror.

“That being said,” Hargreeves continues, voice still clipped and impassive as he opens a heavy metal door and ushers in Five, Diego, and Pogo, “Before she started putting up a fight, she seemed to be under the impression she might find you here!”

Hargreeves is looking at him expectantly, but Diego is taking no notice of him, because they have walked into a cold, tiled room, with very sparse furniture, at the center of which is a large metal chair.

Handcuffed to the chair’s arms is Lila, looking badly beaten up and possibly unconscious, head lolling on her chest, and Diego can see a white piece of cloth tied as a gag around the back of her head that’s highlighting even more how messy her hair looks.

Diego sees red and three things happen at once.

He wants to call out to her and go to her and get her out of here, but all he manages is to stammer, “Luh-” before the word gets stuck in his throat and as he takes a step towards her, all of a sudden, everything stops.

Irrationally, Diego has the sudden burning urge to suck in a breath, despite the fact that he doesn’t actually need to and also he realizes that even though it feels like even the air around him has gone completely still, he has no actual trouble breathing.

And then he feels the hand grabbing his wrist and when he looks down at it, he sees that Five is holding on to him with fingers that are glowing blue and an expression on his face that is split between concentrated, enraged, and in pain.

“What the fuck?” Diego says, staring around them at the way everything suddenly seems like it’s two dimensional, the complete and utter lack of any movement flattening the world around him weirdly.

“I know you are about to do something really fucking stupid, Diego, but I need you to stop and think for a second,” Five says. He sounds a little out of breath and strained.

“Have you stopped time?” Diego almost shouts, incredulous.

“Yes, but I won’t be able to hold onto this for very long so I need you to understand that there’s nothing we can do to help her right now!”

Five almost tips forward at the force with which Diego pulls his arm free from his grip. He’d like to punch the little twerp for saying something so aggravating, but he already looks like he’s standing on shaky legs, so Diego balls his hands into fists in frustration and stares his oldest brother down.

“Don’t be so dramatic, idiot! We’ll come back for her, okay? But for now, we can’t let dad know that we know who she is or give him any information about her. What do you think he’s going to do if he finds out about the Commission? It’s too dangerous for us. And I presume for Lila, too. So, Diego, I need you to let this go!”

Five barely finishes his sentence when everything starts up again.

It feels like a tidal wave crashes in on him as air begins flowing around him again and low humming noises that he would not have noticed before assault his senses.

His father is saying something but Diego can’t hear what it is because Lila, apparently not unconscious, lifts her head and looks right at him.

Diego’s chest feels like someone has cracked it open and his heart has fallen out.

There are spots of red on the gag in her mouth, and dried blood is running from the corner of her mouth down her chin. Her lip is split but that’s not where the blood is coming from, and the top of one of her cheekbones is bruised red and purple and looks slightly swollen.

He doesn’t quite know how he sees it, because he can’t actually tear his eyes away from hers, but he registers that her knuckles are bloodied and bruised and he can guess that the rest of her body is no better but it’s covered in a long sleeved black top and matching pants. Her feet are bare, though.

Even if he wanted to ignore Five’s instructions, he’s not sure he could make his limbs move to go towards her, rooted to the spot by the intensity of Lila’s eyes on him, as she struggles against the cuffs holding her arms and legs to the chair. Her shouts and screams are muffled by the gag, but Diego still thinks he can hear her calling his name, begging him to help her.

He feels sick.

He is staring at Lila and is willing her to use Five’s powers to teleport out of there. He doesn’t even care if she disappears again, as long as she gets away from these ruthless so-called superheroes and his dangerous father. Diego realizes at that moment that some part of him never actually expected to see her again. He thinks he could live with her disappearing for good this time, if only it means that she’s no longer here, in his psychopathic father’s torture chamber, getting interrogated because she made the mistake to come after him.

“She was quite the handful,” Reginald explains, “it seems she has powers of her own. But I have injected her with a mild sedative of my own design that will continue to suppress her powers until we have decided what to do with her.”

Diego’s eyes flit from his father back to Lila and he can feel his heart simultaneously hammering in his throat and the pit of his stomach. His ears are ringing. And once again he is unable to protect someone who is so important to him, like Eudora, like Mom, and in that moment he can feel his eyes stinging with tears that he has to hold back if they don’t want to tip their father off.

“Well, can’t say I’ve seen this woman before, I wouldn’t know why she was asking for us,” Five says, his tone so casual that Diego would almost believe him if he didn’t know it was a complete lie.

“Diego?” Five turns to him, one eyebrow quirked up in question.

His tongue is sticking to the roof of his mouth and his throat is seizing up completely. And all he can do is watch Lila struggling, stare her down, and try as best as he can to communicate to her that this is not real, that they will come back for her, that he made her a promise of family and that they won’t leave her behind.

“Apparently he doesn’t know who she is either.” Five has gotten impatient next to him, waves a hand in what seems to be half a shrug and also half a non-verbal see? and turns back to Reginald.

“If that’s all, I think we’d best be getting back to our siblings. You understand, we’re still reeling a little from arriving in this very unrecognizable time.”

Five doesn’t wait for an answer, instead he turns around towards the door, grabs Diego by the elbow and the last thing he sees as he’s dragged out towards the elevator by his much smaller brother, is Lila beginning to struggle frantically and his father’s very skeptical look.

For some incomprehensible reason they aren’t stopped from leaving the mansion and they only get to round the first corner before Diego doubles over, hands on his knees, and dry heaves into the gutter.

-

Five wants them to wait another day before they go back to the academy to grab Lila as he expects the Sparrows to be on high alert after their visit today, but Diego explains in no uncertain terms that he is going back tonight, with or without his siblings’ help, and even Allison backs him up when she hears about the obvious signs of torture.

The plan is that Diego, Allison, and Five, the best trained at stealth combat out of all of them, go to the mansion, while Luther, Klaus, and Vanya cause a distraction in a different part of the city, hoping to create at least a small window where some or all of the Sparrows are out of the house.

That actually works significantly better than any of them could have expected. Or Reginald knows they’re coming and doesn’t care, and right now, neither does Diego, because for some reason Five blinks into the mansion and only a minute later blinks back out into the alley that they are hiding in, just about able to support a very unconscious Lila for long enough to set her halfway gently down onto the dirty ground.

Diego is by their side in a flash, hands nervously hovering over her body, eventually deciding on supporting her head and stroking the hair out of her slack face.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! What did he do to her?” he’s whispering frantically, not actually expecting an answer, but Five pipes up and says, “Oh yeah, that was me.”

Diego freezes and then slowly turns to look up at his brother, thinking he must have misheard.

“What’d you say?” he asks, deliberately making his question sound as threatening as possible, though Allison’s hand that lands heavily on his shoulder does take a little bit of the wind out of his sails.

“Diego, we have no idea why she came here. For all we know she came to finish the job and kill us all -” Diego opens his mouth to protest, but Five just holds up a hand and maybe because Allison squeezes hers on his shoulder, half in warning and half in support, he lets Five finish.

“I just want to make sure we know what we're dealing with and that we’re properly prepared for whatever that might be.”

Diego can actually see the logic in that, it’s not like he hasn’t got good reasons to distrust Lila, but it still doesn’t sit right with him, not after the promise they all made.

So he huffs in annoyance as he snakes his arms under her knees and shoulders and lifts her up easily, maneuvering her until her head is lying against his shoulder, gentle breath tickling his neck, and he is struck by how quickly he’s forgotten how small and skinny she really is with how energetic and forceful she is when awake.

Diego thinks he doesn’t ever want to see her this vulnerable again, but nevertheless the feel of her body against his is an instant comfort for his nerves that have been pulled taut since he first laid eyes on her this afternoon.

-

Diego is livid with his siblings as he paces the tiny floor space in the motel room.

It’s just him and Klaus and Lila, still unconscious, lying on the bed, both wrists cuffed to the frame.

Five’s idea again. All of the siblings whose powers Lila could use to escape have taken their leave while Klaus has been left in charge of the key to the cuffs, because Diego can apparently not be trusted with them. And Five seems to believe Diego wouldn’t go through Klaus to get to them.

He’s thinking for probably the thirtieth time in about as many minutes that he might just like to prove Five wrong on that one, when Lila begins to stir and mumble incoherently.

Klaus, who’s been doing an impressive job of ignoring Diego’s hyperactive fury, stubs out his cigarette and glides over to the foot of the bed where Diego is standing, frozen to the spot, watching Lila come around.

“You fucker!” she says, finally, when she’s managed to pull herself half upright against the headboard where the cuffs are also attached to the decorative cut-outs in the wood.

Diego stares at her, now completely incapable of saying anything.

“You left me to rot in that fucking torture chamber!” she shouts at him then, thrusting her torso forwards as far as she can go to put more force behind her accusation.

That jolts Diego into action and he tries to rush out an explanation when Klaus just talks over him, and Diego is really beginning to resent that, but his brother seems completely unbothered.

“Are you here to murder us, missy?” Klaus asks in the voice of a not particularly strict school matron.

“I fucking might, now! All that talk about family and then you abandon me to those psychopaths! I know you have daddy issues, but I didn’t know you have no fucking spine when it comes to that monster!” She's jangling the cuffs aggressively and Diego’s stomach twists, both at her words but also at how the cold metal is digging into the already reddened skin at her wrists.

“So you’re not here to kill us?” Klaus tries again and it’s almost like he’s cut Lila’s strings with his perfectly even, practically friendly question.

She falls back against the headboard, turns her head away from them, deflated, and says quietly, “no.”

“You wanna hurt any of us?” Klaus adds.

“Yeah, I really do, but I won’t,” Lila grumbles off to the side, clearly more drained than she first let on.

“Wunderbar!” Klaus exclaims and then tosses the key to the handcuffs up in the air and when Diego manages to catch them, only fumbling a little, because this is not what he expected, Klaus is already halfway to the door.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” he shouts over his shoulder as he leaves and slams the door shut behind him and after all of his angry and frantic struggle to get Lila back to their motel and have her wake up, Diego wishes Klaus hadn’t left.

Because, what’s he supposed to do now?

