#also we learned today that Eddie’s house has a back door

[subtlehaz]

Eddie being very confused/ disturbed by Buck not using his key/ asking to come in was straight out of a fanfic

but also Buck was SO gentle the way he purposely ensured no one else was home/ no one would see him so he could have this necessary conversation immediately

[imfinereallyy]

celebrate softly

it my birthday today so here’s a lil gift from me to you (yes I know that’s not how this works haha) I made a bunch of little things is celebration, i probably won’t post these till later in the day so sorry if you get a bunch at once.

Steve wanted to like his birthday.

No, really, he truly did. He knew that birthdays were the one time of year you get to be a little selfish. The people you loved gathered around you to celebrate another year of you.

It was just that Steve was also used to disappointment.

Over the years, his birthday has consisted of either his parents parading him around at business dinners or the empty silence of a house that wasn’t ever a home.

His old friends were never around. It was a holiday weekend; he didn’t expect them to stick around. Even if they had, Steve was almost sure they would have made him throw a party, where they would have pressured him to get drunk and sleep with someone, and…

Yea, Steve wasn’t interested.

The one birthday he spent with Nancy had been okay. She had to go on a family trip, her parents attempt at getting their kids to cheer up over the loss of their friends, and she was going to leave the morning of his birthday. But at midnight of July 2nd, she had snuck into his window even though she could have walked through the front door. Nancy had brought him a cupcake, a small present, and a soft smile. Steve had wanted to kiss her, but he knew it wasn’t what she wanted then. He wanted to be respectful, so he held her hand instead.

Nancy hadn’t brought a candle, said she didn’t want to risk burning the Harrington Household down. Steve had laughed, saying that would be the best birthday present ever, but she hadn’t laughed back.

The present had been a book. Which wasn’t a terrible gift per se, Steve liked reading it was just he had difficulty doing it. He couldn’t focus long enough, or he would have to reread sentences over and over again.

It just didn’t feel worth the frustration.

But it was sweet of her to get him something, so he tried reading it. It took him months to finish it, even though it was small. It was boring, and Steve had found the main character whiny, and Steve had begun to wonder if Nancy was trying to tell him something.

Then the Upside Down round two had happened, Steve got his ass kicked again and learned that Catcher in the Rye was Jonathan’s favorite book.

Steve had thrown out the book amongst his bloody bandages.

Steve was only slightly hopeful to have a good birthday last year. He had good friends (sure, one was his ex, and the other were children, but he still counted them); Dustin would be home from camp, and even though he had work, he got to spend the whole day bothering Robin, which brought him a special kind of joy.

But then they were cracking Russian code, getting tortured, and watching Max’s Stepbrother die, all within the days of his birthday.

So Steve didn’t have high expectations this year. Sure, people knew it was his birthday, it was hard to hide when he was friends with the nosiest people, but most of them were spending the entire weekend staying with Max, and he would have been too if Max hadn’t thrown a remote at him when he suggested it.

So Steve had conceded to having a quiet but lonely July 2nd.

But then at 7 am there was a knock on his front door.

A knock was putting it lightly, there was pounding echoing in the Harrington Household.

When Steve walked up to the door, he was prepared to drive away some bigots who had been trying to “repent Hawkins.” They had been going around the richer neighborhoods recently, saying we needed to clean up the streets of the sinners and the queers.

Yea, they were knocking on the wrong door.

Steve hadn’t expect Eddie Munson, notorious night owl, to be crowding his doorway at 7 am.

“Harrington, have I ever told you how absolutely ugly your house is? Like for how wealthy your parents are, they chose an absolute nightmare of a layout! It makes no sense.” Eddie budged his way past Steve with his arms full of bags.

“I’ve been telling him that for a year, Eddie, and every time he just shrugs!” Steve turned to find Robin bullying her way through him as well. She had a handful of videos in her hands.

“Sure, come in, I guess,” Steve mumbled. He shut the door and turned toward his intruders. “Not that I don’t love a surprise appearance at—“ Steve checked his watch “—7:03 am, but is there a reason why you are awake before the birds are even chirping?”

Eddie snorted and just gave him a look instead of answering. Robin shook her head, “What doofus hear is trying to convey with a noise, Jesus Eds, I know you’re not a morning, but words please, is that we are obviously here for your birthday. You, Steven Alison Harrington—“

“Not my middle name.”

“—we’re born at exactly 7:07 am on July 2nd. So we had to be here to say happy birthday officially!”

“How do you even know the time? I don’t even know that.”

“She snuck a look at your file last time Owen’s was in town.” Eddie smirked.

Robin hit him upside the head, “Don’t tell him that asshole, he already thinks I’m crazy enough. And don’t act like this wasn’t your idea!”

Eddie rubbed the back his head in dramatic fashion then yelled, “Snitch!” through hissed teeth.

Steve felt himself unthaw at the idea that these two weirdos woke up this early for him. “Ah, well, thanks, guys.” A blush rose on his cheeks, “Well, thanks for stopping by; you guys can go home and sleep if you want.”

“Stevie, did you think we brought all this to just leave? On your birthday. Oh no, no, no. We are having a whole movie and snack day! I brought weed, and chips, and we can order a pizza later in the day. And just be lazy weirdos in your fancy living room.” Eddie hopped up on his coffee table, startling a laugh from Steve.

“That sounds like a typically Friday for us, what’s so special about it?” Steve teased.

“Well we brought all of your favorite movies! Grease, Top Gun, Karate Kid, Indiana Jones...wait I think I'm noticing a theme here—“

“Robin!” Steve screeched, his blush coming back with vengeance. He didn’t want her to reveal there very obvious, and embarrassing pattern to his favorite films.

“And!” Eddie said from atop his place on the coffee table, unfazed by the two of them, “We are paying for the pizza.” His voice oozed with pride at that. Steve was sure he had come up with the idea.

“Wow I’m a spoiled prince. Maybe ever think I wanted to stay in bed?” Steve raised a single eyebrow.

“Oh but my sweet prince, we know you rather spend this glorious day with us.” Eddie was confident, with confidence came the damn nicknames, and Jesus Christ—this blush of his was never going away. “Besides what else could you wish for!”

A kiss from you. Steve thought quickly.

Steve sighed deeply before saying, “Alright. Get down.”

Eddie seemed taken aback, like he hadn’t expected the rejection. “Oh yea man, of course. We will get out of your hair.” He scrambled off the table.

Steve giggled, “No Eds. I’m moving the coffee table. This couch is a pullout. We can all just lay on it while we watch movies.”

Eddie’s face lit up while Robin yelled, “Oh thank god, I’m exhausted.”

An hour later, when the sun was still barely risen and Grease blared in the background, Robin was bundled up in the blankets they dragged from his room, out like a light.

Eddie and Steve huddled close, but didn’t touch. The anticipation and want sat between them. “I actually have something for you.” Eddie whispered.

Robin snored beside them; Steve looked at her fondly. “You don’t have to whisper; she’s a heavy sleeper. Learned that the hard way.”

“Ah well, I have a present for you.”

Steve knows he should say that Eddie shouldn’t have, or insist he returns it. He knew it was the polite thing to do. He couldn’t find it in himself to do it, though. The idea that Eddie even thought to get him something beyond the amazing day they had planned (truly Steve couldn’t ask for a better day), but Eddie had spent his time to get something for Steve.

It was nice to have someone who would do something nice for you just because they can, not because they should. So, Steve waited patiently as Eddie reached into his bag beside the couch.

“Here.” Eddie spoke, placing the roughly wrapped package in his lap.

There was a tiny notecard with Eddie’s chicken scratch on it; Steve decided to read that first.

Stevie,

No adventure is the same without you, and this is the only one I have taken without you by my side. Thought it was about time we changed that. Hopefully we are not forever partners in crime (we’ve had enough of that) but instead, adventurers taking on then great unknown.

Together.

Yours,

Eddie Munson ッ

Steve smoothed over the card and tried not to cry. The poorly drawn smiley face stared up at him from the piece of parchment. Steve tucked it into his pocket for safe keeping; he might even frame it.

Eddie looked at Steve eagerly as he tried to open the package. He does it slowly to tease Eddie; his frustrated little growl made butterflies in Steve’s stomach.

Inside the package is a worn-out book, one he would recognize anywhere, considering he saw it every day on Eddie’s bookshelf. “Eds, this is your copy of Lord of the Rings. I can’t take this.”

Eddie put his hair in front of his mouth, suddenly shy, “Well, it wouldn’t be exactly yours. It’s just I thought it would be fun to, ya know, read it together? Like we take turns reading to each other. I know the kids always bug you to read it, and I noticed that it’s hard for you to focus sometimes, and I get that, so it might be easier if we like make it a thing? I know it’s probably not your interest; it’s my favorite book, not yours, so you know what? This is stupid—“

Steve cut him off by pulling him into a hug. Steve buried himself into Eddie’s neck before saying, “Thank you. It’s the best birthday present.”

“Really?” Eddie pulled back to look at Steve’s face. Whatever he found there must settle him, because he relaxed his shoulders. “I know it’s silly, but I guess I wanted to share this piece of myself with you…and maybe spend some more time together.”

Steve didn’t mention how they spent almost every day together, didn’t think he had to either. They both knew.

Steve decided to be bold instead. He pushed Eddie back into the couch and settled his back into Eddie’s chest. He snuggled into the warmth of his arms.

Steve put the book in Eddie’s hand. “Okay, you read first.”

Eddie laughed; Steve could feel the vibrations from under his skin. It was delightful; it was delicious. “Oh, you want to start now?”

Steve made an indignant noise while Eddie laughed again at him. His hands settled at the back of Steve’s neck as he played with hair that brushed it.

“When Mr Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventyifirst birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was …”

And once again, hours later, when Steve woke up, after drifting to Eddie’s soft, deep voice, Steve felt something settle in him. He felt Eddie lightly snoring beneath him, one hand still tangled in his hair. He felt Robin’s hand wrapped around his ankle, grounding the both of them. And there, between all of them, was the fallen book with no bookmark, signaling they would have to start again.

Maybe, sometimes. Steve thinks, birthdays could be good.

***

projecting. projecting. projecting. that’s me.

I hope you guys liked this one :) I did use my own bday for him, but the time he was born at is different than mine lol. I had a lot of fun writing it, it was just the softness I needed.

[toaster-hair]

There’s a Human in the Neighborhood! chapter 3 part 1

(Theres not really anything gross in this chapter, its like a part 1 to the next chapter. Also, some accidental reader x howdy!)

The sun hit you right in your eyes as you woke up. You got up and stretched a bit, your eyes feeling groggy. You rubbed them a bit to get the eye boogers out. By this point, you were quite well adjusted to your sweet little puppet town. One odd thing though, other than the fact that every other resident was a puppet, was the odd lack of an economy. Almost everyone were unemployed, and were always offering things out for free. You, on the other hand, still had to pay for all of your human things. You were still living off the money you brought with you. You actually applied to a new job only a town away not too long ago, and your first day starts today! You were just glad your neighbors were kind enough not to make you pay for anything for so long.

Sally was an actress, but she really only put on plays for her friends. You certainly hadn’t seen her in any movies before.

Frank was a Lepidopterologist, but he didn’t really seem to do anything with that degree. Other than like, stalking Howdy.

Speaking of Howdy, he was one of the two neighbors with an actual job. And he didn’t even ask to be payed in money! He only asked to be payed in jokes or observations, he used to occasionally ask for payment in a kiss on the cheek, but Wally would always stare at you two when you did, so he eventually just stopped asking. The only other neighbor with a paying job was…

“Oh, howdy Y/N! You’re right on time, I have a letter just for you!” Eddie greeted you as you walked out of your house. You smiled and waved, taking the letter out of his hand. It was from your parents, which was odd. Even if this town seemed a bit old fashioned, you still had modern tech. They could have just called you or better yet just sent a text. Eddie watched you open the envelope in your hand. To your surprise, there was 100 dollars inside! “Wow, Y/N, thats a lot of money! What are you going to do with it?”

“I’m probably going to use some of it to pay for my train ticket. Say, what do you do with your money?” you asked him. “Oh, why don’t you follow me?”

You followed him into Howdy’s place. Wally was in there, crunching an apple with those pretty eyes of his. “Y/N!!” he got up from his seat, holding onto your knee and looking up at you. “Oh, hello honey.” Howdy greeted you. Wally snapped his head back to look at him. Eddie walked over to the counter and began to talk to Howdy. You couldn’t really hear him because Wally was calling for your attention, asking you how you’ve been as he hadn’t seen you that much recently, asking you what you plan on buying and how you’re going to spend your day. 

“Oh honey!” Howdy called you over “Come on, we’re going in the backroom.” You blushed a bit, this pet naming was pretty new, so you weren’t used to it. Wally slowly let go of your leg as he watched you make your way over there. Howdy opened the backroom door for you and Eddie, letting it close behind him. Inside the backroom was multiple large jars full of money.

“You see Y/N,” Eddie started to explain to you “As a community, we all decided it was better to just not use money. That it would be better to provide our services for free for eachother. Overtime, we learned how to live without much care to money, living off of stuff we could find easily without pinching a single penny. Any kind of money we get or find we put in these jars. Howdy has to buy stuff for his shop, so hes usually the only one taking money out of these jars. But if one of our neighbors needs help paying for something, like say installing a toilet, we’ll gladly crack a jar open for them.” You nodded as he explained. “So, if you feel as though you have too much money, you can just come here and add it to a jar. Only if you want to, we won’t force you.”

“We thought making everyone work jobs would make everyone unhappy.” Howdy chimed in. “So, it’s really only us handling the money. Do you have a job, Y/N?” 

“Oh yeah, I do actually. I’m starting today.” You then checked the time on your watch, horrified. You were late! You ran out of the building in a rush, waving everyone goodbye, as you ran to the train station.

[canonicallyobserving911]

Seven Several Sentences Sunday

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

FANON speculation for season 7

Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!” 

Chapter 10 will be posted soon.

I’m excited to finish writing Chapter 10 because a lot is happening and there's still more to come. At the end of Chapter 9, Buck and Eddie were trying to cope with everything that happened during and after Jonah's criminal trial. At the end of day two, Buck had a major panic attack, he asked Eddie to get him out of the courthouse and Eddie drove them home instead of taking Buck back to the loft. Then Buck scheduled an emergency therapy appointment with Dr. Copeland and later that night, after Chris and Buck were already asleep, Eddie spent time trying to decide if he should make an emergency appointment with Frank instead of scheduling one with his new therapist, Dr. Theresa because Frank's a trauma therapist and she's not. He was strongly considering it since both him and Buck were faced yet again with additional ramifications from the shooting.

___________

As a continuation of my WIP Wednesday, here’s a little more of Buck’s conversation with Rhett and Eddie’s conversation with Bertie.

___________

Buck

“Now… if you swipe to the left, I think… well it’s either left or right who knows with all this new fandangle technology… you’ll see a picture of me and my husband.”

Buck swipes left in the photos app and he sees Rhett in a photo with a very handsome man.  If he didn’t know any better, he’d think it was a picture of him and Eddie because the man in the picture standing next to Rhett has dark hair, brown eyes and olive skin just like Eddie.

“You have a beautiful family.”  Buck says as he hands Rhett’s phone back to him.

“Yeah, we did.  Me and Ray…”  Rhett chuckles then continues.  “His real name was Raymundo but after he left his parents’ house, he wouldn’t let anyone call him that anymore.  We didn’t get married until nine years ago but by that time… we’d already been together for more than forty years.  Even though we didn’t need a piece of paper to tell us how much we loved each other, we wanted it… so we had a small wedding in our backyard with our son and his family.  Getting married also allowed me to change my last name from Quinn to Dominquez… it’s on our marriage license and it’s still hanging up in our home today.  I looked at it before I left to come here.”

Buck’s hit with another realization because he knows he’s been wanting to marry Eddie for years but he’s still not sure Eddie wants him so he tucks the little hope he has back into the corner of his heart.

“You didn’t want to keep your last name?”

“No, I didn’t because the last name Quinn didn’t hold anything but hurt and pain for me.  I grew up in an ok family but my parents weren’t ready to be a mom and a dad and I suppose, it affected how emotionally detached they were.  I don’t blame them for it anymore but finally being able to take my husband’s last name after 40 years of us being together was the best because me, him and our son all had the same last name.”

Buck nods his head because the last name Buckley certainly doesn’t mean shit to him anymore.  That’s Phillip’s last name not his and he’s been trying to figure out what he should change it to.  Diaz has a nice ring to it but he’d have to marry Eddie first for that to happen and since he hasn’t told him how he feels, he doesn’t think it ever will.

Where is Buck?  Also, who is Rhett and why is he telling Buck about his life?

_____

Eddie

After they leave the hospital and they get back inside of the ambulance, it only takes Bertie a few seconds to mention something about Loni.

She closes the driver’s side door, looks at Eddie then says, “She lives on the outskirts of Los Angeles and if anything ever happens to the solitary road that leads to her house, no one will be able to get to her”.

He shrugs his shoulders then says, “Well… she said she likes living out there and she likes the peace and quiet”.

“Yeah, she did say that and she also said the reason why she did it was because she figured she wouldn’t find love again.  So, maybe her decision to live all the way out in an area of Los Angeles that resembles ‘Death Valley’ wasn’t completely about her desire to live in peace and quiet.”

She turns her head to crank the ambulance, then she looks over at Eddie again.  “Some people choose to be alone while others feel like it’s their only option.  Neither choice is wrong but if someone doesn’t want to die alone, they don’t have to”.

Almost immediately after the words leave Bertie’s lips, Eddie feels like someone is screaming at him even though he’ll never admit it’s the universe.  Over the last few days, several people have told him things that remind him of that Geoffrey Chaucer quote, “Time and tide wait for no man” and he realizes he might be running out of time to have a conversation with Buck.

Who is Bertie?  Why is Eddie partnered with her and will he listen to the things she's saying?

___________

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

__________

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 -Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 -After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are part of the foundation when a couple builds a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - Will be posted soon.

__________

I’m enjoying writing this fic because it’s giving me the chance to unravel the mess that was the 6x18 ending for Buck, Eddie and Chris.  Also, it’s taking them places the show refuses to go including Buck finally having a mental breakdown and Eddie being there for him the same way he was there for Eddie in season 5.

Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading

Read chapters 1 - 9 are already available on AO3.

[berenwrites]

Whole New Us Ch7 - Stranger Things - Steddie

Whole New Us: Trauma Bonded and Beyond

Also on AO3 | Or here CH1 | CH2 | CH3 | CH4 | CH5 | CH6 | CH7 | CH8 | CH9 | CH10 | CH11 | CH12 | CH13 | CH14 | CH15 | CH16 | CH17 | CH18 | CH19 | CH20 | CH21 | CH22 | CH23 | CH24 | CH25 (Mature) | CH25 (Fade to black) COMPLETE

Summary: Steve has been ignoring his own problems, he’s been busy. They’ve all been busy, preoccupied with fixing everything that was broken. Vecna has been defeated, but the Upside Down is still there, and the gates are not completely closed even though Hawkins has almost returned to normal. It’s been a couple of months and the aftereffects of Steve’s encounter with the demobats is about to come back to bite him. However, it also brings some unexpected hope.

Pairing: steddie (Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson)

Rating: Teen (with mature content in later chapters)

Chapter 7.    Together We Stand or Sit or Lie or Whatever!

When it finally started to get dark, Hopper made noises about heading home with El. He offered to stay, but Steve could see El was tired and he knew she slept better when she was home. However, before the pair left, Steve did catch El to talk to her about Eddie.

“Do you need to, y’know, do your thing with Eddie like you did with me?” he asked quietly.

To his surprised El smiled and shook her head.

“Only you looked really unsure earlier,” he pointed out.

“But then I saw how you were with Eddie,” she said winding her arms around him for a surprise hug. “You would know,” she whispered in his ear.

And with that she was off to Hopper’s side, and they were leaving. Steve closed the door after them and did his best to believe what El had told him. He wasn’t used to being the one with any of the superpowers.

“So, bed?” he asked, walking back to where Eddie seemed partially awake on the couch and Robin was pushing around a couple of stray M&Ms on the coffee table.

“I get the wall,” Robin said, standing up. “I am not falling out in the middle of the night.”

“Then Eddie can have the middle and I’ll take the oh so dangerous outside,” Steve agreed and offered his hand to Eddie.

“So, we’re like..?” Eddie kind of asked.

“All sharing Steve’s bed,” Robin said with her usual complete lack of tact. “Sleeping alone sucks after trauma, and today had trauma with a capital T. Well unless you really hate the idea,” she added as she thought about it.

Eddie shook his head.

“No,” he said looking between them both, “I don’t hate it.”

“Great,” Steve said, giving Eddie a smile and pulling him upright as his offered hand was accepted. “Now how are you feeling about the stairs?”

“I can manage oh gallant knight,” Eddie replied, “but thanks.”

“I’ll take that piggyback ride then,” Robin decided and launched herself at Steve without any other warning.

“You’re lucky I have the reflexes of a cat,” he said, laughing as he caught her under the legs before she could slip right off again.

“Shouldn’t that be bat?” she asked, clinging on around his neck.

“I will drop you,” he warned.

“Yeah, Buckley,” Eddie joined in, “we don’t mention bats in this house, well unless they have nails in them.”

It amazed Steve any of them could joke about it, but especially Eddie, who had literally only been out of the Upside Down for half a day. He followed Eddie up the stairs with Robin’s chin digging into his shoulder and couldn’t help wondering what was going through Eddie’s head. What could it be like to know you were missing months of time, but still feel the terror of it anyway. And he knew there was terror, he’d felt it when dreaming of Eddie too many times.

He made a decision then. Eddie was never going to have to deal with anything like that again, not on his watch. Eddie was his to protect now, like Robin, like the kids, like Nancy. They might not have known each other well yet, but they had been into battle together. Steve would learn about his new friend as he had done with everyone else and there was nothing Eddie was going to be able to do about it. And if he was quickly developing a special place in his heart for Eddie, right next to Robin and Dustin, no one had to know but him.

