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redxx95 · 3 months

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Exploring Kurosawa's internalized homophobia and compulsive heteronormativity

oh yea baby we bustin out the Big Words for this one 😎

This was supposed to be posted at the end of pride month but Life happened and it got delayed a lot 😩 So yea happy pride month (and happy birthday Kurosawa I guess 😂)

(btw I think I've never mentioned this on any of my other posts but english is not my first language, so if anything I write ever sounds awkward, that's probably why 😅) (also I had to merge a bunch of images to get around the image limit, this post is really long, the word count is at 1930 words 💀)

Hope you guys enjoy the read! 💞

Spoilers for anything up to vol 11

Let me start this by saying that there's no actual textual evidence of Kurosawa being gay (rather than bi/pan), so this interpretation is definitely veering towards headcanon territory. I'm also not trying to establish this as the only Correct opinion and anyone is of course allowed to have their own sexuality headcanons, this is very healthy and valid 👍

Kurosawa's internalized homophobia

The first scene I want to put under a magnifying glass is this one.

Let's examine what's going on here: Kurosawa has just tried to kiss Adachi, whose hesitation he perceived as disgust. Then he pretends it was disgusting for him too, because he thinks that is the average reaction anyone would have, extending this to Adachi as well. The way he says "who'd be into that?" is already lowkey homophobic, but the japanese line makes it even more evident: "普通嫌だよな" (= "Normally, you'd dislike that right?"). Keyword here being "普通" = "normal, ordinary", implying that anyone who would like that is abnormal. So what does that say about him then, who was so happy to get the chance to kiss another man? This is pretty much textbook internalized homophobia, where he has accepted what he perceives to be the general opinion on gay people and has made those values his own, hating himself for it (albeit only briefly here), which is why he internally apologizes to Adachi.

This is not the only instance of him feeling like that, although this next part is slightly more speculative than the more obvious example above.

So we all know that Kurosawa is a jealous, jealous man. It's one of his defining character traits and it's often the source of conflict and comedy alike. But he does not express his jealousy equally across genders. With men he has this strong rivalry where he needs to prove himself better and more worthy of Adachi's attention.

But with women he has a different approach: gently coaxing them away from him, lest they realize what a catch Adachi really is.

So, why this difference? The answer I have is that he doesn't actually believe he can compete with a woman. If Adachi wants to be close with a man, Kurosawa thinks it might as well be him, he's the best option after all. But if Adachi wants a woman, he cannot offer anything and is therefore the inferior option. He believes this even after he found out Adachi's not completely repulsed at the idea of being with a man. Even if Adachi's okay with men, he'll always prefer a woman.

And whenever he imagines anyone else with Adachi, it's always a woman, specifically Fujisaki, which he believes is "his type".

And he at least thinks he's very far away from that ideal. (He's not but that's a topic for a different essay.) If anyone's wondering why he even bothers at all then if he's so sure that a woman will out-compete him, I think the lyrics from the anime opening actually put it best, specifically the last verse:

I have these impatient feelings I doubt this love will come to fruition But still I can't give up this happiness There's a feeling here I can't resist A love like a castle in the sky

So basically, his plan is that he might as well ride the high of his first ever crush as far as it will go, intercepting where he can to prolong it just that little bit further, until it all inevitably comes to an end. (a castle in the sky = an unreachable dream) This plan kind of fluctuates throughout volumes 1-3 as Adachi gives him a bunch of mixed signals, but it holds true most of the time.

Adachi's side

Now I'd like to highlight the way Adachi actually thinks about their relationship, because it serves as a great contrast to Kurosawa's assumptions about him.

Throughout the first three volumes we see him grapple with his newfound feelings for Kurosawa, but he (almost) never puts his gender at the forefront of his musings. The manga makes it very clear that it's his lack of romantic experience and low self esteem that make it hard for him to accept Kurosawa's affections, and not the fact that he's a man.

This second page here being his own little gay awakening, where he realizes that he is not, in fact, disgusted by intimacy with a man.

It's also worth mentioning that when he later introduces Kurosawa to his parents (ch 41), they are immediately welcoming of him, suggesting he grew up in a very tolerant environment.

And it's not like he's completely unaware of heteronormativity/homophobia either, especially after he does his research in vol 8, but he is slightly more defiant in responding to it.

(I love how he just buys that bag he probably doesn't need that's supposed to come with all the wedding magazines, just as this very tiny act of rebellion.)

So now that we can see how different Kurosawa's thought patterns are compared to Adachi's, the next question we should ask ourselves is: Why is he like that?

Heteronormativity in Kurosawa's life

(yes we're finally getting to the comphet part of the essay 😂)

First let's look at the environment he grew up in. There are not many scenes with his family, but from those that we do have, we can at least make some assumptions about how he must've been raised.

His mother is clearly the authority figure in his life, judging by how she's described as "strong" and how terrified he is at her merely setting down a teacup (while Adachi has a more mild reaction). Her reaction to the news of them dating and Kurosawa expecting his parents to go as far as disowning him for it would suggest that she might just be generally homophobic.

But when they actually go meet her we see this slightly more nuanced perspective.

She's not entirely against it, but she does believe they are making a mistake by choosing to be together, hence why she thinks they might "regret it". There's many hardships that gay couples in Japan face, some of which we even see discussed in the manga, so it's not hard to see why she would be concerned for her son. The way she talks about Kurosawa never causing any problems, but "changing" ever since he fell for Adachi further supports that conformity is what she believes will ultimately lead to a successful, happy life. And that's also why she accepts Adachi later, when he's made it abundantly clear in his speech that they are happier in this non-conforming relationship than they were without it.

To contrast, her other child Mari is shown to have a very progressive stance (see: her pep talk in ch 47) and it would not surprise me if that is the reason she's rarely in japan and is never seen together with her family, save for the one time they're all at the wedding. She might find the conforming environment too restrictive and preferring to keep her distance. (shoutout to naina for this bit 🙏)

So that's Kurosawa's family situation. Now let's check how his social circle holds up.

From what we see of his friends, they never even seem to consider him possibly being with a man.

And his work environment seems rather toxic to say the least.

It clearly dictates traditional gender roles as the ideal. Nobody except Fujisaki even clocks any of Kurosawa's advances on Adachi as romantic in nature, even though he seems to be quite obvious about it (see: ch 34.5). And it's not like dating in general is discouraged at Toyokawa either, as we can see from all the women constantly vying for Kurosawa's attention.

From all this we can conclude that Kurosawa's upbringing and social/work environment is painfully heteronormative and until he falls for Adachi it seems he never questioned the status quo either.

The famous onsen scene, while funny, also reveals the sad truth that Kurosawa, in his 30 years of life, probably never even had the chance to explore his sexual orientation, rather focusing on being "perfect" in his straight relationships.

Speaking of those relationships...

He apparently had a bunch of girlfriends, who all seem to have dumped him pretty early on. His mother's surprise at him expressing a willingness to commit also makes me think he's never brought anyone home either. He also only seems to have a surface level understanding of what a proper relationship is supposed to entail, if his idea of an ideal date is just "what the average person" thinks is romantic. So why were all of his relationships so short-lived? Before I answer that...

Intermission: Kurosawa's smiles

It has come to my attention that this is not common knowledge, so let me explain: There's a way to tell apart Kurosawa's fake smiles from his real ones, without any context clues, just purely visually.

Real smiles: (ch 23, 24, 37)

Fake smiles: (ch 5, 13, 32)

The difference being very simple: Blush = real, no blush = fake 👍 And before anyone mentions it: No he doesn't just blush when he's around Adachi, that last fake smile is actually directed at him. (ch 32)

Edit from the future: This holds true like 90% of the time, but as Toyota's art style becomes more detailed, this doesn't apply as much in the newer volumes. I think there's also new details added that I haven't quite figured out yet so take this bit with a grain of salt. (The images below are still from her early art style though.)

So now that we have this additional knowledge, let's take a look at every instance Kurosawa is paired with a woman.

He's smiling in all of these. Not a single one has a real smile in it though.

I think he's never actually had his heart in any of his relationships, and the girls probably noticed it and that's why they dumped him.

And, of course, the first time he actually falls in love...

... just so happens to be with a man.

Even his friends comment on this, who have known him since high school.

It's almost funny how perfectly this aligns with real life gay people. Having numerous, short-lived relationships with people of the "wrong" gender is one of the more common traits of compulsive heteronormativity. (source: me oof) (but also shoutout to the "Am I a lesbian?" masterdoc, google it if you don't know, it's truly eye-opening)

After dating Adachi

So we have already established that he's far happier when he does finally get to date Adachi, but do any of his other thought patterns change?

Honestly it seems like he throws every single reservation about being seen as gay out the window.

He starts bragging like crazy about his new relationship to anyone willing (and unwilling) to listen, he has no qualms about PDA, he marks Adachi up and down so everyone knows he's taken and the only thing stopping him from proclaiming his love for Adachi to the whole world is the still very much existing societal homophobia. But he is a lot more easy-going about it now than he ever was before.

And I think the best way to describe this mental shift is, hear me out, the date song from volume 4...

... specifically the last 2 verses as a whole, and this section in particular:

"I won't let anyone divide our fraction! You couldn't pry this thrill from my hands when they're cold and dead!"

Horrible lyrics aside, this perfectly encapsulates how Kurosawa simply couldn't care less anymore now that he finally has what he's wanted for more than a year, maybe even his whole life. All the societal pressure pales in comparison to the sheer euphoria he feels at finally having someone that he loves and who loves him back just as strongly, feeling cared for and seen like no one else ever did.

And, you know, just happens to be a man. 🏳️‍🌈

#cherry magic #my essays #this is the mother of all essays I've ever done jesus christ #this thing spawned like 8 other post ideas btw #can't wait to finally get to those lmao

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qierxing · 1 year

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hnnnngh animal hybrids getting me so…..yan hybrid heartslabyul time

Riddle is a pampered little kitty, who always knows he's the best of the best! He's got the pedigree to back him up on it too. there's a strict routine he follows down to the letter-wake up, groom himself neatly, eat a balanced breakfast, spend time observing for intruders-it's all rather tiring, but he sticks to it like no other. if his carefully set up routine is offset, expect some major temper tantrums incoming. still, he is a cat, and as such he'll still adamantly stick to your side for cuddles and petting. once you see him sleepy eyed and pouty lipped, perhaps you can forgive him for his stringent attitude other times. But you know he only does all these tiresome things to make sure you pay attention to him, and him only, right? best make sure you don’t indulge in bad habits, lest you end up on the wrong side of his claws. If you won’t look at him, then he’ll make you look at him.

a faithful companion is what Trey is, as being a dog hybrid, especially of the Newfoundland breed, means his loyalty and ability to care for others is second to none. He's extremely good natured and so patient, even with the rowdy younger ones. you have to remind him to not hover over the others too much, lest he stretch himself too far or his mother henning ends up controlling. It's already happened to you so far, even though you'd argue that's what you're supposed to be doing for him. his instinct to protect must be ingrained deeply, for why does it seem like he's always trailing after you nagging? it's one thing to look out for you, it's completely another thing to run his paws down your body for injuries. maybe you should enlist in some retraining advice…otherwise you might end up pinned to your bed with a possessive hound rutting into you.

a sly little thing, that Cater. Foxes are mischievous by nature, and he is no different. always pulling you to his side for surprise selfies or stealing your ribbon to tie up his own hair, he sure knows how to keep you on your toes. that said, he's still a lovable guy, just not very…honest. Is that another inherent trait? You often ask him where he’s been most of the day and he answers with a vague “just hanging around with other people!”(even though you swear you saw a flash of red orange fur out of the corner of your eye when you went shopping), or when you ask if he’s seen your favorite shirt, only to catch him red handed with it in the laundry. Still, it’s not like he’s weird or mean, it’s just that he needs a firm hand when going too far. And when it gets to the point where you’re having to confiscate his phone for having numerous photos of you, you’ll have to do something real quick or else you might end up flashing more than just underwear in those snaps.

you swear that Ace is a rascal, a rascal! Do all weasel hybrids act like this? one moment you're minding your own business and the next you're having to stop him from consuming your entire snack supply from the pantry. he's always managing to get himself in trouble that it has to be a talent at this point. Some days, you have to seriously consider whether you regret bringing him in from the shelter. Although, maybe that’s too harsh. When he’s not hellbent annoying the soul out of you, he entertains you with tricks up his sleeves, always smugly smiling whenever you compliment his skills. He has his soft moments. but sometimes he gets too mean–always snarling at your other friends or insulting you to the point of tears or frustration. Just when you think about returning him to another handler who could take care of such a rowdy guy, he always manages to come pleading and begging for your forgiveness and then your heart is too nice to not forgive him in the end. this game of tug of war can’t be good for you, but you don’t know that Ace is too well versed in playing hot and cold, and if it means you’ll be isolated from one more rival that isn’t him, then he’ll gladly play this game of breaking your heart.

your heart melts when you look at Deuce. you found the raccoon hybrid shivering in the snowy cold and brought him inside immediately. He’s a little roughed up but with a lot of warm food and being dried by a fluffy towel, he’s practically sparkling with a cool beauty that can’t be seen anywhere. You calm him down from his fretting and over time, he grows rather attached to your side. always insisting on doing your share of the work, claiming it’s to repay you for all you’ve done for him. It’s a little worrying though. Raccoons are mostly solitary creatures, but Deuce has told you he’s been separated from his mother, and you wish to help him reunite with his family. But why is it that he’s not in any hurry to leave? Is he afraid? surely not, as you’ve seen him send intimidating guys twice his size packing from his fighting skills. It’s a secret, but Deuce has been chickening out on proposing to you. he’s been wanting to introduce someone to his mother for a while and put her worries to rest, but every time he’s faced with your smiling face he always ends up red faced and silent. Just give him a couple more days to drum up his courage! once he returns triumphantly with you swollen with his cubs by his side, he’ll be able to rest easy.

#yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #my works #almost posted this on the wrong blog ☠#relieving stress by sketching the boys tm

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neptuneiris · 1 year

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brooklyn baby (01/?)

i've got my eye on you

pairing: rockstar!aemond × fem!reader

summary: you go with your cousins to a concert of the band "Dragon Dynasty" in Brooklyn, although you are not a fan of the band, the guitarist catches your attention.

word count: 7.7k

series masterlist • next part

hello beautiful people, here I am again with a new fic! I'm so happy and very excited to start this, I hope you like it a lot, that you enjoy it and I'm looking forward to your support and your comments that I always love to answer:) seriously you guys are amazing!

I still don't know how many chapters this story will have but it won't be more than 10, so wait for them. thank you very much for reading loves, enjoy!

warnings: none yet.

He is so majestic.

It's the first thing you think when the band finally comes out on stage and the concert starts, causing the screams of a bunch of girls all around you all over the place, all of them joined by your cousins, Baela and Rhaena.

You don't even understand how the three of you managed to make it to the front, just Baela and Rhaena acted in survival mode and started dragging you all over the place, making their way through the crowd to get face to face with all the band members.