He’s given a clue when Lila shifts, doesn’t look at him, but the motion makes her cuffs clatter against the bed and Diego decides that whatever else he needs to do, the first thing is to let her out of the handcuffs.

He makes his way around the bed, sits down on the edge and leans over her to unlock the cuffs.

Lila doesn’t look at him, just pulls her arms back down now that she has her full motion and cradles her hands against her chest protectively.

Diego notices that her eyes are shining but she’s not blinking very much, probably holding back tears and now he knows even less what he’s supposed to say.

On instinct he thinks that if he can’t talk about things, maybe there’s at least something more immediate he can fix and he gently pulls her hands away from her to inspect her wrists.

Lila lets him, but still doesn’t really acknowledge him.

The skin there is reddened but doesn’t look raw, so Diego rubs it carefully with his thumbs and when Lila flinches he sets her hands into her lap, just glad that she’s not quite so curled up into herself anymore.

He takes a look at her face, they haven’t yet taken care of the cuts and bruising on her cheek and lip. There’s even still the line of dried blood down the side of her mouth.

Momentarily grateful that that gives him something to do, Diego gets up and swiftly makes his way to the small bathroom. He picks up one of the fresh white towels and runs it under lukewarm water and then grabs their meager first aid supplies on his way back into the room.

When he comes back in, Lila is busy cleaning dirt - probably dried blood - out from under her fingernails, but she looks up at him and while it had bothered him before that she was avoiding his eyes, he now feels like the skin on his entire body is heating up as she won’t look away.

Diego sits back down on the side of the bed and half expects her to take the wetted towel and scrub her face with it herself, but instead she is just waiting, chin tilted up a tiny bit, as if in challenge.

Never one to back down, he nods, not quite sure what he’s agreeing with, and lifts the towel up to her face to gingerly wipe the dried blood off.

“You just left me there!” she says coldly and Diego lets his hand drop again.

“We didn’t have a choice...” That sounds like a feeble excuse even to his own ears and Diego drops his head with a sigh.

“Was that some kind of fucked up retaliation for when I left at the barn?” Lila shoots back immediately, sounding far more angry than before.

“What? No!” Diego’s head snaps up to look at her. She’s baring her teeth furiously, the slight pink blotches from where he wasn’t able to properly clean the blood off her face making her look almost wild, but her eyes are shining brightly again and Diego suddenly feels a lump forming in his throat.

“No, Lila! We couldn’t risk my dad finding out about the Commission, if he thought he could have gotten that kind of information out of you, I can’t think about what he might have done! But I didn’t want to leave you there like that, I swear. I was going to help you! I tried to, but Five stopped me!” He’s desperate to get her to understand that the last thing he wanted to do was abandon her after everything she’s been through.

“Well that would have been pretty stupid!”

Lila’s interjection completely stops him in his tracks and Diego can’t help but stare at her a little dumbfounded.

“What?” he says, looking her dead in the eye, her expression a mixture of annoyance and exasperation, but also softer than before.

“Your idiot hero complex could have fucked us all over, huh?” she adds, and Diego is just about to argue when his protest dies away in his throat as Lila moves to tuck a strand of his hair behind his ear and then leaves her hand at the side of his face.

All the tension Diego’s been holding since he first saw Lila tied to that chair, or possibly even earlier, possibly since he saw her disappear out of Sissy’s barn, seeps out of him and he leans heavily against her hand, eyes closing with how drained he suddenly feels.

“You came back for me,” Lila says and Diego doesn’t know how to respond to that other than to cover her hand with his own.

He feels the mattress shift and then without warning her lips press against his and he makes a strangled, involuntary noise at the back of his throat as the intensity of the relief he feels then, for Lila being safe, for her being back with him, is almost painful.

Diego wraps his arms around her and pulls her against himself, deepening their kiss carefully, not wanting to be too forceful considering her injured state, but Lila presses into him hungrily, so Diego tightens his grip on her and very much plans to never let go again.

[feliciohno]

I'm back but not without a quick psa

Okay ik I do like these little psa bullshits all the time and I am sorry and ik only like maybe 5 people care I'm just the kinda person who feels the need to over explain constantly even though ik I don't have to. Anyways, this is hopefully gonna be a quick thing and done but I just need to talk a little bit about my coming back and some changes to the blog so lets go.

So, I'll be honest, I'm not fully ready to come back. Just being frank but the only reason I'm coming back after about a month is because I wanted to take part in a Chaggie month during may and this is the blog I use for that kinda stuff. But I didn't want to reopen the blog and then just post about Hazbin cause honestly I'd feel bad. I know I say time and time again that this blog isn't JUST Hetalia but I'm not dumb, I know what you guys followed the blog for. And it's not that I blame anyone because where the content isn't only Hetalia it tends to be mostly Hetalia.

If it wasn't for the Chaggie month I probably would have stayed away longer ngl. Don't get me wrong, I do feel much better than I did when I first left. I just still don't feel great. Without getting too much into it, my brain doesn't really do great things sometimes. Whenever something bad happens to me it often will latch those emotions to things in the moment. Sometimes it's stuff like food or a song but a lot of times it's shows and characters and ships. It sucks cause it very often tends to hit special interests the most. There really isn't a special interest I have that I can enjoy without issue except maybe bats. And ik this is typically a trauma response but like? My brain recently has started to do it outside of trauma? Like I'm pretty sure I haven't gone through any trauma recently?? So idk man it's dumb and hates me. Anyways, there's still some characters and ships and stuff for Hetalia that I really can't look at without panicking lmao. But honestly it's okay. I'm kinda use to this kinda stuff by now?

Basically my hiatus was so I could step away from people and just like the show by myself. I blocked tags, I only interacted with the show and drew stuff for it when I felt like I wanted to or could. I only talked about the show with an extremely small select group of friends and even that was on rare occasion. There's a word for what I was trying to do but I can't remember it rn it's like re-something therapy. But whatever so yeah. And honestly? It was working really well. It's still working really well. I feel better than I did before. But like? It's still not great. There's gonna be stuff that still messes me up. This isn't the kinda thing that goes away over night and I knew that going into my hiatus. But! You guys stuck with me (from what I can tell) and I genuinely thank you all for that! So like yeah I am coming back to the blog including Hetalia posting. I'm probably gonna keep the tags blocked though and only look at like certain mutual content and stuff. Just stuff that I know for sure isn't gonna idk set me off (I desperately don't wanna call any of this stuff triggers cause then that's admitting how much they actually emotionally affect me and I'm not even gonna go there lmao).

That's basically it in regards of my hiatus BUT now I gotta talk about some changes to this blog. Nothing huge just two minor things.

The first thing is this blog is now my Problematic Media blog AND my blog to put Gore/N S F W content on. The main reason for this is I got accepted to be an artist on a blog called @/ponydoodles (if you like mlp related content go give it a follow :> ). One of the rules though of being an artist is the main blog you use and that is associated with your mod title can not have any extreme gore or N S F W content on it. Which like, I don't blame them for making that a rule. The mlp fandom has a lot of bad rep cause of older and probably even still modern fans. I have my own opinions on that kinda stuff but that's neither here nor there. So yeah! Any content of mine that is too suggestive or gory will be posted here no matter the source. Please make sure to block any tags of stuff you don't wanna see. And just a quick note, I will not be tagging N S F W content as such because those posts get blocked and it's FUCKING annoying. Instead I will be using the tag NSFT (not safe for tumblr) which from what I've seen is what most people are using these days. As for gore I always do my best to make sure everything is properly tagged with more intense or triggering content.

The last small change to this blog is this- I will no longer be posting about non blog related content on here. Lemme explain a little. I'm sure a lot of you noticed that I tend to make little posts here and there about myself, my life, cartoons just anything on my mind. The problem with this is I ended up almost killing my main blog @hext00ns because I was never fucking using it. And because I never used it for so long I don't get much interaction from people on that blog but I did start to get it here. From there it was a loop. I'd post more on here, causing less attention on my main, causing people to interact more with my side, causing me to want to post more on my side and less on my main. And honestly? It actually made me kinda depressed? In a weird way? It's kinda dumb but Hextoons is like my brand. Being the weird cartoon freak that knows way too much about animation and anything involving it has always and will always be my main and in some cases only personality trait lmao. It's also where I post my original content which is really important to me. So, here's what's gonna happen. I'm only gonna be posting about content that pertains to the sources and content that I use this blog for. Any other content or blogging or whatever will go on my main @hext00ns So like if you liked that kinda stuff or if you like other cartoons, anime, and video game stuff, just god please go follow that account. Genuinely. I promise that blog is full of the same F- bullshit quality all my content tends to be.

And one last thing cause I feel like some people are gonna be curious, yes you can still talk to me about Hetalia and send asks and shit. I still love asks and interactions more than life itself and that hasn't changed. It really is what motivates me to do shit. Comments, tags on reblogs, asks, this kinda stuff puts a fire under my ass to continue and create content that, I assume, you guys like. I'm always open to that kinda stuff on either blog. And where yeah, Hetalia kinda makin' me sad still just a bit, I am better. And honestly? I have the physical ability to just? Not check my notifs for a day or so if I need a short breather or I'm not feeling up to it? Like tech is so amazing how you can exit out of apps and windows like wow guys it's so crazy (/s/j).