“I know that look,” Robin said after she’d used the bathroom and let Eddie go in next. “You’ve adopted another one, haven’t you. No getting away now.”

“Don’t worry, Robs,” he said, giving her a nudge with his arm, “no one’s gonna replace you.”

“I know,” she replied with a grin, “that would be impossible.”

Steve laughed and felt a little more of the tension of the day fall away. Nothing had quite gone how he expected, but in some ways it was better.

After he’d cleaned his teeth and used the bathroom it was time to settle down to get some sleep. Robin was scooched up against the wall, looking perfectly comfortable, and Eddie’s eyelids were already drooping again, but the tension in his shoulders telegraphed quite how out of place he was feeling. It couldn’t have been too bad, because Steve wasn’t picking up anything before climbing in, but he could still tell.

“Just think of it as a sleepover,” Robin said, thumping the pillow to get it just the way she wanted it.

“I’ve never been to a sleepover,” Eddie protested. “And since when did you ever have a sleepover with two guys who could eat you without a second thought.”

“I’m sure you’re a gentleman,” Robin replied, apparently completely unbothered. “And if you get peckish, just nibble on Steve, I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“Thanks, Robs,” Steve said, making himself comfortable in the space left, “always knew I could count on you. Just so you know, Eddie, if Robin has a bad dream she flails, so beware of the elbows.”

“Deadly weapons,” Robin admitted, even as she turned over and snuggled down. “And Steve snores,” she added for good measure.

“Shut up, Buckley,” was Steve’s response to that.

“You two are weird,” Eddie said in a vaguely exasperated tone.

“We know,” they replied as one, before both giggling like they were six.

It had been a very long mentally and physically exhausting day, but Steve refused to dwell on it. He needed to look after Eddie, so he locked all that shit away in another part of his brain, focusing on the good instead. Shifting slightly, he nudged his lower leg against Eddie’s and let the other’s presence settle in the back of his mind like he hoped his was doing for Eddie.

“That’s cheating, Harrington,” Eddie said, voice going heavy with sleep straight away.

“Sue me,” was all he replied.

~*~

All those in the know had been told of Eddie’s survival via Murray who had means of communication the government did not know about and could not monitor. Which neatly left out the suits for now. Even Hopper had agreed that they could wait. However, that left one very important person in Eddie’s life who was still out of the loop. The government had set Wayne up in a small apartment, since the trailer park was half destroyed, and he’d been fobbed off with the same story as the rest of the town.

Hopper had taken it upon himself to make friends with Eddie’s uncle, and Steve had tried a couple of times, but he’d been politely rejected. Wayne had let them help him move, including all of Eddie’s stuff that had survived, but that was it.

Hence Steve was watching Eddie pace up and down his living room as they waited for Hopper to collect Wayne and bring him over. It had been anything but a settled night, although they had all managed some sleep at least. It had been unanimously decided that Wayne needed to know the truth, all of it. With everything that had happened, there was no way Eddie could maintain a close relationship with his uncle and Wayne not know what had been going on. Nancy was sitting on one of the couches with notes, since everyone also agreed that she was the most likely to tell it in a manner Wayne would understand.

Summer break was just around the corner, but it wasn’t quite with them yet, so the kids and Robin were all at school, what with it being a Monday. The only reason Nancy wasn’t was because she had insisted and it wasn’t like her grades would suffer for missing one day.

When the sound of a car coming up the drive made it into the house, Eddie kind of froze. What Steve really wanted to do was hug his friend, but he was well aware that probably wouldn’t help at this moment in time. They were standing just round the corner, so when Hopper opened the door that Steve had left on the latch, they were still hidden.

“What’s this all about, Jim?” Wayne asked as he and Hopper walked in. “Why you brought me to the Harrington house?”

Eddie looked like he might bolt at any second, so Steve stepped around the corner.

“Hi, Mr Munson,” he said, “please come in.”

“It’s like I said, Wayne,” Hopper added, “there are some things you need to know.”

Wayne stepped forward into the living room. He noticed Nancy first, but Steve saw him scan the room, before his eyes alighted on Eddie.

“Oh my lord,” Wayne said. “Eddie? Oh … Eddie.”

There was no gap between Wayne’s recognition and his reaction as he walked straight up to his nephew and dragged him into a rib creaking hug.

“My boy, my boy’s alive,” Wayne said, tears in his voice.

Tears prickled the back of Steve’s eyes as he watched Eddie melt into the embrace. None of the rest of them moved, letting the two have their moment.

“Uncle Wayne,” Eddie said, crying into Wayne’s shoulder.

When Wayne finally pulled back, he took Eddie’s face in his hands and Steve could only guess at the look that passed between the two.

“What happened, Kid?” Wayne asked, gently touching the scar on Eddie’s cheek.

“That’s what we’re here to explain, Mr Munson,” Nancy said. “It might take a while and involves a place called the Upside Down.”

Wayne ended up on the couch next to Nancy, with Eddie beside him, while Steve and Hopper hovered close, backing up everything that Nancy was saying.

“So, these bat things, they attacked Eddie, and you just left him there?” Wayne said, glaring at Steve when they reached that part of the explanation.

“They thought I was dead, Wayne,” Eddie tried to placate him.

“But you weren’t, Kid, and they abandoned you,” Wayne countered.

“I kind of was for a while,” Eddie said in little more than a whisper.

Wayne turned to his nephew and Steve could see how frightened Eddie was, he could feel it.

“Mr Munson,” he said, drawing Wayne’s attention away from Eddie, “there was something different about the demobats, something none of us knew, that we’d never seen before. Their blood isn’t like the other creatures we’ve encountered. When it gets into someone’s system either through wounds or another way, it changes them.”

When Wayne turned angry eyes on him, Steve let the otherness out.

“By all that is holy,” Wayne said, shying away as his eyes went big and round.

Hopper walked over and placed his hand on Steve’s shoulder.

“When Steve changed, he came to me,” Hopper said. “That was two days ago. It was because of Steve we realised Eddie was still alive.”

Wayne turned back to Eddie.

“I’m like Steve,” Eddie said in barely a whisper, letting his eyes change colour, even though everything else remained human. “I died, but we think I was already changing so I came back. They came to get me, Uncle Wayne, even though the Upside Down is still crazy dangerous. Steve carried me home.”

Steve let Wayne look for a while longer as the man stared at him, before allowing the differences to fade.

“You carried my boy out of that hell hole?” Wayne asked, looking him in the eye.

“Yes, Sir,” Steve replied, “like I couldn’t before. I’m so sorry it…”

Wayne held up his hand, so Steve shut his mouth. For what seemed like forever in the silence, Wayne sat there, hand finding Eddie’s but not looking at Steve or his nephew.

“What I’m hearing,” Wayne said eventually, looking back at Steve, “is you did what you could as soon as you knew. Can’t ask for more than that.”

That said, Wayne turned back to Eddie and dragged him into another hug.

“You’ll always be my boy,” Wayne said, which made Eddie cry all over again.

“So, about this Vecna character?” Wayne eventually asked, so Nancy continued the explanation to bring Wayne up to date on how dead Vecna was and how that had come about.

While they were discussing the final battle, Steve slipped into the kitchen, grabbed five beers that he wasn’t supposed to have, and came back. Hopper didn’t even bat an eye as Steve handed them round.

End of Chapter 7

Chapter 8

[extasiswings]

Tagged by @tripleaxeldiaz to name five favorite fics from my own, so! Here goes!

graveyard whistling (and why things hurt)

“Eddie?”

Buck’s hand touches his shoulder and Eddie inhales sharply and comes back to himself. His eyes flick back to the phone—the screen now dimmed and black—then settle on the counter next to it as he swallows hard.

“You okay?” Buck asks quietly.

“She died today,” Eddie replies. “And I forgot. I forgot that it was today.”

[In which Eddie and I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about Grief.] 

about love

“This is not a love story, but love is in it. That is, love is just outside it, looking for a way to break in.”

[Or: Christopher grows up, Eddie has feelings about it, and Buck finally gets them all on the same page.]

[This is one of those little things I wrote ages ago during the S3 hiatus and I always forget about it but it’s really quite sweet.]  

dream of some epiphany

Evan Buckley is lost.

It’s happenstance that he wanders into the navy recruiting center—he’s been in San Diego for a few weeks, bartending late nights and weekends, living in a house with three other guys not because he needs the roommates but because he doesn’t want to be alone, and the military is…respectable. Stable. So Buck thinks maybe and opens the door.

Buck leaves ten minutes later with a set of printed instructions for sending his first letter, assured that he can drop it off whenever he’s ready, and a name.

Staff Sergeant Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz.

[Letter writing pre-canon AU, my beloved.] 

ripping all the skin from off my bones (have mercy)

Eddie can’t sleep.

I don’t even think about him anymore, that’s what he said months ago when he landed in the ER with a panic attack. I don’t even think about him anymore.

Not a lie.

Not the truth either. But not a lie. Not quite.

He doesn’t think about the sniper. But he thinks about the shooting. He has hours every night to replay it over and over now that he can’t seem to block it out, the lightning strike of a bullet slamming into him, the icy numbness of bleeding out on hot asphalt.

And Buck.

Buck’s mouth, his face, his white shirt, splattered with blood, eyes wide in shock and horror.

Buck.

What are you afraid of?

[Aka the 5B Eddie Breakdown “head empty, just vibes” fic that gripped me by the throat and demanded to be written.]

of men and of angels

For now we see in a mirror, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know fully even as also I was fully known. - 1 Corinthians 13:12

Eddie Diaz learns a lot as a kid.

Boys aren’t soft.

Boys don’t cry.

Boys don’t kiss boys.

As he gets older, he realizes that everything has exceptions. Boys can be soft sometimes. Boys can cry sometimes. And some boys kiss other boys.

But Eddie likes kissing girls. And since he likes kissing girls, that’s the end of the story.

Isn’t it?

[Or: the one with all the repression]

And a bonus WIP:

Stuck on Fast Forward (Throw Away the Blueprint) because I’m having far too much fun with post-S5 FWB Buddie.  

[riality-check]

I have GOT to know more about your Eddie wip (Born to Run) 👀

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING because I have SO MUCH TO SAY!!

So far I’ve drafted:

How Eddie learns to love reading

How Eddie learns to love metal

Books as a constant in Eddie’s life while he moves around

Eddie getting to Wayne’s

Eddie realizing he likes boys

Eddie’s one and only try at dating a boy in Hawkins (pre-canon) and his coming out to Wayne

How Eddie gets the nickname of “The Freak” (spoiler alert: Steve gives it to him)

Eddie’s reaction to him needing to do senior year for a third time

I have the following planned but I need to write it:

Eddie’s reaction to him needing to do senior year a second time

Eddie’s tattoos over the years

How Corroded Coffin starts and continues

How Eddie gets into drug dealing (featuring Reefer Rick as an actual character lmao)

How Eddie gets into D&D (also featuring Rick)

Eddie in choir before he dropped it for drama freshman year

More on Eddie’s parents and growing up with them

How Eddie starts hanging out at Thatcher Tire (featuring an OC that I’m so excited to share!!)

Eddie hiding his Appalachian accent in Hawkins

Lots more that I can’t think of right now!!

I’m thinking I’m gonna split it up by location/year, and I’m thinking it’s gonna end up 8 chapters. It’s massive, for me. I’m 8k words in and it doesn’t look like I’m stopping anytime soon.

And I’m gonna sign off with a short snippet:

Mama and Pa are fighting again.

Eddie’s on his mattress in a room on the other side of the house, door closed, and he can still hear them. It’s not as loud and scary like this, but it’s still loud and scary.

It’s the end of summer, and it’s starting to get colder at night, so Eddie knows they’re moving again soon. He thinks they’re gonna find another house like this, a big one with lots of rooms and new people who have the same little baggies as Mama and Pa, but they could be staying in a motel again. He isn’t really sure.

His parents are still fighting. Eddie thinks he hears the word “rent” from Pa and his name from Mama.

He turns over and covers his ears. It’s a shame that school starts next week and not today.

Then, something makes a loud crash. Mama screams, and Pa starts shouting loud enough for Eddie to make out his words, even though he doesn’t want to.

“I know he starts school soon, but I can find a place and a job by then!”

“What if I can’t?” Mama shouts back. “We can’t afford to live anywhere without both of us working.”

“I guess you better find a job, then.”

“Oh, because that’ll be so easy-”

Another crash cuts Mama off, and then both of them are screaming made-up words, words Pa taught Eddie and Mama told Eddie not to repeat.

Eddie rolls off his mattress and onto the floor - it’s not a long drop, the mattress is on the floor - and races to the beat up stereo on a table in the corner of the room. He turns it on and starts flipping through the stations that don’t have static, trying to find the loudest one. He flips the tune dial one more time and lands on it.

It is drums so loud they crash in Eddie’s head. It is bass that thumps the stereo so hard the table it’s on squeaks. It is a voice screaming about life and love and other things Eddie can’t understand. It is music.

It is a dazzling guitar, shifting from one note to the next so fast Eddie has to race to hear it.

He listens to this station for the rest of the day, tapping his feet to the beat and playing air guitar during the solos. He listens to the DJs during the breaks and makes sure to remember the names of the bands: Black Sabbath, KISS, Judas Priest, Rush.

He listens to this station and itches for a guitar to run his hands over, for a microphone he can scream into. He listens to this station and can’t hear if Mama and Pa are fighting anymore until Pa comes into the room, unsteady on his feet, and turns the stereo down halfway.

“Just a little quieter, Ed, I got a headache and people are trying to sleep,” Pa says. His words are unsteady, too.

When he leaves, Eddie sits closer to the stereo so his head is full of nothing but music.

[eddieheart]

HELP

(Part one)

Fandom: Stranger Things

Pairings: NONE

Words: 782

Description: Hopper and Joyce get a home Heath aid for the kids.

Roxi awoke that morning full of nervous glee, she started her new job today and she was beyond exited. A few weeks ago Chief Hopper had found her add in the paper and called her in for an interview. Apparently it went well because today, instead of going to the police station, she was going to their actual house.

Fumbling to get out of bed her legs got caught in her sheets. Roxanne blew a piece of stray hair from her face and stumbled into the bathroom. She quickly freshened up and grabbed a coffee before rushing out the door to get to her car.

She drove down a winding road, deeper and deeper into the woods. When she arrived she realized that the house was more akin to a log cabin. The chief was standing outside the building waiting for her.

Stumbling out of the car she grabbed her bag and made her way to the door.

"Hello Chief, nice to see you again." Roxanne smiled kindly at the man.

"Call me Hopper. I'll show you around." She followed the larger man inside.

As she walked inside she was immediately greeted by several new faces. Three kids sat on the couch and another three on the ground, looking into the kitchen she could see two older  kids and an older woman.

"This is Joyce and her son Johnathon and his girlfriend Nancy. Joyce lives here with us, but the kids are just visiting. Um here we have Will, Johnathan's brother, Mike, Nancy's brother and my daughter El. And these three lovely kids are Eddie, Dustin and Max. You'll be helping them out." He pointed to each person as he spoke and Roxanne have a small wave to them in greeting.

He motioned for her to speak so she stepped forward and cleared her throat.

"Oh, um... Hi, I'm Roxanne. I'm a home care aid." She grabbed the straps of her bag tightly.

She noticed the younger girl, Max, was staring off into nothing and she could hear Joyce, Johnathan and Nancy working away in the kitchen.

Hopper nodded in her direction and motioned for her to follow him as he walked to the kitchen. He pulled out a chair for her to sit in, he was across from her also sitting and the three working in the kitchen were within earshot.

"So the three musketeers there all have mobility issues so they're on the first floor. Neither Eddie or Dustin have mobility aids but they do on occasion have trouble walking. Max does have aids, on good days she'll use crutches or nothing and on bad days she has her chair. Max also has almost total vision loss. Is this something you'll be able to deal with?" He asked sombrely quirking a brow in her direction.

"Yes of course sir, I've worked with the visually impaired before as well as those with mobility issue. I do have to say that I've never worked specifically with children, but im willing to learn what's best for them." That seemed to be the right thing to say because the burley man smiled at her in return.

"Great. You can start now if you'd like, just to get used to working with the kids." Joyce said from beside her.

Nodding Roxanne stood and made her way to the living room. The presence of all six kids was almost intimidating.

"Hey guys, what are you up to?" She asked as casually as she could.

All but Max turned to face her, the younger boy with curly hair, Dustin, perked up.

"We're working on our DnD characters, El still hasn't made hers, we have to keep writing our campaign too. The campaign is like the outline of the story it-." The older boy beside him nudged Dustin with his shoulder.

"Oh! Have you decided your race and class yet?" She asked in excitement.

El looked back at her, confused, and shook her head.

"No." The young girl said blankly. Roxanne got up and grabbed a stray piece of blank paper and a pencil. She wrote a few things down on the page and began asking El question.

"So, there's a lot of races in DnD, do you know any, or have any idea of which one you want to be?" El shook her head and turned towards Mike in question.

"We were thinking about maybe an Elf or half elf. Um.. how do you know so much about DnD?" The young boy asked.

Roxanne's smile fell at the question and looked back over.

"I um... I used to know someone who played." She said softly. "So, half elf? We're you think warlock or sorcerer or maybe a Rouge?"

@buggylad

[libraryofloveletters]

also. 15+16 with eddie fluff/comfort including chris because he’s adorable

You Feel Like Home

Eddie Diaz x Reader

Warnings: fem!reader, mentions of alcohol

Prompts: #15: “Did you let yourself in?” // #16: “How did you get in my house?”

Category: fluff

Word Count: 2.1k

Author’s Note: here’s a lil something because I haven’t posted a x reader in so long. Also I didn’t check for errors cause I'm lazy so ignore any mistakes :) 

----

It’s raining, the streets were drenching with water and muck which you found yourself staring at as you sat in your car at the intersection.

You had left your job, more like you were fired for something you didn’t do but you hated your job, 100 and 10% despited it and everyone there- needless to say, you didn’t mind not being there anymore.

The shitty weather on top of the idea of having to find a new job was putting more than damper on your day. So here you were in the middle of the day driving to your best friend’s house. He doesn't like to admit that he’s your best friend but he is and you both knew that.

The driveway was empty and the house was dark, at least from what you could see. Hopping out of the car, you make your way to the front door, the rain drenching your clothing. The key to his house hanging from the bunch you held in your hand, you let yourself in.

“Anyone home?” shouting into the dark house, slipping off your shoes.

There was no answer, you assumed Eddie was at work and Chris was still at school which made sense considering it was 2:30 on a Friday afternoon.

A puddle of water trialed behind you on your way to the bathroom, stopping to get a towel from the cupboard. The wet clothes get stripped off and tossed into the tub, making a mental note to come back and put them in the dryer after you get something to wear.

The towel now wrapped around you, you find your way down the hallway and into Eddie’s bedroom. There was a basket of folded laundry on the bed, deciding that it’s probably better to get something from the basket than to tumble through his drawers.

Just as you go to drop the towel, you hear the front door open and then a woman’s voice.

“Shit shit shit” you mumble to yourself and look around the room frantically- there’s no way you could get dressed before the person gets to the room, you have no choice but you stay the way you are.

The footsteps approaching the room, a knock on the door before it opens, Carla sticks her head in the room and you let out a breath of relief.

“Jesus, it’s just you” sitting on the bed, you smile at her and she laughs softly.

“Who’d you think it was hun?”

“I thought Eddie had come home, with a woman. That would have been hard to explain- ya know, a woman in a towel in his bedroom while he’s not home.”

“Mhm hm,” Carla has one of her famous mischievous looks on her face. “Sure, because it’s normal for you to be half naked in his bedroom when he isn't home.” She laughs.

“Were you waiting for him?” she teased, your face twists and you groan.

“Carla! No, god. I had a shitty day and I wanted to hang out. It was raining cats and dogs when I got here and my clothes got wet.” you explain what happened and she gives you a hum, stepping back out and leaving you to change.

You can hear laughter coming from the bedroom down the hall, you make your way there. Chris sat on his bed, looking out his window while he was on the phone.

“Love you too dad, bye” the phone is set beside him on the bed, you knock on the door and Chris looks back, his face lighting up when he sees you.

“Hey kiddo” smiling at the boy who’s now making his way over to you, you step into the room and meet him halfway.

“Hi! What are you doing here?” he asks you, hugging you.

“Came by to see your dad but he wasn’t home. I’m better now because you’re free” looking down at him, Christopher laughs and holds your hand as the two of you walk down the hallway to the living room. Carla brings him a snack and joins the two of you in the living room, Christopher telling you both about his day at school.

----

Eddie runs to the front door from his truck, the rain had been pouring all day.

“I’m home!” he shouts, as he steps in only for Carla to shush him from the kitchen.

His face screws and he makes his way down the hallway to Christopher’s room but he wasn't in there. Carla sat in the kitchen reading her book, she smiles when he steps in the kitchen.

“Hey, where’s Chris ?” he asks, washing his hands and pulling a pot out of the cupboard.

“Shower,” shutting the book, she slips it into her bag. “You’re going ?” Eddie glances over his shoulder, pouting slightly. Carla always helps him with dinner and truthfully, she’s the better cook out of the two.

“I’ve got myself a hot date tonight” She tells him, giving him a smile before making her way to the front door.

Eddie follows her, “what? really? But who’s going to keep me company while Chris does his homework ?” his hand coming up to his chest as he sighs dramatically.

Carla’s hand meets his, patting his chest. “Chris is done with his work, he had help” nodding towards the couch, Eddie follows her gesture to see you sleep on the couch.

“When did- are those my clothes ?” his mouth hung in disbelief.

Why were you asleep on his couch in his clothes ? He wasn't even home, how the hell did you get in ?

“Mhm hm” Carla hums, a soft laugh slipping past her lips. “Have fun sugar, I'll be back in the morning. Tell lil man I said bye” She steps out, pulling the door shut behind her.

The pattering of feet pulled Eddie’s attention away from a sleeping you on the couch.

