#also this show in general is SO AMAZINGLY WELL DONE it's just the type of thing where the less you know about it going in the better

[mostly-tame]

A year ago I flew into Michigan to get *my* dog. As soon as I got in the car we clicked. I was prepared to earn his love and trust, but right away we loved each other. Since then our bond has only deepened and strengthened. My love and adoration and admiration for him has only grown.

We've both come a long ways since we met; and I'm incredibly proud of both of us for what we've accomplished. He's my first dog of my own and I couldn't have picked a better first dog for me. He's precisely who and what I needed, and I honestly find him to be a rather easy dog. I greatly enjoy working with him, he's incredibly smart and eager, and once he knows what I want from him he takes only a few repetitions to get it down. I want to try Rally and Agility with him, and we've already begun some parkour type training. We of course hike and walk often, and have done a bit of canicross, and I want to do so much more of that, as well as weight pull, bikejor, and some more packing (I still have his pack, just haven't used it much lately).

Of course I also still greatly want to hunt with him. He's shown great interest in squirrel, raccoon, and rabbit, as well as skunk and opossums lmao, and I greatly regret that the last hunting season was spent slowly escaping a toxic relationship and not hunting with him. I'd like to try him on bear as well, he certainly finds larger game incredibly enticing, but that probably won't happen this season.

It's somewhat strange now, all of my coworkers and friends know me for constantly talking about and showing them photos of Torch, and not Kit. I never really expected to out live her by long, and I wouldn't have if I hadn't gotten Torch when I did. Any other dog, from any other litter, pairing, breeder, I would have backed out of before I got them when I lost Kit. But I love his parents dearly, and his breeder is truly one of my best friends, and i could already feel that he was right for me; so the photos I'd seen of him and videos and photos I got of him before I flew to him kept me afloat while I got through the most lonely few months of my life.

Every day I'm grateful to call him mine, to curl up with him at the end of the day, to walk him, to train with him, to hike with him, to play with him, to bury my face in his thick ruff. He's my sunshine dog, through and through. He makes me smile even when I'm the saddest and relax even when I'm the most stressed. There's no better way to soften my sadness than to curl up with him, softly wagging his tail at first as I pet him, until he tries to entice me into play. There's no better way to work through the things that stress and overwhelm me than to walk, run, or hike with him, working out the excess energy, grounding myself in the world and my being, and thinking things through. I am the happiest when I'm doing things with him.

I was prepared for a dog who would make me earn his love, trust, and respect, a dog who would be a bit of a challenge to train, a dog who wouldn't be very cuddly or affectionate, a dog who would push me more. Overall a dog who would make me work for and earn things more. Getting a teenage laika didn't sound like my brightest idea on paper. But I was ready and eager for the experience and work. But honestly? We fell into place incredibly easily and work amazingly together. He's bizarrely cuddly and clingy and while I don't need my future laiki to be as sticky as him, I love him dearly for it. He's precisely what I needed.

While I'm not generally spiritual nor do I generally put much stock in the idea of fate and destiny; I have no other way to describe how it feels to have him. Who he is and his timing are too perfect. He came to me precisely when I needed him the most. He keeps the shadows at bay. He's the light at the end of a long tunnel for me.

He's been mine for a whole year, and I wouldn't change him or trade him for the world. He's my pride and joy, and I look forward to many more years spent with him. @losech I know you know how much I love him, how much I needed him. I still have to say it again and again and again. I can never thank you enough for trusting me with him.

This art was done by one of my friends several months ago and still makes me tear up to even think about. You can find my friend at fairywren.art on insta!

[tiptapricot]

Snowblind!Subscorp is ABSOLUTELY Death and the Maiden/Supernatural Romance coded. Alternately: Fellas, is it gay to offer up your life to the guy whose brother you murdered right after you pinned him to the ground and offered him positive affirmation while holding his own blade to his throat? To give back that weapon, trusting him to grant you an honourable death? And then, when he refuses and you've both sworn against forgiveness, to fight at his side? To protect and handle him gently, even when you believe that everything that was good in you was torn and burned out long ago?

SORRY I DIDNT SEE THIS UNTIL JUST NOW BUT YES!! AuGgHh Legends Subscorp was done so well.

Even from just a pure dynamic standpoint separate from romance (though it’s… so hard to do that with them honestly) there’s so much intense and deep emotional tension there that was carried through both movies in an arc of trust and reliance and devotion that’s fucking WILD and done fantastically well from a plot perspective.

I’ll always appreciate how Scorpions Revenge and Battle of the Realms handled Kuai n Hanzo alongside the main tournament story. It was so well paced and even though they weren’t the main characters of the second movie, really showed the level of conflict and regret at play in stuff like Bi-Han’s death and the clan rivalries. This was a real bitter conflict, one that had shed blood on so many sides and created a wall between them that seemed impossible to cross, but they did. We see Hanzo’s rage and nobility and brashness lead to his immediate feelings on the need to make amends, and we see Kuai’s care for his fellow Lin Kuei extend to Hanzo as his fellow warrior when they are both under threat and when he sees how he too has been manipulated. It is vitriol into respect, strong hate into the sharp edge of allyship and companionship.

It also kills me that the movies (even if diff timelines) have Kuai go from a single minded “I am the only one who can kill you, you will not die to anyone else but me” type of mindset in SR and BOTR, to “If it comes to it you are the only one I trust to kill me, I will die by no other hand than yours, not even mine” in Snow Blind. Like it tracks so well for the characterization he’d been given, as well as the history of the SubScorp dynamic throughout MKs history generally. It’s fucking heart wrenching and digs into the meat of how they circle around each other and clash.

I can’t even say they’re rivals to lovers because they are but it’s also so much more visceral than that. It is hate binding them together turning into respect and care and resilience when in step binding them together. It is for better or for worse you are mine, your destiny is mine, your death is mine, and it’s just… yeah. Legends articulated that dynamic amazingly and I’ll always b so thankful for that.

[nourrris]

I'm happy there was no season 4.

This could either be a popular, or very unpopular opinion, I'm unsure as frankly I've only began watching two days ago, and finished the show already, (god it was beautiful).

Anyways, I very firmly believe anything after a season 3 would have likely ruined the storyline, it ended on such a beautiful note, something that's so perfectly them. I'm also in a way, happy they never actually did kiss, although realistically I had been rooting for it to happen, the fact it didn't doesn't bother me one bit, it really brings out all the intimacy in their prior actions, and words, I love that their love was batshit insane, that it didn't need a kiss or pda to believe it was reciprocated, frankly surrendering eachothers lives together was more than enough for a confirmation.

But continuing on, I believe a season 4 would have been too messy, they left s3 on a very difficult position to recover off, and a position that didn't need recovering either, it didn't need fixing or changing - not one bit. It was so perfect in my opinion, their last things they did was kill a man together to save one another, then kill themseleves together, literally how much more fitting could it have been for these murder husbands? It just worked so well, that nothing can be more intimate than death for them, in my opinion.

Latching onto the last part of the first section of the post, I really liked how they portrayed the reciprocity of Will's feelings towards Hannibal. When Bedelia ask's Will if he 'aches' for Hannibal too, and it cuts off to another scene, I generally already took that as a yes, as it was a big damn claim, I don't think it's something you easily hesitate on, not when the person in question is a cannibalistic murderer. When he chooses to save Hannibal, and jump off the cliff with him though, that is the real confirmation of course, choosing to leave his wife and son, all friends and absolutely every inch of the life he made - for Hannibal, a man he physically could not get over no matter how hard he tried.

It's perfect, sorry I just finished the show today (like a few hours ago) and I love it so dearly, I've never watched something where the ending felt so genuinely satisfying, even if it seemingly hadn't meant to felt like a finale in that manner, it worked amazingly, I'm very glad it wasn't a s2 situation with such an insane cliff hanger, or else I would have probably just.. never watched the show. Some say it does feel like a cliff hanger, but eventually you can come to terms and realize that their actions, a double suicide in the name of love(?) couldn't possibly surpass anything else they've done at that point, their action's have led them to either horribly idiotic situations, or blissful moments.

Lastly I wanted to mention my original assumption of the ending, I midway through season 2 found out Hannibal was actually a incomplete cancelled show, also prior to that I found through spoilers that will eventually has a wife. Those facts are important because I very weirdly am a person who cannot consume a media without spoilers, (my anxiety is due to that). So I just about know every ending of a show before I'm even halfway into it, although I tend to prefer to wait later, I wondered if finishing the show was worth it so i searched it up, and watched briefly the ending, It was very relieving as if it actually did truly end in a heterosexual way it would have immediately made me quit the show, as yes they are intimite but I still did want any type of closure, without it I would have felt at most pretty indifferent with the ending.

Anyways, the show is beautiful, I love it so so much, even if it's a complete change in genres for me, I love the characters, I love the artistry and creativity in the show, and god do I love the ending.

(edit a day later: guys i totally missed that last scene w bedelia at the end, i still prefer s3's ending but did not know it was implied they were alive!!??!)

[locklyle1kanij]

I wrote this whole review for good reads but i also wanted to post it here. I’m hoping that someone who either hasn’t heard of the books of hasn’t been convinced to read the books yet will find this!

I wanted to come here and write a review on all the books because i hope at least one of my reviews will convince someone to read these books.

Okay so i’m a pretty big reader and my favourite series before i read Lockwood And Co was Six Of Crows, which is still one of my favs but like i would just say if you read and enjoyed SOC i can almost promise you that you’ll like Lockwood and Co it’s got a lot of similarities like the found family which by the way this book series does amazingly, found family is my favourite trope, tell me a book has found family in it and i’m most likely gonna read it. But the found family in Lockwood And Co is definitely hands down my favourite found family! Like the characters dynamic with each other is just so perfect, and i’m obsessed with, as the series goes on the found family only grows larger!!

Also another thing i’m obsessed with in this book series is the plot. I don’t like ghost stuff, it’s not my preferred genre, but with Lockwood and Co i absolutely love the spookiness of it all. The cases that the characters take with the ghosts are always so interesting and the way Jonathan Stroud (the author) made different types of ghosts that all have different weaknesses and strengths!! I will never not be obsessed with just the world of Lockwood and Co in general especially since it’s British, I love books taking place in Britain! Also i just wanted to say the books only get better the farther you read into the series, like for me my favourite book of the series in the fourth one. So if you liked the first one but your not sure if you really want to continue this series i would say at least read till the third one then choose if you wanna keep reading.

Okay if your one of those people who feel like they can’t read a book without at least a bit of romance, me too honestly. If someone ever try’s to tell you Lockwood And Co doesn’t have romance in it, send them to me because i’m more then willing to educate them okay. I love books with a good romance sub plot and this book is in no way a disappointment in that. If you like slow burn like i do (Like Kaz and Inej or another fan fav, Percy and Annabeth) i can tell you, your definitely gonna fall in love with Lucy Carlyle and Anthony Lockwood! They’re slow burn is DEFINITELY a slow burn but it’s pretty obvious that even from the beginning that they’re not just friends or even colleges. Even the author confirmed in multiple times and even if he hadn’t i was already confident that they were a relationship that’s gonna last a lifetime. You know when you read books with a cute little romance in them but once your done the book your like, Ya no that’s not gonna be a long term relationship right there. Well this book series is not like that. Lockwood and Lucy are there for each other, always there to protect each other with their life if necessary but not only that, but something i will never get over from these’s books is how even though they’ve been through all they have in life it’s not about dying for each other, but it’s about how they fight to LIVE for each other and you see more of that character growth together through your the series as they grow up into the people that they are at the end of the series, and i just think that’s super beautiful.

Even though this book series was, at least at first marketed to the youth, i think any age can enjoy it. I was worried at first before i read the books (I watched the show first) that i wouldn’t be able to enjoy the books as much as if i was reading them when they first came out but honestly now after reading and rereading all the books i think i can honestly say that i might have enjoyed the books more. Some of the points of the books very lightly skim over some more serious topics that i don’t think i would have noticed if i was younger while reading these books. I’m not going to give any specific examples because i want this to be a spoiler free review but just know that i have actually examples i’m thinking of right now while i’m writing this. So i’m not just making it up on how it, even thought it’s not marketed to an younger audience, does touch on some deeper topics.

If you read this all, first of all wow that’s a lot of writing to read lol. I’m sorry, i’m a pretty big fan girl over this series. But everything i wrote here i believe whole heartily. I would go on for longer honestly, but i’m afraid if i write much more i’ll start spoiling the books so I’m just gone leave it here. Please Please just try out these books. You’ll be doing yourself a huge favour. Also right now a comic book is in the works for this series so you should read the books before that comes out! Byeee thank you for reading my rant!

[citrus-cactus]

10 characters, 10 fandoms (obscure takes & slightly furry edition)

I was tagged by @tangledupblue and @reliablejoukido approximately forever ago! I’ve actually done this meme two times previously, but there are always more characters to talk about (that cannot be true forever, but we’ll say it’s true for now). So let’s get to it!

Also, I don't feel like tagging this one, but please feel free to do this if you want to! I always love to hear about peoples' favorite characters <3

1. Iago (Disney’s Aladdin)

I… I… I don't have any excuses, I just think he’s neat, ok?! There has always been something about the sarcastic talking animal sidekick trope that speaks to me, even though I can’t explain why. He’s just such a angry, self-centered, fun little guy, and he has a real character arc that runs through all of the 90s animated media! Love his role in the TV series, and I also love that he went off with Aladdin’s dad at the end of King of Thieves. For better or worse, he’s my favorite Disney character, period!

2. Bad Bird/Karamaru (Samurai Pizza Cats/Kyatto Ninden Teyandee)

SPC is a show from the mid-90s era of dubs, and it’s generally beloved for taking a rather loose approach to its translation of the original source material. Bad Bird is yet another bird-type henchman, a rival to the "star" character, a bit of a punching bag, and also not-really-all-that-evil. I uh… I guess I have a type? *shifty eyes*

3. Jose Carioca

Oh sh*t I lied, I do actually have ANOTHER favorite Disney character! Who is a bird!! I honestly don’t know why I have such an attachment to Jose. Three Caballeros was something I ONLY watched at my grandma’s house as a wee one, so I do have some very specific childhood memories of it, and little me always thought this charming parrot was the best part. I have never seen anything he featured in that didn’t originate in the 1940s (yeah, I slept on the DuckTales reunion because I don't have cable or Disney+), but I’ve heard he has (had?) his own long-running comic book series in Brazil. I’ve always wanted to see one of those!

I uh… I definitely have a type. Who knew?? ^^;

4. Ryouga Hibiki (Ranma 1/2)

Ok look. I came into Ranma 1/2 in a pretty weird way: looking it up obsessively on the late 90s Internet, falling in love with character descriptions, screenshots and promo art, and reading fanfiction before I was able to watch or read ANY significant portions of the source material. Ryouga was always kind of my favorite back then, and he still is now (even though I have only seen a few of the OVAs and read about half of the manga). He’s just. He’s such an idiot (affectionate). But he's a great rival, a dog person, has Feelings but is incredibly awkward, and generally means well.

5. Ben Wyatt (Parks and Rec)

Live action? GASP! Just… Ben Wyatt is a MOOD. The entire ensemble cast of P&R is amazing, but it’s incredible how much Adam Scott and Rob Lowe brought to the table. I am very normal about Ben, Cones of Dunshire, and the Letters to Cleo shirt (I am not).

6. Lily Aldrin (How I Met Your Mother)

While I will watch Alyson Hannigan act in pretty much anything, HIMYM is a total comfort show for me, and Lily is just *chef’s kiss.* Don’t really have much more to say than that!

7. Lum(?) (Urusei Yatsura)

UY has such a HUGE ensemble cast with tons of interdependencies, you practically can’t isolate one character without at least three others tagging along. You also can’t think too hard about them, because they are all idiots (affectionate) (there is definitely a distinction to make between characterization being good and characterization being deep). Lum is... not my favorite character (that might actually be the manga version of Mendo?), but she's such a dang icon, plus she’s the one I've tried to draw the most, so that… counts?? Much like Ranma 1/2, I also have to factor in all the years I spent wanting to experience UY. Amazingly enough, I've seen more of it than Ranma at this point!

Currently wishing I could watch the reboot too, because the manga characterization/version of events might actually be getting their day in the sun? :D

8. Bentley (Sly Cooper)

Oof. OOF. Why did I do this to myself. The Sly Cooper series is a 3D platforming series from the PS2 era of video games. Penelope from Sly 3 might be my favorite character conceptually (she brings something really fun to the table, and geek girls FTW!), but her being The Fave is hampered by the fact that she only appears in the one game (What's that? Sly 4? Sorry, don't know what you're talking about). Sly 2 is hands-down my favorite entry in the franchise, and while he’s really difficult to play as, Bentley’s development across the original trilogy is… ghhh. IT’S SO GOOD, as are his friendships with Sly and Murray. Bentley!!! (I still love you though Penelope, you got done so dirty).