And now… you're sure that by the time this is all over, tomorrow the two of them won't have a voice because of all the screaming.

At first you thought it would just be another band that doesn't have a big audience and that even though it's a band you don't know, you'd still have a good time. Although it's not like it was an option not to come, your cousins literally forced you to.

However, you're surprised to see that the place is full and all the girls are going crazy, as well as your cousins already made sure to tell you all about the band, tell you what you need to know and show you their favorite songs all the way here.

Basically the band, Dragon Dynasty, just debuted at the end of last year and is already getting some pretty good recognition.

And not only for the music, but also for the appearance… peculiar, of all the members.

When Rhaena showed you pictures of all of them, either as a group or individually, you understood the obsession of both of them. They all have platinum hair and look as if they had stepped out of the very palace of the Greek Gods, all absolutely attractive and very sexy.

And now seeing them in person, just a few feet away from you, is very different from seeing them in their social media photos.

The lead singer, Aegon Targaryen, is the one who introduces all the band members and starts the concert. And every time he approaches the edge of the stage, the girls again scream, as they scream at every verse he sings.

Then Rhaena records and focuses more on the bass player, Luke, with his short platinum hair and sitting on one of the speakers, focused on his notes. While Baela, of course, focuses on the drummer named Jace, Luke's older brother.

You understand from the great information your cousins gave you about all of them that they are all brothers, except that Jace and Luke are cousins of the vocalist Aegon, the piano guy and the guy who plays the electric guitar, the last three being brothers.

You focus for a moment on the piano guy, who from Baela's information, he is the same age as Jace. He definitely has an incredible resemblance to his brothers and from time to time he smiles towards the crowd, or rather towards the girls, who of course scream and go completely crazy with those simple gestures.

But when you look at him… the guitarist… you immediately can't take your eyes off him.

When your cousins showed you the pictures of all of them, it was precisely him who caught your attention the most of all, Aemond Targaryen.

At first you thought that his pictures with that aesthetic on him were just for the band, as a way to draw attention, however, Rhaena explained to you that he doesn't really have a left eye.

In some photos he has a black patch on and in some others he doesn't, so instead there is a shiny ocean blue stone, like a sapphire, inside where his eye should be. And when Rhaena explained to you that this is how he really lives, it definitely caught your attention a lot more.

But not only for that, also for his style of clothes, whether they were black or black with white, as well as his expressions in the photos did not really show much.

In all of them he didn't look at the camera, he was always looking away with a serene and serious look at the same time, to show himself in the same way every time he looked at the camera with his guitar at all times and his platinum hair long and completely loose.

And now to see him in person… he still looks the same way, serious and completely focused on his guitar, except for his brothers and cousins who focus on the audience from time to time, but not him.

And just like that, you can't take your eyes off of him, as if he were an invisible attractive force, delighted by the way he focuses on playing his notes, his fingers moving across the strings and his bare arms showing you some tattoos on his pale skin.

Everything about him… it's just alluring, sexy, mysterious and at the same time… dangerous, as if it's not right to involve you somehow with him, but being so striking and exciting at the same time.

"They're great, huh?"

Baela shouts to you over the music, with a huge excited smile, as you nod, really unable to stop focusing on him.

"Yes, they are."

Actually the band is really good, regardless of the looks of the members, because what looks.

The songs are like a mix of Arctic Monkeys, The Neighbourhood, Cigarettes After Sex and some Lana del Rey type instrumentals, they also have more danceable songs in the style of The 1975, but all with cool guitar and drum instrumentals.

You really like them, the style of their music is to your liking, but again… you can't help but focus on him.

The concert lasts a little more than an hour, where during some little intermissions, you saw how he was lighting a cigarette and playing the guitar at the same time, so it was more and more impossible to take your eyes off him, listening how sometimes the girls were shouting his name and he was greeting them back with a simple nod of his head, that being enough to drive them crazy.

And by the time everything ends, the vocalist Aegon starts to say goodbye to all the members with an euphoria and an energy that he gave off all over the audience so that they would react in the same way.

"I want to hear loud cheers for our drummer, Jace!"

Baela screams like crazy next to you, leaving you completely stunned, as well as more girls around you, while the mentioned stands up from his seat and waves goodbye to all of them, smiling.

"To our pianist, my little brother, Daeron!"

More shouts, as he also waves goodbye with his hands and with a charming and flirtatious smile to all the girls, moving closer to the stage, that making many girls come closer to the edge, wanting to touch him, as he laughs and takes several of them by the hand.

"To our bassist, Luke!"

Rhaena is now the one who leaves you stunned from your left ear, as more girls shout, while the boy smiles and looks a little shy, looking very cute, waving goodbye to all of them with his hand, then lowering his gaze with his cheeks slightly blushing.

You see how Aemond next to him gives him a friendly tap on his shoulder, watching him with a small half smile and looking somewhat amused by his behavior, that catching your attention a lot, since you didn't see him smile much towards his audience.

"Now for our guitarist, Aemond!"

You clap, but don't shout, seeing how immediately the place is filled with screams and more applause, realizing that even though he's not very expressive and doesn't react much to the audience, still the girls are completely crazy about him.

And you don't blame them, it's obvious that's because of how incredibly handsome and sexy that man is.

However, even so he doesn't react much again to his applause, only waves goodbye with one of his hands, really watching everyone expressionless, reading on his lips as he says "thank you" and then turns around and picks up a bottle of water.

You bite your lips, still watching him, when finally Aegon gives the closing.

"And at last your server, ladies!" says the vocalist in a flirtatious manner, again the place exploding in cheers, "That's been all Brooklyn, thank you so much for having us. See you next time, we love you guys!"

He does get closer to the audience, instantly the guards react to take care of him, while he takes everyone's hands and also takes some bracelets or necklaces that the girls give him, while he smiles and blows kisses.

The rest of the members start to leave the stage, while Aegon continues to take all the screams and those little gifts, really getting along very well with the audience, to finally after a few moments, say goodbye and leave the stage.

"Did you like them?"

Rhaena asks you as the three of them stand, waiting for all the other girls to leave the not so big but not so small club.

"Yes, their songs are fine," you nod to her.

"Their songs or the guitarist rather?" Baela asks you with a mischievous look.

"Oh come on," you give her a look of few friends, still nerves giving you away.

"I knew it!" squeals Rhaena with a huge smile, "I knew you weren't more asking about him than the others for nothing."

"And I don't blame you," adds Baela, "With those tattoos who wouldn't be crazy about him?"

"But you like Jace and he doesn't have tattoos."

"Aemond is fine, like exaggeratedly fine," she clarifies, "But I feel like I wouldn't stand a chance with him, plus he's too serious and too closed off for my taste," she explains.

"But Y/N did like him," Rhaena says, folding her arms, watching you with a huge smile.

You roll your eyes, amused.

"I think the same as Baela, I feel like I wouldn't be able to get close to him, he looks very… serious and distant," you say finally, " Beside it's not like I'm going to get the chance, he's just a guy in a band that I liked, just like I like Harry and Zayn from One Direction or Alex Turner from Arctic Monkeys."

"Oh he's so hot," Rhaena says with a little giggle.

"Who of the three of them?" asks Baela.

"The three of them."

You nod, more than agreeing with her.

"Anyway…" says Balea, "Turning our focus back to this band, maybe you can get close to the sexy guitarist tonight."

"Hm?" you say instantly not understanding, looking at her confused.

Then from her bag Baela pulls out what appear to be three rectangular sheets of paper, but when you look closely, they are actually three tickets to who knows what.

"These are tickets to the band's after party," she says excitedly.

At first you don't finish processing anything, watching her like a fool, when Rhaena squeals more than happy and in disbelief, instantly grabbing you both by the arm to rush out of the club in the direction of the party, while you're still processing and asking Baela how she got those tickets.

"Savings," she tells you simply and without much explanation.

Leaving the club is a bit difficult because of all the other girls who are also trying to leave, when the three of you are already arriving at the corresponding small pub where the after party will be, which in fact is right behind the club where the band gave the concert, so getting there doesn't take any time at all.

Once outside the pub, there are other girls waiting to get in, all excited and impatient, some of them have their own band t-shirts and posters for the band to sign. And at the entrance there are two huge men, asking for tickets and complying with security protocol to let them in.

"Help me take a picture with Luke when it's my turn, please," Rhaena asks you.

"Sure."

"Me too," Baela says instantly, "With Jace."

"Okay," you tell her amused.

Then finally all three of you hand the tickets to the seemingly bodyguard, only to enter without any trouble as you go through security protocols as well.

Rhaena shakes you by the arm excitedly, trying to control herself, as the three of you walk into the place, where you instantly recognize those platinum hairs spread all over the pub, already receiving the fans.

The place is considerably spacious, it doesn't feel as suffocating as at the concert and there's definitely more room to move around despite the fact that more girls are constantly coming in to meet the guys.

The bar is free, there is light rock music playing in the background and there are more bodyguards watching out.

You see how all the fans line up and wait their turn with each respective member, being the first to recognize the vocalist, Aegon, who more than smiling signs T-shirts, posters, hats and even phone cases. Also the pianist, Daeron, who takes selfies and also signs.

But when Rhaena identifies Luke, she quickly squeals and prepares to go to him with her T-shirt ready to be signed by him in hand, as does Baela, focusing on Jace.

You walk Rhaena over first, promising Baela to keep an eye out for her for when it's her turn with Jace, then start lining up, trying to calm your cousin's nerves as you sense she'll throw up at any moment or be unable to speak coherently to the bassist.

Then when Rhaena gets distracted on her phone, setting up the camera for pictures, you instantly think of the guitarist and start looking for him.

However, the only ones you see are Aegon, Daeron, Luke and Jace, with no fifth long platinum hair. Confused, you go back over the whole place, really him nowhere to be seen, realizing that there are girls specifically with posters of him, also just like you looking for him, all of them confused and disappointed.

And you don't understand, isn't he supposed to be here too?

You find it strange that out of all of them, it is him especially who doesn't make any appearance, while all the other members do attend to their fans, apparently not worried about the absence of their guitarist or anyone else actually, just the fans.

Inevitably you also start to get disappointed, but you immediately focus on Rhaena, as her turn will be soon and she insists that you help her calm down, giving her encouragement and support.

When the time comes.

The boy, Luke, is actually very sweet, instantly giving his full attention to Rhaena, who acts just as shy as he is, looking excited as the two gently embrace, while he asks her name and introduces himself to her as well.

He signs her T-shirt, also her phone case, all while they both talk, to then move on to the selfie and finally the photo, while you watch with a small smile as the boy's cheeks blush and Rhaena is more than excited and nervous at the same time, hugging him and smiling for the photo.

"This is my cousin, by the way, Y/N," Rhaena shyly introduces you to him as they both separate.

"Oh, hi Y/N, I'm Luke," the boy says to you with a charming smile, not being able to cause you more tenderness, "Thanks for coming."

"Hi," you say smiling, "Nice to meet you, Luke."

You take advantage of the moment and also take a selfie with him and Rhaena, where the three of you come out all smiles, without his cheeks stop blushing, and then pass the next fan.

Rhaena can't stop smiling, again shaking your arm excitedly and on the verge of collapsing with happiness, as she quickly goes through the photos, announcing that she will upload them to her Instagram stories this instant.

You laugh and then she heads off to line up to meet Daeron now, while you now head to Baela.

Unlike with Rhaena and Luke, you can clearly identify your cousin's flirting methods and surprisingly Jace reacts completely to her, looking just as flirty as she does, talking in her ear and both of them very close to each other.

You take their picture and get excited for your cousin, seeing how both of them even after the picture talk to each other, still very close, with that clear interest in the body behavior of both of them, but more of him towards her.

And you don't blame him either, no doubt your cousins are very beautiful, you always tell them every day and they tell you too.

At the end Baela also introduces you with Jace, he also looking very nice and friendly like his little brother, just not as cute, but very sexy.

Then after finishing with Jace, Baela turns to Rhaena, getting her in line to meet Daeron where both of them will now help each other with the pictures, so you head to the bar, taking a seat on one of the stools, observing everything and taking the opportunity to order a free drink.

"Can I have a gin and tonic, please?" you ask the bar tender.

"Of course," the man says politely.

While he prepares your drink, you take the opportunity to check your social media, entertaining yourself for a moment and also looking at the time, realizing that it's almost midnight, so you'll probably be home by two in the morning.

You let out a long breath and at that moment the bar tender hands you the gin and tonic, you thank him and start drinking, relaxing and keeping your eye on your cousins.

When at that moment you remember him again, Aemond, so hopefully you look around the place again, looking for him, but you are surprised to see that there is still no sign of him, really confusing you.

The girls who were also looking for him before, line up to take pictures with Aegon, but like you, they also seem to be looking for him, without success.

It continues to seem weird to you and you feel really disappointed, just realizing in that instant how terribly disappointed you are, as if you've been a fan of his for months, when you've only just met him tonight, telling yourself what the hell is wrong with you.

So time passes, you watch as your cousins after meeting Daeron, head to Aegon, nothing really being quick as they take their time with each fan, until you finish your gin and tonic, not ordering anything else as you must be driving and stand at the bar, waiting.

It's until a few minutes later that you decide to go to the restroom, asking the bar tender where they are and he points you to a hallway at the back, instantly thanking him and heading that way.

You see how in the hallway there are four doors and you head to the two at the back, having the signs for the women's restroom and men's restroom, but when you try to open the door, it doesn't open, being occupied, realizing that it's only one restroom instead of several.

You let out a long breath, as this is common in small pubs, having to wait in the hallway, leaning against the wall for the girl inside to come out.

Again you distract yourself with your phone, holding back the urge to pee, trying not to get desperate, glancing from time to time through the hallway entrance at all the girls out there, being able to see your cousins from this distance, not long before it's their turn to meet Aegon.

You bite your lips and continue to wait, when as you are leaning between the wall and under the frame of one of the other doors that you have no idea where they go, it suddenly opens and you almost lose your balance, stabilizing yourself instantly and moving away, watching the person with some surprise and shame.

When the nerves and the surprise invade you completely, seeing that it is him, the guitarist.

He really looks at you without any expression on his face, while you place the appropriate distance between the two of you in this small hallway, still looking at him surprised and like an idiot, instantly telling yourself off to act normal, still watching him carefully.

And how could you not? The man is absolutely beautiful.

Compared to the concert, you have him face to face, his features being more than perfectly visible, admiring the shape of his lips and nose, as if it had been carefully carved, then nervously observing his intense blue eye and his sapphire eye, looking amazing and beautiful to you.

Then you quickly observe his various tattoos on both arms, recognizing a musical note, tree branches, birds, a moon and other figures you don't instantly identify, but you notice perfectly how he has a dragon on his shoulder.

Again you look him in the eye, getting instantly nervous because he is already watching you intensely, looking away from him because of the same nerves, having no idea how to really react since he doesn't move, neither do you and you feel unable to speak, feeling a lump in your throat.

He is simply too handsome and too sexy.

You think in the midst of all your nervousness, when the two of you are simply there, not far away but not too close either, suddenly feeling the hallway too small and feeling out of nowhere suffocated, not understanding what's wrong with you.