“Dad!” Chris’s smile lit up the room, Eddie found himself smiling at his son.

“Hey buddy” he kneeled to hug him, holding him close after a long day at work.

“How was work ?” Christopher asks his father as the two make their way to the kitchen.  

“It was a fine, normal day of us saving the city” Eddie chuckled, smiling at his son who was sitting at the table now. “Hey bud?”

“Mhm hm ?”

“When did y/n get here?”

“I don’t know, she was here when me and Carla got home” he shrugs, turning his attention back to something Eddie had left out on the table.

Eddie is half way into the fridge and it was down to its bare bones. A carton of milk, two eggs left in a tray and a half used stick of butter - guess he had forgotten to go grocery shopping yesterday.

“How does pizza for dinner sound?” Eddie turns to Chris who’s nodding eagerly. Pizza was the way to that kid’s heart.

---

dinner was short, the boys talked about their day. Chris told his father all about his day at school and how they learned about the atmosphere and space in science class and Eddie told him about a resume they had today - the safe for work details of course, he always left out the gruesome parts.

“So Carla told me y/n helped with your homework ?”

“Yeah, I only had math work to do. It was easy”

Eddie hums, it was still relatively early and a Friday afternoon, he thought why not have a movie night.

“Here’s the plan for tonight, you tidy up your room real quick and then we can build a fort and have movie night. How does that sound ?”

“Like a plan!” he smiles at Eddie before getting up. Eddie sits at the table watching Chris make his way into the hallway and towards the bathroom.

The sound of a snore brought him back to reality, he remembered you were still on the couch asleep. He quietly got up and made his way over, crouching in front of the couch.

You looked at peace, which was strange to him because the two of you are always bickering or poking each other about something. The only times he had seen you smile was if someone made fun of him or if you were with Chris - he had never actually seen you relaxed.

“Take a picture and leave or I'm filing a restraining order” you mumble sleepily. Eddie laughed, you were always teasing him about his stare.

Eddie stands, lifting your legs and sitting before dropping them down onto his lap. “How did you get in my house? Did you let yourself in?”

“I used the key” rolling onto your jacket, you shift upwards slightly. The disapproval on Eddie’s face was very much visible.

“I gave you that key for emergencies!”

“It was an emergency!”

Eddie sighs, his hand rubbing the piece of bare skin showing from the rolled up pants. The room is quick, the sound of the rain pouring echoed through the house.

“What’s on your mind ? I can practically see the wrinkles forming on your face”

“Hey!” you nudged him with your foot while he laughed. “Nothing,” sitting up to face him properly. “I just had a shitty day and wanted to see my bes- my friend.”

A small smile appeared on his face. “Your what ?” “Shut up Eddie”

“No no, say it” he grabs your foot, his fingers reaching to the sole of your foot. Your eyes widen, shaking your head. “Don’t you dare.”

“Oh but I do” he smirks before tickling the bottom of your foot. You try to pull your foot away but you’re laughing and wiggling around on the couch so much that you end up rolling off but your foot is still on Eddie’s lap.

There you were lying diagonally off the couch with your feet on his lap. He shifts to the floor, now sitting beside you. The two of you have your backs up against the couch.

“Seriously, talk to me. What’s up ?”

“Just wanted some company. Work was shitty and I- I don’t know. I didn’t know where to go. There’s nothing waiting for me at my place, the weather’s kinda depressing so I didn’t want to go drinking because it would just make me sad” you chuckle, turning your head to face him.

“I got in the car and just drove and I ended up here. This is home, you know? ” you admit. Humming, he smiles.

“I’m glad you felt like you could come here.”

“Well I know you couldn’t kick me out. You love me and my puppy face too much” you pout playfully making his laugh before nudging you with his shoulder.

Eddie’s arm is now over your shoulder, pulling you into his side. “You’re welcomed here anytime.” he presses a kiss to the top of your head.

Tilting your head from his shoulder, you're now face to face with him. There had always been unspoken feelings between the two of you, everyone could see that - even the two of you.

He leans in, a hand cupping your cheek like it was chiseled to fit the curve of your structure perfectly.

The palm of your hand wraps around his wrist, leaning closer to him.

This was the moment you were waiting for.

“DAD!” Chris shouts, causing Eddie to pull away. Not that either of you minded but there does that moment.

“Yeah ?” His hand was still cupping your cheek. “Can we watch a movie now?”

“Of course, pick one out.” He moves his hand to give the remote to Chris, you cheek cold from the loss of touch.

The 3 of you settle into the couch, Christopher between the two of you. The boy settled on Space Jam though he had seen it a million times.

Eddie’s arm is stretched over the back of the couch. It was bent at an awkward position, his fingers barely grazing your cheek, letting you know that he’s right there.

The two of you shared stolen glances all night, watching each other more than the movie. Eventually Chris fell asleep between the two of you.

You felt safe, peaceful, home.

This felt like home.

----- 

taglist: @hailsstormthings @averyhotchner @captainxholmes @advicefromnixxxx @keenmarvellover @beth-winchester21 @fernandaweasley2 @yikesyikesyikes95 @hotchsdarling @duhbar1975 @dralexreid

[milenadaniels]

Actually, Truly, 14k - Buck/Eddie, Helena POV, post-s4 (AO3)

Isabel calls to tell them Eddie's been shot on a Thursday afternoon and by lunch on Friday Helena and Ramon are landing at LAX. When they land, they learn Eddie's already home recovering and has been for two weeks.

----

Or, Helena (and Ramon) tries to find a way back into Eddie's life and doesn't know what to make of finding Buck around every corner she turns.

Isabel calls on a Thursday afternoon and by lunch on Friday Helena and Ramon are landing at LAX. Their son’s been shot, again, in the line of duty. But this time, instead of being thousands of miles away and out of reach, he’s just a short plane ride away.

Isabel insists they come to her house before going to the hospital but she doesn’t blame COVID protocols for keeping them away from the hospital, so they spend the car ride over imagining the worst.

A complication with surgery.

Permanent damage.

A coma.

The news they receive is that Eddie’s fine, and he’s been home and recuperating for two weeks already.

Helena retreats to the living room while Ramon and his mother fight in the kitchen. They’re yelling in Spanish and for once she wishes she’d never learned.

“Escúchame, Ramon,” Isabel tries to interrupt. Listen to me.

The yelling continues because Ramon doesn’t listen. It’s not his strong suit. Nor is it Helena’s.

Helena paces the length of the living room and holds her phone in her hands, thumb over Eddie’s name in FaceTime, not pressing down.

Eddie’s been home for two weeks.

Isabel hadn’t told them for two weeks.

But Eddie hadn’t either.

They hadn’t seen him in person in nearly two years, and he hadn’t called them since their last fight over a month ago.

Still, Eddie was shot in the streets by a sniper and he didn’t call them.

Mom, listen...

The last time they spoke, it was a phone call, not a video chat, maybe because at that point just the sight of each others’ faces was enough to set them all off. In that phone call, Eddie spoke of a friend whose family was somehow worse off than their own, but who, miraculously, were finally making the effort to fix the broken ties between them in therapy.

“Mom, listen… I spent a long time being angry with Shannon instead of trying to reach out to her and now Christopher is never going to have her in his life again. I don’t want that with you,” Eddie said, his voice brusque but calm, measured. “I don’t want to grin and bear it when you call or when we visit. I want to be glad to pick up the phone, I want to be excited to see you all at Christmas, I want you to be part of our lives. But I can’t do that without you meeting me halfway.” He was resolute, but he was pleading too. “I don’t want to spend the next ten years of our lives like this.”

But the idea of therapy was anathema to the Diaz family and it took only Ramon’s dismissive scoff to reinforce her own distaste of the idea. They called Eddie back to say they had no intention of paying a stranger to tell them everything was their fault and he was blameless.

They didn’t get another call after that.

“— my son!” Ramon yells at Isabel in the kitchen.

“Because, mijo, when you come here, you don’t see your son! You don’t see him living here, growing, Christopher thriving! You don’t see how when you come up here you bring sadness and misery when you should bring joy and comfort.” The words are too close to what Eddie said for them not to have spoken about it together. “By the time I knew he was hurt, he was already out of surgery and doing well. If he wasn’t, I would have called immediately.”

“Oh bueno, so you’ll tell me my son is dying but not that he’s okay?”

“Ramon! Escúchame.” It’s not often that Helena gets to bear witness to the steel in Isabel’s voice, the one she passed down to both her kids. It’s in fine form today. “He was doing well, and had all the help he needed. As soon as things stabilized, I called you. Keep acting like a fool and see if I call you at all next time.”

“If you call? Are you —”

Mom, listen…

“Ramon!” Helena snaps, surprising them all.

“Ramon,” she repeats, more calmly this time. “Listen to her.”

The shock on Isabel’s face almost makes her smile, but her heart is too heavy to commit to it.

“Helena, two weeks she —”

“Our son was shot, and he didn’t tell us.” Helena says, her voice trembling. “Our son was shot, he could have died, and the last thing we would have told him is we weren’t willing to fight for him and Christopher. Weren’t willing to — what? — put our egos aside? Our pride? For one fucking minute to listen to him. To listen to what he needed.”

Ramon’s eyes widen and he hangs his head with a sigh.

Helena faces Isabel, her phone tucked in her palm against her stomach.

“What can we do? We’re listening.”

——————-

Ramon walks it off and Helena helps Isabel in the kitchen in exchange for a promise they’ll go over to Eddie’s for supper. She’s been making care packages for Eddie and Christopher since the shooting, and she’s working on a pasta sauce while Helena starts on her famous banana brown sugar bread — Eddie’s favourite.

“How is he, really?” she asks once her dish is tucked into the oven.

“As well as can be expected,” Isabel replies, throwing spices into the pot with an ease Helena never grew into. “He was tired for the first few days, but now it’s like a broken arm. Uncomfortable but not so painful.”

“How long is it supposed to take to heal?”

Isabel casts a suspicious eye her way as if she can anticipate the date of Helena’s return flight adjusting already, but answers, “they say 6 to 8 weeks. It’s for the bone to heal, mostly, in his back. The rest should be sooner.”

Helena broke her wrist years ago, when the kids were nearly teenagers, and it was three months of hell trying to manage a household one handed while Ramon spent most of that time travelling across Texas.

Who’s helping him? Is Carla back in the picture? Is she working overtime? How can he afford that on sick leave? Is Pepa or one of the cousins going over? Is his girlfriend there? Who’s helping with Christopher? How is he managing?

The questions — all genuine and well-meaning, all a shade too accusatory — are on her tongue, pressed to the back of her teeth to keep from escaping. She’s entitled to answers, even if she doesn’t like them. She knows she has the right to at least know how her son is caring for himself and her grandson while he’s injured. If he’d told them when it happened Helena could have been here in a heartbeat to help, but no, Eddie’s just as stubborn as they are, just as prideful. He’d rather suffer alone than accept their help. Fine. But she’s still his mother, and Christopher’s grandmother. She raised them both. She has a right to—

Mom, listen…

Helena takes a deep breath in, anchors herself in the mixed scents of the rich sauce and the sweet bread cooking, and breathes out. Isabel sends her another look but says nothing.

————-

Helena cries when she sees Eddie, and cries a bit harder when she sees the apprehension in his eyes. Her baby boy looks a bit pale, but he’s standing on his own two feet and answering the door himself.

“Oh, sweetheart,” she murmurs, wrapping him gently into her arms, mindful not to press into the sling or his back.

“Hi, mom,” he says quietly, like he’s trying to gentle the stiffness in his voice.

She releases him, but not before pressing three kisses into his temple, always three. One for each of her kids.

Ramon steps into the space she leaves when she continues into the house and from the corner of her eye, she sees him cup the back of Eddie’s head and take a good look at him. For Ramon, it’s the equivalent of collapsing to the floor in tears.

Helena quickly toes off her boots and makes room at the entrance for the others behind her, which also puts her first in line to catch a sight that nearly knocks her down.

“Who is this young man I see?” she cries, throwing her hands wide to gesture at her grandson. “Last I saw you, you were just a little tyke. Now look at you, you must have grown three feet!”

Christopher giggles and Helena smiles in return as she folds him into her arms, but it’s forced. She’s not lying — he’s grown so much more than she expected. She hasn’t seen him in person since Eddie’s graduation and while video chats are priceless, they didn’t capture this growth spurt.

She can’t believe she let this happen. That she went from spending most of everyday with this little boy and now she’s missed out on two years of his life. Can’t believe Eddie kept him fro—

Mom, listen...

Supper goes well enough. Eddie never truly shakes loose the tension in his shoulders; he trades many looks with Isabel, seemingly spooked by his parents’ behaviour. He talks a lot more than he usually does, probably out of nervousness. But overall, they let Christopher take the reigns; they’re all more comfortable with that. It’s been too long since they’ve last spoken and Christopher is full of stories about his school and his friends.

“Buck says we can go to the Griffin soon. It was closed because of COVID. But before, I went with my class and they made a comet right in front of us!”

Buck. It’s the third time his name has been dropped at the table since they sat down.

She first met him, briefly, at Eddie’s graduation, but didn’t really register him as someone in her son’s life until Eddie and his crew stopped off in El Paso for dinner on their way home from fighting Texas wildfires. Buck had been cropping up in Christopher’s and Eddie’s stories for months by then and she was curious to properly meet him in person. He had seemed...young, she remembers.

“The Griffith Observatory,” Eddie corrects fondly. With Christopher, at least, it’s impossible for him not to soften.

Eddie’s only eaten half the pasta on his plate but Isabel seems satisfied. Helena bites down on the impulse to encourage him to eat more. To remind him he needs his strength to heal quickly for his little boy. She does lift the basket of garlic bread in his direction, because she can’t help herself. He eyes the basket warily as though he expects her to do more, but when she doesn’t, he shakes his head with a small smile of thanks.

“Yeah,” Christopher agrees, “it was cool but we didn’t get to stay long enough to see everything. And if we go later, Buck says we can see real meteors in the sky.”

Fourth mention.

“Christopher is on an astronomy kick,” Eddie adds redundantly.

“Wait, I gotta show you —” Christopher is sliding out of his seat before anyone can stop him and racing down the hall to his bedroom.

“Oh, honey —” Helena grips the arms of her chair out of reflex to jump up and help him — he doesn’t have his crutches, he’s only using the wall for support and he’s wearing socks — but Eddie looks over when her chair creaks.

He can’t really expect her to just sit here while Christopher—

Mom, listen…

They can hear Christopher make it to his bedroom without injury, so Helena slowly settles back in her chair and Ramon clears his throat. “He seems...okay. More okay than I would have expected.”

Eddie keeps his eyes on his father for a beat too long, assessing the comment for any hidden messages.

“He’s a resilient kid. Buck stayed here with him while I was in the hospital, so his routine wouldn’t get messed up. I think that helped a lot.”

Fifth ment— wait.

“Buck stayed with him?” The words — the tone — are out of her mouth before Helena can stop them.

On the shortlist of people she expected to hear stayed with her grandson to watch him and care for him, alone, while his father was in the hospital — Isabel, Pepa, Carla, or even Ana — Buck’s isn’t a name she expected to hear. A coworker — an unrelated man with no children of his own, over Christopher’s family? Over Christopher’s own aide? Over a schoolteacher?

Eddie’s jaw squares up and he sits up in his chair. Like light gray rain clouds suddenly turning dark, weighty with an incoming storm, a heavy tension builds in the air between them.

“Look!” Christopher exclaims as he rounds the corner, nearly throwing a thin, blue hardcover book on the table. Eddie catches it before it can slam into Christopher’s leftover pasta and sets it down on the table for him. “It shows all the things we can see in the sky over the whole year!”

Christopher climbs back into his chair and opens the book up to a random page, describing everything he seems to have nearly memorized already. By the time he reaches the upcoming meteor shower, the tension at the table has dissipated enough for Helena to excuse herself to the bathroom and not have it come off like a passive aggressive storm-off.

She washes her hands with soap pumped out of a fish-shaped dispenser that wasn’t here the last time she visited and trains her eyes on the basket of gauze, scissors and tape tucked away on the shelf above the toilet. That wasn’t there last time either.

Her baby boy was shot by a sniper. In LA.

A bullet tore through the body she created and almost took her son from her forever.

Mom, listen...

But only after she’d almost pushed him so far away he might never come back.

The tears well up again and she sniffs through them, blinking up at the ceiling until she’s back under control.

As she pivots to turn the light off, she spies a purple toothbrush resting on the ledge just above the sink. The other two toothbrushes are electric — one adult-, one child-sized — and stand on the counter.

—————-

Helena and Ramon meet the infamous Ana by accident.

When they leave Eddie’s house on Friday, Helena sends a text message to say what she couldn’t manage to say to his face — that they’re here for him, in whatever capacity he needs, that they’ll take their cues from him, even if that means giving him some space.

To that, she receives a, Thank you.

When she asks for the contact information of the therapist he had scoped out for them, she gets a phone call.

“Not to look a gift horse in the mouth,” her son says, “but are you just doing this because I got shot?”

“Honestly? Yeah,” she laughs mirthlessly. “I’m sorry to say it took our baby boy nearly dying to get our heads out of our ass.”

Eddie huffs a laugh on his end. “Well, I’ll take that silver lining.”

After that, Eddie invites them to a restaurant for brunch on Sunday, but when they reach his doorstep, they find it already occupied by a woman who’s just rung the doorbell, holding a casserole dish in her hands.

When the door opens, Eddie takes in the three of them, his eyes wide and apprehensive.

“Ana, I wasn’t expecting you,” he says, his eyes darting over her shoulder to his parents. He’s smiling, though there’s a clear strain in the corners of his eyes and mouth. They’ve been critical about Shannon for so long — and with good reason, nothing will change Helena’s mind on that — no doubt he’s expecting them to hate this new woman on sight.

“You’re Ana!” Helena exclaims with a wide smile, imbuing her voice with as much welcome as she’s capable. “Hi! It’s so good to finally meet you!”

When Eddie releases the breath he was holding, she knows she was on the mark. Ramon follows her lead and invites Ana to brunch with them on the spot and won’t hear her protests about intruding.

Eddie, of course, doesn’t protest at all but invites them in so Ana can store the casserole in the fridge — it takes both Ana and Helena’s organizational skills to find a spot for it among Isabel’s and Eddie’s tupperwares already invading all available space — and he can finish getting ready. He was already dressed in a nice polo and jeans but when he comes back from his bedroom it’s in a smart button-down he must have struggled with out of sheer stubbornness. Both his parents and his girlfriend are in the house and still he didn’t ask for help.

Eddie and Christopher decide to hop into Ana’s car and Helena asks loudly for directions to keep Ramon from insisting they should all ride together.

“So how long have you kids been seeing each other now?” Ramon asks when they’ve been seated at the restaurant.

“Nearly 7 months now, I think, isn’t it?” Ana replies, looking at Eddie with a dazzling smile — she truly is gorgeous. Eddie was still talking to them when he started dating her so they know she’s a schoolteacher turned vice principal but to meet her in person blows all their other expectations out of the water. She’s lively and sweet, patient and understanding, Latina — a big plus in Ramon’s books ironically. Eddie picked well this time.

Eddie hesitates a moment and nods. “Yeah, that sounds right.”

Every now and again, he squirms in his chair, like he can’t quite settle in and Helena wonders when his last painkiller was taken. But when he catches her face, she smoothes her worry out into a cheeky smile that says I like this one. He smiles back and there’s nothing she can pinpoint exactly but something about it makes her uneasy.

Eddie’s too quiet as they wait for their food, his face pinched, and just when Helena’s about to break, Ana does her the favour of asking gently, “Are you feeling okay? Do you need to take anything for your arm?”

But Eddie shrugs off her concern. “No, thank you. Next one isn’t until noon.” He taps his phone twice and she smiles.

“Sorry, I forgot. He’s got them all on timers with a special ringtone. He’s so organized,” she tells Helena and Ramon with a sunny smile, rubbing her hand down his good arm. “I have one multivitamin and I forget to take it half the time.”

“Buck set it up,” Eddie defers, and Helena schools her face not to react; even at brunch Buck is with them in spirit.

Ramon either takes no issue with the mention or doesn’t register it. He takes the opportunity to share how his new pharmacy pre-packages his heart and arthritis medications into AM and PM slots and Ana listens attentively. Eddie’s fingertip taps absently against the phone case until their food arrives.

Christopher ordered a waffle, and with Eddie indisposed, Helena is already moving to help him when Ana beats her to the punch again. Helena tucks a smile away as Ana leans over and starts cutting the waffle up into smaller pieces.

“He can do that,” Eddie says when he notices Christopher sitting back in his chair, realizing only when Ana startles that his tone is sharp. His voice is softer when he follows up with, “Right, buddy?”

“Yeah,” Chris agrees, picking up his own cutlery with enthusiasm despite his hands being nearly too small for them.

Eddie throws an apologetic grin Ana’s way and brunch continues peacefully, though the stiff line of Eddie’s shoulder never does quite soften.

Mom, listen…

————-

Their first therapy session takes place in Isabel’s kitchen at Eddie’s request. Isabel thinks it’s so he has the option of leaving when he needs to (in other words, when he gets fed up and runs) but Helena hasn’t missed how Eddie has been careful to keep them away from his home since the first day they saw him.

They’ve seen Eddie and Chris numerous times in the week and change they’ve been in LA — more than they’ve seen them since they left El Paso — but always outside of the house. Sometimes they pick Chris up from school, sometimes Eddie and Chris come to Isabel’s for supper, sometimes they go out to restaurants or other outings, but they haven’t been invited back to his home again. She wanted to believe it was because he was hiding the news that Ana had moved in but that’s been shot out of the water both by her ringing the doorbell and an errant comment at the end of brunch about how she hadn’t seen him since the welcome home party.

So it’s out of pettiness, then. Stubbornness. Out of pig-headed inability to accept that he needs help and willingness to believe that they’re making an effort to meet him on his own terms.

