#although I don’t know about the you are Mother through and through part tho

[amemoryofwot]

Anvaere and Moiraine fightinggg let’s goooo

[annymation]

Reimagining the characters in Wish

(Part 1- Asha)

Hey guys! I don’t really know how to start this, but let’s just say that I… Didn’t like how Disney’s 100th anniversary movie turned out, like at all.

But I can tell there was a lot of unexplored potential beneath this story, that in my opinion felt overly simple and bare bones.

But if you love it, that’s awesome, more power to you, I wish I could’ve loved it too. And I don’t want to rewrite it to show I’m “better than the writers at Disney” because I’m definitely not lol, I have no experience in writing, and I’m sure they put a lot of passion into the project and I respect them for that. But this movie inspired me with ideas for a different story that I think is worth telling.

But I won’t start telling it today, instead, I'll start a series of blogs sharing my ideas for changes in the characters and their stories, after I get some feedback I will start posting more of the story itself.

If you’re interested, then come along!

Asha✨

Personality

- Asha is a 18 year old girl, with a passion for drawing and helping those around her, sometimes even worrying more about helping others than helping herself

- She’s like a big sister to her 7 friends, always being the voice of reason and acting responsible, but not in a bossy way, she’s actually very playful with them

- To the people of Rosas tho, she's seen as kind of a weirdo, for you see, she spends almost every time of the day drawing in her sketchbook

- She practices everyday to become a better artist, and the people of Rosas find this to be very peculiar, after all, why would you take so much effort to perfect a talent when you can simply wait to turn 18 and wish for the king to make you an amazing artist?

- Asha doesn’t mind these comments, although they have made her less willing to share her drawings with others that aren’t her 7 friends

- As the story progresses we see Asha flourish from a shy and introverted girl to a brave woman who after discovering a terrifying secret about the kingdom’s rulers, steps in and inspires others to join her and fight an evil sorcerer king and his alchemist wife (yes, I made Amaya an alchemist, more on that on part 2 when I talk about how I’d change Magnifico and Amaya)

- Some Disney characters that share similarities with her personality wise are: Belle, Tiana, Pocahontas and Esmeralda

Main Traits:

Calm and mature

Determined

Passionate about her interests (drawing, dancing, philosophy and stars)

Helpful and generous

Perceptive and always questioning things around her that no one pays attention to (like why do all the artists only paint the King and Queen?)

Playful

Compassionate

Backstory

Oooh boy I gave this poor girl so much angst, okay let’s go

Asha grew up with her grandfather, her parents both died in a fire when she was just a baby

(this isn’t just to fit the “haha Disney princess has no parents” cliche, there’s plot relevance in this “mysterious fire” that I’ll talk about later)

Growing up with her grandpa, he’d always support her dream to be an artist, like her mother, who was an art teacher

Her mother not only drew really well, but she also was able to create the illusion that her drawings could move, by flipping through the pages of her sketch books

In other words, her mom was an animator

Asha saw this technic her mom used as a form of magic, so she would often tell her grandpa she wanted to “Do magic just like my mom”

Her father was a philosopher (this was established in the actual movie but never explored haha whyyyy), who taught people that working hard to achieve your dreams is not only rewarding, but also essential, because it’s part of the human nature to persevere and fight for what we believe, even if we fail, even if it’s hard, just keep moving forward.

This philosophy may sound very “umm duh” for me and you since we all know and hear everywhere nothing in life comes for free… But that’s not the case in Rosas

In this rewrite the kingdom wasn’t created by Magnifico, but rather the kingdom has existed for many generations, being ruled by different kings before Magnifico who also granted wishes… but I’m getting ahead of myself.

The point is that the culture of just asking the king to give you or make you whatever you want to be has been in this kingdom’s culture since forever, so when Asha’s dad comes out saying “hey! Maybe we should stop just relying on the king to make our dreams come true, right?” He’s actually being quite a revolutionary… and sharing a very dangerous belief to other people…

At this point you might suspect what caused that “mysterious fire”

So, back to Asha, growing up with her grandpa, they shared a lot of happy memories together. Reading her father's books and her mother's art books helped Asha connect with them even tho she never had them in her life.

But as her grandfather grew older, he became senile.

Asha went from being taken care of by her grandpa to being the one who took care of him when she was still around 13 years old, and when she turned 15 her grandfather passed away of old age

Asha went on to live with her best friend Dahlia, the two became like sisters.

Though she managed to move on from the loss of her grandfather, she could never shake the feeling that he died without getting his wish granted... But she had no way to prove that, it was just a feeling

The wish granting system works different in my rewrite, instead of there being a public wish granting ceremony once a month, there would only be a public wish TAKING ceremony, that would work just like in the movie, you turn 18, you go give your wish to the king yada yada yada.

But the wish granting part would work like this: Almost every night the king would release the wishes up in the sky, they would float down like balloons to their respective owners while they sleep, and once they woke up in the morning they'd feel that their wishes were granted, for they would wake up changed.

With this method, there's no way of confirming if someone really got their wish granted or not, unless you went to ask the king.

Asha never did ask the king if he granted her grandfather's wish, but her grandfather would sometimes express how he wasn't feeling completely fulfilled in his life, he felt like there was something... missing.

This feeling of hollowness persisted in him until the very end, no matter how hard Asha tried to help her grandfather, she never knew him as his real self, because he gave part of his soul to the king, the most beautiful part of his soul, his wish.

Asha had no proof that her grandfather didn't get his wish granted, only a gut feeling.

But because of this, Asha wasn't that thrilled to give her own wish to king magnifico, knowing there was the possibility of it never being granted.

Not to mention she didn’t even know what to wish for, “I’m just 18 and you guys expect me to already know what’s my heart’s deepest desire? I’m still figuring that out, all I know is that I wanna draw”

Plus she wanted to follow her father's philosophy and achieve her wish on her own, eventually, when she figured out what her wish even was.

Asha never rebelled against the system tho, she wasn't a confrontational person. She just accepted the people of Rosas preferred to rely on the king's magic, but that just wasn't for her.

However, on her 18 birthday, when it was expected of her to give her wish to the king, she simply said she didn't have a wish, and even if she did she wouldn’t want to hand it over, she wanted to make it come true on her own. This lead to an argument with the king, and after a series of events (that I don't have time to summarize here, but you can find out about it on my rewrite) leads to her finding out a terrible truth about her kingdom. And that's how her story begins.

Design

- I’d keep these braid ornaments that Asha had in the concept art

- Since in my rewrite she’s not that invested in the kingdom of Rosas, I’d remove all the Kingdom of Rosas symbols that are present in her design (there are a LOT of them)

- I’d replace these Rosas insignia with more star and constellations themed symbols, to reflect how Asha believes that the stars are connected to people and they can guide us, just like how her father believed.

Final Thoughts

My intentions with these changes were to give Asha a strong emotional hook, and something that makes her feel relatable.

The emotional hook here is how she spent so much of her life taking care of her grandfather that she kinda never had time to worry about her own desires, that alone can be relatable to caregivers of elderly people that watch their grandparents or even their own parents lose themselves as time passes, and end up worrying more about the person they’re taking care of than themselves.

Asha has this internal emotional conflict where she feels she needs to constantly help others the same way she helped her grandfather, and one of the things she’ll learn as the story progresses is that it’s not selfish of her to want more for HERSELF.

Another thing that would be relatable about Asha is her passion for drawing, and how most people in Rosas would say she’s wasting her time practicing so much when she can just wait until she turns 18 and wish to be amazing at drawing.

She’d never stop believing that taking her time to improve on her talent and trying again and again was worth every second of her time, because let me tell ya folks, drawing is HARD, and animating like Asha’s mom did is even HARDER, it takes a whole lot of practice, and Asha was determined to keep trying.

She’d be much like Belle, remaining true to herself even tho those around her considered her odd, and very passionate about drawing just as much Belle was passionate about reading.

I also find it funny how Asha’s motivations are fairly down to earth, like in Disney movies you usually have:

I want to be free from these palace walls!

I want to explore the ocean!

I want to open a restaurant!

I want to find true love!

And then there’s Asha here like

“My life is fine, I just wanna chill and draw stuff”

And that’s it, but, in her environment where everyone is expected to have this great wish that they have to give to the king so he’ll make it a reality, she’s kinda the odd one out, and I love that. Would be a great subversion of the Disney formula.

Of course after she learns Magnifico and Amaya’s true intentions she gets a lot more agency and the desire to save her people, her “call for adventure” if you will.

But what are Magnifico and Amaya’s true intentions? Click here for part 2 and find out!

Thank You For Reading!

[gojos-fr-bae]

Liar pt.1

GIF by bakemono04

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Pairing: Gojo x fem!eader

Warnings: Pregnancy, blood, mass k1lling, heavy themes kinda, angst, not proofred

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: Finally done😭 This took so much energy and honestly I'm still deciding how I feel about it. Hope you like it tho.

You looked up from your bed, buried in your blankets as you watched your husband hurriedly get dressed in his sorcerer uniform, buttoning his jacket and rushing to reach for his phone before realizing that you were awake.

He looked deep into your eyes, his being covered by his signature blindfold, and although you couldn’t see them, you could tell that they held a chaotic medley of heavy emotions.

He slowly leaned closer to you, placing his right hand against your cheek and pressing his forehead against yours.

“Where are you going?” your feeble voice whispered.

“I have to work,”

“Do you have to go now?”

“Don’t worry honey, I’ll be back before you know it,” His heart ached as he lied to you. He knew his words weren’t true, but he had no choice.

“Promise?”

“Ofcourse, baby, I’m-”

“The strongest, yeah yeah, I know,” You croaked, feeling sleep begin to take over you once again.

Satoru chuckled softly as you slowly began to drift back into your dreams. His left hand slowly rubbed your swollen tummy.

“Keep our little Kikufuku safe until I get back, okay? He said softly, placing a kiss above your belly and then your forehead. 

As you hummed in agreement, he slowly moved away from you and walked towards the bedroom door. Every fiber of his being was telling him to stop. To turn back and stay with you. But alas, he had a role to play, and he was needed elsewhere, and there was nothing he could do about that.

As he closed the door behind him, he dragged his body away from you, from your child, and to his students and fellow sorcerers. He begrudgingly trudged himself towards the Shibuya station. 

He didn’t want to go but he had no choice, no matter what he wanted, he had to go…

He HAD to go.

Week One

You stirred from your restless slumber, shivers running down your spine from the cold latching to your skin. You groaned at the aches and pains that have been plaguing you for the majority of the latter half of your pregnancy. 

As you were still waking, you heard your doorbell ring. You slowly pushed  yourself off the bed and lugged yourself down the stairs.

As you opened the door, you were met with a somber looking Ichiji. He could barely meet your eyes as he whispered an apology, bowing his head and holding a letter out to you.

“What’s this,” you asked, heart racing because you knew exactly what it was but you didn’t want to accept the glaring truth.

“It’s from G-Gojo Sensei,” He feebly whispers, voice cracking slightly. 

Your shaky hand reaches out to grasp the letter, thanking Ijichi before closing the door. You made your way to your couch and went against every fiber of your being to open and read the letter.

Dear Y/N

Hello my love. If you're reading this it means something has happened to me.

I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise. I know you deserved better and my biggest regret is not being able to give you a life you deserved. 

I don’t know how long I’m going to be gone, and as much as it would pain me to let you go, I can’t bear the thought of you having to deal with all the burdens that come with being with me.

If you choose to leave, I fully understand and don’t blame anyone other than myself.

Please take care of our kikufuku, I know you will be the best mother in the world.

Always know that I love you more than life itself, I always have and always will. Please never forget that.

-Satoru

Your hand covered your mouth as a sob was ripped through from your lungs. Tears flowed nonstop from your eyes as you cried and cried and cried.

You clutched your belly as you tried to stop crying for the sake of your baby. All you could think about is how you were going to raise the baby alone and you only ended up crying even more. But you decided to be strong. You had to for your little mochi.

Month One

You squeezed your mother’s hand as you pushed through the most excruciating pain you may ever experience. The nurses were trying to coach you through your breathing as you went through labour.

“One more push,” your doctor instructed you, causing you to put all your energy into birthing your precious angel.

Suddenly, the room was silent except for the crying erupting from the newborn.

“Congratulations, he's a beautiful, healthy boy!” the nurse whispered, placing your son on your chest. 

Tears blurred your vision as your precious angel on your chest, your mother hugging you and at that moment, all you could think about is how much you loved and would lay your life down for the happiness of your little prince.

“As he slowly opened his eyes, you were mesmerised by the sea of blue that met your eyes, matching his white hair. 

“Hello Kaito,” you said with a happy but simultaneously sad smile as you gazed down at yours and Satoru’s child.

Like father, like son.

Month 2

Satoru

Gojo layed silently, eyes bare and staring into the seemingly unending void of the prison he has been submitted to, and all his mind would drift to his thoughts of you and his presumably unborn child.

In the prison, no time would pass, and considering you were 8 months pregnant when he was praying to every being willing to listen to him that you wouldn’t give birth to your child without him by your side. He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if you had to go through that and handle the Jujutsu higher ups without him.

Although he was surrounded by darkness, his mind was racing because on top of all of this, he was trying to understand why he had seen his best friend’s being in the station, but that wasn’t his priority. That was getting back to you and his baby, but from the looks of it, it wasn’t going to happen any time soon

Y/N

Ever since you had given birth to your little prince, you had been constantly harassed by your husband’s parents as well as all the upperclassmen of the Jujutsu world. You hadn’t even been able to leave your house for the past week because It was surrounded by men trying to take your son away from you. 

You had always known that bearing the son of the strongest sorcerer in the world would come with its consequences but you and Satoru had always agreed that you would be able to face these things together. However, ever since his sealing two months ago you have been under constant pressure and harassment from the Jujutsu world telling you to give up your son, but you would rather take them all to the grave with your bare hands than even think of giving up your son to them. 

All of this had been building up even before your little mochi’s birth and it had reached a point where you don’t think you can handle this anymore. Although you were also a sorcerer, and a special grade at that, you wouldn’t be able to protect your baby from the dangers and toxicity and dangers of the Jujutsu world. You had to leave.

You wanted to raise your son in a place where he could be safe and grow happy and healthy. And although you didn’t want to leave your job and your students at Jujutsu Tech, you had to do what you had to do for the sake of your child. Even if that meant abandoning your marriage with Satoru.

Your heart ached as you looked back at Japan from the airport, baby in hand and family and friends bidding you farewell before you slowly made your way to the boarding gate. Tears filled your eyes as you thought about your now technically ex husband. You looked down at your now bare left ring finger, thinking of the future you could have had together, but you had  to do it. Not just for yourself, but for your son as well.

You had to leave.

