#although I will say- fucken write them better???

[eowynstwin]

Hi everyone. It's been a while—exactly a month since I last posted to this blog. How have you been?

A month isn't really all that long, but it's enough time to be able to look at everything that happened and understand it better. In the end, the whole situation (I've been calling it The Fuckening in my head) really didn't have anything to do with me. I was unlucky enough to run across someone willing to hurt anyone they could for attention, but also lucky enough that everyone who mattered to me in this fandom went to bat for me.

So I’ve decided to come back to this blog. I'll be posting about call of duty again as well as posting my writing. I also plan to blog about other fandoms (I’d already been doing it anyway); I've been getting back into rdr2, for example, and there's some writing I'd like to do for that.

There’s more context which I’ll put below the cut, but that’s the most important part of what I have to say; I often regret how long winded I can be, so the rest is just self indulgence if you can forgive it. I’ve thought a lot about this choice and I’m satisfied with my decision. I hope none of you will mind.

So, lol, things were not great outside of fandom stuff when it all kicked off, though I didn’t mention it publicly because we all know by now that asking for any sympathy when you’re the target of a mob is more likely to just get you raked over the coals harder. I’m still not entirely sure about talking about all of this, but I have a bad tendency to clam up when I really should be asking for support. So:

I mentioned briefly before the accusations started flying that I was dealing with bedbugs—turns out it was actually something else, but leading up to a doctor’s visit I was convinced I had an infestation, and I was stripping my bed every day to look for them. I had alarms set to wake me up twice a night to see if I could catch them, so I was not sleeping all that well. I couldn’t find anything, but I had no other explanation, and it was driving me fucking crazy. Post doctor visit it turns out I had a viral infection. No idea where I caught it, and nothing to do but wait it out. I had a massive, gnarly looking rash all over my body, and to add insult to injury I developed a fever that took me out for a whole weekend. (I’m recovered now but I have a nifty new scar on my hip from getting a biopsy.)

Next to that, I was having some PTSD flareups of my own. This was (mostly) unrelated to The Fuckening. Now, I understand that that might be hard to believe, given “Myka’s” claims, and I can’t make you believe me. Nor will I provide details to convince you, other than to say there were some things going on in my neighborhood that recalled a period of time in my life that was extremely unstable, and I found myself irrationally terrified to go home every day. For those of you who don’t experience the symptoms of PTSD, I think it’s appropriate to note that it isn’t just emotional turmoil; I, personally, experience physical pain in my entire body that lingers for hours, days, or even weeks after being triggered. (Everything regarding this, too, is fine now. I have a great therapist and a supportive family.)

All of this to say, I wasn’t exactly thinking rationally when I decided to leave this blog and fandom. And I regretted the decision almost instantly.

However, I didn’t want to let grief make any decisions for me, and also I was still VERY scared Myka was going to hunt down my personal information and either dox or harass me elsewhere. I think this fear was justified; it has happened to other writers in this fandom before.* So I decided to take some time to cool off and watch the situation develop without me.

I don’t think I need to get into the details—although if you’re interested in them, @fulltacs has been keeping track of the drama. Given the most recent development with the four obviously sock puppet blogs that popped up and immediately began stirring shit up again, I realized Myka probably would have done what she did with or without me. I just so happened to give her the ammunition she needed to do something REALLY big. It was pure bad luck.

(Also—and I’m sorry if this is just stirring the pot, but after everything they did to me I feel I deserve to make the accusation—I’ve suspected for a while that the two loudest blogs leading the witch hunt against me were far more involved in this farce than anyone has assumed. I have no proof and I do not want anyone to do anything about it on my behalf, leave them the fuck alone. But I will not forget the distress they caused me for a long fucking time, and the only way for me to let this go is to say my piece. So there. Done. Let that be the end of it.)

Having this hindsight, I feel comfortable coming back. I’m still very touched by everyone’s support, which in the end was louder than the harassment. I also think it’s important for people who care about fighting racism in any community not to run at the first sign of trouble, which I did, and I feel pretty sorry for.

That’s the gist of things. If you’ve read all of this, thank you for doing so!

*I was going to add a paragraph about halfmoth-halfman’s situation but decided against it. For one thing, she wants to be left alone, and for another, talking about the experiences of fans of color, particularly black fans, deserves its own post separate from my white experience, if I should even post about it at all.

[coldresolve]

i understand why you say "torture doesnt work for information" but like in one story, in one instance i wouldnt say its NOT POSSIBLE, like all characters you work with are different. some people would say the truth after torture (or even from the mention of it, like they get scared), some would get defiant, some would lie, etc. it all depends on the character and their personality.

i think boxing it into "every time it will, under NO CIRCUMSTANCES provide good information" is just as bad as saying that "every time it WILL provide good information", because we are sticking to a trope once again, although not as "harmful", but it's still not realistic. personally i think if you use torture in your story, at least have variety. yes, do have characters that "break" or give info, but have some that dont, etc. like dont have all your characters the exact same. different people react to stuff differently.

you cant say for sure that it will NEVER get them their info. you can still make it a point that its not justified, just because they got the info, the torturers can get traumatized too or maybe get demoted by someone who doesnt approve of their method of getting info ("enhanced interrogation"), but straight up saying it will NEVER EVER get them their info is just as unrealistic. like honestly if someone tortured me i would straight up rat on anyone. wouldnt try to be defiant or shit. just saying.

(this is not that i dont agree with what you say because i do, im just saying it's not that clear cut and there is variety and different personalities and such)

ehh. well first things first

like honestly if someone tortured me i would ...

just stop. you don't know. you can't predict how anyone might react to torture, yourself included.

i think your issue is that you don't understand how thoroughly torture sucks as an interrogation method. it's not just about "people react differently" it's about how torture itself functions. extreme stress fucks with the areas of the brain that are responsible for memory and cognition, it's why memory issues specifically are a part of the diagnostic criteria for ptsd, for example. pain has the capacity to change the physical fucking structure of your brain. torture, in this way, actively destroys the information you want to learn. plus torture makes people say whatever the fuck they think they need to say to make it stop. plus the fact that nothing in the infliction of pain works like a truth serum, people are just as likely, if not more likely, to lie. torture is by far, from everything i've read, the worst way to get trustworthy information out of a reluctant subject. blackmail would do better. coercion would do better. the fucken reid technique would do better, though that shit also has massive flaws. the moment you bring physical abuse into the equasion, you are shooting yourself in the foot

you could write a story where someone shoots randomly into a crowd and, by sheer luck, hits a pedophile. the issue with a portrayal like this isn't that randomly shooting into a crowd and hitting a pedophile is impossible, it's that you are portraying randomly shooting into a crowd as a valid method for hitting pedophiles. thats just not how randomly shooting into a crowd works, you know

[landwriter]

🦅 and 🤗 for the fic asks?

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants? I usually have a sort of jot-note thing figured out but it often includes dialogue, specific descriptions and actions, etc, as much as plot stuff. Even when I'm pantsing something, if it starts getting long I'm gonna inevitably have THOUGHTS which is unfortunate because I have no MEMORY so the outline/notes are kinda an absolute necessity. When I write without I'm topping out at like, 1K, and frowning very hard while doing it hahaha

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started? Well, I'm new to fanfic writing myself - I finished my first fic in mid-October. So I can relate to the getting started part, but can't say if it's good advice or not lmao. What's really helped get my feet under me more so far is:

Read widely across genres - for me, the sound of language is so inspiring. Fuck with poetry. Crack some sci-fi. Listen to Beowulf being read. You will also be exposed to SO many cool craft-based bits and bobs - structures, mechanisms for suspense, character development, etc.

Be patient with your ideas* - I wait as long as possible before writing something because I want the idea to be as large and hungry and champing-at-the-bit as possible before I start making it real. It's also so much easier to make changes when you don't have stuff written already, and it feels better to stop and let things percolate when you're not already 3000 words deep (although that happens and it's okay too). The more I know an idea and what I want to do - even if it surprises me later - the more confident I feel during the process and frankly us brand new fic writers need every gram of it we can get!

Be patient with your writing too - you might be slow as fuck, dude. Slow as FUCK. That's okay. You'll speed up but only if you keep chipping away and engaging in the act of writing. I know. Brutal.

Follow your gut and your happiness! Do the weird stuff you've never seen. Do the self-indulgent stuff you've seen a thousand times before. Trust yourself. Honour your tastes and preferences above all else. Which leads to:

This might be a mildly hot take but you don't need fandom spaces or other fanfic to write, and you're more likely to develop a singular and interesting voice if you let your writing develop outside of them and be influenced by other sources too. It's appealing, when new to something, to try and embody Correct Form and Conventions. But I think you gotta know what you want from your story more than you know what people will expect from it. I would challenge you, no matter what you're writing, to try and put out of your head what fic is 'supposed' to look like or sound like - honestly, you've probably read enough that it will inform you regardless even if you're not trying consciously to embody it. So let go of the product and get neck-deep in the process. Get weird! Get sexy! Chase that idea down like the feral fucker you are! And fucken send it!!!

*for the research-inclined I will pointedly note you also have to know when it's time to START writing - this isn't a paper that needs cited sources (unless it is, then please send it to me, I'd like to read it) - it's a story WITH and BUILT UPON information. Push yourself out of the nest when you sense you're dawdling and give 'er. You can always fill in bits later! I promise!!

Lastly - you are NEVER TOO OLD / TOO LATE / TOO ______ to start writing. Never ever, I swear it. If you're thinking about it, do it. Don't wait for permission or encouragement or a sign from above. There's at least one story inside of you. And I want to read it!

(fanfic writer emoji ask)

[sevlawless]

also i just remembered another reason i made arabella was bc i wanted to make a detective for twc to ... romance .... ad*m 🤮 and thank god that didn't even work bc i can't imagine her putting up with all that AND i can't imagine her not being with morgan <3 LMFAO

Lmaoo, speaking of twc I would love to know your thoughts on the characters of twc including the non ros and ur mcs. Lemme just say one thing I've never hated a fictional character more than Rebecca. She's one of the most annoying characters for me that I have encountered and that's a lot saying from me bcs I am usually quite indifferent or tolerant of most characters. /lh 😭😭

not u wanting me to revert back to twc brainrot LMFAO but i will answer this just for you <3

under the cut because i talked too much PER USUAL

my mc's and their li's:

felicity and nate - i love them when i don't think abt book 3 🤩 LMFAOKSKSNSNSKS but anyway felicity is rlly my precious sweet baby who wants to be with nate SO BAD but she is so hesitant and scared bc of past experiences and i loved how that was going before book 3 ... after book 3.... i can't think abt it without getting upset KSKSJDBD

arabella and morgan - MY TWO BADDIES HAVE U EVER SEEN A HOTTER COUPLE METHINKS NOT! but arabella is just along for the ride what are feelings? she doesn't know she's just a very in the moment girlie but is slowly realizing that she likes morgan more than she thought she did... it's so funny when i was playing twc bc they both don't realize how in deep they are like dumb gay bitches who can't talk abt their feelings bc they don't KNOW what these feelings are >>>

violet and felix - they are so cutesy i love them sm 🥺 violet is my super smart science girlie love her and her purple hair tremendously .. she's definitely the most sane out of all my detectives LMFAO and adores felix they're just a lot alike in their humor and are just PERFECT for each other !

alyssa and adam - now . LMFAO this is where it gets so unserious because in all honesty i decided i wanted to try and make a bimbo detective and have her romance adam bc can u imagine the hilarity of adam not finding love for 900 years and when he does it's with the dumbest bitch alive KSKSJDBDDKD it writes itself! but as much as it pains me to say this i do like them together even if they are the hardest game of siblings or dating ever LMFAO

non-li's:

tina - I WORSHIP HER IF TINA HAS NO FANS I AM NO LONGER ON THIS EARTH ETC. she means the WORLD to me and i wish she was a li SO BAD

bobby - i hate him detest him loathe him even but i can NOT deny the deliciousness of the ex!bobby path it is like a brother to me LMFAO it's so angsty and u already know it makes me so sick thinking abt it

douglas - my son i want better for him and i wish that hag gave him a better plot line because he deserves way better than whatever tf she did to him in book 3 😭

verda - LOVE HIM DEARLY although he's never any of my mc's besties bc i love tina too much LMFAO and bc he freaks tf out abt the supernatural and i don't feel like dealing with that!

rebecca - the bane of my mfing existence i am right there with you i am first and foremost a rebecca HATER and she should be rotting in hell !!!! rook should have lived instead idc <3 she is so fucken annoying even typing this out my eye is twitching thinking abt her bitchass LMFAOKSKSNSBDNJS

[genderfreakxx]

The moment in umbrella academy where Luther is like “we should like?? Have a party or something?? I don’t just wanna brush past it because I love him??” And Diego is just like “for the love of- hey Viktor- Luther wants to make sure you feel loved. Do you feel loved?”

And viktor sorta shyly goes, “yeah. I do.”

So Diego’s just like “good. Because you are. Anyway- the world is fuckin ending. Let’s go.”

And Diego walks off and Luther compliments Viktor’s haircut- just-

I love it, it’s just so fucken accurate to the story line and not at all out of place and it felt so natural and good and aaaaaahhh god they really just handled Elliot’s transition so god damn well I’m cryin just a bit

I never thought I would see someone even close to me portrayed in a show I like and it wasn’t even a big deal-

The fact that the strife between Viktor and Alison didn’t have any impact on his transition- yeah, they did Alison dirty as fuck and that was worthy of criticism (because like seriously, they did Alison dirty with that characterization) but it didn’t have any impact on the trans plot line and I can’t thank them enough for that, at the very least

[roguestarsailor]

You know what since we’re still in quarantine and i have nothing else better to do, i need to obsess over ACOTAR. I don't like a court of frost and starlight. For the longest time I couldn't figure out why I didn't like it. I aggressively read the book in maybe a day and I closed it feeling frustrated and annoyed. My version had A Court of Silver Flames preview so that definitely contributed to my annoyance greatly.

It's because it felt too perfect. Everything that had happened -- after the entire war was fought and won, they just go back to their normal lives? Yes there were hiccups and yes there were still aspects that made every IC character feel like their problems aren’t solved yet...but it didnt feel right. yes i enjoyed the snowball fight between the bat boys, feyre + rhys sexy time, and those little comfort moments too, the slice of life type things and seeing feyre accomplishing her goals and how hopeful the future seems BUT its too fast. the good parts of the book did not offset the bad parts of it.

Feyre literally accomplished pretty much every single goal she made back in ACOMAF just like that?? within a span of what a few months? a year?? She really came back from an entire war -- probably the first war of many since she's immortal and just like that, after her 21st birthday: she gets a whole entire estate, wants to start poppin babies, opens her art studio and starts teaching kids and then acting like she can rule an entire court?? the timeline is sooo short esp since its been brought up over and over again how everyone is literally 500 years old and have a super “messy” history and their changes seems to come super dupe slowly. but feyre, who has only lived 0.000000002% of her fae life, is out here thriving just fine???

the war devastated thousands of illyrian soldiers where its changing the politics of the illyrains and the faes, all of whom feyre has responsibilities over too as high lady. the mortal queens are still at large who left the humans on prythian to die which is why feyre was willing to go to war in the first place! what about the rest of hybern and their land and residents?? they wanted to enslave humans for social and economical reasons! then what about integrating humans w deep hatred and fear with deeply prejudice fae??? there’s also spring and summer court who are literally in ruins. thats literally so much. so idk how feyre is just chillin???? she gonna let rhys do all the hard work???

like feyre sit down. u should not be having a baby. esp since it took u literally a 700 pages to heal from those 3 months UTM. ur telling me shes gonna whole heartedly bring in a newborn in a war devastated world, with civil unrest (illyrains, other courts), with the messiness of human and fae integration, with trauma u and rhys will have to continue to overcome esp after THIS war??? even helping ur sisters w their traumas??

this is a personal opinion on this subject (and maybe my thoughts will change on this later on; opened to other thoughts) but when i read the part about how that weaver/seamstress artist who made that dark quilt that feyre loved talked about how her mate of 300 years didn’t come back from the war and her biggest regret was that she didnt have a kid to remember him by i just thought ur kid isn’t some sort of memorabilia. don’t have a kid to keep the memory of ur mate alive; have a kid cuz u want a kid purely for the sake of having a kid. ur memories and photos and shit will keep their memory alive but its not having a kid. some primitive need to keep the genes alive maybe?? but the way it was phrased and then in turn how feyre was like oh i need  a baby pronto cuz rhys might die in the next war and regret not having a kid with him didn’t sit right with me. also the other couple were together for +300 years and have a rich life together, while shes been with rhys for literally two years THATS NOTHING IN FAE YEARS. thats still the honeymoon phase and also ur problems arent even close to being over!!!

everyone was shitty to nesta. in ACOMAF, we saw how much the IC went through and still did all they could to help feyre. what made them not think nesta deserve the same welcome? nesta is mean as a defense but did no one try to figure out what would help (amren got close but shes so under developed)??? feyre knows nesta feels too much and yet she continued to be shitty. continued to flaunt her wealth, her status, her familiarity/borderline know-it-all attitude about fae/night court, her ~estate~. forcing nest to the solstice party when nesta was literally like i dont belong, im looking at everyone through a window type of thing; the fire cracking triggering her, etc. what kind of power play was that when she made nesta come to her estate, where nesta could SEE how ~homey~ and how suscessful feyre is and fully see all the lovely paintings of everyone feyre loves that explicitly exclude her to tell her to fuck off to a war camp?? bro???? cas was a dick too and elaine was rude. i think a lot of his actions were meant to make her angry since anger keeps u fighting (as was the method of rhys for feyre in ACOMAF) but what he said was stupidly shitty and i demand that he apologize properly. elaine could have done more to help her sister but whatever. mor was definitely an ass too (and im upset for how little her character growth is). 