She tries not to let it rankle her, tries to find some of that resolute commitment to letting things be and not push. But the next thing she knows, she’s yelling about it to a stranger at Isabel’s island counter.

To be fair, the session with Dr. Jamieson wasn’t going great to begin with. It’s awkward as hell, the three of them balancing on stools, squished in next to each other to try to fit into the screen, but also trying to keep the laptop close enough to still hear her and not have to shout. It’s happening while Chris is at school so they don’t have to worry about keeping him distracted but they can’t exactly ask Isabel to go wait in the LA sun for an hour so she doesn’t overhear, so it’s basically a given that she’s the fourth person on this virtual couch from the next room over.

And beyond that, Helena has kept her mouth shut for over a week which is frankly more time than anyone would have bet on, including herself, and given the opportunity to express herself freely...well…

“You want space? We’ve given you nothing but space since we got here. How much more can we give you, Eddie? You’re hundreds of miles away from us already. Forgive us for feeling the need to check in on our only son who almost died last week,” she yells, her hand nearly colliding with her coffee mug as she gestures.

“Last week?” Ramon echoes with a bark of dark laughter.

“Oh, no, that’s right,” Helena picks up. “I’m sorry! Not a week ago! Nearly a month ago! Because apparently we don’t warrant even a text when our only son almost dies, but that’s not enough space?”

Eddie rakes his fingers aggressively through his hair, his lips pursed.

“We have to move to Mexico,” Ramon continues blithely. “Is that enough space? No, better yet! Sweden! Your family still lives out there, no? We can live on their farm. Completely different timezone, we won’t even be reachable.”

“Yeah,” Eddie bites back, a sour grin blooming on his face, “that’s what I want. I ask you to give me some breathing room — to respect me, my life — and you translate that into living in a fucking commune in Sweden. And you wonder why we’re in therapy. I can’t talk to you, you don’t listen!”

Mom, lis—

“Listen to what, Eddie?” Helena yells, getting out of her seat to pace. “Listen to the months of silence you’ve sent our way? Because we either get on board and blindly cheer on every mess you get yourself into or we don’t get to know you anymore? Don’t get to know our grandson?”

“I never kept him from you — you have our number, the phone didn’t ring. That’s not on me.”

“Because you would have picked up?” Ramon exclaims, pushing away from the island to better look back at their son. “Easy to claim when it’s after the fact in front of the doctor.”

“So now I’m a liar! You raised a liar?”

“I think we’ve gotten off-track,” Dr. Jamieson’s tinny voice interjects from the laptop.

In the bottom right hand corner of the screen, only Eddie remains in the frame.

————

Firehouse 118 was a lively crowd at Eddie’s graduation but it’s nothing compared to the party thrown at the Grant-Nash house in honour of a new probationary firefighter.

Dr. Jamieson pointed out the self-fulfilling prophecy that Eddie protecting himself from criticism and pressure by withholding details about his life in LA was leading to his parents’ growing insecurity over not knowing anything about their son and feeling the need to intervene more and more.

The solution? Let them in on his life and trust that they could hold themselves in check.

For that, even Ramon was in agreement that maybe therapy wasn’t a load of shit after all.

So here they find themselves welcomed into this beautiful and loud home nearly three weeks into their stay in LA. They were allowed to pick Eddie and Chris up so they arrive together but Christopher peels off immediately to find kids his own age.

It’s impossible not to feel the warmth of family radiating from every inch of the home so when Eddie’s shoulders seem to loosen a little as they walk in, Helena can’t find it in herself to begrudge him.

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” a woman around Helena’s age drawls, crowding into Eddie’s space for a delicate hug he doesn’t hesitate to return. “Though I could have done without seeing another one of these for a few hundred more years,” she says, gesturing to the sling. “How much longer?”

“Another month if everything checks out,” Eddie says, releasing a sigh.

“It better,” she warns with a twinkle in her eye that says if she learns he’s been aggravating his injury there will be hell to pay.

The woman, they find out, is Athena Grant-Nash, wife of the 118’s captain and consummate host. While Eddie splits off “for a minute”, she leads them to the main area for drinks and introductions before leaving them to mingle. Captain Nash — Bobby — meets them with appetizers and introduces them to the Lees, the de-facto parental figures of the young man who just joined the team.

From the spot she claims at the edge of the dining room, Helena keeps an eye trained on Eddie outside. She feels an itch under her skin knowing it’s been nearly twenty minutes and Eddie hasn’t checked on Christopher, but she knows she shouldn’t go herself. Eddie can do everything on his own, right? He can look after his own kid at a party.

She can, however, go to the washroom and take a peek at what Christopher’s up to while she’s wandering, and that’s exactly what she intends to do.

But for now, she watches as Eddie criss-crosses through the crowds of the patio, prompting a localized burst of cheers at each stop as he reunites himself with teammates he hasn’t seen since the shooting. She recognizes the woman who was on the trip to Texas but the rest conjure only the vaguest memories of Eddie’s graduation and the occasional picture on Instagram — before he stopped posting that is. Just one more way they’ve been iced out.

But he seems happy, almost carefree in a way she realizes she hasn’t seen with her own eyes in...longer than this trip, actually.

Probably years, if she’s honest.

And it occurs to her, slowly, creepingly, that her son is outside, smiling freely and easily, surrounded by people he’s made his new family, while Helena stands inside watching his life through a glass window in a stranger’s house.

Mom, listen…

She swallows past the lump in her throat and sighs. Ramon’s arm comes around her waist and without looking at him, she knows he’s had a similar revelation.

Their next therapy session is in a few days, and they’re not going to fuck it up again.

There’s a late arrival to the party, one of the only people in Eddie’s life she can recognize — Buck. He’s as tall as she remembered but he looks a shade less young now maybe. He greets everyone with a hug or kiss on the cheek as he moves through the party, and bestows a cheer and an enthusiastic hug on Albert, the guest of honour.

When he moves on to the patio and approaches Eddie’s circle, however, the cheerful, long-awaited reunion of best friends she expects doesn’t happen. They catch each other’s eyes for a few beats and share a welcoming smile, then the conversation resumes as if nothing of consequence has happened. Buck doesn’t even linger long, heading back into the house after a few minutes.

When the cake starts being doled out, Eddie returns to meet them at the table and accepts the plate Helena offers him. Helena is scouting the yard for a chair he can sit on to eat when Buck reappears.

“He couldn’t be pulled away?” Eddie asks in surprise.

“Nope,” Buck replies with a grin before turning to them. “Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Diaz. Good to see you again!” Before they can return more than a smile, Buck continues, “he’s cheating at Unicorn Temple with Harry. Not even cake can pull him away.”

Eddie rolls his eyes and smiles. “My son is not a cheater.” To them, he says, “Buck thinks that whenever he’s losing at a video game, it’s because his opponent is cheating.”

“Not always! Just when they are,” he replies with exaggerated emphasis before scooping a piece of cake onto a plate. “I’m gonna go hide this in the fridge for him for later before it’s all gone.”

Eddie ducks his head and smiles down at his plate, and the questions are building up behind Helena’s teeth again.

Christopher’s been playing video games all this time? Is it an age-appropriate game? Why is Buck checking on your son? Why is Buck saving him cake when nobody asked him to? Why—

But Eddie looks up with an uncertain expression and says, “there’s a table out there if you guys want to join me.”

So Helena stows her questions and says, “that’d be great.”

They eat the overly-sweet cake in peaceful silence until Ramon casts an eye around and says, “you must be glad about the new firefighter. You won’t be the baby on the team anymore.”

Eddie snorts. “I’m 33 and my kid is nearly a teenager — and that’s totally not freaking me out at all,” he adds wryly. “Besides, I was never the baby of the team. Buck is younger than me and forever a kid at heart so I was never in any danger of it.”

“Oh god, don’t remind me that Christopher’s growing up,” Helena only half-jokes. “I can still barely believe he’s old enough to hold his own head up.”

Eddie huffs a laugh and Helena banks it as a win.

“Do any of your coworkers have teenagers?” Ramon asks. “Might have some words of wisdom to share.” Since you won’t ask us, is unspoken and politely ignored by all.

“Athena’s daughter May is just leaving the teen years now, but after her, Christopher’s the oldest. Harry, Athena’s son is 9 and Denny, Hen and Karen’s son just turned 8. It’s great for play dates but not for getting advice on what’s coming up unfortunately.”

“Karen,” Ramon echoes.

Eddie’s fork pauses on its way to scoop some excess icing off his cake and his back straightens.

“Hen’s wife,” he says curtly, daring.

Helena wants to roll her eyes at the posturing. It’s 2021, who cares who anybody loves. She knows Ramon doesn’t, not really, not anymore. It’s a 50-year-long reflex to make a comment, one they’ve been working, if only to have some semblance of a civil conversation with Sophia while she works through a degree in women and gender studies.

But she knows that excuse isn’t going to fly with Eddie.

It hasn’t flown since Eddie was 20 years old and realizing he’d lost a good friend to his father’s caustic words. And Helena can’t ever go back and examine the hurt in Eddie’s expression with fresh eyes. Shemanages to forget about it most of the time until something happens to dig it out of the cold, hard ground and shove it in her arms.

Mom, listen...

But she’s come to LA because she wants to be in her son’s life, in her grandson’s life and she can’t be a coward now.

“They’re a gorgeous couple,” she says, almost too loudly in her enthusiasm. “Are they thinking of having more kids?”

Eddie turns his assessing eyes to her and is mollified by her effort. “Yeah, they’re foster parents now. They’ve fostered three kids so far.”

“That’s great,” she says sincerely. Then, accidentally on purpose and only in part to bring Ramon back to a safe topic, she asks, “Does Ana want a large family?”

Eddie sees through her attempt, but nods. “Yeah, she loves kids.”

Helena doesn’t miss Ramon’s approving nod, or the dark look that passes over Eddie’s eyes when he catches it.

“Was Ana not able to come tonight?” Ramon asks.

“I didn’t ask her,” he answers, his voice a shade too casual. “This is more of a team thing.” As if they hadn’t just been discussing the other families all around them.

“That Ana—” Ramon begins but is interrupted by the arrival of Christopher with a hint of blue icing on his nose and Buck following behind him with two paper plates filled with cake.

Christopher sits backwards on the picnic table bench and uses his arms to lift his legs over while Eddie watches but doesn’t offer to help, and when Christopher is set, Buck places one of the plates in front of him with a plastic fork stuck in the top like a flag.

“Buck was finally able to pull you away, mijo?” Eddie asks as Christopher digs in.

“No, May took her room back so we can’t play on her tv anymore. Harry’s gonna ask his mom if we can play in her room.”

“Yeah...” Buck draws out, sharing a dubious expression with Eddie over Christopher’s head, “I wouldn’t hold out for that, bud.”

“Maybe you can teach the others how to play Scrabble!” Eddie suggests.

Christopher’s nose wrinkles, “Scrabble is boring.”

“Hey!” Buck protests and takes a forkful of Christopher’s cake in retaliation, which prompts Christopher to yell and attack Buck’s cake back, taking much more than a forkful.

The commotion draws attention to their table and Helena’s gearing up to tell Christopher to settle down when she catches Eddie’s eyes on her, waiting.

Helena looks back out to the backyard to say, People are staring.

Eddie looks back impassively as if to say, Let them.

Mom, listen...

Helena swallows her impatience, her anxiety, her embarrassment.

“Hey,” Buck calls, his mouth half full of icing, “did you take your 6?”

Eddie hesitates and that’s enough for Buck to swallow and look put out, already turning and lifting a leg out of the confines of the picnic table.

“Did you turn off your alarm again?”

“I didn’t turn it off the first time, I don’t know what happened.”

“What happened is it woke you up at 6am and you turned it off because sleepy Eddie makes bad life choices.”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “You don’t have —”

“Right pocket?” Buck interjects, already walking away.

“Yeah,” Eddie sighs.

Christopher looks at him and shakes his head with exaggerated disappointment.

“Don’t you start,” Eddie warns, scooping a fingertip of icing and dabbing it on his son’s nose too quickly for him to duck.

Christopher shrieks and reaches for his cake fingers-first.

“Oh no, no,” Eddie laughs, catching Christopher’s fingers with one hand. “Truce, truce.”

Christopher doesn’t look interested in a truce and Eddie’s other arm is in a sling, so Ramon quickly pulls the cake out of Christopher’s reach, and then Buck’s abandoned piece and Helena does the same with Eddie’s.

“Not fair!” Christopher cries, still reaching.

“Your dad’s hurt, mijo, you can’t attack him with icing while he’s healing,” Ramon says reasonably. “Wait till he’s all better.”

“He’s fine!” Christopher declares with the confidence of a trauma surgeon as he tries to climb up on the bench.

Eddie’s not in a position to pull him back down and Helena doesn’t know how far they can take their non-interference but she’s not about to let her grandson hop over a table to fall into three plates of cake. She’s half-decided she’s going to pick up the cake and walk it back inside when Buck returns, depositing a glass of water on the table and a small white pill into Eddie’s palm before swooping in and tickling Christopher’s sides.

He shrieks loudly, gaining looks from all around the backyard, but it gets his butt back down on the bench and Buck sits back down next to him, boxing him in between himself and Eddie.

“What happened to our cake? How’d it get all the way over there?” The plates are very easily within Buck’s reach; it’s a question for Christopher’s benefit.

“Dad got me like you did!” Christopher cries indignantly, pointing to his nose. “I’m getting him back!”

“Oh man,” Buck nods seriously before his finger darts forward, swipes the icing from his nose and brings it to his mouth. “Mmm, this is better than the one I got you with. You sure you don’t just wanna eat it?”

Christopher looks unconvinced.

“How about this?” Buck ducks down to whisper loudly. “You call a truce with your dad, and then I’ll steal all his icing and we’ll eat it.”

The icing on Eddie’s cake is mostly piled in a corner of his paper plate. He’s never been able to stomach the pure sugary sweetness of store bought icing.

“Okay,” Christopher nods back, reaching out again for his plate but without making grabby hands.

Ramon assesses him for a moment before taking the chance to push the plates back within reach.

“Hey, Eddie,” Buck calls deliberately. “You should take your medication now.”

“Thanks, Buck,” Eddie replies with a smile that conveys an eyeroll. “I’ll do that now.”

While Eddie pops the pill and takes a very long drink of water, Buck “sneakily” pulls his plate towards them and scoops all the piled icing onto his own plate before pushing the cake back to Eddie’s side of the table.

Christopher laughs and pushes Eddie’s plate an extra few inches away out of spite.

Eddie plays the disappointed victim passably well with a half-hearted gasp and a shake of his head. “You little thieves.”

As promised, Buck doles out some of Eddie’s icing to Christopher who immediately protests at the amount left on Buck’s plate.

“Hey, when you’re a big guy like me, you get more icing. Keep eating your proteins and you’ll get there in no time.”

Christopher accepts that easily enough. “I’m gonna be tall like dad.”

Buck scoffs, “Aim higher, kid. Literally.”

“I am barely two inches shorter than you,” Eddie laments, not for the first time, it sounds like.

“It’s practically three. Are you really going to lie in front of your parents?”

Wouldn’t be the first time, is on Helena’s tongue because it’s been hours since she could speak her mind, but she holds it in.

“How was the trip from Texas?” Buck asks them suddenly, bringing them back into the fold of a scene they'd never left but somehow stopped being a part of. “Flights have new restrictions on them now, don’t they?”

Mom, listen...

When the party is winding down and they walk outside to the driveway, Eddie surprises them by offering them both a hug.

“Thank you for coming,” he says sincerely, though Helena hears the underlying “and behaving” and can’t help but bristle.

“Thank you for inviting us, mijo,” Ramon says; his turn to save Helena from herself.

And when Eddie lets them know he and Chris will be getting their ride back from Buck, Ramon takes Helena’s hand and they smile almost sincerely as they say their goodnights.

—————-

The next week happens to be Isabel’s 80th birthday and Helena and Ramon keep themselves busy by helping to throw a party that will reunite every vaccinated member of the family in the area (they’re not about to take a chance on Isabel’s health).

Things have been getting better with Eddie. They had a second therapy session, again at Isabel’s island counter, where they lasted a good 25 minutes before devolving into yelling. The next day, Eddie asked Ramon for a ride to physical therapy, and easily accepted his father’s offer of lunch after the appointment.

Then, when Helena asked if she could pick up some groceries for him and Christopher, she was refused — in no small part, she thinks, because he still won’t let them in his house — but instead of going off on him, she channeled that anger and resentment into nearly buying out Costco for Isabel’s party. It felt like progress Dr. Jamieson would be proud of.

That’s why, despite the party officially kicking off around 11am, they’re just past supper time and all tables and counters are still nearly buckling under the weight of the food. They’ll have to send everyone home with leftovers if the flow of people stops. Isabel’s front door has been a turnstile since this morning and Helena knows from experience it’ll likely stay that way until the late hours of the night. Most recently, Helena’s daughters made their appearance, and it’s not at all the reason Helena is back in the kitchen.

Despite coming from opposite ends with different travel distances, Adriana and Sophia arrived within a half hour of each other, a move Helena saw through instantly. The idea that her children coordinated to arrive together instead of risking the possibility of facing their parents alone sets a fire raging in her heart, and she realizes suddenly that she isn’t prepared to be hypervigilant of her every word with all three of her kids here now to push her buttons.

So, she retreats to the kitchen.

She doesn’t expect one of them to follow her in.

“I heard you guys were doing therapy,” Adriana volleys as she approaches.

Helena cracks open the tray of chocolate chip cookies and starts plating them, her face angled down so any kneejerk expression of distaste isn’t as visible. “Apparently, that’s what the cool kids do nowadays.”

“It is,” Adriana agrees, the bangles on her wrists clinking on the countertop as she reaches for the box of oatmeal cookies to plate. She’s a year into her Master’s in communication. What she intends to do with that is a mystery to them. So much of their kids’ lives are a mystery now. Helena closes the lid of the cookie tray hard and relishes in the snap of the plastic groove into the tongue.

“Paying a stranger to tell us when and how to talk to each other is cool,” she bites. It’s not posed as a question, just a bitter acknowledgement.

Adriana is quiet and Helena starts plating mini quiches onto the cookie platter just to stay occupied while her daughter walks away. Sophia is a yeller, she stands her ground and gives as good as she gets. Adriana, however, is a runner, just like Eddie.

But Adriana doesn’t leave in a huff. She turns to the counter and grabs a second platter, moving the mini quiches onto that one.

“It’s cool that you’re open to trying,” she says. “I think that, in any family where there’s love, there’s going to be hurt. And the longer we stay stuck in that hurt, the harder it becomes to talk about it without causing more. We get stuck in patterns that we can’t break out of, and people on the outside can be the best ones to point out those patterns and help you break out of them to get to what you actually, truly want to say.”

Helena knows what she actually, truly wants to say. That’s not the problem. The problem is that none of her kids want to hear it.

“I see a therapist,” Adriana continues. Helena stills and looks at her daughter, calmly arranging the mini quiches into concentric circles. “Since my last year of undergrad. When things got really hard and I couldn’t understand why. They helped me. A lot. Helped me figure out what was wrong and how to get myself through it.”

“You didn’t tell us,” Helena says, her voice thick.

“I know,” her daughter replies simply. “I didn’t know how. I’m telling you now because what I actually, truly want to say is that I’m proud of you and dad for doing this. And maybe if you don’t hate it...maybe we could try a session later too.”

There’s an offer in her daughter’s words, an open hand reaching out. But in that hand, Helena sees her failures as a parent, the judgement of the world for failing her kids, and she doesn’t want to reach her own hand out.

Mom, listen…

Helena looks at her eldest daughter, almost a stranger to her, with an entire life Helena is only starting to realize she has no part in. It hurts — it always hurts when the kids pull away but to realize she didn’t even know the extent of it...she wants to hurt back.

Mom, listen…

But she’s trying so hard to break those patterns Adriana speaks of. So instead, Helena thinks of the therapist’s advice leading them into a piece of Eddie’s life they wouldn’t have otherwise gotten to see and swallows past the indignation in her throat to reach down and find the words she actually, truly wants to say.

“You say when, and I’ll be there.”

———-

The sun is setting when Helena finally agrees to get off her feet and just enjoy the party outside while the cousins take over the serving and cleaning. There are four generations of Diazes gathered around but for the first time ever, most of the cousins are young adults, not teenagers, and it’s nice to be able to pass on the hosting responsibilities to them for a bit.

The sky is clear, the sunset resplendent from Isabel’s backyard, and the conversation is flowing easily. It’s a beautiful evening, warm with a gentle breeze cool enough to let her lean back against Ramon in his lounge chair, one of his arms wrapped loosely around her hip.

For the first time since getting Isabel’s text, Helena feels something like peace wash over her and she almost feels bad for the thrum of vindication in her stomach when she spots Eddie slumped comfortably in an armchair, his legs propped up on another chair.

He’s at home here.

Yes, he was at ease at his captain’s house but this is family, this is where he can really sink into the love and comfort and rest. With his aunts and uncles, cousins and sisters around to take care of him. And Christopher, who spent the afternoon running around and chomping down on all the sugar he could get his hands on, slumped against him, nearly asleep. This is family.

She knows he could find that peace back in El Paso, they both could. Eddie had friends there, and his parents, who knew his son better than he did for most of his life. And there are fires in El Paso same as there are in LA, but less smog, less general insanity.

But Eddie’s a lot like his parents, too much like them maybe, and once he’s decided on a course of action he can’t be swayed. So Helena has made peace with it. Rather, she’s made peace with pretending to be okay with it while she waits for him to come to the realization that he should move back.

And in the meantime, if they can mend this thorniness between them, then maybe she and Ramon can make more of these impromptu trips. Maybe even convince Eddie to come home for Christmas this year. At the very least, go back to regular video chats.

But all that ruminating feels far away right now. She’s moving gently with the rise and fall of Ramon’s chest, and she’s so close to slipping away to the feeling of contentment when a new arrival makes her open eyes she didn’t realize she’d closed.

