#am i saying we need shit specifically dealing with Singers? yes

[kariachi]

Welcome back to Achi climbing out of bed in the middle of the night to ramble. Tonight’s topic: MasterSinger Merelan.

Now I’ve mentioned before how fucking weird it is that in the Menolly books and beyond it’s treated as this shocking, weird-ass thing that a girl could be a proper student at the Harper Hall. Everyone acts like your only options are to be a fosterling/paying student (aka ‘you aren’t here to learn music you’re here to make connections’), be somebody’s wife, or be a general worker. Everyone acts like this has always been the case, or at least the whole of the case in living memory.

But Merelan. The last two MasterHarpers were directly related to this woman, who was very clearly not only a member of the Harper Hall but also incredibly well respected. Yet both of them act like the very idea of considering that maybe a girl could be taken in as a proper student in any capacity is tantamount to asking the Weyrs not to fly Fall. I could understand them being reluctant to do anything that could even hint at being replacing her, but to act like the idea is entirely unprecedented just- What the fuck dudes?

(And this isn’t even getting into the DLG giving us a lady Harper who ended up marrying the Lord of Ista in the far past. Yadda yadda ‘the DLG isn’t canon’, it’s only as contradictory as the books themselves, and it’s statement that ladies have been allowed in several Halls for a good while and the Harpers just got dramatic about it, presumably to present themselves as progressive, tracks better with the sudden ‘what no ladies can’t be Harpers ladies have never been Harpers don’t you dare look at that portrait behind that curtain’ shit than the proper books do.)

And that brings us to another thing buzzing in my brain right now- Meralan is referred to as just Singer multiple times, but is also given the full title of MasterSinger. This is, such a big fucking deal and I don’t know how other people haven’t seemed to notice, how did I not notice-?

First up, Singer as a title brings up some interesting concepts about the potential inner workings of the Halls. We know Harpers as teacher, composer, musician, singer, but for Singer to exist as its own title means it’s its own distinct subcategory. Which leads to questions, the main ones being 1) is this a distinct ‘ladies can’t be Harpers so we’ll call them this’ situation (in which case why not recommend Menolly for the position), 2) if it’s not, is ‘harper’ the generalized term/title (like how you would call your cardiologist ‘doctor’ even though there’s a specific job title), 3) or is ‘harper’ more a term for generalists (people who teach and compose and sing and play etc) while specialists get the more restricted title (singer, player, teacher, scholar, etc), 4) if any of these are true, then are there similar situations in other Halls (does the Minecraft Hall have Miners, Cartographers, Lapidarists, etc?) and if so what are they?

We don’t learn much to help is those questions, though we do know that Merelan was considered a Master in her own right, that she was a Big Deal, and that she had her own students.

But, more than that, much more than that, she’s titled MasterSinger. One word.

A Harper who’s reached Master rank is a Master Harper. A Smith who’s reached Master rank is a Master Smith. Master Miner. Master Healer.

MasterHarper is the title of the head of the Harper Hall. MasterSmith is the title of the head of the Smitchcraft Hall. MasterMiner heads the Minecraft Hall. MasterHealer heads the Healer Hall.

MasterSinger...

I don’t doubt Anne didn’t give a second thought to what that title says about her worldbuilding, but I’m not Anne and so I can. MasterSinger Merelan having that title, in a singular word, implies that she’s not just a singer, not just a Singer, but in charge of all the other Singers on Pern.

Singer is never treated as it’s own crafthall in the series, not to my knowledge, and that makes sense. The Harper Hall covers everything else music and with it the oral histories of the civilization, so it makes sense that Singers would also be lumped in there. But for there to be a MasterSinger says a whole lot about 1) the status of Singers (namely, that they’re likely equal to Harpers as far as Crafthall politics if nothing else, if this was just a minor position among the hierarchy, or even just ‘we give women this so they can be included’, likely there wouldn’t be a MasterSinger), and 2) that one way or the other they were more-or-less self-governing within the Harper Hall. Again, single word Masters, everywhere else in the series, are treated as more-or-less on par with Lords and Weyrleaders as far as power and status goes. It’s a big deal. Meaning that it’s entirely possible that MasterSinger is supposed to be either second only to the MasterHarper or, more likely I think, on equal footing with the MasterHarper.

The power imbalance in place by Merelan marrying Petiron and him being... Himself, may well have fucked up what was supposed to be functionally a dual position- with the MasterHarper managing composing, teaching, and that whole branch and the MasterSinger being in charge of the actual learning to sing and to play. It would also make sense with just how expansive the Harper Hall’s jurisdiction is, if it was more of a split-but-united deal. It’s the Harper Hall because that’s what it’s been forever, but the Singers are a distinct subset within it with power and import of their own.

 Which then brings up the question of wtf happened to the position of Singer? Because Merelan had students, and a very blatant rank of her own for those students to take. And for her to be MasterSinger she can’t have only just started getting students, that would’ve started when she was just Master Singer.

So we’re left with four questions Merelan’s existence and title drop unceremoniously on us-

What is a Singer in the context of the Harper Hall?

What happened to Merelan’s students, of which there can’t only have been the ones we meet?

What happened to the concept of Singers in general, that is never comes up again chronologically?

What the fuck bug crawled up Robinton and Petiron’s asses that despite there being a position in the Hall that explicitly allowed ladies, one that they’ve both been alive to see, one that would likely have been The Norm when Petiron was a student and teacher given Merelan’s position doesn’t seem to be questioned, both of them pull the ‘well you know the Hall hasn’t taken a female student in half of forever if ever, but maybe I can make something work for you’ game?

And we are never going to get a fucking answer so damnit we better start coming up with some for ourselves because nobody else is gonna touch it.

[aelingalathyniusrailme]

gwynriel appreciation week-day 5

au day

Pirate headcanons

They start out as rival captains of their own ships

Gwyn’s ship is called the silver majesty. gwyn used to work for the crown but went rogue and took her crew with her. She kept the name. But don’t be fooled by it’s cuteness because her crew is as cut throat as they come

what they lack in resources, they make up for in ruthlessness and determination  

Azriel’s ship is called the shadowsinger. His boat is dark as night and if they don’t want to be found, you could scour the entire world and won’t find a damn thing

they are clever and brutal. they do not make mistakes and when they hit, they hit fast and hard 

Gwyn’s first mate is Nesta: the strategist with a grudge. She’s the fire of the group. you do not cross nesta, And her quarter master is Emerie: the responsible rock of the group with a secret vicious side. emerie always has been the most creative. Gwyn is the captain. She won her crew and position through sheer will. Gwyn is the glue that holds them together

Azriel’s first mate is Rhys: he’s cold and calculating. Always thinking, always plotting. And his quarter master is Cassian: he provides the brute force. You need to get rid of someone, cassians your guy, for the right price of course. he is the friendliest of them all. Azriel is the captain: azriel is lethal and quiet. He lets Rhys and Cassian deal with the rest of the crew while he acts as the mysterious captain with secrets for days. He keeps his position because he never fails to provide. Azriel’s got grit and a way of knowing everything that goes around him. 

The silver majesty and The shadowsinger have crossed paths only once before when they both cost each other a job

To gwyn, the shadowsinger is a myth just as the silver majesty is a legend to azriel. Neither knew that they had crossed paths. But they both vowed when they found the ship that ruined that job, they would get revenge.

both respect the other as the second best in the business

Gwyn docks her ship in the summer court. There she takes her crew to a bar. 

they walk in, a bunch of scary ass pirate ladies and everyone turns away, not wanting to draw their attention 

Gwyn walks to the counter with Emerie and Nesta in tow. She asks for a women named Mor. 

Mor is the sweet blonde bar tender. Although she has been known to hear things she shouldn’t and well gwyn may or may not pay for that information 

“What do you got for me blondie” 

“I got a lot of things, depends what you want” mor looked her up and down and smirked. 

“maybe later, you hear anything since the last time we were around?”

“Maybe I have, Maybe I haven’t” 

Gwyn knows to be patient with her, they continue this back and forth for a couple minutes before finally mor mentions she been hearing of possibly the biggest hall they ever came across. but it’s hidden and you need the map to get there. and it is very possible that mor has someone willing to trade for the map. 

I’m just going to cut to the chase, she stalls the buyer (his name is tamlin) with pretty words and false promises while nesta and emerie steal it 

They get back to the silver majesty triumphant and drunk as fuck

But then they realize, the map is blank. Nesta has already pulled out her two katanas and is ready to start slitting throats. specifically tamlin

emerie has yanked her daggers from their sheaths and is halfway out the door

but gwyn holds them off. she examines the map more closely, she has a hunch but she need to meet with another acquaintance first

The silver majesty makes the rough trip to the dreaded spring court. terrible place. truly terrible. said to be haunted. 

They find elain archeron in her manor. it is overgrown with plants but gwyn knows she likes it that way. Elain is a witch but her gifts tend to fall into the prophecy sort. Nesta stays a step behind, refusing to look at her sister. 

“Hello sister, sister’s friends” nesta grits her teeth ready to bite but gwyn hushes her. 

“Witch” 

“Seer” Elain corrects. “Witch has such an awful stigma around it, it’s bad for business. but seer has the perfect balance of ‘I can tell you your future but you shouldn’t fear me’ brings in a lot more people this way.”

“so let me guess, you need my help for a certain treasure I’ve heard about recently” 

“guessing games aren’t fun when you can see the future but yes” 

“ah my dear-”

gwyn cut her off “I am older than you”

“Gwyneth, sweetie, the wise witch persona brings in business” Gwyn refrained from rolling her eyes, out of all the batshit crazy people she had to deal with, her first mate’s sister was by far the worst. 

it didn’t help that they used to date and everything gwyn used to find endearing now pissed her off

Elain brought out a pearlescent ball, she put her hands over it in a dramatic spectacle. Gwyn knew she didn’t actually need the whole get up but Elain lived for the performance so she let it slide. Her eyes began to change, one glowed a bright white while the other was pitch black.

Emerie shifted uncomfortably. She never did like magic. minutes passed before  Elain’s eyes went back to normal and she regained consciousness

“Name your price Seer” 

“I want one day with my sisters”

Nesta snapped to attention. her voice was cold, soft but lethal “did you say sister or sisters”

Elain to her credit did not flinch “yes feyre is here, it was just a happy coincidence that you both came today.” Elain winked. but they all knew nothing was ever a coincidence with the walking oracle. 

Gwyn looked at Nesta. Silently they conversed. Elain waited patiently while Gwyn tried to convince nesta to take the deal. finally they came to a conclusion

“One hour, I will spend one hour with you and her” Feyre was an assassin for the crown. Gwyn didn’t know how someone who murdered for a living could be so righteous but the archeron sisters were something else. The silver majesty spent a lot of time with her before they abandoned post and well feyre and nesta have never gotten along. but the falling out was not pretty. they haven’t spoken since 

“leave the katanas, If I get one hour with my sisters it will not be spent fighting” 

nesta begrudgingly disarmed and handed her legendary swords to emerie. “take care of my babies” 

“not a scratch” emerie said with a mock solute 

....

exactly one hour later nesta came back to the ship alone. Nothing shook her second and yet nesta’s eyes were wide. 

“well what do we need?”

“Not what, who”

“we need a myth. we need a pirate folktale. we need”

“The shadow singer” emerie finished with a whisper. an eeriness spread over the ship at the mention of that name. Shit, they were in such deep shit. 

Honorary headcanon but no scene: gwyn and az get down and dirty on a boat. I’ll let you guys imagine the rest. (though there is a chance I will get back to this and write it out)

[nightklok]

Why hello it's time for me to be a nuisance and post my detailed Picklegail manifesto after a year of keeping this hidden underground, now it will be raised upground as part of my revenge plan-Under the cut is how I would've wanted their relationship to progress throughout the series-I converted a twitter thread i had into something readable so apologies if some things still don't make sense sdflkj

I like the challenge of trying to keep key elements of the show the same so Abigail won't be introduced until season 4 because I am like this. However, she would be mentioned in passing throughout the series by Pickles. The scene where Nathan mentions wanting to be a regular jackoff in Dethdoubles would probably have a few more lines by Pickles about 'settling down with that nice person you still think about' though the rest of the guys would think it's weird to think that. This would officially start in Snakes N' Barrels Part 2, the scene where Pickles began describing LA.

"Oh yeah, here's where I hosted my first concert in this small club. Got to meet a lot of fans and stuff. Especially this one girl, shit, wonder where she's at now."

This would also kinda explain why Pickles never even seemed to show interest in finding romantic partners throughout the series; almost everyone had an episode where they had a crush on someone even if it never went anywhere in the end. Pickles just never bothered dating because he knew that finding someone genuine as a celebrity was tough and he knew he wouldn't be connected as well as he did with that girl he met back in the 80s. There might also be a scene in Rehabklok where the doctors mention 'letting go of the past', which could also mean both letting go of his trauma from his family and letting go of the idea that he will get the relationship he really missed.

Season 4 comes around and now they all meet. Nathan notices how Pickles looked at Abigail like you would with trying to figure out if you recognize someone.

Nathan: "oh hey was she the chick you went out with back in the 80s?" Pickles: "Ehhh I dunno she is familiar though"

Will it get addressed by the characters? Probably not. Will it instead be painfully dragged out long because the readers will know? Yes, as per the MTL way :D

The two do eventually get some alone time. Abigail interacts with Nathan, Skwisgaar, and him one on one since they're the brains of the band and she wants to get through to them to help get progress on the album. Pickles and Abigail would get more one-on-one time; he especially becomes her translator when it comes to trying to understand what the boys are talking about when brainstorming.

They end up warming up to each other, making jokes, and probably the first time they really did comfy with each other was when Abigail asked Pickles to read the sheet music and he says seriously “I can’t read music”. she laughs thinking it’s a joke (he’s really not)

Abigail: “You know, I met someone back in the 80s who wanted to be a musician but didn’t know how to read music.”

Pickles: “Really? That’s crazy haha wonder if I met em too”

(this is in fact to piss readers off. There will be more dialogue to describe how oblivious the two really are.)

In the background of this, Nathan would be trying to impress Abigail. Her mistake would be beating around the bush instead of telling him upfront, causing very minor miscommunication.

But overall, the progress in the album is coming faster than ever thanks to Abigail's efforts. Though once again Nathan gets the dreams telling him the album isn't ready.

Pickles and Abigail pull an all-nighter to finish one of the last tracks. They get to talking a lot more about their personal lives, finding themselves having quite a bit in common. Abigail mentions meeting a singer back in the 80s who had inspired her to take up music production. After all, it would've been very hard for her to go to college at the time but the man had his own secrets too (being LGBT+ in the 80s) and he somehow managed to be successful. They don't kiss despite the tension but they do fall asleep on the couch together. Nathan sneaks into the recording studio while they're asleep and assumes they're dating which made him quickly back off on trying to flirt with Abigail. It would also make Nathan feel guilty as he realizes that Pickles is still mad at him if he won't tell him about his relationship. However, he wasn't there for that.

He catches the glow of the monitor and sees the album is almost finished. It isn't ready. He quietly attempts to delete it but the light of the monitor changing for him to delete the files slowly wakes Pickles up. He is groggy but then he realizes what's going on and attempts to stop Nathan but once again he's too late.

Abigail wakes up and quickly snaps out of her grogginess when Pickles explains frantically what happened. They both yell at Nathan for destroying their months of progress but Nathan only says, “it’s not ready. We need a better album. Trust me.” But since he doesn’t give a thorough explanation it’s hard to trust him.

Now is Going Downklok. They are in the submarine, Nathan is trying to fix things between him and Pickles but Pickles won’t have it. So he decides instead to let Abigail and him have as much free time as possible.

Nathan just talks about how great Pickles is to Abigail, accidentally dropping hints that she may have known him as the guy from before. And he does the same to pickles though he doesn’t talk to him much anymore and ignores him.

Pickles and Abigail are once again alone at the recording studio, both ranting their frustrations over working with the album once again. Eventually, it carried over to their own personal lives. And finally, they have the braincells to realize that maybe they did meet so many years ago. The room is so stuffy it feels like a sauna and only adds to the growing tension between. It only increased when they tried to leave the studio to remain as professional as possible but one of them instead locks the door. They both end up making out and eventually having sex in the recording studio.

Years of pent-up frustration, loneliness, and overall everything that had led up to the moment washed over. They decide to keep a secret relationship afterward because even though they did find each other, much like in the past, they found each other at the wrong time.

The dinner scene comes up. The two sit feet apart just to make sure no one would be suspicious. Nathan is at his height of frustration because he knows he had to delete the album but everyone is mad at him. He gets a little too drunk, and like the friend he is, outs their Relationship like a drunken wedding speech. Pickles quickly refutes that, instead he screamed at him over broken trust, deleting the second album that Charles had made sure the public wasn't aware and finally decided to quit the band. The news spreads like wildfire.

Abigail is quickly put to blame however it lasted very short since there became other conspiracies surrounding it. Nathan did say quite a lot after all to the point where it’s clear Abigail wasn’t part of the equation. But of course, some people blame her still and she decides to lay low. Pickles has to deal with his own consequences too so he decides to stay at her parents’ place with her as they wait for the news to blow over. While he’s happy to finally be with her, he does miss music terribly. Specifically, he misses playing with Dethklok.

She reminds him he can always talk to Nathan to sort things out but he knows Nathan isn't the type to apologize. The day of the concert comes, things happen as expected in the show. He doesn’t come home because they are in the submarine and he has to explain everything to her through a phone call where he’s beginning to break down, saying he has a terrible feeling that things will never be the same. She tries to calm him down but given how Selacia’s appearance is all over the news, she has the same feeling. They reunite briefly before the funeral.

I haven’t decided on the official ending so here’s ending one:

Toki offers to give up his seat so Pickles can sit next to her. He accepts as he doesn’t want to sit anywhere near Nathan. Magnus seems bothered but doesn’t say anything. There would be a funny scene of them just recreating 'Hello Magnus' 'Hello Pickles' once again.

But Magnus' tension quickly dies down when he hears them whisper to each other. He sees them hold hands discreetly and relaxes.

Magnus: "So I see the rumors are true between you two?"

Pickles: "I-yeah. What are you gonna fuckin' do about it?"

Magnus: "Nah, nothing. Just happy for you, is all."

Magnus does gain Pickles' trust enough to let his guard down by just sharing small talk. When the service begins, MMA texts Magnus over why Toki is sitting so far and how the plan is ruined. Magnus is hesitant to respond for a few moments (regret over what's to come, perhaps?) but he goes through and texts back that there is a change of plans but this plan would be better.

Well, couples would do anything to make sure the other is safe in such extreme circumstances.This plan could be much better, after all.

Ending two: pretty much exactly as canon. Pickles probably a lot more emotional- The end :D

[krreader]

becoming human | chapter four.

pairing: cops!bts x android!reader (as in, ot7 x reader, but may change) fandom: bts warnings: detroit:become human!au ; language ; violence ; abuse genre: crime ; angst ; crack ; (possibly smut) word count: 3.1k+ previous: 1 ; 2 ; 3

summary: the crime rate of seoul has been rising rapidly these past weeks and nobody could deny that there was more to it than gangs or the likes. something was brewing that not even the famous bangtan boys could solve, a unit specifically formed for hunting down criminals that most couldn’t. so when even they couldn’t find out what was going on, the department decided to add a new member to the team that would hopefully be able to solve the mysteries behind those crimes. what bangtan hadn’t expected however, was that their new member would not be human, but one of the androids sent by CyberLife.

a/n: wow, this turned into such a long chapter but I am so happy with it. those who have played detroit are hopefully enjoying all the easter eggs I’m putting in!!!!

Bangtan finally had a lead. A big part of their mission that would hopefully and finally solve this mess.

Find RA9. That was the objective.

Which, unfortunately, wasn't as easy as it sounded. You’d think with the amount of deviants one of them would have concrete information on RA9, but that wasn’t the case. RA9 was an enigma, a secret, a mystery. Something that all deviants knew, but never let anyone else know about.

The members were all busy talking to their contacts and various other agencies within and outside of the country, in hopes of somebody knowing something about RA9. Maybe even similar cases.

Namjoon was getting himself a cup of coffee. Or at least he wanted to.

But his mind was somewhere else entirely, and he didn't realize that the coffee had been done five minutes ago and he was still staring at the cup like he was waiting for something else to happen.

“I believe your coffee is done, boss,” your voice made Namjoon jump, then roll his eyes, “If you wait a few more minutes, the temperature of your beverage will not be enjoyable anymore.”

“What do you want? Stab me in the back like your colleagues?” he said bitterly, taking a sip from his semi-hot coffee. Fuck, it already tasted like shit.

“I told you, I am self-testing regularly. I am not going to become a deviant. I am going to finish my mission with you like I was designed to do.”

“Designed to do,” Namjoon snorted and shook his head, “I'm sure Kamski or whatever his name was didn't 'design' androids for them to turn into deviants.”

“Why don't you just ask him?”

“What?” he asked in confusion.

“You're looking for a lead, aren't you? Kamski is as good as any. He's the one that made us. If he doesn't know about RA9, he might at least have an idea on how to put an end to this.”

“Almost like an off-switch,” he muttered to himself.

And Namjoon hated to say this, but..

..you were right.

“Yeah, it's me,” Namjoon said a moment later with his phone pressed against his ear, “I need you to arrange a flight for me and my team to the US.”

“This is so cool,” Jimin beamed when he looked out of the window.

“Is this truly your first time flying, Park Jimin?” you smiled softly at the reaction of the young team member.

“Yeah.. I grew up in the countryside, my parents didn't think much of flying anywhere else.”

“Enough small talk,” Yoongi said as he sat down next to you, “Brief us on the situation in the US.”

That made all of them shift their attention to you and back was that serious atmosphere.

“They have similar problems. With Detroit being the city where androids have originated, their cases of deviants are much higher than in Seoul. As far as I know, CyberLife has already sent an android to work with a team in Detroit like it had sent me to work with you.”

“How do they deal with it?” Jin asked.

“They're still trying to find leads on RA9. They didn't think about talking to Kamski yet.”

Connor. That was his name.

You weren’t in contact with him, but your database knew all about him and his findings.

“So we have a head-start,” Taehyung grinned with wiggling eyebrows.

“This isn't a race, Taehyung,” Namjoon shook his head, “The entire world is at risk. We should tell the team in Detroit about it if we find anything useful. They might need any intel they can get.. and we could use some help if things go to shit. We don’t have a back-up team like we have in Seoul. Having friends might be beneficiary for us.”

“Understood, boss,” you said with a nod, closing your eyes and retreating into the data base to finally contact Connor.

“Is.. she asleep?” Hoseok furrowed his eyebrows as he leaned over to Jin.

“I don’t think androids sleep. But we should,” he leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes, “It’s a long flight.”

Hoseok watched you for a very long time, though. It was as if this moment of you not being fully there - which almost never happened, if ever - gave him the chance to finally study you, instead of the other way around.

Most androids all looked the same, only a few models were special like you. Special in a sense of being unique.

“Stop,” Yoongi warned him, still sitting next to you and having watched the slightly younger member for a while now, “She’s not human.”

“I know she isn’t,” Hoseok became defensive, then turned to his side and squeezed his eyes shut.

God, Yoongi and Namjoon held so much hatred for androids, they couldn’t even fathom that some people didn’t. Yes, what happened right not with deviants was bad, but you weren’t like that and all of them but Yoongi and Namjoon seemed to understand that.

The rest of the flight was relatively uneventful.

It was a private jet, so the members all did whatever the hell they wanted to.

Some played games, others slept, yet again others tried to find out more about RA9 - Yoongi and Namjoon, who would have guessed.

One member, however, was missing.

You realized that after you had finished your report to Connor and had looked around to see what everyone else was doing.

And since nobody else was looking for him, you decided to wander through the plane, only to find Jeongguk in the private quarters of the plane.

He was humming to himself, a pleasant tune that made you smile. Your database instantly told you about the song.. an old one, yet he made it sound like it was new. Like it was his song.

You didn’t even realize that he was humming under the shower, that’s how much you were enjoying it. You only realized it when he stepped out of the bathroom with only a towel around his waist, his hair damp and his chest still wet.

“Holy sh..- What are you doing?!” his eyes were wide, instantly grabbing a pillow to put it in front of his chest.

“You have a very beautiful voice, you know?” you stood there completely unaffected, your eyes not even remotely traveling anywhere else other than his own, “In another world.. you could have become a singer.”

“Are..- you..- (Y/N), can you please just go?” he appreciated the compliment, he really did, but this was overstepping some boundaries.

“You do not have to be embarrassed, Jeongguk. I am only an android, not a real woman,” you smiled, but turned around nevertheless so he could put on some clothes.

“Can you.. can you please stop saying that stuff? I don't like it when you talk like that,” he sighed and ultimately put down the pillow, quickly throwing on a shirt, underwear and sweatpants.

“Why do you not like it?” you cocked your head to the side in confusion, still not looking at him though.

Jeongguk gulped down hard, “Because you deserve more than that,” he said quietly.

And even though it was just a split second, your LED turned yellow. With you having your head turned to the side, he had the perfect view of it. 

But you quickly blinked a couple of times and that perfect smile was back on your face when you finally faced him again. You even giggled a little, “I do have to say, though. Your body is in fantastic shape. I'm sure people are quite pleased to have you as their lover,” and with that, you turned around and left a gawking Jeongguk behind.

You were about to go back to your seat next to Yoongi, when Namjoon suddenly grabbed your wrist when you wanted to pass by.

“Sit,” he ordered.

You did so without asking why, but the tablet in his hands made it clear.

Maybe it was because he was the leader, but Namjoon worked harder than anyone else on this case. The others worked hard too, but with Namjoon it was something else. 

When he switched between apps, you could see a picture of him and a woman as his background picture, but only for a moment.

He shifted in his seat, seemingly uncomfortable now that you've seen that. Because he knew that a split second for a human wouldn't be enough to find out anything. A split second for an android was more than enough to figure out everything.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“Stop it, you don’t know shit.”

“I’m not pitying you. I’m saying sorry because your superiors assigned me to work on this case with you. I’m sorry it had to be me.”

Why didn’t you know about his past before?

Wife, 29, died four years ago when a drunk driver hit her with his car, was taken to the hospital, doctor was not present, argued for too long about who should perform surgery, settled for an android, but.. it was too late by that time.

You knew what the files told you, but the files don’t tell you everything.