Lucein. that man can’t catch a break tbh. im happy that hes w the band of exiles cuz he is whole heartedly accepted there. feyre was definitely an asshole to him even tho he helped as much as he could throughout the books. he tries so hard w elaine as well and it did hit my heart a bit when she was like gloves to work in my garden?? no ?? i use my bare hands see oNly aZiReL sEeS mE fOr WhO i Am. and at the same feyre is like flaunting her mate status to lucein which is mean as shit. its like this man can’t find love in prythain. then tamlin sending him his box of his things??? thats for sure brutral. tam was literally his partner through it all; savior of sorts even. no love from IC, no love from elaine, no love from feyre, no love from tamlin, no love from autumn court rejected everywhere! also HIS TRUE FATHER?? HEllo??? 

then on tamlin. i pity the guy! was i suppose to feel that way??? it felt like he is allowed to get a redemption arc and maybe i’ll even root for a redemption arc??? i was absolutely excited for freysand in ACOMAF but after ACOFAS, im like tamlin is....not completely bad??? his relationship w feyre was bad and the controlling parts were very much a no-no. i dont truly understand the dynamics of an abusive relationship but i can understand that it can be insidious and its the little things that hurt the victim. and i felt  feyre through ACOMAF and rooted for her to escape her abuser! but then it felt like i dont think he was doing any of those things out of malice. ill say tamlin is a bad leader and doesn’t know how to run a court outside of what he sees his father do. his understanding on everything is based on the traditions of the past which i think fueled most of the things he did i.e. not telling feyre she was in danger since maybe his mom didn’t do those war planning things. ACOTAR showed how he truly cared/loved and took good care of feyre and her family. he even talked about how he didn’t believe in the enslavement of humans! i think that tam wanted to preserve what he thought was the good (aka feyre + her love of painting) and get back a sense of control that he and his entire court lost while chained to amarantha. but at the same time, i think he truly thought feyre wasn’t safe. he knows rhys can crush minds and knows feyre can’t read/write so when he got that letter telling him shes safe of course hes gonna flip shit and made a deal w the devil (although those temper outbursts were DEFINITIVELY not ok!!!). he also didn’t listen and has sense of he knows best when feyre was not the type of person. but feyre destroyed his entire court. he lost all his sentries who literally went out to die for him during amarantha’s reign. he lost lucien too; his trusted right hand man. his people were cursed for 50 years and then continued to suffer UTM and was in the process of rebuilding too!  but just seeing spring court, WHO BORDERS THE HUMANS, be in ruins where his subjects left him, his people left him and hes all alone in the manson?? that was sooo sad. so im like why does what feyre did not feel satisfactory????? im mad that it didn’t feel right??? maybe there wasn’t a point where feyre talked to tamlin -- like really talked to him esp w her new found voice and power, etc. anyways, i dont hate tamlin and was like oh shit i think feyre fucked up a bit there.

rhys is a dick to nesta. which made me think, if feyre wasn’t his mate would he extend the same love and care to her???  i loved how he tried so hard to make sure feyre was ok. made sure she wasn’t breaking! all of it! but for nesta, he had the audacity to use his high lord voice and be an ass overall. even tho he can see how cas is fucken in love??? even just how he talks to cass feels off too. 

i’ll even go as far as to say because of how terrible ACOFAS was, it created this intense divide within the fandom. i remember reading the first three books and was absolutely 1) rooting for freysand  2) curious about the sister relationship and how it will be mended 3) i definitely didn’t hate nesta nor did i hate elaine either -- but i was adament about them talking it out with feyre for those tough times 4) saw a more realistic and charming healing arc 5) was rooting for feyre to be a stronger voice and grow into herself 6) love the dynamic of the inner circle + feyre

but after ACOFAS, I have this intense need to defend nesta and was super mad at how she was treated after the war and in turn a deep dislike for elaine for both her lack of agency, lack of grit that made all the other characters interesting, and lack of care for her sisters (who showed how much they would risk for her). i dont hate rhys but i was extremely not happy with him and his attitude and behavior. feyre became more arrogant and was acting like how asshole rhysand would act. like her life is perfect now and i was not rooting for her anymore. freysand didn’t feel like they have complimenting qualities that made them interesting in the first place but rather they are merging to become the same person but in a bad way. that mind reading thing was cute in the beginning but it became insufferable since all thoughts were shared so seamlessly it made reading feel weird. 

anyways those are my thoughts on ACOFAS. it was a 1/5 stars for me and im mad those events transpired. reading the other books made me excited to know what was gonna happen and i was truly ready to accept the characters as flawed and nuanced as they are. im not mad about character not liking each other but i am mad that everything felt off. ACOFAS just felt regressive in some parts and forced in other parts. i know not everything ends in a nice tied up bow but this book single handily ruined what i thought about these characters in the worse way possible. this book wasn’t suppose to wrap up all the problems that exists in the other books but it didn’t feel hopeful like i thought it would. it didn’t feel wrapped up and didn’t feel like i should be excited about the next books. theres so many missing pieces i feel that i think need explaining and at the same time, i think it introduced too many problems at once which made it feel like its jumping around everywhere. although im still excited for ACOSF because i love nesta, and nesta deserves so much better and i want to have hope that this bad ending will either make sense later on or it was just a blimp.

[poptod]

Pull the Stars Out of the Sky (And Gift Them to Me), pt. 7, (Ahkmenrah x Reader)

Description: Protection.

Notes: idk when i started writing smut so willy nilly but here it is, another fuckening. Pretty big warning though: dubious consent. It’s clearly consensual later on but at first there is no given consent. WC: 6.8k

+

He had yet to leave your side, taking you with him in every which direction as he, in his own words, marketed himself. It was a process that consisted of being charming and making witty jokes; simple things that had people trusting him. You stood mostly silent beside him, wringing your hands, stuck in distant thoughts. If anyone referred to you, you didn't notice.

They did, though––but if anyone asked about you, Ahk would make up a quick explanation, one he knew you wouldn't mind.

Your silence was originally your constant state, traipsing about the palace with a chain keeping you at Ahk's side. Over the short course of time between Amun first awakening and coming to stay with the Persian nomads, he had already grown used to your laughing, the snide comments always on your razor-sharp tongue, and that lively spark that filled your eyes whenever your heart thumped in your chest.

"You're quiet," he murmured as the two of you walked. You gripped reins in your hand, keeping your camel with all your bags beside you.

"I don't... like travelling with people," you said through gritted teeth, side-eyeing a group of whispering friends to your left.

"It's safer, isn't it?"

"For you," you mumbled bitterly.

"Oh, you're above joining in a caravan?" He said with a teasing lilt.

"I am simply experienced in this," you said, sure to speak under your breath, "and I know how to take care of myself."

Due to the size and needs of a caravan such as Mahud's, you would need to stop thrice a day, each time setting up a little bit of a home at the riverside. Inbetween those breaks, your legs ached with a familiar burn. Long walks had been your staple for a long while. Though your long break from the lifestyle had left you a little out of shape, your previous experience allowed you to navigate your way back in without too much trouble.

Ahk was taking the physical exertion overall well, despite his aching hunger. The stops would allow him to eat, a fact he was very happy to learn, going by the massive grin on his face when you pointed it out. At a few points he was partial to complaining, but always ceased if you glared at him.

The next stop for the slow-moving caravan was by an outcropping stream flowing from the Nile and out into the desert, allowing a small oasis to grow further from the river itself. Although there appeared to be no fruits growing on the tall trees, a few men and women took up nets and spears, wading out into the water to look for fish.

Numbness filled up your legs as you collapsed on the ground, leant against your camel who had also drawn to its' knees. Heat had already pooled in your face and in your feet, burning from the long day, and ready for anything to drink.

"Here," Ahk said as he rounded a bush, kneeling beside you in your shady, isolated spot.

He handed a cup to you, filled with hot tea. Not the most satisfying drink, but it was safest, and you dutifully sipped away. As you watched the other travellers Ahk shifted his position, scooting nearer to you and pressing himself to your side. Instantly his heat began to overcrowd your senses.

"Ahk, it's too hot for me to be touching anyone," you said, shifting away with your back to him.

You probably should've expected him to pull you into him and keep you there, which made you feel all the more foolish when he did it anyway and you didn't expect it at all.

"Ahk..." you whined, half suffocated by his arms wrapping tight round your chest, his face buried in the back of your neck.

"Mmm," he hummed as he took all of you in, nuzzling you with his nose. "I am... tired."

"I'd be astounded if you weren't, but you can't sleep. It's still day and we won't stay here long," you said matter-of-factly, pushing his face away from you.

"I'll just keep you here," he decided, his voice muffled through the fabric of your shirt. "Sleep forever."

"Right," you said, rolling your eyes.

You wormed out the moment he loosened his grip, much to his disappointment.

By nightfall the distant murmurs of a city sounded from ahead, blurred with singing crickets and the steady flow of the Nile beside you. Ahk had spent the rest of the day trying to cheer you up, mostly with bad jokes, but the sentiment was nonetheless there. Still, being surrounded by people for the past fourty-six hours had already taken its' toll. You hardly spoke, your chest felt caved in on itself, and your eyes were trained on the ground below you.

The city ahead, while heralding certainly crowded streets and filled taverns, would suffice as a hospice away from people who had come to learn your name. Whispering in your ear, Ahk informed you this was the city Piye had wanted the two of you to stay at for a little while. If things got worse, you'd move further south, and if they got better, you would return north down the nile.

While at first you tried to sneak away without Mahud noticing, Ahk insisted on giving the man a proper good-bye, and backed this up with the fact that you had been lent a camel. You wouldn't be able to take it with, but it was still a nice consideration for the trip to Aswan.

"We'll be stopping here," Ahk said once Mahud's attention was on the two of you. "We're to meet a friend soon."

"Ah, then I wish you safe travels," said Mahud, patting Ahk on the shoulder with a firm hand.

"Thank you. To you and your family as well. Will you be staying here tonight?" Ahk asked as he gestured to the outer markets of the city, filled with traders who came from far away to make their living, and couldn't afford a roof over their heads.

"I believe so. Tomorrow we make our money and head off again."

"Good luck to you then," Ahk said, silently urging you to say your own farewell.

"Good-bye," you said quietly, bowing your head respectfully.

As you entered the outer rim of the city, the first thing you noticed was the quiet. It wasn't all that late––the sun had set only a little while ago, and it always did that much earlier in the day during the colder months. So you kept your footsteps quiet, instructing Ahk to do the same when he didn't pick up on the eerie silence.

With no one around to direct you every which way, you had to rely off what memory you had of Aswan, as little as it was. You had visited several times, but never for very long. Most of the city was still unexplored to you.

The long light of burning torches cast itself upon the street in front of you, approaching from around the house to your right. Instantly you were darting for cover, hiding the whole of your body behind a large barrel, while you watched Ahk look around the corner.

"Ahk, you fucking idiot, get over here," you hissed, the pounding in your heart begging him to listen to you.

He looked over his shoulder, finding you mostly-hidden, and quickly made to do the same. His spot was on the opposite side of the street, guarded by a practical wall of broken-down stalls. Once Ahk was fully secured you slipped back behind the barrel, calming your quickened breath as footsteps passed you by, numbering somewhere in the tens.

Only when you were fully assured that whoever passed you was not coming back, you joined Ahk in the middle of the road and continued onwards.

"Did you get a look at them?" You asked immediately.

"Yes, but... I'm not sure if I actually saw what I saw," he said, his brow furrowed intensely.

"What does that mean?"

"They had these.. heads on them, feathered and beaked, with massive eyes. Fucking jacked, too," he muttered, pausing to check both ways before crossing the next street.

"Like your Gods?" You asked.

"Like Horus," he said with a nod. "What on Earth are they here for?"

"Just guessing right now, but they might have something to do with you."

He took your hand, and after a long while of searching the streets, you found yourself at the step of a tavern whose lights had long gone out. Again, strange; neither of you remarked upon it, but you did turn to each other with dubious eyes. The smell of mead still came from it, not yet soured or rotten.

Ahk took a cautious step forward, reaching for the door and easily pushing it open. Inside there was the expected darkness, surrounding the knocked-down chairs, broken tables, and spilt beer. Both of you stopped, your shadows stretching before you on the wooden floor as you scanned the whole of the abandoned room. The bar, where you were sure there was once an attendant, was left unmanned and covered in shattered cups, sticky with sweetened alcohol.

The door behind you swung shut, making you whip around. Fortunately it was only Ahk letting go of the door, leaving it to join you nearer to the center of the room, where you could try and peer over the counter.

"Um..." you said.

"Good evening," said a voice, accompanied soon by a man popping out from behind the bar. "How may I help you?"

"Uhhh.. what... what, uh, happened here?" Ahk asked, his expression contorted as he glanced around the room.

"Nasty Egyptian soldiers. They've wrecked up the place, and every time I fix it they come back in and ruin it, so I stopped fixing it. The party's upstairs, if that's what you're after," he said with a too-bright grin on his face.

"Really? And they don't notice that you're up there?"

"Well, they are bird brains," the man said as he leant in, though spoke in a much quieter voice.

"Wait, are they the soldiers with the bird heads on them?" Ahk asked as a revelation came to him.

"Yes, sir. Where've you been?"

"Travelling for the last couple days. How long have they been here?"

"About a week or so now," said the man, looking away as he recalled. "Heard they're crawling all over the other cities, too. So you folks want a room?"

"... sure," you said in a quiet, low voice when Ahk failed to answer.

He handed you a wooden coin with a symbol engraved with fire, informing you that the door with the same symbol was yours. There were no locks and he made sure to tell you that, as well. After offering to carry your bags and earning a 'no,' from you, he pointed you up the stairs, and returned to his spot hidden beneath the bar.

"Odd man," Ahk whispered to you as you climbed the steps.

"Ahk!" You scolded, hitting his shoulder. "We're still in earshot."

How the Horus soldiers hadn't managed to find this place was beyond either of you, as the moment you entered the upper floor you were bombarded with the tunes of dancing music, twirling and playing with the veins of each listener. The thick scent of searing meat filled the whole of the room, rivalled only by the scent of sloshed beer. Most of the food and drink came from a single corner, where a large cask of beer had been set up alongside a furnace, where the one manning the food also managed the distribution of drink.

All around you, people sat and stood, dancing in the middle or resting on the sidelines. Every crate and usable chair was taken up, most people taking seats on the floor instead in great groups of public conversation. You instinctively grew closer to Ahk, trying to keep as far away from others as you could, even as he began to wade through the crowd.

"Hey, don't you think it's a little loud in here? Won't the soldiers find us?" Ahk asked a random stranger, who had happened to stand as the two of you passed her by.

"Egyptian soldiers are hardly valued for their intelligence, young man," she said with a knowing chuckle, before continuing on to the bar.

"Told you," you murmured in his ear as you watched her disappear in the crowd.

"Oh, shut up."

After setting away your bags and manually jamming the door, you rejoined the party on the second floor, partaking in what food and drink you could afford. Piye had given you a good deal of money, but you had no way of knowing how many days or months you would have to stretch that amount across. It was better to keep a good eye on your finances, something Ahk didn't know much about, and left in your capable hands. Though, that hardly stopped him from complaining.

"We got more food when we were staying with Mahud," he whined, his cheek squished against your shoulder.

"That's because it didn't cost any money," you said.

"You are a cruel lover."

"I am, but this has nothing to do with that since we are not lovers."

"We're not?"

"No," you stated, leaning your head back against the wall with closed eyes. "We are, at best, accomplices."

There was no ignoring the sudden change in his energy. He grew quiet, as he so rarely did, and hardly moved to breathe.

As he sulked, you took care to remind yourself of what he was capable of––the strange things he'd said to you, even if they weren't entirely harmful, that had set you in a month-long mood of unease.

"You will stay here. Any attempt on your behalf to leave and I will have to punish you. Understand?"

"Then I am a prisoner," you said, your voice hoarse and broken.

"You are what you make yourself," he said in a much more stern tone, looking down at you with knowing, wary eyes. "If it is a prisoner, then so be it. But you will be, throughout all actions and situations, mine."

"I..."

"You belong to me."

He had not relented in his usage of that claim. In times of peace, in political unrest, he had kept you with him. In times of great bounty, of danger and uncertainty, you had not left him once, and you wondered how sick you would've gotten if you were to go back in time and tell your freshly-met self that you would spend the longer half of a year with him.

You supposed that, in the end, you had joined his collection. The only catch was that it cost him everything else in his ownership, including his kingdom. And yet he seemed perfectly content to lean on your side, even if harsh words came before the silence, and to wait till you returned his affections.

As he touched your shoulder, his muscles went lax, letting him fall limp against you. The moment he intook your scent he was gone, hypnotized by his own adoration for you.

Though your mind fell into a quiet stupor, dancers still circled the room in beat with music. For a moment you wondered how they'd react if they found out the Pharaoh was in their midst.

Aswan was a very Egyptian-type city considering it was still within the borders of Nubia. That meant less worker camps, less fear of Egyptian soldiers, and less knowledge on the impact the Pharaoh stressed upon higher up Nubian cities. Keeping that in mind, you assumed they would try to cozy up to him––spend some of his riches, flirt a little––however it was also possible they worshipped Amun and had already heard of Ahk's treason.

Music began to fade from your mind as the faint sound of footsteps sounded from below you, seeping through the cracks in the mud and wood. They appeared more succinctly the closer you listened, and soon you could identify the number, all marching in unison.

"Ahk," you shook him awake, eyes trained intensely on the floor, "we need to get out of here."

"What?" His sleepy face gave way for concern. "What? What's happening?"

"There's soldiers coming," you said, your grip on his arm tightening.

"Well – the man at the front said they come by every now and then. They haven't found the upstairs yet, they probably won't now," he said.

Muffled voices muttered from below the floor. Ahk opened his mouth to speak again, but you quickly silenced him with your hand, carefully tuning back into the conversation beneath you. A loud crash was followed by silence, and that combination had you jumping to your feet.

"What is it?" Ahk asked, much more panicked now that he noticed your own fear.

"They're coming upstairs," you said as you backed up through the crowd, disturbing those you bumped into.

"They're – oh fuck." Ahk's expression dropped. "The soldiers are coming!"