So yeah, your fruity little Italian is back from superhell what's up bitches

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[aeondeug]

list 10 different female faves from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people

@wolffyluna left it open to whoever felt like it and I need a break between class and studying so...let’s go in no particular order... 1. Jame from The Chronicles of the Kencyrath. For a lot of reasons, really. Jame is just kind of...A mood? And one I personally really have needed. She’s like very much not a girly girl, but she’s still got like girly concerns and also she rides a death metal unicorn and she has a cat she is magically bonded to. Jame is very much a little girl power fantasy kind of character, but she’s also like deeply fucked up due to her very fucked up upbringing. And the handling of said mental issues and trauma is handled really well and in a Very Real sort of way. Jame’s also just fun and cute and hot and she falls off of something once a book at least. Also a character, a woman at that, whose method of helping things is breaking stuff? While also challenging the fact that choices are hard and your best intentions might still fuck shit up? Hell yeah. Go Jame. 2. Harrowhark Nonagesimus from The Locked Tomb Trilogy. THE NEWEST FAV OF THE BUNCH. She’s goth. She’s a nun. She’s gay. She’s a necromancer. This is all very good shit alone. But then there is like the sort of person Harrow is. And Harrow is the sort of girl who will go days without sleep and break a bone and be like “Well I got a test today...” before downing 15 Red Bulls and taking some pain killers before going to class. Then she will get an A on the test and be a fuck about that. She’s mean, she’s got an ego, she’s weird and standoffish. But like she hates herself and she’s like weirdly repressed in certain ways and she’s neglected as shit. I love this awful bone witch 10/10 would watch her kick Griddle in the face again. 3. Soifon from Bleach. She’s angry. She’s short. She’s wasp themed. Also like the entirety of her story in the Soul Society arc is this like...It’s the aftermath of your typical S narrative, except the little sister and big sister were highly trained murder ninjas from the afterlife. Also one turns into a cat. Soifon’s just kind of a mood and she’s fun and she’s got a lot of potential for fans to play around with, both seriously and jokingly. Also like Soifon’s bookending is just...It works really well I feel like. Honestly, Soifon’s arcs in general are fun things and they’re good shows of what the narrative strengths of Bleach are and where they are. 4. Edelgard von Hresvelg from Fire Emblem: Three Houses. I have written over 80 poems involving this woman. I have written essays about her. El and her deal with trauma just...Hits right in a lot of ways. Also I appreciate having like an abuse survivor who is a woman who like...Doesn’t just lie down and take shit? And I appreciate that we can see what an Edelgard who doesn’t start recovering becomes versus what an Edelgard who does start recovering is like. We get to see both sides of this in one character. She can be both a hero and a monster. And that’s just really important to see when you’re an abuse survivor with BPD. I also really appreciate that she’s just such a cute goober about romance? Like El’s a romantic. She wants a fairy tale romance and a happily ever after. That’s cute as fuck. 5. Zero from Force of Will. Is Force of Will’s story awkward trash? Yeah. It is. But I love this grumpy gay vampire bitch so much. She is a gay vampire wizard who is married to a gay elf and her magic is at its most potent when she is pissed the fuck off. Good shit. She’s also the ruler behind my absolute favorite deck in the entire game and like in a tcg in general? She’s scrappy and annoying and hard to get rid off and she’ll tell you “No” a lot while also hitting you very hard in the face. I like that. It’s fun and can make people feel helpless against it. Which I think works well with her character? Her rulers also never work well with her wife’s, which I find a funny way of representing that they argue a lot via gameplay mechanics. 6. Houjou Satoko from Higurashi. A lot of people say she’s irritating and the worst character and you know what? That’s fair. Satoko is annoying. She’s a huge fucking brat. But like. I dunno. I get why she is. And she’s the first time I can think of where I saw like the way kids can and will sabotage attempts to get CPS involved in their situation portrayed. Like she knows she’s being abused and she knows that shit sucks and would like it to not suck, but she still sabotages her friends’ attempts to get the authorities involved because she knows what happens when the authorities can’t get you out. I’ve got a complicated relationship with CPS, due to my experiences with it as a kid. The arc where they come this close to saving her and fail is the most soul crushing fucking thing. 7. Tsukino Usagi from Sailor Moon. So like with Jame this is partly a case of like a girl who is very authentically girl. She cries a lot and easily. She’s kind of lazy as hell. She wants to just laze about and eat shit food and read comics and play games. But she also like wants to have a fairy tale romance and like. Fuck that’s a mood. Like that’s it. That’s what being a girl is like! Authentically a girl! Also there’s just something very satisfying about Usagi getting so fucking sad that the universe just outright apologizes to her basically and brings a dead girl back to life. Is it realistic? No. But I don’t care. Sometimes you just want reality to listen to you and your feelings. 8. ENA from...ENA. ENA’s rapid and extreme mood swings are like. They’re cool. I mean not cool cool but like. I’ve got BPD so like seeing extreme mood shifts like that is cool. Also she’s fucking rad as hell looking and in a really weird ass series of shorts? With hourglass dogs and turrónes and what not. I find ENA hard to describe. Just go watch Auction Day. 9. Fate Testarossa from Nanoha. Starts out a highly abused child and then ends up a gay mom. Fate’s just a really sweet person and she cares a lot. And I really like that she like has a weird complicated relationship with her mom. Like she knows the woman hated her and she knows that they way she was abused was shit but like...She does still love her mom. A lot. And what happened to her affects the entire trajectory of her life from that point on. Hell, she fucking chooses her career path as like a space cop for the express purpose of making sure that there aren’t any other Fate Testarossas made. Fate’s a character who is affected heavily by her trauma, but she’s not stuck in her trauma. She’s not destroyed by it. But it still very much impacts her life and it’s never going away. 10. Remilia Scarlet from Touhou. She’s a fucking vampire what the fuck else do I need? She’s like one of those eternal child vampires too so she’s a fucking brat who tries to act cool and refined. But really she’s like a dumb kid in a lot of ways. She still tries to be an adult though. There’s a lot of fun ways you can handle Remilia. A lot of fun ways that people have written her. That’s part of the fun of Touhou in general, really. Remi’s just my favorite of the Touhous because she’s a bratty vampire with a Dio reference maid. Also have you seen her blocking animation from Hisoutensoku? Because if not you fucking should. It’s great. anyway. whoever else wants to do this go for it i guess.

[mycptsdstory]

So, to elaborate on the Love Bombing; my ex best friend who I talked about in the previous posts, when she lied to my face when I didn’t offend anyone. Saying THREE TIMES, twice in her discord that everyone could see and the third in private messaged me; is the girl I’m gonna talk about Love Bombing and why my mental health on people not messaging me back has gone down the shitter.

Before I say this, it’s not just me she did this too, she did this with EVERYONE! Even the people she worked with as content creators. Now I know she has bad mental health too, not gonna go into detail about it too much. Trying to be vague about it as much as I can; her family caused her mental health and I know she has some deep deep deep Trauma Bonding Issues with her family, especially her dad.

So, let’s get into the Love Bombing of my ex best friend.

She would leave discord servers to, take a break from her mental health and take a break in general. I don’t mind that. She did this so often that no one really questioned her. Then when she came back, it was all filled with love, sending people gifts and so on. It was pretty intense and I couldn’t cope with it, it was TOO much love that it was overbearing. Sometimes I had to take a step back because I couldn’t handle the intense compliments, the showering of gifts and her explosiveness of love. It’s not just “oh you look pretty” it was “omg youre so pretty! I wish I was pretty as you. Omg youre so good with makeup, youre so gorgeous, you’re so kind” and on and on and on. Like I said, it was intense.

However, the minute she kinda just left and ignored me for months, I would feel guilty that I wasn’t a good friend and I needed to be more kind. Then she came back telling me “youre such a wonderful person. I love you so much! You’re like a sister I never had. Not like my family who did…” and basically Trauma Dumping me with her problems. It’s like she didn’t understand boundaries and she didn’t know when is the good time, not to talk about certain shit she was dealing with. Like she had NO self aware of what she was doing. I get it she had a bad life, but please, don’t do this. It’s uncomfortable when people do this.

She would even leave the content community gamers (I can’t say their brand, I know they get paid on YouTube) and just leave and saying “I’m gonna miss you guys. You guys are the best. I love you all so much, you’re my family” and just really uncomfortable over loving when she left.

[Side note and side rant/vent; she could leave servers and no one bats an eyelid. THE MINUTE I LEFT? Oh no, I’m bad. Fuck off. Especially when my bf couldn’t handle the drama in her server with her friends, he left on his own accord. Oh no! He’s also the bad guy because he left. Fuck off. The more she caused drama and her friends (aka followers) tried and I mean fucking tried to get me to snap, the more I wanted nothing to do with it. I walked away and I know they hate that. Oh well, not my fucking problem. Again, fuck off with that bull shit. Me and my bf got fed up and left their bs. But noooooo we are the bad guys for leaving the fucking server. She can fuck right off with that bull shit.]

Again, when she came back it to the content creators, she was just filled with love. Looking back, it was toxic. I don’t have to prove my love to you, when you left. Fuck off. I will love anyone unconditionally, but the minute you Love Bomb me, I’m leaving. I’m done.

She would think if I didn’t give her the attention, she needed, I’m the bad friend. Fuck off. When I didn’t see her post, when I didn’t see the thing she tagged me in straight away; I’m the bad friend. Fuck off. When I didn’t see her message straight away and I didn’t respond straight away; I’m the bad friend. Fuck off.

Like I said, she had no personal boundaries and no self awareness on what she’s actually doing.

Omg everything has to be SJW (social justice warriors) bs but only pick and choose who’s the more popular opinion. Fuck off. Like with Johnny Depp, oh she didn’t like how he ‘retaliated’ back to Amber so Johnny is the bad guy and women are ‘never’ abusive. Fuck off. How when the tea channels all agree with something, you have to agree with them. Fuck off. When ‘I’ should agree that ALL Republicans are the bad guys and everyone should be put in a box. Again, fuck off. Not everyone is the same, everyone is different. Omg if I had a different opinion of hers she would get ‘triggered’. She and her ‘friends’ can suck my cunt. Ugh…. I hate those types of people. So immature.

How about this, instead of calling yourself a SJW, just be a decent human fucking being. It’s not e=mc2 for fucks sake. God, the SJWs need a participation trophy to fight for basic human rights… ugh. I hate people.

She and along with her friends would complicate sentences to make themselves feel and look smart. I just see a dumb ass tbh. Here’s the thing, even my bf said this “any idiot can make anything complicated. A genius can make something complicated into something simple”. I agree, they would try to use the (as I call it) “the gaslight dumb logic” to make them feel smart, but the minute you question on what they are saying and trying to understand on what they are actually saying ; they have a 5 year old tantrum. Really pathetic tbh. That’s toxic btw. You are not smart, nor you are clever to do that bull shit. It’s pathetic.

I still got the messages she sent to me when she deleted her old discord account because again, she caused drama… I wonder fucking why 🙄

I’m honestly glad she’s out of my life. Now I can focus on not being such a cry baby bitch when someone doesn’t reply straight away. I know she caused that, it brought me back when I was living with my family. My mental health got that bad at one point.

