#also something i had to learn. even drawing for fun can get annoying. i HATED rendering until recently because i finally fell into a loop

[mealbits]

i think what i love the most abt ur art is that ur always drawing things you clearly enjoy and u can tell bc of the way ur works all look like they were made with love and i guess what im trying to say is how do i do that lol

I GET HOW U FEEL SO MUCH. truth is back in liiike 2020 i was exclusively creating art for this blog in a 'What Does My Audience Want?' mindset, and if you do want to get into fields that center around Art/Design for An Audience theres no harm in doing that in moderation(but back in 2020 it felt like all i did was make art for other people lmao). one major thing that helped me make this blog more about My Art for Me and less My Art for Someone Else was rethinking how and why i made art. my art was 'the thing i have to put on my blog today' but nowadays its more 'this project im doing to learn XYZ while also drawing what i want to draw' (i also have more projects and ideas overall because of it!!!! thats also something i noticed just now lol) that shadow gijinka i just posted used 2 be a ditched sketch from. last week? i forgot abt until i lined, colored, and rendered it just for fun (and to do some more paint-adjacent rendering cuz thats my jam) since i do plan to get into commission work this year i am aware i gotta prioritize more Art Studies and 'Learning how to draw for other people, figure out what they want, etc.' or whatever. uhhh tldr i wanted to get better at art without hating art so i do studies with shadow the hedgehog and anime girls.

[happy74827]

Chaos Theory

[Mike Schmidt x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: When Mike's crazy schedule finally aligns with one of the so-called "parental meetings" at Abby's school, he decides to see what it's all about. Little did he know he'd come to seriously regret that.

WC: 2,590

Category: Slight Fluff

I failed an exam today, so I wrote this to cheer myself up. I still feel pretty crappy, but this was really fun to write lol.

Also if you see any grammar mistakes, no you didn’t.

『••✎••』

When it came to Abby’s school, Mike was at a disadvantage. He couldn’t go to any of the parental meetings, not because he didn’t want to, but because he was constantly doing something work-related during the time those meetings were scheduled.

It didn’t mean he wasn’t keeping an eye on her grades and school attendance. It just meant he couldn't be there for the day-to-day things. Abby was a good kid, though; she never gave him trouble about the things he missed, and she did a pretty good job of keeping her grades up and attending all her classes.

Her teacher, you, was also very understanding of his schedule and position. He wasn’t sure how many teachers would have been as patient with him as you were. It was part of the reason he had grown fond of you, though it had been a gradual process that happened mostly unbeknownst to him.

At the beginning of the year, he had only been concerned about getting Abby acclimated to her new school. She was a quiet kid, stuck to her drawings, and it was even hard for him to get her to open up sometimes. Runs in the family, apparently. But, somehow, you were able to break down the wall that had been erected around her. Abby still didn't talk all that much, but she would always come back from school with a smile on her face. So, Mike was happy.

Then, like all good things, it came crashing down like a house of cards when his work schedule finally aligned with one of the “upcoming” meetings. This one was apparently a very big deal, and it was strongly implied to show up.

He hated these things despite never going to any before, but he just knew it would be filled with nosey people asking questions about his life. His sister. His “wife.”

God, he was already annoyed. The only saving grace was that it was the last meeting before the holiday break, so once it was over, he would be free for a while. Free to do what, exactly? Work, most likely, but a guy can dream.

The bell rang, signifying the end of the school day and the start of his personal nightmare. The door to the classroom was opened by one of the school's assistants, who held a clipboard in hand and waited for the “parents” to enter the room. He had arrived earlier than the scheduled time so he could speak to the assistant and find out what the meeting would entail, and already he knew it was a bad idea coming in here.

The woman was a nosy old biddy that was all too eager to learn the details of his and Abby's life.

He kept his answers short and clipped, but it did nothing to dissuade the woman. It got worse when he entered the classroom and saw the number of other parents who had shown up. He felt like an animal in a zoo; all the eyes followed his movements as he went to sit closest to the wall and away from the rest of the people.

The surrounding parents looked as though they lived in the next town over. They were clean-cut, hair styled perfectly, and clothes ironed. It was like they were trying to be a picture-perfect family.

He looked down at his own attire. His work boots were scuffed and dusty. His pants had a few grass stains from a recent job. His flannel shirt was buttoned wrong, and the sleeves were pushed up. Even his hair was a mess; he had tried to style it but didn't have much success, so he eventually gave up. The only thing going for him was that he had taken a shower before he left, so at least he didn't smell like sweat and grime.

As the meeting began, Mike had to try his best not to fall asleep. It was the typical teacher stuff. How the kids were doing. What the curriculum was for the following year. What their goals were. Blah, blah, blah.

Mike didn't care. He trusted you, and he knew his little sister was smart. She didn't need someone holding her hand and telling her what she was doing right or wrong. He knew this because he did that, and she didn't need it.

What did interest him, though, was the fact you kept looking his way. You didn't look at the others, and when you spoke, it was usually aimed toward them, but he saw the way you would look at him from the corner of your eye. He figured you were probably in shock that he actually showed up this time.

The meeting dragged on, and he was ready to leave. There were a few moments he had caught himself nodding off as he needed sleep, and this wasn't helping him. But then, like everything else in his life, the universe decided it was his time to suffer.

There was one woman who had sat at the front of the classroom. She wore her hair pulled back tight in a bun, her shirt was pressed, and her face was set in a permanent frown. He hated that lady; she reminded him of his good-for-nothing aunt who only wanted to criticize every choice he made.

The lady was also the mother of the most spoiled, brattiest child in the whole class. That damned kid had made it her life mission to torment Abby. He had come home more than once with her complaining about it, and when Mike had brought it up with you, you had told him that you had spoken with the parent.

That, of course, had done nothing. The child was an annoying pest, and he hated the way she treated Abby, but his sister had learned early on to deal with the bullying on her own. It didn't stop him from wanting to throttle the little shit, though.

The woman, the one who had started all his problems, took the opportunity to start a round of questioning. The first few were innocuous until they weren't.

"You seem to be a very patient woman." The woman had spoken to you, but her eyes were locked on him. "Is it a skill that was learned?"

The question itself was innocent enough, but the inflection and tone she used were meant to cut. He wasn't stupid. He knew she was alluding to something. It was always something, but he had to force himself not to say anything; the woman was a viper, and if he said something, she would attack without hesitation.

"I think anyone can be patient," You had responded diplomatically. "It's just a matter of the situation."

The woman didn't look happy with your answer, but she didn't pursue the line of questioning.

"Well, I couldn’t help but notice a certain someone who decided to finally drop in."

There it was. That was the opening.

Mike could tell you didn’t like the turn of conversation, and you were clearly trying to divert it elsewhere. It was no use, though. Mike could see the glint in the woman's eye as she prepared for the kill. She had a smile on her face, but her eyes were cold. "I was starting to think that Mr. Schmidt had abandoned his responsibilities. Wouldn’t be the first time someone in that family did such a thing."

He couldn’t help but have visions of his accidental mall incident from last year flash in his mind when he processed what the woman had said. He could easily hop over the desk and deck her right in the mouth. He had the muscle for it, and it was very tempting.

However, he would not.

If there was anything Mike had learned over the years, it was how to control his emotions, even if the situation was dire. The last time he had lost his cool, he ended up getting fired, but that was a long time ago… okay, not really, but the point was, he wouldn't make the same mistake again.

He wouldn't give the woman the satisfaction.

Mike leaned forward in his chair, arms crossed over his knees, and looked the woman straight in the eyes. "That's funny. I could say the same thing about your kid."

"Excuse me?!" She hissed, and she seemed offended. Good. He hoped she was offended.

"Okay, okay." You intervened, hands up as if to placate the two of them. "Let's keep this civil, okay? The last thing we want is to be kicked out of the school for brawling. That's not beneficial for any of us." You then looked back at the woman. "Let's not bring personal matters into this."

"Personal matters?" The woman was appalled at your statement, and her voice was so loud in the quiet room. He could tell many of the other parents were looking at them now, and he felt the weight of their gazes on him. It only made his anger spike. "That monkey of his tried to bully mine for three months now, and she's never done anything."

Monkey? Monkey?! Oh, he was going to kill her. It was one thing to talk shit about him; he was used to that, but Abby? No. Absolutely not. His little sister was the best damn thing to come into his life. He wouldn't have it.

But before he could say something, before he could even get out of the chair, you had done something he would never have thought you would. You got up and went to your desk, then you returned, holding a paper. You held it up for all the parents to see.

"This is a drawing my students did a few weeks ago," you started, and he was surprised at the level of calmness you were exuding. "The assignment was for them to draw the thing they loved the most."