Ahk yelled his warning over the music, certainly loud enough to assure the soldiers that there were, in fact, people up here. Lutes and harps stuttered to a halt, the pounding of footsteps now clear through the walls.

Panic seized the partygoers. People trampled over one another reaching for their belongings casted aside, hurriedly adjusting them back onto their bodies and making for the windows. Like rats they climbed out, writhing over each other into a mass of fabric and limbs, followed eagerly by you and Ahk. Massive backpacks made it so you were the last out and the only two to see the soldiers yourselves.

The pounding door had you stuck in a trance, only able to back up towards the window. As it slammed open, you finally caught sight of the falcon-headed soldiers, their sharpened spears and sharper eyes, staring empty-minded at you as Ahk pulled you out the window.

"This way!" Came a voice from above you.

You and Ahk quickly looked up, finding a young woman offering you a hand from the rooftop. Ahk took no hesitation in grabbing it, allowing her to hoist him upwards. When he reached down to find your hand, he felt nothing, and panic struck his heart like a searing knife. He ducked his head down, watching the room upside down.

Muscled arms wrapped around your chest and face, blocking your mouth from making practically any sounds at all. The only sound you could make was from kicking your legs frantically.

He jumped back to his feet on the roof, spinning round to the woman who had helped him.

"I need a sword," he said in a rush, desperate eyes already begging.

"Um – ask Imar, I believe he has one," she said, pointing to the man who worked at the bar downstairs. Ahk thanked her in a rush and left.

"Imar!" He called as he jumped from one building's roof to another, approaching where most of the party-goers had gathered. "I need a sword, or a weapon of any sort. Crossbow even."

"I've got a sword, but I need it. There's a stock of axes over there. Don't know who they belong to, though, so take at your own discretion," he said. Ahk once more gave his thanks before running off.

The kink in your neck had only gotten worse the more you struggled, spiking pain down your spine and into your skull each time the soldier's golden bands pressed into the side of your neck. Your already travel-worn shoes were now nearly in shreds, pulling and pushing on the rough gravel roads, occasionally cutting the soles of your feet open. Thus far you had not been allowed to speak, one massive arm nearly cutting off your oxygen supply.

Although you couldn't tell for sure where they were dragging you, you assumed it was towards a temple, as the buildings around you slowly grew more complex and well-kept. A temple seemed a proper place where you could be thrown into whatever underworld Amun lived in.

Being a commodity fought over should've scared you more. There was a panic seizing your nerves, but you were numb to the surprise, instead saving your energy till you could outsmart the soldiers.

Squawking interrupted your harsh breathing, crying out from behind the falcon soldier. You opened your eyes to the dark of night, spying through the shadow-filled alleyway a running figure, followed by the heads of soldiers falling from the city's silhouette. It was then you recalled a very important fact––Amun and his soldiers might've been strong, but Ahk held within him a hunger unlike that of the starved. The hunger of the rich––of pigs and cannibals. A hunger that terrified you to your core.

The first soldier in your sight that emerged from the shadow of buildings soon stopped in its' tracks, tumbling down past its' own knees as the falcon head slipped off human shoulders. Your shocked eyes watched intently, darting upwards to see Ahk with a broad axe.

His blade came down on the last remaining soldier walking behind your captor, blood splurting from the veins and splattering on his face. Much of it landed on your foot, leaving a trail of red as you were dragged, legs still shakily kicking.

He held a finger up to his lips, hushing any muffled screams that might've come from you. Whatever he had planned, you let him do what he deemed necessary, and kept quiet to avoid the suspicion of the soldier restraining you. He raised his axe high above his head, as though he were to strike you down. Terror filled your eyes when the blade came screaming down, splitting the soldier's head in two before it could ever reach you, leaving no mark on you but the pouring blood of the falcon head. The grip on you loosened, and as you pushed yourself away the corpse fell to the ground.

Blood and nerves squelched as Ahk tore the weapon out of the skull, a horrible crack resonating in the empty street when the base of the skull finally split. He panted, droplets of blood falling into his open mouth as he turned to you, eyes frozen and wide.

"You alright?" He asked softly, in a tone so out of character from his current state.

"... yeah," you breathed out.

The axe clattered onto the ground, followed shortly by Ahk falling to his knees. From there he crawled the short distance to you, gently wrapping his arms around your middle, and pulling you into his lap. He buried himself in your neck, hid away in your warmth. The blood covering his midsection soaked through your shirt.

"Ahk, we need to leave, you know there's more of them," you said, though you did not cease in stroking his hair.

"I know," he mumbled, pressing himself tighter to you for a moment before releasing. "They didn't hurt you?"

"Nothing but bruises," you huffed. "Let's go."

You kept near the entrance to the tavern as Ahk wandered back inside, checking behind the counters and in the attic for any trace of the fleeing people. From the roof you could hear muttering, though you couldn't see anyone, and you could vaguely make out the words they were saying.

"Are you the one they're looking for?" A woman asked.

"I did anger an Egyptian god, yes," Ahk said with a curt nod.

"Imar!"

The man from the downstairs bar appeared from over the horizon of another tall rooftop. He was drenched in sweat, practically glowing in the dim moonlight.

"Yes?"

"These are the ones they want," she said, gesturing to Ahk.

"Really?" He said as he dusted his hands off. "The hell did you do?"

"I, um, attacked a God in order to save my.. um... Amoke," he answered rather sheepishly.

"You cannot stay here," Imar said firmly.

"I'm sorry, but we have many other people looking for protection. We will not risk them for two people who have private business with whatever kind of God you worship," the woman said.

"I understand. Keep safe. Do you have any ideas on where we could go for the night?"

"Try the old graves up on the hill. They hate desecrating the dead," she said before sending Ahk back off down the stairs.

Footsteps drummed for a moment before the door swung open, revealing the Pharaoh still covered in blood. By now it had dried, leaving much of it to flake off his clothes and skin, now a muddy brown instead of the vibrant red of before.

"Have you ever slept in a grave before?"

"What?"

You had expected him to ask, considering what you heard of the conversation, but you weren't wholly convinced he would actually allow himself to sleep in a tomb.

"A long while ago, I died for a little while. Well, I guess not that long ago. Two or three years. My brother killed me," he began as he started off down the steps, taking you with him as he directed you through the streets, "and I was buried. Piye returned from their banishment shortly after and dug me out of my grave... used their gift to give me life once more."

"... you're really expecting me to believe that?" You asked, almost ready to burst out laughing.

"You saw Amun come to life. There are flowers growing out of your arms. What part of my story is unbelievable to you?"

"Right," you mumbled. "Good point. So... did you sleep in that grave or something?"

"It's complicated, but I was conscious for some time, locked underground. Not Piye's magic. Khonsu's, I believe. Either way, it's not horrid if you have someone with you," he said, patting you on the back with a smile.

"Did you have someone with you?"

His expression fell, the hand on your shoulder going with it.

"I did," he said softly, offering no more than a bittersweet twitch of his smile.

Ahk caught it before you did––the trampling of numbered footsteps, growing steadily louder the closer you came to the upcoming street. You remained within your own thoughts, plagued by questions, and mostly ignorant to the slowing of his pace. Eventually he had to grab your hand, forcing you to hide behind the shadow of a tall building. You opened your mouth to say something, but he set his hand over your mouth, staring at you with an intensity that had terrified you only a little while earlier.

"They're coming," he mouthed in your ear, breath barely passing his lips as he spoke.

Steps grew louder and he pressed himself against you, squishing you to the wall with his chin on your shoulder. Pressure tightened around your chest, constricted your breathing, hastened the beat of your heart as you relied solely on your hearing.

Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.

The clattering of armor, weapons, and shields rang through the marching steps, sending the imagery of shining, sharpened stone and arrows glinting in the moonlight.

"We need to go," he said beneath his breath.

Before you could ask what he meant, his hand encircled your wrist once more, pulling and forcing you down the other side of the alley. Chirps and squawks came from behind, making your pulse rush and swell beneath your skin. They would find you––bird brains though they were, they were still soldiers of a God, with eyes adapted for darkness. They would pull you into their hell and murder your... your Ahk.

Your Ahk.

You arrived back in your body when Ahk turned into an open, empty street, running uphill as he trained his sights on the tomb-filled mountains.

"We're not actually going to stay in a grave, are we?!" You asked as you ran, trying desperately to keep up with the long strides of the former Pharaoh.

"It is our safest bet," he said, tightening his grip on you. You still attempted to squirm out, however fruitless your struggle, and the proceeding panic had you soaked entirely in fear.

He kept you running till your legs burned, till he was fumbling over his own steps, too full of adrenaline to fully control his feet. Pebbles, rocks, and dust filled your sandals, scratching at your skin as it clung to your sweat. Your throat was still too tight to take in enough breath, leaving you part-way wheezing. Soon your own legs began to give way, scraping your knees and palms across rough dirt.

"Come, up," Ahk muttered as he helped you back to your feet, casting wary glances towards the city still ringing with the cries of falcons.

A few more minutes of scrambling up unused paths and you came to the foot of the hill, where the first graves had been set up. The long tunnels led into darkness, to a place you had never been before, where death would paint every wall. Few things in life truly terrified you––death was not among them, but the cruel afterlife of the Egyptians did. The tales you'd heard of the spells necessary to memorize, the weapons, the escorts, the protective magic one needed to have to brave what they called Duat had done that to you.

He didn't take to the first grave you saw, whose door was sealed shut from the outside with rope and wood. In fact he took you past halfway up the hills till he finally found a hole in which to hide, shoving you into the overwhelming darkness, and shutting the door partway.

All that you could hear was the trembling of your own breath, echoing in the empty, dank chamber. Despite the chilling cold the ground beneath you seemed wet, as though it had rained within the earth.

Clicking came from somewhere in front of you. Instinctively you pressed yourself against the wall, surprised to find not a cave wall but a carved granite wall. A flame burst before you as you realized this, revealing the whole of the cave, each wall covered in paintings of life and magic. Hieroglyphs lined every scene, rivalled only by the collection of yellow and white stars painted onto the lapis ceiling.

Your eyes scanned the walls around you and the ceiling, wandering down the pillars and towards the dirt floor. Across from you, Ahk leant his back against the wall, a flicker of light dancing on cloth ripped from his skirt. Now the material covered only the upper half of his thighs, leaving little to your imagination as he drew nearer to you.

"I'm afraid Nubian graves don't quite compare to the luxury of Egyptian graves," he said, setting his hand on your knee and running it up your thigh.

"When will we leave?"

"When our hunger becomes too great."

Ahk might've had good impulse control and lots of self control, but you did not.

"That'll be in days!"

"You're not very patient, are you?"

"Not when I'm stuck in a fucking tomb!"

"Screaming won't do you any favors, Amoke," he reminded you with a quirk of his brow.

Though you hardly had the consciousness of mind to recognize what he was doing, his hands had set to separating your legs, wedging himself inbetween them instead.

"I don't think the volume of my voice has anything to do with our predicament," you said scathingly, crossing your arms and turning away.

"Well, no, but you will hurt your voice. And my ears. This is a small room."

He had a point, but you were adamant in your decision to avoid his gaze. So instead you looked to the floor, your arms still crossed, and a small pout on your lip. Your eyes widened as you felt warmth on your neck, soft and somewhat wet. Ahk was kissing at your neck, one hand dangerously high on the inside of your thigh and the other squeezing your waist, in the middle of a tomb.

"What the hell are you doing?" You asked, beginning to worm in his grasp. The curt movements soon turned to struggle, your heart racing as he simply held you tighter, biting harsher at your neck.

"I could've lost you so easily today," he said softly between the ministrations of his lips.

"Amun almost kidnapped me, too, and you didn't act l –" he bit down and you gasped, "like this."

He simply chuckled and continued.

"I wanted to," he admitted after a moment. "He had no right to do anything to you. I've already lay claim."

"What?"

"You're mine. I found you first." Motions began to grow rougher, hands tightening on you as kisses became hurried and desperate. "My beautiful little toy... I won't let you go, never."

"Ahk, we're in a grave," you said, attempting to pull his hands off you.

In one swoop his hands caught yours, pinning them above your head. The weight of his body still rested between your legs, keeping them apart, and allowing him access to push and grinded himself against you. His strained breathing kept your shuffling feet company, a distraction from the heat welling in your stomach.

"Ahk..."

"You are a most beautiful sight," he murmured against your flushed skin. "Truly fit to be a god yourself."

The fear rushing through your blood was one unfortunately familiar––that same fear when you first met him. When he tied you to his bed for hours. When he stood above you with angered eyes, scanning the whole of your over-exposed body.

"This isn –"

"You told me you didn't love me... do you remember that?"

"... yes," you said, still unable to meet his eyes even as he pulled away to look you in the face.

"Then I suppose I have nothing to lose," he murmured, leaning into gift the softest of kisses, barely gracing the bow of your lip, "as all I want in this realm is your love."

"And what of your kingdom?"

"My kingdom is my duty. I do not enjoy ruling, but it is something I must do for the safety of families who now rely on a government to protect them. You, however..." he trailed off for a moment, biting into his bottom lip with a grin, "... you I enjoy very much."

A quick kiss to your lips and he resumed what he started, letting your entwined hands fall in favor of feeling you. His touch slipped up your shirt, feeling the heat of your skin until it grew too much to bear, and he began untying the knots of your clothes. Once he pulled the fabric off your shoulders, he leant back to pull his own coat off. The space gave you ample time to wriggle out of his weakened grasp, though you barely raised to your feet before he grabbed your ankle, pulling you back down and scuffing you in the process.

You turned onto your back, watching with heavy, quickened breaths as he pulled you to him till your hips met, hands and piercing eyes pinning you into place. For a split second an image flashed before your eyes––rope in his hand, silk beneath you, and a servant watching it happen. You shook your head to clear it away, opening your eyes in time to see him lay you flat on the earth.

"I love you," he murmured with a reverence so deep you could swear there were tears welling in his eyes. The hands on your hips slowly ran up your waist and over your chest, squeezing and teasing your senses. "Beautiful..."

He dipped down, like a hand of God descending from heaven to grasp the unholy that sits beneath. Kisses landed on your sternum, trailing up towards your neck, where his nipping teeth had already left dark marks. Unsure what to do with yourself, you let your hands sit above your head and allowed him to do as he pleased.

"I have waited forever to indulge in you," he said, the heat of his words beneath your jaw.

Your eyes flew open.

Haji warned you about this––or maybe it was Naguib, but he didn't seem to like you all that much. Either way, you recalled a spare bit of information given to you concerning the Pharaoh; he might've originally locked you in the castle to have his heirs. Was this what he was doing? Giving into what he'd first taken you for?

"Will you give me this?" He asked, inches away from your face, your leg kinked up upon his hip.

"What?"

"The easiest form of love," he said through a crack in his voice. From here you could clearly see what you'd spied earlier––tears. "I cannot seem to win your personal love. But I will take anything you give me, and I want this."

"... what?"

He ground his hips into yours, till you could clearly and distinctly feel something hard pressing against you. A soft groan fell from him. Part of you already knew what he meant, but another part was still stunned into stupidity, your wide eyes nothing but empty.

"I need you," he murmured.

Even with all the thoughts in your head, you couldn't manage a single word. Your mouth hung open, gasping when stimulated, but mostly silent with your own confusion. There was an appeal to Ahkmenrah––his beauty, his intelligence, his humor. Quite the array of good traits even without the fact that he held massive amounts of power, or did at one point. Yet you still couldn't let go of what you'd seen him do. It loomed over you like an eclipse, blocking your thoughts and stilling your mind in its' presence.

He didn't have the strength within him to stop himself. He would need your ardent refusal, even though he knew silence was a quiet no, to regain his control. It was a funny thing, seeing him so desperate––a man as composed as him, as aware of himself as him would be remiss to be such a shameful sight.

And it was you.

You driving a Pharaoh to his knees. You taking a man whose very essence was his control over his identity and tearing his image apart. Making him a devil in his people's eyes. You weren't even asking him to ruin himself, to take himself apart just to appeal to you even in the slightest––he was doing that himself. Willingly.

Your chest felt concave upon itself as he continued, numb to the realizations in your head. He pulled off your skirt, the ties in your clothes, till both of you were nude, him still locking your body to the ground. From this angle he could thrust against you, almost fucking your thighs as your wetness grew. Gasps and moans built in your mouth despite your efforts to keep an even expression. He delighted in your own embarrassment, laughing when you squirmed with your eyes shut tight and a hot blush on your face.

"Gods, you are... perfect," he said, devolving into a long, soft moan as the head of his cock began to prod at your entrance.

A rush of excitement––or perhaps just the simpler anticipation––ran through you, and you couldn't stop the sounds that left you as he pushed in. He stretched you, filled you perfectly, and for a moment you wondered if you had been denying yourself a taste of bliss. 

As he kissed you, bitter iron filled your mouth and painted your tongue. At first you wondered if he had bitten too hard (or if you had), but in a short time you realized it was the dried blood, still caked onto his face and body.

Blood passing between your lips. Mingling with your breaths and moans. It became hard to distract yourself with the forceful thrusts of the Pharaoh above you, your mind instead set fierce upon your sense of taste, and the watchful, hooded eyes Ahk looked down on you with.

He soon noticed your sudden daze, and his thrusts slowed down, going deep instead of fast.

"Are you alright?" He asked softly, though he didn't stop his movements entirely.

Your wetness squelched slightly, making you shut your eyes tight with embarrassment, your arms coming to hide your face from sight. Of course, Ahk was having none of that––he took your arms, carefully pinning them to either side of your head.

"A little shy, are you?"

"... this is my first time," you finally mumbled, turning away so you wouldn't have to see his reaction.

"Oh."

He stopped grinding into you. But you couldn't help yourself––you wrapped your legs around his hips, pulling him back into you and moaning when he was fully sheathed.

"Fuck," he groaned, eyes rolling up into his head. "Perfect little pet."