Don’t get me wrong, I used to love bomb people when I was teen, but I’ve learned from that. I haven’t done that since I was in my teens. I’ve grown up, matured since then. People who love bomb are so fucking immature adult babies. I’m done with people like that.

If want me to go into detail and explain what Love Bombing is in psychologically terms and put it into basics so you can understand; I’m happy to do that.

EDIT: This girl is in her mid 30s or late 30s but she’s acting like a teen. When I found out she was (I think, don’t quote me on this) 36? I was shocked. She acted like she was in her 20s or younger. Don’t get me wrong, even me at 29 I have my immature moments and I act like a kid sometimes, but this was different. It’s like she didn’t know how to act certain times and I have plenty of friends who are a lot older than me and we all act immature sometimes. I just can’t put my finger on it, it’s like she didn’t want to be an adult, or like she didn’t want people to know she’s older than she is.

Yeahh we can all act immature and have a stupid humour like laughing at farts or making silly faces, singing with our brushes or get drunk and act like we can do anything (as long you’re not doing anything illegal). Nothing wrong in that, me and friends still do that. Or even playing games and we piss each other off so we kill each other. Again, nothing wrong in that.

I can’t explain it, it’s hard to explain on the way she acts. Like she when she didn’t get her own way, she attacked my bf because she couldn’t get to me because I blocked her. When she couldn’t get my bf because he blocked her, so she attacked my friends. This screams immaturity and only teens and children do this when they can’t get their own way. It’s pretty pathetic tbh. I don’t know, it’s hard to explain.

EDIT: I can do another post on Trauma Dumping in psychological terms and put it simple so you guys can understand. I can do that, been thinking of doing that for some time.

[morgana-ren]

I just read your latest shiggy piece and it was so good. I also saw your note at the end. Obviously do what’s best for you but I’m going to miss your writing lol. And if it’s not too personal, can I ask why you’re done with it? Are you falling out of interest with these characters? Of course you don’t have to answer and you’re valid no matter what. But thanks again for the great stories!!!

Thank you! I’m really happy you liked it! 

So basically, there’s a few reasons I’m thinking of calling it quits, but most of it condenses down into my own self confidence issues and self esteem. I’ll put more under a cut cause frankly most people aren’t going to care about my self pitying tirade and I don’t wanna put some long ass thing they need to scroll past. 

I’ve been writing fairly consistently for a few years now. I don’t always post everything I write but on average I usually write at least 5,000 words a week. That might not seem like much but those are during the weeks where I’m still working full time and taking care of shit like cooking and laundry and other adult responsibilities. My googledocs is completely full of my bullshit and half baked ideas, and so is my drafts and the notebook app on my phone. It’s been a very large part of my life. 

Problem with that is that I don’t feel like I am where I should be as a writer despite it being such a large part of my life. I’m one of those exceedingly obnoxious people that doesn’t do things they’re not good at. I gave up guitar after two years because I got so frustrated of hearing myself suck. I don’t draw anymore because I hate my shitty work in comparison to other people’s amazing art. The same is starting to be said for my writing. It doesn’t make me feel good anymore. It just makes me feel bitter and frustrated.

I was able to ignore it for the past two years largely in part to the weird euphoria of finding characters I loved, but that’s quickly starting to wear off. The fandoms I write for are filled to the brink with amazing and talented authors, some of which have been writing for exponentially less time than I have, and already their work far surpasses mine. For some reason, it feels like my brain just is not wired to improve past a certain point, even if I make active efforts to do so.

Now don’t mistake that for me blaming other folks for anything, this has to do with me and me alone. A lot of it can be attributed to some of my illnesses and the fact I just flat out don’t like myself. I just feel like given how much time I spend doing this bullshit, I should be much, much better than I am. I essentially feel like I improved a little bit early on and ever since then, I’ve just been stagnating. My work doesn’t have the originality it did (if it ever did) and people don’t seem to enjoy it as much. 

There’s a lot of incredible authors out there who write the same topics and characters that I do, and when my work is put up against theirs, mine is basically just scraping the bottom of the barrel. I’m essentially throwing out these stories that have already/could be done better by other people and I’m just taking up titles and ideas that could be used for better pieces or concepts that could be done better by anyone but myself. 

I know that we all say “I write for myself” and for me, that’s true on a level. If I truly wrote only for myself, I wouldn’t be sharing it here on this platform or on Ao3. Sometimes when there’s a lack of positive feedback or any sort of acknowledgement at all, it feels like I’m just yelling obnoxiously into the void and cranking out this shit that no one wants and no one even asked for. I’m not entitled to people’s attention or time, and I don’t want to spam people’s tags or feeds with shit they have to roll their eyes and scroll past every few days when I post some bullshit no one really wants. 

I guess it comes down to the voice in my head every time I write or get ready to post something that’s steadily getting louder that says “Why fucking bother? It fucking blows and so do you and you just wasted _ days doing something that fucking sucks.” It feels like I’m just wasting time that I should be using on something, anything else to write these stories that no one gives a fuck about.

And nobody fucking @ me with some shitty insult like “lmao youre so self pitying” or some shit because #1) I am aware. My mental state, especially right now, is not great. I’ll be self pitying if I want, and if you don’t like it? Unfollow/block button is free. And #2) This is something I do mostly for free. You are not paying me to do it, so your input means exactly nothing to me. Start paying my bills or for my medication and I’ll start giving a single fuck.

[liliesoftherain]

My Hero Academia Main 3 Boys x Reader

Ch. 5 The Fight of U.S.J Part 2

Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4

Chapter 5! Thanks for the wait guy! I’ll be updating more often soon, especially after finals are over and I have the chance to relax.   TAG LIST: @rizamendoza808​ ! (:

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

You guys were running fast, trying to make it to the center of the training facility in good time. You were behind the boys, trying to keep up but their legs were so damn long.

"What's the matter short stuff, can't keep up?" Kirishima snickered at you, looking back to see your face flush in embarrassment.

"You're calling me nicknames now too Eijiro? What's it with you two."

"I am obviously better at it than Bokugou, I mean short stuff sounds way funnier than glitter bomb, makes more sense too."

"Look it's not my fault you guys have super long legs okay." You ignore his comment, going back to the previous topic.

"Why (y/n), have you been checking us out," Kirishima flexed, "I mean we are handsome and manly young men but that's a little perverted don't you think." You could hear the smug attitude in his voice, causing your face to go an even darker shade of red.

You then used your quirk for a second to help you push yourself into the lead, making sure to knock shoulders with him as you did so. You huffed, legs burning not just from the physical activities you've taken part of today, but also your quirk usage.

"Shut it! I'm not a p-pervert! Shouldn't you be focusing on the task at hand?"

"Both of you need to shut your traps and focus before I kick your asses." Bakugou quipped, rolling his eyes at the whole, in his opinion, disgusting scene. 

You all heard a loud crash coming towards the entrance and wondered what could be happening now.

"Have the pros arrived?" Kirishima asked, you squinted and saw more smoke circling around, and shouts of battle were heard. 

Another large collision happened towards where you were all running, causing the three of you to move even faster.

When finally approaching the smoked filled area, you saw AllMight holding onto, and being held by, a giant black bird-like mutant. Being tangled together by the warp-guy and his quirky body. A flash of green crossed your vision, rushing towards them both. 

You cursed under your breath, willing yourself to hurry up before it was too late. Izuku couldn't slow down and he was going to be absorbed by that stupid warping quirk!

Another blur whizzed by you, this time  it being Bakugou as he lunged forward, his palm emitting his explosions and aiming it right at the villain.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY DEKU!" You skid to a stop next to Eijiro as Bakugou took down the shadowy figure.

A chill made its way down your body, looking toward your right you saw Todoroki freezing the mutant. 

"One of your poorly trained thugs told me you think you can kill AllMight, and that's why you're here. " He said void of emotion.

His quick thinking allowed AllMight to remove himself from the mutants clutches. and spring away.

You and Kirishima needed no words, a strong look was all it took before you two charged at the man with the snow white hair. You didn't know his power, his part in this, but you just knew it was because of him this was happening.

You both jumped up and aimed, you were careful to avoid Kirishima while you sent a bolt of light at the man, hoping to keep some distance since you had no idea what his quirk was. He was able to dodge you both, but only barley and you almost managed to slice him with your heat, unfortunately only able to singe a strand of hair.

Backing off, you ignored Kirishima's grunt of frustration by wanting to be cool and landing a hit. You ended up in between Bakugou and Todoroki, barely registering Midoriya behind you while you kept your focus on the man in front of you. His battle outfit had you feeling uneasy, so many hands grabbing at him, it looked straight out of a horror film.

"Guess I found your body that time you smokey bastard." Bakugou sneered down at his prey, his stare daring him to move.

"The symbol of peace will not be defeated by delinquents like you." Todoroki stated, his tone definitely matching his quirk. 

Sniffling came from behind and you instantly knew who it was from

"Kaachan... everyone."

"Izuku wipe your eyes and stand tall, this isn't the time to be letting your guard down." You told him sternly.  You heard shuffling then a grunt, and assumed he had stopped. 

Right now wasn't the time to let emotions overtake you, these guys were better than the low levelers you fought previously. The villain you attacked had his face blocked by another one of those hands, but even without looking you could sense the frustration. He slowly raised his hand, and you raised your guard in return. However, he just touched the hair you burned and stood there. 

His hand tightened as he started to tug at it, and you all grew confused as he simultaneously yanked at his hair and ferociously scratched his neck. The scratching was making his skin blotch red, and you swore it was leaving thin lines of blood. He seemed to be breaking down till he suddenly stopped. 

"Kurogiri, how could you let these brats... how could you let one get the best of you? You're causing a lot of trouble here." He sneered. 

"You got careless you dumb villain," Bakugou smirked with pride, at being the 'brat' who took him down. "It wasn't hard to figure out why you wear armor on certain parts of your body. Back then you used the mist as a cover up, that's why we first missed." 