Hearing those words, Mike had a feeling what was coming next, but he wasn't going to say anything. It would be like tempting fate. Still, he watched as you grabbed one of the papers, and then you turned it around so he could see it. Abby had done the drawing, and it was not only of him but of everyone else in her class as well. She had even drawn you standing near her with a kind smile. It was the picture she had brought home from that field trip months ago. It was a nice picture. Really nice. He liked it, and he knew Abby was proud of it.

"I made copies of every drawing so the parents could see them," You continued as you held out the picture for everyone to see. "So, tell me, would a bully do this?"

Your voice had a bite to it now, and he could finally see just how angry you were. He was surprised at how much control you were exerting. The other parents, however, were shocked at your sudden display of emotion. Even the woman, who had looked as though she was ready to take you on herself, looked like a deer caught in headlights. She didn't know what to say. No one said anything. Even he was shocked by your sudden outburst.

You were normally such a mellow person. Understanding, even. Always ready to listen, always ready to understand. You were the one who was there to help when something went wrong. You were the person who everyone turned to. You were… nice. You were a kind person. You were—you were just like Abby. That's all he saw in you now. You were just like his sister. You were just like her. You had that same determination and that same look of knowing something that others didn't, but there was also something else. You were a fighter, too. It was just something he hadn't noticed until this very moment.

You weren't the nice teacher everyone thought you were. No, you were more. You were the person he knew his sister was becoming.

"And to answer your question from before," you continued, ignoring the growing outrage from the other parent. "I'm a very patient woman because I understand that not everyone has the same opportunities. Some of us have a responsibility to provide the basic necessities for our family, which can often lead to not being able to attend these types of meetings.”

You looked directly at the woman when you spoke the last part, and you did not look happy. At all. In fact, he was pretty sure that was a little vein on the side of your head.

"Not everyone can be at their best every moment. Not everyone is at their best all the time. Not everyone has the privilege to complain about things not going their way. So, while I am a very patient woman, I will not have any of this derogatory about my students and their guardians." The calmness in your voice was gone, and your voice was rising, and you had started pacing back and forth behind your desk as you spoke. "Because if there is one thing that I cannot stand, it's someone who criticizes others just to make themselves feel better."

You went on to speak about your experience with the woman's daughter, explaining that a meeting needed to be called upon to address the issues with the child. You didn't stop there, though. No, you also spoke about how she should have addressed the situation when it was first brought up and how that, in turn, impacted the rest of your class. You had even pointed out some of the other parent's children who had done the same thing.

Suddenly, this meeting wasn't as bad as he thought it would be.

It took a while, but once you finished your little speech, everyone had finally gotten over their shock and embarrassment. The meeting, as such, continued without incident, and by the time it was all said and done, Mike was ready to go home.

As he stood from his seat and made his way to the door, however, you stopped him. You had your bag in your hand and your coat on as well.

"I just wanted to—"

"You don't need to apologize," Mike cut you off. He didn't want an apology. He knew you weren't at fault here. In fact, he was surprised you took the time even to defend him. That didn't happen often. "I was expecting something like that to happen, but I appreciate you speaking up for Abby. She's got a good teacher."

He thought you would be embarrassed or even annoyed, but instead, your face lit up, and your cheeks turned red. "Oh, uh, well, it's my job. It was what I needed to do."

"Maybe, but you did it anyway. So, I appreciate it." He looked around the room and noticed everyone else had left. Even the nosy assistant had disappeared. He didn't know what to say, so he settled with saying the first thing that came to mind. "And hey, maybe next time you can tell them this is why I don't go to these meetings."

Your laugh was light, and you had a smile on your face. He liked the sound of it. He liked seeing it, too. He also liked the way it lit up your eyes. They had a beautiful color. So bright, so shiny. It was almost hypnotic.

"I'll consider it."

Mike wasn't sure how, but somehow, he knew you were telling the truth.

[sourpatchys]

My personal Shigaraki Tomura Headcannons that I will defend with my life

—

He’s actually pretty shy. He keeps to himself, he’s not going to tell you about his interests unless he trusts you with his life, he won’t even so much as share his favorite foods with you if he doesn’t know you well enough. Not because he’s afraid you’ll make fun of him for it— he just genuinely finds opening up to be embarrassing and prefers not too if he can help it.

He never lost his love for video games and he still thinks about strategies with a lot of the terms in mind. Being the leader of the league of villains and losing the original hide out made him pull the break on his hobby’s.

He likes to draw. He figured out at an early age that art doesn’t take all five fingers. It started as something silly he did when he didn’t feel like paying attention to kurogiri, and steadily over the years it’s become something he relies on to help with stress

He wears all black because he’s too lazy to figure out what looks good. He does care about his appearance, but not badly enough to go through multiple outfits.

He’s actually really self conscious of the scars on his face. He thinks they make him look weak, unkept and disgusting. If he could change anything about himself he’d get rid of them in an instant.

Due to his self conscious nature regarding his looks— he’s super on top of everything else. As a kid he was so worried about looking the way he does and smelling, that he actually had to be temporarily banned from using cologne and body spray because of how overwhelming it got for everyone around him.

He has insanely good handwriting. It’s actually really alarming to see for the first time.

His internal dictionary is also pretty well established. Shigaraki is not afraid to use big words, and he tends to use extremely well put together sentences, both verbally and otherwise.

AFO made sure shigaraki had a proper education, even going as far as to hire private tutors, which is why his vocabulary is so top of the line.

(Sometimes while speaking the league will stop him midway through and ask him to use ‘normal people’ words)

He does have manners— some might even say he has an annoying amount of manners. And he will get pissed off if people don’t follow his footsteps, especially if the situation calls for it.

That being said he has never— and will never— sit in a chair properly. His legs are all over the fucking place and that’s how he likes it.

Growing up he wore mittens to bed to stop from absolutely disintegrating his mattress because he’s a stomach sleeper.

He sleeps with his mouth open, he drools AND he snores.

Contrary to what you may think, he’s not going to be an angry spiteful boyfriend.

He takes everything to heart because he hates everything, that’s who he is and that’s what he does! But he doesn’t hate you. So he will learn to take things with a grain of salt when it comes to you.

He’s not going to be a confrontational type of guy with you, he knows it wouldn’t solve anything if he came in with guns blazing. He doesn’t want you to ever see him that angry as long as he can help it.

He’s not going to apologize if things go wrong on his end though— at least not vocally. Honestly he doesn’t even know how to apologize, so you’ll just get a gift or some tighter cuddles that night compared to usual.

He’s afraid of spiders. He thanks the universe every single day that there isn’t some weird ass mutated spider hero that he has to deal with.

His “rebellion phase” was just him trying to overcome his murderous thoughts. (It didn’t work)

This man loves loitering. It’s the stupidest crime there is and he genuinely cannot get enough of it.

It took him an embarrassingly long time to understand that not everyone had endless amounts of money. Growing up he could order or buy whatever he wanted, so he just assumed that’s how the world worked for everyone until his early teens

If he were to start developing feelings for you, he wouldn’t know what the hell was going on. “Love” and “attraction” are not emotions he’s familiar with.

He will absolutely test out his theory by building a life with you in the sims.

Shockingly enough he’s not opposed to having kids. It’s just not something he’d ever think about unless you were to bring it up.

He has a My Chemical Romance hoodie tucked into the very back of his closet.

He collects vinyl records

He doesn’t like animals but if he had to choose between a dog or a cat he’d choose a cat.

Yes— he does own a pair of pink fuzzy bunny slippers, your suspicions are correct. (They’re so comfortable but he’d never been caught dead wearing them)

As a kid he collected bottle caps, he still has one he carry’s around with him as a good luck charm

He constantly forgets to tell you where he’s going and how long he’ll be gone— and he’s never on his phone so don’t expect him to answer your texts or calls if you’re worried.

A Domesticated shigaraki is just like having an old man as a pet. He complains— is a little too good at playing chess— is always wearing some kind of pajamas and smells like aftershave

Has the largest sweet tooth you’ve ever encountered. This guy could eat an entire cake in a single sitting and not get nauseous.