"Are there many people out there?"

He asks you suddenly, definitely not expecting that, as he stands still in the doorway, watching you, while you barely process the sound of his voice, watching him like an idiot for a moment.

React!

Your mind reprimands you, really not wanting to embarrass yourself with him, much less when he's just asked you something.

You clear your throat and control yourself, to look back towards the center of the pub, where there are indeed a lot of girls and there are many especially who want to see him. You bite your lips and return your nervous, attentive gaze to him, realizing that he hasn't even come out into the hallway, keeping himself hidden in that room.

"Yes," you finally say to him, trying to sound like a normal person, not letting your nerves completely get the better of you.

He lets out a long breath, then averts his gaze from yours and you watch as he carefully peeks out of the doorframe, this catching your attention, as he inspects everything and honestly looks a little irritated, which you don't understand why.

And at that moment you don't know if you should, considering he still wants to keep himself hidden, but also Baela's voice tells you: bitch, take advantage and talk to him, you literally have him right in front of you!

Yes, that's something she would tell you if she saw you now.

"You're not a fan of being among so many people?"

You ask him softly, overcoming your nerves, but again you feel your heart leap in your chest as he looks at you again.

"Not much," he answers you.

And at that moment, you only admire more of his handsome features he offers you as you stand face to face with his profile, actually making you very nervous. And his answer actually makes sense to you.

He on stage is very calm and quiet, so now having to be among all the fans, it really doesn't seem to be his strongest suit.

"Still a lot of girls are looking forward to seeing you," you tell him softly, "They all look very excited."

You see how he frowns a bit, not saying anything back to you, which alerts you a bit since you really don't want to ruin this opportunity by talking to him, even though it seems you already have, but… what did you say wrong?

He continues to look at you like that, so intensely, when then you see perfectly how he looks you up and down, definitely making you more nervous than before, and then you see how he puts his hands in his front pockets and leans on the door frame casually.

The image couldn't have infarcted you more, as he does everything in a calculated manner, movements so simple that they already completely steal your breath away, only for him to tilt his head and continue watching you with that intensity, but now also curious.

"And you don't?"

He asks you with that soft but so manly voice that makes you part your lips, completely weakening your legs, watching him for a moment without understanding while he watches you expectantly, but still with that sexy demeanor.

"You weren't expecting to see me?"

Oh my God.

You think, unable to answer him, your voice right now not working, much less when he continues with his burning gaze in your direction, now having no idea how to behave.

However, you know you must be behaving like a fool in his eye, so you force yourself to answer him but truthfully.

"Actually," you start to say, trying to control your nerves, "I'm waiting for the person in the restroom to come out," you point your gaze to the door, to again watch him.

Then he too watches the restroom door for a moment, to again focus on you, watching perfectly as he presses his lips together in a soft, thin line and then you see what appears to be a small, barely visible grin appear.

And even though you didn't see him smile much during the concert, nor does he do it in his band's promotional photos, now that you see him do it and only meters away from you, the man couldn't look more beautiful to you.

"Hm," is all he says, turning back to watching you like that, his gaze completely attentive and burning, all his attention on you.

Holy shit.

That's all you can think, watching him without taking your eyes off him, just as he does with you, again feeling the space suddenly very small and the air hot.

When suddenly, you see perfectly well how he opens his mouth to say something, taking a step forward, calling your full attention, but at the moment he does that, a girl at the beginning of the hallway shouts his name at the sight of him.

And that's when chaos breaks out.

The girl quickly heads towards him, excited, instantly being followed by a bunch of other girls, all holding caps and t-shirts for him to sign, wasting no time and completely breaking the spell between the two of you.

You watch Aemond again and he's already watching you, but instantly he starts giving attention to all the girls, being surrounded by all of them, to which you can't help but feel disappointed because the moment is over, since... you don't know what the fuck was going on a few seconds ago with him but you were enjoying it.

When at that moment the door to the women's restroom finally opens, a girl coming out of it but now being difficult to get back to the center of the pub because of Aemond and all his girls obstructing the way.

You head for the restroom, suddenly feeling that same attentive and burning gaze on your back again for a few seconds as you close the door behind you. You take all the time in the world, trying to calm your heart rate and trying to stop feeling your hot skin, processing what happened out there with him, really taking a considerable amount of time.

You realize you need Baela's advice, thinking about texting her right now and getting her to give you techniques so you don't get nervous, but you doubt she'll text back if she's still getting to know the rest of the members of the band.

However, you don't know if you should ask Aemond for a picture or not, not being very sure about it, but you know that if you don't ask him for a picture or an autograph, you will regret it tomorrow.

You let out a sigh, looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself that you have to control, that you shouldn't act like a fool and that you should behave as normal as possible, not letting your nerves get the better of you.

In the end you don't text anyone, you gather your courage and finally come out of the restroom.

The first thing you see is how Aemond is still there, only now with few girls, in fact finishing signing an autograph for them, to which you watch him carefully and attentively, again having no idea whether to go back to the center of the pub to find your cousins and get their advice before going back to him or ask for his autograph here, taking advantage of it.

But you don't even have anything he can sign for you, except your phone case.

However, the time to think and decide is over when the girls take a picture with him and then start to walk away, all of them looking at him with that excited gaze and of complete desire, while Aemond looks at them one last time and... he watches you again.

And there you have your nerves again, but you don't let them get the better of you, lowering your gaze for a moment, thinking quickly about what to say to him, feeling again that tension between the two of you now that you are alone again in this small hallway.

And at this, Aemond decides to act fast, considering the after party isn't over yet.

"Do you want me to sign something for you?"

He asks you while directing all his attention towards you, with those fucking movements he makes that aren't that big of a deal but completely steal your breath, standing completely still and watching him carefully.

Talk, act, react!

Your fed up and annoyed mind tells you, also Baela's voice if she saw you at this moment, so that's what you do, however, again you respond with the truth and with shame.

"Yes, I'd love to," you look at him nervous, "But I don't really have anything for you to sign."

"You bought tickets to our after party and you didn't bring anything the band can sign for you?"

Oh God.

You think on the verge of collapsing in embarrassment, as he again looks at you between slightly confused and curious.

"Well, I didn't know my cousin had bought tickets to meet you. It was actually her and my other cousin who brought me to the concert," you explain, trying not to show how really nervous you are, as he tilts his head in your direction.

"So you're not a fan," he assumes and you're so embarrassed that he's right.

"But... you were still amazing tonight," you tell him instantly, being terribly honest, "I liked your music and will definitely listen to it often."

He nods slowly in your direction, apparently now understanding you, watching you even with that curiosity and again that small, barely visible grin appearing on his lips, watching him run you from head to toe, not being able to make you any more nervous than you already are.

"Hm," he says in nod, "That explains why you didn't jump on me the second I opened the door."

You let out a nervous little laugh, looking away from him for a second.

"Disappointed?" you ask him a bit amused.

"Just a little."

You smile softly in his direction, not showing your teeth, as he continues to make you nervous and make you feel as if the space between you is very short and the air is hot as he continues to watch you like that, as if inspecting you and as if he wants to see right through you.

However, you know that the moment can be broken at any moment if more girls come looking for him, so you don't get your hopes up too high. When suddenly he averts his gaze and points you to the door through which he left a few moments ago.

"It's our break room," he tells you, "There are new t-shirts and posters in there, if you want I can sign one of them and give it to you."

Oh my...

You feel the excitement run through you, definitely not expecting that, starting to feel your heart rate accelerate, but you instantly get yourself under control and tell yourself that no way are you going to pass up the opportunity.

"Well, if it's no problem," you nod to him.

He starts backing away, as he heads for the door.

"Come."

And you don't hesitate to follow him.

He opens the door for you, watching you intently and again with that intensity, to which you again feel like your heart will probably jump out of your chest, from excitement and also from nerves, to finally enter the room.

You don't even know why but a shiver runs through your whole body, bristling your skin, as he closes the door behind you and walks past you, his arm gently brushing yours, feeling for an instant his burning skin.

He heads towards a table, while you watch him attentively and take a look at the room, not big but not small either, seeing how there are numerous backpacks, sound equipment, tables, chairs, a couch and also a table with snacks and bottles of water.

There are also the guitar cases, identifying his guitar on the couch, where he was probably sitting playing before, hiding from everyone out there. The noise here is less, you hear more the background music than voices, actually this space being very calm.

"What do you prefer?"

You suddenly hear him say to you, instantly causing you to stop surveying the room and focus on him, who is already watching you intently, pointing out the caps, t-shirts or posters on the table.

"Or do you want all three?" he observes you with that grin.

Focus, Y/N. You can do it.

You tell yourself, not wanting him to affect you any more than he's already affecting you or you'll ruin this moment by letting yourself get carried away by nerves, which is just what you don't want.

So you try not to focus too much on his mannerisms when he's talking to you.

"The shirt is fine," you point out to him.

You're not a big fan of the caps and posters you like but on this occasion... you're going more for the T-shirt.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah."

You choose the T-shirt in your size while he picks up a pen, then you hand it to him and he starts writing.

"What's your name?"

"Y/N."

"Y/N," he repeats slowly as he writes it down.

This sends a wave of excitement and nerves throughout your body because of the way he has said it, concentrating on his writing, while you watch him intently, still finding the shape of his face and also his hair majestic, looking more majestic having him right in front of you.

You really don't understand what's wrong with him but God... he's really beautiful.

"So you're not a fan hm?"

He says to you as he finishes signing and hands you the shirt, instantly placing a nervous little smile, taking it.

"Actually no. My cousins brought me, they were both very excited and needed someone to drive."

At this he again looks interested and turns around to lean against the edge of the table casually, crossing his arms, watching you, while you stand next to him and almost have to lift your whole head up to him so you can look him in the eye as you talk.

"You don't live in Brooklyn?"

You shake your head.

"Manhattan."

He frowns slightly.

"Manhattan?"

He repeats and you nod, watching him curiously for a moment as you watch him think in silence for a few seconds, then again watching you curious and confused at the same time.

"And why your cousins didn't buy tickets for the concert we're giving there next Friday?"

"Oh," you go blank for a moment, but react instantly, remembering, "Well, they did want to buy tickets, but they had credit card problems and by the time they fixed it, all the tickets were sold out and they bought the Brooklyn ones," you explain.

He doesn't say anything else to you for a few seconds, watching you intently, as he has been watching you all along, so intently that you feel your legs go weak, to which you nervously avert your gaze from him and look at the T-shirt in your hands, seeing his autograph.

And all you can think about is how crazy Baela and Rhaena will go when you tell them this.

"Pick something for your cousins," he says suddenly, making you look at him again, "I'll sign it too."

"Oh, sure, thanks."

You tell him with a nervous little smile to start choosing, beginning to believe that you'll never really stop feeling nervous in his presence, much less if you're both alone in this room.

For Rhaena you choose a poster for her, as she's a big fan of having lots of them of her favorite artists and sticking them all over her room, while for Baela you also choose a t-shirt.

You notice how Aemond walks away for a moment as you look for Baela's size, then return and begin to sign that for your cousins as well, again watching or rather subtly admiring his face of concentration as he begins to write.

"Here," he gives you everything, finishing.

"Thank you very much,"

You tell him sincerely, as he straightens up completely again, setting the pen down on the table and leaning back against the edge of it.

"You're welcome," he nods in your direction.

You look away, having no idea how to say goodbye to him, you don't even want the moment to end even though his gaze on you makes you feel so nervous, but for obvious reasons, your cousins must already be looking for you and you know he must be out here to attend to more of his fans.

"Hum... then I'll see you... out there, I guess," you smile at him, starting to walk away, "This was very kind of you."

"Wait."

He says to you suddenly, stopping your step, standing in front of him, as you watch him take a few more steps towards you, completely alerting you, but seeing him take a hand to the back of his pants, watching as he takes something from his pocket, confusing you but completely getting your attention.

Then his eye watches you back, his gaze so intense and so penetrating, as you watch him with your lips parted, this suddenly closeness suffocating you too much, not helping anything that the two of you are here alone.

However, he places his hand between the two of you, handing you something and when you look at it, confusion overtakes you further, seeing that they are tickets to his concert as they have the words 'Dragon Dynasty" printed in large letters on them.

"These are tickets for the concert in Manhattan, next Friday," he says softly, still hand them to you.

And even after explaining, you still don't finish processing anything, as he continues waiting for you to take them, while you continue to stand still and watch him like an idiot, slowly beginning to understand.

"B-but...

"Take them, Y/N," he says again, softly, watching you expectantly.

Take them? Just like that? For free?

You immediately deny, staring at him in confusion.

"No, but... I-I...wait, you...

"It's fine," she assures you, interrupting you.

"But you can't do this or can you?" you ask him totally bewildered and surprised, not believing it.

"Of course I can, in fact I'm doing it now," he tells you as if it's the most normal thing in the world.

But you continue to watch him confused, not understanding why he is doing this with you especially, again feeling the nerves invade you and the hot air hit you mercilessly, not being able to think straight.

"W-what? But...

"What is it?" he asks taking a step closer to you, stopping your heart for a second, "Don't you want to see me again?"

My God...

No. You can't do it anymore. It's right there when you lose it completely.

The way he has asked you, watching you completely attentively and with that barely visible grin, his body starting to invade your personal space, slowly leaning towards you, the space between you both ceasing to exist and all of him embracing you completely.

That delicious manly cologne hits your nostrils, also the slight smell of cigarette, everything about him being so alluring, so sexy, so mysterious and dangerous somehow.

And he does it all in such a calculating way... he doesn't even do it all that fast, he does it all slow, just the way he wants to catch you, while you slowly start to let yourself be carried away by him as well.

With your heart beating too fast, you look at the tickets in his hand and slowly raise your eyes to look at him, when he is already looking at you and just like that.

Don't you want to see me again?

His question repeats in your mind, at that moment no longer taking anything else into account. Because he is clearly flirting with you, and why do you not do the same?

"Do you want to see me again?"

You ask him in your soft, low voice, to which he only leans a little closer to you, that grin returning.

"Isn't it obvious?"

He tells you in the same way, his voice soft, low and completely calculating, his answer surprising and thrilling you, watching perfectly as he watches between your eyes and your lips, his eye completely full of desire, while you do the same.

You wonder what it will feel like to kiss him, how he will reciprocate, if soft or hard and if you will also feel his hands on your body, caressing you.

The atmosphere feels tense somehow, as you both start to invade each other's personal space, at the same time as your hand takes the tickets, all hot air and suddenly feeling that need to touch him, to kiss him, to feel him closer to you.

However, just as the small distance between the two of you starts to disappear, with all his delicious scent and his whole alluring body enveloping you completely, just at that damn moment the door suddenly opens.

You jump all the way back, scared and surprised, as the two of you stare at the door and Aegon is the responsible for the interruption.

"Dude, why are you still here? Cole's going to kill you if you don't come out this instant, you know? It's crazy out there, there's girls crying, they want to see you and you-oh....