He pinned you to the floor as he finished, keeping you from scrambling away. There he kept you, warm on his cock, filling you with his seed as you whined helplessly.

Although he made an effort to take care of you, gently stroking your skin and kissing away what marks he made, the whole of the day left you both exhausted, and the bout of 'exercise' certainly hadn't helped. In the end you asked him to stop worrying and simply sleep at your side; he acquiesced, using his arm as a pillow as he faced you.

"Still hate me?" He asked, and though they would've been teasing words out of anyone else's mouth, you found sincerity in his expectant eyes.

"No."

[scrambled-eggsed]

1 + 2 for one of your WIPs?

1 - give short descriptions of all your current WIPs

Ahhhhhhh this might get slightly long so sorry in advance [I apologize for NOTHING]. They dont really have names so this is gonna be fun to keep track of

There's one that's basically almost autobiographical lmfao, where a genderqueer lesbian teenager is figuring himself out. It's really self indulgent bc the two main characters are the nb girl and her teacher, and they get p close, and the teen in basically in love with their best friend (romantically? Platonically? Who can say [=maybe I'll decide when i figure out my own feelings about my friend]), and her story mirrors the story of the teacher, who is in a qpr with another woman. Basically it's self indulgence about how i need a dependable adult figure in my life. I'm gonna move on to the rest cuz they're not nearly as depressing as this

Space pirates - i still haven't worked out everything but I'm thinking of maybe doing two parallel stories, where basically one group of overworked workers on a spaceship are considering a mutiny so as they're planning the thing they're telling the story of the first space pirate crew from earth to overthrow the captain of the spaceship and take command for themselves, and how they oparated and how those supposedly legendary people were actually just people. Like they have the auras of greek heros but all the stories people tell about them are actually about tenderness and care and the simple goodness of humanity

WITCHES - I'm still tryna figure out a plot that isn't entirely a The Owl House rip-off, but basically the world is where magic is fundamentally about a connection w nature. And not everyone has that connection and that's okay bc nature can't provide everything so there are essentially two coexisting societies with ties that benefit everyone (it's a utopia - witches basically have "shifts" in the fields to grow an infinite amount of food, and the non-witches give them essential products). When it comes to characters, the main character is a girl who comes from a non-witch family and basically Has The Connection With Nature (which is not uncommon) but her family is relatively conservative so she gets a lot of Looks and mild disapproval from them (yah this is basically a queer metaphor). And basically she goes to live with an old lesbian witch couple at the parallel witch town. And I'm thinking maybe the witchs' son will be a non-witch and will go live with the girl's family (thats also a queer metaphor although i haven't figued exactly how. Anyway he's gay. The witch girl is also gay)? Basically Found Family Shenanigans. But it's not exactly a plot yet

Magic World™ - i have a few ideas for stories in this world (maybe I'll just write a bunch of short stories? I dunno) but i really like this world!! Basically magic is entirely about curiosity and kindness. The world will literally sense your intentions and will not let you do anything Evil with magic. And there's this whole thing where if you become evil out of good intentions the world will not let you pass it on to anyone. So if you don't redeem yourself, the world will not let you have kids (as in, adoption basically - there's no biological reproduction [i started thinking about this when i was twelve okay]. If you want a kid, the world will sense that. And when the infallible world will sense that you're ready, you will just wake up one morning and there'll be a fucken baby outside). So every idea for a story i have in that world is basically about villians redemption arcs but fun ig? Listing all of them would genuinely take forever so im Not Gonna Do That Here. Also the way i explained the world is a bit rudimentary and there's more depth to it but it's hard to explain without a plot lmao

Seedbombing gone wrong - this is my most recent one i think. Basically a bunch of kids try to do seedbombing at school bc the school cut down a beloved tree and then there are So Many Flowers Just Everywhere bc the ground was Magical. Also one of the teacher is a witch/fairy and will explain shit to the kids. Idk i haven't thought a lot about this one but it's a fun idea for the future

My fucking god that was so long. Goddamn

2 - give short descriptions of the main character from one of your WIP

Well fortunately for those of you who decided to read this far i dont exactly have many fleshed out ideas for main characters. The only one from a story where the main character isn't literally me that i know what they're gonna be like is the captain of the legendary original space pirate spaceship from the space pirates story. Basically I'm imagining her like Lovelace from wolf 359 (a combination of her pre and after trauma. Also I'm only about halfway through the podcast so no spoilers) - so generally a fun person and cares deeply for her crew, but feels like everyone's fate rests on her shoulders and is dealing with So Much. Oh if the question was about physical description then idk really? I just know that she's gonna be a woc (it makes so much sense for the worldbuilding but i could talk about that for hours. In the same vein, she was also in prison at some point. Bc the system discriminates heavily and deliberately against people who were in prison. Again i could talk about that for so long lmao). Also she's gonna have a romantic arc with the ship's appointed doctor bc Tenderness and h/c. Cuz basically she needs to learn to let herself rest and what better way to do that than the cliché of a loved one pulling the doctor card on her

That got WAYYYYYYYY longer than i expected so sorry lmfao (fr tho i apologize for nothing)

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

What You Deserve

A/N- This is not actually part of the story, its a unused story that I spent a couple weeks writing so I didnt have the heart to delete it although I scrapped it from the original story line. So please know that I did use some of these scenes in my rewrite. 

Summary- 5.7k Curtis Evertt and Y/N. Early Years. You sit with a dying member of the train and listen to her talk about her late husband, and the idea of Soulmates crosses your mind. Do they exist? 

Warnings- Death, Almost a Non Con situation. Curtis having doubts that hes good enough. Boom, got them all I think. 

You sat with the older woman, Sheri for some time that day, perched on the end of her bunk, one leg folded underneath you and one dangling over the edge, her hand interlaced with your own. Sheri was dying your mother informed you that morning, and you simply couldnt let her pass off all alone. Your fingers interlaced with hers in that moment, yours young soft and supple, to her knobby jointed ones, age spots sprinkled across what felt like paper thin softness, like you press to hard it would fall apart. Every now and then a weak wet cough would spring forth, and you would lean forward to pat her mouth softly of any spittle that happened to escape. It was the least you could do for her, try to let her keep her dignity.

“Child, you shouldnt be here watching this.” Sheri would sputter, hazy eyes narrowing at you, knowing you wouldnt leave even if she was to send you away.

You shrugged, and resettled the blankets. “Where else would I go Sheri? Mom and Dad have everything all set in the medic bay, and I got lonely. Who better to keep me company?”

She snorted and coughed once more, raising her hand to wipe at her mouth before you could. “Hmmm, well Curtis comes to mind.”

You blush a bit and look away, which she grinned seeing your lovesick reaction. “Uh huh... Sheri, hes just a friend. And hes got better things to do. Like getting ready with McGregor.” Sheri rolled her eyes at you, and shifted to make herself more comfortable. “Child, ive see the way you two look at one another. I might be old, Im not blind. If you two would just admit your feelings are more then friends, then who knows. Might be the best thing you ever experience. I remember when I told Nathan how I felt. He was all stumbling over his words, spilling it as well.”

You chuckle at her memory, remembering Nathan well when you first came on the train, he was fiercly protective of his wife, and doted on Sheri, loved her with his last breath. You encourage her to speak more of her past, how Nathan and her had a whirlwind romance that ended with the two of them eloping. How when her father found out, he banned her from the house, and the first home she shared with Nathan was nothing more then a room with a bathroom, it was all they needed to start. “It got better, he was accepted to a university, and worked as a janitor at night, I was a waitress in a small off the interstate diner, along with babysitting. It was hard, but we appreciated all that we had.” Sheris eyes slipped closed and she mumbled. “Okay, Im gonna nap now, come back later Y/N, and we will talk some more.” the womans head tipped to the side, and you stayed long enough to be sure she was sleeping.

Drawing your way out, you are sure to slide the curtain closed for her privacy, and start making another round to see to other people, chat with them, just see if they need anything in general. You dont notice the wandering eyes following you, weaving through the people till you got to a quiter part of the tail end. You didnt notice, not until its to late when an arm shoots out in front of you, making you pause momentarily as it blocked you. “What the... Eric, what do you want?” You try to duck under his arm, but the mans grasp on your arm pauses you. A glance his way showed a handsome young man, blond locks curling around green eyes, that glinted coldly at you, and he firmly without any choice of your own backed you against the wall. “See youve been playing little home nurse again Y/N”

“Just helping mom and dad, can you please let go?” You try tugging your arm from his grasp and his other hand came up to your face to trace the curve, obviously not ready to loosen his hold, for whatever reason you would clam up around him, your heart fluttering and your breath quickening. Some would think it was innocent attraction. But it was more fear of what he would eventually do to you if given the chance. 

“When you going to let me kiss you huh? I dont see why you keep fighting me on this.” He hovered closer, his breath washing over your face and you wrinkle your nose at it. It was hot and sour to you, you tried to pull back but there was no where else to go, so the back of your head would thump against the cold metal wall.

“Im not, I dont want to and you cant change my mind.” You wriggle once more trying to get him to stop digging into your arm. “So how about you go find one of the other girls? I know there are plenty who want to be with you.”

“To easy, I rather like the one who denies me” His voice dropped deeper, making you panic sightly. His eyes, you hated the way he would stare at you, following you from wherever he was, like you were a prize to be had. "I figured it's about time I change your mind about it though." You strain out of his touch on your face and go to push against his chest to stumble him back.

"I said no! Fuck no would I ever be with you, let alone kiss you" you snap at him, turning to leave, put distance between you two, back in a crowd. Eric was to coward to try to anything with people around. He snarled though, wrapping an arm around you.

Effectively he pinned your arms helpless and your back against your chest, falling back harder then you expected, making you helpless, his hand clasped over your mouth, effectively muffling any protests you had. "What you think your to good for someone like me sweetheart. If your good enough to get Curtis's dick wet, think you can mine as well without this much of a fight." Your eyes widened at his words. I haven't, were not, stop... Your panic is washing over you, and he manipulated your head to fall back to his shoulder, lemmegolemmegolemmego, you try twisting out. Then he pressed his face in your neck, and bit you, what started as a sloppy kiss turned into a bruising bite, screaming at the shock of pain and you try kicking him hard enough in the leg behind you to drop him. The tread of your boot slid down the inside of his leg, and he pushed you away from him to crash you against the trains wall, hard enough to bounce you off, making you groan from the harsh impact.

Erics hand whipped you around, effectively pinning you with his body. No way to leverage a kick again, and hands pinned your arms down to keep from attacking. "Fucken shit head!" Your voice raised into yelling at him, where was everyone? It was eerily quiet and no one around, he smirked at your struggles, dawning on you when you saw how turned on, felt how turned on. That foreign bulge dug into your belly. "Keep struggling Y/N, just makes me hard for you, so cute thinking you don't want this."

"Your vile Eric, like those front end pigs" nothing but disgust dripping from your tone, trying to hide your fear. But he knows, it just widens his predatory grin knowing your words were masking the fear coursing through your veins. His lips hovered so close, mocking tone as he brushed them barely against yours, as you tried tilting your face away. “Come on Y/N, just one little kiss for me. Do it and I will let you go.”

You glare at him and spit, right in the fuckers face, it runs down his eyes and nose, and you smirk at him as he starts cussing and wiping his face on his sleeve. “You little fucken cunt whore! Nasty pig think you can get away with that shit?!” His hand releases you and goes to hit you when a grasp catches his wrist, wrenching it back. Both yours and Erics eyes go wide in surprise, and you see Curtis glowering behind him, firmly twisting Erics arm hard, then harder again he snarls out. “She sure as fuck is gonna get away with it. I think she told you no”

Curtis jerked Erics arm further and a crack was followed by Eric screaming and letting you go, you slid away from his grasp, Curtis jerking him forward to take where he had you pinned before. They were evenly matched in size, but Curtis had him crushed between his body and metal, his face distorted as you glanced up. It struck you in this moment just how opposite these two men were. Curtis never once raised his voice in the time youve known him,but he had to raise above Erics squealing out in pain and anger. “When a person tells you no, It fucken mean no. You owe Y/N an apology.” He pulled Eric off the wall, and kicked at the back of his knees to drop him in front of you.

Curtis loomed over him, his arm still firmly twisted up between his shoulder blades, and growled in the mans ear. “Say it, or Im going to wrench it right off your body.”

“Im sorry!” you could see the effort it took Eric to say it, but Curtis clearly wasnt satisfied.

“AGAIN!” This time he really roared, Eric cowering a bit, and remorseful, he started again.

“Im sorry Y/N, I promise to never touch you again!” Curtis glances at you and nods that its okay, he had him firmly and you stepped forward, grasping the mans hair, and tipping his head back.

“Touch me ever again, or ANYONE on this train, your dead, do you hear me Eric? I will have no problem watching you die, either by my hand or another. Am. I. Fucking. CLEAR?”

“Yes! god yes, just let me go, it wont happen again.” Eric pleads, and you step away from Eric, and circle around to Curtis’s side. Shoving him harshly away, Eric rolled to a stand and clutched his arm, racing away as fast as he could. The coward, would probably make up some lie to cover face when he made it to your father went to reset the arm. You stood next to Curtis, still fuming. Your fear from earlier forgotten, now you were just enraged watching where the coward disappeared.

“Hey, he aint gonna try messing with you again.” Curtis let his hand rest against your shoulder, looking down at you. He couldnt help but admire you in your rage and fury. Your cheeks were flushed red, and whisps of your hair curled around your face, your eyes bright as you dragged in air sharply to blow it out. Then you turned your gaze, softening just looking at him, and could see you start to loose that edge of your temper. He did that for you.. Curtis gaze softened in return and you turn into him, sliding your arms around his waist and pressing your face in against his chest.

“Thank you for looking out for me Curtis.” his hands braced against your back and seemed to envelope you. If possible he would just hold you like that for alot longer, but you pulled away, keeping it just friends. Maybe you noticed the way his heart jumped, or the way his throat caught in his throat. And it had been that way for monthes now, seeing you in this whole other way. Since that night you fought him, trying to defy that you would ever eat again. Something shifted that day, and yet he held back from telling you, mentioning it. Honestly he didnt deserve someone like you, for all the blackness in his soul. It was better you two just stay this. Stay friends. 

“Your welcome Y/N, I came to let you know Sheri, shes asking for you specifically. Your mom asked me to come get you.” Curtis was about to walk you back, but your eyes widened, and you sprinted up the aisle and out of sight before he could even think to catch up. Unsure of why you were rushing, he followed along behind, and hovered nearby, seeing glimpses of your hair as you were ducked in the bunk, and worried about intruding, he inched forward a bit enough to hear you, make sure it was all okay. Your voice was soft, almost sorrowed as you spoke. 

“Im here Sheri, Im sorry I didnt come sooner...” 

Unintelligible to Curtis at the moment, it only sounded older, raspier and you gave a small chuckle at whatever was said. 

“I already told you, were friends, Curtis and I.” your voice seems to be teasing at this, and guilt at eavesdropping, Curtis turned away from the two of them, those last words echoing in his minds. Friends. Thats all they were, and all they would ever be. He had to accept it. You werent really his, and he needed to stop feeling responsible for you.  The thought alone made him feel slightly depressed and heavy in his chest, hollow. It made him feel hollow, and he fell right in line with the others shuffling to the front to collect there daily rations. 

You curled up near Sheris side, in the time you left her, she just gotten worst, and the both of you knew it really was just a matter of time now. For a while Sheri fell back into stories of the past, mixing You and Nathan up, once in a while she will talk to you like you were her husband. Her soft knobby hands grasping yours, and a smile etching on her tired face. 

“Im so tired Nathan, whats it like?” She would say with her eyes closed, and you with your head slightly bowed, trying not to let your tears fall yet, you put on a smile instead and nod softly. 

“Yea Sheri Dear, its nice. All love and kindness. You never hurt, your always warm and we can be together.” 

“But is there Hershey Bars Nathan? And dont you lie to me, cause I always know.” 

You laugh slightly at it, barely remembering them yourself, but you do your best. “Of course, every day I will get you all the chocolate you want.” 

Sheri hums as if happy, and her eyes open, looking up at you. “Oh child you dont have to stay.” Back to herself again, she folded her hands around yours and patted them softly. “Thank you for sitting with me, Nathan told me hes waiting for me, and Im ready to go... Im ready to see him again, My Nathan.” She slowed her movements and drifted off to sleep. At some point your mother checks in on you. “Want me to sit with her and you go get some sleep?” 

A gentle shake of your head and smile, youve done this before... the silent wait, the death watch. “No, its okay. I will see you in the morning.” Your mother nods with understanding, life on the train, these past 10 years made you grow up faster then you should. It did for all of you. 

You sat there with her, refusing to leave this time, still holding her hand, that was limp and warm in your own, tracing over her knuckles and along the top of her hand, aged, weathered. Nothing really last forever, and in these thoughts Sheri drifted away, in her sleep. Just as she wanted. 

When you felt her just, become a body once more, you let your tears run free now, falling in the womans blankets, while you readjust her to cover her completely, shifting to a stand a bit weak legged from the hours you were there. You went to find your mother, but see shes sleeping, both your parents are. Looking up and down the aisle, you really dont want to be alone, not now. Not after having to say goodbye. It was moments like these you missed your little brother, having someone to hold in your arms and remember all the good memories through your sorrow.

Without even thinking about it, you wander, and soon your standing in front of a bunk youve never been into, but you knew who was there. You could hear him snore softly, and shift in his sleep. A soft rustle of his coat, a shadow in the darkness. Your heart catches, and it aches. It aches for your friend, for how excited she was to see her husband again. How you dont know if she really was though. “Curtis?” Your voice is soft, your not even sure you said it. But within seconds he sleepily stuck his head out, and hand wiping at his eyes and brows coming together in concern. “Y/N? Whats wrong? Are you okay?” 

You nod softly and maybe you shouldnt, it was such an odd request but it bubbles right out of your throat into words. “I dont... I dont want to be alone, please?” Your gaze lifts and it takes him a few seconds to register what your asking for, when it clicks, he doesnt even hesitate, his hand reaching out to grasp yours and help you up. Maybe he should send you home, send you back. But your looking so fragile in the dark, alone. 