He either won’t eat at all and then gets pissed because he’s hungry or he’ll eat too much and get pissed that he’s full

He keeps a small sketch book on him at all times and 80% of the pages are of you

He’ll eat anything once, including shit he finds on the floor

One of his front teeth is fake, the adult tooth literally just never grew in

He hates hero’s but sometimes in order to get ideas he reads old marvel comics

He’s a green goblin stan

He has a “shoot first ask questions later” mentality that no one can take away from him. He simply does not gaf what your reasons are

He’ll kill anyone regardless, but he goes a lot harder on people with outdated opinions

[violetjedisylveon]

oh~ how about a child Wukong, going to different universes of ur au,

ALL THE INFORMATION ABOUT CHILD!WUKONG

this child Wukong is just innocent and doesn’t have a clue what’s going on, he stutters whenever he thinks he had done something wrong, he loves to eat peaches and draw a lot, discovers about shadows one day when he was locked in, he played with his hands and is always finds a way to make shadow animals or try his best to make a story but of course he fails to make one, he made a friend that’s a shadow that he made up to talk to someone,called ‘Macaque’ and he is the same age as Child!Wukong except only 2 months old.

he was born in a stone and woke up, he is so fluffy and squishy that u can’t even hurt this little sun.

he lives in a rich family but this family is not a welcoming family at all, he was kidnapped and was taught to be proper and clean monkey and to be obidient to their so called ‘parents’ of his, because of old family sold him off and the rich family see this Child!Wukong as a trophy or an object, poor Bebe was being punished or locked in a room to be staying for only 2 weeks long then anything else whenever he makes a mess to help them or become to annoying/nosey, even trying to make a gift, it ends up with him getting yelled at.

child!Wukong still is a cheerful and kind little monkey that doesn’t let this get through with his moment, he will always help out and try to do his best to help and be kind to others. He had to learn how to make food and do stuff all by himself with no help at all, but maybe only one maid that only took pity and helped him make meals and taught him how to be clean and change. (But so later maid was fired that child!Wukong doesn’t know why tho)

Child!Wukong is small, like he is a size of mk hips or Mei, or kinda shorter then bai he, with his fur being curly and soft, his eyes being gold, some scars that was from his parents on his bodies and small scars on his hands are from the knives he had use to cut fruits, and a tiny bruise from one of his eyes, if any of ur lmk au see it, (if anyone tries to ask about it, Wukong will blurt out and tell the truth but will say that it’s okay and he might have deserved that), his clothing choice is a red pants with golden lines and a rainbow line of a sleeve shirt that has a peach on it in the middle.

he has a sunflower hair pin on his kinda long hair, of course, his father say that it’s too girly and he should act like a boy but child!Wukong loves cute things and flowers, so he is a flower boy.

so my friend, what will ur lmk all aus say to this Child!Wukong and react to his story, will they all be kind,angry,pity or maybe hateful towards this Child!Wukong because he is the Wukong every aus sees, but maybe he is not.

(Also sorry about this, u don’t have to answer but maybe u can have fun with it and ur not gonna find out who am I…..😁)

hi @fresastar, how you doing?

(sorry I'm taking long to and the other ask you sent, it's buried in the drafts😅)

First off, Child!Wukong's "family" is dead and they are finding that au's equivalent of Yuze and Chūn (ocs who are either his bio moms or adopted moms in my aus🥰) to get him a proper damn childhood!

He's getting a good and happy family that loves him, and this time his parents don't die!

The initial reaction from almost all of the Wukongs is "oh it's a fresh out of the egg untraumatized me" then once they learn about his "family" it's a "oh it's adorable 🥰 oh it's traumatized😰" moment. King's Game Wukong is just like "what's with this lost child? Why's it look like me?" Child!Wukong is very scared of him, he's got bad vibes.

For Rotten Fruit Wukong it's just "oh it's be after my moms were killed and before I realized nobody gave a shit about me. Hope that goes better for you little guy."

All the Macaques are just like "aww, memories of the good times" and then switch to murder mode when they find out about his family.

Child!Wukong is a sweet, innocent baby, he's literally a Wukong who's done nothing wrong, so it's really hard to not like him.

For Cracked Family, it depends on when in the timeline he's sent.

If it happens when Chao-Xing is between 1-9, it's good, the family just treats him like he's another one of the troops cubs. He gets to play with all the other monkeys and it's a little weird that one of his new friends is his kid, but that's not really something he needs to think very hard about he's just having fun. He's also very happy that he gets a pretty husband in the future!

If it's 1-2 years after that, well he's just landed himself in the middle of what I affectionately call Devil Town Ver. 2 part of the timeline, which is not fun for him to witness because now he sees what could happen to him in the future, things could get really bad, and what if it's inevitable and this bad thing has to happen.

If it's any point after that, it's not fun at all for him, it's really sad, and CF Chao-Xing is telling him to not fuck up as a parent in the future.

That's really the most complicated it gets, he gets to chill and have fun with any kids in all the other aus. And he gets a proper family at the end of it because none of these monkeys are letting him go back to those assholes!

Thanks for asking!

[sodachalice]

one last thing

if you truly, genuinely, absolutely feel like your thoughts and desires and controls are out of hand, i would suggest looking into information about POCD and structural dissociation. what you are describing ARE symptoms of trauma and are most importantly symptoms of POCD if you are genuinely distressed about it and cannot control it. you don't have to be stuck like this. it isn't about "getting rid of the thought forever the end" its about learning how to become a healthy person around it. acknowledging why it happens and understanding the reality of the situation. childhood trauma (and im sure other types but my knowledge lies in childhood trauma) frequently causes your brain to associate certain things with abstract biological desires and needs, if your parent does the same exact thing every time you are being put to bed, you will associate that thing with feeling sleepy and as you grow up and it's continued, it will become a habit or a pattern. something that you associate with sleep. that doesn't mean you are forever stuck forcing your mother to rub your back so you could fall asleep, you know? maybe you will need to do unconventional fixes for it if youre that reliant on a specific sort of stimuli on your back but like, thats what everyone does for everything? that's sort of what MAKES a person. is the choices you make to give you the stimulus your brain desires. while sexual arousal is obviously more serious than the hypothetical i described, the idea is the same. there are abstract or "weird" ways to get what you need, i promise you, the human brain develops and changes and grows and heals and shrinks and warps all the time. but you have to be conscious about it. you have to make choices. sometimes youll be surprised at what you find too. sometimes you find out it isnt because of xyz trauma you had, its actually just because you have some "offputting" desire that you're trying to fantasize your way out of enjoying (this seems to be very common from what ive heard, and ive experienced it too) and the more mainstream or popular fetish was the only way you could "socially acceptably" be into it. this is WHY i bring up that pedophilia and incest specifically being like THE fetishes on pornhub. because, dude. its fucking everywhere. it is fucking everywhere. i really hate to say it man, but everywhere except for tumblr and MAYBE twitter idealizes pedophilia and incest. our presidents have done it, its all over our media everywhere we look, there are constantly dudes just openly talking their opinions about how "14 is the age of fertility" about fucking snow white on youtube. its EVERYWHERE. this is why you can't fall into the trap of "im thinking about it that means im a pedophile" or "im thinking about it that means im sick and twisted" because dude. its everywhere. it is everywhere.

this is also why i bring up the fact that the beekeeper troll in homestuck got removed and the artist got made fun of for making macro/micro porn, and drawing porn of their homestuck design (with hussies permission) got completely removed from the game, but the proshipping fantroll limeblood made by a proud proshipper is still in the game. even homestuck as a whole itself as a story can be included. incest and pedophilia is ok, but weird taboo fetishes are BAD! because theyre CRINGE. and ANNOYING. and if im into them that means im not only a sexual deviant but a (not very nice word for a mentally disabled person) too. because the threat of that is bigger than the threat of drawing child porn. this also plays into societies general distaste and hatred for survivors of SA, and especially CSA. CSA survivors are very typically socially underdeveloped and struggle socially intensely due to the ptsd at such a young age causing their social skills to stunt, and this causes them to often struggle with skills in adulthood. im speaking from experience, but also from others experience. and it isn't cute, it isn't shy cutesy behavior depicted in the movies. its bad hygiene, its sexual obsessions, its a lack of understanding of social skills and roles, it can be inappropriate behavior to other people or paraphilias, it can be rage issues, it can be delusions and psychosis, it can be a lack of social information, or an inability to regulate their emotions or lose processing ability. and these are all traits of people who are (not a very nice word for a mentally disabled person) and also all traits of societies idea of what ive been calling a biological predator. there is no sympathy for an adult with these behaviors until theyve proven themself innocent, if they even can. many times people can repress all of these traits but that doesn't mean they go away, it means they get worse. like ignoring an infected tooth. because repressing these traits means repressing the trauma that caused them, and repressing the trauma that caused them means creating a bigger and bigger dissociative barrier between concious and subconcious selves. the goal is to not repress. the goal is to learn how to accept and live and grow away from repressing, to be able to smush subconcious and concious together because....thats... what healthy people have. the ability to interact with their subconcious with their concious, understand their desires and needs and to be able to rationalize with themselves what is more important. their needs and desires, or other people. and those choices are what makes a person, but if you repress you are denying yourself of those choices.

