#also. somewhat depressing !
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Love trio real! It ALL mutual feelings confirmed
#Alice finally fucking said it omg OMG#Finally woohoo#Love trio#alice asmodeus#clarazz#iruma suzuki#Iruma had to take the back seat this arc cuz he added fuel to the fire is so funny#Alice never growing up without being serious and calling Clara a dumbass jfc. grow up! /Pos#Look at the parallels to sully delkira and poro#oh that sounds depressing give sully and poro relationship now#Also iruma deportation arc is gonna absolutely become a thing n it gonna be heartbreaking#Makes me remember a rlly old fic I think where iruma dies and Clara cope somewhat well but Alice didn't#Anyways! both r insane n will track iruma down lmao#Mairuma#mairimashita! iruma kun#M!ik
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the newly vassaled gerudo king is inexplicably handed a baby
#tloz#legend of zelda#ocarina of time#oot#zelda#ganondorf#i actually think he would’ve been a teenager or so around the time zelda was born but. this is just for sillies so#and no idea when he actually swore fealty to the king. i actually feel like it might’ve been a bit before the events of the game#in my head it’s like. the war just ended and impa hasn’t been assigned as zelda’s attendent yet#and newborn baby zelda is somewhat of an afterthought atm and whoever was holding her before suddenly had urgent business to take care of#and ganondorf is like the most visible person in the vicinity and also everyone is treating him like shit because he Just Lost The War#and no one takes him seriously anymore despite Everything so it’s like haha oh ok so i’m just demoted to Giant Babysitter huh#for the next 5-10 minutes or so. i’m not apoplectic or anything rn#already having one of the most humiliating depressing weeks of my entire life what’s one more humiliating thing#meanwhile baby zelda is like *has no object permanence or sense of fear yet* Holy Shit Its Boar From My Visions
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One thing I find very interesting, as a learner of German, is Isolde's usage of du when speaking to Kakania. In German, there are three main second person pronouns: du, ihr and Sie. The first two are mainly used in informal and casual settings or when talking to people you're close with (with du being singular and ihr being plural sorta similar to english's y'all) while Sie is used in more formal situations (or situations which require some form of formality) such as talking to strangers, customer service or when you're talking to a doctor/patient. Kakania abides by this and uses Sie when talking to Isolde (such as in her speech at the end of chapter 6) but interestingly, Isolde doesn't reciprocate this and instead uses du when conversing with Kakania in German.
This is super fascinating to me because it implies different levels of closeness within their relationship. Isolde's usage of du implies a level of closeness and intimacy to Kakania as Isolde herself saw Kakania as a close friend (most likely due to the fact that Kakania was once of the few people in Vienna who actually sympathized with her and saw her as a human being) but Kakania's siezen suggests a certain level of estrangement or distance between her and Isolde. Of course. this could just be her maintaining her professionalism as doctors normally use Sie when talking to patients but with how things turned out after chapters 6 and 7, I'd like to think this goes deeper than just formality standards.
#n talks about shit#reverse 1999#isolde#kakania#this is especially depressing when you consider the fact that kakania most likely can't work as a psychiatrist anymore#due to her severe trauma and somewhat outdated treatment methods#in a normal situation she most likely wouldn't have to use Sie with Isolde anymore#but ironically the very same events which lead to that were ones that grew the distance between her and isolde even further#estranging them permanently#leading them unable to interact with each other ever again out of a need for personal safety#the siezen will thus always remain a constant for kakania just like her estrangement with isolde#perhaps one day she'll be able to duzen isolde but fate (bluepoch) is a cruel mistress#if there are any other german r99 speakers then do correct me if i'm wrong because my german isn't that good#i also apologize for any mischaracterization i may have made in this post or the tags#so if there are any isokania brainrot havers out there then feel free to correct me because it's been a while since i've seen chapter 6#might delete idk
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kitty and merthur parallels bc i'm sad pt.1 (beware of spoilers!)