Month 3

YN

It had been a month since you had left Japan and although it had been extremely difficult to settle in a new country with new cultures, a different language, and different people whom you know none of. Finding a new home and job to be able to provide for your son, but it was beginning to feel worth it by the end of the month you had finally begun to feel comfortable.

However, as you looked over your son, clutching his blue and white monkey plushie, your mind couldn’t help but drift off to Satoru.

Was he back?

Was he still sealed?

Would you ever see him again?

Although you knew he would never find you where you are, what if you met him one day. You had kept in touch with megumi throughout the move considering to you, he was always going to be your son. But other than him and your parents, you never really spoke to anyone back home, and you decided that you need to look forward and focus on bettering yourself and making sure you give your baby a happy home. And you weren’t going to turn back, at least not anytime soon.

Satoru

Gojo Satoru is free.

He had finally been released from the prison realm and before he could do anything, he went on a rampage, killing every curse and curse user within a 20 km radius, painting the city in all of their blood.

He finally stopped seeing red and immediately thought back to you. He warped back into your shared home, hoping to find you asleep and wrapped in the warm duvets on your shared bed.

His heart began to race as he warped into a dark, empty and cold home.

“Y/N!” He called, running through the house searching for you before reaching your presumably shared bedroom.

As he burst through the door, his eyes met your bedside clock. Three months. He had been gone for three whole months. Panic began to seep into his bones.

This means you must have already given birth. Were you okay? What if you didn’t even survive labour?

He quickly rummaged through the drawers, moving to the vanity, and his heart sank as laid atop the table were a picture of you in a hospital holding a bundle of blankets covering your precious child. The life you created together. As he held it with shaking hands, tears cascading onto it, his gaze shifted from the image to a letter, and to his regret, your engagement ring.

In the letter, you told him about the harassment you and your son had to endure, turns out you had a boy, and how you had to flee the country for both of your safety.

His heart shattered and he hated himself more than he ever had anyone else. 

“No, no, no, no, no, no no” He whispered, hand gripping your ring so tightly its gems began to cut into his palms.

He was overrun by countless emotions. Guilt, grief, regret, self hate, anger, all of them.

Sobs Ripped through his chests so violently that it ripped his throat, causing it to bleed. His knees gave in and he clutched the ring and picture to his chest and he cried. And as he cried, something inside him died. His happiness, joy, his smile, all left him at once, and his eyes lost their shine.

That night, Satoru passed away, and left behind Gojo, an empty shell of  what he once used to be. What he could’ve been.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

I tried. Longest imagine I've ever done, I'm so tired. lemme know if ya'll want a pt.2

@porridgesblog , @giannitaa , @c0pkiller

© gojos-fr-bae

[chimkin-samich]

Hiya! It’s been a while since I asked you lot a question. (Also I’m sorry if I ask to many questions. My friends call me Whiskers cause I’m curious like a cat 🐈.)

Anyways, I have two strange questions: 1. In the Mermaid AU, are Sun and Moon more fish-like, reptilian, or mammal-like? Also, how exactly do mer people… breed/reproduce? It’s a weird question, I know. It’s been bugging me for a while. If you don’t know, just say nothing or make shit up.

I also created characters inspired by your artwork for my fanfic The Royal Blooded Assassin. Thank you for creating such amazing artwork and stories, I really enjoy them 🫶

Aaaaaa so happy you asked since we got into the deep world building of this not long ago, ima put it under a read more cuz it’s prob gonna be long lol

Also added some merboys lore at the end of how they met since with the world building it makes more sense

AND AAAAAA VERY HAPPY WE INSPIRED YOU TO MAKE CHARACTERS BITING BITING

The merboys are a combination of fish and reptile, their skin is more reptile scale like (think of a shark skin but not as sharp) since it helps them cut through the water much easier which allows them to be able to shoot through the water with a sudden quick flick of their tail (especially Moon since he hunts like a great white, attacking with a burst of speed from below)

Although there are mammal like Mers based on whales and dolphins that have blubber like skin, mers come in large variety’s just the boys are in the similar subspecies Sun is a lion fish, moon is an angler and eclipse is a hybrid of a non-venomous lion fish (that’s why he doesn’t have spines like sun) and angler

As for mating and breeding, fish like mers like the boys are polyamorous, they tend to mate in groups of 3 and more with usually 1 female and multiple males, the males aren’t always mates with each other but it’s not a must, it’s usually done since it allows them to provide for their young and the female more efficiently as well as genetic diversity (a mer can genetically have 3-4 parents)

They are able to change their sex so if their are say 2 females and 1 male one of them will change to make the ratio be 1 F and 2 M and vice versa If say it’s 3M one of them (usually the most dominant) will become the female, the only difference is those that swapped sex aren’t as fertile but it’s not a major issue just a bit more difficult to conceive (females that were originally male do have smaller clutches tho so instead of the usual 5-6 it’s 2-4)

Mammal like mers are the opposite but they do have larger family pods with more generations, they are also matriarchal like the boys pods (it’s the majority but not the rule that all mers are matriarchal)

Fish mers either group in just mated partners like Moons pod was only his parents and siblings, but sometimes another group will be in the same territory, its never more than 3 family groups to a pod, Suns pod was the opposite being a much more social species they group into large groups of up to 3-5 family groups

Gonna add some more stuff like their habits and such since ima already typing lol,

Mers stay in their pods up until their about 12, once they reach that age their forced out to prove themselves in the wilds on their owns, and they can’t attempt to return until their at least 18, it’s a way of both making sure the most adaptable make it to adulthood and population control, they want to make sure the mers in the group are able to help sustain the group, but most mers usually end up forming their own groups since it’s also a period for them to find possible mates, sometime (in Suns species case at least) mers will return with their partners to add into their original family group, making the pod a bit bigger but it’s not very common

Mers also begin having heats near the age of 14 so that’s where the mate finding part comes in

And for a bit of lore with the boys now that y’all know this

Eclipse was a hybrid, his mother (sun sub species) was attacked by a lone desperate mer (moons species) in heat and eclipse was the only one to survive in the clutch, he stuck around until the age of 10 due to his mother protecting and teaching him, but when she was killed in a hunt he was casted out by the dominant male (rare but it happens that a male can lead the pod), he was already nearing the size of an adult (he has gigantism and double arms due to being a hybrid) at that age so it felt like a threat to them, so off he went into the wild until later finding Sun at the age of 15 and Moon at the age of 17

Sun was separated from his pod during an attack when he was about 10 and was on his own for a few months before Eclipse caught him snooping around his territory, Sun would have been terrified of Eclipse if weren’t for the fact that the fins around his head look similar to his own, so he figured it was someone of his species and latched on immediately, Eclipse being lonely and a complete sweetheart adopted him into his solo pod on the spot

Moon joined the group at around 13-14, he had been having a horrible time during his coming of age trial since he was a bigger loner than his species already once and refused to really sit down and listen when his parents tried to teach him survival skills, He meets sun first when he enters their cave looking for food, which Sun was eating, Sun seeing him starving hands it to him and once he’s finished Moons exhaustion and loneliness catches up and he cuddles up to sun, Eclipse finds them and just adopts Moon on the spot as well

Their ages go (at least once they mate with Tari)

Sun:32 Moon:33 Eclipse:37

Sun and Moon were separated from Eclipse when they were 15 and 16 when they were captured, Eclipse does end up finding them since a few years after they disappeared he goes back to his nomadic lifestyle of before, so they rejoin together when sun and moon are about 30-31, Since he caught their scent when they went back to their old cave hoping eclipse would be there before beginning to look for Tari after she helped them escape the aquarium

Eclipse does end up trying to kill Tari when he sees her for the first time cuz he smells their scent on him and assumes she did something to them, she blinds him for a few days cuz she pokes his eyes escaping his grasp before getting attacked by Sun and Moon, Hes cold towards her the first few months but warms up as he sees the interactions between her and the other 2, his hard shell fully cracks tho when she first says she thinks he’s pretty

The only others that had called him pretty were the researchers constantly searching for him (he has forums dedicated to him cuz of how unique he is) but it felt detached like just saying a painting is pretty, and Sun and Moon but they preferred calling him cool, so when someone hes starting to get along with calls him pretty that hard ass attitude basically disappears and he begins his own courting not long after lol

Eclipse isn’t considered attractive by his species standards because of the discoloration and double arm mutation so he has some self esteem issues in that regard, they went away when Sun and Moon were in his pod since they never judged him but came back in his isolation, Tari helps to ebb that away again once they start getting along and more when he begins his courting

Also Their basically immortal (like lobsters) but it’s really rare to find one that’s lived longer than 2 centuries most tend to die at the age of 70-90 due to you know living in the wilds

[ashensgrotto]

Hey I was reading your yandere Azul fanfic for like the 50th time and I had this idea for a request:

Can you do the other overblot boys in similar situations?

Also when are we going to have Azul's redemption arc when we get trapped in Scariba?

Have a lovely day/night/morning/afternoon

Why, greetings my dear anon! I’m happy that you enjoyed the ‘Poor Unfortunate Souls’ to read it that many times - and I apologized that I haven’t been able to get started on the Scarbia segment yet (between that and Raison D’être plus work & other stories… and GloMas, I really need to get my priorities straight seriously -_-). However, I do intend on working on it as soon as I can so I can get it out sometime this month or in December - I mean, I think that would be the most logical since that one takes place during holiday break, right?

Now, for your request - I hope head cannons are alright for the time being. I’ll try to come back to them and do short stories for each of them that follows the same concept design as “Am I Feeling Love?” - which is the first installment of the Yandere!Azul series. I'm also going to divide this into two parts - about halfway through I realized I hadn't posted anything in a while and thus, I want to make it up to all of you for not writing or posting anything for some time.

Part 1 (Here) will feature Riddle Rosehearts, Leona Kingscholar, and Jamil Viper

Part 2 (Here) will feature Vil Schoenheit, Idia Shroud, and Malleus Draconia

***

Riddle Rosehearts:

Yandere Riddle is more of the controlling type - that much is certain. While during his youth, he came across a story about ‘soulmates’ - and the idea of someone made for him took root like a weed in the rose garden. Although his mother ordered for him to dismiss the idea as nothing but a fairytale, Riddle could not push the idea away and it slowly became a source of comfort and drive - if he could stand out both in academics and athletics, surely his soulmate would recognize him as their other half. (There really was no way for him to search for his other half while trapped under his mother’s unwavering gaze, especially after the tart incident.) 

When he saw you in the mirror chamber for the first time many years later, he was awestruck by your grace and beauty, reminding him of how the queen of heart once was long ago… the problem was your impeccable timing. You had the worst sense of direction as well as time - quite literally to the point that he had to give you several (and I mean like five to ten) different watches to have on your person so you wouldn’t run late for your scheduled tea time and after school lessons with him (which he made a priority to keep an eye on your movements, especially with the way you hang around the ADuo).

He likes that you have a favorite tea flavor, but hates that you drink it. All. The. Time. (“There are other teas, you know?” he tells you softly, trying to reign in his urge to yell at you for drinking your tea when you should be drinking the green tea with honey that is required following a lesson with him.)

He recognizes you for your hard work - often watching you from the shadows when time permits as you paint the roses red, care for the hedgehogs, feed the flamingos in that pink attire he provided for you, and assist with the dorm’s random tea party celebrations. Riddle also enjoys your conversations - even though he would like it better if you opened your mouth and stopped speaking so quietly (“Look up, speak nicely. AND DON’T TWIDDLE YOUR FINGERS! Turn out your toes, curtsy, open your mouth a little wider and always say, ‘Yes, Housewarden Riddle.’" He’s constantly reminding you.)

The one thing he can not stand though: your friendship with Duece and Ace and the furball menace. He has added a new rule to the roster: ‘Rule #687: (Y/N) is to always be supervised by either Trey Clover or Cater Diamond when not in the presence of the housewarden.’ (It’s for your wellbeing, after all. Trey and Cater are much more reliable than those two annoying freshmen and fire-breathing direbeast.)

However, his real breaking point is when you side with Ace and Duece following the ‘collaring’. He wouldn’t have dreamed in a million years that you would’ve sided with them over him. He was only trying to look out for your best interests… the best interests of the dorm… He was supposed to be the one…

Leona Kingscholar:

Yandere Leona is more of the… dependent type. During his youth, one lazy afternoon, his older brother was talking to him about how he read in his studies about a certain smell that would allow him to know if his soulmate was nearby. Leona had at first shrugged it off, not really caring - after all, he wasn’t going to be king… why should he worry about finding the right one? He didn’t need annoying little brats running circles around him like his nephew did already… what a pain.

That changed the moment you entered the mirror chamber. Your scent wafted through the air and tickled Leona’s nose like a call of a hornbill to its mate. Leona could feel a need rising within him - a sudden need to protect and lay claim to you as his. And when the mirror turned you away, Ruggie was surprised when he stepped forward, offering a place to stay in Savanclaw.

It was no surprise to anyone that Leona decided to make you his personal gopher (although he knew that he couldn’t rely on you 24/7 as you weren’t allowed to attend the school - not that he cared much anyway for classes). During practice, you would bring water and snacks - the housewarden always scruffing the top of your head and messing your hair up, offering a cheeky grin that no one had seen before. In the dorm, you would sit with him and look over his homework and studies - Ruggie nearby to help you understand what was being taught, considering that this was something far beyond your understanding - especially since you had no magic ability either.

Speaking of which, Ruggie was the only other person - besides Leona - that was allowed to get close to you. Any other student that attempted to get within a foot of you would suffer under Leona’s frightening stare before choking on ‘King’s Roar’ until they begged for mercy when you weren’t around.

When the spelldrive tournament came up - and you unknowingly found out about the plan to hurt another student - you confronted Leona about it. Leona tried to play innocent - pretending not to know what you were talking about, Ruggie assisting with the typically ‘innocent until guilty’ look that he often gave you.

His last straw was when you and Jack warned the others of Savanaclaw's plan - the housewarden of Heartslabyul and his students effectively coming to your aid. Leona thought he could trust you… that you would respect him and love him as the king he was supposed to be…

Jamil Viper

Jamil is your typical stalker type - wanting to know about your every move, it’s ingrained in him after all. During his youth, he - along with the other servants of the Al-Asim home - would watch over the young masters as they grew up, one eye always on the lookout for danger that could befall the family. Kalim - as sweet and carefree as he was - would often spend time in Jamil’s presence, chewing his ear off with stories and such, Jamil often ignoring what he said or taking everything with a grain of salt. However - the story of the Scalding Sands princess and the thief never completely left his mind. Legends stated that the two were fated to be together - and the land had been prosperous during their reign. Jamil would often turn the story over in his mind a handful of times, but tsk at the idea of soulmates. It was only a fairy tale… right?