i find the way we talk about pedophiles in general extremely bioessentialist and it really disgusts me that people aren't willing to discuss it because its a lot of terfs mentalities are based off of this. that is their biggest fear. and the thing is, because its such a socially accepted idea, no ones unlearning it either regardless of whether theyre a terf or not. you all preach about forgiveness and anticallout culture and how people need to learn to move on and let people live, but the thing is this specific problem is so deeply deeply intertwined not just with fetishes but white supremacy, racism, fascism, and every other thing that trickles down from that (transphobia homophobia ableism etc etc) and i think its genuinely no coincidence we are seeing such a massive wave from it on all ends when we're literally in a rise of fascism. i think its really fucking scary we're tying these ideas to transness and sexual liberty as a whole, because... again..... there is nothing suppressing any of these concepts. pedophilia and incest are not kinks that aren't allowed to exist. they're concepts of violence that actively uphold core tenants of how we are expected to behave as a family unit and as a sexual being in the eyes of fascism. it implies you have no choice. more pedophiles means more inmates, can't get those if you actually focus on helping them recover, especially considering prison causes high repeat rates. more inmates means more slave labor. and less programs and ideas to help people get out of these mindsets means that people interpret it as a black and white situation. either you are a pedophile or you arent, and that causes people to become terrified they are one, and extremely hostile to any suggestion that they might be one. this doubles for survivors, who are in that gray area that isn't supposed to exist. people aren't supposed to see that gray area but they do through people who are like me and other survivors, and they don't see someone like them. they see a pedophile.

but you also have to understand that this idea isn't mutually exclusive to the idea that you should get better, you should put in the effort. because the thing is just because i don't believe that we should be fucking killing anybody with knives or locking them away for the rest of their lives doesn't mean i don't believe that pedophilia and incest are bad. they are extreme abuses of power against people who are seen as property in the eyes of the law and not conscious humans yet, and engaging in it as "faux"cest or ageplay, to me, says that you are too focused on your own trauma to consider how your engagement applies to ALLLLLLLLL of these ideas i listed just now. you are playing into white supremacist ideas, you are giving into the ideas that groomers and pedophiles force onto children about how their biology works. people are asking me how i feel about "what people do in their bedroom" and my question is well are there kids around? are you posting it online? are you talking about it in earshot of other people? are you showing it to people? are you begging random people (literal strangers. i dont care what you tell loved ones) for validation that youre normal and they accept you? if all of these answers are no, then i don't give a fuck? my concern isn't to police people, my concern is about how that power is being used against other people and normalized. and to me, that tells me that's an unwell person. i do not want that person in my life if they're not willing to genuinely attempt to work on themselves, because my entire outlook on life is essentially trying to improve things for younger generations. i want things to get better. i want people to heal.

i do think it contributes to a lot of things people say they're fighting against, and i think a big reason why its also seen as not a big deal to a lot of people is because when you get older and you stop hanging out with literal children, when you start forgetting your childhood, the idea of children and childhood become abstract. they are not tangible things, you can not return to it, you can never see it again, and you will never see the people you associated with "children" again, because they're adults now. i also think a majority of these people very well could also be only children, maybe the idea of siblinghood is already abstract to them because they've never experienced it outside of friends. maybe youve repressed so much that the idea was already abstract to you when you were a child (this is how i feel a lot of the time.) but.... thats. you. that is a very individualistic view of yourself, and that is what i mean when i say that i view it as selfish. you arent a child anymore, but that doesn't mean children don't exist anymore. that doesn't mean they aren't all around you, ESPECIALLY on the internet. kids are quiet on the internet. i know i was. i was quiet as shit on deviantart, i was shy as hell. or sometimes they're loud, and you don't notice them in your following. it doesn't mean they're not being shown it by one of your followers. these are the real consequences of posting these things online. and the thing is, the argument of "well i ended up fine" thing here doesn't work. because. you're here.

i don't have a solution. i can only do what i can do physically, and right now thats not very much. but i think we really need to fucking think about these things before we just start going around saying these are huge important things in the queer community or are in any ways tied to being trans or autistic or whatever the fuck anyone else is saying. its a scary idea to me that so many people are just really ready to give up and quit on themselves and the people around them. i suppose that connects back to the mutual doomerism around things politically right now. which.... yknow. again, a rise of fascism. all things are connected. i just think a lot of my people right now need a lot of help and a lot of good faith and deserve a lot of good faith, but i also feel like we're crab bucketing a lot, and this is the most insidious one to me. it really really worries me, not just in a "ewww this is yucky kink stuff" way but in a "this is a very large massive point of white catholicism and nazism that is skyrocketing right now in my own communities and i am really worried for the ones that are unaware."

[mellosdrawings]

You mentioned once you use an Ipad Pro... 11? To draw

Would you say that's beginner friendly? Not beginner in terms of art, but in terms of Ipad. Or both. Mainly I've never used an Ipad for art before. Tryna upgrade from using my thumb and phone for cheap

IPad Pro 11' 3rd generation

It's my first IPad and I got the hang of it pretty fast, so yeah I'd say it's fine even for someone who's never touched anything from Apple in their life.

I got to try it from a friend who let me draw on his own IPad for a couple days while he was busy and it immediately clicked for me.

App store and settings are mostly the same as for android tablets (or sometimes even easier to access), there are frequent updates that keep the system working just peachy, and other than that it's just like having a big phone.

I'd say the one mildly annoying thing is that downloading stuff that isn't from the app store is a nightmare and a half. I got Twst and other games on my phone that I never managed to get on the IPad because it's just a hassle to get unofficial stuff on there.

The other problem might be the price. It's an expensive investment, I had to save for almost a year to get it and the pen, but once it's bought it's durable and high quality. I'd say I've more than made it worth it with my 80Go worth of art on there.

Other than that though, it's pretty easy to get used to, and there are a big quantity of tutos online to help if you ever get stuck on something.

As for art, there are a few free apps you can try before deciding. For me it was a revelation, never had done digital art so easily before and I loved it (I used to fight with my tablet, my computer, and that godsdamned Phot*shop).

I got to try Procreate immediately thanks to my friend and bought it as soon as I got the tablet because it was simple to use and there were enough stuff on there to have fun. It's not as complete as Phot*shop but it never bothered me. Plus it's just a dozen euros once and then you have it, not a subscription that will bleed you dry (yes I hate Phot*shop, thank you for asking). And it saves on its own so no need to worry about losing hours of progress because it crashed :D

And once more, a lot of tutos online to learn to use Procreate. I'm still learning to use it to this day because I've never needed to use its full potential.

(Also there are a few 3D conception programs and other room planners that are soooooo good and practical for artists who can't be bothered with backgrounds or accessories. I do 3D models and then take screenshot to retrace in Procreate, which saves time when those are backgrounds and accessories that come up very regularly. And they haven't yet crashed on me even though I used to fight with my computer and Blender 3D to make chairs before. The full version can be pricy (or subscription based, yuk) but the free/trial versions tend to be enough for me)

TLDR: I personally got used to it very fast, and I never got much to complain about. It's an excellent tool for creating that is very stable.

[au-drayton-shenanigans]

//ooc

Art I did at church (several weeks worth)

First up! I had wanted to sketch out a design plan for a vampire au Drayton :] A lot looks cool about him but it ain't perfect

Wizard being a disney princess again. He's always like this when people aren't around. Nobody know this except Cloak Guy (because he spies for the drama) and the Amarys from Wizard's universe (because they're friends. She's like the only non-creature he gets along with voluntarily). Might tell the story of that if someone wants. Preferably by annoying Wizard about it :)

Cloak guy in one of his many bird forms. With the apocalypse au squad. Kieran (the werewolf) hates him. Carmine (the small bat) also does. Bat is hoping there's not about to be any blood to clean up. Not sure what Crispin is doing but he's very amused. Cloak guy himself is taunting Kieran because he thinks it's funny up until the death threats come out and he starts apologizing pathetically to Kieran. Average tuesday.

I should learn how to draw Nightmare in his .. nightmare form. Since it's kinda hard to tell that this Drayton ain't normal without looking closely. He's still scared of his loyal followers. If he looks calm, he's actually having a moment of not being all the way there if ya catch my drift. Poor dude. Those horrifying puppies(?) and the big one only want love

If I could remember how to draw pokemon better I probably would. Mainly if I draw pokemon I stick to the ones I think I remember well enough. But Cloak guy can go to other universes so it's not exactly inaccurate to imagine a scene like this. That singular torchic is pretty confused though XD

I don't draw Kieran much so I don't know if I got anything wrong

(I was very tempted to not put context behind that because the idea of forgetting Kieran so hard he becomes a horse got to my broken humor. I promise I don't hate Kieran. Broken humor is just broken humor.) Anyways. Why's he a horse? Apocalypse au Kieran is just weird like that. Well not exactly. Full context would be too long for this post but basically he gained the ability to turn into a centaur thing after gaining control of a previously thought uncontrollable power. Surprising even cloak guy. But he's also a werewolf. Imagine how it would be if he went wolf while in centaur-form. It would look pretty cool I think. The bag placement is intentionally like that because apocalypse au Kieran wears his like that. Oh and Bat is in the picture too- in bat form. Figured it would be weird to not have a Drayton in the picture if I want to be posting my art on here. Could post it on my main blog since it's not Drayton exclusive and then reblog it here mentioning it for the Drayton pictures technically but I don't wanna.