9. Donatello (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

I don’t believe I’ve watched/played/read any TMNT property that is younger than a third-grader at this point. But Donnie’s the Smart One, and he is Purple. ‘Nuff said!!

OK so. Birds and smart turtles. We're learning more about what my types are all the time...

10. Daisuke Jigen (Lupin III)

I have not seen much Lupin III. But Jigen is cool <3

(I also like hats).

[sapphicwhxre]

ASTERIA'S 2.5K FOLLOWER FIC REC LIST

i read fics just as much as i write them so here are some of my favourites. tysmsm for this milestone, i love you all <3 quick note: i didn't re-tag anyone if i recommended more than one of your works because of the tag limit.

───────── girls ─────────

hermione granger

tuesdays - @stupxfy

probably one of my all time favs for hermione. it's just so well written and adorable and fluffy and yes.

if i could tell her - @hellounicorn

pining, pining, PINING. the way these emotions and hermione's described is just... art. perfection. there's a happy ending and it is so worth the build up.

darling dearest - @dracolvr

fluffy goodness. read to be hopelessly in love with hermione ─ which, let's be real, we all are.

november rain - @pansydaisy

uhm i love this one sm. it's so simple but amazing ─ everyone has their days like this and having hermione to cure them? it's what everyone needs.

i need more - @15-dogs

i sobbed the first time i read this. it'll break your heart but it's so amazingly written that it's worth the sadness. actual gut wrenching / mindblowing writing.

how the potter girls react to you in lingerie - @pottersanime

the title. need i say more?

honeyed eyes - @minty-malfoy

HEAVEN. being hermione's first kiss as friend? but both of you idiots liking each other? oh my god, sign me up.

hugging her from behind - @pastanest

again, the title. read to feel 🥺💙

grey days - @pepperimps01

PANSMIONE 😌😌 it's angsty with a happy ending and i love it sm. this does such a perfect job of capturing pansy and hermione's relationship growing and having its ups and downs with just a few paragraphs. honestly so good

grenade - @hellounicorn

another one that'll make your heart shatter. but in the best way. these are the fics i live for where the you can't help but feel like it's really happening to you and hermione and god it's so fucking powerful. underrated writing right here in general. and also pansmione is the loml so it hurts in that way.

honeybees - @pansydaisy

fluffy aesthetic heaven.

lead the way - @teacup-tai

more pansmione but this is pure filthy thinking and satisfies all the sexual tension dreams pansmione shippers have.

two queens in a king sized bed - @shysneeze

domestic christmas morning with hermione and it's angelic.

would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy

one of those blurbs i never imagined i'd read or love so much. not to mention it's spot on and adorable.

pansy parkinson

right and wrong - @starrkidmalfoy

a first kiss and the overdone trope that i will never get sick of, the bitch who's soft only for you. the descriptions in this are perfection and the writing is beautiful <3

messed up - @writseo

toxic, messed up love fics will be the death of me. insane how well you captured it all and i just yes damn fucking props.

pansy parkinson imagine - @moonlight-imagines

*screams* THE BEST FRIEND BANTER + THE ENDING OH MY GOD OH MY GOD ─ I SCREAMED WHEN I FIRST READ THIS. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE IT.

dating pansy would include - @lotsoffandomimagines

ABSOLUTE POWER COUPLE SHIT and to this day, pansy saying "jealous much?" when being scolded for pda remains iconic.

grey days - @pepperimps01

as i said before: PANSMIONE 😌😌 it's angsty with a happy ending and i love it sm. this does such a perfect job of capturing pansy and hermione's relationship growing and having its ups and downs with just a few paragraphs. honestly so good

new rules - @silversslytherin

excuse me this is immaculate ─ pansy is the best friend and the second you see that she's also the best s/o, you're done for. perfection.

study "dates" - @turning-dreams-into-chaos

the title is self explanatory and this whole thing is fluffy heaven <3

how the potter girls react to you in lingerie - @pottersanime

read the title, thank me later.

lead the way - @teacup-tai

more pansmione but this is pure filthy thinking and satisfies all the sexual tension dreams pansmione shippers have.

traitor - @hufflepuff-writings

a masterpiece where pansy chooses the wrong side in the battle of hogwarts. this ties up so well and the writing is so powerful.

back alley love potions - @a-simple-imagine

this actually hurts but in a beautiful way. watching pansy give draco a love potion is such a fucking concept and this is executed incredibly.

my little bunny - @emmamarie7708

pansy making you do this is so dirty yet she's slightly sweet and i am a sucker for it. god is a woman and her name is pansy fucking parkinson.

pansy parkinson imagine - @moonlight-imagines

i'll let pansy beat people up for me all day. they put me in madame pomfrey's, feel my girlfriend's wrath.

ginny weasley

blissful - @enyastasia

fluffy ginny goodness. the friends to lovers? the amazing kiss? 🥺🥺🥺💞💞 this fic lives in my heart <3

bubble pop electric - @hunnypot-imagines

this is hotter than a lot of actual smut and the chemistry is so... wow. ginny weasley owns me.

dear ginny - @alyssamalfoy

how does this short ass letter manage to make me feel so much. it's sorcery but i don't even care, it's beautiful.

wildflower - @pansydaisy

will i ever get tired of cheeky i love yous? not when loves like ginny weasley and ayli's so so pretty writing exist.

all i want - @hellounicorn

ouch. fuck you harry :) quite possibly the best ginny fic i have ever read. insanely talented writing, i genuinely feel every touch of emotion you put down and you need to know how amazing that is. keep breaking my heart.

linny hcs - @bluebirdlinginthenest

who doesn't need good linny content in their life?

how the potter girls react to you in lingerie - @pottersanime

sexy bitch, fuck me up.

willow - @padmeamiala

ginny is the loml. her brothers can cry about it.

bellatrix lestrange

attempting to bake with bellatrix - @carters-coffee

MY FAVOURITE BELLA FIC ─ there's not enough bellatrix fluff out there but this makes up for the lack of. heaven.

bellatrix prompt - @carters-coffee

this gives me chills. she knows she's a bad bitch and that's what we love about her.

change of plans - @dumb-sbian

why THE FUCK have i not had a rainy morning with bellatrix? she can sleep and mumble something just like this and i'm still head over heels for her.

being tortured as bellatrix's girlfriend - @writings-of-a-british-fangirl

definitely a concept BUT this makes me feel some type of way and i recommend giving it a minute of your time 😌

bellatrix finding out you're a muggleborn - @carters-coffee

the beauty, the nuance omg. this is art.

bellatrix prompt - @carters-coffee

yep jealous bella. trust me, im all yours mommy <3

sex with bellatrix would include - @onegayastronaut

so short but... sign. me. up.

luna lovegood

never leave - @/deactivated

luna smut is hard asf to come by and this is my favourite. it's so luna and the pain over her not knowing, not getting that closure about how you feel until this is an amazing rollercoaster.

she - @hunnypot-imagines

the beauty of falling in love with luna, through this majorly talented writing. ten out of fucking ten. i will not elaborate but there's also majorly good association in this imo.

silver berries and flickering fireflies - @duskgrangers

i love this fic so much. she's so herself and that is why we ✨ simp ✨ and the scene set just sounds so prettyy

how the potter girls react to you in lingerie - @pottersanime

luna + this title? yes please, ma'am i am simping.

would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy

put me in your pocket luna. im begging you.

dancing in the rain with luna - @/deactivated

only luna would get you a dress to go dancing in the rain and this is the stuff of blissful, fluffy dreams.

hugging her from behind - @pastanest

short and cute, do me a favour and read it :)

dating luna lovegood would go like - @glossymalfoy

life is NOT worth it if you don't read these cute little headcanons and imagine dating ravenclaw's baddest bitch.

linny hc - @bluebirdlinginthenest

like i said, who doesn't need good linny content?

cho chang

strawberry kisses - @pansydaisy

the only cho fic i've been able to find and it's SO WORTH IT. the cutest, it flows so well, and i absolutely love it. i need this with cho tbh.

fleur delacour

toutes les etoiles - @coffee--writes

im in love with fleur and this amazing writing. and for the first time since i started high school, my three years of taking french feel good for something.

being best friends with fleur would include - @harrypotter-imaginess

not romantic but actually so sweet pls. i want this friendship in my life so bad.

nymphadora tonks

dating nymphadora tonks would include - @imaginesforgirls

dating her + that warm little feeling of bliss that only HCs can give you

taking care of her after the war - @random-imagines-blog

this kind of hurts in that good ass way and i lovee it. they're simple hcs but i feel for tonks so much and then there's that warm lil feeling when you're the one to put her back together aand now my primary life goal is to help this woman heal.

───────── boys ─────────

harry potter

phosphenes - @minty-malfoy

ok shakespeare, the fuck?? this fic will never not get me right in the heart. the angst, holy fuck. and for once, the reader doesn't hurt harry and let draco walk all over them and it's just done so well. the transition from a toxic relationship to a sweet, loving one PLEASE. it's beautiful.

happy memories - @15-dogs

how does this manage to be so. smutty and fluffy at the same time? this is one of those short ones that has lived in my head, rent-free since i read it. and tbh any fic that includes expecto patronum is guaranteed to be good.

come back to me - @wondernimbus

right from the beginning, it's a mess of emotions both good and bad. that kind of good ass writing that hits you in the heart <3

making out with harry potter would include - @badfvith

read this title. done? now thank me later.

harry prompt - @thoseofgreatambition

harry x a sarcastic swooning bitch is an elite trope idc. short and sweet, i'm marrying this fic.

keep your eyes on the prize - @rowema-ravenclaw

first of all, showing harry up and second, pure fluff (and a little steam) right after. i also love how she writes harry in general because he's totally safe/in love with the relationship but still has that awkward lovable shyness and i just... *sighs*

always - @pansydaisy

uhm i will always love him and always reread this a thousand times so its a fit title + a good read.

late night studying - @lumosandnoxwriting

fuck studying, let his hand stay in my shirt. once again recommending fluffy bliss in the form of a short read that makes me feel things <3

would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy

he's so stupid. but he still loves you + this is from our resident perfectly talented writer so its a win.

cuddling after a rough quidditch practice - @badfvith

harry james potter is : b a b y

gryffindor's victory - @rowema-ravenclaw

make me gryffindors fucking cheerleader because HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT. AND THE WRITING IS IMMACULATE PLEASE. just read it, you won't regret it.

draco malfoy

silent treatment - @slytherinwh0re

andy's mad talented and this is just... insert a cheesy chefs kiss. unbelievably adorable but so fucking hot and an actually good smut plot (which is rare lmfao). remind me to give draco the silent treatment every time im upset.

rewards - @malfoysstilinski

so hot PLS. hype him up for the match and get your reward, bye. so good.

reading between the lines - @minty-malfoy

i've said this a thousand times but that's what happens when you've got a mad talented mutual BLESSING everyone with beauty like this. butterflies and warm feelings all around when i read this 💓

point of view - @draconisxcaput

its angst for hermione and fluff for you but overall ethereal writing. i am never going to recover from the pure talent that this is.

im not kidding im dying - @malfoysmatrioshka

i hate being sick with a passion but this... this would make it worth it.

hogwarts express - @/deactivated

draco fucking you because he knows harry's watching. the shit of legends and god is it hot.

draco laughing at you because you can't walk after sex - @glossymalfoy

*motions to the title* fluff with this loser 😌

the cheeseburger - @slytherinwh0re

really short read but this is one of those things i just. didn't know i needed. you're missing out and haven't even realised it if you haven't read about introducing him to cheeseburgers. and that ending is so funny/in character to me i fucking love it.

four am - @malfoysstilinski

domestic draco 🥺 but also sad draco 🥺 and then fluffy draco 🥺

hugging him from behind - @pastanest

real short and it'll brighten your day <3

would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy

how is it that this is so stupidly adorable. i love it 💘

ron weasley

heather - @hellounicorn

always making me cry with your fics i swearrr. this is a must-read. having someone but them not really being yours is a beautiful trope and this fic absolutely does it wonderful, poetic justice. your angst is addicting.

apple pie - @pregnant-piggy

ABSOLUTE DOMESTIC BLISS I AM IN LOVE. i don't even like kids or baking that much but this made me so soft. the whole cozy, heavenly vibes from this fic yes yes yes.

jealousy - @writeroutoftime

cliché jealousy turns friends to lovers and i am a sucker for it all over again <3

shaking and trembling - @ronsbadidea

if ron doesn't finger fuck me and then make a cheeky comment about it in class later then WHAT IS THE POINT :(

mixed signals - @iamthecabbage

i've always figured ron is this awkward idiot cutie with a crush and yea, this is it.

fred and george weasley

i love you, but you don't - @george-fabian-weasley

fred's a character i really don't read for often but goddamn. it's the saddest, most beautiful mix of rejection and pain and fred desperately caring but not in the way you want him to ─ an angsty masterpiece.

cockwarming george - @roonilwazlibimagines

because of this filthy gem, i one hundred thousand percent believe that he could make me cum without even fucking me and this is just... it's a good fucking read.

would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy

their responses are so wonderfully chaotic and adorable and GOD you're missing out if you haven't read these lil blurbs.

─

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 20, part three(!)

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

This episode has so much crucially important stuff in it I had to write 3 posts about it! Part one is here, part two is here. 

Don't Start None, Won't Be None

Lan Wangji has never had a real fight with Wei Wuxian before--remember, in their rooftop fight Wei Wuxian never even drew his sword. And since this is going to be a verbal fight, Lan Wangji is going to lose, badly. He's an elegant and articulate speaker, but he's not quick with words, and he speaks directly and sincerely. Weaponized speech is not his area at all, so he's pretty much bringing a knife to a gunfight. A guqin to a flute fight. Whatever. He tries to turn it into a physical confrontation, twice, but Jiang Cheng holds him back.

This throwdown is 100% about religion and orthodoxy; something that is fundamental to both of these young men's lives. Lan Wangji has made it his mission to be as orthodox as possible, doing shit like volunteering to be beaten for drinking when he didn't choose to drink. He's constantly overwhelmed by emotion, and the Lan rules are a source of regulation and safety for him. His emotions around Wei Wuxian are among the most overwhelming he's got, possibly only second to his feelings about his mom.

Right now his feelings are extra overwhelming. 

It's complicated because his relationship with Wei Wuxian literally started off with him punishing Wei Wuxian for heterodoxy. All that time they spent together in the library? Was because Wei Wuxian talked--JUST talked--about using resentful energy for cultivation. Which is precisely the ability he's just shown them, along with a style of killing enemies that's borderline evil and definitely, DEFINITELY unsportsmanlike.

So this is not, Lan Wangji is lovingly worried about Wei Wuxian and Wei Wuxian is pushing him away to avoid an uncomfortable conversation. This is Lan Wangji freaking out because his entire system of belief is being challenged and he's in love with the person who's challenging it.  

Wei Wuxian has shown up to the party wearing an International Mr. Leather tee shirt with a enamel pin stuck to it that says "I get my kicks on route 666" and Lan Wangji just. cannot. deal.  

Never Start a Fight But Always Finish One

Wei Wuxian has a couple of options here. One is to accept, kindly, that he and his friend can't be friends any more because of religion. In this option, in order to preserve his friend's comfortable sense of being right, he would have to tacitly accept that he himself is bad in some way, and allow his friend to keep having his value system, while walking away from him.  

The other choice is to hit so hard that he makes his friend feel really, really bad, and potentially rocks him off of his comfortable foundation. In the short term, the friendship breaks, but if it forces him to actually question his value system, it might lay the groundwork for a new, more accepting friendship.  Anyone who is queer with an anti-queer-religious best friend is probably familiar with this dilemma.

Wei Wuxian chooses the second option, and goes all in from the first moment, calling Lan Wangji "Lan Er Gongzi" and then upgrading to "Hanguang Jun" and even bowing. If it's possible to bow sarcastically, that's what Wei Wuxian is doing. Then he meets his eyes and sticks his chin out, essentially saying "how do you like them apples?"

(more after the cut!)

Lan Wangji's feelings are probably hurt, but he's too busy being mad to show it, and he goes straight to grilling Wei Wuxian, asking him about the killing, the talismans, and giving up the sword, all while Jiang Cheng stands by and wonders what the fuck is happening. 

Lan Wangji is making a fundamental error here, which is he's speaking as if he's an authority instead of as a peer. Wei Wuxian has only ever accepted one authority in his entire life, and that was Jiang Fengmian. Jiang Cheng is the one who, for a change, is approaching as a worried friend, while Lan Wangji approaches as if he has the right to call Wei Wuxian to account.  

Wei Wuxian won't answer his questions and is getting in his face, provoking him in a very quiet and controlled way, and Lan Wangji responds by just being really aggressive. It's interesting to see Wei Wuxian completely mastering his emotions while Lan Wangji is completely....not.  Wei Wuxian pushes harder, saying he's being rude, saying he's being a bad friend.  Which doesn't make any difference to Lan Wanji, who keeps pressing for an answer while Jiang Cheng wonders what the fuck is happening.