That changed the moment he saw you in the mirror chamber - your eyes wide by everything that was different and strange to you. If Jamil was honest, he thought back to the story of the desert princess and the thief right then and there - he imagined himself as the thief and you as the princess, and the longing that filled him had to be the same as it was for the thief when he had seen the princess’ beauty for the first time. It was easy to persuade Kalim to let you stay in Scarabia, using ‘Snake Whisper’ to charm him into allowing the headmaster for you to stay. Once within the safe confines of the dorm, Jamil offered for you to assist him with taking care of Kalim (“Trust me, my little desert flower,” he tells you, “things aren’t always as they seem. You will get what’s coming to you.”)

Speaking of which - like Azul’s pet name of ‘Angelfish,’ Jamil refers to you as ‘Desert Flower.’ When you asked why that was, Jamil would cough and say something about how you reminded him of the flowers back in the Scalding Sands - particularly the Desert Hyacinth (which is a parasitic plant, oddly enough).

Regardless, Jamil enjoys spending time with you - when not chasing Kalim around. In the evenings, when the dorm is asleep, he finds the evenings quite relaxing in your presence; playing Mancala on the carpeted flooring after having his feet rubbed in oil to alleviate the tension and pain from all the hard work he did. When he asks if there’s anything he can do for you in return, you simply smile and shake your head, explaining how you’re thankful for his kindness and generosity for keeping you company in the late evenings when you both know he should be getting rest.

However, as the holiday season approaches and the rest of the school heads home for the holidays, Jamil notices your disappearance one night - making him frantic to know where you had disappeared to. That fear turns into seething rage when you return with an octopus and two eels in tow - Jamil demanding to know what the meaning of this is. Out of the goodness of your heart, you explain that you sought help for him and Kalim - especially with Kalim’s strange mood swings making you more and more nervous with each passing day. The presence of the scheming octomer and his twin pals makes Jamil more on edge than ever - watching from the shadows as you and Kalim turn to your new allies. It would seem… desperate times call for desperate measures.

The look on your face when it’s revealed that he was the one behind the changes in Kalim’s behavior was enough to shatter Jamil’s heart into a thousand pieces - like a glass lamp crushed under the weight of stone. The fear… the anger… the resentment towards Kalim has become centerfold - but Jamil could never hate you… his little desert flower. If only he was headwarden… if he was in charge… none of this would have happened… it was all Kalim’s fault, after all…

[alevolpe]

Thoughts on the relationship between mamoru/tuxedo mask and usagi?

I like it in the abstract, but I don’t love it in any canon (aka the anime, Crystal and manga, only ones I’ve watched fully).

I still think the anime, despite the many MANY flaws their relationship has, is also the most endearing and likable to me. I really like their bantery, but sweet relationship of the first season (yes, he did get unnecessarily mean at times..). Usagi obviously thrives in relationships where she has a bit of push back, just look at her and Rei or her and Luna, her mother. Usagi likes to bicker and surround herself with “colorful” personalities. SO having Mamo be a bit of a looser who picks and bickers with her is very fitting and quite cute imo.

I still believe this scene is peak Usamamo chemistry.

Now about the manga/Crystal… sigh.

I’ll keep it brief cause it genuinely makes me uncomfortable thinking too much about it, but I really dislike how much it feels like they are together as Serenity and Endymion. They call each other by their “past life” names and I hate it. For those who have been following me for a while, you already know my thoughts on reincarnating as the exact same person.

It feels like Mamoru and Usagi have no agency in their own bodies and minds and it’s genuinely gross (it’s a me thing I know, but it genuinely destroys the relationship for me and I cannot look past it). Ik in the anime they do too sometimes, but very rarely and the whole “loving each other through reincarnations” is not as hammered in as in the manga.

I’ll give credit to the manga for not aging Mamoru up tho, even tho, UNPOPULAR OPINION, the only difference between anime Mamo and manga Mamo (age wise) is just him telling Usagi he’s in high school. He still looks and acts much older than her, but hey, if an ID is enough to make someone more comfortable, more power to you.

Also another plus I’ll give the manga is their much healthier relationship in regards of physical affection. Every time they engage in casual kissing or hugging in the anime is the most awkward thing in the universe and also they seem to have much healthier sexual relationship in the manga, so that’s that. (Although give the *circumstances* of the anime, I’m glad they never went that far, cause yikes).

My ideal relationship for them is similar to the anime, tho Mamo is an actual teenager. And not just “here’s my ID teenager”, he acts and lives like a teen.

Also I’d MAKE SURE that they are together for themselves, they need to say it, both of them to each other and it should be a major part of their character arcs together. Serenity and Endymion DO NOT matter.

They are together cause USAGI loves MAMORU and MAMORU loves USAGI. They have the agency to choose who they love from the memories and emotions they shared in this life.

[galebrainrot2024]

GalexYou Dinner Party Part 1/3

I didn't manage to finish the next enemies to lovers part (I got half way!). I DID manage to write the start of a Dinner Party short series based on the @thebitchycloudpainter's idea. THANK YOU :D this was a hoot to begin to write.

Summary: As you and Gale settle into your life post-elder brain, you pitch the idea of gathering everyone for a dinner party in Waterdeep. Gale begins the whirlwind of preparation, setting the stage for the party itself. Content: fluff, some angst, mutual pining, mention of chronic pain, mostly fluff tho for the Sunday scaries

Master List |

It was hardly a few months time when Gale began to lament about how long it had been since you and your companions saw one another. As the stillness of life settled around you and he, you realized how much stimulation Gale needed to feel satisfied. He was endlessly curious and in many ways, your almost cataclysmic adventure was well suited for his temperament. 

Despite his aching knees and persistent gnawing where the orb once nestled and despite some days where he was unable to find the energy to rise from bed, he craved excitement. In incremental and practical doses, for the most part. 

When you tossed the idea of a dinner party half-heartedly, you were startled when he took it and began to weave together an elaborate chain of thoughts. He shot up, enthusiasm coursing through his veins as he spoke louder, his hands gesturing in wilder strokes as he went on: “Oh! Yes! What a fantastic idea, I knew I loved you.” He smirked and shot a wink, before pressing his fist against his pursed lips. “Should there be invitations? Of course there should be, Gale. Don’t be silly. Lest we forget our manners - Tara would never allow it, let alone my mother.” He shot you a knowing look, brows raised. He began to pace. “Invitations always feel a little.. old fashioned and archaic.” He stopped to catch his breath and you felt heat spread across your cheeks as you beamed at him. Although the idea of a dinner party knotted your stomach, to bring Gale joy and see him so exuberant, it would be worth it. “Listen to me, drolling on,”  he took one of your hands and brought it to his lips. His hot breath against your skin made you shudder. “What do you envision my love? We could very well use the sending stones. How decadent though, to send out invitations for something as simple as a dinner!” He dropped your hand after kissing it once more, the energy whirring through him. He walked towards the picture window, watching the sun dip lazily on the horizon. “Everyone loves receiving proper mail, wouldn’t you agree?” He turned back to face you and you felt butterflies twist your stomach when blush coated his cheeks. He looked bashful, his large  brown eyes honeyed pools. “Why are you looking at me as if I’ve sprouted tentacles?” Gale’s eyes glinted with mischief. He loved teasing you. Once he realized though, a soft, “ah” escaped his lips. “It’s because I’m getting caught up again, isn’t it?” 

“Yes,” you said, stepping forward to wrap an arm around his waist and pulled him toward you. You brushed a stray hair from his face and tucked it behind his ear. You love how he leaned into your touch, igniting your skin as it sung with his. “I love it when you get carried away, please continue.” 

“Are you certain this is something you want to do? I have a few faint ideas on how to reach Karlach and Wyll. Ah! And I’m sure Tara wouldn’t mind me joining her and Wither’s Wednesday Tea Time - she’s been pestering me to join her for some time. Perhaps I can seek out his assistance. OH! And the menu! What shall we have? There are so many possibilities…” as you saw Gale’s mind work, you whispered against his lips how much you loved him. You felt him tremble and sigh as you pulled away. 

“You were our appointed chef! Everyone’s had your cooking you salvaged from pitiful scraps. I’m sure whatever you prepare, it will be excellent and they will be thrilled. Think about how inspired everyone will be when you have access to actual spices and produce.” You leaned forward to kiss him again and he welcomed you in. A few moments passed, your hands exploring one another, lips tenderly synched as your tongues mingled and you tasted fresh green tea. You were enveloped in each other. He groaned as blood pulsed to his groin and you felt heat spread between your hips. 

“Yes, but this is different! What if they don’t like what I prepare? You remember how picky some of them were-“ he was interrupted by your charming laugh and gentle kiss. Whenever you noticed him get too wrapped up in his thoughts, you knew your lips at the very least would silence his protests if he would not or could not hear your words. You were happy to offer whatever encouragement and validation you could. 

“Give yourself more credit. You’re an excellent cook, and you have wonderful friends who like and admire you - I know they will love having a real, decent meal prepared by you. I’m surprised Karlach isn’t at our door already, eager and ready to eat.” You smiled despite the pang echoing in your heart for your friend. You missed her and hoped her and Wyll were safe in the hells. 

At this, Gale beamed. You remembered how he loved feeding Karlach especially - her enthusiasm for life, food included, made those who her compliments touched delighted. “You’re right. I am so glad you thought of this, you’re brilliant and I love you, so very much.” He cupped your face in his hands and kissed you passionately, the kind of kiss before someone runs off to safe the world. 

In this case, it would be preparing a dinner party. 

[monstrouslyobsessed]

A tribe composed only of men in a tropical forest. They are cannibals and eat members of other tribes and trespassers. Reader and her group was captured and since the chef and the other members found her cute and breedable, they decided to not eat her and make her the "mother" of the tribe. Thanks! —anonymous

—a/n: hm, im a lil iffy doing this one due to potential xenophobia and cultural insensitivity (regardless of what one may think of certain customs, the tribes who inspired this such suggestion are still people who deserve a measure of respect), so i’ll be changing the species and incorporate it in my beastfolk au instead to hopefully avoid offending anyone.

also, this turned into a fic (plus me making it into beastfolk au so no claiming without permission) lmao so not really a concept anymore. sorry about that! im keeping the format tho.

also, I wanna make a note for you for the asterisk marking in the tag list. the word i made up (Ce’ne, specifically) basically meant both ‘mother’ and ‘father’ and can be passed as gender neutral, to have/give children. to be safe though, im marking it as gendered language.

—tw / tags: gn reader, brief use of gendered language*, language barrier, injuries, horror, implied maneating, gore, multiple deaths, implied trespassing, implied beastfolk trafficking, kidnapping, confinement, body painting, teratophilia, exophilia, general yandere themes, sfw? —readers are advised to read at their own discretion.

—featured character(s): the jaguars tribe / the ‘Jags’, the Scarred One —word count: 2.1k

—this is part of my beastfolk universe! —zoo era.

Everything hurts, especially the excruciating pain in your back. It felt as though your flesh had been flayed and then set ablaze, the agony akin to acid being poured into open wounds. You groggily dragged your eyes open with a whimper choked out from your dusty throat. Needles of numbness buzzed on your damp skin and the only sound you could hear was the pounding of your own heart in your ears.

It was dark when you came to, but not pitch-black as you could see thin gaps of light creeping through wherever you were currently. The flickering golden light was in a constant motion, casting dancing shadows across the space. You could smell a smoky scent of burning wood and the air was heavy and damp, hanging on your skin like a winter blanket. Your brain was still groggy and the answers to where you were and why, were not forthcoming.

At hearing your groans, someone hissed out for your attention, “—! —! Are you okay!?” They kept their voice low, as if they were trying to avoid alerting anyone outside the threshold you were placed in.

You could barely see with the blur of pain fogging your eyes, but you slowly shook your head, “I…I don’t know.” You desperately searched for the owner of that voice, but you found nothing but a shifting blob of shadow some feet away from you. You couldn’t move, your arms tied to what felt like a wooden pole and your ankles bounded together with bushy ropes. Your head was ringing loudly and you moaned, “Wh—what happened?”

“T-the d-director fucked over all of us, —!” Their reply was edged with a sense of betrayal, “He was one of ‘em fuckin’ zoo hunters, using us to get close to the Jags—!”

Fuck. You remembered with a contorted grimace. As an up-and-coming researcher with a vested interest in studying the feral beastfolks and animals, you had ambitions and dreams realized. You had been honored to have encountered and even personally met a handful of tribal people. Although It was no grand merit, you learned enough about their customs and languages to set up a survey to map out the possible locations of local tribes.

As you’d learned, this knowledge was a dangerous thing to have.

The director must have been after a specific tribe of the feral beastfolk; the whiskeredfolks with ringed spots in their golden fur that you and your colleagues had nicknamed 'Jags.'. Unlike the timid, long-legged tribe you had befriended with and the one with thick-maned people with whom you had more tenuous relationships with, this particular one was notorious for being dangerous and killing the outsiders on sight.

Without a doubt, you and your expedition group had flown too close to the sun and got burned for it. Despite your frequent warnings, the so-called director convinced everyone to take just a 'few steps closer' to the Jags’ territory. In a blink, all hell’s broke loose.

You remembered the sound of roaring and the sight of bodies scantily clad in animal skins launching themselves at you and your people, weapons in hand. You felt a searing pain in your back and then darkness consumed you. The last thing you saw was gruesome, with a spear tearing through a fellow researcher’s chest.

The vision still burned within your mind’s eye and tears stung your bruised cheeks.

“S—shit,” You dug the soles of your bare feet (what happened to your boots?) into the wet dirt and thumped your head against the wooden pole. You tried counting what you could see, but there was only one. “w-where is everyone else?”

Your colleague went quiet. The jeering laughter and a sole human shrieking followed your question. The screaming sounded suspiciously like the director’s—and your blood went cold when that cry abruptly ended to a gurgle.

The shadow blob nodded, their motion solemn in the darkness, “We made him confessed when ‘ey tossed us in here when you were still out. Since ‘en,  ‘em cats started picking us clean one by one. ‘e bastard was the first one to go, probably because he’s big and meaty.”

You caught a hitched breath and heard them shuddering, “We’re ‘e last ones. Why didn’t we listen to you?” Your colleague choked.

Why didn’t they, you’d wonder about this for the rest of your remaining life, but now, your brain could barely function with your back throbbing in pain. You could feel the back of your shirt being soaked through with your warm blood and your body slowly going cold. With a rasping breath, you rolled over your heavy head to your fellow researcher, “H—hey, at least…at least we’re dying doing what we loved, right?”

It was a shit joke, but it was enough to get them to snort.

“Hopefully ‘ey’d put us out quicker ‘an what ‘ey did to ‘e bastard.” They mumbled.

A whispering flap of the tent’s entryway fluttered.

A flickering light blinded you, casting shadows across the dark enclosure and preventing you from seeing who had entered. Several footsteps grinding into the dirt and a brief warmth pressed against your knees. You heard a mumbling in another language, oddly approving, and a short shuffling from where your colleague was.