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#guys fear not although merthur will (like kitty) spend a long time apart#they will meet again and declare their love as true#but yeah this was hella long and i still have a part 2 coming (not even kidding right now) i'm sorry if that's annoying :(#but also there were just SO many amazing parallels and i really wanted to make a master post and include as many as i could#i hope this first part was pretty fun to read (and not too depressing although we know it probably was)#this actually took me ages to make so i hope u enjoyed it at least somewhat... *shy*#part 2 will be coming tomorrow bc i dont want my blog to just be one big thread rn :'))#BUT if u (like me) miss kitty like mad then PLEASE watch bbc's merlin and bask in all the similarities between these two iconic couples#kit herondale#ty blackthorn#kit x ty#kitty#arthur pendragon#merlin#arthur x merlin#merthur#the dark artifices#the wicked powers#merlin bbc#tda#twp#tsc
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Come back home when you have some sense
You can throw your life away just not at my expense
You’re not the son I raised

#jhariah#this one just rawrrfrrr#and then uh another line thats like ‘tell me did you raise a man?’#nice#im just listening to the new album to cope with nasty sickness and feeling out of it#god this album is really good it has every emotion in there like this song for example just the part where they scream the chorus its like#hnnnghhh#hm some other moments from the album im liking a lot uhhh i love re: concerns a lot#the part where hes like reading off the complaints and then the part where hes just screaming and its like BAM BAM BAM BAAAM#sasuke is so good and the bit at the end where its like ‘i just want you to know im so so...’#like hes gonna say sorry but cant seem to say the word for whatever reason and i know nothing about sasuke#but i has to imagine the fan girlies are eating gravel over that one lol it gets me#and theres just that like spooky echoing afterwards#the intro to fire4fun goes SOOOOOOOO hard i was losing my shit its awesome#the entirety of trust ceremony is giving me big feelings but specifically that part towards the end where its all quiet and you hear#its like whistling i think? like a marching band is coming in maybe#but it also kinda sounds like nature too and idk i like got a little bit um magical at that part cuz i was driving down a big hill#and it had been raining but there was a clearing in the clouds and the sun was bright and like at this particular hill#you can just see everything like the land stretches for miles theres trees hills the river farms all that shit#and idk with the extreme stress and depression ive been feeling its hard to have these moments where life seems worth it#and its hard to really feel anything anymore or to feel in the moment but idk i was just going down that hill seeing everything and it was#very majestic so yeah that song is definitely gonna have the same effect as pin eye for me#which i must mention pin eye again its still OOOOGHH very good it came at a pretty good time for me#yeah basically this album is uhhhh whats keeping me somewhat grounded rn i recommend 👍
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do you have any thoughts on girl marc? and specifically if her being a girl would have made her do certain things differently bc (presumably) she would have faced a lot of shit in the other classes due to being a woman
every thought I have is like that could be true but also the complete opposite, the only thing I'm confident in is that she would be earth shatteringly hot. like I'm talking fuuuucking crazy gorgeous
there's that picture of marc on the podium in aragon in 2019? girl marc would have killed people
see i have a little trouble with getting into the nitty gritty ‘how would x rider fare as a woman’ of it all because. well there are no women in the grid. and i don’t think that’s because generationally talented motogp superstars is a trait defined by being a cis guy. so if we are doing the gender swap i’m gonna have to like. pantomime these guys experiencing sexism which is an interesting cognitive dissonance to inhabit. like i’m not against a good old horny time (and i think a lot of the time it’s women who imagine these scenarios as a mechanism to like. fill a void that exists in the sport in the first place. would we write as many gender swaps like this if there WERE simply women in the premiere class ??) but it is something i think about, so i’m gonna start there. just as a lil food for thought. interesting sociological phenomenon in sports fandom that i have some complex feelings about. not bad not great.
that all being SAID. wheee fun time. um marc as girl. marc. winning above everything but image always at least a consideration. loves to be hot isn’t the MOST concerned with entirely fitting in a gender box about it as he’s gotten older though he’s still pretty conforming. hmm. i think marc starts her career like long hair straightened compulsively smiling at everybody no matter how sexist they get and. the same sort of murderously crazy on the race track.
i ALSO think. marc’s racing behavior has already earned him a significant amount of haters worldwide even BEFORE sepang-gate and he is a handsome white man. uh oh ! like i think this marc learns a lil earlier a lil harder the lesson that you cannot always care what everyone thinks of you even when it rips you up inside and is in fact significantly traumatic. like people were being WILDLY homophobic to marc in 2015 i cannot imagine how bad it would be for him if he was a girl. but uhhhh all this to say i think she gets a sexy undercut post sepang (it was 2015/16. the only option.) and stops straightening her hair. i also think she hardens up a little more. even less friends even more alex. instagram game would be an absolute MINEFIELD bc it’s one thing to post your own slut back and hole out 9000x as a man it is ANOTHERRRR to do it as a public figure who is a WOMAN. especially coupled with that quote from marc when he was younger about how he didn’t like it when people told him to look sexy in pictures (before he realized he could control that himself on his insta shdhgdgs). in that vein. marc’s catastrophic control issues also interesting. perception wise. good lord. controversial queen
it’s also like. what if you’re the chosen one but aren’t. because he wouldn’t be if he were a girl. would her family pin their financial future on teen marc? would they prioritize alex instead? would marc have to take a different route to the premiere class? would she be the first option for casey stoner’s bike? how much worse would the sepang fallout be? what would marc do to keep winning? keep competing? would it be enough ? like there’s a LOT.