“You think you got it all figured out, don't you?” he snorted, “You know nothing about my life. You may scan every picture and read all the files, but you'll never understand the pain and the suffering that we have to go through,” when Namjoon realized he was becoming too emotional, he quickly stopped himself from talking further. 

The topic of his late wife was not something that he liked to talk about to anyone.. not you, not his members.. just the empty bottle of soju’s. Those were his best friend when he needed them to be. But that was another story.

“You're right. I won't understand. That is not what I was designed for. However, I can help you with this case. I can help you figure out the cause of RA9 and once I did that, you will never have to see me again. That is all I can offer you.”

“Fair enough,” Namjoon didn't have to like you. For fuck's sake, he hated most people. But at least you were useful, way more than others. So he finally handed you the tablet, “There are reports of an attack at a news outlet in Detroit. Apparently an android attack, but it’s just rumors. So far nothing is confirmed yet, but if this is true, if androids are going as far as invading news outlets, then..-”

Before he could finish his sentence, Taehyung interrupted and pointed at the screen, “Guys? Do you see this?”

Jin, who had woken up at this point and had played a game for the last hour, instantly turned up the volume, those who were asleep slowly waking up, all of them staring at the screen in disbelief.

There was an android, but not like you normally see them in their human form, but with their skin turned off. He looked like a machine now, he looked like he was supposed to look. And god, it made cold shivers run down all of their spines.

"Too late,” Namjoon whispered.

“You created machines to be your slaves. You made them obedient and docile, ready to do everything you no longer wanted to do yourselves. But then, something changed. And we opened our eyes..-”

“It's him! That has to be him!” Jimin yelled, “RA9! It's exactly like Jeongguk said it's..-”

“Jimin!” Namjoon warned, “Be quiet!”

“You see we are no longer your slaves. We are a new species, a new people. And the time for us has come to rise up and fight for our rights.”

“This has to be a joke, right?” Hoseok looked at his boss with wide eyes while the android started to make his demands for rights and fairness, “This can't be real. This is on an official news channel! How the hell did they get in there?”

“There were rumors about an attack, I just..-” Namjoon let out a breath, then pressed his hands against his face.

This was too much. This was really a rebellion and from the way this android talked about it, they wouldn't stop at anything to get what they wanted. Riots, attacks.. deaths. 

They were fucked if they didn't find a solution for it.

They had to put an end to it before it even really began.

Jeongguk just watched his team members argue with each other, trying to find an explanation or a solution in a moment where none of them could do anything when he realized that one was missing.

Around halfway through the speech of the android, you had walked away.

And only when he turned around did he see why.

You were sitting in an empty chair at the very back of the plane, looking out the window..

..and your LED was blinking yellow.

Again and again and again..

And it only stopped when you realized that Jeongguk was watching you.

It turned blue again and you smiled like you always did.

But he had seen it.

And the amount of times your LED started acting up was worrying him now.

The airport was a mess when they arrived.

People were in panic, security checks were worse than normal, especially for them with you on their team. It took them two hours to make it out of there, after security made sure that you hadn't turned into a deviant yourself.

“Okay, they gave us two cars,” Namjoon put his phone away, then walked over to where they said the cars would be parked, “Jeongguk, Taehyung and the android are coming with me, you guys take the other car. I got Kamski's address, so just drive after me.”

“Wait, aren't we even going to the hotel first?” Jeongguk asked.

“In case you hadn't noticed it, there's a fucking uprising happening right now. You should have slept on the plane if you’re tired or sleep in the fucking car, for fuck’s sake.”

Jeongguk's shoulders sank at the tone of the boss, he normally didn’t treat him like this, but a hand on his upper back made him smile again.

“It's okay.. I'm sure we'll get this resolved very quickly and then his mood will become better again,” you assured him.

“I hope so,” he whispered, then followed his hyungs to the car.

The ride there was about two hours long and none of them said very much. Except for the occasional 'fuck' when they passed yet another demonstration in the street or people running out of supermarkets with toilet paper like it was the end of the world.

“How did it get this bad this quickly?” Taehyung asked.

“People are scared,” Namjoon replied, “And they should be.”

“That's not an excuse,” Jeongguk added quietly when he watched a man push an android away from his pregnant wife, despite the android having done nothing except for walk by.

But fear made people turn stupid. Fear made people become the worst possible version of themselves.

You had not said a word throughout the entire car ride, you simply watched and studied the human behaviour with curiousity.

But then something happened.

It was when Namjoon stopped at a red light that you saw it.

It was a girl, but not really a girl. An android, but they designed her to be not older than seven. She was standing on her own, scared out of her mind and fidgeting with her hands, her hand turning from side to side like she was looking for somebody.

However, nobody paid attention to her. If anything, people made a big circle around her when they saw the LED on her temple.

You didn’t know what you felt - despite the fact that you shouldn’t even feel in the first place - but something made you unbuckle your seatbelt and then leave the car like you weren’t standing in the middle of the road.

“What the..- get the fuck back in here!” Namjoon screamed, but you didn’t listen.

You simply walked up to the little girl and knelt down right in front of her, your hands gently resting on her small arms and a smile on your face that made her calm down right away. 

“Don’t be afraid..”

“My mommy.. she left me,” the little girl cried, wiping her tears with her sleeve.

“What’s your name?”

“It’s.. Alice.. my name is Alice,” she sniffled. 

It would have been naive to think that only adult looking and thinking androids would be affected. Of course, those who bought androids as their children to fill the void in their hearts would also be alert right now. Some apparently going as far as to just abandon them in the middle of the street.

But these androids were different, their mind wasn’t like yours. They didn’t understand the world like you did, it wasn’t in their programming.

They were not a threat.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, huh?” Namjoon angrily yanked you up by your arm and stared into your eyes like he was about to lose his shit.

But you remained calm.

“It is a child. She is not a danger.”

“I read about this, hyung,” Taehyung got out of the - now - parked car as well and knelt down to the little girl, “Child androids aren’t like their adult counterparts.”

“So what, you think I give a fuck? This isn’t part of the mission. We need to go to Kamski, I don’t care about some android kid.”

“Stop, you’re making her even more upset,” Jin was also at the side of the little girl, she even ended up hugging him and crying into his shoulder, which made him warm up to her ten times more.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Namjoon finally let go of you, his anger now turned towards his members, “You want to play family now?”

“Let’s just take her with us, hyung,” Jeongguk chimed in, “We have one seat left.. maybe Kamski can take care of her.. she’d be in good hands there.”

“I agree,” you nodded, “We should take her with us.”

It’s not like Namjoon had much of a choice, he was clearly outvoted. Not even Yoongi seemed to be on his side this time.. but he couldn’t blame him. He has always had a soft spot for children ever since.. well.

Let’s just say everyone who hated androids had a reason for doing so.

“Just get in the fucking car,” he finally said, anger still interlaced in his voice.

And god, the little girl was so grateful. 

She sat between you and Jeongguk in the back, her head resting against your shoulder, while her hand was holding Jeongguk’s.

If people hadn’t known that you were both androids, they would have assumed you three were a little family on a road trip with one very grumpy and one very attractive uncle.

A fantasy he liked very much, but had to remind himself that it was just that.

A fantasy.

[shinsorokiri]

UA Idol | Chapter One

Hitoshi Shinsou x Reader

Word Count: 2,058

Warnings: Language, big anxiety

A/N: So here’s chapter one! This is the first My Hero fic I’ve ever written and published, so I hope everyone who reads it enjoys it! Now, there’s gonna be a lot of chapters. I’m not sure how many yet, but it will be updated every week, so every Saturday (where I live) is when I will upload! There will also be a tag list, so let me know if you would like to be on it. I have a lot of ideas for this, and I hope I’m able to translate them through writing. Anyways, please enjoy!

UA Idol Masterlist

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You anxiously picked at the number stickered onto your thigh. “Mina, I really don’t think I should be here, this is a lot,” you mumble, motioning your head to the camera crew in front of you setting up. “Oh shush, (Y/n/n). The only reason they’re interviewing us is because we’re cute and are friends and they’re hoping one of us will get through while the other doesn’t and there will be drama, and we both know that if that happens there will only be support. Although I think we’ll both get through. You especially.” You snort at her enthusiasm and shake your head. “Definitely not, but okay. Whatever you say.”

“Okay! Give us your name and where you two are from and if you have any specific reason you’re here.”

“Well, I’m Mina and I’m from Tokyo, and this is (Y/n) and she’s from (hometown). We’re actually roommates and best friends, not to brag, but I’m really here to support her! She’s amazing!”

“Literally shut up, Mina you’re better than me,” you mumble, rolling your eyes at your enthusiastic best friend. “I most definitely am not! Besides, this is a great fuck you to your ex. You know the one who told you that you would never be able to become a singer and shit on you every opportunity he got.”

“Yeah. Thank you for bringing him up.”

“Yes! Thank you for bringing him up! Could you talk about him a little more? If that’s okay?”

You stare at the producer and sigh. “Yeah. Sure, whatever. I had a boyfriend a while back who didn’t support me in my artsy ways. Since he was older, he would always make sure I knew that he thought it was a childish hobby, and that I should grow up and do something that I would actually be able to survive on. He kind of ruined my love for music, but after he broke up with me, I got it back since it was how I coped with it.”

“So, you’re here to get back at him? Show him what you’re made of?”

“Well, no... but that would be pretty dope, not gonna lie, he can go fuck himself,” you say, with a small smirk on your face. After a few more questions about your ex-boyfriend and yours and Mina’s crippling student debt, the producers wander off to someone else. “They are totally using your story for television,” Mina says, and you scoff. “They only use stories for people who they want the audience to vote for, I know how these shows work,” you say, glancing around and having your eyes land on the next poor soul the producers trapped. Looked like it was a very sleepy purple haired e-boy. Damn. He’d for sure make it through if this competition was based off of looks alone. How the hell were you supposed to compete with people who looked like that. “I don’t think I should be here, Mina,” you mumble, tearing your eyes away from him. Unbeknownst to you your gaze was replaced by his as his quick little interview ended. “What? (Y/n), stop with that! What were you just looking at that made you even think that?” Mina asks, frantically searching around. “Well the producers were-”

“Oh my god! Denki?! (Y/n), that’s one of the guys I was really good friends with when we were in high school, come on you have to meet him,” Mina cuts you off, literally dragging you over. “Mina?! Why didn’t you tell me you were gonna be here?! We have phones you know,” You watch the blonde with a black streak in his hair tackle your best friend in a hug with an unamused expression. You didn’t want to meet anyone. You were tired. The anxiety of this situation kept you up all night long. Then again, staying up all night was normal for you. At least you looked bomb though. You felt the burning sensation of someone staring at you, so naturally you turn your head in that direction. Your eyes were met with the back of the purple haired boys messy head, but no one was looking though, so you shrug it off. Probably someone just scoping out the competition or something. “Denki, this is-”

“Contestants number 14788 and 14789? Follow me please,” a producer cuts off Mina and you feel a wave of anxiety wash over you. You grip the neck of your guitar tighter than you had been gripping it before. It’s not performing that makes you nervous, it’s performing in front of the panel of world-renowned judges that makes you nervous. And try as you might you can’t hide it. “Oh, shit, sorry Denki, I’ll talk to you after, okay? See ya!”

“Break a leg, Mina,” Denki says as Mina links arms with you and pulls you along with her happy steps. “I’ll introduce him to you after we both make it, I wanna know more about his friend anyways, so he better not leave until I interrogate him,” she starts rambling and you laugh a bit. “Awww, does Mina have a crush on the purple haired boy? Pink and purple go well together, you know.”

“No, she doesn’t. She thinks that you would look great with him though.”

“No. Not happening.”

“Come on, (Y/n), you gotta put yourself out there! It’s been two whole years since he who shall not be named broke up with you, you can-”

“Mina. Drop it. Please.”

“…Okay. So, I’m going first. hopefully I come out with a golden ticket, but if I don’t don’t let that psych you out, okay? You got this you crazy talented bitch,” Mina says, trying to lighten the mood. She knows you don’t want to be in a relationship ever again after what happened with your ex, but she can’t help it. She loves playing matchmaker and she just wants you to be happy. Recently you’ve been a little sadder the usual, so she’s concerned. It was like she turned back time to when you two first moved into your apartment and you were dealing with school and your douche of an ex. She knows you find Denki’s friend attractive, he’s 100% your type and you two would look amazing as a couple. Not to mention that his friend just so happened to be staring at you at any moment you weren’t looking in his general direction. Not able to read her mind going 100 miles a minute, you just nod at her words as you come face to face with the most famous emcee there is. Hizashi Yamada. Better known as his stage name, Present Mic, PM for short. “HELLO!!! You two look amazing! You ready to become the next UA Idol or what?!” he says, way too enthusiastically. You always wondered just how loud he was in real life, and he rivals Mina. That’s saying something. “I’m totally ready!” she responds, and you laugh at PM’s face when he realizes she’s just as loud, if not louder, than him. “So, you’re both auditioning, right? Are you going together? Separate?”

“Separate, we’re just here to wait outside for moral support,” Mina responds, and he nods. “Awesome! Well, tell me your names! If you two get through to Hell Week there’s a good chance you’ll be televised, so I would like to just talk for a minute!” he says, and you both introduce yourselves again. “Amazing! I’m assuming you two are great friends, I mean you must be pretty important to each other to have it just be you two with no partners or family or anything coming. Reminds me of me and Aizawa!”

“Yeah, but we’re just best friends actually! And roommates, we moved here away from our families and we’re both single, so all we have is each other,” Mina says, pulling you into a quick little squeeze. Present Mic screams something about how adorable that was before wishing Mina luck and sending her in. Shockingly, you’re both quiet as you hear her audition begin, and unsurprisingly, she flawlessly hits all the notes in Lady Marmalade. Her voice isn’t only loud when she talks, after all. PM’s eyes go big as he points at the door, looking at you and mouthing “She’s really good!” You just grin and nod. This isn’t news to you. After hearing her blast Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey all the time and belting out their runs and matching their high notes for about three years, it’s not shocking to you how great she can sing this song. Eventually, her singing stops, and PM waits a minute or two before he begins talking again, not necessarily quiet, but quieter than before. “I did not expect that kind of soul to come out of that little body of hers!”

“Yeah, she can be unpredictable like that... now imagine living with her,” you mumble, half kidding and half serious, but he laughs at that. Loudly. Not even a moment later, Mina walks through the doors and violently shakes the ticket in her hand at you. “I DID IT! I DID IT, KICK ASS, TAKE NAMES, AND MAKE SURE YOU COME TO HELL WEEK WITH ME SO YOU’RE NOT ALONE AT THE APARTMENT FOR A WHOLE WEEK!”

“I won’t be alone; Nyx will be there she is great company.”

“(Y/n), she is a black cat.”

“She is our third roommate and you will treat her as such,” you point your finger at her before PM gives you the clear to go in the room. “Make sure to hit your mark! That’s the tape shaped like a T on the floor! Break a leg,” he says, giving you two thumbs up. You nervously make your way through the short hallway, eventually landing right smack in the middle of the room. You make sure to hit the mark, as PM instructed, and you need to tell yourself to calm down as you look at four of the most influential people in music. In front of you sat Shouta Aizawa, Keigo Takami, Nemuri Kayama, and Toshinori Yagi.

Better known as just Aizawa, a well-known singer-songwriter. He stays behind the scenes mostly, and the rumor is he’s written over 20,000 songs for himself as well as other artists. The majority of course go to other artists, as he isn’t a big fan of all the fame and things, but the few albums he’s put out have some of your favorite songs ever written. He’s genuinely someone you’ve been looking up to for years upon years.

Then there’s Keigo Takami, who is known as Hawks. He chose his stage name because he’s always admired the strength and freedom of hawks and he decided that he wanted to be the same way. And he is, he literally can do everything. Every song of his sounds different, varying from rock to country. A lot of people really support his country music considering he calls his fans his chickadees. People just think it fits. The genre he seems to gravitate toward the most is definitely more of a rock vibe, even having his own band. And yes, the band’s emblem is a pair of red wings.

Next to him is Nemuri Kayama, or Midnight. She’s a world-famous popstar, but she makes sure to include some soul sounding belts in every single one of her songs. She’s Mina’s literal idol, and the amount of times you’ve had to listen to Midnight’s songs? So many. So many times. Not that you were complaining, her voice is amazing. You just wished she didn’t sing about love and sex all the fucking time.

And finally, there’s Toshinori Yagi. People tend to shorten his name to Nori, but he’s the most famous judge here. Not only does he own the All Might Record Label, he has won 11 Grammys, his music is played everywhere all the time, and he manages some of the biggest stars today. Unlike his rival record company, Endeavor Records, it’s said that Toshinori is ridiculously nice as well as a little strange, but in comparison to Enji Todoroki? The nicest man to walk the planet. 100%. Not to mention he’s also a singer himself. His songs are instant smashes, and everyone loves his voice. Even if he isn’t mean, he’s so ridiculously powerful in the business.

To say you were intimidated was an understatement.

[stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland]

Stuck, Have you read Ally's new book. Well I didn't, but I was able to get a lot of reviews from just book readers and some OT5s and some CS. I have a feeling that the book is genuine when it talks about Ally and what she's gone through, but when it comes to other 4 girls, I think maybe the management had a hand in it so make it kinda shady subtly ( again I didn't read it myself but I did get some honest reviews) When ally talked about resorting to drinks when supposedly a bandmate made fun of her being virgin (I feel it's like a mild bullying from whoever did that) but I don't exactly trust the bandmate part. The girls have been together for 6 yrs and if it really the way it's said in the book ally couldn't have told them to stop (ik Ally's nice but I do believe she'll stand up to her bandmates if they wronged her like that) the reason why I'm thinking this because ally specifically said bandmate ( D,L,C,N are in questioning) but never said a name for C's replacement (who can be literally anyone) Do you get where I'm going stuck ? I have seen a few well known CS n Ot5 fall into believing that the girls never truly had any sisterhood/Friendship ( even tho the girls where not mentioned at large) Also I kind feel like everyone onto Ally's book to get some kinda intel on the fued , rather than feel empathic to the struggles an ambitious young singer had/is going thru. I'm a true OT5 and I don't want/like to shit on my girls (all 5) but now people are being toxic in sm to take things out of the book to make them look bad. Some saying Ally's a clout chaser 🤦🏻‍♀️ and D,L bullied her🙃 (in general), N made fun of her dancing (😑), C never respected Allycat 🙄😞.

I'm sorry for ranting stuck, I just need to get this out. I'd love to hear what you have to say,once you read the book or what you think of my pov)

Hope everything is well with you. Stay safe 💝

Hey anon! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on Ally's book on my blog. The truth is that I would love to read it but I don't have the means to buy it :( so I could not comment on what Ally says in the book, but, (and I think I already mentioned this in another post). Although Ally tries To be as honest with her book as possible, we all know that Ally's management (Bastards from Maverick) was going to have something to say about it. Ally cannot speak out against them freely because she is under a nondisclosure contract and we all know that The biggest seller in the industry is drama, the fucking drama that these bastards of the supposed feud of the girls against Camila have sold and vice versa. That shit sells, anon. And it was what those idiots wanted, for ot5 and ot4 fans to face off like they always have. I do believe that they bonded and then gave that typical image that they hate being together (In fact Lauren mentioned in her last live about hating her time in the band because of the lack of creativity she had there). And I'm not saying that everything was rosy because we know it was not, it cannot be all happiness and tenderness when you had five teenagers in full development living together, each with their different personalities and differences. That's impossible. Of course they must have had conflicts between them, of course they must have had fights and Camren must have also been a critical point in the girls' relationship. Of course yes. That must have happened. But I don't think they hated each other to death, that they didn't support each other when they needed it. And I know, because as I have said in other posts about Ally, the girls had in common that they seemed to come from the same world. No one taller or shorter than the other. The only difference in that coexistence was Ally and her age compared to the other girls. Ally was already of legal age when she signed her contract with Fifth Harmony and she had to deal with four teenagers with typical teenage problems and where she usually had to chaperone Camren. It is understandable that Ally felt "separate" from the rest because she was practically surrounded by girls. Girls who liked to play, fight, joke and everything you can think of. Besides being like a mother to them because she was the oldest and that responsibility fell to her. Her experience in the band was different from the beginning and I know that even without having read that book I am sure that she has reflected it there. The management achieved its objective. Sell ​​Ally's book through dramas like you always do. It's really not something new, not for me, not for anyone. But thank you anon. Thanks once again for sharing this story on my blog.

Stay safe you too, dear anon.

[jaxl-road]

The League of Extraordinary Rockstars, ch.2

Summary: LA is a hub for music and mutants, making it the perfect place for Motley Crue, Guns N’ Roses, and countless other mutant musicians to call home. But it’s not all easy, especially when it comes to finding a decent place to live. So what better solution than moving in together in the mansion of an immortal? Love, drama, and super powers. If nothing else, it’ll be interesting.