"No reason to wear armor if you don't have a body. Which means he's not immune to physical attacks if well aimed." You said to yourself, but it was still loud enough for everyone to hear you.

This Kurogiri moved, and in return Bakugou sent a hot explosion as a warning.

"Don't move, you try anything funny and I'll blow your ass up so bad that they'll be piecing you back together for weeks."

"Oh that doesn't sound very heroic haha.." Kirishima muttered nervously, you were thinking the same thing so you looked at the hot head on the ground and spoke teasingly.

"Geez what a guy, always has the right words to say. My hero. " His eyes stay firm on the villain on the ground but you saw a light flush cross his cheeks. You both must have really been pissing him off today.

"They escaped uninjured and captured my two strongest men. You kids these days... really are amazing. Making the League of Villains look like amateurs.. Nomu." The man spoke to the mutated bird. And like being commanded, the mutant moved. Even though he was trapped by Todoroki's ice, he was still moving.

You all gasped as he lifted himself out of the warp prison, letting his limbs break off as if no physical pain mattered while crouching down.

"How is that thing still moving?" The sound of Midoriya's voice said what was on everyone's mind, and you were sure your face matched Todoroki's. Full of disbelief. 

"Stay back everybody!" AllMight's shout was drowned out as the ice on the mutants severed limbs busted off, creating a loud shattering noise. The muscles and tendons and everything else in between started to grow back, and looking at it made you want to gag. 

"What is this? You said his quirk was shock absorption!" AllMight yelled.

"I didn't say that was his only quirk, he also has super regeneration." The ring leader replied.

'What the hell?' You thought, 'Two quirks, that aren't related at all. What's going on?'

"Nomu is modified to take you on even at 100% of your power. He's basically a highly efficient punching bag, that'll hit back. But first," The villain continued, " we need to free our method of escape. Get him Nomu."

You looked at Bakugou eyes wide in fear and tried to grab him, but before you could even raise your hand you were thrown back by a large gust of wind. You collided with someone, feeling arms wrap around your waist as you landed on them. Then feeling another body topple onto you. 

The breath escaped your lungs but you didn't care about who you were being sandwiched by, the only thing on your mind was if Bakugou was okay. The smoke in the area cleared and you saw the Nomu guy crouching by his comrade, fist out like he had just swung.

"Bakugou!" You yelled, at the same time Izuku yelling out for him too. 

"That's my ear you're yelling in glitter bomb." You sucked in a breath as you finally saw it was indeed Bakugou who was on top of you. He rolled off landing on his butt in a seated position, you too rolled off of whoever you landed on.

"Sorry Todoroki." He said nothing but simply stood up and picked you up with him. You allowed him to help you stand, looking where Bakugou was still on the ground.

"Bakugou? What just happened?"

"Wow Kaachan you managed to dodge him!" 

"Shut up, no I didn't you damn nerd." His pupils dilated in shock as he looked where he once was.

"Then how did you get over here?" Kirishima questioned, and you all stared at the skid marks in the ground that lead your gazes to a hole in one of the concrete walls.

"Isn't it obvious." Todoroki cut in, and when the dust cleared from that area you saw it was AllMight who had rushed in and took the blow for Bakugou. 

He was breathing heavily, that punch seemed to take a lot out of him. You gulped as you thought about how it would've affected Bakugou if he was the one to get hit versus AllMight taking the damage.

"These are kids and you didn't hold back!?" AllMight was furious.

"I didn't have much of a choice, that boy was threatening my companion. Besides, these kids are no angels. The plain looking gone? He tried to kill me with a maxed out punch." Turning to stare at Izuku, he looked taken aback. 

"And the girl," He pointed to you, and now you were the one who felt taken aback, " that heat ray of hers would have seriously wounded me if I hadn't dodged. What kind of heroes do that. You think you can get away with being as violent as you want because you say it's for the sake of others. " His hands raised once again, trembling as he spoke.

"But you know what AllMight? That really pisses me off. Why do people get to decide that some violent acts are heroic while others are villainous. Who has the authority to pass judgment on whats good and what's evil. You're no symbol of peace, you're just another government toy they use to condone violence. Doesn't violence always breed more violence? It'll never end, and I'll make sure the world understands that when you're dead."

"You're nothing but a lunatic." AllMight countered, "Criminals like you always try to make your actions justified, but admit it, you're only doing this for your own selfish desires!"

"We've got them outnumbered." Todoroki's voice chimes in, breaking the silence between you students. 

"As long as we stay smart we may have the upper hand." You chewed your lip, feeling a bit tired from how many times you used your quirk today, but with the blood rushing in your ears and adrenaline pumping through your veins there was no way you'd throw in the towel now.

"Kaachan found the mist guys weakness, so there's one advantage right there."

"These dudes may act really tough, but we could take them down now with AllMight's help," Kirishima said, activating his quirk, "heh, let's do this."

"Don't attack!" AllMight yelled, walking straight at the villains. His back facing you five while he raised his hand in an attempt to block you. "Get out of here!"

"You would've been in trouble earlier if it weren't for me remember? You need our help."

Side-eyeing Todoroki, you thought he was being awfully cocky but you kept your mouth shut. Because while it was pretty rude, it was somewhat true. AllMight was in the Nomu mutants clutches before Todoroki had frozen his limbs and giving him time to make an escape.

"I thank you for your assistance, but this is different!" AllMight's hand formed a fist, glancing behind with a tight smile.

"Just sit back and watch a pro at work!"

"But you're too hurt, you're bleeding! You're almost out of tim-" Izuku cut himself short, looking at you and making eye contact as he put his hand against his mouth.

You raised a brow questioningly, but looked away. Now was not the time for distractions, however interesting they may be. A warmth filled your heart as you saw AllMight's signature thumbs up. You remember being little and loving to see him and his victories broadcasted. While your favorite pro had always been, and always would be, your father: you always had looked up to AllMight. 

"Nomu, Kurogiri, kill him. I'll deal with the pesky children. Let's clear this level and go home."

The leader of the group ran at you guys, and you put up your defenses ready to attack when you felt a gust of wind. You saw the leader fly back, catching himself so he didn't fall over, but now there was more space between you. 

Watching AllMight this close was pretty amazing, noticing his continuous punches were going so fast you could barely see them. The force was extreme, making you crouch low to keep from being blown away. You felt something hard from behind you and saw Eijiro harden his body to add more weight, and place himself behind you as a support. 

"He's going to fight that brain guy head on!?" Izuku yelled, clenching his teeth and shielding his eyes against the winds.

"Woah, they're so fast!" Eijior's voice was in your ear, and you couldn't help but shudder. While this wasn't the time to be flustered, it was hard not to be when he was breathing down your neck.

"Your quirk is shock absorption, not nullification, so there's only a limit on what you can take right!" AllMight concluded, his assault on the bird-brain never faltering.

Punch after punch it was showing that the Nomu was starting to slow down. Even though he was still going strong, compared to the beginning of the fight this was nothing. Well, to AllMight at least. No matter how confident you were, you knew you wouldn't be able to take it head on.

"You were made to fight me at 100% big guy? Well, lets see how you fare when I go beyond that and force you to surrender!"

Seeing the blood dripping down his forehead, his ripped clothing, and his non-smiling face made you want to cry. This was the symbol of peace, and he was giving it his all to make that statement true. To keep you all safe. 

His punches were calculated, it may have been hard for any other person to tell, but you and your friends could see it. Plus, every single one of those hits was more than.. 100% of his power. You could not believe it, that someone was strong enough to handle that much power of their quirk. 

Another large attacked sent the Nomu flying back, AllMight not wasting any time and jumping for him.

"A real hero will always find a way for justice to be served!"

The two clashed head on, the Nomu attacking relentlessly but AllMight still had the upper hand. The concrete ground beneath them was breaking into large chunks as they both dodged attacks, until finally the Nomu was caught by the arm, and was tossed to the ground after being spun around and then thrown over AllMight's shoulder.

Someone let out a strangled gasp next to you but you were unable to tell who did it, you were transfixed on the sight before you. The most intense battle you've ever seen was merely a few feet away, so close you felt the power off of every hit.

"Now for a lesson. You may have heard these words before, but I'll teach you their true meaning. "

His power only continued increasing, so much that it became a physical light you could see gathering in his palm. 

"GO BEYOND. PLUS ULTRA!" The force of AllMight's last punch sent the Nomu back way farther than any previous knockouts. He literally went straight through the glass dome ceiling, causing shards to fall haphazardly below and lights to explode. The entire place was shaking from his force, and you stared out at him until he disappeared from view.

"That was like the finishing move from a video game! He beat the shock abortion right out of him! I've never seen that type of brute strength." Kirishima's jaw dropped, eyes sparkling in wonder.

"That was amazing, I can't even see him anymore, just how powerful was that punch?!" Your jaw dropping as well, still trying to see if you could catch a glimpse of the mutant, but to no avail.

"Imagine having power like that," Bakugou gulped, "he must've been punching that monster so fast he had no time to regenerate." 

"I really have gotten weaker!" AllMight smiled, a fist raised in victory at you guys, "Back in my heyday, 5 hits would have been enough to knock that guy out. But today it took more than 300 mighty blows!"

You smiled at the large grin on his face, till you noticed his body was smoking. At first you tried to play it off as the dust clearing from around him, yet there was no mistake. You knew what it looked like because it happened to you.

When you overexert your quirk, your body begins to overheat due to the photons in your body replenishing itself, and from the constant use. So you smoked because it’s your body's way of sweating. You sweat to cool down, but your body needed more than that, so it literally steals and evaporates the water from inside your body to lower your body temperature. It sucks, so you have to pour water not only on yourself but chug a ton too to keep yourself from passing out. 

'Maybe it's a consequence of using too much power like me?' You thought, hoping he would be alright.

"You've been bested villains!" The smile never leaving his face, so he must've not been worried about his smoking body. You relaxed, knowing AllMight had full control over the situation.

The leader was shaking heavily, hands twitching and you saw the anger in his stance.

"Surrender, we all want to get this over with quickly!"

"He.. cheated.." He brought his hand back up to his neck, scratching even worse than earlier.

He was clawing at his neck and muttering to himself, it was hard to make out what he was hearing, but it was something about how he was lied to and AllMight is strong as he's always been. 