#gender ends also interesting because you have to make a series of choices about what about a person would be changed#solely on how they are socialized. idk like it’s a fic genre that results from a lot of anxieties people have about sexism ESP in sports rp#callie speaks#asks#marc marquez#also. somewhat depressing !#mgp
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I hope this isn’t a weird question and I’m asking like,,, very nicely because I’m just curious because you often discuss novels but why do you like American Psycho? Like just cuz it’s a horror or smth? Your other recommendations were interesting so I was wondering what your thoughts are
Not weird at all, but sorry the English major in me is gonna pop the hell out and sorry this will be boring and long because I have so many feelings on the book and the movie and the other Ellis novels in general and I think some literary theory being applied to it really takes it beyond its shallow surface viewing of “guy who kills people”.
I will try to keep this short somewhat and I will try to avoid getting graphic and spoilery but beyond that, I do wanna start off with as a WOC in America I’ve always loved stories that tackle the American condition and ideology. It’s easy to write it off sometimes- what’s the difference if X story is in England for example and while yes that can be true, I feel most of the novels I hold important to me (Ellis, Toni Morrison, etc.) is a uniquely American thing. It’s so rooted in American culture and societal values it just personally touches me as a woc who has immigrant parents.
Now tying it back into the last paragraph, American Psycho is at its core a satire, and the novel is especially important for its place during Reagan’s presidency (and honestly a lot of the problems in the novel ARE traced back to Reagan’s policies and Reaganomics), presumably before Black Monday- so this is PEAK Reagan era American consumerist before what is going to be the worst economic crash in the world since the Great Depression.
Patrick is a symptom of the larger problem Ellis tackles- Yuppie culture and American consumption as well as identity politics. I’ve seen the theories of Patrick being a repressed gay man and I thought similarly along with coinciding with Ellis being a gay man who said that Patrick was something of Ellis’s own thoughts at the time. Patrick’s rage I kinda related to in a way (and not in Gahhhhhh I’m gonna murder and drug people!!) but as a warped sense of self and self hatred and repression for what you are.
And before you get the idea that means, Oh so Ellis is a fucking weirdo- I mean, maybe- but you have to read deeper into that and it’s that Patrick has no identity. Sure we read about him, but he effectively has no identity or connection to others. He is routinely mistaken for others, reality is a false construct, perhaps he did nothing or perhaps he did everything he said he did. The ways you can examine American Psycho over and over again is soooooo incredible. Whether it’s from a racial, sexual, or cultural lens I like to take a moment because yes the graphic violence is jarring but that is the point. It’s an over the top parody of what is the real issue- identity and culture. Ex: Patrick is a repressed gay man so he actively goes after women to lie/convince himself otherwise, Patrick is a white man with a rich dad so he gets away with it, Patrick is so empty inside he has to turn to substance abuse and cruelty to get any feeling, Patrick is so lost on who he is he is mistaken for XYZ.
The movie does make the satirical aspects more clear because Christian Bale is performing as Patrick in such an exaggerated way that it’s comical and emphasizes how ridiculous this shit is. I also think as time goes on the novel becomes more ‘important’ and very reflective of the world we live in (considering Patrick is such a fan of Trump to the point of idol worship and needing to be consoled by Trumpisms and this was New York in the late 1880s so like even then that was ridiculous) especially with our current situation now it’s a bit of something to reflect on imo.
So yeah! Just a condensed form of what I feel but honestly I feel and think and have thought waayyyyy more about the film and novel and every progressive viewing or reading as I get older always highlights something new to me. Ellis also is an interesting writer to me, can’t say if he’ll be good for you but in American Psycho specifically as an example because they all spend so much time describing outfits and brands, Ellis knew that people would just skip ahead whenever they did so he just started describing wackier shit and the details about for example Patrick taking his clothes to the laundromat it’s so much more thoughtful than you think.