The light was gone and you found yourself alone in the suffocating darkness. With a slow groan, you braced for your inevitable end, hoping that at least everyone in your group had met a quick demise.

Sans that fucker of a director who lured you all into a death trap.

You closed your eyes, not expecting to see another day.

When you woke up, you saw the daylight creeping inside the gaps of the woven palm leaves and blinked in confusion. When you turned your head, you realized you were resting on a soft bedding, of dried leaves and colorful fabrics, and was staring at the knitted canopy. Weren’t you tied up to a support pole earlier, with your back gaping and bleeding?

A moan tumbled out from your lips. From the corner of your eyes, you saw movement and you jerked when a voice bellowed not too far away from you. As if they were raising an alarm—or calling for someone’s attention. Fear struck your heart—

And you so wanted to move. Your body was too stiff and your muscles soft from exhaustion and strains from your injuries. Absently, your skin itched and you somehow found enough strength to glance down your body.

You swallowed thickly at your current state.

Where had your clothes gone? Why were you half naked and wearing patterned animal skins? Why had they tended to you at all?

On your skin, leaves and odd colored globs were plastered over your injuries. Why had they spared you?

“R’oa,” a deep voice entered your ears and drenched your spine with a shiver.

Hello, you absently translated from knowing some of the local common tongue. You slowly rolled your head over and blinked at the sight of the kneeling figure. Your heart jumped to your throat when it dawned on you on who he may be.

His face and body were marked with striking decorations of rosettes and bright painted patterns you recognized as his people’s custom. He wore ornate accessories, including a heavy ring through his flared nostrils, to signify his rank in the tribe. Towering over you with ease, he was large and his presence nothing but raw power and his naked torso coiled with rippling muscles.

But, none of his features stood out as much as his scars littering his skin—and one of which had left a long, jagged  pit down his cheek and left his eye an striking grey hue. He was a well fought warrior, perhaps the best in his tribe.

Without a doubt, you were in the presence of one true predator.

Shakily, you nodded with a quiet return of his foreign language.

He seemed pleased by how submissive you were being.

There were no other option left but to humor the person who could easily shallow you whole in several gulps.

“*Canu zuhs nu i'ars nuus nil zuazsu.” He grasped on your forearm, the pads on his palm were coarse and hard on your skin, and tugged you off your bed.

Come...meet…people? You groggily tried to translate, as you went along with the whiskeredfolk’s whim. A yelp darted from your lips, when he swung you into the crook of his arm and pain rung around your eyes from the sudden movement and your injuries feeling like they were being split open once more.

“Tuil i'asu uhrthisus, ilai rsizuhs ail!”  Another voice snarled out, and you flinched as you distantly heard a slap on the whiskeredfolk's person. You glanced upward and saw him wearing a crossed brow.

Injured…that was all you understood from their exchange.

With his ears folded back to his skull, the scarred male grumbled something back to the owner of the other voice. He quietened at the growling reply, and you still trembled from the way his voice seemed to burrow deep inside your skin. You could feel his foreign words through his chest, vibrating into your aching ribs.

The other voice sounded feminine, possibly aged, and you wondered if they were the one who had nursed you back to health. You had no energy to crane your head over the scarred one’s bicep to see, catching a brief glimpse of a strange hood over their head.

The scarred one took you outside, pushing the flap aside, and you winced at how bright the dabbled sunlight was. When your eyes readjusted, you blinked and regretted every decision you’d ever made in your life. Your stomach curdled at the sight and your nose stung.

Within the ashy pit, still smoking from the previous night’s bonfire, black skeletal remains hung on their respective stakes. There was little meat left on their bones and their skulls were missing. You did not wish to dwell on why and ripped away your tearful eyes from your colleagues’ bodies.

Why were you spared?

Oh, gods, the stench in the air was foul, smelling like burnt meat and melted plastic. Smothering your hands over your lower face, you gagged the exact moment the scarred male barked out. You grimaced, trying to make sense of the words he shouted out.

“Mil zuazsu, I si'ass izar suu!”

People, call.

You were so distracted by the gruesome sight that you hadn’t realized how quiet the settlement was. Initially, the only whiskeredfolks you could see were several teenage males, looking at you with curiosity in their eyes.

When you blinked, more whiskeredfolks emerged from their homes at the scarred one’s call. They quickly surrounded you, keeping a respectable distance, their eyes burning holes into your bare skin. Some had hunger in their gazes, others quiet rage, and a few were wide-eyed and curious.

You gazed across your whiskered audience, noting their muscular body shapes, and realized that most were males. You could count the females with both hands, and a sense of dread sank into your stomach. Instinctively, you knew why you were spared, but your mind screamed in denial.

The scarred one thumped his feet and swished his tail, “Tu Ce’ne phsi'asus ir i'asus i'a sarph si'ars!” His tone was exuberant, eager, and his tribe erupted in an excited murmur.

You furrowed your brows, but you could only understand Ce’ne, which meant both Mother and Father. But, who was Ce’ne?

He jostled you to your feet and kept a grip on you when you wobbled. The scarred one leaned over you, his jagged teeth beaming in the sunlight. “Na nasu zuhss ais zuazsu rius suhsssurr,”

You jumped as the entire tribe erupted in a loud roar of joy. Their eyes glittered with delight and you could feel your fear intensifying. You felt colder than you were back in the throes of blood loss from the night before. Your heart shuddered at the way they looked at you.

“sa szuhrssu zuhsais i'a Ce’ne sa phsi'ars ir sir!” the scarred one finished and clapped both of his large claws on your shoulders. He herded you closer to the mass, as if to showcase every inch of you.

Grant us cubs. That was all you could make out from what the scarred male said. Your eyes widened at the realization and a strangled whimper rose from your parched throat.

There was no escaping this, was there?

You couldn't move as the weight of the leader bore down on your shoulders, his talons cutting into your skin. Tears welled up in your eyes as a hooded female appeared with a strangely shaped bowl in her hands. You were shaking like a leaf, when she dipped her fingers into the dark, coagulated liquid within.

You sobbed the moment she smeared the tribe’s pattern onto your exposed chest, as if marking you as their property.

The Ce’ne. You were the Ce’ne.

—end

fictional translation: Canu zuhs nu i'ars nuus nil zuazsu. —Come with me and meet my people.

Tuil i'asu uhrthisus, ilai rsizuhs ail! —They are injured, you stupid boy!

Mil zuazsu, I si'ass izar suu! —My people, I call upon thee!

Tu Ce’ne phsi'asus ir i'asus i'a sarph si'ars! —The Mother/Father graced us after a long last! Na nasu zuhss ais zuazsu rius suhsssurr, sa szuhrssu zuhsais i'a Ce’ne sa phsi'ars ir sir! —No more will our people suffer childless, to dwindle without a mother/father to grant us cubs!

[kahlanmars]

BAD FEELING part. 22

Hi! We are back in the cityyy! But I can't stop myself from writing Daymitch so... kisses and cuddles in the chapter too. Thank you thank you thank you!

MASTERLIST

taglist: @crimsonincursive

22. Argent Bracelet

You don’t know how to prepare yourself for a mission. It’s silly, but you don’t know if it’s going to be chilly or hot and you figure you have to wear the jumpsuit, but it seems like not safe enough. They will give you some kind of preparation kit, or not? A bulletproof vest, a helmet at least.

You stress yourself in front of the mirror so much that Haymitch comes to hug you from behind, his face burying on your neck to place some kisses on it and bite your flesh. You immediately relax. He is only in his underwear, he must be cold.

«It’s not a beauty contest.» He murmurs, his voice is still rough from the night before and his hands are roaming through your body.

«Certainly not, because I know I could win that.» You sigh, hiding against his chest. «I’m scared.» You whisper.

«You are stronger than you think.» He kisses your shoulder. « But to lift your mood… I’ve got something for you.» 

You immediately turn around, a lot happier than a moment before. For certain things you remain a child. Presents are one of these things. Presents from the man you love are certainly better. «A gift?»

«Effie threatened me. She insisted that if I had to chase her away from her room on a daily basis, at least I could make you happy.» He grumbles. Dear heavens if you know he could give you a gift because he wants to. 

«I could argue you made me very happy tonight…» You purr before a kiss on his lips. «But I want my gift. And I adore her.»

«Yeah, that’s new.» He has always been a little jealous of you and Effie. Not romantically, just how close you two are. Although he doesn’t know that Effie likes women, or he would be a lot more jealous. You can’t wait for the woman to be out to torture him a little. That’s what he gets from listening to your mother and trying to stay with Marjorie. «Maybe Effie should give you presents instead.»

«My gift, sir.» You remind him. He tosses a little box at you, and you catch it with a glare. That’s not a proper way to give you a present.

When you open it, tho, you squeal in joy. It’s a bracelet. An argent bracelet - because you don’t love gold very much - with a little white daisy charm. It’s classy, it’s simple and beautiful. And it shines. You jump on him to kiss him properly.

«You like it?» He manages to ask you while you are attacking him, as there is not an obvious answer.

«It’s beautiful! I can’t wait to show it to Lora and Perla!» You put it on and watch him from every angolation. You are so proud of your bracelet. You are proud that he thought of a gift for you. 

You didn’t talk about the L-word after you spilt it last night. You don’t want to make a fuss about it, because you are aware he can’t say it out loud right now, he probably doesn’t feel it that way about you yet. It’s fair, you’ve had more time to adjust, you like him from before, you’ve been attracted to him for more time, and now he is struggling with an addiction. Definitely not the right time.

«If you behave like this I’ll have to buy you something everyday.» He half-complains, but something tells you he is not at all that annoyed by your reaction. 

«Thank you, thank you, thank you!» You repeat, smothering his face with pecks. You can’t say it out loud but he is cute. And a nice, very nice distraction. 

«You deserve it.» He winks at you. You’ve been together for a while now, but when he does things like this you feel the crush growing. 

«Thank you. I wish you could have something of me too. A token.» You think and think but you don’t have something that he can wear. 

«Don’t worry about that.» He dismisses it. «We’re partners, you and I, aren’t we? You come back to me and that’s enough.»

You deepen the kiss and nod when you have to take a breath. “Partners” it’s a good word. This is a good admission. «Of course I’ll come back to you.» 

«Keep it for the mission, ok? Don’t take it off.» He warns you, kissing your wrist another time but there is the bracelet now. 

You frown. Oh, you thought it was just a nice gesture… of course the great mastermind had a plan, a tracker if you could bet. But the fact he gave you clues does mean he can’t tell you, not that he doesn’t want to …And it shines. And it’s a nice gesture anyway, the gift remains and it’s a daisy, it’s your flower. So he actually chose it for you.

You nod. 

«Now kiss me before you go.» He demands. A demand you are so happy to please.

«Bossy.» You whack his hand, but you let him carry to the bed nonetheless. Maybe tomorrow will be a bad day, but you still have a few hours.

«Yeah and you like it.» He comments, so confident, so sure of himself, while he tosses you to the mattress and pinches himself on top of you, ready to make out like teenagers.

«It will be quick, right?» Effie wants to know, again. You love her, you really do, but you are scared enough by yourself, you don’t need her part too. She is frightened for you, for her children, maybe for Perla and Lora too now that she knows them. Must be hard to stay in Thirteen knowing you are in danger.

She is not supposed to be on the roof with the others. She is a political refugee, so she has to stay underground at all costs. Your mother too. You have no idea what Thirteen means with a roof, anyway, because there is still ground on your head, but it’s an isolated place where hovercrafts leave and it’s considered not underground enough. If there’s a good thing in this situation is that you’ll see the sun again.

«Very quick. As quick as I can.» You reassure her, and you smile at your mom.  She’s very District and she is probably criticising the prim and proper Euphemia right now because she is making such a fuss, you have to be stoic. You think she’s trying to appreciate that she adores you, anyway. Little progresses. Baby steps.

It’s still weird to see them together, and you are sure they are about to argue on this or that detail.

You give a quick kiss on the lips to your non boyfriend, because you don’t want to embarrass anybody, but he keeps you in his arms, he deepens the kiss and he smirks at you. Oh, he is smug in public, especially since your mother is so against the relationship and he is petty like a child. And also this is a display for the soldiers, that you are his, and he is the Mockingjay’s mentor, so they have to protect you.

«I’ll miss you.» You whisper. Woods and liquor, you have to remember his scent. Remember mom’s baking. Effie’s perfume. You are doing this to free them.

«Yeah, me too. Don’t fuck it up.» You can sense he’s eyeing Peeta while he’s talking to you. Poor mentor, he has so many tributes in one mission. Two children, a non girlfriend and most of his closest friends are here. 

«You don’t fuck it up. Behave with Coin.» You stroke your hand in his hair. «Don’t lose your temper too much.» 

He nods. More than what you expected. «Do whatever Finnick says. I don’t fucking care it’s Katniss’ mission, she’s a teenager. Do as Finnick says.»

«Finnick?» You turn around to watch the others and you see Finnick coming to your group, dashing in his damn suit (you don’t understand why you look like a potato sack and he is handsome). You can’t resist running for a hug, after he hugs Katniss. It’s her turn to talk to Haymitch anyway.

«What the hell are you doing here? You are supposed to be on your honeymoon!» You scold him, mostly for Annie. Poor Annie. He lifts you up and turns you around, happy enough now because he just got married to the woman of his life.

«Killing Snow comes first.» He raises his eyebrows and that tells you that these are not his words. He didn’t want to leave Annie in Thirteen, not alone. You suppose Johanna and Effie can take care of her until you don’t come back. «What about you? Haymitch nearly trashed the headquarters when they mentioned your name.» 

You cringe in embarrassment. You love him, you really love him, but he makes you appear like a coward.

«It wasn’t right.» You shrug. «And it’s not right that you are here.»

«A lot of soldiers in Thirteen have a wife, Dai, not just me.» 

«Yeah, but…» But it’s not true. Finnick was the youngest victor ever, and since he was fourteen his life has been hell. He deserves some peace, he deserves at least a honeymoon in peace with his wife.

«Annie is pregnant.» He reveals. You gasp and hug him again. A baby! They are having a baby! A mini Annie. Or a mini Finnick. A mini Annie is better, there’s enough ego in the family. No, a mini Finnick would be perfect. But you could make little dresses for a mini Annie. Twins, you decide. They should have twins.

«Congratulations!» You are overjoyed. Children tend to have that effect on you. You are already planning the Odair’s nunnery, painting the walls will be great! “What walls”, is a question you will ask yourself later.

«Yeah, remember the time when I told you I wasn’t terrified?» 

You laugh. «It takes a village. We certainly are.»

Your talking is interrupted by Perla and Lora, who arrive together. Cinna is behind them, maybe to talk about uniforms. 

«In a hovercraft? With you? Again?» Perla complains, but she smiles at you. 