"What's wrong!" AllMight’s voice made their leader stop the scratching in favor of looking towards the hero.

"Not attacking me? Didn't you say you were going to clear this level earlier? Well come and get me. If you dare." The hardness in the hero's eyes made it hard to remember that this was the same person who had just smiled at you all not even a couple of seconds ago. The leader flinched back, raising arms as if trying to protect himself.

"Man, this is intense." Bakugou said, barely a whisper.

"As expected, there is no reason for us to fight now, he'll handle it." You all agreed with Todoroki, turning to walk away, but saw Izuku still hadn't budged.

"C'mon Izuku, let's regroup with everyone else. We don't want to get in his way."  You waited for him to budge but he didn't still staring straight at AllMight, although his back was facing you so you couldn't see his face.

"What are you scared?" You heard AllMight bellow, you furrowed your eyebrows at Izuku.

"Earth to Midoriya? Are you okay?" You walked closer, reaching out to put an arm on his shoulder. 

He didn't flinch when you did, but didn't make any move to acknowledge you either. The villain's nervous tick made you look again and this time it made your eyes open wide. He was slicing his neck with his own nails, blood running down to dip underneath his black shirt. The warp guy was trying to calm him down but he kept scratching and scratching, till he stopped due to Kurogiri's words of encouragement.

Around you all, you noticed many of the other lower level villains starting to stir, and you felt your stomach churn. Even though you knew AllMight was strong enough to take them all on, you still felt something was off deep in your gut. 

"I'm sure we still have a few minutes till their reinforcements arrive. If we work together, we have a chance to kill AllMight, Tomura Shigaraki!" Kurogiri laughed.

"Yeah.." The boss named Shigaraki let his hands fall, red blood tainting the tips of his fingers and still coming up in small clots.  "Yeah you're right, this is it. We have no choice. We have to do it now."

You heard more shuffling and villains starting to surround you all.

"I'm pretty sure he can handle those two, let's make sure these guys don't get in the way!" Kirishima let his quirk harden his hands, standing next to Bakugou. You made brief eye contact with Todoroki as he then looked at Midoriya. You too turned back to look, squeezing his shoulder.

"Will you fight with us Izuku?" You whispered, taking the question right out of Todoroki's mind.

He still gave no indication of hearing you, so you removed your hand and sighed. Next thing you knew he wasn't there, and a sound of surprise left your mouth as you saw he was heading straight for the three adults. 

"Woah what the hell Midoriya!" Kirishima shouted but it fell on deaf ears. 

Izuku's legs were dangling while he was midair, and you assumed he had broken them to go that fast. 

"Fucking hell Izuku." You gritted out and moved.

You saw he was aiming for the warp guy and your body acted without thinking. Feeling the familiar heat spread throughout your body and the bright glow that bounced off of you was all that it took before sprinting forward, getting to Izuku before he fell into the trap. Tossing him out of the way you were trying to move yourself but you were already too close. Plus, your body had to power down to grab Izuku, so now you were feeling the drawback of using your speed. Body overheating exponentially so you had no power or control to move out of the way quick enough. 

A hand popped out of the black mist and all you could do was brace yourself. You heard shouts of your name and noises all around. But they faded out, and all you managed to hear was the loud ringing of their leaders insane laugh. This was it, you didn't know what was going to happen. Even so, you felt no regrets, knowing you helped put a friend, someone in need, and that was all that mattered.

Blood splattered on your face as the hand was drawn away and you crashed to the ground. You quickly used whatever energy you had left and rolled out of the way, hearing the relief in AllMight's voice as he said two words.

"They're here!”

[unbealevable]

GOBLINS ➝ BECHLOE.

TAGGING ➝ Chloe Beale, Beca Mitchell.

LOCATION ➝ Beca, Chloe and Amy’s apartment.

TIME FRAME ➝ 2/10, afternoon.

WARNINGS ➝ None.

NOTES ➝ Beca comes home to find Chloe and five new babies.

CHLOE BEALE

Although they’d smiled politely and thanked the woman who had come into the clinic mid-morning with a box of newborn, abandoned kittens, everybody had actually been kind of mad about it. For all she knew, their mom had simply gone to find food, and would return to find her kittens gone, but they were here now, and there was nothing they could do to reverse her actions—if the cat had returned, she would be long gone by now, and her babies wouldn’t smell like her anymore. This, of course, meant that they now had five helpless kittens to provide twenty-four hour care for, and without considering the shoebox she lived in, Chloe had jumped at the chance to volunteer.

After checking them all over, they all seemed to be in generally good health, and were each given tiny paper collars in different identifying colors—red, blue, green, yellow and purple—before being bundled into a new, bigger box with fresh blankets, and Chloe had been dismissed early to get them home and settled. Considering they couldn’t yet open their eyes properly, it wasn’t like they needed toys or food bowls or anything; the clinic provided her with plenty of kitten milk and syringes to feed them, then the rest was pretty much up to Chloe.

Navigating the city with a box of kittens proved to be a task, as did opening doors, but once they were safely out of the cold and closed away in the apartment, Chloe cleared a space by her side of the pull-out bed to settle their box, then set a timer for every two hours on her phone for scheduled feeds.

By late afternoon, changed out of her scrubs and into a standard winter comfort outfit of leggings and a sweater, Chloe sat cross-legged on the bed, pouting at the soft whines to ring from the box beside her as she scrolled through kitten care tips on her laptop. “I know, you’ll get more milk soon,” she cooed toward the box, leaning over to admire the tiny black and white blobs sprawled out in their makeshift bed.

BECA MITCHELL

Another day, another frustrating shift at the office. While Beca wasn't a fan of physical activity in general, she was low-key grateful for her studio commute as the musical  decompression time on the subway plus the several block power walk to and from her subway stops helped blow off some steam. So she wasn't in the worst mood by the time she got home, all things considered.

Especially because her apartment had heat. And food. And…

"Chloe?" Beca cast a confused wave at her roommate as she set her laptop bag down gently by the foot of the bed. Then she carefully removed her headphones from around her neck and shrugged off her blazer. "What's up, you okay? Are you sick or--"

The tiniest mewl interrupted Beca and her brow furrowed as she followed the sound toward the other side of the bed. "Uh, what…" Taking a few steps over, her hand flew to her mouth and barely muffled her gasp at the sight of the tiny creatures in the box. "Dude, oh my god!"

CHLOE BEALE

In hindsight, maybe Chloe should’ve texted her roommates to at least give them a heads up about the kittens, but she’d been kind of preoccupied all day, so the thought had just slipped her mind. It wasn’t until she heard the door opening that it registered to her, and Chloe bit back a grimace as she took in Beca’s reaction. She couldn’t tell if it was a good one or not.

“Before you say anything,” she began quickly, pushing her laptop aside to instead swing her legs over the side of the bed, body now facing the box. “They were abandoned. Some lady brought them to us this morning, and they don’t have their mom, so now someone has to take care of them until they’re big enough to take care of themselves.” Chloe pulled her lips inward. “Don’t make too much noise, okay? They’re really tiny, you might scare them.”

BECA MITCHELL

Beca may have perfected her hard-ass exterior over the years, but while she held firmly to her belief that most people suck… she'd always had a soft spot for animals. Some of them even melted that badass persona right into mush. She couldn't help it. 

"Oh my god, okay." Beca kept her voice low and toed off her boots before lowering herself to sit on Chloe's side of the bed beside her. "Poor babies! They're so freakin' small, holy shit. I've never seen a cat that small." And there were five of them!

All of this information processed a little too slowly as Beca tried shaking off the shock and she cut Chloe a glance, blinking. "Wait. Does that mean we're taking care of them until they're big enough?"

CHLOE BEALE

Pleased that Beca at least didn’t seem angry, Chloe’s expression softened, and she glanced between the box of kittens and her best friend seated now beside her. “I know, they’re newborn,” Chloe explained, keeping her volume low so as not to wake the ones that were still sleeping. Technically, they all should be sleeping between feeds, but already some of them were a little more lively than the others. “We don’t know when exactly they were born, but it can’t be more than a couple days. You see how they can’t really open their eyes yet?”

Peering into the box, Chloe pulled in her lips again. “Umm, yes,” she nodded. “I mean, I’m taking care of them. It would be awes if you could help, but you don’t have to. They do need to be fed a lot, though… Every two to three hours, in fact.” Chloe paused, nose wrinkling as she shot Beca an apologetic look. “And that’s every two to three hours, including during the night.”

BECA MITCHELL

Beca nodded without hesitating. “Shut up, nerdface. I’m not gonna let you do this shit by yourself--it sounds like a lot of work. And I’m here already. I’d be a dick if I let you do this all by yourself.” Not that Chloe needed to ask. Seriously, Beca never thought twice about helping Chloe, that’s how it had always been. She caught her lower lip between her teeth for a bit, seemingly losing her restraint. (At least she didn’t let out the squeal. She had a cool image to maintain.) “So can I hold one??”

CHLOE BEALE

Chloe knew Beca was a softie for animals—who wasn’t?—but she still felt a certain sense of relief in response to her reaction. It was much better than she’d expected, considering they were going to have a lot of sleepless nights ahead of them. But Beca was her best friend, and Chloe knew that she’d always have her back, so it really shouldn’t have surprised her.

Her lips relaxed into a warm smile. “You can, but you have to be extra careful, okay? In fact…” she paused, picking up her phone to check the time. “They’re due another feed really soon, maybe you could feed one or two of them?” Pushing herself up from the bed, Chloe bounced toward the small kitchen, then directly to the fridge to grab the kitten milk. “There are a couple syringes by the box, grab those and we can fill them. Feeding them is so cute, Bec. They make the sweetest little suckling noises.”

BECA MITCHELL

“Oh, um--sure!” Her reply tinged with a sudden injection of anxiety. “They’re so freakin’ small,” she noted as she peered into the box once again. “What if I accidentally crush it or something?” Beca wrinkled her nose, knowing the concern was likely a dumb one--she had pretty small hands, after all. While Chloe set up the milk, Beca hurried to change into her pajama pants and a soft t-shirt, wanting to get comfy before handling the baby kittens.