Come to Gusu

Wei Wuxian says he already explained, that it's complicated, it will take time to explain, so then Lan Wangji makes the utterly dumbassed demand that Wei Wuxian return to Gusu with him to explain it. What, exactly, is his plan? Bring Wei Wuxian to Gusu and have Lan Xichen (at the very least) and probably also Lan Qiren help him to convince Wei Wuxian that resentful cultivation is bad? How is that likely to work out? Let's have our own flashback, to that classroom interaction that led to the punishment in the library.

Lan Qiren: How will you make sure the resentful energy will only listen to you and not harm others? [Note: he's not wrong, Wei Wuxian] Wei Wuxian: I haven't figured that out yet ["details," as OP's dad used to say] Lan Qiren: If you did, the cultivation world would not allow your existence [i.e. we, the Lan Clan of Gusu, will kill your ass]

Lan Wangji probably doesn't think he's threatening Wei Wuxian with death by inviting him to Gusu, but he kinda is, if Lan Qiren was serious back then.  Lan Wangji is so upset and fearful that he's not really thinking clearly at this point. He loves Wei Wuxian and he's certain that cultivating with resentful energy will destroy him. [Note: he's not wrong, Wei Wuxian]  But Wei Wuxian is beyond fear. He's already been destroyed once.

Wei Wuxian rips on Gusu and then says, in a super-provocative way, that he prefers Yunmeng, which prompts Lan Wangji to say "don't joke around" as angrily as possible. 

This part of the interaction always confuses me because...shouldn't he prefer Yunmeng? He's actually from there and lives there and belongs there and stuff? He's just saying "I think I'll go with my brother" yet WWX and LWJ both act like he said he'd rather go to Demon City.

Lan Wangji takes a big step forward and Jiang Cheng blocks him while Wei Wuxian continues to act unperturbed and puzzled while holding his demon flute out in between them. 

Finally, FINALLY, Wei Wuxian calls him Lan Zhan, and asks him a serious question: What do you really want. Lan Wangji calms down for a second--although he keeps leaning into Jiang Cheng's sword block--and gets to the point, which is that the unorthodox path is dangerous, and harmful to his temperament.  

Kill one turtle together and you think you're the boss of me

So, these dudes are talking about 2 different levels of unacceptable cultivation, in this episode and the next few. Netflix translates these as "wicked tricks" and "crafty tricks," which both sound absolutely ludicrous in English, so I'm going to use my own preferred terms, going forward.  

I think what they are calling "Wicked Tricks," which includes spirit snatching and feeding people to the murder turtle on purpose in order to harvest their resentment could be translated as Heresy--adhering to a forbidden belief or practice; standing in opposition to Orthodoxy.  

Edit: After rewatching Episode 35, in which Nie Huaisang explains why their whole blade thing doesn’t count as “wicked tricks,” I’ve changed my mind about what to call this. NHS says that “wicked tricks” specifically involve the use of humans & human spirits (killing, sacrificing, etc.). Which means Necromancy is probably the better term for this particular type of cultivation, although it is still (also) Heresy. 

"Crafty Tricks," which is using resentful energy to raise and control already-dead people (ghosts and zombies) as well as just generally using resentment for basic stuff like beating Jin Zixuan's ass, could be translated as Heterodoxy--deviating from the accepted belief or practice, but not to the point of complete opposition.

Wei Wuxian laughs while Lan Wangji tries to be convincing, but since Lan Wangji is just repeating what he's been taught, he's not making much headway. Instead of saying "there's no exception throughout history" he could have, instead, gone with his own actual observations, such as "you are acting like a sadistic prick" or "you seem amazingly miserable" or "you aren't hugging your brother, what the fuck is that about?" But no.

Wei Wuxian responds to the charge of heresy by saying nuh-uh, and explains his methods, sort of, while going back to calling him Lan Er Gongzi. Lan Er Gongzi responds by actually literally yelling at him, and saying he's not allowed to decide for himself about what he's doing, as if the words "allowed to" have ever meant a goddamn thing to Wei Wuxian.

Temperament

At this point Wei Wuxian is done. He goes and gets right up in Lan Wangji's face and sticks a metaphorical knife right in his heart, smiling as he does it. "How do others know my temperament?" he asks; "and why should it be their concern?" i.e. you are not in my heart. 

This makes Lan Wangji so mad he calls Wei Wuxian "Wei Wuxian" for possibly the only time in the show, and he also flashes a whole bunch of angry teeth. (Gifset here). In a callback to the JFM-YZY fight back in Lotus Pier before the war, Wei Wuxian just calmly says "Lan Wangji" back at him, and then tells him to go fuck himself.

Jiang Cheng still doesn't understand what the fuck is happening, but this is a sentiment he understands, so he also tells Lan Wangji to go fuck himself, reminding him that Wei Wuxian is Jiang clan property and it's not the Lans' place to discipline him. Adding "and I'm not going to discipline him any way, look how good he is at killing people!"

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji continue to stare into each others' eyes from a distance so close that it really should lead to making out, but they are both much too angry for that. 

Wei Wuxian is as cold as we ever see him, smiling as he silently confirms: I do not belong to you. Lan Wangji glares back, his anger maybe finally giving way, a little bit, to being hurt.

Finish Him!

Wen Chao picks this moment to wake up and crawl over to the trio, begging Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng to save his life, since he presumably knows it's pointless to beg Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian turns around and gives him the EXACT SAME dead-eyed smile he just gave Lan Wangji, and kicks him.

Then he tells Lan Wangji to please leave so he and his brother can finish torturing this dude to death, and caps it with an official Jiang Clan eye roll.  

Lan Wangji, poor bb, just throws in the towel, and turns and leaves, the anger finally starting to leave his face and be replaced with something else...chagrin, maybe? Or maybe just softer anger, for the moment. 

After he's out of sight Wei Wuxian turns and looks after him sadly, all of the cruelty and hardness gone from his expression, while Wen Chao says "forgive me,"  possibly voicing what Wei Wuxian is thinking.

Lan Wangji walks out the front gate, troubled, and hears Wen Chao scream. He stops and replays the most pointed part of the fight in his head - the part where Wei Wuxian asked him, "who do you think you are?" Lan Wangji went into the fight believing he was completely right and was entitled to judge Wei Wuxian, but he's come out of it with his certainty shaken. 

Family Time

The Yunmeng brothers go to the ancestral shrine in Lotus Pier even though the whole "reclaiming Lotus Pier" scene doesn't happen until Episode 24. So apparently they just kind of sneak into the the shrine, and then sneak back out. Or, you know, continuity error.  Anyway Wei Wuxian is nothing if not adept at sneaking around death-related places.

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng bow and offer incense. It's nice that the Wens didn't fuck up everybody's name plaques when they were in control of the place...or the tassels, candles, etc. 

Wei Wuxian quietly tells Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian that he did what they asked--taking care of Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli--and they can rest now. Nosy parker Jiang Cheng wants to know what he's saying, but Wei Wuxian just changes the subject. 

They talk about going to Qinghe for the final combat of the Sunshot Campaign. Wei Wuxian says that's why he returned, which...dude, you can't even pretend you came back to be with your loved ones? Ouch. Jiang Cheng doesn't really react to that, but he's happy when Wei Wuxian says he wants to see Jiang Yanli. Wei Wuxian wants to know if she's ok and if she's mad at him, and Jiang Cheng says wait and see, because direct answers are not the Jiang Clan way.

Jiang Yanli is helping tend to the wounded, and we see her telling a particularly fussy wounded dude to suck it up and stop complaining. 

When Wei Wuxian shows up she totally stops paying attention to the wounded dude so that she can smile at Wei Wuxian. 

He looks back at her tearfully, briefly managing to smile but then just trying to hold it together. He has been to hell and back, and doing his very best to hide it, but when he sees the person who loves him most--the person who will NOT spend 20 minutes yelling at him as soon as they see him--he starts to crack open.

[000scans]

[scans] monotube magazine vol. 2 video call with svt x francesca under cut

Sunday 7 a.m. Eastern time in the U.S. The time in Cheongdam-dong, Seoul, after just finishing photoshoots with Monotube, was 8 p.m., the evening when both body and mind are exhausted. At a distance of 13 hours, global idol group SEVENTEEN and global jewelry designer Francesca Amfitheatrof met together. SEVENTEEN made a team bracelet before their official activities for the 7th mini-album, “Heng:garae.” It is a bracelet that combines a design in the form of a cable tie with a tag made of silver material; and the flat head of the tag is imprinted with a logo symbolizing SEVENTEEN.

Francesca is the one who designed the bracelet. She is the world-class designer who was the first female design director of the high-end jewelry brand Tiffany & Co. and currently serves as the artistic creative director of Louis Vuitton’s Clock Jewelry line. She is also the founder of global jewelry brand “Thief and Heist.” 

The collaboration of the bracelet between “Thief and Heist” and SEVENTEEN was made by Francesca’s active proposal. SEVENTEEN members directly asked Francesca why she chose SEVENTEEN as a collaboration partner in 2020, after the collaboration with global pop singer Elton John in 2019. They also asked how the brand name was made, “the thief and robber,” and all the curiosity they had. From now, we will broadcast a video call between Francesca and SEVENTEEN.

Francesca: Hi guys! Nice to meet you all. SVT: Nice to meet you too! Good morning, Francesca. Francesca: How are you all? How was the shoot? Joshua: We had such a great time. We really like… (showing the bracelets together) Francesca: You all got the tags! SVT: Very nice!

Francesca: Do you all speak English? Joshua: No, only two of us speak English. But, we will like translate for our members. Seungkwan: His (Vernon) hometown is New York. Francesca: I know one is from, you (Joshua) are from LA, right? In California? SVT: Oh, wow.

Joshua: We actually prepared some questions to ask you. Francesca: Fantastic!

Joshua: So, the first question is, how did you get to know us, like our team, SEVENTEEN, and why did you choose to collaborate with us? Francesca: Okay, good question. So, I’ve been to Korea many many times. I’ve worked in Seoul, I’ve done a million projects, spent months and months in Seoul. A lot of great friends, and I am a huge fan of Korea. I also love K-Pop. The first collaboration I did was with Elton John. Joshua: Oh, we’ve heard about that. Francesca: And the second collaboration is with you guys. I thought that the one thing that was really important to me was to do things that were very different. So, from Elton to you is so different. I worked a little bit with Jisoo from Blackpink, she is a big fan as well of the bracelet. And I wanted to do something because the brand is very unisex. I want to make jewelry that is not traditional. And so, um I am a huge fan of yours, it was a great kind of, you know, global initiative to have Elton and then to have you guys. Also lastly, is that I love your style. And you always wear jewelry like you wear chains. Such a cool style. So I thought it was a perfect combination. Seungkwan: I agree with you.

Joshua: Our second question is what is the meaning of your brand Thief and Heist? Francesca: So, you guys know the film “Ocean’s 11”…? SVT: Yeah, we do. Francesca: Right, so you know that thing of the very elegant minds that you need to create the perfect heist. I always like to work with incredible people who are courageous, smart, and elegant. I’m always fascinated by that type of world that is really interested in jewelry. But see it in a naughty way, a disruptive approach that challenges traditions. Because jewelry is always so traditional and Thief and Heist is not! Every time it launches something it’s gonna be very different. So, that’s the whole ethos behind the brand. Joshua: That’s cool. We love the meaning behind your brand. We actually didn’t know the meaning. So I was like, “Thief and Heist, what does that mean?”

Vernon: Our third question is, why did you use the recycled plastic for this particular jewelry? Francesca: So, I really wanted to find a way to highlight how precious a material plastic is. To try and shift people’s thinking from a single use, throw away mentality to one of value and permanence. We sourced reground plastic for The Tag, which is essential in highlighting the importance of the concept of the “circular economy.” For the 20% which is new plastic, we wanted to offset that and found an amazing charity called the Plastic Bank who we support. They build ethical recycling ecosystems in coastal communities around the world and pay the collectors a premium for the materials they collect to better help them provide basic family necessities such as groceries, school tuition, and health insurance. So it’s like tap water that keeps on running and so we have to kinda find solutions. We’re never gonna get rid of plastics completely but we need to find different solutions that help, right? The Oceans and the sea. So, we’ve started the campaign called “Make plastic precious.” Treat plastic like as if it was gold. You know? So you use it very carefully.  Vernon: I see, I see. Wow, that’s a very noble cause. That’s awesome.

Joshua: Is there a way to take off the bracelet? Francesca: No, it’s permanent. Joshua: Oh, we have to cut it. That’s the only way to take it off? Why did you make it that way? Francesca: Um, because I wanted to make something that you don’t think about. Something that stays with you. But what it will do is it will always remind you of today. It’s like capturing a moment. So every time you look at your bracelet, it has a meaning. Because it’s a part of you, but when you click it on, that moment stays with you. So it’s either a memory of a moment or a person. You know? It’s hard to put the tag on by yourself, so you’ll always remember the person that tags you. So if you were to give a tag to somebody, that person will always have you with them.

Vernon: Oh, I also think this bracelet kind of reflects the generation we are living in right now? Like generation that uses so much plastics and yeah I think it’s a cool bracelet. Francesca: Fantastic, thank you. It’s like a new modern friendship bracelet. It’s like a new way of treating a friendship bracelet. Even your fans. All your friends, and your fans are called CARAT, right?

Vernon: Right. And umm, personal questions, what kind of music do you like to listen to? Francesca: I love funk. Prince is like my all time favorite musician. I even have an earing, with Prince’s symbol, I don’t know if you can see. Um so, I think that he was super talented. What about you guys? Do you have all different, you all have very different musical tastes? Don’t you? 

Vernon: Yeah, I mean we have so many members, so like the variety of music we all listen to is just… but we definitely like “funk” too. Seungkwan: Oh we actually have a song called “Very Nice”. Joshua: That’s like similar to the type of music you might like. Francesca: Oh, your first song, I was listening to your first ones. First of all, you started your band, you launched your first song, your first single on the 26th of May, which is my birthday.  SVT: Your birthday? Really? Wow, that’s crazy!

Francesca: And also you guys, you started off funky and then do more ballads, you do R&B and then you do ballad and you do a lot of different musical genres. Joshua: We experiment. Vernon: We don’t try to fix the genre of music. Francesca: And your new album is coming out? SVT: Yeah, very soon.

Francesca: Yeah, I wanted to know, you guys when you got together, did you all meet for the first time, or were any of you were friends already, some of you were in another band or some of you were on TV shows. How was it when you first met? Vernon: We all met each other for the first time. Like through our company’s training center. First time we all met together, they never knew each other even before.

Joshua: We just got closer through the years, through our training system, we had to live together for seven years. It’s been like seven years. Seungkwan: Eight years. Joshua: Ah, eight years actually, that we’ve been living together. So, yeah we are basically family now, just brothers. Francesca: Fantastic.

Joshua: We just want to show you that we appreciate you for designing such an amazing bracelet. Vernon: One last question, actually this is the most important question. We all have Team rings. Right here. Francesca: That’s Seventeen in Roman numbers?

Vernon: Yeah, this is our fourth one, and we just wonder if we’d have an opportunity that you’d like to design our next ring, it would be such an… Francesca: I would love to! 100%. Okay? Vernon: Such an honor. You promised! (pinky promises)

Francesca: Definitely, and I’m so excited, I can’t wait to listen to your new music and you guys what you are doing is so great. You all have amazing style. You really do. Amazingly talented. SVT: Thank you so much. Hope we can meet you soon, um, in person. Francesca: Absolutely, either anywhere in the world. Either in Seoul or in the states or in Europe. Take care, okay?

[retphienix]

Alright, this is gonna be tough because I desperately want to say so much for the game's sake and my own, but it's just so much.

At least the playthrough as a whole exists to show a lot of those things, and there's no shame in some of the impacts the game had for myself going unsaid :)

LONG POST INCOMING, NO 'READ MORE' BECAUSE IT'S RELEVANT TO THE POST AND NOT AN AFTER-THOUGHT

CLICK 'J' ON YOUR KEYBOARD TO SKIP. (Sorry mobile users)

8:48 - Do you have any idea how good a step forward it felt to smash the repressing bulb?

9:50 - So I'll get ahead of myself because this fight shows a lot of the visuals that play into this: Something being the manifestation of guilt for Mari is so incredibly visualized.

Between the base 'Something' being extremely close to the shadow she cast and including the one visible eye that bore down on Sunny and Basil after the hanging, to the stairs incorporating into the design.

The seaweed and spider are more general anxieties though they do circle back to Mari since she saved Sunny, but those two forms don't feel as directly related as the stairs (heights) and base 'Something' forms and what they represent for his repressed guilt.

Could be wrong ;) Tell me what you saw in the forms of 'Something' if you'd like to expand on them :)

12:39 - Just to prove the point before you get to fully see the truth- Something morphs into the figure of Mari hanging. It doesn't fully demonstrate the "eye" aspect yet, but still I just wanted to say kudos on the way 'Something' is shown visually. Formless for a reason, and that form becomes more defined as you understand what it is, exceptional damn thing.