He stops talking suddenly, barely in that instant realizing your presence as well even though you're standing next to Aemond, feeling embarrassment run through all your body, as he realizes what was probably going on here when he watches you both with his lips parted, so you lower your gaze in shame and bite your lips.

"My bad, sorry," he says and then slowly places a mischievous smile, now watching you and Aemond continuously, "I interrupted something, didn't I?"

You listen as Aemond clears his throat, no longer feeling the closeness of his body against yours, while you feel the embarrassment more.

"No," he tells him in a more serious voice and nothing compared to how he was speaking to you before.

"Oh," Aegon says again and you pluck up the courage to finally get out of here.

"Thank you," you say to Aemond without even looking at him, hurrying out of the room.

With all the things he signed in your hands and also the tickets, you don't even look at Aegon when you pass by his side, feeling so embarrassed and starting to feel your cheeks very hot, not bearing to be in his presences anymore.

And you don't even look back, you just run away, not being able to believe that you were about to make out with him, the sexy guitarist, Aemond.

You immediately look around like crazy for your cousins, seeing that Baela is taking a picture of Rhaena with Jace, so you quickly head towards them, acting normal, waiting for them to finish and by the time they do, you hand them the t-shirt and the poster.

"Where were you?" asks Baela confused.

"In the restroom and I got this for you," you say without much detail, the memory of Aemond's beautiful face near you still so fresh.

"Why are you so red?" asks you now Rhaena confused.

"I drank a gin and tonic," you lie, acting totally unconcerned with Aemond's lips about to touch yours still present .

"Did you talk to the sexy guitarist?" asks you Baela excited.

"Yes," you say acting unconcerned.

"And?"

"Nothing," you say with a shrug and she looks at you disappointed.

If only she knew.

But nothing ends there. Both of them now want a picture with Aemond even though they already have each his autograph, so you decide to wait again at the bar and they follow you, waiting for him to show up, you for anything in the world wanting to be near him again with your cousins around.

When then Aemond finally comes out of that hallway, appearing in the center of the pub with Aegon by his side, instantly you and him exchanging glances without even expecting it at all. And even with the embarrassment, you quickly avert your gaze from him, as the both begin to be surrounded by more girls, among them your cousins.

You're not sure exactly how much time passes, until finally Baela and Rhaena are satisfied and the three of you leave the pub, with half an hour left before the after party is over, but it's too late now and you have to drive.

However, before the three of you get in the car, you pull out the tickets that Aemond gave you for free and extend them to them.

"These are tickets for the concert in Manhattan, Aemond gave them to me," you say and then head for the driver's seat door, unlocking the doors.

And then all you hear as you start to leave your cousins behind are their screams.

During the whole ride, neither of them leave you alone, wanting to know exactly in detail what happened with the guitarist, Baela more than anything else feeling offended that you lied to her when she asked you if anything happened with him.

But when you tell them about everything and also about how the two of them almost kissed, she doesn't feel upset anymore and screams excitedly together with Rhaena, both surprised and unable to believe it, also unable to believe about the free tickets.

Luckily the questions don't last for the whole ride, so you also have time to think about him, Aemond, everything that happened with him and pretty much everything about him not leaving your thoughts alone as you drive from Brooklyn to Manhattan.

#aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x you #aemond targaryen fanfic #aemond fanfiction #aemond targaryen x y/n #aemond x fem!reader #aemond x oc #aemond x reader #hotd aemond

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thenyoumightaswellwrestleangels · 10 months

Text

Please just stay with me tonight (and please don't let tomorrow come)

and I will do the best I can, with the little that I know - series masterlist here

pairing: tim drake x reader x conner kent

length: 1.2k

genre: fluff, comfort, light light angst

warnings: coming of age story babey. timmy and kon are trying so hard to grow up well. so is reader. they're falling in looove but they're all stupid

a/n: oh look another new verse cool cool cool

It's summer in Metropolis; the sun is beginning to set, slowing down over the horizon to bathe the world in a pink, hazy glow. You, Kon, and Tim are slouched on the couch of your new apartment, boxes piled high around the three of you.

"You know…" you begin, sagging against Tim.

"We can always unpack tomorrow," Kon finishes for you. You hum in agreement and roll your head over Tim's shoulder to look up at him.

"Yea," he huffs tiredly, "yea, I'm good with that."

"We should go out," you say, sitting up and ignoring the grumbled complaints of Kon as you jostle him where he was settling in against your shoulder. "The fair is best this time of day. Come on, please?" Kon and Tim exchange a love-struck glance as you look up at them - a glance that maybe you would notice if you weren't so busy pouting at them. A glance maybe the two of them would be aware of if they weren't so busy each trying to hide the fact that they're so in love with you.

"Alright," Tim says, pulling himself off the couch. "I'll figure out which of these boxes we put our boards in…"

By the time the three of you were skateboarding down to the boardwalk, you were all trying desperately not to think of the mess you'd left while you tore through boxes trying to find what you needed, and you were giggling quietly to yourself at the whole ordeal.

"Stop laughing like that," Kon says, but his voice gives away his own laughter, "it's not funny, we're going to have to clean that up later."

"Yea, yea," you say, waving your hand dismissively. "Tomorrow, though. Tonight I get to just eat funnel cakes and drink slushies until I can't stand anymore and need you to carry me home." Tim snorts at your words.

"Oh, yea, that's romantic," he says sarcastically, but neither he nor Kon misses the blush that spreads across your cheeks at his words, although you do your best to hide it as you pull up to the fair on your boards.

"Hmm, nope, not quite. Try again - you never know, maybe the eighth time it'll work," you comment lazily, taking a bite out of your funnel cake as you watch Tim and Kon fail spectacularly at one of the fair games.

"You try it then," Kon quips back, trying to shove the ball at you. You dodge him, though, moving to hide behind Tim.

"Nuh uh… they're rigged, Kon. That's why neither of you can win." You laugh as Tim scoffs at your words, snatching the ball from Kon and aiming at the stack of pins.

"We'll win," he says stubbornly. When the ball misses yet again, he turns to you, hands on his hips. "How many of those have you eaten?"

"Beautiful subject change, Timmy. This is my last one, I promise," you say, curling your hand around Tim's elbow so that you can drag him away from the game, Kon following behind. "Here, Kon, help me finish this. It's almost dark out and we need slushies." Kon grins at you and takes the rest of the funnel cake from your hand, letting you continue to pull the two of them through the fair.

"Cheer up, Tim," he says, mouth full. "You know this next part is the best."

"You were right, Kon… this is the best." Tim's words are quiet, his eyes trained on the horizon where the last light of the sun dips over the water, blanketing the three of you in darkness. You rub your hand on your jeans, the condensation from your slushie making your fingers cold.

"Aw, you getting all sentimental on us?" Kon croons, slushie straw still in his mouth as Tim scoffs and jostles his shoulder, mumbling a shut up under his breath. You lean back on your hands, feet swinging over the edge of the pier as you listen to the other two.

"Do you really think this is a good idea?" You ask softly. The other two look at you.

"We said we'd do this when we all finally moved in together. We sat right here on this pier when we agreed that the next time we all met up in Metropolis, it would be to build a home together. Of course this is right," Tim says pointedly. You huff, keeping your eyes focused on the rippling water underneath the three of you, watching the way the waves hit the wooden supports and dissolve back into the darkness.

"No, I mean… are we doing the right thing? Like, being here, I mean, and - and doing all of this together… how do we know we're growing up right?" The two of them are silent in response, Tim frowning, eyes forward, while Kon stares intently at you. "I feel like we're standing on our own feet for the first time," you continue, "and if we trip ourselves up - or, even worse, if we trip one another up… I just - I don't know if we're doing this all wrong."

"I don't know if there's a right way to grow up," is Kon's quiet response, his voice more serious than you're used to. "I know that's… not the response you want. I know you take a lot of pride in squaring your shoulders and planting your feet and knowing that you're doing the right thing and headed in the right direction - and that's something I love about you. You always know… you know who you are and what you're doing and where you're going. Honestly, I… I really envied you for a while because of that. But… I think this might just take some stumbling. That's why we're doing it together - if you fall, we'll catch you. If one of us falls, you'll catch us. We've got each other." Kon smiles after his speech and you think, for a brief moment, that the sun's come out again, reversed time just to shine on you one last time before you're all adults. But it's just Kon - Kon with his sunshine smile and unwavering faith. Kon, with his feet planted so firmly and his posture so steady - and you realize that you envy him for the very thing that he envies about you. Funny how that works.

"What if we do trip one another up?" Tim says, hands clenched in his lap. "What if you're right and when one of us stumbles, we just take the other two down with us?" You reach over at Tim's words - at the tense strain in his voice, and tangle your hand in his so that you can silently coax his fingers to relax.

"Maybe Kon's right…" you say softly. "I'm sure we will mess up. We'll make mistakes and we'll argue and then we'll make up again. None of this is going to be perfect - we're not perfect, despite our best efforts. Maybe it's time we learn to make some mistakes." You smile gently, squeezing Tim's hand in your own. Kon grins at your declaration and Tim sighs, tipping his head back to stare up at the sky, the stars beginning to shine ever so slightly through the haze of the city lights.

"Yea…" he says wistfully. "Maybe it is time for us to learn how to make some mistakes."

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drowningparty · 6 months

Text

I have some thoughts re: Kayne / godhood (spoilers for intermezzo)

I don't think Kayne respects any of the other gods. He definitely doesn't respect the King in Yellow, he knocked him over the head w/ an oversized mallet to give him amnesia and stuck him in Arthur's head and reduced the Dreamlands to "a lawless waste" for a laugh. He also destroyed his city for the hell of it. He doesn't fucking care. He's rude to John, ignores him, says 'Arthur' when referring to both of them. I thought I noticed this undercurrent of quiet animosity, but felt vindicated during 40 + Intermezzo b/c he was suddenly soooooo loud! Ignoring & talking over John? Check. Telling him he's not special like Arthur? Check. Saying he'll torture him worse than Arthur just because he can? Check. My theory is it's b/c John's still a god, technically. Like the whole, choosing your own name + path... you'd think would be something Kayne could sympathize with (as much as Kayne can feel sympathy), but...........no. He knows John is easier to manipulate w/ fear (he can send him back to the Dark World w/ a snap of his fingers), and saves his faux sympathy for Arthur.

I think this is b/c he likes humans. Sure, he also likes killing them, but I don't think those impulses are mutually exclusive. Kayne's the most "human" of the gods we've met. He talks like a human, makes pop culture references, looks passingly human, etc. I think he envies them, in a way? They have a freedom I think he lacks as a god, even though they are confined to one timeline. We still don't fully understand how gods work, but from his description alone it sounds like he thinks of them as limited. They have incredible power compared to mortals, they exist outside the piano... but are confined to a single key. Which sounds to me like their path is predetermined and they're not intended to develop free will. Kayne's an anomaly b/c he does, or tries to.

He wants to put humans in an antfarm, perhaps as a demonstration of his free will. That's all Carcosa was, right? An antfarm. He wanted to play godzilla, smash the ants. Arthur's another ant in a different farm, and he watched his entire life play out across several verses to try to figure him out. What makes him unique is he dies in every other verse. Kayne can't figure out what makes this Arthur so special that he survives when all the others don't, but it implies he did something right with his free will, that this version is an "anomaly" like Kayne. He respects that, b/c it means this version of Arthur has done the same thing he has: taken control of their narrative. Even Kayne choosing his own name is an example of that. Becoming Kayne, rejecting the title Nyarlathotep and all the baggage that comes with it, the expectation to be what his father wants, a messenger for the outer gods (although he may still want that, I expect whatever his intentions are re: the Black Stone, they're his, not Azathoth's).

Arthur is usually a mirror for character's to see their humanity reflected, but instead of seeing his humanity (b/c he has none), Kayne looks at Arthur and sees himself. Which... surprised me? He seems so confident in his godhood, I thought he just viewed Arthur as his fave toy or human, like even in the S4 finale I found it hilarious how he kept going: "why can't you all just be more like Arthur???" apropo of.....nothing, but he didn't treat him like someone he identified with, so it caught me off-guard when he compared himself to Arthur, but that's big for a god! and I think it supports my thesis he envies humans for their freedom. Their roles aren't as "established" as a god's. Humans have free will, something he had to kill every other version of himself to gain. Even then, I think absorbing his alts (???) or whatever he did after killing them to become more powerful fucked him up, may have driven him mad if he wasn't already when he started this exercise in defending-himself-from-ever-getting-deleted, like he doesn't sound okay when he's talking to himself.

TLDR: Kayne thinks Arthur's special b/c he lived, when all the other Arthur's in Kayne's Arthur-Killing-Experiment died! (: Kayne can't figure out why, but he likes not knowing why. He likes humanity b/c of their freedom, b/c he's a chaos god who wants as much freedom as possible. And he's aware gods are fallible, they can be deleted, which takes all the romance out of godhood. Kayne's the most powerful god we've met b/c he's taken steps to emulate humanity's free will, the thing that makes Arthur "special," but what makes Arthur "hard to see" is probably his humanity. As much as Kayne likes humanity, I don't think it's something he can truly understand, which is why he enjoys sticking humans full of pins and trying.

I think it's neat Malevolent prizes humanity over godhood. Even gods seem to value humanity over godhood. John wants to become human. Yellow wants acceptance from a human. I think Kayne holds humans in higher esteem than gods. Those who look down on humans or try to 'ascend' and leave behind their humanity, like Larson, are clearly in the wrong. It's not seen as a weakness to be human, and even the parts of humanity that are usually written off as a weakness (our rage, grief, violence, desperation, etc...) are viewed as strengths in Malevolent, and I fucking love that about this show.

Anyway, I'll, uhh, shut up now.

#malevolent spoilers #malevolent #sorry if this doesn't make sense #I just think mad malevolent gods are neat (:#(rambles incoherently for six paragraphs) this could have been a tweet #kayne malevolent

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finn-writes-stuff · 2 years

Note

If you're still in a Legend of Vox Machina mood, could I request how Percy would react to a girl Tiefling s/o ,who loves to sing and dance, singing with Scanlan? Jealous Percy is adorable. Love everything you write. Will give you a kofi after I get my paycheck(this is not a bribe)

To Cut In

Dancing with your best friend is all fun and good until your favourite gunslinger starts feeling left out of the fun.

Percy de Rolo x Fem!Reader

Fandom: The Legend of Vox Machina/ Critical Role

Format: Oneshot

Female Reader

Masterlist

Asfghjkl thank you so much. I had fun writing this! And bribes are never required but always appreciated <;3

The party had set up camp for the night and spirits were high after a battle that had been much easier than expected. Keyleth had a warm fire going and the twins were whittling arrows in the orange light. It was amazing how some days a camo like this really could feel like a home away from home. You were happy, in an easy way that often felt so far away when adventuring. Scanlan had struck up a tune and was swinging you around with him, laughing whenever either of you stumbled. There was a tilted crown hanging from your horns, the gentle buzz of magic reminding you that it was one of his illusions.