CHLOE BEALE

Chloe chuckled quietly as she got to work on carefully heating a saucepan of water. “You won’t. They’re also less fragile than they look… But I mean, don’t, like, squeeze them or anything,” she frowned, focus on preparing everything she needed. While Beca changed, Chloe set a fresh container of milk into the pan, keeping the heat low, before shuffling back toward the bed to plop back down into her previous position.

Grabbing the small notebook she’d been recording their feeds (and other habits) in throughout the afternoon so far, Chloe pulled it into her lap, opening it up to scan over her earlier notes. “I’m guessing you’ve never fed a kitten before?” she questioned, lifting her gaze toward Beca. A shot of excitement ran through her at the idea of getting to teach her something, even if it was just how to syringe feed, so Chloe wasn’t going to waste any time, and leaned down to carefully scoop up the first meowing kitten.

“This one’s name is Green for now,” she said in a soft voice, pulling her hand close to her chest and glancing down toward the black and white blob with a small, contented smile on her lips. “They’re all named after the colors on their collars,” Chloe hummed, reaching out with her finger to delicately stroke over the kitten’s tiny head. “Do you want to hold him? His milk isn’t ready yet, but I bet he still loves cuddles.”

BECA MITCHELL

Beca had to bite back her smile as she watched Chloe go into vet mode, writing her notes and analyzing the situation. “Nope. Can’t say I have, Dr. B. Good thing I’ve got you to teach me.” Pride shined in Beca’s eyes as she watched her best friend handle the kitten with such gentle care. Chloe would be an incredible vet, and it was super awesome she found something she had so much passion for and could make a career out of it.

“Green,” Beca repeated, a slight smirk twisting on her lips. “Like the Green Goblin. Dope.” Her spine snapped straighter when Chloe asked if she wanted to hold him, and she couldn’t resist shooting Chloe a sheepish smile as she made grabby hands toward the baby. “I’ll be real careful. Promise.” She carefully helped transfer the kitten into her hands, gasping as she brought him against her chest. (Mindful of her sore nippes, as always lately. Thanks, Stacie.)

“Hey there, little dude!” Beca whispered, carefully stroking the soft fur on his back before dropping a kiss to his head. “I’m Auntie Beca.” Well, so much for not getting attached. 

CHLOE BEALE

It was perhaps kind of pathetic, the way Chloe’s entire body would tingle with pride whenever Beca called her that particular name. To be more relatable to their clients, everybody just used each other’s first names at the clinic, so she only really got the doctor title at home, but it always made her feel incredibly warm.

“Yes, exactly like the Green Goblin,” Chloe grinned, the reference going entirely over her head. “There’s also a Red Goblin, a Yellow Goblin, a Blue Goblin and a Purple Goblin.” Her gaze was down on the kitten, but glancing over to see Beca so eager and excited made Chloe’s heart flutter in the strangest way. She couldn’t resist cracking a bright smile in response. “I trust you, Bec.”

Cautiously handing him over, Chloe watched the way Beca interacted with the kitten, and did all she could to bite back her grin. “Auntie Beca,” she giggled quietly, reaching out to run the pad of her finger over Green’s head again. “He’s so cute, right? He’s definitely one of the more lively ones already. He has one brother, Blue,” she explained as she rose from the bed to go check on the milk. “Then the rest are girls. Do any of the others look like they’re awake?”

BECA MITCHELL

"He's so freaking small," Beca marveled, continuing to card her fingers in what she hoped was a soothing rhythm through his fur. While Chloe tended to the milk, Beca peered back into the tiny kitten box. "Um… it's hard to tell since their eyes are all still closed but it looks like purple's squirming around a little." Beca refocused her attention on the green collared baby in her hands, hitching her voice up an octave in an uncharacteristically gooey sort of way. "You hungry, buddy? Dr. B's fixing you up some grub right now."

CHLOE BEALE 

Careful not to let the milk get too warm, Chloe pulled the container from the pan, testing a small drop on the back of her hand like regular baby milk. “Oh, really? That’s good, Purple has been the least lively so far,” she commented, turning off the heat and bringing the milk back over to the bed with her. Although she really wanted to say something about Beca’s adorable baby voice, she held it back, and instead just grinned as she reached for two of the syringes.

“You can feed Green while I feed Purple?” she suggested, carefully measuring out the correct amount of milk into the first one, then set it down on the bed beside Beca. She did the same with the second, before reaching into the box to scoop up Purple, the obvious runt of the litter. “Hi, baby,” she cooed, bringing the smallest kitten up to her face to take a look. “I don’t think your brothers and sisters let you get much milk from your mama, huh?” Chloe pouted, setting the kitten down in her lap on her back legs with her hand securely holding her upright.

“Okay, so this is how you feed them,” Chloe began, grabbing the closest filled syringe and guiding it toward the kitten’s mouth. “Nice and gentle,” she just above whispered, finger pushing delicately on the plunger. “You just do one little drop at a time, otherwise they might not be able to swallow it properly.” Chloe watched the kitten for a moment, then glanced toward Beca. “You try.”

BECA MITCHELL

“Just you wait,” Beca said, eyeing the tiniest of the litter. The ‘runt’ or whatever. “Purple’s gonna be the toughest cat there’s ever been. Small and scrappy as fuck. Nobody’s gonna dare mess with her.” Was Beca projecting? Nope. Not even a little bit.

She paid close attention to Chloe’s kitten feeding process, only getting somewhat distracted by how adorable she--it was, her whole… vet thing. She’d always been a good teacher (especially when it came to choreography), but helping Beca learn how to care for newborn kittens was pretty damn cute. 

“Here we go, Goblin. Milk time.” Gentle as ever, she repositioned the kitten and held up the syringe, pressing out one drop for him. She brightened when the tiniest pink tongue poked out to lap it right up. Beca giggled. “Delicious, huh? Here ya go, have another drop.” Beca remained hyper focused on the kitten, feeding him one drop at a time. She figured Chloe would stop her when he had enough.

CHLOE BEALE 

“Small and scrappy,” Chloe echoed, brows rising playfully. Beca was totally describing herself. “She’s gonna have to be scrappy when they start sharing a milk bowl, I think Red is going to be super greedy. She’s already the biggest, and she really, really loves her milk,” Chloe chuckled quietly, glancing toward the open page in her notebook.

Although focused on feeding Purple, she couldn’t help but let her gaze drift toward Beca, at first watching to make sure she knew what she was doing, but then lingering, because there was something almost irresistibly adorable about Beca Mitchell syringe feeding a tiny kitten.

Not that Chloe would ever think of her best friend as irresistible in any other instance, of course.

“This is cute now,” she hummed, gaze moving toward Purple again. “But how do you think you’ll feel about it when we have to wake up every two hours during the night?” Chloe paused then, sending Beca an apologetic look. “I really can figure something else out. Maybe Amy will switch beds with me until they’re a little bigger and don’t have to have regular night feeds?”

BECA MITCHELL

“Well Purple’s gonna have to show Red who’s boss. I believe in her.” Beca cast Chloe a quick smirk before refocusing her attention on her little Green Goblin, who was basically the most adorable creature Beca had ever seen. 

“I’ll make it work,” Beca said with a shrug. Though honestly, if literally anyone else in the world asked Beca to deal with waking up every two hours for at least a few weeks, she’d laugh in their face. Chloe… played by a different set of rules. (She always had.) “I mean, how many chances will I get to raise baby kittens like this? It’s pretty awesome.” She pulled a grimace at the suggestion, shaking her head. “Oh god, please no. Waking up every two hours is cake compared to sharing a bed with Amy. She’ll dutch oven me to death.” 

CHLOE BEALE

The apologetic expression melted into something more appreciative, with Chloe shooting Beca a small, genuine smile. “Thanks, Bec,” she nodded, turning her focus back to the feeding kitten again. “I’m just worried you’ll be tired at work. I’m gonna bring them to work with me and come home between classes,” Chloe explained, tip of her pointer brushing soothingly over Purple’s head. “I can also weigh them and stuff at work, and I bet some of the others will help out there, too. It was weird that nobody seemed to want to take them, though.” Her nose wrinkled, though she shook off the thought; Chloe had always been the first to jump at the chance to help, after all.

Glancing toward Beca, Chloe motioned to her chest, gaze instinctively dropping for the briefest of moments, though she quickly picked it back up again. “Still sore?”

BECA MITCHELL

“I’ll figure it out,” Beca muttered. “I can always hook myself up to a coffee IV at work, it’s fine.” She cast Chloe a tight-lipped smile before glancing back down to the kitten lapping at the milk droplet. “He seems like he’s worth it. They all do.” She peered over the side of the bed into the box of the three remaining kittens, all who seemed to be asleep at the moment. 

She blinked at Chloe’s question, following her gaze and puffing out a chuckle. Her cheeks warmed and she rolled her eyes. “Yeah, it’s been a rough week. Tattoos are healed up by now but this sucks so far.” Beca sighed. “They’ll get better I guess. Eventually.” 

CHLOE BEALE

“True,” Chloe shrugged, cracking a grin. “Sounds very healthy.” In spite of everything, she wasn’t trying to talk Beca out of it. In fact, she was very grateful for the help; it felt like a strangely nice bonding activity of some kind, taking care of the kittens together. While she watched Beca and Green from the corner of her eye, Chloe’s gaze drifted toward the box, sad smile tugging at her lips. “They do. I just feel bad for their mom. Their real mom,” she corrected, lifting the kitten up to talk in a baby voice, “I guess we’re your foster moms now, huh?”

Being careful not to let her gaze slip again, Chloe only nodded to Beca’s response. “Mm, when I got my navel piercing it bled for a whole week.” She paused, a look of horror creasing onto her face. “Wait, they’re not… bleeding, right?”

BECA MITCHELL

“I mean, captaining the Bellas for three years was pretty much like herding cats most of the time anyway. This shouldn’t be much different.” Beca’s heart cracked with empathy when Chloe mentioned the kittens’ mother, but then thumped harder at Chloe uttering the phrase foster moms. Like--both of them, doing this together. 