15:43 - Basil's part in all of this makes me so damn sad. Plenty to say later (obviously), but he harbors so much guilt, wants forgiveness so much, and is so (not shown yet) desperate to believe in Sunny's innocence while knowing but not comprehending the truth. The fact he harbors his own 'Something' due to the guilt of all this is heartbreaking, these kids endured a hell no one should. Losing someone so important to you and harboring the guilt and fault of it when nothing of the sort was intended. A childish fight with raised emotions got out of hand and all this came of it.

Hell.

16:30 - I absolutely adore how the photo album is used for this reveal.

Absolutely incredible execution that's specific to this story and its characters and makes piecing (literally) this together tense and grim.

22:27 - I NEVER SPOKE TO OR INTERACTED WITH THE THING IN THE CENTER OF THIS ROOM AND I'M A NORMAL AMOUNT OF UPSET ABOUT THAT >:( lol

29:41 - Okay.

So this reveal as a whole is so unbelievably well paced and incredibly hard hitting.

All game long there's a weight of having lost Mari. Repeatedly it's told that she killed herself and no one can understand why and everyone (MYSELF THE PLAYER INCLUDED) is looking for meaning in little moments, seeking out hints that maybe she was suffering or depressed or this or that.

And while that has gone on FOR THE ENTIRE GAME there has also been this uneasy weight surrounding Sunny/Omori. Visions of Mari twisted and deformed into phantoms of horror.

For the most part I assumed it was just him coping with having lost his sister and maybe a dialogue on how when she was alive he was in her shadow (in his mind) and now that she's gone he remains there?

That was the best I could figure, more or less. But it continued to seem more and more malicious in design and MUCH more 'heavy' in how it's presented as a shadow behind Omori/Sunny throughout his adventure and life.

The weight and 'overshadowed' looks of the scenes felt more and more foreboding and less like a simpler "I'm living in her shadow" story, but I couldn't figure out what it was.

Then these pictures come out and piece things together.

The final result:

Sunny and Mari fighting. (Context appears to be his growing disdain towards playing. It's stated he loved playing, but it's also shown that he begins to dislike how much Mari is dragged away for classes and the like up to and including playing. So my read was that Sunny was upset that their fleeting time together was dedicated to the recital and broke his violin in an emotional blur and the fight occurred.

Alternatively it was accidentally broken and both of their emotions were running high as it happened)

Mari falling to her death.

Sunny and Basil carrying her upstairs and tending to her.

Sunny breaking down as it sinks in.

The visions having Basil say "It's going to be okay" by the bedside. (I perceive that as a memory of what Basil was saying as he tried to manage his emotions during the event)

Sunny and Basil carrying her back downstairs and to the backyard.

The makeshift noose.

And finally the sight that burned itself into Sunny's eyes of her hanging after it was all said and done.

Just holy shit to it all in how it's revealed and handled.

Stories have twists all the time, and I ain't gonna make some bold claim like "Most unpredictable!" "Best twist!" "What a twist!" or whatever, though that'd be funny.

I just want to say this twist worked BEFORE the reveal as a foreboding sense of unease and curiosity- it lent itself to intentionally vague and easily misconstrued explanations, basically- instead of it outright misleading you beyond the characters that believe the lie repeating the lie, it allowed you to mislead yourself.

It did the twist the right way! And well! YOU trick YOURSELF! The people repeating the lie are being lied to or have motivation to repeat the lie! The GAME isn't lying (as so many twists handle it) the game is giving the world reason to mislead and allowing you to be mislead!

Now am I yelling affirmations for the way things SHOULD ALWAYS BE! YES! BUT THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S NOT AS NORMAL AS IT SHOULD BE! lol

31:40 - All the "You will really miss them"s hurt :(

33:25 - Right out the gate, a spoiler for what isn't here:

I looked up the alternate endings of the neutral route and my heart hurts to know Sunny doesn't stick around and Basil dies :(

34:00 - BASIL BEING OVERWHELMED WITH DENIAL AND GUILT AS HE ATTEMPTS TO MENTALLY PROTECT HIS VIEW OF WHO HIS FRIEND IS BY INVENTING A SECOND PARTY THAT DID THIS IS SO FUCKING REAL AND AMAZINGLY DONE.

And it explains the name behind the 'Something'.

'Something' behind you did it. There's 'Something' behind you, isn't there.

'Something' all around us, that potentially being the truth comin' in.

When 'Something' ruined my photos, Basil repressing protecting Sunny by destroying the proof.

Just expertly done.

'Something' being repression of the memory and impending guilt. Dannnng.

36:26 - It's 24 hours after I beat the game as I type all this so here's a gag.

Here's the part where Basil beats some sense into his friend, because after this Sunny gets knocked out and wakes up 200% improved and ready to save Basil from his own guilt by releasing them both from the secret.

So basically Kel dragged us out of bed, then a couple days later Basil beats us up, and that's how Sunny gets better :^) Game Over.

38:46 - This fight made me feel utterly terrible, a highlight being the energy bar saying "Everything is going to be okay".

or at 40:17 - when Basil pokes out Sunny's eye and the screen does this? That's an underutilized but always awesome visual.

41:12 - I THOUGHT I WAS DEAD AT THIS POINT :)

Because just before entering Basil's home on this night you see his Grandma's ghost here. So seeing Sunny here told me "WELL. YOU FUCKED UP!"

42:25 - Like I said, beat some sense into Sunny.

Here's the mental side of things where Basil's beatin' told Sunny to go remember the good times and confront his inner self and I'm being partially facetious because there's plenty to say about what's coming up.

43:15 - Goosebumps every time due to the sincerity and hope of this.

43:40 - Hug for anyone needing that.

51:11 - I could cry again and I just might before this post is done being put together.

This accident was never meant to be.

55:09 - Timestamp is arbitrary, I won't go over every flashback but I do want to say what a beautiful way to use these photos. To relive the memories? To find the strength to overcome and all that? After all these years of suppressing memories? DANNNG I love this game.

1:04:09 - I stepped in poop.

1:04:15 - Barefooted.

1:04:22 - I embraced my failure.

1:12:00 - The violin.

1:13:00 - "The anxious feeling-" "They believed in you" "No matter what you didn't want to disappoint them" I'm filled with love and gonna cry about it.

1:14:00 - So an important theme in the game, as if it has just one, is Sunny suppressing emotions and demonizing himself.

Obviously the ending shows him breaking free from both but I think it's important as hell to look at how he builds up to being able to.

After all the dark moments show him as a bloodied monster, demonstrate a perceived lack of remorse for what he's done (as in he sees himself so poorly that he says "I must not have felt bad about it, I'm a monster", not that he actually doesn't feel bad about it, that he thinks he shouldn't because he's bad), have him stab dream Basil to protect his repression of the memory, the build up to breaking free from that is him remembering the good in him through the lens of his friends.

Both in the real world and in revisiting the memories within the photos.

He hears about the good in himself that he has pretended isn't there and finds the power to overcome this deadened shell he's made.

He learns how to forgive himself by finally remembering he's worthy of forgiveness and is more than his mistake, that even the person he grievously harmed would want him to forgive himself and would understand the mistake didn't define him.

1:15:15 - Just because you did something bad doesn't make you bad, to put it more eloquently than my rambles. He had to learn that.

1:19:20 - I've done this fight 4 times.

You may be wondering why 4 times, it ain't like I replayed the game a ton or anything.

The short of it is:

1) For the good ending :)

2) To see what happens if you go "up" in the hospital- it's a dead end- I assumed it'd be a bad ending. So I got the good ending again :)

3) For the bad ending.

4) FOR THE GOOD ENDING TO WIPE THE HORRIBLE FEELING IN THE PIT OF MY STOMACH AWAY FROM THE BAD ENDING :)

In doing so I did get one layer deeper on the BG of Omori in the fight, here it is:

And I learned on the fourth run that the fight is simpler than I gave it credit lol, Cherish refills your juice, so there is no reason to use Encore. You can get to the end (and deeper more easily) by just using the triple attack and Cherish and Calm down when necessary.

1:29:00 - A summary of the fight is that it's extremely impactful emotionally, but very obviously isn't a "Fun fight". It's great mechanically and story wise for what it's trying to do :)

I'll just say it here: I'm surprised there wasn't an end-game "Omori" fight, you know, in dream world? Because combat is SO good in this. I am lead to believe that the Omori route where you never go outside in the real world has more bosses and zones and would fill what I just implied I wanted- but you're also railroaded into the Neutral endings which are both sad :(

And honestly? That makes sense and I applaud the decision :) Embracing the fantasy world for more 'fights' isn't exactly the path to recovery. Also and I know someone will be bothered I say this because *I'm* bothered I'm saying this- it makes sense since a big predecessor did the same thing lol.

Undertale Genocide has new bosses and a harder end game challenge (Sans) while being the worse ending, while the good ending has a flashy and story/emotionally impactful final fight that isn't as challenging because challenge isn't the point of the morals being explored.

I just bring it up because it's interesting, has a parallel, and after fighting Omori 4 times I really REALLY wanted to do an end-game fight in Dream World.

1:30:00 - forgive me as I cry again. goosebumps and more.

OH NO~!

DRAT!

So I use a cheap video editor and I use the free format of it which limits to 720p and I didn't think twice of it.

I recorded at max, but downgraded after editing.

At 720p you can't see the detail that made me break down crying!

At 1:31:55 Sunny's eyes go wider as he sees Mari as they finally get to experience the duet in this dream state (White Egret Orchid, this is real and happening, I'm taking this to my grave :'( ) he sees her smile and that smile made me break down, but in the 720 it's blurry :(

That's on me, I could have posted the scene raw in HQ but I didn't know it'd compress just enough to be invisible :(

still. that duet scene can make me cry on command. just because of that alone, but also the entire thing.

1:33:42 - Sunny breaks from his shell and feels his emotions again.

1:37:07 - I wish every game would end with a mirror to see yourself.

The 'Despite everything, it's still you' vibe just cements all the growth and experiences that have happened as so much more real when that happens. Bonus points because mirrors in Omori are a time bomb where you can be reminded of the guilt following you- and this one is safe. This one is pure and clean. You did it.

1:37:50 - As I said earlier, going up does nothing. Dead end.

1:39:00 - I have to tell you something.

Simple ending. And yet slams me like two trucks. I'm so proud.

1:41:00 - Post credits scene.

This is so heartwarming and their smiles are the purest thing in the entire world.

1:42:50 - BAD ENDING RECORDING.

All I'll say on that is the bad ending made me feel terrible inside. Give up, live in your bubble, and subconsciously end it all so you never have to confront reality again.

My gut felt heavy to be honest.

And the fact that THAT is when Bo En Time is played is INCREDIBLE.

Having the sky shift like that gave goosebumps and cemented my dread.

Just seeing it now has me feeling very poorly.

Okay. Video done.

Now for general thoughts.

First off this White Space cycle has been going on for YEARS with Sunny only getting worse as he suppresses things more and more and the reason he found the strength to overcome is because of his friends and I'm gonna yell about it.

THE REASON SUNNY IS BREAKING FREE CAN BE DIRECTLY POINTED AT KEL THINKING "FUCK IT, I'M ABOUT TO LOSE A FRIEND, AND I DON'T WANT TO"

And I just think that is sweet as hell. The strength was inside himself, but the problem itself caused Sunny to demonize and not trust himself- he needed someone to break him free and help convince him that he's not irredeemable. And boom.

The way this game handles Denial and even gives it physical form with the 'Something's that both Sunny and Basil harbor is just awesome.

I touched on it but combat in Omori is very, very good.

I've said it here and there as I played and I feel like going at length in the finale post is pointless because this isn't a review but to put it concisely.

Types changing mid-combat, the character archetypes being so well defined, the follow up system, combat in Omori is some top notch turn based RPG stuff.

Like up there with the greats, the timeless masterpieces. This is GOOD fighting. So it was surprising the good ending didn't emphasize it- I explained why that makes sense, but even still! It'd probably be lesser for it (as explained previously) but it's interesting they practiced that restraint for the message they wanted to send.

Repeatin' that Mari's smile in the recital made me cry. Burned in my brain.

I'm still surprised I got the post credits scene because I DID water the plants a lot but when the game showed me them all dead I assumed that was the fail condition.

I genuinely do want to try the Omori route some time down the road. I hope I get around to it.

I am slightly dissuaded just because the Omori route only gets the neutral endings which are not Good To Be Blunt :(

But I want to see what dream content there is and I hear there are other bosses!

Other small bits from my notes:

Replacing denial (the black bulb) with hope (the white bulb) was good as heck.

The imagery of the 'Something' is so top notch- using the shadow of her body combined with the piercing gaze of her single eye- MY GOD.

The fragility of life being so present- between memories of near death experiences, to the way in which Mari dies, to the ease at which either Basil or Sunny can end the game. It's tense and heart-wrenching.

The way the 'Something' behind Sunny almost always shadows over him like an ever present weight.

Tearful, hopeful, pure, kids enduring a guilt metric tons heavier than their bodies could ever handle and finally, finally moving beyond it.

I said more in a personal post, and I'll reblog that.

Honestly, just timestamping through the video took it out of me and got the point across.

Omori is a wonderful game.

It's definitely a favorite for me, high up there on my list.

Between the themes, the gameplay, the humor, the ending.

This is a good one.

And now I get to end having experienced all the care and love in this title, that's such a sweet thing.

Now I know this finale post is a mess, illegible even. I have gotten sloppier as I've begun embracing just 'experiencing and rambling' and perhaps my formatting with change yet again until I find something more easily shared.

Despite that. I want to thank any who popped in on this playthrough.

This was a good one, a highlight of the blog for sure- and I'm always happy when I see some people enjoying the absolute mess I toss online when I do one of these :P

So thank you for your time, and thank you to any ridiculous enough to read my nonsense here.

Have a good one :)

And just as expected I feel I've said nothing and barely touched the surface as the post-game-head of mine does a poor job lol. Even still :P

[lilyginnyblackv2]

Just some more thoughts on Entrapdak, Asexuality, and Fandom Spaces

Entrapta is probably more grey-ace, imo, since she seems to show some sexual attraction to tech, but Hordak I can see as being straight up asexual. I’ve seen some people try to invalidate this interpretation by showing the images of Hordak and Entrapta kissing that was done by the crew of the show. But...I mean, asexual people can kiss every now and again. Some asexuals even engage or enjoy sex...they just don’t feel any sexual attraction. And Hordak and Entrapta never really seem to show sexual attraction to each other. I think a good way to illustrate this is to compare how Entrapta looked at the robot that scanned her in Season 5 vs how she usually looks at Hordak. She will look at him in awe or trust, but I don’t necessarily see sexual attraction there. So, I think it is very easy to see these two as being asexual in some way (grey-ace, demi, etc.).

I feel the same interpretation can be applied to viewing them as aromantic as well. Like with asexuality, I feel there is often a lack of understanding with aromanticism. I’m aroace. People who are aromantic can still love. They can love deeply. It’s just they don’t feel any romantic attraction. But aromantic people can love friends and family to such an amazing level, they can even love a partner to an amazingly deep level too. They just don’t feel any romantic attraction and likely express their love differently and not through some of the more usual romantic ways. Or, if they do express themselves in more commonly romantic ways, the romantic aspect just isn’t there. 

It, honestly, would be so neat if Hordak and Entrapta were aromantic, since they get some of the more iconic type of “romantic” moments - like when Entrapta tells Hordak that his imperfections are beautiful with the sparks flying behind her - literal sparks flying. Usually that gets taken romantically, but why can’t a moment like that also hit just as hard and just as deeply between two individuals who view themselves as partners and friends?

Afterall, the key focus of Entrapta and Hordak’s relationship is that they found a friend. In the Japanese version of She-ra they translate this to 仲間 (nakama), which indicates not only friendship, but individuals who have a relationship that is bound through supporting and working together towards a shared purpose or future. They are partners. It is very easy to interpret Entrapta and Hordak’s relationship as being a queerplatonic one. A quick and general definition of queerplatonic is:

an umbrella expression to indicate that a relationship defies the divide between romantic partnership and "just" friends. Queerplatonic has been used to describe feelings and relationships of either/both a nonromantic or ambiguously-romantic nature, in order to express that they break social norms for platonic relationships. It can be characterized by a strong bond, affect, and emotional commitment not regarded by those involved as something beyond a friendship.

This definition came from the aromantic wikia. To give some more context:

Relationships can be considered queerplatonic when they break norms similar to those. As an example of what those norms forbid, in some situations the people involved in queerplatonic relationships can show physical affection such as cheek kisses, pecks on the lips, holding hands, sitting on each other's lap, seeing each other naked, cuddling and sleeping together (not euphemistically). To QPPs, these activities are not necessarily romantic nor sexual/erotic.