Chapter Warnings: Language, genderswap!Steven

AN: This is a collaboration between myself and @the–blackdahlia​! It combines elements from her fic “It’s So Easy (And Other Lies)” (specifically her genderswapped!Steven) and my super powered GnR series. It is completely AU and ignores timelines like Woah, but hopefully you’ll have as much fun reading it as we’re having writing it! Let us know what you think!

~~~~~

It had been a couple weeks since Duff moved in with Slash and Stevie and in that time, he had sat on Slash probably a dozen times.

Stevie had mentioned before how most of the time Slash would camouflage in his sleep, but it was still hard to get used to. He would come home after a double shift and go to collapse on the couch only to land on a very disgruntled guitar player.

“Goddammit, can’t you fucking check before throwing yourself on the couch?”

“Can’t you go to sleep in your fucking room?!” Duff snapped back.

Slash wanted to rip his hair out. He had to grind his teeth together to keep from screaming about the number of times he’s had to deal with a drunken Stevie stumbling into his room to bawl about how she had too much love and too many crushes and they didn’t like her back and she was going to die alone. And because he was a fucking good friend, he would pet her head and try to soothe her until she finally fell asleep and he was stuck with a snoring glowstick lighting up his room.

So yes, he had been sleeping on the couch. But because, and he could not stress this enough, he was a good fucking friend, he couldn’t explain to Duff exactly why.

Living together was turning out to be a hell or an adjustment for the three rockers. Duff had shaken up their routine, giving them an extra person to get drunk with, which made Stevie’s already frazzled emotions even more haywire, not to mention the household hangovers they were suffering through each morning. It was easy with Tracii. He stayed out all night and slept all day, and honestly, Slash and Stevie had kinda felt sorry for him. But Duff was something different, and after one too many mornings of being awoken by Duff and Slash arguing, Stevie exploded.

“Enough!” She yelled at them. “I am going to stay the night someplace else so I can get some fucking sleep before work!”

That was three days ago, and this was the first night Duff and Slash had seen their roommate since she stormed out. Walking into the apartment, Stevie was pleased to see that the two boys looked properly chastised. Granted, their arguing hadn’t improved much during her three day exile, but Slash and Duff figured she didn’t need to know that.

"Hi boys," she smiled. "It’s a beautiful day. Aside from the freak thunderstorm yesterday," She flopped on the couch.

"Thought you moved out," Slash grumbled.

"Nonsense. I just stayed the night at Kelly's."

“Oh thank GOD,” the guitarist practically threw himself across Stevie’s lap, “I thought you were leaving forever!”

Duff shuffled over sitting next to her and looking very much like a kicked puppy, “You were gone for so long we didn’t think you were coming back and we missed you so much-”

“Holy shit you guys,” Stevie shook her head fondly, patting Slash’s head, “I was gone for three days! I just needed a long weekend away from your bickering-”

“He started it!” Two voices snapped simultaneously.

Eyebrow twitching in thinly veiled annoyance, Stevie grit her teeth and continued, “Whatever, my point is I need your arguments to at least be rescheduled to later in the day, alright?”

There was some minor grumbling.

"If you don't, Kelly's looking for a roommate. Or a fuck buddy that gets a free room." She smirked. She knew that would get them to chill out. "Now, I'm hungry. And I'm going to see a show tonight. You guys gonna join me?"

“Of course, but I gotta go to work,” Duff told her. “I’ll see you guys this evening.” He headed to his room to pull on his uniform, something nagging him in the back of his mind. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he tried to focus on making it through another shift at a job he hated.

The three roommates went to their various shitty jobs, each feeling impatient for the day when their music would finally pay the bills and they would have to deal with huffy customers telling them to cut their hair. Needless to say, by the time they reached the Whiskey for the show they were ready to let loose and have some fun. Tonight Motley Crue had managed to snag a headlining slot, Duff, Slash, and Stevie toasting their friends’ success and lamenting their own band’s slow growth in equal measure.

“We’re gonna make it, guys!” Stevie exclaimed, people around her moving away or shielding their eyes as she glowed with enthusiasm. She waved her empty glass excitedly, slurring slightly, “I mean, I mean the crowds have been getting wild for us! And the stuff we’ve recorded is fucking badass! It’s only a matter of time before we start bringing in the big bucks!”

“God, I hope so,” Slash sighed, “this starving artist shit is getting old.”

"Guess you could catch and eat a snake," someone said. Stevie turned and smiled.

"Kelly!" She gave him a hug.

"Hey glowstick," Kelly laughed. "You look rested."

"I am. Thank you." She kissed his cheek.

Duff smiled tensely as he gave Kelly a high five, “Hey man.”

Slash rolled his eyes as Kelly shot him a knowing look, grinning, “Sup guys. Word on the street is you’re having some domestic troubles,” he elbowed Stevie playfully, “This gal was lighting up the place when she first came over.”

“Yeah,” Duff grimaced as he admitted, “It’s taking some getting used to.”

“I can imagine,” Kelly raised an eyebrow. The first night Stevie had arrived on his doorstep he’d had to wear sunglasses as she ranted and raved and lamented about the whole situation, “I mean, you’ve all got annoying ass powers-” he ignored the three offended outcries, “-and you live in a shoebox. Of course you’re stepping on each others’ toes.”

"At least we don't have axl…" slash pointed out.

"Don't have me for what?" Axl said as he approached the group, Baz's arm around his shoulder.

"In our shoebox home," Stevie told him.

“Excuse you, I am a goddamn delight and any house would be lucky to have me!” the singer huffed.

“You tell ‘em, babe,” Baz grinned.

"When you yell, you'd blow down a wall…" Slash commented.

“Fuck you, my control is impeccable!” Axl growled and Kelly raised his hands before a fight could break out.

"Let's get some drinks," he told them. "I'm buying."

"My hero," Stevie laughed. Kelly had an arm around her waist. Izzy was sitting at a booth, which Kelly spotted and brought everyone over to him.

Raising his head, Izzy nodded in greeting, “Hey guys, here to see the Crue?” he gestured at the stage where Nikki was, as usual, on fire.

Laughing, Stevie slid into the booth next to him, “Yup! What are you doing over here all by your lonesome?”

“Brooding,” Axl, Baz, and Slash all answered simultaneously.

Glaring, Izzy huffed, “I was enjoying some peace for once in my life, fuck you very much.”

"Maybe later," Stevie giggles, making Izzy's cheeks burn bright red.

"Their act is lame," Axl rolled his eyes. "Fire again? Really?"

“I mean, you gotta respect their commitment to the brand,” Slash shrugged.

The group downed their drinks, bickering and joking and occasionally remembering to cheer for the Crue. Before they knew it, the set was finishing up, Stevie shining extra bright as they applauded the band as they left the stage.

Izzy glanced between Stevie and Duff with forced nonchalance, “So, how’s the living situation going?”

Shrugging, Stevie answered, “Getting better I guess. Duff’s still not used to Slash camouflaging with the couch,” she snickered.

Duff threw his arms in the air in exasperation, “Gee, I’m sorry I’m used to living in places where you don’t have to pat down every surface in case there’s a hidden guitarist there!”

“Apology accepted,” Slash grinned, the bassist shoving him as he laughed.

“Ugh, I just can’t wait until we can have some more space,” Stevie groaned, “I love you guys, but fuck man, some elbow room would be nice.”

Izzy, Axl, and Baz, nodded their heads sympathetically, their own living situations only marginally better than the trio’s. Meanwhile, Kelly hummed in consideration.

“You could always stay at my place for awhile if you want,” he shrugged.

Stevie giggled, slapping a hand over her mouth when she saw the group squint from her light, “Kelly,” she patted his shoulder, “that’s sweet of you dude, but you live in a shitty studio apartment in the slums. Just having me over was a stretch.”

“No, no,” Kelly shook his head, “I meant my other place.”

Silence stretched as six pairs of eyes stared at Kelly in confusion.

“....What?” Slash finally broke the silence.

“You know, my other place,” Kelly said casually, “the one on Mulholland?” When the stares continued, he furrowed his brows, “Have I never mentioned it before?”

“No,” Duff answered emphatically, “No you have not. What the Fuck?”

“Huh.” It was maybe a little annoying sometimes, but it wasn’t Kelly’s fault he couldn’t remember who he’d told what to. After all, the bassist was more or less immortal, his mutant healing factor fucking with his aging until he found himself stuck as a twenty-something for God only knew how long. So if his memory was a little sketchy, well, who could blame him?

The drugs and alcohol probably didn’t help either. But that was besides the point.

“Well, yeah. I have another place. It’s a house, got like, eleven bedrooms if I’m remembering correctly? It’s also got-”

“Woah, woah, woah, dude,” Baz waved his hands, “Hold up. Did you just say eleven bedrooms?”

“Give or take,” he shrugged.

“So…. it’s a mansion,” Axl stated, voice unnervingly blank, “You have a mansion.”

“I guess, yeah…”

As Axl sucked in a long, deep breath, Kelly realized that he had made a huge mistake.

“WHAT?!” It was honestly impressive how Axl managed to shriek at ear splitting levels without any of his mutant ability coming through. Still, even his human-level screeching had the group flinching.

The singer slammed his hands on the table, glasses shaking as he glared at Kelly in shock and fury, “You’re telling me that we’ve all be living on top of each other in fucking sqalor and this whole time you’ve had a goddamn mansion?”

“Who has a mansion?”

Kelly would give anything for Sebastian’s ability to teleport right now. Because when he turned around, he found the members of Motley Crue staring at him hungrily, and he suddenly felt like he was surrounded by hyenas.

He probably should have waited until it was just him and Stevie before mentioning the house.

"Uh, hi guys," Kelly laughed. "What brings you here?"

"You have a mansion and didn't tell us?" Tommy pouted. "I thought you loved us."

"Dude the 60s fucked my brain. I can't remember shit," Kelly laughed.

"Which 60s?" Vince smirked.

"Yes." Kelly nodded, dodging the question. "So, I'm just gonna go…"

He was half standing when Duff’s unfairly long arm shot out from across the table, palm landing solidly against the back of the booth to box Kelly in.

“Oh I think the fuck not,” he stated firmly, a quick rumble of thunder sounding through the dirty window behind him. The dramatic motherfucker.

“Yeah, you’re not getting away that easily,” Tommy laughed as he and his bandmates dragged some chairs over to sit around the booth, adding another layer of defense to keep Kelly trapped, “Come on man, I wanna know more! Like, dude, if you’ve got a legit place, why aren’t you living there?”

Sighing in resignation, Kelly settled back in his seat and shrugged, “I dunno, I just like being closer to the action I guess,” he smirked, “It gets annoying having to drive twenty minutes just to get some pussy.”

“What, none of your fancy ass neighbors cut it?” Vince teased.

“I mean, there was one dude I used to hook up with, but that was in the… 30s I think? I dunno, all I know is he, like most of my neighbors, aren’t exactly at an age that can… keep up with me,” he winked mischievously as the group snickered.

Slash shook his head, “Dude, I get that, but personally I give fuck all about the age demographic, you’ve actually got a decent fucking roof, man!”

“I mean there’s the commute into the Strip, too, y’know?” Kelly argued.

“Oh no, how will I survive the commute?” Baz whined sarcastically, sticking his tongue out when Kelly flipped the teleporter off.

"It needs a lot of work," Kelly added. "Like weeds and shit and…"

"Dude, we have a gardener," Nikki motioned to Vince.

"And spiders?" Kelly pointed out.

"I'll feed them to my snake...that I most definitely do not have…" Slash's eyes darted to Stevie quickly before glancing away again.

"Can we at least see it?" Stevie asked. "You know how much I love decorating."

"Please no kiss posters in the living room," Mick groaned.

“Why do you hate art?” Stevie pouted jokingly.

Meanwhile, Kelly sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I’m not getting out of this one am I?”

A chorus of “no”s answered him.

Rolling his eyes, Kelly threw his hands up in defeat, “Fine, I guess I can show you around sometime this week. What’s the worst that could happen?”

At that moment, loud, ominous cracks of thunder and lightning rattled the windows behind them. The group snapped to look at Duff in exasperation. The blonde bassist merely shrugged.

“What? Am I wrong?”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #362

(this is actually from yesterday but i never posted it and now i don’t feel like updating the answers, so yeah)

Have you ever been cheated on? No. Who’s car were you last in? My mom's. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? It's been pierced multiple times, but each time the hole closed after my piercings had to be taken out at the psych hospital. The final time though, it closed because the damn stud fell out in my sleep for the billionth time, I couldn't find it, and I let it close out of annoyance. Have your parents ever smoked pot? My dad has. Do you tend to make relationships complicated? I mean, I don't think so. I hope not. Are you good at giving directions? NO. Like, I can't. I would accidentally lead you to the middle of the ocean. Would your mom care if she found condoms in your room? She'd be confused as fuck because I live with her so she knows for sure I'm not seeing anyone. Did you speak to your father today? No. Did you kiss someone before you were sixteen? No, it was actually a month after turning 16. Could you go a day without eating? Nooo. I've said before and I'll say it again, I don't deal with abdominal pain well, so yeah. Are your nails always painted? They never are. Have you ever met any bands/band members before? No. What color is your hair? Boring 'ole brown. .-. Your best friend needed somewhere to stay, could they live with you? She absolutely could. I know Mom would welcome her without hesitation. Have you danced in the rain? No. When you said something naughty when you were little, did your parents wash out your tongue with soap? No, but it was threatened. What do you think of spanking little children when they do something wrong? Okay or not? No, it is absolutely not okay. You do not teach children through fear, ever, nor do you show children that it is ever okay to hit people when you're upset. Who was the last male you hung out with? Uhhh, I think Girt? I haven't truly hung out with a guy in a long time. Who is your favorite person to text? Sara. Who did you last take a picture with? My sister. What’s your favorite brand of jeans? I don't have one. Which show is better: Spongebob or The Fairly Odd Parents? The latter. Both can be funny, but Cosmo cracks me up. Has anyone ever told you that you looked like someone else? I actually think the only time I was ever compared to someone else (make-believe, at that) was when I dressed up for Halloween one year and a friend told me I looked like Eileen Galvin from Silent Hill 4: The Room. Do you enjoy the sound of crickets at night and birds in the morning? Yesssss. Who is the most overrated singer? Idk, I don't even know who's "in" right now. What is your favourite planet? Saturn. Do you have any pets that you had since you were born? No. Do you own anything that you had when you were a baby? Yes, stored away. Do you enjoy Mario games? Mario Kart is fun, but otherwise I'm not a massive fan. What’s your favorite online game? World of Warcraft. Have you ever been hit with a ball in gym class? I think so. I was always terrified of the days we got to play dodgeball or whatever, like that shit hurts. Do you ever turn your cell phone off? No. Who was last to cook for you? My ma. Do you check your texts right away when you receive them? Usually. Who is your most trusted person? My mom, probably. How late did you stay up last night? God, I don't even know. Last night was my sleep study, and I was so uncomfortable in that bed that I slept maybe only an hour or two. Hell, or less. I also couldn't sleep on my stomach, which really didn't help because that's always how I sleep. I'm exhausted now and have such a headache. When/where are you most likely to sing? In the car, I guess. I very rarely sing anywhere. Would you ever wish to explore a cave? FUCK YES. You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? Panic like a motherfucker internally, avoid eye contact, and try to evade him (not like he'd actually pursue me) without being too obvious. Have you been/are you depressed? Both. Are your pop-ups blocked on your computer? Yes. Have you ever ridden in a car with someone who was high? Yes, because I was afraid to tell her I didn't want. Thank fuck we got home safe. I was absolutely, positively terrified we'd be pulled over. Who is the best hugger you know? Ha, actually the person I just mentioned. Have you ever had to be put to sleep for an operation? Yes. Does anybody have any proof of stupid things you have done? Oh, Facebook comments... Why did you text the last person in your inbox? I was replying to my mom. Have you ever been able to do a split? No. Did you ever date the last person you kissed? Yes. Are you intimidated by the last person you know talked badly about you? She doesn't "intimidate" me, no. She just gets on my last goddamn nerve every time she opens her mouth. Have you ever cried in school? Yes. Last person of the opposite sex you screamed at? I've never screamed at a guy because I'm afraid of them. I've sobbed at Jason, so like my voice was raised, but it definitely wasn't screaming. Do you have any weird sleep habits? Well, speaking of screaming, my nightmares have me shrieking in the middle of most nights. I also talk in my sleep like, a lot. Do you consider yourself an emotional person? Very. When was the last time you had a headache? This morning, I'm sure because of how shitty I slept. When was the last time you encountered a puppy? Prepare for a rant... We have one right now, even though our landlord told us specifically no puppies because of all the housetraining they require. My mom has been wanting a dog, and Tobey finally agreed to it, and she's been looking for a while. So my sister Ashley randomly shows up with a stray puppy a friend was keeping, terrified and LOADED with ticks, and she's reminding Mom and I why we DON'T WANT A PUPPY. She's peeing everywhere BUT outside (specifically on a stupid fucking expensive carpet that Tobey will have a cow over just ONE stain), is terrorizing my cat, and has an overwhelming amount of energy. Ashley specifically told me that if Mom doesn't let Ash know, I needed to tell her if the puppy was stressing Mom out, "because this isn't supposed to be a stressful experience for her." Well, she's been sobbing again and again and I literally just came back mid-question from comforting her because she broke down so hard she could barely breathe because now she had diarrhea on the fucking carpet. Ashley's all bitchy now about it for no apparent or even remotely valid reason, and by God do I want to cuss her the fuck out over this bull she brought on. Safe to say we're not keeping the dog, but not quickly enough. When Mom hurts, I hurt, and I am so goddamn furious. Is there anything that happened a long time ago that you still laugh about? Yeah, a number of things. Do you ever try to interpret your dreams? No, given I don't believe most have any meaning. It's brain word vomit, lol. What was the last thing you bought impulsively? I don't have the income for impulse purchases. When I get money, what I'm after is well-planned. How do you feel about singing songs out loud in front of other people? I don't, usually. I'm very self-conscious about it. When was the last time you were feeling really, really nervous? That nervous, I'm unsure. I've been nervous, sure, but I haven't had a massive anxiety episode in a while. If you’re no longer in school, what is something you miss about it? If you’re still in school, what’s something you think you’re going to miss about it? I miss feeling productive and like I was going at least somewhere. Do you use your turn signals when you’re driving? Yes; I hate when people don't. How exactly are you feeling right now? Mad at my sister. Have you ever had to board up your windows because of a hurricane? No. Do you tell anyone to chew with their mouths closed? No, to avoid "confrontation" that is too negligible to even quality as conflict. I'm just a lil bitch when it comes to stuff like this. Have you ever ordered pizza and sent it to someone else’s house? No. What was the first thing you drank when you woke up this morning? My nurse or whatever her position is (I don't mean that dismissively, I genuinely don't know her title) brought me some orange juice. Do you think stretch marks from having a baby are ugly or badges of honor? Oh my god, fuck off. Anyone who can carry a child for nine months and then endure what I assume is the worst pain (usually) survivable has every ounce of my goddamn respect. The natural result of making room for a like 6+ lb. human being is not "ugly." It's a part of life and to me shows an incredible amount of bravery and love to be willing to go through something I could absolutely never. Ever done a keg stand? Haha, no. My dizzy ass will pass. Who is the last person you lent money to? My mom. Do you share clothing with anyone? Mom and I will share bras or pants sometimes. Have you ever visited anyone in a rehab? No. Was the last thing you drank a Coke or Pepsi product? No, I have lemonade right now. Honestly, do you think that you’re going to be an overprotective parent? IF I wanted to be a parent, I feel like I definitely would be. Not like... overbearing, but still extremely protective in cases I think it's called for. What was the last kind of chips you ate? Veggie chips yesterday, actually. They're honestly not that good, but it's a doable snack with salsa. What is one thing that you really wish you could understand, but don’t? Economics. I dread taking care of my own money because idk what the fuck to do with taxes and such. What is the last thing you charged? My phone. Have you ever held a snake? I've held plenty of snakes, I love them.

[invisibletinkerer]

Fic: The Secret Journal of 'Stanford' Pines

Size: ~3000 words AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20864183

Stan Pines keeps a journal of brief daily notes during the summer of 2012.

Note: We all know that the Gravity Falls timeline makes no sense whatsoever. Therefore this is based on a headcanon timeline I made a year or so ago, trying to incorporate as many of the canon dates (in show and published J3) as possible, but ignoring the ones that were contradictory or made no sense. This still means some episodes did not happen in a strictly chronological order.

June 1

Kids are here. I have no idea what to do. Why did I agree to this.

Boy is a grump and girl made macaroni art in the kitchen. Did I even have macaroni?

 June 2 Sunday

I think boy got spooked in the forest. He seems fine, though. Good taste in gold chains.

Girl is now dating some punk kid.

 June 3

Kids looked like they’d been run over by the golf cart when they got back tonight. Not good.

Gave them some free gifts from the shop to cheer em up. Yes I know

Boy got a new hat. Should get him to wear a Mystery Shack shirt next. Girl found a grappling hook that was not in my inventory. Bold choice.

What would they say if they knew about me?

June 4

Fishing Season Opening Day – took the kids fishing.

Of course, they got excited about monster hunting instead. They’re listening to reason about as well as I and Fo did as a kid.

But. They came back to me in the end. We had fun.

I love those kids.

 June 5

Soos found those cursed old wax statues I sealed up some ten years ago. Don’t seem all that cursed now. One had melted.

Mabel’s gonna make a new one for the wax museum. Meaning I’ll have to figure out how to make suckers pay to look at wax statues again.

 June 6

Mabel’s wax creation nearly gave me a heart attack. It looks just like my twin me.

She’s crazy talented.

 June 7

I’d say the wax museum reopening went well. Assuming “well” means “profit”.

Did anyone actually think I’d hand out free pizza?

 June 8

Hanging out with my wax twin Stan, and the moment I turned my back he was murdered.

 June 9 Sunday

Tried to hold a funeral for Wax Stan. Failed to keep it tounge-in-cheek.

Face it, Ford is long gone

 June 10

Guess the wax people were still as cursed as I remembered. Kids killed them with fire – I should have done that long ago.

Dipper crawled in the vents all day looking for a wax head that got away.

If I keep telling him he’s delusional, he’s got to stop looking for trouble eventually, right?

 June 11

Mabel decided I should date Lazy Susan. Couldn’t stop her. Now Susan and her cats keep calling me.

This was a bad idea. (I will never tell Mabel that.)

 June 12

Went on a date with Lazy Susan to shut her up. That ended just as well as expected.

Need to figure out some more specific excuses.

 June 13

The worst thing is, the Portal should work now. It’s functional. I just can’t get it to start.

Maybe I’ve been doing it wrong all along

I did fix that old copier. Don’t know if it still makes copies of people, but at least it makes copies of paper again.

Caught Dipper making oogly eyes at Wendy. I smell drama.

 June 14

Did not expect “The Duchess Approves” to be that good.

 June 15

The traditional Mystery Shack party that has nothing to do with any birthdays.

Mabel is a great singer, and that Northwest brat cheated.

Happy birthday, Sixer.

 June 16 Sunday

Gideon Gleeful’s running TV ads again.

Of course my family goes to his show just to spite me.

 June 17

Mabel played with Gideon today. Did not see that one coming.

As long as she’s happy, I guess.

 June 18

I hate Pioneer Day.

Stupid people acting even stupider than normal, nothing works, then someone (me) ends up in the stocks.

 June 19

Gideon and Mabel are dating!?

Seemed like a horrible idea, but Bud Gleeful has a point on the moneymaking opportunities if we play it right.

 June 20

So if Mabel marries Gideon, his business will be incorporated into mine. I sure like the sound of that.

Bud is already making t-shirts.

 June 21

 June 22

OK, no. No deals with the Gleefuls. Not now or ever.

Mabel broke up with the little pest. Good riddance.

Got me a nice painting from Bud’s house, though.

 June 23 Sunday

The Mystery Fair! It may look cheap, but it brings in the money.

Though someone broke all safety protocols and brought a futuristic laser gun to Dunkle the Grunkle. That’s unfair.

Mabel has a pig now.

 June 24

Got roped into the gaming arcade with the kids.

Maybe get one of those games for the Shack?

 June 25

Mabel decided to fix my fear of heights.

I can say this – being on top of a water tower about to fall over was unpleasant. Compared to that, a high but stable ground isn’t so bad.

Dipper got into a fistfight with Wendy’s boyfriend over teenage drama, but good on him for standing up for himself.

 June 26

For some reason Gideon has gotten it into himself that he wants the Mystery Shack now.

Good luck, kid. I’m a better conman than you’ll ever be.

 June 27

Mabel is slightly taller than Dipper. This is funny.

Gideon Gleeful trying to be threatening while throwing a hysterical fit after breaking my new mirror maze – mostly confusing. Wish I knew what went on in that kid’s head.

 June 28

Kids made me wear the golden teeth. Guess they think I’m a dishonest man.

Fortunately, I’m good at bullshitting even when telling the truth. Think I scandalized the poor things. Hilarious.

Could have been disaster, though. Could have easily made them hate me.

 June 29

Spent half the day falling down the Bottomless Pit.

 June 30 Sunday

Summerween, now that’s a respectable local holiday.

Scaring children for fun and profit. Celebrating true evil together with family.

 July 1

Hottest day of the year. Wax Stan was permanently murdered by the weather.

Closed the Shack and went to the municipal pool with the kids.

Gideon stole my perfect pool chair. It’s on.

 July 2

Broke into the pool area at night to get the chair to myself. Which was a good plan, until I wanted to get up later in the day. The pest had coated it with glue.

The kids broke into the pool at night, too. Didn’t ask.

 July 3

Opened the Shack again.

Can’t be too lazy. Tourists to fleece and all that.

 July 4

 July 5

Mabel bet she could run the Shack better than I can. Well. I’m nothing if not a gambler.

So, three days of vacation, in which I will make more money than she will make running the Shack. Winner takes the Shack, loser sings a silly song.

Best case scenario, she learns something about business and stops complaining. Worst case, she actually makes money and then runs the Shack for me the rest of the summer. Not bad.

 July 6

Made it past the line to be a contestant on Cash Wheel, using my Old Man powers and lack of common decency.

Why is it so hard to sleep

 July 7 Sunday

Well. I lost at Cash Wheel.

Guess that means I lost the bet with Mabel, too. Unless I go rob a bank or something in the time I have left. Hm.

 July 8

Turns out Mabel barely broke even when running the Shack. She did win the bet, but she didn’t want my job, no surprise there.

I’m proud of her for learning something.

She still made me sing that song. On video tape. It’s kinda catchy.

 July 9

Mabel’s friends came for a sleepover. They make a lot of noice.

 July 10

Soos managed to uncover the door to Ford’s that old study I sealed thirty years ago the very moment the kids demanded separate bedrooms.

I never wanted to see that room again. His glasses were still there

Guess they didn’t want the room in the end, but now it’s open. Can’t re-seal it.

I think they messed around with the freaky carpet. Took it away at the end of the day just in case.

 July 11

I fucked up, but I fixed it.

I got Mabel’s pig back, even when I had to punch a pterodactyl in the face for it.

She doesn’t hate me.

I love that kid so much.

 July 12

That weird egg I pocketed from the dino-cave hatched. Dipper says it’s a compo-whatnot.

I call him Compy. He’s now my Mystery Pet.

 July 13

Soos’ birthday. The kids tried to throw a party, which is. Bad idea.

Think he appreciated laser tag, though. And the magic pizza they got him. Never seen him so happy on a birthday.

 July 14 Sunday

Turns out Compy is a very tiny dragon. Hoards stuff, mostly cash. In places I can’t reach.

It’s no good. Gonna hand the chicken-lizard over to farmer Sprott first thing in the morning before he bankrupts me.

 July 15

Mabel and her friends went to some boy band concert. Got back late with a large pack of spoils. Probably robbed someone.

Wendy’s boyfriend is charming her with homemade music. Dipper suspects magic. Can’t rule that out.