«It’s nice, isn’t it?» Lora comments, and you can’t help but watch her puzzled. Did they tell her that this was a mission and not a holiday?

«Pardon me?»

«I mean, I would have preferred to stay at home, but at least this time we are allies for good, no reason to kill each other!» Oh, yeah. That is nice. You just forgot she is Lora and Lora is always an optimist. It is so her to find a silver lining.

«Oh, spend two days with Daisy and then tell me again you don’t want to kill her, I might help you.» The blue eyed girl retorts. You want to smack her but you are adjusting your backpack.

«Have you done some exercise since Thirteen?» She asks again.

«I’ve done a lot of cardio.» You point it out, and when they eye you completely done you just shrug your shoulders. «What? It’s true.»

Lora shakes her head. «I can see your point now, Pearl.»

When everybody is in the hovercraft the tension starts to build and the time for jokes is over. Katniss is very serious, you can still see the marks on her neck from Peeta’s attack, and somehow he passed the tests to be in the mission and he is here too. They didn't give you a test, you don't know if it's because they think you are not traumatised or because they want you to participate no matter what.

Finnick is here, Perla and Lora, Peeta and Katniss and Gale Hawthorne, plus the cameramen and a few other soldiers. 

You start to see this mission is made of people that can die, the dispensable ones. The District is not very pleased by you, or by victors in general. Victors have demands, they want justice but they want it on their terms. They are reckless, irresponsible and they don't want to be in a cage anymore. Not the kind of hero Coin wants when everything is over, a too strong reminder of how it was before.

This is a little less than a suicide mission.

And when Caius comes in from the hovercraft door you have the confirmation. At first you think this is a mistake, he can’t be him, but he has the same blonde hair, the same eyes, the same kicked puppy expression. Hypocritical. It was already bad enough that he decided to punish you by not letting you go in the bunker but you are sure he saw there was another person with you, one that was limping.

Caius. Caius. They want you to go on a mission with the man who nearly killed you and Marjorie. A wound collector. And on top of that, a guard. Guards usually have guns.

But you didn't tell anyone. You didn't say it to Haymitch because he would have killed him and you didn't want your partner behind bars. You didn't tell Effie because you didn't want to upset her. No one knew except for Plutarch and you don't know if Plutarch did it on purpose or he just relocated him, then President Coin had wanted you in the mission and the rest was fate.

Fate sucks anyway.

«Are you okay?» Finnick asks you. «You are pale as a ghost.»

«Do you remember when I went into the bunker with Marjorie? This is the man who saw us and closed the door.» 

You want to be sure somebody knows it, in case Caius decides to try and do something else because you crossed the line.

«Oh.» He brushes your cheek. «Are you sure you want to continue the mission? We can still… I don’t know, you could say you are not feeling well. Johanna is not okay yet and she can’t come, maybe you could…» 

You shake your head. Tempting, but no. You are not going to pretend. «Now more than ever I need to keep an eye on the people I love.»  

You are interrupted by Boggs, a tall soldier who begins to talk. «I want to say thank you to everyone who’s here today. The hovercraft is about to fly, but I want to introduce the team. This is Cressida, she’s a filmmaker and she comes from Capitol City, so she will help us in the city. Her assistant Messalla, her cameramen Castor and Pollux, from District Twelve Gale Hawthorne, and from District Thirteen we have the Leegs twins, Mitchell, Jackson, Holmes and Caius. We all know the remaining victors: Peeta Mellark, Finnick Odair, and of course our Mockingjay Katniss Everdeen, and the last participants of the Hunger Games: Perla Undertow, Lora Wimsey and Daisy Pinecone. Most of you don’t have a real war training, so follow my orders and everything will be alright. Now try to sleep for a moment, this is the last time you can. We will use the tunnels behind the city to move.» So no sunlight, again. «And every one of you will have a bulletproof vest. We will eat before the mission. Good luck.»  

You do as he says and try to sleep during the flight, but it’s not the easiest thing. You keep trying to guess how it will be, even if you know it will do no good to you. The only time you’ve been to Capitol City you were in a penthouse and you are a little ashamed of yourself for thinking you liked the town. Not the people, but the town was nice. Now it’s filled with horror. And the tunnels… you are not keen to inspect the tunnels, you can imagine the rats, the snakes and other animals you really don’t want to meet.

When you get up, you eat soup in a little bowl and then you begin to walk. And walk. And walk. You have to walk in the dark because every light could be seen by the capitol guards (you don’t know why a Capitol guard should be in the tunnels below the city, but you are there so maybe he would have a point) and you basically follow the soldiers without questioning anything. 

The tunnels are watery, with a lot of puddles everywhere and a smell that resembles awfully rotten eggs. You are not sure you’ll be able to stay in this place so much without throwing up.

After hours you are exhausted, irritated and dehydrated. Peeta is the one who gets it worse, he trembles and sometimes he slips into something that is not a coma, because he is awake, but he doesn’t listen to you when you talk to him and he doesn’t move anymore. It’s usually a few minutes before someone calls him and he wakes up. Still, I wouldn’t choose him for a mission. It’s a miracle Johanna is not here.

«How's it going?» Finnick asks you but you don’t want to complain. You are in the same position, and if the nation knows how much you don’t like to walk, you really can’t complain to one of the few people who always has your back.

«Breathing, for now.» You smile at him. «You?» 

«I meant about the Caius thing.» 

«Oh, I’m trying not to think about it. I’ll just avoid him, I think.» You don’t know how much you could avoid someone who is on a mission with you, but still you could try. You can just hope he is not your difference between life and death.

«Be careful.» Boggs warns everyone. You immediately freeze.

There is a difference between a generic mission and someone who tells you to be careful, because if you need to be careful there is something out there.

«There is something here.» He alerts you again. Soldiers? You don’t know how to fight with a gun! You fought with skates the last time. Haymitch was right, you are not a soldier, you shouldn’t be here.

«What is that? What is that??» What is that? 

He yells and begins to run away scared. He means for us to follow him, so you begin to run and run in the tunnels. Sometimes you look back to see Peeta, Katniss and the others, but quickly you are left behind enough to see what is that.

Mutts. 

And not wolf mutts like in the previews Hunger Games or snake mutts, these are… they look like humans. Humans without a face. Something between a lizard and a human, four legged, and they move skittish. 

No, they wouldn’t. They wouldn’t dare experimenting on humans… would they? Capitol City would. Snow would. 

And they scream. They scream so loud and high it hurts your ears. They scream Katniss.

«Come! Come!» Finnick squeezes your hand and he helps you into another tunnel, because you were blanked out, still, motionless. He has to move you physically. 

You want to move, you crave to move, you desperately try to move but your body is refusing to help you. 

This is how you are going to die.

[k8fics]

Ruined Legacy

My Way to Freedom

summary: Based off “My Way” by Frank Sinatra; Joel & Ellie find a curled up woman in a farmhouse with a freshly dead guy outside — Episode 1 of the ‘Ruined Tragedy’

rating: R - just reader’s backstory & character building (my bad), some joel splattered in there tho, she cannot catch a break, abusive/toxic relationship (not joel), murder, brutally killings, dead parents, captivity (kinda? idk man), thoughts of suicide, cussing, hopefully that’s all

And now the end is near

And so I face the final curtain

I still remember how my mother woke me up that night; tears streamed down her face, and her entire body shook. How she frantically grabbed my hand, pulled me towards the basement door, sat me down on the cold ground, and told me to wait down there while she received a call for help from my father.

I still remember how I stared at the small window, covered by the dusty curtain. How the lights from the outside world showed through the glass, the orange hues, the flashes of car lights, the shadows of people’s feet running away.

I still remember waking up down there. This time, my parents were with me, arguing over each other. My mother paced with her arms flailing out, my father leaning on the concrete wall with his arms crossed.

“We can’t just leave! You heard the TV, we’re instructed to stay inside!” She yelled.

“And you saw what’s out there. We have to get out of here, who knows if they’ll start bombing again.” He said calmly. She only sighed in response, stopping and looking directly at me.

I stayed silent, still acting like I’m asleep. But she could tell I was awake. Mom always could tell. She walked over to me, with a smile. Although, the smile was fake. I could tell she was scared.

She put her hands on my face, I leaned into her. “Hey, baby... We gotta go, let’s start packing.” She said, pulling me up.

As I walked to my room, and she walked to hers, I looked out the window. Your neighbor’s house still burning from the night before, the ground covered in blood and ash. The world has gone to complete shit.

My friend, I’ll say it clear

I’ll state my chase of which I’m certain

“Who the fuck are you?”

Your thoughts were interrupted by a gravelly voice. You looked up to see a girl and a man. You glanced around to see you were in the same room you had been stewing in for the past day.

You opened your mouth to speak, lips cracked from the lack of moisture. “..I stay here.” You stated, not in the most cohesive terms though.

The man still had his gun pointed at you, looking at you and then at your surroundings. “So why is there a freshly dead guy on your porch?” It was like he was a detective investigating you. Although, a detective’s attitude would be less intimidating than his.

“I killed him.”

I’ve lived a life that’s full

I travelled each and every highway

And more, much more than this

I did it my way

My father was always a survivalist. He taught me how to make a fire out of sticks, how to hunt — even when I was begging him not to make me shoot an innocent creature, — and, starting last year, how to defend myself.

He said something about ‘it was better to be prepared and nothing happen than to be unprepared and have something happen.’ I guess he was right, at least we’re prepared. Though, I don’t think he expected his 16-year-old daughter to be using these skills so soon.

After the first month of walking through decaying neighborhoods, buildings, and streets, I was put on map duty. I didn’t mind it, it helped me think. I didn’t want to think about who and what was lost, how all my friends were gone, how my life and future were ruined.

Regrets I’ve had a few

But then again, too few to mention

I did what I had to do

And saw it through without exception

The walking was the worst part, and although the pain in my feet was unbearable, the pain of walking away from the only life I’ve ever known hurt more. I wished I could have told that guy in my 3rd period I liked him, I wished I told my friends I loved them more, and I wished I could be with them without my parents grieving my death.

I wish I didn’t have to kill. Even though it was only a few, it kept me up at night. I would close my eyes and only see their bloodied faces. I would fall asleep and see them beside me.

I tried so hard to not let it get to me. I had to do it. If not for them, it would’ve been me. Maybe it would’ve been me.

I planned each chartered course

Each careful step along the byway

And more, much more than this

I did it my way

My parents met Tim as they were going on a supply run while we were stationed at an old house. He had been staying in the overgrown convenient store tending to his wounds when they came in.

Dad said the man didn’t even put his gun up just kept his hands above his hands. Mom said he showed them a bunch of supplies that hadn’t expired. They said he was a good man.

I had just planned our next ‘trip’ when they brought him. He was pushy and, honestly, very arrogant. Even if he didn’t show it around my parents. He wasn’t ugly, but I had no attraction toward him.

“I guess he’s just not my type.” I told my mom when she asked why I didn’t ‘give him a chance.’

She laughed at my response, “Well honey, just give him a chance. It’s been 6 years since you went on a date-“

Before she could speak further I interrupted her, “Yeah Mom, 6 years since the world went to shit. I don’t need some guy to protect me, you know? I have you guys for that.”

And she laughed. God, I missed her laugh.

Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew

When I bit off more than I could chew

It had only been a few months since Tim joined us. I could see something was wrong with him. His eyebrows were always furrowed like he was trying to figure out the hardest math problem. His jaw clenched when my dad talked to him, sometimes I thought he was going to hit him.

To my dismay, he was much pushier. He would constantly want to be around me, he would always go with me on my runs, and, worst of all, he would not stop asking me out.

After the tenth time that week, I had enough. “Where would you take me out to, Tim? What? The woods? The old diner down the street that’s infested with the infected? Oh! Or do you want to go to the shed by the creek where the clickers are?” I said, no yelled.

His face changed completely. The cocky smile contorted into the same expression that scared me throughout these months. “You’re going to regret saying that.” That’s all he said before walking towards his place of residency for the time being.

Later that night, I woke up to several grunts and pleas. As I tried to move my hands up to rub my face, I realized that my body had been attached to a rope wrapped around a tree. I looked around at my surroundings, I was outside in an open area in the woods. In front of me were my parents in the same predicament as myself.

I called for them. They didn’t respond, both of them looking off to the side. I turned my head as much as I could to see what they were looking at. To my shock, it was Tim standing there. Leaned up on a tree, axe in hand. When I called for him instead, that’s when all three of them turned to look at me.

My mom looked like she had been crying for hours. My father looked furious, a face I hadn’t seen in a long time, his face was bruised and bloody. His right eye was swollen shut and his nose bleeding. Tim looked the opposite, he was clean like he had taken a shower moments before, although, his knuckles were bleeding, and his face. God, he looked ecstatic.

He walked over to me, his axe still gripped tightly in his hand. He looked down at me before placing a hand on my face. I flinched, his face looked like it did that afternoon prior.

“You should’ve just except my fucking date. Now, look at what you made me do.” He said.

I shook my head, “Please... My sorry, please don’t do this.” I pled, but all he did was walk over to my parents.

I scream at him for what felt like an eternity but his back still faced me. He only looked at me when he got in the face of my mother. When I looked into his eyes, I knew he wasn’t going to stop, no matter what I did.

I watched him kill them both with the axe. I couldn’t protect them. I could only cry. The most undeserving deaths. Just for what? A date?

He came over to me quickly after killing them both. I had stared at their corpses for so long that I hadn’t noticed him cutting the rope. I ran to them as soon as I was free. Not long after, he came after me.

But through it all when there was doubt

I ate it up and spit it out

I faced it all and I stood tall

And did it my way

I remember when Tim took me from my home. The way he would talk about my parents was like they were some problem in my life. How I didn’t need them, I was too old anyways. It felt like he was jealous of it all, that I had my family and he didn’t. I found sympathy in him, in a way.

‘Maybe it’s the Stockholm Syndrome kicking in.’ I would think. But then again, he murdered my parents because I wouldn’t date him. Who the fuck does that.

One time I brought it up to him, which landed me on the ground with a hard punch in the face. I didn’t talk for the rest of our travel.

One year later, he found a farmhouse. It was impressive, basically taken out of a Hallmark movie. Though my impression of it changed when I got to the children’s rooms, it didn’t take long for him to start commenting about how we should ‘fill them up.’ Fucking disgusting.

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed, and cried

I’ve had my fill, my share of losing

After 13 years of being here, I learned to live — or survive as I like to call it — with him. Sure, I tried to escape a few times, but it never worked out in my favor.

The first time I left, I was gone for a week. I lived in the woods, trying to find some haven which was harder than it looked, considering I didn’t have any access to a map or any weapons. Tim confiscated everything on me the day we left my parents’ rotting bodies.

He found me curled up behind a tree, facing a creek. Fighting him never worked. No amount of self-defense could ever get him down without a weapon. He was bigger than me, and when a stick didn’t work, I gave up.