When you settled in, Curtis felt the bunk warm up between you two, and you laid curled up near his side, not touching , but nearby. Your breathing was fast paced and uneasy. Nervous... Fuck shes nervous. He turned to his side, and reached out to grasp your chin lightly to look up at him, since you had your face tucked down. “Y/N, want to tell me whats going on?” Curtis figured it was best to get to the bottom of what was bothering you, why you came to seek him like this. 

“Do you believe in soulmates and such Curtis?” You start to loosen up, folding your hands under your head as you roll to your side as well, looking back at him. Curtis brow furrowed a bit at the very odd question from you, and gave a light shrug at it. “Im not entirely sure Y/N, I never thought about it honestly. My folks werent exactly the most loving towards each other, kinda like... “ He tried to think of how to compare them to that you might remember. “Al and Peggy Bundy from that comedy. I dont know if you would even know what Im talking about. But anyways, always kinda mean to one another, but they just stayed together. Soulmates? I dont know if they exist. Why?” 

You vaguely recalled what he was talk about, the theme song playing a bit through your mind, you remembered your dad watching it, but you never paid attention to what he was watching. “Yea I know what your talking about Curtis. I was sitting with Sheri during her last bit, and she thought I was her husband. It just... she talked to him like they hadnt missed a beat, although its been years. I did my best to give her answers for him. I just, think I witnessed what that would be.” Curtis reached out and wrapped you up in his arms, understanding now that you were saying Sheri was gone. Doing that sit was never easy. Clearly this one effected you. But certainly not in the way he fully expected. 

You let him pull you in close, twisting to lean in against his chest while he held you, his hand was rubbing up and down your back in a comforting manner. It lulled you to close your eyes, and after a few moments, you heard him speak. A rumble in his chest making you stir to look up at him. At this angle, you couldnt see his eyes. “Before this, did you believe in that notion? Soul mates, think they could find each other in a life like this?” Curtis question made you pull up to sit next to him, so you could properly see him. See if he was teasing you, although he didnt have that tone he did when he was, or if he was being serious in his question. Crystal blue eyes stared up at you, with nothing but seriousness, and maybe hope? 

You studied Curtis for a few moments, and as sometimes happened to you, your heart seemed to speed just a bit, and you smiled at him softly, nodding. “I do Curtis, call me a hopeless romantic but we have to have hope right? Why not hope that we can find something so complete in even this hell.” You shrug and tip your head against your shoulder in that optimistic way before dropping your shrug. It was then he pushed up to sit as well, and he pulled at his lip with a drag of his teeth, seeming to think. You waited him out, your hands folding in your laps and looking at him wide eyed. 

Why do you look at him like that. His resolve weakening. You were so innocent looking up at him, patient as always for him to find the words, for him to decide, for him to get rid of that guilt that he doesnt deserve you in a way more then this. You were probably the reason he hasnt done anything to reckless and gotten himself killed. Fuck it Curtis... Resolve sliding over his face and his hands cupped the sides of your face, so soft under his touch, just as he knew you would be. Soft for him, he only wanted you to ever be soft for him like this, wanting to feel you press against him, the warmth of your breath whispering into his ear that you needed him. How many times had he thought this, wanted this. And now, you were staring up at him just waiting for him to tell you all this. 

“Can I kiss you Y/N?” He asked, ready to pull back the moment you looked appalled by his request, and you never utter those words, nothing changes but a quickening of your breath, and a nervous lick of your lips. Curtis wonders, have you ever been asked before? He was patient, he could wait, would wait till your ready. Its something you never admitted to yourself, but yes... you really wanted that kiss. A dip of your head and a soft “Yes” was given. 

Thumbs circled over her cheekbones, and you held your breath, waiting with anticipation. His features grew soft looking at you, raking over your face for a moment, searching for a no from you before he lowered his head and pressed his lips to yours, they were softer then you been expecting, and a bit lost in what to do. But Curtis started a light nibble, a press of his tongue made you gasp in surprise. A tentative touch of his tongue against your own, and you finally started to relax into it, exploring in your own way. Although Curtis controlled your first kiss, you felt free, a rush of your senses making you pull in closer, your hands sliding up his chest and around the back of his neck. 

Your fingers buried into the back of his shirt, and his own hands slid off your face, and down to your hips to pull you in closer, flushing you into his chest, and a rumbling moan crept from him. You were everything he knew you would be and more. Already it was rushing to his head, feeding a deep seated hunger he had been ignoring for the past ten years since arriving on the train. If he wasnt careful, he was going to do something he might regret, and pulled away, leaving you stunned, and giving a whimper at the loss of his lips against yours. How flushed you looked, shocked, even dare he say a hint of pleasure dazing your eyes. Your lips were swollen from his kiss, and that made him pleased he could make you look like this, just a simple kiss. 

Staring at one another, it was apparent that there was no going back now, no more just best friends. You were still slightly in a daze and Curtis laid back down, his hand circling your arm to tug you to join him. “We should get some sleep.” in which you stretched out next to him. You wanted to say something, but didnt know what. The kiss, unlike anything youve ever experienced and in the dark, your fingers moved to touch your lips, smiling at the memory of it now. The feelings you had for him, had been there a long time, and until now, you never let yourself believe it was a true possibility. 

Curtis on the other hand, well he was cursing himself out for what he just done. You were far to good for him and he should have known better then that. He didnt deserve you, not your honey sweet kisses he just got lost in, or the way you were so sweetly curled up next to him, trying not to intrude. Oh he was fucked... completely fucked. Why did he have to kiss you? He groaned inwards, waiting, just waiting for you to come to your senses. He was a baby murderer, it would happen soon, he was sure. You would remember what he done, and push him away, shut yourself off from him, and then in that moment, Curtis would be all alone on the train. Long after you fallen asleep, Curtis laid wide awake with his thoughts poisoning his mind. 

That next day he had disappeared before you could talk to him, and kept expecting to see him, but you never did. Which was odd, cause he had a habit of finding you at various points in passing. Only place he could be was Gilliams, and that alone made you worry. Not that Gilliam was necessarily bad, but people plotted with him, talks of trying to escape was always so sush around the man, like a man of many secrets. You scolded yourself at your thoughts, knowing Gilliam was a good man. Hes helped all of you so many times, was the leader of your people. If anyone knew you felt this way, your throat closed at the idea of what could happen to you. 

You were soon distracted by a 5 year old named Joey. “Hey, Its almost time, right Y/N?” he said excitedly as he ducked into the medic bay as if he owned the place, pulling on your coat and looking up with a glimmer of hope passing his face, you wink down at him, and take care of the last of the supplies. Whatever was going on with Curtis was going to have to wait. And you pushed the thoughts from your mind.

“Of course, whenever Minister Mason announces that we are passing over bridge, that means its a whole new year, and every new years what do we get?” tapping your finger on your chin, you pretend to ponder. “Oh what is it. They are white, and inside is all that yummy goodness. Hmmmm.... Frog eggs? No way to slimey! maybe a dog egg? Wait dogs dont lay eggs... Maybe a... “ at this point Joey is just about bouncing excitedly, finally bursting out.

“Chicken? Right Y/N Chicken Eggs?! I think they lay eggs.” a slightly confused look crossed his face. “Im not even sure what a chicken is.”  

“Oooh! Thats what they are. And chickens run around on two legs, flap there wings and are big fluffy butts.” You cross your eyes at Joey and mimic flapping your arms, making him laugh.

“Like Miz Scarlett?” He asks, and he says it so innocently, you have a hard time not laughing, pressing a finger against his lips. “No no, she certainly doesnt look like a chicken.” Although she did that one time her nice feather down coat split down the back and feathers scattered through the tail end. You all still found the occasional feather fluttering through the aisle. Plus the woman had the tendency to be a bit over dramatic, flailing her arms around whenever she had to prove a point. Joey always had been an observant kid.

The two of you chatted about what else New Years brought, while heading out into the aisle to return him back to his mother. “were gonna have a cele-celebratition?” You chuckle and repeat the word properly. “Celebration, and it will be something like that yes.” It wasnt much, usually just a bunch of people sitting around the gate, waiting for there only treat Wilford ever gave them on the train. But it always turned into a good time, people sharing stories, and once in a while a game or two was played. “Gilliam is gonna tell us right?” Joey asks, now looking concerned.

Your brows come together, and nod, giving his little hand a squeeze. “Of course Buddy, were not gonna miss out on the best day ever, right? I will come make sure your there with everyone else.” You smile at him to assure, and he pulls up, leaping into a lower bunk to crawl over to his mom. “Mom! Y/N said its almost new years, and we get chicken eggs and maybe we get to hear stories and... “ he ended up running out of air and took a deep breath. “and Miz Scarlett doesnt look like a chicken.” You end up covering your mouth,while his mom puts him on her lap and shakes her head. 

“Now Joey, you cant be telling anyone they look like chickens! Jeeze child, what am I going to do with you?” She tickled his side and he went sprawling across the bed, and rolled back up, the excitement tinging his face. “I wont, I wont... I promise!” The PA systems crackles, and you put your finger up to your lip to sush Joey, all of you tipping your head to listen. Minister Masons nasal voice crackled and stated. 

“We just passed the bridge, and another year on Wilfords Miracle Train. How lucky we have all been to be here for this miraculous day. Mr.Wilford is providing everyone a treat to celebrate, be sure to come up to the front in a ORDERLY fashion, and be sure to thank him for his bountiful grace hes bestowed upon us.” 

You roll your eyes to yourself for the fucking dramatics, but you tilt your head and sound excited for Joey. “Come on Kiddo! I bet hes got something real good for us.” The child looks to his mother for permission and she nods, sending him flying out of the bunk to grasp your hand and practically tugging you down the aisle, since its quite a walk for his little legs, he wanted to hurry. “Slow down Joey, we will get there” You laugh, and then Curtis sweeps past you and hauls the kid up in his arms, grinning at you as he turned around, and walked backwards, Joey, wrapping his little arm around his neck. “We got places to be, Dont We Joe?” The little boy gave a very serious nod and looked down to Curtis. “Yes sir we do.” 

“Okay, okay... Im coming!” You pull up alongside Curtis with a sigh like they were being ridiculous, and once they were in sight of the front, Joey started wriggling to get down. “Put me down Curits, I want to go get in line!” in which hes swung down and as soon as his feet hit the grate, he bolts away from the two of you. The both of you hang back while others crowd to form a line. You let yourself lean against his shoulder and look up to catch his attention. “Feels like youve been hiding on me Curtis.” 

“No, just been busy.” He glances at you and away, watching to make sure Joey doesnt get lost in the mayhem. Liar, hes always been a bad liar. You see right through it, and you dip around to stand in front of him. “Say that again Curtis, and mean it this time.” Your mouth curls up in a grin, and he growls a bit under his breath that he had been caught. 

“Listen, yesterday...” he starts, rubbing the back of his neck and looking down. “I took advantage and I shouldnt have.” 

“Curtis Everett, when have I ever done anything I didnt want to do?” You fold your arms over your chest and shake your head. 

“Well...” 

“That doesnt count and you know it.” Giving him a silent warning and he snapped his jaw shut. You step in closer and take a hold of his jacket, fiddling your fingers in it. “Listen to me closely, You didnt take advantage, okay, and Im not going anywhere. It wasnt bad, right?” 

His eyes widened and a shake of his head to get rid of the notion, he couldnt help but touch you again, his hands moving along your arms, up to cup your face again. “Absolutely not, it was... the best kiss ive ever had.” his face softened when he said it out loud. 

A slight blush crept in your cheeks, but to hear him say that, just made you more bold, knowing you werent wrong. You were ready for this moment, and never thought it was possible. “Then why do you fight it?” You asked as you slid up against him, and move to your toes to reach him, cupping the back of his neck, you bring him down to meet you, and more confident this time, you kissed him slowly. This one was yours, and the people started cheering around them at the announcement of the new year. But for Curtis, his world narrowed to the woman in his arms, nothing else existed or mattered for him. You fit in his hold, like you were meant to be. the soulmates questioned flashed through his mind and then you moaned into his mouth, and all thoughts went away for good. 

He knew in that moment, there wasnt going to ever be anyone else. He might not deserve someone like you, but he wasnt going to let you go. 

[r3b3lgrrrrrrrl]

A LunaTic and her Gunn (Part 88) "Bad Kids"

@creatureofthen1ght-v3

@lovemythsworld

@crystalbaby12

"FUCK!! What day is it?" Luna asks as she lifts her face after railing another line of 30's.

"Thursday..?" Colson answers her, confused.

"Time?" She asks to his 542P. "Motherfucker..." Luna mutters.

Colson asks What's Up as she lights a joint. Luna missed her therapy session scheduled at 5P, she explains with a sigh.

Taking a moment to call Kylie. Luna assures her, she simply forgot and isn't MIA. She watches Colson snort a long line of Adderall while she's on the phone, puffing on the joint.

Once she's ended the call, she passes it to him as they get dressed. Both in all black. Colson in a black T, black jeans and his Vans. Luna in an oversized, long sleeve black T. Large enough to wear as a dress. Under, she has on sheer black stockings and tight, black spandex shorts. Her Docs, jewelry and a purple lip finishing off her look.

"You're gonna skate in that?" Colson questions her attire.

"Watch me." She replies with a smirk.

"Oh, I fucking will." He grins.

Throwing her school bag of goodies on his back. Colson grabs Luna's ass and their jackets as they head out of their suite.

-------------------------------------------------

The bar at The Ambassador is empty.

Until The Ten of Them pile inside. Loud and rowdy as usual. Taking up the entire wooden row of the bar.

They order drinks as they wait for their table at the Reserve Lounge inside the hotel. An Old Fashioned for Luna and a Heineken for Colson.

Grinning, he whispers into her ear. "You still taste better."

Luna shakes her head with a light laugh. Cheeks turning pink.

"I WANT a ribeye with fried onions and mushrooms. And a fucking baked potato. I don't give a FUCK about anything else." Sam states.

She's sitting to Luna's left, while Colson's on her right. Baze, who's next to Sam, leans up on the bar to look down at Luna.

"Bro. I think your girl's my twin." He laughs. Looking at Sam, then at Luna, finally back at Sam. "We gonna fuck up some beef TONIGHT!! He laughs again as he lifts his drink to Sam's agreement.

"Who we fucking up?" Slim hollers from the other end of the bar.

"BEEF!!!" Sam and Baze shout in unison.

Erupting them both into laughter along with Colson and Luna.

Luna gives her friend a Lil Look. Sam can get along with everyone. Same as she can hold her own against anyone. Being taken advantage by no one. Sam's never been about that Relationship Life. Knowing her friend too well, Luna can read her better then her favorite book. There's a LoveBuzz happening at the bar. Luna reading the signs before Sam can even write them herself.

Luna glances over at Colson. He catches the glimmer in her eye. They both cheese at the idea of their friends together. With no words said. Just One Look.

-------------------------------------------------

Once sat, they continue to converse loudly. The Ten of Them having no volume control. With more drinks and appetizers ordered, they're even louder. And so out of place.

Their server asking his Front of the House manager to watch them. Unaware of who they are and sure of the likelihood that they're gonna Dine N Dash. Feeling dumb upon his boss's explanation. 

"I don't know how to skate..." Ashleigh complains after they order.

She's one of three. Benny, nor Bullet grind either. AJ being an undercover SkaterBoy to Luna's unknown intrigue.

"There's one of those Rent-A-Bike stations in front." Rook chimes in.

"You want MY ass on a BIKE!??" Benny asks in disbelief.

"Weeble Wobbles Weeble but they don't fall down!" Luna grins at her friend from across their dinner table.

Benny laughs. He adores Luna, he has since that night at the strip club. He fears her too. Being from NYC also, he knows what she's connected to.... And fully aware of what she's capable of on her own.

"Ya gonna catch me Brooklyn, if I weeble too far?" Benny teases.

"Fucken' right, Benz." Luna grins at him, arms open wide.

Somehow, he knows that although he's the bodyguard and Luna's tiny as fuck. THAT Brooklyn Bitch would have him should ANYTHING erupt. It's who she is.

"We riden!!!" Benny shouts to Bullet's complete bemusement.

Bullet doesn't know Luna. He thinks he likes her but he's not sure, not having any experience to trust her. Irritated with Benny, he eats his steak and sips his wine.

The Other Nine of Them are as happy as fat clams. Engaged, boisterous and fully enjoying each other. Filling their bellies with food before The Magic.

Bullet doesn't know yet.... But he will.

-------------------------------------------------

After a paid for dinner and proper tip, they head to The Bus.

Climbing on, all of them bursting with delicious goodness. Passing eight joints between The Ten of Them, they settle their bellies easily. All full. All sighing.

Sam pops up first. That Bitch wants them slushies.

Scooping the WHOLE jar, all Ten of Them wind up with full solo cups of Magic. Like fucking water ice. Sam handing out a plastic spoon with each of their solo cup treats.

"I shouldn't eat this...." Bullet confides in Benny.

"You won't survive this night if you don't." Benny reassures him as he takes a bite of sweet, delicious Magic Slushies.

Poor Bullet. He thinks he knows... But he has no idea.

-------------------------------------------------

Splitting from The Bus, they head over to the Light District on boards and bikes. Obliging Ashleigh's one request.

"It's FUCKING closed!!???!!!" She shouts in frustration.

Kansas City's Light District closes at 5P. What THE fuck kinda shit is that?? Seriously... Why?

Ashleigh's really upset. All agreeing with her that It's Bullshit.

Luna asking her if she'd like Her to Burn it Down.

Ashleigh answers with a laughing and adoring NO. The Magic of Wild Mushrooms creeping around her brain. She appreciates Luna's brass love for her, but Ashleigh isn't violent. Never has been.

"Let's find somewhere else." She coaxes her defender as she climbs back on her rented bike.