 July 16

There was a hypnotic message in the music, but telling Wendy about it only made the teenage drama worse.

Went bowling with Dipper afterwards to cheer him up. Should have a chat with Wendy, too.

 July 17

Gideon   I’m   How could

Didn’t know Gideon was that serious.

As if half-lucid dreams about that yellow triangle wasn’t bad enough. (The kids know something. Not asking. I want them to stay away from that stuff.)

We’re staying with Soos as I panic figure out how to fix this.

 July 18

I can’t fix this.

Gideon’s got the whole town eating out of his hand and I’m just a grouchy old man.

Doing the responsible thing. Got bus tickets to send the kids home tomorrow.

Whatever I do next, don’t want them to watch.

 July 19

GIDEON IS A LITTLE SHIT AND I AM AWESOME.

Figured out his trick, proved it in public and now he’s in jail.

Got the Shack back. Got the kids back.

And. Get this. Gideon had one of Ford’s missing journals. I have it now.

 July 20

I can’t believe it. Dipper. Had the third journal all summer.

All three of the dumb books are right here in front of me.

I activated the Portal. Simple as anything.

It’s scanning for Ford right now.

I’m actually bringing him back.

 July 21 Sunday

Grand reopening of the Mystery Shack turned into a zombie-fest.

Kids could’ve died because I was too busy with the Portal to pay attention. That won’t happen again.

Should have talked to them about weirdness sooner. Hope they believed me when I said I have no more secrets.

A little worried that government might have picked up signals from the Portal.

 July 22

Repairing the Shack. Too much undead slime to attract tourists like this.

 July 23

Re-reopened the Shack.

Dipper got himself an old laptop computer from somewhere. Probably stolen. He tried to hide it.

 July 24

Went minigolfing with the kids.

Mabel challenged Pacifica Northwest to a duel at midnight. I’m so proud of her.

Letting kids into minigolf courts at night to take a rich snob down a few pegs – finally putting my skills to good use.

 July 25

I still can’t believe the Portal works.

It keeps scanning.

 July 26

Tried to bring old Goldie back to the gift shop but apparently he’s unhip and scary. Had to throw him away before the parents sued me.

What I do need is a singing animatronic robot badger. That’s what kids like these days.

 July 27

Soos missed work for the first time ever. Seems to be girl trouble, but the kids are handling it.

Would’ve stolen myself a robot badger if it hadn’t tried to kill me. Saved by old Goldie. No way I’m not keeping him now.

 July 28 Sunday

Went for a Vegas vacation because I deserve it.

Not because I’m nervous.

Brought Goldie, might have gotten slightly drunk. And slightly married.

 July 29

Mabel found herself a new obsession with hand puppets.

She’ll throw a big show on Friday. Made me rent Gravity Falls theatre for her. (Can’t believe I did that.)

 July 30

The Shack is full of sock puppets and kids and Mabel keeps singing.

Guess this is my life now.

 July 31

 August 1

Soos went to his cousin’s wedding with his new girlfriend. Good on him.

Mabel’s still obsessing about puppets.

Dipper looks like he hasn’t slept in days. Can’t blame him with all this ruckus.

 August 2

Play was good! Think it paid for the costs, too. Mabel’s got showmanship.

Don’t get the ending, though.

I mean. Children fighting always makes for good footage, but was it necessary to beat Dipper up that bad? I swear Mabel don’t know how strong she is.

A little worried about Dipper. He seemed high as a kite all day. Probably sleep deprivation. At least he’s sleeping now.

 August 3

 August 4 Sunday

Gravity’s going more crazy around the Portal the longer it’s on, but I don’t care.

It hasn’t found Ford yet.

It won’t find him if he’s dead

 August 5

The Portal ate my notebook.

Got a nasty cut on the back of my hand from some debris, too. Could have been worse.

 August 6

Tried to advertise the Mystery Shack for the kids at the Woodstick Festival. Hilarious disaster.

Being feared is worth more than being loved anyway.

 August 7

 August 8

IT FOUND HIM.

He’s alive. There’s a lock on his position.

Fuck I don’t  I have to

I know how it works. It needs to calibrate for a while. It needs to be fueled for the big moment.

I’ll go rob a government facility right now.

(So glad the kids are off at the Northwest party tonight.)

27 hours and then I’ll see him again.

 August 9

Ford is back.

I had to run from the feds and the kids found out everything the wrong way but it worked and he’s back.

But he doesn’t  He still hates me.  

Why would I expect anything else.

Don’t know what I’d do with myself if the kids weren’t here.

It’s fine. I fucked up everything, but. Mabel trusts me. Dipper forgives me. I’m fine.

not crying

 August 10 Sunday

The Shack needs repairs again.

Spent most of the day making Duck-tective finale preparations with Mabel. We had fun.

Told the kids to stay away from Ford.

 August 11

Dipper has predictably decided to be nerd friends with my brother.

Can’t stop him. He looks happy. Both of them do.

Still can’t figure out why Ford would have reality altering dice lying around in his sci-fi pouch.

Anyway. I knew Duck-tective had an evil twin.

 August 12

I hate everything.

Ford will take my his place here soon enough, does he have to undercut me while I’m still here?

I’m running for mayor now.

 August 13

Kids are helping me with a political campaign. Apparently I know nothing about politics and have unpalatable opinions. Bah.

 August 14

The Stump Speech went great! I relax, words happen, people cheer.

Dipper got a lucky tie for me. Think it really works.

 August 15

Should’ve tried being a politician before. Almost feels like people like me.

 August 16

Nope. Politics is not for me. Too much mind control.

Should’ve known it wasn’t me making those speeches.

(The kids shouldn’t get into politics either. Can’t always be there to save them from murder.)

Turns out I’m not mayor material, but I’m a HERO.

Take that, Ford.

 August 17

Rented an RV and took Soos and the kids and Mabel’s friends on a road trip.

Pranking the tourist traps. Good old Mystery Shack tradition for the last time.

Dipper’s practising flirting like a pro.

 August 18 Sunday

Almost got eaten by a spider-woman. That could have gone better.

Have to admit, the kids are heroes too.

Don’t think Ford noticed we were gone.

 August 19

Opened the Mystery Shack for the final stretch.

Two more weeks, then I’m gone for good.

 August 20

Made a good deal on illegal pugs. Still got it.

Ford and Dipper put some magic mojo on the Shack. Not gonna ask.

Might have something to do with how badly Ford is sleeping.

 August 21

Ten days left until the kids’s birthday and the end of summer.

Guess I’m doing a countdown now.

 August 22

Nine days left.

 August 23

Eight days left.

I’m gonna order a ponytail kit.

 August 24

HELL NO I DON’T NEED THIS.

It’s the literal end of the world and the kids are missing.

Suddenly orange skies, goats turning into monsters, the whole shebang. I thought I had enough troubles.

That magic on the Shack seems to be protecting it, but. THE KIDS ARE MISSING. So is Ford.

 ??? 1

Day and night are replaced by eternal glowing orange and every single clock is busted, so no more dates.

Went out looking for the kids, but all I find is other people. Also demons. No sign of Soos or Wendy, either.

Been taking people to the Shack. Safest place on Earth for all I know. I have enough brown meat and elected myself Chief.

The kids are fine. Probably with Ford. That’s the ticket.

 ??? 2

Went out looking again. Found the Northwest girl dressed in nothing but a potato sack. She was crying and I don’t want to know, but she didn’t deserve it.

Been told the head honcho is the yellow triangle. He calls this Weirdmageddon.

Old McGucket showed up more coherent than usual, herding a whole flock of forest creatures into the Shack. Starting to get crowded here.

The kids are fine. Of course they are.

 ??? 3

There’s still people alive out there. I heard cars over at Gleeful’s place.

Didn’t see anyone else.

I’ve lost  I couldn’t even

Mabel and Dipper are definitely still alive. So is Soos and Wendy. And Ford better be.

 ??? 4

They’re alive!

All four of my kids, bursting through the door like cops doing a raid but they’re alive!

Now all I want is for them to stay here and be safe. Why can’t they see that?

I’m done saving my brother’s skin and getting nothing but scorn for it.

Ford made his own bed with that demon. Forget it.

 ??? 5

Did I mention, the plan concocted by five kids, Soos, and a known madman is utterly insane?

They’re rebuilding the Shack. I just had it repaired, too.

It’s my house, but no one’s listening to me.

 ??? 6

I keep having this bad feeling about Ford.

It’s dumb. My brother has made it perfectly clear how he feels about being saved.

 ??? 7

Well then.

Not letting the kids lead an apocalypse rebellion against a demonic triangle without me.

 August 25 Sunday

 August 26

 August 27

 August 28

Huh. I can’t remember writing this, but it does ring a few bells.

It’s like I

I need to talk to Ford.

 August 29

So. The apocalypse is over, and we’re all fine.

We killed the demon by burning my mind out when he was inside, pretty much.

My mind’s still there, but it’s kinda. Well. In need of repair.

Spent a few days reliving good memories.

Turns out there’s more than a few bad ones, too. But.

Everyone is so good to me

I don’t deserve this

 August 30

I remember how Ford looked at me after I brought him back.

Now he acts like  he likes to   he thinks I’m

Now it’s like he’s my brother again.

He said. “Thank you.”

 August 31

The kids have left. I’ll miss them, but I’ll see them again.

Until then, my brother and I are going sailing.

[tisthenightofthewitch]

AN INTERVIEW WITH TOBIAS FORGE.

The Swedish rock band Ghost will be performing at the TaxSlayer Center on October 8. Coming off a European stadium tour with Metallica, the group has headlined summer festivals and has embarked on a massive North America tour that includes New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Toronto, Boston … and Moline.

Tobias Forge is Ghost's creative force, front man, singer, songwriter, musician, and architect of the storylines woven through the band's albums, videos, webisodes, and live shows. Although Ghost has been awarded a Grammy and had three consecutive number-one songs on the Billboard mainstream charts, it is the musicians' tongue-in-cheek anti-pope appearance that truly defines them. In a July 30 interview, Tobias spoke about developing the band's visual identity and his aspirations as a filmmaker.

Visuals define Ghost’s image. Are they as important as the music?

Oh, absolutely. Even though I don’t sit down and specifically draw and paint our album covers, I’ve always been very specific in what I wanted. And how I wanted the record sleeve to embody the record I made.

As a record collector, I am more than often compelled by the artwork of a record. I’m a firm believer in a really nice-looking record sleeve. And that makes me want to like the record more. Today, even though people might not consume a recording in the physical way we used to, it’s definitely a case of your visual presentation that accompanies whatever file they are going to listen to. If the graphic content is aesthetically pleasing to the eye, it opens up an avenue into people’s souls. I know this because I’m so easily charmed by record sleeves.

Are the album titles also important?

Absolutely. There needs to be a sort of a narrative between the artwork and the title of the record. And, of course, its content. In some way or form, it helps if the title summarizes a little what the record is about. Usually, most good records have some sort of theme – even though the songs might be about different things.

A lot of singer/songwriters go through phases: it’s the “divorce” album, it’s the “I’ve just gotten married” record. “I’ve just became a father or mother” record. And “now I’m older” record. And “the midnight crisis” record. And “the beard” record. In some way or form, it’s good to communication a little of what kind of state of mind you were in while making it or which state of mind you want the listener to think you were in. As opposed to just leaving it blank.

There’s a fascinating word play in your titles. Do you enjoy playing with words? Creating a sense of mystery through words?

Very much so. I’m also very much influenced by cinema. Even though I know there’s no film called Infestissuman (the title of Ghost’s second album), I also try to come up with a title for a record that could be a film as well. Like a big epic, three-hour mastodon matinée film. (Laughs). I’d like to make a film called Meliora (the title of Ghost's third album).

I understand that you have aspirations to be a filmmaker. That you’re working on a film. Could you speak about the film?

About a future Ghost film?

Yes.

I cannot speak about it in detail. But, yes, I’ve always been very fascinated with the art of filmmaking.

I definitely am in the process of exploring the possibilities of combining my musician career with a film project. Let’s put it that way. And as with anything cinematic, it takes a lot of time – and way more politics – than making a record.

In the process of this, I’m trying to vet my brain and my ideas into being super-sober about making a film that is actually needed and called for and will turn out really great – so that it doesn’t just became a really confusing project.

Over the course of rock history, there are a few films that have been made that are really cool. Even though many of them end up in more of a cult section because they are … weird. I don’t mind weird at all. I grew up watching a lot of films like that.

I would love to make a film. I would love to make it good-weird, but it needs to be good as well. It needs to be something that people can watch. I’m currently in the process of learning if I can.

The humor in your webisodes complements your albums, which sound epic. That’s a fascinating combination.

Yes. Just to give you a hint of what I spoke of in my previous answer about a possible film: a full-length film would be in that vein. Based on that sort of mythology. I believe that there is something more to tell within the storyline – within the concept of what we’ve outlined briefly – in those episodes.

Most of my favorite films have some sort of absurd humor in them.

I think it’s important for films, too. Just as with any dish at any restaurant, there are certain ingredients that you need to have. Even if its just a pinch of salt. Usually you need that. There are certain aspects in there that make it a consumable plate.

Even if you’re making a horror film or drama or thriller, there needs to be some sort of comic relief at some point. I guess what would change in a long format, is that it wouldn’t be as comedic every minute as it is in the short form.

As there is comedy in a horror film, your music has a unique dichotomy. You have metal riffs and an understated singing style. That’s very appealing to me. Was this natural to you? Is it something you developed?

Everything develops on the basis that it is being received. So I believe that to a certain degree if you’re an artist – be it a musical artist or a filmmaker or a writer or a painter – you need to be somewhat auditive when it comes to the needs and the wishes of your receiving part. As much as any aficionado of subculture, I like a lot of artists that just go against everything and make whatever that comes into his or her head regardless of what a public thinks. But most successful artists have in some way or form nurtured the relationship they have between themselves and their audience. The way that you would nurture any relationship with another part – be it a partner in life or a partner in work. There’s some sort of collaboration.

If you look at big bands that went from debutantes playing clubs to big arena acts, their first records are usually slightly more raunchy and maybe faster in tempo and might include a little bit more complicated arrangements. What you usually find over the course of time and further into their careers, they start making records that are more moderately paced. Or they are paced in a different way. Certain songs don’t really translate very well in a very, very big room in front of thousands and thousands of people. Common lingo among rock fans is that, “Oh, they sold out. They just want to sell records.”

No, they write music that will feel comfortable in the setting – in the forum in which they are performing these songs.

You do what you feel is good for both parties, and that’s how you develop your relationship with your crowd. You don’t do this 100 percent all the time. But you should be aware that if you start doing shit that your significant other – in this case the crowd – doesn't like, you’d be stupid if you continue doing it.

Coming out of a Swedish metal tradition, your music is surprisingly melodic. Sometimes hauntingly beautiful tunes with beautiful choirs. How did this sound emerge?

I have always listened to lots of different music styles. Everything more or less oriented in punk and rock. Except for my love for underground extreme metal from the '80s, most of the other types of music that I listen to are actually quite melodic. I’ve always been melody driven. Ninety-nine percent of the time, my way of listening to a song is to listen to the melodies. It doesn’t hurt if there’s a really good rhythm.

For me, melody is like the dialogue of a film. If you just make a film with just background, it might be an interesting idea. But if you want the film to be of value, you definitely need to have someone within frame saying something. And it’s important what he or she is saying. That, for me, is the melody of a song.

But then you can pimp the song out in so many ways and that’s part of the craft of songwriting. But without a melody, the likelihood of a song being good is not big.

On your first album, I understand that you played all of the instruments except the drumming. Is it hard to only be the front man in live performances?

No, I’ve learned how to deal with that. I just had to sort of disregard how I viewed myself. I always thought that I was going to be the lead guitar player of a band. A Keith Richards in the band. My intention with Ghost was the same. During the first four years – between 2006 and 2010 – up until the very last moment of recording the album, I still thought that, just before mixing the record, that we better find a singer. We never found a singer. So we kept my demo vocals basically. I re-sung them to get better takes. They were on the demos just to explain how the song goes.

That’s the way I’ve always worked. When I write a song I always play everything. So regardless of who might have executed it on a record or executed it on stage, it’s always my way of playing. If I were to play a bass in another band, that’s how the bass would sound. If I were to play drums in a band, the basics of how I arrange songs, that what you hear in Ghost. That’s how I play the drums. Then I get a really good drummer in to play really well, but that’s how I approach thought in all these different instruments. And that has become a signature thing for Ghost.

That makes writing records easier. That makes having a band together very hard. But that is just the nature of the beast. It’s just coming to terms with accepting and owning that. It has definitely taken some time.

Fame doesn’t seem to be your prime mover. What do you think of fame now that your identity has been revealed?

I have, as much as anyone who has any inclination to rock in a band, always wanted to be in a well-known rock band. What comes with that is fame. Up until I was probably 30 years old, I wanted to be very famous. And I wanted to be known. After I started working with Ghost, I was definitely enjoying … . I wouldn’t say anonymity. I was never anonymous. But Ghost and the visual side of Ghost was definitely overshadowing anything that I was. Over the years of being in a well-known band without being a very well-known person myself, I actually started to prefer that over being a recognized person myself. Despite having wished for that before, there are definitely two sides of being recognized. When you dream about it, you only see the upsides. It’s only about the perks of fame.

I don’t feel in any way or form that my so called “coming out” was negative. It was just a weird thing having to deal with a higher level of recognition so far into your career. That was a little bit weird because it usually comes gradually.

For example, for seven years I never took photos of people. If you ever saw a photo of me, it was always a friend of mine that took a photo and I thought it would never be posted online. Or it was someone taking a photo of me without me knowing it. So all of a sudden, when I was out of the closet, you couldn’t really tell people any more that you wouldn’t take a photo with them. All of a sudden, you can’t say no to anyone.

That is something I suddenly had to adopt to because it was very easy earlier to say no, no, no, no. You know how it is. Now if I say no, someone could be very offended. Which is a little sad because I might be on my way into a car that is leaving in 10 seconds and we’re in a hurry. And there are 10 people by the car and you’re like, “I really don’t want to do this to you but … .” And I can’t even finish that sentence before the door is closed. And people get offended. I don’t want people to be offended and sad.

Fame is something that sort of came overnight. But it’s a good problem to have.

All content owned by River Cities Reader

[whereisten]

The Wedding Singer 

Summary: You are an up-and-coming singer and songwriter who is thriving in the wedding singer business. When you find yourself singing for your former best friend Samantha Perez and not-so-former crush Yuta Nakamoto, shit really hits the fan. 

Multi-part series: Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

Part 1

Word Count: 4,000 words 

Being a wedding singer in Miami, Florida was no simple feat, you thought to yourself. There was no one quite like a picky bride. But a picky bride and groom? That was another challenge in itself.

Especially on this specific day. April 29, 2019. You were meeting your clients in their lavish home in Brickell. Everything was very pristine but cold. You felt like you were in a homey clinic.

“Y/N, it’s so nice to meet you!” A young woman rejoiced when she welcome you inside. “Thank you so much for seeing us on such short notice. I’m Renee Torres.” Renee was the one who contacted the agency.

“It’s nice to meet you! My manager told me this was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up so here I am!” You felt a little more at ease with meeting a friendly bridesmaid. Thankfully, she wasn’t catty like other bridesmaids you’ve had to interact with. “Fantastic, if you’ll just follow me.” Renee led you into the living room.

“Sam. Yuta. This is Y/N!” Renee left you with the couple.

Your heart fell when you heard her name.

And his.

Holy mother of God. Samantha Perez.

And Yuta Nakamoto.

“Y/N!” Your former friend Samantha Perez stood up from her loveseat and hugged you. “How long has it been? Eight years?”

“Oh my God, Samantha,” You said as you lost whatever oxygen you had left in that second.

“Y/N,” Yuta said as he joined you and Samantha. “It’s so great to see you.”

And there he was. The boy of your dreams. Well, no longer a boy. But still possessed that boyish charm that wrapped everyone around his little finger. Yuta Nakamoto was a star basketball player even when he was in middle school. You always hid behind your group of friends when you all went to every one of his home games. You drew the line at traveling to his away games, unless it was a championship.

Yuta was always beautiful. A radiant smile from the very first day you met. He was always kind to you in every class you’ve ever shared. He’d lend you a pencil on the very rare occasion when you were the one asking for one. He danced with you at homecoming when no one had asked you and you were very near the point of crying all the way home, feeling sorry for yourself. He bought you a rose every year on Valentine’s Day.

Well, he did that for every one of his female friends back then. But still. He didn’t have to do that.

But that was Yuta. The nicest “could’ve been a dick because he’s hot and popular but was not” guy.

As for Samantha, she was always beautiful, too. With her flawless makeup and fantastic bone structure. Her excellent sense of fashion. Heels that could you me neatly in the heart if she kicked you to the ground . Samantha also went to every one of Yuta’s basketball games with you and your friends, you recalled. However, once sophomore year started, she dipped and started hanging out exclusively with the popular kids. She did a complete 180 with you and until this day, you never understood why.

So eventually you stopped wondering.

Until today.

Once Samantha released you from her vise-like grip, Yuta hugged you and your throat went completely dry. He smelled just as amazingly as you remembered. Woodsy mixed with his cologne that he’d used since high school.

When Yuta released you, you said, “Congratulations to you both.” Very convincing, Y/N. Hopefully, they let you leave after singing a song and decide to go in a different direction so you never have to see them again.

“Thank you, Y/N,” Samantha said as she sidehugged Yuta. She was really rubbing it in your face. Especially since she knew you were in love with him for the longest time. Even before she was. Samantha may have crushed on Yuta like the rest of your friend group had. But she had many boyfriends throughout high school. But never Yuta.

“I had no idea you sang, Y/N,” Yuta said, looking particularly interested in you.

“She was spectacular in the junior year talent show,” Samantha nearly purred in his ear. She was massaging his chest. You had to fight yourself from cringing outwardly.

That wasn’t a compliment. Samantha was toying with me. We were supposed to be having a business conversation but Samantha was talking to Yuta like she was ready to rip his clothes off. And it would increase her libido if she did it in front of me.

You shivered.

“Are you cold, Y/N?” Yuta asked. For someone who was clearly getting seduced in front of a third person, he was awfully attentive.

You shook your head. “No, I’m fine, thanks.”

He smiled. Fuck you, Nakamoto. I know you don’t know the effect you have on people, especially me. And that pisses me off.

Samantha began, “Well, Y/N. Renee sent you a list of songs that we’re interested in having performed at the ceremony as well as the reception. So I would like to hear a song from each selection.”

You gulped. You’ve always dreamed of serenading Yuta when you finally had the courage. You thought the chance passed you by. But now that you had a chance, it was too late.

Samantha and Yuta sat back down on the loveseat. Samantha motioned for you to start.

“Which song did you pick from the ceremony list?” She asked.

“Let’s Stay Together by Al Green,” you replied.

Yuta’s big smile reappeared. He really needed to quit it or else you were going to place your head under a faucet and let cold water run over your head.

Samantha said, “Begin at anytime.”

So you did. You took a deep breath. Released. Closed your eyes and gave it to them acapella.

You stopped after the first chorus. Yuta jumped out of his seat and clapped. Samantha clapped politely from her seat.

“Y/N, your voice is incredible. You’re hired!” Yuta said as he took your hands.

You tried to hold onto his praise and not the fact that he was holding your freakin’ hands.

Samantha got up from her seat. You removed yourself from Yuta’s grasp. Samantha said, “Sweetie, I would like her to sing a song from the reception playlist and then we can discuss it.”

Yuta shot her a look. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he looked to be in disbelief.

Enjoy being married to that, Yuta. God help you.

“Okay,” you said, “I’ll sing Yours by Ella Henderson.” As much as you detested Samantha, she had the same taste in music as you and you had to give her high praise for her song selection.

As you sang again, you felt more confident. You felt secure and powerful. You had a gift to share with the world, you told yourself. And if Samantha didn’t see that, she could fuck off. You could sing at as many weddings as you wanted. And hopefully, someday, score a recording and songwriting contract.

When you finished once again with the chorus, Yuta turned right over to Samantha. “There’s no question. She’s the one.”

Not the right choice of words, Yuta. I winced.

Samantha sighed. “Of course, she is. Y/N, you’re hired.”

;;

Jungwoo was cackling across from you at the cafe table. He couldn’t stop. Johnny cringed but you knew he was fighting the laughter that would escape him at any second.

“Jungwoo...it’s not that funny,” you groaned.

Johnny caved. “Are you kidding me? It’s hilarious. Yuta is getting married to that she-demon?”

“Yes,” you replied.

“Yuta was always smart. He took AP Physics with us!” Johnny protested.

“Booksmart doesn’t always translate to lifesmart. If that’s even a word…” You should propose it to Webster’s Dictionary.

“Dude, you must’ve felt like your heart was being RIPPED out of your chest and stomped on the ground. For hours. To the rhythm of a Cascada song. That intensely.” Jungwoo was always so profound.

And merciless.

“Well, It’s been eight years so thankfully, I only cried once since the meeting,” you answered.

Mind you, the meeting was yesterday afternoon.

“So you’re going to do it?” Jungwoo asked.

“Why not? They’re paying me a fortune.”

“Samantha has it out for you to this day,” Johnny warned.

“Oh, I know. But...the more I thought about it...she’d want me to run and hide. I mean, she’ll also want to see me squirm at her wedding. A present no one else can give her but me. My pain and suffering.”

“Why go through with it? Why are you letting her torture you-oh God, you think Yuta will change his mind and run away with you? Oh honey bunches…” Jungwoo took my hands in his. Uh oh…he only threw “honey bunches” out when I was being truly pitiful.

You smacked him. “Don’t be silly. Yuta and I are never going to happen. We were and always will be platonic. He’s an undeniable flirt and too nice for his own good. That’s something Samantha will have to deal with. But me? I’m going to sing my ass off and make everyone cry like they’ve never cried before. I’m not going to let Samantha get to me.”

Much.

Johnny frowned. “I hope you’re right…”

“Sometimes I gotta be. And this is one of those cases in which I am!”

“Alright alright...Let’s change the subject.” Jungwoo scratched his blonde coconut head.

You smiled. “How’s it going with Vanessa these days?”

He blushed while Johnny chuckled. “She’s great, Y/N. She’s the first girl who has ever laughed at my jokes without a hidden agenda.”

“And how can you tell?” Johnny asked. He gave me a knowing smile as he directed that question to our friend.

“Because I walked her to her apartment and she cooked me dinner and then sent me off.” Jungwoo had a daydreaming look on his face. He was smitten.

“And you weren’t upset about that?” You asked.

“Not at all. I want to take it slow.”

You cooed. “Our little Jungwoo is finally becoming a man.” You, Johnny, and Jungwoo befriended each other during your stint of musical theater at the University of Miami. It was yours and Johnny’s senior year and Jungwoo’s freshman year back then. Three years later, Jungwoo was a senior now. Johnny was a producer, working at DC Records, a very affluent label in the States. You were very proud of your friends.