There was so much joy in this, in belting out a cheesy love song and trying to make the other party members smile when they watched you. Pike and Grog were both cheering you on, and dissolved into giggles as Scanlan attempted to dip you, despite the height difference. It really just led to you precariously wobbling before you managed to get back to your feet.

"So, are you desperately in love with me yet?" Scanlan asked as the verse ended, winking at you.

"Not quite, you'll have to try another song."

"I've got some that'll be sure to have you head-over-heels, just you wait." You knew he was joking with you. With the way he kept glancing past you at Pike's laughing face and with how you had both bared your hearts to each other, explaining your separate pining over white-haired party members. But it would never stop him from joking about stealing your heart, and spinning around in the firelight with him was fun. He was your best friend here, you wouldn't trade that for anything.

So it caught you off guard as someone caught your wrist, pulling you out of Scanlan's arms. The cool leather on your skin told you who it was even before you turned to meet Percy's eyes, the familiar sharp green. Behind you, Scanlan ended up tripping back, set off balance by your sudden disappearance.

"Scanlan has had plenty of chances to dance with you. Would it be too much to ask for one for myself?" His tone was calm and collected but you could see the set of his jaw. It was the same as when his gun misfired too often or when he ended up dragged into a plan he didn't agree with. A frustration that he often kept under tight wraps. He was always loath to let you see it from him, but you'd learned how to read his cues.

"No, no it wouldn't be. Although most men wait for the other dance to end first." It was a gentle tease, questioning his swift cut-in.

"I'm afraid the bard speaks quicker than I do. If I waited, you would be in his arms all night."

"'The bard' is right here, you know! And if you want any music, you'll ask nicely after that stunt. My ass hurts!"

The slow raise of an eyebrow was so incredibly Percy that you couldn't help but grin at him. He was just as ridiculous as everyone else here, whether he would admit it or not. You cherished his dry sarcasm, especially as you noted his amusement in turn.

"If you could 'please' give us a song, Scanlan? I would appreciate it."

You had a sneaking suspicion that the only reason Scanlan listened was due to how he had nearly ended up in Pike's lap after his stumble, but either way, the music started again, mellow and sweet.

"Let me lead?" Percy asked gently, a hand resting softly on your waist and the other catching your own. "I won't just about drop you as he did."

"Scanlan still caught me, no harm no foul, right?"

"I'd say that it's better to be in good hands in the first place." He squeezed your hand and you were lost for a moment in his intensity. Percy was a person who did nothing by halves and who seemed to throw himself headfirst into his passions. He looked at you with that same sort of devotion.

"Better hands? Like yours?"

He smiled, just this side of smug, and you were done for. Gods, his stupid smirk, you were in love with him.

"You said it, darling, not me."

Percy was a graceful dancer, and it was so different than the chaos of dancing with Scanlan. He swept you across the ground as if it were a polished ballroom floor. And when he dipped you, his hand was steady and strong at your back. Your face was warm and your tail was swishing behind you contentedly.

You felt as though you belonged here, spinning in his embrace with his eyes drinking you in shamelessly. He was so often subtle and restrained in how he charmed you, but this was an impulse, a show. He wanted to be clear about his fondness for you, so that the whole party understood, not just you.

So it was clear that you were his and that he was yours in turn.

You wanted to kiss him so badly, but you knew it would be inevitably followed by wolf whistles and heckling from your friends, even if they weren't giving you their full attention.

Instead, you indulged yourself by memorizing his features, setting them in stone in your head. You already knew them perfectly, of course, with how often he was in your dreams. But there was hardly any harm in enjoying the view.

You were lost in your reverie until Scanlan's voice cut through your thoughts.

"Are you going to kiss her or not, Percy, we're dying over here!"

You flushed and went to tell him off, but you didn't get the chance before Percy's hand was on your chin, tilting your head to look at him.

"May I, darling?"

"I- yes, yes you may."

You found that the wolf whistles were worth it if kissing him would be like this every time.

#finnwrites #percival de rolo x reader #percival fredrickstein von musel klossowski de rolo iii #percy de rolo #percy de rolo x reader #critical role #critical role c1 #critical role x reader #the legend of vox machina x reader #the legend of vox machina #legend of vox machina x reader #legend of vox machina #vox machina x reader #oneshot #fem reader

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reidmania · 1 year

Text

EMBARRASSED OF ME - neteyam sully

genre - angst, fluff mini miscommunication basically a drabble

summary - neteyam and y/n decide to keep their unofficial thing private - but what happens when it slowly starts affecting them both.

characters- y/n (fem forest na’vi) aged up neteyam, all characters aged up to 18’s 19’s.

words- 2.3k

warnings- use of she/her, mini miscommunication, slight arguing, neteyam is a big clueless goof, comfort fic rlly, i love nete

authors note - im sorry this is my first tumblr piece, its its bad… im very sorry…

Y/N COULDN'T tell you when it changed, or if it had. its not like anything dramatically changed, herself and neteyam werent often affectionate in public, the two were best friends for as long as they could remember, since they were two

they would always be hip by hip, during everything, even after they had a stupid argument over the most useless things, they'd still be in each other's presences, you'd never find y/n without neteyam, and everything the girl did, the boy followed, and vise verse.

although that didn't change, they both grew up, still just as close, but neteyam was training for his future role, and y/n was normally with kiri and moat during that time, training to be a healer.

even though, neteyam would often come to the tent and visit her whenever he got a break, going as fast as he could to see her for as long as possible.

and on days when y/n wasn't training, she'd go for laps of the village, happening to stumble across where neteyam was training with his father and brother, and they both knew, that meant neteyam needed a quick break.

they never turned the girl away, always greeting her and letting herself and neteyam run off for 5-10 minutes, until jake would call him back to continue.

everyone knew how much they meant to one another, their families had always been close, but y/n and neteyam? always closer.

things changed when y/n turned 14, the feeling of heat creeping up on her when neteyam was around was a ... weird emotion to get used to.

now close to turning sixteen, y/n still had that feeling, the way her cheeks would heat up, ears would perk, her stomach would go tight with nerves.

and only a week ago, did she find out neteyam had felt the same.

he confessed to her after a overhearing a few young warriors talk about her, one was thinking about courting her, and it hit neteyam hard.

he had been so caught up in trying to figure out the way to tell you about his feelings, that he hadn't actually told you, and of course the boy was scared the feelings weren't going to be reciprocated, but he knew things would fall back to normal, they always did.

neteyam confessed that night, at the spot the two of them had shared, it was a tree, almost like a treehouse, y/n had found it while hunting for fruits one time, and showed neteyam that night.

it wasn't a secret that neteyam and y/n snuck out everynight, neytiri knew before jake did, but didn't tell her partner until after following him one time, finding him to be laying softly with y/n pointing at stars. at first, she thought it was another women, but when she heard the string of laughter the two shared, she was quick to realise, it was y/n.

unknown to both neteyam and y/n, jake and neytiri had spoken to y/n's parents, about choosing her to be neteyam's promised mate. there was no one they'd rather have their oldest dedicated to.

and they knew there was no one their oldest would rather spend the rest of his life with, he made the stupid mistake of telling lo'ak about his feelings for his best friend, and soon enough his entirety of his family knew.

y/n was close with her mother, and let it spill that y/n felt the same after the sully couple approached them.

all their parents were unaware of the fact the two of them had confessed to one another. by neteyam's request.

although y/n was confused at first, she ignored it. she ignored the slight hurt in her stomach and carried on like normal. all he said was that he didn't want to tell anyone — yet.

the girl was unaware that meant, he didn't want anyone to know, or have a smidge of an idea.

she didn't know that meant he would avoid her in public settings.

there was a time, y/n was collecting berries with kiri, and while kiri travelled further into the forest, neteyam had been on his way to training.

"hello sevin (pretty)" he muttered in her ear, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. before y/n could even respond, he was pulling away, he noticed kiri with her back turned deeper into the forest.

"i must go" he muttered, before leaving to continue his walk to training. y/n felt herself fall in disappointment. it confused her.

neteyam found out about the planned mating — three days ago. and he knew you had no idea about it, since his father had told him that he should be the one to tell her that.

that flipped something in neteyam, he watched as other men continued to try and court y/n, and it broke his heart, he wanted to prove himself to her, prove he deserved her love and tìmuntxa ( mating )

he did not want to tell her that the two of them had been promised to each other, because he did not want her to think she was just another one of his duties, something he had to do because of his fathers request.

maybe the way he was acting wasn't the best way to go about it, but he was scared that others would assume so as well, he wanted to prove himself to her first, and then everyone else.

he did not know, it was affecting y/n so heavily, he did not know that the insecurity was slowly creeping up on her, he didn't know that while trying to prove himself so desperately, all she felt was as if she was not good enough, maybe he was embarrassed to be seen with her.

y/n watched the water from above, the sun had set and the sky was filled with countless stars, each one filled with just as much beauty as the other, y/n had told neteyam that she wouldn't be able to meet tonight, saying something along the lines of the fact her parents were catching on, and if she went again it would be too suspicious.

it was a lie, y/n was close with them, and had told them about her meetings with the boy everynight, they did not mind. it gave them piece of mind knowing she were safe with the future leader.

y/n stared at the flowing river, deep in thought, she wondered if maybe she and neteyam did not confess their feelings to one another, maybe he wouldve given her a bit more attention, maybe he wouldve been less embarrassed by her.

tears brimmed her eyes are she started to pick every little thing about herself apart, she didn't blame him for not wanting to be known as her mate, and by the end of her thoughts, tears were running down her face.

she felt bad for lying, wanting nothing more then to be with the boy, but not when they were only alone. she hated the feeling she got now when she saw him, she hated feeling like a secret that would ruin his life if it got out.

what she didn't know, it even the night's y/n didn't come to the spot, neteyam did. it gave him piece of mind in his chaotic life, knowing this was a spot that belonged to only her and him, cause everything to do with her made his heart beat ten times faster, and he loved it.

but he was confused, when he saw a blue figure sitting upon the tree, his mind filled with worry that someone else had found their spot, but taking a closer look, he noticed the scar her shoulder, a smile made its way to his face, she must have changed her mind, he thought.

being so blinded by her own self hatred, she was too deep in her head to notice the figure climbing up the tree, and being too excited by the fact he got to see his love, and the fact her back was turned to him, he failed to notice her tear stained face.

"yawne? you came" he muttered, that snapped y/n out of her gaze, cursing to herself, hating the feeling of nerves in her stomach as his voice rang through her head. she was quick to wipe her tears, hoping her voice wasn't too much of a give away to the fact she had been crying.

"yeah- i uh-" it was. it gave her away completely, she had to stop herself to breathe so her voice didn't crack. "i can't stay for long." she muttered, good excuse.

he frowned at her tone, taking a seat next to her, his frown only deepened when she moved slightly away, it was dark, yes, but not dark enough to hide her blotching tear stained cheeks.

"yawne, what is the matter?" he said, placing a hand softly on the small of her back, confusion burying itself deeper in his stomach. hating that he didn't know why his girl was hurting.

"nothing, nete, im okay." she assured, wiping a stray tear that fell on her face. he only frowned more as she moved forward, out of his touch.

"baby? what is wrong" he pushed, calling her the pet name she had grown to love, one he had heard his father call his mother, it was a demon word, but a good one.

"nothing nete, i have a headache" she said, turning to look at him softly, he sighed, grabbing her hand. being able to see right through her. "talk to me."

she went to protest, tell him it was nothing but he stopped her. "please, y/n?, talk to me" he begged, y/n looked down, his hands rested on the flat surface of the bark on the tree, begging to hold her and pull her close.

"why don't you want to be seen with me neteyam?" she finally said, refusing to look up at him, scared to meet his gaze, she was terrified for his response, would this be the moment he told her he had got his feelings mixed up, he didn't like her, she was terrified.

at her words — however, neteyam flaterned, confusion filling his brows, he frowned, wishing he could understand what she meant, "wh- what do you mean yawne?" he asked.

she frowned, tears refilling her eyes. "you don't want to be seen with me, neteyam. anytime anyone else is around- you go all, i dont know. like a stranger" she frowns, neteyam's eyes widened with realisation, heart breaking as he realised he had been neglecting his love

"if you don't want to mate or court me, just say that. you don't have to just pretend like you do when we are alone" she said, starting to stand up to leave, neteyam's lips part, feeling slightly offended she thought so lowly of him, but he had no one to blame for that then himself.

he stood up as well, holding onto y/n's arm, the tree had a wooden surface built across it, giving them space to move. "y/n- baby no." he said, pulling her closer to him.

"im sorry, im so sorry- i didn't realise, im so sorry baby"

he overused the pet name after finding out it was one of her favourites, but she never minded.

"please let me explain" he begged, y/n just stayed silent, allowing him to continue.

"I do, so much more then anything want to be seen with you, i want to show you off to the entire clan— but my dad- parents, they have promised me to someone" y/n's heart dropped as she tears her arm from his.

he shakes his head, cursing himself for picking the worst timing to take a breath. "no- no, they have promised me to you. we are promised yawne." he said, bringing a hand to her face, rubbing his thumb across her cheek lovingly.

"and i didn't want to tell you because i didnt want you to think i only did these things because of that, and i didnt want everyone else to assume that as well- i wanted to prove myself to you- i wanted to court you before everyone gets to stick their heads in" he said, out of breath by the end of it.

y/n's eyes softened with realisation, a frown still pulling at her cheeks, but this time with disappointment that she didn't trust him.

"im so sorry, i never want you to think i don't want you, because you're all i want, i think about you every second of everyday, it breaks my heart pulling away from you- i was just so committed to proving myself to you, that i forgot to.. actually do it"

he finally stops, giving her a chance to respond. her eyes are wide with love, looking up at him so lovingly he can almost feel his stomach flutter. "you already have, tìyawn. (love)"

he smiles softly, "im sorry i assumed so lowly of you. i was just- caught in my own head.. i thought you were embarrassed of me" she muttered.

he frowned, "do not think like that, how could i ever be embarrassed by you. you're absolutely perfect. ewya, tomorrow im going to show the whole clan youre mine, im sorry i didn't do it right away"

"neteyam you don't have to." she muttered, bringing him closer. "i want to, yawne"

and he did, and everyday after that, everyone in the clan was well aware that y/n belonged to neteyam, and neteyam? he had always belonged to y/n.