#rambles#book recomendations#book ramblings#American psycho#guys I’m sorry you’re seeing everything about it now but like ???? this damn thing.#the everything. it’s just a worm in my brain and it decided to pop up rn I wanna reread and rewatch it again#also hope you guys don’t mind the rambles I have a degree in English bruv#I wanna discuss literature I wanna be a fucking loser and go nuts on literary theory#and I have nowhere else to do it so OOPS yall get it#anyways Patrick is the worstie to me ever. I hope he dies#sorry this is how yall had to find out the rabbit hole that is my thoughts on American Psycho#also it inspired a bit of my fic American Dreams for Funny Valentine I’m so UAGSHDJDJJFKF#on a more personal note I’m not gonna get too into it because like it’s personal obviously#but the yuppie and corporate/business culture in general is one I despise but it kinda helps me think of myself and my experiences#it’s kind of comforting in a way to have something acknowledging just how fucking empty and banal that existence is#and maybe that’s depressing to say but it’s helped me overcome my troubles somewhat#but yeah!! feel free to always ask about my thoughts on certain works or topics I can always give it my opinion if I can
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out of all the au designs i’ve made so far these guys are probably my favorite here are some doodles




#the amount of trouble i have gone through to ficking post this is abysmal#aquared homestuck au where the midnight crew are the kids and there are some other guys too i think#homestuck#homestuck au#homestuck fankid#homestuck fantroll#diamonds droog#clubs deuce#clover 04#peregrine mendicant#also somewhat doze mention in the second one but that doesn’t count#please ignore how weird the texture looks in the second one the pencil marks were kicking my ass#none of these have any context other than the first one being somewhat before a strife#and the third ones quote implying clover samroc depression#half joking
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I generally have the belief that phil purposely fakes his accent because there's no way some southern boy with a poshlike accent de-rails over 20 years of living in the North THEY MAKE ME SICK!!! 1!!!1!
#dan and phil#phan#also i am back somewhat online depression and my job has me wrecked#dnp#but seriously are you kidding me phil
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I can't believe there are some people who "grow out" of tumblr. like damn, life got so good for u that u don't even have time for social media anymore? ur busy spending time with others, doing activities like reading books and going to events, and generally having such a fulfilling real life that you feel no need to endlessly scroll and post about your miserable life online anymore? damn.... I hope I get there someday too, and I'm glad you managed to live a fulfilling life.
#personal#i love it when i spend a couple days at a friends place and mostly forget my phone exists.#except that other people will still text me during that time and i like straight up cannot focus on text around others#im in my ''missing being in a relationship'' mood#like damn life IS somewhat easier when u have a body double and just. help and support and love and affection. in ur house.#idk why im convinced a relationship would fix me we all know it doesn't work like that but it does help alleviate some things !#i just. aha. feel so deeply isolated and lonely and misunderstood and incapable and exhausted.#i tried going on a date once when i was really depressed. needless to say. it did not go well :)#i rambled about being incapable and dumb for a while ??? like hello????#he also worked at a restaurant and i straight up said i didn't really like food. which is a weird thing for a human to say generally#and even weirder when on a date with someone who's really passionate about food
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Storm Vessel Jay has two modes. I usually refer to them as purple mode and blue mode, but I think this is a better distinction lol
#ninjago#lego ninjago#my art#storm vessel au#jay walker#i got this idea because i was rambling to my bf about storm vessel jay yesterday#and i just started using the terms 'chaotic bisexual' and 'depressed bisexual' to differentiate between the two versions#also somewhat unrelated but last night i realized that the storm vessel au is over a year old now#which is crazy because this au still feels so new to me#time is an illusion and all that i guess lol
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here's a list of malcolm in the middle headcanons i don't personally headcanon but i fuck with so hard:
homosexual malcolm
biromantic asexual/bisexual aromantic malcolm
adhd/audhd malcolm
transmasc malcolm
transfemme malcolm
they/them malcolm
aroace malcolm
dare i say..... dyslexia malcolm
ocd malcolm
college stoner malcolm
more to be added once i think of more. thank you.