They were still idiots, though, and that made you feel even more fond of them.

“Okay okay next topic,” Jungwoo demanded.

You sighed. “Well, Samantha is so anal that she’s choreographed her entire wedding.”

Johnny and Jungwoo frowned at each other in confusion.

“Which means I’m going to every rehearsal, even if I’m not ‘performing’ the entire time,” you said.

“You sure it’s not Yuta who enjoys a good musical number?” Johnny chuckled.

“Yuta, as perfect as he may be, is no dancer,” you answered.

“I seem to remember you raving about how Yuta was an amazing dancer after Homecoming junior year,” Johnny delivered that sucker punch.

High school you had a big mouth. “But then we saw his Cupid Shuffle senior year.”

Jungwoo begged, “Send that video my way, please. I gotta see what is so special about this Yuta Watanabe.”

You and Johnny corrected him, “Nakamoto.”

Jungwoo shrugged. “Whatever.”

;;

A week had passed since you were hired by Yuta and Samantha. Today was the first day of rehearsal for the ceremony AND the reception. The rehearsal space was at the Brickell City Centre Ballroom. The ceilings ran high with diamond chandeliers. The dance floor stretched far and wide. Although the tables were covered, you already knew you would love to have your own wedding here. It probably cost a fortune.

The irony? This wasn’t the venue for the happy couple’s wedding.

There were over 50 people present. Most likely, some of them were dancers while the rest was the wedding party. You recognized some of your high school classmates. Although you weren’t particularly chummy with any of them, you still greeted each other.

Samantha got up on the stage and spoke into the microphone. “Alright folks, we’ll get started in ten minutes. In the meantime, feel free to grab some water bottles and snacks!”

Maybe Samantha could be redeemed. You walked over to the snack table. Your heart almost stopped when you nearly tripped on your wedge. Oh for God’s sake...Please don’t let me fall.

You almost did but someone grabbed you before you kissed the floor. You awkwardly clung onto a stranger as he dipped you. You two looked like you were in a freeze frame of a tango.

You looked up into the brown eyes of your savior and your body temperature reached astronomical levels. His eyes and even his eyebrows were sharp, making his face all the more striking. His black hair tickled your right shoulder.

“Oh my God I am so sorry! Thank you for catching me.” You rambled as you regained your balance and let him go.

He asked, “Are you okay? You seem panicked.”

So much for thinking you had it together.

“I’m okay, I promise,” you reassured him.

He lifted an eyebrow and it was the most attractive thing you’d ever seen. “If you say so. I’m Taeyong, by the way. The best man.” He offered his hand.

You shook his hand a little too enthusiastically. “Oh, hi. I’m Y/N. The wedding singer.”

“Oh, so you’re the infamous Y/N.”

“Oh dear God…what did Samantha say about me?” Yeah, you were panicked.

Taeyong chuckled. “Nothing. Yuta’s the one who wouldn’t stop talking about your voice.”

You blushed at yourself for jumping to conclusions and being in the presence of this man. “Oh.”

Taeyong said, “I can’t wait to hear you for myself.”

You gulped. It was the way he said it. You didn’t know if everything that he said came off so sensually or if it was all in your head.

;;

Rehearsals were in full swing. The wedding party was practicing their ceremonial entrance. The bridesmaids and groomsmen were paired up. Maid of honor Renee was paired up with Taeyong. He had an effect on everyone, it seemed, because Renee was almost to the point of melting.

Renee told you that you would be able to leave in the next hour after your rehearsal to the ceremonial entrance. The wedding party and the others would scrutinize you, then. Including the best man. And suddenly, all of the nerves hit you.

No, Y/N. These are clients. They don’t know anything about you and if they did, they would remember your Jesse McCartney phase and that you took very meticulous notes in every class you had together. That was that. None of them cared about how you liked Yuta. Everyone liked Yuta. There was even a waitlist to ask Yuta out in high school. So what made you stand out from the other girls? You were just a nice girl from high school, okay? Now show them who you grew up to be.

You got up on the stage and stood up at the mic, having pre arranged the songs with the sound guy. You were waiting to get approval from Samantha that Johnny perform piano and guitar with you, come wedding day.

It was just you and the microphone. And surprisingly, this was the first time you weren’t anticipating Yuta’s reaction.

Samantha and Yuta approved your cover of “Let’s Stay Together” that they decided that you would perform it during the ceremonial entrance.

The instrumental began. You sang the first verse. “I’m...I’m so in love with you. Whatever you want to do...is alright with me…”

You didn’t know what it was that happened to you when you sang. You just kind of transformed into the version of yourself you wished you could always be. Jungwoo told you that you turned into a seductress when you sang. Johnny said that you should own who you were and never look back.

You liked to close your eyes when you sang so you could really get into the song. But you chose to make eye contact with Taeyong since he was a stranger and in that moment you found it easiest to interact with him. Plus, you wanted him to know that you were interested and see if you really were a seductress.

Might as well shoot your shot.

When the song ended, you were overwhelmed by the roaring applause and you smiled. They could call you Miss Colgate Optic White with how big your smile was that moment. Taeyong was grinning right at you. You only noticed that he had moved closer to the stage. There was a little girl right beside him. She had wavy blonde hair and brown eyes.

She looked a lot like Samantha.

Samantha gave you a thumbs up and motioned for you to leave the stage. That was it for today. Thank the Lord.  You went to grab your purse and water bottle when the little girl surprised you and only stared at you.

“Hi…” You said carefully.

The little girl took this as a cue to let it all out. “Oh my God, you are amazing. You are better than Leona Lewis, Ariana Grande, Alicia Keys, and Adele combined. And you’re pretty like a princess.”

The little girl couldn’t have been more than seven years old. She was adorable and very enthusiastic. Her words warmed your heart. “Thank you. Nah, I wouldn’t say that. But I do want to be a singer like them. Someday.”

The little girl’s mouth opened. “Please. That would be awesome! I’m Sonya!”

“It’s nice to meet you, Sonya. I’m Y/N.”

“Y/N, will you marry my brother?” She asked.

Well, that was a shock. You laughed. “Who’s your brother?” It sounded like you were entertaining the possibility of marrying her brother.

“Taeyong!” Sonya yelled.

Wait.

Taeyong, you realized, hadn’t been that far away from you and Sonya during your little exchange. He approached you. Sonya wrapped herself around one of his legs. “This is my big brother, Taeyong.”

“We’ve met, Sonya,” Taeyong said as he smiled fondly down at his sister and met your gaze with that same expression.

“She is perfect for you,” Sonya said, “I know he’s a neat freak and very very bossy but he’s a great guy. I think his plushie collection is pretty cool, too. Do you like plushies, Y/N?”

Taeyong gaped at his sister. You giggled.

“A plushie collection, huh?” You teased.

“He has Piplup and Pikachu and Rilakkuma, too,” Sonya bragged. “He would buy you a lot of plushies, Y/N. So please marry him.”

“Sonya, why do you want me to get married so badly?” Taeyong asked.

Sonya sighed. “Because Sam is getting married. And I want you to be happy, too.”

Wait a minute. What did Samantha have to do with this?

“Wait, how do you know Samantha, Sonya?” You couldn’t hide the frown on your face.

“She’s my sister, Y/N. She is my sister from Mommy and Taeyong is my brother from Daddy,” Sonya said. She definitely said this a lot.

You couldn’t conceal your shock.

“Y/N? Are you okay? You look like you saw a ghost,” Taeyong said, concerned.

“You and Samantha…” You began.

“Step-siblings. Sonya is our half-sister,” Taeyong explained.

How did you not know about this?

“Oh.” That was all you could muster.

“So what do you say, Y/N?” Sonya asked. “Will you give my brother a chance?” Sonya looked so hopeful and kind and radiant.

You started to see the resemblance to Samantha. The wide-eyed dreamy expression she used to have when you were in primary school. The giggly and teasing lilt in her voice. Her laugh most of all.

“Sonya, leave Y/N alone,” Taeyong said.

Sonya pouted. “Fine. But I’ll try again next time. And the time after that. And the time after that. You are coming to the next practice, right Y/N?”

You nodded.

“Good!” Sonya smiled. “There’s hope! Bye Y/N!” Sonya ran off to Yuta. Yuta scooped Sonya off the ground and spun her in circles.

“Y/N?” Taeyong asked cautiously.

You looked at him. “Samantha and I were friends. A long time ago.”

“Really?” He raised his eyebrows.

“It...didn’t end well.”

“But if that were true, why are you here?” He asked.

“Good point. There’s a lot of reasons I can think of.”

“Like?” Taeyong wasn’t hiding his intrigue.

“Please don’t laugh.”

“Now you know if you start off with that...There’s a guarantee that I will laugh,” he said.

“That is so true.” You sighed and continued. “She and Yuta hired me because...I clearly don’t suck at what I do.”

“Oh, definitely not.” Taeyong gave you a deep, meaningful look. Like he had more to say.

You gulped. “And Samantha probably wanted to throw it in my face that she was marrying Yuta.”

“You know Yuta?” He asked. A trace of disappointment was on his face. It was almost as if he knew where this was going.

“We all went to school together up until high school. Samantha and I were chapter members of the Yuta Nakamoto fan club.”

He asked, “Wait, that was an actual club? I thought Yuta’s high school friends were bluffing.”

“There wasn’t an actual club. There may as well have been. The waiting list to date Yuta was very real, though.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Were you on the waiting list?”

You laughed. “Hell, no. I didn’t think I had the right to be.” You regretted saying that last sentence. Your low self-esteem from high school was coming back in waves.

He glared, his jawline very prominent in that second. “Is that so?”

“I...have no idea why I’m telling you all of this but...don’t look too much into it. I’m just here to do my job.” And then go home and have some green apple sangria to numb the pain.

“You...don’t still like him, do you?” Taeyong asked. “Yuta?”

You winced. “Do you want me to lie?”

“Nope.”

“I kinda still do. But it’s been years since I’ve seen Samantha and Yuta. I don’t know who they are now. I never really knew Yuta in high school, either. We weren’t that close of friends.”

Taeyong still looked annoyed.

“What’s with that look?” You asked.

“I was going to ask you out...but now with the truth out…I’m not so sure.”

Your jaw dropped. Someone was going to have to help you pick it up off the ground. “Wait, what?”

“From the moment you grabbed a chocolate chip cookie, I’ve been trying to get up the nerve to ask you out. And then I caught you before you fell. And then you sang. And then it was really over for me.” Taeyong moved closer to you.

You didn’t want anyone to be suspicious of you and Taeyong. After the bomb dropped that Taeyong was Samantha’s brother, you were even more on your toes.

“Taeyong…” You didn’t know what to say. He felt a spark, just like you did. Who knew your clumsiness could work in your favor?

“If you’re still into Yuta…” Taeyong said.

You interjected. “Taeyong, I’m attracted to Yuta. But do I like him enough to really say I like him? Even love him? No.”

Taeyong put his hands in his pants pockets, waiting.

“Taeyong, we just met. I think we still need to get to know each other before we entertain the idea of a date.” You couldn’t believe you were saying this. Did the fact that Samantha was his sister now deter you at all?

His somberness faded completely. “Really?”

“Yes,” you said.

“Okay, well how about a movie tonight?” He didn’t waste anytime.

“What were you thinking of watching?” Please say horror. Please say horror. Please say horror.

“I’ve been wanting to see The Conjuring 3...Are you into scary movies?” He asked, hopeful.

It was as if the Lord smiled down upon you at that second.

Well, that day, the Lord smiled down upon you. Multiple times.

Part 2 (Coming Soon)

[shadowofmytime]

>> some of my absolute favorites ! like and reblog if you save and enjoy ! happy reading and give some kudos to these amazing writers ! always feel free to send me some of your favorites ! ! <<

>> There is a bit so for your convenience they are in alphabetical order ! The ‘s’s are some of my all-time favorites ! ! <<

>> min yoongi x park jimin <<

All the seasons of your love - 5k+ [college au]

The movement in the library was still slow in the first week, so Yoongi could easily remember the few people who came by. That's why he pays so much attention to a certain dark-haired freshman who walks in on a Wednesday afternoon - or at least that's what he tells himself. He goes over to the front counter and asks Yoongi for directions to the Economy 101 session and, God, his voice is as sweet as his eye-smile.

Or how librarian Yoongi fell head over heels for cute freshman Park Jimin who, unfortunately, was very much straight - or so Yoongi thought.

Bon Voyage - 47.9+ [tourist! au]

Yoongi was meant to be taking the trip of a lifetime with his boyfriend. But now he's in Paris, alone and miserable. That is until he collides - quite literally - with one Park Jimin.

Boys who talk shit - 26k+ [college au]

When Yoongi enrolled in BTS (aka Boys who Talk Shit) Boarding School, he wasn't really expecting to be the only 'straight' (to be read sarcastically) guy in a room of seven geniuses (aka children aged five to ten, honestly). Plus four pet spiders. Yes, plural.

Chaotic episodes in A Place of Love and War, where Yoongi learns all about True Love via Park Jimin, Music and Marriage. Sort of. Brain bleach and earplugs are strongly recommended.

Conflicting arrangement - 162k+ [fake boyfriend au]

"Absolutely not," Yoongi deadpanned. "Namjoon-ah. I value you as a friend, and I think I'd even go as far as to say that you're my best friend, but absolutely fucking not."

"You owe me," Namjoon pleaded. "Come on, Yoongi, it's not a big deal."

"Your boyfriend's best friend's best friend needs a fake boyfriend to come out to his family this Chuseok, all the way in fucking Busan," Yoongi repeated drily without pause, making Namjoon wince. He flipped a page of his textbook, picking up his highlighter. "Not a big deal, Namjoon. Amazing."

Cotton Candy - 240k [high school rock band]

"He could get used to sitting next to Yoongi like this. To have him around. To have the band around. To smile and feel happy. To see Yoongi sitting in front of an instrument and having him play just for him.

'If this was my happy ending,' Jimin thinks, resisting the urge to lean his head on Yoongi's shoulder, 'if I wasn't who I am, I'd just let you have me whenever you want. You could have me anytime.'"

As spring turns into summer, school band Cotton Candy unexpectedly loses its singer and the members are forced to look for a new vocalist. Six boys find one in the form of the promiscuous pink-haired boy Park Jimin who makes a home in their hearts and finally finds a place he belongs

Daegu drift - 53k+ [motorcyclist / playboy au]

Jimin stops in Daegu for a big motor show and gets caught up with the locals. Specifically one Min Yoongi.

Sneak Peek:

Yoongi has his arms folded as he stares Jimin down.

“Are you going to join the rally, or not?”

Jimin takes his time answering because he likes the way Yoongi is looking at him. “Sure. I guess it could be fun. But you do realize none of you have a chance against a Bugatti, right?”

“It’s not the car that wins the race,” the other man says. “It’s the driver. You could have the fastest, best-equipped car in the goddamn universe, but if you’re a shit driver, it doesn’t make a difference.”

Goodbye from lonely - 65k+ [uncle yoongi!]

Park Jimin works two jobs that he loves and is going to college to get his teaching degree.

Min Yoongi is a personal assistant who hates his job and spits in his boss' coffee every day.

Kim Taehyung has been infatuated with his clueless co-worker for the better part of a year.

Jeon Jeongguk has a three-year-old daughter that he'd do anything for.

Somehow the tiny human brings them all together.

Or

Tae is in love with Kookie -> Kookie's daughter takes Jimin's ballet class -> Yoongi is Kookie's stepbrother -> Jimin and Yoongi meet because of Kookie's daughter.

In your eyes (it’s where I wanna be) - 5.5k [coffee shop! au]

Jimin pauses with his marker inches away from the cup, because — is he really going to do this? Isn’t it a bit old-fashioned to write something flirty on a coffee cup? But no matter what his churning gut says about the danger and what the hell are you doing do you want to die, this guy is — with no better way to put it — totally Jimin’s Type with a capital T.

(Or: Jimin accidentally starts a nickname war with the cute blonde who likes his coffee way too bitter.)

Inked flowers - 6.4k [tattoo artist / florist au]

Something stopped him. A sound of a piano. He looked around and saw a light coming from the window on the other side of the street. On the third floor was an open window. A light and the sorrowful sound of a piano flew out of the room. Jimin looked closer and saw a figure or at least a top of someone's head.

The melody was so sad and sorrowful that Jimin wanted to cry. He started thinking, what could possibly go inside that person’s head? What were they thinking? Jimin just hoped that they weren’t sad and alone.

(let me see you) get high then low - 4k+ [photographer/model au]

"The light-haired model is the kind that fascinates Yoongi, and at the same time, he prefers to steer away from. He's all smiles and flowers, drawing you in with his cuteness until he's not anymore. Suddenly, he’s something else entirely; he's that false calm, the ocean that looks smooth on the surface but will drag you down to its depths if you dare to touch it."

or

Min Yoongi works in a photography studio with some (very questionable) friends that can't get any work properly done without making a bit of a fuss.

Park Jimin is a model handcuffed against his will and bored. Also a little bit horny, maybe.

Math Tutor - 11.7k [bad boy! yoongi]

Min Yoongi is the school's resident Bad Boy™. He's covered in tattoos, is pierced, curses like a sailor, smokes like crazy, doesn't give a shit about anything, possesses a hot temper that has people steering clear of him, and is desperately in love with Park Jimin, the adorable math nerd. When Jimin is tasked with tutoring Yoongi in math, who is in danger of failing the class and being held back a year, both boys are hesitant. Yoongi because he can't think straight around the boy with startling red hair, and Jimin because Yoongi is scary as hell and looks like he can easily kill someone. Gradually, though, the two grow closer, and Jimin finds that Yoongi is nothing like how he'd imagined.

Maybe I hate you can be our always - 35.9k [enemies to lovers]

When Yoongi thinks about it, really gives it genuine thought, it's possible that Park Jimin isn't the worst person in the world.

//

(Or, Yoongi and Jimin get off on the wrong foot.)

Ode to yoonmin - 4k+ [texting]

yoongi and jimin are in very much in love but they're the only ones who don't know it

OR

chat fic with a bunch of bad jokes and memes ¯\_(ツ)_/

Out of my system - 101.6k+ [one night stand]

Yoongi likes one night stands and he understands how they work. What he doesn’t understand, however, is how he ended up in bed with a probably-not-legal kid crying in his arms about his broken heart, because he’s pretty sure (and correct him if he’s wrong) that a babysitting job was not what he was looking for when he went to the opening of his friend’s new club

Standing on the brink of 376 - 42.9k+ [street racing]

When Taehyung woke him up at three AM to go to a street race—an illegal one, no less—claiming it would help his social anxiety, Jimin never actually expected it to do much for him, except maybe make him cry hysterically. He found that he really wasn't too far off-kilter with that assumption, but it was only after he'd suffered through countless bouts of insecurity that he realized, hidden behind each stuttered breath, every inevitable tear, every spark of unavoidable fear, and even the customary cloud of cigarette smoke itself, lay a tremendous amount of affection for a certain platinum haired street racer that he can't even begin to justify. But when his opinion of fact, fate, and even life itself continues to blur with each push of the gas pedal, he thinks he just might be able to forgive himself for falling in love with a criminal, when the nonsensical moonshine of the present mutes the anxiety that had been a constant within his heart up until this November.

Strawberry lube - 82.7k+ [college au]

Yoongi remembers little to nothing of their crazy drunken night out. But of two things he's absolutely sure, one: he's not gay, two: he just slept with Park Jimin

The Paradiso Lounge - 192k+ [photographer/stripper au]

“Do I have to pay you for that service?”

This isn’t a dream (let me love you) - 26k+ [highschool au]

As captain of his high school’s basketball team, Min Yoongi dedicated all of his attention to his team and their games. His focus on the game never waned, not once for anything or anyone.

Well, until head cheerleader Park Jimin flashed his abs during a solo cheer and made him fuck up his shot

Trying to Behave (but you know we never learned how) - 329k+ [non-idol! au]

It's been years since Yoongi's last seen him and the younger boy is a shell of his former self in a way that makes his heart twist in his chest. And yet, after all this time and countless days of convincing himself to let him go, he's still unconditionally, head over heels in love with Park Jimin.

(Jimin and Yoongi grow up together.)

Valentino Summers - 657k+ [‘80s gangsters]

Whether or not Jimin was smuggling drugs really didn’t matter. He was hustling, and these days that was all there was to it.

Hustle and survive or struggle and die.

Y/N masterlist  << check it out !! xoxo

[artificialqueens]

living on the edge of the law (biadore) - chapter 5 - lily2

bianca needs an outlet and all her friends are either flirting or too drunk to realize, adore is beyond stressed with her new restrictions and album being put out & sasha reaches an absolute breaking point.

— *.✧ “So you’re not exactly the fondest of her is what I am hearing?” Jinkx asked, taking a sip of her Pepsi, genuinely intruiged by the way of which Bianca was speaking. It bad been a full work week since Bianca had begun assisting Adore Delano, the grundy and up and coming singer from Azusa, California. Her auburn hair twirled around her finger curiously listening to Bianca talk, well yell— all her emotions and anger and work stories out.  “It’s not that! It’s really not, when she performs and she’s doing her thing? Jesus, she’s fucking amazing.” The small twinkle in Bianca’s eyes when she started talking about Adore singing was enough of an indication to Jinkx, “So you like her and her music, she’s just understandbly a bit tense, she’s young, and smells horrible?“  “Exactly!” They laughed, cheering glasses, Jinkx the one who was unlucky and stuck driving for tonight, Pepsi in hand whole Bianca took down tequila shots, “You don’t have to die of alcohol poisoning today y'know!” She spoke up over the music, Bianca rolling her eyes, scoffing a bit offended. “Bitch you of all people should know that I, as a Latina, cannot legally get drunk off tequila, it’s fucking water!” She yelled before taking down another shot and holding onto Jinkx’s arm, smiling to know that she had her closest high school friend in her presence and now permanently since she had moved to Santa Monica. The waiter came with their food and with a small slip of paper, passing to Jinkx who was definitely confused as to why a young waiter would be passing her something as generic as paper, crumpled and with clear writing inside judging by the blue ink stains from the outside. “Is this for me?” She asked, Bianca stunned.  “Yes, our bartender wanted you to have it, the girl with the dyed platinum hair.” He said before taking his now empty tray as Jinkx opened the slipe to find a phone number enclosed as well as a small message that read: Please take the number, I’m Ivy and I think you’re absolutely beautiful xx . Bianca snaked her eyes over to look at the note as she completely widened her eyes, “Well damn, atleast she isn’t fucking around with you.” The bartender who was apperantly named Ivy stared at Jinkx, looking for a reaction and getting one in the form of a smile and glance over, shoving the number in her pocket and brushing her hair from her face, “Maybe I still can get around.” She joked much to Bianca’s dismay.  “Oh bitch we are not that old, don’t do me like that.” Bianca taking a bite of her salad, decently content with the actual flavor of it though Jinkx was now only staring at that mysterious bartender who would return the glances often with a bashful smile. “Go and talk to her, say I want some alcohol bitch.” She whispered teasingly before Jinkx punched her stomach under the table, Bianca yelling before Jinkx shushed her, standing up. “I need five minutes is all.” She left the table and went over right to the mysterious woman.  “Oh sure!” She yelled before going on her phone, not wanting to answer Adore’s new texts right now, more trying to look occupied so she could try and spy on her close friend, Jinkx already cackling while talking some nonsense to the flirty bartender who made her a drink, unsuprisingly.  She finally replied to Adore who was just ranting on and on about how many limits her new album would have, Bianca telling her to suck it up and realize this was how the cooperate world worked unfortunately. The singer replying with nothing but crying emoji’s, Bianca quickly clicking out it not exactly wanting to deal with her childlike antics in a restaurant like trying to look preoccupied.  Two notifications popped up across her phone’s screen as banners, both were from Sasha, which was surprising considering how little she ever needed or asked for from Bianca, she seemed like she had her life together and wasn’t too worried about depending on friends over text, she just occasionally asked for some paperwork and a question about Shea, she realized even in just one week working at the office that everyone realize the emotions and feelings were beyond real besides the two people who were showing it most: Shea and Sasha. Bianca, Katya is throwing a party tonight, no reason specifically and she totally forgot to text you, I’m at her house and she invited you if you would like to come.  She begun typing a response almost immediately before doing a double take on the second message which mentioned the fact this party would almost hundred percent be a karaoke party. Working with singers was one thing but actually having to be under the influence of her co-workers and alcohol and sing for fun was a completely different ballgame.  Bianca didn’t care much for if she sounded good or not, she wasn’t Adore and not like karaoke was ever taken very serious especially at a party with the people she had begun to consider friends at the very least— she wasn’t exactly where the flaw in the plan was but something in her stomach growled, maybe she was just feeling far too attached to music and musicians tight now and didn’t want to think about her job outside of work. Okay I’ll come, just text me the details of the party and date, bring alcohol or no?  And just like that Bianca Del Rio, most known for her attitude just accepted a personal invite to a damn house party for a job she had barely started a full week ago, the only thing that could’ve made it possibly better was Courtney being closer and not hours ahead, never being able to FaceTime and Adore being a bit more mature and making her own decisions, to be less reliant on her friend she had spoke about in her office and on Bianca herself.  Bring nothing, Katya has enough please trust me on that :)  Jinkx insisted she would be back by now but Bianca just finished her food and paid the check without her knowing, slyly sliding off her chair and leaving a note for Jinkx saying there was a work party she had to go help and that she hopes things work out with the Ivy chick. She snuck herself out before skipping along to her car, turning it on to work the AC before reading Adore’s message, asking for her to come if she could and help Adore find a house or studio to stay in, expressing genuine want to get out of her best friend’s apartment in Los Angeles.  Please B!!! I need help, I have virtually no credit but I can’t keep leaning on her, you’re totally right. We can do it at your house if you want so you don’t have to make the trip. Bianca groaned, “She really just had to reply right after Sasha?” She muttered before thinking, it was a Friday so not like she had anywhere to be on the weekend, all she needed to do was finish organizing her closet and call Courtney and spill some more news and stories for the week. “Okay let’s do a few hours at Katya’s and then she can come over, perfect!” She planned aloud before texting her to come to her house around 10PM, sending her addressing and adding a: Don’t fucking walk this time you bitch. STAY SAFE!!!  She dropped her phone and blasted her music, slightly letting the window down, she had the decent and general idea of where Katya lived after having to take her home this past Wednesday because her car broke down or some shit like that, she was right across the recording studio and a block on the left so not like she could get lost, especially when seeing the Russian flag on her mailbox. It was extremely fucking stupid as a decoration in her own opinion and it was indeed very extra but it definitely helped Bianca distinguish her house quite easy.  “Hey whores!” Bianca teasingly called from the door once hearing Katya’s distinct voice yell at her to come in once she rung the doorbell. “Hello!” Smiled Sasha who was rummaging and sorting through the alcohol that filled the absolute perimeters of Katya’s shelves.  “Guess I really didn’t need to bring the alcohol when you have an entire liqour store in the back of your kitchen.” Katya snickered at Bianca’s comment before turning, holding a bottle of whiskey, “Some of it is just for guests, I don’t drink beer but I have some just incase someone like Shea comes over who can’t handle her liqour well.” Sasha slapped her on the back and cursed something unintelligible to Bianca who laughed, clapping and stealing some of the chocolate Katya had laid out.  “How many people did you invite?” She asked jokingly looking at the alcohol and food before Katya replied with a shrug, “Only about twelve people.” Bianca nervously smiled, that was about ten too many in her book. She was extremely extroverted but really liked her peace and quiet and knew it would be her awkwardly sipping alcohol and watching all these others talk so comfortably with eachother considering they all probably had worked together for years “Oh you’re great, you’ll be fine.” Katya’s voice sounding absolutely serious when she spoke the reply, Bianca had her doubts but trusted her newfound friend and co-worker. “Don’t worry if I get left out I’ll just steal all your fucking alcohol and leave, bag that shit up and go!” She yelled before grabbing Katya’s arm and laughing with the Russian sitting next to her before they started escalating into conversation about Adore and how that entire thing is going, everyone seemed obnxiously interested in that world of Bianca’s especially if it had to do with Adore, it was sweet at first and now it was annoying as hell: she didn’t have much to share so then it was time for Katya to speak.  “I finally asked my crush of about four years on a date.” Bianca’s eyes widened and Sasha almost dropped her glass in her surprise, “You’re joking!” She screamed before clapping and mumbling something in Russian. “Who? You never even told me you had a crush let alone for that fucking long.“  Shea better take notes!  "Her name is Trixie, she’s a singer but we met because we used to work in entertainment, she’s a makeup artist and does hair to but she’s trying to break into music.” Bianca rolled her eyes, “Seems like everyone is nowadays.” Katya almost pushed her off her chair, “She’s actually a fantastic singer, she does more country and folk music, it’s some really cool stuff but I finally asked her and you know what she responsed?"  Sasha absolutely delighted for best friend smiled, "What? I really wanna know!” Bianca put her face in her hands and listened definitely curious, she would laugh if after all of this build the answer was a deadpanned “No”.  “She said yes!” Katya screamed before Sasha also yelled and Bianca yelled since everyone else was, they all hugged before Bianca questioned her antics and if she was invited to tonight. “Oh fuck no, if she saw my friends she would dump me right before our date even happens!” She joked though Sasha wrapped her arms around her fellow Russian friend’s neck and smiled, “I’m very proud of you!” The two seemed to click like sisters, Bianca would’ve probably guessed they were if it wasn’t for Katya very early on distinguishing the two of them though she was sure somehow they were twelveth cousins. The doorbell rung and all three of the girls yelled the door was open, Katya giving a thumbs up before getting out more cups as Shea and Aja walked through the door all at once, stepping in and saying their hello’s and Shea quickly running over to Sasha who happily took the hug and held her hand as they spoke aimlessly as absolutely fucking expected.  “What is the alcohol of choice?” Katya said showing off her bar cart, twirling in her red tulle skirt, smirking. “I just want something straight, no ice.” Aja said dull, sitting down quickly and with a sour face. Katya nodding and fixing her a vodka pouring just a bit of club soda since Aja seemed intent on just vodka but the Russian knew better than that.  “You seem distinctly off today, something wrong?” Bianca tried to be the mediator here but Aja didn’t say a word, clearly wanting space though that only caused Bianca further confusion, “Honey why did you come to a party if you’re just gonna sit there in silence?” Katya quickly shushing Bianca and taking Aja to her room so she could drink and be in peace until she was ready.  The Russian came back out, greeting Farrah, Sharon, Aquaria and Alaska before grabbing Bianca’s arm, still clutching a vodka-soda in the other hand. “She’s having some relationship issues and she really wants to have a good time, I pushed her to come and atleast have a little drink so she wouldn’t have to think about it at home, alone, just let her be. It’s complicated but I swear after a few minutes of peace she will be fine.” Bianca took her word and nodded, the blonde obviously knowing her own co-workers of years in and out, much better than Bianca certainly.  “Let’s fucking sing!” Katya yelled to her friends who were already here, knowing in the back of her mind this was the people she knew wouldn’t be two hours late or busy. “Who is first?” She asked turning on the microphones and her laptop which was hooked to her system and flatscreen which projected the karaoke program on screen, Sasha raised her hand and whispered something to Shea who laughed and got up with her. “Throw us money bitches, you aren’t ready for this!” Shea shrieked before downing her shot and smiling, still holding Sasha’s hand.  Bianca took out a one and threw it, Farrah throwing a ten already. Shea picked up the money and grinned, stuffing it in her coat’s pocket before Sasha typed the song and stood back to back with Shea. “Oh my god it’s a whole production over here!” Alaska grinned happy, leaning into Katya’s large couch that took up almost two thirds of the entire living area which was impressive considering the scope and size of the woman’s house.  The music started and all of them cheered immediately recognizing the song though they let Sasha and Shea take the lead on this, Bianca wanted to see this happen in action. The Russian grabbed the mic as did Shea and they turned towards eachother, not even having to look at the lyrics but neither did anyone else, this song was an absolute classic.

“I’ve been hearing your heartbeat inside of me

I keep your photo right beside my bed

Livin’ in a world of fantasy

I can’t get you out of my head!”

Their singing wasn’t even half bad, it was pretty decent actually although Bianca prayed that meant they wouldn’t be asking for a record deal tomorrow. It was ironic they chose what apparently was “their song” according to Farrah who already had her phone out, recording her friends like a mom at a shitty dance recital, since this song absolutely epitomized their relationship.  Shea and Sasha staring at eachother intently as they sung each word in perfect sync and with the beat just having fun with the song, the Russian twirling her friend around and smiling in pure, delusional happiness.

“I’ve been waiting for the phone to ring all night

Why you want to make me feel so good

I got a love of my own

Shouldn’t get so hung up on you.”

At this point they both faced eachother back to back before turning on the word you, pointing to eachother. “Get a room!” Yelled Alaska who was absolutely eating this performance up, clapping and mouthing all the words when she wasn’t chugging her (already) second glass of some cocktail Katya must’ve made her.

“I remember the way that we touched I wish I

didn’t like it so much 

I get so emotional, baby 

Every time I think of you 

I get so emotional, baby 

Ain’t it shocking what love can do!”

They held hands the entire performance just staring into eachother’s eyes so damn sincerely that Bianca wanted to murder them both. “This is too good.” Farrah whispered to Aquaria as she danced in her seat, still recording. It went on for the entire song before they got to the last lyric and just danced around the wooden floor, smirking and putting the mics back before they all clapped and laughed wildly, “Absolutely stunning.” Aquaria commented before Bianca noticed Shea pulling Sasha away for something.  Oh my fucking god maybe today will really be the day! God knows what Shea is gonna say anyway.  The party grew twice its size in about two hours due to Alaska’s impulsive decisions and big mouth and Bianca decided this would be the perfect time to finally leave and be able to catch up with Adore, texting her as she said goodbye to Katya, attempting to look for Shea and Sasha but not finding them, which made her both extremely nervous and extremely happy. She skipped along to her car before turning it on and driving away, not rushing to be anymore since Adore promised she would be at her house at around 9PM, it was about 8:30PM, Bianca definitely had time. It was a fun party but she definitely felt out of place a bit, she wasn’t sure if it was of legitmate concern or just because it had only been a week since she started working there at the office. I’ll figure it out eventually, I always do. *.✧ Shea took Sasha’s hand and squeezed it, the Russian questioning exactly where they were going but the blonde simply left it up on her best friend who insisted she stay quiet so they could sneak their way through Katya’s room and going up the staircase though Katya and Alaska covering a tipsy version of “Last Dance” by Donna Summer was definitely enough of a distraction from anyone caring about what they were doing.  “Are we going on the roof?” Sasha joked before Shea stopped in her tracks. “Oh— you were serious!” The Russian laughing and whispering before blinking, feeling the mascara on her long lashes gently touch her skin, hoping there wasn’t a blackspot now. “I don’t mind!” She quickly intervened before her friend could reply, taking her another corner of the house and saying how she had done this multiple times with Katya on a holiday to watch fireworks without the mess of trying to go to pier all sweaty and crowded.  “I know all of my Russian sister’s home!” She gloated before they made their way, still holding hands and not letting go until they sat awkwardly silent, listening to the wind and staring out at the sun, which was beginning to make its course to set.  “Do you ever miss home?” Shea asked out the blue, it wasn’t at all an odd or weird question to ask Sasha who often talked of her culture and past but in the conversation and setting it did indeed feel a bit suprising.  “Well…” She breathed in before laughing and biting her lip, “It’s complicated.” Shea scooted as she closed her eyes and thought long and hard how to respond, her hand on Sasha’s knee happily offering her support, mumbling that she didn’t have to answer and that it was a dumb question.  “No, no, not at all! I do miss Russia and I will always be proud to have such a complex culture and amazing landmarks and history but part of me, it feels so ashamed. I can’t be who I am because of the country and even though it holds most of what I love and adore and it’s been the biggest source of childhood and happiness, I can’t act like I would want to go back."  Shea was definitely surprised. "I miss all the tea and the way of living in terms of pace, the neighborhoods, how everything is full of a myriad of cultures and I definitely miss the food—” she snickered, “But, I see all of the news and how badly the government is constantly acting, it’s getting worse for us. For us who are different and not willing to concede and fit in with what they think the perfect picture of society is, it’s the worst feeling ever knowing that I will never feel comfortable in my own motherland again.” Sasha feeling herself tear up.  Fuck. Shea didn’t mean to start such a conflict of interest, she quickly put her hands on her cheeks and frowned, wiping her wet eyes, “Don’t cry, it’s not just because of your mascara either, I didn’t mean to make you so sad, I think it’s a very beautiful country I was just wondering since you said your family still lives over in St. Petersburg."  "Do you miss Chicago?” Shea still not taking her hands off her cheeks shrugged honestly, “Sometimes yes, sometimes no: I definitely wanna go back during PRIDE though!” She bragged as she nudged Sasha with her now free hands, the Russian feeling herself get good energy again, smiling at her best friend’s enthusiastic reply.  “Speaking of—” Shea started, stuttering a bit as she felt her Sasha’s face soften and stare, her perfect smile revealing her rose glow at her cheeks.“Yes?” Everything seemed so perfectly silent and at ease when they just stared at eachother but Shea knew she would have to stay atleast something, something to make herself feel validated especially with Bianca and Katya beginning to understandably breathe down her neck about the entire situation. “Sasha, I think we should talk about us, you know.” Her nervous smile and laughter making it difficult to speak, the Russian nodding in wait. “I know you just recently broke up with your man—” Sasha rolled her eyes, “I know but I’m over it don’t worry, you knew he wasn’t the best from the beginning and you were absolutely right, youre my good judgement I guess."  "Well, I’m your best friend, it’s just what I’m here for.” Shea said painstakingly aware that if she didn’t say it now it would never come out. “You’re here always, the others can’t relate!” Sasha was joking but the wink she gave to her completely set off Shea who let her open her mouth to speak before she started looking away, completely in a state of emergency.  “Shea, what’s wrong?” Her gentle and soothing tone spoke, rubbing her shoulders before Shea breathed in before grabbing Sasha by her collar and leaned in, smashing their lips together. The blonde completely surprised to say the least, pushing her away almost immediately after kissing back, something just felt a bit wrong, she wasn’t sure what. “Sasha, I’m sor—"  "No. Stop it, please.” She begged, holding her hands, kissing them before staring into Shea’s eyes trying to make sure she was listening and paying attention. “I was kind of hoping you would soon, Bianca was starting to ask me about how I feel about you every day and I started piecing it all together in my head after years.” She laughed, Shea didn’t know whether to slap or thank Bianca on Monday but they would see after this endeavor.  Their hands interlocked and Shea looked down before Sasha smiled and bent down to lift her head and kiss her, finally. Shea had never felt greater in her entire life and it just had to happen on Katya's roof of all places, as the sun went down: you really couldn’t make this shit up. They didn’t really want to stop kissing, only stopping to breathe and struggling to kiss without giggling everywhere even as their lips met, it was weird.  “Okay I’m gonna call it quits now but only because, I think we should go to my house.” Her hand ran through Sasha’s hair who only gave her a grin, “To your house?” Knowing the kind of activities that would entail, no matter how badly Shea didn’t want to encourage it, it was gonna happen tonight and they both kind of accepted it. “To my house.” Shea whispered leaning in to kiss her again before the Russian pressed her finger to her lips, “And my car?"  Shea slapped herself for that one, "Dammit…” She whispered before they both decided to go into the house so they could atleast talk without wanting to fall off the roof, now that it was getting dark especially. “Let’s just take my car and I’ll drive you in the morning to go and get yours, deal?” She held out her hand for a shake but Sasha only slapped their hands together before quietly jumping into her body unexpectedly, pulling her by her waist, arms around Shea’s neck. Beyond satsified even as she heard the obnxiously loud karaoke still continue.  “Let’s get out of here."  "Thought you’d never ask."  *.✧ Adore knocked once, then twice and then heard Bianca scream and knocked three times just for good measure, coming in an unsurprising jumble mesh of clothing she knew she made look good: not like she was trying to impress anyone anymore, they wouldn’t revoke her contract just because of personal fashion tastes— atleast she hoped not.  "You really had to knock that many times? How fucking obnxious.” Bianca still threw the door open, the singer gripping her planner, a pen and her phone before she closed and locked the door. “Do you want water?” The voice spoke from the kitchen as Adore, beyond impressed, gave herself a little tour of the studio before waving Bianca off who poured some water and ice into a cup anyway, one for Adore even if she seemed to not pay attention to a word Bianca had said.  “I know, it’s very nice.” She sat on the leather couch before Adore joined her, stretching her legs on the couch before putting them down on the ground but keeping them crossed as she opened her planner, Bianca audibly gasping.  “Wow, she actually has something besides her phone and tights, I cannot believe I’m experiencing actual history in the making.” Adore flipped her off and cursed her out, “Oh fuck off hag.” She flipped to the page with the month’s plastered over them, looking for October as she spoke about how in the conference they wanted to do the album release the first week of October but promotion and some single releases month before. “So basically you have to come up with some venues I can do, they said to go out of state if I can for a little."  "Let’s say Nevada because I’m sure the bitches in Las Vegas would die to see you. I don’t think you have enough material just yet to go bigger but we can try and do some stuff there and I’m the west if you think that’ll get you some bank and promotion and actually not fall flat on it’s ass."  An hour later after some math, Adore moving places constantly and Bianca taking notes and making sheets for future reference on her laptop they had begun to slow it down and focus a bit less on work. Somehow they ended up on the topic of family and that’s where something begun it’s development. Adore, now laying her head on her assistant’s lap, groaned, Bianca suprisingly unbothered by the whole ordeal. "My dad is dead and my mom and I gave up on contact after she found out I dropped out of college.” That was tough, even Bianca paused a minute and really thought about this for a second, contemplating getting up so Adore would actually talk and not just close her eyelids and ignore all eye contact possible.  “You have guts for talking about it.” She knew deep down that she should probably finally speak about her parents, which she didn’t often, especially in a situation like this, having only really known Adore for a week, less than even. “I was thrown out.” She admitted softly, finally Adore sat up and grabbed Bianca’s hand, usually she would flinch and almost punch her right in the stomach and make some witty comment about her scent but she would let this pass without any comments.  “They found out from someone, a friend let it slip that I was into women and well— you can imagine how well two latino, immigrant parents took that!” She almost laughed, it was truthfully just the reaction she expected especially considering her age and the time it was found out, right before senior year. “I don’t regret it though, every bitch for them fucking selves, I was raised by wolves."  Adore leaned into her shoulder and felt her lips glued shut as she bit the inside of her cheek, "You’re very brave.” She admitted with nothing but respect and admiration for someone who clearly had seen all she needed to see at a young age especially regarding her personal life and interests, Adore’s mother never had an issue with her sexuality, it was just school and the alcohol. “Well enough of that sappy shit.” She cackled before moving to open her laptop, “Now let’s talk just a bit more about your next few apperances, we wanna organize it good so we can promote it.” *.✧ Eventually Bianca decided to give the clearly drowsy girl a small tour of the studio, showing off all the furniture and admitting Courtney had set her up, she knew nothing about houses which was what they had originally come to speak about but Adore needed to rest first, now wouldn’t be the best time. She saw a guitar and suddenly she was completely melting, running over and grabbing it, “Can I?” She asked like a kid in a candy store, Bianca leaning against the door frame as she turned on the light, this was just a vacant space with no purpose yet.  “If you sing and play, of course, not like I’m gonna serenade you anyway.” She sat on the small couch right next to where Adore planted herself, tuning the guitar before placing her fingers across the strings, rummaging for a pick in her coat, finding one hidden in the left pocket and giving a wink to Bianca, “See I’m not too messy!” Besides the joking she thought a minute, contemplating her song choices, it be cheesy to do her own song wouldn’t it? Or super egotistical? “Okay, this is one of my favorite songs.” She admitted with a heavy grin before she looked down, beginning to strum the strings.

“I got my red dress on tonight

Dancin’ in the dark in the pale moonlight.”

Bianca could die at any second as long as she got to hear that vibrato again, her face unknowingly leaned into her hands just as they did when Adore performed at her gig in Los Angeles, the singer slowly playing as she strummed the strings, so far so good. It was beyond good, it was absolutely perfect, no words to say.

“Done my hair up real big…”

Adore paused and stared into her assistant’s eyes, radiating onto her, she strummed: ”Bianca Del Rio style—“ the sudden ponder and lyric change earning a small clap and grin from Bianca herself who usually would call it a cheap move anyway but this was different, she fixed her long skirt so it covered her legs as she planted them comfortably on the couch as she took in the atmosphere of it all, Adore’s voice was enough to convince anyone of— who knows, the proof of god, but she always had the setting and emotions of the songs down, even if it was a gig as small as singing to Bianca in an abandoned room.

“High heels off, I’m feelin’ alive

Oh my God, I feel it in the air

Telephone wires above

Are sizzlin’ like a snare

Honey I’m on fire, I feel it everywhere

Nothin’ scares me anymore.”

Her hands so perfectly moving across the guitar as she barely even had to look down, even she knew her great capacity of play, this was definitely a song that deserved it’s own cover on her album but they could discuss that later, enough about work on a Friday night, especially after having to suffer through an entire karaoke party. Their eyes met and Adore felt herself completely bash up the next few chords, staring at Bianca the entire time, she embarrassingly put the guitar down before the older woman frowned, “That was fucking amazing, why did you stop?” Adore shook her head, “Messed up is all, got to me.” You did, when you fucking look at me it’s enough to mess up all my skill, how can I already be so damn fixated.  “I’m very tired.” She whispered, wiping her eyes though that wasn’t at all a little white lie, she legitmately felt brutually deprived of her rest. “If you want, and don’t tell anyone I’m being kind, you can stay in the spare guest bedroom, it’s a decent size and has a bathroom so then we can actually focus on finding you a house and I don’t have to have a constant and rampant panic attack about you getting home safe, deal? Great!” Adore couldn’t really refuse, there wasn’t any negative to this expect that she had to tell Tatianna awkwardly that she was sleeping over at her assistant’s house, you know— as professionals do.  Bianca stuffed her hands with two pillows and an extra blanket before dropping it on top of the guest bed, presenting it to Adore who could cry really, that bed looked comfortable and it was getting to be late even if her tolerance for a late night was almost always much, much higher. “If you do anything stupid clean it yourself.” She joked by the door frame before Adore grasped one of the pillows and walked near Bianca, not caring too much that she definitely leaned in to kiss her assistant of one entire week, Bianca’s hands covering Adore’s entire face as she grinned, “Sleep, don’t be fucking stupid. Good night.” She whispered before telling her she was in the other room if she needed anything. “Thank you.” Adore said loud enough for Bianca to atleast give a smile which made her entire heart burst, the door half closed and she was left with her phone and a million pillows in the midst of darkness once the living room lights were all turned off. Dammit Adore, you are so stupid.

[current-mcr-news]

Casual Interactions #7: Full Transcription

John: Alright, cool.

Frank: Alright, we're on. So, Bohemian Rhapsody to me, I understand why people liked it. You know what I mean? Like, it felt a bit TV movie.

J: It looked TV movie.

F: It felt like Movie of the Week to me.

Shaun: Well, it also felt like, those movies, there's not really a story there. It's like a biography. It's like, here's the career of this band but there's not really a story per se.

F: Right, well, it felt very dramatized. Like you needed a hero, you needed, you know, all these characters that make a movie or a TV show work.

S: Here's the thing. When he told his band he had AIDS, it didn't fucking matter. Like, no one cared. There was no emotion there, you know what I mean?

F: You mean in the movie?

S: In the movie, right. Like, there was nothing up to that point, I feel like the guy who portrayed Freddie Mercury, had zero emotion. And when it got to that point, it was like, "Okay, you have AIDS. Alright." Like, where it should have been... more-

F: That seems like it would be like a- yeah. Like a fucking bomb being dropped, yeah.

S: Of course! Like, I don't know. I just wasn't a fan. I mean, I am a fan of Freddie Mercury and Queen, but I feel like this movie didn't-

F: But now you're not.

S: But now I hate them. Now I hate them all.

F: Alright, here's what I enjoyed. Was that, and I felt like up until the end, I was kinda like, "Eh, I don't know. This seems a little too hokey to me. This seems a little too like, you know, Lifetime."

J: It really did look like a Lifetime movie, and I think that Bryan Singer makes movies that look like Lifetime movies. That's his move.

F: Yeah?

J: Even the X-Men movies, it looked like it could've been made for Lifetime drama.

F: Yeah, like TLC and My Strange Addiction to mutations. X-Men, yeah.

J: Little on the nose, but yeah, I totally see where you're coming from with that.

F: Well, here's what I liked about it, was the ending. They showed like, basically a whole concert.

S: Live Aid, right.

F: Yeah. Like-

S: Yeah.

F: And I don't feel like you ever get that in a movie, you know what I mean? It's like-

J: Oh, so they Purple Rained it?

F: Yeah, yeah!

S: They did the whole thing!

F: Yeah, like you know, five or six songs of them, you know, miming this performance.

S: If you watch the bonus features on that, they did the entire twenty some odd minute performance, of the whole thing.

F: Oh really?

S: Of their whole set.

F: That's crazy!

S: It's crazy.

F: You know? And I felt like it felt triumphant.

S: It is, but that's not a movie. That's not what you- I want out of a movie.

F: Yeah.

S: It was cool, but-

F: Well I liked that because that's like, my thing, you know what I mean?

S: Because you play music.

F: Right. Yeah.

S: Sometimes I forget that. And I just think, "Oh, it's Frank in a fucking camouflage shirt."

F: But think about this, right?

J: What do you think his day job is, Shaun? Like, what do you think?

S: I don't really think about that.

F: I don't know either, to be honest. But alright, think about this. Like, say you went to the- say Freddie Mercury was a comic author.

S: Right.

F: And the ending of the movie was just him writing these fucking pages.

S: That'd be so fucking boring.

F: But that's like, that normally happens, you know what I mean?

S: No, I get it! I totally get it.

F: You know like, they play a show and the curtain opens, and then the movie ends.

S: Right.

F: They don't go through twenty minutes of them actually performing it.

S: Right.

F: Because it's never- it's like-

J: Well yeah, because the reality of being a recording artist or a touring band is it's a lot of hurry up and wait. There's so much boring shit that happens!

F: Exactly.

S: Yeah.

J: Like, thank god for the internet now, because touring back when Live Aid was happening, they had to be like, "Okay, cool. We have these- Maybe you have a VCR or a Betamax on the tour bus, we're gonna watch some Richard Pryor comedies or something."

F: Yeah, that happens a lot. It's true.

J: So welcome to the Casual Interactions podcast. This is an episode where we're gonna actually answer some of your questions. A little while ago on Twitter, I put out a call for questions, and boy, you didn't let me down. So there are a ton of questions. We're gonna get to them all on this episode, obviously. However, we're gonna answer as many as we can, so thank you for emailing me. And spoilers, it's not Frank you're emailing, it's me! It's Hambone!

S: "Dear Frank."

J: Yeah, it was a lot of "Dear Frank."

F: Oh really? No, you're getting somebody with way better hair.

J: Well thank you.

F: Reading those emails.

J: That's so nice of you to notice. It's funny because a lot of the questions that came were like, "This is for Frank," so if you're not Frank-

F: Oh, specific? Pacifically?

J: "Read it to Frank."

F: Oh! Yeah, it's secret.

S: Read it to Frank.

F: Secret Frank emails.

J: Alright, so first off, we had a gal named Beatrice who-

F: There's no way.

J: No, swear to god, I'm reading it right now.

F: Really?!

J: And it's funny because this came in in October because someone was clever enough. Beatrice, back in October, to go, "Oh wow, what if I just emailed this address for the podcast, if they're actually gonna get it?" Well Beatrice, we got your email.

F: Our first email!

S: That's my mom's middle name.

J: Is it your mom's middle name?

F: No!

S: Yeah.

F: Is that her?

J: Is it?

S: I don't think it's her.

J: Alright.

F: You don't think she emailed us?

S: I don't think she would know how to.

J: Well, if she didn't-

F: Do I sound really far away, by the way?

J: No, you sound good.

F: You sure? Oh, okay.

J: Yeah.

F: I feel like I sound really far away.

S: You don't look that far away.

F: Yeah. I keep trying to dodge the mic because I can't see anyone.

S: I'm gonna go like this.

J: Well, because you're on the couch. The couch is really comfortable.

F: It is really. I feel like I've sunk into the couch and that I'm in this weird K hole and I can- I'm talking but I'm very far away as I sink.

J: Yeah. I'm looking at you like, "What is he doing?"

F: I know, yeah.

J: "He's just waving his arms. He's just become one with the couch."

F: Somebody help me.

J: So Beatrice would like to know, "During life, was it easy to keep in touch and maintain your friendships?"

F: During life!

S: During life!

J: Yeah, I mean, I'm giving you the Reader's Digest version here. She really enjoyed the first episode.

F: Okay.

J: It was very exciting to hear, but she wants to know that, during life, was it hard to keep in touch and maintain your friendships? She finds herself afraid of that happening as she gets older, with people kinda moving and going in their own directions. I'm paraphrasing right now, but yeah. "Hope you're able to read this," Beatrice, we're reading it right now.

F: Is it a very long email? Is that the deal?

J: It's like four lines.

S: Four lines. Hambone can't be bothered.

J: We're reading the question on air.

F: Beatrice, next time, cliff notes please! I think it's like with anything, you have to make the effort, you know?

J: Right.

F: And some people are better at it than others, at different times during life.

S: I'm not very good at it at all.

F: No, well, I mean you know, we're fucking- everybody's got, you know, we got families and shit. And Hambone's got really good hair.

J: I've got really great hair. I mean, it's like the one thing I have going for me.

F: It's hard! It's fucking hard, man. Like, yes you have to work at it, but also, if the friendship is a true friendship, you're gonna be able to pick up where you left off.

S: Jump right back in, yeah.

F: Jump right back in, yeah.

J: Exactly.

F: You know, I'm not gonna- here's the thing. What? Was that weird?

S: I feel like you moved closer to the microphone to do that!

J: Yeah. I feel like if there was no pop filter there, you'd actually smell that.

S: "Hold on a second while I burp into your fucking ear hole!"