--------------------------------------------------

Rolling through Kansas City, they're tripping their BALLS and PUSSIES off. Colors are streaking. Bodies are loose. The school bag packed with water instead of alcohol. Luna handing off bottles to everyone's gratitude.l

Lighting a joint as they roll through Kansas City. Luna passes it to Sam. Colson has his own lit. Passing it to Slim.

Firing another, Luna slows her pace. Riding beside Bullet, she grins. Hitting it multiple times before she speaks...

"I'm not THAT bad. I promise." A wink and grin following her words as she passes him the joint before pushing off to fly past him.

-------------------------------------------------

"Fuck you ain't...." Bullet thinks as she passes him. Amused by the tiny blonde girl and her wild punch.

------------------------------------------------

They skate and bike around Kansas City. Watching the lights as they laugh. Passing joints and water amongst themselves as they eat their Magic Slushies.

Sliding up on a corner, Colson stops.

"Where the fuck are we?" He asks confused.

"In the Dark Pits of Hell, where we belong!!" Luna laughs, snapping his picture in the moment.

"He's so fucking beautiful." She thinks, not being able to stop her grandfather from lingering in her soul.

"C'mon Lovey!!" She shouts as they boot, scoot and boogie.

Ashleigh can't hold her shit together. Tripping balls, she doesn't know how to make the bike work anymore.

"Can we sit?" She pleads.

Always one to spot a park, Luna's on it.

"Come on, Buddy." She says, grabbing the back of Ashleigh's seat along with a handle bars.

Pushing Ashleigh along with ALL of Luna's force. There's a park ahead. The Holy Grail of her ENTIRE existence.

"We're almost there, Boo!" Luna's wide smile encourages Ashleigh's tired legs.

Hitting the park, Ashleigh drops her bike like a rock.

"Uggghhhh....." She exhales.

Luna grabs her board and Ashleigh's hand as the others arrive. She's undoubtedly Their Leader.

-------------------------------------------------

After swinging and climbing and running around the playground, they tire like little kids. Finding the perfect spot, Luna slips her bag off Colson's shoulders. Pulling out sheets as she displays them in front of their view.

All Ten of Them admire the glowing sight of Kansas City. Some standing in amazement, others sitting on the sheets in awe.

They're tripping their souls out as they stare into the sky line. Colors crossing and dancing. Bodies tingling as their third eyes see everything.

Laying and talking. The Ten of Them are curled upon the sheets, melting their faces off.

Pulling out her bag of tricks, Luna hands Colson four tennis balls to his delight. Face shining, he hops up to juggle them.

Next, she produces crayons and coloring books. Laying them out, they're grabbed by Ashleigh and Rook.

Slim finds the Nerf football. Sam jumping up for a solid toss.

Baze is stuck on the ground. Luna lighting a joint. Hitting it hard, she hands it to him.

"Fucken' Loons, Maaan..." Is all he can say in accepting pleasure.

AJ is lost in the stars on the sheets also. Magic Slushies winning. Luna handing him his own joint to his delight.

Benny is running around with Sam and Slim. Bullet still as a statue.

"Did you not drink the Kool-Aid...." Luna asks.

She had noticed his solid demeanour. Tall, strong. Relentless.

Arms crossed, he admits he had a scoop or two.

"Only a SCOOP!! BRO!!" Luna looks at him with disappointment. "We're not so crazy that you can't enjoy yourself, Sugar." Luna tries to reassure him. "I can't believe you didn't eat your slush." Luna looks at him, irritated. "What a fucking waste."

"I knooooww." Bullet sheepishly admits.

"Well, lucky YOU, Motherfucker!!" Luna grins.

She always has a secret stash. Pulling out a small container of pure mushrooms, she insists he eats them with her. NOW.

Luna's a rock when it comes to negotiating. Bullet sharing and eating the full half ounce she has stashed.

She grins as they chew. Her bright smile welcoming him into Her World.

There's a LOT going on in their group. Rook and Ashleigh are happily coloring. Slim, Sam, Benny and AJ toss the Nerf ball. Baze is still SO lost in the sky on his back.

Luna grabs Colson, dragging Baze and Bullet with them. It's football time, she calls to Benny.

"Hut!! Hut!!" Luna shouts to their colorful minds.

Their game is a ShitShow. It's hilarious to watch them toss, tumble and roll amongst themselves. None can see correctly and all of them have noodle legs.

Somehow, Luna can throw and avoid getting caught. Easily scoring a 14 to 0.

"Mothafucka, WHAT?... Mothafucka WHO??? Luna laughs.

She's never been a gracious winner. Laughing too hard.

She's caught by a "Fuuuck yooou?!!"

Along with a loving, grinning, full on body hit from Sam. They roll in the grass, wrestling and laughing. Each calling Uncle when they find themselves locked on their sides.

--------------------------------------------------

Laying in the night's sky, life comes into view. Playing Cold War Kids on one of their phones. Music drifts softly.

All Ten sprawled on sheets, they catch the beauty of Kansas City. Laying together in harmony.

Until Colson wants to take Luna away.

"Come're..." He begs

"Hmmmm..." She rolls her head up towards him.

Eyes dancing as she absorbs is face. Their colorful ensemble watching the stars like 4th graders at the Planetarium for the first time.

Colson grabs Luna's hand, pulling her out of the hype.

Yards away with only his phone, Colson holds Luna tight. She's the only one he's ever danced with outside of Casie and weird Middle School stuff. Tripping his face off, he's overwhelmed with feelings for Luna. His beloved.

In the darkness with just them two, Colson holds Luna close and firm. The lyrics to the original Swing Life Away swirl behind them. Causing Colson to hold Luna tighter then ever.

🎶Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words🎶

He sings softly, ducking his head into her ear.

She loves him. So fucking much. More then she could've ever imagined. Those blue eyes that see right into her soul. Those fingers that know every inch of her body. That heart that just fucking gets it.

Their love is fresh in her brain. Breaking her heart as her soul ignites. Believing him as sings to her that they Could Get By Just Fine on Minimum Wage.

Luna can't handle it and starts to cry. The drugs have her overwhelmed. Feelings flying everywhere. Heart dangling on her long sleeve.

"Please don't fucking die." She whimpers into Colson's chest.

He holds her as she gently sobs.

His mind is twisting too. Making him not sure of what to say. Then it pops.

"Cockroach." He states like he's answering the most important question of his life.

This stops Luna. Colson's words sliding inside her body, wrapping themself around her heart.

Feeling her sigh, he scoops her off the ground as if he's going to carry her over a threshold. With her arms draped around him, they stare into each other's trusting eyes. No words need to be said. They're the only two in the world right now. Luna strokes his cheek, as Colson leans in to kiss her.

There's a whole body explosion happening between the two of them once their lips touch. It's part drugs but mostly insatiable love.

Not even caring, in their own world, Colson slowly brings himself and Luna to the ground. Never breaking their kiss. He runs his hands though her hair, making her brain tingle.

Climbing on top of her, he holds himself up as her hands slowly trail his body. Their touch is almost orgasmic as he sucks on her neck and she slides her hands down his pants. Gripping his ass.

His free hand up her shirt dress. Sliding under her bra, playing with her nipple peircing. Pulling at her shorts.

"I need to be inside of you." Colson says in between kissing her neck and face.

"Mhhhmmm." Luna agrees.

He pulls down his pants as Luna slides out of the shorts. She doesn't understand her stockings though. Both too far gone to figure out how to get them off. Taking off her Docs not even an actual thought for either.

Colson reaches back into his pants. Pulling Luna towards him by the crotch of her tights, he stretches them out as he flicks his blade open.

Luna's heart immediately begins to race as he brings the knife towards her pussy. Slitting a hole through her tights, he rips them open. She bites her lip as she watches him.

Both of their bodies throbbing for the other. Mouths salivating as they look upon each other.

The world EXPLODES as Colson slowly slides into Luna. Both moaning out a pleased FUCK.

Colson takes his time. Gliding along Luna's clenched walls. Every inch and touch is overwhelming. If he goes to fast, he's convinced he may die.

Luna can't handle anything. Dying a thousand tiny deaths as she clings to him. Shifting into his rhythm. Kissing his mouth and face. She has to keep her eyes closed. Looking at him is too much. Fearing her heart will explode from his blue eyes.

They could've fucked for 5mins or 5hrs. They have no idea. Luna having multiple mental and physical orgasms before Colson allows himself to let loose.

Laying inside and on top of her, Colson feels at ease. There's no place in the world he'd rather be. This moment being one of his most content in life.

"I love you, Kitten." He breathes out.

"Mmmm... I love you." Luna mummers into his neck with her legs still holding him close.

"ARE YOU TWO FUCKING AGAIN!!??!" Sam shouts across the field.

Colson pulls his face out of Luna's hair to look at her. His face is still too beautiful for her.

"Jesus fucking Christ. She's like the kid sister I never had." Colson's wide eyes say in amazement.

Making Luna laugh, he pops out of her.

"An annoying kid sister." He says with a pout.

Shifting down, Colson lays on Luna's chest. Stroking his hair, they enjoy their bliss for a bit more before they rejoin the others.

"Yeah, we were Fucking. Kid Sister." Colson states as him and Luna climb back into the pile.

Who you talking too?" Ashleigh asks, confused.

"Ol sex police Sam over here." He tells her to the group's laughter.

"You're like fucking rabbits." Sam shoots back.

"That's why she calls me Bunny." Colson states matter of fact, making Luna roll on her side in a fit of giggles. It's funny because it's true.

All of their bodies riding private rollercoasters as their brains link back up. The Ten of Them talk about life, aliens, what they think God may be, if they'd like to live under the sea like Sponge Bob and all kinds of other weird shit. Figuring out the key to life. Love and friendship. Even Bullet enjoying himself.

--------------------------------------------------

Back at the Ambassador no one wants to separate. The Boys drag mattresses from the other rooms to Colson and Luna's suite. It's sleepover time again.

Collecting water for everyone, Luna dutifully passes out Xanax along with vitamins D and B6 to aid in their recovery.

Surrounded by pillows, blankets and love, they watch reruns Rugrats. Burning and laughing as they slowly come down.

Laying with Colson wrapped behind her, Luna feels so at peace. Her eyes are closed as he strokes her hair.

"I'm so fucking in love with you.... I can see it radiating off of us." Colson says with his eyes closed too.

Opening her eyes, Luna jumps off the mattress. Body flying across the room.

"IT'S NOT OUR LOVE!!! THE FUCKING TRASH CAN'S ON FIRE!!!" She shouts.

Grabbing it, she hauls ass into the bathroom. Tossing it into the tub before turning on the water.

Everyone is kinda numb, shocked or can't comprehend what just happened. Bullet taking notice that Luna's quick.

Climbing back into Colson, Luna asks What The Fuck Is Up With Them and Fire. He shakes his head, not knowing. Kissing the back of hers, he holds her firmly as they fall asleep together.

Benny turning to Bullet. Giving him a knowing eye, he warns that Tonight Was Easy.

He'll get it eventually.

--------------------------------------------------

To be continued....

[5om8ra]

8 people I’d like to know better

Rules: fill this up and then tag 8 people you’d like to know better!

one / ( alias / name ):  Salem!

 two / ( date of birth ):  June 4, babey.

 three / ( zodiac sign ):  Gemini. My talent is never shutting up. 

four / ( height ): 5′5″, which @igeon-sagiiya constantly picks on me about.

five / ( hobbies ): Writing (doy), cosplaying (or not, this year, since EVERYTHING IS CANCELLED...), kickboxing (also woefully out of practice due to the world being on fire), horseback riding (whenever I am able to see Venus and help get her lazy af gelding into shape), video games (I am not good, but the good news is that you don’t have to be skilled to play fucken ANIMAL CROSSING...), hiking (they DID open the parks here again so I can be stoked abt that at least). 

six / ( favorite color ): Blue, teal, purple, this character was really a win-win for me. 

seven / ( favorite books ): Most of Maggie Stiefvater’s stuff, although I could never get into the Raven Cycle books. Good Omens. The Harry Potter series, as long as you plug your ears and LALALALALA your way through ANYTHING JK Rowling says these days. I also have a lot of Stephen King on my Kindle bc I’ve been rereading, although I STILL can’t bring myself to finish Pet Sematary. 

eight / ( last song listened to ): Meet Me In The Woods by Lord Huron, which is REALLY good and you should listen to it. / ( last film or show watched ): Uhhh shit. I think the last thing I actually sat down and watched in full was Secret Celebrity Drag Race when I was visiting Venus? 

ten / ( story behind url ): Wanted close-to-canon url and 1337speak seemed like the best way to go about that, given the character, but 50m8r4 looked too clunky to me, so I konmari’d the 0 and the 4. 

eleven / ( inspiration for muse ): Oh god. Initially I don’t really know what started it, I just kind of suddenly got into Overwatch and was like “THAT ONE, I WANT THE SNARKY ONE.” A lot of my headcanons for her were developed in like, late 2017 after I met @igeon-sagiiya (fond memories of being wasted in the park trying to hurt each other with sad headcanons tho), and since I took a break from OW rp for a while, I have. Forgotten some of them. Lol. But it’s okay, because the archive function exists for a reason, and Venus is here for me to bounce new HCs off all the time. :3c

TAGGED BY; @deathblssms

TAGGING; @igeon-sagiiya ; @chasseurstoujours ; @crxssfxre ; @huckleberrytm ; @amplifying ; @shieldmaidenbrig ; @chasseurstoujours ; @primaserere 

[ennaih]

Writing tag game

Tagged by: @bunn1cula​ that minx

AO3 name: ennaih / aquandrian

Fandoms: wot, all of them? Orright. Rogue One/Star Wars; Phantom Of The Opera; Christian Bale; Holiday (1938); and a whole lot of real person fic including all the Mendo fic 

Tropes: enemies to lovers; literary AUs; mythological AUs; any kind of AU really; smut all the smut; hate sex leading to accidental feelings

Number of fics: 68

Fic I spent the most time on: Hmm. That’s either please come home for christmas or all this truth and consequence cos they’re long fuckers

Fic I spent the least time on: Round Two being the first fic I wrote when I knew what fic was and also that was to a time limit of half an hour iirc

Longest Fic:  please come home for christmas

Shortest Fic:  who comes too fast the first time they do it together (361 words)

Most hits/kudos/comment threads/bookmarks:  Don Juan Conquered for all I kid you not ... although the seeds of lust has the weirdest number of hits I don’t even know why, one of you buggers must be rereading it A LOT

Total word count:  432,189

Favourite fic I wrote: still sunspots and the age of the anthrocene because I am a dark fucker yes ... though I did find myself rereading parts of the christmas fic last night

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: oh no, once it’s posted, it will never be touched. But I still wish I had elaborated on the ending to our lovelines grew hopelessly tangled or maybe expanded the stars are splashed across the ceiling into a full length novella. No, you know what I would fully rewrite? better be yes. Though I did flesh the same journey out in nearly all subsequent Mendo fic which makes me happy.

Share a bit of a WIP or a story idea you’re planning on: Mm, the only story ideas I have at the moment are for original fic but what the hell, maybe posting snippets will motivate me ...

Story 1:

Skynet knows, oh god what does Skynet know, how she likes it. He’s kind and courteous, holds back, waits for her signs. There’s a tiny crescent scar just below one eye. His smile crinkles up the bold lines of his face with so much kindness and humour. She wants to ask him so much, engage him in conversation, but her wariness holds her back. His silence sucks at her, the sight of him is so other and so shockingly familiar it jolts her into remembering she is other too. She can’t fake whiteness with him.

Story 2:

When she’s on top after they come, she smiles down at him, and from her mouth her skin peels back, disintegrates over ravaged muscle and decayed bone. He’s out of bed in a second, heart hammering, nausea turning his stomach. The woman is sprawled back, unconscious. And something dark distorts the air, flitting out of the room. A faint pleased laugh, so female.

And a novel fragment I need to rewrite and reframe:

But now I’m unstoppable, now he’s going to get all the poison I unleash. “I’m so sorry my brain chemistry has inconvenienced your --” don’t say cock “-- husbandly expectations, that I’m not doing my wifely duty!” I sneer. “God forbid my needs supersede yours!”

He goes quite red in the face, saying through his teeth, “I am not pissed off because I can’t fuck my wife --”

I scoff.

“-- I’m pissed off because the woman I love doesn’t love me back anymore!”

Oh god. All the fight goes out of me, so dismayed. Undone by his anguish.

Luke drags a hand over his face. “It’s like I’m a fucken stranger to you now. You’re not in our bed, you’re not even in our room. You freak out every time I touch you, you avoid me, you have nothing to say to me unless it’s about the kids. It’s like a nightmare. We’re living in the same house, and I fucken miss you.”

[alvie-pines]

Mystic Messenger asks: 1, 4, 9, 11, 12, 15, 26, 29, 31, 32, 43, 45 (yes, a lot, I know, sorry ^^;)

It’s perfectly fine~

1 :How did you discover the game?

I think I saw a bunch of 707 fanart on Pinterest over time, and eventually I just went “okay, what anime is this ‘Mystic Messenger’ anyways!?!” That was in eighth grade l I think... wow. That was like two years ago.

Anyways, I played Yoosung’s route and LOVED it and swore I’d play the entire game top to bottom (which is what I’m working on now).

4: Your favorite ending?

Ohhhhh boy. Oh boy. I actually really like Yoosung’s bad relationship ending 1. SPOILER ALERT: it’s this one:

I’m very proud of him ^^

11: What call is your favorite?

Jumin Route Day 7 (Call from 707): “You have to be careful of smartphones”. This is one where he talks about his field work as an agent. I just... really love it for some reason.

Oh, lol, I also like his call on Jaehee’s day 5 called “hey sis~~”. It’s one where he’s been crossdressing for a mission and so he got a little stuck calling MC “unnie.” It’s so funny lolol

12: Your least favorite character

I’m sorry Zen... I feel bad saying this since I’m playing his route right now, but it’s true. I appreciate him as a character and as a foil to Jumin, but he’s just not my type, and sometimes his temperament gets under my skin. I lowkey get annoyed by him constantly prying into my private life in everyone else’s routes, like he’s jealous or something...