#ill do some of reese and francis and maybe dewey but that list wouldnt be too long#for the record. i believe he is intentionally written to be an undiagnosed/implied autistic character.#and my heart believes he is bisexual#actually the last one i do somewhat headcanon#i think he'd smoke weed as often as he'd drink which is very occassionally#anyways. ill add more guarantee#these are mostly mental/sexuality/gender headcanons and not like personality or quirks#OH! i also believe its canon that malcolm has a form of depression/anxiety and i dont even consider that a headcanon.#ok im going to stop...... for now.......#malcolm in the middle#mitm#malcolm wilkerson#headcanon#headcanons
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Spirit animal SQH
#svsss#shang qinghua#but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but#but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee#also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but#I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg#oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left#I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something#or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird#LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm#I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either#I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself#eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up#I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa#man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong#cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk#its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment#with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig#and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down#but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications#and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly#man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk
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atom eve's size in the comics kinda worries me ngl. like how are they going to adapt that?? and how will the fans react? i don't want people to start calling her names and shit but also if they don't make her at least a little chubby i will riot
#as a somewhat chubby girl#seeing that THEEE atom eve was actually a little fat for a while. was great#and also the fact that it happened bc she basically had depression#i genuinely hope they do her well#invincible#atom eve#samantha eve wilkins
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I've been thinking and thinking. Call me a researcher or just a stranger. And something's been gnawing on my mind.
I didn't know Herobrines could reproduce let alone be female. There's an overabundance in males and females are a rarity from my observation. That is such an odd thing. Not to mention that Herobrines don't really- reproduce. Of course with exceptions, but the cases I know do it rather traditionally.
Your mother- (likely a brine all the same - as you describe yourself one too) Your mother produced children by spreading spores of some kind. Some parts of herself I guess. A power to mend into the elements and create another living being in such a way is baffling.
To get to the point and my actual question.
I've been pondering- spreading Herobrine offspring on such a wide scale (as you mentioned you had plenty of siblings) and seemingly not weakening herself if she could do that en mass. Maybe it's less of making more Brines from herself but something more akin to Brine-Spawns. (like vampire-spawns- a weaker kind of vampire sprung from a true one)
With that odd thought- you are the child of a Herobrine, but not a full brine yourself? Do you think that is kinda true?
Brines are such a rarity, your mother releasing tousands of offspring into the world and them being true Brines seems a little unreasonable.
Of course I may be mistaken as every elusive indivitual of a brine works different than the next. Maybe you and your "species" aren't actual brines by many a definition from each their own flaws.
Ah..... I've been talking a lot. What do you think about this whole- thing? Maybe you know more than I do. Probably.
#whoever you are this ask makes my day thanks for being a champ and i hope my answer does it justice!!#mcss#mcaskblog#herobrine#steven#sigma#lore#somewhat ooc?#SORRY FOR NERDING OUT THIS POST PROBABLY MAKES LITTLE SENSE BUT I FEEL SO STRONGLY ABOUT THIS THING#basically I have crazy imagination and i thought of all this lore that i didnt use because it's a little too... nonsensical#also the scope got way too big#and im not that invested to the story to dedicate my time and make a shonen comic outta it#plus Mother is a triggering character and i dont want this blog to get too depressing#so theres a lot of lore setups but no payoffs IM SO SORRY#but i think blog's already p lore biology heavy as it is so this is all yalls gonna get#before it gets even more confusing#Steven is an alien's kid!! congrats!! :D
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Transfemme-ish song I found a bit ago. So beautiful. An english translation was added recently. Thought I'd share for pride month since I couldn't find a post already on tumblr.
It's such a personal sounding song.
In an important note: in the comment of the video Harumaki mentions that while they usually they usually tune Miku Hatsune to sing it was important that they sing it themselves for this 10th anniversary of posting music online.
#i asked a translator friend to snoop on the artist to try and find pronouns. in an interview they said 'a guy that doesn't present as a guy'#so for this post i'm using he/they#transgender#vocaloid#hatsune miku#pride month#in my interpretation of the song I think they are somewhat singing to Miku#in a lot of vocaloid songs miku is treated as an intermediary tool to communicate a feeling through song#but in this case it is the additional using Miku (the instrument) as an inbetween mask for gender as well#that by acting through miku the protag could become a girl... makes me bawl every time#i'm just imagining singing this song to the instrument/program that you've used for 10 years. what 'miku' would start to mean to you..#where also.. miku becomes a muse and the artist themseves#i also think 'loosely positively' was my attempt to tell people the depressing language doesn't stay throughout the song#but i do think the ending of it... is hopeful but also wistful.. more positive than before. but getting there#wasn't sure if to tw for anything.. it was hard for me to put a finger on what exactly the depressing tone at the beginning could be called#Youtube
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