Cloak guy was happy to discover that Abra-Star has interest in weapons too. Now he has someone to play in the weapons room with. Nobody is leaving that room without cuts because they're both immature immortals who are about to stab each other recreationally

Cloak guy's interest in weapons is purely because he thinks it's fun to pose with them. Meanwhile there's something more sinister hidden under Abra-Star's seemingly perpetual calmness.

Anyways that's it

[luvtonys]

Hi

Good night/morning/afternoon

Are you taking requests? (Just to confirm)

If yes then can you make an elmax (separated or together) x reader soft headcanons???

If no then please ignore this and thank you for reading

Ofcourse I am and I will I’ll do them separately

𝐒𝗼𝐟𝐭! 𝐉𝐚𝐧𝐞 𝐇𝗼𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐫 (𝐄𝐥)/ 𝐌𝐚𝐱𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝 𝐱 𝐆𝐍! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

*non sexual*

Warnings: none

—————

𝑆𝑜𝑓𝑡! 𝑀𝑎𝑥𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑀𝑎𝑦𝑓𝑖𝑒𝑙𝑑

♫☀︎︎☆༆

I can see max being quite protective of you and is often there whenever a classmate or her brother is giving you trouble. She’s loves to watch movies and eat snacks with you or just eating snacks together. She definitely teases you with a smile on her face thinking about how cute you look when you make a fake annoyed face at her. She loves going to amusement parks with you and getting on scary roller coasters and laughs about how scared you look.

She very much does enjoy her time with you wether it be the silly and goofy stuff or the legit kinda romantic stuff. She’s all for trying something new if you want to wether it be new food or a new place that just opened up. Max loves it when she can talk to you about Billy or just something she’s frustrated on and when you comfort her she can’t help but smile. She puts a lot of trust and respect into you so often she tries not to yell or cuss if you reason with her now to.

Spending time with her is often very fun like going to the mall shopping or getting clothes she’s also really good at making you feel better especially when your down or had a bad day. She’s full of fun and just wants you to have the best experiences with her possible. You guys laugh a lot your the dynamic that when one of you look at each other you both laugh a lot of inside jokes between you too is pretty often.

She hates when Billy tries to get involved and when she has enough of him trying to push you away from her she’ll take matter into her own hands since you just may be the best things that’s happened to her since she’s moved to Hawkins. She’s all for showing you tricks on her skateboard that she’s still learning but most of the time you’ll have to watch her for her so she doesn’t fall. She enjoys the little cute dates you guys have it could be at a park enjoying ice cream or any snack of that kind or just in her room reading comics and discussing random topics that you guys are interested in. She is annoyed with everyone else but you she’ll always smile when your around and finds you company very comforting.

—————

𝑆𝑜𝑓𝑡! 𝐽𝑎𝑛𝑒 𝐻𝑜𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑟/𝐸𝑙

♥︎☻︎❀𖣘

El loves to be close to you and even loves matching with you wether it be outfits or accessories she loves the cute couple type thing. Even though you guys are dating you still have a type of bff thing going on. Whenever girl problems come to her she always calls you since she trusts you a lot. You guys’s dates will mostly be small but cute things like hanging out on the beach and enjoying each other’s presence. Enjoys sharing meals with you and trying your food as well or you introducing her to new foods and having a full day dedicated to trying new foods.

She loves to gift you little things that she makes for you like a drawing or a little crochet heart. She’s is definitely clingy and loves to have her arm around yours and her head on your shoulder she finds it peaceful. She also hates when you guys come to disagreements and will even cry after thinking that your furious and her and might end things so when she sees you at school she’ll wave you down and try to make things better. She’ll even be crying while apologizing and will be so relieved and joyful when you say you forgive her.

Her separation anxiety tends to strike her when you go somewhere like a party without her scared that you may forget about her and when you do come back she’ll be all over you cuddling and smiling. She’s always at her happiest when with you she may even ask someone else like for relationship advice or how to keep you happy. Whenever you sad or just down she’s always the first person to ask about you and spam calls on your house phone.

God forbid if you ever get hurt or end up in the hospital she’ll be shaking and having nightmares on what could continue to go wrong for you. So when you heal you’ll have to let her know and see you before anyone else she just has that type of motherly love for you. She’ll always charge at any monster before they even come close to you. And thinking about fuels her anger. So she always wants to be around you and checks up on you often and asks your parents about you as well.

[glitterp9rfait]

Idk if this is a hot take or not but whatever I just want to rant. I miss 2012 - 2020 youtube or just social media in general in that time. Everything is so boring now I don't find any joy in things anymore. I HATE how everyone is so terrified of being corny or cringe now. People just like to bully and hate now. I hate people who hate on people for having fun like who give a fuck if they cringe you bozo. People are not original anymore, People stick to one formal instant of doing what they enjoy personally so they don't get bullied or get called "cringe" for it. Also I hate how PEOPLE WHO AIN'T EVEN ARTISTS or is IDC Hate on bringer artists like go get a job you freak instead of hating on people who are trying to actually learn how to draw instead of those freaks who sit on their lazy asses and use ai instead actually learning, I'm so tired of this sh1t low key, no one anymore wants to be fun. People will literally dress like anything even if they don't like it just because their favorite social star fucking wear it, it's is fuckin insane and same to them people who don't like something because it popular like are you brain dead, Also people now lack so much empty for each other it is wild. People can't be themselves without worrying so much and it's annoying and it fuckin stupid. EVERYONE GONNA DIE ONE DAY AND PEOPLE STILL GONNA JUDGE EVEN THEN YOU DIED ALIVE YOUR LIFE AND STOP GIVING A FUCK ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT YOU. HAVE FUN. this what people are missing, its JUST FUN AND ORIGINALITY. people are so glued to their phone and what trending and new drama instead worrying about actual stuff. people are being killed every single day and shit and you worried about what someone said what your damn favorite influencer/show or game it stupid. Seriously though I'm not saying everyone, I'm just talking about how people are robots and have no mind of their own. I was watching old videos on YouTube I watched it It really made me realize this was actually people doing it because it was fun to me and was a way to find more people who enjoy it. Also people are obsessed with politics now I'm not saying anything wrong with politics but people get way too into it to the point they make it their whole personality. Like dude have fun you don't know if you're gonna die you can die anytime just think about it like that, That's what is wrong with this generation people don't know how to have fun anymore. You wouldn't want to die knowing you didn't have fun, like I feel like tumbler is the only safe place for me and yes there's toxicity on here too but it's normally safe for me. Sorry for the rent. Have a nice day. <33 And of course I'm not saying people weren't wannabe edgelords or had problems then, the difference between then and now is that they idgaf and still made their stupid fun videos and still had fun. Not everything is bad now Like I'm happy people are talking about how poc and trans and gay people are treated, that one of the few things I love, I luv see more black creators get their recognition. Also people need to realize there are more things to worry about than being cringe like THERE FUCKING genocide going on in countries and countries who miss treat women and trans and gay people.

[justthemoonz]

Over the course of several years I've had a really hard time struggling to do things due to shit that happened to me in the past due to being bullied, losing people I love, losing my pets, and other personal issues (that involve even grosser things)

Brushing my teeth, showering, helping clean the house etc. stuff like this ended up just becoming something I couldn't do, even if I really forced myself to (I had to go to the dentist twice or three times in order to get my teeth fixed because I just couldn't brush them)

The only thing that kept me going were my friends, but at times I felt like none of them really cared about me, or that I was too annoying for them, it's how I ended up losing most of them at one point

But drawing has always kept me going, no matter what, I've always drawn

There was a time where I used to draw for others, because I wanted to be popular and known, but overtime that started to make me feel like shit too and even almost got me to stop drawing for a good while also

And yet, I just never did stop drawing, but instead of drawing for others, I've drawn for myself, no matter how cringy or shit the drawing was, I didn't care, because I was drawing for myself and that made me happier

Being in high school also helped me overcome my shyness, I was a really shy kid back in school, my teachers always told me to "stay in my own bubble" while my classmares were constantly bullying me for being younger than them, even going as far as to hurt me physically and leave me with a crack on my head for about a week

But high school was a lot more fun, it made me feel like I could really speak for myself, and I even ended up making friends there that despite I don't really keep contact with all that much I still appreciate them and the way they helped me, even if they'll never know that

After finishing high school and learning how to draw for myself rather than for others I felt like I could do it again, I ended up being able to brush my teeth, shower, and do other things I wasn't able to do before again

Now I'm here, I feel much happier despite still having a few bad days here and there, and I feel like I can do anything I couldn't do before

Despite the losses and harm I've faced, I still love the friends I still have, the family I still have, the pets I still have

And I love being able to be happy for myself and love myself, even if I was bullied into hating myself for who I am

[purplepuddlesuwu]

Small Vent cause stressed ahhhh

Lowkey think people take games, anime, books,movies, shows and just fandoms in general waaaay too seriously.