All the escapes after had been futile, he had set up traps in the woods close to the house, knowing I couldn’t walk on the trail without him seeing me on his day-night searches.

He wanted me to be a stay-at-home-whatever-the-fuck. So fucking be it. I won’t lie, I played the part as much as I could. Whatever would get him to leave me alone. It didn’t work sometimes, but it did for the most part.

So I “loved” him. If love is making him food, cleaning his messes, cleaning his clothes, and letting him hug me.

I laughed at his stupid jokes that I had heard a million times before this shit show.

I cried at night when I had to share a bed with him. Feeling guilty that I couldn’t do anything about this predicament, that I couldn’t find a single sharp thing that could kill him or myself.

And now, as tears subside

I find it all so amusing

He left early that day, earlier than usual. When I woke up he was gone, only leaving a note saying he had gone on another supply run. I scoffed as if we don’t have enough.

I barely know where he goes these days, you would think after all these years, he had found every single store or house, but I guess not.

As I walked to the kitchen, I noticed something abnormal on the table designated for Tim’s backpack. It was a fucking knife.

‘He must’ve left it there when he was searching through it.’ I thought. “Dumbass.” That was all I said before quickly grabbing the handle and pocketing it.

Soon after I was done making eggs — still don’t know where he gets the eggs from, he could’ve at least told me that — he came back. I gave him a short greeting before putting the two plates on the table and sitting down. He sat down next to me, both of us not uttering a single word. It was nice, the silence.

I got up as soon as I was done, cleaning off my plate. Before I could leave, I was entrapped by his arms, pulling me into his chest. I scowl, still not used to touching the horrendous man.

“I love you.” He said. “I-“ Before he could speak any further, I reached behind me and stabbed him the first place I could reach, his left shoulder.

He released me and stumbled away, giving me time to run to the door. As soon as I unlocked and opened the door, I was pushed to the ground, landing on my back onto the dirt in the front yard. Tim was on top of me, panting heavily, his blood and spit dripping down onto my face. I struggled with him as his hands tried to find a way to my neck.

My hands faltered for a millisecond, allowing him to wrap his hands around my neck. I fought with him once more, arms and legs flailing, trying to get him off of me. My attempts were futile. The harder I fought, the harder he gripped my neck.

He smiled menacingly when he saw me losing strength, “You spoiled fucking bitch. After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you're fucking repaying me? Stabbing me with my knife?” He screamed in my face, as I sobbed and kicked.

I accepted my fate, me dying in the hands of the man that has made my life miserable, at least he would leave me alone now. “I should’ve killed you right in front of your mama and daddy.” He said.

Something snapped in me. Sure, maybe it was adrenaline, maybe it was the hatred I consumed for him for years. But I like to think my parents wanted me to avenge their deaths.

To think I did all that

And may I say, not in a shy way

Oh no, oh no, not me

I did it my way

As soon as my right hand felt the unfamiliar, cold object, I quickly grabbed it and hit him once in the head with as much force as I could gain. He was on the ground instantaneously. I got up on her feet taking a few breaths before pulling myself into a defensive position. My hands up and set on the metal pipe securely, eyes focused on the battered man’s wheezing form.

To my surprise, he stayed on the ground, back facing me as he groaned in pain. I stepped closer and kicked him in his backside. “Fucking look at me, you coward.” I snarled, “Look at what you fucking did to me!” I screamed at him, kicking him once more.

This time he decided to look at me. Eyes moving towards me away from the afternoon sky, “Please, Y/N. Don’t do this to me, baby.” He pled with me. And for a second, I thought about letting him go, but I knew that wouldn’t stop him from trying to find me. This had to end.

I took one step towards his battered body before speaking, “I fucking trusted you. My parents trusted you, and you murdered them like it was nothing! You wanted me to think it was nothing!” I screamed, letting out every single emotion I had felt throughout these years. “I have hated you ever since that night. You didn’t fucking save me! You’re a murdering waste of space.” I admitted.

“I saved you.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at his statement. “You didn’t save me. You ruined me.” I said, before hitting him again. I repeated myself once more before hitting him again for good measure.

For what is a man, what has he got?

If not himself, then he has naught

When I was done, the man was unrecognizable. His face caved in, bruises showed through the cracks of his clothes, and dirt covered most of his backside. I looked at the body for what felt like an eternity.

I didn’t drop the pipe in her hand until she made herself back inside the house. Closing the door behind me, walking to the kitchen where I once was. I picked up the knife that Tim had pulled out of his arm, placing it in my back pocket.

I looked around the house, an eery silence following me. As glad as I was that he was gone, the loneliness crept behind me. Not that I’d miss that ugly son of a bitch anyways.

My hands darted to the bags that he had left when he departed, quickly going up to them and ripping them open. There wasn’t much for me, Tim was quite a hoarder. He collected unnecessary things. The bag was no different, besides the cans of food and water bottles, the rest was unneeded random objects. Multiple different pans, silverware, and cups. Clothes that would neither fit him nor myself.

I glanced at his backpack that was left on the table, I aggressively grabbed it and looked through it. For whatever reason, he never let me look through it. Something about him sharing everything with me and he deserved privacy. It was laughable considering that he would do monthly checks of the house looking for secret hiding places where I would put my plans of escape.

I completely emptied the bag, object sprawling all over the ground. I rummaged through them, I stopped when I found a piece of jewelry. “Fucking bastard.” I cursed. It was my mom’s, she said one day, it would be mine. Some kind of generation gift I guess.

When I looked further, I found more of my things from so long ago. It was surprising that he kept all these things but wanted me to let go of all of them, even my parents.

I found my old diary, the mp3 player my dad gave me, and a dusty picture of my family that I had kept under my pillow when my parents were still alive. I called him a bunch of insults before picking up what you wanted and packing them into the, once Tim’s, book bag.

Before I started packing my clothes, I passed a mirror and stopped. I inspected myself, my face covered in his blood, my hands still red from the cold pipe outside, and possibly from Tim’s blood.

I rubbed my face, expecting it to come off easily but it had dried faster than I had originally thought. I rubbed more aggressively, eyes tearing up, whispering, “You ruined me.”

To say the things he truly feels

And not the words of one who kneels

The record shows I took the blows

“Tim was a bad man who murdered my parents,” At that the man’s hold on the gun falters, but still stands his ground, “and kidnapped me. I tried to escape, he tried to strangle me, and I killed him with a pipe.” You summarized.

The girl behind the man sighed, “Joel put the gun down, she doesn’t even have a weapon on her.” She tried to convince him.

You made a face, “Actually, there’s a knife in my back pocket.” You said, making them both turn to look at you.

The man, seemingly named Joel, sighed, “Stand up.” You quickly followed his orders. He reached behind you and smoothly grabbed the knife from your pocket, hands brushing over your ass. “Alright, I believe ya. But I saw that guy’s body, I know what you’re capable of. Do you wanna go somewhere else?” He asks, hovering over you for a few seconds after he stopped talking. He took you in before backing away.

“Only if I get to keep the pipe.” You bargained.

Joel scoffed, “Here’s the deal; I’ll keep the pipe safe until we can trust you, 'kay?”

“Deal.”

And did it my way

-

jesus christ this is so long y’all… hopefully grammarly does me justice bc i’m not reading all of this 😭

[divinemare]

-ˏˋ⋆ 𝔄 𝔠 𝔬 𝔲 𝔯 𝔱 𝔬 𝔣 𝔤 𝔬 𝔡 𝔰 𝔞 𝔫 𝔡 𝔪 𝔬 𝔫 𝔰 𝔱 𝔢 𝔯 𝔰 ⋆ˊˎ-

└──» ✎ 。 Azriel x Oc

part six

┊✧*｡ ✯┊☪︎⋆✧*｡ ┊

War had erupted. In what seemed like just months, chaos had put Prythian upside down. Or more like the majority of the Continent, as it seemed.

“This is are not just problems, are they,” Mareena sighed, looking towards the door with Morrigan sited beside her, they were both waiting for the same thing.

“No, no I don’t think so,” the blonde sighed as well, and just seconds after, the door finally opened.

Both females stood up so quickly, Mareena’s head began to spin, but she hid it just fine as one by one, Rhysand, Azriel and Cassian entered the cabin with heavy bags under their eyes and the shadow of tiredness looming in their faces.

“So…?” Morrigan gathered up the courage that Mareena didn’t feel to ask.

“Humans struck last night. Almost everywhere, as if…”

“As if it had been planned,” Mor finished the sentence for Cassian, and the winged male nodded slightly, his eyes lost in a blur of thoughts.

“So, it’s oficial,” Mareena said, trying her best to keep her voice from shaking, but failing miserably.

“Yes, it’s oficial,” Rhysand spoke for the first time, looking up with that deadly calmness of his that let Mareena —and everyone else present—, know there was a waging war going on behind those violet eyes. “We’re at war.”

☪︎⋆

Mareena had always hated slaves, or more like the awfully cruel concept of them. They were, according to some High Fae, nothing, less than nothing, liabilities good for work. And, growing up being told she was just that; a liability with a good set of powers that made her interesting enough to keep alive, she was more than capable to sympathize with humans, and so to feel a little rush of thrill at every little detail Rhysand snicked their way every now and then about the upraising rebellion.

For the last couple of weeks, tho, she had been subjected to awful enclosure. Not being able to leave the cabin nor for training or a morning walk or to even open the door. Why? Because i’m the last couple of weeks, the camp had been filled with more than a dozen people who, if they recognized, or find out who she was, would not even tremble to call upon her father. And, with everyone else having duties and opportunities to leave that damn cabin, well, she was all on her own for hours, and sometime, even days.

So, naturally, she had to look for ways of distracting herself, and that was beginning to be a whole ton of a challenge, to say the least.

She tried sewing, like Rhysand’s mother had tried to teach her, but every time she would end up with injured fingers and a crappy mood. Then cooking, which, she had actually thought at one point she was mastering, until Azriel tried one of her cakes, and although the tried his best to hide the sickness, and cheer her for her efforts, Mareena saw him gulp two glasses of water when he thought she wasn’t watching. She tried sparing with herself, practicing some moves; didn’t work, she almost severed Cassian head with a knife by accident when he entered unexpectedly through the door. She tried painting, and what a horrific idea that had been, she promised herself never to touch a brush again in her life. She tried dancing, and while that actually amused her and she got very good at, in time it turned boring, and even depressing, without a partner to dance with. And finally, when she actually believed she was about to lose her damn mind, she picked up a book.

Oh, what a wonderful idea that had been. Not for the book itself, but for the thousands of ideas that it gave her. And once she finished reading, she picked up a quill and some parchment, and started writing her own stories.

“What are you doing?” A deep voice startled her from behind.

She had been so concentrated in her narrative, she had not realized someone had entered the cabin. When she turned around, tho, her racing heart lowered its heavy rhythm when she saw Azriel’s face. She hadn’t seen him in, what? Two, almost three days?

Now, her heart leaped in excitement as she pushed from the chair and into his arms.

“Az!” The boy laughed softly, and the rich deep sound made Mareena’s entire body and heart warm.

“I’ve missed you too, Squirrel,” he hugged her tightly, letting her know he was speaking truth.

Squirrel, that awful nickname he had chosen almost two years ago. “Because you get distracted easily, and have a short attention span, like a squirrel.” He had explained when she complained about it. “Also because you usually fill your mouth with food when you don’t want to share.” He had also said.

“What where you doing?” He asked again once they broke their long hug, pointing to the stack of parchment at the table with his head.

“Oh, nothing, you know, just distracting myself for the awful truth of my lonely enclosure,” she sighed dramatically, and Azriel laughed again, shaking his head.

“You know I’m always keeping you company, even tho I can’t be here, Mare,” Azriel said with a soft gaze, one that mixed remorse with affection.

“I know, I know, you’re at my heart and all that.”

“No, I mean, literally keep you company.”

When Mareena furrowed her brows in confusion, he signaled the dark corners of the cabin, where light didn’t reach and shadows took place. And, now that she was truly looking at them, Mareena could have sweared they moved. Her mouth fell open, how had she not noticed before?

“Az, you…” She turned to look at him again, her heart giving a little, silly jump. “But, wait, doesn’t that take some power away?”She furrowed her brows again? this time in concern.

“Yeah, a little, but, it’s worth it,” he shrugged it off as if it was nothing.

“Az…”

“No, don’t argue with me, it’s the least I can do, Mare, I wish I could do more, but-”

Mareena quickly shut him up wrapping her arms around his neck in a tight hug, having to get on her tiptoes.

“But you don’t want to leave me all on my own, I know,” she whispered, then pulled away just enough so she could stare into his beautiful, mesmerizing eyes. “I just don’t want you to be unprotected, not with all that’s going on.”

He opened his mouth to respond, but just as quickly, the door bursted open. And with a swift move, Azriel moved her behind him while facing the door. He let out a sight of relieve —and annoyance—, when Cassian’s face came into view.

“Oh, shit, sorry, did I just interrupt something?”

Yes, you big-

“No, come in,” Azriel answered instead, and Mareena’s heart, yet again, like all the times before, sank to back to her chest.

“Sorry, Az, but we’re needed back,” he said with a frown of that same remorse Azriel had had before.

“It’s ok, go do whatever Illyrian’s do, I’ll be fine,” she smiled at him, and he gave him a sad smile in return.

Cassian got to her to give her a feet-off-ground hug and a kiss in her head before saying goodby and heading back out. Strategy, training, it all was gaining on them, she saw it in their tired eyes, but, as the exceptional warriors they were, they let none of that show, and Mareena could only sigh and pray to the Mother as she herself resumed her writing. Now, grinning with a heart-warming feeling at the shadowy corner next to her.

☪︎⋆

A week had passed, and Mareena had been day and night with a quill and ink. It was fascinating, actually, how her mind just couldn’t stop spinning with stories and plots and characters and so many other things.

“There you are,” a tired, male voice spoke behind her, and Mareena turned around with the biggest smile, dropping her quill to run towards Rhysand’s arms.

She hadn’t seen him in so, so long, the male had been incredibly busy at the Court of Nightmares he barely had time to breath.

“You’re here!” She beamed with excitement.

“Barely,” his laugh was dry, not at all like the Rhys she was so accustomed to.

“Oh, that bad?” Mareena took a step back, still grasping his shoulders and squeezing a little bit for comfort.

“That bad,” he nodded, and there, close enough to pay attention to his face, her own contorted in a worried frown for the big, purple bags under his eyes.

“Oh, Rhys…” She hugged him again, and the male let a deep sigh.

Ones they parted, Mareena hurried to prepare the delicious tea Alhena had taught her to make. At least, she didn’t sucked at preparing that, and actually did them pretty well.

“Here you go, I asked Az to bring me some new herbs the other day, so this is a new recipe I think you’ll-” when she returned to the living room, Rhys was sited at the table, reading the parchments she had left scattered around.