“Feliz cumpleanos,” she hears someone say in half-decent Spanish from the front door on the other side of the side yard fence.

She doesn’t recognize the voice as yet another cousin or uncle, but Eddie shakes Christopher’s shoulder gently, and says, “hey, guess who’s here.”

It takes a moment, but the words penetrate Christopher’s sleepiness. His eyes pop open and he shimmies out of Eddie’s lap and into his crutches to power walk over to the gate just in time for it to open, admitting Isabel, holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers, and a sheepish looking Buck behind her.

“Buck!” Christopher yells.

Buck’s smile widens and he immediately opens his arms. “Hey, superman!”

Buck crouches down and Christopher throws his arms around his neck, crutches and all. When it’s time to break apart, Christopher’s still hanging on and Helena feels a stab of dark vindication at what’s about to happen, and the look Ramon sends her way tells her she’s not alone. Because Christopher is now officially in the double digits, and while he’s always been an independent kid, becoming 10 years old was a big deal for him and his perceived level of maturity, and apparently the year he decided no one was allowed to carry him anymore.

And now Christopher’s tired and in the grip of a powerful sugar crash. He’s not going to suffer any indignities, and Helena knows she should feel bad about not trying to stop Buck. About just watching this play out to see him be rejected. But she wasn’t expecting to see him here, in this safe haven of Isabel’s backyard, in this space for family and loved ones, and it rankles her. It feels like everywhere she turns in LA, she finds him there. And his being here is just another nail in the coffin of Eddie stubbornly refusing to let his parents back into his home. That he would call his friend to this party just to avoid letting them give him a ride…

So she’s a little bitter, a little resentful of the persistent, low-key rejection. Sue her. Eddie has made it clear he doesn’t want them interfering anyway so this is on him.

“Christopher,” Eddie calls, a warning to not make a scene.

Buck looks over Christopher’s shoulder and smiles. “He’s fine,” he says.

Then he’s heaving Christopher’s body up into his arms and onto his hip and Christopher…

...Christopher slumps down over Buck’s shoulder like a baby koala. No sound of protest leaves his lips. His face, if it shows any displeasure, is hidden behind Buck’s neck.

And when Eddie gets up, it’s not to intercede, it’s only to grab the errant crutches before they hit something, and to pull his own armless chair out for Buck to sit on because apparently Buck is staying, and apparently Christopher is staying with him.

“He’s a bit old to be carried around, no?” Ramon says with a bite, because he can’t help himself.

Eddie, who’s been watching his son fondly, barely bats an eye. “He gets cuddly when he’s tired, and Buck’s nearly the only one left who’s big enough to carry him.”

“Ah, that’s why you spend so much time developing these,” Pepa says with a sly smile as she pinches at Buck’s bicep. The same familiar pinch she gave her own grandkids’ cheeks.

“Gracias a Dios,” Isabel adds meaningfully.

“That was adrenaline,” Eddie dismisses with a teasing grin.

“That was 100 squats and 50 pushups a day,” Buck returns blithely. “...and maybe a little adrenaline.”

“What’s this?” Ramon asks before she can.

Instead of prompting more teasing, the mood falls slightly and everyone looks to each other.

Finally, Eddie sighs. “When I got shot, Buck army crawled under a ladder truck to get me out and lifted me into the truck to get to the hospital.”

It strikes Helena suddenly, shamefully, that in the shock of finding out they’d missed the event itself, the hospital stay, and two entire weeks of healing, that they’d never circled back around for details on what actually went down the day it happened.

She never thought to wonder how he got off that street. How he got to the hospital. Who might have saved his life.

And she wishes she were a better person then. Wishes that learning Buck saved her son’s life overpowered her irritation at having him sitting here in Isabel’s backyard like he belonged here when Helena herself barely felt like she did herself. It does help, though.

“They released the street footage of the shooting,” Pepa continues quietly. “It’s on YouTube. Before I even knew it happened, Marguerita from church just sent me a link saying ‘they said it’s a Diaz, do you know him?’ and I saw.”

The idea of her son’s shooting being passed around like a cat video makes Helena sick, but Pepa lamenting how she hadn’t known when she learned about it in a matter of hours and sat on it for weeks…

“I wouldn’t recommend it,” Pepa says decisively. “But they have an angle where you can see our Buck here go and get Eddie, pick him up like he doesn’t weigh a thing and get him into the truck to get to the hospital. Probably why he’s alive today. So gracias a Dios for those squats.”

Eddie and Buck are both looking away, both looking safely at Christopher while the table digests the news.

“If you were looking for a story of something really dumb, I can point you in the direction of another video of Buck,” Eddie says, his tone jovial but his eyes strained.

“You need to let that go,” Buck says in a definite whine.

“Do I?” Eddie asks. “Abuela did you see the video of the firefighter who went up the crane all alone?”

“Dios mío, Buck,” Pepa laments.

“Did you send it to me?” Abuela asks her, pulling out her phone and her glasses to check.

“No, mamá, it was an idiot firefighter but I didn’t realize it was the one we knew.”

“In the middle of an all-out declaration of war on firefighters,” Eddie begins, quietly for Christopher’s sake, but impassioned, sitting up in his chair, “this idiota and his squat count climbed up a crane ladder, completely exposed and defenseless—”

Buck looks pained. “I was wearing a bulletproof vest and a helmet. And that’s the job sometimes—”

“The paramedics’ job, actually, which you aren’t. So, no, that wasn’t the job.” Eddie’s tone edges into something darker without his meaning to. He takes a drink of his lemonade looking for all the world like he wished it was a beer. “And you know that or I wouldn’t have found out about it from Chim a month after the fact.”

Helena clenches her jaw tight and squeezes Ramon’s hand even tighter so neither of them can say, So you have a problem being left in the dark too?

“Buck,” Isabel sighs with disappointment.

Buck winces. “It was before— ” He cuts himself off, his wide eyes darting towards Helena and Ramon of all people.

“Hmm,” Isabel answers noncommittally, as if to end the conversation.

Just then, Sophia brings out a platter of bite-sized desserts, making the rounds of the whole circle for people to pick at before leaving it on the table. The opportunity to move on is there. That doesn’t mean they’re interested in taking it.

“Before what?” Ramon asks, his tone is forcibly casual.

The silence that greets Ramon’s question is heavy. Guilty. When Helena casts her eyes around, she’s greeted by stiff shoulders and a mix of apprehension shared between her son, her mother- and sister-in-law, and Buck.

Mom, listen...

“Before what?” Helena repeats, her voice uncompromising.

———-

The fight they have in Isabel’s guest bedroom is a Hall of Famer. It’s a screaming match, no doubt about it. The doors from the bedroom to the yard are all closed but there’s no question every member of the family — and Buck — can hear every word.

“Do you really hate us that much?” Helena demands. She’s crying but she doesn’t know if it’s heartbreak or fury, she just wishes it’d stop so she could lean into her anger. “Genuinely, honestly, Eddie.”

“I don’t hate you,” he protests, keeping his own voice down, making it seem like they’re irrational for their anger.

“Bullshit,” she spits.

“You must!” Ramon adds. “You hate us so much that you have to hate your sisters too? Your cousins? You would rather leave your only son to a stranger, some gringo coworker, than with family? That’s how much you hate us? Hate our name?”

“Our name?” Eddie shoots back incredulously. “What are you talking about, our name? We’re not royalty, papi, and Chris’ name would never change.”

“You would leave him to your coworker,” Helena stresses, disgust dripping from her tongue.

“To my best friend,” Eddie retorts, “who Christopher adores, if you haven’t noticed. And who adores Christopher right back.”

“That’s not normal, mijo,” Ramon warns.

“Jesus christ,” Eddie seethes. “Please do not star—”

“What kind of single adult man bonds with another man’s child like that?”

“You’re describing a tío, you understand that right? What, you think it’s weird that Pepa loves me like her own? You think Sophia should stay away from Chris too?”

“That’s family,” Helena argues.

“And they’re women!”

“Ramon, shut up,” Helena snaps.

“Buck is our family, and he’s a man, and he’s got the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. If anything happened to me, Christopher would be taken care of like if I was still here.”

“Buck, the one who nearly got him killed in the tsunami? That’s the same guy right?” Ramon throws out, his eyes a little wild as he paces.

“The one who saved his life in that tsunami, despite being injured and then some. And the one who’s saved my life more times than I can count, including from being gunned down on the street. We’d both probably be dead if not f— ”

“Isn’t he the one who’s family is worse off than ours?” Helena recalls. “So he has no family, no support, no girlfriend even! So a worse position than you’re in now. That’s what you want to leave him with.”

“He doesn’t need a girlfriend to raise Christopher right, I don’t! And he has a great sister, he has the 118, he has Carla, and he has our family. You think Abuela and Pepa would shut the door on him? He’d be here every Sunday, with Christopher, just like I am.”

“And what does your girlfriend think of this?” Ramon presses. “The vice principal, she thinks this is normal?”

“Ana doesn’t have anything to do with this,” Eddie says, frowning.

Helena balks. “You think the woman you’ve been seeing seriously for nearly a year has nothing to do with long-term decisions about your son? You think maybe she wouldn’t want the option of taking Christopher in if something happened to you?”

“That’s not happening, he’s going to Buck and that’s final.”

“What’s going on with you and this gringo?” Ramon asks suspiciously. “Are you even going out with Ana or was that another lie?”

“Ramon, don’t go there,” Helena sighs, her heart clenching. That’s all they need in this clusterfuck, that layer of pain.

“No, let’s go there because you know what?” Eddie asks darkly. “There is no one on this planet I trust with my son more than Buck and yeah, if we need to lay it all out there, that includes the two of you. I know you love Christopher, just like I know Shannon loved him, but that’s not always going to be enough. Buck isn’t going to fill my son’s head with ideas about the wrong kind of way to love someone. He’s not going to tell him he’s not good enough for his family to love him or support him. Buck’s going to make sure Christopher grows up to follow his heart and find whatever makes him happiest in the world, no matter what that looks like.”

“How could you think—”

“What if he grows up to be gay?” Eddie asks pointedly, staring his father down. “You’re telling me you’re going to be the one to help him pick out a suit to go to prom with his boyfriend?”

Ramon purses his lips but tries, “it’s a different world now,” as if he hadn’t just tried to make crass insinuations just to hurt his son.

“Okay,” Eddie says, not believing him for a moment, “what if he’s trans? Tells you at 15 that he’s a girl and he wants to transition. You’re going to get him on hormone therapy?”

“Eddie that’s not—”

“What if he’s 20 and he tells you he got a girl pregnant by accident and he doesn’t know her enough to love her, and he’s not ready to be a father let alone a husband?”

Helena tries to speak but her throat is suddenly too tight for words to get out.

“You gonna tell him he’s not a man if he doesn’t marry her anyway?”

Ramon says nothing.

“Christopher is going to Buck, and that’s final.”

——————-

Helena and Ramon don’t show up for the third therapy session.

Their plane tickets were only for three weeks, originally, and as the days run out, they don’t talk about extensions.

———-

Helena is sitting out in Isabel’s backyard, trying to conjure up that feeling of serenity she got to bask in for all of two minutes the night of the birthday party.

It’s not working.

They’re going back to El Paso tomorrow, leaving their relationship with Eddie in worse straits than when they arrived.

There’s always been a tension between them and Eddie, but there’s also always been love and respect, and that love and respect formed a polite barrier around the things they couldn’t talk about. It kept their relationship safe. Kept them from getting too close to real honesty where things hurt in ways that couldn’t be walked back.

It feels now like that barrier has fallen. That Eddie’s finally reached the limit of what he could hold back and now there’s nothing to help them pretend everything is okay. Nothing to help Helena believe this is all something that could blow over.

That’s to say nothing of Christopher, who’s never felt as far away as he does now, even while they linger in the same city, only a couple dozen blocks away.

Helena scrolls listlessly through her phone’s camera roll for the last few weeks. There are pictures of Christopher mostly, but Eddie and the rest of the family are there too. It hurts to notice how Eddie is markedly happier in the shots where he’s looking away from the camera. Away from her.

Mom, listen…

Helena opens up Instagram and lets herself forget for a moment that anything is wrong. On Instagram, there is only joy and fun. And Buck.

Eddie hasn’t posted anything to his account in months but starting from the end and working backwards, Buck features heavily. He’s in at least a third of the pictures, usually with Christopher. One of the posts includes a short video that she watches. It’s of the day they unveiled the adapted skateboard, and it nourishes her soul. There’s no sadness here, or tension, only pure radiating happiness and excitement. It’s magical.

And it’s meaningful.

Mom, listen…

Helena is out of her chair and pocketing Isabel’s car keys before she can talk herself out of it. The drive to Eddie’s house is made with a carefully blank mind. She knows if she lets herself think about what she’s going to say, she’s going to spiral and get to a place where all this fear and sadness turn dark and ugly, and she can’t afford to risk it.

Finally, she’s knocking gently on a front door she’s only seen three times in the weeks she’s been here.

Buck answers the door.

————-

The house is quiet when Helena steps in.

She doesn’t bother taking her shoes off this time, she’s not sure how long she’ll be allowed to stay. But she notices that the space where her shoes would have gone is taken up by a pair of large boots she imagines fit perfectly on Buck’s feet.

Buck disappears into the living room and she follows quietly after him. The lights are off but the muted tv glows brightly enough for her to see Eddie reclined on his back on the couch, sleeping, and Buck sitting down on the edge of the coffee table to shake his arm.

Eddie’s always been a light sleeper, especially after the army and Christopher. He doesn’t wake easily now.

He’s wearing the sling, but it’s the only indication that anything is amiss with him. There’s no sign of pain or worry on his face, no tension in his shoulders. He’s practically melted into the recesses of the couch. He’s a picture of comfort. And why shouldn’t he be? He’s in his home, away from family, from expectations, and judgements. Just him and Christopher. And Buck.

Eddie finally takes a deep breath that shows his body is coming around but his eyes stay closed. Buck is murmuring something but she only catches, “ — mom — here.”

Then, at last, Eddie’s eyelids part, and the deep laxness of his body disappears almost in the blink of an eye.

“What?” he croaks, already trying to sit up.

Buck’s hands are already moving to support his back.

“ — says she wants to apologize.”

Eddie scoffs and sits upright, feet firmly planted on the floor as he blinks himself awake.

“Mom?”

“I’m here,” she says, stepping closer into the light of the tv.

Buck catches Eddie’s eye and they have an entire conversation in five silent seconds that ends with Buck nodding and getting up from the table, watching Helena warily as she approaches further.

“Watch your eyes,” Buck says quietly to Eddie before flipping the wall switch and illuminating the room. He lingers for a moment, clearly undecided about leaving, before saying, “I’ll be in the kitchen.”

Finally, Helena is alone with her son in his home. The quiet is almost peaceful, she doesn’t want to break it. Eddie does instead.

“Buck said you wanted to apologize, so I’m assuming he misheard,” Eddie says wryly.

There are pillow creases on the side of his face and Helena can’t remember the last time she saw him look so disheveled, so at home. It makes her heart ache for the days when she’d have to force him out of bed at noon on weekends, drive him to wrestling practice early in the morning, watch over him as he slept sometimes, just to make sure he was okay.

“Shockingly, no,” she smiles sadly.

Eddie blinks up at her for a moment before shifting down on the couch, leaving her some room to sit. She takes the invitation, but once she’s sitting down with Eddie’s full attention on her, she realizes not preparing what she wanted to say might have been a mistake. She has no idea where to begin. What scab to pick at that won’t cause more bleeding.

Then she remembers Adriana’s words.

What is it, under all the posturing, all the hurt feelings, all the history and baggage...what is it she actually, truly wants to say?

“I’m sorry I missed therapy.”

Eddie huffs a surprised laugh. “Of all the things…”

“I know, I know,” she rolls her eyes. “But I am. I…” She forces herself to slow down and consider her words. “I realize that therapy was an olive branch for you. One we took way too late and I’m...I’m just so fucking grateful we were able to take it at all, in the end.”

The tears are coming and there’s nothing she can do to stop them. They gather in the corner of her eyes and she tries to blink them away but has to settle for wiping away the ones that fall anyway.

“You were right,” she says. “You said — and your sister said, and the therapist said — that there’s a lot of hurt, and it’s become too hard to...to connect with each other because of it. And therapy is probably the only bridge through that. So even though I was pissed at you, I should have showed up.”

She hazards a look up at Eddie to find his brown eyes wide and cautiously wondering.

“Therapy is what’s going to help us and the only way to fail at it is to not show up.” It’s what the therapist had said in their first session. It had sounded like an easy thing to do then. “And that’s not okay. I’m not going to do that again.”

Eddie nods and looks away. His fingernails are flicking nervously against each other — a habit he picked up from her. “Is dad on the same page as you?”

Helena takes a deep breath, and blows out, “No, your dad is looking for a match to light the page on fire.”

Eddie rolls his eyes but there’s heavy hurt behind the indifference.

“I hid all of them,” Helena offers, “and left Abuela with the fire extinguisher.”

That gets a small smile.

“I really expected you to be more pissed about it than him,” Eddie says, he reclines against the arm of the sofa but no part of him looks comfortable with this conversation.

“Oh, I am—” The rage swells up in her. The outrage and indignation. But again, Adriana’s voice comes to her. “I...am...really, truly hurt, Eddie. I feel...I feel like you told me I’m not good enough to love Christopher how he needs.”

Eddie’s face collapses with disbelief. “You mean the way you’ve been making me feel since he was born? Are you kidding me?”

“What?”

“Since the moment Shannon got pregnant, you’ve both been hammering it in on us that we’d never be enough, we’d never be good enough for him. Why do you think I joined the army? Why do you think Shannon ran?”

The accusation makes her breathless, it makes that familiar rage bubble up closer to the surface. “Shannon made her own choices, you’re not going to pin that on us. And so did you.”

“No, I can’t pin that on you. She did choose to leave,” he concedes, his voice hardening. “But you spent five years telling her over and over that nothing she ever did was good enough, and when I got back you did the same to me! ‘Don’t drag him down with you.’ Does that ring any bells?”

“I spent five years helping her, being a second parent to Christopher when she was in over her head. She needed help. She wasn’t cut out—”

“No, she wasn’t,” Eddie agrees. “Neither of us were. We were stupid fucking kids who barely knew each other. She was supposed to get back on a plane to California when the semester was done and instead we got married in the backyard because you told us that’s what we had to do.”

“Jesus Christ, Eddie. You want to blame me for Christopher being born? For raising him in a family with two parents?”

“You’re not listening,” Eddie spits.

“I’m listening to you say over and over how I ruined your life because I didn’t let Shannon get an abortion. And that’s somehow the reason to keep us out of Christopher’s life now?”

“No, you’re not—” Eddie closes his eyes and clenches his jaw. “I love Christopher with everything I am. If I had the chance to go back and do everything differently, I wouldn’t. I would never. Being his father is the most important thing I’ve ever done.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“I’m saying, I was a kid in over my head and my parents didn’t know what was best for me. Didn’t know how to help me. And I figured that out on my own, I grew up and became the man I am now on my own.” She wants to argue but he’s on a roll. “And that’s fine, no parent is perfect. I know I’m going to make mistakes and I hope to god Christopher can forgive me, so I need to forgive you yours. But I need you to see me, now. I need you to look at me and realize I’m not that kid you put in a suit in the backyard. I’m not the kid that signed up to get shot at instead of facing his life. I’m not that kid anymore, mom. I’m not.”

“I see that, Eddie.”

“No, you don’t. Because if you did, you wouldn’t constantly be telling me I need to move back to El Paso to take proper care of Christopher. You’d see that our lives are here now. I have a job I love and pays what we need. Christopher loves his school, his friends. He’s a popular, genius kid. He’s happy. I’m happy. And we’re doing good. But you don’t see that. You see that dumbass, scared kid making his next mistakes. And I’m sorry but I’m not going to let you drag me back into that spiral. If you need to be the parent to that kid, I can’t be the kid you’re parenting. I’ve grown up, mom.”

“So,” Helena clears her throat, hoping the waver in it will clear too. “That’s what the guardianship is? We...lost sight of you growing up. We didn’t give you what you needed. So you’re punishing us?”

Eddie sighs as if she didn’t understand.

“No, you know what? No, I’m sorry,” she switches tracks, her voice hard, “how are we supposed to see this new person you’ve become, Eddie? You left El Paso, left us behind, you won’t come home for holidays, you even stopped posting on Instagram, and when we come here to see you’re alive you won’t even let us into your home. So how? How are we supposed to see this magical transformation when you won’t let us in?”

Eddie watches her for a moment, weighing his words. “You show up for therapy.”

And that takes the wind out of her sails.

That’s what she came here for.

To apologize.

Not keep yelling.

Mom, listen…

Helena takes two deep breaths and crooks a smile. “Yeah.”

“You yell a lot.”

Christopher’s voice startles them both, pulling a short grunt of pain from Eddie as his shoulder jerks back. Christopher is leaning against the wall into the living room, wearing the disgruntled pout of someone who was woken up for no good reason.

“Christopher…” Eddie begins, trying to leverage himself off the couch.

Helena pushes him back down, and turns to Christopher, opening her arms.

“I do,” Helena admits softly, as Christopher comes over and leans into her side. “I do yell a lot. I’m...trying to yell less.”

“Dad never yells.”

Eddie smiles tiredly.

“Hmm,” Helena agrees, “I think there’s a lot of things I need to learn from your daddy.”

Christopher nods, his eyes drooping. “He’s the best,” he says, snuggling into her shoulder. She’s getting on a plane tomorrow so she takes the opportunity to relish in this hug, and press a long kiss on his curls.

“Ah, I thought I heard an escape artist on the prowl,” Buck says as he turns the corner.

“We woke him up,” Eddie says redundantly. “We’ll keep it quiet now, buddy.”

“K,” Christopher mumbles.

“Okay, buddy, let’s get you back to bed” Buck says quietly as he leans over to carefully scoop him into his arms. Christopher’s arms loop around his neck like he’s done it a million times, and his head falls to Buck’s shoulder.