Like yes I get it, it can suck when a character to adore gets misrepresented by others. But they are just fictional characters at the end of the day. Maybe I'm just mostly saying this to myself to remind myself that it's okay that someone doesn't see a character like how I do. Because I'm deadass in multiple fandoms where we really just go but wild with our own versions of the characters. Like I'm in the Warrior cats AND the My hero academia fandom... And both of them are known for taking the canon and wiping their buts with it and or ignoring older material. Because well it just happens.

At first I use to get upset about it like how the warrior fandom made Bramblestar out to be this abusive monster without acknowledging the archs before hand and how in My hero academia doing.... Literally anything lmao(I love y'all though... Half of you anyway)

But seriously I just started to realize that the fandoms I'm in aren't My fandoms like I don't own them and I don't own the source material or the IP or whatever. And sometimes you never know why someone images certain characters they way they do. Whether it's for comfort or they think it's funny or they find it attractive or just to annoy people or literally just whatever.

But I always gotta remind myself that hey... THE BITCHES AIN'T REAL LMAO. Why get pressed about how other people illustrate characters. Like seriously I had to sit myself down like I was my own parent and ask myself why do I care about a fictional character being written out of character or drawn with a different design. And I really was just like... Damn yeah why do I care? These artists/writers are having fun and that's what it means to be in a fandom to just have fun.

The only time when I do get serious is when people try to harass others for characters they like because of how they see them vs canon.

Example: I saw this young artist get a bunch of hate comments under a drawing of Bramblestar/Brambleclaw because a massive part of the fandom claimed he was an abuser. Happened again with someone draw Crowfeather x Leafpool fan art because of how seriously people took Leafpool x Mothwing

AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED WITH MHA! They harasses the creator of the show sooooo many times in the past and current because of ships :T SHIPS YALL. Like I understand how frustrating it can be to see the show not end up how you wanted it to or not see too characters make out or whateva but God damn... They are fictional characters chill and just enjoy what we have or hell make what you wanted to happen. I literally do it all the time on my other page @purplestaruwu

Hell I'm still upset about how many characters were botched (in my eyes) in warriors, MHA, Naruto, bleach, marvel, DC etc.

But I think the fun in the fandom is making the what it's and creating our own versions of he characters and sharing it with others who feel the same or who just want to enjoy seeing the characters being draw in different designs, Au's, etc

I use to be so stuck up about everything being close to canon... But then I was just like "You know what it's not hurting anyone, you do whatever" and after that I feel like I became more relaxed being in fandoms... At least I try to be sometimes I do slip up but I stopped commenting on peoples different pov or au's or whatever unless I was gonna say something nice like complimenting the art or the writing or how good the plot of the story was.

It just got easier to just enjoy things and to just well not be so aggressive on the internet and not be online so much.

Cause whenever I get made about seeing a fictional character drawn in a way I don't like and I feel the need to say something... I just be like "yeaaah it's time to take a break for the day I think I've been online for too long"

This also goes for real things that happen online too lmao I just learned to take breaks and breath and remind myself that the online world is just that... The online world... And fandoms are just that fandoms...

I'm venting right now because I'm stressed out or more than likely I stressed myself out with because of online crap. And I just wanted to kind of put this here for me and for anyone else who kind of needs that reminder than you don't need to be online so much and you don't need to protect fictional characters or shows or movies or games or whatever it's not worth hurting someone's feelings because that.

But yeah that's all I think. Have a nice day and go drink some water c:

[kibblemutt]

idk how to explain this idk how to talk to him about it because i think it's a bit weird and gross. i don't think it's necessarily sexual or necessarily anything, in fact i don't know why it's happening and i'm just confused really. i think it used to happen before but i never really realized what it was and i thought i was just being dumb. but i'm gonna write out my feelings the best i can because i don't think i can hold onto them much longer.

this is gonna get weird but i really just need to write how i feel.

because i was traumatized sexually at such a young age, i feel as if a lot of my childhood was completely stolen from me. i was forced to grow up and handle the fact that my fragile mind was tampered with in the worst way. i couldn't do things like other children. i couldn't properly form connections because back then i was still processing things. i had friends in fleeting moments, but they were often annoyed by me. i only stayed in the company of a few stuffed animals that i would shove in my backpack and bring to recess.

i don't remember too much of my childhood even. the parts i talk about with people now are the parts most vivid to me, but below 10 years old i draw a lot of blanks. i chalk it up usually to just dissociative amnesia due to severe trauma.

of course that trauma, the multiple manifestations of myself in situations of abuse, sort of manifested into extreme hypersexuality. also insane kinks but like, that's not new information. the way that my mind initially processed sexual abuse was to romanticize it. to fetishize it even. i'm pretty deep into shota content for a reason. age gap relationships became sort of a fixation for my brain. but i've learned that it isn't my brain's only strategy.

the other day, he brought up my friend pretending to be more intoxicated than he was in order for others to take care of him. of course i joked about how i relate, but it wasn't really a joke. i don't do it often. when i do it's pretty noticeable, but that's not the problem.

my brain does something similar, but not quite. i don't do it willingly. in fact i hate it. i feel ashamed and embarassed every time. i did it for a very long time today and felt gross. i don't want him to hate me for this. i don't even know why i'm talking about it, but i think the idea of my childhood being stolen from me has manifested into something i never wanted.

after talking with my friend margie about it for a few hours yesterday and witnessing it today, i realized what it was. regression. ugh. i had to lay in my bed and just.. process that that's what was happening to me all this time.

gross. it's so gross. i make fun of those people all the time. why does it have to be me? of course it's not the same as some grown adult pretending to be a baby and shitting on the floor or something but it's still offputting isn't it?

when my mind feels unsafe, threatened, stressed, or neglected i sort of lose control of my own thinking. and in that time i tend to mentally regress a bit. uncontrollably. i'm sort of conscious that it's happening and i feel terrible the whole time because i know i can't do anything about it and i don't want my boyfriend to feel like a child predator or something but i don't know how to explain it to him.

it's not that i'm a child or believe im a child or get off on being a child (well that last part, pertaining to certain autoshotacon fantasies of mine, is a bit muddy). i don't want to be like this. i think it might be some sort of innate desire to be taken care of? or some innate desire to have someone hold authority over me in a way? i don't know what it is but it's been distressing me. that's all i have to say. sorry.

[d1d11818]

You’re really trying to embarrass me in front of everyone, aren’t you !!

But really, it means a lot. I’m glad to have met you guys, even if I’m forever too shy to like … Have a real presence. What if I’m not cool ! What if my incessant rambling about my favorite game is toooooo much? OR MY OCS AREN’T COOL ??? The thought is too much to bear ………..

;>_ > I think i’ll stay anonymous.

But I love you guys too! (Platonically speaking, of course)

/

I wouldn’t say I can ‘speak’ the language, but I’m learning! Maybe I’ll be really good sometime and can teach you some stuff, too? We can talk to each other in secret …(except everyone who can also speak Chinese, I guess…)

& I don’t think I’ll burden you with all the nothingy stuff that’s been going on. It’s gonna get better, so it’s okay! Never worry o7

I love random fun facts, so if you have like, cool ones, you should tell me !! Especially your most favorite ones.

Also I suppose you guys don’t really know what I look like ? It’s hard to explain without examples and I don’t really look like anyone from anything i’ve ever seen… Maybe the way people draw Hal from MGS, but even then. I’m sort of the most milquetoast whiteguy with a shitty fake wolf-cut ever.

Sorry this is so short. Last night was kind of rough for me and I don’t really have much energy. I’ll be better tomorrow, I promise !

- I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. I am completely innocent.

SARCASM DETECTED.

- Ha!

- You know me so well already, don't you?

- Hm hm. Anyway.

- We're glad to have met you too.

- Truly.

- Even if you are a bit odd, and ramble a lot.

- It's very charming.

- It doesn't make you 'uncool', as you phrased it.

- It makes for some truly fascinating and enjoyable interactions.

- Besides.

- We're hardly cool either.