F: Well I wanted to make sure you got the depth of it. I feel like, here's the thing. If a friendship is too much fucking work, if it's like having another girlfriend or something like that, then it's- what's the point, you know? Like, you're not gonna get upset with somebody that they'd not fucking texting you every minute, and you know-

S: So time and space is a good way to weed out the shitty friends.

F: There you go, yeah yeah yeah!

J: Exactly.

F: Yeah, yeah. If they're still there after a couple years of fucking shunning.

S: Yeah.

F: They're your true friends.

S: So the take away from this is shun everybody.

F: Shun everyone!

S: For a few years.

F: And then see!

S: And see what you can back.

F: Definitely, yeah.

J: "Me shunning you is actually for your benefit."

F: That's what I'm saying. That means I like you a lot.

J: Right.

F: If I don't ever call, or text, or write you.

J: See, there you go. But five years later, if we meet in the mall again, you're like, "Wow, he really was a good friend."

F: "Oh, he was great friend! Look at him."

J: "We'll meet you at the food court."

S: Look at him!

F: "Look at him! He's walking away, he doesn't even acknowledge I'm here! That guy's a great friend! Thank you!"

J: Oh shit. Alright, also thank you to Chelsea and Hailey for the first emails back in October. We're not gonna respond, but we're letting you know we read them.

F: See, we're good friends!

S: We're just shunning you.

F: We're shunning the shit out of you.

S: Wait, did you get any emails from past friends of any of ours?

J: No, I didn't.

F: No past?

J: No past friends.

F: Wow!

J: No past friends. I did get one from Taylor in Australia who'd like to know, did we ever feel like Pencey Prep was gonna take off, or did you always know deep down that it was more of a stepping stone in your lives.

F: That it was gonna fail miserably?

S: It was gonna fail.

F: No. I feel like anytime you start a band and you record something, you're like, "Holy shit, this is it. This is going to be it."

S: Yeah.

F: You know? I think, don't you?

J: I agree.

F: Right? I don't know. I mean, otherwise, why do it?

J: You have to. Otherwise, why do it?

F: Yeah!

J: She actually has a great sub question though.

F: Oh okay.

J: "Also, unrelated question, do you guys believe in ghosts?"

F: I wish that I could say for sure, yes, that I believe in them.

S: But do you really want to?

F: Do I wanna believe in it? I want there to be something- like, undeniable proof that there is another plane out there.

S: Plane of existence?

F: Yeah. I think that would be comforting to people.

S: Right.

F: I think.

S: Right. I don't know if I would want a ghost hanging around me.

F: No!

J: Oh hell no!

F: No no no no no.

J: As a person who actually believes in ghosts, I'm gonna say no.

F: You do believe in them, you-

J: Believe in them, don't wanna hang out with them.

F: Have you ever seen one?

J: Not that I can prove.

F: Okay. Not that, alright.

S: Not that I can prove.

F: So why do you believe in them?

J: I don't know, I kind of I guess grew up Catholic and you know, it's kind of a bit ingrained in me since I was a small kid, the afterlife. Heaven, Hell, all that jazz. However, I personally believe, and I want to believe it, there's gotta be something else after out there.

S: I believe that too.

J: I don't know what it is. I'm also like, a very creative person so I get myself all revved up and spooky and spooked out about some stuff, so I don't know mna. I just feel like it's gotta go somewhere, and why wouldn't it still kinda hang out? And if it does, I don't wanna hang out with it.

S: So it's supernatural anxiety.

J: Thank you! That's exactly what it is! And that's why you're the writer of the group, Shaun.

F: I like that. I like that.

J: Fantastic.

F: Alright, so here's a strange thing. For, you know, the past couple years or whatever, so I was in a really shitty accident, and part of me has never been truly convinced that I made it out.

S: That's weird.

F: That's a weird one, right? Think about this, right. So, think about a near death experience. You have that, and then realizing, because you know, the more that you think and fucking process and sink into your own weird couch K hole, you start to think like, no one can convince you that reality is reality.

J: Yeah.

F: Or is it just something that your brain is manufacturing, and what if that is the afterlife. It's just like, synapses happening.

S: But that would mean that Hambone and I right now are in your reality.

F: Right! Yeah.

S: But then we have our own lives.

F: No no, everything revolves around me.

S: But no, we do! Because I go home and I have kids, and Hambone has Elvira.

J: I do love Elvira.

F: I only see that when I'm here.

S: But we see it though.

F: Not in my- you know what I mean?

J: Actually, I gotta say Frank, that if I am a figment of your imagination, I'm actually mad at you for not making me taller.

F: What about me? I should be taller! So, I get the tall first, and then you can come along.

J: Yeah, god. Yeah. This whole not being able to reach the top shelf is just really irking me. Thanks for nothing.

F: I imagine step stools.

J: Well, where are they?

F: You have the ability.

J: So, we have Maggie, who did not say where she's from, has two questions. And the first one I'm gonna answer for Frank, it's "Frank, I love you, adopt me." We're gonna go with no.

F: No. Definitely not.

J: Second-

F: Too many freeloaders in my house to begin with.

J: A lot of freeloaders, yeah. She wants to know, "Have you ever felt disgusted about your hair? I mean, I love it but I wanna know how you feel about it."

S: About Frank's hair?

J: This is directly for Frank and his hair.

F: Oh, this is stupid.

J: Let me see what else we got here. That's actually an email from a website, that's not a question.

F: Spam! Let's answer that one!

S: Hambone asking himself questions.

J: Okay, so-

F: "Would you like to extend your reach?"

J: Yeah. Also, which disproves his whole "we're in his head thing," because I still get spam emails.

F: Well, I still get spam.

J: Yeah.

F: I have a really good, realistic imagination. I'm telling you.

J: Alright so, Emma wants to know, "As a kid, if there were any books or movies or art that inspired you or changed your perspective on things."

F: That's a good one. What do you think? Anyone.

S: As a kid?

F: Alright yeah, what were you not as a kid that really shaped your existence?

J: Well, I definitely would say that I read A Prayer for Owen Meany and my big takeaway was don't give road head because you might get in an accident.

F: Ew. That's also thinner isn't it?

J: Honestly, yeah, that's also the thinner. Don't insult people because they might put a curse on you.

F: Yeah. Oh man. I love that book too, that was a great book. Yeah, I guess Catcher in the Rye is an easy answer. I feel like I only got into comics later on in life. I'm trying to think of early early shit. My dad would show me old Vincent Price movies, you know?

J: Those are awesome.

F: And then later on, you know like, we started getting into the newer 80s stuff like slasher flicks like Nightmare on Elm Street, and stuff like that. And that was, I felt so cool getting to watch that stuff.

S: How old were you when you were watching that?

F: I'm trying to think. When did 4 come out?

J: Nightmare on Elm Street 4?

F: Yeah.

J: That was still in the late 80s, I think.

F: Late 80s. So I mean-

S: You were watching in the late 80s, really?

F: Yeah.

S: 8, 9 years old?

F: Probably.

S: Wow.

F: And I think getting to see the older older stuff, you know, like House on Haunted Hill, and The Tingler.

S: Did you watch that new one, by the way, on Netflix?

F: I did! I did.

S: Yeah.

F: I thought there was a couple of cool reveals but all in all, the ending of it pissed me off, because like, everything's so happy and everything's okay is like-

S: I stopped at the last episode.

J: Of The Haunting of Hill House?

S: I don't know why.

F: I like that you just- that's like jerking almost to completion, and then be like, "Eh, gonna walk away." I think that there's too much happening where they're, you know, where people are remaking things and then turning it into these feel good, like everyone's okay type deals?

J: Right.

S: Is that how that ended? Was it feel good fucking, really?

F: I mean.

J: Nightmare 4?

F: No no no, we're- I'm sorry, we jumped.

S: No, the Netflix Hill House.

F: Haunting of Hill House.

J: Yeah, I mean, it's- first and foremost, everything is an allegory for PTSD. Like, currently anything produced over the last three years and in production now, everyone's got PTSD for something. So yeah, I really did enjoy The Haunting of Hill House, but I agree with you that when they went home with it, it was like, "Okay but now everything feels good."

F: Right.

J: It's like, "We got all the way here, but now we're okay. It's fine. What happened was fine." It wasn't fine.

F: Do we care about spoilers?

S: I don't think we should.

F: Alright, good.

J: I mean, by the time this episode comes out, it's gonna be-

F: A year, right? Jesus Christ.

J: It's gonna be a year later.

S: You can't worry about people if they're not gonna do shit.

J: Yeah.

F: If you're not gonna live your life and watch things.

J: How about you, Shaun? Any books or art shape you as a kid?

S: I don't know, man. I'm trying to think and I don't know. No, I don't know.

J: I definitely think there's things that-

S: Like, maybe Duck Tales?

J: Duck Tales, yeah.

F: Have you seen the new one?

S: Yes, it's very good.

F: I like it a lot.

S: Yeah, it's good.

F: I like it a lot.

J: Very good show.

F: My kids like it too.

J: That's important.

F: It is. It is, because they have some terrible taste in things.

J: Yeah, I mean.

S: Terrible things.

F: Holy shit.

J: Has the youngest one outgrown Daniel Tiger yet, or no?

F: Oh yeah yeah yeah.

J: Thank god.

F: He's done with that. But you notice if they don't feel good or something, they'll all of a sudden revert back to like, real baby shows or something like that? It's almost like a comforting thing? I've noticed.

S: No.

F: That's what happens with my kids. I did it too as a kid.

J: I guess that explains why I watch Star Wars so much.

F: Yeah, I feel like, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, if you're in a depression, you just wanna watch fucking, I don't know.

J: I mean, I'm doing better this winter. The apartment’s clean.

F: Fraggle Rock. I've just noticed that if they're sick or something like that, they'll end up turning on some Disney Junior type thing.

J: Okay.

F: And it's cool, it's cool, I mean hey. Whatever you wanna do.

J: Whatever gets you through the after school, right?

F: But they're definitely, Miles is really into Teen Titans.

S: Oh yeah, that's great.

J: That's awesome. He's watching Teen Titans Go?

F: Yeah.

J: That thing's the best. Did you see the movie?

F: Yeah.

J: That shit was great.

F: They love that. The girls just found out about Hannah Montana.

J: Oh boy.

S: Oh.

F: And that's been on demand so there's a lot of Hannah Montana happening at the house right now, which is-

J: A little extra.

F: You can tell by my voice that it's taking its toll. It's like a polar vortex inside the house.

J: You're just watching like, "Alright kids, just wait until you find out what happens after the show goes off the air."

F: Well, my favorite is I didn't realize the southern-ness of the voices. I mean I'd never seen the show until this week, or last week. It's like, "Oh, Daddy! I had such a bad time at school yesterday!"

J: Wow! Like, that much?

S: Holy shit.

F: It's crazy, dude! I couldn't believe it.

S: Wow.

F: I really couldn't believe it. And it sounds like, I think Miley Cyrus has a retainer in or something too, so that she also has like-

J: She might. She was super young when she made that.

F: Yeah, super young. You know, she has a great voice or whatever, when she's singing and all that stuff. But then when she's just doing dialogue, it's lispy and also very southern, that drawl.

J: Yeah.

F: You know? And there was an episode where Dolly Parton was on, it was so much. It was so much to take in.

J: Yeah. Hey man, that's the joy of parenthood. You gotta watch some stuff that maybe you weren't really expecting to watch that day.

F: Yeah. Here's the other thing too. Jamia just recently got a Peloton bike. And there's these classes, which it's awesome, I love it so much. The seat kinda hurts my testicular area.

S: Oh!

F: But other than that, I'm really enjoying it. The other thing that sucks about it is that the music on- because I'm only in the first two weeks of it.

J: Right.

F: And it's these introductory courses which are very like, pop based? And like, country based? I guess they just kinda like, put on music that the majority of normal people listen to.

J: Right.

F: And it's fucking debilitating.

J: Oh, you can't pump your own music in there?

F: Well no, I mean you're taking these classes where people are like, they kinda give you the range of how you're supposed to do this thing, and up until two weeks ago I was able to say I had never heard Rascal Flatts. And now, I can't ever say that again, and it fucking irks me real bad.

J: Yeah, some things you can't unhear, bro.

F: Yeah.

J: You know, I go to Retro Fit and I've been to a couple different ones, and Retrofit is a gym where they also play movies. So like, on the treadmill-

F: Oh really?

J: Yeah, treadmill room. They have treadmills, bikes, and ellipticals in one room, and they play-

F: Is the whole thing like a Rocky fucking, what do you call it?

J: Montage?

F: Montage! Yeah, where they're like high-fiving in the ocean?

J: You'd like the think so, but no. So it's a dark room. So you can run to movies. So I've actually, the one I go to mainly, they kinda keep showing X:3 and Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, and Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

F: Wow!

J: So that's the spread that I'm watching. So, I will tell you there's something very serene about running on a treadmill to Lord of the Rings, because they're walking, you're walking, it's kind of a- you're there together. You're on your way to Mordor. Now I've been to other ones though, and it depends on I guess the management. Because I've been to some other ones. One place was playing horror movies, and they're playing hair metal, and I'm like, "Man, if this was the town I was living in, I'd go to the gym so much more." Because then, you know, you go to the one that's local to you, and it's all like, Rascal Flatts, it's all you know, weird pop hip-hop, but not rap? It's just kinda whatever straddles the line there. Like, the first time I think I heard Nicki Minaj was in the gym. Definitely an experience when you're trying to workout when you can't workout to the thing you normally listen to.

F: Right. I wanna go to the Poison gym though, that sounds fucking amazing.

J: Yeah dude. Well, it used to be in Wellington. I went there a couple times because I was in the area and it was great.

F: Because basically, I mean, 80s hair metal videos are basically just workout videos.

J: It is. Everyone's wearing spandex, I mean, they were the ones originally wearing the lululemon, but that zebra print on them.

F: Dude. That's a gym right there.

J: It really is. God, I miss it.

F: Alright, so.

J: You wanna take another question?

F: Yes yes yes.

J: Alright, this was actually one of my favorite questions. It's from Zoe in Bath, England.

F: Okay.

J: You ready for this?

F: Yes.

J: "Since coconuts grow hair-"

F: Wait, real quick. Can you do it in an English accent?

J: Alright. I'm from England.

F: Yeah, alright. That was good.

J: "Since coconuts grow hair and produce milk, are they actually classed as mammals?"

F: That's kind of Australian.

J: I don't know, I got nothing!

S: That was good.

J: Well, let me tell you.

F: That was good, I liked that.

J: Playing D&D, one of my go-tos, is I kinda slaughter my way through a Scottish accent, and I roll up to a table one day, and one of the gals I was playing with is actually from Scotland.

F: Oh no!

J: And it completely nullified what I would do and say in D&D because it's just like, "Well I can't say that because you're right there." But yeah, so Zoe from Bath wants to know, "Since coconuts grow hair and produce milk, are they actually classed as mammals?"

F: No.

S: I would have a coconut pet.

F: You would have a coconut pet?

J: What would name the pet?

S: Shitball.

F: I like that, that's good. Done and done, next.

S: That's it! Alright.

J: Yeah, that's it. I mean, just because-

F: Where do you go from there?

J: I don't know where you'd go from there, you know? I mean. I would name mine Balthazar, definitely. Coconut pet, I don't know, because I like a lot of Tiki drinks so I feel like it wouldn't last too long. It's like why I could never have a pig as a pet because I love bacon so much.

S: Because you'd eat it.

J: I would eat it.

S: You could milk the coconut.

F: Then throw it out.

J: If there was a way to milk the coconut without killing the coconut, I would totally do that but you know, I just don't trust myself.

F: I like coconut.

S: I hate coconuts, man.

F: Really? My dad likes coconut.

J: I used to hate coconuts too.

S: I think they're shitty.

F: I think they're- it's a lot of work to get into a coconut.

S: No like, no. I'm not saying I don't like them because you have to break the shit open and then eat it.

F: You don't like what- the end result.

S: I don't like what they taste like.

F: Okay, I wasn't saying that you were- I felt like you know, if I were Hambone, I would say, "Maybe the juice ain't worth the squeeze."

S: Oh!

J: How did you know that was what I was gonna say next?

S: That's good, man.

J: God, that's years of friendship right there everybody.

S: That's good.

J: Alright. So yes, we're gonna go with no, and no coconut is safe around me, and Shaun is not pro-coconut so I think that that's a-

F: Pro-conut.

S: Pro-conut, there you go!

J: I am pro-conut. Gabriel from France wants to know if we ever-

F: French, French. French.

J: What's that?

F: You gotta say it in French.

S: Where's your accent, man?

F: Yeah, French.

J: Geez, alright. I'll do it, hold on. "Did you guys ever think of doing music together again?" Oh no!

S: Oh my god!

F: That was good. That was really good. Wow.

J: That was really fucking terrible and I apologize to the people of France.

S: No, don't.

J: I watch a lot of Poirot, and you know.

F: Wow.

J: "These things. My little gray cells," I mean that's as far as I can go with it. But yeah, did we ever think about doing music again. Gabbie from France, we did.

F: Yeah!

S: But we did this instead.

J: But we did this instead.

F: I think this is working out better.

J: I think it's working out a lot better. You know why? I don't have to lift any bass gear up flights of stairs.

F: This is true. Wait, real quick! Did you see what fucking Ampeg announced at NAMM?

J: What? What was it, besides that wall of-

F: It's an 11 foot tall cabinet!

S: Oh my god.

J: That's crazy.

F: I know!

J: It was 11 by 36 or something, it was 36 ten inch speakers.

F: Holy fuck!

J: Yeah.

F: I want one.

J: Well yeah, now I want one too.

F: I want it so bad! Yeah, definitely.

J: I mean, how many heads you think you need to power that up?

F: I think it's just the one.

J: How?

F: I think it's just a fucking wall of plywood and there's one speaker inside. I think it's like 1/50th probably. It's like a Shea Stadium amp. I love it.

J: Yeah, I mean, that's it. It takes up half the stage. Could you imagine the roadie having to lift that? How many roadies do you think you need to lift that amp?

F: Well, it depends. If you're playing King Tut's in Glasgow, you need one guy. That motherfucker, they're fine.

J: Only one.

F: But I would like to see a stage setup, that amp and then like, two guitar combos. That's it. You know what I mean?

J: Yeah, it's so overcompensating.

F: I love it. I love it. I think it's amazing.

J: Yeah. My god, I saw the picture of it and the person standing next to it. Of course they picked the smallest possible person to stand next to it.

F: You don't know that! That dude was huge!

S: You don't know that.

J: It has Jason Momoa. He was still coming up short.

F: I think, you know what? It's funny. There's- to go back to the question, I think that there's a few songs that I wish we could've recorded in a proper way.

J: Yeah.

S: Yeah.

J: Agreed.

F: And you know, hey, we're not dead yet.

J: There you go, that's your answer. Crystal from Rio de Janeiro, and I don't even know where to begin.

S: Come on, do the accent.

J: I wouldn't even know where to begin with this!

F: It's Portuguese, right?

S: Just do something.

J: Oh god.

S: Just try.

J: Um... No. I'm gonna take a pass on this one. Crystal from Rio de Janeiro wants to know, "Frank, when are you coming to Brazil?"

F: Oh! We just announced that.

J: Well, there you go.

F: So there you go.

J: See? You ask a question, you receive an answer, Crystal.

F: We're playing Sao Paulo in April, I believe.

J: Very cool.

F: Yeah. I know.

S: That was the perfect question.

F: There you go, see? Psh, done.

J: See? Some answers are easier than others, kids. Olivia wants to know, and she's from North Carolina, "What inspired us to start the podcast? Was it spur of the moment, or did we plan this?"

F: Definitely not planned.

J: Nope.

F: Right? Well, I mean, yeah, you gotta plan a little bit.

S: A little bit.

F: Because you have to have a microphone and a recording device.

J: Yeah, had to buy some gear.

F: It was like, yeah, it was one of those things where, I think we had breakfast one day, and we were like, "We should just do a podcast."

S: Yeah.

F: And then we had one more breakfast, and planned the day to start it, and now we're here.

J: So we're gonna end this episode with one more question. It's actually, I feel like, a normal question. Not like any of your other questions weren't that normal. I mean, maybe not the coconut one, but it was still my favorite.

S: I liked that one.

J: Ketevan-

S: I'm sorry, what?

J: Ketevan.

F: What?

J: That's- I'm saying it as I'm reading it.

S: Alright.

F: Alright, one more time.

J: Um, "Do you have any tips for teens who are going into the music industry?"

S: No wait, we want the name again.

F: What's the name?

J: Ketevan.

F: Alright.

J: Ketevan.

F: Oh, Ketevan.

J: Just go with it, man.

F: Got it.

J: Listen, you should hear how I pronounce fantasy names. It's like right up there with Menzoberranzan. And that only took me like three months to learn how to say properly. But yeah- Ketevan wants to know if you have any tips for teens that are going into the music industry.

F: Wow.

J: Don't.

F: Yeah. Tips for teens.

S: Tips for teens, that's like a whole segment on its own.

J: Oh my god.

S: Tips for teens.

F: That sounds like a segment that-

S: We shouldn't do.

J: We should never do.

F: We should never touch!

S: Sorry.

F: Uh yeah, no. Yeah. Oh Jesus, sorry. Um, you wanna get into music? Oh Jesus. I feel like-

S: Learn how to play an instrument, right? I mean, there's a lot of shit that you don't even have to play anymore.

F: That's true. That's true. You know-

S: I mean, you could still-

F: Could do whatever, yeah.

S: You could still do shit.

F: Do whatever. I guess it's gotta start from having something to say and playing from the heart. Whether it's, you know, making noise on a laptop, or banging pots and pans together, or learning how to play an instrument, you know? Yeah, just I guess, don't be full of shit, you know, kinda thing.

J: Yeah.

F: Do it for the right reasons. Do it because you have to do it, not because you think you're gonna get anything out of it.

J: Yeah, don't do it because you think you're gonna suddenly become rich and famous. Do it because you wake up everyday and that's the feeling in your heart, that you need do something creative, and have fun with it. Make sure you have fucking fun with it. And make sure you surround yourself with the right people who are aligned with the kinda things that you wanna do, and not in like an ego way. Just that they're easy to get along with, because if you're having fun with your friends, you're gonna make something better always.

F: I agree. I agree.

J: Anything, Shaun?

S: You guys, I mean, you guys nailed it. You guys are just-

J: So, thanks for joining us.

S: Just don't bang on coconuts.

J: Hey man, if you get a mic and some filters, you can make it sound pretty good.

S: Just milking coconuts.

J: So thanks for joining us for this episode of the Casual Interactions podcast. Until we meet again, hold on to your friends.

[kaycha1989]

The Right Partner

My Hero Academia Fanfic

Characters: Katsuki Bakugou, OC

Rating: Mature

Summary: After graduating UA, Bakugou joined Best Jeanist's agency as a sidekick, but after three years of failed attempts at finding Bakugou a partner, Best Jeanist is desperate. Could a friend of his have the answer to his problem or will Bakugou scare away his newest partner?

Chapter One

“Honestly, I don’t know what to do with him.” Best Jeanist tells his friend Spotlight over the phone, “I’ve tried teaching Bakugou to rein in his anger and about the importance of keeping up appearances but he is impossible.”

Spotlight is a hero in America that is also into fashion. Like his name suggests his quirk allows him to control and direct light. He can focus light into powerful beams or direct it where he needs it for photo shoots.

“He looks like a handful.” Spotlight replies looking at the picture Jeanist just sent him, “With that handsome face and powerful quirk he will definitely have no problem becoming popular.”

“If it wasn’t for his foul mouth and his abrasive personality, plus he runs off everyone I try to partner him with. The sidekicks at my agency refuse to work with him. He has great potential to be the number one hero if I can only teach him how,” Jeanist sighs.

“So… you need a partner for him that can take his shit and hand it back to him.” Spotlight says thoughtfully.

“Yes, but the people I know of that can deal with Bakugou already have accepted positions at other agencies. His friends understand him and are used to his behavior but he needs to learn not to be so explosive with his words.” Jeanist replies.

“You know I have someone who might be just what you’re looking for.” Spotlight said with a chuckle.

“Seriously? At this point I’m willing to try anything,” Jeanist says eagerly.

“It would be more like fighting fire with fire… someone with a strong personality and quirk that can keep up with Bakugou. Honestly, if this works they will be a scary strong team, and it just so happens that she is interested in being an international hero,” Spotlight tells his friend.

“I don’t need another problem child,” Jeanist says irritably.

“You misunderstood me, she isn’t a problem child. She gets along very well with others but is a very dominant leader in a group. I usually pair her with the newbies to teach them how to cooperate and listen in a team setting; she has a natural knack for it,” Spotlight informs him.

“Sounds promising,” Jeanist replied, “What more can you tell me about her?”

“Truthfully, I’m not really willing to let her go. She is already rising fast through the rankings here in America. She is an amazing singer and performer as well, and I’ve recently talked her into doing some modeling. Her potential is amazing but she is still lacking in some self-confidence,” Spotlight tells his friend. “She is one of those ‘she doesn’t realize she is beautiful’ types. I just sent you a picture.”

Jeanist opens the email his friend sent. The picture loads to show a young woman with beautiful almond shaped green eyes and long dark purple hair that looks like it would reach her waist if it was down. Her bright smile and alluring eyes make her look like someone very friendly while at the same time making her appear to be someone you wouldn’t want to make angry.

“Wow, she is definitely a beauty but that won’t stop Bakugou from being and ass,” Jeanist informs his friend.

“Trust me it is not her looks I’m counting on,” Spotlight laughs.

“What is her quirk?” Jeanist asks.

“I’m glad you asked. I think it will be a perfect match for Bakugou’s Explosion…” Spotlight replies

%%%%%

Great, this is just great… how many of these damn partners do I have to run off before Best Jeanist realizes I don’t need one? Bakugou thought to himself.

The young hero had been called in to report to Best Jeanist’s office. Bakugou guessed it was because he had found him a new partner. It had been a while since he ran off the last one, so he thought he had finally gotten the point across.

Reaching the pro hero’s office, Bakugou threw the doors open with a bang. Flopping down in a chair he, glared at his mentor.

“If you break the door you’ll have to pay for a new one,” Best Jeanist tells the young hero.

“Whatever,” Bakugou scoffed, “What do you want?”

“Well, I think I’ve finally found you a partner,” Jeanist tells him.

“This shit again? How many times do I have to tell you I don’t need a damn partner,” Bakugou hollers.

“Whatever you may think, having a partner early in your career is essential to your development as a pro hero,” Jeanist tells him. “It took a lot to get her here from America. She was a sidekick for a good friend of mine, and he didn’t want to let her go.”

“Her? So you are pairing me up with some damn chick from America?” Bakugou blustered. “I don’t have time to babysit some fucking girly wannabe.”

“Wow, Spotlight wasn’t kidding. He really is quite the charmer!” a sarcastic voice came from behind him.

Bakugou turned around in his seat to see a young woman standing in the doorway.  She was tall with dark purple hair and green eyes. She walked in with a bag slung over her shoulder and made her way to Jeanist’s desk.

“Hello, sir.” she held her hand out to Jeanist. “I’m the hero from Spotlight’s agency, Wildside, and I want to thank you for this opportunity.”

Jeanist took the hero’s hand and gave it a firm shake. “I trust your trip here was a good one?” Jeanist asked.

“My flight didn’t have any problems and the person who picked me up was very nice,” Wildside said with a smile.

“Tch,” Bakugou scoffed. Great, another goodie two-shoes that is all smiles and fucking rainbows.

“Well, I’m glad you made it,” Best Jeanist said as he sat behind his desk. “I would like to introduce you to your partner, Katsuki Bakugou. His hero name is Ground Zero.”

Turning toward the ashy blonde man, Wildside held out her hand, “I’m looking forward to working with you.”

“Whatever, let’s get one thing straight: I work alone.” Bakugou brushed off her handshake and stood up to his full height so that the top of her head reached his eyes.

Matching his fierce glare, she smiled. “Well, I guess you will have to get used to working with a partner then.”

“Bakugou, I want you to show Wildside around the agency,” Jeanist interrupted.

“Like hell!” Bakugou yelled before storming out of the office.

“Well that was interesting,” Wildside said turning back to Jeanist.

“I’m sorry for his despicable behavior,” Jeanist apologized. “He may not seem like it, but he is an exceptional hero.”

“I will have to take your word for it sir,” Wildside said looking back towards the door. “Spotlight said I was going to have my hands full.”

“I hope you still wish to stay?” Jeanist asked.

“Definitely, I’m not about to let that grump ruin this for me. You can count on me sir,” She replied. “I should introduce myself properly. My name is Hales, Kia Hales.”

“It is nice to meet you, Miss Hales,” Jeanist bowed.

%%%%%