#neteyamfics #neteyamsully #neteyamxreader #lo’akxreader #neteyam #jake sully #neytiri #avatarthewayofwater #avatar #neteyam sully x reader #trending #please reblog

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2willowlane · 10 months

Text

i'm running out of stuff to put here as a good filler. anyways, love harvey. yeah.

gender-neutral reader, sfw, established relationship

harvey was neither an early bird, nor a night owl. somehow finding a comfortable medium between the those two active hours, his scheduled called for him to allocate his time; rather, staying up late to finish reports, and waking up to then start the day anew again. falling victim to those habitual practices, the doctor always found the hours bleeding into the afternoon to be the most productive part of his day. either if it's because of the appointments booked during those times, or whenever the coffee starts to kick in; there was something he could just ever-so easily rely on to remind him of the fact that this was all real.

it may have just been a bit too simple and mundane at times for the brunette, but harvey still persevered. if he ever woke up, of which he normally does, before the farmer's 6 am schedule, he'd normally surprise them with a hearty breakfast and a sweet kiss. sometimes, he thinks that he doesn't need caffeine to help him get through his days; all he needs is to just grace your lips with his, and he's already smitten; in thought of you.

however, he didn't wake up in time to do any of that. searching around for his eyeglasses on the nearby nightstand, feeling for that familiar figure, he then puts them on; as he is blind as a bat without one (though, he'd argue that those creatures have impeccable vision--in contrary to his). on days like these, he'd try to move out of the covers, trying to not rouse you out of your sleep. you needed it, and plus, it was always ever-so endearing for him to see you so, so comfortable in bed. harvey didn't ever want you to think that all of your hard work has ever gone to waste, and even if you'd ever tend to daydream about what it'd be to live in another life, he'd fully understand--however, with his stay here on the farm, he'd need to think about it over again.

some people say that you'd always want what you never have, and that you should be careful for what you've wished for.

tossing his body to the side of the bed, he'd then sigh, as he was then lost in his thoughts again. a schedule helps stabilize his purpose, though, with harvey knowing how packed and busy one can be, maybe he can take it easy today. even if he was looking forward to surprising you today.

well, maybe later, then.

the doctor does tend to a small plotted garden out front, next to the farmhouse. even though your love does indulge in gardening every now and then, mainly just for his eye for seasonal decoration, he grew some of your favourite crops that were in-season for the fall. he isn't the most well-versed in the realm of cooking, although, he knows enough about certain dietary topics to be informed well. making sure that you'd get the most nutrients from the selection of either greens, fruits, or vegetables (or, a mishmash of either three together), he'd do his best to blend the flavours accordingly so.

if there was anything that he took any sense of immense pride in, other than his work, then it had to have been cooking for you. your husband wouldn't consider it a chore, rather, something he rather looks forward to every day! whilst he does like to take you out to the stardrop saloon every now and then, it filled his heart with such raw affection, seeing that look on your face (right before he smothers it with kisses. oh, how your laugh does a plethora of indescribable things to that man...).

once harvey sits up properly, he knew that you were out of the house already. with him adjusting to the light, albeit, the sleep inertia's getting to him, he checks to then see a written note; underneath a warm mug of coffee. it was funny how he didn't quite register the smell of one of his all-time favourite beverages (was he getting a cold? how ironic of him). moving the cup to the side, and then smirking at the endearing circular imprint it then left on the small letter, he then presented it to himself; reading it between his thumb and index.

it detailed about how you found him adorable in his sleep, of which made him feel flattered, and then talked about how equally as cute his gentle snores were. harvey mumbled a soft "oh, you didn't have to go that far...," under his breath, addressing no one, but still knowing that was the reaction you expected out of him.

when harvey finished then reading about how you had a busy day ahead of him, and how you'll make it up later, you signed it off with you saying you loved him; followed by your name, and little heart symbol marked with pen. flipping the note between his fingers to see if there was anything else, he wasn't met with anything much.

harvey could feel how his grin with digging into his face, as he then was about to get up; to at least change into other clothes, shave if he needed to, and get more comfortable. however, a certain family cat decided to go against what was on his agenda for the day--as it than began to settle between his legs; making itself comfortable. there wasn't much that could be done, if you had a kitty laying on you. deciding to then accept his fate, harvey gave in; giving the little devil its well-needed (wanted) affection and attention.

#💙#the silly #anyways #i swear i'll be normal and like #write for other characters #maybe #perhaps #harvey stv #harvey sdv #stardew valley #stardew valley x reader #stardew valley x gender neutral reader #harvey x gender neutral reader #harvey x player #sdv #stv

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cookiepie111 · 1 year

Text

Earth 2099V

Miguel x black fem reader

Miguel is jealous of his othe self but doesn't quite understand the situation of his other self.

Warning: angst, mentions of abuse not proofread

Miguel never really felt to jealous of his alters most them living normal mundane lives, typically a scientist the odd couple being dentists but they had standard lives. One consist theme in their lives was relationships, whether that be romantic or platonic. A girlfriend who got away, a brother he couldn't protect. A daughter he couldn't have.

Earth 2099V. A Miguel that was living the life! A great job, stunning wife and adorable daughter. His dream life! What sort of joke was this, it was so stupid to feel so bitter and jealous over himself . Petty as it was he closed the 2099V tab he'd push that dimension away, he knew himself how obsessing over another life would ruin him. So out of sight ,out of mind.

Although that didn't work too well, one depressed shitty month later he's staring desperately at the screen,'come on come on' seeing the two of you, your life, he could for a moment imagine it was him. He could go to bed with the thought of you in a cute apron cooking dinner, welcoming him home from a tiring day of dealing with anomalies and spider society, that it's him wrapping his arms around you, resting deeply at the base your neck taking in the praise you give. You'd sooth him, gently rubbing his head praising him for all the hard work he does. God he'd feel so good, so loved. And Gabrielle- your daughter, oh he'd give her all of his time, they'd be a the happest family.

Earth 2099V. But he wasn't met with that, it felt like watching a bad movie, plight filling at his chest, flickering to different screens as if his technology had made some mistake. But no this was it, this was the reality in front of him, a broken home. A broken single mother struggling to manage her teen daughter. An emotional repressed teen who'd recently got bitten by a spider, fuck. That ment they'd run into each soon or later, she'd hate him, he didn't know if he could handle that, the broken look of a girl too young to understand why her father acted like that, too young to comfort or properly protect her mother from her fathers cruel advances.

That bastard. He threw it all away. He had everything (Miguel wanted) and he thew it away like some toy he didn't want anymore. He treated you like a burden when you had done nothing but devote yourself to that bastard!

Miguel was know to coop himself up in his office (lair) wasting the day away observing the multi verse. It fell on to his second in command to perform welfare checks on him. "Miguel, you've been in there for 3 hours straight and no one's heard a word from you" honestly jess was hoping he'd exhausted himself out and finally gotten some rest.

Rabid. That was one word to describe Miguel now. The computer screen glitch in and out from the dents on made by his talons on the keyboard. His form was unruly, hunched and heavy breathing, jess could even hear the grating of his clenched teeth, the man was practically foaming at the mouth. Yeah, no whatever had set him off this bad was not something she could deal with alone, slowly backing up eyes still on Miguel in case a stray item was hurled her way.

"THAT UNGRATEFUL BASTARD! HE RUINED EVERYTHING"

Miguel really couldn't tell what he was more annoyed at the the bastard man who mistreated his family, a family Miguel would have done anything to have or the illusion that the man broke.

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel x black reader #miguel o'hara x black reader #miguel x reader #miguel spiderverse #atsv miguel #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 fanfiction #spiderman 2099 x reader #spiderman 2099 #atsv x reader #atsv x black reader #atsv fanfiction #spiderman fanfiction #x black reader #miguel angst #across the spiderverse

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tabitha42 · 4 months

Text

Stars

“You know, Karlach, there are other ways to express love, beyond run-of-the-mill physicality.” “EEWWWW, are you going to try to teach me about exceptional uses for a mage hand or what?” “...Well, actually, I was thinking of poetry.”

Gale helps Karlach write a poem for her love, and realises a few things about himself along the way.

Word count: 1,938

Karlach x Wyll, one shot, fluff

“You know, Karlach, there are other ways to express love, beyond run-of-the-mill physicality.”

“EEWWWW, are you going to try to teach me about exceptional uses for a mage hand or what?”

“...Well, actually, I was thinking of poetry.”

“Oops, sorry. Although, now that I think of it… is mage hand especially hard to learn?”

The blue, ethereal hand shimmered, its translucent surface showing a distorted reflection of the wide grin on Karlach’s face.

“Yess!!” She celebrated, throwing her hands into the air in triumph.

“Perfect!” Gale complimented, proud of both her for being able to learn it, and himself for being able to teach it to someone with next to no prior experience with magic. “That's the hard bit done. Now that you can summon it, you just need a bit of practice controlling it, and you'll be well away.”

She waved her hand and watched it move similarly. The movements were awkward and stuttered, unlike Gale's mage hand which moved with the same grace and control of his own practised gestures, but she was sure with a bit of practice she'd have it down in no time.

Eventually she dismissed it with the dismissal gesture he'd shown her previously, thrilled to see that that worked as well.

“Thanks, Gale. I can't wait to try this out!”

“You'll have to let me know how it goes. Within the limits of your own privacy, of course.”

“Heh, I don't mind telling you anything. Wyll might not appreciate that, though.”

“Very true. I will leave it to your discretion, and I will leave you to practice. Unless you'd like me to stay to offer any further advice I may think necessary to improve your casting technique?”

“Actually… there was another favour I was going to ask you for.”

His eyebrows raised in curiosity.

“My time is yours. What do you need?”

“Well… I was thinking, maybe it would be nice to write a poem… but I can’t write poems for shit. If you don’t mind, maybe you could help me write one?” She looked a bit awkward as she asked, worrying she’d already taken up too much of his time, but his eyes lit up at the request.

“‘If I don’t mind’? Karlach, first you ask me to teach you a spell, then you ask me to help you write a poem. This is quickly turning into my ideal evening!” He said excitedly.

“Wow, you and I have very different ideas of what makes an ideal evening,” she laughed. She liked Gale, but there was so much about him she could never get her head around.

“As we should. If we were all the same life would be quite dull. Now,” he produced, seemingly out of nowhere, a small book and a quill, and sat down cross-legged, “where shall we start?”

She sat down with him, chuckling to herself.

“Do you always keep an emergency book and quill with you?”

“At all times. So, what sort of poem shall we go for? Metre or free verse?”

She gave him a blank look.

“...Do you want it to rhyme or not?” he asked instead, deciding to start simple given the look of complete bewilderment on her face.

“Oh, well it's a poem, it has to rhyme!”

“Heh, not at all, there’s no requirement of a poem for it to rhyme. But we can certainly make it rhyme if you’d like,” he said, seeing the slight hint of disappointment in her face at the mere suggestion of a poem that doesn’t rhyme. “Now, for the metre. I’ve always been partial to the common metre myself, though I do like a bit of iambic pentameter. Or we could go completely wild and choose something like-”

He stopped as he saw the blank look turn increasingly to one of confusion, starting to borderline regret.

“You know what? Maybe I should worry about that. You just tell me what you want to go in the poem,” he said, much to her relief. She still wasn’t sure what the answer was, but she at least understood the question.

“I’m not really sure, to be honest…”

“Well, why don’t we start with what you like about Wyll?”

It didn’t take long before fond words of praise and adoration were falling from her lips, filled with her excitement, her enthusiasm, her love. She spoke about how she’d become so used to being surrounded by devils she’d forgotten there could be people as selfless as him. The conversation moved to what she wanted to do with him, how she longed to hug him, kiss him, dance with him… and other activities, of course. They spoke of her time in the Hells, her struggles, the pain, the loneliness, the endless fight to survive, the hope of escape that she never gave up on. She told him about the first night after they’d been taken, before she’d met any of their group, completely unable to sleep as she stared up at the stars, crying with happiness. She’d spent every night imagining them, longing to see them again, and now here they were. Of course, she’d spent every night imagining other things too, and now she was desperate to make those dreams a reality, to make up for the years of her life that she’d lost.

It ended up being a very emotional evening, more so than Gale had expected. He’d known about her past, of course, but they’d never discussed it in such great detail, and seeing such raw and painful emotion from her led to more than a few tears shed on both sides.

Eventually the poem was nearing completion. A few last tweaks, a final copy on a new page away from the scribbles and scattered ideas of the previous page, and it was ready.

“It’s done!” he said proudly, handing the book to Karlach. “Or at least, a first draft is done. We can edit or alter anything you wish. Also I’m afraid it may not quite be factually accurate in some places, such are our syllabic restrictions.”

She had no idea what a syllabic restriction was, but she didn’t ask for now as she took the book and began reading. As her eyes ran over his neat handwriting, she found tears starting to well in them once more.

3000 days I burnt inside, Fire in my scars, 3000 days spent trapped below, Dreaming of the stars. Every night I longed to touch, Each night I yearned to love, And every fight I longed to find Escape to life above. Now finally I find I'm free, Salvation came at last, And now I sit beneath the trees And look up at the stars. But where before the love I sought From anyone would do, Now I find that in my mind There's only thoughts of you. Your kindness and your bravery, Your courage and your wit, Remind me there's good in the world, And you're the source of it. These scars of isolation burn, But your touch holds the cure, The hugs I've missed, a stolen kiss, They fill my dreams and more. 3000 days I spent alone, But these dreams will soon be ours, And when they are we'll dance my dear, Underneath the stars.

“Gale…” she whispered, in shock. She couldn’t believe how well he’d captured how she felt. “This is… incredible…”

“Thank you,” he said, inclining his head in a small bow. “I’m glad you like it. I hope you feel it’s accurately captured how you feel,” he added in a slightly softer tone. Writing a poem from someone else’s point of view wasn’t easy, especially someone who had been through so much. Though he did have some of his own experience of isolation that he could draw on… it was very different from hers of course, though there had been the odd thing she’d said that made him realise they had more in common than he’d thought.

“It has,” she assured him. “Wyll is never gonna believe I wrote this,” she said with a laugh, shaking her head.

“Well, tell him I helped you. Say we workshopped it,” he offered. She chuckled softly and looked at the poem again.

“I can’t believe you wrote it so quickly,” she commented.

“Ahh, well, I’ve had a lot of practice. Poetry has always been one of my favourite ways to express how I feel for the one I love,” he said, casting his mind back to the hours he’d spent on his balcony, writing poetry about whoever had captured his heart at the time, filled with love and inspiration.

“Yeah? Your partners are very lucky, this is so romantic!”

“Hmm, some were more appreciative than others,” he murmured, thinking mostly of Mystra, who’d never been interested in such things. He’d quickly given up writing any poems for her, she was far more interested in his magic.

“Well anyone who doesn’t appreciate it isn’t worth your time,” Karlach decided firmly. Gale went very quiet for a moment. He still didn’t know how he felt about Mystra… up until getting abducted he was still firmly in love with her and desperate for her to return, but since this little adventure started he’d found Mystra occupied his mind less and less, his thoughts instead turning to someone new.

“Perhaps you’re right…” he said quietly, though it wasn’t a revelation that came easily to him.

“I am right. You trust Mama K on this,” she told him with a warm smile that he couldn’t help but return.

“Thank you,” he said softly, touched that someone found his poetry to be worth appreciating. Karlach looked down at the book again, her eyes running over the words once more.

“Hmm… maybe there is one bit I can change, you know, to make it more me ,” she said, holding her hand out for the quill. He gave it to her and leant over as she wrote, curious to see what change she would make. He watched as she crossed out the last line and replaced it with “Til you’re seeing stars”.

“Perfect!” she declared happily. He had to chuckle slightly - he preferred his version from a poetic standpoint, but he had to admit, this was version definitely more Karlach.

“Can I borrow this book?” she asked, looking over at him. “Til I’ve memorised it.”