Now, some fans (such as myself) interpret Hordak and Entrapta’s relationship in this way. Some don’t, and that’s fine too. But I’ve seen other Entrapdak shippers try to invalidate this interpretation by showing things like Hordak and Entrapta kissing, but that can be an aspect of a queerplatonic relationship as well. Others more unintentionally, through this like redraws of Hordak’s scene when he proclaims Entrapta as his friend and changing that to proclaiming her as his girlfriend or wife. Images like that once again place romantic love above platonic love. They perpetuate the idea that a deep, platonic love isn’t enough or is lesser someone. And that can be hurtful to individuals like myself who found so much validation through Hordak’s powerful proclamation that Entrapta was his friend.

I do get why there is need to try and show Entrapdak’s relationship as being romantic. Because within fandom, even extremely queer positive fandoms, a ship isn’t seen as canon and official by many unless it is inherently romantic. There isn’t space or room or validity to or for queerplatonic relationships.

True, without a shadow of a doubt, asexual representation in media is still virtually non-existent, with aromantic representation and the depiction of queerplatonic relationships being even worse. Even within LGBTQIA+ or queer friendly shows and series. Are Hordak and Entrapta confirmed to be asexual or aromantic or having a queerplatonic relationship? No. And if others want to view their relationship as being sexual and/romantic in nature, there certainly isn’t anything wrong with that, but please be open and accepting of asexual, aromantic, aroace, queerplatonic and other such interpretations of their relationship as well. Please give these readings and interpretations a place within fandom spaces. 

[eschergirls]

Originally posted at: https://eschergirls.com/photo/2020/04/22/guaranteed-get-female-your-bag

Another gem from Jess Morrissette on Twitter:

"What if we simply played to our strengths? What if we're so good at gaming, it somehow triggers an 'I want the alpha male' response in females?" A Game Geek's Guide to Getting Girls (PC Accelerator, February 2000).

I know PC Accelerator was trying to be a Maxim for gamers thing but holy crumbs.  Even as comedy this comes up short.  I almost would say you could make a drinking game out of reading this article but you'd probably die taking shots whenever "a female" showed up.  Also extra points for the advice to hide your gaming interest from a woman until you "bag" her because not letting your partner know about an important hobby in your life is a great way to make sure she's interested in it. >_>

Transcription for screenreaders (thanks again to Bella (@MoviePosters00) for the transcription):

A GAME GEEK’S GUIDE TO GETTING GIRLS

Okay palm-shavers, listen up! Reaction time is a factor. Say the first word that comes into your mind when we say "flying fat baby with a bow and arrow." No — not Messiah! Dammit, your answer is the reason we're writing this article. When you see that pint-sized chubby cherub whizzing around plinking people, it means Valentine's Day is breathing down your neck ... and baby, with this much love magic in the air, even you might be able to get a date.

As a service to you, our reader and — dare we say it — our friend, PCXL has sought an answer to the mystery that plagues so many gamers, "how do I get a girl?" We've searched high and low, discussed this conundrum over beer, subjected ourselves to countless seconds of daytime talk shows, drank more beer, picked up (and hastily put down) many women are from Venus-type books, slurped down more brew ... and, amazingly, reached an answer.

COMMUNICATION

To get chicks, a guy needs to communicate — often by talking. Realizing this Herculean task would prove impossible for almost any gamer worth his gaming spurs, and tougher for those even more worthless, we beat our heads against this barrier for days (and sucked down more beer) until a glimmer of hope laser-burned its way through the hangover.

What if we simply played to our strengths? What if we're so good at gaming, it somehow triggers an "I want the alpha male" response in females? Heavy stuff. Before we could commit our theory to print, we knew it needed rigorous testing, experimentation, quantifiable results. Unfortunately, we have no scientific credibility whatsoever. But we've never let a lack of credibility stop us before.

TERMINOLOGY

Here's a quick primer of terminology used in our experiments ...

Chick = Girl = Babe = Woman = Lady = Female = The ones with the bumps who constantly perplex us

Game Guy = You = Horny = Geek-like = Perplexed = Everyone needs a little help sometimes

Game =Game

Theory = An unproven idea that's more than likely wrong

Hypothesis = An unproven idea that's more than likely wrong. Also, the side of a right-angled triangle opposite the right angle.

Postulate = Something you assume from the outset to be true, unproven and wrong pretty much by definition

PCXL = Horny = Geek-like = Perplexed = Everyone needs a little help — and we're here to give it

EXPERIMENT ONE: THE "INTERACTIVE ROMANCE"

SUMMARY

In an ongoing effort to bring males and females together via the arena of computer gaming, a number of new companies are creating "gender-friendly'" titles. DreamCatcher Interactive (http://www.dream-catchergames.com) has developed an interactive romantic adventure based on a true story. The Legend of Lotus Spring (set to release February 2000) has players of most major sexes participating in the story of a young emperor and the woman that he is forbidden to love. Described as a "whimsical, non-violent game," TLLS takes you to the Far East over 100 years ago, touching on cultural, as well as romantic and adventure elements. As a date-locating technique, the TLLS experiment was an abject failure, as evidenced by this Session Excerpt from a co-ed focus group:

SUBJECT ONE (female)

They should've gotten Fabio to be in this thing!

SUBJECT TWO (female)

I'd like to help with the "motion capture" for that!

SUBJECT ONE (female)

It's so whimsical and non-violent!

SUBJECT THREE (female)

Awwwww, look at that! There's a "virtual serenade."

SUBJECT FOUR (male)

Sweet Jesus, please let me die.

PLUSES

Subjects 1-3 enjoyed whimsical, non-violent gameplay; Subject 4 also experienced Culture and Sensitivity-Broadening elements, as per his previous plea bargain with the City and County of San Francisco, California. (His original offense involved animal shelter felines and "Black Cat" brand firecrackers, but we shan't elaborate on that story.)

MINUSES

Despite a sincere effort on Subject Four's part to share the cultural and romantic elements of the game, considerable friction erupted. Subjects 1-3 suggested a "Fore-Player HunkMatch" mode while Subject Four insisted the experience remain a "Single-Player Shooter." Alas, Subject Four did not survive the triple-strength Silent Treatment that ensued.

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Minus One. Not only did the male subject fail to score, but he was repeatedly and needlessly reminded of his utter lack of resemblance to Fabio.

EXPERIMENT TWO: PLAYING HOUSE

THE SIMS

Frankly, everyone believes that The Sims, from software-as-living-toy masters Maxis, is going to be an absolutely cool game. If you didn't read last month's exposé (crawl out from under your rock), it's the "game of life" made real.

You develop characters, Sims as they're called, and guide, coddle, force, etc. them through various phases in life, searching for financial and marital success. You can end up a lazy, jobless, criminal (much like the PCXL editorial staff) or you can develop a thriving career, gain the respect of your peers and co-workers, and generally lead the sort of enviable life we'll never quite achieve.

Lightbulb flashin' over your noggin yet? That's right — this should be perfect for connecting with chicks! We had the same thought ... not surprisingly, we once again demonstrated our total lack of experience and knowledge of the female thought process.

We were deep into the experiment when we realized that playing The Sims with a cute lass is like eating the broccoli and skipping dessert. How so? The Sims is just so real when you play it with a chick. They actually try to do well with their characters and they want you to succeed too. By the time you're done, you're married, employed, saddled with children ... and you haven't even gotten a kiss off the girl (in real life).

PLUSES

If you're really hard up, The Sims is sort of like practice for relating to real flesh and blood females.

MINUSES

The Sims presents all the work with none of the perks. Perhaps the most telling test-result was this ... babes don't get weak-kneed around men who play house!

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

2.5 dollies — While the game initially got the attention of the female subjects and painted the male subject in a sensitive light, it eventually rendered the male subject more hard up than ever in "real life."

EXPERIMENT THREE: GIRLS THINK THEY CAN DRIVE

NASCAR LEGENDS & TEST DRIVE 6

Why did man invent the wheel? So he could invent cars. Why did he invent cars? So he could impress chicks, of course. The attempt to translate the theory that "chicks are impressed by car-savvy guys" into "chicks are impressed by car-GAME-savvy guys" began with Test Drive 6 from Infogrames —and an utter failure to "get her motor running." The following audio was recorded during a race through Rome:

GUY

Hey! Watch the curve coming up!

CHICK

Is there a map? I don't think this is the best route, we should stop and ask for directions. Isn't Father of the Bride on Channel 4 tonight?

CAR

[CRASHES]

The session was immediately scrubbed and re-started the next day using Nascar Legends. In addition to bitchin' graphics, the incredibly realistic races in Nascar Legends are on tracks — eliminating the whole map thing. Our male test subject was able to expound on the muscular virtues of a 1970 Plymouth and get veeeery groovy in his lingo.

GUY

This is so groovy.

CHICK

Did you just say the word "groovy"?

As the race intensified, Nascar Legends and the general grooviness seemed to be having the desired effect.

CHICK

Mmmmm, wish I could drive this with a joystick ...

Unfortunately, this test case proved inconclusive, because the friggin' puss — ahem — guy, made the fatal mistake of paying too much attention to the game and ignoring the girl. He allowed a full 37 seconds to elapse before responding to the joystick statement, sending several possible messages to the test chick:

A) He was not interested in any way whatsoever in helping her get her hands on a joystick.

B) He cared more about the game than he did about her.

C) He is a total lame-ass and is wasting oxygen that a real man could use to deliver a clever joy-stick retort.

Despite the excellence of Nascar Legends, this experiment resulted in the death-knell response:

CHICK

Isn't Father of the Bride on Channel 4 tonight?

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Five joysticks for the game, three joysticks for the experience of actually playing this with a female, and an obvious and complete lack of a joystick on the part of the male test subject.

EXPERIMENT FOUR: CHANGING TACK

NOCTURNE

When G.O.D. opened the Spook-House doors and unleashed their deliciously ghastly Nocturne, little did they imagine the power they were placing in the hands of the would-be non-virginal male. A combination of "X-Files" chic and classic survival horror action, Nocturne will give you the tools to awaken your "little zombie" from the dead, but you can't expect G.O.D. to do all the work. Take a cue from the game's incredible atmosphere and transform your grotty little hovel into an environment suitable for jitters-induced romance. Lower the lighting ... candles would be a nice touch. Make sure your friend/room-mate/mom (oh, you sad little boy) won't pop in and burst your love-bubble at the climactic moment. Steal some grave stones and casually lay them about:

GIRL

Are those real grave stones?

YOU

Oh, these? They sure are.

GIRL

You're so cool, after we play a little bit of Nocturne, let's do some ... rubbings.

Don't talk during the game play if you can help it. Let the silence and tension build so that when a shambling horror suddenly lunges at her onscreen persona, she'll shriek. The effect is totally ruined, however, if you're the one who lets loose an effeminate shriek.

PLUSES

With proper set-up and execution, a "Nocturne Date" will deliver more sizzle than a dozen oysters. Even if you don't score, a night of blasting werewolves and zombies is a night well spent.

MINUSES

There's a definite gross out factor at work here. When ghouls overwhelm your date and feast on her twitching on-screen corpse, she may be more inclined to vomit than make out with you. On the other hand, you can turn this negative to your advantage by slapping a hand over the offending image and intoning in your best movie hero voice, "This isn't something you want to see."

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Four Severed Zombie arms. Good for you!

EXPERIMENT FIVE: SAVE ME HERO!

THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT

Admittedly an unlikely candidate for Date Movie of the Year, The Blair Witch Project — the overhyped no-budget, shake-cam, low-grade-video epitaph for three missing-and-presumed-screwed filmmakers — yielded the highest results in terms of female subjects exposed versus female subjects, ah, exposed. Throughout the course of the film, the three actors lose their bearings. hurl profanities at each other, and eventually meet an enigmatic but doubtless unpleasant end.

Of course, the game version of this, utilizing the Nocturne engine, is in the works and will be published by G.O.D. A clingy female, the DVD, followed by the game… what kind of loser would you have to be screw up this opportunity for a terror induced tryst? Now where the f —k is the map?

PLUSES

The overwhelming majority of female subjects tested responded positively. often sporadically clinging to the males next to them during, and in most cases after, the film. At least two left the theater with the stated intention of staying with the males that evening. Of course, at least a quarter of the male subjects also clutched the males next to them at least once during the film. There are, ah, other magazines that will deal with those test results.

MINUSES

A very. very slim but noteworthy percentage (about 8%) of otherwise-sensitive female subjects found the film's terror element utterly ineffective —thereby degrading the relative status of the participating males (who thought the film was scary) to that of instant, shriveled Weenie. “This is so not cool, Josh!”

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Five wood-stick-figure-thingies. Heh, heh, heh — we said "wood."

WHAT WE LEARNED

Of course, much of our experimentation assumed the herculean task of getting the girl into your "love nest” in the first place. If you can manage that, then it's best to keep your passion for gaming a secret (until you've bagged her).

Going the route of using horror to terrify a “victim”' to your arms is more fraught with problems (not to mention issues of legality). So get them in to your life in whatever way you can, then you can use the tips and game styles we've investigated to ensure that you can still spend time at your PC and keep the girlfriend happy (a tough mix — trust us).

What could possibly be better than a lovely co-operative Diablo adventure, a Worms: Armageddon face-off, or living out your virtual lives together in Everquest or Asheron's Call?

Remember though, that the real fun and frolics needs to be done in the real world, not online. There are probably laws against that kind of thing.

EXPERIMENT SIX: LET’S GET LITERARY

SALEM'S LOT

This technique was developed outside our offices but captured on videotape. It's so diabolical, so shameless, that we hesitate to even report it. But we will anyway.

The Diabolical Test Subject (DTS for short) had candles lit, Courvoisier at the ready, and was seated with a girl (GIRL for short) on a couch. Further still, he was, brace yourselves, talking to her. In the midst of our shock we realized that he was reading.

It took us two minutes to determine what tome of romantic lore he was reciting ... it was Salem's Lot, by Stephen King.

You may be saying "So what? I'm a gamer, not a librarian.” Or perhaps you've seen the 1970s made-for-TV movie “Salem's Lot" starring Starsky (or was it Hutch?) Well, pay attention Love Master ... by borrowing someone else's words you'll seem smart. By displaying no fear (even during the graveyard scene with little Danny Glick) you'll seem more manly. But above all else, by reading, you will appear to be communicating.

At press time we hadn't managed to work out whether Blue Byte's new Stephen King-based release F13 will induce the same terror effect as Salem's Lot. It does feature a new story from the currently rehabilitating horror-meister and desktop themes and screensavers, etc. for fan boys. Fan-girls are fewer, but never turn to their touchy-feely drivel as a substitute.

TIFFANYSDOMAIN.COM

Do you know why we love Tiffany so much? (If you've seen her pictures here and you don't know, you've got bigger problems than we thought). We love her because she's on Playboy's new video "Wildwebgirls.com"

And we love her because she's on the Playboy Channel's "Night Calls." She also has her very own website that we've been spending an inordinate amount of time “researching” for this feature ... tiffanysdomain.com.

If, after reading this little bit of prose, you still remain chickless, you can see a whole lot more of Tiffany (and a wagon-load of other babes who have problems staying dressed) on "Wildwebgirls.com”... or checkout www.playboy.com for all the steamy details.

Thanks Tiffany!

[sifeng]

What Makes a Guzhuang Drama Good?

As someone who has watched an adequate amount of guzhuang dramas, I feel like I’ve realized a pattern between the highly rated ones and low rated ones. Be warned, this is not an objective analysis, this is just my thoughts on what makes a guzhuang drama enjoyable and good.

The Two Types of Guzhuang Dramas

Loosely generalized, there are two different types of guzhuang dramas - epic dramas and what is called 沙雕剧 in Chinese which could be translated as comedic dramas (technically its more of a combination of silliness, stupidity and cuteness but comedic works.)

You can generally see a different between these dramas just based on a synopsis or one look at the first episode but here are a few differences between epic dramas and comedic dramas:

Epic dramas are usually longer. They typically have above 30 episodes because it is almost impossible to fit all of the storyline in such a small amount of episodes; with comedic dramas there isn’t really a plot so they often have 20-30 episodes. 

Epic dramas usually have higher budgets. This is not to say they have to have high budgets, but unlike comedic dramas which almost always have lower budgets, epic dramas often have higher budgets. 

Famous actors usually only act in epic dramas, never comedic ones. This is not true vice versa though.

Epic dramas usually have more characters.

Epic drama usually have more original songs.

Epic romances usually have these kinds of scenes:

Romance comedic dramas have scenes like these:

For some dramas the lines blur. For example, it’s clear to see that Eternal Love (双世宠妃) is a comedic drama and The Eternal Love or Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms (三生三世十里桃花) is an epic drama. But take a drama like The Legend of Yunxi (芸汐传). It’s long so that belongs to “epic drama”, but the budget is low so that puts it with comedic dramas. It has relatively smaller actors and less characters, but has good songs and an epic storyline. It’s also not comedic. So where does it belong? I’ve decided it belongs to epic dramas. 