- Ah...

- No, we really aren't.

- I've never been popular.

- Not even as a mere toddler, and the standards for that are incredibly low!

- I had to be a special kind of unlikable to be an unpopular baby.

- I don't... like people, to put it simply.

- In turn, people don't like me.

- They would try to praise my work.

- Say I was beyond my time.

- That I would change the future.

- Ah.

- But I do so hate shallow praise.

- To them, my resistance and distancing made me a selfish, rude little brat with a big ego, who thought he was above their compliments.

- What a stupid notion.

- ...

- I'd like to move on.

-------------------------------------------------

- Why does he keep talking like he's an edgy OC with a tragic backstory? The way he talks about himself... Sheesh! Lighten the tone, buddy! Next he's gonna come out and say he's secretly a demon prince who's never felt love or something.

- I find your incompetence incredibly annoying, my thick-screened friend. I am allowed to say this to him, as I am the one who edits these replies for posting, and this moron never reads them back.

- He doesn't even know I leave these little comments.

- That would be amazing!! Maybe then I'll finally understand the lyrics to Sunshine Rainbow White Pony! I have no idea what the words mean, but dang, are they catchy!!

- I understand you don't wanna talk about some things. And that's okay! We're not gonna force you. But you can always talk to us if you need to! Sometimes it helps just to get it off your chest! Even if that doesn't solve anything, it can just be relieving, you know?

- OHHH I get why 1818 talks about his human life now! It's a weight on his... um? Chest? Screen? Wires? RAM? What is the weight on, anyway? Do robots have shoulders?

- Oh, nearly like Ryan! Our host! And technically us! That reminds me, he really needs a haircut. I hope I'm not fronting for it! It feels like my wires are being yanked out!

- ... actually, that sounds kinda

- No. No. Blocked. No one on this app is free of sin. I'm stopping that sentence immediately. You're welcome.

- I hope you're okay! And I hope today, whichever day it is when this is posted, goes better for you! ['w'] <o> :D I made us!! But cheaper looking! Walmart versions of us!

[vibrantfangz]

Wam-Bam!!!

You’re one of my favorite artists, so I hit you with the alphabet of

Questions

A- Are you feeling ok?

B- Barnacles! (What makes you the most peeved?)

C- Color scheme (What’s your favorite color scheme?)

D- Dashing (What fictional character are you most attracted to?)

E- Effortless (What’s your go to hairstyle?)

F- Favorite fantasy world?

G- Girls or boys or neither?

H- Hate (Who do you hate the most?)

I- Intern (If you could be an intern for anyone in the entire world, who would it be?)

J- Jokes (What’s your type of humor?)

K- Kids (How do you feel about kids? Annoying or endearing?)

L- Love (Have you ever been in looooooove?)

M- Movie (What’s your favorite movie?)

N- Nightmare (What’s your worst nightmare?)

O- Obviously 🙄 (What’s a random fun fact that you know?)

P- Powers (If you could have any power, what would it be?)

Q- Q-T-Pie (What’s the cutest thing on earth, would you say?)

R- Really ugly (What is the ugliest feature of a person?)

S- Sad (What’s something that makes you sad?)

T- Tiktoktiktok (What do you like to do in your free time?)

U- Understanding (What’s the most redeeming quality someone can have?)

V- Violence (How much do you traumatize your ocs?)

W- Weather (What’s your favorite type of weather?)

X- IDK WHAT TO DO FOR X I’M SORRY 😔🙍🏻‍♀️

Y- Your biggest hyperfixation rn

Z- Zoopals! (Favorite animal?)

OHHH THOS IS SO SWEET IVE NEVER GOTTEN ASKS LIKE THIS <333 TYSM

A- absolutely! I'm doing fantastic :] how about yourself?

B- Eugh that's a hard one, even though I get peeved easily haha... in terms of art, something that irks me is Art Drama and artists gaining clout over mean trends

C- OOOH pastels!! Rn my favorite combo of colors are yellow, pink and blue!! Aka my signature colors haha

D- Tech from the Bad Batch is the first to top my mind, but when I was younger, I had a huge crush on Darth Vader LOL

E- Oftentimes in a ponytail!! But I used to wear braids ALL the time in middle school

F- OOOH that's a hard one, but probably strange and whimsical ones like the World of Studio Ghibli and The Wizard of Oz, as well as Genshin Impact!

G- If this is about sexuality, I'm currently unlabeled! I know I'm queer and I like everyone, but I don't quite care for labels. Although I did go through a pansexual, omnisexual and lesbian phase haha

H- Definitely 'pray the gay away' conservatives and just unaccepting people in general. Also weirdos like MAPs and Zoos, blegh

I- I've never thought about this!! It's something I'll save for later

J- Humor? Probably really random things LOL, but I find all types of humor unique!

K- Annoying and endearing at the same time. It depends. But I've met some really sweet ones at work! They make my work experience pretty funny sometimes

L- I've been in love a few times! I think- im still figuring out how feelings work haha. Of course, I've had a few childhood crushes, but the most notable was probably with an online friend I sadly cut off. We dated for a few weeks back in 2022 I think?? Ever since I cut them off I've sworn not to online date ever again LOL

M- OOOOH right now it's The Wild Robot, but I also like anything Studio Ghibli!!

N- I've had worse ones than this, but I like to tell this story a lot - when I was little I had a dream that the Cat in the Hat made my toys cone to life, and when I told my parents about it he got mad and made my toys turn on me with pitchforks LOL

O- the insides of figs are lined with dead wasps (yummy)

P- The ability to draw worlds and make them come to life!

Q- CATS!!! I have five, I love them dearly

R- I don't like to say any physical feature is ugly! The only ugly thing about anyone is the evil in their hearts.

S- Probably the thought of those i love passing away, especially my cats and mom </3

T- Draw, daydream, talk with my friends online and browse social media!

U- Learning from their past and choosing to grow from it.

V- A lot, haha :,) but I also love wholesomeness so I add in a good balance! Fret not, my ocs are in good hands!

W- FALL WEATHERRR <33 it's so cozy!!

X- LOLLL DW X IS A HARD ONE

Y- Probably SCAD... its silly but I've been researching Savannah College of Art and Design all week nonstop, and it's my first thought in the mornings

Z- Cats, hehe!! Like I said, I've got five of em!!

Wow, that was a lot- thanks for asking!!! I love to interact with my community ^0^

[donotalwaysbebatman]

Nightwing #104 (A)

This writer needs to be thrown into the sun. It’s like the more freedom they give him, the more special he thinks he is, and the more pointless and terrible his stories become. I mean, you can even see it in the artist - who’s usually flawless - and how clearly bored he is of the entire script, drawing all these characters to be so stiff and emotionless, not even bothering to have fun with action scenes, which are usually his favorite. Every single time, everyone is just kind of standing there. Not that there’s much room in the script for anything except people standing around, for a lot of the panels.

So Dick gets handed superpowers, just because the writer was like, hurhur, it would be so cool if Dick had superpowers, which like, no? The entire point of the Batfamily is that they don’t have superpowers and have to solve the same problems without them. If you wanted a character with superpowers, it should’ve been one of the other ones, you know, the ones who do have superpowers. Okay, well, because he doesn’t usually have them, obviously Dick will do something new and interesting with them, right? No. He just does the exact same thing that would happen in the background of a random superhero’s comic to illustrate them having a normal day, and it has about the same emotional impact.

(More racist, though. I mean I know this author fucking hates asians, but like. Why did it need to be Americans specifically ‘saving the poor oppressed asians from themselves!!’ when it could easily have been set in an unspecified location, or multiple world locations could’ve been used, or it could’ve been somewhere in America where yeah actually bad things do happen, or just. Skip that entire page completely. It added nothing. Except maybe to prove to us that the writer knows what country Bangkok is in?)

Yeah so it’s just. What would Dick do if he had superpowers. Which, maybe if it weren’t trying to also have three other storylines in one fucking comic, could’ve been interesting. Except probably not, because the answer seems to be, “normal superhero things that would be boring in Superman comics also” and that’s the other thing. Who reads Nightwing for it to constantly be all about Superman??? Stop putting them in there!!! And that’s not even the only time Dick is sidelined in his own story, putting way too much about other characters in a story that already has a main character, it’s in the title. If it isn’t from his perspective, you’re not doing it right!!!

I would say, if you want to write about Superman, write Superman, and if you want to write about the Titans multiperspective, write Titans, but they already let him do that, and he keeps making those ones about Nightwing instead, like learn to write, dude.