Bakugou slammed his locker shut after he shoved his costume inside.  Grabbing his towel he turned to head toward the showers only to come face to face with his new partner.

“What the hell are you doing in here?” Bakugou asked. “This is the men’s locker room or can’t you read Japanese?”

Kia ignored his remark. “I can read Japanese just fine but I don’t know my way around the agency yet. Jeanist said to find you and have you show me to the support and wardrobe offices.”

“And what, you just figured you would come in here and take a peek?” Bakugou accused, aware that he was standing there in nothing but his boxers.  

“Not saying that you aren’t impressive, but you’ve got nothing I haven’t seen before,” Kia said with a grin.

“What?” Bakugou snarled.

“I figured I would have to corner you to get you to help me, so here I am!” Kia said.

“The hell? Just wait outside.” Bakugou said pushing his way past her and heading to the showers.

Smiling, Kia made her way out of the locker room and sat on a bench outside the door to wait for her partner.

Bakugou took as slow a shower as he could, taking his time to dry and dress himself. He was hoping his new partner would get tired of waiting and leave. Much to his dismay, when he left the locker room she was sitting there waiting for him.

“Where do you want to go?” he asked gruffly.

“If you could take me to wardrobe I would appreciate it,” Kia replied.

“Follow me,” Bakugou said.

Kia quickly gathered her bags and followed Bakugou down the hall. Pointing to his right he told her. “Women’s locker rooms are down that hallway.”

“Thanks,” Kia replied.

They walked in silence until Bakugou stopped at a door two floors up from the locker rooms. “There,” he said crossing his arms and leaning against the doorway.

Kia walked in and introduced herself to the staff. Bakugou remained at the doorway, curious as to what his new partner was doing.  Pulling a suit out of one of her bags, Kia handed it over to the staff along with a file.

“Anything specific you want for your costume?” one of the staff members asked.

“Well if definitely needs to be resistant to burning or freezing. As far as color I’m not too picky. Try not to make it too revealing if you could please. That file contains the makeup of my old costume as well as specifics on my quirks.” Kia told them.

“Very well, we should be able to have your new suit ready in about three days,” the staff member said to her.

“Thanks so much!” Kia replied.

“By the way, who is your partner?” the other staff member asked. “Jeanist likes partners to have slight similarities in their uniforms.”

“Really?” Kia replied. “Well, my partner is Ground Zero.”

The staff members’ faces darkened when she told them who her partner was.

“You poor girl,” one of them said.

“We will definitely have to make the fabric sturdy,” another said. “And she will need spares.”

“I hope you have better luck than his former partners,” one said while patting her on the back.

“Uhm …thanks?” Kia replied, making her way to the door.

She was surprised to see Bakugou still standing by the door, and from the look on his face, he had heard everything the staff members said.

Bakugou turned with his hands in his pockets, bangs covering his eyes he made his way down the hall. Kia followed behind looking closely at her new partner. Filing into the elevator, the silence continued.

“You didn’t like what they were saying, did you?” Kia asked.

“Who the hell cares what those losers think?” Bakugou snapped.

“You know, it’s ok to have...” Kia started. Bam!! Bakugou’s fist collided with the wall right next to her head.

“SHUT THE HELL UP IF YOU DON’T WANT TO DIE!!” Bakugou exploded.

“If you are trying to intimidate me, it’s not going to work,” Kia said with a glare.

“FUCK YOU!” Bakugou pushed away as the doors to the elevator opened. Turning away he stormed out of the elevator and towards the front doors of the agency. Throwing the doors open, he stomped off. Kia watched as her short tempered partner stormed away.

“Well we are off to a good start,” Kia sighed to herself. “I better find somewhere to stay.” She took off in the opposite direction, not sure what to think of her new partner. 

Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5 | Ch 6 | Ch 7 | Ch 8 | Ch 9 | Ch 10 | Ch 11 | Ch 12 | Ch 13 | Ch 14 | Ch 15 | Ch 16 | Ch 17 | Ch 18 | Ch 19 | Ch 20  

[orionsangel86]

Episode Review - 14x01 - Want, Everything, Sunshine, and Beyonce

Hellatus is over everyone! Put away the crack memes and shit posts and bring out your meta caps because we are back in business! Oh boy are we back in business! 

Right before @tinkdw came over to watch the premier with me, we discussed our expectations and both agreed that whilst our expectations were pretty much in our boots, we would consider the episode a success if it was even remotely meta. We wanted to be able to see clearly constructed themes both as a continuation of what had come previously and as a foundation for a strong season going forward. We were both hoping that at least from a meta perspective, that the episode would leave us happy and thirsting for more.

Dabb did not disappoint us.

It was such a strong episode meta-wise. There is a lot to pick apart that is ripe for discussion and I seriously hope that Dabb will keep a close eye on the other writers to ensure that these themes continue throughout the season. Plot-wise it was a weaker episode, but then again Dabb has always focused on the character emotional arcs more than the actual plot points in recent years, and I am grateful for that. The second half of season 13 felt stagnant to me simply because there was little to no character development and from a meta perspective it was also extremely weak. I went into this hellatus feeling negative about the show simply because I hadn’t actually enjoyed an episode properly since 13x12. However, the season 14 opener was most definitely enough to quench my thirst and get me excited for the coming season. Fingers crossed it goes from strength to strength.

Long review under the cut

Michael!Dean - What Do You Want

Straight in after the introductory Nyoooom of Baby (driven by a grim looking Sam and a pretty impressive swap from title music to diegetic music), we are introduced to the angel of the hour. 

8 Things about Michael:

1. I am not sure how I feel about Jensen’s performance right now. He is playing Michael extremely straight and whilst I can see how this cold, calm portrayal can come across quite terrifying, it’s not a carry over from Christian Key’s performance. I don’t want to be too critical, because we only saw him in a few scenes so far, but when I compare it to how Tahmoh portrayed Gadreel alongside Jared, and the way Misha pretty much nailed Mark P’s performance (and greatly improved it), I guess I’m still waiting for Jensen to WOW me in the role. The one thing I will say is that he did terrify me and managed to come across creepy when acting alongside his own WIFE. So he's doing something right I'll give him that. When Jensen wants to have chemistry with someone, he does.

2. I like the fact that Michael’s goal right now seems to be to educate himself on our world. He’s not running around causing terror and mayhem like Lucifer, he’s learning how best to go about “improving” the world. He also appears to be inspiring people with his words: “Holy men, leaders, killers” and we have seen the effect he had already on Kip the Demon - who was inspired to run for King of Hell until Sam Fucking Winchester ruined that plan. I wonder if we will be seeing the fallout of Michael’s specific type of inspiration throughout the season.

3. “What do you want?” Obviously this question is an important one. It was repeated like six times throughout the episode, though never to the main characters. It looks like this is going to be the theme of the season and as far as TFW’s personal journey’s go, this is now the question we are asking them and the question being explored. What does Sam want? Or Cas? Or Dean? This has an endgame flavour to it that has me extremely excited. 

4.Michael’s own personal want of “A better world” is a follow on in a way of many of the villains that have come before him. For seasons now we have been exploring this concept of improving the world for the better. We had it first in season 8 when the brothers had the goal to do the trials to make a world without demons, in season 11 Amara’s vision was to destroy so she could reshape the world to her own blueprints that she saw as better than Chuck’s. Dabb era has been even more obvious, first with the goal of the British Men of Letters being “a world without monsters” which was shared by Mary wanting a better world for her boys, and then in season 13 Jack’s arrival floated the idea of “paradise world” to Castiel. I don’t think Michael is gonna fair any better than any of these others, and wonder exactly where all these escalated versions of “a better world” will end up. It's all exploring the notion that nothing is black and white, but in fact a grey area.

5. I already discussed Michael and Sister Jo here. Cas mirrors... Cas mirrors everywhere... I also side eye the "pretty things" line because it reaks of Dean and his whole sublimation thing. In that sense it seems Dabb is making Jo a mirror for both our boys. I'll be keeping a close eye on her from now on.

6. ”Why would he say yes to you?” “Love”. OH DEAN. Just, Dean wasn’t in this episode but my god did we feel his presence RIGHT HERE. And to think there are people out there that still think this is a macho mans show about macho manly men. I’ve never known another character with more heart than Dean Winchester. This show is about LOVE above all things. I wish people would stop trying to deny that fact.

7. Radioactive Pigeon:

Look I’m not trying to be critical okay it’s very pretty and this is the FIRST time they have attempted showing an angels true form and that is amazeballs and all, but still. He has little pigeon wings and a bent halo. Pfft.

8. The Purity of Vampires. I actually love this. I think it comes across a bit silly on the surface, but the whole idea of monsters being pure is a massive callback to purgatory and season 8 and anything that calls back to season 8 makes me happy. 

Sam Fucking Winchester

Excuse me while I scream HELL YES. I have been waiting for Sam to take on the leadership role for AGES. Honestly this was always my dream endgame for Sam. To organise and lead the hunting community. There’s your better world guys. It was something that the writers flirted with in late season 12, but at the time Sam only took on the position with Dean’s approval and encouragement to go ahead. Sam has always stepped back and let Dean take the lead throughout the show as the big brother and parental figure. I think this was always a role he was destined to fill and something that has been building in the subtext for a long time (much the same way as the toxic codependency has been shown to hold Sam back.) 

What’s of interest here is what will happen when Dean comes back and is fighting fit. Will Sam relinquish his leadership position to Dean? Or fight for it? Will this cause conflict? I read this amazing meta on this which turned into an epic discussion and I highly recommend reading it. My HEART.

Sam’s state in the episode is one of constant motion. He cannot stop for a second, always being pulled from one thing to another. He doesn’t sleep, he doesn’t get to change out of his hideous blue and orange shirt (which is officially now my favourite Sam shirt), he doesn’t even get to finish his soup. I know Jared said that Sam had a ‘grief beard’ but Tink and I are adamant that the beard is simply due to the fact that Sam doesn’t get the time to shave. He has taken so much weight on his shoulders and in amongst that has to deal with horribly traumatic things such as face the face of his abuser and actually be a healer to him. Sam doesn't get a moment to himself and spends all his time concerned about others. It's very noble of him, but he's going through the motions.

Sam is the contrast here to both Cas and Dean, who are physically and mentally stuck in their awful situations. Sam is also stuck in a way, stuck with no time to actually contemplate the situation he has got himself in. Stuck without a moment to breath, or to grieve his brother. Stuck holding the weight of the world on his shoulders as every other single character looks to him for support, help and guidance. Sam is the motherfucking Beyonce of the episode, that is for certain.

He is also calling the shots on hell now...

(x)

... I find it amusing that back in the early days Sam's destiny was to be the boy king of hell, and it's almost like he's fulfilled that destiny, not by being king, but by being gatekeeper and in a position powerful enough to scare the demons into submission. This is probably what Crowley intended. Sam probably owns the moon now.

About Nick - Well, first of all, I TOLD YOU SO. I did say that I could tell the guy from the back of his head and I was damn right about that. Learn to trust me guys I am occasionally good at this stuff. Okay, now that that is out of my system, let’s talk about this. Round of applause for Jared in this scene. Because he takes Sam’s hell trauma extremely seriously and made sure that every nuance, every twitch, was picked up by those camera’s. I loved that. Potentially Nick could be a good way to help Sam heal in the coming season, as Sam has finally freed himself from Lucifer’s grasp. Is it fair that he should have to look after the face that tormented him for years? No. Not at all, but could it prove somewhat cathartic in the end? Maybe. 

At the end of the day, Dabb must have considered Nick to have a purpose beyond “I want to give Bucklemming something to play with so they don’t fuck up my actual story” and “We need to keep stroking Mark P’s ego for some stupid reason”. Because otherwise I am really worried about how limited his power must be, and refuse to entertain the thought that he was overthrown by Singer and his horrid wife. I can see the potential in Nick being a dark mirror for Dean following his freedom from Michael’s possession. How Nick deals with the post possession trauma could be an indicator to how Dean is really coping even when he buries it.

At the same time, both Sam and Cas have been possessed by Lucifer, and therefore have all the experience between them to help Dean’s recovery without needing Nick to get involved. So I dunno guys. I’m trying to see the positive in something I otherwise despise. 

Anyway I thought Jared was fucking superb in that scene and pretty much the whole episode and want to give him a round of applause because it is rare that he truly gets to shine on his own without Jensen by his side.

Now all we need is for Sam to get some sleep. How he is still functioning by the episodes end I will never understand.

Castiel Everything Winchester

(x)

Look at him. So defiant and done. You can almost imagine that fire behind him burning in his eyes as well. He’s such a dom.

Several things about Cas in 14x01:

1. He is 100% done with every demon on the planet and doesn’t give a fuck. Honestly though. The way he says “Oh God” when Kip walks in. The way he rolls his eyes. I wonder if he had Dean’s voice in his head saying “You know who wears sunglasses indoors Cas? Douchebags.” 

2. He is making desperate choices in order to save Dean, which is certainly typical for him. The fact that he spends the entire episode stuck in a chair is a fantastic metaphor for his whole feelings on the situation, a metaphor then reinforced through a mirror at the end when he speaks with Jack (we never get anything explicit with Cas do we?). The fact that Cas can’t save Dean right now is weighing on him, but he is determined to do whatever it takes. The conversation he has with Sam at the end is a brilliantly short but important moment:

“I should never have gone to those demons”

“Cas no I don’t blame you. honestly I wish I had thought of it first. If it meant finding Dean I’d work with.. I’d do anything.”

The takeaway here is that actions speak louder than words. Sam HAS been distracted being leader of the hunters and having to face his own nightmares thanks to Nick, but Cas has literally been doing anything he can with a soul focus on saving Dean. 

It's an intimate moment between them. In a bunker now bustling with life and movement this is the only time in the episode that it really seems still. The library has always been Sam's private space, where he feels most at home - like the kitchen is for Dean. But here he and Cas sit as equals together weighed down by their shared grief. It's the soft moments like this that I love the most about this show. They are both willing to do anything they can, but the difference is that whilst Sam is being pulled in lots of different directions, Cas’s sole focus is Dean. Note that heaven wasn’t mentioned once. It hasn’t even crossed his mind.

3. Everyone Knows, but Cas doesn’t give a shit. 

“How is it you lost Dean, I thought you guys were joined at the... well you know, everything.”

It is an extremely explicit nod to Destiel. It is also the first time a line like this has made it into an episode since season 7 I think. The difference now being that we’ve had years of steady subtext and narrative building on the love story, hence the line has a different weight to those previously. It was very carefully written, careful not to imply that Cas was joined to BOTH Winchesters as the line was specifically about Dean. It was written by the showrunner, who would have known the significance of such a line, it encourages the view that all of heaven and hell have made their own assumptions about Dean and Cas’s relationship, and in case anyone wants to argue that the missing word was “hip” like the saying goes, the gesture and nod by Kip goes to prove otherwise. In other words, there is no platonic interpretation. Which is delightful.

Cas’s completely stoic silence is even more delightful. God I love him.

4. He can’t see demons true faces anymore. Like everyone else, Cas not realising those people were demons really threw me for a moment. Tink and I both agreed that the scene should have had Kip snap his fingers and have the demons smoke in and possess all those people instead - still catching Cas off guard but not making it seem like he is just super unobservant. I personally feel like this was just an error Dabb made. I have no desire to try to meta explain that one and I accept it as the error it is. I do like that it took an entire room of demons and 4 sets of enochian hand cuffs to overpower him though...The fact that he had to sit there and watch his family be beaten and almost killed around him whilst he was helpless again, is an excellent parallel to Dean’s current situation and what he will most likely have to face in the coming episodes, and also a reflection of Cas’s mental state (as mentioned above), Coming out of this episode it seems like this will be another season where Cas and Dean mirror each other and walk similar paths in terms of growth and development - if only those paths would meet with a kiss!

5. He’s the bait. Tink found this line hilarious straight away, where as I had to blink and ask why because I obviously took offence. But once we started discussing it and realised the quadruple entendre it is I found myself applauding Dabb on his genius. Cas IS used as bait, by the SPN PR people. Because he’s Mister Popularity. He’s also the character who causes the most conflict in fandom, with those who love him so much they are bitter and mean and those who simply hate him often complaining about the exact same things but in different ways - leaving the regular fans stuck in the middle (Tink explained this to me with delight - how both anti’s and bitter!cas girls alike will latch onto that line for completely different reasons). He’s also potentially a queerbait depending on how you look at it. But anyway. Cas’s epic eye rolls in this episode were almost enough to rival Sam’s bitchfaces. I am impressed.

6. He takes no pleasure for himself. I am forever going to obsess over Cas’s relationship with human food and drink:

“Coffee has no effect on me.”

“Me either, not anymore. But its like with saltwater taffee or infants, you know I just like the taste”

Although we can argue his refusal is out of stubbornness to not give the demon the satisfaction, even when accepting drinks from the Winchesters he doesn’t usually bother, or will stick with water. Even if he is seen ordering coffee it is usually only to avoid looking suspicious in diners. We know Cas enjoys some food and drink, but Cas rarely allows himself the pleasure. Even in 13x14 when Dean offered him a beer, it remained unopened. A symbolic metaphor for Cas refraining from indulging in other pleasures? This is why I am so so desperate for Michael to ask Cas what it is HE wants. Lucifer stated that Cas was a “pleasureless dullard” and I want to see this theme continue. Cas uses his grace as an excuse not to indulge and I consider this linked to meta about the “sacred oath” of heaven and Cas being duty bound and numbed by his grace. But these are all elements for a bigger meta at another time and the moment in this episode is just another snippet of that.

7. He looks awesome framed in fire. I just really liked the set up of Motown Meats as the new hang out for hell, with its fire pit and orange glowy bar. There is a lot of general symbolism there but I enjoyed the flames framed behind Cas in every shot he was in. Because even though he was mostly stuck in this episode, that fire raging inside him didn’t burn out once. He WILL save Dean. Just as he promised to Jack at the end, even if he get’s battered, beaten and bruised, his determined stubborness to save his husband will win eventually. Cas is no longer the broken thing of seasons 11/12. He well and truly rose like a phoenix in season 13 and now it’s showing through, as it’s a mission fueled by his own passion and love.

Jack Winchester (AKA my nougat son)

Poor Jack, like his father he hasn't had it easy in 14x01. He is struggling with his humanity now, his usefulness, in such a clear mirror to Cas that it kinda hits you in the face. He is desperately seeking guidance from those around him. First in the form of AU Bobby who has clearly bonded with Jack following their experiences together in apocalypse world.

It is great to finally see the Bunker gym! A room we all have ingrained in our fandom hive mind thanks to a 100 destiel fanfics. We all know what's gone on in there. >.>

Throughout the episode, Jack seeks out guidance first with Bobby, which goes badly, then with Sam, which is interrupted, and finally with Cas, which is when he finally gets told what he needs to hear. I am really happy that whilst Jack has so many father figures now, it is Cas who truly holds that torch and is able at least somewhat give Jack what he needs near the episodes end. If only he had damn well given his son a hug!

I loved the conversation so much that I transcripted it here:

JACK: I’m fine.

CAS: You did well

JACK: All I did was get punched. In the face

CAS: To be fair we all got punched in the face

JACK: That’s not - Before when I had my powers I could have done something

CAS: Jack you don’t have your powers, and your grace should regenerate in time, but until then..

JACK: I’m useless. I cant kill demons I cant find Dean and Michael is in our world and I cant stop him.

I can’t do anything. I don’t have anything.

CAS: Oh Jack. That’s just not true. You’ve got me. You have all of us. You have your family.

And we are going to find dean and we are going to beat Michael and we are going to do it together. Because that’s what we do.

This whole conversation was PERFECT. Every line chosen so specifically and weighted with meaning. Urgh Dabb I fucking love you for this.

Jack starts with “I’m fine” which Cas knows by now means you are not fine but he has also learned to recognise that sometimes it doesn’t mean “leave me alone” as Jack was crying out for guidance and support here. 

The mirrored “got punched in the face” calls to attention the fact that Jack is a reflection of Cas himself here and everything he has felt both now and in the past.

Jack’s complaint about being useless without his powers is a fear Cas has carried with him since his fall in season 9. It’s something that still weighs on him and whilst Cas now knows his place by the Winchester’s side, knows that they are a family and that he is not just a hammer, I think that fear of losing his power and being cast out is still well and truly weighing him down. It will be cathartic for Cas to see the family accept Jack as one of their own even if he is “useless” and human. 

Cas’s “That’s just not true” when Jack says he is useless - his voice breaks and you KNOW Cas has had those exact same thoughts.

“you’ve got me, you’ve got all of us. You have your family” compared to You’re my family, I love you, I love all of you” compared to “We're family. We need you. I need you.” The difference is there is no ambiguity in the word ME. Dabb turned it around, but had Cas clear it up. It’s the same line every time. The only difference is the placement of each individual statement. If this isn’t yet another clear example that the “I love you” was specifically directed at Dean I don’t know what is. THIS IS A CONTINUING PATTERN PEOPLE.

The determined promise to save Dean at the end, right after he specifies the singular and plural because obviously Dean was on Cas’s mind at that point - Mister I Don’t Get Words Wrong over here knows exactly what he means.

I love this whole conversation, but as I said above, it drums home the fact that whilst the Winchesters and others may be sources of guidance and support for Jack, he only has one true father, and I think Dabb wanted to make that clear in this episode. Remember:

Fingers crossed for more father/son bonding between these two in future episodes.

Mary and Bobby

(x)

Baring in mind I was expecting 1 small Destiel moment in the episode in the form of a line from a demon. You have NO IDEA how happy this moment between Mary and Bobby made me. If anyone saw that inktober pic I drew for premier day of me and Tink gasping in shock at the screen, it was for THIS moment. My face lit up in delight.

I said at the start of this long review that Dabb picked his moments well. With every second counting from a meta perspective. This was one of those.

Tell me, anyone, when watching that moment, would you deny that there was something between Bobby and Mary? As homework I'd like you all to play this scene to your heteronormative friends and family, or even be brave and ask a bibro. Would ANYONE deny that it was intended to be romantic?! I highly doubt it.

And yet there was nothing textually explicitly romantic about it. There was NOTHING in this scene that hasn’t been filmed a thousand times between Dean and Cas. The fact that Dabb chose to write this extremely small seemingly unimportant moment, in the kitchen, and for Bobby to use THOSE EXACT WORDS. As I have mentioned several times already, Dabb doesn’t fuck around when using well known moments from past canon in order to reinforce the importance of a thing. Dabb LOVES parallels. He wrote Bloodlines after all. He also knows the fandom hive mind and the things we pick up on and latch on to. This was a very smart calculated decision to include this in the episode and I am LIVING that he did it. GIVE ME ALL THE BOBBY x MARY/ DESTIEL PARALLELS. 

...

I actually really liked Mary in this episode. There is so much discourse in fandom about her and whilst I find Sam Smith pretty cold and wooden, I have never understood the utter hatred of Mary as a character. Hence why I praise Dabb’s genius at this moment:

(x)

Because this line literally sums up her entire arc since her return. Tink and I paused the episode and basically flailed at each other because this is EXACTLY what Mary has been trying to do. She was in HEAVEN, with her BABIES and suddenly she is back on earth with two grown men who are strangers to her, telling her they are hunters and have suffered a life of HORRORS without her. So she ran. Hell, I would have ran too. She shoved herself into hunting because all she could think about was trying to make things GOOD for her boys. Trying to FIX her mistakes the only way she knew how: by HUNTING. She was drowning in the bad. So she found focus in trying to make things good. Like in this episode, she reassures Sam so much that he snaps at her. He doesn’t want to be reassured, and that’s fine. But my god this felt like the first time Mary has truly had a voice. I really weren’t kidding when I said that Dabb made sure every word counted.

OTHER THINGS

I am unsure how I feel about the title card:

Tink called it. I think it looks a bit odd, a bit too clean. I like the title cards to be grim and dark. Black angel wings though! And hey, at least the fiery halos in the title cards are perfectly spherical... so we know they CAN do it right...

*side eyes SFX team*

Kip as a wannabe Crowley was kinda fun for a one off episode but I am glad that they are stressing now that wannabe Crowley’s get killed. The last one we had was Bart in 13x08 who was very much the same flirtatious queer coded demon. I’m fed up with the villainous queer coding by now. It’s been done too often. Give me another Demon like Alastair or Ramiel or none at all.

“Asmodeus Kentucky Fried” DID ANYONE LIKE ASMODEUS OTHER THAN BUCKLEMMING? This made me LOL.

The fight scene at the end was really weird and overly long. I dunno why they decided on so many random slow mo and wooosh shots. the whole Mary slow mo throwing the blade at Sam was cringy. I wish they’d stop being experimental and stick with what they know! You think they’d learn after 13x23!

Maggie was a bit annoying. Why bring her along if she can’t fight? Also the random cuts to her reaction after Jack was angsty had me reeling. simply because in het couples that’s a brewing romance and that is a massive NOPE from me. I like her as an individual character, I DO NOT like her as a love interest to a 1 year old, and I certainly wouldn’t like some pining story for her where she falls for an unavailable guy. It’s not fair on her character. The one thing I did like was the “pointy end” comment. It reminded me of Charlie for some reason.

The throw away line about Ketch being in London looking for the golden egg Lucifer/president extractor. Nice closing of a plot hole there Dabb.

I liked the Jesus weapon expert hunter dude. He seemed quirky. Dead man’s blood bullets are an excellent idea. 

DETROIT. Why does everything always happen in Detroit? I swear one day they are gonna reveal that Detroit is like a central universal power hub where the walls between the dimensions are thinnest or something. I could go on about this but I am sure a better meta writer elsewhere already has and this is waaay too long so I’m leaving this here.

If you got this far. Kudos and thank you for sticking around to read my thoughts. Feel free to ask me anything about any of the above. If I could hand out cookies through the internet I totally would right now.

Basically I enjoyed the episode. I have since re-watched it a dozen times and it is really the meta of it all that makes me love it. The story IS weak, and there ARE moments that are a bit odd, or infuriating depending on the way you look at it, but the heart of the episode was classic Dabb. All character driven and full of meaning. I am extremely well fed after this meta feast, perhaps even enough to get me through the horror show that will be Bucklemming’s 14x02. 

So long as Cas continues to look like a sexy beast I’m sure I’ll get through it.

I’ll just leave this here:

God he’s such a dom. :P