15: If you were MC and you get the same message that unknown send in the prologue for you to go at Rika's apartement would you go?

Hmmmm depends. Am I oblivious? Hell no. Blocked and ignored. But if I know the events of Mystic Messenger and know it’s Unknown? HELL YEAH BABEY COUNT ME IN

26: ¿Ray or Saeran?

Ohhhhhhhh no. Why did you have to ask me this....

I feel like answering would be detrimental to their progress of getting along.... isn’t it important to tell them that neither is better than the other...? Even if it’s not relevant to the game, I don’t want to choose one because of this...

Since they can’t see this, if I had to choose, I enjoy Ray’s company immensely. He’s babey.

29: ¿Dr. Pepper or Honey Butter Chips?

★ ★ HONEY BUTTER CHIPS BABE!!! ★ ★

31: What do you like the most about each of the 7 routes?

Yoosung: I love how innocent he is! Very my-type! I also find it amazing and heartbreaking how he went blind in one eye for my sake... god I love him

Zen: zen knows the bungeoppang vendor, ‘nuff said

Jaehee: uh duh I love interacting with my lovely wife 💛 any conversation with her makes me immensely happy!!

Jumin: I love Jumin in general. I love how interesting he is, and also how calming he is to talk to. Most don’t find his jokes funny, but I love them. Did I mention he’s so calming to talk to? Very levelheaded and rational.

707: the Mint Eye plot was very prominent in Seven’s route and I love that. I also love that Seven, like Jumin, can be easy to talk to! Just in a different way. Except when he’s upset, then I get sick of him being emotional. That sounds cold, sorry ^^;; I mean that being bombarded with harsh words and emotions over the course of a few days is exhausting. I love him, but helping him is hard on the mind....

Ray: RAY IS BABEY OH MY GOD. He brought me flowers. He made me breakfast. He’s so sweet and kind and nervous and PERFECT. His is the only route where I really fall for the romantic bits, because he’s oh-so-my type (not as much as Jumin, but he’s 50x sweeter than Jumin and that helps). I also REALLY LOVE learning more about Mint Eye, and overall... I actually enjoy that it’s more demanding. I’ve played casual story common route so many times I could actually do it in my sleep, but Another Story keeps me on my toes... it’s exhilarating and feels REAL.

V: N/A, Ive yet to play his route

32: Write a love letter to the character you like

Good morning,

Lovely Ray.

I’ve written to you today because, as you know, I’m not good at speaking and I stammer and stutter too much in person.

I’ve written to you today because I must tell you something without stumbling over my words. They are very important words.

The first of those words are rather common, but not from my lips: I love you. I love you so very much, and my love is freely given, without obligation, let, or lien. That means you don’t have to, you really shouldn’t, overwork yourself for me. You don’t have to prove anything. My love his free, Ray.

The next words are heavier. Ray, you are so much stronger than you know. Ray, you’ve been lied to about your strength. You can’t see what I see, and that’s heartbreaking, because I see a man with a heart stronger than the strongest steel. Stronger than mountains. Stronger than everything that’s tried to hurt you, and I know, so many people have tried to hurt you.

You lived through it all. You are still HERE, you are still LIVING, and you are still BEAUTIFUL. That, Ray, is true strength. Not pushing people around, but keeping yourself going. Supporting yourself is much, much harder than dragging others down with you when you fall. You’ve managed to support yourself and stay kind. It’s amazing. It’s strength.

I know you might not believe these words- and so I will, if you don’t mind, write them out as many times as I need to. I’ll leave them on your desk to read. Read them as many times as you need to, until you can love yourself freely, and you can see your own strength.

With kindness,

your lover and friend,

Jasper.

43: What do you like the most about each character?

Yoosung: again! His innocence! I love it! I also have a soft spot for exploring his issues, since NOBODY ELSE DOES.

Zen: definitely how easygoing he can be! He seems like a great person to just chill with

Jaehee: her hard work is really inspiring. So is her courage to find a new job that she loves ^^ it gives me hope for the future. I’m really glad to have a noona like Jaehee.

Jumin: his calming presence, rationality, and how easy-to-talk-to he is. I absolutely adore being in a chatroom with him alone. Plus his eccentricities make him all the more lovable~

707: this sounds typical but his jokes! He’s hilarious and always makes me laugh, and he feels so real because of it. He’s one of the characters who I could easily imagine is real. Sometimes I find myself hovering over the keyboard, wanting to send him a meme or tell him something, and then remembering that I can’t. TvT

Ray/Saeran/Unknown: Ray. Is. Babey. I love him to fucking death. I’m gonna marry him I swear to god. I love how sweet he is, how he knows flower languages, how he works so hard (although it breaks my heart), how he blushes, how he gets nervous.... everything about him is so wonderful. Aaaah so lovely. Lovely Ray. As for Unknown (Casual/Deep Story Saeran) I adore his duality, and I love his incredibly emotional story arc in the secret endings.

V: I cannot possibly hope to put into words the deep and unyielding love I hold for Kim Jihyun.

45: Recomend a good fic of mystic messenger

Transference by MariaMagica.

The world is in shock when extraterrestrials touch down in South Korea for the first time in history- but the problem is, they don’t really... do anything. That is, until Zen and Jumin start to have unusual... visitors. Soon enough, Seven initiates first contact, and the RFA is thrown into an adventure that makes them the first and only humans to go with the aliens... and leave willingly.

This story absolutely feeds my inner alien geek!! It’s so fucken good. It’s also got quite a bit of nice character development, and a great shocker at the end that made for an incredibly satisfying ending where everything clicked into place... aaaa it was great. I 100% recommend reading it!

[jincherie]

Timid Mini Scenario | Uno

Companion piece to Timid, set in the 2 months before they got the call about the cafe, but after Sweets. Pairing: Jimin x Reader Genre: fluff, Hybrid!AU Words: this one is fucken 4.4k+  Warnings: none Notes: The second and final “drabble”, which I have been informed by the lovely @kitten-dont​ is actually more of a sequel than anything, but I digress. The next thing I will be writing for Timid after this is pt 2, an actual sequel, so look forward to that! Although it might not be out for a while (uni resumes for me in a week!). Also don’t mind this it’s a bit of a mess and I was up until 4:30 writing it<3 

Jungkook and Taehyung come over for a night of fun and games that result in Jimin realising that his feelings for a certain someone have changed and not in a way he was expecting.

Masterlist || Original oneshot. Timid | Companion short. Sweets 

The sheer fervour with which Taehyung was knocking on your front door had your fingers itching for a club to beat him with. You hadn’t seen him in a long while, since the café, and already before you’d even laid eyes on him you already wanted to kill him.

“Kim Taehyung you better stop trying to break down my door with your fist or you’re not going to be having very much fun tonight.” You warned, a promise in your tone as you approached the vibrating wooden slab, the knocking ceasing at last.

“Finally! My god, you took so long!” you heard Taehyung exclaim from the other side. You almost didn’t open the door for him. Taehyung’s voice was clearer now that the obstacle between you was gone, and the instance there was enough space to squeeze through he was barrelling past you and into your home, ever the excited pup.

“It’s so cold and you left us outside for so long!” he whined, the spitting image of a sulking puppy as he stood shivering in the small hallway, arms and tail wrapped around himself and his big puppy eyes staring straight into yours. You made a face at him.

“Hey y/n.” You turned to see Jungkook still waiting outside for you to invite him in, shivering where he stood. You instantly cooed, grasping his hands and tugging him inside before shutting the door behind him.

“Aww, Kookie! Are you okay?! You’re shivering so much! Let’s get you warmed up…” you wrapped him in a hug, shuffling you both over in the direction of the living room and making the bunny hybrid laugh at your antics. Taehyung whined, following behind you.

“Hey! Hey! I’m the cutest puppy here, not to mention your bestest friend, so why does Kookie get all the worry and concern?! Hey- y/n~! I’m cold too! Brrrr! See?!”

Jimin, who had been waiting in the living room for you and your guests to arrive, laughed when he saw the scene you dragged in with you, jumping up to give both the males a hug. “Desperate doesn’t suit you, Taehyung.”

You snickered, noting how just a month or so ago Jimin wouldn’t have been anywhere near as open or comfortable in a situation involving you. And now he was here, looking at ease and grinning cheekily at his puppy hybrid friend as he joked with him in front of you. You’d come so far, and it warmed your heart.

While your time with Jimin was going well, you could tell that lately he’d been missing his friends. Back at the café they’d all practically roomed together, and now he wasn’t anywhere near them and hadn’t seen them in weeks. So, you’d invited Jungkook and Taehyung over for a sleepover, the two hybrids eager to agree and see their fluffy friend. Tonight was going to be a night of fun and just enjoying the company of your friends, watching movies and probably playing some games later if Taehyung had his way.

“I got the pizzas already, so let’s all sit and put the first movie on.” You suggested, plopping down on one of the couches, the spot next to you quickly being filled by Jimin. You tried to ignore how his eagerness made your heart skip a beat, averting your attention to Jungkook and Taehyung as they wrestled for the other spare spot on your other side. Jungkook won, like pretty much everyone except Taehyung had expected, and slotted his firm bunny tush between your own and the side of the couch. You suspected his winning edge had been those powerful bun thighs.

Taehyung whined again, before literally jumping so he was laying across all of you. You let out a groan and Jungkook wheezed, the puppy hybrid having landed (probably purposefully, if you were being honest) on his junk with his elbow. Jimin looked appalled, but even then couldn’t help the laughter tumbling forth from his plush lips, eyes closing as he grinned. Jimin’s laughter was infectious, and soon all of you were laughing as you all grabbed the paper plates on the table before you and some slices of pizza. You pressed play on the movie you’d chosen and the night was off to a good start.

You were content to laze and watch movies with your friends, Jungkook and Jimin seeming to agree with that sentiment, but you should have known after all your years of friendship with Taehyung that the same would not be the case for the hyperactive puppy with too much energy and too many mischievous thoughts flying around in that pretty head. Halfway into your second movie he began to grow antsy, shuffling and shifting uncomfortably over everyone’s laps. You turned your attention to him, knowing any second now he’d break and—

“y/n, Kookie, Jiminie~! Let’s play a game!” he whined, rolling off you all into a standing position and jumping up and down. Yep. There it was. The whining and begging.

You resigned yourself to your fate, but Jimin and Jungkook seemed interested in the pitch Taehyung was throwing them.

“What kind of games?” Jungkook asked excitedly, scooting forward in his seat.

Taehyung flashed him a foxy smile. “Truth or Da—“

“No,” you interrupted, ignoring his pout. “Last time I played that with you I ended up doing something so embarrassing I couldn’t look certain people in the eye for weeks. No way, nuh-uh. That game is banned in this household.”

Realisation dawned over Taehyung’s features as he remembered the particular game you were talking about, causing him to burst out into laughter that sounded more like a cackle than anything. Jimin and Jungkook shot you curious looks but you refused to divulge; it was still just too embarrassing to talk about.

Taehyung calmed down, wiping a stray tear from his eye. “Ah, good times.” He said, grinning at you. “Okay then, how about Uno?”

You groaned, because you and he both knew that you had the absolute worst luck at Uno, but at Jimin and Jungkook’s excited looks you didn’t have the heart to refuse. “Fine, I’ll go get it.”

Taehyung cheered, Jungkook joining in and Jimin merely smiling after you. Taehyung caught sight of the look and realisation took him, the gears in his brain beginning to work and churn. He bit his lip to stop the devious smile from spreading to his face and alerting his prey to his plans. He needed to tell Jungkook soon so that they could team up for this, but couldn’t do it until Jimin was distracted.

Luckily you came back just in time, the box of Uno cards in your hands, and like a gift straight from the heavens you tripped at the entrance to the living room. Jimin leapt up to go help you, and Taehyung allowed himself some brief laughter before he turned to Jungkook and yanked him closer by the shirt. The younger boy was startled but went along with it and listened as the puppy hybrid leaned forward and began whispering in his ear.

Over by the entrance to the living room you were too distracted by a worried Jimin hovering over you (who looked like he was torn between laughing at your klutziness and treating the situation seriously) to notice the looks of mischief that the two other hybrids had donned over by the couch. You took Jimin’s offered hand and stood, pretending the embarrassed heat in your cheeks wasn’t there as you moved back over to the couch with Jimin, not realising you hadn’t released his hand yet.

You did realise when you went to set up the cards, however, and you felt the heat in your cheeks worsen as you quickly let it go and rushed to pull the cards out of the box. You could tell already this night was going to be an embarrassing one for you.

Soon enough you were all set up, everyone with their respective cards and ready to play. You were all sitting around the coffee table, Jimin to your right, Jungkook to your left and Taehyung between them opposite you. You went to start already, before Taehyung interrupted you.

“Wait!” he exclaimed, holding up a hand. Not for the first time that night you felt the urge to hit him with something. “Let’s make it more…interesting. The winner gets something.”

You could see Jimin and Jungkook nodding in agreement, but were slightly hesitant to agree yourself. There had to be a catch…

“What does the winner get?” Jimin asked, eyes wide in excitement for the game. You were so entranced by how beautiful he was in that moment that you almost missed the twin looks of mirth that crossed Taehyung and Jungkook’s faces— keyword, almost. Your head whipped to nail them with a suspicious glare.

“Well, I’m glad you asked.” Taehyung practically purred, and if you couldn’t currently see his canine tail wagging a mile a minute behind him you might have suspected he was part feline instead. “The winner gets something from y/n.”

You sputtered, completely missing the look of shock on Jimin’s face at Taehyung’s words in favour of your own slighted feelings. “Excuse me?! What about me?! What am I supposed to get if I win?!”

Taehyung nailed you with a pointed look. “We both know that’s not going to happen. You’d honestly have more luck trying to win the lottery than a game of Uno. You suck.”

You grumbled, sitting back down with a pout because he was right and you didn’t like it. Jungkook patted your knee in a moment of brief comfort.

“Anyway as I was saying, the winner gets something from y/n. This round’s winner will get pets for the whole of the next round, because we all know y/n’s pets are the best.” Taehyung said, as though he was enlightening a class of students. Jimin and Jungkook nodded, muttering in agreement, and you rolled your eyes. Whatever, you’d play along for now, and then surprise them all by winning suddenly. Yeah, easy. You wouldn’t have to be petting anyone, ha.

Not that you would have had a problem with it, but you had a deep need to prove Taehyung wrong and beat him just once at this god forsaken game.

Taehyung kicked the game off and you all began. It didn’t take long for your collection of ‘+2’ and ‘+4’ cards to increase impressively and for you to realise there was a fatal flaw with your seating arrangement; with the way it currently was, in order to win you’d have to dump a whole tonne on either Jungkook or Jimin and you just couldn’t do it. You suddenly wished you’d sat next to Taehyung, just so you could hit him with the massive pile of pick-up cards you’d amassed. You spent too long lamenting on your mistakes and missed Jungkook saying “Uno” and consequently winning on his next turn. You threw the cards in the air in half-hearted frustration, unable to keep the frown on your face however when you saw Jungkook grinning at you and crawling over to lay his head in your lap. You rolled your eyes, missing the lingering, longing look Jimin gave both you and the other bunny currently on your lap, receiving pets and scratches behind his ears. If Jungkook could have purred he would.

Jimin didn’t know exactly what it was he was feeling, but he did know that he wanted nothing more than to be the one in your lap getting those pets right now. His cheeks heated at the embarrassing thought, and he quickly averted his gaze, happening to meet eyes with Taehyung. The puppy hybrid gave him a smile that made him slightly worried about the outcome for the night. “Alright, onto the next round! Y/n, keep petting until the round finishes, or I guess until your hand gets tired. Anyway, the prize for winning this round is~” Taehyung threw his hands in the air. “A back-hug from y/n for the whole next round!”

You resisted the urge to throw your new set of cards at him. What was with him using you in all the prizes? Boy needed to invest in a more creative imagination, but aside from that it just seemed like he was testing how many ways he could make you play Uno while in an uncomfortable or unconventional position.

Jimin’s breath had caught in his throat at that. A back-hug? For the entire next round? You offered to cuddle all the time, and he wasn’t as shy as he had been previously, but he was still making efforts to be less awkward because he did want to cuddle with you, all the time, but he just got so god damn shy sometimes. He bit his lip. In a way, it felt like it would be less embarrassing if it was the result of winning a round than if he asked you to do it himself. His gaze slid over to where you were, squinting at your cards like they were written in a foreign language with Jungkook’s head in your lap, your hand petting away. He felt a foreign feeling grow in his belly. He wanted that.

Taehyung watched the range of emotions cross his friends face and knew his plan with Jungkook to make him jealous, or at least realise his feelings, was off to a great success. He turned his gaze to Jungkook, meeting his eyes. ‘Milk it,’ he mouthed discreetly, Jungkook nodding in understanding with a cheeky grin.

When you moved your hand from dragging your nails gently over his scalp to softly rubbing the base of his ear, he let out a satisfied hum, and then a soft sigh. Jimin visibly tensed (not that you saw, too focused on concocting a foolproof strategy to win as you were) and Taehyung could have cackled at his genius. He truly was the smartest puppy, the best boy.

The game kicked off once more, and as per Taehyung’s morbid predictions you were losing tragically; a ridiculous amount of cards having built up over the rounds in your deck. Jungkook, the little shit, hadn’t hesitated before slamming you with four ‘+4’s at once two turns ago, and you’d been lowkey torturing him ever since by continuing to give him pets and scratches, but not where he actually wanted them and skirting around his favourite spots. You could feel his childish glare and refused to acknowledge it, pretending like you had no idea you were doing it. That’d teach him to mess with you.

All too soon you heard the dread-inducing “Uno!” from Taehyung and a turn later he was looking to you expectantly, hands empty after playing his last card and winning the game. Jungkook rolled off you with a pout and you sighed before getting up and moving over to Taehyung.