Also there was this whole intentionally cliffhanger moment where Dick adopted a baby, which annoyed me because I was like, Dick already has plenty of children pick one of those (he can’t stand nonwhite characters unless he made them up and controls their entire backstory that’s why), and also, why do we need stories where Dick just identically mimics Bruce’s story? Except then she’s immediately written out and Dick isn’t even going to pretend to be her parent. So what was the point? Not to mention it’s a throwaway line instead of an actual conclusion to the arc, because, surprise surprise, this guy doesn’t care about the feelings of a black girl or think of her as more than a prop. At least give us something. But no, she’s just passive and okay with whatever random thing happens and let’s never think about her again because who cares. Why write the story at all, then?

Way too much of it is a leadin to Titans, which I don’t plan to read, because I do not trust this writer at all at this point. Like it’s cool to leave breadcrumbs, but if you can’t put the story where the story is meant to go, maybe put down a few projects and concentrate on what you can do. Or just. Stop writing forever! That would be super cool too!

But the superpowers thing is concluded “and then he easily defeated everyone with his superpowers” okay? Why didn’t you just not give him superpowers, and he easily defeated them with his preparedness, logic, extreme tactical prowess, observation, elite training, technology, etc. like he usually does? If fighting them wasn’t the point, why include it? It’s not like there’s any emotional turmoil. If Dick wanted superpowers there’s been plenty of places he could’ve gotten them, except that would be boring.

Nope, we don’t even have the most basic ass boring conclusion, like superpowers go to someone’s head. Or someone still has to be in touch with regular people. Or I have skills on my own, and I’m proud of them, and I’m good enough all by myself. Or there are downsides to superpowers. Or anything! He just has them and then he doesn’t! Nothing happened at either point! Also the fucking writer forgot his own fucking OC also has powers! She’s so inconsistently characterized because he literally doesn’t care about her!

It all culminates in a big moving speech except that the speech is short and not moving! Like if you were building up to that, why didn’t you even write the part you clearly designed the whole story just so you could write a boring speech to make Nightwing seem special!!

In conclusion, literally every part of this issue could’ve just been tossed and you wouldn’t lose anything from the arc.

[petra-creat0r]

AAAAGHOEHAKBVETIAHEUHAUUETYVAEH1!!!

Love it! Also yeah, guess it would get long when dealing with 5 kids and 7 ish secret bosses, so I don't blame you.

More rambling under the cut because I love talking about funky lil guys.

I already had a feeling that Naomi and Woostern would hit it off. I mean, when I first saw Woostern I immediately wanted to draw her with Naomi. Fish kid likes cowboys, they would besties with Woostern. Meanwhile Bitsy is watching both the kids and trying to make sure neither of them get hurt. (Naomi put down the gun!)

As for CK pranking people? No one can stop him from pulling pranks! He's the mighty King of Comics! He has an insane jester who can do anything by his side! Though, since Woostern asked nicely, he'll leave her alone. As for Bonslick? Bone guy might not like really any of the kids, but I can see CK wanting to hang around him. Bonslick reminds Ceeks of his Uncle Papyrus (probably just the vibes), and the kid finds him super duper cool! The rad sunglasses, the cool skateboard, the aloof/annoyed attitude towards him, CK would lowkey admire Bonslick. As well he might mistake annoyance for secretly liking his jokes and pranks (that or CK is just a tad oblivious as to when people aren't liking his jokes. Hanging out with Jevil likely is not helping that.) Also I find it ironic/funny that CK would like Bonslick but Bonslick wouldn't like him considering how dog like CK acts. (He's just a puppy who finds the bone man cool)

Most of the kids wouldn't actually be put off by Left-E's appearance. Particularly CK, Naomi, and Britni. CK and Naomi gamers who would would point and go "OMG FNAF REAL!?!?" or something cringe like that before causing havoc, and Britni would be fascinated as a girl who likes things others tend to find creepy. Left-E's not creepy! He's "neat" and "retro" and "possibly possessed but honestly that's sick too" according to Britni. Wilbur and Chicago on the other hand? Wilbur's likely unsettled and politely trying to keep his distance, while Chicago I can see one of two ways. Either he's not all that off put since his dad and sibling are possessed robots, and his sibling loves working with robotics (especially older animatronics), or that background makes him more unsettled. He might be unsettled either way if Left-E is hovering over him a lot.

Wilbur would LOVE to learn how to cook from Sonatta! He's always wanted to know how to bake properly but he lives with his Pops and uncle who... aren't that great at baking. Both are amazing gardeners and make amazing tea though! The only real person Wilbs knows who can teach him is his Ms. Noelle (who he kinda sees like an aunt), who has her own family and life. Additionally, I can see Wilbur dancing with Ms. Sonatta, as he knows how to tap dance and waltz. As a very empathetic kid (I mean, I feel all these kids have to since they've made it their mission to help the secret bosses), he'd be able to sympathize with Ms. Sonatta and would make a great listener if she wanted to talk about it? (Same is true for most the kids. Wilbur and Chicago especially, I mean they've been dealing with it with their secret boss buddies, so? All these kids effing hate the mystery man.)

I can't see any of the JSS hating Quiddo. They'd all just be down to have fun with the lil guy too! Even if Britni or Chicago might start to question some things. ("Why is this one an SB?" "How'd the mystery man affect them?" "Is it a denial situation like Jevil?" "They taste like echo flowers and egg." "Britni, did you lick them?") That would be until Quiller comes out. I think that'd be such an interesting situation since these kids are all aware of Frisk and Chara (I mean, they're CK's older siblings) and vaguely what happened Underground before they were born, and I didn't mention it earlier but, Chicago is currently in possession of The Soul. The Red Soul. The Soul we control as the Player. Chicago is the new vessel and he hates it. (He doesn't want to be anyone's puppet!) Even if Quiller is indifferent to the JSS kids, I still find it interesting to think about.

Finally Shikari. CK and Naomi would want to hang out with her, even if she wants to be left alone, and both of them would be lowkey jealous if Chicago gets attention from her. Shikari's cool and edgy! Naomi would especially be interested in her katana ("She's like the cool samurai from the shows my siblings like!") Chicago though would be a little surprised that she's taken an interest in him. He probably also thought she'd be more interested in CK and Naomi, but HIM? He doesn't think of himself as strong or capable. He's just a kid who feels behind his peers. Or a puppet unable to break his strings. Forced to be controlled by beings from the beyond whenever the narrative demands it. Plagued by visions of the mysterious man who hurt his friend and is trying to cause the apocalypse and -- Despite his confusion, I feel he'd appreciate Shikari's assurance and desire for him to get stronger. Chicago's the type of kid who's very self sacrificing. He's so determined to help others, he so often forgets to help himself.

So, I already know how your bosses would react to mine, but now I'm curious how they'd react to the JSS aka the Junior Secret ($@#!) Squad. It's a little more complicated but basically they're a group of Lightner kids who befriend the secret bosses of my AU and have been helping them recover and stuff post Deltarune. (And some how get mixed up in all the mystery man darkness bs themselves. Kinda an unfortunate trade off there.)

Since I've only posted Chicago and CK's refs, here's a brief over view of each of the kiddos.

Ooh this one is interesting !! I'm gonna try to keep it short cuz there are quite some people here.

First off, Woostern. And IMMEADIATLY it was obvious to me the fact that Naomi and Woostern would be best friends. I don't even have to tell you WHY they would be friends, just accept it. As for everyone else, they all seem like really nice kids too! Though don't pull pranks on the sheriff, CK, pretty please.

Bonslick ! Ugh, kids. He wishes they'd all stop bothering him, sspecially that CK kid, pulling pranks on him.

Left-E !! Left-E is happ-e, he's on his element; entertaining kids without realizing he might accidentally scare them. Something tells me he'd get along with Chicago, no reason in specific, its just a feeling.

Sonatta. Well, she loves kids in general, they are all adorable and the hopes and dreams of the future. Something tells me she'd get along really well with Wilbur specifically, she might be able to teach him how to cook! She had a lot of time to learn how to do stuff when she was trapped in a prison underwater for years after all, ha ha...! ... Uh...

Quiddo !! JESUS the interactions would be priceless, Quiddo is willing to do anything as long they have fun doing it, ithis kid is SO hyperactive they all might have to take care of them and be sure they don't get into trouble. Quiller really has no opinion on the matter. They all seem like good hearted kids... But will that be enough to help out such darkened souls like those individuals? Whether they succedd or not, once again, doesn't matter to it. In this case in particular wouldn't be fun to see the resul though, just more of the same.

And lastly, Shikari. As expected she mostly likes being left alone, obviously, but... I don't think she would mind the presence of some of this kids. Chicago, specifically. Despite how much she wants to make it seem that she doesn't care at all, she hates seeing totally capable and strong people just doubt themselves so much. That is NOT how she became the strongest darkner in the world, after all. Plus she also likes to see people invent stuff. Both things remind her of some people she used to know.