Let’s just take a look at the guzhuang dramas that have just broadcasted and categorize them to make this more clear:

To rate these two types of drama you have to make different criteria, as there is something fundamentally different about comedy and drama. 

My Criteria for Epic Dramas

Plot - 50%

Acting - 40%

Cinematography - 10%

Plot contains the plot, characters and script. The plot is obviously very important as epic dramas have 30+ episodes and if the plot sucks no one will dedicate all that time to a drama. Characters need to be realistic for the era the show is set in, or the genre it belongs to. The script is also important because if you’ve watched epic guzhuang dramas you know that the characters in those dramas don’t speak like people in modern day. 

Acting contains mostly acting ability but also chemistry between actors. Acting ability is extremely important in epic dramas because epics are often dramatic and tragic and even if the plot is amazing, if an actor cannot correctly portray an emotional climax, the entirety of the storyline is broken. Chemistry is very important in those epic romances like Goodbye My Princess (东宫), but as these shows don’t live solely on chemistry and cuteness, it isn’t nearly as important.

Cinematography is also very important. In some of the best epic guzhuang dramas, the scenery is beautiful! It helps add to the realism.

My Criteria for Comedic Dramas

Plot: 25%

Acting: 45%

Comedy/Cuteness: 30%

Plot here contains the plot, characters and script again. Even though these dramas are supposed to be simple and easy to watch, I still need it to have some sort of logic so it at least makes basic sense. Characters are also important because you actually want to root for them. The script here is not really important at all. As comedic dramas are geared towards the modern viewer, the jokes are much more modernized and there is much less historical speech. For example I actually need subtitles to watch stuff like Nirvana in Fire (琅琊榜), but I can watch The Romance of Tiger and Rose (传闻中的陈芊芊) while multitasking and still understand it. But, the plot does need to make the lead couple believable, so the script can’t be actually horrible. 

Acting contains mostly chemistry but also acting ability. Romance comedic dramas require us to want to ship the main couple and want to see them be in scenes together. But, if they have horrible acting ability, it also won’t be believable and we can’t really root for them.

The comedy and cuteness is obviously very important because we watch these types of dramas for that.

So What Makes a Guzhuang Good?

Obviously it would be best if plot, acting, characters etc were all good, but I think many dramas give up one certain aspect in order to make time for others. Guzhuang dramas need to stop using basic tropes for their females. Obviously starting out characterization with a trope is fine, but you have to build up their positive and negative traits, give them goals, a brain, a personality, and a reason for us to want to root for them. Why is Young Blood (大宋少年志) so successful despite low budget? (Well yes plot and acting but also) Good female characters! What about The Story of Yanxi Palace (延禧攻略)? (Besides cinematography and acting) Good female characters! Of course this isn’t the golden rule. An epic drama can be good without good female characters, but this is one aspect that (when done well) can instantly raise a dramas rating. (On another note, I really want to see that hero rescues beauty trope be reversed. I really want to see a beauty rescue a hero okay? I just feel like it has so rarely happened in guzhuang dramas but every single show has to have at least five shots of hero rescues beauty). 

For comedic dramas it’s not very easy to make it unanimously loved. I think the highest rated comedic drama on douban is an 8 (which is quite high but considering the highest epic drama of last decade was 9.3 there’s still some way to go). But, so long as actors are cute, chemistry is good, and romance is shippable, it’ll garner viewers and good ratings. But, many comedic dramas are often too trope heavy (one of the reasons why Tiger and Rose was so enjoyable for me was because it was surprisingly light on using tropes and clichés) which makes watching many in a row unbelievably difficult. When making comedic dramas people ought to try to create more interesting characters that aren’t so basic.

This also applies to epic dramas. I want to see more epic dramas try to dive deeper into morally grey characters. I loved Goodbye My Princess (东宫) because of many reasons, one of which was the complicated character of Li Chengyin which was really fun to analyze. As epic dramas are usually very long, they should take some time to focus on character development. Also for epic dramas, or dramas in general, scriptwriters really need to learn how to make sure the entire drama is good, not just a certain part of it. It’s too often to see a drama start out amazingly, but end with a less than satisfactory ending. 

For wuxia dramas: the fight scenes need to be good. Who is going to believe these are the strongest people on the jianghu if they can’t even hold a sword right? Stop using so much slo mo! One or two slow pans of a fight scene are super cool, but slow mo for everything is just lazy. 

Last piece of advice for epic dramas. The pacing for certain dramas need to be faster. Producers have to ask themselves: “does this drama really need 80 episodes?” Unless the answer, “most definitely yes” there is no need. Make the first episode at least somewhat interesting for I am an impatient person. I cannot get into a drama in which nothing occurs for the first ten episodes. But, don’t rush a drama too. I am currently watch Love a Lifetime (暮白首) and in the first two episodes I am so confused. Too much is happening without explanation. 

[th3okamid3monart]

Ya no estoy aquí, another take on immigrant stories.

(This will have SPOILERS for Ya no estoy aqui, I recommend watching it first. It is very touching and heavy tale of belonging and loneliness) 

Sinopsis:

Ulises takes is the leader of the cumbia loving group Terkos in Monterrey, Mexico. But when he gets involve on a gang related accident he has to leave his home so his family and him can be safe, taking up a new home in the distant city of New York.  

Writing-Directing-Acting

This piece of media was one of the best made in Mexico so far. Mexico has been growing in the production and creation of different movies which resonate with a diverse of groups. This time it was the turn of one of the most negated states and music genre ever.

Ya no estoy aqui has a well done balance in the writing, expressing and pointing out different subjects that plague the world; from immigration to corruption, from cultural sub groups to violent gangs and, in the background, the injustices a society faces when they are being neglected by the government or the violence has grown into an out of control normality.

The point of view we follow is from Ulises how he works around and moves to survive, but we can also see how the people around him reacts like the ones he left behind in Monterrey, how their lives have changed so much due to him being away and how the situation in his city is changing.

We can also see the point of view of other people who are in the same situation as Ulises, although they’re not face with as much difficulty as him due to knowing the language.

It explores how the mindset changes, how the characters experience life in the new places and how those places change them. It brings up the hardships of being an immigrant and how awfully homesick they feel, and yet we can also see how those people can act so harshly between each other, respectively how 3 of the tertiary characters treated Ulises just for the way he looked. It’s very clear they are from Mexico as well, it shows how people in general can treat each other as bad if not worse than people from a different country.

Ulises is a very well made character, it shows he is a whole person with feelings, hardships and desires. The actor, Juan Daniel García Treviño, makes a great job by showing the difference between him living in his home, being happy, bright and engaging, and living in big city, where he begins to act isolated, serious and having little to nothing of humor. The change of tendencies and attitudes can be quite hard, since you’re told you need to practically change the character. You need to change who you are. That’s exactly what happens to the character and Juan Daniel does is amazingly.

The idea of being ripped away from your home, your family, your culture and being thrown into the shark tank that is, not only other country, but the most violent and cynical city in the whole country (fighting for the 1st place is Los Angeles and Texas in my inexpert opinion).

There were some odd acting moments, mostly during the group parts where Ulises is with the Terkos. And curiously, it’s not the dancing parts. It’s their interactions at times, they are a bit stiff and awkward. There are other shots where they are seen laughing and playing, and those look very natural. Maybe those shots were the first one they were doing.

The director Fernando Frias understands the importance of belonging somewhere. The whole film is about that and you can perceive it everywhere the character goes. The concept is a very important and powerful one among the sentiments of loneliness and sadness which are used as well.

Seeing the character struggle in a world that he doesn’t fit in, that he doesn’t feel its home is the main and most important thing everyone can relate to. Even if you aren’t an immigrant, you can understand how awful feeling alone and feeling an absence or emptiness in your being can feel. We can sympathize with that and maybe get a more understanding view of the people surrounding us. We only want to be understood, we only want to be seen as part of something or somewhere where one can be themselves without being a mocking or something.  

Photography

Amazing shots by Damian Garcia. Another work I’ve seen from his is La vida Precoz y Breve de Sabina Rivas. Between this two you can see he tends to work with darkness, not all the time just very commonly. And he does it VERY well. People have a bad habit of underexposing their scenes, to the point of ABSOLUTE DARKNESS (I’m looking at you, fucking USA horror movies that only woRK ON FUCKING BLUES AND GRAY TONES AS WELL MY GO-). Mr. Garcia does it perfectly and balanced, you can see the silouttes in the dark, you can see the movement.

The shots are very active, by this I mean they are sequence shots. Sequence shots follow the character around, there are also zoom outs and zoom ins mostly used in the flashbacks, which makes it have a more nostalgic feeling. There’s a specific shot where Ulises is dancing with los Terkos and the camera zooms out to make the shot a perfect square, showing them in the center while the rest of the screen is in almost pitch black. That scene is perfect, it doesn’t need a slow mo, it doesn’t need music, and it only needs the energy, the laughs, and the music coming from the radio to give us what Ulises want.

The colors are balanced, not oversaturated but still bright enough. When it comes to viewing cities and towns, photographers tend to use a very cliché color scheme. For a city like New York it’s always kind of red, grey and blue tones that can also look very opaque, meanwhile for Mexican towns, they always use the yellowish, orange tones. One can get very tired of those you know? Which is why I’m very happy to observe this photography specially coming from a Mexican. There are very amazing photographers and Mr. Garcia will go even bigger soon with his amazing work.

Sound

Awesome work, capturing the essence of what the parties and dance spots sound and feel like is a complex thing to do. Not many manage to capture something that isn’t describe as only noise. It is an experience, it’s something you feel not only hear. The music is a very important part in this movie so the way it is listened from radios, the transition from being in the plane of the character and then to a type of score, while also giving us the personal taste of Ulises is a well done edited piece.

Yuri Laguna has done a lot of works, I don’t personally know many but I did get a very good experience with this movies sound, music and effects. The sound effects sounded like something for the movie and not taken from somewhere else and sounded exactly where they are intended to do so. From the foot-steps to the mumbles between characters when they are inside a store.

I really like the scene where Ulises is at a store and he is about to buy a speaker that reminds him of his home. You can hear the boss and Ulises talking and making hand signs but you can’t understand what they are saying. It’s a little detail I really enjoy. I will have to keep an open ear for any other work of Mr. Laguna

Make up, Art and Costume design 

I don’t even know where to start. I’m very sure most of the places they went to are the real ones, so scouting was done very, very well and amazing to get those lovely and breathtaking shots from a high place. But the makeup?? The clothes? THE SPACES? They entire art department did so well! There are so many details that can tell you about the characters. This is what is called subtle storytelling. The scenes that stick a lot to me were the ones that took place in the home of one of Ulises friends. The whole room is dark, and her and her family are watching TV. They have anguish in their faces, and when the shot is flipped to see their backs, you can see 2 things: her phone ringing, because Ulises is trying to contact her, and the TV. Now the one thing that could caught your eye would be the phone BUT the TV has more information for you, which is how Monterrey is having not only an increase of gangs but also an increase of poverty and police violence.

The clothes are very distinguish, I don’t know much about many sub-groups. I didn’t heard of Kolombia before this movie so this is a nice look into the culture that has been popular over there. The main actor is actually from the state so maybe the costume design team got a little info from him and obviously do their own investigation. The clothing’s pop a lot, mostly due to the style (very big and long shirts and pant, and the signature white shoes of los Terkos). The hairstyle is what you would get at first sight though, it being so obviously made by the own character.

In our own modism: Se la rifaron.

I have seen very detailed works, and this one didn’t go underappreciated since the people who work in it got a nomination for an Ariel (the most prestigious Mexican film prize).

Custom design: Magdalena de la Riva y Gabriela Fernández

Make up: María Elena López y Itzel Peña García

Art design: Taísa Malouf Rodrigues y Gino Fortebuono

I didn’t found more info about this people but I’m sure they will go far if they keep up their amazing work.

Editing

I’m pretty sure the final product is what the director intended. It has clean transitions and well done jump cuts, although I think they used a lot of black ins I think the rest is fine. You don’t need to do super specific or out of the box editing when it comes to a solid story that is intended to be realistic. The pace is good and going back and forward between the flashbacks and the present gives you a more dynamic story. There are some confusing points when it comes to the dream sequences, but I think that’s mostly the point of those. The character would get into points he can’t differentiate what’s real and what’s fake. His desires are interfering with his present to the point of confusion.

Editor: Yibrán Asaud and Fernando Frias.

Conclusion

Immigration is an overused theme, a very well-known subject and a problem that has been happening for years. Problem that hasn’t been fix, if countries were at least trying to fix the problems there wouldn’t have to be so many people putting their lives in danger to travel to a safer place. Then again, people have the power and sometimes power corrupts the person (which is why I think a lot of gangs exist too). Even though it is an overused them, many writers and directors have tried to make compelling stories and characters so the subject is not only forgotten but also inspiring for the people to help others, to sympathize and to understand this people.

Ulises is not a 100% good person, nor a bad person, he is a kid who just wants to spend time with his friends and have fun while doing listening to something he loves and feels a connection with.

Another story of immigration that I really enjoy is Guten Tag, Ramon but that story is way to idealistic, while Ya no estoy aqui is more realistic. There’s also La jaula de Oro but that has a very, very dark ending, realistic non the less but still with a more pessimistic and hopeless ending. This movie kind of stands in a middle ground, where the character just comes back to a changed home.

I’ve read some people saying this movie doesn’t have a resolution, but I think that’s the point. The resolution is that life doesn’t stop. A movie with an anticlimactic ending is not a bad movie (at least not all the time), it just makes you think.

Ulises returns to his home which has changed. He didn’t had the opportunity to see it change and change with it. He will have to start from 0, it’s like going to New York all over again. Life is about change and sometimes that change can come from us or others. Things will impact you one way or another, and sometimes life goes on without you.

You have to decide what to do when you are faced with harshness. Although this movie is mostly about belonging somewhere, the ending teaches you about decisions and choosing.

Ulises chooses to return home, he chooses home even when his friends have move on from him, even if his family has turned their back on him, he chooses to come back because he missed it there and not all is bad. There’s a lot of bad going, but at least he is home now. At least he is here. (Al menos el está aquí)

Sincerely moved, TOD.

[razorblade180]

So I finished Age of Calamity

[spoilers]

Thanks to the beauty of holiday time off I have logged in 40 plus hours into this game and just beaten it, so naturally I’m gonna talk about it a bit. I’ll save the spoiler stuff for a little later though.

The game

This game might be my favorite game of 2020, or at least top three. Not just because of the world, but because everything is over the top! So far I’ve done 131 missions and 90% has the consistent energy of “we are fucking under attack” and it’s almost overwhelming in the best way possible. It really felt like you were on a battlefield field. Your map is just a sea of red and it’s your job to clean it up. What kept me engaged in the fights was all of the character’s different uses runes. I found myself constantly ordering my teammates to face certain enemy types that match best with how they fight.

Originally, I really wanted to be fair and rotate between characters. That didn’t last long. Mipha and Link in my opinion don’t have a single bad move. The bias only got worse whenever the master sword is obtained. Before that, my Link had a spear most of the time but that sword is just handy. Especially with item drop rate and attack range on it. In the end, my strongest characters were Link 74, Mipha 70, Impa 60, and Zelda 60. It’s been awhile since I played the first hyrule warriors so I can’t remember if they had the level up system were you can pay for experience but or definitely came in handy. Combine that with how many guardians were in this game and I quickly found out I needed Link with a shield on a regular bases. I also learned I didn’t forget how to time a vase amount of blocks and dodges.

The amount of characters you get to play quickly became too massive for me to juggle, but they all had their own merits for the most part, though I did find a few of the gimmick characters a bit of a hassle. My opinion on who was viable was constantly changing as I unlocked more combos. Originally, wasn’t the biggest fan of Urbosa. That second and fifth combo modifier changed everything.

The real portion of the game that really kept me wanting to play more was not only the ability to order other people, but seeing them fight along side you. I’m a softie for things like this, but genuinely felt relieved or hyped whenever I was fighting something crazy and I can see Impa rushing over towards me while text from soldiers scream “Just keep pushing!!!!” The AI wasn’t dumb either! There’s plenty of moments that controllable and NPC characters will just go where they’re supposed to, or kill targeted enemies. I remember not wanting to switch over to Link because he had low health, so as I’m running over to him as Mipha to heal him, the madman kills the Lynel. Ran all the way over there to watch him flex. That combined with elemental reactions you can cause in a fight, and the entire spectacle just felt elevated. The feeling of fighting three Lynel’s at once becomes a little less scary when you have a lightning rod and puddles everywhere.

The only negative I found in a gameplay perspective is some of the resource gathering. Gaining the trophy notes for killing a type of enemy isn’t too much of a hassle, but I found getting the materials they drop to be a bit harder, even with increased drop rate statuses. Most of this I find irritating for two reasons. One, specialized enemies show up in relatively small groups in a majority of missions, so getting things from them could be a flop altogether. Number two, a fair amount of these missions take a decent chunk of time if you’re being thorough and killing as much as possible. So grinding is a pain. Fortunately most missions a majority of what you need . If the game wanted chu chu jelly, I knew one of the missions coming up had chu chu as an enemy. You could also keep track of what you needed with material sensor that told you when you had enough.