“You’re a little shit Taehyung.” You told the puppy hybrid as you wound your arms around his middle and rested your head on his shoulder for comfort. “If you even think of cheating and looking at my cards I’ll skewer you with the nearest sharp object.”

Taehyung laughed loudly and Jungkook snickered, but you noticed that Jimin hadn’t made a noise, his gaze transfixed on where your hands clasped Taehyung’s middle. Taehyung noticed too, but didn’t say anything about it, choosing instead to shuffle the cards and keep his smile to himself. He dished out your decks for the next round and once more opened his big mouth to put your dignity on the line again for a prize.

“This round we shall have the winner receive a kiss on the cheek from y/n! A once in a lifetime opportunity, virgin lips that have never— OW!!” he yelped suddenly when you moved and pinched his side, whispering a threatening “shut up Taehyung” in his cute puppy ear.

He snickered despite your threat, instead declaring the game officially started and once more you were thrust into the pain and misery that was your experience with Uno.

30 minutes later you felt like slamming your head into the floor and throwing Taehyung out the window for making you play this accursed game. Jungkook had won again and while you didn’t mind giving him a kiss on the cheek this game wasn’t very good for your overall winning streak and the worst thing was that Taehyung would remember that the next time you brought it up to compare against his.

Jimin was sitting in a mixture of shock, regret, and frustration, staring at the pile of cards in the middle of the table. He didn’t have a good enough explanation for his reasoning as to why yet, but he wanted that kiss damnit. He had been so close to winning, he had just one more card to go, and then Jungkook had snatched his much-anticipated victory away. He felt that feeling in his tummy boiling and he felt restless in his position on the floor. He couldn’t take this— he didn’t know what he couldn’t take, but he couldn’t take this.

While the silver-haired bunny was suffering through a messy inner monologue, Taehyung sat watching in glee. Jimin snapped out of his funk just in time to see you shuffle over and deliver a quick, cute peck to Jungkook’s cheek that had the younger flushing pink and his hand flying up to cover where your lips had just been, looking to you in surprise. You shot him a grin, resuming your original position between him and Jimin.

The silver-haired hybrid’s face had gone pink and he was staring at you with a troubled expression, Taehyung noticed.

Jimin wanted nothing more than to take you into his arms suddenly, shielding you away from the others so you couldn’t go kissing any more cheeks that weren’t his. His fingers twitched with the urge to grasp your waist and pull you close, and so he quickly busied them, shuffling the cards for this match.

Taehyung couldn’t have been any happier things were going just as he’d planned.

You all played a couple more rounds, the prizes being of a similar nature to the ones prior. Throughout each game Jimin got progressively more tense, until finally, after the last game where the prize had more pets AND a kiss on the cheek and Jungkook had won once more, Jimin looked ready to break. Taehyung seized his chance.

By this point everyone was beginning to grow a little tired; you’d all been playing late into the night. Taehyung decided to use this to his advantage.

“Okay for this round, the final round, there is a grand prize.” Taehyung announced, much too animated for someone awake as late as they were. He waited until he had everyone’s tired attention. “We all know y/n has only three bedrooms, right? So one of us would have to sleep on the couch. The winner of this round will get not only a kiss, but will get to room with y/n in her bed instead of on the couch! It’s a sweet deal, I was there when she bought that mattress, it’s an honest-to-god modern day miracle gifted to us mere mortals from the heavens above.”

You shot Taehyung a look for bartering your personal space like that but were too tired to bother arguing. You missed the pointed look Taehyung shot Jungkook.

“What do you mean ‘kiss’? Another one on the cheek?” Jungkook asked, and your gaze whipped to him. You’d just assumed Taehyung had meant a kiss on the cheek, but now that he mentioned it—

“A kiss on the lips!” Taehyung cheered, but quickly amended his statement at your murderous glare. “Haha, kidding— I was kidding. It’s just a kiss on the cheek, same as last time.”

You relaxed your facial expression with a small smile. You mightn’t have a very good win streak for Uno but that was a win right there.

You turned to Jimin suddenly, noticing he’d been relatively silent the past couple of rounds. As your face turned you caught sight of him looking at you. He flinched, whipping his head around with pink cheeks. Your eyebrows rose. You liked to think you were getting to know Jimin more and more every day, but there were still some things you just couldn’t decipher about him.

“Okay, fine.” You agreed to Taehyung’s terms, letting out a small yawn. “But I’m going to bed after and you all should too.”

They all nodded, pretty much just as tired as you were. Taehyung dished out the cards and you all started once more on the final game of Uno.

In short, it was a mess. You were all so tired that at some point or another you lost track of what you were doing or planning, and several turns later one of you would be crying in outrage and throwing a card at the other. Jungkook was glaring at the half of the entire pack he currently held in his hands, coming dead last by a long way. In a surprising turn of events, Taehyung wasn’t much better, and you and Jimin were actually winning. Jimin had declared Uno a turn ago and you thought you’d had time but you realised that was in fact not the case as Jimin threw his last card down on the pile, falling backwards with a happy cry.

“I won! Finally!” he crooned, tiredness evident even in his excitement. Jungkook and Taehyung groaned. He rolled over, looping his arms around your waist and dragging you down with him, your heart skipping a beat as you laughed. “Victory is sweet.” He mumbled tiredly, face resting in your neck.

He had been so lowkey stressed that he wouldn’t win this round and he would have to sit by and watch as Taehyung, or worse, Jungkook, won and subsequently got a kiss on the cheek and a place in your bed for the night. The elation he currently felt all but dissolved the funny feeling in his tummy from earlier and he was just so happy that he now got to lay next to you and cuddle you and hold you close—

He stopped himself, blushing at the embarrassing turn his thoughts had taken. He needed to stop that, why was he even thinking these things?

“Welp,” Taehyung began, rising and shaking out his limbs, stretching languidly. “As touching as it is to see Jiminie finally win, I’m dead tired so I’m gonna sleep. Jimin, I’m taking your room. Jungkook you can sleep wherever but that other room is there if you want it.”

You rolled your eyes at him giving out instructions like he owned the place, but slipped out of Jimin’s grip and stood up, helping him up afterwards.

“Goodnight Taehyung, and goodnight Jungkook.” You said, giving them both a hug before pulling back and moving towards the direction of your room. “Thank you for coming tonight. I hope you sleep well. ‘Night.”

You grasped Jimin’s hand thoughtlessly on the way past, tugging him with you and causing his cheeks to flush pink as he stared at you with an expression you wouldn’t be able to read if you saw it. Taehyung’s keen eyes noticed every detail of the interaction and he smiled to himself. That look, even if neither of you knew it yet, was of adoration. Jimin adored you, and he didn’t even know it himself yet. Although, after tonight, Taehyung had a feeling the silver-haired hybrid probably had a good idea.

You heard Jungkook and Taehyung go to their respective rooms as you went to yours, Jimin in tow. You’d already had your pyjamas on when the others had gotten there, and so didn’t need to change. You made a beeline for the bed, so tired the thought of flopping down and sinking into the goodness nearly made you cry happily.

Jimin couldn’t believe he’d actually won the final round, the grand prize; and now he got to cuddle with you and get a kiss on the cheek. For some reason he felt nervous, and that feeling in his stomach from before had been replaced with tiny butterflies laying waste gently to his insides.

You slipped in, the lights off, and there was only the slightest hesitance from Jimin as he followed suit, sliding beneath the blankets next to you. His heart was racing a mile a minute and he didn’t even know why.

He was content to lay there nervously with distance between you until he worked up the courage to initiate cuddling, but thankfully you seemed to sense his dilemma and opened your arms for him. A bright smile lit his face that you couldn’t see but you could feel and he happily shuffled into your arms, his own coming up to wind around you as he nestled into you and rested his face against your neck. A happy sigh escaped his lips as your hand rose to gently stroke over his hair and ears in a soothing manner. He could have fallen asleep just there, were it not for the slight nervous energy thrumming just under his skin. He felt so giddy and happy at having you close, but why? “Night, Jiminie.” You mumbled sleepily, pulling him closer before relaxing and slowly easing into the sleep your body had been begging for the last couple of hours.

He couldn’t sleep just yet, not matter how his eyelids ached to fall closed and he yearned to join you in dreamland. He couldn’t stop his mind from thinking, and whirring a mile a minute. Tonight had been strange for him, he’d ended up feeling a lot of things he’d never felt before and he didn’t know why. Jimin didn’t like feeling so confused, and uncertain.

You shifted in your sleep, cuddling closer to him, and at the sudden elated skip his heart did a sense of realisation began to gently wash over him. Oh.

He liked you.

Jimin, face warm, abruptly shut his eyes and buried his face in your neck. When had this happened? How had this happened? Oh god. He didn’t think he had it in him to deal with this sudden realisation right now.

Clutching you closer, he did his best to keep his eyes shut and go to sleep. As he successfully began to drift off, the last thought he had was that regardless of his realised feelings, he was truly happy where he was right now, with you and in your arms, cuddling and sleeping next to you. He’d deal with his realisation another day, and for now, would just enjoy his time with you. Being with you always made everything better. Always.

[50cyg]

Taiyama sexuality Headcanons continued/ Anonymous ask

I got an anonymous ask (more of a statement in this case) in response to my answer to what I think Taichi and Yamato’s sexualities are but it was in 2 separate parts so I’m putting them together here (I wish we could write more in the ask box):

Anonymous said:

I love how ppl have such different hc based on their views on love and experiances! My Tayama hc are so different lol. For me, Taichi is hetero with Yama as an exception while Yama had feelings for Taichi for a long time(blame tri)and is bi/undefinable. I can easily see Yama in one-night stands(before taichi) cause I see his shyness as centred around personal/emotional things rather than bodily ones. kiss but not tell kindof person. and I can only see Taichi making him blush(seems true in canon).  gabumon made Yamato blush too, but in all three seasons it was almost exclusively Taichi who Made Yama go red XD. I hc that it's just that Taichi is the only one who knows Yamato's buttons well enough to make him blush and because Taichi is the only one for whom Yamato has feelings strong enough to be willing to jepordize his "cool" and drop his guard. I don't know how I feel about themhaving crushes though. Yama is loyal to a fault and will never stray but having the occaisional crush is human. 

My response:

It’s true experiences as well as the way you see the world can have a huge impact on how you view character sexuality. For example, as I pointed out in my reblog discussion between @ladamitadelaluna​ and myself on the original post, because I do not fully understand the concept of Pansexuality I am unable to Headcanon any character as said sexuality. It’s really fun to see different people’s views of characters and it can even shape your own view, for example, I can totally get behind ladamitadelaluna’s headcanon that Taichi is Demisexual (a sexuality I was not previously aware of) and could even see Yamato as Demisexual as well (although this was not my first interpretation of the characters’ sexualities, thinking on it I can certainly get behind it). 

My views of characters are always changing as I see new sides to them or read other people’s interpretations, and am especially flexible regarding sexuality as I subscribe to the belief that sexuality in real life is fluid and can change over time.

The concept of being hetero with an exception has always puzzled me because I just see that as being on the Bisexual scale, or it could also be Heterosexual and Bisexualy Demisexual... it’s a really interesting idea that I’m not sure how to interpret. I guess if we are using the Kinsey Scale it would put them at a 1. Would love to someday have a discussion with someone about this concept so that I can try to gain a better understanding of it. I’d also be curious to hear why you interpret Taichi this way? 

I can get behind Yamato being Bisexual but only if I link it into the Demisexual thing, he can love whomever as long as he has a very close bond to them, I can’t picture him ever having a basic crush on a girl... not sure why but I just don’t see it. I love the idea of Yamato having feeling’s for Taichi for a long time and I agree that Tri definitely makes it seem that way. I find it really interesting that you picture him as being able to have one night stands, I doubt I will ever be able to view him that way :P I honestly picture Yamato as kind of sexually innocent lmao. 

Regarding Yamato blushing, I remember Gabumon, Takeru and Jyou all making him blush out of awkwardness and/or shyness but I can only ever remember Taichi making him blush out of a sort of embarrassed anger. I actually cannot remember a single instance of Taichi making Yamato blush in the soft cute way he blushes with other people. I am referring strictly to Adventure and 02 though when I say this because it is true Taichi made him blush that one time in Tri out of awkwardness/ shyness/ all other headcanons people have for why he blushed in that scene.

Basically this:

Vs this:

The first one is Yamato getting embarrassed and lashing out at Taichi for mocking him while the other is Yamato getting shy and awkward. I see these two as very different blushes.

But I could definitely be forgetting something because I have yet to re-watch the series in its entirety since Tri was announced, so let me know which instances you are talking about. I do agree with the second part of your headcanon though, Taichi is deffintely the only person who knows how to really push Yamato’s buttons and he is also the only person, with the exception of Gabumon, who can get Yamato to drop his cool façade. If I recall correctly only Taichi and Gabumon ever see Yamato cry.

Yamato is absolutely loyal to a fault. He would never stray but I still really like the idea of him getting crushes on people. I just think it’s a really cute headcanon and I love it when Yamato acts cute.

Like look at this picture, look how fucken adorable this kid is!!

[betweenrivers-betweenworlds]

Tag game fun time zone

Get to know me tag game!

Tagged by @svartalfhild, who is quite the cool kid.

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

LAST:

1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: My younger sister Mary. 3. Text message: Group chat. "Man nod" (poking fun at a typo) 4. Song you listened to: rn I'm listening to Resonance by HOME. 5. Time you cried: Uhhhhhhhhhhhh...a while?

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: Nope. 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yeah, but that was part of a much larger thing. So it wasn't the kiss itself, but the kiss was part of it. 8. Been cheated on: No. 9. Lost someone special: No. 10. Been depressed: Meh 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Yup. Don't recommend it..

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: black red and blue.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Oui.. 16. Fallen out of love: Nah. 17. Laughed until you cried: At least one time I'm p sure.. 18. Found out someone was talking about you: I don't think so? Like in a shit-talking way? 19. Met someone who changed you: I like to think I pick up things from everyone I know, but I wouldn't say I've changed fundamentally lately. 20. Found out who your friends are: Not in fuck-you-you-weren't-there-for-me mode. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yarp.

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Most of the folk, probably. There are a lot from high school/college, but there are others who are internet friends I haven't met in person yet. There's also a dude from Egypt who one of us befriended the other over a fb game but we've never actually spoken. Oh, and a dude from one of my old chat room/forum things. Never really talked with him either but w/e. 23. Do you have any pets: No, but my roomie does. 24. Do you want to change your name: Naru 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Kelsey and I had a shared bday. We had cake n shiz. 26. What time did you wake up: My alarm went off at 8, I got out of bed a bit after that. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I think I was actually trying to sleep then. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Getting back to my apartment. I'm writing this on the bus rn lol 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Close to an hour ago. She and Mary dropped me off. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I'd dropkick my asthma. 31. What are you listening to right now: Same song as before. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I have an uncle named Tom, so yeh. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My ankle being a sack of shit b/c of Ragnar. 34. Most visited website: Tumblr probs

RANDOM INFO:

35. Mole/s: One or two I think? 36. Mark/s: Like what? Scars? Freckles? Dirt? I have some scars (including a chicken pox scar on my forehead and some on my knees from falling into gravel) and some freckles. Fewer than I'd like tho. 37. Childhood dream: At varying points I wanted to be a train conductor person thing, and an archaeologist/paleontologist. 38. Hair color: Brown 39. Long or short hair: Short 41. What do you like about yourself: A few things. 42. Piercings: None, but I've been told I could rock earrings. 43. Blood type: I always forget it. I think it's O+? 44. Nickname: Alex is short for Alexander, but there's some others that I've had through the years like Freaky Elder (middle school thing. Hard to explain). 45. Relationship status: Got a lady friend. 46. Zodiac: Virgo 47. Pronouns: he/him 48. Favorite TV Show: Fuuuuuuuuuuu-Person of Interest, maybe? 49. Tattoos: Nada 50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: None. 52. Hair dyed in different color: Nah. 53. Sport: Cross country, track, wrestling, soccer, I've played those all. XC was the big one for moi. 55. Vacation: Mostly to Canada or other states. 56. Pair of trainers: Brooks Adrenaline GTS 17. I've used the Adrenaline GTS line since high school and it's served me p dang well.

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: I eat a lot. 58. Drinking: I try to keep hydrated. I drink more coffee than tea but I'll drink them both. 59. I’m about to: Get back to my apartment, but that'll be a while so it's not really "about to". 61. Waiting for: Various shiz to load b/c the bus internet is sorta slow (which I get cuz it's free but still) 62. Want: No student loan debts. 63. Get married: Some day? 64. Career: Fucken. Who knows at this point.

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: Both are good, but hugs are easier to deal out and I come from a huggy family. 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes? I pay more attention to those. 67. Shorter or taller: I don't really have a preference, although most folk I'm interested in are shorter cuz I'm 6'2" 68. Older or younger: Just not extremes in either direction. 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms? I guess? 71. Sensitive or loud:  I don't entiendo. 72. Hook up or relationship: I think I tend towards relationship? But it depends. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Nah.

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: As in someone I had met that night? Or just someone I didn't know, period? Because if the latter, then no. 75. Drank hard liquor: Yup. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No. I don't wear them. Well, sunglasses but anyway. 77. Turned someone down: Yup. 78. Sex on the first date: I have. 79. Broken someone’s heart: Yup. Like not intending to hurt but it happens sometimes. 80. Had your heart broken: Yup. 81. Been arrested: Nope. 82. Cried when someone died: I think I cried when my grandparents died? But I was also like, 11 so. Uhh, probably died for my other grandma. That was sophomore year of college. 83. Fallen for a friend: Yeah.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: Usually. 85. Miracles: Nope. 86. Love at first sight: Nah. It's a process if you ask me. 87. Santa Claus: Nah. 88. Kiss on the first date: I have, but it's not my norm.

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: ??? 91. Eye color: Brown. 92. Favorite movie: L A B Y R I N T H

tagging (screw the rules): @wenamedthedogkylo, @regexkind, @americas-shit-salad

Only if you wanna. Feel free to tag yourself too.