She wrinkled her nose with sympathy and shook her head. “No, no bleeding. They’re just, like--super fucking sensitive? Especially in the shower. Yikes.” Beca winced. “I guess they’re not as sore as a few days ago, so that’s good.”

CHLOE BEALE

Chloe giggled at the mental image, head nodding along in agreement. “I guess. Kittens are crazy, though. Like, even more than the Bellas. Especially when they get a little bigger and want to run around all night.” She really had gotten them into something here, but there was something exciting about it too, sharing this big task, and Chloe couldn’t quite put her finger on exactly what.

Her eyes immediately shot back toward the kitten, because Beca totally didn’t mean that kind of sensitive, but Chloe’s mind began to race somewhere it definitely shouldn’t. “Mm,” she hummed nonchalantly, keeping herself busy with shaking the syringe a little bit to keep Purple awake. “Then they’ll be better in no time. Be thankful you’re not a cat, if you were then the kittens would be suc—” She caught herself, trailing off and pulling the syringe carefully away, before settling the kitten down on its belly. “Gonna let your brother and sisters have some now, pretty girl?”

BECA MITCHELL

“I dunno, dude… drunk Bellas might be on that level.” She chuckled, a few specific college memories flashing in front of her eyes. (Literally flashing, in Stacie’s case.) Green Goblin yawned and licked his lips once more. Beca snickered. “Speaking of--are you milk drunk, buddy? You look like you’re ready for a nap.” 

Beca’s eyes popped wide and she blinked at Chloe, amusement twisting up the corners of her mouth as she scrunched up her nose yet again. “You’re such a weirdo,” she reminded Chloe for what must’ve been the ten thousandth time throughout their friendship. “Yeah, let’s switch it up. I’ll take Red.”

[imaginariumrpc]

okay so the lovely @imbicilite​ / @whitrph​ and i were talking and it gave me the idea and we thought it was a great idea to spread it around so here’s how it goes: when talking with someone about pretty much anything tbh, but especially for something that could potentially be triggering, communicate with color codes based on city traffic lights ! GREEN means it’s good to talk about these things and you’re not feeling triggered by the topic, YELLOW means to slow down or stop talking about the topic at for now while RED means to stop the conversation about the topic immediately until green again where the conversation can divert into another topic or they feel safe to talk about it again !! this is EXTREMELY important, because it’s a way to alert others that you’re going to be talking about something that could possibly upset someone because of the subject matter, especially for those who may get triggered by a certain topic - even without you realizing it because squicks and triggers can honestly be anything, it could be different words or phrases or certain topics - and can cause severe anxiety in those affected, even panic attacks or flashbacks, and because we want to be considerate and respectful towards one another, it’s important that we use these to help our friends and fellow rpers know that we’re going to be posting or talking about something they might not want to see or talk about, and it’s of utmost importance to make them feel safe, it’s best to use this to be a more supportive friend and a member of the rpc!!

on a sidenote, i’m also here to tell you about tone indicators !! keep in mind that i didn’t come up with nor invent the concept of tone tags itself, but it was being spread around for a while now and i’d figured i’d talk about it !! essentially, tone indicators are used to indicate if the person is joking, being serious, etc., neurodivergent people often have trouble conveying and understanding emotion and tone through written text, using tone indicators is really helpful for neurodivergent people to make it easier for them to read/convey, it is also very helpful for people with anxiety. i encourage anyone who reads this to also type the meaning of the tone tag ( i.e: i love you !! /p for platonic ), so it is more accessible for neurodivergent and disabled people, like those who use screen readers.

“why should we use tone tags?” one might ask, but as an autistic, disabled and otherwise neurodivergent person myself, sometimes i don’t always get my friends and fellow mutual’s tones by their message but when they use tone indicators, it helps me understand and, not to mention that it can be really helpful and avoid misunderstandings. i would also like to note that NOT ALL neurodivergent people want you to use tone indicators on them, so if they don’t want you to use tone tags on them, please respect their wishes.

“i don’t like tone tags!” one might add, well, okay... but don’t make fun of the people that use them, it’s not a big deal, and if you’re a neurotypical who insists on not using tone tags when a neurodivergent person clearly asked you to, get your head out of your ass.

“using /j at the end of a joke ruins it!!” one might bitch, and okay but... it might be ruined for you, but it still makes me laugh, personally, so please try and get used to it, and not to mention, what’s more important: making sure you’re clear with your tone so that there’s no misunderstandings or throwing a fit just because the joke’s ruined for you?

additionally, some other things to keep in mind !! please do not mock the use of tone tags, you may not need them but some people do, not everyone can tell when something is a joke, when someone’s either being platonic, romantic or sexual in intentions, etc.,, especially when there’s no visual cues or tones of voice to help us, just be nice about it, it’s... really not hard, man. if you don’t use a tone tag and someone reads the tone of your statement incorrectly, do not get upset with them or laugh at them for not getting it - that is perpetuating ableism and/or sanism, whether you intentionally intend it or not. just kindly clarify and next time, keep in mind that tone tags are very helpful for neurodivergent, disabled and people with anxiety disorders. using a tone tag isn’t an excuse to be mean either, you can’t just say something mean or not cool and then put /j ( “joking” ) after it to get away with it, don’t be an ass. if you’re saying something that could be anxiety inducing for others, i would highly recommend putting the tone tags at not only the end but also the beginning of that post. do not intentionally use tone tags incorrectly “as a joke”, to confuse people, etc., the entire point of tone tags is to clarify, not confuse people, if you intentionally use them incorrectly, you’re an ass. keep in mind that no one has to use all the tone tags, use what you’d like, respect others who use what they would like, use them however feels rights to you. for me personally, sometimes i use multiple, sometimes only one, or sometimes none at all, just do what feels right, depending on who i’m talking to and how long i’ve known this person or group of people i’m speaking to, it’ll be fine, and if someone asks for clarification on what you mean, that’s okay, kindly clarify for them. additionally, please be patient if people don’t know what tone tags are, someone might not even be aware of what they are and that’s not their fault, just patiently explain it to them or link them to a source !! education always helps !! please don’t use “/srs or serious” as a joke, some neurodivergent and/or disabled people don’t need you to use three tone tags, and in my case, i’m presuming you’re neurotypical if you’re doing that when conversing with me, but what i’m trying to say is it looks like you’re babying us neurodivergents / disabled folx, so try to use only two tags ( that is, if that person is okay with it !! ), because some people don’t need you to use three tags.

please note that the following aren’t every single example out there and there are different terminologies in different languages, but they are important, a few examples of these are: 

“/j = joking / used when saying something in a joking manner, “so im pretty much the president of oreos /j”, 

“/hj = half joking / used when saying something that’s kind of a joke but kind of serious / “well,,,,, im usually right /hj” / 

“/s or /sarc / refers to the opposite of what you really want to say / “i just [clenches fists] love...... being sad..... /s”, 

“/srs / used when saying something you really mean / “i really appreciate you /srs””, 

“/nsrs = not serious / used when saying something not too seriously / “you’re the worst /nsrs”, 

“/lh = lighthearted = used when something’s said lightheartedly / “hEY LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS /lh” / i’d say something like this when me and my friends would get into a silly argument and they’re trying to ask my opinion on a topic”, 

“/ij = referring to something that’s only understood by people with special knowledge about something, typically only a small group of friends or a group of people would be aware of, those outside of the group would most likely be confused by it or not find it funny in the same way people within in the group would / “aAAAAAAAAA MY NUGGIES!!!!! /ij””, 

“/ref = a reference to media, usually movies, tv, music, etc., “yOU SHALL NOT PAAAAAAAASSSSSSS /ref”, 

“/t = teasing, use when teasing someone or provoking someone, often playfully, “aiight sure mx idk wtf im doin /t”, 

“nm = not mad, to indicate you’re not actually mad or upset about something / “ow... i felt that /nm”, 

“lu = a little upset / used when about about something or someone, but not too upset / “oh... that sucks /lu”, 

“/nbh = “nobody here” = often used when talking about something vague to ensure your friends it’s not indirectly to or about them / “sometimes i just wanna..... tell someone to shut the fuck up /nbh”, 

“/nay = not at you / used when saying something but not meaning it at the person you’re responding to / “god i can’t stand lame people /nay”, 

“/ay = “at you”, make the person aware you’re addressing them”, 

“/g or /gen = used when saying or asking something for real / “i’m proud of you /g” or “have you watched the news?? /gen”, 

“/th = threat, used when giving a genuine threat / “if you don’t stop, i’ll block you /th”, 

“/p = platonic, a friendship type of love, used when saying something with platonic intentions / “i love you /p”, 

“/r = romantic intentions, typically of partners when saying something with romantic intentions / “i love you /r””, 

“/a = alterous, an attraction best described as wanting emotional closeness without necessarily being at all or entirely platonic and/or romantic, used when saying with alterous intentions / “i love you /a””

“/m = metaphor / used when saying something metaphorically / “god you’re a shining star /m””

“/li = literal / used when saying something literally / “i hate pears /li””

“/rh = rhetorical / a question asked in order to create a dramatic effect or to make a point rather than to get an answer / used when saying or asking something rhetorically / “who cares? /rh””

“/hyp = hyperbole, exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally ; “i have a million things to do today”

“/sx = sexual intent, used when meaning something in a sexual way”, 

“/nsx = nonsexual intent, used when meaning something in a not sexual way”, 

“/pos = positive / used when saying something and meaning it in a positive way / “omg im gonna cry /pos”, implied they’re crying for a happy reason”, 

“/neg = negative / used when saying something and meaning it in a negative way / “omg im gonna cry /neg”, implied they’re crying for an upsetting reason”, and 

“/neu = neutral / used to show that what you’re saying is neutral or that you feel indifferent about it / “yeah i don’t care man do what you want /neu”, you don’t care about something but not in a mean or a negative way, you’re just indifferent”.

on a final note, HERE is a list of tone tags both in english and in other languages ( namely italian, spanish, portuguese, french, polish, german, lithuanian, serbian, dutch, indonesian, romanian, bulgarian, russian, hebrew, japanese, mandarin and korean !! ) and HERE are the list of sources about the content of tone tags !! i wish everyone reading this a lovely day !!