“Buck’s the best too,” Christopher mumbles.

Buck’s ducks his face away.

“That’s what I hear,” Helena allows in a tone she hopes is gracious.

As they leave, they can hear Christopher say, “they stole your bed.”

Buck responds but it’s too quiet for them to follow the rest of the conversation.

Eddie ducks his head and sighs.

“That’s why you were keeping us away?” Helena asks, her voice more gentle than she thought she could muster at this point. “Because Buck’s crashing on your couch?”

Now that she’s looking, she spots the folded duvet stacked on the chair in the corner, the pillows tucked neatly below. It only makes her more aware that she found Eddie sleeping soundly on the very same couch.

“I didn’t — I didn’t want questions. I didn’t want dad’s look, the same look he has every time Buck comes up. The same look—” Eddie sighs harshly. “I didn’t feel like fielding questions. He was here for Christopher when I was in the hospital and when I came home… He helps. A lot.”

Helena nods pensively, and surprises herself by finding a kernel of gratitude towards Buck burgeoning in her chest.

“So, speaking of fucking up as parents,” she begins with a crooked smile that fades by the end of the phrase. She doesn’t know how to finish that sentence so she starts a new one. “The...hurt that piles up, that makes it hard to talk through...does some of it come from Matty?”

She can see an instinct flare up in her son to shake his head and dismiss the topic, but he doesn’t let it take hold. It’s time to face this.

“It didn’t help,” he admits.

Eddie and Matty met in sixth grade and became best friends almost instantly. They spent weekends in sleepovers, fought off other classmates to be each others’ group project partners, and spent every summer going to the same camps. Matty was an honorary Diaz before they even hit their teens.

Five years later, Matty came out to his family, and then to theirs. His parents took it well, Eddie’s parents didn’t.

The sleepovers stopped, the summer camps stopped, and if Ramon could have sent Eddie to another class he would have.

The day he came out to them was the last day he stepped foot in the Diaz home, a natural consequence of Ramon having run him out with caustic, angry words.

“We…” Helena licks her lips and looks away to gather her thoughts. “There’s a lot of reasons we reacted the way we did. Ignorance, more than anything. It really was a different world back then. But...the world has kept turning, things have kept changing and we can’t pretend to be ignorant anymore.” She looks Eddie in the eye to say, “we were wrong. We were wrong to chase him away. And if the day comes that Christopher is gay or trans or any of the other words we haven’t learned yet, we’re going to love him just as much as we do now.”

Eddie keeps her gaze for a moment before nodding. “I’m glad to hear it.” The way his shoulders gather near his ears says he doesn’t believe her though he’s trying.

Because when Eddie and Matty stood shoulder to shoulder to tell Ramon and Helena the news, Matty wasn’t the only one crushed. And they know, somewhere deep down, that their reaction was as extreme as it was because they were never fully sure if the hurt in Eddie’s eyes was on behalf of his best friend, or if they exploded before more news could be told.

And it still scares Helena to this day, to this very moment sitting on her son’s couch. It’s why they welcomed Shannon at first, the first girl Eddie really brought home, even though they didn’t approve of her overall.

But she knows now that there’s nothing anymore, not her pride, not her ignorance, that will stop her from trying to bridge the gap between them. So she continues deliberately, “and if this new, grown up version of you comes with any of those words, we’re not going to love you any less either.”

His eyes widen and for a moment she’s looking at her 17 year old son in the living room, eyes wide as Matty runs out of the house. She wishes this moment could replace that one, stamp out that mistake forever. But it can’t, so she has to make this one count even more.

“I’ll still be here, and I’m listening. I...I see you,” she says. “You and Christopher. I see you settled in so well here, even now with your injury.”

Eddie remains quiet, but apprehension creeps across his face and his eyes dart behind her where Buck and Christopher disappeared.

“I see the boots at the entrance,” she continues, her voice pitched low, “the extra toothbrush you forgot to hide away. The tupperwares full of food Isabel and Ana didn’t make. But more than anything, I see Buck. Everywhere.” A smile creeps up her lips. “The only place I didn’t see him was at brunch with Ana and call me crazy but I feel like you would have preferred he was there too.”

Eddie’s lip is being chewed to within an inch of its life, and his eyes are trained on the couch cushion.

“Hey,” she taps his knee. “You...grew up to be a good man, and a good father.” The words are so many years too late but she’s grateful to see them land as Eddie’s eyes begin to shimmer. “And you deserve everything you want for Christopher. Happiness, whatever that looks like.”

Eddie swallows thickly and clears his throat. “And dad?”

“Dad...has his head too far up his own ass to see or hear anything,” Helena admits. “But he’s due for a colonoscopy soon so I’ll work on it.”

Eddie chokes on a laugh that catches him off-guard and suddenly they’re both laughing, quietly so they don’t wake Christopher up again.

When they recover, Eddie invites her to the kitchen for a drink, where Buck is packing Christopher’s lunch for school tomorrow.

When she leaves, her stomach is in knots she imagines won’t smooth out for a few weeks yet, but a weight’s been lifted off her chest and her heart is full in a way it hasn’t been in years.

When she lands in El Paso, her phone pings with a message from Eddie: Hope you had a good flight. Free Friday for a call?

———-

When Friday comes, after catching up with Christopher, Eddie tells them he broke it off with Ana.

Helena digs her nails into Ramon’s knee instinctively, but she prepared him well and despite his continued reservations, all he says is, “That’s too bad, mijo.”

———-

Two months of virtual therapy and video chats later, Eddie tells them he’s bisexual. They react the way they should have all those years ago, and Helena tries to be grateful they got to have this moment at all instead of mourn for the years Eddie lost because of them.

There’s no mention of Buck, but Eddie’s eyes flit fondly over the laptop screen every once in a while at Christopher and someone else off-screen.

The call takes place at 8am LA time, and the sling has been gone for nearly three weeks.

———

At Christmas, Eddie and Christopher are waiting for them with smiles on their faces at LAX’s baggage claim. When they get home, Buck is there opening the door and helping them with their luggage.

Isabel isn’t there to mediate but supper that evening goes smoothly. The tension that lurks is anticipatory on all sides, a feeling of this being too good to last. But by dessert, everyone is sitting back in their chairs and smiling. And when Buck rounds the table to start the clean up, he places a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, his thumb brushing the back of Eddie’s neck, and Helena watches as the last bit of strain melts out of his body.

The basket of gauze is nowhere to be found in the bathroom, nor is the purple toothbrush. Instead, there’s a third electric toothbrush standing in line with the rest.

Helena’s been keeping an eye out for opportunities to follow Adriana’s advice. To find the words she actually, truly means, and say them before she runs out of time. So before turning in, she takes Eddie aside and tells him, “I’m really happy you found your home here in LA. I’m really proud of the family you’ve made.”

And when she closes her arms around him, she can feel him fold into her like he used to as a kid, no polite distance or anxiety. Just comfort.

[midnightstar-90]

Hidden~ Eddie Diaz x Nash! Reader

A/N: Not edited because I'm in school, but I will edit later. I hope you're enjoying the story so far. I plan to go by episode when I get to season 3 plots.

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Flashback to 2003

Narrator's POV

'The fifth game. This was the fifth game he has missed this year. He wasn't even there to comfort me in the ambulance.'  Y/N sat angrily on the hospital bed, with a cast on her foot. She was so mad at her father. For the second year in a row, Her father has missed all her activities.

She knows why he isn't there, but she thought that when her father told her that he was getting married and having another child, he would at least make time for her. Now, she is in the hospital with only her mother by her side.

The doctor walks into the room with a smile. "Well young lady, you are free to go. Your mother can sign you out at the front desk, and then you may go," The doctor said.

As I'm getting ready to go, Bobby runs in. "I'm so sorry. Marcy had a doctor's appointment, and I lost track of time," he says.

Y/N hops away, using her crutch, and rolls her eyes. "Y/N,"  Bobby calls out defeated. "She scored the winning goal before breaking her leg. When she saw your team come to her rescue, she thought that maybe, just maybe, her father would still see all her hard work. It seems like you care about your new family more, but get this through your head, Robert. She... Is... Your family," Y/M/N says with an angry tone.

Bobby stood in the hospital room looking at the bed where his daughter laid, injured. He knew he messed up. He knew he was losing his daughter. She is almost a teenager. He had to make it up to her.

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Bobby's POV

I know the best way to make it up to Y/N. Ever since she was little, she loved riding with me and the crew as we saved people's lives. I told Marcy that even though I had to work I was also going to spend time with my daughter. She was okay with that.

Y/N's Pov

When my dad picked me up, I didn't know what to expect. I was still injured and mad, so what could we possibly be doing. I got into the car when I noticed his work bag.

My face lit up when I figured out what was happening. "Am I going to work with you," I questioned my father? "Yeah, and I have a surprise for you," my dad said while watching the road. He tried to hide his smile but I knew it was there.

When we got to the Firestation, everyone greeted me. I saw some old faces and some new ones. We walked to the changing room. When we entered, my dad opened his bag and handed me some clothes. "You got me one of your uniforms," I said while jumping up and down. He nodded his head and we headed out.

The ride was so cool. Even though I still had my cast on, the fire crew let me put out a small fire with the hose. It was so cool. We then had to help out a gruesome fight. The gory calls were always the best. We ended the day with the team going out for burgers and milkshakes.

I had so much fun with my dad. The next day, I went to school still wearing my dad's fire department shirt he gave me.

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Present Day

Narrator's POV

When Bobby saw the woman he once called his baby girl, he knew he had to see her. He sat in the hospital lobby along with Eddie remembering the conversation he had with Athena.

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2 hours ago

Bobby's POV

"What's wrong? It looks like you've seen a ghost," Athena asks with a chuckle. I keep a very serious look and say, "I did. That was my daughter." Athena looks at me with a serious/confused face and asks, "What?!"

"When I was young, I was also reckless," I said with a sigh. "So is every man in the world, but go on," Athena said jokingly.

I gave Athena the summary of my life before LA, "Y/N was a drunken mistake, but I still loved her. When I got with Marcy, I didn't hang out with her as much. Then I had the kids. When the fire happened, I knew I couldn't be around Y/N, so I did what I thought any father would do to protect their child. I ran. Now she's here in LA, with a son, and teaching Eddie's kid."

"Well, it seems like Y/N being back is a sign. Maybe you could get a second chance with her. You are great with May and Harry, why can't you use what you learned to better your relationship with your daughter?"

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Narrator's POV

Y/N woke as the Nurse was checking her vitals. Y/N groaned and said, "What happened, and where is my son?" The nurse jumped and said, "Oh, Miss Nash you're awake. Well, you were in a car accident. Your son is fine. He is in the children's ward with minor injuries."

Y/N let out a breath, with the knowledge that her son was fine. "You have some visitors. I'm gonna let them in now."

'Visitors? What visitors? I just moved here. Did my mom find out somehow?' Y/n's thoughts took a pause as her door opened. It was two firefighters. One I knew for a fact was Eddie, and the other was someone who looked familiar, but I had no clue who they were.

"Eddie? What are you doing here?" Y/N asked smiling. He tried to give me a hug without hurting me. "Well, Chris has school on Monday, so I had to check on his new favorite teacher," he joked. Y/N laughed and smiled. Bobby watched his daughter with his co-worker. Y/N looked toward the familiar stranger.

"Hi, I'm Bobby Nash. I'm the LAFD's 118 fire captain." When Y/N heard the name, she instantly remembered the name. "Dad?" she said with tears in her eyes. Bobby wiped the tears from his eyes and walked over to his daughter. Eddie moved out of the way so that his fire captain could reunite with his daughter.

"Yeah baby, it's me." Y/N couldn't believe her eyes. Eddie decided to let the family talk and went to have a nurse bring Y/N's son to her room. "You left me," Y/N said now fully crying. "Let me explain. I was having a hard time at work, and it set me off. I did some things that I regret to this very day. I couldn't protect some of my family, but I knew I could protect you from the darkness inside of me. I didn't know what the best thing to do was, so I ran. I am so sorry," Bobby explained wholeheartedly.

Y/N instantly went in for a hug. She still had tears in her eyes, but she was happy. Still sad, but happy she gets another chance with her father. "I saw you today. You may not have been there to save me when I broke my, but you were there to save me today." Bobby smiled when a little boy walked into the room with Eddie.

The boy ran in. "Mommy," the boy yelled to the top of his lungs. Eddie helped him onto the bed. "Hi, baby. Zach, this is Bobby and Eddie. Eddie is Chris' dad an-" Y/N was cut off by her son, "The Eddie you said looked hot." "Shhh," Y/N said with a finger to lips. Eddie and Bobby watched the two and chuckled.

Y/N explained to Zachary that Bobby was his grandfather, and Zach was so happy. The 4-year-old almost ran Bobby down with the hug he gave. Y/N and Bobby were so happy to have their family back.

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Eddie's Pov

After the visit to the hospital, I think it is safe to say that I like Y/N. The hard part was telling Shannon. She is Christopher's mother. I walked into the house to see Shannon and Chris making pizza.

"Daddy!" "Hey buddy," I say picking him up, "How was school?" "School was awesome. Y/N taught me math using M&M's, and then we got to eat them. During recess, Y/N and her son Zach played with me." The way Chris talked about Y/N made me like her even more. "When mommy picked me up we went to the store for ice cream and pizza. She said we're gonna watch a movie," Christopher said with a huge grin. Just when I think I want something, I remember that sometimes what I want isn't all about me.

The food finished cooking, and we sat down as a family and ate. We watched 'A Bug's Life' before Shannon left. I went to put Christopher to bed, but before he went to bed I wanted to have a talk. "Buddy, if I wasn't with mommy, but you could still hang out with her, you would be fine with that right." He looked at me and said, "We just got her back. Do you not love her anymore."

"No, I will forever love your mommy, but she's been gone for so long that I think it is time for me to move on." "Are you talking about with Miss.Nash, because I saw the way you looked at her, and it was the same way I look at my dessert," I laughed at his joke.

"I like Miss. Nash and I love mommy. I don't want to lose them." What he said gave me a lot to think about. "Ok, bud. Go to sleep," I said standing by the door. I turned off the light and headed to my room. I got ready for bed and slept on my thoughts.

Taglist: @notanordinaryprincess95 @jjpogueprincess @wiypt-writes

[deluweil]

Ok, so I finally watched the episode - (I slept in really late today, it was amazing)  and learned how to do an under the cut - because this is going to be very long - I will not start with buddie, or how sweet exhausted Madney are, or how I feel bad for Albert who has the same grievances as Buck did while recuperating, or how I was happy to see more of Mrs. Lee.

I want to start by how completely shattered I was by watching Nia leave, I literally had to pause because I was crying like a baby and couldn’t bring myself to move on and change the mood. 

I am happy that Nia’s mom is just a woman who had trouble to provide for herself and her baby, especially with the pandemic hitting around that time, and that Nia will be happy and safe with her mom, but I was absolutely heartbroken for Hen and Karen and even while I’m writing this I’m tearing up again.

I do love that while Karen managed to bring Hen around to foster kids again, I actually asked out loud “what about Denny?” - I love that they sat down with him and asked for his opinion, because this involves him too. 

Which is btw, in complete parallel to Edmundo not asking or talking to Christopher about how he feels about him dating again, or bringing her to the house to crash movie nights - because it involves him too and we get no resolution on that particular end to this day.

I have to say that the side stories, while emotional in nature - the flashbacks of complete strangers felt unnecessary - and after pretty much crying my eyes out for Nia and the Wilsons, the side stories felt like a waste of time.

Watching Athena and May finally ‘have it out’ over May’s suicide attempt from S1 was so overdue, and I’m glad we got to see it. Athena’s overreaction and May’s lack of understanding where her mom is coming from was a stepping stone for Athena to have a talk with Bobby that allows her to forgive herself if only a little and for May to show growth on two fronts - 

1. she gave a second chance to a high school bully. - High school is a breeding ground for bullies and victims, it’s only when we see the world through the eyes of an adult, especially through May’s who’s working in dispatch and having weekly therapy sessions - I love that she is being the bigger person here and allows that horrible girl - who may have changed into a better adult - another chance.

2. Working in dispatch also allows May to go back to the worst day of her mother’s life and hear just exactly what happened, and that allows a second kind of growth - she shows compassion and understanding towards Athena, she now knows what happened and how her steel made mom shattered to pieces because she thought she lost her daughter. - I love how May comes into the house and just hugs her mom and apologizes - the story was very well written.

Madney - was super adorable, my own sister recently had a second baby, brother to a 2yo toddler who’s new favorite word is ‘No’, so the exhausted parents sight was very familiar. 

I love that both of them returned to work, personally I don’t know if I would have been able to leave so quickly after giving birth (here maternity leave is 3 months most mothers extend to 6 months or even a year.) but it’s good, in my eyes, that both parents got to get back to normal life, breath some air outside crying, feeding and diaper changes.

Also important to remember - it really does take a village, and I’m glad they showed it here too. I absolutely adore Mrs. Lee, she’s a sweetheart. I found it so funny when Chimney, in his exhausted state said “strangers” and seconds later realized he insulted his adopting mother, I really laughed a lot. 

I also love that Albert moved in with the Lee’s, he will finally have a place where he will not feel guilty about lying and resting while the rest of the house members deal with a newborn baby on top of everything. I hope his return to normal will be easier than Buck’s. On the plus side he’s not working yet so no one can tell him no. ;)

Buddie had me breathing new life this episode, the “she looks like Buck when he’s gassy” (like dude why do you know that?), the “I’ll take it as a complement” retort and Eddie’s fond smile response.

Eddie looking to Buck with the saw with a confident look, to get the lady who was unfortunately pinned to the donkey off with the door. I have to point out that Eddie’s uncertain, sympathetic, I know how you feel look, when the lady talked about no matter what she does it’s wrong - giving me all the signs I need to know that things with Christopher are not ok. and exactly as the fics tell it, Chris is not happy with his dad’s life’s choices right now and it bleeds into everyday life stuff too.

The quarter life crisis- I loved that call!! - Buck says it’s a real thing from experience - God knows we all saw it (also I may have had it myself 😂) and Eddie (or was it Ryan?) laughing again with that fond look of his when it involves Buck.

And the best part  - can’t you both be good cop? - Buck and Eddie’s simultaneous “NO” was so Awesome!! I watched it again and again and again and laughed a lot. But what stood out the most it that no one retorts that Buck is not a parent, or ask how he could possibly know that, there was only slightly confused look from Chimney, who looked thoughtful 0.01s later and a Bobby knows look, Hen doesn’t even dignifies these moments with a response anymore because she definitely knows! 

Also loved Eddie flirting with Buck a moment later saying “curious to see what your definition of too much discipline is.” - Yes my loves that is very much flirting, there will be no discussion here. - I love that Buck’s response is a smile and a tilt of the head to the side, you can see Buck’s expression even under the mask.

It wasn’t a lot of buddie, but the scenes themselves were huge, in my eyes buddie is alive and well and if you can’t see it, I advise you to go to station 19, check out the brother connection between Miller and Gibson, or Strike Back’s Scott and Stonebridge, or Teen Wolf Scott and Stiles then compare it to Eddie and Buck’s, and only after you’ve done that come back and tell us we’re seeing things 🙃

I would have addressed that poor excuse for a scene (1-2 seconds was it?) between Edmundo and she who I refuse to name (rebounds are usually forgotten very quickly, I already forgot her 😈) but the only 3 things worth mentioning is that: 

1. That scene in the promo where she cuddles up to him and looks happy? They cut it in editing.

2. Christopher interrupts them, as always. She allows him to join them even though it’s a school night and she didn’t even look at Eddie before she did.

And last but not least - The amazing Christopher in being seated, By Eddie, between them. - Also he (Eddie) does not look happy about it, he’s fond with Christopher, but looks confused as hell by her allowing it without asking Eddie. 

Now Buck - Buck would have looked to Eddie, and should the answer would have been no, he would have bargained, as we know he does when he babysat last time, and Buck would have gotten Christopher back to bed. - Just saying.

Overall it was a good episode, I liked most of it, kind of reminded me of S1 energy, it felt good. (you know, except for the obvious)

[luxekook]

chapter two.

⇥ pairing: namjoon x reader; eventual bts/ot7 x reader

⇥ genre: college au with fluff, smut & angst

⇥ summary: a series in which the reader meets (and falls for) seven members of the Beta Tau Sigma (BTS) fraternity

⇥ word count: 2.3k

⇥ warnings: 18+, cursing, chaotic namjoon, power tools, hints of poly relationships, overall pretty smut free (who AM i???)

© luxekook. please do not repost, modify, edit or translate.

characters | prologue | one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine

Chapter Two

Habitat for Humanity Worksite – 9:26am

When I signed up to volunteer Saturday morning of syllabus week, I should have known I would end up regretting it. I almost punted my alarm clock out of the apartment window this morning, but instead settled a slightly more civil action – punching the shit out of the ‘off’ button.

Don’t get me wrong: I love volunteering. It’s been part of my routine since sophomore year when I was recruited for the all-women’s service society on campus – the Alphites. As a society, us Alphites volunteer around campus and in our local community each week. There’s something about doing service together that really creates bonds, and the girls in the society have quickly become some of my closest friends.

We sign up to volunteer for a variety of different service projects each week, and Habitat is my current favorite project to sign up for. As a nonprofit organization, Habitat for Humanity helps families build and improve places to call home. Currently, our regional Habitat is working on building a house from the ground up for a local family in need.

Disclaimer: I am in no way, shape, or form a very ‘handy’ person. Luckily for me, there are always a couple volunteers with construction or engineering backgrounds who are willing to teach other volunteers with less experience – or none, like me.

Since beginning to volunteer at the site last year, I have learned how to use a power saw, how to fasten siding, and how to mix, pour and level cement. It’s definitely empowering to learn new skills and also to see how my handiwork contributes to someone’s future home. I also feel lowkey badass when I get to use the power drill for anything.