The story

I’ll be honest, I was upset with this game for a hot second. It was advertised as a prequel to BoTW and while sad, I was truly invested to playing the events that lead to the fall of the champions. What this game didn’t tell you is it’s like most LoZ games, on its own separate part of the timeline. This isn’t the story of they lost. It’s the story of how they win, thanks to the little adorable robot mascot that has the ability to not only show the future, but bring people from the future; the champion’s descendants. At first I was upset with this. Mainly because I’m a little tired of time travel plots and it felt really out of place here. However, time travel gave way more to this game than what I expected this game to have in the first place. It allowed at least six more playable characters that wouldn’t have been possible in the other timeline, and a wellspring of interactions through missions. Every time Mipha was with Sidon, I smiled. Having Urbosa being this super encouraging role model to Riju was so nice since BoTW had expressed just how much those two admired and missed those people. Revali was nice to Teba! They were vibing. Even the soldier commentary on the new champions were a treat. So I got over the time travel issue pretty quick. It made things sad as well when the new generation leaves because they’re going back to a time where they lost it all. There was no great union that took place across hyrule to fight Ganon and their beloved champions failed. I do appreciate that the diverge in the timeline really takes place on the day they’re supposed to die, moments before the final blow. It still lets the player see the definitive moment where good was supposed to lose.

The “new” villain is meh. I wouldn’t really say he stands out. His entire thing is thinking he’s gonna win because he doesn’t realize that he isn’t seeing hyrule’s future. He’s seeing another hyrule’s future. What comes out of his character is cool though because it gives a different, yet same finale boss. I wasn’t expecting to basically fight a giant Ganondorf. Honestly, you can kinda say you fought Demise. At least aesthetically speaking. Or Yuga. This game has also made me care about robot. Something I haven’t done in awhile. A few scenes near the end felt hammy, but also amazingly realistic to how a lot of people would feel when someone breaks your favorite thing. The war was already personal, but now it’s really personal. Quests open up after the game that plays on those emotions too. It’s very clever.

Overall, Age of Calamities story felt like a love letter to everyone who loves this rendition of hyrule and the characters in it. They even another one named Sooga, who just might be my favorite. That man has no choice but to be the brain and muscle of the Yiga. It kinda makes me sad he’s introduced here because you can assume he didn’t make it in the other timeline, so he has no descendents. The amount of serotonin I felt just seeing all of these characters fighting together as the absolutely conquer the battlefield was more than satisfying. Definitely worth the money. I don’t know if they can, but Nintendo might wanna consider some sort of audio patch. The mixing is bad in certain parts. Voice lines get really quiet. Other than that, this game is real solid. I’d give it an 8.5/10

Side note

The music is really good. Especially the Zoe’s demain track. Also, I never noticed frame rate dropping or lag, except on two occasions. Both of these happened to be me pushing the game to its limits. The first is being surrounded by enemies in a small space as Mipha. Creating the water vortex and raining down bombs makes the game wanna cry a little. The second one is a similar case. Sidon’s fifth or sixth combo made the made the game drop frames because it’s incredibly fast, involves timing, makes a vortex, and i was in a small space with tons of enemies. Other than that, not even Urbosa’s or Riju’s lightning made the game freak out from what I noticed. That may have something to do with me never using them in a place where there’s constant rain. That might actually be the cause of the drop in combination of everything else.

[madamebaggio]

A ROMANTIC CRISIS - Modern JonSa

***

Summary: What do you do when you have a crush on your brother's best friend?

And what if he's also your friend?

What if he freaking bites your lip after giving you a cupcake?

Sansa Stark is panicking and it's all Jon Snow's fault.

***

Notes: Prequel to “A Family Crisis”. One shot, can be found here as well.

***

Sansa Stark had been a very girly little girl. She wanted to be a princess; she loved unicorns and fairies, cupcakes and rainbows. She wore pink and danced ballet and baked cookies.

Catelyn was beside herself with such an adorable daughter and Ned was a proud dad, who called his daughter “princess” every night at bedtime, before kissing her forehead.

As Sansa started to grow she kept the whole girly thing in her life. After she passed the phase in which she thought boys were gross, she started dreaming about prince charming, a spring wedding and happily ever after.

She had a list of attributes for the perfect boyfriend and she knew what type of guy she wanted. Sansa imagined a million times how it would be to find this boy, dreamed of sunset kisses, rainy kisses and of everything sweet and gentle.

Then… Life happened.

For such a romantic Sansa had the worst taste in men. It was bloody ridiculous.

First, there was Joffrey, her first boyfriend, back in senior school. He was everything she’d wanted back then: handsome, rich, well educated; he was like a prince.

Only… He wasn’t.

Joffrey was a piece of shit. Unfortunately it took too long for Sansa to see what everybody else could see. It actually took him slapping her in front of his friends for her to understand. She had forgiven his cruel words, the way he spoke about her family –even though she shouldn’t have – and how he tried to mold her to his taste.

The slap she couldn’t forgive.

So it was goodbye, Joffrey.

She had a brief thing with Willas Tryel, Margaery’s brother, but it never went very far. She’d also rather not talk about that creep Petyr Baelish, who was her teacher on her last year and tried to manipulate her.

Then she went to college and fell head first for another piece of shit: Harry Hardying.

Harry was different from Joffrey, that’s for sure. He wasn’t deliberately cruel, he was a sexist pig, that’s it. He wanted her to be by his side whenever he “needed” her, being pretty, or having sex; and when he wanted to be alone, she had to be a good girl and wait for him at home.

After Harry –and a frightening encounter with Ramsay Bolton, the fucking psycho –Sansa had sworn off guys and this whole romance bullshit.

No more love stories, no more sunset kisses and no more fucking clichés.

God, she hated clichés.

And what was she right now?

A fucking cliché!

Why? Because she had gone ahead and fell in love with her brother’s best friend.

God, this was ridiculous.

Why???

Actually, she did know why, and –in her defense- it wasn’t like she had a long time crush on the guy. Those stupid feelings were brand new.

As opposed to her siblings Sansa had never been particularly close to Jon Snow. They all saw him as a brother and she only saw him as Robb’s best friend.

She wasn’t really mean to him, just indifferent. Jon was a bit of weirdo, always brooding, looking like someone had kicked his puppy or like he needed to be fed a sandwich.

Yes, she could admit that she had admired his form in school, but that was only because Robb had all but forced him to join the rugby team during their years at Senior School and he had started to get a pretty great shape. However, this was a platonic admiration. He looked good, she acknowledged that.

So, she didn’t have a crush on him during senior school and she didn’t get jealous over whoever he dated at the time.

Jon was Jon and that was all that Sansa saw.

Curiously, it was Harry who changed that.

She was home for Christmas when she saw a picture that made her stomach turn. Harry was at some party with two girls sitting on his lap; the subtitle to the picture said, “Enjoying being a single man.”

Most his friends had given “likes” to it, laughing that his “shackles” had been removed.

Sansa couldn’t believe that he was doing that; it was downright disrespectful, almost cruel. If Harry didn’t want to date anymore he could have just broken up with her.

She called him, decided to get an explanation. Harry made himself the victim as he called her crazy, controlling and paranoid, he said she didn’t trust him and was chocking him, and that there was nothing wrong with the picture.

Sansa had thrown her phone across the room, hidden her face in the pillow and cried. That was how Jon found her, 30 minutes later.

Poor guy. He had only gone there to call her for dinner –he was also staying there –but he sat down and listened to her until Arya came looking for them.

They became friends after that.

Jon was so fucking caring and generous. He was a great listener and his advice was amazingly insightful.

Slowly they started to get closer and closer: friends, drinking buddies, shopping companions –poor Jon, he was a true hero.

Cue in an inappropriate crush.

Sansa felt like screaming.

She tried to fight it, she really did. She was sure that Jon saw her only as an annoying little sister.

She was being ridiculous. This was ridiculous.

“You are ridiculous.” Margaery informed her, rolling her beautiful eyes. “No straight guy goes shopping with a woman if he doesn’t have every intention of fucking her.”

“Jon isn’t like that!” Sansa defended automatically.

Margaery snickered. “Keep telling yourself that.” She put her sunglasses back on. “Just seduce the man already. You’ll see I’m right then.”

The thing was, even though Sansa liked this idea, she had no idea of how to do it. Margaery had some ideas, but Sansa refused to dress something ridiculously short in front of him or make him jealous.

She wasn’t 15, for fuck’s sake.

She was going to be mature about this and maturely pretend that she felt nothing until it passed.

It was a very adult decision.

It was! It was a solid plan and she had every intention of sticking to it.

If it failed completely it was Jon’s fault and nobody else’s!

Lord, talk about embarrassing.

She had just finished the last test of that year at the University and was considering spending the whole day under her blankets when her doorbell rang.

Sansa considered staying right where she was, but years of being the polite and well-mannered girl couldn’t be ignored. She got up from the bed, still in her pajamas and half walked, half stumbled to the door.

When she pulled it open she had not expected to find Jon on the other side, but he was there anyway.

Sansa wished she had the strength to close the door on his face –his ridiculously handsome face –and run back to hide under her covers. However, this was Jon Snow, wearing jeans, a leather jacket, a freaking wool scarf, with his head a mess of dark curls and a smile on his lips.

What sane woman would close the door?

“Hey.” She smiled at him.

“Sorry. Did I wake you?” Jon asked embarrassed.

“No.” She replied quickly. “I was just being lazy.”

“You have the right to be lazy sometimes.” He smiled at her.

Sansa finally recovered her senses enough to realize they were still standing by her door. “Come in.”

Jon entered her apartment and she noticed the pink box in his hand.

“Are those…”

“Ridiculously expensive cupcakes?” Jon finished for her. “Yes, I bought them for you. I figured you deserved them, since you finished your tests.”

He offered her the box and Sansa almost cried at his thoughtfulness. Why did he have to be so amazing?

She went to sit on her couch, while Jon left his jacket and scarf on the hooks by the door. She opened the lid and saw four heavily frosted and decorated cupcakes.

“These are really great, Jon.” She giggled. “Want one?”

“No, thanks.” He sat by her. “If diabetes has a face… That’s it.” He indicated the pink cupcake she selected.

She showed him her tongue. “More for me.”

God, those cupcakes were overpriced, but they were amazing.

Jon started chuckling and Sansa turned to him confused. “What?”

“You have frosting all over your face.” He informed, a fond smile on his face.

Sansa felt her whole face getting red. “Oh my god! Where?” That was what she got for trying to bite the whole thing.

“Here. Let me help you.” Jon stretched his arm and brushed his thumb against the tip of her nose.

Sansa was still feeling pretty embarrassed –what was she? A child? –but those feelings took a turn when Jon brought his thumb to his mouth.

Sansa was almost certain she had an orgasm.

Jon was looking at her in a way she couldn’t explain. It was… Different. It was like he was seeing her for the very first time. He stretched his arm again, but this time he was closer than before and Sansa didn’t remember moving at all.

His thumb brushed her chin and he once again brought it to his mouth.

“Done?” She asked breathless.

“Just a bit more.” Was she crazy or had his voice gone all husky?

Okay, there were getting closer somehow and Sansa had no idea of how, because, this time, when Jon reached for her he barely had to stretch his arm. His thumb grazed the curve of her lower lip ridiculously slow.

After everything that had happened to her, Sansa had started to believe that whole sparks and fireworks thing was a lie. But the way this simple touch radiated through her body…

Time must be working slower than normal, because Jon’s thumb hadn’t even reached the middle of her lip when Sansa decided to say something. “Stop stealing my frosting.”

Stop stealing her frost? STOP STEALING HER FROST? Oh Lord, she was pathetic. Who said things like that?

She did apparently.

“No.” Jon said simply. “It’s sweeter than I thought. Now I want a bite.” He spoke the whole time looking at her lips.

Sansa wasn’t sure when he moved. She just knew that one moment they weren’t kissing and the next they were.

Not exactly kissing. Actually it was way hotter than that. Jon had bitten –bitten –her lower lip and sucked it gently and Sansa felt it all the way down to her toes.

She forgot how to breathe and she was pretty sure her heart forgot how to beat for a second.

Jon let go of her lip and Sansa… Well, she jumped on him. Like… Literally.

She gave him no warning, or time to brace himself. She just put her arms around his neck and kissed the hell out of him.

In her defense, he did start it with the whole lip-biting thing, and her reaction was completely justified.

At least she tried to see that way later, when she felt so absolutely humiliated by the way she threw herself at him.

In fact, it was so strong –was she that desperate? – that he fell on his back, against the couch’s arm, and she was sprawled on top of him. She kissed him, her mouth opened over his, her teeth tugging at his lips.

Their position was very uncomfortable, but she didn’t even think of stopping; not when he was kissing her back, his hands traveling up and down her back, never going too low.

Then she did the most stupid thing ever: she stopped. She paused the kiss, just for a second, just to catch her breath, but Jon had opened her eyes, and so had she.

It was like being dosed with a full bucket of icy water.

She could see the moment he realized exactly what they were doing, his expression going quickly from shock to panic.

Sansa scrambled off him to her feet so fast she almost fell. Jon also got up quickly, looking like he had no idea of what he should do that moment.

So, he made it worse by speaking.

“Sansa, I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Well, that was just great. He regretted kissing her, seconds after doing it. All she could think about was how his lips looked swollen and pink from the kissing, how she could feel her face sensitive from where his beard had scratched hers and he’d said sorry.

This was terrible.

“It’s okay.” She said, her voice tremulous. “I just remembered I have some things to do…”

She just wanted him to go, that was all, because this was awkward and embarrassing.

“Yes, of course.” Jon jumped at her words and she thought she couldn’t hurt worse than she did, but she was wrong. “I’ll just…” He pointed at the door.

He was so obviously shaken and uncomfortable with the whole thing that Sansa couldn’t even begrudge the fact that he wanted to leave this fast. She kind of wanted him gone as well.

“Yeah, sure. Call me later.” She gave him a weak smile.

“Yeah, I will.”

She didn’t think he would, but she smiled at him anyway and watched him go so fast, he actually left his scarf behind.

Once the door closed behind him, Sansa fell on the couch. She noted absentmindedly that she had sat on the forgotten cupcake.

This day really sucked.

XxX

Jon Snow was the worst friend ever.

He truly was.

Not only to Sansa, but also to Robb and the whole family. You don’t lust after your best friend’s little sister, even though it wasn’t just lust, and you sure as fuck didn’t kiss her like that.

He had bitten her lip!

Sansa must have thought he was some kind of pervert or something. This was such a mess.

He should have kept his distance. The moment he realized he was feeling differently towards Sansa he should have stayed away.

Theon used to say that every boy (or man) at some point had had a crush on Sansa Stark. Theon himself had no shame in admitting to anyone –Robb included –that he had a serious crush on the oldest Stark girl when she was around 15.

Robb would bark at his friend to shut up and proclaim Sansa too smart to ever fall for Theon’s tricks.

However, Jon knew that Theon was right. Jon had had a crush on Sansa too, when she was 17.

He never opened his mouth about it to anyone –much less Robb. He felt silly for thinking about her at all, because Sansa was going out with Joffrey Baratheon then and he was a rich boy from an influential family. Jon was aware that Sansa barely knew he existed outside of being Robb’s best friend.

Crushes are crushes and eventually they go away, just like that.

Now… He wasn’t so sure if his crush on her had truly faded at the time or just remained asleep until this moment.

He never expected them to become friends, much less after so many years of knowing each other, but he loved it. Sansa was crazy smart, funny and charming.

She was the whole package.

“Oy, why are you brooding so much, Snow?” Tormund demanded.

Jon sighed. “Nothing.”

Edd and Davos traded looks, but it was the older man that spoke. “Come on, Jon. You’re even quieter than usual.”

Jon had studied to be a civil engineer and he was currently working on a construction site with those men. They were all good men and they’d become quick friends.

Which made them very nosy.

“I did something stupid.” He admitted.

“You?” Edd asked incredulous. “I find that hard to believe.”

“I kissed my best friend’s sister.” He informed them.

Edd made a face. “Big brother is overprotective?”

“A lot.” Jon sighed. “And I understand it, Sansa is…” He sighed again.

“Wow.” Tormund looked amused. “You got it bad, Snow.”

“Shut up.” Jon grumbled.

“Right… But what happened exactly?” Davos wanted to know.

Jon gave a simple explanation of the day before, editing the most explicit details –like the part where he bit her.

“I don’t see the problem here.” Tormund declared. “She kissed you back.”

Jon opened his mouth to deny it, but then, for the first time, he allowed himself to think about it. He had spent the whole day martyring himself and never considered that.

She had kissed him back.