He waved for her to give the book back to him. She did so and he carefully ripped the page out and handed it to her. It was certainly not something he’d normally do to a book, but he didn’t want her to feel pressured into trying to memorise it as quickly as possible to get the book back to him.

“Thanks again, Gale,” she said, smiling as she looked at the page. “Once I can, I’m gonna give you a big ol’ hug for this!”

“I can’t wait,” he said sincerely. “I’ll let you get going, then. I expect a dramatic reading once it’s memorised.”

“You got it,” she said with a grin, then stood up and headed off.

He stayed there for a bit, just the gentle sounds of the rustling leaves around him as Karlach’s words echoed in his mind. He’d honestly forgotten how much he enjoyed writing poems after getting so out of the habit of it during his time with Mystra. Maybe it was something to pick up again… especially if he had someone who would appreciate it.

He looked down at the book, quill in hand, a small smile on his lips as he began writing an ode to the kind adventurer that had pulled him out of that portal not so long ago.

#karlach #karlach x wyll #gale #bg3

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hgejfmw-hgejhsf · 9 months

Text

Fic Writer Interview

So I decided to snag this from @sparklepocalypse and fill it out because I'm cozy on my couch on New Year's Eve and fighting off a nap like a grumpy toddler. I'm actually fairly certain I've done this one before, now that I think about it, but oh well. The numbers are different since last time, so...

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

60, apparently! 61 being posted later today!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

178,579

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Ghosts

Do we still have forever

Volume Control

Retaliation

Modification to the map of you

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I respond to each and every comment that I receive. I try very hard to leave a personalized message for each person, but no matter what, even if it's just a "thank you," I will always respond! Even if it takes me some time!

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

To this day, the angstiest ending is Darkest before the dawn, which ends with hope, even if it doesn't end with an actual resolution. It's during canon, so the reader know what happens next.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I think my most recent Christmas fic, Oh what a laugh it would have been, has probably now overtaken one of my previous fics for overall happiest ending!

7. Do you write crossovers?

I haven't yet, but I'm absolutely open to it given the write parameters!

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I haven't yet, and I hope I never do, although I know that the internet can be a wild place.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

If you'd asked me back in July of this year, I would have said that I primarily write fade to black. Since then, I've written ridiculous amounts of smut. I'm still learning about various kinks I'd like to write about, because I don't want to just write without knowledge of the act itself, but I'm wading into the smut-verse now. I'd say the water's up to my knees, at this point. Got a ways to go.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, not that I've been made aware of, but I think it would be so neat.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't but catch me and @thinkof-england cowriting something amazing now that the new year has arrived.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Y'all are gonna need to sit down for this. I don't think you're ready. Deep breath in. Hold it. Now let it out slowly. Calm your mind. Are you ready? Okay because I know this is going to come as a shock to you when I say that it's FirstPrince.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

A Star Trek fic with Jim Kirk x an OC. I started it back in the spring and then RWRB happened and now it's just languishing away in my docs at just shy of 18,000 words.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told that I have realistic dialogue, so I'll count that as a strength. I also think I'm pretty skilled at metaphors. Love a good metaphor.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

The description of surroundings, including clothing and scenery. I feel like I don't do enough of this sometimes, and I'm trying to better at painting a proper picture.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I've done so! Lots and lots of research and consultation with native speakers to confirm accuracy.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Pirates of the Caribbean, apparently.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

There isn't really one out there. I'm super content with the permanent campsite I've built in FP land. Hopefully I'm allowed to hang out there for quite some time.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

How am I supposed to pick a favorite out over 60 fics?!

I suppose if I absolutely HAD to pick right now, right this second, I'd say Ghosts, because the prompt for it as my first ever reader-submitted prompt on a comment from another fic. The reader enjoyed my fic so much that they asked if I'd write another, and Ghosts it what came of that interaction. I loved writing it and sharing it not just with that reader but with the fandom as a whole.

Gonna post my tag list for anyone who wants to participate!

@adreamareads @affectionatelyrs @anincompletelist @cha-melodius @clottedcreamfudge @cricketnationrise @daisymae-12 @duchessdepolignaca03 @gayrootvegetable @getmehighonmagic @happiness-of-the-pursuit @heybuddy-drabbles @indomitable-love @indestructibleheart @inexplicablymine @kiwiana-writes @leaves-of-laurelin @leojfitz @littlemisskittentoes @lizzie-bennetdarcy @magicandarchery @ninzied @priincebutt @read-and-write- @rockyroadkylers @roseharpermaxwell@ships-to-sail @songliili @ssmtskw @statueinthestonetoo @stereopticons @suseagull04 @thinkof-england @tintagel-or-cockleshells@user-anakin @vanillahigh00 @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @whimsymanaged @wordsofhoneydew

#fic writer interview #rwrb fic #rwrb fanfic #rwrb fanfiction #my fics #my writing #my wips

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aibouart · 3 months

Note

can. can i request a red infodump perhaps? :3c ive seen them around a bit before but i have uh no idea what their lore/story is at all and im v curious!!!

WWWWWWWYAYYAYAYAYAYAYA !!!

i'm gonna gon on abt his species first cuz ........

i half jokingly refer to red as a "walking content warning" cuz he has a SUPER BAD home life. i made him to cope over 10 years ago, now, so he has a looong history of being used to get through my childhood and as such, his backstory is insane.

all you'd need to really know abt his backstory is like...

His father is a super shit person, his mother is basically missing but she was also not good in her own weird way, he has a sister he rarely speaks to because he's stuck at home and doesn't know how to leave, and he has a brother (red is the youngest) who is stuck in a baby's body and is usually being cared for by his sister (lore below explains why he's like that).

red lives primarily alone as his father is usually not home anymore, and he hates being a vampire or hurting people, and gets suuuper awkward around any pop culture vampire talk which is think is funny.

so red's vampiric species is very simple compared to human made vampiric lore and a lot of things are considered misconceptions, or things that could be attributed to *other* vampiric species that were blanketly attached to the concept of "vampire" by humans who are largely uneducated on them (and tbf most vampiric species aren't super knowledgeable abt each other either in my verse).

their primary biological traits aaare:

they are cold like normal vampire lore, and have fangs (retractable but doesn't need to be extended usually), and will often have very light coloured eyes. they can easily die due to illnesses that normally don't kill humans because of their lower body temp, to blood loss, and can only really be called immortal due to not dying of old age.

they also have a "starvation mode" where if they've been without food for too long, will become animalistic in nature and hunt humans. Red's hair turns near-black and his eyes become red when he is in this mode. they gain incredible strength and even heat vision to hunt down humans so they don't perish. after eating a meal (usually they do it with little care for the person's well-being while like this) they will revert back to their normal selves and have little memory of what happened during this state. although the state itself can store basic memories to help hunt later (such as if certain places are dangerous last time they went there, or if they got attacked for one reason or another). this separation of memories isn't meant to be an allegory for systems btw so i hope no one is thinking that i'm doing that!! ;__;;b!

these vampires start off looking and eating like normal humans, but eventually something within them hits a timer and they turn vampiric naturally (they can convert humans if humans drink their blood though). the process can be seen coming as their appetite lowers and they become a bit sluggish and lower body temp before the process kicks in full swing and they painfully turn to a vampire. after that, their body stops aging.

this specific species of vampires are meant to co-exist with humans and live along side them. humans provide a source of food, and the vampires can help provide protection and even mingle well socially. the vampire species can breed with humans and human-vampire babies on average will usually turn vampiric later in adulthood, but vampire-vampire children (especially vampires with little human lineage) tend to turn too quickly.

his vampiric species was doing well within small human communities and living how they're supposed to, before humans from far away locations came, saw the vampires and how they fed off of humans, and drove them away. plenty of vampires lost their lives to this invasion, and the other humans were too easily switched over to an aggressive mob mentality towards them, so they were forced to live isolated and prey on humans in the dark. it's def possible not all of them turned against vampires, but it was too dangerous for them to stay.

Red was born around the time this happened (he's abt 2000 yo usually)........

during the time humans and vampires slowly started to be reintroduced to each other, vampiric based pop culture started to become popular in human societies so the vampires weren't too keen on the whole, slay vampires thing media was doing a lot of. because of the focus on vampires as a pop culture thing, humans started applying a lot of concepts to them on a broad scale (unable to be in the sun, garlic allergy, etc). red typically only went into human cities or villages out of curiosity, but was terrified of saying anything to them in case he was found out (esp seeing as the whole.. kill vampire thing was a popular thing in media.......)

a lot of these ideas were applied due to sightings or findings of vampiric persons by humans, but were individualistic traits that were then applied to all vampires (my fav is like, the garlic thing straight up just being one guy's allergy). (the bat turning thing is not possible for red's species of vampires, but it is possible for a fey vampire combo species that dwell in the forest. they are shapeshifters that shift between an animal/furry form and a human form).

red's species, originally being a pretty small group in a small area, has a long history of vampires taking leadership positions and even being strict about their culture and stances on interaction between them and humans (especially after the drive to exterminate them, they developed a lot of strict rules to protect their kind and youth). red's father is part of these leaders, and red was supposed to be the heir as he's the only one who turned late enough to be an actual adult, but because of his pacifist nature and generally meek demeanour he was already on his father's bad side growing up.

the day of his turning was to be held with the other leader dudes, but when provided a person to have as his first meal, he refused to hurt them and was quickly labelled a disgrace and no longer allowed to be the heir.

red's father, and plenty of the other old guys appointed leader of the species, typically regard humans as nothing more than food things and to not be considered with compassion and especially not to be mingled with. red has made a number of human friends over the centuries but learned pretty fast to make sure his dad never. ever. finds out he has them.

despite the seemingly strict ruling on their vampiric society, a lot of young vampires (and especially those from turned humans) have a large disconnect from them and usually just know they exist and have these rules, but it's not like they can do anything about their spread out community doing what they want.

my favourite part of the modern age for them is that they have a vampiric social media and the only way to be able to sign up is to be vetted by a confirmed vampire of their species. they have their own memes and whatnot, and my fav one is "the vlad". the lovingly chosen name for the human stereotype of a vampire. a lot of them use it mockingly, but there's a tonne of them who also genuinely love the vlad and make groups for being fans of it. count chocula gets posted every halloween, ofc.

red isn't super active on vampiric facebook but he is signed up. he's not good at the whole technology thing in general, but he is aware of the vlad and will often mutter "a vlad..." when he sees one, mystified.

one time a guy who was signed up was found out not to be an actual vampire and it sent the community into a frenzy cuz how tf did they get on the site when it's so strict. it instantly became a classic meme for them, the one time a vampire kinnie joined somehow (obviously im not mocking kins, i am also a kinnie). they only found out cuz the guy actually confessed and was quickly banned. no one knows who vetted them, either.

i think im done w this dump for noooow even tho im sure it's not everything just cuz my net went down like 3 times while typing this GOD

if u wanna know more abt red himself tho i could rant abt his friends and their polycule tho hee hee hoo hoo

#text #long post #red #oc #vampire #ask #sona #cyclops #furry #prince #sketch #coloured sketch

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themurderrose · 9 months

Text

yiling fertility thoughts [test tube baby A Yuan cultivated via resentful energy by WWX]

further to my evil author day fic post available at the end of this post, I am HAVING THOUGHTS about how to write more in the verse. So, let us get into it:

THINKING ABOUT WWX WHO WANTED HER OWN FAMILY SO MUCH SHE CULTIVATED A CHILD ALL BY HERSELF ONLY NOBODY BELIEVED HER AND THOUGHT SHE'D GONE AND GOTTEN HERSELF KNOCKED UP SO THEY DISOWNED HER AND LWJ DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT IT UNTIL SHE WAS GONE FAST FORWARD 4 YEARS AND WWX IS AT THE FOREFRONT OF FERTILITY RESEARCH AND CORUNS A CLINIC WITH WEN QING

I'm thinking about wwx who uses resentful energy in her fertility work, and lwj who uses like purity rituals and stuff in her fertility work, and thinking about them meeting at a medical conference where they're both lecturing

thinking about lil baby a yuan in the conference daycare, and lwj falling Fast cause there is Literally No Other Way for lwj to fall thinking about them

thinking about lwj seeing a yuan and immediately forgetting her uncles teachings about 'those born from resentful energy are poisoned and wrong' and going 'how can anyone as cute as this be poisoned and wrong'

I'm thinking about yanli and her hubby ended up with Yiling Fertility. I'm thinking that they were having lots of trouble conceiving because despite how Prevalent his father was, jin zixuan is practically completely infertile. thinking about them going to lwj and it not working even after they've gone through 3 rounds of 'pure 'Purely cultivated' ivf, and then yanli sitting up one night crying about never being able to have a child because 'a xuan i'm getting older'

thinking about zixuan going Right. thinking about him down wwx because he'd heard something through a grapevine, and booking an appointment with just him first and being all 'i know a li's family have been awful to you - your family - but professionally, do you think you could treat her? us? we really want a child, and we've been to the lan clinic for three rounds

so wwx is like 👀 👀 👀 'how is shijie? or, well, Jiang Yanli? or does she— is it Jin now? How, how is your wife?" and jzx is just, not horrified, he'd known how badly the jiangs had imploded but he hadn't known you know? And he's like 'call her Yanli, at least for now. And yes, it's Jin privately but she keeps Jiang professionally' (idk if they do that in china?! but for now at least they do) and wwx is nodding and nodding and then wen ning opens the door "can i get you tea? coffee? boss?" and wwx is like "coffee please, a ning. Jin Zixuan, I'll be five minutes, you can tell A ning what you'd like to drink." and darts from the room, running into the loos and having a controlled 3 min breakdown, washing her face, reaplying her makeup and returning to her office, controlled, in charge, The Boss ™️

thinking about how they make plans to bring Yanli in for a check up, scheduling things and wwx opens a file for them, taking notes etc. [the fic part that ive published]

thinking about JZX saying 'if you need our notes from the Lans—" and WWX is like Absolutely not we do things my way, but secretly like ooo lan zhan cause WHEN IS SHE NOT.

thinking about wwx choosing not to contact the Lan clinic because she knows she'll only get condemnation there and they likely will not pass on their records, and although she's always liked lan zhan, if wen qing taught her anything it was self preservation

anyway thinking thoughts about maybe a lz pov for another chapter...

if that intrigued you at all please check this out 👇

#fic post #drabble #worldbuilding #the untamed #wei wuxian #lan zhan #jiang yanli #jin zixuan #fertility #modern with magic

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gracecarstairss · 9 months

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Prosper Beck: His Patron and His Purpose

In Sword Catcher, Prosper Beck came into Castellane raising hell and causing problems. I am trying to figure out what his secrets are, who his wealthy patron may be, and what purpose he served in the story (and what foreshadowing he provides for book 2). Spoilers below!

THE PATRON

In Sword Catcher, we hear that Prosper Beck came out of nowhere and was already immediately powerful due to a wealthy patron. Andreyen (Ragpicker King) states:

"I wish to know who is funding Prosper Beck. I can tell you it is not just unusual for a criminal so wealthy and connected to simply appear in Castellane, like a sailor stepping off a ship; it is impossible. It takes years to build oneself up in a business. Yet Prosper Beck came from nowhere and has already moved to control the Maze." - Sword Catcher, page 105.