Pulling up to the worksite, I clutch my cherished 24oz. Wawa coffee. I finally feel somewhat human as I park my beat-up Jeep Wrangler and hop out to meet the other volunteers for our task assignments.

The site leader Eddie – a burly retiree with a background in construction management – greets me with a huge grin, “(y/n)-doll, we missed you this summer! I can’t believe you abandoned us during the hottest months of the year.”

I roll my eyes, smiling at his teasing. Eddie’s like a teddy bear disguised as a grizzly – all rough edges and a heart of gold. “Missed you, too, Eddie.”

“Look at our progress now,” he continues, “Pretty impressive, yeah?” Nodding, I greet some regular volunteers I recognize as Eddie leads me around the house. He proceeds to show me what they had done over the summer in my absence – and they had done a lot. The house now had its full foundation and wooden framing with most of the doors and windows installed.

As we walk back to the front of the house to the main area, I sip my coffee and turn to Eddie, “So, what can I work on today, fearless leader?”

Letting out a patented ‘Eddie belly-laugh’, he replies, “I know you worked on the siding at our last site so I'm gonna have you work on where we started the siding on the right side of the house.”

Sweet, I could work with that. “Aye, aye, captain,” I respond with a lazy salute of my coffee cup. Before I can turn to start towards the scaffolding to begin, Eddie stops me.

“Oh, one more thing. I’m gonna need you to orient our new volunteer and let him shadow you today. Kid’s from the same school as you, I think… Mandatory service. Anyway, he should be here any minute.”

Shit, I know what ‘mandatory service’ means. It’s the first form of disciplinary action that the college issues and is usually the only form of disciplinary action for our athletes or for Greek life – a fact I actively resent. During my time in the Alphites, I have had to deal with some of these ‘mandatory service’ characters and they’ve never been much fun to be around.

“Ah, that’s probably him now,” Eddie startles me out of my thoughts of dread and doom as a black gleaming Tesla practically purrs down the block, swinging into the spot next to my Wrangler. Scowling, I cross my arms as I survey the stark contrast between this person’s shiny-ass luxury car and my dirty-ass well-loved Jeep.

The Tesla door opens. A Timberland booted foot emerges followed by a thick leg encased in light jeans, a tanned well-muscled arm…

No. Nope, it couldn’t be— Please, not today, Satan.

He stands with his back to us now, stretching out his large body. In only a cutoff t-shirt, his rippling back muscles might be enough to send me into an early grave.

I sigh in bitter defeat of the inevitable. Seriously, the fucking universe must have it out for me because I can’t seem to shake this stupid fucking fraternity.

As if the boy feels my eyes on him, he turns. His eyes immediately clash with mine as he slams his car door, clicking the lock over his shoulder. Those eyes – golden brown beneath dark brows and a wave of bleached blonde hair. Their focus is absolute – hard – as he strolls towards us. It’s almost as if he knows the maddening effect that he has on me.

I think Eddie is speaking, but my senses are on lockdown, his words muted. My thighs tighten as my pulse picks up. Get a fucking grip, (y/n). I can’t let him know that just one look from him has me thirsty and oxygen-deprived. I can’t look away – that would be succumbing to weakness.

Instead, I hold his heated gaze as best I can as his confident gait brings him closer. God, he’s got to be at least 6 foot...

The goddamn president of BTS Kim Namjoon is getting closer and I can’t help running my eyes over him.

His thighs flex and shift beneath his jeans with every calculated step. His abs are apparent under his tight cutoff shirt emblazoned with his fraternity letters.

Namjoon stops in front of us, hands stuffed into his back pockets, biceps flexing. “Nice to finally meet you, Eddie,” Namjoon takes his eyes off me long enough to greet Eddie and shake his hand, but then they’re right back on me, “Hi, (y/n).”

He drags out my name in a such a sinful way that even old Eddie does a slight doubletake. Clearing his throat unnecessarily loudly, Eddie booms, “You two know each other?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

Our differing replies sound at the same time.

“Yes,” Namjoon repeats, lips turning up in an infuriating smile, “We have several mutual friends that she’s met a couple times now. Want me to jog your memory? I’d be more than happy to do so.”

Eddie takes one look at my face and hustles off, mumbling something about support beams. I guess my inner thoughts of ‘kill, maim, slaughter’ could easily be read from my facial expression.

Namjoon opens his mouth to speak again, but I’m faster, “Listen, Kim, I don’t know who you think you are, and, quite frankly, I don’t care. What I do care about is this house and these people working on it. Don’t fuck this up for me, okay? Let’s just get through today and then you can go back to ordering around your brothers and causing general mayhem.”

I’m feeling pretty proud of my little soliloquy until I realize he’s still smiling with those blasted dimples out in full display. No, his smile has grown even wider now as he simply answers, “The semester.”

My nose crinkles in confusion, “What?”

“The semester,” he repeats, “I’m assigned here every Saturday for the rest of the semester.”

I stare at him.

He smirks back.

I stare.

His smirk begins to fade, “Uh, did you hear me?”

I stare.

“Okay, you’re creeping me out now, (y/n),” Namjoon waves his giant paw of a hand in front of my face, “How many fingers?”

I break out of my trance of denial and hiss, “What did you do? Double homicide? Serial arson? Oh my god, you were the one who blew up the science lab!”

His hand covers my mouth – it’s rough and warm and entirely disarming.

“You have quite the imagination, jagi. I’ll keep that in mind,” Namjoon chuckles, “To answer your question, I did none of the above. Now, answer a couple questions of mine: what did you do to get here and – more importantly – why did you distract Jungkook from doing his fucking job on Monday?”

I glare in response, waiting for him to remove his hand from my mouth. He takes too long, and I lick his palm. It works. He removes his hand, but from the look on his face it seems like he liked my tongue on his skin entirely too much.

Thankfully, Eddie chooses the perfect moment to yell across the site, “What are you doing just standing there, (y/n)-doll? I don’t pay you to just loiter around all day!”

“You don’t pay me at all!” I yell back, already moving towards the trailer with all the supplies to get started. Namjoon follows.

“(y/n)-doll?” his eyebrows are raised as I hand him a pair of the biggest gloves I could find, “What’s up with that?”

Taking a pair of smaller gloves for myself, I turn to look for some hammers and nails as I respond, “I’ve been here a while. He’s like my honorary grandfather at this point.”

I spot the hammers and nails tucked away on the highest corner shelf and I huff. Namjoon follows my gaze, “Need a strong, intelligent, tall young man to grab those for you?”

He’s impossible, but for some reason it draws a small smile to my face, “Yes, that’d be great.”

The smile I receive in response is so bright I wonder if it could make flowers grow, “Okay, but only if answer my questions, (y/n).”

I shrug, trying not to notice how his cutoff shirt rises as he stretches to reach the upper shelf. I catch a sudden glimpse of his abs, and I praise every god out there that hot weather can be blamed for my sudden onset of sweat. 

Clearing my throat, I laugh lightly, “Fine, first of all, I didn’t ‘distract’ Jeon. I just had a temporary lapse in judgement. Besides, he came to me all on his own.” His back muscles tense up at my words, but I continue, “And second of all, there’s no juicy story of how I got here. I just volunteer here every Saturday for the Alphites.”

The sound of a hammer hitting the floor startles me as he whirls around, “You’re an Alphite?”

Namjoon’s tone is one of disbelief and it’s a tone I do not appreciate, “Yes, why is that so hard to believe?” My arms cross defensively, “I’ve been a sister since my sophomore year...”

I trail off. He’s still gawking at me ridiculously. Narrowing my eyes, I stride across the trailer and grab his chin, closing his mouth for him, “Watch out, Kim, you’re gonna catch flies.”

Spinning on my heels, I sashay out of the trailer, nose held high in the air and satisfaction held even higher. He’ll catch up. After all, he’s basically supposed to be my bitch today.

I climb up the scaffolding next to the house’s right side and assess the siding work that has already been started. It looks pretty solid and level. I should have no issue with continuing without having to make any initial corrections.

The sound of a bucket of nails hitting the top platform I’m sitting on alerts me of Namjoon’s impending presence. Saving the bucket from teetering over the edge – a safety hazard for sure – I watch amusedly as Namjoon struggles stay upright and climb up to where I am on the scaffolding. Finally, he plops down next to me – entirely too close. I can feel his stare on my skin as I steadfastly ignore him.

“Hey, jagi,” he pokes my arm, “(y/n), listen, you just caught me off guard. I mean, you don’t seem like the type to be an Alphite – that’s all.”

Fury curls up inside me for the umpteenth time that morning, as I turn to face Namjoon with a sickly-sweet smile that has him flinching back, “Then do tell, Namjoon, what type I seem to be?”

I pick up the hammer closest to me and dip a hand into the nail bucket. The sooner this siding got done, the sooner I could haul ass out of here.

“I feel like that’s a trick question,” Namjoon sighs, rubbing a hand over his chin, “I didn’t mean anything bad by it, okay? I guess I just have always thought that your society was a bunch of mom-types—”

I cut him off with a swing of my hammer in the air, “What’s wrong with mom-types, you uncultured swine? And is serving your community really such a ‘mom’ thing to do? I’m sorry. I must have missed that memo. Here I was thinking that it was public service but go off I guess.”

He blinks, “Did you just call me an ‘uncultured swine’?”

I sniff in indignation, “Get with the times, Kim. I just roasted your ass. Now hand me that piece of siding and make yourself useful.”

“You’re so weird,” Namjoon mutters, sliding my request over to me.

“So what?” I shrug, “All the best people are weird. Now, do me a solid and explain to me why you and your ‘brothers’ keep suspiciously popping up everywhere I go.”

“Haven’t you figured it out yet?” he grins, “We’re interested.”

“What does that even mean? That you’re interested?” I wrack my brain, “As in all seven of you fuckers?”

“It means, jagi,” Namjoon pauses, leaning closer, “It means that we’re going to date the shit out of you.”

a/n: i love namjoon. that is all. 

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[sugarandspace]

The Whole Story (Buddie)

Summary: Eddie told him that he trusts Buck, that none of it was Buck’s fault. He told Buck that the way Christopher sees it, Buck saved him. And that’s enough for Eddie. 

But it’s not enough for Buck.

Eddie only knows Christopher’s side of the story and Buck can’t accept the trust and the forgiveness when he knows that Eddie doesn’t have the whole story. It would be so easy to just move forward, to never tell Eddie what really happened, to accept this forgiveness and move on.

Except it isn’t easy, and every day Buck doesn’t talk to Eddie about it feels like a day he’s lying to him.

Warnings: there’s talk about things that happened in the tsunami episodes!

Word count: 2,868

A/N: I swear I tried to just casually enjoy this show but then I got a fic idea and it wouldn’t leave me alone

AO3

Two weeks after the tsunami, things have mostly returned to normal. It’s slightly unnerving for Buck to see life go on as if nothing happened, when so much did happen and when he finds it difficult to move past that.

Things are good, he tells himself. His wounds have mostly healed by now, just pink scars left where he nearly bled out. His body doesn’t ache when he moves, not like it did when he was finally able to rest when he saw Christopher safe in Eddie's arms, like it did for days afterwards.

It’s not his body that’s the problem here.

It’s his mind, it’s how he can’t seem to get a moment of peace from the memories. He hasn’t dared to go near the beach, when just taking a shower nearly sends him to a panic attack. He doesn’t remember when was the last time when he slept and didn’t dream, when was the last time he didn’t scream himself awake. When he didn’t wake up screaming for Christopher.

And it’s his heart, how the guilt weighs heavy in his chest, even after the short conversation he had with Eddie when he dropped Christopher off at his place a couple days after the tsunami. Christopher has come over many times after that, and when Buck is with him there are moments when it’s a little easier to breathe, when he can see with his own eyes that Christopher is okay.

But always, without a doubt, his mind supplies him with “but not thanks to you” .

Eddie told him that he trusts Buck, that none of it was Buck’s fault. He told Buck that the way Christopher sees it, Buck saved him. And that’s enough for Eddie.

But it’s not enough for Buck.

Eddie only knows Christopher’s side of the story and Buck can’t accept the trust and the forgiveness when he knows that Eddie doesn’t have the whole story. It would be so easy to just move forward, to never tell Eddie what really happened, to accept this forgiveness and move on.

Except it isn’t easy, and every day Buck doesn’t talk to Eddie about it feels like a day he’s lying to him.

He tried, the first time, but it was clear that Eddie didn’t want to hear it. Buck knows that Eddie isn’t one to have heavy conversations, especially ones that have a high chance of turning emotional, and he knows that the way he’s avoiding the longer, more detailed story of the day of the tsunami is probably as much for himself as it is for Buck’s sake.

But Buck needs him to know, can’t go on pretending everything is fine.

That’s why he finds himself parked in front of Eddie’s house just after ten one morning when he knows that Eddie has a day off. He specifically waited for today, when he knew that Christopher would be at school and Eddie would be home alone. Now they would be able to have the conversation without needing to worry about shielding Christopher from it. The boy is doing surprisingly well all things considered and Buck doesn’t want to remind him of anything, doesn’t want to make him relive memories that Buck wishes he could learn to forget himself.

Just because Buck isn’t doing as well, doesn’t mean he can’t be glad that Christopher is. It makes him admire the boy’s optimism and strength even more.

Buck grips the steering wheel a little too tightly, his knuckles white as he looks at the house. He’s never before been afraid to walk in.

He takes a deep breath and lets go of the steering wheel, unbuckling his seatbelt and getting out of the car before he can change his mind and drive back to his flat.

He’s been putting this off for too long, and while Buck knows that there's a possibility that when he tells Eddie the whole story, he’s going to lose the friendship he has with him, he also knows that it’s going to happen sooner or later, and he’s not going to be able to handle another day of lying by omission.

It feels like his heart is in his throat when he knocks on the door and waits for Eddie to open it.

“Buck!”

Eddie looks surprised but happy to see him, but Buck can’t find the strength to fake a smile. It makes Eddie furrow his brows and step aside as he motions for Buck to come inside.

Buck does, and he dries his sweaty palms to his jeans.

“Come on,” Eddie says and leads him to the living room. “Sit down.”

Buck doesn’t say anything, but follows Eddie to the living room and sits down on the couch with him. The television is on, some kind of a sitcom playing there while Eddie was apparently folding laundry if the pile of clothing on the table is anything to go by.

Among the clothing, Buck spots a familiar yellow shirt and he turns his head away sharply, closing his eyes as flashes of that yellow in the dirty water come to the forefront of his mind, completely uninvited but strong.

“...Buck, Buck!”

Buck’s eyes snap open and he looks at Eddie who’s suddenly a lot closer than he was a moment ago. His hand is on Buck’s shoulder and he’s looking at Buck with concern clear on his face.

“What’s going on Buck?” He asks gently, and the tone almost brings tears to Buck’s eyes. He wonders if he’ll ever hear that tone again after he tells Eddie what he came here to tell.

“I need to talk to you,” Buck says and tries his best to hold eye contact.

Eddie gives him a slow nod, looking confused. Buck doesn’t blame him.

“About the tsunami,” Buck continues, and he can see a flash of something in Eddie’s eyes before he pulls his hand away from Buck like it burns.

Buck wonders if that’s a sign of how this conversation is going to go, but instead of panic now all he can feel is a deep sadness and resignation. He wouldn’t blame Eddie if he never wanted to see Buck outside of work again, knows it’s what he deserves.

“Buck,” Eddie starts, moving a little away from Buck as if the physical distance will also distance him from the conversation. “You don’t need to.”

“I do,” Buck says. “I do need to. I need you to hear the whole story. I need you to know all the facts. I can’t accept your forgiveness when you don’t know what I did.”

“I know you did all you could,” Eddie says, his words sure. Buck smiles sadly at how fast Eddie says it, how sure he is of the words he says.

“But I need you to know everything,” Buck says, and this time Eddie doesn’t argue. He looks apprehensive but stays quiet, showing Buck that he’s listening.

“I-,” Buck starts but his words fail him, and he doesn’t know where to start. Eddie doesn’t push him, and eventually, Buck decides to start from the beginning. After all, he’s here to give Eddie the whole story.

“We were at the pier when the tsunami came,” he starts.

Once he starts, he doesn’t stop. He lets the words pour out and doesn’t stop to think about them because he’s afraid of what will happen if he lets his mind focus on them for too long. He feels like he’s back at the pier, back in the water, and back at that fire truck. He can’t look at Eddie as he speaks, doesn’t want to see whatever expression is on his best friend’s face.

“Things seemed relatively good then,” Buck says as he tells about how they waited for rescue on top of the fire truck. “We were playing I Spy. That’s when the water started bringing bodies with it. So many dead people in the water and there was nothing we could do to help them.”

Buck looks at Eddie then, just quickly before he lowers his eyes back to his hands that he’s wringing together in his lap. Eddie looks horrified so Buck speaks quickly.

“I picked Christopher up and turned him so his back was to the bodies,” he says, because he doesn’t want Eddie to worry about Christopher seeing that. “We continued playing I Spy with things high up on the sky until the bodies were past us.”

“Thank you,” Eddie says then. Buck looks up at that, for the first time holding eye contact since he started talking. “For not letting him see that.”

And no, this isn’t what Buck is here to tell. He’s not here to tell Eddie about the parts he did right that Christopher doesn’t know about, he’s here to tell him about the parts he did wrong.

“The next surge brought more people,” Buck says, desperate to make Eddie see the truth. “And they were alive.”

He remembers it all as clear as if it happened an hour ago, has played it over and over again in his mind since it happened, thinking of different ways of how he could have done better, how he should have acted.

“I tried to help them climb into the truck with us,” Buck says, his eyes aimed somewhere over Eddie’s shoulder but looking somewhere far. He tries his best to distance himself from the moment, even if it means going back to that moment. If he focuses on Eddie’s reaction he’ll never get the words out of his mouth. “I turned my back on Christopher, and then I heard the sound of someone falling.”

Buck feels physically sick as he says the words, the guilt only intensifying as he hears Eddie gasp. He continues before Eddie has a chance to say anything.

“I tried to look for him,” he says, his voice coming out wobbly but he pushes forward past the tightness in his throat. “I couldn’t see him anywhere so I jumped in the water, hoping the stream would take me in the same direction it took him. I tried so hard to find him, Eddie, I really did.”

He lets the tears fall then, feeling hollow now that the story is out there, now that Eddie knows how he lost his son. While it is unclear how their friendship will be after this, there are no more secrets hanging between them, no more false sense of normalcy. Buck knows he has no right to cry, but he can’t help it. He leans his elbows to his knees and hides his face in his hands as the sobs wrack his body.

“Buck,” Eddie says, and Buck can feel a hand on his shoulder. He doesn’t dare to look at him.

“Evan.”

He can’t read the tone, so Buck takes a couple of deep breaths and tries to calm down before he straightens his back and looks up at Eddie. This is not about him, and he’s going to face whatever Eddie is going to say to him head-on because he knows whatever it is, he deserves it.

“Thank you for telling me,” Eddie says. His face is solemn and his eyes glisten with tears Buck knows he won't let fall, but at least Buck can’t see anger there. The next words Eddie says take Buck’s breath away.

“But it doesn’t change anything.”

“What?” Buck says weakly, not sure if he can trust his own ears. “Didn’t you hear-”

“I heard how you saved him from the water and brought him on top of the fire truck where you’d be safe for the time being,” Eddie says. “I heard how you tried your best to keep him happy and to distract him, I heard how you didn’t let him see all the horrible things you had to see. I heard how you also did your job, helping other people to safety. As far as you thought, Christopher was safe. You couldn’t have known that he would fall over.”

“But I shouldn’t have turned my back on him,” Buck argues, his tone raising a little. “He was supposed to be my priority! Not some strangers in the water! Didn’t you just hear what I told you?”

“We help strangers every day at our job,” Eddie reminds him. “You wouldn’t be the person I know if you’d just let them drown when you knew you could help them. I can’t tell you what I would have done in your situation, because I wasn’t there. And I’m so fucking sorry you had to be there, the both of you. You did the best you could in that awful situation you were in. And yes, I did hear what you told me. I heard it loud and clear in every word you said, how much you care about my son and how hard you tried to find him. That was an awful day, and you did the best you could. There’s not a bone in my body that blames you for any of that, Evan.”

The words bring a new wave of tears to Buck’s eyes because Eddie is really forgiving him. And while it’s going to take a while for Buck to believe those words as much as Eddie seems to believe in them, it’s easier now when Buck knows that Eddie knows the whole story and still thinks Buck is worthy of forgiveness.

“There aren’t many people I trust with my son,” Eddie says. “But you are definitely one of them.”

Eddie pulls him to a hug after that, and Buck tries to breathe deep and stop crying. His emotions feel like a mess, in part because he hasn’t been sleeping well, and in part because this conversation has been a lot.

“I was so scared,” he says eventually when he has managed to calm down his tears. “I was scared for Christopher, not knowing if he was safe and if he was, how afraid he would be to be alone.”

Eddie holds him tighter at the admission and Buck knows his heart must hurt to imagine his son in that situation.

“Everything was fine,” Eddie reminds him, reminds them both. “He was safe and a kind lady kept him company. Christopher has only told me good things about her. Apparently she sang the same song to him his abuela sings to him sometimes. The only thing he was worried about was you.”

Buck’s breath shakes on the way out.

“I was terrified of seeing you,” Buck admits, because apparently his mind has decided to come clean of everything now that he started. “I couldn’t face you knowing that I had let you down.”

“Buck,” Eddie says immediately. “You didn’t let me down. You can’t predict natural disasters.”

“I know,” Buck says and finally pulls away from the hug. “But that’s how I felt.” Then, after a short break. “That’s how I still feel.”

Because even though Eddie knows now and still chooses to forgive him, things aren’t miraculously good. They are better, and there are no words Buck can use to describe how much it means that Eddie is willing to forgive him even after knowing the whole story, but it will take time until Buck can fully forgive himself, if he ever will.

“Well,” Eddie says, and smiles for the first time since opening the door to Buck earlier. “I guess I just have to keep reminding you then.”