He looked up at her, and Mareena swallowed hard. She hadn’t showed her work to anyone yet —not that there was anyone to show them to, anyway, apart from the shadows that got closer and closer to her.

“They’re just drafts, some silly things that came to my mind when I was bored,” she quickly said, putting both cups of tea down and cleaning the sweat from her hands in her skirt.

“Mare, this are amazing, this one’s actually bloody genius, the grumpy bat? I wonder who that was inspired by,” a genuine laugh from Rhys that lighten up his tired eyes made her smile as well.

“Yeah, please don’t tell him I did that, I had to threaten the shadows with a blast of light for that one the other day.”

Rhysand laughed again, a sound so genuine that Mareena joined him after.

After some minutes, tho, of Mareena showing him her favorite stories, Rhysand’s face changed drastically from a smile to a worried frown, and he wasn’t quick enough to hide it before she noticed.

“What’s going on? I know there’s something you’re not telling me.”

“It’s nothing, I just…nothing,” he shook his head, and tried to pretend he was fully focused on the parchment in front of him.

“Rhys…”

“I met Tamlin,” he blurted out when Mareena put a hand on his tensed bicep.

Mareena backed away a little bit, in pure shock with her eyes wide open and her mouth suddenly too dry.

Of course she hadn’t forgotten that name, her brother’s name, in all those years. He had been a baby when she first met him and last saw him, since his mother had been keeping him away from her and the dungeon her father kept her at in his early childhood. But now…he should be, what, 15, maybe even 17?

“I mean, of course I had met him before, at court functions, but I mean, a couple of days ago I…I really met him, talked to him and…yeah. To say my father was pissed is an understatement.”

“And…how-how is he?” She asked with a shaky voice.

He had been an innocent baby when she met him, and could always hear his beautiful, childish laughter when the doors of her dungeon were opened long enough. The Lady of the Spring Court had done a good job at keeping her youngest out of the cruelty of her mate, at least in some degree.

Rhys looked at her like he was trying to look into her mind to read her thoughts, but she knew that he wouldn’t, so she tried her best to keep her exterior from breaking.

“He’s…good, and I mean, like in a good person and all. He doesn’t want to be a High Lord, and has as much of a good relationship with his father than I have with mine. His brothers make his life impossible for that, too, so he joined his father’s war band to get some training. I’ve been teaching him some things but…I really didn’t want to keep seeing before I talked to you, I should’ve never talked to him in the first place without talking to you first, I’m-”

“Don’t,” she interrupted, her face relaxing a little bit and her eyes softening despite the hot tears that gathered there, and she got a little closer to him again, putting a hand in his arm once more. “Don’t apologize for that, Rhys, I’m…I’m glad you did what you did. That way, maybe you can keep him away from my…his, father’s horrible ideas.”

“Are you sure? Because Mare, you’re my sister, I don’t want you to feel-”

“Uncomfortable? Scared? Paranoid? Don’t worry about me, Rhys. Tamlin never hurt me, he never had any part on the things his bother and father did to me, he was just a kid back then, and the Lady of Spring kept him away from me as much as she could.”

A silence stretched between them, not uncomfortable, just letting both think, specially Mareena to swallow and register the situation.

She wondered what he looked like now, he had been a beautiful baby back then, and had the most gorgeous green eyes and baby smile. She wondered if what Rhys was saying was true, and he was nothing like his brothers and father, and maybe, just maybe…

“Can you take me to meet him?” She said before actually thinking through her words.

Rhys turned to look at her in surprise, and didn’t found the words to respond for a couple of seconds.

“Are you…are you sure?”

“No, I mean…I don’t know, I just…if what you say it’s true, and he’s not like that bunch of awful males…sometimes I just feel like there’s a hole in me, Rhys. Don’t get me wrong, I love you and Cas and Az and Mor and every single one of you, you’re my family, and I love you and thank you every day of my life, it’s just…I don’t know…”

“You wonder if he could be your family too,” he finished for her, understanding and compassion shining in his violet eyes.

He had always looked at her like that, even when they first met, he was compassionate, and always understanding.

“Ok.”

“Ok?”

“Yeah, ok. I couldn’t help you find your mother, but maybe I can help you find your brother,” a smile stretched his lips, and Mareena jumped to hug him with a smile of her own.

They had tried to find her mother for years, they had done everything in their power to find her, but never got any answer in years, it was as if the female had disappeared from the Continent itself.

She had stoped thinking about it, tho, Alhena had filled that hole in her chest years ago, she was her mother now, and that was it.

“I’ll come to you when I’m sure it’s safe, ok?” She nodded with a smile, and Rhysand stood up from the table, kissing the top of her head.

He had to leave now, and even tho Mareena wanted him to stay a little longer, the trouble out there wasn’t gonna wait a minute longer for them.

“Oh, wait!” She stoped him before he could get out of the cabin, and Rhys turned around with furrowed eyebrows.

She gathered some parchment and molded them together with a bit of power.

“Here, take this one with you, maybe it can help you with a bit of a distraction when you need it. And, can you take this ones to Alhena and Valeria?”

“Oh, they’re gonna love it. Be prepared for mom to come and absolutely lose it with pride and Valeria to never let you live in peace again,” his laugh was full of love while he took with him the improvised books she tried to make. “By the way, nice trick, I didn’t know you were practicing your magic.”

A flush covered her cheeks, but she tried to shrug it off.

“Yeah, I’ve been practicing some with Mor, just to not be a total defenseless idiot, but…”

“You still feel uncomfortable,” he finished for her, another understanding smile in his lips.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Believe me, I get you,” and she knew he did, Rhys had told her before that he, too, couldn’t get a hold on his magic.

Then they said their final goodbyes, and Mareena sighed deeply, her chest filled with new emotions she didn’t know how to organize. Expectation, fear, uncertainty, emotion…too many of them. So, to distract herself a little from everything going on on her mind right now, she sat down on the again, pulled out a new piece of paper, and began writing a story about a little girl who had fled hell’s gates, and promised herself never to be afraid of it again.

[franciskirkland]

I hope you don’t mind me being a self indulgent little goblin but: thoughts/hcs on fruk being grandparents to the states :3 ?

Vinny is Fran’s favorite and I will die on this hill even if nobody comes to kill me over it UwU

girl please this is the self-indulgence website never apologize <3 i have so many thoughts about them being grandparents idek how to articulate them on demand.

when it comes to his grandkids arthur is... an odd mix of distant and overbearing. i wouldn't quite call it tough love (tough love takes too much effort) and he's so goddamn scared of hurting or disappointing them. ultimately of course he wants to be involved. but the relations will never not be strained. sorry if that's not as fluffy as you wanted 😭

the states who are old enough to remember england at his most powerful absolutely have beef with how he treated their mother, but to the younger ones he's moreso this weird old man with an almost mythological aura attached to him; who sometimes knits them stuff and they have no idea how he possibly bagged his GILF of a wife

you KNOW fran spoils the hell out of those kids. but he's not just there for the fun parts tho, like giving gifts and dressing them up and baking with them. one thing i think about fran is although he is very much a carefree type, he becomes more of a worrier the older he gets and that translates to fussing over the grandkids. arthur can be like this too, as a way of overcompensating, but fran is much more hands-on with them than arthur bc well... he doesn't have the same baggage as arthur does about screwing up his daughter.

i'd actually love to continue writing that fic for u about fran and arthur taking vinny in during a rough patch to give abby a well-deserved break

speaking in terms of ur statetalia AU since fran isn't related to abby i think he grows closer with her through being a grandparent figure to the states, if that makes sense. and through that he tries to be a post-development maternal influence on abby herself despite the damage arthur has kinda done to her with his parenting or lack thereof.

vinny absolutely is mémé's favorite they have soo much in common (fabulosity skips a generation ig uwu) i don't think anybody is arguing against this.... but also like... here's a question. what do u think about francophone/french-influenced states like louisiana and maine??

[foreverinthepagesofhistoryy]

Ok but why was I half expecting Sofia on the joke about dragging Alix to the cupboard to be like, “Wouldn’t it be fun Ali! I could bring you tea and some fruit and we could talk through the wall?” 😭😭 wotc Sofia is superior. All in all this chapter was unique, loved seeing Alix with her mother. Although I am definitely sensing some parental favorites here😭😭 like Alix is the apple of her fathers eye (I loved the tiny snippet we got of them at the gala party) and it seems like Alix’s mother loved Alix, as any mother would, but maybe she just had a special place for Peter knowing what he’s going through? Definitely can see Alix’s perspective on a lot of things, the whole analyzing her mothers face when she was little 😭 but I can definitely see Alix getting to the breaking point with Peter. I would be 😂. What were some parts you liked? I know everyone always asks you that, but as a English major I love asking that question too🤫

Omg u literally took the words out of my head and put them in my inbox lmao. This ask is like low key perfect 😍💕

I agree that WOTC Sofia is superior LMAOO. She is like the perfect younger sister that we all need, while also being a comedic genius. My honest wish tho is to know if real Sofi is like WOTC Sofi, I always feel like she’s a tad shy in public, but maybe she is like this at home when we don’t see her?

Oh anon you guys can always ask me this question! Some of my fav parts in this chapter have to be when Alix is leaving and Leo literally just like won’t let go of her and just wants to cling to her forever. LIKE GURL I FEEL U SO MUCH!!! Ugh I’m such a hopeless romantic sometimes for fictional couples (as we all are lmao) 🫶💕🥲

Thank you for asking!!!

[mental-health-advice]

Update

Manor suicide and overdose warning

I keep falling lower and lower, in a especially deep moment I looked up whether my current and previous anti depressants could kill me in overdose.

I think that was a bad idea as I now live with the knowledge that if I am in that severe low I could take them all at once fully aware of the effects

I still know I wont ever function in the real world, a conflict with my grandmother proved that today once again. So it got extremely tempting because, well, if I cant function I might as well avoid causing any more issues for my family long term yk . Plus for myself too.

If my grandparents die I might need to go back to my abuser and deal with her. The only thing that would prevent me there is not wanting one of my siblings to find my body. But if they weren't home and only our mother would be,,,

...

Is it bad or evil of me that if I die, be it sui, an accident or health/natural cause, I'd want my mother to be the one to find me? After everything she put me through and the amount of abuse i faced from here that she still won't acknowledge-

Ik I wouldnt be able to see her reaction, see the look on her face. But imagining it gives me some sort of closure and a part of me wishes for that to be reality. She never deserved to become a mother, she's an abuser just like hers was. So the knowledge I have full control over taking her oldest (me) away, this time forever, is extremely dangerous to me.

She claims to put her kids about all else, yet abused her kid.

I remember her threatening to kill me, me in a panic texting my friends as I genuinely thought I'd die that day. Months later it came up - she gaslight me over it, her ex who used to live with us backed her up even tho he was in the room.

I had to scroll back months of chat history to find it to know I didn't make it up.

God I desperately want her to actually fucking realize what she did wrong instead of playing victim.

My only reason to stay alive are 3 or 4 of my 6 siblings, a couple of friends who all live abroad and cant come help me. Idk what to do anymore -☆ (anon)

Hey there,

Doing research on your current and past anti-depressants wasn’t really the best idea but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t done it myself so I am sure others have too at one time or another so feel don’t be too hard on yourself.

Before you feel really low and really think about taking them all in a way to try and commit suicide, could you maybe separate the meds and put them in different hiding places. And so then when you feel those urges and really want to take them all, you actively have to try and find and get them all which may help you to get some clarity in your mind and really think if you want to go through with it or not.

Unfortunately, I, or anyone, really can’t stop you from taking your own life, but remember of those siblings you don’t want to hurt or your good friends who live abroad. Actually one thing I do with my friends who live abroad is sending letters back and forth with them in the mail or parcels of things (even if it’s something small), it can be so exciting to get something in the mail from someone from a whole different country so maybe this is something you could try if you haven’t already!

In regards to if you do die and  wanting for your Mum to find you, I don’t think that this makes you bad or evil. Whilst I do not know what abuse you may have endured by your Mum, I’m sure everyone at some stage has thought about this and who they would like to find them.

I think though that if your Mum was to find you that she would be in shock and very sad. No matter what kind of relationship (good or bad) you have had with someone, it’s never nice to find someone dead and not being able to do anything about it. It can be quite scary and really confronting and although your reasoning behind this may sound rational right now, I can guarantee that no one deserves to find someone who has died whether it was via suicide, an accident or other natural causes. I am not in any way tyring to make you feel bad or guilty about this and wanting your Mum to find your body, but it is something to think about and keep in mind.

In regards to not feeling as though you can function in the real world, aren’t you functioning somewhat already? I am not saying that it’s easy, but you have already come so far so perhaps instead of looking too far in the future you can instead just try to take things day by day? Just a thought.

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going OK!

Take care,

Lauren

[bakuvantea]

HEY BESTIE I HOPE YOUR HAVING AN AMAZING DAY

CAN I GET SOME GENERAL HEADCANONS WITH SUNG JIN-WOO WITH A FEMALE S/O

FEEL FREE TO IGNORE BUT REMEMBER TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

>:)

general relationship headcanons of sung jin-woo with his beloved s/o

- warnings: none! just a tad bit of nsfw implications

- audience: I made this gender neutral, i do hope that’s okay!!

- a/n: hello >:) anonnn (may i call u that? lmao-) here’s your request love!! thank you for your kind words <33 stay heathy, stay hydrated, and always rest up okay? hope you have an amazing day ahead too!!

also idk who jacob is-

-•-

: pre-awakened jin-woo (before entering the carthenon temple)

> he was always cautious, he didn't want [you] to hear the whispers going around about how you could've chosen someone better, about how you could've loved someone that was not him. thus, he was very shy and timid, always on edge when he feels the piercing stares from his batchmates -most especially when you try to initiate physical contact with him in your school or in public, you'd see him uncomfortable and so you'd immediately stop (because you respect him, ily). behind closed doors though he would always go above and beyond in pleasing you and making you feel loved, although he always doubts himself so you always make sure to give him praises and assure him that he is the one you love (not that jerk jacob from the class next door).

> he always wears spare hair ties or hair pins around his wrists in case you forget or lose yours. in fact when its weekends -and when he's not out infiltrating dungeons and positively offering his life on a silver platter- he always tries to study new hairdos and hairstyles so he can have more variations and choices when he ties or pins your hair for you. he'd always kiss the top of your head after and you'd feel his smile as he nuzzles your hair, smelling your shampoo. since his hair is also long, you'd also return the favor and tie his hair for him. his favorite would have to be the classic apple look with a pointy lock of hair erect in the middle -he really looks like a shih tzu, adorable-

> he.blushes.so.easily !!! he is very weak to praises and your lil kisses that pepper his face. you can see him glow and you even see his smile evidently becoming wider despite him shying away from you, looking downwards to avoid your loving gaze.