Not only did the wealthy patron fund Beck's entire enterprise, they also gave Beck the money AND the idea to buy up all of Conor's debts as a legal way to back Conor into a corner. If he asks the Treasury for the money, it publicly humiliates House Aurelian and make Conor seem unfit for leadership; therefore, this debt is a way to ensure Conor is going to be forced into doing something that the sponsor wants him to do. In one conversation, Kel tells Antonetta that Conor does not want to marry yet, so will likely not get married until he wants to. Antonetta responds:

"Because he's a Prince? You'd be surprised. We can all be made to do things. It simply requires finding the right way to push." - Sword Catcher, page 142.

The big question is: what does this wealthy sponsor want from Conor; what direction are they pushing him in? To pay back the debt on such short notice, Conor has few options. One is to go to the Treasury, which, as already stated, he is unlikely to do. The other main option for money is to get paid a dowry for marriage (or a loan from a wealthy noble?). Conor chooses the option of marrying a Sarthe princess to get the dowry money. It is possible that the wealthy sponsor is in league with Sarthe, and performed this ploy knowing that the dowry for a Sarthe princess is worth at least 10,000 crowns (the amount Conor owes Beck), successfully pushing Conor to marry into Sarthe and sparking outrage in Castellane, which also causes humiliation of House Aurelian and puts them in a vulnerable spot. Any way Conor tries to pay back the debt, he is screwed.

If the sponsor has a connection to Sarthe, they could be Joss Falconet, since his sister is married to a Sarthian duke, and an alliance with Sarthe would benefit his family (as stated on page 156). However, I don't think it is Joss because although he is a little smarter than Conor's other friends and might have the brains to pull it off, he has clearly stated many times that he is loyal to Conor himself, and this points to him not being the patron as he probably thinks it's in his best interest to stay close and loyal to the Prince. Kel does not closely interact with that many members of the Charter families, so at this point it is unknown if any other members have a connection with Sarthe and a reason to benefit from a Sarthe/Castellane alliance.

However, it is also possible that the noble benefactor was not interested in steering Conor in the direction of Sarthe to stir public outrage. Another option for Conor could have been asking for a loan from a wealthy noble, specifically someone in a Charter family because they are most likely to have 10,000 crowns on hand. Antonetta is the heir of the Silk Charter, which is the most powerful and wealthy charter of the 12. On page 324 of Sword Catcher, Montfaucon says that Antonetta is worth millions. If she is worth millions of crowns, then surely she has the wealth to fund Prosper Beck's operations and provide those 10,000 crowns to buy up Conor's debt. Additionally, Antonetta is intelligent and well-versed in politics, though she hides behind a persona of being vapid and clueless, and from all the nobles Kel interacts with, it is clear to me that Antonetta is the one that is most cunning and least likely to get caught. Sponsoring Beck's enterprise and presenting the idea of buying up Conor's debts is extremely ambitious and risky, something that most nobles would not even think of doing because the risks are too great. However, Antonetta seems like just the person to think up such a scheme and execute it with proficiency, all the while never getting caught because she presents herself as vapid and naive, fooling most (if not all) of the nobility.

If Antonetta is Beck's patron, her motive would likely not include Sarthe at all. She was likely trying to push Conor in her direction, looking for help to pay all this debt off on such short notice. Since she is from the most wealthy Charter family, surely she has the funds to lend Conor this debt, or at least part of it. Perhaps Antonetta's dowry is 10,000 crowns?? (We have no idea if she has a dowry). In return for the loan (or if she has a dowry), she would ask for Conor to marry her. From a conversation Kel and Antonetta have, she says that marrying Conor would give her the main thing she wants and what she has been working towards - control of the Silk Charter (page 484), because if Conor is her husband and is King, he cannot inherit her Charter and so she would inherit it instead. She was working very hard to exploit this loophole because she has little options. In this same conversation, Antonetta says:

"Of course I am interested in power. Everyone is interested in power. Power allows us to chart our own course, make our own choices. And look at my other choices, Kellian. They are few and constraining. I feel them close in on me like the walls of a labyrinth." - Sword Catcher, page 485.

However, there are many confusing problems/issues that come along with this theory that Antonetta is the wealthy patron, partly because we don't have enough information yet to make the full connections. If Conor, who is the Crown Prince, does not even have 10,000 crowns of his own unless he goes to the Treasury, how does Antonetta, who doesn't even have control of the Silk Charter, have that amount of money to loan Conor? Unless it is a dowry, it would be hard for her to get that money from somewhere. This also goes for the idea that she is funding Beck's entire enterprise - that is a HUGE amount of money, so how the hell does she have access to it? This would also mean that Antonetta gave Prosper Beck 10,000 crowns for buying up Conor's debts, and then would plan on giving Conor another 10,000 to pay off the debt (whether as a loan or a dowry). That is 20,000 crowns spent solely on pressuring Conor, which is a huge investment and might not make sense logically for Antonetta. Not to mention the insane amount of money spent to fund Prosper Beck's quick rise to wealth and power. Beck did say that he gets only a cut of the money, and so his patron gets some back, so not all 20,000 is gone. Antonetta would probably get at least 40-50% back? As far as I know, Sword Catcher does not go into much detail on how the Charters have their money set up and how they access it. The Treasury appears to be House Aurelian's money, so the Charter families likely have another way to manage their finances that we are unaware of, and this is why Antonetta may be able to get access to a bunch of money whereas Conor cannot. Still, the money trail is kind of bizarre. Plus, there is this quote from Prosper Beck when Kel meets him:

"And I am sure you wish to know where the money I used to set up my business came from. Specifically, who on the Hill gave it to me. A person who wishes very much, let us say, to destabilize the monarchy. It was their idea that I buy up Conor Aurelian's debts. And they gave the the money to do it." - Sword Catcher, page 352.

It doesn't seem like Antonetta necessarily has any goals to destabilize the monarchy (neither does Joss Falconet). Both of them would be inconvenienced by the fall of House Aurelian, so I don't think they are banking on that. From the bizarre money trail and mental gymnastics needed to be done to figure out why Antonetta would logically invest so much money into trying to trick Conor into owing her money & eventually marrying her due to that debt, I think Antonetta is not the wealthy patron. The interest in "destabilizing the monarchy" also doesn't seem to benefit Antonetta (as far as we know), so I am not banking on her being the patron.

This leaves us with barely anyone else to work with because Kel doesn't closely interact with many of the other nobles, especially the older ones. We have the suspicious Matthieu Gremont having shady meetings in the Maze (page 420) and the Roverges, who had the same brand of wine at their party that Kel saw in Beck's warehouse (page 489). Additionally, Kel had a weird interaction with Sardou, who seemingly was trying to offer...ominous(?) aid to get rid of the Sarthians on the Hill (page 491), but doesn't seem want House Aurelian to fall, so it doesn't seem like he is the most likely candidate for the patron, especially since we know the absolute least about him. Roverge and Gremont (possibly Artal Gremont is doing this business from outside of Castellane and his father was aware of it and helping out) are the most likely candidates, from what we have seen. The patron's motives other than destabilizing the monarchy are really not very well known so we'll see in The Ragpicker King once we get more information. Interestingly, the mysterious wealthy patron funding Beck is not the only odd thing about him. Is Prosper Beck even a man at all, or is he just a name - an alias - for the wealthy patron?

THE PURPOSE

Prosper Beck has some really weird, confusing demands and interests. Every interaction with him or one of his associates gives us more questions about what the hell is going on with him.

We only see him in person once in the book. I think that this man that Kel meets is actually not Beck in the first place. Very little people know what he looks like and where he resides (page 105) and even Andreyen does not know who Beck is - in fact, Andreyen asks Kel to attempt to find out who Beck is from the King (page 292), and this inquiry goes terribly with no information provided (page 308). Then, when Kel meets him, he feels like there's something weird about him:

"Kel watched him go. There was something odd about Beck, something that did not seem to quite match up, but he could not quite put his finger on it, and Jerrod and Beck did not seem to be coming back." - Sword Catcher, page 354.

"Prosper Beck had not been at all what he had imagined. That sense of wrongness, of something being off about the man, nagged at him." Sword Catcher, page 358.

There is no way that Beck just decided to meet Kel even though no other person has been able to meet him before. I think that the real Prosper Beck is actually the wealthy patron. The patron is a wealthy noble that obviously knows who Kel is, got word about the Crawlers almost killing Kel, and this guy is just an intermediary to give out orders to his employees and pretend to be Beck to throw people looking for him (like Kel) off the scent.

Next, I wanted to talk about Beck's weird ass demands. These weird demands also give the idea that Beck really is the patron because he asks really weird, specific, humiliating tasks that show that Beck would have to personally know Conor to ask of him. For example, he tells Conor to put an emetic in a wine bottle, giving it to Roverge and Montfaucon, and then telling him to kill his horse (page 391), which is horrible. Beck also gets Kel to focus on acquiring Antonetta's locket. About the locket fiasco, Kel tells Jerrod:

"And then it occurred to me. Beck wants me to be driven mad with pointless questions. He wants me to be gazing over at the locket and the Alleynes, so I won't be looking somewhere else, somewhere he doesn't want me to look." - Sword Catcher, page 513.

Clearly these ridiculous demands are supposed to just fuck with Conor and Kel and distract them from things that are going on, and are possibly chosen because the patron knows that they will obsess over these things that they care about. The patron might even know about Kel and Antonetta being interested in one another (obviously not know about the grass ring in the locket, just that Kel would grapple with the idea of betraying Antonetta), or it might have just been a request because Beck is aware they know each other and grew up together/were close friends growing up. Still, knowing these things lends the idea that Beck is the patron. It also just makes me think that there might be more to these demands than meets the eye? I'm unsure as to what that would be, though.

When Beck dips on Castellane, he gives Jerrod a message to relay to Kel. It is kind of odd that Beck wanted to give Kel an ominous message as he left. I think Beck is obviously not gone, but the alias of Prosper Beck has left. Beck's enterprise served its purpose and now the patron is moving on, so they swiftly dismantled every trace of Beck. The wealthy patron is giving Kel this message because they want to instill fear into him. This almost leads me to believe that the the patron actually knows who Kel really is, or suspects that Kel is more than he seems. The mysterious message is:

"Trouble is coming for the Hill, Anjuman, and Marivent will not be exempt. You have no idea how bad it will get. Blood will run from the height to the depth. The Hill will drown in it." - Sword Catcher, page 514.

Okay, drama queen. This actually sounds a lot like the warning from the assassin at the very end of the book. It is possible that the patron is also the person who orchestrated the attack on the palace and the assassinations of Princess Luisa, Sena Anessa, and the attempted assassination of Conor. I definitely think there might be more than one noble orchestrating these things because there has got to be at least two nobles that are actively attempting to destabilize the monarchy.

One final thing I wanted to talk about when it comes to Prosper Beck's importance/purpose in the story is Jerrod's reactions to Kel. Jerrod is Beck's right hand man (you could say that Jerrod is...at his beck and call). When Kel first interacts with the Crawlers, Jerrod is the first person to realize that Kel is not the Prince, and actually tries to deter the other Crawlers from trying to kill him immediately (before the arrows start flying):

"She started toward Kel, Kaspar and the others following. Kel flexed his hands at his sides, preparing to fight. Jerrod, to his surprise, hadn't moved. He was still holding on to the front of Kel's jacket.

'Back off, Lola,' he said. 'And the rest of you. Listen to me-'" - Sword Catcher, page 186.

After Kel is stabbed and lying in the alley, Jerrod asks him who he is and apologizes to him about what happened. He is still acting pretty weird. It seems like he might actually recognize him from somewhere? Then, at the end of the book, in Kel and Jerrod's last interaction, Kel asks why he didn't just kill him, but instead left him dying. This is his response:

"'You've made plenty of trouble for me,' Jerrod said shortly. 'The answer is simple. I saw Ji-An on the wall. She seemed invested in keeping you alive, and I didn't want to go directly against the Ragpicker King.'

It was a sound enough reason, but it didn't sit quite right with Kel. Something about the whole situation gnawed at him." - Sword Catcher, page 514.

This is so bizarre. I have looked at the prologue and there doesn't appear to be anyone matching Jerrod's name or description when Kel is in the Orfelinat, so Jerrod probably wouldn't know him from there. I almost suspected that he used to be Kel's friend Cas, but Cas has a much different physical description than Jerrod (he has dark hair, while Cas is blonde w/ freckles; that's basically all I could find). Also, I would think that Kel would recognize that he was Cas after a while. They are definitely not the same person. I just don't know how Jerrod recognized him or whatever happened there. It seemed like he may not have met Kel before, but possibly heard about the Sword Catcher and suspects it to be Kel - we still have no idea how Andreyen found out that Kel was the Sword Catcher (we maybe can assume that his spies in the Palace found out and relayed the information to him?). It may be possible that Jerrod found out information from some of these spies, or found out the information through Prosper Beck (the fake intermediary) from the patron. Running with this theory, the assassin at the end of the book knew that Kel was the Sword Catcher, and if we can assume that Beck's patron is behind the Palace attack, then it's possible that the patron knows who Kel really is. I think I'm just running my mind in circles trying to figure it out when in reality I don't think we have enough information yet.

Overall, I think that Prosper Beck is the alias of the patron, who is controlling all of Beck's enterprises. This patron's identity is still up in the air, but I am betting on either Roverge, Gremont, or Sardou - all of which seem kind of obvious though, seeing that they have all been seen with shady ties to the Maze (Roverge, Gremont) or ominous conversations that hint to having shady ambitions (Sardou). Even though I like the theory that Antonetta is the patron, I don't think it makes sense with her character (unless she is a huge anti-monarchist, or will highly benefit from the fall of House Aurelian, which remains to be seen).

The main purpose of Beck's character is, evidently, to cause a monumental shift in the power dynamics of the Hill, destabilizing the monarchy and making House Aurelian vulnerable. Not only is this patron using the alias of Prosper Beck to cause chaos within the Hill, but also within the Ragpicker King's business as well. From the disruption of both House Aurelian and the Ragpicker King, the patron was able to prevent the two from interacting (likely responsible for killing the guard that was the go-between for King Markus and Andreyen), further maintaining Castellane's vulnerability and hiding the identity of the patron. This patron is really well-versed in everything that's going on both in the Hill and in the City, so I think that they are definitely going to be spending a lot of effort to kill Kel in book 2, seeing as the assassin wasn't too happy with his interference in Conor's assassination attempt. It is unclear what the end goal is - Castellane takeover? Maybe the anti-monarchists want to make it a democracy? We will find out in book 2, I suppose!

#all i know is that kel is gonna destroy this wealthy patron fr #thanks to the two people who read this full thing!#cc please postpone twp so we can get the ragpicker king earlier!! i need it so bad #sword catcher #kel saren #the ragpicker king #antonetta alleyne

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