Sansa had kissed him.

“Oh.”

The three other man traded looks again. “You just realized that, didn’t you?” Edd asked.

“I… I guess so.”

Tormund rolled his eyes so hard that Jon worried they were going to fall off. “What’s wrong with you, boy? Girl kisses you, you kiss her back, and –like a gentleman –carry her to her room to fuck her.”

“Hey.” Jon’s look was full of warning.

Tormund just snorted. “Stop being a pussy, Snow.”

“Robb’s going to kill me.” Jon predicted.

“His sister is a big girl, Jon.” Davos said patiently. “I’m sure she can make her own choices.”

“But what if…”

“Snow!” Edd barked. “Stop stalling. Call the girl!”

XxX

“I’m so stupid, Marge. Why did I do something so stupid?”

Margaery rolled her eyes. She let Sansa vent for another minute as she watched the girl in front of her paint her nails. She really liked this shade of red.

“Are you done?” She asked Sansa.

“What do I do?” Sansa wanted to know.

Margaery rolled her eyes again, happy that her friend couldn’t see her, since she was on the other side of the line.

Mary, the girl doing her nails, gave Marge a sympathetic smile.

“Fuck him, I hope.”

“MARGAERY!”

“Sansa, he bit you.” Margaery reminded her. “Do you have any idea how hot that sounds?”

“But…”

“Sansa Stark, you either call that boy, tell him you want to fuck him, marry him –whatever –or I swear I gonna lock you two in a room and only let you out after you fucked.”

There was a prolonged silence from the other side, while Mary looked pretty impressed by Margaery’s threat.

“Sansa darling, are you still there?” Margaery asked.

“Yeah.” It was weak, but it’d do.

“Great. Hang up, call Jon. Get laid.”

“Ok…”

Margaery was feeling pretty satisfied with herself right now.

XxX

“Jon.”

“Sansa.”

Silence from both sides.

“Is this a good moment to talk?”

“Yes, I just got home.”

“Good.” Silence. “So…”

“I think we need to talk, Jon.”

“You’re right. Can we… Let’s have dinner.”

“Tonight?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Ok… Are we… Are we ok, Jon?”

“Of course! We just… I really think we should talk.”

“You’re right.”

Silence again.

“So… Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow.”

“Where?”

“Wanna come over?”

“Better if you come here. If I go to your house we’ll eat pizza again.”

“What’s wrong with pizza?”

“No pizza in the middle of the week, Jon. That’s the rule, remember?”

“How can I forget? Your place then.”

“See you tomorrow.”

“See you, Sans.”

XxX

Sansa was in total control of herself. This wasn’t different from all the other times Jon had come over to have dinner with her.

They’d done it a thousand times.

They had never kissed before, but dinner, sure.

Sansa had taken a serious decision: –a very serious one –they needed to talk about it. It’d be terribly awkward, probably a bit humiliating, but it’d be fine in the end. Jon was a nice guy, so he’d never make her feel bad about something like that.

She just wanted to talk about it because she was scared that –if they didn’t –they’d grow apart. She preferred a thousand awkward conversations than losing Jon’s friendship.

Yes, she had heard what Margaery had said, but… She was still worried.

Sure, Jon had bitten her first –she was never getting over that –but he was the one that said sorry and that he shouldn’t have done it; so she was confused.

She wanted to believe that Jon didn’t see her as Robb’s little sister, but it was a bit difficult when he said shit like that.

Why dating had to be so difficult?

Not that she was dating Jon. Or that she thought they were going to date. It was just the general idea of dating.

She was pretty sure Jon would never want to date her. She was way different from his other girlfriends. She was almost sure she wasn’t his type.

Lip-biting excluded.

She could be mature. This was going to work out very well. She knew.

The doorbell rang.

Oh heavens…

XxX

Jon took a deep breath before pressing the doorbell. It was just dinner with Sansa, they’ve done it a thousand times before.

But they’d never kissed before.

He needed to make things right between them, which meant doing whatever she wanted. He was willing to pretend nothing ever happened if it was what she wanted, he just didn’t want them to become strangers.

Jon could handle anything but that.

The door opened, revealing Sansa. “Hey.” She smiled at him, but her smile was tremulous, like she wasn’t sure of anything. “Come in.”

Jon entered and showed her the ice cream he had in his hand. “I brought dessert.”

“Great.” Her smile was a bit more sincere now. “Come to kitchen. I have to put the casserole in the oven.”

Jon followed her silently to the kitchen, then put the ice cream in the freezer. “Sansa…”

She turned to him, the casserole on her hands. “Hum?”

Jon took the thing from her and put it on the counter. “I…” He took a deep breath. “Are we okay?”

Sansa opened her mouth, then closed it, then opened again. “You mean after you bit me?” She offered a bit dryly.

Jon cleared his throat again. “Something like that.”

Sansa crossed her arms. “Why did you do it?”

Jon could give her a thousand different answers; he could lie, he could give the answer he thought she wanted to hear, he could protect himself.

However, now, standing in front of her, he only wanted to say the truth. So he did.

“Because I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.” He replied honestly.

Sansa’s arms went slack and she looked perplexed. Jon wasn’t sure if it was a good sign.

“Sansa, I…” Lord, this was hard. “I’d never do anything to jeopardize our friendship, you know that, so if what I did was…”

He never got to finish that thought, because Sansa just grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled his mouth to hers.

She was kissing him.

Sansa Stark -The Sansa Stark -was kissing him! Again! She pulled him to her, she covered his mouth with hers.

Jon was in Heaven.

He kissed her back, pouring all his feelings into it. He sucked at speaking about what he felt, the words never came to him; he hoped that Sansa could understand him like this, that she could feel his love.

The kiss slowed, until they finally stopped. Jon cradled Sansa’s face between his hands, not letting her go too far. He dropped his forehead against her and gave her a gentle peck on the lips.

“If it’s a dream…” He murmured. “I don’t want to wake up.”

Sansa giggled breathlessly. “I’m glad you bit me.”

Jon groaned. “I wasn’t planning on that…”

She cut him with a short kiss. “It was hot.” She admitted. “Seriously hot. And there was I thinking you didn’t see me as a girl at all.”

Jon stepped back -just enough to be able to look into her eyes -and frowned. “Didn’t see you as a girl?” He snorted. “I’m quite aware of the fact that you’re female.’

She slapped his shoulder.” I thought you pictured me as Robb’s annoying sister.” She clarified.

“I tried to convince myself that was the case.” He admitted with a grimace. “I tried to think of you as Robb’s little sister, so I wouldn’t have to think about all the things I imagined…” He cut himself and cleared his throat.

Sansa arched a brow. “You imagined…” She prodded.

“Doing to you.” He finished.

“Oh…” Sansa bit her lower lip. “How detailed was your imagination?”

Jon looked at her with interest. “Very detailed. Explicit, actually.”

“Is that so?” She hummed.

Jon just nodded, fighting off a smirk.

“I think we should discuss that in detail.” Sansa concluded.

“I agree. But first…” He took a deep breath. “This… Us… I want it to be for real.”

“Me too.” She agreed, giving him a peck on the lips.

“So, before any of those detailed fantasies… How about dinner?”

Sansa groaned. “You seriously wanna take me out for dinner first?”

“I insist on a proper date.” He spoke solemnly. “I’m not an easy guy, you know?”

Sansa slapped his shoulder. “Not funny.”

“Date?” He offered, his hand touching her face.

“Date.”

They shared another kiss, then Sansa pulled back. “How are we going to tell Robb?”

“Oh fuck.”

[venusmages]

Cyberpunk 2077 non-spoiler review

Anyways here’s my writeup about my least favorite parts of 2077 for people who are interested in seeing if it’s for them. Both going to talk about content as well as gameplay. This is for PC version, too, because I know last gen consoles are suffering terribly rn and I wouldn’t recommend the game if you’re not going to be playing on PC. At least not until it’s on sale or the issues have been resolved. It really, really shouldn’t have been released on last gen consoles at all in my opinion - or at least should’ve been released on consoles LATER.

If you like Saints Row, GTA, Mass Effect, Shadowrun, or the Cyberpunk genre in general - I definitely think this is something you might want to take a peek at! I wasn’t anticipating the game until about a month or two before release - so maybe that’s why I’m having a blast - but It’s one of my favorite stories from the past decade as far as sci-fi goes. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, and It’s really impressed me. I can’t even go into detail about all the things I LOVE because I really want folks to experience it themselves. Just know there’s a very intricately detailed world, all the characters are memorable and insanely well realized and complex, and the story is great fun. Also made me cry like 5 times. It’s become one of my FAVORITE games very quickly.

I’d also recommend Neon Arcade if you want someone who’s been covering the game for quite a while, including the technical and game industry aspect. He does well to go into some detail and even though he’s a fan, I’ve found him to be largely unbiased. I’m not going to go into industry politics here because I feel that’s up for everyone to decide on their own terms.

No spoilers, things to keep in mind, content warnings, etc. below!

CONTENT WARNINGS and issues with plot/story

this setting is dark. very dark. if you struggle stomaching things like dystopian landscapes, body horror, physical, mental and sexual abuse, corporate and gang violence, abuse of children, harsh language, and concepts that mess with the perception of reality - this game might not be for you. It’s a very mature setting, and I don’t mean that in the Adult Swim kind of way. I mean it in the ‘oh shit, it went there’ way. In my opinion I haven’t run across anything in it that was handled distastefully when it dipped into the depressing, but dark and gritty isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and I wanted to give a disclaimer.

The game’s universe in advertising and working for the lower class also exploits sex/sex work quite a bit. This is part of the lore itself because in this universe everyone’s become desensitized to sex and violence to the point that marketing embraces it and makes it ridiculous. I feel it’s very obvious that it doesn’t condone this message and is instead a commentary on consumerism - but people still might be uncomfortable seeing a lot of suggestive stuff all over the place regardless. 

Women in game are naked more often than men - even though there is nudity for both. This is likely a mix of appealing to the Gamer Boy demographic (even though the story does NOT actually), or the fact that media is way more cool with seeing naked women than seeing full frontal nudity on men. They probably had to tone some of it down to avoid going above an M rating. 

The story is amazing, but sometimes it dumps a lot onto you at once. It’s one of those sci-fi stories that you have to really be following the names, faces, and concepts continually to get it all down. There’s a lot of betrayal, background players, etc. I think by the mid-way point I’d mostly had it, but It’s pretty dense. However it’s still amazing. You might just need two playthroughs before every tiny detail clicks - because there’s a LOT of details. 

Honestly I think it would help to read up on the lore first so you’re not going ‘what’ constantly. But people have seemed to manage fine without that also! Neon Arcade has a really nice series of videos (like 2 or 3) that get you up to speed with the universe. It also helps you decide if the tone is right for you. 

I think the main story should’ve been longer, also. I don’t mind a 20 hr story, especially in a massive RPG, but It feels like they really struggled to cram as much into that time frame as possible. It skirts the edge of being nice and concise, snappy, and tight - and needing just a few more moments to take a breath and wait a second. This is helped if you do a lot of side quests.

The straight male romance option, River, is INCREDIBLY well written but he doesn’t tie into the main plot in any way whatsoever. It’s very strange and feels like they either ran out of time with him, or slapped together a romance with him at the last second. All the other romances at least know what’s going on with V’s story - meanwhile River has no idea, and you can never tell him. He’s an amazing guy though and I highly recommend his questline. He appears in ACT 2.

In general I’d say not to bother with the romances. There are only 4 total, and while the romancible characters on their own are really well written, the romances themselves are just kinda meh. One romance you don’t even meet until act 3. I don’t think they should’ve been included in the game at all, because they definitely don’t feel as fleshed out as everything else. 

CDPR also sometimes forget that women players or gay men exist. Panam and Judy have a lot more content than River and Kerry for example. I don’t think this is intentional, they just have a large fanbase of dudebros. It only shows in the romance content and the nudity thing though.

Johnny, Takemura, and Claire should’ve been romances and I will fight to the death on that. 

There are gay and trans characters in the game and their stories don’t revolve around their sexualities. It’s very Fallout: New Vegas in it’s approach to characters: IE. you’re going to love them. All of them. 

V’s gender isn’t locked to their body type or their genitals- but to to their voice. I don’t think it’s the best solution they could’ve used but given how the game is heavily voice acted I assume that was what they had to work with. 

Some of the romances are locked to both cis voices AND body types (not genitals if I recall but body shapes). That’s disappointing but I assume it was because of scripted scene issues and/or ignorance on the dev’s part considering the LGBT NPCS are so AMAZINGLY done. There’s no homophobic or transphobic language in the game - though there are gendered curse words and insults if that bothers you. 

Some characters MAY suffer from ‘bilingual people don’t talk like that’ syndrome. But it can be hard to say for sure given that translators exist in this universe and the way they operate aren’t fully described. It’s only momentarily distracting, not enough to take away from how charming the NPCs are.

The endings are really good don’t get me wrong but I want fix it fic :(. All of the endings out of like 6 (?) in the game are bittersweet. 

Both gender V’s are very good but female V’s voice acting is out of this world. If you don’t know what voice to go with/are neutral I’d highly recommend female V. Male V is charming and good but he feels much more monotone compared to female V. 

V has their own personality. To some this won’t be a detractor - but a lot of people thought they’d be making absolutely everything from the ground up. V is more of a commander shepard or geralt than a skyrim or d&d pc, if that makes sense. You can customize and influence them to a HUGE degree, some aspects of V will always be the same.

Streetkid is the most boring background - at least for it’s introduction/prologue.

GAMEPLAY/TECHNICAL

If you can run your game on ultra, don’t. It actually looks best with a mix of high and medium settings. Unless you have a beast that has ray-tracing - then by all means use ray tracing and see how absolutely insanely good it looks.

There are color blind modes for the UI, but not for some of the AI/Netrunning segments in cutscenes. Idk how much this will effect folks with colorblindness but those segments are thankfully short. 

There was an issue with braindances being an epilepsy trigger because for some reason they decided to mirror the flashing pattern after real epilepsy tests - probably because it ‘looks cool’. I don’t have epilepsy but it even hurt my eyes and gave me a headache. Massive oversight and really goddamn weird. Thankfully this was fixed.

There is no driving AI. Like at all. If you leave your car in the street the traffic is just going to pile up behind it. It’s one of the very few immersion breaking things I’ve encountered.

Sometimes when an NPC is driving with you in the car, they’ll drive on the curb and/or run into people. It’s kind of funny but can occasionally result in something weird. Feels very GTA  - but nothing excruciating. 

The camera angle feels a little too low in first person mode when driving on cars. You get used to it though. 

The police in this game feel slapped on and I hope they improve it. Right now if you commit a crime, you can never tell what will actually trigger it. And if you just run away a few blocks the police forget about it. 

Bikes are just way more fun to ride than the cars are. 

You CANNOT respec your character after you make them. Ever. it sucks. Go in with an idea ahead of time what you wanna do - it’s better than being a jack of all trades.

as of now you also CANNOT change their appearance after you exit the character creator. This, also, sucks. Make sure you REALLY like your V or you’re gonna be replaying the openings over and over like I did. 

Photomode on PC is the N key. Had to look it up. The mode itself is great though

Shooting and Mele fighting feel pretty standard. I don’t have a lot of shooter experience besides Bethesda games so anything feels better than that to me. So far I’ve enjoyed stealth and mele the best, but that’s just my own taste! The combat and driving aren’t groundbreaking by any means, but they’re still very fun. I look forward to running at people with swords or mantis blades, and zipping around the city on a motorcycle to see the sights. The story, lore, and interesting quests and characters are the real draw here.

I haven’t encountered any game breaking bugs in 80-ish hours of play time. One or two T-poses, a few overlays not loading or floating objects - but nothing terrible. Again, my experience is with Bethesda games. This is all usually fixed by either opening your inventory and closing it again, or exiting out and reloading your save. 

The C button is mapped for crouching AND skipping dialogue by default. That’s terrible. Change it in the settings to be HOLDING C skips dialogue and you’ll be gucci.

There’s apparently a crafting system. I have never been inclined to touch it. But I also play on easy like a pleb so IDK how it all scales otherwise.

The mirror reflections can be a little bit weird, at least on my end. They always end up a teeny bit grainy despite my computer being able to run everything on Ultra Max. You can still get good screens out of it though!

So many people text me to sell me cars and I want them to stop. Please. also the texting menu is abysmal. The rest is ok tho

It’s pretty clear when you’re going to go into a ‘cutscene’. all cutscenes are rendered in-engine BUT you often will be talking to other characters at a specific angle or setting. The game locks you into this usually by having you sit down. It works for me - after all we do a lot of sitting- but it IS very obvious that it’s a way for the game to get you in the frame it wants to display.

That’s all I can think of rn! If you’re interested but wanted to get a slightly better idea of whats going on, I hope this helps. I’m really enjoying it and despite my issues it’s exceeding my expectations. I’m going to be thinking about and replaying this game for quite a while.