Buck likes that thought, in no small part because it means that Eddie and Christopher aren’t going anywhere.

“You good?” Eddie asks then, his voice serious again. Come to think of it, this is probably the longest serious conversation they’ve ever had and despite knowing that Eddie is uncomfortable with them, Buck has to admit that he’s also pretty good at them.

“I will be,” Buck says with a small smile, and he really believes his words.

“Good,” Eddie says. “You’re stuck with us now, Buckley. We’re not letting you go.”

Buck files that away to be thought about later, when he’s not emotionally drained and when he has the time to take that sentence and study it and wonder if it means the same to Eddie as it means to Buck.

But the time for that is later.

“You need help?” Buck asks nodding towards the pile of laundry on the table.

“I’m not saying no to that,” Eddie laughs and throws Buck a shirt from the pile.

Christopher’s yellow shirt.

Buck is pretty sure it wasn’t intentional, judging by the way Eddie tenses as he sees Buck catch the shirt. It looks like Eddie is going to either apologise or lean over to take the shirt back, but Buck unfolds the shirt from the ball it was bunched into and lays it against his legs.

When he starts to fold, Buck breathes in deep and focuses on here and now.  

Eddie squeezes his shoulder briefly in silent support but doesn’t say anything, and Buck is grateful. There has been enough heavy talk to last them a lifetime, and now Buck is more than happy to just fold laundry with Eddie while a sitcom plays in the background.

Buck feels calm for the first time in weeks.

[halo-jpeg]

Bearable | A Reddie Fanfiction

Read it from the beginning

Chapter 1

"Bill, why? Why would you say yes to that party? We don't know him! What if he's some serial killer? What if he tries to get us to do drugs? What if he kills us or lives in a dumpster or something?" Eddie is erratic, his drink still in his hand. They were hardly off the block of the little cafe known as Portland Authentic. Eddie hadn't been too fond of the guy behind the counter, mostly because he had written 'Eds' on his coffee cup. "I mean- we only just got to Portland and you're already going to get us killed or something!"

"Eddie, it'll be fine," Stan is the one to cut in with reassurance, taking a sip from his own cup and somehow not flinching at the taste of the straight caffeine, "Yeah, he was a little energetic but he didn't seem malicious. I think it'll be a good opportunity to get to know some new people." Eddie opened his mouth to speak, but Bill beat him to it, and no one had the disrespect to talk over Bill. That was just... off limits, so Eddie shut his mouth again and tried not to grimace.

"Buh-buh-besides," He started, one hand in the pocket of his jeans, the other soaking up the warmth of his cinnamon cappuccino, "It'll be guh-good to get out and see what kind of people Portland has to offer." With that, the discussion was closed, and Eddie let it drop with just a sigh, trying to shake away the lingering annoyance clinging to his mind. There were too many good things about Portland to worry about the bad things- in just a few days he would be working towards his dream as a doctor- he had always wanted to be a doctor. When he was younger, he had wanted his career to be within the health arena for the sake of reassuring his mother that he could take care of himself without being stuck behind a desk- now, though, he wanted to become a doctor to prove his mother wrong, to learn all sorts of things that would help him confirm that he wasn't sick, and had never been sick like Sonia Kaspbrak had said he was.

The rest of the walk back home was near silent, consisting of craned necks and obvious gawking- Portland really was gorgeous, and so different from Derry. Rather than the tiny, modest homes Eddie and his friends grew up knowing, almost everything in the downtown area was some form of 19th century architecture or something alike- each building consisted of warm tones, arched windows, grand streetlamps with pots of colourful flowers. Eddie can't even imagine what it must look like in the daylight.

"Oh, here's my work," Stan said, seeming not to have realized what street they were wandering down. The three halted outside of a small flower shop, Roses on Deane, and approached the large, open windows in the front. The lights were out inside, obviously, but it was still possible to make out the shapes of many many bouquets. Stan had managed to score a job a few months back thanks to a cousin who had a friend who owned the place, and though Stan never considered himself a huge fan of flowers, Eddie could see how the place would fit him. At least one of them had a job- Eddie shudders to think that there is yet another huge thing he needs to get done this weekend. If he doesn't have a job by next weekend then he won't be able to pitch in to help with rent. Bill, who had been working at the library back home, had been transferred here too, so he was also getting payed bi-weekly. Eddie was alone in his unemployment, but that was okay. He was smart, and efficient, and he would get a job sooner or later somewhere.

"When do you start?" He asked, finally bringing his rapidly-cooling drink up to his lips. He braced himself for a horrid taste, taking a slow, tentative sip, and almost letting a sound of approval slip past his lips. It didn't... It didn't taste horrible. Peppermint was okay, in his opinion, and it balanced out the bitterness of the coffee just right.

"Tuesday at 5:00," Stan took one last glance through the window, smiling serenely and turning to continue on to their new apartment. Again, the three fell into silence, calm and comfortable. They walked another three blocks before spotting their building, and Bill was the one to pull out an access card to scan at the door. Their bags were already up in their house, and Eddie had even made a few comments on how he appreciated the security. Electronic locks were unheard of to Eddie until today, and he was pleased. Now, he was too exhausted to be pleased. His coffee had him buzzing, and he would force himself to stay awake until his suitcase was unpacked, but he couldn't wait to curl up in his new bed, away from his hometown for the first time in years.

"We'll have to go grocery shopping tuh-tomorrow," Bill hummed half to himself as he stepped into the elevator, clicking the button labeled with a '2'. "We won't have any fuh-fuh-food. I'll buy us breakfast in the morning."

"Thanks, Bill," Stan smiles, "We can make a meal plan, budget things out. Just to make sure we can always make rent." Eddie nodded along, and took another long sip of the minty-bitter drink in his hand.

"We should go look at the campus. I want to find out where my classes are, maybe." Eddie found himself rocking back and forth on his heels, watching the little glowing number above the elevator buttons blink from 'G' to '1' to, at last, '2'. With a ding, the doors slid open, and a dim hallway was presented to them, the lights on low now that it was just about 10:00 pm.

"I want to go see Back Cove Park at some point. The bird watching is great. They have egrets sometimes, and other birds I haven't seen yet. I always go there when I visit- it's like tradition." Stifling a yawn (not because of the bird talk- Eddie was just tired) Eddie nodded his head. In all honesty, a nature walk sounded nice. Already, he was missing the Barrens, the poor dam he remembers building with Bill ages and ages ago. "It's right on the water, so we can go fishing too, or swimming if you guys wanted to. It isn't always as warm as it is tonight, and it's only getting colder, but..." Stan shrugs. They arrive at their apartment door, number 29, and yet again Bill is the one to pull out his key and stick it into the lock, giving it a twist and pushing the door wide open. Eddie steps inside first, flicking on the light and taking in the sight of his new apartment.

The door opened up into a short hallway. To his direct right there was a door leading to a small closet. A little ways ahead, the hallway broke both left and right, the left way leading to the kitchen and living room along with the doors to the balcony and Bill's room- in turn, the right way led to the main bathroom and the two other bedrooms reserved for Eddie and Stan.

"Wuh-well, I guess this is goodnight," Bill says, shutting the door behind him and kicking off his shoes, "We all have a l-lot of unpacking to do, I'm sh-sure." Both Stan and Eddie nod in near-perfect unison.

"Goodnight, you guys. Enjoy your first sleep in our new house." Stan speaks with a grin, staring at both Eddie and Bill with that intense hazel gaze that seems to communicate the intense reality of the situation. The three men had made it out of their childhood town, and now they were living on their own. They really weren't children anymore. Along with that look in Stan's eyes came a heavy feeling of bittersweetness- Derry was gone, now, and with it, Eddie's childhood. He smiled at his two best friends, and then turned down the hallway to greet his room.

-----

"Alright, that's everything," Ben says as the doors to the cafe swing shut and he locks them tight.

"Another job well done, boy! Another fantastic job, I'd say!" Richie throws one arm over Ben's shoulders, and then the other pulls in Bev by the arm. Crushing his two buddies in a double side-hug, he speaks in his almost-perfected MovieTone Newsreel Announcer Voice, disturbing the silence of the dark Portland streets, "You're both quite the caffeine-mixin' maestros, eh? You'll do great things for this world, great things!"

"Beep-beep, Richie. I'm exhausted." Beverly was smiling, sure, but Richie really could tell that she was done with today. He let both she and Ben go, toning down his behavior and pulling out a pack of cigarettes, offering one to each along with his lighter. Ben declined as politely as possible, so Richie and Bev were left to smoke without him.

"You'll get those beers for me, won't you?" Richie asks, taking a drag and relishing in the way the smoke filled his lungs. He should probably quit sooner or later, huh? Maybe one day. "I've got the cash back home. I'll give it to you and you can just go buy whatever you want. Party booze of your choice." Ben let out a chuckle, waving a hand in front of his face to show his dislike of the cigarette smoke. Richie mumbled something akin to an apology.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll get it. And don't worry about paying me back, I'll be drinking it too." Richie beamed. With a light punch to the shoulder, he turned his attention to Bev, ready to play a little bit of Cupid.

"You're coming too, right Bevvie?" He asked the question as if it were nothing, oh-so subtly bumping Ben with his elbow. Beverly shrugged.

"Probably. It's basically a sin to miss out on an infamous Tozier party, isn't it?" She placed the cigarette against her lips, and puffed out smoke right after. "What else is happening other than drinking too much and getting the Police called on us for being too loud?" Richie couldn't help but snicker at that. The Police had, on numerous occasions, been called on him for playing his music at ungodly levels, but, I mean, come on, he has fantastic taste and the world needs to know it.

"Who knows, maybe some pin the tail on the donkey? Musical chairs?" Ben and Beverly both let out a snort, the redhead spinning to face Richie with suddenly bright eyes.

"Please," She said with a wide, bright smile, "I would pay to see you get annihilated by Ben."

"Excuse me, Miss Marsh, but I pride myself on being a musical chairs master! I was unbeatable in my fifth grade class!" Placing a feign-offended hand on his chest, Richie guffawed, upturning his nose in mock disgust. Beverly was laughing now, a light and cheery sound almost like the jingling of the bell in the cafe but a little less annoying. The bell also didn't make Ben's face light up, and he didn't want to hear the bell forever.

"Probably because you were built like string cheese, Richie- No offense, of course." Beverly only laughed harder at Ben's quip, and yeah, Richie admits that it was pretty good and about 99% true.

"The best damn string cheese you've ever tasted, Haystack," Richie shot his friend a wink, lifting one foot and crushing his cigarette out on the sole of his shoe, "Now, my dearests, I must depart- nice work we did today, you two!" Richie flicked the butt away, speaking over his shoulder as he set off in the direction of home. "I'll see you both at my party!" He spins on his heel, waving Ben and Bev off with one last peace sign before continuing on into the darkness. Richie hummed a little tune to himself, a pep in his step despite his light tiredness. Oh, how he wanted to get home- the idea of cracking open a soda and sitting in front of the TV sounded pretty damn great right about now. For a Friday night the world was surprisingly quiet- the same wouldn't be said about tomorrow. Toziers were born to party. Richie's dad had thrown some ragers in his teenage days, and so had his mom- now, it was his turn to take on the family name and keep that legacy going. Other than beer he probably needed some snacks, chips or cookies or as Ben had so wonderfully suggested string cheese because who doesn't like string cheese? He made a mental note to go grocery shopping tomorrow and hoped that he didn't forget it.

Richie's apartment came into view, a pretty little six floor building made of a nice red brick. He lived on the top floor and his neighbors probably hated him for reasons that should be obvious enough but he'd yet to be kicked out which meant he still had some boundaries to push. He'd been brewing up a new party playlist for a few days now and he made yet another mental note to throw on 'Dancing Queen'. Richie's humming transformed into whistling as he pulled open the door to his building, waving to the late-night receptionist, a kind young lady who hated his guts and probably thought he was flirting with her all the time when he really didn't even swing that way.

"Good evening, m'lady," He said with a goofy, lopsided grin, earning a scowl over the top of a home-deco magazine, "Quite the swell night it is," He didn't linger long, pressing the call button for the elevator and stepping inside. He tapped '6' and waited, his spirits high, excited for tomorrow. He liked getting ready for parties. He liked the decorations he always put up, the arrangement of the snacks that he put too much thought into, and the anticipation of being the host because that always meant most eyes were on him. Up up up the elevator went, and let out a happy little ding as the doors peeled back open and he went right to his door. Richie pulled out his keys, jamming them into the doorknob and pushing the door open to reveal the space inside. "Honey, I'm home!" He called out the words, arms out at his side in a motion of grandeur. Of course, there was no response, and he kicked the door shut with his heel. Richie tossed his keys onto the little table by the door, toeing off each shoe in turn and leaving them discarded in the middle of the entryway.

"Hey there, babes," His first stop was the fish tank on the kitchen counter, packed with swimming little neon tetra and angelfish and Richie's prized bala shark he named Bella- creative, he knows- to sprinkle in some food. The little jar was just beside the aquarium, and he popped off the lid, shaking it above the open water and watching his little pals swim forth for their dinner. With his lasting grin, Richie let out a chuckle, his heart swelling at the sight of his aquatic children as he set the food back on the counter and took a step away. His own stomach let out a growl, and he realized for the first time that he hasn't eaten since after his last class, way back at 3:00. Popping open his fridge, Richie scanned it's contents- yep, he really needed to go get food tomorrow. There was next to nothing. He settled half-reluctantly on some month-old instant ramen and cooked it up with ease. Richie hadn't had instant ramen in ages, but there was a good amount of nostalgia contained within the simple dish. It had carried him through high school one plastic cup at a time, helping him fight through long nights of studying and even a nasty breakup.

The microwave let out three beeps, calling out 'Hey! I'm done, come eat me!' with each and every one. Richie ate it as he hastily cleaned up the kitchen, throwing dishes in the dishwasher and even taking the time to watch a casserole dish by hand, putting on his playlist but keeping the speakers on a low volume for the sake of his neighbors. No more than 15 minutes passed and then he was done, finally allowing himself to do what he's been anticipating all day. With a Pepsi in hand, he made the couch his home, curling up in a knitted blanket and tuning into 'Friends'. As he watched, one eye always on the TV, he snatched the black nail polish from it's spot on the coffee table and began to paint it over the chipped remnants of what was already there. At some point, after they'd dried, he ended up falling asleep on the sofa.

[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

Superhero part three

Summary: I swear this is the last time I ask for something, but could you make one where Richie protects Freddy from bullies? Please?

A/N: I hope you enjoy anon! Let me know what you think. 

Warnings: this is about bullying so please don’t read if that triggers you! 

At first, the rumors aren’t so bad. Freddy is aware of them, it’s hard not to take them in when his classmates don’t bother waiting to start gossiping until he’s out of ear shot, but he can deal with that.

He convinces himself that the whispers behind his back are about more than his physical disabilities. That they reference how cool his shirt looked or something, but Freddy knows that’s not the case. Everybody who sees him limp but can only focus on his disability, it’s like that’s the only part of him that matters. His mom shared that sentiment along with the rest of the world, but prior to attending school -he wasn’t allowed to at first, his mom said he was too fragile and that he may trip and injure his leg further-, Freddy held out hope the rest of the world would indicate his mother wrong.

It didn’t, but Freddy was still happy to be out of the house, so he refused to tell anyone near him about the whispers that follows him like a bad scent. It’ll go away some day, he told himself as he laid in bed, equal parts eager to go to school and learn, and disheartened about the tattles he’ll have to endure.

He was proven wrong again. Instead of evolving past the childish glee he invoked, the bullies became braver, more outspoken about how much they enjoyed to see Freddy suffer. The careless whispers were barely there anymore, but they shuffled to the background as violent offences now became Freddy’s primary concern.

On the regular, his crutches would get kicked down from under him, so that Freddy, with no other way to balance himself, stumbles to the floor. Sometimes, that was enough torment for the day, and they would walk away satisfied, other times, the would proceed to punch him again, or wait until he was almost scrambled back up before again sending him flying to the ground.

Freddy had a lot more issues ignoring that sort of bullying. He never tells anyone still, he’s not a little kid that needs his dad to come rescue him, and either way, the only thing he would gain from that is more attraction from his bullies.

He has a new routine now, one where he hides during school breaks and avoids being the laughing stock as much as he can.

His dad always drops him off at school at precisely 8 am, and comes to pick him straight after school. Freddy can’t walk all the way home, nor can he bike, not with the state of his leg, and riding a buss without a guaranteed sitting spot isn’t a stable option either. That’s all fine by Freddy, taking the buss would mean more time for his bullies to go after him.

As soon as he gets out of the car, he waits until his dad has turned a corner, and then walks around to the back entrance. By the entrance, there is a second door that leads to a supply closet no one barely uses. The school has pretty much abandoned it, and that’s why it’s the prefer place for Freddy to spend his breaks in.

Don’t get him, he does try to socialize, in the five minutes before class starts, but everyone finds him both piteous, and a huge nerd -Freddy can’t help that he’s really into superhero’s-, so everyone ignores him.

It’s not the glamours life he’d imagined himself living, but it’s better than being couped up inside of the house all day.

After the final bell of the day rings, he’ll rush to get out before anyone can stop him, and jumps in the car which Eddie is driving. Eddie has never witnessed any bullying, but he’s never been late either. Not until today.

Under normal circumstances, his dad would be awaiting him in the car at the parking lot, standing ready for when school ends. Today, Eddie’s black SUV is nowhere to be seen. Freddy’s eyes float across the parking lot three times, hoping every time that he just somehow missed him, but he ends up empty handed.

‘Shit’, he curses, knowing full well that that is not going to have a happy ending for him. He tries to back out and walk into school quickly, but before he can, his arm is gripped tightly, while another set of hands rips his crutch from him. Freddy flails you grab it again, needing it o balance himself, but it’s useless, he watches in helplessly and in shame as his crutch goes flying over the side walk.

There are other people outside too, but they don’t pay attention. Or maybe they do, but they don’t have the gal to speak up.

Trent, his number one bully and the only one offering him ‘support’ right now, begins to sway them dangerously.

‘Stop’, Freddy protests, but his pleas are ignored. Trent and his posse laugh at him, and push him to the ground.

Freddy angles himself so that he falls onto the grass instead of the concrete, to safe himself from bruises, but now he has green stains on his pants that he knows his dad will question. It’s the lesser of two evils.

‘Oops- sorry about that Fred, I though you would be able to fly, you know with that superpower you so love’

Freddy understands he’s being bated, but physically, he’s not match to Trent or his other bullies - not only because of his leg, but also because they are two years older than him and taller-, so he can only defend himself with words.

‘My favorite superpower is Invisibility, but I’m guessing yours is stupidity?’

Trent’s smirk falters, and he punishes the comment by pretending to stomp on Freddy’s leg. He stops last minute, but Freddy flinches in fear regardless.

‘Oh’, Trent coos, fist bumping his friend as they smirk. ‘What’s wrong little Freddy’, he starts talking in a baby voice, ‘can’t you get up?’

‘Your voices really suck,’ a voice coming from the opposite side reproaches. It only takes a second for Freddy to identify who the voice belongs too, it being so distinct he doesn’t need to conform it with his eyes. It’s Richie, who for some reason is picking him up instead of his dad.

That’s not too bad, Freddy resigns. He figures Richie is going to chase them off but will let the issue rest, and maybe with some tinkering Freddy can avoid Richie telling his dad about it all together.

Trent, unbothered by the unexpected witness to his behavior, snorts and flips Richie the bird.

‘Why don’t you move along old man? There’s nothing to see here.’

Freddy scrambles to get back up, seizing his opportunity to escape his doom, but one of Trent’s friends forces him back down. Freddy can’t bring anything against the gravity force, and lands on his back again. ‘Oof’, he breathes, winded.  

Richie’s eyes flash with something Freddy has never seen before. Richie is the equivalent of a man child; goofy and energetic – sometimes-, and friendly to every person he meets. The glint of pure anger that is now flickering in his eyes is something Freddy would have never associated with him ever before. He looks like a different man.

‘Get the fuck away from him.’  

Trent wants to laugh again, the corners of his mouth already quirking up in a sneer, but then his demeaner changes and he stops. ‘Wait, are you Trashmouth fucking Tozier?’

‘I’ll say it one more time, step away from him.’ Richie’s voice is calm, serious, cool and collected, and Freddy would be a little bit frightened if that was directed at him.

‘Hey man we were just having some fun. No need for such a big fuss.’

‘Yeah I’m sure it’s really funny for you jerks. You know what I find funny? Calling all your parents and letting them know what their kids have been up too lately. You know what else I find hilarious? Getting some assholes expelled after I threaten the principal with bad publicity. Do you find that funny?’

He could technically do that, Freddy reasons. Richie has a lot more influence now after his breakdown and miraculous comeback, such as appearing on SNL and doing a lot of interviews. He could, but Freddy is sure he would never go that far.

‘Fine, whatever. This nerd isn’t even worth it.’

Trent and his friends walk off fast, their dignity only intact because no one else was their to see them get on their asses by a forty year old man. It could be Freddy’s imagination, but he’s pretty sure he saw Trent blush in shame.

Freddy reaches for his crutch, and Richie rushes to bring it over and help him get into a standing position. 

‘Little shits’, he mutters under his breath. 

‘Ow, dude. You shouldn’t have done that, now I’m really in for it next week,’ Freddy complains as he watches the group march away. Richie pulls him in for a sideways hug, and Freddy forgets what he was so apprehensive about. During the hug, he’s just happy Richie was there for him, again.

‘They can try’, Richie accepts, but the way he protectively glares when Trent glances back proves he’s not going to let that slide.

‘Are you gonna tell my dad about this?’

‘I have to Freds, he’s your dad.’ Richie tells him honestly, and begins leading the two of them to his car.  He drove his red sports car, notable to everyone. ‘But’, Richie says amicable, ‘I’ll compromise. What do you say to a good old fashioned round of bragging. I’ll drive you to school on Monday?’

Freddy grins elated. He couldn’t be happier with the pick his dad chose.