> he may be sht but he is also very playful towards you, teasing you and throwing pillows at you when you’re in his room, what a baby.

> often during dates he'd always need to leave early because he really needs to earn money and g to the dungeons. although you try to offer him some of your savings or your help during the dungeon raids, he'd always reject your offer, thinking of how it may burden you or the dungeon raids may possibly hurt you. you don't listen to him though, you give some of your savings to his sister when you cross paths in your school, and you'd always register after him in raids or call up someone you know to have you join in.

"(name) why are you here?!"

"angel face, i can handle myself just fine. it's my choice to help you and whether you like it or not, i've also been called for this raid. come love, we're going in."

> you'd always take his blue hoodie and wear it. he gets so shy when you smell it.

he gets frantic when you take his hoodie and start sniffing it, exclaiming; "stop! i smell weird."

you raise an eyebrow at him, "woo, you smell fine. i like it."

he tries to stutter a remark but was silenced by your smile.

> you always try to visit his mother with him and his sister, jinah. you always talk to their mother out loud and you'd see jinah smile gently at you and jin-woo trying to stop sniffles from escaping his lips by biting them and covering his face with his hoodie.

jinah: u simp

jin-woo: shut it

> he loved cuddles! but he really likes kissing your cheeks. he loves how soft they are and he loves feeling your cheeks move when you smile or laugh at his cute antics.

> he loves you so so dear

: post-awakened jin-woo (after the events of the carthenon temple)

> oh, dear it's the monarch-

> you weren't with him when he raided the "d-rank" dungeon that then turned out to be,, well pretty much a bloodbath, so you were very worried when you heard word of the news. you and jinah basically ran to the hospital and when you caught sight of him you almost fell down from relief and pure shock in seeing the state he's in. well, not long after though suddenly he's all buff and you were really trying to make sense of what's happening.

you: hello there good sir, what in the name of fck are you doing in my boyfriend’s room all sweaty and half-naked😀

jin-woo: (name) it’s me

you: haha yes, sir ‘it’s me’ that’s a pretty weird name but i don't judge, anyways my baby boy is not here uhm haha please get out of my boyfriend’s room

jin-woo: (name) it’s really me!

you: no sir, my woo radiates baby energy, you on the other hand radiates big dilf energy, haha i do not like what i am sensing so please for the life of me leave-

(jinah had to convince you that it is indeed jin-woo, you had her stop you from trying to hold his tiddies)

> you were very happy in seeing how confident he’s become, and you were even more proud with how he still says so humble despite his new accomplishments and title.

> it was obvious that he has become distant with others and have set a boundary between him and other hunters, you accept that part of him though since you know just how much he has gone through. he may act aloof towards others but he’s still very playful and comfortable with you.

> you have also noticed another thing though, he has become a bit possessive or much protective over you and jinah. he’d always have you bring a shadow with you to guard you when he can’t be with you. also, when someone stares at you for far too long, he’d step in and go, “hey there pal” and oh gosh was that enough to get the guy running (pretty damn hot)

> you still visit his mom with him, he doesn’t cry now though.

> when he trains, you’d insist on lying down below him when he does push-ups. you’d kiss him every time he swoops down and you’d hear him laugh which then makes you giggle as you hold his cheeks between your hands

> jinah is sick of the two you, always screaming about how on earth did her brother get an s/o before her, the audacity!

> his shadows adore you, of they’d always try to impress you or get head pats when you tell jin-woo to summon them for you. you live them to bits and always thanks them for a job well done in helping jin-woo with his raids. on the first time you accompanied him for a raid -you had to bribe him with more cuddles- and you were shocked with how his sweet adorable shadows turned a full 180, becoming ruthless towards the enemies. quite a show you’d say. after though, they’re back to flocking over you, even dismissing jin-woo lmao

jin-woo, watching you give each shadows head pats: i hate it here

you: get in line then

> it may be due to his newly acquired talents and his current mental and physical prowess but he has become more perceptive towards you. he can always read you and know just what your mood is and he always tries to make you feel better by giving his whole attention to you.

> of but of course, since dear jin-woo has become quite the looker, you also notice how girls flock over to him. and especially miss hae-in (she’s very sweet yes, but hey that’s your man so like—). the moment you discovered that she left her guild to join jin-woo’s, and then confessed (well basically she did) to your man, well you were upset but really who could blame her? instead of taking your frustrations out on her and your boyfriend, you decided to just talk it out with jin-woo and ask him about how it went. the two of you cleared it out and you got kisses and maybe even more after that ;))

> you and jin-ho are menaces to society when you are together, he hates how endearing and annoying you two can be. i mean, does he really hate it? nope, he absolutely loves seeing you two interact, although his head always throbs when you two start screaming to britney, gaga, and doja.

> a tease, he has become the master of being a tease, you hate it and love it at the same time. he’d trail kisses down your neck to your thighs and leave some marks then he’d suddenly walk away while asking you what take-out you want. rude, that’s what he is. ofc he always finished what he starts tho oop-

> he always randomly bites you now, you don’t know why but it’s really cute when he starts nibbling so you let him be.

> so extra when he tells you that he loves you. he professes it in such weird but adorable ways. one time he had printed out ‘i love you so much’ on a big-ass tarpaulin and had his shadows hold it for him while he’s kneeling down smoldering at you. you hate him so much (you don’t-). or that one time he bought a bouquet basket and had a ring tied to one of the flowers, you had to take the bouquet apart since the damn ring fell to the very bottom.

> sometimes when he gets back to the agency after his dungeon raids you and jin-ho would see him all grumpy and you immediately know that either he wasn’t able to make the enemy his soldier or his coat got ruined.

jin-woo: *sad noises*

jin-ho: that’s okay, you can kill and slaughter the others and take their souls next time

you: jin-ho couldn’t you have worded that better-

over-all, he’s the bestest boyfriend, such a sweet and handsome pretty boy much strong and reliable we love him<333

-•-

- a/n: i can add more to this if you’d like!! just hit me up again lmao it’s too long now so-

[manekicatwriter]

hellooo! i was wondering if i could make a request for an modern au sbi x gn sibling reader where they’re around 17-19, and they’ve got depression. they’ve had to go away for a few weeks after a bad episode ended in an attempt and they were hospitalized and sent somewhere for rehabilitation and now they’re coming home and they’re all anxious and quiet and stuff- so the boys do their best to like comfort them and reassure them that they’re loved and they belong there? i’m sorry if that’s an awkward request, i was just recently discharged after a similar situation and honestly the comfort would be great. it’s totally your call if you chose to write it tho, i understand that this is a difficult and triggering subject and not everyone is comfortable with writing things like it. if you aren’t comfy please feel free to just ignore my ask! <3

you’re here, and that’s what matters.

TW: mentions of attempted suicide. please proceed with caution.

hey! i just wanted to let you know that i’ve been through a similar situation and understand how you feel (though my case was not as severe). i wish you a safe road to recovery.

note, i think you asked for their characters but it leant itself towards their rl versions. i have a feeling the dsmp versions would be too chaotic for this sensitive subject.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!! please do not be afraid to send in an ask. ANON IS ON!!

Phil:

- phil was very scared about you being so gravely hurt, it kept him up for some nights. thankfully, you pulled through.

- he visited whenever he could. if he couldn’t, he was busy making sure coming home felt as comfortable for you as possible while also educating himself on how to take care of you.

- phil would listen to how you felt, and be understanding of your feelings.

- “You don’t have to tell me why you did it, I’m just glad you’re here,” pulling you in for a warm hug.

- when you got back home, he made sure he and the boys had prepared your favorite dinner and desserts.

It was the day you had just got home from rehabilitation, and you two were sitting on the couch. You hadn’t said much, you felt like you had nothing to say. Phil had asked for you to sit down so you two could talk, one on one.

You couldn’t meet his gaze. “I’m sorry,” your voice started to crack. “For making you guys worry about me.” Tears started to form from your eyes and you wept into your hands.

Phil immediately reached over to you to hug you, letting you cry on his shoulder. “We don’t blame you. We don’t blame anybody. I just want you to be here safe with us. Let it all out.” He pat and rubbed your back soothingly as you kept crying. But it was a good cry. He was just glad you came home.

Tommy:

- even though many see tommy as a loud and obnoxious boy with a general disregard for others, we all know deep down that’s a persona. he will go out of his way to make other comfortable in his presence if he truly cares for them. which he does, for you of course.

- he wants to make you happy! when the time is right, he’ll crack jokes and offer to play minecraft with you.

- would tone down the yelling. not because you asked, but he’s afraid of triggering you. treats you like glass. if you notice he’s being quieter than usual and you don’t care, you tell him you don’t.

- if you’re feeling it, he’ll take you out to fun places and to eat. nothing that’s too outlandish like a theme park, but just enough to have a reason to get out of bed that day instead of sleeping in.

It had been a week since you had gotten home and Phil had instructed you to maintain somewhat of a schedule to upkeep yourself. Right now was your nightly routine, washing yourself, brushing your teeth, and finally sliding under the covers. It felt nice. The blanket of sleep consumes you easily…

…

Until you bedroom door opens you’re being aggressively shaken awake. You groan, shying away, but they’re persistent.

“Ey, wake up, it’s morning!” Tommy shakes you again.

You realize you didn’t dream, but think nothing of it. “Tommy please, what do you want.”

Finally, Tommy pulled your warm sheets from over you, making you flinch. “I wanted to go out to the park today! Feed the ducks! Yeesss!”

You sighed. If you didn’t comply now, Tommy will refuse to stop nagging you for the rest of the day. You rolled out of bed and into the bathroom. You could very clearly hear Tommy’s cheers.

You two had gotten ready, eaten breakfast, and said goodbye to the rest of your family so you could head over to the park. It was close enough that it wasn’t unbearable to walk to. Even if you weren’t completely yourself yet, you were glad Tommy was.

After the short walk you two finally reached the park. Tommy immediately bolted toward the pond and you jogged behind. He had already started throwing the ducks some seeds, and even threw it on a duck. It didn’t seem too pleased.

You two sat at the edge of the pond as you watched the ducks eat. “Hey.” You hear Tommy call to you, and you turn your head to him.

“Can we talk about what happened? With you? Is it okay?” You could hear the uncertainty in his voice.

“Go ahead, what is it?”

“When Techno found out what happened to you, and told us the news, I was scared shitless.” He let out a sad huff. “I thought we were going to lose you.” Tommy kept his eyes fixed at the pond in front of him. “I’m sorry, I really shouldn’t have brought this up. I’m just glad you’re okay.” He sighed.

You put a hand on his shoulder. “Oh Tommy…” You started, “I’m sorry for making you worry. You shouldn’t have to feel like that because of my actions.”

Tommy was lost in thought for a moment, before finally speaking up, “No, please don’t apologize. It’s not anybody’s fault this happened, right?” You nodded.

Tommy stood up, dusting his pants off from the grass. “Come on now, let’s go get some ice cream!” He pulled you up from the ground.

“Last one to get to the shop has to pay!”

Immediately, Tommy bolts in the direction to the ice cream shop, and you catch up to him. No matter the circumstance is, he never seems to fail at putting a smile on your face.

Wilbur:

- i HC wilbur being the oldest, being older than techno by 3 years and older than tommy by 8, like IRL. :]

- i think out of all of your siblings, wilbur exudes the most “protective older brother” energy, yeah?

- remember when tommy lied about his mother being in trouble and how worried and anxious wilbur got? turn that up to 11 with what happened with you.

- with wilbur being the oldest, he of course had the responsibility of taking care of everyone. but somehow you and him didn’t spend as much 1 on 1 time as much as wilbur did with his other siblings

- wilbur definitely was going to change that, realizing that and not wanting to make that mistake again.

- he decided that finding a new hobby with you wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

You were sitting at the dinner table, being the last one there. You were poking at your food for the most part, and Wilbur got home late from… whatever Wilbur thing he was doing. Phil cooked pasta for dinner tonight. Wilbur put down his bags at the door connected to the garage. “I’m home! What’s for dinner?”

“Pasta.”

“Mmm, I love some good ol’ pasta.” He said, already taking a plate out to serve himself. “Also, hey, I bought something I wanted to build with you. Do you mind?”

You finally looked up from your very interesting pasta. “Build..?” You had no idea where this was going.

Wilbur placed his plate on the table and approached the bags of groceries, going through them to find the bag he was looking for. He pulled out a LEGO set. More specifically, a LEGO City set from the looks of the box? “Wilbur, how much was that?”

He blinked at you innocently. “It was only, like, £25. And look! It’s got a little submarine we can make with a rock and ugly sea monster—“

“But why?”

“Why not? It wouldn’t hurt for you to do something new, yeah?” He smiled at you, shaking the LEGO box in front of him to show it off. You sighed, but smiled. “Alright. But maybe you and I should eat this pasta first before we start building.” Wilbur nodded.

“Speaking of water, don’t you think I could teach you how to swim or something?”

“Oh, fuck off with that!”

Technoblade:

- i think out of everyone in the family, he understands you the most in terms of how you feel.

- not suicidal, but just generally having depressive episodes due to his ADHD.

- techno’s generally closed off, but started to really open up to you because he wanted to show he cares, even if it meant going out of his comfort zone.

- techno suggested journaling. once a day or once per week, it didn’t really matter. just as long as you could write down your feelings somewhere.

- he didn’t explicitly say it, but he also bought a book for himself so he could do it along with you. although, he more often than not just forgets to write in it until you mention your own journal.

- if you want to be sad and quiet, you can be sad and quiet with him. his room is a safe space for you if you ever need it and you’re always welcome to come in, just as long as you knock first.

With one hand on your mouse scrolling through the internet, and another resting your head on it, you were safe to admit you were utterly and completely bored. Honestly, you thought about taking another nap after your last one, but a knock on your door stopped you right before you pulled the covers over yourself. “Can I come in?”

You rose from your bed. “Come in. Oh hey Techno.”

He gave a simple wave and his signature “Halloo.” He walked right over to you and handed a journal and a ballpoint pen. “I got this. For you.” His stare was sharp but you could sort of tell he was nervous.

“What for?”

“I dunno. Writin’ your feelings down or drawin’ or somethin’. Whatever helps you vent.” He scratched the back of his neck.

“Oh Techno, thank you. That’s very sweet of you.” You gave a slight smile, but saw that he still had another journal in his hand. “You have two journals?”

Techno raised his eyebrow in confusion before looking down at his hand. “Oh this? It’s for me. So we could do it together, I guess.”

You let out a happy hum. “That’s nice. Say, why don’t we go to your room? I want to see your new lava lamp and stuff.”

Techno shrugged. “Sure. I’ve got more stationary too if you want.” He waved his hand before letting himself out the door, with you following not far behind.

hi hope u enjoyed reading as much as i did writing it. this format was new for me but very fun!